#i wonder if people knew how little authors—even their favorites!—make if it would change their minds about pirating books

[sirnotappearinginthisblog]

the number of people I see publicly supporting piracy (particularly of books) and shoplifting on here is wild tbh

like who do you think you’re hurting when you refuse to pay for books? It sure as shit ain’t the CEO of any big publisher, just like you’re not hurting the Walmart CEO when you shoplift from their stores

the people who suffer financially are always the ones on the bottom, and believe it or not in publishing that’s the authors themselves

[ang3l0fthursday]

“Jessie’s Girl”

matt sturniolo x reader

author note: inspired by the song Jessie’s Girl by rick springfield

summary: matt has a thing for his friend jessie’s girlfriend, and jessie treats her like shit so he tried his best to show her she truly deserves better

warnings: angst | y/ns bf is a cheating asshole | use of y/n😣 | cheating (jessie not y/n| smut (i couldn’t help myself | oral fem!recieving | grinding | p in v | riding | i think that’s it 🤞| sub!matt (kinda) |

word count: about 4k

matt’s pov.

i watched as they danced in the moonlight together in the parking lot we decided to hang out in, i sat on the curb watching them. he twirled her with a bland expression on his face. the rest of our friends were lost in their own conversation, something about internet drama is all i could assume they were talking about from what i had eavesdropped. it was so hard to try and be active in the conversation when she looks so happy with him. him of all people. he twirled and twirled her and she fluttered around him so gracefully.

she was truly the most beautiful girl i’d ever seen. she was flawless in every way. no matter what she seemed to do i couldn’t help but be infatuated with her.

i knew it was wrong, to look at someone else’s girlfriend like that, but he treated her so terribly. he would lie to her and ignore her, and what from i could tell she didn’t notice how badly he treated her. she didn’t realize how she deserved so much better. she deserved the moon and the stars. but she didn’t realize that.

i wanted to make her realize it. i wanted to tell her how badly i wanted to kiss the ground she walked on. how badly i wanted to show her she truly deserved to be loved. not held down like she was with Jessie.

“matt?”

i was broken out of my trance by her soft, beautiful voice.

“are you okay matt?” she bent down to meet my gaze, i looked up to see jessie walking off to the convenience store far off in the distance.

“yeah im sorry jus’ thinking”

she quickly glanced at the ground and giggled as she picked up a penny next to my foot. she sat down next to me on the curb

“penny for your thoughts?” she asked letting out a light giggle

god her laugh was so pretty

i took the penny from her before smiling and just changing the subject.

i kept that penny on my bedside table.

—————

it was some random thursday night, i was with nate, chris, a few other guys, and jessie.

(not excluding nick!! i love nick!! he just wouldn’t hang out with something like jessie)

we were all kind of doing our own thing at this point, everybody was either watching the movie or on their phones.

jessie being one of the people on their phone.

he kept huffing and laughing every once in a while, which caught both mine and chris’s attention.

“you texting your little girlfriend over there?” chris spoke in jessie’s direction, breaking the silence in the room.

“nah i’m texting this chick i met last night at a party”

what the fuck?

“wait what?” i made eye contact with chris, and i could tell nate was uncomfortable with it from the way he tensed.

“yeah dude she’s so hot you wouldn’t believe it, i’m trying link with her”jessie spoke with confidence.

are you fucking kidding me?

“so you’re cheating on y/n?” i asked, trying to regulate my tone

“yeah what about it?”

i suddenly felt a wave of anxiety crash through me and my heart dropped.

“uhm- nothing”

why couldn’t i stand up for her? why couldn’t i tell him he was being an asshole?

thinking back on it, i think i didn’t want to be a problem.

—-

Me, Chris, Nick, Nate, Jessie, and Y/n were all in our hot tub,

she looked so beautiful, the sun had long set and the moonlight bounced off of her pretty hair, she was wearing a blue bikini, it was my favorite color and she just happened to look so beautiful in blue. even though i couldn’t see much due to the rippling water, i tried my best not to let me eyes wonder down her beautiful body.

her and jessie were having their own conversation while i ‘listened’ to nick, chris, and nate’s conversation.

i kept peering over at Jessie and y/n, their conversation seems civil for a while, her letting out giggles and he let out the occasional bored huff.

but, his face slowly fell into a more angry look, hers a sad one.

nate, chris, and nick had wondered into the house for ,what i think they said, a drink.

i tried to keep my gaze away from them but his voice started getting louder, and before i knew it he was full on yelling at her

“no! no you’re fucking crazy! i can’t deal with your bullshit! you’re overreacting! i can’t ever fucking understand why you come at me with bullshit like this! we’re done i’m fuckin done!” he shouted mere inches from her face before getting up abruptly and storming out of the backyard, not a minute later i heard his car start and pull away.

he had broken up with her three times now, i wanted to say something but i felt glued to my seat, before i heard a hiccup come from her

oh no.

“oh matt im so sorry” her knees came up to her chest and a hand made its way to her mouth

“why are you apologizing to me? you didn’t do anything.” i immediately made my way over to her side

“did you hear him? clearly i did”

“no he’s dumb. can i ask what you said for him to do that? and im not saying it’s your fault i just wanna know what triggered him, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want” i rambled out, it’s like i couldn’t stop my words from pouring out to her

“uhm- *hiccup* he brought up something about last week last week and i remembered last friday, uhm he told me he was with you guys. but then nick posted your guy’s friday video and in the video you said that you had filmed the same day you were posting- so there was no way he was with you at all right? was he?”

“no y/n im so sorry he wasn’t. me nick and chris only left the house that day to record. i’m so sorry” i felt like my heart was crumbling and fading away. i couldn’t stand to see her so heartbroken

“oh no matt don’t apologize i should’ve asked you instead of him- god i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to start anything” her waterline suddenly filled and the sight broke me.

she was a much too beautiful person, inside and out, to be crying, especially over such an asshole.

“y/n, i’m gonna tell you something and please don’t get mad at me for not telling you sooner- i promise you i was going to tell you i just haven’t gotten a moment alone with you” i shuddered at the thought of hurting her anymore. but she deserved the truth.

“okay.. what is it matty?”

god that nickname.

“so, couple of weeks ago, we were having that boys night right? and… he kept laughing at his phone and chris asked if he was texting you. but he said no.. and said he was talking to some girl he had met at a party and-“ i stuttered, my hands started to shake under the water, i had suddenly felt so nervous under her gaze, why did i have to be the one to tell her? why do i have to break her heart anymore?

she noticed from the way the water rippled above my hands, she rested her own on top of my shaky ones, moving her thumb in slow circles.

“it’s okay matt. i trust you okay?”

i nodded before starting again, “he said that he was trying to sleep with her.”

she suddenly froze, not that i blame her. the circles she had been making on my hands had ceased, and her face remained the same. but from the way her eyes were i could tell something had clicked inside of her.

“y/n im so sorry you had to find out from me- im so sorry”

“uhm no matt it’s okay.” she let out in the most monotonous voice id ever heard come out of her. she was always so full of life and in this moment i couldn’t help but want to cry for her.

she didn’t deserve to feel any kind of pain. ever. and to know i was the one initiating part of her pain? god i wanted to take it all back. but she deserved to know. it was only right that she knew.

“no im so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that at all”

“matt you don’t have to lie it’s okay” she let out a light scoff

“lie? what do you mean?” why would she accuse me of lying?

she seemed genuinely confused by my question

“saying i deserve better- jessie made it clear that-“

“i don’t give a fuck what jessie told you- you deserve so much better than what he ever showed you. you’re such a beautiful person. you deserve to be loved by someone who truly cares for you and truly loves you, and i know that it sucks, but you won’t find that in jessie. you truly are an amazing person y/n and you deserve the very best”

i had kind of zoned out with my ramble, but i focused back in to meet her powerful gaze, her waterline had suddenly filled with tears again

“oh y/n- im sorry i didn’t mean to overstep”

her arms suddenly wrapped around me, hugging me, half her body on top of mine.

she had pulled away slight to meet my eyes, “you mean it?”

“every word.” god i wish she knew the power she held over me. i wanted her to ruin me-

not the time.

“matt you’re the sweetest- most genuine person i’ve ever met”

she wrapped her self back around me, her head going into my neck.

“y/n i’m always here for you- no matter what okay? text, call, in person, anything okay?”

“okay matt, i’m gonna have to unblock you jessie made me a whole ago” she giggled

“i was wondering why my happy birthday to you didn’t go through” i let out a light laugh. it stung that she has done that but who am i to say anything?

—————

me nick and chris, and im pretty sure nate, had hardly talked to jessie after everything had went town. Chris told me he and nick saw jessie storm out that night and saw me go over to y/n and decided to stay out of it.

it had been weeks since i last saw her in person. We had texted quite regularly but she was struggling to get out of the house, which i understood, and i had wanted to ask if i could come over or something like that but i didn’t want to overstep.

it was 3:42 in the morning, i was mindlessly scrolling on my phone, nick had fallen asleep and i think chris was playing fortnite.

everything had been quiet until my phone started to ring.

y/n.

i immediately picked up

“hey what’s up?”

i heard shuffling before it went silent, and then i heard sniffling.

“hey matt- uhm so you remember when you said i could come to you? for like anything?”

“yeah i do why? what happened?” i sat up in my bed, my blanket falling off of me.

“uhm so - im outside of jessie’s apartment, i just came to grab some of my things and i ubered so i dont have my car and- my phones at 2 percent and i dont wanna risk anything and i was wondering if you could maybe come pick me up? if not it’s okay i can try and-“

“ill get there as fast as i can” i hung up the phone and quickly grabbed some slip on shoes and ran down stairs, making my way out the door and into my car.

jessie’s apartment building wasn’t too far from my, nick, and chris’s house so i got there within five minutes.

i parked on the side of the road and immediately got out of the car and ran to her, she was sitting on the from steps of the building, she stood and i wrapped my arms around her.

she had been crying and seemingly got louder when i had hugged her.

“matt im so sorry”

“don’t be” i pulled away and lifted my hand to slip her hair behind her ear

“let’s get you home pretty girl”

“uhm matt? i’m sorry to ask for more- but do you think i could stay at yours tonight?”

“of course, come on” i led her to my car, hand in hand.

-

once we made it home i gave her some more comfortable clothes to change into, a pair of my sweats and a t-shirt.

we had made our way to my bed, i put on a movie of her choice , she chose ‘10 things i hate about you’

i had seen it before and my heart couldn’t help but swell at her choice because when she made the choice she had said, “since i know you also like this movie”

she knew the things that i liked.

could she get any more perfect?

i glanced over at her, just to check on her, only to meet her eyes.

“oh- i’m sorry” she stuttered out- moving her gaze back to the tv

“i’m gonna start tickling you every time you apologize” my hand krept its way towards her

“wait! no!” she practically screamed before quieting down remembering how late it was

i made contact with her ribs and started jabbing and tickling her .

“matt!” she whisper yelled and giggled and twisted around.

she had shot up at this point, grabbing my hands and tried to get me back, only to fall into me.

my cheeks flushed at the new position we were in, my arms were pinned to the sides of my head, her body had landed on mine and she was now straddling me

she giggled before letting go of my arms and sitting up.

“what you give up?”

god it was a beautiful sight to see her being confident.

in that moment everything in my head crumbled away, and i acted simply on impulse.

my hands moved to her lower back and pulled her down into me. as she fell towards me i quickly slipped one hand to her face and guided it towards my own.

once her lips made contact with mine, i heard her let out a light gasp

she pulled away, a few inches away from my face

“matt?”

my actions had suddenly come crashing down onto me- i panicked and realize what i had done

“oh my god i’m so sorry- i should have asked- i’m so sorry” before i could ramble any further her lips came crashing down again.

oh my god.

her lips moved in a soft rhythm and i couldn’t help but let out a low whimper.

god the power she held over me.

her hands nestled upon my face and she pushed further into me.

holy fuck is this real?

i could feel my dick harden at the thoughts that flooded through my mind. god please don’t be the wrong time.

“matt? are you..?” she glanced down quickly before meeting my eyes again

“yeah.. fuck i’m sorry if it’s not the right time”

she simply smirked before crashing back down into me, when she came down her body shifted in a way that she moved acrossed my length.

my breath hitched against her soft lips, i felt her smile into the kiss before her hips moved back and forth against mine

her movements sent a sort of shockwave throughout my lower stomach.

she pulled away to breath,“do you wanna keep going?” she smiled down at me

“oh god please”

she giggled before halting anything she was thinking , “are you gonna want to switch?”

“like positions?”

she nodded

“can i be honest?”

“of course matty, you know that”

“i have never wanted anybody to ever be on top of me more than i do in this moment”

this time her cheeks flushed.

“unless you wanna switch- because if you do we can and i don’t have a problem with it”

“no- probably a bad time to speak about him but jessie never let me- no matter how badly i wanted to” she smirked down at me before getting up and standing next to the bed.

she took off her shirt and pants before getting back on the bed

“can i try something first?”

“ofcourse matty i trust you”

i stood up, removing my shirt as i did so

“sit up at the headboard baby” i directed her before going to the end of the bed, meeting her halfway.

i scooted up forward towards her. i looked at her eyes to search for any signs she was uncomfortable, i put a hand on each of her knees before slowly spreading her legs apart

i looked to see her eyes had widened in a sort of shocked look

“matt- are you sure?”

“of course i’m sure. you deserve to feel perfect.”

i kissed a trail acrossed her thighs, stopping to kiss freckle next to her belly button

“you deserve nothing less”

i kissed across her tummy, and across her panties, and anywhere i felt necessary.

“you deserve the world”

i kissed her clothed cord, hearing her let out a stuttered breath.

i looked up one last time, just in case, and slipped my finger under her waistband, dragging her panties down her legs and tossing them next to the rest of her clothes

“you wanna take your bra off mama?”

i asked, looking into her eyes before realizing what i had said

“too much?” i had asked out of insecurity

“god no it’s perfect” she grabbed my face and brought me into a kiss, arching her back slightly. i took this as a sign to slip my hands underneath her and fumbled her bra clasp to get it undone. after i successfully undid it, i sat up slightly to pull her bra off of her.

oh my god.

she had the prettiest pair of tits i’d ever seen.

“you’re so beautiful y/n you don’t even realize. you deserve everything and more”

“you’re gonna make me cry matty”

i kissed down to her core

“i can’t stand to see you cry, i felt heartbroken seeing you like that”

i littered a few more kisses acrossed her thighs before licking a stripe through her folds.

she let out a quiet moan as i flicked through her folds

god she was like the embodiment of heaven itself.

i kissed her clit before circling it with my tongue

“oh shit matty…” her breathing started to pick up and i twirled my toungue around her puffy clit

i wrapped my arms about her thighs to have my hands rest on her soft tummy

i had one hand snake down to her clit, making figure eights while my tongue made its way into her entrance

“holy shit matt- god just like that” she had started to grind her hips against my face, hard and slow.

i peered up at her through my lashes, meeting her piercing her gaze.

god was she beautiful. her jack has slightly opened her eyebrows knitted.

but her eyes never left mine, they were open and i wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way.

everything was beginning to be too much, i need some form of release for myself

i slowly start to grind down my own hips,

unintentionally in the same rythym as her.

my fingers fumbled with her clit in the same figure eight pattern i had started with and my toungue made its way through her folds, making its way in and out of her velvet entrance.

from the way i was grinding down my hips i let a whimper slip out.

from the way she moaned louder, im assuming it wasn’t a problem for her.

i decided not to hold back on my own noises because god i was so sensitive.

i shamefully let out whimpers and moans, speeding up my hips unintentionally. my main focus was still on her pleasure

“oh my god matt- fuck fuck fuck i’m so close!”

i let off slightly, keeping my pace on her clit

“cum for me mama make a mess on my face”

“shit shit shit!”

her hips ground doesn faster as i went back to licking through her folds.

i could feel her walls clenching and before i knew it, i was covered in her arousal.

holy fuck. i never thought i would truly experience her.

as she was coming down i kept moving my own hips

“oh shit-“ from the sensitivity i had grown close to my peak.

“fuck fuck fuck!”

i scooted forward slightly to tuck my face into the soft skin of her tummy, my hands fumbled forward, reaching for anything and everything i could get my hands on. i felt her hands grip my own, one interlacing into mine, the other being dragged to her soft breast

“ohhh shit.!”

i quickly felt my peak wash over me, i couldn’t help but pant and whimper pathetically, it was all so rough and i was practically being held by the girl i’ve loved for so long.

as i calmed down and settled my breathing, i looked up to see her smiling down at me.

“my turn to do the work pretty boy”

i gulped and i could feel the heat from my cheeks flushing. i sat up, quickly removing my boxers and sweatpants, throwing the dirtied clothes into my laundry basket.

when i looked back to the bed she was off the the side of it slightly, smirking and waiting to me to get back.

i shuffled my way over, laying against the head board in the middle.

gazing towards her, she pecked my lips as she moved over into my lap.

god from how beautiful her body was, i had already gotten hard again.

she locked her lips onto mine again before grabbing my cock and moving it through her folds before slowly coming down my length

my jaw dropped and i shamefully moaned out

“f-fuck you’re so tight”

“you’re just big matty”

as she adjusted down onto me my eyes fluttered shut

my hands made their way to her hips as she slowly started moving. she sat up, almost completely pulling me out of her, before slamming back down and repeating her actions

“fuuu- holy shit”

i couldn’t even control myself at that point

loud whimpers and moans came out no matter how hard i tried to conceal them

“fuck mama you make me feel so good”

her hips kept going at a relentless pace up and down my length, my hips bucking up to meet her halfway every once in a while.

“i’m so sensitive- i’m already close” my eyes opened to see her face in pure ecstasy.

i can’t get over how pretty she is. how could jessie not see that?

“oh fuck matty- i’m getting close too it’s okay”

i could feel my orgasm building up, i needed more. my hands wrapped around her lower back and i quickly thrusted up into her.

“fuck matty i’m gonna cum”

“shit please”

her silk walls clenched down onto my cock.

“fuck cum with me matty”

my breathing picked up quickly- practically panting as i felt myself cum with her walls clenching down onto me.

she made a mess on my cock as we both came down from our highs together.

when her breathing calmed down she rested her head down ontop of mine

i leaned up go kiss her lips, trailing from her jaw down to the base of her neck.

“you’re so perfect y/n, and if you’ll let me i’ll try my best to prove that to you, every chance i get.”

“of course matty” she smiled that pretty smile at me

as she did so i felt a nervousness creeping over me.

oh the power she held.

[sleepyangelkami]

so sorry you've been having a poor experience recently, i totally get it and i'm hoping to see you back in future, you're my favorite ellie author <3 sending love!

DON'T BE SHY e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 1.1K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - for as long as you've known, you'd always been shy, off put to any social setting. however, it's come the time in your relationship that you have to branch out and meet all the people ellie always talks about, shy or not.

 ☆ WARNINGS - pda, shy!reader, reader obviously has social anxiety though it's not explicitly said, mentions of dadish joel to ellie, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

if ellie had to describe you in one word, she'd have to go with the word 'flower'.

that's what you were. as delicate as they come. you would hum so softly and then turn pink when you'd been caught. you were always very much out of the way, making sure you were never deemed as overstaying your welcome or overstepping in any way really. and ellie on the other hand, she was nothing if not that large piece of grass in everyone's way.

you always told ellie that she was wrong.

she was well loved in jackson, whether or not she was inserting herself places that she did not belong. you didn't mind, in fact, you were right next to her, getting strung along the entire way. yet you never opened your mouth to complain.

because how could you? you'd be a fool to complain about anything while in the arms of ellie williams.

you and ellie's relationship was the most open yet private relationship in the entire town.

everyone knew you were dating, and i mean everyone. and yet, nobody knew anything that went on behind the closed doors of your home. that was partially your fault, always shying away and stating that you liked to keep things private for there was no reason for anyone to be in your business.

ellie would have stood on the tallest building of the entire town and yelled until her lungs went raw how much she loved you dearly, if you'd asked her to.

but she knew those kind of things didn't come easy to you.

when joel met you, he swore you were a mouse in disguise of a human. you stood sort of awkwardly, practically hiding behind ellie in any way that you could, fumbling with your hands and only speaking when it was damn near necessary. and when you did speak, the words came out quiet, sort of hushed.

"so, uh." joel cleared his throat, eyes scanning his own house as if to think of questions to ask you. his eyes landed on the desk that he kept the shotgun hidden in. "do you... work?"

he sounded unlike any parent you've ever heard before. he wasn't the type of parent to grill you, question what you do and how you do it, wonder if you can even do it right. he was simply making conversation.

and though you could see that there was no judgement in his eyes, you still felt yourself practically cowering away. "I garden." you mumble, caught by surprise when he questioned a louder "huh?" not hearing you behind your frail voice.

"she said she gardens." ellie spoke for you, giving joel a sort of look. "what? are you deaf?"

joel could only stare at ellie in bewilderment. there was no way she'd heard you so clearly? he couldn't hear you any more than he heard a flower sway on the grass.

joel soon learned to watch your lips as they move and strain his ears as hard as he could. it took a little getting used to but as he grew more comfortable around you and you doing the same, you too began making changes. you didn't hide behind ellie so much and you spoke at a normal volume. well, as normal as you could.

now, you sat stranded at the tipsy bison.

ellie liked to drink now and again which was why there sat a glass in front of her filled with whiskey. you sat at her side, fumbling with your fingers as she downed the glass without so much as flinching.

you always wondered how on earth she could do that.

you glanced away, soon finding the feeling of her fingers wrapping around yours. your head turned back to her, worry swirling in your eyes. "don't be shy." she spoke, practically cooing in your face. "they're really nice, i promise."

"okay." you breathed out though your nerves didn't calm. you really hoped ellie was right about these people.

"you'll be fine." she mumbled, pressing a kiss to your head. "my brave girl."

ellie had been with you for what felt like forever and yet you'd never had the courage to meet her friends, especially not the infamous dina and jesse that the whole town always fussed about. you were nervous, scared even and when ellie's hand came down on yours, you couldn't help but feel your face inevitably heat up.

the two came in not too long after that. and to your disbelief, they truly were all they were cranked up to be.

jesse joked a lot which made you much more comfortable and dina put him in his place when any joke got a little overboard which only made you feel all the more safe.

however, the feeling of ellie's hand sat on your upper thigh had your face and body feeling all tingly inside. you wondered if the others were judging you, you really hoped they weren't.

you were speaking, ellie's fingers dancing on your thigh making your words come out a little lower. "sorry, didn't catch that last part." dina spoke, her eyes sort of wide. you could tell she was listening and that she truly was interested.

as much as you tried, you couldn't stop the way your eyes flickered towards ellie. "gotta speak up, baby." giving your thigh a little squeeze. "they can't hear you."

you cleared your throat, face pink as you did what you were told, speaking up so they could hear you better.

ellie stayed by your side for the entire thing, fingers dancing around your thigh and hands gently tracing your waist. you knew how much the girl loved physical touch and she knew how much you loved it too. whether or not you were shy, it calmed you. sure, you were worried about pda and people seeing but there was much comfort in the way her hands danced around you, holding you close.

you waited until the two left to go get another drink from the bar before sighing, puffing out all the air from behind your cheeks.

all the nerves finally let loose as you realised it was all going according to plan. they liked you, or so it seemed and nobody had said anything mean. that's all you could have hoped for.

feeling the strain on your head from all your worrying, you found yourself pushing your face into ellie's chest, finally relaxing. "see? everything's fine. you did so good." her fingers moving towards your hair, petting you as if you were an animal.

"they're really nice." you spoke, trying to ignore your hot face from her praise.

"yeah." she nodded. "they are."

you turned your face up at her, giving her the smallest of smiles. her beautiful girl. "you should have let me meet them sooner." you joked.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[charlottecutepie]

☥ Bunny meat (William Afton x fem!reader x Michael Afton)

Summary: He was a likeable middle-aged man who had wonderful children, his dream job and a beautiful wife. He never blamed himself for his own actions, or to be more exact, he never thought about their consequences.

author note: im glad some of you liked the story and left comments, im glad I can share with you this fic, hopefully you’ll like this chapter<3

tags: darkfic, unhealthy relationship, angst, smut with plot, p in v, dubcon, oral sex, rough and gentle sex, daddy kink, blood play, knife play, fear play, hurt/comfort, violence, gore/murders, child abuse, follows fnaf lore, moral and physical abuse, virginity kink, anxiety disorder, age gap, daddy issues, unreliable narrator, hallucinations, hidden pairing, William is sick, psychopathy, unhealthy narcissism

Chapter 3

Chapter 2. Birthday girl

The bright rays of the sun hit your closed eyelids, making you wince and cover yourself with a blanket. But because of the sultry summer heat, you became instantly hot. When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was your own personal open diary. Being half asleep, you forgot that you were writing in it all night. In a panic, you closed it and hid it under the pillow, hoping that mom didn't come into your room.

After you got yourself in order, you went out to the living room, but mom wasn't home. She left a note saying that breakfast was on the table, and she would be back in a few hours. You sighed.

What a nice beginning of your birthday.

…

Mom returned home closer to two o'clock in the afternoon. You noticed how her, all happy and cheerful, was getting out of the purple car with bags.

You knew whose car it was. You didn't like it.

The next hours flew by quickly. Your mom all happy entered house, you rushed into her arms. A million kind words, congratulations, kisses on the forehead. And most importantly — your gift. A minimalistic purple dress, made as if specifically for your figure. It fit you perfectly, hugging your waist and breasts.

Closer to evening, you and your mom were ready. She put on makeup, not too bright, but it was unusual for you to see her with lipstick and mascara. She was wearing her favorite skirt, which she always wore for walks with you when you were little. A light beige jacket complemented her look.

“Okay, now we’ll wait for a taxi.” said woman, approaching you.

The car pulled up a few minutes later while you were standing and discussing the upcoming evening. You and mom got in the back seats and the driver started the car. The whole ride you couldn't leave the thought of where mom got the money for a taxi. And when you got out of the car, your confusion only increased, because she didn’t pay driver as he only smiled goodbye.

It appeared to the eye. The most famous pizzeria in your whole town: “Freddy Fazbear's Pizza”. It looked like an ordinary diner, but you knew why it caused such a stir among children and adults. It was because of those animatronics, which, to tell the truth, caused you strange feelings. These robots were thousands of times taller and bigger than you, and their design always made you shiver. Despite the fact that you spent your entire childhood in this pizzeria, because you had to hide from your father somewhere, you still couldn't get used to their appearance. But the children who came here, apparently, were satisfied with everything.

When you entered the pizzeria, you immediately noticed that… Nothing has changed here. It was strange, because Mr. Afton was always busy with drawings, some projects related to this place. What can you say, he literally lived here, disappearing into his office day and night. The place was filled with people, mostly little kids, who happily jumped around animatronics, trying to somehow talk to them. Most of the tables were occupied, you started looking around the pizzeria in search of an empty seat.

“And here you are!” voice of William Afton called out to you. You jumped in surprise, causing him to grin. “Oh, what happened? Did I really scare you that much?”

“Mr. Afton, good evening!” your mom shook his hand.

“Hello, [your mom’s name].” he looked at her with a smile and, turning around, went to an single table, telling you to follow him. “ I chose this place especially for our dear birthday girl.”

Your cheeks flushed from such attention. You smiled and you sat down at the table. Your mom picked up the menu, but mr. Afton shook his head.

“Excuse me, ladies, but I have reserved today's choice for myself. In honor of your birthday, we offer you the best pizza and drinks of the diner!” he clapped his hands, imitating joy. “You won’t be disappointed.”

With these words, he disappeared from sight, leaving into the crowd of children and adults. You looked at your mom, who was just glowing with an abundance of joy and happiness. She looked so carefree, happy as a child, and you laughed at the thought of who has a birthday here.

Half an hour later, a nice and friendly waitress brought a huge hot cheese pizza with an incredible flavor. Smile didn’t leave your face as the look of this pizza was so good that you noticed the envious look of the children at the near tables.

You and mom started eating. After a while, William joined you both. Sitting down at your table, he waved to the waitress, and she instantly brought you three glasses and a bottle of champagne. This surprised you, but you decided not to show it, continuing to smile.

“You know, this is a children's place and alcohol is not welcome here.” Afton began, pouring champagne into glasses. “but in honor of the coming of age of Y/n, I decided that its possible to break this rule.” he smiled, looking at you.

“Mr. Afton, you are right, such a day should definitely be celebrated!” your mother has already taken a full glass, the same thing was done by the man himself. Both adults looked at you expectantly. You laughed nervously and also took the glass in your hand.

“Happy birthday, Y/n!” exclaimed William and you clinked glasses. It was your first experience with alcohol, bringing a glass to your lips and drinking the liquid from it, you immediately winced at the taste, although the smell was quite tolerable.

You spent the remaining half hour at the same table, talking about absolutely any topic, remembering how you spent your childhood in this pizzeria, and William also talked about his eldest son. You laughed at the stories about Michael, because he was your best friend from school, and he always positioned himself as a cool, dangerous macho in front of you, and in William's stories he was just a silly boy.

Time flew by so fast that you didn't even notice how all the people disappeared. Looking at the clock, you saw that it was already late evening, which means the pizzeria closed its doors to visitors, however, this didn’t alarm either Afton or your mother. They were sitting at the table, having a nice conversation about something, until her phone rang.

“Excuse me for a moment.”

You were left alone with him. All your joy in one moment disappeared somewhere, giving way to anxiety. You began nervously touching the hem of your dress, afraid to start a conversation.

“You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress.” William broke the silence. You looked up at him and smiled sweetly, thanking him. “Yeah… after all, I have a sense of style.” he chucked, taking a sip of champagne.

“Did you buy this dress?”

“This is a gift for your coming of age.” he noticed your confused look and added: “yes, I paid for the taxi too, honey."

Those nicknames again… This stupid pinky blush appears on your cheeks again. All you can do is keep smiling stupidly.

“I really liked this dress, Mr. Afton!”

Your conversation was interrupted by your mother, running up to you with worried look on her face.

“Mr. Afton, please take Y/n home, I am urgently called to work.” then your smile instantly disappeared. You looked at Mom, pleading with her to stay. “Oh, hun, I'm sorry, but it's very urgent. I'll be home early in the morning, don't wait for me and go to bed.” after kissing your forehead one last time, she ran out of the pizzeria.

…

William's car isn't exactly small, but it's not huge either. Anxious thought didn’t leave your head that he drank alcohol and got behind the wheel, you hoped that you would get home safely. In general, ideally you should have been sitting in the back seat, but it was occupied by some things.

“Don't be so nervous, y/n." his voice sounded so calm. “You've known me since childhood, why are you so scared?”

Damn, was your anxiety really that noticeable?

“Sorry, I haven't been myself lately…”

“You’ve always been a little scared girl.” you frowned at such statements, you’re not sure whether he was mocking or showing real emotions. “I feel so sorry for you, such a hard childhood.”

At end, you arrived without incident. His car is parked next to your house. Afton took you to the porch, all this time his piercing gaze didn’t leave you.

“Thanks for the ride.”

“You're welcome, dear, and happy birthday again.”

You went inside, but when you heard his footsteps behind you, you got confused and looked at him in surprise.

“Mr. Afton, is something wrong?” you asked, watching him come into your house, closing the door. “I can wait my mom alone.”

“I see that you’re afraid to be alone.” he smiled. “Do you mind if I keep such a lovely girl company?”

[marwhoa]

request: okay soooo… i was wondering if you could write something abt the reader (gn please) being introverted??? and despite their shyness and quiet disposition, they’re drawn to more outgoing people?? (basically me irl lmao) any character from ouran & tmnt is good!!

🝮 “ high school sweethearts ”

hikaru hitachiin x reader

author’s note: i’m hungry and just realized i wrote this whole thing without putting on my glasses. Originally i was gonna write this for kasanoda then i was like “wait, he’s not so outgoing, he’s shy and easily embarrassed” then i looked at Hikaru and was like “… prankster… that’s outgoing… even though he can be a little.. immature” then i was like waaaaait i’ve read a bit of the manga, and he does change a bit!! so here’s my excuse at getting to write a casual hikaru x reader uwu

word count: 1.6k

The two of you had met during cooking class. He was always surrounded by all kinds of friendly faces, and you wanted to be one of them too! So, when he was assigned your cooking partner, you were secretly over the moon with the chance to hang out with him more one-on-one.

Unfortunately, it kind of seemed like didn’t feel the same. While getting ingredients ready, with everyone else distracted, he seemed to be… very focused on his side of the work instead. This made your lips tighten into a bit of a frown. There wasn’t even a chance to introduce yourself and he already disliked you? Harsh..

“ Y/N, can you hand me the onions? “

Hikaru asked, pointing at the onions you had diced up. Absentmindedly you nodded, handing it off and going to rub your increasingly-teary eyes—what? it was disheartening to fail so early on, don’t judge!

But, you were shocked. For two reasons.

1.) Did he just say your name? He knows your name? How? It wasn’t like you had friends in this class—acquaintances yes, and they knew your name because, well, you were pretty nice. Well liked, just not popular. Kindness gets you that status, I suppose!

2.) He had grabbed your hand before it touched your eyes. A little “ eep “ had escaped you with how fast it happened.

“ Hi… Hitachiin-kun …? “

“ Hikaru’s fine, but Y/N be careful. You didn’t wash off your hands. “

He pointed at the onion and you couldn’t help but connect the dots with fright. That would’ve burned! And been so embarrassing! So obviously you hastily washed your hands as an awkward silence slowly whirled between you both. Alright, so THAT was your first impression… At least you got a chance to fail this time…

You have a heavy sigh, continuing to chop up and dice ingredients, handing it off to him. With your head down, you were missing the smile he gave each time—and also didn’t see how it lessened with each hand-off.

Hikaru, on the other hand, was currently thinking of ways to get you to not be so cold. Classic two-sided misunderstanding! He opted for a casual approach, hoping it would stir something between you both.

“ So, have your chefs ever made this before? “

“ Ratatouille? “

You answered with a bit too excited of a voice, surprising even yourself. He was talking to you, after that? Albeit small talk, but still something!

“ Oh—! Um, well, probably once before. Not sure if I would call it a favorite enough to request it of them, though. Usually I let my chefs decide the menu. ”

Hikaru laughed, pulling a smile from you. You were starting to make more eye contact, and definitely couldn’t have missed how he brightened at that.

“ That’s fair. I send plenty of requests to my chefs—usually asking for soufflé pancakes or to surprise me with something spicy. “

You had began making your sauce, seasoning and sautéing the vegetables.

“ Pft, does your brother enjoy that, too? “

“ Obviously, it’s the twin-sense. “

He teased, sliding a few stray onions into your pan. Now, usually folks at this school detested cooking class the most. I mean, when you have chefs who prepare every meal, a class on cooking becomes all the more annoying and sometimes much too hard—seen with the perfect example by the partners toward the back window. One of them was screaming as the stove practically ignited. Wrong setting or too much oil.

But you? Well, this was pretty fun, and it’s a useful skill to know.

“ Oh right, you do have a twin! I don’t see you two together as much. Did something happen? “

This time, the smile he gave was nearly indecipherable. And by that, I mean you weren’t too sure what you said that made him happy.

“ No, nothing happened. We’re just… I’m becoming independent, you know? Thinking about dying my hair, even. “

——-

That answer had taken you off guard at the time, but now—looking back on it, all the pieces were falling into place.

Today, you were both seniors—and sweethearts— in the academy, counting down the last days together. Being partners in class worked wonders for you both getting closer, and it even led to you attending the Host club—specifically for him, of course.

At first, the other hosts didn’t really know what to think of you. Haruhi not included. If anyone were well-versed in the ways of gender, it would be them. They were actually the one taking weight off your shoulder to explain to the others why you dressed in the uniform you did—and why sometimes you would change. It would either be the pretty girl’s uniform (seldom that, but there were a couple times of outgoing-ness just for personal testing-out) or the cool guy’s uniform. In fact, sometimes you even wore a custom uniform. This caused a few jealous students, some turning to get their own custom uniforms while others tried to have a word with you.

Emphasis on try. It wasn’t like Hikaru played a part in deterring them or anything. If you asked what happened, he would shrug it off. Feign ignorance. But you knew he knew, and he knew you knew he knew!

So, now the hosts are on the same page. Their only issue presently is how often you come ONLY for Hikaru! Don’t you want to, maybe, hang out with another person? Talk? Share tea?

To pour salt into the metaphorical wound, there had been times you came for someone else other than Hikaru, but that alternative was always Haruhi.

They (coughtamakicoughattentionwantercough) were jealous! Hurt! … Hikaru lavished in it though.

Now, it was strange they were jealous. After all, your sessions were usually completely quiet and serene, with a little small talk sprinkled here and there (with Haruhi) or they were you being an avid listener to a talker (Hikaru). Not the most exciting, so…

Anyways, the latter was the situation going on now as you sat in the Host club. Your visits were Hikaru’s favorites for two reasons:

1.) He gets to see you. Huge plus!

2.) It’s like a break. He will do some flirty Host tricks or acts here and there to make you smile or laugh, but he will also hold just casual conversation. It also allows Kaoru a break, but he’ll usually just continue taking folks for fun.

Your head was laying in Hikaru’s lap, a rosy tint upon his cheeks as he talked to you about what plans he was thinking about pursuing come graduation and college.

“ I’m set on fashion—maybe I’ll add a S.T.E.M minor? “

“ Mmm, because you like science and math? “

“ Precisely that. “

He smiled at you fondly, especially so when your hand rose up to rustle through his short brunette locks. After a few minutes passed in mutual quiet, he suddenly straightened up, hands reaching out to ensure you weren’t accidentally thrown off.

“ Right! Y/N, will you help me after the club ends today? “

“ …? With what, Hikaru? “

Y/N yawned and started sitting up. The look settling in his eyes made you snort and simply interlock your fingers together.

“ I have been working on my fashion portfolio and have a few prototypes that would look nicer on a model instead of a mannequin. “

Still holding your hand, Hikaru leaned forward and propped his elbow on his thigh. He winked at the end of his sentence, sending a rosy hue upon your cheeks to match his.

You obliged, of course, and come the chime signifying the club’s closing, you were surprised to see your chauffeur wasn’t waiting for you. You were planning to tell him you would be going with Hikaru when you got out. Confused, you turned to Hikaru who gave you a glance, then a grin, then held out his hand. Kaoru walked past you both snickering, getting into the car (and probably taking the best seat for himself since you were both slowpokes).

“ What? You thought I wouldn’t take care of things myself? I am inviting you myself, it’s only expected that I handle any inconveniences. “

With that, the two of you went to his chauffeur and headed to the Hitachiin home as an impromptu model. There, he would take you to a room equipped with a few maids and dozens of clothes or different styles hung all around.

“ Whoa—Hikaru, I don’t think—“

“ Oh, you won’t have to try them all on. There’s a few I made specifically with your measurements in mind. “

“ How did you get my—“

“ Bella, could you help them into this? “

Hikaru interrupted you, with a nervous pitch. That made you a tad bit suspicious, but you would let it slide when the maid, Bella, led you and two others to the dressing room. You held the article of clothing he handed you, and it was a pair of pants made of such a delicate and nice-feeling silk. A smile snuck upon your features.

Now him saying you wouldn’t try them all on turned out to be a lie. The night would continue with you being handed different items, some swapped with others until the perfect combo was achieved (this seldom happened, he usually nailed it on the first try.)

With each different outfit you stepped out in, shyly presenting yourself, Hikaru would pause as if lost in a trance.

“ Does it look weird? “

“ What do you take me for? I’d never put you in something atrocious. You just make everything work too well. “

He shifted his weight to his hip, staring at you while thinking.

…

Hikaru sighed with a smile, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders.

“ Well, it’s decided. I’ll just have to make new ones. These ones look so perfect on you that you just have to keep them. “

“ WHAT? Hikaru! “

“ You’ll wear one of them on our date this weekend, right? “

A blush flushed your face, and he couldn’t help but need to look away before you saw his expression at that cute display. How can he keep up a little “ flirty bad boy ” face when your eyes twinkle like that?

You muttered a little, “ yes “, nodding as well in case he hadn’t caught it, and he couldn’t help but sweep you up into a hug right then and there.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Ask game for Chase?

The pupper ever!! Also two other people asked for Chase while I was already working on it XD I'm sorry it's taking me literally days to get them all done, I'm having trouble to think properly on what to say for some stuff in these

My first impression - I'm not tanking this. His car is blue and white, he's a cop and HIS NAME IS CHASE. HMMMM WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE, OH I WONDER--

My impression now - He's precious. No, really. A+ for effort in everything he does but he should learn to relax a little more, just a liiiiiiiittle more

Favorite thing about that character - He's always willing to try new things out of his comfort zone and he always gives it his best, plus his loyalty levels are off the charts

Least favorite thing - He's too much of a people pleaser Istg-- Chase, sweetheart, you're supposed to be a figure of authority XD And this will sound like a dumb thing to dislike but I dislike the fact he's a German Shepherd. I think it's too obvious a breed for police dogs and he doesn't LOOK like one at all for me. When I first saw him without his gear, I was like "Wait is he a Belgian Malinois??? Omg please yes that would be cool to not have a German Shepherd as a Police Dog for ONCE" but yeah my dreams were crushed quickly on my first Google Search on him

Favorite line/scene - It's not specifically the line, but mostly the scene: Have you EVER seen Chase refuse a job or go against Ryder???

I know he ended up changing his mind after that talk with Ryder, but IN THIS MOMENT, he stood his ground and said NO. It's even in his body language: His ears are slightly back, his expression is serious like "don't even try arguing with me on this", his tail isn't relaxed, his paw stomping on the floor to make his point. Notice his frown even deepens as the elevator door closes just before it goes down. This is SO IMPORTANT to me you have no idea, especially considering how much of a people pleaser Chase is and how he holds Ryder as the most important person in his life. We know Chase would do anything for Ryder. But at this exact moment? He was decided to NOT do something for Ryder. This is such a powerful, yet overlooked and underrated scene, as well as character development. It encapsulates perfectly how there's so much more to Chase than any of us knew so far.

Favorite interaction that character has with another - Mighty Movie Skase moment #2 (I think? I counted at least 4 big moments) when Chase goes to check on Skye when she was sulking on the back of the Aircraft Carrier. Her problems there are totally out of his league, he literally cannot relate to anything she's currently going or went through in the past- still he tries to show support the only way he can at the moment, by being there for her, by listening to her. He's a keeper, Skye, go for it XD

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Marshall and Zuma. They used to play a lot before, but now...? I'm still at the 8th season and I'm seriously missing those fun and slice of life moments

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - Leonardo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, specifically 2012 series

A headcanon about that character - I think Chase was one of those kind of puppies who just didn't know when to fucking STOP. 24/7 playful baby. Also a natural explorer, always sniffing everything, licking everything, maybe biting, touching, scratching, growling, barking at anything new for a while. Ever curious, always being the puppy to go ahead of the others, "exploring the waters to open the way and make sure it's safe for the others to come after him". On a second note, I've seen one too many people returning adopted puppies for this reason here where I live, because "they're a handful and I wasn't expecting this" 🤦🏽‍♀️

A song that reminds of that character - "Nothing Can Stop Me Now"

An unpopular opinion about that character - Idk why all the hate, even if you're ACAB, it's not like Chase even does a cop job at all XD Have you seen him arresting someone outside from movie verse? If anything, you'd WANT your cops to be like him LMAO

Favorite picture - Y'know how in the first movie Chase was in absolute awe when he saw his new car for the very first time? YEAH, like, he KNOWS Ryder designs and gets them crazy cool stuff, and it doesn't stop him from getting UTTERLY AMAZED every time. Tbh I had the same reaction as them all when I saw that sick af Mustang-looking police cruiser like HOLY SHIT YOU GET THE COOLEST TOYS-- AND YOU GET TO CATAPULT THEM DOWN THE HOT WHEELS RAMP AT TOP SPEED TOO??? Win for life.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 86- WINGS 8

Chapter Summary: After 3 years, Jennie finally dyes her hair for a BTS comeback and films her WINGS 8 Concept video.

Words: 9,000+

Author's Note: Some smol angst regarding Jimin's diet during the BST era. And mentions of anxiety. I apologize in advance :(

I'm going to create a smol chapter when it's around that time for the love yourself videos. I'd like to put my spin on it, not going too much into the crazy theories. I'm hoping to write more of Jen's story for it. And I wonder if I made it obvious who found Jennie for her WINGS video at the end of the chapter. I'll write about all that when it's around 2017 in the story. Some ideas sparked in my head when those videos were released years ago and I kept them in my old documents. I gotta revisit them and check out everything. 

 I had thought of this idea for her concept video and decided to just stick with it and have fun with it instead of stressing about making her fit "perfectly" in this comeback. Supernatural type of shiz. And I did some research on using a Damien quote from the book to add to it. I think it fits quite well imo.

I lost count of how many times I changed Jennie's WINGS song. It's getting ridiculous at this point. But for this, I decided to go a different route. Jennie has said that she wants to be a versatile artist, especially as she looked up to Rihanna as an inspiration for that, singing in different genres. 

I LOVE PVRIS! One of my favorite groups. I'm not too big on their new music and the direction they're going musically these days but am always vibing to their old stuff. I truly miss their old sound tbh.

I decided to choose a song called I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore from PVRIS' latest album, for Jen's song. I really like the vibe as it would showcase her skills on the launchpad and I love the lyrics. I'll probably switch it up a little bit. I wanted her song for WINGS to be blunt and a bit sad. Like literally she is telling people she does not want to do this anymore. She does not want to perform, she does not want to be famous, she wants out, which was how she felt during the situation of her sister's play and getting mobbed by all those people. So, she'll express those negative feelings in the song. And I thought of her changing the lyrics to be more optimistic as the song goes on. Maybe for the chorus. I even thought of the fan chant ARMY would do. She would sing negatively, and they'd respond positively. For instance, when RM sang "I wish I could love myself." for Reflection and ARMY shouted, "WE LOVE YOU!"

So yeah, I think that's it. I'm rambling but I'm not going to overthink it too much when it comes to her song for this album. I had a vision for her WINGS video and I kind of hope it makes sense. So I'm just going to go with the flow :) Happy reading!!

--------

Jennie made it back to America safely and Facetimed the boys to let them know. She was lying on her bed, feeling the jetlag as the boys expressed how much they were already missing her. After speaking to them, she finally had one on one time with Yoongi.

"And thanks again for the cookies. I tried to make them stretch but it was too good," he said. "Now I have to impatiently wait for you to return to make me some more,"

She giggled at that. "Sounds like a plan. I'm happy the mixtape is being well received,"

"Me too. So many streams on SoundCloud. Thank you again for your help,"

"Always. I knew it would do well,"

Once July 31/August 1 hit, How's This was finally released and Jennie got to watch the two Music Videos as well as the jacket shooting. She and Hyuna looked fun and the visuals were astounding. Now, of course, there were those kinds of fans that would complain that Jennie was acting 'too grown'. She already saw tweets about it with fans babying her and saying that she shouldn't act too sexy. But she chose to ignore it and just enjoy what she and Hyuna created.

She thought about the filming as she watched the jacket shooting video.

-------

Dressed in one of many outfits for the video, Jennie and Hyuna awaited instructions while they stood on the set that resembled a club different from the first music video.

"I'm getting more comfortable with this sexy vibe because of you. Doing this with you, I feel at ease. So, I am so stoked to be here with you today," Jennie told her with a smile.

Hyuna looked relieved. "I'm happy. I was a little nervous asking you if you wanted to do this. I sighed out of relief when I got confirmation that this collab was a go,"

When they saw that Cube wanted to film a documentary on this music video, they waved at the camera.

"Today Jennie is with me to film! I am so happy that she is a part of this fun song," Hyuna said, clapping her hands.

"Hi~!" Jennie hugged her from behind, waving to the camera. "We are ready to shoot~!"

"This is going to be fun! Stay tuned!"

Jennie let go of her and cheered, "Fighting!"

"Fighting!" she high fived her.

Jennie was filmed first and they started with shots of her being sexy and having fun inside the club while lip-syncing the song. Walking through the club, she met up with Hyuna who danced along with her. For How's This with the version with Jennie in it, the choreography was different and looked more fluid instead of all the body shaking. In Jen's opinion, this choreography fit better for the song after working on new moves with Hyuna. They performed the choreography in the crowd and then did some twerking shots.

As the crew prepared for the next take, the camera showed Jen and Hyuna talking again.

"How was the first music video shoot?" Jennie asked.

"It was fun! It went well. I kissed one of the guys on camera," Hyuna felt flustered about the mature kiss.

"OOP!" Jen covered her mouth, making her giggle and hold onto her. She turned to the camera and repeated herself, "OOP!"

For another shot, after an outfit change, Hyuna and Jennie danced together behind a background. It reminded them of a honeycomb as they lip-synced.

Before Jen knew it, she was in the area she wanted to film at the most. The DJ booth.

"My happy place. Look at it. I am in love," she pointed over to the DJ booth. "Errbody throw yo hands up, we getting' hot, hot, hot, hotter!" she sang her verse from fire cutely before giggling.

When filming commenced, she approached the DJ and asked if she could take over. Winking at him, she placed the headset on and began mixing for the party while dancing around. The party got more lively once she began to DJ while Hyuna joined her as they lip-synced the chorus.

eottae igeon eottae

eottae chumchuja

Up dwae igeon Up dwae

Up dwae chumchuja

Jen was filmed all over the place for her shots. Hyuna had a lot of shots already from the previous music video and Cube just needed more Jen and then her together with Hyuna. Shots consisted of her lying across a table while lip-syncing, dancing on the table, then filmed against the wall as she flipped her hair and swayed her hips around.

"Is this too much?" Jen giggled as she watched her shots with Hyuna.

'As if looks could kill. Her piercing gaze against the screen flusters Jennie'

"Oh no, I bit my lip," she laughed. "I didn't even notice. Pure instinct. We look good, though,"

The last shot consisted of a dance battle. Jennie had a group of black dancers with her against Hyuna and her dancers.

----------

Jennie smiled at the memory and was excited to perform it live near award season. After watching the videos, she scrolled through Twitter and saw what was going on. BlackPink had recently debuted and she loved their debut music videos. Although she was still hurt about 2NE1, she loved seeing new groups debut.

But because one of the BlackPink members was also named Jennie, it started some fan wars, which made no sense at all.

'Netizens compare BTS' Jennie to BlackPink's Jennie. Who is better?' read the latest controversial ALLKPOP article.

It didn't sit right with BlackPink and BTS fans as the comment section was filled with mixed reactions. It was drama waiting to explode.

'So we have a Black Jennie and a Korean Jennie'

'There can only be ONE Jennie and I choose BTS' Jennie'

'BP's Jennie is what BTS' Jennie wishes she was'

'Ugh STOP already'

'I think BTS' Jennie is better.'

'BP's Jennie has more charisma. BTS' Jennie still hasn't shown what she is all about. Her part in fire was cute but I wish she did more. I kinda gave up on her as my bias and moved on to Jimin'

'LOL I bet BTS' Jennie is threatened by BP's Jennie'

'BlackPink's Jennie showed more effort and energy in her debut than BTS' Jennie. Just stating facts. I'd take BlackPink's debut over BTS' any day'

'Jennie and Jennie. I love it. I hope they meet'

'Are you serious?!'

'Ew wtf is this article?'

'BlackPink's Jennie is still a rookie. She has a long way to go before getting up to BTS' Jennie's level'

'Can you not? This is disrespectful to both girls. They both are doing great'

'I'm tired of people comparing groups. Just love and support both'

'I hope they become friends'

'Eh...BP's Jennie is better and prettier. She wears better outfits too. BTS' Jennie has been looking rough for a while. She gained a few pounds too. I miss her debut look'

'Who cares? They both flop'

'BlackPink's Jennie ain't even all that.'

'The difference is BlackPink's Jennie knows how to rap. BTS' Jennie's little Full Moon cover wasn't that great. She annoying af'

'BTS' Jennie just doesn't have that IT factor like BP's Jennie does.'

'I like Blackpink's Jennie more'

''Stop pitting women against women. It's disgusting'

'Delete this article. They're both great'

Jennie frowned and rolled her eyes at the name of the article and scrolled past to look at something more positive. It seemed like they were trying to get her to reply and react but she refused. First, they did this with Alex Reid, and now BlackPink's Jennie. It needed to stop. She was not going to be the "mean girl" that the media wanted her to be and make people think that she hated or was jealous of other female idols like Alex and Jennie Kim.

The last thing she was going to do was let the media try to make her think negatively about someone whom she hadn't met. She refused to be sucked into this jealous and petty scenario with BlackPink's Jennie. She was excited about what BlackPink would be doing and wished the best for them.

Suddenly she received a notification from V-Live about Hobi going live and began to watch it.

"Oh, that's right. Bangtan is in Japan for their concerts," she murmured.

"We had our concert, tonight. It didn't feel the same without Munchkin with us. Jennie, if you are watching, I hope you are doing well," Hobi said on camera in his hotel room.

"Doing good, missing you guys," she sighed.

But then something weird happened on the live. The comments started bringing up other members. Fans then began to ask for Jungkook, V, Jimin, and Yoongi.

"No, they didn't..." Jennie looked on in disbelief at the comments.

All Hobi wanted was to spend time with Armies and now this happened. It made her upset and then she watched as he went to Jimin's room and then left abruptly after a few minutes. Jimin was also stunned because it was Hobi's phone on the live so what in the world?

Unable to keep her thoughts to herself, she went to Twitter to tweet about it.

'Are you KIDDING me? Did you REALLY just ask for other members while J-Hope was trying to talk to you? #Jen'

'No, like really the amount of disrespect is completely unacceptable. The hell is wrong with some of y'all? #Jen'

'You got me ALL the way f'ed up! Don't ever do that to Hobi #Jen'

'We take time out of our day to talk to you one on one but you ask for the others? You need to consider our feelings and how bad it makes us feel. #Jen'

Her tweets blew up and spread like wildfire as fans were commenting sorry and tweeted sad emojis. A lot agreed with her tweets while some others began to complain that she was overreacting.

'I know right!? Like how dare them?!'

'Ennie, we're sorry'

'These fans are so disrespectful. Please don't think all ARMY are like this.'

'I am so bothered by them doing that crap.'

'omg shut up,'

'You must be one of them asking for other members if you're telling her to shut up. YOU shut up! Jennie is speaking facts!'

'What are you so extra for? Calm down,'

'Here she goes always sticking her nose in everyone's business. All the way in America. Just stay in America and go away,'

'I cannot believe they did that. Ugh'

'GO OFF SIS! This infuriates me! Hobi don't deserve this'

'I'm so sad...'

'We don't deserve him'

'I cannot believe this. And they call themselves an Army?'

'Yeah...my heart is broken'

'IM SOOOOO MAD!'

'The sweetest sunshine ever and gets treated like this. I want to cry'

Jen then tweeted one final tweet before going on a social media break.

'ARMY, don't apologize to me. Apologize to Hobi...#Jen'

Later that evening after Jimin ended the live that was supposed to be him and Hobi, she facetimed him after he got his phone back.

"Hey, Jennie," J-Hope greeted with a fake smile but she saw right through it.

"Nah uh. Don't do that. Screw them for making you feel like that,"

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," he shook his head. "They just want to see the other members,"

"No. I will worry about it. You're upset and bummed out. I understand. I wish I was there to take you out and treat you to food or something. That was so rude of them and they are so ungrateful. Those aren't real fans. Don't let them get to you, okay? You have real fans who love and appreciate you. Love and respect you. Love and support you," she went on as he listened.

"Hobi, they can call me annoying or whatever for my tweets, I don't care. What just happened was wrong and unfair," she declared. "And if you don't want to be vocal about it, then I will because I refuse to sit here and let people do this to you. You don't deserve that. You should get just as much love and affection as the rest of us. I love and cherish you. Always. Don't ever forget that. I'm going to always have your back,"

Hobi broke out into a huge smile at her words and began to feel better. "Thank you, Jennie. I appreciate you cheering me up,"

--------

While being home, Jen spent the majority of her time in her room which was also her mini studio. Although she wasn't physically there with the group to work on their upcoming album, she still did her part and sent in her vocals and instrumentals.

For the WINGS album, she was going to be more involved in the music. For now, everyone is focused on their solo songs. She was first involved in working on Jungkook's song, Begin. Since she had been home, Jungkook had sent her his vocals and asked if he sounded OK. Every time was better than the last which boosted his confidence as he recorded. Jennie's role in his song was to play the guitar.

With her headphones on her ears, she played the guitar smoothly under his angelic vocals. Begin was about his journey to Seoul and meeting Bangtan. It was beautiful. The lyrics did not mention her but talked more about the rest of the boys. His brothers. Jungkook kept apologizing to her about it and said he had something planned for her in the future. She was not bothered by it at all and understood. If anything, her curiosity towards what he had planned for her rose as she thought about what he was going to do.

After sending the music back to Big Hit, she got confirmation that it was great and continued working on the rest of her assigned songs. Next up was Jimin's song called Lie. She worked on the background vocals and guitar for his song. Out of every solo song by the guys, this one was her favorite and she was so proud of him for his efforts. She couldn't help but smile as she listened to the demo track after putting her recorded guitar chords in it.

Closing her eyes, she began to focus on the emotion of the song and pondered on her background vocals. This song was about lying and the conflict due to lies and temptation. So, she wanted to try to have some emotion and desperation in her vocals to fit the tone. She recorded her light breathy 'yeahs' in the beginning and sang 'Naega malhae' under his voice.

Be smooth like a like a snake

beoseonago sipeunde

Hearing an opening instrumental part after his voice, she hummed but shook her head, stopping the song.

"Nah...maybe it should be better. Humming is too common. I should do something different," she pondered, taking off her headphones.

She spent the next hour working on what would fit during that part. Her notebook with crossed out words and random lyrics was all over her papers as she worked on thinking what would work for his song. She wanted something to pop and to be memorable.

"Ah...woo...woo." she wrote down. 

She began to sing it out several times in diverse ways until she found a tone that fit with the song. 

"I should make it a little haunting when I edit it. A tad bit of autotune or something..."

Putting her headphones back on, she stood by her microphone and pressed record as it played Jimin's song. The first opening notes were clear enough to give listeners one hell of an eargasm. The producers that put the violin and other string instruments were geniuses.

"Yeah," she said in a high, breathy tone while looking at her notebook in her hands.

As soon as Jimin's voice filled her ears, she sang softly under his vocals, "Naege malhae..."

Neoui dalkomhan misoro naege

"Naege malhae..."

soksagideut nae gwitgae malhae

"Yeah. Don't be like a prey, be smooth like a like a snake,"

beoseonago sipeunde

Finding that inner strength in her voice, she belted out, "Ah woo woo~"

naegeseo tteona tteona tteonajwo

naegeseo tteona tteonajwo

"Ah woo woo~"

mworado nareul nareul guhaejwo

nareul guhaejwo

This song was such a bop as she swayed around to the song, focused.

gyesokdwae domangchyeobwado

geojit soge ppajyeoisseo

Caught in a lie!

"I'm drowning, I'm losing myself. I can't disobey, I can't break away..." she sang emotionally under his vocals.

nae useumeul dollyeonwajwo

Caught in a lie!

"This torment gets worse every day."

i gotongeseo heeonal su eobseo

beolbanneun nareul guhaejwo

After recording everything multiple times, she went on to edit and made sure her vocals fit nicely under his. Things were coming together as that bright smile appeared on her face. She was so satisfied with this. She hoped he and the producers like it when they did their final touches.

Her phone buzzed and she sat back in her seat to read a text from Jimin.

Jimin: Ennie, I know you're awake! Don't stress over it too much. Get some sleep, okay? We can work on the song tomorrow.

Jen: Facetime me. I just sent you what I created :D

It didn't take long for them to be on Facetime together as Jimin was thrilled to see her face.

"Ennie! What time is it over there?"

"Late but it's okay," she said and yawned.

"You should really go to bed. You look so sleepy," he looked concerned for her when he noticed her tired eyes.

"I know, I know. I will."

"I miss you," he pouted.

"And I miss you, too. Don't worry, I'll be back in Korea before you know it,"

"Well, I hope it's soon! It's not the same without you here," the 95 Liner shook his head. "The guys...I...we're kind of all over the place without our Bangtan Girl to keep us in order. We're a bit of a mess. It's weird without you. We just want you to come home,"

His words made her heart leap as she felt emotional, yet again. But then the word 'home' struck her. She was already 'home' in America. But the fact that he said 'home' as in living with them in Korea made tears appear in her eyes.

"Jimin..." she smiled sadly. "It won't be much longer, I hope. Being away from you and everyone else in Korea is a struggle. As soon as I come back, I will nap this jetlag off and we can all go out to eat,"

"I would like that very much, Ennie. So, you wanted me to call you?"

"Yes. Check the email. I sent my work for your song. I hope it sounds okay."

"Wait, you finished it?! All of it? Your background vocals and all?"

"Yeah! I just gotta finish up Stigma and the others,"

"You worked on it so quickly."

"Well, you are a priority," she smiled softly, earning an adorable eye smile from him.

Him a priority? That made his heart leap.

"I played around with it and I like how it sounds. Play it. If you like it, I will send it to the producers to see if they give it the OK. And if you want me to change something, let me know."

Opening up the file, Jimin played it for both of them. The look in his eyes when he heard her guitar was priceless.

"Oh-my-God," he blurted out in English, causing her to laugh. "They have to accept this! This is-this is so good! Thank you for doing this for me. I hope this version makes it on the album after they do their final touches. And if they reject it, let us release it on SoundCloud. Army should hear this,"

"Sounds like a plan,"

After shutting down her computer and ending her call, Jen sat on her bed and tuned in to Jin's Eat Jin V-Live on her laptop. There he was with Jungkook and Jimin rambling about various things. And they had her cracking up with their bickering when they playfully fought over snacks.

But once fans brought up Jennie in the comments, her heart ached as she realized how much she missed the guys. Especially Jungkook. She missed his hugs. How he would hold her firmly and gaze down at her with that adorable smile of his. This visa needed to hurry up and go through. She wanted to wrap her arms around her man again.

"How is Jennie?" Jin read the comment. "My sweetie is doing fine. She has been working very hard. Please look forward to her return. Jennie, you are missed dearly,"

She let out a chuckle, "I miss you, too..."

"I miss your baking, too," he added, making her laugh at the screen. "Bake for me when you come back. Just don't tell the others,"

"We're sitting right here, Hyung!" Jimin called out. "Bake for me, not him!"

"Hush!" Jin playfully smacked him while Jungkook laughed. Turning back to the camera like he knew she was watching, he continued. "The dorm doesn't smell that great without your bath and body works items. You know, the ones you always buy for us. Please return soon and get the visa straightened out. I look at your picture in my wallet every day," he showed Armies the photo of him and her back in 2015.

"He still has that picture?" Jen murmured as she smiled.

"Jungkookie misses her the most," Jimin teased, making the Golden Maknae blush and look down shyly.

"Of course, she's my best friend. I bet she misses me more than you two," Jungkook added.

"Lies! I am Jennie's favorite," Jin stated.

Laughing, Jennie went on to text Jungkook.

Jen: Awwww this live is too cute. I miss you guys, more. I'll be back soon. P.S: I miss you the most, Kookie. I love you. Can't wait to hug and kiss you again

Ding!

The sound of bells was heard as Jungkook looked down at his phone. He read her text with a big smile and looked up at the camera like he felt her looking back at him. It made her heart flip and her face warm up with the way he stared at the camera. Meanwhile, Armies were gushing over the loving gaze Jungkook was showing out of nowhere.

'Why tf is he staring so hard like that?! He looks so hot!'

'Omg Jungkook is showing so much boyfriend material right now.'

'That stare! He's making me blush!'

'Jungkook a warning would have been nice!'

"Who was that?" Jin asked.

"Jennie. She's watching the live," Jungkook smiled brightly.

"She texted YOU and not me!?" he complained.

"Hey, that ringtone sounded familiar. Like a bell. Why a bell?" Jimin teased.

"No reason, Hyung. I thought it sounded nice," Jungkook shrugged.

------

The next day, Jennie started to work on her solo song. Bangtan's solos were supposed to go by age. The plan was for her song to be the first but Big Hit switched it and made her song last. The boys had begun filming for their WINGS films while she hadn't yet. A lot of big things will be happening for this comeback. One of them was her hair was finally going to get dyed. She was nervous because everyone had anticipated her having a new hair color since debut and she wanted it to be worth the wait.

With her solo song, she thought the lyrics and instrumentals were fine. But every time she sent it to the producers, they told her something was missing and it frustrated her. How come everyone else's song was fine but her song was getting the most criticism? Her song was different. Experimental even. This wasn't a sound that is usually in BTS. She'd showcase her DJ skills on the launch pad and guitar.

"Do you feel like singing today?" Pdogg asked as she sat on a video call with him and Slow Rabbit.

Jennie furrowed her eyebrows. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because to me, it seems like you don't feel like singing,"

She sighed sharply, trying to not let her annoyance get to her. "I'm doing the best I can,"

"It's missing something, Jennie. It's almost there but something is missing," Slow Rabbit added.

"Look, this is the best I can do," she exclaimed.

"No, it isn't," he shook his head. "I know you can do better to make this song even more enhanced. Shout it out. Scream it,"

"I'm trying to shout it,"

"Well, you aren't shouting it," Pdogg said. "You need to dig down deep and sing out what you're feeling for this song,"

"Here, take a break from working on your song, today. Work on the guitar for 2! 3! and Lost. Send it when you're finished," Slow Rabbit said.

"Fine," she nodded and ended the call. 

She sighed loudly out of annoyance and ran her hair back with her hands.

"Fuck my life..." she complained.

She didn't want to work on anything at this point, she was so bothered by what they told her. After a moment of getting herself together, she did what she was told, playing the guitar for Lost and 2! 3! 

After she sent it in, she was praised for her efforts and had the rest of the day off from working on music. But her song continued to be on her mind. How much better can she do for this song? What else did they want? What was missing? She did want to sing. She sang as passionately as she could.

"What do you want me to do...?" she complained softly.

She went back to the document for her song and stripped all her vocals to start over. She listened to the instrumental of her song and sighed, understanding what she had to do.

'You want me to go back to that dark place...' she thought.

She didn't want to. She didn't want to think about it. She even had second thoughts about picking this song for this album but it was way too late to change now. This song was to express how she felt the day she got mobbed during her sister's play. Sure, it happened last year but that anxiety she felt and the whole experience still traumatized her. All those hate comments, the pressure, the high expectations, and the growing fame, began to overwhelm her as she realized that she was not a normal teenager anymore.

She'd always appear to have a smile on her face but deep down she was scared and in the back of her mind would always wonder when this would all come crashing down. 

That dreaded day of Vienna's play made Jen want to stop performing entirely and just go back home and deal with school, no longer being in the spotlight. To try to grasp what normality she had left. But after the support from everyone after that incident, she wanted to try to face all that negativity and destroy it with positive thoughts once and for all. This would be a start to that. To sing about it and twist it to optimism.

As she sat by her desk, she put her headphones on.

"Okay...let's go back to that nightmare..."

---------

After crying, belting out high notes, and singing out her pain, she made the producers happy with her new and improved vocals and took a break from singing to dance.

Jen continued practicing the choreography for Blood, Sweat, and Tears, which will be BTS' comeback song in October. She was in the living room, performing a demo version of the song while Vienna and Alani were on their phones chilling nearby. Mr. Son and J-Hope sent her videos of where she will be and her choreography for the comeback.

It was...very sexy. This seemed like it was going to be a sexy comeback.

As she worked on perfecting her movements, she sent them recordings of her craft to get feedback.

After dancing for a few hours, she took a break and watched Family Guy with her sisters on the couch.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

A video from Jimin? What was he up to now? Since she left, the boys had sent her funny videos and photos. This was probably one of them.

"Ooo another video? Let's watch it! They crack me up!" Alani said.

"Yeah, why not?" Jennie pressed play while her sisters joined her in to watch.

The video showed Jimin, V, and Jungkook goofing around and practicing BST in the practice room.

"Jungkook! Imagine the floor is Jennie!" Jimin called out.

Out of nowhere, Jungkook did his signature handstand for the song, slowly lowering himself on the floor to grind against it.

"Jennie..." he said in a low voice, smirking at the camera.

"AHHHHHHH~!" her sisters screamed around her while Jen dropped her phone and shrieked.

"He did NOT just do that!" Alani shouted.

"And said your name like that! Are you two-"

"No!" Jen exclaimed, cutting Vienna off with her face flushed.

"You sure!?"

"Yes!"

"I dunno man, that sounded like that's not the first time he said your name like that~!" Alani added.

"Oh my God! Stop!" Jennie covered her face.

Vienna grabbed the phone and replayed it so they could watch the entire video. Her sisters continued to freak out around her from his floor grind.

Jennie was NOT expecting a video like this. She thought it would be meme faces. Not him grinding against the floor.

'Wow, I wish I was under him...' she thought before shaking the dirty thoughts away.

My gosh, what was he doing to her? Everything he was doing made her squirm.

After he finished grinding on the floor, Jin was heard yelling to stay professional while Jimin and V laughed.

Her sisters kept replaying the video, expressing how surprised they were.

"Is this really your boyfriend? Because whew, the duality...girl..." Vienna fanned herself.

"I'm a little nervous about how he can turn into such a cute boy to something like this," Alani added.

"Right? He is so adorable and then he ends up popping out like this. No wonder so many girls swoon over him. Jen, watch out for all them female idols after your man," she teased.

"You know, you were staring kind of hard at the screen," Alani called Jennie out.

"I was not!" Jennie exclaimed as she grabbed her phone.

"She's so flustered," Vienna laughed with Alani.

Alani snatched the phone from her hands and ran to their mom who walked out of the kitchen to see what the ruckus was about.

"Mom! Get a load of this!" Alani laughed.

"Stop it! Give it! Mom, it's not what it looks like! Get off me, V!" Jen shouted as Vienna held her down while Alani showed the video.

"Um...what is he doing to my youngest?" their mom asked, wondering what the heck was happening.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! He was just messing around!" Jen said and got let go.

"You think he was? He looked pretty serious," Vienna teased.

He was just joking...right?

Or perhaps he wasn't. Because her head began to go crazy with the way he said her name so low like that. It'll be something that wouldn't be out of her mind for a while as she plotted a way to get him back for making her so flustered in front of her family.

---------

With Jimin and V, they waited for her to reply. Curious as to why she had not responded yet, they looked back at the message and saw that she had read it. The two burst out into laughter.

"Jungkook, I think you killed your girlfriend," Jimin giggled.

"I did?" he asked, surprised. "What happened?"

"She hasn't responded to the video and left us on read this entire time," V laughed.

"I-I didn't make her uncomfortable, did I?" Jungkook asked with worry.

"Nah, don't worry, it's the other way around, Jungkookie! Hehe, you'll see. Just give her a moment to pull herself together. I'm sure she's quite flustered as we speak because of you," Jimin smiled confidently.

-------

Back with Jennie, she continued to pull herself together. This man may just be the death of her. She then thought about the time she and Jungkook performed the coming of age ceremony in the practice room and recorded themselves. Man, those lyrics...

Jen: Jimin wtf!?

Jen: Wtf is he grinding on the floor so hard for!?

Jimin: kekekeke it took you a while to reply. You liked it, didn't you!?

Yes. Yes, she did.

Very much actually. To the point, she wanted to be the floor.

Jen: Okay yes but he needs to calm tf down! He can't be doing stuff like that when I'm not there! I'm suffering here!

Jen: omfg wait don't tell him I said that!

Jimin: Tell Jungkook. Okay. Got it

Jen: Jimin! NO!

"She liked it," Jimin laughed and showed Jungkook the messages.

Jungkook laughed, feeling his cheeks warm up. A large part of him felt relieved that she liked it. 

Maybe they could make it a reality soon.

---------

As the days went by she continued to finish up working on the choreography, and went to Facetime with Jimin. Things were beginning to appear...off about him. And the sad part about it was that she knew.

She knew all too well what was going on.

She didn't want to believe it. She thought that her mind was playing tricks on her but his face was slimming down at a rapid rate and it began to worry her.

"Jimin?" she called out his name softly after he stopped laughing at his story about pranking Hobi.

"Yes, Ennie?"

"Did you eat today?"

Jimin's stomach dropped at her question. Of all days she had to be so observant. He would only eat once a day and tried not to eat a lot to lose as much weight as possible for their next comeback. It was an intense choice and he had already been feeling the side effects such as dizziness and fainting as he tried to work hard on his dancing.

"Yeah, why?" he lied, feeling his heart ache.

He hated lying to her. He knew she would do anything to get him to stop if she had known what he was doing in Korea.

Jennie narrowed her eyes slightly, watching his body language.

'You're lying to me...' she thought sadly.

"I dunno, to me you just look a little smaller in the face," she admitted.

"I'm eating, don't you worry, Ennie," he flashed her an eye smile

"I really hope you are..." she murmured. "Just take care of yourself, please. Promise me that?"

"...I promise."

"Okay...I have to go. I'll talk to you later,"

"A-all right. Bye Ennie,"

"Bye, Chim Chim," she ended the call and exhaled.

"I truly hope you're okay..." she murmured, fearing for the worst.

After her conversation with him, she scrolled on Twitter to check out what Armies had been saying about her while she was away. She was pleased to see how much she was missed.

'I'm so upset Jennie isn't in the ISAC this time because of her visa.'

That made her realize that today was the day everyone would be filming for ISAC. She was bummed she couldn't play volleyball this year. Instead, she would be cheering Bangtan on miles away whenever they sent her videos and photos.

'Whatever team she was supposed to be in volleyball would have won'

'ISAC probably made sure to schedule it when she couldn't attend since they know the other girl idols can't beat her in volleyball. Their loss'

'ISAC knows damn well Jennie will beat every single female idol in volleyball. They just don't want her to shine. They did that for The Boss Is Watching. We didn't forget!'

Snickering at the comment and agreeing, Jennie went on and liked it on BTS' Twitter which quickly got a reaction from fans.

'OMG I KNOW SHE WAS THE ONE THAT LIKED IT!'

'She liked!!'

'Who else would like it from their page? Jennie knows what's up!'

'Ooooo she's watching us'

'Lmaooooo she knows!'

'She soooo petty. The shade!'

'This confirms it!'

-----------

With Jungkook, after filming for the show, he went to visit Namjoon in his studio. He had a lot on his mind regarding his relationship with Jennie. And he felt like Namjoon was the best person to talk to.

"Hyung," Jungkook spoke up.

"Jungkook," he greeted with a smile and gestured for him to come in. "What brings you here?"

"I uh...can I talk to you? I figured you were the best one to talk to about something like this,"

"Yeah, of course. Shut the door and take a seat,"

As soon as Jungkook plopped down on the seat next to him, he sighed. "It's about Jennie,"

"Is everything all right between you two? I know you've been feeling down because of the distance,"

"I'm fine. And yeah, things are great. It's just that...well she...she's just...on my mind a lot lately and I can't stop thinking about her in that way."

Namjoon immediately knew what he meant and nodded. 

So, it was about that time, huh? 

He had a feeling this was going to be happening sooner or later with how touchy he's been with her, lately. And with that floor grinding video, it didn't just look like a simple video to mess with her.

"I had a feeling this was going to happen sooner or later. Have you told her any of this?"

"No, I...I want to but part of me chickens out,"

"You two talk about everything. Why do you think this conversation will be different?"

"I just don't want to turn her off or scare her away, I guess. Or make things awkward if she's not ready like I am,"

"Communication is key and Nini is extremely understanding. You're overthinking it. She loves you and is not going to be scared away that easily. When you feel ready, speak to her about this. And make sure you two are alone for this conversation. Not when the boys are around and acting loud,"

--------

After spinning around in her seat, Jennie played what she had worked on for Taehyung's solo song, Stigma. She helped with the background vocals with jazzy oohs and ahs. She smiled at how his voice sounded. His high note was astonishing to hear and she couldn't wait to hear it live when they go on tour.

For Suga's solo, First Love, she played the guitar for it and noticed the hidden melody of So Far Away which had gotten her emotional.

"Take a break!" a loud voice startled her. Jennie turned her head to see Alani by her door, arms crossed. "You've been on that thing all day. A break won't hurt. The album ain't going nowhere. And you finished everything so just chill for once,"

"Nooooo, I feel like there is still work to be done," Jen complained.

Alani simply rolled her eyes and left.

"Well, that was easy to get her to leave me alone," she murmured.

While she continued working, she suddenly heard music blasting which happened to be Rihanna's Pon De Replay. Before she knew it, Vienna and Alani came in with a large speaker, dancing.

Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replay

Come, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?

"Oh my God..." Jennie covered her face with her hands, laughing softly. "Really?"

"Come on~! Living room, let's go!" Alani said over the music, holding the speaker.

"Rihanna dance party! Take a break! No more album work, today!" Vienna grabbed Jennie and dragged her downstairs with them.

After Alani set the speaker on the floor, she continued to dance around Jennie with Vienna.

"No more thinking about work today. Loosen up and dance with us. It's Rihanna! Come on~!" Alani exclaimed, earning a sigh from her youngest sister. "If you ready to move say,'"

"Yeah, yeah!" Jen sang with a smile.

"One time for your mind say it,"

"Yeah, yeah!" her smile got wider and she joined in to dance with them. "Well, I'm ready for ya, come let me show ya. You want to groove, I'ma show you how to move. Come, come,"

"There you go~!" Vienna cheered.

It was good to take a break and Jen was thankful for her sisters. She did feel overwhelmed with this album dropping in October. There were high expectations and she wanted to make sure she did everything she could to make the songs great with the small role she was given.

Where Have You Been came on as Vienna tried to remember the choreography.

Where have you been?

'Cause I never see you out

Are you hiding from me, yeah?

Somewhere in the crowd

"I learned it in a dance class a while back. Hold on," Vienna began to think as she stood in the middle of her sisters.

Once the beat dropped, she executed the dance break with no errors while her sisters followed her.

"Oh~! I remember! From the music video!" Alani added.

"When Rihanna and the dancers did that pose that looked like an eye? Top tier!" Jen praised.

"Yeah, that was the coolest thing," Vienna beamed.

As songs like What's My Name, Hard, and Umbrella came on, the trio sang their hearts out while bouncing around the living room and on the couch. Once Breakin' Dishes blasted on the speaker, they became excited since it was one of their favorite Rihanna songs.

"I was waiting for this one!" Vienna yelled happily.

"Are we singing it like we usually do?" Jennie asked with anticipation.

"Let's switch it up!" Alani suggested.

"All right, I'll go," Vienna offered.

He been gone since 3:30

"3:30!" Jen shouted.

Been coming home lately at 3:30

"3:30!"

As the chorus came on, the trio danced around, pretending to be angry while shouting out the lyrics.

I'm breakin' dishes up in here, all night

I ain't gon' stop until I see police lights

"I'm still waiting, come through the door. I'm killing time, you know, bleaching your clothes!" Jennie sang the second verse like she was tired of a man's BS. "I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire. And what I'm burning is your attire. I'm getting restless,"

"Uh!" Alani shouted.

"I'm getting tested!"

"Let him know!"

"And I can't believe he's always out every night and never checks in!"

"He cheating?"

"Is he cheating? Man, I don't know. I'm looking 'round for something else to throw!" Jennie grabbed a pillow and threw it.

After spending the next hour partying to Rihanna's songs, Jennie went to plug in her music and pressed shuffle. Fall Out Boy's Irresistible came on which made her smile.

"Hey, didn't you make a cover of this song recently?" Vienna asked.

"Uh huh!" she beamed, thinking about the series of covers she had done and posted on BTS' SoundCloud for ARMY.

"Did Fall Out Boy notice you, yet?"

"Yeah! I met them! They're so cool! I hope we can collaborate, soon!"

---------

With Matt Rife, he continued to search on social media about Jennie, getting to understand who she was and what she did. He even checked out some fan accounts about her and thought she was even cuter than he anticipated. What surprised him the most was that she was taking self-defense classes. Her teacher had posted a recent video of her throwing him over her hip for a quick takedown after grappling him. Matt was astonished by how strong she was.

What a beauty.

He scrolled through the comments as fans geeked out that she was doing fine in America and raved about how strong she was.

'Omg she really did that!'

'I feel bad for the members if they try to mess with her now, lol'

'RIP Jin! She's preparing for their wrestling match!'

'Can she throw me like that on the ground?'

'If she throws me like that, I would say thank you'

'She can punch me in the face anytime!'

'MOM!'

'Wow, she's so strong'

'I love that she's taking self-defense classes. I want to take them now.'

Soon after, he couldn't help himself and wrote a comment too.

'@JJennie_JW you can throw me like that anytime ;)'

And of course, he was told by Armies to back off.

---------

For a while, ARMY began to notice a shift in Jungkook's demeanor. He did not seem as happy as he usually was and his jokes weren't common like they used to be. Sure he'd smile and laugh whenever he was with the members but the truth was that this distance between him and Jennie was difficult to adjust to. It did make him ponder about this being a preview for when he goes off to the military.

Twitter noticed his attitude change and made threads about him being unhappy. Along with that, people were asking about Jennie and her future with BTS because it seemed like she wasn't doing anything or being involved anymore.

'Okay WHERE is Jennie? Thread'

'Guys Jennie has not been active with BTS in a while. She has not been with them for their recent concerts or V-Lives and I am worried something bad happened'

The thread went on to come up with various theories on the matter while armies were quick to put in their two cents.

'I hope she isn't leaving BTS.'

'Yeah, where tf is she? And she hasn't posted anything in a while! That's unusual! BTS stay posting but there is nothing about her these days'

'They talk about her on vlive so that's a good sign things are fine, right?'

'You think she fought with a member or something?'

'Come to think of it, maybe that's why Jungkook has been looking off these days. They may have fought and aren't on speaking terms'

'Like you see the body language of Jungkook lately? They had a bad argument and aren't friends anymore'

'What? What kind of mess is that? That's a dumb theory'

'You guys are dumb. It's her VISA'

'A visa doesn't take that long to go through. She should be back by now'

'Come to think of it, yeah, you may be right. I'm sure things are finished by now and she could come back to Korea'

'I think her visa is taking longer than usual and that's why. Relax,'

'Maybe Big Hit is just letting her spend more time with her family like the perfect company they are!'

'Nah, Big Hit is sabotaging her. She should be back with Bangtan'

'No, they're probably letting her spend more time in America before coming back. They're a great company and allowing her to spend time with her family. Calm down'

'No, they're not a great company! They are ruining her! She needs to get out of there. I hate seeing her inactive'

'All y'all need to just trust that things with Jennie are going to be fine. Stop making everyone anxious about this. Jennie is still with BTS'

Since Jennie still couldn't go back to Korea yet, the staff decided to fly to America to film her Wings 8 video. They rented a big space to make sure they had all they needed for the short film. The company decided to have her video and song be the last ones out of the group. The solo videos were going to begin getting released around September 4th and her video was scheduled for September 19th before they changed plans and made her show up last.

Despite working on the album, Big Hit still wanted her to remain off social media. It had been hard since she wanted to engage with fans and shout out other idol groups for their comebacks like Monsta X and Got7 but she did what she was told.

'Short Film Making Story'

'#Evermore'

With the camera filming her getting ready, she happily waved to it and began to speak.

"Hey, it's your girl Jennie and today I am here to film my Wings short film! And look! My hair is finally dyed! Frickin red! Ahhh~!" she cutely jumped up and down and showed it off before letting the stylist continue their work. "Now y'all can stop asking me every single comeback! I mean look at this! Look! This hair is amazing! I look so good! I'm glad I went through with it. Red looks great on me! Rihanna vibes!"

"She cried," the stylist put her on blast.

'Miss Bangtan Is Put On Blast'

Jennie stared at the stylist, astounded. "I-I didn't cry!"

"Yes, you did. You were like, 'Oh God please let my hair be okay. Please don't let it fall out or get damaged,'" the stylist teased.

"Shut it!"

Jen went over to the set that looked similar to an airport as she wore jeans and a black and white hoodie with a messy bun.

"I have no idea what the guys are doing for their short films," she added. "But since I'm here in America, the staff came here so we can film. Even though I'm having some visa issues, that doesn't mean I'm stopping my bag. We're making this work. I want you to see a different side of me for this comeback. I hope you look forward to it and keep cheering me on,"

She was given a bag to carry as the stylists did the finishing touches to her hair and makeup. 

"I'm supposed to be playing three people today," she announced to the camera with a nervous expression. "My regular self as you see now and then my dark and good personas. Kind of like an angel and a devil on your shoulders. It's going to be cool how the video is going to be created."

"Action!" the director announced.

Jen went on with the role, walking through the airport, clutching her bag. She looked around frantically before rushing into the women's bathroom. 

After recording her walking a couple of times to get all the right angles, she was then filmed in front of a bathroom sink. She placed her palms on it with a troubled facial expression as she stared at herself in the mirror. Before she knew it, she backed away, startled, and began to look confused.

For the scene with her back in the home she was in for the I Need U MV, she did a costume change, wearing a black suit with a black lace bodysuit under it. This time she was playing her evil persona with her hair down.

"I lowkey always wanted to play an evil person. I wonder how long it'll take for me to get into character. My sister helped me practice for the role. I hope she likes my acting and doesn't roast me for it. My acting lessons will pay off too!" she laughed. "I'm supposed to be speaking to myself. It'll be weird speaking to air but in the video, it'll have all three of me in the shot. So, you'll see how it all develops,"

Once she heard action, Jennie leaned her back against the counter and glanced over nonchalantly at her dead ex who was on the floor.

"Welp..." she murmured coldly and turned to where her other self would be leaning over the counter. "Hey. Pull yourself together."

'Jennie channels her inner evil self with charisma'

"Come on, let me take over. I'm tired of this 50/50 fight," she said smugly like she was looking at the good persona of herself.

For the last shot, Jennie sat in the waiting room of the airport, playing some notes from her solo song on the guitar. While she played, someone walked over to her which caused her to stop and acknowledge the person. The camera remained on her, only showing the person's footsteps to keep viewers guessing who had found her.

Once the director announced that the shot was finished, everyone cheered while Jennie happily jumped out of her seat and bowed politely.

"Thank you! Woo! I'm done~! Yay! I can't wait for the video to drop! Look forward to it ARMY!" she waved goodbye to the camera.

-----

Wings 8: Evermore

"I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?" Jennie narrated from Demain before the screen faded in to reveal her feet running through the airport.

It panned up to her back as footsteps and her heavy breathing were heard. She had been running and slowed down the pace to speed walk. There was hardly anyone in the airport as she looked around, clutching her bag tightly with her guitar on her back. She appeared troubled as several thoughts went through her mind like she did something regretful and thought someone was going to find her.

All that was on her mind was that she had to leave. Asap. She could not stay here. Not after what happened.

Finding the women's bathroom, she rushed into it and set her bag and guitar down against the wall. Jen exhaled sharply, and approached a sink, placing her palms on it. Slowly, she looked up to meet her reflection in the mirror.

"You're okay..." she whispered to herself.

She looked fine but on the inside, she felt like hell. Upon looking at herself, she was startled when a woman that looked exactly like her, stared at her from behind. Only not in a bun but with her hair down and black clothing.

This dark figure she stared at smirked softly, which caused Jennie to look confused.

What was going on? Why was she staring at herself wearing different clothes and hair? The dark figure even had the same white butterfly necklace in contrast with the dark clothes.

Jen tilted her head to the side and watched as the figure copied her movements. She then tilted her head to the other side and watched as the figure did the same. Swiftly turning around, she was met with nothing. The woman was gone.

She took a few steps forward. Okay, maybe she was imagining things.

But little did she know, the dark figure was behind her. When Jennie turned around, her face was cupped into the dark figure's hands, and her forehead pressed against hers, ending the shot as the screen went black.

For the next shot, Jennie was back at home where she was in for the I Need U MV. She had on the same white dress from the MV with the messy bun still intact.

She stood against the kitchen counter with her forearms on it. Her face remained emotionless as she thought about what had just happened.

The camera panned over to the feet on the floor that belonged to her ex. To ease her nerves, she tapped her shaky fingers against the glass of water she had in her hands. Her mind began to fog up with negative thoughts about her fate.

Abruptly, the dark persona of hers leaned her back against the counter, crossing her arms. She glanced at the body nonchalantly.

"Welp..." her dark persona spoke coldly. She had no remorse for the man. She turned to Jennie and watched as she was still in a state of shock. "Hey. Pull yourself together..."

A loud sigh was heard as Jennie's good persona stood on the other side, facing the counter. She wore a white suit and her red hair was straightened. A black butterfly necklace was placed around her neck as she stared at the body sympathetically. She placed a hand on Jennie's shoulder.

"Are you all right?" her good persona asked.

"Of course, she is. He got what he deserved," her dark persona answered, earning a frown in return.

"It was an accident,"

"An accident? Please...if he's dead, he deserved it," her dark persona bluntly replied.

"She is not a bad person," her good persona denied and removed her hand from Jennie.

"That's where you're wrong. There's a bit of evil in all of us and you know it," her dark persona turned to Jennie who continued to look forward. A wicked smile crept on her lips. "I bet that felt good...tempting..."

"It was a scary situation she was put in. It didn't feel good at all. She's full of remorse,"

"To you. She's more like me now and soon she will become all of me,"

"She will never become what you are. Not while I'm here,"

"Look around you," the dark persona gestured, briefly looking around. "Look at what happened. This is her true self,"

"This is not her,"

"Yes, it is. She won't be needing you, anymore. Come on, let me take over, I'm tired of this 50/50 fight,"

"She'll atone. I'm not giving up on her," 

"Well, it certainly wasn't you that she channeled to do what she did. You're too soft. Enough was enough."

The good persona ignored her and leaned toward Jennie's ear. "You are still a good person. You defended yourself. It was self defense."

Having enough, the dark persona grabbed Jen by the chin and turned her head slightly, speaking in her ear as she glared at his body. "Look at what you've done. Look at him suffer! He deserved every bit of it! This was what you wanted to do for a very long time. This was building for weeks!" she began to shout angrily. "These men think they can do whatever they want to us, say whatever they want, disrespect us, and hurt us?! No. They did it to the wrong one this time,"

Jennie seemed to have slowly gotten out of her shocked state when she heard a loud groan from the floor.

So he was still alive...

That calmed her nerves a bit as Jennie managed to walk across the counter to stand and look at his weakened state. He faintly called out her name in anger, uttering out curses.

"Huh. So, the piece of shit is still alive," her dark persona said with a scowl as she stood next to Jennie with her arms crossed.

"Good. There's still time," her good persona said, standing on her other side.

"No..." her dark persona turned to Jennie. "You know exactly what to do...end it,"

"No. Don't throw it all away. You're better than this. You are not alone and you know which route to take," her good persona said as the trio looked at the man on the floor.

Back to reality, Jennie had awakened in the waiting area of her flight thanks to her phone notifications going off. She also noticed that it was getting close to her flight arrival and more people were showing up at the airport.

Curious about the messages, she went through them and noticed it was all about whether she was all right which made her tear up. Everyone was asking for her whereabouts. But she had to ignore it and keep moving forward. She needed to leave.

Before she could turn her phone off, the person she wanted to avoid the most began to call. She hesitated to answer as she stared at the caller ID while the camera didn't show who was calling. 

Placing her phone back into her bag, she grabbed her guitar out of the case and began to play the opening notes of her song to distract herself.

The camera panned to the floor to show footsteps approaching her and they stopped near the row she sat at. As Jen stopped playing, the instrumental of her song continued to play in the background.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she let out a breath and acknowledged the hand. She then slowly turned her head to look up in the direction of the individual she predicted to find her as the screen faded to black.

"Looks like you found me..."

[clara02]

The Christmas Sugar Cookie War.

(Aegon Targaryen x reader)

Prologue: It’s the most wonderful time of the year… When you are not at war.

author’s note: hiiiii. The epilogue of the Christmas fic it’s finally here! A few disclaimers before we start:

1. This is a modern au, so things are a little different if compared to the show. Also this Aegon it’s completely headcanon, and not the same as the show. So take that into consideration before starting your read.

2. English is not my first language, and this is the first time I’ve actually written something in English (aside from homework assignments)

3. This is also my first time posting on tumblr, so I’m still getting the hang of it.

(Y/N) hated the Targaryens.

Actually… It is a well-known fact that everyone hates the Targaryen family. The thing is, most people hated them because of their money, their social status, how their empire allowed them to control the city of King’s Landing and their influence reached the entirety of Westeros, granting them impunity. It is an unspoken rule. They are in charge, and no one will ever change that.

(Y/N) however, hated them for totally different reasons. Every year, on Christmas Eve, the city of King’s Landing hosted a Christmas sugar cookie competition, allowing the families in Westeros to bake their original recipes and compete for the mighty trophy. Her own family had dozens of them displayed all throughout the house, and they were very proud of their winning recipe. But their luck changed twenty-one years ago, when the all-powerful Viserys Targaryen married Alicent Hightower. With the merging of the two families’ recipes, they haven’t lost one single competition, leading (Y/N)’s family to second place every year. (Y/N) herself, being a young girl of only twenty years of age, has been deprived of seeing her family in their rightful place.

Sometimes she wondered if the reason behind the marriage between families wasn’t simply to make sure they would win the competition. It was a silly thought, she knew, but Alicent and Viserys weren’t necessarily affectioned with each other and considering how the Targaryens took the competition seriously and how Otto was a man considered ambitious beyond limits, she wouldn’t put past them.

Anyways, the lack of glory, succeeded by the felling of shame and humiliation had started to get to her. Anger sipping through her bones. She was tired of seeing their shit-eating grins after they were announced winners once more. She couldn’t let them win this year. That’s why she needed to prepare for war. She was ready to draw blood.

And that’s exactly what she was telling her best friend, Myra Arryn, while sitting at their favorite café, clutching the cup of coffee so tight, her knuckles turned white.

She heard a breathy laugh:

-That’s what you say every year. – Her friend said. -You always tell yourself you are going to do something about those Targaryen bastards, and every year you do nothing. You just show up and hope for the best.

-I don’t do nothing! – (Y/N) placed one hand at her chest, offended by her friend’s suggestions. – Me and my family work hard for months improving our recipe. We sharp our skills and deliver amazing cookies!

-If you really want to win this, you need to start sharpening knives. – her friend whispered under her breath, acting like this was just some casual advice.

-What do you mean? – (Y/N) said, confused.

-You can’t seriously expect to win this fair and square?! – Myra looked outraged. – Honestly… That’s such a naive thought! You need to start playing dirty. Even if, by some Christmas miracle, you end up baking cookies that are better than the Targaryen ones, who guarantees those cunts won’t bribe the judge?

- They wouldn’t. – (Y/N) eyes big as saucers, shocked at the thought.

- C’mon. You give those fuckers more credit than they deserve. – The Arryn girl said, playing with the straw of her milkshake. – If you really mean war, then you need to start considering all your options. Really mess with them. You know what they say… All is fair in war.

- I thought you Arryn’s were all about honor…

(Y/N) heard her friend scoff at that.

-Don’t bring my father’s weird philosophy into this. That man doesn’t know how to live. – Suddenly her friend’s posture changed. Her spine so straight, it looked like it was about to snap. Her eyes livid, shining with opportunity. – So… Are you really going to do this?!

- Do what? – The girl’s voice sounding squeakier that she would have liked.

- Mess with them? Destroy your competition from the inside out! Give them a taste of their own poison.

It sounded like a bad idea. Listening to Myra always ended up in chaos. (Y/N) should know better by now. She should do what was right and honorable and…

She then remembered Daemon’s comments from last year, mocking her family and suggesting that trying again would be useless. How she heard the conveniently loud whispers coming out of Aemond Targaryen’s mouth, saying that showing up just to fail was simply humiliation.

How her grandmother looked so disappointed. And how her ten-year-old sister, participating for the first time, cried her heart out after the disdain displayed by her “rivals”.

Fuck being nice.

-What do you suggest?

Myra granted her a Cheshire cat smile.

-Choose a weak link and destabilize them. The competition is a group activity. If they’re not in sync, then BOOM, they’re gone.

-Easier said than done. Those guys are good.

Arryn seamed to stop for a moment.

-Go for the obvious one! You know… - She insinuated making a few gestures.

-Viserys doesn’t participate anymore, due to his age and condition. – (Y/N) said and watched as her friend opened her mouth once more. – Don’t even waste your time suggesting the big three. Alicent, Rhaenyra and Daemon might not see eye to eye, but if one thing brings them together it’s the satisfaction of winning. They are a well-put-together front.

Her friend quickly closed her mouth.

A few more seconds passed by, and Myra grabbed her phone opening Instagram.

-What about the Velaryon boys? I heard they are chaos walking. – She quickly showed a picture of Jace, Luke and Joffrey playing baseball in what looked like a backyard.

- Next to Christmas they always travel to visit one of their grandparents. Either that be in Harrenhal or Driftmark. – both girls exchanged glances at the complicated marriages of Rhaenyra. – They don’t actually partake.

- Well… That lives us with fewer options. Aemond is a rock. The guy’s a mystery. No social media profiles and a total of zero close friends. Even if we tried to destabilize the stone-cold bitch, it would be like taking a shot in the dark. – Myra took a dramatic long breath. – We could try Helena.

- It would be hard to get close to her… We don’t share common interests. Besides, she normally just helps with decorations and setting the plates. We would depend on a shit ton of luck. You said yourself. Shooting in the dark will only get us so far.

Starting to lose hope, (Y/N) sunk herself on the cushioned chair. She would probably lose again.

-Wait. – Myra once more sported shinning eyes. – What about him?!

Suddenly (Y/N) found herself staring at Aegon Targaryen’s profile. It was filled with blurry pictures of what looked like frat parties. In the ones she could actually see clearly, the boy sported messy hair, lots of marks on the neck and looked extremely fucked up. His habits weren’t a secret, of course. She went to high school with him. Never once she talked with the boy. Him, also being a year older helped, since they didn’t share any classes. But the number of times he showed up drunk or high to school was no joke. If he had any other last name, he would have been expelled without second chances. But Viserys always cleaned his messes with a good donation.

-This plan is a lost cause. – (Y/N) returned the phone to her friend. -I’ve seen him show up with what looked like the worst hungover and still, they delivered the perfect sugar cookies.

-No! – her friend practically screamed. – He is perfect! Look at this. The fuckboy born in the golden crib. The rich guy that never once took responsibility and now lives the frat style life. This type is so easy to break. Believe me when I tell you. They are touch-starved messes. You can make them fold fast; I have experience with the specimen.

Silence.

-I don’t fully understand what you are suggesting, Myra.

- Well, I’m obviously suggesting you make this guy fall in love with you and then break his heart right before the competition!

(Y/N) started laughing. An incredulous laugh. So high it sounded almost maniac.

It died down when she realized her friend wasn’t laughing with her.

-You can’t be serious?! – Again, her friends face was stoic. – For the Seven’s sake Myra. This is the most absurd thing you have ever said! Aegon?! The frat guy that doesn’t settle down is going to magically fall in love with me?! Guys like him don’t do love. They do one-night stands. Let’s call off the plan.

-Hear me out. This is the perfect opportunity! He will fall in love with you. And guys like him? Once their heart breaks? They don’t bounce back.

-This is the craziest theory I’ve ever heard. – (Y/N) motions to live her seat.

-Have you ever watched a Christmas movie, (Y/N)? Christmas time makes people prone to falling in love. They simply take in the setting and decide they want their lives changed. Every cliché Christmas movie that stars with a bad boy ends up with him changed into a nice guy.

-You are basically building this plan on your Hallmark movie knowledge? Maybe you should tone your pop culture faith down a bit. – (Y/N) says, still not convinced.

-Look. Guys like him?! They are lucky enough if they were hold twice when they were babies. They are touch-starved! They go for easy and fast satisfaction in the form of one-night stands, but they always crave more. All we must do it’s strip him away of the frat house mentality. With your sweet charms and nice words, it won’t be hard. Guys like him fall for girls like you. Besides, as I said, the Christmas environment will be of your advantage. You will have the perfect excuses to lead him into romantic settings without making your intentions obvious.

Myra saw that for the first time since suggesting the plan (Y/N) seemed conflicted.

-With help, this will be like a walk in the park. And I’m not saying your goal is to make him your lifelong sweetheart. You won’t have to fake it for that long. By Christmas Eve you will be done, and his heart will be broken. He will be so helpless, there’s no way he won’t fuck up the recipe.

-How are we going to get help? – (Y/N) asked, her friends enthusiasm getting to her.

-Please… We are not the only two people in King’s Landing that would love to see the Targaryens suffering. Bolton will be up, and with his stalking skills we won’t have problems. And for someone on the inside… I heard Val, the youngest Lannister, is looking for payback.

(Y/N) breathed deeply.

-It seems like we are all set then. – She tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Myra suddenly energetic, standing up and making a toast motion, with her now watery milkshake.

-To Christmas War! Let’s destroy those fuckers!

[daffelreign]

Macbeth commentary. Because I’m bored. And judgmental. (Pt. 4)

(Act IV: ) (We’re off to see the witches, the wonderful witches of OZ--- I mean Scotland)

Act IV (scene 1:)

All I can say about the first part of the scene is that it continually got more and more concerning as the list of ingredients went on. How exactly did they get a Jew’s liver and the finger of a strangled baby??? And why do they just randomly have it?? I feel like questioning the witches is just not a battle I’m ever going to win.

Anyways, Macbeth arrives to question the witches and boy was that the wrong call. They start showing him different aberrations that tell him contradicting things, going as far as to say ‘You’ll die when the forest gets up to kill you’ and now I’m left questioning if they’re just gaslighting him, or if the forest is about to start walking in Act 5. They also mention something we already know, of course--- Macduff will be a problem. But how Macbeth responds was not something I was prepared for at all.

We knew from the beginning that Macbeth was a ruthless warrior when it came to the battle field. Then, after killing Duncan, we realized he has that capability off of the battlefield--- but at least he felt some guilt for it. Now he’s just killing people on a whim, assuming that will fix his problem. Because killing tons of people for some self-perceived notion of an ultimate downfall has always ended well for kings.

Now, I don’t really like the fact that I understand Macbeth’s reasoning. Is there any sympathy towards him? Absolutely not. Do I think he’s making the right choice? Not even close. But, his reasoning does make sense to be. Going after Macduff’s family is a good option for what he wants to achieve, and it’s a very understandable call after what he’s already done these past few acts. I just don’t like it at all, and I know, for certain, that this will not end well. Authors who make understandable, but dislikeable villains have my utmost respect and hate.

At this point, it’s purely insanity doing the talking for Macbeth. He has spiraled past the point of return and there is no stopping him until he’s six feet under. So while it would be neat for the antagonist to show up and kill Macbeth in a grand, dramatic scene, I think it would be a whole lot more interesting if Macbeth was the one that killed himself. I’m sure there'll be a point where he just can’t take it anymore--- one could even argue that he’s already hit that point in his paranoia--- but the real kicker will be how strong his perseverance is, even after the madness takes over. Just something I’m musing about.

FInal thoughts? No change to the murder board--- actually, maybe I should add Macduff’s family, but they’re not exactly main characters. I’m still wondering at what point Lady Macbeth will get fed up with her husband's homicidal tendencies, but I think that point is coming shortly. And, finally, another chapter without mention of Fleance. I don’t think the boy’s coming back. I might have overstated when I said he would be our antagonist. I think he’s alive simply because he needs to be so that Banquo’s part of the prophecy can come true--- so plot convenience for prophecy fulfilling reasons.

Act IV (scene 2:)

I despise how quickly I got attached to Lady Macduff, only for her to die immediately after. I love her personality right off the bat, and I 100% agree with her hatred for her husband. People keep saying he’s an honorable, noble man--- one who you might think was at least a little intelligent. But no, let’s leave my wife and kids at home while I go commit treason. I’m sure that’ll end well.

I adore baby Macduff--- the little boy--- more than I can describe. I love the conversation he has with his mother, and the childish logic shining through. It’s always fun to see an exchange between a child, who thinks they have a good grasp of a situation, and an adult who humors their logic despite it being incorrect. Probably one of my favorite scenes in the whole play, if I’m being honest. It’s a shame they got murdered right after.

Act IV (scene 3:)

Not gonna lie, I was lost for the first half of scene 3. I understood what Macduff and Malcom were saying to each other, but I didn’t really understand why Malcom was being so insistent that he was the worst guy ever?? And then he suddenly turned the tables?? I thought he was gaslighting Macduff just for the heck of it, I did not catch that it was a test to make sure Macduff wasn’t there to kill him (thank you class discussions).

Aside from the initial confusion, my favorite line in the entire scene (possibly the entire play) is “Fit to govern? No, not to live.” which basically means ‘you aren’t fit to govern? No, you aren’t fit to be alive.’ The amount of exasperation in that statement alone is amazing, and the entire speech after it shows just how fed up Macduff has become. And honestly, if I was trying to convince the crowned heir to help for the greater good of an entire kingdom, and he kept trying to gaslight me into thinking he was the worst man in the world, I would get fed up, too.

Ross shows up again just in time to drop the bomb that Macduff’s family was slaughtered. That’s fun. The ‘be a man’ speech returns, this time from Malcolm. I’m starting to think that’s the theme behind the whole play--- being a man, and how that means different things to different people. Needless to say, Macduff is having a bad day.

After going through all 5 stages of grief in less than two minutes, Macduff decides that revenge is the best (and only) option. I would say he’s set up to be our antagonist, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself again. At this point, everyone is Macbeth’s antagonist--- even mother nature. Those horses didn’t eat each other for nothing. That aside, Macduff mentioned something interesting--- he can’t inflict the same pain he feels on Macbeth because Macbeth doesn’t have children. But Macduff’s children weren’t the only thing killed--- his wife was killed as well. And you know what Macbeth has? A wife.

The murder board isn’t going to change, but my predictions behind it will. I think Lady Macbeth will die, but I’m not so sure it will be by Macbeth’s hands anymore. I think it’s far more likely that she’s killed by either Macduff or Malcom during the war, and I’m rooting for Macduff.

Still no Fleance… uh… I don’t think he’s coming back. Unless they decide to drag a child into war, that is. (Wait, how are Banquo's children going to be kings if Malcom is taking over??? Oh, Malcolm is so going back on the murder board) (I think he’ll be killed at war and Fleance will end up as his successor.)

Duncan, Banquo, Lady Macbeth, Malcom (the boy who lived, come to die), Macbeth

[justtelling-shinobuisthebest]

Well, just a little rant of this precious little baby♡

Manga spolers

Her difference

I'm not making rules here, but she is one of the most well-written characters of the show. Literally.

Yeah, I know, I don't need argue in the comments. She doesn't have the most tragic backstory in kny. It's a fact, buut. But, her backstory is great because of how good Gotouge plays with it. In series we have a trop:

Happy family - All dead - Demon slayer Corps.

Wihtin hashiras we have 3 of them, which got through this and now have to be all alone(no family, I mean) Giyu, Muichiro and Shinobu. (There is only they 'cause, Tengen, Obanai never had a loving family, Sanemi by a start of main plot has Genya, Gyomei, Rengoku and Mitsuri have a completely different types of stories) And among this 3, Shinobu is the only one who choosed revenge.

Yup, she didn't completely forget or burry this trauma. No, on the contrary, she developed this trauma into something more. Suicidal thoughts and actions.

That's one the reasons why she's my favorite. Because, they don't say it out loud , but you can guess, her death was a suicide. I know, she didn't do it by her own, but still she prepared and led to it.

Her writing

A little girl, lost in this world, developed into the greatest hashira,boiling of rage and grief.

I adore character with facade. Honestly. So, from the very start her smile had something off to me. And when I got to the climax of her story, I knew she isn't just favorite kny character, she is my everything. The way how step by by step we get into the world of demons-hatered and self-insecurity.

While with demon-hatered everuthing clear. I want to turn your attention to the main problem of her character. Insecurity.

It's crazy how in her first fight with spider-sister she asserts that her shortness is her advantage, but deep down she always wonders why she is like that, what would happened if she might grow taller. I love the fact that this is her last moments. I mean, there already was noone to help her in this situation, and it could end here but...

Do you even relise that the reason why Shinobu stood up was not her own will, but a belief that Kanae believes in her. It's crazy, that earlier moment

Led to the most beautiful and meaningful come back.

Do we still have time? Can I continue?

Her rage. Yup, it's continuation of her writing.

It 's kinda pisses me off that mostly we completely forget this even exists

Like, there's the second reason why I even started this rant. Do I need to say more? Her anger leeding us to a fight with Douma, where she manages to turn the tables, and victory over Muzan, her helping Tamayo.

I adore the way how author from one trop gets completely different emotions. But we have to get to the last point.

Her smile

I know, it may look strange that I need whole paragraph just to say that I love it, but can you blame me?

JUST LOOK AT HER

Being so cute, loveable and gorgeous need to be a crime. Because, I would be able to kill for her.

---------------------------------------

And, just thoughts that didn't knew where to put...

1. The fact, that in Kanae's chiring up monologe, Shinobu thinks of Kanao, making her the last person she ever thought of.

2. I don't know from where people gor that Shinobu still hates Tamayo, because it literally was written in manga, that she respects her.

3. Just want you to recall her last words "Burn in Hell" , that personifies her inner world and anger towards Douma

4. Love how Shinobu and Kanao's relationships changes through chapter. Like, in the last moment Kanao shouts "Master!", and at the end she talks of her using "Sister"

5. I can't even go a day without concluding that her fanbase, at least at Tumblr is one the reason why I still see hope and joyment in this world. Want to thank every Shinobu-lover in the internet, you may be a the reason why I still breath.

Loving Shinobu. Day 3

Don't stay up late. Good night.❤️

[itsmehemma]

I have a request for a Kent Fisher headcanon:

Kent x trans reader!

The reader feeling heavy dysphoria and hating their body to the point they cant look at themselves in the mirror. And Kent comforting them.

I hope you consider my request , thank you!

of course! I haven’t come across much content with a trans! reader, so this is exciting to write!

⋄°∙✧ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐱 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

• I’ll try to keep this as gender neutral as possible !! :)

• Okay, so you’re trans. You’re passing, so people don’t necessarily question your gender. Only close friends and family know.

• You met Kent through a mutual friend, and you both ended up hitting it off, talking, joking, and hanging out.

• You we’re the first one to catch feelings. Kent just made you feel like you could be yourself, and he wouldn’t judge you for it. He made you feel appreciated and loved. Divina picked up on this, and urged you to tell him how you felt. It took a lot of convincing from Divina until you caved in.

• Telling Kent was nerve wrecking, to say the least. He didn’t that you were trans, and you had to explain that before you asked him. Nervously, you met up behind the greenhouse to have a little talk. Kent took it better than what you expected. He was a bit surprised, but didn’t necessarily care. In his eyes you were just you, and he was content with that.

• When you finally asked, Kent said yes with no hesitation. Why wouldn’t he date you? You were an amazing person, always kind and ready to help others. You were incredibly charming and talkative.

• At the start of your relationship, both of you still acted the same as before to one another, with the occasional hand holding or kiss on the back of the hand. You wanted to take it slow, and Kent respected that. Waiting was worth it if he got to be with you.

• As you began to open up to him more, Kent began to notice subtle things about you. You would often wear baggy clothes, and cringed whenever you passed by a mirror. You covered your face with your hands whenever you took a picture, and you often had puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. He knew something was up, and he was going to find out one way or another.

• Kent set up a small operation, where he would bring you small gifts and compliment you every time he saw you. (you were his “beautiful pearl,” as he nicknamed you) He didn’t want to intrude and make you feel pressured to tell him anything, and you didn’t mind the extra attention from your loving boyfriend.

• Kent would eventually find out, having walked in on you crying, your face in your hands, and your mirror covered hastily by a towel. He was taken aback by this, but shut the door and rushed over to comfort you.

• He would gently ask what was wrong, and if he had to go deal with someone for you. When you told him that you felt disgusted with yourself, he refused to believe it. To Kent, you were by far the most attractive and amazing person he had ever met. He literally worshiped the ground you walked on.

• Kent would reassure you that no matter what, you were absolutely, one hundred percent, perfect, no matter what. He would pull you into a warm embrace, and let you cry it out as he gently stroked your hair.

• After that encounter, Kent began to take notice whenever you began to feel uncomfortable. He’d quickly excuse both of you, lead you ti your dorm, shut the door, and put on a movie, allowing you to change into whatever makes you feel comfortable, while getting you your favorite snacks.

• Kent would remind you that you’re amazing, and that he’s willing to take care of you no matter what.

• Honestly, this guy just gives me the feels :,))

• authors note: no matter what, you’re perfect, and no matter what they say, don’t you ever forget it. you are loved, even if you don’t know it or doubt it for whatever reason. you are a wonderful being with a beautiful aura, and you deserve anything good that comes your way. it can take a while for you to realize it, as it did to me. even if no one says it, you are cared for, and you are appreciated in whatever you do. never forget that.🤍

[imjustasimpxd]

Never His | Chapter One

➬ Katsuki Bakugo x Fem reader

Series Masterlist | Chapter Two | General Masterlist | Blog home

Pairing : Katsuki Bakugo x reader

Summary : For as long as he’s known you, Bakugo couldn’t deny the feelings he’s harbored for you, the same feelings he’s kept a secret in fear of rejection. However, the moment he finally manages to gain enough courage to confess to you is the same moment he realizes he’s too late. As he watched you, smiling in the arms of another, he wondered what the right choice was. Should he put up a fight to win you over? Or should he accept the likely fate that you never belonged to him in the first place?

Word count : 1,300 words

Warnings : Mentions of heartbreak, sadness, etc. Pretty much this whole series is going to be full of angst👀

Author’s notes : reblogs are appreciated!! I appreciate all feedback on my writing so that I can know what you guys liked and what you think I should improve on😊

Disclaimer : this is a work of fiction and should in no way, shape, or form, be taken seriously.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Bakugo whispered to himself, fiddling with the singular rose resting in his hand as his body shuffled down the sidewalk.

This was the very last thing he ever saw himself doing…

Bakugo wasn’t exactly a guy you’d describe as romantic, or even affectionate for that matter… but all that seemed to change when it came to you.

No matter how annoyed he was, or even how tired he felt, he would immediately drop everything to go out of his way for you.

Having trouble with your homework? Don’t worry, Katsuki will go over it with you to make sure you understand it, even if it takes a little longer than he’d like.

Having a rough day? Bakugo always likes to make your favorite drink and place it outside your dorm room, quickly slipping away after knocking so you wouldn’t see him as you opened the door.

And even now, as he held that simple flower between his fingers, having woken up early this morning just so he could get it for you before school.

No matter how he was feeling, Bakugo always put you first.

Many people would’ve called him sentimental for it if they knew, but he didn’t care.

However, if someone would’ve told him a week ago that today he was preparing to finally confess his feelings for you, he would’ve immediately blasted them back to whatever mental hospital they came from.

Yet here he was.. staring down that stupid flower that looked just as beautiful as you always did.

To say he was nervous was an understatement, this man was absolutely terrified.

His body trembled at the mere thought of you rejecting him, wincing at the damage his pride would take if you happened to gossip about it afterwards.

He could almost see it now, your lips moving to form the words “I don’t like you like that,” and leaving his heart in a shattered mess.

But… if he was so certain you’d reject him.. then why was he still trying to tell you?

Why was that rose still laying in his hand?

Because no matter how things turned out, no matter how much fear was built up inside him as he thought of finally telling you, he still had to know the truth.

He couldn’t just stand on the sidelines anymore and hope you weren’t interested in anyone else.

You mattered to him, more than he ever let on. And if he wanted to win your heart, if he wanted a shot at being yours, he had to make an effort.

So that’s exactly what he was doing…

He planned on pulling you aside before class and giving you the flower, that way he could start your morning off right. Then came the confession… nothing on earth would ever be enough to fully prepare him for that.

How would he even say it? What words should he use to explain something as serious as that?

He thought about backing out at the last second, about hiding away so he’d never have to face you. But as the school grounds quickly came into his field of vision, he knew he’d have go through with it.

So after a deep breath, he opened the school doors and made his way towards his home room. A soft smile painted across his face as his feet traveled throughout the hallways, placing the flower behind his back while he anticipated to be greeted by your warming presence once he entered the classroom.

However as he turned the corner to his destination, his heart dropped down to his stomach.

There you were, wearing that smile he adored so much, but this time it was followed by something else…

He painfully watched as you threw your arms around Kirishima, giggling like a little kid when he instantly hugged you back.

Bakugo immediately took a step backwards, hiding behind the corner in an effort to not be seen by either of you.

His eyes clenched shut, his head shaking in disbelief at the sight before him. “No, stop. They’re just friends.” He reassured himself, refusing to believe anything was going on between the two of you.

I mean you’re friends after all, it’s normal for you to be hugging, right?

But as his eyes peeked back around the corner again, he found his last hope obliterated with one devastating blow.

It wasn’t until he saw the way your skin turned pink after Kirishima quickly kissed your cheek that he realized the reality of his situation.

Katsuki stood silently against the wall, his heart aching at the view his eyes just subjected him to.

He didn’t want to believe it. Since when were the two of you together? Since when did Kirishima even have feelings for you? And when did he plan on telling Bakugo about it?

Could this really be happening? Were his eyes deceiving him or was his best friend, the person he trusted, really stealing you from him.

Granted you were never his in the first place, but still, Bakugo was trying.

It was shown in the little things he did, the little moments that should’ve added up over time.

Like whenever his gaze would soften every time you came into view. Or when his words became significantly less aggressive every time they were directed towards you.

He may not be the best at knowing how to work with people, and he definitely wasn’t as friendly or talkative as Kirishima was, however that didn’t mean he wasn’t genuinely trying to change.

But even so, as he glanced back around the corner for the last time, seeing the dazzling smiles lining both of your faces as you stared at each other, he knew it was over…

There was nothing more to do except move on, right?

But how could he?

After all the effort he put in, after all nights he stayed up wondering whether you shared the same feelings or not... how could it all be over so easily?

His eyes flooded with tears, his heart aching even more when he remembered the flower still in his hand. The mere sight of it made him want to scream.

Why did he have to wait so long? Why didn’t he say something sooner? But most importantly, why did it have to be Kirishima?

Of all people, why his best friend? The one who’s had his back more times than he could count..

Maybe if he would’ve told Kirishima about his feelings for you sooner, maybe then he could have stopped this from happening, right?

Perhaps that was true, but even if it was, it’s not like he could turn back time.

Maybe the two of you wouldn’t last, maybe you’d break up in a week or two (he certainly hoped so)… but still, for now at least, Bakugo had lost the battle.

So after shoving the tears off his face, he reached his hand towards the trash can and threw the flower into the plastic bin, admitting his defeat.

The flower was so light, barely enough to make a difference once it was gone.. however the weight that seemed to attach itself around Bakugo after throwing it away was in no way weightless.

Dropping it in that plastic bag felt like he was tossing his heart along with it, sending it hurdling off a cliff with no chance of survival.

But this is how things were now, and whether he liked it or not, that was a fact he simply had to accept.

Series Masterlist | Chapter Two | General Masterlist | Blog home

Series Taglist: @thebadbatch @mvteria

This fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

Yes, there is a taglist for this series, so if anyone wants to be added to it please let me know in the comments below.

✨I APPRECIATE ALL COMMENTS, LIKES, AND REBLOGS ON MY WORKS✨

Keep in mind that commenting to tell me what you liked, what you don’t, how I can improve, and any suggestions you have helps me A LOT more than simply liking my posts. If you’ve had the time to read my story, how much longer does it take to leave me some feedback on it? 😊

[dokifluffs]

You’re Safe | Sakusa Kiyoomi

Pairing: Kiyoomi X Reader (female) 

Genre: MAFIA!AU, dad and husbando tehe, fluffy, action? thriller??

Author’s Note: mafia 🤝 protective 🤝 domestic father figure 🤝 SAKUSA

Warnings: k*lling, blood, vivid imagery, LONG, language

gif from @rivaillerose​ 🖤

“Y/N,” a husky voice spoke your name, pulling you from your much needed rest as life of being a new mother had been challenging though so far, it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle

“Y/N, darling.”

You groaned in your sleep, not wanting to wake, to leave the warmth that you were so comfortable laying in

The edge of the bed shifted as a weight sat down beside you, making your body move toward the person

You brought yourself to open your eyes as heavy as they were, your vision clearing to find your husband sat beside you, his mask pulled down to his chin

The room was gloomy and gray though the curtains were open, not a bit of sunlight shining through as he looked down to you with gentle eyes

Despite his softer side with you, he was still the head of the clan - and his appearance matched him as well

He donned a black wool overcoat with the same colored turtleneck and mask

“What is it, Omi?” You asked sleepily as he cupped your cheek with his black gloved hand

His black gloves were always an accessory he had on him, whether he was wearing them or not

He had a thing with germs but he also saw no need to get his hands dirty when his men were always there to do the job for him

You nuzzled your face into his touch, very tempted to fall asleep holding him close but as your mind woke up more and more, you remembered what today was

What he had to do, where he had to go

“I’m leaving soon.. I’ll be back in a few days..” he whispered as he moved a strand of your hair from your face

You wanted to pretend you didn’t hear these words, that he never told you he had to leave or when he did

A part of you wished he left without telling you but an even greater part was so grateful that he woke you

“Do you really have to go again?” You squeezed his gloved hand as you sat yourself up straighter

“You know how my father is... He wants to make sure things are... under control.. I promise I’ll be back in two days.”

The way he spoke, the words fell so effortlessly from those lips, his voice low and cutting through the space yet he spoke at a volume as if he was telling you a great secret

“You said that last time and he kept you with him for a couple weeks...” you thought back to that time

You were seven months pregnant, almost eight, at the time and it was like he fell off the face of the earth

You couldn’t go anywhere or do anything but reside in the manor and you couldn’t even talk to him

You were alone again

“Don’t go...”

the nights in bed alone, the cramps, emotional rollercoasters, motion sickness, nausea

You at least wished he could have called you

The nightmares you had, the worst case scenarios playing in your head until you woke up with tears streaming down your face, only for you to cry yourself silently back to sleep as fear pooled and plagued you from within

He could see the sadness in your eyes and he could remember vividly the mental torture he was put under

No communication to you and all he could at most to see you was through the hidden cameras all connected to his phone  

Even checking in on you had to be done in secret, all to make sure that he was strong enough to continue on the family business even if he had to lose you or be away for unpredictable amounts of time

It was unbearable then and it was still unbearable now

He never asked to grow up into the business of the underworld, let alone take it over from his father at the prime age of 20 four years ago

He never wanted your life to be taken away when you two had already been together when he was recruited

“I’m sorry, darling, but you know I have to,” he sighed. “You know how my father is.” He cupped your cheek and kissed your temple then lips before he stood

“Am I going to lose you?” Your voice broke the silence, breaking through the white sound of the downpour outside

But you had stopped your question early

“Am I going to lose you today? Tomorrow? One day?”

He stood frozen in his place before he could reach for the knob

“No, Y/N. You won’t.” His eyes paused for a bit on you as he thought about his response, the fatigue of being a mother was already showing. “I’ll be able to call you this time and I’m the head now. The only title my father has to me now is father.”

“You won’t.” He stepped back over to you leaned down to kiss you again. “Not today at least…”

“I’ll call you at supper time, darling. Have a good day.”

You did your best to hold onto his hand as long as you could, to remember his touch, his voice, his scent, the way he looked before he walked out those doors

Because some days or nights, you never truly know if you would ever see him again

And it terrified you

The sound of the rain only seemed to get more intense now that he was gone and you were here

But now your day was beginning now that you were awake

You slipped out of the king sized bed, leaving the warmth you had slept in as the soft carpet at your feet, your toes sinking into the fibers

Brushing your teeth, showering in the grand bathroom of the manor, it was a life you surely never expected but here you were

Kiyoomi’s father and his entire family had built their name from nothing to the global known corporation that it was today

You dried your body off, finding what to wear today through the walk in closet and once that was found, it was breakfast

“Good morning, madam, shall I bring you your breakfast to the master suite?” Your right hand maid had greeted you as you stepped out as she carried the laundry with her

“Oh, thank you, Olivia, but I’ll head down to the kitchen after waking D/N,” you smiled to the older maid that had worked for the Sakusa family for decades

All the staff that worked and lived in the estates on the property outside of the manor were trained security, men and women, whose jobs were to protect the main family, to serve them, and to keep others who would pose a threat away and out, even if it meant killing them

But you always tried not to think or wonder about how many people these staff have killed or beat up or anything whenever you interacted with them, especially when they greeted you with a smile

They were there to protect you and to make sure that nothing and no would would ever harm your life

You stepped into the nursery, the wide room decorated with warm lights and stuffed animals, some more than twice the size of your daughter

“Hi,” you smiled so brightly seeing your baby’s eyes already open, looking up to you as she sat in her crib, holding onto her blankie. “Good morning precious,” you lowered the front gate of the crib so you could kneel down to her level

Sakusa sat in the limousine as he watched the scene of you and your daughter in the nursery, wishing he could just turn the car around and to stay home

Things were in balance, he knew this already but his father’s orders were orders he still had to respect

He clicked off his phone, tucking the device into his pocket as he was to be in the car for quite a bit of time before he would get to his father’s

The biggest smile spread on her face as she laughed seeing you, her bubbliness seeming to make all the gloominess disappear

“Let’s get you changed~” you chimed as you lifted the baby girl into your arms, getting a whiff of her heavy diaper and finding an outfit for her day 

“Olivia?” You called into the custom intercom by the nursery’s closet, though there was practically one in every room

“Yes, madam?”

“Sorry for troubling you, but could you actually bring breakfast for D/N and I up to the upstairs loft? You could even send it up the dumbwaiter and that’s fine too.”

“Of course, would you like the usual?”

“Yes please, thank you.”

You carried your little girl toward the upstairs loft, one of your favorite areas of the house since it was significantly smaller - well almost - than the living room downstairs

The loft didn’t extend all the way downstairs like how the ground floor’s living room ceiling extended to the second floor

More than ten thousand square feet of property, more rooms in the manor than you knew what to do with them

Four guest bedrooms with full bathrooms, a grand study and two story “little” library, two main bedrooms in addition to the master bedroom and a nursery

So much space, all sorts of technologies, gadgets and gizmos of all sorts in the house

All the systems in the house was made by the Sakusa corporation to ensure security

This even included your and Kiyoomi’s custom made phones

There was also the basement- all sorts of fun activities to be done: a pool, pool table, living room area that opened up to the backyard with the bar and barbecue, the fire pit

and finally, there was the cellar that was the only place Kiyoomi had requested that you never go - and you never did 

You knew that look in his eye, that tone of voice and you knew he had requested this for your best

And most importantly, there were three safe rooms, all three upstairs with hidden entryways to protect you, official guests, and anyone in the family

Before you knew it, Olivia had made her way upstairs with the breakfast as you played with your daughter in the loft, bouncing her on your lap sat on the wide couch

The loft was brightly lit and open, toys of all types for your daughter to play with as the TV played the morning kids show

As filled as the house was with the special staff and things to do, it still felt so lonely and empty as you sat there

You had tried to chat and converse with them but they never loosened up, always keeping all the formalities but it was never any use

The storm outside seemed to be getting worse as your eyes gazed to the horizon, spotting the trees at the edge of the estate where all their branches had been swaying in the wind, the paler, underside of their leaves revealed

Thunder began to rumble in the distance with the occasional flash of lightning but both unbothered your daughter and you as the two of you remained in the loft  

You watched as she rolled about on a blanket, playing with her stuffed animals and the other interactive toys that played music to keep her entertained while you watched the TV, finding nothing remotely as entertaining to watch

But just before you could change the channel to yet another disappointing channel, your attention was pulled to your phone vibrating beside you, your eyes lighting up as you saw the caller ID

“You seem so bored,” Kiyoomi’s deep voice sounded through the phone but he spoke the truth

You were tired and bored but you didn’t want to sleep - it would only make you unable to sleep later tonight anyways

“I am,” you sighed as you muted the TV. “How far out have you gone?”

“Actually, not too far. Only about half an hour since there was a major accident on the highway so we had to take a detour. But traffic is terrible so we were stuck for quite a bit before we could actually exit,” Sakusa almost groaned thinking about the terrible accident

How he was stuck in a single place for practically twenty minutes

“Wow, do you know what happened?”

“Well there was a…” his voice drowned out in your ears as you could hear something that didn’t sound like rain or thunder - they were too distinctly different

Loud bangs echoed in the distance, bringing your attention elsewhere though all you could look was outside the wall window to the dark skies  

But you couldn’t see anything except the normal background of the property but it was just silent again with the white noise of rain washing down the glass, followed by thunder and a flash of lightning as the storm brewed closer and closer

“I’m sorry what? I missed what you said... I think I heard… something weird..” you spoke as you looked outside the windows that looked to the back of the property

You could hear echoes of movement downstairs, the bustling business of the special staff in the house but it sounded standard... or so you thought

“What did you hear?”

“..I don’t know.. maybe it was the storm and I’m just distracted...” you smiled into the phone as you spoke while your daughter happily crawled to you, laying her head on your legs, her puffy cheeks round as ever

“Well, you two were my only source of entertainment so far this trip,” the corner of his lips curled as he picked off small specks off his suit

“That makes one… of us-“ your thought died out in a matter of seconds

You heard louder, clearer bangs while the staff that had been stationed with you just outside the loft talked over their ear coms to another elsewhere

Before you could continue your sentence or call, the bangs only got louder and your body reacted faster than you could say or think

Clear gunshots began firing at the front entrance, echoing off the high walls and ceilings of the manor while the staff worked on securing the doors and all other entrances and possible ones

“Y/N?” Sakusa could only hear the subtle commotion happening but it was clear you weren’t on the phone. “Shit shit shit..” he stayed on the line as he changed to the security cameras he had access to he used to watch you and your guys’ daughter

Looking through the camera surveillance, he caught a glimpse of you disappearing with your phone in hand while your arms carried your daughter as you disappeared toward the bedroom

“Turn back now,” Kiyoomi howled as his driver did just that, not wasting a single second

You ran into the master suite’s walk in closet that led to the entryway of one of the safe rooms, your baby girl in your arms as she held on to you  her whines already beginning before they would turn into cries

“Shh, it’s okay, baby, mama’s gonna protect you,” you smiled, whispering, your voice already shaky, lips trembling as you pressed a little kiss to the top of her head. “Even if it costs my life, precious.”

You moved, leaving the master suite and stayed low as you walked across the “bridge” that connected the loft to the other half of the house

Peeking down, you could hear groans of agony, puddles and splashes of of blood on the floor and walls, empty bullet shells on the ground, shards of glass and broken windows

“Search the house, find that bitch,” a deep voice yelled through the manor as for the first time since the loud bangs happened, it sounded so still, like any normal rainy day

But this was far from normal

You crawled across the marble flooring toward the library

There wasn’t any safe room here but the safe rooms were sure to be where they would look, whoever they were

They were able to get through the security, it seemed like the staff was dead

You silently stood as they scoured the lower levels - you could hear them and all the destruction they were havocking

The cars outside the window blurred into mere colors that passed as the limousine sped through the roads back towards the manor

To save time, they went toward the back roads — it was just the slightest bit longer but time could be shaved down since there were no cars anywhere

“Step on it!” Sakusa commanded as his men readied themselves. “Call in Unit 0,” he demanded as he kept his eyes on the cameras, trying to find you yet he couldn’t see you in the master suite’s safe room

Unit 0 being one of the few very highly trained professional assassins and killers who were at the disposal of the Sakusa family whenever needed

He scoured through the cameras, not even caring about all the destruction being done, all he needed to see was where you and your daughter were

You carefully entered the library, shutting the door behind you as you walked over the wooden floors carefully

Every step made your palms sweaty but your heart stopped after hearing a loud creak in the old floors

The worst part was that there was no way to lock the doors

outside of the door, you couldn’t hear too much but you could still clearly hear the storm as a great big window stretched from the floor to ceiling so all the lighting in here was natural

There was something about the walls surrounding the library that made it sound proof in a sense

You constantly bounced your baby girl in your arms to keep her calm as you tried to get a look outside as you approached one of the corners toward the window

“Search upstairs,” one of the men demanded as a handful of men ran upstairs. “Find her.”

The scoured through all the rooms, flipping every room apart, destroying things, tearing the curtains off, flipping the beds, wrecking the nursery

You peeked out the window that faced the front of the manor yet all you could see were broken things and to your horror, more lifeless bodies of the manor’s staff

But before you could look out any longer, a large rock was launched at the window, breaking the glass, shattering it

Your baby girl let out a loud cry in fear, making your heart drop

“No, D/N, shhhh, please, it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.” You quickly pulled open the latch to the library’s hidden passage where the door was one of the bookcases

As soon as you closed the bookcase, you heard the door to the library burst open

Several men, guns ready

You scanned your finger print for the room to be safely locked however it wouldn’t let you. All you could do to make sure the room was locked was to see your body to keep the door shut and still

They walked through the wide open doorway to the library scanning the two open floors that was connected by two black steel staircases that wound their way up and down, connecting the two floors

“Shh, please,” you whimpered to your daughter as she cried into your chest as you stayed by the passage’s door so you could look out the peephole

They pulled books off the shelves, throwing them from the second level to the first, knocking the paintings off the walls, ripping them by sliding their knives through the canvas’, kicking them, breaking the frames

The ground shook as you heard a a loud boom, making you jump in your spot, the ground rumbling and shaking below where you sat

It sounded like a bomb went off on the lower level but you assumed it was the cars in the garage since you could hear the repeating alarm sounding off

Your daughters cries began to start back up at the loud noise, as you did your best to shush her

“Shhh, it’s okay,” you whispered to her as you wiped her tears, keeping her face to your chest as you stroked your trembling hand down her back as tears trickled down your cheeks and dripped off your chin

The limousine slid on the gravel outside the manor as Sakusa’s men sprang to action from the vehicle

Kiyoomi stayed in his seat, continuously scouring through the cameras but you were yet to be found

He couldn’t find a single trace of you

His men, as well as unit 0, entered through the blown open entrance, broken shards of glass crunching beneath their steps as they surrounded the estate the best they could, splitting up to eliminate the intruders

“Where are you, Y/N?” His heart hammered in his chest as he desperately tried to find you yet nothing

But before he could look any further, his heart dropped seeing the red system failure message. Whoever these people were, they were impressive, but not fast enough

Kiyoomi now meant business now that he had no access to actually see if you were okay

He ran out of the limousine as gunshots could be heard all throughout the house as half his men made their way to the upper level while the other half wiped out the intruders on the lower level

He followed behind unit 0, making their way upstairs

He clung onto his gun tightly in his hand, finger ready on the trigger as he barged into the master suite, firing two bullets into the chest and head of a large man as he was pillaging the closets

All the precious jewelry he bought for you were now stained in the pool of the filthy blood of the man who had the audacity to enter the premises

His heart almost dropped seeing him in the closet in the first place but it didn’t seem like the man noticed the entrance to the safe room behind the clothes on the hangers

As he pushed the luxurious wardrobe aside opening the door and to his fear, you were nowhere to be seen

More gunshots sounded off, echoing through the halls, sounding off the walls

He couldn’t focus, his thoughts incoherent, unfinished sentences running in his head as he just ran, killing those in his way to find you

A gun war was going off throughout the library as Sakusa’s men fired at the intruders on both levels but they had great firepower too

Both sides hid behind the marble pillars, the different bookshelves and furniture in the room as the rain showered in

Your baby girl cried loudly, her shaken cries sounding off throughout the passage

“No, no, no, please, baby.” Your heart raced as you dared to look out the peephole, only for it to drop as you saw a man you didn’t recognize yell something to another man near him

The man he yelled to fired more shots while the other one approached the passage entrance, banging noises coming through the bookshelf

“She’s in here! Hold them off!” The man yelled

“No, no, no.” Tears welled in your eyes as you did your best to keep the door closed but there was no actual way to since this was just a simple passageway

Your daughter cried loudly in your arms while you gave it your all to keep the door closed

Amongst all the shots being fired, Kiyoomi heard the words the man yelled and then it clicked

He knew where you were

“No.” This one word repeated in his head as he pushed through the front, racing past the bullets being shot towards him as he ran on pure adrenaline

“Boss, no!” His men yelled but this only got the intruders to focus on him, giving them the opening to shoot them all

Kiyoomi shot the man closer to him in the legs before letting his body move on pure killer instinct as he grabbed the man who had fallen to his knees by his jaw, snapping his neck

The other man changed his focus to Kiyoomi as he stood to his feet while the other struggled to pull his gun from his holster

Kiyoomi towered over him as his body moved on his own

He kicked the man to the wall, pressing the barrel of his gun to the man’s chin, pulling the trigger without a second thought

You squeeze your eyes shut, facing the other way from the door, bracing yourself

“I love you. Mama loves you, baby,” you whispered as you cried, a loud rumbling filling your ears as you felt the door being forced open

This was it

You were going to die

Your daughter was doing to die

you let out a blood curtling scream feeling the hands of whoever grab onto you, pulling you, kicking your legs to try to fight 

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Kiyoomi’s familiar voice sounded louder and louder over the rumbling you heard in your ears from clenching and bracing your body and your daughter’s

“It’s me, It’s just me!” He soothed you as he turned you

You couldn’t explain or even begin to describe the relief you felt wash through your body, your heart racing and slowing down at the same time as you broke down, your cries mixing with your daughter’s

“You’re safe, I’m here,” Kiyoomi pulled you into his arms, your body shaking terribly in his arms as you cried into his chest, all the fear you felt flooding your senses

“I know, I’m sorry this happened, but you’re okay. Everything will be okay,” he whispered as he pulled you into his lap, keeping the passage door somewhat closed

You were already put through enough today and he didn’t need you to see the second degree murder crime scene he had committed right outside

“I’m here, I’m here.” He reached up and pulled his mask off as he kissed the top of your head all over, wiping away your tears with his thumbs but you couldn’t stop crying

But that was entirely fine

“But Y/N,” he held your face in his bare hands, his normal gloves off as he stroked his thumb over your cold, damp cheeks

“Why didn’t you go into the safe rooms, darling?” His own voice was unsteady, his lips quivered, eyes teary. “I looked for you and I couldn’t find you and I thought I lost you..” His voice broke off as he gathered himself the best he could, taking deep breaths

Seeing Kiyoomi like this, it broke your heart even more

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what… I was just scared and- and-“ It hurt you so much

Everything about today did

But just this moment was Kiyoomi, it also touched you

He was such a stoic man, usually one to show a softer, affectionate side with you but this was the first time you saw him shed tears

A man who had taken so many lives was now showing his true emotions for the two lives he would give his own live for a hundred times over if it meant you and your daughter was okay

“I know, I know, but you’re safe,” he let out a deep, relieving breath as he hugged your head closer, your body shaking uncontrollably in his arms

“And hey, shhh, it’s okay baby. Papa’s here.” He stroked your daughter’s head as she sort of calmed down as the two of you sat together, doing your best as parents to shoo away her sadness while his men did their best to first and foremost clear the bodies and blood

You absolutely did not need to see that after today

“You two are both safe.” He breathed as he pulled you two impossibly closer, letting the shakiness of his own heart disperse  

“You’re safe…”

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else! 

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[buckybarnesdiaries]

white wolf: “the story of a first date”

first part — second part — third part — fourth part (soon)

© @capsgrantrogers

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Sam helps Bucky to ask you out for a date and it's a disaster, but he gets it.

word count: 3.147 words. (not sorry, it worth it, i promise!!!)

warnings/tags: none. bucky being the cutest gentleman in the whole wide world, and sam keeping an eye on him.

author notes: as it happened with the first part, i'm not really happy with the result but i had so much fun writing it and i think that that made this writing perfect, so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

The car stopped because of a red light, a moment where Sam took the advantage to turn at his copilot, glancing at Bucky from top to bottom in complete silence. Analyzing him. The soldier tilted his head raising an eyebrow, showing his curiosity about what the hell he was doing.

“What are you gonna wear, uh?” Sam asked then, maintaining a serious gesture on his face.

“Clothes”. Unworriedly, he put back his eyes to the front window.

“You probably look good naked, but that’s not what I’m talking ‘bout”.

“Just… some jeans, a shirt, and a jacket”.

“And shoes, I guess”.

Bucky turned on his seat towards his friend, squinting confused for the interrogatory. “Who cares?”

“About the shoe—”

“About the clothes”.

“Man, it’s a date! Do you wan’her to remember this night as the night Bucky Barnes shown up as a Russian bum?”

“I’m from Brookl—”.

“Yeah, but you look like mother Russia just spat you to the world”.

Sam rolled his eyes as a sigh escaped his mouth. Shaking his head, he took the next corner to the fifth avenue changing the planes they had in mind. A good outfit meant a good date. A good date meant happy soldier. Happy soldier meant no trouble. See the point? So the Falcon would take care of the Winter Soldier today. If only Steve could see them. He’d feel proud, that was for sure. They visited a couple of shops, finally letting Sam take control over the situation and pick the clothes he would wear for you. He had good taste, everybody knew that, and Bucky couldn’t complain about his choices.

Even less when the distinctive black suit dressed his anatomy to perfection. Spinning around in front of the mirror, he felt different. He looked different. He looked good, but not as he’d like. Holding the bucket of flowers once he was ready, Bucky left his apartment straight to the garage under the building. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie. But he had that sensation inside him that made him believe everything would be okay for the first time since he woke up.

The road didn’t take him more than ten minutes, not really worried about the time given that he had planned to arrive a little sooner than accorded. Life seemed like it was smiling at him, finding a parking lot in the same entrance. Landing his blue eyes on the rearview mirror, Bucky took a last view at his reflection, brushing back his hair as he used to do in the forties. He grabbed then the flowers he bought for you and stepped out of the car, trying to remember the advice Sam gave him. Resting his back against the copilot's door, he waited impatiently for you.

“Hey, you”.

His heart stopped for a second, raising his orbs to the man coming closer. Before he could react, the man in question tucked a hand beneath Bucky's jacket. Patting him down.

“What the hell are you doing, Sam?” He questioned irritatedly, slapping his hands and causing him to laugh.

“Just checking you didn't bring the notecards again”.

“Yeah, very funny…”

“Man, look at you! Should be illegal to look this good, uh?” Sam helped him to put on the jacket again, receiving another slap from his friend.

“Don't touch me”. Scowling, he fixed the flowers in his left hand, wanting them to be perfect. “Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Watch you till (Y/N) comes. Lemme take a picture, I feel like a proud father on his son's prom day”.

“You're not m— Get the hell outta here, Sam”.

“Fighting again, kids? Should I call your mama?”

As Bucky heard you scoff, his soul abandoned. His pupils dilated. His legs trembled. And he could swear that everything disappeared around him when he watched you going downstairs, swinging your hips unconsciously sensual, with a black dress fitting you like a glove. If this morning Bucky wanted to marry you, now he wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side. Your makeup was on point, just like your hair, not being too formal but enough to run him out of words.

“Steve is off-duty, so, what 'you gonna do, soldier?” Sam mocked, an instant before noticing how pale Bucky was. He couldn't help but slap the back of his neck to bring him back to reality.

“I, uh… flowers… I bought you…”

“You're not Yoda”. Sam whispered as the other offered you the present.

“C'mon, stop messing with him”. You clicked your tongue, right before you drew an adorable smile on your lips, leaning to kiss Bucky's cheek. “Thank you”.

“You're welcome”. He just answered, responding to your same gesture while opening the door for you.

“Such a gentleman…” His playful murmur made Bucky frown and nudge him, trying to stop him from saying anything else and ruin the occasion.

“I'll bring him back at ten”. You joked palming his chest.

“The point is to not bring him back to me”. Sam cackled, shaking his head and taking a step back.

Once in the car turning on the engine, James joined the road after checking you were good. Never in his life he had driven with so much care as if he was carrying a bomb by his side. He set on the radio, not really knowing how to start a conversation, watching you through the corners of his eyes caressing the flowers over your lap. No one had bought you them before, thinking it was a thing that only happened in movies. But then, you met Bucky. An old-fashioned man, making yourself wonder how he was the same the news used to say he was a cold-blood assassin.

“What have you thought?”

“Uh?”

“About the date”.

“Sam told me about a rest—”.

“Okay, okay, Bucky. Pull over”. You couldn't help but burst into laughter, as his face was pale again thinking you were about to step out and end the date.

“Sorry, did I…?”

You swiveled at him on your seat, kissing your teeth and squinting inevitably. Studying his face you knew how afraid he was, and it was the most adorable reaction ever. You could have kissed at that precise instant, but it'd have been a little awkward.

“Where do you wanna go?”

The question didn't take him by surprise, actually. He was still getting used to doing the things he desired and not what other people asked him to do. The restaurant was a fancy place with a distinguished menu according to what his friend explained to him, but it wasn't the kind of site that he'd normally go, or that represented him.

“When I, uh… came back, I discovered that my favorite burger joint in Brooklyn was still standing”. Bucky told you, facing you after finishing the sentence. “They prepare the best burgers of the whole New York and you can decide what ingredients add, and the bread, and the kind of meat. And it still having the original decoration”.

You reclined on your seat, just staring at him talking with that kind of burning passion about something he loved. Puckering your lips, you nodded your chin. The fact that not only he wanted to take you to a different place, but a place that he used to go to when he was young made butterflies flutter within your belly. Bucky wanted to make you part of his future, but also his past. That made the difference.

“Sounds good to me”.

“Really?” He inquired funnily confused, wrinkling his nose and forehead.

“Really”.

The shine that appeared within his eyes made you place a hand on his cheek to urge him to turn his head and drive again. An innocent gesture that provoked him a lively giggle. If that man knew all the things he caused you, he'd have taken the step months ago.

As the night went on and Bucky was losing his shyness, he talked to you about the good old times. Before HYDRA, before the winter, before the war. When he was a kid with no worries more than keeping Steven safe from the bullies. It was nice to disconnect from the present, from the gazes around the two of you, from the back talks, only enjoying your dinner and your conversation. You talked to Bucky about how was to be raised on a farm, surrounded by open fields and animals, to join the army years later. Without going into details that could make him remember the old bad times, you told him about what you used to do, your missions, and how you were wounded in combat after being shot and fell from a helicopter.

Bucky felt confident enough to compare it with how everything started. Falling from a wagon to the snow. But as soon as his voice became lower, you couldn't help but hold his gloved left hand and intertwine your fingers with his. And you could swear you felt him shaking for a brief moment because of your touch.

“So, what, uh? It was a forties trend to jump into the void?” You tried to joke, wanting to feel relaxed.

“Yeah, seems like”. He mumbled curling up his lips. “Listen… I really want to… open up, and I know it’s easier with you because… y’know, you work doing this”.

“Hold on, Bucky”. You laughed waving your free hand, shaking your chin as you closed your eyes for a second. “That has sounded really bad”.

“Wait, wh— Oh, shit, no, no, no”.

For the first time since you walked into the small restaurant, his laughter was lively, unworriedly, honest.

“Take it easy, just kidding”. You grinned, nailing your elbow on the table to rest your cheek on your palm. “But… this isn’t work. We’re not doing therapy, we’re… knowing each other. And I don’t want to pressure you to talk about something you don’t feel prepared to, okay?”

“I know”.

Bucky couldn’t believe how much you seemed to empathize with him, not judging his acts nor his past, not deciding that the date wasn't a good idea nor running away. He couldn’t believe the less importance you were giving to his arm made of vibranium; usually, people used to freak out, to feel frightened somehow about the things it could do. But you were there, fingers playing with the others as if it was the most common and natural act in the world. And, for you, it was. That was you in all your best. Considerate, smart, patient, lovingly. The rainbow after a stormy life. Everything that Bucky needed in his life to start from scratch and be his better version. A shoulder to lean on and a reason to come back home.

“Was afraid of asking you out”. He confessed after some seconds admiring each other. Any person closer would say you had been dating for a long, long time by the way you had to keep silent and not feel uncomfortable.

“Why?”

“You came from war and made your world a place to live. I’m still stuck there”.

“I have my own red flags”. Clicking your tongue, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, really? Please, surprise me”. Bucky teased you sitting up on his chair, not loosening the gentle grip around your left hand.

“I put the milk before cereals”.

“Oh… Oh, God”. He let out, pretending to be horrified and running a hand on his face. “Goddammit… you’re a monster, ma’am. I don’ think this is going to work”.

“Excuse me?” You chuckled, parting your lips in a breath while leaning over the table to palm his right shoulder. “It wasn’t me who added lettuce to the burger”.

“What? What’s the matter with that, uh?”

“Lettuce kills the savor!”

“Y’know what kills the savor? Ketchup. Today, people use ketchup literally with everything… And that’s disgusting”.

“Okay! Next time, no lettuce, and… no ketchup”.

“That’s a big challenge”. Bucky scoffed tenderly squeezing your hand between his cold fingers.

“I’ll live, Sergeant Barnes”. You narrowed your eyes and crinkled your nose at the same time.

“I was talking about a second date, not about your issue with ketchup”.

“So was I”.

A goofy smirk appeared on Bucky’s face, biting his inner cheek as he assented with his head. Seeing you again, knowing that you wanted it —that you wanted him—, made him trust Dr. Raynor’s words. He was having a second chance to do the right thing. To live and to be.

You wanted to add something else when the clock in his wrist started to beep. Curious, you raised an eyebrow. “We have to leave”.

“Why?”

“Sam told me you work tomorrow at eight, which means you’ll get up at six and a half… maybe seven. While I pay, take you home, all that stuff… I don’ want you to be tired in the morning”.

Bucky would never stop to amaze you, looking up to him in silence to contemplate how he called the bartender and beckoned his free hand to ask for the bill.

“What…? What are you doing?” He chuckled embarrassed, taking his beer to sip.

You cleared your throat when you realized how stupid you should look right now, shaking your head as you freed his cold hand from yours to find unlock your phone as soon as the guy brought the dataphone.

“Hey, no, no. I asked you out, I pay”. Bucky began to fight with you, provoking some laughs on the table as you tried to put your screen above the tpv.

“Well, welcome to the twenty-first century”. You hummed as the operation was confirmed.

“I’ll pay next time”. He declared licking his incisors, prior to his lips.

You wished the ride back home to last forever, not wanting to end the date. But the car reached your neighborhood in a blink of eyes. You couldn't help but sigh barely appreciably for your companion, gazing through the window until double parking in front of your apartment. You turned towards him, hearing the engine shut off. Bucky seemed disappointed like you, not being able to remember when was the last time he had a break, he had fun. The date was nicer than he expected but the idea of not knowing exactly when he was going to see you again was killing him from the inside.

“I'll accompany you”. He declared undoing his seat belt as you did to step out.

You reacted with a delicate smile, holding the bucket of flowers against your abdomen while walking to the front door of the building. That moment was a little uncomfortable, not being sure about how to say goodbye, just looking like two teens in love.

“Thank you for tonight, Bucky”. You uttered without thinking about it. “It's been the best night I've ever had”.

“Next will be better, I promise”.

“That's a big challenge”. You chuckled repeating his words a while ago in the restaurant.

“I'll live”. He nodded convinced, glancing at you bowing down your interest to the red roses between your hands.

How could you tell him that you were dying to be together again? That you wouldn't mind waking up sooner and having breakfast? You bit your inner upper lip, trying to find the correct words to say, without sounding like you were feeling something else to a physical attraction. Bucky was hot as hell, that wasn't up to debate, but he was the kindest and charmingest man you had known. He was sensible and strong at the same time. You both complemented the other like the pieces of a puzzle and you never thought something like that could happen to you. To find your other half and having it so clear you didn't want anyone else.

“I am, uh… free tomorrow”.

His words pushed you out of your thoughts, putting up your attention to a Bucky almost flushing, stroking the back of his head, and having the impression that he could scare you.

“Got a break for lunch, if you want”. You proposed without hesitation.

His eyes sparkled with happiness, holding your left hand with his to bring it to his mouth, placing a fond kiss on the back. Such a gentleman, like Sam said, inducing your cheeks to burn. And then, you saw him doubting about taking another step. You wanted it too to happen, tho, leaning forward to press your lips together. Your eyes snapped closed at that precise instant, not having any rush, tasting each other's and shortening the distance between both of you by his free arm getting wrapped around your waist. The kiss was innocent but passionate. It was warm, intimate, trying to transmit all the chemistry you woke up within the other with only one look, with only one smile. Breaking it —much to your regret— when you needed air to breathe. And even so, Bucky rested his forehead against yours freeing your hand to place it on the right side of his neck.

Neither of the two of you opened your eyes, extending the moment as much as you could. You felt he craved to spend the night with you, and you desired it too, but you also felt that he needed some time to get used to this new world he was living in. It wasn't easy. You thought back to the months after the war, the recovery, the loneliness you forced yourself to be in. You were in Afghanistan for three months. He had been fighting since nineteen forty. And he didn't want to ruin what you were building together.

“I should leave”. Bucky murmured against his wishes.

“See you tomorrow”.

At the moment you opened your eyes to meet the pale blue ones, your whole body felt weak. You saw the brightness in them after letting him know that the second date was going to happen and that it wasn't just a formality before disappearing, wiping out any minimal doubt by kissing him again. The last kiss. A good night, I'll dream with you kiss.

“I'm gonna play this on your wedding day, definitely”.

You screamed because of the unexpected metallic voice coming closer, clinging to Bucky's neck as his heart raced too. Redwing was suspended in the air some steps away from you, being controlled by Sam. Who else is not him, uh?

“I'm starting to think you have separation anxiety”. The soldier growled trying to hit the flying device with his flesh hand, hearing you laughing against his chest.

“Good night, kids”. You chuckled separating from Bucky.

“No kiss for me, soldier?”

“I'm not gonna kiss that thing, Samuel”.

“What about a howl, White wolf? Would be very appro—”.

“White wo—”.

“Please, don't. Don't ask”. Bucky begged you, licking his bottom lip while rubbing the back of his head, clearly ashamed.

“Hope you show me one day what it means…”

“Oh, he will… Just wait till the full moon”.

“Sam!” Bucky and you yelled in unison, you playfully, he annoyed.

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[separatist-apologist]

Golden

I once believed love would be burning red. But it's golden

Summary: To save his people, Lucien Vanserra will marry his most hated enemy.

But to love her? Well, that's another thing entirely

My humble @elucienweek2022 submission

13k words

Chapter 4: It's Golden

Read More: AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

10k words

She could feel his eyes on her. Watching. If she turned her head a little to the left, Elain was certain she would have seen him looking through the window. Lucien was trapped indoors, still pouring over the map she’d helped flesh out. Arina turned her head, floating lazily in the same pool Elain and Vassa were in. She sighed when she realized Elain was not listening to her latest recap of Eris Vanserra’s letter but instead trying to will Lucien to come out to the pool and join them. 

She’d put on a much more revealing swimsuit than usual, a bright orange one that all but showed every inch of her ass and most of her breasts. Elain had it on good authority that orange was Lucien’s favorite color. Not that he’d said so but Elain had begun to watch him since they returned, taking note of the things he said, even if he didn’t say them to her. Lucien was still embroiled in the drama to the east where her sister was being held. She knew her father was trying to bring Nesta back without resorting to war, a first for him.

It was only a matter of time, she suspected. Nesta was the last holdout, the only unmarried daughter. Elain and Feyre had married into royal families which she supposed soothed some of her fathers wounded pride but Cassian was none of those things.

“Hello, Elain.” Arina snapped her fingers in front of Elain’s face, dragging her back to reality. “Are you listening?”

“She’s too busy thinking about the prince,” Vassa teased, sliding from her raft into the cerulean water. It was especially hot with the promise of even warmer weather as they crept closer and closer towards summer. Elain joined Vassa, if only to dodge Arina’s question. 

“Tell us more of King Eris Vanserra, then,” Elain teased. “I don’t think I’ve heard how lovely his eyes are this morning.”

“Or how tall he is,” Vassa added while Arina sat on her raft, crossing one toned leg over the other.

“Tell us again how he uses his mouth—”

“Okay, alright,” Arina snapped. “And what of Jurian and his mouth?”

Vassa laughed. “He’s got it on me every single night–”

“That’s…that’s a lot,” Elain interrupted before they could turn to her and demand reciprocity. She’d never get used to the way they talked or how casual they were. “Should we—”

“Elain!” Lucien’s voice barked from the terrace. He strolled into the sunlight, dressed in his fighting leathers. His sword was strapped against his belt and Elain couldn’t help but think of him as the same man she’d once seen in that war tent scrawling his name begrudgingly on a treaty. “I need you.”

Arina and Vassa immediately dissolved into giggles, splashing water at Elain as she hurried for the steps. "He needs you," they joked from behind her while Lucien ignored them entirely. Elain's cheeks burned with embarrassment. A soft rumble of nausea swept through her chest at the serious look etched in his features. She reached for him to steady herself. She was fine, he was fine, she reminded herself. Still, the old fears still lingered, and it took a moment for the blooming spots of black in her vision to clear away. 

“Is everything alright?” she asked, hating how breathless she sounded. Lucien’s eyes swept over her body, face slackened for a moment. 

“Yeah Lucien!” Vassa’s voice taunted from the pool. “Is everything alright?”

Arina’s delighted laugh seemed to drag him back to reality and Elain, still embarrassed, wrapped her arms around her bare stomach.

“All fine,” he mumbled. “You should change before we go. I’ll ah…I’ll wait outside.”

Elain didn’t know what to make of any of that, of his reluctance, of how strange and stilted he seemed, or even the fact that he looked ready to ride into battle. Some part of her wondered if perhaps he didn’t plan to go back to Velaris and he wanted to say goodbye.. With that in mind, Elain chose a white and silver dress and a beaded cord that would wrap her thick hair off her head while letting the thick curls tumble in a tail down her back. 

Lucien was antsy when she found him, pacing back and forth. He paused for the second time that day. “You look nice. Like a princess,” he added, reaching for her hand as he always did to press a kiss against the skin.

“I am a princess,” she reminded him as they stepped back into the warmth. Lucien’s smile was affection.

“Yes, how could I forget,” he agreed. 

“Where are we going?” Elain frowned when he turned her to the stables. Just one horse was waiting, saddled with light supplies. His horse. No Velaris, then. Lucien helped her up, swinging a toned, exposed leg into the saddle after her while Elain pretended she didn’t like he continued to ride like this. Elain was perfectly capable of sitting on her own horse, had been taught to gallop and trot on her own as a little girl. And yet when he was settled behind her, body nestled between his thighs, arms around her body, Elain found she far preferred this sort of travel, even if it was slower.

“The ruins,” Lucien murmured, his breath warm on her neck. 

“I didn’t know there were ruins nearby,” Elain squeaked. It had been too long since they’d spent any substantial amount of time together. Having returned three weeks earlier, Lucien had immediately retreated into politics and subterfuge, pouring over the map he’d had her finish on the ship. She often saw him and Jurian walking about, heads close together as they spoke, twin images of the serious prince and general she supposed they were. He still came to bed but it was often later than she had the ability to keep her eyes open. She’d jerk awake in the night to find herself wrapped around him before he vanished in the early hours of morning. Within all that, Lucien had taken to waking her with his lips and tongue and hands, settling between her thighs until she realized her pleasurable dreams were really just him unable to help himself. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy it…it was that she missed him.

Lucien, unaware of her thoughts, continued to keep his mouth practically glued to her neck as he continued, “There was an ancient city nearby. If it existed in the forest or the forest came to claim it, I couldn’t say.” “Why are we going?”

Lucien led them out of the city before he responded. “I haven’t seen you in too long,” he finally murmured when there was nothing but the sun beating down on them to witness his words. “And I’ve missed you.”

Elains heart sped up at the admission. “So have I,” she told him, trying to control her breathing. Was three months all it took to turn her from the good, northern daughter she’d been raised to be and his creature? She hadn’t felt an ounce of guilt as she’d told him about each main road, each city and village and town and the ports dotted along the coast. She’d told him what they produced, where wealth was concentrated and in what families. If Lucien wanted to cause problems, he had the information to do it. 

She’d long abandoned her thoughts about whether telling him was wrong. It didn’t matter, not anymore. Not when her father had given her up and then tried to take her back without considering what he’d even done in the first place. No apology, no remorse. It was merely an expectation she would suffer for his war, for his obsession with conquering the continent and making himself High King.

And Graysen…her once great love. She couldn’t forget the rage in his eyes, how furious he’d been when he realized she hadn’t done what he said. He, too, could give her up, could trade her like she was worth nothing but the moment she expressed agency or desire she became the traitor, the problem, the out of control woman who had to be brought to heel violently. She resented that he viewed her as property only, an extension of the things he owned and could give away. 

Lucien kissed her cheek as they began to crest back up a hill. She could see the expanse of woodland in the distance though it was a larger, wooden tower that dominated her line of vision that fascinated her. “What is that?”

“It’s a beacon,” he replied, tilting his head so his red hair spilled over his shoulders. “It hasn’t been used in centuries though we maintain it, just in case. If there ever was an invasion of Naxos, someone would stay behind and light it to warn the other cities. We don’t hold our army here—when we aren’t fighting, soldiers go home.”

“Stay behind?”

Lucien kissed her cheek again, his hand rubbing against her stomach. “Anyone who could stay and defend us would. The rest would take the tunnels out towards the east to Rhodes. It’s our easternmost city. From there we could flee to another continent or to Velaris. It hasn’t happened in living memory,” he added, perhaps sensing her tension. “And you, as princess, would leave with the everyone else. It would be your duty to ensure their safety, just as it would be my mothers.”

“Who stays?”

He shrugged. “A volunteer if we could spare one. They’d have to close the tunnel, hiding it from invaders, and ride out to light the beacon. It’s a suicide mission. It used to be the steward of the city, from what I understand, but…”

But their current steward was so old Elain didn’t think he could get himself in a saddle. 

“It’s not possible,” he added after a moment. “The moment someone steps foot over the border, beacons go up. We’re always well warned and well prepared. It’s why fighting is concentrated to the first fifty miles of land between the border. The north has never gotten any further and they never will. Sleep safe, princess, knowing your home is well defended.”

“Is there a reason you keep calling me princess,” she teased as they approached closer to the forest. She expected him to plunge into the woodland, to take her directly to the ruins that lay within, but Lucien halted a good fifty feet away to slide out of his saddle. He offered her his hand, ever the gentlemen, before pulling her back against his chest, arms around her neck. Fingers swept her hair off her shoulder so he could tilt her, his mouth against her ear.

“Do you remember when you asked if I would chase you?”

“Lucien,” she whispered, trying to turn in his arms but he didn’t budge. 

“I haven’t seen you in a long time. It’s given me time to plan this. I want you to run…I’ll give you a heads start before I come looking.”

“Am I to pretend you’re an invader?” she demanded, skin prickling with arousal. Lucien sucked in a breath.

“Yes,” he whispered. “We saw each other when I stepped into your city…you know what will happen if I catch you.”

“And what if I get lost?” she whispered. Lucien’s chuckle was dark, decadent. 

“I’ll find you.”

“But what if—”

“There is no possibility in which I don’t,” he whispered, lips caressing her skin. “And when I do, I’m going to tie you up and have my wicked way with you…and it’s going to take a long time, Elain.”

He waited for her to tell him no, to protest and remind him that princesses didn’t run through the woods to be rutted like an animal, and yet…and yet her whole body was pulled tighter than string at the thought, of exploring this danger with someone she could trust. 

“Afterwards we’ll sleep under the stars,” he added, his voice lightening. 

She could tell him no. It was that realization that had her pulling from his grasp. “If you lose me, I will be very angry with you,” she warned, inching away from him. Lucien’s entire face lit with predatory intent. 

“There is nowhere you could run within my borders where I would not find you,” he promised. He’d said as much the first night in Naxos when she’d begged him to let her go. Their eyes met and Elain backed another step towards the forest. She could just see it, in that moment. Her, standing on the gray flagstones of the city square as a foreign army swept through the gate. Horrified of what that meant, of what they’d do. He’d come in, every inch the warrior prince, eyes sweeping for his next move. They’d see each other and he’d smile, just like he was then. Elain pushed back yet again, heart hammering in her chest. 

“You don’t know my name,” Lucien reminded her, voice low—rough. “If I hear you say it, I’ll assume you want me to stop.”

“Do you know mine?”

He smiled wolfishly. “I’ve been watching you, Elain of Ellesmere, for a long time.”

It was those words, spoken with such low intensity against his smoldering eyes, that made her turn and run. Lucien’s rumbling laugh chased after her though he remained in the shadow of the dense, tall trees. It took Elain very little time to understand why Lucien wasn’t concerned about losing her. She was loud. Even when she slowed her steps in an attempt to be more intentional her sandals crunched against fallen leaves and twigs. The skirt of her dress dragged and lifting it did little to help. She was hyper aware of every little noise, every shift in the wind. 

It wasn’t fear that moved her forward but anticipation. In this fantasy, one where Elain wasn’t, somehow, the same person she’d been three months ago, she almost wanted to be caught. In real life she certainly did. She liked being outdoors but not like this. Not alone, tramping through underbrush and dirt by herself waiting for her husband to leap out from a bush and drag her to the ground.

Her steps slowed as time wore on, moving her forward over the hilly landscape. Elain didn’t stop until she stumbled over a loose piece of flagstone. Ruins, he’d said. Steps were carved into the hill, taking Elain up over jagged, loose stone crumbled away by time. Elain was breathless by the time she reached the top of the ruined palace. Weeds and vegetation had overtaken it, pushing through the once beautiful white marble floors, vines and flowers snaking around toppled pillars weathered away by wind and rain. Some walls were still somewhat intact, giving her the shape of this place. 

Elain took one step and Lucien, casual and lovely, strolled from behind one of the walls, one broad hand resting on his sword. “Princess,” he called, his voice rich and mocking. Elain had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. He’d known, then, that she’d end up here and had merely beaten her to it. How long had he stood her waiting? The sun was flickering in the distance, casting long shadows over everything it touched. He took a step towards her, prince of this place and Elain half wanted to give in, to pull him close and kiss him until he’d forgotten why they’d come out here in the first place.

She didn’t miss the way he had a length of rope casually slung over one shoulder, wound up just as he promised. He watched her with a feral kind of hunger, so clearly hoping she’d play along.

“Found you.”

“Come no closer,” Elain ordered, trying to embody the woman she’d once been. She held out one hand, as if that would keep him from her. Lucien’s grip on his sword tightened, his excitement evident. 

“Or what?” he taunted. “You’re an awfully long way from home.”

She had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. “I’ll scream,” she whispered, skittering back a step when he came towards her with powerful strides. Too late, Elain remembered how she’d once stared at Jurian’s legs, the first set of male thighs she’d ever seen. She vowed to tell Vassa when she returned, certain her friend would find it amusing. 

Lucien looked genuinely pleased with how things were playing out. He licked his lips, ever the animal Graysen too often accused him of being and oh, some small part of her wished it were real. 

“Go ahead,” Lucien invited, raising his arms in invitation. “Scream as loud as you like. No one is coming for you.”

Elain darted out of his grasp, catching the way his muscles coiled. He missed her by inches, fingers grazing her skin and leaving burning heat in their wake. He laughed again, a sound that sent rippling shivers up her spine. He was so handsome, so lovely…all the wrong thoughts to be having in a scenario in which he was attempting to debauch the captured princess.

Lucien knew the ruins better than her, knew this sprawling, marble landscape like the back of his hand. He whirled around a pillar when she turned, hoping to find leaves and dirt beneath her feet, and caught her in his arms.

“Let me go,” she whispered, wanting very much the opposite. Lucien didn’t oblige—he wouldn’t until he heard his name spoken or some other words that convinced him they were no longer playing a game. 

“Not on your life,” Lucien growled, tongue sliding over the side of her neck. Elain exhaled, unable to hide her reaction to his touch even as he hauled her over his shoulders and began to walk. Her protests were half hearted though she knew he found it amusing when she pounded her fists against his leather clad torso. It was meant to stop a sword from harming him. She doubted she registered at all.

Elain was delighted to see he’d set up a little camp along unbroken marble floors, with blankets and other things that would make sleeping outdoors pleasant. “Stop it,” Lucien grumbled, breaking his character for a moment when she felt her press a kiss against the back of his bicep. 

“Let me go,” Elain ordered breathlessly, adopting her bossiest tone. “You have no right—”

Lucien pulled her from his shoulder, setting her to the ground in a mockery of rough handling. He straddled her hips, holding her wrists above her head while she writhed, if only to feel this hardness against her stomach.

“My husband will be coming for me.”

That amused him. Lucien clearly had not expected her to say such a thing. Eyes glittering, he tied the rope around her wrists just tight enough she couldn’t escape but not so tight her hurt her. 

“He’ll kill you when he finds you,” she added, if only to stroke his ego a little. 

Lucien leaned forward, hair tickling her face. “I’m sure he’ll try.”

Lucien secured the other end of his rope to a nearby pillar, holding her against the soft blankets she supposed they were pretending didn’t exist. When he finished, Lucien came to crouch beside her, making a big show of undoing his belt and tossing his sword aside. She hadn’t seen him undress in so long she didn’t want to turn away, though she supposed any reasonable lady would have.

“I’m starting to think your husband doesn’t fuck you well,” Lucien told her, amusement bright when he realized she fully intended to watch him remove his clothes. “Do you see something you like?

His sandals and shin guards went first, followed by the leather vambraces at his wrist. “You’re disgusting,” she lied, earning a delighted laugh for her trouble. “Is this how you treat women where you’re from?”

“My women like being treated this way,” he crooned, reaching for the straps on his shoulders. Elain’s breath caught in her throat when he unbuckled them, revealing the vast expanse of his flat, toned chest. He pulled against her rope, legs clamped together, suddenly desperate to touch him. 

The last of his clothes fell away, tossed to the side with his hidden bag revealing every perfect, golden inch of him. He was so lovely, so perfect. She whimpered, fingers curling to fists. Touch me, she wanted to scream, watching him still crouched beside her as he reached for the half hard cock between his legs. “I’ve been watching you.”

“What have you learned?” Elain replied. Lucien reached behind him for a knife, and too late, sliced open the length of her rather nice dress without warning. Elain gasped, her irritation obvious enough to draw a sheepish sigh from his lips. She hoped he’d thought to bring an extra or she’d be living in the ruins full time. 

Lucien tossed the knife above her head just out of read, letting his calloused hands slide down her body. “You spend your nights alone,” he whispered, lowering his head to her breasts. “Not a man in sight.”

“He’s busy,” she shuddered, trying so hard not to arch into his touch. 

“Too busy for his lovely wife?” Lucien teased, tongue brushing her peaked nipple. Elain’s gasp betrayed her as she supposed it might have if this had been real. 

“He is…an important…man,” she whispered. “He comes when he can.”

“Not often enough,” came Lucien’s swift reply. She wondered if it wasn’t an apology of sorts for letting duty get in the way of the attraction that existed between them. “I see you in your little swimsuits,” he added, kissing down her stomach, eyes watching.

“You have no right,” she lied. She only put them on hoping he’d look. 

“I want to rip them off with my teeth,” he groaned, pushing her once closed knees apart roughly, exposing her to the cool wind and his burning gaze. “Would you like that?”

“No.” Yes.

Lucien was so bad at this game now that he had her. She was certain no one on the planet liked licking as much as he did and was even more sure no marauder would have tied her up just to lap between her legs like he clearly meant to do. It didn’t stop her from writhing away from his mouth, prolonging the game for as long as possible while he lowered his head, fingers pulling her apart to really look.

“You’re already wet,” he informed her and as if to illustrate his point, slicked a finger through her. Elain twisted for all the good it did. Lucien was staring with single-minded fascination. Lucien’s thumb rubbed over her clit absently, using her own wet heat to lubricate the touch. “You want me.”

His voice was a touch too awed to be the fearsome, terrible warrior having his wicked way with the helpless princess.

“I don’t want you,” Elain lied, meeting his gaze. Lucien’s thumb never stopped its lazy circles.

“I’m going to take you from him,” Lucien finally said, his eyes asking her a question she couldn’t quite answer. “Make you my own.”

“You can try,” Elain replied simply, lost in that russet flame. “He’ll find you. He’ll kill you.”

He lowered his mouth, replacing his finger with his tongue with a shuddering groan. “You’re right,” he whispered, their game abandoned quicker than she thought he meant to. “I would find you. I would kill anyone who harmed you.”

That look was back in his eyes. Elain swallowed and for the first time, she was afraid.

LUCIEN:

Lucien was in far too deep. He had his wife tied up in the woods in what was meant to be a fun little game and already he’d given it up. It was her, so earnest and sweet, her words so breathless and defiant, that had wrecked it. 

My husband will be coming for me.

Lucien had never heard her refer to him as anything but Lucien. My husband. The words immediately bounced around his skull, hollowing him out. She’d said it with such conviction, eyes blazing. He’ll kill you when he finds you mingled with his own fury. I’ll fucking kill you!

What had happened to him? Who had he become? When had he become her acolyte, no better than Arina yelling at him on his ship as he sailed away? All he knew was the thought of another man tying up his wife in the forest suddenly enraged him, even though that man was him. Not that he had any intention of untying her. Elain’s body was stretched deliciously over a thick blue blanket, breasts pointed straight to the sky. Lucien rolled his neck for a moment, letting the heat of his breath mingle with the cool air of the rapidly darkening sky.

She lifted her hips, equally bad at their shared game. He should have dragged her to the ground the moment he saw her, should have lifted her skirt and plunged inside her. Lucien knew why. Graysen had gotten beneath his skin with his talk of animals, of how he was little better than a brute, a slave to his base instincts and yet Lucien could not stand, even in pretend, to hurt her.

There were words he needed to say but not then, not as he lowered his mouth to her body to truly enjoy her. They groaned at the same time in their shared relief, grateful to no longer playing. She was already wet, the heat of her a brand against his cheek. Lucien spread her wider, watching through his lashes as he licked. Elain had her head thrown back, one hand grasping her breast. He couldn’t stand it—Lucien needed her right then. There was no slow drag towards climax as he reached for his knife to cut her rope, only his frantic hands flipping her from her back to her chest, pulling her ass into the air.

She squealed when he slid inside her, rising onto her elbows. Lucien was hypnotized watching her ass cheeks bounce in time with her hanging breasts, nipples brushing the blanket beneath. Elain’s cunt gripped him like a silken fist, her body wrapped around his own like second skin. It was never going to be enough. Lucien could do nothing but give in, to pound against his wife. Each new thrust drew the wet sound of her arousal, driving him higher and higher towards climax. He was impossibly tight, holding back the urge to come until she did. It was a slow come down for Lucien, still pumping even when Elain collapsed to her stomach. When he did remove himself, still twitching and wanting and gripping the cheek of her ass, he watched his come spill out with a kind of lurid fascination.

Lucien joined her on the blanket, flinging out his arm so she’d crawl against him, breasts pressed softly against his body. Elain’s fingers were idle, dragging over the sparse hair on his chest, trailing down his stomach before running the pad of her finger over his still sticky cock.

“Are you upset I’m not pregnant?” she asked after a pleasant moment of just her touching him. Too often it was the other way around.

“It’ll happen,” Lucien replied easily. “I’m told it takes some time.”

“I felt you watching…your mother suggested raising my hips afterwards and let gravity do some of the work for me.”

Lucien wrinkled his nose. “My mother?” Why would she ever talk to Elain about that? Elain nodded, unaware of how uncomfortable it made him. 

“That’s why I was brought here, right? To have a baby?”

Ah fuck. He’d forgotten how they met, the way they’d been married on a battlefield to keep her fiance from being hung from the gates of a nearby city. Lucien felt shame wash over him. Reaching for her hand, he pressed a kiss to her palm. 

“What if we got remarried?” he murmured. “In the city. Perhaps doing it right would cause the Gods to look upon us with favor.”

Liar. Perhaps he wanted to see her bathed in the traditional gold wedding attire, walking towards him like this had always been her choice. Perhaps he wanted a portrait commissioned so he might show his future sons how beautiful their mother had been on that day. Shining and, ideally, filled with love. For this place, it’s people…him, and the family they’d one day create. 

The thought didn't even register right away. Too blinded by her smile, by the way she was creeping closer, Lucien didn't dwell on why he was offering. Why he even wanted it. 

“I always wanted a wedding,” Elain admitted gently, scooting closer. Her fingers still drifted over him, drawing a soft moan when they danced against his thighs. “Wouldn’t that be a terrible burden on your time?”

“No,” he managed when she rubbed that soft pad against his aching balls, eliciting another labored breath. “It would be good for everyone to see you that way…for them to see us that way.”

“More games,” she teased, her hand wrapped around his cock. Lucien shook his head no but it didn’t matter if he was being honest or not. Why did she feel so good like this, sweetly teasing before doing little more than squeezing him with her petal soft hands? He arched against her hand, grateful when she began to stroke him, even if she was in no hurry. 

“Do you think it would help? Getting married again, I mean?”

“We never got married to begin with,” he groaned, reaching for one of her breasts just to touch something. “That wasn’t a marriage it was an acquisition.”

“So now that you own me—”

Lucien growled, grabbing her by the hips to haul her against him. Elain squealed with delight, sinking onto his cock before she could finish that sentence. 

“Let me do something nice for my wife,” he whispered, knotting his hand in her hair to draw her fully against him, chest to chest as she began to roll that soft cunt against him. “I want to fucking marry you, Elain.”

She kissed him. “Okay.”

What Lucien ignored, as he began to fuck her again, was how little this new marriage had to do with fertility or his people accepting her. It was for him because he wanted it, because he wanted her. Elain, bathed in the last vestiges of daylight, her mouth hot and hungry, had no idea what was settling in his chest, ringing loudly like a bell. 

Lucien was in love with his wife. 

ELAIN:

Night forced Elain and Lucien to pull a blanket over their naked bodies, if only to guard from the occasional buzzing, biting insect. There was some sort of magic afoot in the ruins, some swirling, glimmering thing that made him seem so much lovelier, so much more wonderful than he’d ever been. Elain couldn’t stop touching, couldn’t stop watching. She had all his attention, laying on her stomach, head propped on her arms, while Lucien peered up at the open, star freckled sky above, and told her everything she’d ever wanted to know. 

“So your mother climbed out a window?” she was asking, so curious about the politics of his court and how his father—and by extension, Lucien himself—operated. 

Lucien turned, hands resting behind his head. She suspected he’d positioned himself this way so she could admire his toned biceps. It was working. “Yes. And she stole one of Beron’s ships and somehow managed to navigate across the ocean without help and little food, to crawl to our shores.”

“Your father risked war?”

Lucien’s gaze was unreadable. “Of course. What else could he do?”

Elain knew all too well what Helion could have done. Her father would have sent Amera back without question, wouldn’t have risked his politics on another person. He could barely risk them on his own daughters. Elain, abandoned despite her coveted status as his favorite princess, given to his worst enemy to save his war machine. 

She wanted to ask Lucien a different question. What would you do if it were me?

She didn’t dare. Not when he was easy with her, not when he seemed to enjoy her beyond just having sex. Elain knew if she asked him if he felt sentimental towards her, Lucien was likely to pull away, to put far too much distance between them. She wouldn’t risk it. Maybe in a year, after the wedding…when she was pregnant, at the very least, she might ask if he’d changed his mind about her. Her stomach churned all the same, threatening to dump the contents of earlier that day all over the blanket beneath her. Heart pounding, Elain forced herself to take several measured breaths to steady herself. They were happy. She was happy. He cared for her. 

If he could ever love her. 

“Why don’t you fight like they do…like father does, I mean?” she asked. Lucien’s lips quirked.

“Because we have a treaty that prohibits us from those sorts of tactics. And, personally, I have honor. What honor is there in victory if you have to slaughter innocents to achieve it?”

“You never invaded our city.”

“We don’t want your city. Why invade?”

“To make a point?” she asked. Lucien shook his head, turning his gaze back to the stars. 

“I have to live with my choices and I know I couldn’t if I ever marched my soldiers up north knowing full well the havoc we would wreak. I would rather continue to beat the north back than to become them.”

“He’ll never stop,” she whispered. Her gut churned at the knowledge of everything she still probably knew, the conversations she’d heard she couldn’t immediately recall, the maps she’d seen, the stories they told. “Graysen I mean.”

“He should have died that day,” Lucien said tersely, clenching his jaw. “I regret he didn’t.”

She couldn’t look at him. Lucien pulled her closer, his arm beneath her body, fingers stroking over her shoulder blades. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know,” she agreed. He didn’t understand because he didn’t feel the same. Had Graysen died, she’d still be mourning up north, would have been all but a widow. Waiting, hoping whoever came next evoked the same sense of feeling. Worse still, she never would have met Lucien.That was, perhaps, the most unthinkable thing. 

“We’ll keep meeting them every time they come,” Lucien added. “And I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re waiting for me at home.”

Because she was his trophy. Elain swallowed that little piece of hurt before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Maybe it's over,” she murmured, brushing the strands of coppery hair from his face. Lucien inclined his head into her touch, eyes fluttering shut. 

“It’s not. We’ll be lucky to get more than a year of peace before they find some fucking loophole. The only saving grace is your sisters. Nesta is still trapped in Velaris and Feyre married Rhysand. If Archeron is looking for revenge, it won’t be with us. I stole my northern daughter the old fashioned way.”

“By marrying me?” she asked dryly. 

“Exactly,” Lucien agreed with an easy smile. “Contract and all. And I know there are no loopholes to it because I was there when it was written.”

“Why not just say no?” Elain asked suddenly, shifting closer. “You could have had your revenge.”

“Well,” Lucien began, eyes back on her face. “Graysen did swear you were the most beautiful woman in the world and I confess, I was curious.”

“Seriously?”

“It wasn’t my only reason. Peace is very seductive. If I killed him, who knows what Archeron would have done…who he would have replaced him with—”

“No one,” she said quickly. “There is no one who can do what Graysen does.”

“Children grow up,” Lucien murmured. “They hope to one day outdo us. Our son will be the same…some boy in the north looks to Graysen and has those same dreams. So I said I would take you and hoped Graysen was not spinning me some tale.”

“So you would have married me no matter what?”

Lucien nodded. “I would have married you even if you were not the most beautiful woman in the world, but let me say, I was incredibly relieved when you stepped into that tent.”

“How utterly shallow, my lord.”

He grinned. “Maybe. I have no regrets.”

No regrets. The words bloomed in her chest, filling her with warmth. Lucien was still watching her, hand brushing over her cheek. “And you, sweet Elain? Did you get the dashing prince of your dreams?”

She poked him in the cheek. “I got a rogue for a husband is what I got.”

Lucien’s smile shifted, softening his face as he drew her in for a kiss. They went back to their conversation, teasing and sharing information in equal measure before Lucien tired of words and decided his body was far more effective at communicating. She didn’t know what he was trying to tell her and yet each new stroke made Elain feel seen. Special. 

Almost loved. She curled beside him when they were too tired to keep going, sweaty and spent. He rolled to his side, holding her against him, her cheek pressed to his arm. Elain had expected a night in the woods to be terrifying or, at least, uncomfortable. She woke to Lucien extracting himself during the first light of dawn to relieve himself and dig out the food they’d all but ignored the night before. 

“I don’t want to go back,” she mumbled, burrowing deeper into the blanket. She could hear the clanking of his buckles and the soft sounds of his leather. Lucien crouched, sandals laced back over his shins. 

“You have to…in that blanket. If we leave now, no one will realize how I’ve defiled my princess. Come on. You can get right back in bed when we get home.”

Elain groaned. Lucien spread the other blanket over the saddle before ensuring she was draped completely before swinging his leg up behind her. The glow that had settled around them seemed to fade, replaced by warrior Lucien and his all but naked wife. With every step closer to Naxos, his demeanor seemed to shift until she barely recognized him. He wasn’t thinking of their blanket of stars or what they’d talked about, but what he needed to do for the day. 

“I’ll talk to father about our wedding,” Lucien told her once she was back on solid ground just outside the palace. Lucien handed off their horse, his body all but shielding her from the curious gazes of the servants. “And have breakfast sent up for you.”

“You’re not joining me?”

Lucien grimaced. “I have things I need to do with Jurian today. Arina and Vassa will be around,” he added gently. “I promise to make more of an effort to come to bed reasonably.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Elain murmured as they approached the front of the palace. She rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, smothering her disappointment carefully. “I know you’re busy.”

He nodded, leaving Elain to walk miserably back to the bedroom they shared, still alone. Her body swayed for a moment, the spotty black popping behind her eyes for a moment. She exhaled her anxious disappointment.

She was still alone.

LUCIEN:

Lucien inclined in his chair, glancing at Jurian. “Write to Eris.”

His father rolled his eyes, turning his back from the round table of advisors and other trusted generals, all staring at the map before them. “I’m not writing Beron’s son.”

Lucien ignored that, gaze drifting back to the map of little red dots threatening to overwhelm the east. “If Archeron sweeps through Velaris, he’ll have cover in those mountains. We’ll be outmanned and without any help from our closest neighbor.”

“We’re always lacking help from our neighbors,” Ajax reminded him tersely. “I don’t see why this should be any different.”

“What is the point of Arina’s marriage, then? Tie up in conditions. Force Eris to send aid if nothing else. Weapons, supplies, coins….it doesn’t have to be his army though it should be.”

“We ought to abandon that entirely. Marry Arina to one of the generals in Rhodes, keep her in our territory. This isn’t the time to make enemies of our own men,” Ajax snapped. Lucien hated that gray haired bastard and the absolute trust his father held in him. Ajax and Helion had suffered countless wars together, had fought at each others backs the way Jurian and Lucien did. Ajax would always put Naxos above everything and believed an isolationist policy was for the best. It was short sighted. With Feyre to the east and Arina to the west, Naxos could have true allies for the first time in centuries. Tied by women and the children they bore.

Helion looked at Lucien, pursing his lips. “We could avoid war entirely by just…doing nothing,” his father murmured.

“We could engender more than a little good will by sending home Archeron’s daughter instead of flaunting her presence with this fucking wedding.”

“Watch yourself,” Lucien warned, leaning forward as Jurian’s hand slid to the hilt of his sword. “That’s my wife.”

“She’s not pregnant. For all you know they gave you their infertile daughter to waste your time with. For all that matters, she’s unharmed. Send her home as a show of our good will and let Rhysand pick up the fight.”

Lucien’s eyes snapped to his father expecting to see disagreement. The whole table shifted uncomfortably and Lucien wondered if they, too, would hand over their wives if Ajax suggested it. It was offensive, a slap in Elain’s face and worse still, the realization of every fear she’d expressed mere weeks before. 

“He has asked for her back formally,” Helion began, his voice soft and apologetic. Lucien rose to his feet, his anger threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn’t very well fight his father, not in front of this council. It was unfair—he’d married her for the good of his people and now was being told he’d have to give her back, too. Only Lucien was expected to sacrifice. His own father had demanded fidelity and now, merely three months later, was walking it all back. 

Helion caught him in the hall. “It’s not an order, Lucien—”

“Not yet,” Lucien retorted, letting his father drag him down the halls, past the curious faces of their courtiers, back to the privacy of Helion’s study. “But you are considering it. It’s foul—”

“She isn’t one of us,” Helion reminded Lucien, pacing to the large windows.

“Neither is mother. I’m curious if you intend to send her back to Eris, then?”

“Don’t you dare—”

“No don’t you!” Lucien exploded. “I have done every single thing you have ever asked of me but I made Elain promises. I swore that she would remain my wife until I died and I will not go back on them.”

“Even if it means war?”

Lucien wanted to scream. “It is always war with them! You’ll send her back—to her death, I might add—and they’ll be here in six years instead of five. What did you accomplish, except murdering an innocent woman?”

His father took a breath. “If Archeron took even half of Rhysand’s forces, we wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“We should help him, then,” Lucien pushed. “Not tuck away behind our walls and wait. Call Eris, send word to Rhysand. War is inevitable and we both know it. I will—”

“Is Elain pregnant?” Helion interrupted. Lucien swallowed, pressing his chapped lips together. 

“Is this the ultimatum then? Impregnate my wife or send her home?”

“Yes,” Helion murmured. “I will buy you time for your wedding and a celebration but at the end of the summer, if she is still not with child, we will need to consider how best to move forward…and I think you will be outvoted.”

“You’re king,” Lucien all but pleaded. “You could simply bend your will.”

“I need my soldiers to follow me. No one will understand you’ve fallen in love with Archeron’s daughter. They’ve already suggested I call Jesminda back.”

Lucien was going to vomit. “So that’s it, then? I cast her aside and just start over with a different woman? How long before Jes isn’t worthy? Shall I remarry again? And again? Perhaps all of their daughters?”

“Lucien?’ “No. If you send Elain back, I will step down and you will be left without an heir and the resulting infighting.”

Helion’s eyes flashed dangerously. “You will do no such thing. You will do your duty as prince of this city as you always have. I have given you three months.”

Lucien shook his head. “When mother learns of this, she will be unforgivably angry.”

“Your mother understands I have to make choices I hate,” his father replied angrily. “I don’t want to see Elain go.”

“I will not start over,” Lucien warned. “If she leaves, I will remain unmarried and without an heir. No matter how you try to force this to appease your courtier, our family line dies right here, in this room.”

“This isn’t my first choice,” Helion tried but Lucien didn’t want to hear another speech about honor and duty and whatever other nonsense his father might manage to conjure that would trick Lucien into thinking this was right. Graysen would brutalize Elain if he let her live, trotting her out merely to taunt Lucien for the rest of their lives. Any children she bore would only further the insult until she died miserable and alone. He couldn’t stand it. He wouldn’t stand for it. He’d try and if he failed, he’d abdicate just like he said he would, take his wife, and flee across the sea to other places.

He tracked her down to their bedroom, changing from a wet swimsuit, her skin tanned and perhaps a little red against the bridge of her nose. Long hair plastered against her face and Elain, glancing at him as she pulled her leg out of the sopping wet fabric, looked so happy. She grinned, the gesture a physical punch to the gut. 

“What are you doing in here?”

“I…” he couldn’t tell her. “I missed you.”

“We were going to get lunch,” Elain began, turning her bare back to him, her scars on full display. “Do you and Jurian want to join?”

He was sure Jurian did. “Stay.”

She looked over her shoulder, sliding a silvery robe over her body. Elain pulled her hair from beneath the fabric, her smile softening. What he wouldn’t give to see her look at him like that forever. Like he was worth smiling at, the kind of man who wouldn’t keep secrets, who would protect his wife at all costs. “Let's stay in bed for the rest of the day.”

Her smile flickered. “Is everything okay?”

Lucien shook his head no. He couldn’t tell her, couldn’t put the horror and dread over her. Not when she was so excited to be wed in front of the entire city, to become permanent, a member of his home, his place, his people. Elain would stop smiling, would draw inward and wait.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, that smile slipping entirely. Lucien went to her, pulling her cold body against his own.

 “I’m still dressed,” he said, shoving his worries deep, deep down. “And you’re unfucked.”

“You’re crude,” she whispered breathlessly. “And I should bathe before you touch me.”

Lucien slapped her ass. “Go take a bath. I’ll join you in a moment.”

Elain smiled again, scampering to the door with a quick, hopeful look over her shoulder. Lucien watched her go before scrambling to his desk. Treason. This is treason.

It was self-preservation. Helion was too worried about his soldiers, about always pushing off the inevitable. Waiting for Archeron to have an undefeatable army was madness. Lucien wasn’t going to watch it, wasn’t going to aid in the eventual slaughter of his people.

Grabbing a piece of parchment as Elain closed the door, Lucien did the only thing he could think of.

He wrote to Eris. 

ELAIN:

“You look so pretty,” Lucien whispered, fingers brushing against the nape of Elain’s neck. She stared at herself in the mirror. Who was she? The woman staring back hardly looked like the Elain she knew. Tanned, pink cheeked and dusted in gold, this woman might have lived her entire life in Naxos. Her hair was nearly blonde, so light it made her brown eyes seem darker somehow. Elain reached for one of the carefully coiffed curls, ignoring the man standing behind her and the simmering heat etched over his expression.

“You know,” she began, trying to keep her voice light and failing miserably. “Where I come from, it’s considered bad luck for a groom to see his bride before their wedding.”

“We’re already married,” Lucien reminded her with a cheeky smile. 

“Lucky you,” she teased, sweeping one last look over her body. She was practically painted in gold, from the circlet that curved through her hair, it’s little jeweled sun resting in the center of her forehead, to the make-up on her face, all the way the gown that sparkled in the light, giving the impressing someone had painstakingly placed little gems one by one over her torso and arms before it swept into a light, full skirt. Elain had never seen a bride that looked like her. At home, women wore white dresses that covered every inch of their bodies—her own back was totally bare, just as her arms, save for the golden cuff of leaves snaking up her bicep, a match for the snake on Luciens. They also wore veils that hid their faces, lifted only once the vows were spoken. There would be no veil for Elain. The entire city would be allowed to feast upon her as she stood atop that hill and spoke the ancient vows every woman before her had ever pledged to a future monarch. 

And Lucien, in his ceremonial pteurges and immaculate sandals that laced up his powerful shins, looked every inch a king. A golden cape hung from his broad shoulders, a match for her dress, for the sunburst crown against his half braided auburn hair. His arms, just her own, were unadorned though he wore golden vambraces that were hardly more than decoration. 

And his ring, which was what turned her around to look at him with her own eyes. She reached for his large hand, twisting the band around his finger. She almost told him he didn’t have to do this. That the ceremony was unnecessary–she was his wife whether the people of Naxos liked her or not.

Lucien’s lips parted. “I feel lucky,” he murmured, fingers back on her face. Her whole body tightened in response. Fear and anxiety collided with affection because so did she. She’d spent her whole life hoping for a good marriage to a good man. Perhaps not this man and yet…and yet he was kind and warm and giving and everything she’d once dreamed of. Elain pressed a kiss to his palm. 

“You’ve become soft, husband.”

“I hope not,” he joked. “I feel quite hard. Would you like to–”

“Stop it. Put that away,” she added, eyes sliding down his armored body. “At least for now.”

He bit his lip, grinning roguishly. “Okay, alright. For now. But after tonight's feast…”

“You may bring it out for my inspection,” Elain agreed. 

Lucien brushed his knuckles over her jaw. “Are you nervous?”

She scoffed. “I’ve seen your penis—”

He laughed, interrupting her words to throw his head back. The rich, booming timbre made her start. Had he ever laughed like that in front of her? Elain could only stare, her whole body vibrating as if she stood in the presence of some newly minted God. He was magnificent, so wonderful and perfect and—

The realization slammed into her like a bolt of lightning. Love. 

I love him.

“Not my penis,” he laughed, pulling her into his chest. “This ceremony. Are you nervous about the ceremony?”

Oh Gods, she thought, her stomach churning. “Why do you ask?”

“You look pale,” he replied, his mirth dying just a little. “And I’d like to kiss you, but not if you’re going to puke on my sandals.”

“You want to kiss me?” 

Lucien smiled again, cupping her jaw. “I always want to kiss you.”

He lowered his head, lips parted. She surged upwards, unwilling to wait on his slow descent, on the feather soft tease. I love you, I love you, I love you.

He inhaled with surprise, those arms wrapped around her tightening until Elain felt anchored again. Lucien tasted like a familiar dream, one that was just out of reach. A memory she was desperately trying to hold on to, something that didn’t belong to her. She held his face, proof he was, at least in that moment.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling from the kiss breathlessly, eyes searching her face. Elain shook her head.

“Nerves,” she lied. “Sorry, I…”

“Don’t apologize,” he replied, kissing her again. “You don’t need to be afraid. This is your home. We’re together.”

She swallowed, unable to take her eyes off his, to look away like she knew she should. Lucien’s face shifted, his amusement fading to genuine concern. “Sweetheart…”

“I’m fine,” she lied, blinking against her urge to cry.

He released her, letting her step from that full length mirror to their bed. Elain took a gulp of cool air, trying to steady the erratic pounding of her heart. Loving her husband on her wedding day should have felt like a dream. It was a nightmare given her own uncertainty around his feelings. She wanted to just tell him. 

Lucien came behind her again, hands sliding over her arms reassuringly. “Say the word and I’ll call it all off. We’ll lay in bed and eat cake until we’re sick from sugar.”

“I’m fine,” she lied again, exhaling a steady breath. “I promise.”

He didn’t say a word, tugging her against his chest to press a kiss against her scalp. Elain inclined her head, eyes closed, until she swore she could hear the steady thumping of his heart. “I’m glad it's you,” he finally whispered, just in time for a soft knock on the door. It was time to go. Elain inclined her head upwards, so sure she would fall to pieces. His eyes burned. He didn’t need to say what he felt, not when his expression could have ignited a fire. Maybe he didn’t recognize what was happening. Elain could hardly blame him and yet she felt as if they’d chosen each other, at least in that moment. 

Elain nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. Lucien dropped his arms, reaching for her hand instead. They’d go out together as was the custom, would walk the winding path through the now emptied palace to the same hilltop they’d stood on for the Solstice ceremony. Elain’s heart pounded wildly with each step, her body anchored only by Lucien’s reassuring grip. He never released her, not when they emerged from the cool shade of the palace into the blistering afternoon sun. The gathered crowd spanned as far as she could see, trailing up and down the winding city streets. Banners of white and gold were hung across wooden poles while multicolored, celebratory ribbons waved cheerfully in the breeze. Children sat atop their parents shoulders, their faces bright with wonder while the citizens of Naxos drank in the ceremony with soft fascination.

Helion and his wife were waiting on the stone platform, just off the side of the white arching trellis adorned with pink and purple hyacinths, yellow dandelions, and every color of laurel flower Elain could imagine. It was so dreamy, so romantic, the sort of pageantry that belonged to story books. Even in her daydreams before she’d been sent to Naxos, Elain would never have dared to have imagined a setting such as this, backdropped against the glimmering ocean. 

And Lucien. Oh, Lucien. He hardly seemed real, bathed in sunlight. Prince of Daylight. His skin gleamed bronze, seemed to glow with some innate, inner magic. He was luminous, so utterly beautiful she couldn’t breathe. A priestess has begun speaking but Elain couldn’t hear. She’d forgotten she was being watched, had forgotten the whole point of the wedding at all. Distantly, some nervous part of her mind realized she’d forgotten to look at the gathered courtiers, to see if she’d find approval—finally—or if they’d still regard her with their suspicion and dislike. She knew they thought it should have been their daughters standing up there with him. 

It felt like fate itself had peered from the heavens to look, to bless this marriage. Perhaps that was just how being in love felt. Everything in the universe must have conspired, plotting against her best intentions to bring her here.

Lucien spoke, reciting those vows. It was more than just a promise of love and protection, but a vow to the city itself. His love, his commitment extended to everyone because he married her. And when Elain spoke, she was careful to enunciate her every word, to say them slowly and with feeling, despite how hard she found it to breathe. Let there be no mistake of her intentions. No doubt of her loyalty. 

It was to Lucien, and, by extension, to his home, his people, this land. Any last vestiges of patriotism she felt to Ellesmere were banished when Lucien’s lips touched her, a sealing of vows, a display of affection. It was hardly the same as the one he’d offered in their bedroom and yet there could be no doubting that whatever existed between them was just political. Lucien had taken her face in his hands, brushing an errant, windswept curl off her cheek. He’d smiled, mouth brushing her own.

“I love you,” he whispered, so softly that only she could hear it. His mouth became firmer, the kiss only a second though in her head, it seemed to go on for eternity.

Elain meant to say it back. She reached for him.

And collapsed into darkness on the ground.

LUCIEN:

Lucien paced back and forth through the hall, still dressed for his wedding. The ceremony had been paused in the wake of Elain’s collapse. He’d suspected something was wrong the moment he found her in their bedchamber, staring at her appearance like she didn’t recognize herself. He’d been overwhelmed, completely swept up in her beauty. She’d never looked more like a princess of Naxos as she had in that moment. 

And bathed in the golden afternoon light? Well, Lucien had managed to keep himself from shedding a tear of joy when she spoke the vows of marriage to the city with such obvious feeling and affection that even Ajax had softened. He couldn’t help himself. He had to tell her, had been so certain, given the wide-eyed way she’d been looking at him, that she must love him too.

Dread replaced affection when she’d collapsed to the ground, nearly smashing her head into the stone. He’d just barely caught her in time. Heat stroke, his father had said when the city collectively gasped. 

Did she eat? His mother had demanded, as if Lucien knew. A physician was brought to their bedroom and Lucien shoved out. His mother had been dragged in nearly twenty minutes before and remained inside, the door shut to him. He could hear nothing—no whispered words, no proclamations of good health. Just terrible silence.

Lucien continued his pacing, his sandals clacking loudly so they knew he would not be leaving until someone came and offered an explanation. His cape fluttered around him, catching in the breeze to smack him in the face. It felt like the Gods chastising him—take better care of your wife.

“I’m trying,” he whispered, frustrated. He ran a hand over his face as his father rounded the corner.

“Any news?”

Lucien opened his mouth to complain when the door opened. His mother bit her bottom lip, eyes sliding towards her husband. There was something of a smugness to her expression and for a sickening moment, Lucien wondered if Elain wasn’t dying and everyone was secretly pleased.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded of the aging doctor. His mother pressed her lips together, hiding her smile. If Elain died, Lucien would too. He would not survive it, would follow her into the next life—

“The heat overwhelmed the princess,” the physician interrupted. “She should never have been made to stand like that given her condition. We’ve spoken, and she understands she needs to remain in quieter, cooler places for the time being—”

“Her condition?” Lucien asked stupidly. 

The physician clicked his teeth with exasperation. “Pregnant, your highness. The princess is pregnant.”

Behind Lucien, Helion blew out a breath. Lucien’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. “Truly?”

“Two months, give or take. She needs to rest, and to keep out of the sun,” the physician continued, brown eyes narrowing with distaste. 

“Of course,” Lucien agreed, rounding on his father. Helion held up his palms in surrender, waiting for the physician to vanish down the corridor. 

“She stays,” Lucien hissed, his triumph unmatched. “And if anyone suggests otherwise, it’ll be my blade against their neck.”

Lucien’s mother looked to his father, her eyes wide. “You wanted to send her back?”

“It was merely a thought,” Helion replied. “One that will never come to fruition. Congratulations,” he added, clapping Lucien on the shoulder. Lucien had to resist the urge to shake off his father, his resentment still hot and heavy in his chest. Later, he’d confess how he’d gone around Helion’s orders and written to his half-brother. For now, Lucien merely nodded.

“I need to see her,” he said, turning to the door. He was confident, if nothing else, his mother would give his father hell for even the suggestion Elain continue to be used as collateral. Lucien didn’t care. He’d never intended to send her back to begin with and still, as he walked back into their bedroom, the legitimacy of knowing she could never be taken from him filled Lucien with intense, unyielding relief. 

Elain was propped against the headboard with a mountain of pillows, her golden gown replaced with a breezy lilac nightdress. She looked at him, the black mascara coating her lashes smudged just beneath the hollows of her tired eyes. She seemed so scared. Lucien went to the bed, pulling her hand into his lap.

“Did…” she swallowed hard. “Did the doctor…?”

“A baby,” he agreed, scooting closer.

“Are you mad?”

Lucien choked on a hysterical laugh. “Why would I be mad?”

She drew her legs up to her chest, blinking rapidly against the tears she couldn’t keep at bay. Lucien came closer still, pulling her into his body. “Why are you crying? This is a wonderful thing.”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m happy, I…”

Lucien kissed her temple. “You don’t need to worry about anything except resting,” he said, smoothing golden brown curls from her face. “I will worry about everything else.”

“Did you mean what you said? This afternoon, when you…”

“Yes,” he said immediately, thumb stroking her warm cheek. “I love you.” The relief he felt, saying those three words, was unmatched. Elain, too, looked as if some terrible weight had been lifted from her chest.

“I wanted to tell you before we left—”

“Good thing you didn’t,” Lucien interrupted, ghosting his lips over her temple. “Or I might not have let you leave.”

“I wouldn’t have collapsed, though,” she replied with a sigh. “How embarrassing. Was everyone annoyed?”

“Worried,” he insisted. “You were utter perfection. If anything, it just confirms their opinion that I do not take good care of you.”

Her eyes went wide. “They do not think that–”

“Trust me, sweetheart. They absolutely do. Ever since the hurricane,” he added, kissing her again. “They like you far more than you think.”

Elain pressed a little closer. “Really?”

“Yes,” Lucien agreed. “And they will like you far more when they learn you’re carrying a future heir.”

He pressed his hand against her stomach, marveling that there was life brewing just beneath the skin. His son, he thought with emotion. “The whole city will be chasing after me with clubs, demanding I be a better husband.”

“I think you’re a good husband,” she murmured, nuzzling her head into the crook of his arm. 

“Well, the bar is quite low,” Lucien teased. “I met Gray–”

“Don’t say his name,” she demanded fiercely, eyes blazing. “I don’t ever want to think of him again.”

He chuckled. “Alright. If you say I’m a good husband, who am I to argue with my princess?”

“Your wife,” she argued. Lucien kissed her cheek.

“That’s right. My wife.”

That pacified her just as much as it settled Lucien. His wife. Married before his whole city, his affection declared unmistakably not just before his people but before the very Gods themselves. Try and take her from me, he all but taunted. Lucien would have gone to war for her, would have picked up his banner and led his armies into battle just to keep her. He knew, hand still spanning her stomach, that there was no atrocity he wouldn’t have committed to ensure she remained with him. 

He would have watched the world burn to ash before he let her go. It ought to have scared him, should have made him rethink the depth of his affection and yet Lucien only felt supreme peace at the notion. She’d been born for him just as surely as he had been created for her. 

“Lucien?” Elain asked after a moment, pulling his blood tinged thoughts back to the shady bedroom they both lounged in. He was uncomfortable in his leather, his feet hanging off the bed, still clad in sandals.

“Hm?”

“Can we still eat cake in bed?”

“Until we’re sick from the sugar?” he teased. Elain nodded her head. 

“Yes,” he agreed. “You stay here, I’ll go get it.”

“Thank you,” she sighed, settling back into the bed as he pulled away. Lucien paused at the door, turning to look back at his entire life laying that bed, legs outstretched, a hand resting on her chest. 

“Love you,” he murmured, just to hear her say it again. Elain turned her head, curls spilling over her shoulders. She smiled and fuck. Lucien had to blink against the blinding light that seemed to expand across the room.

“Love you, too.”

Perfect. 

[heartj4yn0]

let's go for ice cream

PAIRING. fem!reader x oh sehun

GENRE. mom!reader x dad/idol!sehun | marriage!au | relationship!au | fluff | parenthood!au | idol!au

warnings. mentions of birth, pregnancy, crying...? (ps: lmk if anything needs to be tagged!)

— disclaimer: If you are uncomfortable with said warnings, please don’t hesitate to exit this story!

AUTHOR’S NOTE.

because oh sehun will make a great dad.

WORD COUNT. 1,201

in which you and sehun spend a day together with your precious little girl, sehwa.

Oh Sehwa, the name you chose for your first daughter you brought to the world. The first time your eyes caught that name, you knew you just had to name one of your children Sehwa. Sehun could care less as it was close to his name and to him, it sounded natural. So when you found out that you were having a girl, Sehun jumped happily while chanting Sehwa like a mantra in your bedroom at 3am. He could not stop bragging to Suho-hyung about Sehwa, Suho just nodded along to the younger’s antics. By that time, the whole SM building knew you were getting a girl. Notifications fled your and Sehun’s phone with congratulatory messages ranging from staff members, Sehun’s sunbaenims, hoobaes and even Lee Soo Man himself!

You love her so much to the point that you can’t bring yourself to leave her at daycare. You only trusted a few people that were in yours and Sehun’s life. You would sometimes leave her with the Oh’s, your mother in law couldn’t stop gushing at her eldest granddaughter when you showed up at her doorstep with Sehwa’s diaper bag and toys. Ever Since Sehwa came into the world, both of your family couldn’t stop praising you for giving birth to such a wonderful daughter. They were so proud of you and Sehun and they were so thankful that your life was decorated with your one and only angel, Sehwa.

Time flies by so fast. Sehwa is now 2, she can walk properly, but you were so protective of her. How can you not? She’s your precious little angel that you and Sehun brought to the world. If anything happens to her, you don’t know what you’ll do. You reminisced the moment when the nurse handed you your little Sehwa that was born on August the 21st, year xxxx weighing 2.5kg. She had your eyes, those dark brown eyes and long lashes. Not forgetting Sehun’s lips and eyebrows. She looked like a mixture of both of you. You chuckled as you remembered Sehun’s state during Sehwa’s birth. His face was red, brimming with tears, non-stop praising you. Thanking you for all that you’ve done for him. It was a mess. The doctor and nurses in charge laughed seeing the youngest EXO member breakdown upon seeing his princess.

Today was Sehun and Sehwa’s daddy-daughter day out. It took you a while to let that information sink in. You wouldn’t stop holding your daughter’s hand. She was supposed to spend the day with her dad early in the morning, but with your protective side coming out, it was held back until the afternoon. Sehun whined at your motherly behavior. He just wanted some time with his favorite girl! Sehwa was unaware of her surroundings that she just shrugged her shoulders upon seeing her parents behave childishly.

“Mommy, you’re so cute!” Sehwa gushed.

“Sehwa, my precious little angel, I love you so much!”

“I love you more mommy!!!” your little girl replied back while hugging your torso with her small hands.

You closed your eyes avoiding your tears from falling down. Sehun noticed the change in your demeanor. He knew that you loved Sehwa so much to the point you’ll do anything it takes to make her happy. You’d go the extra lengths just for her. He also knew that you were scared. You were scared to see her grow up. You just wanted her to stay little and stay by your side. Sehun came from your side, caressing your sides to try calming you down. You immediately start sobbing. Sehwa heard your crying, it made her curious and sad at the same time.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” she questioned, “is it because today’s mine and daddy’s day?”

When she didn’t receive any response from you, she quickly muttered “We can go together, mommy! And we can get ice cream!”

“Awh sweetie, I wouldn’t want to impose on your daddy-daughter day!” you mentioned, earning an eye roll from your husband.

And now, you’re here, in your walk in wardrobe trying to find the perfect outfit. You settled with a light blue sundress you wore to your honeymoon in Maldives. Such good times, you thought to yourself. Your further thoughts were disrupted by the man clad in a light blue polo and grey dress pants. What a coincidence! both of you said mentally. Chuckling at the coincidence, you both made your way to the living room where Sehwa was waiting patiently for her dear mother. Everyone was buckled up in Sehun’s black Maserati Ghibli.

Sehwa buckled herself up on her baby seat and it almost made you bawl. She’s growing up so fast, my baby’s growing up so fast. You kept chanting that like a mantra. Without an announcement, your tears slowly made their way down your face. Sehun saw your tears from his peripheral vision, he offered you his handkerchief drowned in laundry detergent and his cologne.

Sehun opened the car door for you, handing out his hand for you to hold onto. You then went to Sehwa’s door and you were met by a wide smiled cheeky little girl that you called yours. The said little girl pulled your hand excitedly in the park while Sehun just followed from behind. You sat on the wooden bench you found near the ice cream stand. Sehwa had her daddy’s hand intertwined with her, it made your heart swell from the sight of it. You didn’t notice you were staring at the daddy-daughter duo when Sehwa looked back with a smile and waved at you. You waved back. You carefully took out your phone from your tote bag filled Sehwa’s drawing– which got you many compliments.

Snap! Snap! And snap again! You took multiple photos of them. You couldn't wait to go home, print them out and frame them. You don’t know where you’d be without the both of them. You don’t know what will happen to you without their existence. And so you thanked the universe for sending the precious angels in your life. After getting the desired flavor of her ice cream, Sehwa ran into you. You couldn't stop shouting ‘be careful, sweetie!’, you didn’t want her to fall down and scrape her knees. But Sehun said that it’s okay, she will eventually fall down and scrape her knees while crying your name.

Sehwa didn’t fall and you sighed with relief. Your little girl handed out your favorite ice cream, which earned her a peck on the cheek and a thank you. The three of you sat together on the wooden bench and ate the ice cream peacefully whilst looking at the sky. It was slowly turning into a purple-orange gradient, signalling your departure. It was a fun day. We have to do this again. Sehun was glad you came along because he didn’t know what to do if Sehwa suddenly threw a tantrum out of the blue. He felt content when two of his favorite girls were with him eating ice cream on a lovely day. He also can’t wait for more days like this. Sehun thanked the universe for giving him the best wife and daughter, he could’ve asked for.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

if you’ve read until here, thank you so much! it means a lot. take care <3!!

feel free to drop your feedbacks!

love,

heartj4yn0.

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, REPOST.