#i wonder if beyonce has listened to thursday

[nearmissclosecall]

old photos of geoff (and tom!) from tom’s instagram

descriptions under the cut

pic 1: geoff rickly from a slightly high angle. he has wired earbuds in and is wearing a shoulder bag with pins on the strap

pic 2: geoff rickly, with dyed black hair, laughing facing tom keeley

pic 3: geoff rickly and tom keeley posing on either side of jay z

pic 4: tom keeley and geoff rickly sitting at a table. geoff has his hands on his face and is looking up at the sky

[writingsfromhome]

Sorry x Rare

A/N: I got two lyric requests for Sorry by Beyonce and Rare by Selena Gomez. They were both sort of two sides of the same coin so I wrote them together it mostly goes from rare to sorry. Thanks for the requests, fingers crossed it lives up to what you wanted! <3

Synopsis: You and Harry have been together for a long time but he’s not the same man you fell in love with anymore.

-----

I move my dinner around on my plate, my gaze on the man pacing outside the restaurant on his phone. My man. But it didn't really feel like that these days. These days, Harry was a stranger to me--late nights, phone calls interrupting dinner, waking up to find him gone and not even sure if he'd come home at all.

I watch him remove the phone from his ear in a rush, stare at it, and then shove it aggressively in his pocket. He walks back in, cheeks pink and huffing.

"Should we ask for the bill?" He sits down in a flurry. I stare at his barely-eaten meal and my own dinner mashed to bits.

"We've barely had dinner."

"Babe, we've been here for over an hour since..." he takes his phone back out to inform me of how much time exactly but something must catch his attention because his sentence dies on his lips. I stare, he was so distant lately. "I'll drop you off at home, I've got to meet the boys they decided to talk business-"

"It's 8pm on a Thursday," I state the obvious. "Can't you catch up with them la-"

"This isn't an argument Y/N," Harry finally looks at me. He was done discussing it. He lifts his hands to the waiter and a minute later dinner's been paid for. He wasn't my baby, I think as we stroll outside to his car. I don't know who this man was.

***

I wake up the next morning with the weight of Harry on the other side of the bed. I could smell him, the booze sitting in his pores.

“Ugh,” I groan, not wanting to smell that first thing in the morning. I get up and start my day before I head to work. Soon, Harry appears squinting as I stir sugar into my coffee.

“I need a coffee,” he says, his voice hoarse. It used to sound sexy but now it was just another reminder that things changed. We lived like roommates and it hurt that he never wanted to talk. Half the time, he acted like I wasn’t even there.

I watch him settle with his coffee, taking the first sip and letting out a deep breath. A memory comes to me suddenly, the first year we were dating,

“I think this is the best coffee I’ve ever had,” it was the first night Harry had stayed the whole night and I’d made him coffee in my outdated coffee maker. It came out burnt half the time but that morning’s cup was decent. We’re swaddled in my blankets--the room I rented back then had poor circulation in the winter.

“I think you’re still slightly drunk,” I lean my shoulder against his and cup the warm drink. “I’ve definitely had better coffees.”

“Maybe coffees are just better the morning after,” he says, glancing at me and I know he can see the flush on my cheeks. He knew I was shy talking about certain things in the light of day.

“We can say that,” I mumble into the cup. “It’s just nice to have a heat source.”

“Here,” he takes the cup from me and reaches over to put both on the nightstand.

“Hey I wasn’t done with that.”

“I know but if you’re cold, I know this other heat source--it even works for hypothermia.”

His statement causes a blood rush that warms me already but I don’t say no to what he has in mind. I could make us another cup later.

Harry catches me staring when he looks over and raises an eyebrow. I snap out of my thoughts and twist my lips into a smile, looking back at my own drink bitterly. Who was this man in front of me? Out loud, I ask: “How was your night? You came in late.”

“I was out with the boys.” he says in a tone that meant he didn’t want to talk about it. “It got late.”

“A text would’ve been nice,” I say, still looking at my cup.

“S’not like you were waiting up,” he turns to walk back towards the bedroom.

“Learned not to,” I mumble but I know he’s heard me with the way he pauses. But he didn’t care enough to argue, dispute it, nothing. He leaves.

***

"Guess who just made a commission that's more than I used to earn in a year?" April walks into the small office, an infectious grin on her face.

"You sold him on it?" I put away the file I'm working on and jump up to hug my friend.

"I had to flirt a little--give him a vivid picture of what he could have there, and he signed! I'm bloody brilliant."

April was my American ex-pat who I met when she was looking for a flat a few years ago. And now here she was, working for me at the small real estate office I managed with a few other people I considered friends.

"Do you know if he was single?" I tune back in to hear Janelle asking.

"No, don't give her bad advice!" I scold Janelle. “We don’t date clients.”

"I'm miserably single," April pouts. "I'll take advice even if it’s bad."

"Bad advice is to stay with your college sweetheart to the point where you're not sure he even cares about you." I say to no one in particular. It was just us in the office today, and they knew everything about my life so I didn't care much. But the pin-drop silence that follows is different. I look up to see my friends eyeing each other. "What?"

"Nothing." They stay tight lipped but I push and they crack. "Well, so...we know things are rocky between you and Harry..."

"Things aren't rocky," I clarify. "They're just...nonexistent."

"Right," April slides closer. "Soo, we saw him at the club yesterday."

I raise my eyebrow, "He told me he was meeting up with his boys."

"Oh!" They sound surprised I know, but they look at each other again so I push them. "He was...there was a girl? Sitting on his lap for most of the night? Like, nothing happened I don't think so?" She turns to look at April at the end of each sentence.

Personally, I feel gut-punched even though I suspected this. I knew he wasn't where he said he was going to be sometimes, or with who he said he was going to be with. But he cut our own dinner short last night to be with strangers yesterday? I grip the pen in my hand.

"Y/N honestly...you know we love you and support you. But, you're a special girl and you deserve better than that sod."

"Yeah," Janelle puts her hand on my shoulder. "You're a gem Y/N. There's someone else out there who's gonna see how rare you are."

"I know," I blow my cheeks out. We'd had different conversations like this before, although never this direct. I guess we'd never had direct proof of what my husband was doing until now though.

"He's an idiot not knowing you're so rare," my friends try to comfort me. I feel my eyes well up and I swipe at them. I wasn't going to cry at work but they must sense the tears because they excuse themselves, "We're going to get you a tea, and some pastries to celebrate April's sale. April?"

I keep my face buried in my hands as they leave, take a few deep breaths. "I am rare," I say to myself but even that makes me laugh bitterly. Harry and I had been together for 5 years and here I was trying to count up all the reasons we should stay together when he didn't even care. He was out with other women, and I was waiting around for him.

"I'm rare," I say again. "I'm special, I deserve better. I...deserve better."

When will u be home tonight? I text Harry before I lose my nerve.

Busy he says. That’s it. And then, Why?

What time? I ask again.

8 or so, he responds.

Okay, we need to talk then. I put my phone away, too scared what he might text back. A tear falls from my cheek onto my keyboard, landing on the letter H. It mocks me. I wipe it off, and before I can think about what I'm doing I smash the letter down with my fist. I stand up and walk to the back of the office, a window overlooks the busy street. I'd had enough, I decide. Fuck Harry.

I’m not sure how long I stand there stewing, but my friends walking in with pastries and tea ends the emotional boiling pot from overflowing.

"Thanks," I take the cup from them.

“So we were talking and...” April looks at Janelle and she nods. “You should come out with us some time. Like...tonight. Dance with us, with other people...”

“I...I’ve got something at 8,” I come up with an excuse. As angry as I was, I wanted to have this conversation. It was long overdue.

***

I check my time again, the last text Harry sent me Ok. But it was 8:25 and Harry still wasn’t home. I’d give him five more minutes, I decide. I’d already tried to ring him with no answer.

I stare at the ring on my finger, it was supposed to symbolize a promise he made to me. What a fucking joke. I should’ve never said I do in the first place.

Was it young love, I wonder. Did we do this too fast and we were just set up to fail? But I remember the good memories, the soft and sweet times between us.

“I-I’ve never done something like this before,” I tell Harry. “I hate heights.”

“Listen,” he crowds around me, blocking my view of his friends who are walking up the narrow trail like it was any old walkway. “You go in front of me, I’ll have my hand on your back the whole time. I won’t let you fall. I promise.”

I look up into those gentle eyes and swallow my fear. “Okay.”

“I promise it will be so worth it,” he gushes, his excitement uncaged now that I’d agreed. “There’s no lights there so the stars are so bloody bright--I know you’re going to love it!”

I can’t help it, my lips crack into a smile at his boyish excitement. He catches it and pauses, a breath in this whirlwind of a night. What started out as a house party turned into a walk to a local beach which turned into a hike into the woods and up a precarious--and very steep--ridge to get to an isolated lookout. Only with Harry did I find myself in these situations. And I loved it. I loved him, I realise then. My expression must change because he tugs on my hand, probably worried I’d change my answer.

“Walk ahead,” he instructs and I nearly tip toe on the ridge that’s at least 30 feet across. But his steady hand on my back pushes me gently and I walk across confidently until I look down 2/3 of the way. I freeze in place but Harry’s ready. “Y/N, you’re safe here. Look at me-look...”

I crane my neck and he grounds me, oh my god how did I just realise now how in love I was with him? He squeezes my hand, asks if I was okay. I had to be, I couldn’t stay stuck in the middle.

Inch by inch we finally make it to the other side and I jump off with a yelp which sets Harry off in a burst of laughter. Pretty soon he’s lifted me over his shoulder and carries me to the lookout on the edge. My feet had been through enough, he’d said.

And he was right--it was so worth it; the view with all the stars laid out. The buildings and their light pollution below were blocked out by the outcrops and it made the stars twinkle in all their glory. It made it the perfect place to be with the person I loved.

“Isn’t it the most incredible view?” Harry whispers in awe behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist.

“I.....I have no words apparently,” I laugh and turn in his arms. “Thanks for pushing me, this...it was worth it.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears and gazes at me in a way that makes me want to squirm. But I hold his gaze.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks with a smile.

“Compared to the view,” I glance behind us. “I guess I’m alright.”

“No,” he guides my face back towards his. “This view over that one, any day. M’just that lucky.”

My words die on my lips as I’m overwhelmed by this feeling between us, the one I thought would keep us together like this forever.

He raises an eyebrow when I go silent and I shrug, “I’m all out of words today.”

I close my eyes as he kisses my temple. I turn back around and we spend the moment in silence, drinking in the view. His friends chatter around us but they’re background noise. My life felt like a movie right now.

Before we leave as a group, I tug Harry back. This was a good as place as any to tell him. I press my lips to his, and it takes him a second but he’s kissing me back. Before it can get carried away I push away and tell him what I’d been thinking all night, “I love you.”

He takes a step back, and then he’s grinning and pulling me back. “I love you! I love you listen, I’ve been wanting to say that for weeks!”

“Weeks?!”

“Yeah weeks! My sister said it was too soon, I might scare you off!”

I think about a few weeks ago, I was intensely shy around him even then. Maybe she was right, but the idea that he talked about me to his sister makes me flush. I wrap my arms around his waist “I just...this moment is so perfect. I never want it to end.”

“It doesn’t have to.” he’d promised. “I’m yours forever Y/N.”

When 8:30 comes and goes I call April, she lets me know where they were. “We’re so happy you’re coming! Are you sure you don’t want us to meet you somewhere else?” she shouts into the phone. When I tell her I just wanted to be where they were she reminds me to text them when I was nearby.

I have to dig into the back of my closet, past the pantsuits I wore to work, the casual dresses and loungewear. I still had some of my old party clothes, just a bit tighter than they used to be. But for where I was going, it would fit in.

Before I leave, I take a pen and scrawl a note: “Great talk"

My friends spot me as I walk in. The music is instantly too loud, the lights too bright, and there are too many people. But one of my them shoves a drink in my hand and pretty soon it’s the best place on earth. It was exactly where I needed to be. I turn off my cellphone and enjoy myself.

After a certain point, I don’t even know who I’m talking to, but pressed up against a body, feeling wanted, it drives me to keep dancing all night. Eventually, I crash at April’s and don’t roll out of hers until 11 the next morning. Harry’s barely an afterthought until I’m tucked in the taxicab taking me home and turn on my phone. 8 missed calls, 2 voicemails and 13 texts.

I’m shocked at the volume, Harry hadn’t blown up my phone like this in over a year. I listen to one voicemail: “Where the hell are you? I come home an hour late and you’re bloody gone with this stupid note here. Pick up! I’ve called you a billion times.”

I stare at my phone, I hadn’t heard Harry this passionate since...well it was a long time. And all it took was going out late and not answering his calls, giving him a taste of his own medicine. It almost makes me angrier; I had to partake in this juvenile dance to get his attention, even though we’d been married nearly 2 years.

He’s on a call when I get home, talking numbers or something. I head directly to the shower, clean up, and take my sweet time. It must’ve driven him mad waiting for me because by the time I’m out he blows a gasket.

“What’s this stunt you pulled last night? Wanting to talk and leaving me a stupid sarcastic note just because I’m late? Where were you?”

“Out,” I shrug. “I didn’t know you were late. You didn’t text.”

“I didn’t tex--oh I see, now we’re being petty yeah?”

That irked me, “I’m not being petty. It’s not like I get the same courtesy when you’re out late!”

“I’m busy, I can’t always be texting you!”

Excuses, I laugh and he looks at me like I’m crazy. “Busy what? Screwing other women-”

“Don’t be making shit up-”

“I’ve had people tell me that they see you with other women Harry! S’not a far stretch!”

That quiets him. Finally, he comes forward to stand inches away. “Y/N, c’mon. You and me...this is stupid. Sure I go out to party but I’m not-”

“Stop.” he was actually trying to talk his way out of this. And because I’d rather step in front of an oncoming train than cry in front of him, I head to the front door and walk out. I’d find someplace to crash today, but I wasn’t doing this.

***

“How’re you doing?” Janelle asks. I’d shown up at her doorstep and she set up her guest bed. She had plans so I spent most of my time burying myself in work, trying to get rid of all that angry energy pent up in me. Janelle had just come home.

“I’m just trying to move on. I don’t want to talk about him, I just don’t care at this point--I’m fed up!”

“As you should be,” she agrees. “Listen, I know we had a crazy night yesterday but I’m going out with some friends today and...maybe it’ll help you?”

I think about the killer headache this morning, but I also remember how good it felt to forget for a bit. I agree. Before I know it, Janelle’s found something that fits me and we’re back at a different club than the night before. Her friends are familiar faces but after a few drinks we’re all best friends. It feels great. Until I spot Harry’s face.

“That’s enough,” his face looms over mine as he pushes away the man I’m up against.

“What the fuck Harry...” I trail off as he pulls me away from the middle of the crowd. I try to pry his hand off but there’s too many people and he’s moving too quickly...and I’ve had a lot of drinks. “Let me go!” I say when we finally step away. We’re in what must be a private room. He seemed familiar with it--of course.

“So just because you heard I’m out and about some nights, you decide to come here and fuck around with random men?”

“Excuse me?” I stare at him, he was out of his mind. “I’m out having fun with my friends! I’m not here because of you.”

“Really? You come to the same place I come to all the time and dance with these strangers? And you’re drunk as fuck!”

“Since when did you care?” I ask. “Just leave me alone. You’ve been doing that perfectly fine the last few months.”

“I’m your bloody husband Y/N, you can’t just-”

“Then act like one!” I shout, and in the muffled quiet of the room with the bass thumping through it rings out. “I don’t need you! And you made it clear you don’t need me. These rings are a fucking joke, here-” I take mine off and throw it at him.

“You don’t mean it-”

“I do.” I give him a level stare, suddenly clear-headed. Maybe I’d process it later, but right now I was finally seeing what he’d become. He deserved to feel how I felt, and quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck. I flip him with both hands, “Quite frankly Harry, you can suck my d-”

“Harry!” A shrill voice rings out from the entrance that now carries the loud beats of the dance floor, swallowing my words. “Liam told me you were here!”

I glance at the brunette in the doorway and back at him. I couldn’t even muster an eye roll; I had enough.

“Y/N!” Harry calls my name as I walk out.

“No it’s me, Becky?!” she tries to correct him. I can’t help but laugh as I make my way back to my friends with a drink in my hand, feeling free.

***

“Y/N, it’s Harry. I don’t know how it got this shite just please call me back. Just give me five minutes that’s all I n--message deleted”

“He’s moved on to the office phone then?” Janelle asks, her desk was beside mine so she’d heard him as I checked my messages. It was two weeks since that glorious night when I’d dumped Harry’s ass. Although a lot of my things were still at our house, I was just staying in a hotel right now while I figured things out. One thing I knew for sure though, I didn’t want to see him again.

“It’s pretty pathetic,” I say. It was also pathetic how long I’d stayed waiting around for us to be magically fixed. But that was something I was working on getting past.

“You’re glowing without him,” April says from where she’s getting her files together. “Haven’t you got that showing out east?”

“Yeah, oh god is that the time?” I rush to get my files in order. “I’ll catch up with you later-”

“We’re still getting drinks after?”

“Yes, drinks!” I call out as I leave the office and head down to the lobby. I don’t expect Harry there, and I barely have time for him as he comes up to keep my pace.

“Harry, I’ve got somewhere to be please leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait just please listen to me.”

“No.”

“2 minutes!”

“Not even 1,” I spot my cab out front and head towards it. I’m about to get in but Harry holds the door. “Harry let go I’m going to be late.”

“Just let me talk to you, please!”

I finally look at him and he’s quite a sight. His hair is matted and without it’s usual bounce. He’s got a rough look and a 5 ‘o clock shadow.

“You had plenty of time to talk to me for months, you were too busy at the club. Sorry not sorry,” I tug at the door and he lets go, I don’t spare a backwards glance as we drive away.

One of the showings is successful, I manage to sell the family on the home and we set up a meeting to go over details at my office later in the week. I’ve got a bounce in my step as I return to the office. I tell the girls I’d meet them at the bar as I finalize my papers at the office. My bounce falters when I go head out after 5 to see Harry waiting outside the building.

“Y/N,” he calls out when he sees me. “I’m not going to leave until you talk to me.”

“That’s called stalking,” I say. A few people walking past us turn to glance at him and he notices. He moves to the inside lobby and asks me to follow. With a big sigh I do.

“I know what I did.” he begins.

“Congratulations,” I roll my eyes.

“No wait, I know what I did to you. And sorry can’t cover it. Just let me make it up to you, we have history and-”

“You don’t get it.” I stop his monologue from going any further. “I’m gonna be just fine. Without you. You didn’t care about our history until you couldn’t have me. I don’t know what happened to you Harry, but you’re not the man I fell in love with-”

“I know,” he says, tears of frustration coating his lashes. “I fucked up, I-I didn’t see what I had right in front of me and I just-”

“Let her slip away? Is that the best you can come up with?” I scoff. “You know what Harry? I’m done with this! Boy...bye.”

“Y/N just--” he grabs my arm before I can leave and pushes something cold into my palm. My wedding ring.

“I don’t want this,” I push it back in his hand.

“Please just take it--hold onto it,” he pushes it back into mine and closes my fingers over it. “I can’t...I can’t hold onto it just take it! You don’t even have to think about it-”

“Harry,” I soften my tone. He was desperate and even though some part of me thought it was about time he felt this type of way, my heart hurt a little. I didn’t want him to see that though so I just tuck the ring into the pocket of his button up and pat it. “Goodbye Harry.”

I walk away with my head held high even though he calls out to me. I walk the few blocks to where my friends are waiting and their warm smiles are enough to help me push the memory of Harry’s teary eyes, and the real history we did have once upon a time away. I was done with him, no longer thinking about him.

I just kept telling myself, I was rare like a gem and I had to see that. And maybe one day, someone else will too.

[polygamyff]

60.

I have woke up to my mobile being so alive, I am so shook. The amount of drama has drained my battery, well I am shook because I am verified. Leon was straight screaming in my messages about it, I mean who would have thought being with a billionaire alone makes you verified, but I am excited as shit. In celebration of my verification I thought I would post a little throwback of Maurice and I when we went to Bey’ home, it’s also Thursday so it’s throwback Thursday. I mean it wasn’t a real old picture but still, I mean I just want to add to the fact I am verified. This picture Bey took of us when we were discussing the clubs, I look like I am listening but honestly I do not know what they are saying, Jay is looking at me talking and I am just staring into thin air. Adding a caption to the picture ‘Photo by @Beyonce: The Carters x The Davenports’ I mean it’s simple and cute and I am flexing, I giggled to myself “you creating all that noise man” Maurice complained at the side of me “please, let me have fun. I am verified! Aye!!” I shouted, Maurice huffed out turning in the bed, I have officially woke him up “I told you Rich would be on it, and look at that” Rich didn’t lie to me, looking over Maurice stretching out “how is the gym coming along?” his skinny ass is something else “why do I need the gym? I am not fat” I snorted laughing “you’re not fat but what about bulking up a little bit?” Maurice frowned at me “that is rude, so you don’t love me for who I am?” Maurice turned his face to me, I grinned at him “I love you; I am joking. I just love to you annoy you, you are literally my dream man. I don’t like those big bulky men anyways, but please celebrate with me, I am verified” Maurice rolled his eyes as he turned onto his side and hugged onto my torso “move your arm up” Maurice said, moving my arm up so he can rest his head on my chest “on my boob though” I spat, resting my arm on his head.

Bey’ fans are crazy and have taken over my Instagram comments “are you ready for today, meeting my dad at Sacramento, I got a jet for us. I said a jet because my sister is still using mine” moving my phone a little away from my face just seeing Maurice rubbing my stomach “my stomach that big? It ain’t that big just yet” he is cute “nah, just you know. Letting Jell-O know I am here” he is stupid “to be honest I am not looking forward to seeing your dad but I am going to have to do this run through but knowing your dad we will like the venue, he likes luxury so it will be just that. I just find it weird how your dad can switch off his feelings and act like he didn’t do what he did and is acting like everything is ok, but I am not tripping. I am going to do this because this bitch needs to get married, I am sick of just fucking around now. This is our time” Maurice has yet to tell his dad who we don’t want there, pressing a kiss to the side of his head “yeah, just you know dad be driving me crazy, he is going to start talking about the family name and I really don’t care about it. I think he will listen to you, it’s like he respects you. He hates my ass I guess; I think he knows that you will take Reign away from him. He kept texting saying about Reign, I am like don’t worry she is coming. I am just nervous, about us getting married. Not in a bad way just like wedding nerves. I want it to be so perfect for us, and also experience marriage properly for the first time” I cooed out “you going to cry when you see me in my dress?” I grinned “I will cry seeing you and Reign, damn. I will be crying that I have to deal with your bougie ass, you bougie but be fronting” I laughed out “lying ass” I mean he isn’t lying but I like to think I am not that at all, I think I am not spoilt.

Leon shrieked out “he is my verified bitch, come here!!” Leon ran at me “I am stank right now” I said but Leon hugged me anyways “girl, seeing you at the event. I was feeling it so much, the dress, the look, the poses. Jacob and I was straight vibing seeing you on CNN too” Leon is such a sweetheart “I always said you was destined to be big” hearing Reign yelp out “sorry baby, I am coming” Leon ran around the couch “what y’all got going on there?” peaking over “we playing dolls, I don’t know what is even happening anymore” I chuckled, “morning mommy” walking into the kitchen “morning Robbie” kissing her cheek “you preparing for a feast?” I asked laughing “well we are going on a trip Robbie, I need to be prepared” my mom is here packing “we are coming back, by tonight we will be back” I chuckled “you never know, so Thomas called” letting out an oh “he said that a lawyer has contacted him about this home” I smirked “he said he doesn’t want things to be so bitter but if you want to play that game we can” pulling a face “you know what, he wants war I will give it him. He is jealous and spiteful, mom don’t worry. He got a lot coming to him-” I stopped midway as the conversation got interrupted “he will be also getting a cease and desist; he is trying to put a story out about me hitting him. Robyn, can you make me food” Maurice came out of nowhere “he is!?” I spat “yes, it’s nothing. Lorraine is dealing with it but make me something. I am hungry” nodding my head, Maurice made his way to the dining table with his Macbook in hand.

Watching Maurice talking to Shawn, he is busy working. I can tell he is on work mode “if you not going to help then girl, get out of the kitchen” my mom nudged me to move, I chuckled “calm down woman” I huffed out “I am just trying to hear what he saying to Shawn” I said in a whisper, let me just stop being a creep and just sit next to him, he won’t mind. Making my way to the dining table, peaking over at Leon and Reign before I did, they are just fine together. Pulling the chair out and sitting down, I wonder what they saying to be honest “yeah well I am busy you know, I really want to punch your face; you got my sister pregnant and you here running around making my sister a single mother? That is not cool, you need to fix yourself, no joke player. I am angry with you but then I know how long we been down, you just so fucked in the mind bro. I just don’t see how we can be cool again, you were supposed to be my best man, now I ain’t even got that. I honestly don’t see how we can just be cool together, how? Look you getting me very aggy, I just need time, and that means you won’t be making the cut for my wedding, let your parents know” he disconnected the call “that is not good” I said to Maurice “you right, it isn’t but I can’t just let him come. Same with Leon” I shushed him “Maurice, can you please not do this. He is my friend” Maurice got up from the chair “where are you going now” Maurice is on something today “I don’t want you to argue, seriously” I don’t want this.

I am cutting niggas left, right and center, I am not fucking with anyone that don’t know how to fuck with me, I am done with the shits. Seeing Mi Amor playing, she is building something with her blocks “girl, that is going to fall” Leon said, Reign held out the block to him “ok, one more” Leon took the block and placed it above, Reign clapped her hands before pushing it all again “girl you bugging, you just enjoy the mess and drama of it falling” clearing my throat, Reign looked at me but Leon didn’t “your daddy is there ain’t he, he is staring at me too” Leon said to Reign, she don’t care one bit she is picking up those blocks again “Maurice, can we be nice” Robyn said “I will respect your mom’ home, but I need to let him know how I don’t fuck with what happened” sitting down on the couch “I did want to speak to you Maurice, I did. I am just you know, a little scared to say anything” Leon got up from the floor “because you know you did wrong, you openly told Robyn you wanted to get at me. What kind of friend is that!?” I spat “a friend to her because you upset Robyn! Robz is my friend, I didn’t mean for that to happen, I would never do that to her. We have been out before, have I ever left you like that!? We were all lit, even before you came around we went out” Leon pointed at Robyn “we did go out, Leon knows how I felt” Robyn said “well know he can know how I feel, I helped you. Those fucking Gucci shit you wearing is because of me, I helped you and you did that to me. I liked you but you just seem like another nigga I can’t fuck with but for Robyn I have too, I don’t even want to see your face. You have really got me angry as shit” Robyn sat next to Leon “I am sorry Maurice, I know you don’t like me. Even when all this shit happened I have never let out a secret about any of you, I have never done you dirty like that at all. I knew my friendship was a mess with Robyn, I didn’t know what to say to her. But I never did any of you wrong by selling stories like everyone else did you, I don’t have much people in my life. Terry is a mother to me, I don’t have much and I will forever be in debt to you and appreciate what you did for me Maurice, I was in a bad way and you helped” Leon’ voice broke “I feel bad and I don’t think you will ever see how bad I feel because you made your mind up about it but I am sorry. It went wrong and it was never that” Reign is stumped right now; she is staring at Leon crying “he made that mistake Maurice” Robyn said.

“Your breakfast is done Maurice” Terry said, getting up from the couch because I can’t be bothered to be hearing the water works, I just don’t fuck with that shit. He fucked with the woman I love, she is just too damn friendly I guess “thank you for this Terry, you be going all out” I chuckled “aww thank you, and I just moved your laptop to the side a little. I hope you don’t mind” waving her off “it’s all good” sitting in the chair “Maurice I am sorry, maybe we won’t be thee same but I am sorry and I do care about you all so much” shuffling my chair in, he is not going to leave it and he’s really not going to leave my life either “shit will take time, that is all I am going to say” shaking my head “that is something Leon, he is hard headed so things take time with him” Robyn said “ok psychic, you know me so well huh” let me just eat my breakfast “I do actually, let’s leave him to eat. Don’t choke now” smiling at Robyn sarcastically “you kids!” Terry sighed out saying.

Staring at my laptop “man” I sighed out saying, it’s like I am applying pressure about this whole Hilton shit that now it’s turned on me, I feel like I have too much on my schedule. Typing out to Ally to skype me, something has to move around. Sitting back on the chair, because this is all new to me because I have added other shit, people want to do business with me which is amazing but one at a time, the skype call came through. Answering the call “ah, we are doing video call now. Oh wait, it’s a team thing. I think I have had enough of you all. Who got biggie on loud? I don’t pay you to have fun now” I laughed, Lorraine eyeballed the camera “listen here, I am in my own damn home! You don’t own my home” she pointed “she was twerking earlier, let’s not start her off” pulling a face “ok, I won’t be a moment, y’all can do whatever y’all like after. I see the schedule and everything, there is a lot of shit on there. So, the whole Hilton thing is yes my idea but what the fuck? Am I touring or some shit?” I am confused “you ain’t touring anything, Maurice. You are the owner of the company now, you have to meet everyone, you need to see your workers. You need to visit. I am sorry but if you want to be not involved with that then you going to look bad, I don’t mean visit every hotel in the world, just the busiest ones in the world, you do a little meeting with them, get to know them, show them you care. I mean the only way around this is split it between you and Nalah” rubbing my chin now even sure “I just don’t think will be able to do every place you telling me, I have a pregnant partner here. I think what I can do, Malik. I will have him with me, teach him. That is an option, also I see London is the place where I make the official announcement for the international takeover for Hilton, that is a day after I will be back in New York. Make it three days out from that because I have something else to do” I have that scan with Robyn “noted, we were just preparing ourselves having to put up with you” Ally said “oh wow, you all are funny. Anyways, I am going to see the wedding. See you all there” disconnecting the skype call, I am actually very busy when it comes to this takeover so I will need Malik to be on his game.

[viktorkoolla]

Anwsers From the Culture

In the middle of the night on Thursday, 22nd of May 2020, Lana Del Rey got on Instagram, and released what I'd describe as a think piece, short essay or an entry to a local newspapers opinion column.

In the post Lana expresses frustrations at how her music has been received throughout the years. She opens up about how the stories of abusive relationships her music has told are either very personal, or realistic depictions of the world we live in, but have often been seen as glamorizing toxic relationships and abuse. Whether or not Lanas music is romantization of decadence is a debate of its own, but the way she brought these issues up made many people, me included, raise their brows.

Lana felt the need to start the monologue about her experiences in the music industry by listing off other female artists who have found success over her with music she claims to be about "being sexy, wearing no clothes, fucking, cheating, etc". She seems to try to insinuate that these songs have been celebrated by the masses, while her music has received harsher critiques for not being as raunchy. First of all, Lanas music has continually been about nudity, infidelity, substance abuse, sex, drugs and rock and roll, and she's happily presented herself as an embodiment of those things. Lanas attempt at trying to distance herself from these women and seem more artistic and deep mostly works to frame the other women as shallow and vulgar. This sex-shaming sentiment is especially harmful because she almost exclusively names women of color.

Women of color have struggled with over-sexualisation, underestimation of their talent and stereotyping from the public and the industry for decades. They have had to fight for their name to be taken into consideration in a way that Lana Del Rey will never have to. Beyonce has had a solo career of over 15 years, throughout which she has proven herself as one of the most hardworking entertainers of the 2000s. She has taken the restrictions and expectations that the modern pop scene has put on female artists as performers and producers and blown them out of the water. For that she hs been framed as cocky, agressive and undeserving. Nicki Minaj singelhandedly revived the female rap scene in the 2010s and has proven herself as one of the most versatile and fluid songwriters and rappers ever. She's been called a whore, constantly parodied and had her every move nitpicked to oblivion. Lana Del Rey performs in sweatpants.

Although I doubt Lana intended to write something as tasteless as she did, the way she phrased this letter displays a clear racially insensitive pattern of white feminism. She's taking her frustrations and jealousy out on these women, using them to lift herself higher. With her position as a white woman, she's parading herself as a mistreated creative, whos artistic process has been shot down, while the other, conveniently non-white women, get to go and have number ones. It feels self-centered and ignorant. Why not direct that anger directly towards the industry? Most likely because naming the people in the industry who actually hurt your career is a lot more dangerous to your bank account and bookings than pushing other women under the bus.

Lana claims to have paved a way for other artists to write more somber music, but fails to recognize how priviledged she is in her tools to pave that way. Her early work was built on blueprints of black music and latino aesthetic. She is where she is because those stronger women she feels so slated by worked twice as hard as she has to assure she could have a shot. She is is at the height of her commercial renaissance, more succesful than she was at her debut. Lana is not poor anymore, and she is not hated by the public, nor the critics anymore. She had one of the most critically acclaimed records released last year, undenyably her best work yet, and almost won the Grammy for the album of the year for it. And who did she lose that award to? Not to Beyonce, not to Doja Cat, not to Kehlani, not to Nicki, but another white woman writing somber music about their own pain.

So why now Elizabeth? Why now of all times did you feel it was necessary to express your emotions towards the music industry? Why not last year when you didn't win the Grammy over Billie? Why not last month when Fiona Apples album got all tens with emotional, raw music about abuse, or when Shape Of You, a shallow pop song about sex was dominating the charts? Why did you pick this day? Why does seeing other women, especially women of color succeeding get you so frustrated at your own position? Meditate on that, marinate in that thought.

Has Lana Del Reys career been affected negatively by blatant sexism? Yes, absolutely. Most female artists careers have, most women in general have sexism affect their careers. It is completely valid for Lana Del Rey to say "compared to many other musicians making the kind of music I make, I've been critiqued very harshly because I am a woman." But she didn't say that. Her approach to critiquing that unfair treatment is completely tone-deaf and absurd. She presents the topic as if her career, and her career only, hasn't been able to grow to the extent that it has, and won't continue to do so, because of other women not giving her a space in feminism, and not listening to her. Ironically enough, it seems that Lana has a problem with listening to other women herself, and doesn't want to consider the impact of her music, or her words from any other side than her own.

In the first paragraph Lana presents a question: Can she go back to writing songs about her experiences in her own way without being crucified? Here's an anwser: Yes she can, she will, and she already has. It is no coincidense that on the same day Lana has also released a screenshot of herself and producer Jack Antonoff talking over video-meeting, most likely working on an upcoming album. It's completely logical to wonder if this statement was posted simply to stir up controversy, and get the attention of some of the biggest fanbases in the world. Lana is a talented marketer, and has used situations like these in her advantage before. Based on her past conflicts, she's unlikely to back down, and why would she? Every good popstar knows that controversy sells, almost as well as sex.

[bagels-and-seagulls]

oof i have not done one of these in a while but, uhhhhh, here it goes!

i was tagged by @shhhhyoursister and @thewhatgay and @nombre-appelido so that’s cool :))

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

tagging: @thesunwillshineclearer @yourstrulyjane-doe @chaotic-tender (short list, i kno, i kno)

nickname: @thesunwillshineclearer and i call each other bagel which is from this camp thing i went to and this girl was writing a gushy and embarrassing letter to her boyfriend and started it out with “dear, bagel” (becuase bae-gul) and yeah, so i started calling them that and vice versa :’) (my url comes from a time when i said they were getting demoted from bagel and someone goes “what? like a c-gull?” and that kind of stuck too) and @yourstrulyjane-doe calls me corinthian sometimes just because

zodiac sign: cancer! i kno nothing about zodiac so make that what u will!

height: 5′8″ according to my license but i think i’m getting a hunch back because of school and like furiously slouching over my desk so maybe more like 5′7.5″ these days

hogwarts house: pottermore claims i am a hufflepuff and honestly i don’t know enough to fight them on that

last thing i googled: “temporalities” because my online forum for school was telling me i was spelling it wrong but the spell check function in it doesn’t actually let u change it so i usually have to like copy the word into google and then paste it back with the right spelling 

fave musicians: oof, this is hard, matt maeson, watsky, fall out boy, brockhampton, cold war kids, lizzo, halestorm, missio, nas, supertramp, beyonce, fleetwood mac, shinedown, bishop briggs, snow tha product, bring me the horizon, mt. joy

song stuck in my head: i’ve had “all good girls go to hell” by billie eilish stuck in my head for days and therefore have been listening to the album on repeat

following: 279 wonderful blogs and tbh like 100 of them are probably inactive at this point and i should go and actually look

followers: 582 (please keep in mind that i’ve been on tumblr for 8+ years at this point and back then u didn’t make side blogs so this is my main and only squeeze that has been cultivated through like 97 hiperfixations) 

do you get asks?: yes! mostly prompts about davenzi but sometimes other things too which is neato :))

amount of sleep: uhhhh, i mean, my week is top heavy so like monday through thursday like 4 hours a night because homework and then like 6 for the others unless i’ve decided to not set an alarm and then it’s like 8 (i wake up at 9am at the latest usually and it’s truly tragic)

what are you wearing?: red plaid pajama pants that i’ve had since i was 16 and are ratty but i refuse to throw them away and a grey tank top i got at goodwill that is also ratty but i also will never give it up

dream job: i’m stuck between running a collections department at a medium to small sized museum or going for my phd and try to become a traveling scholar for museums

dream trip: i would die to go to mexico and see the old tenochtitlan and then travel to el salvador to see oscar romero’s tomb and then spend a few weeks in guatemala and then make my way down to panama

instruments: none whomp whomp

languages: spansih, which was part of what i studied in undergrad, and then i’ve been learning k’iche’ the past two years which is a mayan language in the guatemalan highlands 

10 favorite songs: i’m just going to give u my favs right now because it changes

tempo by lizzo

the hearse by matt maeson

dance after death by matt maeson

hate me now by nas

rainbow dragon by kieyan lonsdale

mother’s daughter by miley cyrus

take the long way home by supertramp

the chain by fleetwood mac

i’m your wreck by mt. joy

didn’t know you by karmin

random fact: i’m desperately trying to adopt a ferret from a ferret rescue but they all have websites from like 2007 and therefore never see my application to adopt their ferrets and i’m debating just buying one but i also want to adopt one from one of these places

aesthetic: flare jeans, public transportation, old libraries, comfy sweaters, vintage, paintings where you can see the flaws, lizards, arm chairs, dogs, overalls, the desert, thrift shops

[rgr-pop]

I need an ENTIRE afternoon wall of noise. 4/3 music library on shuffle until I hit a killdozer song.

the thermals - “god and country” reset - "double cross" nirvana - "polly" (1986-88 home recording) nirvana - "radio friendly unit shifter" (2013 mix) peterbuilt - "sateliteyes" the dickies - "got it at the store" apocalypse hoboken - "box of pills" fiona apple - "slow like honey" tex & the horseheads - "big boss man" everclear - "the drama king" anti-flag - "america got it right" neil young - "tonight's the night, pt. ii" everclear - "brown-eyed girl" noooooooooo oh my god no please millencolin - “israelites" listen you know that i'm p tolerant when it comes to this subject but why specifically did you boys do this. specifically you useless id - "note" never accuse me of pop punk nationalism again! that's three of global pop punk the selecter - "selling out your future" built to spill - "some things last a long time" holidays - "proof" let's wrestle - "bad mammaries" radhos - "one breath" ween - "boing" bracket - "g-vibe" local h - "'cha!' said the kitty" sublime - "40oz to freedom" failure - "saturday saviour" blink-182 - "don't leave me" (tmtts live take) why did they make this live album, they were so bad live shrimp boat - "melon song" interpol - "not even jail" the ataris - "angry nerd rock" 50 million - "superhero" skankin pickle - "violent love" the breeders - "put on a side" all - "honey peeps" the commandos (suicide commandos) - "weekend warrior" suicide machines - "friends are hard to find" the eclectics - "laura" good ska block! love this band pansy division - "jack u off" rocket from the tombs - "ain't it fun" dynamite boy - "devoted" young pioneers - "downtown tragedy" the breeders - "so sad about us" fenix tx - "jean claude trans am" fuck i love this song nofx - "bob" hickey - "happily ever after" bob dylan - "tangled up in blue" (bootlegs vol. 2) gas huffer - "king of hubcaps" tullycraft - "crush this town" atom and his package - "goalie" faith no more - "the real thing" carly rae jepsen - "tell me" bis - "listen up" one direction - "still the one" mtx - "she's no rocket scientist" eugene chadbourne - "roger miller medley" grouvie ghoulies - "carly simon" white town - "thursday at the blue note" gas huffer - "moon mission" rx bandits - "sleepy tyme" everclear - "rocket for the girl" failure - "kindred" blood on the saddle - "johnny's at the fair" the distillers - "red carpet and rebellion" cruiserweight - "dearest drew" stp - "plush" everclear - "wonderful" (live, from the closure ep) (don't hate it) new found glory - "sonny" everclear - "otis redding" (impure white evil demo) (BEST song) stp - "adhesive" incubus - "have you ever" cub - "tell me now" everclear - "short blonde hair" i simply do not hate it letters to cleo - "happy ever after" amazing transparent man - “the ocean is a fuck of a long way to swim” nerf herder - “(stand by your) manatee” kitty kitty - “ab tokeless” osker - “the mistakes you made” perfume genius - “hood” radhos - “shut up & deal” (welcome to the jungle take) osker - “the body”  gas huffer - “the sin of sloth” the fall - “bombast” excuse 17 - “code red” mad season - “lifeless dead” unwritten law - “differences” hanson - “two tears” the eyeliners - “anywhere but here” moby grape - “lazy me” brian wilson - “wonderful” 88 fingers louie - “something i don’t know” sicko - “wisdom tooth weekend” the replacements - “love you till friday” suicide machines - “green world” midtown - “another boy” hickey - “cool kids attacked by flying monkeys” the roman invasion suite - “carnations” the beat - “tears of a clown” local h - “24 hour break up session” okay i’m awake i want to end this now toots & the maytals - “funky kingston” local h - “strict-9″ his name is alive - “her eyes were huge things” nirvana - “frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle” slapstick - “almost punk enough” urge overkill - “bionic revolution” janet jackson - “you want this” piebald - “long nights” small brown bike - “now i’m a shadow” the story so far - “left unsaid” crj - “more than a memory” tracy + the plastics - “my friends end parties” liz phair - “6′1″“ fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ this mix is feminist now swindle - “one track” shockabilly - “burma shave” temple of the dog - “say hello to heaven” amazing transparent man - “shove” cool soul asylum cover from dekalb illinois :)) the vindictives “eating me alive” midwests only!! the judys - “radiation squirm” gulfs only!! frogpond - “sleep” flipp - “rock-n-roll star” throwing muses - “red shoes” everclear - “santa monica” throwing muses on summerland??? mekons - “atone & forsaken” holidays - “take me home country roads” this is a good tone to lead up to killdozer... true believers - “all mixed up again” prince - “adore” beulah - “queen of the populists” eveclear - “rocky mountain high” (99x live acoustic--I don’t have a date for this actually) of montreal - “dustin hoffman thinks about eating the soap” heatmiser - “stray” rickie lee jones - “woody and dutch on the slow train to peking” tar - “viaduct removal” common rider - “carry on” the frogs - “u bastards” mudhoney - “this gift” hammerbox - “outside” fuck my mom would have loved this song if it had gotten the airplay it deserved in 1993... hammerbox on summerland!!!! letters to cleo - “little rosa” kay hanley on summerland!! nine pound hammer “wrongside of the road” hanson - “with you in your dreams” (3cg demo) hamson on summerland!!! fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ again... fastbacks on summerland!!! face to face - “sensible” soul asylum - “happy” soul asylum on summerland!!!! television - “see no evil” pinq - “careful not to mention the obvious” the dickies - “nights in white satin” tar - “mel’s” truly - “chlorine” babes in toyland - “deep song” hole - “berry” hellbender - “half driven” hammerhead  - “new york? ...alone?” everclear - “malevolent” guzzard - “last”  archers of loaf - “tatyana” hum - “stars” hum on summerland die kreuzen - “don’t say please” this is not fair joanna newsom - “sadie” down by law - “peace, love and understanding” nirvana - “aneurysm” (1990 demo) hovercraft - “endoradiosonde” modest mouse - “cowboy dan” rage against the machine - “born of a broken man” skatalites - “scandal ska” pylon - “driving school” the vindictives - “babysitter” jimmy eat world - “ten” the get up kids - “lowercase west thomas” oh we’re doing this now? hot rod circuit - “knees” fine triple fast action - “the rescue” FINE  full disclosure i do skip emo diaries tracks at my discretion the amps - “bragging party” everclear - “am radio” this is not fair mxpx - “middlename” MXPX ON SUMMERLAND chokebore - “your let down” bob dylan - “you’re a big girl now” helmet - “primitive” pond - “filterless” blink-182 - “all the small things” local h - “ralph” tar - “over and out” pearl jam - “black” the gits - “sniveling little rat faced git” local h - “eddie vedder” >:) tar - “flow plow” i always misremember this as a subpop single so i’m like “i’m not amphetamine reptile biased?” but it was an a/r release, lol. brad wood produced it. lake michigan as hell  unicorns - “jellybones” this song makes me sad ever since i didn’t get to adopt the jellybones cat oblivion - “clark” desmond dekker - “jeserene” veruca salt - “one last time” veruca salt on summerland!!!! dead moon - “dead moon night” extremely dead moon on summerland fishbone - “i like to hide behind my glasses” dead moon - “on my own” paw - “sleeping bag” tar - “goethe” doc dart - “casket with flowers” smashing pumpkins - “zero” i don’t want billy corgan on summerland and i am sorry for that kicking giant - “&” kicking giant on summerland lmao shockabilly - “pile up all architecture” ween - “sorry charlie” sublime - “april 29, 1992 (miami)” heatmiser - “blackout” the clash - “pressure drop” hellbender - “pissant’s retrospective” the queers - “i won’t be” the vindictives - “circles” the beat farmers - “selfish heart” screaming trees - “end of the universe” 7 year bitch - “second hand” bourgeois filth - “above” nirvana - “scoff” the breeders - “cannonball” saturday looks good to me - “save my life” cara beth satalino - “good ones” communique - “dagger version” soul asylum - “sometime to return” sublime - “jailhouse” tullycraft - “twee” nuns - “wild” beyonce - “countdown” the replacements - “sixteen blue” living colour - “what’s your favorite color” britney - “why should i be sad” mdc - “church and state” alice in chains - “junkhead” rage against the machine - “mic check” everclear - “nervous and weird” soundgarden - “fresh tendrils” helmet - “army of me” the gits - “it all dies anyway” pansy division - “smells like queer spirit” mtx - “i’d do anything for you” 5 year sentence - “just a punk” pennywise - “nothing” mudhoney - “thirteenth floor opening” yesterday’s kids - “eighteen” mxpx - “punk rawk show” small brown bike - “zerosum” incubus - “trouble in 421″ hanson - “speechless” incubus - “circles” dead moon - “my time has come” (!!!!) first of all is this killdozer blink-182 - “here’s your letter” everclear - “electra made me blind” (nervous & weird take) saves the day - “through being cool” groovie ghoulies - “don’t go out into the rain (you’re gonna melt)” babes in toyland - “never” husker du - “target” guzzard - “biro” fairweather - “next day flight” mcr - “house of wolves” broadcast - “until then” liz phair - “never said” the dicks - “rich daddy” quasi - “the iron worm” mustard plug - “not again” janitor joe - “boyfriend” snapcase - “new academy” neil young - “someday” blindsided - “spaceman” placebo - “without you i’m nothing” the creeps - “lakeside cabin” solomon grundy - “time is not your own” the clash - “the card cheat” silversun pickups - “common reactor” lagwagon - “leave the light on” denali - “where i landed” system of a down - “highway song” sprinkler - “personality doll” the vindictives - “structure and function” unplugged” the queers - “ursula finally has tits” we’re entering no repeats territory  buffalo springfield - “expecting to fly” hit squad - “pictures of matchstick men” cows - “almost a god” hop along - “young and happy” pixies - “i’ve been tired” the fall - “spoilt victorian child” camper van chadbourne - “knock on the door” queens of the stone age - “tension head” choking victim - “war story” cool that we have gotten to drop by the greatest song ever recorded :) guttermount - “happy loving couples” audio karate - “nintendo 89″ tad - “pork chop” the kelley deal 6000 - “where did the home team go” colorfinger - “hateful” :} man or astroman - “evil plans of planet spectra” pere ubu - “arabian nights” accepting repeats for  new found glory - “my friends over you” cool moving on american steel - “optimist” tom petty & the heartbreakers - “even the losers” meat puppets - “another moon” black cat music - “wine in a box” wallside - “ready” crucifucks - “pig in a blanket” the bananas - “my charmed life”

KILLDOZER - “EARL SCHEIB,” UNCOMPROMISING WAR ON ART UNDER THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE PROLETARIAT, 1994. KILLDOZER ON SUMMERLAND

[datesfordummies]

How do you get over someone who doesn't love you anymore?

I’m gonna copy and past an old getting over someone post and then edit out some irrelevant bits ((not because im lazy just bc this post is pretty good))

I’ve started reading more feel good books. NOT romances! I’ve heard a lot of people turn to Wild. I personally started with Spineless by Juli Berwarld and then moved to The Tao of Pooh (both wonderful pieces of nonfiction)

Fill your playlists with really empowering women singing about their independence. I like to listen to the first half of Lemonade like the songs that Beyonce wrote when she was still mad as hell at J and his shit

but also take some time before that to listen to some sad, moody music bc you gotta get into your feelings before you can get out, ya feel?

Take up a super empowering hobby or passion project that really motivates you so you have something to start filling your mind and spare time with. If you are 18+ you can take up pole dancing. it has changed my life tbh! I’m so much more confident and also physically healthy, which it’s true that your physical health directly affects your mental health like damn. plus it is super fun and now instead of thinking about him or things i could’ve done/ said to make things better or whatever, i just think about like new pole moves to learn and choreography and what song i want to freestyle to next and it’s honestly great

and of course they will cross your mind. when that happens and i catch myself, i stop take a few breaths, look in the mirror, remind myself a few times that i live for me and then i take a hot sec to admire my cute ass self and just really appreciate that like i’m here and i have myself?

most importantly, like take yourself or your friends on dates! there was this place where he and i would always go to eat together (idk why i’m being cryptic, it was ihop and it’s still my favorite pancakes in town) so i’ve re-purposed it as like me and my friend’s place. and thursdays was our day bc we both have that day off work so now i take myself to the movies and then do something new around town every week and i look forward to thursdays so much now

like, just do something that makes you happy every day and you will start to forget why men are even here lol

sorry if this is very ranty but i hope it helps and feel free to dm if you wanna chat, bc i’m kinda on the tail end of an extremely similar situation!

[discovering-ellie]

August 29, 2021 - Post Four

Okay, okay, Day Sixteen.

I've got to admit, you guys, today was a pretty rough one for me. It was just one of those days where it felt like Murphy's Law was in full effect despite my best efforts to keep chugging along. I went through 3 big emotion cycles in the course of a couple of hours, so my motivation to do anything is pretty well down the drain. Admittedly, that's a little bit of a disappointment because I kind of wanted to take myself to the Halloween store today. Maybe I'll go tomorrow after my session with Kelly.

As it is, I've also been pretty down on myself for having a hard time with finding motivation to do things like keep up with my dishes or my laundry. I was doing so well with these things not that long ago and now I'm like "hahahaha, not doing it!" Hell, I haven't even taken my vitamins since Thursday. At least I can say that I'm still taking my meds, but I feel like so many of my other routines are starting to fall by the wayside again and I don't really know what I should do to pull myself back from that.

I know, I know. Healing is not linear. There are going to be high highs and low lows.

Anyway, yes. This card. Let's go!

Front: "Walk the walk"

Back: "Physical movement -- such as running, dancing, or active sports -- brings us into the moment. When our attention is resting with the body and its movements, there is less room for agitating thoughts to spin us into worry. This restful but dynamic state is available all the time, and the best way to encourage it is to put all your attention on how walking feels as you're doing it. Let yourself become the walking, and enjoy how connecting and peaceful that experience can be."

My Interpretation: I'm from New Jersey, you guys. Walking is FAR from restful for me. Walking is always done with PURPOSE and very, very quickly. I can't really remember the last time I've just gone for a leisurely walk around my block. I've been wanting to, but the weather has just been so very hot and I haven't remembered to clean out the bladder for my water backpack. Even a few weeks back when I went for a walk to some park, I found it hard to really enjoy myself because of how hot and sweaty I was. Damn, I need to clean out that water bladder.

Plan of Action: I need to make an effort to actually take more leisurely walks. Yeah, okay, I'm on my feet all day and I don't know how to slow down, but sometimes I really need to make myself do that. Step one: Clean the water bladder. Step two: Go for more walks outside.

DBT Skills Card Update: I mean.... does saying that I don't like being talked to like I'm not believed count? I don't know that it does, but I've got nothing else. Like I said yesterday, I might just switch this card up because I'm always going to have to work on establishing valued relationships anyway.

ACT Skills Update: OHHHHHH BOY, this is going to be a long one. I apologize in advance. Like I said in the beginning of this post, it's been a DAY and, yeah... Three big feels in one damn day.

#1 *What was the emotion? - Nervousness *How long did it last? - 15-20 minutes *What triggered it? - Honestly, I got too deep into my thoughts, second guessing myself. *How did it physically feel? - It was like a heaviness and tenseness in the center of my chest *What was my reaction? - I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly a couple of times and practiced my expansion technique. Honestly, after that first day, it's been pretty easy to remember to use defusion and expansion

#2 *What was the emotion? - Stress *How long did it last? - 15-ish minutes *What triggered it? - Technical issues involving the printer. This printer has been on its way out for a while and it essentially decided to give up today. I explained the issue with the printer after troubleshooting as best as I could with what I had, and then had to repeat myself a couple of times. After a while, it felt like I wasn't being listened to or believed, and that stressed me out. *How did it physically feel? - Tenseness in my shoulders. *What was my reaction? - I took deep breaths, stated that I felt like I wasn't being listened to or believed, and then quietly practiced expansion before stress crying. Yeah. There were definitely some stress tears.

#3 *What was the emotion? - Sadness *How long did it last? - 20 minutes or so *What triggered it? - I couldn't pick out a trigger in that moment -- I STILL can't even figure out what triggered it. Though, it was a pretty rough morning, so maybe I was just coming back down from everything that had gone on. *How did it physically feel? - Tenseness in my shoulders and in the center of my chest * What did I do? - Tried my self-compassion break phrases, practiced expansion, definitely cried (again). I even tried listening to some music to take my mind off of how the day had been going, but I couldn't settle on a song.

Overall, I'm just pretty disappointed with how this day has gone. I feel like I probably could've handled myself better but then, like, HOW? I didn't have any outbursts aside from when I said I didn't feel like I was believed. I didn't get into any arguments. I've completed my tasks despite setbacks. I've managed to get myself to do my dishes and now I'm finally writing all of this. While I -feel- like I could have and should have done better, I just don't know what that means, exactly. Like, calm down, Beyonce. There's always tomorrow.

Which leads us to my new affirmation for the week. Let's wrap up this sad girl ish with some words of affirmation, yeah? Let's go.

"I'm allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to be healthy. I'm allowed to have a wonderful life."

[savetopnow]

2018-03-08 22 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

What's going on Thursday?

tours announced: Mitski, Young Fathers, Twin Shadow, Ashley Monroe, more

Tribeca Film Festival 2018 lineup & tickets

Lily Allen preps new LP, touring, playing NYC in April (listen to "Trigger Bang")

Thursday add two more 'Full Collapse' & 'War All The Time' NYC shows

Consquence of Sound

Hall of Faces: “Who’s the Greatest Character in the Marvel Cinematic TV Universe?”

Album Review: EarthGang Appear Poised for Stardom on Royalty

Michael B. Jordan offers to buy teen new retainer after she broke hers while watching Black Panther

Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman reunite for crafting competition show Making It

Mo Pop Festival 2018 lineup: Bon Iver, The National, St. Vincent lead the way

Fact Magazine

Wave is a wearable MIDI ring controller for making music with gestures

Equiknoxx, Tim Hecker, Telefon Tel Aviv and more announced for MUTEK San Francisco

Thrush Metal songwriter Stella Donnelly is a feminist folk hero on the rise

5ive Beatz – Against The Clock

Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland facing prison spell after pleading guilty to fraud

Fluxblog

Hopes Or Holidays

An Emotional Sexual Bender

Straight To Your Face

The Last Year Has Been Kinda Rough

Radion Beams Casting Vibrant Views

Idolator

Mariah Carey On Pioneering Pop-Rap Collaborations, Grammy Snubs & New Music

James Bay Announces ‘Electric Light’ LP, Drops Buzz Track “Pink Lemonade”

Years & Years Explore A Bold New Pop Sound On “Sanctify”

Sade Returns With Dreamy Ballad “Flower Of The Universe”

Ariana Grande’s 4th Album Was Produced By Pharrell & Max Martin

Listen to This

Tommy Neal -- Going To A Happening [Northern Soul/Rare Grooves] (1968)

Acetone -- All The Time [Indie Rock/Slowcore/Americana/] (1997)

The Bled -- You Know Who's Seatbelt [Mathcore/Melodic Hardcore] (2003)

The Beths -- Whatever [Indie Rock] (2016)

Kristoff Krane - Leave the Summer [acoustic rap] (2009)

Popjustice

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Important service announcement for anybody intending to travel on today’s M-Train

So obviously the latest CHVRCHES track is fairly incredible

Troye Sivan interview: “I feel more fully-realised as a person”

New Music Friday: Janelle’s double-whammy and numerous other moments of wonder

Reddit Music

The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist [Electronic]

Anyone want a free ticket to Godspeed You! Black Emperor tonight at the Sinclair in Boston, 7 PM?

Rockwell - Somebody’s Watching Me [pop]

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord [Folk Rock] (1970)

Fyre Festival Promoter Billy McFarland Pleads Guilty To Fraud

Rolling Stone

Hear DJ Khaled Read Open Letter to Son: 'Love Can Change Everything'

Beyonce and Jay-Z's First 'On the Run' Tour, Song by Song

Cranberries Will Release New Album, 25th Anniversary Reissue

Q-Tip Named Advisor of Kennedy Center's New Hip-Hop Culture Council

Hear James Bay's New Rock Song 'Pink Lemonade' Ahead of 'SNL' Debut

Slipped Disc

Were you reading Slipped Disc yesterday?

ENO appoints its next short-order chief

College bans men-only concert programmes

Seiji Ozawa is hospitalised for a month

Canadians replace suspended conductor

Spotify Blog

Spotify Kicks off Women’s History Month with the Launch of ‘Amplify,’ a New Hub Spotlighting Causes & Community Voices

Spotify’s Electrifying Concert Series “RapCaviar Live” Returns with a New Tour Lineup featuring Migos, 2 Chainz, Tory Lanez, DJ Mustard, Lil Pump, and more

When It Comes to Sex, The Weeknd Delivers as Spotify’s Sexiest Artist This Valentine’s Day

Spotify Launches New Songwriter Credits Feature

Spotify Launches Good As Hell Podcast in Partnership with Refinery29, Hosted by Lizzo

We Are the Music Makers

How to create "Tavern" sounding strings?

Free De-Esser 64-Bit Plugins?

Go to drum collections for contemporary pop music (Katy Perry, Max Martin...)

Any LA music makers know where to jam?

Bandcamp Subscription

[latestnews2018-blog]

Ariana Grande’s ‘Sweetener’: 5 things to know

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/ariana-grandes-sweetener-5-things-to-know/

Ariana Grande’s ‘Sweetener’: 5 things to know

It’s the singer’s first album since the fatal bombing at her May 2017 concert in Manchester

Pete Davidson recently told GQ that he has wanted to marry Ariana Grande since he first met her, and one need only look to the past 48 hours to understand why. The pop star exudes self-confidence and sheer talent, as seen last week in a Carpool Karaoke segment.

She showcased her powerhouse vocals on Thursday in a moving tribute to Aretha Franklin on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon and again in her latest studio album.

Sweetener, which debuted over the weekend, marks Grande’s first album since the fatal bombing at her May 2017 concert in Manchester, England. It serves as Grande’s way of telling listeners that everything is going to be all right, an uplifting message woven through 47 minutes of pop and R’n’B.

Here’s what to know about the 15-track album:

It branches out from Grande’s previous work.

Grande promised fans that Sweetener would be different from her past synth-pop hits, telling the Fader in May, “I’ve always just been like a shiny, singing, 5-6-7-8, sexy-dance… sexy thing. But now it’s like, ‘OK… issa bop — but issa message.”

She emphasised on Twitter: “I told y’all I wanted to go somewhere new. I went somewhere new… I feel at home here.”

Producers Max Martin and Ilya contributed a great deal to Grande’s 2016 album Dangerous Woman, and they split the task this time with longtime Grande collaborator Tommy Brown, Pharrell Williams, and a few others. Martin and Ilya are responsible for singles no tears left to cry (she uses lowercase for her titles) and God is a woman, which recall some of Grande’s older dance-pop work. So does the Brown-produced R’n’B track better off. But Pharrell switched things up by bringing his trademark funk and eclectic beats to six tracks, including those featuring Nicki Minaj (the light is coming) and Missy Elliott (borderline).

It contains a song about Grande’s fiance named, well, pete davidson.

We are more aware of Pete Davidson than ever before, which the comedian attributes to his being engaged to “a super-famous person.” He’s right — tabloids have spent the entire summer obsessing over the whirlwind relationship. (Their best couple name is “Grandson,” if you were wondering.) Neither one has shied away from addressing their relationship on social media, but Grande went a step further by literally singing Davidson’s praises in Sweetener. She calls him her soulmate and says that the “universe must have my back.”

The track was once just named Pete, but Grande tweeted in July that she likes the way pete davidson looks better: “Music lasts forever. it’ll outlive any tattoo, any memory, any anything, even myself so I want my love for him and how I feel to be a part of that.”

It also contains a reworked Beyonce demo.

The album’s R.E.M sounds like another Pharrell production that first surfaced online last year — a Beyonce demo called Wake Up. A fan asked on Twitter about the connection after Grande teased her song in July, to which the singer responded, “it’s an entirely new song now but the hook was so dreamy… it had to find a home I think it’ll be one of your favs.” (The tweet also includes some lovely cloud emoji.)

It is unclear why the song hopped from one diva to another, but the Pharrell connection probably has something to do with it.

Sweetener also includes a nod to Grande’s professed idol, Imogen Heap, turning the latter’s Goodnight and Go into goodnight n go, a radio-friendly, bass-heavy rendition. Grande referred to it as a “remix & a cover” of a song by “the woman who inspired my every move.”

It gives Grande space to open up about her mental health.

The last track, get well soon, guides listeners through an anxiety attack and back to stability: “They say my system is overloaded / Girl, what’s wrong with you? Come back down. I’m too much in my head, did you notice?”

Grande tweeted to a fan in May that her anxiety made her feel like she was outside of her body: “I felt like I was floating for like 3 months last year [and] not in a nice way.” She told the Fader in a piece published the next day that she wrote the lyrics to get well soon right after an attack.

“The thing that makes me feel OK with opening up and finally allowing myself to be vulnerable is that I know [my fans] feel the same feelings,” she said. “I have fans that have become friends of mine… I played [the song] for them before I played it for my label. They were like, ‘Thank you,’ when they heard that one.”

It dedicates 40 seconds of silence to the Manchester bombing victims.

The musical portion of get well soon ends at the 4:42 mark, but the track includes a moment of silence that brings the full length to 5 minutes and 22 seconds — a nod to May 22, the date of her show at Manchester Arena.

[tune-collective]

Why Jay Z's '4:44' Is the Perfect Album for the Twitter Era

Why Jay Z's '4:44' Is the Perfect Album for the Twitter Era

What you about to witness is my thoughts Just my thoughts, man — right or wrong Just what I was feeling at the time

The hardest thing to achieve as a world-famous, millionaire-going-on-billionaire rapper is a sense of spontaneity. JAY-Z has been a businessman and/or business, maaaan for such a long time now that nearly every move he’s made has long felt inherently workshopped, focus-grouped and plotted to the finest detail — when the stakes are so high, you can’t leave anything to chance. In 2001, a still-ascendant Jigga could advertise his album as an off-the-cuff collection of disparate trains of thought and the idea was at least mildly plausible; in 2017, such rawness seems like it should be impossible from Shawn Carter.

The few glimpses that we have gotten in the past few years of a relatively unfiltered JAY-Z, though, have come in the form of sporadic Twitter splurges he’s indulged in from his @S_C_ account — like the #FactsOnly Q&A spree he went on after the release of Magna Carta Holy Crail in 2013, and just a couple weeks ago, the “people that have inspired me” series of shoutouts he offered before his induction into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. They’re disorganized, they have tons of typos, they show the level of Twitter mastery of somebody who only uses social media a handful of times a year — but they more or less feel real, which for someone of JAY-Z’s stature is an increasingly rare and refreshing thing, especially for longtime fans who’ve felt increasingly disconnected from the MC along his journey from Marcy to Bel-Air.

At midnight on Thursday (June 29), JAY-Z released his 13th solo LP, 4:44, as a TIDAL and Sprint exclusive, and the most immediately striking thing about the album upon first listen was its conversational directness. JAY makes up for lost verses over the four years since his last LP by addressing everything from his tarnished relationship with Kanye to his infamous elevator video with Solange to his Lemonade-inspiring unfaithfulness to Beyonce — all within the first track, “Kill Jay Z.” Making Jigga’s bars hit even harder is the fact that there are barely any choruses, big hooks or even major guest appearances on the set: The three credited guests on the set are Frank Ocean, Damian Marley and Jay Z’s own mother Gloria Carter, with full-album producer No I.D. by far the biggest other voice on the set, interjecting it with samples from Stevie Wonder, Lauryn Hill and Nina Simone whenever Shawn seems to need a breather.

It’d be easy to view the album as defiantly uncommercial, if not downright experimental in its practically free-associative nature. But while the set will almost certainly be a non-starter at radio — ask JAY what the first single from the set is, and watch him cackle in response — the rapper has wisely learned, probably from no one more than his own wife, that the FM dial has been replaced by the Internet as the most important space for pop music to own. And that’s the way that 4:44 is designed to be consumed, debated and evaluated — as a shared social media experience, with JAY-Z firing off tweets-as-bars about O.J. Simpson, Steve Harvey, and Prince and you can practically see the likes and RTs being racked up by the thousands as you’re listening.

The new album feels like one of those just-my-thoughts Twitter deluges, S Dot caught in a (relatively) unguarded moment, sharing his feelings on topics as close to home as his mother’s closeted homosexuality, the possibility of his daughter one day discovering his infidelity, and the legacy both real and intangible that he’ll leave behind when he’s dead.

And like those sprees, it’s occasionally messy — JAY’s notes about “why Jewish people own all the property in America” are pretty ill-advised, as is his “Marie Antoinette, baby, let ’em eat cake” message to his mother at the end of his otherwise affecting “Smile” verse. But the occasional lack of editing-for-content has the ultimate effect of making the set more endearing, since they seem like moments that the MC let slip because he didn’t even give himself the chance to overthink things. It’s like catching a pop star in a live vocal crack and feeling grateful to know that at least the performance isn’t lip-synced.

4:44‘s framework also made its manner of debut particularly powerful. An incidental function of the age of streaming and Global Release Fridays is that a wide number of highly anticipated releases end up being listened to for the first time in informal midnight listening parties, in which the Internet is able to react to an album in real time, the same way users would provide running commentary on an awards show or sporting event. Many of those albums aren’t really optimized for such man I should’ve gone to bed hours ago listening, but JAY-Z’s latest certainly is, allowing fans to hear it for the first time in the same mindstate that Jigga presumably recorded it, contemplative and vulnerable. It felt like a revelation, even more so because it was clear that it was dawning on so many fans around the globe at the same time and in the same way as it was dawning on you.

The second-most-immediately striking thing about 4:44 is just how quickly it ends: Ten tracks, 36 minutes, and it’s out. In the playlist era of artists pushing their albums’ run-times well past single-CD constraints — both Drake and DJ Khaled’s latest sets very casually ran past the 80-minute mark — for JAY-Z to revert to Illmatic lengths for his latest is certainly jarring. But it makes perfect sense for 4:44: Like any good social-media bender, when you’re out of stuff to say, the move is to just log off. And all the rest of us can do is set a Twitter alert and go back to sleep.

This article originally appeared on Billboard.

https://tunecollective.com/2017/06/30/jay-zs-444-perfect-album-twitter-era/

[datesfordummies]

This is the anon who took the risk telling her crush and he’s moving. I should have clarified that I liked him for three years and Ive tried to move on so many times just bc I thought it would never happen and then he says that! I’m not good at moving on where do I even start? I can’t stop thinking about him

so, him moving will be a big help for two reasons 1. it gives you a really solid reason to move on and not go back to him, because he isn’t really an option anymore and 2. out of sight, out of mind!

i’m going to copy and paste some moving on advice that i gave to someone else a few days ago. but i’ll edit it a bit to better fit your situation!

I’ve started reading more feel good books. NOT romances! I’ve heard a lot of people turn to Wild. I personally started with Spineless by Juli Berwarld and then moved to The Tao of Pooh (both wonderful pieces of nonfiction). since struggling to let go is something that seems to be reoccurring for you, turn towards books that will be really transitional for you. i really like reading about different religions, philosophies and schools of thought. books like ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ is also a highly rec’d one.

Fill your playlists with really empowering women singing about their independence. I like to listen to the first half of Lemonade like the songs that Beyonce wrote when she was still mad as hell at J and his shit

Take up a super empowering hobby or passion project that really motivates you so you have something to start filling your mind and spare time with. If you are 18+ you can take up pole dancing. it has changed my life tbh! I’m so much more confident and also physically healthy, which it’s true that your physical health directly affects your mental health like damn. plus it is super fun and now instead of thinking about him or things i could’ve done/ said to make things better or whatever, i just think about like new pole moves to learn and choreography and what song i want to freestyle to next and it’s honestly great

and of course they will cross your mind. when that happens and i catch myself, i stop take a few breaths, look in the mirror, remind myself a few times that i live for me and then i take a hot sec to admire my cute ass self and just really appreciate that like i’m here and i have myself?

most importantly, like take yourself or your friends on dates! i queued a post today that said something along the lines of ‘love yourself instead of loving the idea of someone else loving you.’ don’t wait for boys to date you. date yourself! every thursday, i take myself to the movies and then do something new around town and i look forward to thursdays so much now. 

like, just do something that makes you happy every day and you will start to forget why men are even here lol

[savetopnow]

2018-03-08 19 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

What's going on Thursday?

tours announced: Mitski, Young Fathers, Twin Shadow, Ashley Monroe, more

Tribeca Film Festival 2018 lineup & tickets

Lily Allen preps new LP, touring, playing NYC in April (listen to "Trigger Bang")

Thursday add two more 'Full Collapse' & 'War All The Time' NYC shows

Consquence of Sound

Hall of Faces: “Who’s the Greatest Character in the Marvel Cinematic TV Universe?”

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Michael B. Jordan offers to buy teen new retainer after she broke hers while watching Black Panther

Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman reunite for crafting competition show Making It

Mo Pop Festival 2018 lineup: Bon Iver, The National, St. Vincent lead the way

Fact Magazine

Equiknoxx, Tim Hecker, Telefon Tel Aviv and more announced for MUTEK San Francisco

Thrush Metal songwriter Stella Donnelly is a feminist folk hero on the rise

5ive Beatz – Against The Clock

Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland facing prison spell after pleading guilty to fraud

Steven Julien’s new mini-album is a tribute to his family and Roland founder Ikutaro Kakehashi

Fluxblog

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Straight To Your Face

The Last Year Has Been Kinda Rough

Radion Beams Casting Vibrant Views

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Idolator

Years & Years Explore A Bold New Pop Sound On “Sanctify”

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Two Madonna Collectibles Are Being Reissued For Record Store Day 2018

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Listen to This

Tommy Neal -- Going To A Happening [Northern Soul/Rare Grooves] (1968)

Acetone -- All The Time [Indie Rock/Slowcore/Americana/] (1997)

The Bled -- You Know Who's Seatbelt [Mathcore/Melodic Hardcore] (2003)

The Beths -- Whatever [Indie Rock] (2016)

Kristoff Krane - Leave the Summer [acoustic rap] (2009)

Popjustice

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Important service announcement for anybody intending to travel on today’s M-Train

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Anyone want a free ticket to Godspeed You! Black Emperor tonight at the Sinclair in Boston, 7 PM?

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Fyre Festival Promoter Billy McFarland Pleads Guilty To Fraud

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Hear DJ Khaled Read Open Letter to Son: 'Love Can Change Everything'

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Slipped Disc

College bans men-only concert programmes

Seiji Ozawa is hospitalised for a month

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Just in: The arts ‘add $763.6 billion to the U.S. economy’

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Spotify Blog

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Spotify’s Electrifying Concert Series “RapCaviar Live” Returns with a New Tour Lineup featuring Migos, 2 Chainz, Tory Lanez, DJ Mustard, Lil Pump, and more

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[savetopnow]

2018-03-08 16 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

What's going on Thursday?

tours announced: Mitski, Young Fathers, Twin Shadow, Ashley Monroe, more

Tribeca Film Festival 2018 lineup & tickets

Lily Allen preps new LP, touring, playing NYC in April (listen to "Trigger Bang")

Thursday add two more 'Full Collapse' & 'War All The Time' NYC shows

Consquence of Sound

Hall of Faces: “Who’s the Greatest Character in the Marvel Cinematic TV Universe?”

Album Review: EarthGang Appear Poised for Stardom on Royalty

Michael B. Jordan offers to buy teen new retainer after she broke hers while watching Black Panther

Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman reunite for crafting competition show Making It

Mo Pop Festival 2018 lineup: Bon Iver, The National, St. Vincent lead the way

Fact Magazine

Equiknoxx, Tim Hecker, Telefon Tel Aviv and more announced for MUTEK San Francisco

Thrush Metal songwriter Stella Donnelly is a feminist folk hero on the rise

5ive Beatz – Against The Clock

Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland facing prison spell after pleading guilty to fraud

Steven Julien’s new mini-album is a tribute to his family and Roland founder Ikutaro Kakehashi

Fluxblog

An Emotional Sexual Bender

Straight To Your Face

The Last Year Has Been Kinda Rough

Radion Beams Casting Vibrant Views

Build It To Burn It Down

Idolator

Years & Years Explore A Bold New Pop Sound On “Sanctify”

Sade Returns With Dreamy Ballad “Flower Of The Universe”

Ariana Grande’s 4th Album Was Produced By Pharrell & Max Martin

Two Madonna Collectibles Are Being Reissued For Record Store Day 2018

Cardi B Meets Madonna, Announces “Bartier Cardi” Video Release Date

Listen to This

The Beths -- Whatever [Indie Rock] (2016)

Kristoff Krane - Leave the Summer [acoustic rap] (2009)

SunSquabi - SquabCat [Electro-Hydro-Funk] (2016)

The Cowmen -- Snakes [Indie, Blues, Rock] (2015)

Future Thieves -- Sucker [indie rock](2017)

Popjustice

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Important service announcement for anybody intending to travel on today’s M-Train

So obviously the latest CHVRCHES track is fairly incredible

Troye Sivan interview: “I feel more fully-realised as a person”

New Music Friday: Janelle’s double-whammy and numerous other moments of wonder

Reddit Music

The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist [Electronic]

Anyone want a free ticket to Godspeed You! Black Emperor tonight at the Sinclair in Boston, 7 PM?

Rockwell - Somebody’s Watching Me [pop]

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord [Folk Rock] (1970)

Fyre Festival Promoter Billy McFarland Pleads Guilty To Fraud

Rolling Stone

Hear DJ Khaled Read Open Letter to Son: 'Love Can Change Everything'

Beyonce and Jay-Z's First 'On the Run' Tour, Song by Song

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Hear James Bay's New Rock Song 'Pink Lemonade' Ahead of 'SNL' Debut

Slipped Disc

Canadians replace suspended conductor

Just in: The arts ‘add $763.6 billion to the U.S. economy’

MASH actor had second life as symphony conductor

The Met last night at Semiramide – half-empty

They met at an airport piano. Now they’re working in studio

Spotify Blog

Spotify Kicks off Women’s History Month with the Launch of ‘Amplify,’ a New Hub Spotlighting Causes & Community Voices

Spotify’s Electrifying Concert Series “RapCaviar Live” Returns with a New Tour Lineup featuring Migos, 2 Chainz, Tory Lanez, DJ Mustard, Lil Pump, and more

When It Comes to Sex, The Weeknd Delivers as Spotify’s Sexiest Artist This Valentine’s Day

Spotify Launches New Songwriter Credits Feature

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We Are the Music Makers

Free De-Esser 64-Bit Plugins?

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Go to drum collections for contemporary pop music (Katy Perry, Max Martin...)

Any LA music makers know where to jam?

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[savetopnow]

2018-03-08 13 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

tours announced: Mitski, Young Fathers, Twin Shadow, Ashley Monroe, more

Tribeca Film Festival 2018 lineup & tickets

Lily Allen preps new LP, touring, playing NYC in April (listen to "Trigger Bang")

Thursday add two more 'Full Collapse' & 'War All The Time' NYC shows

NYC's first Night Mayor has been named

Consquence of Sound

Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman reunite for crafting competition show Making It

Mo Pop Festival 2018 lineup: Bon Iver, The National, St. Vincent lead the way

Amazon Alexa devices are creepily laughing at their owners for no reason

Record store crawls are a thing and they’re taking over the US beginning next month

CoS Readers’ Poll Results: Favorite Gorillaz Songs

Fact Magazine

Equiknoxx, Tim Hecker, Telefon Tel Aviv and more announced for MUTEK San Francisco

Thrush Metal songwriter Stella Donnelly is a feminist folk hero on the rise

5ive Beatz – Against The Clock

Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland facing prison spell after pleading guilty to fraud

Steven Julien’s new mini-album is a tribute to his family and Roland founder Ikutaro Kakehashi

Fluxblog

An Emotional Sexual Bender

Straight To Your Face

The Last Year Has Been Kinda Rough

Radion Beams Casting Vibrant Views

Build It To Burn It Down

Idolator

Years & Years Explore A Bold New Pop Sound On “Sanctify”

Sade Returns With Dreamy Ballad “Flower Of The Universe”

Ariana Grande’s 4th Album Was Produced By Pharrell & Max Martin

Two Madonna Collectibles Are Being Reissued For Record Store Day 2018

Cardi B Meets Madonna, Announces “Bartier Cardi” Video Release Date

Listen to This

SunSquabi - SquabCat [Electro-Hydro-Funk] (2016)

The Cowmen -- Snakes [Indie, Blues, Rock] (2015)

Future Thieves -- Sucker [indie rock](2017)

Isador - Get Down [Psychedelic Indie Pop] (2018)

whatever the horror - away [Lo-fi / Alternative / Synthpop / Chiptune] (2018)

Popjustice

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Important service announcement for anybody intending to travel on today’s M-Train

So obviously the latest CHVRCHES track is fairly incredible

Troye Sivan interview: “I feel more fully-realised as a person”

New Music Friday: Janelle’s double-whammy and numerous other moments of wonder

Reddit Music

Anyone want a free ticket to Godspeed You! Black Emperor tonight at the Sinclair in Boston, 7 PM?

Rockwell - Somebody’s Watching Me [pop]

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord [Folk Rock] (1970)

Fyre Festival Promoter Billy McFarland Pleads Guilty To Fraud

Hall and Oates - I Can’t Go For That [pop]

Rolling Stone

Hear DJ Khaled Read Open Letter to Son: 'Love Can Change Everything'

Beyonce and Jay-Z's First 'On the Run' Tour, Song by Song

Cranberries Will Release New Album, 25th Anniversary Reissue

Q-Tip Named Advisor of Kennedy Center's New Hip-Hop Culture Council

Hear James Bay's New Rock Song 'Pink Lemonade' Ahead of 'SNL' Debut

Slipped Disc

Canadians replace suspended conductor

Just in: The arts ‘add $763.6 billion to the U.S. economy’

MASH actor had second life as symphony conductor

The Met last night at Semiramide – half-empty

They met at an airport piano. Now they’re working in studio

Spotify Blog

Spotify’s Electrifying Concert Series “RapCaviar Live” Returns with a New Tour Lineup featuring Migos, 2 Chainz, Tory Lanez, DJ Mustard, Lil Pump, and more

When It Comes to Sex, The Weeknd Delivers as Spotify’s Sexiest Artist This Valentine’s Day

Spotify Launches New Songwriter Credits Feature

Spotify Launches Good As Hell Podcast in Partnership with Refinery29, Hosted by Lizzo

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We Are the Music Makers

What's the best piece of studio gear that isn't musical/hardware?

CSMA Electronic Music Festival in Mountain View, CA

Audacity a good starting program?

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Which DAW Integrates Best With Maschine MK2?

[savetopnow]

2018-03-08 10 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

tours announced: Mitski, Young Fathers, Twin Shadow, Ashley Monroe, more

Tribeca Film Festival 2018 lineup & tickets

Lily Allen preps new LP, touring, playing NYC in April (listen to "Trigger Bang")

Thursday add two more 'Full Collapse' & 'War All The Time' NYC shows

NYC's first Night Mayor has been named

Consquence of Sound

Mo Pop Festival 2018 lineup: Bon Iver, The National, St. Vincent lead the way

Amazon Alexa devices are creepily laughing at their owners for no reason

Record store crawls are a thing and they’re taking over the US beginning next month

CoS Readers’ Poll Results: Favorite Gorillaz Songs

Film Review: A Wrinkle in Time Brings Its Realm-Hopping Source Material to Vivid Life

Fact Magazine

Equiknoxx, Tim Hecker, Telefon Tel Aviv and more announced for MUTEK San Francisco

Thrush Metal songwriter Stella Donnelly is a feminist folk hero on the rise

5ive Beatz – Against The Clock

Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarland facing prison spell after pleading guilty to fraud

Steven Julien’s new mini-album is a tribute to his family and Roland founder Ikutaro Kakehashi

Fluxblog

An Emotional Sexual Bender

Straight To Your Face

The Last Year Has Been Kinda Rough

Radion Beams Casting Vibrant Views

Build It To Burn It Down

Idolator

Years & Years Explore A Bold New Pop Sound On “Sanctify”

Sade Returns With Dreamy Ballad “Flower Of The Universe”

Ariana Grande’s 4th Album Was Produced By Pharrell & Max Martin

Two Madonna Collectibles Are Being Reissued For Record Store Day 2018

Cardi B Meets Madonna, Announces “Bartier Cardi” Video Release Date

Listen to This

Aunt Mary -- Path of your Dream [Prog, Rock] (1973)

Sincere Engineer - "Ceramic Tile" [indie/rock]

Lokid - Bad Love [Glitch Hop] (2018)

hamond -- copacabana [electronic/r&b] (2016)

Calimossa -- Planet X [Hip-Hop/Funk] (2018)

Popjustice

New Music Friday: When it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist it’s time to put Andrew WK at the top of the playlist hard

Important service announcement for anybody intending to travel on today’s M-Train

So obviously the latest CHVRCHES track is fairly incredible

Troye Sivan interview: “I feel more fully-realised as a person”

New Music Friday: Janelle’s double-whammy and numerous other moments of wonder

Reddit Music

Fyre Festival Promoter Billy McFarland Pleads Guilty To Fraud

Hall and Oates - I Can’t Go For That [pop]

John Williams - The Imperial March [Orchestral] (1980)

{playlist} its snowy in new york so here's some old and new dance music for your commute

Elton John - Rocket Man [Soft Rock] (1972)

Rolling Stone

Hear DJ Khaled Read Open Letter to Son: 'Love Can Change Everything'

Beyonce and Jay-Z's First 'On the Run' Tour, Song by Song

Cranberries Will Release New Album, 25th Anniversary Reissue

Q-Tip Named Advisor of Kennedy Center's New Hip-Hop Culture Council

Hear James Bay's New Rock Song 'Pink Lemonade' Ahead of 'SNL' Debut

Slipped Disc

Canadians replace suspended conductor

Just in: The arts ‘add $763.6 billion to the U.S. economy’

MASH actor had second life as symphony conductor

The Met last night at Semiramide – half-empty

They met at an airport piano. Now they’re working in studio

Spotify Blog

Spotify’s Electrifying Concert Series “RapCaviar Live” Returns with a New Tour Lineup featuring Migos, 2 Chainz, Tory Lanez, DJ Mustard, Lil Pump, and more

When It Comes to Sex, The Weeknd Delivers as Spotify’s Sexiest Artist This Valentine’s Day

Spotify Launches New Songwriter Credits Feature

Spotify Launches Good As Hell Podcast in Partnership with Refinery29, Hosted by Lizzo

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We Are the Music Makers

Which DAW Integrates Best With Maschine MK2?

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Female vocalist and singer-songwriter looking to collaborate.

Incredibly Interesting Lecture on Science of Rhythm

I'm 15, I wanna be a musician but I've never touched an instrument and am fairly certain that I'd be trash at it.