#i won't be opening most of my presents until tomorrow

[violant-apologia]

Hey happy birthday! ✨

thanks!!!!!!! it's been very nice so far, the weather is lovely today. (this is terrible when you're trying to write about living in a cave but i'm sure i'll survive)

[allfearstofallto]

Do you think Childe would get jealous is reader spent to much time with the kids or would he just appreciate her not being miserable 24/7?

Childe is jealous because HE can't spend lots of time with the kids. He's unreasonably happy that you and the children get along so well, but he hates that it comes at the cost of him not having a place to fit in.

Yandere! Childe x Fem! Reader

Forced Marriage AU

TW: Reader has children, yandere themes, general angst

It was a thought that lingered in his mind more than he wanted. Despite the fact that he was adamant that he wouldn't let it bother him, it still crept its way into his brain during moments of silence. It was eating away at him, the one thing that he couldn't fight off was going home every night and noticing it. Noticing the silence, the lack of toys splayed about, the lack of laughter, the mess.

When he was a child and even up until long past his teenage years, he remembered not being able to walk two steps in his home without stumbling over a toy or board game or even some mysterious mess. He's aware that he has significantly less adolescents in his own house now than he did as a kid, but it doesn't change the fact that his his kids are just so clean. and quiet. It's almost unnerving how little he sees of those existence in the home.

And when he returns, even if there is still sun beaming down on the packed snow of Snezhnaya, his son's will already be up in their rooms. Whether it's to nap or do some schoolwork, the second he steps foot into his own home, they become unavailable, shying away from him as if he were the monster under their bed.

“Why are the boy's always busy when I get home,” he asked over dinner. A quiet dinner of just you and him. He hadn't eaten a meal with his son's in months, almost as if you wanted him to forget their existence.

A look of fear crossed your face, then confusion, then a weak, fake smile. Those smiles of yours. Forced quivering lips and wide eyes, how much longer could you continue to smile at him like that? How much longer would he allow it?

“They're both still young, Ajax, they don't want to be under their parents constantly,” you tried to assure him, following your words up by filling your mouth with food to not have to say more.

“That's bullshit,” he slammed his fist down on the table, scaring you even more in the process. You could see that he was seething with rage, close to having an outburst before taking a deep breath to calm himself. Still, his words were slow and concise as he spoke against, a growl present in his voice, “You can't even sit Damon down for a minute without him crying till he's blue in the face.”

There was nothing you could say to disprove what he was saying. He was correct. Damon was typically glued to your hip, throwing fits whenever you let go of him. He was always a clingy child, vastly different to Adonis, who only wanted you around to show you a cool trick he'd learned or an art project he'd made. But both of them would grow pale when you said that their father would be returning home soon, and even if you wanted to, you couldn't make them leave the confines of their rooms, knowing that Childe was lurking around the corner.

“I want to see my sons,” he said without waiting for your response.

“They're probably long asleep by now,” another lie. You couldn't get Adonis to go to bed without a fight most nights. You knew he was still up, possibly playing with his action figures once again, but if he heard the sound of his father's footsteps coming up the stairs, he'd be in bed with no hesitation. You remember a night where he thought it was Childe instead of you opening the door to his bedroom. He was curled up in his comforter, with it pulled up to his eyes. Peeking at the door like he was expecting the Boogeyman.

“I won't go in tomorrow then. We'll have the whole day together,”

You had nothing to say back, but also no way of forcing the boys to spend time with him. Rather, you silently picked at your food, a lump starting to form in your throat. Dinner was eaten in silence, with you only occasionally stealing glances at your husband, who was still angrily eating. Your heart sank thinking of the ways the boys would cry, but knowing that there was nothing you could do for them. Except be there as he forced himself into their lives. He was doing to them as he'd done to you. And helplessly, all you could do was watch.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hey! So I thought of this idea for Gavi, where yall have been dating for a while but he doesn't know exactly what date your birthday is and he ends up forgetting,but the reader doesn't mind because she's had bad experience with birthdays

This req has almost over a year, I'm truly sorry for the wait😭 but life's been pretty busy right now and I haven't had the time to sit down and write something😭😭 also, not prooferead😭💀

Calendar -P.G6

Summary: Your boyfriend doesn't know your birthday and you don't mind that, either.

"Amor"

"Mhm?" You grunt eyes not leaving your book

"Can I ask you something?" You hum letting him know you were paying him attention "You won't get mad?"

"It depends" You simply answer "Probably not. What's up?"

"When's your birthday?"

Right there, you froze. You let the book on your lap and looked at your boyfriend.

You and Pablo have almost a year and half dating, he was the sweetest, most caring, responsable, respectful guy you've ever known. He knew and remembered every single detail of you and of your relationship, so it took you by surprise to hear that he didn't know your birthday.

However, you didn't felt any kind of dissapointment or anger, your birthday was just another day and after your 6 birthday, you stopped celebrating it because of a bad experience, so you were just confused.

"You don't know when my birthday is?" He slowly shook his head

"I... don't" He said, you could see the nerves on his face, he was waiting for you to get mad.

"It's ________" You reply looking at him, you smiled softly "Better now?"

He repeated your birthday date under his breath only to gasp.

"That was two weeks ago!" You nod "¡Joder! ¿Como puedo ser tan mal novio?" (How can I be such a bad boyfriend?) "Venga, let's get dressed to have some dinner. I need to buy you a gift, two in fact, one for the lateness and the other for your birthday. We also need to set tomorrow a small party with our friends and family. I need to buy a cake for you as well-"

"Nononono. What are you talking about? No need"

"What do you mean there's no need? Of course it's needed! It's your birthday, we don't turn 20 every single year, we need to celebrate it"

"Pablo, I don't celebrate my birthdays" You state grabbing his hands and trying to calm him down

"¿Cómo que no celebras tus cumpleaños?" (How's that you don't celebrate your birthdays?)

"I just don't. Ever since I turned 6"

"But why is that?"

"I had a bad experience at my birthday party" You shrug shaking your head

"Puta madre" He cursed making you smile "I didn't know that"

"That's weird. I thought you asked my mom everything of me" You joke with a smile on as he grips your thigh

"I asked you some things too" You laugh

"I almost got lost in my birthday party. It was in the park but I walked and walked far away from the party, my mom and dad were attending the invited so my aunt was the one who had to look out for me and she did until her attention drifted to a kid who had fell from the swing"

"I spent around 5 hours lost in the park, it started raining and it got dark quickly, I was crying and shaking from the cold. My parents found me and I could only grip myself to them so bad. I didn't wanted to spend the rest of my birthday there, I didn't even wanted to eat the cake nor open the presents, nothing. And that day I couldn't be separated from my mom, I glued myself to her"

"It sounds pretty stupid but I was so afraid of them not being able to find me and stuff. So I just kinda stopped celebrating my birthday because it reminds me of that not-so-good time"

"It's not stupid, amor. And I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry for?"

"I didn't know about that and also I made you remember it"

"It's ok, baby. You didn't know but now you do"

"Can I just give you a small gif and an ordinary cake then?" You smile

"I'll make a small exception for you and only this time" You kissed his lips standing up "Where are we going for dinner?"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[zepay]

I've finally watched the entire Moon x Bagi date, here's some tidbits about Bagi's past, present and future as she explained to Moon.

Moon asked why Bagi doesn't care about herself (regarding her suicidal/savior behavior)

She said that her psychologist asked her the same thing, and told her that she only went to Valigma to her job, help where she can, and go home, so she shouldn't care what happens to her.

She told her that she had a bad childhood, not because of her parents, but because her brother (Cellbit) got kidnapped, and everyone told her that she shouldn't pursue him, "he probably got lost, he drowned" but later she found out why they said to her that.

She became a detective to find him, but when she finally did she told Moon that he already had a new life and didn't really care about her, and he didn't even remember her. She said "I spent my entire life searching for him and when I found him he didn't give a shit about me"

She said she went to a really dangerous place to find him, and when she left she went back to São Paulo to work (Brazil canon!!!) and spoke about how cramped her apartment is. Nowadays, her most common job as a private investigator is to find out if there is infidelity in a relationship.

Moon asked about what happened to her brother, she told her that he got married, and went his way, and she said that she was "hanging out" (idk how to translate this, but the word she used is way too casual considering they were about to get married lmao) with someone, but after an "incident" they got separated and lost contact with her.

Moon remarked that only bad things happened to her, and she told her that she was getting back on her feet, she started working again, and now she's doing it for her because previously she was doing it to find her brother.

She dreamed her entire life about how it would be to find her brother and get him out of whatever was happening to her, but when it finally happened she was disillusioned, she said she spent all of her life thinking about tomorrow and lived today, and how she's trying to change that.

After a while, she said that after her disillusion she spent a while locked in her apartment, and she clarified that it was one year since she found her brother, and because of that, in the heat of the moment she puts herself in dangerous situations, but she didn't really realize that until Denix spoke with her about that.

And that's about it of Bagi lore, she asked Moon about her life, and after flirting a bunch, they kissed and both ended stream out of embarrassment lmao.

Now about some personal takes, I really didn't expect Ak!Bagi to be just one year older than q!Bagi, idk but she was already so jaded I expected more time to have passed. She didn't mention Tina a bunch, just by passing, I'm obviously biased but I think she just isn't ready to talk about her, especially to another romantic interest.

Most conspicuously missing, though, was any mention of Empanada, which I interpret as a massive open wound Bagi isn't willing to share with anyone yet, but I could be wrong.

I find it very interesting character-wise that they kissed on their first encounter, but I suppose it's mostly a Tina thing. Bagi would wait until she was ready and never took any initiative because she didn't want to make Tina uncomfortable, and while Moon doesn't have the self-hatred Tina had, I do think there's an "I won't wait that long this time", as she regrets not get to marry Tina.

Anyway, I'm glad Bagi spoke about her past to someone, and I hope she can find happiness with Moon, she really needs a win. 😭

[saythenametotheworld]

Maybe If | l.mk

Genre: exes baggage; angst; smut Pairing: Mark Lee x Female Reader Synopsis: An unprompted college reunion for a friend's wedding had you looking back on the most beautiful relationship you ever had with the most breathtaking boy you've ever known—Mark Lee. Warning: angst, mentions of physical and emotional abuse, mentions of alcoholism, explicit sexual content (18+) Notes: 21k words, song prompt was Maybe If by BIBI

"He'll be there for sure." You've lost count of the number of times Nadine said that today. "Will you be fine?"

Even the question about your well-being has been engraved in your mind for days now because she's asked about it each time she remembers Mark Lee being present at your friend's wedding.

"You know, Nadine, it almost sounds like you're the one who dated Mark Lee," Stan commented, giving her a quick glance at the backseat. "Shut up about it already. I'm sure she knows Mark will be there."

"I'm just worried about her. I know it's been a while but what happened between them was intense, seeing how they chose to cut contacts completely instead of being friends. What if they end up fighting?"

"Mark won't fight her," Stan chuckled, glancing at you. "He would never fight her."

You kept your eyes outside the car window, counting the minutes before you arrived at your hometown. You're not thinking about Mark Lee-not even about the messy state you left him in. You were thinking about the town you grew up in; everything you hated and loved about it, everyone you grew up knowing, and everyone you dreaded seeing. It was the one place you wished you never had to return to, the one place that gave you so much to love and even more to hate.

When you left for better opportunities in a different place, you vowed you would never come back. There's nothing for you to go back to anyway, just a miserable old city where you lived a miserable life trying to deal with a miserable old couple. They even told you to never come back after draining you dry of the money that you spent half of your life saving. You have no fond memory of your aunt and uncle. Even the mere mention of their names angers you. The living condition wasn't any better, if anything, you worked your ass off to feed the people who stole from you. You hated it there and you hate it till now.

The one good thing about the place was your relationships outside the house. Reminiscing about your friends should make you smile, but even that became something to hate after you left and never came back.

"Welcome home, guys!" Stan cheered as you entered the downtown area of the small city.

Nothing much has changed, except for a few old establishments you used to work at which now bore different names. The road was definitely better. Streetlights and traffic signs were updated. The trees that once lined the sidewalk are now gone. But overall, the vibe still feels the same and you still haven't changed your mind about not coming back here. If it wasn't for Dianne asking you to be one of her bridesmaids, you wouldn't even consider taking a peek.

"We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" said Nadine, hugging you before you got out of the car.

You'll be staying at the bride's house for the rest of the week to help with the preparations. She said she'll burn every motel in town if you ever so much as consider staying in one instead of accepting her offer to accommodate you. You figured she wouldn't be able to do it for real but the way she was so passionate about it made you say 'yes' to crashing at her place.

"My dearest!" Dianne greeted as soon as she opened the door of her house. You hugged by the doorstep, squeezing the soul out of each other until someone told you to take your dramatic reunion back inside the house.

"Congratulations, Dianne. I'm happy for you and also, thank you for having me as one of your bridesmaids," you told her while you sat around the living room with a few other girls that you were introduced to as her entourage.

"Of course, you have to be my bridesmaid. You and I go way back and did you forget that it was you who set me up with my fiancée?"

You chuckled, nodding as you were reminded of the blind date project that you worked so hard to carry out just so Dianne could have her dinner date with the handsome bookshop owner that she had a crush on. It's been six years since then but they're still together. You chatted for a while, discussing the few remaining things that still need to be done for the wedding. When the doorbell rang, Dianne excused herself to welcome her other guests. You were talking to Amanda, Dianne's little sister so you weren't paying attention to the door. Dianne approached you as soon as the guest came in and spoke in a serious tone.

"I hope you don't mind that Mark is here," she said quietly, glancing briefly at the group of men who just arrived. "He's one of Owen's groomsmen."

"No, not at all!" you replied, waving your hands briskly. "It's fine. It's your wedding. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know the breakup was awful but it means a lot to me and Owen to have both of you here with us."

You gave her a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder. "I know. It's okay, really. This whole thing is about you and Owen. You don't have to worry about us."

"Y/N!" Owen called when he spotted you. You felt a little nervous, knowing your presence had been announced to the whole house and Mark now knows you're here too.

"Owen! Hi!" you greeted, masking your jitters with a jovial attitude. "How are you?"

"I've been great. I'm getting hitched!" he cheered, showing you the ring on Dianne's finger. "How are you? Thanks for coming. We really appreciate it."

"I'm fine. Thanks for having me," you smiled, and then the laughter from the doorway caught your attention.

Seeing Mark after five years felt like a jolt to your heart. The boyish charm you remembered had evolved into something more mature, more refined, and undeniably attractive. His shorter hair suited him, accentuating his handsome features. He obviously found a new style, like you did. It struck you how time had changed both of you, shaping your lives in different directions. Other than that, the girl clinging to his arm is the only thing you don't recognize about him.

Dianne pulled you aside, far from anyone's earshot. "That's Tris, Owen's cousin. She's one of my bridesmaids."

"Yeah, we don't like her," Amanda interjected.

"Mandy!" Dianne scolded but the younger one just raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's true."

Dianne tutted at her before turning to you. "They're not dating and she's just here for the wedding but I think she likes Mark. They've been hanging out ever since she got here which was a few days ago."

You laughed softly, holding her arm. "Thanks, Di, but I don't need to know what Mark's been up to. I'm sure he took good care of himself."

"Right. Sorry. I just had to tell you in case you assume he's dating her."

"Mark won't," Amanda smirked, giving Tris the side eye.

"You don't even know Mark that well."

"Yeah, but he's a nice guy. Guys like Mark don't date skanky spoiled brats."

"Mandy! Don't call people names!"

"Whatever, I don't like her."

You watched Amanda leave the room and escape upstairs, slightly amazed at how much she's grown. When you first met her, she was just twelve years old but she was already chatty. Now she's grown and resembled Dianne a lot but their attitudes are complete opposites.

Mark's eyes fluttered in your direction, catching your gaze before you could look away. He quickly scanned you, then returned to his conversation on the other side of the room. You weren't expecting Mark to be all nice and chatty the moment you met again, but you hoped for something more civil than this. You were ready to do just that, so why is he being hostile?

Why else? You broke his heart, dumbass.

In the morning, you went to a boutique for dress-fitting. The other bridesmaids were here before you so you were the only one left to get your measurements and have the dress adjusted. It was a nice velvety dress with a tiny strap that hugged your body’s figure most exquisitely. Dianne said it was Nadine’s input and everyone agreed that it looked elegant with the right amount of sexy.

“And skin,” Nadine added, running her fingers from your collarbone to your shoulder. She pointed to the slit that goes right up your mid-thigh. “And thigh too.”

“Yeah. I can see the thought process in this,” you ridiculed, although you did like the dress. You just had to point out Nadine’s inclination to revealing clothes.

You had brunch while catching up on a lot of things. You talked mostly about the wedding and how the whole proposal happened. After that, you had a few hours to yourself before Owen and the others came to pick you up for the rehearsals. You were excited to see Timmy again and to find out that he is the wedding planner for this.

“World-class event organizer, coming through,” he posed, strutting in front of you. You giggled, enjoying his display.

“You’re a local event organizer, Timmy,” Stan teased as he approached your circle and stood next to you.

“The best there is!” Timmy insisted. “And it’s only for now.”

Rehearsals for the entourage began, and you were visibly shocked to be paired with Mark. He seemed impassive at first, but as you started walking the aisle together, you saw how much it affected him. He wouldn't let you hold him, and while you were fine with that, Timmy was frustrated.

“Come on, Mark. It’s just a walk. It’s forty-five seconds at best!” Timmy pleaded, but Mark bristled.

“I don’t want anyone touching me, Timmy. How hard is that?”

“It’s fine, Timmy. I’m sure no one will notice,” you reassured, hoping to ease the tension. Reluctantly, Timmy gave in and let Mark have his way.

The practice continued with Mark still apprehensive. Now that the arm hold was out of the way, he found another reason to show his disdain, missing the cue repeatedly. After a few tries, Timmy decided to ignore it and proceeded with the practice.

“Mark is being unreasonable, seriously,” Timmy chided as the three of you drove to grab something to eat.

“You can’t blame him. He hates my guts. Now he’s stuck with me,” you defended, and Nadine agreed.

“That much is still considered a display of patience. If it were me, I’d freak,” Nadine added.

Timmy sighed. “Honey, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Dianne and Owen specifically asked for this. I’m just doing what I’m paid to do and what my friends asked of me.”

“And Mark’s not your friend?” Nadine taunted, earning a glare from Timmy.

“He is. But this wedding isn’t about him.” Timmy glanced at you in the backseat. “It’s not about the two of you.”

You knew that, of course. That’s why you were trying to be civil. He’s the one with the problem, and you don’t blame him at all.

The car stopped in front of a diner that looked eerily familiar. As you stepped out, Timmy mentioned it was the diner you used to work at in college. The owner and the name had changed, but everything inside, except the paint, remained the same. The interior and furniture reminded you of the time you spent waiting tables and cleaning this place.

It was no surprise that you’d attend the local college right after high school. You tried to apply to other schools and although you met the grade requirements, your extra-curriculars did not. The university was in the downtown area of the city, several miles from your house. You remember the last time you went downtown; it was when you had just moved in with your aunt and she was still nice to you. She'd take you once a week for food or ice cream, but she stopped that a long time ago, and now you barely remembered what it looked like.

For the last two years, you were back and forth from your house to your school; a public high school in the east side of the city. The downtown area may be unfamiliar to you but that didn't stop you from landing a job at a diner close to your local university. On your first day, the manager greeted you warmly. After a quick rundown of your tasks, you began immediately.

It was past 2 a.m. when a group of friends came into the diner. There were barely any customers except for a middle-aged guy drinking beer by the counter and watching late-night news. Tina, your coworker, was mopping the floor when the group arrived, and one of the guys accidentally kicked the bucket, spilling water all over the floor.

"Shit, sorry!" one of the guys muttered, picking up the bucket and looking down at the mess he made with panic in his eyes.

"Damn it, Mark. Watch where you're going!"

That was the first time you met Mark. Alerted by the commotion, you peered over the counter to see what was going on. You saw him fumble with his apologies to Tina, who ended up telling him it was her fault for putting the bucket right by the door.

Tina rounded back to the kitchen to grab something for the spilled mess. "This is not the meet-cute way I was expecting to meet Mark Lee."

"Mark Lee?" you repeated, glancing at her as she opened the cabinet of cleaning materials.

"The guy who spilled my bucket," she pouted, fake sobbing before going back outside. “I had a crush on him in high school.”

You hadn't meant to but there was nothing else to do while you were wiping glasses dry so you observed his group. They came from a party, judging by the way some of them were groggy and others looked high. Mark wasn't. He seemed completely sober and less sweaty, laughing along with his friends. They ordered and since you were on dishwashing duty, you never had to interact with them.

You had only four hours of sleep before the first day of university. With your scholarship, you were given a dorm and a 75% discount on your tuition. The conditions were demanding, but you were confident you could meet them. You finished high school at the top of your class, and you were determined to keep your scholarship until graduation. Failing wasn't an option; struggling to keep your grades high was far better than returning to your aunt's house.

"Can I help you?" a senior approached as you looked around the busy school grounds.

There wouldn't be any actual classes today since it was the first day. Clubs and student groups had set up booths for new students and transfers to sign up. There was also a mini-concert planned for tonight, which you found out about from the huge banners at the entrance.

"No, I'm good, thanks," you said, giving him a small smile.

"Aren't you Y/N?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

He smiled and shook your hand enthusiastically. "I'm Spencer, the student body president. You aced the scholarship exam, so everyone who cares about it knows who you are."

"Oh," you muttered, pulling your hand back when he wouldn't stop shaking it. Spencer seemed genuinely excited to meet you. He also seemed like the overly passionate, overachieving type.

"Sorry," he grinned. "By the way, would you be interested in signing up for the freshman representative elections?"

"Thanks, but I'll have to pass. I'm sure you'll find other suitable candidates." You turned to leave but he blocked your way.

"That's too bad, but if you change your mind, the student council office is right next to the Arts and Sciences building."

"Sure. I'll remember that. Excuse me," you said, walking past him quickly so he wouldn't block you again. As you did, a guy bumped into you so hard that you fell to the ground.

"Y/N!" Spencer helped you up. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, thanks," you muttered, dusting yourself off. You looked at the guy who had bumped into you. He was on the ground too, struggling to get up.

"Mark!" someone called, rushing to help him. "Seriously, dude? Do you ever watch where you're going?"

Mark scoffed. "How do you know it was my fault?"

The other guy helped him up while you watched, recognizing him. Mark Lee—the guy Tina had a crush on.

"Because you're you, dumbass," the other guy chided. Mark looked at you, tilting his head and scratching his neck shyly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I was running away from someone," he explained before clenching his fist and showing it to the guy who helped him up. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"You guys need to watch where you're going!" Spencer scolded them while you took the chance to escape through the crowds.

You found yourself in the Arts and Sciences building, walking down the halls to locate your classrooms. There wouldn’t be any classes today, but you wanted to memorize their locations to avoid wasting time tomorrow.

"Hey! I didn't catch your name," said someone, stopping you by holding your elbow. You glanced down at his hand on your arm, prompting him to let go. "Sorry. I'm Mark, by the way."

"I don't see why this is necessary," you replied. You didn’t mean to be unfriendly, but you genuinely thought introductions were unnecessary. The collision was an accident, and you were pretty sure you wouldn’t be making friends with him. You were you, and Mark seemed to be on a completely different wavelength.

"Well, if I'm gonna be seeing you around, I think this is necessary," he insisted, smiling with his eyes focused on your face, not even blinking.

You told him your name, deciding it was easier to just give him what he wanted so he’d leave you alone.

"Nice to meet you," he said, offering his hand for a shake. You took it, shaking it once.

"Well then," you said before walking away.

"See you in class!" he called out, but you didn’t look back.

You didn’t think about Mark again for the rest of the day. But he appeared at your workplace after midnight, peering over the counter at you.

"Can I help you?"

"What time do you get off work?" he asked directly, skipping any small talk.

"None of your business. What can I get you?"

"There's a party at school. Why are you here?"

"Again, sir, it's none of your business. Is there anything you want to eat?"

"Can I pick you up after your shift?"

You exhaled sharply, looking around to see if anyone could substitute for you at the counter. Everyone was busy, so you had to deal with Mark yourself.

"What are you doing in my workplace?"

Mark grinned, pleased to finally get a reaction from you. "Stalking you."

You raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to laugh.

"No, not really. I'm not stalking you. I'm a regular here."

Your eyebrow remained raised, and you crossed your arms.

He swallowed nervously. "Can—can I get a cola with that burger?" he asked, his voice breaking as he pointed at the menu on the wall.

You punched in his order on the register. "That will be $4.60."

Mark was persistent and patient. You came to know that after he continuously pursued you despite your indifference. He consistently went to your workplace. Sometimes he'd try his luck with a little flirting. Most times he'd just be there, quietly eating his food and taking too long to leave. At one point in the middle of the semester, he started studying there too. Another thing that worked in his favor was your classes. You're both Arts students, and you're both majoring in Arts History so you see him in most of your classes. He always shared your notes and asked you about assignments and stuff. He also tried to pair up with you each time you were given group work.

You mostly just went with the flow. You stopped getting bothered by it when you realized that your snide attitude wouldn't push him away. The attention you gave him was limited to what was required of you by your schoolwork. And you ignored his flirting and his random invitations for a date or coffee, even if he reduced the venue to the university food court. The one factor of his endless chase that you least expected was his friends.

"Yo, it's Mark's muse!" said Stan as soon as she walked into the diner.

Your ears twitched after being called that so you emphasized your name. "Welcome to our diner! My name is Y/n. What can I get for you?"

"Oh, so that's your name? It's cute, it suits you. I'm Stan." Stan beamed. He looked like a typical jock so you were expecting him to act like one but he seemed genuinely glad to know you.

"Yeah, I wonder why Mark always kept it to himself like some obsessed psycho," said the girl he was with. She smiled at you and offered her hand. "My name is Nadine. Nice to meet you, Y/n."

"Hi," you greeted timidly, returning her smile.

"Mark's crazy for you and I can see why," said the third guy whose every move, tone, and clothing tell you he's queer. "I'm Timmy. Not Tim, Timmy."

You found yourself surrounded by Mark and his circle of friends. They were nice, and it surprised you because they looked like the typical rich kids from the west side of the city: snobby, bratty, and mean for no reason. But they were actually good company, balancing academics and social life perfectly. They were popular and smart, and you felt a little bad for having prejudices against them. Although you liked to keep to yourself, you didn’t discourage their presence. You let them join you at the food court when you were alone. You let them drag you to school events and even let them add you to their noisy group chatroom. It never occurred to you at the time that you were making friends, something you never saw yourself doing. You felt so accepted and free with them. And it was safe to say your feelings started growing towards Mark the moment his friends came into the picture because that was when you got to know him properly.

"Mark! Come on, man! You're just gonna walk down the aisle. Why do you keep messing up?" Timmy scolded for the nth time today.

"Sorry," Mark said half-heartedly.

"What's wrong?" Dianne peered from outside the church.

"Mark keeps missing the timing," Amanda reported.

"Sorry, Di. Let's try again, Tims. I'll get it right this time."

"No. This time, y/n will hold you and you won't complain." Timmy linked your arms together and told everyone to go back out. It was the second day of rehearsals but Mark was still keeping the attitude. You were getting annoyed by it, but you chose not to intervene in case he lashed out at you. Not that you’d hate for that to happen, in fact, that would be better than making everyone walk on eggshells around the two of you.

On Timmy’s cue, the music started playing again. You huffed beside Mark, frustrated by the amount of time you had to go back from the top and hyper-aware of your linked arms.

"Stop it," you chided in a low voice.

Mark glared at you, but he kept his voice low. "Stop what?"

"Stop messing up! Why do you keep doing that?" you hissed and he scoffed.

"Because you're annoying, that's why," he spat, giving you a quick head-to-foot scan.

"Mark! In 3!" Spencer shouted and you both diverted your attention to him. You were dumbfounded but you didn't miss the cue and you both walked in together.

The practice ended after another hour and you all gathered back to Dianne's house for dinner. While everyone was busy with conversations, you couldn't help but notice the way Mark was glaring at you from across the table. He's not even hiding it anymore. At first, he just refused to interact with you but now he's downright showing everyone his disdain for you.

"Y/n!" Timmy cheered, walking to your seat to wrap his arms around you. "It's been so long, how have you been?"

"Yeah! You look great! Tell us what you've been up to in the last few years."

You chuckled timidly, embarrassed because of the sudden shower of attention. "I'm well, thanks. I’m a professor."

"She's an Art professor at NYU," Stan added.

"Really? Didn't you move to New York for NYU?"

"Yeah. I got lucky."

You glanced over at Mark who now have his eyes somewhere else.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"What?" you blurted, surprised by the shift of topic.

"Boyfriend?"

You eyed Mark and found him still looking uninterested. "Well, I..."

"No, she's not. She hasn't dated anyone since she left the city."

Timmy scoffed at Stan. "Are you here as her representative? Why are you answering for her?"

"Because she's shy! And was I wrong, y/n? Didn't you say you haven't dated anyone since you and Mark—"

Stan was cut off when Nadine shoved a piece of bread in his mouth. "You're so skinny. You should eat some more!"

You saw Mark stand up and walk away, leaving the entire table in an awkward silence. Stan finally removed the bread from his mouth.

"Was that my fault?"

Everyone glared at him so he just flattened his lips and did a zipping gesture over his mouth.

It was Christmas when you started dating Mark. He took you to see a Christmas movie downtown but it was so boring so you just kept making funny remarks about it. You had been giggling and goofing around so much that you got kicked out of the cinema. You're not sorry though, it was an awful movie. But then you left your beanie inside the cinema and you tried to get it back only for the security guard to kick you out and threaten to call the cops on you.

"Ah, have I given you my Christmas gift yet?" Mark asked as he fitted his beanie on your head.

"You got me a Christmas gift?"

"Of course. That's the point of Christmas."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I'm pretty sure it's Jesus' birthday."

"Maybe, but if you look further into history, you'll find that yuletide traditions were already around even before Jesus' time."

"Okay, smartass," you scoffed, tucking your hands in your jacket.

"You didn't know that? You would know that if you paid attention in class, y/n!"

You punched his chest. "Shut up. Don't use my lines on me."

Mark laughed, rubbing the part of his chest that you hit. "So, I have a gift."

"Okay, where is it?"

"Promise me you'll accept it?"

You flattened your lips. Mark has a tendency to go over the top with things and you're starting to worry that he might have bought you an expensive gift.

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you spent hundreds on it."

Mark's eyes lit up. "Just 3 dollars and 42 hours."

Your brows creased. "Did you make me a Christmas sweater?"

"Yes. The ugliest one ever," he grinned before taking out a small box from the pocket of his jacket.

You found a diner to stop in and order food. Since it was Christmas, they gave you free eggnogs and candy canes.

"What are you waiting for? Open it!"

"Is it for me or for you?" you jeered.

"For you."

"Then I'll open it when I want to."

Mark whined. "Please open it? I want to see you open it."

You rolled your eyes at him as you were sipping on your drink. "Fine."

Taking the gift out, you carefully tore open the wrapping and opened the box next. You first thought it wasn't really a sweater since the box was too small, but you were surprised that it was in fact, a knitted sweater. A miniature one dangling on a keyring chain. It has a crooked letter M on the shirt that makes you grin.

"Did you make this?"

"I know it's ugly, but I made it with love. I even have mine here." He showed you his car keys which the sweater keyring is now holding. That sweater has your initial on it.

"But why is mine M?"

"M for Mark," he replied without missing a beat. You grimaced so he laughed. "You already accepted it. No backsies."

You shrugged and took out your own set of keys from your purse. You placed it on the table and fished your phone then started attaching the keyring in your phone case.

"Those are for the keys!"

"It's mine, I do what I want with it."

"Why your phone though?"

You smile after you're done with the task and let it dangle from your phone. "So that everyone will see it and ask why I have an ugly sweater as a phone accessory."

Mark laughed at that and you watched him for a while, taking in his features; the pretty curve of his eyes, his arched eyebrows, his supple skin, and the way his adorable set of teeth showed when he smiled. You stared and realized that he was the most breathtaking man you had ever met. Not because he's the most handsome or the most good-looking, but rather because he's the one person in this place that made you see the sliver of beauty that it possessed. He made you see that this place is not completely miserable. He made you realize that love can bloom even in a place where you never imagined it could survive.

"And when they do ask me that," you added after a while, making Mark pause to listen. "I'll tell them my boyfriend made it for me."

You saw how Mark's face went from goofy to surprised to delighted in a matter of seconds. He stood up from his seat across you and swiftly pulled you up for a hug. You hugged him back because you realized you were right all along, Mark doesn't only look warm, he is warm. His embrace, his breath, and the way he makes your heart feel. Mark is the warmth that you yearned for in your cold miserable world.

"Are you my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"If I kiss you, will that be okay?"

"Yes."

And so, Mark did. He scooped your face and you never thought he could get any warmer than he already was but there he was, surprising you again.

"You think Mark's pissed?" Dianne asked worriedly when you saw each other at the breakfast table the next morning. She was asking you but you just shrugged. "He never came back last night," she added, as if you don't already know that.

"I'm sure he's fine. Probably just a little under the weather. I heard he had flu a few days ago and just got better," Amanda concluded but that didn't seem to convince Dianne.

"I'm sorry, y/n. We shouldn't have forced the two of you together. It was mainly my idea and Timmy just agreed because he said the thought behind it was beautiful."

"It's okay," you smiled, squeezing her hand affectionately. "Mark just has his issues right now. You know how he is; he won't let this ruin anything in the slightest."

"I hope so," Dianne sighed. "I'm starting to consider changing things up. I know it's about us but I also don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable during the whole thing."

Amanda tapped on your elbow so you glanced at her. "What did go wrong with you two?"

"Mandy!" Dianne chided but you just smiled at her, telling her it was alright.

Everything was well between you and Mark. He was a great boyfriend, just like you imagined he'd be. He was consistent and patient, and he never failed to show you his affection in plenty of ways.

He would offer to help you study, share his notes with you, and help you when you're struggling with any of your classes. He randomly took you to where there's good food and he also showed you beautiful places around the city. He was patient with you and never forced you into anything without your consent. You were just happy, utterly happy each time you were with him. In exchange, you gave him your time, your affection, and your undivided attention. You encouraged him when he was down and insecure. You encouraged his dreams and showed him that he is capable of doing anything as long as he puts his mind to it. Your relationship was a happy one, catering to each other with utmost care and living in the moment while reminding each other of your love.

Mark was content, you were happy. Your relationship had no problems. The problem was you. While Mark bore his whole entire being for you to see and love, you only shared your best side. You showed him your intelligence, your wit, your beauty, and your kindness. But you never showed him your frustrations, your struggles, your darkness, and your pain. You told him your dreams and aspirations but you never told him the things that motivated these dreams. While Mark showed you the good and the bad, you gave him the good and left it at that.

"Good for you! You finally found your way home!" your aunt said sarcastically when she opened the door for you.

"Are you drunk?" you asked despite not caring at all. You walked past her into your bedroom to take some of the stuff that you'd be needing for school.

"You look good. Is the university treating you well? I heard you earned a scholarship," she asked as she trailed behind you.

You opened your bedroom and saw the messy state it was in. It was clean when you left it but it looks like someone had been living in it.

"Did you go through my stuff?"

"Why would I do that? It's not like you leave anything valuable when you go out," she spat, leaning on the doorway.

You searched through your desk for your files and tucked them safely inside your bag. Then you remembered you needed a few clothing so you went through your closet.

"So how was school? Do they give you a stipend for your scholarship?" she pressed on and you couldn't help huffing when you recognized where the conversation was going.

"They don't. I get a 75% discount on tuition. I still need to pay for the remaining 25," you explained begrudgingly, groaning when you couldn't find the jacket you were looking for. You looked elsewhere and found it on the floor by the hamper. "Have you been wearing my clothes?" you asked but your aunt just shrugged.

"Why would I wear your clothes? They're too big for me."

"That's because you're so thin. I told you to eat properly. But look at you!" you chided, huffing again. "You've been drinking again! It's 9 in the morning! You told your rehab officer that you'd stop!"

Your aunt might have been cruel but she was still your mother's sister. You wanted to hate her to the point of abandoning her, but she looks so much like your mom that you can't even ignore her.

"Stop nagging me and just give me money for food! How will I eat when I have nothing for food?" she hollered back at you.

You decided to ignore her and put your dirty clothes back into the hamper. That was when you saw a few pieces of used condoms right by the basket.

"Gross. What's this?"

"Oh, that's not mine. It's Greg's."

You scowled. "Who's Greg?"

"The one renting your room."

Your jaw dropped. "You rented out my room?"

"You didn't come home and the room was vacant. We needed money because you haven't given us any for the past few months."

"Damn it, Auntie!" you complained, stomping on the floor.

You hurriedly grabbed your other stuff and found a bag to stash them in. Everything important, you stuffed in your luggage and brought it out of the room.

"Where are you going with all that?"

"I'm going back to the dorms. I'll be living there until I finish college anyway."

You dragged it all the way outside the house. Taking your purse out, you gave your aunt a few 20s and told her to stop drinking and buy some decent food. She didn't even thank you and proceeded to tell you that they had no running water because it had been cut off.

"Tell your asshole husband to work! I'm not your piggy bank!"

"What did you say about me?"

You spun when you heard your uncle's voice from behind you. He looked drunk already but he was carrying a bag of alcohol.

"You bitch, what were you saying about me?" he repeated, walking closer so you were face to face with him.

You glared at him, not even scared of his taunting. "I said you're an assho—"

You were cut off by a sudden pain in your shoulder, making you fall onto the ground. You didn't notice the empty bottle he was holding in his right hand that he used to hit you.

"You have the nerve to talk like that after I let you live in my house! You ungrateful bitch!" He raised his hand to hit you again but you kicked his shin. You stood up quickly and hit him with your purse. You hit his head and then his back and again and again until he was on the ground. Your aunt rushed to him so you stopped, kicking the bag of alcohol bottles and spitting on it before you walked away with your stuff. You are never going back there.

For years, he verbally and physically abused you, hitting you when you couldn't give him money and hitting you again when you talked back to him. You will never stop talking back to him, you have the right to do so after they bled you dry of your parents' money. They even went through your college fund and didn't leave a single penny for you. And when you started working, they continued to milk you for the money you earned through your hard work. You were the only one keeping that house running but each time you tried to make things work, they go back to their old ways. If it wasn't for you being a minor, you would have left a long time ago. Now you're a legal adult and you won't stand up for it anymore. Once you finish college, you will leave this place and never come back.

"Hi, you're y/n, right?"

You looked up at the pretty lady who approached you outside the library. "Yes. Can I help you?"

She smiled and offered her hand for a shake. "My name is Dianne. I was thinking of offering you a part time job, if you want it."

"What makes you think I need it?" Your response was a little harsh but Dianne understood that it may have sounded like she was looking down at your financial status.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. The library is hiring new junior librarians this semester. It's exclusive to scholars and it has a grade requirement. I was thinking of offering you a spot."

"Oh, I heard about it," you told her, warming up a little.

"Yeah. You see, no one applied yet. A handful did but they did not meet the grade requirement. It's a school foundation effort so having good grades is really important because you'll be getting paid for the job."

"I'll try it out."

"Great. You can apply inside," she said,

guiding you into the library.

You filled out a form and Dianne asked you to wait while they check your grades. The waiting didn't take long and she told you you got the job. You had no class left for the day and you have exactly five hours before your shift at the diner starts so you got started right away on a 4-hour library duty.

The work wasn't hard. You will need to sort books, handle returns, do an inventory every few weeks, and update the portal for every new book. So far it was only you and Dianne on the junior librarian team because as she mentioned, no one else applied for it. Dianne was a senior Linguistics student and she seemed nice.

"I've been a librarian since I was a freshman. My friends have been calling me one too. Sometimes they joke that I smell like books."

You chuckled quietly. She was chatting you up while she was showing you the stock room. That was when your phone started ringing.

"Who is it?" she asked inquisitively.

"My boyfriend," you replied, eyeing his name on the screen.

"Hmmh, good for you that you have a boyfriend. I think this library is the reason why I don't have one," she sighed, leaving you alone to answer the call.

You told Mark where you were and he said he'd be there soon so you finished up with the library work. When you came out, you found Mark in the lounge and he waved at you. This wasn't new because you always hung out with him at the library. But seeing your librarian vest made him laugh quietly. You told him to behave while you do your job. You've been tasked to put the returned books back on their shelves and Mark helped you push the cart.

"You're a librarian now?" he teased while you were looking for a specific shelf.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because I am. It's my dream," you joked and he laughed so you shushed him.

"Sorry. How did this happen?"

"They were hiring junior librarians."

"And you signed up because your dream was to be one?"

"Yes. And I get paid to do it," you chimed.

"Sounds like a good deal,” he chuckled heartily, knowing you didn’t mean it.

You were halfway through the tall stack of books and didn't notice that you'd gone further into the back part of the library until Mark pulled you aside.

"Why? What's wrong?" you asked, thinking he was running from something. Mark looked around and peeked outside the corner you were hiding in before he smiled at you. You sighed upon realizing that he was trying to be alone with you. "Really? In the library?"

Mark shrugged. "Why? I'm sure we're not the only ones doing it."

"Yes, but right now, I'm a librarian. I should be discouraging this rather than doing it myself."

"Two minutes?" he pleaded.

"Mark," you threatened.

"One?"

"We have time later," you insisted but he pouted.

"Thirty seconds?" was his last bargain.

You huffed before you pulled the collar of his shirt and kissed him. He kissed you right back, holding your waist firmly and even closing his eyes. You might have done it begrudgingly, but you gotta admit how great it was to be kissing Mark. Still, you kept count of the time he bargained for, and right as he was starting to feel up your ass, you pushed him back.

"Your thirty seconds is up."

"Aw," he whined but you were already leaving the nook. He grabbed your shoulder and you winced in pain because he gripped the exact spot where your uncle had hit you. "Oh, shit, sorry! What happened?"

He was quick to push the sleeve of your shirt up and you couldn't even stop him. The bruise was dark and purple and his eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sight of it.

"What the hell happened?" he hollered so you covered his mouth and shushed him, looking around the library for anyone you disturbed. You were at the farthest corner though so no one saw you.

"Just some accident at work," you lied through gritted teeth. "Be quiet!"

"You're so clumsy!" he chided softly, kissing the spot tenderly.

"Really? Coming from you?"

The next day, you arrived at the library and were welcomed by Mark Lee, the new junior librarian.

"No way. You're not a scholar. You don't even need the salary," you chided, grimacing at him.

"Well, his grades were good and they're consistent. The scholarship part was a big deal but since were short-staffed, the Head Librarian just agreed to take him in," Dianne explained. "Anyway, I already showed you how to sort these right? Get started on it. Mark, be a dear and help your girlfriend. Take these to the stock room."

You looked down the box of newly purchased books for the library and then to Mark who was smiling when he picked them up and loaded them one by one on the cart.

"Also, don't hook up there. I mean, no one will find out that you did but don't do it! It's unsanitary." Dianne teased so you shushed her.

"Dianne! Gross!"

She was giggling when you left for the stock room. Mark was walking snuggly close to you so you took a step away. But then he came close again so you just let him do it until you reached the stock room.

"Dianne is very nice," he commented while he opened the boxes.

"Yeah, and she's very pretty too."

"I can see that," Mark agreed.

"Right? That's why I was wondering why she's single."

"She's single?"

"She is. She says it's because she's a boring librarian, but I'm pretty sure I noticed a few guys checking her out yesterday. They're even pretending to read."

Mark chuckled. "I think it's because she's pretty intimidating."

"Pretty and intimidating, " you corrected and you both laughed.

"I know someone who likes her. And I was thinking of setting them up. Remember Owen? From the bookshop downtown."

"Yeah, he seems nice."

"What do you think?"

You shook your head, placing the books you've finished counting on a separate box, and then you walked towards Mark. "I think we shouldn't meddle with other people's business."

"I agree," he replied, lips curving into a smile when you didn't stop coming closer. You gave him a coy smile as you placed a hand on his abdomen, firmly pressing on the muscles beneath his shirt. Mark's breathing hitched but he steadied it again. "And I agree with that. Keep going. I will keep agreeing," he declared, nodding his head encouragingly.

You grabbed the tape dispenser from behind him and immediately moved back to your seat in front of the table.

"What will you keep agreeing on, Mark Lee?" you asked innocently as you pulled the tape out to close the box of books.

"Hey, no fair!"

You just laughed when he went behind you and hugged your sitting figure. He even stomped his feet in a tantrum.

"What? You're so naughty. We're literally in school."

He lifted his head from your neck and looked sideways at you. "How about when we're outside school?"

"I don't know. What do you mean by that question anyway?"

"Babe!" he whined again and you just laughed. "Stop teasing me! You're so mean!"

After putting the books in the records, you spent a few more minutes in the stock room making out with Mark to appease him. He didn't ask for anything much, content with what you were willing to give him. He was even grinning like a fool when you left the stock room.

The library became a special place for you and Mark, working together and goofing around. It was tiring sometimes but Mark was there and everything seemed to go well whenever he was around. That was what Mark has become in your life, someone you can lean on who doesn't attempt to pry for anything you're not willing to share. You know it was because he was oblivious to your inner demons, but you were glad to have a part of you that is not influenced by your pain. Sure, you realized somewhere along the way that you became an entirely different person when you're with Mark, but he doesn't know that and you decided to let it stay that way.

"Wow!" you all exclaimed when you arrived at the beach that was more than familiar to you. It had been decorated with a podium, a stage, and the surrounding structures. The only things missing are the flowers and the drapes which will be installed on the wedding day to avoid getting ruined.

"Look at this place!" You exclaimed. "It looks so much better now!"

The beach used to be nothing but a vacant space, with palm trees, wildflowers, and washed-over branches. Apparently, Owen bought it a year ago when the nearby hotel threatened to develop it into an extension of their building. He beautified it and built a beach house where they usually stayed during get-togethers. The beach remains open to the public, except this week for their wedding.

"Hey, isn't this your dating place?" Stan asked you and received a spank on the head courtesy of Timmy. "Ow! Hey!"

"Why would you bring that up?"

"I was just asking because I missed her," Stan defended and you just shook your head before following the girls into the house.

"What do you think?" Owen asked when you entered the house. You couldn't say anything other than gape at the wooden but modernized utilities around the house. It was spacious and you understood why Owen called it The Friends House because it really was big enough to house a large group of friends.

"It's beautiful, Owen. I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, you would have seen it before if you hadn't continuously bailed out on our invitations," Owen sulked, pouting at you. Dianne elbowed him and he groaned. "But you're here now! Welcome to the Friends House!"

"Thanks," you chimed. "It's great what you've done to the place."

"This place means a lot to Dianne and me, and it meant a lot to our crazy little squad so, other than the fact that it would be awful to tear the beach down, I also didn't want to lose its sentimental value."

You were about to say something when Mark arrived, making all heads turn to him.

"What?" he asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Mark! You came back!" Stan cried dramatically, running to Mark for a hug.

The others laughed while Dianne called you girls to assign rooms. You shared your room with Nadine and you didn't care enough to ask how the boys assigned theirs. You then went out with the girls for a spa and shopping treatment downtown. She called it her last day of freedom and later tonight, the bridal shower that you prepared with the bridesmaids will take place in the beach house. Dianne called dibs on it because your party was indoors. As for the boys, you had no idea what they were up to.

"So that beach," Tris began while the five of you were getting your nails done. "I heard Mark discovered it?"

"Mark and y/n," Nadine corrected.

"Yeah, Mark," Tris repeated, turning to Nadine. "How exactly did he find such a beautiful place?"

You saw how Nadine grinned devilishly. "By taking y/n on romantic dates around the city."

Tris frowned at her and leaned back on her seat with a ‘hmph’.

Mark liked driving around the city. In the first few months of your relationship, you thought you'd seen everything there is to see but he surprised you again by taking you to the coast. You knew there's a coastline here but you've never been there before. It was lined by resorts and hotels but in a secluded spot westward is a hidden gem that he proudly boasted to you like he's the one who discovered it. Of course, it's been there ever since but it was too far to be considered a go-to place for anyone who wants to go to the beach. It was untouched and beautiful and you did plenty of picnics there, watching the sunset together.

He took you there to celebrate anything. He took you there when you needed comfort or when he needed a break. He took you there for no reason, especially when you both want to go out but can't think of a specific place to go. Most days, you would stay until after the sun has completely set, tangled in each other in a liplock. It was your own little secret until it wasn't anymore.

"I'm hungry," Mark complained, lying on your lap under the shade.

You snorted. "We literally just ate everything in our basket."

"Yeah, but I'm still hungry. I don't know why," he replied, sitting up and looking around. "Should we try fishing?"

"You'll need a boat for that and a fishing line."

"Foraging? Seashells wash up here all the time."

"You'll need to cook it."

"There is some seafood you can eat raw," he insisted and you shrugged.

"Yeah, but I think you'll need at least some salt or something."

He looked at you and stared for a while, his eyes moving from your lips to your eyes and back again.

"What?" you asked when he didn't say anything.

"I know what I want to eat," he said seriously, moving towards you.

You scoffed and met him halfway, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "There. Satisfied?"

"No," he replied, still inching closer so you leaned back. "It was a bit bland, chef. I think I need to taste it again."

You giggled still leaning back. When you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, you held onto his neck, but that caused you to accidentally pull him close and fall on your back down the picnic mat. He moved painfully slow towards your lips and kissed you equally as slowly. When he wouldn't kiss you properly, you realized he was teasing you so you bit his lip.

"Ow!" he muttered, laughing at your annoyed expression. "What? I was trying to taste it properly."

You pulled him by the collar and kissed him. Mark stopped playing around then, kissing you properly in the same delirious way you liked it to be. He bit your lip, prompting you to open your mouth and when you did, his tongue slid expertly inside. Four months of dating had you become an expert in kissing each other.

He has memorized your lips, your pattern, and your timings. He kissed you like he studied how to and you have no complaints because the last time you kissed someone has long been lost from your memory. Mark was the best and only kiss you've ever known.

"Mark," you breathed when you parted for a moment. He didn't reply and just dived in to kiss you again. It seemed like he wouldn't be listening to you, focusing too much on your lips, so you gathered your strength to sit up. He fell off on you and looked at you worriedly because of your sudden movement.

"Sorry, was that too much?"

"No." You pushed his chest so he was lying down and straddled his hips. Mark looked up at you in surprise.

"Y/n..." he muttered, hands falling on your waist.

"You're not listening to me," you complained before kissing him.

Mark was dragged into the vice of your lips again, one hand firmly holding your back while the other rested on your waist. Lust has begun to overcome you, grinding ever so slightly on his hard-on. That made Mark pull away and stare at you.

"What are you doing?"

You buried your face on his chest, too shy to show him how horny he has made you in the last few minutes.

"Babe, you don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, kissing your head and patting your back.

"I want to," you mumbled but he didn't seem to hear. You lifted your head and looked straight into his eyes. "I want to, Mark. I want you."

Mark claimed your lips then and you were back to making out. His hand that once sat innocently on your waist has slid under your sundress, caressing and squeezing your inner thigh. His kisses left your lips to travel the length of your neck, sucking and kissing the supple skin. He sat up to better access your chest, pulling down the sleeves of your dress to reveal your bosoms.

"Oh, baby, look at you," he blurted as he took a good look at your chest before burying his face between them and taking a huge sniff of your skin. "You're so beautiful."

"Mark," you called out, pulling his head away before dragging your bra down. Mark wasted no time and sucked on your nipple, massaging the other one. The moan that escaped your mouth was euphoric, making you grind on his erection even faster. He kept switching between your boobs, all the while encouraging you to keep grinding by helping you move your waist.

"Oh my gosh," you screamed out, feeling your pussy clench with pleasure. Mark flipped you over, taking his shirt off before kissing your lips. When he pulled away, he gave you a smirk that almost made you gasp. Mark had always been handsome but right now, he looked so sexy to you and you knew it was the lust in your head that's making you say so.

He lifted your dress up to your waist and panic overcame you, making you close your legs. Mark just gave you an encouraging smile and squeezed your knee.

"It's okay. We can stop here today," he said softly.

"No, it's not that." You looked away, embarrassed to say the next words. "I've never done this before."

Mark appeared clueless for a second. "Sorry, what?"

You huffed and pushed yourself in a sitting position and wrapped your knees in your arms. "Nevermind. Let's just go if you're not interested."

Mark just laughed and pulled you into a hug. "Hey, that's not what I mean. Come on." He laid you back down, kissing you softly before looking into your eyes. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yeah."

"It might hurt."

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Really?"

"Yes, Mark! Are we gonna do this or not?"

Mark chuckled, kissing your forehead. "We are. I'm just checking to be sure."

"Fine." You were frowning but you just can't wait for Mark to pick up where you left off. You made out some more, building the heat back up from where it was abruptly halted. Mark began by touching your pussy, feeling up your wetness, and massaging it over your underwear. He pulled away from the kiss and caressed your cheek.

"Alright. Don't worry, okay? I got you," he said, leaving your side to position between your legs. He stripped you off your underwear and looked down at your pussy, then back at you with a smirk. But just as he was about to go down on you, you heard faint laughter from a distance that made you sit up instantly.

"Did you hear that?" you asked and Mark shushed you so he could listen properly.

"Mark?!" called a loud voice from far away. You gasped, taking your underwear and slipping it back on.

"Mark Lee?!" the voice called again, nearer this time.

"Shit, it's Stan!" Mark blurted and you immediately tossed his shirt back to him.

Mark wore it and stood in complete panic so you made him sit next to you on the mat and you both watched the yellow sky like nothing happened.

"Mark?" Stan called, his head peeking through the bushes. "Ah, there they are. I told you Mark is here!"

You glanced back at them, feigning indifference. Mark was even able to act annoyed.

"Yo, guys, what are you doing here?" he asked as Nadine and Timmy followed right behind Stan. "How did you find this place?"

"We were driving around when we saw your car on the side of the road," Timmy explained, looking around. "This place is beautiful. What is this place?"

"Mark found it," you replied, looking at Mark.

"Wow, and you've been keeping this from us? Like, really?" Nadine accused while looking around in amazement as well. "This place is literally paradise."

"It's an undeveloped part of the beachline, Nad. Don't be dramatic," Timmy chuckled. "But you're right. A few tweaks, some flowers and fruit trees, and this place will be paradise."

"Food!" Stan exclaimed, running to the basket you had with you. You just laughed knowing there's nothing in there.

Nadine was the first to call it Friends Beach, mainly because she was obsessed with Friends at the time but also because you didn't know what to call it when you made plans to go there. You cleaned the beach all the time, making sure no one would trash it and Timmy even went on to bring fruit trees and orchids that he attached to the huge tree at the center of the area. You kept it to yourselves, declaring it a private space just for friends. But your friend group soon welcomed two more people in it after a successful blind date mission.

"Mark! Guess what?!" you exclaimed at Mark when he visited you at the diner one day.

"What?"

"You said Owen likes Dianne?"

"Yeah. He said the pretty senior at the university library. Why?"

"How did they meet?"

Mark leaned on the table and thought for a while. "I'm not sure but he said he first saw her when she was delivering books to the library a few months ago. Why?"

You gasped. "Oh my god, I knew it. Listen, Dianne said she met this really nice guy a few months ago and fell in love with him but she heard he has a wife, so she reduced it to a crush. But she always passed by his bookshop every day to see him."

"Bookshop? You mean she likes Owen too?"

"Yes. Other than old man Luciano, the only one with a bookshop downtown is Owen."

Mark was also shocked by your revelation. "But wait, did she say he has a wife?"

"Yes."

"Owen doesn't have a wife."

"Oh, so why did she say that?"

"I don't know. But he's single, for sure. I know because we're close. Although he does hook up sometimes, he's very single."

You nodded at this and gave Mark a big grin. "You know how I said we shouldn't meddle with other people's business?"

"Yeah."

"I take that back. Let's set them up!"

And so, you spent a week planning an elaborate blind date for Owen and Dianne with the help of your other friends. By the weekend, you went home feeling proud that the date took place and then you braced yourselves for the results. Setting it up was the easy part, the hard part was whether they'd click or not. And that's also the part you can't do anything about.

"How was it?" Mark secretly asked when you saw each other at the library on Monday after the weekend date.

"I don't know. I just got here too. I haven't seen her yet."

"Mark, y/n?"

You both jolted when you heard Dianne speak behind you. She sounded stern and looked even more so when you saw her face. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.

"Dianne! Hi!" Mark greeted jovially, laughing awkwardly right after.

"I know what you guys did," she said without missing a beat and you felt your heart sink. Mark almost knelt on the floor if you hadn't stopped him.

"Dianne, I'm sorry. It was my idea," you blurted but she remained unfazed so you swallowed.

"THANK YOU!" She cheered loudly before hugging the two of you, even shaking your arms in excitement.

"Silence in the library!" The head librarian shouted and the three of you ducked and then ran to the nearest bookshelf to hide.

Dianne and Owen became a constant in your friend group in no time. You hung out often and even turned Owen's bookshop into a mini café where he'd make coffee for you each time you went there. Dianne was definitely older than you and your friends so she mostly acted like the mom of the group, scolding those who were skipping study time and giving out study materials during exams week. Owen just bought you food each time one of you complains of hunger. Your bond grew closer through time until you left and decided to never come back.

You used to belong with these people, a friend and a special part of their lives. Maybe you still are right now, but in your heart, you know you don't deserve to be at the receiving end of their love anymore. You used to love this group, but now you hate them. Not the kind of hate that makes you want to punch them in the face or cut them off, but the kind that makes you hate yourself. Simply put, you hate them because you hate yourself. Why? Mark. He was the reason you became friends with them and after doing such an awful thing to him, you felt undeserving of this whole squad. If anything, you wish they'd hate you but Mark would never let that happen. Whatever happened between you, it seems like he kept it to himself. Because if he did tell anyone, you know they'd hate your guts.

"Are you ready Di?" Timmy asked as he pushed a cart with the cake on it. You all wanted to laugh looking at the dick-shaped fondant adorning the cake, but you stopped yourselves.

The Friends’ House is now filled with girls involved in Dianne's wedding, friends, relatives, and other ladies who were invited to the Bridal Shower.

"Welcome to your last night of maidenhood!" Timmy announced, and Amanda lifted the blindfold off of Dianne's head on cue. You all started cheering when she grabbed the dick cake and bit off its head. Some cameras were filming her as she did this. The party went on with loud music blasting from speakers, champagne showers, lots of dancing, and more alcohol.

By 11pm, the house was reduced into a crowded mess of drunken women, wet with both sweat and champagne and lying down on whatever solid space they could find.

"We're old," Dianne muttered while you lay on the wooden floor with her and the others. "We can't even last until midnight. That's just another hour from now."

You giggled; head clouded with alcohol. You had just started coming down from the high of the party and the sugar rush of sweet pastries.

"No, you're old. I'm just partying with the wrong crowd," Nadine corrected, rolling on her side so she could hug you. "I wonder what the boys are up to."

"Probably falling asleep like we are," Dianne laughed. "Drunk and wasted at 11pm."

"You guys are wasted. Not me," you snorted as you forced yourself to stand up, squinting so your eyes would focus on the figure you were seeing at the doorway. You recognized Mark and immediately perked up.

"Oh, it's my Mark," you grinned, standing up groggily to go to him. You staggered a few times, but you regained your balance, telling no one that you were okay. "No, seriously guys. I'm okay!"

"Oh god, what is she doing?" Nadine asked, watching you walk towards the man and wrap your arms around his neck.

"You're a handsome young man," you told him, losing your balance on your high heels but he caught your arm and you just giggled. "Sorry. You look like this guy I used to know."

"Get your shit together, y/n," he chided through gritted teeth.

"Sounds like something he'd say if he sees me like this," you replied, giggling.

"You're drunk. Go get some rest."

You straightened up but you didn't take your arms off of him. "Oh, I'm not drunk but they are!" You pointed to the others and started laughing at them.

Nadine groaned and lay back down. "Ugh, she's gonna regret this."

"Can I kiss you?"

Mark was taken aback but he just frowned slightly. "Why would you do that? Do you know me?"

"You're Mark Lee," you giggled and then scowled. "Or are you? I think you are."

"Why would you kiss me if you know I'm Mark Lee?"

You looked away for a second to think. "I don't know." You glanced back at him and let go of his neck. "You know what, you're right. I can't just kiss you because you look like Mark."

You were about to walk away but he pulled you back to his chest. "I didn't say you can't."

Your whole face lit up, eyebrows rising when you said, "I can?"

"Why don't you try and see?"

You giggled as you wrapped your arms back around his neck and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Mark stayed still, holding your waist firmly because you weren't standing properly on your heels. You pulled away after a few seconds of just pressing your lips on his. The grin on your face was satisfied but also drunk.

"Now what?"

You shook your head. "My Mark is a better kisser," you said before burying your face in his chest and taking a deep breath.

You stayed like that for a few seconds before a stomping sound was heard on the wooden floors and someone pulled you by the shoulder.

"Hmm?" you inquired before a slap landed on your face. Mark quickly wrapped you in his embrace, shielding you from a drunk and angered Tris.

"Slut!" she hissed before attempting to attack you again but Mark pulled you away from her. He shot Tris a cold glare before dragging you out of the house.

The men outside were still drinking in front of the bonfire when Mark carried you out. Owen called him but he was rushing you out of anyone's eyes and ears. Your hands fell limply on your side while Mark was carrying you, the other was stroking your stinging cheek.

"You okay?" he asked with a grunt, heaving you up. You were a little heavier than he expected.

You smiled brightly, eyes half-lidded as sleepiness started to get to you. "Yes! My cheek kind of hurts though."

"Yeah, someone slapped you."

"I know, silly. I saw it," you laughed and Mark sighed in exasperation, stopping for a while to glare at you.

"Stop smiling. That wasn't funny at all."

You shook your head and then pointed to him. "I know. What's funny is you. You have two heads." You started laughing, throwing your head back and kicking your legs and Mark almost lost his balance.

"For fuck's sake, y/n." He knelt and dropped you on the sand, making you land on your butt. You complained, rubbing your ass slowly over your satin dress.

"You're mean," you muttered, laying your head on the nearby rock before closing your eyes. "I hate you."

"You do? Good because I hate you too."

You didn't hear that anymore because you drifted to sleep quickly, your breath steadying. Mark tsked, pocketing his hands as he looked down at you on the sand.

"Get up. Go sleep in your room." But you didn't move and it was stupid to tell you to sleep in your room because he already brought you far from the house, far from everyone; here in the cove that you both know so well. The cove that became your own personal hideout. "Come on."

Mark knelt on the sand and picked you up, patting away the sand on your skin and hair. Then he took off his jacket and placed it on the ground. He laid you there and let your head rest on his lap while he rested his back on the big boulder behind him. He stayed like that, convinced you'd wake up soon enough and you could walk back to the house by yourself.

And you did. You woke up with a mild headache and a stiff neck. It was dark and the only light was coming from Mark's phone's flashlight. You sat up and saw Mark sleeping with his back on the rock. You were confused for a second but memories started flooding back to you, making you shake your head in shame. You stood up, picking up his jacket to cover him with it. Then you started to slowly sneak away.

"Where are you going?" he called, making you stop dead in your tracks.

"Nowhere," you replied, sitting right next to him in an instant. "I was just looking around."

"Good. Don't leave," he ordered with his eyes still closed before leaning his head on your shoulder.

You looked around you and recognized the cove you used to hide in after the beach became Friends Beach. It was a bit further into the sparse woods but it was difficult to find. You remembered stumbling upon this area by accident and it has since become your hideout. It wasn't even an actual cove, just a small open space hidden behind tall trees. The lower part of the cliff had been weathered and continuously struck by the waves, making it look like a small cave. Mark has tried to go there before only to find shallow solid rock curvature, no actual cave.

The first time you had sex with Mark was by this cove. He had been trying his luck with fishing but he never caught a single one so he was sulking on the mat. You comforted him by saying you'd buy him sushi but one thing led to another and you were suddenly making out. Mark had been gentle with you, prepping you for himself and making sure you were comfortable. He kept comforting you the whole time, asking if you were fine and if he should stop. And even when you finally got over the painful part, he maintained his gentleness while keeping you satisfied. Ever since that day, sex with Mark became your favorite thing.

Your rendezvous were mostly innocent, by the cove, at his house, and in a hotel. He tried several times to sneak into your dorm but the security was too tight. That was around the same time you started going to parties with them and more often than not, you'd end up having sex in his car after too much alcohol and dancing. Mark was good with anything and he was especially good with sex.

"Why are we here on a weekend?" you asked as you entered Mark's house.

"Because we don't have anything fun to do," he replied, holding your hand as you climbed the stairs.

Mark's house is huge, situated in the suburban area of the city. His family is wealthy, as you've observed but you only met his mother a handful of times because they are never around much. The moment you found out that he was rich, you started to feel small about yourself. He lives in an entirely different world while you struggle to make ends meet. Your love for him was the only thing keeping you from leaving.

"What about fishing? Have you given up on it?"

Mark shrugged. "I can practice next time. For now, I want to lounge around and just do nothing with you."

You rolled your eyes as you stepped into his room. "There is no way you're just doing nothing with me, Mark."

He grinned as he closed the door, then stepped towards you to kiss you. "I'm glad you know that."

You scoffed before he kissed you, pulling you close so your bodies were touching. Mark guided you to the bed, your lips still locked together. But as soon as he sat you down, someone started knocking on his door. You both pulled away and he whined as he went to open his door.

"Mom," he asked, a bit surprised. "I thought you were leaving today."

"We had to come back for something," she replied, peering into the room where you sat on his bed. She smiled at you so you returned it. "Why don't you help your Dad find some files in the study? It's very important and he's saying he put them on the top shelves. None of us can reach it."

"Sure." He turned to you and smiled. "I'll be right back."

When Mark left, his mother came into the room and sat next to you on the edge of the bed.

"How are you, y/n? Is Mark treating you well?"

"I'm fine, Ma'am. Mark is very kind to me."

"Good. As he should," she chimed, reaching for your hand and holding it in her lap. "Anything planned after college?"

"A few things, but nothing is set yet. I'm still trying to figure things out," you replied politely.

She nodded at that and then sighed. "I want the best for my son, y/n. And I want him to be happy more than anything else. If you can bring out the best in him while also making him happy, I will be grateful to you until the day I die."

You smiled at her, squeezing her hand as a form of gratitude for her entrusting Mark to you. "I'll try my best, ma'am."

"Thank you." She chuckled heartily. "I may be absent now that he's grown, but I spent most of my life raising that boy. I'm sure he won't ever hurt you. Mark never hurts those he loves."

His mother was right. Mark never hurts those he loves. But you weren't Mark. You're cursed to hurt those you love and ruin them beyond repair.

“Congratulations, Dianne!” Nadine sobbed, hugging Dianne on her seat in front of the mirror.

Dianne just laughed, stroking Nadine's arms affectionately. “Thanks, but I'm not even married yet.”

“You might as well be. You look so ready to walk that aisle already.”

You sighed as you stepped out of the bathroom in your bridesmaid dress. “Oh god, Nadine. She just put makeup on. What would you do when she's in her wedding dress already?”

“I would literally drop dead,” Nadine claimed, carefully wiping her tears so she didn't smudge her makeup.

Dianne shook her head as she walked to the dress with the hired stylist. “No, don't drop dead. We're already one bridesmaid short. We can't afford to lose another one on the day of the wedding.”

“One bridesmaid short? Why what happened? Who's missing?” you questioned and everyone in the room looked at you in confusion. You saw that the only one missing was Tris and was about to ask when Amanda explained.

“We kicked the bitch out.”

“Why?”

Dianne scowled at you. “What do you mean why? Don't you remember getting slapped last night or did that take a toll on your memory?”

“Tris slapped me?”

“You don't remember? Did also forget clinging to your ex and calling him your Mark?”

You flattened your lips together in shame. “I remember that bit.” You were actually so preoccupied with Mark that you don't remember anything else from last night except him.

“Good. Tris attacked you because of that.” Nadine was seething. One moment she was crying about Dianne, now she's so angry that her brows are knitted. “She's lucky it didn't leave a bruise because I'd bury her alive.”

“So, she won't be here today?”

“No. Not ever. She already caused too much trouble with her picky attitude during the wedding preparations. She's not even related to me in any way other than the fact that she's Owen's cousin. I won't tolerate her trampling on the people I care about,” Dianne ranted while she was being dressed.

Nadine comforted her. “Forget her, Di. Don't let some wannabe socialite ruin your mood on your big day.”

Dianne took a deep breath and calmed down. “Thanks, Nad. Oh, by the way, where did Mark take you last night? I don't remember you coming back here.”

“Just someplace near here. We fell asleep and woke up at around 3. That's when I came back.”

“Did you hook up with him?” Amanda asked in surprise so you denied it.

“No! God no. We really just slept. I was drunk and it seems like he was too. Mark would never hook up with me, Mandy.”

“How would we know that when you won't even spare us the details of your breakup.”

You huffed and finished fixing your hair. “This is your wedding day, Dianne. Let's not ruin it with useless accounts of the past.”

“She's right. Let's live in the now.” Nadine started sobbing again when Dianne was done dressing up. “Dianne! I'm so happy for you!”

The sky was clear when you stepped out of the House. Three white cars were waiting for you and you each got into your assigned vehicle, wishing Dianne good luck before heading to the church. The entourage was waiting. The entrance and the ceremony began as soon as Dianne's car rolled in. You found Mark in his place and you rushed over to him, noticing how he offered his arm for you to hold on to as you practiced and even sparing you a small smile before looking ahead. After receiving nothing but a cold shoulder all week, this small gesture of acknowledgment sure made you happy.

“I don't hate you,” he had told you the night before while you two were sitting in the dark by the cove. “I'm just upset, that's all.”

You didn't have a reply to that and you were grateful that he didn't ask for any. It did make things less tense between you. You both were even smiling at everyone as you walked down the aisle together before parting to sit where you were assigned to. The ceremony wasn't slow but it wasn't fast either. As soon as Dianne walked in through the huge church doors, all eyes turned to her and few gasps of amazement were heard. As she drew nearer, you saw Owen wipe a few tears and that made your heart swell with emotions. You realized that even though you believed you hated everyone here, you wouldn't have wanted to miss this important day.

Vows were exchanged and they kissed in front of their loved ones to formally announce their marriage. Pictures were taken too and as soon as you went back to the Friends House, the commissioned photographer had you take a whole hour of pictorial by the beach. You had fun with all of them, the laughter and chatter had you feeling like you got transported back to your college days when you were the happiest.

It was past 9pm when Owen and Dianne left for their honeymoon. The party was swell as they had intended and it didn't end even after they were gone. There aren’t that many people now, just a couple of younger ones who can handle partying until late at night. Stan has turned the entire thing into a frat party and was by the wine table downing the makeshift keg he had set up with a few other guys. The girls were still dancing around to the music but you were getting bored and tired after Nadine slipped away with some guy. Amanda was flirting with someone on the newlywed's chair. You thought about going back to your room but you were assuming that it was where Nadine took her hook up so you decided against it. That was when you decided to go to the cove.

It was dark and it was supposed to be scary out there but you didn't think that at all. You had your phone out, using it as a flashlight as you ventured through the trees. You even took your shoes off when it proved difficult to walk in them on the sand. And as you reached the small open space, you let out a sigh of relief. You were just about to sit in your usual spot when you heard the rustle of leaves behind you which put you on high alert. But then the intruder came out and you saw that it was Mark.

“Mark?”

“Hey,” he greeted nonchalantly, walking past you to sit on the sand by the boulder.

You stood there awkwardly until he noticed you and tapped the space beside him as an invitation for you to sit. “Did you come here to just stand there?”

“Did you follow me here?”

“So, what if I did? The space is not exclusive to you, is it?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes before sitting in the space next to him. When you glanced at him, you caught a whiff of alcohol and frowned.

“Are you drunk?”

“Aren't you? It's a party,” he smarted.

Of course, you're not. You even avoided the sight of alcohol after your embarrassing stint last night.

“You don't seem drunk,” you observed so he glanced at you, your faces were about half a foot in distance.

“That's because I'm not,” he smirked. “I had a few bottles. Not enough to have me clinging on my ex.”

“Mark Lee!” You slapped his knee, frowning at him for reminding you of that. Mark just laughed, content to get a rise out of you.

“Seeing me after five years didn't even affect you one bit but you're getting mad about that?” He smirked. “Good. At least I got a reaction out of you.”

“What?”

He huffed and clenched his jaw, looking away in the direction of the sea. You had long turned off your flashlight but the moon was shining high above so your surroundings were still visible. You can even see the slight changes in Mark's expressions, including the pained look on his face that he tried to hide with a frown.

“I'm sorry,” you mumbled, taking your eyes off his face.

“No, you're not.”

“Really, I am,” you insisted. “I realized a long time ago how messed up that was. I shouldn't have done that to you.”

“A long time ago?” he asked so you nodded without looking at him. “Then why didn't you come back?”

“I couldn't, Mark. Not when I already had enough guts to leave.”

“That wasn't fair, y/n.”

You glanced at him and saw that he had been looking at you the whole time. You were hesitating to continue the conversation and deep in your mind, you were wondering how you both ended up talking about this, only to realize you brought it up first. “I know that, Mark. I just...” You gave up trying to explain and just huffed.

“What? You're not even gonna explain yourself? After all these years you'd still shut me out? Don't I deserve to know how I ended up getting hurt when all I ever did was love you?”

You folded your legs together and buried your face in your palms, the surge of emotions coming onto you like a freight train. The pain and guilt that you buried deep in your memory for years is now screaming right at your face as if instead of dying, it grew roots and branches and leaves.

“Why did you do that?”

Yeah, why did you?

You were huffing as you rushed out of the taxi cab and ran straight in the direction of that hell-hole of a house. As soon as you reached the door, you pounded on it nonstop, demanding your aunt to come out and talk to you. It opened soon after, revealing an intoxicated man.

“What are you doing here, you ungrateful bitch?” your uncle spat but you brushed past him into the living room.

Your aunt was laughing in front of the television, a cigarette in her hand and a few bottles of alcohol on the coffee table.

“Did you do it?”

She didn't even look at you. “Do what? Be specific when you're asking questions.”

“My salary from the diner. Did you cash it out?”

She appeared to think. “Oh, the diner? Yeah. Yes, I did. Just a few months’ worth. We're behind on the water bill you see.” She pointed at the stack of mail on top of the cabinet by the doorway.

You grabbed them and saw several pieces of mail from the water provider. You took a deep breath to calm down but your voice still cracked. “Why would you do that?”

“I told you. We needed money for the water.”

“But that was for my tuition.”

“It's okay, I'll pay you back.”

“Aunt, you never pay me back! You always say you do, but you never ever paid me back!” you hollered at her, now straight-up crying.

Your uncle rounded the living room and hit the back of your head. “Keep your voice down in my house!”

You watched as he sat next to your aunt on the couch and took a bottle of beer. You were still crying and they didn't even seem to care one bit.

“Auntie, please,” you pleaded. “An advance of three months? What else would I be getting from that? I need to pay for school. I need to feed myself too!”

For the first time since you arrived, your aunt looked at you with disdain. “And are we supposed to just live without a water supply? What's gonna happen to us? The house is gonna reek!”

“It already reeks even with running water!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, shaking in anger.

“Why are you screaming so early?” your uncle threw a bottle at you that barely missed your head.

You froze with your eyes widened in shock, horrified that you had almost been hit right in the face. Sadness suddenly left you, leaving a burning rage in your heart. You felt like you would convulse as rage rose to your head. Your eyes were bulging and the sight of them looking unconcerned is making your heart explode. You crumpled the pieces of mail in your hand and lunged at the table to flip it over. You grabbed the baseball bat from its fixture on the wall and started hitting the alcohol bottles, breaking them to pieces while your aunt and uncle screamed in terror and bewilderment at your actions. As soon as you had your fill of violence, you stood up in the middle of the living room, huffing contentedly before dropping the bat.

“Y/n! What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack!” Your aunt chided and you're now convinced she's too drunk to make sense of what was actually happening.

“You can both drop dead. I don't care.”

You left the house feeling like shit. It reeked so much there that you had to smell yourself to make sure it didn't stick on you. You spat on the ground, disgusted when you think about how you managed to live in that place for a long time. Your eyes were still wet with tears when you noticed the crumpled mail in your hand. You stopped walking to look at it, recognizing the crest of a university you applied to a year ago, at the beginning of your freshman year in college. It was addressed to you and you opened it to read the contents. Your mind focused on the large letters right below the long introductory line and covered your mouth in surprise.

“We are pleased to inform you that your application had been approved!”

You sat on your heels, weeping in utter happiness after what you've just read. You immediately fished out your phone and dialed the number on the letter, afraid to waste another moment, especially after finding out that the letter had been mailed to you over five months ago. You talked to the woman on the phone who seemed delighted to hear from you.

“Yeah, I lost it in my stack of mail because I recently changed my address. I was wondering if the offer still stands?”

“Of course! We only welcome freshmen applicants who passed but for those who received an offer, we are inclined to accept sophomores too.”

You were sure the woman on the other line could hear you crying as you thanked her. She hung up after a polite goodbye and a promise to see you in New York by the start of the fall semester. You wiped your tears and composed yourself as you continued walking. But as soon as you walked out of the house's unkempt picket fence, you saw Mark come out of a corner.

“Babe!” he grinned when he spotted you. “There you are! I was looking for you!”

You felt nervous all of a sudden, wondering why he was there and how he knew you'd be in this part of the city.

“Mark—” You couldn't even finish your speech when the voice of your screaming uncle made you glance back to the house. He was angrily calling your name, waving a baseball bat in the air as he screamed that you're a wicked bitch for making a mess in his house. You grabbed Mark by the hand and pulled him out of there, not stopping until you reached the highway.

“What's going on? Who was that?”

“No one,” you panted, holding onto your knees as you caught your breath. “That's no one.”

“He called you a bitch. What's going on baby? Do you know that man?” He helped you up and lifted your chin so you were looking at him. As soon as he saw your tear-stained face, he pulled you into a tight hug. “Hey? What's wrong? What happened? I'm here, y/n. You can tell me.”

“Nothing, Mark. I'm fine,” you argued, your voice breaking as you tried to pull away from his hug. You hit his arms when he wouldn't let go. “Let me go!”

Mark did as you asked, backing away a few paces to give you space. “Okay. Just tell me what's going on. Is he related to you? Did he hurt you? What are you doing on this side of town? You know there are a lot of thugs around here.”

You took a deep breath and looked right at him. “This is where I live, Mark.”

Mark seemed surprised, but the worry on his face didn't leave as he approached to hold your shoulders again.

“Is that man your dad? Is he hurting you?” He scanned your body for any sign of injury. When he looked at your shoulder, he stopped to gaze into your eyes. “The bruise on your shoulder from before, was that by him?”

“He's not my dad.” You shook his hands off of you. “My parents are dead.”

Mark's mouth hung open. “Why didn't you tell me that?”

You felt upset when he asked that. All of a sudden, you were flooded by the feeling of helplessness and loneliness that you endured ever since your parents passed away when you were 15. You blamed them for leaving you behind and letting your aunt and uncle treat you like shit. You blamed them for leaving you to suffer by yourself. And you blamed them because you were lonely and sad for a long time. Meeting Mark was a good way to forget about the immense sadness. But now, even that has been tainted by the loss of your parents.

“Why? So you'd pity me? So you can keep thinking about it and look at me like how you're doing right now?”

“Babe—”

“Or what? So you can decide if I am qualified to be in your life or not?”

“Baby!” Mark scolded. “I did not say that!”

“Then what is it? Did you want to know so you can see if I can make you happy while bringing out the best in you?” you spat, his mom’s words echoing in your head.

“Hey,” he called lovingly as reached for you again but you dodged. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm done, Mark. It's over.”

Mark sighed and held your hand. “Come on. You're emotional. Let's go get some air. We'll talk after you feel a little better.”

“Where are you taking me, Mark? To your fancy house? To that fancy hotel that you paid for with your dad's money?”

“Baby, please. Don't do this.”

“Or, or are you taking me to that damned cove because I'm so easy and I'd let you fuck me anywhere?”

Mark stopped walking and stared at you dead in the eyes. The look almost made you wake up from your angry stupor but you just scoffed.

“Did I hit a nerve?”

“Y/n, why are you doing this?”

“I'm done, Mark. We're done. So please, leave me alone.”

You walked on the opposite side of the road while Mark chased after you.

“Don't push me away, y/n. Come on! Let's talk about this. You're upset right now. Let's talk when you're a little bit calmer!”

But you paid him no mind and got into the taxi cab that stopped in front of you when you called for it.

Mark never gives up. You know that and you loved that about him. But now that he's not giving up on you, you feel suffocated. He kept blowing your phone so much that you had to block him. He cornered you in your classes that you stopped attending. You even pulled out of the junior librarian job because he was there. It's all good because you're leaving after the semester anyway. You spent the days filling out forms and preparing yourself for New York. Dianne was kind enough to lend you money without asking why and you were able to pay off your advances from the diner before you quit your job there. You promised her you'd pay her but she told you not to worry too much and take your time. Mark had been camping out of the dorms and several times you saw him get kicked out by the dorm lady. You've been cooped up in the building, not leaving to avoid running into him.

You realized after that confrontation with Mark that you were horrible to him. You were mean and cruel and he didn't deserve any of that. You were upset and justifiably so, but Mark shouldn't have been at the receiving end of your rage. Unfortunately, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. You didn't mean anything you said about him, especially the part where you want to break up. But as you thought about it for days, you realized it was better to break it off with him. You're not planning on coming back here anyway.

Your school announced your departure just before the day you leave. It was great news to be offered a spot in such a prestigious school that your university had to make a big announcement out of it. It was mainly Spencer's idea and the school administration was on board with it. That was how your friends found out that you were leaving. Mark too.

“New York? That's amazing!” Nadine told you while you were at the diner the night before you left.

“I'm friends with a genius. How great is that?” Stan was fake crying as he hugged you. You couldn't help smiling at the support from your friends. But then the bells of the door rang and you turned to see Mark entering the diner.

Stan let go of you and smiled sheepishly. “I hope you don't mind I invited Mark. I mean, I know you broke up and all but hey, he's still your friend, right?”

“You two broke up?” Timmy exclaimed, followed by gasps of surprise from Nadine and Dianne.

“Y/n! Is it true?”

Stan looked surprised. “You guys didn't know? I thought everyone knew.”

“Did Mark tell you that?” Nadine asked.

“Mark?!” your friends turned to him.

“No. I kinda just assumed it. I haven't seen them together for days and y/n haven't hung out with us for a while too so I thought they broke up,” Stan explained.

Dianne started laughing and turned to Owen. “Hey, didn't we have a transaction we need to take care of?”

“Transaction?”

“The books, Owen. For the library. Let's go. We have to take care of it now.” She turned to you and said, “Congratulations, sweetie. Sorry, but we have to go now. Those books are really really important.”

Nadine and Timmy stood up too. “You know what, I think I'll go study for the exams.”

“I thought the exams were over?” Stan questioned and Timmy glowered him knowingly.

“Unlike our smart y/n, I have to retake a few subjects.”

“I'm sleepy as heck,” Nadine added.

You sighed as your friends came up with the lamest excuses to leave but you didn't want to interfere. Maybe it's for the best that you have this final talk with Mark anyway. He deserved that much.

“I guess I'll leave you two alone to talk,”

Stan said, taking his bag and waving goodbye.

Mark sat right next to you, hugging you on your side and burying his face in the crook of your neck. He stayed still like that for a moment and you felt your heart melting into the warmth of his embrace. A part of you is wishing he wouldn't let go and that you can just stay that way forever.

“I love you,” he whispered, just as you started feeling the wetness on your shoulder. Mark's crying. For the first time, you're seeing Mark cry.

You made a move to get him off of you but he tightened his hold.

“Please,” he begged and you swallowed the lump in your throat to stop yourself from crying.

You stayed like that for a while, letting him hug you while you stroke his back affectionately. Eventually, you realized you couldn't stay in that diner all night, so you left and he walked you to your dorm, holding your hand in his tightly, like he was scared to let go. He stopped you from entering the dorm, knowing he wouldn't be allowed inside but you gave him a smile.

“It's okay. The dorm lady said I can bring you inside for my last night on campus.”

It was true. When you surrendered some of the dorm stuff that you needed to return before leaving, the dorm lady congratulated you for making it to NYU. She also told you that you could bring in your heartbroken boyfriend who had been sitting outside the dorm for days now. It will be her way to wish you good luck in New York. Mark saw that it was true when the dorm lady smiled at the two of you by the entrance and warned you not to wake everyone. You were still hand-in-hand even as you entered your now empty dorm room. The only thing intact was the bed and the sheets weren't even yours anymore but the dorm's.

“I'll go wash up. Have a seat,” you told him but he hugged you from behind, refusing to let you out of his sight.

You ended up lying in bed with Mark, looking into each other's eyes as he played with your hair. There was a pain in his eyes that he failed to hide and you were trying not to break down crying in front of him.

“Please tell me this is the reason why you're breaking up with me.”

“No,” you answered truthfully.

“Baby...” he pleaded, forehead creasing as he did. “It's okay. New York is far but we can make it work. I'll come to you from time to time.”

“Mark, it's not that.”

“Then what is it?” he demanded. “I love you, y/n. I loved you so much. I have loved you for an entire year and each day I spent loving you, I saw no reason to stop.”

“I know that. I love you too.”

Mark's face lit up. “You do?”

“I do. More than anything.”

Mark kissed you right then, pulling you into his embrace so you were flush against his body. You kissed him back, realizing at the time just how much you missed him. Your kisses got deeper and noisier, getting into your heads as he rolled over to cage you underneath him. He pulled away for a few seconds, looking into your eyes and seeing nothing but your love for him.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, Mark.”

And so, your last night in the university, in the city, ended with Mark inside you, raw, steady, sensual, and gentle with the right amount of aggression. Just like how you would remember him to be for the next few years.

“I have to leave, Mark,” you told him outside the airport. He drove you from your city to next where the airport was, holding your hand and humming happily to the song. Mark woke up feeling great today, unaware of the truth that you're keeping from him. You know it was cruel, you know you'd break him to pieces, but your selfishness won't let you leave without seeing him for the last time. Even in your final few seconds here, you wanted to be with Mark.

“I know. But you'll come back. I can wait,” he chimed, kissing the back of your hand. You were in his car, parked outside the airport and he had been showering you with his love and innocent little kisses the whole time.

“No,” you croaked, eyes stinging when tears threatened to fall from them. “I'm not coming back.”

Mark frowned, chuckling. “What do you mean? Why not?”

“There's nothing for me to come back to,” you confessed, swallowing your tears to put on the cruel persona that you've prepared.

“Baby, I'm here. What do you mean there's nothing to come back to?”

You just shook your head and he stared at you for a while to see if you were lying. You didn't back down.

“Not even me?” he finally asked so you looked away, one hand ready to open the door on your side.

“Not even you.”

When your plane left that day, you also left everything behind. Your friends, your past, the things that you don't need, and the ones that you need. You left the one you needed the most, the boy you loved and never stopped loving until now, the most beautiful boy you've ever known. Your Mark Lee.

“I loved you, you know. I was down from the start, even when you haven’t told me anything about you,” Mark began, eyes shifting back to the sea. “I would have loved you for whoever you are. I showed you who I am. All of it, even the ones that I considered were bad, you loved me for them. I would have done the same.”

“That's easy for you to say, Mark.”

“And I would have proven it!” he roared, glowering at you for a moment before looking away again. “You didn't give me the chance, y/n.”

“I'm sorry. I was scared.”

“I understand that. But I welcomed you into my life. I made you an important part of my world,” he paused and looked at you with a mixture of hatred and pain on his face. “You made me a fantasy you dive into when you want to escape your misery, y/n. I understand why you'd do that, but you shut me out when all I ever did was love you, support you, and be there for you! None of it would have mattered. I would've supported you when you left! I would’ve gone to you once you decide to never come back I would've fought those assholes for you!”

“I didn't need you to do that, Mark. I just needed you to be you. I wouldn't have asked for any of that.”

“Fine. I get it,” he grunted. “You didn't trust me enough to share your struggles with me. But if I had known about it, if I had known you left because of it, I wouldn't have spent all these years hating you when I loved you so much.”

You stared at him, processing his words in your head. It felt like your mind was firing up with all the information you were getting. But your eyes found his lips and you couldn't even think to stop yourself before you pulled his collar and kissed him. He kissed you right back, aggressively, torridly, biting and sucking without mercy. When you pulled away, overwhelmed by his aggression, he smirked at you.

“You haven't changed at all, have you? Do you still like grabbing people by the collar?” he asked, obviously not looking for an answer when he kissed you again, lifting you to sit across his lap while he unzipped the back of your dress.

You let his hand wander, even arching your back when his lips traveled to your chest. He sucked your skin, bruising it and leaving marks all over you while you moan and grind on his hips.

“Oh, Mark!” you whimpered, grinding faster and harder against his clothed cock. Mark hitched your dress up, pulling your underwear down and thumbing your clit.

“That's right, baby. Call my name,” he smirked. “Call my name. I bet you missed that, huh? Or did you meet another Mark back there?”

You moved to unbuckle his belt but he stopped you, gently slapping your hand away and chuckling. He took off his coat and placed it on the sand before laying you down there. When his weight left you, you called for him, making him grin cockily as he stripped you off of your underwear. You watched as he unbuttoned his pants and let it fall to his knees.

“Turn around.”

“What?”

“Turn around, on your hands and knees.”

You felt humiliated being ordered around like that, but that didn't get in your head and instead, turned you on. There was something about Mark right now that is unfamiliar to you. Has he changed over the years? It doesn't matter, you were too lost in your lust to think about it and just want him inside of you.

A scream tore out of you when he suddenly pushed his cock in, roughly, without warning. He covered your mouth while you winced in pain, feeling like you had been brought back to the first time you ever had sex, which was with Mark as well.

“Does it hurt?” he asked in your ear, his voice mean and menacing. “Good. You probably deserved it.”

He started bucking his hips, thrusting violently into you. You should be angry, but you're only crying in so much pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he grabbed a fistful of your hair. He slapped your ass cheek once, and then twice, and several times again because each time he did you let out the lewdest, naughtiest moan he's ever heard. You were dirty because of lust, because of Mark. And you didn't mind, you liked it. You liked how he ravaged your skin with bruises caused by his intense kisses. You liked how your ass is stinging with each spank. You liked how he's drilling into you and thrusting hard like there's no tomorrow. You liked the disrespect and the bouts of pleasure that it sent through your entire body.

“Cum, baby. Don't be shy, let it go,” he ridiculed when your cries turned into faint whimpers. “I said do it!”

He thrusted roughly into you and that sent you into a spiraling orgasm that had you collapsing on weakened limbs. Mark stopped, letting you fall limp on his coat before gently turning your body so you were lying on your back. He wiped the sweat on your forehead and tucked away the hair that gathered on your face. Then he planted one tender kiss on your forehead.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, laying his head on your chest. “Was it too much?”

“Why? You can't handle it?” you challenged so Mark lifted his head. He looked at you with a deadpan expression.

“How are you still atrocious with your words?”

“How are you still obsessed with my body?” you retorted and Mark shrugged.

“To be fair, it's an immaculate body.”

“And your dick is still hard,” you pointed out. Mark smirked at you and positioned himself on top of you.

“So I can fuck you into oblivion but you'd still have enough audacity to get smart with me?”

You just giggled while Mark leaned to kiss you. He prodded your entrance again, taking a few test penetrations before doing it fully as if he hadn't already left you wet and overly lubricated with your own juices. Mark fucked you again, this time in a way that's more like Mark, like how you remembered it to be. When he started losing strength in his arms and his movement became erratic, you knew he was close so you wrapped your legs around his torso, telling him to keep going. Mark went faster and harder until he pushed his very last thrust and came inside of you. You bit your lip, satisfied by the sex and even more so by the look on his face. You missed this man so much and you also missed how you can reduce him into such a mess with just your body.

“If I get you pregnant, that's on you,” he quipped, laying on top of you. You giggled, wrapping your arms around him. “I guess that's fine too because you'll have to marry me. I don't want my child to grow up with a broken family.”

“Well first, how do you know I'd keep it?”

“I don't, but assuming you would, I won't let him grow up without me.”

“And second, that's not gonna happen because I take birth control religiously.”

He lifted his head and frowned at you. “Do you sleep around in New York?”

You scoffed at the intrusive question and he shook his head briskly and pressed his cheek on your chest again.

“No, never mind. Don't tell me. You could have had a hundred boyfriends there, I don't care. You're here right now, so that's all that matters.”

You pushed him off of you but he wouldn't budge. “For the record, you were so obsessed with me before that I had to regularly take birth control pills. It just became a habit. I haven't been sleeping around, unlike someone I know.”

“Are you accusing me?”

“If the shoe fits.”

Mark just laughed as he stood up to put his pants back on. He then helped you up and gave you your underwear that he had kept out of the sand by placing it safely on the rock. He also helped you zip your dress back up before nuzzling on your neck.

“You smell different.”

“Perfume.”

“Yeah. I like it.”

“You like this perfume?”

“No. I like whatever you wear as long as it's your skin.”

You scoffed and pushed Mark away. “Hey, aren't you supposed to be mad at me right now?”

He shook his head and pulled you back into his embrace. “I don't care about any of that now.”

“Ah, so sex solves everything?”

“Of course not. But I do know you wouldn't have sex with me if you didn't still have feelings for me.”

“Presumptuous.”

“Was I wrong? As far as I know, you hate casual hookups.”

“That was before. How do you know I never hooked up in the last few years?”

“I do know you never dated anyone after me,” he grinned confidently and you were dumbfounded. “Why was that?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Stanley needs to zip his mouth, seriously.”

You huffed, leaning on his chest and letting him inhale more of your scent.

“I'm sorry, baby,” he cooed after a few minutes just quietly cuddling. “I'm sorry that I wasn't the safe haven you needed me to be.”

“No, I am sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that. You've been nothing but good to me. And somewhere along the way, you were too good for me and I tend to ruin everything that is good.”

Mark buried his face on your neck again.

“I kept thinking about you, you know. That's why I never really moved on. I kept thinking that maybe if I opened up to you it wouldn't be hard to give this city a chance. Maybe if I let you in, we could be happy even when I'm away. Maybe if I trusted you to accept me for who I am, I wouldn't be so miserable.”

“What if we try again?”

“Mark, I can't possibly put you through that again,” you complained, turning to face him but he captured your lips, shutting you up until you were weak and vulnerable underneath him again.

Your stay was extended and during that, you let Mark reel you in, showering you with the love he wished he had given you during those missed times. Your days were filled with reminiscing and reliving your youth by revisiting the old places you used to go to and doing the things you used to love doing with him. It was fun and you found yourself wishing time would stop for the two of you. Sometimes you think about not leaving, but you know there is no life for you here. Your love for Mark may be a valid reason to stay, but love alone is not enough to be content with your life. You have already established yourself in New York and that's where you are content with your life. The happiness part is still a work in progress, but you've achieved a lot so far and you can't risk all of that for love alone.

On your last day in the city, a lawyer came looking for you in your hotel room and told you about an inheritance. The visit prompted you to visit your old house, now abandoned after your uncle went to jail and your aunt died of lung cancer caused by secondhand smoking a few years ago. You were told that it is yours now, given that you were her only living relative and your uncle doesn't qualify because they were never married. You have a choice to keep it or sell it. You decided to sell it, not even hesitating. You never had fond memories there anyway.

“Wow, how long has this place been abandoned?” Mark asked as he followed you inside. The place was clean and you assumed they had it cleaned out after your aunt died. You've been told she died in the hospital but she also had a bad case of hoarding junk and the house was a complete mess before authorities were called in. Despite the neat appearance, cobwebs covered the ceilings and dust sat on every piece of furniture, a sign that no one had lived there for a long time.

“Long enough,” you replied, walking towards your bedroom. Even that was cleaned up. Nothing else remained except for a few pieces of furniture that had always been there. You didn't waste time reminiscing or looking around because you knew there was nothing to find there. You took everything important to you when you left so there really is nothing else to take.

Except maybe for the picture on the wall. One that is of your mother and your aunt. They look so much like each other with just a few distinguishing pictures. You took it from the wall and dusted it, tucking it on your side before turning to Mark. You gave him a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

“Let's go?”

“Let's go,” he nodded, offering his hand for you to hold on to.

You thought you would have a breakdown in there once you remember everything that pained you and everything that ruined your girlhood. You thought you'd fall back into the abyss of misery, but you didn't. You didn't even feel anything at all other than a slight tug when you saw your mother's picture. The house will be sold and you will never need to go back there again. Ever.

“Time to go,” Mark smiled at you after he dropped you off at the airport.

“It's been fun, Mark,” you told him, smiling bitterly at the thought of leaving your love behind. Again.

Mark laughed derisively as if trying to deny the situation. “No. Not again, y/n. I thought we're gonna work this out?”

“I've made a life for myself there, Mark. There's nothing for me here.”

“Me? I am here.”

You sighed, reaching to touch his cheek. “If I could, I'd take you with me anywhere. I want you as much as I want the life I've been dreaming of. But I've made big leaps, Mark. I can't jump back down.”

“I understand. But would you think about it? You don't have to live here. We can make this work, you know. I can go to you.”

“It won't make me feel any better to know that you're sacrificing your own life for me,” you sighed.

“I'm not. I'm making my own choices.”

You just smiled and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you.”

“I'll call you.”

“Sure. You can do that.”

He scooped you up in a hug and kissed you before you went to board your plane.

Two weeks in, you met Nadine for brunch in New York. She had been complaining about losing you to Mark so she travelled just to see you.

“So, you're like, LDR?”

“The LD part, yes. But we're not really in a relationship. He wants to, but I kept discouraging it.”

“Why?”

You gave her a stern gaze. “Because we're grown adults now, Nadine. We can't casually date around anymore.”

“Of course we can. But you won't because you're thinking of dating with the prospect of marriage.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Not explicitly, but you're doing it subconsciously,” she argued, pointing to her temple. “I can hear it in your tone.”

“Since when were you an expert on my tone?” you ridiculed, shaking your head.

“Since college? You never really changed that much, hun.”

You shook your head again, giving up on the argument and eating your food. Nadine checked her phone for a second and pointed out the date.

“Today's the 17th. Mark should be here by now,” she quipped, showing you her screen.

“In New York? Why?” you questioned, curious.

“Yeah. The last time we talked, he said he'd fly back on the 15th. Why do you think I chose now to come? So we could all meet up.”

“I'm sorry, fly back? Why would he be flying back?”

Nadine looked at you in surprise. “You don't know? He never told you?”

“No. He never told me anything about coming here.”

Nadine dropped his fork and covered her mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, I wonder why he didn't? He's been living here since last year. He got a job in an art museum.”

“He did what?”

Nadine sighed and shook her head disapprovingly. “For someone who's big on career and aspirations, you seem to not care about Mark's at all.”

“Hey, I do. We just don't talk about that stuff,” you defended, taking your phone out to see if he ever mentioned coming to New York.

Indeed, you don't talk about careers, mainly because you were reluctant to tell him you were doing so well as a professor and you didn't want to hear he has a good, stable job back home. Hearing that would make you feel even more upset about the fact that he can't leave that city and you can't go back either. So you avoided it. But why wouldn't he even mention that he's literally in the same state as you are when he knows it's a big deal for you?

Nadine told you where Mark worked and what his job was, then you headed there right after brunch. You realized it wasn't even that far and you're not just in the same state but in the same city! Just a couple blocks from your workplace was the museum where Mark worked as an art curator. And ever since last year, you have visited that museum more than a dozen times as a field study with some students. You walked in there, looking around the familiar building. When you spotted a lady who looked like a staff, you approached her to ask.

“Hi. I'm looking for Mark Lee. He's an art curator here, I believe,” you began and she gave you a kind look of discouragement.

“I'm sorry, but it won't be possible to meet an executive staff without an appointment. May I know what this is for? Maybe I can arrange something.”

You took out your ID and showed it to her. “I'm an Art professor. I just have a few things to discuss with him.”

“Oh, Miss y/n! I know you,” she smiled at you. “You're from NYU. If you would just follow me through here, I'll show you to his office.”

You thanked her and followed her into the elevator that brought you up several floors up the building.

“Mr. Lee is fairly new here but he's done a pretty good job so far. Everyone's just amazed at his efficiency and his knowledge of Art History,” she told you as you walked through a corridor and a few offices before she stopped in front of one door with Mark's name on it.

“Mr. Lee is right here, in this office.”

The staff knocked and called out to him. When you heard Mark's voice from inside, you felt your heart jump nervously in your chest.

“Go ahead.”

You walked through the door and found Mark buried in some papers. When he looked up, his eyes widened in recognition of you and he immediately stood up to approach you.

"Hi!" he blurted, amazement evident on his face.

“Hey,” you greeted shyly, looking around his office. He pulled you into a tight hug and whispered how much he missed you several times.

“What are you doing in my workplace?” You couldn't help but smile at the sudden surge of nostalgia.

“Stalking you?”

He seemed to remember the same thing because he laughed. “Are you a regular here?”

“Yes but, I actually came to stalk you.”

“You're a really pretty stalker.”

Mark halted his work, calling for a break before he took you to a sandwich place across the street. Then you sat on a bench in front of a fountain that was also right in front of his workplace. He told you he was swamped with work as soon as he came back and he'd been meaning to surprise you if you hadn't surprised him first. He also said he knew you were a regular and that you always came from time to time to tour your students. But at the time, he was still pretty mad at you, so he just sneaked peeks at you.

“Like a stalker?” you quipped, making him laugh just as he was trying to drink.

“No, not in a creepy stalkerish way. But yeah, I guess.”

You smiled absent-mindedly, watching him eat through his sandwich like he had been starved. It was an adorable sight and the emotions filling your heart were satisfying and beautiful.

He soon noticed you gawking. “Oh, sorry. I skipped breakfast.”

“Why are you curating art?” you asked instead of responding to his apology.

“What do you mean? It's my job.”

“You're the art.”

Mark burst out laughing again for a good minute, hitting his thigh several times while you wore a smug smile, proud to have made him laugh so much.

“Sorry,” he blurted but then he started laughing again. “Gosh, y/n. You're a really bad flirt.”

“But I'm a good comedienne,” you boasted before taking a bite from your sandwich.

Mark started laughing again and you happily watched, looking out at the sky. The two of you sat on that bench, hand in hand, eating an amazing New York sandwich. Together, somewhere far from your old city, somewhere you can both be happy.

“Oh, god, I love you,” he blurted as soon as he recovered from too much laughing.

“Say that again.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“I love you.”

You giggled. “One more time.”

“I love you.”

“That's nice. Again.”

“Alright. Now you're just messing with me!”

“Say it, Mark Lee!”

“I love you!”

[Fin]

[gaslysainz]

Lost (PG10) pt4

Summary: The world is utterly unfair. He was her most prized possession, her life, her first ever commitment of love. But to him, she was just a mere person lost in his big world.

warnings: ; unrequited feelings; Pierre is a douche , arrange marriage, angst, explicit scenes and languages.

Author's Note~ Heya guys! I present to you the 4th part of my fanfic. I'm overwhelmed by the response ❤️ Really Thanks a lot to everyone who had liked the story so far. Something's have started to cook. Hope you look forward to it. Love You All 😘 Here's my first ever story for you guys. As soon as I finish this one, I'll start taking requests maybe! Till then please show your love and support for "LOST".

This one's a filler chapter, so please bear with me.

Something completely different happened today. A knock at my door woke me up from my 1 hour nap which has unfortunately turned into a 3 hour nap. I stood up from the bed and opened the door only to find my husband standing there and running a hand through his curls. Oh! What a sight! He looks like a Greek God.

"Hey! Did you need something? I'm sorry I fell asleep, also you can come inside"

He thanked me and entered my room, this is completely new. But nonetheless, I had to take a chance. He was looking around the room and the pictures hanging on the walls. His eyes stuck to one picture in particular. A picture captured by Pierre's mom of Isaac, Pierre and myself. It was Halloween and Isaac wanted to be a Vampire and on the other hand Pierre and Me were Romeo and Juliet. He was 6 and I was 4! We did not even know who Romeo and Juliet were! It was because of the elders who had insisted on these costumes! Oh! What I'd give to have those days back.

"You need something?"

"Ah! No, um actually yes, I have to attend an event with the rest of grid tomorrow. And you have to come with me. So be ready by 7pm tomorrow, will you? Wear something nice. I'll send someone with dresses for you to choose today in the evening. Just pick something from there."

There it is! Like I've mentioned before, he only remembers me when he needs something or needs to go somewhere to show off the world our so called amazing married life. *Scoff* But I'm not mad, at least I'll be able to meet HIM after so many days. The only person who happens to care even a little bit for me. Who always greets me with a beautiful smile on his face. A friend? Nope, he's like an angel for me.

I really hope everyone gets a friend like him!

" *Cough* *cough* You there?"

" Oh yea! I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted. Umm, Why don't you take Julia with you? I'm sure she would love to accompany you and also I'm sure she has several dresses in her wardrobe already. Won't even have to buy a dress last minute"

The look Pierre gave me after I mentioned Julia simply yelled 'ARE YOU CRAZY'. I mean I knew why he wouldn't take Julia, but I just find a different kind of satisfaction by reminding it to him.

"Um, I'll be ready tomorrow. Don't worry. By the way, where's Julia?"

"I sent her home, no need for her to stay here for these two days, either way we'd be busy. It'll only distract us."

Oh well! That was odd! Distract us from what exactly? Sometimes this man leaves no tables unturned to confuse me to no end. Anyways. I know better now than to crack my brain over these things. It's actually useless cause I won't get anymore clear answers from him than this.

"Any specific colour that I need to keep in mind while choosing the dress?"

"Not that I'm aware of, just keep it a bit formal. I'll get going. If Julia calls or comes asking for me, just tell her I've been out for a meeting since morning."

And then he rushed out the door, not before checking our childhood photo once again. Okay! That was highly confusing! I mean why was he avoiding Julia? Or am I reading too much between the lines? No one knows. I better go eat something until then.

But still, I'm a bit lost here.

LOST in confusion.

PS - Please lemme know what do you think about LOST and also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list ❤️

@peachiicherries @crimeshowjunkie @oblomovissad @torossosebs @janeholt3

[intosnarkness]

Kanej “Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

(1 2 or make up your own) (ask)

Inej hadn't been used to privacy at the Menagerie, so she hadn't really expected it when Kaz brought her back to the slat.

There were only so many rooms in the Slat, and no one was going to give a private space to a new recruit. So she'd expected to share with someone. Hopefully someone who would leave her alone.

She had not expected to share with Brekker himself.

"This is my room," he said, swinging the door at the top of the stairs open with a creak. Watching him get up here had been vaguely painful, but Inej knew better than to offer him help again. He would have to ask her. "Well, our room."

Everything she knew about Kaz Brekker told her that he didn't want her in his space. He didn't want anyone in his space. And she didn't know how she felt about being forced to share a room with the boy who had just brokered her purchase out of slavery.

"We're sharing a room?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. It made sense, she supposed. But she had hoped he wasn't going to be like this, wouldn't try to sleep with her so soon and so brazenly.

"Before you decide to murder me," he said, holding up his gloved hands, his cane still clutched by the crow's head at the top. "Let me explain?"

She hadn't even been thinking of murdering him. She'd mostly been considering if she could get out the window before he broke her leg with his cane. But she inclined her head, and let him speak.

"First of all, this is temporary. We need to clean out a storage room, and then you'll have your space. It's just going to require some manpower, and we didn't have any to spare tonight. It'll be done as soon as tomorrow."

Inej narrowed her eyes. In her experience, so far, "tomorrow" just barely existed. Things promised tomorrow never came, because it was always today. She didn't believe in "tomorrow", not the way it seemed to manifest on this terrible island.

"Second of all," Brekker was talking so slowly, so steadily. Like she was an animal he had to calm. "I won't be up here tonight. You have the room to yourself."

That seemed even more unbelievable.

"Where will you sleep?" Inej demanded, her hand on her hip.

"On a couch," he shrugs. "In Jesper's bed. Outside. I don't know, it doesn't matter."

It mattered. It mattered to Inej where he was going to sleep, and she didn't quite know why. Maybe because he was giving up his space, maybe because he had a bad leg. But it mattered to her that he sleep somewhere good.

"Does the door lock?" she asked, instead of saying all of that.

Kaz nodded and fished in his pocket for the key. "All yours, Miss Ghafa."

In another world, Inej thinks, she could have felt something for this boy. He would have come to see her perform, and waited out behind the tent with flowers and candies and they could have snuck into the woods on the outskirts of camp, giggling and touching and tasting. They would have stayed out until the sun rose, and he would kiss the morning dew off her cheeks.

She used to think like that, before she knew what men were. What people did to each other. It was ridiculous, a child's play of a romance. It wasn't meant for people like her, who had lived through the things she had.

But instead he's offering her a key, and a bed of her own. And she thinks it might be the most important present anyone has ever given her.

"Thank you," she says, but it's not enough. She doesn't know if it ever will be.

[my-owl-sub]

One; Quiet girl

M.list

Ten in morning. 10 am.

You stayed up that long, your eyes didn't seem to get heaver, maybe it was all the coffee and energy drinks you had throught the night.

You weren't painting surprisingly. But you were studying for the Greek Methology test that was today.

Burley the first four weeks of college and they are already dumping test on everyone.

You sigh, getting up from the ground your apartment was empty, small table in the living room with a few can bottles open and mugs laying around.

It was an empty space, some of your art work was laying around too. Heading to the bathroom rubbing your back from all the slouching you did all night.

You took a cold shower to wake up more, getting ready for the day.

Once you were done putting on your place you grab your bags and headed out the door.

Eleven-thirty am your classes didn't start until 12pm which gave you at least thirty minutes to get to there before they start.

You blasted music on ear buds playing cigarettes after sex. You always loved them, even though you never had a boyfriend since second year of high school.

They always seem to find your pace during the day.

Sitting down on your chair waiting to for class go start, you read a book called, A certain hunger by Chelsea G. Summer.

You were the first one there, you were confident in your hard studies. Haven't slept yet, maybe once you are done with your last class of the day you can take a nap.

"Wish me luck, man. I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose it if I get a bad grade" you heard a man's voice. You glace a look he looked like one of those popular boys. He sat near you a couple times before the beginning of classes.

"Alright, bye" he hung up the call, looking around he only saw you there.

'Don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me' you thought in you head. Bouncing your right leg, feeling the anxiety coming up.

You sigh in relief, he didn't sit near you. Only the same row but a table apart from each other.

Once the clock hit Twelve almost everyone started to get here.

It wasn't a big class but it was big enough to fill up about 70% of the seats in here.

You put your ear buds on playing music on low before starting the test. You guys had about 45 minutes for multiple and 30 for the wirting part.

You finished up the multiple taking a break, waiting for the others to finish or the timer to hit zero so you can start the wirting.

You sigh, giving the test paper to your professor. Now the lecture has started for the new lesson.

"Okay, we are going to make a presentation, and your skills of working together with someone." He started, speaking aloud so everyone could hear him.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes together. The tiredness is getting to you already. You can probably find a partner someone who isn't outstanding.

You looked around seeing most people talking to each other about the presentation.

"It will be due in two weeks. The requirements are in online class notes. So you and your partner can figure out what to do in those two weeks of making the presentation"

"And I won't be giving more time as well...class dismissed," he said, letting us leave 20 minutes early.

You got up, not even a second later, you were stopped by someone.

"Uh, hey," you looked up at the guy from earlier.

'Why me' you thought to yourself. "Hey?" You said confused. You knew he probably wanted to be your partner for this project.

"Do you like, wanna work on this project together?" He asked, he seemed nervous. Maybe he wasn't like those a-holes.

You stayed quiet for a bit before saying something: "Sure, we can start tomorrow," you said. He smiled.

"Okay, you got Twitter or any social?" He asked, pulling out his phone.

"No, but i can give you my number," you mumble, pulling out your phone to your contacts.

You both switch phones to put your information. "Great, I'll text you when and where you meet." His smile stayed the same.

"Uh, sure....have a good rest of your day," you bow, walking away and heading to your next class.

[celzarts]

"The Answer Was Love."

"I'm very happy to be Seth's friend... until that day comes." SethBelle angst based off that last line in the trust/companionship box. hope you guys like it!

“I’ll come over after my shift. Looking forward to another movie night!” Seth’s text read. Belle tossed her phone aside as she lounged on the couch in her room, a lingering smile on her face. Wise came out of his room and passed by her open door. Her smile caught his eye.

“Seth’s coming over again?” he asked. Belle nodded.

He gave her a knowing smile. “Alright. Don’t stay up too late. You’re opening up the shop tomorrow.”

“I know, I know,” she waved him off. He chuckled and heads downstairs. Belle could hear him opening the door to the staff room downstairs and Fairy greeting him with her robotic voice. She allowed her thoughts to drift again back to her boyfriend, Seth.

How was it that they had met, again? Like all of their other friends, he had stopped by the video store. His optimism and energy were perfectly matched for Belle’s, and it was just so easy to talk to him, either talking about movies, or when he’d invited her out to visit the florist at Lumina Square.

He was so easy to like. His pure ideal of justice, his passion for righteousness, his straightforward personality… Belle found herself constantly texting him and asking him to hang out together after his shifts. Getting him to finally realize that she wanted to be something more than friends was the hard part.

She giggled upon remembering his flustered face that evening as they were walking by the river along Lumina Square. “Wait- you- wh- huh?!”

“I like-like you, Seth. Could we go out together? Like… as a couple?” She fiddled nervously with her fingers as the gentle river breeze tousled her hair.

“Wh- you? And me? Wait, really? Hold on, does your brother know about this?” Seth’s panicked voice raised a pitch as his tail started to sway from side to side.

Belle laughed. “Yes, of course he does, silly. You come over to watch movies all the time!”

“I- yes, but I thought you did that with all your friends. And you watch movies with Wise too!” He looked away, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, his ears pricked upright.

“Yes, but not as much as you!”

It went on back and forth for what felt like an hour. Seth would get flustered, and then distracted, and Belle would have to pose the question to him again - it reminded her too much of those cheesy ‘will they, won't’ they’ rom-coms, except that this was very much real life and she just had to fall for the most innocent PubSec officer in the precinct.

Eventually after flailing her arms almost in rhythm to Seth’s wagging tail, she took his hand and hugged him close. While they had sat together on the couch many times before this, they had never been this close to each other, not even to Seth’s long tail which commonly draped over her cushions. He froze up, not moving a muscle. But as he finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around her, he sighed, “Yes, I… this is nice. I would very much like to be with you, Belle. I don’t know who… who else I’d want.”

Back in the present day, Belle kicked her feet. Not that she had much experience before, but Seth really had been the dreamiest boyfriend she could have ever asked for. And it would have been a perfect dream, except for what she did on the side.

Phaethon. Whenever Seth came over, Wise would take on the commissions so that Belle could wrap up on running the store, so as not to seem suspicious. But this couldn’t go on forever. She knew that as she and her brother got closer to the truth about Hollow Zero, their secret identity as Proxies would come to light. And well, hopefully by that time, proxies would no longer be outlawed anymore.

But would Seth be able to take such a betrayal? Knowing him, the very fact that she had lied or hidden anything from him would lead to a break of his trust. The thought that Seth might arrest her himself was a thought terrifying to Belle more so than any horror movie in Random Play.

As Seth’s arrival drew closer, Belle headed downstairs to tidy up the video stock and fully close up for the night. She thought to maybe head over to 141 to load up on some snacks for the movie session later, and to also get some supper for Wise. There were a bunch of commissions he had gotten from Shepherd, so it was going to be a long night ahead for him, and she knew her brother was not much of a night owl.

“Hey Wise, what sort of noodles would you like for dinner?” Belle asked as Bangboo 6 obediently pulled the door open for her. The blue glow of Fairy’s AI across the screens showed that Wise was currently piloting Eous through a Hollow.

“Hmm?” he hummed, his gaze fixated on the computer, glowing brightly as his eyes flickered around, clearly scanning his surroundings through Eous.

“If you don’t answer soon, I’m going to get pumpkin soup~” she sang, stepping in towards his seat, leaving the door open. Normally, she would never dare to do this, especially when the store was open. But the video store was closed and no customers were left. And Seth wasn’t due to arrive for another half an hour. 

“Ugh, ew! Spare me.” Wise made a face. “Uh, not you, Billy. Sorry, I’m talking to Belle.” He leaned back in the chair and turned to face her, eyes glowing. “Just get me a sandwich from 141.”

“What are you doing?” Seth’s voice rang in from the door.

“I- Seth?!” Belle jumped up, and so did her brother. Wise immediately tapped a few keys on the computer. His eyes dim, and Fairy disappeared from the screen, having the good graces to keep silent on this upcoming confrontation. Belle knows that Billy and the others were muted, but not left alone. Wise could still direct them through Eous, even if it would only be through gestures.

“You… What's going on here? What’s that?” Seth walked in, looking suspiciously at the computer set-up. “I thought this was a storage room for your videotapes? What’s all… this?”

“It is!” Belle laughed shakily, trying to point towards the shelves of tapes next to the television. “We also keep a computer down here, cos sometimes we get lazy to go up to our rooms just to search something up, right, Wise?”

“Uh… yeah! What’s wrong with a computer, Seth?”

“Hmm… nothing, except about the way your eyes were glowing. And what I saw on those screens up there was definitely Hollow data.”

“Um… that’s… research! Some movies are about Hollows, we’ve seen those together, Seth. Come on, I’m about to go get some snacks, let’s go to 141.” She tried to drag him away, tugging on his arms. But his tail was swaying slowly from side to side, ears flicking periodically. Belle knew he was thinking. Seth may be dense, but he wasn’t stupid. 

Her worst fear was about to come true.

“Belle…” Seth began, his voice almost a low growl. “Wise. Are you two… proxies?”

“I…” Belle faltered. She didn’t want to lie to him. Not anymore. Wise and her share a glance. He opened his mouth but closed it, raising his eyebrows. He was letting her make the call. It was Seth, after all.

She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes. Wise and I… we’re proxies.” 

“Unbelievable,” Seth snapped. He pulled his arm out of Belle’s grasp. “All this time?”

She didn’t dare to return his glare. Wise kept silent and looked down at his feet. Seth could feel his fur prickling. His hand twitched on the bag he was carrying. His officer gear was still in there, including a pair of handcuffs. But this was Belle. He wouldn’t arrest her, would he? All her chirpy conversations with him, the way she had offered comfort when he talked about his brother, all the silent moments by the river when they had just looked out at the Hollow with her head on his shoulder…

“Seth…” her quiet voice pierced through his thoughts. “Please. I.. I can explain.”

Proxies were outlawed. They took on the shady and dirty jobs that the HIA would never do, which usually meant illegal mining of Etheric matter, gang fights, and everything else, everything against what he stood for in Public Security. He was here to uphold the law, and here she was breaking it.

“I don’t want to hear it. There’s no explanation, no excuse, for knowingly breaking the law,” he said through gritted teeth. “We’re done.”

He almost ran out of the store, ignoring Belle’s cries behind him, a million thoughts in his head. His own voice berating him - you’re a fool, a fool for believing that she was just a sweet girl. You couldn’t see through people again. She played you like a chump and all this while you realised nothing. 

Was none of it real? He thought back, and somehow the voice in his head had no answer for him. The way she first took his hand, her kind words of comfort after he had another argument with his brother, her laughter every time he got flustered and mixed up his words… Was all of it just for show? Just to lead him on, to keep him preoccupied, so that he would never notice her illegal actions just right under his nose? They did always say that the safest place was always the most dangerous, and what better way to conceal her proxy activities than to distract an up-and-coming PubSec officer?

He shook his head violently, his tail flicking irritably back and forth as he continued on his way back to the PubSec dorms. So much for finishing up training earlier today. Seth walked through the dark and quiet office when he noticed a light still on in the office he shared with Captain Zhu Yuan and Officer Qingyi. He peeked in to see Qingyi still at her desk, scanning over the documents placed in front of her.

“Senior Qingyi? You’re still here?” he asked.

“Seth?” she looked equally surprised to see him. “I’m just scanning through some evidence while I charge a bit more. But didn’t you leave training earlier to meet with Belle? What are you doing back here?”

“Ah…” he looked away. The pain in his heart was still fresh.

Qingyi raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen how your ears droop when you’re upset. Did something happen?”

“I… We… She…” Seth struggled with the words. Should he tell Qingyi about Belle’s true identity now? Or just tell her that they were over and there was just nothing more to it? Sure, it’s not like Qingyi was someone he would consider a close enough friend to spill his feelings towards, but she knew Belle too.

He sighed. “Senior Qingyi… What do you think of Belle?”

She looked at him in surprise at his question, but her expression changed into a knowing one as Seth slid into his chair at his desk opposite of hers. “Did you two youngsters have an argument? That’s normal for relationships. Just give it some time and talk through it after.”

Seth groaned, slumping over onto the table. “Please, I don’t want any lectures now. Could you just answer the question?”

“Belle, huh… positive and easygoing. She’s fun to talk to, and pretty game for anything. Did you know she joined me when I told her about that hotpot challenge?”

“Oh, really?” This wasn’t news to Seth. Belle had told him all about it, and how they had both just failed the very very spicy challenge, and she was complaining about how much her mouth hurt that day. Remembering her pout and how it led to them sipping on boba tea while on a walk around Lumina Square, fingers interlocked, brought a wisp of a smile onto Seth’s face. 

But no. That’s over now. He hit his head on the table with a thunk. Qingyi paused in between her own sharing of that hotpot event and looked over. 

“You know…I think she’s hiding something. Her and her brother,” Qingyi quietly said. 

Seth jolted up. “You think so?” When Qingyi looked over in puzzlement, Seth realised his reaction and averted his eyes. “I mean, I just… ugh, I don’t know.”

“There’s that righteousness of yours again, Seth.” Qingyi tapped a finger on her desk and pointed it at him. “I scanned her Bangboo. It’s clearly modified beyond even what we have here at PubSec. And… I’m pretty sure it’s the same Bangboo as the one belonging to that Proxy that saved me and the Captain in the Hollow.”

“And you… never thought to investigate?”

“Why should I?”

“Didn’t you think it was… suspicious? Or that it needed reporting?”

“Sure, but she saved me and Zhu Yuan. I don’t know about what you think, but that to me is enough to not warrant an arrest.”

“But, but…” Seth sputtered. Qingyi rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Seth. You’ve worked for a while already, surely you know that justice isn’t always black and white. If she’s using it for good, then isn’t that good enough? It’s just a means to an end.” The twinkle in Qingyi’s eyes told Seth all he needed to know that she already had the siblings figured out. But it was in no one’s best interests to reveal anything.

“Plus,” she continued, “did you hear her out on why she was supposedly doing such illegal activity?”

Grudgingly, he shook his head. His tail drooped in defeat. He knew he had let his own sense of justice and his emotions get the better of him again, much like that case with Jane where he almost jeopardised the investigation.

“You see? I told you, just take some time off, then talk it out. You’ll work it out,” Qingyi said.

Now it was Seth’s turn to roll his eyes. “Uuuugh.”

Belle pressed her knees close to her chest. She had already gone through an entire box of tissues, but the tears were still streaking down her cheeks and she was still sniffling. The movietape lay unopened on the coffee table in front of her. She had been so sure that Seth would enjoy the action flick she finally managed to get her hands on after telling him about it for months. He was probably never going to get around to it now.

“Belle?” A soft knock on the door and her brother’s muffled voice came through her sobs and sniffles. Seemed that he managed to wrap up the commission with the Cunning Hares earlier than expected. She could hear his sigh and the awkward shuffling of his feet. “Look, take all the time you need. But I’ll…I’ll start packing tonight. I’ve already called on Caesar and the rest of the Sons of Calydon, and they’ll help to pick us up. I’ll help you out in the morning, okay?”

She doesn’t respond, and Wise doesn’t wait for her to do so, and she hears him shuffle away to his room. Packing. They would have to move, again. And after all these years at Sixth Street, she had wanted to call it home. It was home. They had built Phaethon here, and even after losing that account, they were building back the new one just fine. They were getting so close to finding out the truth. But for their own safety, they would need to move, move to somewhere where the rules of Public Security were looser, where it would be safer for them. It was already risky living in the city right under PubSec’s nose. But now that an officer like Seth knew the truth, the risk was too great. The truth about their mentor took precedent.

Belle wished it didn’t have to. Life almost felt… normal, with Seth. Just running a videotape store recommending quirky movies to regulars, eating noodles down the corner, going on coffee dates by the riverside, she actually felt like a regular citizen. A citizen kept safe from crooks and criminals thanks to Public Security officers like Seth. And now thanks to PubSec officers like him, they had to become fugitives. Again.

She threw a cushion at her television in frustration, letting out a strangled cry. 

The next morning, Wise picked up the boxes from his room and carried them downstairs. Noticing the pile of boxes already there, he placed them down and peered into what was left of their staff room, to find Belle already sitting on the sofa, staring listlessly at the television news broadcast, and holding a coffee cup.

“Belle…” he said softly, his eyebrows furrowing. As he slid onto the sofa next to her, she flung her arms around him tightly and began sobbing into his chest. “Silly girl… you should’ve let me help you with your packing,” he said, embracing her tightly as he gently ruffled her hair.

Her eyes puffy and her cheeks still pink, Belle and Wise load up most of their boxes into Steeltusk. She was very thankful that Piper was the sole driver from the city; she wasn’t sure if she would be able to speak on things to Burnice and Lucy, and she didn’t know how much Wise had told them about why they had to suddenly move to Blazewood. 

As Wise loaded up the HDD where Fairy resided into their car, Belle spent one last lingering moment in the video store. The empty shelves that were once full of videotapes, the bustling counter where they had met their members, the staff room where they did all their commissions.

And upstairs, her cosy, comfortable room, where she had once watched many movies with Seth.

“Do you both really have to go? We all saw you as part of our family here on Sixth Street.” Belle remembered the conversation she had with Elfy when she had popped by Bardic Needle to say goodbye.

“Yeah, and so far out of the city, all the way to the Outer Ring?” Enzo had chimed in.

Belle could only smile sadly. Elfy and Enzo had shared a glance, and did not press further. General Chop, however, was a bit more blunt.

“Pah, I guess that’s what happens when you get too close to a police officer,” he had grumbled, earning him a sharp elbow to his ribs from Tin Master.

“You’re always welcome back here,” Elfy said, taking her hands. “We’ll hold on to the store for as long as we can. We… can’t bear to see you go.”

Belle’s eyes had watered, again, as she nodded before heading back to the store, its storefront now empty, its lights off, its interior dim and empty.

“Belle…?” Wise’s voice took her out of her memories. “Shall we go?”

He waited patiently, a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder. If anything, Belle was glad that her brother would always be standing by her side. “Mm,” she nodded, leaning in to him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked her to her side of the car. 

“Would it help if we stopped by…” Wise’s voice trailed off. Belle knew where he was suggesting - their true home, now in the depths of Hollow Zero. She nodded.

Seth ran through the streets. His chest was burning, his muscles flaring, his fur unkempt. His conversation with Qingyi had kept him up the entire night, reflecting. Ever since he became a practicing investigator, he had seen many more cases that he had learnt about in the academy. Many cases that ended up with no straightforward answer on whether or not justice had been served.

In most of those cases, he had managed to find a reasonable answer for himself. An answer that he could live with. But now faced with this broken relationship he had with Belle, he needed to get an answer from her. He knows that he had spat out yesterday that there was no explanation for knowingly committing a crime. But if it was Belle… he wanted to hear it now. He berated himself for letting his emotions and his mouth run before him.

He ran straight from training all the way to Sixth Street. Feeling his feet pound the street might have eased the pounding of his heart. He would hear her out. For her. For her. He arrived drenched in sweat and gasping for air. Now that he was here, Seth began to wonder if he should prepare something to say. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to apologize. If he had to apologize. Okay, yeah, maybe he had to apologize for some things that he had said.

As he walked down the street, it was hard to ignore the way the shopkeepers stared at him. Tin Master had turned to his coffee instead of giving him a wave, and General Chop had looked at him in disdain. Seth started to feel almost ashamed, ever since he became a Public Security officer. They were meant to be protectors, and yet here he was feeling like a criminal. Probably something he had made Belle feel when he had walked out on her yesterday. Ugh, now he felt like a real chump.

The storefront was empty when he approached it. The records box they left outside, the tapes in their window... The lights were out when the store should still be open at this hour. Seth felt a growing pit in his stomach. He ran towards the store, almost crashing through the door, and he heard his own voice crack as he shouted out, “Belle!”

His shout echoed through the now empty Random Play store. His eyes darted around. All the tapes were gone, even all their posters and decor. He ran into the archive where he had caught them, and it was cleared out, with some of the locker doors even left ajar. It was clear they had packed and left in a hurry. 

“No… it can’t be…” his voice trailed off as he dashed upstairs, taking two steps at a time, to see that their rooms had been cleared of anything that had made it theirs, leaving only the bare furniture behind. The cushions that had adorned the sofa in Belle’s room, her little trinkets, her photo wall… all gone. But he was relieved to see that she didn’t leave the photos they had taken together behind. She might have taken it with her.

“They left just a while before you arrived,” Elfy’s musical voice drifted through the ajar door as Seth ran back downstairs, panting. He blinked at her, mouth agape. Belle and him had gone on a date in her store before, listening to music and relaxing the day away. Elfy was no stranger to him, but now she looked at him with bitterness.

“I… where did they go?” He could only ask.

“To the Outer Ring,” she replied. He gasped. In all his missions, he’d been to Hollows, but never a place as… well, as seemingly lawless as the Outer Ring, where biker gangs and bandits appeared as though they ran amok without the arm of Public Security to wrestle them into order. That Belle would go to such a place? Just to avoid him?

Whatever her explanation was for being a Proxy was looking to be even more important to her and Wise than he had realised, if they had to leave to such a place to ensure they could continue with their work. And from the way that Elfy was looking at him now, it was also clear that she had known what the siblings were up to.

“...you knew as well?” he asked.

“Are you investigating me, officer?” Elfy shot back, a warning note in her voice.

“I… no. I don’t know.” He fumbled with his hands on his baton and his cuffs. She eyed him warily. Finally, he shook his head. “I just…I just want to see her again. And tell her I’m sorry. I just want… to know why she’s doing this.”

Seth and Elfy stood in silence for a long while. He looked up slowly, expecting her to have just left him in the darkness of the now quiet Random Play store that used to be playing movie trailers of all kinds, but was both glad and surprised to see her still standing there, leaning against the doorframe, chewing on her lip. Elfy turned away, and Seth thinks that now she is going to leave him in the dark.

But she gave him directions. “They went to Blazewood. They have some friends there from a…commission.” Her eyes flickered to him, and he knew what she meant. “We… The neighbours here on Sixth Street are holding on to the store for them, for a while. Until the precinct has to claim it back because the owners aren’t residing here anymore.”

Seth swallowed. Elfy looked him straight in the eyes.

“I hope you can convince them…convince her to come back. Despite what they seemingly do outside of the law, they’re our treasured friends that have helped us more than once. That surely outweighs their supposed crime, don’t you think?”

She turned and left, returning to her own store, leaving Seth to look down at his feet and ruminate on her words. Considering all the people that the siblings had helped, even saving Captain Zhu Yuan and Qingyi, plus he had heard that they had also supported Section 6, it got clearer and clearer that they had never intended to work for evil. Even more so, all these just proved that clearly, they were good at what they did as proxies. Perhaps even the best, much like what he had heard about a previous legendary proxy named Phaethon that was the talk of Inter-Knot and that had given Public Security a headache in trying to track them down.

Seth fired off a text to Zhu Yuan, letting her know that he needed to take an emergency leave for the next day as he jogged back to the dorm to pick up some extra clothes. She replied back just as quickly: ‘I heard something happened between you and Belle from Qingyi. If it’s an emergency, then please do go. Take care. It would be a shame to see the both of you turn sour.’

If even Zhu Yuan would say something like that… Belle and Wise were clearly cherished by the people around them. This wasn’t something justice could answer. He had to find something else, a different kind of reasonable suggestion that he could accept for himself. But now the main problem was… how was he going to get to Blazewood? He had never ventured far out from the city, much less to the Outer Ring. He was completely at a loss.

That is, until he saw a familiar biker walking across Lumina Square.

Belle sputtered as Caesar gave her a heavy pat on the back, causing her to almost drop Eous’ charging station. “Your brother told us that you guys were at risk of being found out as proxies and needed to relocate for a little bit. I’m sorry to hear that you had to move so quickly, I’m sure that’s always difficult. We’re here for you, eh? I’ll see you at Cheesetopia for dinner. Nitro-Fuel’s on me tonight, and we’ll talk it out, yeah?”

Belle nodded and managed to squeak out a ‘thank you’ under Caesar’s pats of comfort. As Caesar left the room to continue taking out the boxes from Steeltusk, Belle continued to plug the charging station in and straightened up, looking around the little house that they were now going to call home for the next few… days? Weeks? Months? She didn’t know. As much as she loved Blazewood and the Sons of Calydon, she still wished to be able to go back to Sixth Street.

Her new room was a lot smaller, for one. It was much more… rustic, as Wise had called it. The wooden boards would occasionally creak under the footsteps, and instead of the ambient sounds of the rumbling of traffic in the city, it was replaced with the roar of bike engines and the heavier rumble of trucks. 

She looked at the memory board she had put to the corner of the room. Her polaroids taken with Seth were still pinned on it. When she had packed she had just lifted up the whole thing and threw it in. Now that she was looking at it, filled with fond memories that she had with each of the friends that they had made since starting the new account, dotted with the photos she had taken with Seth on their dates together, everything seemed to hurt.

She had half a mind to throw the entire thing into the burning oil can outside. As she felt the tears burning in her eyes, she picked it up and began to drag it outside. Wise and Caesar were still back at Steeltusk, deep in discussion. They didn’t notice Belle’s shaky breaths and trembling legs carrying the board to the fire, until-

“Woah there,” Lighter’s voice reached Belle’s ears and she stopped in her tracks.

“You sure you wanna be throwing that away?” he drawled, his intense gaze peering at her from under his sunglasses.

“None of your business what I want to keep and what I want to throw away,” she mumbled.

“That’s fair.” Lighter raised up both his hands in mock surrender. “But judging by what’s on there, I think it’s his.” He stepped aside to reveal Seth, who had been waiting behind him, mouth slightly agape, dressed in his casual clothes. 

Belle froze, a tear rolling down her cheek. Definitely the last person she expected to see out in Blazewood. He was wearing the same thing when they went on their first official date together as a couple. Was it on purpose?

“I’ll take that,” Lighter stepped in and easily lifted the memory board from Belle’s grip. “You two have a good chat.” He nudged, or rather shoved Seth forward, and then left to put the memory board back into the house.

They both stand in silence for a while, fidgeting uncomfortably. Belle played with the zipper on her jacket, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Seth’s tail swaying from side to side. She tried to peek over to where Wise was standing, trying to think of a lame excuse. Unfortunately, such a thing wouldn’t work on a brother who knew exactly what she was up to. Wise caught her eye and shook his head violently, raising his eyebrows. He mouthed his reply, “Talk it out.” Slightly annoyed, all Belle could do was to continue looking at the grains of sand beneath her feet.

As the silence got too much for both of them to bear, they both spoke at the same time. “I can explain.” “Can we talk?”

Seth cleared his throat as Belle quickly looked down again. “Let me drive you somewhere,” Belle finally said, and gestured towards the minivan. He nodded, and they walked in silence to the car. As they drove down the highways, looking out to the Outer Ring where the Hollow churned in the distance, Seth let out a long sigh.

“I’m… I’m really sorry for my outburst. I should have at least let you explain. I spent these past two days reflecting. Most of the time, when criminals, no, when people do… criminal activities, they tend to have a reason that drives them so strongly to do it. I saw parents kill for their children. Siblings steal for each other. Friends that would throw a riot just to stand up for their buddy. I should have known better than to lump you of all people, and Wise too, together with those truly evil people who genuinely wanted to harm others just for fun.”

As Seth rambled, Belle remained silent. In the past it was usually the other way around, where she was excitedly sharing about her day, or a new movie that came in, Seth was happy to just sit and listen, or to chime in with his own perspective. Even after just a heart-wrenching day where she thought she would never speak to him again, Belle realised just how much she had missed his voice.

“...so I’m really sorry. I’ll listen to your explanation. I know you probably have a really good reason for all this. Will you… forgive me?” Seth asked, looking out of the window.

“I already do,” Belle found the words slipping out of her lips even before she realised it. “Does that also mean you won’t give us up?”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, causing her to look at him in surprise. She had expected him to wrestle with it, maybe even hesitate a little. She didn’t want him to compromise on his own beliefs for her sake. After all, it was what she really liked and admired about him. He noticed, and his tail swung nervously. “I mean… I don’t think I could bear to do it, even after saying all that. And plus, I think whatever your explanation is, is a good enough reason to let you continue your research. I’m sure of it.”

Her mouth twitched, tempted to break out into a silly grin. But she bit down on her lip to not get too ahead of herself yet. Belle knows he picked up on it, as his eyes flickered ever so slightly down to her lips, but he looked at her with those lavender eyes, encouraging her to share.

“Here,” she said, as they arrive on the outskirts of The Chasm, the edge of Hollow Zero. She got out of the car and he followed after her in confusion. As she lightly touched the scarf her, Eous, and Wise had tied on their previous visit, she told him everything. How her and Wise were students at Helios Academy, how their mentor had trained them as proxies, how she was framed as the cause of the Hollow Zero disaster. How their Proxy work was all in a bid to clear her name, so that they could find the justice that she deserved.

How ironic that Belle would be speaking of justice like this. As Seth listened to her story he almost wanted to laugh bitterly or even slap himself for it. He looked at the churning Hollow in the distance, and how Belle’s real home was swallowed within. They had managed to carve out a safe place for themselves on Sixth Street, and because of him they had rushed to leave it all behind.

Seth thought back to the conversation he had with Lighter when he had approached the latter in Lumina Square asking for a ride. He never would have thought he would approach the biker, much less with a favour to ask. But being an officer meant dealing with all sorts of people, and Seth acknowledged internally that he still had a long way to go on judging books by their cover.

Lighter’s eyes had narrowed. “And you want me to bring you to see the Managers at Blazewood?”

“Yes, I know I messed up, and I want to apologize to Belle properly.”

“How do I know you’re not going there just to bring them both back in handcuffs?” Lighter had asked.

“I don’t have any on me, see?” Seth patted his jeans and even opened up his bag to show Lighter, who had rolled his eyes and averted his gaze. “Plus I did a lot of thinking. I don’t think they’re bad people. I don’t think I want to arrest them.”

“Hmph,” Lighter scoffed. “You know they left in the first place because of you?”

Seth wrung his hands. “Yes, and I feel terrible about it. I knew they were happy here. Not that they didn’t like Blazewood, of course.”

“Well then, I hope you have a damn good apology to bring them back,” Lighter had said after a moment’s pause, and tossed him a spare helmet.

“...that’s why I have to be a Proxy. I have to continue to find out the truth.” Belle dug her fingers into the fence, her eyes looking out with determination at the inky blackness of the Hollow. Her determined voice snapped Seth back to reality, and he blinked his eyes, looking at her. 

Slowly, he approached her, then he gently took her hand from the fence and pulled her into a warm, tight embrace. She had tensed up, much like that very first hug back at Lumina Square when she was trying to show him how she felt. And just like that time, she returned his embrace, clinging to him tightly. His warmth, his strength, his smell, she wanted to take it all in.

They held each other like that for a while when Seth finally spoke, his breath tickling her ear. “It must have been hard… everything you’ve been through. I’m… sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know one day I’ll get to the truth with Wise,” she replied, her voice coming out as a muffle against his chest.

Seth gently let her go, looking firmly into her jade eyes that still shone wet with tears. He slowly caressed her cheek. “And until that day comes… will you let me help you and be by your side?”

Her mouth curved into a smile, one that he would like to keep on her face for as long as possible. Where he would never need to brush away any more tears. “Will you do that for me, officer Seth?” she asked teasingly in return.

He huffed, his face getting warm as he briefly broke eye contact. Even now, she was the only one who could truly fluster him. “I will.” She giggled, pulling him in for another embrace, and only now does Seth also allow himself to smile in relief as he held her close.

In most of the cases that Seth had completed where it was hard to say if justice had been served to the victims of the crime, Seth had managed to find an acceptable answer for himself. And now, for this case of his relationship with Belle, he had finally found a reasonable answer to overlook her and her brother’s unlawful Proxy activities.

The answer was love.

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

William Rex Chapter 15

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

It felt like an eternity, but it had only been just a few minutes.

Following the sound of the room door opening, a single footstep slowly approaches.

(It's not William....)

(.......Where did I hear these footsteps?)

My body could move freely now, but I didn't want to hide my crying face.

William is no longer here to entangle my hand and expose my heart.

When I slowly raised my body, I found Victor standing there with a somewhat sad smile on his face.

(I think I've seen this expression before, staring back at me)

----FLASHBACK-----

Victor: "Are you ready to stand by his beautiful solitude....his fate?"

(I thought about it over and over until the door opened)

...........

Kate: "Indeed, it may not be possible right now...to accept your destiny without grieving."

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(If I had been prepared to say. 'I'll accept your destiny' something would have been different....)

(But.......no matter how much I think about it, I don't think I'm ready for that)

To think that William could be killed tomorrow,

I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm in so much pain.

Deeply caring for someone and fearing the loss of that person are two sides of the same coin.

Kate: "Did William leave the castle.....?"

William: "......Yeah. Just now."

(I can't believe you suddenly put an end to it like this and want me to remember you)

(You don't want me to, so don't love me....)

Kate: "William is......selfish......!"

A hoarse voice flowed out from a new wound in my heart.

Victor: "Yes. That's the nature of his curse, that's his predestined nature....and the way his heart chose to live."

Victor: "I want everyone in the Crown to be free, and I don't want to get in the way of William's life either.....sorry."

Victor: "But of course, I won't stand in your way either. You are free to hate him or not as you wish."

Kate: "....William refused me, even to the point of using his abilities on me and depriving me of my freedom, his most prized thing."

Kate: " 'It will make me unhappy'', he says. That's a selfish reason."

Victor: "...........Did he? Did he give you a reason?"

Victor: "..... Well, I'm not going to change the fact that it's self-indulgent even if I explain it to you."

Victor: "That's why you're so terribly angry."

Kate: "Yes. ....That's why."

Kate: "I'm not going to give up on him, hating him as evil as he wants me to...."

Victor: ".........."

Kate: "There is no reason why I should kill my feelings for him just because William doesn't want me."

(If you kill your heart and stand still, you will only have bitter regrets)

(It was my days at the Crown......and William himself that taught me that)

(If William doesn't want me around, he is free to do so)

(But I also don't think I could stand by and watch him get hurt)

(You should be free to seek vindication for William's unforgivable sins)

Kate: "Victor, I know that this is a departure from my duties as a 'fairy tale master' but I have a favor to ask you."

Victor: "......What is that?"

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Kate: "I would like to correct that newspaper article. Could you please give me a moment to speak with the members of the Crown?"

Victor: "............"

Victor's had a momentary, horrifying smile on his face.

Victor: ".....I'm calling everyone in the common room so we can discuss the future."

Victor: "If you wish, I would be happy to have you present."

.........

Liam: "Kate.....!"

When I stepped into the common room, Liam was the first to run up to me.

Liam: "Will told me not to open the room until he left the castle. I was worried but I couldn't go....Sorry."

Kate: "I'm fine, thanks Liam. But you don't have to apologize because its not your fault."

Liam: "....Mm."

Liam: "Haha, Kate is more determined than I am."

Liam: "I guess that's why, he refused when you asked to follow him."

Kate: "Liam..."

Harrison: "......Nothing is going to change no matter how determined you are."

Harrison lightly poked Liam's forehead, whose eyes looked cloudy.

Harrison: "Of course, he left to keep the Crown out of the fire."

Liam: "Yeah that's right. ....Sorry, I became moody again. Forget it!"

Victor: "Well, thank you for your patience, gentlemen. Let's talk about the future."

The voice called out in a light tone and the eyes of the Crown members were drawn to Victor.

(I, must listen carefully too)

Victor: "First of all, we must act with the utmost care to protect William's Crown."

Victor: "We're not allowed to act in any way that would benefit the Privy Council or have any contact with William."

Victor held up his finger as if he were a teacher.

Jude: "Tsk....He's the one who started it."

Jude: "I'm wondering why he didn't notice the presence of the outsider in the first place."

Victor: "William was aware that there was an uninvited guest at the scene of the assassination of the Marquis of Avalus."

(! That reminds me....)

-----FLASHBACK-----

William: "Don't worry, they will be fine."

William: "It's....better for them, if they aren't on the field."

------FLASHBACK ENDS------

(When you said it was better to stay away from the scene of the crime, was it because you were aware.....of the third-party intervention?)

Jude: "If he had known, he should have killed him right then and there."

Victor: "It didn't look 'evil' to him. Besides..."

Victor: "He might have even guessed that the third party was a newspaper reporter while he was there."

Victor: "I'm sure he thought it would be a great help getting the rest of the 'golden butterflies' to publicize his decapitation."

Jude: ".....Haa. As crazy as always."

Jude: "William has known for 13 years how the Privy Council operates and 'Butterfly'."

Victor: "The Privy Council would be happy to have the Marquis of Avalus, their pawn, as the Crown fodder."

Victor: "They will not interfere with what the Marquis is doing, nor would they get their own hands dirty and judge them."

Victor: "Despite the 'butterfly' as a stain on his reputation, he kept silent, preferring to maintain order for the sake of appearance...."

Victor: ".....Just like 13 years ago."

Victor: "If we had overlooked the Marquis that night, he would have created the next victim by now."

Victor: "That's why he had to settle it right there."

Ellis: ".......So you're saying it's best not to do anything now?"

Victor: "I told you what I said before. Any action that might benefit the Privy Council and no contact with William."

(.....This is their policy as the Crown. We have to take it seriously)

I was just listening to Victor's words with my breath held in my throat, when suddenly, his eyes caught mine.

Victor: "If it is feasible, even with the condition of protecting them...Miss Kate, can you give us a suggestion?"

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Kate: "I want...to correct the article and expose who was behind the writing of it."

(I can't believe that William has to bear the guilt of the 'Golden Butterfly' that made him decide to live as evil....)

------Options-------

(It's too unreasonable)

(I'm not convinced)

(I can't allow)

-----------

(I, for one, will not tolerate it)

(Even if William himself accepted it and even wanted it)

Elbert: "................."

Alphonse: "Interesting....pardon me, but is that even possible?"

Kate: "I know the reporter who wrote that article, Mr. Brian. I have a way to contact him."

Kate: "If he was there at the time of assassination....I'm sure he must have also seen me collapse."

Kate: "If I tell him that I need to talk to him about something, I'm sure he will guess that it's about William."

Alphonse: "Fufu. That makes sense."

Kate: "If I can convince him, I may be able to get him to write a correction article!"

Kate: "That would at least shake the grounds for public judgement of William on the part of the Privy Council."

(It should also be more difficult to move the police in a big way)

Harrison: "If you want to ask him about the identity of the mastermind behind all of this, then I don't think you are capable of such a high level of persuasion and interrogation."

Kate: "That is certainly where my concern lies. It is true that William killed the Marquis and that in itself is a juicy sin."

Kate: "I can't even talk about the Crown. I don't know if he will believe that William had nothing to do with the evil of the Butterflies...."

Kate: "Frankly, I'm not sure how much Mr. Brian has seen of William."

Kate: "But....I'm not going to give up before I've even tried."

Harrison: "......."

(If only he knew that William's heart was always inclined to love someone other than himself...)

(I am sure my voice will be heard, I think so., though I may just be imposing my ideal image on Mr. Brian)

------FLASHBACK------

William: "I too, find him attractive because of his strong sense of justice and his strength to take action."

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

William's smile at that moment was the backdrop to my heart.

Kate: "However, I am still under a one-month surveillance period. I know I am not allowed to have secret meetings with newspaper reporters..."

Kate: "But I want to help William...and this is the only way I can think of to help him..."

Kate: "So, I'd like your permission to meet up with Mr. Brian."

Victor: "....Contacting them under you name might indeed be a good way to get in touch."

Victor: "But isn't it a little too risky to go see him in person?"

Jude: "I and Ellis will go in place of this normie."

(Eh....?)

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Roger: "Hey hey, what's with the sudden wind-up?"

Jude: "I don't care if you wanna correct William's article or not, but the revenue from the Crown is an important source of funding. I don't want to see it slip."

Jude: "If you want to shackle him and get that guy to spill out who's behind it, then I'm good at that."

Kate: "Can you at least take me with you? I want to persuade him with as little force as possible....!"

Jude: "Are you an idiot? Why should I give priority to taking time to understand his feelings? It's a waste of time, anyways."

Kate: "That's right but....I want to believe that he will understand if I talk to him. Please."

Jude: ".....How disgusting."

Kate: "If we use force from the beginning and no information comes out, then there is no hope for further dialogue.

Kate: "Wouldn't it be more rational to talk to him first and then use force?"

Jude: "..........Tch."

Jude: "I'll give you 3 minutes to talk. After that, you won't say a word."

Jude: "I don't like an amateur yapping away at me while I'm torturing someone."

(If don't convince him in 3 minutes....he will be tortured)

Kate: "Okay, I understand.....Victor, is it okay?"

Victor: "Hmmm, it's true that it would be less dangerous if Jude and Ellis are with you..."

Victor: "If things get rough, Jude can make an excuse by telling that he's there for his usual collection."

Jude: "Why would you think that I'd use something as boring as that as an excuse?"

Victor: "Okay. You do whatever you feel like is convenient."

Kate: "Thank you very much!"

Ellis: "Are you going to take me with you? That's unusual."

Jude: "I don't like having long conversations with people that have such thick skulls."

After being brushed off by Mr. Jude, Ellis whispered to me.

Ellis: "If push comes to shove, I'll tie up Jude. So don't worry, okay?"

Kate: ".....Are you sure?"

Jude: "I'll beat you down before that."

I wrote a letter to Mr. Brian in haste that day and it was secretly delivered by Victor.

In a few days, he replied back.

'Tomorrow, I'll be at your post office, in the evening. Let's meet there."

..................

The day finally came to meet him. The air was thick and was a perfect atmosphere for a secret meeting.

Kate: ".......Okay, I'll go first."

In the back alley of the post office, I managed to soothe my raging heartbeat that was about to burst from nervousness, and looked at the two men in front of me.

Ellis: "Be careful. If anything happens, call for us."

Jude: "............"

Mr. Jude doesn't reply, but was checking his pocket watch.

(I only have 3 minutes...)

(Let's not waste any more time)

...........

Stepping into the quiet post office, I saw a red-haired man standing in the shadows of the blue night.

Kate: "Mr. Brian....?"

Brian: "Oh, it's you!"

When I called out to him, Mr. Brian came rushing toward me with a pale and worried expression.

Brian: "I've been wondering if you were all right....you asked me to meet you here, so I'm assuming you want to talk to me about Sir Rex?"

Kate: "I'll get to the point right away. I am here today to persuade you."

Brian: "Persuade? What are you---?"

Kate: "I want you to correct the article about William being involved in human and drug trafficking."

 ｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Mr. Brian stared at me as if he was looking at something shocking.

Brian: "I.....I don't understand. Why are asking me something like that?"

Mr. Brian grabs both of my hands as if he had just noticed something.

Brian: "Is he threatening you? You saw with your own eyes the barbaric acts he has done to the Marquis of Avalus."

Brian: "You also fell unconscious after that! If he's forcing you then...!"

Kate: "Please listen, I'm begging you."

Kate: "The crime I just asked you to retrace was actually committed by the Marquis of Avalus himself."

Kate: "William was there, trying to stop him-----"

Brian: "Sir Rex is a monster! He used his strange powers to manipulate people and kill them atrociously, even if they are one of his own!"

Kate: "....He's not a monster! He's a human! And he is not associated with the Marquis of Avalus."

(Stay calm....stay calm...!)

Kate: "He was always on the side of those who wanted freedom,, right?"

Kate: "You also said that he is a person who likes to push people and give generous support."

Kate: "Do you really think someone like that would get involved in human and drug trafficking that take away people's dignity.....?"

Brian: "That's...That's all an act of self-preservation to discredit us and deceive the public."

(Self-preservation...?)

For William, that word doesn't suit him at all.

Kate: "Is the person who made you write that article....so trustworthy that you would be forced to accept such words?"

My heart aches violently in my chest, whether from sadness or frustration.

Kate: "Who in the world led you to the house of the Marquis?"

Brian: "That....I can't tell you that."

Brian: "But why are you so devoted to William Rex? Who put you up for this?"

Kate: ".......Nn."

(I can't talk about the Crown)

(I don't know. We're running parallel)

In my impatience, I heard sadistic laughter from the darkness behind me.

Jude: "Hah, I knew this would happen anyways."

Brian: "Who are you guys...!"

Jude: "Why do you care? ....Ellis, do your job."

A black shadow moved as if swimming in the small room, and Ellis's large palm touched Mr. Brian's head.

Brian: "Nn!?"

Immediately, Mr. Brian's wrists were bound together, as if by some kind of fetters and he was unable to move them.

(Is that Ellis's ability....!?)

William: "W-What is this...Oof!?"

Mr. Jude kicked Mr. Brian towards the floor as hard as he could.

Unable to passively roll over, Mr. Brian groaned in pain.

Jude: "Now start talking. Who told you to do that?"

Kate: "Mr. Jude, wai---"

Jude: "Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut after your time's up?!"

Kate: "Mm...!"

The voice that was directed at me made my body jerk.

As if pleased with my reaction, Mr. Jude laughs.

Jude: "....Don't forget the promise you made to me."

Kate: "I'll pay the price of breaking my promise with you. Please...!"

Brian: "You're guys, comrades of Sir Rex, as well....!?"

Jude: "Comrades? What a disgusting word."

I jumped in front of Mr. Jude, who was about to stomp on Mr. Brian's face and seize him.

Kate: "Mr. Brian....I know you are not the kind of person who writes lies and put people down."

Kate: "It's true that William killed someone that night, but...."

Kate: "I can't just turn a blind eye to that article, just like that....."

Brian: "Are you out of your mind? You know he's a murderer, and you want me to retract the article.....!"

Mr. Brian then gave one sharp whistle.

The door to the director's office opened and men who looked like policemen appeared without a sound.

Policeman: "Miss Kate...right? You seem to be very close with Sir Rex."

Policeman: "Tell us what you know about him. We will protect you.. We are not going to do anything bad, just come with us."

Chapter 16

[paralyze-fic]

Paralyze.

Chapter 32

The second day without Katsuki went by just like the first one; quiet and boring. And even though it was weird, I could tell the rest of the class was glad about it.

I had to hold the urge to fall asleep during class, just because a cute puppy wouldn't let me alone last night.

We kissed so much... My lips kind of hurt now, but it was so worth it. Ugh, I love him!

"(L/n), what's the right option for this question?" I blinked as Present Mic pointed to the board. An English phrase with a word missing. Three options.

1- Wasn't. 2- Haven't. 3- Didn't.

"Um...haven't...?" The questioning tone of my voice was really unnoticeable, and he nodded at my response, marking it as the correct answer.

Phew, that was close. Should pay attention from now on.

///////

The third day passed by and the fourth day came. Izuku was joining us again, and Katsuki would be here tomorrow.

The first thing I saw when I entered the classroom was Izuku making weird faces and exclaiming something about 'working hard'. He looked so eager for the class to begin that it made me chuckle.

Until I saw Aizawa sneak up behind him. "Sit down." Immediately we all rushed to our seats, the only noise in the room was the chairs moving. "Good morning. Now that Midoriya is back, we'll go into detail about your internship. Come in," the door opened, revealing two guys and a girl, "We'll let the ones who have experienced it," as Aizawa kept talking, they walked in, one after the other, "Tell you what how different these practices are. Pay attention."

My eyes looked at each one, staring them up and down. The navy-haired guy was kind of cute, and his pointy ears seemed to call for me to touch them.

"The third years on the top of the students of U.A. also known as the Big Three." I heard some of my classmates saying something about them, like how they were the closest to being pro-heroes than we were. "But, can you introduce yourselves? Let's start with Amajiki."

The navy-haired one, now named Amajiki senpai, stared at us with an intense glare, making us all tense. Even me. He's scary...

"It's useless. Mirio, Hado-san... even if I look at them imagining they are potatoes, everything except their head is human. I can just see humans. What do I do? I can't say anything, my mind is blank. I can't... I wanna go home." He turned around and pressed his forehead on the wall.

Never mind, he's a cinnamon roll.

At that, the light-blue-haired girl talked instead. "This flea is Amajiki Tamaki. I'm Hado Nejire. We were asked to talk about your internship. Wait a moment..." His voice trailed on a bit, and she started asking random questions to pretty much everyone in the class.

"Hey, is it true that you are invincible?" She asked me but turned to ask another thing to somebody else before I could her.

Aizawa's hair started to float and his eyes glowed red as he activated his quirk. "Isn't she irrational?" The blond guy made some movements with his hand, making me think of Iida. Or Izuku when he's nervous.

"Don't worry, Eraser Head. I'm at the end to end, right?" He placed his hand on his ear, "The future would be...?" He waited for our response, but all he got was silence, "You had to say 'dark', okay, my call was a failure!" He laughed out loud and I sweatdropped.

I'm pretty sure everybody did too. These third-years are kinda weird, aren't they?

"Well, it seems like you don't know what's happening. They suddenly bring some third years to explain an internship even if is not necessary. It's confusing, isn't it? You got your license in your first year, right? The ones this year are very lively, eh? And it seems like my jokes won't work." He stopped and I noticed Amajiki senpai slightly turn to look at him.

"Mirio?"

"Why don't you all fight against me? It's the most rational thing. To experience it first hand, right? What do you say, Eraser Head?" Mirio senpai looked to our homeroom teacher, waiting for an answer.

"Do as you want."

///////

So after that, we all headed to the changing room. And I stayed at the back, with Izuku and Todoroki.

"Now that I think about it, he looks familiar," I mutter and both turn to look at me.

"Who? The blond?" I nodded at Todoroki's question.

"Well, the three of them actually," I explain further, even if I do think the blond, Mirio senpai, seemed more familiar to me than the other two.

"I saw them at the Sports Festival last year, you watched it too, (M/n)?" Somehow that answered part of my question, but that wasn't completely it yet.

"Maybe that's it, (L/n)," I turned to look at Todoroki and smiled.

"You may be right," I stared ahead, "And you can call me (M/n), Todoroki-kun, it's weird when somebody calls me by my last name." He hummed.

"Then you can call me Shouto, (M/n)."

"I will, Shouto." I was pretty sure somebody was going to get mad when he got to hear me saying Todoroki's first name, but I won't worry about it for now, mostly because we reached the changing room.

The girls went into their own room and the guys entered one after the other, heading to our lockers and taking off our uniforms.

I left my undershirt on and put on the sports jacket on top, unzipped, and then changed my pants. I wasn't really aware of the guys staring at me -thank God- because I was busy thinking how fighting with Mirio senpai would be.

Could we even land a punch on him? After all, he's the top first of all the students in U.A.

But I'm sure we'll be able to manage... somehow.

We finished changing and walked out, Aizawa was waiting for us outside the doors, and we left when the 19 of us were present, with him walking ahead.

"We'll be going to the Gym Gamma, let's go."

We all exclaimed a 'Yes, sir' and followed behind him, some of us talked with each other, and others were lost in thought, like me.

Togata-senpai does seem familiar... but why though? It has to be something else apart from the Sports Festival from last year, otherwise, I don't know why he would look familiar.

But before I could keep thinking and wondering about it, the doors to the gym were in our sight.

[which-hospital]

And Another One - Casualty Hiatus Thoughts - 2/?

I'm still ill but I went into uni anyway like the brave little soldier that I am! (Every night, I decide that all the work that I need to do can be done “tomorrow” but we’re rapidly running out of those until the deadlines. I have lost my train pass and student ID. All I’ve listened to all day is the demo version of Geyser by Mitski. Vague sense of doom.) I got myself some Tesco Finest cookies on the way home. I’m just complaining here. 

I'm back for more already, seems like I've opened the floodgates but this one won't be as lengthy as the other one was. Genuinely sorry I can’t shut up. I thought I was done for a while but I put an episode from series 36 on in the background thinking that I'd be able to do stuff while it played but got distracted by my opinions.

Potentially all over the place again, though this one does manage to be mostly about the series 36 mother-hell storylines. So there's a theme. Warning - I started going off about Dark Room which has a lot of transphobia in it and that’s part of what I talked about.

I really don’t know how I feel about the resolutions of Sah and Teddy’s storylines with their mums. Okay, we already know I'm about to be going on about Sah and Teddy's mother problems storylines but I'm sure there are other characters who this is/isn't applicable to - feel free to let me know about it. As a recap: it’s kind of hard for me to figure out how to describe exactly what happens at the end of Friends Like These, but if anyone has ever seen that quote that’s like “I tried to ask my parents to leave the room, but not my life”, Teddy asks Gaynor to leave the room and she leaves his life. A couple months later a patient situation causes Teddy to call his mum (and that is not brought up again when he gets trapped in a mine in the next episode) and also we are left to assume that all is fine now. Pretty simplistically, in Enough, Sah and Jools talk it out after Kevin has another stroke and then they are also just portrayed as being okay forever by the end of that episode. 

I can absolutely believe that these characters, sad and work-stressed and not always the most emotionally mature, would forgive their mothers. I don’t even disagree with it happening on a story level because I think it could make for a really good development in those stories, or even just a less-than-happy ending. What I don’t enjoy is how these endings are presented as being happily-ever-afters and that everything is supposed to be fine now because they’ve forgiven/reconciled with their mothers who haven’t really done anything to deserve it. Jools is objectively neglectful, and telling Sah they were always enough does not make up for that. I think Gaynor’s behaviour is emotionally abusive; she’s controlling his life, emotionally manipulating him, she’s trying to even limit his contact with people other than her (and she has been doing this, he “wasn’t allowed friends”). Unless I'm wrong, we don’t see or hear from Gaynor at all between Friends Like These and We Need To Talk About Ollie. I don’t doubt they love their kids but that doesn’t make them good parents, and it’s not on their kids to be doing the work to improve the relationships. If we’re getting these forgiveness endings then Jools and Gaynor need to put more effort into proving they’ve changed. Or (and I'd probably find this more interesting cause I'm mean). Forgiveness needs to be presented as something that isn’t this simple happy ending because it doesn't feel like that in these circumstances. I respect the potential misery of the undeserved forgiveness, I love misery for them, especially when they’re both in mother-hell together, I am mean. But if you want to give them a happily-ever-after, keep them away from their mothers or make their mothers do the work. 

They make Sah be the bigger person way too much, actually. In Dark Room, why does Sah have to be nice to Scott when Scott deserves to get re-beaten to a pulp? I don’t care that his mum is also terrible. Not only did he bully them when they were teenagers, he tried to ruin their whole life as a fully grown adult. Their mum is terrible as well and you don’t see them acting like that. They don’t need to be the bigger person and try to help Scott and his also terrible mother, they need a weapon of mass destruction. Also, why is Sah’s deadname used so excessively in series 36? Or at all? Ever? I’m sure there were ways around the audience ever needing to actually know what it was, even if they felt like the story required the implication of characters using it. Another potential Casualty hot take, maybe? I don't think Sah's dad is all that great of a parent either. Obviously it is entirely Jools' fault that Sah has to be his carer at such a young age, he had no control over that and Jools is definitely the worse parent, but getting back with Jools without telling Sah, cancelling plans with Sah to go on dates with Jools, excusing Jools’ pretty transphobic remarks and acting like Sah has to forgive Jools because he has really isn’t great. They were right when they said “it’s not just you she left”. IT’S! NOT! JUST! KEVIN! SHE! LEFT! It annoys me that Casualty is like ‘this action will have consequences’ about that scene because Sah is right. The only person I truly like from Sah’s pre-joining-Casualty life is Bill Phillipsen (and his dead wife) and he died. I knew you very briefly/not at all but I miss you Bill and Jean <\3

This post is absolutely the post for me to start getting into the connections between the mother-hell storylines but I won’t in full. They are kind of this pair of opposites, not just on this wider level of overinvolved mother vs uninvolved mother, there are a lot of patterns I’ve noticed in the episodes and the dialogue. I’d find them all now but it's 2am and I need to be awake at 8am at the latest so I’m putting off compiling that list for another day. Some faves that I can remember off the top of my head: opposite Jan advice scenes, Gaynor really struggling to say she’s proud of Teddy even though he really wants her to while one of the first things Jools tries to say to Sah is that she’s proud of them and they tell her not to, “you won’t see me back if I go” vs “I’m back now if it’s not too late”. I really like these connections, that's why I'm so passionate about what I don't agree with in these storylines.

I didn't mention this in my last post but I got my hands on a bootleg of The Play That Goes Wrong with Milo Clarke as Max and it's very enjoyable. I've been meaning to watch TPTGW at least since I watched both series of the show, probably longer, and I succumbed to the Casualty brainrot and and had to see his version. All I'll say: He really knows how to play aunt based nepotism and situations that could be solved with polyamory.

Based on when one of the episodes is set to air, I don’t think we’ll see Casualty back until about December 30th, unless we are gonna have another break between episodes once it comes back. I don’t really care that much and also, Christmas/New Years episode? The most recent Christmas episode was that one where they were like “what if it was last year?” back in 2021 and that’s always been a weird choice to me. I just want a silly little festive one, normal Casualty episode featuring carol singing and tinsel and the implication of a really intense staff party (we will never get the Sah/Teddy Christmas party of my dreams, not this year cause they’re in the current situation, not last year cause no Christmas episode and also the stuff with Jan was happening then, not the year before…). The only thing that bothers me about the hiatus is the inevitable time skip, so much time will have elapsed in universe by the time it comes back so I feel like we will have missed a lot of the immediate aftermath of stuff that happened at the end of Driving Force.

[lightsonparkave]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIGHTS ON PARK AVE! WE’RE OFFICIALLY FOUR YEARS OLD TODAY. Join the celebrations by submitting a work! There’s a little less than a week and a half left until Round 48 closes on August 31, and you have 143 prompts to choose from. There are no minimum work requirements or limit to how many works you can submit.

Not sure you can finish your work in time? Little messages are great presents too. What has the past year of Lights on Park Ave been like for you? Do you have a favorite prompt or round? A favorite LoPA work? Want to make a rec list of your favorites or wax poetic and show some love for a specific work and/or creator? Go for it. Let the Steve/Tony community know! The LoPA askbox is open or if you want to make your own Tumblr post or tweet, you can mention @lightsonparkave​ or tag #lightsonparkave. Whatever method you choose, I’ll make sure to share your message/post on here and Twitter.

Or maybe you’re not up to making anything this time. In that case, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Here are all 15 Lights on Park Ave works for previous rounds this past year.

EDIT

.616

"Now and Forever" - MissionCritical

MCU

Steve finding Tony after losing everything, losing Tony, and then finding his way back to Tony, where he belongs - Steviecpt (on Tumblr)​

Ultimates

“Make Such Fools of Ourselves” - @ralsbecket (see a sneak peek on Tumblr) The one where Tony reminisces on the journey he took with Steve, from professional colleagues to intimate lovers.

FIC

.616

“Puppet Master” - @nostalgicatsea Time flies when you're having fun or so the saying goes, but Tony can't say that he's enjoying himself if he can't remember any of it, even if the way that Steve looks at him now is everything he's dreamed of for years.

616/MCU

“forfeit your fate and watch it pay” - XtaticPearl/@suitofhumour The Civil War seems to be building even though it isn't a war yet but he's starting to believe that Steve won't back down if it came down to it. It's been a long week of longer days and Tony just wants to ignore all the red alerts for one day. Tomorrow he could go back to fighting his friends again. Fittingly, he gets a multiverse hopping Steve dropping into his home in the middle of the night.

AU

Electric Touch - @iam93percentstardust All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life And I want you now, wanna need you forever In the heat of your electric touch ~ But with Tony… He looks at him, and he wonders if Tony can bring him back to life. Every lingering touch, every smoldering glance, every knowing smirk makes Steve feel like he’s been lit up inside and they’ve haven’t even kissed. And he’s still scared, but he’s hoping—he’s hoping—that this story has a happy ending.

“Severed Ties” - @ayapandagirl/fluffypanda Severance AU, Cap says goodbye to Iron Man

"Severed Ties" continuation - @ayapandagirl/fluffypanda Severance AU, Cap and Iron Man don’t kiss

“start all over again” - @areiton He’s always wanted to see, what the warm water shoals were like.

“the closest to heaven that i'll ever be” - @tinystark616 Steve is an angel whose job is to take care of the people in New York and take their souls to Heaven when they die. After Maria Stark dies and begs him to please take care of her son, Steve decides it couldn't hurt to keep an eye on Tony. What Steve's not expecting is how easy and inevitable it is to fall in love with him.

MCU

An excerpt from a 1970 Steve/Tony Endgame @marveltrumpshate fic - @nostalgicatsea Most of his life, he had been busy looking over his shoulder or at the horizon. 

“give your heart to no one” - @areiton (also on Tumblr) He wakes up and finds out he’s lost everything.

“Hit and Run” - @nostalgicatsea Here they both were, Steve careening forward, the brakes useless and broken, Tony in the middle of the road. A collision years in the making.

“The End” - @tinystark616 It all started when Steve Rogers fell in love with Tony Stark.

“Together” - @tinystark616 Carol has rescued Tony from space, and now he has to confront his feelings for Steve while processing the trauma of losing the fight to Thanos. Tony realizes that the Steve that came back to him isn't the same Steve he used to know, but that he has changed as well..

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.96 - Baler's First Christmas

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

Baler experiences his very first Christmas and is given the most exciting gift of all.

"Stop fumbling with it, Soap." Simon warned from the driver's seat, watching him continue to look at the ring he was finally able to get with Simon's help, almost as if he couldn't believe he got to take it with him after eyeing it in its case when he went to make payments on it. The box opened and closed repeatedly throughout their drive home. 

"What? Can't help it." 

"You've been practicing how you're going to open the box when you ask her, Johnny," Simon arched his brow. "It's not rocket science. You get down on one knee, open the box, and ask the question." 

"Don't listen to him, Johnny. He was shaking like a leaf when he proposed to me." Kiera giggled from the passenger seat, ignoring Simon's glare as she smiled at Soap from over her shoulder. 

"No I wasn't." 

"Mhm, I saw your hands shaking when you put the ring on my finger." 

He huffed at her response, knowing she was right, but he didn't want Soap to know that as he pulled onto the gravel of the ranch's long driveway. "You two banter like a married couple." Price scoffed, he too loving to push Simon's buttons. 

"I thought the same thing!" Kiera giggled. "Even my own mom said that after I gave birth to Jacob and Evie!" 

"Looks like I'm not the only one..." Soap commented, keeping his gaze on the ring after opening the box yet again to look at it. 

"Johnny, we're here. I suggest you hide that ring before you blow your cover." 

"She's still out with the herd, L.T.," Soap waved his hand. "I won't blow my cover." 

"Well, you need to hide it somewhere while we take that furniture from Kiera's mum's guest room-" 

"Why? What? Since when are we moving furniture?" 

"Since now. We're making the kid a bedroom of his own for Christmas and her mum said we could have the furniture that's in their guest room instead of buying it." Simon replied, parking the truck in the driveway of the house he and Kiera shared to help carry in the many bags of gifts and groceries. 

"Wow, you definitely have heart in that body of yours, L.T." Soap chuckled. 

"Wasn't my idea." He grumbled, exiting the truck to walk around to the passenger side to open the door for her. 

"It was his idea." Kiera whispered over her shoulder, giggling as she took his hand to help her out of the truck, Soap and Price laughing at the glare Simon gave them through the back window of the truck as he and Kiera began gathering bags to take inside. 

"Remind me to traumatize him with that bloody elf like we did last year." Simon commented, following Kiera into the house and setting the bags on the kitchen island while she proceeded to open Kimber's crate. 

"Oh, I'm sure you won't forget since you look forward to it every year," She giggled, leaning down to pet Kimber between her ears. "I'm going to start cleaning that room. What're you bringing over first?" 

"Probably the bed and frame, love." He replied, always resisting the urge to turn her to face him so that he could kiss her for just a second longer after he had gone a long time without her lips on his. 

She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck as she inhaled his cologne, twining her fingers through his hair and embracing the scratch from his stubble against her top lip. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Simon." She smiled against his lips. 

"Need any help with this stuff?" He nodded his head towards the grocery bags. 

"I've got it handled from here, babe. I'm going to wrap his presents in our bedroom after I get done putting the groceries away." 

"Okay. We'll hustle to get that furniture over here. I don't expect them to be back for another couple of hours. I'm sure you want it to be a surprise for him." 

"You know how I am with keeping surprises." 

"Well, it's a good thing Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Just contain your excitement until Christmas Day, yeah?" 

"I'll do my best." 

He smirked, pressing another kiss to her lips before he made his way back to the truck and driving to her parent's lodge, knowing he'd have to use the truck to tote the furniture back and forth. 

After she put the groceries away, she began taking Baler's gifts to their bedroom to wrap, sitting on the floor as she folded the new clothes into the gift box, wrapping it in Christmas-themed paper as well as taking the advantage of wrapping Simon's gifts while he was occupied. She knew he didn't know how to react to gifts, but she hoped he liked what she got him this year. 

A new tactical knife, a few new shirts for him to wear under his uniform, and a large framed collection - more like a shadow box - of the group photos - including the mission of Operation Kingfish - he had been present for after their hardest missions as well as a wonderful display of his awards, a copy of his dog tags, and his favorite hard shell skull balaclava. It was a large display, but it was honorable for her to make and she knew he would love it as the photos that were in it were the group photos of him and the Task Force, also the most recent one being the group photo of the Task Force with Alejandro and Rudy, Kiera being able to see herself present in the photo in the back of the photo coincidentally next to Simon. She wrapped the shadow box with two layers of tissue paper after the first layer of bubble wrap before setting it in the cardboard box and wrapping it in a special themed paper, the couple doing it to ensure that each gift was wrapped with certain paper to avoid confusion. 

She smiled after writing the tag: 

To: Simon

From: Kiera (I love you!)

She shuddered when she heard the door open, hearing three male voices follow the sound of the open door as they heaved heavy breaths. "For fuck's sake, Soap, lift it!" Simon poked. 

"I am! I'm sorry I don't overdose on pre-workout and lift five-hundred pounds in the gym!" He sneered back. 

"Fucking hell, I can bench at least four!" He corrected. 

"Bloody shite, boys. Can we get this in that bedroom before so I can light a cigar?" Price scoffed at their playful bickering. 

Kiera giggled as she leaned against the bedroom doorway, watching them work together to tote in the bed frame for Baler's room. "I guess I forgot to mention that it's a log bed frame..." 

"We figured it out," Soap replied. "Pivot, Simon! Pivot!" 

He grumbled, moving the bed into the room before easing it down to sit as it should on the floor. Wiping a bead of sweat from his brow, he rested his hands on his hips before exhaling deeply, "I'd rather go back to Mexico than do that again." 

"Surprised it wasn't the oil rig." She arched her brow. 

"No. I got wet and cold after that." 

"Yeah," Soap scoffed. "And after that we got stuck in that small town having to improvise. Remember that, Kiera?" He asked blindly. 

"No, I was too busy being interrogated and beaten within an inch of my life," She shook her head. "But I'm sure it was fun." 

Soap immediately regretted what he had asked, hoping he didn't offend her in any way. He looked at her with a sorry gleam in his eye, relieved when he saw a playful smile plastered across her face. 

"What else do we have to bring over?" Price asked, changing the subject. 

"Just the mattress, two side tables, and the dresser. We can fit it all on the bed of the truck." 

"Thank God. Hopefully they're lighter than this thing." Soap added. 

"I'll start dinner," Kiera said. "You boys look like you could use something to eat." 

"Best news I've heard all day." 

Christmas Eve, 2023

Kiera was genuinely pleased with the pout on Simon's face when he found out they all had matching pajamas for the holiday, but he felt less embarrassed when Baler had a matching set too. 

The couple each toted an infant against their chests, entering the lodge that smelled of a simple, yet big enough dinner to feed them and Simon's Task Force for a traditional Christmas Eve dinner. "You all look so cute!" Eva smiled, "You know I'll have to get a picture!" 

"Okay," Kiera smiled. "I have some things I want to make that I saw on Pinterest." 

"Christ." Simon mumbled, sounding like he dread anything that had to do with arts and crafts, but if he were being honest, anything that involved Kiera and their children made his heart flutter. 

"What is it, sweetheart?" Eva smiled. 

"I'll tell you about it at dinner," She giggled. "We have a long night ahead of us."

"That we do! After dinner, I'd like to make cookies with Baler. He already told me what movie he wanted to watch tonight." 

"He'd like that." 

*

Later that same evening after dinner and when Price, Alice, Soap, Teeter, Gaz, Alejandro, and Rudy went off to their designated rooms in the guest house after much-needed laughs and a competitive game of friendly poker. It was the first time in a long while Kiera had seen Simon laugh that much. 

She lay on the couch with her head in Simon's lap, enjoying the lazy circles he was drawing in her hair as she had her arm around Evie's sleeping form nestled against her while Jacob was snug against Simon's opposite leg, his thumb gently rubbing along the bridge of his little nose, unaware that Jacob thoroughly enjoyed the sensation as it put him to sleep the quickest. 

"Falling asleep on me, yeah?" Simon whispered down to her, moving a piece of hair from her face and glancing over to see Baler tossing pieces of popcorn into his mouth while atop a makeshift area on the floor by using multiple toss pillows and a fleece blanket while Eva had fallen asleep herself on the other couch, her mouth barely agape. 

"No." She mumbled, looking against her chest to check on Evie, satisfied that she was still sleeping. 

"Don't lie, love." He chuckled, moving his hand back to her hair to continue running his fingers through it. 

She nodded instead of replying, letting her eyes close while she felt content with her head on his lap. "I don't blame you, this movie is about to put me to sleep too." 

"Well, it's a good thing we're staying the night." 

"Too bad you couldn't leave the dog at home," He chuckled. "Now I have to worry about that little lass curling up at my feet." 

"I don't blame her. You're warm to cuddle up against." 

He sighed heavily through his nose, "Well, it's time for bed anyway. Especially if Baler here is expecting a visit from Santa." 

Baler glanced over his shoulder and scoffed, "Santa? How old do you think I am? Six?" 

"Who else is going to give you presents?" Simon arched a brow. "Because it certainly wasn't me." His face was stern, hoping Baler believed the folk tale as he truly wanted to make Baler's first Christmas special for him, wanting him to experience the excitement every kid deserved to have. 

"Kiera?" Baler questioned, hearing her hum in response. "Is he serious?" 

"What? You don't believe in Santa Claus?" 

"...No?" 

"Well, he might forgive you and still bring you a present anyway," She assured him, watching his face light up with excitement. "Let's go to bed. We'll see how it goes in the morning." 

On Christmas Day, Kiera awoke to the feeling of a hand grasping her bicep. She couldn't help pull her arm away at the sudden sensation. "Miss Kiera?" Baler whispered. "I-I'm sorry to wake you up." 

She rubbed her eyes, slowly sitting up in the bed before Simon awoke next to her, sighing as he was upset he was awakened out of a deep and peaceful sleep for once. "No, no, it's okay honey. What is it?" She waved her hand before laying back down. 

"Um... I went downstairs to get something to drink and I saw a bunch of presents at the tree." He answered nervously. 

Kiera couldn't help but smile, glancing over at Simon to see him mirroring her expression, hiding his excitement for Baler's first Christmas by bending his elbow over his eyes, shielding him from the morning sun. "Oh... Are you saying that Santa may have come?" She arched her brow. 

"I-I think so?" 

"Well, who else would it have been?" 

"...I don't know." 

She breathed a laugh, "Give me a few minutes to rub this sleep out of my eyes and get the babies fed." 

"O-Okay. What should I do?" 

"Whatever you want, just don't open your gifts without us. I need to get in the habit of taking pictures every holiday when our two get older." She giggled. 

Baler breathed a laugh, "Of course you do." 

Simon waited until Baler completely exited the room before he turned to his side and spooned Kiera close to him, craning his nose into her neck. "You're excited for today, aren't you?" He whispered. 

She nodded, "I'm too excited. I hope we made the right decision." 

"I'm sure we did," He assured her, pressing a kiss behind her ear. "I love you." 

"I love you too," She smiled, turning around to face him and rewarding him with a kiss. "Merry Christmas, baby." 

He hummed against her lips, "Merry Christmas." 

After Kiera had fed Jacob and Evie as well as refreshed herself, Simon did the same before helping her with whatever she needed before they met her parents in the living room, taking a seat on the couch as Baler stood nervously close to the tree, eager to see what "Santa" had brought him for Christmas. 

Eva entered the living room with a pep in her step, bringing Kiera and Simon a glass of eggnog to sip on while Baler opened his gifts. "What're you waiting for, sweetheart?" Eva giggled. "Those gifts are for you! I have a few under that tree - one more than what Santa brought you." She winked. 

"Um... I-I don't know where to start?" Baler shrugged. "I've never had a Christmas before..." 

His answer brought an instant tear to both Eva and Kiera's eyes, the mother and daughter sharing a glance at each other with a frown to complement. 

"You can pick whichever one you want to open, honey." Kiera assured him with a nod, watching him gulp nervously as he sat with his legs crossed on the floor. 

He nodded, reaching toward the first gift in his line of sight, slowly ripping the paper to reveal a cardboard box. He curled his fingers along the top, ripping it open to reveal a remote controlled drone - something he had always wanted as he had always been curious about seeing structures from the air. "I-I don't know what to do with this..." He sighed, seeing that it required an Apple device to operate the remote control in order for video to sync its data.

"It's okay, Simon knows how to use those." Kiera smiled. 

He smiled, keeping the box of the drone close to him as he briefly thought the drone was his only gift. "You've got more gifts, sweetheart." Eva encouraged, watching him reach for the next wrapped box. Seeing that it was smaller, he wondered what it could be as he slowly opened the box, seeing that it was an iPhone 12 with the red back, knowing it was one of Baler's favorite colors. "Holy sh- I mean...wow," Baler gasped to himself. "Miss Kiera... I don't deserve this. I was saving my money for one-"

"Guess you'll have to take your complaints to the big man in red." Simon commented, stretching his arm along the back of the couch and touching his fingertips against Kiera's shoulder. 

Baler chuckled at Simon's remark, rubbing the pad of his thumb along the box of the iPhone before reaching for another gift, smiling at the tag that was stuck to the gift wrap:

To: Baler

From: Simon and Kiera (mostly Simon) :)

He smiled as he opened the box, seeing a camouflage set of hunting clothes he had also been saving for as he recalled Simon promising to take him hunting at one point, smiling once he saw a small box at the bottom containing a rather nice pocketknife - a pocketknife so nice in fact that Simon bought one for himself. "T-Thank you, sir." 

"You're welcome, lad." 

Kiera smiled when he reached for the gift box she had wrapped for him, the teen smiling at the Merry Christmas handwriting on the tag, knowing it was from Kiera and Simon themselves. He smiled when he revealed the new clothes from inside the box, growing eager to try them on as they were clothes he could wear to either a casual or a formal occasion. "Thank you, really." He said, holding back his tears of gratitude. 

"Before you open the rest of your gifts, you have something else at the bottom of the box." She smiled excitedly, Simon knowing she was eager to see his reaction when he pulled her closer to him, rubbing her shoulder with the pad of his thumb. 

Baler nodded, looking at the bottom of the box to see what looked like an envelope. He furrowed his brows as he opened the envelope, seeing a customized Christmas card with a photo of Baler, Kiera, Simon, Evie and Jacob all posed in front of the Christmas tree in their matching pajamas - the same photo they had all taken the night before. He paused to look at the photo, We all look like a happy little family. I wish I had that, he frowned to himself before noticing the cursive handwriting below the photo:

𝒲𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒶 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝑜 𝒻𝒶𝓇! 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓉𝑜 𝒮𝒾𝓂𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼. 𝒢𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝓊𝑔𝑔𝓁𝑒𝓈, 𝓌𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓌𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓊𝓈. 𝒲𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒶𝓁𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓎. 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶 𝑅𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓎?

He couldn't hold back anymore at the compassionate words. He bowed his head and shed his tears into his hands. Kiera and Eva began shedding tears of their own, Kiera shifting her weight to meet him for an embrace when he got up before her, rushing to Kiera and Simon on the couch and embracing them both at once. He knew Simon wasn't keen on physical touch, but he tolerated it because he knew he was helping make a change in the young man's life. Kiera's arms wrapped around Baler's torso, cupping the crown of his head with her left hand as her right rubbed against his back. "I'm sorry we made you cry, sweetheart-"

"N-No, I needed to," He shook his head, his tears absorbing into her hair. "It means the world to me that someone wants me." 

She couldn't hold back a sob, pulling him closer into her, "We've wanted you since day one, sweetheart." 

Baler was at a loss for words as he pulled back to look at her, smiling back at her as she reached up to cup his face and wipe the tears from his eyes. "Well, I guess now is the perfect time to give you guys the gift I got for you." 

"You didn't have to get us anything." Simon assured him. 

"I wanted to." He smiled. 

"How did you even sneak gifts over here?" Kiera giggled. 

"I've learned a few things from Simon when it comes to sneaking gifts... Except I can keep it a secret longer than he can." 

"Don't go giving all of my secrets away." Simon glared. 

Baler breathed a laugh, moving to the tree to bring two small boxes to them, reaching the gifts towards them with a rather, interesting, technique of wrapping paper. 

Kiera laughed at her gift - a mug with the following phrase:

"I figured... since you don't want to hear me cuss around you... I didn't think it would be so bad if it was where you could read it." He breathed a laugh. 

"I love it," She smiled. "Thank you." 

Simon couldn't help but chuckle at the gift, knowing gag gifts were always entertaining to receive, which made him wonder what his gift was when he began ripping the paper from the medium-sized box, seeing what looked like a shirt that was poorly folded, knowing that Baler spent a lot of time to make it as presentable as he could. He held the shirt up to view it, breathing a chuckle knowing that Baler was referring to the oblivious mis confusion from when he had asked Simon about his rank when he and Kiera were playfully bickering about his role (Author's Note: refer to Thankful - Part 1 for context!):

"I couldn't find one with a British logo, but I figured you'd know what it meant." Baler admitted. 

Simon shook his head, a grin smearing his face, "It'll do." 

"So... were you a private?" 

"Lieutenant." 

"You can call him private, he likes it." Kiera giggled. 

"I was going to get him something different, but that guy who calls himself after a bar of body wash told me it would be funny to call him something other than his actual rank." Baler explained, referring to Soap.

"Of course he did." 

[timandlucy]

hi suz! gosh, i've gone and done it again, it's been a while since i last messaged i'm sorry! the last week or so has just gone by in a blur.

what have you been up to since i last checked in? are you feeling any better? tell me all the things!

thank you SO MUCH for sharing your linstead fic, i can't wait to read it soon!

honestly dreaming about surprise songs is one of the most fun things about going to the eras tour lol my show isn't until the end of 2024 and i'm ready thinking up surprise songs that i'd want to hear. since she'll be resetting surprise songs and i'm assuming we'll have rep tv by the time your shows are, i am keeping my fingers crossed that she sings a rep track for you! the folklore and evermore sets are probably my favorite during the tour because they're so incredibly stunning, especially visually. the projections during august, the moss piano for champagne problems, the choreo of willow...everything about those sets are perfect and were probably my favorites of the eras tour. the rep set also really goes off so i know you'll have a great time then. the whole concert is amazing! that would be a super cute look for tour, the lover heart around the eye is *chef's kiss*

please let me know if you pick up any of the books i mentioned! i'd love to hear your thoughts! are you reading anything currently?

i'm definitely into the holiday spirit! it's been busy around here lately, but i've been watching 1-2, sometimes 3, christmas movies a night this week which has been really fun. i rewatched scott wolf and kristin chenoweth's hallmark movie the other day and it really is one of my favorites. it always makes me cry! i'll probably watch it again before the end of the year lol

sending love, good vibes and lots of holiday cheer! - secret sleuth 🧡 🔎

Omg don't even worry! I totally get it. I was so insanely busy with work and everything, it's a miracle I even get to open tumblr anymore these days.

What have I been up to? Hm, I'm still coughing really bad like 3 weeks later, so I think I might have possibly had the C-word. Work has also been busy, since I work at a bookstore and holiday season... retail hell and so on. Working at a store doesn't really make me appreciate the holidays any more. People can be so horrible and I've barely been keeping it together.

I'm crossing my fingers for King of my Heart for Vienna concert because the friend that I'm going with (and that got me a ticket as a gift), that's her favorite song, so I really want that. I've given it a lot of thought obviously, but The Lakes would be amazing, since it's one of my faves, but also DBATC because it took me forever to not mess up the lyrics and I would proudly scream it, and I just love it so much. Ahh I am so happy you liked the folklore and evermore sets, that makes me even more excited. In a way, I'm super happy we got the movie, because that means I won't be worried about every detail, and I'll be able to be more present. I'm just so incredibly excited!! 137 DAYS!!!!

Of course I will! I'll try to get some for the holidays, maybe I'll have some time to read then. I need a break for real. So this is gonna sound funny, but there's this YA really old book series called Sadler's Wells/Ballet Slippers. And I kinda wanna do a Nace AU loosely based on the main love story in it, so I'm re-reading that hahaha. Also sometimes it just feels good to read something like that for the nostalgia, you know?

Omg, lucky you! I haven't watched any in the past week. It's been busy, and I'm just tired. I really do like that one so much! I did watch Holidate last week, I really think Emma Roberts should only do rom-coms, she is so good at them!

Tomorrow is the last hectic day at work, so I'll hopefully be a bit less busy from then on and finish setting up my tree (it's been lightless since I got sick, I know, a travesty).

Sending lots of love and christmas magic! ✨🎄☃️

[accountingacademic]

A Great End to October!

Daily Reflection Tuesday, 31 October 2023

"Activity leads to productivity." - Jim Rohn

Things I'm Grateful For:

Being able to plow through the work for one of my courses all at once, so I can finish it early and devote those hours to other things, whether it be working out at the gym (the most likely situation in most cases, honestly) or doing work for other courses.

Highlights:

Honestly, I really enjoyed the opportunity to dress up and lean into my goth "phase" (in quotes because it never really ended, just got toned down a bit). The eyeliner might not have lasted, but I spent $4 on it, so I'm not surprised. I have two years until it expires though, so I can keep it for some special occasions. Same as the nail polish, I think.

I completely finished the last of the work for my computer apps course and sent the instructor an email to let her know I've done all the work and therefore won't be in class for the rest of the semester

Challenges:

I ended up with a migraine around 10. Thankfully it was one of the quick ones, where it makes me want to die for about an hour and then goes away.

Emotions:

A little nervous about my Communications presentation. The one who was ahead of me moved her turn into a later slot that opened up, so I'm going first at this rate.

Excited to have finished all of my Computer Apps work, because that frees up four hours per week for the rest of the semester.

Tomorrow's To-Do List:

Communications presentation.

Pay board.