#i won the seat that i can (and have) buy (bought)

[sunlightfeeling]

I promise not to post about this too much because I really really don’t want to like…shove it people’s faces (at least I would feel like i was even if others dont lol)

but oh my gosh

i think suggesting to my older brother that he could/should tag along on my trip was a really fucking good idea

like not just because it makes me a great and awesome and thoughtful little sister 😇

but because he’s actually gonna hold me to prepping and planning this whole thing 😭😭

[bywons]

⋆ DOUBLE SHOT ESPRESSO — YJW

╰—— “ say you can't sleep? baby, i know, that's that me espresso ” — where jungwon still remembers the way to your heart

🪽 𝖾𝗑-𝖻𝖿! 𝗒𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗇 x 𝖿! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 g . 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗈𝖿𝖿𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝖾𝗑𝖾𝗌𝟤𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 1855 𝒘𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗌 ! 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 ✦ ◞ CATALOGUE

๑´ ³`) ﾉ pls leave feedbacks if u liked it ♡ REBLOG !!

ib — espresso by sabrina carpenter ♡ for @okwonyo ’s celestial ballet event!

“jay?”, you pause your typing on the desktop, groaning as you massage your temples. “can you grab my usual drink from the cafeteria?”

“double shot espresso”, a mellow voice floats to you from the cubicle to your left, “am i right?”

“yeah, you're righ—”, wait. this doesn't sound like park jongseong. his voice is more serious, and besides you never had to repeat your order for jay. then whose voice is this? it sounds so familiar, so close. almost as if you know the face behind it.

you push your heels against the cold office floor, propelling yourself backward in your swivel chair, rolling away from your cubicle. it's dull, the atmosphere inside the office. the central AC cranked to the coolest setting, contributing to the dim lighting to make you squirm on your seat. outside, the sky is overcast, heavy with the promise of rain.

the wall separating you from the unknown man's cubicle, is now visible. behind it you can only see the outline of his black shirt, sleeves rolled up, fingers pretending to type.

“uhm”, you clear your throat, now just behind him, “you new here?”

“new to the office,” he finally spoke again, this time turning around in his chair, only to give you a heart attack, “but definitely not new to you.”

yang fucking jungwon. this cheeky bastard. you wish you could punch that sly smirk out of his face. the way his arms are crossed together with his head held high, eyes glinting with a mischievous hint while he holds his smirk on his lips.

is he trying to challenge you? but the last time you saw him was 5 months ago, in a desperate cry of getting you back in front of your apartment doorstep, with a bouquet of roses and baby's breath he bought in a rush. you had a hard time shooing him away that night. but then again jungwon is a fishy player, always at the node of your suspicion.

he has you banging your head against the wall, internally of course, yet again after 6 whole months.

jungwon leans back in his chair, head resting back, that teasing smile never leaving. this nonchalant asshole. "new job, same floor. didn't expect to see me, did you?”

“what do you want, jungwon?”, you try to keep your cool, arms crossed with a bored expression.

“ouch!”, he places a hand over his heart, pretending to be in pain— all the while having a smile attached, “jungwon? where's won? wonnie, my love? can we not do that?” what a drama queen.

you furrow your brows, a suspicious look casting over your face, “are you stalking me now?”

jungwon chuckles, sitting up straight in his chair, “stalking? no, i just happened to get a job here. pure coincidence.”

you narrow your eyes, not buying it for a second. “really? pure coincidence?”

“okay, maybe i pulled a few strings,” he admits, raising his hands in mock surrender. “but can you blame me? i missed you.”

“seriously, get out”, you whisper-scoff, loud enough for him to hear and frown. pushing your heels against the floor again, you return to your cubicle.

you cannot believe this man right now, did he actually stalk you enough to know your workplace? is he that desperate? heck, you can't even remember why you broke up with him in the first place. not with that pretty face of his following you to your cubicle, on his own swivel chair. and oh you can already predict his whines and horrific shenanigans to impress you back.

not to say, you do enjoy his company. he's a charming devil, always knowing how to make you laugh even when you don't want to. but you refuse to let him think he can just waltz back into your life without any consequences.

jungwon rolls his chair up beside yours, the wheels squeaking slightly. “ever since we've broken up, i can't sleep y/n. you're there in my dreams.”

you let out a chortle, loud enough to echo back to you, as you turn your head to jungwon— still laughing sarcastically. “i know, that's me, espresso. it's my kinda effect.”

“c’mon babe, let me have a chance to prove myself—”

“...i need to check this paperwork”, you stand up abruptly, collecting the messy papers filled with sticky notes all in a bunch and hurrying to the desk at the corner of the office.

before even putting the paperwork down on the desk, you feel his presence again beside you. he is speed, didn't waste a second of his time right after you broke up to show up at your door with your favourite plush toy he won at the claw machine in 5 minutes paired with his horrible guitar skills. to be very honest, you enjoy jungwon's antics. maybe even love it, he is an incredible person to be around. but he just can't be your hype boy, and you crave hype in your life.

you sigh, rummaging through the paperwork.

“remember our dance nights?”, you gasp at his sudden proximity, his lips nearly grazing the tip of your ears, the strong smell of his perfume ghosting all over. he moved a tad bit closer, the soft outline of his abs pressing gently against your back, “or the karaoke ones? or our late night swimming session? when have i ever bored you out, baby?”, his voice drops to a whisper.

thank god the office was empty, you don't how you would've explained your flustered face. you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, let them fly around, yang jungwon's going to mess up anyway. find some absurd antic of his to give you the ick and then you're gonna shoo him away again.

no more yang jungwon, no more headache, no more drama.

but what is life without a little drama? you've given the poor guy a fair chase of 6 months. he loves to chase hard to get, you love to play hard to get. it's a simple equation really, a match made in heaven. you can't deny the void you felt in your heart all these months when jungwon was away too. you were eager, longing, almost manifesting for his touch, for him to come back in your life.

and the universe listened, so you shouldn't complain now.

“i've been thinking of you, every day, every night”, his voice becoming huskier, now standing just behind. his fingers threaten to close in your waist; he plays with the fabric of your shirt.

“isn't that sweet?”, you reply, unable to move a muscle— you're under his spell, or is he under yours?

“i guess so,” he scoffs, “everything about you is sweet.” his hands finally close in around your waist, chin resting on top of your shoulder.

god, why aren't there any people in this office! it's only giving yang jungwon more courage to pull you closer, until your back pressed against his broad chest. a wave of nostalgia, dangerous for both of yet more for him. he has missed you, your touch, your voice, your daily espresso. god knows how bad he waited for this, again.

feathery lips brushing against the tip of your ears, a shiver down your spine. are you in for it again?

“why now?” you ask, exasperation creeping into your voice. “why after all these months?”

he takes a deep breath, his expression turning serious, arms tightening around you. “because i’ve had time to think. time to realise how much i screwed up and how much i miss you. i know it won’t be easy, but i'm willing to do whatever it takes.”

you shake your head, feeling the weight of his words but unwilling to give in just yet. “jungwon, we broke up for a reason. we both needed space and time to figure things out.”

“i know,” he says softly, turning you around. “and i've used that time to work on myself. i’ve changed, love. let me show you.”

you look into his eyes, searching for any hint of deception. but all you see is sincerity and determination. it’s the same look he had when you first fell for him.

a moment of bliss, before jungwon makes it even more euphoric. he pulls you in, in a long awaited kiss, lips desperately in search of the lost taste of espresso in yours. the bitter sweetness that he misses so hard. his hands grasp around your waist and pull you in closer, tongue running past your lips.

a bold move. all of this. a serious kiss with your ex on the first day of your new job? jungwon knows you like this type of bold.

“so..”, you pull away from the kiss, hands resting behind his neck, “...what now?”

“you still taste sweet,” jungwon lets out a breathy laugh, brushing his thumb against your lower lip, “just like i remember, like your double shot espresso.”

you can’t help but roll your eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “you and your cheesy lines, won. some things never change.”

“some things shouldn’t,” he retorts, his gaze softening. “like us.”

you open your mouth to respond, but the moment is interrupted by the sound of a familiar melody playing from his phone. jungwon grins, pulling back just enough to fish his phone out of his pocket.

“speaking of espresso,” he says with a playful glint in his eyes, “remember our dance nights?”

before you can protest, he’s already hit play, the catchy beat filling the otherwise quiet office. he holds out a hand, eyes twinkling with bliss. “may i have this dance?”

you glance around, ensuring the office is still empty, then take his hand with a resigned sigh. “you're impossible, jungwon. impresaing with dance steps now?”

he pulls you close, swaying to the music. “impossible to resist, you mean.”

you laugh despite yourself, letting him twirl you around the small space. jungwon’s dance moves are as ridiculous yet fabulous as ever, over-exaggerated and comically dramatic, but it’s exactly what you needed. he spins you out and back into his arms, dipping you low as the chorus hits.

“you always did love this song,” you say breathlessly as he pulls you back up.

“because it reminds me of you,” he replies, his expression softening. “strong, bold, unforgettable.”

your heart flutters at his words, and you find yourself leaning into him, the familiar comfort of his presence washing over you. maybe, just maybe, giving him another chance wouldn’t be the worst idea.

as the song ends, jungwon holds you close, his forehead resting against yours once more. “so, what now?”

you smile, feeling a warmth in your chest that you haven’t felt in months. “now, we take it one step at a time.”

“deal,” he agrees, his smile matching yours. “but can we start with that double shot espresso?”

“i'm more of a one shot espresso girl now.”

“one shot, double shot, triple shot, anything to get you back now”, jungwon presses a soft kiss against your lips.

espresso and jungwon will definitely be your favourites in the world, for a long long time.

a/n — omg i had so much fun writing this, i hope i brought out the best meaning of that song through this writing ^^ once again, happy 3k jiah pie,, love ya loads always mwah mwah ><

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

📌 :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! nets. @/k-labels tags! @leaderwon @dimplewonie @wonfilms @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaa-sia @ashtxrie @kgneptun @flwrstqr @haechansbbg @river-demon-slayer @in-somnias-world @teddywonss @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @mylstserenade @branchrkive @aishigrey @nctislifue @greyminyoon1 @ro-diaries @rikibun @sleepyxxhead @belovedsthings @moond1or @oddracha @shinrjj @nishislcve @luvlyhee

[be-missed]

Furniture Shop

Tara Carpenter X Fem!Reader

(picture not mine)

Summary: You and Tara went to IKEA to buy some suitable furniture for your new apartment to fit in with your fun activities.

Warning/s: Smut. Strap-on. Minors dni!

A/N: So, from the poll, Tara won. So here we go, hope you like it. I'm gonna use a different POV, so please tell me if you like this kind of wordings or the ones that I have been using for better service <3. A short one (?). Please lower your expectations, I feel so dumb.

Masterlist

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"Try to bend forward" Tara told you as you now check the 3rd show room for the kitchen section.

"I don't know, it's a bit high for me, and I bet you can't reach me by then" you teased Tara with a laugh that made the other girl gasped.

"You just did not say that Y/N." Tara answered with a fake annoyance in her voice "Well I think we can lower it down right?" Tara said while finding a way if the both of you can just cut the excess wood so that it will both fit your height.

"Baby, let's find another island bench, we are just on the third room anyway." You said while patting Tara's head like a defeated puppy, "But I really like the color scheme of this one baby." Tara said.

"Come on now, if we can't find any, then we will buy this one." You said while kissing Tara's forehead which makes her pout but starts to follow you in the next showroom in which where a living room is set.

You sat down on the middle of the sofa and taps the empty seat on your right and said, "Babe, try to sit down." Tara looked at you with curiosity not knowing what you are planning not until you fakely tossed your phone into Tara's feet.

Tara almost went ahead and grab your phone not until you stopped her hand and you slowly bent your knees and spread Tara's thighs. Which surprised Tara, so now she is sitting on the sofa, her leg spread wide, and you between it, kneeling.

"Hmm..." you stated, "This is is a nice height and a perfect angle when I get to blow your strap." Your statement made Tara's blood rush to her face. You stand up and dusted your knees to look more for other things that you can buy. But that was shocking for Tara, because that was the first time you said that you'll gonna blow her with the strap-on ever since you have ever started dating.

"Come on tomato head we've got a lot of furniture to try on." you said while wearing a smile of victory knowing that you made Tara flustered.

But the only thing that was on Tara's head was "We should get home before we make a scene."

---

"FINALLY!" Tara exclaimed as the both of you finished to screw the last part of the side of the kitchen island that the both of you bought from IKEA four days ago. "I was waiting for this moment, finally." Tara then looked at you with a naughty smirk.

"Can we rest for tonight? My arms got so tired from lifting all these woods" you said while you try to find some mercy in Tara's eyes but your girlfriend was so determined on having you tonight.

Tara steps towards your directions slowly and reaches the side of your face with her hand. She caress it that made you sink into her palm and that relaxed your neck that gave her a lot of space for her face to nestle in.

Tara leaves small kisses into the side of your neck until she reaches your ear and bit your lobe, "Sweetheart, you won't be needing you hands for tonight I promise you."

Tara then anchors her free hand to your waist then started to pepper wet kisses into your neck that made you grab the back of Tara's head and slightly pulled her baby hairs when she is leaving a mark on your pulse point.

Slowly, Tara directed you to your new sofa, not getting off of each other. Tara was now standing in front of your sofa while she slowly pushes you down into your knees. You didn't notice your position as you were so drunk and drowned with Tara leaving marks on your neck.

"Did you think I forgot what you said when we bought this sofa?" Tara said with a sly smile on her face while sat down on the same place you told her when you were shopping for furniture.

Now, you were the one with a tomato head, your blood was now rushing to your cheeks which Tara held and said "Hey, relax baby" putting butterfly kisses throughout your face "We don't need to do this if you are not comfortable" and looked at you directly.

But you were Oh so ready for this day, you have been researching on how can you give the best head to your girlfriend with the dildo on but still giving her pleasure. You were just scared because you don't know if you'll give a good head, no, the BEST head that Tara will ever receive throughout her lifespan. That was your goal, to be the best.

You looked at Tara with determined eyes and kissed her lips passionately, "Thank you baby, but I want to do this." You said while Tara gives you an encouragingly nod.

You started to untie the sweat pants that she was wearing that made the strap swing, you were like a teenager who just saw a dick for the first time, which you are, because you have only been with women that do not explore when it comes to sex, so you were only used to fingers, tongues, and a couple of vibrators.

Tara then encouraged you to put the strap on your mouth when she started to gather your hair and made a pony with her hand "Come on, baby show me what that mouth can do."

You started to lick the head and stride your tongue down to the base. Tara looked at you with so much lust in her eyes that made you wet. Tara wants you to go on your own phase and trust her, if it was for her, her strap would be down your throat any second now with how dirty you lick her whole strap.

After quite some time, lubricating the strap, you then tried to fit the head of the strap in your mouth, slowingly lowering your head to almost fit the strap inside your watering mouth. And Tara then was pleased to see you try to swallow it as a whole.

You tried to really swallow Tara's strap bobbing your head up and down for a couple of minutes trying different angles which made Tara twitch from her seat and tighten her hold towards your hair.

You reached for the base with your right hand that made Tara tug your hair which made you let out a whimper "Nuh uh, baby, you'll only be using your lovely mouth. I remember you were using it pretty well snarking at me the other day." And with that you put both of your hands behind your back that made Tara buck her hips into your mouth that gagged you because holy shit, you being so helpless made her more even horny, she was now fucking your mouth and you were also surprised with you ability to just swallow Tara.

She then pulled the strap around your mouth and pulled you into the kitchen.

"Bend over." Tara said using her tone that you know you can't fight with, and that only made you more wet, imagining if Tara can fuck you like a sex toy and pound you hard while you were bent over pleading for a release.

Tara lowered your sleeping shorts and palmed you through your underwear, "Looks like I don't even need to tease you for tonight baby, you are soaking." and bunched your underwear to the side.

Tara snaked her right hand in front of you inserted her hand into your underwear and started to put pressure, starting with slow big circles from your clit to your drenched whole that made you grinding you ass to the strap. It just made you more wet and you started to release soft moans that encouraged Tara, "Beg."

One word, Tara dropped that one word you were wishing to not hear for tonight. You were so shy to beg for Tara when you two have sex, so you just wait until Tara gets soft to you and fuck you senseless, but tonight, you feel that it's gonna be different.

Tara then started to guide the strap with her left hand onto your slit, dragging it along your wet folds, while her right hand started its journey in groping your breast. Tara just made it harder for you.

You let out whimper after whimpers until Tara aligned the strap and started to slowly enter you. That just made you slump your body into the kitchen island and grabbed the edges until your palm hurt. "At last, Tara's gonna fuck me" You thought, but Tara left the entire length of the strap outside and the head was only inside of you.

"Beg, or I would leave you hanging like this and trust me you wouldn't like to sleep all wet and bothered aren't you." Tara whispered to your ear and started small slow circles with your clit and that made you moan.

"Tara..." You said, and Tara started to move her hips, inserting and taking out the head, "Come on, baby.." Tara said, soothing you back. A second pass and you feel Tara pulled the strap out and that made you panic, trapping Tara's hand with your thigh.

"Please" you almost screamed, you looked back at Tara with her eye brows raised, waiting for more words to come out of your mouth, "I need you, so bad... right now." and bit your bottom lip and Tara said "I know you can do more baby" and grasp your ass with her right hand and continuing the circles on your clit that was now going faster.

"Tara please, I can't take it anymore... I need you please baby" you said with and that was the last straw for Tara, "See, that's not hard isn't it" and slowly inserted the strap inside you that made the both of you moaned.

Tara started a slow rhythm, trying to build you up, you felt a sting on your ass and you realised that Tara just spanked you, and you should feel angry, but that just made you so wet that you even moaned.

"Look at you taking me so well, not so shy anymore huh?" Tara taunted you and you just moaned with how the head of the strap be hitting every right place that your own fingers can't.

The slapping of your skin echoed throughout the whole flat and it made you even hornier. Tara slowed down, and said "Be a good girl and fuck yourself" Tara snaked her left hand in front your body and lifted you up holding you up through your neck.

You started to bounce yourself from Tara's strap which Tara really enjoyed seeing you flex your back so much. "Harder, please" you silently whispered where Tara obliged.

Her left hand started to tighten around your throat and her right hand started to move fast around your clit "I know your close, come on baby." Tara encouraged you more.

"Fuck baby... Tara-" You said while you pinch your nipple to apply more pleasure "I'm close baby... please" You pleaded, that came out so smooth in your tongue.

"Fuck... Come Y/N, don't hold back, cum baby" With Tara still thrusting her hips into you, you moaned Tara's name loud enough to let your neighbors know that your girlfriend be fucking you really good. After a few second past, you feel Tara pushed the strap into you and she came with a moan, whispering your name again and again while she slump down your back.

---

"Shit, this apartment is amazing you guys" Sam told the both of you while she explore the cupboards in your kitchen and seeing the different appliances that you also bought.

You were leaning into the kitchen island bent as like your position last night, as you happily look at Sam appreciate your home.

"Yeah, we tried to really follow a color code so that we can have a theme for our home" Tara said entering the kitchen and placed herself behind you until Sam situated her eyes in the both of you.

Sam looked at the both of you disgustingly "Really, you two planned on fucking in the kitchen?" noticing that the kitchen island was so perfect for the both of you.

You and Tara burst out laughing, "What do you mean we plan, we already did" Tara said while sticking her tongue out to tease her sister.

"What the fuck" Sam quickly went out of the kitchen and into the living room, she was so grossed out on how freaky the both of you. Tara saw Sam was about to seat and said "Oh, I won't seat on that spot if you know what I mean."

Sam hurriedly gathered her things "You know what, I won't be coming to your house not until I see you both sanitize your own shit." Sam then went out the door and made Tara laugh.

"Stop teasing your sister babe" you exclaimed and Tara replied "I can't help it, it is true though" and just pulled you in for a kiss.

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A/N: I hope this satisfy your expectations. I tried writing in this kind of POV. Comments and suggestions are appreciated, hope you enjoyed. Not proofread.

[stevieschrodinger]

Link to part five

Part six

Steve sits in the Beemer squeezing the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. He can't make himself let go.

He also can't seem to make himself leave.

His mate is in there. His mate who is carrying their pup. Steve's pup.

He can't leave.

It's a good ten minutes of Steve feeling like the world is collapsing in on him before the door swings open, and Wayne comes out, holding two beers. He opens the door and climbs in, sitting in the passenger seat, handing a beer to Steve, who takes it reflexively. He's pretty sure he doesn't actually want it. But Wayne chinks the necks of the bottles together in toast and says, "congratulations."

Steve starts laughing, it's a bit hysterical and it takes a few minutes before he can make himself stop. He does drink the beer.

"He told you?"

Wayne chuckles, "nah, of course he didn't. Clocked the positive test just sitting in the trash, but that boy hasn't thought more than thirty seconds ahead even one time in his life."

They sit in comfortable silence for a while before Steve admits, "I'm so angry with him."

"Think you've a right to that."

"I'm not leaving him."

"Didn't think you would."

They sit together, ten more minutes of silence between them before Steve admits, "I feel like he's stolen it from me...not the pup," Steve elaborates as Wayne raises an eyebrow at him, "the chance to do this properly. The chance to court him, mate him. Have a nice nest ready, a home together...and then pups. I still want it he's just...taken away my chance to do it all properly, I guess."

Wayne hums agreeably.

Steve sighs, "I should go in."

"Reckon." Wayne agrees stoically.

Steve had bought Eddie a spinning wool thing with a handle as a courting gift. Eddie had been so happy with it, something he wanted to organise all his balls of wool into...more square balls. Steve didn't understand it, but Eddie had been so happy he'd spent an hour playing with it and organising his small yarn collection while Steve watched, puffed up and proud his Omega was happy.

Eddie had smelled so much better since his heat, so much more like home and mate...and Steve just figured it was because Eddie was doing better.

Now he knows the real reason he's scenting so appealing; the pup.

Eddie hides deeper in his nest. Whatever that thing was that he lost when his Omega went to ground, well, it's been back since his heat. It's been back ten fold. Eddie had never nested in his life, now? Now if Hawkins held some sort of nesting championships, Eddie would have won it three times this week.

He knew, knew for certain before he bothered to piss on a stick that he'd caught. He knew it was early to show, but his usually almost concave stomach was...not that anymore. He was eating more, some instinct driving him. He was tidying the trailer; sorting things he'd never bothered or cared about before.

So he'd known. Known before those pink lines had appeared on the test.

And Steve. Steve who is courting the hell out of him. Steve who nuzzles him and scents him and brings him home made cookies and pasta and meatballs. Steve who buys him things and holds him close and, even though they haven't done anything more than kiss a little since Eddie's heat, is happy to run gentle hands across Eddie when they nap.

Steve who had innocently investigated that oh so subtle curve to Eddie's stomach. Steve who didn't even question that there was something there until he caught what must have been a horrified, guilty look on Eddie's face. Eddie who had stammered out an apology, like an idiot.

He should have just told him.

He should have come clean, right at the beginning. But Eddie was harbouring a guilty fantasy where he gets to keep his pup and Steve, and he wasn't quite ready to loose it just yet.

He hears the trailer door from where he's buried in his nest. He hears his bedroom door and opens his mouth to tell Wayne to go away, but it's Steve who speaks, "we will be talking about this in the morning."

And then the mattress dips, the blankets shift, and Eddie is pulled into Steve's arms, Steve's hand resting delicately over Eddie's belly button.

[starsstuddedsky]

Blonde Phase

Renjun x gn reader

summary: spontaneous hair decisions always end in regret. that's what you expect to hear when you tell renjun you're bleaching your hair, but instead you find support, and even his help. you should appreciate his wholehearted support but instead it has you wondering: why doesn't he care?

genre: fluff, minimal angst, technically they're in grad school but that's not particularly relevant, non idol au,

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, spontaneous hair decisions (i do not endorse), lmk if I missed any

wc: 4.4k

a/n: in the immortal words of charles boyle, the most intimate thing you can do with a lover is wash their hair. yknow i made fun of him for that until i wrote this. i see it. also its been so long since ive finishing anything, pls forgive me if this is bad. renjun i love u. as always I'd love to hear what you think <3

“I’m bleaching my hair.” If you say it fast enough, Renjun won’t be able to talk you out of it. The plastic bag swings around your wrist as you walk across the parking lot. “I’ve already bought the bleach and gloves and stuff, and I’m going to do it, today.”

He’s quiet for so long you check to make sure the call hasn’t dropped. “Okay.”

You almost drop your phone. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, drawing the word out. “Was I supposed to say something else?”

“Um, yeah?” You say. “You have opinions about literally everything. You talked me out of buying those pants two days ago.” You finally get to your car, tossing the bag onto the passenger seat and half-falling behind the wheel.

“That’s because they were made of polyester, and the thrift store was still charging $15,” he says immediately. “That was a scam.”

“Money is temporary, drip is forever.”

“Those pants would have lasted a year max, before they fell apart, and you still haven’t learned how to sew so you wouldn’t even be able to mend them or upcycle them.”

“You know what, I didn’t buy the pants, so this fight is moot,” you say. You set the phone on speaker, turning the engine on to blast the AC.

“Well, not moot. Technically I won,” Renjun says.

“I’d respect you more if you weren’t insufferable.”

“Here I was thinking you appreciated my insight,” he says. “You even asked for it.”

“I did not!”

“You literally asked about bleaching your hair.”

“I said I was surprised you didn’t have an opinion, not that I wanted to hear it,” you say.

“Semantics,” Renjun says. “So what time do you want to come over?”

You frown. “Tonight?”

“The roommates are out of town for the whole weekend, and I have way better ventilation,” he says. “I’d much rather bleach it without passing out.” He pauses. “You do want help, right?”

“Honestly, I was not expecting support. I was fully ready to fight you on this,” you say.

He snorts. “Come over whenever, I'm not doing anything today.”

“See you in twenty minutes.” You hang up, feeling a strange ball of tension roll around in your gut. That was… too easy? Renjun always has something to say about your admittedly impulsive tendencies. But if he’s going to help you’re not going to reject it—knowing Renjun he’s probably already watching Youtube videos and learning more than you will ever know about bleaching hair.

And it’s Renjun. When have you done anything without his help?

.

.

Renjun opens the door wearing a wearied expression. He doesn’t bother to greet you or even smile, just unlocks the door and steps to the side.

“Hi to you, too,” you say, trading your shoes for the spare slippers resting by the doormat. You follow Renjun into the space that serves as kitchen, dining room, living room, and Jaemin’s miniature gym, with weights and mats stacked next to the television.

“Who the hell clogs a toilet and then leaves for the weekend,” Renjun says.

You set down your plastic bag full of hair products and frown. “That’s disgusting.”

Renjun leans against the counter. “And you didn’t have to spend the last forty minutes trying to unclog it.”

“So which of the guys are you going to murder?” You try to guess, running through his roommates: you find it hard to believe Jaemin would do such a thing. Jeno maybe, and Donghyuck would certainly think it’s funny. But, in all honesty, it could have been any of them.

“Don’t know,” Renjun says, “but knowing them, they’ll make a pact to protect each other.”

“Seriously?”

Renjun pauses, gaze sheepish. “It’s what I did when I accidentally killed Jaemin’s little succulent that survived his college dorm.”

You fake a gasp, placing a hand over your chest. “Every day I learn something new about you. That’s devious.”

“I was drunk!” Renjun says, holding up a finger. “And Jeno and Donghyuck pushed me into it, so it was equally their fault.”

“If you say so.” You glance around the apartment. “Where are they all?”

“Jaemin’s visiting family, Jeno has a soccer tournament, and Donghyuck said he’s going camping with Yangyang.” Renjun says, counting off with his fingers.

“Donghyuck and Yangyang are friends?”

“Yeah, according to them they bonded over dealing with me.”

“Those were their exact words?”

“Dealing with my ‘stupid ass,’” Renjun says.

“That’s more on brand.”

Renjun nods.

You think about Yangyang, Renjun’s friend from when he was a kid. You’ve met him a few times now, especially since he’s moved half an hour away from Renjun. He’s fun, always bringing out a chaotic side of Renjun whether it’s dancing on a bar or bringing out angry-Renjun. But Yangyang and Donghyuck?

“That’s a terrible friendship. They’re going to ruin you.”

Renjun nods again, but you see the smile hiding in his eyes. He can rant all he wants, you know he’s excited his friends are getting closer with each other.

You point at the bag. “So where are we doing this?”

You half expect him to lecture you about rash hair decisions but he just gestures to the kitchen. “I figure right here should be fine. The tiles should be pretty easy to clean and probably could use some bleach anyway.”

He drags the chair with a rickety leg from the dining table. You dig through the bag and set everything on the counter. While Renjun cracks a window open, you begin to mix the developer and the bleach, curling your lip at the sharp scent. Renjun joins you, pulling on a pair of gloves.

“Wow that’s strong,” he says, wincing.

“Yeah,” you say. “Definitely a good idea to do it here.”

When the powder is finally combined, you sit on the chair, Renjun following behind you. You section off your hair together, then he grabs the bowl and the brush.

He holds the thick paintbrush brush up against your hair, glancing at you, giving you one last chance to back down. You give him the nod of approval and he shifts back to focusing on your hair, brushing the bleach into it as carefully as he spreads paint on a canvas. He works section by section, carefully drenching your hair with the creamy solution.

“So, are you going to tell me why you decided to do this?”

You can’t resist turning and glancing at him. “I thought you approved.”

“I didn’t try to talk you out of it,” he says, “that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about how you came to this decision.”

You nod until Renjun uses his gloved hand to hold your head straight. “I suppose that’s fair.”

You pause, trying to find the right words. But you find yourself drifting back to Renjun. Why didn’t he ask this before the bleach was in your hair? It’s not like him to keep his opinions to himself. When you first met him, he was yelling at Donghyuck for going to a philosophy seminar just to fight with the notorious bigot of a professor (which Donghyuck did and then got kicked out, and proceeded to get the professor suspended). You only knew Mark back then, a friend from another class who invited you to meet some of his other friends in the dining hall. When Renjun turned to ask what you thought, you said Donghyuck should do what he thinks is right. Renjun didn’t hesitate to call you an idiot then. So why isn’t he calling you an idiot now?

To his credit Renjun doesn’t rush you. He continues to paint the bleach into your hair, content to wait for you to figure out an answer. Except you’re thinking about all the wrong questions. Like, seriously, why do you want him to call you an idiot?

“I want a change,” you finally say. “I’m stuck in a degree that will make me absolutely no money when I graduate, I can’t afford to break my lease, and don’t have any major relationships that need upheaving, so, hair.”

“‘A change?’” Renjun repeats. “Like, you woke up this morning and thought, today I’m going blonde?”

“Like, I have this feeling in my chest, this aching feeling that there’s something I need to do, someone I’m supposed to be, something more than the person I see in the mirror but I’ve made my decisions and I’m happy with my decisions and I genuinely like who I am. So, hair.”

You see Renjun’s hand falter out of the corner of your eye, halfway between the bleach mixture and your hair. He freezes for a heartbeat then continues to move, lifting some hair off your ear, careful not to brush the bleach onto your skin.

“‘So, hair,’” he says.

“Are you really going to repeat everything I say?”

This gets a short laugh from him. “I think the fumes are getting to me already.” He pauses, setting down the brush and stepping in front of you. “For what it’s worth, I like who you are, too. I’m really glad we’re friends.”

You smile at him. “Me too,” you say. “I definitely would have fucked up trying to bleach this on my own.”

.

.

“There’s still some bleach left,” Renjun says after he finishes with your roots. “You’re sure you don’t want your eyebrows to match?”

“Why don’t we do your eyebrows,” you say. “Better yet, why don’t we shave them off?”

Renjun sets down the brush. “Okay, no eyebrows.”

You grin at him. “That’s what I thought.”

He helps you get a plastic bag wrapped securely over your head, then sets the timer.

“What do you want to do for the next half hour?” You ask. “Preferably something that requires little to no movement.” You gesture to your head. “We’re not winning any frisbee tournaments tonight.”

“It was one time,” Renjun mutters, shaking his head and stepping around you plop down onto the couch. “We can watch something.”

You follow him, sitting on the other side, a cushion between you. The space feels strangely empty. Though you’ve spent plenty of time alone with Renjun, even alone with him at his apartment, the silence is usually interrupted by one of the guys getting bored of playing League, or coming back because they can’t go out to a bar without someone forgetting their ID, or in desperate need of Renjun’s expert advice (read: Jeno never remembers to ask Renjun to look over his submissions until 12 minutes before they’re due). The cushion between you never stays empty for long but the moments stretch on, only making the distance feel greater.

You wonder, not for the first time, how long it’s been since you’ve thought of Renjun as just a friend. If he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much about what he thinks. And if he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much that he suddenly doesn’t think.

You sneak a glance at him, fiddling with the remote for a couple seconds before realizing he grabbed the wrong one. He’s certainly always been handsome—that was undeniable from the moment you met him. But more than just being good looking, it’s Renjun himself. Not just those dark eyes, but the way they burn with passion (even when he’s arguing about the proper number of appetizers to order). It’s his perfectly shaped lips, the way they betray how he feels with a slight curve up or down—and his smile. Always, always his smile, beautiful and breathtaking even though you’ve seen it a thousand times.

He turns, a little furrow in his brow. “What?”

“Hm?”

“You’re looking at me funny,” he says. “Did I get bleach in my hair or something?”

You turn to face the TV, trying to pay attention to the show Renjun chose. “I wasn’t looking at you funny,” you say. “I wasn’t even looking at you.”

“If you say so,” Renjun says, “but if there’s a blonde spot anywhere in my hair, I’m so making you pay for it.”

You shake your head. Where the hell did those thoughts come from? Renjun, more than a friend? Sure, you’re close with him and sure, he’s objectively attractive, but you’ve never had those thoughts before. Well, at least not sober.

“Um, why are we watching Singles Inferno?”

“Because I asked and you were too busy not staring at me to answer, so I put it on,” Renjun says. “And don’t you dare try to tell me you don’t like it. I saw you rant on your Instagram story the other day.”

“Okay, but you don’t get it,” you say. “This bitch really has the audacity to to—”

“I saw your post,” Renjun says. “Believe me, I get it.”

“If you didn’t want to hear about it you should not have turned it on, because now I can’t stop,” you say. Renjun rolls his eyes but even as you delve into a full on essay about the horrible men particularly common in dating shows, you see the corners of his lips tilt up into a smile.

.

.

The timer goes off halfway through an episode.

“Saved by the buzzer,” Renjun says. “I’m putting a ban on anything reality TV related for the next three hours.”

“You’re the one that brought it up,” you mutter without any real annoyance. Despite his banter, Renjun dutifully listened to your rants, and even got mad along with you.

You drag a chair to the sink while Renjun drapes a towel over your shoulders. He puts on gloves and unwraps the bag, letting your hair fall into the empty sink.

“Close your eyes,” Renjun says gently. He tilts your head back, cupping the back of your head for a moment before pulling the head of the sink faucet out. He runs the water, long enough for you to peek your eyes open.

You’ve gotten used to seeing Renjun focused. He gets a little furrow in his brow, always glaring at his work. Before you were friends, you used to think he was actually angry, that his frowns and short tone were real. You’ve learned since then, it’s not his emotions, it’s his passion. The frown only comes out when he’s focused, trying to be perfect. When he cares.

“Unless you want bleach in them, close your eyes,” Renjun mutters, with absolutely no malice behind the words. His eyes shift to meet yours and that’s how you know you’re right. He can glare and bluster all he wants, he can’t hide his eyes, warm and shining. Like when he’s looking at his art, his gaze is a combination of soft and intense, creating something stronger than affection. Except he’s not looking at his art, he’s looking at you.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your heartbeat pick up. Despite every attempt to shut down the thoughts, they race through your head, a stampede grown out of control. Renjun, who you’ve only known a year and a half but who has become one of your closest friends. Renjun, who never fails to share the only opinion you really care about. Renjun, who you can’t imagine life without. Renjun, who you’ve never dared to imagine life with.

He places a hand on your forehead, bringing the faucet closer to rinse your roots while keeping the water from pouring onto your face. You prepare for a cold shock but the water that soaks into your hair is the perfect temperature—not scalding hot, not freezing cold. Some water sprays over his hand, falling onto your eyelids and cheeks.

“Sorry,” Renjun murmurs. He holds the head farther away, running his fingers gently through the roots of your hair. He’s so close you can feel his breath, warm against your temple. You can feel his body, hovering over yours, and maybe it’s just your imagination, but warmth seems to emanate from it.

His friends would laugh at you if you described Renjun as soft to their face, but it’s the only adjective that captures the way he works the water through your hair. Soft and gentle and careful and nothing like the Renjun that has to corral everyone into his car at 3 in the morning. And yet this Renjun doesn’t feel like a stranger to you.

Washing your hair takes a lifetime, but as soon as he steps away and turns off the water, you miss it. You miss him, even though he’s only a couple feet away.

“You can open your eyes now,” he says. As soon as you do, he tosses a towel at you. It hits you in the face before you can get your hands up.

“Hey!”

“Sorry,” Renjun says, not sounding sorry at all. He manages to hold back the laugh but still grins at you, unashamed. He steps forward and pats your face dry, with the same gentleness as before, though there’s still a mischievous glint in his eyes. You yank the towel away before he gets any ideas, drying off your face on your down and wrapping it around your hair. You wring it out a couple times before letting go, doing your best to get it to fall evenly around your head.

You raise your eyebrows at Renjun. “Okay, how bad is it?”

“Okay, first of all, I’m insulted that you think there’s any way I’d fuck up you hair,” Renjun says. “And it looks really good. Blonde suits you.”

You take a deep breath and pull out your phone, studying yourself in the mirror and… he’s right. The color is even, somewhere between blonde and orange that is unavoidable when using bleach. Radical hair changes generally end in tears but looking at yourself in the mirror, you don’t feel the usual dissonance. The hair is different but somehow more familiar than the “normal” you that doesn’t feel right anymore.

“I’m right,” Renjun says.

You smile. “Yeah, you are.” You put down your phone, meeting his eyes. “Thank you, Renjun.”

“For what?”

“Doing all of this for me,” you say.

“It’s the least I could do,” he mumbles. “You’re my friend.”

You shake your head. “Thank you anyways.”

Renjun just shrugs and grabs the bowl, rinsing out the bleach in the sink. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s avoiding your eyes.

You do your best to clean up the bleach from the floor, busying yourself until Renjun finishes. You wonder if you’re imagining the tiles getting a little bit whiter. Finally, he turns off the water and glances at you.

“You’re really happy with it?” He asks, sounding more like he doubts you rather than changing his opinion.

“Yeah,” you say, standing up. “I think it’s the ‘me’ of right now, you know?”

“Not really.”

“Like, I feel disjointed, and blonde hair is definitely not me, but it's the me that feels kind of all over the place, so even though it doesn’t look like me, it looks like me.” You wring your hands together, fingers tinged red.

“That makes no sense,” Renjun says, “but I think I get what you mean.” He smiles. “And I’m glad. I wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”

So he did think this was a potential mistake? Why didn’t he say anything?

Renjun turns back to the sink, but before he can turn the water on, your voice calls his name. “Renjun?”

“Hm?” He doesn’t turn around.

“Why didn’t you fight me on this?”

He doesn’t move for a long moment. You wish you could see his face. “I have been told by certain people,” he begins, which is code for Donghyuck and Yangyang certified their position as Renjun’s worst nightmare. He turns to face you, wiping his hands on a towel.

“That I have a tendency to be overly opinionated in a generally negative direction. And I thought about it, and I realized I'm never really fully supportive, whether it’s a big decision, or, like, coffee, and I’ve always been this way, but, apparently, it’s especially… apparent with you.” He frowns. “This is all coming out wrong. I’m trying to say that it’s different when I’m around you. I’m different.”

Your eyes jump between his, trying to decipher what he’s saying. “Different?”

“I care a lot about you,” Renjun says, “more than anyone, actually.”

“Oh.” You blink once, twice. “Wait, you like me?”

Renjun’s eyes shift to the floor. “Yeah.”

You can’t help but let out a short laugh, reeling at the absurdity of it all. Renjun likes you? But he’s Renjun. Even though he’s the most common main character in your daydreams, you never once realistically thought he might be fantasizing about you too. But he likes you.

“I really didn’t want to say anything, I mean, before anything else you’re my friend, and I don’t want to ruin that,” Renjun says rapidly. “We’re good friends, and I really didn’t want to be the guy that pretends to be your friend but just wants to date you the whole time, that’s really not what I was trying to do, it’s just—”

“Renjun.” You put a hand on his shoulder and he freezes mid sentence, mouth still hanging open a little. Before he can move, you lean closer, the type of line you’d only dare to cross in your dreams.

“I’d like to kiss you,” you say softly. He blinks, eyes darting between your eyes and your lips.

“I’d like that,” he finally breathes. So you kiss him.

It starts light, his lips exactly as you imagined—soft and warm. His arm works its way around your waist, pulling you closer. The other works its way into your hair, still wet and sticking to your head. Renjun kisses like he’s been planning this for a long time, and maybe he has. Every movement is slow and careful, until he’s stolen all your air and even then you don’t want to pull away.

Your bravery fades the minute you meet his eyes. You bury your face into his chest, your cheek resting against your own hand. Renjun wraps both of his arms around you, holding you snugly in place.

“I like you, too,” you say into his chest. It’s the cowards route but if you look him in the eyes the words will never come out. “If it wasn’t obvious.”

“It wasn’t actually,” he says softly. “I think I drove all of my friends insane trying to figure out whether I should confess or not.”

“They all know?” You groan. “We’re never going to hear the end of this.”

“Yeah.” When Renjun laughs, it shakes your whole body. You can feel the rumbling, overtaking his heartbeat. “It’s okay though. It’s worth it.”

You turn your head, emerging from the sanctuary of his chest and tucking your head so that you can see his face. He smiles at you with the familiar warmth you’ve come to expect.

“Yeah,” you say, “it really is.”

Renjun grins.

“Your hair on the other hand…” He says.

“I thought you liked it!”

“I like it,” Renjun says, “but when has Donghyuck ever liked a single change to anyone’s hair?”

“Since when do you care what Donghyuck thinks?”

“I’m just saying now that we’re officially dating, my friends are going to be extra annoying,” Renjun says.

“Extra annoying? I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Don’t underestimate them.”

You groan, pressing your face back into his chest. “It’s not too late to get some hair dye.”

“You are not changing your hair because of my dumbass friends,” Renjun says.

“You like it?”

“You like it,” he says. “That’s the only opinion that really matters.” He pauses then adds, “But yeah. I like it.”

You grin, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. “Maybe we should dye your hair too.”

Renjun snorts. “Oh yeah?”

“We could have matching couples hair.”

He laughs out loud this time. “Maybe we should just get some shirts.”

“Three minutes of dating and you already want matching shirts? Huang Renjun, be honest.” You push off of him until you can place your hands on his shoulders and look him in the eyes. “Are you obsessed with me?”

“Yes,” he says, layering his voice in sarcasm that still isn’t enough to hide the truth of the admission. “All day every day, all I think about is you.”

“Well, see, that can’t be true because if you were that obsessed and I’m this close, you would already be kissing me because—” You forget whatever you were going to say, but it doesn’t really matter. Not when Renjun is kissing you like this. Your hands at his shoulders slink around his neck, while his wrap around your waist, leaning so close to you, you feel your back begin to dip.

Huang Renjun is poison, the kind that turns into a heart-shaped puff of pink when the bottle is opened. You melt into his kiss and it’s still not enough. You could die, right this instant, and you don’t think you’d notice. Death itself wouldn’t be able to tear you away from this moment.

“Renjun!” Donghyuck’s voice thunders through the kitchen. “How dare you? You bastard, you’re cheating?”

You jump apart, turning to see him looming in the doorway. His glare settles on you, and you see the exact moment he realizes he recognizes you.

“Jesus Christ, you could have knocked or something,” Renjun says.

“I live here too,” Donghyuck says automatically. He squints, then looks at Renjun, then back at you. “YN? Your hair is blonde.”

For some reason, you raise your hand and wave at him. “Hey!”

“Oh my god!” Donghyuck cries. “Yangyang owes me thirty dollars!” He races back out the door, screaming something that’s lost as the door swings shut.

You glance at Renjun. “Cheating?”

He frowns at the door, still a crack open. “Did he… seriously think you were someone else? That I was cheating on my unrequited crush?”

His eyes shift to yours. A heartbeat passes and you burst into laughter. His friends might be annoying, but they’re still endearing. You press a messy, smile-infested kiss to his lips and wonder if you’ll ever get used to the giddy feeling.

There’s plenty messy in your life, plenty to doubt. But watching Yangyang and Donghyuck drag their backpacks in (apparently Donghyuck forgot his power bank and they decided to give up on camping) as they attempt to interrogate Renjun on every detail, you can’t help but feel like it doesn’t really matter. You don’t doubt Renjun. You don’t doubt blonde suits you. And you don’t doubt the power of a last minute hair decision, not anymore.

thank you for reading!! likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated

[psychics4unet]

20 Simpsons Psychic Predictions That Came True 🚀

Hey there, fellow Simpsons fans! 🎉 If you’ve been following The Simpsons, you know that this iconic show isn’t just about laughs and donuts (though we love those too). It’s also about some eerily accurate predictions that have left us all scratching our heads. 🤔 How did this cartoon get so many things right about the future? Grab a seat, grab a donut 🍩, and let’s dive into some of the wildest psychic predictions from The Simpsons that actually came true! 🚀

🌟🔮✨ Curious about what the future holds for you? Just like The Simpsons predicted some mind-blowing events, you too can uncover what’s in store for your life. Click the link below for your own personal psychic reading and get insights that might just amaze you:

1. Donald Trump’s Presidency 🇺🇸

Season 11, Episode 17 (“Bart to the Future”)

In this episode from the year 2000, Lisa becomes the president and mentions that they inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. Fast forward to 2016, and Donald Trump becomes the 45th president of the United States. What the what?! 😲

2. Smartwatches ⌚

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

During a future vision of Lisa’s wedding, her fiancé uses a watch to make a phone call. This was in 1995, way before smartwatches became a thing in the 2010s. Talk about being ahead of the curve! 📱

3. Disney Buys 20th Century Fox 🏰🦊

Season 10, Episode 5 (“When You Dish Upon a Star”)

In 1998, there’s a scene showing the 20th Century Fox sign with a subtitle “A Division of Walt Disney Co.” In 2019, Disney actually bought 21st Century Fox. Coincidence? I think not! 🎬

4. Video Chatting 💻

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

Again in Lisa’s Wedding, we see video calls being made. This was years before Skype, FaceTime, or Zoom became part of our daily lives. The Simpsons were definitely on to something here! 🖥️

5. The Shard in London 🏙️

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

In the same episode (wow, it’s like a crystal ball!), we see a skyline that includes a skyscraper eerily similar to The Shard, which wasn’t built until 2012. 👀

6. Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl Performance 🎤

Season 23, Episode 22 (“Lisa Goes Gaga”)

In 2012, The Simpsons showed Lady Gaga performing at a concert, suspended in the air. Fast forward to 2017, and Gaga did exactly that at the Super Bowl halftime show. Fly, Gaga, fly! 🎇

7. Nobel Prize Winner 🏅

Season 22, Episode 1 (“Elementary School Musical”)

Milhouse predicted that Bengt Holmström would win the Nobel Prize in Economics. And guess what? Holmström did win it in 2016. Way to go, Milhouse! 📊

8. Ebola Outbreak 🌍

Season 9, Episode 3 (“Lisa’s Sax”)

In this 1997 episode, Marge suggests that Bart read a book titled “Curious George and the Ebola Virus.” Years later, in 2014, there was a significant Ebola outbreak. Chills! 😬

9. Siegfried and Roy Tiger Attack 🐅

Season 5, Episode 10 (“$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”)

The show depicted a white tiger attacking entertainers similar to Siegfried and Roy. Tragically, in 2003, Roy was indeed attacked by one of their white tigers during a performance. 😥

10. U.S. Wins Olympic Gold in Curling ����

Season 21, Episode 12 (“Boy Meets Curl”)

Homer and Marge compete in curling and win a gold medal. In real life, the U.S. men’s team won the gold medal in curling at the 2018 Winter Olympics. Sweep that, skeptics! 🥇

But wait, there’s more! Let’s keep this prediction train rolling with some honorable mentions that didn’t make the top 10 but are still pretty mind-blowing. 🚂💨

11. Horse Meat Scandal 🐴

Season 5, Episode 19 (“Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”)

Lunchlady Doris used “assorted horse parts” in the cafeteria food. In 2013, a scandal erupted in Europe when horse meat was found in various beef products.

12. FIFA Corruption Scandal ⚽

Season 25, Episode 16 (“You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee”)

The episode features a storyline involving corruption in the World Football Federation. In 2015, several FIFA officials were arrested amid a corruption investigation.

13. Farmville 🚜

Season 9, Episode 12 (“Bart Carny”)

In this 1998 episode, kids are seen excitedly playing a yard work simulator game. Fast forward to the 2000s, and Farmville became a massive hit on Facebook.

14. Faulty Voting Machines 🗳️

Season 20, Episode 4 (“Treehouse of Horror XIX”)

Homer tries to vote for Obama in the 2008 election, but the machine keeps changing his vote to McCain. In 2012, there were real reports of voting machines changing votes.

15. Beats by Dre 🎧

Season 8, Episode 14 (“The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show”)

In a scene from 1997, we see a character wearing what looks like modern-day Beats by Dre headphones, years before they existed.

16. Mutant Tomatoes 🍅

Season 11, Episode 5 (“E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)”)

Homer grows mutant tomatoes after using nuclear power on his crops. In real life, scientists created genetically modified tomatoes that glow in the dark.

17. NSA Surveillance 🕵️

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The movie depicted the NSA spying on citizens. In 2013, Edward Snowden revealed that the NSA was indeed conducting mass surveillance on American citizens.

18. Shard Building in London 🏙️

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

We see a tall building in the London skyline that resembles The Shard, which was completed in 2012.

19. Michelangelo’s David Censorship 🗿

Season 2, Episode 9 (“Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”)

The episode shows Springfieldians protesting against Michelangelo’s David being exhibited. In 2016, Russian campaigners did try to cover the statue.

20. Autocorrect Fail 📱

Season 6, Episode 8 (“Lisa on Ice”)

Dolph writes a memo that says “Beat up Martin” which gets autocorrected to “Eat up Martha.” Apple’s iPhone autocorrect has had many such hilarious fails.

It’s wild, right? How does a cartoon get so many things right? Well, it’s probably a mix of clever writing, sharp observation, and maybe a bit of that Springfield magic. ✨

And it's not just us hardcore fans who are intrigued. Thanks to the internet, more and more people are discovering the spooky accuracy of The Simpsons' predictions. Social media platforms are buzzing with theories and speculations. Reddit threads are filled with fans dissecting episodes, and YouTube is packed with videos analyzing every prediction. It's like a virtual treasure hunt where every frame might hold a secret clue to our future! 🔮

Some folks even believe that the writers have a time machine or some sort of psychic ability. While that’s probably a stretch, it’s fun to think about! One thing’s for sure – The Simpsons will keep surprising us with their uncanny knack for predicting the future.

Whether you’re a longtime fan or just curious about the show’s “psychic” tendencies, it’s clear that The Simpsons is more than just a TV show. It’s a pop culture phenomenon that continues to influence and amuse us, while also making us think twice about what might come next. So, next time you’re watching, pay close attention – you might just be getting a sneak peek into the future! 🕵️‍♂️✨

Stay curious, my friends! And remember, the truth is out there… or maybe just in the next episode of The Simpsons. 🌟🚀

[daitranscripts]

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Varric Masterpost

PC: Can I ask you something, Varric?

Varric: You want to talk about me? I’m flattered. Also, inclined toward extravagant lies.

1 - Dialogue options:

General: How do you know Cassandra? [2]

General: Where are you from? [3]

General: What do you do? [4]

General: Tell me about the crossbow. [5]

General: That’s all for now. [6]

2 - General: How do you know Cassandra? PC: How do you and Cassandra know each other? Varric: You heard about the Kirkwall chantry being destroyed? The guy responsible used to be a friend of mine. The Seeker had questions about that, and I had answers.

3 - General: Where are you from? PC: Are you from Ferelden? Orlais? Varric: Free Marches. Born and raised in Kirkwall. And despite whatever you’ve heard, no. Kirkwall’s not that bad.

4 - General: What do you do? PC: I’m not clear on your line of work. You’re a merchant? Varric: I’m a businessman. My family has a seat in the Dwarven Merchants Guild. Merchants buy and sell goods. Businessmen buy and sell stores. In my spare time, I manage a spy network. And occasionally, I write books.

7 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Could you do Leliana’s job? [8]

Investigate: What books do you write? [9]

Investigate: What shops do you own? [10]

[Back to 1]

8 - Investigate: Could you do Leliana’s job? PC: If you’ve run a spy network, why is Leliana our spymaster? Varric: To be honest with you, she’s just a better spymaster. The truly great ones can keep their distance. They don’t get attached to their people. Me? I always wind up babysitting my informants and worrying about their families. We’re in better hands with her.

9 - Investigate: What books do you write? PC: You’re an author? What kind of books have you written? Varric: I’ve tried my hand at a few genres. My crime serials are my most popular. Hard in Hightown. Guards breaking the rules to get things done. The Tale of the Champion is the most famous thing I’ve written. Or infamous, maybe.

Varric (before Guilty Pleasure): I started a romance serial once. Swords & Shields. But to be honest, I don’t have the knack for romances. Varric (after Guilty Pleasure): And, well, you already know about Swords & Shields. To be honest, it’s not a great serial. I don’t have the knack for romances.

Varric: Most of my stories end in tragedy. Probably that says something unfortunate about me personally.

10 - Investigate: What shops do you own? PC: What sort of shops do you own? Varric: Actually, we don’t own shops. That was just an example. Mostly, we invest in money lenders. Auction houses, a few mercenary companies, a couple of smithies. I think we own half a beet plantation in Rivain somewhere. Most of that’s my brother’s doing. Bartrand had business sense. Not much tact, but loads of business sense.

5 - General: Tell me about the crossbow. PC: Where did you get that crossbow? I’ve never seen one like it. Varric: Bianca? She’s one of a kind.

Varric: I won her from Paragon Smith Branka in a game of Wicked Grace. She was such a sore loser. Ran off to the Deep Roads in a huff, and that was the last anyone saw of her.

Varric: Funny story. I bought a salvaged ship and found her locked in a dragonbone-reinforced chest in the hold. I broke three dozen lockpicks and blunted nine saws opening that trunk, but it was worth it.

Varric: I got her off a guy in Darktown. Took me a week to pry his dead fingers off the stock.

Varric: There’s a hidden shop in Kirkwall called the Black Emporium. I found her in a barrel labeled “swag.” The owner sold her to me for a ham sandwich and a pair of yellow ruffled pants.

Dialogue options:

Investigate: Why “Bianca”? [11]

[Back to 1]

12 - Investigate: Why “Bianca”? PC: Who is she named for? Varric: I can’t tell you.

Dialogue options:

Investigate: Why not? [12]

[Back to 1]

12 - Investigate: Why not? PC: And the reason for that is… Varric: Complicated. It’s the one story I’ll never tell. We’ll just have to leave it at that.

6 - General: That’s all for now. PC: Thanks, Varric. Varric: No problem.

[monsterintheballroom]

Article under the cut :-)

Penelope Wilton: ‘My street cred went up when I did Shaun of the Dead’

Sat 20 Jul 2024 15.00 CEST

I had a ghastly time at school. I was dyslexic, which was seen as backward at the time. The only person who took any notice of me was a very nice poetry teacher. I was good at learning poems, so I went in for reading competitions. I remember my mother jumping out of the car when I was about 10, after I’d won a cup, and saying to my two ghastly headmistresses: “See, she’s got a cup. She’s not a dunce!”

My sister, Rosemary, was a producer and documentary maker. She got me my first job as an extra who had varicose veins. These very serious makeup ladies put spaghetti down the backs of my legs, but nobody seemed to be happy with that. I got chatting to a cleaner during a coffee break who had marvellous varicose veins. I went up to the director – things were much more hierarchical in the 1960s – and said: “I’m sorry my legs aren’t any good, but the cleaner’s legs are wonderful.” Actresses always had a reputation for being difficult. As you get older you realise why: because they often had to deal with very difficult men. Acting is collaborative. You have to get on with people, play to your strengths – and wait until you get home to moan. I once got lost on the way to the theatre – the worst thing ever. I was driving to the West End way before satnavs, ran into a diversion, and got completely lost in north London. I parked the car, summoned a lift from this charming man and said, “If you can take me to the Almeida, I’ll get you a seat.” And he did.

My walls are covered in paintings. I like to buy one when I do a job that pays well. I bought a very nice painting when I did Doctor Who and a very nice painting when I did the Marigold Hotel films. I can tell which job has paid for which painting.

Shaun of the Dead brought me to a younger generation. My daughter was about 19 or 20 when it came out and my street cred with her friends went up astronomically. Much more than when I was doing The Cherry Orchard. I don’t really know the perks of being a Dame. But I did once want an enormous amount of rubbish collected outside in the road where I live. You know, when there’s a little pile, people add more and eventually a Hoover was dumped. So I rang the council and said, “This is Dame Penelope Wilton. Could you please get rid of the rubbish in my road?” So I thought I was doing a thing for the community, not just for myself. Life is short. I try to enjoy everything: sitting in the park, looking at the trees, seeing friends and family. I’ve got two grandchildren, my daughter and my sister. I enjoy going to concerts. We’re just waiting to book the Proms, but you have to go online and there’s usually 15,000 people ahead of you. Maybe I should pull the Dame card.

[upthewitchypunx]

My birthday is next month. For the last few years I've bought myself no fun boring but important gifts; a new washing machine, a refrigerator, and this year looks like we are replacing our porch and hand rail up the steps. it needs it. Everyone thinks buying a house is all about getting to paint the rooms, but really it's about replacing your furnace the first winter or a water heater or a sewer line and it goes on and on and never stops.

In other news, my mugwort was trying to eat a foxglove I transplanted so I had to move the foxglove, I battled the porch wisteria yesterday and I won, and I'm battling slugs for my cucumber seedlings and we are at a draw, i found a small fern in my garden i thought had died, today is voting day so we need to fill our our ballots and drop the off and then get our craft beer reward for our civic.

Ian B cleaned up our basement a few months ago and emptied a bunch of junk into our back around our hops and old seating area. it's mostly 20+ years of old paint cans we never cleared out, My ex-husband had a problem with picking up any can of paint off the street or the bad mixes at stores. We can put them in the garbage when they are hardened so I'm slowly augmenting our garbage with cans of old paint. We decided to move the seating area to the back area by the potting bench...and the grove of cannabis plants we have here in our legal weed state. It's not my favorite smell, but it will be nice to eat outside again.

Oh, did I mention that last year we found a hop plant volunteer? Hops are apparently hard to germinate from seed and are usually done with rhizomes. the ones from seed are not the same where they came from so we have no idea what it will be so we have a new variety of hop. We transplanted to a better space over by the fence and hop lines. It was kind of a wreck and hard to transplant but it is shooting out new shoots now so we are really excited.

[divinekangaroo]

As much as I live for Tommy’s arc in S6, here are a few inconsistencies on the more political side which have constantly bothered me and research has not been able to reconcile. So if anyone has thoughts let me know!

If Mosley created the BUF shortly after his rally in S5, as he said he would in S5 (he gives Tommy a date early 1930), then Mosley couldn’t be sitting in the House of Commons in Parliament in S6 to watch Tommy. Because as a BUF party leader, he would have resigned Labour and therefore not been in the House unless re-elected to his seat running for the BUF. A possible solution is that he delayed creating his party and resigning Labour until just after his S6 E2 celebration (theoretically, he could announce the BUF’s formation and that party was his announcement, but wait to resign Labour until after marrying Diana) - but given how Tommy was sledged and challenged walking into Mosley’s celebration, and his response to the reporter, it appears that Mosley is already well entrenched as the BUF leader. So, ???????? The only logistical solution I can think of is that Mosley did start the BUF on his original S5 date, but actually won his seat back (which didn’t happen in the real world), putting him in place in Parliament to smirk at Tommy taking the floor and creating a heightened threat - because a fascist got elected.

The flow on issue to all of the above: if the BUF was formed in S5, what happened for four years to this plan for Tommy to come across to the BUF as deputy? Now, in S5 that plan had some weight to it because Tommy was still fairly junior as a minister, but Mosley repeats this plan in S6 as still a given—yet Tommy is Labour Party whip by now, which is a position of some standing and influence. Then there is how Tommys response to the reporter in S6 makes it clear he hasn’t been interacting much with Mosley-as-fascist. This one I can’t reconcile with canon (I have attempted to in fanfic).

Tommy’s housing bill, real world parallel the 1936 Social Housing Act? From what I can tell there’s three readings of a Bill. First reading introduces the Bill by title and intent: I think this is the scene we see where Tommy is personally sledged by other ministers but no one actually opposed the Bill to be tabled. Second reading is where the bill is read clause by clause. It’s a formality because all ministers receive the bill for detailed/reading and challenging but it has to be read at parliament for the record. Then there’s an actual committee formed of ministers to challenge, negotiate and reword the clauses word by word in order that they’ll actually approve to pass the motion. Then once everyone agrees, it goes to parliament for the Third and final reading and is in theory passed to become an Act (legislation). This process gets complicated if it’s a personal not party motion, but also gets complicated as a party motion because even in committee the shadow govn might still oppose the Bill at Third reading. So: let’s say we see Tommy at First reading early in S6, when he speaks to Diana late in S6 he still says he’s putting forward a Bill. That means he has yet to get to Third reading. So, how is it at all possible for him to promise to buy the land from her associates using Treasury bonds? Unless he personally bought up a massive amount of Treasury bonds and will buy the land personally (my theory) then make a huge donation to the government.

More an observation: given the length of time to get through committee and to Third reading, my assumption is that Tommy lived in London or at Arrow for several months after Lizzie left him (all the way to Nov to get close to armistice day?) in order to see through his Bill and put his affairs in order, given that Arrow’s demolition and his speech appears to indicate the Bill has been passed and the land can be used. Given we know Jack Nelson was in England for 14 days only, a lot of the questions about timing in S6 and how to get to Nov 11 Armistice Day can be answered by a many-month gap between Jack’s departure and Arrow House’s demolition. Of course, the question there is then, how is it possible Jack Nelson was just taking Michael’s death and the sale of the opium to Alfie without a worry? Hence Miquelon probably happens after the Bill is passed and very close to Arrow House’s demo and Tommy’s ‘disappearance’ - no ability for Jack to take revenge on him personally, and I’d guess Alfie would be doing something in America to avoid repercussions against Tommy’s family and kin.

So the final scene in the House of Commons where Diana walks in as Mosley’s ‘elected representative’ (this fucking show XD), Tommy thought he would be meeting Mosley. Yet his reason for that meeting was to leverage Diana and her associates for the land purchases. He even has a list prepared, which means he didn’t change his intent when it wasn’t Mosley that showed — and yet, the land purchase was an arc unrelated to Mosley because he doesn’t have Diana’s contacts. So my theory was, Tommy really was intending to tell Mosley ‘hey pass this message on to your girlfriend for me and be sure to make it happen because she refused to give me a commitment last time I asked’. (And possibly because at that point, he was too terrified and too enraged and too ashamed to make any effort to contact Diana again.) what i continue to question in this scene is, if Diana and Mosley agreed Diana would come in Mosley’s stead, why Mosley decided to show up anyway: did they plan the sex-offer-and-reject scene to further muck with Tommy, or did Diana not actually come in Mosley’s stead and so Mosley simply walked in to that scene unexpected and decided to leverage it with a dig at both of them, not just Tommy.

—-

item 1 gives me the most grief; I’ve rewatched those scenes trying to work out what happened but seem to be missing something pertinent to make Mosley’s continued presence in parliament yet as publicly known leader of the fascists make sense.

[aajjks]

get your popcorn and tissues ready 🍿⚠️⚠️⚠️

mommy issues!JK

“um, i guess we can get something to eat” you shrug “you shouldn’t make ramyeon in those nice clothes” but jungkook argues that he doesn’t care what he’s wearing. you’ve cooked for him before and he’d love to cook for you but you’re insistent on him cooking in his armani suit.

so instead of cooking, he decides to buy you and himself a smoothie with a wrap of your choosing before finally arriving to your apartment.

once you unlock your apartment, jungkook allows you to walk in first before closing the door behind himself. the first thing he notices is your pink and yellow lava lamp sitting on your coffee table and the bouquet of flowers he bought for you.

“need me to get you anything? my bathroom is down the hall to the left and you already know where my kitchen is. i’ll be right back, okay? make yourself comfortable!” you say as you hurry to your bedroom and look for two things: a picture and your medallion. once you’ve finally found them, you return back to your living to find jungkook sitting down on your couch but without his gray suit coat on.

you take a seat next to him and hand him the two items so he could look at them. while he does that you take a deep breath ‘here goes nothing.’

“so that’s my family. that’s me, my mom, my dad, and my older sister soo-min. this medal, is my first of many first place medals i’ve won in figure skating competitions. i competed nationally too but it wasn’t easy. i started figure skating when i was four but it wasn’t because i had a choice. min didn’t want to do gymnastics so i switched with her and did figure skating but it wasn’t…easy”

“my parents were really abusive growing up. they favored soo-min over me because she had a lot more trophies than i did. if i…if i didn’t get first place, my father would tell me to take my shirt off and he’d..he’d burn me for it. see?”

you turn around and show jungkook the cigarette burns littered all across your back. when you turn to face him again, he can even see some on your neck and collarbone area, they’re faded but they’re still there. he wonders how many times…

“my mother didn’t really do anything. she just said not to say anything about it, so i never did. figure skating, school, my parents, it was all getting to me. my anxiety and stress was high, i started losing weight and my hair so i cut it. i feel in love with this girl on my team, her name was avery. she was really sweet and was my first love but she cheated on me with my sister. my recent and last relationship was with this guy named ji-cheol. we dated for 3 years but he was really abusive”

you can feel tears welling up in your eyes as you tell jungkook that you’ve never been loved. and if you were ever loved, no one has ever showed you that they did. their version of loving you was by hurting you and in response, you became very very defensive and scared.

“no one has ever loved me, jungkook. nobody. you have a kid and friends that love you but me? i don’t have anybody. everyone that’s ever been in my life has hurt me and i don’t…i can’t get hurt again. i became a teacher because i wanted to give kids the love i never got when i was their age”

there it is, the truth. you can’t believe you told jungkook allllll of that but you kind of feel a little better because you’ve never told anyone about it. you’ve kept it to yourself for a very long time and you’re sure that jungkook will probably avoid you because it’s a lot.

you take your hand and wipe your tears away but more just keep falling and falling. it’s the first time you’ve let someone other than alina see you like this. you’re a mess, a complete mess with scars that a kiss can’t fix.

is jungkook sure this is the woman he really wants to be with?

~🫧

He listens to everything that you say, and he cannot bring it in himself to touch his food because of the way you start to cry and the way your voice breaks in between, and you try to keep your composure you really are because you hiccup and your shoulders shake.

He needs to keep his composure in front of you, but when you show him those cigarette burns he actually chokes up because he’s a smoker too and he’s not sure if he can smoke in front of you without triggering You.,

How did he not notice these marks on your body before because this dress is quite revealing, and he had no idea that you had an older sister just like him and two parents that maybe are dead now because they deserve to die.

Especially your father.

Jungkook doesn’t look into your eyes it’s a lot to take in and he feels so ashamed that you had the worst parents in the world growing up,

And he realizes that now that he’s always seen you with golden tinted glasses, you’ve always been more than perfect to him, and he didn’t think that you’d have such a huge baggage on your tiny shoulders.

He seethes when you tell him about what your sister did to you and how she stole your first love away from you- imagine being cheated on and because of your own sibling- imagine having a boyfriend that was physically emotionally abusive to you.

Wow.

He folds his arms and he blinks twice, because-he cannot see you cry like this you don’t deserve this much pain-at least not this much pain to deal with it yourself all alone

He’s not sure if you have told this all to someone else, and he just thinks that you’re so strong. “Y-Yn…” he whispers out, and he cannot help at scoot closer to you, so he can hug you.

Gently. he wraps his arms around your shoulders and makes sure that your head is on his so you can really cry on his shoulder. “I..I just want to say that you’re so strong.”

It’s time that he shares something similar with you. “Yknow the way I hate Nara so much? It’s because she was also physically violent with me during the course of our relationship.”

One day when he will takeoff his shirt, he’ll show you the scars, but not right now. “ I…. Her anger was always too much for me to deal with. And when she was frustrated, she took out her frustrations on me, in every single way you can imagine…. Why do you think I am so uncomfortable around women?”

You’re the first woman he feels so comfortable with because you’ve got this kindness in your eyes and it’s not lust that you see him with

He couldn’t defend himself against her, but just like you told him that your mother advised you to keep shut about the abuse your father was putting you through, his father told him the same thing. 

They are rich they are so powerful too, but he doesn’t understand why he tolerated her and her family? “ I’m sorry I’m not making this about myself but I’m just sharing a similar traumatic experience that I was put through 19 till 21.”

Because at 21 his son was born, and he escaped.

Jungkook rubs your shoulders as you cry and cry, and your noises are so hard to hear because he feels so murderous right now. “Y-Yn if I could kill your father and your boyfriend, I would.. if you don’t mind me asking, which one of your parents are alive and where is your sister? And when was the last time you saw your ex?”

He might’ve just said something about killing your father right in front of you, but you have to understand where he is coming from, and he would do it in a heartbeat

They have hurt you so much

“I..I just want you to allow yourself to love and I want to love you I want to worship the ground you walk on and I think I already do that because I just can’t”

“you are just too easy to love yn.” Finally confesses, and he says it in such a tender tone.

“and you know why I’m in such a hurry to be with you? Because I’m scared that someone else will also fall in love with you and take you away…. So please, can you just give me one chance to prove myself?”

He has opened his heart to you, and he’s willing to kiss all of your scars away if you will let him.

And maybe you can heal his remaining scars too.. there are still a few things that you don’t know about his relationship with Nara… but he’ll tell you those some other day.

She’s a person who treated him like her most prized possession rather than a person, that’s why, even though he’s so obsessed with you, he doesn’t have it in himself to force you to love him.

Because he knows how that feels

“Yn… can you please eat? Can I feed you? I…I think that I just fell in love with you even more.”

He hopes that you’ll see the sincerity in his eyes this time, because he feels so happy that you opened up to him, and he swears to God that he will protect you forever from those who have hurt you.

And he will hurt them back in the worst way possible.

[seitmai]

A lot of thoughts about our fav Dilf and Milf🤭

"Isn't it kind of Jake's first Father's Day, too?" you countered with a grin. When Cat sputtered instead of actually answering, you felt like you'd won this wrong of proverbial chess against a master. "It's okay... you don't have to admit it out loud, but I just know Jake is exceeding all of your expectations."

She is teasing Cat who actually knows that she's right 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just me and Jer. And then when he went away to college, I was going to start collecting exotic pets or something."

Sounds like a plan haha

You tried not to laugh. "Yeah, Jake kind of ruined that agenda for you, huh?" She buried her face in her hands, and to your surprise, she started crying. You glanced around the lab, but Macy wasn't paying any attention as you put your arm around Cat's shoulders. You were very confused as you whispered, "Are you okay?" Cat's dark eyes were wet with tears as she met your gaze while somehow shaking her head and nodding at the same time. Her voice was raspy and uneven as she said, "He bought an engagement ring." "Jake proposed?" you gasped, ready to jump out of your seat. You knew for a fact he wanted to, but he kept saying he didn't think the time was exactly right yet.  "No. I found the ring. He's terrible at hiding things."

First of all I just wanna give Cat a big hug and assure her that she deserves this 🥺

Second: Jake get your act together lmao

You're tenacious and strong, and that's worth a lot more than money. You're the kind of person someone would want to buy a big diamond for.

I'm so glad BG sent the message to remind Cat of her worth 🥹🫶🏻

"Ten minutes ago? No wonder I was getting so lonely," he whispered, reaching out to run his finger along the back of Rose's hand. "Hey, Nugget."

10 minutes?! Too long for Rooster

You handed Rose, who was already dressed in her sleeper, to him, kissing him on the cheek as you stood. "Should I just keep these out for you?" The way you gestured at your breasts left a smile on his face. "Please. I would very much enjoy it if you did."

Of course he would lmao

When he set her gently in her crib, Bradley whispered, "I can't believe I get to be your dad."

"I wanted to surprise you," he murmured, wrapping his left arm around your waist. "I've been waiting to do this since you told me you were pregnant." You buried your face against his chest and let yourself cry. "Shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I was golfing. I panicked when they called me back and said they could fit me in this morning. I just really wanted to get my second paper plane as soon as possible."

Omg Rooster is so me getting a new tattoo while I still lived with my parents lol, my go to instead of golfing tho was hanging out at my best friends place, because she would also back up this in case they asked (they never did, I'm just paranoid lol)

"Are we going to our wedding venue?" he asked after a few minutes, and you started laughing. "Is that what we're calling the parking lot?"

I mean obviously 💁🏻‍♀️

"Aww, Daddy's sorry," he said, lifting her up and flying her around in the air like a plane to get her to calm down. "I'll take you to Virginia Beach where the water is warmer," he promised. "And we can go to the cemetery and visit Grampy Goose and Grandma Carole. How does that sound?" His daughter looked much happier at the prospect of warmer water and more time with grandparents. Even though Bradley was here with his family, he couldn't help but think about everything he missed out on. Everything he was still missing out on. 

🥺🥺🥺

The story was fun, and the drawings were silly, and he just knew Rose would probably adore this book when she got a little bit older. And he was so lucky he had a wife who did things like turn him into a cartoon superhero for Father's Day and make him a four course picnic lunch.

What a fun gift idea 🥰

Aim for the Sky Part 22 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: After weeks of looking forward to a quiet day with you and Rose, Bradley almost messes up his own Father's Day celebration. He's lucky you're quick to forgive him. Every day with his daughter is a collection of moments he wants to commit to memory. Every day with you makes him fall more in love.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, lactation kink, blowjob, DILF Roo

Length: 3800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

"Do you have any big plans for Sunday? For Bradley's first Father's Day?"

You looked up from your computer when you realized Cat was talking to you. Truthfully, you did have plans, but they weren't big at all. Your husband just kept telling you that all he wanted was to spend the day with just the three of you.

"Isn't it kind of Jake's first Father's Day, too?" you countered with a grin. When Cat sputtered instead of actually answering, you felt like you'd won this wrong of proverbial chess against a master. "It's okay... you don't have to admit it out loud, but I just know Jake is exceeding all of your expectations."

She dropped down into the seat next to you and leaned in like she was afraid someone else might be listening. "He took Jer to the park with Bradley and Rose the other evening."

"I know," you replied with a laugh. "I needed to clean my house, so I kicked Bradley out and told him to call his bestie, Jake."

Cat looked a little panicked now. "No, you don't understand. I can trust him to take care of Jeremiah."

"Yeah... that's good, right?"

"I don't know!" she hissed. "When I moved to California, it was my intention to never ever get involved with a man again. Just me and Jer. And then when he went away to college, I was going to start collecting exotic pets or something."

You tried not to laugh. "Yeah, Jake kind of ruined that agenda for you, huh?" She buried her face in her hands, and to your surprise, she started crying. You glanced around the lab, but Macy wasn't paying any attention as you put your arm around Cat's shoulders. You were very confused as you whispered, "Are you okay?"

Cat's dark eyes were wet with tears as she met your gaze while somehow shaking her head and nodding at the same time. Her voice was raspy and uneven as she said, "He bought an engagement ring."

"Jake proposed?" you gasped, ready to jump out of your seat. You knew for a fact he wanted to, but he kept saying he didn't think the time was exactly right yet. 

"No. I found the ring. He's terrible at hiding things."

You sat quietly for a minute while she worked at getting herself under control, but then more questions started to formulate in your mind. "I know this isn't where you saw yourself, Cat. I know trusting Jake after leaving your ex is something you've struggled with, but if you love him, then what's holding you back?"

Her fingertips were pressed to her lips, and her hand was shaking. You weren't sure she had even heard your question as she stared off into space and said, "I can't even accurately describe it, because it was so pretty. The diamond was huge. Absolutely enormous. Obviously expensive." She paused and pulled away from you, opening her computer like she didn't just let herself fall apart on your shoulder. "And I have nothing to offer except a child that isn't biologically his and a crippling amount of debt that I'll probably never see the end of." When you opened your mouth to respond, she slammed her computer shut again and said, "And now I'm late to meet with Bickel," before rushing out of the lab.

You stared at the door for a few seconds before you took your phone out and started to draft up a text for Cat. You didn't see her again for the rest of the day, and you didn't send the text until you got home with Bradley and Rose. But you meant every word of it.

You're tenacious and strong, and that's worth a lot more than money. You're the kind of person someone would want to buy a big diamond for.

------------------------------

"Why is everything so expensive?" Bradley muttered to himself. "Holy hell."

He was trying to plan out the few days he would have alone with you when your parents came out again for Independence Day. Going back to the oceanfront boutique hotel in La Jolla where you and he had celebrated his birthday two years ago was going to cost a fortune over the holiday.

"Rose isn't going to need money for college anyway," he mused, shrugging at his phone before charging the room to his credit card for three nights. His daughter was going to be a genius. She was already so strong, trying her best to roll over and getting better at holding her head up without support. Suddenly he needed to see her.

Bradley tossed his phone aside and headed for the nursery where you were feeding Rose in the glider chair. When you looked up at him expectantly, he said, "I missed you."

Your gaze was soft as he sat down on the floor next to your feet. "We were with you ten minutes ago."

"Ten minutes ago? No wonder I was getting so lonely," he whispered, reaching out to run his finger along the back of Rose's hand. "Hey, Nugget."

She paused, lips pursed, before she continued eating. It was unreal how adorable she was. Bradley could look at his daughter all day long and never grow tired. He could look at your tits dripping milk all day long, too.

"Let me burp her," he said, making grabby hands as soon as she started to slow down. "It's my favorite."

You handed Rose, who was already dressed in her sleeper, to him, kissing him on the cheek as you stood. "Should I just keep these out for you?" The way you gestured at your breasts left a smile on his face.

"Please. I would very much enjoy it if you did."

You stretched your arms over your head and said, "I'll meet you either in the shower or in bed." Then you were gone, and he was excited to burp the baby and then do whatever you let him do to you.

"Let's see if we can get a nice, big burp out of you so you'll sleep for a few hours," he muttered, pulling one of the many storybooks down from the shelf from his spot on the floor. He'd read every book in the room to her multiple times already, and he couldn't wait until she started to have favorites. Tonight he read about a dragon while he patted and rubbed her back, pausing every page or two to kiss her soft cheek.

She was yawning by the last page of the book, and she did indeed burp for him. When he set her gently in her crib, Bradley whispered, "I can't believe I get to be your dad." He stood there, leaning on the side of the crib until he was certain she was asleep, then he headed for his own bedroom, unzipping his pants along the way.

Bradley found you naked in bed, fresh from the shower and rubbing lotion all over your legs. It was such a mundane yet intimate thing for him to watch, and you didn't realize he was in the doorway yet. "Get in bed," you told Tramp, nodding toward the fluffy mat he slept on next to the bathroom door. "You can't play with Rosie any more tonight. I'm sorry, but she needs to go to sleep after Daddy finishes reading to her."

"I'm finished reading to her."

Your gaze met his as your palms went gliding up your thighs, and you smiled a little shyly at him. Then you reached for the sheet like you were going to try to cover yourself, and he headed for the bed.

"Please don't, Baby Girl," he whispered. "I was really enjoying that view."

You paused and let your eyes drift down his body. "Get undressed and come here."

He did not need you to ask him twice. Bradley yanked his jeans off and tossed them aside followed by his tee shirt and his boxer briefs. You giggled when he climbed into bed in just his socks and hovered above you like he was going to do push ups with his hands planted next to your shoulders.

When he lowered himself down to give you a kiss, you raked your fingers through his hair. He knew there was no hiding how hard he was getting, so he didn't bother. He just pressed himself against you while you licked his bottom lip.

"You're really horny, Roo," you murmured, and he simply nodded. You let one hand drift down along his scarred cheek, and then you were touching your tits. 

He was salivating immediately. He could practically smell you. White beads of your milk formed on your nipples as you gently squeezed yourself, and he whimpered your name. His cock was tapping against your thigh in excitement as he lowered himself down to kiss your lips again.

"It's okay," you whispered. "I know you want to. Go ahead."

Bradley sighed and came to rest on his elbows, letting his mouth meet your nipples.

-------------------------------

You spent all day Saturday running to three different grocery stores to buy ingredients for Bradley's Father's Day picnic lunch. It cost a small fortune to get everything you needed to make chicken salad sandwiches on homemade bread, a charcuterie board, fruit salad, and brownies. Your plan was to get up very early on Sunday to start making everything, but now Bradley's words made you feel like you were going to cry.

"I'm playing golf in the morning."

He was so nonchalant about it, you thought perhaps he was joking at first. But his expression showed a tiny bit of alarm and remorse, and you knew he was actually ditching you and Rose on Father's Day.

When you spoke, you hated how small your voice sounded. "You said all you wanted was a day with just the three of us."

"I do!" he insisted, reaching for you and pulling you close. "That's all I want. I promise I'll be home by lunchtime."

With that, you excused yourself to go to bed. You didn't bother to set an alarm, because what was the point? Rose would wake you up when she started crying her lungs out to eat, and Bradley would already be gone with Jake, Javy and Reuben. Honestly, you would have thought Jake would want to be home with Cat and Jer, and now you were mad at him, too. You thought about texting him but turned your phone screen side down on your nightstand and tossed your glasses aside instead.

A few minutes later, Bradley climbed in bed as well, and you could feel him trying to coax you closer. "I love you," he whispered, but you stayed curled up in a ball until you fell asleep.

Sure enough, he was gone when you woke up. You didn't even bother changing out of your pajamas to feed Rose. Your plans to wear a cute sundress seemed pointless now as you tried to appease your cranky daughter while you made chicken salad and baked a small loaf of bread.

"You'd probably calm down if your dad were here," you mused, handing her toy after toy only for her to push them all away. Finally Tramp had mercy on you and plopped down next to her on her play mat for a few minutes.

Of course the picnic foods looked absolutely perfect, and you struggled to get Rose burped and down for a late morning nap. "I swear you don't act like this for him," you groaned, fighting the urge to start crying. You'd been feeling better over the past few weeks. Your body was becoming more your own again, even though you were still sharing it with your daughter. The birth control and the healing time were certainly helping, but right now, you and Rose came in second place to a round of golf. On Father's Day.

She spit up all over you before she fell asleep, forcing you to change into your dress anyway. The wrapped present on the coffee table along with the homemade card were enough to make you set a timer for noon. If he wasn't back, you were going to eat the meal yourself. Your stomach was already growling.

But Bradley came through the door at 11:58 wearing gym shorts and a tank top with his aviators low on his nose. "Sweetheart," he said, sounding a little bit out of breath as he headed your way. "You look pretty."

Did he think you were stupid? You got up from the couch and turned off the timer. "Where were you, Bradley? Because you weren't playing golf dressed like that."

His cheeks flushed pink at the same time you noticed something wrapped around his right bicep. When he held his arm out to his side, you gasped.

"Why didn't you just tell me that's where you were going?" you whispered, tears burning your eyes. You felt frustrated and embarrassed that you got upset in the first place.

"I wanted to surprise you," he murmured, wrapping his left arm around your waist. "I've been waiting to do this since you told me you were pregnant." You buried your face against his chest and let yourself cry. "Shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I was golfing. I panicked when they called me back and said they could fit me in this morning. I just really wanted to get my second paper plane as soon as possible."

He held you tight with both arms wrapped around you. "You said you just wanted a day with your girls, and I planned a picnic and got you a present, and then you said you wanted to fucking play golf," you sobbed. "Next time just tell me you're getting another tattoo, okay? Because now when you say you're going golfing, I'm going to think you're getting another one anyway."

"Hey," Bradley rasped, tilting your chin so you were looking up at him. "I'm spending the rest of today with my girls. That really is all I wanted to do today. I'm sorry I lied to you. I feel terrible about it now." His brown eyes were sincere which made you feel a lot better, and now you weren't mad at Jake anymore.

"Can I see it?" you whispered, and he immediately started to unwrap his arm. Right there next to the large paper airplane that had Baby Girl written across it was a smaller one that said Rose in the same script. "God, Roo. It's perfect."

"Just like my girls."

----------------------------

Okay, so he came within an inch of completely fucking things up on Father's Day. It wasn't like he planned it that way. He wasn't even sure why he said he was going to play golf. None of his friends would even make a tee time on Father's Day and include him. Or Jake for that matter. Plus, Bradley was fucking terrible at lying. He felt apprehensive the entire time he was getting the tattoo done.

It didn't even really matter if you knew about it ahead of time, but he wanted it to be a surprise declaration of his love for his family. Instead he made you stress out and cry, because of course you had a whole fucking day planned. You loved him that much.

He was right there with you and Rose for the rest of the afternoon. He changed her diapers and helped you pack up the food along with a bottle of pink champagne that was tucked way back behind everything else in the refrigerator. He carried everything out to the Bronco and got both of you buckled in. Then he started driving where you told him to.

"Are we going to our wedding venue?" he asked after a few minutes, and you started laughing.

"Is that what we're calling the parking lot?"

"Sweetheart. That's our wedding venue." Rose hadn't been to that beach yet, and now he was excited. So excited. "Rosie, we're going to show you where Mommy first kissed me and fell so in love that she's incapable of being mad at me even though I didn't tell her I was going to get tattooed this morning."

Now you were laughing harder, and you turned his playlist up a little louder, and the sun felt a little brighter. When he pulled into the parking lot, he backed into the spot where you became his wife, and then he strapped Rose into her baby carrier against his chest.

Bradley watched you pull Rosie's little sun hat out of the diaper bag, and you kissed her nose before putting it on her head. "Don't want you to get too much sun." Then you led the way down the rocky path to the sand below where you spread out a beach blanket. You tugged Bradley's hand until he was on his knees, and then you kissed his nose as well. "Don't want you getting too much sun either."

When he remembered the sunburn he got the day of Mickey's birthday kegger, he shuddered, but you were already squeezing some sunblock onto your hands and smoothing it along his face. You smiled when you got some in his mustache, and Bradley leaned closer to kiss you, and then he didn't want to stop. You ended up on your back on the blanket with sunblock on your nose while Bradley cradled Rose's head.

"Happy first Father's Day," you whispered, running your fingers up inside his sleeve to touch the wrapping around his bicep. "Rose is lucky you're her daddy."

The lunch you made was absolutely perfect. Bradley couldn't remember ever having homemade bread before, and he ate two sandwiches in a row. You and he drank the champagne from the bottle on the blanket before walking down to the water. Your tipsy giggles as he dipped Rose's toes in the water made him smile.

"She hates it!" you cackled when Rose pulled her legs up and wailed. Bradley lowered her down again when the next wave came in, and she pulled her feet away from the water once again.

"Aww, Daddy's sorry," he said, lifting her up and flying her around in the air like a plane to get her to calm down. "I'll take you to Virginia Beach where the water is warmer," he promised. "And we can go to the cemetery and visit Grampy Goose and Grandma Carole. How does that sound?"

His daughter looked much happier at the prospect of warmer water and more time with grandparents. Even though Bradley was here with his family, he couldn't help but think about everything he missed out on. Everything he was still missing out on. 

He never had a dad to fly him around or dip his toes in the water, at least not that he could remember. All he could recall were glimpses of laughter and being lifted out of his crib. He could almost hear a voice, but he wasn't sure if it was even Nick's or if his memory was playing a trick on him.

Bradley held onto Rose a little tighter as you let your head rest on his shoulder. Your voice was soft, barely loud enough for him to hear you over the waves. "I wish I could have met them. I wish they were here to see you with Rose."

He knew one thing for a fact. "They would have loved this little Nugget."

----------------------------

Quite effortlessly, Bradley led you back up the rocks while he carried Rose and all the gear. As soon as the sun started to set, the wind picked up and the air got chilly. Even though you nursed Rose, you knew she was going to need to eat again so she could fall asleep.

"Oh, you still have to unwrap your present," you told Bradley when you got home and walked past the living room table.

"Right now?" he asked with a smirk.

"If you want to."

He started to take your shirt off, and you ducked out of his grasp with a laugh. "Not me!"

"I don't want anything else though," he rasped, still reaching for you, but you pushed him toward Rose on her play mat instead.

"She needs a quick bath while you open your present, and then I'll give you a blowjob after she's in her crib."

"Hell yes," Bradley muttered, scooping up the baby and the wrapped gift and heading for the bathroom. You filled up Rosie's little tub, and he set her down in the water then started unwrapping the present but keeping his attention mostly on his daughter. 

"Do you like it?" you asked over your shoulder, and then he realized he was holding a book. A book about him and you and Rose and Tramp.

Bradley flipped through the pages, staring in awe at the cartoon versions of his family. Each of you had been drawn as a superhero, and even the sketched version of Tramp was wearing a little red cape.

"This is the cutest thing I have ever seen. How did you get this?"

"I had it made," you told him. "I sent photos of all of us to a local artist, and she created the book for you."

"Damn," he whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked at each page again. "I'm such a sappy mess now, I swear." Then he sat down on the floor next to you while you rinsed the sand from Rose's tiny feet and started to read the book out loud. "Once upon a time, the Super Bradshaw Family was just about to eat dinner when Super Dad Bradley's phone rang. The city of San Diego needed help, and there was nobody better to turn to."

The story was fun, and the drawings were silly, and he just knew Rose would probably adore this book when she got a little bit older. And he was so lucky he had a wife who did things like turn him into a cartoon superhero for Father's Day and make him a four course picnic lunch.

He also had a wife who dropped to her knees as soon as they were alone. You looked up at him as you pulled his shorts and underwear down to his thighs, kissing his cock as you whispered, "There's my Super Daddy Bradley."

He grinned as he pulled his shirt off as well, enjoying how pretty you looked below his flat abs with your hand cupping his balls. "You absolutely own me, Baby Girl. I'm a fucking wreck for you. I'm all tattooed for my girls now. If you want me to be your Super Daddy, you know I will be."

You licked your lips and parted them, and then Bradley was in heaven.

---------------------------------

I need Jer to have a dad. I need it in my bones. I also need Bradley to have a sensational 38th birthday before he packs his bags and goes to La Jolla with his wife for three days in bed. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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[twosidesofkeithmoon]

The Great Concert Masterlist

AKA - all the shows I've been to! Under a cut because it's LONG

Roger Waters - Us + Them Tour, 2017

[Setlist] This was my first real concert; I was 16, and my only prior experience was a Beatles tribute band when I was maybe 9 or 10. As a promotion for the album Is This The Life We Really Want? it included several tracks I hadn't heard before and many I had. All in all, it was an amazing concert, and I definitely cried.

Roger Daltrey - Tommy Tour, 2018

[Setlist] Oh boy, I was DEEP into my (first) Who phase when I went to this one. He played the entirety of Tommy (one of my favorite albums, of course) and he was absolutely excellent. Super high energy, I had a great time. There was a raffle to benefit the Teen Cancer Trust which I entered - my raffle ticket was just 4 off! If you won, you got a signed poster :) I also bought his most recent solo album on CD.

Arcade Fire - Everything Now Continued, 2018

[Setlist] Gonna be real with you - I had never heard of Arcade Fire before I saw them. It was a very spur of the moment "hey, we have an extra ticket, wanna come see a concert tonight" sort of thing, and I don't regret it in the slightest. We had really good seats, and I got to fistbump the bassist and one of the lead vocalists as the band walked down to the stage.

Nick Mason's Saucerful of Secrets - North American Tour, 2019

[Setlist] This was an early birthday/graduation gift to myself - I can remember buying the floor seat tickets as soon as they went on sale... While I was in class. I absolutely cried during the show; not only was it my favorite member of the band, but he played music from my favorite era of the band. Some guy who sat behind me tried to buy me booze, but when I told him I was 17 he kind of died lol

The Who - Moving On! Tour, 2019

[Setlist] So if I cried during Nick Mason, I sobbed during this one. This show acted as a graduation gift from my mom and we had fantastic seats (not floor seats, but definitely still very good). Naturally, Tommy and Quadrophenia were the main bookends of the show but I was pleasantly delighted to hear Tea and Theatre from Endless Wire. I also got to watch a very drunk man get hauled off during Who Are You and broke down when they showed Keith on screen </3

Toto - 40 Trips Around The Sun Tour, 2019

[Setlist] Another spur of the moment show, it was a nice time to see my family right after I had moved up to college. This show marked my first time gambling at a casino, getting sexually harassed at a show, and my last show before Covid-19. Regardless, I had a great time!

Roger Waters - This Is Not a Drill Tour, 2022

[Setlist] Man, going almost three years between shows sucks balls. This was SUPER last minute - I think I bought my tickets two hours before the show. I knew he was going to tour again, but Covid pushed things back; I knew I needed to see him again. I was FLOORED that he played ANYTHING from Radio KAOS and Amused to Death, I kind of lost my shit there for a minute. The in-the-round stage design was super cool. I would absolutely see him a third time.

Streetlight Manifesto - The Calm Before The Chaos Tour, 2022

[Setlist] Ah, baby's first ska show. Had to brave some of the worst driving to make it down (thankfully the roads cleared up by the time we drove home) and got to hear one of my now-favorite bands as the opener (Catbite). I did not enter the pit as I am very much not built for any sort of pit, but I did my best to skank (a very poor attempt).

Less Than Jake - Return to Rockview Tour, 2024

[No Setlist] So this show. Wow. Okay. Awesome venue, playing through the entirety of my favorite album from them. I met up with someone who would become one of my very good friends, and we had a great time talking music! The two openers - Strung Out and The Raging Nathans - aren't really my speed, but it was great to support some smaller acts. The show itself was cut short during one of the final choruses of the final song as someone in the audience had a medical emergency and unfortunately passed. It was heartbreaking, but the band dedicated the remaining shows on the tour to him.

[nel-world]

standup

There are few things that bring my father as much joy as clearance sales.

It's not so much the food that my dad loves at Denny's—he only knows three flavors anyway: salt, butter, and A-1 Steak Sauce. No, what he adores is the simplicity, the straightforwardness of the entire Denny's experience, especially the menu.

“You don’t even have to read anything,” he’d say. “You look at the pictures of the food, you pick what you want, and you point.” And that’s precisely what he does. We'd settle at a table in Denny's, he'd crack open the menu to a Moons Over My Hammy or whatever caught his fancy, and he'd point. “I want that.” Not a word more, not a word less. It's the perfect restaurant routine.

we bought couch

So, off we went, driving at a snail's pace—twenty miles per hour in a forty-five-mile-per-hour zone. The officer followed my dad quietly for a few miles before my father suddenly pulled over, even though the officer hadn't signaled with lights or sirens. I followed suit.

After the officer wrote us both tickets for having unsafe loads, he warned us not to drive with the furniture again or risk getting more tickets. Stuck on the side of the road, my dad asked if I knew anyone with a truck. That was like asking if I knew anyone at all.

offer to buy one and get the other for half price , my father was first in line.

his ability to consume knew no bounds.his favorite was chocolate pean with extra sprinkles

when i orderd plan old chocolate icecream , he took it as an insult

they have thirty two flavors andu order chocaloate

u can get chocolate anywhere , why did we come to america

we didnt sacrifice everything come to here so u could be satisfied with plain old chocolate ice cream

i just want medium soda

get the large

u get extra large for thirty nine cents more

America was Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and he was a ten-year-old who had won a golden ticket.

Let me tell you what is really embarrassing,” he continued. “Having only one pair of shoes, that’s embarrassing. Having to study for your exams under a street lamp because you don’t have your own room, that’s embarrassing. Hanging off the side of a train on your way to work because it’s so crowded and you can’t afford a seat, that’s embarrassing.”

Yellow highlight | Page: 57

“When will you become an American?” he continued. “Okay, pour the extra thirty-nine cents-worth into a cup and I will drink it later.”

I don’t know where my dad learns how to hail strangers, but whenever he needs directions—which is often—he flags down men and women alike with the same greeting: “Hey, bud!” I grew up thinking of all Americans as Bud—and even though my dad’s name is Ghassan Saleh Abu-Jaber, he became the original Bud. I learned early: We were Arab at home and American on the streets. The streets were where Bud spoke English in a loud voice, swaggered, and wore hard-soled shoes.

Bud is a great talker in our family of mostly listeners. He’d soliloquize about the Arab-Israeli conflict, free will versus destiny, and the meaning of the universe. He'd tell endless jokes and stories starring his favorite Arab character—Jeha the joker.

One day, Bud announced he found the perfect restaurant to buy. “Excellent location, good foot traffic, loyal clientele,” he’d say. The current owner was selling because he and his wife—the head chef—were divorcing. Bud was ecstatic, describing his dream: “I’ll be in back, creating! You and your sisters will be out front, taking orders and making the customers happy.” He sat back, studying the ceiling. “It’s going to be running together like this—”

According to Bud, this restaurant would be a Shangri-la, healing the old wound between East and West. All languages would be spoken, all religions honored, and the food would be pure and true. He’d say, “You see this bamia?” holding up a chunk of okra stewed in tomato. “Americans are nervous with bamia because they fear the slime. You know how to take away the slime?” We shook our heads. “You have to boil it good first and then fry it! Sometimes you reverse it. How many people know that?” We marveled. “When we get our restaurant,” he’d say, “it will be full of secrets like this.”

There were weeks and months of debates, schemes, and outlines. The phone rang at all hours. You never knew when you’d lift the receiver to the hiss of the overseas connection. Incredibly, Bud’s relatives were convinced by his plan. Several even promised to buy shares in the place. After much negotiation, they agreed on a signing date.

To celebrate the night before signing the lease, Bud prepared a grand dinner starring a golden chicken msukhan. This traditional Palestinian dish, with chicken nearly poached in olive oil, turned its flesh soft and amber. “Do you see this chicken, girls?” he’d ask as we broke off tender bites. “Do you know what it’s saying to us?” No, what, Dad? “It’s saying, ‘I am more delicious than anything. People will come from everywhere to taste me. I am the queen of all!’” He’d sigh and gaze fondly at the queen.

[jrpneblog]

What`s another year!

So as we put 2023-24 to bed, we reflect on a campaign that saw us four points clear at the top after seven games and dreaming of the promised land. However, the joy was short lived as results began to fade and after beating Birmingham at home on 19th September we won just four of the next twenty two league games before beating Ipswich on the 3rd of February at Deepdale. It was a shocking sequence of results and to go almost half a season winning just four games would have been way too much for plenty of owners. North End saw fit to retain the services of Ryan Lowe and the Ipswich win was the start of a five game run which saw us win four and draw one. We were, once again, incredibly, on the brink of the play offs but a draw at home against Hull was the start of a final twelve game run in that saw North End take just eleven points from the thirty six on offer which is relegation form in anyone`s book. We won three, drew two and lost seven of those final twelve games including losing the last five games on the trot. In those two runs of twenty two and twelve games we won just seven out of thirty four which is an appalling return. I know people will say we finished tenth on one of the bottom six budgets but if money were all that were needed in football then why would clubs bother employing a coach. Ipswich have spent just 4.2m and look where they will be starting next season!

I wanted a change after the defeat to QPR in December as I had seen more than enough of the brand by then. Lowe bought himself some time with the results in February and hopes were raised as we clung on to the tails of the play offs. However it is much more than the brand on the pitch that made up my mind about the manager. The comments about fans and badges was the end for me, for in what other business would a company slag off or disrepect the opinion of it`s customers? The fan base is undoubtedly split on Lowe but I talk to many people and I would say that at least two out of three of the fans would like a change in the hot seat. The manager has calmed down a little since those appalling comments in December, no doubt some sage advice coming from above as to his future conduct and comments in the media, but he still has rather an annoying habit of throwing his charges under the bus in his post match comments.

Anyway, enough about the manager as thoughts move to next season. With Millar and Browne gone North End need to strengthen and if Lowe insists on playing the wing back system then he needs to buy two wing backs. No doubt there will be a good take up on season cards once again as North End have a very loyal fan base in spite of everything. 63 years without kicking a ball in the top flight is an appalling record and while the current owners have little to do with the first fifty years of that it is worth mentioning that North End had four Championship play off campaigns between 2001-2009 and have had none since. No doubt people can make their own mind up about that stat. My fear for next season is that the club have put all their eggs in one basket with the manager and if we get off to a poor start then the club will have nowhere to go with most of the fan base saying I told you so. However, we all hope that scenario does not happen and that the close season investment is wise and appropriate. We could possibly have new owners by then, who knows, and things may look very different. I have no doubt that the Hemmings family will sell for around the 40-45m mark, to the right investors, but sometimes with new owners you have to be careful what you wish for. For now we can only wait and see how things evolve between now and August 10th, but the club feels stale at the moment and something must be done before the new campaign begins to freshen things up.

And finally this week:- whilst waiting to get off a very slow moving car park at West Brom last Saturday I had the pleasure of bumping into Nick Scholes and his good lady wife. For those who don`t know Mr and Mrs Scholes have given immeasurable support to the youth set up at Preston North End over many, many years. Nick was very proud as he told me that the youth team had won the Alliance league last Saturday morning, therefore completing the league and cup double this season. There are many unsung heroes at football clubs up and down the land and if we had a competition for the PNE unsung hero then my vote would, undoubtedly, go to Mr and Mrs Scholes for their enourmous contribution to the Youth set up at Deepdale. Thanks Nick, and it was a pleasure, as usual, to meet you and your good lady again last Saturday.

[theopenbookwigtown]

Day 3: A Speaking Engagement and Tea Cakes

Visitors: 107 Books Found: 18 (3 fiction) Total Tally: 49 pounds

Another magical day in Wigtown. Foot traffic was slow to start. We shelved the books that Ruth from the bookshop next door had given us yesterday. Michael had time to replace the “boring” Scotland general window display that was in the far window when we came, with something he thought people might like. The Horses display, with the quote “Horses lend us the wings we lack.” Pam Brown, 1928. Yesterday a girl had asked for a horse book, but today no equestrians came in.

I fancied up the secret brown-wrapped books with lovely brown twine, and added a few for “foodies”. To the “how to” display I added “Shark Drunk: The Art of Catching a Large Shark from a Tiny Rubber Dingy”. Inside the shop, I was tickled pink to find a copy of the original “Colour Me Beautiful” by Carole Jackson circa 1980s. I remember attending home-parties based on her seasonal palette (for clothes and makeup). I was a Spring, Michael a Winter. This fashion theory is having a retro moment (along with Barbie).

Around noon things picked up. We sold 3 secret books, and I was thrilled to see a book I had pulled out and highlighted on the animal shelf “A Lion Called Christian” was bought by someone who’d also seen the documentary about the domesticated and then returned to the wild lion.

It was hard to lock up at 1:45 to walk down to The Smiddy, so I went alone and Michael joined me after he’d made some sales. We had been invited to have tea with the members of the Wigtown and District October Club, which started meeting there in May 2005. The ladies (it’s a mixed club but no men attended) have speakers in, and meet for cards and conversation and tea. They wanted to hear how we ended up at the Open Book. I told them about my love of reading, my first fav books being Heidi and Little Women, and then how I became a writer of short stories (Canadians love that format – I mean our Alice Munro won the Nobel for her short stories!) It was hard for me to understand all of them, and I know I was bastardizing their names in my Canadian accent (Marilyn, Cathy). I learned about a game called Beetle Drive and Marilyn gave me the rules and a few score sheets. They politely listened to me read my short creative non-fiction story Treachery published online in Gastropoda in July, 2022. Michael came and we got prizes in the raffle – I got Tea Cakes (traded with Cathy for the Licorice All Sorts) and Michael a jar of honey from The Isle of Colonsay. They sympathized with the effort of driving on the left, and taught us that a garage sale (where I buy many old books) is called a “car boot sale”.

We met Ben Please, a famous Book Shop musician and invited him to the author reading on Friday night. He suggested we make it later than 4 pm and have free red wine if we want Shaun B. to come. We popped into The Bookstore on our way back from The Smiddy (it was drizzling rain) to meet Shaun, get a signed copy of his new book and invite him to read. He was standing barefoot at the counter signing his books. He may not be able to come, but I told him we’d change the time to suit. So, fingers crossed.

The open Scrabble game was popular today and a crying wee little one played havoc with it. To Michael’s delight, it ended her tears completely. At the end of the day, a woman asked if we had a copy of The Kon-Tiki Expedition, published in English in 1950 by Thor Heyerdahl. After she left the store, I found a copy in the Travel section. Michael tried to find her, but she was gone.

We continue to enjoy fresh baked croissants from Co-op and from the reading window seat in the flat, we like watching people double park in front of it. How they leave the flashers on and the door open rather than park up the road. Today a double-parker’s car alarm was so loud we closed the shop door. Michael plays jazz funk music in the shop and I change it to classical music whenever I can.