#i woke up at 6:45 and could not fall asleep
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Man i love weekends when I can sleep in. What I would love more would be actually sleeping in sometime
#i woke up at 6:45 and could not fall asleep#also i lost the ring i bought a week ago while walking home yesterday and im so so sad
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amongst all the horrors. at least there is packige
#i am so tired#i dreamed i worked in a church#and then three guys chased me with guns#freaked me out so hard i woke up at 6 am and could fall back asleep for 45 minutes#anyway#packige in mail#tomorrow !#ramblings of a henry
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Hi Sun, could I please request some Alejandro whump headcanons? How does this man react to being taken care of? I love your writing 💜
CW: Sickness, Injuries, Canon-Typical Violence thank youuu anon!!! also sorry for the wait😭😅 I did ramble a bit, so sorry if it doesn't make sense or things get repeated Also I wrote this at 2 veeeery different times so sorry again😭 as always, no beta read, and feel free to ask for clarification on anything :))
My dude is man-cold kinda guy It has nothing to do with the fact that he doesn’t know how to ask for affection and you always cuddle with him when he’s sick
But only for unimportant things. A cold or a sprained ankle?
He's dying, needing you to cater to his every need
But if he's seriously sick or injured he will push himself till he passes out
You have threatened to tie him down if he does not obey his medical leave
Case in point:
He had some lung issues after pulling Rudy from the fire during the whole Hassan fiasco
He got pneumonia because he didn’t rest and exposed himself to cold, wet environments
Oh and he had fracturedbruised ribs from his time with teh Shadows
Of course he didn’t go to the doctor, and you were out of town and couldn't force him to
You walked in on him coughing so hard he couldn't breathe
Blood was splattered on the floor as the coughing aggravated his ribs which aggravated his lungs which made him cough and then it'd start all over
You watched in horror as he choked, as he tried to inhale something other than his saliva
The 12 minutes and 47 seconds it took for Rudy to get to your house were the longest of your life
He was confused when he woke up in the hospital two days later, until he saw you sitting next to his bed, your hand in his, head lolled to the side as you slept.
You gave him a reaming of a life time
"Do you not care Alejo? About yourself? About Rudy? About me? Do you not care what we would feel if you died because you're too Godsdammed stubborn to ask for help? You made this-"
"Ay Cariño, you are beautiful when you cry."
"Don't try to flirt you're way out of this Vargas, I am so worriedmad at you right now."
"I am sorry Amo-"
"Don't do this again Alejo,. I don't think I could handle walking in to find you...because you didn't take care of yourself, okay?"
He hit a wall at that point in your tirade, and you could see it
You climbed into the bed with, curled up so your head was on his chest and fell asleep, the first peaceful night you'd had since coming home and finding him
Things were different after that
It was slow going, but you could see him making an effort to tell you when things were bothering him, to not deflect his emotions and issues
You make him chicken noodle soup when he's sick
And then you'll climb in bed with him and watch Disney movies until he falls asleep
You don't kiss him when he's sick because, ew, germs
But you'll cuddle and run your fingers through his hair
Your dialogue when he's actually hurt vs. when he's exaggerating is drastically different
"Sick" days look like: "Ay, you'll feel better baby." "You're no' gonna die, it's just a sprained ankle." "Do not kiss me Alejo." "Yes baby, we can watch a movie."
Sick sick days look like: "Alejandro sit your ass down!" "Do not make me call Rudy over here." "What do you think you're doing? Alejandro!" "Alejo, baby, why won't you let me help you?"
He got sick 2 weeks after you moved in with him
Like really, actually, sick(he had the flu)
Your first clue something was wrong was when you woke before him
The man had woken up at 6:45 am on the dot your whole relationship, so you knew something was up.
The heat you could feel radiating under the covers was the second
You were fully prepared for over-dramatic, whiny, clinginess, just like he'd acted when he got the cold a couple of months ago
So you were surprised when he got out of bed and started getting ready for work
Your third clue something was up was the fact that he didn't notice you watching him lean against the door for support as he pulled his pants on
"Alejo?" He spun around to face you, honest to god swaying on his feet
"Alejo, baby, you can't go to work like that."
"Like what?" His voice had just the slightest quaver to it
You looked his flushes face, his trembling hands, the way he was leaning against the door and sighed
The only reason you even got him back to bed was because he had the day off, he had just wanted to train
It hurt a little, how he didn't ask you for anything. He didn't beg you to cuddle or hold him, in fact it didn't seem like he wanted you there at all
Not because he wasn't being loving or because you felt unwanted
But because you knew it came from a childhood of misplaced trust and neglect.
He made it clear he didn't want to be touched, but you still hesitantly placed your hand on his forehead to check his temperature
The way he pressed into your palm and the small, shuddering sigh he gave broke your heart.
In the end you had Rudy pull him from the schedule, and spent the next week curled up with him in bed
You got into a very heated argument on day 3, which ended with you in tears and him coughing so hard he can't breathe
When you stayed with him, rubbing his back even after everything, things got better
He still doesn't like being a burden, but it's a start
He didn't/doesn't like your desire to care for him, not because he didn’t want it, but because he didn't know what to do with it/doesn't understand it
He’s spent his whole life in a warzone. He’s never had the opportunity/ability to sit back and let someone take care of him.
It wasn't that people didn't love him as a child, but in-between the drug-trades, gang fights, the cartels push for power and the subsequent war launched by the government, the struggle to survive outweighed any of his problems.
"Alejandro, we can't afford a doctors visit right now, you'll just have to drink some water." "Ay mijo, you have to be more careful, I can't afford the hospital bill to fix your arm, we'll just have to wrap it up at home." "Alejandro I already told you, we can't make it to the ceremony." "I can't, we can't, you can't..."
He’s used to patching himself up, used to people not having time or resources to care when he’s injured. It why he over plays the little things, because he didn't worry anyone when or take up precious time when his ailments could be fixed with a band-aid
His family was too busy making sure they survived to give him the attention a child required. It's why him and Rudy are such good friends.
They spent more time with each other than with their own flesh and blood.
My man does not like being open, and Valeria's betray
He deflects, much in the same way he did as a kid, by overplaying the little things so no one notices the big things.
For the longest time you had to have Rudy text you when Alejandro got injured, because he wouldn't tell you
Anyways hope you enjoyed my rambling!! I tried out a new format so lmk how you like it! Oh and reqs are open :3
#cod fanfic#cod#alejandro vargas#whump#alejandro whump#I rambled#sorry#los vaqueros#no beta we die like men#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#angst#i dont know#i don't even know if this stuff makes sense#but enjoy#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#asdfghjk#i dislocated my shoulder#and now my arm is hurtinggg#and my head#Alejandro headcanons#cod headcanons#in character headcanons
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Just a Cold
Lady Lesso x Sick! Teacher! F!Reader
A/N: School has been keeping me very busy and I've wanted to finsih this fic for some time now but my finals are in like 4ish weeks so we shall see if I post anything before that!
Warnings: mentions of vomiting, fainting and just being sick in general
Words: 1147
You woke up in a cold sweat, your throat sore and the ache in your stomach growing. Laying in your bed looking up at the canopy above it. You had classes to teach and papers to grade, you couldn’t afford to be sick. Glancing out the window the moon was still high in the sky, thinking you could sleep it off. You turned onto your side to face the door.
You shut your eyes and you didn’t get much sleep before you were running towards the bathroom and throwing up in the toilet. You turned the sink on and rinsed out your mouth. When you looked into the mirror you saw what you looked like. You were paler than usual and the bags under your eyes had grown.
Walking out of the bathroom, you walked back over towards your bed holding your stomach. You threw yourself onto it and managed to fall asleep.
You woke again when the sun was just barely coming up. You rolled out of bed not feeling any different than the night before. You sat up and immediately the room started to spin and you suddenly became all too aware of how sick you felt. You stumbled out of bed unsure of how you were going to make it through the day.
You made your way to the bathroom, the room still slightly spinning. When you reached the bathroom, you leaned on the sink and tried to steady your breathing. You turned the sink on with shaky hands and splashed your face with cold water. You took a deep breath and looked at yourself in the mirror.
You're okay (Y/N). You’ll be fine.
You pushed off the sink and went to get ready for the day. While walking over to your wardrobe you stumbled and barely managed to catch yourself on one of the bedposts. You did manage to get dressed albeit with some difficulty.
You only taught classes in the afternoon, so you had plenty of time to make your way to your classroom and try to get some work done. You sat on your bed for a minute before gathering yourself.
You felt somewhat better, or that’s what you kept telling yourself. You walked past a few groups of students on your way to your classroom. It seemed like no one noticed anything, so you were relieved. You had a few hours to yourself before lunch which made you relax a little bit.
You reached your classroom and when you closed the door behind you and leaned against the door reaching your hand up to your forehead feeling the sweat that had accumulated on the short walk to your classroom.
You took a few deep breaths and pushed off the door walking over to your desk at the front of the room. You looked up at the clock you kept above the door, 6:54. You had plenty of time to grade some papers and plan a lesson for your classes that afternoon.
You sat at your desk going through the papers sighing at some of the answers that were given. You turned over the last paper and put it in the pile of papers you would pass back at the beginning of class. You put your hands up to your face feeling a headache coming on.
You pushed yourself back letting the wooden chair roll back with you. You stretched your arms up and looked up at the clock. 7:45 breakfast would be in about 15 minutes. You stood from the chair and felt the room spin. You gripped the edge of your desk, trying to steady yourself.
Once the room had stopped spinning, you started for the door of your classroom but the world around you started to grow hazy and you had barely reached the center of the room before everything went black.
______________________
The teachers were slowly filling into the dinning hall with the students. Lesso sat down next to Clarissa, her eyes looking over the crowd trying to spot you, but you never came into the dining hall.
The Evil Dean had started to grow fond of you since the schools combined. Maybe she just overslept. Lesso furrowed her eyebrows, you never overslept. You always stick to your schedule.
Everytime someone entered the dining hall, Lesso’s eye’s shot up, but it was never you. She started to grow impatient with how long breakfast was taking. She stood from the table abruptly, startling Clarissa and the other teachers around her.
Lesso left the dining hall and made her way to your sleeping quarters.
She knocked on the door and waited for a few moments before she walked in. She checked your room but you were nowhere to be seen. The only place you could be was in your classroom.
______________________
Lesso stood at your classroom door, she was nervous and she didn’t know why. She knocked on the wooden door, but no answer came. Lesso opened the door, her eyes immediately falling on your unconscious body.
She rushed over to your side taking you into her arms. She was frantic, she ran her fingers through your hair moving it off your face in a panic.
She brushed your cheek and automatically pulled her hand away, you were burning up. You were sick and you still tried to come do your job. You stirred and when you opened your eyes you were met with the Evil Deans worried eyes.
“You’re sick. Care to tell me why you even bothered to get out of bed?” Lesso gently sat you letting you lean against her.
“No, No I’m not sick. It’s just a cold.” You said, your voice coming out tired.
“No, it’s not ‘just a cold’,” Lesso mocked you, concern lacing her voice. “ You are burning up and I found you unconscious on your classroom floor. You need rest.” She put her hand up to your cheek finally realizing how hot you were.
“Come on Princess,” Lesso put one of her arms under your legs and the other on your lower back lifting you up. “I’m taking you back to your room. I’ll talk to Clarissa about finding someone to cover our classes.”
“Our classes?” You questioned the woman now carrying you to your room as you rested your head on her shoulder.
“I’m going to take care of you until you get better.” Lesso said, as she glanced down the hall. She wanted to save you the embarrassment of being seen by students.
“Thank you, -” You glance up at her, you only knew her as Lesso.
“Leonora. My name is Leonora.” You barely hear her whisper it out.
“Thank you Nora,” You said, letting your eyes close.
Lesso smiled at the nickname you had just given her. She was fond of someone once, what could be the harm of being fond of someone who was good.
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Hands to Myself | Part 3
Plot: A few months have passed and none of your friends have suspected a thing about you and Harrison. Out of the blue he surprises you with a trip to the Greek island of Skopelos, the same island where the movie Mamma Mia was filmed. Alone time on an island far away from home will only fuel the fire of your relationship.
Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader
Warnings: swearing, smut
Masterlist
* * * * *
“Seriously?!” I asked excitedly
“Yes babe, seriously, we’re going to Greece” he said smiling at me.
“When?” I asked
“We leave in 12 hours” he said chuckling at my excitement.
I smiled wide and jumped into his arms to hug him. He hugged me back “just the two of us, on an island far away from home, for two weeks”
I kissed his cheek “we should get packed” I said
He nodded “we should get some sleep too, we have an early flight”
“You gonna be able to keep your hands off me tonight?” I asked giggling
“I’ll try to behave” he said smirking.
We went into the bedroom and started to get some things around. In the past month, I had secretly moved into Harrison’s flat. I already spent so much time here anyway that moving in just made sense.
As we packed, I could feel that all too familiar urge pulling me towards Harrison. I wanted so badly to kiss him right now, but we needed to pack and at least attempt to get some sleep. I shook off the feelings and continued with my bags, reminding myself that I had two carefree weeks with him on a warm Mediterranean island.
After packing we had a quick dinner and promptly went to bed. As usual I kissed him goodnight, but had a hard time pulling myself away from his lips.
“Babe we need to sleep” he said chuckling against my lips.
“Just a few more minutes” I said giggling
“Fine” he said smirking against my lips, before kissing me back.
I smirked and kissed him deeply, climbing on top of him so I was straddling his torso. I could tell he was getting a bit turned on because he practically melted underneath me, cupping my face in his hands as he kissed me passionately. I was a bit turned on as well, but I knew we had to get some sleep.
I pulled away after a few more minutes and laid back down beside him. He pulled me closer to him, the two of us drifting off to sleep.
• • • • •
The next morning the alarm went off at 5:30am. We got dressed and loaded our bags into the car. We drive to the airport and went through the tedious process of checking our bags in and going through security. Eventually our 6:30am flight was ready to board. We had a 4 hour flight and a 45 minute ferry ride ahead of us before finally arriving in paradise for two weeks.
Once the flight had taken off I cuddled into Harrison’s side as we watched a movie on my phone. Even though I’d slept all night I was still pretty tired and ended up falling asleep. I woke up a few hours later to realize we’d be landing soon. I smiled excitedly looking out the window as we landed.
After getting off the plane and getting our bags we caught a cab to the nearest port and got on a ferry to take us to the island. I held onto Harrison’s hand as the ocean air blew around us on the boat ride. I could see the island in the distance and started to get even more excited.
Once we arrived on the island we grabbed our bags and boarded a Jeep, the driver taking us to the bungalow that Harrison has booked for us to stay in. It was amazing! It had a balcony that overlooked the ocean, a large king sized bed, and was in close proximity to the beach and other fun places to explore.
“Oh my god I can’t believe we’re staying here for 2 weeks!” I said excitedly as I looked out over the ocean.
“You like it?” I heard Harrison ask, smiling as he walked outside to see me
“I love it” I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him softly.
He kissed back for a few minutes before pulling away. “Would you like to get some lunch and head down to the beach?” He asked.
“Yes!” I said smiling.
“I figured you’d want food before doing anything” he said chuckling and taking my hand. We went down into the town and chose a small cafe near our bungalow.
We ordered some gyros and iced tea, eating outside on the patio to take in the sites. The town was small and cute, but with lots to do. The streets were bustling with people going to the shops and site-seeing.
After we finished eating we left a nice tip for our waitress then walked back to the bungalow to get ready to go to the beach.
I put on one of my new bikinis then went back to the bedroom to look for my sandals. Harrison walked into the room as I was I sliding my flip flops on and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Baby?”
“Yeah?” I asked, looking up at him.
He smirked at me “you look really hot in that bikini”
I smiled “thank you”
“You ready to go for a swim?” He asked kissing my cheek.
I nodded and grabbed his hand. The beach wasn’t very busy, but we were on a resort, so this plot of beach wasn’t open to the public, just the people staying at the local bungalows.
The water was super clear and blue and just the right temperature. I waded out into the shallow water, up to my hips and looked out at the sailboats in the distance.
I looked over at Harrison who seemed to be more interested in looking at me than the boats.
“Enjoying the view?” I asked teasingly.
“Definitely” he said chuckling, walking closer to me.
I splashed him playfully when he got close enough to me.
“Oh I see how it’s gonna be” he said laughing and splashing me back.
I squealed and we continued to splash each other until I realized he had gotten close enough for me to feel the heat from his skin. I looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss me.
I kissed back, knowing all too well that he was just doing this as a distraction. Soon enough, almost as soon as I predicted it, he picked me up and dragged me out into deeper water.
I couldn’t help but giggle a bit. He was significantly taller than me so even though the water was up to his shoulders, I wouldn’t be able to stand with my head above water. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my forehead to his.
“You’re all mine for 2 weeks” he whispered
“I’m always yours” I said giggling
“True, but here we don’t have yo worry about getting caught, nobody knows us here”
I smiled “that is true”
“Which mean we can do this whenever we want…” he whispered before kissing me softly.
I smiled and kissed him back tangling my fingers in his wet hair. The kids got deeper and the all too familiar feeling of butterflies in my stomach hit me like a truck. I moaned softly, but loud enough for him to hear.
“Let’s go back to the room…” he whispered against my lips.
I bit my lip “I want you so bad”
With that he carried me into to shallower water and put me back down. He put his arm around me leading me back towards to the bungalow.
As soon as we ascended the stairs and got inside his lips were back on mine, his hands grabbing onto whatever they could get ahold of.
I pulled off his swim trunks as he untied my bikini top and the sides of my bikini bottoms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he pinned me to the wall, kissing my neck.
I moaned softly, slowly reaching down and taking his semi-hard member in my hand, rubbing it slowly.
“Fuck babe” he groaned as he kissed down to my breasts, taking one in his mouth. I rubbed him harder and he groaned against my chest. I continued rubbing him faster, feeling him getting harder in my hand.
After a few minutes he picked me up and pinned me to the bed. I watched as he lined himself up to my center and slid in. We both moaned at the sudden contact with each other.
He started thrusting slowly at first but my small moans drove him crazy. He started going faster and deeper, which drove both of us insane.
“Fuck, Harrison! It feels so good!” I moaned
“Mm, you’re so tight!”
I moaned loudly, wanting more. More of his hands, more of his moans, more of his dirty words.
“Tell me about your fantasies” I breathed out “tell me about all the things you’ve ever wanted to do with me but never have”
He groaned, most likely thinking about it. “I’ve always wanted to fuck you in a public place” he groaned, thrusting deep. “The fear of getting caught is hot”
I moaned, thinking about it “we should do that while we’re here, sneak off into a quite alley”
“Ugh, babe, don’t tease me with that thought”
“I’m not teasing, I want to do it” I whispered in his ear.
“Fuck” he groaned.
I could tell it pushing him over the edge. His thrusts got deeper and harder, causing me to moans loudly. I was seeing stars.
“Babe, don’t stop” I said almost to my breaking point.
He continued going and I could tell he was close. We were both covered in sweat, panting and moaning each other’s names, so loudly the people in the nearby bungalows could probably hear. I figured they’d better get used to it, we were here for two weeks and couldn’t keep our hands off each other. In fact, I could tell that this wouldn’t be the only time we’d end up having sex today.
“Baby! I’m there!” He groaned, seconds before I felt his hot load dumping inside me.
“Harrison!” I moaned loudly, hitting my climax seconds later.
We both laid there panting, trying to catch our breath. I looked up at him and he smiled, kissing me softly. I kissed back, running my hands through his still damp hair.
“Shit, I love you” he said softly.
I smiled “I love you too”
It wasn’t the first time we had told each other that. We said it quite often actually, but whether or not those words held any truth was still a mystery to both of us. We did love each other, but in what way we were still unsure, but I had a fairly good idea of how I was feeling.
He played with my hair, running his fingers through it. “I’m glad I met you. You make me happier than anyone ever has”
I blushed “before I met you, I was lonely, pretending to be content with my life”
“Me too. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”
I bit my lip “do you really love me?” I asked
“Of course I do”
“For real?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you love me, or are you in love with me?”
“At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you” He said, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.
I blushed and smiled “really?”
“Do you love me?” He asked
“Yes, and I’m falling deeper everyday” I said cupping his cheeks in my hands.
He smiled wide and kissed me passionately. We didn’t need to speak anymore words at this point. We both knew where this was headed and there was no turning back now.
* * * * *
To be continued…
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THURSDAY THORNS AND THISTLES
The pug has trouble climbing up the back steps thank to her arthritis, though it looks like the glucosamine is beginning to help after several months. Last night I bent over to help her ascend, and that was a mistake.
My back ached and I was having trouble catching my breath and I had to sit down. I just put it off to being an out-of-shape old man. I fell asleep in the recliner (as usual), then moved to the bed at 1 AM. At two the back was hurting so bad that I moved back to the recliner, turned on the heat and massager, and fell asleep again.
At four I woke up again and the back felt better. I stumbled to bed, noticing that Morning Mark would have some pug poop to clean up. It took a bit to fall asleep again. I woke up at 6:45, telling myself just ten more minutes and then I'd get up. That ten minutes took an hour.
Morning Mark got up and discovered that the pile of pug poop had more than doubled in size and he spent a good chunk of the morning scrubbing floors before he could even have coffee. There's also a load of laundry going with rags, rugs, and piddle pads getting refreshed for the next go round.
The back is feeling okay at the moment but I'm being cautious with it. The pug gets scooped up and carried inside like a football instead of bending over and lifting her up each step like I did last night.
I was grouchy this morning thanks to the trouble sleeping and the mile long path of pug poop to clean (did I mention she has to pee and poop while she's walking?) but I made sure I didn't take it out on her. I took it out on Lulu instead.
HA! Just kidding. I took it out on the neighbor's kittens.
I love you, baby. Thank you for being a bright ray of sunshine. MWAH!
Y'all have a great day.
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My past couple of hours:
12 am: I tried to go to sleep but the insomnia kicked my ass.
2: 45 am: Finally managed to fall asleep.
5:20 am: Woke up covered in blood.
5:30: Crawled to the bathroom to survey the damage. Before I could do that I had to lay on the bathroom floor for 10 minutes cause I thought I was gonna puke. I had worn a heavy duty sleep pad to bed. I'm talking the full 5 levels were marked off on the box. It was supposed to last for at least 8 hours. I had completely bled through it in 4. I'm talking it was entirely soaked through with not a speck of white left over. That is over 80 milliliters, or 1/3 of a cup of blood. In 4 hours. The average person loses 2-3 tbsp of blood during their entire period. The average person with PCOS loses 1/3 of a cup during their entire period. I just lost all of that in 4 hours.
6:10 am: Crawled back to my room, into bed, then cried. I was unable to fall asleep.
6:50 am: My alarm went off and I gave up. Crawled back to the bathroom to discover I had completely bled through my tampon in 40 minutes.
7:50: Arrived at school.
12:16: lunch time. I feel like I'm dying.
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20 questions for fic authors
i saw ur tag in the morning when i woke up nessa and then i completely forgot. BUT THANK U FOR THINKING OF ME!!!! i don't really want to tag anyone bc its a bit scary. but eros and duo if u see this... perhaps this might interest u to do it
1. How many fics do you have on ao3?
46 ! and maybe like 20 which existed on ao3 at some point but got deleted by oj for one reason or another.
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
96 365... the oj does not write long things
3. What fandoms do you write for?
mostly project moon these days. and mostly limbus bc (inferno pink grabs me by the throat)
if i didnt feel like it was pointless id probably write for a larger variety of stuff bc the oj brain is full of self insert stuff. but it doesnt rly matter
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
the wine on your skin (137) gonna shrimp myself over that one bc it was my first and probably shittiest smut. but its smut in a large fandom (fire emblem) so it attracted people i guess
yeah dante's fine. what do you mean they're at -45 sanity you're lying (132) IM GLAD PEOPLE LIKED THAT ONE it was a lot of fun. and nice people cared about a dante centric fic with abnos:) (but also still mad as hell over that thing with the guy taking one of the concepts and clearly saying it was from another fic while categorically refusing to actually name it lol)
do NOT wake the manager up. YES they fell asleep on the job but they're REAL comfy right now do NOT disturb them (117) i can't tell if people get attracted by the funny titles or bc they see there are more characters besides faust and dante. bc i know people are NOT coming for them.
i'll always be there (104) a short manuleth fic... im glad there are manuleth likers out there. that professor loves that doctor ok
and they'll fall in love with her again and again (88) people liked the exploration of IDs... its kinda debunked now but it was still fun
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I USUALLY DO unless i find the comment weird. but if its rly weird i usually straight up delete it lol but otherwise i reply to comment if only to thank people for taking the time to leave one. its a tough world out there for attention starved writer
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
id argue the angstiest i have is one of my deleted ones where i straight up killed a char and the fic was all about everyone else's grief it was depressing lol otherwise theres the obvious silver snow edeleth angst but its kinda whatever. the backward clock chapter of the dante abnos fic was rly good imo. the nothing there one too. the inferno pink confession fic too.... ough...
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
SCORCHED GIRL & ANGELA FIC GOT ME FUCKED UP MAN. FOUND FAMILY BETWEEN THE FUCKED UP LITTLE GIRL AND THE ANDROID
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nah. thank god i dont i think id nuke my ao3 on the spot i already explode over weird comment
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i smack my faust and dante dolls together
i used the be rly scared of smut now im a free little oj. it gets horny sometimes but also im rly vanilla so its usually very sweet.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i dont. i should sometime though.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW I THINK ID NEVER WRITE AGAIN OTHERWISE
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nay
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no and i dont think i could oj needs to write her thing in peace. art&fic stuff are rly fun though.. oj likes when duo art inspires her or oj text inspires duo...
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
ALL TIME IS A TOUGHIE the ships come and go guys cmon. rn inferno pink is all the rage though. and me with all the ladies i like
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
funnily enough i dont rly have wips bc i only start things when im REALLY motivated and i usually dont write things long enough that id drop them mid way. so none
16. What's your writing strengths?
being straight to the point maybe. idk. i mean my whole style is about short sentences and descriptions and just giving enough to get the feelings and vibes and idk. like i dont spend a paragraph talking about the weather thats not my style.
i like to think im good at sounding like chars too. if its the chars i like at least. or i hope at least. maybe its all in my head.
17. What's your writing weaknesses?
im rly bad at writing things that require more description... stuff that i cant just move on from or write by sprinkling lil actions between dialogues... like say. a fight scene. im rly bad at it
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i mean if the char actually speaks in another language usually and mixes it with the translated language or whatever sure. itd make sense i have no issue with it
19. First fandom you wrote for?
long ago i wrote stuff for shin megami tensei 4. but i think even before that i wrote lil danganronpa drabbles that never got posted anywhere. also technically i wrote a story about vocaloids for an english assignment in middle school. does that count
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
idk if its a favorite but im like. rly fond of "hello doctor, it's me again. i missed you." bc its the fic i probably put the most effort in. longest and multi chapters and like. id started writing it two years prior to when i finished it and id written like. a chapter and a half on paper during breaks in college and never did anything with it. and two years later when i was sorting my stuff i had these papers and wanted to throw them away so i was like ill type this out on puter at least before that. and then i ended up motivating myself to finish it and i was rly proud of it... oj is still rly sad it didnt get that much attention in the end.
otherwise oj rly likes her angela & abno fics:) shes happy with them. and also stuff ive written for duo! i think its cute and i had a lot of fun with them
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My sleep schedule is whack. I was scheduled to work Sunday through Tuesday, 7am to 3pm. But on Saturday night, I’m awoken by a call asking if I can come in earlier. “Sure, when?” I automatically respond. “4 AM.”
Because I’d been woken up by the call, I didn’t have the presence of mind to say no. Out of anxiety, I woke up at 2:45 and couldn’t fall back asleep. I went in at 4 and helped with a single patient for three hours, moistening her mouth and reading Scriptures and talking to her as she slept. Then I did my regular 8 hour shift.
Sadly, during my regular shift, the woman I sat with passed on. (We’re grateful that it was in her sleep, and that her sister was in the room with her.) One patient saw the police cars parked outside and could not rest until he had learned why they were there. His behavior started to disturb the other patients, so I privately told him what had happened. But at that point, the death had become public knowledge. I work in a nursing facility and patients have passed on here. But we try to break the news to other patients who knew those people individually. I almost got in trouble for telling this guy about it. They thought I had spread the rumor, when it was him spreading the rumor before I got to him.
Anyway, I was able to stay awake until 6 PM Sunday night. Then I slept until 1 AM Monday morning, and couldn’t fall back asleep. I did my regular shift, but with less energy than usual. And then I got home, and instead of a short nap, I slept until 7 pm, when I woke up, and could not fall back asleep.
And now it’s 1 AM again.
#personal#pers com#I'm going to try and sleep once more#because I do not want today to be a repeat of yesterday#morning shifts are so tiring guys they are so non-stop I don't even have time to log what I'm doing until the end of the shift#not so on the evening and night shifts#everything did get done but not as efficiently as usual
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28/12/22- (11/100)
Another slow day. I woke around 6, after which i did 4 hours of chemistry and then went off to give my chemistry exam (41/45). I had a 3 hour chemistry class after that. I came home and did around 1.5 hours of bio and knocked out.
Altho my days aren’t NOT productive, i feel like i could be doing more? And i keep falling asleep thinking ill wake up after taking a nap which i NEVER do. i wake up the next morning and just feel bad.
c’mon athena. let’s do better.
#100 days of productivity#100 days of studying#100dop#studyblr#100 day challenge#studyspo#study blog#100 day project#study hard#student life#study space#studyhard#studyinspo#its been a little bit of a rough few days#had to say good bye to a hest friebd who’s leaving the country for higher studies#and since i dont have a lot of time right now i feel very guilty that im not able to spend so much time now#i know she feels upset about it too#lil nas x#sun goes down
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Beauty and the Beast AU 6
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:13 PM
From one of the windows in the library, he could see that not all vegetation outside the villa was dead: There was a glass dome outside where he could see plants were growing.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:18 PM
Oh that was interesting!
He sneaked out (not sure why he keept sneaking, probabily habit) and walked toward the glass dome
"Its kinda like a greenhouse.."
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:21 PM
it sure is. and look! the master bedroom has excellent view on it!
someone's sitting on the windowsill, looking lost and not entirely caring if he would accidentally fall down.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:32 PM
Nara at first was more focused on the plants, it was so nice to see such vivid plants in the middle of the winter!
He grabbed a couple of flowers and braided it into a flower crown, giggling to himself, geez, it was so nice there, he could even take a nap...
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:33 PM
maybe you even broke the code and he won't go down here at night?????
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:37 PM
Ehy, he just said 'dont leave the room at night' Nara dosent know any extra rules, and ita still day right? They just had lunch!
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:37 PM
naptime is fine =w= someone's spying on you though
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:38 PM
Nap time then! He got himslef comfy and curled up, soon falling asleep
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:41 PM
and then it was dark :D
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:45 PM
Wooow totally not what i planned oooo
Nara woked up, his back hurted a bit and....
"Shit"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 5:52 PM
well, it's not like the monster will be coming outs-- the monster is also outside;;;;;
But hey, glass, you can actually see it now.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 5:53 PM
"Shit. Shit shit shit!"
He looked around to find a place to hide, yet he wanted to see better what was going on...After all if all the plants here were alive it meant he did got inside often right?
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 6:14 PM
He found a good place to hide between a white clematis and had a view on the outside while doing so.
The monster looked more like a skeleton or a zombie. Its skin was raw and bubbly, a bit resembling to what the melon had turned out to look that afternoon.
Its arms looked like they were both broken, and since he was outside, there was nothing to destroy but the grass it walked on. Its leg seemed in bad shape too, he was hardly standing.
It was panting and whimpering, gritting its teeth. but being outside seemed to make it just a little less destructive.
some cloud blocked the moonlight for a moment, so it was hard to see, but the monster tried to punch into nothing with its broken arm, as if it had a convulsion.
It lost its footing and fell to the ground, too weak to get up. All it could do now was make pitiful noises.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 6:16 PM
Was he gross? Yeah
Was Narancia still sorry for him? Yes again. He knew he coulnt touch him and had to stay hidden but...God he hoped there was a way to fix it, no matter what Fugo did, he sure didnt deserved all of this
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 6:27 PM
there was no further change during the night, just sad moaning that indicated he was still conscious. Though sometimes it seemed like it was less, or more.
At dawn, the abomination seemed to melt away, leaving a broken boy on the grass.
It seems he indeed had some way to restore himself, though it looked like it still was painful. and he left one arm broken for some reason.
He faltered back inside, probably to undo the damage he had caused.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 6:59 PM
At some point in the night Narancia sneaked in his room, noticing that the...thing was too exausted to move and probabily wolunt even notice him.
After a while he finally fell asleep, waking up in the morning.
He sat on the bed and started to think...He needed to find a way to undo whatever cursed happend to Fugo. But first he needed to ask him how
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:04 PM
once he left his room, the bird was waiting for him. But it dispatched the moment it noticed Narancia leaving.
Despite his annoyance from the day before, Fugo was waiting for him once more in the dining hall.
He didn't look very amused.
"You were out last night...."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:05 PM
He looked away
"I was in the green house and i fell asleep and i woke up when it was aready dark..." He murmured
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:11 PM
Fugo sighed annoyed. "If you don't want to die, I'd suggest you'd be more careful💢💢"
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:12 PM
"Mh sorry-" He murmured
"Ok but like...Cursed can be reversed right?? Did you found any clue how to??"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:13 PM
He looked off with a frown. "Do you think I'd live like this if I knew how to reverse it?"
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:13 PM
"Ehy i said 'any clue' not a whole cure" he pouted
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:17 PM
"The caster can reverse it."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:19 PM
"...And the caster is..?"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:20 PM
He leaned on the hand of the arm he had healed. "Dead."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:21 PM
"...Well shit that sucks" he murmured
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:26 PM
"Indeed....." he sighed. "I gave up looking, there's nothing... I can only control the damage."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:28 PM
"Cmon there must be a way!" He insisted
"Maybe not here b-but i can leave the house! Maybe there is someone outhere that can fix this!"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:30 PM
"This isn't your problem. So stay out of it...."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:31 PM
"But i want to help!!" He said looking at him
"Is not fair that you are in pain like this!"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:34 PM
"You CAN'T help. And making a fuss about it will only make me feel more miserable." he got up. "Besides, what's it to you? We hardly exchanged 5 sentences and I've single handedly caused you to be driven out of your home. Me letting you stay here is to make up for that, so you shouldn't have to feel any obligation."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 7:49 PM
"So what?" He rolled his eyes
"Stop taking the blame at this point, im the one that stole your stuff and tried to sell it, you could have kicked me out since day one and yet you didnt"
He shrugged
"Im loney and homeless, you are loney and cursed, so why not try help eachother? And also i cant just stay here watching you being in pain like that- like; who the fuck curses a child??"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 7:59 PM
"No, I didn't. Because you're the first human being I've seen in 3 years!" he got up and slammed his fist on the table. "You've seen the trail of dead animals, haven't you? It's no difference for humans! Frankly, I don't know how long you'll be staying alive, just by being here! Try surviving in those remaining few days first, before you start worrying about someone else!"
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 8:03 PM
"Look i survived worst...i Guess, so dont need to worry" He rolled his eyes.
"Whats your big plan, stay here till the day you die??" He crossed his arms
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 8:12 PM
"get off it, you ran as fast as you could after the first night..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 8:15 PM
He sighed
"Nh...I got scared its true-- But now i talked to you and you dont seems that bad--A-Also you cant stop me from finding a solution as soon im out of this house! Ah!"
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 8:21 PM
"Fine! Then leave for all I care! Nothing's keeping you here, if that's what you want!" he stepped off briskly, back to his room.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 8:24 PM
"Thats not what i meant, you dumbass!" He yelled back.
He rolled his eyes and took the plates to the kitchen, washing em, he knew he didnt had too but he also needed to chill.
"What a prick..." He murmured between himself.
Now, where he should start? Probabily the library! There must be some magic stuff books right?
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 8:27 PM
oh, plenty of it. and it all looks super complicated.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 8:31 PM
"Fuck..." He sighed, sitting on the floor, a pile of books next to him. What did he expect, found a page named 'curses 101?'
Still, he didnt wanted to give up yet!
He grabbed the more 'basic' book, starting to read if from page one
purplecraze — 08/28/2021 8:33 PM
something fell out. a paper with a silly children drawing. it was difficult to decipher, but it was a blond boy with a dark haired woman.
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 8:38 PM
"Oh my god" He wispered softly, he wondered who she was and also...felt sad. How much he said? 3 years? Someone did that to him when he was basically a kid! How could someone did that?
He grabbed the books and went to his room, to avoid of end up like yesterday, and keept reading, even if he didnt really understand
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This morning was unpleasant
Around 5:45 am I woke, I was so tired though, but I could tell that my body just wanted me awake. I went through my phone, but I was so tired I was barely conscious and couldn't open my eyes. I could feel my body did not want me sleeping, but I just closed my eyes, hoping for sleep but embracing just laying there, and I did drift off
I can't list the times, but what followed was me waking up, drifting off to sleep for 10-30 minutes, then waking again. When I woke at, I think it was 6:50 am or so, I thought that was it. Once again, I felt so incredibly tired, I could barely move, couldn't keep my eyes open, focus on anything, I was just so tired. Without even trying/thinking, I passed out again until 7:33 am
Again, this is where I just want to ask my body. If we are so tired, if we feel so off, if we are that exhausted that we cannot stay awake, focus, move, open our eyes, if all we can manage is sleep. Why keep waking us? Like, I was so tired I couldn't stay awake, I kept repeatedly falling asleep I was that tired, yet you kept repeatedly waking me? Why not just let me sleep that whole time? Why do you need to keep waking me?
All I can hear is Mickey's TV, so I lost my 30 minutes of peace and quiet in the morning too which is annoying, I look forward to that in the morning, only time there's silence
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Wisdom Teeth Removal
So, I just got my wisdom teeth removed today and it honestly wasn’t as frightening as I assumed it would be. The scariest part was the waiting for the dentist and anticipating what would happen. So, here’s what they did in case anyone else is worried about their wisdom teeth being removed. Now, only my top wisdom teeth grew in, so my surgery might be different or shorter than yours. Anyways, let’s get into it!
I got there about 10:15, they called me in shortly after and my mom sat with me until I feel asleep. The nurse that was attending to me out 3 ekg things on me, two on my collarbone and 1 on my chest. Then she hooked them up to these tiny little jumper cable things to monitor my electric pulses or something? (1.2) Afterwards, she put that thumb thing on me, the thing doctors put on your finger sometimes and I think it helps watch your blood pressure. Speaking of which; she had a blood pressure thing on my harm and it stayed on me for the surgery I assume. Not entirely certain because I fell as shortly after they out the IV in my arm. That hurt a bit, it kind of pitched and the dentist had to move it around a bit because my veins are so little (cause I’m a small/petite person, the dentist literally said that) it hurt a bit, but I listened to my mom’s advice and didn’t look at it happening. Which helped slightly.)
Okay, then they put that nose thing on, the one with used in hospitals and the two short tubes attached to it don’t actually go deep inside your nose (I thought they did), they just barely go in. It’s so you’ll inhale the sedation medicine in either the IV or a bag I couldn’t see. I feel asleep shortly after taking a few slow deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. (Do this before your surgery to calm your nerves and it helps if you have a trusted individual with you in the room until you fall asleep.)
I was knocked out for maybe 20-30 mins, I went under at 11:45 and woke up at like 12:00 maybe. The nurses lead me to back entrance and my mom and brother helped me into the car. I slept for a majority of the ride, only waking once because I was confused and disoriented. Then I fell back asleep until I got home, where I promptly threw up. But, I just barely remember that part, I do remembering stumbling to the front door with aid from my brother and mom.
After I entered the house I kicked off my shoes, as best I could, and collapsed on the couch. Then was knocked out for a couple of hours and my mom made sure to change my gauze every 15 mins. When I woke up, I had some room temperature apple sauce and a small sip of water. Then threw up, but fortunately my mom had tied my hair back previously and she had bucket nearby. Then I had another sip of water, changed my gauze (make sure you take your gauze out before you throw up or if your eating or drinking something)
slept some more, woke up, drank some Tylenol or ibuprofen and then just laid on the couch watching television and cooing at my niece. My mom stayed with me the entire time and she took great care of me and made sure I was comfortable and following the dentist’s advice. She’s going to be with me for the next few days and I’m very thankful for her nursing me.
Also, my dad unfortunately did not make it to the pharmacy on time, nor did my other brother, so no medicine for me, but it’s alright because I have grape Tylenol.
•Tips! If your appointment is scheduled for 6-8 in the morning you should drink as much water as possible the previous night, before 12:00, but if your appointment is scheduled for later in the morning you can eat light food (like thinly cut pizza) and drink plenty of water before 1:40-1:50. No later than that, it’ll give your body time to digest and you won’t starve through the night. Also, try not to stay up all night, you’ll be more tempted to drink-/eat.
•Make sure that you have something help you walk around at your house, the IV sedation last for at least 3-4 hours and your balance will be awkward. Having something guide you to the bathroom is helpful.
•DON’T ANY WORK, I KNOW YOU MAY WANT TO DO HOUSEWORK OR GO TO WORK, BUT ITS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU REST AND KET YOUR BODY HEAL. IF NO ELSE IS TAKING UO THE MANTLE FOR HOUSEWORK I DON’T HAVE A SOLUTION, BUT I KNOW YOU DESERVE BETTER. IF YOU HAVE A JOB, CALL IN SICK AND TELL THEM YOU GOT YOUR WISDOM TEETH REMOVED. YOU MUGHT NEED TO ASK THE DENTIST FOR A EXCUSE NOTE.
Your dentist is probably going to try and make conversation to ease you, it’s your choice to engage. I did engage and I sounded quite stiff, wasn’t as expressive as I usually was due to me dreading what’s to come, but it isn’t that bad and all I have to do is heal. If your boss doesn’t let you off explain to him exactly how you’ll behave during the healing process, stumbling, nausea, and slight disorientation. Hopefully they’ll understand how counterproductive it would be to drag you in to work.
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Huhhh I'm so fucking tired in the past few months, it's because of me, it's because of the lack of sleep, I can't remember the last time I slept 8 hours the longest that I've been able to sleep was 6 hours a night but most of the time I sleep for 5 hours... It's ass, and once again it's because of me, it's not insomnia, I can sleep just fine, it's self inflicted,, I'm unable to get myself to sleep every night, at first it was just me doing my stuff, drawing, reading, and not wanting to fall asleep too early, to squeeze the last drop on entertainment out of my day, but it has started to change after a nother sleep paralysis, I've started to dread sleep and the darkness. I love sleeping in the pitch dark, but in the past few days I found myself staring at it to test something and sure enough, if I'm in the dark and open my eyes, my mind will make out to most horrendous and disturbing faces in there, it's just pitch dark, nothing else no shades no light just blackness and all the faces laughing at me, I'm scared of that, I'm scared of another sleep paralysis and yesterday was worse than usual
I was terribly afraid of everything in my room, I couldn't get my riled up mind to sleep until 5am, but eventually I fell asleep, but the most upsetting thing is that my father woke me up around 11:45 am, well yes sure that is quite late already and I know for a fact that I would have slept for way longer, but he woke me up from the best fucking sleep ever, he woke me up bc he wanted to have lunch (which this fucking man child is unable to have alone) he woke me up from my best sleep yet and had me eat food. Now I know I could have refused him he would have let me go, but he would have been upset and bitchy about it, in this household the best thing you could do is never anger him, let him have his way, otherwise he'll make this home into a living hell for not only you but for every other family members, so not like I can say no to him,, and honestly what he did here wasn't anything bad specially,
He woke me up because it was late already and had me eat something, but I feel like I have been robbed of this amazing sleep, of my 8 hours,, my limbs feel like falling off, and my brain buzzes with the leftover sleep that hes trying to process for me. I'm still tired for fucks sake, but I know that even if I lay in bed the rest of the day, I won't be able to sleep, my mind won't let me
Fuck it up
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did u endup falling asleep silly?? i jus woke up now!! 🐕🐕
- 🏍️
i did! i fell asleep at like 6:45ish and my mom woke me up at 9:45 so i could go get us food 😭. so last night i slept a total of 8hrs just spread out (10-3, 6-9)
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6/19/24
8:50 a.m Edited/Added to
So of course last night was the first time I forgot to write down my closed eyes time, why? My timer went off for Mouthwash I was super tired and I was fighting my eyes and I was like yea right you won't fall asleep, you'll need to pee. I was like I'll close my eyes and in 5 or 10 minutes use Mouthwash. I believe my timer went off at 10:59 but Idk. I was out like a light. Dead to the world. I woke up at like 5:30 a.m. I tried to sleep until like 6:15 a.m and I couldn't fall back to sleep. I didn't want to use drugs bc I don't want to wake up at like 12 p.m or even 10 a.m. I want to wake up everyday at like 8 a.m the latest... In order to keep a strict circadian rhythm and fight circadian rhythm disorder you need to be strict about your sleep/wake cycle.
I probably got like 6 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. Still not a single 7 hour night but I'm getting closer. I think my circadian rhythm is adjusting.
Unfortunately tonight I need to go back to a half mg. Or at least try.. I'm going to take my half mg at 9:30... so I can take the other half by like 11 p.m or something after 1 hour of closing my eyes and presumably failing. We will see what happens. If I have to take the second half... at that point it'll be day 3 and by day 4 my tolerance will forever be raised.. so tomorrow I'll just take the full mg and accept it.
Today I started laundry. All my attic clothes from my old dresser will be complete and put in a bin. Stupidly bc I'm a hoarder i tried to go through it but can't make my mind up for various reasons.. so I decided to wash it all and decide later. Some of the basketball shorts are brand name but very small... I mean I have good reasons for being like idk. I'm also going to put tide cold wash directly on the arm pit stains and see if it comes off my second load... I mean some of the pit stains got removed from a general wash in it.. so maybe I can save all my nice shirts. I'm keeping them regardless bc I know I can try different things to lift the hard surface stains over time.
I emailed the board and asked if i could provide more documentation like my night at the psych ward and my primary care for documentation of my insomnia.
I put my graduation stuff in that corner. It isn't perfect but it looks better. I might move more posters around today.
I got to go grocery shopping and return my gloves. I'm also going to pick up my testosterone today. I'm going to do all of this before my t-shot at 3:45 p.m so I can come home and shower.
My sister has a tripod I'm waiting on so I can get my car photo shoot pictures. I might make some phone calls before I go to the grocery store.
I'm getting shit done. I really hope I don't have to raise my tolerance but we will see.
Also I detailed pooping problems on my sleep tracker. I started 2000mg of white mulberries 4 days before I had some problems and l salivarius 3 days before. It could be l salivarius. It could be a change in the way I eat which I'm fixing. Idk but we will first start changing my eating order and see if it fixes it, if it doesn't, then we will take out l salivarius if that doesn't work I'll take my white mulberries to 1500 again... and see if that works. Then try l salivarius again.
I have a feeling it's my sleep schedule with the eating habits being changed but we will see. As I had 4 days of the white mulberries and 3 days of l salivarius that everything was normal and then I didnt sleep...
My hallucination is making me want to die. It's whatever this is my quality of life.
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