#i wnana write more but writing is so hard
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thinking about life derailed again....
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actually i’m hunting you down personally again sorry i just wnana say bleeding ink is sooooocffuckrd up and i’m sooo normal abojt it. GAHHHHH
srsly the handling of these topics is so genuine and caring though and you don’t dance around it or simply allude to it it is Literally in the text. and the way you acknowledge as well the like. way that this affects somebody, like dakota being able to recognize the contents in the safe and also his and ashe’s entire “hypothetically” conversation and the sun and moon metaphors and GOD.FUCKKKKKKKK this was designed specifically to kill me. finally starting ch11 and i’m SO scared and GODDD dakotas more worried abt saying sorry for the fact that he may have given ashe the bruises he got than he is abt telling her he got suspended. i need to lie down the demonkciks brainrot is fucking getting 2 me,,,,,
THANK YOU i've always wanted to handle the prime defenders drug thing but i never wanted it to be the whole fic. i was raised in the same environment dakota was my whole life and that's why i feel so connected to him as a character and can see these things so realistically idk. i try so so so hard. i want people to see dakota the way i see dakota because that shit rlly messes with a person yk? and it's hardly reflected in prime defenders probably because it's a rlly dark topic and they don't have experience with and they're scared to delve into it. but i am not scared and i know what i'm talking ab so i will write my shit on ao3
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hi its two am/a little bit past it btu im fuckin. love sans n papyrus a lot
#ghgjksd like its!! im tearing up about it and lsiten im gonna be the first of a good chunk to admit/call myself a big fukcin sap bc its true#like!!!!! i jsut. wanna. hug mal/plum so fukcing bad and one of those?? fierce hugs?? but firm- loving even- tryna make him physically#FEEL how much i love him- which is a lot!!! and so much so!! like hide my face in his chest and thank him for sticking around#and for staying with me and loving me and tell him how?? proud i am of him???? and how much i love him and im#hgjkgsmdg im tearing up just thinkin about it but i love him so goddamn much and i feel like he might love me too??#like?? as wild as that sounds- cuz its something i have a hard time iwht nshit and its just this!!#wild concept; that im lovable by some stretch of the imagination and that how im feeling might be reciprocated somehow???#i jsut wnana kiss him so fucking soundly and hug him so much and hold him so fuckin close and tell n show him how much he means to me#every day and try to fix my sleeping habits so that i can wake up before him once in awhile and wake him up with kisses#cuz its what he deserves and!!! i wanna!! learn how to make shit he likes so i can pack him a lunch and write love notes to him every day#or maybe not every day but every other day works too and just!! un-touch starve each other??#like i hold him and he holds me and ive got my arms wrapped under his and holding onto his shoulders#while hes got his hands on my hips and tracing patterns on them/the small of my back??#and i get to nuzzle my face into his chest and into the crook of his neck and just... sit like that. just /be/ there together#with him in that moment and not give a shit or worry about what we have to do later or anything and just#be with eeach other?? in that moment??? and enjoy each others company and murmur soft 'i love you's to each other#i dunno im kinda new to the whole happy crying/tearing up bit and its? funny- but like interesting funny that its mal that brought that on#like hes jsut been through so much and if i can offer/give him even some semblance of peace/ease then thats more than enough for me#as with papy?? ht papyrus??? and slate and all of them really im jsut in a lovey dovey sappy bastard mood tonight hgjskdgmsd
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5. You're dreaming about speaking Norwegian. That's such unusual and beautiful dream. Maybe wondering what is clever about wanting speaking language. Well, you want to gain knowledge. 6. You read. Sounds cheesy but listen. It's nothing about being clever just because you read some pamphlet. It's about opening gates to the different worlds which are all around you and fits perfectly into your hands. And somehow most of the population of this planet fail to understand that. - 6
I’m so happy you decided to write me again!! I really love your talks 6, they’re really uplifting and they do make me smile, like, really. I feel like i should answer to if so almost every thing you listed with my point of view. Thank you so much for everything and your good job.
1. Well i mean by humor sorted only i suppose it’s kind of clever how it goes from memes to dark humor and linguistic jokes and it’s still a one damn thing. A hetalia blog. (with almost no hetalia content cause y know hetalia is kinda dying)
2. I do not necessary hate my art but i know there are people with far much more talent then i have and who are just better at art in particular. I know, practice, i advice that alot too, because sometimes it happens that people happen to follow my work and actually want advice from me on certain stuff. I am still not the best but i do believe i acquired enough skill to help others with their progress in art and actually helping them not to give up just cause they can’t draw hands for example. I mean i guess this kind of makes me happy too, that i can be some use for others as well. But hey. Even though you think your art or whatever you do is not good others will see it as something else. Something really good. They will really like it. And if they know their way around they can tell you some criticism to improve yourself. Remember: Right criticism is only when both bad and good things of the picture are pointed out. (i wnana see yr stuff majahsjasdk)
3. I wouldn’t even think that it would make you cry. I do seem to struggle with words sometimes but i suppose i’m better with written word then with spoken. I actually wanted to write stuff, you know maybe a book or so, so that you were moved by my words makes me happy. damn thank you so much i feel like i can believe in myself at least once in my life thanks to your kind words.
4. That isn’t necessary right but it’s neither wrong. I am careless for what is going with our country unless it doesnt heavily change my life. So when i hear complains how Czech Republic is really bad with some stuff i kind of can’t agree or disagree because i either don’t care or just not sure what to answer. Not everything is perfect and i know we’re living pretty much in luxury yet people are complaining. Some have the right to, some don’t. I don’t have anything to complain about, so i keep my mouth shut. I do like some of our stuff but like i guess i’m kinda dissapointed that it just fades away with upcoming generation and modernization (and making all the countries have same things and destroying unique aspects and so on). One of the main reason is globalization i guess. But to me unique and just like being able to hold stuff together without much help from others is what matters. Because if Germany will fail at something it will affect a lot of European countries including Czech Republic. And i don’t think that’s the right way to go, since you know. It can happen any time. But now you’re just hearing me complaining about something what probably doesn’t matter much now, haha. Let’s move on.
5. I actually did learn some Norwegian so i can say now like What’s your name or What’s up? or Are you hungry? or some like trivial stuff, but i imagine mastering the language will be hard. I learned English since i was small so it’s like my second mother language, but linguistic stuff? well i know i do remember quite alot from other languages so i guess i may be good at them. Maybe. I have no clue. But i do like learning languages, because it’s like coming to terms with the country itself. It’s hard, but in the end it will be worth the try at least. Yeah also knowledge i maybe pretty much crave it. When i was little i wanted to know every little fact but as i grow older i just see how much things are being made up then being true and that kind of got me off the track, probably. But i mean we should all be interested in knowledge. Isn’t it better to know something about something you’re interested or good in then know nothing and just lie? I don’t think so. But i’m positive some people would argue with me about that.
6. (hm six things and you’re nicknamed six, kinda fishy haha) Well, lot of people say that reading is good and yeah i sure do like to read, but most of the time i sink up to fantasy, fiction or so. Many books i read containing facts lie. I learned it kinda the hard way, that even books i really trusted the most, can lie. Some books contain facts, some pretend to contain facts. Books are tricky and you have to be tricky with them. Usually, the most honest books were written by the poorest but actual genius people. Books that were written just for money sound like made just for money. I heard if you write a book it will reflect on your insides and print itself into the book. Your ideology, your beliefs all sorta stuff. Also, you do have a point. Maybe that’s what made me want to read books again. Books do open other worlds. Worlds that maybe doesn’t exists really but exists in the person who wrote them. In their mind. And the book is just a single fragment. Or it can be more fragments or even a whole set of fragments. Sometimes even a world done from all the fragments. Depends on how much the author wants to share their world. Books are beautiful. they smell good, they taste good and they’re really nice to touch. Man i love books.
And somehow most of the population of this planet fail to understand that. - I can really relate to this as well, because yeah, in my experience lot of people do lack to understand the beauty of it all. They just choose to ignore it. Which is fine by me i guess, it’s their choice, but man. they are missing out on a lot of great things.
Also look another essay done. I should apologize for writing an answer really late but i had to make some preparations and also today was also really busy. But it’s fine i am indeed doing alright.
I should thank you, dear 6, for opening up more. You actually showed me some fragments of your mind too. I am really happy we can open up to each other, as i often bottle up cause i don’t often find people with same interest. To not offend other mutuals i do like talking about my interest with you too and i will continue on doing that!! Like i really feel relieved talking to you all. Such nice people.
You deserve a hug from me and everyone you’re friends with or like or so on. Please keep on being great. Keep on being who you are. It makes me really happy.
I also probably stop being so self-deprecating too, huh. i mean some of it is joke some of it it’s truth i have no idea when is when so i guess it has become a mixture of both. Yeah i just sometimes use it as apology too because you know it’s better blaming yrself that you suck then that you have failed horribly because you’ve done something really wrong. And it’s exaggerating. But it’s like, it’s hard to know when is it too much and when not but i rather say it’s my fault then blaming someone else. And as i go i usually do the extreme as always. Me rambling again, you’re welcome.
It was busy day so I’m tired haha. I hope you have a good night sleep, dear 6. Thank you for your another daily message. It makes me really happy everytime. Really really really really.
#personal#lil 6#today was a real busy day#might come back to rewrite some stuff i forgot to add#i hope dear anon had a perfect day!!!!!
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