#i wish tumblr functioned better skjfgs

[sarkisms]

so hoo boy here comes a rant about a Bunch of people because i was thinking about it today and now i wanna get it out of my system and if anyone asks im absolutely going to tell you who they were because im not gonna vagueblog and not offer that though this is less of a callout and more of a vent and im not even interacting w these people much if at all anymore So

mmmmm so starting off w someone i knew for 6 years or so and then blew up at and i feel bad for that still but the blame isnt entirely mine especially when i remember all the stuff she did honestly i just. without her im not sure sarkis would be who he is but also with her he wouldnt either. by the end of our friendship she was ignoring what i was saying, any help i tried to give her in making friends, commented on smut threads (when repeatedly asked not to, which is why im nervous about writing smut now bc this went on for Ages) and laughed "with" me about what i wrote in them, complained when i wouldnt be replying (despite 70+ threads w other people whove been waiting Much longer) then Not replying when i gave them ("i didnt want to burden you youre so busy" why fucking ask for them dont guilt trip me), THEN when complaining we dont have anything but i offer she could bring back old stuff she never replied to i get "oh sarkis is so different from when we started writing those i dont know what do" never mind that that is MY problem not hers??? like there was nothing i could do to help her either ”no one wants to write with me” “i dont think people like my character very much” maybe fucking go interact w people make the first move follow the people ive given you Lists to follow from i dont know!! i cant force you to do anything!!! please help both of us!!!!! there was also the possessive nonsense where anytime i shipped my character w someone else she got upset? that my characters were moving on and not mentioning hers? of course they wouldnt her characters were their SOs and the source of some serious issues and trauma theyre not gonna fuckin bring them up when theyre trying to get over them but shed be mad anyway rhbrbhrh  and eventually it fucking whittled down to like i couldnt do something for her bc she gave me too broad of a task and i was uncomfortable and absolutely refused to help me out?? which just made me drastically anxious??? and also i was having issues bc she refused to respond to rps and i didnt know what else to do so if anyones paying attention you know what happened to her and her character(s) aaaa there was just so much i dunno i miss her a lot but its such a mess and im sure it just,,, we just werent working out at the end i have no idea if itd always been like this or not but i like to hope that it was only that last year or so that got wonky

another person though mmmmm apparently shes been pulling some racist shit and either i just never saw it or she never mentioned anything to me?? that second one is v likely considering she tells different people different things. i just. im sure people are gonna guess who it is but she doesnt have anything to do w me anymore so im not gonna be shy about saying this shit. she tries to be a mother figure for a pile of 20 something year olds and then complains that she, a woman 10+ years older, is not getting emotionally taken care of the same way?? maybe treat other people like theyre on the same level and you wont get stuck in a rut again? also just,, shes been weirdly kinda creepy and gross to other friends (sort of vaguely hinting attraction to them or sort of but not rly hitting on them i??) and just,, i dunno. i kinda miss her. but shes also sort of part of the Group of people i cant interact w anymore so while i miss her i think its better we dont talk anyway i dunno i hope she n her fam are doing well and i wish shed stop acting like she hasnt done anything wrong or like,, i havent done anything to help her bc it Hurt to see her delete me again but im not playing that game i did and i know its wrong and i wont participate anymore unless im leaving for a reason now and i have had another person try this with me and i will not be following back bc im tryna to better yall im not getting dragged back in

then theres that whole group thing that happened that if youve seen before you know who im talking about i wont make any mention directly but jesus im so?? angry sometimes thinking about them all like one girl straight up Lied about what id done they ALL chose to ignore what id been trying to do (check in, frantically, constantly) and claim it as something it wasnt they called me abusive and toxic and manipulative and i have never ever done anything to hurt anyone like that actively and frankly ASKED CONSTANTLY if i was expressing traits like this to be told, CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY, that i was doing none of that and then right at the end bc i had a meltdown get told i was doing everything?? WHEN ID LEFT, TOO?? its not like any of them couldnt contact me lmao and then they decided they got to talk to me on their time and only their time and im just im not gonna go into the whole thing but boy the lack of self awareness in that group i dont blame them for dropping me still, i really really dont?? but i hope Someone in that fucking group realizes that they did some rudeass shit one of them straight up came at me and i know theres been some blowback and i Know they arent as well liked as they think they are and the hold they have over people by somehow being popular despite being disliked?? its just fear?? i hope everyone comes to their senses and calls them out i hope they all fucking admit shits fucked up in there im still pissed at my last interaction being “ok bye” and then They had to get the last word like i hadnt already agreed to leave lmao,,, sighs loudly

and then!! lastly i doubt shell ever see this but i still like this person but mmm no matter what i say its not good enough and yknow its fine she reminds me of nicole and thats unfortunate i think thats why i dont like talking to her as much now-- its never Enough contact and im tired of being responsible for other peoples attention and i hope no one thinks i hope theyre the sole person that keeps me afloat because thats terrible to put on anyone i hope she fuckin finds a good group of people bc i couldnt help as much as i tried and as little as she did and i Know she didnt put the effort it if she reads this and figures out its her i hope she realizes she isnt doing the shit she needs to and cant blame other people im tired man i love her but im so tired!!! i hope you stay unfollowed until you feel ok with the lack of interaction bc i cant do any better rn real life is getting to me i gotta reorganize priorities im so sorry skjdfgs

im sure all these people would have some shit to say about me so whatever. im p sure some of these people Have been saying shit about me lmao anyway cheers to anyone who reads all of this im fuckin impressed