#i wish phones still had headphone jacks.... for phone charms............... :^)

[li-esonthefloor]

jp fans out there like, at long last i have decided to sell my merch. it was kept unopened and unused in the original box in a humidity-controlled room with no direct sunlight and i dared not even look at it more than once semi-annually for nine years for fear my gaze would damage it. buyers, please be aware that oxygen has touched the outside packaging of the product and only buy if that doesn't bother you.

meanwhile me, with the merch i buy,

[whiteqnn]

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Summary: Sean invites one of his good friends - Y/N - to play with him and the group. She has a lot of fun with them, but at the same time is too oblivious, too nice, and too pure to notice that one particular Among Us player has taken a liking to her the moment he heard her voice...

Notes: Hello everyone! This is the very first time I’m publishing something bigger in here, I’m honestly still figuring out how Tumblr works, even though I’ve had this account for quite some time now 😅. That being said, please don’t expect anything super impressive. I tried my best though just so you know. 🥺

A/N- It didn’t turn out as I expected, but I really hope at least some of you find it enjoyable :(

Y/C/N - your channel name

part 2

part 3 

part 4 

part 5 

PURE [1]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix asked, as the number of players still showed just 7 of them. They could just start now, but the game would be way more fun with a full lobby. 

“Yeah, Lily’s joining. I just texted her the code, so she should be here at any moment.” Sykkuno replied after receiving a text message from the said girl. “Oh, and Corpse also said he’d be joining soon.” 

“Great. Anyone else?”

 “I think Jack was also bringing someone, right?” Dave asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I have one coming, she’ll join us in a few” the asked man replied at the same moment Lily’s character appeared in the lobby. 

“Who you’re bringing Jack?” 

“Y/N” he said, causing Felix to gasp in shock and yell into his mic:

“How the fuck did you manage to convince her? I’ve been bugging her about this game for the past week and she always had some excuse!” 

“What can I say, my charm is irresistible” Jack replied nonchalantly, causing everyone in the lobby to laugh at his fake deep voice.

The number of participants changed to 9, as a little black astronaut with horns on his helmet appeared in the lobby. 

“Corpse, you’re here!” Rae’s character ran up to the man, circling him excitedly. 

“Hey man!”

“What’s up, Corpse?”

“Hello everyone” his deep voice sounded out “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“All good man, we’re still waiting for one person.” Felix reassured him “Sean, why is she not here yet? Are you sure you’ve sent her the right code?”

“Of course I am!” he all but shouted at Felix “And about that, she just texted me to give her a few more minutes and that we should start without her.”

“We can just wait, right?” Lily offered, earning a few hums of approval from the others.

“I think it might take a little longer than a few minutes, she has some problems with her microphone.”

“Who are you guys talking about?” Corpse asked, completely unaware of who Jack was referring to.

“Wait, Jack, you mean Y/N from Y/C/N?” Sykkuno asked suddenly, only then realizing why this name sounded familiar

“Yeah, the one and only” Jack replied, a smile evident in his voice.

“Oh my god, I love her videos!” Rae exclaimed at that “She’s so funny and sweet!”

“Yeah! Her new video is so freaking cute, I wish she’d upload more often.” Poki agreed. 

“Right?” Jack said, clearly very proud of his friend. “But don’t let that sweet demeanor fool you guys cause she’s one of the best players I’ve encountered in this game.”

“That’s true, she’s a secret big brain genius” Toast confirmed, making Pewdiepie gasp once again. 

“wHAT??YOU TWO PLAYED WITH HER?!” Felix’s offended voice boomed through everyone’s headphones “HOW DARE YOU. HOW COULD YOU NOT INVITE ME?!” 

“That’s for not inviting me to your latest Cringe episode!” Jack was quick to respond, making others in the lobby laugh at their mini fight. 

“Oh, so that’s where I recognized her from!” Sykkuno nearly shouted when he finally put two and two together. “I can’t wait to meet her, she seems like a really nice person.”

“She is! When she got impostor for the first time she refused to kill me” Toast explained, earning himself a couple of Aww’s from his friends. “So we just ran around the emergency button until I called the meeting and voted her off.”

“Yeah, only to be her first victim in the next game.” Jack all but giggled, clearly very amused at the memory of Y/N going into a full berserk mode. No one except for him and Toast knew how good she really was at this game... 

“She’s basically the wolf in sheep’s skin” Felix concluded with a chuckle “Very soft wolf, however.”

“She’s like the complete opposite of Corpse, both in voice and personality” Jack suddenly said, making Felix laugh wholeheartedly at something only two of them understood at the moment. 

“I don’t know how should I take that�� Corpse admitted with a chuckle. He remained silent for most of the conversation since he didn’t really know who the guys were talking about. But he would lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued by this girl at least in the slightest. Although he heard about her channel, he hasn’t seen any of her videos, so he didn’t really know what to expect. But hearing what gamers like Sean and Felix said about her, he knew he’s not gonna be disappointed once the girl joins them in the game. 

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N talking.” Felix said suddenly with a seemingly very amused voice.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N both being Impostors” Toast said, which resulted in many of them shouting over each other at how crazy that would be. 

“Alright, now that you mention this I start fearing the moment two of them meet” Jack confessed with loud laughter following the sentence. Corpse chuckled deeply under his breath, at the same time glancing at the questions his audience was asking him in his stream. He could hardly read any, as there were quite a lot of people asking, so all he saw was just a bunch of comments moving at the speed of light in his chat. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was slightly nervous, seeing the growing number of people watching his stream. It was still a rather new thing to him, and he feared he'd say something inappropriate, or just make a complete idiot out of himself. 

"At least no one can see me..." he mumbled under his breath after muting his microphone. 

"Oh! Y/N just texted me! She's joining the call right now!" 

"Fuck yeah!" Felix shouted excitedly "Just so you know Jack, I won't forget that you two played without me."

"Uh-oh. Is that a threat? Are you threatening me now?" 

"It's a warning" Felix replied, receiving a series of gasps from other players. "If I get impostor, you're the first one on my list."

"Okay, everyone heard that! You know who to vote off when I'm dead!" 

"It's so cool to play with someone new, I wonder if she's as good as you guys depict her" Sykkuno spoke up, but before anyone could answer his question, a new character popped up in the lobby.

*** 

"Hi everyone! I’m sorry I left you just like that, but this stream would be completely useless without me being able to answer your questions. Fortunately it wasn’t anything serious, I just had to readjust my mic and go through the settings to find what was wrong. Took some time, but here I am now!” Y/N chirped into her microphone, smiling apologetically at her webcam. At the moments like this, she really appreciated how supportive her audience was. No one was hating on her when she had to get off the stream for a couple of minutes, and everyone was just so understanding that it made her heart melt. Perhaps her audience wasn’t very big, but it felt almost like a second family to her. 

“Anyway, as you already know from my twitter, today I’ll be playing Among Us with my friends and their friends! I can’t wait if I’m being honest, last time I played this game was so much fun, and there was only a few of us.” she admitted with a genuine smile on her face. “Let’s just text Sean now so we can get into the lobby...”

Y/N: Ready to play with you guys ^^

Jackaboy: Great! You got that mic fixed already? 

Y/N: Yes, everything is fine. I’m sorry you had to wait so long.

Jackaboy: It’s all good kiddo, no worries. I’ll call you and send you the code in a sec. 

Y/N: Perfect, thank you Sean :)

Jackaboy: Btw, everyone can’t wait to meet you ;-)Y/N stared at the screen for a moment, only now, seconds before joining the group, realizing how nervous she felt. From Sean’s tweets she saw earlier, she figured that the lobby was right now full of many famous streamers, those she wouldn’t even compare herself to. It’s not that she thought of herself very low, but... being among such youtube celebrities like them made her panic a little bit. She didn’t want to look like a complete fool amongst them. 

Playing or recording with Sean and Felix was something else because she knew those guys for years (and yet still sometimes found herself thinking how lucky she got to be able to call them her friends). She felt good in their company, not worrying about choosing the right words. But amongst the rest of the players, she knew only Toast and talked with Rae maybe once in her life... 

What if the rest won’t like her? 

Y/N cleared her throat, realizing that she was still staring at her phone like hypnotized and her audience was already asking her what’s going on. She quickly typed in the code Sean had texted her and readjusted her headphones, before joining the discord chat.

“THERE SHE IS” screamed Sean, making her grin from ear to ear, hearing how excited he was “Little wonderchild!”

“I think you meant little TRAITOR” Felix corrected him with a scoff. A silence settled in the lobby as everyone was waiting for Y/N to speak up.

“Um... hello everyone..” she said softly, almost inaudibly, a sudden wave of shyness taking over her. “I’m Y/N” 

“Oh, you were right about that Corpse thing!” replied another, also very soft and very sweet voice, and Y/N saw the image of someone named Lily pop up. “It’s like the exact opposite!” 

“See? Told ya. Everyone, meet Y/N/N, the little angel from Y/C/N.” 

“Hey Y/N!”

“Hi there!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“H-Hi, so great to meet you, Y/N!” a very friendly sounding voice said, and a little lime astronaut with the name Sykkuno above it started running around her. “Can’t wait to play with you!”

“That’s so nice, thank you” she replied with a wide smile on her face, moving around his character as well. “I can’t wait to play with you too, actually with all you guys. It’s so great to be here with you.”

“Jack I swear she’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever heard. Where the hell did you find her?!” Poki all but yelled at the man, making Y/N giggle to herself and in-process loosen up a little bit. They all seemed like someone she’d happily be friends with. 

“Or rather, where do you get one?” someone else commented, making them all burst into laughter, Y/N included. 

“Guys, what did I say about that sweet demeanor...” Jack said after calming down from his fit “Don’t put your guard down just because she sounds like that!”

“Wait- what did you tell them about me?” Y/N asked confused, the tone of her voice making him laugh even more “Jack!”

“Don’t worry, only the good stuff” a very deep, low voice spoke up, leaving her taken aback for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced at the name of that person, reading out CORPSE. Now that’s something she didn’t expect... 

“Corpse, mind your manners! You didn’t even introduce yourself!” 

“Oh, shit- yeah, sorry. Um, I’m Corpse, it’s very nice to meet you Y/N” he replied right after, making her lip corners curl up into a smile. 

“Nice to meet you too Corpse, you have a really pleasant voice.” she spoke sweetly, completely unaware of the chaos that was taking place in her stream chat. She didn’t even think of it the way her audience did, she just simply spoke up her mind, and being an incredibly nice person - turned it into a compliment.

“Oh- wow. I mean, thank you so much. I love your voice too, it’s really sweet” he replied, nervously chuckling at the end, before muting his mic. It was, however, enough for Felix and Sean to start teasing him, as the two immediately screamed:

“SIIIMP!!!”

“It’s the voice Felix, I told you he’d fall into her trap!” 

“Wait- he was just being nice, guys! Stop making fun of him” Y/N immediately defended the man, trying to speak up over the hysterical laughter of the other players. 

“Oh my god, but what if they both get impostors and they both pull the voice cards on us?!” Rae managed to yell through all the noise, making Y/N even more confused.

“Wait, what? What do you mean? I don’t understand.” 

“Don’t worry Y/N, that’s how I feel all the time around them.” Sykkuno seemed to be the only one who heard her question, as the rest continued their gabbing without giving her as much as a glance. 

“Alright, let’s start the game maybe. I might have a few old scores to settle” Toast cleared his throat theatrically, his astronaut coming face to face with Y/N’s. 

“Oh, you mean me? I thought I already apologized!” she replied frantically. “You gave me no choice Toast, I didn’t even want to kill you in the first place...”

“BUT YOU DID. IN THE VERY FIRST ROUND” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Alright, enough! Toast, just don’t kill her right away, okay? Let her run around the map, fearing for her life for a moment.” Y/N gasped upon hearing Jack’s words, clearly sensing the smirk behind his voice. 

“Wha- Jack?! Since when are you against me?!” 

“Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t let them hurt you. You haven’t played with us yet, I’ll protect you.” 

“Oh, thank you so much Sykkuno! I’ll protect you too!” 

“Great. Another one simping...” was Felix’s last words, before the game began. 

Y/N sighed in relief upon seeing the word crewmate forming on her screen, but at the same time feared Toast’s inevitable revenge. She thought they'd already buried the hatchet, but it seemed that he was desperate to make her pay for the last time they played together. 

“Aw, Sykkuno was serious” she mumbled with a smile, when his lime astronaut started circling her white one, so she would follow him. “Okay, let’s do some tasks.”

They both made their way towards the medbay, Sykkuno patiently waiting nearby as she did the scan, then Y/N waiting for him to do the same. The moment his little character stepped towards her, a meeting was called by none other than Felix.

“What happened?” Rae asked.

“I called the meeting because I’m afraid of Jack” he responded, causing everyone to laugh. “Seriously though! Dude’s been following me around the whole time.”

“I was just making sure nobody kills you.”

“Yeah don’t go all Sykkuno on me!” Felix screamed, making the call erupt into even more laughter. 

“Alright, are we skipping?” 

“Yeah.”

“Guys, my life is in danger!” Felix wouldn’t give up. “Come on, show some support! Y/N? You played with him, you know his techniques!” 

“Sorry Felix” Y/N giggled, clicking the skip button. 

When the next round began, Sykkuno was quick to join Y/N on her way towards admin, where they both found Poki doing the upload. They did the card swipe and left her there, when the lights suddenly went off.

“Uh-oh. Let’s head the opposite direction, Sykkuno” the girl murmured, dancing around his character and heading towards Comms instead of going to Electrical. It was the easiest way to die, after all. 

Once they entered the room and waited for someone to fix the lights, Y/N could see another figure appear in the same location. She couldn’t recognize whose character it was, but upon seeing the horns on the helmet she smiled to herself.

“Hey there, Corpse” she said, walking up to the black astronaut, who was standing still in the same place as if he was just watching her and Sykkuno run around Comms instead of doing their tasks. 

They stood like that for a couple of seconds until Corpse turned around and ran away, and that’s when the first body was reported. 

“Oh no, Jack!” 

“Poor guy. He’s gonna haunt us now.”

“Where’s the body?” 

“Navigation” replied Rae, who was the one to find Sean’s green astronauts’ body “Didn’t see anyone around, but I’m pretty sure someone just vented right in front of my eyes...”

“Any suspicions?” Toast asked.

“Um, not really sure, it was the exact same moment the lights went off. I was doing tasks with Jack and then he just died. I only saw the vent close, nothing or no one else.”

“Okay, where are you guys right now?” 

“I’m in admin with Dave, we only passed Poki when we got there.” Lily’s voice sounded out, quickly being joined by Poki’s explanation.

“Yeah, I was finishing the upload when you guys came in, Y/N and Sykkuno saw it”

“Did you see her?” Toast asked, addressing his question towards the white and lime astronauts. 

“Yes, we were doing the card swipe before going to Comms. Corpse joined us for a moment and then left.”

“Yeah, I was on my way to fix the lights when I stumbled upon them in Comms, the body was reported the exact moment I left.”

“Can someone confirm this? I mean, did someone see you besides the two of them?” Toast continued his questioning. 

“I think I only saw Felix in Medbay.”

“Hmm, so no one really knows where you were this whole time. You could easily lure Jack into Navigation and kill him there. Is that what you did, Corpse?”

“Woah, that’s some serious accusation” Corpse replied in his usual, low and calm voice. “Where were you Toast? You seem the only one who still doesn’t have an alibi”

“Neither does Felix.” Y/N spoke innocently, and the mentioned man quickly started his explanation.

“Okay, I was with Jack at the beginning but he clearly can’t confirm this since someone snapped his fucking neck. We’ve split up in O2 after doing our tasks and then he must’ve gone with Rae. I just wandered around the map, escaping from the death.”

“Hmm, so not only were you one of the last people to see him alive, but you also admit to not doing your tasks” Y/N said, trying her best to keep her voice steady and stop herself from laughing. She was sure Sykkuno was doing the same thing, they both refused to do any tasks after the lights went off, after all.

“Yeah, but does that already makes me an Imposter? I’m just scared for my life, that’s all.”

“Y/N has some good logic, but I’m not really sure it’s Pewds. I mean, I saw him in Medbay and he really seemed to be just jogging around.” Corpse said, his voice almost immediately doing its magic, as people more or less willingly agreed to skip this round as well. 

“I think it’s Felix. I mean, I haven’t played with him yet, but I have this feeling that he’s just acting.” Y/N said to her chat after muting herself. She went towards Weapons to do another task, seeing Sykkuno’s little character follow her once again, but the doors were suddenly locked and his lime astronaut remained in Cafeteria. “Oh no, Sykkuno” she sighed with a pout on her face, deciding against waiting for him and risking getting her neck snapped. She finished her task in Weapons and moved towards another location, when suddenly Corpse appeared in front of her, coming right out of nowhere. 

“Oh- Corpse, you scared me to death” Y/N breathed a laugh, watching as his character stood still for a couple of seconds, before circling around her white astronaut. Y/N nodded her head with a smile, even though he couldn’t see her, and followed him in Shields, where they found Poki’s dead body. 

“The body is in Shields” Y/N replied right after reporting the body, only to gasp in shock when she realized more than one person was killed. Red crosses decorated not only Poki’s name but were also visible next to Dave and Lily. 

“What the hell?!” Felix all but yelled into his mic, obviously shocked just like everyone else who was still alive. 

“Now that’s... a lot of bodies” Sykkuno mumbled under his breath. 

“Alright, who’s in Shields? Y/N, you said you found the body there, which one?”

“Poki’s, Corpse was there with me” her reply was followed by his short and low hum. 

“Sykkuno, where are you? I didn’t see you anywhere since the last round.” Felix asked, clearly accusing the lime astronaut of being a murderer. 

“I was... doing the wires in electrical, Toast was there for a moment as well.”

“Yeah but I was only searching for the body, so I saw you maybe for a second” Toast replied, building even more suspicions around Sykkuno.

“But- guys, you know I wouldn’t kill two people in one round, let alone four of them.”

“No one says you did that, I only mentioned that you were nowhere to be seen. You could’ve been sabotaging the map for the other Impostor” Felix said nonchalantly.

“Guys, I-”

“It’s him! It must be him!” Rae shouted through her mic. 

“Sykkuno is 100% innocent, I can vouch for him” Y/N’s voice sounded out in everyone’s headphones “We were together since the start of the game and he didn’t kill me, even though he had quite a number of chances to do so.”

“Weren’t you with Corpse this time?” Felix asked suspiciously.

“I was! But at the beginning, I was with Sykkuno, until someone locked him in Cafeteria. That’s when we split up.”

“And you haven’t seen him ever since?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can assure you it was only a matter of time before he’d stab you in the back” Toast concluded, making Sykkuno gasp in confusion.

“Wha- No, I would never do that! Y/N is our guest, I was just making sure she was okay!”

“Sykkuno, simping won’t save your life right now” 

“Wha- I- Guys!” he tried to stutter out some logical explanation “Y/N, don’t believe them!”

“I don’t, I know you’re innocent! C’mon guys, he wouldn’t do it!” 

“Yeah yeah, let’s kick him out. Corpse, who are you voting?” Toast asked, and Y/N could see the I voted sign next to his character. 

“I kinda feel like Felix tries to shift the blame onto Sykkuno. He didn’t even tell his location, and was already throwing accusations on someone else.” Corpse replied after a moment, making the smile widen on Y/N’s face. Someone was finally on her side! 

“That’s because he can’t even explain himself!” Felix exclaimed, voting as well. 

“Besides, I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for whoever locked that door, Y/N would be dead as well!” 

“No, I told you I-!”

“Guys, we have ten seconds to vote. Rae?” 

“I think it’s him as well. He was acting suspiciously since we started this round. I vote Sykkuno”

“But..!” 

“No, Sykkuno...” Y/N whispered with a pout on her lips, when she saw the number of people who voted for her lime friend. 

Sykkuno was ejected. 

“Alright, I’m pretty sure it’s Felix. I saw Rae multiple times and she didn’t kill me, Toast also doesn’t act very Impostor like, but maybe that’s just one of his strategies... Corpse is with me again, I don’t think that’s him, I mean, he followed me around last round, but still didn’t do anything, and even vouched for me and Sykkuno when we were both clearly chilling in comms. It can’t be him... right?” 

 Dead body reported.

 “I just saw Corpse kill Toast, then vent!” Rae’s voice blared through Y/N’s headphones, as she looked in shock at the red cross next to Toast’s name. If not him, then..?

“What?” the accused man asked calmly “That’s a self-report, she’s trying to frame me. You guys can’t possibly believe her.”

“I believe her. I saw you enter the Electrical with Toast, then he’s suddenly dead” Felix said. 

“That’s because she vented in there and killed him.”

“No! I swear, Y/N/N you have to believe me!” she directed her words towards the girl who remained silent during their discussion, processing her accusations over and over in her head. “I was fixing the wires, Toast was doing another task, and then boom! I see Corpse snapping his neck!”

“How could you see that if the lights were off?” Y/N suddenly asked, making Rae cut her own sentence off “No one went to fix them, they were off the entire round.”

Silence. 

“It’s Rae, it must be her” Corpse couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at how small was the mistake which completely blew Rae’s cover. “We’re voting Rae, right Y/N?”

“No! Guys, I mean, let me explain, I-!”

Rae was ejected. 

“Now that was something I didn’t expect. I would’ve never thought it was her, I even suspected that Sykkuno might really have been the other Impostor, but now... It’s just me, Corpse, and Felix. I’m clear, clearly, so it must be one of them. And since Corpse protected me for the past few rounds, there’s no other option than...”

Her eyes suddenly widened when the realization hit her, and she quickly turned around to speed towards the emergency button. Fortunately, no one was around to stop her from calling the meeting.

“Felix.” Y/N started, trying to contain her excitement and sound seriously “Where were you when Sean was killed?”

Neither Corpse of Felix said a word, as it was probably the last question they expected her to ask. Felix cleared his throat, however, and finally replied:

“Y/N, that was literally the beginning of a game. How am I supposed to remember what I did then?”

“Well” she said nonchalantly “I, for example, clearly remember the things you said even when we were in the lobby.”

“What are you implying?” 

“Wasn’t it you, who told everyone that Sean was your number one if you get Impostor?” she asked with a wicked smile on her face. Felix was dumbfounded, he obviously didn’t expect her to pull that card on him, hell, he didn’t even know how she knew about it since she wasn’t even in the call at the time. 

“FELIX” Corpse suddenly broke the silence, simultaneously breaking the said man from his train of thoughts. 

“Okay, first of all- YOU WEREN’T EVEN IN THE CALL WHEN I SAID THAT” he yelled through his mic, making both Y/N and Corpse laugh, as it only confirmed their suspicions. 

“See? You only proved my point.” 

“Oh, fuck’s sake- I was just joking okay?!” he tried to defend himself, but hearing how he couldn’t even contain his own laughter anymore, it was clear he already accepted the defeat. “It wasn’t serious, god damn it!” 

“You know what to do, Y/N” Corpse’s voice asked through her headphones, and surely, she knew exactly what to do.

“C’mon Y/N, that’s not fair! At least let me explain myself!” 

“Bye Felix” she said in an overly dramatic tone before Corpse voted as well. 

Soon enough, the sign VICTORY could be seen on her screen, which made her squeak and joy. This game was really fun, even though she was so scared of being killed first. 

“I knew it! I knew you would figure out it’s him! That son of a bitch who murdered me!” Jack basically yelled out, clearly very happy about the result. 

“Y/N, seriously now, how did you know I’ve said that?” Felix asked without even hiding his surprised tone.

“Let’s just say I might’ve stolen some of your viewers, Felix” she admitted, winking at her webcam, a new wave of comments landing on her chat. “Thanks guys!” 

“Okay, that is rude and not fair!” 

“It helped me win, so I’ve got nothing else to say” Y/N grinned from ear to ear, before muting herself for a moment to finally answer some of the questions from her chat, while the rest took a quick break to eat something or go to the bathroom.

She was halfway through telling the story of how she met Sean when she noticed she got a message from a private discord chat. 

CORPSE: That was really impressive :)

Y/N smiled to herself upon seeing his text and quickly typed out the answer. 

Y/N: Thanks!! I wouldn’t have done that without you though, you stood up for me and Sykkuno and all

Y/N: Also, thanks for protecting me from being murdered ^^

CORPSE: No problem, I knew you were innocent right away. 

CORPSE: Anyway, good game, Sean was right saying that you’re one of the best players

She couldn’t help the blush that arose on her cheeks, it was very sweet of him to say that, even though she didn’t actually do much except for exposing Felix. 

Y/N: I wasn’t an Impostor though, so you didn’t really see much :)

She watched the three dots beside his name, that signaled he was still texting. The chat was completely forgotten, but people seemed to quickly notice that small, shy smile on her lips, and the pink tint decoring her cheeks.

CORPSE: Okay, now I’m intrigued... 

Y/N: Maybe we’ll both be Impostors one day ^^

CORPSE: Can’t wait for that to happen.

Soon enough, they returned to the lobby to begin another game. Y/N glanced at her chat for a second, and the moment she returned her eyes to the game, her jaw basically dropped. 

IMPOSTOR was written in bold letters in the middle of the red screen, right above her name.

Corpse’s little character was standing beside her. 

[hurricanerin]

Not Just One of Your Many Toys 1: Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale/OFC

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS, loss of virginity, power imbalance, general dickishness

Summary: Ransom and Olivia have been thorns in each other’s sides for fifteen years.  They’ve tolerated one another, coaxed each other through major milestones, and trampled on one another’s hearts.  After years spent healing from one of Ransom’s toxic outburst, Olivia finds herself subpoenaed by the Drysdale family as a character witness for his criminal trial.  Their son is out of control, and the one person with the best chance of getting through to him wants absolutely nothing to do with the man.   

NJOoYMT Masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist.

Steamier things are coming, my friends.

Listen. Or kick it retro. You won’t regret it.)

Boston, 2005

 There has never been a moment in my life that I haven’t known exactly who Ransom Drysdale is.  We met in the fall of 2005, right after my dad was promoted with General Electric and my family had moved to Boston from Puerto Rico for his new job. I was 13 and Ransom was 19, and I could’ve told you within 5 minutes of enduring his company that he was a playboy and a Grade A narcissist.  

My parents and his mom, the legendary Linda Drysdale, had closed on our new house the week before.  When my papá had mentioned to our realtor that he had 6 engineer brothers and sisters in PR also looking to move to the Boston area, Linda immediately swooped in and took over the sale.  We had moved into the new house for two days when who showed up on our doorstep with a giant Harry and David gift basket on his mother’s behalf? Ransom.  I’ve never seen my mom so taken with a man so quickly.  It was absolutely nauseating.  

My mom and I had been sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with my little brother when Ransom waltzed in, ruining our meal.  While he charmed my mom, I shooed Gian from the table, stuffed him into his coat and boots and shoved his toast into his hand.  

“You’re gonna miss your bus, vete,” I said with an affectionate push.

He waved me off, but I could see his smile as he scrambled out the door towards his friends.  When I turned around, Mamá was on the phone, distractedly scribbling on a notepad at the center island.  Ransom had seated himself at our table and was examining the gift basket. After retrieving a pear, he rearranged the treats so it looked as if nothing were missing.  Catching my eye, he shot me a grin, took a bite of the fruit and flaunted it in front of me.

“Want some?”

My mom’s groan of frustration cut off my retort as she hung up.  Without missing a beat, Ransom hid the pear behind his leg.

Clipping her beeper to the waist of her skirt, she motioned at my backpack.  “Ol, you need to get your school stuff and hop in the car, I have to go to the hospital early.  I need to drive you; school is on the way.  A patient needs to go into surgery now.”

I scowled and put my hands on my hips. “I’m taking the bus with my friends. You said at this school I could!”

Already gathering her coat and keys, she shook her head.  “I’m sorry, mija.  Not today.  Come on, we need to go.  I can’t leave you alone at home for that long.”

My nose started to sting.  I didn’t want to sit at school alone for an hour and have to explain to my new friends why I wasn’t on the bus like everyone else.

Carefully watching the interaction, Ransom cleared his throat.  “Mrs. Santos, I would be happy to stay with her until her bus comes.  I’m home on break from Yale for the week and would love nothing more than to get to know your daughter,” he offered, radiating charisma.

“Oh Ransom, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Honestly, our house is only a few streets away, so we’re practically neighbors.  It would be no problem.”

She hesitated, glancing from Ransom to her watch. Back home, we didn’t have babysitters. Family played that role.  I couldn’t imagine leaving her 13 year-old home alone with a strange man was high on her list of things to do in the US.

Ransom read the situation well.  “Mrs. Santos, my girlfriend is just at my parents’.  Why don’t I give her a call and the three of us can clean up the kitchen until…,” he motioned at me.

“Olivia,” I snipped.

He didn’t flinch.  “Until Olivia’s bus comes,” he finished with a smile.

“I suppose… that would be alright,” Mamá agreed.  “Your family is so kind!”  Sighing in relief, she snagged me for a kiss goodbye and scurried towards the door.  “Behave, Ol! I’ll see you at dinner,” she shouted over her shoulder.

I listened to the garage door close and turned to find him thumbing through the Harry and David catalogue while dabbing pear juice from his lips with a napkin.  I glared at him for a minute.

“You and your mom are just being nice to my parents because I have a lot of aunts and uncles moving here,” I accused.

He looked up, laughing in surprise.  Nodding his head to the side, he shrugged a shoulder, “You’re not wrong.  Did they tell you that?”

“No, but I can tell.”

A soft ping sounded and he patted his pockets, pulling out a phone from his jacket.  He continued nibbling at the pear until all that was left was the core, then absently dumped it on my abandoned breakfast plate.  I walked closer and peered at the screen in his hands while he typed furiously.

“Do you have any games on your phone?” I asked.

“This isn’t a phone, it’s a Blackberry.”

“Do you have any games on your Blackberry?  Like Snake?  My mom’s phone has Snake.”

“No, it doesn’t have Snake,” he snapped as he pulled a headset from his jacket pocket and plugged it into the headphone jack. Almost immediately it rang and he slipped the earpiece on, pushing me.

“Jackson?”  He sighed at me in irritation and turned away.  “Yeah, come up this weekend.  They’re two Norwegian bitches, semi-professional skiers or something. Super hot.  They’re in the US to train but stopping to vacation in New England or whatever.”  He ran his finger along the wicker of the gift basket while he listened to his friend respond.  With an exasperated sigh, he shook his head.  “No, no, we don’t need to take them sailing for them to put out.”

I stared at him, my jaw dropping.  I knew it was rude to both stare and eavesdrop, but I had never met anyone who was so blatantly awful.

“They’ll fuck us because I’m crazy rich, bro, don’t worry,” Ransom chuckled.  He leaned back against the table and rolled his eyes as his friend prattled on, until his gaze landed on me.  His eyes widened.

“Shit,” he muttered.  “Jax, I’m not alone.  I gotta go.”

He yanked the earpiece off and tossed it on the table, leaning towards me with his elbows on his knees.  

I scowled.  “You don’t really have a girlfriend who’s coming over.”

“Olivia,” he said with a practiced smile that actually reached his beaming eyes.  Ignoring my statement, he took me in for a moment, cataloguing my appearance as his gaze came to rest on my neck.

“That’s such a pretty necklace you’re wearing, did you pick it out yourself?”

My insides tingled a little.  I didn’t like-him-like-him or anything, but he did look like a prince and he had complemented the starfish necklace my parents had given me for my birthday last summer.  It was my favorite.

“It was a present from my mom and dad, from when I turned 13 last year.”

“Christ,” he muttered under his breath.  Something about me being a kid.  I didn’t know what that meant, because he made an angry face. But that quickly went away and then his prince face was back.

“That was my friend Jackson on the phone,” he motioned at his Blackberry with his thumb, “We go to college together.  We joke around a lot,” he chuckled, rubbing my shoulder. “You do that with your friends, too, right?  Tell jokes, mess around?”

Confused and skeptical, I nodded.

“And you don’t always tell those jokes to your parents, because they don’t understand them.  You keep them between you and your friends.”

I raised my brow, trying to look formidable.  “You don’t want me to tell my mom what you were talking about.”

The friendliness in his expression melted away, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards instead.  “Exactly.”

 To this day, I wish I could say I stuck up for myself; that I told my mom how much of a jerk he was.  How he was a deceptive, womanizing liar who didn’t deserve an ounce of our time.  But, I didn’t.  Instead, I stooped to Ransom’s level.

My family had money; my mom was a physician and my dad a senior engineer for GE.  We lived very comfortably.  We had spent several months in the US in an apartment before finding the house, during which they had been earning American salaries and making more than ever.  But, both of my parents came from humble means, sent a lot of money back home to their own parents and grandparents, and did not appreciate the materialism I faced every day at the private school they sent me to.

And Ransom had… a lot of money.  He had made that clear over the phone.  I’m not proud to admit that I requested the Tiffany heart tag bracelet I had seen other girls wearing at school in exchange for my silence.  I’m even less proud that, after scoffing at my proposal, Ransom walked me right past the Tiffany & Co. on Newbury Street and in to Cartier and had me pick out a bracelet there instead.  He said he hadn’t bought Tiffany for a girl since he was my age and that he wasn’t lowering himself.  I still have the bracelet buried in my jewelry box, though I never put it on.  Considering its origins, it feels dirty to wear, but I can’t bear to part with it.

 Boston, 2007

 In 2007, we found out my dad had a mistress.  He had paid for her to move over from PR and had been supporting her in Boston for two years.  That would’ve flown in PR, but in the US, my mom’s friends wouldn’t stand for it. (Especially the female divorce lawyer next door.)  That was more or less the end of my dad’s presence in my life.  There’s a chance he might walk me down the aisle one day, but that’s only if Mamá insists on a super Catholic wedding.  

My dad leaving didn’t affect me like it did my mom and Gian. I had my friends and tennis, but Gian was younger and quieter; he and my dad spent a lot of time with little robot projects and those LEGO sets and I could tell he missed him.  Mamá was lonely at home, too; she and my dad had been together since high school.  She had spent a lot of time taking care of him, despite her working 60 hour weeks.

A few of my dad’s sisters hung around as moral support, but Papá eventually pressured them until they stopped coming to see us.  However, there was an additional isolated party within our vicinity who also needed a group of humans to latch onto; someone with the capacity to fill the role of both quasi-paternal figure (figure, not role model), and platonic spouse.

I’d seen Ransom with Mrs. Drysdale; at best, she spoiled her son.  At worst, she placated him with money, demeaned and dismissed him.  Even I didn’t appreciate how she treated him and most days I didn’t like him.  After graduating last in his class from Yale, Ransom took the year off to get away from her. Not a normal “take the year off” where you travel to learn about yourself, or work, or anything like that. Instead, Ransom bought property in the Maldives and imported $500,000 worth of Dom Perignon—the Rose Gold kind—, and flew in ballerinas from Moscow while telling his mom he was joining the Peace Corps for a girl.  When there was fraud on his black AmEx and he had to phone home for help, there was hell to pay when the call came from not Mongolia.  Linda cut him off and kicked him out.

For six months, but still.  This was Ransom.

My mother, bless her heart, would have absorbed all children needing a home if she could.  And, though he was 21, Ransom definitely qualified as such a child.  I honestly think Ransom needed the mothering, too. Growing up with a nanny paid to give you care is not a replication of a mother’s love, which he never had in the first place.

Ransom always showered Mamá with attention, asking how she was with utter sincerity while maintaining direct eye contact, thanking her for the work she did as a cardiac surgeon, and other general sycophantic niceties.  I was terrified that would change for the worst after he moved in, despite their generous age gap.  A freshly divorced woman could’ve been new prey for him.  It wasn’t that she didn’t know who and what he was—she was under no illusions.  But she had a soft spot for the broken bad boy with mommy issues and indulged him.

I watched him like a hawk when he was around her, but he never made a move.  He certainly let her wait on him; she cooked him food from scratch and listened to him talk while she cleaned up the kitchen, but he was never salacious.  I still give him props for that.  It would have been an entertaining game for him, one he would’ve easily won.  

It helped that he was gone half the time.  He still had his car, keys to the Hamptons house and access to his friends’ jets and properties.   I’m pretty sure Richard was also slipping him $50k a month because Ransom rebuilt his wardrobe pretty quickly.

I will admit I was slightly… antagonistic towards him during the beginning of his time with us.  I may have picked a few fights.  He wanted to watch Sin City because of Jessica Alba; I wanted to watch the Corpse Bride.  He left questionable-looking hair trimmings in the shower drain and you can bet I was pounding on his door.  He gave me that look when I thought I had dressed nicely, and I may or may not have launched myself at him.  But, near the middle of his stay, we learned to co-exist, and even had some decent conversations.  I chilled out when I saw how he was with Gian.  

I’m not sure Mamá ever officially asked Ransom to step up while he was living with us, I think the only conditions she had was that he tip the cleaning people an extra $150 for how bad his room was, not have his douchey friends over past 10pm, and no sleepovers with the opposite sex.  But, it was obvious to everyone under our roof that Gian looked to Ransom for companionship.  And, to my utter surprise, Ransom kind of delivered.  He took Gian to the U.S. Open and up to Lake Champlain to golf a few times, and they’d hang out at the house when Ransom was home.  

Then, one day I heard him call Gian his charity project to his friends as they sat out on the porch.  The second he came inside I punched him in the arm over that.  The weirdest part about Ransom and his awful behavior is that he only kinds of means it.  I mean, the idea was there, he had had the thought that Gian was less fortunate than him and needed his help.  But I also know he genuinely loved my little brother and was making spending time with him out to be a bigger deal than it really was.

Six months to the day, Ransom had a moving company at our doorstep at 8am sharp.  He only had a few hanging wardrobes worth of clothes to move into his new apartment; all of the furniture was being delivered by the dealer, but the man couldn’t lower himself to drive his own U-Haul.  By that time, I had developed an appreciation for Ransom.  It was kind of nice to have someone older to talk to, even though he had no conception of what real life was like.  He was okay.  I didn’t miss sharing a dwelling space with him, but I did kind of miss him.

 Boston, Fall 2009

 That fall, I was 18 and a senior at the Winsor School and Ransom was 25 and bullshitting his way through his Master’s of Science in Business Analytics at Princeton.  I preferred not to ask questions regarding his attendance or grades.  I figured the less I knew, the less I could be implicated in some scandal involving the university and bribery.

High school wasn’t a great time in my life. The kids at Winsor were spoiled and came from generations of overachievers.  You could say there were a lot of Ransoms, I suppose; self-serving, arrogant, brutal, conceited, rich kids.  I’m not saying I didn’t share some of those traits, I knew I was fortunate, but I liked to think I was a decent person.  As a result, I was relatively lonely.  I had the varsity tennis team, and that fit my basic  need for socialization.  But not once did I ever entertain the thought of a boyfriend.

As the years progressed, I waited for the mutual attraction for my peers to arrive.  It never did. At that age, even if boys had adopted the air of sophistication they had seen modeled at home and had the ability to charm, they severely lacked in a different department, like intelligence or maturity.  I shut down every advance without a second thought and didn’t look back.

Until, that is, my Senior year.  As leaving home was becoming a reality, I decided I didn’t want to go to college a virgin.  I just didn’t.  Things happen in college, things you don’t always have control over, and I liked control.  I liked control very much.  And I wanted to have control over when and how I gave it up.  And I wasn’t giving it up to some 18 year old I had dated for a three months who couldn’t kiss and also didn’t have the experience to help me enjoy the process.

But I knew someone who did.

I smirked as a key sounded in the lock, Ransom had never given his back from a few years ago.

“Ol?” his voice echoed up the stairs.

“In the kitchen!”

The old stairs creaked as he ascended, heading straight for the refrigerator without even looking at me.

“Hey,” he nodded in greeting.

“Hey.”  For the first time in my life, I was nervous talking to him.  I’d texted him, asking if he could stop by, which wasn’t out of character.  He usually popped in at least once a month to return a book, pick up a sweater he forgot that my mom had washed or have dinner with us.  He lingered, even after moving out.  The flight from Princeton to Boston was only an hour, and it meant a lot to Gian, to all of us, really, that Ransom still visited.

While Ransom dug through the fridge, pulling out some leftover chorizo, I set about throwing together some protein smoothies for us.  He had left a container of ridiculously expensive something something collagen protein at our house the last time he was there and it was expiring soon, so I split the remainder between us.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw him fuss with the microwave.

I raised a brow.  “You know how to use kitchen appliances?”

He took an exaggerated bite of a sausage slice. “Selectively,” he winked.

I bit my cheek to keep from laughing.  Ransom’s “selective” helplessness didn’t need encouragement.

I think what we worked in was companionable silence, but I’m not positive.  I was pretty geared up, so it was hard to tell.  Settling at the table, I laid plates out for both of us, chewing my lip.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“I can’t get you into Yale early decision, but I can get you in,” he said as he reached for his smoothie.

I rolled my eyes.  “I’ve already gotten into Brown on my own, which was my first choice, thank you. What I need is… different.”

“What is it?  I’ve got cash with me.”

“Ransom!  Listen to me. Just let me ask my question.”

“Okay!” he chuckled, his eyes gleaming as he swirled his glass.

“Okay,” I repeated, my heart pounding in my chest. I made myself look him in the eye. All of a sudden I wanted to cry? What if he said no?  What if he laughed?  What if he never talked to me again?

“Ol, you’re getting pale.  You look like you’re about to ask me to skin a cat.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled, seconds away from losing my nerve. I inhaled deeply, folding my hands on the table in front of me and sitting up straight.

“Ransom,” I began.

“Olivia,” he countered, his face comically serious.

“I want you to take my virginity.  Now that I’m 18—.”

“Hah—You what?  No you don’t, Olivia, you don’t—.”

“I do.”

“Ehhhh,” he made a pained face and shook his head.  “I mean, what do you mean by virginy? What have you done before?”

“Nothing.”

“But you’ve given head though, right?”

I tried to mask my embarrassment with a look of disdain.

When Ransom gaped in surprise, I kicked him under the table.

“A handjob?”

“I said nothing,” I bit out.

The corner of his mouth pulled upward and he tilted his head, his eyes narrowing.  “What about like… getting off with each other?”

I shook my head.  

“Sexting?”

“There’s no one I want to sext.”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“But like…”

“I’ve never touched or been touched, Ransom.  I’ve never seen a man naked, okay?”

He sighed.  “I don’t do virgins.  It’s a personal policy.  Especially someone like you who has absolutely no experience.”

That stung, but I kept trying.  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No—.”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“Ol, I don’t date—.”

“Ransom, this is exactly the type of arrangement you want!” I hissed.

“This should be something you do with a boyfriend, someone your age who you care about and who cares about you.”

I groaned and stormed into the living room, plopping into an easy chair.  

“I don’t want a boyfriend.  I’m going to Brown in the fall, so dating someone now would be pointless. And in Providence, between Chi Omega, studying, volunteering, and AMSA, I just won’t have time for a relationship.”

Ransom couldn’t suppress a laugh as he tailed after me.  “You’re as heartless as I am.”

“I’m not heartless,” I argued.  “I’m practical.”

He gave me a patronizing smile.  “You’ve never done this before, you don’t know how you’ll feel afterwards.  It’s sex. Girls get attached.  I just can’t do that, babe.”

"You can!  Ransom, you can.  I won’t get attached.  I’ll leave you alone after.  I won’t text you for a month.  Please? I—,” my cheeks flamed as I looked down at my hands.  Bickering and bantering with Ransom was easy.  Acting like I disliked him was easy.  But being vulnerable with him?  That was terrifying.  “I want it to be you,” I whispered.  “I don’t trust anyone else.”

With a sigh, he perched on the arm of my chair.

“I’m going back to Princeton on Sunday.  Even if we did it tonight, we wouldn’t have 48 hours together.”

“I don’t care!” I slapped the seat of the chair. “What if—what if I get roofied and lose it to some guy and don’t even remember it?  Or—or someone, you know… one in every four women faces sexual assault in college…”

That perpetual, devious gleam in Ransom’s eyes disappeared.  Something brutal and vicious replaced it.

  “I’d kill him.  I’d kill anyone who touched you like that.”

My chest tightened.  I’d never seen him that serious before, not even when he argued with his mom.  It was a little terrifying.  But, I had carried pepper spray on me for years since moving to the city and I already knew my parents were sending me to college with a SipChip, not that I’d be going to parties anyway.  I tried another angle.

  “I know I’m not the girls you normally sleep with—blonde, white, with yachts and horses and trust funds—

Darkness cast over his face.

“Olivia,” he interrupted.  Brow creasing, Ransom lifted his hand near my face, then hesitated. With a growl, he cupped my jaw. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, brushing the knuckle of the opposite hand against my cheek.  “And trust funds are so mundane.”

I rose from the chair and leaned against his leg. “Then why don’t you want me?”  It took everything in me to keep my voice from breaking.

Ransom shifted uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ol, I’ve known you since you were a kid.  I can’t—I just don’t see you that way.”

“You still see me as a child?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Butterflies flapped madly in my belly, but I held my breath and stepped forward between his legs until our chests were pressed together, trapping my hand between us at his groin.  Praying that I applied what I had read correctly, I timidly felt for his cock. He grunted when I wrapped my hand around the outline of its shape and followed it with a shy stroke.

“I am not a child,” I husked in my best seductress voice.

“You said you’d never touched or been touched,” he accused through clenched teeth.

Both proud and embarrassed, I ducked my head. “I don’t like entering a situation unprepared.  I read a lot and watched some videos.”  Realizing the implications of my statement, I turned beet red.  “For research, I mean!”

That earned me a genuine smile.  Sliding one hand around my waist he pulled me closer, then used the other to firmly guide my palm over his half erect cock, rubbing it back and forth.  I blushed as I felt him harden under my fingers.

“What else did you research?”

"Stuff,” I mumbled.

Rubbing his thumb along my hipbone, his gaze fell to his lap, watching my hand work over his erection.  Then his eyes deviated to my front, trailing up my belly to my chest, which was, admittedly, heaving, and slowly made their way to my face. Looking someone in the eye had never made me clench down there before.  It was unexpected, but not unappreciated.

I could see Ransom thinking, his eyes flicking back and forth between mine as he reasoned with himself.

“You need to think this over, you need to really consider what you’re asking me and decide that’s what you want,” he murmured, his voice rough.

My pussy throbbed at the sound, and it took extra concentration not to let my eyes close.

“When have I ever made a rash decision about something this important?  I started thinking about this a year ago.”

He exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.  “Of course you did.”

When his hips gave an involuntary thrust against my palm, he gently pulled my wrist away.

“That’s enough for now.”

Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.  “Did I do it wrong?  Is that a no?”

He massaged his closed eyelids with his index finger and thumb, exhaling shakily.  “It should be a no.  A good man would say no.”  

Drawing me against him once more, I whimpered as he ground his cock against my belly.  “But I’ve never been a good man, have I, Olivia?”

He didn’t give me an opportunity to respond. The kiss was firm, but delicate. No tongues or biting or slipping or sliding, just lips pressed together, gently massaging.  When he sucked at my lower lip I surprised both of us with a soft moan, causing him to bury his hand in my hair and tilt my head for better access.

I completely lost track of everything, because the next moment of consciousness I had was gasping for air as he pulled away. My fingers were tangled in his hair, my hand clutching his sweater like it was a lifeline, and his thigh was situated between both of mine, applying pressure to my clit that was making me see stars.  Now my mouth was wet, but I didn’t care.

Once I could see straight, I dove for his mouth again, but he stopped me with an unyielding grip on my chin.

“Change,” he rumbled.  “We’ll go to dinner at Menton, I’ll pull some strings and get us a table.  Then back to my apartment.”

I squinted, still reeling from the kiss. “We’re not going to Menton first, that makes it sound like a date.  This isn’t a date, we have one mission to accompli—.”

He gaze grew cold.  “If we do this, we’re doing it my way.  You’re going to listen to me.  I’m in charge.”

My eyes flicked back and forth between his as my entire face and neck glowed pink.  

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Say ‘Yes, sir,’” he corrected me.

“Yes, sir,” I repeated softly.

The pleased smile that spread across his lips gave me a warm feeling in my belly.

“Tonight, I’m going to destroy your pussy,” he whispered against my ear, sucking at my lobe, “I’m going to make you come like a whore.”  Moving to my other side, he spoke softly again, his warm breath against my cheek making me shiver.  “Your future husband will resent me for the rest of your lives, because I’m going to ruin you for any other man.”  Nuzzling my nose with the tip of his, he kissed the corner of my mouth.  “And you’re going to love it.”

I couldn’t help myself.  I was throbbing, there was pressure building in my belly and the man had barely laid a hand on me.  With a high pitched whimper, I sought his mouth again, but he wrapped his huge hand around my throat and shook his head as he held me back.

“Go.  Pick out something nice to wear.  Something you feel pretty in.”

Mouth dry, I nodded.  He caught my arm as I went to leave.

“And Olivia?  Not a scrap of clothing underneath.”

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[angelofthequeers]

Ladybug and Reine Nuit: Chapter 6

The Bubbler

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

@miraculousl4dybug tagged as requested!

Part 5 | Part 7

“Don’t waste your time,” Adrien’s saying as Marinette and Alya draw level with him and Nino outside the school at lunchtime. “He’s not gonna change his mind.”

“Who’s not gonna change whose mind?” Alya says.

“His dad.” Nino grumpily blows bubbles with his wand. “Won’t let him have a b-day party.”

“Wait, really?” Marinette says. “That’s a load of crap! Did he let you have one last year, at least?”

“I didn’t have any friends last year,” Adrien points out.

“Oh. Right.” With a sigh and a small smile, Marinette holds out the gift that she’s holding. “Well, happy fourteenth birthday, Adrien. Even if you can’t have a party, at least we care.”

“You got me a present?” Adrien stares down at the blue wrapping paper. “You didn’t have to do that! We’ve only been friends for a few weeks!”

“We’re still friends,” Marinette says. “It’s not much but –”

“Anything from you will be the best present ever.” Adrien’s cheeks redden. “Uh – I mean – I know I’ll like it – because it’s from you – ugh –”

Marinette squints at Alya, who’s smirking behind her hand, but decides to just let it go. Adrien carefully peels off the wrapping paper, as delicate as though he was defusing a bomb, and his mouth falls open when he sees the blue knitted scarf inside.

“Handmade,” Alya chimes in, still smirking. “She nearly had an aneurism trying to figure out what colour would suit you.”

“I just remembered that you said you’d be happy to model anything I made, so…I thought you’d like it if I made you something for yourself,” Marinette says. “It’s a little plain, and it’s nowhere near the quality of the clothes you wear, but…I hope you like it.”

“Like it? Like it?” Adrien immediately wraps the scarf around his neck, then crushes Marinette in a tight hug. “I love it! Thank you, Marinette! I can’t remember the last time someone got me such a personal gift!”

“Ack – it’s nothing –” Marinette chokes. She gulps in air when Adrien finally lets her go, staring down at his new scarf as though it’s a piece of Heaven around his neck.

“Happy birthday, dude.” Nino presents Adrien with a medium-sized rectangle wrapped in green paper. Adrien beams when he uncovers a pair of headphones. “Best ones I could get! I know you could just get them yourself, but you don’t know headphones like I do.”

“I love them! Thanks, Nino!”

“Here you go, birthday boy,” Alya says, holding out a small red box. Before Adrien can take it, however, Alya is knocked aside by an unpleasantly familiar yellow figure, who proceeds to attach herself to Adrien.

“Happy birthday, Adrien!” Chloé chirps, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. “Mwah!”

“Thanks, Chloé,” Adrien says. “But you kind of pushed Alya –”

“Don’t worry about her. Did you get the gift I sent you?”

“Bitch,” Alya mutters from the ground.

“If you’re not going to be nicer than I don’t want your gift.” Adrien pushes Chloé away from him, while Nino helps Alya up. “Thanks for the birthday wishes, Chloé.”

“But –!”

“Here you go, Adrien,” Alya says loudly, holding her present out again for him to take. It turns out to be a Ladybug phone charm, which he delightedly attaches to his phone while Alya shows him the matching one on her phone. “Now we can be Ladybug besties.”

Marinette’s cheeks warm at that.

“Eh, I’m more of a Reine Nuit kinda guy,” Nino says, showing his Reine Nuit phone charm, which is black with a green paw on it.

“Uh, hello? I’m still here!” Chloé demands. She’s ignored.

“Same here!” Marinette holds up her phone to show her own Reine Nuit charm. “Ladybug’s cool and all, but she’d be nothing without Reine Nuit!”

Alya’s face flushes for a reason that Marinette can’t possibly put her finger on.

“Well, that’s my ride,” Adrien sighs when his car pulls up next to them. “Photoshoot. Later, guys.”

“Adrien –”

“Chloé, if you’re not gonna be nice to my friends then you can buzz off!” Scowling, Adrien gets into his car, leaving a stunned Marinette to hurry on to the bakery before Chloé recovers enough to throw a loud tantrum, while Alya heads back into the school and Nino heads in the opposite direction.

.

A couple of weeks ago, Alya might have totally freaked out at the sight of a gigantic purple bubble snatching up Ms Mendeleiev as she scolds two boys in the courtyard. Now, though? She just sighs and ducks away into a nearby empty classroom to transform, slamming the door shut just in time to avoid a bubble coming after her. Honestly, akumas have gone from awe-inspiring and surreal to just an everyday inconvenience, and this is only the third akuma that she’s ever seen.

“Go away, I’m getting my beauty sleep!” Plagg complains when Alya opens her bag.

“You’ll need another ten thousand years of that, then,” Alya says. “Plagg, claws out!”

In a flash of green light, Alya is replaced by Reine Nuit, who darts out of the room and back to the courtyard just in time to see her classmates caught in a massive bubble. The person behind the bubble is…absolutely hideous. Whoever this Hawkmoth is, Reine Nuit is going to be having very strong words about colour coordination, because blue skin with a bright red cropped shirt and yellow accents? Ugh. Especially with the black around his eyes, the ridiculous red stalk on his head, and the red, blue, and yellow leg warmers. At least his pants are black and not another outlandish colour. And at least there’s no green in there; Reine Nuit’s pride is sufficiently intact with the knowledge that this akuma hasn’t jacked her secondary colour.

“Come on, dudes!” the akuma says in an awfully familiar voice. “We’re gonna have a party for Adrien and it’s gonna be rockin’!”

Reine Nuit’s eyes widen. Nino? How the hell did Nino even end up akumatised in the first place? Probably over Adrien not being able to have a birthday party, judging by how he’s currently abducting their classmates to celebrate.

“Hey!” Reine Nuit leaps into the centre of the courtyard. “Let them go, Nino!”

“It’s Bubbler now!” Nino declares. “And you’ll be Adrien’s guest of honour!”

Reine Nuit dodges the first two bubbles that Bubbler sends easily. She bats another away with her baton, then leaps off a nearby pillar to narrowly avoid a fourth. But she’s not the lucky hero here; Bubbler’s next bubble catches her, knocking her onto her face as it floats up to join the bubble with her classmates.

“This is gonna be the best party ever!” Bubbler says, rising into the air with his captives and soaring towards Adrien’s mansion. Reine Nuit scowls and rolls onto her back so that she can cross her arms. That little shit Plagg had been right when he’d called her impulsive and brawny. If she tries hard enough, she can just imagine his smug smirk, but doing that makes her want to rip her own eyes out, so she forces her brain in another direction.

How is she going to get out of this? She can’t use her Cataclysm unless she wants to plummet to her doom, what with how high in the sky they are. And besides, there’s no guarantee that she’d manage to get away from Bubbler, and then she’ll be stuck timing out and revealing her identity. No, the best thing she can do for now is wait for Ladybug.

In the Agreste courtyard, tables of food and a DJ station have already been set up; clearly Bubbler’s doing before coming to kidnap the party guests. He frees the students from their bubble, but keeps Reine Nuit trapped next to the DJ station, no doubt so that he can keep an eye on her.

“Get ready!” Bubbler orders when the mansion doors start to open. As soon as Adrien emerges, the guests start to cheer and wish him a happy birthday while side-eyeing Bubbler and his giant bubble wand.

“Hooray, yay, happy birthday,” Reine Nuit deadpans, crossing one leg over the other while reclining in her bubble. May as well make herself comfortable until Ladybug arrives.

“Hey, hey, hey, birthday boy!” Bubbler booms. “Guess what? Daddy’s gone! While the cat’s away, the mice will play!”

Adrien’s eyes widen. “Nino?” That’s as far as he gets before a red yo-yo wraps around his waist and sends him flying past the crowd and straight into Ladybug’s arms, where she’s perched on a low fence.

“Hey!” Bubbler whips out his bubble wand. “Give me back my bro!”

“Sorry, but the party’s over!” Ladybug meets Reine Nuit’s eyes and winks. “I’m taking the birthday boy out!” She turns and leaps away with Adrien. Bubbler snarls and zooms after her in a burst of bubbles, leaving Reine Nuit unsupervised at last.

“Cataclysm!” Reine Nuit pops her bubble and lands in an awesome superhero crouch, while the party guests (minus Chloé) cheer. Reine Nuit’s eyes dart around in search of food to refuel Plagg when she times out, and her face lights up at the sight of a massive cheese platter on one of the tables, with – thank god! – Camembert. She runs over and grabs the plate, then salutes the party guests. “Gotta split! Thanks for the snack!”

Her ring beeps as soon as she rounds a corner, so she says, “Claws in,” and lets Plagg out. He falls into her free hand, groaning dramatically and swooning.

“I’m ever so hungry!” he moans. “How will I go on? I – Camembert!”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up,” Alya says as Plagg devours the cheese platter. “Ladybug needs my help.”

“Gouda’s real nice,” Plagg says thoughtfully. “Not as good as Camembert, but it’s still got that delicious taste of –”

“Plagg!”

.

“I gotta say, this is the best birthday present ever!” Adrien says as Ladybug hops and swings through Paris with Bubbler on her tail. “Besides the scarf my friend made me, of course.”

Ladybug fights back her wide smile at Adrien’s words. Instead, she says, “I’ll make sure to gift-wrap it next year!” and takes a sharp right to avoid Bubbler’s bubbles, making Adrien clutch her around the neck even tighter.

“Give me back the birthday boy!” Bubbler shouts. “You’re, like, totally ruining the party, dude!”

“Then bring back the adults!” Ladybug calls over her shoulder.

“Never! Adults are boring! All they do is boss us around!”

“Kids need adults!” Ladybug throws her yo-yo and swings in a wide arc to land behind Bubbler, then run back the way they came. Bubbler skids to a halt in mid-air and resumes chasing after her. “Adults look after kids!”

“Most of them, anyway,” Adrien mutters rather bitterly.

“Ugh, you wanna be an adult? Then go and join them!”

In her attempt to dodge Bubbler’s next attack, Ladybug slips on a roof tile and goes flying over the fence of the park, screaming. She instinctively wraps herself around Adrien and braces herself to take the brunt of the impact, since she’s the one with the super suit that protects her bones and squishy parts and Adrien isn’t. As it is, he’s still groaning when they finally stop rolling.

“Adrien!” Ladybug dives to protect Adrien again but she’s too late; Bubbler’s bubble captures him and lifts him into the air, too high for Ladybug to risk trying to pop the bubble in case she can’t catch him and he ends up breaking his neck.

“Just chill there, bro,” Bubbler says to Adrien, then looks at Ladybug. “As for you, you’re gonna learn that what goes up doesn’t always go down!”

“Ms Mendeleiev would disagree,” Ladybug says. “Isn’t that one of the three Newtonian laws?”

“I’m a rainbow guy who can blow magic bubbles to trap people,” Bubbler deadpans. “What part of this do you think follows science, dude?”

“…That’s actually a good point. Gah!” Ladybug ducks to avoid a surprise bubble attack.

“Stand still, will you?”

“Why would I willingly stand still and let you catch me?”

God, what she wouldn’t give for Reine Nuit’s help right now. Bubbler’s sending attack after attack, wearing her down, giving her no chance to retaliate unless she wants to risk a bubble to the face. She can’t even use her Lucky Charm in case Reine Nuit turns up and she then has to come up with a whole new plan.

“Ladybug! No!” Adrien cries when Bubbler sends out a swarm of green bubbles that surround Ladybug and then hone in on her. She squeezes her eyes shut, expecting to go flying at any moment…but that moment never comes.

“Ugh, seriously?” Bubbler whines as Ladybug opens her eyes. She can’t help the wide grin that spreads across her face at the sight of Reine Nuit in front of her, staff in front of her, clearly having deflected the green bubble attack for Ladybug. “You again?”

“You left me,” Reine Nuit seethes, “in a bubble.”

“That’s…kinda my job, dude. I’m the Bubbler.” A purple mask outline appears over Bubbler’s face, and Ladybug and Reine Nuit exchange frowns. What does that mean? “I know, I know, Hawkdude.”

“Hawkmoth can speak to them?” Reine Nuit mutters.

“Makes sense,” Ladybug murmurs back. “Why turn someone into a supervillain if you can’t keep track of them?”

“Give me your Miraculouses!” Bubbler demands, holding out his hand. “Or Adrien won’t get his super cool party that he totally deserves!”

“Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I want a party from Nino,” Adrien says, his phone out to record the confrontation from inside his bubble. Of course. “Not a supervillain made by some guy with zero fashion sense.”

“I know I look like a douchebag,” Bubbler says. “But I still got powers!” He shoots a jet of red bubbles at Ladybug and Reine Nuit, who leap behind a tree and a bush respectively to dodge the attack, then leap out to dive at Bubbler together. He smirks and summons a bubble to lift him out of the way, resulting in Ladybug and Reine Nuit colliding head-on and crumpling to the ground in a groaning heap.

“Maybe you should Lucky Charm it,” Reine Nuit moans, trying to untangle herself from Ladybug’s legs. She winces when Ladybug accidentally kicks her in the head. “Ow!”

“Seriously?” Bubbler says. “You guys are pathetic.” With a wave of his bubble wand, he has them trapped in a bubble together and floating metres off the ground, only to sigh when the purple mask reappears over his face. “You think I don’t know what I’m doing, dude? Just wait for ‘em to run out of air, then I can grab their things without a fight.” A pause. “Yeah, I might look hideous but I do have good ideas.”

“I think you’re right,” Ladybug says, pushing herself up. “Lucky Charm!”

“Okay, wow, I’m glad I didn’t get the earrings,” Reine Nuit says when Ladybug is given a ladybug-patterned long-sleeved shirt. “Although to be fair, that is still more fashionable than what that guy’s wearing.”

“Hmm.” Ladybug frowns as she looks around, her mind frantically working overtime to try and concoct a plan to get the akuma’s bubble wand, which is no doubt where the nasty akuma is hiding. Her eyes land on Reine Nuit, a nearby tree, Adrien’s bubble, and then Bubbler. “Got it! Reine Nuit, I need you to get us out of here and then make him go near that tree. Use Adrien as bait!”

“You already have a plan?” Reine Nuit says incredulously. “It’s only been, like, two seconds! Whatever. Cataclysm!”

Once they’re free from the bubble, Reine Nuit heads for Adrien and uses her staff to propel his bubble in the direction of the tree that Ladybug had indicated. With a growl, Bubbler follows and shoots a jet of bubbles at Reine Nuit, and Ladybug takes advantage of the intense battle between her partner and the villain to scale the tree without being noticed. She holds the shirt open from the bottom, then leaps out of the tree to crash on top of Bubbler with a bellow. Just as planned, the shirt slips over his head and pins his arms to his sides, rendering his bubble wand useless. Ladybug hums as she ties the sleeves around Bubbler to make the shirt stay, then easily pries the wand from his hand.

“No more evildoing for you, little akuma,” she says, snapping the bubble wand to release the purple butterfly, which she snags with her yo-yo. Once it’s purified and is flapping off into the distance, Reine Nuit hands Ladybug the shirt that she’d yanked off Bubbler, and Ladybug smiles at her partner as she takes it and throws it up into the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

“This is so cool! I was supervillain bait!” Adrien cries, dancing on the spot when the healing ladybugs deposit him on the ground after dissolving his bubble.

“Wow, you really are sheltered,” Reine Nuit comments dryly.

“Like you wouldn’t have been the same if you hadn’t been a superhero,” Ladybug teases. Reine Nuit snorts.

“Okay, point.”

With the damage undone, Bubbler falls to his knees and his hideous outfit melts into purple-black nothingness to reveal Nino.

“How’d I get here?” he blinks, looking around with furrowed eyebrows.

“You were an akuma! You totally abducted me and everything!” Adrien says.

“Pound it!” Ladybug and Reine Nuit chorus, doing their fist-bump.

“Sorry, dude,” Nino says glumly. “I probably ruined the whole day for you.”

“Are you kidding?” Adrien says gleefully. “Best. Birthday. Ever!”

“Alright, let’s get the birthday boy back home,” Ladybug says. She scoops Adrien up bridal style and turns to Reine Nuit. “Are you okay to take Nino back to school?”

“You bet!” Reine Nuit gives her a thumbs-up and then approaches Nino, kneeling to be on eye level with him. “Don’t feel bad, okay? I mean, there are way worse reasons to become an akuma than wanting to celebrate a friend’s birthday.”

“But I’m the one who got upset,” Nino says.

“Hey, this is Hawkdouche’s fault. Not yours. Don’t ever think that feeling things is wrong.”

“I think she’s got it well covered,” Ladybug says. With a flick of her wrist, she’s swinging out of the park and through the streets in the direction of the Agreste mansion, Adrien whooping and holding on tight. Once they land in the mansion courtyard, now free of party guests and DJ equipment, Ladybug sets Adrien down.

“Thanks for saving my friend, Ladybug,” Adrien says, scratching the back of his neck. Ladybug smiles.

“It’s what I do.” On impulse, she quickly kisses his cheek, giggling at how his face immediately flushes dark red. “Happy birthday, Adrien.” Then she’s off, swinging through Paris to get back to the bakery before she transforms back.

.

“There you are!” Marinette hugs Nino when he and Adrien are back at school at the end of lunch. “Are you alright? I heard you got akumatised!”

“Yeah,” Nino sighs. “I was super bummed that Adrien’s dad wouldn’t let him party. But Reine Nuit told me not to blame myself.”

“She’s right, you know,” Alya says from behind Marinette. “It’s not like anyone actually wants one of those icky butterflies in their head.”

“Did your father at least get you a birthday present if he’s not letting you have a party?” Marinette says. Adrien shrugs.

“A pen. Same as the last three years.” His face brightens. “But I got to swing around Paris with Ladybug and get up close to an akuma, so I’d say that more than makes up for it! Plus, I got these awesome gifts from you guys.”

“Too bad you didn’t get a selfie with Ladybug,” Alya smirks as they head into the school. Adrien groans loudly.

“I didn’t even think of that! A selfie would’ve been the best present ever! You think if I pray loudly enough, she’ll hear me?”

Marinette just grins and rolls her eyes. “You can certainly try.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? Coffee mugs.  Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? ”A pleasure to have in class.”

Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? Cans or bottles. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds.

Movies or TV? I enjoy both, just depends what I’m in the mood for. Favorite smell in the summer? Coconut and sunblock.  Game you were best at in P.E./gym? None. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? Scrambled eggs with spinach and shredded cheese. Name of your favorite playlist? My “Starred” playlist, which is just my main one with all my music. There’s a variety of music on there. Lanyard or key ring? Key rings. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Black licorice. Favorite book you had to read for school? A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Most comfortable position to sit in? I like to sit with my legs to one side and leaning on the other side. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Adidas. Ideal weather? Fall and winter weather. Pencils or pens? Pens. Obsession from childhood? Barbies was a big one for a long time. Favorite crystal? Rose quartz and amethyst. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay indoors. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay indoors still cause I’m an indoorsy person lol, but I love being wrapped in a blanket all cozy. I drink hot coffee year round, but it is especially nice when it’s cold. Ooh, and a fire in the fireplace is nice as well. I do like getting out in the cold weather and being able to wear hoodies and jackets, though. I much prefer that than the miserable, dreadful summer.  Five songs to describe you? Blah. Best way for someone to bond with you? Watch a TV series together. I like having someone to talk about a show with. Top 5 favorite Vines? I don’t even really remember that many. Ads you have stuck in your head? None. Average time you fall asleep? Usually 2 or 3ish, but it’s 3:30AM and here we are. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Wow, I have no idea.  Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Backpacks. Lemonade or tea? Tea. Last person you texted? My brother. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? I don’t use the pockets on any clothing item. Favorite type of jacket? Peacoats or bomber jackets. I love hoodies the best, though.  Favorite scent for soap? Hmm. I don’t know. I can tell you I don’t like anything that smells oranges. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? I like all those. What clothes do you sleep in? Leggings and an oversized tee. Favorite type of cheese? Ricotta, feta, asiago, Parmesan, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, provolone, white cheddar, Monterey Jack, Colby... I love cheese.  What saying or quote do you live by? Blah. What are you currently stressed about? Always health related stuff and just life.  Favorite font? Tahoma, Georgia, Verdana.  What did you learn from your first job? I’ve never had a job. Favorite fairy tale? Hmm.

Favorite tradition? Christmas traditions. Talent you’re proud of having? I don’t have any. :( If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I don’t know. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? I don’t knowww. Character you relate to? Eeyore.  Favorite website from your childhood? Probably Neopets.  Any scars? Several. Favorite flower? I always just say roses, but I don’t really have one. Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? I don’t like seafood at all.  Left or right handed? Right-handed. Least favorite pattern? Uhh. Worst subject in school? Math. Favorite weird flavor combo? Scrambled eggs with ranch. When did you lose your first tooth? I think I was like 6. Favorite potato food? I love potatoes in its various forms. Gas station coffee or grocery store sushi? Gas station coffee. I don’t like sushi or any seafood. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? I would say either one. PC or console gaming? Console mostly, but PC for The Sims. Writing or drawing? Writing. Podcasts or talk radio? I don’t listen to either. Barbie or Polly Pocket? I liked both, but I was obsessed with Barbies. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales. Cookies or cupcakes? I like both. Your greatest fear? Losing my loved ones, never getting better/getting worse, and never getting my shit together and doing something with my life. Your greatest wish? To get my shit together and do something with my life.

Who would you put before everyone else? God and my family come first. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? All of them. Nicknames? Steph or Sis. Favorite season? Fall and winter. Favorite app on your phone? Twitter, YouTube, Spotify, Kindle, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram. What is your desktop background? Alexander Skarsgard. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? My house phone, my cellphone, my mom’s cellphone, and my brother’s cellphone. Favorite historical era? I don’t really have a particular favorite. 

[walkin-mouth]

our wills and fates do so contrary run (Javid 1/2)

Pairing: Javid, mentions of Sprace and Newsbians Rating: M Words: 2k+ Tags: AU!Soulmate/Modern, adults, little sickfic Summary:  Davey Jacobs hated the idea of soulmates and hated the name on his arm. That's why he knows he's going to shove it to fate and find love on his own terms. Naturally, it can never be that simple.

You can read Part 2 here

Davey Jacobs never put much thought into the whole idea of soulmates. Sure, it was helpful for some people, he found the idea just a nuisance.

It was sometime between the time he turned 12 or 13, right at the beginnings of puberty, that he noticed faint lettering forming on his upper arm at the crook of his elbow.

By the time he was nearly 15 the name was clear in a messy scrawl.

Francis

While his friends proudly showed off the names on their own bodies...

Sean. Katherine. Louis. Josephina.

He opted for long shirts and avoiding the topic at all costs. He was pretty sure soulmates were a sham. A vestigial trait from times gone by. Like wisdom teeth or the appendix. It was a pointless, useless, dumb thing that was on their body by no control of their own.

His sister, Sarah, was the only person he openly confided his anxiety over the name on his arm. He was in the middle of his junior year when he finally showed her the name on his arm.

“Francis?” She scrunched up her nose, “Oh my god, your soulmate is in a little old lady!” She gasped in mock horror.

Davey rolled his eyes and pulled his sleeve back down.

“It’s Francis, with an I. Frances with an E is a woman’s name. It’s a guy,” Davey defends, rubbing his arm.

“Okay, well I’m sure you’ll fit right in at the retirement home with him,” she teases playfully.

“And that’s why this whole soulmate thing is just ridiculous,” he grumbles, flopping back on his bed.

“What do you think he’s like, providing he isn’t a 90-year-old man in his twilight years?”

Davey shrugs rolling over to look at her.

“With a name like Francis all I can think about is an awkward, nerdy guy who has like a pocket protector and bad personal hygiene,” he groans out burying his face in his hands.

Sarah lets out a belly laugh, “With a gelled middle part and Coke bottle glasses too?”

“Yes!” Davey cries out before letting out a pitiful moan.

Sarah can’t help but lay next to him and rest her head on his shoulder.

“He might not be that bad. You never know,” she softly offers.

Davey huffs and leans his head against her own.

“Well, I don’t plan on ever meeting him so I don’t have to worry. I’m going to find my own partner on my own terms. And I plan on avoiding all Francises at all costs.”

He finds in the next few years that Francis isn’t a very popular name and so his life mission of avoiding all Francises goes pretty well, through not much effort put on his own part.

In his senior year of high school, he has a teacher who’s first name is Francis. In his freshman year of college, he has a classmate named Francis. When he’s 22 and starts a job at a local bookstore, his manager is named Francis. All perfectly ignorant of Davey, their paths never crossing much, and he feels like he has truly dodged the soulmate bullet.

Davey had been working at the bookstore for a little over a year, happily going into his senior year of his Bachelor’s degree in Journalism. Still no Francis. Still...no one really. Hell, he had even found his sister’s soulmate in one of his classes. Yet, he remained happily single, feeling smugly that he was able to beat fate to some degree.

It was during morning rush hour that everything changed.

He was walking to work, headphones in, easily weaving in and out of the people crowding the sidewalks. Mid-song he gets the alert sound of a text, causing him to pull out his phone and look at the text. It was from Katherine, his roommate and his Sarah’s girlfriend/soulmate.

Can you pick up milk when you get off work? I used the last of it this morning and I need it to make dinner. :) <3

He chuckles softly to himself, still walking as he looks down answering the text.

Sure thi

Suddenly, there is the squealing of tires and he feels himself being pulled back by his arm and into the frame of a solid body. The earbuds falling out as he clutches his phone to his chest.

“Watch where you’re going!” An angry driver yells out before speeding off.

He had walked right into traffic. Well, almost walked right into traffic.

Davey can only hear his heart beat thrumming in his ear as he stands frozen in place, the realization that he was almost someone’s hood ornament washing over him.

“Hey, kid. Hey, y’okay? Talk to me, kid,” a voice breaks through his rapid heartbeat and he finds himself being pushed to a bench.

He finally focuses on the concerned face of another man who crouches to meet his eyes. Davey manages to nod shakily, pulling the headphones out with equally tremoring hands.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Oh my God, I almost-”

The guy softly laughs, but it comes out as a breath of relief.

“Yeah, almost pulverized into a Jackson Pollock on that guy’s car. It’s a bit early for a death wish, innit?” He smiles a little teasingly.

Davey scrubs his face and lets out his own breathy laugh.

“I can’t believe...were you the one…?” Davey feels breathless.

“You knight in shining armor, at ya service,” He tips the top of his cap with a smirk. “Ah, please just don’t go around trying to off y’self.”

Davey feels his cheeks redden and he can’t believe how much of a complete moron he’s made in front of this guy. This incredibly handsome and charming and a little bit smarmy guy.

“I promise, I won’t. I was reading a text from my roommate and I just didn’t...holy shit you saved my life...I could have died,” his hands are back shaking at the thought.

“Hey, y’would’ve most certainly died. But ya didn’t, and you’re okay. Just breathe, what’s y’name kid?” The man tries to placate him, sitting on the bench with him.

“Davey,” he says softly looking at him.

“Wish we could have met on better terms, Davey,” he chuckles holding out his hand, “I’m Jack.”

Davey takes his hand and gently shakes it, still feeling like a wet noodle.

He calls into work, knowing he’ll be useless for the day. The man, Jack, still hanging around after he gets off the phone with his shift manager.

“I’m sorry, you probably had something to do and I just took up your morning. I’m fine now, I’m just going to head back home,” Davey cringes at how pathetic he sounds to his own ears.

Jack laughs and shakes his head.

“I was just on my way to get coffee and I certainly don’t trust ya to walk unassisted today. Wouldja like to join me?” Jack offers an air of vulnerability coming off his final words.

Davey grins and agrees. Fate and soulmates could suck it.

It doesn’t take too long for sparks to fly between him and Jack. He gets up an extra hour early every day, meeting up with Jack to walk to get coffee and then go to work.

He learns that Jack is an artist, an only child, and grew up in the foster care system. He works for a local theatre in set production but does his fair share of freelancing and personal projects. He also learns that Jack is a romantic at heart, a bit of a dreamer, and an expert in the history of the Wild West.

Jack is so perfectly imperfect, Davey almost can’t stand how head over heels he is for the guy.

Jack also never talks about soulmates with him and he couldn’t be more thankful. Two months after Jack’s heroic rescue, they unofficially decide they’re together.

No grand gestures were ever made. Davey just found himself staying over more at Jack’s place. Cuddles turn to kisses. Next thing he knows, Jack clears out two drawers in his dresser for Davey so he can keep some of his clothes over at his place.

Davey is also thankful that Jack gets along great with his sister and Katherine. Soon, Jack’s friends become his friends and his friends become Jack’s. He isn’t surprised when his friend Race and Jack’s friend Spot both indulge in their soulmate’s names after a few weeks on a drunken night out.

“You’re not my soulmate, Conlon,” Race slurs out despite being held in the arms of the other man.

Race and Spot had become a bit inseparable despite constant teasing and insults thrown at each other. They were both loud sources of near brutish energy that somehow complimented and brought out the softer sides of both men.

“You don’t know that, if you just told me the name-” Spot reasons, his lips against his neck.

“Well, it sure ain’t Spot,” Race giggles out.

Davey rolls his eyes, Jack’s arm wrapped around his thin waist. He takes a sip of his drink as Spot scoffs.

“Well, good thing my name ain’t Spot, sweetheart.” he hums as he lifts his head up with a pleased grin.

Race narrows his eyes and turns so he’s straddling Spot’s lap facing toward him.

“Whatsit then? Spotty? Are ya secretly Scott?” Race playfully slurs then mock gasps, slapping his chest, “Don’t tell me ya Maurice or something!”

Spot lets out a pleased laugh which seems almost foreign against his usually hard demeanor.

“It’s Sean. Sean Conlon.”

Davey freezes and Jack feels him stiffen, right about the same time, Race jumps off Spot’s lap.

“You fuckin’ saw it and you’re fuckin’ with me, you don’t have to be a dick, Conlon!” Race cries out shoving his shoulders.

Davey and Jack both shoot up and rush to their respective friends who are now at each other’s throats, curses flying wildly.

“Race, stop you’re going to get us thrown out!” Davey growls out pushing him away from Jack and Spot. Race now fighting futilely against the larger Davey.

Poor Spot in drunken confusion, wanting to fight back, but genuinely baffled by the outburst. Pulling up his own shirt trying to show the name on his chest to Jack.

“You need to calm the hell down, Higgins,” Davey pushes against him, his voice deepening in authority.

“He’s fuckin’ with me! Brooklyn bastard thinks this is a game!” Race drunkenly yells over Davey’s larger frame.

Davey grips his chin making him focus on him. Race’s eyes glazed and wild, blinking a few times at Davey in silence.

“Or maybe, just maybe, his name is Sean? Think Race, you’re talking with tequila, not your brain!” Davey his voice rises in exasperation as he cuffs Race on the back of the head.

Race’s shoulders drop a little, a moment of clarity coming over him as Jack hesitantly approaches.

“Race, buddy, I’ve known Spot for years. He’s Sean, his ma named him and all. He wants to know if you’re Antonio,” he asks carefully, partially hiding behind Davey in case of Race exploding again.

Davey finds himself pushed to the side as Race dramatically pulls Spot into his arms. The two now a mess of tears and kisses, undoubtedly fueled by the copious amounts of liquor shared between the two.

Davey sighs and rubs his forehead as, Jack blinks looking around at the now very drunken make-up between the two.

“There ain’t enough alcohol in the whole world for me to deal with these two,” Jack shakes his head.

Davey snorts out a laugh.

“I think we deserve another beer, then we can take these assholes home,” Davey offers, as Jack leans over kissing him.

“I think we’s deserve anotha beer, and maybe a shot of whiskey or two,” He playfully mumbles against Davey’s lips.

Even after the Spot and Race almost-fiasco, Jack never brings up soulmates or the names tattooed on each other’s bodies.

They date for nearly a year, no mentions of names or soulmates ever crosses their lips. Jack never pushes when Davey makes an excuse for wearing longer sleeves, even in the heat of summer.

He doesn’t want to know the name on Jack’s body. He tells himself that constantly.

When he does accidentally see the name it’s embarrassingly during a quickie before work.

He has exactly fifteen minutes before he needs to be out the door when a morning makeout turns into more. Before he knows it he’s on his knees taking Jack into his mouth. Jack’s hand is gripped into his hair as he works his mouth over his cock.

It isn’t until he’s pulling himself off Jack when he sees the dark writing, written in perfect script, hidden on Jack’s hip.

David

He feels himself shaking as he hurriedly gets up and rushes to the bathroom, avoiding Jack’s worried looks.

“Dave, y’okay?”

“Yeah, just gotta get ready. Only have five minutes,” he hollers out as he tries to calm his breathing as he clutches the bathroom sink.

He knows he doesn’t put much stock in soulmates and their marks, but it kills him that Jack must think Davey is his soulmate.

But Jack’s name is nowhere on his body and it crushes him harder than he ever anticipated.

Somewhere was Jack’s real David and he suddenly felt like an imposter.

He does his best to push the feelings of inferiority aside, telling himself that he controls his life, not some dumb mark on his body. People have plenty of genetic disorders. Maybe his was he had the wrong name on his body?

He can’t begin to imagine for a moment that he wasn’t meant to be with Jack.

They soon share their first Christmas and Hanukkah together, buying each other small presents with their meager amounts of spare money. Jack buying Davey a new flannel and a couple of books he had mentioned wanting. Davey buying Jack a restock of some of his paints and a book on Albert Bierstadt, one of Jack’s favorite Western landscape artists.

The holiday cheer is a bit short lived when only a few days after Christmas, Davey is hit with the cold from hell that had been making its course around the city. Davey not having been too surprised after having several coworkers go down for days with the bug.

Davey doesn’t remember nearly passing out on Jack after he unsuccessfully tries to get up for work one morning. A cough wracks his body and within the hour he has himself bundled up in bed, quivering with a chill despite his body sweating profusely.

He goes in and out of consciousness in the height of his fever, Jack usually at his side. He knows Jack leaves for a bit before he comes into the room and carefully pulls the warmth of the blanket away and starts to undress him.

Davey furrows his brow in confusion as he blearily looks at Jack, the room feeling like it’s spinning.

“Dave, babe, you’re burning up. Let me change you outta this hoodie,” Jack insists as Davey weakly whines trying to pull away.

“M’fine, Jackie,” He mumbles as his body gives up and he lets Jack pull off the hoodie and help him into one of his own worn, yet soft shirts, stained with various paints.

Davey is splayed out on the bed, coughing softly when Jack notices the black writing on the younger man’s arm.

[americanauthor]

The Great American Tour: Minnesota and New Mexico.

About a month ago I got the idea into my head that I could visit Jack in Minnesota before the summer was out. My laptop had just been delivered to the computer hospital after the unfortunate coffee incident of 2017 and I was at a bar, drowning my sorrows in crisp, chilled wine. 

We agreed I would wait to sober up before making any official plans. I did sober up and though I didn’t end up booking that trip, the idea percolated in the back of my brain for some time. 

When I remembered that my friend Kate had just moved to New Mexico, I spent a few hours researching tickets and when I came out of that blur two hours later I had spent a third of my income that month on plane tickets. The trip would take five days, four nights. One train, four flights and four states.

This is the blog post of that trip. 

Monday, August 7th:

Left for BWI from D.C. Union Station. Flight was delayed. Arrived in Minneapolis by midday-- Jack met me at the airport and we went to the Mall of America. Met Sponge Bob & Dora; rode “Fly Over America”. Spent too much on a souvenir photo but made me happy. Dropped off bags at AirBnB -- charming doll house. Went to dinner at Black Sheep where I had a carbonated margarita and enjoyed half a pizza. 

Wound down the night at a local bookstore called “Magers & Quinn”, nursing a highly caffeinated iced chocolate coffee.

Tuesday, August 8th: 

Worked for a couple hours-- first at hipster coffee shop where mug was stone and barista had a handlebar mustache but used wireless headphones and fitbit, then in retro donut shop called “Glam Doll”. Visited the Walker Sculpture garden where I witnessed the majesty of the cherry and spoon, as well as the Wind-chime Tree. 

After that, grabbed a coffee-- some latte made with honey from one of Jack’s favorite places called “Vicinity”. Walked around Lake Calhoun. Talked about life. Convinced Jack to take me to Saint Paul; we had forgettable thai food. Tired, we agreed to meet up for dinner again-- worked for a few more hours (I was VERY caffeinated) at the AirBnB. Took an Uber with a man who’s GPS spoke in a Mr. T voice. Had my first cheese curds and dirty martini-- it was called “The Ryan Gosling”-- at Herkimer pub. From there went next door to Lynlake Brewery. Made bar friends and stayed for another round (or two). Exhausted and happy, went to meet Jack’s friends at nearby bar before calling it a night. 

Wednesday, August 9th:

Highs of lows of day before catch up to me. Sick stomach, Jack and I put away a greasy eggs & bacon breakfast before my plane ride. Hugs in the rain at Minneapolis-St.Paul airport. I drop my phone in a puddle. Aspirin at the airport is $9.00. I buy a bottle of water and hope the dramamine in my purse has headache soothing principles. Two hours later, arrive in New Mexico. Weather is dry and breeze feels incredible; my hair falls immediately flat. Kate meets me at airport; her car has snow tires from Minnesota life in back. We arrive at her apartment and drop off bags; then downstairs for lunch-- mac&cheese with a beer. Feeling a bit better, we set off to go thrifting. First, a vintage store which costs way too much but is fun to play in. Next, a Buffalo Exchange. Still too expensive. We find a “Savers” and spend an hour there-- I buy some skirts and a dress. Out of clothes from my suitcase, I will use these to doctor outfits until I get home in two days. Back to Kate’s for a much needed shower-- I’ve been up since 4:00am MN time, 3:00am NM time, 6:00am D.C. time. Kate and I head to hotel bar next to her building with stunning views of Albuquerque. We split a meat and cheese board while I nurse a mohijto which was so good I wanted to shrink down and go swimming in it. 

Tuckered out, we head back to her apartment and I fall asleep watching “Real Housewives of New York City” finale. God, I miss cable. 

Thursday, August 10th: 

Up early, make a coffee in Kate’s machine. Take my laptop out onto her little patio and answer work emails in view of the mountains. Stunning. Work call with student then changed for walk to Old Town Plaza. 

Wander around for about two hours, taking photos and enjoying company. Buy some souvenirs for friends at home. Head back to apartment to work a bit before lunch. Head to a place Kate has known since she was a kid-- I ask the waiter to pick the beer to go with my lunch; it is amber colored and comes in a glass the size of my forearm. I drink it and Kate teaches me how to eat “sopapilla” with honey. Delighted. We trek out to the Petrogylphs, intent on doing something South Western before I go home.

Dollar donation and we’re off up a mountain; Kate in skateboarding sneakers with half peeled Banana’s (this point made a guy at lunch place think he was our friend-- he was not) and my sparkly sandal, ankle length peasant skirt. We made quite the pair. Huff and puffed our way to top; beautiful and made me wish I could have stayed longer. South West always reminds me of summer’s with my mom; long, hot endless days of adventure. 

Back at apartment we shower and head to dinner, wine bar walking distance away. Split a couple of appetizers and wine flights, back home in bed for 10:00pm to watch “Hollywood Medium”. It entrances us until sleep over takes us, happily confessing it’s been a great day. 

Friday, August 11th: 

Up early to work again with the view; make another coffee in Kate’s machine. Pack and head downstairs to her coffee shop before dropping me off at airport. I can concede their coffee is delicious--creamy and soothing. Arrive at airport, more hugs and farewells. Happy to be headed home though. 

Two hours till flight. Grab breakfast and finish book. Flight delayed. Finally get to Houston for layover; have twenty minutes. Buy a bottle of water and popcorn. Only three hours till home. Flight from Houston forced to land in Richmond before D.C. to “refuel” because D.C. closed due to the thunderstorms. Two hours on tarmac in Richmond; two hour drive, fifteen minute flight. Finally arrive in D.C. around 11:30pm. Bag almost last off of plane. I collapse into Sam’s car. He gives me something to eat. I sleep for thirteen hours next day. 

[loseitall-ff]

26. Part 2

I had to fly back home commercial, I couldn’t even get my private jet running at such short notice. The commercial flight was leaving straight away so I paid for first class and just hopped on it with nothing with but my passport, credit cards and my phone that needs charging. Hopefully my family handles my stuff because I left all my shit there, I didn’t even have a shower. I am so stank right now, rubbing my forehead feeling agitated. We already stopped in Dubai for two hours and now we on our way to LA, I am so jet lagged and wish I could switch my mind off, I tried calling Robyn but she won’t pick up. I don’t understand why I am getting tortured for this, I only want to be there for her. Seeing my phone on 16 percent, this is not going to last. Looking around me, I wonder if I could ask someone. Getting up from my seat, lack of sleep is getting to me and these various time zones is fucking me up so bad. Looking at everyone around me, pretty much everyone has a cable for my phone but who do I ask, seeing an older black lady. I could ask her, the air hostess smiled at me as I made my way. Clearing my throat “I am sorry to disrupt you in your reading” she quickly pulled her headphone out, seeing everyone just stare at me “I know it’s weird that I am asking you this, I have left my phone cable on my jet. I need to charge my phone, please can I borrow your cable just a little while” I probably look like a fool right now “oh of course, I don’t mind” thank god, I thought she was about to be mad rude to me.

Finally, some juice so I can call Mel. She will pick up for me, blinking my eyes several times “hey” Mel said, she picked up “hey Melissa” rubbing my eyes, clearing my throat “why won’t she pick my calls up? I am calling her, she being dead ass wrong with me right now, I need her too” my eyes are feeling so heavy now “Chris please do not tell me you are on a plane right now? She is asleep right now, I put sleeping tablets in her drink, don’t judge me. I just didn’t want to see her cry anymore. She just doesn’t want to speak to you, I don’t know why. Joyce is even asking but she said she will text you” Robyn is being selfish “I am on a flight home, just left Dubai. I am borrowing someone’s charger, the only thing I got is my credit card and passport. I am jet lagged, tired and she is dodging me when all I want to do is be there for her” I ranted on “you need to sleep, jet lag is getting to you. You shouldn’t have done this” opening my eyes “done what? Come back to her when she needs me, only want to speak to her. I lost something too” the words slurred out of my mouth “I know Chris, just sleep it off. She loves you so much, she is just feeling down. Joyce knows now” that is the last thing I heard before my mind switched off on me.

“Mr Brown” feeling a hand on me “Mr Brown!” the female voice could be heard a little higher pitched “huh!” my eyes shot open, touching my chest and grabbing my phone “what happened?” I said in a state of shock “you fell asleep sir, its ok. We are about to land so you need to buckle yourself in” I am so confused, I swear I was just talking to Mel “excuse me” pulling the cable out “could you pass this back to the lady over there” pointing at her “of course” the air hostess smiled before walking away, I don’t even remember falling asleep at all. My head is killing me too, shuffling up on my seat. Looking over to see the lady get her cable back, she gave me a wave which I did back. At least my phone is fully charged now but with a whole bunch of messages, I do not need to read that right now because my mind can’t take anymore shit.

Walking the tunnel out behind people, with my passport in hand. My hand is still hurting from punching the wall, I wish my anger didn’t get the best of me sometimes. The security looked me up and down as I walked by, I look and smell stank right now. I usually can hide behind my glasses but I can’t, I am just wearing a shirt and some jeans I stole from my stylist and went off. I know there is people taking pictures of me but I am not in the mood, I just want to get a taxi and leave to go home. Looking up at the time, it’s eight in the morning here, I have been through so many time zones that I don’t know where I am at. Walking out to exit this place, I am sure I can catch a cab here but I only have my cards and no cash on me.

The cab pulled up outside Robyn’ home, Mel stood outside waiting on me. I told her that she need to pay for the cab, I ain’t got no cash on me. The cab halted outside “here you go sir” he said, Mel walked over to the car “she will pay, thank you” shuffling out of the cab, I am so tired and hungry too. Closing the door as Mel paid, stretching out my body. Shuffling forward a little “welcome back Chris” Mel said, I don’t know what came over me but I instantly just hugged Mel “I am sorry if I smell stank” I said, Mel laughed at me “no, I can’t smell you actually. So good to see you though” stepping back nodding my head “back but not for the reason I had wanted to be, I always said to Robyn I would be back for her. I made sure I came back, nobody was ready and I just ran. I didn’t even wait for my jet, I was gone” Mel rubbed my back as we walked inside “I was awake anyways. Liana woke me, I am looking after her so she is eating cereal and watching you know what” I smiled, her stank show she likes to watch.

I best see my daughter first, she will be more than happy to see me “I fell asleep on you, I am sorry. My mind switched off on me, I want to sleep now. Jet lag is just killing me” Mel cooed out “it’s ok, I was like Chris? And I heard you breathing heavy and the phone falling so I disconnected, I understand bro” poking my head around the living room, seeing Liana on her knees at the side of the table. Eating her cereal while watching My Little Pony, she is so adorable and happy in her zone “wow, is Apple Jack being stank again” I spat, Liana turned her head around so quickly. She gasped staring at me, I gasped too. She got up from the floor “oh daddy I missed you!” she said raising her arms to me “my baby girl” picking her up “I have missed you more than you know” holding Liana tightly to me “daddy heard you have been missing me, I came home for you” Liana moved her head away from my shoulder “we play now daddy” she kissed my nose “stop being so cute, I love you” pressing kisses to her face.

Liana’ arms wrapped around my neck tightly “Liana you need to eat your cereal, I am here now” trying to place her down “no!!! I stay” her grip tightened “fine, let’s go here then together” walking over to the table “if I sit on the floor next to you, will you eat then?” she nodded, this girl is not about to let me go for nothing now. I grunted as I sat down on the floor, Liana let my neck go “here Chris, you need to eat” Mel said walking over to me with a bottle of water and a bowl “you don’t need too” smiling at her “you don’t need to get anymore skinny, they are lucky charms” she placed the bowl in front of me “thank you so much Mel” grabbing the bottle from the table, unfastening the cap “I drink too” Liana held my bottle as I drank from it, feeling Liana trying to yank to away from my lips “damn baby” I chuckled, she not letting me do anything.

Watching the commercial on the TV “oh look baby, they doing a movie. I need to take you to that” can be a daddy and daughter day, I need to make sure I remember this “daddy go ahhh” Liana said, looking over at Liana as she bought the spoon towards me “careful baby, you about to drop it” wrapping my hand around hers, eating the cereal from her spoon “look at my grandbaby looking after her dad” hearing my mom say, turning my head around “mom!” I spat, getting up from the floor “I talked to Christine, she told me you left” hugging my mom “I am so so sorry baby, I am sorry. I am sorry to the both of you that the both of you have to go through this” moving back from the hug “dad, hug!” Liana got between my mom and I, wiping the tear away from my eye as I picked Liana up “I am so very proud of you, how much you have changed. You are being so selfless with everything, my strong boy. Always there for his loved ones” putting my head down as my mom stroked my cheek “stop it” she is reminding me of the past “you was there for me and now look, she needs you” swallowing back the lump in my throat “I try my best you know” looking up at my mom “I can see it, you need to rest too. Sleep is what you need” I can’t sleep right now or think of me.

I have finally got away from Liana, it was hard to get away from her but I did it. I can hopefully have a shower before I see Robyn, she will probably be asleep still, well I hope so. Opening the bedroom door and walking inside, there was a sudden sunlight entering the dark room. Looking up as Robyn froze her movement of opening the curtain wider, staring at me like she has seen a ghost. Closing the door behind me slowly “Robyn” I said, Robyn is still looking at me like I am not real “what are you doing back home? I mean, are you real?” she said while stepping away from the windows, I stopped walking “I came back for you” Robyn looked at me dumbfounded “why? You have a tour, are you crazy coming home” why is she acting like this “fuck the tour, I came home for you” watching Robyn walk around the bed “I didn’t call or text you, I mean it is nice to see you” I am about to flip a table, I am tired and upset and this attitude is annoying me.

Staring at Robyn trying to look less angry “is that how you doing me now? Just shut me out like I don’t exist” Robyn fixing the bed covers like everything is normal, is she crazy “nobody is doing that to you Chris” gawking at Robyn, turning around as I balled my fist up and then the pain hit me from the wall I punched back at the arena “ouch, fuck!” I said, that pain “what?” she said, looking down at my bruised hand “nothing” rubbing my hand turning around “that was my baby too Robyn, you are shunning me out of something I loved too. The guy that is always there for you, and you are ignoring me. I came here for you” pointing at the ground “you need to live your life, I am a burden. I can’t even hold a baby never mind a relationship” Robyn finally turned around to look at me “I am sorry Chris, I am sorry that I can’t hold your babies. That I am damaged goods” is she being real right now “so you are ignoring my calls and not telling me, why? What were you going to do? Leave me?” Robyn shrugged “I don’t know, I was thinking” this must be her emotions speaking right now.

Rubbing my face in anger “what happened to your hand?” Robyn asked, looking at my hand again “that is what happens when I had to perform when all I wanted to do is be with you, I found out I lost my baby. I was angry but it seems like my fiancé wanted to leave me because she thinks she is damaged goods, now you’re just hurting me. I came here on a fucking twenty one hour flight for you to do me like this!? For you to fucking speak about leaving me straight after losing our child! Are you fucking kidding me!?” shaking my head staring away “if you want to leave me then tell me now, do it. Say it to me, tell me you want to leave me and take the ring off” she is being too normal for this, seeing Robyn’ eyes water “no” she quivered out “then why say it to me? Acting like I would leave you for anything, I want to grow old with you” I just don’t understand her, Robyn walked over to me “I am sorry Chris” Robyn clung on to my neck, hearing the piercing cry in my ear as Robyn cried out.

[davidegbert]

HTC U11 Review: The “more and the less” conventional flagship

The argument in 2016 is that smartphones were getting boring, and one of the companies that used this as the main purpose for its then flagship was HTC. We can’t really say that the HTC 10 addressed any of the boredom that HTC claimed, but one thing it did do is prove that HTC was back. The company we once admired for making great smartphones made a solid comeback with that device.

Now, 2017 is a very interesting year for flagships. We have companies experimenting with taller displays and new aspect ratios, and we’re one digital assistant short of forming a basketball team. All of this is cool. Yes, we need flagships to continue pushing the bar of innovation, but like with every new thing, it’s clear that some of these features are still solutions in search of a problem.

As a result, and given the price hike of some of these devices, some people actually don’t like anything about this new approach. Be it cool or not, some people just want a conventional flagship that’s powerful, capable, and beautiful enough. If you’re looking for a more conventional approach, there’s pretty much just one flagship this year that does address some of the problems already in need of a solution, but in ways that are actually not conventional. We’re talking about the HTC U11, and it’s time for our full review.

Hardware

The HTC U11 is a very interesting approach to hardware design. Notice I didn’t begin this review giving you the typical sob story of how bad things are for HTC, or how the HTC U Ultra didn’t really do more than become a source for mockery.

Actually, the U11 is a very different animal. More the result of a company that has matured in many ways over the years. Just set this phone on its front over a table, and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. This phone is gorgeous, eye catching, and an immediate call for admiration. This 3D formed glass finish that HTC is dubbing liquid design is a very different approach to curving glass. Instead of making it about adding features, the whole purpose is to make this rather large phone feel pleasant in the hand, and that it definitely is.

The curves extend to the glass front, leading to this pebble-like shape that’s easily noticeable. I also love that HTC chose to stick to a black finish at the front, regardless of what color option you pick. I find black bezels to be more immersive for content consumption. The company decided to wait on the whole trend of 18.5:9 displays, and you know what, I’m not going to complain. As it stands pillar boxing is what I hate most about competing devices. There is still a good list of apps that’s not ready to support new aspect ratios, and whatever more pixels you would’ve gained are compensated by the dedicated capacitive buttons on the U11.

This is a Quad HD Super LCD 5 with punchy color and decent blacks. It does get very bright, up to the point of offering good visibility in direct sunlight, even if you’re wearing polarized sunglasses. The only problem is that oddly, if you launch the camera while wearing polarized lenses, you have to view the display from an angle for the UI to be visible. About my only complaint is the size of these bezels, leading to a 71% screen to body ratio, at a time when competitors that stick to 16:9 like the OnePlus 3T go above 80.

Precautions that I would recommend with this phone is not setting it on its front over a table as the curves seem notorious to minor scratches from dirt, and also be ready to clean this phone constantly, as the reflective coating in the back really loves fingerprints and smudges.

Tucked inside the shell we have almost everything a flagship needs. Snapdragon 835, 4 gigs of RAM, 64 gigs of expandable storage, and my review unit includes the bonus of dual-SIM capabilities if I ditch the microSD. We also get IP67 water and dust resistance, another crucial feature you should look up to in 2017.

Software

HTC Sense makes a return to power all the hardware of the U11. This is a combination of HTC design, and a commitment with Google to avoid bloat. As a result, there’s just one Calendar, one Calculator, Google Photos supersedes the Gallery, and so on and so forth. The result is a phone that manages RAM far better than competitors, and all leading to zippy performance all around.

Graphics intensive games launch quickly and work like a charm. Even this proprietary launcher and services like BlinkFeed work without a stutter, something devices like the Galaxy S8 fumble with in the basics.

The HTC Sense Companion finally started working for me, but the implementation still feels hit or miss. One day it noticed I had an early appointment and suggested I set an alarm in the morning, something I honestly appreciated. The only problem is that every other time, all it does is tell me I use my phone too much… like really?

HTC’s Edge Sense is one of those new features that I’ve come to love and hate. I seriously love the simplicity of squeezing lightly to get the Google Feed, as OEMs continue to ignore it, or the long squeeze to launch the flashlight. I still consider this hidden button to be genius. The problem if you set the sensitivity to light, you’ll find the phone activating the feature when you don’t want it to, and going the opposite direction makes the gesture feel awkward on borders this thin. You can always just switch this off. It’s a nice little convenience, but I honestly don’t see the point in going through all this trouble instead of simply adding another button.

Camera

The camera experience on the HTC U11 only gets better if you compare it to its predecessor. DxOMark claims this to be the best camera of 2017, and even if I won’t go as far as to call this my favorite, it does a great job.

I love the color saturation and detail provided during the day, and at night it shines as a solid performer. Even with the Ultra Pixels being reduced to 1.4 microns, the bump in aperture does compensate. Juan’s real camera review should shed some more light on our final verdict for how this camera competes.

I love features like the 3D audio recording for video, making the experience more immersive as the camera captures audio from the direction of the source.

My only complaints are the death of stabilization on the front facing shooter, and how it also stepped back the Ultra Pixel hardware approach brought by the U Ultra.

Performance

I’ve been using the HTC U11 for nearly two weeks between New York City and Honduras. There are things in which this phone is great, and others where it’s simply the expected performance of a flagship. For example, this phone has proven to be a champ in retaining to Wi-Fi and Cellular signal, even when compared to other 2017 flagships. Oddly I feel that call quality over the ear piece has gotten slightly tinier compared to the HTC 10, even if the speakers have gotten louder. As of the moment of this review this is the only 2017 flagship with dual-firing speakers, but more on that in Juan’s Real Audio Review.

My biggest problem with Audio is the death of the headphone jack. Yes HTC, all 2017 flagships have one, except the U11. This feels like the time when HTC kept insisting that 4 Ultra Pixels was all you needed in a smartphone camera. Minimalism in design makes sense, but not in features. Yes, I do get the point of HTC U Sonic, and yes, I love the acoustic noise cancellation that can only be provided by having these headphones draw power from the phone and use the four microphones. It’s not as great as on my PXC 550s, but far better than any headphones I’ve tested that came bundled in the box. The problem is the need to be carrying this specific dongle everywhere else, since like with all the current cases of phones requiring them, these are proprietary, meaning the dongle on a Moto Z won’t work on this phone. Why does this matter so much? Well if OEMs gave us two USB-C ports, that would be awesome, but try to charge this phone on a long flight while listening to music. Yeah, forget it.

And then you’ll stay that there is amazing fast charging on this phone, and that the battery is amazing. Sadly, charging your phone is something you’ll be doing quite often. I had very high hopes for the optimizations on Android 7.1.1, but as it stands, the 3000mAh power pack on the U11 is just average, barely scratching to the end of day of moderate use.

We received a lot of heat in our video review given the “awake” indication on our battery stats. As it stands, our experience has been the same with or without this “awake” indication being shown as you’ll see in the screen shots, and remember this review is focused on consumers, so hacking anything to fix that isn’t something we can discuss as part of this review.

Pricing and Availability

As of the time of this review, only Sprint had picked up the HTC U11. Every other carrier requires you to buy the unlocked variant, and yes, this even includes Verizon. At $649, this is definitely not an affordable device, but if you think of the fact that you’re getting a lot more bang for your buck than paying that same amount of money for a 32GB iPhone 7, and yes, the small iPhone 7, then you’ll understand why we don’t complain about the price tag at all.

Conclusion

To conclude, there’s a lot to like about the HTC U11. This is gorgeous hardware, matched by up to date specs, and with a set of unique features like U Sonic, and Edge Sense, that help this phone stand apart from the standard set of competitors out there.

I’d even say that my experience using the U11 has been delightful enough for me not to miss devices like the Galaxy S8 or the LG G6. The only reason why I’ve ended up drifting back to these other devices is because I wish HTC and other OEMs would stop copying Apple in the things they shouldn’t. Removing the 3.5mm headphone jack is not innovation, nor courage. If anything it’s lack of ingenuity in solving a problem. The day Bluetooth grows up to support better quality audio, and the day OEMs agree on a solution to avoid proprietary dongles, and also the day smartphones can last more than a day on a charge, then I’d say it’s time to move on. Sadly as it stands, proprietary solutions are always an exercise in frustration in the long run.

Even with its short comings, I have no problem in recommending the HTC U11. This is definitely a great phone in absolutely everything else. The question is if you’d be willing to give HTC another chance? Make sure you share your final thoughts in the comments down below.

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