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ssscentral · 4 years ago

Text

Devil like you

Summary: Your boyfriend has a revelation about who - or what - he really is as he invites over a friend to have some earth-shattering, toe-curling, out of this world fun with you.

Pairing : Demon!Namjoon x Reader x Demon! Jimin

Genre : Smut. Pure filth. It be dirty.

Warnings : Threesome, Demon summoning, Overstimulation, Swearing, Restraints, Surprise your boyfriend is a demon, Dom!Namjoon, Dom!Jimin, Sub!Reader, Light Edging, Dirty Talking, Oral Sex (f and m), Fingering

WC : 5.5k

Member : Duda || @biaswreckme

A/N : Hope you enjoy reading this, i’m quite proud of it :v It’s my first AU for BTS, so be gentle T.T This fic is the second part of the group prompt “Hell of a Ride”, each part with our own interpretation, so stay tuned because there is more to come! Any similarities with Supernatural are not coincidental, thank you Spn wikis for the words in Latin and the inspiration for some of the abilities of these demons. And thanks so much @fluffy-fluffu for being the beta ♥

taglist: @sugasbabiie

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You thought you should have known. You thought you should have seen the signs – and there were quite a few, thinking back on your relationship. It should not have surprised you like this. It should not have affected you like this. It should not make you wish for more, waiting for the next time it would happen. It should not… you should not… you should not want this as much as you did, right?

You should have seen it coming. It should not have caught you off guard like that, after all, who teaches this language with this much ease and what seems like almost natural and native knowledge? That should have been the first sign to strike your attention. He was not the first Latin professor in the language department at this university, but he was the best. But this department has a lot of languages, and Latin is part of the curriculum for some of the other languages. It was not weird to have a Latin professor. It was weird to have someone as hot as Namjoon teaching Latin. Hot, gods, you sound like a teenager again talking about boys and crushes. But yes, Kim Namjoon, one of the hottest teachers in the university – and it is a big one – teaches a dead language.

So when he asked you, the English teacher – not the only one in the department and you did not consider yourself to be one of the best-looking teachers there – out on a date, you said yes. It had been a while for you, issues with an ex left you being cautious about entering new relationships. It made you pay more attention to certain red flags, but there were none with Namjoon, at least not like those from before.

Kim Namjoon was considerate. Kim Namjoon was creative with his dates. Kim Namjoon was a romantic man, one that had you indeed feeling like a teenager dating for the first time, sneaking around the empty halls and classrooms, the butterflies in your stomach wild and making you giggle at the mere thought of him. Kim Namjoon paid attention to you and your problems. Kim Namjoon listened. And Kim Namjoon was great when it came to sex. Great actually did not really translate how incredible and mind-blowing sex with him was. He knew how to do things to your body like no one ever could before. He suggested some things – some kinky, oh, very kinky things indeed – to spice up the sex that you had only fantasized about but never had the courage to ask for, and he did not judge anything. It was almost as if his mission in bed was to give you utmost pleasure, even if it hurt sometimes – but it always hurt so good. Kim Namjoon was the perfect boyfriend. Maybe too perfect, so you think to yourself that you had ought to know better. No one could be this perfect. There had to be an explanation. And there was. You just never would have imagined that it would be this explanation.

The day had started just like any other, there was nothing special about it, at least to your knowledge. So why, oh, why did it have to be on this day? (Maybe you could ask them later.) You woke up to your alarm, as usual. You love your job, but you always found it difficult to get up this early in the mornings, so you always made sure to set more than one alarm. You got up, had breakfast – “breakfast” is a very general word, but you do eat a piece of toast while the coffee machine warms up. You had a shower, just a quick one to truly wake you up and get you going before getting dressed in your usual teaching outfit. Namjoon would be coming over later, so you would have time to shower again and get dressed up for date night after getting back from the university. You grab a travel mug on the way out, pouring the hot coffee in it, the smell invading your apartment just as you like it.

The classes go on without any issue; a slight problem with the projector in the beginning but nothing out of the ordinary and that would strike one’s attention, especially if one was used to dealing with the projectors in that older building the languages and literature department was stuck with. You crossed paths with Namjoon once the entire day, walking down the hallways of the old building; you were getting out of an English literature class, Joon going to teach his Latin II group. As your bodies got closer, both of you nodded in acknowledgment as if you were any other professor, but your hands discreetly touched in passing, just a small sign you had agreed on to let the other know everything is okay, have a good class, I love you, I will be waiting for you later. You knew he was going out on a field trip with an advanced class and he would have to leave during lunch, so you ate a sandwich in your office, watching some comedy series to relax and get energized for the rest of the day – of course, the hot and new cup of coffee helps -, every once in a while, pausing to chat with the other professor who chose to do something similar. The afternoon is not really that different from other Friday afternoons; no one usually comes during office hours, so no one came on this day. You spent your time alternating between counting the minutes on the ticking clock to be able to go home and get ready for the date and responding to some emails, starting the term report, and downloading some articles to read. You were alone in the office, so you have some music going to help distract you and try to make the time go by faster.

When you finally got home the first thing you did was hop on the shower again, but now taking some time for yourself, phone blasting your favorite songs as you washed the day away from your body, cleaning, shaving what you wanted, moisturizing with some shower oils Namjoon gave you and that you know he loved the scent of. You spent some time choosing your outfit for the evening, knowing it had to be good. You opted for a white lace and silk playsuit, the new lingerie that Namjoon had recently given you, and you knew it had to be expensive from the brand – expensive and fancy lingerie was a guilty pleasure you had that somehow Namjoon was able to indulge, and you had no complaints about it. It gave you an almost innocent look under the black dress, and you were curious to see Namjoon’s reaction. You did not do much for hair and makeup, choosing instead to keep it quite simple and natural – it was only going to be ruined later on anyways.

Soon you heard the bell ring and you looked at the small monitor near the door, letting him in. His hair was slicked back, giving him an edge that was not present in day-to-day life at university. He had his earrings on and paired up with his silver-rimmed glasses and that black blazer made him look unbelievably hot and so different from the pristine almost clumsy-like image of Professor Kim. He kissed you, murmuring a hi in the kiss, letting his hands roam over your dress. He paused and stepped back enough to look at you.

“Are you wearing the new gift?”

It only took a nod from you to have him pressing you against the wall, hitching your leg up and around his waist. His hands took advantage of the position and touched your skin, going up your thighs and bunching up your dress in the way, giving him access to feel the lace and silk on your body.

“Fuck,” he paused, almost breathless, “fuck the reservation, right? I need you now.”

You nodded in affirmation, almost as out of breath as him, “Fuck the reservation, fuck me instead.”

He didn’t need anything else to press you even harder against the wall, hoisting both of your legs; you wrapped them around his body, and he pushed his hips into yours, you could feel how hard he already was. You moaned into the kiss, his hardness was right against where you needed it the most, and when he started slightly moving his hips into yours, it made his length deliciously drag against your clit. The feeling was also enhanced by the lingerie; every time Namjoon canted his hips up, it made the lingerie move up together and tug on your skin, and it did not take long until it was snugged between your nether lips and you were certain you were staining the front of Namjoon’s pants with your wetness as he started nibbling on your earlobe, sucking and kissing your neck, the skin caught between his teeth to make sure it would leave bruises. And then he let you go, dropping your legs from around his body.

“Do you trust me?” He looked into your eyes, seeming unsure, which was unlike him. You could swear that his eyes got darker for a brief moment – and not in the way writers usually describe, with eyes darkening with pleasure or something akin to that. No, it seemed that they physically turned darker, almost black, but you thought you must be imagining things. It could not be humanly possible.

“I trust you, Joon.” You said without any hesitation, fingers entangling with his and taking him in the direction of your bedroom.

He started by taking off his glasses and carefully putting them on the wooden nightstand, taking a minute to take off his blazer and carefully drape it over the piece of furniture. He then turned to you and you felt nervous, his walk almost predatory towards you. He gripped your shoulders, taking the straps of your dress into his hands, and it felt like he was considering just ripping the piece out of your body and your breath faltered. So this was the mood today. But he must have thought better and let his hands caress the front of your body, squeezing your breasts, his fingers then gliding over your clothed nipples, feeling them harder under his touch. His hands moved down, grabbing the edge of your dress in his fists and then lifted it up and off your body, and then you were there, standing in front of him, the white lace and silk that covered your skin seemed almost virginal when contrasted with the current mood. You bit your lip, looking at Namjoon, gaging his reaction, and you saw his eyes widen, a smirk crossing his lips, his tongue unconsciously poking out to lick his top lip. There was a different look in his eyes, one that you did not recognize at all, and you were getting slightly more nervous now. What did he have in store for you this time? You tried to think back to conversations you had, discussing ideas in between cuddles and kisses on the bed, after one of the times you had some passionate lovemaking, his eyes glued to yours the entire time, his body encompassing yours, protecting you. Not every time was kinky, but there was no doubt tonight was going to be. You took a deep breath and stepped forward, your fingers going to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them one by one, slowly, your fingers shaking in anticipation.

“Remember when we were talking about maybe having another person in the bedroom with us?”

His question took you by surprise, your fingers stopping mid-action, and you looked at him. “Yes?”

“You are going to learn some things about me tonight, Y/n, but you don’t need to be scared.” He grabbed your hands, intertwining your fingers and kissing them while looking into your eyes. “I promise everything will be okay, and I’ll answer all your questions later. Now I just want you to enjoy yourself.”

And ok, now you were worried, and he could see that in your face, so he brought you closer to his body, hugging you, and your arms tightened around his body.

“You don’t have to be scared, love. It can be scary, but have I ever hurt you?”

“Well…” you started, giggling at the double possibilities to answer his question.

“I’m talking about real harm, Y/n. And might I remind you, who asked to be spanked again?” He chuckled, shaking his head, the mood getting a little lighter. “I can’t promise it’s not going to frighten you at first but keep an open mind. You have your safeword, you can stop this at any time, no matter what.”

“Ok. I can’t promise I won’t fear whatever it is… because you are scaring me a little bit, Joon. But I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me like that.” You raised your head from where it was resting on his chest, looking into his eyes again, and this time you could not be mistaken. They were black. Like black black; you could not see any of the previous colors in his irises, even the sclera was taken over by the color, and it hit you. You took a quick step back, letting go of his body, shocked. Was… was this real?

“I’m still me,” his voice was soft and his hands raised by his sides in that universal sign of I’m not going to hurt you. “It’s always been me.”

“So you’re not… possessed?” you laughed in disbelief.

“No. It’s always been me,” he repeated, taking one step closer to you with one of his hands reaching out, and hesitantly you grabbed it. “Let me show you. I promise you will have a good time.”

Your body was still shaking with fear when you let yourself get closer to him, but his words were starting to reassure you, calm you. If he had always been like this and never harmed you, you would be okay, right? The fear and worry were slowly starting to give way to curiosity and some slight confusion when he started muttering some words under his breath. Now, you did not understand Latin – it was a dead language, come on –, but you were able to pick up that he was almost chanting in it, words like te invoco, spiritus, infernalis, and daemon being spoken with more intensity. He finished saying it and kissed you deeply, his arms encircling your body and pulling you to him, when you suddenly felt another presence behind you, a second body pressing against you, feeling a hard chest pressing you into Namjoon even more. You stopped the kiss, looking over your shoulder, and your eyes stumbled upon another black-eyed figure. This man, this demon, was shorter than Namjoon, but with the way the front of his body was glued to your back, you could feel he was just as muscular, maybe even more, from what you were feeling from his thighs. There were no words for his face. You thought Namjoon was handsome, but this man’s face was on a whole other level of beauty, with those rounded full lips that would give Namjoon’s a run for their money. If it were not for his black eyes you would dare say his face was angelic even, with his light-colored hair parted in the middle. But something about the smirk and raised eyebrows let you know that there was nothing angelic about him.

“Damn, Namjoon. You’ve been hiding her this entire time?” He almost growled, shifting his hips, and you felt the hardness in his pants. “If I’d known, I’d have come sooner.”

“And this is Jimin, Y/n,” he started, scoffing at his… friend? “Now close your eyes and let us take care of you.”

He did not wait for an answer from you, and at the same time his lips found yours, you felt Jimin’s lips on your neck and his hands on your waist, and you could only sigh, close your eyes, and give into these new sensations. The two pairs of hands were roaming your body; the contrast of their clothed bodies against yours, almost naked, was heightening the sensation of your powerlessness, and you had to press your thighs together in an attempt to bring some pressure to your center and relieve some of the aching. You could feel their smirks when you did it, and then Jimin’s hand traveled downwards and on the front of your body, his fingers sneaking under the lingerie to feel your wetness.

“Fuck,” his voice was almost strained, “she’s dripping, Namjoon.” His fingers went all over your mound spreading your wetness around, careful to not touch you for too long to tease you.

“Is this right, Y/n?” Namjoon asked against your lips, then tilted his head back to look at you, his hand joining Jimin’s. “I know you get wet for me, but if I had known you would be dripping like this, I would have brought Jimin much sooner.” He stated as his fingers toyed with the straps of your playsuit, slowly lowering them. “And you are wearing this, today of all days… all in white…”

Namjoon’s fingers teased your nipples lightly at first, just caressing them while Jimin slowly lowered the lingerie down your body, giving open-mouthed kisses to your back and lower and he went down on his knees behind you. You closed your eyes, letting your head fall back and grabbing Namjoon’s biceps for balance when Jimin lifted your left feet first then the right, letting the playsuit fall to the ground off your body. You felt a pinch to your nipples, and you sighed, and shortly after you felt his tongue circling it, then his mouth sucking on it, tugging lightly with his teeth. You clenched your legs again, only for Jimin to spread them. You felt Jimin’s breath on your backside, and his hands made you arch your back so he could see you better from behind, but you felt nothing else but his warm breath very close to your center, his hands gripping your thighs from the inside to stop you from closing them. When Namjoon used the fatal combination of pinching down on a nipple harder and biting the other and sucking on it, Jimin chuckled.

“Do that again, Namjoon. She liked it, she just clenched down on nothing so hard.” His mouth was so close to you yet doing nothing, and to worsen the situation, he used his hands to help you spread your legs more. “Tilt your ass towards me, Y/n, I want to see you clench like that again.”

You did so without hesitation, arching your back more so he could see you better, and when Namjoon did it again, inverting touch and bite to the other nipple, you clenched again, needing their touch, needing something. And he combined pulling your nipple with his teeth with his other hand entangling in your hair and pulling it down hard, increasing your arch. You heard Jimin chuckle softly again and then his mouth was pressed to your inner thigh, licking upwards as he moaned, probably tasting the wetness that had started dripping. Namjoon was not being gentle anymore, using the amount of pressure and strength he knew you loved, much rougher than when you were making love, your nipples becoming more sensitive and abused under his ministrations. This moment, with his lips around your nipples, his teeth worrying them, while Jimin licked your thighs, was pure and unadulterated passion and desire. You let one of your hands fall to grab Jimin’s hair to try and direct him, but he let one of your thighs go to wrap his fingers around your wrist while he bit down on your thigh. You moaned in pain, but you loved it.

Your other hand moved from Namjoon’s biceps to the front of his shirt to undo the few buttons that were left, and he paused what he was doing to help you. When you went to unbutton his pants, you felt your arm being pinned to your back by the demon between your legs. You looked back and down, seeing Jimin licking his lips again while he got up. He pulled you against his body, murmuring that tonight was about you and not to worry about them. As he said these words, Namjoon’s long fingers undid his own pants, hooking them under his underwear to take them off at the same time. His erection slapped softly against his stomach, his cock long and thick, the bulbous head already a little wet with precum. He stepped out of his pants, his strong thighs flexing, and he came closer to kiss you again, letting you feel his hardness against your belly. He started to pull you towards the bed, turning your bodies so you could fall against the mattress with him on top, but he did not stay long. He got up, looking at Jimin, and raised his eyebrows.

“You look so innocent like this, wide-eyed looking at us about to devour you,” Jimin started, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, putting on a show for you.

The dark shirt Jimin was wearing opened to reveal toned muscles beneath, ones you had already felt against your back. His light purple hair was slightly messy from your attempt to grab it; his lips were turned up into a corner smile observing the way you were watching him. He let his hands caress down his body, feeling his own muscles, his luscious lips open now. One of his hands went to the button of his pants and the other grabbed his crotch, showing you the outline of his erection, and then he took the black garment off, and he was wearing no underwear. His hand went to his erection again, stroking himself up and down slowly, showing you his body and how proud he seemed of it. His cock was just as beautiful as the rest of him, the head a light pink color, and while he was thinner than Namjoon, he was just as long and curved upwards, and it made you wonder if he could hit that spot without much effort.

“We are going to destroy you, and you will take it all. You will be lying there on the bed, ruined, a sinner, and in the end, you will be begging for me to come back again and wreck you.” Jimin’s voice was deeper, his black eyes shining under the lights and the promise. And then he looked at Namjoon. “Have you done it yet?”

You looked confused for a moment, especially when Namjoon answered a no and Jimin chuckled. And then you understood. Jimin snapped his fingers and your arms were suddenly above your head, pressed on the pillow. You tried moving them but to no avail. Oh. Your chest went up and down quickly, your breath faster, but you smiled.

“Oh, this is new. Can you do it too, Joon?” You needed to know. Had he been hiding this from you this whole time? He licked his lips and snapped his fingers, and then your legs were up, an invisible force holding them up and wide open, spread apart for them. You bit your lip and clenched down on nothing, moaning softly, your head thrown back into the pillow. “This is fun.”

You smiled at them and saw them looking at each other smiling as well, but you could not even imagine what was going through their minds. Could they communicate like that? You had so many questions to ask Joon later, but before your mind could wander any further, your body was being dragged to the edge of the bed by Jimin, who was kneeling on the floor in front of it. You had never felt so exposed before and so without control, although you knew all you had to say was that one word and everything would end.

“She tastes delicious, Jimin. You’re going to love it.” Namjoon sat by you on the bed, looking down at the other man, and lowered his head to whisper in your ear, “you want to know another thing I’ve been hiding? We don’t get tired.”

Namjoon bit your earlobe at the same time that Jimin licked you where you needed the most, from bottom to top. You could only moan loudly and arch your back, your fingers closing into tight a fist and your thighs clenching, but you could not move them. You thought he would make you beg for it, considering all the teasing from before, but he wasted no time and started applying pressure to your clit with his soft tongue, short circular movements alternated with longer licks while his fingers kept your lower lips spread open for him. Unable to move, all you could do was take it, the pleasure intensified by your inability to move your legs; there was no escape from Jimin’s tongue on the underside of your clit, its hood up, leaving it exposed and so sensitive to his probing. While Jimin was doing this, Namjoon began playing with your nipples again. They were already hard and a little red from before, more sensitive, so when he started pinching them again the pain seemed to go straight down to your clit, enhancing your pleasure, and he seemed to know this. He became relentless in teasing them, pinching harder, lowering his body beside you to bite at them, tugging on your nipples and pulling them, letting his teeth scrape against the sensitive skin. Jimin’s tongue was also relentless on your clit, and the first time he felt you getting close to your orgasm, he stopped and looked at you.

“Please, please…” you sobbed and moaned; the desperation clear in your voice as Namjoon did not stop.

“Should we see if she can cum only by teasing her nipples?” Jimin’s voice was playful.

“No, please, please, no, please,” you begged.

“Oh, Namjoon, she begs so beautifully. But is it a no or is it a please, do it?” His tongue was between his teeth, his smile wider now, the look on his face pure teasing. You shook your head negatively, a sob caught in your throat, but he continued, “You’re clenching again, Y/n. I think you can do this. But maybe another day,” you let out a sigh in relief, “another day, when we will tease you for hours, edge you until even our breath will make you cum, how about that?”

Jimin wasted no more time and got back to licking you, making out with your pussy, encompassing it entirely with his mouth, and the moment his lips closed around your clit to suck it, you lost it. It took you by surprise; the sensation usually begins with a slight tingle on your belly, and then it spreads to your fingers, but this time your whole body clenched as pleasure overtook you, his tongue continuing to press on your clit while he sucked to prolong your orgasm. You did not know what sounds came out of your mouth, as your ears seemed to be ringing, numb to sounds. You could barely murmur out a weak stop, but he ignored it – which also relieved you, you did not really want to stop–, choosing to insert a finger and then two into you, moving them in and out at first and then pressing them upwards, looking for the spot inside you that made you see stars. You were about to say you were too sensitive for him to continue when he found it, and as you moaned loudly you heard Namjoon say something to him, but you couldn’t understand what it was, but Jimin’s response was to increase the pressure of his fingers and let your clit go. You were confused for a second but you soon understood when you felt one of Namjoon’s hands moving down, his fingers then making quick movements on your clit, knowing it was what you needed to get you there fast again. This time you felt the sensation growing, a tingling on the tips of your fingers, your toes, as it grew and permeated your entire body again. You thought they would relent, and then you remembered what Namjoon had said. They did not get tired.

You lost count after the fifth orgasm, or so you thought it was the fifth; your voice was hoarse from moaning and your clit was so sensitive from all of the overstimulation, and they did not seem like they wanted to stop anytime soon. You could feel the tears that had escaped your eyes wetting your cheeks, and every once in a while, one of them would lick them away while the other continued his assault on your clit, the pleasure relentlessly taking over you again and again. You did not know anymore when one orgasm ended and the other began, the tingling sensation a constant on your entire body. And then, finally, they snapped their fingers again, releasing your body from the invisible restraints.

You could barely move, but they helped shift and turn your body until you were on your hands and knees, Namjoon’s body behind you. You heard the sound of a small foil packet being opened, and then he was pressing inside you, his cock stretching you even though they had used their fingers before. It was always a stretch, Namjoon going in slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size before starting to thrust his hips into you. On his first thrust forward, you opened your mouth on a moan and Jimin took advantage of the opportunity to press his cock into your lips, holding your hair with one of his hands while the other was at the base of his cock, holding and moving it to go over your lips. You licked around his engorged head and then opened your mouth wider, taking him inside and sucking. You could barely keep your body upright, so soon your hands faltered, and you fell to your elbows, the dip in your spine changing the angle slightly and it had Namjoon pressing into that one spot that had you almost screaming. Jimin lowered his body, sitting down with his legs open to fit you between them, inclining his body backward, bending his elbows to have a good view of you, and it made it easier for you to suck him. His view was nice, your body bent forward, your ass being held by Namjoon’s hands while he pounded into you, but your view was not bad at all.

Jimin’s muscly thighs flexed each time he pressed his hips up, fucking into your mouth, his abs clenching, and his face… his face, dark black eyes half-closed, mouth open in a sly smile, licking his full lips still wet with your taste. You maintained eye contact while you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down, sucking hard when his head was about to leave your mouth, and when you went down, you let your tongue lick the underside. It was sloppy, saliva leaving your mouth, making him wetter and easier for your hand to help whatever did not fit your mouth. You were moaning around him, figuring he would like it as much as Namjoon did, and you were rewarded with high pitched moans from Jimin, his head now thrown back. On a hard suck downwards you felt his thighs clench and his release spill on your mouth at the same time Namjoon played with your clit, and you screamed and soon saw nothing else.

You did not know how long you were out, but when you came to your senses again you were lying on your front, covered by your blanket, and Jimin was nowhere in sight. You heard footsteps entering the room just when you raised your head and saw Namjoon with a cold bottle of water and pants on. He smiled tentatively at you, sitting by your side on the bed. He helped you sit, propped up against him, and you took the bottle from his hands, feeling thirsty.

“Hey,” his voice was almost shy, so different from before and from the usual Namjoon. Well, the Namjoon you thought you knew. “Are you ok?”

You nodded, smiling softly at him between sips. You looked around and then looked at him, the question clear in your eyes.

“Hm, Jimin’s gone now. He helped clean you up and left, we… we did not know if you wanted him here for the after. Or if at all. Or… if you still wanted me.”

It was strange, seeing this difference in him. Namjoon was so confident, especially in the bedroom, and after finding out the truth about him, you could not imagine he would ever be this timid.

“I still want you, Joon,” you could barely speak, but you wanted to reassure him, hugging him tightly. He needed you at this moment as much as you needed him. “I just have some questions, but I still love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n. And I’ll answer whatever you want.” He was eager to respond, his relief apparent in his voice.

“The first question is… can we have fun with Jimin again another time?”

398 notes · View notes

yanderelovebites · 4 years ago

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Warning: hinted DDLG, not too explicit but reader does show signs of a Little.

*This is part of a thirst book that is both Fluff and Smut. This is a fluff one with a soulmate reader from the tattoo AU. Some future ones will be connected to this.

It was a long power struggle but the villains came on top. Many heroes and heroes-in-training lost a chip. The chips were made so they could avoid their soulmate in the event their soulmate was a villain or any other type of criminal. Most heroes were executed if they didn't match up to a villain. Some that were in training were given a choice redemption based on their year and if they interacted at all with villains before. Then, there was the rest of the classes.

These children gathered were found to have been forced to, while in the school, have a temporary working chip as well. They took it out and yet again the villains checked. You were in the last class they checked. You were young so you knew if by chance you were one... they would be older than you. You trembled at the thought of some much older woman or man potentially having right over you... you were raised to believe if someone is a villain, they can't love and they will mistreat their match.

That's terrifying.

To be honest... you hope you bleed out, but it's been slow. It'll close only to reopen if people are too rough. And it was a sloppy job. You see, you were stabbed because you were the forced 'volunteer' of what would happen if any of you resisted. They said for being a such a 'good girl and helping' they'd bandage the stab wound.

You hear the door open and you and your classmates are picked up. You didn't fight it. You were only a general class so judgement wouldn't be too harsh after they realize none matched a villain. You all were put in a line alphabetically. You were no. 14. You shiver as you see them scan the soulmate tattoo on the class rep. They pulled her away to the right... she would be okay right? The left is where the... soulmates have been pulled. Over there are nurses forced to be there. It's terrifying... this whole situation. You can't really describe it...

As each person went ahead, not single before you went to the left nor were they moved forward to die by the leader in all this....

Tomura Shigaraki.

You trembled a bit as the last person before you was moved. You trembled partly in fear and partly in pain. It still hurt. The men picked you up like the last and put you on the scan. Unlike the last thirteen people, there was green flash once it scanned the back of your neck... your tattoo was a hand with spider lilies growing from the palm. You were picked up but... brought to the left..?

The left...!

You didn't see who it was. They only said the match would appear on top of the machine, but those being scanned can't see that. A nurse takes you and says she's just going to check you over because the villains were definitely rough with the others. You could only nod.

She takes your clothes off and gasps a little "W-Were you the 'example' dear?" You nod again and she tells you to lay back as she fixes this and phones the doctor. Things got hazy from there and at some point, you passed out sometime after the doctor came.

You woke again in cozy bedroom. You were on a soft, but firm, mattress with purple sheets and a black bed cover. Under it was a fluffy blanket and even more at the foot of the bed. You had pillows around you and a couple stuffies. The nurse was at your side and smiled "Nice to see you're awake dearie. Please don't move, we don't want you to reopen the wound or undo the stitches. I was checking on your monitor. I will get someone to bring in food, alright?"

You replied hoarsely "A-Alright, ma'am..." She scurried off so you can better look around, but only on your back. There's an empty cork board, a simple desk with what you can assume are notebooks and pencils. There's a stain-glass window that cant be open and you can somewhat see has bars on the other side.

The walls were a dark shade of purple and the curtains were also black like the bed cover. There were color changing lights around the ceiling and in the center of the ceiling appeared to be the main room light. There was a TV hooked to the wall with - Blue Ray and an Xbox set up. The TV was on a clothes dresser.

You waited a few more minutes and a young girl came in with eggs, toast and some juice. The helped you sit up so you wouldn't open the wound and they supervise the meal.

You get sleepy after and they help you go back to sleep. You unconsciously hugged one of the many stuffies. You loved stuffies... back with your horrible mom who only cared that you be in a dumb hero school, you had many on your bed.

You held it close and let your dreams take you. This happened repeatedly that you asked the nurse if they put stuff in your food. She said "Yes, h-he asked us to. It's to make sure you don't reopen the wound... I assure you it's just until your fully healed, then you won't need that anymore!" She nervously chuckled it off. You latched onto her sleeve.

"Ma'am, I never saw who was flashed on the machine as to who my... mate is. Do you know?" You asked her. She looks at you sadly... "Miss L/n, it's the very man responsible for our nation's hell. Tomura Shigaraki is your match," she said as you let go. She scurried away once again.

Tomura Shigaraki.

The man who broke Izuku Midoriya. (He's alive babies)

The man who disabled your mom's sperm donor... (daddy issues :3)

A man who can leave you literally in dust is your soulmate?

Someone who has killed thousands?

The man who did the executions?

The man who you felt stare at you and your peers like you're insignificant ants?

You could only hold the stuffies, now frightened once again of your unfortunate situation. The second nurse comes again and you eat swiftly again. Would you feel safe knowing the stuffies and Blankies and the pillows you hugged so close were his doing?

Heh.

The man from the security screen room wouldn't know yet. He always kept watch of you there since that day. It was maybe two weeks ago. You're his, you had no choice. He never had the choice either. He's yet to explicitly interact, afraid one slight action from either of you would destroy your fragile body. On one hand, he could get a quirk disabling room-they had one available-and force you to share with him, but that could lead to safety issues.

It would be best left as a room used when you both are ready for it.

He knew you'd enjoy the stuffies, they questioned your mother through threats. She's expected to release some of your materialistic treasures. Anything significant. He, quite amused, enjoyed watching you ask finally who you were stuck with, although didn't like the nurse's tone. You seemed scared, but Tomura knew it would be that way. It's why he spoils you. He's bound to be shitty so you might as well get something good, right?

He really didn't want to admit he liked the idea of being able to care about someone. To be able to love them without any other reason than it's what he craves.

He hopes he won't have to discipline you too much once you're fully healed...

—

Eventually, it comes to the nearing point of your healing process, but also the fact you've grown an immunity. The drug only left you unable to move now. It was quiet. No sound and unable to open your eyes... it's like a horror film. At least you know no one would harm you... but it still scared you.

After a good while, you hear a door creak open. You hear unfamiliar footsteps. These ones are more... stealthy. The nurse's were hard and left a tapping sound once it met the floor. This seemed quiet, as if he didn't want anyone to know he or she is there. You feel the bed sink in and wish you could open your eyes.

They stroke your head with only two fingers. It felt... calming. Your body accepted his touch like second nature. You hear a rough voice say "So innocent..." They gently move hair away from your face. "I wonder how you're fairing inside that little head of yours, being confined to a bed, no freedom besides what little conversation that nurse has with you... I'd imagine its boring," the voice said to your immobile body. After some thought... the voice sounded somewhat familiar.

He strokes your head again with two fingers. "You like these don't you... the stuffed animals. You cling to them like a small child, it adorable. I'm glad you like them so much... means I didn't waste time picking a few for you after that long day of going through your entire school," the voice said. His last sentence was all you needed to know who this was without any doubt. Tomura.

"You're mine regardless," he said, twirling a piece of your hair with his index finger, you assume anyway. "When you heal, I'll make sure you understand what that means," he mutters, almost too low for you to catch. It was creepy, but comforting, knowing he's talking to you while unconscious-or at least he thinks you are.

It becomes quiet, the only thing you hear is the clock, your breathing, his too, and the fabric static from your pillow. Yet, the warmth of his fingers never stops moving. They pet you almost robotically until you hear a beep from a watch. He sighs. "I'll be back tomorrow, awake or not..." he said. You blushed in your sleep as you felt chapped lips kiss your forehead, but then they leave along with your soulmate. He's gone with a simple thud of the door closing...

All while you long for his warmth again.

#yandere #yandere bnha #yandere x reader #yandere bnha x reader #yandere mha #yandere boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #yandere shigararaki x reader #yandere tomura x reader #yandere tomura shigaraki #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura #tomura shigaraki #Tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #shigaraki x reader #fluff

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neoraso · 4 years ago

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royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of”

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

“would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door

u slept a lot better that night

from that point on you could not get rid of minho

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings; but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago

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i want to ask for help. but i cant tell when would be a good time. because u've said before that therapy doesnt work unless YOU want it to, and i dont know WHEN i will want to. i just know that ive been feeling like this for as long as i can remember and that if i dont do SOMETHING about it, i might not even live.

i feel like im scared to ask for help because what if? what if i actually do better? i cant imagine living without thinking about dying every second. there is a scary sense of comfort in it, but its familiar and its me but its ME and i dont want it like that.

i,,, i dont know why this is going to you, but i do know i admire your opinions and i guess i just want to know. when. when does it get better.

When... hmm, as Yoongi has said before, these kinds of feelings are like seasons. I don't personally think they ever "go away" - you have good times and bad times, sometimes with reason, sometimes for no reason at all. At least, that's how it is with me. Going to put the rest under a break.

"Get better" is a vague term. You can argue you're already "getting better" because you recognize something needs to change, but that doesn't really feel statisfying because you're still in the same mental state, right? Then, is "getting better" a generalized state of more happiness? Could be. But, if you've always been in the darkness, well, shit, how are you supposed to know the light is the light? You've never seen it before. Then, does "getting better" mean... being like everyone else around me that seems like they're "good"?

That's the greatest lie of all.

I've said therapy doesn't work unless you want it to, not because you need to feel a certain measure of desire to change, but because you can't walk in there thinking the therapist is going to change you. If you have the means to try, you should to to therapy and just try it, because knowing you need to do something indicates that you already want to change. Reaching out to someone, stranger or not, already indicates you don't want to be like this forever. It might work, it might not. Therapy really depends on the therapist and finding a good fit is very difficult.

I'm going to tell you a bit about my journey. I have no idea if it will help you, but maybe you're interested.

I grew up not knowing love. My parents had an arranged marriage and, in their case, they did not love each other. Probably still don't. They're still married. I guess they tolerate each other, I don't know. In any case, it was very dysfunctional. I didn't know anything about maintaining healthy relationships, showing affection, or the value of people. I was seen as a means to an end, not really as their child. It was mostly my mom, but my dad was neglectful and wasn't really part of my life even though he was there the entire time. Because of this, I didn't value myself. I became very depressed and, if you've read my work, there's hints of what I've done to myself. I thought about dying. A lot. All the time. Planned it, dreamed it, wished for it.

Then, I moved out and entered the next phase of my life. Made a shit ton of mistakes. Destroyed friendships, had a ton of questionable relationships, chased love that was never there, fell apart. I was an "adult" but I was still the same - still wanted off this fucking Earth. But there was a difference. This time, I finally realized something.

These had be been my desicions.

My choices put me in that position. Nobody made me do anything. I was being self-destructive because I wanted to. And just like how I put myself there, I could take myself out.

So I did.

Not easily, mind you, but I did. I switched my surroundings again, put myself among people who had my best interests in mind, found my close friends, had a great time. Did shit everyone else did, went on cute dates, hung out with friends, traveled a lot, took pictures of delicious food, had an Instagram life.

Hated it.

I wasn't myself. I had pushed down my past and pretended like that shit wasn't real. I had a good life, so I'm good, right? I'm cured! I have what everyone else wants - I do what I want, have a good job and loving people around me. Yeah, no. I was "better", but I wasn't better. Far from it. I used to draw, write, create. In this phase I did none of that. I felt empty. But I was happy! Shit, what else can I do?

And then I discovered BTS.

Music does a lot of things. In my life, they defined the phases of my life. Rock and metal saved me from ending it when I was stuck in the darkness. In the time of empty happiness, I listened to music, but nothing stuck. I did, however, broaden my horizons and listen to everything, finally learning that all music has its merits and that I could find something I liked in nearly every genre.

However, I wasn't committing to anything, and that was because I couldn't commit to myself.

At first when I listened to BTS, I thought they were really cool. I went from era to era, mostly listening to title songs. Then I was bored and listened to their other stuff. I was curious about the lyrics I liked. They were usually rapped by this one guy, and I learned to recognize his voice and wait for his parts, because they always ended up being my favorite.

Yeah, just guess who it is. :)

I thought, well shit, I have no idea what he's saying. I should look it up. Went to look up the lyric translations of their songs, finding SUGA's parts and yet another epiphany.

Why am I pretending?

I'm reading these lyrics and I'm like, shit. This is it. This is me. These are all thoughts I've thought and they're here. They're real. Someone else thought them in the same way I have. And I am, indeed, still feeling these things, but pretending I'm not. Pretending it's impossible to acknowledge the person I am, that teenager wondering why I have to live when I could just fucking not, and who I've become, an adult with no sense of self but happy, and how they somehow can't coexist even though they already do. They're all me.

It wasn't very fun facing those feelings again, but I did it because I needed it. I needed to work through them and stop pretending so I could be myself. And now I am, because I can see it. You can see it. I create, not for anyone, but because this is me.

Maybe a little hypersexual. Kind of insane. Borderline cocky (but I am hot though, I'm just saying). I write, I draw, I create, I have fun, I cry, fuck, I do it all (swallow dick real fucking well too!). I do everything I want to and live how I want to.

This is just one way, one life among billions. You might not go though this (technically, you're already on the BTS phase, you know) and most likely your journey will be different. Because "getting better" is a personal thing. It is what you want in life, who you want to be, and I didn't know who I wanted to be until I lived though all kinds of shit, learning about other people's lives, and found someone who let me know, hey, you can brush past or you can soak into a heart. Change will always happen. You can live however you like. In some ways, you grow up and become an adult. In some ways, you stay the same, always young, always learning, always growing up. Sometimes people give up their young self because they think they have to. And maybe they do. You don't really have to though. You only have to be open to the idea there is also comfort in other things, that the you that you've known all your life is not the only you that will be.

To live a full life is to have many things, not physically, but mentally - memories, thoughts, past, present, whatever you want to hold on to, hold on to. No one can take them away from you. You will become more than just that. Every day, you will wake up to a new self that encompasses all your other selves before that. If you're impatient and want it now, run. Read up on things, surround yourself with all kinds of people, try activities you've always wanted to try, experience shit and find out what you like, what you hate, what you can modify to suit you better.

Find out what it means for you to get better and you'll discover, hey.

You're already there.

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slidewhistlebj · 4 years ago

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TUA Season 2 is finally here! I think it was a really cool season with some really awesome potential, but there are some parts that I think really didn’t work and this is how i think they should have been fixed

(Spoilers for Season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Obviously)

i think landing the siblings in different years was amazing, they got time to explore themselves and we could see their personalities through what they did

On the other hand, they didnt devote enough time to those storylines so it never felt like they had a solid purpose (for most of the siblings), it was more to show “time has passed”

How did Luther end up boxing under a gangster? How is he adjusting to no dad, no academy?? He was alone on the moon, He was left behind by his siblings in the academy, now he is alone and in a whole other *time* like i wanna hear about that!

Klaus has mansion and a cult and had a girlfriend benefactor lady?? Like: lets get into that! if the show wants humor that can be amazing

but it can also be really interesting and deep for exploring klaus’s need for both personal space (physically and somewhat emotionally) yet also his need for positive attention from whoever will give it to him!

More on that alone now track: the opening scene with their fighting was built to get us hyped

it fucking worked, that shit was amazing

but along with wishing that we saw more of their individual stories, i wish some of their growth had been gradual

like Klaus should have been showing off ghost stuff with his cult which is part of why they follow him which would set up his new ability to summon and conjure multiple ghosts at a time

instead of it being a throw away scene at the end where he gets caught

or Diego could have been shown in his ‘alone in dallas’ storyline to be trying to escape multiple times from the asylum and in that, figuring out his ability to start affecting other peoples shots at him, etc

Stuff like that would have been a great way to both dive into the characters *and* ramp up their abilities

Moving onto The Commission who i absolutely love so so much

Hell yeah u funky lil time-space assassins

I think that the Handler should have stayed dead

her return to the show while awesome (because she is played so well by her actress) continues this problem for the show of seemingly running in place where things dont have consequences like they should

I also think her return made a very campy feel to certain parts which is fine, the story should have fun! but it doesnt fit with the vibe very well with the other more serious plots

Imagine a storyline where the Handler is replaced by Carmichael, a competent replacement with no close personal relationship to Five

A head to head show down throughout the season of Five trying to outthink and outwit Carmichael and Commission Agents to get a briefcase

The misdirects!

The drama!

The action sequences and reveals!

More Screen Time for the Cool Ass Talking Fish 2k20!

All of which culminates in the board of directors scene but now with real weight behind it for the audience because we have been watching these two face off with one another for a season of build up

LET FIVE EAT THE FISH!

Giving that scene to the handler was the worst part of the whole season, u cant change my mind bros

This would also open up Lila to be more of her own person

Her storyline would change without the Handler there so that instead of being actively manipulated by the Handler, she has gone rogue from the commission to kill Five for her parents deaths due to previous planning and programming from her mother

(its only been 14 days for Five, a very normal turn around for him to desert, have the Handler tell Lila her version of the story, get killed, and have Lila get ready to take him down)

its generally the same plot, but Lila is more in the drivers seat

Going from tagging along with Diego in the hopes that Five returns for him to questioning some of her commitment to her mission as she spending time with them, etc

it could culminate in a reveal of her mother to Five and Diego and then a redemption where she helps them get a case from Carmichael in someway, looping her into the main plot in an important way with generally the same story

but skipping the pretty basic “obviously evil character is obviously evil but hero doesn't see it” trope that they fell into

I think that Luther’s arc in this season was awesome 10/10 gold standard

he was still him, but this storyline showcases the softer side of his loyalty and lets him grow from season 1 mistakes which is everything I hoped for

Comforting Vanya? Check

Being there for Five? Check

Being a voice of reason but still being a dumbass? Cheeeeeck

Diegos arc this season fell flat for me which was hard because he was such a main part of the plot

This whole season had a build-up trying to break down Diego’s need to be a hero (which they turned to a fucking 11 from last season?? he was not *this* intense last season, im not quite sure why they made the switch), telling him that he isnt / cant be the hero

I assumed this was leading to Diego having a big moment or sacrifice that proved that hero or not, he cares and the effort that he puts into all of these different things matters

But it just didnt??

He didnt stop the president from being assassinated, he didnt save vanya, at the farm he got trapped under a tractor

it just felt like the point was “haha see he isnt a hero”

which,,,,,,okay? What the point of that??

His involvement with the Commision was weird too, i didnt care for him being a part of that storyline very much, it just didnt add anything

Allison’s arc was just on the edge of greatness for me

it was an awesome choice to put in her in a position where she wasnt treated equally and show exactly what kind of person she is by how she fights back

her not using her rumors also seems very genuine and character based here like: 10/10 character motivations and work

My one complaint, like with just about all the partners in this season, is that she fell in love with a man and just had to leave him

which makes sense and they talk about it but like: she loves him, its hard to picture someone as loving and loyal as Allison just leaving her husband behind forever

Klaus’s arc just needed more *time*

He is a hella deep character but all of his story lines needed more time to be able to address that complexity

Show us more of the cult and his ghost powers being used there to trick and amaze and how he has been handling being cut off from the family again

I,,,,,,I understand,,,dave’s storyline

I get the time period

but fuck

that just hurts

I think Klaus not trying to rekindle his relationship with a younger Dave, but trying to protect him from the war was an amazing angle and it needed more time to get the full punch of klaus pulling out all the stops to save him but failing to really land it

Five

My Son

My Trash Boy

I feel like his job as ‘leader of the stop the apocalypse’ movement is good but that was his whole story this time around

He should have gotten more to play off of with the Commission (*cough cough* Carmichael) in his fight to get a briefcase instead of what felt like 10 hours of Five trying to herd his siblings and them just fucking up in someway or another

Five and Older Five was a cool dynamic and im glad they brought him in but again, it just felt like another long storyline attempt that didnt have a purpose as they ended the scene without the case or anything new

Ben’s arc was,,,,,strange

I love Ben and i think his interplay with Klaus is really cool!

But the writers made him fall in love which someone so they could give him a reason to want to possess Klaus which i feel like didnt need to happen

The possession was a good part of the season and could have been taken to some awesome places

It was rough and the ‘consent’ wasnt run entirely well but i think the possession is supposed to be on the line and not quite black and white

its Ben asking to take control of Klaus! That can be conflict! Thats good stuff right there! Ben is selfish! so is Klaus! thats a cool story to get into between them and see how they try to work it out

Ben wanting to connect with his other siblings after the small taste of being corporeal that he got and pushing Klaus for more and more of that freedom into possession territory would be A+ shit

and Finally: Vanya!

I think most amnesia plots are lazy and just a way to stall progress and reset a character so you can run a very similar plot again but this one seemed to genuinely grow Vanya’s character, even when she remembered

She definitely has more personality in this season

And while shes quiet, thats just who she is, she isnt as afraid to take space and speak up which is awesome!

And this stays when she gets her memory back which is very good, i dont want to see backsliding for no reason! Give me growth!

I have two complaints about her storyline though

First Sissy and Harlan

I love both of them and I think they are really cool characters!

Theyre pretty similar to vanya season 1, taking whatever is thrown at them which places Vanya in a more assertive position where she wants to protect them which i loved!

but their ending doesn't sit entirely right with me, just like Raymonds

These characters are in love and they all just leave each other so that the siblings can have a clean, no characters permanently added slate for the next season

it just makes me tired and i really want season 3 to have little to no romance if the only way the show can go about it is to do a love interest per season

My second problem gets its own section because it is the culmination of everything else i have said

episode ten

Vanya is strong af so any writer that wants big final fight needs to very carefully weigh out how to give each sibling their appropriately sized struggle so they get equal ability to contribute

Instead of doing that though, they did my least favorite trope: Evil Character secretly can do everything the heros can but better and without a problem or ***training***

It meant that they could do whatever they wanted with throwing commission agents at them because Luther, Allison, and Klaus were completely added on just to react to things

Five sort of got to do some fighting (<3 thats my lil geriatric 13 year old) but it was minor, he was mainly there to very obviously turn back time when the big bad shoot out happened

Diego got the most to do out of the siblings and it was suddenly knowing a new ability and doing it a little bit

I dont want a final fight to be trying to woo a bad guy to the good side because theyre too strong to fight

I want there to be stakes and drama as the siblings show off exactly what the season was all about, what they learned, how they grew together and apart, etc and to take down the big bad which could have very easily been the united front of the Commission instead of 18% Vanya, 15% Harlan, 30% Lila and the Handler, 20% the Swede(s), etc

Lila’s turn to good could have been to help them sneak attack the commission, maybe in their base so as to shrink the fighting to manageable bites for each character?

That would have allowed five’s killing of the board to draw the fighting to a close, a hard decision for him as he is trying to move away from killing but does so to save his family, always to save his family :’(

Luther could protect his siblings from hits like they showed at the beginning in a way that mirrors how he has been doing that emotionally all season

etc etc etc for all of the siblings so that they each get to show off and have their moment in the spotlight as heros

I loved the season even though i just ranted for like 3 pages, and it has some of the best one liners and line readings ever (”Thats where you come in Five” “Nope. No it isnt”) I just wish that some parts of it had been given some more thought / care so they could really show of the amazing cast, effects, sets, etc without writing in the way

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bluesfm · 5 years ago

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( park chaeyoung , twenty two , & cisfemale ) who ? these days , it’s all about blue hyong, who comes from los angeles & ca and is making headlines as a singer . she currently has a fan count of 42k , no thanks to the rumors of them being inflexible ! but , on the other hand , their most devout fans say they’re actually imaginative . last i heard , they caused quite a buzz when she publicly dissed her new record label and the misogynistic treatment she was receiving from their reps ! it’s no wonder they remind me of long rants in the notes app being posted to her twitter account , empty bottles of wine laying at recording studios’ floors & notebooks upon notebooks filled with lyrics she might never use but refuses to let go of .

well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a dumb noodle from the middle of the south american jungle , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue who’s a muse i have had for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the same messy bitch on the inside don’t worry folks ! so i will provide u w/ some background info on her n some possible connections under the cut . issa lil messy but we’ve been away for a while pls bear w me

blue is the only daughter to a couple of south korean immigrants that came to america when they were in their very early 20s n already expecting blue in order to chase the american dream n create a better life for themselves n their family . their life was pretty hard for a big part of blue’s childhood , while they were both studying n working odd jobs to pay for their education all the while taking care of a child . so blue didnt have the best childhood , not that her parents were bad or anything they just didnt have time for her . nowadays , they are a lot more comfortable in life , since her dad became a lawyer n her mom is a nurse , but they definitely didnt have an easy beginning .

ok so maybe bc they werent present durant most of her childhood they didnt notice a lol of signs that might have made things a lot easier for them , bc by the time they were available to emotionally be there , during her early teenage years , blue was already kinda a mess . she had grown up w very lil structure n refused the rules they tried to instill on her n was already used to doing things her own way . that lead to a lot of conflict between them , since they expected her to study hard n do well for herself in a nine to fiver when she was already sure art was the only way to go n while she did ok , she definitely wasn’t as good as her parents expected her to be .

so ... u know her teenage yrs were basic girl angsty she fought a lot w her parents n rebelled frequently n ran away from home like ... weekly , but she never rly had any real hardships . life was reasonably good but she always had something to complain abt ... just as she liked

[ MENTAL ILLNESS TW ]

but then she reached her late teens they all realized there was something going on other than the usual teenage angst she displayed all the time when she had her first manic episode . her parents thought it was a “ blue thing “ at first bc she was usually a very impulsive person n she rly didn’t have a habit of thinking before acting on her impulses , but her mom quickly noticed the signs of a manic episode when she realized how aggitated n restless she was , specially when blue described an hallucination she seemed to be having . they took her to a psychiatrist , she was admitted to a hospital n diagnosed w type 1 bipolar disorder n very quickly medicated . while the medication brought her out of her episode , n she was allowed to go home after her mood seemed to stabilize , blue also noticed it stunted her severely emotionally n decided ( against medical n parental advice [ pls dont do it fam !! take ur meds ] ) to quit her medication , falling into her first major depressive episode a few weeks afterwards . n for abt four years she’s been living w her disorder , n she doesn’t medicate at all . she’s super open abt her struggles n she has a Lot of them , specially w how much drugs n alcohol she consumes . i never said she was smart yall .

[ END OF TW ]

ok so as u probably assume , blue is an emotional mess . she has a very chaotic personality , n most of it isnt even from her illness or anything she just is a very chaotic person in general ? she is one of those artsy ppl who forgets to wash her own clothes so she ends up wearing the same dress for like , 3 days . she’s super outspoken n outgoing n rly easy at making friends if u can get past the dumbass energy she exudes 24/7 ? but yes just a very outgoing person n a outright mess most of the time . she is also soooo stubborn u will never get her to change her mind abt smth she believes to be right about in any way . u just cant . she loves a good time n loves partying n is the lack of impulse Queen soo if u got any bad ideas she is the one u should go for if u need any company . also .... so dramatic . she makes a big deal of everything n has 0 apologies abt that . just catch her crying over high school musical 3 or smth like that .

but yea on the bad side tho , blue takes up n gives up on projects so easily n she can be super fickle abt things in general . like , she will defend an idea for 7 hours but 2 days later she’s already onto smth else n doesnt even remember being so obsessive abt that other thing ? a mess . is also Quite abrasive ? if she thinks ur acting dumb shes not gonna be scared to call u out on it . can also have a Reaally explosive temper . not usually but specially during manic episodes she can be quite easy to annoy ngl . is very unreliable , especially if ur not too close .. tbh that is something connected to her disorder . when she’s on a manic episode , she will be too busy planning things she will never get around to doing or painting her entire house or spending 3 days awake n drunk writing 17 songs by herself . n during her depression is very hard to get her to do anything n even if she feels terrible , she rly cant be an available friend .

in regards to her sexuality , she’s an open bisexual and also is a crazy romantic n falls so hard for literally no reason . but like ... doesnt have the healthiest mentality for relationships ? not like in a toxic way but she will usually give 145% of herself at all times n honestly believes all of the ppl she falls for are the one (1) just wants to make things work no matter what . she’s v impulsive w/ meeting n falling for ppl tho so things dont rly end up working n she always ends up heartbroken over it . Well . At least she’s trying right ?

in regards to her career n art , she’s posted youtube covers n original songs for a couple years and gathered a decent following ? she wasnt huge or anything but she did get a record deal w an actual big label out of it a few months ago . blue was pretty happy abt it but then when the recording process started she realized they werent treating her as she thought she deserved at all ? which resulted on her taking her thoughts to some reps of the label n when she didn’t feel any difference in the way she was being treated she took it to the public ? which definitely caused quite a sitr bc she wasn’t a huge name but she was big enough ? so now she’s in some considerable trouble w her label but Also more famous than ever so they are choosing not to bury her for now ? she’s in some definite trouble though so it’ll be fun to see what happens next n what her moves will be ? spoiler alert : it’ll prob be smth dumb.

i still have so much to say but i’m so lazy wow . dont start ur intros so close to opening time folks thats my tip as an old internet auntie . OK SO ONTO SOME CONNECTIONS NOW

some label mates who she may or may not get along with ?

hookups !! she prob has a few she regrets too bc who doesnt am i right

best friends !! ppl who actually support her n she loves w no restrictions just love all around friends

exes </3 not gonna lie i have some sad ideas abt this one

good influence bc blue is a mess she needs one of those pls someone slap her head n make her drink some water

a fling she has feelings for but may not be requited ... i like my romantic connections to be angsty did yall notice

artistic soulmate !! someone her artistic bitch side just vibes with ? could be a songwriter or singer or anything tbh

some indecisive romantic shit where blue rly knows sh’s too messy n this person is too amazing ? but they still have feels so ... now what ?

this is p mcuh it ?? it has taken so long to finish this i hate myself but HEY if u like blue or dislike her u should hit me up so we can come up w some plot ideas ? i wish i had a quirky goodbye idea but my brain has just quit working guys so u get nothing from me other than a good old fashioned goodbye thanks for ur attention i love u

#cala.intro #sometimes i surprise even myself w how unorganized i can be #i am sorry this is so messy im trying to keep it on brand tm #also i cant believe i actually finished this

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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The Return- Part Three

Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit

Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.

Your POV

Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.

The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way.

However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.

Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...”

“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers.

With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...

-----------------------------------------

Ivar POV

Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.

“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right.

It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone.

“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.”

I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine.

Your POV

What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.

As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart. Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.

However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father.

“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.”

At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.

“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.

#vikings #vikings fandom #vikings fanfiction #vikings history channel #vikings ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #ivar x reader #ivar #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn ironside #bjorn x reader #hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #ragnarsdottir #ragnar lothbrok #ragnar x lagertha #ask to tag

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wokeastroke · 5 years ago

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Risal’s families: Written by Risal, obviously. Response B: A foot in the door. An inch. A handhold. Often the hardest part of persuasion was finding one of those to start with. From there, a clever mind could make whatever fragments it held sway over fall into place. But it all depended entirely on that first blow. Get them to surrender once, and with the proper encouragement, they would do it again. And again. And again. The servant who greeted her at this mansion’s front door for example. Kind, nervous young man. Not difficult to pry little scraps of information out of. There were handholds aplenty and the skinny waif of a boy was all too ready to surrender what he knew. Nobody had come to visit the residence in weeks, aside from an overburdened courier. He was one of the few members of staff who had kept their jobs since the end of the war. The lady of the house was not entertaining visitors at this time, but she was in fact home. When it became clear that the Ren’dorei would not be satisfied until she was allowed inside, the boy tried to politely make his retreat. And then Risal really put her foot in the door. It was not long after that Risal stood in the threshold of an impressive bedchamber’s entrance, the doors to the room splayed out to their fullest extent on either side. It had been a struggle to throw them open with a dramatic flair, the solid, heavy things. But the effect was worth it. Especially as the boy who greeted her, now red-faced from nipping at Risal’s heels as she moved freely about the manor, caught up. And also caught a glimpse within the bedchamber. “Oh- oh gods, my lady, I am so sorry. The elf just-” A hand rose. And that was all it took to silence the flustered man. The Lady in question was presently seated at her desk. Even at rest there was something graceful about her, and it started in posture that was effortlessly perfect. And continued in her features. She did not possess the roundedness nor the freckles most born and bred Kul Tirans did. Instead, there were high cheekbones and a starkly defined jaw, a thin nose and similar lips. Her eyes were the most striking of all, grey as a polished blade and similarly sharp. She did not flinch from Risal’s gaze. Even as the chill of the halls seeped into the room, and the human quickly found herself woefully under dressed in her nightgown. A hearth did little to stave off the growing chill of October in Kul Tiras that penetrated the rest of the building. But, at least the Lady of the house was better dressed than her companion. If only slightly. Ah yes, her ‘companion’. A whore. From the breasts overflowing from a corset half unlaced to the bare, creamy expanse of her legs, back up to a face painted just exaggeratedly enough to tell the story of what the girl was. Her lengthy blonde locks were a certifiable mess- as were her lips. The cherry red lipstick smeared haphazardly about. As though her appearance weren’t damning enough evidence, she had been draped over the Lady’s lap upon Risal’s arrival. Quite the thing to discover. And the Ren’dorei was nothing if not a cat with the canary between her paws. “Make tracks. Both of you.” At the Lady’s words, both whore and servant fled. As their footsteps faded down the halls, the Lady rose. Every movement made at a pace calculated enough to appear unhurried, but purposeful. When her eyes left Risal’s, she did so to look into her vanity’s mirror. Dabbing away at the lipstick smears that decorated her face until they were but a memory. She did not speak again. And while it was a purposeful lack of manners on the human’s part, Risal couldn’t bring herself to care. It gave her an opportunity to reconsider the Lady. Clara Whittles. The last of a minor noble house and sole proprietor of the Crimson Hoof. Before meeting the human in person, she was already something to be respected. Most nobility was entirely useless in a more practical sense, but Clara had done well for her family. A shrewd mind served the woman well in doubling the Whittle family’s holdings during the scant seven years she had been the head of her house. She had turned an average stock of Kul Tiran warhorses into a symbol of superiority. Truly, a shame that the war had been so unkind to her. It almost made Risal expect to find a weeping mess. Evidently, Clara was made of stronger stuff. “Bad timing?” “Quite the contrary Miss Risal. I’ve been prepared for your visit for some days now.” The woman spoke as she stared into the flames that danced around the base of her hearth. Risal was given no more than the verbal acknowledgement, and a slight cant of Whittle’s head. As though the Lady were listening to the buzzing of an insect rather than a guest. “You need no introduction of person nor purpose. Speak your piece.” “Very well.”Risal replied smooth as a heated blade to butter, not to be deterred so quickly. Nor easily. “I have not come to steal your land as I am sure is the expectation. My offer is joint ownership, everything split as fairly as is practically possible. The finer details are up for debate but I will pledge an injection of funds into the Crimson Hoof of a hundred thousand gold the moment the papers are signed. Not to mention a variety of-” “Stop.” There was an audible clack as Risal snapped her jaw shut. Okay then. “If I wanted gold, I would have accepted one of the dozens of other offers that have been made in the past weeks. Don’t look so surprised, you are scarcely the only one who knows the value of my land. Nor are you the wealthiest.” Clara waved a hand at the disgruntled noise that came from her doorway. “Calm yourself, if I desired nothing from you, you would not be here.” The Lady paused once more, leaving Risal time to realize her worth. And the fact that it depended entirely on Clara’s own interests. “You are young for one of your kind, aren’t you? They say an elf’s ears always give their youth away, because the older they are the less they move. Until they still forever.” “That is to say Miss Risal, this venture may be a pleasurable pursuit to you. A fanciful whim to entertain yourself and Felo’dorah until another war arrives. My family line dies with me, but the others? Generations of Fairworths and Galihans will come and go before you care to notice. And that what will be their birthright? To be neglected servants. Peasants to toil while you reap the rewards. Entertainment you surrendered when your attention was tempted elsewhere, because you’ve the luxury of time to waste.” “I do not. In the coming years, I will either mould a legacy worthy of my family, or forever be the one who destroyed the Whittles name. With that said, I am of the belief that joining your little… fledgling empire is a wise step towards a satisfactory end. But you will own nothing of my lands, nor the Crimson Hoof.” Clara held her tongue when she heard Risal step forward, finally crossing fully into the bed chamber. She still hadn’t turned to see it, but it was far from difficult to imagine the scowl on the Ren’dorei’s face. Especially when the woman spoke. “Perish the thought that I insult you my lady, but these lands will be mine whether you make it an easy transaction or not. Sooner or later you’ll be unable to retain ownership, the expenses of running a place like this being as they are. At which point you’ll be forced to sell. If not to me, then to someone else whom I might find to be a more agreeable individual.” And of course, Risal could not have been more wrong in her assumption. And, of course, Clara was all too prepared to explain why. _____________________ “A fine, handsome stallion. Truly deserving of his name.” Risal watched with quiet distaste as Clara showered Noble with affection. The Lady was not wrong, for the steed was indeed fine and the handsomest horse either woman had ever lain eyes upon. Even still, Risal wished he would be somewhat less than perfect for a moment. Nip at the human’s hand perhaps. Kick dirt up on her dress. Anything really, would suffice. But Noble did no such thing. Because beneath all the rippling muscle, and years of training that had prepared him for war alongside a seasoned rider, the damned horse was sweeter than sugar. Every affection accepted with soft, appreciative huffs and a look from those surprisingly intelligent eyes. There would be no apples for him later. Traitor horse. “I am glad you think so. Noble deserves to be appreciated by whomever cares for him, though I know you will far from disappoint, my Lady.” Clara nodded her agreement. And for a time, that was the end of their conversation. There wasn’t much more to speak of given that their matters of business had been settled, and now, Clara had met Noble. It gave Risal a much needed moment to breathe and admire the lands of the Crimson Hoof. The acres upon acres of fenced off fields. A hedge maze not terribly far from the manor. A private pond just large enough to warrant the little dock and row boat that rested over it’s otherwise pristine surface. Picturesque. That however, was not what caught Risal’s eye. It was clearly an abandoned structure. Smaller than the main manor, but not by much. A tad overgrown from neglect and poor ageing but imposing all the same. A tidy sum of gold and the input of a stylish eye would turn the derelict thing into an abode to be proud of. And it just so happened Risal recently found herself in need of a new home. Even if it was essentially right next to Clara Whittle’s manor. “Lady Whittles. I don’t suppose you have any particular use for that building, have you?”

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kagamin3ko · 5 years ago

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important rant

so its a ranting about differents topics

I saw a lot of people talking about how communism is awful and harmful (like for example a friend back when i was hospitalized at the clinic castelviel) and a lot of people on internet they often refers to what they heard of stalinism but im referring about the ideology of Marxism and Leninism

What is harmful is the huge gap between richs and poors and it leads to that, i like the ideology of communism, after if it can works in practice its another subject (very controversial and i may not be the best to talk about that matter)

Like in France they continue lowering the aids for poors and cutting the helps (like for example in health for the handiccaped, the family of autistic people/autistics people that directly touches my family or even less and less medicaments are being reumbursed by the security social) and increasing the aids for richs (like they werent enough full of money and needed more) and higher the taxes for the poors and lower those of the richs (lowering the weath tax) ((like my dad says: stealing from the poors to give to the richs: reverse peter pan))

Seeing all these people in misery like in Toulouse and even in smaller city there more and more! That’s heartbreaking, infuriating and unfair !

and there you have people who say bullbull like “those people doesnt even work they searched it its their fault they are without home if they would work they wouldnt be there”, well you know what? I wish you to be in their misery starving in the cold or heat, maybe you wouldnt be spitting hateful bullshit like that.”they profit allowance so they have money without working they are lazy” they wouldnt be in that misery if that was true you dumbdumb. And you know i even heard worse!

Inform yourself before repeating dumbly what you saw in the media or heard, don’t slallow it like that, you think the medias are objective? they are controlled by your government and your ruler, have some critical mind! cross the informations check the sources cross the sources and proof! Inform yourself before repeating, you’re making it worse by repeating and it’s influencing the mass, the collective consciousness, you may not realize it but its harmful! there are so much people like that and it really shows sadly!

And another things like “immigrants steal our jobs!” (and some even say “they also steal “our women” and they are dangerous and harmful” how dumb can you be? and how full of hate and bullshit can you be?? the persons on top are suppressing your jobs your allowances and making profits from it making tax frauds stealing money from the state without being punished by the law thanks to their power and wealth and you blame those who are in the misery, but its what they want you to believe and its sadly working!

Also islamophobia bullshit that paints muslims like savage murderer and the evil, no! the murderers and evil is not there, looks better who is full of hatred and evil.

And “the demonstrator are violents and dangerous” we saw people manifasting pacifically being beaten up by forces of law and CRS and its not from today at all, and there are videos so you can’t say its not real, these are facts. like some example from my country Gaspard Glanz made a middle finger to the CRS and got beaten up and arrested while (when its the crs who make middle finger its ok). someone who got a tear gas canister in his backpack were seriously harmed and im not spilling false fact you can check these again inform yourself (its in french)

https://www.lexpress.fr/actualite/societe/paris-un-manifestant-grievement-blesse-par-une-grenade-lacrymogene_1802420.html

https://www.facebook.com/LEDOUAISIEN/videos/quand-gaspardglanz-fait-un-doigt-dhonneur-%C3%A0-un-policier-cest-un-outragemais-quan/537176063473076/

and there is sadly so much other incidents

my dad told me about some arms of the CRS and its shocking

https://www.lemonde.fr/les-decodeurs/article/2019/01/31/de-quelles-armes-sont-equipees-les-forces-de-l-ordre-en-manifestation_5417097_4355770.html

->edit:

what infuriate me too and i mention it a little above is how rich people with power or just rich people cant get away with anything, like tax frauding, rape, pedophilia,crime in general (and i have a personal example in my own family its awful my little sister got raped 2 years ago and the jerk took advantage of her disabilities and autism aka her not being conscious of the danger and being easily manipulated which make the crime even worse, well you know what because that old disgusting jerk was rich and my parents exhausted worned out overwhelmed by the events couldnt even come at the end of the legal procedure he got away with nothing some precisions my sister were 17 at the time and he was more than 60 and he lives near my family home, imagine how stressful it can be for my parents to know the rapist is that near while my sister is always wondering around without considering the dangers, and my parents even are feeling guilty imagine all the damages and how traumatizing, my rant here is about the unfairness of the law and the corruption that leads to disgusting people getting away with nothing thanks to their wealth and power and there is so many awful cases like that talking about that one because it directly concern my sister and us her family

sorry if i made typos or grammar mistakes i wrote while i almost didnt slept that night and my treatments even got increased so it heavy on me im really tired i dont even know how i typed all that what my brain is slow because of the med

but it feels great to talk about these important matters it needs to be done even if with my small blog it will unfortunately go unnoticed

and there is more that infuriate me but im too stoned to continue for now maybe i will do this kind of rant about the functionment of psychiatry, of public hospitals the way they treat patients (especially for the eating disorder since its the motive of all my hospitalisation since 2012/2013) and also the matter of the lack of help for families with autistic children/autistic people

you can reblog if you noticed these things too and are infuriatting by them too

#long text post #personal rant #my point of view #important #informing #politic #media #communism #marxism #leninism #manifestation #society #islamophobia #brainwashing

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go-diane-winchester · 6 years ago

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Misha Collins is not the Professor of Slash Fiction

What Misha Collins has done to Supernatural slash fiction, has ruined slash within the fandom and added fuel to the fire of hatred that gay men are starting to have for slash fans. I feel very sad for the teen destiel shippers in fandom, who have fledgling sexualities and instead of letting them explore these things organically and healthily, via slash fiction, Misha wants to school them on slash, a subject he has piss poor knowledge of. Because he is a well known figure, in SPN circles anyway, they assume that he knows what he is talking about. Actors and characters are merely muses, not the foundations blocks for a shipper's happiness mansion. You don’t need their permission or blessing. You don't need their validation. What Misha did was, he made destiel his personal brand. Anything for popularity. And he did it, despite knowing that the other half of the pairing is disapproving of it.

A slasher's sexuality is being exhibited through the stories she writes. Slash fiction is not about an actor, show, character or other external parties. It is internal. It has everything to do with the girl writing the story, and is a reflection of her sexual expression. Once upon a time, women wrote only what they like. If they didn’t like something, they steered clear of it, because that is what people with common sense do. I, for example, can’t read fellatio because it doesn’t do anything for me. I guess its because I am not a man, don’t have a penis and therefore don’t know what it feels like, so I don’t appreciate it. In my stories, my characters don’t fellate each other. If I read a story that is really enjoyable and fellatio makes an appearance, I skip that paragraph. However, I don’t berate the person for writing something I personally don’t like. She wrote it perhaps because she finds it enjoyable.

Today, women are not really writing for themselves. They are writing homosexually appropriate sex scenes, just so that their gay male readers, that are not the majority, don’t scoff at them and go “that’s not how we do it”. Yes, the gay friends in this bubble are happy, but the majority of the slash fans that are mostly heterosexual women are left feeling lackluster. Perhaps that is why there is a general trend for women to “grow out of slash fiction” and even mass media is seeing slash fiction as a teenage girl’s pass time. Women, who are fully grown, and fully aware of their sexuality can’t pretend to like the stories because the stories are no longer appealing. Of course, some Misha fans are A-OK with that artistic injustice because “Misha would love it because he is not a bigot”. It has nothing to do with bigotry. Sometimes, it is best to leave out the sex scene rather than make a select few happy. Slash sex was never meant to be realistic sex. It is, after all, written generally by straight females for straight females. Throw in the bi females as well. Its fantastical, as it should be.

In early slash stories that I read, back in the lord of the ring days, ukes came the way women do, without a hand on them. Why? Because that is how women usually orgasm. They write what they know. However, young sexually inactive girls, listening to Misha and his LGBT slash tirades, endeavor to make stories “accurate”. So now we have lots of young girls, growing up with a better understanding of gay sex than of straight sex. I have even heard a few saying that they wanted to be gay men. Misha is interfering with a natural process and confusing teenagers, which bites because as it is, sexuality is so confusing for young people. Proper slash or classic slash is an artistic manifestation of straight sex. The drivel that we have now is political correct, inclusive nonsense that gay men didn’t ask for and women don’t feel overwhelming enthusiastic about. I don’t know what the ramifications of that is going to be other than women deserting slash fiction.

I would like to point out at this juncture, that as far as SPN is concerned, Misha is a culprit. But there were one more culprit. There was one who communicated with general slash fans around the early 2000s. His name was minotaur. And he tried to school slashers on how to write gay sex correctly because they weren’t doing a good enough job for his liking. He had no business doing that. It has nothing to do with him. Slash fiction is for woman. Gay fiction or bara is for men.

For Supernatural, I like J2 alternate universe. There aren't very many other people left to love on this show. They are all back stabbers. If I write a story, Jensen is always the baby. Baby is the word I used to use during my Lord of the Rings days, before I realized that the word uke existed. Its not the correct way to write Jensen. It is my favorite way of writing Jensen. I like Jensen as the baby. When I write a story where I need the baby to be a kidnap victim or abused stepchild or ethereal unattainable prince, I like to see Jensen in that role. It has nothing to do with him. It is how I like to write. Its about my perception. He is just a muse.

I like seeing Jared as the daddy. Go ahead and laugh. I still smirk about this embarrassing word that I used before I know seme existed. I like when Jared as the savior. I cant see him as a baby because he is so fricking huge and tall, with the rippling muscles, expansive torso and broad shoulders. Its is, for me at least, too easy to write him as a ferocious warrior, then as an abused baby locked away in a dungeon.

P.S.: THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE JARED GIFS.

The Jensen and Jared in my stories are mere avatar of the real actors. They are manifestations of my sexuality and what I like sexually. They have nothing to do with the real actors. That is what hellers fail to understand. They think that whatever they read in a destiel story is a manifestation of the truth. That is why destiel and cockles stories are not imaginative. J2 stories are so diverse because the actors themselves, despite being slash friendly, have never interfered with the genre. They allowed the art form to grow at its own steady pace, organically.

Only the destiel fans do that now. Because Misha turned an innocent art form into a drug, and he is their only dealer. And you know how druggies love their dealers. Reader opinions matter but not about who should be the baby and who should be the daddy. You can't tell others how to navigate their sexual expression. That is what Misha fails to understand. Misha tries to show that he is an alpha. So he is, essentially telling his fans what to write. That is why Cockles stories are one trick ponies. Artistic growth is completely stunted. They are mostly High School AUs with the Jock Dean and Nerd Cas falling in love. Even Twist and Shout was like that. Except that Cas died in the end. From AIDS. No wonder gay men hate slash fans. AIDS has no place in a slash story. Its not a trope or a fetish. Have some respect. And who made hellers think slash was a gay thing? Misha. So blame him.

Mpreg is proof that slash is a female art form. The only other people who write mpreg now, write it as a creative exercise. I used to feel embarrassed by mpreg especially if men found out about it. But now I am fiercely protective of it. Because its one of the last remnants of female sexuality in slash fiction. You don’t see mpreg popping up as frequently in bara, because gay men don’t fall pregnant and therefore don’t have a natural maternal desire. Mpreg is big in SPN. The brothers, Cas, even Kevin have gotten knocked up. SPN is like a regular maternity ward. I realize that Misha might not know anything about mpreg because he hasn’t spoken about it in his panels. If this is true, then I hope it stays that way. I don't want Misha to ruin mpreg, because imagine poor Jensen dealing with that.

I was under the assumption that Misha doesn't know what tin hatting is. I assumed that he thought Cockles is just an RPS pairing. His talks about Cockles has started to make me think otherwise. Misha doesn't realize that he is playing with fire. And the day the penny drops for Jensen, he is going to be furious. He is going to realize Misha is the reason his and Jared's reputation are completely tarnished. He is going to realize Misha is the reason he and Jared get so many threats. That is why, I wish Misha will stop talking about Cockles. Just his interference, by itself, has turned his destiel shippers into a militant group. Notice how his sastiel fans don't do that. It is because he doesn't indulge sastiel. In other words, he neglects the expendable fans, because he assumes, incorrectly, that destiel gives him more clout.

Because he is schooled hellers for the past ten years, they are brainwashed into making slash fiction something it isn't. It is not an expression of gay rights. Its not a sexuality and its not about making the writers do what you want. Even having a civil discussion about slash fiction is hampered because the answer to anything, from that camp, is usually “Well, Misha doesn’t have a problem with it”. Misha is not your father. You don’t have to see slash fiction or anything else through the Misha Collins lens. Use your own common sense. Normal destiel fans understand this. Why cant hellers?

You don't need actor validation to enjoy slash fiction. In fact, in my ideal world, I would hope that the actors never heard about slash fiction. Personally, I find it mortifying. The actors [decent ones anyway] are not there to fulfill your sexual needs. They are not sex dolls. They are only muses because you love them. That doesn't mean they have to approve of your fetishes. The proper definition of slash fiction should be: Slash fiction is an escapist fantasy platform showcasing stories and artwork, by women for women, about male subjects in a romantic setting. Leaving out the words “homoerotic” does away with multiple confusions, because slash is not gay porn. This is what Misha believes and his own shipper fans got angry with him for calling destiel pseudo-porn. Misha researched slash fiction on Wikipedia, like the complete idiot that he is, and it gave him biased, incorrect information. It is the first time I actually saw destiel fans questioning Misha about this subject. Even they acknowledge he doesn't know what he is talking about.

Misha Collins is singlehandedly ruining something he had no business getting involved in. I don’t really bother about what minotaur did to other slash fans, because originally it didn’t disturb my little corner of the internet. Misha had ruined slash in this fandom. When slash was true to itself, in the classical sense, women were still honest with themselves about their sexuality. Bullying was infrequent and slash fiction was not ruined beyond repair. Gay men weren't getting infuriated because women were fetishizing their lifestyle. Now the hellers are bleeding into other fandoms and influencing their thought processes. Misha's rotten influence has had a domino effect. I really wish he would read this and stop.

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legisaskerator · 6 years ago

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vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job.

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man.

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do.

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth.

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one.

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting.

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it

#personal #vent #tw whatever idk sensitive materail or something #i just gotta breathe

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thenobullshtblog-blog · 6 years ago

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Ink Etiquette

Since I am getting a new tattoo in September it’s made me think about all the questions, comments and unwanted concerns that I usually get when I advertise I am getting a new piece.With that, I've been inspired to do a rant style blog on stupid shit people say regarding my tattoos. At the end I’ll answer some typical general questions for those who want to get inked but are doing a little more research first.

First things First-tattoo etiquette, you gonna learn today.

Stop telling people they will regret their tattoos

What do you care? It’s not your body, you don’t have to look at it every day! Who gives AF. I cant tell you how many times people have told me I will regret the size of my tattoos, the placement, and that if all my pieces don’t have a huge significant meaning that im gonna wish I never got them. IT’S NOT TRUE. I am not you, so don’t project your shit onto me-10/10 we have different views about life, Negative Nancy. My two largest tattoo pieces have no special meaning. It’s Art. I love art of all kinds, and wanted it on my body because its beautiful and badass. I’ve had one of those tattoos for over 4 years now, have never regretted it a day in my life and its honestly my most highly complimented piece. So suck it.

Stop asking people if they’ve thought about how they will look when theyre 40 or 80

Well spoiler alert, I take phenomenal care of my skin and body in general and I have full intentions of being a super hot milf until I reach the puma and then cougar stage so I’m really not worried about anything up until my mid 70’s. I do understand the general laws of aging and gravity but can you honestly tell me that 80 year old saggy wrinkly tattooed skin looks WORSE than non tattooed saggy wrinkly 80 year old skin? Yeah I didn’t think so.

If you don’t like someones tattoo-you actually don’t have to Say Anything.

So many people have this burning desire to voice an opinion that was never actually asked for. If you don’t have anything nice to say-don’t say anything at all. Unless they ask you for your brutal honest opinion, I would try and avoid commenting. Now if someone has a shitty tattoo I’m not saying lie to them, but just keep their feelings in mind as this will be on their body Forever unless they get it removed or covered up. I've had people ask me if I like their tattoos-and if I don’t like them either because i’ts not my personal style, or it’s a poorly done tattoo this is what I say “oh wow, who did you go to?” and then I start asking about the artist. That’s a safe bet. You don’t need to comment, especially if your comment is not nice. Again-these are permanent, it’s not a shirt that they can return at the store.

Realize that your preference of tattoo style and size may be different than someone else

Go big or go home, has always been my thought when getting a new piece. I’ve always loved large tattoos, dainty isn’t really my style. I am a little extra and I like that part of my personality to show with the art I wear on my body. I’m so tired of the bulging eyes people give me when I tell them how big my piece will be, or when I show them the ones I have (after they ask). You don’t have to get a massive tattoo and I understand large pieces aren’t for everyone-OK but get your active bitch face under control especially if you’re going to ask someone a question about size. I’m not shitting on the infinity sign you have on your ankle-lets move forward.

Stop saying “my tattoos are for me”

This is also something people say to me once I tell them how large my piece will be, they normally respond with “oh, I’d never get a tattoo that big-my tattoos are just for me”. Cool? Mine are too? I didn’t pay all that money, give my literal blood sweat and tears to the ink table if all my pieces weren’t for me. I honestly prefer to have pieces that I can see in pictures, that are easily displayed where I will be able to admire them every day without being totally naked. I don’t need a hidden tattoo on my ass cheek for it to be “for me”. Unless you literally have a tattoo that you got because someone else begged you to get it for them because their skin physically cant be tattooed for some odd reason, and you want to specify that the new tattoo is for you-OKAY THEN STFU.

Stop asking people how much their pieces cost-it’s tacky.

We ALL KNOW that nice ink isn’t cheap. Generally speaking people don’t go around bragging about how much they dropped on a sleeve. Ink is an expression of Self, not Wealth. If you really like the artist who did that persons piece, ask them for the artists Instagram or website so you can get their contact info and email the artist directly to inquire about pricing. On the flip side-if someone’s tattoo looks like dogshit, don’t ask them how much they paid for it. They probably know it looks like dogshit and it’s a sensitive subject- you asking about the price is just salting the wound.

Before you ask somebody Why they are getting what they are getting, consider WHY you are asking them that.

There are usually only a few reasons why people ask about what someone is getting, whether they know it or not. A lot of people don’t even Realize why they are asking what they are asking until they think about it.

1. they love art, and are truly interested

2. they don’t support tattoos and want to give you the whole “don’t put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari spiel”

3. they want to add their two cents to what it is you are getting, try and impose their ideas or change your mind to redirect your vision. Regardless they will subconsciously judge you by the content of your piece and form ideas about you based on what you’re putting on your body and where.

If you are asking “why” for any reason other than the first one. Kindly fu*k off.

Nobody puts bumper stickers on Ferraris, but how many ‘rraris have you see with custom pant jobs, bruh? And as for you Linda, nobody cares that you don’t like my futuristic post-apocalyptic leg sleeve idea-you’re not changing my mind. Fu*k your two cents if it’s not going toward the bill. And we both know it’s not, so again-kindly fu*k off.

Alright- so that just about concludes my ranting about stupid shit people say or ask. Lets get to some actual Q&A’s/tips and comments.

What does it Actually Cost?

It depends on the artist! Some artists charge by the size of the piece, and some charge by the hour. Whenever I email a new artist I always ask them if they charge by the piece, or hourly-they’ll let you know. From what I’ve experienced I’ve typically had artists who charge between $150-$250 per hour, but my philosophy when getting a piece is “spare no expense”. This is going to be on your body FOREVER. No, I’m not ballin like LeBron, I’m ballin on a budget, so yes I do have to save up to get my pieces-but it’s always worth it. You get what you pay for.

What does it feel like?

The best way I can describe it, is a hot cat scratch over and over again. In some more sensitive areas it can feel like what I imagine branding would feel like. Everyone has a different pain tolerance and skin sensitivity, so some areas may be more sensitive on some, than others. A lot of people say the ribs are by far the most painful-to be honest when I got my sternum piece although the bony part of the sternum was murder, the ribs weren’t bad at all-in some spots it rattled my rib cage so much it kind of ticked. Likewise, some people get inner bicep/tricep tattoos like it’s nothing, the back of my tricep killed me. I was almost in tears. It totally just depends on your skin.

Go the Extra Mile

If you cant find a local artist that you Love, drive. Even if it’s 2-3 hours out of the way. Again, this is going to be on your body forever. I would rather drive an extra 2 hours or so for the artist I know is going to crush my piece, than a local artist who would probably do an okay job. That’s not to say you cant find a good local artist-but if you cant, expand your search radius.

Walk in, or wait?

It depends on what you want, but if you’re asking for my suggestion I would do as much research as you can on the tattoo shop. Look at customer reviews, the artists online portfolios. You'll have better luck than hoping you randomly pick a good place for a walk in. Although I do have a walk in lettering tattoo and it looks just fine haha For a planned piece understand that the artist you want may be booked for the next couple weeks, months or up to a year. Don’t get discouraged, you'll have time to really think about the piece you want, change any details, and usually if they're booked that far out-they're pretty good and well worth the wait.

Color or Black and Gray?

This is a personal preference. Growing up I Hated how pale I was, being a ginger was a struggle all around but the porcelain skin was definitely a target. I hated wearing shorts, and never did all through high school because of how beaming white my legs are. To be honest I didn’t start wearing shorts until I got my First tattoo. Artists and tattoo admirers alike have complimented my skin time and time again, and how the colors in my tattoos really pop because of how pale I am. So, I prefer color tattoos because they show up super vibrant and it makes me feel even more comfortable in this vampire skin. I don’t necessarily think color is better over black and gray and in some cases I think that it also totally depends on the type of piece you are going for. Consider your skin tone, the type/style of piece you are getting and then decide.

Think it over, and speak up.

I feel like a lot of the “regret” that people are talking about with tattoos comes from spontaneous ideas or trends. There have been so many times I have seen a bad ass concept for a tattoo and I thought about finding and artist and setting an appointment ASAP. The next day I will revisit the idea and go eh, I guess I don’t love it that much. I have a Pinterest board that is just for my tattoo ideas, I pin shit on there so later I can look at it and think if that’s something I really want or not. I definitely recommend either pinning similar images of a concept you want, drawing it out, or writing it down in a notepad and then sleep on it. You'll be surprised how quickly you may change your mind in the course of even a few days, a week, months or a year. If you’ve had the same tattoo concept for quite a while, and every time you revisit the idea you still love it just as much-it’s probably safe to start on that piece when you're ready.

When you finally decide to get your piece, the artist will usually have it drawn out in some form, either on paper-or on an iPad of sorts that shows you all the details and potential coloring (if you're getting color). Do Not be afraid to speak up if you don’t like something or want to change something. It is their job as the artist to accommodate your wants especially since they are putting something permanent on your body. Even when you get the stencil on, if you don’t like the placement, or want to change something-let them know. They can remove the stencil pretty easily and print out a new one after they fix whatever it is you want fixed. But don’t just deal with something if you're certain you don’t like it. You're gonna have to look at it every day.

Artistic Freedom

This is just another opinion-and by no means a fact. But I’ve found by giving the artist freedom on my piece has always made them turn out even better than I imagined. There are quite a few people out there who go in with a very specific piece or picture in mind and are disappointed when their piece doesn’t look EXACTLY like the picture. Well, that’s pretty hard to replicate as it is but especially when that artist isn’t the original artist of that picture or drawing that you bring to the table. This does not go for portraits-obviously you want your Marilyn Monroe to look like Marilyn Monroe and a portrait artist definitely should be able to replicate that haha I am talking about more “creative” pieces you want. My suggestion, have a few pictures of things you like (and some things you don’t like) regarding the concept of your tattoo and tell your artist to have fun with it. If your artist enjoys drawing up your piece and has freedom to add their flair on it, it will probably turn out better than you micro managing the shit out of them. I’ve always given artists freedom and I’ve always been crazy surprised at how the piece they gave me turned out way better than anything I had in mind.

This is all that I can think of? I probably lost 99% of you by the first 500 words, but to those of you who made it to 2,376..cheers.

#tattoos #tattoo #ink #ettiquette #lifestyleblog #rant #letsgetweird

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actualbird · 7 years ago

Text

AGES AGO somebody sent me an ask about a star trek au and i cant find it anymore but i did try to outline a fic but i dont rlly have the time or motivation to make a full fic so heres what i did put down anyway

a bmc star trek au in bullet points

WELCOME TO THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE. let’s meet the crew!! captain chloe valentine. brash, bold, and hard headed with a heart of gold. got through the academy in three years and totally cheated on the kobayashi maru because she is better than no-win scenarios. her first officer, navigator, and longtime crush since the academy days (but you heard NOTHING, CAPICHE?) is brooke lohst, making sure they go through the stars in the right ways.

we’ve got dreamy academy prodigy jake dillinger who served on another ship since he was seventeen, jesus, now on the enterprise as a skilled helmsman and the ship’s local heartthrob. count chief security officer rich goranski—somebody who swears he can take down four klingons with nothing but a tricorder and a piece of string—along with all the swooners.

chief communications officer and xenolinguistic specialist jenna rolan can mediate diplomatic ties in ten languages but she can also start a barfight in over twenty. theres chief medical officer christine canigula who also happens to be one of the most odd (half) vulcans ever but people the crew never minds. not when christine is always the one saving their skin and stabbing them all with hyposprays.

then theres jeremy and michael. jeremy and michael who have been friends since childhood and always looked to the night sky. the both of them have always wanted to be out there, but jeremy always doubted. his dreams were too big for just the earth, but he never thought he’d be good enough to go up into space.

(jeremy and michael who, at twelve, promise on a shooting star that theyll both at least try, and that theyll try together.)

(racking up the necessary grades and high performance for the academy is hell and their high school years are tense because of it, but they get accepted, and by that point, neither of them ever want to stop. it’s hard work and sleepless nights and days where they stumble back to their shared dorm room high and cursing space and space things before mumbling back and forth about how they want to be out there so badly. somewhere along the way, jeremy wonders when exactly looking at michael felt like looking at the stars. when exactly it started feeling like fear and desire and love all at the same time.)

(michael wonders back to the shooting star and wonders if looking at jeremy will ever feel like anything other than hope. than maybe. than what if. than i wish)

michael ends up chief engineering officer and jeremy is chief science officer. theyre both incredibly good at their jobs and theyre both utter fucking dweebs. most of the crew is, really.

and then theyre all off on a three year exploration mission. three years among the stars.

//STAR TREK OPENING THEME PLAYS

most of the exciting drama happens off-ship which makes michael a little grumbly because he stays on ship 90% of the time that’s his job. and he loves his job. he loves the enterprise so much. many ensigns have seen michael talking to the engines in a soft, cooing voice while stroking the metal. michael knows the ship and the ship knows michael (and all of his mushy thoughts because “god, i’m really that person now, that person who monologs about being in love with his best friend to a hunk of MACHINERY…..sorry babe, i didnt mean that. i love you.”)

(jeremy has heard michael call the enterprise so many things. babe. baby. darling. love. the light of my life. jeremy never thought he could be jealous of a SHIP but here he fucking is.)

as CSO, jeremy goes with the ground crew a lot. jeremy loves his job so much. so many new planets and plants and things to study and understand. he usually has his comms on to talk to michael while on planet just to gush about everything. “the main source of liquid here is green, michael. then at night it turns red. what the hell!!!”

the planet in question with the weird liquid is a one on the outskirts of near empty space, a planet the federation has been trying to recruit for a while. strange planet. two moons. plants that glow electric blue sometimes. home to a generally advanced and eerily perfect and in sync civilization. jeremy suspects theyre telepaths (they act like theyre all connected), but none of the other telepaths in the crew can read them. it’s very odd

somewhere back on the enterprise, michael gets a sinking feeling in his gut

turns out the planet is alive and is controlling all lifeforms through a hivemind activated by ingesting a certain pill-like fruit along with the green water. ground crew gets their brains taken over and the usually on ship crew (michael, christine, brooke, jake) have to go down and save their friends. hell yea

aside from that odd movie-like barely main plot, imagine the shenanigans more on the series flavor!! getting stuck in part of the universe that traps them in a timeloop. weird virus that makes jake start fencing through the halls shirtless. brooke accidentally getting engaged to alien royalty while chloe resists the split second urge to shoot her phaser. christine not letting any red shirts die on her watch at all but wondering just why theyre so susceptible to injury. ykno, the usual.

also pining. in SPACE. michael and jeremy making time for each other in spite of their erratic shift times. jeremy walking in on michael monologing to the pipes about somebody he’s so in love with and jeremy walks away with a cold feeling in his gut. michael dragging a sleepless jeremy to his quarters after hours of trying and failing to understand a sample. michael lays jeremy in his bed only for jeremy to gently grab his wrist and say with a voice just on the edge of consciousness “stay? please?”

michael thinks of shooting stars and blue eyes and settles next to jeremy, willing himself to sleep against the beats of his heart.

#yes jeremy always says ''beam me up michael''#bmc #be more chill #hc #pining in space

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babiewonho · 7 years ago

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thoughts on shownu nd wonho

[audio of calebcity’s anime villain laugh bass boosted plays] WOW….amira u truly want me dead askfjaskfj wow…Hyung Line…i’ll start with mister wonho bc that’s where my brain is takin me Buckle up!! [this is 2k words when will i die]

my favorite fake maknae…mister babie..something i find very unique abt him is even tho he was supposed to be the leader he also has a lot of youthful naive charm that matches more of a Follower type of personality. like while we saw him be a leader in no mercy, and he did an excellent job esp with gun being covered up for his lack of dancing skill, i think that is a very unnatural state of being for him, and he exerts an unfortunate amount of energy trying to lead others. he has the skills necessary but i think he overextends himself to employ them. his natural state of being is more of a follower in that that’s where he’s more comfortable. he stresses too much about keeping everybody happy at once and takes too much responsibility. he’s naturally a workaholic and sacrifices his health for the sake of work.

so honestly i’m really glad he didnt end up being the leader and i’ll get more into leder shownu later :D but i take it as a blessing that he’s allowed to take more of a backseat and speak up when he wants to rather than always being in charge. tbh wonho is kinda Out Of It all the time and while i think if he was a leader he’d fight to stay in the moment i think he needs that time in his head to decompress. tbh it’s really funny that he cld have been the leader to me in no malicious way just bc he’s never There askfjasf like when minhyuk said he always needs to go looking for him bc he just wanders off and he’s getting coffee and he’s like what :D and he needs extra explanations and stuff all the time and minhyuk n the others need to direct him in what he’s doing all the time.

that’s why i said the fake maknae thing bc in many ways he has a really youthful kind of innocence to him like just a silly child. like when ck took the glass away from him at the awards show so he wouldnt break it kasfjsa and then the bottle like a big brother would do and wonho was like :/ okay…and wiping his tears. we rly see a shift from him as a Hyung to someone who the others end up taking care of in a very natural way. there’s a big reverse dynamic there, in particular with him and changkyun. which is rly interesting! changkyun kind of steps up to be more mature in situations with him. it’s really cute…

when i think of wonho in the position of a hyung, i think it’s in a non traditional way. when i think of him i think of light blue and him being a Healer. he is a big reminder to stay in touch with your emotions and feel them. at the taiwan concert…i believe at least! that it was that one…when everyone was holding back their tears wonho was like just cry!! to hw in particular he said that there were a ton of people there to hug him and support him when he cried so he should just do it so he didn’t regret it later, and he has a very nurturing heart. he makes this one face…it’s like a mix of a pout n a sad smile?? when he pities another member…it’s a very gentle and empathic facial expression…i’m not used to seeing men make that face.

so i think he DOES offer a form of guidance/wisdom as an older member but it’s not in a structural way if that makes sense like minhyuk saying “walk over here” or ordering them around it’s like a Healing presence..a calm spirit to offer Peace and Serenity. being in touch with his emotions i feel also creates an openness within the group where they feel better about expressing themselves, at the very least bc they cld use him as a scapegoat, which i dont think he’d mind. like wonho cried first!!!

part of his openness with his emotions is what makes him seem childish not in an unlikable way but rather…like he never got that Hard adult shell that makes people fear expressing themselves and their true thoughts. when he is happy he is brightly adorably happy he’s literally :DD just delighted and that brings out protective instincts in those who are around him which is another part of why he’s a fake maknae 2 me…he gets teased like everyone else but i dont think anybody cld have the heart 2 be mean to him his eyes are just too sparklie…also his LAUGH…is so loud and genuine and beautiful and it makes me feel such joy and it makes the others happy too nothing is really funny to me until wonho laughs that’s like the official comedy stamp his :D smile n HAHAHAHA laugh n his wheeze

he’s also really stubborn like a child which i find endearing but i know cld be frustrating sometimes but i find it funny askfjas he’s a baby…he asks for opinions n then doesnt care bc he already made his mind LMAO

he is also!! just so so full of LOVE. his heart is so big…he loves his family and monbebes and his members and he’s so transparent about it and it’s absolutely precious. he radiates love and puts a very beautiful calming blue energy into the world and everything about him is very gentle like body language wise. he speaks very softly even though he’s Loud sometimes the words come out soft if that makes sense. the way they are pronounced in spite of volume. he doesn’t spit out words and i think that’s kind of why he stutters so much they’re so soft n undefined they blend into each other. they need more shape…but he also holds things gently and doesn’t exert a lot of pressure in his fingertips. he’s very cautious and not aggressive and is not prone to anger, though he can get frustrated.

i really thank him for his honesty with fans abt how he’s feeling etc bc i think it creates a very nice friend like relationship. he rly cares abt keeping up updated and it’s so precious i feel genuinely cared for lmao…i literally take care of myself sometimes bc of his tweets like dont forget to eat etc and that’s so special

there’s more things i cant think of right now but u know…i cld happily do this forever but MISTER SHOWNU…ur time to shine (forever…)

NOW…shownu is the official leader which is also unique because nothing about shownu besides perhaps his powerful body commands Leadership our eyes are drawn to him because of this quiet power he exudes but he doesn’t have that dominant personality type in fact i find him a very passive person he’s not fussy at all and seems to value group harmony over his own personal feelings

i think sometimes being a leader is burdensome to him for the reason that he has more of a quiet let things happen personality but that’s what’s interesting. the members don’t respect him because he Commands their attention. they follow him instead rather bc they just respect him and Know he’s the leader.

even though leadership doesn’t come naturally to him in the traditional sense and minhyuk often assists or does more tradition leader things and has to remind him to speak, he has a whole different form of leadership where he’s quiet but when he Does say something everyone just respects it and doesn’t question it. i feel ppl follow him out of respect and affection rather than anything like intimidation if that makes sense. they just look up to him and admire him and respect his wishes.

he was a leader during no mercy and ppl followed him without question mostly. he’s really good at having a friendly personality but still making sure people focus during dance practice. ppl might think this form of passive leadership is bad but i think there’s no need for him to interject generally bc mx flows very well with their dynamic and doesn’t need to get adjusted much. he also imo has kihyun and minhyuk as co-leaders which happened naturally and not out of his inability to lead efficiently, so i think if he’s lacking in any way, they’re there to cover that up and i think this also helps remove stress from him.

shownu is also just so likable!! on running man they said when ppl dont talk much, strangely you want to pay more attention to them and i think that’s happened to shownu his whole life. people are watching him without knowing and then when he speaks they’re so pleasantly surprised because he’s so funny and most of it is said in such a flat way, like deadpan humor. he’s a comedy genius because what he says is so unexpected most of the time but also so powerful. if shownu said like…”legs” i’d pee myself laughing bc something abt him is so fucking funny and endearing and goofy and HIS laugh itself makes me laugh too like …he invented comedy lmfao he’s absolutely not boring that’s a misunderstanding of his personality he definitely needs to get comfortable somewhere before his real personality is revealed but he’s gotten a lot better at that which is why he’s been advancing through variety and im so proud of him for that and impressed

also adding to him being so endearing the members just genuinely adore him and i think when he went to law of the jungle a taxi took him to the location and ck said to the cab driver “take care of him/drive safely” which is very sweet and just shows like the Depth of their affection for him. everything he does the members just find so cool and funny and endearing and he brings them a lot of happiness

he’s also such a good fit for the group because he’s so CHILL like minhyuk cld be gnawing jooheon’s leg off while wonho fights changkyun over a piece of shrimp and hyungwon is getting dusted by kihyun and shownu’s like :) i love my family and HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH LMAO like he genuinely adores his members and you can feel that too like not even just things like him giving up lines (hw in beautiful) or splitting his commercial earnings among his team which he didnt even want kh to say but he imagines himself doing things with them in the future like going on trips and he really sees them as his friends/family rather than coworkers and it’s so lovely and beautiful he’s just so goddamn fond of them lol

also hyung line with each OTHER is so precious bc wonho is rly like a little happy kid around shownu n shownu is so calm n chill and wonho is like :DD hello!!! n shownu pretends he doesnt care asjfsafj it’s so funny wonho is just going around hoping for shownu’s love like he said in that fansign note n shownu ignores him n teases him asfkjasf it’s so cute when shownu teases it’s so funny it rly shows just how fond he is and shownu always laughs when wonho laughs and humors him?? and by humors him i mean wonho babbles a lot n makes little silly side comments and if shownu is within hearing distance he always tries to reply to those and he makes wonho giggle and it’s precious and he listens and shownu just really Understands the member’s personalities like when he said he likes when mh talks a lot etc he understands them and just doesn’t want them to change bc he loves the way they are like i kno that sounds fake deep but it’s true…

wonho is just so cute…n youthful around shownu i love the dynamic it’s amazing how similar they are in age like a year apart n yet wonho seems so young around him and shownu just teases him n theyve known each other for a long time n are so comfortable with each other n they work out together like…we love strong muscle men with hearts of gold …also this is just random but wonho pronounces “shownu” so cute n also i love hearing shownu say hoseokie like it’s just adorable shownu always calls the memebrs by their real names n fogets to say the stage ones like who is even calling changkyun “I.M.” at this point who is that….

#asks #analysis

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