#i wish it could be an actual remaster but OH WELL i will accept this cos i was afraid i could never really play it again
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dreamhot · 1 year ago
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nothing to do with anything but limited run games is gonna be releasing copies of one of my fave ps1 games of all time (tomba) and i am Desperately hoping they eventually release the sequel as well cos i desperately wanna replay it and my ancient burnt disc copy is so scuffed i doubt it'll work anymore 😭😭
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monochrome-stars · 10 months ago
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SPOILERS THE ENTIRETY OF IN STARS AND TIME FOR THIS RAMBLE. im covering acts 1-6 so theres your warning now but the ramble is under the cut. fair warning, may not make much sense either
ok trust me on this. this song right here makes me think of siffrin because of the isat brainrot but IT WORKS. AND IT FITS SO WELL AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY
(this is also my interpretation of it and how i understand the song and link it to the thoughts and ideas in my head. im also picking out certain lyrics because its easier to explain, so i would recommend listening to the song for the full thing)
"And I placed my palm upon your collarbone, and I wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow."
siffrin craves closeness with the rest of the party and in the memory of bad touch and the garden room, for example, its clear that they have no clue how to ask for it, and their way of getting that closeness can be odd or just plain weird. like how the song says that "they wish to fall asleep in their marrow", its a very odd way of achieving closeness with somebody, almost like trying to melt into them. (this may be far fetched but it makes sense to me stick with me here)
"There's a hunger under my skin and its gripping at my bones. There's a hunger like a lions and its ripping right through my bones."
its that feeling of hunger that is mentioned over and over again starting at the beginning of act 2 leading all the way into the end of act 5 that siffrin feels and just cant get rid of
"I'm as calm as a baby lamb that is being led. I'm as blue as blood before the blood goes red."
since finding out about the loops, siffrin just accepts the fact that they wont stay dead when theyre killed, and they use it as a way to delete their mistakes. hes incredibly calm about touching tears, about slipping on the banana peel, about using the dagger, all of it. siffrin gets so used to the depression hes falled into and just feels bad all the time. the glass shard that siffrin repeatedly keeps cutting their finger on, and later in act 5, the same glass shard they use to carve stars into their skin. and it ties with the red that continues to pop up throughout the game.
"And how it hurts even in the sun. Its a goddamn joke how we can hurt even in the sun."
everything is fine from everyone elses perspective and theyre completely oblivious to the fact that siffrin is looping through time, spending actual weeks in a hellscape of their own making. hes dying repeatedly and nobody else is aware that this is happening and theyre all blissfully ignorant
"For a heart beats the best in a bed beside the one that it loves."
isabeau refuses to confess his love for siffrin, and siffrin refuses to admit that they crave touch, and yet, both sides love the other unconditionally. (not to mention they literally sleep next to each other every night.)
"Yes, a heart beats the best when in a head, death becomes irrelevant."
after a while, siffrin has become so used to death and dying that it doesnt even matter to him anymore. killing themself is just another necessary evil they have to face in order to get to the end, have the "perfect" loop, and find answers. since they found out they could loop, it has stuck itself in siffrin's mind that "oh i can just erase all my mistakes and start over again" without so much as blinking at the fact that it means dying repeatedly.
"Cause if you're dreaming about dying, then you're not really living, darling."
siffrins entire existence starts to revolve around the dying, the loops, and escaping them. he cant even be happy with the rest of his party because of how terrified he is of messing up. theyre practically conditioning themself to loop at any mistake they make, and they harshly berate themself for it too.
after doing the friendquests a couple times as well, siffrin has those thoughts of "your friends would hate you if they knew why you were doing this" and "if you mess it up, you can just loop back and try again". siffrin stops even paying attention to the present and is so anxious about getting the "perfect loop" that he isnt even concerned about the present but rather the outcome. i think that is ultimately what went wrong with the attempted friendquests in act 5 as well.
"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."
again with that hunger that cant be satisfied with anything. as the game progresses, siffrins thoughts surrounding the snacks and the food always come back to how hungry he is and how its just never enough. it keeps coming back and siffrin is literally starving during the game and it gets especially bad in acts 3-5
"And if you're crying by the moon, in the sun you better lift up that chin."
siffrin was so depressed for the entire game, but then after act 5, its like the sun rises again and they can finally escape the loops and understand that the rest of the party loves them. he doesnt have to bottle it all up until it becomes too much and he can actually begin to enjoy life again after the loops end.
"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."
everything is over, and siffrin can finally rid themself of those feelings of hunger. the feeling is replaced with a want for love and siffrin is finally opening up and letting themself be taken care of by their friends family after all that they went through. the raw emotion in the singers voice when she sings these lyrics also feels very fitting for this
if i could animate, i would definitely make an animatic of this song and the characters to show what i mean because it makes more sense in my mind. i have so many ideas in my head in regards to this song specifically and its infesting my brain
im debating whether or not i should actually post this because its a bit confusing and strange but fuck it we ball
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roomwithavoid · 5 months ago
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i didn’t like it. i didn’t like world of goo 2 and i want to fucking cry about it. i AM crying about it.
world of goo is literally my ALL TIME comfort game. it was my favorite game as a kid. i played it hundreds of times. i have it on my childhood wii and on mobile and on steam i’ve bought it so many times because i love it so much. coming home from school in kindergarten and seeing my brother playing it on the tv, how it was revealed to me my family now had a wii, kickstarting my love of video games. it literally might be one of my earliest memories. one of my first special interests. hell, i had a world of goo themed birthday party in kindergarten! my mom made cupcakes that looked like goo balls with marshmallows for eyes and a cake with donut holes connected with sticks to look like a stack of goo. i played this game before i could read. hell, playing this game is part of what TAUGHT me how to read. i still remember accidentally deleting my save file because i didn’t know how to read the words “erase save data” and crying for days, learning for the first time in my life how to accept loss and try again. and i did. i played it over and over. i played it on my ipad in the car while waiting to pick up my brother from school in the 4th grade. i remember streaming myself playing it for what must’ve been the hundredth time to my highschool friends because i wanted to share something that was so important to me. it never, and i mean NEVER felt like it lost any magic just because i had gotten older.
i was ELATED when world of goo 2 was announced. i couldn’t believe my eyes. it was like the thing child me wished on stars for finally came true, despite me now being 20. and i played it in the span of a couple days, and you know what? i didn’t like it.
sure there were good things, the graphical upgrade was nice to look at, and the remasters/remixes(?) of the old songs were lovely to listen to. but i honestly don’t know if i have that much more to say positively.
the levels were almost entirely these sort of “remixes” of the old levels, usually with some sort of added difficulty. the new goo mechanics didn’t feel fun or inspired, and shifted from the bridge-building aspect to a “look what happens when you shoot liquid in different directions” simulator. the few new mechanics that actually feel fun are criminally underutilized. but none of those issues, issues i probably could’ve overlooked if the puzzles were a smidge more interesting, hold a candle to the section that singlehandedly soured the entire game for me.
like in the original world of goo, chapter 4 takes us into the future, introducing a chapter-long gimmick that completely changes the way the game is played. however, unlike the internet gimmick in the original world of goo, which kept the core mechanics with a new coat of pain and introduced enticing new goo species to play with, world of goo 2’s chapter 4 introduces a split path with 3 different gimmicks that ALL ware out their welcome the second they’re introduced.
chapter 4 almost assaults you with the impression that the developers would rather be making literally any other game than world of goo 2. enjoying the physics based puzzle game? well how would you like to play 2d golf? what about a point and click noir visual novel? no? alright, not to worry, we still have sections that involve goo, but fret not, because we’ve introduced an exhausting gimmick revolving around how coordinated you are with moving your mouse in a perfect circle! oh, your hands are a little shaky? too bad! this level is unbeatable if you move even a millimeter incorrectly! the best (WORST) part of the chapter? it’s themed around the tired cliche of “game company sells out and makes a hundred of their game until they’re unrecognizable garbage” because playing a bunch of intentionally garbage games that masquerade as a game you love when they have nothing in common except maybe one character is always SOOOO much fun, right?
any fucking good graces i had with the sloppy puzzles of the first three chapters were shattered into pieces because of chapter four. there is legitimately nothing cute or funny about baiting your audience, who mind you has waited SIXTEEN YEARS for a sequel, into spending an entire chapter making some shitty noir game that you KNOW is shitty.
not to mention, the strong anti-capitalist metaphor from the first game translates to a muddy “i dunno maybe people have too many babies?” in this game. wog1’s message was so well done and clear and straightforward but wog2? wog2 is all over the damn place. hell if i know what they were even trying to say with half of it. i understood the first game’s message as a kid better than i understood this one as an adult! the only coherent bit of it was the “we have to figure out how to build tracks faster than the train is going” thing which was immediately retconned i guess by the train going in circles????
what a fucking disappointment.
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thewisecheerio · 4 months ago
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I love the political radicalization of Soulsborne girlies.
Dark Souls Remastered
-Aggressively simping for the current world order -Begs you to continue the cycle keeping humanity trapped -#1 Fan: Leopards Ate My Face Party
Dark Souls 2
-Mostly using the current world order for her own means -Says "lol you decide" to the choice of accepting the current order or committing to rebellion -Dirty centrist
Dark Souls 3
-Actively aids and abets terrorism -"Oh, hah hah, guillotining all the nobles and ending the current world order sounds good to you? La la la I did not hear that, I'm just blindly tending the fire, I absolutely would never tell you that you still need to go collect all four Lord Souls to pull that off, hah hah, that would make me complicit and I Could Never, la la la, I'm just a girlie tending the fire…" -Would absolutely "accidentally" drop her access key on the ground for you to use to steal state secrets
Elden Ring
-Doesn't bother to aid and abet; simply does the terrorism herself -Actually does burn this mother down
Supporting dialogue under the cut.
Dark Souls Remastered
Anastacia of Astora: (… Frampt has told me of you…*) That you have agreed to link the Fire… I thank you, sincerely… Finally the curse of the Undead will be lifted, and I can die human… I am powerless, but I will do what I can… Please, save us all… Please.
Dark Souls 2: Scholars of the First Sin
At the Dragon Aerie: "Bearer of the curse. Long have I awaited one such as you, one who might shatter the shackles of fate. One who can set me free. Bearer of the curse, it was my own manifestation that led you here. The ancient dragon has watched over the world for aeons past. Take this. Do not resist. The dragon welcomes you."
During the ending sequence: "You, who link the fire, you, who bear the curse… Once the fire is linked, souls will flourish anew, and all of this will play out again. It is your choice…To embrace, or renounce this… Great Sovereign, take your throne. What lies ahead, only you can see."
Dark Souls 3
Upon giving her Fire Keeper eyes: "Ashen one, my thanks for the eyes thou'st given. But Fire Keepers are not meant to have eyes. It is forbidden. These will reveal, through a sliver of light, frightful images of betrayal. A world without fire. Ashen one, is this truly thy wish?"
[select "Wish for a world without flame"]
"Of course. I serve thee, and will do as thou bid'st. This will be our private affair. No one else may know of this. Stay thy path, find lords to link the fire, and I will blindly tend to the flame. Until the day of thy grand betrayal."
Elden Ring
When unable to pass through the impenetrable Erdtree thorns: "The only way to stand before the Elden Ring… and become the Elden Lord… is to pass the thorns. My purpose serves to aid in that very act. So I'd like you to undertake a new journey, with me. To the flame of ruin, far above the clouds, upon the snowy mountaintops of the giants. Then I can set the Erdtree aflame. And guide you. Down the path to becoming Elden Lord."
At any grace in the Forbidden Lands: "There is something I'd like to say. My purpose was given to me by my mother. But now, I act of my own volition. I have set my heart upon the world that I would have. Regardless of my mother's designs. I won't allow anyone to speak ill of that. Not even you."
At the Forge of the Giants: "I have long observed the Lands Between. This world is in dire need of repair… and Death…indiscriminate… Are you prepared… To commit a cardinal sin?"
[Select "I'm ready"]
"Very well. Let my hand rest upon you, for but a moment. O Erdtree, you shall burn. Burn, for the sake of the new Lord."
[Melina burns the Erdtree to the ground, using herself as kindling]
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Trying to explain why DS3 Firekeeper is my favorite
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lettrespromises · 4 years ago
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╰┄───➤   LettresPromises informs you : you have one notification. ❜
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╰──➤ Kuroo Tetsurou and you share a correspondence, would you like to read it? ❜
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 :
❝Can you keep a secret? Secret Letters, a inter-high program which delivers anonymous love letters to designated people, has recently gained quite the popular status until becoming the number one reference for confessions. But is it really possible to remain objective when you see that the person you set your eyes on wishes to send a letter to someone who isn’t you?❞
➤ 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 : 𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍.
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And there you were, standing amongst the deafening silence and the agonizing solitude which had already infected the air. Stating that your body housed an uncontrollable amount of tension was an euphemism, truthfully, you were still wondering how you hadn’t succumbed to the pain created by your subconscious.
A bag of snack and diverse kinds of drinks were at your feet, and upon glancing at them, they seemed like they were the beholders of all the secrets in the world, all the hushed secrets you wished you once knew. They seemed worthy of holding your attention, or rather, you were unworthy of giving your attention to anything else but an animated object.
You hadn’t dared to touch your phone or even throw a glance at it ever since Kuroo replied to you, it was a short answer, you were convinced that it was quite acerbic, too. You feared that touching your phone would actually make your skin burn and redden due to the imaginary heat radiating off your phone, what caused the heat? Probably fear, you assumed.
You were so lost in the torments of your thoughts and pseudo hypothesis that you hadn’t heard the crashing footsteps belonging to the Scheming Captain, Kuroo Tetsurou, you only noticed his presence once the light emanating from the Sun died under his height, once the gleam in your orbs created by the rays of sunshine died at the same time.
Kuroo had already crossed his forelimbs to his chest whilst his facial structure gave you no clue whatsoever as to what he was thinking about, and for the first time in your life, you felt like his opponent, you felt like the prey of the Scheming Captain.
“I came earli-”
“You didn’t come this morning. Why?” He cut you off, his orbs bore into yours to anticipate whether or not you would choose to lie to his face.
“I didn’t wake up on time, and I totally forgot about morning practice. Kuroo, I’m so, so sorry, I swear it’s the last time this happens.” You stated in your defense, looking at him with pleading eyes through your lashes.
“It’s funny, you also said it was going to be the last time the time before, you know, where you also happened to be late. So, tell me, don’t you think it’s funny too?” Kuroo half-asked through a rhetorical question, acerbity dripping like a toxic nectar from his words as his facial expression remained unchanged.
“Kuroo, I promise you that this is the last time. It’s my fault, and I already apologized for it. Just-... What do you expect from me? I’ll make up to you and the team.” You pleaded in return as you played with your fingers to exude your stress (a detail he didn’t miss), the words leaving your lips like a plea trying to reach to his chained heart.
“I know you apologized and all, but I’m just wondering if you’re also going to apologize for feeding me this bullshit?” Kuroo continued, and you cursed yourself for even thinking that lying to the epitome of a human lie detector was worth the risk.
An angel passed. The movements of your fingers became more an more frenetic, as if they were trying to follow the frenzied rhythm of the fear coursing through your entire body. Another detail he didn’t miss. You kept on trying to exude the anguish consuming you, so you quit looking at him, thinking that laying your glance elsewhere could ease your nerves if Kuroo’s face wasn’t in your vision field anymore. You opened your mouth and robotically closed it as soon you noticed no sound was coming out of it, and your cheeks adopted a shameful rosy tone under the embarrassment of not being able to express yourself properly. Kuroo never missed each detail about you, truthfully, he made a mental note and mental associations of your gestures and linked them to your emotions.
You were looking elsewhere, your fingers were becoming martyrs, you couldn’t find anything to say— he concluded without any difficulty that you were tortured by your very own emotions. He couldn’t help but frown at the sight of your trembling form before his eyes, not because you couldn’t reply to him, but rather because he knew it was his fault. He knew that the toxins dripping down his words had poisoned you.
“It’s okay, Y/N, you don’t have to—” “The reason why I’ve been acting weird these past couple of days was because I was scared of losing you.” You cut him off this time, such acerbic poetry, “Ever since we talked about this Secret Letters thing, I felt like you were disappointed in me and even stopped trusting me” You continued, wiping away the pearls of salt gathering at the corner of your eyes,  “I know I shouldn’t have lied, I know I messed up so bad but I couldn’t find myself to sleep at night when all I could think about was whether or not you had decided to give up on me because you didn’t trust me anymore.” You eventually concluded, an unwanted sob punctuated the end of your sentence. Kuroo felt trapped at the bottom of a pit without any way to crawl back to the surface and admire the light radiating off your angelic self, and surely, he told himself he deserved to stay at the bottom of this pit. A sentiment of guilt was eating him alive and settled in his stomach where a huge knot had already been taking form and grew wider and wider until knocking the air out of his lungs. It was his fault.
Reflex kicked, his arms encircled your trembling frame and he caged you against his chest whilst the frenetic rhythm of his heart against your eardrums testified of the awakening of his biggest fear— losing you. He held onto you as if you were bound to fade away at any given moment, as if his fear had the power to make you disappear. But your hearts beat in unison, and although you were both consumed by guilt and fear, you both needed each other.
“Y/N, will you look at me? Could you do that for me, please?” This time, the pleas came from him, but you obliged and laid your orbs on him, he couldn’t help but turn his lips into a faded smile at the sight of your face. “Just remember one thing, you will never, and I mean never, lose me. Whether you want it or not, I’ll always be in your life, I’ll always be there, yeah? I’m sorry, too, for everything. I shouldn’t have told you these horrible things and even less tell you what you should do and not do. You don’t have to accept my apolog-” “You’re forgiven, Kuroo.” You replied in a whisper, a sentence which sounded so weak in comparison to its importance. You let out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding whilst Kuroo’s thumbs brushed away the last remaining tears cascading down your face, you were going to be okay. You stayed in each other’s embrace for a short while, and gave in to your hearts’ desires... Until Yamamoto came around, his eyes widened at the sight before him— how could Kuroo Tetsurou have the audacity, the nerve, the insolence to hold his precious manager in his arms? His mouth was set agape in anticipation for his future yelling session but Kuroo had already caught that and set you free from his embrace.
“I’ll go calm Yamamoto down for a few seconds, oh, and don’t worry about the bags, I’ll cary them inside. You can go change before practice starts, yeah?” He offered a smile as soon as the last words died on in his lips, a smile you reciprocated as a silent form of agreement. And as Kuroo left you to apply the dear rules of performative language and soothe the nerves of Yamamoto, you pulled out your phone from your back pocket and finally replied to a certain text now that you had no reason to back down from doing so.
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➤𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 : @amoroushero, @washione, @volexis, @lelebells, @boosyboo9206, @mkkhaikyuu, @bokutosuwus, @cleopatera, @kukkeii
➤𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑.
bonus :
wanna know what song kuroo was listening to? check it out here and listen well to the lyrics, they might have a correlation with this chapter and the chapters to come.
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lady-divine-writes · 5 years ago
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Acceptance (Rated PG13)
Summary:
While waiting for his husband to finish up a job at a local library, Crowley runs into a little girl with a problem he can relate to. (2474 words)
Notes:
I'm a little soft for Crowley interacting with kids. I do not apologize. XD
(AO3)
“Uggggggggh!” Crowley groans, long and obnoxious, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Why did you have to drag me to a library, of all places?”
Aziraphale side-eyes his husband, gasping in offense. “I didn’t! You stopped me as I left and begged me to bring you!”
“But if I’d known you were going to the library …!”
“Those were the first words out of my mouth! I literally said, and I quote - I’m headed to Tooting Library. Be back in an hour!”
“Oh, yeah. Right. That’s where the hiccup came from.”
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t get past the name.” Crowley chuckles. “Tooting.”
“Oh for Heaven’s sake.” Aziraphale reaches for the door handle but Crowley gets to it first, opening the door for his husband the way he has taken to lately – one of many small habits he developed the moment they said I do.
“Anyway, not my fault,” Crowley declares, following him inside.
“What!?”
“And I’m glad we’ve agreed there was a misunderstanding. But now that we’re here, what am I supposed to do?”
“Well, call me an old silly, but this is a library. A place of higher learning.” Aziraphale leads Crowley through the bookcases to the children’s section, where he’s been commissioned to help sort through the older books in their collection to see if they’re worth anything. “You could read.”
Crowley snorts in objection. “Pass.”
Aziraphale scans the room, looking past the books, books, and more books, searching for anything that might occupy his disruptive demon for a spell. “There’s a computer in the corner.”
“Meh. I have an iPhone.”
“There’s a mini theater. It looks like they’re playing The Adventures of Paddington Bear. That sounds like it might be up your alley.”
“And why’s that? Because he’s cute and cuddly?”
“Because I find him as hard to swallow as a bag of wet chips.”
“Rude.”
Aziraphale sighs. “There are coloring pages and crayons on that table over there.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“You’re the one who used to fraternize with Renaissance painters. All those nudes of Lucifer you inspired. Maybe you could try a hand at being a part of the artistic process with your clothes on for a change.”
Crowley chooses to neither confirm nor deny, overlooking his angel’s spiteful tone in favor of examining the little round table and equally tiny chairs, the assortment of black and white pictures available to color and two brand new boxes of 64 crayons. After a moment of scrutiny, and knowing that his options are limited, Crowley shrugs. “Yeah. All right.”
“Good. Now please remember there will be children about.”
Crowley spins the largest of the small chairs around and straddles it. “Yeah? And?”
“Keep the gore to a minimum.”
“You say that as if children don’t love gore.”
“They don’t!”
“They do! In fact, most kids under the age of twelve can imagine up stuff way scarier than I could ever come up with, I’ll tell you that.”
Aziraphale scoffs. “How do you figure? Cite your source.”
“You obviously didn’t spend the kind of time with Warlock that I did, angel,” Crowley mutters, grabbing a red crayon from the box and starting in on a picture of King William III, remastering it to depict how the monarch looked on his death bed, wasting away from pneumonia after suffering from a broken collarbone, a consequence of falling off his horse.
Aziraphale considers Crowley’s explanation, his eyes bouncing back and forth as he tosses it about in his head. “Fair point. Now sit tight, don’t wander off, and play nice with the other children. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Toodles,” Crowley says, thinking, ‘But there are no other children.’ He grins and grabs another picture, this one of Queen Anne, and eagerly begins another vulgar rendition.
***
Aziraphale’s promised hour passes and Crowley has blown through all the coloring pages. He looks at his stack of dead monarchs and sighs. It was rather inconsiderate of him to color them all, he realizes, but he’s so damned bored. He snaps his fingers, returning the pages to their previous pristine and uncolored conditions when a squeaky voice says, “I like your glasses.”
Crowley looks up and sees a girl sitting across from him. How she managed to sneak up on him in this big, open room, with no one else in it but himself (being ten a.m. on a Tuesday morning when most kids are in school) he has no idea, but nonetheless, there she is, smiling at him, wearing a bright pink frock and a pair of dark sunglasses with cat eye frames.
“I like yours, too,” he says.
“Thanks.” She pinches her lips together, flustered by the compliment. “May I ask you a question?”
“Yes, you may, but only because you’re being so polite.”
“Are you blind?”
Crowley shakes his head. “Nah. I just don’t like people looking at my eyes. It makes them uncomfortable.”
“Same.”
Crowley raises a quizzical brow. “Really?”
“Yeah.” She reaches up and adjusts her frames, pushing them unnecessarily up her nose. “I have this thing. It’s called heterochromia iridis.”
“Wow. Those are some big words for such a little girl.”
“It just means that my eyes have different colors. I’m starting school soon, and my mum thinks it’ll freak the kids out. But I think it’s cool.”
“I’m sure it is. May I see?”
“Um …” Crowley can’t see her eyes. Her lenses are as dark as his. But he can see her eyebrows moving up and down as she deliberates between yes and no. But she shrugs to herself and says, “Okay,” taking off her glasses with her eyes closed. When she opens them, Crowley can see why some mortals might be bothered.
Not because her eyes are grotesque. Actually, the combination of brown, hazel, and blue that her right eye contains in defined segments like a pie chart, her left eye blue-green and much darker than her right, is quite mesmerizing.
But because mortals can be stupid when confronted with something different than themselves.
But because mortals are easily frightened by the slightest things.
“I like them,” Crowley says, giving her a smile.
“Do you really?”
“I do.”
“Thanks.”
“It’s a shame you have to hide those eyes. I think they’re incredible.”
“Me, too.” She sits up straighter, her confidence growing. “I think they’re special. And I like being special, but it gets lonely.”
“Why’s that?”
She looks down at her glasses, folding them carefully and setting them in front of her. “I’ve never seen someone else like me. Not in real life. Just in pictures they show at the doctor’s office. What I have is rare, but I know other people have it. It gets easy to forget sometimes. I wish I could see one other person with eyes like mine. Not even like mine, just … different.”
“I see,” Crowley says, chewing his lower lip. He sits up in his chair and takes a quick glance around. Still nobody else there, not as far as he can see anyway. He leans forward, nearly touching her forehead with his own across this thimble of a table. “I might be able to help you with that.”
The girl peeks up at him, catches her reflection in his lenses, and smiles. “Really?”
“A-ha. If I show you something, promise not to freak out?”
She giggles at the reference. “I promise.”
“And don’t. tell. anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“Cross your heart?”
“And hope to die!”
‘Don’t hope that,’ Crowley thinks, taking off his glasses the same way she did, with his eyes closed. When he opens his eyes and fixes them on her, her jaw drops, but her stunned expression gets immediately replaced by the widest smile he’s ever seen on a child.
On anyone, really.
Except his Aziraphale.
“No way those are your real eyes!” she says, grinning with glee. “Those have to be contact lenses!”
“Nope. They’re real. They’re a might bit rarer than yours, but they’re real.”
“I’ll bet!” she says. Suddenly, her whole face lights up. “Wait! I know this!” The girl reaches into her pocket and pulls out a phone. She swipes the screen, goes to Google, and types. When she finds what she’s looking for, she turns the screen to Crowley. “You have this, don’t you?”
Crowley peers at the screen, at the picture she looked up of a pupil deformity called ‘coloboma’. She’s right. For a mortal deformity, it does look kind of like his eyes. He doesn’t think he could get away with not wearing his glasses and claiming this condition. The otherworldly aura of his eyes is unmistakable to most mortals.
Curious that this little girl doesn’t seem to catch it.
“Close enough,” he says. “You sure do know a lot about this stuff.”
The girl sighs deeply like a sage, old witch, and stows her phone in her pocket. “I’ve been dealing with eye doctors for a while now. It’s become an occupational hazard.”
“I can see that.”
“So you and I ... we’re the same, aren’t we?”
“In a manner of speaking.” Crowley smiles, but it’s sadder than the rest. ‘No,’ he thinks. ‘If all goes well, in 80 years, Heaven will have you.’
“Lizzie? Dearest? Where are you?”
“That’s my mum,” Lizzie whispers to Crowley as if it’s a huge secret. “I’m here, Mum!” she calls.
“Come along! We have to go!”
“Coming! It was nice to meet you, mister,” she says, offering Crowley her hand. Crowley doesn’t hesitate to shake it.
“Nice to me you, too. Lizzie.”
Crowley watches Lizzie double check her pockets for her phone, then collect her glasses. She considers them a second but doesn’t put them back on. Instead, she slides them in her pocket, then skips away toward the front door. Crowley doesn’t know if she’s going to put them on outside, or if her mum will make her. But he’d rather believe that she doesn’t, and that she won’t from this day forward.
All because she met a demon at a coloring table in a library called Tooting.
“It seems you made a friend,” Aziraphale says, miracling up an adult-sized chair and sitting down in it.
“I guess so.” Crowley starts fussing with the coloring pages, stacking them in order by dates of reign and setting them neatly to one side. He reaches for his glasses resting on the table, but Aziraphale catches his hand before he can slip them on.
“Is something bothering you, dearest?” he asks, tilting his head to catch his husband’s eyes. “You seem a little upset.”
“That depends ... how much of that did you hear?”
“All of it. I came out of the office right as Lizzie sat down.”
“And you didn’t think to rescue her from me?”
“Ah, you see, that’s self-pity talking. Children are the last people on this planet who need rescuing from you, my dear. Besides, I wanted to see what the two of you would do.”
Crowley shakes his head. He looks from Aziraphale’s eyes down to his glasses, the blacker than black lenses he orders special absorbing the mid-morning sun and reflecting it back as a cast of false midnight. “I could have snapped my fingers and fixed it for her. That would have been a good thing, wouldn’t it? A blessing? No possibility of kids making fun of her, no more helicopter parents forcing her to wear those glasses. But it just … it didn’t feel right.”
“It wouldn’t have been,” Aziraphale says. “Not every problem in the world requires a magical fix. In fact, not every problem is a problem.”
“Now, you see, that’s just ridiculous!” Crowley snaps.
“Why is that?”
“Because a problem is a problem. By its very nature, but its very name. That’s why we call them problems. And what she has is a problem.”
“She did have a problem, but it wasn’t her eyes.”
“What was it then?” Crowley grouses, growing tired of Aziraphale trying to help him find the answer instead of outright telling him what it is. Crowley recognizes that that’s Aziraphale’s job in a nutshell - to inspire humans to solve their problems.
But Crowley’s not human. He needs a bit more help finding the answers.
“She’s lonely. Or she was. She wanted to find someone like her, to feel less alone in the world. And she did. She found you. And you found her, I’d say, whether you knew you needed to or not. It’s a power that humans have that angels – and demons, I imagine – find difficult to comprehend. We’re so used to snapping our fingers and changing things that the steps in between are lost on us.”
“And that power is …?”
“Making a connection. Sometimes the solution to a problem isn’t in the fixing. It’s in finding someone who understands. As immortal beings on this planet, weaving our way in and out of people’s lives, it’s something we tend to overlook. Something we tend to avoid, really.” Aziraphale puts a palm to Crowley’s cheek and turns his demon to face him. “I want you to know how proud I am of you.”
Crowley starts to roll his eyes but stops. He doesn’t want to blow this off. He wants his husband to be proud of him. Aziraphale is an Angel of God who chose to risk everything and marry a demon. He should endeavor to make Aziraphale proud every single day.
“You are?”
“I am. I believe you were being tested. And you passed with flying colors.”
“Ugh,” Crowley groans, grabbing his glasses and putting them on before he does something truly asinine – like become teary eyed. “I guess if you’re going to be tested, a library’s as good a place as any for it. Higher learning and all that.”
“True.” Aziraphale makes to stand but Crowley grabs him by the elbow, pulls him gently back to his seat.
“Have I ever told you that you’re very good at your job?”
Aziraphale chuckles. “Owning a bookshop?”
“Inspiring humanity. To be honest, it’s not something I ever considered. It isn’t something … I was ever charged to do. But angels are angels, right? They do good deeds and get in our way. When something would come up and you took a step back, said you couldn’t interfere with the Divine Plan, I didn’t understand. But I think I’m beginning to.”
Aziraphale smiles. He leans in and gives his demon a kiss. “It’s nice that somebody does. And I’m glad that someone is you. Come along, dear.” He stands, grabs his husband’s arm and helps him out of his tiny chair. “I think you’ve had enough library for today.”
“Aw, really?” Crowley shakes out his long legs, getting them accustomed to standing upright again. “I was hoping we could pop into the mini theater and, you know, not watch the movie.”
Aziraphale laughs. “And you’re back.”
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annakie · 5 years ago
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An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Two
Aliens!  Exposition!  Guns!  Explosions!  Kickass Ladies!  Betrayal!  So much death!
Um, this got long. Sorry not sorry.
List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
The first thing Mass Effect does after coming out of the introduction is assure us that yes, we have aliens 
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and we have hot guys (and hot aliens, if you’re into that sort of thing.)
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They should have made an advertisement pointing out these things just for me so I would have paid release price for this game.  Ah well, I’ve bought it on 360, Steam and Origin now.  They have my money.
We’re going to make it most of the way through Eden Prime in this post.
One thing Mass Effect does a lot of in the beginning here is exposition.  There’s a lot to learn about the state of the galaxy in 2148, and there are people there to make sure you learn about it.  Jeff and Kaidan only do a little bit of exposition, you learn about Nihilus, a tiny bit about Spectres, and that Captain Anderson is badass.  I wish this scene actually lasted longer -- this is the only time we see Kaidan away from his Orange Corner (or that other orange wall) on the ship for awhile.  I guess there’s the conference room, but still.  If they ever do a remaster, please Bioware, let the companions move around the ship like in ME3 and give our boy better lighting.
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I love the flow of the Normandy SR1.  It feels the easiest to get around in since it’s so much smaller... except when you have to get on the elevator.  I also love the dark theme.  The ME2 SR2 always feels so... blinding.  The only thing I miss from the SR2 really is my decked out Captain’s quarters.  I mean does anyone even ever go into the ME1 quarters except to get the one codex entry until it’s sexytime?
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I do like ME1′s use of ambient conversations, you get to learn a little about Pressley and Jenkins before talking to them.  Those conversations, though, are just such exposition dumps.  I think they do it fairly well, but there’s so much to remember.  Both Jenkins (with Chakwas) and Pressley really harp on what and who Spectres are, pretty sure even before you talk to Nihilus you have an inkling you’re gonna eventually be one.  
I honestly wish we had more actual interaction with Pressley than what we get here, he has very little to say after this point.  Another hope for a remaster.
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This kid Jenkins, he’s got a good career ahead of him if we can tame his hot-headedness.  That’ll be his role in the game, I’m sure, the kid you mentor and grow into a reflection of you.  Good to know he’s from the planet we’re heading to, I’m sure he’ll be a valuable source of information there.
Having played a lot of World of Warcraft, and I mean a LOT, from the alpha, then release, for the next two or three years, the fact that his name was Jenkins was actually a bit of a hint for me even then.  But more in the “Wouldn’t it be funny if...?” and then he did.  Nice. 
I’m really glad Chakwas gets fleshed out a little more in just the one more conversation after this one and in future games.  Because there’s not much to say about her here.
Whew!  Exposition over, right?  We’ve learned about Spectres, the First Contact War, about Eden Prime, that we’re in the Alliance, that there’s Turians and a council that governs things and... we’re good, right?
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Wait, didn’t Anderson say he was already with Nihilus in the conference room?  Where’d he go?  What a bro, to step out and let Nihilus make a big turn-around moment of introduction to us.  Okay, more loredump.  Cool.  Really getting the concept of Spectres now, for sure, especially from this guy, who is one!
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Finally, Anderson.  Just in time to tell us about Spectres, and Eden Prime, and now it’s time to learn about the Protheans.  Whaaaaat?  You want ME to maybe be a Spectre?  I’m shocked! 
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Oh sorry, Annakie just flew through time from ME3 to stare into the camera incredulously.
I’m sure that this will be a decision that will be deeply impactful through the entirety of the rest of the series.
But here we learn about Protheans, and they lost me a bit on that one when we first played the game.  Who the fuck cares about what happened 20,000 years ago?  THIS IS THE FUTURE!!!  We’re in SPACE!
Well, we wouldn’t get away from the Protheans so easily.
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Oh what the FUCK is that thing?  You’ve hooked me right back in.  Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up?  LET’S GO.
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You guys... ALOV is so good, and so pretty.  And these screenshots look shittier on tumblr!!  Look how clear these movies are now.  And these are just 720p!   They’re working to upscale them to 4k!  Again I say, all hail the modders.
Still, that giant red spot doesn’t look so good for the people living there...  
I’m sure it’s fine.
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We’re all suited up, but sadly the super cool alien isn’t coming with us?  Didn’t he say he was here to follow and observe us?  Well, he knows what he’s doing.
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Anyone else already willing to die for Anderson fifteen minutes into this game?
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The sky is supposed to be that color red, right? Right Jenkins?
As cool as this level design is, also something that could use improving.  There’s like... no housing here?  Just a bunch of tall towers on the ground all really realy far apart from each other?  You’re on a new planet and everyone lives inside a giant tower?  I mean, good for preventing Urban Spawl I guess.  I’d love to see a more populated Eden Prime.  Even in ME3 we just saw a small dig site and more towers in the distance.  
Anyway, better level up.  Jenkins is young and needs some training if he’s gonna survive this mission!
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Here we go, show us what you’ve got!
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Shit.
My first time through, I truly thought I’d fucked up and probably reloaded this fight two or three times before accepting he was just... supposed to die.  And then I remembered his name was Jenkins, knew it was intentional, and laughed.  
Honestly, it’s a great fakeout with making us feel like Jenkins is important, and then having him lose the battle right away.  ME1 is pretty brutal that way. It’s a good way to signal that this game is probably going to rip your heart out, so get used to it.  
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Shepard and Kaidan have a moment, and I like this because it’s really the first time I think you can really start showing who your Shepard is, with how you react to Jenkins’ death.  Either way, I like it that she tells Kaidan that we need to focus.  I also love that, though we don’t get to see a moment for Jenkins from here on out in ME1, that they finally gave his memory a moment in ME3.
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I love Flycam.
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What. An. Entrance. For. Ashley. Williams.  
Bioware, give us Ashley and Kaidan living in a Mass Effect Remaster, please.  I will pay $100 for this DLC.  (I know, I KNOW.)  I have only played through with Ashley living all the way through once.  I’m sorry Ash, I love you.  I just... LOVE Kaidan.
But hey that’s HOURS away.   For now, she’s with us, and she’s amazing.
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Sorry, I just caught several great images from Ashley’s intro and thought you needed to see them.  It’s gonna be a miracle if tumblr lets this thing post.
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This is fine.
Uh, I’m not the only one who still sometimes dies on Eden Prime because I can never remember how the controls work until like, the end of the planet, right?  “CRAP,  WHICH BUTTON IS MEDIGEL?”  “WHY ISN’T THE SQUAD RESPONDING TO GOING WHERE I TELL THEM WITH Q and E?”  “Shit shit shit gotta reload OH FUCK JUST THREW A GRENADE SIX INCHES AWAY.  WHY IS THAT MAPPED TO R?”
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Grotesque and yet...  great visuals.  This is when you realize these Geth aren’t playing around.  This is Bad Bad.
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Iiiiif you also used to always punch out Miguel and then like awhile later realized how shitty that was and now know that the “Geinuis is the other side of the coin of Madness” speech here is also really shitty... raise your hand.  Especially since Miguel is, you know, right.   Anyway, do better on a remaster, Bioware?
The one good thing here was the “Thank the Maker” at the very beginning of the encounter.  I want Shepard to visit Thedas.  Give us this DLC, Bioware!!
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Oh Nihilus, you were too pretty, and trusting, for this world.  
Bioware, again, in the remaster... please go with your original plan and not make Saren all Gethed out this early.  I wish that could be modded away.  It’s so distracting to have him be OBVIOUSLY HALF MACHINE and everyone being like “Saren?  Working with the Geth?  PREPOSTEROUS!!”
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Got some AMAZING screenshots of Sovereign taking off thanks to Flycam.
Also, this is just such an OH SHIT moment.  Look at that thing! It’s terrifying!  Also it’s easy to miss if you’re looking the wrong way, this maybe shoulda been in a cutscene. But even so, when you see it, it fills you with SUCH DREAD.  They do such a great job of amping up the tension and drama and mystery bit by bit on Eden Prime.  Giving you bits of the greater story and also feeding you pieces that will eventually come together, but not for awhile.  
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I followed Soverign as long as I could before he disappeared.  Got this far away from land.  The actual spaces in the game are huge, but we’ll get to more of that later.
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Congrats!   You all survived!  For uh... about two and a half more years?
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Can’t believe we can’t loot the Spectre’s body.  
Also... the luckiest dock worker in the world.  I can never yell at him for sleeping on the job.  It’d be hilarious if he showed up alive on Horizon in ME2, and like Haven in ME3.
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This is the guy that usually kills me.
OK, this is ridiculously long already.  We’ll finish up Eden Prime and get to the Citadel next time.
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goron-king-darunia · 5 years ago
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Annon-Guy: What would you spruce up in the DotNW Remake/Remaster? I can imagine you would tone down Marta's early game behavior (unless you would keep it to an extent) and add some additional scenes (like Emil and Marta having some alone time). Maybe skits like in Berseria and Zestiria.
Well, as I said before, character models with more polygons and better animations. I wouldn’t necessarily change Marta’s behavior early on so much as I would SHOW HER ACTUALLY DOING BETTER WHEN SHE SAYS SHE’S GOING TO TRY TO TREAT EMIL BETTER. Definitely additional scenes an skits, perhaps things added in from the supplementary material. I’d put more effort into changing Marta’s late-game behavior if anything. Being less forceful with Emil (change the battle victory dialogues to reflect better synergy instead of her still being rambunctious, etc.) show Emil being more comfortable with her and have them smiling around each other more. Something I’d love to see that’s a game mechanic I’ve seen in Lost in Blue, but maybe when you travel through town, instead of just having Emil or Marta as your “character” walking around. You can have them on screen TOGETHER when they’re not split up with whoever your main is in the lead, and as they start bonding more? HAVE THEM HOLD HANDS. And then as they keep bonding, instead of Emil leading Marta by the hand or Marta leading Emil, they START WALKING SIDE BY SIDE. And maybe by the end, they walk arm in arm, next to each other, with their steps in synch. It’s a small thing. Such a small thing. But it says a lot about their comfort level. I’d also twist some scenes to better reflect their trust in one another. The bridge scene would have Emil go for the kiss and then Marta completing it, rather than Marta cutting off Emil’s “I love you” with a kiss, Emil would hesitate with saying it, and instead SHOW it by leaning in for the kiss. Marta would show more affection around Ratatoskmode Emil and Ratatosk (ever notice she basically never hugs or kisses Ratatosk? Only the Emil persona gets any love and if she really meant she would accept Emil/Ratatosk as who they were, what personality is dominant wouldn’t matter.More scenes of Marta catching herself making mistakes and fixing them. Less of Marta like “Oh, do I have to?” when Emil asks her to let go of his hand and more “Sure!” and happily letting go. (Being comfortable giving your partner physical space is so important.) More of Emil INITIATING hand-holding. “M-Marta? It’s pretty dangerous in here. Would you like to h-hold my hand?”Also, kind of selfish of me and would probably take a long time on the developer’s part to program this, but I would love a DotNW version where you can CHOOSE if you’d rather travel mostly with Richter or mostly with Marta and could romance either of them. Like, everything else would be the same except more romantic moments with whomever you choose to be with and some added stuff where Richter tries to convince Emil not to rely on Ratatosk’s strength before realizing Emil is Ratatosk and then being reluctant to kill him but deciding he has to do it anyway. Again, this is just selfish wish-fulfillment, but in Symphonia, you got to choose who Lloyd’s “Most important person was” and it would be nice if we got to do that with DotNW also.Also selfish of me but just... more Richter. I need him. XDAnimated cutscenes could be cool too, but what they have already is fine and I understand animation is more labor-intensive than just making cinematics with assets that are already part of the game.Also, the most selfish request of all... Bonus content in New Game+ with a dating sim for Emil (or maybe any of the Symphonia cast. Dating anyone they want. Like a visual novel type deal. And Pokemon Amie but for Monsters. Or at least more options in the Monster Manual to really inspect details of the monsters.
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claraknight · 5 years ago
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Oxide... :P
Character breakdown time! (Accepting!)
Alright, this is starting well!
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How I feel about this character: A long-time fan favourite! Still in my top 3 favourite villains, you can’t imagine my joy when the CTR remaster got announced! Even if I admit he was one of the characters I thought, back then, who would have the least chance to get a HD remaster look... Glad I was wrong!!And, you know, he’s kinda my villain type: quirky, salty, short tempered but a bit comical at the same time- the type of villain who manages to be threatening and a bit silly at the same time- Yes, that’s the tea!
All the people I ship romantically with this character: No one, really. I headcanon him to be actually aro/Ace. He just... doesn’t care too much about relationships, and even less with beings he considers as terra-vermins, right-
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Once again, I can’t... really picture any OTP, even if not-romantic. I suppose Tropy and Oxide could be racer rivals, but that’s it... I’m pretty sure there are fans who ship him with other characters, or their OCs, but that’s perfectly fine and I’ll support it no matter what. I just... hardly can picture a ship myself. Beats me! :o
My unpopular opinion about this character: I’ll repeat it to the earth and back, I still get a bit sick with the credit description they give him- That, with his recent losing quote “Unicycle sounds fun!” felt awful the first time I heard it- I know, I know, he transformed planets into parking lots, he roasted Mars, I absolutely know he definitely deserves it- But ouch, it still gets me!
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Actually for this one I can’t think of anything else... Oh wait, maybe knowing a bit more about his home planet? Some Gasmoxian lore? Now that would be really neat! If not in-game, maybe in comic form like the one which got published a month ago? That would be niiiice... Because putting this in the side, I’m especially happy with the fact I could, somehow, get rather close to his quirky personality. Back then that would have been something I’d like to see canon, but now that you get to have Oxide in a bathing suit, or that same Gasmoxian looking to his opponents from his...bathroom? ...I think it pretty sums up the silliness I was picturing of him, despite his dangerous and evil nature. And I love it!
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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago
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Survey #206
“have you ever wished for death and prayed all night for your last breath?”
Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. When you’re out with friends, do they ever encourage you to spend money you should be saving? 1.) I don't hang out w/ anyone now, 2.) but even when I did, they all knew I didn't make money. Is there anything you’re trying to save up money for? What? Perpetually tattoos, I want a PS4 super badly to play a novel of games I've been dying to play (SotC and Spyro trilogy remaster, I'm @ing you so hard), I need a car soon as I plan to at least try and get my license in the near future, I'd love to always have enough to immediately go to Sara's in case of an emergency, a trip to South Africa... but those are gonna take a good while to complete. I have my priorities straight for when I get a job. Have you ever watched a movie you didn’t really want to see just because a friend asked you to? Yeah. Did you end up liking the movie, anyway? There's been many cases of the above situation, so I'm sure in some instances I have. Heard any great songs for the first time lately? What songs? Hmmm, quite a number. "Radio" by Rammstein is great, and I love "bury a friend" and "bad guy" by Billie Eilish. What is your favorite urban legend? m o t h m a n and the joysey devil. Probably top two. GAH I love so many though????????????? Like Skinwalkers?????????????? And WENDIGOS????????? Have you seen all the cool shit?????????????? Do you remember the last nightmare you had? What was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever hopped on any bandwagons? HAHA. Freshman year, high school... I "liked" screamo or alternative-type bands I'd barely ever listened to or even enjoyed to fit in with the emos aldkjfalkwejr. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? Definitely not a complete one, but I can get pretty annoyed if in WoW we're in a heroic dungeon and people don't know the mechanics you should have already learned + read new ones that're right there in the goddamn journal laksdjfaoweir and then some people just totally ignore your advice and alskdjfwleiruwqoeif x2. Then again I've been that confused asshole in a couple raiding situations BUT LOOK they're harder and I had too much to catch up on okay. Still no excuse by WHATEVER. Have elitists on a fansite ever intimidated or talked down to you? I don't believe so. Is there anything you swear you will never do again? A few things with certainty. How late do you usually stay awake? I can literally go to bed as early as 7 to as late as 11 or rarely later. I do NOT have a schedule. Started months ago, and at first it frustrated and stressed me out quite a bit, but by now, I've just accepted it for me. Do you have pets? If so, how did you choose their names? Teddy: sister named him, but I'm sure it was the "cute as a teddy bear" type thing; Bentley: no clue; Roman: it sounded majestic, cats are majestic; Venus: pretty, and her coloration is similar to the planet; Kaiju: totally badass for an iguana that's gonna grow to be a big 'ole scaly boy; and Mitsu: I had a theme of giving my rats cutesy "M" names. Do you ever buy special treats for your pets? Occasionally. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? Did a middle school student write this? If you're pretty fond of something, there you go, you're a fan. Sure, some are more intense, but that doesn't make the more casual ones not "real." What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? Idk, I don't pay attention. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? Christ, without. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? HA. No. It is RARE I'll find a cute one, and that's always only online. Make pretty ones for plus-sized women a normal find, jfc. Idk why, but I am very picky with bras. Like good fucking luck seeing me without a shirt, so like,,,, why do I bother????? What length do you like your shorts to be? UM you will NOT see me in SHORTS. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? Perhaps Mom has when I was a kid? But I have no memory of this ever happening. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so. Have you ever modified a piece of clothing and hated how it turned out? ^ What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Ah jeez, what's the last time I even watched one. Idk. What was the last disappointing book you read? And I haven't read a book in even longer. Is there anything you’re really excited about? JOB. OPPORTUNITIES. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Vines, like shit dude. I can go on massive binges. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? I don't recall. What would you consider the greatest song ever recorded? Why? Yeesh, that's a big thing to decide. I recently discovered "A Reason to Fight" by Disturbed though, and it is. Incredible. Just read the lyrics to refresh my mind, and yeah, goosebumps. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? Never seen any. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory, probably. But man, there's too many to choose from. Last thing you purchased just for fun? *shrugs* Do you even like behind-the-scenes stuff or does it ruin the magic for you? IF I'm real into the product, I love that stuff!! I've seen like every little BTS Silent Hill thing there is, probably, multiple hours' worth. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? They're small and lightweight. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They generally hold much more memory. What are some errands you need to run soon? I don't have "errands" yet. Have your parents ever tried to convince people there was something wrong with you, when their “diagnosis” wasn’t accurate? No. List 3 of your best memories, times you wish you could go back and repeat. In no order, just as they come to me: 1.) First hug with Sara when we met at the airport; 2.) THE LOOK ON SARA'S FACE when she saw me in her room on her birthday (probably fave memory of all time, actually); 3.) seeing meerkats for the first time at the zoo. Ohhhh or maybe the true realization I was happy without Jason. But idk, that was SUCH a gradual process where I didn't feel ecstasy in like one moment. What color was your high school graduation gown? Ew, it was this obnoxious red. The majority apparently voted for it, while I was on the navy team. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? Mom's pretty dead-set on me being a vet, but she doesn't try to push me into it or anything. I know she just wants happiness for me. I haven't got a clue about Dad. Have your dreams for your life changed? Of course. What are your dreams now? HAPPY, stable job that I thoroughly enjoy, well-off financially (I don't aim to be rich, just "safe," you could say), healthy marriage, own my own home, travel to a few places, did y'all think I was gonna forget "meet Mark???"... stuff like that. What was your dream as a child? It changed plenty of times, but my earliest goal was to be a paleontologist. Do you feel safe in your country? Sure, I guess. Safer than most places. If applicable, do you feel safe at your school? N/A Would you ever want to learn sign language? It'd be cool, sure, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing. How many meals do you eat a day? 2-3. Sometimes just one "real" meal. Do you own any succulents? No. What color are your walls? A hideous puke green. Why. What color were the walls in the bedroom you grew up in? I don't remember at all. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? "Love Falls" by HELLYEAH. What is your favorite style (or styles) of dance? Modern. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No. Have you ever sung a solo? No. Which insects are you afraid of? Most, really. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of an insect, when it’s so tiny? It depends on the insect, of course. Even if I do know what it is and it's "safe," I'll still typically freak if it surprises me. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Hmmm. Sara, I believe? What are you waiting for? Jesus FUCKING Christ on a bike a job. What do you usually feel like doing the most at home? Stuff on the laptop. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? I don't remember... For "puppy dog love," I believe maybe the 4th grade, but I may be wrong. I'd say my first *real* crush was on a guy named Sebastian in my freshman year of high school. Shit man, did a lot go down my freshman year. I'm just reminiscing and crushes jumped between like five dudes 'til Jason won. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? Some time in middle school, I think? Like that's when I had my first bisexuality crisis: 6th or 7th grade. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see the glitter inside? No, but FUCK I WANNA. What type of tree do you see the most of where you live? There's a pine tree outside my window. Oh, and there's a pine tree in my back yard. Oh, what's that across the road? Woods of pine trees. Where do all birds in NC live? In pine trees. What does our air smell like? Pine trees. Where is your favorite place you’ve lived? My previous home as far as location; house itself, where I am now. It's got its issues, but it's cozy and a perfect size for just two people. What states have you lived in? Just 'ole North Carolina. Take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay- Do you wish you were someone else? Sometimes. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? Literally just flowers. That's it. It. Everything else can suck a legion of dicks. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Girt, Jason (if he counts), Alon, Maria... I had a few "best" ones. ^Are they still your best friends now? Girt is my closest thing to a "best friend" if you don't include my girlfriend. Do you live near the mountains? No, they're on the opposite end of the state. ;___; Do you live near a beach? We're like, two-ish hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? Idk and idc, beaches aren't my thing. Do you collect seashells? Not seriously, but I'll keep a cool one if I find one. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? If I was not ashamed of looking like a 23-y/o pre-teen in love with Just Bieber, I'd have more Markiplier merch than you'd fucking believe. (One of my biggest regrets in life was not buying the tasteful nudes calendar; I will eternally smite myself for being too embarrassed to have to explain why I would have that hanging above my bed rip.) If you had to pick one year and describe it as the best year of your life that you want to relive again, which year would it be? 2017 was fuckin litty titty. Is your world view the same as your parents’? In some ways with Mom, and I do know Dad and I differ on a few things. Well, if I learned more about his more political beliefs, I feel I'd probably disagree with most. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? No. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I'm a massive peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the PLAGUE. Do you like to read? Not nearly as much as I used to. Like all I ever read nowadays are RP posts as I obviously have to reply to them, but if they're long, it is common I procrastinate on reading it... ;_; Do you sleep too much or not enough? Probably too much, especially when I go to bed early. Although, I do wake up throughout the night and sometimes officially pretty early. Then some days I have a 1-2 hour nap, so that just adds to it. Who is your best friend? Sara. <3 How did you two meet? YouTube. How did you meet your current bf/gf? ^ How far away is your closest family member? Well I live with my mom, but she's at work atm. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? BOY OH FUCKING BOY. My mom's the most bitter witch towards him, so even for family events, Dad usually only stops by to avoid creating a goddamn wreck, such as at birthday dinners. I think the last time they were in the same house was for my nephew's birthday half a year ago, I believe. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween!!! Now that I have a niece and nephew who grasp the concept of Santa, Christmas is also really special to me. I don't want kids, but watching those sweethearts get so excited over their presents is magical. For me personally, the holiday has grown more and more about celebrating family, especially as we continue to branch out/go our own ways. So I guess I like the idea of Halloween better and would enjoy it more if I actually had something to do, but as far as joy goes, Christmas. Do you like pumpkin pie? I hate anything and everything pumpkin-flavored. The last time you went to the doctor, what were you there for? It was the see my psychiatrist. Do you take any medication regularly? Yeah. Is there any particular view you have on insane people? I see "insane" versus "sane" as far more of a gradient shift instead of a direct split; there're levels. I actually do legitimately think I at some juncture in the aftermath of the breakup qualified as slightly insane, yet I wasn't dangerous or entirely out of touch with reality. So if you tell me someone's actually insane, I'm going to fear them being the explosive, entirely unpredictable and loopy kind, but I know the person may be calm and somewhat stable on the outside, too. You gotta consider the severity. Do you believe in any conspiracies? 9/11 was orchestrated by the government and you cannot change my mind. I'm not totally sold on this one and lean more towards "nah" (I think), but the "we live in a simulation by a future civilization" is not that far-fetched at all if you actually look into it. It's very interesting, whether or not you're sold on it. Hell, Neil deGrasse Tyson firmly believes in it. Out of your friends, who is the funniest? Girt makes me laugh at the snap of his fingers, it seems. Anything you need to get rid of? I'm sure somewhere... Do you have any wasted talents? Animal knowledge and compassion, probably... I know I could make a fantastic rehabilitator for animals, among a plethora of other animal-related preservation and protection actions I could actively engage in. Well, I'm going back to school for zoology, but even now, I want to do more. There is a wildlife rehab place I may be able to volunteer at soon, tho! Mom's talking to a guy at work about me helping there. DAMN, livin a dream. Do you let the little things get to you? The issue could be as small as a single cell and it could still bother me. How often do you cry? Maybe once in a week, possibly longer. I don't know if you mean like really cry or just tear up/lightly cry. The latter is pretty common, but the other, not so much. Even if I want to cry, my jaw just entirely locks the hell up and I physically can't get it out. Is there anything you’re trying to prevent? I mean besides the common sense things everyone takes action to avoid, hm. I feel like there's so much, yet nothing is coming to me? Well, actually, it's usually a daily struggle to prevent at least one OCD cycle. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrug* When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? It's been quite a while... At least over a year ago, when I began to get antsy with wanting a job and later going back to school. It just all started when I realized I was healed from the breakup and ready to move forward in life, but I wasn't. Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Multiple people. What colors has your hair been? Dirty blonde, brown, red, and purple. I've had red and purple highlights, and I naturally have blondish ones, too. I'm ready to dye it again, jfc. Most attempts are failures because my hair does NOT take color well whatsoever. It's only ever worked perfectly with the brand Splat, and my hair soaked in the dye for a LONG time before washing it out. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? We share interest in plenty of the same bands, Mom especially. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? MY LITTLE SISTER. Haven't seen the woman in three years, but I can promise you Jason's mom still has it to a legendary degree. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes? I haven't looked for shoes in so long that I don't even know the average price. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? Honey Nut Cheerios, normal Cheerios I think, and we have a little bit of the chocolate chunk Special K cereal left over. It's got to be stale by now (it's not even closed fully); I need to remember to toss it. What’s the last thing you spent over $10 on? Ummm I'm not sure. Over $30? I think my tongue piercing was $40? Maybe even lower? Or slightly higher?? I don't remember. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? I think so. The one time I was locked out of my house in the snow with Teddy and I waited like a fucking hour until I broke down, absolutely freezing (I was in my pajamas, dude), and walked down the road to try and get help (I needed to call my mom, obviously, and I didn't have my phone), I believe it was the third neighbor who answered. Turned out being a retired deputy who was super intimidating yet kind at the same time; he let Teddy and me stay in his house (mind you, Teddy is incontinent and didn't have his diaper on, which I warned him about) while Mom was on her way home. He gave me a jacket and some water, even when I said I was fine, but you could tell he wasn't totally sure about trusting this random, sobbing girl at his door because he asked me a thousand questions about my story and quizzed if I really did live in this area. Obviously a good cop, but after a day like that, I was just terrified of an old man who appeared a bit gruff. But thankfully Mom got there to save the day and I am forever grateful for that guy. WOW what a story for a simple question. Is there a bulletin board in your room? No. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? "Health freak" seems a bit extreme for both of them, but Mom is more concerned about health in general. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We just have tortilla chips, I think. I try to keep snacks out of the house to avoid temptation, and who eats plain tortilla chips. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Mom's. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Most would probably notice my Nightmare Before Christmas poster first, being as big as it is and on the wall opposite the entrance. Do you prefer the truth, even if it’s harsh? YES. I NEED to know this kinda stuff, even if the truth is really hard to hear. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I don't think so. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? I think I did when my very first band teacher did. EVERYONE loved him. Like, the entire school. Does your kitchen look like it was designed in a completely different decade? No? When’s the last time you wore heels? Great question. Probably not since my sister's wedding in '16. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? My grampa's on Mom's side. What’s the best date movie? Probably a rom com? Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? Zero. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I'll swear under my breath or seethe in frustration, but I never yell. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Whenever she starts dating a guy, she dips, and whenever/if ever we talk, she rambles absolutely endlessly about him. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't possibly care less about how your eyebrows look. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman and Bentley sure do. Bentley is a Professional Fly Moncher, specifically. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Uhhh good question. Probs the night before Sara got here for my b-day. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Hm, good question! I'd ask her, but I don't want her to ask me why I am lmao. What TV family reminds you of your own family? Probably none. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? No. I don't remember what I thought, but I know it wasn't that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No, I think? Well Dad gives my sisters and me way too much money for Christmas and always tells us to ask him if we need anything, but I pretty much never ask him for said things, so I don't know the extent he'd go. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk? Pretty much. Is the last person you spoke to in love? That's my mom, so I doubt that with all I know. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? I don't believe so. What was the last movie to make you cry? I think the last was Coco. Moana may have made me tear up, but I can't remember... Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? Not to my memory. What time do you usually go to sleep at sleepovers, if ever? I haven't been to a sleepover in God knows how long. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Alice Liddell. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Via YouTube, Jeffree and his boyfriend. Irl, I don't know. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not very much. Like I've had brief daydreams about it, sure, but it's not something that's on my mind a lot. Still got a long time before that happens. What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? My cat not knowing how to keep his mouth shut. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Well, it depends; stars if we're in a completely isolated area where you can see them crystal clear or the clouds are boring, but otherwise, clouds if their design and colors are cool. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers? No. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, no questions asked. When’s the last time you broke plans? Why? I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to see my VR coach that day. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes, my sister's. I was a bridesmaid. It was an absolutely awful experience because I was hot as fuck, it was triggering as HELL with me still grieving Jason, and I felt positively hideous in a dress when I was at such a horrible weight. I wish so dearly I could redo that day; I fell like I put a serious damper on my sister's big day. Would you feel safer with an alarm system or security cameras? Hm, depends on the scenario... I guess an alarm system? Like security cameras will show a murderer climbing through my window, but they're not gonna wake me up to save my ass. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? So long it smells nice, isn't watery, and doesn't only add oil to my hair, I don't care much. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit in front, in the back, or in the middle? Hm... idk. When I took the bus home with Jason, we always sat in the back, and that's really the only time I took a bus regularly. I think otherwise, I'd prefer the middle, closer to the front? I think I usually did that on occasions like band competitions and such. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, that's rare. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Meerkat Manor. Though I would hope they'd lessen down on the false story-telling. Stick to the true KMP events. When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? Sometimes. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? N/A Are you sensitive to caffeine? Definitely not. My system's too used to it, probably. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. I'm 23. :^) Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? German. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? SURPRISINGLY no, at least to my memory. Do you like Vitamin Water? Never tried, don't want to. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Dad and me on his birthday. Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Idk. Well, I think. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Sometime during Bobby's visit literally days ago. I already forgot who took it... and who else was in it lmao. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, two. A meerkat pair and then a far less extra pair that're closer to socks. I think they have cats on them? I got them for Christmas I think and haven't worn or seen them much. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? Not a fan of either, but Carrie Underwood is more tolerable and even has a couple songs I enjoy. Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I'll jump to a conclusion within .02 seconds of something negative happening. Or not even "negative" or something that's purely in my head. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? The house itself is fine, and my room is just right because I have my fan on. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's likely, really. There's lots of those here. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? No. We live many states away on both parents' sides. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? (Celebrities) It's been like two days and I'm over seeing the James Charles/Tati drama everywhere. You can't be interested in the YouTube community without being drowned in that shit right now somehow someway on any YT-coverage page and YouTube itself. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? I personally haven't. Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I very openly and severely judge you if fucking height means that much to you. Do you mind being the third wheel? Not really, no. I'd only feel uncomfortable if they were getting pretty intimate. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Um I didn't know that was actually a thing so no. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? Never been in that position. Have you ever dated two people at once? No. Have you ever been tested for STDs? No. Well wait, that time I gave blood I probably was just out of safety protocol. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? No. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? When I was in that "wait does this break the abstinence rule" phase, yeah. God was I technical. Have you ever had a condom break during sex? N/A Do your parents know if you’re having sex? Well considering I'm with a girl and she lives states away, that answer's obvious. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Chips. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? A dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? A painter, maybe? If I could play the electric guitar, though... idk. What social media sites do you visit the most? Facebook. What did you hair look like in high school? Long, thick as fuck, brown (or dyed black) with some sort of highlight, and it was split to the left with the hair swooped over my right eye. Basically "I want the emo swoop but my hair is too fucking thick to obey hairspray." :^) Which dollar store do you shop at? Depends on what's closest, usually. We rarely ever stop at one unless it's for candy to bring into the movie theater, seriously lol. I think usually Dollar General? Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? WE DON'T KNOW EITHER. Skeletons or scarecrows? s k e l l y b o y s Has anyone ever given you the silent treatment? Yep. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? I learned on that day I hate giving blowjobs. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No, thankfully. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you ‘shortie’ instead of girl? BOY I would fucking cackle. I hate that word. No. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? OH MY GOD I remember that!!! But no. What IS your most embarrassing moment? Too lazy to go through the novel of 'em to pick the worst. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? You assume I find myself either. Do you own any mini skirts? I don't own any skirts period. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? No. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? I'm sure she has before. Do you have a deep voice? For a girl, yeah. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? *shrugs* Exclusively for me, probably never. Do you do something new with your hair practically every day? No, it's the same everyday. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? Delivery guy. Has anyone ever licked your foot? Ew no. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ‘hard to get’? I'm not 15. Has a guy ever quoted a romantic Shakespeare line to you? No, and I'm glad, as I'd cringe into another realm. Is there a Sonic where you live? Yes, I LIVE- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. I look less high, at least. What did you eat for lunch today? A pb&j. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don't own a personal car. Mom has a a load of stuff in the back of hers, at least I think... That's super rare, but she's been so ungodly busy idk if she's had time to clean it out. I haven't paid attention so can't recall. What was the last thing you threw up? Idr. Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke and never have, so idk. What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch it, and I haven't seen many episodes at all if for whatever reason I was in a room and it was on. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you been to a strip club? No. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Hell if I remember. It had to either be my 16th birthday when Jason's family was all together watching the Super Bowl, or a hockey game with my dad. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nicole. Ever go to camp? No. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yeah. Do you have a tan? HA no. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids. Are you someone’s best friend? Yeah. Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, almost always. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer at the beach. Holy fuck the water was so perfect. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Like... just why. Do you ever get flu shots? No.
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