#i wish i wasn't autistic

[jarognieva]

Stupid me was thinking I've found perfect job for me but "suprise" - sensory issues! 🙃

[carrieway]

they should make a me that can get socialization outside the internet

[thathikikomorigirl]

why do I always get bullied everywhere I go

[eshithepetty]

So.

This is it, mobsters.... our final stand. When the poll starts on @autismswagsummit, go....... do your part.

[Short ID: a comic pertaining to the autism swag summit, featuring Mob and Tome. Mob reveals that he feels insecure about how seriously everyone's been taking this, and how he's not sure he likes all this attention on him for it, but Tome argues and encourages him, saying that his could help him get Tsubomi's attention, since she's autistic herself, and might appreciate Mob being more confident about that. In the end, Mob brightens up, and gets pumped to win the bracket, before it's revealed that Tsubomi actually hopes Papyrus wins. End short ID]

Extended ID under cut:

[ID: a comic pertaining to the autism swag summit, featuring Mob and Tome. It's done in pink and orange tones, except for the last panel, which is purple.

First page: Mob sits down at the table in the telepathy club room, sighing. Tome, who is playing a video game and eating fries, looks at him and asks: "? What's wrong, Mob?" Mob looks to the side, eyes downcast, and says: "It's nothing really... it's just- the autism contest thing. Everyone's taking it so seriously but- idk. It feels weird. Like Mezato-san's cult thing, kinda." Tome, meanwhile, slides him the fries, and he takes one, and continues, "I don't think I like all this attention on me. Not for this." and Tome looks at him, chin on hand, and asks: "But wasn't that like, one of your main goals? To be popular?"

Second page: at this, Mob startles, and in the next panel he shrinks in as he replies "um- yeah, but. To be honest, I only wanted that to-" and shrinks even further in the next, blushing, trailing off with "to..." Behind him, there is the tapping of footsteps as Tome, off screen, rounds the desk, and makes Mob jump with a loud SLAM, and yells "LISTEN, MOB!" Then, she is looking at him with a frown, gesturing with one hand, and continues: "You need to look at this from a different perspective. What if this is the contest that winning would aid you the most? After all, isn't Takane herself autistic?" Mob, eyes wide and blushing, loudly interrupts with "S-SHE IS??"

Third page: Mob asks, "How do you know??" Tome, her arms crossed, eyes closed and a smirk on her face, says "Look. I'm autistic. You're autistic. We're ALL autistic, I know my kin, alright?" Under her breath, (under the speech bubble) she also adds "Plus I kind of heard her say "Leave me alone, I'm autistic" once," before she interrupts herself, her arms spread wide and flapping, with "but that's beside the point!" She continues in the next panel, only one of her moving hands visible as Mob looks up at her, wide-eyed, "My point is, maybe this is your chance to show her what you're all about; that you know who you are; are secure in your identity, proud of it, even!"

Fourth page: Tome crosses her arms again, a confident smirk on her face as she looks down at Mob and asks, "So tell me. What are you gonna do?" Mob, hunched in, shyly responds, ".... I'm gonna win...?" Off screen, Tome replies: "Say it with more confidence!" And Mob does, back straightening and a blush creeping in: "I- I'm gonna win!" Tome yells "Louder!", and Mob stands up, leaning on the table, yelling in response "I'm gonna WIN!!" And Tome, a fist pumped in enthusiasm, yells back "YEAH!!"

Last panel: Tome's dialogue box is cut off, as we see Tsubomi, meanwhile, laying in her bed, sucking a lollipop and phone in hand, as she thinks: "I hope papyrus wins." End ID.]

[hellyeahsickaf]

Having grown up with pretty severe undiagnosed ADHD one of my core memories will always be the teacher in 6th grade that would go out of his way to humiliate students that weren't reading enough. Idk how common this was but we had AR points. Essentially a system where if you read a book you could take a quiz on it and get points if you passed, with each book being worth a different amount of points. A very short book might be 3 points, a book the size of Harry Potter might be worth 40-70. You get it

I was actually good at literacy, I had the highest literacy score in that class. But audiobooks weren't really much of a thing yet and sitting down to read a book was virtually impossible, it's something I still struggle with and thought I was stupid for. I knew how to read and was great at it, even liked the material, but physically sitting down and reading a book was close to impossible. There were kids with hundreds of AR points and I had idk, probably less than 25.

And every few weeks this asshole would have all of us line up from most points to least. He'd go through, first hyping up the front of the line saying how impressed he was. He'd tell the next few they were doing well, to keep it up. Further down tell them to pick up the pace, but god help you if you were within the last 6 or so (some of them had the same issue as me, VERY likely also something undiagnosed)

He'd spend most of this time on those last few students. Berating these 11 year olds individually and intentionally humiliating them, telling them how there are 7 year olds who read more than us. He'd say we had no future, at least nothing better than minimum wage at McDonald's. That or we'd be on the streets. He was the type to bully neurodivergent kids every chance he got and boy that was damaging.

Wasn't the first or last teacher of mine to bully and shame kids and other teachers knew he did this so they'd send them to our classroom. He'd sometimes take an entire hour (I'd counted) out of our class time just humiliating this kid or few kids sent in for things like not doing their work or causing disruptions. He'd sometimes put their sloppy unfinished work or something on the projector and make fun of it. If the kid started crying he'd tell them to suck it up or call them names. And he was actually really well liked by the students, just the ones he wasn't an abusive motherfucker to

[discordiansamba]

If your response to someone saying "I headcanon this character as being neurodivergent in a way that caused them significant struggles with school/their education" by saying "you can't make the neurodivergent character stupid, that's a negative stereotype" then I wish you a very merry fuck off forever.

[intermundia]

the thing that i don't understand about how most people's brains work is that, like, for me, making prolonged and repeated eye contact is an unbearably intense, invasive, and intimate experience. the sensation is like putting your hand on a hot stove lol idk like each time i make eye contact i'm immediately flooded with so much painfully detailed emotional information about the other person, i can't help but process it at the same time as i am trying to do something else. it takes conscious effort to not get overwhelmed with that much information, and during an interaction where you're supposed to be answering a question that takes recall and explanation, it's just super distracting and triggers so much anxiety. i get plenty of emotional information from reading people's body language and voice, i don't need direct access to their soul to have a conversation lmao. i know that's not at all how most people experience social interactions, and i just wonder what it's like to actually enjoy or seek out eye contact. how is it not distressing to people lmaoo i can't even imagine

[angelpuns]

the mental illness is feeling like I should quit my job because even though it's a part-time low stakes job it is also killing me :(

[thefrogdalorian]

Channeled my Not Currently Great mental state into a Din oneshot which I'll be posting shortly! It's a continuation of my Din x ND!Reader series and it was nice to return to that after a few months. It's very soft and hopefully it brings a little comfort to anyone who might need it rn :')

[phantomoftheshadowsidk]

BBC Ghosts 🤝 A Kind of Spark

I love both shows sooooo much and they both have such great diversity but especially really great autistic rep! They are just so meshable and I feel like the characters of both would like one another. Thank you @parttimesarah and @kitty-lulu-cat-princess for opening my eyes

[a-chilleus]

painfully aware of all the wasted time in cambridge and how what i might have wanted to do is just not ever gonna happen. idk if i'd have liked punting but i never went and now the friends who i'd have gone with are all too busy in exams and about to graduate. maybe i should have gone to the formals and just suffered through the sensory overload so that i could have taken photos with my friends at the end of the night and convinced myself afterwards i had fun. i've been to a couple of museums here, but only with my parents. i spent hours and hours in this stupid place hiding in toilets, self-destructing, not going to things because i was too scared, when i could - should - have been exploring the prettiest parts of cambridge with my friends. friends who were too fucking busy all the fucking time. friends whose social calendars were always already full of "drinks with [ensemble i'm not in] after the concert" or "dnd with [a group they formed before i met that friend]" - no one's excluding me on purpose, but what are you meant to do when you have friends you love but you missed out on all the things you wish you could have done with them and now it's too late? no one has time to do anything. i feel so so alone and i have for so long and it never seems to get any better

[vitasexualiiis]

my very sexy curse of liking the most radioactive ships in a fandom

[wanderingmind867]

I don't know why I feel the need to say this, but I'm sorry I haven't been making many posts lately. I don't know why I haven't been making many posts, but I feel apologetic anyways. I don't know if I even should feel this bad, but I just can't always help it. I just make myself feel bad over nothing. I really wish I knew why I can't think of things to post. I know it's no big deal, but I can't always help myself.

[mobgeo]

I feel so clueless on how jokes work. I know what makes people laugh, and I can repeat what makes them laugh so I can be funny, but I still don't understand the joke itself. I know how to make people laugh but I don't understand WHY it elicits laughter

[a-river-of-stars]

The autistic experience is sending off my CV to a potential employer and being annoyed that I have to ~sell myself~ while also feeling personally compelled to be ~truthful~ but not ~arrogant~ regarding my abilities while there are fuckers who outright lied their goddamn asses off in order to get into Congress and saw zero consequences for their actions

[johnsspacesuittight]

I recently got like, a kinda,,, life changing realisation and I felt like writing about it here. So, I finally got my autism diagnosis this year, and like I did already know it, but obviously directly having an expert agree with you and confirm it makes it much more real and like a completely tangible thing that I could actually fully take in, and like actually start to recognise that I am a disabled person, and that that is a thing I am allowed to acknowledge and take into consideration. Anway, so the point is, recently in class we talked about these two different mindsets people can have, and one is growth, which is like the ability to not give up and keep going through hard things, and the other is giving up and blaming other people etc. And I had this thought that I like, feel like I am on the side that gives up and has the victim mentality, because although I try hard all the time I feel like it almost never makes a difference and because my challenges are so "basic" it feels like I'm not actually accomplishing anything, but that actually I definitely have a growth mindset because I keep going even though the smallest things are hard and I keep doing things even though they are difficult. And I talked to my psychiatrist about this and about how I actually have like a lot of willpower for that. And then a couple days ago we were talking in the same class about power, and the distribution of ours on different things and I found it really difficult cause I felt I didn't have much, and as a joke, as I started talking about it to the group I was in, I said "I'm a weak person". But as I got home that day I realised that that is completely untrue, because I am a fucking disabled person who struggles with several if not all everyday tasks on some level and it doesn't make me weak that "basic" tasks and interactions are hard to me, they're not hard because I'm "weak" they're hard because I am autistic. And that made me realise that I am not remotely weak, in fact I am incredibly strong and I have so much willpower, because everyday life is a fight for me and I still do it, and my love for things and for people is so powerful that I keep going and I keep fighting, and my god my respect level for myself just went through the roof at this realisation. I went from seeing myself as weak for finding so many things that other people find easy so difficult, to realising I am the opposite of weak because I do so many of the same things they do despite finding them up to ten times as difficult, and that was a pretty fucking incredible thing to understand.