#i wish i was patient enough and had the talent for video editing

[hawkinslibrary]

forgot how much i love fanvids. i used to spend so so much time on youtube watching them and i'm kinda falling back into that habit now. there's sooooo many good st ones out there too. people are so creative and the editing skills and attention to detail are amazing

[fanartfunart]

Fly Away

Episode 3: Despair Bear

Ao3 - First - 2

(Féline Sombre & Paon Lilas designs)

Summery: An AU where Adrien never went to in-person school, not getting the cat miraculous, and found the peacock miraculous. -Chloé, determined to be allowed back to visit Adrien’s house, and discovering Adrien is visiting Marinette, sets up a party to showcase just how nice she can be. (posted in full for tumblr while I have power/internet on my computer :P)

-

Duusu was sitting on top of Adrien’s shoulder when he pressed play on the virtual hello from the class he was almost able to join. Adrien handed him a dried mango chip and he happily munched on it.

 Chloé, of course, was the first person to show up on the video, “Adrikins Hiii! I miss you already~”

 The camera turned around to show Sabrina, who must’ve been recording. She waved “Hi!”

 “Sabrinaaa, camera focused on me. Meee.”

 “Oh, right!”

 Chloé spent at least a third of the video showing him the building as if she owned it. ...Adrien was surprised it didn’t last longer.

 It shifted from the single-take style into more professionally edited together clips of various classmates. Adrien assumed this was where the boy interested in filmmaking had taken over.

 “Yo, I’m Nino, hope you get to hang out outside of school one of these days dude. If you ever need a DJ I’m your man! See you around someday!”

 “Hi, I’m Alya, investigative journalist-”

 Chloé scoffed offscreen, “You wish.”

 “Chloé I will-” the video cut out whatever happened after that. Alya stood a bit prouder, “I run the Ladyblog and am the head of the school blog! If you ever have any curiosity about the school news or superhero news, just check those out! Leave some comments if you want and I’ll get back to you asap! Keep it classy."

 The rest of the class’s videos went about the same, until the very last one. The girl from the bakery frowned at someone off to the side out of sight from the camera.

 “Come on girl, before Chloé comes back.”

 “Hi, I’m er, Marinette. I’m uh, an aspiring fashion designer and my parents own Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. I suggest trying out the macaroons! I brought some on the first day, uh, but I tripped so there weren't many left anyway so you probably didn’t miss anything!” She giggled awkwardly. She trailed off, giving a pleading look towards someone behind the camera. “Alya, I don’t know what else to say.”

 “Whatever you’d say to a new kid!”

 “Uhg, get better friends than Chloé?” She covered her mouth as Alya and Nino laughed from behind the camera. “I- mean whatttt Chloé's er, Chloé. Great evil-er friend… to er, to be setting up this videooo….ohmygosh. Can you edit that out?”

 “I would’ve, but now I’m keeping it.” Nino said. Marinette gasped in offence while Alya and Nino giggled more.

 “What are you all giggling over?” Chloé complained off-screen. Marinette gave a pointed look to the camera, and the video faded into a written message.

 “Sorry I couldn’t properly finish my message. I wish you a wonderful year, and hope you can build great friendships, even without going to school. At least you don’t have to worry about being late! Good luck Adrien -Signed, Marinette.”

 “Awwwwwwww, that’s sweet,” Duusu cried.

 “Yeah, it was.” He got out his phone to text Chloé a thank you. He sighed as he looked at her many, many, many messages of upset about no longer being allowed over anymore. He was just glad she didn’t get akumatized over it….

 He got up, glancing at Duusu. "How about we go visit the bakery and see if Marinette is open to hanging out. My father can't ban me from bakeries, right?"

 Duusu giggled, "Sounds like fun!" He frowned, "Are you only choosing to visit Marinette because she has a good place to tell your father you're going to?"

 "...No… She's just the only person in that video who mentioned a place I can visit at all."

 Duusu just giggled like he knew something Adrien didn't. He shook his head with a smile and grabbed his bag. "Come on, let's go."

-

"Marinette," Sabine called, opening the trap door to Marinette's room. She waved to the group of girls doing a miniature fashion show there. "Your friend's here."

 Marinette looked up from the blog post Alya was showing her, as the other girls continued to put on various jewelry pieces. "Who? I didn't ask anyone else to come over?"

 "A boy named Adrien. I can tell him you're busy if you want me to."

 "Adrien… Agreste?" Marinette tilted her head. He was Chloé's friend. The one that visited the bakery and fell/she pushed. Wait… he was also the guy who she made a feathered hat for who had a feather allergy wasn't he?! Why on earth would he want to visit her? Did he have some sort of ulterior motive? Was he Chloé's spy? Did he want revenge for the feathers?! "Er."

 Alya, Rose, Juleka, and Myléne all oooh-ed at the same time.

 "Oh hush. What uh, do you all think?"

 Alya grinned "Good with me, girl. I wanna see how this plays out."

 Rose nodded enthusiastically and Juleka gave a thumbs up.

 Myléne smiled, adjusting her hat, "He's a professional model right? He probably could give us some tips!"

 Marinette rolled her eyes, lowering her voice to a harsh stage-whisper, "He's Chloé’s friend."

 "The one we made the video for, yep," Alya nodded, "Exactly my point. You said it yourself, he needs better friends than her." ….On the other hand, instead of a revenge-seeking spy, he could simply be that lonely sounding boy they made a video for, trying to escape the clutches of the evil Chloé. Marinette could be the only non-Chloé & minions person he knows! Marinette sighed heavily.

 Sabine sighed softly, "Marinette… he's waiting downstairs. Yes or no."

 "Okay! Okay. I'll go down and bring him up, I guess." Marinette trudged down, ignoring the giggling girls.

-

 Adrien was wandering curiously around the bakery, hands politely behind his back. He noticed the door open and waved enthusiastically to Marinette. She squeaked and closed the door. Sabine raised a brow.

 "You can always tell him you're busy."

 "Nooo, it's fine." Marinette sighed and entered the room. Adrien’s confused head tilt turned into a smile. Like a… puppy. An incredibly patient puppy waiting for someone to play with him.

 "Hi Marinette. I watched that video today! Thank you, it was really sweet of you guys to do that. I hope you don't mind me kinda just… showing up."

 "Oh er… you're welcome. I was actually hanging out with some of the girls who helped make that."

 "Oh! If you're busy-" He gestured awkwardly to the door.

 "No, no, uh, we were just hanging out, you can join us."

 He immediately perked up, "Cool! That sounds like fun!"

 Marinette stared at him in his enthusiasm and nodded. "Come on up."

 Adrien climbed up into the room, Marinette shortly after him. The group of girls all immediately hushed their conversation upon noticing them and dissolved into giggles.

 He chuckled and waved, "Well hello. You all are wearing some lovely hats, is this a fashion show?"

 "We're helping Marinette take photos for her Instagram." Myléne said.

 "And future blog!" Alya added.

 "They've been great models for me," Marinette smiled.

 "Oh really? May I see some of the photos?" Alya handed him a phone immediately. He scrolled through some of the photos, nodding."These are great," he smiled and glanced at Marinette, "You made all these hats?"

 Marinette nodded, giggling. Rose bounced over to Adrien, showcasing a necklace. "She makes jewelry too!"

 "Those are lovely! You're really talented!" He gave Marinette a dazzling smile. She giggled and stuttered something, which was almost a thanks?

 "Hey, you're like, a pro model, right?" Alya asked, "Do you mind helping us? Got some insider tips?"

 "Oh, uh, sure!" Adrien smiled. It would be fun to help them. Probably more so than a regular photo shoot.

-

 Chloé gasped at her phone. Her Adrien in a picture on Marinette's Instagram post? All squished in a group photo with her little squad?! Why is he hanging out with her!?

 She called Adrien, anxiously tapping her nails against the back of the phone.

 Adrien picked up and Chloé did not waste a precious minute. "Why are you at Dupain-Chang's?"

 "Hello to you too, Chloé. I'm just hanging out. Marinette and her friends wanted some help with modeling her fashions."

 "Humph, that ugly stuff? Far too kind of you to do that for her."

 He sighed, "Maybe you could benefit from being a bit kinder, Chloé. It's not that hard."

 She heard a few hushed whispers in the background over the line. She balked. "I- But why would your father let you visit her and not let me, your oldest friend, over!"

 "Marinette didn't steal a book from my father's safe and get him upset enough to get akumatized." Adrien's voice was level. Gentle even. Chloé felt that was probably worse than any direct anger.

 Marinette's voice in the background squeaked out "Chloé’s book belonged to your dad?!"

 "Oh." Chloé muttered. "But actually Sabrina-"

 "I don't care if you got Sabrina to do it or not. I care if you learn from this kind of stuff and become a bit more considerate," Adrien sighed, "Maybe if you showcase some better behavior my father might let you come back over more again. But until then, I can't do anything about it. Sorry."

 "I…" Any defences or retorts died on her tongue.

 Adrien waited a moment, "I gotta go Chloé. Talk to you later, okay? Goodbye."

 "Goodbye...Adrien."

 Adrien hung up and she plopped onto the couch, staring at the earlier text messages between her and Adrien.

 Chloé blinked away tears.

-

 Adrien sighed, turning towards the group of girls, "Sorry. My father kinda banned Chloé from coming over to my house and she's still… very upset about it…"

 "She…" Marinette coughed, "Um. What was that about a book?"

 "Chloé and Sabrina came over and uh, Sabrina got caught taking my father's book. It was important to him. Apparently they lost it… I was hoping they could find and return it and they'd be allowed back but…" He glanced at the floor and shrugged.

 "Right. Right. And where did your dad get this book? Er… Maybe we can get a replacement?" She giggled awkwardly.

 "I don't know. He didn't explain much about it." He waved a hand dismissively, "Anyway, you were uh, suggesting food?"

 "Right!" Marinette cheered, "Shall we raid the kitchen? Maybe dad can teach us a good recipe and we can bake something like we were supposed to at school today." She opened the door and gestured for the group to file out downstairs.

 "Yeah, before the fire alarm interfered," Alya said, walking down.

 Rose took Julika's hand and they made their way down, Meline and Adrien not far behind.

 Marinette waited for them to get out of earshot before whispering for Tiki to come out. She zipped out as Marinette grabbed her purse. "If Chloé got the book from Adrien's house, why did Adrien's father have the spellbook? He was akumatized so he can't be Hawkmoth right?"

 Tiki shrugged helplessly, "You'll have to go over and ask him."

 "Ugh, why is tracing down who had this book like a game of evil telephone?" Marinette groaned.

 "Marinette, are you coming?" Myléne called.

 "Oop! Be right there!" She opened her purse for Tiki to zip into it. She raced down the steps to catch up to her friends.

-

 Jean-Claude arrived with chocolates and Chloé tearfully popped them into her mouth. He lingered despite his job being complete. "May I ask what has upset Mademoiselle?"

 "Adrien doesn't wanna be my friend anymoreeee," She whined, "He's making new friends with other girls. How can he do this to me, Jean-Michel?"

 "Uh, my name is- nevermind. Perhaps Mademoiselle can see comfort with Mr. Cuddly?" He offered the stuffed bear with a light flourish.

 She gasped and grabbed the teddy bear, cuddling it close.

 "If you don't mind my asking Mademoiselle, did he say why?"

 "Something, something kindness and consideration." She waved a hand. She pouted. "What do I do Jean-Yves?"

 "Perhaps Mademoiselle remembers Mr. Cuddly when she was a little girl and how he was always nice to Mademoiselle when she was a child?"

 Chloé pursed her lips, eyes shiny, and nodded.

 "Mr. Cuddly is always kind, even when it doesn't directly benefit him. But that has made him a very good friend. Perhaps, Mademoiselle can follow Mr. Cuddly's example and Adrien  will see how good a friend Mademoiselle can be."

 "Oh you're right Jean-Jacque, Adrien wanted me to show his dad I'm considerate, so I'll show him! Then I'll get my Adrikins back and he'll stop hanging out with Dupain-Chang! Er…. How...should I do that?" She giggled awkwardly.

 Jean-Pierre sighed heavily, looking exhausted already.

-

 Adrien was covered in flour and giggling about it. Juleka wasn't even halfway through a mumbled apology before he was forgiving her. Marinette wasn't sure how he was supposedly friends with Chloé in the first place. Was he mind controlled or something by her?

 Alya slid next to Marinette and grinned "So, are we thinking friendly boy or boyfriend here?"

 Marinette rolled her eyes and shook her head "I am not competing with Chloé over her infamous 'Adrikins'. Blegh."

 "That wasn't a 'ew no' though~ You can't deny he's cute."

 Marinette huffed, "Like, in a cute puppy way."

 Alya snorted and nodded, "Fair enough."

 The group's phones all pinged with the exception of Marinette's.

 They each got out their phones. Adrien raised a brow. "Chloé's hosting a party?"

 "Did you all get one?" Juleka asked, looking around at them.

 Myléne nodded, "It looks like it. Maybe she's taking Adrien's advice and is gonna try to be nicer."

 Marinette scoffed, "Please, it's probably some sort of joke or prank."

 "Did you get an invite?"

 Marinette looked at her phone and shook her head, "No…"

 Alya chuckled, "Well that means it's real and not a joke, doesn't it, hm?

 Marinette made a disgruntled face. Then her phone pinged, "Eeew! I got invited!" She threw her phone, then stumbled to catch it before it landed in the batter. Adrien stumbled and caught it for her. They crashed into each other, pinning Adrien between the counter and Marinette. She immediately backpedaled. He giggled awkwardly and handed the phone to her, stepping back out of her space.

 "This is gonna be so much fun! There's gonna be dancing!" Rose looked up, smiling at Juleka.

 "Wait, you guys aren't seriously considering going, are you?" Marinette squeaked.

 "Why not?" Myléne muttered, shrugging, "Maybe she's really trying to be nice."

 "Chloé? Nice?" She shook her head, "Eugh, whatever, you guys can go but count me out."

 Adrien shrugged, idly fiddling with the dough. "I've known Chloé for a long time. She can be cool, sometimes, really." He looked up. ...Wait, did he have baby-doll eyes like Manon or something?! What is this sorcery? He smiled softly. "Maybe give her a chance, Marinette."

 Marinette pursed her lips and sighed "Yeah, yeah, fine, I guess." Alya’s teasing smirk didn't help at all though.

-

 Chloé had it all planned. She had set up a section for adults as well, having sent invites for some of the teens' parents. Namely, she needed Adrien’s father to see how great of a person she could be. Unfortunately the main person she wanted there...was not. But hey maybe this could work with word-of-mouth…. Parents talk to other parents about how nice random kids are, right?

 So while the adults mostly stayed around the tables talking, the teens danced and played in the ball pit. Jean-Paul had been practically following her around with Mr. Cuddly, reminding her what Mr. Cuddly would do. But, Adrien was there! And! Adrien smiled at her! Every time she was nice! So the plan seemed to be working.

Until he left the dance floor to talk to Marinette and her friends. She barely contained her rage. Actually, she didn't contain it at all. Chloé abandoned her dance with Kim and started marching toward them.

 "Oh, I do need to get some of your guys' phone numbers or something so I don't have to make surprise visits all the time," Adrien said, giggling awkwardly.

 Alya nodded, "Yeah for sure, I'll give you Nino's number too, he's DJing-"

 Chloé was so close to pulling Adrien away until Jean-George blocked her path.

 "Mademoiselle if you-"

 "Move, Jean-Marc!"

 He pulled out Mr Cuddly, and spoke in a squeaky voice, "Oh, Chloé dear, Mr Cuddly is very proud of you-" Chloé gasped and tried to bat the teddy bear away.

 "Is that your teddy bear Chloé?" Kim laughed, leading the traitorous group of teens.

 Chloé gasped and pulled Jean-Louis into the kitchens.

 "I've had it with you and your stupid advice! Ive had it with you, Jean-whatever your stupid name is!"

 "Mademoiselle I was only trying to help."

 "No more Mademoiselle, no more help, no more anything! You're fired!" She marched out, leaving Jean-??? clutching the teddy bear. Somewhere, a very patient Hawkmoth (who purposefully declined an invitation in a subtle attempt to make a teenage girl more frustrated and anxious and make a villain at her party eventually) grinned to himself.

-

 Sabrina was just chilling, really. She'd helped set up the entire thing and now they'd much rather just sit and drink her juice. Just as content as Plagg with an extra piece of cheese.

 Until a teddy bear clamped onto her leg.

-

 Chloé utilized her excess frustration to pull Adrien away from Marinette. "Come on, we should dance."

 "Right now? But, I was talking to-" Adrien half heartedly protested, already stumbling along.

 "He doesn't have to go with you if he doesn't want to, you can't just drag him around," Marinette interrupted, grabbing Adrien's other arm.

 "Chloeee," Sabrina called, brandishing a hair brush like a weapon, "Come here. Let me brush your hair. It won't hurt I promise."

 "Don't you see I'm busy?" Chloé huffed. She tugged on Adrien's arm, except this time she got resistance. Adrien pulled his arm away, frowning at Sabrina.

 "Uh, something's… wrong with Sabrina," he said.

 Sabrina smiled, and leapt toward Chloé.

 Marinette intercepted Sabrina, brows furrowed in determination and flipped her onto the ground. Adrien stared at her.

 "Oh. Wow," He breathed out.

 Sabrina blinked and sat up, "Huh? Why am I on the floor?"

 Marinette frowned, looking around the room, "Er… you were… trying to attack Chloé."

 Sabrina gasped and scrambled to a stand. "Ohno, I… I uh, I need to go." Sabrina anxiously smiled and then ran off.

 "Me too actually… I, uh ...too much orange juice." Marinette ran off, leaving Adrien with- ….Where did Chloé go?

 He glanced around, and found her swatting away… some kid Adrien didn't know. He was pretty sure they were in the video somewhere.

 He frowned and glanced around, before running off to the stairwell.

-

 Marinette shook her head as she hid in the bathroom stall, "Looks like Chloé upset someone. Guess it was only a matter of time. Tiki, Spots on!"

-

 Sabrina raced into the kitchen, "Oh I can't believe I was just mind controlled by an Akuma. Poor Chloé!"

 Plagg cackled in laughter, "You have the power of destruction and you were about to chase Chloé with a hair brush. I can't believe it."

 They rolled their eyes, "That's definitely a good thing. Plagg, Claws out!"

-

 Adrien closed the door to the stairwell, checking that no one was there. Duusu zipped out with a cheer, "You love Marinette!"

 "I- what? I er-" He blushed and glanced to the side, "No I don't," his voice came out squeaky.

 "Yes you do, I know it!" Duusu giggled, gesturing to himself, "      Emotion     Kwami." Duusu tilted his head, "Do you intend to tell her? How? Maybe a cute letter or something? Oh you two would be just so cute together! And we could have more fresh pastries!"

 He sputtered and shook his head. "Focus Duusu. We need to help Chloé," Adrien said, fixing the brooch to the front of his shirt.

 Duusu giggled more.

 Adrien took in a deep breath, trying to calm his own blush. "Duusu, Spread my feathers!"

-

 Ladybug and Féline Sombre were already there… Well that was fast.

 "You finally showed up! What took so long!?" Chloé cried towards the two superheros, as she peered from her hiding spot behind a pillar. ...Or maybe it wasn't fast? Did Chloé call them or something? She has mentioned being their friend. Often. By the annoyance from Ladybug, he guessed she wasn't a very good friend if that was the case.

 "What, not excited to see me?" Paon Lilas asked with a grin.

 "Oh yeah you too." Chloé waved a hand, apparently having just noticed him. ...Paon really needed to work on some dramatic entrances.

 Nino threw a CD disc towards Chloé and she shrieked.

 Ladybug wrapped her yoyo around Chloé's leg, pulling her back and into the ball pit. Féline Sombre leaped up to restrain Nino.

 Nino blinked in confusion, "Huh?"

 "Oh, sorry," Féline Sombre let him go, looking for the teddy bear controlling people.

 Another boy threw a chair towards Ladybug. "How about a game of flying chairs?" He taunted.

 "Love to but," Paon kicked the chair away, landing in a wall, "shouldn't music be involved?"

 Ladybug was grabbed from behind and she pushed Alya off, spinning around to find the teen reporter blinking in confusion.

 A boy raised a table above his head, and Féline Sombre extended her staff to knock it out of his hands. Paon grabbed the table before it flew into any civilians and dropped it on the floor. "Careful kitty."

 "Whoops... But, where'd he go?" Féline asked, turning around.

 Ladybug looked around frantically, trying to find someone who was acting off. Paon Lilas grabbed her hand.

 "What are you doing?" Ladybug tugged away. Paon pulled back, making her stumble forward. "Oh no."

 "Ooo, pretty earrings." He made a swipe towards her earrings and she shoved him back, making him stumble.

 "Knock it off, bird brain!" She exclaimed.

 He growled and tried again with a punch. Féline Sombre vaulted in on her staff and kicked him back into a table.

 Paon Lilas plucked a feather and grabbed a plastic spoon from the table.

 A floating marionette rod was summoned. The strings wrapped Féline Sombre's arms and legs. They gasped as they were dragged forward towards Ladybug.

 "Hey!" Ladybug cried, "What are you doing?"

 "I'm not doing this!" Féline shrieked. She threw a punch towards Ladybug, "Sorry!"

 "Paws off kitty cat!" Chloé called, pushing Féline over.

 "Thanks!" Ladybug called, "Lucky Charm!" And… got an over large crochet hook.

 Paon Lilas growled and motioned his head, the senti-marrionetted Féline being flung back towards Chloé. He charged toward Ladybug.

 Ladybug glanced between the marionette rod and the teddy bear. She grabbed a marionette string with the crochet hook Féline passed her and twirling the hook to properly tangle the string, threw it into a wall. The string snapped, giving Féline control of one of her hands.

 "Féline," Ladybug called. Paon kicked her and she jumped back, "I need you to cut some strings soon!" Ladybug and Paon Lilas fought. She shielded, he swept her legs. He went in for a strike, she blocked.

 "Sure thing, Bug," Féline raised a hand, summoning her destructive power, "Cataclysm!"

 "Now, Chloé if you could be so kind-” She gestured to the captured marionette strings.

 Chloé nodded, taking up the hook and diving for the teddy bear, catching a loop on its back. She tugged and threw it back to Féline Sombre. They touched the Akuma string with their Cataclysm.

 Paon blinked as the Akuma was destroyed, halting a punch. He took in heavy breaths, stumbling back as a wave of fear hit him over the receding fog of mind control. "Ladybug? What are you doing?"

 Fear was quickly replaced with relief and pride. Ladybug grinned, "Just saving your feathery hide with our new sidekick." She looked at Chloé.

 "You haven't defeated me yet!" A small voice squeaked and kicked Paon Lilas in the chin.

 "Watch your step!" Ladybug readied her yoyo to capture and purify the butterfly that was fluttering away.

 "Can someone help me out here!?" Féline Sombre yelled. Paon glanced at the senti-monster strings attached to her feet and hand and then at the spoon he was carrying. His miraculous beeped. He snapped his fingers, pulling the amok from the spoon and dropping it.

 Ladybug threw her crochet hook into the air, "Miraculous Ladybug!" The swarm of ladybugs returned everything in the room to normal. Ladybug and Féline Sombe high fived. Paon Lilas ran. Before either of them turned to look his way.

 Ladybug turned, finding the other miraculous wielder missing. She sighed, "He flew off again."

 Chloé cleared her throat.

 Ladybug blinked and looked at her. "Oh. Er, thanks for helping me back there…. It was very nice of you."

 Chloé smiled, dusting off her jacket, "It was, wasn't it? Did you hear that, Jean-Pascal?! If Ladybug says I'm nice then Adrien and his dad have to believe it!"

 "...Mademoiselle I must admit I have no memory of what just happened."

 "Basically you turned evil and I saved you. Without me the superheros probably never would have succeeded." Chloé explained.

 Both Ladybug's and Féline Sombre's miraculous' beeped.

 "Gotta go," Ladybug said, running up the stairwell to the roof.

 "Same here," Féline said, giving a polite nod to Chloé and Jean-Something. She ran out the doors.

 "Hm. Maybe some of this nice-stuff of yours makes some sense….. Jean-Baptiste, I've decided to keep you on. Don't let the guests all run away, they don't wanna miss what's next!"

 Jean-Pierre nodded "Thank you, Mademoiselle, I will Mademoiselle."

-

 Adrien sighed as he watched Marinette finish her macaroons. He was too tired to make his own. He sat in a chair to avoid any sudden dizzy spells, resting his head on the table.

 Chloé slid next to him, looping her arms around his shoulders. "Sooo Adrikins, I'm really nice now, did you notice? I even let Marinette's dad finish teaching everyone how to make those messy macaroons."

 He pulled his attention from Marinette and nodded. "Yes, it's very nice of you." He smiled a little. She frowned…. Usually smiling causes the opposite response.

 "Ugh, what's wrong? You're not like, super happy. I did everythingggg."

 "Oh uh," he glanced at Marinette again, before looking back at Chloé, "It's nothing."

 Chloé followed his glance and pouted, "Did she say mean things to you? Do I need to tell her her macaroons are appalling or something?"

 "No! No. Please no. We just talked about being nice."

 "Oops! Right…. Wait. You don't like her do you?"

 He blushed and looked away, shrugging.

 Chloé gasped, "Nooo! Ughhh, why couldn't you fall in love with someone unattainable? Like Ladybug or somebody."

 "Huh?" Adrien crinkled his nose, "What?"

 "Nothing~ Fine, fine. We're still best friends forever right though?"

 He huffed a smile and nodded, "Yeah, Chloé, best friends forever."

 "Pinky swear?" She held out her pinky in front of him and he linked their fingers.

 "Pinky swear."

 She let out an exhale of relief, "Okay, make sure to tell your dad I'm the best influence ever now."

 Adrien giggled and nodded, "Sure. I'll try."

 "Perfect. You promised," She grinned and waltzed over to the bakers and began listing off what was wrong with their goods. Pausing at Marinette, she glanced at Adrien and simply passed her by without a word…. Marinette seemed offended anyway.

 Adrien shook his head. Oh, that didn't cause spots in his vision. Good. Satisfied with the conclusion the worst of the battle weariness had passed, he got up to see if Marinette might share some of those cookies. Then, if he had the energy, repair some of Chloé’s emotional damage.

[boonki]

ask from the lovely @lynnpaper from these prompts! Sorry in advance for the long post, but I love talking about my writing!! ❤️

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

So this is a little snippet from my college au from a chapter I haven’t posted yet (or edited yet, for that matter)- I just love writing Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s friendship so much and I think this captures their dynamic well (at least I hope so!): 

The small screen of Anakin’s laptop lights up the corner of his dorm room, a scary video game compilation playing on youtube. Ahsoka makes grabby hands for Anakin’s box of Cheez-its, and he reluctantly hands her the box, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. This has become their destressing ritual; Ahsoka always jokes that there’s nothing more relaxing than being scared shitless in a dark room at two am, and Anakin kind of has to agree. He does sleep better after watching Ahsoka lose her shit giggling and screaming for an hour.

The character onscreen makes their way through a nearly pitch black house, flashlight practically useless. Anakin’s stomach is clenched, a jump scare has to be coming soon.

Then, out of nowhere:

“So, are you going to ask him out?”

Anakin’s neck almost cracks, he snaps his head towards her so quickly. “What?”

She talks around a mouth of Cheez-its. “Oh, c’mon, you and Obi-wan. You clearly like him, and it sounds like he likes you too. So,” she shakes the box and shoves more into her mouth, giving herself chipmunk cheeks “you gon’ass’im?”

Anakin snatches the box out of her hands. “Absolutely not.”

Ahsoka sighs out of her nose and finishes chewing. “Why not? No-” she holds up a hand at his shriveling look “-hear me out. You really like him, Anakin. And I know we’ve never really talked about it, but I get the sense you’ve never really had a boyfriend before, and I don’t want you to pass this by just because you’re scared.”

Anakin is quiet for a moment, absentmindedly watching the video. “It’s not just that I’m scared. Well, I am, but it’s…” he shakes his head, grappling for the right words. Ahsoka watches him, patient. “Listen, my mom doesn’t know that I’m...that I like boys. And so I’ve never had the possibility of something working out with someone before, because I’ve always lived at home. And like, what if it works out and I fall in love with him, and then I lose him?” He closes his eyes at the emotion threatening tears, his honesty unlocking little bits of himself that he had neatly tucked away. “What if I fuck it all up? And the holidays are coming up and what if he wants to meet my family and what would I tell my mom? God, what if he doesn’t even like men and I’m just pining over someone I can’t have? Besides, why would he ever want someone like me?”

Ahsoka considers this all carefully, her lower lip pushed out in thought.

Anakin, eyes still closed, feels a sharp poke on his cheek: her finger. He startles, ready to admonish her, but she beats him to it.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

He looks down at the Cheez-it box. “I know, but-”

“And you deserve happiness, okay? Anakin, you deserve to be loved. I’m sorry that your mom doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this, but I’ll always love you and support you, no matter what, okay?” She reaches out and squeezes his bicep. “Go after him. You want this.”

Anakin can’t look at her, his eyes welling up in tears at her honesty, her love, her friendship. He is so lucky to have her.

She grabs the box back, takes a large handful into her mouth. “If you don’t ask him out, I’m gonna tell him about the time you farted when I cracked your back.”

He winces. “It was one time, please, let me forget.”

“Never. It smelled so bad.”

“I mean, I could probably go for one right now,” he presses on his stomach, and grins devilishly at her, “if we’re gonna talk about how bad they smell.”

Her eyebrows jump up, and so does she, racing for the door. “No, absolutely not, goodbye and goodnight, I am going home.”

“Come back, I’m kidding.” He’s laughing, deep belly laughs that are working to cleanse him of the sadness of their conversation.

She eyes him warily. “Pinky promise.”

He holds up his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

When she lifts her hand, he grabs her wrist and pulls her into his side, trapping her in a hug.

“Thank you, for, y’know...being my friend.” He mumbles into her hair while she squirms against him.

She stills. “Anytime, loser.” Her arms thread around his middle, hugging him back. He can smell the lingering Cheez-its on her breath. “I mean it, you deserve love.”

G - Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! I usually outline in detail first and then sit down and actually do the writing. The only times I’ll write in advance is if a scene is really bugging to be written or I get sudden inspiration. Otherwise I confuse myself writing out of order- keeping track of all the details in a fic is really hard 😭

N - Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Oooh yes. There’s this living ship/pirate au that we’ve kicked around on the discord server I’m a part of and I have a vague outline out of it but I have so many other projects going on so I haven’t gotten to it! But I’m so excited for it! I love the premise so much. I wish someone else could write it out so I could just read it 😂

R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Most definitely! I can’t name names but every fic I read I pay attention to the style and prose and definitely get inspired by it and try to work it into my own writing! Lately I’ve been trying to get better at making sure there’s enough detail in a scene so it’s not all prose and dialogue, so I’ve been paying attention to that in fics. But if I’ve ever read your fic, you’ve influenced me in some way. 

U - Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

This is so hard!! There are so many good writers out there!! 

Off the top of my head: 

@sonderwalker writes great sickfics and hurt/comfort, she makes me literally uwu in my heart

@shatouto has beautiful, lyrical works that i adore

@intermundia - everything they write is gold. my god

@katierosefun has wonderful little prompts that make me smile every time they come across my dash! 

@jenjenpup her future in motion fic is one of my favorite right now! 

@unpheenix young and menace is going to be one of my all time favs 

lilyconrad on ao3 (anyone know their tumblr?) - i’ve read like everything theyve written 

@xeniaraven i love everything!!! so good!! i always want to scream in the comments after

WhiteMoose and Ripki on ao3 - wrote fucking beautiful novels for fun?? hello?? their fics are amazing 

and so many more omg literally all my friends on here are such talented writers that keep me on my toes! i feel like i have to keep up with them!! if you didn’t get mentioned please know that you should be on here, i just suck at remembering everyone (that’s what happens when you read like 453489 fics a day)

thank you for the ask my dear!! i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!! ❤️❤️❤️

[basically-i-write-shit]

sliiiiiides into ur dms with semi-ancient youtube au ideas because I may or may not have reappeared after *checks watch* four years to lurk through your haikyuu tag. Consider: kiyoko being insecure because she hangs out with yacchan and yams and tsukki, all of whom sing and/or play instruments and kiyoko's like "...I'm just pretty and a functional adult, you guys are all so talented". Also consider noya scaring the shit out of asahi who is worried for his boyfriend's health and safety

I haven’t written a thing of substance all summer, and these prompts just SENT me. Some Youtube AU is exactly what I need. 

-

Shimizu Kiyoko is not an actress. This much she’s figured out; after a long day on set of one of Ennoshita’s short skits in which she just couldn’t deliver the lines right, couldn’t emote enough for the camera, and many more mishaps that Ennoshita was so overly patient for, she never wants to look at a camera again. Except, of course, she has to-- because her girlfriend vlogs exciting life moments, and this apparently constituted as an exciting life moment. Kiyoko knows she looks put-off in the background as Yachi vlogs in the back of their Uber, and she feels bad for not looking a little happier, but she can’t find it in her for some reason. 

The thing is, Kiyoko is always at least moderately good at anything she tries-- with a few exceptions, of which she’s known for a while, like anything musical, or riding bike. She can do both, but very shakily. She had thought maybe acting would be one of the things she’s good at, because in theory it sounds easy, but either she’s really bad or Ennoshita is a mean director because what was supposed to be a two hour shoot had turned into five. Dinner had been awkward, with Kiyoko piping up even less than usual as Yachi and Ennoshita talked about anything and everything. 

Kiyoko is so lost in thought that she doesn’t hear Yachi sign off from her vlog, nor does she notice they’ve pulled up in front of their apartment building; Yachi’s hand on her shoulder startles her, and her cheeks flush a bit in embarrassment. 

“Hey, we’re home...You alright?” Yachi asks. Kiyoko smiles and nods stiffly. 

“Just a bit tired, is all.” She says. It’s not entirely a lie; she’s exhausted from the long day she’s had, and just wants to curl up in bed with her girlfriend. “Let’s go.” 

Opening the door on her side of the car, Kiyoko makes her way around the car and onto the pavement in front of their apartment building; she holds a hand out for Yachi when her door opens, which Yachi takes with a smile. They walk to the elevator in silence. Kiyoko uses her free hand to press the button for the 20th floor, and they start the ride up to their apartment. At first, it’s just as quiet as the walk in, and then Yachi starts to hum the same song playing in the elevator, quiet but still there. Kiyoko feels a soft smile tugging on her lips as she listens to her girlfriend. The elevator dings, and the doors open, and once again they’re walking; it’s a short distance down the hall to their apartment, but Yachi hums the elevator music still as they unlock the door and step in. 

There’s no need to call an “I’m home!” as the both of them are coming in together, and the apartment is silent in return. Yachi lets out a tired sigh, her shoulders slumping as she slips her coat and shoes off. “It’s so good to be home~ I love Enno-san, but that shoot when so looooong! I almost fell asleep during dinner!” 

Kiyoko chuckles and shakes her head, trekking up the small set of stairs that separates the entrance from the rest of the apartment. “It was a long day. I think I’m going to shower and go to bed. You going to join me?” 

“That sounds good. I can wait to edit this vlog until tomorrow.” Yachi replies, muffling a yawn behind her hand. She comes up the stairs a moment later, wrapping her arms around Kiyoko, who leads her down the hall to the bedroom. Yachi falls onto the bed with a soft thunk and Kiyoko smiles as she searches the room for her bath towel. She finds it hanging behind the door, and as she’s turning to go back down the hall to the bathroom, Yachi speaks up, “Hey babe?.. Are you really okay? You looked kinda upset in the car.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kiyoko hums. She leans against the doorframe, looking over at Yachi as she sits back up, The look on Yachi’s face is stern, and Kiyoko hates seeing the worry lines creasing her forehead and between her eyes. “...I suppose I was just a little disappointed in myself today. I couldn’t seem to get my lines right at all.” 

“Hm? That’s all that has you upset? Honey, you did fine.” 

“I know I did fine, it’s just...I had hoped I’d be good at it, is all.” Kiyoko murmurs. She’s embarrassed to say it. Yachi is normally the one that’s insecure, she’s the one that’s supposed to be strong, and here she is embarrassed over one skit. “You and Yamaguchi-kun make it look so easy...Like how you and Yamaguchi-kun or Tsukishima-kun make it look easy to play an instrument...I can’t even read a script and make it sound natural.” 

Yachi frowns, standing up and crossing the small space between them. “You did just fine, dear. And-- And who cares if you’re not good at acting, or singing? There are plenty of other things people like you for.” She says. 

“Yeah, I suppose. I just wish people liked me for more than my looks...All I am is pretty and a little smart.” 

It’s true, even if she doesn’t want to admit it; Kiyoko only posts on her channel once a month, if that, and it’s all educational or how-to videos. She knows her following is mostly people who think she’s attractive, or Yachi’s subscribers who thought she had content similar to her girlfriend’s. How else does she have over a half a million subscribers? She’s not at all talented. 

Yachi lets out an “aww!” and wraps her arms around Kiyoko, who hugs back, although a bit surprised. 

“Wh- What? I said the truth.” 

“That’s not what anyone thinks of you! And if it is, I’ll fight them! All of them!” Yachi says, hugging Kiyoko tight. 

“I--” 

“Your worth is not dependent on your talents. I mean it.” 

“But--” 

“Kiyoko.” Yachi’s voice is strong, probably the most assured she’s ever been, and Kiyoko pauses in her objections. She rests her head on Yachi’s shoulder, hugging her tighter. 

“...How did I get so lucky?” 

“I ask myself the same thing every night. Now go shower, so I can cuddle my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend.” 

Kiyoko smiles as Yachi pulls away, her cheeks flushed. She supposes as long as Yachi loves her, she doesn’t mind if she’s the worst actor in the world. 

-

Mild Manga spoilers for the Asanoya drabble but like very mild. 

Asahi Azumane, despite his affluence in Japanese fashion, does not go on social media often-- that is, unless his boyfriend and avid world-traveller-slash-modern-day-adventurer is involved. Asahi isn’t able to go on every trip Noya goes on, since his days are busy, but he watches Noya’s videos whilst he’s away. 

Even if Noya calls and details his adventures, Asahi finds comfort --and occasional terror-- in Noya’s vlogs. Seeing Noya (and, on occasion, Tanaka) doing wild stunts in a foreign country is terrifying and sends Asahi’s heart racing. 

Asahi isn’t on social media. Which makes him even more concerned when he logs onto twitter and finds a two-day-old tweet from his boyfriend, the caption on a picture of bloody teeth in a hotel room’s bathroom sink saying “Lol @ tana_ryuu_vlog and I tried surfing in the HUGE tub in my hotel room....Didn’t go too great. Vlog where this happened coming sometime this week!” 

Asahi’s heart sinks and he thinks back to when Noya called him from Bali last night-- he hadn’t said anything about losing his teeth, or an accident of any kind. Yet here Asahi is, staring at the tweet with trembling hands. He doesn’t even noticed he’s exited out of his twitter and into his phone dialer until he sees Noya’s name on the screen, the call processing. He holds the phone to his ear, trying to remember to breathe. 

“Hello? Babe, everything alright? You should be working right now.” Noya sounds tired, like he was asleep, and-- right, it’s only nine in the morning where he is right now. 

“I’m-- I’m fine. Are you okay? I saw your tweet.” Asahi asks, his voice quiet. 

“Huh? Which one?” 

“You tried...bathtub surfing...” 

There’s a quiet “Ah!” and Noya laughs, his tone light despite Asahi’s anxiety. “Right! That was so hilarious, babe, Ryuu lost his two front teeth! Ennoshita-san is going to kill him!” 

It takes a moment for Asahi to process. When he finally does, he blinks. Once, twice. “I-- What?” 

“Yeah, we have ‘em in a glass of milk, he’s going to an emergency dentist across town right now to see if they can put ‘em back in, or if he’ll have to get an implant in when we get back to Japan.” 

...Sometimes Asahi wonders why he loves him so much. 

[trashfor-imagines]

The Music Series: Haikyū Edition! | 1

FIRE FOR YOU ft. Tendou x Reader

Concept: The Music Series will be a collection of one shots based on a song or music video for each story. Titles will be hyperlinked to the song or a music video for your convenience. :)

Summary: You’d known Tendou since elementary school. It was obvious that the two of you would catch feelings some day; unfortunately, you were the first to fall and he wasn’t extending his hand to save you. Warnings: Angst. Thoughts of suicide. Mentions sex.

-

It was chilly as you stood at the red post office box not far from campus, staring at it with several envelopes in your hands. With a sigh, you bit your lip, depositing them. You applied early for universities that were accepting far and wide. Anything to get you out of Japan at this point. Heading back toward campus, you stopped by a vending machine, buying a strawberry milk. Your nose and cheeks were rosy from the cool breeze that nipped at your face.

“Hi, (Y/N)! It’s so chilly out today for September,” a girl you knew from class commented as you stood on the corner together, waiting for the pedestrian light.

“Oh, yes it is,” you replied softly. The two of you fell silent.

“Ah- see you in class,” she spoke quickly, running ahead a few steps when the signal changed. You walked slowly, allowing the distance to grow between you. It was clear your classmate didn’t want to talk for any longer beyond the casual chitchat. Your life was filled with that now.

Walking into your dorm, you slipped off your shoes, and put away your coat and scarf before collapsing onto your bed. This melancholy cloud that followed you was old enough to feel normal, but new enough to still weigh heavily on you. Two more terms, you could endure it.

The next morning, you woke and moved on autopilot. You cared about your appearance still - that was a comfort to you. It meant you hadn’t lost all hope. Smiling at yourself in the mirror, you allowed the expression to fade away as you left the confines of your room. It was probably the only smile you’d muster today. The walk to class was lonely.

“Hey, that’s the cute girl I want to ask out,” whispered a boy as you passed in the hall. He was a third year as well, but in a different class.

“What? You’ve got to be kidding you can’t like her.”

“Why not, man? She’s a looker.”

“She’s that crazy girl from first term!”

Taking your seat, the fourth desk in the first column of desks closest to the door, you waited patiently for class to start, you stared at a spot on the chalkboard, spinning your pen in your hand without much thought to it. It was something you learned when you were small and it became a habit for when you had nothing to do. You almost fumbled your pen when a tall head of red hair walked in, laughing with a group of boys. You refused to let your eyes rest on him for long, turning your head to stare at the wall that separated you from the hallway. You were thankful his seat was next to the window and far away from you. It was almost funny now. You remembered a time when you wished he was much closer.

Tendou Satori had been your other half for all of your youth. You remembered the day you first saw him in elementary school during recess. There was something about the red haired demon boy with a bowl cut as he squatted by himself, using a stick to draw pictures in the dirt. Brave little you picked up a stick and squatted right beside him. You lost a lot of friends that day when you decided to hang out with the demon boy, but you gained Satori and he had been enough for over ten years. Honestly, you never realized he was your only friend until now. As the two of you grew older and volleyball helped him gain confidence, it was easier for him to make friends and the two of you were clearly a package deal. Both sets of your parents joked throughout your friendship that they hoped the two of you would even marry one day.

This past May, just at the start of your third year, had been the beginning of the end of the dynamic duo.

It was his birthday and you had just gotten back to campus from a dinner party with the volleyball club. Satori had been walking with his arm around your shoulders, something he’d done since you two first became friends.

“Ey! Best-chan and I are going to walk around some more. See you tomorrow!” he called out to the boys.

“Happy birthday again Tendou!”

“Goodnight (Y/N)!”

“See you!”

Soon it was just the two of you walking around campus, laughing and teasing one another. The two of you ended up in a game of tag before laying out on the soccer field, tired and breathing heavy. Reaching into your small purse, you pulled out an envelope and dropped it on his chest.

“Oh Best-chan, I though you forgot,” he spoke with a teasing tone, opening the envelope. Inside was a hand embroidered patch you spent weeks working on that said GUESS MONSTER. “I love it! You did this on your own didn’t you. You’re so talented. Will you put it on my sports jacket?”

“Of course!” You turned over so you lay on your stomach, propping yourself up by your arms so you could see his face better. Bending your legs at the knees, you casually kicked your legs behind you. “Sa-Sa, are you happy with your birthday this year?”

He thought carefully about his day. “Well, there’s one thing I want.”

“What is it?”

He looked over to you slyly and his voice was teasing. “I don’t know.”

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. “I didn’t think you’d be embarrassed.”

“I’m not the one who’d be embarrassed, Best-chan.” He pouted and gently bumped your shoulder. “Don’t act weird when I ask you, okay? You can say no.”

You perked up a bit, realizing it had something to do with you. “Promise.”

“I want us to be friends with benefits, (Y/N).”

Shaking your head, you sat up to pay attention when the teacher walked in, standing to bow and say the good morning greeting. Taking your seat, you focused on your lesson and prayed for classes to be interesting and for time to pass quickly.

It was during your third class when a student came to deliver a note to the teacher.

“(Y/N), you’ve been requested to the teacher’s room.”

Standing, you bowed before leaving, ignoring the gazes of your classmates. As you walked the hall to approach the teacher’s room, you spotted Coach Washijou standing there, stern as ever. You bowed in respect.

“(Y/N), I’ll keep this simple. I need you to come back to the club,” he spoke.

“Coach, the boys don’t want me there.”

“Then they’re idiots! You’re the best manager I’ve ever had. You’ve been with us since your first year and these kids were spoiled by you. All they know is how to play,” he spoke loudly, clearly annoyed thinking about the team. “I don’t know what happened and I don’t care. This team won’t succeed if they don’t have the perfect support and that’s you. You graduate this year right? So I’ll also need you to train your replacement to do things exactly as you. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow morning. You should remember the time. Don’t be late.”

Did this grown adult just bully you? Holding back your sigh of annoyance, you simply bowed, understanding that was the end of discussion and headed back to class.

He barked at your retreating figure, “And learn to smile again, team manager!”

Excellent.

As you approached the classroom door, you stopped, hand on the door knob. You peered through the small window of the classroom, eyes floating over the faces of some of your classmates. Sighing, you backed away, and headed to your dorm to change. You needed to get out of here.

Throwing on a pink crop top and black overalls with the legs cuffed and slipping into some white Keds, you grabbed a crossbody purse and coat before heading into town. You walked along the river, kicking stones on the sidewalk. Crossing the river, you found yourself approaching the Gokoku Shrine at Sendai Castle. You followed the traditional religious practices by the book: purifying yourself with water, depositing a 5 yen coin for luck, ringing the bell, bowing twice and clapping twice, making sure not to skip a step. There weren’t many people around, so you took your time as you prayed. You felt tears well and slip from the corners of your eyes.

You were still gasping, taking in shaky breaths, your nerves still sending signals through your body. Arms and legs wrapped around you tightly as kisses were placed along your shoulder. Tendou nuzzled his face against your neck, pressing more kisses to your skin. 

“You’re so good,” he mumbled into your ear, kissing your cheek. Turning your head slightly, your noses touched. He yawned and gave you an eskimo kiss before pressing his lips against yours.

“Really?” you whispered quietly, suddenly very conscious of yourself.

He laughed and nodded. “You feeling okay?”

“I feel... really different. I don’t really know,” you were honest with him. This had been your first time and now that it happened you were so thankful that it was your best friend. It made it so easy to communicate and you didn’t feel embarrassed for being unsure or telling him when you didn’t like something.

With a teasing smile, he blew a raspberry on your cheek. “Remember Best-chan, just don’t fall in love with me! You promised.”

Laughing, you rolled your eyes. “Who’d fall for you, Guess-chan?”

Stretching out, he got up and headed to the bathroom and left you alone. Biting your lip, you curled up into a ball, a sense of insecurity bubbling up within you. You heard the water running for the tub and he popped his head back out and your fears disappeared in a heartbeat. “Let’s clean up. I’ll give you a bath!”

Biting your lip, you bowed once more in thanks before stepping away. Wiping tears from your cheeks, you walked around the temple grounds.

“Miss?”

Looking up, you saw the shrine’s kannushi. He smiled peacefully at you. You bowed to him.

“How can I help you?” you asked, offering your own smile.

“Would you walk with me a bit?” he asked. Nodding, you walked with him silently. “The weather’s so nice isn’t it?”

“Ah, I suppose. It’s getting colder.”

“Yes, it is, but soon it will be spring again and everything will be new again. Bad weather will always pass. I saw you pray. I was very concerned to see the heavy cloud over you.” You said nothing in response, wringing your hands together. He stopped walking and you stilled as well. “Here. This is for you. I’ll be sure to ask kami to give your prayer extra consideration.”

Shiawase. A happiness amulet.

Arms were wrapped lazily around you as you lay in bed with Tendou after a very active evening. The two of you had bathed and Tendou put new sheets on the bed, the usual post intimacy ritual. Now the two of you were watching the newest episode of an anime he’s been following and cuddling. This had been going on for months now and it had been incredible.

The two of you had always been close, but now it felt like a different level. You knew so much more about him now. Both of you shared mindless and sometimes deep thoughts with one another that one usually wouldn’t speak of and gave each other the intimate affection you both craved. You hadn’t realized you were missing out on feeling loved in this way. 

“Tendou, I have something for you.” You reached over into the drawer of your nightstand, pulling out a charm and hanging it in front of his face. “Kaiun. It’s a good luck talisman.”

His eyes sparkled as he looked at the charm that was as red as his hair. “You’re the best, Best-chan. Next match we win’s for you!”

Accepting it, you bowed. “Thank you so much.”

He hummed, a pleasing sound emitting from him as he nodded his head and bid you good day, going on his way. When he was out of sight, you headed back to campus. Tomorrow was going to be a long day with how early you’d have to get up.

It was 5AM when your alarm went off. Going through your routine, you put your hair up in a dutch braid and dressed in your maroon shorts and a white t-shirt. Grabbing your forgotten team manager jacket from the back of your closet, you headed to the gymnasium and punched in the code, opening it up. You found the lights easily in the dark from years of routine. It took only a few minutes to check your old notes and prepare drinks for the team. You rolled out the giant carts of volleyballs before setting up the net and getting towels for the team. Checking your watch, you headed over to the gym door and stood, waiting to greet the coach and players.

Ushijima was the first to arrive.

“Good morning, Ushijima.”

The towering captain acknowledge you, politely bowing in response. “I see Washijou was successful.”

“He’s not an easy person to reject.”

He hummed in agreement. “Do your best then.”

Soon the team trickled in, every one of them surprised to see you greet them; it seemed the captain was the only one the coach decided to discuss this situation with. Coach Washijou seemed quite smug and greeted you formally when he arrived. The only one missing was Tendou. Sighing, you went ahead and set up the safety net over the entry way to keep balls from escaping on accident. It was time to start practice and he was always late.

Fifteen minutes later you heard a series of apologies as Tendou slipped in, laughing off his tardiness. Coach Wahijou wasn’t having it and immediately had the boy doing flying laps until he said stop. Biting your lip, you tried not to take pleasure in him getting punished, or from the expression on his face when his gaze landed on you. You spent the morning running errands for Coach Wahijou, refilling sports drinks, collecting strays, and tossing balls for sets. It’d been a while, but you did your best to record stats for review and take notes of what Coach had to say. At the end of practice, Coach announced you were officially returning and dismissed everyone. He told you to just take care of water bottles and towels then to head off for school so you were out of there pretty quickly without having to talk to anyone.

Time seemed to tick by slowly. Tendou had made eye contact with you when he walked into class, sending you a look of pure confusion. You could feel him staring at you throughout your classes; a burning feeling. When school ended, you were quick to leave and get ready for volleyball practice, setting up just as you did that morning, except this time the boys were there putting up the nets. Coach Wahijou introduced you to the first year that would be taking over as team manager when you graduated. You had them pump air into the balls and take care of the laundry from this morning’s practice. Every once in a while, when there was time, you’d show them how to record stats and how they needed to keep notes on how each player had preferences, for example the way they liked their sports drinks made and how to tell when each player was getting tired; it was important to know when you were needed.

A few hours later, practice ended and you were putting things away in the storage room while your first year took care of the drink bottles and towels. You were looking for the push broom when a shadow fell over you.

“I love you.”

It was a whisper, but he heard it. His face was stoic and his body stopped moving, an extreme contrast from his wild and passionate expressions just moments ago. You laid beneath him in his shadow, breathing labored, eyes glazed with need and confusion. Without any further hesitation, he got off of you, slipping on his clothes and heading for the door.

“Satori wait! I’m sorry,” you sat up with realization, wrapping a sheet around you. “Please. I didn’t-”

Turning around, he gave you a look that had never been directed at you before and you felt almost fearful of it, stopping you from finishing your sentence.

“Get out. We’re done. Don’t be here when I come back.” Opening the door, he quickly left, leaving you to cry alone.

“So you’re back.”

Pretending not to notice him, you continued about your search, heading further into the room. Sighing, at not seeing the broom, you crawled over a couple of boxes, looking behind a shelving unit.

“When’d you decide to rejoin?”

Not there either. Bending down, your expression relaxed, finding the broom shoved under the shelving unit. Grabbing it, you turned around to find him in your way. The sight of him standing there gave you flashbacks of the intimate and compromising positions you’d been in with him in here. Your eyes fell to the patch on the shoulder of his sports jacket, the one you made for him.

Blinking, you spoke plainly, your voice more quiet than you had meant to be, “Excuse me, I have to sweep the gym and study before it gets late.”

“How’ve you been?” he tried again.

You raised a brow in response. Was he really trying to ask you that?

He laughed a little, clearly uncomfortable, and ran a hand through his hair. He picked up a volleyball from the cart and spun it in his hands. “Did you ever decide on plans for after graduation?”

Did he genuinely want to make small talk? Doubtful. Your face stayed expressionless, but your eyes spoke volumes and you wondered if he could see your pain. “Does it matter?”

“We haven’t spoken in months,” he stated, gripping the volleyball tightly in his large hands. “I just want to know what’s going to happen to you.”

“Satori, do you have a minute?”

He was chatting in the hallway with a few boys from class when you approached him. He didn’t even turn to acknowledge you. You stood there awkwardly, your classmates staring at you while your best friend ignored your existence. Biting your lip, you bowed your head, “Sorry for bothering you all. Please excuse me.”

“Tendou, (Y/N) looked like she had something important to say.”

“Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

“I don’t know what she wants and I don’t care. She’s crazy.”

Tendou’s words felt like being stabbed by a thousand knives.

Your gaze was fierce as you looked him in the eye. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to ask me those questions and you don’t get to know the answers. Now get out of my way so I can finish with practice.”

Stunned, he let you pass him. Thankfully he didn’t bother you again the rest of clean up. Knowing him, it was because of the first year’s presence around you. It created a buffer zone. You closed up the gym when you were finished. It took a bit longer so you decided you needed to go straight to bed in order to get up early enough to set up morning practice again.

Weeks continued on like this and soon it was nearing the Spring High Representative Playoffs in October. It only took a couple of weeks for your first year to get up to speed. You had them handling clean up for you, allowing you to get out of practices quickly. What you truly wished for was for them to already know how to organize and help run training camps so you could go home for a weekend instead of being stuck in a different prefecture at some other school with Tendou Satori for several days.

The bus ride to the training camp was insufferable. Tendou sat right behind you and burned holes into the back of your head. When everyone finally got to camp it only took a day for him to finally corner you alone. Thankfully, a few of the players from the university interrupted him and you could get away. Unfortunately, he was persistent.

“(Y/N), let’s talk,” he spoke seriously one evening. He had waited for you to finish your evening shower before bed and intercepted you in the stairwell on your way back to the female team manager’s room. When you said nothing, he continued, “Look, I know you’re still hurt-”

“Tendou!” you yelled at him, your voice echoing through the stairwell. “I confessed my feelings and you told me to get out. Then you wouldn’t speak to me when I begged you to and you even said lies about me. Hurt doesn’t describe it.” You still felt broken and beyond repair.

Soon after Tendou called you crazy, there were whispers, stories that got crazier and crazier with every time they were retold. Everything from Tendou being a victim of your lifetime of stalking to you being mentally unstable after he rejected you circulated around your class. You tried to approach Tendou to get him to stop the rumors, but he only ignored you and it fueled the stories.

So you stopped.

You stopped trying to talk to him before you made it worse. You did everything you could to limit being around him from changing how you walked to class, quitting as the team manager, and even asking for a class change - which was denied. You no longer looked in his direction if you could help it. You ate lunch alone. You kept to yourself.

People who you thought were friends avoided you, but continued to talk with Tendou, making you realize that you never had friends. You had Tendou and Tendou had friends. It made you laugh at how things had turned around. Before Tendou, you had plenty of friends and he had none. Now look at you both.

For weeks after school, you’d leave campus and walk to the Gokoku Shrine. When you crossed the bridge over the Hirose River, you’d contemplate your own end. You’d then go to the shrine and pray about it, asking for those dark thoughts to go away. It happened only once, but one night you even dared to stand on the parapet. 

One day, out of the blue, the whispers at school no longer stabbed at you. When you crossed the bridge, you didn’t have dark thoughts anymore. You stopped going to the shrine as often. Slowly, you let yourself change, studying harder and making it a goal to leave Japan. You’d remove yourself from the situation in a different way. The world was too large to stay in Japan. You’d start somewhere new.

“If you want to apologize, then do it. Just leave me alone afterwards. I’m so tired of everything. I wish it never happened.” He stood there silently and you felt it was so typical of him to not even apologize. You moved to walk past him, but he stood in your way. Making a second attempt to pass him, he reached for your hand and you slapped it away. “Enough, Tendou.”

He left you alone for the rest of training camp. In fact, he didn’t try to speak to you again until after the Spring High Playoffs. Their loss to Karasuno was a heavy hit. He tried talking to you about something mundane like his sports drink not being prepared correctly by the first year, and even though you wanted to tell him to go figure it out, you silently took care of it, knowing how much the loss was hurting everyone. Coach Washijou immediately put you to work in organizing a First Year Training Camp to be held at Shiratorizawa in early December and thankfully that kept you busy. 

It was the day before the training camp and you found yourself walking through town, headed toward the shrine to say a prayer. When you were leaving, you stopped at the top of the steps, looking out at the skyline. It was supposed to snow soon. You were half way down the stairs when you saw Tendou waiting at the bottom of the steps. Pausing before him, for the briefest of moments, you headed back to campus. He’d been silently walking with you until you got to the bridge where you stopped half way across. 

When you didn’t move, he cleared his throat and spoke calmly, “We know I’m not the type to apologize. I did those things because I meant to at the time. But I look back and I’m filled with regret. I ruined our friendship on purpose. I set us up to fail because... I was falling in love with you every day. I was going to fix it, but I wasn’t ready yet, then everything got so bad from the rumors. I didn’t mean for it to explode like it did.”

Your shoulders tensed at his words. “Why did you do it? If you didn’t mean for it, why did you let it happen? Why did you want to sleep with me?”

“To know what love was... And I learned it’s painful. Before you even said it, I could tell you loved me too, just by how you looked at me, but as long as you never said it out loud, it was fine. Then, when you said you loved me, I remembered how lonely it was before you. I couldn’t look at you anymore. You got in my head. After I walked out, I thought about what to do. Loving me meant you could stop one day, so I chose when to end it to get it over with instead of going through these feelings again in the future.”

“You didn’t even consider that it could work out between us and doomed us from the start. That’s weak and so selfish. And you’re an idiot.”

“I guess I’m all those things.”

“I don’t think you’re justified in what you did and I know you'll never apologize, but you said more than I ever expected you to. So what do you want from me?”

He was silent, thinking hard about what he wanted. “Right now, I guess I just want to know if you’ll be okay.”

You leaned against the parapet of the bridge, looking down at the river as the icy water flowed. “I used to think of dying every time I crossed this bridge. I walked to the shrine every day and I’d think of jumping. Maybe the water would put out this fire I felt burning away at me and end it all. Then I’d go and pray for those thoughts to go away.”

“So praying worked?” he asked, leaning against the parapet with you.

“Maybe.” You exhaled and watched the cloud of warm breath swirl and disappear before your eyes. “You learn to stop loving me?”

“Maybe. I thought so for a while, but I’m not sure anymore.” He peered over at you. “Did you? Stop loving me, I mean.”

“I still cry about you, so probably not.”

“Oh.”

-

Let me know if you want to be tagged in any future Haikyū!! content I create!

tag list: @hihiq��

[speckofglitter]

crush culture - crs

- requested by @animejaem -

Word count,, 2k

Genre,, fluff, not that angsty but still kinda emo i guess

You absolutely hated crush culture. Every single one of your friends had spent the majority of their teenage years hung up on a guy or a girl that they thought was ‘the one’. Ultimately none of those relationships ever lasted. You didn’t understand why people would waste their time trying to make someone else fall for them when they would have to deal with heartbreak sooner or later. Having to be in a romantic relationship with someone just felt too suffocating anyways. In short, you didn’t understand everyone’s obsession with romantic love, forcing chemistry when they knew the equation wouldn’t add up in the end. You were content with your love for your friends, family, role models and hobbies. You didn’t mind feeling lonely once in a while.

You throw on a yellow hoodie, blue jeans and converse on, grabbing your bag as you get ready for another grueling day of college classes. You were majoring in visual communication. As soon as you got to class, you looked for your friends chaeyeon and eunbin who usually saved you a seat. You spotted them in the middle of the lecture hall, sliding between seats to reach them. On your way, you accidentally bumped into someone.

‘Oh i’m so sorry’ he immediately apologized, reaching down to pick up your fallen belongings.

‘No worries.’ you smiled at him, walking off to go join chaeyeon and eunbin. You greet them, taking out your notebook. Throughout the entire lecture, you noticed someone kept giving you looks. As you turned to your right you saw the same boy you had bumped into immediately put his head down, blushing furiously. You giggled, amused at his shyness. Chaeyeon immediately poked your leg with her foot.

‘Hey, what are you laughing at?’ she smiled at you, taking a sip of her iced coffee.

‘Oh nothing, it’s just that i bumped into this guy earlier and i saw him staring at me. What a cutie.’ you laughed, looking back at him to see him eagerly taking notes. You had never seen someone look so interested in a marketing lecture before.

‘I’m pretty sure everyone would agree that raesung is cute you’re not special sis’ she retorted following your eyes as she shamelessly winked at raesung who just smiled back.

‘Wait, you know him?’ you tilted your head, confused.

‘Oh my god y/n you must live under a rock. Raesung is well known on campus. He has a youtube channel and he posts covers. He’s an amazing singer, rapper and dancer. In conclusion, you just met an icon and it seems like he likes you.’

‘We just met, i highly doubt it. Besides i’m not interested in dating anyone. I will check out his channel though’ you retorted, turning away from chaeyeon’s nosy ass to pay attention to the lecture again.

-

You were in your bed about to go to sleep when you decided to search up raesung’s channel name ‘gongjuboi’. You had no idea what that meant but as soon as you listened to his music, you realized the name didn’t matter because damnn this boy was talented. You stared out of your dorm room window, wondering if you would ever be this talented. You had decided to study visual communication against your parents’ will but you didn’t seem to be improving much since classes had started.

-

The second time you met raesung was at the campus bookstore. You were looking through the racks of books on visual communication for your next assignment when you both grabbed a book at the same time. He immediately took his hand off, apologizing.

‘I’m so sorry you can take it’ he muttered.

You recognized him immediately, ‘you know, for a youtuber you’re really shy in real life huh? It’s really fine you can have it raesung. I’ll probably illegally download a pdf or something’ you commenting. You waved at him before walking away, your platform doc martens clunking away.

Raesung’s heart was beating so fast he could probably use it as a beat for his next song. You had watched his videos.

Raesung was the complete opposite. He was a hoe for romantic love. All of his songs had been inspired by someone that he either had feelings for or at least a crush on. He was the type of person who went to sleep and dreamt of falling in love. It was now happening all over again, because of you.

-

Raesung was at the studio, dark lighting looming over him as he finished up a song. It was about you. He had been producing the track for 2 hours and writing lyrics for 1 hour. He recorded the track, immediately uploading it onto his youtube channel.

Meanwhile, you were in your room getting ready for bed. Fridays were usually the start of the time of your life. For you, that meant eating pizza in your bed as you caught up on the latest episode of grown-ish before falling asleep. You mindlessly scrolled through your subscription feed as you got a glass of water. Your finger came to a stop as you saw the raesung’s username appear on your phone. You immediately clicked on the video, curious to see what magic he had made.

The song was slow and sensual, his voice giving you chills as he sang the words. The lyrics dripped off his tongue like honey.

‘Let’s take our time tonight girl, above us all the stars are watching.’

You heart was beating fast as the song came to an end. You were completely unaware of how you had gotten into this mess. You thought you were loveproof. Maybe you had thought wrong. It wasn’t just physical attraction. You had always known raesung was attractive. He was tall, he had a charming smile and an athletic body. But now… now it almost felt like there was a gravitational pull between the two of you. You had never felt this way before. A fire was brewing inside of you and there was nothing you could do about it.

‘There's no reason to hide, what we're feelin' inside’

Those words resonated in your mind the entire night. That night, you fell asleep with someone on your mind for the first time.

-

The next morning you decided to act like last night had not happened. You got dressed, getting your camera and strolling out of your dorm, steps bouncy as you looked for a target. You had an important assignment for your advertising class and you were determined to make it amazing. You were thinking of going for a vintage style ad. You went around the city, taking photographs and videos of various things. As you walked in the art building, you came across an old television with a broken screen. It looked nothing like the perfect and ideal image that a vintage ad would want and yet you decided to take a picture of it. It reminded you of yourself.

After a few more hours of the same ritual, you decided to head home and start editing your project. You settled on a completely different vibe, using the television as a background as you edited the words ‘crush culture’ in a retro font on top of it. You were really liking how it looked but it was definitely not enough to impress your professor. You needed audio. You thought of what would fit the concept, your mind immediately wandering to raesung’s voice. You placed your head in your hands, ruffling your hair. You were frustrated that you would have to see him but it was the obvious choice. You decided to call him before you could change your mind.

He picked up after three rings.

‘Hey, who’s this?’ he asked brightly.

‘Um hi, this is y/n. I just wanted to ask you a favor if that’s ok with you…’ you trailed off.

‘Oh y/n? um yeah sure whatever you want.’ he coughed out.

‘So i have a project to do for my advertising class and i would love it if you could narrate my ad. I listened to your music and i think you have a beautiful voice’

Raesung paused for a second, shocked. He wished you could feel how fast his heart was beating right now.

‘Thank you.. And um i’d love to narrate your project. Do you have like a script or something?’ he questioned.

‘Well i have an idea but i wanna know how you feel about it. How about we meet up at 5pm at the campus café?’

‘Sure, see you there y/n.’

-

When you got to the café, raesung was already sitting down, scribbling intensely in a notebook as he sipped what you assumed was a matcha latte. When raesung wrote, he had a special kind of hunger in his eyes. His fingers moved fast, almost like he was typing. You sat down across from him, waiting for him to notice your presence. You peeked over at his notebook.

‘The girl with the heavy steps’ you cocked your head, reading aloud.

‘OH MY GOD YOU SCARED ME’ he yelled out, rushing to close his notebook.

‘I’m so sorry you just looked so focused.’ you laughed heartily.

He smiled, scratching his neck nervously.

‘So… my concept is about crush culture. I’ve never really understood the concept of dating. I feel like i’ve been surrounded by couples that had their relationships and were happy for a while but they all eventually ended. I feel like love is so temporary that i’m not sure there even is a point in dating at all. All this love just seems so suffocating. I want to express that idea in my ad.’ you explained, taking a sip of your black coffee.

Raesung listened attentively as you spilled your guts out to him.

‘Well, i had no idea you were so skeptical of love. I don’t personally agree with everything that you said but i think i know how i can make the audio for the ad. Is it okay if i take you to my studio?’

‘Of course.’ you jumped up from excitement, sliding your bag over your shoulders.

-

Raesung got straight to work as you arrived at his studio. He sat in one of those rolling chairs, scribbling a few notes in the same notebook while you got your laptop out working on the editing. A short 30 minutes later, he was finished.

‘Ok, i’m gonna sing the song i wrote for the ad, just let me know what you think’ he explained.

You nodded, sitting patiently as he got in the booth, ready to record. You fell into a trance as you watched him sing. You literally couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

‘I’m not falling for you, cause this baby is loveproof.’

You slightly shivered as he glanced at you while singing this particular line. As the song came to an end you smiled, clapping loudly.

‘That was… everything i wanted and more. Thank you so much.’ you complimented, excitedly grabbing raesung’s hands.

‘Thank you. So i’ll send you the recording and we can look at the final product.’ he replied, blushing as he realized you were still holding his hands. He looked down at your hands on top of his. You followed his gaze, promptly putting his hands down.

You watched the final product together, the both of you amazed at how good you were at your different art forms. Your vision had finally come together.

‘Thank you again raesung. I’m positive this is one of my best works and i couldn’t have done it without you. Especially since the message behind it was kind of personal…’ you mumbled nervously.

‘No problem. I love working with you. But i just wanted to say, love isn’t always temporary. I hope you find someone who can make you feel like you deserve to be loved everyday.’ he gently stated.

‘Like you?’ you whispered.

‘HUH? ME?’ he yelled out, confused at your sudden question.

‘I mean, you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like romantic love was worth it. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same, that would just be confirming my original hypothesis anyways.’ you sighed out.

‘No no i do feel the same. That’s why i was so surprised. I’ve liked you since i met you. Since you walked away from me with your loud ass boots. Since you laughed at me in marketing class.’ he chuckled.

You smiled up at him, squishing his cheeks before you leaned in and kissed him. Raesung was your first kiss and it was a lot better than you had expected. He held you like a prized possession, lips sweet like cherries. Kissing him felt like summer. You weren’t used to feeling like this. You’d never felt so alive.

-

heyo hope you guys like it 🎀🌹love you all 💖✨

••

masterlist - requests are open !!

- ya girl tiyi 💖

[hungline]

pandora’s box

pairing: jihope  genre: fluff, dance au, rated t  warnings: insecurity, implied sexual content at the end  words: 810 

summary: Jimin didn’t want to give himself the chance to hope, but it was far too late for that by now.

⇢ day one of jihope festa 2019 

"Do you really think I'll be able to get in? I'm competing for a really exclusive spot," Jimin pouts, arms akimbo as he watches their dinner on the stove.

Hoseok is busy wiping down the kitchen table yet again, the chemical smell of the cleaner probably making his eyes water as it usually does. "I know, sweetheart, but I'm more than positive about you being picked. There isn't a doubt about it."

Jimin frowns, folding his arms over his chest as the soup begins to bubble faintly. "But, hyung, what if they don't pick me?"

Jimin suspects he is about to receive the same answer he has been getting for the past week because as soon as Jimin had finished editing his video and emailed his application, the doubt began to creep in. This fact surprised no one considering that Jimin is a perfectionist, but it has been a week and Jimin still hasn't heard back from the dance school of his dreams.

Hoseok supervised his dance, had helped him with his form and even suggested a few steps that Jimin had only quietly wished he had thought of himself, but having his boyfriend help him meant the world to Jimin. He had choreographed his routine by himself and incorporated the moves Hoseok had shown him before rolling everything together and practicing until he was sure he knew the dance like the back of Hoseok's hand. Hoseok had volunteered to man the camera and Jimin rewatched all the film before deciding which version to go with. Editing had taken longer than he would like to openly admit to, but his video was done with plenty of time to spare, so he double and triple checked his application, uploaded the video, and sent it in.

He has been a mess of nerves ever since and Jimin hasn't the slightest idea how Hoseok deals with him like this, but his boyfriend is a literal saint for it and Jimin has promised himself over and over again to make it up to Hoseok once he isn't half out of his mind anymore. Hoseok has been patient and kind and quick to forgive whenever Jimin snaps at him which ultimately amounts to Hoseok being an angel and Jimin being an undeserving gremlin that happens to be the angel's boyfriend. Nothing new honestly.

Except for the stress levels in their tiny apartment. Hoseok has been working more often this week and Jimin has spent his time practicing whenever he isn't at work or sleeping, so they are both busy and exhausted now that the weekend has taken them by surprise. Jimin suspects that they won't do much else other than work and cuddle while watching some romcom neither of them finds funny on Netflix. They are both tired and overworked and having that on top of Jimin's anxiety about getting into the most prestigious dance academy in the country, he is bound to blow a gasket at some point soon.

Jimin had not wanted to let himself even have the chance of hoping for an acceptance email to be addressed to him, but his heart has been a traitor ever since he first fell for Hoseok all those years ago. Now he is fretting about whether he is good enough to be amongst the country's best dancers and denying himself the right to hope with all his might while he secretly does it anyway despite the hurt he knows is bound to come his way.

Hoseok laughs from the table and puts his cleaning supplies away, turning to face Jimin as their gazes meet. "Jiminnie, you're the most talented dancer I know. Trust me when I say that I have no doubts about you being chosen. You deserve to be picked and I know the board will see that as clearly as I do, love."

His face is warm and he lets his gaze drop, rushing to turn the stove off once he catches sight of their soup. "Thank you, hyung. I love you."

Jimin can clearly hear the approaching steps Hoseok takes towards him, but he doesn't relax until he can feel his boyfriend's arm slide across his waist and pull him close. He leans into Hoseok's chest, smiling when the elder rests his chin on Jimin's shoulder and presses a kiss to the roundness of his cheek. Jimin turns his head to the side and tilts it back for the kiss he knows Hoseok is going to land on his lips and sighs when their mouths collide, enjoying the familiar warmth around him.

"I love you, too, Jiminnie. Never forget it," Hoseok murmurs against his lips in between kisses.

  (Later when they are getting ready for bed, Jimin will receive an email from the dance academy bearing his acceptance and will turn right around to jump Hoseok's bones as they tumble into bed.)

[gowonxrk]

29th of august 2018         – part 2 for the open event “give back” {part 1}

chaewon couldn’t be any happier. the day before it’s been exactly one month since she posted the video of the announcement of ‘sowon’ and although she knew that she had a bunch of people supporting her she didn’t expect that her fans would be donating so much money such a short time span. over 600,000 won were collected in those four weeks and she was able to do something. 

she didn’t have much free time at the moment but for once she managed to get an afternoon off to go to the hospital with about 250,000 won of the money from the fundraising. the thought of making the children happy put a smile on her face as she walked through the streets - the complex already in sight. she was ready to finally achieve something, spread some happiness and do something of meaning. and as she got more confidence in her doing with every step she grabbed her phone and started instagram. she knew it was foolish to start a live video without announcing it beforehand but she felt like doing it. even if her followers might not see it, she thought it would be a good idea to show what she’s doing.

“hey~” chaewon is holding the phone up and smiles into the camera, waiting for some moments before explaining anything else, “i guess you all remember ‘sowon’, right? i’m so happy to announce that we got over 400,000 won in the past weeks so i’m going to start fulfilling the wishes of some of the kids.” the blonde is turning around to show the hospital in the background and smiles at some comments - to her surprise there were a few - before chuckling quietly and responding to one of the questions. “of course i’m not planning to go on a shopping trip with the money!” she’s turning again to walk forward, paying more attention to the path while holding the phone next to herself. she’s giving her audience a few glances every now and then but mainly just explains how her past weeks had been. “do you know this feeling? it’s so satisfying to feel you’ve done something before falling into bed..” she pauses for a moment but adds then with a smile, “though i could live without the muscle ache!” 

dance practice at least five times a week while working eight hours a day four times per week and squeezing in enough time to record some tutorial, take and edit some photos for instagram was surely tiring. it had its impact on chaewon as she couldn’t leave the house without proper makeup on - the dark circles under her eyes and a few patches of dry and sensitive skin all over her face were too visible to not cover up. but for once she knew what she wanted and she was willing to work for it. to become an idol she wouldn’t only need talent but a solid fanbase as well, there’s nothing she could cut on to be less stressed.it was just a bad she had to get adjusted to.

her chit-chat went on for a while, answering some questions and assuring some worried followers that she’s alright, until she reached the hospital. to secure the privacy of the employees and patients she bid her viewers goodbye and told them to check out her stories afterwards as she might post something later on.

although she had arranged the donation with her sister already it took her about half an hour to get through with some paper work to be let into the child’s ward again to help those kids. soobin - chaewon’s sister - had done some work for her beforehand and led her younger sister to a single room while telling her everything she had to know. the girl inside was just seven years old but suffered from severe leukemia for three years already - the only reason why she was still alive was her getting therapy every day for the past years. and as she couldn’t leave the hospital there were so many things she never did before altough it would be something overly usual to most other children. something like going to the zoo as it would require not only some medical staff to accompany her but furthermore more expensive medicine to make sure she could go for a day without any kind of therapy.

as all those things would cost about 200,000 won for just a few hours at the zoo it was too expensive - compared to all the expenses her parents already had. but chaewon could pay for all of that with the donations she got. chaewon could make sure that little girl could have her wish come true.

so as she stepped into the room, greeting park jiyoon and her parents, she felt more confident as ever before. for the first time in her life chaewon was able to help someone.

[ravenclawravings]

Tag Game

Hi all! Recently we have been tagged in a bunch of those tag games. So instead of clogging your newsfeed we decided to combine a bunch into one post.

Here are some of you who tagged us! (I tried to find you all but, we get a lot of notifications and Tumblr makes it very hard to sort through them)

Tagged by: @headcanonsandmore 

@fuckitup-in-style,

@acciohermionejg

@iamskylorsaurus

@unusuallyzealousburgette

Gender: Both of us are girls.

Birthday: Zoe: March 28th. Alex: March 11th

Last movie seen: Zoe: Dunkirk Alex: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

What do you post/reblog: Zoe: A bunch of random crap. Alex: On this blog we post #relatable content. On my personal I just shitpost

Last thing you Googled: Zoe: “List of apex predators” Alex: “how do radiators know when to turn on”

Favorite blog: Zoe: No idea. Alex: @myendlessparade has some dank content ;)

Dream job: Zoe: Writer/ youtuber but I’m bad at both Alex: YouTuber or a paid/professional internet content creator

Dream trip: Zoe: I don’t know, I haven’t been to Japan before, I guess Alex: I really want to go to Germany but, I’d love to go anywhere in Europe. Or anywhere outside the US. Or anywhere really.

What would be your first entry in a new diary: Zoe: I don’t diary Alex: Probably something really random, a random thought perhaps. All of my past journals are filled with weird shit like “Tap Dancing Cat Play” with zero context

Top 3 things you love about yourself: Zoe: Why is this so hard? Can I say things I love about Alex instead? 1) She’s smart and funny and a great person to be around. 2) She’s creative and works so hard on the things she’s passionate about. 3) She’s supportive and understanding and all around a great friend. Alex: d’awwwww <3 turning the tables now - here are three reasons I love Zoe: 1. She’s a very accepting, patient and understanding friend. 2. She’s full of good ideas and the reason we started this blog. Also partly convinced me to pursue YouTube seriously (speaking of we need to do something about the gaming channel) 3. She has a very dark and dry humor, we can talk and laugh for hours

3 things you wish you knew how to do: Zoe: 1) Drive stick, 2) speak a different language (I’ve tried, I’m really bad at it), 3) manage my finances Alex: 1. Make gifs, 2. play an instrument, 3. drive??!?

Something you wish you had discovered/invented first: Zoe: I honestly don’t know. Alex: I asked Jake what to say and he said “submarines.” So I guess submarines

3 qualities you like in a person: Zoe: 1) their sense of humor, 2) intelligence, 3) creativity Alex: 1. taste in media, 2. humor, 3. uniqueness

3 qualities you dislike in a person: Zoe: 1) Cockiness, 2) overly defensive, 3) when someone talks over someone else and especially when they don’t stop and listen when the first person tries to keep talking Alex: 1. Selfishness, 2. carelessness, 3. when they walk slowly in front of me

Favorite planet: Zoe: I guess technically Earth because I live here, but viva la Pluto! Alex: Mars! Mars has such a vast history for such a barren planet.

A resolution you make every year: Zoe: I don’t make resolutions. Alex: I don’t really make resolutions but, I try to be less hard on myself each year

Something you’re better at than most people: Zoe: Um... writing? Alex: Video editing

Something you’re worse at than most people: Zoe: Talking to other people. Alex: Making friends

Favorite thing about tumblr: Zoe: Memes? Alex: MEMES and cute animal pictures

Least favourite thing about tumblr: Zoe: The entire way that this site is set up is like someone threw darts at a board and went “so this goes here, and uh, I guess that’s how we do this...” Alex: Dear god, this website is designed poorly for blog runners! There is no clear way to sort notifications, you either get them all or none at all. Also there have been times when a queued post just doesn’t post or tags just delete themselves while you’re typing them.

Weapon of choice: Zoe: Knives or a bow and arrow (I’m actually quite good at archery) Alex: Uh, none...

Something not many people know about you:  Zoe: I was going to be in a production with my dad trying to break the world record of most roller coasters ridden in a day, but the plans everything fell through about midway through, so it never happened. Alex: In middle school I used wear one ankle sock and one knee high because...fashion...?

Favorite means of transport: Zoe: I like driving, but if I’m going into the city, I’m taking the train. Alex: God, I hate all means of transportation. It’s all bad. Let’s just learn how to teleport already

Favorite story: Zoe: Harry Potter Alex: A New Hope

Chicken or egg: Zoe: Dinosaur Alex: I was going to say chicken but, Zoe’s answer is the really the best one

Something that always makes you laugh: Zoe: Cats. Alex: When Zelda yells around the apartment at her toys

What is the strangest thing about you: Zoe: You should see some of the texts I send Alex. Alex: just who I am as a person

You get to switch places with someone for a day, who is it and why: Zoe: Can I switch places with my cat? Alex: I’m stealing Zoe’s answer. Fuck yeah! I’d love to be Zelda for a day!

Name: Zoe Alex

Nicknames: Zoe: None Alex: Weasel

Height: Zoe: 5′7″ Alex: 5′3″

Orientation: Zoe: Hell if I know Alex: straight

Nationality: Zoe: I’m a US and UK citizen. Alex: ‘murican

Favorite Fruit: Zoe: Banana? Alex: Oranges

Favorite Season: Zoe: Fall Alex: Fall

Favorite Flower: Zoe: Roses Alex: Blue Roses! (only people from high school will get this joke and none them follow me....)

Favorite Scents: Zoe: Burning wood Alex: Most any candle

Favorite Color: Zoe: Purple Alex: Purple

Favorite Animals: Zoe: Cheetah, wolves, sea pancake Alex: Zelda!

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: Zoe: Depends on my mood Alex: All of the above, please

Average Sleep Hours: Zoe: 6 Alex: 8?

Dog or Cat Person: Zoe: Both Alex: Love both but, I really like cats

Favorite Fictional Characters: Zoe: Oh god, Aragorn, Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Gandalf, don’t make me choose, I could keep going. Alex: Han Solo, The Master, Mac, Michael Scott, Squidward (??), I don’t know man!

Number of Blankets You Sleep with: Zoe: Anywhere between 1 and 4 Alex: Normally one but, if it’s real cold, two or more

Blog Created: Zoe: This blog was created a little over a year ago, my personal blog was created something like nine years ago I think. Alex: Mine was made like 6 years ago?

Number of Followers: 48,100

Random fact: Zoe: When people are hanged, they die from lack of blood flow to the brain. Alex: Most female cats are right pawed

Star sign: Zoe: Aries Alex: Pisces

Hogwarts House: Take a guess

Why I made this account: Zoe: I made the account because I wanted something to do, and then I invited Alex to be a part of it with me. Alex: What she said ^

Reason for url: Alliteration is cool?

My favorite writer: Zoe: It changes all the time. Alex: Dr. Seuss

My favorite book: Zoe: Harry Potter? Alex: I have no clue?

My favorite movie: Zoe: Lord of the Rings Alex: Oh dear, I don’t know... Ed Wood (1994) ?

Time: Zoe: 15:46 Alex: 9:58pm

Favourite bands: Zoe: Queen, The Who, FOB, Muse, a lot. Alex: Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Panic! at the Disco

Favourite solo artists: Zoe: No clue Alex: Uh none? I don’t really listen to music besides the three bands listed and movie soundtracks

Song stuck in my head: Zoe: Right now, it’s “I’m Only Joking” by Kongos Alex: “Champion” by Fall Out Boy

Last show I watched: Zoe: NCIS Alex: I don’t really know. It’s between The Punisher, Black Mirror and Peep Show. I watch so many things I forget when I last watched it

Do I get asks: Zoe: Not really. Alex: We get asks here pretty often. I never get any personally - except spam

Lucky number: Zoe: 13 Alex: 3

Instruments: Zoe: I played the clarinet ages ago, and I sorta learned Violin for a little bit, but if you asked me to play any instrument now, I’d probably suck. Alex: I am not talented enough

What I am wearing: Zoe: Plaid and leggings. Alex: Grey and black sweater, leggings and draped in a blanket 

Favourite food: Zoe: I want pancakes right now, so let’s go with that? Alex: I’m so bad at picking favorite things! I just love food!

Last book I read: Zoe: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (it’s tradition for me to reread all the novels every year, and I was late last year, so I only just finished it in time) Alex: The Disaster Artist

3 favorite fandoms: Zoe: Oh, god... Harry Potter, LotR, and i guess certain youtubers? Alex: uh, that changes depending on how I’m feeling. Right now, probably, Star Wars, YouTube and something else?

[gaysweaters]

takk ♥

..so all the sentimentality going around right now is really rubbing off on me haha. i have a lot to be thankful for in this fandom, and while i wish i could make a proper post with a nice edit, i’m currently on holiday and unfortunately haven’t even had the time to really mourn skam. however, in this last week of the show i’ve really started to think about everything i have to be grateful for - from the people who introduced me to it, to the ones i’ve met along the way, and everything in between. 

so for anyone who doesn’t know, i run a YT channel (xLiesForALiar) where i upload fanvideos and i want this post to be a sort of collective thanks to my YT and tumblr skamily. 

tusen takk...

@iironandwine - of course i have to start here. you are, after all, the reason i started this show. i still remember the first evak video you sent me. i remember being skeptical about the show and needing convincing on your part. i remember emoting to you about the show at 2 am when you weren’t even awake to respond on so many occasions. i remember our collective freak outs after every update during season 3, our sometimes-active-sometimes-not group chat with xhes, our shared talent of shipping evak to literally every song that exists, whether the lyrics actually fit or not. my skam experience does not feel like an individual one, it really has felt, from day one, this shared experience between you and i and that’s always how i am going to remember it.

@red-jamie - when i think back to the wonderful people i’ve met through skam, you’re the first that comes to mind. i remember first gushing to you about your videos on here, and i’m so happy since then that we’ve been able to connect through our love for this show, through our love of vidding, and so much more (*dogs*). it hasn’t taken very long for you to become a real important friend to me, and to think, if it wasn’t for skam, none of that would have happened.

@mermaidfalch - i don’t even remember how we first got talking (i probably messaged you all super upfront like i do) but i’m so glad we did. you know that your first evak video was one of the first i’d watched (i still miss it!). it’s been wonderful getting to know you since and i’ve enjoyed our skam discussions, even if a majority of them were basically us complaining about season 4 haha <3

@xionin - thank you for always @ing me, for your unconditional support of my videos since, what feels day one, for the shoutout in that lovely article you wrote a while back, and for just generally being a wonderful human being.

@monstermonstre - thank you for not only just being a wonderful presence on my dash between your insightful opinions and metas and your livestreams and everything you have contributed to this fandom in general, but for your constant support and personal messages. i cannot stress enough how much it has meant to me and i’m glad we’ve gotten to talk a bit about music/film as well! (i hope to continue having those sorts of conversations).

@undeniablechemistry - i have told you this a thousand times but your comments on YT are some of my absolute favorites and i always look forward to your feedback. we haven’t talked about skam a ton, but still, i am glad we’ve gotten to know each other a bit in the past few months.

@cynicalromanticfangirl - i’m gonna basically say to you what i just said to catherine... thank you for such lovely comments on my skam videos. i’m a broken record, i know, but i’m always blown away by how much thought and care is put into what you have to say. it’s a rare gift to receive that kind of feedback. i hope we get to know each other better. :)

@spikettes - thank you for your endless support as well! and for blessing this fandom with your own talent. i hope we get to talk more. <3

@akhelia - thank you for your YT comments, for blessing this fandom with your own vids, and for being patient with my slow ass when it comes to tumblr replies. you seem like such a lovely person and i hope we continue talking!

@sappyharry - i know we haven’t talked as much lately but thank you for initially messaging me here on tumblr and i’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other a bit since! <3

@scinnlaece - hey girl, thanks first for inspiring the manifestation of briony & i’s evak collab, and in general for your lovely replies on twitter. also for your beautiful art and gifs! <3

@that-life-is-now - hey love, thank you for being so sweet on YT all the time and for always being so creative with your own work! i always look forward to what crazy new au you’ll come up with next. <3

i also want to give a quick shoutout to a few more blogs...some of you i’ve admired from afar, some of you have sent me personal messages about my videos and/or have consistently reblogged new uploads and commented nice things in tags (i read it all ya’ll), and some of you, i’ve just really enjoyed your contribution to my dash and want you to know!

@tangledincurls, @parallelevak, @isakvalty, @toneelspeler, @chickenparmaskam, @tiptopevak, @softnorwegians, @cuddly-isak, @sanas4main, @kardemomme-kisses, @folerdetdufoler, @kjaereisak, @mizzwilde, @reasoniwantyoutostay, @jamesnorton, @vscoevak, @kobyashimaru, @judestfrncis.

AND LASTLY THANK YOU TO ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO HAVE MESSAGED ME ANONYMOUSLY. 

damn, okay i think that about covers it. i really hope i didn’t miss anyone! (if i did i am so sorry and please do not hesitate to message me, i’ll fix it). thank you all so much again, you’ve all played a part in making my skam experience something to cherish for a long time. <3 takk for alt!

[laurendzim]

What about a blobfish? Colorado author Jason Gruhl believes small humans can think big.

The children’s book “Everything Is Connected” doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to blobfish. They’re slimy, stinky, scaly and about as loathsome as an animal might get.

And yet, as the book points out, they just happen to be our cosmic cousins, sharing our universe — our water, air and resources — alongside our brothers and sisters, our pets, parents, trees, the sky and even other planets. Understanding the scheme of all things is just a matter of looking around, taking stock, seeing your own place among all the atoms that surround you.

Can kids do that?

Author Jason Gruhl thinks so. So does his publisher, Boulder-based — and Buddhism-inspired — Shambhala, which sells books the world over by such deep thinkers as the Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard and Pema Chödrön. “Everything Is Connected” is the debut offering from its new imprint, Bala Kids, the 50-year-old company’s first official move into the children’s market.

Mindfulness might seem like a big concept for young readers, especially the ones who can’t yet see the big-picture benefits of eating their vegetables or pushing pause on video games to do their homework. But “we feel like children can get adult stuff,” said Ivan Bercholz, who heads up the family-owned publishing house with his sister, Sara Bercholz. Shambhala books are distributed through Penguin Random House.

“Everything Is Connected,” which is illustrated by Barcelona artist Ignasi Font, gives children a logical path to junior enlightenment. It starts out small by reminding kids of their own physicality, linking them to their “hands and eyeballs, teeth and toes,” then moves them outward to things like “buildings and bicycles, buses and balloons,” then eventually into outer space.

The journey isn’t limited to the world that can be seen and touched. There are connections to the past and to the future and to spirituality, to “Jesus and Buddha, Muhammad and Moses,” and, because nearly everything rhymes in the book, to “spaceships and aliens with noses like hoses.”

Noses like hoses? I asked Gruhl, who is also a veteran family therapist and educational consultant, to explain how his ideas came together.

Note: This interview has been edited for length, cohesiveness and clarity.

RJ Sangosti, The Denver Post

Denver author Jason Gruhl, center, reads his new book, “Everything Is Connected” at the Tattered Cover on Colfax on April 2, 2019 in Denver. Gruhl’s book was published by Shambala books out of Boulder.

Q. I sometimes think kids, like dogs, in a way, are only aware of “the now.” This asks them to think bigger, no?

A. Ha! I hate to admit that I often compare the two, but I also aspire to be more like kids and dogs, so hopefully that takes the edge off that comparison.

I think it’s true. And it’s beautiful. As adults, we get conditioned by our parents, schools, society, religions, etc., and we forget to check in with our own experience, to be in the moment, and to let that guide us. Kids — and dogs — do this effortlessly until we condition it out of kids.

Q. Who did you write this book for?

A. In general, I always write for kids between the ages of seven and nine  — third grade-ish. This is the time when their minds are starting to explode with questions, observations and insights, but most of them are still willing to give their parents a hug.

Q. Still, this is a big concept for young minds.

A. It is a big concept but I actually think it’s a more difficult concept for adult minds. Understanding connection on this level actually requires you to settle into your intuition. Kids have a natural and organic relationship to intuition that I think allows them to see and feel the possibility of what this book is proposing more easily.

Q. Why rhyme?

A. You know, people have a love-hate relationship with rhyme. You can’t even use rhyme these days without someone comparing you to Dr. Seuss. But rhyme is a really timeless and engaging format. I think it sticks in people’s minds — I want people to remember what’s being said. I like the challenge of it as a writer, and I think when you break rhyme in a rhyming book, it can really be a powerful moment for the reader to take in what’s going on.

Q. What is your personal framework that helped you write this book?

A. I’m trying to help kids, and adults, remember their wholeness, and feel at home in their own skin. It’s not just a catchy phrase — our bodies, minds and spirits really are connected and how well we attend to each of these in ourselves has an effect on the rest of the world. In my past work with children with autism and developmental disabilities, it became really obvious that health, mental challenge, social and personal fulfillment and compassion — being accepted and celebrated for exactly who we are — were critical for growth and for new ways of moving forward.

Q. What kind of kid is this book good for?

A. Life hands us a lot of curveballs, from birth to death, and there are times in our lives when we are not able to hear something that we could easily hear later. So while I think this concept is something that helps everyone in some way or another, I think this book is for any kid who feels isolated or alone at times. It’s for kids with scientific minds who want to begin to contemplate the “how” of connection. And it’s for kids who have a really open and soft heart. I’ve always had one of those, and I think this book gives you somewhere to direct that.

Q. What do you hope it will do for kids?

A. The last thing this world needs is one more prescription for how things should be done. I hope the book gets kids thinking about how everything is connected, and what that would actually mean if they are. And from there, that there are a million unique ways of being in this world, and that whatever they’ve got to contribute is something we need.

Q. Is it hard to write a book for young readers?

A. The ideas are never hard. I often imagine the world I want to be living in, or things that I wish I had known sooner, and then just go to work writing something that would be engaging and fun to read. I have a lot of respect for children and I also try to speak to them from a place of intelligence. Kids can handle way more than we give them credit for, and we have to trust them enough to speak clearly and candidly with them.

Q. Did it take long to write?

A. Almost three years to the day from my first word on the page to publishing date. It started in Chattanooga, Tennessee,  while I was meditating with an incredible group of women out there. But it really became what it is after a class and critique group at Lighthouse Writers here in Denver. I worked on it a lot while traveling as well, so it was fine-tuned in Barcelona and Morocco, and finally polished by my patient editor, Juree Sondker.

Q. How did you hook up with Ignasi Font? He lives in Barcelona.

A. Instagram is the most powerful digital platform we have today for connecting with creatives. Countless artists post their talent, vision and passion. I found Ignasi there, invited him to collaborate, and the next thing I knew we were on our way.

Q. Anything to add?

A. To be Shambhala Publications’ (Bala Kids) first children’s book after 50 years of sharing and creating some of the legends of spiritual texts is a massive honor, and to have Shambhala Publications right here in our own backyard is a gift. As a Colorado author, it is exciting to be part of this groundbreaking, independent publishing house. Colorado truly is on the forefront of preserving and evolving the history of what we read and how we use it to understand ourselves and others, and to change the world.

from News And Updates https://www.denverpost.com/2019/04/09/jason-gruhl-childrens-book/

[jackdoakstx]

What about a blobfish? Colorado author Jason Gruhl believes small humans can think big.

The children’s book “Everything Is Connected” doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to blobfish. They’re slimy, stinky, scaly and about as loathsome as an animal might get.

And yet, as the book points out, they just happen to be our cosmic cousins, sharing our universe — our water, air and resources — alongside our brothers and sisters, our pets, parents, trees, the sky and even other planets. Understanding the scheme of all things is just a matter of looking around, taking stock, seeing your own place among all the atoms that surround you.

Can kids do that?

Author Jason Gruhl thinks so. So does his publisher, Boulder-based — and Buddhism-inspired — Shambhala, which sells books the world over by such deep thinkers as the Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard and Pema Chödrön. “Everything Is Connected” is the debut offering from its new imprint, Bala Kids, the 50-year-old company’s first official move into the children’s market.

Mindfulness might seem like a big concept for young readers, especially the ones who can’t yet see the big-picture benefits of eating their vegetables or pushing pause on video games to do their homework. But “we feel like children can get adult stuff,” said Ivan Bercholz, who heads up the family-owned publishing house with his sister, Sara Bercholz. Shambhala books are distributed through Penguin Random House.

“Everything Is Connected,” which is illustrated by Barcelona artist Ignasi Font, gives children a logical path to junior enlightenment. It starts out small by reminding kids of their own physicality, linking them to their “hands and eyeballs, teeth and toes,” then moves them outward to things like “buildings and bicycles, buses and balloons,” then eventually into outer space.

The journey isn’t limited to the world that can be seen and touched. There are connections to the past and to the future and to spirituality, to “Jesus and Buddha, Muhammad and Moses,” and, because nearly everything rhymes in the book, to “spaceships and aliens with noses like hoses.”

Noses like hoses? I asked Gruhl, who is also a veteran family therapist and educational consultant, to explain how his ideas came together.

Note: This interview has been edited for length, cohesiveness and clarity.

RJ Sangosti, The Denver Post

Denver author Jason Gruhl, center, reads his new book, “Everything Is Connected” at the Tattered Cover on Colfax on April 2, 2019 in Denver. Gruhl’s book was published by Shambala books out of Boulder.

Q. I sometimes think kids, like dogs, in a way, are only aware of “the now.” This asks them to think bigger, no?

A. Ha! I hate to admit that I often compare the two, but I also aspire to be more like kids and dogs, so hopefully that takes the edge off that comparison.

I think it’s true. And it’s beautiful. As adults, we get conditioned by our parents, schools, society, religions, etc., and we forget to check in with our own experience, to be in the moment, and to let that guide us. Kids — and dogs — do this effortlessly until we condition it out of kids.

Q. Who did you write this book for?

A. In general, I always write for kids between the ages of seven and nine  — third grade-ish. This is the time when their minds are starting to explode with questions, observations and insights, but most of them are still willing to give their parents a hug.

Q. Still, this is a big concept for young minds.

A. It is a big concept but I actually think it’s a more difficult concept for adult minds. Understanding connection on this level actually requires you to settle into your intuition. Kids have a natural and organic relationship to intuition that I think allows them to see and feel the possibility of what this book is proposing more easily.

Q. Why rhyme?

A. You know, people have a love-hate relationship with rhyme. You can’t even use rhyme these days without someone comparing you to Dr. Seuss. But rhyme is a really timeless and engaging format. I think it sticks in people’s minds — I want people to remember what’s being said. I like the challenge of it as a writer, and I think when you break rhyme in a rhyming book, it can really be a powerful moment for the reader to take in what’s going on.

Q. What is your personal framework that helped you write this book?

A. I’m trying to help kids, and adults, remember their wholeness, and feel at home in their own skin. It’s not just a catchy phrase — our bodies, minds and spirits really are connected and how well we attend to each of these in ourselves has an effect on the rest of the world. In my past work with children with autism and developmental disabilities, it became really obvious that health, mental challenge, social and personal fulfillment and compassion — being accepted and celebrated for exactly who we are — were critical for growth and for new ways of moving forward.

Q. What kind of kid is this book good for?

A. Life hands us a lot of curveballs, from birth to death, and there are times in our lives when we are not able to hear something that we could easily hear later. So while I think this concept is something that helps everyone in some way or another, I think this book is for any kid who feels isolated or alone at times. It’s for kids with scientific minds who want to begin to contemplate the “how” of connection. And it’s for kids who have a really open and soft heart. I’ve always had one of those, and I think this book gives you somewhere to direct that.

Q. What do you hope it will do for kids?

A. The last thing this world needs is one more prescription for how things should be done. I hope the book gets kids thinking about how everything is connected, and what that would actually mean if they are. And from there, that there are a million unique ways of being in this world, and that whatever they’ve got to contribute is something we need.

Q. Is it hard to write a book for young readers?

A. The ideas are never hard. I often imagine the world I want to be living in, or things that I wish I had known sooner, and then just go to work writing something that would be engaging and fun to read. I have a lot of respect for children and I also try to speak to them from a place of intelligence. Kids can handle way more than we give them credit for, and we have to trust them enough to speak clearly and candidly with them.

Q. Did it take long to write?

A. Almost three years to the day from my first word on the page to publishing date. It started in Chattanooga, Tennessee,  while I was meditating with an incredible group of women out there. But it really became what it is after a class and critique group at Lighthouse Writers here in Denver. I worked on it a lot while traveling as well, so it was fine-tuned in Barcelona and Morocco, and finally polished by my patient editor, Juree Sondker.

Q. How did you hook up with Ignasi Font? He lives in Barcelona.

A. Instagram is the most powerful digital platform we have today for connecting with creatives. Countless artists post their talent, vision and passion. I found Ignasi there, invited him to collaborate, and the next thing I knew we were on our way.

Q. Anything to add?

A. To be Shambhala Publications’ (Bala Kids) first children’s book after 50 years of sharing and creating some of the legends of spiritual texts is a massive honor, and to have Shambhala Publications right here in our own backyard is a gift. As a Colorado author, it is exciting to be part of this groundbreaking, independent publishing house. Colorado truly is on the forefront of preserving and evolving the history of what we read and how we use it to understand ourselves and others, and to change the world.

from News And Updates https://www.denverpost.com/2019/04/09/jason-gruhl-childrens-book/

[janetoconnerfl]

What about a blobfish? Colorado author Jason Gruhl believes small humans can think big.

The children’s book “Everything Is Connected” doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to blobfish. They’re slimy, stinky, scaly and about as loathsome as an animal might get.

And yet, as the book points out, they just happen to be our cosmic cousins, sharing our universe — our water, air and resources — alongside our brothers and sisters, our pets, parents, trees, the sky and even other planets. Understanding the scheme of all things is just a matter of looking around, taking stock, seeing your own place among all the atoms that surround you.

Can kids do that?

Author Jason Gruhl thinks so. So does his publisher, Boulder-based — and Buddhism-inspired — Shambhala, which sells books the world over by such deep thinkers as the Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard and Pema Chödrön. “Everything Is Connected” is the debut offering from its new imprint, Bala Kids, the 50-year-old company’s first official move into the children’s market.

Mindfulness might seem like a big concept for young readers, especially the ones who can’t yet see the big-picture benefits of eating their vegetables or pushing pause on video games to do their homework. But “we feel like children can get adult stuff,” said Ivan Bercholz, who heads up the family-owned publishing house with his sister, Sara Bercholz. Shambhala books are distributed through Penguin Random House.

“Everything Is Connected,” which is illustrated by Barcelona artist Ignasi Font, gives children a logical path to junior enlightenment. It starts out small by reminding kids of their own physicality, linking them to their “hands and eyeballs, teeth and toes,” then moves them outward to things like “buildings and bicycles, buses and balloons,” then eventually into outer space.

The journey isn’t limited to the world that can be seen and touched. There are connections to the past and to the future and to spirituality, to “Jesus and Buddha, Muhammad and Moses,” and, because nearly everything rhymes in the book, to “spaceships and aliens with noses like hoses.”

Noses like hoses? I asked Gruhl, who is also a veteran family therapist and educational consultant, to explain how his ideas came together.

Note: This interview has been edited for length, cohesiveness and clarity.

RJ Sangosti, The Denver Post

Denver author Jason Gruhl, center, reads his new book, “Everything Is Connected” at the Tattered Cover on Colfax on April 2, 2019 in Denver. Gruhl’s book was published by Shambala books out of Boulder.

Q. I sometimes think kids, like dogs, in a way, are only aware of “the now.” This asks them to think bigger, no?

A. Ha! I hate to admit that I often compare the two, but I also aspire to be more like kids and dogs, so hopefully that takes the edge off that comparison.

I think it’s true. And it’s beautiful. As adults, we get conditioned by our parents, schools, society, religions, etc., and we forget to check in with our own experience, to be in the moment, and to let that guide us. Kids — and dogs — do this effortlessly until we condition it out of kids.

Q. Who did you write this book for?

A. In general, I always write for kids between the ages of seven and nine  — third grade-ish. This is the time when their minds are starting to explode with questions, observations and insights, but most of them are still willing to give their parents a hug.

Q. Still, this is a big concept for young minds.

A. It is a big concept but I actually think it’s a more difficult concept for adult minds. Understanding connection on this level actually requires you to settle into your intuition. Kids have a natural and organic relationship to intuition that I think allows them to see and feel the possibility of what this book is proposing more easily.

Q. Why rhyme?

A. You know, people have a love-hate relationship with rhyme. You can’t even use rhyme these days without someone comparing you to Dr. Seuss. But rhyme is a really timeless and engaging format. I think it sticks in people’s minds — I want people to remember what’s being said. I like the challenge of it as a writer, and I think when you break rhyme in a rhyming book, it can really be a powerful moment for the reader to take in what’s going on.

Q. What is your personal framework that helped you write this book?

A. I’m trying to help kids, and adults, remember their wholeness, and feel at home in their own skin. It’s not just a catchy phrase — our bodies, minds and spirits really are connected and how well we attend to each of these in ourselves has an effect on the rest of the world. In my past work with children with autism and developmental disabilities, it became really obvious that health, mental challenge, social and personal fulfillment and compassion — being accepted and celebrated for exactly who we are — were critical for growth and for new ways of moving forward.

Q. What kind of kid is this book good for?

A. Life hands us a lot of curveballs, from birth to death, and there are times in our lives when we are not able to hear something that we could easily hear later. So while I think this concept is something that helps everyone in some way or another, I think this book is for any kid who feels isolated or alone at times. It’s for kids with scientific minds who want to begin to contemplate the “how” of connection. And it’s for kids who have a really open and soft heart. I’ve always had one of those, and I think this book gives you somewhere to direct that.

Q. What do you hope it will do for kids?

A. The last thing this world needs is one more prescription for how things should be done. I hope the book gets kids thinking about how everything is connected, and what that would actually mean if they are. And from there, that there are a million unique ways of being in this world, and that whatever they’ve got to contribute is something we need.

Q. Is it hard to write a book for young readers?

A. The ideas are never hard. I often imagine the world I want to be living in, or things that I wish I had known sooner, and then just go to work writing something that would be engaging and fun to read. I have a lot of respect for children and I also try to speak to them from a place of intelligence. Kids can handle way more than we give them credit for, and we have to trust them enough to speak clearly and candidly with them.

Q. Did it take long to write?

A. Almost three years to the day from my first word on the page to publishing date. It started in Chattanooga, Tennessee,  while I was meditating with an incredible group of women out there. But it really became what it is after a class and critique group at Lighthouse Writers here in Denver. I worked on it a lot while traveling as well, so it was fine-tuned in Barcelona and Morocco, and finally polished by my patient editor, Juree Sondker.

Q. How did you hook up with Ignasi Font? He lives in Barcelona.

A. Instagram is the most powerful digital platform we have today for connecting with creatives. Countless artists post their talent, vision and passion. I found Ignasi there, invited him to collaborate, and the next thing I knew we were on our way.

Q. Anything to add?

A. To be Shambhala Publications’ (Bala Kids) first children’s book after 50 years of sharing and creating some of the legends of spiritual texts is a massive honor, and to have Shambhala Publications right here in our own backyard is a gift. As a Colorado author, it is exciting to be part of this groundbreaking, independent publishing house. Colorado truly is on the forefront of preserving and evolving the history of what we read and how we use it to understand ourselves and others, and to change the world.

from Latest Information https://www.denverpost.com/2019/04/09/jason-gruhl-childrens-book/

[kalelblogdanove]

What It Takes To Be A Voice Actor REDUX

In 2015 I wrote a blog about what it takes to be a successful voice actor. I have since come to feel that I was perhaps a little too discouraging in tone. There are plenty of voices in the world to say “no” to your dreams. I don’t wish to be one of them. So here is my previous article on the matter, re-released and annotated to reflect my current thinking.

Old essay in plain text or bold. New thoughts struck throughstruck through and replaced with italics.

 I’m going to offer two kinds of advice. First I will touch on passion, work ethic and other similarly rarefied intangibles—the habits and the mentality required to succeed. Only then will I move on to some nuts-and-bolts advice—the stuff you can take to the bank… or the booth, as the case may be.

A few caveats:

I am not a voice actor.

I have directed many wonderful voice actors. I know a lot about what “the biz” is looking for, and I know what I myself am looking for in a good voice actor. But I have done very little professional acting.

This is art, not science.

This is an art form, and like any art form it is squishy. There are no hard-and-fast rules, just guidelines, and the guidelines are riddled with exceptions. Like…keeping your eyes open is a basic rule of effective stand-up comedy, right? Well, tell that to Gilbert Gottfried or Mitch Hedburg. The same goes for VO—a certain amount of wiggle room is inherent.

Some people might disagree with me.

That’s okay! My opinion is subjective, and the industry is always in flux. There are lots of different opinions out there, and if you are a professional and you have one, please send it to me so I can make it available here, and incorporate it into my own understanding.

There is no magic bullet.

It is not a 1+1=you’rethenextNolanNorth scenario. You can follow all these guidelines and still find yourself working at The Cheesecake Factory for years. There is no shame in that. A big ingredient to success is luck. The other major ingredient is persistence and that brings me to…

Part 1: This Is A Very Hard Job To Get

Before you decide to become a voice actor it is essential that you have an understanding of what it will take to break in.

You must love it enough to spend as many as five years breaking in, working other jobs, spending money on classes and demos, and being relentlessly hardworking and self-improving, without landing a single gig. Some people waltz right in. Others have to batter down brick walls. You must be prepared to do the latter. If you are not, do yourself a favor and pick a different career.

Kal 2017: Actually, try this career. ALWAYS try to follow your dreams. You and you alone will know if you’ve had enough and want to do something else. Might take a month, might take five years, might be never. Pick the career you love, don’t let anyone tell you not to.

Let’s revisit those words “relentlessly hardworking and self-improving.”

Throughout your career, but particularly when you are breaking in, you will be competing against the very best actors in the world. You might be talented to begin with, but that is not enough. You MUST MUST MUST push yourself to be better, ALWAYS. I guarantee that your competition will.

Kal 2017: This remains true, but I temper it by saying do not worry if you are not the best to start with. Skills can be built over time. The most important thing is that you have a fun and happy life doing something you enjoy. You can actually hear the sound of stress in a performance, and it’s not a good sound. Try to relax and have fun!

This means acknowledging early-on that you always have something to learn, and then being proactive about learning it. Read books, and take classes.

TAKE CLASSES!

Take voice acting classes, take stage acting classes, take directing classes, take breath work, take improv, take puppetry, take singing lessons. If you can, take an animation class or two. Since you’re going into audio, you might try to learn a bit about audio engineering/editing.

Kal 2017: Side note on this last idea. It is a great idea, if you are moving to Hollywood to do something fun and crazy, to pick up a production/postproduction skill like film/video editing, audio engineering/mixing/mastering, AfterEffects/graphics etc. These disciplines are a great and generally flexibly scheduled way to make a good living while you try to break into the job you’re passionate about.

Why? Because people love to shoot and record, but hate to edit/do post. Post work is an art, but it is also a trade, like plumbing—labor that HAS to get done before anything can be released. If you can get good and fast at this, and you don’t mind spending hours working on reality TV, web content, and infomercials, you can make some sweet bank. You’ll often be your own boss, and even when you’re not, postproduction people tend to be the most chill. Plus you’ll likely make some great contacts within your chosen field as well.

For instance, you can work at a recording studio, and meet voice actors, directors, and producers who have already broken in. If you do an awesome job with a good attitude, and help them be successful in their endeavors, they will be predisposed to say “yes” down the road when you ask for that audition, that recommendation to an agent, that free coaching session.

Believe me, anything and everything related to performance or art will be valuable, even if it is not VO-based.

I want to give a particular shout out to Shakespearean acting techniques, particularly those pioneered by Kristen Linklater. Almost all the best actors I have known have a serious grounding in that material.

Kal 2017: This is a great time to recommend some LA coaches who are awesome. I really like:

Bill Holmes @vodoctor

Andrea Romano

Kalmenson & Kalmenson @kalmenson

The Voice Actor’s Network with Hope Levy @hopelevysings

JB Blanc @thejbblanc  — Side note about this one. In addition to being a fantabulous actor, director, and coach, JB is also one of the leading experts on dialects. If you are international and looking to lose your accent, JB is the guy. If you are looking to acquire an accent for a role, JB is the guy.

And of course, me @kalelbogdanove

I’ll try to update with some reliable classes/coaches in other cities.

Also, remember to take movement classes like dance or martial arts. I know it sounds odd, since you will not be physically seen by anyone, but having an understanding of your body’s kinesthetics will improve your work.

Brian T. Delaney (Male Soul Survivor in Fallout 4) isn’t just one of the most physical voice actors I know, he is one of the most physical actors I know, full-stop. This does two things for him. First, it gives him technical control in the booth—he almost never goes off-mic, or hits the stand, or rustles his clothing (which is astonishing, given how much he moves around). Second, it invests all his game work with a sense of space and a sense of place—a layer and texture of reality that could not sound less like a guy reading a line—and his combat work in particular with a breathtaking degree of authenticity.

In short… learn how to move.

“BUT I’M ALREADY AWESOME,” you say.

Or, “I’ve already done a little voice work,” or some other excuse. Doesn’t matter. All the best working voice actors take classes constantly. They do not rest on their laurels. The best directors take classes too, including me. (He said with pompous implications.)

If you can’t afford classes, form a group of like-minded actors and practice together regularly. Watch videos on YouTube. Make your continuing education a priority.

The great thing is, these classes are FUN! You’ll meet like-minded artists! You’ll make great projects! You’ll feel impressive and confident as your abilities grow and grow!  Hell, you might get laid.

The point is that while the waiting and the day jobs are can be grueling, the work itself is fun. And if you don’t find it fun… do yourself a favor and pick a different career.

Kal 2017: Again, you’ll know. It’s okay to have a bad class/day/week/month. Stick to it! You can do it! Remain open and willing to grow, and you will likely succeed.

Part 2: This Is A Very Hard Job To Do

Voice over looks easy but it is VERY DIFFICULT—particularly in games. Take a moment and go on a journey of imagination with me:

Imagine four hours at a time in a booth that is as silent as The Surface of The Moon, unless the director has the talk-back open.

Imagine making seventy major emotional adjustments an hour. (By contrast, on-camera actors make between 2 and 10 per DAY.)

Imagine formulating a performance, delivering it, absorbing a note, reformulating, and redelivering in as little as 30 seconds.

Now imagine doing that 300-600 times in four hours.

This can be extremely tough. You must be able to clear as many as 150 lines an hour, with an average of 70. (Animation is closer to 20-30.) You must be a MUTHAFUCKIN’ BAWSE at cold-reading. (Better always to give a strong-but-wrong take right off the bat, than fiddle-fart around with broken half-takes.)

And line 600 has to be as strong and fresh as line 001.

Do not confuse fun and easy. This is a very fun job when it’s done right. It is ALWAYS very hard work. And if you’re not ready for hard work… do I have to say it again? You’re smart. I don’t. You get the idea.

Kal 2017: I really don’t. Even at its most difficult this is a pretty great job, one of the few remaining that is protected by a strong union. It is hard, but it is also a blast.

Part 3: A Great Voice Actor

I’ll keep this straightforward. A great voice actor is…

Punctual. Be on time. On time means 5-10 minutes early.

Friendly, but not unctuous. Don’t be a sourpuss, don’t climb in anyone’s lap.

Patient. Sometimes (rarely) writers and clients and producers will test your patience, or act outright rude. Try to be Zen. A good director will shield you from as much of this as possible.

CONFIDENT. I’m gonna repeat this—

CONFIDENT! Always give me a strong-but-wrong choice instead of a     hesitant garble. I cannot stress this enough. If you are second-guessing yourself, you are wasting everyone’s time undercutting your talent and hard work. Be kind to yourself by standing by your ability, and let the     director tell you if we need to adjust the performance.

A great listener. Redirect is gonna come at you thick and fast and you will have to pay close attention!

Dedicated. You may work on some dumb projects in your life. Doesn’t matter. You give every single stupid burger commercial your all. It is your job. Do not phone it in. Do not EVER EVER EVER show up drunk, high, or bored.

A strong reader. No two ways around this one. You have to pick stuff up off the page very rapidly. Kal 2017: Yes, okay, but also don’t be afraid to ask for the script in advance. Some won’t be willing to share it, but many simply assume you do not want it ahead of time. (Many voice actors don’t.) In that case they will be overjoyed to share it so you can rehearse. It never hurts to ask.

Not afraid to ask questions. If you don’t understand a line, or a piece of direction, just ASK ME ABOUT IT. Kal 2017: Please do this. Don’t be shy. We’re here to help YOU, so you can please THE CLIENT, which in turn makes US look good.

Excited to collaborate. You should bring ideas to the material. You should also be willing to totally chuck them and try something new in the spirit of exploration, even if you think it’s gonna be garbage.

Resilient. If you fuck up, just do another one. :) Kal 2017: This is related to confident. It’s okay to mess up. All the pros do. Don’t be embarrassed. Try not to get in your head. Just climb back on that horse.

Part 4: Upsides

There are a lot of upsides. As I said, it can be very fun work. More importantly, it can be very creatively satisfying.

It also pays well. Voice actors are one of the few lucky groups of American workers still protected by a strong union. Union minimums are in the ballpark of $800.00 for a four hour session. Voice actors work like Russian plow-horses, but thanks to SAG/AFTRA they are adequately recompensed for it.

Finally, voice acting is the one realm of acting where your age and your looks do not factor in too heavily. You can break into it fairly late in life, unlike on-camera acting where you essentially reach your expiration date at 30. Steve Blum, who is currently the toast of the VO town (you probably know him as Zeb Orelios in Star Wars Rebels or as Wolverine in just about everything) didn’t really get going in mainstream animation and games until middle age. He is not unique in that respect. It is never too late.

And, you can do it until you literally croak.

Part 5: Reel Etc.

So let’s say I haven’t scared you off. Let’s say you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no other job on earth that will satisfy you, and you are willing to walk barefoot across hot glass and mixed metaphors to be a voice actor.

What now?

Well, if you have been working very hard, and taking your classes and all that stuff I just spent an hour flapping my Tumblrgums about, then you might be ready to record a reel.

A reel is a short audio sample that showcases your best abilities and your best work.

Generally speaking most pro VO actors have:

An animation reel

A videogame reel

A commercial reel

Three separate reels with different material on them. If creature sounds are something they do, they might also also have a fourth creature noise reel.

A basic videogame reel should include:

The Leader—think Captain America, Superman, Princess Leia, Katniss Everdeen, and Jennifer Hale’s incomparable Fem Shep

The Rogue—think Han Solo, Black Widow, Tony Stark, Catwoman, and Marion Ravonwood

The Pale Rider—think Clint Eastwood, Batman, Ellen Ripley, Sarah Conner, Trinity

The weak protagonist — this is, like, an affable scientist with no combat skills — someone who could be endangered.

Strong crazy — this can range from a sinister psycho like The Joker, to a likeable loon like Crazy-Eyes — the key is unhinged/unpredictable.

Weak crazy — the person who saw their whole crew torn apart by demons and is a basket case — edge of sanity.

Strong antagonist sinister, rational — like Voldemort.

Strong antagonist tough, rational — more of a bully in a barfight, a “the fuck you lookin’ at?” kind.

Antagonist crazy/desperate — there’s some overlap here with the weak protag so be sure to differentiate them, or just do one or the other.

Add to this any accents you do REALLY well. Like, indistinguishable from the real thing. Not a Groundskeeper Willy Scottish accent — that belongs on an animation reel — just absolute realism. If you can’t nail these then leave ‘em out!

An animation reel is more of a laundry list of different character voices and characters you can do. The key is total consistency. Don’t add a voice or speech impediment or texture you can’t maintain for four hours at a time.

Commercial reels can play to your strengths type-wise but there’s a few standbys you hear all the time:

If you’re a dude, commercial requires (amongst other clichés)

smooth ad dude (introducing the all new Lexus Privilege RX with comfort ride technology)

excited ad dude (a triple-pounder, large fry and fountain drink for just 3.99? I’m lovin’ it!)

and befuddled husband/boyfriend/father (Honey? What’s this 'Greek yog hurt’? What happened to the double-choco chip?)

If you’re a dudette, you want

smooth ad dudette (again the Lexus)

sexy hamburger subtext (With large fries and gooey, melty cheese. She’s a little too into that sandwich, Man.)

and Motrin Momwife (So you can be the “on the PTA, on the town, side-planking, keeping up with your girlfriends gal” you want to be!)

Kal 2017: There is a recent trend in VO for commercials that I would be remiss if I did not mention. This is the “read that is so laid back and casual it is almost nonexistent.” Millenials know when they’re being solicited, so the ad industry has adopted a—in my opinion comically— disinterested tone. I call it “maybe you’d like a hamburger or whatever, I don’t care”. Here is the most extreme example I am aware of:

Facebook Live "Hidden Talent" from Buck on Vimeo.

It is bizarre from a traditional perspective, and it will go against the grain for anyone who grew up with this:

Nevertheless, it is here, and you should make sure you have it on your reel.

In all your reels:

NO MORE THAN A SENTENCE OR TWO FROM EACH VOICE. Target length of a whole reel should be around 90 SECONDS TOTAL. If they want more than that, they will ask you to record AN AUDITION, which is what you’re hoping they’ll do anyway. Do not go over in length. You will irritate casting directors who have 500 of these to go through. Kal 2017:     TRY not to go over in length, by more than one voice.😁

ONLY YOUR VERY BEST STUFF. When in doubt, leave it out. There are some actors in this business who can do a million voices, there are some who do JUST ONE THING THE BEST. Both kinds work. Better to kill it with three voices than to give them a reason NOT to hire you.

A GOOD MIX ON A GOOD MIC. You will probably have to go to a studio to record your reel. If you do, I recommend getting a voice director to work with you while you’re at it. This will cost money, but it is an investment. If you are the rare and enterprising voice actor who has a ton of equipment and is a sound engineer too, you might be able to do it yourself. Do not go too cheap on this, though. You don’t want great performance undercut by a bad mix.

One final thought:

MOVE TO LOS ANGELES. There is only one place to be if you are a serious professional in this business, and that is L.A. It is the biggest market, and the center of the industry. You might land a couple of radio spots living in East Anywhere, but you are not going to break into the industry proper.

That does not mean that you can’t TRAIN in other, cheaper places. But when you are ready to work, you come to L.A.

No, Austin and San Francisco aren’t just as good. No, your stage work in New York doesn’t count for anything out here. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.

The five year break-in period doesn’t begin until you live here. Sorry folks!

Part 6: Wrap-up

I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few things here, and I’ll try to fill in the gaps as they occur to me. Please feel free to tweet at me with any questions: @kalelbogdanove

In summary: if you LOVE voice acting, and you can’t imagine doing anything else on Earth, and you are willing to work your butt off to improve, AND you are willing to keep at it for YEARS… then go for it! I’ll see you in the booth.

Kal 2017: Or if you love it and you are willing to give it a whirl and follow your dreams. Always, always follow your dreams. (Just work hard at them, too.)

-Kal-El

P.S. — for a smart (and much shorter) perspective on this subject from an actual actor, you might try reading this Facebook post by industry luminary Tara Strong:

https://www.facebook.com/tara.strong.514/posts/10155956807350494