#i wish i liked him but i'm physically and emotionally incapable of it 💀
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psychoanalyzing myself to understand why i don't like gale all that much
#like. he's a good character he's well-written he's interesting he's even attractive#so why can't i fucking stand him gkdjfkdjdd#i think it's self-recognition through the other but (derogatory)#i think he echoes the image my bullies had of me back in school too much like. i was gale to them fkfjd#i was a nerdy know-it-all with no friends maybe a lot more introverted than gale but. yea#it's like. here's the embodiment of my worst self which wasn't even My self but the perception others had of myself#with traits i associate with 'you get called cringe for that' because of trauma and it makes my brain reject him gkdjdd#i don't want to dislike him fkfjjd dislike is a strong word anyway it's more like. mild. uh. idk if there's a right word#urge to shove him somewhere i can't see him ??? feeling like i wouldn't invite him to my birthday party#i wish i liked him but i'm physically and emotionally incapable of it 💀
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