#i wish i knew how to trigger warn for it but idk check if it has any does the dog die entries???
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futurefind · 1 year ago
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//Thinking about how my peak belorbo media D.Gray-man is... not just compatible with Fate/ nasuverse but easily so. Ft:
The Black Order & Holy Church being at odds with each other despite same on-paper goal; HC wants to eliminate all 'threats' to humanity, 'heresy' included, while TBO uses magic, Innocence/Invocators/Exorcists ('God's Chosen'), and atrocities to try and secure their goal
While both secret in nature, TBO both being antithetical to HC's views/goals and being a recognized and highly priveleged status symbol among public governments and officials, means HC just... has as little idea abt TBO as everyone else, but they're way more paranoid about it/them
Servants!! Servants and Masters, baybey!!!! Whether they're summoned by Exorcists, or Finders, or stray Invocators, or straight up stray randos viewed as compatable, why get summoned into a grail war when you can get summoned into the Holy War for nothing less than humanity's very survival??? (Dear GOD do they need the help!!!) ((Liably ripperoni to the Akumas the Servants slay, but also maybe not, which is more than what's guaranteed by TBO's other 'additional firepower' methods))
You could similarly justify Servants being summoned for the Noah/assisting them!! While the Servants (and Masters) on the Black Order's side are fighting for Humanity's preservation, those on the Noah's are fighting for Earth's... via eradicating humanity wholesale. Whoopsies!
Aka: I am psspsspssing anyone curious to try DGM!! :] If you're just interested in the premise/setting/tone/lore for this AU specifically, the max you'd need is ~80 chapters (when/before The Ark arc happens), and if you DO like it its updates are max every month n are only at ~250
(P.S. 'how important is this war for humanity's survival anyway?? i mean its literally a shounen--' ignoring how thereve been pub issues due to it veering too dark for shounen label the people trying to wipe out humanity are former humans who are creating an army of monsters via people wanting their deceased loved ones back. these monsters are literally unkillable except by Exorcists or other Akuma. meanwhile, a single scratch from a single Akuma bullet is a guaranteed kill.
The Black Order has a branch in every continent, because where there is People there is grief there are Akuma. The Exorcists? Not even 20 of them including the casualties)
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mariasont · 8 months ago
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Negotiating with Mr. H - pt. 2
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a/n: part two to this
god im such a shluuuut for this man anyhow happy reading
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!nanny!reader
warnings: 18+ mdni, unprotected p in v (DONT DO THAT, boo tomatoes), use of sir and mr. hotchner in bed, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, honey, etc.), idk im terrible at warnings
wc: 2k
The hours had stretched into days since you all but threw yourself at Mr. Hotchner. The morning after unfolded with him dodging your company as if you were a wildfire, claiming a day at the zoo with Jack as a shield, yet you saw it as a deliberate distance he put between you. No sooner had they returned, the call for a case arrived. Typical.
But you found no room for embarrassment within yourself; you had played your hand, and he had been receptive, at least so you thought. If he had changed his mind, that was within his right; still, you wished he'd say something about it.
Your fingers tenderly combed through Jack's hair, the soft strands slipping between them, as you gently closed the book, careful not to wake him. He had a nightmare, but you soothed away the scary bits with 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar', as you coaxed him back to sleep. It was his go-to comfort read--and secretly, yours too. You eased your legs over the edge, each step a muted brush against the carpet. You flicked off the light, the soft thud of the book on the nightstand, and you stepped into the hallway--the door sealing behind you softly.
You moved with soft steps towards your room, hands outstretched as they found the doorknob, pushing it open with the slightest pressure. You froze mid-step, the distinct click of the front door's latch piercing the silence. Subconsciously, a plan formed in your mind, as if waiting for this cue. You made a beeline for the closet, fingers flying as you shimmied into your favorite panties and a cropped white long sleeve that highlighting your stiffening nipples. Listening intently for the sound of his footsteps, you slid under the sheets, the door left invitingly open, your legs peeking out as if by chance.
Was this wrong? Certainly, but the blood rushing to your cunt didn't care. You were acutely aware of each groan from the wooden steps under his weight as he made his way upstairs, and you could almost catch the hush of his breath as he lingered at Jack's room, the door's creak broadcasting his quiet check.
You snapped your eyes shut, the sound of his nearing steps triggering an automatic response. You knew he'd have to pass your room to get to his. Every sense tingled to life as his footsteps hesitated at your door. Even with your back facing him, you felt his eyes roam over you, his breath turning heavy, hanging in the air.
You exhaled a shaky breath, feeling it vibrate through the stillness as he continued on to his room. The urge to swear was heavy on your tongue, the realization dawning that your plan had left no impression on him. You turned restlessly, feeling the bite of your failed efforts. Yet, when you propped yourself up, there he was--Mr. Hotchner, standing motionless in the doorway.
"Oh, Mr. Hotchner! I--I didn't realize you were home. How was the case?" Your question floated on a note higher than usual, yet you made no move to hide your body from him, welcoming the observation.
"Really? You didn't hear me? I could have sworn I heard movement in your room as I came in," he remarked, his piercing gaze locking onto you as he casually propped himself against the frame of the door.
"Movement? Could've been the wind," you suggest, your smile bright and inviting, arms falling away to give him a full display of your hardened nipples through the thin fabric of your shirt.
His response is brief, a deliberate blink, a silent count to ten, before his gaze sharpens, a frown forming as he closes the distance between you, the door shutting behind him. "The wind, huh?" he echoed, "I've been neck-deep in a nightmare of case, and this is what I come home to?"
You maneuver closer, your legs now casually exposed as you perch on the bed's edge. "What's wrong, Mr. Hotchner? Don't appreciate the view?"
His presence fills the space by your bed. "The view," he begins, his eyes taking a leisurely journey from your exposed legs up to meet your gaze, "is more than agreeable."
You hand snakes out, catching the silk of that god damn tie, drawing him closer. "Well. Mr. Hotchner, aren't you going to do something about this agreeable view?" you challenge, eyes wide and expectant.
Assertively, he captures your chin, his thumb brushing your cheek. "You should know by now, I'm very much a man of action."
He leans down, a predator claiming his willing prey, and his mouth captures yours in a kiss that sends a surge of electricity through your veins, your fingers curling into the fabric of his suit as if the meld him into you. The way his lips were attached to yours sent shockwaves straight to your core, hands moving from his lapels to his hair.
"Didn't think you had it in you, Mr. Hotchn--," you mumbled against his mouth, but you were swiftly cut off as his teeth dug into your bottom lip.
"The next time you say my name, it's going to be when my cock is buried so deep inside you that you can't form anything else but that name."
And in that moment, you could've sworn you'd never felt desire until he said those words. He began to trail sloppy kisses up your neck, your head arching back, surrendering to the sweet attention he lavished upon the column of your throat. There was a quiet authority in his actions, as he parted your thighs, his fingers grazing closer to your clothed cunt as his other hand pushed you flat against the bed.
A gasp fluttered from your lips, a delicate sound of shock. You would've never pegged him to be like this in bed. So fucking demanding. Your thighs instinctively sought each other, but his large hand held them apart, keeping you open, vulnerable.
You looked up at him with doe eyes, wide and brimming with lust, and it reflected a beauty so intense he was sure it could halt time. He was sure he must've done something right in this life to be privileged enough to see you like this—so submissive despite your big talk, so eager to please. It sent a rush to every part of his body, specifically his cock which stretched against his dress pants, begging to be released.
He wanted to take his time, to worship your body in the way it deserved, but there was nothing slow or soft about his movements. His hands explored every inch of your body as if he'd been touch starved his whole life.
"Pl-Please, sir, please touch me," you begged, your hips bucking against the graze of his hands.
The word 'sir' triggered a slight twitch in his cock, his voice a throaty rumble. "Feel that? I'm touching you, honey," he teased, his touch a tantalizing drag against your skin, inching your shirt upward, a smug smile etched on his handsome face.
"You know what I mean," you insisted, your hand intertwining with his in a silent plea, guiding them to where you wanted.
"I can't read your mind, sweetheart," he chides softly, his touch retreating teasingly, "be a good girl and tell me where you want me to touch you."
Your mind was going blank, so desperate for him you could almost feel your arousal leaking down your thighs.
"Here?" he questioned, his hands coming to rest on your ankles as he propped them on the edge of the bed, leaving your legs spread wide in front of him. You shook your head in response, a whine leaving your lips, "or here," he said, his hands moving up to your thighs.
You wiggled in his grip. "Mmm, getting closer aren't I?" he taunted, "use your words pretty girl, tell me how to help."
"Mr. Hotchner, please, need you inside me," your words were more slurred than you intended, sitting up to lock your hands behind his neck, your breath fanning his.
"You don't need it, you want it," he corrected, his lips brushing the sensitive skin behind your ear, his arm a steady band across your back, pulling you closer. "However, lucky for you, I'm inclined to be generous."
His hands eased you back towards the bed, your hands fingering through his hair as he made quick work with your underwear before tapping your shirt. "Take this off honey."
Without hesitation, you complied, flinging it carelessly to the bed's opposite edge, shifting to prop yourself up on your elbows. 
 "God, you're so beautiful."
The words seemed to empty your lungs of air, your face turning a delicate shade of pink as you beamed at him, your smile sticky with sweetness. His fingers found your nipples, teasing and tugging as you let out soft little whimpers, arching into his touch.
"Feels so good, sir," you moaned, hands digging into the sheets, leaning towards him to close the distance between you two, your lips seeking his in a tender collision.
You could sense his mouth curve into a silent smirk against yours as his hands moved with unhurried intent to your swollen clit, eliciting an involuntary gasp from you as you writhed on the mattress. You could hear his other hand undoing his belt as his continued his leisurely movements against your cunt. In a smooth, practiced motion, he pulled out his cock from his pants.
Your mouth parted slightly at the length of it, and you had to fight off the urge to drool at the sight. Thankfully he didn't make you beg for it, sliding into you with an ease that made your head fall back against the mattress.
"Shit," he hissed, his hands finding a natural perch upon the gentle swell of your hips. "You're so wet, honey. How long have you wanted this? Hmm?"
"S-So long," you muttered, a moan pausing your sentence, "wanted you for so long."
"I know, pretty girl," he murmured, his words interlaced with the obscene sound of his length pounding in and out of your drenched pussy. 
"Feels so good, Mr. Hotchner."
He let out a soft groan in response, his hands tangling through your hair. Your name rolled off his tongue as you clenched around him. He had to move his hands to the bed beside your head, trying to resist the urge to absolutely destroy you.
Your moans heightened with each thrust causing his hand to fly over your mouth, eyes rolling back to your head. "Need you to be quiet, honey. You can do that for me can't you?"
You nodded desperately against his palm, hands reaching out to close around his shoulders as you moved to meet his thrusts, the familiar coil beginning to wind in your core.
"I know you're close, sweetheart. Need you to hold on just a little longer."
He let out a breathy chuckle at your body's reaction, desperately bucking against him. Hotch revealed in the sound of your pussy squishing around him, so wet you're practically soaking his dress pants.
Your slur his name as he reaches between you, his thumb rubbing feverishly at your clit. "Go ahead, honey, cum for me."
His words were all you needed, gushing around his cock as he continued to fuck you through your high. He let out a strangled groan of his own, pumping you full of his cum. His large body slumped against yours, his head ducking into the crook of your neck as you both attempted to catch your breath.
He slowly lifted off of you, tucking his cock back into his pants as moved to grasp your ankle, rubbing comforting circles over the skin.
"Tell me, was that personal bonus sufficient for you?"
Your giggle, light and airy, filled the space as you gingerly lifted yourself, hands laying a gentle claim on his chest, your smile blooming across your lips. It was in this moment he knew he would do anything to keep you like this--content, utterly fucked and next time in his bed.
"Well, I can't say for sure, Mr. Hotchner," you admit, your kiss on his cheek lingering a moment longer. "I work really hard around here, maybe another round would satiate me."
"I don't know think anything would satiate you, honey."
"Maybe so, but isn't it tempting to see if something can?"
"Undoubtedly."
taglist: @mrs-ssa-hotch
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desiresloki · 5 months ago
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hello, sexies!!! soft!Billy hargrove yet again. This might be a little OOC of him but I'm just brainrotting. I need something soft. This is part two of robbers. Initially, this was named “Robbers : 2.” a part two to my previous drabble ( here ) but whilst writing somewhere down the line, I wrote something similar to a lyric from cinnamon girl and I went “😯” SO TADAAA!!! ( totally sooooooo original ) I just wanna be loved. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. p.s thank you to all of my friends <3
trigger warnings: alcohol. No smut in this one, sexies </3 . fluff fluff, and a lil bit angst? lots of fluff because I'm a fluffy person. smoking. ( idk y'all )
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Cinnamon girl
The sky was dark blue, a hint of grey and faintly thunderous. Perhaps, the thunder was from her beating heart when she left the motel bed, picked up her scattered clothes, wore them quietly and hesitantly as he was in deep slumber. He didn’t look like an asshole, but she knew better than to stay here and hand her heart over to him on a silver platter. She took one more glance at him and thanked god silently that he was facing her. The flimsy blanket covered the lower half of his body, as he hugged a pillow; dreaming of her. She admired the messy blonde curls falling over his forehead, like a beach wave for how curly they were. His mouth slightly agape, inhaling and exhaling air. He looked like a dream and for that, she cannot stay. Her soul begged her to stay, but by then she had already left the motel and from afar, she could see the sun peeking from the horizon and it painted the sky in beautiful orange hues. At first, she didn’t move, she stood there and wondered. She hoped things would be different the moment he pulled her in his embrace, and she stayed there to relish the feeling of his arm around her waist, holding her as though she was glass, gently but then harsh to indulge himself in her scent, Let her be glass, let her break in his very soul, and he’s still hold her just as fiercely. Let her hurt him because if that’s the only way they’ll have this then so be it. That’s what his affection felt like. Painfully pleasant.
She got home as quickly as she could, thanking the gods that the motel wasn’t too far away from her house and lucky her that this was a small town. Still, she made sure that no one saw her for Billy’s sake, knowing how brash Neil could get and she wouldn’t wish anything bad upon Billy. She sneaked into her house quietly, and got into her bedroom. She took off her clothes, knowing it’s a good idea to get rid of the cheap motel smell, and sex, mostly his cologne that lingers around her being and she couldn’t hate it. She tried when she showered but there were still remnants of it when she stepped out and she missed him then. She missed him when she stepped out of that room but her pride was important. It must be an expensive cologne. She thought. She got dressed, ignored this gnawing feeling in her stomach as she rode her bike to school. When she reached school, Steve was there at the entrance, he saw her and jogged towards her. The boy furrowed his eyebrows.
“Where’s Billy?”
“Home.”
“You didn’t call me?”
“I knew you’d be here already.” She shrugged her shoulders, and Steve knew better than to push the situation out of her. It won’t do him any good because this girl could really hold it in, though she was bound to break when the time comes. They walked into school together before parting their ways with small goodbyes when the bell rang, they both had different classes throughout the day unlike her and Billy, where they shared two classes. History and maths. She waited for him at her locker, pretending to check her schedules, but he didn’t walk in. Did it anger him that much?
She shut her lockers, walking towards her class with the thoughts of him lingering in the back of her mind. She remembered the day she found him behind the school building, leaning against the tree and smoking the weed that Eddie Munson sold around school. She didn't judge the metalhead, people do what they gotta do to survive.
“Hey there, doll.”
She only narrowed her eyes at him as a response before walking to the other side to smoke her cigarette. Back then, she found his presence terribly annoying. His voice was like chalk scratching against the blackboard and she also constantly got into arguments with him regarding his behaviour towards her dear friend.
Unknowingly to her, her soul had found something she didn't know she needed. Serenity. When in secret, when no one is around, Billy has a different side of him. It took some time for that side to resurface but the first time she saw it was when he brought out his “Tears For Fears” cassette in the car. She pressed her lips to conceal her laughter, he glanced at her and rolled his eyes then.
“what?”
“what, what?”
“you tell no one.”
She told no one about it. ( Steve doesn't count. )
The memories vanished when his laugh entered the packed classroom, with one annoyed teacher at how late everyone was.
She looked away from the window when he walked into history. They held eye contact for a millisecond but felt as though it was more than that. It felt like the world slowed momentarily, everything else drowned in the background and all she could hear was the whispers of her heart to go to him and engulf him in the hug she yearns for but she sat there without so much as moving an inch. He didn’t want to look away from her just yet but a friend patted his back. He blinked, going to his seat. A table away from her. She inhaled shakily and brought her attention to their teacher. She puts up that facade again, a stoic face throughout the whole day unless she was with her best friend, Steve Harrington.
That only fuels Billy’s confusion since he woke up alone in the motel room. He woke up shortly after she left, he wore his jeans before opening the door to an empty road. The sun was shining brightly, he was late. Evidently late to school as well, but luckily he got there before Neil woke up. Max knew, but she didn’t say anything. If anyone saw anything first, it was Max. She saw his friendship with their neighbour blossoming. Like a moonflower because every night, he’d go to her porch and smoke a cigarette or two as they talk about whatever that is on their mind and for the first time in a long, long time, Max saw a smile form on his lips. It was faint, you’d have to squint to see it properly. She also knew that none of them would ever admit it because of the fear of the unknown.
Billy himself refuses to acknowledge it. He buried those feelings deep within himself when his mother abandoned him. When he called her and pleaded for her to come back but she left him in the dirt. What once was a boy with a tender heart hardened gradually, layer by layer. All he was capable of was resentment. No one taught him what love was, he didn’t know it existed until he found himself drawn to her, but all of it vanished as quickly as it appeared before his eyes, as though he was seeing a fleeting shadow, or perhaps a glimpse of what could’ve been. Therefore, none of them would give their hearts to each other even if their souls weeped for it. The loneliness of both worlds consumed them leisurely. They got used to it whilst playing a character, but beneath the masks they wear, there lingers a girl with sunlight in her eyes and a boy who dreams of california beach. Unbeknownst to them that both were what their souls were yearning for, last night was proof enough but neither listened to their hearts until the night that unfurls above these two lost souls.
She sat outside on her porch in her pyjamas with a cup of tea beside her on the wooden plank. She had a lit up cigarette between her forefinger and middle. It’s not always her to come out for a smoke but she seemed to need it today because she may have lost a dear friend with one drunken move. She brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled the nicotine before exhaling it through her nose. Nights like this, he would come out to drink a beer or so with her. Her mother didn’t mind Billy, she was quite fond of the curly haired boy. But he didn’t come out of his house. She sat there, watching his house in front of her and she made peace with it. It was supposed to happen, so she thought. The door opened, he stood there with two bottles of beer in one hand. Her heart would've jumped out, she swore. He was in his usual white sleeveless top, and black shorts. He looked like a mess, quite literally. His hair was sticking out in places she had never seen before, his eyes once filled with cockiness were replaced with sadness, and a hint of hope. Her eyes travelled down and there was a tent in his pocket. A pack of cigarette, and that very sight made her heart leap out of relief. A second chance.
She blinked her eyes when he closed the door, ( as gently, to not wake his father. ) and her breath left her lungs when he walked towards her. Just like every time, he took them away selfishly, that bastard.
She gulped her saliva when he extended his hand out, giving her a bottle. Her confused eyes never left his dull ones. Her eyebrows pressed together, silently begging him to leave her but at the same time to goddamn hold her without hurting her very soul. His eyes held promises, they held the stars that he'd give her if he wasn't such a fuck up.
“I couldn't sleep,” Hargrove spoke softly, his voice cracked lightly and she smiled faintly.
“Sit with me then, hargrove?” she asked — begged. Who was Billy to deny such a pretty girl? He sat down beside her after she took her bottle and they didn't say anything else. You can never deny what your heart wants, no soul is ever that strong.
“I won't hurt you, you know?” The boy spoke, and she giggled softly.
“How do you know that I won't hurt you?”
“you like me too much,”
“get over yourself, bee.”
He smirked, she rolled her eyes and then they faced each other. Each back resting on the wooden rail. She dropped her cigarette bud into her cup and sipped her beer, looking up at the stars, and he simply looked at her. He never cracked before a girl, but she brought out sides of him that were locked away.
“Don't leave next time?” Billy tilted his head, trying to read the pretty girl. He's done it last night, and he wants to do it again. She was far from him just as she is close to him at this very moment. The girl sighed, the faint smile still on her lips as she looked back at him. Then she realised something that made her heart cry, and her smile falters. The boy before her was wholly different, he was vulnerable and just as lost as she is. His eyes brighter than ever, his face softer, and his body timid. In ways she had never seen him, not even last night. He was the young boy that called for his mother, and the same very boy was calling for her.
She scoot closer to him, and she could hear the slight shudder of his breath escaping his lips. Her gentle hand raised up, brushing a strand of his hair and tucks it behind his ear. He seemed almost scared but not of her, of what will happen next. His eyes never left hers since he arrived and he wasn't planning to look away any time soon. How could she be so blind? It was him all along, the boy that had given his heart over to her on a silver platter, the same very boy that never asked for much but just not to leave.
Billy sat forward and he took her hand that was previously on his cheek and then he brought them to his lips, giving her a chaste kiss before she gave herself to him. Be damned if this isn't right, but it felt right. His lips against hers, it felt like she had the stars in the palm of her hands.
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nalyra-dreaming · 4 months ago
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hello, I am in a deep spiral about the drop/the dv.
you are so right that so many things, such as the dragging/biting don't even add up with the clean Lestat landing in s1. And his clean face definietly doesn't add up with the beat and bloody face and clothes he has in 2x07. We have the coffin dent, but we have a clean faced Lestat in the whole scene in the sky??
We all knew since s1 that the fight was a bad choice, but we all still love the show. I guess a lot of us are trying to deal with this ooc thing in a show we otherwise really enjoy. It's nice to hear that Sam doesn't really like that choice either, from what I understand? With the revisiting in s2 during the trial, so many things still don't add up, so will we revisit the fight again? How do you think they could 'redeem' that whole shitshow in s3? Posession? Armand's meddling? (since it's almost a parallel to Armand and Lestat)
Idk, I just wish the writers understood that for a lot of us, the fight doesn't make sense and we need clear explanation bc it's a pretty heavy topic. They need to be consistent with this, maybe have a genuine talk with Louis and Lestat about this. Make us understand what really happened without any more twists. I love the portrayal of Loustat in this show, aside from this. Please give me some hope bc I am so deeply obsessed with this show it rekindled my VC era and I am thinking about this day and night
Oh yeah, the show did the same for me *laughs* Sam has stated that he did not like the DV added in episode 5 and he had hoped that AMC would at least add trigger warnings, which they didn't. He also obviously was not satisfied with how 1x06 wanted to set up Lestat's turning, so he added a line.
I do think they will revisit the fight again, yes. And the trial. There are a lot of hooks set up already, especially since they used the fight in the trial. They added deliberate hints and reactions, too.
I am not sure there is "redemption", or that there needs to be redemption. I think the show won't go for "redemption", not really. They expect us to "get it" when the tale shifts again I bet - given that the shifts in the tale right now have been missed by a surprisingly lot of people I am not particularly hopeful... but I don't think Rolin & co care much for that, because emotional uproar is... engagement. And engagement is always good.
Lestat as a fictional character does not need redemption either, not really. And, as a note, the "fight" portion of episode 5 is not the problem, imho. Louis and Lestat fought, canonically. Lestat had anger problems. That's in the book. All good. But to frame it as DV with a clear power discrepancy, and then use very charged racial dynamics on top of it is what made it so irredeemable.
And I don't know how they want to dig themselves out of this, not really. I mean, fandom != general audience. Watching reactions was a bit of a reality check here, because the general audience doesn't have that big of a problem with it all. Fandom does.
And the fandom got big white abuser™ Lestat for (almost) two seasons, in more than 2 years, with a big twist at the end that a lot seem to have missed. With a lot of insinuated meddling and mental influence of the tale. And in s3 they will go to his POV and leave the memory part a bit, by Rolin's words.
I think s3 will give us Lestat telling us of a kind of "black out" during the fight (outside)... and some kind of influence. Maybe he will know what it is, maybe he won't yet (namely Amel). I think he won't know yet. And I think s3 will show us the key scenes between Armand and Lestat... and Nicki. And if we're lucky they will make the echo/parallel there clear, namely Armand telling Lestat he waited for him, and then throwing Lestat off a height, in the book the tower.
We will see.
Given season 2 and the reveals they chose there and how they chose them there... I am not too hopeful they will spell things out.
I don't think they will care to spell them out, outside the episode insiders that is (they have been much more clear in those this season, granted). For them, it's irrelevant of the majority of the audience "gets" the hinted at parallels or reveals. The story will work "enough" with the basic reveals.
Still. Given who Lestat is for the chronicles? Given who Louis is? Given who they are?
Season 3 needs to land. Stick. Hit. And leave this ugly business behind.
And therefore... I hope it will be done then.
Whatever way.
I do think there will be more twists incoming... but I hope that we will be done with the shit pertaining to Louis and Lestat themselves. Given the structure of the books - and the show's - I have a careful hope that we might be soon.
Fingers crossed.
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yanderes-galore · 8 months ago
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Hi! Idk if you're still taking request's but if you're doing it can I ask one about a yandere romantic halo more specifically master chief and the inquisitor (separetly or together like a rivalry youre choice) with a reader immune to the flood, (maybe she was a experiment when she was a child and escaped or just happend to be a discovery) how both covenant and humanity would view her and what they want to do with her and what her yandere would be capable to do for her... It's ok if you ignore it btw I love you're writing 🌸
I never actually knew Thel had another name depending on the country :0 Here's some short ideas about this concept, they aren't OVERLY yandere but I tried with what I was given. Hope you enjoy this! Darling is human.
Yandere Master Chief + The Arbiter with Darling immune to The Flood
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Human experimentation, Violence mentioned, Kidnapping, Isolation, Subtle yandere themes, Dubious companionship/relationship.
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Master Chief/John-117
Finding out someone has an immunity to Flood spores is a great development.
Master Chief may have found you by accident, amongst a Flood infection he finds a lone human.
One no doubt traumatized due to what she's seen.
Taking you in he gets you checked out by professionals in a quarantined area.
Only to find out there's no spores in you at all.
You're an anomaly, the only known case of a human or any creature being immune to The Flood.
Even AI are corrupted by the sentient pestilence.
John no doubt sees you as valuable and useful.
Although it uneases him when scientists and doctors wish to do tests on your blood and flesh.
John may be the only one you can turn to.
He saved you... he even asks about you often.
It's strange to every other human to see the Master Chief so upset over a civilian.
Yet John cares for you, to a degree even he doesn't fully understand due to him unable to comprehend romance all that much.
He just feels like he has to protect you...
Not only are you a key to fending off The Flood, but John would hate to have you affected anymore than this.
Your mental state is already failing, while John is mostly numb to this kind of thing...
Part of him finds some pity for you due to him caring about you.
Eventually when tests are done on you and samples are taken, you're sent somewhere safe to watch your mental state.
John begins to show overprotective behavior around you.
Cortana even expresses interest/concern when John keeps asking to check on you.
Cortana even senses John's hostility towards those who work on you.
John may not see you often... but he is an important figure in your life now.
He may not know how to show affection, but he allows you to hug him.
In fact... soon he gets used to the sudden display of affection.
John has a very basic view of love.
Nothing overly intimate... he just knows he has an extreme amount of care towards you.
Your immunity can help many....
Cortana has to bring rational thought back to John at times, the Spartan always thinking about you.
John doesn't plan on letting anyone hurt you... no matter what it takes...
No humans, no Covenant, and especially not The Flood...
The Arbiter/Thel 'Vadam
This is an interesting case as we're talking about Halo 2/3 Arbiter.
Thel doesn't expect to find anyone immune to the parasite.
Even the Forerunners were not immune.
So when he hears rumors of the humans having someone who has immunity... he's skeptical.
Yet when he does find you and takes you in as essentially a hostage... he notices it.
He sees there's no sign of infection, that even when fellow Sangheili convert... Infection Forms seems to be unable to touch you.
It fascinates Thel, making him want to know more.
Let's say for this it's somewhat during the Great Schism.
Thel originally wants to tell The Prophets about you.
But as he travels with you... he begins to worry about what they'll do to you.
You're immune to The Flood... but you're human.
They could easily disect you and try to make a cure out of you.
Thel dreads the thought, ironic since he and his group are holding you hostage.
Despite such a situation... Thel still treats you with decent respect.
You may be human... but you are an important asset due to your immunity.
Thel takes time to get to know you and keeps you hidden.
Other Sangheili question his intentions, but Thel simply says you can be useful.
Thel is also overly protective of you, similar to Chief.
Eventually, when he trusts you enough and learns of The Prophet's lies, he may even be possessive towards you.
Thel hasn't had thoughts like this towards anyone, let alone a human.
He definitely apologizes for taking you hostage... but he hopes now when he teams with Chief you can be allies at the very least.
Thel and Chief understand that you are important for both of their species to survive.
So you must be protected.
Perhaps Thel even keeps contact with you during Halo 3's events.
Many human researchers look after you, Thel knows that's for the best.
Yet he often visits you, despite what human doctors and scientists say.
He makes sure you aren't hurt and even gets a bit irritated if you are away for too long.
It takes so much effort to separate him from you.
Thel takes time to come to terms with his obsession.
He isn't sure how to deal with romantic feelings towards a human.
But he adapts... and vows to protect you with his life.
Regardless on if you'll see him the same or not.
Perhaps even showing signs of courting, keeping a close eye on you all the time.
He's lost many men in battle... especially to The Flood... but you're special in many ways to him...
He refuses to lose you to anything, his most precious partner (and possible mate).
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sehodreams · 1 year ago
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Hey, my first story here, sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language
Anton x reader
TW: Idk if it's a trigger warning, I love all bodies and specially bigger girls, so the reader is a bit bigger, but there are some words that can be a bit sensitive to some girls about body image. Also a bit dubcon at first.
Really really short smut, I did when there was no light on my house (shot out to my third world country)
bestfriend!anton, first time for reader, no p in v, cum on pants, pussy eating, munch!anton
Idk how many words are there, I wrote it on my phone, so no spelling check either.
He really thought he wasn't that into you, you've been together so long as friends he didn't noticed he looked at you differently until you walked out of your class with another guy.
Why would you pay attention to a man that wasn't him?
He just laughed and brushed it off as a friendly jealousy.
But little by little he started to notice different things about you.
Since when was your hair so long? When you two met you had the Dora cut and he the bowl one.
But now your hair was soft, long and wavy, inviting him to touch it whenever he was behind you.
And your back? He knows what others say, that your shoulders and back are bigger than normal, but for him, they were perfect.
He knew he was big enough to wrap you, he had swam long enough to be built in the way only him could make you feel small.
You were tall, taller than all the other girls, but still shorter than him.
You were made for him.
He knew it, deep inside him he knew only he could treat you like every girl should be treated.
Well, he thought that until that guy appeared.
Two years older and taller than him, a fucking tower.
He saw how you looked at him with bright eyes, tall and strong, he catched you when you were about to fall and carried you like a feather. You were shock and blushed in a way he had never seen before.
He could carry you too, but the opportunity had never come again.
He remembers the last time he held you that way, you both had practice, so young you never saw each other with other eyes even if you were always together in swimsuits, you had no chest and he had no muscles on him. You were taller than him there, but when you were about to fall into the cold floor he didn't doubt it and held you, you were pretty shocked too because he didn't look strong enough to carry you, so skinny you always won in playful fights.
Everyone made fun of you because you were bigger than him and he held you like nothing, but he felt proud, he realized that even if he looked weak, he was strong enough to help his best friend when needed.
You never fell like that again, even when he kinda wished he could hold you like that again just to touch you more.
When you both grew, you shorter than him now but still taller than normal, you hadn't lost all that baby fat, however you weren't a kid anymore, you suddenly had the biggest tits he had ever seen, the longest and thickess legs any girl he knew had, and the prettiest face he could think of. You awakened something inside him when you were in your last year of swimming in high-school, you showed him in his dreams things he didn't feel proud of, but still wanted them.
And now, in college, he decided to make those dreams true.
He just wanted you, so he did everything he had to had you.
He made friends with Sungchan and pushed him to meet other girls, and when you knew he had a girlfriend, you just ran to him crying, asking what was wrong with you. Your height? Your round face? Maybe your massive thights? You doubted everything Anton loved, and he was a bit happy because now he could show you what those things provoked on him.
"Sit" he said after you entered his room, you were wearing the school hoddie and a pair of shorts that showed your long, smooth legs.
"I don't know what to do, Anton. I'm the only one who hasn't had a single relationship, not even a fling, am I really that undesirable?" You cried with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. Your crying face was pretty too, eyes slightly red, cheeks with tear stains and bright red lips.
He had to show you how pretty you were for him. He closed the door and put the secure, you thought it was only him protecting you so no one else saw you crying, you didn't know he did it to not let you run away.
"You know that's not true" he said softly, sitting beside you on the floor. He put his arm around you, and like instinct you put your face on his chest.
"I know what they say about me, I'm too tall, my shoulders too broad, my legs too thick, I'm always too much for them" you said sadly.
"They don't know how to appreciate you" he answered, moving his hand to your thigh to caress your skin.
"I thought Sungchan was different" you moved your arms around his side and hugged him, searching for comfort. He wanted to just lay you down on the floor and show you he was the different one, he adored all the things you hated about you, and it made him feel powerful, to be bigger than you, a big girl. A few minutes passed and then he decided to start moving.
"I think you're perfect the way you are" he said and you sniffled with a soft but dry laugh.
"You're the only one that thinks that, even my mom wants me to stop swimming, says I'm built like a man" you cried.
"She's so wrong, you're definitely a girl", he pinched your leg, "no man would have this legs, strong but soft, legs that show how much you care about the things you like, the dedication you put in everything you do", he moved his hands up, and carefully, looking at your eyes for any sign of you being uncomfortable, inserted them on your hoddie, touching your waist, "no man would have this waist, soft enough to shape them however i want", he felt bolder, seeing you in trance, he lifted his hands and unashamedly touched the perk of you left nipple and cupped your other tit, "and let me tell you, no man would have these tits, full and warm, perfect to bury my face on them".
He saw how your face grew hot, red and not knowing what to say, he continued with his hand on your chest and put the other one to caress the unattended nipple.
You closed your eyes, feeling him touch you and when he closed the distance between you two and kissed you in the most sinninful way he thought of, sticking his tongue directly in your mouth, not giving you a chance to have a sweet first kiss, he interlocked your lips with his and pinched harder your nipples to make you moan and skirm, laying you down on the floor he made sure you had no way of scaping, torturing you with his hands.
He took your hoddie off, you had no bra and he saw your nipples so inviting he licked them until he made you cry loud, sensitive. "You're fucking perfect" he said and teared down your shorts with your panties. You closed your legs, naked in front of him you felt incredibly vulnerable. "I want to see you, please" he said. You felt his need and opened your legs slowly, still embarrassed of showing him your body in such a lewd way to someone who used to be your best friend, "So fucking pretty".
He kissed you to distract you, and when you were relaxed with him again, he moved his hand down your waist, feeling your curves, until he found that perfect wet place that drove him insane. At first his fingers were just recollecting the juices you dripped, but when he moved his wet hand to his face and sniffed your aroma, he broke and buried his face down there, licking a long strip to taste you as much as he could.
"So fucking sweet, fuck" he mumbled against your skin, you were crying loud with his mouth touching your pussy. Your hands on his hair only made him more hungry and he quickly started to fuck you with his tongue. You were so drunk on the feeling you didn't noticed how you pushed his face in such a way your clit rubbed his nose and he felt intoxicated, your pussy fucking his face better than anything he dreamed of.
In his dreams you were shy, so much more than now that you were so lost you didn't care if he could breath or not, and he loved that, he knew how to hold his breath and was glad that ability came to be useful for you. He just wanted you to use him as much as he wanted to use you.
You suddenly tried to separate his face from your sensitive clit. He understood what was going to happen, and denying your pleas he grabbed your hands with one of his hands and pushed you down on your stomach with the other, not letting you get away. He increased the force on his tongue, making out with your pussy, pressing his whole face on it to drown on anything you were about to give him.
"Cum" he ordered softly, almost like a whisper, and that was enough. You came so hard your breath stopped for a second and the noise that left your throat would have made you embarrassed in any other ocasion, but you were so dumb on the feeling you didn't even notice. Your whole body fell to the cold floor and your eyes couldn't see from all the tears. And he? He came on his pants, completely proud of his work.
The silence after the best -and first- orgasm of your life was weirdly comfortable and you still felt the need to break it.
"I never noticed that your ceiling wasn't white anymore" you said after a few minutes, when you recovered part of your senses. You were still naked under the shirt Anton had given you, big enough to be oversized on you too, with the inside of your legs wet and sticky, too tired to move. The ceiling was a really clear beige now, warmer, different from the cold but bright white you used to now.
"Yeah, you don't notice many things" he answered on your side, putting your favorite playlist on his phone, because of course he had all your playlists.
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thatdodoanonx · 3 months ago
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Hey Dodo!!
I haven't heard from you in a bit, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing! I think about you regularly, and although I know it is a silly wish considering your circumstances, I hope you are doing well. And I hope that one day you will be safe and sound, and that that day comes soon.
I love you, truly
Hi everyone this not so quick update about my state, it has some heavy topics so I'm gonna put some trigger warning please keep that in mind and don't worry I'll get to everything eventually 
TW: Suicide, Self Harm, COSA, Religious Trauma, Abuse 
Now with that being said I wanna start by saying Hi, it's been almost a year since the whole thing happened, it was emotional rollercoaster but I can assure I'm still alive and start my journey to recover ❤️‍🩹 
Did I leave home?
No but my mom got a promotion out of the town and I only see her once sometimes twice a week, she did try to make me move with her but couldn't because of college (I only got one year left YAY!!) 
Is she still a pain ?
Yeah nothing changed about her she is still as controlling, she gave me back my phone but put a child lock on it so I won't be able to access any app except the ones related to college, and she gave me back my laptop (which I'm using to write this on it)
Ok now onto the heavy topics, I found myself relapsing into my old bad habit, cutting and biting myself until it bleeds I haven't done that since highschool,to put it blunt I didn't have irl friends or at least a support system, and metal health in my country is a taboo and being from a well known family in a small town isn't helping, so the idea of a therapy is out of the window, and being alone with my thoughts didn't help
And then my first attempting, idk why but I couldn't do it I guess I was scared, no one was home that day and even had razors but I couldn't. I was able to find my dad's old laptop and typed for suicide hotline and to my surprise there was. The lady on the phone helped me a lot because I was going through a bad panic attack. At the end of the call she told me to talk to my mom about it, she's a doctor after all and there's no shame in it, but come on now that's my we're talking about. I told her I'll try 
Fast forward: I was visiting mom in the city she's working now at, the job comes with a free rental apartment, anyway me and her had a heart to conversation and me being the idiot that I am thought about it was opportunity to talk about some childhood trauma, it's painful to talk about it but don't worry I'm coming with the term that it wasn't my fault. (I'll highlights the next paragraph so don't have to read it if it upset you I'm writing it so u can understand the context)
I was a victim of COSA (child on child sexual assault) by my cousin who is the same age as me (we both were 7 at the time) , she unfortunately had an early access to internet and would show me sexual images. I told my cousin about the bulling I was going through school because I like a boy and said I would marry him (which extremely forbidden in my Religious school) so my bullies made a rumor about me being a loss child and I would going out which older boys, the rumors were so bad one of the teachers pulled me aside and confronted me about it, she knew I was a good kid so there was no way.
I told my cousin about it, I trusted her and what do you she did? That's right she blackmailed and told me I didn't do whatever she wanted she would tell my mom about my secret. So there I was me and her in a small room at our grandma's house, things happened I don't want to recall and I don't think I'll be able. no matter how I begged and cry, I just kept numbing myself until it's over, this still habit I have , one the thing I do to survive 
I told mom about, my childhood trauma, my suicide attempt. she was understandly horrified, she tried to comfort me but this processed to say it was my fault that I let that happen, I told her I was scared and still a child 
Then I told that I was messed up and need a professional help to which she said "we don't need that I'll fix you myself"
The next day me and her got into a fight over something stupid to which she as always had to pull the secrets I told her against me "Why don't you fucking kill yourself already? You said wanted to do it, huh? Now it's your time at least you'll save a headache" she said that in front of my brother 
I know whenever she gets mad she would go so low but even that was low for her, that was the one time I trusted her with something so personal I never told to anyone and somehow she managed to shutter every lasting trust I had in her. Part of me still thought everything she would do was out of love, that was tough love and she only hurt me because she care but I guess at that moment truly open my eyes 
I came to her that night and told her that what she said really hurt me and I trusted her with something very personal to which she dismissed and said "oh [name] me and you know well that you'll never kill yourself, you're too coward anyway" 
Out of all the things she said to me that has to cruelest thing ever, maybe because part of me know she was right but I didn't think she would say it out loud 
After that everything went blur for me, summer course I started to see her less and less. In the few weeks without her were strange to say the least. I come home and it's... quiet? No shouting, no yelling, no screaming no nothing. It was weird, I didn't know what to do with that quiet, I felt if I relaxed to much she might jump out of nowhere and scream at me, but I have to say it was nice, I felt like I can breathe? Like no one is watching everything I do waiting for me to make a mistake. It is not ideal she still come every week but honestly it's better than nothing. I started to write a little in my notes every now and then, I even started to draw again. Both brought me comfort, and I even allowed myself to make friends, it's not a big group but hey we get along. There's on in particular friend group I'm close to the most, she's lovely, keep talking and texting me to check, I gotta say it was a bit overwhelming but I'll never tell her to stop because that's how she shows she care
Life has been slow lately, same old routine but I'm more happy and more idk calm? I mean a few months ago I thought I won't be alive today and what do you know! I turned 23 two mouths ago (happy late birthday to I guess?) I think that is a good a step for me start healing, it won't happen over night but I know it will be worth it 
Thanks to everyone on who still checking on me, I know it was a long update, but I'm thankful you took time to read it 
I hope there's a next, see you soon
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-🦤
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reidsaurora · 2 years ago
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"Part Thirteen: I Have To" ~ S. Reid
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Summary: Spencer shows up at Imogen's door, one thing on his mind: how he has to love her. No matter her response.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Imogen Sterren (bipolar!OC)
Word Count: 2,357
Content Warning: explicit language, small mention of church (is that a warning? idk but) small mentions of Spencer's drug addiction, tiny mention of puke, this whole chapter is mostly Spencer having a panic attack, mentions of bipolar episodes, lmk if i missed anything!
Genre: Angst to Fluff, i'd say
Extra Notes: i… i may have almost cried while writing this 😀
Based On the Song: Soon You'll Get Better by Taylor Swift
Originally Written: 02/07/2023 (re-edited 03/05/2023)
Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!
"Soon You'll Get Better" series masterlist can be found here!
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"𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭? 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬?" - 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐜𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬
It was nearing sunset and Spencer still hadn't found the courage to knock on Imogen's door.
Every time he even thought about stepping onto the yellow-accented front porch, knocking on the robin's egg colored door, coming face to face with brown waves and the shade of green he often found himself missing, he panicked. His hands would quiver, his airway would tighten, and his mind would start to feel so enclosed that he felt like a tiger trapped in a cage at a zoo.
After a while, he started using anything he could as a distraction, taking a particular interest in his surroundings. Sure, it was nice to smell the fresh air after being stuffed in a police precinct for two days, and the sky was a beautiful array of oranges and pinks, but Spencer knew deep down he was just doing what he always did when it came to confrontation: stalling.
It was nearing six o'clock and yet, there he sat—fiddling with the fastenings of his cardigan, taking as deep of breaths as he could manage, and only occasionally looking up to see if somehow Imogen was watching him from the doorway or the window.
At some point, he found his thumb hovering over Penelope's number in his list of emergency contacts. He glanced at the clock in the upper right corner of the screen, realizing that another fifteen minutes had already passed since the last time he checked it.
He let out a deep breath, whispered a quick, "Fuck it," and hit the call button, finding the tiniest bit of solitude in the buzzing sound that rang in his ear.
After three rings, Penelope answered, her voice as gentle as a mother holding her newborn baby. "You haven't talked to her yet, have you?" she asked, a slight tone of disappointment coating her voice.
He shook his head as if she could see him before answering, "I don't know if I can, Penelope. What if I set off another episode? What if seeing me triggers her and I undo all that progress she's made? What if-"
"Oh, boy wonder," she interrupted, her tone staying even but nurturing, "you and all your 'what ifs'."
She wished she could place a comforting hand on his shoulder while simultaneously wishing she could just slap him and say, "Can't you see?"
But Penelope, being ever the peacekeeper, simply said, "I know only a sith deals in absolutes, but who cares what Obi-Wan thinks anyway? Anakin was hotter, both figuratively and literally."
Her rambling elicited a chuckle from Spencer, and the mere sound of it made Penelope smile. She basked in it for a moment, taking in that sweet sound she hadn't heard in at least a week.
After a beat, she spoke up once again. "You shouldn't waste your life away worrying about all the what ifs. There are literally so many other things—more important things—to think about it. Like the fact that you have the ability to give Imogen the best life she could ever ask for. You can be the one to help her any time she has an episode, whether it be a manic high or a depressive down. Spencer Reid, you could be the one who helps her gain custody of August again. You can help her get better."
Spencer let out a deep breath, his fingers flying up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He sat there stiffly, knowing she was right, but also believing he didn't have the strength to do it.
Spencer could also be the one to fuck up her life. Spencer could also be the one to cause a manic high or a depressive down. Spencer could also be the one to make her worse off again.
Penelope spoke up again, her voice stern yet sincere when she said, "But you are not going to accomplish a damn thing sitting on that bench and staring at her front door."
Spencer's expression change to one of confusion as he started to ask, "How did you-"
"Turn around."
He turned, and not ten feet away, there she stood—go-bag in hand, wearing an orange dress and sporting off her new red hair color that the sunset behind her only complemented, tears welling in those blue eyes that hid behind cerulean glasses.
"What are you doing here?" he managed to ask, stepping toward her with open arms.
She wrapped her arms around his sweater-vest-covered midsection, basking in his embrace. Neither Spencer nor Penelope would ever admit it to their therapists, but they were becoming quite codependent on each other.
After a moment, she pulled away and placed both her hands on either side of his face. "Spencer, I love you. You are quite possibly my favorite person ever, besides the perfect hunk of chocolate that is named Derek Morgan. So please know that I say this out of love."
He looked down at her, cracking a half-smile and finding peace in the fact that she was there. The one absolute Spencer had in life was there, standing in front of him, and doing the one thing he asked of her: being Penelope.
"Do not be an idiot. I know you think that's something impossible for you to do since you have that two thousand IQ score and all those PhDs, but if you walk away from here without at least telling her you still love her, you will officially win the Guinness World Record for biggest idiot."
He pulled her back in for another hug, leaving a soft peck on her hairline. "Where would I be if I didn't have you to keep me in check?" he chuckled, his chin settling atop her scalp.
"I love you, and this moment has been super sweet and all, but I need you to stop using me as a distraction and go get your girl," she mumbled into the fabric of his sweater.
And so, he gave her one last peck on the head before stepping away, sliding his shaking hands into the pockets of his slacks. But, before he could make it to Imogen's door, he stopped. "Hey, you didn't tell me why you came."
"I needed to be here for you," she answered, as if it were a given, as if it didn't need explaining. "I needed to drive you home and comfort you if it went badly, but I also needed to be here if it went well and we needed to go out for drinks and celebrate. Plus, you know I couldn't possibly pass up on a chance to join in on one of Emily Prentiss's sin-to-win weekends."
He chuckled, a sound Penelope just couldn't get enough of on that breezy October night, and stepped up to the wooden door that blocked him from winning back the love of his life.
He slid his hand out of his pocket before tapping on the door, unsure if he'd even hit the door loud enough for someone to hear him.
But, after about ten seconds, the shuffling of slippers could be heard on the other side of the door, and just the mere sound had Spencer on the verge of passing out.
The door opened agonizingly slow, but what hid behind was well worth the wait.
Light brown hair that used to dangle near her mid-back had been darkened to a chocolate brown and sat just under her chin. Bennington pajamas had been replaced with lounge clothes that Imogen picked out, not anyone else. And tired, misty eyes had been replaced with youthful eyes, accompanied by a sweet yet confident smile.
Imogen eyed Spencer up and down, her grin only growing as she realized he too had had a confidence makeover since their parting. Short hair had been replaced with shoulder-length curls, he'd abandoned his silly, plaid-print ties and replaced it with his new favorite brown sweater vest, and his closed-in shoulders had been replaced with assured, broad shoulders, his posture signaling that he looked much more confident than he felt at that particular moment.
"Hey, you," she sighed. A content sigh. A sigh that signaled she would be content staying just like this for the rest of her life if it meant Spencer was there and real, not a ghost visiting her dreams. "What are you doing here?"
All confidence and assurance left his body when his hands started to shake and his eyes darted down to his worn-out Converse. He racked his brain for a response, as if he didn't know the exact reason why he'd showed up at her house on a not-so-random Friday in October.
He exhaled hard before forcing himself to look back up at her. "Can I come in?" he forced himself to ask.
She gave him a closed-lip smile before moving away from the door. "Of course."
He found himself mesmerized by how she decorated a space that was hers. No one else's, Imogen's. From the pink throw pillows on the couch to the cross-stitched photo of a tulip bouquet hanging on the wall, it was clear that she'd made this place her own in the nearly three years she'd been living here.
Spencer was tempted to see if the gray, cloth couch felt as comfy as it looked, but resisted, forcing himself to speak the words that had been sitting on his mind since he arrived earlier in the day.
"Imogen," he started, his chest suddenly feeling constricted by the button-up sitting beneath his sweater, "there are so many things I need to tell you. I need to tell you how you've only grown more beautiful with each day that has passed. I need to tell you that I am so proud of you for taking the steps to get yourself better. But none of that matters until I say this."
He swallowed back every tear that had been threatening to fall that day before continuing, "I know you said that we needed to be away from each other. But I can't anymore. OK, you may have had to go away, but there is something I have to do too—love you. Wholeheartedly. I need you to know that not once in the entire 1,384 days that we've been apart have I ceased to love you. Hell, I even started going to church for you at one point. I mean, I guess that was essentially canceled out when I started taking drugs to distract myself from you-"
He stopped himself, shaking his head. "None of that's relevant. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this: I have to love you. I just have to. And I don't care if you throw me out of here and you never wanna see me again, I will continue to love you, even if that happens."
"Spencer-"
"I don't care if you tell me you hate my guts. Truth be told, I probably deserve it after not manning up and admitting to myself that I needed to help you."
"Spence-"
"None of that matters now. All I know is that I love you. And I love every single thing about you. Every quirk, every trait. I love how you organize the condiments in the fridge by color when I can't even remember to check the expiration dates. I love that you dot your i's with open circles. I love that you somehow always smell like fresh linen, even though I'm fairly positive that's not a scent in the wide variety of women's perfumes that this world has to offer. I even love that you dog-ear your pages, even though it drives me bat shit crazy when my coworkers do it on the plane. I love you. That's all I know. That's all I've known since that night you coached me through that bad panic attack when I was literally seconds away from sobbing on the bathroom floor. And you know how much I hate touching places where people have stepped."
Imogen giggled, a real genuine giggle that Spencer hadn't heard in what felt like a lifetime. A giggle that sounded like honeysuckle, and happiness, and home.
She forced back tears that welled in those perfectly teal eyes Spencer couldn't get enough of. "Can you give me just a few minutes? You can sit there on the couch. There's just… I need to give you something."
He nodded, his heart heavy with anxiety as she walked toward what was presumably her bedroom. He was tempted to shed himself of the constricting fabrics that clung to his chest and arms, but thought better of it, all things considered.
His anxiety only grew worse as he considered his tangent, thought after thought racing through his brain. What if I said too much? What if she hates me? What will she think about drug addiction? What if she comes back and shoves me right back out the front door?
But, much like a guardian angel, that beautiful, melodious voice that belonged to one Penelope Garcia rang through his ears. And suddenly, he was OK. It didn't matter if Imogen accepted him. He was there, he'd made peace, and he was purely, absolutely, wholly himself. And that was OK.
Three minutes that felt more like ten hours had passed before she came back, and with every breath Spencer took within those minutes, he felt as though he'd vomit all over her shaggy brown rug, despite the comfort in the voice that sounded through his ears.
When Imogen walked back into the room, she didn't say anything. Instead, she just placed a chestnut-colored envelope in his hand, her t's still crossed with the same curl she always used.
He didn't have to open the letter, he already knew by the smile on her face what her response would be.
Still, in the most comfortable silence he'd felt in three years, he opened the envelope, pulling out pink, floral stationery that felt just so inherently Imogen.
"Dear Spencer,
You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.
Ever again.
I mean it. - Imogen 𖤐"
"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 ��𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞." - 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐀𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧
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Welcome one and all to what was originally the end of SYGB 🥲
The last two parts were technically the epilogue but because I just couldn't get enough of Spencogen (as i'm choosing their ship name to be), I wrote a bonus chapter which is now the finale.
But could you imagine if it ended here? Open ending, not really any closure? It's kind of sad to think about.
All that aside, I hope you guys enjoyed the second of the final three SYGB chapters. I know I had a lot of fun and a lot of emotions writing this one 💖
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-> taglist: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @cat-lockwood @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @topguncultleader @mente-sindescanso @reverieofmgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @thevisionthedream @dungeons-are-too-cold @wwwonzeee @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @annahalstead5021 @cwritesforfun @soapiebear @maelartasch @buckyyyismahhlife @cynbx @hellooitsrose @rexorangecouny
☆𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒☆
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moononastring · 2 years ago
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this year had me getting into mafia books too. and i have read some really great ones, but there's also some seriously unhinged wtf is happening books too lol. the sinners anonymous books have been on my tbr list so i'm glad to see they're good. will definitely be checking them out soon. i was rec'd by my friends to try cora reilly and really enjoyed her books, especially the camorra chronicles series. also loved the made series by danielle lori. one series i was kind of meh about because of how dark it got was the beauty in lies and bellandi crime syndicate books by adelaide forrest. those get pretty intense so if you were interested i would definitely check the trigger warnings. another friend told me to try rina kent the other day and i started with one of her less dark series (empire series) as a introduction - mostly it's cause the royal elite series is like high school age and i'm not here for that tbh - and it was an experience. i will say the empire series is super light on any mafia stuff, like only 2 out of the 4 mention anything mafia related it's mostly following these partners at a law firm. anyway i really loved 3/4 of the books so for that alone i would rec, but book 1 was really not it for me. i'm surprised i continued with the series tbh cause the couple imo was gross. and it's not about the age gap or the fact it was a girl falling for her dad's best friend it was the fact that this man knew her since the day she was born and was called "uncle" for years. that alone just skeeved me out and i wish i had skipped that book cause the rest were really really good.
Mafia romance books are truly a hit or miss because if the characters can pull me in, I can handle terrible writing but if the characters suck AND it's bad writing? Why????
I definitely think Sinners Anonymous is pretty well written and engaging (not to mention pretty hot tbh). I'm excited to continue with it because I heard the next books get even better!
I read the Born in Blood series (1-5) for Cora Reilly and at the time I read them, I kid you not, I was o b s e s s e d even though IMO, they were not well-written haha. But idk what it was! It had a chokehold on me even though I remember nothing now HAHA. I'm interested in maybe reading the Camorra Chronicles. Twisted Emotions gets a lot of hype so if anything, I'd probably read book one to get to it and then see if I like it enough to continue. I enjoyed the Made series too! Books 1 and 2 more than book 3 but interested enough to read the 4th book if it ever comes out lol.
I also read the Brutal Birthright series which is very, very light on mafia that I wouldn't really call it that. They're just criminals I GUESS LOL. It was entertaining to an extent but I didn't love it. Books 4 and 6 ruined it for me.
I've heard mixed reviews about Rina Kent books! I can't read anything that has HS ages in anymore so I don't think I'd go near that series just for that. Plus that little tidbit you just shared makes me wanna vomit so PASS lol.
Another series I heard is well-loved and well-written is the Dark Verse by RuNyx! I haven't read it yet but I'm definitely interested and will likely after I finish Sinners Anonymous! If you've read it already, let me know!!
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puffpasstea · 2 years ago
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A/N: just something I’ve been thinking about.
Warnings: angst I guess? Idk how to describe it. Depression and mental illness. Please don’t read if you’re triggered by depictions of depression.
———
Harry walked into his bedroom after a long day at the studio to see his girl laying in bed, staring blankly ahead. The familiar look in her eyes broke his heart. He knew exactly what this meant.
“Hello, love.” He greeted her softly. All he got in return was a minute, barely visible nod.
He didn’t know what to do or say next. He wanted to ask her how her day was, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he already knew the answer.
“You alright?” He kicked himself internally, knowing what a dumb question that was.
Without looking at him, she grabbed her pillow off the bed, and got up. “It’s okay, Harry. I’ll just go sleep downstairs” she walked past him as she made her way out of the room.
Harry wanted to stop her, but he wasn’t even sure how. He wished he could make her feel better, or carry the pain with her, or switch places so he was the one who had to deal with it instead of her. The feeling of helplessness was always the worst part of watching her deal with a depressive episode. It left him feeling frustrated and empty, and he struggled to find an outlet for his emotions that didn’t redirect it back at her. All he knew is, he couldn’t in good faith, pretend to be okay with getting himself ready for bed or go to sleep knowing that she’s downstairs, on the couch, suffering and alone. But what could he do? Everything he wanted to say to her, about how loved she is, how he’s there for her, how he wished she didn’t have to feel this way, felt empty and hollow. He didn’t want to pressure her by making her feel guilty for feeling so broken. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of some gesture of support. A way to be of use. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind.
He considered going through her “depression checklist” with her. The list of bare minimum tasks she’d assign herself on a bad day: going outside, drinking a glass of water, eating at least one meal, taking a shower. But he figured it would make her feel worse if she hadn’t been able to do even those things all day. He knew he only had one option left, and even though it might be uncomfortable for both of them, he was going to do it anyway.
He went down into the kitchen and assembled a giant bowl of fruit, tossing in some chocolate chips and a squeeze of lemon juice, and taking it into the living room before joining her on the couch. He sat next to her, setting the bowl down in front of her and waiting. Silently waiting for her to make the first move. He kept his eyes on the TV, trying to make out the plot of the film she had on.
A half hour later, still in complete silence, Harry noticed her eyeing the fruit bowl with mild interest. He wondered to himself if she’d even eaten anything at all today. A few moments later, he saw her check it out, and lean forward like she might pick it up. She only scooped up a single piece of strawberry that had a chocolate chip stuck to it and began to nibble. Yes! His plan was working. His lips twitched as he fought to keep the smile to himself.
An hour later, she’d started slowly inching closer to him on the couch, her hand lightly brushing against his. He knew that was his cue. She’d made as much effort as she was currently capable of. It was up to him to meet her halfway. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his chest, kissing the side of her head sweetly. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and began to sob as he rubbed circles into her back soothingly….
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drabbles-mc · 2 years ago
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I’ve Got You
Juice Ortiz x F!Reader
Request by Anon: Can I please request a juice x f!reader where he falls for a girl that’s stuck in a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship and she’s in love with juice but afraid to leave her bf. Then one day juice sees bruises on her somewhere and loses it and deals with bf and juice ends up with reader please?
Warnings: 18+, abusive/toxic relationship, mentions of bruises/injuries, language, angst (with a hopeful ending)
Word Count: 7.5k (idk y’all this just turned into a beast of a fic)
A/N: Obviously there is some potentially triggering content in this so please don’t read if it’s going to upset you! Take care of yourselves out there. xo
SOA Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @espieviolet99 @mijop @chibsytelford @thanossexual @xladymacbethx @i-just-read-stuff @bport76 @unicornucopia-fuckers @buckybarneshairpullingkink @shadow-of-wonder @punkgoddess-98 @paintballkid711 @black-repunzel99 @lexondeck @jitterbugs927 @fanfic-n-tabulous @mijagif @frattsparty @winchestershiresauce @bellisperennis0 @crowfootwrites @redpoodlern​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @mveggieburger​ @xeniarocks​ @choochoo284​ @littlekittymeow​ @beardsanddetectives​ @juicyortiz​ @bruxasolta​ @i-love-scott-mccall​ @be-my-dear​ @toni9​ @passionatewrites​ (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)
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You remembered when Juice showed up in Charming. New faces tended to stick out in such a small town, but when one of those new faces had head tattoos and a mohawk, it stuck out even more. The first time you saw him, you did a double-take, and your natural assumption was that he was someone who was just passing through. He didn’t seem like the type to set up shop in a place like Charming. But then you kept seeing him around, week after week.
You made small talk and exchanged pleasantries—that was part of the gig in your line of work. He was always respectful, if not a little clumsy in his interactions with you. He always smiled when you came over, even if some days the smile seemed more genuine than others. He always ordered one of the same three or four things, always tipped well, and always tried to stack his dishes to make it easier for you to clean up after he left.
The two of you had weeks of saying hello, wishing the other a good night, and you checking with him to make sure that the food was okay. You always wanted to start a real conversation, because the more you saw him the more painfully curious you got about him, but you never knew how to go about it. You didn’t know anything about him, and vice-versa, so you didn’t push it. A lot of the time, you wished that he would be the one to start the conversation. But that was a stretch, and you wondered if he ever really noticed you in a capacity beyond the fact that you were usually the waitress who was working on the nights that he came in.
You wished that you could say that you remember the first real conversation that you had with him, but you didn’t. You just knew that one day you found yourself looking forward to your shifts at work, despite the fact that working so late into the night hadn’t been something you were initially thrilled about.
Becoming friends with Juice made you wish that you had met him sooner. Some days you couldn’t help but to think that if Juice had wandered into your life a little sooner, then everything would be a lot different, a lot better. There was a lot to be said about the fact that you felt better, safer, happier at work rather than at home. You were afraid to start unpacking what that meant, so you didn’t. You just took solace in the fact that you had your little pockets of laughter and ease when he would come in.
You heard the bell above the door chime and you looked over to see who it was, confusion rushing through you when you saw that it was your boyfriend who had just walked in. He usually showed up at the end of your shift to pick you up and drive you home, but you weren’t going to be done for another few hours yet—he knew that.
You didn’t try to hide your confusion as he approached the counter, “Hey, baby, everything alright?”
He shrugged, “Yea,” he scanned the mostly-empty diner, “You ready to go?”
Your brows knit together, “N-no? I still have a few hours left of my shift. I’m here till one tonight.”
“You said ten this morning,” he was speaking quietly, but his tone was sharp enough to make you flinch.
“I, I texted you. They need me to stay late because Kate had something with her kid and she can’t get in until—”
“Whatever,” he scoffed, shaking his head, “I’m not waiting around till one in the fucking morning.”
Your heart dropped into your stomach, “How am I supposed to get home?”
He shrugged, toying with the set of keys in his hands, “Call a cab. Figure it out.”
You hated the way your voice was wavering, “Are you serious?”
He looked shocked at the question, “Am I serious? I got work in the morning. I’m not gonna wait around.”
“But—”
“I gotta go,” there wasn’t a shred of remorse in his eyes as he turned around and started to walk away.
Tears were stinging at the edges of your eyes as he walked back out the way that he had come in. You wished that you had the guts to make a scene, to yell at him for being such an asshole, but you just couldn’t force it. Deep down, you knew that nothing would come of it even if you did. Or it would just serve to make things worse, and you didn’t need that.
Turning your back to the door, you leaned back against the counter and buried your face in your hands. Pressing at the inner corners of your eyes, you tried to fight the tears. You focused on your breathing, not wanting to lose it at work, even if there was hardly anyone in the diner at the moment. If you let yourself start crying, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to make yourself stop.
You were so wrapped up in trying to take deep breaths that you didn’t hear the chime signaling that the door opened again. Sucking in a deep breath, you slid your hands so that were resting on the sides of your face, fingers pressing against your temples like that was going to hit pause on all of the emotions swirling around inside of you.
Juice strode up, happily taking a seat at his usual spot at the counter. He waited a beat, but when you still didn’t turn around, he said, “Hey, you good?”
The sound of his voice startled you even though he wasn’t being loud at all. Whipping around, you did your best to plaster on a smile as you nodded, “Yea, I’m good,” you fought the urge to sniffle, “What can I get you, Juice?”
Despite your attempt to continue like things were business as usual, he couldn’t ignore how upset you looked. He knew that he didn’t really have the right to pry, but he had to at least ask, “You sure you’re alright?”
The laugh you let out was weighted with sadness as you tried to dismiss the question, “Just…just boyfriend stuff. It’s not a big deal, really.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
You shook your head, “You’re sweet, Juice, really. But I’m okay.”
He nervously drummed his fingers on the countertop, “Anything I can do?” He saw the way you opened your mouth, almost asking for something, before closing it again and shaking your head. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do for you, so he pressed it, “What?”
You hated feeling like you had to ask people for help in general, but to feel like you had to ask Juice, who you barely knew outside of a work context, because your boyfriend was shitty and bailed on you felt like a whole new kind of humiliating. Still, if he could it would beat paying for a cab or walking home.
“You can say no, because I know it’s late. But…but do you think that you could give me a ride home at the end of my shift?”
His eyes widened, not expecting that to be the thing that you asked for. It was an easy favor, really, and it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. You were the whole reason he came to the diner anyway. He nodded, “Of course.”
Your relief was impossible to miss, “Yea?”
He nodded, “Yea.”
You let out a sigh of relief, setting your hand on top of his for a brief moment, “Thank you, Juice. Seriously.”
“No problem.”
“I, um, I don’t get off until one. Is that too late?”
“Not at all,” he flashed you a smile, “That’s an early night for me.”
It got a soft but genuine laugh out of you, “Okay. Thank you. I’ll, I’ll grab you some coffee, then.”
The two of you didn’t talk about what had happened before Juice got there. He wanted to ask, but he could tell that it was a very precarious balance that was allowing you to keep yourself together while you were working and he didn’t want to be the one to ruin that. He watched as you worked, flitting around to the few tables that had customers at them so late at night.
You never really talked much about your boyfriend. He knew that you had one because every now and then you’d mention him in passing. But he wasn’t a topic the two of you discussed all that frequently. You never brought him up and, if Juice was being honest, he preferred it that way. It was selfish on his part, but there was always a twinge of jealousy that went through him whenever you brought the guy up. He tried to push it down and ignore it because he knew that he had no right to feel that way, but he couldn’t help it. Now, though, he wondered if he should’ve been pushing a little harder.
When someone finally came in to relieve you from your shift, you felt one weight fall from your shoulders and a whole new one fall onto them. Being done with work was nice, but going home to your boyfriend was something that you were not looking forward to in the slightest. Juice could see it on your face that your mind was somewhere else entirely as the two of you walked towards the door of the diner.
“Oh, um, I probably should’ve said it earlier,” he sounded nervous as he held the door open for you, “but I have my bike. I can bring you home still, but I just, are you comfortable riding?”
You shrugged, giving a shy smile, “I’ve never ridden before.”
“It’s not bad,” Juice reassured you as he handed you his helmet, “I’m a good driver. Promise.”
You chuckled as you clipped on the helmet, “I’ll take your word for it.”
You explained to him how to get to your house. It wasn’t terribly far, so you figured the risk for taking long turns was low. There were jitters running through you as he helped you settle behind him on the bike. You didn’t know why you felt nervous as you settled your arms around his middle, but you did. You desperately wanted to relax into him but something inside you just wouldn’t let you.
Juice turned to glance at you over his shoulder, “You good?”
“Mhm,” you nodded, trying to sound more confident than you felt, “I’m good.”
Taking one hand off the handlebar, he pulled your arms a little tighter around him, making you fall a little closer to him, “I won’t break. Promise.” You let out a soft laugh and Juice tried not to think too much about the feeling of your breath against his neck.
The ride to your house was the most relaxed that you’d felt all day. You weren’t expecting to take to riding on the back of the bike so quickly. Truthfully, you weren’t expecting to enjoy it very much at all. But it felt much safer than you thought it would, although you were sure that Juice was being much more cautious than usual since you were sitting behind him.
As he was approaching the end of your street, you spoke up, “You can drop me off here.”
“What?” his confusion was audible, “I can drop you off at your house. It’s really not a problem.”
You didn’t know how to say that you didn’t want to wake your boyfriend up, the same boyfriend who left you stranded at work to find another way to get home because he didn’t want to wait for you. Saying it out loud would reinforce how absurd the whole situation was, especially when you knew it wasn’t the first or last time that he would pull something like this. You didn’t want to unload all of that on Juice. And, aside from the inconvenience of waking him up, you knew that your boyfriend wasn’t going to like the fact that some guy you knew from work gave you a ride home on the back of his motorcycle. There were too many layers to the issues it was going to cause.
“Really,” you tried to convince him without giving any details, “It’s okay. I’m only a couple houses down the street.”
He rounded the corner onto your street, but he did bring the bike to a stop at the end. Normally he wouldn’t entertain the idea of only bringing someone about ninety-five percent of the way to their destination, but he heard the uncertainty in your voice and he didn’t know what to do with that. He watched as you carefully unhooked yourself from around him and got off the bike.
“Are you okay?” he didn’t try to water down the concern in his tone, “Do you need a place to crash for the night?”
“No,” your response came quick, and you tried to fix the panic in your voice, “I’m fine, Juice, really. I just,” you shook your head, “if I can get to bed without waking my boyfriend up and dealing with all of that, that’d be best. You know?”
He didn’t know. He had no idea. He hated the sadness in your eyes, though, the same look that you’d had on your face all night. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of someone treating you poorly. How could they?
“Can I give you my number?” the words fell out of his mouth before he could think to stop them. He cleared his throat, trying to recover, “Just, you know, in case you need anything. I don’t sleep much, so I’ll always pick up.”
“Juice, you really don’t have to—”
“I know,” he nodded, watching you fidget with the clasp on the helmet as you took it off, “But it doesn’t hurt to have it. Just in case.”
You hesitated, but you finally nodded as you handed your phone over to him, “Okay.”
His shoulders sagged in relief as he took the phone from you and started putting his number in. It crossed his mind as he did so, that it was a little strange that the two of you hadn’t done this sooner. Sure, you didn’t see each other outside of the diner, but he was there fairly frequently, and always stayed for a fairly long time so he could talk with you. He wondered what had stopped him from doing this sooner.
You handed him his helmet when he handed you your phone. Both of you didn’t quite know what came next, how you were supposed to say goodbye. The energy and tension between you were so different because of the circumstances. There was so much left unsaid, so much concern weighing down the air around you both.
“Get home safe, okay?” you finally broke the silence.
“Yea, will do,” he clipped on his helmet but he couldn’t stop looking back and forth between you and the houses on the street, “Promise me you’ll call me if you need me?”
You nodded, doing your best to force a somewhat convincing smile, “I promise. But I’m alright, Juice. Really,” stepping in, you hugged him as best you could while you were standing and he was still sitting on the bike, “Thanks for the ride.”
You started walking towards your house, and every step of the way you had to make a conscious effort not to look back over your shoulder at Juice. It wasn’t until you started walking up your driveway that you heard the sound of his motorcycle taking off. Resting your forehead against your front door, you took a deep breath before slipping the key into the lock and letting yourself inside.
Doing your best to move as silently as possible, you toed off your shoes and dropped your purse by the door. Tip-toeing down the hall to the bedroom, you silently stripped off your work clothes and pulled on an old t-shirt and shorts to go to bed in. Your boyfriend was sleeping peacefully on his side of the mattress, looking perfectly unbothered as he snored and slept away the fact that he had left you stranded only a few hours before. Shaking your head at yourself and at him, you slowly and carefully slipped underneath the covers next to him, turning so that you were lying on your side with your back to him. You glanced over at your nightstand and stared at your phone, and for a moment you contemplated calling Juice to come back and get you.
You were woken up a few hours later by the sounds of your boyfriend getting ready for work. It took a few moments, but you finally forced your eyes open to see how close he was to being ready to leave for the day. Once he was gone you fully intended to go right back to sleep.
“See you made it home,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on.
You wanted to have a snarky comment, but more than an argument you just wanted him out of the house, “Yea.”
“How’d that happen?”
Nothing that you did the night before had been wrong. Nothing weird or bad had happened between you and Juice, but you knew that that wouldn’t matter. If he knew that some guy gave you a ride home on the back of his motorcycle, he was going to lose his shit. You didn’t have the energy to deal with that.
“I just called a cab,” you lied.
He nodded, standing up after he tied the laces of his work boots, “Good. Maybe next time you’ll remember to tell me when your schedule changes.”
You did tell him. You could grab your phone and show him the message you sent him as soon as you found out. But, again, you just wanted him out, “Right.”
“I’ll be home in time to bring you in tonight,” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, a gesture that should’ve felt soft and sweet but it didn’t, “I’ll see you later, babe.”
You nodded, falling back against your pillow as he walked toward the bedroom door, “Bye.”
Despite your initial plans to go back to sleep the second he left, once you heard the front door slam shut behind him, your ability to sleep completely left you. You laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to figure out how it all got this bad. You didn’t remember when your whole life started revolving around when he decided he could make time for you. It wasn’t always like that, he wasn’t always like that, but yet here you both were.
When you finally resigned yourself to the fact that you were awake for the day, you forced yourself to get out of bed and shower. The hot water made you feel a little better, but it did nothing to curb the intense exhaustion that was buried deep in your bones. You made yourself breakfast and a cup of coffee and tried to figure out what to do with your day until he came back home to bring you to work. You were hoping that sooner rather than later your body would shut down and you’d be able to take a nap to try and catch up on missed hours of sleep, but you weren’t going to hold your breath.
When you’d caught up on cleaning around the house that afternoon and you still weren’t any closer to falling asleep for a while, you decided that for once you just didn’t feel like waiting around for your boyfriend to come and get you. Part of you was tempted to call a cab and just head to town for a little bit, just to get out and have some time to yourself before you had to work, but before you could follow through on that you found yourself grabbing your cellphone and calling Juice instead.
True to his word, he picked up almost immediately, “Hello?”
“Hey,” you hated how nervous you sounded, “It’s me.”
He chuckled, “Hey, everything alright?”
“Yea. I, um,” you realized that you didn’t really know what exactly that it was you wanted from him besides wanting to see him and also not be home anymore, “I was just wondering if you were free? Maybe wanted to get a cup of coffee?”
He wasn’t expecting that, “Oh. Um, yea, definitely. Do you…do you want me to come pick you up?”
“If you can. If not, no worries I can just—”
“I got it,” you could hear rustling coming from his end of the line and you had the feeling that he was already about to be on his way to you, “I’ll see you in a few.”
“Okay,” you managed a laugh, “Thank you, Juice.”
“Anytime.”
It didn’t take him long at all to get to your house, which told you he was either close by or speeding, and both were equally likely. He parked at the end of your driveway and you were already out your front door before he could walk up and knock. He smiled at the sight of you not in your work uniform for once, although when he spotted the bag hanging off your shoulder, he assumed that that’s what was inside of it.
“I brought a spare this time,” he held a helmet out to you, a proud smile on his face.
You laughed as you took it from him, “Thank you. So,” you asked as you clipped and adjusted the helmet on your head, “You know any good places for coffee?”
He laughed as you climbed onto the bike behind him, “I usually go to you.”
You chuckled as you wrapped your arms around him, feeling a little more comfortable with it than you had the night before, “There’s no way the diner coffee is that good.”
He was glad that you couldn’t see the embarrassed look on his face, “Yea, guess I don’t really go there for the coffee.”
You assumed that he had thought of another place to go, because before you knew it he was taking off out of your driveway and cruising down the road. You found yourself melting into him in a way that you hadn’t before, but he didn’t seem to mind. Your chest was pressed flush against his back, hands interlocked in front of him. Juice didn’t make a habit of taking girls for rides on his bike, but even if he had he was sure that it wouldn’t have felt quite like this.
He came to a stop on the main street that cut through Charming. Looking around, you spotted a coffee spot that you hadn’t ever noticed before despite how long you had been in Charming. You were so in your usual routine that you never took the time to branch out all that much anymore. You wondered how often Juice came here.
Like he could read your thoughts, Juice spoke as he hung his helmet on the handlebar of his bike, “I’ve never been here, but a guy I work with swears by it.”
“Yea?” Juice had mentioned some of the men in the club before, but never quite like that, “You trust his opinion?”
He shrugged, laughing, “Yea. He’s weird but he’s pretty spot-on when it comes to food.”
The two of you sat at one of the small tables by the large front windows. It was so different to be across from him but on the same playing field for once. You were just existing with him as a person, not as a waitress serving a customer. It felt different to you, but it was nice.
Juice’s friend from work had been right—the coffee was very good. But the drinks became a bit of an afterthought the longer that the two of you sat together and talked. It was nice to not have the interruptions that came when you were at work. You didn’t have to step away mid-story to take care of someone else or run something back to the kitchen. You just got to sit across from him and enjoy his company undisturbed.
You were pretty sure that you could sit and listen to Juice talk all day and never get tired of it. You always looked forward to him coming in to see you, sure, but now that it was essentially just the two of you spending time together, it hit you just how much you found comfort in his company. There was a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time.
Every time that you smiled or laughed, Juice became mesmerized all over again. Ever since he stumbled across you in the first place all that time ago, he always felt a little better when he was around you. He wouldn’t have been able to explain it to someone if he tried, but there was just something about you that drew him in. He didn’t know what to do with that feeling, knowing that trying to act on it at all would be futile, but that fact didn’t stop him from always circling back to you over and over again. It didn’t feel real that he was really able to sit across a table from you and spend time with you like this. He kept waiting for it to be a dream that he was going to get woken up from.
“Thank you,” you said when there was a pause in the conversation, you couldn’t quite force yourself to meet his eyes as you spoke, “I really needed this.”
Something in the tone of your voice made his heart soften a bit, “No problem. I told you, anytime you need me, I’ll be there.”
His words felt so genuine. There was so much more that you wanted to say, answers to unasked questions that you wanted to give him. But you didn’t want to pop the bubble that the two of you had been in since he came and picked you up. Maybe another time you would try to scratch the surface of the mess you now found yourself in.
The two of you jumped back into lighter conversation again, completely losing track of time as you sat and talked. Part of you was almost tempted not to go to work just so that you could stay with him a little while longer. One night off wouldn’t be the end of the world. How were you supposed to tear yourself away from the man sitting across from you?
You were just about to start telling him another story when your phone started to go off in your pocket. You shot him an apologetic smile as you pulled it out to see who was calling. All of the warmth and joy that had been coursing through you immediately dissipated when you saw the name that was flashing on the screen. Juice noticed the immediate change in your demeanor but before he could ask you answered the call, holding the phone up to your ear.
“Hel—”
You didn’t even get the greeting out before your boyfriend’s voice boomed from the other end of the line, “Where the fuck are you?!”
You cringed, pulling the phone away from your ear in an attempt to ease the blow, “I just—”
“You didn’t think to fucking tell me where you were going to be? I flew here from work so I could get you to your fucking job. And now you’re not even fucking here?!”
Tears were filling your eyes as you tried to get a sentence out before he cut you off again, “I just went to get coffee with a friend.”
His laugh was cruel, “A friend? What fucking friend?”
“You don’t—”
“I hope that friend can get you to work tonight. Because you’re on your own.”
Your lip was quivering and you were trying not to completely break down, “Listen, pl—”
“I’ve got nothing else to fucking say to you.”
You were about to respond but before you could the line went dead. Shutting your eyes tight, you tried to ignore the tears that slipped out onto your cheeks. Dropping your phone on the surface of the table, you buried your face in your hands, shoulders shaking as you started to cry.
Juice had never in his life felt so simultaneously angry and helpless. He was caught between wanting to hold you, and wanting to take off and put an end to the man who made you cry like that. He’d only heard parts of his side of the conversation, but that was all he needed to hear. No wonder you never really seemed to talk about the guy.
He gave you a moment before speaking very softly, “Hey,” he waited for you to finally look at him, “what do you need?”
You tried to take a deep breath and almost succeeded. Wiping the tears off of your face, you said, “A ride to work.”
His brows furrowed in confusion, “You’re…you’re still gonna go to work?”
You shrugged helplessly, “Where else am I gonna go?”
He was at a total loss, “I mean, I…I can bring you to work. I just feel like, I don’t know, like maybe we should…” he didn’t know how he wanted to end that sentence.
You shook your head at him, your breathing starting to even out a bit, “It’s fine. Really. I promise,” you propped your elbows on the table and rested your head against your fingertips for a moment, “Whenever he gets like this, he’s always cooled off by the time I get home.”
“Is that what happened last night?” it wasn’t his business but he couldn’t not ask.
You nodded, not able to look him in the eye as you did, “Yea.”
His heart broke for you, “I get it if you don’t wanna stay with me. But really, we should find you somewhere else to crash. I can ask—”
“Juice,” you reached across the table and gently took hold of his forearm, thumb tracing back and forth as you spoke, “it’ll be fine. I know how to handle this. Really,” the frown on his face almost made you backpedal, but you knew that staying away wasn’t going to make things any better for you at home, “Please, right now, I just need a ride to work.”
He hated it, but he wasn’t going to tell you no, either, “Okay.”
You gave his arm a light squeeze, “Okay.”
When he parked outside of the diner, you saw that he went to get off of his motorcycle and go in with you. Handing him your helmet, you tried to stop him, “You don’t have to go in with me, Juice, really. It’s fine.”
“It didn’t sound fine,” he tried not to sound confrontational at all.
“I know,” you couldn’t really argue his point—he was right, “But I got it under control, okay?”
He wasn’t looking for an argument, but he couldn’t pretend that anything about the situation was sitting right with him, “You’ll call me if anything happens?”
You couldn’t remember the last time it felt like someone cared so much, “I will,” putting your arms around him, you wrapped him in a tight hug, like if you held him close enough to you that the rest of it all would just fall away, “I’m sorry, Juice, for all of this. But thank you.”
He tucked his chin against your shoulder, wishing that he could just scoop you up and whisk you away, “You don’t gotta apologize. Just, you know, be safe, alright?”
You could feel it in the way that he held you that he didn’t want to let go, “I will.”
Peeling yourself away from him, you made your way towards the diner. As you reached the door, you turned back to Juice, who was in the same spot, same position as when you’d walked away. For a moment you thought that he really was just going to get off his bike and stay with you for your entire shift. You appreciated his concern, not sure what to do with it. You offered up a small wave to him before entering the building, leaving the both of you to wonder how things were going to play out, leaving both of you to wonder about it alone.
Juice didn’t see you for a few days after that. He wanted to call, but he had a hunch that it might just make things worse for you. He showed up at the diner every day around the time that he would usually see you there, but there was always someone else working. He asked the other waitress that he saw around a lot if she had seen you or heard from you, but she didn’t give him anything. He understood why, but he wished that she would’ve told him something.
He showed up again, knowing that if he didn’t see you there tonight, that he would leave and go to your house himself, consequences be damned. It wasn’t like you to be gone for so long. He took a deep breath as he walked to the door. He was already looking through the glass paneling of it for you before he opened the door and stepped inside. His heart dropped into his stomach when he didn’t see you behind the counter. He was about to turn on his heel and take off when the door to the kitchen swung open, and out you strode with a tray held above your head. You had a smile stitched onto your face as you walked up to the table of customers you were serving, but Juice could see it in your eyes that it was fake. He was relieved to see you, but the knot in his stomach persisted as he wondered where you’d been, what had happened to you.
He sat down at the counter and quietly waited for you to come back over. You were so zoned out, just trying to get through the motions, that you almost didn’t recognize that it was him sitting there. You saw a person in your peripheral, so you instinctively grabbed a menu and got ready to do the usual customer service spiel. However, when you stopped in front of him and finally looked at him, your heart stopped in your chest for a moment.
“Juice,” you set the menu down, not sure what to say, “hey.”
His eyes searched yours intently, looking for something that he wasn’t finding, “Hey. How…how are you?”
You nodded, fiddling with the towel that was draped over your shoulder, “I’m okay. You?”
He sounded so small as he said, “I’ve been worried about you.”
You frowned, not because you were upset with him, but because you were upset with yourself, “I’m sorry.”
He immediately shook his head, “No, no, don’t be. I just…you weren’t here. I wanted to call you but I didn’t know…”
You leaned on your side of the counter, offering a shrug because you didn’t know what else to do, “I wish I had a good answer. Things just, you know, got a little messy.”
“But you’re okay?”
You didn’t want to break his heart by telling him the truth, so you nodded, “Yea, I’m okay,” reaching across the counter, you placed your hand over his, interlocking your fingers to give his hand a squeeze, “Thank you.”
Looking down, you both saw the same thing at the same time. Your sleeve slid up when you reached across, revealing bruises all in different phases of healing dotting your forearm. Juice knew those types of bruises only came from someone grabbing onto you with some serious force. His heart plummeted as he wondered what bruises you had that he couldn’t see.
You quickly pulled your hand back to you, pushing your sleeves down as far as they could go, “Juice, don’t—”
“Did he do that to you?” he sounded fairly calm despite the rage that was bubbling up inside of him.
“I’m not talking about this here,” you shook your head, feeling your body starting to tremble as you thought back on all of it.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he was desperately trying to keep himself in check, not wanting to scare you more than you already were, but he was already having racing thoughts about what he was going to do to the person who left those marks on you, “Just tell me: did he do that to you?”
You could see the anger in him and while it should’ve scared you, it didn’t. You found yourself nodding as you tried to steady your trembling hands. You didn’t know what was going to happen next, but you could feel it in your gut that this was going to be a conversation that changed everything.
“How much longer on your shift?” he asked.
You shook your head, trying to sound as normal as possible, “Only about another hour or so. I started early today so…”
He nodded, “Okay,” he paused, “You…you can’t go back to him tonight.”
“Juice, I—”
“You can’t,” he sounded desperate.
Your lip quivered, “Where am I gonna go?”
“You can stay with me until we figure it out, okay?”
“Okay.”
He nodded, and that was the last that the two of you talked about it. You tried your hardest to slip back into your work persona but it wasn’t easy. You poured Juice a cup of coffee before going off and taking care of the other customers. You felt Juice watching you as you made your rounds. He held onto the coffee mug in front of him but he didn’t take a single sip, mind racing.
When it came time for you to clock out, you almost didn’t want to. Juice stood up from his spot at the counter, and the certainty that he carried himself with gave you some reassurance. You gathered up your things, said goodbye to the other staff who were there, and then quietly followed Juice out to his bike.
Neither of you said anything as you got onto the bike behind him. To think that it wasn’t long ago at all that you’d never even come close to a motorcycle, but now settling in behind Juice felt second-nature to you. It was a tiny bit of comfort in the midst of the worry clouding your mind.
It wasn’t long before he rolled into his driveway. You felt frozen on the bike, and if he didn’t gently clasp his hands over yours, you weren’t sure if you would’ve had it in you to move. You managed it, though. You followed him up the front steps of his house, standing silently as he unlocked the front door and held it open for you to walk in before him.
Looking around, you supposed that his place was about what you had expected. You never gave much thought to what Juice’s house looked like, but it was nice enough. Sparse, sort of what you’d expect from a single man living on his own. It was clean, organized. You were sure that under different circumstances you would’ve felt comfortable there.
Juice gave you a quick tour, pointing out the guest room, the bathroom, and where he kept stuff in the kitchen in case you got hungry. You assumed your stomach would be riddled with too many knots to eat, but you appreciated the gesture.
“You can shower if you want,” he felt bad leaving you but it wasn’t going to be for too long, “Anything here is yours, alright?”
“Alright,” you nodded, twisting your hands nervously.
“I won’t be gone that long. Promise. And I can, I can grab you some of your stuff if you want?”
You nodded, not sure what else to do at that point, “Okay.”
He gently pulled you into a hug, not wanting to scare you or hurt your further, “You’re gonna be fine. I got you.”
That was the last thing that he said before taking back off out the door. You watched from the front window as he called someone on the phone, not that you could hear what was being said. In the blink of an eye Juice was on the back of his bike and taking off down the road, leaving you there to wait for whatever came next.
You did a little snooping around his house, just to keep yourself busy more than anything. You didn’t find anything all that concerning. You contemplated cashing in on the, “What’s mine is yours,” sentiment when you found one of his week stashes, but you refrained. It might’ve done the trick to calm your frayed nerves, though.
You wanted to shower, to wash off everything that you had been thinking and feeling since Juice walked into the diner. But you didn’t want to shower just to have to change back into your work clothes. So, instead, after doing some snooping, then trying and failing to watch something on TV, you made your way to the guest room that Juice had pointed out.
You laid down on top of the comforter, resting your phone on the pillow next to your head so that you wouldn’t miss a call or a text from Juice. You weren’t sure what he would even say, what was even happening, but you knew that you couldn’t afford to miss anything.
At some point you must’ve fallen asleep, but you didn’t remember doing so. You didn’t even remember your eyes starting to feel heavy. But you were woken up some time later by the feeling of the mattress dipping next to you. Your eyes flew open and you shot upright, fumbling to brace yourself.
Juice was sitting there, looking exhausted and guilty for not only waking you up, but for scaring you. The ends of his mouth lifted into the smallest smile you’d ever seen on him, one that was tired and apologetic.
“Sorry,” he whispered, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
You shook your head, trying to get your heartrate and breathing back under control, “It’s okay,” looking at him a little closer, you realized that he wasn’t in the same clothes that he left in, and that he smelled like body wash, like he’d just gotten out of the shower, “What happened?”
“You’re safe,” he nodded, voice still soft.
You were comforted but also conflicted, “Juice, what—”
Even though he cut you off, his voice was still gentle, “He’s not going to hurt you ever again,” he nodded, resting his hand gently on your leg, “You’re safe.”
Tears sprung into your eyes again as you nodded, trembling as you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder. Your body shook as you started to cry, and Juice did the only thing he knew how to do and he moved closer to you so that he could hold onto you. You gripped tightly onto the fabric of his t-shirt, balling the fabric up in your hands as you pulled yourself as close to him as you could.
Minutes passed by until the both of you lost track of them. It was long enough for you to soak Juice’s shirt in tears, not that he minded at all. He’d hold you for days if that was what you needed. He was fully prepared to do that. He also understood if you pulled away and decided that you couldn’t ever look him in the eyes again. He wasn’t quite as prepared for that, but he knew it could be a possibility.
When you finally pulled away to wipe the last of the tears from your face, Juice prepared himself for the fallout of it all. He waited for you to look at him, and when you did, he had no idea what to make of the look he saw in your eyes.
“Do you need anything?” he asked, “I can go get you—”
“No,” you shook your head, grabbing his hand, “please, stay with me.”
He felt the tension melt out of him as he nodded, “Okay, yea, of course.”
You collapsed back against the mattress and pillow, lying on your side so that you were facing Juice. He scooted closer to you on the bed, his face only an inch or so away from yours. He wanted to reach out and hold you, pull you closer, but he didn’t want to push things too far. Reaching out, you rested your palm against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat. In turn, he placed his hand lightly on your hip, not noticing or caring that you were still in your clothes from earlier. He watched as your eyes slowly started to flutter shut. You wanted to say thank you, and he wanted to promise you that nothing would ever hurt you ever again, but neither of you said anything. Instead, you both drifted closer on the mattress until you were chest to chest, legs tangled. Even though you knew you weren’t going to actually fall asleep, it was the most peaceful that you’d felt in a long time.
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januaryembrs · 3 years ago
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CREEDS, CUBS AND CAMPFIRES | Geralt x Assassin!reader
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Description: You and the Witcher spend the day bickering, leaving you with a serious conversation as to how to help Ciri.
Length: 3k
Trigger Warnings: arguing? idk nothing really
main masterlist
MORE OF ‘THE ASSASSIN’S CREED AND THE WITCHER’S CUB' UNIVERSE
Note: this follows straight on from the last imagine (check masterlist above)
You stood straighter from where you holding Ciri to your chest. The mammoth of a man stared at you viciously, your knife still in his hand with a subtle point towards you as though he was still ready to fight if necessary. As if you were the intruder here.
You narrowed your eyes at the man, your left arm clutching the young girl to your body as you pointed your own weapon to him. “Who the fuck are you?” You challenged, looking him up and down, “Why do you have the Princess of Cintra?”
What was Ciri doing all this way from home? Had this man kidnapped her? Surely Queen Calanthe would be losing her marbles without the little cub by her side, you thought.
You felt Ciri’s gentle hands release you slightly, pulling away to look up at you with the brightest blue eyes you had missed as if she were your own. “Y/N, it’s alright, I went with him willingly,” She explained, as if to have read your mind, “Geralt saved me after Cintra fell.”
After Cintra fell.
Your blood ran cold, and the shock must have registered on your face as you looked down at the soft girl in surprise.
“What?” You breathed, checking her over for injuries at the new information. “What do you mean Cintra fell?”
“The Nilfgaardian’s stormed the castle,” Ciri replied quietly, her eyes dropping to the forest floor. You took that as a sign as to what had happened, why she was out here with a strange man alone.
“Calanthe?” You asked somberly. You knew what would have happened. The queen would have never allowed herself to be captured, nor would she have left Cirilla to navigate the continent without her unless something grave had happened to her.
You fears were confirmed when the younger girl did nothing but nod, her eyes still not meeting yours as you heard a sniffle of sadness. Before you could even reach out to comfort her the way that felt second nature to you, she had thrown her arms around you again, burying her face in your stomach the way she did when she was just a little girl.
“It’s all gone, Y/N. Home, it’s all gone,” She mumbled into your cloak, as you stroked the back of her head soothingly.
You had never seen the Cintran cub look so scared, so dejected, though it was understandable for her situation. You couldn’t imagine what she had been through escaping the one place she’d felt safest, leaving her Grandmother, the mighty Lioness, to die at the hands of her enemies. You had only been acquitted of your duty as her bodyguard for barely a year, and you almost shuddered at the turmoil that had happened since then.
You wished you had fought harder for your job that day, begged harder for Calanthe to hear you out. But your pride had gotten in the way. You’d thought it was beneath a woman of your capabilities to beg for forgiveness, a highly trained assassin is no cuddly business.
And yet you looked down at Ciri’s sobbing form, what had become of her since you had been forced to leave, and you felt like such a fool.
“Ciri-” You began, but the cub cut your apology off before you could get it out.
“Please don’t leave me again, please,” She begged, and you felt your heart crack, “Nothing makes sense anymore, I need you. I don’t know who I can trust besides Geralt,”
You gathered from the circumstances that the hulk of a man staring at the two of you was this Geralt. You paid him no mind for the moment, focused on calming the girl who was begging for you to stay. Ciri was humble like that, as she ever was. Unlike you, she wasn’t above showing the world how she felt, you'd always felt you had a lot to learn from her like that.
“Come now, silly girl,” Your voice was soft, softer than it had been in months that you hadn’t spoken to a soul that way. This tone was reserved for her and her only. You had yet to find anyone who touched your heart quite like Cirilla had in the years you’d seen her grow up. Even those in your creed, the brothers and sisters you devoted your life to working alongside each had a coldness about them, it was natural in a profession such as yours to not become so easily attached. But Ciri always had a way of softening your killer’s heart, since she was just a baby. “No god or demon in this world could separate me from you again, you hear?”
You tugged her closer once more, and the girl seemed to preen all the more towards you from the comfort of familiarity. It was then, as you stood once more, Ciri settling herself practically attached to you at your hip, and finally looked up at the man you had been tussling with in a moment of confusion, your gaze clashing with two piercing amber eyes that looked at you warily.
“So,” You started in a stern yet civil tone, “You must be Geralt.”
»»-----------►
“Tell him the one about the pirate king and the barmaid!” Ciri commanded from her place in front of you on your steed. Your group had decided to head off towards wherever Geralt had decided he was taking the young girl for safe keeping, some place deep in the mountains named Kaer Morhen you thought he’d said.
Ciri, being Ciri, was nothing short of ecstatic you were here with your bounty of stories you’d told her when she was growing up, and had been spouting off for the past thirty minutes of riding about how great it would be now you were here to share them with Geralt too. Truly, you just think she was trying to clear the air since you and the man had had such a tense introduction to one another.
You chuckled behind her, sneaking a glance to the white haired man she was talking about, only to find him staring at you stonily already. He didn’t seem a very cheerful person, nor did he seem upset or angry. He was just wooden.
Though you guessed that had something to do with his own profession. You’d heard stories of how young Witcher’s were beaten within an inch of their life until they learnt to let go of their emotions; how true it was you didn’t know but you weren’t exactly prepared to ask just yet.
“I’m sure the big, scary Witcher doesn’t want to hear my stories, Ciri,” You teased the two of them. The blonde girl huffed, annoyed you’d deprived her of an exciting ten minutes of tall tales she’d cherished all these years. You saw Geralt’s head turn to look at you from his place on his own fawny mare.
“So you do know what I am,” His deep voice spoke for the first time since he’d announced where you were heading. He’d left no room for questioning, though you’d pretty much just told Ciri that you were tagging along no matter where she was heading so you couldn’t really protest. “It didn’t seem to affect you too much when you were trying to kill me. I think you ought to tell me why?”
You snickered to yourself as you remembered his shocked face as you’d assaulted him from the tree above him. Even under your hood you could see his alarmed yellow irises as you grabbed him in a chokehold, and it unwittingly pleased you to have matched a man of his size and skill. Not that you were unused to the feeling, that is.
“Why what?” You asked tersely.
“Why couldn’t I hear your heart beat? Why were you able to deflect my charm? Better yet, why were you trying to kill me in the first place? Did someone send you?” He asked viciously. You didn’t know whether you had damaged his pride, or whether he was just confused how you had such talents that no other human had, such as hiding your body’s sounds. Either way, a wry grin made it’s way onto your face to see him so perplexed by your very existence.
“Witcher’s aren’t the only ones who can cast charms, Geralt,” The way you said his name so baitingly frustrated him even more, knowing you were taunting him by keeping your secrets to yourself just that bit longer.
“Ciri said you were human,” He replied with a frown.
“I am. But there are some in my brotherhood that have chaos training,” You explained, willing him to take the chase and ask you more.
Like a hound to a rabbit, he took it.
“Your brotherhood?”
“Yes,” Was all you said, remaining silent once more. You almost giggled to yourself seeing how your lack of explanation had him tense up again as if you were a puzzle box that just would not open for him.
“Who’s your brotherhood then?” His tone was deeper now, more accusing than it had been as you successfully had pissed him off more.
“You wouldn’t know us, it’s more of an invite only thing,” You said dryly, making Ciri snicker as she lightly smacked your wrist holding the reins.
“Stop teasing him, he wants to know if he can sleep soundly tonight,” She chided, and your eyes narrowed at the man in a smug expression.
“Don’t worry, Witcher. You’re not my target,” You finally said, putting his concern to rest, “I was tracking a target over this way. The only description I was given was that he was a man in a dark cloak. You just happened to fit that profile, unfortunately,” You explained, and you saw him shift on top of his horse indignantly.
“By target you mean…” He led off, waiting for you to confirm what he suspected of your profession.
“He was supposed to have some information on some odd happenings in my brotherhood. However, I saw you ready to strike first so I took it as talking was out of the question.”
“Hmm,” He grunted back, and your trio fell into a silence where only your horses hooves could be heard through the thicket. That is, ofcourse, until Geralt opened his mouth to once more get to the bottom of your presence around him and his child surprise. “This brotherhood you speak of - you’re assassin’s aren’t you?”
“You got there eventually, huh?” You taunted, and Ciri giggled in front of you, “Are you going to grill me for information any more or can we stop for some lunch soon?”
“He’s normally not so talkative,” Cirilla chimed in, making Geralt’s eyes snap towards her in a glare. Traitor, he seemed to say, though the blonde girl paid no attention as she seemed to swell with joy under your approving laugh. Great, there’s two of them now, he thought to himself as your teasing nature had an immediate effect on the princess’s quiet character. “It’s all hmph or mm,”
You chuckled, squeezing her sides with your inner elbows in a small hug. You truly had missed the cub more than you could ever say. The past few months you’d spent back with your brothers, tracking targets and just simply surviving amidst the chaos of the politics had been so cold, lonely, without the girl you saw as your own.
“There’s a town an hour up the road we can stop at for food, give the horses a rest,” Geralt said icily and you took that as he was easing off asking you questions, for now at least. You nodded in acknowledgement, and you were plunged into another silence briefly.
Until Cirilla piped up once more with the enthusiasm of a child that had missed her best friend and the epic sagas she brought with her.
“Tell him about the time you fought a Minotaur!”
»»-----------►
You can’t remember the last time you’d had company around a campfire. Usually you would find an inn or see a trusted friend of the creed to keep you for the night, but Geralt had explained they were trying to keep Ciri out of prying eyes as much as possible on their travels to this Kaer Morhen. So, the woods it was.
The fire licked into the inky night air as you sat subdued in front of it, bellies full with the few rabbits you’d caught for your trio. Ciri was curled up on her coat, your cloak strewn over her to give her some more warmth. From here, with your lack of outerwear, Geralt could see your face much clearer than he had done all day. You seemed to be in midthought as you stared at the younger girl, something between sadness and concern flitting over your face, before it melted away, as if you’d just remembered you were with company.
As if he’d read your mind, your soft eyes flicked to his direction, where you caught him staring, and they hardened tenfold at the sight.
“What’s a trained killer like yourself doing watching over the princess of Cintra?” He asked deeply, voice quietened so as to not wake up said girl.
You huffed, your hot breath coming out as a cloud in front of your face. “I really get under that mutated skin of yours, don’t I?”
“Call me crazy but I want to know who the fuck I’m taking to my home considering you’re an experienced assassin,” His low rumble of an answer snapped at you, “Now answer the question,”
You stared at him for a beat, eyes narrowing at his acutely nasty tone almost daring you to tell him an answer he didn’t like. “Calanthe hired me to be sure no one would make an attempt on her family’s lives. My brotherhood received rumours one of her council lord’s were planning something dark; I was the one who rode to Cintra to warn her and so we made the deal on the spot,”
“You seem closer to her than just a bodyguard,” He prompted. He seemed to have dialled down his hostility a touch, but there still had yet to be any trace of an emotion other than cold and calculating grace his face. You guessed, from what Ciri had said, that that was normal though.
You smirked to yourself, as if to remember a past time fondly, “Let’s just say the nanny had no idea how to look after a child and I felt bad for the little one,”
He didn’t know why he’d gotten so mad when he saw how carefree Ciri seemed around you. Call him childish, but the way she’d joked with you, clung to you like you were blood to her, like you were her saving grace from him made him wonder what he had been doing that was so awful before you’d come to make it bearable for the girl. He knew he could be icy, that was just a side effect of the trials, but it stung to see Ciri so desperate for someone else to care for her other than him.
It made him wonder if he should have even come to her in the first place, though he would never say it. Geralt wondered if she’d have been better off without him all together.
That’s probably why he said what he did.
“And yet you left her when she needed you,” Geralt knew he shouldn’t have dealt such a low blow. Maybe his quick temper and insecure feelings at his skills as a protector, or maybe it was his lack of remorse he'd learnt from his trials, but he knew it had cut you deep.
Your face contorted at his jab, and you looked over the flickering logs at him with an anger he guessed was the last thing a lot of people ever saw. “You know nothing, Witcher.” You seethed, “Besides, what took you so long to reach your child surprise?” His head drew back at the fact you knew more about him than he’d thought. Your eyes narrowed at the movement, locking into his shock like a dog biting down, “Do you think Calanthe wouldn’t tell me to keep her away from the White Wolf that was coming to take her granddaughter based on some bullshit supernatural law? Where were you for the past sixteen years? Cause I was there, not you.”
As you seemed to be good at by now, the two of you fell quiet. You couldn’t tell either of them why you had left, Ciri would hate you, she would never trust you again if she knew. And yet, the Witcher’s words had stung badly, because the only thing that had been on your mind since you saw her standing there so helplessly was that you should have been there for her.
“I’m sorry,” Geralt said quietly, the venom in your voice telling him just how hurt you were by his snide comment. “I shouldn’t have said that,”
“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black,” You hummed in agreement, fidgeting with your hidden blades as you always did, as if you were reminding him and yourself what you could do if he carried on with his piss poor attitude. “Look, we do not need to be friends. You will never be my friend. We just need to be there for Ciri,” You said, looking down at the girl who was curled up under your cloak, soundly sleeping. You didn’t care that the biting chill of the wind was tugging at your own skin, as long as she was comfortable. “Poor girl’s lost enough as it is without us two robbing her sanity with childish bickering,”
“I agree,” Geralt said, watching you settle yourself against a tree, your arms crossed over your chest. It was the first time all day he could properly note how pretty you were, for an elite killer that was. “Goodnight,”
“Sleep tight,” You replied emptily, knowing full well you didn’t care if he had the worst sleep of his life.
So it was set. The two of you would never be friends, that much was clear, but co-parenting a princess on the run, that was another game altogether.
»»-----------►
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buckymetalarm · 2 years ago
Text
Summary : Idk guys I couldn't think of a better title. Anyways, in this one  y/n finds out bucky was playing with her to impress his friends. She goes to confront him. It doesn't end well. 3.7k 
Warnings: foul language, flashbacks in italics, italics and bold is y/n's thoughts,  angst, lot of angst, body shaming, slut shaming, locker room thing kinda , asshole Bucky, none of them are avengers in this world, just normal assholes, also I feel like it might be a trigger warning for people who had emotionally abusive boyfriends
A/n: IDK I get stupid ideas and I want to write one-shots or short stories about them because I can't commit to long-term things. Anyways this is angsty and low-key heartbreaking?  I am obsessed with Bucky right now so all the ideas I come up with would be Bucky related. 
"So what? This was all just a joke to you?" y/n questioned him. She was on the verge of crying. Her heart was shattered and her trust broken. But she refused to shed a single tear in front of Bucky. She was foolish enough to fall for the most cliché shit ever- The new girl falling for the bad boy only to find out it was all over a bet. In her defense, the plot was a bit different but she had been played all the same.
So she refused to cry in front of him in a feeble attempt to gather the last shred of her dignity. She refused to give him that satisfaction. Instead, she balled her hands in a fist and hardened her features. 
"Oh wait. It wasn't just a joke. It was another mission. Another game. Yet another girl to play." she stated. 
She was yet another notch in his belt. Just another trophy he can flash around and boast about to his trashy friends. 
And that stung. 
"Cat got your tongue, Barnes?" she sneered. She continued to glare at the man she thought she knew as she awaited his response. She folded her arms on her chest anticipating a fight. For him to say something, anything. Maybe yell at her for checking his phone behind his back. Or deny his involvement altogether. Blame it on someone else. She wished for him to feed her lies. Oh, how she wished all of this to be a lie. 
She knew how pathetic it sounded that she wanted to be comforted by lies instead of facing the truth. She already knew that and she hated herself for it. But the truth was too heavy for her. She couldn't bear it. Cause if she was to accept that it was all a lie from the moment he befriended her to what happened just a few days ago, it would mean that everything that happened between them was fake. All the late-night confessions, the vulnerability they shared, the naked truths, all of it was just a lie. A facade. Just an act. One fucking elaborate act designed to break her heart and leave her in shambles. 
And she couldn't face it yet. The pain was too much for her.  
Bucky stood there speechless as he tried to decipher her body language. She was always such a mystery to him. He hated how he could never figure her out. But her eyes, he had learned, betrayed her. 
He could see the whirlwind of emotions in her eyes. Read them so clearly. He couldn't help but remember that one night they had spent under the stars and he had told her that her eyes were enchanting. 
"You know you have the most beautiful eyes in the whole world?" he whispered. Y/n blushed in response.
He was looking at her with such intensity that it made goosebumps rise in her arms. They were full of emotions she couldn't decipher but they were so strong that it made her shiver.
His smoldering eyes made her feel seen. Like actually seen. Like he was staring at her naked soul.
"You are such a mystery, y/l/n. But your eyes. They are the window to your soul. They betray you. " he revealed.
"Do they now?"
"Mhmm" he nodded. "I can tell you exactly what you are feeling right now just by reading your eyes."
"I don't believe you."
"Alright then. Challenge accepted," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. She knew that look. She had seen that look play out. That look meant trouble.
"Oh no no no. There is no challenge here. I am not challenging you for anything." y/n shook her head. She didn't want any trouble.
"Are you scared, Mon chérie?" he playfully wiggled his eyebrows at her. She couldn't help but let out a laugh at his poor accent.
"First of all, that was such a bad imitation of that French dude and secondly, no I am not." She very much was.
"Then let's play."
He smirked at her devilishly and she instantly knew she was baited.
In a second, he turned his body to face her and trapped her between his big arm. His necklace dangled on her chest as he stared down at her with his piercing eyes. The mood quickly changed. It wasn't light and breezy anymore. This was intense. Electrical even.
Y/ns mind whirled. She felt her heart quicken. She could feel her face heat under his scrutiny but she didn't dare break the eye contact.
Bucky's eyes momentarily shifted to her lips. It was so swift and brief that y/n thought that she had imagined it. But then, he dipped his head low and y/ns eyes fluttered close in anticipation.
"You want to jump my bones right now," Bucky whispered. His lips hovered directly above the shell of her ear. Even if she couldn't see him, she could feel that stupid cocky smirk on his face.
And just like that, he detached himself from her leaving her all bothered and mad.
He was plagued with guilt and regret as he replayed the memory in his mind. He hung his head down in shame, unable to look at her anymore.
He had seen the wheels in her head turning. She was questioning every memory, every moment they shared together. His refusal to speak only made things worse.
But what could he say, really? He had done exactly what she accused her for. And he regretted it. She might think it was all a lie. But it wasn't. Not to him. Divulging all the intimate details of their sex life as proof to his friends had been the worst mistake of his life. If he could take it all back, he would. 
But that didn't change anything. 
So what could he say? 
His silence angered Y/n. 
So now he can't even meet my eyes, she thought. He didn't seem to be burdened by guilt when he was playing with me and having sex with me. That he enjoyed very much. And all the boasting he did in that disgusting group chat? He had no problem sexualizing me either. But now he decided to grow a heart. 
He always had something to say. Always. Even when he knew he was in the wrong, he would still continue to argue. He was never the one to back down. 
He was never the one to let go of a grudge so easily either. The ugly voice in her head sneered.
The memories of that day flashed in front of her eyes.
"I am really sorry, Bucky" y/n apologized yet again. 
She was hovering over the table right where Bucky sat. She had arrived late at lunch and all the seats at the popular table were filled by then. She normally didn't even sit with Bucky and his friends as per their agreement but today she knew how angry he was at her and she wanted to clear the air with him.
"Will you just talk to me?" she asked, a bit irritated by his childish behavior.
He still refused to acknowledge her presence. Instead, he turned his head toward his best friend and struck up a conversation with him.
"You know these days you can't trust anyone. The moment you trust them and let your guard down, they attack you," he told Sam. It was obvious that it was an underhand jab at y/n.
Sam didn't say anything in response. He just glanced a side look at y/n.
"Bucky, I said I am sorry. Can we please just talk about it?" y/n pleaded. She knew how pathetic she looked to the group. She was aware of how embarrassing this was. But Bucky meant a lot to her and she didn't want to lose him because of a mere misunderstanding. 
She remembered how she had spent the entire lunch trying to talk to him and he had simply ignored her. A senior had come to talk to him and he had noticed y/n standing near Bucky and profusely apologizing to him while he blatantly ignored her. Even the senior felt bad for her and asked him to talk to her but he had just brushed it off. She remembered how humiliated she had felt. How tiny and pathetic Bucky had made her feel.
As she looked at Bucky with his head hung low, it filled her with rage. She couldn't believe she had let that asshole treat her so poorly. It should have been clear to her at that time only that he was a piece of trash. That he didn't deserve her.
But that memory was only the beginning. It was as if she could finally see clearly. The fog had lifted. The jig was up. Bucky wasn't so perfect anymore.
All the repressed memories resurfaced. All those times he had bullied her, manipulated her, shamed her. It all came back to her. The memories played inside her head like a movie reel. Each memory was like a powerful blow to her face.
The one time he refused to share his gloves with her even though he wasn't using them and she was freezing. That day when he made a joke about her tits in front of the group making everybody stare at her chest and see the comparison. Or that day during the exams week when he refused to give her, her notes back because he felt threatened by her knowledge. And of course, that day when he had asked her to keep their relationship a secret because he was embarrassed by her.  
And all the times he had publically teased her for having a crush on his friend out of jealousy. And all those times he had belittled her and deliberately made her feel insecure by passing unsolicited comments on her body.
Some of them were small crimes. Some were big. She couldn't believe she had let all of them slide. She was so blinded by her insecurity and the fear that she will never find love that she chose the worst man ever. That she had let him treat her this shitty.
Her rage quickly turned into self-pity. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She had promised herself she would not cry in front of him. But these tears weren't for him. They were for her. For everything she had endured since she met him. Overall the pain and hurt she didn't deserve. For all the years to come that she would spend in therapy trying to desperately heal from this incident. Over how scarred and traumatized she already left and how she knew it would affect her relationship with men in general forever. All because she chose the wrong man. 
She let out a sob. And then another. And then another. She let herself fall down on the floor as she finally cried. 
It was one thing to mistreat her and play her but it was a whole another level of disgusting that he had reached by boasting about their sexpacades to his trashy friends.
It made her feel like she wasn't a human with her own set of feelings and emotions. That she was just an object for men's pleasure. A toy he can play with in secret and disregard in public. A used, broken toy.
He had made sure to make her feel alienated. To be ashamed of her own body. It didn't even feel like hers anymore. It felt like theirs. She felt like all the names they had called her. 
She couldn't believe that it had ended this way. That her life had come to this. She couldn't help but blame herself. 
How can she be so naive? How had she managed to ignore all the signs? Why did she not speak up when he would degrade her in front of their, no, his friends? Why did she let him treat her the way he did? How could she? 
Bucky's head shot up when he heard her cry. For a split second, he thought he misheard. Oh god, did he wish he misheard. The sight in front of him absolutely broke his heart. 
The woman he knew he loved sat hunched on the floor crying her heart out. The sheer agony reflecting from her face made him feel like someone had pushed their hand inside his chest, grabbed his heart, and were squeezing it hard.  He couldn't breathe. It was a gut-wrenching feeling. Absolute torture. 
He had the strong urge to run up to her and wrap his arms around her. To engulf her in a tight embrace. He wanted to hug her so tightly. intently. with earnest. with passion. with delicacy. He wanted to hear her heart beat against his. Her head on his shoulder. so closely knitted together that they appeared one. he wished to protect her. to heal her broken pieces.
But he hesitated. Her words from the past ringed in his ears leaving him in further turmoil.
"Most embarrassing story from school. Go." Bucky said. 
Bucky and y/n were huddled together in her bed. Her parents were out of town giving her the opportunity to call him over. 
She had invited him to her room for just sex because that was the deal. They were just friends with benefits. Nothing more. Nothing less.
He had been blown away by her room. He felt like he had entered one of those Pinterest aesthetic rooms.
He had ignored the red neon lights she turned on when they both came in to set the mood. Instead  he had went to ogle at the art on her wall.
"You have made all of these?" He looked at them in awe.
She nodded in response.
"Wow, y/n. That's so cool. I can'tbelieve you are so talented. Is that a sketch of Iron Man? "
"Yes." She let out. She felt a bit uncomfortable when Buckycontinued to examine the sketches and paintings.
Her room was a reflection of her. She kept it private. Especially her art. She normally took some personal pieces down whenever she expectedcompany but she didn't think Bucky wouldpay any mind to her room.
"I didn't know you liked Marvel." He turned around.
Y/n shrugged. " You never asked. "
He plopped down on her bed and asked her some more about Marvel. He had assumed that she didn't really like Marvel and that she just pretended she did to impress guys. y/n had proven him wrongby answering all of his questions correctly.
y/n had asked him somequestionsofher own which had soon turned into a competition about who knew more aboutMarvelwhichwas won by y/n when she corrected him overthefactthat the snap hadn'tactually killed the people. They had been stuck in thesoulstone in the comic version.
She had thoughtit would anger Bucky becausehe was a sour loser but he had made a comment about how themakers fucked up the movies. It had turned into a heated discussion about their mutual hate of the Russo Brothers.
" You are a damn mystery, y/n." He had commented as he pulled her towards him with the loops ofherjeans.
" What else are you hiding from me, huh?"
And thus instead of getting some they had decided to lay in the bed together and just simply talk. It turned into one of those nights. The one where the two people just click. They talk abouteverything and everyone. From topics ranging from favorite colors to dysfunctional families.
And Bucky had justasked y/n to reveal the most embarrassing moment from school.
She was tempted tolie for a second. But she decided against it when she saw him looking at her intently from her lap.
" You have to promise me youwon't tell this to anyone and that we wouldnever talk about this again. Only then Iwould tell you the story. "
" This seems interesting." He got up from her lap and gave her his famous mischievous look. She instantly missed his warmth.
" I don'tknow. It depends on the story. Let's do one thing. You tell me the story first. Then I will decideifit's juicy enough to repeat it to our friends. " he acted coy.
"Nope. Not going to happen. Thisstory is going withyou to your grave or it isn'tgoing to yourears. Got it?" She got up from the bed as she spoke.
" Wait. Don't go." He said. He lurched forward and grabbed her hand before she could go.
"I promise Iwon't tell it to anyone. Even if the story is that you peed on yourself in front of the whole class." He laughed out at the thought.
Y/n turned around and hit him on his head. " Iwasn'tgoingaway. I was going to the washroom. "
"And the story is not that I peed in front of everybody," she added.
" Then what is the story. I want to know." He whined.
Y/n's heart swelled at the sight.  He looked so cute andmesmerizing. She wanted to capturethis moment. Both of them were at ease in eachother's presence. Comfortable.
Only ifthey could stay like thatforever.
" I know I am goingtoregrettellingyou this buthere it goes. " she clapped her hands together as she continued, " Once upon a time-"
"Oh cmon" he groaned while she let out a giggle.
" Okay, fine. It was in eigth grade. I had this huge crush on Steve and all of my friends knew. Once I was talking about him with my friend and this bully, you know him from the football team, Rumlow, overheard me and announced to the whole goddamn school that I had a crush on him. It was embarrassing and everybody was talking about it so much that I ended up running to the washroom and crying. " y/n let out in one, single breath.
"You had a crush on Steve?" Bucky questioned. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. He knew that y/n had liked Peter before they became a thing. But it had ceased to matter when he got the girl over Peter. But Steve? How could he compete with the perfect Steve? 
" That's what you take from the story," she asked, incredulous. Stupid boys!
" Well, Rumlow is an asshole. Everybody on the team dislikes him." Bucky offered.
" I know right! Two years later he had the audacity to ask me out. Like he hadn't made me cry in school. In school, Bucky!"
Bucky didn't follow. What was the big deal about crying in school? Wanda and Natasha cry at least once a day.
"What's so wrong about that?" He pondered.
Y/n gave him a look as if he had just asked her who Thanos was.
He immediately backtracked. " I mean of course Rumlow is an asshole and the asking you on date part is wrong. I was asking what is wrong with crying in school." He clarified.
" That I am crying! It was humiliating enough. I didn't want to be looked at as weak or delicate." y/n explained.
"You appear vulnerable when you cry. I don't like to appear vulnerable. I don't want to give someone that kind of power over me." she added. 
Now y/n was crying in front of him. 
He remembered that day when he had been a complete jerk to her when she had come to apologize to him. Despite all the humiliation, she didn't shed a single tear. She didn't cry even when the worst of things happened.
But she was crying now. 
Because of him.
He had done the impossible. He had made y/n y/l/n cry. He didn't feel proud or macho as he stood there and watched her cry. He felt ashamed. He felt like a monster. Seeing her cry made him realize the weight his actions hold. He realized what he had done. 
He wanted to tear open his chest and remove his heart from his body just so he could stop feeling. He didn't want to feel this way. He had destroyed the one thing he loved. He knew there was no going back from this. He couldn't salvage this. he had gone too far this time and in the process lost one thing that he actually cared about. 
He wondered if it was this hard for him, how difficult was it for her?
Y/n had so much to say to him.  She had asked him to come here for the sole purpose of hurting him back. She had wanted to tell him how much he had hurt her. She wanted to explain it to him. To make him see the wrongs. To make him understand what he had caused. For him to regret his actions. To feel guilty. And mourn her. 
She wanted to yell at him. Punch him. Ask him why. Why did he do all of this? Why her? She had millions of questions. She had so much to say and ask. To make sense of the situation. 
But when she looked up at him with her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes and saw his eyes mirroring her own, the anguish and suffering clear in his eyes, she realized he knew. 
It had finally dawned on him that what he had done was cruel and pure evil. And he had to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life. 
Bucky hadn't said a word since she told him that she knew. But a lot was spoken in that last eye contact. Y/n had got what she had come for - remorse. 
So, she wiped away her tears,  stood up, and gathered herself. 
"You can write this down as yet another victory, Barnes. You made Y/n Yl/n cry." she gave the last blow.
Those were her last words as she walked away silently cursing him for a sad, miserable, and remorseful life and hoping to never see him again.
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sunookkii · 3 years ago
Note
hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3
a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]
Also i am well ty for asking >.<
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
Enhypen forgetting your bday~
Genre : angsty ish
Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??
Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Heeseung :
Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday
But to your luck he forgot :(
So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard
And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt
Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember
So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry
Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear
A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.
He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.
He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself
He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”
He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~
^ so yeah 🤕
Jay :
I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧
You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course
You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.
You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(
You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt
So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)
He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD
Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.
Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker
He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT
After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.
But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this
You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face
“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”
All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good
Jake :
It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you
You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise
But today was sort of… different? :(
You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁
After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face
I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲
You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.
“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.
You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’
When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.
You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”
You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕
He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’
Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.
‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”
A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you
^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)
You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn
Sunghoon :
Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t
So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…
“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”
“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”
“What…”
You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it
But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭
Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes
genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it
And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~
Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.
Puts cake on your nose
Sunoo :
Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget
I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person
Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this
So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered
Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping
He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it
He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date
If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo
Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.
the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.
Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later
caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”
Jungwon :
he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated
Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,
you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most
But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day
“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile
“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face
Your happy smile soon became a little pout
“You really don’t know?”
“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”
oh my- he broke your heart right then and there
You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.
Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you
Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way
“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”
He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look
wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting
“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying
You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳
“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe
Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes
He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<
Cuddles you for the rest of the day
Niki :
He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”
“Well someone is happy today :)”
“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”
“Wednesday?”
😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”
“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game
you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((
he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.
‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’
You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.
“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki
and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on
He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’
But to his luck you were still mad at him
Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~
You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him
N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3
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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago
Text
THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part V/VII)
"the perfect excuse"
Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.
Pairing: George Weasley x Reader
Genre: angst mostly
Tags:
Suggested by: @crispykittywitch
Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadowss @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley19 @dianarte
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa
Warnings: language, drinking, makeout getting spicy
A/N: idk what happened here, this was not planned I'm just horny ig??? Anyway have this part that was definitely not meant to unfold like this but hey, I'm not mad, so enjoy <3
Prologue: the aftermath
Part I: sleepless nights
Part II: candy floss
Part III: shock therapy
Part IV: wrong name
Part VI: the downfall
Part VII: apart
Epilogue: I still love you
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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I checked myself in the mirror one last time before heading to the kitchen. There was no actual need of dressing up nicely, since we both would be spending New Year's Eve at the flat, but since Ginny, Ron, Harry and Hermione were coming, we decided to clean up for our guests.
"Hmm, smells good." I leaned on the doorframe, observing George finishing cooking.
"These past five months' messes paid off." He joked, grabbing a kitchen rag to clean his hands. "Can you keep an eye on it while I go get read..." He trailed off automatically when his gaze landed on me. "Woah— okay." He cleared his throat, eyes slightly widened at my outfit, and I couldn't help but enjoy a bit too much his attention. "You look really good— is that the new blouse?"
"Yup." I replied, a coy smile dancing on my lips as I stepped to him and picked the kitchen rag myself. "C'mon, go clean up nice for our guests."
It only took him a couple of minutes, since he might have had his suit ready.
"Mind lending a hand with the tie, love?" He requested, stepping into the kitchen with his attention on the shirt's cuffs which he was buttoning up.
Damn, he looked so good; it wasn't even fair.
"Y/n?" He chuckled, finally looking up.
"Uh— yeah! Sure." I threw the rag over the counter and led my hands to the tie, taking my time to make the knot; maybe I wanted an excuse to have my hands on him.
We stayed in silence until I was finished; it wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't comfortable either— it was, in fact, stifling.
"There you go." I more like whispered instead of talking, sliding my hands down his chest briefly. His eyebrows were knitted, trying to decipher my demeanor; his hands caught one of mines before they fell limply on my sides, and for a second, I thought he was about to do something really stupid —something I had wanted to do for the last three months—, but then the bell rang and we stepped away from each other, going to receive Ron and Hermione as if that moment hadn't happened at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GINNY'S P. O. V.
I took a sip of my brandy as we laughed at Ron's joke, my eyes drifting to Hermione and then to Y/n's lap, where Teddy rested, giggling and blabbering nonsense at George's hand movements and funny faces.
George had confided me quite ashamed that he fancied Y/n about two years ago, but I knew the looks he gave her were of something more than a little crush, if you may.
Had I not known Y/n, I would be worried she was projecting Fred onto the younger twin, but the girl knew better than that, so when we got to experience how their domestic life unfolded during New Year's Eve, I felt nothing but happiness at the way Y/n laughed at my brother's jokes, or how she stared at him in pure adoration as he played with Tonks's and Lupin's baby.
"You're getting him waaay too exited, mate." Harry chuckled, extending his arms for Y/n to hand him the toddler. "He needs to go to sleep."
Teddy, who we had put to sleep in Y/n's room shortly after dinner, had woken up right before the New Year came to us, and, since he refused to go back to sleep, Y/n took on the task of entertaining him. George joined as soon as he witnessed Teddy's hair going rainbow-like at Y/n's actions.
"Actually, I think we all need to go to sleep." I said, leaving the glass on the table.
"Boo, you're supposed to be the youngest!" Y/n whined, earning a laughter from the rest.
"Ginny's right, though." Ron stood up and all of us followed his lead. "It's really late and I don't want mum to see us drunk when she wakes up."
"Not a good impression to make on your future mother-in-law, oi, Granger?" George's tease made Hermione's cheeks flush, murmuring an 'idiot' before giving him a hug. "Take care, all of you." He added after he and Y/n had hugged everyone goodbye.
The five of us exited the flat and apparated in the Burrow's yard in silence until Harry asked, "are they together now?"
"We don't know." I confessed with a grimace.
"Well, together or not, they're definitely fucking."
"Ronald!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping her boyfriend's arm.
"I just said what everyone else's thinking." He defended himself, and none of us could deny it.
READER'S P. O. V.
We began to pick up the dirty plates, glasses and cutlery in order to take them to the sink and leave them there to wash them tomorrow.
"Oi, look what I found." George wiggled a firewhiskey bottle at me from the living room.
Without thinking twice, I grabbed the half empty ice cream tub I had just left over the counter, a couple of clean glasses, and I made my way to George.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"—and that was only in our... Third- no- fourth! year?" He finished the story, joining me in the giggling; I didn't doubt the story was funny, but I was sure it seemed ten times funnier because of the alcohol. "Wait- where were you back then?" He knitted his brows in confusion.
"A year below you." I laughed.
He snorted. "Below me," he took a look at his empty glass before reaching for the bottle with a laugh "hell, I wish."
I couldn't help but laugh too. "Sure you do." I wouldn't have laughed if I were sober, but then again I highly doubted he would have said that if he were sober. "Y'know- you can have me below you anytime you want, Georgie." I replied between lazy giggles, leaning on him so he would pour more firewhiskey into my glass too.
A loud snort left George, triggering one of my own. "Sure, darling." He loosened his tie and tossed it to the floor. "Why's it so hot in here?"
"Mmm... Must be 'cause of you." I threw my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Or... maybe's just the alcohol." I groaned at the feeling of my head spinning, and sat upright again to chunk the now full glass in one go. "I'm hot too."
"Oh darling... You can't even imagine how much— I mean... Every day— but tonight you look partic... particular...ly? Dashing." George was leaning back against the armchair's feet, his eyes closed, his cheeks flushed and an amused smile dancing on his lips. "Why must you be so bloody perfect?" I found myself staring a bit too much at the ginger. "There's still a conscious part of my brain that knows I shouldn't be saying this shit." An idle chuckle left his chest and one of his eyes peeked open. "I'm gonna blame the alcohol, aight?"
Right, the alcohol —The perfect excuse.
I laid my glass on the floor and got up, stumbling towards him. "Oi, careful— you don't wanna trip and fall." He laughed, steadying me with his hands as I plopped down on my knees besides him. "We won't make it to St. Mungo—" With one hand on his shoulder and one on his cheek, I went for it, cutting him mid-sentece in the process.
It was one hell of a sloppy kiss, and I was so concentrated on doing it right that I didn't even hear the moan I sent into his mouth.
What the hell are you doing?, My mind screamed.
I attempted to pull away, but I felt George's hands on my sides, clutching my clothes in his fists to tug me flush against him. I took the cue and did my best to climb onto his lap and straddle his legs without losing balance.
What we were doing felt terribly wrong, and, the morning after, we would regret this little slip so much, but in that exact moment I could only think that his lips tasted like fire whiskey, strawberry and chocolate, and that the quiet moans slipping through them between the kisses were loud enough to quiet down everything in my head.
I stopped to take a breath, resting my forehead against his; our eyes locked, pupils blown out.
Heavy pants left our lungs, as if we had just run a marathon. It felt like the kiss had made a bomb go off, one that we had unconsciously been building up those past months.
It took an instant of looking at each other to know we thought the same; we wouldn't get this opportunity ever again, so at that point, we might as well carry on and pray for it not to be too bad in the morning.
This time it was George who smashed his lips against mines, teeth clashing and tongues going in each other's mouths. The situation was escalating quick; a tad too quick, I daresay.
He cursed and mumbled something about too many clothes, proceeding to pull his shirt over his head with my help, given that he could only do so much with that amount of alcohol in his sistem.
I could do even less, though. It was proven when I first attempted to get rid of my blouse.
I struggled to unbutton it, an awkward, dizzy silence falling among us before his hands travelled to mines "Wait... Lemme..." He frowned, finding that simple task as frustratingly difficult as I did. "Bloody..." A browned off grunt left his swollen lips.
"Tear it." I mumbled, letting my hands roam over his chest.
"You sure?"
I hummed, somehow impatient. "We'll fix it tomorrow." I captured his lips once more.
We'd fix it tomorrow.
I felt his hands fisting my shirt by the cleavage before giving it a firm tug, making my gasp; I wasn't expecting all the buttons to come off in one go, given his drunken state.
I didn't even have time to discard the piece of clothing before his lips attacked my neck, shutting my brain off instantly due to the sensation.
"You want this?" He whispered in my ear, his hands going up from my thighs to my back until they reached the clasp of my bra.
Not trusting my voice, I nodded vigorously, making the world shake around me so hard that I had to shut my eyes.
I felt a feather kiss on my shoulder and his fingers unfastening the bra; he was doing his best to be smooth, which wasn't a lot, but I could tell he was trying hard.
"You're so sweet." I blurted out as his fingertips ghosted over my skin while he removed the top from my body.
He tried to reply something, but articulating kept getting harder and harder as we went deeper into it, so he gave up on words and so did I; at least until his fingers slid between my legs and started to tease me through the fabric of my remaining clothes.
"Bed." I whimpered, unconsciously rocking my hips against George's hand whilst my own travelled to his crotch, feeling his erection and consequently earning a moan from him.
"D'you think we'll make it?" He inquired, already retreating his hand briefly so we could stand up.
Soon enough we were stumbling to my room, hands all over each other, bumping against the furniture and walls due to not being able to stand upright.
When we fell on the bed and tossed the rest of our clothes to the floor, it began to dawn on me how bad this was going to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE'S P. O. V.
My head was pounding violently in my skull; that's most likely the reason why I woke up. It took a moment for the blurry memories of the previous night to flash into my mind.
"You feel... so good..."
"Fuck- George— faster, please..."
"Y/n— I'm-"
"No." I shoot up, not acknowledging that Y/n was still asleep by my side. "Fuck no. Nononono." I ignored the terrible headache caused by the hungover and, grabbing my clothes, I exited the room. "No fucking way." I kept mumbling to myself, stalking to my dorm to throw on some fresh clothes.
I sat on my bed, my hands running through my locks, bringing back the memories of Y/n's tugs on them in the process.
"What the fuck did I do." I almost choked on the sentence.
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reidgraygubler · 4 years ago
Text
last christmas (spencer reid/reader)
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Title:  Last Christmas
Requested: no
Couple: spencer reid/gen-neutral!reader 
Category: mostly fluff, but some angst
Content Warning: cheating, swearing, christmas (tagging bc i know some ppl don’t celebrate and could be a trigger), pregnancy, engagements, verbal arguments, kissing/making out, swearing, post prison/post series (minor spoilers, but idk)
Word Count: 7,864
Summary: last christmas: reader gets proposed to on christmas night. The very next day, they find out their fiance is cheating on them. So they go spend the night with their best friend, Spencer Reid. this year: Reader gets proposed to by someone special.
A/N: being forced to listen to christmas music for 3-6 hours at work can really do something to someone. And that’s either murder or writing a cute one-shot… so I went with the latter… bc that’s so much easier than murder. and, this was hardly edited.... sorry for any grammatical errors... Anyways, happy holidays, thank you all for the love and support! Check out my masterlist! {***}{***}{***}
Last Christmas:
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as the song would say. The lights on the trees and houses around were beautiful. The downtown was always decked out with bizarre lights and statues, as well as people in full 18th-century garb. Loved ones gathering to celebrate the holidays with their friends and family. 
I didn’t know anyone who loved Christmas more than myself. Everyone who knew me, knew that Christmas was my favorite holiday. I tried my hardest to live my best stereotypical Christmas movie life. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend hated it… So, I guess it’s a good thing that all my friends and co-workers loved it. 
“I don’t exactly understand why we have to go to this party,” Jasper looked down at me with a mild annoyance. I smiled before knocking firm on the door. A quick glance at him told him to be quiet. 
“We went to your work party, so it’s only fair we go to mine,” I looked back at the door. A moment later, the door flew open and there stood David Rossi with his wife, Krystall, beside him. “David, Krystall,” I smiled as I pulled my hand from Jasper to hug the couple. “Merry Christmas,” I hummed happily once we parted. I turned to Jasper and took the bottle of wine to give to them.
“And to you. Please, come in. Reid, Penelope, and Emily are all here.” David graciously took the wine from me and invited us in. I grasped Jasper’s hand once again and pulled him inside. 
“Do you need help with anything?” I looked towards David as I took my jacket off. Krystall took it and brought it to a spare room, where I would assume all the other jackets were kept. 
“We’re almost done. Just get yourself a drink and relax,” he smiled and hugged me one last time. I looked up at Jasper and led him to the living room where Spencer, Penelope, and Emily were. I only knew they were there because I could hear their laughter and lively conversations. 
“C’mon, we don’t have to stay for too long,” I looked up at him with a smile. He nodded before pecking my lips, “I promise,” I smiled as I stared at him. 
“Yeah, okay,” he nodded as he glanced at my friends, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick, I’ll be right back,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my lips. I smiled and watched as he walked away. Once he was around the corner, I walked over to the living room.
“Hey you,” Emily looked up at me as I sat next to Spencer, “How are you?” she smiled. I looked at Spencer and smiled.
“I’m good. Jasper’s nieces and nephews woke us up at like 5 in the morning… And we were up late wrapping their presents,” I laughed and shook my head, “But it was exciting watching them rip through everything,” I added and nodded.
“Sounds Henry and Michael,” Spencer dryly laughed as he looked over at me. 
“Or was it because they got to see their Uncle Spencer?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer looked away from me and smiled, a small blush rising on his cheeks. “I’d get that excited too if I saw you first thing in the morning,” I smiled. 
“Could you be any cuter, I swear,” Penelope looked between Spencer and I. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
“And on that note, I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” Spencer looked at me before standing up.
“Oh, Jasper’s in there right now, so it could be a minute,” I looked up at him as he started to walk away. “Or you could find one of the other many bathrooms Rossi has,” I smiled at him.
“Yeah, yeah,” Spencer waved me off before he walked away. I watched as he walked around the corner, leaving it to be just me, Emily, and Penelope.
“How was your guys’ morning?” I looked back at them with a smile. Emily looked at Penelope before looking at me. The smile she wore made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
“It was good. It was pretty lazy. Just Andrew and I,” Emily nodded before taking a sip of her wine. I nodded and watched her sip. “He said he’d be joining us, but he’ll be a little late,” she added once she put her glass down. 
“Oh good! I’d love to see good ole Mendoza,” I laughed. Emily looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “What? Andrew is a great guy,” I shrugged.
“Well, I had a great Christmas! I got to see my Chocolate Thunder and his spawn and Queen,” Penelope cut in before either of us could further a comment. 
“How is Morgan? I wish I got to see him more,” I frowned as I looked over at Penelope. Jasper stepped back in, and Spencer was right in tow. Spencer returned to his seat beside me and Jasper on the other side. There was a certain tension in the room now that those two stepped in.  I knew those two always butted heads, but they tried to get along for me. But at the same time, I hated when they were around each other. There was always something for them to fight about. And, most of the time it was nothing.
“Uh, well,” Penelope started after a moment of very awkward silence. I looked at her and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Derek’s great! Hank’s great! I swear I could just eat him up,” her voice was high pitched as she lifted her hands like she was pinching an imaginary person’s cheeks.
“Derek or Hank?” Emily looked at Penelope with a raised eyebrow. I wanted to listen into the conversation. But it was so hard when I had two bags of testosterone sitting beside me. 
“Are you okay,” I looked over at Jasper and whispered. He tensed as I grasped his hand. He looked at me and smiled lightly. 
“Yeah, yeah, work called,” he nodded and looked down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I could hear Spencer’s scowl from behind me. I wanted to turn back and tell him off, but I refrained.
“But it’s Christmas,” I whispered. 
“Don’t worry. It was an easy fix, over the phone,” he smiled before pecking my lips.
After several minutes of banter with everyone, Jennifer and Will, Matt and Kristy, and Luke arrived, all with various bags or boxes. I instantly got up to help someone or everyone, or anyone who wanted my help (and that happened to be Luke). 
“Merry Christmas,” Jennifer smiled as she embraced me. I squeezed her tight before muttering the words back to her. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, a little bit of concern in her eyes. “Did you have a good day,”
“Of course I did,” I smiled as I looked at her. I sighed deeply before looking over my shoulder at Spencer and Jasper. They were talking to each other and I honestly couldn’t tell if the conversation was a good conversation or not. I was just worried that Jasper and I would be leaving early and having an argument on the way home. 
“Your boys fighting?” Jennifer asked as she followed my gaze to the two men. 
“Honestly, with those two? I never know. I just wish for Christmas they wouldn’t fight,” I rolled my eyes. Jennifer laughed lightly as she looked back at me. 
“I’m sure they’ll get along, someday,” she reassured. I looked back at her, dropping my shoulders. “And, for now, don’t worry about it,” she hummed once she saw my disappointment.
“Anyways, Penelope saw Chocolate Thunder for Christmas,” I looked over at Penelope and smiled. She looked back at me with a childlike excitement once I talked about her forbidden love. 
“Oh? Really? I would love to hear more about that trip,” Jennifer looked over at the people sitting in the living room. I smiled as I watched Penelope recount her trip to the others. 
“Wine,” David appeared beside me with a glass of wine. I smiled before graciously taking it from him.
{***}{***}{***}
I was happy to see that Jasper seemed to join in on the conversations with everyone, instead of sitting and wallowing in whatever emotion he was in. But I knew something was going on, because I could feel a certain annoyance or nervousness coming from him. Being on a team with a bunch of FBI profilers really helps to tell when something is wrong. 
I smiled at Spencer and Jennifer before silently excusing myself to sit beside Jasper. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could feel Spencer’s eyes watching me. No matter what the situation was, he was always protective of me. He was my best friend, so I shouldn’t be too worried. He was more protective over me when it came to Jasper, too. He hated Jasper.
“Is everything okay,” I asked as I sat beside him on the couch. He turned to face me more and grasped both my hands. A certain worry was in his eye, which made me worry. “Is everything okay,” I looked at him, trying to push away all my anxieties. 
“I just wasn’t sure if I would get the chance to ask you a question,” his voice was low. I furrowed my eyebrows as he pulled his hands from mine. I watched as he stood up in front of me. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone else in the room. The room went silent as everyone turned to look at Jasper and I (but mostly Jasper). “Can I have everyone’s attention for just a moment,” he spoked, shoving his hands in his pockets. 
Once he was certain he had the floor and everyone’s attention, more specifically mine, he looked back at me. He had a certain gleam in his eye that made me feel happy, and the exact opposite of nervous and worried. 
“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. There is no one I would rather spend my entire life with than you,” his words were smooth like butter and he was as relaxed as ever. He slowly lowered to the ground, kneeling on one knee. I brought my hands to my lips as I gasped. The girls around me were instantly squealing from excitement and the guys were stunned into silence. Spencer just glared from his seat across the room. “Will you marry me?” Jasper asked as he pulled his hand from his pocket. A black velvet box was in his hands, and inside was a diamond ring. I widened my eyes and felt the breath escape my lungs. 
The room fell silent with his proposal. Everyone’s eyes fell on us, and I could feel the cold and mildly judgemental stare from Spencer. Of course, I wanted to say yes. I loved Jasper. And, no one could make me feel otherwise. 
“Of course I’ll marry you, you fool,” I smiled at him as slid to the edge of the couch. A series of applause came from everyone as Jasper slid the ring on my finger. I rested my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss. 
“Well, I think it’s time to pop open a bottle of champagne,” David spoke in a cheery tone before standing. I looked up at him with a smile and watched as he walked towards the kitchen. I looked back at Jasper before kissing him once again. 
“I’m going to see if he needs any help,” Spencer spoke cooly before leaving. I looked at him, watching as he left. I looked over at Jennifer with a raised eyebrow, silently asking her to go see what’s wrong. She nodded before chasing after Spencer. 
{***}{***}{***}
“Again, congratulations,” Krystall smiled as she hugged me. I returned the hug. As I pulled away, she grasped my hand. “Merry Christmas,” she looked up at me. I smiled before turning to David.
“Thank you guys so much. I’ll see you on Monday,” I looked at the couple again before turning to leave. Jasper had already gone out to the care to start it, seeing as it was very cold out. 
“I’ll walk you out,” Spencer spoke up from behind David and Krystall. I looked past the couple at Spencer. He was already wearing his jacket and scarf. He wanted to leave the second Jasper proposed. 
“Yeah, of course,” I smiled and nodded. Spencer gave his pardons to David and Krystall before we finally stepped outside. 
“Did you have a good Christmas, Spence,” I looked up at him as we walked down the sidewalk. He kept his eyes low on the ground as we walked, and the silence he gave me was nearly deafening. I glanced at him, half worried because he’s never ever this quiet. Even when a sour police officer was getting annoyed or fed up with him, he wouldn’t even shut up. 
“Yeah, yeah, spent it with my mom and JJ’s family,” he nodded as he kept his eyes low. I smiled and nodded. “What about you,” he finally looked over at me.
“Yeah, yep… Spent it with Jasper and his family and friends,” I nodded as I shoved my hands into my pocket. 
“Not yours?” Spencer stopped walking. He grabbed my wrist, causing me to stop. I turned around and looked up at him. “I mean, it’s not very fair that he forced you to spend the holidays with his friends and family, and he looked like he wanted to jump off a bridge the whole time you were here… And you weren’t even here that long,”
“Spencer!” I looked up at him as I exclaimed. I stared at him with wide eyes. “What the hell is going on with you?” I dropped my shoulders as I looked at him.
“I’m just speaking the truth,” Spencer shrugged before he put his hands in his pockets. I shook my head and let out a laugh of disbelief.
“I gotta go,” I shook my head before turning to leave. I could hear Spencer muttering something to himself as I turned, and I just knew he had more to say.
“He doesn’t even love you!” Spencer shouted as I walked towards the car. I froze, staring at the window and Jasper sitting inside. I’m sure he could hear my argument with my best friend.  My heart was in my throat and I could feel myself starting to get sick. My head started to get a little woozy. “I’ve seen the way he’s looked at you and talked to you! And, he doesn’t…”
“Spencer,” I turned around to look at him, feeling the irritation growing in my head and my heart. He was looking at me, face filled with fury. The expression on his face told me he was telling the truth, but also Spencer would never lie to me. 
His eyes grew watery as he stared at me, and I knew the next thing he would say would probably break my heart. He was already telling the truth, a truth that I didn’t want to believe. 
“Please don’t marry him,” his voice lowered as he spoke. And I swear I heard it crack. I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. “He was constantly talking to someone tonight, texting someone. I heard him on the phone with someone when I left the bathroom, and I know it wasn’t work,”
“Stop,” I looked at him, trying to get him to stop talking before he said anything more that would embarrass the both of us. “Goodnight, Spencer. I’ll see you Monday,” I nodded at him before slipping into the car.
“Ready?” Jasper asked, looking over at me as he grasped my hand. I looked over at him with a smile before nodding.
“Yeah,” I whispered before looking back out the window at Spencer. He was still standing on the sidewalk, staring at me. He wore a very hurt expression on his face, and I swear a tear was rolling down his cheek. And before anything could happen, Jasper started the car and pulled away from David’s house and my best friend.
{***}{***}{***}
“Have a nice day,” I looked up at Jasper as he slipped from the bed. He pressed his lips to my forehead, wishing me a good day, before leaving to get ready for the day. I was only asleep for a few minutes before my alarm went off, forcing me to get out of bed and get on with my day. And, although I still had a few more days left of no work, I still had my plate full of errands and chores. 
Once my day finally started, I made way towards the dry cleaners. I had to pick up a couple of my blouses and a few slacks. Work had wrinkled and nearly ruined a few of my clothes, and the only place that could fix them was the dry cleaners. After the dry cleaners, I had to get a few groceries, seeing as all we had was some leftovers from Jasper’s parents’ place.
My phone started ringing, almost shocking me because I wasn’t expecting anyone to call me today. But I was more relieved when I saw that it was Jennifer calling. 
“Hey, have you talked to Spence?” Jennifer asked as I pressed my phone between my head and shoulder. I furrowed my eyebrows as I readjusted the grip on the bags in hand. 
“No, not since last night. We kind of had an argument before I left,” I muttered as I grabbed my phone. The memories of the argument with Spencer came back, and I tried my hardest not to recount them. I looked up at the sidewalk and people ahead of me and saw Jasper. He wasn’t alone though. Another woman was in his arms.
“Are you even listening to me?” Jennifer spoke, her tone mildly annoyed that I wasn’t answering any of her questions or acknowledging anything she was saying. 
“I’m… I gotta go. I’m sorry,” I muttered before hanging up and shoving my phone in my pocket. I looked at Jasper and the woman and watched as he deeply kissed her. 
I took a deep shaky breath before rushing back to my car. I didn’t even care about my fresh dry cleaning as I shoved it into the back. Tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks, and I wasn’t sure if there was a way I could stop them.
Not wanting to go home, the place that I would be reminded of him, I drove around, trying to figure where to go. Until I found myself standing outside Spencer’s apartment. I wasn’t exactly sure if I had knocked until the door swung open and Spencer was standing in front of me.
“Wh-what are you-Wait, is everything okay?” he asked, reaching a hand out to grasp my arm. I swallowed roughly and allowed him to hold my arm, and then my hand.
"I'm sorry… I didn't know where else to go. I didn’t want to go home because he’s there. And I just didn’t want to be around him,” I looked at Spencer with moisture in my eyes. He looked back at me with confusion settling on his face as he stared. 
“What… What happened? What’s wrong?” He asked as he stepped out of his apartment and rested his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him before allowing myself to fully break down. Spencer widened his eyes before pulling me into a hug. I pressed my face into his chest and sobbed.
“He cheated on me!” I exclaimed after a moment of crying. Spencer backed away from me to get a better look at me. “I was out doing errands… And I saw him…” I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. Spencer looked at me as he slowly realized what I had said. I could tell he didn’t really know what to do, so he just hugged me again before pulling me inside. 
“Sit, I’ll get you… I’ll get you tea. You like tea.” Spencer looked at me as he sat me on the couch. I looked up at him before wiping my cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll make you tea,” he nodded before leaving me alone in the living room. I looked towards the direction of his kitchen, listening to the clatter he was making. I could hear him talking to himself, saying stuff about Jasper, and me, and work, and the party last night, and our argument last night. I definitely shouldn’t be hearing him saying these things. It was an obvious thing that should be said to me another time. 
“Can I stay here for the night?” I looked up at Spencer as he reentered the living room with a mug of hot water and teabag. He looked at me as he sat beside me. I graciously took the mug from him and put the teabag in it. 
“Of course. You didn’t even have to ask,” Spencer looked at me as he grabbed a throw blanket. I sighed deeply as he placed it over my shoulders. “You can stay for as long as you need,” he looked at me as he furrowed his eyebrows. 
“Thanks, Spence,” I looked down at the tea and shrugged, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. All my stuff is over there.” I wiped my eyes again. Tears just wouldn’t stop rolling down my cheeks, I was starting to feel a little ridiculous. 
“Luke, Matt, and I will go over and bring it here. And you can stay for as long as you want," he insisted. I swallowed roughly before wiping my eyes. I looked up at him, trying to smile but it was rather unconvincing for the both of us. “You know that my place is your place,” he added and returned a genuine smile. His smile made me feel a little bit better and turned my unconvincing smile into something more convincing.
“Thank you, Spencer,” I whispered as I looked down at the cup of tea. The steam coming off it was rather soothing. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it! God. I’m so stupid! I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” I looked at him, my statement sounding stupid. 
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered a hand and wiped my cheeks. I could sense that he wanted to say more, because he always as more to say, especially when it’s about proving someone wrong. So, when he stopped at ‘It’s okay’ I was a little confused. “You didn’t want to believe something that should be false. I understand that,” he folded his hands in his lap. 
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger. I wrinkled my nose before taking it off and chucking it at the coffee table. The ring dinged as it bounced on the hard surface. I muttered a few profanities as I stared at the ring. Spencer looked at me with a raised brow. “I guess that means you’re getting what you wanted… I’m not going to marry him,” I dryly laughed as I looked up at him. 
“I didn’t want it like that,” Spencer whispered as he looked back at me. I looked up at him and frowned. “I was being selfish,” he whispered, mostly to himself. I raised an eyebrow before looking down at the ring. 
“You’re allowed to be selfish, Spencer,” I mumbled before looking back at him.
“You’re right. But I want to be selfish for the right reasons,” he looked back at me. I swallowed roughly and shook my head. “He doesn't deserve you. And you don't deserve to have your heart broken by some guy,” Spencer muttered. I raised an eyebrow. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though, when you’re ready,” he assured. 
I didn’t really want to press why he wanted to wait till I was ready. I was honestly always ready to talk to him, no matter what it was. So, I guess we’ll have to wait till he was good and ready.  Even if that meant a very long time.
{***}{***}{***}
New Year’s Eve:
New Year’s Eve was especially difficult. Usually, I love it, just like Christmas. But this time… This time was different. I supposed being cheated on during such a big holiday can do that to you. My spirit for any exciting holiday was simply diminished and gone now. 
So, that’s why I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Rossi’s house with my third glass of wine. I was really trying not to wallow in self-pity. But it was so easy when my excitement for the new year was just… gone. The others seemed okay with my sadness. Although, Spencer was the most concerned than anyone else. Everyone was off in the living room, laughing in their conversations. I just wanted to be alone for a moment.
“Hey,” Spencer looked at me as he sat beside me at the counter. I looked up from my drink and at him. A lazy and drunk smile grew on my lips as I looked at him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m doing great, Spence,” I looked at him as I stood up. He raised an eyebrow as I stumbled a bit. He grasped my arm to steady me a bit. “I’m gonna go outside. I need some fresh air. You stay here,” I patted his chest before leaving.
Spencer allowed me to go outside alone, I was half expecting him to follow me. So, I was happy when I took a seat outside. The air was a little bit chilly and nippy, which was mildly sobering. I kinda wished I had another drink with me.
I heard the back door open and then slam shut, causing me to turn around and look. Spencer was walking towards me with a blanket over his arm. It was only a few minutes since I came out here, he can’t have missed me that much.
“Here, it’s cold,” he offered me the blanket as he sat on the other outdoor chair. I took it and wrapped it around my shoulders like a cape. We sat in an uncomfortable, unnerving silence. I just wished he would say something so we wouldn’t be in the quiet.
“I just needed a few minutes alone. Everyone inside is just a little bit too loud for me,” I shrugged as I looked at the space between us. Spencer’s hum was unconvincing, but I’m sure my excuse was just as unconvincing too. “They’re too happy and I’m, well, not,” I looked up at him.
“I understand,” Spencer nodded, like he knew how I felt. I stared at him, only a little bit annoyed that he said that he understood. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Spencer, I’ve been living with you for the last week, you already know how I feel,” I looked up at him. The previous few nights I was up most of the night sobbing, mostly because I was heartbroken. It was bad and a little embarrassing because Spencer was the one who took care of me. “Thank you, for that… I do appreciate it,”
“You’re my best friend,” he whispered as he looked at me. A friendly smile grew on his lips as our eyes locked. “I care about you. And, I’d do anything to keep you safe,”
I didn’t really have anything to say, because I knew he meant it. He knew I felt the same way about him. There was a reason why I went to his home instead of Jennifer’s, or Emily’s… And, that reason was because he cared about me and he was my best friend. 
I scooched the chair closer to him and threw the blanket over his other shoulder. He looked over at me with a smile and his hair flopped in front of his eyes. I smiled as I brushed the hair away from his face. 
We fell back into our comfortable silence. My head was rested on his shoulder as his fingers slowly entwined with mine. I don’t think I was supposed to notice him holding my hand, but I did. 
“Can I ask something from you, Spence,” I asked, lifting my head from his shoulder. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, like he wasn’t sure if my question was a trick or not.
“Of course,” he nodded and looked at me. I turned to face him more, looking up at his face.
“Kiss me,” I whispered softly. My eyes flicked between his eyes and lips, and it was taking everything within me to not just kiss him. I could easily blame the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed earlier in the evening. Or I could blame the true and exact feelings I had towards Spencer. If I could, I’d wrap them up in a box with a bow and give it to him with a note tag that simply said ‘I love you’, but I wouldn’t. I won’t tell him the real reason why I want him to kiss me. It’s only been a week since my doomed relationship ended. I couldn’t tell him, yet. So I told him a lie. “I’m drunk and heartbroken, Spencer, please just kiss me,” I whispered as I lifted my hand to his tie. 
“I, uh, I... “ Spencer mumbled as he glanced towards the house. I knew no one was watching what I was doing out here, and I knew they wouldn’t care about what Spencer was doing. They were all too busy playing various drinking games and too involved with themselves to care. “Is that a good idea? I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” he muttered as he moved closer to me. And it wasn’t because I was tugging his tie.
“I think it is… I think it’s the greatest idea ever… Why else would I be asking?” I looked up at his eyes before smiling. I dropped my hand from his tie and noted that he wasn’t moving away from me. “Tell me, Spence, would I be a fool if you kissed me?” I looked into his eyes. My reflection was noticeable in his irises and it made me smile knowing I was that close to him.  
“You’d never be a fool,” Spencer whispered, his breath tickling the space above my lips. I smiled and nodded.
“I don’t know about you, but I was pretty foolish last week,” I dryly laughed. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. “Please, kiss me,” I quietly begged. 
He placed his hands on my cheeks before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed happily as we kissed. I could barely keep myself up and myself breathing as he gently worked his lips against mine. My heart was beating in my chest, but at the same time, it was fluttering. He was so gentle and soft, like if he went any harder he’d break me. But, I’m already broken. The butterflies I was feeling in my stomach grew and caused a heat to work its way up my cheeks. But it wasn’t just a kiss. It never is just a kiss with people. And, Spencer is more than just a person. A kiss with Jasper just felt like eh, it left me feeling nothing. But a kiss with Spencer left me wanting more. I wanted more of my life with him. It was in the few mere moments we were kissing that I realized I really did love him. 
Spencer was the first to move away from me, but only a few inches. Our noses were still touching and our foreheads were still pressed together. I licked my lips and smiled softly.
“That was…” I opened my eyes and looked at him. The smile on my lips grew wider as I looked at him. His eyes scanned my face, looking for any sort of worry or fear I might have had. But I had none. “Amazing,” I whispered as I dropped my shoulders. Spencer visibly relaxed as I finished talking.
“Good,” he laughed softly as he looked back at me. 
“Best kiss I’ve ever had,” I whispered with a smile. Spencer returned the smiles he looked at me. “I know you’d fool me if you kissed me again,” I murmured against his lips. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips back to mine. I hummed as I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him as close as possible. I didn’t want to move from my spot, and I knew Spencer didn’t want to move either. “I’d be okay if you did it again,”
“I love you,” Spencer muttered into my mouth, causing me to freeze in my spot. I kept my eyes closed because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look at him. “Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have opened my mouth,” he groaned before tilting his head back away from me. I quickly opened my eyes and looked for his face. “Now I’m the fool,” he murmured against my lips. He was clearly embarrassed because I didn’t say anything back. I was mostly shocked because I wasn’t expecting it.
“Don’t say that,” I whispered, bringing my hands to rest gently on his cheeks. He looked at me with furrowed brows, like I was the one who was wrong about our words. “I love you too,” I smiled softly at him. Spencer looked at me, like I was suddenly a light in the darkness. And, I really liked the way it felt when he looked at me like that. “Like, I wished I realized it sooner… And, before I met, you know,” I muttered as I talked about the man who broke my heart a week ago. A look flashed in Spencer’s eyes at the mention of his, I suppose, enemy. I knew he wanted to kill the man. “I’m happy I did realize it though,” I smiled as I looked at him.
“I am too,” he finally said something after a moment of silence. The smile on his lips and in his eyes, and all the previous anger and hatred melted away. “I wish I could have told you sooner,” 
“You told me at a perfect time, Spencer,” I whispered before kissing him again. I nearly fell back in a fit of laughter as he tried deepening the kiss, but I was happy he kept me steady. 
“Don’t worry, I got you now,” he whispered as he held me close.
{***}{***}{***}
This Christmas:
You would have thought that I was going to hate Christmas this year. I mean, considering what happened last year? He basically ruined my week and the whole holiday for me. But it got better, thanks to Spencer. 
I looked up at Spencer as I wrapped my arms around his and rested my head on his shoulder. He looked back down at me with a smile before knocking on the door. 
“I hope everyone had a good Christmas,” I whispered as I looked at the wreath on David’s door. Krystall must be happy about her decor this year.
“Well, this is the first year neither of us really spent it with anyone else from the team,” Spencer replied as he brought his other hand to rest on my arm. I smiled before nuzzling my head more into his shoulder. “Well, This would be the first year I didn’t spend with JJ and Will,” he spoke again, changing his answer.
“Next year,” I smiled softly as I looked up at him, “Who knows, maybe next year we’ll have our own family,” I smiled smugly. Spencer laughed and shook his head, but the happy gleam in his eyes told me otherwise. Of course he wouldn’t actually verbalize that he wants kids, it’s just been known for years that he wanted them. 
“Maybe,” he looked down at me and winked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head lightly. My words were cut off by the front door swinging open. Krystall was standing by the door with a wide smile on her lips. She looked pretty happy to see Spencer and I.
“Merry Christmas, you two,” she smiled as she stepped to the side to allow us in, “Did you have a good morning?” she looked at us as we walked in.
“Wonderful,” I smiled as I looked up at Spencer and smiled. He returned the smile as he unbuttoned his jacket. Of course, we wouldn’t exactly talk about what we did this morning, I’ll just say it was a little NSFW to share with people you work with. And, somethings gotta stay between Spencer and I. 
“Is anyone else here?” I looked back at Krystall as I slipped my own jacket off. I don’t really know why I asked if anyone else was here… Spencer and I were the last ones to show up...
“You’re the last ones to arrive,” she smiled at us, “Jennifer and Will brought their boys,” she spoke as childish laughter filled the moment of silence after her words. 
“Oh! We were just talking about we didn’t see them this morning,” I looked up at Spencer as I moved closer to him. He carefully wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me closer to him. “I can’t wait to see them,” I smiled as I looked at Spencer. He returned the look with a loving look in his eye. 
“Well, I know you two know your way around the house, everyone is in the living room. If you need anything just let us know,” Krystall smiled at us before leaving to put our coats somewhere. Once she was out of our sight, I looked back up at Spencer.
“We should probably go see everyone,” I smiled as I looked towards the kitchen. Spencer gently placed a hand on my cheek, guiding my face to face his. “What,” I whispered as I looked up at him. 
“I love you,” he returned the whisper before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed as I melted into his kiss. His hand was firmly placed on my waist and he carefully pulled me closer to his body. 
“God, not in Rossi’s house,” a groan came from behind us. I pulled away from Spencer and looked over my shoulder. Emily was standing in the doorway, looking at us as she lifted her glass to her lips. 
“What, he was just hugging me,” I smiled at her. Spencer’s hands were still firmly on my me. And, it was very clear that he was not just hugging me. Judging by the expression on Emily’s face, she definitely saw more than she bargained for. 
“Sure you were,” she smiled at us, “Spence, David needs you in the kitchen,” she looked at Spencer before pushing herself off the wall and leaving. I pouted and looked up at him. 
“It’ll be just a minute. Save me a seat,” he whispered before quickly pecking my lips and swiftly leaving me in the foyar. More laughter came from the living room, causing me to smile. I instantly knew I wanted to join in the laughter and fun with the others, more specifically the two young boys.
When I stepped into the living room, everyone greeted me with a lot of excitement. It felt like they hadn’t seen me in months, but we just saw each other two days ago. 
“Hey, Merry Christmas,” I smiled as I looked at everyone. Michael and Henry ran up to me and wrapped their arms around my legs, “Hey you two,” I ruffled my hand in their hair. 
“Boys,” Jennifer called from her spot on the couch. I looked up at her and smiled as her two boys let go of me. I smiled before taking a seat at the armchair. “Where’s Spence? Did he come?” Jennifer asked as she watched me sit. Everyone had this weird sort of energy, like they knew something that I didn’t exactly know. I always hated when they did that. They knew that too. Granted, I’m not typically a person who likes surprises or secrets. 
“Yeah, he’s helping Dave with something in the kitchen,” I smiled as I looked at her. Michael ran up to me, holding a toy truck he got this morning. “Whoa! That’s such a cool truck, Michael! What else did you get?” I leaned and braced myself on my knees. He was very quiet as he told me what he got, but he was very enthusiastic about everything. When he finished telling me everything he got, he cautiously climbed onto the chair and sat beside me. 
“You were supposed to save me a seat,” a voice came from behind me. I looked behind me and saw Spencer, looking down at me with a wide smile. “I’ll just have to sit over here,” he faked a pout before going to sit on the other armchair.
“What can I say, the fellas love me,” I smiled as I watched him sit. As much as I loved sitting with Jennifer’s boys, I really wanted to sit with Spencer. Even from across the living room, he knew that too. 
As the night went on, food was eaten, drinks were drunk, presents were exchanged. I still had a 4 year old little boy attached at my hip, and there was no getting rid of him. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him… But, there were things that I wanted to do. Like sit with Spencer, and talk about things other than toys and little kid things… 
“Can we talk real quick?” Spencer asked as he squatted beside me and Michael. I looked at him and nodded, feeling my face falter slightly. I looked down at the boy on my knee, silently telling Spencer that my shadow probably won’t leave me alone. Spencer looked over his shoulder at Jennifer, silently telling her something. 
“Hey, Michael, c’mere,” Jennifer spoke to her child. Michael looked up at me before hugging me and leaving me alone. I looked back up at Spencer before standing up. 
“Privately?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer swallowed roughly and nodded before grasping my hand and bringing me outside. The door clicked shut behind us as we walked towards the sitting area. I was instantly hugging myself to keep myself somewhat warm, because it was cold and I wasn’t wearing my coat.
“I’ll be quick, I’m sorry,” he cringed, grasping both my hands to hold them. I furrowed my eyebrows as I warily looked at him. The anxiety that I was feeling was through the roof, and I knew he noticed it too. 
“Is everything okay,” I whispered as I looked at him. I was worried something was wrong. Why else would he want to talk to me alone? But, something couldn’t have been wrong, because he was smiling and laughing and looked happy.
“I just wanted to talk to you for a second... And without Michael by your side,” Spencer laughed as he looked back at me. I smiled as I looked up at him. “And I wanted to have a moment with you, alone,” he looked over my shoulder at the house. Something flashed in his eyes as he pulled one hand from me and put it in his pocket. “In fact… I wanted eternity with you,” he whispered as he looked at me. I dropped my shoulders as I slowly realized what he meant. “I know Christmas is your favorite, and last Christmas was ruined… But I wanted to make it mean something to you again…”
“Spen-”
“Will you marry me,” he whispered, pulling out a small grey box and opening it up. The ring was a plain silver band with a diamond embedded in the center. I looked at him and smiled. “I know it’s barely been a year… But,”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” we both said it in unison. He looked up at me and smiled, his eyes a little bit moist. Mine were also welling up a little bit. 
“Of course I’ll marry you, Spencer,” I whispered looking at him with a smile. He returned the smile before sliding the ring on my finger. I placed my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss. Cheering and applause came from inside, causing me to laugh against his lips. I looked up at him and smiled. “I love you,” I whispered softly.
“I love you too,” Spencer smiled before kissing me again.
{***}{***}{***}
The following morning Spencer and I were downtown. We didn’t have much to do, so we explored downtown while the holiday decorations were still up. Spencer was actually taking me to an after Christmas movie thing at a black and white theater. Our quiet laughter and conversation made me feel happy. Our conversations were mostly filled with the excitement of our new engagement and future wedding.
That was until I was stopped abruptly as we walked into a familiar man and woman. I stared at him, feeling a certain sickness rise in my stomach. Spencer’s arm went back around me in a protective manner. My body went frigid as I stared at the man and the woman, so I was thankful for Spencer’s embrace.
“Jasper,” I spoke, almost breathlessly. I swallowed roughly as I stared at them. Jasper was quiet for a long time. I knew for a fact he was pretending to not know who I was. But he 100% knew who I was, and who Spencer was.
 "I almost didn't recognize you," he laughed as he looked at me. I started back and held back the scoff. "You look so different,"
“Well, it’s been a year, so it doesn’t surprise me,” I looked at him and then at his wife. His pregnant wife. I only knew they were married now because of the ring she was nonchalantly showing off to Spencer and I. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought I was wallowing in pity for a full year. They’re probably both surprised by seeing me with Spencer, Jasper more than her. I bounced back from our spilt faster than he probably thought.
I ignored them and looked up at Spencer, who was staring at Jasper with such laser precision I swear he’d kill him. But, to be fair, Jasper was staring at Spencer with the same amount of hatred. I knew his wife was clearly uncomfortable with everything that was happening. I was uncomfortable. 
“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” Jasper looked at me with a smile that was faker than a Kardashian’s ass.
“We best be going now. Spencer and I have an appointment we can’t miss,” I spoke as he opened his mouth. It was obvious he wanted to have the first out, but we just spoke over each other. I looked up at Spencer before grasping his hand and pulling him past the couple. Not another word was spoken between us, and not another word will ever be spoken between us. But, that’s okay. I have all I could ever need or want.
I looked up at Spencer before looking back down at the ring on my finger. The ring that he placed there. This is a lot better than last Christmas, and I can’t wait for the rest of my Christmases to be with Spencer.
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