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iliterallyjustlivehere · 9 months ago

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i dunno if i ever posted this here but... this is a fic i started because i was projecting and about halfway through i realized i only wanted to write the parts where Nick actually gets sick so i completely lost motivation for the rest of the story.....

so here is Galaxy/Bear Witness/Delicate as it is titled in my google doc. i published on ao3 under delicate but galaxy is pretty cute given the circumstances tbh

Nick Nelson never got sick. Ever. He joked about being a great teacher because he never picked up whatever bug his students were carrying. Charlie on the other hand had a shit immune system and ended up with some sort of cold or illness once or twice a month. It was never very bad though, and Charlie had a great system when it came to being sick. He had a plan and he could carry out that plan effectively, because he had had practice.

Nick did not have practice.

The last time Nick was actually sick, like, can’t get out of bed or else he’ll pass out type sick, was four years ago during his third week in Uni. Typical freshers flu type beat. That was the only time in his years at Uni he wished he had a roommate. He knew how lucky he was to have his own room, even if it was tiny, but that week he would’ve given anything to just have another person be there. Not even to take care of him, Nick hated being taken care of, but just to bear witness to his illness. Most of his friends from home were genuinely shocked to hear he was unwell.

Nick had felt so alone. He was still brand new to this world, he didn’t even know his way around campus and here he was, lying on the floor of the bathroom praying to every God he knew of to let him feel better.

In reality, it was a 24 hour bug, but it felt like eons. He still missed more classes even when it was over because he was terrified of getting sick in class or passing his illness to anyone else. He stayed in bed a week before venturing back out into the real world.

When he did go back to class, everyone had formed groups and made friends. Everyone had a clique, and Nick wasn’t a part of any of them. Because of his sickness he had effectively missed the most important part of Uni: Making friends.

He wasn’t completely alone, he hung out with people casually and had gone to eat with other people in his program, but he didn’t feel connected to any of them. He missed his friends. He missed Tara and Darcy and Tao and Elle and everyone else. When he left for Uni he had just gotten truly comfortable around them. They were Charlie’s friends first, it felt, so he didn’t know whether they would even stay in touch when he left for Uni.

They did. They sent him sweet messages, and told him how much they missed him. Their group chat overflowed with memes and 3AM conversations about who knows what. They were his nightlight when everything else was dark.

This didn’t mean Nick didn’t feel lonely. He actually felt more alone than he ever had. He couldn’t help but feel he had messed up big time by leaving his friends, by leaving Charlie. His heart ached for them.

The first semester was rough, but he survived. And at the end of it, he had a little friend group of his own. They weren’t nearly as special as the Paris gang, but they were people he could be around. Nick had learned a valuable lesson in making new friends; he had unintentionally isolated himself from everyone other than Charlie and his friends and because of this, Nick had no idea what to do. Realizing that he couldn’t go through school alone, he managed to pick himself up and introduce himself to people. Humans are pack animals. They cannot survive alone, however much they want too.

It all ended up good. Nick still kept in contact with some of his Uni friends, they would occasionally get dinner and reminisce on the “good old days” like they were elderly and not one year out of school.

Still, though it turned out well in the end, Nick carried those feelings of isolation with him. Nowadays, he would panic for a moment whenever he didn’t feel well. Any sign of being sick sent him spiraling because in his mind he equated being ill with being completely and utterly alone. And too much of that feeling, obviously, led to him feeling worse.

Address. Acknowledge. Breathe. These are tactics he used whenever he got so tangled he couldn’t breathe. All things Charlie had taught him when Nick had opened up about his anxieties. First, address and assess the problem. Figure out the cause. Then, acknowledge it, tell it you know it’s there. Finally, breathe it out. You have to pay attention to something in order for it to do what you want. Charlie had said it was kind of like agreeing what your head was telling you, but choosing to think differently. It was all about rerouting the wires in your brain, making sure none of them are rusty or tangled.

Everyone’s brains were tangled. Some just more so. Charlie had also said the easiest way to untangle your brain was to bring all the junk to the light. Unfortunately, Nick was an excellent bottler. He would do the classic holding it all in until he exploded over everything and everyone. Nick could look absolutely fine but internally be on fire. Nick was frequently on fire, therefore giving him years of experience of yelling at himself to calm the fuck down.

And that’s just what he did when he woke up with a headache. He yelled at himself, then went about his day as if nothing were amiss. And now it was three hours later, and Nick was sitting in his classroom trying to calm down. It had just been a headache but now evolved into a dark lump in his throat and a churning stomach.

He was lucky that he didn’t have any kids today - There were scheduled “teacher work days” spread throughout the year. He couldn’t bear to think about dealing with 15 first graders on top of the pain in his head.

Groaning, he rested his head on his desk. He knew he should probably just go home, he obviously wasn’t getting any work done, but he needed this work day. People who aren’t teachers can’t even begin to comprehend how much work it takes to be one. And Nick loved it. He loved his kids, in fact, probably too much. Their schedule was always wonky because Nick insisted on giving kids individual help along with revamping programs constantly to better benefit the children.

Plus, it wasn’t like he was actually sick.

Right?

On the tail end of a chill, he felt the heaviness that comes from nausea. Nope. He couldn’t deal with this. Nick was stronger than this. He was fine. He was excellent at faking it til you make it. He wouldn’t admit to anyone when he wasn’t feeling well until the last possible second. Charlie was the only person who could always tell how Nick was feeling. Oftentimes, Charlie knew how Nick was feeling even before Nick realized it.

Charlie. Nick couldn’t stop shivering. He wished Charlie was here. God, he missed him so much he wanted to cry. His face grew warm and his vision blurred. Charlie would know what to do. He would make them cups of tea and let Nick rest his aching head against his chest. Nick longed for the soft and steady beat of Charlie’s heart.

The fluorescent lights were shooting daggers into his brain. He stupidly looked up straight into the light which caused his brimming eyes to finally overflow. Putting down his pen, he gripped his head and tried to stop the tears. He couldn’t believe he was crying over something so stupid. He had seen Charlie that morning and would see him again when he went home. Glancing at the clock, Nick realized it was only 11:30. It had been three hours since he last saw Charlie, but it felt like eons.

Finishing the English assignment felt like the end of the world. How could he do anything? He may as well quit now. The kids didn’t exist in his brain anymore. Everything had swirled together and he couldn’t stop the tears.

Another wave of nausea rolled through him. He could feel it in his fingertips, a heavy feeling that couldn’t be breathed away. Eventually the heaviness settled in his throat and behind his eyes. How long had he been crying? His face was numb. Nick was falling through a tornado, spinning round and round.

He jerked the arm that was holding up his head and barely caught himself before slamming his face onto the desk. It was time to go home. He was fine, not sick at all, he just needed to leave. He couldn’t focus here. It would be better at home. WIth Charlie.

Just a moment longer though, he reasoned. Just until he could see straight. Placing his forehead on his desk, he looped his arms over his neck, under the pieces of hair that touched his neck. His senses were already overwhelmed from the migraine, if he had to feel the hair on the back of his neck, he may actually combust. His hands were ice cold, but his body felt like it was on fire.

Not sick, not sick, not sick, not sick. He repeated it over and over again, hoping that, by putting all his energy and focus onto the fact that he was not sick, it would come true.

This was quickly followed by a surplus of spit suddenly filling his mouth. He didn’t even try to keep it in, instead opening his mouth just enough to let it all spill out. Sour spit soaked his notebook, but he didn’t care. He watched as the spit caused the ink to run, turning it into a globby blue mess. Stupid fountain pen. Watching the ink run and the spit puddle grow was mesmerizing. Different hues of blue swirled and mixed. He noticed that the longer the spit sat there, the more shades were revealed. It looked a bit like a galaxy.

He didn’t even realize what was about to happen until he was actively in the midst of it. The spit had been getting more and more cloudy which added depth to his galaxy. He had focused so much on the page that when his stomach hitched he didn’t react. Five seconds later and his galaxy disappeared underneath a puddle of his breakfast. It took him another few seconds to shake the daze and realize there was more coming. He jerked back and fell out of his chair in an attempt to grab the trash bin he kept at the side of his desk. The falling wasn’t ideal, but at least it got him where he needed to go fast enough to catch the next wave.

The next 15 minutes were terrible, to say the least. At least his brain had shut off, so all he had to do was hold the bucket and try to breathe in between gags.

The exertion made the pain in his head worse. Needing to be somewhere darker, away from the fluorescents, Nick fully climbed underneath his desk. It wasn’t much darker under there, but at least the lights weren’t assaulting him. There was a moment of surprise when he realized he could fit under his desk; He wasn’t a small human, that was for sure, and the ability to crawl into small spaces was never something he harbored. Still, he had somehow managed to curl up tight enough to fit.

Being away from the light helped his head, but his stomach still roiled. Nick had his knees pulled up to his chest with the bin next to him. It wasn’t the best configuration, but it would do for now until… Until what? What was he going to do? His chest heaved and dark spots danced across his vision. What was he going to do? He was stuck. Stuck in the school, stuck in his classroom, stuck underneath his goddamn desk. The thought of leaving his hiding spot made his heart beat faster, so all he could do was sit there in his misery.

Assess. Acknowledge. Breathe. He managed the first two steps, but as he was trying to steady his breath, another wave of nausea knocked him out flat. Barely having enough time to turn his head, Nick choked out a bit more of his breakfast, then gagged fruitlessly for a few minutes. He didn’t feel much better, but it was obvious nothing more was coming up, so he leaned back up against the desk and tried step three again. His heart was beating much too fast and he nearly blacked out as he shuttered through the first breath. Four more slow breaths and he no longer felt like he would pass out. One thing off his list of ailments. Two to go.

He hadn’t even begun thinking about what to do next when his phone started ringing. The vibration matched the thumping in his head and he cursed himself for choosing a musical theatre song as a ringtone. As Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel belted out the chorus of “For Good” he reached one arm up to feel around on the desk. Being exposed to the light felt like the worst possible thing to happen right now, so he could only grope around and pray it was in reach.

The first small miracle of the day was he found the phone at the edge of the desk. He didn’t even look to see who was calling before he answered.

“Hello, my love!” Oh my god. It was Charlie. All of his muscles started to relax, one by one at the sound of Charlie’s voice. “... what do you think about pizza for dinner?” At the mention of food, the nausea came creeping back in. Nick groaned and covered his mouth with his free hand. He didn’t want Charlie to hear how ill he was, but it was too late, Charlie had heard.

“So I’m guessing that’s a no on pizza? You could’ve just said so, no need to huff,” Charlie joked. Nick managed to smile at that, though it quickly turned to a grimace as his stomach wreaked havoc within him.

Charlie then seemed to realize Nick hadn’t spoken a word on their call.

“Nick? Hello?” Nick’s eyes began to fill with tears again. All he wanted was Charlie.

“Is something the matter?” Charlie asked. Nick nodded before realizing Charlie couldn’t see him. He could hear his boyfriend's breath over the phone and the tears spilled over.

“Yes,” he gasped. His stomach heaved again and it took everything in him not to throw up all over his phone.

“Okay. Okay, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Charlie’s voice had changed to the one he used when Nick wasn’t feeling well. This made him cry harder. He was so sick he thought he might die. He was going to die. Oh, god. His stomach flipped again and this time a spray of stomach bile came up, burning the back of his throat. This round hurt so much more than the first few. This time there was hardly anything left in his stomach and what little he was able to expel felt like acid burning through his body.

In all the mess, he’d completely forgotten about his phone call. His heart constricted again, Charlie definitely hated him now. He couldn’t do anything for himself, he was completely useless. When he found his phone wedged between his legs, the call had ended. Charlie was gone. That was the final straw. A shock rocked his body, as if he had stuck a fork in the toaster. His head hurt more than it ever had and all he wanted was for it to just stop.

Just stop.

Please.

He summoned all his strength and slammed his head back against the desk, effectively knocking himself out.

Charlie had been sitting at his desk when he called Nick. He’d been lonely that day. There was no deadline for him to fill, no work that needed to be done, no chores that hadn’t already been completed other than the dishes, but that was Nick’s job, thank you very much. And what does Charlie do when he’s lonely? He calls Nick, of course.

Their original dinner plan had been these fancy omelets Nick had seen on tiktok, but, as Charlie found out this morning, the eggs had gone bad. For once Charlie’s anxiety over spoiled food had come in handy. He always tested eggs to make sure they were still good by putting them in a container of water and seeing if any floated. Much to his delight, they all floated. He had been very proud of himself for catching it before they ate any.

The phone rang exactly six times before Nick picked up. That’s odd, thought Charlie, normally he picks up the phone after three.

“Hello, my love!” Even just knowing Nick was on the other side of the line made Charlie feel a bit less lonely. “I was just calling to ask about dinner. I know our plan was eggs, but they’ve gone bad.” Charlie paused for a second to see if Nick would say anything. When he didn’t, the loneliness came back in full swing. Nick was angry that the eggs had gone bad. Charlie should’ve been more careful. “What do you think about pizza?” There was a moment of silence, then some scuffling over the phone. What was Nick even doing? Was he that angry at Charlie for letting the eggs go bad?

Then, he heard what sounded like a groan from over the phone. Charlie’s heart dropped. Nick really was angry. It was unusual though. Normally Nick would communicate better, but he hadn’t said a word the whole phone call.

“So I’m guessing that’s a no on pizza? You could’ve just said so, no need to huff,” Charlie tried to joke, but his voice was strained and he could feel tears building up behind his eyes. This was so unlike Nick, and normally Charlie would be able to tell that Nick wasn’t feeling well, but he had been feeling emotionally unmoored all day, so the lack of response had his head reeling.

Still, nothing could be heard over the phone except Nick’s breathing. It sounded ragged, like he’d run a mile in the sun and hadn’t yet had something to drink.

“Nick? Hello?” Charlie could feel his heart twisting with anxiety.

A sniffle could be heard over the phone. Charlie was taken aback. Why was Nick crying? Was he that upset?

Nick whimpered and Charlie’s anxious heart took a step back. This wasn’t like Nick. Something was wrong.

“Is something the matter?” he asked.

There was silence over the phone and then: “Yes,” Nick gasped. His voice was tight and his breaths were labored. Charlie’s heart was hammering, his own breath, sharp.

“Okay.” Charlie took a deep breath. “Okay, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

He heard what sounded like a cough that turned wet midway through and there was a clunk that indicated that the phone had been dropped.

“Nick? Oh my god, Nick, what’s wrong?” Charlie was standing now, pacing from the bathroom door to his desk under the window. Daisy joined him, following a step behind.

More coughing could be heard. It almost sounded like he was gagging. And then the phone cut off. Nick had hung up.

Charlie abruptly stopped his anxious pacing, causing Daisy to run into the back of his knees. He barely felt it though, all he could focus on was getting to Nick. Nick needed him. Nick was hurt or in trouble or something, something was wrong and Charlie couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel his hands, couldn't open his eyes.

Having been rudely interrupted in her own pacing, Daisy nudged him from behind, which brought him back down to earth.

He needed to get himself under control.

This was not about him.

He would be no help to Nick if he continued like this.

Assess. Acknowledge. Breathe. Something Geoff had taught him years ago. It had been a lifesaver on many occasions, for both him and Nick.

First, assess: he was anxious about Nick. The unknown factors were crushing. Next, acknowledge: Nick seemed to be unwell. This was a normal thing to be worried about. This anxiety was true. Then, the most crucial step, breathe: he counted his breaths. Breathe in 2, 3, 4, hold. And breathe out 2, 3 ,4 ,5, 6, 7, 8. Repeat the breathing as long as needed, while keeping an open mind. He repeated this three times, before the earthquake in his chest calmed down. He was okay. His feet were on the floor. Nick would be so proud of him for this.

Daisy nudged him again. Charlie opened his eyes to see she had brought him her favorite toy.

“Thank you, Daisy,” he gave her a pat on the head and she whipped around to lick his knuckles, her whole body wriggling. Charlie gave her a kiss on the head and picked up the stuffed carrot. It looked just like Nellies. Grabbing his cardigan from its signature spot on the floor, he slipped the carrot in his pocket and went to find his keys.

Technically he didn’t need to drive, Nick’s school was within walking distance, but Charlie wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Plus he didn’t know what kind of state he would find Nick in. A flashback to the hospital made Charlie cringe and he shook his head to clear the thought. Nick was probably just ill. No trips to the hospital would be needed, he thought, trying to convince himself. Maybe a migraine. For some reason, this comforted Charlie. He could handle a migraine.

Finally he found his keys, (in the sink under the frying pan he had used to make crepes that morning - they were basically just pancakes), gave Daisy another pat on the head and rushed out the front door to go rescue his boyfriend.

Nick had been listening to the clock for a few minutes now. He didn’t bother counting the seconds, he only listened to the time passing. The nausea had subsided for the time being, but had been replaced by what felt like a cloud in his brain. He almost felt drunk, the room spun when he opened his eyes, so he kept them tightly shut. He was content listening to the clock for now; figuring out what to do about the current situation could wait.

More time elapsed, but Nick wasn’t sure he believed it. If he couldn’t hear the clock, he would think the world had been frozen. And who’s to say anything was happening? If a tree falls in a forest…

The door opened. Nick’s heart would’ve fallen into his stomach, but his stomach was in his throat, so it just skittered around for a moment.

Who could it be?

Nick curled in on himself once more in an attempt to hide. Maybe if he shut his eyes tight enough, no one would see him. Maybe if he held his breath, no one would hear him.

Charlie had arrived. He tried to walk calmly to Nick’s classroom, but since there was no one there except a few faculty members and maybe a janitor, running seemed like the best option.

Plus he’d always wanted to run as fast as he could through school hallways.

When he reached Nick’s room, he was slightly winded and needed to pause to breathe for a moment before venturing further. This moment was cut short though because when Charlie looked through the window into the classroom, he didn’t see anybody. Where was Nick? His heart sped up, and not because of the hallway sprint. Cracking open the door, Charlie walked into the seemingly abandoned space.

Nick’s classroom wasn’t that large, there weren’t many places for children to hide, let alone a 6’2 Nick Nelson. The whole room looked dead. Charlie nearly shut the door and went looking elsewhere when the smell hit him. It was acidic and smelled of the tea and toast he and Nick had had for breakfast. It burned Charlie’s nose and his heart dropped, meeting his stomach which was trying to crawl into his chest.

He cautiously walked further into the room.

Still, he could not see Nick. What he did see was a thick brown liquid currently dripping down the side of his desk. He tried not to look at it too much, but it was hard when the vomit was literally everywhere. It covered Nick’s desk and Charlie could see various notebooks and stationary poking out from underneath the liquid.

Still no sign of Nick, but at least Charlie knew what he was dealing with. He took a deep breath through his mouth to steady his heart rate and walked towards the desk.

It didn’t take much looking after that.

There was Nick, curled up underneath his desk. An overturned bin was next to him; it was obvious he had tried to keep the mess contained, but it was too much so he gave up. Charlie’s heart fell through his chest and smashed onto the floor, along with his knees as he put one shaking hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“Oh, love…” Charlie couldn’t tell if Nick’s shirt was wet from sweat or vomit, but it was likely both.

Nick’s head rolled toward Charlie, eyes closed. Charlie took Nick’s face in his hands and pushed his sweaty hair out of the way. Nick’s face was bright red in some places and pale as milk in others. Tears clung to his eyelashes and bits of breakfast had dried on his chin. Using his bare hands, Charlie wiped away all traces of sickness from his face, whispering to him the whole time.

Nick’s eyes opened a crack, but his expression was still blank, as if he couldn’t see anything at all.

“Hi,” Charlie said. Nick’s eyes focused on Charlie for a moment and then rolled away again.

Now what? How was Charlie gonna drag his 6’2 ragdoll of a husband out from underneath the desk?

He did not have to ponder for long, because Nick suddenly lurched forward again, right onto Charlie. His whole body seemed to tense as he coughed up a bit of fluid on Charlie’s lap. The noise he made was torturous. It took everything in Charlie to not push Nick back to where he came from. Instead, he took Nick’s shoulders and leaned him to the right so he wasn’t directly in the way of Nick’s next round of gagging. Nothing much was coming up, but that didn’t stop Nick’s body from trying to rid itself of every last bit.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Charlie said when the gagging turned to gasping. He attempted to pull Nick out from underneath the desk, but he was so completely out of it that instead of leaning into Charlie’s gentle pulls, he reared backwards, nearly hitting his head again. How’d he even fit under there? “You’re okay, yeah, everythings fine,” Charlie rambled, more for himself than for Nick at this point. Nick retched drily again, finally leaning towards Charlie.

Taking this opportunity to finally pull him out from under the table, Charlie managed to sit Nick up right, this time leaning against the filing cabinet next to the desk. He grabbed the trash bin, but there wasn’t much use for it anymore. He was completely empty. Instead, his head lolled back, hitting the filing cabinet with a clunk. The sound reverberated throughout the room and Charlie winced. Nick was going to give himself a concussion along with whatever horrid virus was wrecking his system.

“You’ve gotta… Oh love, you have to breathe,” said Charlie. Nick kept gasping, tears running down his face. His hands were balled up in Charlie’s shirt, trying to get as close to him as possible, like maybe, just maybe, Charlie would be able to help him breathe through the pain.

“Hey, look at me,” Charlie held Nick’s chin up, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Breathe. Start slow. In, 2, 3, 4 hold. Out, 2, 3, 4, hold.” He then rested Nick’s head against his chest so he could feel the vibrations of the breaths Charlie was taking. It was the same exercise they used whenever one of them was feeling out of control. They’d been using it for so long, just hearing the words was able to ground Charlie. He hoped Nick felt the same.

As they breathed, Charlie realized just how out of breath he was feeling. Sometimes he worried that their emotions were too intertwined, one of them panicking occasionally led to the both of them breathing harshly while curled up wherever they landed. Sometimes their bed, sometimes their kitchen floor. And now apparently the floor of Nick’s classroom. It wasn’t something Charlie could worry about now though, as Nick was finally taking full deep breaths without shuddering. He still shook like a leaf, but at least he was breathing somewhat normally.

The last time Charlie was ill, Nick had narrated everything, always telling him what he was going to do before he did it, so as to not cause the panic to rise up again. Charlie moved his hands to put them in Nick’s hair and began speaking quietly.

“I’m gonna move you just a bit, okay?” Charlie wasn’t expecting an answer, but Nick moved his head in a jerky sort of nod. “And now I’m going to lean you back against the cabinet for just a moment.” He put one hand behind Nick’s head to prevent any more head related injuries. “I’m standing up now, then I’m going to lift you up. I’m going to need your help though, I can’t lift you on my own.” Another jerk of the head. “Now I’m going to take your hands and pull you up. Once you’re up, you can lean against me and I’ll put you in your chair.” The chair had somehow remained dry throughout the whole ordeal. “I’m going to count to three then pull, okay?” Nick hiccuped, which made Charlie’s heart skitter around for a moment before he was able to gain control again. If Nick was sick again, so be it. It would be easier to manage once he was sitting up.

“1, 2, 3, and up.” Surprisingly, Nick did most of the work. He was able to stand almost on his own, even if he was a bit wobbly. Once Charlie had him in the chair, he was able to get a better look at what they were dealing with.

It… it didn’t look great. Puddles ranging in thickness were spread at least a foot in every direction, slowly congealing in the cold classroom air.

Nick seemed to be doing alright, all things considered, but Charlie was worried about a possible second (or third, how long had he been sick?) round. How was he going to get all this cleaned up? There were paper towels on the desk, but it looked like they hadn’t been spared in the initial explosion.

Charlie’s brain was working overtime, and achieving exactly nothing. What was the correct next step?

He was thinking so hard he didn’t hear the knock at the door. He also didn’t hear when the door cracked up and someone walked in. He did hear the sound of something metal hit the linoleum floor and the gasp that accompanied it. Bouncing to his feet, Charlie spun around to see the school janitor, Mr. Jenson standing in the doorway.

“Oh thank god,” Charlie said, taking a step forward. “We’re gonna need a mop.”

Two hours later, after the mess had been cleaned up and Charlie was finally tucking a weary Nick into bed. Charlie was incredibly grateful Mr. Jenson had stopped by when he did. Apparently he had taken to visiting Nick in the afternoons so they could talk rugby, and was more than happy to help Charlie with the cleanup.

There had been some close calls on the way home, with Charlie pulling over more than once for Nick to dry heave on the side of the road, but he hadn’t actually been sick since the classroom. Charlie still put a bin on Nick’s side of the bed, just in case, but it seemed like he was out of the woods.

Nick had fallen asleep almost immediately, and Charlie followed soon after. Even though Charlie wasn’t ill, the afternoon's events had still exhausted him, so when Nick was finally settled, he too climbed under the covers. Charlie placed one hand in Nick’s hair and the other lay on his chest, and they both slept the day away.

And honestly?

It was pretty great.

#love them #heartstopper #emeto #whump #emetophilia #i miss writing #sickfic #fanfic

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sonybees · 4 years ago

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mutuals appreciation post!

i seriously CANNOT at all process this

literally i do not know how this even happened but i am so inexplicably grateful for every single one of you! i love all of you so so much!

i was maybe thinking about making a sleepover but school has been kicking my ass lately so i just decided on making a little mutuals appreciation post! to all my other mutuals, i love all of you so much and i literally want to smother all of you with hugs and kisses. i am so grateful for all of you. thank you.

this might be a little long so it’s under the cut! there might be a lot of mistakes snsjd

@lunaleonorah leo!!! you are an absolute blessing. i love your kindness and the amount of affection you give me literally makes me wanna break down and scream. in a good way of course sjjs. i love our conversations where we just talk about our days and all that. i wish we could always be friends and you can tell me anything you’d like. i love our friendship because we can talk to each other whenever we’d like and will always bring comfort to each other. i always look forward to having conversations with you everyday. ilysm and you deserve the world <3 all the love, pluto.

@gredmforge rory, my wife! i love talking to you about nonsense, it always makes my day and your fun and carefree personality always makes me smile. no doubt that we will be great friends in real life. the little asks you send in my inbox always make me laugh and i’m very excited for whatever future works you have. you always seemed so nice and sweet ever since i first interacted with you and i am so happy that i asked you where you got your memes because look what that got us to! shsjdjd. no but seriously, i love talking to you about our obsessions and just saying hello to each other. ilysm and i hope you always remember that! :) <3

@crookedhag my lovely eliz, i’m too lazy to make another one of those fancy scrolls that i did earlier but that doesn’t stop me from showin gmy appreciation for you. you are such a sweet and amazing person. you are also so talented and i am always so happy to see your name pop up on my notifications. you were always the first one to send me an ask for ask games and you always check in on me and i love you for that. i wish the very best in everything you do. you have great taste in music and i’m starting to think that you’re in every single fandom i don’t know jsjsj. but i love talking to you and ily! mwah! ◡̈

@oldschoolkiddo hero! the first time you ever interacted with me, i already knew that i would love having you around. you are such a fun person and all the tag games that you make and tag me in are always so fun! you are an independent person and i love that so much. you speak your mind and that is so powerful. you are so very sweet and your personality is so fun. i hope that you have many great days in the future and you can always talk to me whenever you need to. let me know if you want a distraction from anything or if you just want to rant, i will be here. ily!

@krasivayadarling my lovely ant! i am so very glad that i built up the courage to say hi to you when you made that post saying you wanted to be friends with new people. you are one of the best people i’ve ever met and you are so sweet, kind, talented, funny, and supportive. i am also so grateful for your support in my fics. you were my first ever supporter and i was really nervous for someone to read my works but you were so nice about it and i love that. i wish you all the best. ily, ant! sincerely, soap.

@whatthefuckimbisexual the loveliest persephone, you are such a bad bitch. JSJS NO BUT SRSLY ILYSM. you are such a fun person and i love how we can relate to each other a lot. i mean, staying up til 3 am and fuck aral pan yk? ejekdj. i really wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can interact more! you are truly one of the most fun and energetic people i’ve ever met and you are so very sweet and funny. thank you for being a great person! all the love <3

@falconxbarnes maddie! you add such a sweet and great person and when you reblog and like my posts, my heart fills with joy! your blog brings me so much comfort and i love our short little conversations. you remind me of going out at 5 am when the sun is almost out. the joy is always evident when that happens just like how i feel when i talk to you! i wish to eat pancit canton with you one day! i really wish you the best in everything and you deserve so many good things. mwah!

@amourtentiaa liane! you are literally so talented and it amazes me every time i read your works. you are so fun and chill and seeing your name always makes me happy! your blog page is filled with so much comfort in my opinion and our first conversation ever was so fun and you are so polite. you also really remind me of the night. i can’t explain why but like i said, you are chill and brings me a lot of comfort! i really love the way you interact with others as you are so kind. i hope you are doing well and always will feel well. ily, yannie!

@puntuations oh my gosh, ysa! you followed me first and i didn’t exactly understand why because you seemed too cool and mature for me djdj. but i am so glad you did and i am so grateful that you’re my friend. thank you for tagging me in dps related things! i really love that and it brings me so much joy. you were always so kind to me no matter what and you are so respectful. i appreciate you and your blog always makes me smile. thank you for being an amazing friend. ilysm, ysa. mwah!

@tofeeltaller joy! you bring me so much joy! sjdndjdn sorry, i had to. you are so so sweet and kind. i was always so scared to interact with dps blogs because they seemed intimidating but so nice at the same time (idk why i’m sorrydhjd), i thought y’all were too cool for me and i didn’t know how to approach you guys but after i got the courage to talk to you, i felt a lot more comfortable. you are so sweet and kind and you deserve so much more blessings. you truly are an amazing person and i hope that your days will get better and better. giving you so many warm hugs and kisses, mwah!

@lolremuslupin dkndkx omg you are so sweet! i don’t interact with you much but we do talk sometimes. i am also very glad that i decided to pm you to try and make new friends and you were so kind about it. you are such an amazing person and i love staying up at 3 am talking to you about random crap. i wish that your life will go well and that you are always safe! warm hugs!

@punkrific soaf, my twin! i really love talking to you and your energy is always so great. you are an amazing and fun person and having a twin like you always makes me feel like the luckiest ever. i am so so grateful to have you as a friend and your dashing personality always gets me. ilysm and i wish you the best! love, the ugly sofia <3

@freddieweasleyswife sweets! i’ve never met someone as sweet and kind as you are. you’re an amazing person and you deserve so much and you are so talented. i wish to write like you one day. my day is always better when I see your name in my notifications being friends with someone as amazing as you are is so great and i wosh to interact with you more. i miss talking to you and you’re always so kind and ready to comfort anyone. ilysm and you deserve the world. sincerely, sweetpea. <3

@sam-winchester-is-my-bitch rae! i love talking to you and seeing your pets! you are so kind, sweet and understanding and you really know how to make me smile. whenever i talk to you, it’s always so wholesome and nice and you give off so much good vibes. you really are like the color yellow to me, sunny, nice, but can be serious at times. but is always ready to cheer someone up. i wish you the best in everything and i hope that we can talk more! all the love <3

@daltonacademia kendi! i know you’re on a short hiatus at the moment but i just had to add you in here. i really hope that you are doing well and i hope you know that your writing is literally one of the best that i’ve ever read. you are so sweet and kind and you always have that little fun and sunny personality and i love talking to you so much. you are so respectful and you deserve so much. i’m sending you all the love and comfort. you are amazing and i hope you know that. stay safe, kendi! i really love that nicknamejsjs

@thatswhywilliamagedlikesourmilk dear! i am so glad that you followed my page and i am so so grateful that i’m friends with you. you are one of the best people ever and you are so so sweet. the most adorable person ever! talking to you feels like hugging a teddy bear and i am aware that that doesn’t make much sense but it just feels so comfy and brings me joy. i really hope that you’re doing well because you also deserve everything! sending you so many hugs <3 mwah!

@fredweasleyismyloverman alex, my dear! you are so kind and nice! i’m really glad i followed you. just a little fun fact, i actually found you through ant or @krasivayadarling . i was reading through some people who she gave ships to and i saw yours and i was like “oh my gosh, this person and i are literally the same.” and i went crazy because it looked almost exactly the same as my description hdjdjd. i’m actually not that sure if it went like that but that’s how i recalled it so i just always remember thatsbns. i literally relate to you so much and your shitposts give me life. you are so wise and amazing and i would love to talk to you more! ily, dear! mwah <3

@daisyyy2516 daze, dear! i am so happy that sab led ke to your page! literally, you are so damn talented and i just cannot i am always so amazed every time you show your works. you are so kind and sweet and such an icon. you bring me so much joy and everything you’ve ever said to me has always been something sweet and funny. ilysm and you deserve the world. i’d like if you dm’ed me once you’ve gotten your work displayed at some huge art exhibition. you are so amazing and i want you to know that. everything will be better. i appreciate you and i am so glad that you are in this world. i love you sm, daze. frd weasley loves you too. all the love and joy, soaf.

@sirlorelai lorie!! you are so nice and kind and sweet. i’m very glad that you weren’t angry at me spam reblogging your postsjsjd. i love our conversations and i wish we could talk more! you are such a kind and funny person and everything you’ve ever done has put a smile to my face. you are so fun and energetic and i love that. i hope that life is going well over there and that everything will be better if it isn’t at the moment. you deserve so much and ilysm, mwah!

@quadrupledeckertaco lorelei, dear! i miss talking to you! i really love our conversations and your soft but fierce personality is so great and it brings me so much joy. your writing is literally so amazing and like i said, i aspire to write like you one day. i miss you so much and i really hope that everything’s well. i wish you the best and sending you so much love, sofia. <3

and to all my other mutuals! thank you! i love all of you so much and interacting with all of you brings me so much joy. thank you for everything. have a great day everyone!

#again i am SO SO SO GRATEFUL #OMG YOU GUYS DONT KNOW HOW MUCH IM ACTUALLY FREAKING OUT I TROED TO BE CHILL ON THSI PSOTJEND #sofia’s got 300 friends!#sofia’s mutual appreciation post #tw swearing #tw food mention

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thedevilsmemes · 4 years ago

Text

PINTEREST QUOTES I USE IN MY MUSINGS BOARDS ~ A SENTENCE MEME - PART 2

Change pronouns as / when needed to preferred pronoun.

“I do not do justice, I do damage. I do not do empathy, I do damage. I do not do forgiveness, I do damage. I do not do mercy, I do damage.”

“Like, you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life.”

“I’m fine, I’ve had worse.”

“I’m meaner than my demons.”

“If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.”

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black?”

“He was like a storm.”

“You want to play dirty? Fine, let’s play dirty!”

{ feels an emotion. } “Who the fuck authorised this?!”

“What the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?”

“Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.”

“Goddamn right you should be scared of me.”

“They wanted a monster; I decided to give them one.”

“Seduce and destroy.”

“What the fuck is intimacy? How does that work? Letting… people be close to you? What the fuck?”

“You couldn’t kill me if you tried for one hundred years.”

“I’ll do this my way.”

“I am severely emotionally unstable.”

“What, from the bottom of the heart, the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t take any orders. I barely take suggestions.”

“I send my best regards from Hell.”

“I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter and too hot for you.”

“Me and God, we don’t get along.”

“Be brave, Angel.”

“Self care is drinking three pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight with God.”

{ takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle } “My day was fine.”

“Have I stabbed you? No. Then I am being nice.”

“Holy Shit! I’M the demon living in my house.”

“Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.”

“I want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. The only romantic gesture.”

“ ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ I'm a threat!”

“Stop being so defensive! I’m just trying to hit you with weapons.”

“The more knives you have the more valid you are.”

“She’s strong but she’s exhausted.”

“She loves moonlight and rainstorms and so many other things that have soul.”

“My darling, you can’t see it can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you are both full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful.”

“Calm her chaos but never silence her storm.”

“She wears strength and darkness equally well. That girl has always been half Goddess, half Hell.”

“She has been through Hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into the fire and smiles.”

“She’s proof that you can walk through Hell and still be an angel.”

“She is both hellfire and holy water. And the flavour you taste depends on how you treat her.”

“Even the mountains can not hold all you have been carrying.”

“Storm with skin.”

“She’s thunderstorms”

“Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“Butterflies are the Heaven-sent kisses of an angel.”

“She who is brave is free.”

“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”

“Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

“Girls who run in heels should be feared.”

“Family is everything to me.”

“She’s an old soul that believes in chivalry, romance, and love.”

“I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.”

“I run on coffee and grace.”

“I’m glad I’ve got boobs… the last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.”

“Tell me to put on my big girl panties one more time… and I’ll take off my thong and strangle you with it!”

“Please read all my posts in a sarcastic tone. You know, for full effect.”

“I have one nerve left and you’re dry-humping it, go away.”

“If I offend you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears, eating chips and working on my tan.”

“When she is happy, she can’t stop talking. When she is sad, she doesn’t say a word.”

“Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.”

“Act like a lady, think like a boss.”

“I know I have friends but I feel I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.”

“She was special. She combined a mean angel and a kind devil.”

“So much pain for someone so young.”

“She’s one of a kind.”

“Red lips and wine sips.”

“Brave girl, it’s time to love again.”

“She is intelligent.”

“Sometimes, when I say ‘I’m okay.’ I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, ‘I know you’re not.’ ”

“Because I’m not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.”

“I fear I will spend my life, waiting for a love story that doesn’t exist.”

“You’re a woman, use it; bring every man you meet to his motherfucking knees.”

“She denies it but, the truth is, she’s falling in love with him.”

“Hearing your heels click on the floor sounds like power.”

“She loves deeply, regardless of the love she gets back in return and it’s both her biggest strength and biggest weakness…”

“Experience raised her. Hurt taught her. Neither defined her.”

“She was not fragile like a flower was, she was fragile like a bomb.”

“Life is short; make every hair flip count.”

“I’ve always been someone who looks ‘too deep’ into something or someone. That’s because I realised from a young age that there’s always more than what meets the eye.”

“If I say ‘first of all’ Run away because I have prepared research, data, charts, and will destroy you.”

“Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.”

“You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!”

“She’s a combination of sensitive and savage.”

“Stay classy, sassy and a bit bad assy.”

“She’s battling things her smile will never tell you about.”

“Ain't you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?”

“I was told I was dangerous… I asked why? They said ‘because you don’t need anyone.’ That’s when I smiled.”

“She’s been through hell and came out an angel. You didn’t break her darling, you don’t own that kind of power.”

“Watch me. I will go to my own sun and, if I am burned by the flames, I will fly on scorched wings.”

“Her messy hair is a visible attribute to her stubborn spirit. As she shakes it free, she smiles, knowing wild is her favourite colour.”

“She’s strong. But in the back of her mind she doesn’t think that she was meant to be this strong for this long. And she wonders if there is a man out there, somewhere, who understands this.”

“She’s not for everyone and she knows it. People find her different and strange. She dances in the rain, she laughs when she cries and loves through her pain. People fear the unknown and they never knew a girl like her.”

“Don’t tell a girl with fire in her veins and hurricane bones what she should and shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, she will shatter that ridiculous cage you attempt to build around her beautiful bohemian spirit.”

“You provoke her until she roars and then get upset at her for becoming the monster you created.”

“Rip out his ego with your fresh nails.”

“She isn’t the sunrise; she’s the fucking sun.”

“You can’t touch a woman who can wear pain like the grandest of diamonds around her neck.”

“Watch your tongue around her. She will bear her fangs and tear you apart with all the grace of a Queen.”

“If you won’t embrace her madness, then you’ll never taste her magic.”

“Beauty may be dangerous but intelligence is lethal.”

“She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you.”

“Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul.”

“I wish that I could say that I am a light that never goes out, but I flicker from time to time.”

“Spoil me with loyalty. I can finance myself.”

“Shoutout to all the people with brown hair and brown eyes! We basic as fuck but we cute!”

“I feel a nap coming on.”

“Is horny an emotion?”

“I just really like thigh-highs.”

“Even though she looks innocent, she is really a perverted demon.”

“She didn’t sob or wail. Her pain was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound.”

“I don’t rise from the ashes, I make them. I’m the whole fucking fire.”

“Beautiful but destructive.”

“I’m aiming for the ‘she’s a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking’ look.”

“Loving me must be so fucking hard and I’m so sorry.”

“Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it.”

“You glow differently when you’re actually happy.”

“She’s magic, that one.”

“Kicked out of Hell.”

“Red hair: the crown you never take off.”

“You’ve got a fire inside.”

“She doesn’t need a warrior, she is one. What she needs is a devout heart, and strong arms to hold her after her battles are won.”

“You are the love that came without warning: You had my heart before I could say no.”

“You want battle? I’ll give you war.”

“True evil is, above all things, seductive.”

“The Devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

“Haven’t I fallen far enough?”

“I’m not like them, but I can pretend.”

“I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Now I grow wings and rage, and learn how to kill.”

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”

“Though she be little, she be fierce.”

“I know what this is; It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.”

“You underestimate my power.”

#roleplay memes #rp memes #roleplay sentence starters #sentence starters #rp starters #sentence memes

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monsoonblooms12 · 4 years ago

Note

It's time for Pooja and Ethan to play round two of our favorite game ;)

Here we go!

For Both

What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

What did they want to be when they were younger?

What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Bree, thank you so much for these! I loved answering them (and got a little carried away, hehe😅)! But seriously, thank you and love you❤️!

1. What’s the most embarrassing childhood story you know about your spouse?

Pooja: (Evil Laughter)

Ethan: Anything except that Teddy Bear tale.

Pooja: Anything?

Ethan: Why does that scare me?

Pooja: Because I do have some good stories to share about you (winks)

Ethan: My God.

Pooja: This story is around the time when he was 10 or 11. This man was quite an aspiring chef when he was young, I must say. So, it was the first time he was going to make pancakes and he was super enthusiastic about it. He was like, "you just put the batter, flip them and tada!"

Ethan: That's not true.

Pooja: Keep convincing yourself, sweetheart (giggles)

The preparation was going really nice, he had the batter made perfectly, all ready to pour. And then he switched on the stove, placed the pan and poured the batter in it. In the goddamn cold pan.

Ethan: Ugh.

Pooja: And then when he realized that the pancake was taking much longer than it should to get prepared, he put it on high flame and went to drink water. Safe to say, by the time he returned, the poor pancake was all black. 27 years after, he still cannot make them (chuckles)

Ethan: At least I try.

Pooja: (still chuckling) Definitely, I give you a point for that.

Ethan: Pooja's story is more about her trying to be a mini detective when she was 7.

Pooja: Oh no!

Ethan: Oh yes. It was her mother's art exhibition, and she, like the perfect kid she was, she walked all around the place with her mom. One lady, was very curiously gazing at one of her mom's paintings and then started taking pictures of them. Little Poo thought that she was going to carry out a heist and steal all the art pieces, so she took out her faux phone, went close to the lady, and said as loudly as she could, "Hello 911? One lady is trying to steal my mommy's art."

Pooja: She was being suspicious, I couldn't help it.

Ethan: Mini detective (chuckles)

2. What did they want to be when they were younger?

Pooja: Ethan actually wanted to be a chef until he pancake burnt up to ashes. After that, he wanted to be a detective.

Ethan: She wanted to be a private investigator too, later it was forensic investigator.

3. What was your spouse's favorite band in high school?

Pooja: Ethan's favorite was Snow Patrol, and I am glad to be married to a man with superior music taste.

Ethan: Pooja was not much of a band person. She was and still is, an old classic Bollywood music lover. But if I had to choose, Silk Road & Sanam, both Indian bands.

4. Describe your spouse in high school using memes or/and gifs only.

Pooja: Ah, yes, love this question.

Ethan: I will never understand this craze over gifs or memes or whatever they are called.

Pooja: Well, it's quite easy to guess, because I don't think there is much difference between this Ethan & that Ethan.

Ethan: Pooja has two very clearly distinguishable moods, one when she is hyper productive,

And the other when she is super lazy.

Pooja: I- You just described my entire life with those two.

Ethan: I just know you well, Rookie.

5. How old was your spouse when they had their first kiss? Who was it with?

Pooja: He was almost 15 when he kissed his Highschool sweetheart, Eva. He wanted to make his first kiss a special occasion, with a date and all, but it just happened and I don't think he regrets it.

Ethan: She wasn't my high school sweetheart, we just liked each other. And I do wish that my first kiss was you.

Pooja: Aww, stop (blushing)

Ethan: (After giving Poo a cheek kiss) Pooja's first kiss was actually an accident.

Pooja: And here I was relaxed thinking you won't bring it up after the embarrassing story question.

Ethan: (Whole-hearted chuckle) But technically it was your first kiss, accidental or not.

Pooja: (Totally embarrassed) Whatever.

Ethan: This was when she was 14. There was guy in her class who liked her, and wanted to date her. One day, Pooja slipped on a puddle of water, and he, trying to help, held her hand. The next moment, he was on the top of her, lips touching.

Pooja: (in a pleading tone) Please, Pleease, Stop. It's too embarrassing!

6. If you two were the same age and had met in college, how would you have met? Would you have liked each other? Dated? Eventually married?

Pooja: Oh, most definitely! Honestly, I feel like us falling in love is inevitable.

Ethan: I do not believe in soulmate stuff, but it's unimaginable for me to not fall in love with you.

Pooja: (lays her head on his shoulder as he gives her a kiss on the forehead) I think we would have met as opponents at a debate competition. We would be the only two yelling till the end of the competition, trying to prove the other wrong, until the judges got fed up and asked us to stop. Even after the competition, we would still meet in the corridors and tell the other how wrong they were.

Ethan: After sometime, we would become friends over shared interests, and after getting to know her, I would naturally start to fall for her.

Pooja: Me too! I would be totally like, "No matter how much he yells and how wrong he was, he is still cute. And not a totally bad guy." We would gradually become best friends.

Ethan: I would be the one to comfort her when she discovers her crush is in relationship with someone else.

Pooja: And you would realize that you are in love with me (gives him an elbow nudge)

Ethan: (softly smiling) Maybe I would. And I would imagine you falling in love with me not much later.

Pooja: And then we would be sitting alone, talking about random stuff. Suddenly we look at each other's eyes, and before we realize it, we are kissing.

Ethan: We would start dating afterwards, all through med school and residency. I would definitely want to marry her, have a future with her. I like to imagine that I would be lucky enough and she would agree to be mine.

Pooja: No matter which universe, I would always agree to marry you. Every time.

(They share a soft kiss, heart full of love for each other)

7. Which of your spouse's friends is the most attractive?

Ethan: All her friends are quite attractive, even if she the only one who catches my eye.

Pooja: I am assuming that you mean all my current friends and not ex-friends. Or Landry.

(Ethan's face scrunches up in disgust and Pooja's question is answered)

Pooja: For me, it's Tobias.

Ethan: (Rolls his eyes) Him out of everyone else? You could have said Mark.

Pooja: Mark is attractive, for sure, but he has become more of my brother over time. Also, if he got to know it, he would never let me live it down (chuckles)

Ethan: But still, Tobias...

Pooja: You are jealous, aren't you? (Winks)

Ethan: (Quickly straightens his face) No, Of course not. I don't get jealous Rookie, don't forget.

Pooja: Sure thing, E, sure thing.

8. Who was your spouse's hero when they were growing up?

Ethan: Pooja and I have similar opinions on this. We don't have a hero or an idol. Yes, there are quite a few people who have inspired us, but we both don't have any hero. For Pooja, it was her parents, especially her mother. Later on, it was Kadambini Bose, the first woman from India to practice medicine and (gives a striking smile, bubbling with happiness) of course, me.

Pooja: (Mimicking him) Of course, me.

Ethan: (in a teasing tone) Is it not true?

(Pooja just rolls her eyes)

Pooja: For Ethan, it was his father and Naveen.

Ethan: You too, Rookie.

Pooja: (With genuine curiosity) Me?

Ethan: You have inspired me to appreciate the little things in life and to love myself. You have played a big role in making me the man I am today.

Pooja: (Sniffles) Did you come here with an aim to make me cry, Dr Ramsey?

Ethan: (Smiling at her) It's the truth and you should know it.

9. Can you name all your spouse’s exes before you?

Ethan: This is probably the easiest question for me to answer. She has had three relationships in total. A lot of crushes, but very few actual relationships. One was during her middle school, I guess his name was Shresht. The second one was with her best friend, Ayaan and lasted all through med school. The last one, is Me.

Pooja: The ones I know are Eva and Rosalie in high school, Renia in med school and Harper during his residency and after. Ethan has a number of casual and serious relationships and honestly, I am not surprised. Everyone wants to be with a man like him (Winks)

Ethan: You are the only one who can have me.

Pooja: (Places a hand over her heart) I am honoured, Dr Ramsey. And lucky, so damn lucky.

Ethan: I am lucky one here, love. (Gives her a forehead kiss)

#ethan x pooja #asks answered🤍#newlywed questions with our favourite host Bree💕

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doggiedrawings · 4 years ago

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A Short Break

This will be the first time that I am taking a “vacation break” since the pandemic started, and my shop will be closed until November 25th. A dear friend is lending us her house near Santa Barbara for the weekend. We will still be staying in, social distancing and all that, but it will be so nice to take a break from our usual routine, to be near a beach, to have time outdoors.

I have had friends and customers reach out to me to ask how I am doing. Thank you for your concern and care.

It has been 4 weeks since Boogie’s death but I have lost sense of time and sometimes it feels like it was only 1 week ago. I wish I could say I was feeling “better” but I am still struggling.

GRIEVING...

is emotionally, physically painful. It is exhausting. I have trouble getting to sleep at night without medication. I cry so much everyday that my eyes are puffy and sore, and my sinuses are often blocked. I also take painkillers everyday for the headaches.

I feel like I am in a state of low-level panic all the time...I can feel my heart racing at certain moments of the day (when Boogie and I do stuff together), I am jolted by all kinds of subtle sounds in this silent apartment - pipes creaking in the ceiling, rustles of unknown things, electrical hums, my own breathing... “Where is my little dog? What should I do? I don’t know what to do”. In this silence, I hear everything. It’s hard to focus.

Sometimes I cannot bear to be on Facebook. Friends are posting #challenges that involve sharing something about your dog...or memes about snuggling/training with their dogs... and it’s unbearable.

I see social media posts - dog articles, dog books, dog events - I would normally get excited about these! Now I have to consider if it is SAFE YET for me to read certain articles/books and where my mind will go.... This is a problem.

I still love looking at photos of dogs. It’s photos of PEOPLE WITH DOGS that are triggering, and they remind me of my own loss. I look at photos of Boogie and they make me smile; they warm my heart. But when I look at photos of Boogie and me together - these break my heart. I don’t just miss him; I miss US.

I go for walks. Every street is rich with Boogie memories. The street where he liked to watch squirrels. The street where he got a foxtail up his nose. The street with the barky dog behind the fence. The street where he pooped into an empty box and I had to carry this box around for ages... My own street - where I know he won’t be at home to greet me when I return. I am walking and crying at the same time. (I am grateful to friends who go for walks with me)

Friends have told me that having Boogie’s ashes with me should bring some comfort (”he is with you now”) but I have mixed feelings about this. They are a brutal reminder that he is dead. He is really gone. And yet I cannot bear to send these ashes into an ocean or get rid of them because I have trouble letting go.

Organizing his toys and clothes - the hardest.

I know I am not alone in this grief and as a friend said to me “Grief is a type of insanity”. I know others who have lost their companion animals and they are still crying, months later. I am functioning, but I have trouble feeling “happy” or “excited” about anything.

I know this process will take time. I don’t know how long it will take and this scares me. I look forward to when I am no longer ugly-crying everyday, and when I am strong enough and assured enough again in myself to adopt a new little friend. I am not there yet.

EARLY PHOTOS of a younger Boogie:

Thank you for reading,

Lili x

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some-creep · 5 years ago

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CREEP RANKS EVERY SONG IN NIER... AUTOMATA (mostly) BY TITLE

Because, like, no one played Gestalt. Also this game has more songs.

Significance Like. I guess. It’s a title you can use. What is significant? We don’t know. The characters don’t know. They are struggling to find out. We all are. What is meaning? What really matters? I don’t know but we’re all crying. 8/10

City Ruins – Rays of Light / Shade Plays in the ruins of the city. Exactly as advertised. Sounds sad like you might imagine. 9/10

Peaceful Sleep This is the Resistance camp right? Peaceful things don’t tend to happen there honestly. At least not as we keep going. Sounds like a sleepy JRPG town though. Ok title for the mood it gives. I like this song a lot so I’m cheating and giving it more points than I know it deserves as just, like, a title. 8/10

Memories of Dust Sand is dusty. What memories? We’re making them. Cool title. Sounds like a YA novel though. 9/10

Birth of a Wish Genuinely often get confused with the Silent Hill 2 bonus story Born from a Wish whenever I try to remember what this song is called. This Cannot Continue / 10

The Color of Depression This is like… a really cool title. Thanks. That Scanner boy is not gonna live the happy family life you all for some reason keep suggesting he is. Bad things are gonna happen to him. He dies anyway. 11/10

Amusement Park Yeah. I guess. We certainly are in the amusement park level. Creep why does this one rank so much lower than City Ruins which was also just “name of location”. Amusement park is not a cool title. City Ruins is a cool title. 7/10

A Beautiful Song Would you say Simone has girlpower? Would you say Simone successfully used her girlpower to kill and consume countless androids and also turn them into near lifeless weapons and body jewelry? 9/10

Voice of No Return Sad title. Sad song. Exactly as advertised once again. I feel sad listening to the Automata OST most of the time. Is this quest complete in the camp? I think so. Anyway it’s really sad. I love to cry. 11/10

Grandma – Destruction Um so this is like. Genuinely a horrible title. It reminds me of the title of a darkweb video which I will say no more on. This song is REALLY good its a shame this title is so… uh. Bad. It’s just bad. 1/10

Faltering Prayer – Dawn Breeze / Starry Sky This is another really cool title. This game is about like… life after god. I’m not here to get thematic. I say in a list entirely about if the song fits the theme. Anyway this is a cool title. The song again… sounds sad. One of them is a music box which I love. Cheating again. 10/10

Emil’s Shop EVERY DAY’S A SALE. EVERY SALE’S A WIN. 12/10!!

Treasured Times The fact this plays after Emil’s shop on the OST is the biggest tonal whiplash in the world. This song makes me feel an emotion I cannot describe. It’s something like sadness but not quite. This isn’t a review of the songs, just the title. But reading the title makes me feel that emotion too but stronger when I think about it. I don’t know. 9/10

Vague Hope – Cold Rain / Spring Rain Good title… Thematically very appropriate. Not COOL like some of the others but it feels right feels canon. I like it. It’s just the city ruins quest complete song but it also plays in one of the fucking… DLC fights. That makes me extra sad. 10/10

End of the Unknown Which unknown was ended. Genuinely think when this plays I had more unknowns than knowns. This song sounds like every song from the Gestalt DLC. 6/10.

Pascal At least Automata has far fewer “named after a character” songs. They just have named after a place songs. I love Pascal so if I give this a low score he might be upset. 8/10

Forest Kingdom It really… the forest huh. Random but one of the songs in Code Vein does a vocal thing that always reminds me of this song for some reason. That has nothing to do with this game or this songs title at all I just wanted to tell you. Long Live The Forest King / 10

Dark Colossus – Kaiju This song is also in Gestalt. It’s cooler here. More stakes. Song title suggests less stakes though? That’s kinda weird. Because of this it loses points. I’m sorry. 7/10

Copied City Dude I left this one off the list when I first typed it out lol. Someone not to @ anyone told me this was based on Nier’s village. Lie to me again. I don’t know what City is being Copied. One of them. It reminds me more of the Cathedral City from DoD3. Which is a bad horrible game that I completed 100%. 8/10

Wretched Weaponry Not to be confused with Wretched Automatons. Is this like, a remix? My ears don’t work so I don’t know. Don’t inform me because I love being stupid. Anyway, in the narrative it makes sense. It’s a good, cool title. Song is softer than the title would suggest. 9/10

Possessed by Disease COOL SONG TITLE. Thank you. This plays… somewhere. Uh. Hm. I’ve 100% completed this game like three times. 9/10

Broken Heart You think you’re gonna hear a sad song? SURPRISE. Sinister as hellllll. Subverted expectations baby. MCU take notes. I’ve never seen a movie in the MCU. Loving the dark tones in this. Broken heart but the emotion isn’t just sad. GOOD STUFF. 10/10

Mourning Again. You think it’s gonna be sad? But BOOM. It isn’t. I mean it still is, but in a dark way. These aren’t song reviews. These are title reviews. But if a title suggests one thing and delivers another that’s still a valid point right? I don’t know. Hey wait isn’t this just Shadowlord’s Castle? Yonah / 10

Dependent Weakling Well, it’s no Song of the Ancients – Fate, but it’ll do. In all seriousness, this is like, a great song title for Eve’s boss battle. Y’know, because he relied so heavily on Adam and all’a that. Maybe a little on the nose. Maybe a little rude. Eve sucks / 10

Rebirth & Hope Sounds hopeful. Plays during ending A where we see a Rebirth cos 9S super doesn’t die. This song is literally 30 seconds long why am I even bothering. Oh, right, because it’s on the OST at all. 30 second songs / 10

War & War Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room. It… sounds like a war room song. A preparing for a big battle song. Once again, exactly as advertised. Plays before a big battle. It really thematic naming! Peace was never an option. 8/10

Crumbling Lies Words cannot express how much I adore this song. First of all, title is on point. It’s the song that plays when you get to Route C. Literally the moment I fell in love with the game. The Bunker is destroyed, which, again… maybe it’s a bit on the nose. I don’t care. This is the perfect song title to the perfect song. I will die on this hill. 12/10

Widespread Illness Red Eye except it’s robots now. Very thematically appropriate. Everyone is dying. There’s nothing you can do to cure it except kill them. They’re incredibly infectious. Zombie Virus but with Robots. Can you tell I don’t remember what it’s called? I’m writing this at 1am and I’ve decided it’s funnier if I don’t look anything up. Sounds very somber… I like it. 9/10

Fortress of Lies Not to be dramatic but when I read this English title I was like MMMMMMMNNN because like. I get it. It plays in the Bunker. Which… is built on lies. Again. Incredibly on the nose but when I learned what the song was called I just fucking DIED the first time. I’m stupid. I don’t care. 11/10

Song of the Ancients – Atonement Another song I died when I learned the title of. Devola and Popola in that game have nothing to atone for. They are atoning for sing they did not commit. Punished for the crimes of another set of Androids, possibly thousands of miles away. It’s not fair. They have nothing to atone for. They’ve done nothing wrong. 12/10 crying creeps.

Blissful Death FUCK. This one plays in the Devola and Popola like. Text Adventure part. Which is just. I love it so much. No one dies in that though. Well… maybe someone does. It’s not impossible that Popola hurt someone. It’s suggested that, maaaaybe she did. No one stops. No one Stops.

Emil – Despair Emil’s life has quite literally only been despair. Please don’t bully him with your song titles like this… 9/10

Alien Manifestation Vintage meme of that guy from the history channel with the impact font that just says Aliens. This game has aliens, I will give you that. They’re all dead though. I guess the machines are aliens but. Eh. Wait doesn’t this play in the castle? There aren’t even aliens there what the fuck. 5/10

The Tower There’s a tower. This plays there. Thank you. Also the name of a tarot card I think? That could be cool if I knew a single goddamn thing about tarot cards. I don’t. 6/10

Bipolar Nightmare Cool flying section. Has anyone found Grun skip yet? Because the bounty for that was like. A lot of money. Vaguely a cool song title. I kinda like it. Although for some reason it reminds me of The Evil Within’s Japanese title, Psychobreak. So I think I like it less because of that. Not the worst title, but maybe the lowest of the COOL EDGY song titles. Fucking love the piano part in this one though. 7/10

The Sound of the End Really super cool and sexy song title. 2B is going to die but she can’t let anyone else get hurt because of it. She’s already done so much damage. This song is really dramatic sounding. The title is dramatic. Love this one a lot. The actual playable segment is kind of a struggle. But I think that’s the point… 10/10

Weight of the World / End of YoRHa I once got into an internet fight because I said this song is about every character except 9S because of the line “I’m only one girl”. I was corrected that the Japanese version is basically EXCLUSIVELY about 9S. None of this is relevant at all I just wanted to remember it. I still do not like 9S. Thematically a brilliant title. Everyone feels like they must do so much… but you cannot bear the weight of the world alone. Ending E legitimately makes me cry. Whenever I think about the messages from other players supporting me? It’s a lot. What the fuck. 12/10

#nier #nier automata #long post #creep ranks

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parvasilvi · 5 years ago

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Endeavour Fandom Meme tagged by @wherehefoundtheporcupine, thanks!

Top 5 Episodes

Ride is my absolute #1 favourite. I’ve watched it so many times. The plot is so ridiculous. Great Gatsby&the Prestige crossover? I love it. Morse taking the time to heal after trauma? I needed so much more of that. THE HAIR? Forever in love. Home is also a favourite. Endeavour’s so YOUNG there. We get to see some of his family. We get some Thursday backstory. They take down the (former) mob-boss together. Morse looks so terribly fragile at the end. I just love it. Trove, immediately following Home, also great. Morse slowly piecing himself back together after being shot in the pevious season’s finale. Protective Dad!Thursday. The way Morse snarks at the snooty professor. The kindness he shows Frida Yelen’s dad. The tender moment with Monica. There’s a lot to love in this episode. Neverland almost didn’t make it in the top 5, because the puppet CREEPS me out, but I had to have it here, if only for Morse standing with Thursday, doing what’s right, despite the (DIRE) consequences. AND the POEM! I could listen to that on repeat except I cant handle the emotions. And lastly Deguello, andother episode where Morse takes on the corrupt upper layers, only this time with the Cowley team standing by him. Also by this episode I had gotten used to the Morsestache and could almost live with it.

Runner-up for Quartet for fantastic spy shenanigans, and also just mentioning Coda as a runner-up because I enjoy the angst of the bankrobbery but am not really here for manipulation-via-women that’s the plot of this episode.

Seasons in Order of Preference (or tops)

Gods must you do this to me? There’s highs and lows in all things. S3, S1, S2, S5, S4, S6. I haven’t brought myself to watch S7 yet, I worry it’ll make me dislike the show. It all seems so DIRE. I prefer the earlier seasons where there wasn’t AS much strife between Thursday and Morse, though the differences were always there I suppose. S3 is a definite fave, I love all 4 films that year. S4, the season where Joan left without saying anything, is only so low because it hurts my heart soo much. I cannot bear Win’s suffering. She breaks my heart in season 4, what a phenomenal performance with the little screentime she has. I love Win so much.

Favourite Scene(s)

Season 3, episode 1; Morse is back in Oxford, where he belongs, and he’s sitting on a bench next to Thursday. They discuss the case, Morse predicts the sandwich. And then, finally FINALLY. Morse talks about what prison was like. He tries to keep it light, but it’s... it’s still so fresh. But Thursday listens, and reassures him when he starts to doubt himself. And these actors, their faces, it’s just. I love it.

Honorary mentions for the bed-shopping scene with Monica which is adorable and I love their love, the scene where Morse and Claudine discuss rain and sex because I like when Morse is happy, the exact way in which Thursday says "He's an idealist" in S6 finale Deguello as he's explaining why he can't get Morse to back off, and the scene after Fancy’s death, between Morse and Frazil because the way Morse says “he was 23″ and the look on Frazil’s face always brings tears to my eyes.

Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

I don’t really know? Despite the imporance of music in the show, I don’t really pay too much attention. I wish we had more of Morse’s singing. If I had to pick something I’d pick have Ein Deutches Requiem from Trove, but that’s mostly because I recognised it from when I sang it with my choir, and then I listened to (and hummed) the whole Requiem for about a month because of nostalgia and for the max Endeavour vibes it was giving me.

Also, I agree with wherehfoundtheporcupine; the theme tune. It’s so... wistful? I think? Just the association with the show I love, but also the soft beginning, swelling to that dramatic rolling melody and then the tender ending. Yeah.

Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

Probably this shot from Ride:

(gif by @guardiansinferno)

I’m also a big fan of the way Morse never looks at bodies for long, and he’s always angled away from them in groupshots. He can’t escape it, but he’ll never be comfortable around death, and turn away as soon as he can.

Favourite Ensemble Character that isn’t Morse

Win. I just love her. I love how Caroline O’Neill plays her. I love how gentle and kind and supportive and welcoming and caring she is. But I also love how she stands up for herself, how strong she must be, as we see in glimpses of her life as a policeman’s wife. She’s amazing.

Runner up for Bright, who I’ll be honest I didn’t like at first, but now even on rewatches is always a joy to behold. Look at that man. He got where he is by doing things by the book, but he’s slowly learning that sometimes justice trumps order, and that it’s the people that are important, not the laws.

Favourite One-episode Character

Probably Bettina Pettybon, bless her poor heart. She has such a huge arc in the one episode she’s in. I hope she’s out there living her best life.

Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

Smiling (gif by @snappyjenkins) The scarf (despite the negative connotations) also looks really good on him.

Runner up for this look (gif by @mykingackles):

Biggest Disappointment

The unresolved plot with Joan Thursday. Actually, the confusing character development of Joan Thursday. I wish we knew more about her mindset after Coda, and after coming back. I wish they hadn’t done the will-they-won’t-they-no-of-course-they-won’t-cause-canon thing for so long. Now they both just seem wishy-washy.

Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

I keep forgetting that Morse has a sister, and I think the show should cater to me in that regard and actually mention her every once in a while. Let him talk about calling his sister, or end an episode with him dialing her number or something if you can’t afford to get the actress back. Actually, extrapolating from that I’m done with Endeavour - Lone Wolf. Let him make (and keep!) some friends, even outside the precinct. He’s a prickly bugger at the best of times, but even prickly buggers find soft pincushions to stick to. I don’t know where this metaphor is going, let’s get back on track - Morse is kind in his own way. He cares, almost too much sometimes. Give us someone who cares back. I miss the Monica seasons.

Free Space! (Make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

I haven’t given enough love to Dorothea Frazil in all the previous questions. She’s such a great character, we really should’ve gotten more from her. I love the dynamic she has with the main duo, the way she and Morse seem to always be on the same wavelength, and how antagonistic Thursday is towards her. I wonder if it’s because he’s so old-fashioned and she’s not having that patriarchal bullshit, or if it’s just because she’s a journalist. I should go back and add Game to my favourite episodes, just because of her scenes in that, and the way Morse doesn’t even have to say what happened to her protogé. Also the way Trewlove puts that asshat who underestimates her chess knowledge in his place. God this show has so many amazing moments.

I have the feeling this game is spreading like wildfire through the fandom, I’ve seen it on my dash a lot, but I’m going to tag @endeavourous and @snappyjenkins cause I don’t think I’ve seen theirs yet?

#itv endeavour #that took a long time to put together #such difficult questions!#but fun #fun to think about it so thoroughly #fun to review all the episodes again #endeavour

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ajoraverse · 4 years ago

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Does anyone care? Nah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . But this meme crossed my main dash so I’m gonna answer it here because I know no one would actually play memes with me anymore. This is the Beta AU post; FFV will be separate.

What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along? I mean, Alfredot has been creating gems for thousands of years by the time she stopped. She generally gets along well with them, for how little time she’s able to spend with them before they get shipped out.

What OC has/is a mentor? Alfredot both had a mentor and has been one. And in better years, she was a fair one. It’s just been in the past 5000 years that she broke and became that one jerk teacher no one likes but is the only one who teaches Advanced Exogeology.

What OC has a huge group of friends? I’m not sure if Skinny/Twig counts because she’s based on a bit canon character, but definitely her. She tends to get along with everyone.

What OC has a small, close group of friends? Mist never makes friends easily, and a lot of that is because of trauma, but she sticks to them when she can.

What OC has, like, one friend? Alfredot used to have a larger pool, but all her friends are either dead or have been driven away by 5000 years of her being a bitter asshole.

What OC is the Mom Friend? Twig

What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Bear could honestly really use a friend, given her difficulties, but not a lot of people want to make the effort to slow down for her.

Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? Alfredot and Mist, if they ever reunite

What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs? Twig and Mouse, easily. They’re both so laid back that they can shoot the breeze for years and not get annoyed with each other.

What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Look, Prasiolite was Alfredot’s daughter and I’m sorry I never got to really explore that.

What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? I really love exploring taboo and complicated relationships, so it was always gonna be Alfredot and Mist.

Which two OCs are the most different from each other? Oh, goodness, Twig and Copper are as different as night and day. Up until Twig gets all Ahab, anyway.

Which OCs complement each other the best? This is a good question and I think Twig would be good for helping Burgundy and Copper to step down on the intensity a bit.

Which OCs get along the best with each other? Oh, gosh, probably Sunstone and Twig, if they ever met. Twig would find Sunstone’s genuine desire to do good to be refreshing, and Sunstone would look up to Twig’s unwillingness to let anything get to her.

Whch OCs get along the worst with each other? Copper and Albite (who may or may not be one and the same, opinion pending) would, ironically, find Sunstone’s optimism and goodwill aggravating.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did? Despite Albite’s disapproval with how pearls are made, she would approve of Copper’s attempts at revolution--mostly what she hates is inaction and compliance. She would also be more approving of Alfredot’s efforts at fueling and informing Copper’s revolution if she had any idea Alfredot would eventually grow a spine. And oh, goodness would Albite love Bismuth and Pearl.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? Sunstone and Star Sapphire do actually know of each other, and Star Sapphire does manipulate Sunstone, but Sunstone would loathe the way Star Sapphire plays behind the scenes (despite, well, doing her own manipulations--Star Sapphire operates out of a necessary distance because she’s ancient beyond belief, Sunstone is still young enough and well-meaning enough to believe the best of people).

Which OCs would make the worst couple? Oh god I cannot see Albite with anyone, she’s too dedicated to her movement and it occupied her every thought. Likewise with Copper.

What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? Mist might have made a very loud wark when meeting Twig, who was the first of her gems to have met her.

Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest? Star Sapphire and Alfredot.

Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends? Look, Twig will befriend everyone at a moment’s notice.

Which OCs spend the most time together? Stoneshaper is actually the gem who spends the most time with Mist post-corruption, because she likes a captive audience and Mist doesn’t mind her making things in front of her.

Which OCs have fought with each other the most? The triplets fight with everyone, tbh. They’re soldiers without purpose and need a guide.

Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person? Not really. Most of them have met at least once. Moonstone had acquaintances she only met through the network, but as she is so detached from everything due to sheer age, she doesn’t grow close to anyone.

Do any OCs have imaginary friends? Nope

Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends? Alfredot has a harder time making friends the older she gets.

How did OC meet their best friend? Peach Pearl was just dropped in Sunstone’s lap one day. And it was a rocky start (haha), but they do get to be close friends.

How did OC meet their worst enemy? Well, see, Lapis dragged Jasper under the sea and forced a fusion for months and Twig hated her since.

How did OC meet their significant other? If OC does not have a SO, do they want one? Sunstone being genuinely ace, she’s just as happy to be bffs with someone.

How does OC get along with their parents? Alfredot got on very well with her maker. Well enough to be apprenticed to her.

Does OC have siblings? Do they get along if they do? Do they wish they had some if they don’t? Twig has plenty of siblings, some she gets along with better than others. But it’s with Jasper that she has the most sibling-like relationship.

Does OC have or want kids? Twig has so many human kids, you guys.

Is OC/Would OC be a good parent? Twig is the best parent. She will drop everything for the kids, even if none of them came from her body. They were her wives’ kids, so they’re her kids too.

What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over? It’s not been explored at all, but Alfredot started bonding with Albite over ship building and maintenance.

What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? I actually want to say Albite and Alfredot, if just because Albite’s movement and eventual death ended up influencing Alfredot’s life up until she ended up freeing Mist, shuttling freed pearls to the pearl enclave on the first colony, and enabling Copper’s revolution.

How has OC been affected by their friendships? They’ve all been influenced by friendships.

How has OC been affected by their family relationships? Twig is the biggest family girl because of her relationships with other Beta gems

How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof? Losing Mist may have made Alfredot bitter and wholly unlikeable to everyone who has to take her exogeology classes, but Mist was sort of the final element to push Alfredot into her revolutionary support role.

Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from? Albite sort of set up the scaffolding for Alfredot’s life lessons, but Mist pulled her back enough to see that the scaffolding was there all along.

Who motivates OC? So many things motivate Alfredot, but primarily Albite and Mist.

Who would OC do anything for? Look, Alfredot will give everything to have Mist back.

Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with? If Alfredot never has to deal with Blue Diamond again and not also betray the gems she made, she’ll go rogue at a moment’s notice.

How does OC meet most people? Alfredot mostly meets people through work.

How long does it take OC to open up to people? Alfredot? centuries. Sunstone? minutes, but she always keeps Heliodor to herself.

How much do OC’s friends know about their private life? Most of my OCs are very private people, due in large part to living in an oppressive society in which the walls actually have eyes and ears

How does OC act differently after they know someone better? Alfredot gets a lot less forbidding if she approves of someone.

Who is OC’s favorite person? Alfredot was nice to Sunstone and treated her like an equal, so Sunstone looks up to her a lot and this always mystifies Alfredot.

Who is OC’s least favorite person? The amount of hate Alfredot has for Blue Diamond can be measured on galactic scales, but she would never actually acknowledge it.

Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is? Star Sapphire actually does know Moonstone, and they were friends once upon a time. But as they are both old on the scale of nearly a million years, they’ve drifted apart.

What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else? Alfredot kinda gets up the courage to do more than just mourn her losses from Mist.

#SU: Beta AU

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ofthemuses · 6 years ago

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Area 11 Sentence Meme; from all their released albums

All the Lights In The Sky (2013)

i. vectors

One day I will find you I saw that you were lonely too You reached out and you took me I repressed that time Everything that I forgot, I see it clearly can’t you see that you’re losing your mind A shot to the head leaves it all behind I’ll tear you apart Reach out your hands to catch me reach out your hands and you tear me apart But we are simply killing time I wish I’d see inside your mind I wish I’d seen inside you Almost the same, but not enough Never forgiven, but still in love

ii. euhpemia

Memories of fallen dreams and all those that have died. Demons are possessing me. I feel my hate take flight. I'm choking on my own words and I'm scared of backing down the hope within us all is up in flames Twisted by my warring conscience. The situation's pushing onwards. This can't be, was this me? I think I've lost control. I caused this, I forced this, Can I continue on? I caused this, I forced this, I caused this! Betrayed by trust, forever left to scream. Oh hold me closely and die in my arms, then take this secret with you. I became your puppet master This could fuel The Revolution! This could be my last solution! And all good victories come with a price. Just take my secret with you.

iii. knightmare / frame

What is life but a burden for me? All this anger, burning inside but buried deep One step forward and two to the side, every single time I fall asleep and I feel I'm falling Nightmare comes without warning I can't seem to sleep In my dreams I feel I'm running towards her/his shining light She/he shines for me Just like glass I saw right through Something I couldn't see until I changed my point of view I cannot let you go inside of me, the will to change the world Can a mask be the face of reason? You will answer, to the pieces left behind Well I watched her/him die in your arms Freed but they'll never understand

iv. tokyo house party

I know that this will never work out So it shouldn't even start Cause I'm just a kid at heart And you know that it's such a waste Cause I hate that bitter taste and your bittersweet embrace I feel this has gone to my head I'll never drink again But fuck it, I don't care I don't know what you came here for This is where we are from (The town where nothing goes on) Waiting for our own special moment to die I got lost to find myself I wanna be with you tonight Cause everything's gone; it's been wiped out I feel a change in the pace I know I should run and I should fight But the look in your eyes: I could die here tonight Fear of failure, we're moving so slow

v. shi no barado

I saw your face in the LED's It's something that I can never repay, but I will try anyway. I sent a message I know you'd see Now fate led you down a path to me You're all I ever wanted you can use me, you can kill me My body will be a fortress I will keep you safe from pain My losses are your gains Together we can burn this to the ground, rebuild it into something right I'm not afraid and I'm not alone because you're with me in my dreams I won't give up on this perfect love

vi. cassandra pt. 2

Although it doesn't really matter now You use me, and I use you I'm your savior, you're my muse The best friend that you been to me but I wanna be your enemy You want a reaction You wear a red dress when you're in a bullfight You're drawing attention to your double life In dreams, I'm coming to find you and when I wake I want anyone else. 'Cause I don't love you, It's what I'm telling myself I’m hiding from you, ‘cause we are the same Wait, just wait for me and I'll come around My best friend that I've never seen That's turned you into my enemy No, it's all in my mind I feel I should save myself before this gets too real

vii. the strays

I'd still cheer for you ten years down the line Time stepped away from me Stray from this boring dream What must it be like with your world alight? How could I stay here and rust when I'm set to explode? You can outrun everything but the debts that you owe I'm numb from the distance If it's just the bored asking this kind of thing, where do we fit in? Take what you want from it We're the last ones left Get the others and cut to the next Scene To be truly free Freedom comes not from, but through me Do you remember when the stars were much higher? You would try to count them all But you grew tired - tired - tired

viii. dreams & reality

Dreams... are realities. You mean so much to me I can't forget the way, the choice that we made that day. Is it worth the risk that we take? Waiting and hoping from the side-lines But this is our moment, it's our chance to shine. 'Cause this feels better than the best thing 'Cause we are stronger than anything We've grown from all the things we've been through, And they couldn't break us if they wanted to. Your smile is brighter than the lights in the skies wont you tell me what is real? Lets write our names in history, Let's make these dreams reality,

ix. heaven-piercing giga drill

you came and dug me up into a world full of violence. So many faces, so many trials. They won't stop our evolution. Who do you think we are? Fight against your execution. Trust me and we'll fly, not fall. Tip the balance to risk it all. Together we can go so far. All the lights in the sky are stars. It follows everywhere I go. It carries the hope of humanity, and everything we know. Believe in me, who believes in you.

x. bōsōzoku symphonic

There's three parts to love, or so I believe. There's a part of you you lose, and another you receive. Here I break with the concept, though it's central to the piece. Leave my mark on the canvas, that only you can see. I deferred my happiness, for loneliness and time. But once I'm where I wanna be, you'll be far behind. And the chains that pull me down, slacken off when you're around. And it's comforting to know I'll rip out all the hooks from my skin so I can grow. Sometimes I disagreed, just to hear you scream. You were right, but I needed you to give emotion back to me. I'm not leaving you, I'm not leaving you!

Underline (2014)

i. are you listening?

All aboard this sinking ship No business here it's just relationships Should this mean more to me? Just join the tribe and feel accepted But cool don't come for free The rope that pulled me from the pit now hangs around my neck Is this the clue you wanted? Too cryptic for the rest Play the part of the victim if it puts your mind at ease Put all the blame on me So what you feel, is it nostalgia or love? Tell me now, are you really listening? When everybody tells you to stop, and that you’re never good enough; tell me now, are you really listening? Reach out for help, and she lets you down So gild your pockets, we'll watch you drown Cause this means more to me It's hard when all I see Now we take control We fade into hindsight Can this be realized?

ii. in the blind

I redesign, I realign. I redefine, and yet resign. My only hope: to feel. And when I phased out the "privileged" and the "purpose" I realized that art can never true be separated That should define who I will never be. Sorry. Cause this is the new way Still spinning cycles in my mind Hold me back and keep me down! Drop the weights, accept my fate, and trigger the explosion. Now keep the faith as illusions break and we'll show you something real. And when I reach out into event horizons will there be light and sound, or will it be just me?

iii. override (a)

Willing and wishing to break This won't be over so soon You'll claw yourself out of the womb Are you willing to die? To be born in the spotlight? I won't let you drown Are you willing to die? To be something? We patiently wait your return Rejecting your pitiful life You'll crawl on your hands and your knees You'll feast on the fear you receive And here in the alter you'll give your life for a reason to live Are you ready to die? Are you ready to die? To be more than they say you are? You'll be a mistake The child of the void and the ghost in the tape Can the ego you've sculpted endure the escape? I am willing tonight. I am willing to die to be something; trigger the override

Modern Synthesis (2016)

i. override [C]

Lay the new foundations; reprise Strange are the things that will come around Return to the question, I'm willing to die If this is real and this is anticipation Know it in your mind, hear it once and now you bear the load Are you ready for life? Make a stand in afterglow

ii. the contract

You’ve spent a lifetime locked in the same mindset You break the contract, and smile away your debt I play for closure, through the fear and the thrill of the fight Move a little bit closer, ‘cause you’re in for a jagged night I close my eyes; a toxic calling Just let it resonate, we call it suffering We know just who to trust this time I want you to give me what I need Lay waste to your beliefs, rebuild yourself for me I want you to come alive again I feign obsession, and abbreviate my views You're my possession, until I'm done with you I want you to feel as I feel I want you; submit yourself to me Your body and your mind; give it willingly Just sign the contract

iii. watchmaker

Serve or break the patterns that would be Middle child of eternity The creeping vines of anomie I never wanted to believe I never asked if I could stay Switch the pressures you relieve Sketching parallels to understand why I can't share your love I’m only building what I meant to do so many lives ago

iv. versus

I dream of it; am I a psycho? Watching you burn nothing else feels this perfect to me “Hands in the air”; salute or surrender? We adapt, mutilate, replicate and survive But choose a side The truth, the war; the rise, the fall The virus in our heads that infects us all Do you need it once more? Can you remember what it is we’re dying for? (Fighting for?) Little soldier, little girl/boy who used to love this fucking world To love, to despise: such a fine line The hardest strikes always land when hands are tied The virus in our heads infects, manipulates our thoughts

v. processor

I took a chance to fly I want no role in your altercation I feel panic arise as rhetoric voices are feeding back again Blocking out vitriolic accusations: Was I listening? Because I want to be better on the inside I want to be better on the outside I fall asleep in the vestige I once called my home I pray for you, abide with the hopeless Regretting the choice but I can't turn away The modern synthesis compels me to start again I will have my way, I told you, I told you, I told you As I dispersonalise I taste a real life far from the pacifist you believe I exemplify I am the fury, I am hypocrisy The day I take control. The day you'll believe in me The path back home, the path I'll show you The path back home, where you'll wait for me, wait for me

vi. red queen

I said I don't mind, but you've touched a nerve The way you frame it, well, I got all I deserved Breathe deep and comfort the disturbed In the cave you fear what would you find? We played our hands together You lose me in your blood chemistry So we'd better try to match her/his speed Toast to the red queen/king and all she has seen Is it time to drink at your table? We can only wait and watch for so long Where you fall is not where you belong Unify behind false enemies Down other lines we would have been the same Beauty fades but still my charm deceives This night is shared and so we use each other ‘cause misery loves company And so it goes again A wasted day to vie for my affection Soon you'll come undone Can't fake a smile so they draw it on

vii. angel lust

how far did you deviate? The bridge collapsed but you took the stone From the ash an altar raised, you rebuilt your home And cynics they will try to tempt and change our minds We'll keep our faith alive, we'll raise our voices And scream it from our hearts: God loves her/his children we wait to receive a sign and the scraps of truth of what we believe The passion, the pain, our bodies ache, we cry your name

viii. the life of a ghost

Living the life of a ghost, there is no comfort for the mind Some sights we've tried to leave behind Always looking backwards down the road I will retain composure Lost in thoughts of where I am Stay 'til dawn, begin anew? With all honesty I want to be selfless To be human, but I'm beat and I'm worn-though I'm lost tonight I'm an ember, will you take my story? Pull back the curtain and walk towards the truth There is no comfort for the mind

ix. after the flags

Come on son do your country proud! Lead us down to the ocean and wash our hands of campaigns for the self-assured now Fading white in surrender and weary from the beating sun that blinds you Take a hit for catharsis Take a hit for them all After the flags they're selling off the wall I wanna die for a reason I wanna kill for a cause The fall won't kill but it's gonna hurt do you watch just to wince at this? we have been misled Straighten out your fiction As means to ends and ends to meaning guide you After the flags I'm nobody at all If I could reach you with reason You set us up for a fall After the flags you're nobody at all

x. nebula

This is my suffering, stuttering the words As all I can see is you Hey there you lost boy/girl, just look at what they've done to you They've poisoned the well of your mind but you'll make it through I'm falling to the call of you To love just an action, we overplay and overdo But now, there's no one beside me They've fallen behind

xi. panacea and the prelogue

Wait inside we'll talk a while I didn't mean to let the years go by Have we come to terms with the lesson that our fathers learned? Everything goes away I'd follow you, but not this time I'm sorry that I let you down, let you down, a lifetime ago I wanna say to all I leave behind, and to those I'll never find. That I need you to understand, understand, you're not on your own. What you value, is it worth the time? The only melodies that I could ever call mine were friendship and lust Will I feel absolved at the moment when we have it solved? Still it's never enough Lines fade out, but you illuminate the path back home, the path you've shown me

all your friends / new magiks / everybody gets a piece (2018)

i. all your friends

Habits tend to crystallize Did you waste it in the dark? Why were you sure it was real? you let all your friends tell you how to feel The archetypes; the ideal will soon embrace you when you let yourself heal Who are we to cauterise bleeding hearts that synchronise? Did he/she waste you in the dark? Choose your friends just to canonize you, as you let them fantasize

ii. new magiks

I'm watching the mirror crack to face my addiction This all feels a little strange, (A life fearing fiction) I better step outside It's all fine, from the shoreline The weight crushing down my heart, you don't want it, you don't wanna know A head full of dying stars, the shoulders that bear the load The wave crashes down on my heart You don't wanna know My mind's a rogue nation Just look how we weaponise carnal accusation It's all fine, a drop in the skyline Make it hurt Percolate emotion Boys/Girls lost to the ocean drown You were the bright newcomer I fucked you up that summer I didn't know, you let me know my mind is loaded

iii. everybody gets a piece

In time you'll grow, I fucking hope I'm outside looking in at all the time we're putting in Think I know what it means I won't say the right things just to open doors Don't waste your time in the studio I've been told to beg, steal and borrow I'm told it's not the way to go Nobody listens to the radio Everybody gets a piece Did you honestly say it might have been me? But all this while did you think of me, you know All this while, we were pure potential energy, dreaming Don't ask, you'll never get You never asked so you never got nothing Did you get all you wanted from me? You don't ask so you'll never receive Can't lose when you're playing for free

#sentence meme #long post #area 11 #inbox meme #roleplay meme #ask meme #askbox meme

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gooseghoul · 7 years ago

Note

make me dream bud, for the ask meme: Snape, Lupin and Lucius ! <3

put 3 characters in my inbox and I’ll tell you who I’d slow burn/fake date/enemies to lovers with

thank you bud <3 <3 this was the most fun to decide.

Snape, Lupin and Lucius

putting this under a cut bc i accidentally wrote 3 feature length films of self insert fanfic.

honestly, lads, skip to the end for lucius. it’s the highlight of this post.

slow burn: snape.

so, it’s not that we’re not friends at school. bc we’d talk in potions (or, I’d talk and he’d glare), we’d trade transfiguration notes (he hated that I wrote everything mcgonagall said down), and he’d best me in defence (the only time I’d ever seen him smile). we weren’t friends, but we weren’t not not friends.

he went off the deep end his last two years in school. i’d still speak to him but didn’t seek him out. slytherin pride and all that. gotta stick together. gotta not get murdered by the dark lord.

he wasn’t the type to keep in touch post hogwarts. but with where he was headed in life, the most i was hoping for was that he’d have a “meh” opinion of me. so, if he was ever tasked with murdering me, he’d at least be somewhat quick about it.

the war ends and I run into him. he’s a mess. full mourning dress, looking a little bit queen victoria, absolutely brooding. don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate brooding. but man, sometimes you just need to pull yourself together. we’re not friends exactly. but he sees that i still see him as the angsty kid i went to school with and not the death eater he became. most other people have tainted views of him. i knew too much of his anger, too much of his teenage fear and hate to despise him. i’d seen him laugh in the common room with mulciber, in the courtyard with the girl whose death ended the war. i’d seen him that one christmas i’d stayed at hogwarts. seen him with no presents under the tree. a stocking empty.

how could i hate a kid i’d seen come to school with at the start of term bruises on his arms? i hated what he’d become, the direction he turned to, but as a slytherin i knew he had little choice. he didn’t have the means to say no. not that i’m sure he’d have wanted to. the boy was a bastard at times, cold and malicious, but he wasn’t evil. he didn’t have the heart to be evil.

he owled me every month from hogwarts. then, after a year, every fortnight. then every week. then every other day.

the month harry potter came to hogwarts i received no owls. no frantic floo calls. nothing but radio silence.

then he showed up at my doorstep unannounced, fire whiskey in hand, ranting about how the boy was just like his father. it was awful to listen to, but listen i did. because snape had been through this before: the torment at potter’s hands (although this time unintentional, possibly imagined), the need to fight back, to be drawn into something bigger. the cycle has begun again.

snape was cruel. ugly. an awful, vindictive man.

but i couldn’t shake that christmas morning from my mind. i couldn’t shake the sound of his laugh.

i’d see him in person more often. whenever he had a free weekend he’d floo in. mostly he complained about potter, but i tried to drag him away from that topic after a few weeks of nothing but anger. potions was a good bet, but even that devolved into how incompetent potter war.

so i put a “potter” jar on my mantelpiece and made snape pay a knut every time he even thought about the kid. after two weeks, the jar was half full and snape started insisting we meet in hogsmeade instead. neutral territory. easier for him. as far away from that damn jar as possible. but the point had been made. potter was mentioned no more.

i didn’t see him when the mark burnt black on his skin. not for a good week. then snape was tumbling into my hallway numb from the torment. in all the time i’d known him, he’d never been so quiet.

i lead him to my bed and he fell asleep there. i took the sofa. it was the first time he’d stayed the night. it wasn’t the last.

it was weird how it progressed. how it went from cups of tea wordlessly granted, to stolen looks, fingers lingering too long, touches that weren’t there before. he didn’t like me like that. didn’t love me like how he’d loved that girl from before. i knew that in my heart. knew i’d always be second best. knew he didn’t truly have it in him.

but i was there and one touch led to another. one barking laugh at something i’d read in the paper. one christmas morning spent away from the castle. one fire whiskey too many.

a year and a half of normal. of the something between us being more than friendship and slightly less than love.

then the end of harry potter’s sixth year. the end of dumbledore’s tenure. i couldn’t look at him. couldn’t speak to him. couldn’t touch him.

that last year I wish I could live again. my family and I were safe. though we weren’t death eaters we were purebloods, slytherins, good people who’d never gone out of our way to say anything about muggles. snape wasn’t part of that year. was part of that awful regime.

I regret it. now that Potter’s story came out. now that the truth of Severus Snape had reverberated throughout the wizarding world. even i, one of the people closest to him, who had known and loved him the longest out of all, had believed him a monster. but snape was dead. gone. and he had died for love. so confusing a concept that at times i didn’t think him capable of it.

(but the way he’d talked of potter. how he ranted and raved – that was love, wasn’t it? love of the mother, hatred of the son.)

he was dead but not completely. i see him there, in the flash of a student’s cloak; black like the mourning robes he never shed. there, in the biting remark spun in the air over a pint at the bar. and there, in the ugly sun which rises now over the wizarding world. it is a world not free from hate nor vitriol, but one recovering from a war which would have been fateless without him.

fake date: lupin. sirius black cannot stand anything slytherin. to him, understandably, slytherin is the epitome of all that is wrong with the world. certainly all that is wrong with hogwarts. sirius black hates the fact that lupin is on civil terms with me and actually kind of friends. we sit together in potions. while we’re not the best students, slughorn thinks we work well together and refuses to separate us.

so, The Prank has just happened. I’ve no idea what went on, but that weird Snape kid in my year looks shaken up. Sirius Black looks actively guilty. And Remus Lupin is angry. I don’t think I’ve seen Lupin angry in my life. Lupin is so angry he misses our study group, and almost puts the flobberworm mucus in the potion too early. but he doesn’t care that the potions could have gone horrifically wrong.

a week later he finally comes to the library. i ask him what’s wrong but he doesn’t say anything. eventually he hisses, “Black did something stupid. so fucking stupid. he doesn’t even see what he did wrong.”

he’s calling Sirius ‘Black’. Sirius Black is never anything but Sirius.

“I hate him. I’m never speaking to him again. I wish I could just— I wish I could show him how awful— do something that would make him see—”

he looks at me, a gleam in his eyes. “M. you’re a slytherin.”“er”“You’re a pureblood.”“eeeerrr”his eyes are beginning to look a bit manic. “you’re friends with snape”“friends is a strong word for knowing the kid’s name.”

“M. I need you to know that I mean this completely platonically. But I trust you and I think this could work. Will you be my girlfriend?”

platonic? girlfriend? “remus, you know—“

“sirius hates everything about you.” (thanks bud). “not you specifically. but everything you embody. pureblood. blood supremacy. voldemort”

“okay, listen, mate. just because I’m slytherin doesn’t mean I’m up for maiming some muggles.”

“no. but sirius thinks you are. he thinks you’re all the same.”

I think of regulus in the years below, and how, yeah regulus is a blood supremacist like most of us. but he’s not that.

“right. i don’t see what this has to do with platonic dating.”

“It’ll show Sirius how much he’s hurt me. that I’ve turned to you out of all my friends. that he didn’t even know I’d been thinking of you.”

so, Lupin is great. but also sometimes, just sometimes, he’s a bit of a dick. but you know what, if remus lupin wants to date you you do not say no. even if it’s platonic, strictly revenge dating. even if you think that maybe lupin should just talk through his feelings (his weirdly passionate feelings) with Sirius.

“fine. let’s do it.”

Sirius Black is pissed off. we start off small. walking to classes together. stopping by the gryffindor table to say hi to Lupin. we even let ourselves be caught holding hands in the corridor. how scandalous.

the slytherins corner me and ask what the fuck i’m doing with a gryffindor. so i tell them: I’m doing this to bring the blood traitor Sirius Black down a peg. I want to destroy him. Snape doesn’t look at me anymore. but honestly, his impact on my life was so little that I’d barely notice had one of the Black girls not pointed it out.

we’re in the corridor one day before lupin’s prefect patrol. stood by the gryffindor common room just talking while lupin waits for his partner (lily?) to arrive. lupin’s holding my hand, thumb running over my knuckles absent mindedly. no-one’s around, but you have to put the effort in, right? you have to believe what you’re doing to act it well, right?

“bear with me” lupin says looking behind me. and kisses me.

it’s weird. but maybe…. M, maybe you’re not as gay as you thought you were.

there’s a horrified sound behind you. a hissed word and a door (portrait?) slamming shut. but all that exists in the world is remus lupin.

he pulls away after a moment. utters a single word fuck before kissing me again.

after hogwarts we marry and have 15000000000 cats and my family is super rich so that skinny boy never has to starve again and we build a werewolf bunker under our country estate and all is well. (until his two best friends are murdered and their child survives them but grows up abused and not know who he is but y’know we can gloss over that part.)

enemies to lovers: lucius.

i was a couple years above draco at school. the malfoys hated my family as we were both slytherins and blood traitors (lmao at me pretending i am in anyway a pureblood). post war the malfoys are trying to redeem themselves. draco and i go to the same university (st andrews school of magic), we run into each other in the classics dep and start talking. we become slow friends and i stay at his house over summer. his mum’s house, bc lucius and narcissa divorced post-war.

lucius is there one day, sees me, spits some vitriol and storms out. there’s a number of awful meetings with lucius, but draco isn’t willing to put his parent’s desires above his own anymore. bc he is not his parents. turns out, lucius resents me bc my family and i were good slytherins, so we didn’t get fucked over post-war. lucius and i have a number of mr darcy / elizabeth bennett style arguments with draco bashing his head against the table.

the next summer, i spend a couple weeks with draco at his dad’s place. there, lucius reveals he’s not a complete cock and is actually trying to repent but doesn’t know how. i’m kind of like, hey, so maybe this guy isn’t as bad as he seems. hey, draco, your dad’s kind of cool once you get past the whole being a death eater thing. slowly lucius starts spending more time around the house when draco, me and our friends are there. lucius starts talking to me like i’m a human being and not a rat.

hey, draco, you know your dad has great hair right? you know he’s actually kind of handsome if we ignore how stress has aged him. hey, draco —

cue a scene straight from clueless. one of lucius malfoy’s albino peacocks (because he smuggled some out from the manor during the divorce) walks behind me, a fountain suddenly starts spouting water.

“oh my god, draco. i’m in love with your dad.”

…

draco says, “no fucking shit you doorknob”

i don’t do anything bc lucius is a dick. he’s always been a dick. i’ve hated his family since before i could talk. he’s hated mine since before i was born. but he’s also….. kind of a dilf? draco thinks the whole thing is really weird, but also he’d rather me than some of the people who’ve been trying to court lucius. so like, he starts trying to hint at a possible relationship.

hint is a strong word.

“hey, dad, M would be a great step mum right?” “hey, dad, doesn’t M look like she could do with a sugar daddy to help her off her feet. if only we knew someone who had a lot of money.” “oh, hey, dad. don’t we have lots of money?” “hey, dad, i can’t be her sugar daddy bc I’m too young. the laws of sugar daddies disallow any relationship between us. if only there were another single man in this family with access to our fortune.”

meanwhile, the malfoy’s most recent house elf is trying to bash draco’s head against the table.

i get invited to the malfoy’s christmas party. i’m working on my postgrad and draco has just finished his first semester of honours.

there’s mistletoe. lucius is standing next to me. but there’s mistletoe. at the christmas party. at the christmas party where lucius is standing next to me. under the mistletoe.

we kiss. really awkwardly bc i’m about 5 gin and tonics into the night but also really eager. bc shit son. shit son. this universe’s M is str8 as heck for the absolute daddy that is Lucius Malfoy.(draco is head bridesmaid at our wedding. a single albino peacock is best man. it is a beautiful, if not visually confusing, affair.)

#i told myself i'd never write self insert fanfic again but here i am #and you know what? i liked writing self insert fanfic #i wrote the lupin and snape ones through an abdominal and head migraine #honestly skip ahead to the absolute blast that is lucius malfoy #thank you so much for this this made my evening so much more fun #the lupin one is meh but tbh we're all living for luscious lucius #hc #lupin #snape #lucius #fic #shitpost #relative shitpost #i can write better than this i swear #ask #thepotionsapprentice #ask meme

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thejunkelemental · 5 years ago

Text

Connecting to Fears

I know you no longer wear the ring. Do you still wear the bracelet? Over ten years ago it was tied around my wrist at a camp I looked forward to every year. I gave it once to Liz and then to you. Before the ring it was my heart, a totem I had worn for as long as I had worn any totem and gifted to the person who held my heart so close. Did you remove it? The necklace with your opal? Its curious, we sometimes tie up such emotions in items. They hold memories like tiny capsules and to hold them summons the mists of reverie back. For me, this cottage is an item. It contains all the memories of our first year of marriage. The passenger seat in my car soaked you in. When I drive I remember singing with you, driving to look at houses in Broadripple, heading to Flix Brewhouse. The blankets we wrapped around each other, made into a fort...the bed I cannot return to. I try to connect the fear that sparks in me to memories...where the anxiety comes from. Why it is that my brain manufactures images of you laying beneath the covers with someone else, drifting off peacefully with other arms around you...imagining the things others might say to drive you farther away from me. I think. These thoughts come from a place of morose catastrophe, made worse by the shattered relationships that collapsed all together in the last week or so. I know they’re phantoms, conjured mind junk that combine hyper vigilance with escalating magnitude to create scenarios I can’t exactly disprove but hurt me to think about. It’s nothing you’ve done and just mind poison from me. Because I am always the one to reach out, to talk, to write, to call, to ask to see you...sometimes the words you say are too easy to feel like placation...being kind to me because you feel sorry for me. Not that I think they are, but they feel like that. They twist in my brain like that. Not through any fault of your own or anything you’ve done...and I want to make it clear that I am not accusing you of anything or upset at you for my own brain distortions. Words of affirmation were never the strongest love language for me. People say things all the time that they don’t mean. They make promises they never keep. I’ve had so many people I have trusted break that trust that the words just don’t feel the same anymore... Actions mean the most to me. Kept promises. Followed through actions. When the words are written on the acts performed after. I know I am not the person you feel most comfortable talking about your problems or maybe even chatting with. I know you likely send a lot of people memes and such which may account for a lot of your messaging, when I was never much a memester. I’ve been so wrapped up in loss and pain that we haven’t had much of a normal conversation without touching on the pain I’m creeping through and the assurances you make me that my fears are not always truths. I got back and re-read these messages and try to imagine them in your voice. Try not to read into them...but there is a lot of fear. Perhaps the greatest pain of our separation was the broken promise. That it took a single week to break a pinky swear promise. I know that we could not have known what that week would bring, but when we sat down beside your parents’ fire to talk about the Imago...I told you how important it was that we close our exits to really try and make it work. That I had put myself into personal therapy as well to show you I was committed to learning how to better see you, hear you, and resolve our incompatibilities into a healthier and happier relationship. That this was the most important relationship in my life and I was dedicated to being part of your peace, rather than its undoing. And on Sunday I destroyed it. It felt so fragile then. I was so afraid to honestly express my feelings because I thought I would get punished for them. That by voicing my fears and pains that you would decide I wasn’t worth it and abandon me. I want you to imagine how that felt, then. To sit with you on Sunday and voice those fears and to be abandoned the very next day. I know, for you, it was a moment of revelation that nothing could work again. But for me it was a moment of vulnerability I wanted to trust you with. The Monday before we sat in therapy and you told me that if I communicated with you honestly about my fears that you would not abandon me. That you would not turn around and leave me. And then you did. I did what I was most afraid of because you asked me to trust you in that room. You held me and asked me to trust you. And then I finally revealed the pain in my heart and my confusion and fear...and you took it for me trying to push your decision too early and decided therapy was no longer worth the work. The work was no longer worth it. I think, in a number of ways, that terror is still inside me. That’s why I freak out every time I tell you something I am afraid you might dislike. Why I think your silences are yawning mouths taking in a breath before telling me you’re done with me. I want so much to trust you with my honesty and hope you will want to trust me with yours as well...but I am always so afraid that I will court your disdain and be let go again. I keep waiting and hoping I see any sign from you that you miss me outside your words. That you will come to see me, that you will call. I saw it once...when you texted me four times after I was quiet for a time. But even my very dark post that scared you...you didn’t call me to check if I was ok. You texted. You didn’t come to see if I was ok. Not that I was baiting that or looking for it (because I didn’t think you read this), but afterward it reminded me that I’m the one who lays awake at night trying to sleep without you. That I’m the one who checks my phone to see if you’ve texted or tried to call...who feels small bits of joy when I see your facebook posts on your wall. That I don’t know where you live...you haven’t trusted me with that. In my mind it equates to me missing you more than you miss me which makes me feel like a barnacle. A creature that digs into your hull and cracks the surface of your skin, seeking safety and sustenance as you try to move on through the heavy and dark sea. I feel like a parasite because of the two of us, I feel I miss your presence in my life the most. I would give anything to hold you again, hug you again, laugh with you. I dissect my past conversations and try to apply what you ask me to. I try to trust your words over the deafening screaming of my insecurities. I try to write the thoughts that unwind my peace so I can control them. And still I end up reading into nonsense. You wrote to your friend that your heart breaks for my pain. I feel like a wound in the fabric of your life...that my suffering is all that keeps you pitying me and interested. I cannot sense your love, your care, your desire to be around me beneath the concern you have about my mental state. It feels like the only reason you speak to me is because you worry for me. After all, we never really talk about whats on your mind all that much...what you struggle with, what you worry about...the places you’ve been weak. We’ve never talked about what you felt you did wrong in the relationship, but there is almost a novella on what I know I’ve done wrong. I feel so much like the skin a lizard shed, interesting to look at but ultimately a vestige of a past you’ve grown beyond. I wrestle with these thoughts of inadequacy because of all the progress we’ve made talking to each other...it is me who asks for more. Talking on the phone. Maybe a hug sometime. Writing letters. I ask and ask and ask. And most of the time I am not answered...and who could blame you? The diatribes and paragraphs are endless, long and droning. I wrap my requests and fears with so much other language because I am so afraid of it being rejected out of hand or driving you away. I do not want to be afraid. The fear is from events we experienced together and mostly from the baggage I carried. I don’t want to be afraid of being rejected by speaking honesty and truth but I fear that from almost everyone in my life. You especially. All your time and kindness have meant so very much to me. The times you seem interested in connecting with me, letting me in on your life, trusting me...they mean so much to my tired, sad little heart. Can you feel my heart in the bracelet? Do you wear it still? Or in biscuit bear or window shark? I am so weary of being afraid and so unable to break the cycle of fear. I want you to show me that you miss me too...that you want to connect. I want them to not be words but actions. I want to ask that...but I am terrified of rejection. And last night? Last night I remembered all the times I took care of you when you were sick. How happy I was to care for you and make you happy when you were ill and how much it ached that I could not be there for you now. My brave love, dealing with sickness all on her own. A strange new place. I wish I could be there. I wish we could be there. I so desperately want to understand and see you better...hear you better. Fool as I am. I still wear the ring. I still twist it at night when I am scared or anxious. It helps me think of you and sometimes it almost feels like you’re nearby. Some night, when you lay in bed about to sleep. Would you call me to say goodnight like you used to? If it occurs to you. It always made me so happy. And as usual, if you do read this, I am sorry if you take offense to anything I’ve said. I want to be honest with you and myself as I wrestle with my darkness and try to learn from it. Thank you so much for your understanding and engagement with me. I want to feel your love...whatever capacity it still exists in. Thank you. For everything.

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kierarutherford · 8 years ago

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10 Questions Ask Meme

Rules:Answer 10 questions and then come up with another 10 questions for the people you tag!

Was tagged by @princessvicky01 so let’s keep this rolling

Favorite small town? Real or fictional. - I live in a small town, and have lived in many but none have ever been a favorite. SO I suppose I would love to check out the small town of Honnleath (pre-darkaspawn)

Video game or DLC you’re most looking forward to right now? (sans DA4) - I have yet to purchase it and it haunts my dreams. I am aiming to get my hands on the Witcher DLCs.

Favorite fictional world? (i.e.: Middle Earth, Thedas, etc.) Why? - to be fair I have two. One would have to be Thedas as I it holds my OCs and a special Commander. The second would have to be Witcher’s world (don’t remember what the whole place is called. TOO many city/towns to name.) Great, indepth lore and creatures.

Where/what was the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had? If you don’t drink coffee, what’s the best meal you’ve ever head? - Best cup, uh... I have never had a “best” cup of coffee anywhere out but the morning back home after my daughter was born. The first sip of freshly brewed coffee brought to me, while holding my little girl. That may be the best sip ever.

Where/when do you do your best daydreaming? When I lay in bed. I daydream myself to sleep. Putting myself in the shoes of my OCs and trying to figure out how they would react. There is a tiny piece of me in each of them.

Favorite TV show right now? I don’t really watch a lot of tv. Right now I’m addicted to Live PD (probably only in countries with A&E)

Is your canon Inquisitor reluctant about their power, or do they embrace it full-force, or something in-between? Kiera takes the reigns as she was a First to her clan and much was always expected of her. It is simply a tool to aid those in need. Diana- she hated it. Her personal “night light” she called it many times. Trying to deflect the horror and personal irritation. Hyacinth - she was unsure of it but as long as she can heal and help, she makes due.

What’s the best purchase you’ve ever made? I shop on bargains all the time. So I really can’t pin point that one awesome score. I would say my proudest was netting a $45 sweater for my daughter (in-store) for $4.99. I do love hunting through clearance racks.

Favorite or go-to clothing brand/designer/store? I am not loyal to any brand per say. I sale hunt. I prefer to hunt at Old Navy currently but the winds may change.

Are there any popular TV or video game character arcs that really bother you? How would you change them, if you could? - The one that stuck with me over the years was the ending arc of Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time. There was SOO much room to do something there and they did a hack ending (in my opinion.) Played it multiple times and it always stuck with me. (Also my first -he should have totally gotten the girl- grumble fest)

@fereldenpeach questions

If you could trade places with a fictional character for a day, who would you pick and why? - Diana Trevelyan. She’s tough, quick witted and scandalous. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to do whatever she has to to get it. Her relationship with Cullen is deep and runs on lewd at times. I envy her free spirit and openness.

What’s your favorite vacation memory? - Too many. We always made a trek to visit my grandparents as a child and those moments (while colourful) always stuck with me.

What’s your go-to alcoholic beverage? Don’t drink? What’s your favorite smoothie or milkshake? If I drink (I do enjoy a good drink- perhaps too often) I like coolers or my mix. Ginger ale, grapefruit juice and Canada Club whiskey. Extra ice. I’m an ice chewer

When did you have your first kiss? I was fourteen, he was my first boyfriend and it just happened. I do remember it being a wondrous moment. All teeth, tongues and lips. He was more experienced than I, and it was grand.

Who was your first fictional crush and why? lol so totally nerdy! I was in love with Link from Legend of Zelda and Carth Onasi from Knights of the Old Republic. I wrote a HUGE fanfic (printed in a book in my closet today). It has never seen the light of day lol

What’s your favorite Dragon Age mod that you use? Don’t use mods? What’s your favorite outfit from the game’s options? - I have to admit I love the Spoils of the Qunari, wrap thing. lol I made my own in several colours down in the Undercroft.

What (or who) was the gateway to joining the DA fandom on Tumblr? I don’t really know? I was creeping around the internet, dying for more Cullen things when I stumbled upon @khirsahle amazing fic and I believe there was a mention somewhere of a tumblr. So I boldly decided I wanted to write, and get on this tumblr and find my like minded Cullenites and bask in the delicious man.

Name three things you absolutely can’t live without and tell us why. ah hard one. I am a travel light person. 1 - my phone, it is my day planner, alarm, watch, contacts to my parents, camera, etc. 2- Comfy runners. I have terribly sensitive feet and wear shoes all the time. Without them I’d have horridly sore feet. 3 -caffeine. I drink anywhere from half a pot of coffee to a full pot of tea a day. My tea pot is a 12 cup size lol. I’m a mom of 3. I NEED caffeine.

When did you first start playing Dragon Age? Which game did you start with and have you played all of them? I have been here since the beginning in Dragon Age addictive hell. I played the first, it’s dlc, then Awakening, then 2, it’s DLC and now Inquisition and it’s DLC. I actually had to create room on my xbox to play Origins because I had over 38 saved characters. Wiped them all out and repeated that 3 more times. lol Of those play throughs I only romanced Zevran once. All others were Alistair.

What’s a project you’re really proud of? Where Flowers Dare to Bloom. It has hurt me and healed me in so many places. It has been a personal healing tool and the next couple chapters are currently cleansing my soul.

Here are @princessvicky01 10 :

1) What was your first pet? If you’ve never had one is their one you would like? My first pet. He was a terrier/poodle/rescue thing. Benji. Loved him till he passed of old age when I was 9. Amazingly well tempered and awesome dog.

2) If you could only replay one game forever, what game would it be? lol that is my life. I literally play games to their disk death. If I was cursed to a single game. I’m picking Dragon Age Inquisition. To forever romance and marry Cullen, please.

3) What was/is your favourite subject at school?Why? History. I loved it. Especially ancient history. Eqyptian history, medieval history. All of it. Myths and legends. I adored it all.

4) Do you prefer to be too hot or too cold? I can’t handle heat, so I’d have to say I’d rather be too cold.

5) Do you have any hobbies? If not is there any you want to try? This is kinda a hobby I suppose. I am a terrible starter to things that I never finish. It is a horrid habit that I do way too often. I crotchet, I knit, I sing (lol fairly well too), I used to play in photoshop, games, play baseball.. I’m everywhere and no where.

6) Whats your favourite restaurant/eat out food - Italian, Chinese, Mexican ect I love Italian. Pasta. I am addicted to pasta. Fetticine Alfredo, spaghetti and marinara sauce. Yes please.

7) Mages or Templars? Why? Mages. To be sent away from family at such young ages, forced into a stone prison. It’s heart breaking. All because they are different. Never nullified the Circle in any play throughs. I can’t kill children just because they can hold fire in their palms. Teach them, let them live and let them help!

8) Favourite film/movie genre? I’m not a film person really. I do watch the occasional movie but again I’m all over the place. Favourite of all time; Robin Hood- Men in Tights. A Mel Brooke’s picture.

9) Whats your spirit animal/daemon aka the one that represents your personality? A bear. Quite literally lol. Loyal to family, extremely protective and I’ll rip your arms off and feed you to my kids if you mess with them.

10) Cullen Rutherford shows up at your house. What do you say/do? Seriously... depending on the situation, I have no idea. I mean, I think we all know what we dream about but reality wise... I honestly don’t know.

After a mile of questions. Here are mine now lol:

1- Drink lyrium become a Templar or grip a staff and become a Mage. Once you pick you cannot go back. Choice and why?

2- If you could meet anyone of your followers/readers/people you follow, who and why?

3- Dream Cullen date, go!

4- Do you believe readers should comment on your writings? Or are likes/kudos enough?

5- If you had an hour to sit with your favourite character creator from any game, how would you use that time?

6- If you could cosplay one character, who and why?

7- When you sit to write, what is your must haves to work? Coffee/tea, a song, tv in background, what’s your must have thing?

8-Do you follow any of the prominent writters out there? Steven King? R.R Martin? J.K. Rowling? If so, who and why? If not, who would you love to sit and chat with?

9- What time do you feel is the best for your writing? How long do you write for?

10- If you could make one wish come true, but for only one full day, what would you wish for?

Tagging @daisytje @angyvalentine @dorianofminrathous @omnipotentoverlord @queenmelisende @ma-sulevin

#ask me meme #meme thing #some da some not #about Kiera #Kiera replies

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russellthornton · 6 years ago

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How to Help Your Ex Move On, Get Over You for Good and Find Peace

Are you wondering how to help your ex move on for good? Well, I’ve got you covered from every angle because breakin’ up is hard to do.

Personally, I have dealt with this from both sides. I have helped an ex move on and I have been the ex that needed help moving on. And from those experiences, I have learned both how to help your ex move on and what not to do if you want your ex to move on.

Breakups are grueling. From dealing with your own pain to struggling with how your ex is feeling and moving on with your own life, there is a lot to consider.

Whether you did the breaking up or took it, helping your ex move on is a responsibility that many people take on when a relationship ends. And although it is a burden you should not have to bear, there are a number of ways to help your ex move on. [Read: The steps to take to find closure after a breakup]

How NOT to help your ex move on

You may think you are helping your ex move on, but what you are doing could actually be holding them back. Coddling your ex through their emotions only makes them depend on you even more. So find out what you might be doing wrong.

#1 Do NOT comfort them. It may seem heartless to not comfort your ex, especially if you are the one that broke their heart. Comforting them only keeps them leaning on you for support. Yes, at the moment of the break up you can hug and cry together. Afterward, give them space to move on without you, otherwise they won’t.

When you are the one doing the heartbreaking, it can make you feel guilty. And that guilt only grows stronger knowing that you caused your ex pain. Caring doesn’t just go away overnight. But sticking around to comfort them in this time only strengthens your bond rather than weakening it. [Read: How to stop feeling guilty and start living your life]

#2 Do NOT give them hope. Now you can tell them they will find someone and move on and be happy, but if you’re wondering how to help your ex move on, do not give them hope that you have a future together. I have had exes tell me that maybe down the line we will work things out or that we can be each other’s back-ups. But all that does is prevent you from moving on.

So if you want to help your ex move on, tell them the truth, even if it is harsh. Do not give them even a bit of hope for a future between you. They will grab onto that for dear life. [Read: How to breakup with someone who loves you]

#3 Do NOT be there for them. You may feel it is your responsibility to be there for them. After all, you did do the dumping. But being there for them once again maintains your bond. I made this mistake with my last boyfriend.

After breaking up with him, I comforted him. I wanted him to be okay, but all that did was carry out our relationship. Maybe it was technically over, but I still heard him out, supported him, and reassured him. It took longer for our relationship to truly be over and for both of us to fully move on because of this.

#4 Do NOT reach out. If you want to be friends with your ex that is fine but do it in due time. You cannot go straight from being in a relationship to being friends. There has to be a mourning and moving on period before you step back into each other’s lives platonically.

So no matter how much you may miss them or want to send them a funny meme, hold back. Even delete their number from your phone if you have to. Don’t ask them how they are doing or if they want to get coffee and catch up while the break up is still fresh. This slows down and can even halt the moving on process altogether, for both you and your ex. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

#5 Do NOT answer. Again, this can seem cruel but necessary. When I was broken up with once I would reach out to my ex for reasons, to talk, to try to be friends, and he would always answer. It gave me hope, it kept me from moving on, and made it hurt even more so later.

I wish that he hadn’t answered. Although it would have hurt at the moment I would have moved on quicker. So when I was on the other end of this and had an ex I broke up with reach out to me, I ignored it. It felt rude and heartless. Then, after only a couple days he stopped reaching out. We both were able to move on a lot more smoothly. [Read: Breakup talk – 25 tips to end a relationship without making it messy]

How to help your ex move on

Now that you know what you shouldn’t be doing to help your ex move on, here is what you should be doing.

#1 Give them closure. A sure-fire way when it comes to knowing how to help your ex move on is to give them closure during the breakup. When you can give them answers and reasons as to why you want to go your separate ways, they will have the foundation they need to start moving on.

If you leave things open-ended or can’t give them a firm reason for breaking up, they will continue to wonder and stew over it. This will prevent them from moving on. So, if you want to help your ex move on, start at the beginning and ensure the breakup has a smooth cut.

#2 Be firm. This is something that can be hard for many people, especially if you are empathetic, but it is necessary. You have to be firm with your break up. You can’t let them manipulate you to feel guilty or take it back.

People in pain have a way of pulling you back in. Just remind yourself why you wanted this relationship to end. Be firm with it. Some people won’t get it and don’t accept breakups so stand firm in your ground. [Read: The breakup conversation template you can use for any breakup]

#3 Give them space. I know I already put this in the don’ts section, but it is a majorly important step in helping your ex move on. Sometimes you need complete separation from someone to begin moving on. Give them all the space they need, even if they don’t want it.

Your ex is upset and may want you to comfort them. Instead give them space, it is what is best for them in the long run, even if they can’t see it right now. [Read: How to break up with someone who doesn’t want to]

#4 Be mature. Helping an ex move on is all about maturity. You may think showing off your new partner or how much fun you’re having is a good way to help them move on. It will upset them and give them anger and jealousy to cling on to.

Making them hate you will not help them move on. It will give them a reason to keep thinking about you which prevents them from moving on. So be mature.

#5 Move on yourself. Worrying about your ex moving on is keeping you from moving on. So, try to forget about helping them and help yourself. If you stay concerned with their wellbeing, you are slowing the entire process down. So move on yourself.

Being the one who did the breaking up doesn’t mean you are over it. You also have a relationship to mourn and a life to get on with. So focus on you. You may think it is selfish, but it is helping your ex move on too.

#6 Avoid rubbing it in. This does fall into the being mature category, but you may be rubbing your happiness in without even realizing it. You don’t want to be obsessed with how they will read into everything. Do be aware that riling them up with pictures and stories of your happiness will not help them move on any quicker.

If you’re wondering how to help your ex move on, even if you have a new boo, avoid posting them all over social media if your ex still follows you, at least for a few weeks. And try not to post statuses or share with your mutual friends just how over the relationship you are.

It may feel good and you may think it will show them what they should be doing, but really if they are struggling to move on, it will set them back. [Read: 30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]

#7 Avoid social media. Avoid social media altogether after a breakup. Feelings are fresh on both ends which can lead to some regrettable and passive aggressive posts. It can also lead you to check up on your ex.

If you are worried they aren’t moving on, you may check out their Instagram or Snapchat stories to see what they are up to. But their status is not your concern anymore. Remember you broke up. And them seeing you pop up as someone who watched their story makes them think you are still involved.

#8 Ask your friends for help. Sometimes helping your ex move on is more than a one person job. If you have mutual friends, ask them to not bring up the breakup with your ex. The more they ask about it, the more your ex will be thinking about it. You can even ask them to make sure they stay busy to avoid dwelling.

If you are struggling to stop texting your ex even though you want them to move on, delete their number. That can seem extreme, but if it is what you need to prevent yourself from reaching out, do it. Just make sure a friend has their number for later on if you want to be friends once you have both moved on.

#9 Stop feeling guilty. Shut it down right now. Yes, if you cheated maybe some guilt is healthy. However, if you broke up with someone and they keep telling you how upset they are and how they will never get over you, that is not your problem. And making it your problem keeps your ex from moving on.

Shut down feeling bad for them. Yes, maybe you hurt them, but they need to learn how to move on and become stronger for it. Don’t think of it as you doing them a favor for dumping them. Letting go of how you are making them feel is part of ending a relationship.

#10 Shut them out. Cutting someone out of your life sucks and feels mean. If your ex can’t move on, do it. It is for their own good. When I was struggling to move on from my ex, I wish he would have cut me out. Yes, it would have stung, but it could have saved me years of being hung up on him.

When I finally stopped responding to him and checking his social media, I was able to move on for good. If he wanted to help me move on, he could have blocked me and stopped answering. I’m not saying it is his fault I didn’t move on quicker, but if you want to help your ex move on, cutting them off will do the trick.

[Read: Is it possible to remain as friends after a breakup?]

If you are trying to figure out how to help your ex move on, first realize it is not your responsibility. Secondly, if them not moving on is making things harder for you, follow these tips and they should move on for good.

The post How to Help Your Ex Move On, Get Over You for Good and Find Peace is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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