#i wish i could love someone in a way that makes sense and feels right yk? and maybe that’s not necessarily romantic
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sunny-knight · 19 hours ago
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Oh right. The other one.
CW: Undertale rant/analysis
Ive played Undertale- hundreds of times. and lately ive reflected on how the game is supposed to make you feel IN THE MOMENT- since ive kinda forgotten a lot of that. Because of the aforementioned ✨“hundreds of times”✨
Everything ofc still feels just as captivating, but nothings surprising because im not playing it from the perspective of someone who has absolutely no idea whats going to happen next. Sometimes I overlook and forget how the little details are supposed to make you feel/think about the characters. Like how Undyne is implied to be an abusive boss. After you get to know her, then replay, you hear how Papyrus talks about her at first, and see their interaction as you enter Waterfall, and you completely understand!
But BEFORE- youre like “oooohhh she’s threatening him-“
On this topic, I rewatched some playthroughs, and saw their first reactions to geno papyrus death, and I realized. that this room placement. IS SO COOL!!!!
Normally its like- yep! I just befriended/beat papyrus, time to continue on my way- oo hi sans! sure, ill go to Grillbys with you! Even on replays, you’re not really excepting him in any room hes in, im just like “oh yep, theres the man.”
But when you kill Papyrus for the first time, usually on a geno route. That same thing kicks in. You’re not predicting him to be there cause youre focused on the room youre in currently, but when you GET THERE youre like “oh yeah and thats where Sans is” but he’s NOT THERE and you stop for a millisecond and go “oh, no yeah, that makes sense.”
…the silence doesn’t help either.
Its worse that he’s all over the underground too, not just in the start of Waterfall. Even not seeing him in front of the mtt resort is just a slap in the face 😭
If youve gotten to the phase of killing people on purpose to see what will happen, youve also gotten to the phase of KNOWING theres gonna be consequences, so Sans not being there shoudnt hit as hard as it does BUT IT DOES (at least for me)
The typical reactions to Monster death in general that you cant avoid are Undyne and Sans’ speeches, and neutral run phonecalls. DIALOGUE. things that appear because of what you did. But with Sans its not what he does or says (up until the judgment hall) its what he doesn’t do.
He doesn’t bother to show up, to say anything to you because what is there to say??? Ignoring how personal it is for a sec- Sans knows this isnt your first time playing, but doesn’t comment on it (much). Right now he still believes the anomaly just wants to be happy, so gives the benefit of the doubt.
That is until you kill the dude that is impossible to kill on accident, or argue in self defense.
Now Sans knows the anomaly just wants to know what will happen. Doesn’t care if its bad or not, they’re just curious, so theres no point.
STILL he wants them to reset and do something ELSE so he halfway pleads with them in the judgment hall to rethink what they’ve done. The fact that he asks an answerable question feels important to me, like hes searching for something, ANY reason. But maybe hes trying to make you see that- there was no reason. Youre DUMB and you should RESET because- WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS????
What I also find really powerful even on replays, is the silence after he drops lines like this. Especially the judgment hall question. Sometimes I do sit there and soak in the silence like- “jesus. Yeah, why DID i do that?”
My main point of this entire thing is, I LOVE this game, I LOVE Papyrus and his impact on the game even when he isnt there, and I wish I could play it for the first time again, and fall in love with it all over again, but alas, hitting myself with a rock to screw up my memory only works 17% of the time,
so im happy enough sticking with changing my perspective, and taking a moment to remember what it felt like to accidentally kill toriel and realize your actions have consequences, to beat Undyne the Undying, to hug Asriel, to hear that Undertale was getting a “sequel”, and to hear that dreaded line, “Then why did you kill my brother.” all for the first time again.
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lightlycareless · 3 days ago
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i just read ur reader piercing naoya's ear fic and i was wondering can u write smth about naoya finding out reader got their belly button pierced? xx
Hello!!!
Did someone say smut? because that's what we got. I think hehe. I'm still somewhat uncomfortable writing it but you know what they say!! practice makes perfect 🙈🙈🙈 Anyways, thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask!!!!! 🥺 it took me a while to get an idea of what I wanted to write, but here we are :> I hope its to your liking!
Also, I believe this is the fic anon is referring to :> If not then gee I've written more about piercings that I've ever expected lol.
warnings: smut. MINORS DNI. you get a piercing and decide to... act weird about it. naoya does not like it :)
Happy reading!
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How you managed to hide your piercing from his ever-wandering hands is a commendable feat, even after all went down, you still don’t know how you did it.
Though all this could’ve been easily avoided in the first place if you hadn’t convinced yourself to do it after seeing a particular photoshoot and thinking “I can look just as good.”
As well as believing this would further spice up your life with Naoya. Like it wasn’t spiced enough!
But only after you surpass both your embarrassment and heal; unfortunately, the former only growing stronger and stronger upon realizing this was far more than what you bargained for.
You initially try to play it off as being sick whenever he gets too close. Not in the mood, even. “I’m dizzy.” “My head hurts.” “I’m on my period.” Are just a few of the excuses you deployed.
And your loving husband, always the (surprisingly) patient one, takes it, because he supposes that for his ever-willing wife he could allow these exceptions. Thus, right after you reject him, he cuddles up to you and falls asleep.
However, his tolerance quickly ends when understanding this wasn’t to be a 1-week occurrence. But rather, a monthly endeavor that soon turned his everyday into utter punishment.
Naoya frantically attempted to make sense of it all. Think that perhaps the reason behind your distance was because of some unknown issue that troubled your mind; you always tended to keep things to yourself, even if he’s countlessly assured you he could fix all of your problems—he just needs to know them first.
But even then… Naoya could not understand how easily you were able to detach from him. Because to him… to do so meant death itself.
The problem wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. Naoya had more than enough means to keep you satisfied however you needed it, and he made sure of that too.
Thus, at the lack of answers, he begins to feel threatened. Intimidated. Replaceable.
And we all know how Naoya gets when feeling such way.
“Princess, you will explain yourself—now.” Naoya demands, his abrupt, towering presence forcing you deeper into the bedroom, nowhere to escape.
“I don’t—I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You gasp, a blatant lie that only served to bury you deeper into your mistakes.
“Oh, no. I think you know exactly what I’m talking about, mochi.”
If you hadn’t transgressed Naoya, you would’ve found his approach very, very inciting.
Unfortunately, even if you wished to go down that path, your dear husband was far too infuriated by your ridiculous behavior to consider anything else that wasn’t confronting you.
“Why are you avoiding me? And don’t even try to get out of this one, I’ve been patient enough.”
You knew this moment was fast approaching; only a matter of time before you ran out of excuses… or patience to abuse.
There’s only so much he’s willing to tolerate before he… well, you don’t want to think about it.
“I’m just… I just— I don’t know how to tell you…” you breathe.
“How to tell me what?”
“Do you promise to not get angry at me?”
“I’m not sure if I can promise that.” He frowns. You swallow.
“…at least not too much?”
Naoya squints his eyes, as if considering it. You knew he wouldn’t, you were in the wrongdoing after all.
“Just don’t judge me, please.” You eventually profess, and after taking one last breath, you reach for your obi and untie it, careful to not reveal too much but just enough to show the bare skin of your abdomen—
And the shiny addition to your navel.
Naoya couldn’t hold back his laughter.
“Is that all, princess?” He chuckles loudly, like you just told him the funniest joke he’s ever heard. You do not find it amusing. “Is that the reason why you’ve been avoiding me??”
“Y—yeah I—I guess!” You frown, cheeks burning hot. “Don’t make fun of me, I was really hesitant whether to tell you or not!”
“Really? For this silly little thing?”
“It wasn’t silly to me, Naoya!” you cry.
“Alright, alright—I didn’t mean to upset you.” He says, curiously attempting to reach for your piercing before you smack him away. “Hey!”
You glance away, placing your obi back in place.
“Come on now, you don’t have to hide it from me.” Naoya smirks, stepping closer. “Hey, princess—”
“It’s still healing.” You quietly explain; a partial reasoning behind your dismissal.
“Ah, so you’re telling me you wouldn’t like me to help you?” He enticed, you retreated further into the wall; if possible. “I have more than enough experience with piercings, there’s no one in the estate more qualified than me.”
“Don’t misinterpret my words, you know I didn’t mean... that.” You caution, though he spoke nothing but the truth.
“Is that a yes?” Naoya continues, placing his fingers under your chin and pulling your gaze back to his.
“…only if you don’t make fun of me.” You eventually agree, and he seals the deal with a chaste kiss on your lips, followed by a tight hug that has you whining in pain. “Na—Naoya!”
“Oh, princess, I’m sorry.” Naoya says, quickly releasing you. “You poor thing… is this how it’s been since?”
You nod.
“Well, you’re in good hands now; and luckily for you, I know just the right thing that will ease your pain.”
Had you known Naoya would completely dedicate his time to make sure you weren’t passing any discomfort, then maybe you would’ve told him of your small endeavor from the very beginning.
It just… to see him so enthralled by your impulsive decision, you couldn’t help but wonder how different everything would’ve been if you had decided otherwise.
As well as how much you exaggerated your worries; hadn’t your husband consistently proven how far he’s willing to go just to make you happy?
From whatever craving you desired (but nothing that would hinder your healing process) to the endless kisses he’d place on your navel—as if he weren’t sufficiently hypnotized by your body, your piercing heightened that desire—Naoya was all yours. Completely allured.
But mostly by the rush he got at being the only person to know of the debauchery that hid beneath the pristine, meek and obedient look you carried around the estate; fitting to the wife of the future leader of the Zen’in— the same woman many admire by her gentleness, how you’re his living contrast, his better half; never daring to be as outrageous at he is!
If only they knew the truth.
No. It was better if they didn’t. He’d fervently keep all this enjoyment for himself.
“St—stop, Naoya!” you cry, squirming beneath his touch that roamed across your body, caressing the places where he’d like to taint next, such as your now sensitive nipples, which he’d squeeze and pinch incessantly for you to suffer in the following days.
Or your twitching clit, grazing it with no particular desire outside of tormenting you with pleasure. Remind you who really was in charge of your mere existence.
Yet, nothing compared to the way his cock plunged into your warm, tight walls—choking him so painfully exquisite, Naoya can’t help but moan whenever you do. Keeping your hips steady as he gives you all that he could not these past few months—blinding your sight with stars when bruising that one spot that always has you coming undone, which you desperately grasp whenever possible, wanting to steady that agonizing sensation.
Because as cruelly as your husband teased you, you equally desired to pour out all the desire you bottled up by a silly fear, let him enjoy the gift that was always meant for him. Your role in this marriage.
“It—it hurts—Naoya—!” you whimper, a profession Naoya was quick to interject as a lie given the way your cunt refused to stop milking him.
“Hmmm, it does, doesn’t it?” He breathes against your skin, placing ardent kisses across your cheek down to your neck as his hands reached for one of your nipples once more, giving it a particularly tight pinch that made you squeal.
“N—Naoya—!”
“Would it hurt here too, if you got a piercing?” he ponders curiously, another wave of excitement travelling all the way down to his member, which you felt grow even harder, bigger at the thought. Hips unwavering as if he were attempting to drill the proposition deeper and deeper into you.
Naoya was pretty much depraved when it came to your breasts, his hands or mouth always on them whenever possible; So, with this, you fear your chest will never know peace again.
But it doesn’t frighten you. In fact, you are willing to entertain such an idea. Endure the pain that follows this decision—for him to completely succumb to you.
“Would you do that for me, princess?” Naoya gasps, plummeting faster, stronger into you in that familiar sloppy way that signaled to you he was dangerously close.
You instinctively, as if second nature, wrap your legs around him, keeping him close, right there, followed by the agonizing tightness of you walls that soon make his voice tremble—stopping any silly consideration he might’ve had of spilling his seed anywhere else except where you deserved… though Naoya never entertained otherwise.
“Show how much you truly love me, by—by doing this?” he gasps, firmly shutting his eyes to not urge his release at the sight of your bouncing breasts.
“N—Naoya—!” you gasp, pulling him closer to you and captivating his lips in a heated kiss. Moaning into his mouth as your tongues intertwined with one another. “Ah—Naoya~! I—”
“Ple—Please, Y/N!” He suddenly begins to beg, now delirious with pleasure. “Please—Please do it for me, princess, you don’t know how happy this would make me—how much I wanted this!”
The combination of your devotion, your sweet whines, the tightness of your core, and the eagerness in the markings in his back is his ultimate downfall, just a few more thrusts and the first spurts of his burning seed spill deep within you—ropes of white covering your walls which you welcome almost jealously, as if wasting the smallest drop was the highest sacrilege.
And to a longing mother, it just might—but beneath your desires of a family, you wished to welcome back the husband your actions had unwillingly estranged: his intoxicating scent, the strength he’s amassed throughout years thanks to his strict routine, his burning touch tracing your skin with invisible lines…
But most importantly, his love, which you tightly held onto as he came down from his high, resting on your chest as he lets out a deep sigh, still plugged into you, just as he’d done the past few times in hopes his seed will finally take root. Naoya wishes to be a father too, and the thought always makes your heart flutter.
It’s the look of a man well satisfied. A man that has wholeheartedly committed to you, body and soul…
A husband that deserves to be rewarded, consoled. Urging you to speak coherently for the first time that night and let him know he no longer stands alone.
“I’ll do it.” You say, Naoya snuggles closer to you.
“Hm?”
“The piercing thing. I’ll do it, if that’s what you want.”
“The… oh.” Naoya blinks, moments of his passion suddenly flash back to his mind. Wouldn’t be the first time he’s spoken at the heat of the moment, nor the last.
“Do you really… want me to do that?” you murmur hesitantly. “Get another piercing?”
And for a few seconds, the two remain in complete silence, whether enjoying the intimacy he’s been cruelly deprived from, or considering your words… it didn’t matter. Neither wanted this moment to stop.
It was simply… perfect. Just the two, with each other’s heartbeat to fill the quietness in the room—and the doubts in your mind.
“No.” Naoya eventually confesses, placing a kiss on your skin. “I do not.”
Because as much as the idea enthralled him, he didn’t want to force anything on you. Certainly not for a piece of metal.
“You’re perfect to me like this. With or without piercings.”
Your heart tightens at his words.
“You don’t mind the one I already have, then?” you ask, he laughs. As if it hadn’t just shown you.
“No. Not at all; I didn’t think you could be any hotter, and yet, here you are… proving me wrong, my adorable lava cake.”
You frown at the gross nickname, playfully smacking him on the shoulder.
“Hey! What’s with the aggression?” He jests, but you simply hug him tighter, closer to you. “Is that how you treat the husband that had so lovingly filled you with his seed—"
“Shut up, don’t be crude!” You say, resting your head on his. After a few moments of silence, calming down, you declare: “…I love you.”
Naoya lets out a breathy chuckle, succumbing to your affection moments before his slumber.
“I love you more, my little mochi.”
Oh, how could you ever doubt his affection?
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I always suspected Y/N to be more of a tattoo kind of person; idk why, but I think it would complement each other nicely too. Naoya is with the piercings, and you with the tattoo's. We all known which one he'd like.
Also, I will never tire myself of writing Naoya as completely gross with you. Like, the mere thought of you hiding such a simple piercing from him is OOF he loves it. I mean, without the constant pushing him away lol But yeah, watching you walk around in one of those traditional yukatas with your hair all pulled up in the most appropriate way ever, looking to appease the Zen'in only for him to be like:
"Yeah, you see her? No one would suspect my wife has her nipples pierced." IS SUCH a HUGE turn on to him. Maybe you do get them later on, who knows? 😏
Anyways, I hope you liked this small thing I wrote 🫣 I shall continue to strive improving my smut skills, sometimes I get so inspired, sometimes... I don't even know what I'm doing :'(
Well, still; I wish y'all enjoy it. Take care and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️
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yuseirra · 10 months ago
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if there's one thing I personally focus on when I draw something, it would be the emotions. I try to convey the exact emotions of a character when I make art, and portray how they'd be feeling at that exact situation, as they say something, and so on...
I try to feel the same feelings they would when I draw an expression, as close as I can get at least, it's what I do over and over. You don't really have to do that ofc, but for me, it's a huge part of the point and it's really fun to do! It's what I believe could give my drawings more life and make them more genuine, even if it's a sketch (in fact, sometimes sketches can be more powerful on that aspect so I used to stick to drawing exclusively those for a very long time). That's how I pour my heart in, and I'm sure a lot of artists would do the same in their own ways when they create their works.
For that same reason, I really like drawing smiles (and characters that can make genuine ones) because that makes me happy. Other feelings are cool, too, but drawing happy art is so soothing, so I draw a lot of smiles!! It's also why I feel the need to understand a character, because you can't exactly feel what they'd be feeling unless you aren't so aware of what they're going through. I wouldn't be entirely right, I'm sure, but I really want to try. It's maybe why I usually stick to drawing a select few characters from a series all the time, because there are some characters I "get" better than others, and feel I can bring out better(and most of the time, luckily, those kinds of characters end up to be my favs, so I can draw then alot ;v;) Then again, I'm seeing them through my own lens of thinking, I'm just putting out what I see in those characters in the end. But it's usually the good things I love! Or something I feel is really intriguing and want to think about, or want to explore on, emphasize? Anyhow, it's the feelings and emotions part I've always been interested about! So I hope I can do that well!
My drawings aren't perfect, but they aren't too bad either, and I've been trying all the way. If they could imbue some sort of feeling for you, that's definitely what I wanted to accomplish! It makes me so excited when I get feedbacks about it being able to make someone "feel" something.. it means what I wanted got across so I'm like "yes"!!
it'd be nice if they will feel genuine one way or another!! I was and is and will be happy to continue to share my works with you all
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cuteniaarts · 7 months ago
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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calamarispider · 8 months ago
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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fenhonig · 1 year ago
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hey so im salty.
i saw something on reddit today that reminded me of why i feel such anger towards beauty standards. it was a video of a little girl, she couldnt have been over 5 or 6 years old, and she had a birthmark on her face. the skin right above her nose on her forehead was darker and wrinkled. nothing wrong so far, right?
here's the funny part. in the video, it shows this child before and after getting the birthmark surgically removed, which sounds fine on the surface right? even positive?
i cannot tell you how fucking angry it makes me. this kid, this CHILD, had her parents decide that her birthmark was something WRONG with her. they decided FOR HER to have it removed. it boils my fucking blood that her PARENTS, people who are supposed to LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY, saw this unique part of their child and decided that it was something that had to be removed. this kid is going to grow up knowing that this mark was something that was seen as a flaw. and that fucking hurts me.
it doesnt even seem like a big deal at first until you realize that this logic doesnt JUST apply to people with noticable birthmarks. you wanna know who also regularly get their bodies surgically altered at extremely young ages for aesthetic reasons even though there's nothing that would pose a threat to their health? intersex babies. not enough for you? how about babies born with certain deformities that, on their own, pose no threat to their health? do you think its ok to just decide that these children arent aesthetically appealing enough? to just decide for them to make a life-changing surgery happen?
and dont even come to me with the "well some conditions require surgical intervention" because thats not what im fucking talking about. im talking about people who are perfectly healthy, theres nothing about their unique condition that poses a threat to their health, but because that condition is seen as "weird" or "gross", they have their bodies permanently altered without any fucking say in it.
why do we teach these kids that there was something "wrong" that had to be "corrected" for them? why do we refuse to teach other kids that these differences arent a bad thing? why do CHILDREN, LITERAL FUCKING CHILDREN, have to be aesthetically pleasing for their parents to love them? you cant "love your child unconditionally" and then decide that one of their traits is just so unappealing that you decide to remove it for them. you dont love them unconditionally. you love them when they look normal to you.
i dont even care if it looks like im overreacting because this shit can, will, and already has hurt people. imagine growing up and knowing that your parents got rid of a trait that only you had JUST to make you look more pretty. more presentable. it didnt matter to your parents how you would feel afterwards when you could comprehend what had happened, all that mattered to them is that you looked appealing. that you looked correct. that you looked normal.
imagine being at that age and then realizing years later that you didnt look pretty enough for your parents to fully accept you. thats disgusting, absolutely fucking disgusting. children shouldnt be taught that certain traits make you have something wrong with you. instead of teaching kids to accept people and themselves as they are, parents teach their kids that they and other kids have to look normal to be accepted. they dont say it, but thats exactly what they teach.
people shouldnt have to fit into a certain box just to be seen as worthwhile. i dont even think that teaching kids that people outside the box matter too is good enough. we should teach kids that there shouldnt be a box in the first place.
you shouldnt have to look any sort of way to receive acceptance and love. you shouldnt have to BE any sort of way to receive acceptance and love. you're worthwhile. the way you were born shouldnt determine your worth, your actions should. some people arent worth the time, i will admit, but the people who are written off just for being born different deserve so much more.
if you're someone who is hated, seen as gross, seen as disgusting or seen as weird for something out of your control, remember that it isnt you who should take the blame. your own behavior, actions, views, they are what matters. anyone who targets you for something you couldnt control? fuck em.
that is my ramble, im extremely tired, please love yourself. and if you cant then love the people like you, maybe that will help.
#rambling#this is all rambling#not all of it makes sense#but i just. i feel so hurt when i think about the people treated poorly just for being born different#i know its typical and something almost everyone on this website could understand#but it always comes back#i think about it constantly#everytime i think im over it i come right back and feel so angry for those treated unfairly for something they cant control#you could literally be the worst person in the world and if someone made fun of your height i would be angry#you could be advocating for horrible shit but if someone uses a trait you cant control as a talking point against you i get so angry#it could be something like “haha that fat person is a bad person” and immediately i would feel rage#it could be “that person who commit a crime has darker skin” and just. rage#using something that someone didnt choose as an insult is so fucking immature#and it doesnt even make fun of them in a good way#make fun of them for the negative trait that they are willingly choosing to have#not for something that is so absolutely inconsequential to what they're actually doing/saying/believing#im tired. i really am.#its not like me saying “lets all get along” is gonna do anything#but god i wish it did#to those with traits people view as undesirable i love you#platonically#i love you so much for just putting up with that shit#because you genuinely dont deserve it#thats about it#if you're reading this please take care of yourself#and thanks for reading my stupid bullshit
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godsfavdarling · 3 months ago
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kissing him
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part of him (one-shot series), my masterlist
pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader summary: You and Spencer are taking things slow, and kissing him might be your favorite thing in the world. words: 700 warnings: kissing, anxious/sensitive reader, no y/n a/n: a quick little thing I wrote when I woke up! a little treat! I'm imagining early seasons Spence but you do you! I'm not gonna yuck anybody's yum!
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You and Spencer had been dating for a while. Your relationship was built on cute dates, always doing something fun—museums, bookstores, parks, movies. Whenever he was home, he made sure to spend as much time with you as he could. 
You both took things very slowly because Spencer knew how anxious you were about being in a relationship. Sharing your days and yourself with someone else was overwhelming, so he never pushed or rushed you. 
Most people who saw the two of you might have thought you were just friends. 
It wasn't until you found yourselves in a larger crowd that Spencer would strategically place himself behind you—1) to not lose you, and 2) to make you feel safer. He’d place his hand on your back, barely touching it, but you could feel it, and it made your stomach do cartwheels. 
You hated how sensitive you were. You wished you could be the opposite—bold enough to throw yourself at him and have a hot and heavy make-out session. But you weren’t. You needed time, and he wanted you to feel good with him.
The light touches gradually transformed into soft hugs and holding hands. If it was too hot outside, you’d hook your pinky around his, which he loved. It always made him smile, even though he tried to hide how giddy it made him feel. 
On the metro, you’d always hold hands, not just to avoid losing each other, but because Spencer knew how much you hated fast-moving crowds and the creeps who sometimes occupied the trains. So, he’d squeeze your hand whenever he sensed you feeling uneasy.
Your first kiss was something you still weren’t sure who initiated. Was it you, looking at his lips as you said goodbye after a movie date? Or was it him, noticing how you were looking at him and slowly closing the distance between your faces? Maybe it was both. In the end, it didn’t matter. The kiss was soft and sweet, just like you had imagined it. 
The moment his lips touched yours, you felt him shudder and inhale deeply, which made you somehow cling to him even closer. You often forgot that Spencer was as inexperienced as you were. 
Suddenly, his hands were on your waist, holding you gently, and your hands were on his cheeks. Then he slowly pulled away and looked at you. Oh god, the way he looked at you—as if you were the most divine creature in the universe. And he probably saw how you looked at him, dumbfounded, trying to process what had just happened. He smiled, kissed your cheek, and said goodnight with a promise to call tomorrow.
The kisses grew more casual and soon became a normal occurrence. Kissing Spencer became as natural as holding his hand (or hooking pinkies).
It took months for the two of you to have a proper make-out session. You were on his couch, and it might have been your fault—you couldn’t stop thinking about him, about kissing him. He even wandered into your dreams.
The movie was on, but you had no idea what it was because you kept glancing over at him, your heart racing. You tried to focus and just enjoy the evening, but you couldn't. He looked so pretty sitting next to you, completely absorbed in the movie with his brows furrowed. You were in such awe that you were startled when he turned and asked, "Why are you staring like that? Do I have something on my face?"
"No, no you don’t. Your face is... just... pretty," you replied.
He blushed and said, "Your face is pretty."
You didn’t know what came over you, but right then, as he said that, you pressed your lips against his. Before you knew it, your hands were in his hair, his hands were on your hips, and you pulled him onto you as you both fell back on the couch. He opened his mouth, letting your tongue in. 
He tasted so good, so sweet. 
You loved kissing Spencer. You had always wondered what kissing someone like that felt like. What was all the buzz about? It’s just kissing, and if you thought about it too much, it was frankly kind of gross, but now, with Spencer, you understood the buzz. This was your favorite place to be.
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velvetcrimsonkisses · 4 months ago
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Playing a game with Sukuna
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“Sukuna..” You call out, the old wood floor creaking under your every step. Walking through the house felt like a different realm. Sukuna’s realm.
The air is thick with an oppressive silence. The beast nowhere to be seen in the total darkness. The unsettling creaks of heavy footsteps run through the house. You can sense him, but you can’t see him.
“Sukuna… this isn’t funny anymore,” You call out again, your voice echoes in the old house.
Stomp
Each step sounds like a warning. You were about to be caught.
The corridor seems to grow narrower as your mind begins to spiral. The walls begin to feel like they’re closing in, as a chill runs down your spine. You feel those eyes on you. Tracking your every movement as you hastily make your way back to the room where the “game” started. Where he should’ve been. Where he should be.
You quickly open the door and like you presumed. He wasn’t there.
You hurriedly try to find the restraints he was in. Discarded on the floor you pick them up. Your face contorts to the image of disgust when you realize there’s slobber all over them.
“What an animal, he bit thru them…” You mumble under your breath, throwing the rope back on the floor.
You decide to head back out the room. Once again feeling the presence of unseen eyes watching you, just waiting to strike.
Stomp
Sharp fingernails run up your back, digging into your skin, a mix of pain and thrill take over your body. Red eyes glowing with a sinister light, fixating on you with an unnerving intensity. He finally got you.
Sukuna is like an apex predator. He liked to work for his prey. He loved lurking in the shadows of the house, his eyes filled with a malevolent intensity that always made you freeze. Not in fear but with desire. There’s no sane explanation why you both enjoyed this, not that you'd ever admit it to him. Maybe it's the way his fangs glistened in hunger for you, or how every muscle on his body ripples with power and precision, or his aura dominating every environment.
You know he would never actually hurt you, and if he did it wouldn’t last very long…
“I told you to run…” he questions with a low, menacing growl as he appears behind you. Three large arms capture you, the fourth wrapping around your neck. “Those pretty legs don’t take you far…” He mumbles, lips pressed right to your ear.
“I wasn’t trying to run..” He loosens the grip on your neck as you speak, pressing eager kisses to your neck and jawline. “I was trying to find you.”
“Were you now?” a menacing grin spreads across his face, one of his vast hands trails down your stomach, sliding under the waistband of your shorts. You close your eyes at the ticklish feeling.
“That scent…” he bites into your neck. “Your arousal smells divine,” He grunts, his nails trace your entrance.
He slides one finger in, focusing on the small bundle of nerves that he knows makes you crumble under his touch. Still using two hands to hold your body up, he begins rubbing it in small circles, spreading your slick all through your folds. An amused smile paints his face, as he finally enters a digit into you.
Long and thick fingers pump deep inside you. Fingers that are no match for the human body but, here you were taking them so well. Just for him. He plunges his fingers deeper, curling them to hit that sweet spot inside you. He stares at the beautiful faces you make as you take him. Wishing he could freeze them forever. Sukuna never thought he could derive such pleasure from pleasuring someone else but here was. With his sweet mortal that he swears he doesn’t care about.
“I can feel you tightening around my fingers,” he chuckles darkly, his red eyes glinting with a sadistic pleasure. “Make more of those pathetic noises,” he commands you, digging his nails deeper into your hot skin.
The pleasure is almost unbearable, tears start to form in your eyes, threatening to fall down your red cheeks. Sukuna notices the tears and you can almost see the satisfaction on his face. He finds pleasure in making you cry, and you knew this. Feeling his cocks get hard behind you, poking into your back which results in you arching against his body.
His eyes darken with desire, eager for your orgasm. He feels you clench his fingers tighter. “Close are you now?” he teases, picking up his pace. Moving faster, harder, and deeper inside you. His thumb grazing over your clit with just enough pressure to drive you crazy. “Fall apart for me, I got you.”
And you do. Finally reaching your orgasm, he holds your body up and you let it wash over you. He continues rubbing your clit, allowing you to enjoy the full effect of it until you’re a trembling mess beneath him. You watch him lick his fingers clean of your essence as you try to catch your breath. He finally removes his arms from around you slowly, ready to catch you if you stumble.
“Go hide again…”
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luveline · 1 year ago
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I would love to see more of badass reader x Spencer, but maybe reader gets hurt on a case (like a concussion or something) and only wants Spencer and we get to see more of reader’s soft spot for Spencer. Idk if that made sense or if that’s anything you’d be interested in writing. Love reading whatever you write!💕
thank you for your request and for reading babe!! —your singular soft spot for spencer rises to the surface when you get hurt in the field. fem!reader, 1.1k
Emily's foot tap tap taps hospital linoleum. The nurses are getting worried about you —your CAT scans are fine, but you're lethargic. Mildly concussed with moderate symptoms, you winced at the lights, told Emily to turn them off, and haven't said much since. 
She frowns. It's not nice to see someone who's usually so closed-off openly pained. "You okay?" she asks. 
"I wanna see Spence," you murmur. 
Emily nods slowly. She's had this conversation with you already. You have a spot of amnesia, nothing to worry about, decidedly temporary. 
"Why hasn't he come to see me?" you ask. Your voice trips and tumbles, your eyes glowing with a glassy sheen. "I thought he'd come to… make sure I was okay. But he doesn't want to see me." 
"Spencer's on the way here. He was an hour away with Hotch, remember? They're on their way." 
You twitch like a displeased cat under your sheets and turn away from her, sniffling weakly. Your shoulders heave with slow tears. Emily gets up to rub your back but thinks better of it when you stiffen. She doesn't understand how you function, doesn't know what it is about Spencer alone that you can be vulnerable with him and not the others, but she won't judge you for it. She just wishes there was more she could do. 
It's an untold amount of time between your tears and Spencer's awaited arrival. You're worse than lethargic, depressed, hand lax behind your back and unresponsive to the sound of the door. 
"She's asleep?" he mouths. His hair is limp either side of his face, flattened by anxious hands. 
"Upset," she mouths back through a frown, drawing a tear down her cheek with her pinky finger. 
He doesn't give Emily a second glance after that. 
"Hey," he says softly, rounding your hospital bed, touching the tips of his fingers to your hip and drawing a gentle line up your side. His head dips down, bending at the waist to see you better in the dim lighting. "Hey, what's wrong?"
You make a small keening sound from the back of your throat. It's so cleaving that Emily wants to leave, so painful that she wants to stay. You're her friend too. Emily cares about you, even when it hurts to do so.
"I don't feel like me," you say. 
Spencer doesn't shy away either. His expression is open, reassuring as he pops into a semi squat that can't be comfortable. His hand closes around your arm, thumb feeling the naked skin there sweetly. "It's normal to feel confused after a head injury. I promise it won't last." 
"I don't feel well," you say, small, like a scared kid. 
"I know." 
You reach for him. Emily knows Derek would never believe it, your hands stretched out almost desperately, the pleading noise yanked from between teeth normally gritted. Spencer wraps long arms around you with the ease of someone who's done it before, maybe exactly like this. 
"It's okay," he says. He's speaking with pep he doesn't feel. Emily can see he's stressed in the high pinch of his shoulders, but he's putting on a show for you. "You don't have to be scared. It's okay." 
The perpetual line carved between Hotch's brows seems deeper as he enters the room. Neither of you look up, your back loosening under the lazy back and forth of Spencer's hand. 
"Concerning, right?" Emily asks. 
Hotch ignores her, but not for lack of agreement. "What do her observations say?" 
"Mild to moderate head injury, post-concussion amnesia, fractured index and middle finger on her left hand." 
"Where are her clothes?" he asks. 
"They can't check her out until she gets her fingers cast and all she brought in her go bag was slacks." 
"I'll get her some pyjamas," Hotch says. 
Emily's not sure what's funnier, the idea of you in pyjamas, the image of Hotch choosing a pair, or the word pyjamas in his stoic murmur. He lingers to make sure you're okay, his eyes tracking the tremble of your arms as Spencer talks too low to hear in your ear, having sat down on the bed and curled himself around you protectively. 
You moan something sad and Spencer laughs, your hospital gown crinkling as he massages the top of your shoulder. "Why would you say that?" he asks lightly. "You think you know better than me? Really?" 
"Of course not," you say. If it were anyone else, you'd have knocked them off the bed already. 
"I don't remember you having an eidetic memory," he furthers. 
You actually manage to laugh for the first time since your initial injury. "I don't remember anything right now," you say. 
Emily leans over to Hotch. "You know, when we first came in, I suggested to the nurse that she might have amnesia because she kept asking me where she was, and she looked me dead in the eye and said, well, good thing you're not a nurse." 
Hotch scoffs a laugh. "It's a little surprising even now. Seeing them together, you'd never think it." 
"Think what?" Emily asks, fond rather than judgemental. "That she's as emotional as a China teacup?" 
"I'll remember for both of us," Spencer murmurs, stroking your face. "Okay? So calm down." 
Derek once told you to calm down and felt the cold of your icy attitude for a ragged week. Spencer says it and you take a visible deep breath, your head laying back in your pillows, his hand quick to cup the side of your neck. "Okay," you say quietly. 
"It's not just that," Hotch says, failing to explain further. 
He doesn't have to. Emily knows what he means. You can be snippy, aloof, unfriendly. But it's not just your softening that's surprising, it's Spencer's growing confidence. The ease with which he handles you, hands unabashed in their comforting. 
"Want me to find you something to wear?" Spencer asks. 
"We got it," Hotch interrupts. "Take it easy, Y/N. Rest." 
You nod obediently. He and Emily leave, hearing a last snippet of conversation as the heavy door closes behind them. 
"You wanna sign my cast, when they do it?" you ask hopefully. 
"Are you kidding? I'd love to. I've always wanted to sign someone's cast, and it's good for your morale." 
"Will they be in a cast long, do you think?" 
"They should be healed in about six to eight weeks, but you may not regain full strength for another two months afterward. There have actually been studies…" 
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buckyalpine · 11 months ago
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I want more mob bucky teaching a shy bambi to touch him cause she’s scared and hesitant and his sweet little princess has never touched a man before, not until she met him. (Disclaimer: all consenting adults here, reader is naïve and inexperienced but absolutely wants him just as bad)
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“Are you sure?”
“Of course Bambi” Bucky purred, keeping you in his lap while sitting in his office chair. “You’re not doing anything wrong”
“But-
Your eyes flicked to his thick erection, the bulge in his pants making your stomach flip. You’d never admit out loud how many times you’d secretly glanced over, heat pooling between your legs whenever you’d catch a glimpse of his length pressing painfully hard against his pants.
You instinctively pressed your thighs together, biting back a whimper, struggling to ignore the pulse you felt between your now very soaked folds. Your parents told you over and over again that was a no no area. No one was ever to touch you there ad you definitely were not to touch someone’s private’s.
“I was told I’m not allowed” you shyly whispered, blinking innocently.
“Not allowed to what” Bucky smirked, knowing what you were talking about but he loved to make you squirm, “what are you now allowed to do baby”
“Touch-touch you there” you stuttered out, avoiding his darkened gaze.
“Awww princess, but daddy gave you permission, remember?” His nose nudges against your cheek, “I told you you’re allowed to touch me right here baby”
He guides your hand down to his clothed cock, letting you feel how hard he is for you. He presses your shaky palm against his length, holding it there while your fingers twitch with uncertainty. What if you did something that hurt him accidentally? Bucky could see the wheels in your head turning, tilting your face to kiss your lips.
“You won’t hurt me Bambi” he cooed, working at his belt buckle, letting it hit the floor before pulling his cock out. He was so thick and leaky, his silky pink tip wet with his arousal.
“But daddyy” you whined, worried you’d do something wrong, too nervous to touch him there. “That’s- we’re not allowed to touch that place, it’s your p-
“I’ll teach you, Y’know it feels good when you touch me there, C’mon, daddy’s cock is so hard baby, stroke it better, it’ll make me feel good” He’d told you countless times he’d love when you play with his cock and no one else but you is allowed to anyway. Only his Bambi can see and touch him there. You let him wrap your hand around this throbbing length as he guides your hand up and down while keeping you on his meaty thighs, the warm skin of his cock pulsing with each stroke.
“Fuck bambi” Bucky moaned, his head hitting the head of the chair, thrusting his hips up while he helped you jerk his cock, loving the way your eyes were fixated on his length, experimentally gripping him harder, "That’s it babygirl, stroke it nice and hard”
You whimpered at his words, the combination of his heavy breaths and raspy moans making that spot between your legs throb. Which didn’t go unnoticed by him the slightest. He let go of your hand letting you take over for a bit before moving you off his lap to stand between his legs.
“Daddy?- before you could finish, he hushed you, lifting you with ease to sit on his table in front of him. “Daddy, what are you-
“Shhh baby. Why are you all squirmy, hm? Are you all wet now Bambi?”
You whined in response, torn between wishing he’d do something and feeling conflicted over if this was okay. Bucky kissed up your thigh, sensing your hesitation.
“You’re not doing anything wrong baby, let me see princess” he moved you to lie down on his table while he spread your thighs apart, pulling up the dress of your skirt to reveal your cotton panties. “You’re such a good girl” he whispered, rubbing the soaked material up and down the middle of your clothed cunt.
“You made a mess in your panties baby” Bucky smirked, pushing them aside, the sight of your soaked folds too much for him to bother with restraint. He needed your pussy fully exposed to him, pulling them down your legs and shoving your thighs apart. "Look at that Bambi, my poor baby is soaking"
You pouted at him while he groaned at your sweet scent, leaning down to part your folds, pressing a soft kiss right onto your clit making you gasp. His warm lips were soft on your most sensitive parts, the sensation addicting as he kissed you there again. "Your little button is so precious baby, are you gonna let daddy play with you there?"
"P-please" you nodded, choking on your words when he sealed his lips around your bud, suckling with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the table.
He's actually such a menace though. Cause imagine he gets you to touch his cock whenever he wants. Doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. He'll push his hips forward letting you know how hard he is for you, pulling it out and helping you stroke him till he's cumming all over your hand. You're always so shy about it and he gets off on the way you try so hard to not stare even though your mouth is watering.
He plays with your clit like its his own personal toy. Whenever you're in his lap, he's sneaking his hand into your panties, rubbing lazy circles around your silky skin. Sometimes its not even fast enough to make you cum. He just loves the moans you make when he's touching you somewhere no one else is allowed to, rubbing your most intimate parts like he owns you.
Imagine the day he lets you to put your mouth on him. His precious Bambi scared to suck cock but he's there to help her, parting her little pouty lips to slip his swollen tip till it hits her throat.
Don't even get me started on the day you first have sex. How much he's gonna coddle you in bed, reassuring you theres nothing dirty about the fact that his dick is stretching your cunt apart, all while playing with your clit making you squeal. Theres nothing filthy about how much cum he's going to flood you with. Nothing debauched about the way his heavy balls hit her ass or about the way it all feels so good, he's gonna fill you up again.
"D-daddy, are you sure?"
"Very sure Bambi, you're still my good girl"
After all how can something that feels this good be wrong?
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navybrat817 · 5 months ago
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Fall for Me
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky doesn't think he's good enough for you, but still wishes he could be your guy. Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Longing, insecurities, "just friends" (for now), Steve is a good friend, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: We'll call this a Friday Feels inspired by a nonnie.❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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It was a special kind of torture for Bucky to watch the person he loved flirt with someone else.
To be fair, he couldn't say for sure that you were flirting. Being friendly? Yes. You had a warm and welcoming personality, the kind he was drawn to the moment you two crossed paths months ago. One of the things he loved about you was how genuine you were. It was only natural that you pulled others in as well. Your compassion, charm, beauty, everything called to him.
You were the whole package, inside and out.
“What the hell am I doing here?” He muttered. He hadn't wanted to go to the bar, but Steve assured him it was a hole-in-the-wall sort of place. Not a lot of patrons on a night like this. Somewhere no one would bother them. He added at the last second that you were going.
Bucky grabbed his leather jacket to go as soon as those words left Steve’s mouth.
Instead of having a drink with you like he wanted or just talking, he simmered in silence in a booth while you stood at the bar. He narrowed his eyes as the guy you were talking to moved an inch closer. A bit too close for his liking.
Steve said his name was Will. They had met each other at some point in passing. Short blonde hair and a trimmed beard. Ex-military, but still built like he had a war to fight. Behind the guy’s blue eyes lurked pain, guilt, and regret that most would miss due to his general stoic demeanor. Bucky could relate all too well to horrors that haunted even the strongest of men.
But when Will looked at you, his eyes lit up. They held a sense of longing. Hope.
Once again, Bucky could relate all too well because that was how he looked at you.
“You’re doing that staring thing again,” Steve said, grabbing a beer from the bucket and setting it down in front of him. “Just talk to her.”
Bucky took a swig, but didn't take his eyes off you. He was afraid if he looked away that Will might convince you to leave with him. “Talk to her about what?”
His best friend sighed. “You know what.”
Steve knew how he felt about you. Talking about his feelings wasn't easy, but he had to tell his best friend. And it wasn't the first time Steve encouraged him to speak up. He said you had the right to know so the two of you could figure out how to move forward, whether as a couple or just friends, instead of dancing around it.
But how could Bucky admit how he felt when he didn't deserve someone like you?
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said.
“Bullshit.”
“We're friends,” Bucky stated. The words tasted as bitter as the beer he sipped. No, not bitter. He couldn't feel that way just because he had a piece of you when he wanted all of you.
Was he selfish for that?
He nearly shattered the bottle in his hand when you giggled at whatever Will said. Something akin to jealousy settled in his chest and he had no right to feel that way. The two of you weren't together. You were single and didn't owe him a thing.
But he knows if you gave him a chance, he’d treat you well. Better than any other guy before him. He would do his best to make you happy. Maybe that wasn't enough.
“Will is a good guy, but he isn't you, Buck. You’re still one of the best guys I know,” Steve said.
“You don't have to kiss my ass, punk,” he muttered, immediately regretting it. He was only trying to help and God knows he had done more than enough for him over the years.
Steve shook his head. “And you don't have to feel sorry for yourself, jerk.”
“I’m not,” he whispered. Maybe he was. He was sorry for so many things.
As if you sensed his sadness, you looked over your shoulder and met his gaze. You smiled at him, the kind of smile that stole the very breath from his lungs and made his head spin. He wanted to believe it was a smile you reserved only for him. And the softness in your beautiful eyes, he imagined he could see his future in them.
Could you see the endless love he had for you in his?
His heart ached when you turned away and put your hand on Will’s arm. Of course, you were attracted to the guy. Why wouldn’t you be? The thought of you kissing him though, being intimate with him? He felt sick enough to finally look away.
Bucky glanced at his distorted reflection in the beer bottle. A long time ago, he would've called himself handsome. Not because he was full of himself, but because he knew himself then. He knew how to walk the line between confidence and cockiness. He was full of life and wonder once. Now the weight of his sins showed in how he carried himself.
Sins you never judged him for.
“Jamie? Are you okay?”
Steve nudged him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He was so lost in his mind that he hadn’t heard you call out to him. He should’ve known since you were the only one who called him Jamie. When he looked up from his seat, he saw that you were no longer standing next to Will as he was still at the bar. And there was nothing but concern in your gaze as you set your drink down on the table.
“What? What happened?” He asked, not smooth at all.
Your eyes flickered to Steve and then back at him. “I asked if you’re okay. You don’t look too well.”
“Not feeling so great,” he said, which wasn’t a lie. “This place…”
“Oh,” you said, sliding into the booth beside him. He inhaled, your sweet scent soothing the pain in his heart and making it race all at once. “Well, why don’t we head out? There’s no reason to stay if you don’t want to stay.”
He gently smiled. You were always willing to go with the flow and change plans if things ever got too loud or too much for him. “I’m fine. Besides, you just got your drink and you haven’t had a chance to play pool with Sam or Natasha,” he argued. He didn’t want to spoil your night.
You put your hand on his arm, but it seemed different than when you touched Will’s arm. This was tender, soothing. “If being here is making you uncomfortable, then I don’t feel like sticking around. They’ll understand. Steve, please, back me up on this.”
“She’s right. You two should go,” Steve said, conveniently leaving himself and the others out of the equation.
Bucky spared Will a glance, who was now talking to the guys he went into the bar with. He swallowed hard before the next words left his mouth. “What about your new friend?”
“You are my friend, Jamie,” you said. He winced inwardly at the reminder. Friends. You were just friends. “Don’t worry about him. Let’s just go. How about a movie at your place? Something low-key so you feel better.”
“You sure?” He asked, wondering just how eager he looked to leave with you.
“I’m sure,” you smiled, making his heart warm again.
“Okay. You convinced me,” he said. Not that it would’ve taken much. Your smile could bend the will of just about anyone.
“You know, I hear healthy conversations are also good to help people feel better,” Steve chimed in, earning an elbow to the side from Bucky.
You raised an eyebrow and slid out of the booth. “Yeah. Sure. Jamie and I can have a healthy conversation and you all enjoy the rest of the night.” You offered Bucky a hand to help him out. He didn’t want to let go. “C’mon. We have a movie waiting for us.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky teased, proud of himself when you giggled.
Steve gave him an optimistic smile and he couldn’t help but return it. He wasn’t sure if Will had given you his number or if you planned to see him, but maybe he’d take a chance and tell you he had fallen for you. Maybe, if he was lucky, you had fallen for him, too.
Just maybe.
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And maybe, just maybe, this could be a thing? Did Will give you his number? Will Bucky say how he feels? What's going to happen? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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theonottsbxtch · 8 days ago
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FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY | OP81
an: happy birthday @iimplicitt everyone go and wish her a happy birthday! this is a little piece for you that will make you sadder that you're not in a relationship with oscar but it's a gift from me to you, ily <3
wc: 3.5k
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The morning sunlight seeped through the thin, linen curtains, casting soft patterns on the wall, and she stirred, blinking her eyes open as she felt the familiar warmth against her back. Oscar’s arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, his steady breathing a gentle rhythm against her neck. She could feel his lips brushing soft, lazy kisses along her shoulder, the way he always did when he thought she was still asleep.
For a moment, she simply lay there, soaking in the quiet closeness of it all. The fresh scent of Oscar’s cologne and the warmth of his body made her feel safe, cherished. She allowed herself to close her eyes again, smile lingering on her lips as he tightened his hold just slightly, burying his face into her hair, his fingers gently tracing patterns along her arm.
It was her birthday.
She’d woken up with a flutter of excitement, the way she always had since she was a little girl. There was something magical, something undeniably special about the feeling of a day that was just yours. And now, waking up like this, wrapped up in the warmth and the love of someone who’d stolen her heart—that feeling should’ve been even stronger.
But as the minutes ticked by and he continued to kiss her in that quiet, thoughtful way he did each morning, not a single word was said.
Maybe he’s just distracted, she thought, feeling the slight tug of disappointment. After all, the season was coming to an end, and she knew how focused he got, especially in the days before a race. Formula 1 demanded so much of him, and she respected that. He’d been there for her in ways she hadn’t even dared to hope for, bringing more joy and care into her life than she could have ever asked for.
But... not even a whisper of "happy birthday"? Not a hint, not a knowing look in his eyes?
She felt him shift behind her, his hand slipping up to brush a strand of hair from her cheek, his thumb tracing her jawline with that same tender familiarity. His lips pressed gently against her neck, a sleepy hum in his throat. He felt so close, so utterly devoted, and yet...
He’s just busy, she told herself, letting out a soft sigh. It’s probably the last thing on his mind.
She sighed softly, stretching in his arms, and he pulled her a little closer, his lips brushing her forehead in that sleepy, casual way of his. His eyes were still half-closed, hair tousled, but there was a lazy smile on his face as he woke up with her.
“Morning,” Oscar murmured, voice rough with sleep, his thumb tracing slow circles along her hip.
“Morning,” she whispered back, trying to keep her tone as normal as possible. She didn’t want him to sense that she’d been holding her breath, waiting for him to say… well, something. A small “Happy Birthday, love,” maybe, or even just a knowing smile, some hint that he remembered. But he hadn’t. And it was clear now that he wouldn’t.
“So,” he yawned, shifting his legs under the blankets, “today’s kinda busy. Lando and I have this thing at the sponsor’s studio. Some shoot for a promo video, I think. They’re calling it an ‘inside look’ at race prep or something, but really it’s just us standing around talking, I’m pretty sure.” He chuckled, rubbing his eyes. “They’ve got us doing all this media stuff lately.”
“Oh, yeah?” she replied, forcing herself to smile. “You’ll be a natural.” She reached up to run her fingers through his hair, hoping he’d look at her, maybe even catch her eye and give her a hint that he hadn’t forgotten after all.
But Oscar only nodded, giving her a sleepy grin as he leaned back, stretching his arms above his head. “And you? Got a day at the office, right?” he asked casually, as though it was any other day of the year. “What’s on your agenda?”
She took a breath, trying to keep her voice light. “Yep, just the usual. A couple meetings, and I’ll probably have to cover for someone at the desk. I’ll be out by five.”
He nodded, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Sounds like a good day. We’ll both be back around the same time, then.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling faintly. “Guess so.”
She got out of bed, pulling her robe around herself and heading to the bathroom, where she stared at her reflection, trying to shove away the hollow feeling that was starting to settle in her chest. She should’ve been used to this by now, she told herself. Oscar’s schedule was demanding; he barely had time to stop and breathe some days, let alone keep track of something like a birthday. Besides, she knew he cared for her deeply—his warmth in the mornings, his texts at odd hours when he thought of her, all the small ways he showed her mattered so much more than one day of the year.
But as she brushed her teeth, tied her hair back, and headed into the wardrobe to pick out her work clothes, she couldn’t quite shake the disappointment. She wanted to laugh at herself for caring so much. It was just a birthday.
Yet the more she tried to pretend she was fine, the more her heart kept slipping. She threw on her blouse and slacks, fixing her makeup with hands that were just a little less steady than usual, and made her way back into the bedroom, where he was now scrolling through his phone, probably checking the texts from his manager.
“Have a good day, okay?” Oscar said as she slipped on her shoes. He gave her a small, warm smile as he leaned over, pressing one last kiss to her cheek, his hand resting on her shoulder as if to linger with her a moment longer.
“Yeah. You too,” she murmured, giving him a faint smile as she grabbed her bag, willing herself not to linger, not to let herself feel anything other than grateful for the morning they’d shared. She gave him one last glance, catching his gaze as he looked at her, that usual warmth in his eyes. And then she turned, heading out the door, whispering to herself that it didn’t matter. It wasn’t important.
The office was buzzing when she walked in. As soon as she stepped through the door, her coworkers greeted her with bright smiles, some even standing up from their desks to call out, "Happy birthday!" There was a small pile of gifts on her desk, wrapped in cheerful paper and bows, and a few balloons taped to her chair. She felt herself smiling genuinely for the first time that morning, warmth flooding her chest as she set her bag down.
“Oh my gosh, you guys,” she laughed, cheeks flushing as she picked up a card signed by everyone. “This is too much.”
“Nonsense!” her friend and desk-mate chimed in, appearing at her side with a cupcake topped with a single, brightly coloured candle. “You deserve all of this and more. We all know you make this place actually run.”
She chuckled, feeling the warmth and kindness radiating from the team. As she took in their gifts—a handmade scarf from the coworker who crocheted on her lunch breaks, a small box of her favourite teas, a lovely journal for her ever-growing stack of notes—she felt touched, genuinely happy. Her coworkers hadn’t forgotten; in fact, they’d gone out of their way to make her feel special.
But there was still that empty space in her chest. A quiet, lingering ache as she glanced at her phone, hoping to see a message pop up on her screen. Maybe Oscar would text her between shoots, or send her a voice message—just a quick “Happy birthday” or even a simple smiley face. Something that would tell her he’d thought of her.
Yet as the hours passed, her phone stayed stubbornly silent, aside from the usual work notifications and a few birthday messages from friends. She knew that he didn’t text much during the day, that his shoots and meetings usually stretched longer than he liked to admit. But part of her had hoped that, just today, he might make an exception.
At lunch, her friends surprised her with a small cake in the break room. They sang to her, a little off-key but with a lot of heart, and she found herself laughing along, feeling incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such warmth and care. She tried to push aside her thoughts of him, to keep her mind off the absence of his message. He’s busy, she told herself, taking a bite of cake as her friends chatted around her. It’s not a big deal.
Still, every time she felt her phone buzz in her bag, her heart leapt, just for a moment, and each time, she couldn’t help but feel the sting of disappointment as she realised it wasn’t Oscar. It was as if her heart was doing a balancing act, teetering between gratitude for the people around her and that quiet ache that her mind kept insisting wasn’t fair to feel.
As she stepped out of the office and into the cool evening air, she felt the weight of the day pressing down on her. She’d kept a brave face, laughed at all the right moments, and soaked up every bit of love her friends and coworkers had poured into her. But now, alone with her thoughts, she felt the ache returning, stronger than before. She wanted nothing more than to go home, slip into a hot bath, and just let herself feel it all—the disappointment, the loneliness, the hurt she’d been pretending wasn’t there.
As she walked up to her building, she noticed his car wasn’t parked out front. Somehow, that felt like a small blessing. She was grateful for a few quiet moments to herself, to feel everything she’d been holding back all day.
The apartment was dark and quiet when she stepped inside, the air still. She kicked off her shoes, leaving them haphazardly by the door, and shrugged her bag off her shoulder, not bothering to turn on any lights as she made her way down the hallway. She was so drained, and all she wanted was the familiar comfort of their room, a place where she could let her guard down completely.
When she pushed open the door to the bedroom, though, she stopped short.
There, spread across the bed, was a beautiful assortment of gifts wrapped in elegant, colourful paper, with a cluster of balloons tied to the foot of the bed. She blinked, her eyes taking in the soft glow of fairy lights that had been draped over the headboard. Each balloon had a photograph attached—moments from their time together, candid shots from races, vacations, cosy evenings at home. Her heart clenched at the sight, an overwhelming mix of disbelief and relief filling her chest.
And then, as if on cue, Oscar stepped out from the closet, a tiny cupcake in his hand, a single candle flickering on top. His face was lit by the candle’s glow, a quiet, tender smile on his lips as he looked at her, his eyes warm and full of a love that nearly undid her.
“Happy birthday,” he whispered, voice soft but full of so much feeling that it made her knees weak.
She stared at him, her eyes filling with tears as she let out a shaky laugh, feeling a rush of emotions she could barely contain. “I thought… I thought you forgot,” she managed, her voice breaking as she took a step toward him, her hands trembling. “I thought you were too busy, that… that you didn’t remember.”
Oscar’s face softened, and he closed the distance between them, setting the cupcake on the nightstand as he reached out to pull her into his arms. “Forget?” he murmured, holding her close, one hand coming up to stroke her hair as she let out a small, choked sob into his shoulder. “How could I ever forget your birthday? I’ve been planning this for weeks.”
She clung to him, her fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as she finally let the tears fall, letting herself feel everything she’d been holding back. He held her tightly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back, letting her release every ounce of doubt and hurt she’d felt throughout the day.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered between soft sobs. “I just… I thought maybe with everything going on, it slipped your mind. I didn’t want to feel that way, but I… I couldn’t help it.”
Oscar pulled back just enough to look at her, brushing away a tear from her cheek with his thumb, his gaze filled with understanding. “I get it,” he said gently. “I wanted it to be a surprise, to make it perfect. But if I’d known it would make you feel like this…” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering there as he held her close. “I would’ve done it differently.”
She shook her head, a tearful laugh escaping her. “No, this is perfect. It’s… it’s everything. I just didn’t expect it, and I guess I didn’t realise how much I wanted it.”
He smiled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You deserve to feel special today. Every day, really. I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”
She smiled up at him, feeling the weight on her chest finally lifting as she took in the warmth in his eyes, the quiet thoughtfulness of every detail around them. Oscar reached over, picked up the cupcake, and held it between them, nodding toward the candle.
“Make a wish,” he murmured.
She looked at him, her heart swelling as she realised that her wish had already come true. But still, she closed her eyes, letting herself make a small, quiet wish before blowing out the candle.
When she opened her eyes, he was still looking at her, his own gaze soft and full of a promise she could feel without words.
She sat down on the edge of the bed, her fingers tracing over the colourful wrapping paper, feeling almost shy with him watching her so intently. It was like every small, careful detail had been planned with her in mind, each gift waiting patiently for her to unwrap it.
The first package she reached for was a familiar shape—a shoebox. She unwrapped it slowly, her heart catching in her throat as she lifted the lid to reveal a pristine pair of black Dr. Martens. She laughed, a soft, delighted sound, running her fingers over the leather. “You remembered,” she murmured, looking up at him with a grateful smile. “I was saying just last week that mine were about ready to fall apart.”
“I know,” Oscar grinned, hands in his pockets as he watched her. “I was pretty sure you’d been trying to ignore the hole in the sole. Figured it was about time for an upgrade.”
She smiled, warmth spreading through her chest as she slipped the boots aside, reaching for the next gift. It was a neatly wrapped package, smaller and heavier, with an unmistakable shape. She tore away the paper, her breath catching when she saw the cover—the first book in her favourite series, one she’d read so many times that the copy on her shelf was practically falling apart. But as she opened the book, her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, her fingers tracing over the author’s signature scrawled inside the cover, a small message addressed just to her. She flipped through the rest of the books in the series, each one signed with a personal note. “How… how did you manage this?”
Oscar sat down beside her, looking a little smug but mostly just pleased with her reaction. “You’ve talked about those books more times than I can count,” he said with a small shrug. “I figured I’d reach out to the author’s team, see if I could make it happen. Took a little convincing, but… worth it, I think.”
She looked up at him, eyes shining with gratitude and awe, feeling like her heart might just burst. “It’s… it’s perfect,” she said softly, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.
He smiled, brushing a thumb over her hand as she picked up the final box, smaller and elegantly wrapped in deep blue paper. She carefully peeled it open, lifting the lid to find a delicate necklace nestled inside. It was simple and beautiful—a silver pendant with both of their initials engraved on it, entwined together in a tiny, subtle script. Her heart swelled as she held it up, running her fingers over the cool metal.
As she admired it, he reached up and pulled something out from under his shirt—a matching necklace, with the same delicate initials. The pendant hung just over his heart, a quiet, constant reminder of her that he must have been wearing all day.
Her chest tightened, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek as she took it all in, the thoughtfulness, the care he’d put into every detail. She reached over, cupping his face with trembling hands as her voice broke.
“You wore it all day,” she whispered, her heart so full she could barely speak.
Oscar smiled, reaching up to cover her hand with his. “Of course I did. You’re with me everywhere I go,” he murmured, his voice soft. “No matter how crazy the schedule, or how many days I’m away… I wanted you to know that you’re always with me.”
She melted, letting herself fall into his embrace, her head tucked under his chin as he held her close. She felt like everything she’d worried about, every bit of doubt that had crept in throughout the day, had simply vanished, replaced by a love so real and constant she didn’t know how she could have ever doubted it.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against her cheek.
He kissed the top of her head, his fingers threading gently through her hair. “I love you, too,” he said, holding her tightly, as if he’d never let her go. “Happy birthday, love.”
She pulled back from his embrace just enough to look up at him, her eyes shining with warmth and gratitude. Oscar met her gaze, his hand lifting to brush a stray tear from her cheek, his fingers lingering softly on her skin. And then, without a word, he leaned in, closing the distance between them as his lips met hers in a slow, tender kiss.
It was soft at first, a gentle, lingering touch filled with all the emotion of the night. But then his hand slid up to the back of her neck, pulling her just a little closer, and the kiss deepened, becoming something more—a quiet, passionate promise that said everything words couldn’t. Her fingers tangled in his hair, holding him close as she poured every bit of her love and gratitude into that moment, feeling his warmth surround her, grounding her in a way that only he could.
When they finally pulled back, breathless but smiling, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, pressing one last soft kiss to her forehead. “Alright,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “Let me run you a bath. You’ve had a long day, and you deserve to relax.”
But she shook her head, her hand slipping into his as she gave him a gentle smile. “No, not now,” she whispered, and he paused, a look of confusion crossing his face.
“Are you sure?” he asked, tilting his head, his thumb brushing the back of her hand.
She smiled softly, tugging him gently toward the bed. “I just want to cuddle,” she said, her voice a quiet, warm confession.
Understanding dawned in his eyes, and his expression softened as he nodded, his lips curving into a smile. Oscar climbed into bed with her, pulling the covers over them both as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She snuggled into his chest, her head resting just over his heart, listening to its steady, comforting rhythm as his hands traced soft patterns along her back.
They lay together in the quiet, wrapped up in each other, their legs tangled and their breaths in sync. He held her with a gentle strength, his fingers weaving through her hair as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It was perfect, this quiet intimacy, as they sank deeper into each other’s warmth, finding solace in the simple, tender closeness.
“I don’t need anything else,” she murmured, her voice muffled against his chest. “Just this.”
Oscar tightened his hold on her, his lips brushing her temple. “Then this is exactly what we’ll do,” he whispered.
the end.
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togeblurbs · 3 months ago
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Do You Miss Us?
Five Hargreeves x F!Reader - angst with a happy ending (yeah… happy ish ending)
synopsis: when you find out Five and Lila kissed, you don’t know what to feel. All you know is that you need to get away. Because it was one thing for them to kiss, and another to realize that in the time spent apart, Five Hargreeves may not love you anymore.
content/warnings: hints of anxiety, curse words, cheating, s4 spoilers, mentions of disassociation, morally grey characters, not lore accurate, not really canon, doesn’t focus on the plot moreso reader & fives relationship, lmk if i forgot anything
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“Y/n, please,”
you continue walking, wiping away the incessant tears that stream down your face. you feel nauseas, and your chest hurts in a way that it pains you to breathe.
he catches your wrist in his hand, and you turn around, angered. “What? What could you possibly say that would make this better, Five?”
he looks distraught, if not more than you and the thought has your hands shaking in fury. for what reason did he have to be so upset? you weren’t the one who disappeared for a few hours - which ended up being seven years - and then kissed another person.
“I fucked up, I didn’t… You don’t understand, I was losing my mind.” he slips his hand from your wrist to intertwine your fingers, but you shake his grip off in disgust. he looks at you so brokenly at the action, you almost feel bad.
but then you remember her, and you feel the bile rise to your throat once more. “I don’t understand?” you say slowly, taking a step forward.
you point at him, “I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand. I knew some shit was going on between you two, with your secrets and odd glances. But I trusted you, Five. You know why?”
he looks at you with wide eyes, seeming almost unsettled by your outburst. “Because I loved you.” you whisper.
you huff out a laugh, shaking your head as you wipe the remnants of your tears. “But that didn’t matter in the end. You were alone with her for seven years, so it makes sense. I wish you nothing but happiness, Five. Even if it’s away from me.”
you turn, moving to walk again, but he crashes into you from behind and wraps his arms around you. “Please,” his hands are trembling where they rest on your stomach, and although you want to soothe him, you don’t think you are in the place to at the moment.
you take a shaky deep breath, before carefully untangling his hands from your torso. he whimpers pitifully at the action, and you have to stop yourself from giving in and drawing him closer.
you used to bring him comfort, give him love and make him feel safe; but it seemed it was not enough; because in the end he chose someone else.
you turn back around, “I need some time alone right now, Five.” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, ripping the skin. you don’t want to look at his face, so you choose to stare at the chipped paint on the wall.
Five lifts his hand for a moment, before dropping it. “Will you come back?” his voice has never sounded so childlike; as though he can’t bear the thought of you leaving and never coming back.
you swallow harshly, “I’ll come back.”
he nods, his own arms wrapping around himself.
“I just don’t know if it will be for you.”
you take a chance and glance at his face, hating the way your heart hurts when his expression crumples.
back in the room, you were so sure he was in love with Lila, but now you’re starting to doubt yourself. because if he truly felt something for her, would he really be crying in front of you right now?
you don’t know. you also don’t feel like you have it in you to make any assumptions.
you turn around, your back facing Five. “I’ll see you later. Don’t follow me.”
and with that, you walk out of Five’s life, unknowingly carrying his heart with you.
-
Five lays in a bed - not his, for years it’s never been his - and recounts the last seven years.
he remembers missing you immensely in the beginning. for the first three years, you were all he could think about.
and then his friendship with Lila began to grow. the time he wished to spend with you, he was now spending with her. it was odd at first, because the two were not close friends of any sort. but when you’re trapped in a different time-line, or different universe, you become allies with those you normally wouldn’t.
somewhere along the way, they had provided one another with the comfort they lacked from their significant others.
it wasn’t supposed to end up that way. it wasn’t.
but now Five can’t get the way you looked at him out of his head; it was like he physically shot you in the chest, or told you he didn’t love you. like he betrayed you.
he grasps at his own chest, curling up into a ball beneath the covers. he feels like he’s going to die.
and maybe that would be for the best. he’s lived a long, torturous life. with a nut-job for a father, siblings that were always thinking about themselves and a lover who he’d ruined everything with, what was the point of life anymore?
its been a month since Five had seen you, and the ache in his chest has yet to go away. he couldn’t find it in himself to eat, often laying in bed as Luther force-fed food down his throat in fear that he would truly pass away.
it’s just another late night, and Five takes the time to stare at the broken glass window as the sun begins to set. the only sound in the room comes from the clock, the constant ticks helping him disassociate and think about you.
he distantly hears the door creak open, but is too exhausted to look at who it is. he doesn’t really care anyway, because he knows it’s not going to be you.
“Five?”
he blinks slowly. it almost sounded like you, but he figured he was hearing things at this point.
“Five,” he feels a hand smooth over his shoulder. gentle in a way he’d only ever experienced with you. his head turns, if only slightly, and he catches sight of your concerned face.
his eyes widen, he forces himself to sit up even if his arms have little to no strength left. “What are you… what are you doing here?” he croaks.
you sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. it’s far too away from Five, he wants to pull you in the bed and bring you into his arms.
“Should I leave?” you glance at the door for a second, but Five immediately grabs onto your hands and shouts, “No! No, please. Please stay.”
you look shocked at his outburst, nodding softly.
the silence in the room is deafening, but Five is merely happy you’re there. Seven years and then some apart from you was not easy, and after his last conversation with you, he knows he’ll feel unsettled until he makes it right. if he can make it right.
“I did some thinking.” you start, cautious.
Five watches you with fear, scared to hear your next words.
“I’m not angry anymore. I understand you went through a lot being trapped again, and I can’t blame you for falling in love with Lila since she was there for you. I do wish you broke it off with me before kissing her, but what’s done is done.”
your voice comes out stable, like you’ve thought it all through and are content to leave things as they are. but Five is shaking his head the moment you say the word love and Lila in the same sentence, because that could not be more far from the truth.
“Wait, please stop it,” he begs, seeming desperate.
“I understand why you might think that way, but I do not love Lila.” he feels lighter with the words being spoken. he’s been aching to clarify this the moment you found out they kissed, but hasn’t had the chance.
your brows furrow, and you pick at the cotton sleeve of your hoodie. “Um, I see.” you look so confused, he can’t help but move closer to you.
you look at him, body rigid. you don’t seem comfortable around him anymore, and the thought has him clutching his chest in pain.
“Y/n, I love you.”
you recoil immediately, and it prompts Five to reach out instinctively.
the words tumble out of his mouth, like he’s scared you’re going to run before he can finish getting everything out. “I haven’t stopped loving you, Lila and I.. when we, you know, it was a moment of weakness after losing you and being trapped again. I wished every day that I could see you, but I was stuck.”
you move to stand, and a part of Five’s heart breaks for what he thinks will be the last time ever. because if you walk out of this room, he knows he won’t be able to love again. you are it for him, and if he doesn’t have you, then he’d rather stay alone for the rest of his life.
“I’m sorry, I truly am. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, but I need you to know that I love you.”
at the end of his little speech he breathes out, listening to his heart thump loudly in his ears.
it’s odd, he thinks. love has always been so painful, so destructive. but with you it was simple. it was calm, steady and soft. he wonders; he hopes, that he’ll be able to experience it again. after all, a healthy type of love was rare for his kind.
he watches you walk closer, reaching a hand out and placing it on his cheek. he leans into it, closing his eyes as he missed your touch immensely. you use the other hand to push his hair back, planting a kiss on his forehead.
his eyes shoot open at the feeling, and he stares at you in wonder. he begins to feel hope bubble in his chest.
“You love me?” you ask quietly.
he nods, “Only you. Only ever you.”
you exhale, shoulders drooping as you move to sit beside him. you wrap an arm around his waist and one on his neck, pulling him down as you lay on the small bed. his head falls to your neck, and he sneaks a small kiss in, hoping you won’t push him away.
“I can’t promise that i’ll forgive you completely. At least not right now. And I’ll probably hate Lila forever, but I don’t think I can walk away from you knowing you love me.”
you run a hand through his hair, feeling him nod into the space between your head and your shoulder. “I know, I completely understand.”
you pat his head gently, staring up at the ceiling.
“I love you too, Five. I don’t think I ever won’t.”
he rubs his face into your neck, and you feel something wet touch it. you card your fingers through his hair once more, cooing.
“Thank you,” his voice comes out shaky, but he hopes you hear the sincerity.
you shift the two of you until you’re underneath the covers, cradling him in your arms with his head on your chest. “Don’t thank me yet. I will be making out with Diego as revenge.”
Five lifts his head, “What?!”
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sorry if this is ooc:>
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ivy-elle · 16 days ago
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Jealousy, Jealousy
Part 1 ft. Scaramouche, Childe, Diluc, Xiao
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Scaramouche
Jealousy?
Tsk. Please.
Don’t flatter yourself.
Do you really think someone like him would ever succumb to a pathetic sentiment such as “jealousy”?
If someone threatens to take what is his, that person simply ceases to exist.
There. Done.
Why would it ever bother him if you’ve found a new friend among his men?
He does not have time for such trivial matters.
He knows that person is not able to make you feel the way Scaramouche does. Not in the slightest.
What can they even offer you?
Time? Attention? A pathetic attempt at making you laugh?
Ridiculous
Just because Scaramouche hasn’t been able to be with you as much as he wanted to, doesn’t mean-
Now they’re pulling you into an embrace? The sheer audacity to do this with him in the room.
Are they truly that desperate?
No, while Scaramouche trusts you not to be foolish enough to embarrass yourself in that way, he has pride and a reputation to maintain.
And right now, his pride is flaming up.
He is seething.
He confronts them when they’re alone and makes things pretty clear.
Have they forgotten who he is?
“Oh, you really think you have a chance? How amusing. Know your place, or should I remind you of it again?.”
Childe
Oh, best believe this man here is protective af
Borderline possessive, even
Yet, he too, has enough faith in you not to taint the honour or your relationship in any way
So, he sometimes allows himself - for his own entertainment of course - to watch from afar as the guy puts his moves on you
Childe delights himself in the way you reject the guy’s antics in your own charming way
But when it becomes clear that the guy isn’t planning on backing off, Childe’s temper flares up, and he’d enrapture in the opportunity to put the dude in his place
Wouldn’t be above straight up making out with you then and there, just to prove his point
Would then proceed to look at the guy with a broad smile, an undeniable menace behind his eyes
“Hey there, comrade. 😄 Mind knocking it off a bit?”
Diluc
His jealousy is more often displayed as annoyance or irritation
But at the same time he maintains his stoic, yet dignified composure
Like during one of his shifts in Angel’s Share, if he notices someone flirting with you at the bar
He respects your independence, and recognises that you are capable of defending yourself and setting your own boundaries
However, that wouldn’t stop him from letting some passive-aggressiveness slip out
May it be if he places the ordered drink just a tad too loudly in front of the man, causing him to jump slightly
Or he might declare that their usual order is out of stock today, only to serve it to the next customer right in front of the man’s eyes
Yet, Diluc would keep a watchful eye on you, ready to intervene if you seemed uncomfortable or silently asking for his help
Xiao
With Xiao, jealousy takes shape in a less conventional manner
It’s neither hot, nor cold. It doesn’t burn, nor does it hurt
Not the way he wished it would at least
Rather when he spots you in merry company with a friend, a companion or a nice chat with a traveller from afar
He is greeted with a deep routed sense of guilt.
Not every time of course, but enough to cause a pit of self-hatred to add to his long list of faults in his character
Over the course of your time together, you have become quite attached to him, you loved him even
A concept he thought to have long forgotten
But your humans’ emotions are blinding you. Clearly. They have to.
While the world is out there, waiting for you to step out, calling your name
You choose to stay by his side
Instead of taking on the freedom he couldn’t gift you, you are now sitting next to him by the river
Your reflections watching him quietly with a smile
No amount of almond tofu you make, could fill the dull ache he feels in the back of his mind when you seem to be so blind to your opportunities, your chances, your life
Instead of staying in a cage he traps you in.
And yet, whenever you set out with your other companions you always return to him.
In the end, he will be the one keeping watch over your sleep in his bed, and you will be the one waiting for him at dusk
“This is no golden cage for me, Xiao. You are the one gifting me my wings.”
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milktiicup · 6 days ago
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H-h-hey.. senpai… I was wondering if you could make more about Mr Crawling! (I LOVEDDD YOUR PREVIOUS FAN FIC ABT HIM) because he’s such a cutie tbh and I love him sm so I was wondering maybe if you could make something about how he would react to the reader spending more time with someone else (coworker preferably!)
Feel free to ignore if you don’t want to do this..!
(Can I be 🦁 anon?)
the jealous type!
His face scrunches. “Not you… smell bad. Someone else.”
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ omg my first anon >.< ofc u can be 🦁 anon!!!!
warnings. more fluff/comfort hehe, spoilers for end04
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It’s late when you return home. If it was any other day, you’d be scheming around the streets with your crowbar- but life is different now. 
You have a commitment at home. Your new roommate… boyfriend? thing. It’s almost as routine as having a pet; coming home, giving him a pat on the head, giving him his completely normal legally obtained soup and ending the day snuggled up on the sofa with him at your feet. 
Sure, he’s the one who came with you all the way from that other world and didn’t have any friends here, but does that mean you can’t? It’s not like you could bring Mr. Crawling with you to work, or after work drinks with your coworkers. Normal people can still see him, after all. He’s just… a little hard for other people to notice- you picked up on that when your parents dropped by on an impromptu visit one evening.
When you kick your shoes off when you come in through the front door, you feel guilty. You can tell he’s a bit down- of course, Mr. Crawling still tackled greeted you with his overzealous, unnecessarily over the top hug. 
“You return!” he says, every time without fail. 
“I return,” you reply, petting his head, but something feels off. He doesn’t let go immediately, and his usual enthusiasm is muted.
Mr. Crawling pauses, his face stuffed into your neck. You quirk a brow, curiously eyeing him as he takes a big sniff of your skin and clothes. His face scrunches. “Not you… smell bad. Someone else.”
Is he the jealous type? Wow, and since when was his sense of smell so good?
“You can smell my friend?” you blink at him, cringing as you feel a knot in your stomach. You try to explain, “Uhm… someone else… uhhhh… my friend.”
“Other friend?” Mr. Crawling frowns, sitting back on his feet, the space between you growing slightly colder.
You pull yourself up from the floor, careful to meet his uncertain gaze. “Other friend,” you confirm.
“Friend… same me?”
You sigh, wishing this language was more descriptive. It’s hard to explain something so complex when neither of you really understands it fully. You tap your fingers nervously against your leg, thinking. “I don’t understand…” you sigh, the weight of the misunderstanding settling on you. “They’re human.”
Mr. Crawling’s frown only grows deeper. He shakes his head, and scoots himself closer to you. He wraps his arms around your waist, his hair falling over the both of you as if trying to shield you from everything outside of your house. “Friend like this?” 
Resting your head on his shoulder, you let out a content sigh. “Not like this, Crawling.”
“You one. You me two. Not like three.” His grip tightens around you, pulling you as close as he possibly can, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “Me like you. Worry… not like me. Gone long time… Smell someone else.”
You pull back slightly, feeling the pressure of his arms around you. He’s not just possessive, he’s scared. You stretch your arms out. “Like you. Big like. See? This much!” You hold your hands closer together, parallel to each other. “Friend ok. Little like. Understand?”
You chuckle lightly, but the soft pang in your chest makes you pause. “You get it now, Crawling?” you mumble. You reach up and scratch his head absently, a familiar gesture that seems to soothe both of you. “Uhm… when I leave, I go to work. You know work, right?” He nuzzles into your palm, and you just assume he does, for the time being. “Work friend! Not important. You important. You, uh… you understand me?”
“Me understand,” he murmurs into your palm, his cool lips tickling the skin. “Smell bad… Me only like you. You smell good."
"I know you like me, Crawling. I like you, too."
He lets out a satisfied hum, his body relaxing again, and for a brief moment, you wonder if he’s truly getting it—or if he just likes the idea of being yours as much as you like the idea of him being yours. He pulls your head closer to his chest, and that’s when you decide you don’t really need to build rapport with your coworkers that much, not when you have a cute ghost waiting for you back at home.
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