#i wish i could live my life without holding my breath till the next terrible thing happens
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shadyteacup · 3 years ago
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Hi! Im the one req 7 for chuuya sorry i didint specified, i just realized it. Can i get angst prompt 7 for chuuya?
Hiya! This pained me to write, so I made it fluffy at the end... sorry if u were looking for pure angst! I can't go to sleep peacefully peacefully after writing angst, I need to clutch my soft toys and cry myself to sleep..
Warnings: Angst to fluff, maybe a swear word at the end.. dw, it's just "bish", but like the actual word.
Word count: 2006 😳yes, I got carried away
Nakahara Chuuya + “Please wake up”
Forewarning
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“Don’t move, Chu.”
You grumbled against his chest. It was yet another lazy morning for the two of you. Lazy mornings consisted of waking up late, cuddling on the bed till lunch time, getting dressed and having dinner at some exotic place, going for a long drive, then coming back home. It was a perfect day for a traditional lazy day, except for the fact it was a weekday.
Chuuya sighed. He had to get to work, and so did you. You both couldn’t afford to miss any workdays, considering that you both worked for the same organization, one that didn’t hesitate to punish for untimely work. Chuuya was an executive, and so were you. You both had multiple solo missions planned out for today and one mission wherein you both had to team up. It was going to be quite a busy day, and Chuuya wanted nothing more than to just get it all over with. He was looking forward to some lazy cuddles in the evening, after both of your jobs were done.
“We have to get dressed, dove.”
He tried reasoning with you. You were a workaholic, just like him. It surprised him to see this lazy side of you. But then again, you must be tired, he thought.
“I know. But let’s bunk today!”
You looked up at him with wide eyes, hoping to convince him.
Chuckling, he pet your head affectionately.
“The mafia isn’t some school that you could just bunk. Besides, don’t you love working?”
You frowned at that. You were feeling weird today. It’s like something was forewarning you. But about what?
“I just have a bad feeling about today. I don’t know why, but I feel like something bad is going to happen.”
He sighed. He was never one to believe I such things. That was why you weren’t telling him until now.
“We work in the mafia. How worse can it get?”
“I suppose you’re right.”
You smiled, getting up to get ready.
....
“The target is in the warehouse.”
Chuuya said to you. You both were currently seated in Chuuya’ s car, parked on a hill. Your stakeout point had a clear view of an abandoned warehouse. Apparently, it was the location where a rival gang was coordinating with some members of the mafia and stealing their goods. You both had already executed the moles and had sent in one of your trusted members as a pretend mole. He would send you both a signal when he felt that the security was the weakest at the entrance. You both would then attack. He was supposed to cause a commotion in there, resulting in majority of the guards to rush inside and leave the entrance wide open for you two. Your men had already sealed all exits to ensure no one got out. Now you were both waiting for the signal.
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”
Chuuya pouted at your jab.
“I was just being thorough!”
“By stating the obvious?”
“You’re so mean.”
“Says the angry redhead.”
“What has my hair got to do with anything?!”
“Your hair has got to do with everything! I-”
A sharp sound was heard. Both you and Chuuya were blinded for a second as white filled your vision. You felt your torso pinch a little. It almost felt like someone was sticking a few needles into your tummy. You heard screams. They sounded frantic. A few moments later, your vision cleared, and you saw yourself floating in the air, a frantic Chuuya saying something to you. It all sounded mangled and mixed up. If you could have laughed at the moment, you would have laughed at how funny he sounded.
The screams had turned to cries, now. You were so confused. Who was crying? And why was Chuuya pressing down on your stomach?
Looking down, you saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. It had completely soaked your shirt. Chuuya was using his ability and his hands to keep it in. He seemed hurried. His eyes were watery, and streams of tears were flowing down his cheeks.
Finally understanding the situation, you realised that you were injured. Looking down at your torso, you saw the two bullet wounds. And now, you finally felt them. The pain was overwhelming. It rushed in like water at the breaking of a dam. It completely filled you up. You now realised that those cries of pain were actually your own. You wished to have never woken from your daze. You wanted to remain oblivious. You wanted the pain to go back to mere pinpricks. It was too much. Succumbing to the enormous pain, you let your eyes shut close. You realised that your body was going to sleep. Maybe for the last time.
....
Chuuya sat in a chair next to your sleeping form. You were lying unconscious on the clean white sheets of the hospital bed. Your entire torso was covered in bandages. You had taken two bullets, one in the side and one right next to your belly button. The doctors were able to save you in time, and it was a matter of time till you gained consciousness.
Chuuya held his face in his hands. The memories of just moments prior to visiting the hospital kept running through his head. He kept seeing flashes of your blood oozing out of your body. He kept remembering the way your eyes had glazed over while he tried to apply pressure on your wounds. There was so much blood. His mere two hands were proving to be inefficient. So, he had activated his ability to push the blood back in. He had no clue if that had helped. He remembered activating his ability the moment you had let out a blood curdling scream. He had levitated you both out of the car and high up in the night sky.
He should have listened to you. Your forewarnings were right. Something terrible had ended up happening. The mole he had sent inside was found murdered by the backup team, and the head of the organization had fled. His men had taken up sniping positions all across the hills. Two of them had shot you at once. He remembered going on a mad spree and pelting boulders at all the men in his sight using his ability right before he flew to the hospital with you in his arms.
“Has she gained consciousness?”, the doctor asked as she peeked in. Chuuya had asked all medical personnel to leave him alone with his sweetheart, a little too passionately, after they were done treating you, and hence the poor doctor was a tad bit scared to check up on your vitals.
Chuuya whipped his head up.
“No.”
The doctor scrunched her brows in worry. Rushing in, she did some tests.
“I’m sorry, sir, but if the patient doesn’t wake up in another hour, we will have to declare a coma condition.”
“What?!”
The doctor jumped at his outburst, but answered him, nonetheless.
“The body is behaving as if it is already in coma. This can also be because it is repairing itself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be coma.”
She sighed.
“But, if the patient retains this state of unconsciousness, we will have to rule out a natural healing process. I suggest you try to communicate with the patient. Sit close, hold hands, maintain physical contact. Try speaking. That way, maybe the body will react to a familiar scent, touch or voice, and gain consciousness.”
Chuuya gulped, worried, and nodded.
“I understand.”
He shakily made his way to your face, observing your serene features. He hesitantly put your hair behind your ear, breathing unsteadily. He felt immense guilt and anger. He was guilty of not paying your uneasiness an ear, and he was angry because he couldn’t save you. If only he had been more vigilant, more aware of his surroundings, he would have been able to smell a rat.
“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have been able to protect you.”
He gasped inaudibly, trying to keep his sobs in. He couldn’t stop the tears. They flowed freely down his cheeks, a symbol of his immense fear of losing you. He couldn’t bear the idea of loosing you. It might be selfish of him, but he wanted you to live, because God-forbid, if you didn’t, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He knew that if such a devastating situation ever occurred, he would lose all sanity and go mad. He would lose his mental balance and completely fall off the edge. He couldn’t bear to be separated from you for two days, forget the rest of his lifetime.
He caressed your cheek, smiling bitterly at your sleeping form. Nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, he let himself truly cry. He let out all his emotions into your hair. He found comfort in your warmth. He has always felt the safest in your embrace. That’s where he could truly be himself.
He didn’t realise how long it had been when he began talking to you. Telling you how much he loved you and how he couldn’t live without you. He pondered on how he would take his life if you left him.
“I’d have to go to that stupid mackerel for guidance. But then again, he has been unsuccessful in killing himself for 22 years. He’s probably the worst suicidal guy out there.”
He was lying next to you now, cradling your frail form in his arms.
The doctor waltzed in, a serious and sorrowful expression straining her pretty features.
“Nakahara-san, I’m so sorry.”
Chuuya gritted his teeth, holding onto you tighter.
“No! There’s still a chance that-”
“Its hopeless. The patient has already been in this state for 16 hours.”
“16 hours?”
The doctor smiled sympathetically.
“I gave you a lot more time. I thought maybe the constant contact would help. But sadly, it’s out of our hands now.”
Chuuya sat up, holding your face in his large palms.
“Wake up! Wake up, damnit!”
He shook you gently, desperate to get any kind of reaction out of you.
“Nakahara-san! Please get away from the patient! You mustn’t cause any harm! Security?!”
The doctor rushed forward to pull Chuuya off of you, but he held onto you. He grabbed your arms, looping his own around them and pulling you towards him.
“Wake up!”
He rested his face on your chest, sobs escaping him.
“Please... please wake up...”
The doctor reached forward to clasp his shoulder, trying to pry him off of you.
A large gasp followed by couple of coughs were heard.
You took in a large breath, trying to swallow. Your throat was dry and scratchy.
“Y/N!”
Looking up, you saw Chuuya holding you in his arms, a relieved and surprised expression on his elegant features.
“Hey.”
Your voice sounded raspy, but it was music to his ears.
He engulfed you in a hug, one that knocked the air out of your lungs.
“She’s still a patient!”
The doctor reprimanded as the security guards pulled Chuuya off of you.
You smiled at the tiny ginger.
“I’m alive, Chu. Stop being dramatic.”
Chuuya laughed at your carefree attitude. He didn’t resist the men as they pulled him out of the room. He was relieved to see you awake. He didn’t care about anything else. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up.
“Call Gin and tell her that I’m not dead!”
“You don’t need to call me, idiot. I was waiting right outside.”
You smiled as she walked in, giving you a hug.
“Why does she get to go in but not me?!”
Chuuya whined.
“Hey Gin, guess what?”
Gin smiled at you, sitting at the edge of your bed at the nurses did their check-ups.
“What?”
“I’m alive, bitch!”
Your snickers could be heard till the hallway, where the rest of your friends were seated. Shaking his head, Tachihara snickered.
“Good ol’ Y/N.”
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yandere-mha · 4 years ago
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How would Yandere Dabi react fo Y/N protecting him? Let's put a scenario that Y/N is a villian but protected of the League of Villians. She is sweet to Toga, takes care of Spinner, jokingly annoys Shigaraki only when he is in a good mood, and make sure everyone is alright. Y/N gives out motherly vibes where Toga jokes around of Y/N being a mom. Dabi catching feelings next he is fighting a hero. He got badly injured and Y/N step in protecting him. Taking a few blows for Dabi and killing the hero. Y/N helps Dabi to get up and says, "You got to stop being so reckless. I want to protect you but you keep throwing yourself in danger. "
Ughhhh I love this request so much. I really hope you like this and that my writing is worthy of your genius brain 🙏
TW: ABUSE MENTION, KIDNAPPING, VIOLENCE, BLOOD MENTION, MENTAL ILLNESS.
MAJOR BNHA MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.
READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
Toya was numb. His whole world was bleak, meaningless, and utterly isolated. He had no family, ambitions, or sense of self. No one cared about him or any of the terrible things that had been done to him and he didn’t care as well. There was nothing. He didn’t care about anyone else either. Whether he lived or died didn’t matter because he just existed. He may as well be dead, according to his family who had moved on. There was no justice. There was no love. There was no identity. His identity was to be the number one hero, but that had been ripped from him long ago. Toya was too tired to care.
Dabi was angry. Sometimes he became so angry and violent that he would scare himself. He would feel everything at once to the point where he couldn’t breathe. He mourned over the death of his purpose in life and over the death of the plucky little kid who would never give up. He wasn’t that kid anymore and he didn’t like what he’d become. Dabi wasn’t really him though... Dabi was Endeavor. Endeavor made him and he wants more than anything to make him see the consequences of his actions since his family didn’t care enough about him to do that themselves. Why did they forget me? Did I not even mean anything to them alive? He’ll make them pay too. He’s found a new identity and he couldn’t be more happy
You... were warm. When he looked at your beautiful face he felt as if he should look away because he didn’t deserve to see you. He wished you couldn’t see him, yet he craved for you to just look at him. You filled a void within Toya and suddenly he wasn’t so lonely anymore. How could you love someone who wasn’t even a person? Maybe he really was a person. You were so perfect... it pissed Dabi off. You reminded Dabi that he would never be good enough for that kind of love. He would always be second and he was just waiting for the moment you’d replace him with someone else. You’d forget about him just like his family did. You scared him but he couldn’t stay away. Life was unbearable without you. How could you make him feel that way? Hasn’t he already been through enough? You shouldn’t play with people’s feelings, ya know...
What was really cruel was how much you must love to toy with him. You knew how much he needed you - ALL of you, and yet you looked at other people too. He never told you about his feelings but why should he have to when he knew that you knew. You knew of how much pain you were causing him and you didn’t care. Why must everyone treat him like this? He knew there were no good people in the world and yet he let himself fall for you. How pathetic. How weak. He needed to show you what happens when you cross him. He’s tried of being weak and you make him look like some love-sick fool.
When you sacrificed yourself for him, all he could do was laugh. He screamed in pain as he laughed until he felt his face fall apart and his lungs felt like they were about to fall out of his body. It was funny how fucking desperate you were to hurt him that you’d actually hurt yourself like this. What the fuck would he do if he lost you, huh? Who would he be after you were gone? He clamped his hands over your battered form as tightly as he could screaming in your face in the way an animal would scream after being shot. He knew his face was bleeding all over you, mixing with your own blood. It made his heart flutter being so close to you.
After scanning your dumbfounded face, his laughter began to die down and he affectionately swiped a loose strand of hair out of your face to get a better look at you. He really was a tool, huh? He can’t be mad at you for long. You were his wife after all even if you pretended not to know that and he’d be there to protect you no matter how much you piss him off sometimes. Your love truly was written in the stars and no matter what happened, you would always end up together - till death do you part. He remembered all the times he’d dreamed about having a wife as a child and he smiled softly. He was flattered that anyone would care enough about him to do something like this even if it was to hurt him. You must hate him and love him too. 
“You gotta stop being so reckless. I want to protect you but you keep throwing yourself into danger like some fucking dumbass. If you really want my attention so bad, you should have just said so.” 
That was fun and all, but he can’t have you doing that again. You’re gonna be at his place for a long time and he’ll make sure to think of a proper punishment for you too. You have to learn your lesson and hold yourself accountable.
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sanjisock · 3 years ago
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more than words
50 words; 50 sentences
ao3
#01 - Motion
A spinning kick, a swing of blade — the two meet and hit but don’t hurt, and Nami sighs exasperatedly at such a pathetic display of a mating dance.
#02 - Cool
Zoro stands his ground as his enemy — finally, finally — falls unceremoniously on his back, unconscious, and Sanji thinks for a moment that the sight of Zoro — wild and victorious and ready to take on the world — looks kind of, maybe, slightly cool.
  #03 - Young
Brook sees the two — dying to die for each other, the weight of their friends’ lives pulling down their shoulders — and he thinks too many people forget how young they still are.
  #04 - Last
The Cook is the last person Zoro would consider lending a hand in a fight — “who would want to work together with that dumbass anyway,” he lies whenever anyone asks, and doesn’t admit that it’s because he trusts Sanji’s ability to stand his ground, wholly and fully.
  #05 - Wrong
Sanji knows Zoro, like him, understands better than most — that this nakama thing isn’t just something you’d die for, but something you’d kill for, too.
  #06 - Gentle
Sanji manages to catch Kitetsu before it rolls off from the deck during a storm, and in that moment, Zoro knows, from the reverent way he regards the swords in his hands, that this isn’t the first time the Cook has wielded one.
  #07 - One
“Calm down, Marimo,” Sanji says with a dismissive wave of his hand when Zoro asks about the sword a few days later, “I’m not about to take your place as the ship’s swordsman; a cook doesn’t use his hands to fight, and I had a terrible teacher anyways.”
  #08 - Thousand
“I’m worth two thousand men,” Zoro grumpily says, almost sulking, and Nami can’t resist patting his head like she would to a little boy pulling the pigtail of a girl he has a crush on.
  #09 - King
You’re like the prince of Dumbass Kingdom, Zoro says, and it takes Sanji everything in him not to blurt out, Dumbass Kingdom sounds about right; wait ‘till you see the fucking king.
  #10 - Learn
Watching Sanji converse fluently with a couple of tourists in a Northern language, Zoro wonders when he will ever stop learning something new about Sanji — or if he ever will, at all.
  #11 - Blur
When Zoro finally comes to, the wounds from Bartholomeow Kuma is muted by Chopper’s medicine, a dull throb at the back of his consciousness; but the sharp pain against his heart feels raw still, visceral and razor-sharp, tucked alongside the ache of Sanji’s sacrifice.
#12 - Wait
“Wait,” he manages to croak out before Sanji flees the room, the word spilling out unbidden; he isn’t quite sure why, but he knows that he wants the Cook to stay.
  #13 - Change
“Have some fucking decency ,” Sanji yells, throwing a shirt at Zoro’s direction; the brute has been walking around the ship bare-chested like an eyesore ever since they entered the summer island, and Sanji is just trying to do everyone a favor — and definitely not because there’s a different kind of heat pooling at the pit of his stomach.
#14 - Command
Robin watches the two in amusement — Zoro could have easily refused to be Sanji’s pack mule, and she can hear him grumbling about it still; and yet, here they are, once again, together at the island’s marketplace.
#15 - Hold
Sanji is rough around the edges, bristling at the slightest touch; Zoro knows he needs to be gentle, but he doesn’t quite remember the last time he held something that isn’t a hilt of a sword, without meaning to hurt . It’s a learning curve. 
  #16 - Need
Sanji knows Zoro is a dumbass, but it takes a special kind of stupid to think he would never be good enough for Sanji, when he’s all that Sanji has ever needed.
#17 - Vision
Zoro never regrets losing his eye, but he wishes, sometimes, he could still take in the sight of Sanji with an unimpaired vision, just to see more of him.
  #18 - Attention
“You’re starting a fight, Marimo?” Sanji growls, voice low and dangerous, and Zoro thinks, yes, yes, anything to get you to look at me.
  #19 - Soul
He loves the kid like a brother, but sometimes Zoro hates how Luffy can easily see past his gruff words and feigned ignorance; the way Luffy only needs to take one look at him to guess, “you’re worried about Sanji, aren’t you?”
  #20 - Picture
He carries around everyone’s bounty posters, Sanji tells himself, and tries not to think too hard about how the only one he kept in his breast pocket is Zoro’s, folded neatly against his heart.
  #21 - Fool
“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done so far,” Sanji says when they part, lips still tingling from their earlier kiss, because Zoro’s love is fierce and consuming and Sanji knows, ever since he was just a kid with the iron mask, that he doesn’t deserve any of this.
  #22 - Mad
“Don’t you ever say that kind of shit again,” Zoro snarls, slamming the wall beside Sanji’s head, his voice trembling with a kind of anger Sanji has never seen him with before — frustrated, desperate. “You’re important to me, Cook.” 
  #23 - Child
Grow up and cast your dreams away, Sanji tells himself every day, the voice ringing in his ears; you stopped being a child deserving of a dream the moment you chained Zeff down to the ground.
  #24 - Now
Grow up and cast your dreams away, Sanji wants to tell himself, but the voice stutters, drowned out by the sight of the kid bleeding on the deck of Baratie — he’s a swordsman, too, acknowledged by none other than Dracule Mihawk himself — but a kid still, throwing himself headfirst towards the case of his dreams, steps unweighted by regrets.
  #25 - Shadow
Zoro doesn’t know which is worse — Sanji, forever running away from the shadow his brothers cast; or Zoro, chasing after someone who is no longer around to leave behind a shadow anymore.
  #26 - Goodbye
After Whole Cake Island, there’s a period of time where Zoro would follow Sanji around the ship like a lost puppy, unwilling to let the Cook out of his sight; Usopp definitely didn’t expect Zoro to have such a cute side, and crouches over his new invention to hide his smile.
  #27 - Hide
“We’re not doing that here,” Sanji hisses, and forces himself not to laugh at the pout on Zoro’s face; the galley might be secluded enough, but they’re still on the enemy ship’s galley.
  #28 - Fortune
It is annoying, the way Sanji keeps reminding Zoro that he could have collected Mihawk’s bounty and lived the rest of his life in wealth; especially when Zoro would trade any riches in the world just to stay by the Cook’s side.
  #29 - Safe
It catches Zoro off guard when Sanji starts talking about his mother; it’s a short anecdote, a single happy memory, but Zoro can tell by the way Sanji tells it — guarded and hesitant, like he wants to keep the words close and safe — that he has never shared it with anyone else before.
  #30 - Ghost
Usopp starts shaking like a leaf as soon as they enter the abandoned, dilapidated house, and Sanji gently tells him, sometimes the worst ghost is the one you create yourself; Zoro feels the weight of Wado on his hip, and agrees.
  #31 - Book
“I don’t need this,” Zoro grumbles with a blush, pushing the book back into Nami’s hands, trying hard to ignore Nami’s laughter and the words ROMANCE FOR DUMMIES emblazoned on the book’s jacket.
  #32 - Eye
Shusui sinks into the man’s stomach, all the way to the hilt, and Zoro thinks of the way Sanji curled into himself as the man landed a lucky hit on the cook’s hand. An eye for an eye.
  #33 - Never
“This is my first time,” Zoro whispers, head ducking away as he feels his face flush at the admission; but Sanji’s hand rests on his cheek, encouraging, and he can feel the curve of Sanji’s smile as their lips meet and Sanji replies, “it’s mine, too.”
  #34 - Sing
Luffy cheers when Zoro and Sanji comes into view, and he lets them take on the next batch of enemies; a good fight is always fun, but watching Zoro and Sanji fight is even more so — like watching a dance that only those two know the melody to.
  #35 - Sudden
“What, are we supposed to be surprised?” Nami says, barely looking up from the map she’s working on; Sanji sputters, face redder than the tomatoes he served during breakfast, and Nami feels almost bad for him.
  #36 - Stop
“But we — Zoro and I — how did you know?” Sanji asks, and promptly stops asking questions when he realizes the rest of the crew aren’t surprised either; who could blame them, when his and Zoro’s sexual tension can be seen from a mile away.
  #37 - Time
Sanji knows they have to break apart soon, just to breathe, but right now all he cares about is to taste as much of Zoro as possible — he has waited two years for this, and it has been two years too long.
  #38 - Wash
They have their fair share of fighting — and how, considering the amount of repairs Usopp has to do for Merry just from their petty fights alone — but what the crew doesn’t know is that they also have this thing, this quiet thing, just him and the Cook and a stack of dirty plates between them.
  #39 - Torn
“In retrospect,” Robin observes, “dressing up our dear cook in a maid uniform would not only lower the enemy’s firepower, but also ours, considering how distracted our swordsman has clearly become.”
  #40 - History
“Why do you keep him around, mister?” The kid asks, pointing at the old swordsman with three swords and an eye scar by the peer; Sanji laughs, pats the kid on the head, and says, almost wistfully — “you can say we have some history.”
  #41 - Power
Sanji tugs at Zoro’s sleeve, and Zoro follows suit despite his complaints — Sanji thinks, distantly, how much of an honor it is, to have so much control over such a powerful man.
  #42 - Bother
“I didn’t have enough time to make this three-tier ice cream cake for our lovely Nami-san and Robin-chan because you distracted me!” Sanji says with a hard jab of a finger against Zoro’s chest, and Zoro thinks, good .
  #43 - God
Zoro does not believe in gods, but there’s a hymn of a noise when Zoro presses his lips against the crook of Sanji’s neck, the hallelujah of the world breaking apart as their bodies move together, and he thinks, close enough .
  #44 - Wall
 Zoro slams his fist into the wall of Polar Tang, and is taken aback by the depth of his own frustration; he knows Luffy and the others will get Sanji back from Big Mom’s place, but it unsettles him still, the way Sanji hides himself under layers of pretenses when Zoro has bared so much of himself to the Cook in return.
  #45 - Naked
“What the fuck was that for , Mosshead?!” Sanji shrieks, justifiably furious, leg raised and on fire after Zoro sliced his tray into two without preamble; Zoro can’t exactly tell the Cook he did it because he was too surprised at the sight of Sanji in a swimming trunk and nothing else.
  #46 - Drive
Why Zoro , people sometimes ask, but the answer is easy to Sanji — nobody drives him crazy the way Zoro does, and is that not what true love feels like?
  #47 - Harm
Zoro knows Sanji will be furious ; but as he faces Kuma, knowing at least the Cook is out of harm’s way, he knows he would do this a hundred times over, a thousand times over, a million times over.
  #48 - Precious
Sanji is sitting by the corner of the infirmary, face pale with red-rimmed eyes, and Zoro thinks he’s never had that, before — people who would weep for him, knowing that he is more than dried scars and calloused skin.
  #49 - Hunger
This thing we have is dangerous, Sanji tells him, but Zoro doesn’t care — he already has a craving, the same way he needs a booze when it’s been too long, except he thinks that this vice will surely kill him.
  #50 - Believe
This isn’t faith; this is the truth, Zoro’s truth, the same way he knows he will become the Greatest — Sanji will find that elusive sea of his, and Zoro will stay with him until it is the last thing he can do.
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago
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Serendipity - Part V. (Harry Styles)
a/n: so this is it, this is the end of the story of Lis and Harry! if you are still reading this thank you for sticking around till the end and an even bigger thank you to those of you who took the time and energy to send me their thoughts about the story!! i hope you liked it, and if you’d like, pls come talk to me about the story, my askbox is wide open!!
pairing: Harry x OC (Annalise Lloyd)
word count: 13.9k
SERIES MASTERPOST  ⚫️ my masterlist  ⚫️  come and talk to me about Serendipity!  
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Serendipity (n.) Finding something good without looking for it.
Lis decides not to change their plans and let Benji stay at her parents’ for the next week as well, giving her and Harry some more alone time that they surely use to the last bit. These two weeks are enough to make him think about a possible, preferably near future when they get to spend every day together like this, where he can come home to her already cooking something or just lounging on the couch, when they don’t have to pack overnight bags whenever they want to spend the night together.
He can only hope Lis is feeling the same way about them, because now he is determined to make it a reality.
The next few weeks go over their head faster than they could realize. Benji spends some time home before he leaves for a week of camping, something he has been so excited about, rambling about it every possible given time.
Though Harry would love to spend that week again with Lis, but it’s painfully interrupted with a trip to LA he just can’t put away. His new album is debuting in August and tour will kick off in October, things are starting to pile up and he can’t get everything done from London, no matter how badly he would want that.
He has been torn, with the tour slowly but surely coming up, because part of him can’t wait to get back to performing, but another part is breaking for how he won’t be able to see Lis or Benji whenever he wants to. He wishes they could just come with him, but he knows it’s not possible.
He tried his best to mess around with the dates so he can come back to London as much as possible and at the end he managed to give himself three to five days off every three weeks to fly home. They talked through it all, several times, bracing themselves already for the times that were about to come.
Harry is at rehearsals this one day when oddly, Lis shows up there, something she has never done before, that’s how Harry knows something is up. Calling for a quick break he leaves the room with her, worried what it could be.
“Hey, everything alright? You’re not picking Benji up today?” he asks, knowing well at this time she should already be at the school.
“Chloé offered to do it for me. Harry, sorry for coming here, I just… I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to talk to you about it.”
“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he tells her and taking her hands he pulls her to the small sofa in the corner so they can sit and talk. She is clearly upset and it’s starting to trigger Harry as well.
“I, uhh—I don’t know how to start it so I’ll just get straight to the point. Austin showed up at my work today.”
Harry’s breath gets caught in his throat at the mention of the name. He just put the whole Austin situation behind him, the thought was stuck on his mind for way too long and now that he was finally moving on, the dude showed up. He needs everything in him to calmly nod and encourage her to continue.
“He-He just… walked in. I swear I didn’t know anything about it, I was so shocked a-and I didn’t know what to do—Harry I—“
“Lis, calm down, alright? I know you didn’t know about it. Just tell me what happened, because I don’t know how much longer I can sit here left in the dark.”
“Right, yeah, sorry,” she breathes out rubbing her face with one hand. “He said he wanted to talk and I was just about to leave for lunch, so he asked if he could join me. I didn’t want to go anywhere with him so we ended up just sitting at the back terrace. I was so panicked and scared and couldn’t even say a word for a while, because he looked so… different.” “Different as in how?”
“Like… looking back I can tell he was in a bad shape when we were still together and it turns out I was right, because he admitted to being a drug addict. But now he was like, this new person. He said he has been clean for two years now and he wanted to find me because his therapist suggested to reach out and try to make up for his past mistakes.”
While Harry’s hands are holding hers, his eyes now move to the floor ahead of him, trying to process all the new information that’s been thrown at him.
“When I finally recovered from the shock of seeing him my anger kind of took over and called him all these terrible things, shamed him for leaving his son and all that and he just… sat there. And at the end he said that I’m right and that he understands that I feel this way about him. He said that he’s been thinking about what he did a lot and he asked me if we could meet sometime when it’s not just my lunchtime, to talk.”
“Talk about what?” Harry asks with a frown.
“He… He said he wants to meet Benji,” Lis answers in a whisper. Harry’s eyes snap back to her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He was not ready for this and he can tell Lis feels the same way.
“What did you tell him?”
“I said that I need to think about it. He left me his number and I told him I would contact him when I have decided.”
“How did he take it? I mean, I assume he wanted you to say yes right away…”
“He seemed to understand my decision. He said he completely agrees if I don’t want to let him see Benji ever again. This was so not like him, I was afraid he would snap, like he used to when we were younger, but he didn’t. He seemed like he really went through hell since I last saw him and he is just happy to… still be alive.”
Harry falls silent, not entirely sure what to think about the appearance of Benji’s father all of a sudden, confessing to be an ex drug addict and kind of apologizing for his mistakes before telling Lis that he wants to meet Benji. It’s a little too much all at once and the more time that passes without him talking, the more he is worrying Lis.
“Harry, please say something,” she breathes out her plea.
“I, uhh—Sorry, I’m just a little… overwhelmed I guess.”
“Are you mad?” she asks in panic.
“Mad? At you? Why would I be?”
“I don’t know, sorry, it’s just been a… long and tiring day for me,” she breathes out, leaning back on the sofa, her eyes closing for a few seconds.
“It’s a lot, yes. So why don’t we talk about this when I’m done here? I can’t keep up the guys too long. I can come over to yours when I’m done, yea?”
“But you said you had some stuff to work on tonight.”
“I can push that back, not a problem. Just go, get Benji from Chloé’s, drink a tea at home and I’ll be there by seven, alright?”
Lis nods as the two of them stand up. Harry pulls her into his arms, kissing the top of her head as she hugs his waist tightly.
“Sorry to interrupt your rehearsal,” she mumbles against his chest.
“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”
She pushes herself up to her tippy toes and captures his lips in a sweet kiss, something she’s been aching to do all day, or at least since her encounter with Austin earlier.
“I love you,” she mumbles against his lips and those three little words instantly make him feel some kind of relief in the midst of this craziness.
“I love you too,” he smiles at her, pecking her lips gently before letting go of her and watching her walk out with one last, shy wave.
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Hours later, Harry finally arrives to Annalise’s and as he lets himself in with the keys she has given him weeks ago, Benji launches in his way right away from the little pile of toys on the living room carpet.
“Harry! Harry!” The little boy smashes against his lower body, wrapping his arms around him, making his heart flutter. No matter how long or tiring his day was, being around him always makes it better.
“Hey, bud! How has school been?” he asks and leaning down he picks Benji up into his arm, holding him steadily against the side of his chest.
“Cool, we played basketball today! I don’t like it as much as football, but it’s pretty good.”
“Great,” he nods smiling. “Hi Chloé!” Harry calls out when he spots the woman sitting on the couch.
“Hi, how have you been?” she asks smiling warmly. The two of them have met earlier the summer, Chloé had been dying to meet him, especially after she started to see how much Lis has bloomed thanks to the man. They hit it off right away, but they didn’t expect anything less, since they are both so important in Annalise’s life and just want the best for her.
“Great, a little busy, but everything is alright,” he nods. “You?”
“Same, just working my ass off,” she huffs.
“Where’s Lis?”
“Shower. Told her to have a hot one, she was stressing way too much.”
“So she told you?”
“Yeah,” Chloé nods shortly, not wanting to talk about anything while Benji is present.
When Lis appears from upstairs she is wearing a hoodie and cotton shorts, her hair still wet, looking tired just like earlier, but looks a tad bit more relaxed thanks to the shower.
“Hey baby!” she smiles kissing him softly.
“Hey, feeling better?” he asks, rubbing her back gently.
“Kind of.”
“Alright, I’ll head out now. Call me whenever, alright?” Chloé tells, hugging her goodbye, doing the same with Harry as well.
“Thank you for today,” Lis tells her walking her to the door.
“Anytime. Good night, guys!” she calls out, Benji shouts her bye after her and then it’s just the three of them again.
Nothing is said about Austin until Benji is put to bed. When Lis closes his room’s door and walks into the living room, Harry is sitting there, the TV is off and he is staring ahead of him, deep in his thoughts.
“Hey,” she softly says, cuddling to his side on the couch, his arm instantly curling around her shoulders.
“Benji is knocked out?” he smiles softly and she nods. “Alright.”
There’s a short silence, neither of them knows how to address the situation, how to start the conversation that has to be brought up.
“So…” he quietly starts. “I assume you’ve been thinking about what Austin asked you.” “Haven’t really stopped thinking about it,” she sighs, pushing herself up so she can look into his eyes as they talk.
“And where did you end up?”
“I… don’t know, Harry,” she sighs in defeat. Though it’s a torturous situation, Harry knows he needs to be mature and reasonable, keep his jealousy far away, because it’s way more than just that.
“What are the things that make you want to say no to him?”
“If I let him meet Benji, I can’t have him do the same thing and disappear. Benji will remember it, unlike last time. I can’t risk him having such a major trauma.” Harry nods at her words.
“And do you think he’ll leave again?”
“Honestly?” she asks quietly and Harry nods again. “I feel like he was genuine. But that could mean nothing, I’m not naïve enough to think that I know him. Maybe I never did,” she adds in a whisper and Harry can feel his heart break.
He hasn’t been able to come to peace with everything Lis had to go through. In his book, she deserves the world yet she had to deal with living hell, raising Benji on her own because Austin didn’t feel like taking responsibility for his own child. If only Harry knew her then, he would have made sure to give her the world, because that’s what she deserves.
“What do you think about it?” she asks, snapping him out of his thoughts about her.
“About what?”
“Should I let him meet Benji?”
“I’m not sure I have a saying in it,” he truthfully answers, but Lis tilts her head to the side, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“Of course you have, Harry. You are my partner and a very strong influence in Benji’s life. I value your opinion and I want to make this decision with you.”
Harry can’t push the smile back, her words mean the world to him, to know that she trusts him completely and entirely, that’s all he ever wanted.
Though jealousy is burning inside him to tell her he wouldn’t let Austin have even just a glance at Benji or her again, he knows it wouldn’t be his honest opinion. He knows how important it is for a little boy to have his father around even if he has missed out on the first years of his life and Harry only wants the best for Benji.
“I think that… you should give him a chance.”
“Really?”
“Yes. He deserves a second chance and you said he is willing to cooperate and do anything you ask him to. You can have a control over the situation, that’s the best case scenario.”
“I feel like, and tell me if it sounds stupid, but I think maybe I could ask Benji himself, if he even wants to meet him. I know he is just a kid, but I feel like he can have a great understanding of the situation to have an opinion of his own.”
“It’s not stupid, Lis. I think Benji is very smart and he’ll handle it just fine.”
“Maybe we can have a chat with him in the morning.”
“You want me to be there?” he asks surprised.
“Of course. I told you, you’re my partner, in everything,” she smiles before leaning closer to kiss him sweetly.
That night, when Lis is already fast asleep Harry is still awake, staring at the ceiling, mind racing about everything he learned today. He has never thought he would ever have to deal with Austin and deep down he wishes he just stayed wherever he has been all this time, but on the other hand, he doesn’t want to take away the chance from Benji to know his father. It feels like life has sent him a reminder that no matter how much he cares about that little boy and Annalise, he is not the father of Benji and he is not the one that connects Lis and her son on such a sacred level.
He barely hears the creaking of Benji’s door and his little feet tapping on the floor. When he pushes Annalise’s bedroom door open Harry sits straight up, alerted that something must be wrong.
“Harry?” he whispers shakily.
“Hey, Buddy. What’s wrong?”
“I had a bad dream. Can I sleep here with you and Mum?” he asks and Harry doesn’t hesitate to scoot more to the edge, making space for him in the middle while Lis is still asleep on the other side.
“Come ‘ere.”
Benji climbs up the bed and Harry pulls the cover over him as he settles in the middle. He only stays still for a moment before he moves closer to Harry, cuddling to his side which catches him by surprise at first. He doesn’t understand why he chose him when Lis is lying right there, but it’s a moment he surely will cherish for a long time, because he truly feels like Benji has let him in.
Wrapping his arm around the boy he lets his head sink back into the pillow, gently rubbing Benji’s back until they both finally fall asleep.
When Lis wakes up a little later she is surprised to see that it’s now not just the two of them in bed, but when she realizes that Benji is all cuddled up to Harry’s side, her heart flutter in her chest, feeling her eyes watering as she watches the two of them sleep so peacefully.
As if Harry could sense her gaze on him, his eyes slowly flutter open and he glances at her with a sleepy gaze, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“You alright?” he whispers, his eyes falling closed again.
“Yeah. I just…” Exhaling softly, she leans over and kisses his slightly puckered lips gently before pressing one to Benji’s forehead as well. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he mumbles back before he slowly drifts back to sleep. Lis gives herself a few more minutes just admiring the two sleeping figures next to her before she lets her eyes close as well and fall back asleep.
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A week after Austin’s first real appearance Lis meets up with him alone while Benji stays with Harry. Though they talked to him in the morning, explaining to him that his dad is in town and would like to meet him and Benji seemed fine with the idea, Lis wanted to sit down with Austin and talk in more details before letting Austin see his son.
Harry takes the boy to his rehearsal and Benji manages to charm everyone just as usual. The band adores having him as their personal audience, especially because he makes sure to clap and scream joyfully following every song they play. He makes the best of friends with Mitch, finding the quiet man the most entertaining with his guitar and he even asks the man to teach him a few chords which he gladly does.
After rehearsal Harry takes him out for icecream before they head back to Annalise’s and though Harry has been enjoying his alone time with Benji, he can’t help but anxiously check his phone every five minutes, looking for any sign from Lis, but none of his notifications are from her, unfortunately.
“Harry?” Benji speaks up when they arrive home and Harry keys them into the house. Benji sits down to the floor to get rid of his sneakers but struggles with the straps of it so Harry squats down to help him.
“Yes?”
“Do you wear ties?” he asks, his question coming from the blue.
“Sometimes. Why do you ask?”
“Because my teacher today said that we would have to wear one on our graduation in year eight. But I don’t think I want to.”
“Why not?”
“Because it looks tight,” he simply says, making Harry smile as he helps him up from the floor.
“You can make it as tight as you want, don’t worry about it,” he tells him and Benji nods smiling, satisfied with the answer he got.
“Will you come to my graduation?” he then asks and Harry comes to a halt.
“In grade eight?” he questions and Benji nods. “Do you want me to be there?”
“Of course,” he nods confidently, his answer warming Harry’s chest right away.
“Then I’ll be there,” Harry tells him and it’s a promise he hopes to keep along the way.
Harry makes him a sandwich and they move up to Benji’s room to play with his dinosaurs, getting really into the game. Benji loves playing with Harry, because he always gets so into character, roaring and making weird noises, the little boy finds it so entertaining and fun, he often begs him to do impressions of different animals.
Harry doesn’t even hear the front door open and close when Lis finally arrives. After kicking her shoes off she walks up the stairs, following the noises and animalistic grunts that could only come from her boyfriend. Stopping at the door she watches them play before making her presence noticed.
“Your T-Rex impression is getting better, H,” she tells him as she walks into the room and leaning down presses a kiss to Harry’s lips, then to Benji’s head.
“I’ve been practicing a lot, thank you very much,” he smirks. “Benji, do you mind if I go talk to your mum a little? I promise we’ll play some more after.”
“Sure, it’s fine,” he nods, busy with pretending he is invading a city with his action figure.
Harry gets up from the floor and he and Lis move down to the kitchen to have some privacy and not bother Benji with what they are about to discuss.
“So, how did it go?” Harry asks as they both sit at the kitchen counter.
“Surprisingly good. He was very respectful and open. He went into a little more details about his addiction and going to rehab. I felt a little bad that I never really noticed that he was struggling with such things, but he said it was not my fault and he was damn good at hiding it for a long time. Then he asked about Benji, I showed him some pictures and told him that I’m okay with him meeting and slowly building up an environment that’s good for everyone, especially for Benji.”
“So he took it well?”
“Yes, he seemed very grateful and… just overall very open to whatever my decision was.”
“That’s great,” Harry nods, telling himself that it’s something to celebrate, but the bitterness of jealousy has started to bubble inside him once again. “So what’s the next step?”
“Well, I obviously want to be there when they meet first and I thought that we could have a picnic next weekend in the park. I already promised Benji we would go feed the ducks, so I thought I could combine the two things. What are you doing next Sunday?”
“I have a meeting in the morning, but I think I’m fine.”
“Then I would love to have you there as well,” she smiles softly.
“You sure? I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not,” she simply answers and leaning forward she kisses his lips chastely before hopping off the stool. And with that, it was settled.
Benji would meet his dad in a week.
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Harry hates that he imagined a low-life, garbage looking weird guy when he pictured Austin. He is such a judgmental mess, but this was his way of calming his conscience through the days leading up to Sunday. But now that the man is standing just down the little walkway in the park, watching them get closer, the picture he imagined is getting thrown into the trash, because Austin looks… normal.
He is tall, around Harry’s height, dirty blonde hair that looks a little outgrown, but it’s not critical just yet. Now that he is seeing the man, he can actually see some traits Benji has gotten from him, his forehead, the curve of his upper lip and the shape of his face is undeniably Austin’s. Harry has never had problem with seeing exes of his girlfriends, he was confident enough to put any image aside, but right now, as he is staring at the man who fathers the child he adores so much, he can’t push down the thoughts of Lis and Austin together while Benji is holding one of his hands, his other clutching onto his mother’s.
Austin smiles wide, waving in their way as he takes a few steps towards them.
“Hi! I was worried I was at the wrong pond,” he chuckles softly, clearly nervous about this meeting, but that makes the four of them. Everyone is fighting a different fight right now.
“Sorry, Benji spilled tea on himself so he had to take a quick bath,” Lis apologizes while the boy in talk just stands there, staring up at Austin curiously. Just like the first time he met Harry, he doesn’t seem startled by a stranger, more like inquisitive.
“S’ alright,” he shrugs before his eyes move from Benji to Harry and he sticks out a hand for him. “Nice to meet you, Lis told me a lot about you. I’m Austin.”
“M’Harry, nice to meet you too,” he nods strictly, shaking his hand with the one that’s not holding Benji’s.
Austin then squats down to get to Benji’s level, a proud, touched smile tugging on his lips as he is inspecting the boy in front of him.
“Benji, hi. I’ve heard so much about you too. I’m so happy to see you!” he breathes out as the boy stares back at him, hands still clinging onto his mother’s and Harry’s.
“You’re my daddy?” he simply asks, the gears in his head turning as he is processing the situation.
“I-I am. But you don’t have to call me that, if you don’t want to.”
“Then what should I call you?”
“My name is Austin. You can call me that.” “Okay,” he nods before turning to his mother. “Mummy, are we feeding the ducks now or what?”
Lis chuckles at how forward Benji is and that the ducks seem to interest him more than his father.
“Sure, let’s go.”
Harry is like a hawk, watching every move of Austin through their time together. He is ready to jump into action if he sees the smallest warning sign, but none is showing. Austin is treating Benji with the best of intentions, simply enjoying his time with his son, making sure this meeting doesn’t take an upsetting turn.
Sitting on a bench with Lis, the two of them are watching as Benji is throwing another handful of cut grapes they prepared together this morning, the ducks launching at them excitedly, Benji laughs when two get into a fight for a piece. Austin is squatting next to him, holding the Tupperware as Benji keeps grabbing the grapes. He is having a blast and though Harry is not sure if he entirely understands what this meeting means, he knows that Benji is enjoying his first time seeing his daddy and that’s all that matters.
“Hey,” Lis grabs his attention, her hand squeezing his knee gently. “You alright?”
Harry turns to face her, forcing a smile to his lips as he nods.
“Of course.”
Lis knows him better than to believe his act. Leaning closer she kisses him lovingly to completely grab his attention from the man standing at the pond.
“You know, whatever happens with Austin, Benji will always love you in a special way and no one can take that away from you.”
“You think so? That he loves me?” Harry asks in a whisper. He hasn’t spoken his thoughts about being accepted by him yet, especially not to Lis, but now he just can’t keep his feelings bottled up.
“Of course,” Lis nods confidently. “I know it seems like he is a very outgoing kid, but he doesn’t trust anyone that easily, he is just good at being friendly. But it’s not just that with you anymore. I know that he thinks of you as one of his best friends and that’s a huge thing.”
“He is my best friend too,” Harry smiles, his eyes darting over to the boy who is now doing a little victory dance after hitting a swimming branch in the pond with one of the grapes. He can’t imagine his days anymore without at least thinking about him. Harry has always been great with kids, but this is his first time spending so much time with one and sometimes he is catching himself thinking about Benji as his own. He would do anything for the boy and to think that there was a time when Lis didn’t even want him to know about Benji is now just ridiculous.
“I know this is a weird situation for all of us, you included, but I want you to know that I’m so thankful for everything you’ve done. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”
“You are taking away credit from yourself,” he smiles at her softly. “You’ve been doing great without me before we met.”
“I was making things work,” she corrects him. “But now… I’m happy too.”
Harry breathes out, savoring this moment and imprinting it into his memory, because he surely wants to remember it forever. Leaning closer he kisses her slowly, making sure he doesn’t get carried away too much because they are out in the public and people have been staring at them, but for a few moments, it’s just the two of them.
At the end of the day Lis agrees that it’s been a nice start and they settle with another time when Austin would see Benji. The boy clearly enjoyed his time with his dad and it’s a promising sign for Lis that she has made the right decision. Austin is clearly thankful for the time he has gotten with his son and he can’t wait to see him again and Harry can only hope his excitement and enthusiasm won’t disappear anytime soon.
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September flies by filled with times for Benji spent with Austin. The man becomes a regular person in his life and as the weeks go by, Lis starts to trust him more and more with the boy. He starts to actually act like a father and treats Benji right, finally giving him the chance to feel like all his peers that have both their parents.
While things start to settle in their life, something is clouding over the calmness. Harry is set to leave for tour on the first weekend of October and he has had quite a few trips this month as well, forcing himself to go back to his old ways in life. He had to realize he has gotten way too used to being in London and not having to leave for more than just two days and now it’s making his transition back to his touring schedule even harder. It feels like he is about to tear into at least two parts as he is trying his best to do everything he needs to in his career but also stay present for Lis and Benji. Some days are easier, when he has the chance to mess around with his appointments, appearances and interviews, but some are making him want to scream from the top of his lungs when he is still on the road at midnight and can’t make it back to Annalise’s because he doesn’t want to wake her up arriving so late.
She is taking it easier than him. Or at least tries. After having Harry as her rock for so long, she knows it’s her time to shower him with understanding, patience and all her love, making sure he knows that she’ll stick around no matter what.
Two days before he is set to fly out to the States, Chloé takes up on Benji duty to give the pair some alone time before Harry heads out. They spend most of it cocooned in his place, eagerly making up for the time they’ll be forced to spend apart. It’s hard on the both of them, but they also know it’s inevitable and Lis knows Harry moved everything in his power to make his tour as airy as possible so he can come home to her. Though she would love it if he just stayed, she doesn’t want to sound ungrateful and ridiculous, thinking Harry could drop his career for her.
She wouldn’t want that, guilt would eat her up alive if Harry quit what he loves doing the most, it’s just that she wishes a day had more than just 24 hours sometimes.
They try their best to make their parting as short as possible, hoping to make it feel less painful, but they end up sitting in her car for thirty minutes before Harry brings himself to get out and grab his suitcase that hasn’t been shipped out to LA yet. Lis hops out and meets him at the back of the car, throwing her arms around his neck one last time, kissing him with everything in her.
“Think of me a lot,” she whispers against his lips and he inhales shakily, eyebrows furrowed as he is forcing himself to let go of her.
“My thoughts of you never end, Love,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to hers one last time before finally letting his arms fall from around her waist.
As the plane takes off and Harry stares down at the view of London underneath him, he can feel part of him staying behind, in the hands of one particular and special woman.
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Show after show, city after city, the days start to melt together for Harry, losing his sense of whereabouts. Waking up in a different hotel room every third or fourth day as he travels through the States, it’s easy to lose track of where he was, where he is and where he’ll be the next day.
Touring has always been a challenging thing for him, even after being in the industry for over a decade now. The part where he shares his music, his art with his precious fans, where he gets to see their face and sing with them, for them, that’s what he wouldn’t trade for any other job. But being on the road for such a long time brings him the most painful homesickness that’s not easy to deal with. There’re not many ways either other than going home.
The way Harry made sure to fly back home every now and then only worked for a while. Two days every three weeks is nothing compared to what they had all summer, especially when they were living together. Every time he flew back to London and then was forced to return to the States, saying goodbye was getting harder and harder. He hated seeing the pain in Annalise’s eyes every time he was leaving, and telling Benji that he wouldn’t be here next week was also torture.
Austin has slowly become part of Benji’s everyday life. He made sure to see him at least once a week, doing all kinds of activities, strictly with Lis for now. Though Benji still calls him by his first name, he is settling into the sense of having a father in his life now.
The situation was bittersweet for Harry. He was over the moon that Benji now finally had the chance to connect with both his parents, but however stupid it sounds, he was jealous. After becoming serious with Lis he started imagining himself be this father-like figure for the boy, teaching him everything he learned from his dad and step-dad. Harry had such a special bond with Robin growing up, he made it his priority to be that to Benji what Robin was to him: someone to rely on, to trust and count on no matter what.
But ever since Austin’s appearance, his feelings have been all over the place, thoughts racing every time he had some quiet moments to himself to think. Lis always told him about when they met, made sure Harry knew about everything so it wouldn’t create a mishap that she kept something to herself, however it still had a major disadvantage.
Harry slowly started to feel like he was the outsider in Lis and Benji’s life, like he was the one that didn’t really belong there while he thought the same about Austin at the beginning. The pictures and videos Lis has sent him when he was away, the times she raved about whatever activity they did that day, they all made him drift farther from the security he felt when he was back in London.
The cherry on the top is Benji’s seventh birthday at the beginning of December.
Harry made sure to have enough days off to fly home to the small birthday party Lis was having for him. She invited his friends from school and her parents were coming down to London as well to celebrate. And of course, Austin was invited as well.
But as always, things didn’t go as planned. Harry was stuck in traffic on his way to the airport so his jet left an hour later than it was planned, then they had to make an emergency landing just two hours after taking off, they had to have the whole plane checked, it turns out nothing was wrong, just a generator got a little too heated. So by the time he was officially on his way, he was almost four hours later than planned.
If things went right he would have arrived by three at Annalise’s, but this whole mishap set him back a lot more than he could deal with calmly. As soon as he touches down in London he takes his phone out of airplane mode and calls Lis right away.
“Harry! Everything alright?” she asks, the noise behind her quite loud as the party must still be going.
“Yeah, I’m so fucking sorry but I just touched down. I’m going straight to yours. Lis I’m so sorry I’m late,” he breathes out in a rush as he is marching through the terminal to the car that’s already waiting for him.
“Harry, slow down, it’s okay! You arrived safely, that’s all that matters.”
“No, I wanted to be there in time and now the whole thing will be over basically by the time I get there!” he jabbers in panic, feeling so horrible for something that was completely out of his control.
“It’s not your fault, Harry. Just get here safely, that’s all I want, alright?”
“Okay,” he breaths out sharply. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you,” she chimes into the phone.
“Love you too,” he says before ending the call.
It feels like the car can’t move fast enough, Harry is anxiously sitting in the back of it, watching London pass by him, dying to finally get to Annalise’s neighborhood. It’s already past seven when he finally arrives, grabbing his duffel bag from the back of the car, he sprints up the stairs and lets himself in, not bothering to ring the bell.
Music is heard from inside and as he walks into the house it just gets louder. The first thing he sees is a bunch of kids running around in the living room, playing some kind of game, a few parents chatting here and there, the remains of a cake sitting on the kitchen counter with some more snacks and drinks.
“Harry!” he hears Benji call out, the boy running towards him in a onesie that looks like a dinosaur, it even has a tail on his behind.
“Birthday boy! Hi!” he breathes out in relief as he finally wraps him in a bear hug, lifting him up from the ground. “Sorry I’m so late, did you save some cake for me?” he chuckles putting back the boy to his feet.
“Mum did, it’s in the fridge!” he smiles widely.
“Your mum is an angel,” he smiles back, just as Lis appears, holding out her arms for Harry.
“Am I now?” she chuckles before wrapping her arms around his torso, hugging him tight. “Hi,” she smiles sweetly at him before he leans down and kisses her.
“Hi. Sorry for the delay,” he breathes his apology out again, but Lis just shakes her head.
“It’s alright, I know it wasn’t your fault.”
“Did you bring me a gift?” Benji asks in excitement, jumping up and down in front of Harry, who leaves an arm around Annalise’s waist, smiling down at the birthday boy.
“Well of course I did,” he chuckles.
Benji can’t contain his excitement as Harry quickly makes his rounds of greetings to everyone, ignoring the wide-eyed looks he is getting from some of the mums. It hasn’t been a secret that Lis and him are dating, but it’s always shocking to see them in the flesh and some of the women among the guests are a little starstruck to see Harry in such an intimate and domestic setting, celebrating his girlfriend’s son’s birthday. Lis’ parents make him promise to get back to them for a chat after he gives Benji his gift and he gladly gives them his word.
Moving to the living room all the kids gather around Harry and Benji who sit on the carpet as Harry pulls out his gift from the duffel bag he brought. It was once neatly wrapped, but the paper is now a little crumbled, signs of the long way here showing on it.
“Happy birthday, Benji,” Harry smiles handing him the gift and he is about to jump right into tearing the wrapping off, but Lis stops him.
“Ah, what do we say?” she warns the boy who immediately stops and looks at Harry.
“Thank you, Harry.” “You’re welcome,” he chuckles and Benji finally gets back to the unwrapping.
“Wow!” Benji gasps as he frees the box from the paper, all the other kids chattering in excitement as they see what the present is. “Mum! Look! It’s gonna be a space shuttle!” he exclaims holding up the Lego box. Harry was a little lost about what to buy, seeing that Benji now owns every kind of dinosaur toys to exist, so he went for his second obsession: space. He ordered the kit even before he left for tour to make sure it arrives in time.
“Sounds cool!” Lis chuckles.
The kids get right down to business to build the space shuttle, so Harry frees himself from them for a while.
Unfortunately, the party doesn’t last too long. After eight, the guests start leaving since all the kids have a bedtime and twenty minutes later it’s just Annalise’s parents, Chloé, Austin and Harry left in the house. Suzan and George are in the living room, enjoying their time with their grandson, Harry and Chloé are cleaning up all the toys that ended up downstairs from Benji’s room while Lis and Austin are on dish washing duty.
“This kid has way too many toys,” Chloé grumbles under her breath when they have already made their second round up to his room. She sits on the ground, putting everything away to their place as Harry chuckles softly.
“I’ll go get the rest,” he tells her before making his way downstairs again.
Lis’ laughter hits his ears, immediately making him smile, but as he turns the corner he freezes, eyes glued to the two adults at the kitchen sink.
Austin and Lis are standing shoulder to shoulder, Lis washing the dishes while Austin is drying them in a cloth. He keeps nagging her with his shoulder, making her laugh as she whines at him to stop, pushing back at him gently.
“What? I’m not doing anything!” Austin tells her with an innocent look. They don’t notice Harry’s presence and for a minute, he feels like he is not even there physically.
Benji runs up to them, showing part of the shuttle he has built, proud of the work he did and the two of them look down at it in awe.
“Good job, Benji!” Austin tells him with a proud smile, ruffling his hair playfully. “It’s gonna look awesome.”
“Right? This is gonna be the shuttle that will save some dinosaurs when the meteor hits!” he explains and Lis chuckles at his imagination.
“Sounds amazing, Sweetie.”
Benji runs back to the living room, eager to work more on the shuttle, but Harry’s attention is still on the pair in the kitchen.
“I’m convinced he got his patience from you, Lisie. I could never build that thing,” Austin tells her and Harry flinches at the nickname. Are they now this close? Using nicknames?
“I won’t argue with that,” she nods in agreement.
Harry’s stomach churns as he watches them. He knew they’ve been spending a lot of time together because of Benji, but this was just way too close to his liking. But it’s not that Harry thinks she would ever cheat on him. It’s more about the tainting thought that they look like a real family.
For an outsider, they are just a normal couple, parenting their son and seeing them so domestic and close got Harry thinking thoughts he definitely shouldn’t.
What if this is what Lis wants? What if he is keeping them from finally being a family? What if he is the only reason why Benji doesn’t have the picture perfect family?
The thoughts pains his chest and he forces himself to look away. He gathers the last toys in silence and brings them up to Benji’s room as he and Chloé finish up with everything.
Soon enough, everyone who is not spending the night at the house leaves. Lis takes Benji to the bathroom to give him his bath and Harry finds himself sitting at the kitchen island, blankly staring ahead of him, the picture of Lis and Austin burning into his mind.
He hears voices upstairs and he knows she is putting him to bed. Once it becomes silent again footsteps are heard from the stairs and a few moments later two arms curl around his waist from behind.
Lis kisses him between his shoulder blades as he glances over his shoulder.
“Hi,” she smiles, resting her chin on his shoulder from behind.
“Hey,” he breathes out and turning around in her arms, he leans his back against the edge of the island. “Bed time went okay?”
“Yeah. It’s been a long day, he got tired of all the excitement,” she chuckles.
“M’sorry I couldn’t be here earlier,” he apologizes again, but Lis shakes her head at him, just like she did before.
“It’s alright, Harry. Don’t work yourself up about it. You flew across the globe to be here, a little delay is nothing you should be worried about.”
Her words mean well, they are the truth, yet Harry’s tired and darkened mind twists them so easily.
It doesn’t matter because they had Austin here before he arrived, he tells himself, but doesn’t say out loud, keeping the thought to himself.
“You alright?” she asks, her fingers dancing over his jawline until they swipe across his bottom lip. “You’ve been so quiet.” “Just… tired,” he tells her with a small smile that doesn’t match his eyes.
“When do you have to leave?”
“Monday morning, but I promised my mum I’d go see her tomorrow.”
“Are you coming back after you meet Anne?”
“Do you want me to come back?” he asks before he could think, the question taking her by surprise.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“No reason,” he replies with a small head shake. “I’m really tired, can we go to bed?”
“Sure. You go, take a shower and I’ll put away the leftover snacks,” she tells him pecking his lips shortly before letting go of him.
That night, Harry lies awake in bed, Lis curled up against his side, sleeping soundly. He can’t escape his haunting thoughts about Austin, he keeps seeing that little scene in the kitchen, making up more and more that might have happened while he was away. It’s clearer than daylight that Austin is finally claiming his role as a father, but Harry never thought about what it could do to him and though Lis didn’t give him any reason to think this way, he just can’t help.
This feeling is weighing down on his chest heavier than anything, his thoughts are racing, flashing him pictures he shouldn’t be thinking about. Hours pass by and Harry spirals into unwanted depths. He forces himself to close his eyes and eventually, he falls to a shallow slumber, but his last thought breaks his heart with a snap of a finger: His fear of being a homewrecker, what he thought himself to be when he first met Lis now feels realer than ever.
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Harry’s ears still ring a bit as he makes his way back to his dressing room, his high still lasting from his show that ended just minutes ago. He keeps thanking the nice words he is getting on his way, his usual smile plastered across his face, but it hasn’t been truly genuine in a while now.
There are just two more shows left before he is going on a break for the holidays, flying back to the UK for more than just a few days. The UK leg starts at the end of January, giving him about a month worth of break before he hits the road again and travels through Europe.
He should be over the Moon that he is finally going home again, but it’s bittersweet. Ever since Benji’s birthday he has gone downhill about his spiraling thoughts about being the reason why a family is not together. At nights, he finds himself tearing up, thinking about Austin and Lis rekindling their romance and finally become the family they were always supposed to be and the thought always leaves him heartbroken.
He hasn’t been able to get his head straight and he knows he should talk to her, be honest about his feelings, but he just can’t get himself to do that, the fear of getting an answer he has imagined already is crippling.
A knock is heard on his dressing room’s door and a moment later Jeff pokes his head inside.
“Hey, great show tonight,” he says giving him a thumbs up as he walks further inside.
“Thanks,” Harry nods as he gets rid of his suit jacket, hanging it up on the rack that holds his other tour outfits he has been switching between.
“Have you talked to Annalise about New York?”
Harry closes his eyes shaking his head no. Not long after Benji’s birthday, the idea of flying Lis and Benji out to New York for Harry’s last concert came up. It would be on the 22nd of December, the first Saturday of winter break so school wouldn’t be a problem and since Lis has the whole week of Christmas off from work, she could make it work as well. Both of Harry’s Madison Square Garden show is completely sold out and it’s been a nice thought to have them see him on his last show of the North American leg of the tour, though Harry hasn’t been able to bring himself to ask her about it, now running out of time.
“H, I need an answer for the flights and all. Please, talk to her today or tomorrow,” Jeff begs.
“I will. It just… slipped my mind. Sorry,” Harry lies and though Jeff can see right through him, he doesn’t push it, just nods and leaves him alone.
Harry is quick to make it back to the hotel. He takes the shower he missed at the venue and then rejects Sarah’s offer to have a drink with the band in her room, claiming that he is just going to head to bed. His hair is still wet as he puts on a pair of clean boxer briefs and a white shirt before making himself comfortable on his bed.
Holding his phone in his hand, he has Annalise’s contact open as he chews on his bottom lip, trying to gather all his forces to call her. She is probably already up, getting ready for her day and Harry can picture her sipping on her morning coffee as she is trying to figure out what to wear today. The scene lives vividly in his mind, because not so long ago he was lying in her bed, watching her shuffle around in just her underwear, her hair messily falling to her shoulders, the coffee sitting on the top of her dresser. He hasn’t forgotten the warm feeling the sight brought to him, how he felt a sense of home just by looking at her so early in the morning.
But it feels a million miles away now, almost too foreign to his liking as his thumb lingers over the call button before he finally taps on it. The line rings two times before she answers.
“Hey! How did the show go?” she asks right away, her voice bright as the morning Sun.
“It went alright,” he nods to himself, sinking further down on the bed until his head is resting on the pillow. “How are you? Everything good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just miss you,” she murmurs. “Benji misses you too, he asked if you’d be here on Christmas as well.”
“I miss you guys too,” he answers truthfully, because despite everything he’s been fighting, he can’t deny the love he has for the two of them.
“I wanted to talk about something with you.” “Yeah?” Harry breathes out, feeling his stomach churn.
“Yes. I was talking to Austin the other day and we were trying to figure out how Christmas would go. I told him that we’re going to my parents’ and your mum’s as well, so we won’t really have a lot of free time. So he asked if we could do something on the weekend before Christmas. He wants to make a trip to Bath, we would leave early and then come back late in the evening.”
As Lis explains the plans she has been making on the exact same date when Harry was planning to fly them over to New York, he finds himself holding his breath, tears stinging his eyes. Though it’s entirely his fault he hasn’t asked her earlier, but in a way he feels like he lost. Like she chose Austin over him and that’s what he’s been fearing all along.
“So now you’re making trips with Austin, huh?” he answers, his words sharper than he intended.
“Okay, I can hear you don’t like the idea,” she states, catching on that something is wrong, though she’s felt the change in Harry before, but she thought it’s just the busy schedule he has been on.
“Not to sound selfish, but I’m just not quite the fan of this trip while I would be on a different continent.”
“Harry, I asked you for a reason, I know it’s a complicated situation but I wanted to make sure it’s comfortable with you. If you don’t like the sound of it that’s fine, but at least you could have used a little nicer tone.”
“M’sorry for not being nice enough, but I’m just starting to lose patience, if I’m being honest.”
“Patience?” she asks. “About what? Me?”
“Make a guess, Lis. I’m across the world while you are planning trips with Austin.”
“You are making it sound like I’m going on a romantic getaway with him, but it’s a trip for him and Benji to spend time together,” she defends herself.
“It’s just that lately, everything has been about Austin,” he snaps, exhaling sharply, all his bottled up emotions slowly surfacing now.
“I—Well not everything, but I admit it’s been a big change, yes. And I’m sorry if it makes you feel bad, but this is not the way to talk about it, don’t you think?”
“Then how? Tell me how to talk about it, because I don’t have a fucking clue about what’s happening anymore, Lis!”
“Harry,” she breathes out, completely startled by his outburst. “Why do I feel like this is about something else?”
“Maybe because it is.”
“Then tell me! I can’t make things right if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You know…” Harry sighs in defeat, emotionally drained at this very point. “I’ve been told that sometimes I give too much. And I have a feeling that this might be the case here now as well.”
“What… What is that supposed to mean?” Annalise breathes out, tears forming in her eyes as she leans against the kitchen counter, holding the phone to her ear with a shaky hand.
“I just—I don’t think I can go on like this anymore. Feeling this way,” Harry rasps, a single tear running down his face.
“Like what?” she begs, pushing down a sob. “Harry, please talk to me!”
“Like I’m the one holding you back,” he finally says.
“From what? I swear you’re not holding me back in anything, Harry.”
“Except from having the family you always wanted.”
Lis sobs at his words as the picture finally gets clear. Everything he has said now makes sense, though she is having a hard time to understand how Harry could ever feel this way.
“Harry, that’s not true. I have the family I always wanted and it includes you! I know it feels like an impossible situation, but I know that we just need some time to make things work. If you ever think that you are less in our lives just because you don’t share the same DNA as Benji, I want you to know that it’s not true. You’ve become so important for him and especially for me, I don’t want you to doubt your role in our life.”
They are both crying, the weight of the words that’ve been just said crashing down on them. Harry closes his eyes and let’s his sobs out, not able to silence himself any longer. His chest aches and so does Annalise’s.
He wants to believe her. He really does. But it’s so hard to change the reality he’s been building up in just a moment, the distance between them surely not helping the case either. Lis wishes she was there with him, hold him and tell him over and over again how much she loves him. It doesn’t matter how things have changed with Austin, it never affected the way she is so hopelessly in love with Harry.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes out, still fighting his tears. “I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about that I’m a homewrecker. I saw you with Austin on Benji’s birthday and I felt like I wasn’t even there, like I didn’t matter.”
“Oh Harry… I knew something was wrong, but I figured you’d tell me!” she sighs rubbing her face, wiping her tears away. “Of course you mattered! Benji was so happy you were there! He was asking all day when you’d arrive and when I put him to bed he asked if I think you’ll want to rebuild the shuttle with him once it’s done.”
Harry whimpers at her words, his chest tightening even more. His consciousness is telling him to pack a bag and leave right away, fly back to London so he can hold Lis in his arms as soon as possible.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” he breathes out rubbing his eyes.
“You are family, Harry. To me and to Benji as well. Nothing can change that, not even Austin. You’ve already given so much to my son, I will never be able to thank you for being in his life.”
“Fuck, I’m about to sob like a baby,” he jokes making her laugh. “Lis, I’m sorry, I’ve been an idiot.”
“You have not. Just next time, please talk to me, okay?”
“Okay,” he whispers nodding to himself.
“I love you, Harry. Please don’t ever doubt or forget that.”
“I won’t,” he promises, this time shaking his head to strengthen his words.
“You love me too?” she murmurs softly.
“Of course. I love you so much, Lis.” “Good. Now I have to go and wake Benji up. I can’t wait to see you again soon.”
“Me neither.”
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In the middle of the emotional tsunami that washed over Harry, he completely forgot about asking Lis about New York and later he talked himself down to mention it. He didn’t want to ruin the trip they had planned.
So on his last show, filling up MSG for the second night, he is standing on his own behind the stage, waiting to come out. But as soon as the show kicks off, the backstage is filled with a special buzz.
Even though Harry put his plans aside about flying Lis and Benji out to New York, Jeff didn’t. When Harry didn’t give an answer about his decision he was about to take it as a no to the plans, but luckily, he decided to reach out and emailed Lis with the details of everything they had in plans. To say the least, Lis was shocked that Harry didn’t mention it to her, but she could tell it had a lot to do with that call not long ago.
She knew how much it means to Harry and she didn’t think twice before asking Austin to have their little trip after Christmas, freeing up the weekend to go and visit Harry. They fixed up everything in secret, letting Harry believe he’ll only see them when he returns to the UK on the 23rd.
Jeff helped her manage everything and they arrived to the city just an hour before the start of the show. A car picked them up and drove them to the venue and they waited in it until Harry finally stepped on stage so the air was clear.
Jeff runs down the hallways so fast, he almost knocks two people over on his way. Lis spots him before he reaches the car and she gets out to greet the man.
“Hey, he just started. Come on, you can come inside,” Jeff tells her. She helps Benji out of the car and the three of them head inside, ready to surprise Harry.
Through the whole tour, Harry liked to spice up the track list a little, randomly performing covers of songs he has been listening to lately. Tonight, he is gifting the fans with his version of Want You Back by HAIM. He practiced it with the band yesterday and every time they played it, Harry kept ending up on the left side of the stage, dancing and fooling around as usual and this is what Jeff is counting on tonight.
Harry takes a breather after his last song, the crowd screaming and clapping as he takes a few gulps of his water before walking back to the front of the stage.
“This is my last show before my little break,” he says into the microphone. “I’ve been performing different covers through this tour and tonight won’t be different either.”
The crowd goes crazy, screaming the title of the songs they want to hear the most.
“Tonight’s song is by three incredible artists and they go under the name of HAIM,” he explains, the screaming increasing once again.
When he doesn’t know is that the two people he has been missing the most are standing behind the stage, clapping along with the audience. Benji turns to his mother in excitement when he gets a glimpse of the mass of people outside in the arena. He has been over the Moon since Lis told him they would travel all the way to North-America to surprise and see Harry before he comes home.
“The song is called Want You Back and I hope you’ll like it,” he gushes into the microphone as he moves away from it to grab one of his acoustic guitars and moving back to the microphone he starts the song.
“Some things are long forgotten, some things were never said…” His voice fills the arena and Lis almost doesn’t notice Jeff’s touch on her arm. “We were on one endless road, but I had a wandering heart.”
“Let’s get you out there so he can see you!” he tells her over the music and nodding she takes Benji’s hand as they follow the man out of the backstage.
There’s a small, free space between the actual edge of the stage and the pit area, mostly for security guards, but this time it’ll be the designated spot for the two of them. As they walk out, and some fans start recognizing her, Harry doesn’t realize what is happening, he is way too lost in the song.
Lis feels a little like under a microscope as the fans around her get all excited about her presence and she is just nicely saying hello back to them before turning her attention at the man singing on the stage. Benji stands in front of her and she has her hands on his shoulders as he is jamming to the song even though he has never even heard it before.
“I said we were opposite lovers, said it from the beginning you kept trying to prove me wrong. Said you’d always see it through and I know that I ran you down, so you ran away with your heart…”
Harry is making his way to the left wing, just as Jeff predicted, getting closer to the two surprise guests, but he hasn’t spotted them just yet. He has pushed the guitar to his back as now the band is taking the lead in the song, leaving him just with the singing and dancing.
Annalise’s breath is caught in her throat as Harry stops right in front of them, but his gaze falls over them, not focusing on what’s happening at the very front. Right until he sees how most of the fans in front of him are pointing at the front of the stage.
“But I just know that I want you back, just know that—“
His singing comes to a halt as his mouth hangs open when his eyes finally fall on the two familiar frames right at his feet.
Benji is jumping in excitement, waving at Harry as Lis smirks up at him, eyes filled with pride and love, all just for him.
Harry can’t believe his eyes as he stands frozen for a few minutes, the song long forgotten as his eyes lock with Lis’. His hand has fallen so the microphone is not close enough to catch as the question How?! falls from his mouth.
“Just sing!” she shouts laughing and he then snaps back to reality where he is supposed to be performing.
He quickly recovers from his shock and carries on with the song, but his eyes keep darting back to the two of them on the left side. When it finally ends he is quick to jog over to them and get down on the floor so his face is close enough to hear what she is saying.
“How did you get here?” he breathes out, ignoring the screaming that’s filling the whole arena.
“You really thought I would choose a trip to Bath over coming here to see you?” she chuckles, his heart skipping a beat. “We’ll talk later, now go and finish your show,” she tells him stepping back as Harry jumps back to his feet.
“Sorry for the little scene, I just didn’t know my girlfriend would be here tonight,” he talks into the microphone, shocking everyone with how easily he just called her his girlfriend, basically for the first time in a public setting. His eyes move back at Lis who is clearly blushing, holding onto Benji’s shoulders as she chuckles softly.
They sing and dance through the rest of the show and Harry can’t keep his eyes off them. He hasn’t seen them in the flesh since Benji’s birthday which was weeks ago and having them there at the show is just making his chest burst from joy, especially because they chose to fly across the ocean instead of their road trip to Bath with Austin. Though Harry has managed to come more to peace with the whole Austin situation, it’s still amazing to know he matters enough to be a priority.
He has never ached this bad for a concert to be over and normally he would feel bad for wanting to escape so fast, but not tonight. He basically jolts off the stage when the lights go down, rushing past everything and anyone, until his eyes fall on the two people he has been desperate to hug all night.
“Harry!” Benji calls out, sprinting towards him laughing carefreely as he throws himself at Harry who catches him just in time, picking the boy up to his arms.
“You really surprised me, I wasn’t expecting to see you!” Harry admits chuckling softly once Benji lets go of his neck and looks at him playfully giggling.
“Are you happy we are here?” he asks in all of his childish innocence.
“I am beyond happy,” he breathes out, ruffling his hair as Lis finally reaches them. Keeping Benji in his arms, Harry leans down and kisses her, curling his arm that’s not holding the excited boy around her waist as he pulls her closer. “You sneaky little thing,” he grins and Lis just slyly smirks back at him. “How did this happen?”
“Well, Jeff emailed me asking if you’ve talked to me about the trip here and I was shocked that you didn’t even mention you wanted this to happen.” She gently smacks his chest for keeping his plans hidden from her.
“You had plans already, didn’t want to mess it up.”
“We had a vague plan, nothing was decided yet. I would have rearranged it the moment you told me about New York, but you didn’t!”
“I know, I’m sorry,” he breathes out, putting Benji down who immediately runs up to Mitch who just walked off the stage. The guy greets him warmly, squatting down so Benji can have a look at his guitar.
“Anyway, Jeff helped me to arrange everything, I wanted to surprise you.”
“You succeeded,” he chuckles before kissing her again, this time with no Benji between them.
“I thought it would mean a lot to you, especially after… everything.” She gently strokes his face, a tad bit worry still laced through her voice as she hasn’t been able to decide where they have really been standing since that one phone call.
“It really means a lot. Thank you,” he breathes out, feeling complete after weeks of suffering on his own. “I love you,” he whispers, leaning closer so his lips are brushing against hers.
“I love you too,” she smiles before he kisses her.
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December 31st
“Poppy, Sweetheart, can you not undress every ten minutes?” Harry sighs at the little girl standing in front of him, only in her diapers even though he dressed her just before he went to get his suit jacket. The toddler blinks up at him curiously, curling a lock of hair around her finger while she sucks on her thumb on her other hand.
Harry leans down and picks her up, walking out of the bedroom he sees the trail of clothes in the hallway that she left. He gathers all clothing items and walks downstairs.
“And please don’t let her stay naked when she undresses, she’ll never learn to stay in clothes if you just let her roam around naked,” Lis explains to Suzan in the kitchen who nods along to everything she is saying. Her eyes fall on Harry walking in with the girl in talk in his arms. “See? Naked, again!” Lis sighs. “Poppy, it’s a little early for you to practice undressing, don’t you think?” she asks the theoretical question from the girl who is holding onto Harry’s neck now, blinking up at Lis innocently. “Although, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing,” she adds with a playful smirk, glancing at Harry, who just shrugs, so full of himself.
“I’m not denying that,” he comments. “Suzan, can you dress her please?” Harry asks and the proud grandmother reaches for Poppy without hesitation.
“Of course. Come on, Darling,” she coos, taking the clothes from Harry as well.
“You ready to leave, Love?” Harry asks, kissing Annalise’s temple. She is wearing a long, black bodycon dress that has a sparkling seam at the top and bottom, spicing it up just a tad bit.
“Yeah, just let me grab my purse and phone. Would you please ask Benji to come downstairs a bit?” she asks as she disappears in her study.
Harry hums to himself as he walks through the spacious living room where George is sitting in one of the armchairs, watching the news while Suzan is trying her best to get Poppy dressed again, even though she’ll free herself from the clothes probably the moment she is left to roam around again.
Benji’s door is open at the end of the hallway, but Harry still knocks on it before stepping inside, seeing the boy lying on his stomach on his bed, reading the comic books he got for Christmas.
“Hey, we are leaving. Come down a little, please?”
“Sure,” Benji nods, leaving the comic book open on his bed as he gets up. Harry follows his movements and catches himself thinking how tall he is getting already. When he turned ten he started growing rapidly and Harry now thinks he’ll easily outgrow him by the time he finishes high school. Lis already can’t stop complaining that her twelve years old son is starting to catch up with her in height.
“At least Poppy is still small like a bean,” she grumbled the other day when it came up again, but Harry just chuckled.
“For now. But don’t forget that she has my genes and I’m not what you’d consider short.”
“Damn it, I’ll be the shortest in the house!” she sighed making Harry laugh.
Harry fixes his collar as he heads down with Benji, Lis walking out of her study right then.
“Oh great! Benji, please keep an eye on your sister while we are away, would you?”
“Isn’t that what Grandma and Grandpa are here for?” Benji jokes.
Suzan finishes up with Poppy and puts her down, the little girl immediately running up to her brother who gladly picks her up, struggling a little under the weight of the two year-old, but he manages to hold her.
“Yes, but if she starts running around, you are going to be the one to run after her and make sure she doesn’t break anything,” Lis tells him with a stern look. Poppy has developed quite a speed in the past months, enjoying sprinting around the house. Luckily, she has plenty of space, the new home they moved into before the little girl’s arrival came with enough room for any activity for the two kids.
“Don’t worry, Lisie, we’ll have an amazing time,” Suzan grins at her daughter who feels a little adamant about leaving her kids home, but it’s been so long since her and Harry had an evening to themselves. When Griff called Harry a few weeks ago, asking if the pair would be up for another New Year’s Eve party at the pub, it took Harry some convincing to make her say yes, but she eventually did. Suzan and George were happy to take up on the babysitting duty, giving the two of them some adult time.
Lis grabs her wool coat from the arm of the sofa and puts it on as she walks over to the kids.
“Be good, listen to grandma and grandpa, okay?” she tells Benji before kissing the top of his head and doing the same with Poppy. “You too, Missy!” she tells the girl who giggles at her words.
“Missy! Missy!” she repeats after her mother, her tiny hands grabbing onto Benji’s ears who whines a bit, but eventually lets his sister hold onto them.
Lis tells some last minute things to her parents and Harry uses this time to step closer to Benji.
“Don’t tell grandpa, but you are the man at the house until we come home, alright?” he tells him and Benji nods, taking the role seriously. “Be good, we’ll see you probably tomorrow. And you little girl…”
Harry takes Poppy from Benji’s arms, the little girl chuckling at her daddy happily, her hands immediately finding Harry’s hair.
“Don’t cause too much trouble, okay? Trouble is no good,” he tells her and she adorable shakes her head at his words.
“No twouble!” She calls out, throwing her hands into the air. Harry chuckles at her, kissing her soft cheeks a few times before putting her down. Poppy runs over to George who picks her up and sits her on his lap.
“Okay, let’s go,” Lis finally says. “Happy New Year guys! See you soon!” she calls out waving around on their way out. Harry says his goodbye as well, his hand finding Annalise’s as they walk out of the house.
He gives her hand a soft squeeze, loving the feeling of her wedding band on her finger under his touch. Harry knows Lis is a little worried about leaving the kids with her parents. She hasn’t spent more than just about two hours away from Poppy since she was born, but she also knows the kids are in great hands with Suzan and George. After all, they raised her as well.
The pub is packed by the time they arrive, but Griff immediately spots them as they walk through the door.
“Aye! S’ my favorite couple!” he calls out, hugging them both at the same time. “So glad ya could make it! No kids?” he jokes, though he knows they would have brought the kids to a pub to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
“No, they are home with the grandparents,” Harry smiles at his old pal.
“Alright, then let loose tonight!” Griff cheers.
The three of them chat for a little before the pub owner moves on to another group of guests, leaving Harry and Lis alone. He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close, his nose brushing against her ear as he speaks up.
“Last time we were here you ran off quite rudely. Are you gonna dump me tonight as well?” he teases, referring to the first time they met, exactly five years ago.
“Seeing that you’re my ride home, it’s not gonna happen this time,” she jokes and turning her head she kisses his lips shortly.
“Is that the only reason?” Harry gasps, pretending to be hurt over her answer.
“Mmm, I’m not sure it would look good on my records if I left my husband at a New Year’s Eve party.”
Harry can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips when she calls him her husband. They’ve been married for a little over three years now, yet it still amazes him that he was able to not just score, but keep the most amazing woman he has ever met.
Harry popped the big question on their second Christmas together, hiding the ring among the other gifts. Lis started crying and could barely even say yes properly, constantly sobbing, but it was definitely a happy cry. They tied the knot just three short months later, officially becoming Mr. and Mrs. Styles. It was a small and intimate wedding, but one of their photos later ended up in Vogue. At first Lis was adamant about showing such a private moment of their life with the public, but Harry managed to convince her otherwise.
“Let me show off my smoking hot wife to the world, Love!” he told him every time it came up until she finally gave up.
By the time their wedding came, they were both sure that they wanted to expand the family as soon as possible and ten short months later they were blessed with a baby girl they named Poppy. Harry has put a hold on his career when Lis reached her third trimester and he hasn’t fully gotten back to work since then, enjoying every bit of parenthood without shame. He has put out a new album last year, but it was announced beforehand that he would not go on a tour with it, not ready to leave his family just yet, but he promised to play the majority of the songs the next time he travels around the world.
The two of them mingle in the crowd, enjoying their time without any crying, food throwing or whining. It’s been so long since they last spent any time without Benji or Poppy, not that they don’t enjoy being with them, because they value every little moment, but sometimes it’s nice to set themselves free for just a night.
This sense of déjà vu lingers around the both of them all night, being at the pub is quite an emotional moment for them, seeing how far they have come from that one particular night five years ago.
When it’s nearing midnight, Harry fetches themselves two glasses of champagnes and they wait for the countdown at the exact same spot they stood back then. Harry notices her gaze on him and glances down at her with a half-smile.
“What? Is there something on m’ face?” he asks jokingly, making her laugh.
“No,” she shakes her head. “I’m just feeling a little emotional right now.”
“Emotional?” he furrows his eyebrows at her before his eyes widen. “Wait, are you… Are you pregnant?” he gasps, but Lis just chuckles at him.
“Harry, I’m literally holding a glass of champagne, you think I would be drinking if I was pregnant?”
“Right, it didn’t occur to me,” he nods.
“But… would you want that?” she shyly asks, the question has been bugging her for a while now.
“Would I want you to be pregnant?”
“Yeah.”
“Love, I would die to see you pregnant again and have another baby with you,” he answers simply, his straightforwardness surprising her a little.
“Why haven’t you brought it up then?”
“I wanted to, I was just not sure how you are feeling about it. If you’d want to even go through another pregnancy.”
“Well I do.”
“So why haven’t you brought it up earlier then?” he asks, returning the question for her.
“Because you’ve been on a break for over two years and another baby would set your career back even more,” she answers truthfully. She’s had enough time thinking about it and she had to realize she’s been feeling guilty for basically snatching Harry away from his fans, even if the majority was so understanding and nice when he announced his hiatus.
“Lis,” he breathes out turning to her with his full body. “I can make music at forty or fifty and even sixty. It’ll always be there for me. But we don’t have all the time to have another baby and I do want another, that I’m sure about.”
Annalise pouts her lips at him and for a moment he is afraid he said something wrong.
“What’s it now, Love?”
“I just love it when you talk about having babies, it makes me want to have a dozen more.”
Harry chuckles and presses his lips to hers shortly.
“I don’t know how that would sit with your lady parts, but I’m always up for some baby making,” he murmurs with a smug grin.
“Harry Styles, you never change,” she chuckles as the crowd around them starts the countdown.
“Do you want me to change?”
“No. Never,” she smiles softly, a faint blush playing on her cheeks. “So, another baby?”
“I’m in if you’re in,” he nods as the countdown reaches five, but the noises and voices are completely shut out for them.
“I’m in,” she smirks, biting into her bottom lip.
“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheers and Harry leans down, capturing her lips in a more confident way than he did five years ago.
“Happy New Year, Love,” he murmurs against her lips.
“Happy New Year,” she answers with a bright smile as they clink their glasses and drink to the new year ahead of them.
-
TAGLIST
let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!
@stylesfics-xx @dontworrysunflower @mariamuses @bookwormandtea @swtxel @ericadrumgoole1
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yeahimaloser · 4 years ago
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By The Window
Hi everyone! Sorry this might have taken a while, I was a little stressed out, but here it is! I hope you like it! it’s a little hurt/comfort one-shot! This ones a littttle bit more spicy than my other one shots but is still sfw :)) so I hope you enjoy!!
summary: God, you missed him, you missed Keigo so much that it hurt, you wished over and over agian for him to just come back home to you. 
Reader has no pronouns metioned
4k words
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You faced the window, sighing.
How long had it been, 2, 3 months since you’ve seen Hawks? It felt like a lifetime ago when he kissed you goodbye, it felt as though you had forgotten the way his hands held you, it felt like you hadn’t seen those piercing golden eyes in years.
Your heart yearned for him to come home, you knew that it was for a mission, you knew that he had to have no outside contact, but still, all you wanted was him, for him to come home.
Nothing felt right without Keigo, everything felt wrong. Watching movies felt like a tedious effort, without Keigo holding you to him it felt lonely. Sleeping felt uncomfortable, the bed never felt so big without him inside the covers. Even eating felt different, without Keigo talking to you about work, just talking about random things that never failed to put a smile on your face. 
You tried to cheer yourself up, but it made no difference. 
No matter how much self-care you did to try and relax, your body still craved him. Still wished he was there with you, holding you, teasing you. You felt as though you were going crazy without him.
You even thought about how he would be acting if he were with you, how he would randomly start slow dancing with you in the kitchen when you prepared dinner, how he would joke with you, how he would softly kiss your lips after a long day. How he would tell you stories about his work while in bed, making little patterns on your stomach as you drifted off to sleep, his voice soothing you until your mind fogged over. You supposed you missed the domestic bliss of it all, you missed how your heart leaped whenever he spoke to you, you missed the way his voice sounded whenever he would just mindlessly talk to you. The way his love never failed to make you feel more alive.
Every day without him felt like a sin, like being without him felt wrong. Like being away from him felt like you had committed some sort of crime, and you were doing something wrong.
It hit you again, that pang. After Keigo left, after about a week that’s when you started to feel it. It came in small waves at first, with small little feelings of sadness. When you would have to make dinner for one, when you had to sleep alone. That’s how it started anyway. But now, it had gotten bigger. The waves increased until you were practically drowning in your loneliness. You hated it, you hated everything about it.
Still looking out the window, you quickly wiped a tear that seemed to fall on your cheek.
You weren't sure why you refused to cry, no one would see if you did, no one was around to see you break down. But maybe you didn’t want yourself to admit it, to admit how you felt like you couldn’t live without Keigo by your side. Maybe you didn’t want to see yourself cry, to admit how utterly angry you were at the universe for taking Keigo away for this long.
Perhaps it was wrong of you to want him to come back, maybe it was wrong of you to just want him back in your arms. It probably was, he had a job, and here you were, upset that he wasn’t with you. You just hated it, hated all of it.
He didn’t tell you when he would be back, only that he would be gone for a big mission, he told you how much he would miss you, how he would fly home to you immediately, even if his wings were on fire, he wouldn’t stop till he saw you again.
So you waited by the window, waited for him to fly through the window, to kiss away your tears, to push away your loneliness with his strong, secure, hands. For you to feel him again, for you two to just… be together again.
Yet, you knew that wouldn’t happen. 
Keigo was miles away from Japan, on a secret stupid government mission, you hated it. Was it so much to ask to have your boyfriend back to you? Was it too much to see him again? For his voice to soothe you? All you wanted… was him.
The sky was now darker, the sun had started to set, and the sky brightened with different colors, illuminating its beauty. Normally, you would find something like this beautiful, but without Keigo to enjoy it with you, it made you feel uneasy. It made you feel like you were enjoying some bittersweet moment, but in the end, it just became bitter.
You hated all this, you hated when Keigo had to leave you for so long, you hated that you couldn’t enjoy your boyfriend for long periods of time. But most of all, you hated how selfish you felt.
Keigo was out there, risking himself so the world could be a better place, but here you were, wondering when he would be back. You felt like such an idiot, like a terrible person.
Yet, you couldn’t help it. You just missed him so much, you couldn’t help how lonely you were without him with you, without his calming presence you felt lost, like you had strayed away from him. You hated it, hated feeling so worthless and horrible.
But that didn’t mean you didn’t feel worried about him, quite the opposite. Whenever his name was even mentioned, you couldn’t help but tense up, thinking, “Are they gonna announce that he's ok? That he’s not? What if he never comes home? What if…”
But whenever you had those doubts that intruded your mind, you would always remember what Keigo had told you, “What? You’re worried about me? Why? You know I’ll always come back to you, I love you! I won't leave you, I promise. I’m a hero, I’m strong, I’ll always come back to you, my dove, no matter what. You can always count on me to see you again, even if I can barely stand, I’ll always come home to you. And besides, I think you're the only person who would be willing to put up with someone like me!”
You remembered how you had teased him about how cheesy the line was. But looking back on it, those words kept you going, every time you felt hopeless, you would always come back to those words, those words that would comfort you. Even if they were cheesy, they still reassured you, still helped keep you going even though your world felt like it might collapse on top of you.
You heard a chirp, snapping you out of your thoughts, a red little bird had landed on the window sill, chirping a happy sounding tone. You would normally smile at the cute thing, but even a small bird reminded you of Keigo, making your smile falter. 
There wasn't very much daylight left, but still, just getting outside and finding some nice fresh air would soothe you enough. A breath of fresh air might have been just what you needed, to beath out the loneliness you felt.
You stood from your spot next to the window, stretching as you did so. You haphazardly put on a light sweater and shoes, you would only be gone for a little amount of time. You still had yet to make dinner for yourself.
Locking the door to your home, you set off.
You supposed it really wasn’t your home, it was Keigo’s. After he had made your relationship public, he asked you to move in with him. He had been so cute and kind about the whole thing, constantly making sure you were ok with the move and were fine living with him. He really didn’t want you to feel like you had to do anything that you were uncomfortable with. 
Keigo was always like that though, always making sure you were ok and secure, always checking up on you. But whenever you did the same, asking if he was ok, he would always push you off and tell you some bullshit about how you shouldn’t worry. That was one thing you hated about your boyfriend, how stubborn he was. No matter how much you reassured him that you loved and accepted him, he only got as far as telling you his name, telling you what it meant to him. He told you once, that he just preferred to look onto the future instead of dwindling on the past. You liked the sentiment, but still, you hoped that in the future he would open up to you more.
You walked down the sidewalk of the city. Yet, it seemed more peaceful than it usually was, the sunset in the background, the soft wind, the overall glow of the city that you and Keigo lived in was beautiful. You wished he could see it. You wished he would hold your hand, whispering jokes and praises in your ear, teasing you, and playfully talking about his day.
You were struck with that wave again, that feeling of sadness, of loneliness. It was just so hard without him, you didn’t really think you would miss him this much, this was the first big mission where he would be gone from you, and you hated it, no, you despised it.
You just felt like a piece of you had left, and it hadn’t come back for so long. Some days your mind would start to drift too much, wondering if that knock would come on your door, telling you that Keigo Takami was gone. You tried your best to stifle those thoughts, to push them away. Keigo would come back to you, he promised.
You balled your hands into fists, determined not to cry. You took a few deep breaths in order to calm yourself, trying to stabilize your mind from drifting. If you did cry though, would anyone care? Would anyone ask? What would you even say? The love of my life is risking everything so people will be safe, yet here I am, crying about how lonely I feel. It was annoying that a part of you wanted to cry, while another part of you wanted to push away those feelings, to just shove them down and for them to just go away. You just wanted to feel better again.
In an effort to distract yourself, you looked up at the sunset, trying to think of something other than Keigo. Trying to show your mind that it needed to stop thinking and craving him.
You took a shaky breath as you stopped walking, you had found a nearby park to try and calm your mind. 
You stopped to enjoy the view, but it was all so melancholy. It was all so bitter and wrong, you felt so out of place.
You sighed, perhaps this wasn’t the good idea you thought it was. 
But as you were about to walk off from the sunset, you felt it.
The flash of wind, the red in your vision, and finally, the feeling of a warm and tight embrace around you. The hands that rested on your hips, the chest that was pressed firmly against your back. The smell of the soft breeze, you recognized it. 
At first, You gasped, confused. What was going on? Who was holding you? 
Then you realized, it was Keigo.
The smell, the feeling, the presence, it was all him.
You whipped around to face him, he smiled at you, it was meant to be playful and teasing, but you could see the longing behind it, the way his eyes shone with love and want. The way his hands rubbed light circles on your hips, trying to reassure you he was really there with you, that he was home. 
Before you knew it, your eyes had started to water, you quickly tried to wipe them away, you didn’t want Keigo to see you so upset. 
But Keigo had already pulled you into him, kissing your cheek lightly, “Hey there Dove, did you miss me?”
It was a dumb line on his part, he knew you had missed him, he knew how much you were worried about him, how much you had been thinking about him while he was away.
He rubbed comforting circles on your back, “M-Maybe,” your words were meant to come out playful and teasing, but they came out shaky, which just made Keigo smirk.
You pulled back from him, getting a better look at him. The sunset light hit him perfectly, the sun seemed to glide through his hair, the piercing light set his eyes a glaze. His smile made your stomach flutter, the way he gently caressed you made you feel so safe and warm. His embrace was inviting and intoxicating, and you loved every second of it.
It was then that you realized he was in civilian clothes, a nice orange sweater that gave him an even more glow to his skin, if that was even possible. 
He was just… breathtaking.
You leaned into his lips, you couldn’t stand it anymore, you just missed him so much. 
He leaned into you too, if not more so. You had almost forgotten how warm and soft his lips were, how inviting and sweet they were. How his hands would hold you securely against him, making sure to reassure you that he was there, and he wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
The way he hungrily fed into you, kissing you back with more passion and strength. You had to admit, it was a little rough for him, normally his kisses were soft and careful, but you could tell that he craved you as much as you did him.
But after a few moments, you pulled away. Keigo tried to chase you back to him, tried to bring you back into his oh so lovely lips. But you knew better.
Even if all you wanted to do was to keep going, to kiss Keigo until both of you were sick of kissing one another, you knew that was better to do in the privacy of your home.
Keigo once told you that, “The media is always watching, babe, the last thing we want them to see is both of us kissing each other's faces off.”
It was clear that Keigo’s mind was a bit foggy with longing, you knew you two had to get home. Even if your body ached for Keigo to hold you, how your lips screamed for his, you wanted to savor him, not just rush and ruin it.
“Keigo, we should go home,” But Keigo whined, pulling your hips to him. But you just smiled, “come on Keigo, we can enjoy each other all we want when we get home,” you leaned into him, kissing the top of his nose, “I missed you so much baby, let's savor this, please.”
Keigo nodded, “Yeah you're right, I guess I got a little carried away there.”
You gave him a tired smile, “Believe me, I’m trying to not get too intoxicated myself. I just…” you trailed off, looking down at your hands, “I was so lonely without you Kei. I hated it, I just-”
But Keigo shushed you with a quick kiss on your cheek, “I know baby, me too. It was so hard, not holding you in my arms, not kissing you every night before I went to sleep, not seeing your stunning face,” you rolled your eyes, but Keigo just kissed your hairline lightly, “not to hear your beautiful voice. God, dove, let’s go home before I just say ‘fuck it’ to it all.”
You giggled a bit, you hated to admit it, but Keigo always had a way with words, he always knew what to say to make you smile and feel so much better. But you also hated how much you wished you could do the same to him.
“Come on Keigo, let's go home,” you intertwined your hand with his.
He brought your hand up to his lips, giving your knuckles a gentle kiss, “Lead the way lovebird.”
______
After you both had gotten back to the apartment, only stepping a few feet through the door, your hands were already firmly in Keigo’s hair, dragging him down for a kiss. It was sloppy, but it was passionate and love-filled. The way his hands roughly pulled you into him, the way he would break for a second, looking at you with love in his eyes, only to dive back in. The way his wings would puff when your hands brushed past them, it all felt too right. 
After a while, Keigo pulled away.
Now it was your turn to whine, to try and feel his lips again. “Hush, you cute thing,” he gave you a quick kiss on your nose, “don’t you need food? I don’t think you’ve eaten, have you?”
You glared at him, “No, but who cares! I missed you so much, I-I wished so hard that I could feel your lips again,” you looked away from Keigo, not wanting him to see you so flustered, “And I missed your hands,” you brought his left hand up to your lips, ghosting your lips over his knuckles. You could feel him tense up, so you kissed his palm. When you looked back up at him, he was bright red. 
Oh did you love that sight, when he would get red from embarrassment, from when you got to tease him for a change. You loved the way his wings would puff up, and he would try and calm them down. All of it was just downright cute.
You made your way up to his arm, “I missed these arms around me,” then to his neck, kissing his pulse point lightly “This delicious neck,” you said softly. You heard him gulp, it was clear that even though you craved him, his body and mind seemed to crave you just as much. You nipped at the spot a bit, just to watch his little struggle, but eventually, you made your way up to his lips, whispering against them, “So, Keigo Takami, is it ok if I enjoy myself a bit?”
He let out a light chuckle, but his eyes gave away his longing and desire, “Please do… but we have to eat dinner soon, I’m hungry.”
You sighed, “You ruined it,” but you really couldn’t be happier
_____
Your eyes fluttered open lightly, the light from the window peeking into your eyes.
You groaned, expecting to roll over to a cold, empty part of the bed. To realize that your delightful, kiss filled night was all just a dream. 
But when you did rollover, the other side of the bed was warm, yet still empty. You, still in your morning haze, were confused.
That was, until Keigo walked over to you, with a tray of breakfast foods. Then it all came back to you, how you both barely slept, too busy talking with each other, still wrapped In tight hugs, whispering little, “I love you”s through each kiss you shared.
It was all so lovely. 
You smiled up at him from your position on the bed, “What’s all this?”
He just smiled back at you, the sunlight mixing with his complexion made his skin so angelic, “I thought we could have some breakfast in bed. I-I kinda feel a little bad.” His puffy eyebrows knit together, his eyes darted away from yours.
You gave him a confused look, “Why’s that?”
He sighed, placing the tray down while sitting next to you on the bed. He lightly stroked your check, “I left for so long, baby, I know how lonely you were without me. I wished I could have been there, to hold you and kiss away your worry about me. I hate feeling helpless, especially when it’s with you.”
You smiled at him, “You have a way with words, Mr. Takami.”
He gave a little chuckle, leaning down to your lips, his hands still grabbing your hips lightly, pushing you firmly down on the bed, “And you have a way with my heart, my love.”
______
Of course, that wasn’t the end of Keigo’s pampering. Not only of you, but also of himself as well. 
He loved it when the two of you had a day off together. After you both ate breakfast in bed, he wouldn’t let you leave.
“Babbbbbe, you can't just leave me by myself. I need your cuddles and love,” he whined.
“Kei, sweety, I have to use the bathroom.”
When you got back though, he pulled you back into him, “You aren’t leaving me that early!”
You giggled, “Who said I wanted to birdboy.”
He nuzzled his face into your neck, kissed you lightly, whispering soft, lovely things, “I love you,” “I missed you so much,” “Your so warm baby.” He said each one after each kiss he left on your skin.
You relaxed into his touch, gently running your hands through his hair, down to his feathers.
He shuddered slightly, but didn’t stop you. You brushed them carefully, making sure not to damage them or irritate them in any way. You made sure you were being soft and, overall, gentle with him. Making sure when he would twitch you shudder as your fingers worked through his wings, they were good twitches and shudders.
“Mmmm, Baby,” he said, his face still planted firmly in your neck, “that feels nice. Thank you.”
“Thank you Keigo,” he kissed your neck again, gently, “thank you for coming back to me, thank you for pushing away my loneliness.”
“Oh, Dove,” he said, “thank you for waiting.”
You sighed, you loved this. You loved mornings where the two of you could just relax and bathe in each other, drinking one another up, taking your time savoring him as he did the same to you. The way both of you would just happily cuddle and lean into one another's touch. You loved the way Keigo would tiredly whisper sweet words to you, loved how his lips, although sloppy, would kiss your skin lightly. How his hands would rub your skin, relaxing you into his touch, making you lean that much more into him.
You just loved his presence.
“Keigo,” you said lightly.
“Yes sweetheart,” his words tickled your neck.
“I missed you.”
He rose from his spot on your bed, making you whine.
But you stopped when his eyes looked into yours, the way they were so intense, yet at the same time, so goddamn gooey. He just looked so soft, so utterly in love you thought the whole thing couldn’t be real, no one person could look down at someone with such pure love and adoration.
But Keigo did, “I missed you too, let me kiss away all the loneliness, all your longing, I’m here baby, and I’m not leaving anytime soon.”
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estellaelysian · 4 years ago
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Ocean kiss
Set in Oh book 1 chapter 10. Missing this energy.
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She treaded softly on the cool grass, its sweet, ticklish smell filling her nostrils as her heart hammered in her chest wildly. She had left the room, trying to walk properly as she ran down the stairs and through the long posh corridors. But now, as the cold wind washed against her uncovered shoulders, she thought perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. It was cold enough already without the warmth being taken away, but now, she was well and truly alone.
Some people were mingling about near the pool, so instead, she turned and started toward deep grove of trees. There atleast, she hoped to find some quiet.
A deep whine rung in her ears ever since she had banged that door shut behind her, leaving him alone in there. Hot frantic tears had threatened to escape, but she held them at bay. This was not – she was not going to let it hurt her enough to make her forget that she wasn’t here for all this. She was here to help him find a cure for Naveen, and she’d do that.
She had somehow forgotten that when she stood with him on that balcony. Maybe that was the issue.
Laying back on the grass, she stared at the moonless night which stretched above her. It seemed to have parted with its long time friend too.
She wished for all the lights to be turned off so she could just commingle with the darkness till the break of dawn and forget that any of this had ever happened.
But how could she? It was too precious, too good to be forgotten just like that. It stung, it inflicted pain, and yet, she held the night close to her heart.
Maybe she’d just keep it to herself and make it last for a long time. Maybe that was all she could do. Maybe she’d let herself stand behind ethics and rules and hold one thing to herself, for he had made it abundantly clear that no one could ever know about this, that they couldn’t do this again, that it wasn’t right.
She liked herself with him, but it wasn’t enough.
His summer blue eyes made it feel like she was losing herself in the depths of them.
And just like that, she was back at the sea, strolling by the water’s edge as the waves lapped at her feet. Walking as the first rays of sun pierced the sky with their intensity. Closing her eyes and feeling the wind in her hair.
That was how she felt when she was with him.
It was not like her to give up, but maybe she could manage to let it all go after all.
Just the thought made her laugh, which came out like a choked cry because her throat was painfully tight by now.
She really needed to breathe.
She tried to distract herself by taking deep breaths, waiting for the warm comfort the moonless night could provide her with, but it never came.
Perhaps the night was missing the moon too.
***
The only place to be alone seemed to be the dark groove of trees, hidden away from the public view.
It had been an hour since he had heard her heels click away. Almost.
He had pretended to be asleep, just like she had done for so long as she could before leaving. And then, he just stared at the ceiling, his arms folded behind his head. It had taken all he had to resist himself from glimpsing outside the window to see where she was going.
She couldn’t even bear his company now. It stung incredibly, but after all, he had to live with that, no matter what he thought, because he had made his choice, and she had made hers.
It didn’t matter how much he…
He had tossed the blanket aside, sitting up and glancing outside at the darkness that had descended on the world. Well, half of it anyway. It didn’t seem like she was near the pool, which meant, he was free to go downstairs and take a very, very cold swim, letting the coldness take all the warmth away.
One more glance through the window, and he was free to leave the confines of this pathetic room which almost felt suffocating.
After carefully avoiding gazes and certain people, he found himself at the pool, then cursed because it was still occupied.
But then, rounding up to the dark copse of trees which huddled together had seemed like a good idea until he saw her, laying on the grass, hugging her knees close to her chest and staring up at the sky.
And then she saw him. It was hard to make out her expression, but he could tell she had been crying.
‘Dr. Ramsey,’ she said, her bold and daring gaze matching his. Damn, she hid herself well. ‘I was expecting to see you here.’
‘Sorry to disappoint,’ he bit out, wondering why this had to happen to him at all.
She smiled. Actually smiled before turning back to the sky.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like her. He couldn’t even describe what he felt for her in words. He wanted to be the sky for her. That sky, which would never fall short for her to fly. He wanted to be the ground to her, which would never fall short for her to walk on. He wanted her to be the light of the day and the shine of the stars, that was his only aim. He wanted her to fly high, and not stumble in her aim because of him.
She was his oasis. He could see her, but he couldn’t quite reach her.
‘Mind if I join you?’
She nodded. It was a terrible, terrible idea, he thought as the memories of the night flooded his mind. He pressed his eyes shut, fighting against instinct, fighting against himself as he took a seat beside her.
The breeze had somehow stopped. Even the hushed murmur from the crowd near the pool seemed to fade away as he matched her gaze to the sky which was barren, without the moon, without the stars, without its beauty.
In the void of silence that followed, Ethan could feel his heart race against his will. He wondered if she knew…
‘Why are you here?’ she asked, her voice a soft murmur.
‘Couldn’t sleep.’
Perhaps he had lost his coherence, the ability to form full sentences, or perhaps, this was all a dream. Maybe he could still give in and be happy for himself.
No.
This was maddening, the effect her presence had on him. He’d have to figure out a way to avoid this. They would be working together after all. He was her boss.
Her boss.
His gut twisted unpleasantly at all that the word entailed.
But then he thought about all he wanted her to do. He couldn’t be the obstacle. He couldn’t ruin her career just like that.
She stood abruptly, brushing away stray strands of hair before turning to look at him. ‘I am going back inside,’ she whispered. ‘Perhaps you came out to be alone anyway.’
That was it. He stood too, and he knew well enough that he shouldn’t have done that, but he caught her arm, stopping her before she could walk away. Again.
‘Ethan…’
‘Alishka, stay. Please stay.’
‘What do you want?’ she asked, and for the life of him, he didn’t know the answer to that question. What did he want? Did he want this? Did he want to hurt her again? Once had been bad enough, but again?
‘I know what you’ll say, trust me, I do, but–’
Then he kissed her. With abundant release, just as he had wanted to.
He kissed her.
***
She felt breathless even though his kiss was tender at first. He was willing to go against all reason this once, and yet…
Tomorrow, they’d be back in their monotonous roles – he her employer and she a mere intern. They’d have to leave this all here, right here in the dark groove of trees where they stood now as he deepened the kiss, holding her against him.
A breeze fluted through the trees, leaving an unforgiving bite as his warm hands found her waist and then her back. It was as if his fingers burned through her. Her longing was raging its fire inside her as she tangled her fingers in his hair, wondering what she could do to make this last forever.
And then, for her own sanity, because she knew she couldn’t make this last forever, because she knew she didn’t have that potential, neither the power, she pried her lips away from his and turned away, for she couldn’t see his face in that moment. She had to do it. For herself, and for him too.
‘We should go.’
‘Alishka…’
What would he say next? That he was sorry? That he couldn’t help it? Or that they couldn’t do this again?
‘I know,’ she whispered, knowing that he could say nothing more, that they could do nothing more. ‘I know we can’t let this happen again,’ she said, giving him a melancholy smile.
She didn’t see who he was, that was the issue. She didn’t see clear enough. The picture she had painted had been fleeting, lost today.
And she would be to blame.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she said, ‘I should get some sleep. And so should you. We have work tomorrow.’
And a flight together too.
She now understood why the night had been so indifferent towards her. It must have been upset too.
‘Good night,’ she murmured before turning away.
**********
A/N: Just felt super nostalgic, so here it is, my first Miami fic.
Thank you all for reading and all the love, I am very grateful 💖
Taglist: Let me know if you want to be added or removed.
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tinisprout · 3 years ago
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No Doubt in Us
Chapter Six (PART 2) - Looking Back to Move Forward (2)
Fiance!Haknyeon x Fem!reader
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Synopsis: Life is great, you have your dream job, you finally got your first big break, and you are now engaged to the love of your life. Happier than you’ve ever been, you live life one day at a time. Then one day a terrible accident happens leaving you in a coma. Where you finally awake, everything is not as you remember. Amnesia takes away 3 years of your memory, forgetting your beloved Fiance. Faced with a reality that seems unreal, as your mind is stuck in a past with uncomfortable memories, your future with him is uncertain.
Send me an ask if you want to be put on the taglist for this series
Taglist:@my-summer-night @deputyjuyeon @juhaktheoneforme @sunqnew
CW/TW: talks of an old stalker, harassment, violence (from sangyeon and stalker)
Word count: 4K+
Looking at your Instagram account you regretted your habit of deleting your old posts. The image previews you saw were all unfamiliar. You thought about Chanhee’s words, you wanted more than anything to move on, but you felt the need to defend your way of thinking even if it wasn’t completely right. Maybe looking through these would help you make a decision, so you clicked on the oldest post.
Almost all the posts had mentioned Haknyeon, how you interacted with and talked about him, it was obvious you were head over heels for him, there wasn’t any doubt in your head he felt the same. You felt a lump form in your throat, you seemed very happy with him, so free from the trauma, safe? Chanhee said to believe in the you that chose him, seeing the love you had for him displayed in front of you so plainly, you did trust him so much. It suddenly hit you, finally realizing just how terrible you’ve been to him. You’ve been so selfish not for a second taking into consideration how he’s doing.
You never apologized for what you did at the hospital, just how awful he must have felt in that moment when he was waiting for you so earnestly for you to wake up. The talk you had together, was all one-sided, you didn’t ask what he wanted to do, how he felt about the situation, you just said what you wanted. Even though you don’t know him, he is like a stranger to you, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You felt tears plop on your chest, you didn’t know when you started crying.
You felt sorry for Haknyeon and yourself. Hurting him was never your intention, but you were sure that’s exactly what you were doing. Why did you have to lose your memory? You found yourself yearning for that happiness that freedom. You wanted to apologize to him, you wanted to move forward.
Roughly wiping away your tears you calmed yourself down. Chanhee was right, wasn’t he? Even if we don’t stay together, It would be better for me to remember everything. I want to try and take a chance on him again. You thought about how you would apologize to him when he came back.
***
The sound of the door unlocking interrupted your thoughts. You got up from the couch and moved closer to the door. As it opened your eyes met with the back of Haknyeon’s head, facing the person behind him as they pushed him into the house. The person behind him faced you, giving a smile in greeting. This must be Hyunjae.
Seeing this, Haknyeon followed Hyunjae’s eyes turning around almost jumping in surprise. He didn’t expect you to be waiting by the door and he stopped in his tracks. His eyes scanned over you, it had been too long since he got a proper look at you, admittedly that was his fault. He noticed that your eyes seemed to be puffy. Was she crying?
He was brought out of his thoughts when Hyunjae pushed him forward. “I’ve brought Haknyeon as per Chanhee’s request,” Hyunjae said in a tone like he was stating serious orders. It made you smile a little.
“Thank you, Hyunjae.” He nodded back at you.
“I hope you two can... figure things out. Bye.” He waves his hand at you and pats Haknyeon’s back as he leaves.
“Let’s sit down, we need to talk.” Saying this you step out of the way letting him go ahead of you.
“Yes, we do.” Haknyeon sits in the same spot as last time. This time instead of sitting on the couch again you sit on the floor across the coffee table so you both are at eye level.
“I know I was the one that did most of the talking last time, but can I go first again, I need to say something important.”
“Yes, go ahead.” He had some important things to say too, but to him, you were a priority.
“First, I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for the things I said and did at the hospital. I’m sorry for being selfish,” you clenched your hands together as they rested on the table. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for not being able to trust you. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done since I woke up.”
“I need to apologize too. I’m sorry that I left you home this whole time when I could have been helping you. I was selfish, too scared to see you, I’m sorry that I didn’t put you first, considering your situation. I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you and didn’t say what I felt.”
“No, but you wouldn’t have done any of that if it weren’t for me.” Your face was full of remorse. Haknyeon put a hand over your clenched ones, pulling you out of your self-loathing. He pulls his hand away after catching your attention.
“Don’t say that y/n. We could play the blame game all day long, but we both did some wrong things, in the end. I think… instead of trying to blame ourselves, we should try and right our wrongs.” You look into his eyes and slowly nod your head, his words giving you the courage to say the rest of what you need to say.
“I’ve told you about my stalker before, haven’t I?” Haknyeon is shocked that you brought up that topic suddenly.
“Yes, a long time ago. But why are you bringing this up, did something happen?” He became a lot more concerned.
“No, thank God. I-I just need to tell you about it.”
“What? I already said you told me, you don’t have to, I know.”
“I know. I’m doing this for me. I think if I don’t talk about it with you, then I won’t be able to move on. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for that, just… please, don’t push yourself.” He could tell you were very serious about wanting to tell him. If it was going to help you, he wouldn’t tell you not to do it, but he still didn’t feel good about it. He remembers just how hard it was for you to tell him the first time.
“Mh,” you take a deep breath to calm your nerves, calling these memories to the forefront of your mind. “I had a co-worker I was acquainted with. I would only see him the few times I went to discuss business at my company, we chatted a few times. One day he asked me out on a date and I thought, why not, he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. So we went on a date, it wasn’t too bad, so we went on another.
“After the second date, I realized we wouldn’t be a good fit for each other. So when he asked me on another date I said, no, I didn’t want to string him on when I wasn’t interested anymore. I thought he took the rejection pretty well, soon after I started getting a lot of messages from him. I didn’t think much of it at first cause we had become a little closer, there shouldn’t have been a problem just being friends, but then he started asking questions that were too personal and intrusive. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop, but the same kind of messages kept coming so I blocked him. I didn’t see him again till I came back to the company, but we didn’t talk to each other, so I thought that he was over me and that was the end of it.” You rubbed and squeezed at your hands.
“Just breathe, you’re doing great.” Following his words, you take another deep breath.
“Me and Chanhee’s apartment building wasn’t too far from my company and we didn’t have a car, so I would just walk there. On my way back I felt like someone was looking at me, following me. I thought I was just paranoid, there were so many people on the street at this time there is a lot of people going the same way as me, and I went home without a problem. After that, I would get that feeling a lot when I was outside, but I never noticed anyone out of the ordinary, so I didn’t know if I was just being paranoid. There were times I was so scared I would go into the nearest building and call Chanhee so I wasn’t alone. I stopped going out as often as I did.
“Eventually, a box addressed to me came, inside it was a note that said, ‘let’s meet soon.’ There were also pictures of me walking outside… and one of me and Chanhee talking on the balcony, his face was X-ed out.” Your face twisted as you thought about back then. It wasn’t just you that was in danger, Chanhee was too and you had no idea who you should be looking out for.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, Chanhee is okay. You can stop if it’s too much,” Haknyeon said with concern, he wished he could hold you and comfort you like the first time you told him.
“No, I’m almost done. Chanhee said we should keep it as evidence, take it to the police but we couldn't do anything because we didn't know who it was. When we could, we would go out together to do even the smallest of errands so we wouldn't be alone. One of the days we went out together to buy some stuff from the convenience store, Chanhee was busy that day so it was a little late. We realized we forgot to buy something while on our way back, we were pretty close so we walked back.
“I waited by the corner outside with the bags so we wouldn't look like we were stealing or anything, while Chanhee went back inside. Then I began to feel uncomfortable being out by myself, others were walking out every once in a while but not many. So I decided I would just go in too, but someone pulled me back before too long. It was him, the one I went on a date with. I didn't suspect him at first, but I told him I needed to go.” You closed your eyes, heart-pounding, reliving the moment again.
“He didn't let go, so I said it again, but I was upset that time. He grabbed my face saying that he waited so long to meet me again. I knew this wasn’t some coincidence at this point, that man was the one stalking me, so I tried to retaliate by swinging the bags in my arms at him and yelling. I could only keep him away for a little bit before he got the best of me, taking the bags from me. He pushed and held me against the wall.
“I don’t know exactly what he was planning to do to me, but It was thanks to your friend..., our friend, Sangyeon, that nothing else happened to me. He pulled him off of me and asked if I was okay and if I knew him. All it took was a word from me and Sangyeon decked him." A sneer came to your face thinking about Sangyeon giving that man what he deserved. You found yourself wishing you could have gotten a few hits on the disgusting prick yourself.
Looking at your expression, Haknyeon was a little surprised. Compared to the last time you told him you seemed to be a lot more ticked off and agitated. It was understandable because he felt the same. Haknyeon wasn’t a violent person, but that man would have to count his blessings if Haknyeon ever saw him. He also felt incredibly grateful to Sangyeon again.
"Thank you for telling me again, but why did you feel you needed to tell me specifically?"
"Well, that's part of the second thing I wanted to talk to you about. That whole situation is the reason I was pushing you away, I was scared, I didn't know if I could trust you, I was too afraid to try. I looked through some things and I came to realize that I was in love with you and I trusted you a lot." The words that came out of your mouth were exactly what you thought but saying it that bluntly was a little embarrassing, it was like a confession.
"Mhh." Haknyeon felt a little embarrassed by her words too, covering his mouth with his hand discreetly, he felt a smirk coming to his face.
"Well um, I want to move on, I don't want to be held back by those bad memories. Chanhee said that regardless of what happens in the future it would be best if I could try to remember the things I’ve forgotten. There isn’t much I can do if I don’t remember, but I won’t try to avoid my past anymore. I have a question and I think I already know the answer, but I want to hear you say it, so I know we can do something we both want to try. Haknyeon, do you love me?” Haknyeon shifted in his seat and he put his hand back on the table.
“Yes, I love you.” Your eyes met his steadfast gaze, he was so serious at that moment.
“Then if it’s okay with you, can we try again?”
“Do you mean try dating again?” Haknyeon tilts his head to the side.
“Yes.” Haknyeon laughs a little.
“Ah, that’s what I was going to ask.”
“I can’t promise that I can give you my full trust immediately or that I will fall in love with you again, but I’ll try to be more open with you.”
“y/n you don’t have to push yourself to open your heart to me when you don’t feel ready. We are partners, so we will work together to make this work. I will also work hard to gain your trust and be someone that you can be comfortable around.”
“That’s… right.” You gave a small smile, he really is so kind and understanding of your feelings.
“I love you, but I don’t want my feelings to burden you. If there comes a day when you feel like I’m not right for you anymore…, then just let me know. I won’t try to keep you by my side.”
“... What about you? We are engaged, we had the intention of spending the rest of our lives together. Will you be okay?” He said it with such ease it put a bad taste in your mouth.
“No, I won’t be okay.” Haknyeon’s eye trialed down looking at his hands. “It hurts to even think about you not being with me. But I don’t want you to stay with me because you feel burdened by my feelings, but because you love me. Knowing that you stayed because of guilt or pity, that would hurt more than just letting you go. If being with me only makes you unhappy, you might even come to resent me and that’s the last thing I want.”
His voice had a slight tremble to it. He brought his hands up to cover his eyes, apologizing. You wanted to do something, but you weren’t sure what you could do to comfort him.
“Don’t apologize, I understand. Let’s… just try to live life in the moment and instead of worry about what could happen in the future, we can try to make the best of the present.” Maybe your words were a little hypocritical, but you would try your damndest to live up to them. Haknyeon sniffles and nods at your words, still covering his eyes. He inhales deeply.
“I’m okay I’m okay.” You weren’t sure if he was saying that to you or himself. He rubs at his eyes then pulls his hands away and tries to give you a reassuring smile. This was a truly pitiable man.
“Alright alright, let’s stop being so depressing right now. Um, question. I’ve been wondering how you were able to avoid me so easily?” This is a little more light-hearted, right?
“Oh, well you are a pretty deep sleeper, and I figured out your sleeping schedule a long time ago, well at least when you aren’t working.”
“What about the shower?”
“We have showers at the dance studio, so I would just take a bunch of clothes.”
“So sneaky.” You say playfully while pouting your lips.
“Hey, I’m about as sneaky as you.”
“I feel like that doesn’t really help your case.”
“...Touche. You are pretty sneaky too.”
“Oh my goodness, before I forget! My parents are coming over tomorrow around noon, sorry for not telling you.”
“Oh actually, your mom texted me and told me.” You give him an inquisitive look.
“Are you close with my parents?”
“Not to brag but they kinda love me.” Haknyeon displayed a smug smile on his face.
“Ha, really now? We’ll have to see about that.” You yawned after those words. You weren’t too tired yet, but you figured it’s better to sleep now and wake up early, to get the house in order, for your parents' visit. “I think I’m gonna go crash now. I need to wake up early and clean up the house a little bit before my parents come.”
“I can help you then.” You smiled at the offer.
“Thanks.” You stood up stretching in place, needless to say between the two of you sleeping together in the same bed was a little too intimate, though you still felt bad about making him sleep on the bed all this time. I’ll make it up to him soon! “Also, if you didn’t get to eat yet there are still some leftovers in the fridge.”
“I ate before I got here.” Courtesy of Hyunjae, he thought food would cheer Haknyeon up and give him a little more time to think.
“Mh, Good night then.” You got out of his way so he could take the couch.
“Goodnight, y/n.” You were comforted by the gentle smile he showed you. Maybe we can make this work. You turned your back to him going upstairs to your room. Plopping yourself on the bed, you moved around making yourself comfortable, pulling the blanket over you.
Sleep did not take long to come to you, but it wouldn’t be peaceful.
You jolted awake with a sharp intake of breath. You could only be thankful that the nightmare wasn’t related to that incident. Fully awake now you felt hyper-aware of everything. The hum of the a/c and rustling of the leaves blowing in the wind, the shadows that danced across the room walls from the window, and how small you felt in this big bed.
You check your phone for the time, 1:26 a.m., and decided that you couldn’t sleep up here tonight. Sitting up and moved closer to the big window, looking out into the living room where you saw Haknyeon sleeping cramped on the couch. Crawling out of bed you take the comforter and your phone with you. You didn’t have any intention of waking Haknyeon up, seeing and hearing the presence of another person around you was enough to calm you down. You quietly laid the blanket out close to the couch.
Laying in one half you use the other half to cover your body. It wasn’t as comfortable as the bed, but you felt better as you listened to Haknyeon’s soft breathing. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, relaxing, letting yourself slowly fall back to sleep.
***
Haknyeon turned on the couch, well, as much as he could. Moving positions was a hassle and tended to wake him up for a bit. After turning he laid there for a few seconds then let a deep sigh through his nose out, restroom. Shifting up he gets off the couch, eyes almost closed as he tries to make his way to the restroom. He didn’t expect to trip and fall on the ground, completely waking him from his stupor.
“Owww.” A groan came out from the object he tripped on and out popped, y/n’s head from under the blanket, sending a frown to Haknyeon. He squints his eyes trying to focus on you, making sure he isn’t still dreaming. His eyes went wide when he realized you were actually there and he scrambled to his feet, going to your side.
“Oh my God, honey, uh, y/n, I’m sorry!” Well, you were fully up again, and it didn’t feel like you got any more sleep.
“It’s whatever, I’m fine,” you say with a pout. Haknyeon could tell he upset you and he felt terrible. Who wouldn’t be upset about being kicked while sleeping, even if it was an accident? “Are you okay?”
“Huh, oh yeah, I think so.” He smiled apologetically at you. It was an accident so you couldn’t stay mad especially when he looked at you like that.
“Why did you wake up?” Haknyeon wondered why that was important right now, but he still answered you.
“I needed to use the bathroom.”
“Go then.”
“Eh?”
“Go. I’ll still be here when you get back.” You looked like you accepted your fate of getting little sleep tonight. Haknyeon left for the bathroom and you sat up, uncovering yourself. You take the comforter and spread it across the floor. You go to get the pillows left in your room, bringing them downstairs.
The living room still bathed in darkness, you made your way back to the makeshift bed, placing the pillows a reasonable distance from each other. Taking one spot, you lay back down waiting for Haknyeon. When he comes out of the bathroom he sees you laying there looking off to space.
"What's going on? Why did you come down here?" He says as he walks up to your laying body and looks down at you.
"I had a nightmare…"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm fine and don't worry it wasn't about that. I was just a little scared to sleep alone after it…" Okay, that was way more embarrassing to say out loud than I thought.
"And what about that?" He points at the pillow next to yours.
"Well, I was hoping that you would keep me company and I figured that the floor would be better than our small couch. You don't have to sleep like a sardine over here." The last part sounded like you were trying to convince him, which sounded a little funny to him.
"Are you sure? This is like the same as sharing a bed isn't it?"
"No, it's not, we're on the floor. Plus my pillow is here and yours is over there, they aren't exactly next to each other." The mental gymnastics you went through to try and differentiate the two. Haknyeon wouldn't argue it if you were comfortable with it.
"Alright, let me get some blankets." Haknyeon goes to the small storage closet and pulls out two blankets. Walking back he takes the spot across from you, handing you a blanket and awkwardly laying down. "Can you not fall asleep?" You both cover yourselves.
"Hmm, I think I was asleep for a while, but then there was the nightmare. After that, it took me a long time to fall asleep. Then you woke me up, but it honestly felt like I didn't even get an extra second of sleep. So, I feel like I'm completely awake right now."
"Sorry."
"It was an accident, I forgive you." You turn your body to the side facing Haknyeon. "Anyways, can we talk for a bit? If you're tired it's fine, we don't have to."
"Lucky you. I also happen to be very awake right now. What did you want to talk about?"
"I don't really know much about you. Tell me about yourself."
"Be more specific."
"Uh, like your favorite color or your hobbies." Haknyeon smiled, these questions were like basic first date questions. He answered your questions thoughtfully, both of you having moments where you went on long tangents, hours passing you both by without notice. The sun starts to peek through the horizon, making the room brighter little by little, going unnoticed as you both happily chat with each other.
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hotchley · 3 years ago
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that’s when i could finally breathe
Me: oh yeah, I am definitely going on a fanfic writing break. Also me: this. 
As always, I have no idea what I’ve done. I really was taking a break, but then I was listening to Clean and... this happened. All of my pieces have been weirdly cathartic, and I think this one was just like: HAHA PROJECTION!!
I also did not proofread this, and wrote it in one day, so... do with that what you will :) 
Also, do not comment on my inability to come up with decent titles. I know. I know this is a terrible title, but I HAD NO BETTER IDEAS OKAY!!!
Word Count: 2289
Trigger Warnings: child abuse, funerals, death, past suicidal thoughts, grief, self-destructive behaviour (Hotch does not pull his hair out, but he does have thoughts about doing so)
read on ao3!
He has always found a sense of peace in the rain.
Where other people would run to try and find shelter, Aaron has always loved to just stand and let it soak through his clothes to his skin, chilling his bones and body. Haley had found it endearing as a teenager. 
As an adult, it had concerned her.
He could tell her it was nothing till he was blue in the face, but there was a sense of panic that came with looking out the window to see the clouds weeping, combined with her husband’s lack of presence in their apartment.
More than once, he would come home, shivering and teeth chattering, but smiling. She would force him to change, to wrap himself in a blanket, but he would usually be too dazed to do so without her assistance. He caught a cold more than once.
Jack has inherited his love for the rain. His love, like everything else about him, is childish and innocent though. A love for jumping in puddles and splashing his parents. A fascination with the different types of weather, and a love for the yellow coat that has a duck on the hood that was a gift from Penelope.
Aaron’s love for the rain can be described in one word. The same word Haley has always used to describe the way he loves everything. His love for the rain is complex. It is born from the best and worst moments of his life.
His love for the rain comes from the little boy that wore his heart on his sleeve. Who wanted nothing more than to turn the terrible things that happened into a story, and who just wanted to use his brain to find a reason for all the bad things that seemed to keep happening.
It rained the day of his father’s funeral. His mother and Sean shared an umbrella. Haley tried to get him to stand under hers, but he refused, choosing to stand in it, letting it numb the fire in his stomach. He didn’t shed any tears at the funeral. He had already mourned the death of his father. He had mourned when he was eleven, and learnt that his father did not love him. Not in the way he was meant to. Not in a way that was right.
The rain made it look like he was crying. It soaked his hair and dripped onto the collar of his coat, and when his uncle drove him and the last people that knew the truth about Mr Hotchner, his mother seemed to realise what he had been doing. She chastised him, but it was weak and with no real threat.
Aaron would confess to Haley, months later, that the rain had made him feel like he was being listened to. Like the God he had stopped believing in believed his father was a bad man, and the rain had been to disrupt the final event where anyone would truly care for him. The rain made him feel like there was a happy ending at the end of the tunnel waiting for him.
It made him feel like he could breathe again.
When Haley kissed him for the first time, it was raining. They had been running home from their date, not expecting the summer night to turn out like that, and he had paused because of the stitch in his side. 
She had turned around, laughing hysterically because of course this had happened. Of course their first date, which she had spent hours preparing for, Jessica styling her hair and convincing her the dress she had picked was perfect, ended in rain. With her hair coming loose from the pins she had slid into it. With Aaron’s shirt plastered to his skin. If she had stepped close enough, she could almost see the scars on his back. 
She wouldn’t ask though. Not today. 
He looked at her, slightly apologetic, and she was once again struck by just how pretty he was. His eyelashes were longer than she had first realised, and the rain seemed to drip off of them in a way she had only ever seen in the movies.
His hair was an untamed mess. Her heart had dropped a little when he rang her doorbell, because she liked the chaos of his usual style, and seeing it without a hair out of place made her feel like he was trying to be a different person. The rain had ruined it all though, and it now fell onto his forehead and stuck to his face in a way she loved.
To everyone else in their little town, he likely looked like the villain. Like the demon creeping in through the window to steal the beautiful princess away to their terrible castle. But Haley is not everyone else. And to her, Aaron looks like the dashing prince, ready to save the heroine from the terrible prejudice of her home.
So when he opened his mouth, probably to ask her if everything was okay, she took a step forward, placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. It was messy and wet and awkward, but it was their first. And it was special.
Her cheeks were flushed when she pulled away. Aaron just stared at her for a few moments, something like panic written all over his face. But then that panic gave way to something else, and Haley felt like she was watching someone realise they were in love.
It was more beautiful than she could’ve ever imagined. 
He smiled at her, still bashful after the events of the evening, and held his arm out to her. She took it, allowing him to walk her all the way to her front door, where he placed a single kiss to her cheek.
He laughed, once he was out of her line of sight. He laughed, and he ran through the puddles, splashing the water everywhere, and he let out loud cheers because the night was silent and only the stars were there to keep him company.
Haley Brooks liked him. No. She loved him.
It made him feel like he could live again.
The moment he felt clean, like the blood had been washed from his hands, like he could breathe again, like he could exist and not feel like there had been some massive mistake, it was raining. Haley had been dead for six months, and it had been six brutal months of cases, of processing his grief, of shutting down in front of the team.
Of teaching Jack that being sad was part of life, and that being happy did not mean he was forgetting Mom, or a terrible person. Of wishing there was someone to hold his hand, just for a moment.
Of flashing Jessica little smiles, because he had lost the first woman to love him the way love was supposed to be, but Jessica had lost her baby sister, and nothing was ever going to bring her back to life. Not his own self-destruction. Not his guilt. Not his pain. Not the way he threw himself into cases that caused the ink to blur before his eyes.
Not the way he was trying so hard to teach his son exactly what love was so he would grow up unafraid to jump in head first, and would always believe in its existence.
Jessica asked if Jack could stay with her for a few days. She had a break in between one project finishing and the next starting, and she was going to use it to look at some of the things Haley had left at her house. Aaron was yet to deal with the things in the house and in storage. He just couldn’t do it.
But Jessica wanted to start, and she wanted Jack to see some of the things. He spoke to Jack, and Jack’s therapist, about the trip, and when both people signed off on it, he packed his son a bag and dropped his son off at his aunt’s for the weekend.
The quietness of the apartment had a greater impact on him than he thought it would’ve. He had gotten used to the sound of Jack racing around. Of Jessica washing dishes. Of their quiet existences that left a mark on every inch on every wall of the convenient location that had somehow evolved into a home- something he thought he’d lost forever when Anderson handed him the divorce papers.
He couldn’t handle the silence. It was suffocating. It reminded him of his childhood house, and of walking on eggshells. It reminded him of the thirty-four days he felt in silence, recovering from stab wounds he wished had killed him, and mourning the loss of his family.
So he drives. And he drives. And he drives.
And he somehow finds himself at Gideon’s cabin. He’d only been there twice since he left the team. Once to pick Reid up once he had the strength to phone and say that he’d found a letter, but he didn’t know what he was meant to do, but Gideon was gone and he didn’t know why everyone always left. Once to pick Rossi up, after the case with the three children that ended with no real sort of justice.
Gideon left him a key. It was in the drawer of his desk, with no explanation. No letter. No apology. Hotch had taken it, and attached it to the keyring that held his house keys. He’d never used it though. 
Not before now.
Because that day, when he goes to Gideon’s cabin, he lets himself in. He walks through the different rooms, smiling at the small traces of his former mentor that still remain there, and the pieces of the other team members that have somehow found themselves a home in the various areas.
He exits out the back door.
Haley had taken him here once. After she found out she was pregnant, he was meant to step down and take a transfer. They’d had it all planned out. Then he’d gotten a phone call saying there was a case, and that case had been Adrian Bale so before he knew what was going on, he was pushed into the role of Unit Chief and trying to rebuild a team that was never meant to have been his.
She had taken him here to remind him of all the reasons he couldn’t leave. Of all the lives he would feel responsible for if he acted selfishly. And he had looked at her, with such love in his eyes, and agreed with her. It had been a quiet trip. A peaceful trip. A warm visit. They had been together, still the teenagers that linked hands during the final bows of their performance.
Haley was dead, and he was left to patch up his own pieces. The visit had been tense and silent, but the uncomfortable type, and even as he walked through the cabin, he wondered why exactly he had bothered coming here. He didn’t know what he was trying to achieve, or what he thought this was going to do. He just knew it was something he needed to do.
When he stepped back out into the woods that surrounded the cabin, the rain started.
He had never believed in signs, not truly, but this one was too big to be anything but that. It was pouring. Enough to cause the branches to sag with the weight of water. Enough to create proper puddles that could be jumped in. Enough to remind him of the first time Haley had kissed him, and how that simple touch had brought him back to life. Enough to remind him of his father’s funeral, and how the feel of the cold had reminded he had no longer had to be afraid.
It was loud enough to drown out the sounds of people.
He had one chance to do this. One chance to see whether or not his love for the rain would still help him the way it always had.
He screamed. He fell to his knees, and he fisted his hands in his hair. He didn’t pull it out, but he tugged at it, and Haley wasn’t there to grip his hands till he could trust himself.
He screamed. And he cried. And he begged for an answer. And he shoved his blazer off, not even caring that his trousers were stained with mud that would likely never come out, and not giving a damn about the cold.
He screamed. Until his throat went dry and his words seemed to fade into nothing, not only because the rain swallowed his noises, but because he couldn’t be loud. 
He screamed until he was soaked and the rain had caused him to go numb and start shivering.
And then he turned around and walked back inside. As he passed the bathroom, something caught his eye. A towel he had thought he had just misplaced whilst on a case, and a hoodie he’d assumed he’d given to Sean and forgotten about. Almost like Gideon had guessed what he would be doing here, and wanted to apologise for what he had done.
Haley would not want him to get sick. Neither would Jessica. Neither would the team. Neither would Jack.
So he went into the bathroom, and he dried himself off, and he zipped the hoodie up. And then he took a final look around the cabin. He smiled to himself, knowing that, no matter what happens, the team will always have this as their safe haven.
He drives home, despite the rain.
It makes him feel like he could love again.  
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Till the sun Dies Aragorn x plus size!reader
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Aragorn sighed, watching the people before him dance. If one more princess or duchess asked him to dance, he was sure to stab someone with the blade that was always strapped to his side. He hated this side to ruling, he was much better out on the battlefield than in a ballroom. This was due to Elrond’s insistence to “Find a queen”. The elf was very insistent to a point of offering Arwen’s hand to prove the point but Aragorn declined. If he was to find a queen it would not be to someone who practically raised him or an arranged marriage, he insisted to have it happen with someone he loved. 
Only problem? Aragorn was not in love with anyone and Elrond was so damn pushy, Aragorn threw a party. So now he was in a room with stifling rich women who wanted to marry him. Aragorn just sat on his throne looking very annoyed with this entire ordeal. “excuse me, your highness?” A voice asked. He looked over, keeping the annoyed face making the servant jump back slightly. “Would.. You like more wine sire?” the girl asked. “...Yes. please the one from last week was nice.” He said. She gulped. “The...Cook said it does not go with the dish sire. He wouldn’t allow it.” She said. Aragorn rose a brow. “Then bring me something very strong.” He said. The servant still didn’t move. “...Lord Elrond forbid us from serving anything like that and...” She seemed to shake. “Katerina, it is only me. Tell me the rest.” Aragorn said softer. “It- it’s not you I’m afraid of sire its the chef.” She muttered. “He’s that bad?” Aragorn asked. “He’s terrifying!” she yelped. Aragorn blinked, leaning off of the throne.
 “Take me to him.” He said. “What?” Katerina asked. “Staff within these walls should not be afraid of one another. Take me to this man.” Aragorn said. She walked off with him, walking through the halls to the kitchen. 
“ARE YOU STUPID? DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU!?” A voice yelled. You looked over at the poor boy who was at the end of the yelling. “No-no sir I understood but we don’t have--” “THEN. GO. OUT. AND. BUY. IT.” The chef said. You continued cutting potatoes, silent as you looked at Katerina who was shaking in the doorway next to a figure. You dropped your potato before you could see a face, it rolling and hitting the person’s boot. They leaned down, picking it up. “Thank you-” You looked up, gulping. “Sire.” you breathed. Aragorn paused, looking in your eyes. 
By the Valar... You were beautiful. Your eyes, your hair- everything was gorgeous. “Oy, fat oaf. Over here, now.” The chef said. You turned around, looking at him. “the king is here sir.” you said, voice shaking slightly. Gods, your voice was nice to hear as well. “What did you just call this woman?” Aragorn asked. “Sire it’s fine-” “No, it is not.” Aragorn said, walking forward. “If I hear talks of you screaming at any of the staff within these walls, I will personally remove you. Am I clear?” Aragorn asked. Katerina leaned over whispering in your ear. “He looks great doing that, doesn’t he?” She said. You looked at Aragorn, his face stern but his eyes gentle. “...Don’t be ridiculous, that is our king.” you muttered, looking down. You expected Gavin (The chef) to back down, after all the king had told him to stop. 
Instead the man pointed a wooden spoon to him. “You eat my food, which you all seem to enjoy and you tell me how to operate MY KITCHEN!?” He snapped. You all backed away from the two men. Aragorn looked down at the wooden spoon. “Sorry, would you like to be personally booted from the premises or would you like a guard to handle it?” Aragorn asked. “You do not remove anyone!” Gavin huffed, still waving the spoon. Aragorn gripped it, snapping the spoon from its small hilt. “Try waving it now, I think you could so magic if you wave hard enough.” Aragorn said. You resisted a snort. “I QUIT!” Gavin screamed. “Goodbye.” Aragorn said as the man shoved passed him. 
“Now... Who else here cooks?” Aragorn asked. No show of hands. “...None of you cook?” He asked. “He wouldn’t allow us to actually cook. We more.. Cut things and cleaned.” A servant answered. “Allow me to rephrase this... Who here can cook?” He asked. Katerina pointed to you. “Kat!” you said, pulling her hand down. “She can cook sire, I’ve eaten food in her home... It’s quite tasty!” She said. “...I trust your judgement, what is your name?” Aragorn asked. “Y/n.” you answered. “Great. You’re in charge of the kitchens as chef.” He said. “I’m what--” “Now as the chef, I ask that you point the direction of the ale.” He said. “...I wish I could sire but sir Elrond locked the cabinet the barrels are in.” you admitted. Aragorn grit his teeth. “That thorough little shit.” he huffed. 
A man handed him a flask. “Kept it because Gavin’s voice got tiring enough.” The stable boy said. “You are a friend to all tonight.” The king said, downing the entire flask in one go. “Thank you.” Aragorn said, walking out. “...Did the King just empty your flask?” A man asked. “...Yes he did.” The stable boy nodded.
the night ended after three more hours, Aragorn not even getting a buzz. Damn his increased tolerance for alcohol. He did feel terrible though from all the drinking, him going to the kitchens late in the night. He walked in, running his hand over his beard as he sat on a stool before hearing a thud. “Ow- By the nine worlds- how many damn apples did Gavin shove in here!?” You asked as another one pelted your head. You sighed, brushing your apron before seeing the king. You bowed, him holding his hand up as if to indicate a “Stop.” You immediately rose. “Tis very late for you to be here Lady Y/n.” He said. “I.. Well this new promotion has me very confused. Gavin would only let us go to certain areas of the kitchen, I’m trying to be well acquainted with it.” You admitted. “And you discovered the cabinet of fruit?” he asked, noticing the mess of apples on the floor. “No sir... Just apples.” You answered. Aragorn rose a brow, walking over to the cabinet.
You weren’t joking. There had to have been at least four hundred apples shoved in the cabinet. “...How in the hell was that even possible?” He asked. “I have no idea...” you admitted. He looked over at you, raising a brow. “How long have you worked here?” He asked. “...My whole life.” You answered. He nodded. “I started as a servant girl. More of a maid for Denethor.” You explained. “What landed you in here?” Aragorn asked. “I eventually became more of an errand girl... Which Denethor tended to eat a lot of food. Until eventually I came to the kitchen so often I ended up working here.” You said. Aragorn nodded. “Why don’t you go home? It is late and you need the rest.” Aragorn said. You shuffled a little. “I do not dare to walk through the woods at night sire.” you said. He rose a brow. “You live in the woods?” he asked. “Yes sire, in a cottage.” you said. 
He looked at you up and down. “Do you have a place to stay for the night?” He asked. “I tend to sleep in the stables on late nights.” you said. He frowned. “No lady should sleep in a stable.” He said. “Sire, I’m not a lady I’m a servant.” you corrected. “Any woman, even if a servant, is a lady in my eyes.” he said. You said nothing, looking down. “did you come here for something sire?” you asked. “Oh... Water.” he answered. You nodded, walking away. “I can get it myself-” “Sire it is my job.” you said. “Are you always this insistent?” he asked. “I...” you sighed. “I need to keep my hands busy sire. When I don’t I tend to bother myself with dreadful thoughts.” you muttered. He nodded. “I understand how that feels.” He muttered. “You do?” You asked. “I have witnessed a lot of gruesome things outside and within these walls... They tend to really haunt the mind.” He explained. You nodded with a sad look in your eyes.
You said nothing more, drawing water from a bucket and putting it into a cup. Aragorn took it, looking at you. “Y/n..” He said. You turned around confused. “Did Denethor treat you well?” He asked. You looked down. “Sire, you are the first of royalty to treat me with kindness outside of Faramir and..” you swallowed. It registered who else walked these halls. “You knew Boromir?” He asked. “Yes.” you said, a reminiscing smile on your lips. “Faramir and Boromir were almost like brothers to me.” You said. Aragorn nodded. “Boromir was a good man.” He said. “He was kind to me... Meanwhile Denethor usually called me..” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “A oafish pig.” you said. Aragorn really didn’t like hearing this. 
“Y/n, you are by no means ‘oafish’ or a ‘pig’.” Aragorn said. You looked at him with a confused look. “Why do you do that?” you asked. “Do what?” he asked. “You’re being unusually nice to me. I am just a servant, nothing more.” You said. “Every person deserves to be treated with respect until proven otherwise.” Aragorn said simply. “But-” “Y/n, are you usually this reluctant to people?” He asked. “...Yes.” you said. He chuckled. “I should go.” You muttered. “Right! I suspect you know where the guest chambers are?” He asked. “...Sire, those are occupied.” you said. “...By whom?” he asked. “Lord Faramir.” You said, leaving out the second guest. “I see... Which probably means Eowyn is with him.” Aragorn nodded. You blinked. “You... Are aware of the relationship?” You asked. “Of course I am, I introduced them.” He said. You blinked. “You did?” You asked. 
“Oh yes. I’m rather good with other peoples love lives.” He said. You noticed how he worded that. “But not your own?” you asked, without thinking. He blinked a couple of times, you retreating back. “I didn’t- I am so sorry--” he laughed. “No my own love life is... Well it’s messy.” He chuckled. You sighed with relief. “What of you lady Y/n?” He asked. “My love life is nonexistent.” you said, looking slightly disappointed by your own answer. “Really?” He asked, looking at you. You were a beautiful maiden, it surprised him that you never had any love interest. “When you look like this no one really...” you sighed. “Y/n, you’re beautiful, what are you talking about?” Aragorn asked without thinking. 
You swallowed, looking at the man. “Do you not think yourself to be a fair maiden?” He asked. You shook your head. “I... My whole life I’ve been told otherwise.” you admitted. “Y/n...” Aragorn seemed saddened by your answer. You cleared your throat. “you... Y/n, you can sleep in my quarters tonight.” He said. You blinked. “What?” You asked. “You can sleep--” “sire I couldn’t--” “Y/n, I will sleep in a chair-” “Sire no! I should be the one to sleep in a chair!” “So you’ll do it then! Great.” He nodded. “Wait I didn’t mean- Sire!”
Thus leading to you standing in the man’s quarters as he stood behind a partition changing. You looked around at the walls, them being of stone. Then you saw a sword on the mantle of the fireplace. You had heard the tale of  Andúril. How it broke off in the first battle for the ring when Isildur owned it. Now it was rebuilt, on display in front of you. 
“Do you like blades Lady Y/n?” Aragorn asked, standing behind you. You jumped, swallowing hard. “I am... More of a bow woman. Easier to hunt with for me.” you said. He rose a brow. “You enjoy hunting?” He asked. “Yes sire. It calms my nerves.” You said. “I take it you have the proper protection when you hunt in the forest?” He asked. You shrugged. “I make it actually.” you admitted. “You make armor?” He asked. You flushed with embarrassment. “I have to...” you muttered. “Why?” He asked. You shifted and he rose a brow. “...no one really makes it in my size.” you muttered. He blinked. “Armor is typically catered to those of...” you cleared your throat. “Of a thinner figure than mine.” you said, right now feeling uncomfortable. He looked at you. “Why are you embarrassed to have such an impressive skill?” He asked. “I’m embarrassed because of the reason I’ve gained the skill.” you said. He hated seeing you tear yourself down like that. “You’re an impressive woman Y/n, make no mistake.” He said. You looked up at him. “...thank you sire.” You said softly.
you slept in a chair, a blanket over you as you did. It must’ve been before sunrise when you heard Aragorn’s mutters. You opened your eyes, adjusting to the lack of light when you saw him. “No... NO!” he yelled, leaning up. You sat up, confused. He clutched his chest, panting like a madman. “Sire?” You asked, your voice soft. He looked over, sighing. “I woke you. I’m sorry.” He muttered. You got up, kneeling beside his bed. “You didn’t wake me.” You assured. In a half asleep state, he leaned onto you, his head landing on your shoulder. You jumped slightly. “I could hear them screaming...” Aragorn muttered. “Who?” You asked softly. “The men...From... Helm’s Deep..” He muttered, you feeling tears fall. You subconsciously started stroking his head gently. “I let them die.” He whimpered. “You saved us all... In more ways than one...” you said softly. He clung to you, your heart pounding. “Please... Stay with me.” He whispered. Your arms slowly wrapped around him. “I’m not leaving sire...” You said softly. 
The morning sun was creeping and Aragorn woke up, his arms cuddling something. He figured, from the way he usually slept it was a pillow. But then he noticed when he moved his hand it felt like hair. Wait... He leaned up to see you sleeping next to him. He paused, trying to remember what happened. He recalled awaking in the night, he remembered waking you.... What was he... Oh
You soothed him back to sleep. He asked you to stay. He wondered how he should go about this? Should he wake you? You were up pretty late and honestly it’d be rude to wake you just so you’d leave. Should he not move? Well that wouldn’t work, he had a meeting with Elrond today. Should he just go? Maybe he should leave a note so you wouldn’t be completely confused. That seemed logical... Right? OH FOR VALAR’S SAKE YOU WERE A SERVANT. NOT A LOVER, THIS SHOULDN’T BE THAT HARD.
You let out a small groan before leaning up. He didn’t move and you gasped, realizing that he was looking dead at you. You yanked back, falling off the bed and alarming Aragorn in the process. “I AM SO SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS!” You yelped, moving back and hitting the dresser behind you. “Y/n! It’s fine, I should apologize for making you sleep here with me!” He said. “N-no I shouldn’t have even been here-- Oh by the nine-- WHAT TIME IS IT!?” You asked. “Y/n... You’re the head of the kitchens now, you make the times for your own job.” He reminded. “NO LORD ELROND SPECIFICALLY WANTED ME AWAKE AT SUNRISE! SHIT!” You said, putting on your shoes and hopping around on one foot as you tried to put the other one on. “Y/n, I will explain to him what happen, he will understand” Aragorn said calmly. “I didn’t even hunt for you today! Gah!” you yelled before knocking into a mop bucket. Aragorn stood up, helping you up. “Annndd now I’m wet, this is PERFECT.” you whined. 
“Y/n. Breathe. Calm down. We will hunt together.” He said. “...We will?” You asked. “I don’t just go to war Y/n, I was a ranger of Gondor before I was king.” He said. You sighed. “I need to go home then...” you said. “I’ll go with you. You’re technically awake at sunrise by the way. The sun is still rising..” He said. You sighed and nodded. “I’ll warn you now... My home is not much.” you muttered. “My home was a hollowed out tree for a year. I do not care where you live as long as it’s safe for you.” he said simply. 
And there you were, walking a woodland path with Aragorn. “You take this path everyday?” he asked, ducking under branches as he walked. “Everyday.” You nodded, stepping over a log. You carefully stepped onto stones before you untied your apron and walked to a small cottage. At first glance, many would have thought that your home was a forge. You walked in, a cat looking up from a chair. You sighed, as Aragorn stepped in behind you. Blueprints were scattered around on a desk by a window for armor. He noticed you walk into a room he presumed to be your bedroom and turned around looking at the rest of your home. He saw your kitchen, it being small but perfect for one person. He saw your messy desk, he saw gardening tools around. He looked out the window and saw a small but well kept garden. He saw near your desk books on the floors, some to do with smithing, others on atlases and the world. He noticed though, the entire separate stack next to the atlases. It was a whole stack of history books and papers with scribblings tucked between the books. There were also language books... Were you trying to learn elvish?
“you really like reading don’t you?” Aragorn asked. “Oh! Yes I do.” You answered from your room. “ Care- tye quet- eldarin? (Do you speak elvish?)” He asked. “ Ni care-! Quite fluentlime actuallime. (I do! Quite fluently actually.)” You answered. You looked up, realizing that he asked you in elvish. “ Tye quet- eldarin sire? (You speak elvish sire?)” You asked. “ Héru elrond raised me an yen. (Lord Elrond raised me for year.)” He said, petting the cat. You walked out in leather armor and a bow. The bow caught his eye. There were small pictures engraved on the bow. They were very detailed, making him shocked that someone could make such small images that beautiful. “Did you do those?” He asked. “Oh... yes I carve pictures into it when I’m bored at home.” you admitted as you opened a cabinet next to your desk. You pulled a dagger from it, putting it into a small sheathe. 
You seemed relatively focused when you were hunting. You were very quiet, very careful and very set on finding what you wanted. Aragorn let you take the lead, watching you step forward. You locked onto something, hooking your arrow to the string and pulling back. You sucked in a breath, looking at a deer before releasing the arrow. You quickly fired two more arrows and killed it, walking over to it. “You have good aim.” Aragorn said. “Thank you.” you said, beginning the process of getting the meat. You heard a noise though and looked up. “You remind me of Legolas--” “Shhh.” you hushed. Another noise, along with heavy breathing. You rose, slowly. “Crap.” you breathed. 
Aragorn followed your eyes to what worried you. A bear. A very big, very angry looking bear. You stepped back Aragorn drawing his sword. You hooked another arrow to your string, locking eyes with it and watching as it let out a loud roar on its hindlegs. You fired, hitting its jaw. You looked over at Aragorn who was very much prepared to attack and watched as he leapt forward, striking the bear. You aimed again, hitting the shoulder of the bear before it seemed to really be annoyed with Aragorn, tackling him to the ground. “Aragorn!” you gasped. “ONE LAST ARROW!” “I don’t have a clear shot!” you breathed. “DO IT ANYWAY!” He yelled. You nodded, trying to avoid hitting Aragorn. You were amazed by your own aim as you shot the bear, it ceasing movement. Aragorn pushed the bear off of him and stood up. 
“Sire are you--” “You have got to meet Legolas, he would love you.” Aragorn chuckled. You looked at him worried. “Y/n?” He asked. “You could’ve gotten hurt you dolt! What were you thinking, charging into a fucking bear like that!?” you asked. He blinked, noticing the change in your personality.  “...Sorry for worrying you Y/n.” He said. you covered your mouth reminding yourself who you were speaking with. “I’m sorry I-I don’t know what came over me your highness--” “Y/n, It is fine. I want you to address me like a friend.” He said. “...why?” you asked. “I would say we’re friends. I mean, I do not share my bed with acquaintances.” He said. "I... I still should not have snapped..." You said. "I worried you Y/n. It's fine." He said sincerely. You sighed, saying nothing but walking over and collecting the deer meat and walking back. Aragorn followed, noticing figures in the woods. He wasn't sure if the figures were people or animals, seeing them all around him.
"Y/n are you aware of the figures in the woods?" He asked. You nodded. "That would be the fades." You said nonchalantly. "Fades? Like... Ghosts?" He asked. "Didn't you charge with the dead?" You asked. "Yes, I'm not afraid I'm merely walking with caution." He said. You snorted, laughing at the man's refusal to admit he was scared. He smiled, hearing your laugh. "It's alright to admit they scare you your highness." You said. He watched you turn around and time seemed to stop.
You had this beautiful smile, the breeze blowing your hair and his heart pounded in his ears. He swore for a moment he had seen a painting similar to you. That or you had to have been directly from a painting. Either way? You were gorgeous. 
Weeks had passed, you usually finding Aragorn in the kitchens. He actually would end up doing tasks himself, washing dishes, peeling foods, cleaning around the areas. The kitchen staff (except you) could tell why he was there. And the reason was out tonight. “Where is Y/n?” Aragorn asked, confused. “Sick... Katerina is actually very worried, the woman couldn’t even move this morning.” A man answered. He pondered. He knew you said the woods were dangerous at night but if your safety was at a risk... “fuck it.” He thought to himself, going to the stables.
He rode down the path you took, understanding just what you meant when you said it was dangerous. Fades were practically everywhere. Truth be told when he met the King of the dead, he was deeply unsettled by him but kept it to himself because thousands of lives were at stake. Aragorn finally reached your home, opening the door to find Katerina pacing. She looked over and froze. “King Aragorn what--” “Where is she?” He asked. She pointed to your room and he walked in, seeing you unconscious. “What are her symptoms?” He asked. “She’s running a fever, can’t keep any food or water down and she’s been dry heaving when she wakes up.” Katerina answered. Problem number one was the being unable to keep water down. “does she keep herbs around?” he asked. “Like cooking?” Katerina asked. Aragorn sighed. “OH! Medicinal herbs? Yes, in her closet over there on a shelf.” She realized. He opened the door and found various tools in the closet, it being lined with shelves with labeled jars and various potion like things. A book sat in the corner labeled “Discovered Remedies”. Out of both desperation and curiosity he opened it, reading it. He found that you seemed very well versed in remedies for things like a common cold and even stumbled across remedies for poison. Nothing though for what he was seeing. 
He thought to himself what would help and reached an answer. “Elvish medicine.” He realized. “There is an elven encampment nearby.” Katerina said. “There is?” He asked. “Yes, two miles west from here.” She said. He nodded, walking out. “You’re not going out there at night!” She gaped. “Y/n needs help.” He said before leaving. You whimpered, feeling unbearably warm. “Y/n, the king has gone to get help..” Katerina soothed. “Ara...Aragorn..” you muttered in a barely lucid state. She held you close, wiping the sweat off of your forehead with a wet cloth. “I don’t care what anyone says... That man loves you.” she muttered. “Love...” you muttered, trying to speak. “Shhh.” Katerina said. “Love...” you uttered again. “Y/n, this can’t be healthy to push yourself.” Katerina said softly. “I... Love... him.” you muttered. Katerina paused. “The King?” She asked. “y...yes.” you coughed out. She looked at you and then smiled. “Oh I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear.” she muttered. 
Aragorn rode through the forest, going as fast as he could. He found the encampment rather quickly, seeing the elves eating around a fire. He dismounted, running over. They all drew weapons but he raised his hands. “ Ni maure help. Mime nur na- laiva, se pole-'t get better  (I need help. My friend is sick, she can't get better.)” He said. They looked at him up and down. “ Sina nur, does se cui- -esse i cottage atta miles au-? (This friend, does she live in the cottage two miles away?)” An elven woman asked. “yes.” He nodded. They all seemed alarmed. “We will help.” she nodded. 
You seemed to be getting worse, your temperature getting to a very concerning point. Katerina was trying to keep calm, waiting on someone to come back. She started thanking Gods when the front door shot open, two elves walking in. “Lift her head.” one of them said. She lifted your head slowly, you whining in pain. One of them opened your mouth, forcing some sort of elixir down your mouth. You coughed but kept it down. “That should subside the vomiting. Get her some water.” The elf told the other elf. The elven woman ran and came back with water. “Now, miss Katerina... We’re going to ask you to hold her down” He said. she blinked. “Why?” She asked. “We know she’s not going to react well to the potion, most actually fight us out of it.” The elven woman said. Katerina reluctantly held down your arms. 
They put something in your mouth that made you fight against them and Katerina had trouble holding you back from trying to get it out of your mouth. “Y/n, calm down, please we’re trying to help!” Katerina said. Eventually you calmed down, the sweating and fever dying down by sunrise. Katerina left you with Aragorn, him watching over you from a chair next to your bed. You woke up around sunrise, seeing Aragorn asleep with your cat in his lap. You weren’t entirely sure if this was a dream or not. It had to have been right? For him to be here? 
He felt someone staring, opening his eyes to see you yawning. “You’re awake” He said relieved. “When did I even come home?” You asked quietly. “You don’t remember coming home?” He asked. “No... I just remember feeling warm... Now I’m cold.” you shivered. He wrapped his cloak around you, feeling your forehead. “The fever has died down.” He said. He allowed his hand to drift to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. You knew now this was no dream. By feeling his touch you were now wide awake. “S-sire, what are you doing here?” You asked. He looked down. “Y/n, I noticed you were gone one night. Someone in my staff told me you were sick, why didn’t you mention anything?” He asked. You sighed, “Because I didn’t want to get in the way. Sire, I’ve become a large part in your daily life these past weeks, I didn’t want you to deal with.. with this!” you said. “Y/n, you pushed yourself past the need for human medicine if it hadn’t been for the elves, you would have died.” He said. you shook your head. “I do not need you here taking care of me sire, that is my job for you! Don’t you see that our dynamic isn’t normal!?” “Stop calling me Sire!” “Do you not hear yourself? This is not normal for me to be this close to you!” “Do you wish to be close to me Y/n?” He asked. You sighed. “this isn’t about what I want-” “As your king I am asking you: What do you want?” Aragorn asked. 
Your heart pounded in your ears. “...You.” you responded, heart still going. “I’m right here Y/n and if you’ll allow it I will be all yours.” He whispered, very close to your face. You stopped him though looking down. He paused, looking into your eyes. “We can’t. You’re... You’re a king and I’m just your servant, I cannot be your queen. My status isn’t even wealthy.” You muttered. He shook his head. “I do not care for titles or wealth and last I checked, I was king.” Aragorn said. “...Lord Elrond would not allow this.” You said. “Lord Elrond does not Rule Gondor.” Aragorn reminded. “Aragorn. Talk to him first, then we will talk.” was all you told him.
Aragorn sighed now, sitting on the throne as Elrond droned on and on. “Then there is still the matter of finding you a wife-” “I have a suggestion.” Aragorn said. “Oh! Thank the Valar, you’ve found a suitable maiden!” Elrond said relieved. You seemed to have walked in just in time, handing Aragorn a cup of water. He took it, staring at you. You avoided his gaze, in fact you had been avoiding him all week. “Her.” Aragorn said. “Who? The servant?” Elrond asked. “Yes. Her.” Aragorn said. You looked up, freezing in place. “She’s very talented, well versed in history, makes maps, weapons and armor, she grows her own food, she speaks elvish, she’s practically a diplomat in the making she just doesn’t hold the title.” Aragorn said. Elrond looked at you. “Are the things he is saying true?” Elrond asked. “Yes my lord.” you nodded, looking at Aragorn confused. “... Then I cannot stop you.” Elrond said. Was this man happy that this was a servant becoming queen? No. But Aragorn was practically the man’s son and he saw the way that he looked at you. 
“What is going on your highness?” You asked confused. “I’m officially asking for your hand.” Aragorn said. You nearly dropped the empty cup you were holding with wide eyes. “Your highness you must be joking.” you said. “I am not. You said to speak with him, I’ve spoken with him. He approves and you are right in front of me. Could you please drop the stubbornness for one moment to tell me how you feel?” Aragorn asked. You gulped. “This is madness.” you said, Aragorn standing in front of you, setting the cup in your hands on a small table next to the throne. “I must be crazy or-or still recovering or-” “Y/n do you accept?” Aragorn asked. You nodded before Aragorn smiled. “I do- I accept--” His lips crashed onto yours, you smiling as he held you to him. 
Were people shocked to hear that a servant sat on the throne now? Yes. Were they even more shocked that it was Aragorn’s suggestion to marry you? Again, yes. But were you two happy? Oh hell yes. Aragorn and you would go on horseback rides through the lands, you smiling at your husband. You had one simple thought each time you looked at Aragorn as well.
“I will love you until the sun dies.”
This was a request from @snailcoveredcottage​ I hope you enjoyed it!
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fan-girling-101 · 4 years ago
Text
Dead Letter
Rafe Cameron X Reader
Summary: Rafe Wife sends him a letter from the dead.
Warnings: Sadness
Wordcount: 1.2k
Me to lazy to get a gif relating the story, even just a little bit. 
Masterlist | Christmas Masterlist
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Next week was going to be Rafe’s first Christmas without Y/N. The love of his life, bestfriend, and wife. She died early this year from a heart disease. They saw it coming but Rafe will never get over it. Who decided that she should get the terrible disease. To Rafe she was perfect, an angel, she spent her money on the homeless and countless charities expecting nothing in return. She looked past Rafe’s coke addiction at the person he really was, she tore down the wall he’s always had up to protect himself from being hurt. When she was around Rafe didn’t need any drug, she became his addiction.
After she died he put the wall back up, coke and alcohol became the only thing in the world that made him feel better. Sarah and Weezie tried to get him to go to work before he was fired or at least get out of bed. But nothing worked. When Y/N died, part of him died too. 
He wasn’t sure how he'd get past Christmas without her. He didn’t even realize I was winter, all the days blurring together at this point. When he got mail from his stepmom, Rose, an invitation to the annual Cameron Christmas dinner he threw it away quickly. Y/N was the only one that made the dreadful dinner less dreadful. 
He went back to the spear bedroom in his house he’d been sleeping in, not wanting to sleep in their bed by himself. Right when he closed the door the doorbell rang. He muttered something under his breath about how Sarah should just leave him alone. Opening the front door he wasn’t greeted by his sister. Instead standing out in the cold, well as cold as it got in the Outerbanks, was the lawyer that handled Y/N will.
“Good afternoon Rafe.” He greeted, putting out his hand to be shook. Rafe looked at his hand before looking back at the lawyer, Dean Marshall. He awkwardly pulls his hand back clearing his throat.
“What are you doing here.” The hostility obvious in Rafe’s voice. 
“Your late wife left a letter in her will, saying to give it to you the first Christmas after she passes.” He scoffs at late wife, and after she passes. No one outwardly said dead in front of Rafe, most likely scared of what he would do. As Dean holds out the letter Rafe grabs it and slams the door before he could say anything else.
He makes his way to the living room. He knew if Y/N was here he’d be yelled at from not decorating for her favorite holiday. He sits down on the couch holding the envelope in his hand. Tears welled in his eyes looking at the writing that was mistakenly Y/N. He sat there for a while just holding it, the name on the front his full first name. Rafael Cameron. She was the only one allowed to call him that, he loved the sound of her voice as she said it. His eyes traced over the perfectly written letter before he turns it open and carefully oppens it.
“Dear Rafey,
Hi, it’s been a while. It’s probably been hard, and I’m sorry. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I wish I was alive still, I wish we could decorate for Christmas together. I wish I had enough time to have a real life with you. Like kids, I wish we could have had kids, little mini Y/N and Rafe’s running around. You’ve been taking these past months hard and I could only imagine what you’re doing now that I’m really gone. I swear if you turned back to coke I will come back from the bed just to yell at you. You’ve come so far. It’s probably not what you want to hear but Rafe I am totally fine if you move on and find someone else to make you happy. I want you too. I don’t want you to just be sad all the time, you still deserve happiness even if that can’t be with me. I love you more than life itself. I know what you’re thinking. ‘I would ever fall in love with anyone else I can’t blah blah blah.’ You don’t even have to move on with a person to get a dog, well don’t get one now because well, you’ll see. If you get a dog, name it after me. Thank you. I’m kidding, name it what ever you want, just not something stupid like, Buddy. Anyways, get up and put the decorations up now. I know you haven’t. If you don’t before 12:00 am on Christmas I will haunt you. Maybe I’ll just haunt you for fun anyways. Goodbye Rafe, I love you, till death do us part am I right.
Y/N Cameron”
At this point Rafe couldn’t keep in the tears. All he wanted was for Y/N to come back. He heard the door open but he didn’t do anything, just sat on the couch, the letter now placed on the coffee table and his head in his hands. When someone sat on the couch he looked up. Sarah sat beside him her own letter from Y/N in her hands.
“She's gone.” Rafe cried as Sarah pulled her older brother into a hug.
“I have something to show you.” She said after a few minutes. She got up and Rafe followed her to her car. She opened the passenger side door letting a black and white fluff run out and straight to Rafe.
“What?”
“Y/N called a friend of hers, before she passed, his dog was about to have puppies, she asked if she could have one to give to you. Asking him to come to my house on christmas with that little girl and a letter.”
“She said something about me moving on and getting a dog in her letter. I didn’t think she’d do it for me.” He bent down to put the dog finding a collar around her neck, the name tag reading Y/N Jr. He couldn’t help but laugh because it was such a Y/N thing to do.
“She also told me to help you decorate, so I got a tree.” Rafe looked back at the car noticing a tree he hadn’t before.
When the house was fully decorated, Sarah called a takeout place that was open on Christmas ordering for the two of them. After they ate Sarah headed to the spear bedroom Rafe had been sleeping in to head to bed as she was staging over. Leaving Rafe with two options, either sleeping on the couch or sleeping in their bed.
Rafe made his way to the bedroom looking back at the dog staring right back at him. “Come on Junior.” The dog quickly got up sprinting into the room and on the bed. When Rafe was ready for bed Jr. was already asleep snoring softly. As he sat a sudden gust of wind brushed past him. Y/N sent very clear. But the second Rafe realized it smelt like her it was gone. Maybe she was haunting him after all.
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schnitzelbutterfingers · 4 years ago
Text
The Stroke of Midnight (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)
Book/Pairing(s): Open Heart/ Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Abigail “Abby” Chacko)
Word Count: 2175
Summary: How would they get their New Year’s kiss if there are obstacles in their way?
Category: Angst with a happy ending
Warning(s): hospitalization (car accident, coma, fainting, depression, anxiety) kissing (ofc, it’s New Year’s Eve-)
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______________________________________________________________
December 29th, 2020 (9:52 P.M.)
Abby loathed it. 
She loathed wearing those damn masks that made her suffocate. She loathed wearing at least three pieces of clothing, which got her all sweaty and sticky. Best of all, she loathed COVID-19. 
Damn every single human that doesn’t know how to social distance.
She got it. She knew how it felt to not spend time with her dear friends. She knew how it felt to not go to gorgeous beaches and get her tans. 
But this whole pandemic would be over if everyone followed the damn rules. People are acting as if they are seeing their families for the first time. Airplanes flying across the sky with every seat filled. Beaches filled with women in bikinis and men in shorts. Parties filled with people and alcohol. 
Abby is wholeheartedly done.
She recollected how Seb and Amma when they couldn’t come to Boston for the Christmas and New Year’s celebrations because of the fast-spreading virus. Even if she missed her family, she video-called them with Ethan, laughing and sharing joy with one another.
The moment of tranquility at that time inhabited her memories as more patients filled the ER, the moans and groans of pain settling in the overcrowded room. With a sigh, she got back to work, tending to them who may possibly have COVID. 
After placing one patient in the ventilator after she had trouble breathing, the junior resident went to the diagnostics room to take a break. It was depressing to call their families and tell them the heartbreaking words that their loved ones might not make it. And for a bonus point, during the holidays.
And it’s already depressing enough that Ethan hadn’t called her yet. He was supposed to here now; his shift was going to start in 5 minutes. Habitually, he got here early, either to finish paperwork or to start his rounds. The fact that he is not here know made her stomach feel wary.
She jolted at the beeping of her pager, signalling her to the ER room. I wasn’t even gone for five minutes.
Reluctantly, she went back down to the ER. She could see figures not far, and a bloodied man. Automatically, her thoughts went to calling his family about this accident. She hated heeding the cries coming out of their mouths, wishing she could do anything, anything, in her power to to save their loved one. But she prompted herself that she tried her full hardest.
Thrusting those thoughts aside, she rushed down to the patient. Suddenly, a pair of hands ceased her from taking another step forward. Naveen.
“Abby, don’t go down there,” Naveen said, worriedly. Huh?
Abby was confused and impatient. “What are you talking about? I’m a doctor. I can help him!”
Naveen replied in a hushed, soothing kind of tone. “There are other doctors there. They’ll tend to-”
Just then a paramedic came, someone the Chacko doesn’t know. “Patient is Ethan Ramsey, age-”
The world stopped. People annulled their motions. At least, that’s what she concluded. Her pulse, however, grew rapid. Her eyes widened. In horrible fear? In terrible anguish? In emotional pain? She doesn’t even know. 
“...Naveen? Please don’t tell me it’s who I think it is.”
“...I’m so sorry, Abigail. His car was hit by a truck and it rolled over a few times. He will be okay, I promise-”
But she’s not so certain. She wanted to slap herself. To cut herself, for ever thinking that. But even she took a look at Ethan. He’s covered in blood. She couldn’t even recognize him. 
“No...”
Then, she said it louder.
 NO! NO! ETHAN! ETHAAAN! Let me go. LET ME GO! NAVEEN, LET ME GO!!” Abby struggled, trying to release herself from Naveen’s grip. He was maintaining a vice-like grip on her, murmuring soothing words that he will be alright.
But she couldn’t make out anything. The world was spiraling, and so was she. 
“...Ethan...”
In one blink she fell onto the floor, her knees making an uncomfortable thud on the white tiles, and her vision went black.
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December 30th, 2020 (10:06 A.M.)
The first thing she overheard was the beeping of a heart monitor. Next, she saw the IV going through her arm. She found out she was lying on an uncomfortable bed, sunlight streaming through the windows. Finally, she sees the Chief with an anxious face.
“Abigail! Ladoo, are you alright?” Naveen asked, concerned.
Only one word came out of her mouth. A name. “Ethan...”
She placed everything now. The bloodied body of Ethan Ramsey. Her true love. Unconscious. Unaware of any of her calls. She gasped out.
“Ethan! Naveen, where is Ethan? Where-”
Abby couldn’t breathe. She is suffocating. And she wasn’t even wearing one of those damn masks.
“Abby, deep breaths,” Naveen soothingly commanded.
She did as she was advised. Her breathing got normal, but her pulse didn’t.
“Naveen! Where is Ethan? Is he alright? Where-”
“Ladoo. Ethan is in the ICU, currently in a coma. He had a major surgery in his lung and chest. Thankfully, the surgeons stopped the blood loss. He had two broken ribs and a broken arm.”
Abby couldn’t get that first sentence out of her mind. “He’s... in a coma?”
The senior doctor sighed profoundly. “Yes, Abigail. We don’t know when he will wake up.”
We don’t know when he will wake up.
A tear spilled out of her eye, but she forced herself to swab it away. She will not break down. At least not now. Finally, she cared enough to question about herself.
“...What’s wrong with me?”
A sigh pulled out of Naveen’s mouth again. “You fainted after you had heard the news about Ethan. Your blood pressure increased. Fortunately, you’re fine now. I’ve informed Seb and Jazmin about this. They sensed you would be uncomfortable with talking about Ethan now, so they’ve decided to give you some space.”
She was appreciative. For having the best brother and mother. She treasured them. Too much. “I’ll shoot them a quick text message later. For now, I’m going to Ethan’s room. Where is he?”
“Abi-”
“Please. I want to see him.”
With a defeated sigh, Naveen and a nurse aided her onto a plastic wheelchair, much to her annoyance. She could walk fine, she’s not paralyzed or anything.
Abby was wheeled down the familiar hospital hall as nurses and doctors kept sparing pitiful glances. She didn’t need pity. She needed Ethan.
She walked into the room, preparing herself for what she was going to see. She wasn’t prepared at all.
Ethan was wearing a hospital gown and looked exhausted. His eyes were closed and he looked calm. Peaceful. Tranquility.
Some of her friends were already there. Bryce, Sienna, Jackie, Elijah, Rafael. They knew Abby would want to see her love. Some of them whispered comforting words. Others patted her on the shoulder. They all left her, and soon, she was alone with her fiance.
She started. “Hi, Ethan. It’s me, Rookie.”
She looked at the calendar. December 30. 
“Two more days till this horrible year is over. Life always throws us curveballs, don’t they?”
Silence.
She sighed. “Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve. Couples are supposed to kiss each other at the stroke of midnight. I need to feel your lips on mine at midnight. Please.”
The tears she tried to hold fell out like a dam breaking. She broke out in sobs.
“Please, Ethan. I... I can’t live without you in this damn world. If you die, I die, Ethan. I die. Please. I wanna feel you lips on mine at midnight. We planned so much for the future. Please. We’re engaged. We’ll be married next year. We’re hoping to build a family. With Jenner, as our third wheel. Please wake up, wake up, wake up. I love you too damn much.”
She whispered the last sentence. She tangled his hand in hers and held them tight. He may be in a coma now, but she’ll sing a song for him now. 
The sun comes up It's a new day dawning It's time to sing your song again
She takes a deep breath to keep her voice from cracking. Whatever may pass And whatever lies before me Let me be singing When the evening comes
Bless The Lord, O my soul O my soul Worship his holy name Sing like never before O my soul I'll worship your holy name
She sighed. He didn’t move, but something told her that he will move soon. 
“Rest now, my love. I’ll be waiting for that kiss when you wake up.”
He didn’t wake up that day.
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December 31st, 2020 (11:40 P.M.)
Abby was with him yesterday and planned to stay in his room the whole night, until Naveen discharged her and gently forced her into an on-call room. It’s amusing how he thinks the 22 years old would get any sleep. She wanted to be in Ethan’s comforting arms. Him stroking her musky brunette hair. Her wrapping her narrow arms around his waist. Sleeping under the brilliant moonlight. But now, the coma threatened to take away that lifelong dream.
It was 11:40 P.M. on New Year’s Eve, and Abby was still waiting for that midnight kiss. He promised he would kiss her at 12:00 A.M. He didn’t have any problems in doing that. If so, he would have told Abby. He didn’t have to go into a coma to hamper it. Abby would still love him.
Abby was looking at the wall, staring at it blankly as she clasped his hand and gave it a squeeze, hoping for it to jerk. And minutes later, it did.
The first jerk got her out of her train of thoughts. The second jerk made her look at his bruised face, hopeful for a holiday miracle. The third jerk made him slowly open his eyes, his familiar hand gently stroking her thumb as to figure out who is next to him. 
She gently fastened her eyes. Oh no, what if he loses his memory? It was a serious car accident after all. Stop it, Abby, Naveen didn’t mention a head injury. Oh no, what if he was lying? What if he was trying to make me feel better? What-
“Rookie...?” She looked back at her, only to observe Ethan staring intently at her, with a slight glimmer.
“Ethan...” She couldn’t hold back the tears this time. 
The ocean eyes lost glimmer and instead widened with evident alarm. “Abby, don’t cry. What happened?”
Abby released a tremulous breath, one that she barely knew she was holding. “A truck hit you car and it flipped a few times. You were in it. You had a major surgery in your lung and chest. The surgeons stopped your blood loss just in time. You have two broken ribs and a broken arm. And you were in a coma.”
If Ethan wasn’t alert before, then he definitely is after hearing her last statement. “I was in a coma? For how long?”
“Just for a day, luckily. It’s New Year’s Eve.”
She looked at her watch. 
“... 11:55 P.M.”
Ethan nodded his head slowly, before gently stroking her cheek to wipe away the salty droplets of water. “Rookie, don’t cry. I’m awake now, am I not?”
She broke. Again. 
“B-but, I th-thought you wouldn’t m-make it. I thought y-you would never w-wake up. I thought o-our future was de-destroyed. I thought I would ne-never see you bl-blue eyes again. I thought-”
She gave up saying the last sentence and the first sob came out. Ethan’s heart broke piece by piece before shattering. 
“Lie down with me.”
She was hesitant. “But w-what if I h-hurt you?”
“You won’t,” Ethan assured. “I want to hold you.”
Slowly, she got up from the uncomfortable plastic chair and gently lied down with him. Her hand came around his waist, mindful of his injuries. Ethan’s hand went to the daily job of stroking her hair down. 
“I’m right here. Our dream will never be shattered as long as we have each other’s hearts. Even if I did die-”
“Ethan, stop-”
“No, Abigail, let me say this. Even if I did die, our hearts would be mended together. If you died, I would never love someone else again. You would be mine always, no matter what happens. My heart would belong to you and only you.”
Joyful and comforting tears obscured her vision. “I love you, Ethan.”
“I love you, too, Rookie. To the squares of infinity.”
Just then, they both heard the countdown. 11:59 P.M.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
“Are you ready?” Ethan asked.
Six.
Five.
Abby smiled. “Hell yeah, I am.”
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
And their lips met at the stroke of midnight, fulfilling his promise.
“Happy New Year, Abigail.” The former attending said, a beautiful grin adoring his face.
“Happy New Year, Ethan.” Abby returned with the same grin.
As sleep was overtaking both of them with colorful fireworks decorating the night sky, Abby managed to ponder on one more thought.
Good riddance, 2020.
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notes: If you’ve made it this far, thank you!
notes 2: Happy New Year, and good riddance! Let’s all pray for a good year this time. I wrote this fic in one day, and I am pretty impressed of myself. But I thought I would give you one more fic as this year comes to a close. Forgive me if there were any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed! ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ
tags: @missmiimiie @aylamwrites @starrystarrytrouble @udishaman @caseyvalentineramsey @queencarb @choicesstan1 @newcolonies @arcticrivers @angela8756 @takemyopenheart @rookie-ramsey @ohchoices​ @ohvamsey @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @drariellevalentine @maurine07 @lucy-268 @drakewalkerfantasy @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @gryffindordaughterofathena
@openheartfanfics
@choicesficwriterscreations
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phantoms-lair · 4 years ago
Note
Ok, but Zuko's crew figuring it out after just a week or so and having had enough time to propperly convince him before finding Aang (because he might have seen reason but he's still stubborn and what else are they gonna do? Open a tea shop?) Zuko: *didn't think he'd get this far* 'THIS IS SO AWKWARD; WHAT DO I DO?!?!' Lt. Jee, who knows kids need other kids their age around them, seeing the Gaang: 'They're friend shaped!'
“Here we are, the Southern Air Temple.” “It looks amazing Aang,” Katara couldn’t help but be breathless at the sight. Even so she couldn’t help the feeling of trepidation. Aang was from a time of peace long past. No matter how much they told him otherwise, he wouldn’t truly understand what the Fire Nation was capable of till he saw t with his own eyes. And this was the place she feared it would happen.
Aang led them up a long and winding path, chattering excitedly about everything he knew about the place. “And that’s the field where we played Air Ball, and that’s where the air bison slept and-” he broke off, sadness filling his voice. “This place used to be so different. It was full of monks and life. Now there’s nothing here. I can’t believe how much things have changed.” “Maybe not.” Sokka was looking around with sharp eyes. “If this place was really abandoned, there should be all sorts of weeds and overgrowth.  But everything’s neatly kept. Someone’s been here, and a lot more recently than a hundred years ago,”
His voice was filled with dark suspicion, but it went right over Aang’s head. The last airbender perked up. “You’re right! Come on let’s find them!”  “Aang wait!” But it was too late. Aang had taken off on his air scooter, following the path as quickly as he could. He came to an abrupt stop, air dissipating, and stared at the two figures wearing blotchy grey clothes standing in front of him. One of them, a woman, dropped the bundle of sticks and weeds she was holding. The other, a man with sideburns whispered “An airbender...” under his breath. “Get Iroh, he’s meditating in the Avatar Chamber.” He then bowed deeply as the woman ran off. “Honored Monk, would you and your companions please join us for some tea. I know our leader would be honored to speak with you.”
Aang nodded, but he seemed a lot more subdued than before. They were led into a large room. Sokka kept one hand on his boomerang, just waiting to see if trouble would start. On the way they saw several more grey-clothed people staring at them in wonder.
“Iroh should be here shortly.” the man explained. “My name is Jee.” “Iroh’s the one in charge?” Katara asked. “Everyone but he himself would tell you so.” Jee had a half smile. “Iroh sees our little group as a collection of equals, but in times of crisis or question, we tend to turn to him or Zuko.”
“Who’s-” But before Sokka could finish asking who Zuko was (and for that matter who this group was) he was interrupted by heavy footsteps running towards the door and throwing it open. “Jee is it true?” An elderly man was panting, clearly not used to running like he was. “An airbender has returned?”
Jee nodded. “This good Monk and his friends just arrived at the temple.”
“Spirits be praised.” The mans face twisted as tears began to flow from his eyes. “That the balance might not be destroyed, it’s more than I dared hope.” Then he seemed to catch himself and dried his eyes. “Where are my manners. My name is Iroh, let me make you some tea.” “Thank you. I’m Aang, these are my friends Katara and Sokka.” Aang introduced. “But may I ask, please, how did people from the Fire Nation get here. I thought this temple could only be reached by flying bison.” “Fire Nation!” Sokka rose from his seat, grabbing his boomerang. Likewise Katara reached for the water Iroh was pouring into the teapot.
“Peace.” Iroh sad calmly. “No one here wishes any of you harm.”  “How can you say that?” Katara spat. “You’re Fire Nation!”
Iroh looked directly to Aang. “Will you hear our story, honored Monk?”
“I will.” Aang turned to his friends. “We can’t attack before we’ve heard them out.”
“Watch me.” But despite his words, Sokka made no move to attack.
Iroh poured more water in the kettle, to replace what Katara had taken. “I am curious myself, how you identified us so quickly.”
“You’re wearing ash-dyed clothes.” Aang explained. “That’s what Fire Nation people wear in mourning.”
“A custom no longer practiced, sadly. We have taken it for our own as we mourn the loss of so much in the world, and seek to save as much as we can. If we can call ourselves anything, we are Restorationists.” Iroh handed each of them and Jee a cup, before pouring one for himself.
“Our story began three years ago, in the Fire Lord’s war council. My nephew, Zuko, was about your age and had talked his way inside to observe and learn. Like all children of the Fire Nation he’d been raised to believe the Nation was perfect and the war just. And it was in this meeting those beliefs were destroyed.”
“A General suggested a plan that would end in the sacrifice of the youngest Fire Nation recruits in a gambit that would gain very little, for you see the Firelord cares as little for his own people as those of other nations. The War Room was usually divided into two factions. Those like the General who reveled in slaughter, and those like myself who knew there was nothing we could say to stop it. Except that day there was another.” “Zuko spoke out, loudly and passionately, about how wrong the plan was. He was told he’d have to fight an honor duel for his disrespect. Zuko was pleased to fight someone as dishonorable as the General. Only on the day of the duel, his opponent wasn’t the general, but his own father.”
Sokka drew in a hissing breath. “The Firelord made him fight his own father?”
Iroh took a long sip of tea. “He forced Zuko, yes. But it was not involuntary on both sides. My brother longed to be rid of his kind-hearted son, and saw the duel as an opportunity. But my nephew thwarted him.” Iroh smiled to himself. “He surrendered, refusing to harm his own father. As a result my brother couldn’t land a killing blow without being disgraced himself. Instead he scarred Zuko and had him banished in disgrace for his ‘cowardice’.” 
For the first time they heard anger in Iroh’s voice. “No child should have to learn so young that their Nation is disgraceful, that their family has no honor. It was a terrible lesson, and yet one he did learn. The Firelord gave him an impossible task in order to rescind his banishment, but it’s one Zuko has no interest in pursuing. Instead he set out to learn how much more of what he knew was a lie. I’m sure you know what he found.” 
“Zuko wanted to make a pilgrimage to the places most harmed by the Fire Nation, starting with the Air Temples, the Western Air Temple in particular. We told him only an Air Bender could reach it. We underestimated him. Within a day he had managed to get inside. What he reported back to us was...it was nothing less than a tragedy. The corpses of Fire nation Soldiers and Air Nomads alike were strewn over the temple, which, as you can imagine, had fallen into serious disrepair.”
“Over the next few weeks, we had removed the bodies of the soldiers and gave them tradition field rites as per the Fire Nation. But we agreed we did not want to disrespect the Air Nomads further by denying them the proper rites. We searched the temple in hopes of finding the instructions, which we did.” “Please Iroh,” Aang looked like he was a moment away from sobbing. “Can you tell me...I just want to be sure.” Iroh nodded. “We burned them on an outdoor pyre, eight people in attendance at the cardinal directions. Four people facing the pyre, praying for the spirit of the fallen monk, four facing away, praying to the spirits to guide them. When the fire burned out, we spread the ashes to the four winds.”
Aang let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” His voice shook and Katara pulled him into a hug. Iroh nodded. “But the search for the proper rites drove home to my nephew how much had been lost. We spent much of the first year at the temple, finding what we could on Air Nomad Culture, as well as undoing what damage had been done. We were few to start with, barely thirty people. But as we traveled, more came to us. Most were former soldiers of the Fire Nation who could not stomach what they were asked to do. Some were Earth Kingdom scholars, seeking to uncover what had been lost to the war. We have restored all but the Norther Air Temple, as well as several places in the Earth Kingdom.”
“What about the South Pole.” Sokka crossed his arms. “You said you were going to places the Fire Nation hit hardest.” “The South Pole is still occupied, and I doubt the current residents would appreciate us showing up. We have found some various parchment scrolls, which we have copied into our caches, but not much.”
“Hold up, what caches?” Katara demanded.
“We didn’t want to make it easy for The Firelord’s servants to destroy the histories of the fallen peoples again. All the information we’ve found has been copied and placed in caches. We have one places in each of the locations we’ve restored, as well as several other hidden places throughout the Earth Kingdom. The memories of these people will not be forgotten again.”
“You’re more than welcome to look through the cache here for any knowledge lost to you tribe.” Jee said kindly. “And we would greatly appreciate anything Monk Aang could add. We’ve done our best, but that’s not the same as someone who’s lived in the culture.”
Iroh bowed his head. “For that matter, we recognize that this place and the other Air Temples belong to your people. If your people do not want us in their ancestral home, we will of course leave.”
Aang felt a lump in his throat as he realized that Iroh, and probably the rest of the Restorationists, had made a mistake. They thought he was one of a group of Air Nomads who had escaped. Not that he was the last. And...and if they had been to all the temples, except maybe the Northern One, he very well could be.
“Would you mind if I took a look at the cache.” To be honest he was less interested in it’s contents and more...he just needed some time to sort all this out.
Iroh nodded his head. “Of course. The cache for the Southern Air Temple is in the Atrium of the Southern Wind. I trust you know where that is?”
Aang nodded and rose. “Thank you for the tea.”” He gave a small bow an left, Katara by he side. Sokka hung back a bit and heard a snatch of conversation as he shut the door.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Jee asked.
Sokka froze, listening carefully.
“It depends on what you think I’m thinking.” Iroh said amicably.
“I’m thinking your bastard of a brother never let Zuko interact with other children and he never had the chance to once he took the responsibility to undue sins from before he was born. You’re hoping the Monk and his companions will be friends to him.”
“You know me too well.”
Sokka slid away, not sure if he was disappointed or relieved.
“What are you thinking Aang?” Katara asked as Sokka caught up. “Should we make a break for it.”
“No, if they wanted to hurt us, they would have tried already.” Aang said heavily. He sighed. “I really am the last, aren’t I?”
Katara gripped his hand and Sokka slung an arm around his shoulder. “You’re not alone thought. You know that right?” Katara asked him.
He gave her a sad smile. “Thanks guys.”
The Atrium of the Southern Wind was a tall chamber that was open beneath the ceiling so the wind rushed through. Though open to the air, it let little light in, so when the opened the door the chamber was flooded with light.
There was a single person inside, shielding his eyes as the new light greatly outshone the small candle he had been using. “I told you, Miki. I’ll take a break as soon as I finish transcribing this. Codebreaking is easier than reading Monk Chaiyun’s handwriting.” He was significantly younger than the other Restorationists they had seen. He also seemed to be wearing a strange white fur hat.
Katara and Sokka instinctively stood in front of Aang, who chuckled. “It really was bad.”
The Restorationist’s head shot up, causing his hat to fall off with a startled squeak. “You’re not-How did you get up here?” Then he shook his head. “That’s egotistical, we got up after all, sorry.” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
Katara and Sokka felt their stomachs twist. Iroh had said his nephew had been scarred, and they though they had understood what that meant. They had seeen plenty of scars on the men of the village, life at the mercy of the ocean wasn’t kind. Almost all members of the tribe has some scars, from light gashes on fingertips struck with fish hooks, to the broad slash across Chinuk’s chest from when he’s been hit with shrapnel from Fire nation cannons on their last raid.
Nothing they imagined prepared them for the burn covering most of the left side of Zuko’s face. It was like someone with a flaming hand grabbed it and held on. Knowing it was his own father who’d done this, who wanted to do this, sickened them.
Aang’s attention, though, was on his ‘hat’. “Is that a lemur?” he asked, delight entering his voice for the first time.
Zuko smiled. “Yeah. I gave him some food and he’s stuck with me ever since. Do you want to give him some food?”
“Do I? Aang excitedly asked.
Zuko reached into a satchel and pulled out some berries and handed them to Aang. Aang offered them to the lemur who sniffed, then grabbed one, scootign away to eat it.
“I don’t suppose you have some meat in there?” Sokka stared at the satchel longingly. 
“No, but I feel you though. We don’t bring meat to the Temples since the Air Nomads were vegetarians and we don’t want to disrespect them. But I miss it too. I do have some Rabbiyak cheese though.” He reached into the bag and handed a soft yellow wedge to Sokka.
“Good enough!” Sokka grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth, practically melting in joy. 
Katara laughed, both at her brother and her friend, who now had the lemur climbing over him. “You made a new friend, Aang?” Zuko perked up “Aang? You were named after Avatar Aang?”
“Avatar Aang?” Katara asked, thanking the Spirits that the Lemur was on Aang’s face, so Zuko didn’t see his reaction. 
“The last Avatar we have any information on,” Zuko explained. “He grew up in this very Temple. The last piece of information we have on him was that he was going to the Eastern Air Temple. We don’t know if he made it or not though.”
He didn’t. But neither of the siblings wanted to tell anyone from the Fire Nation that, not matter how much goodwill that cheese had bought from Sokka.
Sokka swallowed the last of the cheese. “Iroh said the cache in here might have some lost knowledge from our Tribe?”
“Oh he did?” Zuko looked surprised. “You’re from the Southern Water tribe? I mean, you’d have to be, we don’t have anything from the Northern.” He opened a stone chest next to him. It looked normal from the outside, but opening revealed a strange shape to the interior, as if there were teeth withing the lid. Zuko pulled out multiple scrolls, which he handed to the siblings.
Sokka opened one and was surprised to find a message within stating that this scroll was a reproduction, and described what the original scroll had looked like, from the type of parchment and ink used, to the carvings on the handles. The scroll itself contained information on building a rigging system for a ship.
“Are there Fire Nation Scrolls in here?” Aang asked, the lemur curled up on his head as it had been on Zuko’s.
“Yep.” Zuko scowled, which looked even worse with his scar. “Seems each Firelord does their best to wipe out a culture. Sozin launched the strike on the Air Nomads. Azulon pretty much destroyed all Fire Nation culture that couldn’t be used to prop up the war. So like, the Fire Festival is still on, because ‘Rah Rah Fire Good’, but the Festival of Rebirth, which centered around sowing the fields with ashes to benefit crops was struck from records and history books because it was ‘too Earth Nation’. A vast majority of our culture just...gone.” There was no hiding the bitterness is Zuko’s voice. “And despite the Earth Kingdoms being the single greatest force of Resistance, Ozai’s been obsessed with the Water Tribes, so I guess that will leave Azula with Earth.”
“If they don’t get stopped.” Sokka pointed out.
“I hope so.” Zuko sighed. “If the rest of the world would band together, they could have been stopped a hundred years ago, but too many keep saying ‘not my problem’ till Ozai’s armies are at their doorstep. Everyone keeps saying stuff like ‘If only the Avatar would return, but he’s just one man? Or woman. Like, sure he can bend all the elements, but you just need four people for that. Maybe try to work on stuff yourself rather than rely on one person???” 
“You don’t think the Avatar can save the world?” Sokka asked, eyebrow raised. Sure he like how easily Zuko admitted to the Fire Nation needing to be stopped, but still...
Zuko shrugged. “It’s less I don’t think he can and more...I guess I don’t feel he should have to, I mean, the Fire Nation is about the size and a half of Ba Sing Se. It wouldn’t have stood a chance if all the Earth Kingdoms gave a United front against it in the beginning, much less both Water Tribes assisting.  But only a few Kingdoms and the Southern Tribe did more than protect their own borders. It just doesn’t seem fair to put it all on one person.”
Thank you Aang thought. He wasn’t ready to admit who he was to the Restorationists. In fact, he would have been happy if no one had known. But Zuko saying it didn’t all have to be on his shoulders...no one but Gyatsu had told him that.
“This would mean so much to the Tribe.” Katara said softly, looking at a scroll describing building elaborate structures from ice.
“Would if be better to get the original or copies?” Zuko asked.
Katara gave him a look that was just shy of a glare. “What do you think?” “Depends on how quickly you need the information. We always put originals in the closest cache to where we find them. Like this Waterbending scroll-” Zuko opened one. “-we recovered from pirates in the Earth Kingdom. You can tell from this marking that the original is in our cache in the Fuxai ruins.” He pointed to a small green emblem at the top of the note explaining it was a reproduction. “That’s quite a distance from here. So if the goal is to get the information to your tribe as quickly as possible, it would be easier for me to get a few hands and copy all we have. We’d probably be finished by this evening, which means you could leave to return with it as soon as tomorrow morning. However if it’s important is the cultural history, it makes more sense to get the originals, even though traveling to all the caches would be months worth of work.”
“Oh,” That was...well thought out. It occurred to Katara this may not have been the first time the true owners  of what the Restorationists recovered had come claiming what was theirs.
“Do you think you could do both?” Sokka asked seriously. “Make the copies now and, since we’re going on a journey with Aang, we can swap out the new copies for originals if we pass by.”
“Certainly.” Zuko smiled. “And it gives me a convenient excuse to take a break form trying to decipher Monk Chaiyun’s script for a little while.”
“One question though. If you thought you could be done by tonight and it was important, why would we wait till tomorrow to leave?” Aang wondered.
“And the others say I’m reckless.” Zuko rolled his eyes. “You guys just scaled the mountain. You know how dangerous it is to navigate in broad daylight. In the dark? Even I’d call it a death trap.”
“Actually we don’t. We flew in on my flying bison.” Aang explained.
Zuko froze, then looked at Aang as though he was seeing him for the first time. “A...a real...you really are a...” His mouth opened and closed several times. “Can I see it?” he finally said, then buried his face in his hands as thought that wasn’t at all what he’d wanted to say out loud.
“Sure!” Aang rose to his feet, wind swirling around him. Zuko gaped openly, but followed the monk outside to where they’d entered the temple from.
Zuko hadn’t been the only one interested in Appa. A large group of Restorationists were staring, albeit from a good distance away.
“This is Appa. He’s been my best friend since we were little.” Aang introduced.
Zuko stared in wide eyed wonder. “Can I touch him?”
“Sure, Appa’s friendly. Aren’t you?’ Aang asked, as if expecting the bison to answer.
Zuko tentatively reached out  and touched Appa. He stroked it for a few minutes before impulsively hugging Appa, burying himself in the white fur.
“He’s so fluffy,” Zuko proclaimed in a muffled voice.
Katara laughed and even Sokka smiled. “Still not sure on the rest of them, but this Fire Nation guy’s alright.”
Katara smiled back at him, and at Aang, who was eagerly showing Zuko the best way to pet Appa. Yeah. This one was okay.
246 notes · View notes
llogllady99 · 4 years ago
Text
We’ll meet again
Tumblr media
CHARACTERS | Levi, Erwin, Gabi, Falco
RELATIONSHIPS | Levi x Erwin
GENRE | Angst, Characters death
IV | Characters death, talks of reincarnation, mourning, angst, heavy angst i think, Erwin’s grave
SUMMARY | It was the 14th of October and Levi had just come to visit his late lover’s grave: Commander Erwin Smith, dragging Falco and Gabi with him.
WORD COUNT | 2k
Droplets sharp like knives rained down relentlessly against the jagged and worn out headstones in Paradis’ graveyard, further eating away at the already damaged and weathered rock. Puddles have formed in the depressions of the little allies that snaked in between the graves, gravel and dirt mixing with the glacial downpour of mid October. Trees, specifically three or four oak trees and five pine trees that were placed in acute measured intervals, were dripping with water, their leaves ruffled violently by the gale that accompanied the rain. The clouds and sky were a dark grey, occasionally splitting when lightning broke through, immediately followed by the roar of thunder, silencing and drowning out every sound present in that moment in the valley and everything in its vicinity. When such events did not occur, the high pitched squeaking of a wheelchair and its occasional bumping into small, misplaced bits of gravel could be heard, accompanied by short and light footsteps following it closely could be heard.
In the terrible weather, that had decreased the visibility exponentially, three figures could be distinguished making their way through the alleys of the graveyard: the owner of the wheelchair, a man in his forties with onyx black haired and with an enormous scar deforming his once perfect face, and two children: a girl with chestnut brown hair the same colour as her eyes and a boy with blonde hair and hazel golden eyes. Their destination was still unknown as the boy had trouble following the instruction the man in the wheelchair voiced, his tone growing more aggressive by the minute, his excitement and eagerness starting to show. But as time progressed, their destination seemed to be at the far back of the cemetery, where a massive white marble head stone laid, seemingly unaffected by the furious torrent around it. It was the 14th of October and Levi had just come to visit his late lover’s grave: Commander Erwin Smith, dragging Falco and Gabi with him.
Seven years had passed since Erwin’s death but it still felt like it was yesterday. The pain, regret, and love were still as intense as they were when the man took his last breath, abruptly raising his hand up asking that damned question again before inhaling and exhaling shallowly. It was a cruel world they had lived in back then and certainly letting Erwin rest had been the best decision and one of the greatest gestures of love Levi had done for him. They all suffered so much, him most out of them all. There was no point in bringing him back and let those regrets and guilt pile up even more. Sometimes, selfishly Levi would allow his mind wonder and wish his lover would be there again with him, if only for a little bit, enough to witness the world they were in now. A world with no more wars and hardships. He would also imagine their life together: buying an apartment together in the centre of Mitras, raising a few pets together, getting married for real, adopting, and taking him to the ocean, a wonder which Erwin never had the chance to experience. Levi would have shown him all the weirdly shaped shells that Armin was so passionate about, the colourful fishes that swam where the water was deeper, and the way the sun rose from the water, painting it in vibrant yellows, oranges, and reds.
Levi had also told Gabi and Falco about Erwin, telling them about the greatness of his Commander, their relationship, and about his last moments. The children had been surprisingly understanding, Gabi’s prejudice’s long forgotten, and had offered him great comfort telling him they wanted to know more and actually meet the man, well what remained of him. Levi reckoned that there would only be his bones, if they had not turned to ashes those seven years, and maybe a phew strands of his infuriatingly beautiful golden hair, a feature of his which the raven adored. Therefore, here he was, looking down at the white marble headstones, emotions and memories flooding back in again. He briefly showed the children the headstone and then asked for a little privacy. With sympathy, they obliged and walked off in a random direction through the cemetery, each equipped with a black umbrella, shielding them from the torrential rain.
Now alone, Levi readjusted his umbrella so it sat upright without his support, then reached for the bag that rested against one of the armrests. It was a brown leathered sling bag which he took from Erwin a while ago. He had found the bag while gathering his things from his office when they came back from the expedition. Back then it had brought back memories of secret picnics in flowery meadows on their days off. Erwin always had to drag him by force because Levi didn’t know how to let go, comfortable in his routine. Looking back now they should have done that more often. He missed the whispered I love yous, make outs with flowers in their hair and dirt on their clothes, half-assed sandwiches stollen from the barrack’s kitchen. Now, besides Erwin’s cloak that was neatly folded and handled with the utmost care in his apartment back in Marley, the bag was a reminder that Erwin had indeed lived among them, that he was not some figment of his imagination. Inside it he had stored a mini wooden and golden gramophone. It had been a gift from Onyankopon, because the man had noticed his enjoyment and fascination with music. After carefully placing it in his lap, next he took out a small record that he gently placed on the gramophone. Looking back at the headstone he tried to imagine that Erwin was there, in his Survey Corps uniform with a warm smile on his face staring back at him. Levi lifted his chin, looking into his lover’s eyes, but to an outsider into pure nothingness. Now in a wheelchair, he was even shorter than him, albeit at his one meter and some hope, he didn’t have much to compare to Erwin in the first place. But now it seemed as if their faces were miles away.
“Listen carefully now big guy, I’m about to play you my new favourite song.” Levi smiled then proceeded to gently place the tonearm over the disc record. The disc started rotating, then the sound of trumpets sounded through the horn and into their surroundings. After a short intro, it sang:
We'll Meet Again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know We'll Meet Again
Some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away
So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song
We'll Meet Again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day
We'll Meet Again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again
Some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away
So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song
We'll Meet Again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know We'll Meet Again
Some sunny day
As the song came to a stop, the disc record spinning slower and slower, a stray tear found its way on Levi’s cheek, streaming down fast at first but as it reached his jawline, it faltered for a little then fell on his shoulder, colouring almost imperceptibly the grey suit a darker grey. The gramophone, now ceasing to emit any kind of sound, was tucked right back to its fateful place in Levi’s bag. Rearranging it so that it rested again comfortably against the armrest, the raven turned his attention to the imaginary Erwin that stood motionless on his own headstone, staring back with the same vibrant cerulean eyes and soft smile. Usually, Levi would have felt unnerved by his stare, always reprimanding him with a “What you looking at, creep?”, but now he missed it dearly, the longing clawing at his chest and making it hard for him to go through with what he had to say next. So, ignoring the lump forming in his chest and the tears that threatened to fall, Levi opened his mouth and began to talk:
“Do you know why I like this song, Erwin? Because it reminds me of all of you. You, Hange, Mike, Petra, my squad, the brats.” Stopping to regain his composure, he inhaled and counted to three as Gabi had once told him, then continued his speech. “Do you wanna know what I did in the three years I wasn’t allowed to come to Paradis? I travelled. Like a lot. All over the world. I finally got to live for real. Getting to see all those place, the people, and cultures had been fascinating. However, one thing had struck me deeply: Buddhism. Such a strange name for a religion. And guess what, it has nothing to do with the walls or bad or wrong. It just is. One central belief of this religion is reincarnation. The concept had comforted me greatly. Life after death. Death is a natural part of the never ending cycle of life. Death leads to rebirth. It also claims that a person’s spirit remains close by and seeks out a new body and a new life.” Levi gulped then wiped away a few tears that had fallen. “But I don’t want you to find a new body. I don’t want any of you to find a body yet, I want all of you to wait for me. Wait for me, Erwin! Wait so we can start fresh together. Tell the others to wait for me too. Wait for me!” Levi had started to shout, desperation making its presence known.
He wanted to meet Erwin again, to fall in love with him all over again, to hold him, to be together again. If Erwin had reincarnated again, there was no way for Levi to meet him now, to fulfil all of his heart’s desire, and when he died, there would be no after life with Erwin. The only way was for them to wait for him so they can start fresh again.
“But who am I kidding? I only believe in this shit because it’s the only way to cope.” Levi brought a hand to his temples and massaged them, as another headache began to throb through his head. It had started to darken outside, they needed to get going, otherwise they would miss the ferry back to Marley. Hesitantly he called for Gabi and Falco to come get him. While he waited for them he told his lover one last thing:
“I have followed every order of yours, completing it. I chased Zeke for four years, all because I promised you. So, I also want you to promise me one last thing. Promise me we’ll meet again.”
The figure of Erwin standing on the grave vanished, leaving Levi alone. The raven rubbed away one last tear and greeted Falco and Gabi that were patiently waiting next to him. The three of them made their way out of the cemetery, Levi not sparing a look back. If he knew Erwin as well as he thought he did, he was confident they we’ll see each other again
They will meet again, one sunny day.
Notes :
The song for this fic is Vera Lynn - We'll meet again. I also posted it on Tumblr. Thank you for taking the time to read it! As always, I do not own Attack on titan or any of the characters that are in it. This is just a fanfiction inspired from the show! Thanks again and notes and comments are always welcomed. The gif was originally posted by @vialesana​ and Tumblr showed it to me.
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now-im-a-belieber · 4 years ago
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dinner and diatribes
a/n: Hello! I put it off as long as I could but I just HAD to start writing. So, Here it is, my first BoB fic! Any and all feedback is appreciated.
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After graduating and settling into the swing of the life you wanted to live, the universe seemed to actively work against you.
You did not get accepted into the college of your dreams. And the underfunded local university you wasted away at was the bane of your existence. You could barely land a job with all the hours you were required to stick to campus, and only made enough money walking dogs and watering plants to pay for tuition and the occasional new outfit. 
When you started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, with a few hundred saved away, and some time opening up to find career opportunities, the chatter about war turned from gossip to gospel. 
In fact, you'd made it all the way to the opposite side of a fine mahogany desk for your first full fledged interview when your dreams were promptly crushed. The man meant to interview you rushed in with flustered news he'd only just found out himself. He told you the company was shutting down. All the nation's money was being sorted to aid in the war. The president had called for rationing to start. 
The man was near tears when he asked you to leave, replacing a goodbye with a hopeful wish you might be able to come back again one day. 
You marched home at a loss. And the worst thing of all, was the fact that you didn't seem to have anyone to talk to about it all.
The best of your friends had moved away one by one, well meaning phone calls only coming from a couple now and again. Some weekends you managed a stroll through the park with Janice Dean. And you hadn't missed a single one of Rudy Delacroix's card parties. But the one friend you'd always been able to call upon seemed ever less interested in being a part of your life. 
Joe was busy as everyone else, you knew. But when he started canceling long standing plans, and forcing smiles when you skipped up to ask him on a last minute adventure, you realized something must have been very wrong. 
Over breakfast you'd prod him for answers. He'd joke about the state of the world and steal what was left on your plate. So, nothing could have been too wrong. Right?
Joe always entertained your random stops by, and offered you drinks and listened to you complain about uni. He’d curse the place and drag you to pubs and sneak you into films and waste hours by the waterfront laughing about nothing with you. He’d go great lengths to help you forget your dreary days, even if just for a moment. But lately you noticed Joe had stopped trading his own complaints- the kind he claimedvno one else would tolerate hearing besides you. 
And then… he stopped talking at all. Right when you figured it was time to ask what the hell the matter was. Joe wasn't at his place last you swung by, like you so often did. He didn't come around yours like he so often managed. He didn't answer his phone when you rang, and a real worry sprouted through you when the next time you tried, the line went dead.
And then you did see Joe. At the local grocer. You spotted his profile across the aisle and moved to meet him. And he clearly saw you too. When he did, he moved the other way, and disappeared from the stall all together, leaving you to panic over what you might've said or done to upset him so.
You went about your mundane week with a heavy heart. While you seemed to lose hope in the very near future, the world spiralled out of control outside of your windows. And you had no one to talk to about it. Until Joe's mother called. 
"Come round for dinner, won't you love?"
"Of course, ma." You'd been calling the woman by her motherly title since you and Joe first fused at the hip some odd years back. Since then his family had included you in most every occasion they could manage. Until a certain someone up and broke tradition a week or so ago...
"Great! Joe didn't want a big send off but we all know he'll want you to join in the last big family meal before he goes.”
His mother chirped through a sigh that crackled from the other line. And in her all too casual remark lied a clear answer to the impasse you'd been facing. 
"He what?" You asked low, through your teeth, with a sense of urgency you'd never felt in life, till now. 
"He didn't tell you did he?" Joe's mother seemed to ask less more than she seemed to realize; and before you could think up the right thing to say, you slammed the phone down, grabbed your purse, and flew out the door. 
Of course this was happening. How had you failed to realize? You shouldn't have had to realize. Joe should have told you he was shipping out. Everyone seemed to be. But he should have said so. He'd always told you everything. From the embarrassing to the inconsequential, Joe hadn't held back from droning deadly details to you since he'd started. The fact that something this detrimental had been hidden away sent smoke from your ears as you marched toward his family's home. 
The windows across the little brick cottage were all opened, the late day breeze blowing you up the porch steps. You traded knocking for bursting in the door. There wasn't time left to waste. And the realization hit you all at once… but you had a mission to complete before becoming all too overwhelmed. 
Joe's mother ducked out of way, a tray of warm food in hand. She did not try and stop your storm through the kitchen. The only one you’d taken by surprise was Joe, who turned from the sink with eyes as wide as empty dinner plates. 
"You didn't tell me?" You seethed, heading straight for him. Joe started to back away, moving toward the patio doors with his hands held in a pitiful defense. 
"I'm sorry-"
"Sorry?!"
He kept moving. So you marched after him, out into the yard; shouting all the way asking how the hell he could've kept this from you. How you were supposed to cope with all the worry you’d feel the longer he spent storming the front lines. Asking, flippantly, if he’d tell you what it was all like, or if you’d have to find out from a soldier who'd come knocking to tell the last of Joe’s news.
"I said I'm fuckin' sorry." Joe boomed, stopping near the trees that lined his family's property. You didn’t regret your frantic interrogation but you wished voicing your worst fears of losing him for good hadn’t been what finally got Joe to say something like he meant it.
You halted when he did, stunned to silence. But only for a beat. You watched Joe sigh and bring his hands to his face. 
"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" You pressed, much quieter but with disappointment ever present in your tone. You stepped a little closer, willing your friend to speak up. At least now you could see he was trying too. Joe tossed his head back, and shifted his weight to lean against a dying tree. 
"I don't know." He shrugged finally. It wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it was more than you had in awhile.
"I-I guess I didn't know how to." Joe spoke in a tone you'd never quite heard him use before. A terribly hopeless croak. 
"Didn't know how to tell me?" You had to laugh a little. All you ever did was tell each other things. 
"Didn't know how to leave you." Joe pointed, like it was obvious. You watched his jaw clench as you were baffled into silence once more. But only for a second.
"Well it seems like you've only got one night left to figure out how." You wanted to cry. "Thanks for wasting all the time we could've spent figuring it out together." 
You started to turn, only to hide the tears stinging your eyes. But as you stepped aside, Joe wrapped his hand around your wrist and yanked you to face him again.
"I'm an idiot but I am not stupid enough to let you go." He said, still keeping his hold on you. 
"I panicked." Joe admitted, speaking softly all of sudden. "And I’m sorry. And I don't ever want anything like that to ever happen again. I won't let it." 
You studied Joe and the look on his face and the way his eyes searched yours so easily, so acutely. Part of you wanted to keep shouting, to really drive home how abandoned you’d felt. But you could see how he'd withered under the weight of knowing so. But you couldn't even begin talking about what was meant to happen next... it was all too overwhelming. For as long as you could remember, you'd never not been near one another. 
"I wished I never had to find out how shitty a day without you felt. I'll always regret bringing it on.
As your mind raced and your heart ached, your brow furrowed when Joe started to move away from you. His spare hand latched onto your other wrist. And he knelt.
"I didn't mean to leave you out. I never want to again." Joe emphasized each word as he strung them together. And after a long pause he spoke again. "So...marry me?"
You wanted to laugh. A good hearty nausea inducing laugh. You could admit to yourself that over the years, in the very depths of solitude, you'd secretly wished for a moment like this, with Joe. But never in a zillion years, least of all now, had you seen it coming. 
You felt Joe's grip tighten as you blinked, bending ever so slightly closer to meet his eye.
"You're fucking crazy." You said, a montage of this week playing through your head. 
"Please." Joe desperately whispered. He wasn't begging you to be with him. He was only hoping that the two of you might make your always being together official. How could you say no?
"Yeah. Yes, of course, Joe-" You finally let a small chuckle escape as your tears started to bubble over. And before you'd finished stammering acceptance, Joe sprung to his feet and lifted yours off the ground in a long overdue embrace. 
He set you down and caught his breath and you started to lean in with a new, unabashed desire to press yours lips to his. But the guy spoke up with a gasped realization.
"Oh, I have got some good news." He grinned, mischievously. You only rose a brow and waited for the penny to drop. 
"I don't leave for a week." 
You understood every possibility that came from his news, and found despite every grim reality closing in around the two of you that the future was full of blindingly bright silver linings. 
Joe lifted you off the ground again, this time as he moved to start back inside. You bargained for him to put you back down, as he carried you toward the kitchen.
"We're getting married!" Joe called to whoever might've been around to listen. 
"That was quick. And just in time for dinner." His mother chirped, as you were returned to solid ground.
"Quick? I've been tryin' to do that since sometime after highschool." Joe pointed, following as you sauntered further in the room, smoothing your clothes and hiding a blush. 
"I meant the two of you have spatted longer over the color of the sky." His mother held a whisk your way, while fixing her eyes on her son. "I'm glad you worked this one out in record time." 
Joe reached for your hand as you stood, listening best you could, all of your senses entirely preoccupied by the man at your side. 
"And have you finally come to this joyous conclusion?" His mother softened, abandoning her dishes to shuffle toward the two of you. She gave out hugs and squeaks of excitement and gasped before taking off around the corner. She beckoned the two of you to follow her, and after a shared chuckle you did. 
His mother was stood at the vanity in her room, waving the pair of you in. And after only a second of pilfering through draws, did she pull out a ring. She gave it to Joe and said it was his grandmothers. The spritely woman shot you a beaming wink before creeping out of the door she'd only just invited you into. 
Then it was just you and Joe. Like usual. At fucking last.
He said nothing as he reached out to pull you nearer. He bit back a smile as he slid the diamond on your finger. Joe broke your admiration of the thing by placing both his hands on either side of your face. And he kissed you like you always dreamed of being kissed. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back like you always secretly longed to do. 
You spent the rest of that night squished between him and his family at the dinner table, like usual. They celebrated your news. And there was very little talk of where Joe was headed. But when he brought up the war and his leaving, he held your hand under the table and you felt the hug of the gold band around your finger and couldn't find reason to worry too much. You’d have time enough for that later. You'd miss him. You already did, a little. 
But you'd gotten through the worst yet, and come out of it hand in hand. But before he left, till heaven only knew when, you’d officially and always be together.
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seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years ago
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Puppet Strings
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Please don’t police the shit out of me for this one (I’ve read and seen all of what’s happening in Tumblr with the talented authors 😭😫---either way, I DGAF if I get judged for writing this. Y’all are getting this for free. LMAO. Welcome to my freakin’ kinky world. 😭
MASTERLIST
Characters: Stephen Colley x Reader
Summary: You’ve had Stephen wrapped around your finger by using your family’s kindness to your advantage---keeping him guilty and complying over whatever wishes you wanted---he was giving it due to your manipulative, cunning persona. You were being head-over-heels for him that made you have your reasons, thinking that being the way you are was fine for your strong obsession. 
Warnings: NSFW 18+ Manipulative reader. Obsessed reader. This is quite dark for me because she’s using our puppy to her benefit (somehow?)---using Stephen as if he’s her boy toy. Spitting. Sub!Stephen. Porn with a plot. (Though, this was planned to only be porn without a plot LMAO) Dub-con. Exhibitionism. Angst? Thirsty ass reader. Not connected to the plot of the movie.
Words: 3,810+
A/N: I didn’t know what happened that this ended up this way. Please don’t judge my soul for this.I was all ‘oh my baby stephen’ to writing this filthy shit. Also, Stephen’s 20 in this and the reader is 19, okay? So, legal. (In my country it is) ENJOY, FILTHY LADIES! This made me pout because of how soft Stephen is and the reader is quite...Eh. 😭 I think this will be a 3-5 part fic. Heehee. Or maybe not----lmao. We’ll see. 
Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS PART! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK AFTER READING, BB!  
Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and this fanfic is definitely from moi.
MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!
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THE SMELL OF BLUEBELLS WAS ARDENT AND SWITH, it's scent thoroughly withstanding and wafting through your nose with the odor of sweat. Stephen's earthy and musk scent adding more stimulation to what was being given down south and around the canvas of your breasts.
An ample amount of slime trailed a path from the swell of your knockers through the meander of your neck, feeling a pair of soft, delicate lips having its way and paving to have a suck; thrilled and exploratory over giving you a mark that you surely ordered him around to.
You've felt the tiny nibbles on your neck, feeling full over being filled by the cock of your family's lackey who happened to be under your manipulative, presumptuous fingers. Stephen was having his way with you, as he was commanded to do so in the middle of harvesting crops; all sweaty, dirty and masking in his domestic labor as your fingers hooked along his belt hoops, pulling him away from the field towards a veiled place where bluebells were filled.
The first time you've had sex with Stephen, he was beyond hesitant. His rosy cheeks fueled as if it was on fire from the moment you've asked him for more of his services; to be the one to take your virginity rather than a rich, middle aged man who had terrible mustaches that crept the heck out of you.
Stephen and his pure innocence understood your favors of help by wanting him to accompany you in the city while you buy things for yourself or stuff that your mother asked to buy.
Much to your dismay for his lack of apprehension, It wasn't the type of aid you were asking for.
How pretty his face flushed a lot more from how you've frankly told him that you needed a different type of assistance to satisfy that curiosity of yours made you giggle, the desire pooling more in the pit of your stomach, filling in the prurient passion as if it was enough to stimulate you.
Stephen Colley was utterly pretty, beyond God's work as he was sculpted with a face of a Greek God as people have been saying. Your family even admiring God's work of art by how he was created; enough to be painted and inspired to be sculptured in the museums. He was the first boy in your fantasies and the only one that could make you breathe deep breaths in between rubbing the itch in your mound as you explored your body by yourself that nobody ever had yet.
He was your fantasy. The boy in your dreams that you would gladly want to have in your life for years end.
After welcoming the afterglow of an orgasm, such debauched thoughts came into your head in the same time you've wanted to rub onto that button again for thinking about him.
You were going to have him. You wanted him, you've mindlessly convinced yourself. Stephen was a plague that could infect your precious little mind---the facade of an innocent, kind and shy sweetheart that your family has been seeing from you was ruined when you've reached puberty.
It wasn't helping that Stephen walked around the house with clothes that you surely want to ruin. Your mind being influenced by your older sister's experiences with men and how her sex life have been.
She was a wild one and deep inside---no matter how much you tell yourself that it was a deed that people respectfully hold onto, the untamed part of you wanted to experience it with the boy who had adorable rosy cheeks and a gorgeous accent that could make you gush.
Being in line with the heavens, you were lucky Stephen was quite naive despite being a year older than you and with all the plans you had inside your head, being manipulative and guilt-tripping him till he would obey was the only answer for him to accept your offers because the boy was beyond nice and respectful, innocent---delicate as he may seem in being a rose without thorns amongst the bundle of daisies growing along the field.
You weren't his first to be honest; hearing that he had his virginity taken by a lady when he was taking a trip to the city, the woman being older than him and enamored by his beauty, she was very pretty as Stephen saw her the first time---growing a little crush before the lady has offered him a night filled with pleasure, leaving him alone the next morning and a ton of cash that has left him heartbroken by expecting a number or a sweet filled morning with her.
Was this obsession you had for Stephen? you couldn't tell while having the luck of being boffed by him no matter how tentative he may been. The phrase you've been telling whenever he was reluctant held a powerful will for making him capitulate over your wishes.
'You're working for us---I'm your miss. Shouldn't you always follow what I have to say, Stephen?'
Guileful and conniving for you, but you've had no other choice especially when you've heard your sister gossip about how he was starting to take a liking over a girl across the neighborhood, the lady living in a castle---going way back with him and her family because they've known each other since they were kids until they've moved away and came back to their hometown.
Cassandra. That was her name. It was a name that should be left forgotten in Stephen's mind.
Your boy shifted in between your opened legs, your dress hiked up and his trousers unbuttoned; stopping on the end of his derriere as he stuck his swollen cock inside your tight folds, kissing and licking along your throat and breasts that had you mewling beneath him.
Begging him to take you in the middle of the grass to relieve that fantasy only he could satisfy, you've laid beneath him and promised that he could take his time and do whatever he pleases. Exploring every inch and depth of your body with your dress being in a bunch and unfastened by Stephen. Today, you've just wanted to feel him, touch him and let him be inside you because of certain feelings that can't be resisted.
He was patiently taking his time, both of you basking in the afternoon glow before dusk and never bringing in a gas lamp before night even arrives. Stephen was licking your taut nub, his mouth close to your nipple as his hot breath was fanning along his own saliva, bringing pleasure and satisfaction. Another weak whimper erupted from your mouth, watching his eyes closed; tongue darting out to flick your other hardened nipple before deeply moaning out his approval as he devoured your breasts with a tight, strong suck.
The lewd action was enough to make your spine and toes curl.
You've flexed your cunt, tightening around his girth and you've heard him lowly groan with your nipple in his mouth. He immediately pulled his mouth off your breasts with a pop. Innocent, lust-filled baby blues stared above you, the flicker in his eyes asking and waiting for your next behest.
"Stephen," was the only word you managed to croak out, sounding like you were being choked as you felt him slowly pull out of your thirsty cunt. He leaned his head to the left, dipping his head and giving you a kiss which caught you off-guard; it was plain and enough to take your mind off his throbbing cock that has slithered in. After being explored by his mouth on your body, Stephen's lips that landed on you to give a peck surely felt unfamiliar because you both rarely do share kisses in the midst of intercourse.
His crimson colored lips on yours felt divine. The sudden smooch probably involuntary in his part because of how sexually intimate you were being with him. You've swallowed the moan forming in your throat by feeling him wholly pull out, moaning and whining from the lack of imbue and by forcing yourself not to have your way with his lips---wanting nothing but to dance your mouth with his.
You knew this was a one-sided affection and he didn't entirely adored you like how you do for him.
Your fingers gripped onto the grass on either side, it traveled and clasped around Stephen's neck that felt balmy beneath the pad of your fingers. Drops of perspiration smoothening out as you watched him pant above you, breathless and in a daze. His cheeks turning rosier and crimson from such scabrous act you've brought him in.
He was heavy and scathing on your thigh. His hand grabbing onto the growing base of his throbbing, uncut, hard cock as he looked between you both, a shaky breath leaving his lips as he was feeling his cock on his hands, fingers enclosing around his girth to give it one jerk that made you salivate.
His neck was sweating, drops of perspiration falling along his temples and to distract yourself, you've darted your tongue out to sweep the sweat off his face, catching him off guard that made him throatily groan and cast you a look, his eyes withdrawn and thoroughly focused on what taboo you tried to help him be accustomed with.
The place you decided to be ravished on was rather risquè but also getting you more thrilled to know that your sister knew this spot as a location you always spend time with whenever you were reading. You've heard tiny shuffling of bushes which made Stephen look away and observe whoever that was with his eyebrows knotted together---distracting him and pushing the worry away just like you always do, you've quietly whispered in his ear.
"Put that cock in me, Stephen. Please,"
At the sound of you pleading, it was enough to pull his thoughts away from being concerned over your family catching you both in such a raunchy moment. Their daughter laid amongst the land, being ravished by their worker who they've trusted for all their heart---a boy whom they didn't expect to be salaciously connected with you.
The both of you were in for a tough scolding if caught.
Pointing the head of his cock in your entrance, he'd swiftly drove in. You were wet enough for him to slip inside with the right tightness of your cunt that pushed him to grunt as he filled you in one go. Your back curled from the penetration, the thirst for sexual gratification being answered by Stephen when he started to thrust his hips, experimenting over the pace that could make you moan around his arms before pummeling like how he wanted to.
"Oh yeah---yeah---yes, just like that," you've choked in your own moans and pleasure, licking your lips and watching how he was defiling your cunt with his cock, your slick moisturizing his---the filthy sound of your juices coating his, thrusting in and out of your folds; becoming music to the sound of insects probably watching how you were both sending each other raptures.
Stephen knew how thrilled you were becoming by the audible sound of how filthy he was making you feel. Being aware of the obscene sound whenever he tries to fasten the pace, slowing down to let you both appreciate the erotic sense of debauchery has gotten you biting your lip up at him.
You were his miss and whatever you wanted was his job to give.
He'd slip a hand in between you, the pad of his thumb finding your clit and when he did, Stephen started rubbing that throbbing nub of yours in rough, circular motions making your core jerk, your hips chasing his hand with each thrust he gives; entirely accepting and embracing the sheer pleasure he was giving.
Your boy was deeply grunting with each shove of his hips, his cock befouling your scheming soul and you were loving every moment---cherishing the sounds he create that only you could muster.
Only you, not Cassandra---not anyone.
In the midst of such onslaught and currently trapped in your own bliss, you've never took heed of Stephen panting out your name; thinking that he was bemoaning his desperation for continuously prodding your hole in a greedy pace, his carping had a flicker of perturbation in his diluted, lust-filled baby blues as he tried to catch your attention.
"Miss---Miss," Stephen couldn't stop his smutty assaults. Too concentrated on reaching both of your highs as he peered down at you with his peepers growing larger when he heard your name being called from afar; being an echo of warning that what you were both caught up with was utterly unchaste.
"---your family---ugh---they're seeking for you," he grunted with every word and plunge; his pace never stopping and his fingers reaching further down to polish your clit. Your leak being spread all over your folds as he licked his lips, admiring how you were writhing beneath his body---how you reacted to his ministrations.
Their voices echoed from afar, alerting you both that they were closer than you imagined them to be. It was the dead of the night already, the time after nightfall as you both welcomed the sins of passion that you have gotten Stephen to be involved in again. Being in the shadows of the night, the moment was easier to covert from your family as you laid to satisfy your mania. The ruffle of grass being stepped on repeatedly actually has been the sound of Stephen ardently violating your cunt along the land of dew.
You've both turned your heads to see light coming from the far distance. A buzz of incomprehensible words of unknown from your sister who was mindlessly telling her hunches as to where you both went; remembering that Stephen was also not around for her to ask if he could buy stuff around town because it was already night time.
"Oh, yes!---don't mind them!---just do me,"
He slowed down his pace, skeptical over being caught but never stopping his thrusts while his features turned conflicted over being dubious and also feeling like he was floating for the twist of elation written on your face from his drives. You've grabbed onto his hair, roughly turning his head to face yours as he loudly grunted and groaned above you, the sound made you slip a finger on his lips to shush his moans.
"You're not going to get caught---we're not going to get caught. Just stifle your moans. You can do that. You're a good boy---our good boy and you'll make me cum, right?"
The whispers you've managed to slip past your lips made him stare down at you, understanding what you were trying to point out and it has not been seconds before he'd nodded before you, starting his relentless pace that made you sigh as he was trying to build up your orgasm again, grabbing onto your ankle and hooking it around his hip as he continued to forge himself in you; his breath hitting your face with every push---grunts being uncontrolled from the actions.
You've heard a twig break from behind, not wanting Stephen to be distracted---you've grabbed onto his face and forced him to look at you; your heart beat never ceasing to run fast whenever he stares into your eyes. The fast heart beat also being the cause of your orgasm coming.
He'd shifted in between you, your hips bucking to meet every thrust he offered. Mewling out lewd moans whenever he hits that spot that felt so heavenly. Reaching for his hand, you've guided him back to where he has been flicking---your clit that he immediately rubbed on as you were approaching your high.
Loud, rough grunts came from his throat, feeling his own coming as your cunt gripped him hard for the sounds he was creating. Your mouth and face contorted in sheer pleasure when you've violently thrashed against his hold. Stephen's unconscious response was to grab onto you, keeping you closer to his lean, muscular body---a wiry sculpted body from all the hard work that he does for your family; convulsing in his arms as you gushed around his penetrative cock.
Rambunctious ugh's came from the both of you, especially from your boy who was in the midst of coming. Your sensitive cunt was jolting as Stephen went on in propelling himself, his face of bliss bringing you ecstacy as it was hot for a beautiful face to be debauched like that. You've forgotten your family who was in search for you when he wholly pulled out just in time for him to spill his warm seed over your torso, his load shooting out in spurts as he breathed heavily above you.
You've both shared silence after a moment of paradise. As a habit you've held Stephen accountable, he'd delicately held onto your jaw with his calloused fingers, pinching them together to set forth over opening your mouth. It was an understanding and idea that you told him about after an act of pleasure. He was against the idea at first before you've basically convinced him that there would be no moment as if you were being degraded. But, he somehow has become used to it after quite some time.
Besides, it was one of your wishes. His miss surely needed to have it when she wants it.
Gradually opening your lips, Stephen has lined his mouth on you. Drawing down a line of spit and aiming to shoot it inside; thoroughly not bothered about the fact of it already as he spat inside your mouth, making you grin as he gathered his spilled cum on your torso with a finger, slipping them inside your vermillion, his eyes in a daze as he concentrated over the mouth that has sucked on his cream-filled fingers---swallowing the mixture of his saliva and release like it was food for your tainted soul.
He certainly didn't expect you to be ribald and deceptive from such a religious family---But, considering your sister and her liberated moments, maybe it was probably in the blood.
"Was it how you liked it today?" he simply acknowledged, tone curious over the fact of being caught by your family was thrilling you which is why you've dragged him along the meadow while he was working, asking him for a quick frigging in a deserted, furtive space.
Stephen helped you wear your dress after snapping his breeches back, keeping himself decent. He still wore his white, dirt-filled tank top. Slipping over his suspenders on his shoulders, the latter remained sitting on the grass as you stood up. The expression on his face mixed with a look of a puppy who was blushing under the moon light, his hair utmost unkempt and clothes looking rumpled as if he had a wild night.
"It was everything, Stephen." you softly muttered, flattening the stresses of your dress with the back of your hand, erasing any proof or evidence that you had a nooky with your family's beautiful helper. A sigh left your lips as the ache of thirst was probing your spine, yearning for more than once today.
"---But, can you do me one more favor?"
"Anything, Miss Y/N."
Stephen waited and watched for your response, seeing you ogling at his beauty as he sat silently, catching sight of those suggestive flicker of your eyes under the night.
You've knelt before him, having your height differences obvious from how you tried being eye to eye as he was still taller than you. He'd simply studied your face, changing into an expression that he wouldn't get to reject---not that he ever does because he had no other choice but to follow what you wanted because you were still his patron.
"Can you visit my chambers after dinner?"
He was quick to become uncertain over the service being asked. His thoughts hastily going to what happened in the middle of fornication a while ago; the risk of being exposed by your family for what you both decided to tumble through the afternoon, "But, Miss---"
His protests were cut short when you've distracted him with a delicate kiss to the lips, using it to your advantage as it left seeing him swallowing his apprehension down in the pit of his stomach. Kissing you back with a soft peck that got you sighing when he pulled away to wait for your answer, his complains never being risked to be told. Currently disoriented from the kiss you've given him out of the blue and from the feeling of being confused over what he should feel for letting you have him explicitly.
"My family won't be awake in the middle of the night,"
"Would...you wish to be ravished again?" he understood what you wanted. Another part of his services that he only gives you because you were artful enough to manipulate him into thinking that the idea was fine---that giving you his body and soul was fine.
Stephen had his utmost respect for everyone in your family because he was thankful for them to be employed in the household. Which is why he was even helping you in this part of favor that he surely could have no say about.
"Yes. Can I have you for the night?---I need you tonight,"
He gave a small smile, his fingers reaching for a couple of bluebells from behind. Completely helpless to be under your demands, "If you are in need of it, then I suppose it is fine. Will it help you sleep at night?" the latter slipped the flower behind your ear, his beam so precious with a soul valuable enough to be exploited or influenced by your manipulative ploys.
"Yes---Yes, it does. It'll keep me in deep slumber rather than sleeping like I never have slept at all,"
"---Then you can have me again if you want to---all night if you wish so,"
You've let him tuck the flower, appreciating how handsome and charming he sweetly smiled when you've taken his fingers and kissed every pad of it.
"Thank you, Stephen. You're amazing,"
"Anything for you, Miss."
There will be no place for Cassandra or any other women in his mind. You were determined to swarm his thoughts with only you---where he would worship no other woman nor let him have the desire to feel pleasure over others. From the moment he came into your lives, you've already marked him as your person when you were younger; having this toxic affection for him from the moment you've seen his sweet, seraph face. His personality and characteristics being adding more to your fixation when he was so kind to be gullible---fastening him in a physical-venereal connection that would aid to your benefit.
Stephen Colley was only yours and a puppy---your puppy that you would gladly take care of forever even if it means to be the bad guy in the house.
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So, what’s cooking? LMAO. Leave feedbacks to give me power to write the second part. HA!
General taglist for Henry and his characters: @agniavateira​, @iloveyouyen​, @rahdaleigh​, @silverkitten547​, @henrythickcavill​, @kaatelyyynn​
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anoramactir · 3 years ago
Text
when you wish.
i wrote fic! can you believe it? because i can’t, i literally never finish anything. but it’s kana from @speakergame​‘s birthday today, and there was a small event in the official server.
i rewrote this like.... eighty times because i couldn’t figure out how to go about it, and eventually i settled on mini fills for each prompt that kind of go together. and then i combined prompts 2 & 3 because i couldn’t figure out 2 individually. the end result is something i’m not entirely pleased with, but whatever. love you, kana! <3
PROMPTS TWO & THREE: candles & music.
The day starts, rather inauspiciously, with the blaring of a fire alarm just after sunrise. Just last year, Kana had slept till noon, wandered into the nearest bakery, & purchased the fluffiest red velvet cupcake they’ve ever had. This year  -  spent leaning against the kitchen door as Finn swears at the alarm, Cricket barking furiously at her feet  -  is somehow better. They’ve gone soft, it seems, and Lily will never let them live it down. “Well,” they start, blowing lightly at the yet-smoking pancakes, “I guess I’ve heard worse birthday songs. And the candles are rather creative.”
It’s actually the (generous) truth, but Finn still pouts as she clambers off the counter. “Don’t be mean,” she says, “I was trying to do something nice.” And it was a sweet thought  -  red velvet pancakes, coffee from Greta’s, a tiny present badly hidden behind the fruit bowl. But the best of intentions can’t change facts, and the fact is Fiona Demir can barely be trusted to boil water. Kana’s not any better themself, admittedly, but at least they can admit their weaknesses.
“It would have been nicer to let me sleep.” Despite the chiding words, there’s only fond laughter in Kana’s voice, and Finn’s ire visibly eases.
“Next year,” she promises. Rising to her tiptoes, she tries to press a kiss to Kana’s cheek. Instead, Kana turns to meet her mouth with their own, and the both of them are smiling by the time they pull apart. “Happy birthday, by the way,” Finn says, slightly out of breath, “I meant to say it first thing, but... like I said, I’ll do better next year.”
It sends a thrill through Kana, the easy way she says it. Next year, as if it’s a given. As if Kana’s place is in Finn’s home, in her bed, in her life, and that will never change. Perhaps that should scare them, after so much uncertainty. Precious few things in their life have proven permanent. It is frightening, a little. But today is their birthday, and they refuse to spend it worrying. “I'll hold you to that,” they tease. “Now- what exactly are we going to do about breakfast?”
Finn eyes the charred remains of her pancakes, apparently judging them inedible. (Thank the gods for that. Kana would have forced them down, but they weren’t looking forward to it.) “The drow next door wanted opinions on her 4th of July menu. How do you feel about taste-testing?”
“Lead the way, sweetheart.”
PROMPT ONE: balloons.
“That is a terrible idea.” It should be a protest, but Lily sounds almost eager, delighted at watching disaster unfold. But in all fairness, none of them have tried to stop Rory. Sebastian seems to think it’d be hopeless, Azalea is too shy, and Kana... Kana has a pretty girl in their lap, and that’s much more interesting than a helium tank and some balloons.
It had been a lovely party, but by now most of the guests have filtered out (their ribs still ache from Ana Leighton’s goodbye hug) and only the usual suspects remain. Kana can see their own contentment reflected on Finn’s face, an easy sort of joy from giving them a good day. They can’t help it. They kiss her. The taste of buttercream icing still lingers in Finn’s mouth, and Kana presses closer without concious thought. The chatter fades into the background, everything hazy and almost dreamlike, and-
POP!
Finn topples to the side, and nearly takes Kana down with her. They just barely catch themselves, blinking dazedly at the bits of plastic raining across the room. “Roderick Kane.”
“It’s not my fault!” But even he doesn’t seem to believe it. There’s no shame on his face, though, just a stifled grin. “Shit, that was the mermaid balloon. Do you think that’s bad luck for you?”
Maggie scoffs. “Don’t be so superstitious,” she says, which seems a tad hypocritical coming from the psychic. "It just means we need to keep you away from anything breakable. Also, you’re cleaning this up.”  
Deciding to leave them to it, Kana turns back to Finn. She’s already climbing off the floor, seemingly more amused than anything. Still, they reach out to check.  “Sweetheart, are you alright?”
“I’m in unspeakable pain and will need a gorgeous nurse,” she cheerfully replies, which roughly translates into I’m fine, just obnoxious. Kana rolls their eyes, but can’t quite hide a smile. Finn, sensing weakness, pounces. Her puppy dog eyes really are unfairly cute. Cricket can hardly compare.
“Isn’t that Lily’s job? I don’t want to put her out of work.”
Yet Finn is - unsurprisingly - undeterred. “But Bas will be jealous! Besides, the doctor specifically said it had to be a siren.”
It’s a hopeless fight. They give in. Wrapping their hands around Finn’s waist, Kana pulls her back into their lap.  “Well,” they muse, “then I guess I have to care for you.” They brush their fingers lightly against Finn’s temple, against the beginnings of a faint bruise.
Something must show in their expression- some dangerous affection, because Finn’s teasing fades into something soft. “You take care of me,” she says quietly,  “and I’ll take care of you.”
PROMPT FOUR: gifts.
It’s earlier than Kana usually sleeps, but they’re exhausted all the same. A good sort of exhaustion, though, the kind that only comes from a day spent well. They’re wrapping their hair up, humming idly to themselves, when Finn pads into the room. There’s a wrapped box in her hand, apprehension in her face, and Kana raises an eyebrow in surprise.  “You already gave me concert tickets, remember?”
Finn shakes her head as she takes a seat, saying, “Those were from Maggie and me. This is... Maggie agreed to it, but it’s really from me.” At last she hands it over, and Kana tracks the way she fiddles with her bracelet, the way she can’t quite meet their eyes. They could ask, but it’ll be faster to just open the present.
Their breath catches. “...A key?”
“To the house,” she answers, almost before Kana has finished their question. “I know we never lock the door anyway, and you’re already here most of the time, but- it’s symbolic, I guess. I’m asking you to stay.”
Kana hadn’t needed the clarification (there’s only so many ways to interpret a key) but they almost ask Finn to repeat herself, anyway. They’d known they were wanted here, truly. A designated seat at the kitchen table, their name on the chore wheel, their favorite CDs stored in the car. Their welcome has never been in doubt. 
‘I’m asking you to stay.’ Somehow, it’s different hearing it out loud.
“I love you.”
It’s not an answer, not really. But from the way Finn beams, maybe it’s as good as. “Good,” she says, “because next year, I’ll probably get you a ring.”
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