#i wish i could just pretend that everything was normal .. i miss my friends but i just feel like a burden to everyone i talk to

[taiyami]

I'm going on hiatus, I will put some things in my queue but I will not be around to answer asks for at least a few days. Be good to each other.

[am-i-interrupting]

The Interview | Vox x Alastor’s Child— OATSH

Summary: Being the daughter of both a famous radio show host and a serial killer lead to you being interviewed a lot throughout your life. This interview was different though. The host had something the others didn’t, charisma.

Warnings: none

You remember being shoved into the radio booth that was your fathers and being forced to answer all these questions about him, his life, and how you felt about police speculating your father was a murderer and whether or not you knew if that was true.

You were thirteen. You were grieving. You were forced to go from news station to news station to answer the same questions that you never knew the correct answers to.

Now you were in your early twenties. You wrote a book about what it was like to live with a murderer, dumbed down for the public and without all the things they’d find controversial. Like how you never saw anything wrong with what your father did, all those sentimental moments that piled up when you thought of him, how you slipped some poison in the drink of the man who killed him when you “interviewed” him for your book. No, none of that made it in.

You adjusted your skirt and looked at yourself in the window, making sure you looked the part of a sweet innocent girl.

A man walked into the room, demanding the attention of everyone with his perfectly styled hair, pressed suit, and loud footsteps. He looked around the room and when his eyes landed on you he broke out into a wide smile.

“Hello, my dear,” he said reaching for your hands. He cupped both of his around yours as he introduced himself.

“We’re about to go live in two minutes. I’m going to introduce you. You come in from the right, sit down right here, and then we’re just going to go through some of the questions I sent you. Although, we may stray from that to keep conversations flowing. Sound good?” He didn’t give you the time to answer as he nearly sprinted to set. “Places, everyone. Places.”

The cameras started rolling and you got to sit back for a moment and simply watch the man in his element.

“And welcome back!” he said. “Tonight, we have a very special guest. A girl born into a single parent home after the death of her mother and turned orphan after the death of her father, if you’ve been around as long as I have you’ve surely heard of her before and if you haven’t? Well, you shouldn’t be here. This is the night show, after all!

“Normally, I’d say welcome to our guest but just for tonight, I’ll take a lesson from the old radio and welcome our guest the way her father welcomed his. Dearly beloved, for your entertainment, it’s my pleasure to introduce to you the book world’s latest author,” he said your name as he walked towards the edge of the set, cameras following him.

He extended his hand for you to take as you walked up the steps. He led you to your seat.

When the pleasantries were done, the questions began. “So, tell me, what was it like being raised by a serial killer?”

“Well, I wish I could give you a simple answer but I’ve written a whole book about it. To spare you the long story, I’ll put it simply,” you began. “My father was good at pretending that nothing was wrong, that everything was normal and I believed it. He homeschooled me like he was. I did school work in his office and when he was done for the day we’d go home. I didn’t really have friends my age to tell me different.

“He had a friend. When I was a child, he’d take me to her house for us to have ‘girls days’ since my mother died during childbirth neither of us questioned it. Missing persons reports would be filed days after.”

“And this friend, did she ever suspect anything?” the show host asked.

“I wouldn’t know. I never got the chance to ask. She died in the 20s,” you told him.

“That must have been hard for you.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“I can’t help but wonder, do you think your father killed her as well?” he asked.

You tensed. Your back now straight as a board and your hands itching to clench into fists at the mere thought. You took a slow breath.

“My father had a type. She was not his type,” you said, voice a bit hard just a bit too defensive. Your true accent coming out just the slightest instead of the polished voice your father taught you from such a young age.

“And what was his type?”

“It was mostly men. Sometimes women, but mostly men. Especially men who didn’t respect those of fairer means,” you said. “He thought himself chivalrous.”

“And what did you think?”

“I thought he was good intentioned,” you said, words practiced long ago. “My father was always very protective of people he viewed as defenseless.”

“Do you know what triggered this specific brand of protection?”

“I never got to meet my grandmother. His father made sure of that. You see, she was a black woman and he was a white man. It was bad for his image to have a child with her so eventually he made sure she would never tell anyone and my father made sure I would never have to meet him,” you explained. “I believe that through the killings he committed, he was making sure that no other person would have to face the wrath of an angry man without reason.”

“That is very insightful information,” he said before he continued on with the interview.

You were pulling on your jacket to leave when the interviewer came up to you.

“Allow me to walk you home,” he said.

“I’m simply here for advertisement,” you told him. “I don’t have a home here.”

“Then let me walk you to your hotel. It’s late, I’d hate for something to happen to you,” he insisted.

You turned towards him finally. “As the child of a serial killer, I can’t say those words comfort me.”

You spun around and walked out the door of the building but he still followed you. “And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Your interview time is over,” you told him.

“I’m not trying to interview you,” he said. “I’m trying to understand you.”

“And why would you want to do that if not for some information to spin about me in your next news report?” you asked.

“I remember your father’s radio show,” he said. “I remember one day he was gone and the next day you were there. Thirteen years old, not even that much younger than I was, answering all these same questions.”

“Then you know how long I’ve answered them. That’s why I wrote the book,” you told him.

He shook his head and jogged a bit in front of you. “I remember thinking of how brave you had to have been and I just want to know the woman that brave girl has turned into.”

You stared at him for a moment, taking in everything about him. He was handsome, that much was for sure. You definitely understood why he was a show host. He had the looks for television and the charisma needed to hook an audience to go with it.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m pretty sure that’s a line my father used on his victims is all,” you said walking past him.

“Really? All that back and forth just for such a simple answer?” he asked.

“Call me careful,” you said with a wave over your shoulder.

“Paranoid is the word I’d choose.”

“Maybe you should be more cautious,” you told him, taking a moment to spin around and walk backwards to look at him.

When you faced forwards once more you couldn’t help but smile. Maybe radio is what you grew up with but the television was beginning to amuse you as well.

[flightfoot]

Miraculous Ladybug Fanfic Recs for 2022

As a lot of you know, I read metric butt-ton of Miraculous fanfics, so I wanted to share with you 19 multi-chap fics, and 16 Miraculous one-shots (I just went through all the ones I really wanted to rec people instead of trying to fit a particular number) that I think y’all should take a look at. I tagged people’s tumblr blogs when I knew them, but I may well have missed some, especially if their username was different between AO3 and tumblr. Feel free to tag authors who I missed. Note that I’m only counting fics that were completed in 2022, so no ongoing fics. Enjoy!

Multi-chap fics:

When The Morning Comes by @into-september:

Gabriel Agreste has been unmasked as Hawkmoth, and the girl who was fighting him all these years turns out to be Tom Dupain's daughter. And standing between them is Adrien Agreste with his life in shatters that Tom Dupain has no way of piecing together.

But baking is at least a place to start.

I love how this not only digs into Adrien’s character, but Tom’s as well, especially how both of them have been estranged from their fathers. I haven’t seen that come up much.

---

Walking That Mile by @nomolosk

Nino and Alya wake up in the wrong bodies. Several things result from this, including, but not limited to, identity reveals and a better understanding of what their respective best friends are going through.

Never knew I needed Nino!Plagg and Alya!Tikki in my life, but there you go XD. It’s not all fun and games though, this is a Hawkmoth Takedown fic as well, and dealing with the effects of that.

---

The Sidekick Conspiracy by @bring-the-storm:

It's common knowledge among the heroes of Paris that their sidekick, the civilian Marinette Dupain-Cheng, is actually secretly their leader, pretending to be a normal girl who just ‘happens’ to show up at battles. Common knowledge to everyone except Marinette. What do you do when you're in the center of a conspiracy that doesn’t actually exist? In which Marinette is confused, Chat has no idea what's going on, Master Fu just wants Marinette to be safe, and everyone is misinterpreting the situation.

This one is just fun! Marinette has no idea she keeps on being given jewelry all of a sudden, and Fu’s frustrated that she won’t actually USE the damn Miraculous already.

---

As the dust settles by @pengirl91:

After Ladybug lost everything and yet her partner stood by her, she realized what she had been trying to lie to herself about for months. She is undoubtedly in love with him. The only problem is that she's terrified of what that could lead to and there's a monumental task ahead of them before it might be safe to act on her feelings for him... more than she already has.

Post Strike Back with my hopes, wishes, and predictions for season 5 as I wait with great impatience. Now complete.

The meat of this story is mostly a SentiAdrien fic. Adrien discovers that Gabriel is Hawkmoth, so Gabriel orders him to stay silent about what he found out, as well as giving orders to help him with plans to obtain the Miraculous he needs. Luckily, he doesn’t know that Adrien is Chat Noir...

---

A Little Fall Of Rain by @funnydoesntlookdruish:

Unable to transform in time, Marinette sacrifices her life to save Adrien from an assassin. With the help of the Kwamis, Adrien is able to bring her back to life, but it comes at a price. One that Adrien alone must pay. Now, Adrien is forced to keep even more secrets. The fact that Marinette is alive and that she has been his Lady all long. More than ever, they must defeat Hawkmoth. Only then can Marinette return to her life.

This one’s pretty angsty, arguably even more on Adrien’s end than Marinette’s. As part of their cover, Adrien has to be injured pretty badly, in ways that couldn’t be reversed if not for magic.

---

Strangely Familiar by @sunfoxfic

Alya Césaire’s life is perfect. Indeed, between the success of the Ladyblog, how well she’s doing in school, and the fact that she’s a superhero who has never bore the weight of a crisis of epic proportions, her life almost couldn’t be better. Almost.

But Alya has always been a go-getter, and so she’ll chase after that perfect life if it kills her. Which is how she ends up rushing to move out of her father’s apartment and in with Marinette, Adrien, and a complete stranger: Nino Lahiffe. And in fact, her life does seem perfect — she and Nino are fast friends. They spend a lot of time together and get to know each other really well.

But in the end, fortunate situations will bear unfortunate truths, and she learns things about herself that aren’t quite comfortable. Like I said, though: Alya has always been a go-getter, and she won’t let new feelings deter her from chasing after her perfect life.

This is the single longest DJWifi-centric fic on AO3 (which is a travesty) and it is GLORIOUS. Alya and Nino are both well fleshed-out here, with their own problems and baggage they’re dealing with, but it’s easier together.

---

final girl by @picayunearts:

Marinette has ninety-nine problems, and the superhero trio of Paris counts for a hundred.

[AU where Marinette follows through on giving up her earrings after Stoneheart, but becomes the Guardian to protect her replacement.]

This is just great. Marinette thinks she failed, but the other heroes wouldn’t agree. And eventually, she gains some confidence in herself as well.

---

Over and Over by @stcrsquad:

Marinette Dupain-Cheng has had the worst day possible. She's failed to confess to Adrien (again), made an embarrassment of herself, and got into a fight with Chat Noir.

Adrien Agreste has had the worst day possible. He is tired of being pushed aside by everyone, including his crime-fighting partner Ladybug.

Luckily, fate (and Bunnyx) works in mysterious ways because they wake up again on the same day. A do-over. Except it keeps happening. Can the two figure out what they need to fix to break the loop, or will they be stuck forever?

Look these two will sit down and has things out even if it takes being stuck in a time loop together to make that happen.

---

When Bunnyx Brings A Baby by @funnydoesntlookdruish:

Marinette thought she was up to any challenge. She was Ladybug after all! But when Bunnyx arrives with a baby in her arms asking her to babysit, Marinette quickly learns that Akuma battles are easy compared to taking care of a baby. A baby that seems to know her and for some strange reason... Adrien?

Anentry in the “Lovesquare has to babysit their future children” genre! This is just adorable. Has an ongoing sequel too.

---

The Call of the Running Tide by @nemaliwrites: 

To escape an arranged marriage, Adrien runs away from home, leaving behind all that he has ever known. In search of easy transportation, he sneaks aboard a ship at the docks. Everything seems like it is going according to plan — until he finds out that the ship belongs to the fierce pirate captain Ladybug.

I’m amazed this isn’t more popular. I mean, Lovesquare pirates!AU, with the Miracuclass as Ladybug’s crew? Come on! 

It mostly has Adrien trying to fit in with the crew, find his way, that sort of thing. Though there is a confrontation with his father at the end.

---

metamorphosis by @peachcitt:

“I was thinking about that time you hated me.” “Why?” "I don’t know." “I didn’t.” “I know.”

or

three years after hawkmoth's defeat, marinette is still trying to figure out her version of normal. there's also sleepovers.

This has been a very popular fic so most people probably at least know of it, even if they haven’t read it themselves, but in case someone out there hasn’t: basically, Chat runs off with the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculouses after Hawkmoth’s defeat and never shows up again, worrying Ladybug sick and making her fear that he died. But then a mysterious new Butterfly Holder starts attacking Paris, only he seems a lot nicer than the last one, more of an Anti-villain than anything...

A Major Test of Strength by @nemaliwrites:

There is only one thing in Paris hated as much as the akumas: Ladybug herself. In an effort to help the Savior of Paris, Adrien winds up on the wrong end of an akuma attack — only to find himself stuck reliving the same day.

With enough time, anyone can be a hero, and as he continues dying over and over, he is forced to confront the idea that these loops may be just as much of a blessing as they are a curse.

This is loosely inspired by “All You Need Is Kill”, but no knowledge of that manga is needed to understand the story. There’s a bit of a mystery element going on as Adrien tries to figure out why he keeps dying even when he takes steps to prevent it, how he keeps coming back, and what the deal is with Ladybug, anyway. 

---

Cataclysm by Lucid:

When Chat Noir uses Cataclysm on an akumatized ring that ends up being his amok, Marinette is left alone to solve the mystery of Hawkmoth's motives and bring back her missing partner.

This Sentiadrien fic does something I haven’t seen really explored before: it delves into what might happen if Adrien had to be recreated after having been destroyed, and the problems that might arise from that attempt. I love when we get to see Adrien’s perspective especially.

---

in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien's heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean."

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you're the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing. 

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

---

Shelltering Others by @rosie-b:

When Ladybug wakes Nino up in the middle of the night to scold him for revealing his identity, he thinks his career as a Miraculous holder is over. But instead, Ladybug gives him the opportunity to prove himself by becoming Chat Noir's confidant and learning his secret identity through a scavenger hunt of sorts. Will Nino pass Ladybug and Chat Noir's test, or will he fail to put the pieces together in time?

Quick disclaimer here: the first chapter looks kinda salty towards Nino, with Ladybug laying into him for revealing his and Alya’s secret identities to Adrien and Marinette. She’s mostly just trying to scare him into taking them seriously, though, since she herself has just proposed that Nino become Chat’s secret-keeper, and he can’t afford to be lackadaisical with that identity. I highly recommend getting through at least chapter 2 of the fic when giving it a shot, because this had some great character development and introspection for Nino, on Chat Noir, Adrien, Ladybug, and himself. 

---

run boy run by tinuviel_tinuviel

Nino was sprawled on the floor of his room with Alya when his phone chimed, in the quiet of a premature autumnal sunset. It was one of those lazy evenings that had become rare lately. Contrary to popular belief, he and Alya could get studying done when in the same room, and he was elbows-deep in late assignments, which meant his phone was on Do Not Disturb, which meant the notification could only have come from one person.

ADRIEN 🐈: cmoe ove rnow ADRIEN 🐈: like riggt now ADRIEN 🐈: plag NINO: that is literally incomprehensible NINO: wait is that you plagg ADRIEN 🐈: mov faster

So this is a “Adrien finds out that his father is Hawkmoth and consults with Nino about what to do” fic, with Nino throwing Hawkmoth off Adrien’s track, though inadvertently at his own expense. Love Nino’s perspective here, and I always enjoy a good Hawkmoth-takedown fic!

---

Restorative Justice by @kasienda:

Chloé has never been a fan of Ms. Bustier’s community building activities. In fact, she detests them. She doesn’t want to learn about the drab boring lives of her peers. And she absolutely can’t stand it when their confessions make her feel things. Feelings that she doesn’t even have names for. But when Adrien unknowingly shares his struggles with his double life, Chloé vows she will do anything to get Ladybug to set things right. Even if it means pissing off the heroine. Chloé was already mad at her anyway.

I ADORE people talking out about what hurt them, with everyone growing to understand each other, and focusing on making recompense rather than just punishment, so this was fantastic. This isn’t all about Chloe either, Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and Nino all get to hash things out with each other as well in a group session, and it’s just really, really nice to read.

---

48 Hours To Make You Love Me by @mysticraven20:

“When did you stop?”

“Stop what, M’Lady?”

“Stop loving me?”

When two heroes miss the minibus for their winter get away with the gang they have no other choice but to make their way to the resort by themselves.

After avoiding their feelings for years, a freak snow storm makes them reconsider more than just whether to carry on driving.

Luckily, they find a quaint little bed and breakfast where suddenly they’re thrown into a situation where their feelings can no longer be held back; but, is it too late?

The interference of an elderly couple after an eavesdropping accident helps both Adrien and Marinette come to terms with their feelings and their actions.

Through movies, hot chocolates and snuggling to keep warm, Marinette wonders if it’s possible to make Adrien love her again, and more so can she do it by the time they need to leave their little sanctuary?

This just has a lot of adorable Adrienette shenanigans, with a fun time travel twist that had me inwardly squealing XD. If you want some Lovesquare fluff, this is a good one.

---

team is a four letter word by @ladyofthenoodle:

Alya didn’t want to come between Ladybug and Chat Noir. But she didn’t want to stop being Rena Rouge either. And if Chat Noir didn’t want to talk to her, then she’d need to find a different way to prove all three of them could be a team.

Her plan unintentionally brings a few secrets to light, which leads to even more secrets coming to light, which leads to... well, Alya is sure it'll all work out eventually.

This is a season 4 fic, with a heavy emphasis on repairing the relationships that were damaged, or could have been damaged, during that season. I love how everyone gets to really feel and react, be hurt and then gain understanding, with a happy ending to cap it off!

One-shots:

hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette's father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together. 

------

Is it cool that you’re in my head? by @bring-the-storm: 

Alya stared at the picture plastered across the homepage of every single tabloid and news site, whispering every curse she could think of under her breath. SHOCKING SECRET ROMANCE BETWEEN LADYBLOGGER AND PARISIAN SUPERVILLAIN REVEALED!!! the headline announced, casually shouting the words she had been dreading for all of Paris to read.

--- Alya had always assumed that someday Paris would discover that she had secretly been kissing their most wanted vigilante, but she had never thought it would happen so soon. As the domino effects of her relationship with Ladybug go spiraling through her life, Alya turns her sights towards the one responsible: the elusive superhero Hawkmoth.

AKA Someone outs Alya and her girlfriend so she retaliates by deciding to take down Hawkmoth

I recommend this to anyone who either A. Loves Alya and wants to see more of her in a starring role, or B., wants to see an AU where Parisians could feasibly believe that Hawkmoth is the good guy, and that Ladybug and Chat Noir are, if not villains, at least reckless. 

----

We’re breaking free (there’s not a star in heaven we can’t reach) by @pauliestorylover:

Wing binding was a symbol of prestige in high society, but Adrien would much rather be born a pauper than be forced to bind his wings for another day. Becoming Chat Noir might be the chance he had been waiting for to break free and gain a taste of the heavens.

Meanwhile, Nino and Marinette were quickly learning the joys of the pastime called ‘hating rich old white men who moonlighted as supervillains’.

Excellent Wingfic here! It’s got some excellent worldbuilding in it. I especially like how it’s customary to exchange feathers with people you’re close to, and put them in particular places on your wings to symbolize what they mean to you, whether they’re friends, family, or lovers. That particular piece of lore is used to great effect in the story.

---

How Could I Not? by SorryJustAnotherPerson

In fairy tale books, Princesses were saved by nights from ferocious dragons. Those books were not their story, but Rose was happy to flip over a new page with her Juleka every single day.

Many years ago, she was put to this tower by her parents and her kingdom, along with a fire breathing dragon, so she could find her prince charming one day. How foolish for them to not calculate her falling in love with the dragon. I mean seriously.

How could she not?

I love fairy tale type stories, especially fractured fairy tales. And Juleka being a dragon is awesome. This is just a fun and adorable story.

---

Once Upon A Time by kao_rei:

"Humans fear wolves. I mean, we're horrible, sickening creatures, aren't we?" Adrien laughed.

"I don't think so," Marinette muttered. "Well, not anymore when I met you."

Marinette's days are all the same—she puts on her red cape, makes deliveries for her parents' bakery, and goes home to rest before another busy day. Adrien is a wolf-boy who watches her from afar, awaiting the day they finally meet to change their stories.

While falling in love may bring about some challenges, they're willing to fight through them together because they'd never settle for a "the end". They want a "happily ever after", too.

(In which Marinette is Little Red Riding Hood, Adrien is the Wolf, and they fall in love somewhere between deliveries, flower fields, and shiny red apples).

Did I mention I love fairy tale stories? Because I do.

---

(pockets full of) stones by felledstar:

Even though he wants to be “normal” and go to a “normal school” and have friends just like everyone else, Adrien’s discovered that he’s… not very good at it. It isn’t that he’s a superhero in his nonexistent spare time, or that he’s got a job modelling for his father, or that he’s got so many activities that it takes a whole other person to keep track of his schedule. It’s that… he’s always tripping over things that everyone else seems to know that he… just doesn’t know.

First day of school and we already have two lovebirds.

But there are some things that he does know, no matter what anyone else—Nino, Plagg, the entire population of Paris—thinks.

How he feels is one.

Whatever. She’s just a friend. A friend.

He loves Ladybug. Marinette is his friend.

Why doesn’t anyone believe him?

This is an aroace!Adrien story, that digs into the effects of amatonormativity on people. Especially with how the class all assumes that Adrien would be romantically interested in Marinette, and tries to matchmake him and Marinette in order to make both of them happy, much to his frustration. Based on what the class did in Guiltrip, I could see this happening. They love and care about their classmates and want to help them as much as they can, but that doesn’t mean they always know how best to do that.

---

Lady... bird? by @graaythekwami:

“Marinette!” Tikki called, flying towards the small room of water. “Marinette there’s an akuma– we need to transform!”

The parrot’s head popped up, recognizing these words. They were always said when the report came on TV– a routine he had come to know well. Akuma report, we need to transform, and finally–

“Tikki!” The bird cawed happily. “Spots on!”

This story is just hilarious. Tikki ain’t happy afterwards XD

---

I Won’t Let You by @generalluxun

After Gabriel's defeat, two individuals not party to the celebration run into each other, and find each other.

The summary doesn’t give much of an idea of what the fic’s about. Post-Hawkmoth Defeat, Chloe and Felix run into each other at the celebration of Gabriel’s downfall, and vent about their problems. Neither of them think the other one has it too bad - Chloe’s worried about disappearing, since her worth was entirely tied to her family’s prestige and wealth, and being seen as friends to a terrorist is gonna cripple both of those, while Felix is on edge about Ladybug having the Peacock Miraculous, since she has the ability to kill him at a moment’s notice (yes this is a Sentifelix fic). 

They both make each other understand the turmoil the other is going through in extremely visceral ways, showing the other what it’s like to be them, in the circumstances they’re in. I don’t want to spoil what, exactly, they do, but needless to say, it’s worth a read.

---

don’t you worry child by kopycat_101

Marc and Nathaniel have a good life, married and living together in a cottage in the woods. But they consider having children at some point.

Marc in particular really wants to start a family with his husband. He knows the fey are real, so he goes searching in the woods to find one to strike a deal.

He may get a bit more than he bargained for in the process.

This is based on a tumblr post that’s been going around, which I think a lot of people will recognize as they continue going through the story. That post is credited at the end of the fic, so as not to spoil the plot.

---

Chat Walker’s Trial by @pearl484-blog

Instead of Catwalker showing up to serve as her new Chat Noir, Ladybug is stunned to find that Chat Noir has returned to her, having "improved" himself by repressing his emotions, memories, and willfulness. Deciding that this will not stand, she organizes her teammates to convince Chat Noir that giving those traits up and becoming the perfect partner was not the right move, but how can she argue against perfection?

Adrien Augreste 2022 entry for the day 23-24 prompt: Swap

This is a really intriguing fic. Instead of becoming Cat Walker in Kuro Neko, Adrien instead runs across a mage who helpfully provides some spells to make him into the “perfect” partner for Ladybug, magically suppressing his emotions and urge to rebel, as well as his memories of being Chat Noir, in order to make sure he doesn’t love her anymore. Ladybug, naturally, is distraught about this, but since Chat did all of this of his own free will, she needs to actually persuade him it was a bad move, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. It’s exquisitely painful at times with the amount of self-hatred Chat has for his previous self, and how the Miracuteam is divided on how bad these changes actually are, since he does seem more focused now - though the holdouts are a lot less on board when they think of someone who’s closer to them going through this process.

---

disconnected by @just-an-ordinary-fan

Lady Wifi believes she might be the only one who does not want to obey Hawkmoth's orders.

When she sees another akuma hesitate in the battle, she finds she might not be entirely alone.

I actually wrote my own fic, Nullius in Verba, based off of this one. It’s short but has an intriguing premise, with all the akumas being transported to this warehouse after the fight’s over, having been basically forced to do Hawkmoth’s bidding. The akumas also don’t seem to remember who they were before, or even that they WERE ordinary people before, which is an interesting twist.

---

Shadow of the Chat by @pearl484-blog

Chat Noir discovers that he has a living Shadow. Unfortunately for him, it is not fond of Ladybug.

Inspired by the prompt: 5 times Character A and B thought they didn’t have anything in common and 1 time they realized how similar they are.

I wrote a fic based on this one and @wackus-bonkus-maximus fic “One Does Not Love Breathing”, basically importing Shadow into odnlb in order to help take down Monarch. It’s called “One Does Not Love Shadows”, btw.

Anyway, I love how this one-shot uses some of Carl Jung’s ideas about everyone having “shadows”; parts of ourselves that we consciously reject or suppress, and using that to get Chat some help. If you’ve ever played a Persona game, this will be familiar to you, as those games are based off of Jung’s ideas as well.

---

Day 7: Book by @andromeda612

During one of his works, Marc comes across a rather interesting book.

MarcNath AU fic here! Basically Marc is a super powerful warlock, and is brought in to help with the case of a lying witch who apparently caused a lot of problems for people, using her magic to help fool everyone. She’s actually dead by the time the story starts, and everyone’s trying to go back through and figure out what she’s done and why memories surrounding her seem to be foggy. Meanwhile there’s a book she left behind which appears to be sentient, and which Marc’s taken a liking too...

---

Find the Sentimonster by @taketwoinink:

Nino has a lot of conspiracies. He watched one too many mystery movies and now fancies himself a detective. It's not often that he gets the entire class together for an interrogation, but it's never fun. Chloe makes everyone's life miserable and Marinette and Lila never get along.

And this time? Secret sentimonsters in their class? The fate of Paris hanging in the balance?

Mylene doesn't need this stress in her life.

This is based off of an episode of Glitch Techs, so if you’ve seen the show, it might be familiar. I just really enjoyed watching the class trying to puzzle out who the sentimonster spy might be, with all the wild accusations and theories being hurled around, especially knowing the actual truth.

Come Take My Hand by @carelisswriting:

Luka heard his soulmate for the first time when he was ten. All he knows about her is that she likes fencing. It's just a coincidence that Kagami likes fencing, right?

(Lukagami Soulmate AU, written for the Miraculous Ladybug Secret Santa Exchange!)

I’m a sucker for soulmate fics, and this had an interesting take on it, with your soulmate able to hear you thinking only about the thing you’re most passionate about. Loved Kagami’s way of showing Luka she’s his soulmate especially!

---

When Feelings Are Too Big For Words by ClockworkCaptain:

When Luka takes a gig playing for a drag show he's falls hard and fast for the drag queen Buttercup who uses her performances to work through her own emotions. Meanwhile Adrien's been using drag to work through his own emotions and thinks maybe Luka coming back into his life and showing interest might mean a second chance.

Made for @mlsecretsanta 2022

Published on New Year’s Eve, this just barely makes it to the deadline for this list. I’m glad I don’t need to wait a year to talk about it though! One of the issues I tend to have with Luka shipfics, and with Lukadrien especially (though I think Lukanette actually has this problem worse) is how Luka tends to disappear within the fic and the pairing, feeling more like “The Love Interest” than his own person. Not so here! While most of the intrigue surrounds Adrien, I still got the sense of Luka being his own person, not just existing in the fic for Adrien.

 I adored Adrien getting to display an aspect of himself through persona and performance - that does align well with how he approaches Chat Noir -  and overall I just had a lot of fun with this fic!

[napakmahal]

A very random sad blurb. Hiro x reader. It’s sad but I’m actually kinda happy with how it turned out. Like I’m very okay with how I wrote this. Enjoy (please) pookies.

Every brochure and website you read about dealing with grieve says that it comes in waves or episodes. That it will wax and wane. In good there is bad and in bad there is good, there is no in between. There is no normal.

Grief is also really weird. You could be having a relatively normal day and see one thing that reminds you of what you’ve grieved and all of a sudden you feel like shit for the rest of the day.

In Hiro’s case, that was seeing the San Fransokyo ninjas poster as they were playing in their home stadium for the first time that season. Tadashi’s loved baseball and that was his team.

Up until that point Hiro had been having a semi-normal month. As normal as you can get being a teen superhero. But that stupid fucking poster came into his life like a truck and ruined it.

When you walked upstairs to visit him he was laying in the opposite direction on his bed. With his head on the foot of the bed and his legs smushing into his pillow. He was staring at the room divider that had been closed for the past few months that he didn’t dare open and was very defensive over people touching. Even his aunt.

“Hey,” your voice was soft and borderline coddle-ish. “Are you okay? You haven’t been answering my calls.”

Hiro’s a very good texter when he wants to be and he was always a good texter with you. Something was wrong.

Obviously lying and not bothering to convince you otherwise he just said, “I’m fine. Thanks though.”

You weren’t sure what you hated more. When he got angry about his grief or depressed. For the longest time if he’d go through one of those waves of missing his brother he’d be unnecessarily angry. Everyone was wrong and everything anybody did pissed him off. A grenade ready to blow at any moment. Your relationship really struggled during those times and he really was hard to deal with. But there were times like this. Where he could lay in the same position for days on end paralyzed by grief.

“Hiro.” You said in a warning tone. If he wasn’t fine why couldn’t he just say that? If he just wanted to be left alone he could say that instead. “You’re lying to me.”

He sighed, “I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are!” Your voice was raising. “We’ve talked about this like—a million times. You have to tell me what you’re feeling. This isn’t healthy.”

“As you constantly remind me.” His voice was dripping with attitude and tipping on anger.

You scoffed not exactly enjoying his tone. “Well maybe I wouldn’t have to remind you if you would just do it!”

“Oh my fucking god, y/n! I don’t need parenting, leave me alone!” He was shouting know, no longer depressed but angry.

You remember what your relationship with Hiro was like before Tadashi died. Still a little rocky because of his horrible and illegal not fighting habit but a million times better.

You raised your voice without really shouting. “Is that what you want? To be left alone?”

“Yes! I was want you out!”

You raised your arms and let them make a slap sound against your thighs. “Why couldn’t you just say that?”

“Because you make it hard.” He wasn’t yelling anymore but said it more with a whine and he dug his face into his hands.

You responded. “Hiro I really don’t think I do. I just want you to tell me what you want. ‘I’m fine’ is such a lazy fucking lie and I really wish you’d stop saying it.”

Hiro took a deep breath with his head in his hands before looking back up at you. He was crying of either sadness or frustration and anger. Maybe it was all of them. “You know what I want? I want my brother back, that’s what. I don’t want to feel this way and I want my life back. And I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I wish I’d just killed Callaghan when I had the chance. I want my aunt and my friends to stop pretending Tadashi never existed and I want you to stop acting like my therapist and just be there like a normal person. That’s what I want.”

You were speechless for a bit. What he said was revealing, raw, and a little hurtful. But it was real. It was the truth. How could you be upset? You begged him to tell you the truth, he did.

You paused for a bit but asked, “Do normal people give hugs?”

He stopped and sat up properly before gently nodding his head. You rushed over to him and practically tackled him in your arms and you felt him hug you back equally as hard.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered so quietly on he could hear it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He said nothing and just embraced you, tears falling freely now. Very rarely did Hiro just cry about how he was feeling but when it rained it poured. This was no exception.

When he did speak he just said, “I need you. Not the therapist you that uses words like trauma-response. I need you. I want you here with me.”

You rapidly nodded still hugging him so tight as if you let him go he’d vanish into thin air. He needed you. He wanted you. So you promised him with total sincerity, “I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

Tadashi’s gone. No science or technology could do anything about that. If it could Hiro would have tried it already. You couldn’t do anything about that. But what you can do if just be there when he inevitably falls and succumbs to the grief of the tragic and untimely death of the person who practically raised him. All Hiro can ask you to do is be there, and although the can’t fully comprehend the afterlife he knows that’s all Tadashi wants too.

[nattysstargirl]

Alone, again.

Mafia!Wanda Maximoff X Reader angst

Brief Mafia!Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Short blurb

Age gap (undisclosed)

I thought the way Pietro treated me was bad, but it was nothing compared to what his sister has done. From him I expect nothing less than selfishness and disloyalty, but her? No. It has been a week since we slept together for the second time and I awoke in her room alone again. I was disappointed and wished that she would have woken me to say goodbye, but I didn’t for a second doubt that we would talk later in the day.

The rose-tinted glasses I have worn since I was old enough to think Wanda Maximoff was a mixture of superhero and goddess, have left me vulnerable to the fact that she is as capable as her brother of using and discarding women. At least Pietro never pretended to be anything different. He told me explicitly that he didn’t love me right before we had sex.

Wanda sucked me in. She gave me a taste of what I have craved for so long. I felt safe with her, protected. My eyes roll every time I think of the warmth I felt when she called me baby or my darlin’. How naive and stupid was I that I thought that meant she cared at all for me? Wherever she has been sleeping this week, she has probably been whispering the same sweet words into another woman’s ear.

My cheeks redden with the humiliation I can’t shake. The feeling that I am pathetic. All I am worth is a political marriage. My mother can’t see me past her self-obsession and my father, he sees me as a pawn in his miniature game of thrones. My half-brother fucking kidnapped me, for goodness sake. The fact remains that the only person who I have ever truly felt loved by is Bucky and he has been lying to me too.

He spends more time with Sam than he does with me now anyway and I feel our special bond slipping away. I’m glad I have Natasha, but our friendship is still new. We bond over work dramas, the gym members who hit on us, and all the normal bullshit. We hang out, but she doesn’t know all the inner workings of my complicated life. The past week I have been a zombie.

I don’t want to speak with anyone. I have stayed at the Maximoff house because being near my parents would only make me more miserable, but I haven’t seen Wanda. I snuck into her room the first night in the wee hours of the morning and she wasn’t there. Her bed was still as I had made it that morning. The second day I text her.

Y/N: Hey? Is everything ok?

But I didn't get a response. That was when I knew that she was avoiding me. There was no alarm in the rest of the family that she was missing or out of touch. It was just me she avoided. Bucky tried to comfort me. He called his cousin all sorts of names and was on my side. But he kept pushing me back towards Pietro. His solution to my heartbreak was for me to throw myself into my sham marriage.

“You’re only saying that because it’s what the Famiglia wants!” I screamed at him. “When did you stop giving a shit about me!”

The guilt on his face told me I was right. He was working toward an agenda, not caring about his oldest friend. Interestingly, Piet has been nice this week. His cheerfulness has been a reprieve from all the angst. He took me out for brunch on the third day and although it was nice, his hand on my lower back as we walked through the cafe felt wrong. He is the only one who seems to get how shit it is to have your life at total mercy to what the Famiglia dictates.

We have bonded over our mutual hatred of the control being exerted over us. Now, it’s six nights since I last saw Wanda and I’ve sent several texts which have all received no response. Miserable, I sneak into her room again. I can’t sleep and pathetically, I think maybe if she still isn’t there, I could just sleep in her bed.

Maybe her scent on her pillows will help me drift off. I pad barefoot down the hallway wearing one of Bucky’s massive t-shirts and slip into Wanda’s room. I pause, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dark room before tip-toeing toward the bed. A dark form lies entangled in the blankets. She is home. She’s here and she didn’t reply to a single text or check I am ok. I want to throw things at her sleeping body. Wake her up with my hurt screams.

But instead, I walk around to the other side of the bed and slip under the covers. I crawl over to her and turn around so my back is to her. I rest my head gently on the bicep of her outstretched arm and she instinctively pulls me in close, curling her body around mine. I loathe how good it feels. My eyes fill with tears and my heart with self-hatred.

“Y/N,” Wanda groans, sleepy and exasperated, a few moments later.

“I hate you,” I reply, my voice thick as I battle the tears threatening to fall.

She is silent for a moment and then sighs. “I know, baby. I hate myself too. Go to sleep.”

And I do. In her arms, I slip into the easiest sleep I have had all week. I know that the morning will bring with it more heartache. She will push me away again. But for now, I feel safe and exactly where I’m meant to be. I wake up before Wanda. She is still wrapped around me, and every fiber of my being cries out for me to burrow deeper into her arms and go back to sleep. Thankfully, I have a tiny bit of self-preservation left, and instead, I gently peel her off me and creep back to my own bed. Sliding into the cold sheets feels like salt in the wounds of the past week, but I do it because I can’t bear the thought of waking alone in her bed again.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

The Eyes Have It: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Summary: Hotch is stepping down, giving Derek the opportunity to rise in his place. Derek wants to fight for you but is forced to deal with the case at hand. You, on the other hand, are forced to deal with the ugly side of prison.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee..." - Matthew 5:29

Word of Derek's new position quickly spread through the office like wildfire. Strauss came down as soon as she could to talk to Derek about the position in the bullpen instead of in some office. Everyone can see them but they pretend not to eavesdrop even though all eyes are on Strauss, Hotch, and Derek. 

"Did anyone explain why Hotch is stepping down?" Penelope asks.

"All Morgan said this morning is that it's happening, and it's business as usual."

"So, we're just supposed to move forward without any discussion?" Emily asks.

"After Foyet, I think we'd have to be ready for anything."

"I heard he wanted it to be Y/N," Penelope says to the small group. "You know, if she were still here."

"Any word on her case?" JJ asks.

"I've tried looking into it but my home computer can only get me so far. Without the case files or access to what I normally have, it's tough."

"I feel so bad for him," Emily sighs.

JJ and Penelope look to where Emily is and see Spencer in the breakroom with his phone to his ear. He looks distressed which can only mean he is talking to you. The girls wish they could make him feel better but they don't know how. Like Penelope said, they can only get so far without their resources.

"The team can go on without me. I should be with you," Spencer sighs. "I want to see you even if it's only for ten minutes and through a glass wall."

This is so hard on you. You're trying so hard not to break down right now. You want nothing more than to see him but you can't let him see you like this. Broken down. Terrified. Sleep deprived. Every time he'd look at you, that's all you'd see. You move the phone away from your mouth and take two deep breaths to calm yourself down.

"They're not allowing visitors right now," you lie, "unless it's from lawyers. Hotch kind of weaseled his way in here."

"I just miss you," he sighs sadly.

You lean your head on the wall and look at the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling.

"I miss you, too. Prison isn't so bad. I made a friend with my bunkmate, and the girls are pretty mellow."

"That's good."

"Y/N! Time's up!" a guard announces.

"I gotta go. They only let me have ten minutes. Please keep doing what you're doing. Help the team. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," he nods.

"I love you,"

"I love you."

You quickly hang up the phone before he can hear your sobs. You look over at the guard who is walking your way and allow your tears to fall. You're so overwhelmed here. You feel like you're going to drown just by breathing. Everything everywhere all at once is bombarding you, and you feel like you're going to snap at any moment. You lied because you didn't want him to worry. If he does, he might not do his job right and you can't do that to people who need him.

"Spencer," Spencer looks at JJ who approaches him carefully, "we're all needed in the briefing room. How is she doing?"

"About as good as you'd expect."

Spencer follows JJ to the briefing room where everyone else already is. Your chair still sits empty but Spencer tries to ignore it. JJ puts some pictures on the board and begins the briefing session.

"This is Megan Chertow and her friend Bina Cukarto who are both seventeen, and they were found two nights ago in a parking garage. Both their carotids were severed." She goes to another picture. "This is John O'Heron, sixty-one. He was found dead in a wooded area four days ago with blunt force trauma to the head."

"Those are different MOs and completely different victimology. How are the cases linked?"

"All their eyes have been removed."

"He's an enucleator."

"There's a name for this?" JJ asks Spencer.

"It's a rare subset of criminal behavior, but there have been case studies of assault enucleators. The overwhelming majority of them suffer from diagnosed mental disorders, and they're usually male, lack social skills, and their kills are disorganized and sloppy. The typical enucleator gouges the eyes out, but he doesn't normally take them with him."

"Did this guy take the eyes with him?"

"Yes. We need to figure out why," Derek says.

"There are noticeable shifts from the first to the second murder. He goes from killing in seclusion to a public place, and he escalates from one victim to two."

"What concerns me most is there are less than forty-eight hours between the murders. That's why I chose this case," Derek says, "and from what we know about enucleators, they're almost always multiple repeat offenders which means he's going to need to kill again soon. Alright. Let's meet on the plane in thirty."

The team gathers what they need and meets on the plane in less than that. Once they're in the air, they go over the facts of the case and speculate some more.

"The colors of all the victims' eyes are different so that probably doesn't factor into victimology. It's more likely what he sees in the eyes. Case studies show that most enucleators suffer from delusions. They hear voices and see things in people's eyes, usually something evil. They're driven to enucleate to destroy the devil."

"It points to someone who may have been institutionalized and recently released," Hotch adds.

"I'll have Garcia start looking," JJ says.

"What makes these attacks so different?" Derek asks the group.

"With victim one, there were multiple blunt force strikes to the head which is a more personal kill. He disposed of the body as a forensic countermeasure, maybe," Emily shrugs. "The next murder seemed less personal and more opportunistic."

"I think we need to look at why the first victim was bludgeoned and dumped."

"Perhaps the unsub knew him."

"Prentiss, I want you to go to the disposal site and see if you can figure out why he was dumped there. Rossi, you and I are gonna go to last night's crime scene--"

"Actually, uh, the girls' families asked to speak to our team leader," JJ cuts him off.

All eyes are on Derek and Hotch. Derek can barely look at Hotch since he feels so bad for doing his job when everyone knows Hotch is the team leader.

"Alright," Derek sighs. "Okay, in that case, Rossi can handle the crime scene solo. JJ, you're with me. Hotch and Reid, I want you to get into John's life and see if anything at all points to a personal motive."

Once the plane lands, everyone goes their separate ways. Hotch and Spencer go straight to the police station to meet with the head detective on the case.

"Hi. Phil Brantley. I appreciate you coming," he says and shakes Hotch's hand.

"Agent Hotchner. This is Dr. Reid. You'll meet the rest of the team later."

"Okay, here's where the first body was found, just outside of town." Phil uses the map he's pinned up to show them. "Last night's murders were here, and that's about twenty-two miles apart."

"That's unusual. Serial Killers usually have a smaller kill zone." Spencer's phone rings and he eagerly looks at the screen. He's a bit disappointed it's not you but he answers it. "It's our technical analyst. Hey, Garcia, you're on speakerphone."

"So, I looked up recently released mental health patients who have a history of eye gouging, eye assault, and other gross things you can do to eyes and sockets. There's no bingo for Okie City residents."

"Any other recent attacks involving assault on eyes?" Hotch asks.

"There's one nine months ago. He's not your guy because he's in jail."

"We'll call you later."

"10-4, breaker breaker," Penelope hangs up.

"Do you think he's fresh out of an asylum?" Phil asks.

"Either that or he's been held somewhere and he's now free."

"We've seen eye assault before with bar brawls, rage, and domestic abuse cases. Nothing like this, though. What the hell's he doing with the eyes?"

"He could be collecting them as a trophy of some sort."

"They wouldn't be trophies for long. Eyes are eighty percent vitreous humor, which is essentially water. After a few hours, they begin to get cloudy and wilt," Spencer explains.

"Any other theories?"

"There have been cases where after enucleation, mental patients have consumed the eyeballs."

"Are you kidding me?"

"I'm afraid not."

Rossi and Emily come back from the crime scene and the disposal site respectively. They are introduced to Phil as the other two men continue the conversation. Phil goes off to gather some intel on the three victims.

"John's friends say he has a history of drunken behavior, but they don't know anybody with a grudge against him," Hotch informs. "He was last seen leaving a bar. The bartender on duty said he left without incident. Where did he go after that?"

"I checked out the disposal site where John's body was dumped. It's a remote farm road. The unsub didn't just stumble on it, he knows it."

"We need a list of people who work or live near the area."

"I have a bad feeling about this guy," Rossi sighs.

"Why is that?"

"He chose that parking garage. He was patient. He hid and waited for the right victims and the right time and place. He blitzed them. It was all strategic. That sounds way too organized for a typical enucleator. Add to that his lack of a cooling-off period between kills, it's not gonna be easy to get ahead of him."

Phil comes back after hanging up the phone on someone.

"I just got off the phone with the ME. She says there's something we should see."

"Reid, take Prentiss with you," Hotch says. "You can do that, right?"

"Yes."

Spencer and Emily slowly make their way over to the ME's office which isn't far from the police station. She has one of the girls' bodies on her table with pictures of the other victims in files next to her. When Emily and Spencer get there, she immediately explains what she found.

"The eyeball is held in the socket by six different muscles, fatty tissue, and the optic nerves." She grabs the files and shows the two agents the pictures of John's crime scene. "These are pictures of John's eye sockets. See the optic nerves protruding?"

"Trauma. They were ripped out."

"Yeah, maybe with fingers. Now compare this to my body on the table." All three of them examine the body on her table. "Smooth inside, no bruising, and no sign of trauma. The optic nerves retracted into the muscle, and they have a clean edge. These were cut out with a sharp-edged tool. He managed to avoid cutting the sockets or the eyelids. This was precise work."

"The kind of work only a doctor could do?"

"I don't know. All I'm saying is that with both of these girls, it was a clean excision."

"So, he was crude with the first victim and surgical with the others. The amount of effort he's going through to remove the eyes now, he wouldn't destroy them. He's keeping them."

Spencer wants to give this case his all but you're in the back of his mind just begging for attention. You told Spencer to focus on the cases Derek and Hotch give to him but you're hanging on by a thread. Of course, you want your team to focus on you but what kind of person would you be if you took them away from people who actually need them?

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[pomegranate]

Ok, listen i love BJ just fine, he is certainly THE character of all time, but sometimes i struggle, i cannot move past the not one but two times he told Hawkeye and Margaret that their, problems, their suffering doesn't matter as much, because they are not married and haven't procreated (he is such an infuriating WASP sometimes), i think about those times and get mad at him all over again (mostly im mad because this 70's show didn't provide satisfying for me resolution to those moments and BJ got to get away with non-apologies, which is probably irrational on my part)

I get where you’re coming from, anon! He’s callously cruel in “Period of Adjustment” and “Wheelers & Dealers” when he lashes out at both Hawkeye and Margaret because of his own turmoil. And while I wish we’d had more time in the former episode for a proper resolution between BJ and Hawkeye (including a sober apology), the limitations of television at that time - like you say, with it being the 70s/80s pretending to be the 50s - means we get what we get & everything else must be dealt with through fanfic. I actually do think Margaret’s dressing down of BJ in W&D is immensely satisfying and while he doesn’t actually say the words “I’m sorry” at the end of that episode, he does show remorse and a willingness to eat his own humble pie - it’s just done in that typical sitcommy way.

The thing about BJ and his moments of cruelty is that they’re meant to be exceptional and unusual, but because the tone of the show has shifted by the later seasons, we don’t always get as satisfying a resolution as we’d like. And I think a big part of it is that BJ, who is by all accounts a kind and compassionate man when he arrives in Korea, is an example of what happens when good men are dragged into an immoral and unjust situation. It is unfair that he’s forced to miss the first two years of his daughter’s life and it’s understandable that he’s hurting about it. And it’s not fair that he takes it out on his closest friends, but that’s the ugly reality of what war can do to a person - if you’re constantly surrounded by senseless cruelty, you might find yourself emulating that senseless cruelty in ways you never thought you could. So as the series progresses, we see more examples of BJ losing his grip on the person he was before the war and having to come to terms with the fact that he’s changed. Even in GFA, up until the very end, he doesn’t want to admit that he’s never going to be the same. BJ is a man who appears to be afraid of losing his identity (father, husband, surgeon) so every time something happens that shakes his sense of self, we see him having a very hard time. His ability to be compassionate and caring seems to falter the most when this happens but again, because it’s a sitcom*, we’re meant to assume everything goes back to normal at the end of the episode.

I think part of why I like BJ so much is because of the flaws we see exposed during the later seasons - I like that he’s occasionally mean and selfish and unfair because it makes sense for what he’s been through. It’s what war can do to a man. (It can also make a man crack up - and I could write another essay on why people seem to ignore how the trauma of what happened with Hawkeye in GFA impacted those closest to him but that’s a post for another day).

WHOOPS sorry for the essay anon, I just love talking about this guy so thank you for giving me an opportunity to do so 😊

*I know calling it a “sitcom” is an oversimplification but it was technically part of that genre at the time, despite us probably classifying it as something else nowadays

[literali1110]

Rookie 6x07 Thoughts

A few general thoughts:

This entire Bailey Nolan baby storyline is so cringy, also why is Celina talking to Nolan about this?

I don't love podcam eps, I feel as though you don't always get as much emotion from the characters. Plus all of these eps seem the same - missing person, helicopter, personal conversation over the radios...

"your sister" - why can't they name her??

Celina: I do not like the way she (and Nolan) talked about Lucy this episode. I didn't care for Celina before but this made me really not like her, it seems like she's just using Lucy for a place to live. I feel like Lucy should just live alone at this point.

The last scene with Lucy and Tamara was super sweet! Is this the last of Tamara though?

Tim/Lucy/Chenford Thoughts:

I can't believe they finally gave us a betting pool only to make it into a breakup pool - talking about cheating, secret kid - it seriously feels like they read everything we write and then use it to laugh at us

I liked how Lucy was dealing with things this episode for the most part: I liked that she walked away from Tim and that she gave him a piece of her mind at the end of the episode. And realized she can't help him if he doesn't want it/let her.

I enjoyed the ride along with Grey, I liked that he checked in about detective exam too

Loved her little "I should decide what I deserve" monologue, I hope she gets to say it all to Tim eventually

Blair was blunt with Tim but ultimately I think she got through to him, he was trying to cover it up but he seemed emotional. I just wish he was going through this process with a non-potential villain.

Didn't love that he still insists he was her boss not her friend, maybe this is also to protect her?

The hallway conversation: I feel like Tim was acting even worse here to Lucy in comparison to the breakup - first, trying to pretend everything is normal, and then doubling down on the breakup and saying he can't be what she needs (rude!). Good for her for responding how she did.

I think it highlighted even more how much work Tim needs to do on himself before we can even think about them moving forward. And in addition - he's going to need to make it up to Lucy. I think he was still so wrapped up in himself this episode he hasn't totally realized how much he her hurt her too. The conversation probably helped him realize he needed more help.

I'm interested in seeing where things go, I could see him apologizing to Lucy in the finale and telling her he's in therapy, as a first step - but her still not taking him back (I would like that).

I liked that he went to get help at the end. When I watched it, the idea of it being a suggestive shot did not cross my mind at all - and I don't think that was what they were going for unless it was meant to be ominous because of the office camera? If something happens between them I would NOT be ok with it!

I do wonder what he meant about it being an emergency - it seemed to allude to her comment earlier about self-harm/suicide but I'm not sure that was what they meant??

[unicorncornflakes]

Wedding Dress - Modern AU! | Chapter 2

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Paring: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader x Aemond Targaryen.

Summary: You have always seemed happy. A perfect life: a good job, a good family… and a good boyfriend. Finally, you are going to marry Jace after three years of dating. Everything seems perfect, but you know it's not.

Everything falters the same night you meet Aemond Targaryen. You are no longer sure of your decisions… let alone about the wedding…

Tags: Alternate Universe – Modern/ Setting Enemies to Friends to Lovers/ Emotional Hurt/ComfortDrama & Romance/ Eventual Smut.

Author´s note: Hi everyone! English is not my first language, sorry for any mistake! All of them are my fault! Pls, enjoy! Feedback, shares and comments are always welcome!

Word Count: 4.3K

Tag-List (If you wanna be tagged, let me know): @tssf-imagines @nika-sophie05

“I wish I was there. I would love it.” You could hear Jace’s voice on the other side of the line. You had the hands-free mode of your phone on while you were in the changing room, taking your clothes off. Finally, you were going to try on the wedding dress you had always dreamed of. A perfect ball gown wedding dress. It looked like straight out of a fairy tale: a slim-cut bodice and full bell-shaped skirt that seemed to float. It was the dress, you were so confident about that.

“The groom can´t see the wedding dress before the weding. It brings bad luck” You laughed, truly enchanted. All your doubts had disappeared upon seeing the dress. Jace was the right guy. This was the perfect decision, and what had happened last weekend was history.

“I won’t ever have bad luck if you are at my side” You could heard how he was smiling while he was telling you those beautiful words. You sighed. That was pure love and devotion. Alara and Daemon were not right, you belonged to Jace… “I have to take the flight, but I will arrive for the dinner. Order what you want. We have to celebrate the new contract”

“So… we sleep together tonight? At your apartment?” You tried to sound excited. The truth is, at the time, you didn't know if you were ready to sleep with Jace and pretend nothing had happened. You were living with your grandmother since she considered that a good lady should not live with her boyfriend before getting married and also for not discussing the subject with her. After all, Jace and you haven't seen each other for a week. It was normal for him to expect you to sleep together.

“Of course” It sounded too formal for your liking. You would have liked that he had told you how much he had missed you and the things he planned to do to you. You wished that he forgot dinner, that he grabbed you in his arms and took you to his bed. His long silver hair falling like a cascade over your chest while his mouth worked wonders on one of your nipples while his other hand captured the remaining breast... his violet eye fixed on youY face, the other one covered by that annoying eye patch that prevented you saw his whole face... ethereal... eternal... “(Y/N), are you there?” Your Boyfriend´s voice woke up you from your fantasies… You were fucked… You would have to think in Jace, not in that stupid guy…

“Y-yes, I was thinking about what to order” You lied. Your eyes were reflected in the mirror in front of you. ‘This is your best that you can say?’ your voice scolded you in your mind.

“Whatever you desire” he smiled again “I have to go. I will see you later. I love you”

“I love you too” the words sounded like a dagger tearing you inside. How would you love him? You had cheated on him with a guy you couldn´t get out of your head. You heard how the phone hanged up and you just wanted to cry. You didn't sound convincing, nor did you sound happy.

“You are so fucking stunning!” Alara Exclaimed in the same moment that you entered in the room, followed by one of the workers of that place. She helped you climb the step where brides were placed on this type of occasion to be admired by the family before buying the dress. You thought that something more ridiculous could not be happening to you.

“That Language” Your grandmother scolded Alara, who was sitting by her side in a terrible pastel pink sofa of that room “You are truly enchanting, honey” Your Grandmother smiled, gazed at you. She looked so proud that she made you think that you were doing the right thing.

“You are so gorgeous, so elegant” Rhaenyra verbalized while a sweet smile was painted in her face. She looked radiant. Her older son was to married a good girl, correct, elegant, polite… She couldn’t have more happiness in her hearts and when you looked at her, your own soul bounced.

“Yes, less is often more” Alicent commented “You are truly elegant”. She was an old friend of Rhaenyra, and even the Step-Gradmother of Jace, but this was the first time that you saw her. You didn’t meet none of that part of the family, but it seemed that they were triying to rebuilt the bonds that were broken with all the wedding subject.

“I think… that I don’t like it… sorry” you sighed, looking down at the floor. Everything was wrong. You only felt sad and guilty about the entire situation, you just wanted to run away when you saw their happy faces.

“What?? No, no, no. You´ve been an incredible pain in the ass about this dress, and now you don’t like it!” Alara was simply upset, you feared that she could exploded before your words. She knew the truth. This wasn’t about the dress. She looked at you, wide opened eyes, pouting her lips. She was about to speak.

“Well, Honey, You are so gorgeous in that dress, but if you don’t like it…” Your Grandmother tried to reduce the tension; she never met Alara on that way before. So, she attempted her best.

“(Y/N), don’t you worry, we have time, you can trying as dresses as you desire” Rhaenyra told you like a mother to her daughter. Actually, she always wanted to have a girl, but it never came. For that reason, she truly appreciated you.

“My daughter Healena had to try a lot of dresses until she found wich she really liked” Alicent commented, in an effort to make you more comfortable about the situation.

“But this was the first option…” You muttered in a lower tone, like a little child. All the present, except Alara, thought that you were simply nervous.

“Well, let’s to change this terrible option for something more… appropriated!” Alara exclaimed, conducting you to the change room to find another option.

'You are going to enter, you are going to say hello like a responsible adult and you are going to say how beautiful the bride is' His mother sent him that message that made Aemond roll his eye in disgust. He was still sitting in the cafe across from the dress shop, drinking coffee and smoking. It was one thing to go pick up his mother and quite another to have to put on a theater about an event that annoyed him rather than excite him.

'No' was all the answer he sent. 'I'll wait for you outside' he sighed and looked up from the phone to see how the waitress smiled at him. He knew that smile well, it was the kind of smile a woman puts on when she wants you to take her to bed. In another time, he would have risen and approached her. That same night he would have been between her legs, but he wasn't able to. He remembered the sweet way you'd looked at him, the shy smile before you turned into his…little slut. The mobile vibrated again and he read the new message from his mother. Aemond rose angrily from his chair, forgetting his coffee and his cigar. He went to the register and paid. He entered the dress shop with a very clear determination: Jace's fiancée was going to remember this moment for the rest of her life.

“I prefer this one much more that the other!” You exclaimed happily in front of the mirror of the changing room. A new trumpet weeding dress was what now you wore. It had a tighter fit through your chest and waist, before flaring out sightly around the knees. This dress showed off your curves, and you couldn’t seem happier. Alara rolled her eyes.

“(Y/N), I know what is the fucking problem with the last dress. It was for Jace. This dress is for that guy, and in the sept is not going to be him, but Jace” She sighed tired. You gazed her, deeply sorry. Maybe, that was true.

“Alara, I have to marry him. You know that…” You started to say.

“It´s okay, just let´s finish this! I know how stubborn you can be” She replied to you, helping you to walk to the other room again.

“I said no” Your Grandmother in the same moment that you stand in front of her again with the new dress. Her face was turned angry, and you knew her well. It was like just when you asked for going on a date with a boy that she didn’t like when you were teenager.

“But I like this one!” You replied crossing your arms against your chest “This is the right one” Even if it wasn’t; now you wanted it. You were making too many sacrifices with this entire situation. You wouldn’t gave up.

“I think that she is beautiful too” Rhaenyra tried to say something positive about the dress, but you can see the discomfort in her eyes. She wasn´t imagining you with a dress like that in her mind.

Your grandmother ignored her “You are not going to walk through the Sept like a whore, (Y/N)” she shouted to you.  So you continued arguing with her. Alicent told something to Rhaenyra and your mother-in-law replied her with a smile, and she just disappearance, while you stilled discussing.

“I´m telling you that this is the dress!” Aemond heard someone hysterical girl screaming about her dress. And he who thought that trying on dresses was boring. He was on the hall of that shop, just waiting for her mother. He smirked. His mother entered in the hall.

“Aemond” she greeted him, approaching him “I think that his is not a good moment to…”

“Jace´s fiancée is the one who one can listen outside from the shop?” He asked with an ironic smile, raising an eyebrow. “I have to watch that” He muttered while he directed himself to the room that her mother just left. Yes, tonight Aegon and he were going to taunt about what he had seen. She had to be a real beast if that girl was like this for a simple dress.

“Aemond” his mother tried to stopped him, but she couldn´t.

Alara contemplated all the scene as silence as Rhaenyra. She could see how you were breaking into pieces. You were going to marry Jace, not because you thought that he was the right one, but your grandmother thought it. That was the truth. And she only could felt pity for you. So you didn’t give up about the dress. She could see how a tear fallen from your eye, and you cleaned it quickly.

“This is the dress, and if you don’t like it, I´m sorry” you told to your grandmother. However, that discussion wasn’t about the dress actually, it was hiding more in between your grandmother and you than the both of you wanted to recognize.

And in that precise moment that your grandmother was to replied, Alicent and his son were just entered in the room… Alara´s jaw dropped to the floor. She cognized that eye patch, that silver long hair and that coat… he was the guy at the bar… she just looked confused and impacted to you, and in the moment that you realized of his presence you went pale. Alara could see how your mind crashed down in the same moment that your gaze met his.

“Oh, Alicent, this is your son?” Your grandmother asked, ignoring everything that was happening between the three. “You must be a decent man, boy, just tell my grandaugther how she looks with that dress” Alicent parted his lips in a gasp, like if she knew that his son was about to say something monstrous.

Time stopped at that precise moment, as did Aemond's heart. For a moment it stopped beating. You… you were there, just right in front of him, in a wedding dress. Your gaze met his. Again a deer in the middle of the road… the pupil of his eye went dilated. You were the same girl. The girl who didn’t want his number. The girl who begged for him… And… And… his mind was a swirl of thoughts. You are gorgeous, you are stunning, you are… going to marry his not so beloved nephew, really? While his mind was running in reflections, his face didn´t show any emotion, just to the end rose one of the corners of his lips, in a sign of disdain. But, it wasn’t for you… It was just for him. He licked his lips before speak. His gaze couldn´t stop to look at you.

“A perfect future wife is everything I can see here” He smirked “Jace is a truly fortunate man” He wanted to run away from there, but he couldn’t. He was the powerful one there. He was cold, he was the strong one… So, you were his Nephew´s fiancé. What a delighted coincide.

Alicent looked at Aemond. She had given birth to him. She knew her son like the back of her hand. Those words weren’t to mean to. She could understand his disdain by the Velaryon boys, but not this time, please. Not against the poor girl. But surprisely for her, he only approached you and took your hand.

“What a silly thing!” Your grandmother exclaimed again “This is ridiculous, this is not the dress”

But Aemond ignore her. He ignored complete the words of your grandmother. He just kissed your knuckles, really softly, his eye nailed in yours. “My name is Aemond, nice to meet you” his moves were so cocky and confident, a terrible smirk in his face, a shadow of malice in his gaze. ‘Well, nice to meet you again, what a delicious surprise’ he thought ‘You thought you could escape from me?’ Like that night, he was the hunter again and you were the prey, and he was so excited about that.

“My name is (Y/N)” you replied all blushed. It was supposed that you wouldn´t meet him again, you have must dreaming.

“Sister, what a beautiful bride your son have chosen!” he sneered. He wasn't going to show weakness, he wasn't going to show it in front of his bitch of a sister. He was the one who controlled the game, the one who marked the steps... Maybe he wasn't going to make you cry that day, but you were going to remember him forever and that precise moment. He looked into your eyes. Yes, you both knew that you belonged to him, that with simple shag he had you at his feet. "Hm" he sighed with a confident smile, without letting go of your hand.

Alicent was so surprised with that courtesy act. Well, she always thought that Aemond was a truly gentleman, but she never expected that chivalry with Jace´s fiancée.

You couldn’t think, you couldn’t… you just… you just… crashed down, like one computer and the terrible blue screen. You didn’t know what to say, how to move. The guy from the bar, the guy with one you cheated on Jace, the brash bastard that made you cum so hard was… Jace´s uncle. No. It was impossible, it was a nightmare, and however, he was there, in front of you. So tall, so dark, so sexy. You looked away from him, coming back to your reality.

“This is the dress, I decided it” You told to your grandmother and releasing your hand from Aemond´s grab. He chuckled. He couldn’t believe your words. But how could you not say it? You were sleeping with Jace after all. You were his nephew's girlfriend. A woman who knew what she wanted, right? You just didn't know what you really wanted and even he didn’t realize in that moment, but Aemond Targaryen was going to show you what you needed. Aemond moved back to the back of the room, his gaze following you. He already knew your name and whose girlfriend you were and he had proposed something: Jace could take his position in the company, but he was going to keep something much more important in his life: You.

It was not going to be all for his nephews, he refused to accept so. You were what he wanted. A pang of grief stabbed him in the heart, but he quickly recovered to be himself again. He was going to get you no matter what it cost him, he was no longer that boy with those bastards messed with.

When the dress fitting finished, you felt exhausted. What just had happened? Alara approached you when you leaving the changing room. You looked at the hall. There was your grandmother speaking with Alicent, Rhaenyra and Aemond. Your gaze stopped at him. Why he was there? Why? Karma is a bitch, a fucking bitch. And why he has to smell so good? Like coffee and cigarettes, he was like the bad guy about you dreamt when you were at the high school, but you weren’t a teenager anymore… and he was Jace´s uncle… life was punishing you hard…

“Are you okay?” Alara whispered and you only nodded and approached to the group. You pretend a fake smile and you caressed your grandmother shoulder.

“I think that we should go, Nana. It´s going to be late and I have to go to Jace´s apartment” you tried to explain, but your grandmother was still talking with Alicent and Rhaenyra. By the corner of your eye, you saw how Aemond looked at you, a lustful gaze. His arms at his back, that perfect black coat… and regret again.

“We were talking about the dress, Don’t you want to hear my opinion?” she asked you, and you closed your eyes and sighed. You could hear how Aemond gave a little chuckle.

“Not again, thanks” you replied her. All the way to home was going to be like that, you knew it.

“You were truly enchanting in the last dress” Alicent tried to smile “Aemond says that you were breath-taking with it” a little shade of pink appeared  in your cheeks, and Alara realized a brief instant where you looked at Aemond like a needed puppy.

“Thank you, Alicent” You replied with a fake smile.

“(Y/N)” Rhaenyra started to speak looking at Alicent with a sweet smile “We were talking about that you have never met to this part of the family, so we are going to make a familiar lunch at my father´s house the next weekend, all together again. And we will celebrate the new contract too” she informed you.

“Yes, it will be great” you replied really fast, with a fake smile again… you were fucked…

“’I´m not going to meet him again’. Do you remember from who are these words?” Alara whispered in your ear. Alara was acting like the little angel in your shoulder. You glared at her. ‘Just shut up, Alara’ your mind screamed “Oh my god! He has to be one of the best-man at your wedding” she whispered again laughing and you slapped her shoulder, drawing attention or the rest of the presents. She was continuing laughing.

“Then we will meet next Sunday for lunch” Raenhyra replied with a smile.

“It will be delightful” Alicent replied. And you could saw how Aemond smiled, that cocky bastard.

Aemond kept his eye on the road. Alicent was talking about the lunch. She was so excited, seated in the co-pilot seat of that expensive black Mercedes. Actually, Aemond didn´t need to speak about anything in that precisely moment. He couldn’t stop of thinking about you.

“She was pretty in that dress” His mother started to speak, but he pretended he didn’t listened to her. He kept driving in silence “She is really sweet. She is so charming” Alicent continued speaking.

“Hmm” Aemond didn’t’ want to thinking more about that. He had already known how sweet you were, how special you were, how pretty you were. 

“Jace is a truly fortunate boy” his mother muttered, and in that moment, Aemond only felt anger.

 “Yeah, you can get girls like that when your family has the 70% of the family company, your face is not crossed by a scar… and you have two perfectly and healthy eyes… That´s makes the difference…” He spoke up, altered and disturbed by his mother´s words. He hated when she spoke so delight about that boys.

“Aemond, please” His mother begged him, a way to calm his well hidden temper.

“I´m not a child anymore, mother, I know how the way world works” He confessed to her, only anger and regret in his voice.

“I bet you could find a girl like that” Alicent replied.

“Yeah, sure” Aemond couldn’t believe that he was speaking about that with his mother.

“Aemond, you will find a really lovely girl, as sweet as (Y/N)” His mother said, but he didn’t respond. He had to keep his atenttion in the road. He sighed, trying to remain cold and stoic. But what if he didn’t want a girl as sweet as you, What if the only one that he wanted was… You. And, by the seven, he was going to get you.

When you arrived at Jace´s apartment, you landed against the bed that you both normally shared. You started to think again. And then, you found the problem. Yes, that was the problem. You couldn’t remember when the last time that Jace and you had a magnificent sex was. You were to ride him that night, it was going to be the best shag in your life. And you will forget Aemond with your true love. You dressed yourself with those so expensive black panties that you had never used and one of the favorite t-shirt of Jace. You painted your lips red and used the cologne that he had given to you in the last Christmas. It was going to be a great night, a perfect one… you only could imagine his face when he saw you… and the ring door sounded… you went so fast to open, with a sensual smile… and then you opened the door and your smile faded.

“(Y/N)!” Jace picked you up and kissed you, a quick, brief kiss, almost chaste. But you were still surprised. Behind him, there were Luke and Joffrey. “They came for me to the airport” he smiled to you. “So we will have dinner together” he explained to you while you still remained in silence. Luke seemed to understand was what happening and he spoke first.

“Jace, I think that (Y/N) had other plans in her mind with you” he coughed, a little blushed for seeing you in that black panties.

“It doesn’t matter, right, (Y/N)?” he smiled to you. You were still in silence. You didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t the plan.

“Well, you have heard him” Joffrey said loudly, entering in the apartment and going straight to the frige for one beer. You sighed. You sometimes loved his brothers, but that time had to be for the two of you, alone…

“They are going to go early, you will see” Jace whispered in your ear and you only nodded with a perfect smile. You changed your clothes and you had dinner with them. But, they didn’t leave early. They spent almost all night alone talking about the new contract, the new opportuniries… Finally, at the three o´clock of the morming they left.

You fell againt the bed again, this time really tired. Jace yawned by your side. “How was the dress fitting?” he asked you, his gaze fixed at the celling. You lied down againt his chest. You kissed him, ready for the best part of the night. You had waited patiently, now was the time for your reward.

“Good. Normal. I don’t know” you answered his question; while your hips humped against his leg “Did you miss me?” it was an innocent question, but not your voice tone. A sensual whisper only for him. He looked at you confused. You had never been like that before.

“Of course, I…” his voice stopped when your hand caressed his cock. You had tucked it into his pants. He grabbed your wrist. His gaze was so cold. “I´m really tired, (Y/N). It was a long flight, and a stressful week. I´m not in the mood for that…” What he wasn’t on the mood? You had endured his brothers all the night, and now, he wasn’t on the mood?

“I can ride you if you are tired” You murmured almost with tears in your eyes. You need it, you really need it to fix the things, and he was denying what you needed.

“Tomorrow night. We will be not tired, it will be great. I really missed you, but tonight all I need is to cuddle you. That´s all” He caressed your cheek. Yeah, that was all that he needed, but what about you? 

You laid down on your side of the bed and he embrace you from behind, that night he was going to be the big spoon. Perfect. “I really love you, (Y/N)” he whispered again in your ear. But you didn’t replied, all that you could think was if Aemond would have denied you too.

[beomgyuslilracha]

the ceo's son ✧.* [ pt. 3 ]

⊹ pairing: choi soobin x f! reader

⊹ genre: strangers to friends to ... potential lovers (?)

⊹ warnings: none !

⊹ wc: ~5.5k (i'm SO sorry)

summary: you've been an intern at c company for roughly over four months now - directly under the ceo as his assistant. everything was going perfectly: you were saving up money to attend uni next year, and you knew that you were under the ceo's good graces to receive a great recommendation when the time came! in fact, he took a liking to you so much that he'd often joke that he wanted to set you up with his son.

at least ... you thought it was a joke.

as you and soobin sat side-by-side on the bus, you couldn't help but to wonder if the ride was as painfully long as you imagined it to be. not in a bad way, of course, but you couldn't be sure that it was entirely in a good way either.

you had been zoning out the entire duration of the drive to soobin's university, and you were more than sure that you had missed about 87% of whatever conversation he was trying to have with you.

but how could you possibly focus?

soobin's hand was still engulfing your own — and just when you thought you were slowly beginning to recover, his thumb had started to mindlessly caress the back of your hand.

the butterflies have pretty much made the inside of your stomach their permanent home by this point.

to make matters worse, the timing for your sudden epiphany could not have been worse.

who the hell realizes their crush on someone while on their way to said crush's dorm ?!

"did you ... still want to come over?" you heard soobin ask you suddenly, the sadness in his tone being strong enough to break through your daze. "i can always take you home."

the circles he had been tracing on your hand have stopped.

"what? no! no, no, no, of course i still want to come over," you insisted, mentally yelling at yourself for allowing him to notice your distress.

not that you could even pretend to be surprised, seeing as you weren't exactly being very subtle.

soobin's eyebrows furrowed together in a worried confusion, clearly not reassured, considering how off you've been acting since you two left his father's company.

"i'm sorry, i'm just," you began, your eyes flittering everywhere as they tried to find some sort of magical excuse in your surroundings. "i'm still ... thinking about work."

soobin let out a sigh of relief, simply thankful that you weren't secretly wishing he really would take you home.

"ahh, come on, stop thinking about it already," he playfully scolded you, using his free hand to reach over and flick your forehead lightly - so lightly that he might as well have just softly poked you.

you couldn't help but to let out a giggle, finding it far too adorable the way he made sure to be gentle with you.

once you felt the bus coming to a complete stop, you knew that you had arrived to the dorms. your heart leapt from your nerves, still not entirely prepared to be visiting soobin's dorm alone with him.

and by 'not entirely', you definitely meant not at all.

still having yet to break the connection between your interlocked fingers, soobin stood up first and gently pulled you along with him out of the bus.

do friends normally hold hands for this long?

"i made sure to clean up odi's cage after my classes, so i'm hoping it stayed that way since i've been gone," soobin told you, smiling even brighter than before now that you've both finally made it to campus grounds.

you would never believe that the reason behind his smile was mainly due to the fact that you were here with him, unless he told you himself — which he would rather disappear into thin air than admit.

"i know it's unlikely, but i really want him to be nice to me just to make you jealous," you told soobin casually, playfully smirking up at him as he pretended to gasp from shock.

"you would try to take my son away from me?"

you couldn't help but to burst out into laughter, unable to keep a straight face when soobin was acting so adorably - clutching at his heart like you practically stabbed him.

anyone looking at soobin just then would be able to plainly see the adoration in his eyes from the way he looked at you. his mind and heart swooning from the beautiful melody erupting from your lips, wishing for nothing more than to hear you laugh over and over again.

had you taken a brief second amidst your laughter to look up at him, you surely would have been able to see it yourself.

"it wasn't even that funny," soobin finally spoke, contradicting his own words when your contagious laughter caught up to him as he did.

eventually, whenever both of your laughing had subsided, you then continued to trail about a step or two behind soobin - secretly relishing in the feeling of having him lead you by hand.

you engaged in small talk as you walked, asking him what buildings were what and having him describe to you what his daily schedule was usually like. this allowed him to also indulge you in the stories of his favorite and least favorite classes.

"oh, by the way, i've been meaning to ask" you briefly interrupted him, a sudden thought popping into your head. "do you not have any roommates?"

the question had briefly bounced around in your head earlier in the day, but you assumed that he would have told you about them if he did. however, since you were already on your way, you figured you'd ask him anyway.

"hm? oh, yeah, i have- ...," soobin trailed off on his sentence, freezing entirely in place as his eyes widened - with a look that could only be properly described as fear.

suddenly dropping your hand for the first time in what felt like years, soobin pulled out his phone in a panic and began tapping around furiously before putting the device up to his ear.

seeing as he was clearly a bit preoccupied, you didn't let that painful twinge in your heart affect you too much from the empty feeling now lingering in your palm.

maybe after a minute or so of silence - him waiting on the phone and you simply left confused - he eventually received an answer.

"get out."

your hands quickly flew up to cover your mouth, physically having to suppress the urge to burst out into another fit of laughter from his sudden words. you could only hear soobin's end of the conversation, and it most definitely caught you off guard much sooner than you imagined.

"i said what i said, i need you all to get out."

a second of silence.

"it doesn't matter why."

silence again.

"look, i promise the reason is very important to me. i just need all of you gone for ...," he glanced over at you briefly. "maybe two hours?"

two hours?!

you blushed profusely, averting your gaze to focus on some random location over your shoulder.

you definitely had no plan to leave right away after having just arrived, but hearing two hours suddenly felt like a long amount of time to be alone with him. then again, remembering how quickly time flew while you were together, it also didn't feel like enough.

"i don't know, go ... go to yeonjun's room or something! i seriously do not care where you go." soobin was very clearly exasperated, running a frustrated hand through his hair, and that was because the call had only been active for about 3 minutes.

"yes, yes, whatever," soobin sighed, now rubbing at his temple. "i'll do it tomorrow, i just need you to do this for me today."

without even a goodbye, soobin hung up the phone and finally looked over at you with the most apologetic expression you had ever seen.

"i'm so sorry, i completely forgot about my roommates," he sighed, practically dragging his feet as he stepped closer to you.

trying your hardest not to laugh, you tilted your head curiously. "do you not like them?"

surprisingly enough, soobin looked genuinely baffled by your question - almost like he couldn't possibly understand where you got that idea from. it took maybe about a second later before it then looked like he was actually contemplating the idea.

"i don't not like them," he finally answered, breaking into his dimply grin that made your heart pound. "they're my best friends."

you played with the idea for a while in your head, slowly beginning to nod. "sounds about right," you finally came to the conclusion.

no person would talk that way to others unless they were their best friend. on top of that, you most definitely didn't peg soobin as the type of guy to just run out all of his roommates that he wasn't even remotely close with.

with a slight nod back towards the building you were originally headed to, soobin continued to guide you the rest of the way to the dorms.

your hand feeling depressingly empty the entire way.

without anymore unscheduled stops - not including soobin lingering a bit in the lobby to ensure his roommates were given enough time to leave - the two of you finally made it to the fourth floor that his dorm room was located on.

now that he was escorting you down the dreadfully long hallway, your heartbeat began to pound in your ears. the situation had suddenly become far more nerve-wracking than it was just a minute ago.

maybe because, as you watched soobin stop in front of one of the doors, you realized that this moment was actually real.

"you ready?"

NO!?

why would he go and make your anxiety worse by asking that??

"yes, of course!"

you couldn't tell if you were lying or telling the truth.

on the one hand, you definitely wanted nothing more than to go inside and finally see the place for yourself. on the other hand, you were quite literally seconds away from melting into a puddle just from thinking about it.

regardless, soobin had already begun inserting his dorm key to unlock the door.

you were biting down on your bottom lip in anticipation, your heart rate gradually increasing as you watched the door finally begin to open. the wooden floor was coming into view, and you could just make out the view of the living area from where you stood.

with a giddy little smile, you stepped through the threshold directly behind soobin and was finally able to get a full view of the dorm.

it was ... a sight, for sure.

soobin groaned in clear embarrassment beside you, quickly kicking off his shoes at the doorway before rushing to begin tidying up the cluttered surfaces.

"i promise it didn't look like this when i left earlier," he sighed, now with a raid spray can, bottle of lotion, packing tape, scissors, and a clothes hanger gathered in his hands.

and that was just from cleaning the small dining table.

"no, no, you're ... fine." truth be told, you weren't exactly sure what to say.

you slowly removed your own shoes, neatly placing them away from the haphazard clutter of the other pairs of shoes that were discarded there.

you padded over to the living area behind soobin, now watching him as he engrossed himself into picking up discarded clothing and trash that had been left behind.

it was a little hard for you to believe that this was only an afternoon's worth of mess.

at first you were going to interrupt the boy and remind him of the reason why you were even there in the first place, but then you found yourself being helplessly distracted by his features.

the focus in his eyes alone made you want to swoon, seeing how adorable he looked with the tiny pout on his lips. even his cute, puffy cheeks were practically begging to be poked and squeezed. you didn't want to even begin thinking about the protruding veins in his arms ...

how could he affect your heart so much and not even realize it?

the second you noticed his hands were momentarily empty, and his eyes were mindlessly scanning the room looking for more to clean, you took the opportunity to quickly walk over and tug at his arm for his attention.

"soobiiiiin, i thought i came here to meet odi," you whined, now pouting up at the boy with your best puppy eyes.

you didn't even notice his breath hitch for a second. "you're right, i'm sorry," he quickly apologized.

you didn't even hear whatever he just said, your mind was too busy focusing its entire attention on the hand that had just settled on the small of your back to guide you towards the hallway.

your throat had practically run dry, and you simply prayed that he could not feel the way his touch had sent chills running through your spine.

"this is my room," soobin had introduced - thankfully speaking soon enough to prevent you from entering another daze - opening up the door to one of the rooms. "odi stays in here with me."

his bedroom was much more spacious, and far cleaner, than you originally pictured. it was able to fit all the basic furniture, as well as a rather large pen enclosure on the floor.

once your eyes caught it, you didn't even care to pay attention to the rest of the actual bedroom, gasping in excitement and dropping to your knees to get a closer look at odi's little home. soobin had knelt down beside you, chuckling at your eagerness, and reached over to the little hideout tent to check if his son was inside.

"he's a little grumpy right now," soobin warned you, carefully handling the most adorable little odi in his hands to show you. "i think i might have woken him up."

saying nothing, afraid to even breathe wrong to disturb the hedgehog, you reached out a gentle finger to attempt a careful stroke on his little quills. unfortunately, you had to pull your entire hand back when he let out a hiss.

"odi!" soobin scolded, lifting him up carefully to look at him directly. "come on, you have to be nice!"

"aww, no, it's okay!" you reassured him. soobin had definitely warned you that odi wasn't exactly the friendliest pet, so you didn't think it was fair to get after him.

after maybe a few more minutes of trying, you were completely over the moon to finally have the infamous odi resting in the palm of your hands.

about a minute or two later, you were then to be found in the restroom washing his pee off your hands.

you were giggling, though, watching through the mirror as soobin was bonking his head against the door frame behind you. no matter how many times you assured him that it was okay, he still felt the need to keep apologizing.

"it's completely natural, it's fine!" you laughed again, now drying your hands with the hand towel that was hanging beside the light switch.

soobin stopped hitting his head, but he still looked at you with pouted lips and an embarrassed pink tint to his cheeks.

your breath came out shakier than you wanted when you met his eyes, but you were determined to keep your thoughts straight and your mind focused on anything that was not his lips.

"okay, come on, i wanna see your room again!" you announced, grabbing ahold of his arm and leading him back towards the bedroom you were just in.

this time, without any hedgehog-related distractions, you were finally able to get a good look at soobin's room.

his bedspread was a plain navy blue spread, but noticeably neat with how carefully the corners were tucked in. his desk had more of an organized disorder to it - his laptop in the center surrounded by messily stacked papers, textbooks, and a disarray of multi-colored pens and highlighters.

his small bookshelf was your favorite part. you found yourself unconsciously breaking into a smile as your eyes scanned over the shelf containing a scattered manga collection, a range of different albums, and even a few dvd movies. your eyes then shifted towards the windowsill, cutely decorated with a row of succulent plants - which allowed you to take note of a very specific one you recognized.

"did you get yourself one too?" you questioned.

"no, actually, that one's yours. you forgot to take it with you when you ran off earlier," soobin explained, reaching over to grab the tiny succulent.

your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, suddenly reliving the memory for yourself and remembering exactly why you ran off.

"ahh! i'm so sorry, i can't believe it slipped my mind," you apologized, taking the plant from him and carefully holding it in your palms. "i really didn't mean to forget."

"it's okay, i know you just didn't want to be late again," soobin chuckled, ruffling the top of your head in a way that made your heart flip.

ha ha ... yeah ... that was why you ran ...

you cleared your throat, looking back towards his shelves in order to quickly change the subject - not wanting to accidentally bring up the true reason why you took off earlier.

"so i see you're a really big fan of anime," you commented, placing the plant down on his desk before reaching over and pulling out his volume one of jujutsu kaisen.

"i wouldn't say i'm a big fan; i really don't watch that much," soobin explained, sounding a little too nervous as he answered. "i enjoy a few shows."

you nodded in understanding, not wanting to push him any further, but you got the sense that he was merely trying to downplay the fact that he was a much bigger anime fan than he wanted to admit.

"do you watch any?"

looking up to see the way soobin's eyes almost shined with hope, you genuinely wished you could lie to him and say you were just as big a fan as he was.

starting tonight, you swore to binge watch every single one.

"i've seen maybe a few, but i'm more of a studio ghibli fan than anything," you answered honestly.

the tilt of confusion and the furrowed eyebrows: suddenly an immediate red flag.

"choi soobin, you better be lying," you warned, pointing a threatening finger at him before he even had a chance to ask his cursed question.

soobin squeezed his lips together, popping out the dimples that made you weak, and your heart could only shatter with betrayal. no matter how adorable he looked, or how he simply melted your heart, you refused to overlook this act of treason.

he had soon opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but you immediately hushed him. "no! not a word! we are watching them right now, i don't care," you quickly insisted, not even thinking twice before marching out of his bedroom and into the living area.

ignoring the surprised expression on his face as he followed you, you promptly took a seat on the sofa and gestured for him to handle the tv. soobin wordlessly obliged, practically rushing to set up netflix for the two of you.

despite the confident demeanor you exuded, your heart was secretly racing at a million miles a minute as you watched him.

you were far too focused on soobin's lack of culture to completely acknowledge that you had just mindlessly suggested the two of you watch a movie together. sure, you went to the movies before, but this was completely different. this was now here at his dorm ... alone.

not long later, with your heart still racing like mad, the two of you were officially settled on the couch as the movie began to play. soobin had even taken an extra moment before to prepare a bowl of popcorn for the two of you to share.

watching as howl's literal moving castle came on to screen, you immediately grew giddy with excitement. you felt your heart swell at the thought of being able to share one of your absolute favorite movies with the cute boy beside you - and you'd even be able to relish in his first reactions all for yourself.

although, unbeknownst to you, the boy beside you was nothing but a liar.

he has, in fact, seen just about every studio ghibli film ever made, which included about 20 reruns of the film currently playing. at first, he just wanted to tease you and pretend that he had never heard of it just to get your reaction. now, seeing as you were sitting only a few centimeters away from him and ready to watch the movie together, soobin vowed to let the secret die with him.

it was hard, though, for him to keep a blank face as he watched. most especially with the cute girl beside him, who kept stealing glances any chance she got in order to see how he was reacting.

he caught himself exaggerating a scowl at the scene with sophie and the two soldiers, wanting to be sure you truly noticed how much he disapproved the way they acted towards her.

you would find yourself occasionally biting the inside of your cheek to suppress any giggles that wanted to escape, not wanting to interrupt the watching experience for soobin.

of course, this is without you knowing that he was faking the entire watch experience for your benefit. he'd smile, chuckle, gasp, and anything he felt was appropriate to satisfy you.

seeing how happy his little expressions would make you, he started to react a little more often than he probably should.

you didn't really pay too much mind to it, though - you were just excited that he was enjoying the movie with you.

by the time it reached the scene where sophie, howl, and the witch of the waste were escaping madame suliman's castle, you accidentally found yourself too engrossed in the film to remember to watch for soobin's reactions.

in fact, you didn't even manage to remember to pay attention to your own actions.

without even realizing, you had slowly leaned further into soobin and were now pressed entirely up against him. your head was resting on his shoulder, and your hand began to mindlessly play with the ends of his fingers.

soobin had long forgotten about the movie now. for a moment, he was quite sure he also forgot how to breathe.

can you feel his heart racing? is his breathing even?

he was worried that if he dared to move, then you would pull away. he even had to fight every urge in his body that desperately wanted to intertwine your hands together, afraid that it would be too much and scare you away.

the thoughts he would shamefully fight himself to suppress were beginning to bubble back up - thoughts he knew a friend should not be having about their other friend.

suddenly, when it came to the part where howl was set to move the castle, both you and soobin perked up at the sound of a door hinge squeaking not too far away. having been slightly scared, you wrapped your arms around soobin's, feeling much safer knowing that he was with you. as you both simultaneously turned your heads in the direction it came from, it was then followed by a quick slam.

soobin let out a frustrated sigh, leaning his elbows on his knees as he began to rub at his temples. admittedly, you were quite confused as to why this noise would upset him.

you watched as he checked the time on his phone, revealing it had now been over an hour and a half since you've arrived, and eventually looked over to meet your eyes with a saddened expression. "it kills me to say this, you have no idea, but i need to take you home."

your heart genuinely felt as if it had been split into two.

"but ... but the movie's not over," you tried to reason, looking over to see that the film was still playing with neither of you watching now. "and we're almost done."

"i know, i know, but-," he paused to glance over towards the hallway, watching one of the doors intently for a second before turning back to you. "let me explain on the way out, okay?"

you felt your bottom lip starting to tremble, and you had to turn entirely away from soobin to keep him from seeing, opting to mumble a simple "okay" in return.

with the movie still going, probably to cover the sound of you both leaving, soobin made sure to grab something from his room before meeting you at the entrance to put your shoes back on.

it wasn't until he carefully closed the front door behind him before he turned to suddenly grasp both your hands in his — making your heart swoon so quickly, you almost didn't recover in time to hear what he had to say.

"i'm so, so sorry! please don't be upset with me." his eyes held so much sincerity, and the soft grip he had on your hands tightened in what felt like desperation.

maybe you were biased, but there was no possible way you could be mad at him.

"i'm not upset," you reassured him, putting on a small smile. "maybe a little confused, but not upset."

soobin took a second to glance back at the door, then leaving only one of his hands in yours to begin guiding you back towards the elevators. he had yet to say a word until you both were safely secured inside and headed downward.

"my roommates were hiding in the room," he sighed, sounding ashamed more than anything else.

your eyes widened, quickly whipping your head up at him to see if he was lying - though, you didn't see any reason as to why he would.

"i didn't want you to feel uncomfortable knowing they were trying to eavesdrop the entire night. and i especially didn't want to keep you there knowing they were listening."

you gulped, averting your eyes to face the contorted reflection in the elevator doors.

the entire night?!

essentially, neither you or soobin were doing anything wrong that provoked you to feel any sense of embarrassment or guilt, but you were drowned in the feeling regardless.

how much did they hear?

how much did they know?

your face began to flush an even deeper shade of red, and the temperature in the elevator most definitely got about ten degrees warmer than before. you prayed and prayed that you were merely just overthinking - there was absolutely no way they could have figured anything out, but you were suddenly so nervous anyway.

"are you okay?"

soobin's voice took little effort to pierce through your thoughts, most especially combined with the way his hand gently squeezed yours to gain your attention.

all it took was one look into his eyes to help ease all of your worries completely.

before, you never really thought anything good of the color brown. you'd say time and time again that it was the most bland color out there. recently, though, you'd even swear that brown was your new favorite color. it suddenly held so much more warmth, comfort, and beauty than you ever realized before. all it took was for a certain boy's eyes to help you notice how special it truly was.

breaking into a huge grin, you found yourself suddenly giggling. "i'm fine, don't worry! just a little weirded out, but it's okay," you reassured him.

soobin sighed, returning more of a tired smile. "i'm gonna kill them, i swear."

you shook your head, giggling even more. the more you thought about it, you realized the situation was actually pretty funny. you also couldn't help but to be most amused by how adorable soobin looked with your favorite little pout. never did you imagine that he could look this cute while being mildly upset.

who were you kidding ... he always looked cute.

as you both reached the lobby, walking a step behind soobin as he lead you by hand, you began to wonder to yourself.

"soobin," you called for his attention, unknowingly making his heart pound from merely saying his name. "what are your roommates like?"

truth be told, you were starting to wish you got to meet them earlier. if nothing else, you knew it would've been an amazing opportunity to hear stories about what soobin was like with them. maybe you would've had the chance to even hear embarrassing stories about him from each of them.

"they're annoying, trust me," soobin deadpanned. "they're way too loud and they only know how to get on my nerves."

you could only smile, more than sure that there was still a hint of affection behind his words. he would have never called them his best friends if he truly believed what he said.

maybe they were annoying, that had to be a given, but soobin definitely had to secretly enjoy it.

"do you not want me to meet them?" you asked curiously, now shifting from amused to a little worried.

soobin definitely caught this for himself as well, stopping in his tracks to face you completely before speaking. "no, no, of course i do," he spoke with the most soft and tender voice. "i'd love to have you meet my friends, i'm just ... embarrassed by them, that's all."

you were honestly more relieved than you expected.

"well ... i'd like to meet them some day," you told him in a low voice, a bit shy from admitting it.

soobin couldn't help but to smile at you, his dimples caving even deeper as he just found you so adorable for wanting to meet his friends.

he couldn't help but to wish he'd be introducing you as more than just a friend

after reassuring you that you'll meet his friends soon, he continued on his way to lead you back to the bus station. the last bus for the night would be arriving soon, and he didn't want to be the reason you missed it.

what kind of gentleman would he be then?

you made it back to the bus stop eventually, and soobin made sure to wait with you until he could be sure that you were safely on board.

"oh! you won't forget this again, will you?" he asked you suddenly, carefully pulling out the tiny succulent he had gotten for you from his jacket pocket.

you let out a gasp, quickly reaching your hands out to take the plant from him and cradle it in your own. "of course not! i'm gonna take really good care of it, i promise!"

soobin laughed, stuffing both his hands back into his pockets, glancing down the street as he noticed the bus finally just a short distance away. he never thought the sight of a bus would have ever broken his heart before, but knowing this one was coming to take you away from him ... he swore to hate buses for the rest of his life.

"i'll see you tomorrow, right?" you asked soobin, just as the bus was coming to a stop in front of you both.

"definitely," soobin beamed, his dimples shining at you just as well.

as you usually did after every lunch, you found yourself quickly snuggling into soobin's arms and reveling in his warmth for a moment that never felt long enough.

"goodnight, soobin," you told him, pulling away and turning to finally enter the bus.

at least, you were supposed to enter the bus, but a sudden hand lightly wrapping around your wrist stopped you from doing so. confused, you turned to look at the culprit, whose gaze was averted to the ground.

"soobin?" you questioned, noticing that he had yet to speak and the driver of the bus was beginning to question whether you were coming on or not. "soobin, i have to-"

"call me binnie."

what??

"what?"

soobin finally met your eyes, and you couldn't even begin to imagine the way his heart was on the verge of beating out of his chest - you were too busy trying to keep your own heart inside of yours. a second longer, and he was pretty sure that all the breath would leave his body entirely.

"call me binnie," he finally repeated, his gaze practically pleading. "i liked it when you did."

"come on, let's go!" the bus driver yelled, dramatically honking the horn as a last call.

you turned quickly to assure them one more second before turning back to the boy still holding your wrist. "goodnight ... binnie." without even thinking, your lips suddenly came into contact with his dimply cheek.

unfortunately, you didn't have the time to realize what you did or capture his reaction, because you had to immediately enter the bus before you were left behind.

in that moment, with you sat on the back of the bus and soobin left standing on the sidewalk, you both were left breathless with pounding hearts. if that was just from a kiss on the cheek ...

you looked down at the succulent plant in your hands, staring deeply at the ceramic heart that was starting to mean much more to you than it should ...

you let out a groan, dropping your face into your hands.

you were in more trouble than you thought.

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

this was NOT supposed to end up as long as it did .... i have no words. and i'm honestly torn about how i feel about it ?? i liked the beginning, but i'm iffy about the end - but at the same time, i couldn't stop writing. pls pls PLEASE let me know what you guys think !! i really, truly, deeply love reading your replies and reblogs and asks telling me your opinions - it makes me SO happy to see how much you guys love it 🥹🥹🥹💓💓

ANYWAY, i seriously hope everyone enjoys pt. 3 as well <3 if anyone would genuinely like to see this little series continue, let me knooooowww !!!

[smuglilsomethin]

The Maybe Man by AJR is so Furina coded

Soooo I was listening to the new AJR album (I have Steve's Going to London stuck on loop in my head). And then I played through 4.2 over the weekend. And now I really want to make it into an animatic so I have a whole lyric chart thingy set up and everything.

Obvi this is going to contain spoilers for Fontaine 4.2 (not her story quest tho, I haven't played it... will probably rb this with updates if I decide to make any changes to the lyric analysis)

This made me think of how Focalors and the Oceanids wanted to be human. They saw how the humans did goofy human things (having emotions, being happy, being sad, etc... hence the "made up and smiled") and went "Yes I want to do that". So they "don't want to be stone, [they] changed their mind". They didn't want to be oceanids anymore, they wanted to become human.

Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel

You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal

But I'd miss the way we make up and smile

Don't want to be stone I changed my mind.

This one's a bit on-the-nose. It made me think of Furina's accession speech and how at first she was earnest, probably thinking a lot about what Focalors said to her (the "places [she's] been" being the mirror scene when Focalors first told her to pretend to be the hydro archon), but then she heard the Fontainians judging her and questioning her legitimacy as an archon ("talking shit"). In animatic form this would just be where it shows why she started acting all-knowing and all-powerful. Also I wonder if she actually thought of the Fontainians as her "friends"/equals when she initially began her speech.

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head

Then I could see the places I've been

But then I would know that you're talkin' shit

I don't want to know what my friends think.

I've yet to see Furina interact with a dog so my first thought was that scene where she was playing with the cats in the courtyard on the night Arlecchino attacked her. Not that scene specifically, but just the idea that she normally plays with stray animals in Fontaine's city. The "I wouldn't live long" immediately made me think of her lifespan being unnaturally extended via her curse, meaning humans don't live long to her (not just dogs/cats, though it's the same way pets don't live long in comparison to humans).

Wish I were my dog, out on the lawn,

I'd be so glad when I hear you come home

But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long

I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone.

I wish I could act in a show on TV

'Cause then I could practice not bein' me

I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel

But you won't believe when I cry for real.

This one I thought fit Furina really well. Furina de Fontaine acts in plays as well as fakes being an archon. Bro is acting 24/7, always practicing "not being [her]". Because she never is her actual self.

In an animatic I could see that for the "I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel" it could show her crying, like full on breaking down, but then on the "you won't believe me when I cry for real" it zooms out to show that it's a stage with an applauding crowd to show that the Fontainians think it's just a part of the show she's starring in.

She wants to be as wise as a real archon. Whether it be her finally being able to come up with a way to stop the prophecy, or a way to always win in a trial (every "fight", or as she would put it, every "duel"). Except if she was always all-knowing, she would constantly be thinking about the prophecy or other super heavy archon-related things, and being a human, humans aren't meant to constantly be under that strain. Because (as I interpreted the cutscene, at least) even though she had the prophecy and archon role weighing her down, she seemed to at least have some moments where she was having genuine fun (i think??? or maybe she's just that good of an actor and fooled me ig)

I wish that my brain would triple in size

I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight

But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind

I don't wanna know the point of life.

In some other life I would be rich

I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill

But couldn't complain 'bout anything small

Nobody'd feel bad for me at all.

She's living someone else's life as the hydro archon. She already lives luxuriously so I think in the animatic it would just be showing her day-to-day life, doing fake archon things. But she can't confide in anyone the truth. She can't "complain about anything small", or break the image that she's this perfect being. And because of that, "Nobody would feel bad for [her] at all".

If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack

I'd get invited to every frat

But when you get old and your good days have passed

You'll only want me when you're sad.

This made me think of her trailer where she was surrounded by all the Fontaine characters in a choreographed fight. Except instead, this part of the animatic would be her surrounded by Fontainians dancing. Naturally, as an archon, she gets invited to every party.

But when she gets old, and her good days have passed--when the flood dissolves everyone and she's all alone in the sea--she'll only have the memories of those plays and dances that she had with the humans when they were still there. (This never happened but it's what she expected to happen since the beginning. It lowkey reminds me of Briar Rose from Ever After High? Like she wants to party and have fun with everyone while she still can before everyone gets dissolved and she's all alone.)

The first two lines kind of go with the previous paragraph with the music and dancing. But the second two lines made me think of the scenes where she would have Fontainians having appointments to meet with her and being all excited. Except "two or three minutes, then I'm gone". I interpreted this as every human's lifespan feeling extremely short to Furina, especially with that one part of the cutscene where one of the humans was talking about one of their ancestors being the first in their bloodline to meet her--a human that we saw her "talking to" only a few moments ago in the same cutscene.

Wish I was a song, your favorite one

You'd follow the dance to me at your prom

I would be there when your baby is born

For two or three minutes, then I'm gone.

I wish I was big, as big as my house

I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd

But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch

God, I could really use him now.

Now's when the meat of the song comes in.

She wishes that she was as "big", or as powerful, as a real archon. She'd do all the things a real archon could do ("sleep on the trees", "skip every crowd"... not sure how these would be depicted but you get the point).

But then, she wouldn't need Neuvillette anymore, which I see as her main support (even though she never tells him anything, she wanted him to go to Arlecchino's meeting with her to feel safe so I feel like she places some confidence in him / reliance on him at least). But she doesn't want to not need Neuvillette anymore. She wants him around.

I wish I was God, I'd never trip up

And if I did, well, so fuckin' what?

I could be cruel and break all your stuff

Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what...

THIS STANZA LKSDJFSDLKJFDSLKJ

Again, she wants to be a real archon (or maybe she doesn't--my favorite part of this song is how it's constantly contradicting itself and going back on its statements because maybe you would want to be all-knowing. Maybe you would want to be all-powerful. Maybe you would want to be God. It's indecisive and constantly changing, just like the human condition etc etc). She wouldn't have to be so scared of messing up. She wouldn't have to be afraid of the humans questioning her legitimacy. She could do whatever she wanted and get away with it. The Fontainians would love her no matter what.

But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird

'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear.

And then you would die. You'd love me to death.

I'd never know who the hell I am.

...Except, if she were an actual archon, she'd still feel weird about how the humans worshipped her. When her act is convincing enough, the humans listen to what she says without question. Especially that one part of the cutscene where she's meeting with one of the citizens and literally starts crying in the middle of it. She makes up an excuse about her being the hydro archon, thus having excess hydro in her system... and the human just. Buys it. She starts fangirling as Furina is crying.

And then they would die. They'd love her to death.

This could fit with that part with the talk of bloodlines and the first ancestor who met her, but I'd like to think that it meant the prophecy's flood.

The prophecy would swallow Fontaine whole. All the Fontainians would dissolve.

But they'd still love her to death. They would still worship her without question.

And she'd never know who she was for real.

I wish I was me, whoever that is

I could just be and not give a shit

Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan

'Cause I don't know who the hell I am.

I can see her saying this during her internal monologue stage as her play's final scene.

She wants to be herself, but she doesn't know how. She's been Focalors since day one, so she has no idea who Furina is.

One, two, pandemonium!

One, two, pandemonium!

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium!

Here I go again

One, two, pandemonium!

One, two—

Here I go again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This part of the song oml. "Pandemonium" describes Fontaine's archon quest pretty well, and combined with the instrument spaghetti in the song finale it conveys the feeling of the storyline precisely.

When the instruments start playing and the crowd starts cheering, I could see that being the magic box opening revealing that Furina is going on trial.

Here she goes again, about to put on another performance.

I was thinking of making this into a series? Like I have a lot of songs that line up with characters (not just Genshin, like I currently have one for Danganronpa that's been cooking for like a year) and I want to put it in some kind of lyric analysis / animatic planning format like I did with this one. I'm putting this post (along with the Lyney as Envy Baby drawing) under [ #smug's playlist ] so look out for that I guess?

[heesopretty]

pairings: wonbin x gn!reader

warnings: angst, chronic cheater wonbin, toxic wonbin, pathetically down bad wonbin

notes: i know this isn’t the best, but i hope it’s still fun to read because i had fun writing this 🫡

after cheating on you, wonbin thought that that’d be it.

never in his life did he envision himself offering his commitment to you after you moved on (in theory).

“…did you seriously cheat on me while i was sleeping?”

you squinted, observing the enigmatic creature in front of you. the two of you were seated comfortably on your bed, facing one another fiercely with contrasting expressions. wonbin’s expression was nonchalant.

like cheating on his partner was a completely normal and reasonable thing to do. you could immediately tell that he didn’t care, and that made you sick to your stomach—not with sadness, but with pure malice.

“last night? yeah.”

you were seething with rage.

your expression was calm with a poisonous gaze as you observed him in all his slyness.

“what do you mean by that..?”

you inquired, leaning in ever so slightly to let his words flow through your mind and settle.

“including you, i’ve taken like, seven people’s virginities since we’ve started dating.”

he admitted, appearing indifferent—to a chilling degree—at his direct assertion.

wonbin really didn’t care, did he?

you thought back to all the times in your relationship with wonbin. you remembered every date you had, every post, every text, and you could feel it all fall apart.

you could feel all of this land on you.

“ok, so can you get out of my fucking house now?”

the corner of wonbin’s lips twitched upwards.

you hated it. you hated that you weren’t sure if you felt like crying because you wanted to strangle him or because he didn’t look like he cared at all about you.

about all that time you’d spent together.

it was all thrown away, all those memories and emotions being a bunch of bullshit.

“yeah.”

wonbin got up, taking his things and casually walking to his car. as you watched his back get more and more distant, you fought everything in you to push down the lump in your throat and the tears welling up in your eyes. as you heard your breath stutter, faint sniffling, and wonbin’s car fading away, you felt your face heat up and your cheeks dampen with your tears.

just how much of your time did he waste..?

it hadn’t taken you and wonbin very long to find other people—though, saying the feelings were genuine would be anything but accurate.

while wonbin was insistent on asserting his love life (mostly the sex part) on his public story, you opted for the alternative, instead, posting cheesy posts about your new lover.

whether it was real or not was hard to discern, though, you were adamant on making it seem realistic.

just to piss wonbin off.

needless to say, it’d worked.

it irked wonbin, it really did. he didn’t like that you pretended like you never blushed when he’d enter the room you were in, he didn’t like that you acted like you never loved him, he hated how quickly you’d moved onto someone who was so subpar compared to him.

obviously, he was better, but it irked him that you didn’t see that. it was as if wonbin, the man who caught everyone’s eye was not attractive enough for you to miss.

and it pissed him off.

wonbin’s relationship was flawed too. this, he knew. by technical standards, it barely counted as one, moreso fitting a haphazard (at best) attempt at a committed friends with benefits relationship. clearly, his moral footing had been compromised, considering that even in this sort of relationship, where they were both okay with sleeping with others, he still couldn’t contain the urges to cheat.

it was pathetic too, like he was falling right into the palms of your hands even though it was supposed to be the other way around.

he hated the way you were making him feel.

wonbin stared blankly at his phone screen, thinking less than deeply about the consequences of his actions.

he wished he could say he felt bad, but he’d be lying. not when he was this desperate for your attention.

it only took so long before you broke up with your rebound, the guilt of playing with someone like that eating at you.

you were better than this; you weren’t like wonbin.

eventually, the news had reached wonbin (rather quickly). a brow of yours furrowed, irritated that wonbin still refused to leave you alone. when you saw the notification he’d sent, you audibly gasped, evidently not prepared for what he’d said.

your eyes widened, mildly shocked that he was willing to let go of his unapologetic and arrogant demeanor to sleep with you. it was a first, which was an honor, but it sounded rather silly to think that wonbin ever had a chance of getting you back after what he did.

besides, those feelings for wonbin weren’t real, why would you waste your time on him?

he’d never learn to actually love you.

you set your phone down, laying back down on your couch and staring blankly at the ceiling. you fidgeted with your hands, sighing quietly.

all you could think about?

… unfortunately, life with loyal wonbin.

[jennay]

It’s Bad Again

Rory Culkin x Reader

Master List

Idea: Rory comforts reader as she goes through a hard time with her mental health.

Words 2k

An: I hope you guys enjoy! Feel free to comment reblog send ideas you want written! Let me know what you think! It’s helpful to have encouraging words. Anyways. Thank you mostly for reading all my stuff. 💜

Warnings: Just mental health stuff and a little angst with much needed fluff.

You felt a wave of nausea wash over you, starting from your stomach and spreading to your chest. Your stomach churned with butterflies every time you faced the daunting task of getting out of bed. Your palms were clammy and cold every time you grasped the door handle, and your legs shook not allowing you to go to the world outside. You knew it was getting bad again.

You wanted someone to talk to, someone who would understand and support you, but every time you reached out, you got the same empty responses. 'You need to take care of yourself' or 'It's normal to feel anxious sometimes.' They didn't get it. They didn't see how much this feeling was crushing you. How it made you miss work, sit in the shower, cry your eyes out, and lie still in the dark for hours. How it made you distance yourself from your friends, your family, and your boyfriend, telling them lies about being ill or busy or needing some space.

You tried to cope with it in different ways. You tried writing down your thoughts in a journal, but the words seemed hollow and meaningless. You tried to distract yourself with various activities around your apartment, but nothing could keep the thoughts at bay. You tried to listen to uplifting podcasts and learn new hobbies, but they only made you feel more hopeless and inadequate. You wanted to cook yourself some food, but by the time it was ready, you had lost your appetite. The sight of the food on your plate made you gag. You never felt hungry anymore.

Today, you made an effort to at least drink some coffee and sit on your porch. You thought the sun would help you feel alive, but as you sat in the white plastic chair and gazed at the horizon, you started to wonder what the point of living was. You felt like you were wasting space, not only in your own life but other people's lives.

You gently placed your coffee on the glass table next to you. You hug your knees to your chest and resting your chin on them.

You watched the bunnies in your backyard, hopping around and nibbling on the grass. They seemed so carefree and happy; their only concern was finding something to eat. You wished you could trade places with them, even for a moment.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, breaking your trance. You sighed and pulled it out, knowing you had to check the message. You owed it to the people who cared about you to let them know you were still alive.

I'm on my way over.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. It wasn't that you didn't want to see Rory, but you didn't want to lie to him, either. You knew you could talk to him about anything, but every time you did, his face would change. He would look sad and worried like he was failing you somehow. You hated making him feel that way.

You typed a reply as fast as possible, telling him you were fine and he didn't need to bother coming over.

You wished he would take your word for it but knew he wouldn't. He knew you too well, and he cared too much.

You couldn't avoid him, no matter how much you wanted to. You could lock the door and pretend you weren't home, but he would just walk around the house and find you in the backyard. He had keys, after all.

You breathed deeply, trying to calm your nerves. It would be OK, you told yourself. You would be OK. Everything would be OK. Right?

You looked down at yourself, feeling ashamed of your appearance. You hadn't changed out of your pajamas in days; what was the point? Your hair was a tangled mess, barely held together by a scrunchie. At least you had brushed your teeth this morning. That was something, right?

The sliding glass door opens, causing your body to tense. You continue staring at the deck, not ready to make eye contact with Rory.

"Hey." He says, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He looks at you with concern, his blue eyes shining in the sunlight.

You raise your eyes to meet his, forcing a smile. "Hi." You say, standing up from the chair and walking towards him. You wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You hope he doesn't notice the tears in your eyes or the tremor in your voice.

He hugs you back, his strong arms holding you close. You feel the warmth of his body against yours, slightly boosting your serotonin.

"I missed you." Rory whispers, kissing the top of your head. He smells like cologne and coffee, a familiar and comforting scent. "I was thinking we should get out of the house today. Maybe go for a walk or grab some lunch?"

Your breath catches in your throat, and the feeling of anxiety returns. You don't want to go out in public. You want to avoid facing the world and its judgments. You gently pull back from his embrace, avoiding his gaze. You open the sliding glass door and walk to the kitchen. Hopping up on the counter, your legs dangle down, and you hold on to the edges for stability. "Do I look like I should be in public?" You joke, trying to lighten the mood.

He follows you into the kitchen, smiling slightly. He leans against the fridge, looking at you with love and patience. "At this moment, no." He admits, making you laugh a little. "But I don't think you should sit here either. It's not good for you to isolate yourself like this."

You snort, feeling a surge of defensiveness. "Because you know what's best for me, more than I do?" You challenge him, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest. You feel guilt creeping in, but you ignore it. You don't want him to see how vulnerable you are. You roll your eyes trying to hurt his feelings by saying, "I don’t even want you here."

Rory knows better than to take offense to anything you say. He knows you’re hurting and refuses to believe you mean it. He stands up straight and walks over to you, his steps steady and confident. He rests his hands on your knees, staring at you with piercing blue eyes. "You can be mad all you want, but I'm not going anywhere." He says firmly.

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Why couldn't he just listen? You watch his fingers interlace with yours, and he gently pulls you off the counter. You follow him down the hall and to the bathroom. He closes the door behind the two of you, locking it so you can't make a sudden escape.

Rory makes you sit on the toilet seat, and you don't bother getting up. There wasn't any point in fighting him. You watch as he turns on the bathtub and fills it with your favorite bubbles that smell like lavender and vanilla. He closes the blinds as the water runs, creating a cozy and intimate atmosphere. He stands in front of you, bending down to meet your eyes. His fingers find the hem of your shirt, and he gently forces it off your body, pulling it over your head. He takes your hair out of the matted ponytail, a feeling of sadness washing over him when he realizes it's been quite some time since you washed it, let alone brushed it.

He doesn't say anything as he reaches his hand out to you, forcing you to stand. He looks at you with love and compassion, not judging or pitying you.

He helps you out of your bottoms and says nothing as he points to the tub. You nod subconsciously, knowing that he is right. You needed to listen.

You sink into the bathtub, feeling the bubbles caress your skin. You close your eyes and take deep breaths, letting the hot water soothe your muscles and nerves. You feel yourself relaxed, forgetting your worries for a moment.

Rory stands outside the tub, leaning against the sink. He watches you with a gentle smile, admiring your beauty and tranquility. He reaches over and grabs the shampoo and conditioner from the shelf, holding them in his hands. "How's it feel?" He asks softly.

"Better." You mumble, opening one eye to look at him. You see him holding the bottles and wonder what he plans to do.

He catches your gaze and smiles at you lovingly. "Wanna sit up and we'll wash your hair?" He offers, setting the bottles down.

You shake your head, feeling lazy. "I can wash my hair." You say, not wanting to move.

He chuckles, amused by your stubbornness. "I know you can, but I want to do it." He says, pouring some shampoo into his hands and rubbing them together. He leans forward and motions for you to come closer. "Come here." He says, waving you over.

You scoot closer to him, feeling his warm breath on your neck. He gently runs his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp and untangling the knots. You sigh in pleasure, feeling his touch and his care.

He rinses the shampoo from your hair and then applies some conditioner. He combs your hair with his fingers, making sure to coat every strand. He lets the conditioner sit for a few minutes, kissing your neck and shoulders, sending shivers down your spine.

He washes the conditioner from your hair and then turns off the water. The faucet stops, leaving only the sound of your breathing. "I know you don't want to go out in the world, and we don't have to." He says, grabbing a towel and unfolding it. "We can stay in and watch a movie, but I need you to not push me away." He pauses, looking at you with concern and sincerity. He watches you hit the drain, and the water starts to swirl down the tub. He helps you out of the tub, holding you steady and wraps another towel around your body, tucking it in the front just how you like it. "I'm here for you." He says, kissing your forehead and handing you another towel to dry your hair.

You follow him to your room where he hands you a T-shirt and shorts, letting you put them on yourself. He hops on your bed and pulls the blankets back, patting the spot beside him. He smiles at you invitingly, hoping you will join him.

You crawl in beside him. You lean into his chest, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you, holding you close. He turns on the TV, flipping through different movies until he finds one that you both like, and presses play.

Rory looks at you with a gentle smile and says, "I'm really proud of you."

You look at him, puzzled, unsure of what he means. "For what?" You ask curiously.

He kisses your forehead and says, "For a lot of things. But right now, for getting up, making coffee, taking a bath, letting me help you when I know you hate it. For being brave and strong."

You feel a lump in your chest and a tear in your eye. You hug him tighter, "Thank you."

He runs his fingers down your arm lovingly, and you continue watching the movie.

You feel calm and relaxed, safe and secure. Loved and taken care of. As fate would have it, the person you were pushing away was the one you needed the most. Maybe you weren’t going to feel better today and maybe not even a week from now but you knew with Rory’s help you’d eventually get there.

[engie-ivy]

(Already ten days into December, and finally, the first Wolfstar Christmas fic! Beginning with a simple fluffy Wolfstar Christmas Meet-Cute Get-Together!)

“Mum has evidently decided that you’re Sirius’ future husband. And oh my, she’s not holding back. I would tell her to cut it out had I thought that either of you was actually bothered by it.” James looks at Remus with a sly smile. “But I’m getting the sense that neither of you particularly minds.”

Remus turns his head to look at Sirius standing a bit further in in the room. Just at that moment, Sirius also turns his head to look at Remus. As their eyes meet, Sirius gives Remus a soft smile, which Remus returns.

As Remus turns back to James, he can’t get the smile off his face. “No,” he says, taking another sip from his mulled wine. “I don’t mind.”

Falling For You, Like Snow On a Christmas Night

(Wishes Come True - Duncan Laurence)

“Remus!” Euphemia Potter exclaims the moment she has opened the door, and immediately, she grabs Remus’ arm and drags him inside.

It’s the first time Remus is attending the Potters' annual pre-Christmas party here in Godric’s Hollow. Every year, the week before Christmas, Euphemia Potter will throw this grand party, and it signals the start of a week filled with the Holiday festivities leading up to Christmas.

That’s at least what Remus has been told, as he has only recently moved to Godric’s Hollow. He came here because he wants to be a writer, and the small, picturesque town seemed like the perfect place to write his book. Of course, he has to pay rent, so he works part-time in a newly opened local coffee shop. He gets along splendidly with the owner, Lily Potter, and especially with her husband, James Potter, who teaches Sports at the local high school. James and he have become good friends, and that’s how Remus met Euphemia.

Euphemia was immediately keen on Remus. The moment she heard Remus moved here without knowing anyone, she was determined to do everything to make Remus feel welcome, showing him around town, inviting him over for tea, having him join family brunches and family dinners, all of it.

Remus doesn’t mind. Quite the opposite. He loves Euphemia. She’s warm and welcoming, and a vibrant part of the community. She knows everyone in Godric’s Hollow, and everyone in Godric’s Hollow knows her.

“Come on,” Euphemia says, dragging Remus through the party, past all the party guests. “I have to introduce you to my son!”

Remus chuckles, wondering how many eggnogs Euphemia already drank. “I already know James.”

“Not James,” Euphemia replies. “My other son. He just finished med school, and has been working abroad, but now he’s back! And just in time for the Christmas celebrations at that!”

They reach the stairs, and Remus notices James coming down, talking animatedly with a man about their age. Remus inhales sharply at seeing that young man. Now, James is definitely a good looking bloke, but he is handsome like you don’t normally see in real life, like the model-kind of handsome. He’s tall and lean, with long, dark hair falling over his eyes with an easy grace. His features are delicate, but at the same time sharp. His eyes are especially striking, bright and captivating, the exact same light grey as the cable knit sweater he’s wearing.

“This is Sirius,” Euphemia says proudly. “My second son.”

Sirius looks down at hearing his mother’s voice, and those eyes lock with Remus’. Remus gives him a small smile, and Sirius’ mouth slightly opens. He misses a step on the stairs and tumbles down the rest of the way.

“He’s adopted,” James says, while pulling Sirius up from the floor.

Sirius gives him a stomp.

“Are you okay?” Remus asks worriedly.

“I’d be a lot better if you could just pretend that didn’t happen,” Sirius replies.

Remus raises his eyebrows. “What didn’t happen?”

Sirius grins. “I like you already.”

While everything about Sirius is just so perfect, his grin is anything but. It’s too large, showing too many teeth, and it’s slightly crooked. It’s Remus’ favourite thing about him.

Euphemia Potter is not good at being subtle. No, scrap that, she could be great at being subtle for all Remus knows. The case is that she’s absolutely not trying to be subtle.

“Remus, why don’t you sit here, next to Sirius?”

“Remus, I just asked Sirius to prepare some more extra snacks, could you maybe give him a hand?”

“Sirius, why don’t you take Remus outside to show him how nice the Christmas lights on the house look?”

“Remus, you look a little cold. Sirius, don’t you have a sweater he can borrow?”

Remus is standing next to the Potters’ impressive Christmas tree, sipping his mulled wine, when James appears next to him.

“Sooo,” James begins. “Mum has evidently decided that you’re Sirius’ future husband. And oh my, she’s not holding back.”

“Not really, no,” Remus agrees.

“I would tell her to cut it out had I thought that either of you was actually bothered by it.” James looks at Remus with a sly smile. “But I’m getting the sense that neither of you particularly minds.”

Remus turns his head to look at Sirius standing a bit further in in the room. Just at that moment, Sirius also turns his head to look at Remus. As their eyes meet, Sirius gives Remus a soft smile, which Remus returns.

As Remus turns back to James, he can’t get the smile off his face. “No,” he says, taking another sip from his mulled wine. “I don’t mind.”

“Remus, your favourite animal is a dog, right? So is Sirius’! Why don’t you two talk about that?”

It’s a bit awkward at first (“So, dogs are pretty great, huh?” “Yeah. Yeah, they are.”). But after that, they actually have a lovely conversation. It’s so easy and natural to talk to Sirius, time flies by.

Euphemia scrapes her throat.

Sirius and Remus look up from their conversation about their favourite Christmas foods (“Why ruin perfectly good hot chocolate by making it taste like peppermint?!” “I know, right? The only thing that should ever taste like mint is toothpaste! And, well, mints, I suppose.” “Candy canes?” “Disgusting.” “Thank you!”).

“James is going home with Lily, they’re having brunch with her parents tomorrow morning, and Fleamont and I are about to turn in.”

Remus looks around the room and notices for the first time that, save Sirius, the Potters and he, the room is empty. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise the time. I should get going.”

“Nonsense!” Euphemia insists. “We’ve still got a bottle of champagne left. It would be such a waste if no one drinks it. Why don’t you two sit down at the fireplace, drink some champagne, and continue your lovely conversation?”

Remus wants to argue that champagne doesn’t expire that quickly, but Sirius takes the bottle from his mother, and if he thinks it’s a good idea, who is Remus to argue?

Sirius effortlessly opens the champagne bottle, and, with a flourish, pours two glasses, all in one fluid motion.

“Smooth,” Remus chuckles. “Almost makes up for you falling down the stairs when I first saw you.”

Sirius grimaces as he sits down next to Remus. “I’ll have you know, I don’t usually fall so easily.” He hands Remus his glass, and their hands touch. Sirius purposely lets his hand rest on Remus’ and looks at him intently, before speaking in a soft voice. “Or so hard, so fast.”

Remus does kiss Sirius that night. He’s sitting in a beautifully decorated room, in front of a blazing fireplace, drinking champagne with a gorgeous man who’s looking at him like he’s something special, and well, Remus is only human after all. Sirius’ lips are soft, and he taste like a mixture of champagne and the Christmas cookies he’s been eating and Remus is dizzy with it.

He doesn’t take it any further, though, and not only because they’re sitting on Sirius’ parents’ couch. He doesn’t tell Sirius that he’s getting feelings for him as well, because he’s simply not sure. Maybe emotionally he is. He can’t stop thinking about Sirius and every mention of his name sends a flutter through his stomach. Yes, emotionally, he’s all in.

But Remus has always had trouble listening to his emotions. He rather thinks things through rationally. And rationally, he’s only just met Sirius. What if they’re just letting themselves get carried away because of the whole setting? The warmth of the fireplace, the buzz of the champagne, the Christmas lights reflecting in Sirius’ eyes? Will the feeling also be there when it’s a dreary Monday morning in January? Remus has nothing against a simple Holiday flirtation, but he won’t tell someone he’s falling for them if that’s all it is.

He does, however, want to get to know Sirius better, and luckily, he’s got plenty of opportunity for that the following week.

At first, it’s because Euphemia invites them both over for gingerbread baking (Sirius’ and Remus’ batches turn our inedible, probably because they keep getting distracted throwing glances at each other), Lily and James invite them both over for coffee and then brunch, and they all go to the Christmas Tree Lightning together.

“Do you know your face lights up like an actual Christmas three the moment you see him?”

Lily grins at him while they’re standing behind the counter of her coffee shop together, after Sirius just came in for a Holiday Special Cappuccino.

“I did not know that,” Remus replies, trying to sound unaffected. “Thank you for the information.”

Lily shrugs, still grinning. “Do with that information what you want.”

“If you hurt my brother, I will make you regret it.”

James crosses his arms over his chest as he gives Remus his strictest look. They’re sitting at the dinner table, after Lily has dragged Sirius into the kitchen to help with the food.

Remus raises an eyebrow. “You’re giving me the shovel talk now?”

“It’s just that I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. You better make sure you have the right intentions, Lupin.”

Remus sighs. “I’m trying, James. I’m trying.”

After a while, Remus and Sirius don’t need invites from others anymore to see each other. Remus hears that Sirius hasn’t had a hot chocolate yet this Holiday season, and he suggests to go hot chocolate drinking together. That’s when Sirius hears Remus doesn’t know how to ice skate, so he takes him to the ice rink to teach him, where Remus clutches onto Sirius’ arm for dear life the entire time and Sirius doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Sirius also doesn’t seem to mind that Remus is holding back a little, and doesn’t express his feelings. He doesn’t lose interest in Remus or tries to downplay his words about falling for him. Remus has known men who, when Remus didn’t instantly return their feelings, immediately backtracked and said they didn’t mean it anyway, they were just having a laugh, or trying to make Remus feel better, or doing him a favour. But Sirius stands by his words and Remus likes that.

He also likes their easy conversations, he likes Sirius’ passion for medicine and how clever he is, he likes that his own dry wit matches Sirius’ cheeky comments perfectly, he likes that awful grin that turns him from ethereal to human. He soon finds that he just really, really likes Sirius.

The day before Christmas, a fresh pack of snow has fallen. Lily, James, Remus and Sirius all go out sleigh riding, which Remus hopes will be easier than ice skating. As they walk towards the park together, James and Lily walking ahead and Sirius and Remus following, Remus steps on a patch of ice hidden beneath the snow and slips.

Sirius grabs his arm, and thankfully manages to slow Remus’ fall, but it’s just too slippery to keep him upright, and Remus slides down on his back.

Sirius moves his hand from Remus’ arm to wrap around his shoulders and help him sit upright. “Are you okay?”

“Remus!” Lily calls out, hurrying back to them. “Oh my god, what happened? Did you fall?”

Remus looks up in Sirius bright grey eyes, looking down at him wide with concern. “Yeah,” he says a little breathlessly. “Yeah, I did.”

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

♡Solitaire Quotes♡ (pt.2)

Click here for pt. 1

• Sometimes I like to fill my days with little things that other people don't care about. It makes me feel like I'm doing something important, mainly because no one else is doing it. (p.7)

• ..., I do not get interested in very many things, particularly not people,... (p.19)

• And what am I doing? Nothing. I have no idea what I want. (p.34)

• ... I am a terrible friend and a terrible person who gets jealous of my best friend for being everything I wish I was. (p.35)

• I need to tell you something, he says to me, eyes on fire. I absolutely need to tell you something. (p.47)

• What do you think? Are we friends now? (p.51)

• When I get back to bed, every single thing that you could possibly tjink about in one day decides to come to me all at once and suddenly theres a small lightning storm inside my head. (p.65)

• I instantly wish I'd just shut up. (p.73)

• I am in a trance. (p.82)

• ... Because sometimes I hear a piece of music and I can't do anything but sit there. (p.87)

• ... also because I fail to understand why someone with a personality like his would rake any interest in a misanthropic, pessimistic asshole like myself. (p.88)

• I don't want to talk to anyone. (p.99)

• Since when did nudity become so normal? (p.104)

• p.111, the whole page 111.

• I want to stop myself saying the answers, but I can't. I can't lie to him. (p.157)

• ... Michael has decided that he's coming home with me. (p.195)

• ... resulting in Michael snorting 'Oh my God' much too loudly. [...] I chuckled faintly. (p.197)

• That's — That's important. (p.208)

• I probably missed it. I don't know why I even tried, but I did. (p.208)

• I know I shouldn't be so surprised. I haven't even known Michael for three weeks. (p.211)

• I don't know any of that. I want to know. (p.213)

• 'Happiness', he says, 'is the price of profound thought.' (p.214)

• She pretends not to hear me and they walk off, laughing at nothing. (p.218)

• I really don't think things can be so bad after all. (p.224)

• I laugh, tears still falling, so hard that my stomach aches. Silly. Silly thought. Silly me. Nothing is ever about me. (p. 231)

[ssahotchnerr]

currently thinking about aaron reconnecting with an old friend he had back in college.

like, maybe they both met each other during their first year of college and they're both focused on the law path, but by senior year when aaron already has law school set up, reader takes a step back and decides she actually doesn't want to practice law. she still decides to finish school since she's so close to getting her degree, but she immediately enlists in the military once she's graduated.

and gosh i can totally imagine aaron and reader trying so, so hard to remain in contact because they got so close during their time in uni, but with aaron's time being taken up by studying and reader rising through the ranks it's get so hard

they're still able to send the occasional text, letter, and even a quick call here and there, but one day reader just stops responding. mail is sent back to aaron, calls are mysteriously dropped, and texts don't go through and he's just like, 'what happened' :(

flash forward years later to where maybe one day aaron is grabbing some coffee before going into work and on his way out he bumps into someone and at first he doesn't think much of it cause hey, it happens, but when the other person mumbles out a quick, "oops sorry about that!" his head just snaps up and he realizes that's it's you

and oh my god

the eye contact

the tension

everything

maybe reader stops him and offers her number yo explain everything (she got recruited into some secret task force and lost contact with practically everyone)

maybe aaron lunges forward and wraps her up into a hig because he missed her so much and he had always thought you were dead

maybe, just maybe, they're able to pick up where they left off and are perhaps able to *ahem* turn to a new page if you get what i mean (i'm cackling rn)

oh my gosh just the heartbreak </333 trying so hard to keep in touch- at first, it's easy. multiple letters every week, maybe the occasional call, and over time it just slowly starts to dwindle :( one letter a week turns into one a month, same happens to phone calls, and then it's just complete radio silence :(

and aaron tries so so hard to hold onto you, telling himself that one of these days, conversations will pick up like normal, things will go back to how they were used to be, and he stays hopeful for months. but once a year finally passes, and he still hasn't heard anything from you, he forces himself to move on :( he has no other choice, because it hurts and he doesn't want to put his heart through that any longer :(

but you often flash into his mind, all your past memories. your nights at school- studying in the library until the early morning hours, laughing over popcorn and a movie in his dorm room, you stealing all his college hoodies and him pretending he hates it when you do so- ugh but seeing you in his clothes smiling all teasingly at him- like HA whatcha going to do about it? :D ugh did things to him that he can't even put into words. that one kiss the two of you happened to share. he misses you more than anything, and you're classified as the one who got away.

and likewise, he's constantly on your mind. his dimpled smile, his laugh, his gorgeous brown eyes haunt you when you try to sleep at night. you would do anything to see him again, do anything to give him an explanation of why you disappeared and it wasn't intentional and you're so so sorry, but part of you fears that now that you're gone, he would want nothing to do with you. you still write him letters, you have a whole collection of them but keep them tucked away. it's all you wish you could talk to him about- what you've been doing, small things that happen during the day or cross your mind, countless ones explaining why you went quiet, your favorite parts about him, and how you've been so in love with him from the very very start that you don't even know what to do with yourself.

so then comes that day in the coffee shop. aaron is waiting patiently for his order to be made, you just got yours and are turning to leave, when you bump into him and he apologizes like he's the one at fault, the sweetest man :( the two of you make eye contact, realization hits, and everything just

stops.

both of you are speechless, and everyone else who was in the coffee shop seemingly disappear (aaron even completely misses his order being called) because the only thing you can do is focus on each other. it's almost like a dream, literally because both of you have dreamt about refinding each other, speaking everything that was unspoken into existence. but now that it's happening, neither of you know what to do.

the both of you move at the same time, throwing your arms around each other and not daring to let go. aaron's previous anger fills his chest up a bit - the anger that one day you were just gone, but he doesn't care in the slightest, because finally you're in his arms again. right where you belong. you're filled with a sadness too, because you know you owe him a reason, and you're a bit taken aback he embraced you to begin with, because he deserves to be mad.

ugh aaron mumbles "i missed you so bad" to which you reply "i can't believe it's you" <3333 before the two of you release each other. silence follows, because first, the two of you are still in shock. second, there's so so much that's unspoken and needs to be addressed. and again, neither of you can believe after so long, you've finally finally finally crossed paths again. and that you're both in love with each other.

aaron says something how he has to get going before he's late :( and you immediately offer your number, insisting that the two of you have to talk, which he wholeheartedly agrees.

hehe that very night the two of you get together for dinner, everything gets addressed, including the fact that both of you are completely and utterly in love with each other, even after all this time. and it's like the two of you were never separated to begin with, that nothing has changed.

the two of you finally get your blissfully happy ending <3