#i wish I could of made this gayer

[todayesterday]

i remember how last season’s promo was all about how this pirate show had a big budget and big LED screen and how everything was big and exciting! and now the promo is david saying “what the crew did with a small budget is incredible” and “we make do with what we have :D” like it’s a good thing. how did we go from being proud to have a big budget to this, you know? it makes me so sad

One thing I haven't seen a lot of talk about in the fandom so far is about the financials of this season.

It took us two whole months to get a confirmation of renewal from Max, and I talked at the time that I think there was probably a lot of heated negotiations going on at the time with contracts and that's why it took as long as it did.

I think we see a huge number of indications of the compromises that were made in order for S2 to be made. One obvious one that has been talked about is being making in in NZ instead of LA, to save $.

But there's also the eight episodes instead of ten. And then the cast aspect. One downside of moving overseas was having to fly out and house the cast, not just pay day wages.

We knew immediately about Guz Khan not coming back, losing Ivan as a character. At the time I was sad but I thought it had the air of a pretty harshly practical call. If you went through the main recurring cast and said okay which character will affect the fewest things, has the least character interactions of anyone? It would be Ivan. (With the only competition being The Swede IMO, but he's Stede's crew and therefore a little more central.)

And then this season started and we got first The Swede sidelined and taken out of major scenes. And then I noticed that different members of the crew were simply absent for long stretches, like Wee John isn't around for ep 5 at all. And then Buttons takes flight.

Lucius and Pete aren't at the party for most of it. Fang isn't in the torture scene. Roach and Fang aren't in the bar. Etc. SCHEDULING IS HAPPENING.

The new characters are almost entirely played by NZ local actors, which is great, but also...cheaper.

In other words there are big signs that they did everything possible to give us a giant cast of almost everyone we love from S1, and cool new characters, in the most economical way possible.

And I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful we got S2, and it looks great, and it's well written, I'm having a blast, and we get to spend more time with this awesome cast.

But I also kinda think it needs to be said that the cost-cutting shows. That it shouldn't have been only 8 episodes, the pacing is off. That we miss every time someone from the ensemble isn't on screen.

That despite what they've put on screen looking very good, there's far less costuming budget, there's less elaborate sets, and it's a little disappointing. And it's clear it's not a lack of will or talent or vision but blatantly lack of money.

Look, streaming networks want brilliant shows that people love (that will get them to subscribe) but they very don't want to pay anyone to make them. That's like, the whole moment we're having right now.

Max puts out promos about how great it is to not have unions messing shit up in NZ. Well I have friends who are union costumers in LA and guess what union costumers did amazing last season. This season, well, I guess Stede got three whole shirts, so that's cool.

So I dunno. It's just stuff I think about. I'm not trying to be negative about the show in any way. I'm extremely happy with this season; I love it more than well, possibly any show I've ever been in fandom for.

But I see you, Max. You're cheap. You weren't that cheap when you were called HBO.

[ineffable-rohese]

My spouse and I were discussing Aziraphale & Crowley over dinner the other night, as one does, and I was reminded that in the early days of Facebook there was a feature where you had a virtual pinboard, like the cork board next to your dorm room white board, and you could find all sorts of "pins" to put on it. The idea was your friends could visit your "wall" and see the things you were in to, as well as your status.

I definitely remembered being so excited to find Good Omens pins in the collection. "Gayer Than a Tree Full of Monkeys on Nitrous Oxide" was my favorite, of course.

I was, at the time, around 2005 or 2006, just a little bit obsessed with the book, and had been for years at that point. I'd only convinced a couple people to read it, all of whom thought it was enjoyable, but that was it. I felt a bit alone, but I also didn't imagine that fandom existed for books. (The existence of that FB pin should have clued me in, but it did not.)

Fast forward about 15 years, and the show came out, and I loved it. And still I didn't manage to find anyone who loved it like I did.

In the past year, I have been so overjoyed to find my people, to have someone to join with in tears and elation, in the nail biting waiting for renewal. And I'd been looking forward to the excitement of production news and poster releases and wild speculation and silly in-jokes and then madness of DT&MS press tours and finally the conclusion to the story we've loved for so long.

And then the news about NG broke, and it was like all of our hearts broke at once. And yeah, maybe the last season was still coming, but it felt tainted now. And people started pulling away, understandably, and I still had my people (and thank Someone for them, for real) but it got real quiet for a bit. And the stories and and art started trickling back as we all figured out how we wanted to engaging meaningfully in someone that was no longer purely joyful.

Then the pause and people freaking out and other people rejoicing and a slim thread of hope. Could they do it? Would Amazon put in the work to extract NG from the production? Is this story worth the effort to people who care more about profit than anything else?

It's looking like yes, as of October 15, 2024. And I love that the person who is renewing our hope is not an actor or a director or one of the "big name" credits. It's Mickey Ralph, who obviously loves this story as much as we do. Whose team hand wrote, in full, all of Aziraphale's mail. And recreated a destroyed antique sink that literally no one would notice. And painted the walls "va-va-voom" yellow. And named every puppet in the magic shop. And brought so much depth and love and life into the show, and made it real.

This story has always been about love. Love for friends, and family, and the people you are told you should hate, and the world, and humanity.

My dearest wish is that we can continue to celebrate that love together.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 17th November ✨

So so so excited by the return of Fawx & Stallion this week!! Here’s everything I listened to! 🎧

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (173) oh my goodness! So good to find out that the twins haven’t been separated again and that my favourite feathered friend is still adorably jealous. Percy’s partner sure is a litmus test, huh? Wow. I hope Diggory gets time to find just as much happiness 🖤 And that was a VERY strange and VERY suspicious conversation between Cole and Heather there… 

🔎 @224bbaker (11) “Surely not the Pound of the Baskerville’s Adoption Centre?!” had me HOWLING. So grateful to have this show back in my ears. I’ve missed these characters so much and I love the direction they’re taking with this season. PLEASE, now is the time to start listening if you’re not already in love with the show!

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (Bloopers) Hero’s bloopers are always a delight!! I too suffer from forgetting how to pronounce my own made-up words, it’s so validating to know I’m not alone. 

🧋 @hinaypod (23-24) Ew, why did Cornelius have to turn out to be such a creep? And the gasp I gusp at Ashvin calling Murphy jealous!! EEK. Oh NO, he knows!! But also can we address that everyone knows Donner is upset that Mari isn’t talking to him but he has not asked her why?? Mari, girl, I don’t want to say it, but you could find someone whose emotional maturity somewhat approaches yours… Not Abe though!! Bad idea!! 

🥾 @doyoucopypod (207-2088) Eeeeeek I simply don’t know how I’d live with the uncertainty of not knowing if the Dead Zone was literally growing inside me. I wish that Wilson had gotten chance to see Frederick in this ep 😭 Them talking about how they were supposed to be dead quite literally broke my heart.

🍾 @ameliapodcast (34-36) oh my goodness! So many huge reveals in these episodes! Oleg! Speaks! What!! Also I get about 3% gayer every time Amelia swears?? It’s not my fault, just a fact 🤷🏻‍♀️

🌨️ @whitevault (13) Go on, Dís!! Get them told! Also, HI documentarian! Long time no hear! I’m so scared by whatever is in that mine with Iffy. Why can’t it see her and what does that mean?! 

Have a great week, everyone!

[respectthepetty]

Hey :)

You are absolutly right about King being a walking green flag!

Can I ask you if you remember any other green flag - guys in bl? I tried to think about it but I almost only came up with Tinn and maaaybe Pat

Thank youu! :)

Anon, as I was compiling this list, I realized that most Green Flags are Blue Boys. Lesson to be learned here is get you a Blue Boy. I also noticed that BLs are doing a much better job of presenting non-toxic personalities when it comes to our queer boys, so there are A LOT of Green Flags roaming these global BL streets.

Since you already mentioned two of Greenest Flags, King and Tinn, I excluded them. I'm also not including the heteros like Takara-kun to Amagi-kun's best wingman Katori, To My Star's best CEO Kim Pil Hyun, To Sir With Love's best brother Yang, or Light on Me's bestest best friend Namgoong.

Honestly, I think this list is less about Green Flags and more about me appreciating my Best Boys:

Confident Green Flags

Chopper - Never Let Me Go

My Lamb Chop could do no wrong. For the first half of the series, I didn't even believe he could be so good, but he proved until the VERY END by not killing his dad that he was a good guy through and through.

Wat - The Eclipse

His friend group was doing the MOST every damn day, yet he stood by them and their boyfriends. He pushed them to examine their true feelings, was the easiest going of the cult prefects, and even gave his friends an alibi at the end when all hell broke loose. *He's with Namo in the upcoming book

Jin Xun An - My Tooth Your Love

He knows a good therapist. He knows boundaries. He knows what he likes. He knows he ain't got time for this bullshit. He knows things.

Korn - Cupid's Last Wish

This man deserves a damn medal for putting up with Win's bullshit. Oh, and then Win's MOTHER was the reason for their separation, yet Korn didn't want to divide Win's family, so he kept it a secret. People forget just how effed up Win's mom was. Korn not only had to deal with all of that, but when Win got his period, Korn did not hesitate to buy every single pad and tampon in the store, secured chocolate, and used a warm water bottle to help with Win's cramps WHILE HE HELD HIM IN BED. He is the best BL dad yet has no kids.

Cake - My Only 12%

This man was NOT a green flag until he figured out how he truly felt about Eiw, then he was a green flags parade. He told Eiw that if Eiw was gay, then he was gayer. He wanted to be out in the open to everyone immediately. He supported Eiw through his loss and constantly assured Eiw he wasn't going anywhere.

King - Hit Bite Love

Much like his fellow green flag, Wat, King's friend group had no chill. They even tried to murder someone, but our babyboy was giving nothing but hugs and love. He supported his friend when he came out, his mom taught him to practice safe sex, and he was willing to cover up for the murder. Oh, and he has a resume for love like another Best Boy, but not a confident Green Flag, Cherry Magic's Kurosawa.

Togawa - Old Fashion Cupcake

I was on the fence about him because he kissed Nozue on the cheek while he was asleep, but my hamster was just bursting with love for his longtime crush. Even when he was pouting with his bitter chocolate ass self, he was still trying to help Nozue, and that's what makes him a green flag. Even in his pain, he tried to help instead of harm.

Pluem - Ghost Host, Ghost House

Copy and repeat - Even in his pain, he tried to help instead of harm. He had reasons for being upset at Kevin's family and the way his life had turned out, but he took that anger, sat in it, then released it. He made his man food often. He also knows how to have sex of the homosexual variety, and was quick to let Kevin know. He is what Eat, Pray, Love wished it had been.

Mork - My Ride

He loves his gay uncles. He loves his gay boyfriend. He loves his nephew. He loves the food his uncles and boyfriend make him. He loves his life. Even when Mork had every right to be angry at life, he was never pressed. Instead, he took his guy to a local fair and was willing to take a bullet for him. What a guy!

Tangmo - Great Men Academy

I'm not getting into the mud about Great Men Academy's plot and if it's a BL therefore if Tangmo is a BL green flag because HE IS. Period. Baby was a prankster from the start, but once he saw how it affected Love, he gladly volunteered to be his mentor, was a good friend to Vier, took the competition seriously, but not to a toxic level like some..VIER...and told Love that he liked Love regardless of Love's gender. Period.

Thun - He's Coming to Me

If Korn is the best BL dad, then Thun is the best BL baby. He spent his entire life making friends with ghosts and helped solve one's death. He gave this ghost the life he didn't have a chance to live, and when his entire life was turned upside down, he still did the right thing. He also brought his (ghost) boyfriend to meet his mom, which 80% of the alive boyfriends don't even get in these BLs. Damn! He got his man in life AND the afterlife.

Mico - Hello Stranger

Mico isn't a green flag; he's a walking pride flag.

Homie was simply trying to pass his class in a pandemic and ended up getting stuck with the rude lazy jock. He was doing the Lord's work with Xavier all while trying to get both of them to pass the final presentation. Yet he was never mean to Xavier. He spoke to everyone with kindness, openly cried, and kept the heart light and plushie in the background of every Zoom call with NO SHAME!

Kim Jong Chan x Woo Seung Hyun - The New Employee

LOOK AT THEM! No words. Just feels. Lots of gay feels.

Amber x Pu Le Chien - DNA Says Love You

Like most Taiwanese pairs involving younger folks, they go well together with minimal toxic traits (see also About Youth), but what makes these two green flags was the understanding that went into their relationship. They both accepted not only who each other had become, but who they had always been, mostly to each other.

Ai & Nhai - Ai Long Nhai

Before you say "WTF?!" let me state that they are green flags FOR EACH OTHER and literally no one else. Nhai is a brat, but Ai needed that. Ai's mom is ridiculous, and we've seen many BL boyfriends run away after meeting such an opponent, but Nhai truly said "I'm not dumping your son, but I am gonna bully you, bitch!" and they lived happily ever after. I need more brats being green flags for the men who love them because someone has to tell the waiter the food ain't right and the parents to fuck off!

Bas - I Told Sunset About You

He deserved better!

I'm gonna leave it at that.

[ahsokasupremacy]

My thoughts on the new Ahsoka trailer that just dropped a few days ago:

Interesting, looks like it’s a race to find Thrawn. Maybe this is what the cast meant when they said the show could go on for another season?

“We are no Jedi.” Makes me think that we might actually get a pro-Jedi arc instead of Filoni’s Gray Jedi agenda? Or is that too hopeful?

Hera looks good! As expected, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is killing it and fits right into the character. Y’all are just haters

The green eye contacts are a bit 👁️👄👁️ though Kinda reminds me of the Miley Cyrus blue eyes meme

Hilariously enough, Hera’s lekku look way better than Ahsoka’s. Not her getting eaten up in her own show

Hera and Ahsoka interaction, 10/10. +++

Ahsoka looks a bit more like herself without the cloak covering her shoulders (sorry, I can’t recognize Ahsoka unless the guns are out).

I can kinda see what the actress is going for, and she does fit the vibes of battle-hardened Rebels Ahsoka. Still sorta wish they recast her with Laura Harrier though

ANAKIN mention had me going feral... please, Hayden Christensen, be in here for longer than five seconds...

“Just like I walked away from Sabine” WOW JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DON’T YOU

SABINE IS SO HOT AUGHSKMS I AM SO GAY

“You never made things easy for me…Master” GHFKSKSMKDKD??? CASUAL LORE DROP??? Does this mean we are getting Jedi Sabine?

Thrawn looks a lot better than I was expecting him to be in live action, thank god. Whoever decided to give him eyebrows? You are my savior.

SABINE CUT HER HAIR AGAIN AKSMXMDMDD I AM GAYER NOW

The evil guy namedropped Anakin personally? Okay… interesting, would like to find out how they know each other

Overall, super excited to see what the show will bring. Huge improvement in the Montrals prosthetics, and looking forward to see a women-centric Star Wars show. I'm calling it, everyone is gonna be Team Hera/Soka by the end of this.

[yangzhouman]

CLOUD STRIFE and the YAOI IDENTITY

[note: this is my slightly-edited submission to yaoi zine vol. 1: what was the yaoi that changed your life? organised by our beloved @tshirt3000. it’s 81 pages of nostalgia, poignancy, and really fucking amazing creativity, all about yaoi. i wrote about FF7, and the zine ranges from arthurian legend to currently-publishing webtoons and all the way back. it’s a real labour of love! and it kicks ass! please check it out here!]

what’s gayer than absorbing the identity of another man? doing it twice. i’m talking about cloud strife from FFVII, a yaoi icon who has carried fujoshi gamers on his shoulders for nearly three decades. i owe everything to him, and i’m sure my highschool friends wish his pointy polygon form hadn’t plagued my mind for all these years. sorry girls.

pretty much everything about cloud is yaoi, from his design to his character to his story. did you know the designers deliberately made him “less masculine” so that he could better rival sephiroth? direct quote. until this week, i didn’t — he was meant to have smooth black hair, but was given his defining blond spikes instead. sephiroth, with his long hair and his long sword, exists in deliberate, calculated comparison. it’s easy pickings for people looking for yaoi in a classic contrasting uke/seme dynamic.

but the previous design of smooth black hair and less ambiguous masculinity, now a contrast to cloud, still exists. it went to zack fair, who is notable as the first man that cloud absorbs. he’s the origin of it all in the truest sense: let’s begin with him. 

ZACK FAIR

the most important thing about zack is that he’s dead. it gets weird from here, because every time we see cloud, we see zack — in this sense, he is entirely defined by his connection to cloud, and by how cloud keeps makes space for him even when he really, really shouldn’t.

see, cloud believes he is zack. this is psychological and somatic: for a long time, cloud thinks that he is a soldier working for the megacorporation that runs the planet. but he isn’t. this identity actually belongs to zack fair, who truly was a soldier, and who died protecting cloud from that megacorporation. 

zack died for cloud. cloud becomes zack. this confusion of identity is borne both as a trauma defence and a grief response: cloud believes he is zack so thoroughly that he forgets zack exists, thereby removing that horrific memory from his mind while paradoxically ensuring that his friend is not lost forever. zack is safe within cloud. here he cannot be hurt. 

and cloud’s absorption of zack is total, taking on his mannerisms, his sword, even his skills and relationships. his style of fighting, his attitude to the world — everything. in doing so, zack fair lives on; it’s not zack who died, not if he is standing right here in a different skin.

i struggle to think of something more yaoi than subsuming another man into your being, other than gay sex. nothing says that zack and cloud don’t have gay sex, but it’s unlikely, as cloud is catatonic for a long time — it’s the reason why zack dies, protecting his vulnerable friend. the lack of physicality between zack and cloud works nicely though. there’s a desperation around cloud’s actions here, an unreasonable response to grief/loss/love that speaks of unfulfillment. zack and cloud’s relationship is all about uncrossable distances, and reaching across anyway. there is little response between the two: they can never reply to each other, only assume permission and act in the way they think the other would want. the other’s existence becomes cerebral, established in thought-space rather than physical-space. and the result is a loneliness so desperate it destroys. zack was as lonely as cloud; zack mythologised cloud too, dreaming of delivering him to safety so intensely that he gave his life to this fantasy.

cloud feels immense shame about his inability to save zack, and later on when he realises what he has done, shame about how he has treated zack’s memory. but i think there’s something here about cloud’s respect and love for someone who took care of him. zack is physically and emotionally stronger, openly affectionate and protective. by taking zack on as a mantle, cloud stays safe. by becoming his own protector, cloud embodies zack more truly than zack himself could manage. he understands what it is that zack truly dreamed of, and gives him another chance to be a hero. 

what i’m saying is: cloud did what zack wanted, though maybe in a more extreme form than he had imagined. i don’t even need the authorial stamp of approval, but i have it anyway — in the movie sequel ADVENT CHILDREN, zack appears in ghost form to support a struggling cloud. and his support is simply to ask cloud to repeat the final words that zack ever said to him, knowing that cloud will understand: “you’ll be my living legacy”. 

these words are imprinted on cloud’s yaoi identity. zack totally meant it as a wish for cloud to survive, but i love the weight of burden here: it sounds like something an overbearing parent would say. cloud subconsciously shapes himself around it. and i can’t ignore how it calls to trauma theory of living legacies, too, though i’m sure square enix didn’t mean to express the theory so textually. here trauma is not solely marked by scars, but by the emotions and behaviours that a person experiences afterwards, which grow and take life of their own. it’s about carrying your trauma around with you, and having it change you physically. as janina fisher tells us, trauma manifests in a person’s life beyond the event as “fear, shame, anger … startling, impulses to run or hide or fight, even against one’s own body”. zack had carried cloud’s body around with him, and the weight of it encouraged him onward to his death; cloud truly was his living legacy in that sense. but zack positions himself as cloud’s living legacy, which cloud’s body must carry not as a physical weight, but as emotion and behaviour that cloud cannot help but follow through. this kind of intense doubling-back and doubling-down is the kind of stuff that makes fujoshis crazy, by the way.

this fucked me up for years. i have always loved stories where important characters are already dead: it’s a style of writing that really impresses me, and i enjoy what it does to the remaining characters who have to live with that hole, or in cloud’s case, in that hole. the fact that cloud fills his hole with zack, and also himself, is so twisty and fun. forgetting and becoming a dead guy is fucked up — absorbing the man who died for you is fucked up. but i think zack would have been ok with it. and what’s better than two guys aligning in their fucked up views?

this brings us to sephiroth.

SEPHIROTH

if sephiroth had his way, cloud would also be his living legacy. he’s the most famous villain in FFVII, driven crazy by his mommy trauma and god complex, and cloud becomes his enemy because he keeps thwarting his plan to destroy the planet. he’s also the other half of sefikura, one of the most enduring and epic ships in the yaoi world. cloud has earned his place as a yaoi icon, and sephiroth is on the podium with him.

during FFVII, cloud pursues sephiroth. this is more than just plot — square enix built this dynamic into the game itself, and it was a resounding success within the industry and the genre. this pursuit mechanic involves looping back around the world map to find this villain in previously-explored locations. by updating the map with sephiroth’s presence, we get to feel his omni-presence in cloud’s mind. the pressure that sephiroth exerts upon cloud to think of him becomes more discernible, and more complex, in sephiroth’s response to being hunted by the protagonist: which is to remove any thoughts that are not of him. he turns cloud into his puppet — he forces his way into cloud’s mind on a psychic level, and imposes his own will onto him. chasing sephiroth makes cloud vulnerable; but he must keep chasing the bad guy. he must knowingly open himself to sephiroth because that is his role in the game; and we as the gamer behind him are pushing him onwards, making him dance on those strings again and again so that we reach the ending. becoming implicit in the roles of martyr and murderer is a heady rush that speaks to the success of sefikura in FFVII. we yaoify cloud. how fun is that?

here’s a quote from cloud: “i wasn't pursuing sephiroth... i was being summoned by sephiroth”. he’s being literal here. sephiroth is deliberately drawing cloud closer, forcing him to follow and find him, because he wants to, um, ‘form reunion’ with him. this is also literal. sephiroth wants cloud to be with him, but more importantly, he wants cloud to be him — to obey his commands, to align with his views, to be in total sync with what sephiroth thinks and feels. this part of their relationship is all about sephiroth: narcissistic to the bone, sephiroth’s obsession with cloud is rooted in how cloud continually pulls away from his call and rejects him.

cloud is meant to be sephiroth’s vessel, by the way. not immediately obvious, especially with the care that the designers took to make their visual appearances contrast. but it’s a really fun plot twist, and one that puts cloud’s identity crises into sharp focus. sephiroth’s identity has been forced onto cloud through medical trauma, with his dna inserted physically into cloud’s body, which turns his mental and verbal objections into something of a painful joke. he doesn’t want to be sephiroth. sephiroth sucks, and keeps killing his friends. but cloud’s body betrays itself, betrays him and keeps him from feeling secure in his own identity. there’s no part of him that he can cut out to get rid of sephiroth; and even after sephiroth is dead, cloud feels him. sephiroth is still in him. whose body is it, anyway?

i’ve made sefikura sound fucked up, and it is, kinda. but it’s easy to understand the hold that it’s had on fujoshi gamers. cloud doesn’t go quietly. sephiroth’s oppressive manipulation is what ignites cloud’s will to fight back. 

sephiroth’s insistence that he is the original, and cloud a copy who must submit, is the kind of crazy that appeals to me more now that i’ve come to terms with my leo sun star sign. i suppose it’s visually similar to how zack and cloud had existed, but in practice it is a more dynamic and charged relationship. like his mother before him, sephiroth is a virus: iterative, defined through the suppression of others and the subsequent displacement with himself. he exists only in this state of violence — is made real through it — and he doesn’t want to live in any other way. as derrida puts it, “as soon as there is the One, there is murder, wounding, traumatism. L’Un se garde de l’autre. The One guards against/keeps some of the Other. It protects itself from the Other… The One makes itself violence.”

sorry for putting french in front of you. this aptly describes and complicates sefikura, because actually, it’s cloud finding himself in that abjection of sephiroth. who is he? not sephiroth’s copy; not sephiroth. he is as much a One as he is an Other, and makes himself more of both as he rejects sephiroth. in that rejection he provokes sephiroth again, who must respond. it’s an equal relationship only through its dynamism, in the constant flux and flow of violence that they put each other through. there’s no real hope of reconciliation between them — they are on guard, always conscious of the power they hold over each other. it’s sustainable only if the two of them live forever, and cloud is the protagonist. eventually sephiroth loses.

sephiroth is measurably more yaoi than zack, by the way. zack has a girlfriend, for all that his character is defined by his homoerotic death scene. sephiroth has an obsession with cloud that follows him into the grave and beyond. in ADVENT CHILDREN, sephiroth somehow manifests into physical fragments in an attempt to resurrect himself — and when he does, he runs to fight cloud. (cloud fights alongside his friends, but always ends his fights with sephiroth alone: their relationship is unique.) it’s here that we get sephiroth’s yaoi line: “i will never be a memory”. once again, it’s the final words that cloud hears before sephiroth dies (again, and hopefully more permanently this time). 

i kinda like it more than “you’ll be my living legacy”. i think it’s more comically connected to living trauma theory: yes, sephiroth is in his nightmares, but he does keep physically appearing to haunt him. it ties in well with sephiroth’s narcissism, but also his place in the wider story as a lapsed war hero that cloud had, at one point, idolised. as a young boy, cloud had looked up to sephiroth and tried to emulate him; cloud had joined the army to be like sephiroth. in a way, sephiroth is more of the origin to cloud’s story than zack is. sephiroth’s fall from grace is something a lot of sefikura fans tap into, recognising the toxicity of that connection. all yaoi should have a healthy dose of painful, hilarious irony. 

i also like how in plain text it seems… relatively mundane? not normal, and definitely terrifying to a man recovering from his protagonist status. but also a little bit like sephiroth is cloud’s crazy ex who just can’t accept the breakup. that does trump zack’s parenting line for me. 

anyway, with sephiroth in place, cloud moves from a fujoshi’s delight to a fujoshi’s icon. it’s in sefikura that we see cloud at his most fierce and dynamic, which is hugely appealing. i think the stakes add rather than detract here, and the pain of finding yourself in/with a man who keeps killing your friends is very thrilling. as true rivals, sephiroth gets to transgress some of the barriers that kept zack from cloud through sheer force of villainy, and the intense mirroring between them is revitalising for cloud. sephiroth gives cloud purpose, defining him as an individual again — a One. that’s yaoi.

CLOUD STRIFE AGAIN

the thing is, i’m not sure cloud wants to be a One. not in the sense that sephiroth means it, anyway. cloud’s identity is a fractured thing, broken up by amnesia and survivor’s guilt and the burden of being a protagonist, but it’s deliberate. it’s a defence mechanism, as fredric jameson puts it, against the eroding currents of life that cloud must continue to run through. a poignant image for a broken midgar, and a textual experience, rather than theoretical, for cloud. yet his healing is not to discard parts that do not resemble cloud-before-the-game, but to try and make amends with what’s left — or rather, what’s there. the final third of the game is cathartic for cloud’s identity, when he reconciles the two truths of being neither zack fair or sephiroth. so, what happened to cloud? is he still there; if so, how does he find that part of himself again? or does he throw it all away and start again? no; cloud refuses to live in rejection any longer. he cannot exist parcelled away in the spaces between people, butting up against their edges. instead he starts to acknowledge and appreciate how they touch him. he is made through the interactions of their identities against, and with, his. cloud has always been there. 

in this way, i think he is yaoi. writing from the perspective of his ship halves makes him appear reflective rather than transformative, but in truth he absorbs. he is a space for other characters to go through (i am calling him a hole) and in doing so, those characters are different. it’s in that type of connection that cloud finds his identity, and i find that really beautiful. deleuze and guattari talk about how a fragmented identity shows an unfettered desire that is rooted in the current of life, and who craves life more than someone who keeps being denied it? refusing to cohere to a single, impenetrable ego is a choice, and it’s one that shows a determination to experience the present whilst not letting go of the past. it’s too hard to be done accidentally, and especially to do it twice. cloud’s showing us something here. 

he’s my favourite kind of protagonist, really. cloud resists the archetype of a lone(ly) soldier trudging on, because he keeps seeking out connection, be it for love or security or purpose. it is only in experiencing relationships that cloud can begin to make sense of his life. he can’t exist on his own. he needs to know someone, and they need to know him. 

and that, to me, is yaoi.

[now read yaoi zine!!!!]

[ingravinoveritas]

Crowley and Aziraphale always came off as romantic to me; both in the book and in the show. They have so much more chemistry than anyone else. And I always second guess me reading their relationship as romantic when I see the general public's takes. So then I go back over like, okay, if this was a man and a woman, how would this read. They do couple things all the time. They use pet names. The show leans more into pining but in the book it feels like they're already married. Both the narrator and other characters refer to them as a couple and its never contradicted. Is that subtext or just plain text. I wouldn't call it queerbaiting, but queercoding or representation doesn't feel quite right either. Are we reading too much into it or is media literacy dead.

Hi there! Thank you for sharing these thoughts in response to my post from the other day. What you've mentioned here (how this would read if it was a man and a woman) is something I have thought about as well--both in terms of Aziraphale/Crowley and Michael/David, as I have shipped them outside of the show for some time now, and especially given the increasingly fuzzy line between them and the characters (which both Michael and David themselves have talked about in multiple interviews).

I think what we're seeing is neither queerbaiting nor queercoding/representation, but instead a sort of incongruity between what was put on the printed page when Good Omens was first published and what was brought to life on screen when it came to TV. What I mean by that is I often see a lot of people point to the line "gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide" as proof (almost typed "poof" there--hello, Freudian slip...) that Neil/Terry meant for the characters (specifically Aziraphale) to be gay. But from what Neil has said, the main intention here was for this to be a play on words--so, "gay" as in homosexual, but also "gay" as in happy, which was the original meaning of the term. I'm then led to think that in the minds of two cishet men in the late 1980s, "gayness" conjured a particular, unserious image, which they then brought into the writing.

Fast-forward to thirty years later, and you have Good Omens finally becoming a television show. Terry Pratchett (Gnu) had sadly left us, and so the task fell to Neil to write the screenplay and honor Terry's last wish by faithfully adapting the story. And while Neil wisely decided to cast Michael for his goodness and angelic-like nature, what I think he didn't count on was Michael's long-held beliefs and ideas about the character of Aziraphale and how he would portray him, or his profound penchant for playing numerous queer characters over the last several decades. The gayness of Aziraphale on the written page was something that Neil could control, but he couldn't control the gayness of Aziraphale as interpreted by Michael.

So that led to Neil having to address some things that I don't think he was quite prepared to address, both about the show and inside himself. Mainly, that if we are to extrapolate that what we see in season 1 is a reflection (to some degree, anyway) of Neil's views on relationships, a straight couple with little to no chemistry can jump into bed together without any hesitation, but a gay couple with tremendous chemistry and who share a deep and profound connection can't express that, either physically or by simply saying "I love you."

Much discussion has been made about how it's not necessary for someone to say "I love you" to convey such a sentiment. But what I've noticed missing from this discourse is the age/experience of anyone who has been in a relationship where that wasn't said (or conveyed) by one partner and how painful that was for the other partner. And as I mentioned in my other post, even once gay/queer people started to exist in media, they still weren't allowed to fall in love. (The phrase "the love that dare not speak its name" even came into being because of this taboo, for crying out loud.)

So when we then look at the countless tweets from Neil about how Good Omens is a love story while considering the vastly different ways in which that love is regarded when it's straight vs. when it's gay, his words start to ring somewhat hollow. And if he repeatedly has to emphasize that something is a love story, then maybe it isn't coming across as a love story in the way he thinks it is. Maybe Neil being more comfortable with casual, meaningless sex than a deep commitment speaks to a larger issue on his part. Or maybe Neil was fine with the abstract idea of a gay love story, but suddenly less comfortable with the concrete, three-dimensional reality of it.

If I had to use a word to describe it, then, from a media/cultural standpoint, I think I would call it "queerplaying," which I would define as roleplaying queerness on a surface level without actually delving into the complexity and messiness of what it actually means to be a queer/non-cishet human being. (To be clear, I am applying this to the writing/the original GO text, not to what Michael and David ultimately brought to the roles as actors.)

I hope this all makes sense. Again, the second season could come out tomorrow/Friday and prove me completely wrong about everything I've just said here, which would be wonderful. But I'm glad that other people have felt similarly about what we saw (or didn't see) in the first season, and the disconnect between the perceptions of fans/the perception of the public vs. Neil's authorial intent. Thanks for writing in! x

[chaoticevilspacewitch]

just so your aware, most of things levied at Dillon Goo are... exaggerated at best, swapauanon saying that Dillon would "replace the entire crew with RWDEs" and "making everyone straight" or whatever is just an assumption based on the fact that he's an ex RT employee, is friends with Shane newville, and that's it. i literally asked Swapauanon for any evidence of Dillon holding any of opinions that they were accusing him of and they sent a answer linking back to a thread of one of their own asks sent to you for some reason, and then turned off reblogs of when a singular rwde poster found it (They also said that they "stumbled on it" even though they are the reason it started so ????)

i think Swap just thought "Well Dillon is friends with Shane, and Shane made The Letter, and some people who believe in The Letter hold these mostly unrelated opinions, so Shane and also Dillon automatically hold those opinions too" which is a fallacy

we don't even know if Shane truly hates M&K, most of the rage in The Letter was more directed at RT in general then them specifically, and even if did hate M&K at the time, it's been 8 years since he made The Letter and he's in a much better place mentally, maybe he's not even holding that grudge anymore, is that bridge burned or is there just water under it now? (i didn't bring up Dillon here because there is 0 evidence of him hating M&K personally i could find)

i do get why people are paranoid about the show's future and anyone trying to buy it, but fearmongering is not okay

(sorry if Swapauanon isn't okay with they/them, the blog doesn't have pronouns anywhere. if there is validity to anything Swapauanon is saying, someone please post tangible evidence. also sorry for wall of text)

Yeah I kinda realized after I reblogged that that I had stuck my foot into a much deeper quagmire than I was aware and wish I could take it back. I don't really know the who did/said what of the RT scandals and history, and as far as I'm aware no one seems to have incontrovertible receipts about good guys/bad guys. Maybe there aren't any such things here. *I don't know*

So I just want to say, for the record, that wherever RWBY goes, I want it to keep the direction it's been going, get gayer, and have everyone who works on it treated with respect and fairness. Whoever does that, I'm cool.

[samobservessonic]

To finish off, it’s the final part of Shortfuse’s latest adventure, where he’s set out to rescue Tekno from Robotnik. And wow, Robotnik sure is looking grumpy today!

This is kind of on Robotnik for asking his regular robots to fire at the robot he made out of the super metal

After easily taking out the troopers, Shortfuse turns his guns on Robotnik, who isn’t about to back down, no matter how hopeless he seems

Despite everything she’s been through, Metamorphia is still determined to save Robotnik. But Shortfuse is confident that he can take them both out before Tekno comes to any harm

Nah, but Tekno’s fine. She’s got this

Tekno certainly won’t be in the damsel in distress role for very long, not when she goes on to be the co-star of her own gay adventures in future

You know, if any of the current Freedom Fighters was going to pull the trigger on Robotnik, I would’ve thought it’d be Shortfuse. But nope, he opts to let Robotnik suffer by knowing that every defeat he faces at Shortfuse’s hands is his own fault. Robotnik only gets to live here because Shortfuse lets him

Aww, get outta here, you coupla kooky kids!

Metamorphia, now is really not the time. And, unless I’ve gotten my order of events confused, we’ll be seeing exactly how much it isn’t the time when we get to Metamorphia’s next appearance. Though she’s going to be M.I.A. for a while after this

But that aside, our duo get back to Tekno’s secret base, with Tekno offering Shortfuse that he could use it as well. He declines this, just like he did with the Freedom Fighters, preferring to work alone

Our story ends with the two parting ways and the reassurance that they’ll see each other again. Even if the situation and framing is different, seeing them silhouetted under the full moon like that does remind me of that scene in Archie where Bunnie & Antoine got together

However, Tekno’s future is going to be much gayer. Now we’ve had her introduction and the textbox promises us we’ll be getting an Amy solo story next issue, we’re heading ever-closer to the era of Amy & Tekno

So yeah, that was that! Obviously, I enjoyed this story, even if there were a few parts that suffered from being middle parts of a larger story. I also have to admit that there’s a lot of power-fantasy wish-fulfilment stuff with Shortfuse that I might find annoying when done with other characters, but I think he pulls it off somehow? We’re a long way off the existence of Shadow and with Bunnie being off-limits to StC, Shortfuse fills a niche that they don’t have other characters to fill in StC and he does it well. I always look forward to seeing what he’ll do next in his adventures Also, shout out to Tekno's reason for defecting really being that she got caught stealing supplies and not because of any sort of moral adjustment on her part. Love this for her

[mejomonster]

Okay look. I am reading Red White and Royal Blue. The movie, while in spirit in some ways has captured the same heart, is like Guardian cdrama to Guardian novel. I love them both and they're both a bit different experiences. But wow does it feel GOOD to watch a movie that makes me smile and my heart ache with things i relate to as well as happy moments I long to have. And on that note, a list of queer romance movies I recommend for cheering you up on a heavy day:

Red White and Royal Blue: theres a touch of realism in how it hits the heart, a heaping helping of fantastical with the premise of son of the president getting with the prince of england, a dollop of politics (which I've not seen in a romcom before much so I was happy for it, but if you want more get the book), a lot of loving references to the 90s kids generation in a way that makes this romcom hit in a way old 90s romcoms never could For Me be as close to home, and it's just <3 it's The Romcom for me.

But I'm a Cheerleader: gay conversion camp but make it campy, save the queers and help us love ourselves and accept we can be Whoever We Are (a message that applies to all watcher honestly), a very loving make love scene with violins that rwrb's scene reminded me of (in a good way, queer movies deserve more of this tbh), natasha Leone and Clea Duvall and Dante Basco (I'm gayer just reading that), and best of all? The cheerleader falls in love and her love chooses her back. This is THE first truly happy queer romance film I watched as a teenager, had a happier outcome than my own life at the time, and really made me believe I deserved happiness and good things and that I belonged to existing in this world as myself as much as anyone does. The overt queer politics in this film means it might hit too close to home if you're not up for that, but it's handled with humor (a LOT like rwrb handles politics) and so I'd say if you're looking for political and optimistic? This is another excellent choice. This will forever be one of my favorite movies.

DEBS: I especially recommend this to any queer teen girls out there, and any former teen girls who wished they had their own teen romcoms with lesbians growing up! It's like Agent Cody Banks meets Charlie's Angels, tonally it's Totally Spies and Teen Movie 100%, so it's silly and campy and nothing is ever actually horrifically serious and sad. A teen spy girl (our Charlie's angels for queer teen girls) falls in love with Lucy Diamond, the biggest Super Villian in the world. What ensues is falling in love, overcoming differences, overcoming heteronormativity, and friends loving and supporting you when push comes to shove. It is absolutely a fun action romance romp for queer girls. It's Charlie's angels if they were all gay and made for the queer girls to crush on Especially. It's delightful and lighthearted and fun.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 24: Scouting and Discoveries

Spoilers. Unending spoilers. Don't look.

We have the dice icon here because it's a Mat chapter. Not a lot going on luckwise, except a particularly chance encounter.

Two serving women came bustling with hot water and a tray heavy with food, laughing and telling him how much better he looked already, and how soon he would be back on his feet if he did what the Aes Sedai told him.

Mat is a rather compulsively defiant guy at times, so I don't think he'd like hearing this about any group, let alone one that he's naturally suspicious of.

Opening the door, he peeked out. More doors paneled in pale, golden wood lined the hall, with colorful tapestries between, and a runner of blue carpet ran down the white-tiled floor. But there was no one out there. No guard.

Probably best for Mat to learn now that just because there's no one around doesn't mean there's no guard.

She’s a pretty one, even if she does have her nose in the air half the time.

Thus was born both the more straightforward fandom polycule where the various canonical romances take place but also Mat and Elayne hook up, and the gayer one where Mat joins the polycule (often outright replacing Min, since I guess his losing an eye makes him a better fit for the crone). I'm not a shipping type but I could see it I guess.

As they worked they talked and laughed among themselves like men after the harvest. Now and again one of them looked curiously at Mat as he strolled among them, but none challenged his right to be there.

Mat does not clue into the fact that he's interesting to them because they all know who he is and how unusual his circumstances are.

“Whitecloaks do be poking their noses into every village for ten miles. They have no hurt anyone yet, but them just being there do upset the folk. Fortune prick me if I do no think they wish to provoke us, for they do look as if they would attack if they could. No good for anyone who do want to travel.”

This guard almost certainly has the right of it. The Whitecloaks would love an excuse to scream about Aes Sedai brutality.

But you do have the look of the fellow who did try to sell me the Horn of Valere three days gone. So he did claim it did be, all bent and battered as it did be. Do you have a Horn of Valere to sell?

If Mat could sell off his connection to the Horn, he absolutely would.

He had simply meant to find out how well his description had been passed around. If only the officers among the bridge guards had had it, he might have been able to slip by. He had always been good at slipping into places unseen. And out. It was a talent you developed when your mother always suspected you were up to some mischief and you had two sisters to tell on you.

If you think this is oddly bad luck on Mat's part, it isn't! It's good luck that he didn't have a chance to try and sneak out across the bridge or he would have missed Thom altogether and would never have made it to Caemlyn or Tear in time.

A girl in novice white appeared ahead on the path, striding purposefully toward him. Wrapped in her own thoughts, she did not see him at first.

No, it's Lanfear who's having bad luck, because this is her in disguise.

Her manner was not as he remembered, either; he thought she could give Elayne lessons now. “I have . . . work to be about. Let me by.”

Lanfear's surprisingly bad at this. Of course, she probably picked Else on the grounds that no one would know her all that well or care if they saw her.

He was not the only audience. Not ten paces from him, half a dozen women with ageless Aes Sedai faces and as many more in the banded white dresses of the Accepted stood watching one pair of students, bare to the waist and slick with sweat, under the guidance of a Warder shaped much like a block of stone.

Get a grip ladies! It's just two sexy and half-naked twenty-something dudes beating the shit out of each other- Excuse me. I need five minutes.

The golden-haired man met every lightning attack, turning it away before the bound strips could strike him, and even launched an occasional attack of his own. But the handsome fellow countered those attacks and flowed back into his own in the space of a heartbeat.

This ends up being foreshadowing for who survives the Demandred duels and who doesn't, I suppose.

“You can rest till I finish my pipe. But rest fast; I am almost in the dottle.”

"Dottle" is the stuff left over in the pipe after you've smoked; the ashes and anything that didn't fully burn.

Egwene blushed whenever Galad was mentioned, though she seemed to think no one noticed.

Another orphaned reference to the intended man Egwene would end up with.

“I do have a sense of humor, Gawyn,” Galad said with a frown. “You only think I do not because I do not care to mock people.”

I wonder who it is that Gawyn tried to mock with Galad. Of course, since the answer is ultimately, "the palace staff or the people", it doesn't paint a great picture of Gawyn regardless.

Perhaps it was that they both clearly thought he was making a wild boast. Perhaps it was because he had mishandled questioning the guardsman. Perhaps it was because Else, who had such an eye for the boys, wanted nothing to do with him, and all those women were staring at Galad like cats watching a jug of cream. Aes Sedai and Accepted or not, they were still women. All these explanations ran through Mat’s head, but he rejected them angrily, especially the last. He was going to do it because it would be fun.

They're all true. Mat does want to have fun because he's feeling so thwarted and cooped up, he's jealous of the positive attention the boys are getting, and he wants to show off.

The Warder eyed Mat up and down doubtfully. “Are you sure you’re up to this, lad? Now I take a close look at you, you ought to be in a sickbed.”

Hammar might be down to shame the fuck out of these princes, but he's a good enough guy that he doesn't want to send Mat back in for more Healing if it can be helped.

Hammar gave him an odd look. “You speak the Old Tongue, lad?”

Mat's subconscious Old Tongue usage treats this practice fight as exactly as serious as a pitched battle against Trollocs and that's fucking hilarious. Also I'm pretty sure that this is the first usage of Mat's catchphrase, "Dovie'andi se tovya sagain," except of course we only get the translated version this time.

Galad hesitated a moment more before growling, “Done, then. Let us put an end to this farce.”

Even Galad has a point where he won't stick to his niceties.

But he could feel it creeping back in, the wobbly feeling, the hunger as if he had not eaten for days.

The Wheel's pretty clearly trying to teach Mat not to be the hesitant type, considering how many circumstances he's going to end up in later on.

With a groan, Galad folded over, fighting not to fall. The staff quivered in Mat’s hands, on the point of a final crushing thrust to the throat. Galad sank to the ground.

Again, Mat is taking this fight far more seriously than he really should be. Normally he's not the guy who has trouble restraining himself against opponents he shouldn't be killing.

“During his lifetime, Jearom fought over ten thousand times, in battle and single combat. He was defeated once. By a farmer with a quarterstaff! Remember that. Remember what you just saw.”

This theme that nothing and no one is truly unbeatable comes up a bit in Jordan's work - Rand might be the Dragon Reborn and the savior, but that doesn't mean he'll win all his campaigns, the Seanchan's Ever-Victorious Army runs into its own problems, everyone who gets into combat runs into someone who can kick their ass.

“Not as good as my da. He’s won the quarterstaff at Bel Tine every year as long as I can remember, except once or twice when Rand’s da did.” That interested look came back into Gawyn’s eyes, and Mat wished he had never mentioned Tam al’Thor.

Mat will never learn to control his tongue, even though this is a great object lesson in why he should. I don't think the Wheel was trying to prep him otherwise though, more like giving him a foreshadowing of the problems that will haunt him all his launt.

“It doesn’t matter. Just rest assured that the worst Galad has to worry about is finding himself Warder to a Green Aes Sedai before his head clears.” He laughed. “No, they would not do that. But I will wager you those two marks of mine in your hand that some of them wish they could.”

This sets up how messed up it's going to be when Alanna takes Rand as a Warder, though Gawyn is rather flippant about it. He's in the right demographic to be flippant about sexual assault though, so that's just in-character.

“Manetheren.” Mat froze when he heard the name come out of his mouth. “I mean, I’m from the Two Rivers. I have heard too many old stories.”

Considering that Mat probably recently had a different life in Manetheren... Ah well. Boy couldn't even control his mouth if he wanted to.

[nerdynanny]

hazbin/helluva world aziraphale hcs

under the cut, be advised this is my ramblings of aziraphale and crowley in the hh/hb universe. if you're not keen on this fandom, this post should be tagged appropriately. this au is still wip so this post will be added to over time.

i've just been playing this angelic himbo for so long these hc's should seem true to character, so enjoy the little references to the original canon that are made.

maybe i'll design and make these two as 3d models?

azi is probably the only angel that lucifer might like, given he helped out in eden as best he could and all that.

crowley hates adam with a burning passion. they become a woman in his presence just to intimidate and spite him. aziraphale does not see this. he just likes crowley for whoever she is.

opes they prevented the apocalypse once. [lucifer thankful??]. now both are renegades. luci offers to house the two in the pride ring, masquerading as human souls. azi, who is terrible at lying, opens a book shop in the cannibal colony. he's given safe haven there because he adheres to their period attire rule. he loves it there and knows almost everyone by name.

susan likes him. susan. likes azi. she doesn't seem to care much for crowley, but azi is the only person she seems friendly to. he often has her over for tea and book club. he might be the only reason she's not been removed from tea and book club.

seriously he's adorable in this universe. i must make this happen-- i must design the wholesome boy. he pretends he was a criminal and hosted a speakeasy in the 1920s. other demons seem to vouch for him and his reputation as a businessman no one seemed keen to cross. crowley masquerades as antony, his bodyguard and secret lover.

azi doesn't even bother hiding who he is, but no one seems to comment on it. it's this unspoken thing-- 'we don't out the obvious angel in our midst he seems chill'. and rosie often chats with him about his relationship.

he is known to be gayer than a tree full of horndogs on the set of an angel dust porno. he's happy to lend an ear to customers, and no one really buys his books anyway. he basically runs a glorified library. he seems to have no drive outside of spending time with his partner, antony.

most demons know who crowley is. they do not wish to fuck around and find out. crowley and lucifer are close, apparently. and he's protective of his angel.

crowley also adheres to period attire, but is still very slouchy. he's been presenting male for a while now and seems quite comfortable walking the line of androgyny. crowley is a menace to anyone who crosses him and owns several billion souls [not that aziraphale knows].

they are given a wide berth during extermination. his bookshop, despite being 'sinner owned' seems to be absolutely untouched every year. he'll often offer safe haven to those whose businesses are around his.

susan gets shelter.

fucking susan.

[grindel-elf]

"The grass isn't always greener but it could certainly be gayer." ~ This quote came out of a conversation had with some friends about the pros and cons of moving. Living in North Dakota with the brutal, transphobic legislative session we recently had has made moving a hot topic for me and my husband. Everyone's journey is different and you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Sometimes that means making a pilgrimage to gayer lands. Sometimes that means becoming a steward of your own little gay garden wherever you already live. Pride kicks off in 3 days and I just wannna wish everyone in the community a sublime time this June. You are uniquely you and YOU ARE DIVINE. 🏳️‍🌈 Image Description: Digital art depiction of a summer evening. The moon shines in the left-hand corner. There are green fireflies floating around a quote in purple font that reads "The grass isn't always greener but it could certainly be gayer.". Below the quote is stylized grass with a rainbow gradient evenly coloring it.

[anomaly-hivemind]

The Gaymer Chair

Part One

Warning(s): why did i write this, porn without plot, masturbation, mildly dub-con, inanimate object porn, original non-binary character, dry humping, grinding, porn watching, internal monologue, crack treated seriously, vaginal fingering, toys, knotting dildos?, edging, android, oral(everyone?) overstimulation, dacryphilia if you squint, vaginal sex, praise kink,orgasm denial, orgasam control, brat, brat tamer

Summary: What do you do when you fall for the sexy ghost of your pastel gaming chair?

Part Two

Credit to @cafekitsune for the banners!

Chapter Two || The Gayer Chair

Wjian laid out on her bed as she scrolled through her phone searching for any answer.

“Wjian would you put your phone down for one minute, I told you not to worry about it,” Chaise said as they floated in the air next to Wjian. 

Wjian’s eyebrows furrowed and she huffed before flopping back into the pastel rainbow fluff that covered her bed.

“Ugh! It’s just frustrating. Like you’re here with me but you’re not here. It’s- like what if you disappear one day?”

“Mon Chou but that’s the thing I’m not going anywhere-

“But what if you do! What if you disappear and I never see you again!” Wjian cried out. Tears burned in her eyes and her fingers dug into the fuzzy fabric of the comforter.

“Aww Mon Ange are you in love with me or something?” Chaise asked teasingly, floating closer to her so they were eye to eye.

“Yeah I am, asshole. I’m trying to be serious here.” Wjian said her face flushed with color.

A warm for a dead person, and a lovesick grin came to Chaise’s face at Wjian’s words before he lowered himself to look in her eyes.

“Look Wjian, I love you a lot okay, and I really appreciate you trying to find a way to get me a physical body; it’s my greatest wish to be able to hold you in my arms and kiss your cute face. But it looks like it just isn’t possible and I don't want you to run yourself ragged. I want you to enjoy your life to the fullest.Because i sure couldn't,”

“I want that for you! I just need to find out how.” Wjian laid on her bed silent, twiddling with her bracelet as she tried to get any ideas. The dangling charms made soft chimes and they brushed against one another.

 Wjian suddenly shot up from her spot. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, her bare feet meeting the soft fibers of the “my melody rug” she had placed down. Wjian walked over to her desk with hurried steps, swinging out the iconic pastel chair with eagerness and hastily flopping down on the flower cushion. Chaise drifted close behind her, eyes wide in curiosity.

“Wjian what are you doing now?” she looked up at him with a grin.

“I think I have someone that can help give me some ideas.” she clicked on the discord icon on her screen. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that the person she needed was online. She clicked their profile and typed a quick message. 

Yoo!LANDRY I need you to ask you a question, stop talking to your MoMMy for a sec.

Just ASK the Quwstion then!

Oh… so if were to want to give a ghost a body how would u dothat.

Idfk is this a sex thing?

No… 

Maybe a lil but thats not the point what could i use as a “vessel”?  

A robot maybe or just one of those life size anime sex dolls.

YOu really are a genius!<3 you can go back to getting e-FUCKED  by your Dommy mommy XD 

Shut up, have fun with you sex toy! <3

THANKs.:)

“Is your plan to make me a sex toy?” He gave her a smirk.

“Nope, I got an even better idea.”

“That being?”

“I'm going to call my rich cousin to see if he can whip you up a body.” Wjian gave him a large smile before running over to grab her phone to make the phone call.

==============================================================

A black unbranded truck pulled up in front of Wjian’s home. A bald man walked out of the truck and pulled the rear door. Wjian expectantly walked outside to greet the man. Wjian’s mother walked to her open front door, so she could see what her daughter was up to. 

“Is that Paul?” her mother spoke, her voice prompting the man to look up at her. When the man looked up at her, he gave her a small wave which the mother returned before walking back inside. 

The trucker handed Wjian a clipboard and told her to sign. She skimmed through the text then took the pin and signed her signature. The man took the board and threw it into his open window. He gently dragged the box out of the side of the truck, he placed it on the ground carefully and placed his hands on his hips, his chest heaving with labored breaths.

Wjian thanked the man who wheeled the large box into her house. Even though he was obviously out of breath by the end of bringing it in. Wjian slowly pushed the large box into her room.

The box was almost a foot taller than she was. She grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the box up as if she was opening a holiday present. Inside the box laid a tall, lean body. Their rich, dark brown skin had a nice healthy glow, like they had been recently moisturized. Wjian smiled as tears brimmed in her eyes; she couldn’t believe that Chaise was actually standing in front of her, her Chaise, in physical form. The android body was perfect from the soft curves in their face to the bouncy black curls. Wjian looked up at the Chaise who had been floating above her while she opened the box. He looked down between the box and Wjian astounded. 

“Do you think… will this work?”

“I sure as hell am going to try.” 

“Promise you won't just disappear.” She looked at him with hopeful but worried eyes. He gave her an uncertain look but nodded anyway. He drifted into the android and his translucent body vanished. The room was filled with eerie silence.  

Wjian clasped her hands together, rubbing them slightly as sweat formed between them. Come on… Come on!

Chaise’s android body then whirred to life, their eyes fluttering as they leaned forward and stumbled out of the box.

“Chaise?” she leaned closer into the android body.

“Oui, Mon cher?” Chaise smiled.

Wjian carefully reached out her hand and gently caressed the side of their face. They were cool to the touch but not cold, and their skin was soft just like how it looked. He leaned into her warmth as if he was trying to steal it from her. He placed their hand on top of hers. Their eyes meet each other; their faces grow into smiles as they lose themselves in each other’s eyes.

==============================================================

Chaise had fully gotten into the groove of using his android body and stopped touching himself like he was a new car that is. Took them a full month to work it the way he would any human body, minus needing to eat even though he likes to snack, and needing charging but depending on which port he uses he can look like any person sleeping. 

Chaise and Wjian laid on her pastel comforter enjoying the presence of them close to one another. Chaise pulls Wjian to themself, he breathes deeply into her neck even though he didn’t need to. He pressed a faint kiss against a sweet spot on her collarbone.

“Mmh… Mi Tesoro,” Wjian called gently to the android lying against her chest.

“Oui?” 

“Will you try on your new clothes for me?” She asked massaging her fingers against their scalp.

“But mon ange, I’m so comfortable here in your arms~” Chaise said, squeezing her closer to them.

“I wanna see you look even cuter than you usually do! I just want to spoil you querido~” Wjian whined. 

“Mon Chou-”

Before he could finish Wjian pressed a kiss to Chaise’s lips. Their lips join in an enamored kiss, taking up each other's space in a fervor of loving emotions. Chaise held her chin gently in the kiss enjoying the moment as if it were his last then pulled away.

“Okay I’ll give you your little fashion show.” Chaise sat up and turned to face Wjian, holding her face in their hands as they peppered kisses across her face.

Chaise pressed one last lingering kiss to Wjian’s lips then walked across the room to the rack where all the new clothes Wjian had bought were located.

When his new body came, they had nothing but the scrubs they came in along with two extra pairs. Fortunately Chaise didn’t have to keep wearing them after they finished the set up process of their body, as Wjian’s generous benefactor cousin had sent some money to buy a wardrobe and accessories. Albeit they did send way too much money, Wjian had fun picking out clothes with Chaise so that was all that mattered to them.

Wjian had gone a little overboard with it though…

After buying clothes, shoes, and accessories in person they also bought hair dye so Chaise’s hair could look the way it did when they were a ghost; why the factory that made his body couldn’t do it they’ll never understand, Wjian had requested it after all. 

When seeing how cute he looked Wjian insisted that they took pictures for her socials, then that they have a photoshoot to commemorate the occasion, so then she had to buy matching clothes. Then on an impulse she ordered even more clothes and accessories online.

“Okay let's see what I haven’t tried on yet. Chaise pushed back their fresh locs, gathering them up into one hand and wrapping them securely with a pastel pink satin scrunchie.

After browsing through the large selection of clothes on the rack they decided on a pair of light washed overalls with cute patches and a cropped pastel pink, yellow, and blue striped sweater.

Meanwhile on the bed Wjian scrolled through her favorite clothing store’s app to buy even more clothes, this time for herself though. 

Their was a family reunion coming up and they were going to be staying at a five star resort. It would be the first time Chaise would be seeing her in a swimsuit and it would be the first trip they’ll have gone on together. Even if her family was their; she had to make sure she had a cute bathing suit for every day of the week.

Wjian looked up from her phone to see Chaise slipping out of the pastel robot sweatshirt and light blue shorts they wore.

“Ooh I think I like this outfit the best! Really sexy amor~”

“Haha very funny,” Chaise said, jiggling their legs to get the overalls on. They slipped on the sweater and snapped the buckles before bussin’ out a few poses.

“So? Have I… Captivated you Mon Amour?”

“Yeah you’ve captured my heart.”

“Tell me more, I didn’t know I did that~” Chaise teased as they walked ever so closer to Wjian.

“You were already as pretty as can be, then you put on those clothes and your hotness has been elevated to new heights. My heart was pounding so hard it broke out of my chest so it could belong to you and only you~”

“How Poetic, but that sounds painful Mon tendre, are you alright, I wouldn’t want you to die because of me,” Chaise knelt in front of her on the bed, taking her hand in theirs and trailing kisses upwards.

“I’ll be fine, your beauty heals me,so keep it.” she shrugged 

“alors je protégerai ton coeur pour toujours” he planted a  kiss on her knuckles. 

“You better” 

“Do I really look that splendid, Mon étoile?”

“Why of course. You really do look good in those clothes, but you would look even better on top of me,” Wjian smiled

“Oh. If you wanted me that’s all you had to say. I should’ve known a cockwhore like you only wanted one thing.” Wjian giggled, wrapping her arms around Chaise’s neck as she leaned in for a kiss.

Pulling each other to deepen their embrace; chests pushed against one another as they kissed. Wjian’s heartbeat sang at a fast paced rhythm as she slid under Chaise’s body. He leaned over her kissing between her lips and jaw. 

Wjian let out a pleasant sigh as she enjoyed the feeling of him actually touching her and pressing on her skin. Chaise ran their fingers across her stomach then stopped to rest at her waist. 

Chaise started to trail themself down her neck, switching spots on her with open mouth kisses. He licked a long strive along her collarbone. Making Wjian shiver and wiggle closer to him. She pushed her legs together for some friction but Chaise pulled her legs apart and placed himself in between her. 

“You’ll get to feel good when I let you feel good. C'est compris!” He bit down on her shoulder, leaving a faint forming mark. She nodded slowly while trying to keep herself from pressing her legs around him.

Wjian trailed her fingers on Chaise’s smooth skin as he marked her upper chest. His once coolish skin had a slowly growing warmth.

“mmHm…” Wjian let out a faint whimper as she craved more action; lightly tugging at his arm to her chest.

“What, does my Salope want more attention than what I am giving her?” He gropes at her breast, making her arch into his touch. He moved his leg forward into her, making her squirm. 

“If you don't say anything I'm going to keep doing what I want.” They removed their hand from her chest and smirked against her skin when she whined. 

“Please, I want you…” Wjian whispered out in a shaky voice. 

“What have I told you about not speaking up?” He scolded her and sat up off the bed and looked down at her. 

“I want you to touch me, I want to feel you in ways I couldn't before!” Wjian half shouted her waterline glistened with specks of salty tears. 

“que c'est chéri” he pulled her by the legs to the end of the bed. A smirk formed on his face as he crouched down between her thighs. Chaise kissed between her thighs trailing up to her waistband and sucking on her exposed midriff before they took the waistband of her leggings in between their teeth, pulling on it slowly.

Wjian struggled to hold in a giggle as Chaise waggled their eyebrows at her.

“Amor, come on you’ve gotten me all hot and bothered,” Wjian pouted.

“Good things come to those who are patient, Mon Chou,” Chaise smiled as they hooked their fingers on the inside of Wjian’s waistband before tugging them off and flinging them across the room.

Now in clear view Chaise could see Wjians soft pink panties. The material was sheer with little flowers embroidered and lace trim. 

Chaise leaned forward trailing small kisses up her thigh then stopped to stare at Wjian as he teasingly smiled at her. 

“You have a mischievous glint in your eyes. Why are you looking at me like that mi carino?” Wjian asked nervously, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Ma Cherie, your lustfulness always surprises me.” Wjian laughed nervously at Chaise’s comment as she rubbed her bare thighs together and turned her head to avoid his gaze.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know you planned on getting some from the start, these aren’t the same panties you had on this morning; didja think I wouldn’t notice?” Chaise asked, a wide grin sitting on their face

“You- you must have seen wrong, I’ve had these panties on all day.”

“Okay! But remember bad girls get punished~”

He ran his flat tongue up at her through her panties. Swapping a small circle over her clit. Saliva making a quick mess of her lingerie bottoms. Chaise held on to Wjian’s legs to keep her from wiggling about. Wjian's head lolled back into the edge of the pillow. Just as she was fully enjoying the sensation of his tongue he pulled away. 

“Eh- What? Hey~” Wjian whined, a pout forming on her face.

He let out a chuckle at the frazzled look she had when she looked down at him. 

“You wanna Tell the truth now?”

“Fine, I changed them when you were charging earlier! I may have been on reddit and gotten a little horny; but like today is the perfect day for us to break in your robo-cock and I wanted to dress for the occasion.” Wjian let out with a huff, her hands making wild gestures as she talked.

“Good girl; see that wasn’t so hard was it, now it’s time to reward my cute little slut.” Chaise grinned before leaning back down to eye level with her soaking arousal.

They pulled off her lingerie bottoms with his fingers. Pressed himself fully between her legs again. He rolled his tongue over her entrance causing her to let out a small cry. He slurped up her juices making obscene squelching noises that filled the room and likely the rest of the house, luckily they were home alone.

“A-aah Fuck that feels so good,” Wjian moaned, her thighs clamping around Chaise’s head.

“Divin goût ” Chaise groaned against her warm cunt, making her whole body shiver with ecstasy. 

He sucked on her clit making mini shapes in his mouth as he did. Wjian made short high pitched moans as she pulled Chaise closer to her cunt. Her fingers tangled in between his locs, wrapping her legs around his head. He slid his finger into her soaking pussy slowly pushing the digit along her walls. 

“More~”

“More what?” Chaise asked, pulling their finger out and brushing it up and down against her entrance.

“More fingers, please, mi corazon?”

“That’s a good little whore. I suppose so since you asked so sweetly.

They added another finger into her weeping heat and swirled his tongue in mixes with in hand movements. Wjian’s body began to tremble as she got closer to her climax. 

 His movements slowed down to almost stopping as he felt her tighten around his fingers resulting in a breathy whine. His eyes met with Wjian’s teary ones as she huffed out a half sob.

“I could use a bit of motivation chérie” 

“Please…” she pants  out. 

“You gotta be more convincing than that.” he speeds up for a moment then stops completely. 

“Please, Déjame terminar please i'll be good…lo juro!” she begs out to them. 

“c'est mieux” he kissed her inner thigh before diving back into her cunt. Moving his fingers in rhythm of his tasting her folds making Wjian’s toes curl. Her thighs began to shake in wanton as she tried to hold back a scream. 

“Don't hold back, let go.” Their voice slurred as he mumbled against her skin. He then made work getting her to finish.

“NaAhaA~” Wjian legged locked around Chaise as he nibbled on her clit. He pulled his fingers out and solely used his tongue to get her off. He placed his hand to pry open her shaking legs from around his neck. His tongue lapped across her wanting hole. Wjian felt like she was seeing stars as her whole body was hot. His tongue didn’t stop until he felt like he had thoroughly got the essence of Wjian’s juices. He only pulled back when she whined about being overstimulated. Real shame, chaise thought that she could have lasted at least two more times before getting to the main event. 

Chaise pulled leisurely away, the sweet taste of Wjian lingering on his artificial taste buds. He messaged her spazzing thighs as she calmed down from her high.

“To think you were practically begging for it and you’re crying about being overstimulated, how pathetic.” 

“It's your fault, you were edging me!” she pushed on his shoulder with her foot. Trying to make him stumble…it didn't work. He tighten his grip as warning but she just squirmed more even letting out a giggle as if she was challenging him. 

“Oh~ keep acting like that and I'll have to put you in your place, Morveuse.” He grabs her by said foot and yanks her to meet his waist. Tracing up from her foot to grab the pillow-like fat on her thighs.

Chaise pushed wjian’s legs apart and put themself in between her. He unclipped his overalls so he could strip off the multi-color sweater and let it fall to the floor.

Wjian sat up to gain a closer look, this would be the first time seeing Chaise’s “meat thermometer” for her, they had specifically hid it from view whenever she tried to take a peek; even while testing their water lock feature in the shower Chaise covered themselves with a washcloth.

“If you’re gonna be all up on it might as well suck me off,”

“… Y-eah yeah,” Wjian said slowly, her eyes entranced by the large bulge in Chaise’s Savage X Fenty “Rebel Cherub Lace Boxers” in shade “Black Caviar”. 

Wjian reached her hands up and snaked them around Chaise waist; the gentle caresses sent a chill up Chaise’s metal alloy vertebrate. Finally she pulled them down, allowing for the smooth cotton body fabric to pool around their ankles.

She runs her thumb over the length of their shift, faintly feeling him twitch. Circling the tip with her index finger to play with the strings of precum. 

“There’s a surprise waiting for you at the end of the rainbow.”

Her eyes light up at the mention of a surprise and without hesitation or thought she takes his taint in her mouth. Wrapping her tongue his head.

Chaise leans over her in shock, accidentally pushing himself deeper down her mouth. They let out a loud groan that almost sounded like it was distorted. Wjian moans around him at the sensation of his long schlong tickling her throat. Saliva dripped down her chin, while she looked up at him with lidded eyes as she awaited for him to move in her mouth. 

“Merde- mhm That's not what I meant ange…” He panted out; whipping away the drool that slipped out from her mouth. He looked away from her to regain their composure. 

“Just forget it, the mystery mousekatool is a surprise tool for later.” 

“Awhfw” she pouted around him causing him to let out a small whimper. He pulled himself out of her mouth with a pop, his dick  falling on the side of her face, faintly slapping her cheek. 

“Are you gonna fuck me now?” she pants out.

On the nightstand, Chaise’s phone rings cutting off what they were going to say, Walking over Chaise picked up much to Wjian’s dismay as she whined and scooted closer to him.

“Favorite Son-in-Law!” The voice came ringing through the phone. Wjian stared at Chaise while they paced around the room. 

“Hello ma'am, everything alright?” Chaise walked farther back so Wjian can no longer hear her mother on the other side of the phone. 

“Yeah I can go get it.” Chaise began putting clothes on and Wjian looked at him wide eyed. He got fully dressed and put the phone in his pocket.             

“What are you doing, Where are you going?” She jumped up but was quickly told to sit down. 

“Gotta go out and get something.” They opened one of Wjian’s drawers and pulled a vibrator and stood in front of her.

He grabbed her legs and parted them and slowly pushed the toy into her. She let out a groan as she tilted her head back. Pushing their thumb on the toy it started to vibrate causing Wjian to shiver. 

“écoute chérie, I'm going to step out for a moment so I need you to be the good girl I know you are and try not to cum until I get back.” he grabbed one of the pieces of fabric that was on the floor and wrapped it around her hands behind her making sure it’s tight enough so she can’t tug it out.

Chaise gets up, patting her head then walking to the door. 

“Also, don't touch yourself either, not like you can like that.” He smirked; walking out of the room then out of the house. 

Wjian flopped back onto the bed and pushed her legs together. A sheen of sweat began to form over her body. Her mind was fuzzy and she felt like she wasn’t in control of her body. The thing is she wasn’t in control and she loved it? Hated it? 

Whimpering and squirming around on her bed as she forces her composer into submission so she doesn't cum. 

Wjian POV 

My body was hot to the touch, my legs were quivering but felt numb at the same time. I am trying every possibility to kill my  libido but the constant swapping vibration between my legs is making it impossible. Where did Chaise go, why did he leave me like this and how much longer until They come back. What's going to happen if i cum before he gets back. I shiver at the thought of having to be punished because I couldn’t keep my own body in check.

The vibrator has been swapping between intensities ever since Chaise had left and I didn't realize what setting it was going to be on, until it was too late and the vibrations were on ten. 

It would start at one then go to five then back to one before skyrocketing to ten and ending on a random number until it repeats. I count the levels in order to keep my fleeting sanity.

One, five, one, ten, one, eight, one, five, one, Ten, one, Three, one, five, one, ten, one, one, one, five, one, ten…

My mindless muttering is the only thing I can hear as I try to keep up with the switching levels of my toy. I shifted my position which turned out to be the greatest worst decision I could have made. My shift in positioning only served to push the toy deeper inside my drippy cunt.

“Ah~” I tense up all over and I don't know if I can last another second. My blanket was sticking to my wet skin, I pressed my eyes shut and squeezed them tight as I reached a scaling breaking point. 

Tears burned at the corners of my eyes, my whimpers filling the room; or maybe I was already crying and if that's the case I have no clue when it started. Whimpering out at random while I reach the closest version of calm could.  

“Agradar,PleasepleasepleasePlease.” I beg out to no one, or maybe I'm hoping Chaise will hear me from wherever the hell they have left me to. 

I’m sniffling around my tears. I think I'm going to pass out, my vision is getting slightly spotty. I whisper out random pleas or levels from the vibrator. 

“I'm back!” The sound of my Savior devil walked into the house. Or I could be hallucinating the sound of their voice as I lose consciousness. 

“Oh dear~” the sound of Chaise cooing at my slumping form.

Third Pov

Chaise untied Wjian’s arms and gently pulled out vibrator causing her to cry out and regain her senses. He heard her murmuring number patterns like it was her lifeline. Her legs were pretty much quaking in his hands. 

He began caressing her skin, soothing the muscles of her thighs. She held her arms around him giving their neck weak kisses. 

“You're absolutely soaking chère” he kissed her cheek and moved a thumb to her clit, stroking gentle half circles. 

Wjian bucked her hips into his touch with a shrill.

“je vais te baiser, miellat you think you can handle that?” He kissed her jaw and neck waiting for her answer. 

“Please…” wrapping her hands around his neck so she could so she can choke him pull him closer to herself. 

Chaise leaned in to Wjian, pulling her closer into her and pressed a slow deep kiss before trailing down her jaw and neck, peppering kisses.

Wjian let out a whiney moan moving her hand to caress his skin. Chaise ran his tongue along her neck and ended the trail with nibbling on her ear.

“Are you fully conscious and ready to go now?” They whispered into Wjian’s ear.

 “I was ready before you up and left me.” she wiggles under him, pressing her knee into their thigh; egging him on to do something other than kiss and massage her, not that she minds that she just wants more, needs it even. 

“I bet you were but I promise that you'll enjoy what I got later.” He situated himself fully above her so he looked down at her, smirking.

“I better…” She looks away from him only to become startled when he parts her legs. 

Chaise gives a satisfied hum at the look of his lover’s cunt to be still soaking. Swapping a finger over her to test her sensitivity. Deciding that she was on edge due to her whining he strips out of his clothes again and discarded them.

“Watch it! I could leave again if you want.” he slowly started to get up but she made a quick grab to stop him.

“That’s what I thought.” he pulled her to him; there hips colliding into each other. Squeezing the fluff of her thighs then put them around his waist.

Grabbing his dick in one hand, lubing his length with Wjian’s juices; collecting the glistening moisture by rubbing the tip in circles on her bajingo. They pushed the head of their dick into her with zero resistance making them both moan. Chaise bottomed out into Wjian. A sheen of sweat formed on Wjian’s forehead as she got used to the feeling of Chaise’s large size.

He was bigger and thicker than all the toys Wjian had. Her walls stretched to accommodate him. He planted light kisses on her skin as he waited for her go ahead. When she nods and tightens her hold on his arms, he smiles down at her.

He rolls his hips into her, offering Wjian playful shallow thrusts. She let out a faint sigh; wrapping her legs around their hips to push them deeper. Chaise continued to slowly roll into Wjian testing her waning patience with him.  

“This feels nice and all but can you go faster?” 

“Of course.” Chaise spoke through his cheeky smile. 

He quickened his pace but kept to the shallow thrust. Swaying his waist at an even pace that made Wjian let out groans. Rocking into her with an unbothered haste that made his arms flex a bit. They leaned into one another for a kiss that  gradually started getting sloppy.

Chaise leaned into Wjian’s chest and popped a titty in his mouth; sucking on her nipple between his teeth then going to the other and doing the same. Causing her to let out a surprised moan. She arched her back off the bed a little to meet his mouth. 

Chaise pulled out, unlocking her legs from around him. Before Wjian could furrow her brows and complain she was being flipped over onto her stomach. Yanking her thighs to meet his own, pulling her into an arch. 

Lining up with her again, working into her with stable thrust. She shivers in anticipation as his strokes built strength. Exchanging his once fast pace for more harder, focused movements that hit deep in her just right. 

She lets out a loud moan when he angles his hips to hit her G-spot, killing the scratching want that was crawling about her body. He kept ramming into her at the same angle to draw out the same passionate shrills. 

He traced his hand on her body: rubbing up her ass, squeezing the soft flesh, then holding in place with her hips, to her chest playing with them both in his smooth hand, pulling her back into him by the shoulder and finding a resting place at her neck. 

“Ah~” They pulled her up into him. 

“tu aimes cette salope” locking an arm around Wjian and gently squeezing the hand around her neck. Thrusting up into her with wanton that makes them both groan.

“Yes!” Wjian’s legs shook as the core winded tighter and tighter. “Sho~ good,” Wjian moaned out, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Well I got something even better.” Chaise grinned deviously, a chill rain down Wjian’s spine; wetness pooled around Chaise’s disco stick and Wjian’s hips bucked closer to them. She was desperate for any kind of friction.

Chaise's heavy cock dragged slowly out of her and before Wjian could let out any sort of whine or complain Chaise pressed a finger to her plush lips.

Chaise sat down on the bed, his legs wide open.”And here we are, the grand surprise,”

“That your dick has LEDs?” Wjian asked with wide eyes.

“Wha- no you filled out my order request form why would you think that? I mean this!” Chaise grabbed Wjian’s hand guiding it to between their legs and behind their balls, was a familiar wetness. 

“Is this…”

“A pussy, yeah,”

Without any hesitation Wjian leaned towards Chaise, diving head first into their drippy inviting cunt.

“AH- fuck you greedy slut~” 

Wjian lapped at the gooey folds of Chaise’s muff. Chaise let out breathy moans as their fingers roughly grabbed Wjian’s blonde locks. She uttered a moan worthy of being on porn hub.

Chaise’s thighs clenched around Wjian’s head;the feeling that came from a clitoral orgasm was much different than what Chaise was usually used to. A clit was much more sensitive than a peen after all. The coil tightening deep in their core; winding and winding and winding; ready to snap at any given moment. 

“Shi-shit~” Chaise cried out as Wjian slipped two fingers into Chaise’s yes yes square (you see it’s not a no no square cause consent is key!) Wjian scissored her fingers, trying to loosen the tight gummy walls of Chaise’s vagina.

Wjian was on a mission and by the sudden moan and their back arching off the bed, Wjian had completed it. She had found Chaise’s g-spot

“That feel good, amor?” Wjian asked curling her fingers to continuously caress against Chaise’s sweet spot, whilst simultaneously sucking his clit.

“Yes yes yesss! Ohmygosh keep going!”

Chaise’s head lolled back;their locs swaying with the lash of his movements. Closing his eyes and letting out a shocking shrill that startled Wjian while she worked them through the new version of a high. Leaving him panting and blurry eyed for a moment. After Chaise came…down from their senses Wjian pulled away licking her lips with a pleased smirk. 

They pause for a moment, heartbeats matching into rhythmic pace. Wjian moved to rub Chaise’s back as their breathing returned to normal. Chaise leaned over to place a slow, tender kiss on her lips. 

Lining up with Wjian’s suffocatingly tight, warm, cozy, wet, welcoming tasty, not to mention torentally downpouringly wet, friendly, adorable, delicious, wet, open and experienced yet closed and selective, fun loving, needy(but also very generous), large and in charge - but at the same time small and timid, independent but also very codependent, womanly- yet strong, wet, soaking honeypot(wet pussy!). 

Chaise dived right into her dangerous and sexy ocean. Most men(women and enbies also) would drown in the sea of pleasure that was Wjian’s model type money making penis pocket but not Chaise. If Wjian was the wide and wondrous Caribbean then Chaise’s taint was the Wonder of the Seas Royal Caribbean International Cruise, large and in charge of her metaphorical dangerous waters.

Wjian let out a chorus of wanton moans as Chaise’s hips snapped against her ass cheeks, filling the room with lewd noises. 

“Hah- time to kick it into maximum overdrive,” Chaise said.

At their words Wjian was struck with confusion but it quickly became apparent by the overwhelming pleasure. 

It was vibrating. Chaise’s dick…

…Was Vibrating.

“Ah- FUCK!” Wjian exclaimed in confusion as her mind tried to comprehend the faint aggression of humbuzz that was now Chaise’s dick.

Chaise wrapped his arms around Wjian’s waist and flipped her around with precision and expertise. It all happened so quickly Wjian could barely comprehend it as she went from backshots to cowgirl.

“You handle me so well Amour,I could never get tired of this~”

“Oh dios, Ay dios mío!” she grabbed a hold of the arms that were wrapped around her. Chaise jackhammered into Wjian’s squelching cunt, her legs shaking as she struggled to hold herself up.

“Merde I’m so close,” Chaise groaned. 

“Come inside! I need your cum all inside my pussy!” Wjian proclaimed her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Oh~” Wjian's toes curled and she closed her eyes in an effort to savor her climbing climax that was falling into her grasp at a harsh velocity. 

As waves of euphoria washed over Wjian, Chaise’s hips slowed and stuttered unevenly. Sticky white hot ropes of cum shoot into Wjian’s meat muffler. It was exactly what the slut ordered.

“I'm proud of you, you lasted longer than I thought.”

Chaise pulled out, sighing in deep satisfaction. Wjian laid on their chest, gently kissing their jaw before turning her head back to a comfortable resting position and taking in their body heat.

The familiar white viscous dripped down her thighs. They both smiled with a sigh and sweat fell from her pores. While they could've turned off the seminal ejaculation, Wjian said it would be fine, because like any good slut, she loved a good creampie.

While yes she might’ve been sticky from sweat and cum and all types of other love juices; and while yes her legs and back would be severely sore in the morning, this is what she had longed for; What they both longed for.

The gentle skinship, the tender kisses, the loving caresses; and yes there were certain things that weren’t possible for the two of them, they could work around it, because now they really have time.

Chaise was here to stay, and so was this relationship. Wjian was a gay ass gamer and Chaise, who has been her gay ass gamer chair, got a little bit gayer.

NOTES: We, Mind of the Hive One, Eseni Azuly, were given too much creative liberty by our co-author and do not apologize for the unhingedness of this story, it is a crack fic after all.

I am only half sorry. -Mind of the hive Two

So Darling Worker Bees, I hope you enjoyed the Gaymer Chair! If you did like this then we have other stories coming to Tumblr soon that are similar to this as well as some other projects in the works to stay tuned and tell all your deviant friends!

If you speak French or Spanish we the Anomaly Hivemind are so sorry for the translations if they are wrong, we do not speak those languages

Translations

French 

Mon Chou- sweetie

Mon tendre- my sweet

Mon Ange- My Angel

Mon Cher- my dear

Mon Amour- my love

Mon étoile- My Star

Oui- Yes

Amour- love

alors je protégerai ton coeur pour toujours- then i'll protect your heart forever.

C'est compris- its understand 

Salope- slut

Chérie- dear

que c'est chéri- what’s that darling 

Divin goût - taste divine

c'est mieux- its better

Merde- shit/fuck

écoute chérie- listen honey

tu aimes cette salope- you like that slut

Ma Cherie- my dear

Spanish

Mi Tesoro- my treasure 

Querido- my love

Amor- love

mi carino- my sweet

mi corazon- my heart

Déjame terminar- let me finish 

lo juro- i swear

Agradar-please

Ay dios mío- oh lord

[kitkatnerds3]

BUNGO STRAY DOGS S5 EP6

Ok, I just watched the episode, and that was fucking amazing! They got so many of the scenes in! Fyolai are being gay, Sigma is already so done with everyone's shit, Ango had his babygirl moment, and they used the Bram music scene to transition into the outro! That was so cool!

While I loved all of this episode and the adventures of Aya and Bra-chan are delightful, I think everyone agrees on the true main characters of this episode.

THE MERSAULT GIRLIES BABYYYYYYY!

Holy shit they were SO babygirl! I mean I already knew they were babygirl but the anime seems to have intensified it! Also, Bones truly has put their entire budget into animating Dazai haven’t they? He was so pretty!! And Fyolai. Oh My God FYOLAI! Did they get gayer? Honestly they might have, Fyodor fucking smiling fondly at Nikolai saying I'm gonna kill you, Dazai's 'wow', I don't think the wow was in the manga why did they add that! Not complaining it was amazing but holy fuck Dazai ships it! Like 'you really have some awesome friends' 'right?' what the fuck is happening :D <- (smile of pure joy) ALSO, Nikolai called Fyodor bestie! I wish it were Dos-kun but bestie is also fucking amazing, just say you're in love. Poor Sigma tho, he ain't payed enough to deal with this gay bullshit.

On a different note, the Ango scene! He was so pretty! He smiled fondly at a picture of Dazai! He called him nasty! It was so nice to see him!

On another different note, Fyodor doesn't need to touch someone to kill them question mark? Probably don't need to add the 'question mark' when typing but I think it helps accentuate my point. I have a kinda bullshit theory about Fyodor's ability that I wrote on my thoughts about chapter 108, but it could be true maybe? In it I theorized that Fyodor didn't actually have to touch anyone to kill them and that that's just a red herring that he set up and that could quite possibly be true!

Anyway, that episode was amazing, it was so silly and it was wonderful. We may have missed Dazai throwing an egg at Fyodor but they kept enough stuff and made Fyolai gay enough that I think it was a fair trade! We will miss you breakfast scene but at least your breatheran survived!

Cant wait for the next episode! I'm not entirely sure what happens next but Aya and Bram might meet Kenji soon which means the the Tecchou Kenji fight and Tecchou's homosexual bullshit will probably show up soon, and we might get the Sigzai waist grab if we're lucky! I think that happens at around this point in time!

[luminouslotuses]

my (hopefully) coherent thoughts about mean girls! spoilers ahead ofc👍

music:

the songs weren’t that bad! sexy, world burn, apex predator, and meet the plastics were my faves

my least favorite was stupid with love though,, the production makes it so boring i’m sorry😭

<-but what i will say is that the stupid with love reprise performed at the spring fling SLAPPED. why can’t that be on the soundtrackk

i feel like a lot of emotion that the original songs had is lost here. whether it be the production or the vocals accompanying it or both; i feel like they go hand in hand. reneé auli’i & jaquel definitely brought the energy that was needed here

the choreography & visuals that went with the songs definitely made them better than simply listening to the soundtrack on its own. like i was much more invested in what ifs & revenge party for example– and i already liked someone gets hurt, but the VISUALS??? holy shit that scene was incredible

i really wish a few songs were kept from the show like any of damian’s or that the someone gets hurt reprise in the movie was included in the soundtrack. hell i kind of wish do this thing was kept because i think that would’ve gone so hard at the end for some inexplicable reason pfft

and of course these can’t top the original broadway versions, nor did i expect them to. also sometimes the production or mixing was either bland or off (like in world burn reneé’s vocals are a second or two behind the backing track at one point, which is super weird since it’s fine in the soundtrack but i digress lmao)

cast/characters:

the cast have great chemistry they’re all so talented they’re so fucking funny aghh the casting was perfect

reneé as regina made me gayer somehow. Not surprised there

AVANTIKA. she was soso perfect as karen!! so funny so insanely pretty and she did sexy so much justice

okay admittedly i was a little unsure about angourie as cady. only at first though because once she became part of the plastics she played that role so well

speaking of cady that scene when regina’s singing in the cafeteria and cady’s staring at her is actually the gayest thing i’ve ever seen hands down

ms. norbury & mr. duvall are in a relationship. they have dogs at home. janis said (jokingly) that they got wasted at the spring fling. they are My straight couple i love them so fucking much

ough the bond between cady and her mom is so sweet and even emotional at one point i really like it

the band always seeming to be around and playing is so good especially when they’re in the tree in that one scene lol

i knew lindsay lohan would be there somehow and her being the proctor for the math competition was golden. (also her lines like “this has only happened once more”<-referencing the original movie & then the “i don’t know your life” to cady were SOOO)

miscellaneous:

so happy some of the jokes and moments from the musical were in the movie. like “homeschooled? oh that’s a fun way to take jobs from my union!” & mr. duvall’s retainer case & the bathroom scene with cady & regina lol

i was thinking they’d go overboard with the social media aspect (like a lot of media typically tends to do when making a movie like this) but i was pleasantly surprised! yes it was definitely a large part of many scenes but i think it mostly worked & made sense

it’s best to not have any expectations when walking into this movie; nothing too high, nothing too low. i probably like it more than the average person as i’ve always loved the broadway musical but still. if you want to see it i say go for it! it has a great cast, songs that range from bland & perfectly serviceable to great with exceptional vocals (coughs. Reneé), and some nice references and moments for fans of the original movie, the musical, or both. it was fun time and i could tell there was heart put into it🫶