#i will suffer like the garbage unless cockroach that i am. fuck my fucking life and fuck everything.
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#useless waste of space#waste of everything#i can't use my stupid therapy skills because i just do not fucking care.#idk where the part of me that normally cares is but they're just. gone.#i won't help myself feel better because why would i do that when i don't even deserve it.#i will suffer like the garbage unless cockroach that i am. fuck my fucking life and fuck everything.#i can't do anything. what am i even here for.#suicide tw#tw suicide#if someone sees this. which you won't. please reach out i'm literally dying.#i wish i still had friends following me here#personal
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Red Door Yellow Door.
So I want to start by saying I have never and probably will never have a chance to actually play this game however I see things about it and I feel like a lot of people are terrified of their own minds like it's a monster.
I can see why someone might think that. There are a lot of people on here who would agree because they suffer from any number of mental illnesses so they have to deal with a brain that's not working properly.
Or they're neurodivergent like I am so it's not so much it's not working right but it's working weird.
However, I'm going to argue that even if your brain is a complete utter garbage fire it's not your enemy. It will not be your enemy unless you FULLY believe it is.
So what is Red Door Yellow Door? It's a game where you are put into a trance and you go on a happy little adventure in your own brain with a friend acting as a guide. It's a game in the same section of spooky as like One person hide and seek. Or The Three Kings.
Except the ghosts are just parts of you now instead of actual ghosts or demons.
So the first thing I want to say is there is a lot of superstition around this game. Three things you're supposed to avoid, shadowy men in black suits, old people, and clocks. You're also told to just avoid interacting with most entities you find in your mind.
Okay, I can understand that you don't want to buy an imaginary Rolex from the cockroach man for astral bucks. You can't even take the psychic Rolex with you into the real world so yeah probably best to skip him but that does leave a few things.
The clocks, the old people, and the shadow man.
I have to ask why you're supposed to avoid these things and the answer usually boils down to poppycock of either getting stuck in the trance or dying in real life because you died in the trance.
WHAT ABSOLUTE BALDERDASH!
Many people still believe that if you die in a dream you'll die in real life. I can thoroughly attest that it's not true from personal experience. But what about getting stuck in a trance. Kinda possible but you want to know what you do, let them sleep. No seriously, you just let them take a nap. They will wake up feeling well-rested. The other way is what I call the "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT" solution where you break out of the trance by remembering you're in a trance-induced dream and just....abort it like you do a nightmare. It is the dopest fucking skill I've ever learned from terrible dreams.
So what about the shadow man? Well if you want my honest hypothesis. Most likely they are your shadow self. Not as much as a Jung variety as most likely the shadow created by your actions that run...counter to your perception of self. If you run into them. Obviously, you may fear or may want to avoid interacting with them because you are not ready to accept this part of yourself. It is a bitter pill to swallow.
The only real danger of the game I can think of for anyone is running into the memories of your trauma. Either reliving the events or finding things you tried to lock away.
But I'm just an E so who is to say.
#long ramble#I love spooky things#nothing more haunted than ones mind#I caution to just avoid games like this#red door yellow door#don't open these doors at all please and thanks#you're probably not ready for any of what your brain wants to process
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