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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

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What Could Have Been

Derek Morgan x Penelope Garica

Warnings: mentions of getting shot, church and Morgan’s favourite line “son of a bitch”

Category: Angst, so much fricking angst. Fluff at the end.

Word Count: 3.7k

Author’s Note: For the purpose of this, Derek never married savannah but still left the BAU after the kidnapping and garvez didn’t happen :) also I used the scenes from the episodes below, most of them are quoted but not exactly word for word. (shout out to haley and to whoever she got this gif from <3)

Song: The Night We Met

Italics are flashbacks.

FB 1= 8x09 “Magnificent Light”

FB 2= 3x09 “Penelope”

FB 3= 3x09 “Penelope”, 4x01 ‘”Mayhem” & 5x21 “Exit Wounds”

-----

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

I've been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

The clock just struck 12, everyone had arrived back at the BAU after a case in Delaware. The team sat in the bullpen, their heads perked up when the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Derek.

He stepped off the elevator with a smile on his face, the glass doors ruined his image of a surprise but what the hell, he missed them too much to even care. Derek pulled the door open, the familiar smell of coffee and paper files filled his nose.

“Derek ?” Spencer stood up from his chair.

“Pretty boy” Derek smiled making his way over to give him a hug. Spencer smiled as his face was pulled into Derek’s shoulder.

Derek turned to Emily next, “princess” he grinned, “hey you” she hugged him.

JJ was next, her arms wrapped around his neck as she stood on her tiptoes to give him a proper hug.

He went on to hug Tara and Rossi, and greeted Luke and Matt as they made their way into the BAU.

Derek chatted with the team, they told him about the kidnapping case they had just worked but he couldn't seem to focus on their conversations as his mind kept wandering back to her.

Where is she?

One by one, the office cleared out. Matt and JJ being the firsts as they wanted to get home to their kids, Luke was next one and on his way to pick up Roxy. Tara and Rossi left shortly after the first 3, leaving Derek, Emily and Spencer sitting in the bullpen, just like old times.

“Okay, I've been here for..” Derek glances at the clock, “27 minutes and I’ve yet to see my baby girl. Did she leave early?” Derek asked them, Emily and Spencer glanced at each other before turning back to Derek.

“Derek, she-” Emily started but Derek cut her off. “I think I'll go surprise her” He headed out of the bullpen before either of them could say anything to him.

“Did she really not tell him ?” Spencer looks at her,

“She didn’t want him to come and beg her to stay” Emily says quietly. Spencer gets up and walks out to find Derek, he sees Derek just as he opens the second door to her office.

“Baby gir-” Derek stops in his tracks. The office only had the lights on but all the monitors were off and all her stuff was gone. The chair was pushed in, there was dust starting to settle on the desk and monitors.

Where is she? Where’s all her stuff ? God, did something happen to her? I should have never left.

Spencer’s voice broke through Derek’s thoughts. “She left” Spencer whispered, leaning against the door frame. Derek didn't say anything, he stood there quietly, in the middle of her office, an empty office, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“When ?” Derek’s fingers dragged across the desk where her key board should be.

“February” Spencer told him.

“She didn’t tell me” Derek mumbled.

Derek didn't know how to feel.

His heart pounding in his chest.

“Can I have a minute alone ?” Derek glances at Spencer before turning back to the turned off monitor.

“Of course. Emily and I will be in the bullpen if you need us” Spencer pulled the door shut as he left Derek in the office.

And then I can tell myself

What the hell I'm supposed to do

And then I can tell myself

Not to ride along with you

There’s no way she left. This had to be some practical joke. Maybe Penelope hacked the flight records, saw he was coming to Virginia and wanted to mess with him.

Derek pulled the chair out and sat down. His heart sunk in his chest, his hand ran across the desk again, his fingers making marks in the dust. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that she had left.

Sure, he knew she would have eventually moved on, she’s talented and smart and beautiful.

My god, how she was beautiful.

But never did he ever think the day would come where she would actually leave the BAU.

This was her home, they were her family.

Derek had never seen the office this empty. There were always trinkets, sparkly fluffy pens and mugs, so many mugs, more than you could count.

The room felt heavy though it was empty.

His hand reached into the desk drawer to his left, it was empty. Not like he was expecting anything to be there but he thought it wouldn’t hurt to check. Derek leaned back in the chair as his foot tapped against the desk, something rattled.

His eyes flickered down to the other drawer as his foot tapped the desk again. Derek pulled the drawer open, there was some paper in it. He picked them up and flipped through them, it was mostly computer manuals and old case files. Under all of that, there was a picture frame.

It was a simple black picture frame, which was a bit plain for Penelope’s taste but the photo brought a smile to his face. It was a picture from the night of the police gala, they were already running late but she insisted that they take a picture before heading inside.

“Derek! Don’t be difficult, we’re already late. It doesn't make a difference” she tried to reason with him. “Baby girl, they're waiting on me” Derek looked at her, already on his way to the door. Derek was stubborn but if he had a soft spot, and one she knew he had for sure, it was her.

“Derek Morgan if you don't get your butt over here right now, so help me god because I will leave you here all by yourself” she mustered up the most stern look she could manage and looked at him. Derek chuckled and shook his head, jogging back down the stairs to his beloved Penelope.

He’d go to the ends of the earth and back for this woman.

“Excuse me!” Penelope turned to the man��at the valet, “could you take a picture for us?” she fished the camera out of her wristlet, Derek smiled at her.

“Mama, why don't you use your phone? you’re always carrying around this camera”

“I like my camera, it holds pictures from forever ago. When we were all young and happy” she wrapped her arm around his waist, Derek put his arm around her shoulder and her other hand came up to reach his, their fingers interlocking.

“Are we not happy now?” he looked down at her.

Even with heels on, Derek still towered over Penelope. She looked up at her chocolate thunder and smiled,

“I'm always happy when I'm with you.”

The two of them stood there, smiling at each other, they had forgotten all about the picture until the camera flashed. The man from the valet spoke up “would you like one more? maybe looking at the camera this time ?” They turned towards the camera with the brightest smiles on their face.

Derek’s finger ran across the glass of the frame. She didn’t use the picture of them looking at the camera, but the one of them looking at each other. Her words flooding his mind once again,

“I’m always happy when I'm with you.”

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Oh, take me back to the night we met

Derek was tempted to call her, to ask her why she hadn’t told him that she was leaving the BAU. He would have come and helped her pack, made sure she had a proper goodbye, most importantly, he would have gotten to tell her what he had come back to tell her.

He had missed a call from her last month and he didn't return her call simply because he had forgotten.

To say he felt guilty, was an understatement.

What if she had been calling to tell him that she was leaving ? Or if something had happened to her? or JJ or Emily or Spencer ? Or even Rossi (because, let’s be real, he’s old)

The thought of Penelope calling Derek to tell him Rossi busted a hip running after an unsub bought a smile back to his face. His mind wandered back to all the times he had called her and they spent hours talking and laughing and telling each other how much they loved one another.

Those were just words, it didn't truly mean anything unless he showed her that it did. The feeling of his heart sinking in his chest returned, he thought back to ten years ago, he had missed a call from Spencer.

The cold air hit his face as he stepped out of the church, Derek took his phone out of his pocket.

Missed Call from Pretty Boy (2)

The missed call notifications flashed across the screen in bold letters. Derek assumed that Penelope had Spencer call to find out why he hadn't returned to the BAU with everyone else so he called Spencer back.

“Hey, sorry I missed your call” Derek said to Spencer as he hopped in the SUV.

“Derek where the hell are you ?” Spencer sounded upset, Derek chuckled.

“Woah, calm down pretty boy. What’s wrong?”

“Garcia’s been shot” Spencer cut straight to the point.

Derek’s heart dropped and a flood of questions left his mouth. “What ? Where is she? Is she okay ? Where's Hotch ? Did he find the person ? How did this even happen?”

“Morgan, we’re at the hospital. Penelope’s in surgery and Hotch is here. He’s got other officers at her apartment, he wanted everyone here when she got ou- oh wait, Hotch and Rossi are on their way to her apartment now”

“Her apartment ? she got shot at home ?”

“Derek.. please just come to the hospital.”

Derek hung up on Spencer, all the emotions hitting him at once. He could feel the tears in his eyes but he didn't have time to cry. His only focus was getting to the hospital right now.

The only thing that came to mind was lights.

Derek did just that, he turned on the lights and sped down the road to the hospital. His thoughts took over.

How did this happen? and the one night he just happened to be in church, Penelope got shot.

His Penelope got shot.

Derek didn’t believe in miracles but he hoped they were real that night. He glanced up at the sky as he sped down the road.

“Tonight out of all nights huh? That’s messed up but let her pull through.. please. I can’t lose her” Derek said out loud. He wasn't sure if he was admitting it to himself or if he was talking to someone else, someone out there that could help Penelope but he said it anyways.

It was true, he couldn’t lose her, he’d feel like lost himself if he did.

When he arrived at the hospital, he found Spencer sitting with Emily and JJ. Hotch and Rossi stood by the doors. “Where are you still here ? I thought you were at the apartment” Derek walked over to them, Hotch turned his attention to Derek.

“They don't want us working the case”

“What ? That’s bullshit. Some son of a bitch shot her and we can’t even work the case? You can’t tell me that you’re actually listening to that shit” Derek practically shouted at Hotch.

“I’m trying to figure something out Morgan. I understand you're upset, we all are.” Hotch told him.

When the night was full of terrors

And your eyes were filled with tears

When you had not touched me yet

Oh, take me back to the night we met

Derek almost told Penelope that he loved her. He tells her all the time to be truthful, but like he thought, it didn’t mean anything unless he showed her that it did. He first told her the night she was released from the hospital.

The two of them stood in her apartment after he brought her home. She was a bit on edge, even if she didn’t say it, he could see it.

She had assured him it was okay for him to leave but he refused to leave her side until he knew she’d be safe and the son of a bitch that did that to her was either dead or in jail.

Her back was turned to him, he called for her.

“Hey, I love you, you know that right ?” he asked her, she smiled at him.

“I love you too.”

The second time was during a case in New York. Derek didn’t say he loved her out right but he assumed it was implied.

“Why is it always you ? Why do you always do this?” she asked him, Derek navigated the ambulance through the traffic.

“Garica, talk to me. Where do I turn?” he ignored her question.

“Left, turn left. 30 seconds, get the hell out.”

“Garcia there’s something I want you to know”

“You can tell me afterwards, just get the hell out of there”

“No, hold on let me just tell you”

“Morgan” she warned him, the woman beside her counting down from ten.

“Do you know what you are Garica ?”

The line went silent for a second and the server connected.

“Derek ?” Penelope called out to him, her voice ringing in his ear. The sound of something exploding was the only thing coming through the line.

“Garcia.. I'll tell you what you are to me” Derek’s voice came through. A wave of relief flooded her body but she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Was this man serious ? Here she was thinking something had happened to him and he’s fine.

“You’re my god given solace”

Penelope sighed, she loved him and it was clear he loved her too but she was mad at him so that would have to wait until another time.

The third time was when he came the closest to really telling her the truth. They were in Alaska and the case was taking a toll on her.

Her red hair caught his eye as he walked down the pathway. He walked up to her, his heart pounding in his chest. Derek wondered if she felt the same way he did.

“I’m proud of you Penelope.” That was one of the rare days that he called her something other than a nickname or Garcia. His hand rested on her shoulder as she talked, admitting to him that she was scared, she didn't want to lose who she was because she had changed for the job.

“It's who you are baby girl, you see the beauty in everyone and everything no matter where you go. That part is never going to change and I won’t let you forget that.”

“I don’t need you to protect me”

“Tough, I think I'll stay on the job a little while longer”

“Yeah ?” she smiled at him, he smiled back as a hum left his mouth.

“How much longer ?” Penelope questions him, “every day of my life”

The two of them were now leaning towards each other. She playfully punched his chest as she leaned forwards and his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“I kinda love you Derek Morgan”

“I kinda love you Penelope Garcia”

Derek couldn't tell her now, she's probably in a relationship and happy. He wouldn't ruin her happiness because he finally figured out his feelings, he couldn't do that to her.

It didn't lessen the pain nor the heartbreak he felt.

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Take me back to the night we met

Emily sat in the bullpen with Spencer. It had been close to two hours since Spencer left Derek in Penelope’s old office. “I’m calling her” Emily states as she pulls out her phone.

“Emily..”

“Reid, shut up. I know you can see it too.”

Everyone could see it, even Matt and Luke who were the last two to join the BAU.

Derek Morgan was in love with Penelope Garica.

He was in love with her right now and he always had been.

Spencer listened as Emily told Penelope what was happening. A ‘see you soon’ left Emily’s lips before she hung up. Spencer looked over at her from his chair, Emily just nodded.

Derek mentally groaned as someone knocked on the door, “I'm fine, Reid” Derek called out with his back still turned to the door, assuming it was Spencer.

“I’m offended that you would mistake my beautiful body for boy wonder. Not that anything's wrong with him but- oh you get what I mean” a feminine voice spoke to him.

Derek turned the chair around to see the one and only Penelope Garcia standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. She looked just as beautiful as she did the day he met her.

Her white dress with the baby blue pattern on it, her sparkly blue heels and of course, matching jewellery.

She looked like an angel on earth to him.

“Hey handsome, miss me?” she asked, Derek got up and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug which made her laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes” she mumbled with her face buried in his chest.

“You have no idea” Derek replied, kissing the top of her head.

She stepped back from him, their arms still wrapped around each other.

“what are you doing here?” she looked up at him.

“I came to see you, how’d you know I was here?”

“Emily called me”

Derek nodded, Prentiss always had his back in one way or another.

Derek tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, she smiled at him. There was a baby blue streak in her hair, the same colour as the pattern on her dress. The frame of her glasses was slightly darker than the blue on her dress but it looked beautiful on her. Penelope’s eyes shifted from Derek to the picture frame on the desk.

“Where did you find that ?” she picked up the frame.

“Desk drawer”

“I remember this night” she smiled looking down at the picture.

“Me too”

Penelope turned back to Derek, he reached forward and held one of her hands.

“Penelope”

“Derek”

“There’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been meaning to tell you and honestly, I have told you but I- I just need you to know”

“Is everything okay ?”

“I love you” he says

“I love you too” she smiles.

“Penelope, I'm in love with you.” Derek's eyes met Penelope's. Her mouth hung out slightly, she blinked a few times, her eyes focusing on Derek.

“What ?”

“I’m in love with you, I always have been. I’ve been trying to tell you that for years. I never realized that I was until you got shot to tell you the truth. It never occurred to me that I could lose you, you work from the office in your little room of wonders and you’re safe. You had always been safe.”

“Derek I-”

“Baby, let me finish, please”

She nodded and waited for him to go on.

“You were the only consistent thing when I worked here, did you know that ? Every time I left this building, there was a chance I wouldn't come back, you were the reason I wanted to come back. You were the reason I pushed so hard to come back. Penelope Garica, you are my angel, the light of my life, my god given solace, you are my baby girl.” Derek let out a sigh. Penelope looked up at him, “are you done?” and he nodded.

She pulled him into a hug, “it took you long enough” she whispered to him. “I love you too, more than words can explain.”

Derek’s hand cradled her face, “can I kiss you ?” he leaned towards her, his lips inches from hers. “Yes” she mumbled as his lips touched her. Penelope’s heart pounded in her chest, she could only focus on how Derek’s lips felt against hers. Truthfully, she had been dreaming of the day Derek would finally kiss her for years. It was better than she could have ever imagined. It felt as if time stopped and it was only the two of them while the world melted away.

Derek’s eyes open slightly, taking in the woman he had been in love with for so long. The way her eyelashes flutter against her skin and the way her pink blush complemented her pale skin. 15 years of friendship and love had led them to this moment, the moment that would change their lives from this day forward.

After what felt like an eternity, they pulled away from each other. Penelope’s hands clung onto Derek’s shirt like he would vanish if she let go. Her red lipstick smudge and surely there was lipstick on Derek too. Derek smiled at her and she smiled back at him, the two began laughing like school children sharing secrets.

“I think I'll keep my job” Derek mumbled against her lips as he pulled her in for another kiss. Her mind flickering back to their case in Alaska and what he had said to her before they left.

“How much longer are you planning on doing that ?”

“Every single day of my life babygirl.”

------

Dedicated to my darling @haleymalaffey <3

Taglist: @aaronhotchnerr @mac99martin @aaron-hotchner187 @tclaerh @luke-alvez @iconicc @lieberhers @pumpkin-reads @katexrichardson @sluttytears @thelukealvez @scandinavian-punk @rosesonmyheart @shotarosleftpinky @mrs-dr-reid @ssaemxlyprentxss @summerygubler @savannahhayes @moreid187 @lovelyladiess

#derek morgan #penelope garcia #derek morgan x penelope garcia #derek x penelope #morcia #cm #cm imagine #cm imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds imagine #morgan x garcia #penelope x derek #derek morgan imagine #penelope garica imagine #ssa derek morgan #ssa penelope garica

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brokenmusicboxwolfe · 2 years ago

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FFS, I can’t believe I’ve screwed up this badly with my math!

Here I am, about to go do my once every two week shopping, and as usual I go check my bank account before getting out the cash.

Oh, that surprises you. Yeah, I use cash. I have a refillable debt card, but I reserve it for things I have to order or pay for online, and after trying to pay with a check at Walmart and being refused by their system because I “hadn’t written enough checks”, I’ve stuck with cash. It makes it easier not to screw up, having to keep a strict count while I shop, with no wiggle room, no space for impulsive “Why not?” It’s tough, but at least I don’t accidentally overspend….

Except I just found out I have!!!

It totally took me by surprise. My debit card it down to $12. I bet I forgot to count those new ankle braces I had to get, but the cause doesn’t matter right now. What matters is, if I get out my usual once every two weeks amount to buy the food for me and the animals I won’t have enough in my bank account to pay my $30 phone bill next week!

So here I am, kicking myself for every “luxury” (those blueberries) I bought and realizing I may not be able to buy the stuff I intended to get for the 4th. The 4th is my family “junk food” day, and I won’t have any more money until after!

I mean, I know it’s weird to complain about not getting to buy hot dogs, soda, and potato chips when you are already going “right, maybe you should skip meat and fresh fruit this time”. But darn it, I only buy junk food once a year! I look forward to it!

But the truth is fretting about food choices is distracting me from the real problem: The bills that might crop up before the 5th or 6th of July. The phone bill is the top of the list, but it is hardly the only thing.

Look, I’m used to being broke. Wear my parents’ old clothes, buy store brands, don’t drive anywhere you don’t absolutely have to, and that sort of thing. I STILL can’t drive the pickup because the next time I do it will hit empty and I haven’t been able to afford gas. It’s annoying, but I just shrugged and figured I’d get a few gallons with whatever cash I had left over after shopping. I’ve been saying that for two months now. But it hasn’t upset me too much. It’s just how poverty is.

But screwing up, doing my math wrong, buying a spare ankle brace because it was on special instead of the two new ones I needed right now, knowing my dumbness might mean I lose my already crappy phone service…..

I dunno. It’s not even the stress and anxiety of it, it’s the anger at myself over something I can’t fix that gets me. Like, “Oh good, I’ve driven off a cliff and all I can do is wait and see if I survive the crash.”

**sigh**

Well, someone sent me $5 through Kofi I still haven’t transfered to my bank account. That’s a start. Maybe I should go hunting for spare change in the parking lot. I won’t find $30, but every penny really does count…..

So if anyone likes my photos and/or sculpting feel free to tip or use my ko-fi once in a while. (If my tech cooperates I will add some fresh pics to my ko-fi page)

I hate to even write that, and I do NOT want anyone to feel pressured. As long as my tech holds on by it’s fingernails and I can keep my internet I will keep posting, and besides, I’ll figure something out or get lucky maybe. It’s all so humiliating.

But still, to remind folks:

Thanks for letting me vent.

#my day #poverty #money #I feel like such an idiot!

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crimziedrawings · 3 years ago

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I had a Elorcan story that I was really excited about but I've been too busy to actually write it so here, have the outline I created instead. It's a bit choppy, I had the fine details in my head and the outline was just to contain the general points.

The Dead Gods' Blessing (an Elorcan story)

Chapter 1

• Elide/Lorcan wake up, blissfully

• Elide reminds Lorcan that Aelin/Rowan/Fenrys/Vaughn (the gang) are visiting, he is not happy

• Lorcan makes Elide breakfast while she is bathing as a surprise

• They talk about the baby and baby names

• ~ They meet the gang outside the front door because Elide is so excited

• Lorcan's fae-male-protective-bullshit comes out

• Fenrys smirks, Rowan looks a little sad

• Elide reveals the plan for a picnic

• ~They go down to a creek nearby with a nice view

• Elide has to go to the bathroom since the baby is pushing on her bladder

• Chapter ends with Elide screaming

Chapter 2

• Lorcan and the gang runs after Elide

• They don't see her but Vaughn finds blood

• Lorcan freaks out

• Suddenly they see something move and run after it

• A creature has Elide

• They chase it down to a cliff

• The creature scrambles to stop but ultimately falls off

• Lorcan screams and tries to follow

• The Cadre holds him back

• Aelin looks down at the cliff and spots the monster impaled by the rocks, notices a human hand underneath

• Lorcan manages to get away and crawls to the edge, seeing the same as Aelin

• He screams and cries

• The rocks give way and it falls into the water

• Rowan tries to comfort him but fails as Lorcan's grief is so overwhelming that he loses control of his powers

• Aelin tries to use the bond to make Lorcan stop but is interrupted by a whisp of darkness (Lorcan's power)

• Rowan, Aelin, and Vaughn join forces to create a shield around Lorcan

• *Fenrys pov

• It last a long time unless Lorcan passes out

Chapter 3

• Lorcan wakes up in his bed

• He feels heavy and looks over for Elide

• She's not there and he remembers what happened

• He doesn't want to believe it, refuses to and starts to lose control again

• Someone comes in and injects him with something, and all of a sudden he passes out again

• ~ He wakes up again to find Rowan besides him, with red trimmed eyes and looking like a mess

• Lorcan begs "Please... Please tell me it wasn't real, I can't-"

• Rowan reaches over and grasp his shoulder, sad for his brother and says "I'm sorry"

• Lorcan continues to cry and Rowan stays with him

• Lorcan asks "How did you do this? How did you go on, please tell me how"

• Rowan replies "I didn't. I can't ever forget what happened. I spent some time in disbelief. There was a moment where I knew it was the end and I couldn't handle that. I was so close... But then someone showed up at my door. Nearly broke my door, as I recall. He told me that it's gonna hurt but I need to keep going and fight. It's what she would want. You saved me, Lorcan"

• Lorcan says "I was wrong. I did not understand what it was to be in your place. The pain, the loss, it... you lose yourself"

• Rowan says "No, you were right. Because everyday it became a little easier to breathe to the point where I found myself again. In Aelin. I am eternally grateful for your appearance because I got to meet Aelin, my real mate"

• Lorcan screams "there is no one else! There will never be anyone else! Elide is it for me, she will always be the only one. I can't do this, Rowan... it feels like all the air has been taken from me and I can't catch a breath. Elide was all that was good of me. I'm barely alive without her. And barely alive is just suffocating..."

• Rowan looks sad

• Lorcan "And I was going to be a father"

Chapter 4

• Rowan walks in to see Lorcan still in bed (he smells)

• Rowan says he need to get out of bed, he has a city to run

• Lorcan basically has given up

• Rowan talks about how it's Elide's home and his home now too so he has to get up. He also says that he is staying in Perranth for a while.

• Lorcan says he doesn't need a babysitter but gets up anyways

• He goes to take a shower and comes out to open curtains and windows, a made bed, and his clothes laid out

• He knows it was Rowan and rolls his eyes

• He gets changed and looks in the mirror, catching a glance at his ring

• He starts hurting again, but decides to go on "for you, my loves. For both of you..."

• *Rowan's pov*

• Rowan is sad for his brother but is proud of him for making that big step

• He called for a town meeting in the castle's front grounds and is watching as Lorcan steps forward on the balcony

• Lorcan announces that Elide is dead and that he will continue to build Perranth if they will have him

• The town bows, as a sign of acceptance and for Elide

• Rowan knows it's going to be hard being away from Aelin for a while but Fenrys and Vaughn are there, and his brother needs him

Chapter 5

• It is 2 and a half months later

• *Fenrys pov*

• Aelin, Fenrys and Vaughn visit again

• Fenrys and Vaughn walk in first because Aelin got distracted by some cake

• They ask Rowan how Lorcan is, he says that he has his moments but he's been strong for Perranth

• Aelin walks in and there's an explosive reunion between the two so they go off, presumably to a bedroom

• Fenrys and Vaughn walk to the library to find Lorcan there

• They try to talk but Lorcan doesn't want to talk about it

• He instead asks why they're there

• Fenrys responds that they wanted to see their brother

• Lorcan asks for the truth

• Fenrys reveals that they have a mission and that they can't protect Aelin while on the mission so she's staying in Perranth for a while

• Lorcan isn't happy

• ~ Rowan is happy to have Aelin back

• They stumble out of a closet

• Fenrys and Vaughn are distraught as they see this

• They say they're leaving

• Rowan and Aelin wish them luck

Chapter 6

• Fenrys and Vaughn are riding through the mountains

• They talk about Lorcan

• Vaughn recalls how surprised he was to hear that Lorcan was married

• Fenrys responds that he missed a lot and tries to get info on where Vaughn was all this time, but he still won't tell

• Fenrys talks about how good Elide is and how happy Lorcan was with her and about being a dad

• "Out of all of us, he deserves that peace the most"

• Vaughn announces that he spotted the cave entrance, the one that the anonymous tip gave

• They tie up their horses and prepare, then go inside

• They go in further and eventually come across different paths so they decide to split up

• Fenrys scouts the hallways for a while, passing numerous rooms

• He hears footsteps so he ducks into a room quickly

• He freezes and waits for the footsteps to pass

• He exhales, is relieved, but then a voice startles him

• "What do you want"

• He swirls around, seeing darkness

• Then a candle is lit, and his eyes start to adjust

• "Fenrys? Is that you?"

• Fenrys cannot believe what he is seeing "Elide?"

Chapter 7

• Elide is happy to see Fenrys

• Fenrys is confused as to how she is alive, they saw her body being impaled and crushed

• Elide explains that the creature had another person in its hold-after all, it had 6 arms, and that she was dropped while the creature was running

• Elide understands how they could've believed she was dead

• She asks how Lorcan is

• Fenrys responds that he's breathing but only to run Perranth, for her

• Elide is sad

• Fenrys asks how she got there

• Elide says that after the creature dropped her and she passed out when she hit her head, she was found by some travelers. They took her to their home in the mountains and cared for her. They were behind on some debts and were taken, the people assumed Elide was one of them and took her as well, next thing she knows she is in this dark room alone

• Fenrys asks if she's ready to go home

• Elide is nearly crying, nodding

• He goes to check the hallways and when he turns back, Elide is wrapping a scrap piece of fabric around one shoulder, it slinging around her small frame

• Fenrys finds it weird but shrugs it off

• Then Elide is bending behind the bed and picking something up, putting it into the fabric so that it is held up

• Elide walks over to Fenrys, ready to go

• His breath catches as he sees that it's a baby

• "His name is Ragnar"

Chapter 8

• Fenrys is speechless, struck dumb at the realization that he didn't even consider the survival of the child. The first thing that comes to his mind is "its a boy?"

• Elide chuckles softly and responds with yes

• Fenrys is reminded of the situation and checks the hallway before pulling Elide behind him

• They manage to get out safely and go back to the horses

• They realize they have to wait for Vaughn

• Elide figures they have some time to kill and looks down fondly at Ragnar and says "do you want to meet your uncle fenrys?"

• Fenrys is near tears when he hears her

• Elide asks "do you want to hold him"

• Fenrys is hesitant but Elide assures him that it will be fine, he won't bite

• Fenrys is amazed at how light and small he is. Also how beautiful. He definitely looks like Lorcan.

• Elide ask for water, Fenrys says that its in the pack around the horse

• Vaughn comes back and stops when he sees Fenrys and the baby

• ".... did you steal a baby?"

• Fenrys looks up and smiles

• Vaughn is confused but then he sees Elide coming around the horse

• He is in disbelief, and his confusion of the baby is resolved when Fenrys hands him back to Elide

• Fenrys says he'll explain later, they have to get them home

Chapter 9

• *Elide's pov*

• Long ride, thinking of her time and much she misses Lorcan

• Vaughn was able to go a little faster as Fenrys did not want to harm Ragnar, only a mile ahead or so

• Because of that, when Fenrys and Elide arrived, Vaughn was already searching for Lorcan in the castle

• Elide hands Ragnar to Fenrys and slides down the horse

• Aelin and Rowan were in the nearby garden so they came out at all the commotion

• Aelin cries when she sees Elide and runs to hold her

• They are both crying

• Elide looks over and sees Rowan then goes to hug him

• She pulls back, looks at them both and says "would you like to meet your nephew?"

• Aelin gasps as Fenrys steps forward with Ragnar

• Fenrys looks at Elide and she nods

• Rowan has tears in his eyes as Fenrys hands Ragnar to him

• The front door burst open and suddenly Lorcan is there, panting

• Elide sobs as she sees him and start making her way toward him

• Lorcan runs to her and they meet halfway

• Lorcan picks her up and holds her, small kisses in between words

• Lorcan "Elide, Elide"

• Elide "I've missed you so much"

• Lorcan "It's really you"

• Elide "Yes, yes, it's me"

• Lorcan "I love you so fucking much, you are never allowed to leave my sight, ever"

• They share a big kiss and both have tears running down their faces

• Lorcan "I was so lost without you"

• Elide "You seem to have found your way just fine"

• Lorcan "No... I kept going, for Perranth, for you... but I broke down everyday"

• Elide is speechless, "Lorcan..."

• Lorcan "Now that you're here, I can finally breathe again"

• Another kiss

• Lorcan rests with his eyes closed, breathing in her scent

• Elide "Do you want to see your son?"

• Lorcan's breath catches as his eyes shoot open. He takes a few stuttering breaths before asking "I have a son?"

• He looks over at Rowan who is now standing a few feet away

• Rowan is smiling down at the babe

• Elide walks over and takes Ragnar from Rowan, then walks back to Lorcan

• Lorcan is barely breathing at this point

• Elide places Ragnar into Lorcan's arms

• Lorcan "My son"

• Elide steps closer and says "I've named him Ragnar"

• L "My Ragnar"

• Ragnar opens his eyes at Lorcan

Chapter 10 (Final Chapter)

• Elide and Lorcan are laying in bed with Ragnar in the middle

• Elide and Ragnar are asleep, Lorcan is not

• Lorcan gazed lovingly at his son

• Elide wakes up and sees that Lorcan is awake

• Elide "you need to get some sleep"

• Lorcan "I can't"

• There's a look

• Lorcan "I've had many dreams like this, where you come back and we have our child and we are finally a family... but then I wake up. And it kills me every time"

• Elide reaches over to rest her hand above his, which is resting lightly on Ragnar's stomach "this is real, my love"

• Lorcan looks at Ragnar and decides that it is real, because even his dreams could not picture his son being so beautiful

• He is reminded of how he felt when she told him he was pregnant, and how his fears ranged throughout her pregnancy

• Then he remembers that she went through childbirth alone and is heartbroken and angry

• Lorcan "I am so sorry"

• Elide "For what?"

• Lorcan "You brought our son into this world by yourself"

• Elide has a moment and then says "It was hard. But I kept hearing your voice, telling me to stay strong so that we could- so that we could be a family. In a way, you were there"

• Lorcan grabs her hand and kisses it as not to disturb Ragnar

• Elide whispers "I love you" before drifting off to sleep

• Lorcan kisses Ragnar's head and strokes Elide's hand as he says "I love you too"

• He falls asleep

• ~ Lorcan wakes up to find Elide and Ragnar gone and starts freaking out, thinking it truly was a dream again

• Then Elide walks out of the bathroom, holding Ragnar to her chest

• He sighs in relief

• Elide says to Ragnar "Look who's awake"

• Elide settles into bed next to Lorcan

• Lorcan kisses Elide deeply, the fear that had pulsed through his body still causing him to think irrationally

• Lorcan "it wasn't a dream"

• Elide "I told you"

• Lorcan smiles and looks down at Ragnar "and how's my boy?"

• Ragnar is looking around the room and his eyes rest on Lorcan, then his arms reach out towards him

• Elide "I think he wants his papa"

• Lorcan takes Ragnar from Elide as she say that she's going to take a bath

• Elide "Tonight, Aelin and Rowan are going to watch Ragnar"

• Lorcan "What? Why?" He just got his son, and he wants to spend time with him

• Elide "Because we have a lot of catching up to do" she winks and pulls her nightgown off before walking into the bathroom

• Lorcan is left staring after her, thanking the universe, the dead gods, whatever the hell is out there for this moment, for his family

#elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #aelin galythinius #aelin ashryver galathynius #rowan whitethorn #fenrys moonbeam #throne of glass #crown of midnight #heir of fire #empire of storms #kingdom of ash #queen of shadows #elorcan #rowaelin

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queenlilith43 · 3 years ago

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Reasons Why Post Plus is a Terrible Idea

Tumblr has recently unveiled their new "Post Plus" feature. It allows people to put a paywall around their blogs, allowing them to charge up to $9.99 a month, with Tumblr taking a 5% cut of the creator's earnings. In this post, I will explain why this is a horrible idea.

@staff: You better listen up. I took a few hours away from my day for this. I had to have my friend Ashley help me with this, and that took time from her day too. (Thank you @patalliumapples) I'm explaining everything under the cut because this is long.

1. We Don't Have the Money

First of all, Tumblr is a social media site. This means in countries like the US, people as young as 13 can sign up and have an account. Most teenagers do not have the money to keep up with their favorite blogs for the low, low price of $9.99!

Second of all, a lot of adults on the site already are having trouble paying their bills, and don't have any content they would be willing to charge people on. As explained in this post, people are already struggling. (They also explain how to support creators better, which I will go onto later.) They don't have the money to spend on this. I, as a teenager myself, don't have enough money to spend to unlock Tumblr blogs. I don't know if I even can, I don't have a credit card or anything, and I don't want debt before I'm out of high school. Oh, and that leads me right next into the next point.

2. You could fix other things

Tumblr is called a Hellsite for many reasons, and how it breaks a lot is one of them. One problem are the Ray-Bans sunglasses bots that hack the site every so often. I have gotten one, Ashley has gotten three.

You can also barely even search on this website. Searching for tags brings up the randomest things. You can barely even search your own blog, this is how bad it is. Fixing those issues before we give you our credit card number would be a great thing.

3. People don't want it

The consensus so far is NO. In some cases, "FUCK NO" This is valid, people don't want it. We can't pay for it, and we really don't need it. Everyone hates it.

And you bet that the Tumblr-famous will try this out.

I, as of writing this, have 416 followers. I bet all of them would leave me if I tried to do a paid post. (Not like I can, I'm a broke teenager, but still.) That would limit the market.

And other people have expressed they would leave anyone who put their posts behind a paywall, such as in this newly-viral post.

4. Monetization of fanfic

Alright. *Cracks fingers* I get to show off my knowledge of copyright law.

Fair use that covers fanfiction does not cover having to pay for it. Monetization of fanfiction is not legal, and if someone tries, the original content creator can issue a DMCA takedown order. The person who posted and monetized the fanfiction will be forced to take down their post, hurting their earnings. This will affect Tumblr.

Also, as we saw recently with a Loki T-shirt on Etsy, big corporations are known for taking down anything they consider infringement, even if it falls under fair use. There was a scare a while back on Ao3 (Archive of Our Own) that Disney would take down their fanfiction, but Ao3 had a legal time that can fight for them. Tumblr probably does not, and would probably lose a legal battle against Disney.

In fact, Ao3 does not allow any sort of links to other monetizable websites, like Pateron and Ko-fi, on their platform to avoid potential legal trouble. It's included in their terms of service, which you can read here. I would recommend it, and to check out some other links. They explain legal issues quite well.

And as satirized in this post, trying to find posts on Tumblr for a DMCA takedown is pretty damn hard.

5. You can get around paying for a post through the reblogs.

Despite the fact that is something you're technically not supposed to do, people can just copy and paste the content. The fact is if anyone has a Post Plus post, you bet the entirety of Tumblr is going to get around that. After all "you can share a teaser of +Post Content through the reblog function on the Services" (From the Tumblr TOS)

6. We've had mirror sites that could probably get around the paywall

In the past, we have had many mirror sites. They are the exact mirror of our Tumblr, tracking everything right down to our reblogs. Last I heard they were all shut down, though Tumbex sounded like it was going to come back. If these mirror sites are smart enough, they would be another way around the paywall.

7. You can't block people who are paying for your content

This is a problem. People can harass you, and sometimes, this Hellsite won't take them off. The block button is an important tool. I, for one, currently have 11 people blocked for various reasons. Some of them were messing with me in the reblogs of a post (it wasn't even their place to do so) and I didn't think Tumblr would count this as harassment.

If you can't block people, and even with the risk of it hurting your earnings, it's not good. Even remotely.

8. There are other ways to support creators that are much better.

As said in the very first reason, creators hate this Post Plus. They prefer being supported in other ways. People also don’t always want to be paid for the content (not even counting legal issues) And if they want to there are already platforms set up for them to use. For example, Pateron has tiers you can set up for membership, ranging up to $100. There, you know what you walked into. You’re not expecting free content, like on Tumblr, you’re building a relationship with the people in your community. Ko-fi lets people donate directly to their content creators, and won’t take any of their donations, unlike the 5% cut Tumblr is planning on taking. Both platforms also offer features that would not be available on Tumblr. Creators are also more likely to already have one of these set up, and keep Tumblr for their free content.

9. Tumblr could make money through better ads

Tumblr ads are famously . . . what’s the word? Ah, yes, “batshit” is the word I’m looking for. I’ve gotten ads for tattoo aftercare, signs of heart disease (the picture provided was someone with their nails painted blue), maps of the USA, celebrities that has passed away, lists of bad cities in my state, graphics of chickens with Hindi (note: I am American), and apparently now I should be worried if my dog licks their paws. (?) As I went to check my dash while writing this post, I saw a small air cooler that was apparently more powerful than A/C being advertised.

No one clicks on them except for a laugh, or if they accidentally thought it was something that was actually interesting. Most of the time, it is not. Tumblr could do something like Instagram and actually have good ads and make more money off of it. It may not be as much as they thought they were going to make, but it’s better than what they have now. (It’s a low bar.)

10. This is the same website that spearheaded DashCon

You remember DashCon, don’t you?

This seems to illustrate the website's stupidity in one picture and this is why you shouldn't trust us with money.

If you have any other reasons why this is bad reason, reblog the post with your reasons. I'd like to hear them, and don't forget to tag the staff.

There is a survey Tumblr wants you to fill out here, it's a step you can take. You can also listen to the protest @postplus-protest which should help. It starts August 6th, it's going to be a great time.

#tumblr #tw caps #tw cursing #posts plus #this is screwed

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awesomerextyphoon · 4 years ago

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Slit Reflection

This is my entry for @jtargaryen18’s Haunted House 2020 Challenge. Mine was Sam Wilson. Credit for dividers goes to @firefly-graphics. Check them out!

Summary: You’ve always loved Halloween, especially the haunted house at the edge of the woods. So happens when the ‘Star Spangled Trio’ enters the mix?

Pairing: Demon King!Sam Wilson x Black!Reader (Fem)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 3,054

Warning: Kidnapping, Forced Marriage, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Stalking, Breeding Kink, Mentions of Torture, and Non-Con/Dub-Con Smut. You have been warned.

Back to Masterlist

You’ve always loved Halloween. It was your birthday and the haunted house at the edge of the woods gave the best spooks and thrills. It was your first Halloween after undergrad and this year was different.

The Star Spangled Trio were celebrity guests and they were bringing two of the old rooms back!

It took you six days to get a ticket. You tried getting one online, every shop in town, but got nothing.

Finally, a new face at the library took pity on you and gave you the last ticket along with a book on demon folklore. You thanked the new librarian and rushed out of the building. Had you looked back you would’ve noticed a smirk on their face and their sclera and pupils turning black and gold respectively.

Halloween—the day of your birth—was here, and it was shit. Your toothbrush broke, your car refused to start, the job that you desperately wanted was dashed by yet another rejection email, and both your student loan and rent checks bounced. You just need to get through today.

You missed the cutoff, but got in because the person working the line was a family friend. Anxiously, you wait in line wondering how the haunted house in your small ass town managed to nab the Star Spangled Trio when you noticed the excited expressions of the people leaving. Now you’re super anxious.

By the time you entered the haunted house, you’re doing the breathing exercises to calm yourself. This was it! You were finally going to meet your all time heroes (and possible spank bank entries)!

The first few rooms were your typical haunted house fare which you loved, but were secondary to your excitement in seeing your heroes. Maybe you could get an autograph and hug from them!

You were about to follow the person in front of you into the haunted house’s hospital room when you noticed a light flickering to your left. It revealed a door done in the Neo-classical design with some Latin text engraved in the middle (had you studied Latin , you would’ve known that the text read “Reveal yourself, my beloved”).

Opening the door, you saw that it lead to the Hall of Mirrors. This part of the haunted house was always a favorite of yours, but both the itinerary and the ticket worker said that it was closed this year. The hall itself was chillingly quite and pristine as if no one else had stepped foot inside this season.

All of the mirrors looked standard for the haunted house; some of them made you laugh or briefly catch your breath. The one at the end of the hall caught you off-guard. It was at least 12ft (about 3.66m) high with intricate carvings of characters out of dark folklore and a single diagonal slit.

You were about to turn away when you saw nothing thinking it was a small haunted house joke at your expense when the mirror flashed.

In your place was the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, but it still looked like you..sort of. Your hair was long, luxurious and gently flowing. Your eyebrows, eyelashes, and nails were immaculate. Your nose was adorably broad and your lips were sensually full (the type of full women would shell hundred’s if not thousands of dollars for). You wore a diadem with thick gold chains ladened with diamonds, onyx, and rubies and around your neck was a ruby and onyx amulet. You were dressed in a loose, yet sleeveless form-fitting Vivaldi red gown with hints of fiery red and a thin rosewood colored shoulder veil connected to the dress by a ruby broach in the middle of your cleavage.

You looked about four or five inches taller and the mirror version of you made you feel nervous about your curves being out on display.

Curious, you reached out to touch the mirror. Your hand was less than a centimeter away when your mirrored self opened it eyes. Suddenly, it grew curved horns and its eyes glowed pale gold.

The mirrored version of you grabbed your outstretched arm and dragged you through the mirror all while you screamed hoping someone would come to your rescue, but to no avail.

Samael, or ‘Sam’ was notified of your departure and the trio had to excuse themselves from the festivities to congratulate Sam on finding his bride.

You woke up with a start and shout clawing the air but stopped once you realized that you weren’t falling anymore. Instead, you were in a huge, opulent room filled with treasures that not even Windsor Castle had. Curiosity seemed to have taken hold of you because you walked out onto the connecting balcony to find that you were on a different planet/dimension/realm, whatever!

There were floating landmasses (the smallest of which was the size of your small town) and five planets ranging from Moonbow Gold to Venetian Red in color.

You thought about where the fuck you were and how you could get back home when a voice interrupted your thoughts.

The source of the voice was a demon with Antique Ruby skin with reddish gray undertones and Cinnabar and Rosewood colored hair. She had two short outward curved horns with a gold chain and aquamarine teardrop connecting them. Her eyes were an inviting aqua blue eyes with a dark red sclera.

“Hello! My name is Scheherazade, but you can call me Sherry. I’m your Lady in Waiting. I’ve brought some food.” Sherry offered as she set the tray of food on a small table next to a dresser.

You smiled cautiously at your new elevated handmaiden,”Do you know why I’m-”

“Oh, I almost forgot! We need to get you ready for your presentation!”

The Fuck?!

“What do you mean ‘presentation’?,” you asked as nicely as possible, but reality came out more like a demand.

Sherry stopped her ministrations and faced you,”Well, when the monarch, crown prince, or princess declares their mate, they are presented to the royal court,” she then returned to her task of finding a suitable dress for you not catching the mortified expression on your face.

This day can’t get any worse. Wait?

“What time is it?”

“Oh, yes, It’s pretty much always night here. The sun only comes out for three hours. Would you look at the time! Everyone’s waiting!”

“One last question,” you started as Sherry began dressing you,”Who am I marrying?”

“Why my second cousin, King Samael, one of the Three Demon Kings, of course!”

You fought the impulse to faint.

It took thirty minutes for Sherry to make you look unrecognizable. Thankful for her assistance, you followed the floating torches to the throne room. The throne room was an enormous room with high wide vaulted arches, delicately carved pillars and columns, and a small bridge connecting the ground at the door to the center. The court comprised of beautiful yet fearsome demons of all shapes and sizes.

The king himself was seated on a grand, ornate throne atop a huge dais with at least 25 steps. He seemed familiar.

As soon as you were passed the threshold, the king raised his head and everyone stopped talking and cleared a path for you. Several courtiers whispered as you striddled towards the dais. When you finally reached the dais, the king got off his throne and walked down the steps to greet you.

You almost face-palmed. The king was Sam Wilson! Or at least, looked like him.

Sam for his part was devastatingly handsome. He had a tall, powerful build, broad shoulders, bulging biceps, muscular thighs, short well-kept hair and beard with surprisingly kind eyes.

“You’re even more beautiful than I imagined,” Sam uttered as he pulled you in for a hug. You could’ve sworn he sniffed your hair, but you didn’t want to go into that right now.

“Everyone!” The court turned to the throne,” Thank you for coming. I have finally found my bride. We will be married tomorrow night!” Sam exclaimed to thunderous cheers and applause. He slipped on a magnificent ruby and diamond engagement ring with a black gold band.

You could not believe this, “I can’t-,” you started, but Sam discreetly grabbed your wrist, “Pre-wedding jitters,” and led you to a side room.

You expected him to hit or yell at you like so many other royals in a similar setting, but instead he gave a sad smile and asked if you were truly happy in your old life. You thought about your crushing debt, little to no job prospects, both parents dead, no friends and you had to admit your life did suck, but he didn’t get to decide.

Disappointed, Sam casted a small compliance spell and pulled you in for a kiss. Your pupils blew out in lust and you lost yourself. When he finally decided to break for air, Sam stated that you will be his bride and he will not be denied any longer. You smiled and gave him a short but passionate kiss. He moaned but had to end it before he went too far.

Tomorrow night he promised himself.

He quickly called for Sherry to return you to your quarters.

Sherry woke you up the next ‘morning’ with a small army of beauty experts and maids.

“Rise and shine, Your Grace! We’ve got a bride to present!” Sherry proclaimed.

Damn it! It wasn’t a nightmare.

They managed to stuff you into a marvel of a wedding dress. It was a Torch Red long-sleeved mermaid wedding dress with soft yet detailed lace work made to look like an enchanted forest, diamond, dark ruby and pearl beads, and a floor length train. On your head was a black gold spiked sunburst goddess with deep ruby roses and a simple ruby teardrop chain that rested on your forehead, the ends of which were wrapped around your horns.

“Not even Lilith could compare, Your Grace!” Sherry gushed at her handiwork.

The wedding procession and ceremony was done in a swift fashion as Sam didn’t want to wait much longer. The vows were short as well. You wanted to object, call for help, anything but a voice in the back of your mind beat you to it.

A couple hours into the wedding festivities, Sam announced that it was time for he and his new queen to retire and led you to his quarters. It’s the fanciest suite you’ve ever seen dripping with luxurious reds, violets, and obsidian.

In all your awing of Sam’s quarters, you failed to notice him approaching you in only a simple loose shirt and trousers. He gently put his hands on your exposed shoulders,”Alone at last, my love.”

You recoiled, “Can’t we wait for a few days? It’s just…” you trailed off as soon as his jovial expression vanished replaced with something darker and hungrier.

“I’ve waited for so long to have you here with me, love,” Sam confessed while you moved towards the exit,”and I will not be denied any longer!”

In an instant, Sam pulled you in for a demanding kiss. He pushed his tongue past your lips moaning when your tongue tepidly danced with his own and from the sweet taste of your mouth. He pushed you onto a bed that had to three times the size of a California King and his lips moved jaw and neck, egged on by needy whimpers and moans.

He took his time ripping off your gown, enjoying the view like a child on Christmas, ”Fuck, you’re so beautiful. Utter perfection,” Sam murmured as he watched your breasts bounced free. He alternated between sucking and pinching your nipples with his hands and mouth,”I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispered in your left ear and he continued to play with your breasts like a concert-level musician. All the while moaned and cried out feeling pleasure you never thought possible.

Once satisfied with his handiwork with your chest, Sam’s hands roamed over your stomach and hips followed by strategically placed butterfly kisses that made you squirm. He tore off the last of your wedding gown causing you to hiss at the sudden sensation of cold air touching your pussy.

You used your last bit of willpower to plead, “Please stop! I’ve never-,” Sam stopped and raised his head to look at you.

“I know, love. I’ll be your first and only,” and with that, he gives your folds one long, slow lick and growled at your sweet and tangy taste, “I’ve wondered how you’d taste. You’re even better than the best Kharian wine. I could get used to this.”

He dove back in and played your pussy for all it was worth. His tongue worked its magic stroking and circling your clit sending you higher and higher into euphoria. Sam kept you right on the edge of an orgasm, just enough to beg for release.

“Say you’re mine!,” you mewled in response, to blissed out to use words. “Say it or I’ll leave!”

“Please let me cum, My King!” you cried out when he thrusted two fingers into your pussy.

“That’s a good girl. Now,”Sam started as he vigorously rubbed your pussy,”cum for me, love.”

Your orgasm came like a tsunami and Sam made sure finish his feast.

You got out of your post-oral haze to see Sam looming over in all his naked glory. His body must’ve been made by the gods because it was divine. His frame was an ode to sexiness wrapped in sinful warm sepia skin.

Sam caught you biting your lower lip and cocked his head, “Like what you see?”

Damn that cocky bastard, but damn if he wasn’t right. Part of you wanted to fuck his brains out…and that was before you saw his cock. Standing proud and erect with angry veins, his cock had to be the biggest you’ve ever seen (not like you had much exposure, just a few pornos).

Sam crawled up to you, lifted your chin and gave a soft kiss on the lips sensing your unease, “Relax, love,” He then lined his cock to your entrance and slid in as gently as he could.

You hissed from the pain, he was just so damn big. Sam praised you on how well you fit around him like ‘you were made for him’. Once the pain subsided, you bucked your hips into his causing him to moan at the sensation. He smiled at your eagerness and picked up the pace, making his thrusts come out to just the tip was in you and slamming back into you. You cried out his name each time he filled you to the hilt, pleading with him to go faster. Soon he reached your G-Spot causing to orgasm again, this time with you crossing your eyes and coming with a squirt.

Not too long after your second orgasm, Sam came with an otherworldly roar and glowing bright gold eyes shooting rope after rope of thick cum into your womb. He then flipped you onto your stomach and forced you onto your hands and knees so that he could take you from behind.

He got ten orgasms from you, each one more mind-blowing than the last. Once he was satisfied, he let you sleep.

“Soon you will be round with my seed, and we will have many children. I can’t wait.”

Ah hour after you closed your eyes, Sam left his, now yours, quarters. “Make sure she doesn’t leave,” he orders the guards although, he’s confident that she’s not going anywhere with the way he hammered her.

He strode down the corridors until he reached the dungeon. There, he found a rather nice looking apartment-style cell with only one prisoner, your mother.

“I’ve taken your daughter. Do you want to see her before you go?”

You see, Samael, Mikael (Bucky), and Stelios (Steve) were demon warlords who began conquering kingdoms left and right 1200yrs ago. They fought their way to the last free kingdom, Kharan. By the time your grandparents were brought before them, they had killed your uncle, the heir to the throne. The king and queen begged for their lives and the kingdom to be spared.

The trio agreed on one condition: if the next child the queen bears is a girl, then she would be Sam’s mate (Mikael and Stelios already had mates).

The king reluctantly agreed. The queen gave birth four months later to a girl, but she was in demon form. The queen had two of her most trusted attendants spirit the child away to another realm and raised her as their own.

Sam had your grandparents slaughtered and razed Kharan to the ground for their trickery. No matter, he was immortal. He would bide his time.

Eventually, your mother was told about her true parentage and form. She learned to control her powers, found love and she too was with child.

Sam found her a week before she went into labor and said that it was time to collect. She promised you in her stead immediately in hopes that it would buy her some time.

It did. She was able to pass you, a cambion, off to a friend of hers who wanted a child but couldn’t conceive and gave Sam a fake baby. He had your mother thrown into the dungeons.

Sam searched for you, but discovered that your mother put a cloaking spell on you. So, he approached your mother with a deal: her freedom for you becoming his mate.

It took your mother three years of torture for her to say yes.

Once the spell was lifted, Sam went to work. He made sure your adopted parents had a little ‘accident’ when you were old enough to take care of yourself, made sure that no one would want to hire you, and saddled you with debt. He even got Mikael and Stelios to pose as ‘The Star Spangled Trio’ with him to finally get you to the Hall of Mirrors.

Your mother bowed her head in shame, “No. It’s best for her to believe that I don’t exist.”

Sam unlocked the cell door with a simple spell, “You’re free to go. Have a nice life,” and returned to his quarters to be with his mate and queen.

Your mother took one last look at the palace,”I’m sorry, my little moon and stars,” and disappeared into the night.

Taglist: @jtargaryen18 @threeminutesoflife @giorno-plays-piano @lookiamtrying @sherrybaby14 @opheliadawnwalker3 @life-of-yn @mcudarklibrary @marvelfansworld @imdarkinme @sapphirescrolls @samingtonwilson @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @pseudonymphet @dahkness @saiyanprincessswanie @golden-ariess @chixkencxrry @anyatheladyclown @stargazingfangirl18 @saint-bvcky @cherienymphe @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @cockslut-padalecki

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depressedacadamia · 3 years ago

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How do you passive aggresively say fuck you in flower? Part II

Summary: It seems that Nico and Will just cant stop running into each other

A/N: FIRST WEEK OF EXAMS OVER, ONLY ONE WEEK TO GO!! Unfortunately, I am not able to write a lot due to tedious revision but I wrote this part 2 a while ago and thought that today would be the perfect time to release it! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and comment! <3 from me!

Read on AO3 Read Part I on tumblr

They were not expecting to see each other the next day at Uni. In fact, Will was so shocked, he had to pause and squint at the raven haired boy to check that he was the same as the customer 2 days ago. What was this dude doing here? This was the medical college!

Oh shit, what if he’s a new med student or a transfer student?

However, while it seemed that Will had noticed Nico, it seemed that Nico had not noticed Will; he couldn’t have been more appalled as he was ignored and he simply watched in despair as the italian jogged past him without a moment's pause. Not even a Hey, you’re the guy I made out with yesterday, right?

Will was used to having all his past hookups follow him like a sheep and sure, he hadn’t really hooked up with Nico but he was for some reason expecting some sort of reaction from him. Was he that forgettable?

He felt someone dig their elbow into his ribs and was about to shout What the fuck before he realised that Calypso was elbowing him.

“Calypso what!” He winced as he rubbed at his side, still in pain from Calypso’s pointy elbows.

“Do you think I should invite Leo to the dorm party?”

Will’s head perked up. “ Leo? Leo valdez?”

“Yes Leo Valdez, who else?” Calypso sighed.

“I thought you saw him making out with some guy at another party and then proceeded to pretend you never liked him in the first place-”

“- Which is true! I never liked Leo in the first place, he was just a friend!” Calypso desperately defended.

“Everytime someone says they’re just a friend and not they’re just my friend, you know that they’ve crushed on them.”

“Shut up.” Calypso whacked her bag over Will’s head, ignoring his shouts of protests.

Will’s hands instinctively went over his head, tucking his chin in to prevent himself from gaining any brain damage from Calypso. “ Hey, Hey! I work for you, little shit!”

“Exactly, I can fire you any second I want to!” Calypso boasted before remembering something. “ Wasn’t there a request that came in on Saturday? Something like fuck you?”

Will could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. “ Uh, yeah, maybe. I don’t really remember.”

Calypso recognised that tone. That tone was the same tone used during the walk of shame, that tone meant things that she did not want in her shop. Turning her head only halfway, she gave Will a grimace, praying that it hadn’t happened again.

“William Andrew Solace, Please please tell me that you didn’t have sex with another client in my shop!”

“For once,” Will smirked. “ For once, I can actually say that I didn’t.”

Calypso sighed in relief, all the tension in her body simply oozing out all at once. Her shoulders dropped and the tense expression on her face was replaced by her regular small smile that she constantly wore, causing her to seem quite shy, which technically she was.

“You know, you seriously have some nerve Callie, hitting your employees like that. That could be harassment. What happened to the shy girl who could tell me the latin name for any plant out there?”

“Just because I don’t hook up with every good looking breathing thing, does not mean I’m shy.” She put her hands on her hips and took several confident steps while swaying her hips before hitting a hard chest with a thud and feeling the hard floor on her butt. Frustrated, she huffed and without even looking at the perpetrator, began to shout,

“Are you blind or stupid? Look where you’re going for fuck sake.” She ignored the offered hand and got up herself, brushing her scraped hands on her pants.

It was only when Will nudged her, not very discreetly may I add, that she noticed that it was Leo Valdez who was offering the outstretched hand and another very scary looking dude standing by Leo. However, something about him seemed familiar- from the shape of his body to his hair and in particular his jawline. She remembered seeing it somewhere.

Fuck, that was the guy Leo was making out with at that party. She realised.

Simultaneously, Will was thinking- Fuck, that was Nico di Angelo.

“Sorry Leo, Calypso,” Will turned to her, completely avoiding Nico. “ Do you have anything you’d like to say to Leo?”

Claypso gave a bitter look to Will before remebering that Leo fucking Valdez was standing infront of her and she had essentialy told him to fuck off. She had to fight the blush rising to the tip of her ears and could only manage to muster a small pipsqueak of ‘sorry’ while looking down at the floor and having her face curtained by her chestnut hair.

Unexpectedly, she felt a hand move the hair out of her face and slip and finger underneath her chin and tilt it up slightly.

“The least you could do while apologising is look at him,” Nico snarled, standing off to the side, watching as Leo brushed her hair out of the way. Leo turned his head to raise an eyebrow that meant Not cool dude before looking back at Calypso, his eyes warm and his smile generous.

“Sorry about him, he’s running low on social interaction juice. Are you okay there?”

Calypso thought she could feel herself gaping- the worst part was that her little shit of a friend Will pointed it out.

“Close your mouth Callie, you’ll get flies. It’s impolite to stare as well,” Will drawled, his eyes still glued away from Nico. Leo glanced at Calypso’s injured hands, the small scrapes and the little cuts across her palms. His frown was cute, with his eyebrows scrunching up and his eyes pooled with concern as he took her hands in his.

“Oh, Dios mio. I’m so sorry- will you forgive me if I clean these up for you?” Leo held her hands gently, as to not hurt her.

Will butted in before Calypso could respond. “Uh, no, that’s not necessary. I can help her from here!”

Nico snorted. “ Yeah, the med- student definitely knows how to clean up his cuts.”

Will growled in response, unappreciative of Nico’s sarcasm. Leo’s frown in concern only grew, the small displays of guilt visible across his face. “ Are you sure? It’s the least I could do after causing you to fall.”

“No it's fine-”

“-Will, calm down. Yes, I’ll go, but you also owe me,” Calypso confirmed. You know your worth, you know your worth, She chanted in her head.

“Well well, a person who knows what they want, of course, I am in your debt. After you.” Leo pointed to the pavement ahead as he left Will and Nico alone. Nico looked Will up and down before letting out a little snort and walking off, not before giving him a little shove with his shoulder as he walked past.

Will was officially outraged. Who the fuck did this guy think he was? First of all, he was barging into the medical college when he didn’t even attend it, then he was barging him to the floor without even apologising and then laughing about it!

Will turned around while still on the floor and yelled. “Who the fuck do you think you’re pushing dipshit?”

Will really thought he had the upper hand. He was taller, felt he was relatively stronger and his reflexes were okay. But when he saw Percy Jackson, Jason Grace, Piper Mclean, Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang and Annabeth Chase all crowd round Nico, he felt he was the most screwed person in the world. Luckily for him, no one except a girl with brown skin and confused expression turned around.

Will recognised her as Piper Mclean- she had been voted most beautiful girl in the entire Uni. It was rumoured for a while that she and Jason were dating but ever since Will spotted Piper blushing near a new girl, he highly doubted it. Piper raised an eyebrow and Will gave a sheepish smile as he tried to get up.

Piper scurried over, giving her friends a quick wave before running over to help Will. He accepted her hand, mainly because he was terrified that she may kill him if he didn’t.

“Did Nico knock you down here?” Piper asked as Will heaved himself up. Her voice was sweet, soft and had some element that convinced Will that he could trust her; however, at the same time, he didn’t want to snitch on Nico. He gave a blatant shrug and hoped for the best.

“Don’t worry, Nico always teases people he likes. Little idiot isn’t good at showing any emotion other than being horny or being an arsehole.”

“Are you sure those are emotions?”

“I take psychology so I sure as hell hope they are,” Piper confessed, laughing a bit. Will finally realised why everybody considered Piper so beautiful- she wasn’t just a pretty person, she was a nice person. She went out of her way to help others.

“I take medicine so I’m going to hope for the best that Nico doesn’t kill me. He avoids like I’m the plague then acts like he’s planning on murdering me in my sleep.”

“Wait.” Piper paused before turning to Will with a manic grin on her face. “Are you the guy from the flower shop who made the fuck you bouquet and slept with Nico?”

“We didn’t sleep together!”

But Piper wasn’t listening, she was calling Hazel over. Will watched as a girl with gorgeous dark skin that glowed in the sunlight and a tattoo over her left hand turned her head ever so slightly. Will realised why they called her Death’s sister.

She was undoubtedly beautiful but her silent aura was terrifying, like it was driving you to death itself. Large brown eyes that invited you into the darkness and hands that looked sculpted for leading one to their doom.

“Hey Hazelnut! This is the guy who stole Nico from Leo! And he made the Fuck you bouquet that Annabeth gave Percy!”

Will could feel his heart pounding as Hazel left the group and walked slowly to Piper and Will, her expression never changing. Suddenly, when she was close enough to throw a punch, she broke out into a childish grin and started squealing.

“So you’re the one who made Percy that bouquet!” Hazel grabbed Will’s hands and started shaking them excitedly. She giggled before giving them back to him.

“What does making Percy this bouquet have to do with any of this? I only knew Nico because we made out like once and then the fucker blanked me.”

“That’s my little brother you're talking about,” Hazel warned. Will instantly felt his eyes widened in horror before apologizing profusely; he remembered what Nico had told him about his sister and how the two of them had grown up. Hazel laughed before telling him that she was only joking and that he should let loose a bit.

“Was Nico with Leo when he ignored you? Leo Valdez? About yee tall, messy brown hair and ink on his overalls?”

“Yes…” Will nodded.

“Ahhh, that explains it. Those two have a complicated history. He was probably ignoring you because he and Leo might have gotten back together. Or maybe he just didn’t want Leo to know that he made out with you. Or…” Piper let out a grin that Will had no desire to learn the true meaning of.

“Maybe he was just using Leo to make you jealous,” Piper explained, very much used to the drama herself between Nico and Leo. If it wasn’t Percy and Annabeth, Nico and Leo were almost always in an argument.

“So…” Will was deadly silent for a second while his rage began to simmer. “ Are you telling me he cheated on that Leo kid with me?”

“ I really hope not,” Hazel grimaced, looking back at her brother.

“The little fucker,” Will muttered under his breath as he pushed past the two ladies and made his way towards the remaining group. He didn’t care that he was going to run into Percy Jackson, whom he’d had an underlying grudge with for as long as he’d been going to school, he was furious.

How dare he cheat with him. What was Will, some slut who ruined relationships? Hell no. Sure, he slept around but he didn’t go around getting into relationships and creating drama. One night stands were his protocol.

“You!” Will pointed at Nico viciously, his finger almost touching Nico’s nose. The rest of the group simply watched with amusement as Piper held back Jason, whispering who exactly Will was.

“You little cheating seething whore! What the fuck dude! You just make out with whoever you buy shit from?”

“I don't remember you having much of a problem with it.” Nico shrugged, only infuriating Will that much more. He was so tempted to just punch him then and there, in front of everybody including 6 of the most intimidating people he’d ever seen.

“I don't remember you mentioning you had a boyfriend before you jumped me,” Will spat. Nico seemed a little shocked at that comment, his lips shaping into a small ‘o’ before he let a sultry smirk spread across his face in a manner that showed he was relatively proud of himself, only pissing Will off so much more.

Why was the damned bastard smirking?

“Huh, what boyfriend?” Nico turned to Annabeth. “ Hey, Annie, do I have a boyfriend?”

Annabeth looked down at her watch for dramatic effect. “As of 4 months, you have been boyfriend free,” She started and only continued when she saw the smug look on Nico’s face. “That said, that does not mean you have been booty call free for said months.”

“What do you mean!” Nico cried.

“Oh shut it Nico, everyone knows that you and Leo have been playing each other’s booty call for ages now. Just end it and go out with the florist dude,” Frank scoffed.

“Or don’t! The florist dude sounds like a real ass!” Percy cut in, desperate to not let Nico go out with his lifelong nemesis, William Andrew Solace.

“Oh look, it’s Perseus,” Will taunted. Percy felt himself going red and the entire group went quiet. Will looked around, wondering why everyone was silent.

“Oh, you guys don’t know?” Will smirked, looking directly at Percy, the knowledge on the tip of his tongue. “ That’s what everybody called Percy in middle school, after we learnt the myth of P-”

The rest of the sentence was muffled as Will felt a hand wrap itself around his mouth. He looked up and saw the sea green eyes that read Shut the fuck up . Will, feeling nostalgia from this certain situation, smirked and stuck his tongue out, licking Percy’s hands, eliciting a yelp of disgust from Percy.

“Dude! Why do you always do that! Every fucking time I’m trying to shut you up, you pull shit like this!”

“You’re telling me that wasn’t the first time you tried to ‘shut him up’?” Nico and Annabeth both asked, hostility floating in their voices. Will gave a jolly smile at Percy who groaned and wiped his hands on Will’s shirt, muttering ‘gross’ under his breath. Will shoved Percy who proceeded to make a face back.

“How do you two know each other?” Frank asked, completely confused before Hazel went up on her tiptoes and began whispering in Frank's ear while he nodded along.

Nico, sick of Will’s attention not being focused on him butted in. “ Did you come all this way to flirt with Percy or what?”

Percy and Will both gagged and shivered, the idea of liking each other being just gross.

“I’m here because you son of a bitch, used me!” Will cried, flinging his arms out.

Nico raised an eyebrow. “I did?”

“Your boyfriend, booty call, whatever you wanna call them- was right there and I was just some pawn for you-”

“-If I wasn’t talking or paying any attention to you whatsoever, how on earth would I make them jealous?”

Will didn’t respond, his mind racking for answers, excuses, insults he could fling at the raven haired boy. He noticed he wasn’t wearing his lip ring that day.

“I think you should focus on the fact that Leo and I just so happened to be at the Medical College despite our majors being nothing related and we just so, by chance, crashed into you and your friend,” Nico hinted. He was a bit tired from how oblivious this blond guy was- hadn’t he made it obvious?

Will took a while to connect a few dots, but the problem was that he only connected the exact dots that Nico did not want him to connect.

“Wait, so Leo does like Callie? Is that why you guys are here?”

Nico wanted to fucking facepalm.

Saturday

The shop bell rang. Calypso was sitting at the counter with her apprentice, Meg. They were both chatting, something to do with the variation of a certain dandelion- Will wasn’t very sure.

He was sporting a daisy chain around his wrist that Meg had forced him to wear and a pink rose had been braided into his hair after much argument with Calypso that the thorns would hurt, in which she retorted that she’d obviously clip the bloody thorns.

When the bell rang, none of the three workers really snapped their heads up. But when the bell rang, and then rang and then rang again, they slowly lifted their heads from their conversation. Will, who had been leaning his elbows on the counter to talk to the two ladies, turned his head to see 8, very unwelcome people, walk into his shop.

Nico was standing there with all 7 of hids friends- Percy, Annabeth, Frank, Hazel, Piper, Jason and Leo. All of whom were very much not welcome in any way whatsoever in this shop.

“What are you doing here?”

The friends all glanced at one another before a few sputters of laughter were spread out. Nico, who was wearing his lip ring again, walked forward and picked up a red rose, twirling the thorny flower in his two fingers, ignoring the small prick it made.

He noticed the blood trickling down his thumb and lifted the injury to his lips.

“Didn’t I tell you last time...” Nico asked, his voice teasing but also malicious, a small corner of his lips stained red. “That you’ll be seeing a lot more of us?”

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misterewrites · 3 years ago

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Intro to.....????

Hello everyone! Been awhile. It's been busy and really hot for me so it's hard for me to sit down to write sometimes.

But it's here!

E here with the next chapter and the final intro character chapter! The intro chapters were supposed to introduce everyone to the main and important characters of the story, who will be driving the main plots and stories though sometimes i might use new characters or different background characters. So beyond this chapter will be more worldbuilding, story arcs and oneshots. just stories about this world and its characters. I might even use some of my friends ocs i accidentally convinced them to make for my world. It was so much fun!

Alright that's it for me! Stay safe, wash your hands, wear your masks, take care of your loved ones, get vaccinated if you can, push to release the vaccine worldwide and have a great week! Enjoy! feel free to leave likes, feedback *I love feedback and comments even if it's just a line you liked or a scene you found awesome or funny* reblogs and tell your friends! Promoting myself still feels weird haha. E is out! Byeeeeee

If you want an easier time to read the story and since I’ve been shadow banned from tumblr for like ever now, here’s the newest chapter on ao3 right over here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/82583164

If you are interested in my work and want to read from the beginning check it right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

Interested in my full catalog? https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/works

Summary: Jackdaw is a powerful crime lord in the magical side of Newton Haven. He is feared more than respected and he doesn't care who he has to crush to accomplish his goals. So when his lucrative club is burned to the ground with his guards piled neatly outside, battered broken but alive, he takes it personally. Of course who is crazy enough to burn down a club of a notoriously dangerous crimeboss? A mercenary paid to do so.

Obviously.

----------

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

The sound of footsteps pacing back and forth thundered throughout the silent room.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

No one said anything. No one could say anything given the disastrous failure of the night. It hadn’t mattered if they were physically present at the site of offense or that they were scattered across town in one of many locations vital to the boss’s business: Someone hit them and the boss was itching to hit back.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

“Alright” A voice spoke up, smooth yet cold.

The room was already quiet but now the air filled with a frighten tension.

The boss whirled around from the massive window he’d been staring out of, eyes narrowing on the defeated group of guards who averted their gaze from his.

The few still conscious were in varying states of dishevel and injured: Broke bones, nasty bruises, clothing ruffled and torn in places. Not a single one had gone unscratched from the assault on the club earlier that night.

Jackdaw was not pleased.

No one in the room knew much about their boss despite devoting their lives to his cause: He was in his mid 30’s, his nose uneven after being broken in a fight though no one could agree what he had been fighting. Long wavy raven black hair ran down his shoulders while his dark brown eyes glanced about, icy and piercing.

“I’m a little confused.” Jackdaw said with a menacing drawl as he approached the closest guard “Mind answering a few for me?”

The guard nodded shakily.

Jackdaw smiled, patting the guard’s cheek in a mocking manner “Good, good. Now let me paint the picture: My club is currently a smoky, charred corpse of its former self. Yes?”

The guard gave another timid nod.

Jackdaw puckered his lips thoughtfully “Okay, okay. How many guards on duty?”

“8.” The guard murmured fearfully.

“Okay. How many standing?”

The guard shot a nervous glance to the other three. They found the floor more interesting.

“F-four.”

Crack!

The guard’s limp body tumbled backwards and laid still on the ground.

Jackdaw flexed his fingers “Wrong! I count three. You!”

The next in line flinched but stared their boss in the face “Sir?”

“Since that one.” Jackdaw lazily motioned to the unconscious man “is sleeping on the job, you tell me what happened.”

“O-okay.” The next in line mumbled “Well the night started same as any other….”

----------

The Gray Waves nightclub brought in a decent crowd for a weekday: Dozen or so people lost in the dim shadows with only a disorienting array of ever changing lights for company. Drinks served and the booming, thundering sounds of music set the chaotic mood clubs thrived on.

Nice peaceful night.

Floyd, the current storyteller, had been watching from the second floor landing when he noticed the gathering of guards below. The eight guards on duty were often out and about performing their different duties ranging from gate keeping the door to making sure nothing disturbed the vibe of the club. The fact five of his coworkers were huddled together should’ve been the first red flag.

The group talked in hushed tones despite the deafening bass and techno music the DJ’s speakers blared out. Once or twice, someone glanced to the far end of the club. Floyd looked and found the source of meeting.

Someone in their forties was loudly drinking at the counter tucked in the shadowy part of the club: It was impossible to tell who they were from this distance but they clearly were enjoying themselves: Head tiled back with messy, wavy salt and pepper hair. They gestured to the bartender (A wonderful woman named Carolyn who unfortunately had school debt to pay off and mob work was the best paying.) excitedly as their drink spilled onto the floor. They wore a large, tattered dark green trench coat that had seen better decades with faded worn out blue jeans. Their black boots were caked with grime and dirt that dirtied the floor. The only thing remotely new was their black t-shirt with some words in white font.

Floyd understood what the problem was: Clubs thrived on their popularity and image. People wanted to feel like they were special, all access stars to the hottest place in the city. With such a reputation came a mighty need to uphold said rep. No offense to whoever was having fun over there but with that look, it might send the wrong message and no amount of cash would ever change that.

Evidently a plan was reached as the meeting broke up. Two guards remained behind, returning to watching the room as the pit boss made his way over to the hapless customer, flanked with back up.

It was oddly satisfying watching the pit boss work: He gracefully slid in and out of crowds, slipping through the lost dancers like a snake treading through water. He motioned to the others to wait then made his way to the person.

The person was singing something at the top of his lungs. Drink, clink or something like that. Maybe it was the song playing at the time but Floyd hadn’t been paying attention to that at the time.

Trench Coat slipped Carolyn something and she laid a bottle of alcohol on the counter beside them: Vermouth? Absente? Vodka? One of those probably.

She nodded gratefully and disappeared into the back.

Floyd frowned at the red flag number two he had just seen: Carolyn was a pretty woman and was told more or less to just do as the customer asked be it answering questions or a reasonable request that wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Of course this was with the strict rule of not to leave the counter unattended.

At the time Floyd thought it was weird, not yet realizing what was about to unfold.

The person poured the bottle directly into their mouth, shaking their body to the catchy beat poorly. Whoever they were could not dance to save their life.

The pit boss, Malcolm, closed the distance between himself and his prey. He snuck closer and closer, the unaware customer too lost in their antics to noticed. Malcolm reached out for their shoulder and…

The thud was loud enough to cut through the noisy club and got the attention of everyone present.

Before Malcolm could even tighten his grip, the person struck: They whirled around, grabbing Malcolm’s head and smashing it into the counter. As Malcolm sunk to the floor, limp and unmoving, the person turned to shoot a smug grin towards the guards.

“I’m on the floor, floor! I love to dance!” They sang, one hand outstretched to the sky, the other gripping the bottle upside and draining its contents onto the counter.

The back up drew their weapons, standard issue nightsticks, and made their way forward.

“So give me more, more, till I can’t stand.”

They emptied the bottle, their green eyes never leaving the approaching guards.

“Get on the floor, floor, like it’s your last chance.”

They chucked the empty bottle into the wall of drinks, broken glass and different alcoholic drinks spilling onto the floor and mixing together.

“If you want more, more, then here I am!”

They pulled a match from within their coat pocket and lit it with the backside of their boot. Without looking, they threw the match over their shoulder and smiled as a raging flame broke out behind them.

The club goers were slow to realize what was going on but the remaining guards, Floyd included, mobilized to action.

Before anyone could react, however, an unexpected shrill shrieked throughout the building: The fire alarm designed to be the most annoying and loudest thing you’ve ever heard.

Even though it had been a slow night and only a dozen or so people were here, the customers panicked with a surge of three times that number.

Screams and yells filled the air as bodies shuffled about in a mad dash. The guards were thrown about, tossed this way and that while the lights, alarm and music worked together to confuse everyone.

Luckily the club was deserted within moments, leaving only security and the troublemaker.

The person hadn’t moved an inch despite the increasingly raging blaze behind them.

The back up pair approached carefully, unsure what this person was capable of.

All of them really had no idea.

The person raised their hand to the sky, belting with full force “LET’S DO THIS ONE MORE TIME!”

Without warning, silence and darkness filled the club: The fire alarm and music died suddenly. The lights followed a moment later but the raging flames, growing hungrily, remained. Floyd’s eyes watered with a sharp pain, the stuffy air and sudden shift in lighting too much for him

Floyd paused his story, uneasy growing at the sight of Jackdaw’s tightened jaw. The poor lad could actually see the veins pulsing with barely contained rage on his boss’s forehead.

“And why did the power go out?” Jackdaw asked through clenched teeth “No one was watching the power? Or the fusebox? Not a single person was guarding what I pay them to guard?”

Floyd remained silent, unsure how to answer that. He was just one of the lower rank and file guards: He got told what to do and he did it.

“Well? I’m waiting Floyd my boy! Why did the power go out?”

Floyd felt the beads of sweat run down his neck.

“Umm sir?”

Floyd nearly collapsed as one of Jackdaw’s techies nervously stepped forward, a loaded video on a tablet in hand.

Jackdaw blew a loose strain of hair out of his face and took a moment to slick back his hair. The vain gesture was enough to allow him to regain some level of composure as he snatched the tablet from the techie. With a grunt, he pressed play.

The video was short: It was a camera feed set up to watch over the fusebox to prevent tampering. Two guards were gesturing to the box, idly chatting with somebody in a red jumpsuit with a clipboard in one hand and a toolbox in the other. The back of uniform had the words “Newton Haven City Maintenance” scrawled across it in some rather hard to read font. The guards laughed out loud, jokingly patting the stranger’s shoulder before leaving frame. The city worker opened the fusebox and began tinkering without anyone stopping him.

The tablet crunched nosily as Jackdaw’s grip sent a ripple of cracks across the screen.

He turned to the techie.

“It was a routine check up.” the techie sputtered out “Our guards called it in this afternoon. Said there was an official letter with stamps and signatures and everything!”

“Did you check with me?” Jackdaw snarled “Because I pay the city specifically so they don’t send anyone to the club. Because of my illegal business practices that I perform there.”

Floyd could see the techie’s shoulder slump, whispering quietly “You were in a meeting….”

Jackdaw growled furiously but returned his attention to the nearly broken tablet.

It hadn’t taken more than a few minutes for the mysterious city maintenance worker to finish. They slammed the fusebox closed, doing a little jig before checking the contents of their toolbox and went on their merry little way.

Jackdaw’s blood froze as the figure gave a cheeky wink to the camera, knowing exactly where it was despite the magical wards in place to keep it invisible.

“Savant.”

An eerie emptiness replaced the hostility in the room.

The fight disappeared out of Jackdaw, leaving only an intense sense of dread and paranoia.

All this was lost on Floyd, who saw the troublemaker’s face and couldn’t help but blurt out “That’s them! The one who beat up Malcolm and burned the club down!”

Jackdaw chuckled darkly “Oh. Oh this makes sense. No one wonder you all get your ass kicked six ways to Sunday. Someone sic’d Savant on me. Ya’ll never had a chance against them.”

Floyd shuddered, the memory of how brutal and efficient Savant had been against them: Grown men dragged kicking and screaming into the shadows, the crunchy noises of bones broken, bodies falling down and yells stopped mid-shout. He still remembered Savant standing over him, nightstick in hand, whistling cheerfully as they brought down the weapon and sent him into unconsciousness.

“Alright!” Jackdaw clapped his hands “Lock it down!”

Everyone glanced towards one another, unsure what exactly the boss meant.

“LOCK IT DOWN!” the snarl that escaped Jackdaw’s lips sent goosebumps down everybody’s spine “NOW! I WANT THIS PLACE SEALED UP NICE AND TIGHT!”

“But we’re 14 stories up...”

Techie flinched as Jackdaw whirled around, eyes blazing with unrestrained rage and impatience “You deaf? I said lock down the building or so help me I’m going to use you as a human shield when they start coming for me.”

Techie opened his mouth when an unexpected sound filled the silence: A muffled, cheeky yet tacky melody of a cellphone ringing.

Glances and gazes looked about trying to find the source of the disturbance. Floyd was baffled when he realized it was coming from inside his coat pocket. Nervously, he reached within and slowly pulled out a palm sized flip phone, the kind hadn’t been used in decades.

Jackdaw’s eyes widened with fear and alarm as he snatched the phone from the poor guard with inhuman speed.

“It’s them!” Jackdaw’s voice was manic “IT’S THEM!”

The mobster was torn about what to do next: Answering meant playing right into Savant’s hands and whatever the mercenary had plan. On the other hand, not answering would no doubt annoy them into far worse retaliation.

With a hard shallow, Jackdaw answered with an uncharacteristically shy “Hello?”

He could feel his heart screech to a stop when a bored, almost nonchalant voice replied “S’up.”

Jackdaw threw as much charm and cheer into his voice “Savant, buddy! Pal!”

“Don’t.” the voice sighed tiredly “It’s pathetic when the begging start. You’re a big, bad mob boss. Act like it you dumbass.”

“Fine” Jackdaw let go of any sense of civility “Good old threats: if you so much as show your face around…”

“Ugh too much in the wrong direction” Savant replied, seemingly uninterested in what the mob boss had to said “You people are all the same: False bravado and overcompensating. It’s embarrassing. Just say you’re scared of me and we can move on.”

Despite the severity of the situation, Jackdaw couldn’t help but feel irritated “Oh is that what you want? Get your jollys when powerful people admit they’re afraid of you? You think you can….you can…”

Jackdaw paused, unsure if his ears were working correctly.

“Are you eating?”

“Hmm??” the sound of smacking lips and chewing was the mercenary’s response for a few moments “Oh yeah. Get hungry when working. Normally I’d be all for the theatrics but it’s been a long night what with fucking with your fusebox, burning down your club, planting the phone on a guard. It’s like 3 in the morning dude.”

Jackdaw bit his lip angrily, a single drop of blood running down his chin “It is 3 in the morning and I’m very tired so I’d very much like to conclude our business. How much?”

“To hire me?” more lip smacking “An amount. You could probably afford it.”

Jackdaw let his shoulder’s sag with relief “So it’s agreed? I’ll hire you and we can all be on our merry way.”

“Sure!” Savant said cheerfully.

Bullet dodged.

“You can hire me after I finish this job. By the way did you like the gift I sent you?”

Gift?

Jackdaw was a powerful and feared member of the illicit side of the magical world. He climbed to his position through sheer force of will and power. He left countless of his enemies broken and defeated in his wake.

To see him reduced to a flailing, paranoid mess would be a story no one would believe.

“GIFT?!” Jackdaw screamed, unable to keep the high-pitch whine out of his voice “WHAT GIFT?! SOMEONE FUCKING ANSWER ME!”

The techie was the first to shake off their stupor “Well there was a box that came in today. It was empty and we detected no magic so…”

“Box?!” Jackdaw spat as he wildly searched the room before landing on the seemingly innocent box just sitting on his desk “You brought it the fuck here?”

Everyone backed away.

“I…”

“Wait” Jackdaw cut off the techie’s answer “Maybe they were hoping you’d take it somewhere or get rid of it. No, no this is good. We’re outwitting the fucker.”

“Sir, the box was empty. And you told use you personally wanted to inspect any and all….”

“You hear that asswipe!” Jackdaw grinned ear to ear “My people are the best! We’re ahead of you. Your game is over, you hear me?”

“My man.” Savant’s voice was infuriatingly calm “It’s just a regular old box for a boring ass mobster.”

“Stop lying!” Jackdaw roared angrily, instinctively bringing down his fist on the closet object in the room.

Which of course was the box.

The parcel collapsed under the mobster’s supernatural strength with little effort. As the box was smashed, the two inert glyph drawn in an invisible ink on both ends collided and activated each other.

The room erupted in an array of dazzling, blinding lights.

The light show hadn’t lasted long but no one knew that as they stumbled around, disoriented and lost, the display still burned in their retinas.

Jackdaw howled violently, swiping at the air blindly with long talon-like nails. Any calls for explanations or help were lost under the raging mobster unleashed.

Jackdaw didn’t hear the window break, the sound of glass shattering as it rained upon the floor. He didn’t see the muzzle flash that flared across the street, Savant’s sniping perch. He knew nothing but the sudden searing pain that filled his shoulder without warning.

Everything drained out of him, he slumped to the floor like a doll. He weakly clutched at his shoulder, steam wafting off the wound as the sliver bullet dug itself deep in its new home.

It didn’t matter what kind of werebeast you were: Wolf, bear, rat or even a raven like Jackdaw. All them were deathly weakened by sliver. The mere smell could cause nausea, touch burned worse than third degree burns and any injuries could take weeks, maybe even months to heal.

Jackdaw wheezed, the room spinning in a messy blur.

“Right.” the phone landed by his ear but Savant’s voice sounded far off like it was echoing down a long tunnel “Sorry I got the paper right here.”

Muted sounds of pockets being turned inside out: Scraping of metal on brick, shuffling papers, even rustling fast food wrappers.

“Got it!” Savant beamed “Quinn says stay the fuck off his turf. Mind your lane or the next time he sends me I won’t be aiming for your shoulder.”

“How did you know I was...I was… no one knew...?” Jackdaw murmured incoherently.

“Your heart.” Savant explained “It’ll be your heart. Okay well I gotta go so take these next few months to reflect on any sort of ill advised turf wars, domestic disputes and fighting with your rivals. If you’re still interested in hiring me for revenge or whatever, you call me at my business payphone. Bye little birdy!”

----------

Savant dropped the phone to the floor, crushing it under their boot while rubbing the tension out of their neck. Around them was the standard stakeout gear: high powered and totally illegal sniper rifle, a neatly piled trash heap and a sniping pillow (Sniping’s hard on the stomach and knees.).

They packed away the gun, kicked the trash heap to make it look more like natural rooftop garbage and went downstairs.

Savant yawned tiredly, not at all concerned with the guards that were pouring out of Jackdaw’s hidey hole. They glanced around, trying to get their bearings when they noticed a hot dog vendor across the street.

“I really shouldn’t” they pursed their lips “Especially after paying for someone to set up the pyrotechnics spells. But I am hungry. Stomach wins!”

Savant made their way over, patting their stomach lovingly “One hotdog please. Everything on it.”

“You got it!” The vendor nodded before eyeing the commotion “What’s with that?”

“I don’t talk business.”

“O-kay. Umm here’s your hotdog. That’ll be two bucks.

Savant reached into their pocket and shoved a hundred dollars into the waiting vendor’s hand. Without a second look, Savant gratefully took the hotdog and walked away.

“Hey buddy! BUDDY! You gave me way too much!”

“You too!” Savant replied, took caught up in the rapture that was their meal.

This was a really fucking good hotdog.

#my work #Original Work #original story #my stuff

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winters-sugardaddy-zemo · 4 years ago

Text

Zemo's Weltenschmerz (Zemo's world pain)

( Weltenschmerz [ˈvɛltʃmɛɐ̯ts]. it denotes a deep sadness about the inadequacy or imperfection of the world.The translation can differ depending on context, in reference to the self it can mean "world weariness", in reference to the world it can mean "the pain of the world")

After Bucky saves Zemo from John, the new captain america, the baron hears the soldat scream at night and can't help himself but to find out why. It seems that he developed an unhealthy obsession about the man and can't explain himself why so he tries so suppress his emotions.

This is my first time ever writing in the Marvel fandom and I chose to write it in a diary style, which means I jump from scene to scene. Let me know if it is too unclear what is going on or if you want a part 2! xoxo🥰❤

part (1/?)

Word count: 4120

TW: Angst, Hurt, comfort, smut-ish?

"Are you here to watch and enjoy my suffering?"

"No-" Zemo did not hesitate to gently shake his head in denial but he felt caught. His eyes wandered through the room to stare at anything else than his soldat, too nervous to look him in the eyes. He wondered why his feet had led him to Bucky's room and why he did not simply ignore the screams he heard in the night. Zemo did not blame himself, he had a curious nature after all and the soldat was the biggest puzzle to solve for him. Bucky's eyes were still burning on him, even after a long pause of silence. He waited for the sokovian to explain himself, but somehow the other man's head was empty and he imagined the air was drained out of his lungs, that opening his mouth to say something would choke him to death.

"I just wanted to check on you and see if you are okay." Zemo whispered and looked at the man sitting on the ground, his chest soaked in his sweat. The sokovian did not just see the Soldat sweating, he could also smell him. And for a moment Zemo was not sure if he despised the smell, or were already addicted to it. Bucky really needed to take a shower and change his sheets. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look like it?" The soldat hissed angrily at Zemo, the sudden volume in his voice breaking the silence caused the sokovian to flinch a little. That was a dumb question, indeed, maybe nothing more than a reflex. A simple question to ask, in which the answer mostly resulted as a lie.

"Should I get Sam?" Zemo proposed and pointed with his thumb back into the hallway.

"NO!"

"Should I leave?" He then asked when Bucky was staring at him again, his eyes filled with unspoken words as if he would conduct this dialogue in his head. Bucky remained silent and after a while he shortly broke the gaze.

"What do you really want here?" Bucky asked with quite a concern in his voice, his beautiful blue eyes now piercing the man in front of him again. "Why did you come here?"

For the first time since Zemo had joined Sam and Bucky, he had nothing to say. He tried to grab a thought, to give the other man a quick and easy answer, the best lie possible, but the harder he tried, the less he could focus and started to stutter.

"Well, I-I… apparently-"

"Apparently you don't know how to fucking mind your own business!" The Soldat was yelling now and jumped to his feet to build himself up in front of the sokovian. Zemo almost imagined hearing him growl. As Bucky closed the distance between them two, the baron could feel his heart kicking at his ripcake like a drunken assaulting the bars of his holding cell. That he felt nervous now was no understatement, but why he felt nervous was another mystery to himself. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when the vibranium fingers of the soldat touched his breast. Gently at first, then it got rough quickly: Bucky pushed his flat hand against Zemo and pushed him out of his room, almost causing the baron to fall backwards, right before the door was harshly thrown shut in front of him.

"Unhöflich." Zemo mumbled, still utterly perplexed about his own actions and choice of words.

The next night Zemo could not sleep. He was restless and could not stop thinking about sneaking past Sam's room to visit Bucky again, but he deeply doubted the man had left his door open after the last night. The sokovian felt strong, ashamed of himself, proud, feverish and a little plem-plem. There was no reason for wanting to see the broken man again- and to be hurtful truthfully, it was no lie to state the obvious about him.

When Zemo closed his eyes again, to push every thought of Bucky aside, the suffering growls of the man in the distance made him shiver from head to toes. He yanked the blanket aside, his body shot up and he found himself sitting bolt upright in bed. The solovian's eyes wandered down to his hands and saw that they were shaking.

"Stop this madness." He whined and grabbed with one hand his other wrist in an weak attempt to stop himself from shivering.

"I absolutely don't care." Zemo told himself and after a moment, when he was not sure about his own words he added,"Or at least I shouldn't care."

His body moved on it's own when his bare feet touched the ground. The wooden floor was colder than he expected, but nothing to bother about. What really bothered him was the cold air that snuck in from the open window Zemo forgot to close before he went for his short sleep. As he closed the window, Zemo watched his empty reflection in the glass. He was no less broken than Bucky...

The baron has sworn himself to revenge his family at all cost, to stop Supe's, that they could not abuse their power for their self-righteous beliefs. Sam's question about Zemo's thoughts on Bucky had caught him off guard and the sokovian still did not know how to answer that. Not to Sam and not to himself. Since the soldat had saved Zemo's life and showed his sparing gesture afterwards, by dropping all the bullets in his gun in front of the sokovian, things had changed. Zemo could feel it deep inside his guts, that there was something wrong with him.

At first, Zemo shook the feeling off and assumed that everything he felt was guilt for being saved by Bucky. When Zemo had destroyed the small blue bottles, John freaked out. The new captain america almost killed Zemo in his outrage before he could save the last bottle of super soldier serum. After hitting him with Cap's shield, the man was far away with being finished with the baron.

"You really think you are a smart one." John grabbed Zemo threatening by the collar of his jacket. The baron's view was speckled with black dots that seemed to get bigger, but he was still conscious enough to realise that the new Captain pulled the corner of his lips up into a mischievous smile before he got stabbed. John's eyes moved aside to something blue that was barely in view.

"Not that smart at all."

Zemo closed his eyes for just a second and took a sharp breath. He wondered how he could still stand, yet the baron did not fall backwards from the pain. John was long gone, but Zemo was unable to even realise that. He did not even realise how Bucky stormed into the room next. The soldat moved his eyes from the broken serum bottles to Zemo's gun on the ground and at last to the baron, standing like frozen next to it.

"What the hell happened here?" Bucky asked and when the sokovian did not answer he touched his waist,"What happened to you?"

When he pulled his hand away bloody, Bucky widened his eyes and gave Zemo an unbelieving look.

"What happened?" He repeated his question in a hoarse tone.

"I am-" the sokovian could feel how the ground swayed away underneath his feet and he might have blacked out for just a second, because when he looked around with his eyes, Bucky was holding him in his arms. "-fine." .

"You're clearly not fine!" Bucky yelled and shook him a little, in fear, that if the baron closed his eyes, they would never open again. He was too important for this mission.

Zemo felt like he was fainting as his sight got darker and his body heavier, but the mercy of passing out was not granted to him. Bucky started to peel off the baron's coat and when he saw the bloody mess underneath he gasped.

Zemo felt so embarrassed to remember how Bucky had picked him up into his arms and carried him out to get medical treatment as fast as possible. If anyone would ever find out about this unexpected situation between him and the soldat, it was over with his reputation in the underground scene. Then he was not baron Zemo the mastermind anymore, rather the man who cuddled with his slave soldier. But in the end Bucky did save his life, nothing the sokovian would have ever expected after everything he had made the soldat do in his name. He hated himself so much for being in his debt, even though Zemo started to like the thought of being close to the other man.

The baron realised he could not sleep until he spoke to Bucky and thanked him for what he did for him- a weak excuse, that the baron was aware of. He got dressed quickly and rushed to his door, just to hesitate to even touch the door handle. He gulped. What am I doing? Zemo took a deep breath, then wrapped his fingers around the door handle as suddenly someone knocked on his door. He stopped and held on. His eyes widened and his heart beat paced up.

"Zemo?" It was Bucky.

"Zemo, are you awake?" there was a bitter note of discontentment in his voice. Zemo could not answer. How could he? The baron's cheeks heated up and he bit his lip to prevent himself from making any sound. Why was it so hard to talk to Bucky all of the sudden? He waited another moment and when Bucky finally left, Zemo let out a relieved sight, even though he still felt a little stabbed. Turning around, he leaned against the wooden door and stared over to the window. Still a broken man in a broken world. Zemo sank down until he sat on the cold ground. So cold.

It took him courage to rise to his feet again and move himself through the hallway towards Bucky's room. To his surprise the door was open and Zemo wondered if it were on purpose or just accidentally.

"What did you want?" Zemo caught the soldats attention after he stopped in the doorway and started to speak. The sight of him made Zemo nervous. Bucky was shirtless and probably went to sleep, or was already sleeping. Anyway he flinched a little by the creeping man and sat up onto his bed. Bucky tilted his head and looked over to Zemo.

"I wanted to know why you came to me in the night." Bucky explained. "I want the truth."

"I was worried." No lie. "When you scream at night, I know it is because of the Winter Soldier."

"You mean me?" Bucky asked with a sudden anger. "I am the Winter Soldier!"

A justified anger, but Zemo never abstracted the Winter Soldier from Bucky.

"I mean it when I say I care about you." The sokovian tried to soothe the soldat. His downfall.

"Do you, Zemo?" Bucky spat his name out as if it were poison. "Sam told me about your God-talk and how Supe's can not be allowed to exist."

"I never answered him."

Bucky snorted and rolled with his eyes.

"You talk hateful about the people that feel the same pain as you." the corners of his mouth wandered up into a short, cheeky grin. He was so

reproachful. "You see me as the monster despite the fact that it was you who did this to me. It was you who used the Winter Soldier to take loved ones from other's. It has never really been me."

For the second time Zemo did not know how to answer, so he avoided the other man's gaze. His throat tightened as he tried to find some words. Bucky had a point.

"I can never imagine what pain I caused you with the Winter Soldier program." Zemo mumbled and he meant it. "I am truly sorry."

The sokovian did not even give Bucky the chance to say something as he swiftly disappeared out of the room through the hallway to his own.

Avoiding Bucky was barely possible since Zemo was a prisoner and under both men's watch, still the baron fought with the idea to get too close with them. There was no need for friends, there never was and there would never be. Zemo was bitter. He was a petty person and he could not stand to have Bucky's words being left in the moment. On the other hand, Zemo still had no other answer to him than an apology. The sokovian was not mad that the only response he could think of was an apology, but that he truly meant it.

In all this mess, Sam kept observing the sokovian all the time and when he simply could not answer to himself, why Zemo showed Bucky the cold shoulder after being saved by him, he got curious. It did not take him long to develop the behaviour of squinting his eyes whenever they followed the baron. It did not leave him unnoticed that Zemo kept a sudden distance to Bucky but still seemed to be obsessed with him with every second passing by. In the evening, when Bucky changed his clothes and grabbed his keys before leaving the house without a word, Sam saw Zemo starring again, until the soldat was gone. He was almost drooling.

"You act strange." Sam said and furrowed his brows. Then he added,"Stranger than Zemo-strange."

"What do you know?" Zemo rolled his eyes and attempted to walk around the falcon to quickly escape from this weird situation into his room, but got stopped by Sam, as he pressed his hands against the baron's chest. Somewhat they both, Sam and Bucky, had a big problem doing that. Both men exchanged a warning glare, threatening, waiting for the other one to break the gaze.

"Don't test me." the sokovian snarled and pushed Sam's hand away. He did not stop him when Zemo returned to his room and locked the door from the inside, but the baron knew this wasn't over, instead only woke more curiosity in the avenger. Too bad that Zemo did not intend to share his emotions like a little girl at a slumber party. He could not even stay honest to himself and drank instead of thinking about what could be wrong with him- because deep down he already knew.

Zemo knew what he felt when Bucky's picture popped up inside his head and all he wanted to do was jack himself off. The only solution to get these images out of his head was to keep drinking until his mind was fully blank or he started to like these thoughts. Eventually he got hungry, but was far too faded to dare go into the kitchen, or even greet a delivery service, so he searched his pockets for some candy- Turkish delight and a lolly. Zemo's throat tightened and he hesitated, but sooner or later he reached for the lolly, unwrapped the plastic foil and gave himself a moment to stare at the pink candyware before he stopped denying the urge of letting it slowly slide inside his mouth. With slow movements he twirled his tongue around the pink sugar ball, quickly realising it was not enough, that it was not the thing he wanted to feel in his mouth. After a while the sokovian's eyes widened when he realised what he was doing and pulled the lolly out of his mouth to give it a disgusted look, then turned around to throw it furiously away. When the hard candy crashed against the window, it broke the glass and when Zemo saw the split, he felt something break inside him too.

He could not do it any longer. No second passed in which Zemo kept acting as if he were despising Bucky. The truth was, that the sokovian desperately longed for the other man, craved his touch beyond anything sexual. He wanted to feel Bucky's warmth around him and to smell his scents. Zemo wanted to kiss those pink lips so desperately, that deep inside it was almost painful to watch himself squeal under his own tormentment. And for fuck's sake he wanted to call him Bucky.

B-U-C-K-Y.

The sexiest alphabet combination Zemo could think of now. There was no logic explanation for his behaviour, to keep those walls up, because at the end of the tunnel everything was dark and there was nothing else to grasp and hold onto. Could he have developed an unhealthy obsession? It didn't matter. Everything that mattered was that when the soldat was close, Zemo could feel his tummy turn inside out, spreading a ticklish feeling from the pit of his stomach to the tips of his fingers. There was an electrical feeling joining him, whenever Zemo got touched anything, everything seemed so surreal, and he feared that one of the men would see him trembling. Of course he would blame it on the cold, nevertheless Zemo doubted himself to be a good liar in that state.

This had to end. It had to end now. The sokovian needed to find the perfect moment to speak with Bucky again, but with Sam by his side it was almost impossible. Maybe Zemo was like a little girl at a slumber party when he could not even manage to talk to the soldat unless he was all alone with him. He tried his best not to stare at Bucky while he discussed with Sam how to find John and Cap's shield, especially after realising that he had to be careful of the falcon's eyes.

"What do you have to say, Zemo?" Sam suddenly asked, caughting the sokovian for not listening at all. Zemo cleared his face and raised his eyebrows, focusing the annoyed man who had formed his eyes into slits by now.

"Pardon me?"

"Seriously man, are you fucking alright?" Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. His hands flew into the air as he turned with a swift move to reach for his wallet. Zemo dared to take a glimpse at Bucky and felt his cheeks heat up when he realised the soldat was already staring at him with a deadpan face. The short frequency of a moment in which his eyes were locked with Bucky's felt like an eternity. He even let out a relieved gasp when the other man broke the gaze to pay attention to Sam who gave his arm a short clap before leaving.

"Where are you going man?"

And with that, Zemo was all forgotten, turned their back on and left alone in the hotel room as Bucky followed Sam outside. He felt a mix of relief along with a stabbing pain in his heart. He wanted to scream, hey look at me, I am here! Don't go and leave me all by myself. No, he did not want Bucky to go. Don't leave me all by myself again…

Bucky was gone, everything that left was the sokovian in an empty room, trying to handle the loud noises in his head during that unbearable silence. It took him a while to move from his frozen state, turning around to clarify if he was really alone now or if he just dozed off again into his daydreams and meanwhile the men have returned.

Before Zemo would lock himself up inside his room again, he decided to prepare himself something to eat. That Lolly-thing could not happen again and the touching-himself thing needed to stop too. But how could it stop when Zemo already felt aroused of going back to bed so he could peacefully dream of Bucky? concentrate on the potatoes, fry the chicken, maybe ask Bucky if he wants-

Nope. Not happening.

The baron was actually quite glad that none of them returned until Zemo was finished with cooking and returned to his room. He actually was not even sure if they even came back and during the moment of peace, he couldn't care less. He ate and drank and rested on his bed, enjoying that his mind was blank for a brief moment this day.

A knock on the door woke Zemo late in the evening. He opened his eyes and for a moment he believed he had gone blind, then realised that his short afternoon nap seemed to have been longer than he thought it would be. The sokovian's legs still hung over the edge of the bed and he was fully clothed, so there was no need for the other person to wait long for the baron. Just as Zemo opened the door, he saw Bucky already turning around and walking away.

"Just wanted to inform you that Sam is going back to his sister for a few days." Bucky mumbled barely loud enough for the baron to understand. Now he did not give the sokovian a moment to answer.

I know what you're playing, Zemo thought. But is this just a game for you then?

The morning dew glistened on the broken window and the light of the sun shone through the small crack, spreading itself like it was a prisma. Zemo touched himself again and promised, how it would be the last time thinking of Bucky doing this. Dreaming that he was touching the other man, made no difference. Zemo should probably stop doing it but simply could not. He loved it too much. On the other end he would rarely reach his climax- and if he would he did not feel pleased by it at all. He was a mess, the cum on his stomach, over his freshly healed wounds reminded him of not long ago, when Bucky saved him and he feeled deeply ashamed.

A knock followed by,"Zemo?" made the man flinch. His cheeks turned into a deep scarlet and he moved fast to get clean, then he swiftly pulled his hand out of his boxers and closed the bathrobe he was wearing. For a glimpse second the sokovian felt caught in the act, even though the door was closed. Maybe because he did not expect the soldat to come to him again.

"I am not dressed." The baron replied dully.

A small pause.

"You can't keep it all inside, you know?" Bucky's voice echoed from the other side of the door. "Bottling it up won't do you any good."

Zemo's eyes glistened in curiosity and he raised one eyebrow, then brought one hand to his lips and thought about the meaning of those words. It was obvious that Bucky did not talk about the masturbating behaviours Zemo had developed recently, otherwise it would mean the soldat could read his mind and this would also incline he ignored his suffering all the time. It would only make the baron angry.

"What do you mean?" Zemo decided to ask instead of overthinking about the countless possibilities of interpretations.

"Sorry doesn't fix everything. You have to show that you mean it."

S-showing how to mean it?

What could he do to make it up to Bucky? To show him that he was truly sorry and not just looked for a way timo manipulate him again? He would burn the world down for this man and this might be the reason why the soldat could never see Zemo in a good way- he was arrogant to think he could sacrifice everyone for one person he cared about. It made him realise that he was no better than someone with super powers, if his own thinking led him to the same selfish choices that he judged the avengers for.

"At least we go through this together." Zemo answered in poignancy. "It's almost like back then, when it was just us."

"There were no us, there never was." Bucky replied untroubled and this time Zemo wished he left him alone.

#daniel brühl #tfatws #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x bucky #zemo #baron zemo #sebastian stan #zemo x winter soldier #sad boy

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hecohansen31 · 4 years ago

Text

Not The Right Time

The Story Of How Everything Met The Family:

Ivar+Reader (Modern! AU)

(Masterlist) (Previous Chapter)

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

A few things before you start reading, SO PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU START READING THE CHAPTER!

This is a filler chapter again as the previous ones, mostly because this came out to have a lot more things to write than I originally thought and instead of writing a whole lot and leave it without a sense I prefered writing two parts (the next will be the angsty one!)

Pretty please, also: Tumblr has been penalizing me a lot, not making my tags work and not sharing my work, so please... if you do like the chapter and enjoy my writing consider sharing it and commenting it (please don’t simply share it, because I didn’t come here to be famous, I came here to gain feedback).

It takes a LOOOOT of courage to pubblish our own works, hence although you don’t see it, us writers go through A LOOT in our writing and such, dealing with insecurities and anxieties, most of the time not to have a gain from it, so please do consider supporting us through feedback.

Feedback makes my fingers write faster and my heart beat stronger!

With this being said, I do hope you’ll enjoy it!

Have a nice reading!

SUMMARY: Finally the Thanksgving Day has come and you have to endure a family lunch with your past lover, which might bring back more feelings and insecurities than you have ever thought.

WORDS: 12,6 K

WARNINGS: Pregnancy, Unexpected Pregnancy, Pregnancy at a Young Age, Mention of Abortion (and Being Harsh About it), Heartbreak and General Angst, Abandonement Issues and Being A Single Mom, Mention of Infertility, Use of the Word Cripple.

You set up the umpteenth outfit for the following morning, eventually choosing your more elegant pair of jeans, black and high-waisted, matched to a white sweater with a V-neck cleavage, elegant but not matronly.

Would it be enough to impress Aslaug, the ice queen?

You shook your head annoyed with yourself and with your overthinking.

From the start of this week you had told yourself that you wouldn’t have stressed yourself out for the Thanksgiving you had to pass at the Lothbrock house, although you had promised yourself to appear in your best shape.

And yet, the entire week you had done nothing more than set up things and ideas for it, getting your luggage ready on Tuesday, meanwhile you got Eric to be in his bed early tonight so that you could check it to make sure you had everything you needed.

It would have been one sole day, but you had still packed a small baggage mostly for Eric, with a few change of clothes (four, precisely) and a more elegant set of clothes, although Ivar had promised you it’d be extremely informal.

But you remembered perfectly that Aslaug’s idea of informal were elegant vintage dresses, giving her the look of a desperate housewife out of a ‘50s commercial, but with eyes of pure steel and a smirk that could petrify anybody on who it was set on.

When you weren’t busy being afraid of her judgement for your uncured clothes and dirty hair, when you were younger, you admired her dearly.

But you knew she didn’t like you very much.

She and Ivar always had a strong relationship and you were sure that one of the many reasons why she didn’t like you truly, as any girl that Ivar might have brought her home, was that you had stolen her smaller son for quite some time.

So, you shouldn’t have been worried, in the slightest, about it anymore.

Although you and Ivar had a child together, he undoubtedly had no intention of bringing you back home to him or of creating a relationship with you.

But you were still scared shitless of her judgement.

You were halfway through setting up another possible combination of clothes, when your phone thrilled awake under the pile of clothes on your bed, and you went to answer it, noticing it was Ivar.

You almost hoped he’d tell you that he was sorry but the entire Thanksgiving lunch had been postponed.

But you got another kind of ‘bad’ news:

‘… Freydis has had… an urgent appointment’ he explained, his voice clearly showing some kind of worry, but at the same time… it almost didn’t feel authentic.

His voice was mechanical, but you blamed it on the phone.

‘… she has started bleeding this afternoon. The doctor says it isn’t anything worrying, but he wants her to avoid travelling and to keep her relaxed during this time’.

You had your own experience of bleeding a bit during your own pregnancy, so you could understand the doctor’s worry and you hoped that she’d be fine, saying so to Ivar as you explained that it was totally fine.

And that it wouldn’t have been a problem for you to cancel your planed for Thanksgiving.

You’d just have to postpone the meeting with Aslaug to another day.

‘… actually, about that…’ the tip of his tongue seemed heavy, almost slurring his words ‘… I don’t want to… it won’t cange anything… Freydis won’t simply be with us’.

You were extremely surprised by that admission as you tried to understand, why would Ivar come with you to his mother, when his pregnant fiancée was troubled with her pregnancy.

Although you knew it wasn’t your place

And Ivar seemed to feel your question.

‘I have tried… to tell Freydis that I feel more comfortable staying, but she won’t… she says that I am a fretting animal whenever she is sick… so she told me that it’d be better for health if I visit my mom’ Ivar’s voice was calm, almost as if he thought that Freydis’ request was normal and he accepted it easily.

Which contrasted perfectly with the way you remembered Ivar.

Back when you had been nothing more than a couple of friends, Ivar was always worried whenever you got minimally sick, although he was extremely grumpy about it, since he could be quite difficult with his emotions.

Once you had needed a small daily check-up at the hospital, and Ivar had literally hounded your bed, although your mother had been right there with you, leaving you two alone, as soon as she had noticed Ivar and that he wouldn’t back it up.

So, it felt strange that Ivar, the big and tough alpha man he had been taught to be, didn’t even try to protest against Freydis’ choice, when she was much pregnant with his pup and when she was the love of his life.

… unless…

… unless she wasn’t truly the love of his life.

But this was your idiotic brain trying to ease the slight and irrational jealousy you had been feeling, which had started when you had met Freydis and your heart had started beating again for Ivar.

But you were aware that it wasn’t useful in the slightest.

It hadn’t worked the first time.

Why would it work this time?

‘… I know that I seem awful’ he read your mind ‘… but Freydis will have a friend coming over to check on her and I think that I’ll stay till lunch and then go back home, immediately. She’ll let me know if anything bad will happen’.

In the end Ivar’s tone seemed extremely honest and you didn’t feel like mingling in his own relationship’s issues, aware that although you shared a son, you certainly didn’t have any more right to share his life and to know his own private details.

‘I can come and pick you up, if you don’t want to travel alone’ you proposed, although you regretted the words the moment you voiced them, knowing that they broke the second rule you had given yourself that week.

‘Don’t come too close to Ivar’.

No matter what.

And not again.

‘… that’d be nice’ his own voice held surprise and for a moment you almost expected him to reject the idea, insisting on that awfully toxic idea that he was an independent man who needed nobody’s help.

But he surprised you.

‘… I would actually like it, if you aren’t bothered by driving. I can pay for gas’.

‘There is no need for it’ you muttered lightly ‘… you already paid the medical bill this week’.

Which had been great, since you had been able to arrive to another month without adding some further debt to your whole life, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but question yourself and your decision.

Had you been a good mother?

Could have Ivar given Eric more?

‘… well, we’ll see tomorrow’ he commented and you could already picture that small smirk he had on his face in that moment, sure that he’d win also this argument, but not without a fight ‘… in the meanwhile, I’ll go to sleep to wake up tomorrow at 7 a.m. and you can swing in here by 8… or I can come to you…’.

‘I’ll come to you’ you suggested since Ivar’s house was on the road for Aslaug’s house a two hour ride that you had studied alongside other details about how much you remembered of the house and whether it was proper or not to nominate Ragnar in front of the whole family.

Sigurd had helped with a few things, although he had told you he wouldn’t be there on, since he had better things to do, which meant he had small Thanksgiving gig in a bar in the city.

And free alcohol as a payment could be quite convincing.

After receiving all the news of that night, you also should have indulged yourself in a glass of wine.

But you wanted to wake up at a decent hour tomorrow.

With no hangover, again.

In the end you went to check on Eric, finding him effectively asleep, which surprised you since he could be reckless and wouldn’t go to sleep till all his energy was out of his body, and today he had been quite excited to meet his grandma.

He must have taken your suggestion about ‘going to sleep earlier, to make the morning come faster’ seriously, something that made you smirk a bit as you gently moved to collect his crutches left on the floor, gently caressing his dark hair, as you kissed his forehead.

In the end, although your heart was slowly breaking, it was all worth it.

Overthinking comprehended.

---

Ivar had been truly worried about leaving Freydis alone.

Although it seemed more something that he did to avoid others’ judgement than for his own worry.

Almost as if he knew he shouldn’t have left her, and deep down he felt bad about leaving her…

… but it wasn’t for the right motives.

It was guilt, not love, making him act like that.

And he was sure that that should tell him much about his relationship with Freydis.

Lately he had been questioning it, although he knew he was toying a dangerous line, even more when their wedding was so close, since Freydis had chosen to pull it closer since she would have soon been ‘heavy with his child’ and she didn’t want that to ruin the wedding.

He had suggested that they simply postponed to after her pregnancy, but Freydis had literally shot him a murderous glare and he hadn’t said much more than telling her that she wouldn’t have looked ugly even ‘heavy with his child’.

The entire expression had made him uneasy, not solely for the way she had expressed the pregnancy as a negative aspect.

Pregnancy could be difficult on women, since it changed their bodies.

But he was sure she’d look amazingly all full with his child, swollen up and gorgeous, glowing of the pregnancy brightness that would have made her solely pretty.

It had undoubtedly made you gorgeous, from the photos he had seen of your pregnancy.

And he was anxious of staying by her side for such a journey, as he hadn’t been able to do the same with you.

And also the way she pushed on the ‘his child’ part, almost as if she wanted to convince somebody and it had made him nervous, although he tried not to measure every word she had spoken, because it’d drive him mad.

Lately he had been feeling more and more like he had been picking out at every word from Freydis’ mouth.

And not for her own sake, but for his, something that was absolutely awful for an engaged couple and when Freydis’ scare had caught up to him that afternoon he had thought that although it might seem selfish, he needed some time away from her.

Simply to recharge himself and change the mentality he had been having, since he was bringing himself to insanity, judging Freydis in a way that on the long run would have been hurtful.

Even more when she had sacrificed so much to be with him, constantly showing him that she loved him, desperately.

And he thought he felt the same.

But he couldn’t deny that since you and Eric had come back, he had felt the flame of your relationship rekindle, and although at first he had thought it was simply the effect of seeing you again after all this year…

… now he seemed stuck in a limbo.

He had never truly closed the things with you.

Although he had pretended that day of not wanting you anymore, he hadn’t felt in the slightest what his words meant.

It was supposed to be just a stupid dare.

His brothers had been jealous of the close relationships that was forming between you and him, truly impressed by the fact that you two had had sex, and they had dared him, starting from Bjorn, to break up with you for a day.

‘… to see if she suffers, to see if you are… her true love…’ had joked his stepbrother, a lazy smirk on his face, and although Ivar shouldn’t have, at the time he considered his older brother cooler and although he wouldn’t have admitted it to his face, not then and not now…

… he did most of the time what he told him to.

Hvitserk had agreed on the plan, meanwhile both Ubbe and Sigurd had been skeptic, Ubbe eventually joining in, sure that it would have been ‘a fun joke’ and that you would have debunked it immediately, meanwhile Sigurd had just kept to himself, telling Ivar that he was ‘a fucking asshole’ for doing this to you.

And that he’d have suffered greatly for this idiocy.

And he had been right, for once.

After the ‘fake break up’ you had distanced yourself from him, pushing him away in a way that had made him almost self-conscious toward other relationships and when college had rolled around, with a broken heart he had moved away, hoping that the distance would have healed it.

But neither that nor time had brought some relief to him.

He had had his fair share of girls in college: he might have been a prick and a cripple, but money and status clearly brought all the girls to him, but it had never felt like with you.

And he had never felt truly attracted to them.

Something that on the long run had just made him lose his own virility and sex, unable to even simply get it up, no matter the fact that he thought that the girl in bed with him was hot as hell.

She might have been the prettiest woman in the world, but she wasn’t you.

Something that he had never told the sexual therapist he had been seeing for Freydis’ joy, because the doctor would have for sure told him to get back with you, if he wanted an healthy sexual life.

Which wouldn’t happen for sure.

Mostly because you had made it very clear that you would have preferred being thrown in a dumpster than sleep with him.

But he couldn’t deny the thought of not feeling truly comfortable with anybody else, other than him, having you the way he did long ago.

He was jealous of all the imaginary lovers you could have had.

But he justified as simple worry for Eric’s wellbeing.

But he was aware that you wouldn’t have done anything bad for him.

That was why the flame of the past burned bright in his chest.

He had seen you go from a beautiful girl to a gorgeous mother, a journey that echoed on your skin and although you weren’t comfortable in it, like Freydis, you didn’t hide it, showing Eric as your pride and glory.

And he felt the same towards the boy.

He was the sole thing good that he had done.

… alongside Freydis’ baby.

He laid a soft kiss on the slight bump at that thought, meanwhile Freydis gently turned to latch out on him half-awake and half-asleep, as she mumbled a small and chewy ‘… goodmorning’, and Ivar gently moved his nose up her figure, reaching her face, which he peppered in kisses.

It was more a mechanic gesture than a proper one.

But still Freydis didn’t seem to notice the difference, for which he was grateful.

He hoped that a few hours of freedom would make him realize what he had been missing and why Freydis was the one he was supposed to be with.

And not you.

“… I am going, if you think that you are feeling well enough” he mumbled, as he looked at the clock, a quarter past 8, her friend was supposed to be there in a few minutes and he wanted to check on who she was, but Freydis simply nodded her head almost eager to see him gone “… are you sure?”.

He seemed to be not the only that would have enjoyed his freedom.

“Yeah yeah, you overbearing bear” she muttered, almost annoyedly, hiding her face in the pillow, as her long hair spilled on her naked back “… just go, I wouldn’t want mama bear to be worried”.

He grimaced at the veiled insult that Freydis had muttered, but didn’t say anymore, instead gently caressed her hair away, checking her face and her temperature, both seeming healthy, although he was still a bit worried.

If not for Freydis fully, at least for the child she was carrying.

The doctor had assured them that it wasn’t anything wrong.

It was common to bleed through the pregnancy, mostly during stressful periods, which did match with Freydis’ current situation and her crazy wedding planning.

The doctor, himself, had suggested that she took it easy and maybe hired someone to help, and this plan had been explicitly encouraged by Ivar, but she had insisted on doing everything on her own, although she had reassured Ivar that she’d take it with much more calm.

“… isn’t your friend supposed to be here already?” he muttered softly, not wanting to leave her alone, but knowing that in a few minutes you’d be there, since your anxious personality always made you arrive a bit earlier.

Freydis shook lightly her head, and turned to him, again sleepy with her lids hazily closed as a hand came to her chest.

“… my mom is coming, just give her time!” she replied, stretching on the empty bed, but Ivar couldn’t help but hear intensified her words, surprised that Freydis had called her mother, truly, when she had said a ‘friend’.

“… your mom?” he asked, unsure if he had heard right “… I thought… you said a friend”.

Freydis bit her lip and Ivar immediately noticed the gesture, unable to feel like it was a gesture that his fiancée did whenever she was nervous.

And it was starting to happen more and more.

And he was starting to have his doubts.

“No no” she mumbled, slightly pushing herself to have her back against the plush headboard of their shared bed “… I must have been so tired that I mixed up the names… sorry… it is my mom”.

“I thought you didn’t like your family” he could feel the way she was starting to feel more and more nervous with his comment that hid questions, but at the same time she hadn’t been very talkative in the family department and he had just assumed she didn’t like them.

Again, that lip-biting and a little look at her phone, with shone with a number appearing on it, and under it the name ‘mom’.

… Gosh, he was low key losing it.

“I just… I just thought that I might want to be closer to them, at least for the baby” she explained softly, her voice thoughtful as she took a deep breath “… my mom wasn’t that bad, also, I just… grew distant after I went to college”.

Which made sense.

And maybe Ivar was becoming quite more suspicious for something that was completely harmless.

… he was just overthinking the entire situation.

Trying to find faults, when it wasn’t Freydis’ in the slightest.

“… still I’d like to know your mother” he knew better than to come between a child and a mother, but he would have preferred to know her before allowing her near his child, although Freydis trusted her “… invite her over for tonight, we’ll have a small dinner with together, to celebrate and to thank her for staying with you”.

He didn’t want to prod more and Freydis’ face rewarded him with a small smile as she brought him for a long, long goodbye kiss, that not even the notification of a message in his phone, probably from you, stopped her from ending.

He kissed her one last time, and then left her grabbing quickly his travel bag since he had a few things to bring to his mother, a few toys he had brought as a gift to Eric and even a small gift card for you, although he knew that there was no true occasion.

But he felt like it was a nice gesture.

He checked the message as he closed the door behind himself, realizing that it was indeed you, assuring that you were early and would be waiting for him outside, Eric having also stolen the phone from you to send him a photo of himself.

And Ivar snapped one of himself, as he grabbed onto the crutch he had for emergencies, although he didn’t use it too much, but his mother would have gotten an heart-attack if she hadn’t seen him with a crutch, at least.

No matter the fact that she stored a lot more in their house.

And at the start of the week she had even gone as far as to ask whether she had to get some for Eric, for you know… emergencies and such.

‘… Ivar, I am serious!’ she had protested once, when Ivar had started laughing at her worried tone on the phone ‘… I want that sweet boy to be at the most ease, in my house’.

‘Mom, (Y/N) will probably bring crutches if he needs it and you buying some would only make her even more nervous. And let me tell you: she is already terrified by you’ he had explained, because although his mother was important for him, he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with her.

And neither he wanted Freydis to be.

Although, unlike with you, there wasn’t much that could be done with Freydis, since both the women had closed off the option of a possible relationship between each other, which made it difficult to even feel something for the other.

You, instead, had always wanted to be loved.

You cared too much for people’s opinion, no matter the fact that sometimes you just couldn’t be liked by everyone.

And he couldn’t help but to think that was probably how your friendship had started back then.

He made you wait just a few more minutes, moving in your car, although he noted to himself that had he ever had trouble choosing a Christmas gift for you, he should have definitely gone with a new vehicle, since the poor thing you drove looked ready to kill itself from any moment.

He sat behind with Eric, to have more space for his legs and be more comfortable, as you pushed forward the car seat to allow him more space, meanwhile Eric saluted him from the car booster seat, smiling as Ivar moved to kiss his forehead, as you checked from the front mirror.

“… do you have everything you need?” you asked, softly, meanwhile you tried to start up the car and for a moment Ivar thought of suggesting you took his car, although he knew that it might have been difficult to use since it was set up for his needs.

“Yeah, don’t worry” he replied, as he adjusted himself, pushing the safety belt to click in its place “… is everything alright with you, two?”.

“Oh yeah, Eric is literally the most excited about today” and although you maintained a cheerful tone, it was obvious that you were nervous, although your eyes were hidden by sunglasses “… he woke me up at 6 a.m.”.

And now he understood the need for the sunglasses.

Eric clapped his hands, unable to stop himself from giggling loudly, and Ivar couldn’t help but find it adorable gently mimicking him much to your grimace.

But a light smirk appeared on your face as you pushed yourself away from the parking lot, setting up the map on your phone.

“Can we put music on, mom?” asked Eric, who looked like he could have fought anybody off, in that same moment “… please, please, pleeeeaseee”.

“Ok ok” you mumbled, before shooting a look at Ivar “… if your dad doesn’t mind”.

It felt strange, the way you said it.

For once you hadn’t called him Ivar and neither ‘he’, but ‘your dad’ almost as if you had recognized his role in Eric’s life.

Which wasn’t an easy and quick feat.

And he appreciated it.

“I don’t think I have much choice” he muttered softly, as he shot you a quick look, seeing your reaction on the mirror of the car, again that soft smile, barely there, but it was there.

“… truly, when you are a parent, you have none”.

---

The trip had been quiet.

Although Eric had moved himself around at the beat of the music for a few minutes, he had eventually drifted off to sleep and neither you nor Ivar had had the heart to wake him up, instead drifting off in a mindless chatter between you two, meanwhile you driver to your destination.

You had also confessed him that you, yourself, had had some problematic bleeding during your time with Eric, telling him that it was natural and that rest in most cases was the best way to go.

And Ivar explained to you that she’d have her mother over, some kind of dubiousness in his words, but again you didn’t dare sticking your nose in his thoughts and problems, instead telling him that during pregnancy you had indeed grown closer to your mother.

A lump in your throat appeared as you thought about your father instead.

It seemed that the women of your family were cursed with men that wouldn’t simply stick.

But meanwhile Ivar was doing his best to be there for his son, your father had left once it had gotten hard, pushing you and Eric away, something that made you a bit sad, and you were almost glad for Ivar’s comfortable presence.

You might have felt uncomfortable for the crush you had been harboring for him, but some things had never changed and the complicity you had always shared had remained and you were thankful for it, now that both your souls had grown quieter and reconciled.

Ivar guided you to his past house, although you had memorized the road when you were ten and could have still reached it blindly.

But you let Ivar think that you had forgotten some things.

Once you were set up in the free parking lot, having arrived first, Ivar woke up softly Eric a gesture that made your heart clench a bit, because although Ivar wasn’t known for being the most emotional man you knew, he was just so gentle with his son.

And the sole thought of it, somehow, hurt you.

You got out of the car, asking Ivar if he could buckle up Eric back in his braces, as you got the few things out of the car to be able to lose as little of time as you could.

Ivar did it quickly, meanwhile Eric still clang on him, half asleep, making you smirk softly, steadying himself against your pants, as Ivar grabbed his travel bag and you your own trolley, spending a few extra minutes to lock the car.

Because you were extremely nervous.

Although you had no reason to be.

Aslaug didn’t need to examine you, as a girlfriend or as a mother.

But you still… felt uneasy at the thought of disappointing her.

And Ivar noticed it.

He gently pushed his hand onto your back, not too close to be truly intimate neither too strong to be possessive, but it was calming and you shot him back a slight thankful smile, as Eric, again shy, hid behind you both, leaning on your trolley.

And then Ivar rang the door.

And before you could say anything to comfort Eric and yourself, the door was opened.

It revealed a graceful woman, in an elegant set of comfortable clothes, a pair of pastel sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt, something that you hadn’t thought you had ever seen the prim and proper woman wear.

But that wasn’t the sole surprise.

She obviously immediately focused her eyes on Ivar and you were glad of it, although it was almost awkward to stand there, but you endured it gladly, happy not to have the attention on you.

Which didn’t last.

Because once she got up from hugging Ivar, she moved her attention towards you and you were also enveloped in a tight hug, the entire gesture contrasting so much with her ice queen persona that you remembered that it sent you in sensory overload.

And you were glad that it finished pretty quickly, making you smile at the woman as she softly saluted you.

‘… oh gods, it has been so so long since I last saw you” she commented softly, shooting you a quick look “… and you look like not a single day has passed”.

“You also do look the same” you replied tightly, surprised by her warm personality, but soon Aslaug’s attention shifted away from you and onto Eric, hiding himself behind you both, as the older woman crunched down to be at eye-level with Eric.

“… and who is this handsome young man?” she asked with a soft smile, as Eric gained a bit of confidence with all those compliments, moving forward and holding out an hand for Aslaug, as you had told him to do.

The older woman, already on the verge of a crying attack, accepted it welcomingly, commenting how much he looked like his father as a baby.

‘… but you do seem much nicer’ she joked, as she gently lead him inside, checking with you if you were comfortable, to which you nodded, because although you had been unsure about all of this, you couldn’t help but be sweetened up by Aslaug’s soft gestures.

Ivar shot you an amused look as he moved inside, pushing the travel bag to sling over his shoulders, so that it wouldn’t annoy him with his braces, as you moved inside.

As soon as you were inside a storm of memories caught you, unable to truly ever forget the many things that had happened there, the many adventures that you had gone through thanks to the Lothbrocks.

And although there were many things you regretted…

… this wasn’t one of those.

“… it didn’t change in the slightest” you breathed out, as you took in the vintage furniture, matched with pastel fabrics that made it seem like a mixture between an haunted house and a magical castle.

“Mom wouldn’t agree” commented Ivar as you both reached the cloakroom to deposit your coats and to leave there your luggage “… she says that everything has changed since we have gone away”.

“Don’t make me think about it!” you muttered, shooting an ironic look at the roof, meanwhile Ivar giggled with overexaggerated annoyance.

“He is only five!” he reminded you, and you shot back a glare that told him ‘he just wouldn’t understand’ “… you, moms, are all the same: overthinking everything and everyone”.

“Don’t even try to talk ‘momma’s boy’ “you taunted him, and again you were right in between that friendship and that crush stadiums of your relationships that made moments like this irresistible and the most difficult for you.

“… my lips are sealed” muttered gingerly Ivar, although he moved to distance himself from you, clearly showing his uneasiness to this, something for which you were grateful.

And you both moved to the kitchen where Aslaug had brought Eric, making sure that he did a second breakfast in full fashion, completely spoiling his child and looking at him with a curiosity that made it seem like she was examining a strange animal.

You had had a small talk with Eric to explain him who Aslaug was and how to behave with her, promoting a more rigid behavior, that might have been not what was proper actually for the welcoming they had received.

“… I hope you didn’t mind that I gave him something” and with ‘something’ she probably meant half of the food in her kitchen “… I am used to my boys being quite hungry”.

You tried not to grimace at the ‘my boys’, but still chastised Eric a bit, not wanting to deny him the food he needed, but if he ate all those things not only he would have been on a sugar high by this afternoon, but he also might have not eaten anything at Thanksgiving lunch.

And yet you noticed the unsure look on Aslaug’s face, reminding you one of your own when you had been the young girl, waiting for her examination.

And although you knew it wasn’t proper, you almost snickered with yourself for it.

“… don’t worry” you simply commented, dabbing almost possessively Eric’s lips, trying to gain some control back, as you showed Aslaug that although you appreciated her concern and gentleness, you were Eric’s mother.

And she seemed to understand it as she distanced herself lightly, focusing her attention on her son.

And noticing solely now that Freydis was indeed missing.

‘Where is she?’ she asked, with a light scrunching of her eyebrows, which you recognized as ‘the look of disappointment’ otherwise known as the ‘I am judging you’ face.

And for a moment you didn’t want to be in Freydis’ place.

“She has had some problem with the pregnancy” immediately Aslaug’s eyes tightened on him, evidently worried “… she has been bleeding a bit, and although the doctor has told us that it isn’t anything worrying, he said to avoid stress”.

And facing a mother-in-law like Aslaug could be quite stressful.

So, you didn’t blame her.

“… and why aren’t you with her?” her voice was slightly lowered, not to be heard by a rather disinterested Eric, his gaze focused on trying to steal a few more handmade cookies, which you tried out for yourself, and you had to say that Aslaug certainly hadn’t lost her touch.

And you hoped they weren’t poisoned.

“Mom…” Ivar’s voice was indeed a bit annoyed “… she insisted about remaining home and I didn’t leave her alone, she is with her mom”.

This comforted you and Aslaug, honestly, as the woman moved her gaze onto Eric, who had finally shifted his focus on his grandma, suddenly having woken up fully from the food and tiredness nap he had been having.

“… so… you are my other grandma?”.

You were tempted to almost facepalm yourself, because if Eric had inherited one bad trait from Ivar it was his uneasy bluntness and you couldn’t help but blush a bit, almost worried of Aslaug’s reaction.

She had recognized your role as a mother, and she had even hugged you.

And then your child went like and literally called her ‘his other grandma’.

She was probably already questioning your parenting skills and…

… and she started laughing, loudly.

And you and Ivar soon joined, Ivar more truly than you, who croaked almost as a newborn bird, meanwhile Eric looked at you all, as if the inside joke you had said wasn’t funny and he wasn’t getting it, till Aslaug softly moved an hand towards his smaller one and muttered softly.

“Yes, sweetheart” she muttered softly, as she reached out to straighten up his hair, as he brought them away “… I am grandma, Aslaug”.

“Oh, that is a cool name!” Eric chanted, looking with bright eyes at your grandma “… like the name of the princess Ragnar marries!”

Not even the mention of Ragnar was enough to make a soft smile disappear from Aslaug’s face, as she did nod and confirm that ‘it was the same name indeed’, before she shot you a quick laugh, embarrassment written on her face.

And insecurities.

You encouraged her with a soft smile, and she asked you whether she could play a bit with Eric, outside.

‘It shouldn’t be too cold’ she explained ‘… and don’t worry… I have set up a small table and a few things for him…’.

You couldn’t help but be extremely warmed up by the way Aslaug seemed to already care for Eric, although your uneasiness was still there, constantly worried that these people might leave Eric’s life, leaving him heartbroken.

But you also knew that although Aslaug was an ice queen, she was truthful in every little gesture of her.

And when she swore, she meant it.

Ivar had definitely taken that after her.

‘Mom can I go?’ insisted Eric, shooting you a deep look, as you moved to lay a soft kiss on his forehead, before you allowed them both to go outside, sending him a light smirk as Aslaug smiled at you gratefully.

‘… just wear a jacket and an hat!’.

Ivar who had watched carefully the scene, laughed again at your worry, but you caught the way he attentively looked outside to make sure that everything was indeed Eric-proofed, although he shouldn’t have doubted his mother.

Since she had been through that with her own son.

You wondered whether she was so immediately attracted by Eric because of the similarity with Ivar.

But you didn’t have too much time to mind to these things, because suddenly there was a ring to the door and your small safe haven was becoming a crowded family function.

Shit, you were nervous again.

Ivar’s brothers now did know that you and Ivar had a child together.

He had told them after you had agreed to be there on Thanksgiving day, and he had taken it upon himself to contact them to give them the news, since you had both agreed that it would have been awkward to discover it in that moment.

Although you honestly hoped you could keep that secret for a bit more.

You weren’t ashamed of Eric or of having Ivar back in your life, although it was simply as a co-parent to your five-year-old, but you knew perfectly that Ivar’s brothers had always had a certain image of you.

An image that even after all this bullshit you felt like you had to upheld.

And you couldn’t, anymore.

And you hadn’t ever told this to Ivar, when you were together, but you hadn’t ever felt truly comfortable with his brothers.

Hvitserk was okay, although he was a bit too flirty for you, but he had taken the hint once you had threatened him of cutting his ‘beloved friends’ off and Sigurd was nice, although he could be twice as childish as Ivar, sending you the demo of many of his songs, expecting you to listen to them in a few minutes.

But they were ok.

You did dislike Ubbe, since you couldn’t help but feel at unease with him, although he was the calmer of the brothers, but you couldn’t help but think about the infamous ‘look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it’ phrase.

Although you didn’t personally know much, since you had moved away, you had heard many rumors about him, and his numerous affairs, ending up his marriage with Margrethe, ruining the poor girl, and ending up marrying his brother’s wife.

If this wasn’t a scandal straight from a telenovela, you didn’t know what to call it.

But who you truly disliked was Bjorn.

He was the older son and thankfully he was their stepbrother, so he wasn’t around much time.

He had quite some toxic behaviors, starting from being a serial cheater and not a believer in monogamy, going on with the fact that he left whenever it got too hard, and although he wouldn’t be there for that lunch (which was a relief) you still didn’t like his presence.

And you secretly, not so much, hoped not to meet him.

He had been the most against your relationship with Ivar.

He had been constantly telling Ivar that he was losing out on being in a relationship at his age, but Ivar hadn’t cared much for his words, although you knew that he looked up at Bjorn almost like an hawk as if in that way he could steal his place as Ragnar’s heir.

But back in the time you hadn’t said much.

Ivar’s relationship with his brothers was already broken up by jealousy and the typical emotional angst, so you hadn’t wanted to add much more.

But now… having to face both Hvitserk and Ubbe, who brought Torvi with himself, they made you bit your tongue both for anxiety…

… and both to keep inside your words.

You felt a stranger left in the kitchen as Ivar opened the door, welcomed them inside with snarky remarks and sarcastic comebacks, but you could almost smell their interest and curiosity for you.

Ivar had told you they had taken the news well, but Sigurd had told you that both Ubbe and Bjorn had freaked out terribly in the chat, muttering things about your child and about the fact that Ivar was ‘stupid’ for taking it in so easily, without testing yourds.

Hvitserk had been the only one welcoming it, already muttering all the things he’d teach your child as his ‘favorite uncle’.

If Ubbe and Bjorn kept on acting like that, he and Sigurd would have soon been Eric’s sole uncles.

You wouldn’t have let your child grow up in such a disrespect.

You understood their uneasiness at your revelation, but you had expected some more confidence, because although you hadn’t been friends, truly, you had grown up together.

And Ubbe, himself, shouldn’t have muttered much after he had adopted the sons of another man, after he had ‘stolen’ away his bride.

Was there something truly different in what he had done and in what Ivar was doing with Eric?

But you reigned in your sourness, welcoming them inside the kitchen with a smile.

And for the first time in his life, Hvitserk moved to you immediately, ignoring completely the sweet treats on the table, laid out solely for his enjoyment, since Eric and Aslaug, the only one who would have dared to stop him, were outside, overlooked from the windows of the kitchen by Ivar.

He hugged you so tightly that he swung you off the chair you were comfortably sat on, making you giggle at his affectionate antics, before he hounded you to know where ‘his little nephew was’.

“… Gosh, I still can’t believe that Ivar was the one to forget about the condom rule, among all of us” now you were definitely embarrassed and Ivar shot an annoyed look at him, telling him to back off “… but I am glad that you are back here!”.

“Apparently I couldn’t run away that far” you commented, meaning for it to be ironical, but there was some truth behind it, and Ivar noticed it, his eyes growing a bit darker, as Hvitserk’s attention finally caught the cookies on the table.

And you were left dealing with Torvi and Ubbe.

The woman presented herself to you, since you didn’t know her if not from what you had heard from Ivar and Sigurd.

She was quite nice with you, at least being polite and gentle, and Ubbe was simply nice, something in his straight and tight pose making it difficult for you to feel relaxed and not awkward.

But still… you survived it.

And were glad to simply settle back in the background noise, meanwhile the brotherly chatter began, and you moved to Ivar’s side by the windows, noticing that Aslaug was trying to teach Eric some gardening.

‘She will get along quickly with my mom’ you muttered ‘… she works with a florist these days’.

“She has taken to gardening after we all went away…” there was something almost nostalgic in his voice “… as with yoga, pilates and a few hundred other hobbies… she always wonder why we are so restless and she blames it onto Ragnar, but the truth is…”

Now a proud smile lighted up Ivar’s gorgeous face, showing you the growth that he had gone through in those years where you hadn’t seen each other.

“… the truth is that she has a wild streak in herself”.

You were surprised by the door opening one more time, signaling that another guest had been welcomed, a guest you hadn’t expected as everyone else in the room.

The awkward silence intensifying in the room, as Ragnar walked in.

A grimace on his face as if he hadn’t expected everyone to look at him like an annoying mosquito, something that was quite evident in both his eldest and his youngest, meanwhile Hvitserk was still focused on the cookies.

Which you did also.

You were definitely much more uncomfortable now, but at the same time you felt a bit unrelated to all this family drama, glad when Aslaug walked in, to make Eric wash his hands, evidently having noticed that quite some time had already passed.

She noticed Ragnar and concealed quite well the surprise in her eyes, simply muttering a few orders at her children, meanwhile Eric ran to you, and you tried to isolate yourself asking him what he had been doing and what Aslaug had taught him.

Ivar also came closer, crouching down at his side, and that was what caught Ragnar’s eyes as he noticed the small family that had formed before his eyes, after he had exchanged a few unpleasant and rigid comments with his sons.

“… I thought you were with blondie” the comment was insensitive on so many aspects.

But when had Ragnar ever been attentive with Ivar?

Aslaug had smothered him, and Ragnar had tried, the few time he was in his life, to reverse the whole project with a steely discipline and a barely concealed disdain for Ivar’s disability.

“… none of your business, dad” Ivar muttered, pointing out each word, as you gently tried to lead Eric away from the confrontation that was soon to erupt, Aslaug noticing it and taking you with her, to find a vase for the flowers she and Eric had picked.

And you exchanged a soft smile with her, thankful for the distraction.

And as Eric roamed for the storage room, under your watchful eyes, choosing a proper vase, you muttered a gentle ‘thank you’.

‘… I…’ the words burned on Aslaug’s tongue, and you definitely felt like that was another thing Ivar had for sure inherited by her “… think I am the one who should say ‘thank you’ this time, this time, actually… and sorry”.

You were surprised but didn’t try to stop that discourse.

“… I didn’t mean to be horrid to you” she explained “… I never… thought you were, I actually was just worried about Ivar’s heart… although it wasn’t… my business”.

“I…” you knew that you should have said something like ‘don’t worry’ or ‘it isn’t a problem’, but you just felt like hiding behind pretty words wouldn’t have helped you, even more in this situation with Aslaug “… apologies accepted”.

She smiled brightly at you.

“… I know… that this isn’t a proper situation and Ivar and you have much more to discuss, but…” her mutter was almost the one of a scared child “… I’d like to be present in Eric’s life, if you ever need an help… I do know of your mother…”.

“I hope not to sound rude, but…” your tone was light and at the same time heavy “… it is just… I need a bit of time. I handled this alone, with only my mom on my side for so long, and now it is just strange to have all these people around you…”.

Aslaug nodded, although she wasn’t able to shed the sadness from her face.

But then you reached out for her hand.

“… but with time, I do hope to let you in” you softened your tone “… Eric needs his family with him”.

And she smiled the absolute brightest, right as Eric came back with the biggest vase.

“Can we use this?!”.

---

Ivar had always loved Ragnar, as a child.

He had seen him as his own hero, the sole he could relate to and the sole he could trust, but moving on with years and Ragnar’s numerous disappearances, the love and admiration had become distrust and hate.

For a father that had never wanted him.

But Ragnar still had his own influence on him.

Starting from the fact that for a long time children had been a very touchy subject for him and one more reason why he had chosen the fertilization in vitro.

To avoid his children developing any pathologies, like him.

Ragnar had wanted Aslaug to abort him.

It was a truth that Ivar had learned when he was fourteen, hormones full blown and annoyed at everything, once overhearing one of the many fights going on between Ragnar and Aslaug.

Since he was ten year old, Ragnar used his mother’s house as an hotel, constantly checking in and out, maybe playing with his sons for a little time, but many other times he’d tell them his magical journeys and stories.

And most of the time, it’d end up with Ragnar screaming at Aslaug.

And her screaming back at him.

Once, when they had gotten quite heated, mostly because Aslaug had told him that she was tired of taking care of his child with no help form him whatsoever, Ragnar had shot back that maybe she should have aborted Ivar when she had the time.

And Ivar, ‘Ivar The Boneless’, as his brothers always nicknamed him, had cried for an entire afternoon, after hearing that.

But this hadn’t shattered Ivar’s heart, not yet.

He had followed his father as a puppy, and he remembered the way many fights had erupted between you two for that, because of Ivar’s faithful behavior to somebody who didn’t deserve it.

Going to college and distancing himself from both his parents, he had learned that what you had complained about had been true, and his relationship with his father had been much more distanced, although he worked in the family business.

But he was trying to form his own legacy.

Hence Ragnar’s presence just brought him back in the past.

And he hated the feeling of being inferior that he felt.

He had been feeling so well, with the knowledge of yours and Aslaug’s relationship, mending as he noticed the desperate happiness in his mother’s eyes at finally meeting her first grandchild.

… he was indeed having a good time, without overthinking the whole ‘Freydis-You-Eric’ situation but now another thing was added to that dangerous math.

“Isn’t she…” Ragnar scratched the back of his head, as if it helped with remembering “… your old best friend? And how old is the child? Did you seriously hide a child for so long?”.

His tone was joking, but strangely arrogant and Ivar wondered if Heahmund felt that way when Ivar spoke to him.

… maybe he should have apologized.

Because he was extremely annoyed by Ragnar’s behavior.

“Which part of ‘none of your business’ don’t you understand?” he shot back, and Ragnar seemed seriously hit, his movements a bit slowed down probably from the few shots of tequila he had taken before coming here.

“I am just… I am…” the words weren’t slurred, but he was fully drunk, although his chain of reason seemed quite clouded by whatever he had taken “… you are my children you are my business”.

He shot a small look at all ‘his children’ in the room, trying to regain some sympathy but it wasn’t much useful, since they all were on Ivar’s side for once.

Both Hvitserk and Ubbe were neutral to his father, but this didn’t mean that they would have ever taken his side, even more as grown-ups.

“… we stopped being your business, after we were five and I got chicken pox and you were on the other part of the world, screwing somebody, meanwhile mom took care of four children all by herself” commented Hvitserk, something that definitely put Ragnar in great unease, not knowing how to react at that.

Not that he had to, since his son returned to eating, but it was clear that there was a quite some distance between him and his sons.

And Ivar didn’t like his presence even more, because he didn’t want Ragnar around Eric and neither did you, since you hadn’t known about it, having been assured that he wouldn’t be there.

But his father always found ways back to them.

His mother had never been able to fully delete him from their life and neither she had tried to delete him fully, at least for the sake of their children, and he couldn’t make it a fault to her, but he hoped his father would just take a hint.

“… I just… I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving” commented Ragnar, raising his hands as if to surrender anything he might have wanted “… with my family”.

And nobody could deny it.

Although they could make it true hell for him.

In the end the brothers decided to keep to themselves as Ragnar stood in the middle of the room rather awkwardly, meanwhile you and Aslaug returned in that moment with a vase that was bigger than Eric, the small boy trumping happily between the two women, as Aslaug and you shared a few interesting botanical facts.

He wished he could see the same happening with Freydis.

But he tried to make his thoughts quiet, not truly knowing how to deal with Eric and Ragnar, so for now he just tried to act the best way possible, meanwhile he helped ‘his little man’ with the vase.

“… no no, Dad! I am strong like Thor!” protested loudly Eric, but you did send Ivar a look as if to say ‘do check on him’, meanwhile Aslaug adjusted the flowers, the other brothers quickly finding excuses to disperse from the kitchen: Hvitserk going to the bathroom and Ubbe and Torvi going to his old room, so that they could do a few calls.

He had hoped Ragnar would get a hint too, but he didn’t.

And he came close to Eric, as the child sat down to help his grandma and you, your eyes immediately trained on Ragnar, who sent you a small smile, probably not recognizing you fully, although he had indeed recognized you as Ivar’s ‘best friend’.

You didn’t look definitely happy to see Ragnar, but you didn’t let it be seen on your face, although you were attentive with the way Ragnar moved closer to your son.

Because he wasn’t certainly an idiot, and he must have done the math to realize that the child was Ivar’s, no matter the amount of alcohol and drugs that he had put in his system to numb it.

“… hi” he muttered, as he came to Eric’s side, the boy’s eyes suddenly moving onto him, as he shot you a surprised look, again shyness in his eyes and Aslaug chastised Ragnar with a warning smile.

“Hi” replied Eric, as he turned to him, after you had lightly nodded, but still putting an hand on the back of your child, as Ivar came to your side, something that made you send him a soft thankful smile.

He couldn’t help but feel something deep inside him fall in love again with that smile.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked, as Eric shook his head, and Ragnar sent a look at Ivar, who sent one to you.

He hadn’t meant to make you live this situation, knowing perfectly well how much this would have made you nervous, because for sure you hadn’t expected to be surrounded by so many people and not only because he did remember that you were an introvert…

… but it must have been a big change to go from nobody knowing anything to everybody knowing about ‘your dirty little secret’.

But you decided to do your best to make something good out of an awful situation.

And you invited Ragnar to explain it to him, with a small look, that spoke the words ‘don’t fuck it up’.

“… I am your grandpa” commented the man, as Eric’s eyes became bright like stars, as he clapped his hands, strongly.

“Grandpa!” he called him excitedly “… do you want to come with me to my soccer games?”.

The question was so innocent and adorable that even Ragnar cracked up a tender smile as he nodded your hand, although he could totally feel you grimace at that, but you gave Eric your best smile, as Aslaug suggested that she got the vase set up, and you helped Eric washed his hands properly.

Effectively leaving Ivar and Ragnar alone.

You shot him a small look to check with him, before joining after Eric, and he wasn’t able to stop himself from thinking about the past and about how your constant support had meant so much for you.

And he had been stupid enough to take it for granted.

“Where did that one plop off?” commented loudly Ragnar, once you all were out of earshot, making Ivar grimace and for a minute he thought that he could have just ignored him and hoped he’d just ‘magically’ disappear.

Since he was so good at that.

But if Ivar had inherited something from him was that shit-eating attitude that would have stopped him from backing off and relenting, even when it was clear he had lost.

“… I discovered about him a few months ago” explained Ivar, trusting the fact that Ragnar wasn’t truly listening.

That he wasn’t truly interested in what he had to say.

Ragnar was only interested in what he, himself, had to say.

“… (Y/N), his mother, didn’t let me know about his existence till I found out, because she was sure I didn’t want him in my life…” which was strangely what had been happening with him in his family, so he couldn’t blame you truly for having had that thought “… turns out she was wrong”.

“So, you took him in” he spoke of Eric almost as if it was a charity case and Ivar had to hold back the rage in him “… that’s a good action, son”.

“I am trying to avoid becoming like you” he commented, a sneak attack at Ragnar who showed the sufferance of it but stabilized quickly “… abandoning the children that I fathered as if they were simple trash”.

“… but is this true?” he shot back, letting out an amused breath “… because I do think that you are following in my footsteps perfectly”.

“No, I am not” he ground out his teeth as he growled out the words.

“Then where is the pretty blonde I saw the last time?” Ragnar asked loudly “… and I don’t think that you are married with the mother of your child… so, I do think that you are handling them both… unsure of what to do”.

And this was damnably true.

“You know nothing” it was stupid, but he hoped it’d shut up the entire situation, because it was making him feel just worse.

Would he seriously end up like his father?

Old and with a myriad of problems?

He hoped not to.

He had wanted to become bigger than him, in his job, but he had also wanted to become better than him, family-wise, that was the reason behind his choice of Freydis.

Why he had let himself be convinced so easily in what sounded like the fairytale life.

But was it truly?

Even more when he felt so perfectly with you and Eric.

“… but I do” it was barely a whisper.

But Ivar didn’t have a good enough reply for that.

---

Ragnar’s appearance at the Thanksgiving lunch had undoubtedly put a bit of a damper on your mood, but you tried your best to take care of Eric, letting the baby interact with his grandpa.

Eric missed greatly your father and his grandfather.

Your grandfather had been extremely attached to Eric, and his disappearance had been so sudden that Eric had simply thought, for a whole week after he had run away, that he’d be back soon.

He had just gone on a trip.

And when the knowledge he wouldn’t have come back had settled in, Eric had grown much more silent, and he had kept this behavior till he had met again Ivar, developing again his cheery personality, for which you were thankful.

But at the same time, it made you worried.

And although Ragnar had been gentle with Eric, you didn’t exactly want him around your child, had his tendency to disappear kept on being present in his tumultuous soul.

Eric had had enough instability in his life, and you didn’t want to add much more.

But you had bigger problems at hand.

Hvitserk had been introduced to Eric and he kept on trying to teach him some dirty limericks, much to your, Aslaug’s and Ivar’s annoyance, who all shot him an annoyed glare.

But you were glad that Eric was having fun with his uncle and you were even gladder by the soft-spoken approach Hvitserk had been having about it, completely treating the situation as if it was completely normal.

Unlike Ubbe who kept on shooting attentive glances at the child.

But you ignored it, in favor of having a few chats with Aslaug and Torvi.

In the end, by the time the lunch was ready, you were definitely much more comfortable and although you tried to keep your bigger emotions at bay, you almost felt… involved in the family.

And you were unsure if it was a good thing or not.

You were glad for that environment for Eric, who was definitely at ease and happy.

You hoped you could keep the same thing up after Freydis had her own child, something that put you a bit at unease, not wanting to push yourself in a situation where you didn’t belong, knowing perfectly well how much care a newborn baby required from both parents…

… and although Ivar was handling quite well the situation…

… you hoped the new baby wouldn’t have been leading Ivar away from Eric, when they were both that close.

Although it was a selfish thought.

But for now, you tried to push away those awful thoughts.

And enjoyed the moment.

By lunchtime Eric had already gotten a few new toys by Ivar, something that had made you quirk a brow at the man himself, but he had just smirked slightly as if to say ‘what can I do about it’.

Well, if Eric was going to grow up as a spoiled brat, he’d have had to do something.

But for now, you enjoyed seeing your beloved Eric all happy and playful.

Aslaug was nice also, certainly having grown quite close to the child, although not much time had passed, but you had smiled with pride, as she had complimented you for the amazing education he had received…

‘… unlike somebody else’ she had muttered looking at her children: Ubbe on his phone, Hvitserk with something stuck in his mouth and Ivar trying to figure out a lego castle for his son ‘… I swear I tried my best’.

‘I do believe it’ you shot back, with a small smile.

Also Aslaug tried her best to avoid talking about Ragnar or with him, and he on his part did his best to avoid both her and Ivar, moving onto the sofa, as he watched a game, soon joined by Hvitserk.

Eric instead helped Aslaug out after the lunch, bringing her dishes from the table to the kitchen sink, although he barely reached the table, helped by you and Ivar.

‘The portrait of a family’ commented tightly Ragnar, something that put you and Ivar through a lot of uneasy embarrass, but you handled it at your best for the wellness of your mental health.

As you all settled down for a small and calm after lunch coffee, the food having lessened the differences among each other soon you found yourself dozing off, happily, on the sofa.

Lately you had been doing a lot of night shifts at the art gallery, because they were better paid and you felt more comfortable being able to take care of Eric in the afternoon, so you could help him with homework and bring him to soccer practice and doctor appointments.

You must have simply closed your eyes for moment just to wake up when you felt tiny fists hitting lightly your stomach and opened your eyes to find a rather happy Eric, blowing in your face to push your hair away.

And outside it was utter and fully dark.

Shit.

You looked all around yourself immediately seeing that you weren’t on the sofa anymore, and you had been tucked in what you remembered being Ivar’s old bedroom.

You couldn’t help but be worried sick, immediately checking your watch and discovering it was already 7 p.m.

You had slept for four hours.

Which would have been reasonable, hadn’t you basically fallen asleep at your ex’ house, when you had promised to bring him back to his pretty wife right after lunch.

You couldn’t help but have this feeling of having basically fucked up everything.

And Eric kept on jumping on the bed.

“… sweetie” you called out to him, realizing that if you had been napping all this time he had had the time to replenish himself of sugar and would end up probably breaking his brakes if he kept on jumping in that way “… where is your father?”.

“Dad is downstairs” explained Eric, as you gently grabbed him on his waist to calm him down and bring him an hug, indulging a moment more enjoying the warmth of that soft body and the smell of light sweat and cuddles that Eric always had on his clothes.

Before his words truly registered.

And you realized Ivar hadn’t gone back.

To his very pregnant wife.

Because of you.

As soon as you managed to settle down Eric and make him move after you, you descended downstairs, to catch he Lothbrocks in what looked like a challenge of GTA.

All the brothers were playing, cursing lightly at each other, meanwhile Aslaug glared at them for those curses and Ragnar cheered them on, with a beer in his hand.

It almost seemed a normal family.

And then immediately their attention was onto you, as Eric loudly chased after you, his brakes stumping against the soft moquette of the house, as you noticed he wasn’t wearing shoes, Aslaug catching your gaze and explaining to you:

‘He seemed uncomfortable and I thought he’d feel better without shoes…’ she set you a small look ‘… I hope you didn’t mind it’.

‘No no, if you don’t’ you spoke back, before you sent Ivar a pleading look, and he abandoned the newest round of the game, among brotherly insults, as Hvitserk slapped his ass, and Eric had a quite gleaming look at that gesture, making you send him a glare.

You expected Ivar to be angry.

He was always angry when things didn’t go the way he wanted.

He was a perfectionist in each thing, even more in his own plans.

But Ivar simply looked at you softly, as you hurriedly moved to explain that you could still make it time for you to arrive at 9 p.m. back in the city and to please apologize to Freydis for your accidental…

‘Hey… don’t worry’ because as much as he hadn’t changed from the perfectionist he was, you continued on stumbling on your own words whenever you were nervous, as you did back in the time ‘… I have actually asked mom if you could stay here in the guest room with Eric. I don’t want you to drive with this tiredness’.

‘I slept, I am completely energized’ you replied loudly and then yawned ruining completely the effect of your words, and earning a soft raised eyebrow from Ivar ‘… and I wouldn’t want to bother… Aslaug was already nice enough to have me for lunch…’.

‘… she doesn’t mind, and she prefer to have me safe on the road’ he explained ‘… Freydis also said the same’.

‘Gosh I just feel so awfully for having fallen asleep!’ you commented breathing loudly ‘… I swear that I totally understand if Freydis is angry with me’.

‘I actually…’ he started with a smile that wasn’t truly a smile, but something to hide his uneasiness ‘… actually I think that she is grateful for that. I can be pretty annoying…’.

Which you didn’t certainly deny.

But at the same time, you would have been eager to have him back at home, had you been pregnant as Freydis, although you didn’t regret your pregnancy and certainly didn’t need a man by your side, but…

… having him back home with you would have made you feel better.

Although Ivar could be indeed quite suffocating when he was trying to be ‘overprotective’.

But again, it wasn’t any of your business.

‘… are you sure?’ you simply mumbled, feeling like you could have survived a bit more with Aslaug’s food and a bit of relax, although you had to get to your phone, probably, before your mother came to search you, here, herself.

The brothers all left before dinner and in the end, it was simply you and Eric, Aslaug and Ragnar, the latter basically falling asleep on the sofa, right after the meal.

Aslaug stayed up just in time for supper, before retiring to her chambers, probably a bit tired by the fact that she had had to handle an ex-husband, one child and three grown-ups who were like children, mentally.

You and Eric also left soon, as Ivar took care of switching off the lights and setting the alarm, but you knew that he also needed a bit of private time to talk with Freydis.

And you had to set a five-year-old with too much sugar in bed, washing him up and changing him in comfortable clothes, making sure he got his meds.

As you were changing him, Ivar knocked on your door, to wish you goodnight and offer you a set of pajama, which you immediately recognized as an old pair you had left at his house when you were fifteen and used to sleep over there, enough that you had started leaving pajamas as clues in Ivar’s wardrobe.

But you couldn’t deny still the surprise you felt when you had it in your hands, laughing lightly as you wondered whether you’d be able to fit in them.

“… I can’t believe that you still have it” you mumbled, stretching it out in front of you to take in the awful sloth decoration on it, and the obnoxious white color that had become a dirtied yellow for too many wash-ups.

“Mom must have noticed it and washed it” he commented dryly, and you could detect the lies in his words, but were grateful to sleep into something familiar and not your uncomfortable clothes.

And it smelled like Ivar.

As if you were back at the times when you had just been invited to sleep over at his house, once your parents’ fighting had become too intense for you, and you had just snuggled closer to him, his smell immediately comforting you.

And it still comforted you to this day.

“Thank you” you muttered, as Eric moved forward to receive his ‘goodnight kiss’ and his ‘goodnight story’, something that effectively seemed to ease him up, meanwhile he settled in the big bed next to you and you changed in the bathroom, noticing that you had grown a few inches since the last time you had worn the pajama.

It had grown also tight in some other places, and you were almost ashamed of moving yourself outside of the bathroom, eventually bringing yourself to when Eric called out for you, and you tried to keep your eyes down, as you sat beside him in bed, his eyes still shining with some kind of interested ‘curiosity’.

Almost a gleaming mischievousness.

So, you got ready for whatever he was going to ask for.

“Mom!” he chanted out loudly and you shushed him telling him ‘to be mindful of the people sleeping in other rooms’ “… how did you and dad meet?”.

Gosh, didn’t this bring out horrible memories?

And some sweet ones.

Ivar looked as confused as you for the question, but not half-displeased.

“Sweetie, it is a long story…” you started, but Eric looked like he might have not slept for months if he hadn’t heard it, as he pleaded for more.

‘Just another minute!’ he chanted loudly ‘… just another story’.

And eventually both you and Ivar relented, the man’s eyes sparkling brightly, as he started.

“Actually I knew your mother for a long time, since we were tiny like you…” and he went to boop softly his son’s face, making him giggle “… we were best friends for a long time”.

“And then what changed?” asked curiously Eric.

‘Ivar started to look me as a woman, not as simply his best friend’ you wanted to say, but you knew that this wouldn’t have been very PG-13, so you simply opted for a more ‘fairytale-like’ explanation.

“… your dad and I both grew up and so did our deelings, and our friendship became more love” you explained, as you kissed softly his forehead, Ivar’s eyes slowly settling up to you meanwhile you said those words.

And you tried not to let it affect you.

… too much.

Since it was truly impossible not to feel the pressure of those beautiful eyes.

“But if you loved each other why did you…” his brain seemed to settle up links and you honestly were as confused as him to that situation, because in the end although Ivar had told you that he didn’t love you anymore, he hadn’t ever said the reasons behind it “… why are you not together anymore?”.

And you let also this be handled by Ivar.

His eyes shifting on the floor as you, yourself, felt too uncomfortable at that question.

“… we just…” they were blabbers the ones in Ivar’s voice “… I broke your mom’s heart sadly, a lot time ago, and I wasn’t able to do much to repair it in the meanwhile, but…”.

He brought you closer to him, with a loose arm, which made you both seem the picture of awkwardness, but it was enough convincing for Eric.

“… but we are together, now…”.

“… in a way” you added, before moving closer to Eric with a serious look “… and somebody is way past his bath time!”.

And Eric tried to protest a bit more, but eventually he let go, and you switched off the main light, leaving only the one on the bedside table, as Ivar continued on softly combing his hair, something that eventually got Eric to breath out softly, signaling he was asleep.

And Ivar had to leave.

Although you could see he didn’t want to.

And you couldn’t deny him, truly.

“… would you like to lay down for a bit with us?” you asked softly, as you settled on the opposite side of him “… he seems happier and calmer when you are beside him”.

“I never thought somebody would have said that” he commented with a light twinkle in his eyes “… you won’t mind if I stay?”.

You shook your head, telling yourself that it was just for tonight.

It was just for one night.

And then you’d go back to normality.

Sadly.

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