#i will put the listing up probably tomorrow or tuesday i just wanted to get the rest of the stuff out today

[leyyvi]

ETSY LINK HERE CLICKY WOOOO

HEY YA'LL MY ETSY IS OPEN I GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER COME CHECK OUT THE RESULT OF MYT HYPERFIXATIONS WOOOOOOO

these are con leftovers for now but I'm working on a lot more aot stuff still and will have another update for the holidays!

totebags are LIMITED and i do not know when those will be restocked yet if they run out!

LMK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 5 - Put it into Speed Drive

Longer chapter this time! The next update probably won't be until Tuesday, and or Wednesday night and then Thursday.

For planning, after 2023 is up, I will not be keeping up with the actual schedule for the races. The chapters will still come in chronological order, but it won't be week by week. This will be the start of the parallel universe.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please comment! And now enjoy the show :)

You were practically buzzing after the suit fitting. It was just one step closer to getting you in the car. Which would happen very soon. Sunday to be exact. Tomorrow. There were just so many words to describe how soon it was. 

You went from no open doors in F1 to a door that was blown to bits and then shredded, leaving a giant hole for you to just walk through. However, your daydreams of blowing doors up were interrupted by the growl of you stomach. You walked through the door of the fitting room and found Vito right where you left him. 

Such a good manager. 

He was talking to someone though, and you really didn’t want to interrupt. But, your stomach was about to commence in the whale mating call song and you really didn’t want anyone to hear that. Your eyes glanced around before they landed on Mitch, who seemed to just be typing on her tablet. 

You quickly walk over and tap her on the shoulder. “Mitch, uh, where would I be able to find some food?” 

She looked up from her tablet with a smile. Dang, did she just smile at everything? 

“I can take you to get some food if you’d like me to?” she responded. You quickly nodded your head. Taking the lead, Mitch started to walk over to the other side of the sim room. How many rooms were connected to this place? You wondered as she opened a door. 

“This room is one of the more private areas, which in return, gets its own side of the building. From here you’re able to reach just about any other place.” Now that was creepy, could she read your mind? 

Your face must have been in a contemplative look as she let out a small laugh. The walk was short as the two of you entered an all-while room. A small cooking bar was to the left while tables and chairs littered the rest of the floor. Your mouth was wide open. 

You told Mitch, “Dams is not this nice.” A pout came from you. 

“Well, now you don’t have to be jealous. You know that you work here now,” she reminded you as she took a tray and began to walk down the bar. You followed her doing and picked up your own tray. Looking up, you gazed over the menu, trying to find something that looked like it would fit in your diet. 

“By the way, everything here is supposed to go hand in hand with a driver’s diet. So pick anything you’d like,” a voice said from behind the counter. A woman with a hairnet smiled as you finally decided on a club sandwich with some chips (the crunchy kind – not French fries). Once you got your food, you walked over to the table next to the window where Mitch was already sitting. 

You quickly remember that you practically left Vito, so you shot him a quick text letting him know where you were. In typical fashion, she just sent a thumbs up emoji. What a dad. 

The two of you ate in silence for a bit, before Mitch spoke up. 

“So kid, tell me a little bit about yourself.” She took a bite of her sandwich. 

You quickly swallowed. “Uh, I’m 20 years old. I’m from a lot of places, didn’t really stay in one place for long. The longest I stayed anywhere was Texas for 5 years (a.n. shameless plug). I’m pretty introverted and don’t normally talk to others first. I have a little apartment in Nice, but now I think I should look for one close to here. I am an only child. And Danny DeVito is my spirit animal.” 

Mitch almost spit out her drink as her shoulders began to shake. That also got you laughing. “What about you?” you questioned back. You were beginning to feel sad because your sandwich was almost gone. 

“Well, I am 35. I have been at Red Bull for two years now. I was an engineer before this and worked on the car. I don’t have any kids.” 

You interrupted her, “Well now you do.” You pointed at yourself before taking a giant slurp of your drink. 

She rolled her eyes before continuing, “I’ve lived in London my whole life. I have a degree in engineering as well. And my favorite season is fall.” 

Small talk continued as you finished your lunch, or almost dinner. As you looked out the window, you saw that the sun was about to begin to set. You hadn’t realized how long everything had taken. A yawn escaped your lips as you and Mitch made your way back to the simulator room. There Vito was waiting for you, looking ready to go. Saying goodbye with a hug, you told Mitch that you’d see her bright and early for the test drive. 

Not wanting to get left behind, you found yourself sticking to Vito as he guided the two of you back down the poster hallway. At least now you were familiar with the turns and twists. Like the past few days, a car was waiting for you outside. Vito slipped into the driver’s seat while you went around and climbed into the passenger side. 

You immediately connected your phone to sound system. You snickered as you chose the song. 

Vito groaned when he heard the opening notes. You could only laugh as the beat started to pick up. 

“Ah-ah Barbie you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Jump into the driver seat and put it into speed drive,” you sang, directed at Vito. To hear the base a bit more, you turned the volume up. However, when it came to the next verse, and you were about to start yelling, your phone began to ring. 

Arthur’s contact photo, one of you at his birthday, popped up. You immediately answered the face time and yelled. 

“Dude, you threw off my groove!” His laughs could be heard throughout the car as his face got into the camera range.  

“I’m sorry?” 

“You should be. What’s up?” 

“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out later tonight? Since I’m here for testing.” You froze and looked at Vito with wide eyes. You quickly pointed your phone towards the roof of the car. 

You mouthed, “What do I do?” You were scared. What were you supposed to say? Oh hey Arthur, I actually signed a multi-year contract with Red Bull two days ago. Sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner? You definitely could not do that. 

Yet, a slight jut of Vito’s head told you that you could tell him the truth. You inhaled sharply. 

“I’m actually not in Paris at the moment.” Arthur paused. . You only hoped that he wouldn’t be mad at you. 

“You’re not? I thought you were going to be sim testing.” 

“I thought so to. And then I might have gotten a text from…” you muttered the last bit. 

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” He put a hand to his ear. 

You huffed before you shouted, clearly overwhelmed. “I got a text from Christian Horner and I’m driving with Red Bull for 2024!” Your shallowed breaths filled the air. Vito’s hand was placed on your knee for comfort. 

“Well, duh. I knew that dummy?” 

“Hello?” you could only get out. Who told him? 

“You do know that even though my brother may not seem to be friends with Max, they actually are. And Max likes to talk, so he told my brother and my brother told me.” Your eyes must have been bulging. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you sighed, “I didn’t know if I could.” 

Arthur responded, “It’s quite alright. It was fun making you panic for a moment.” 

“You’re an ass. First you interrupt my wonderful concert that Vito was enjoying…” 

“I was not,” Vito leaned towards the phone. 

“As I was saying, men the woman is speaking, and then you decide to make me almost spiral into a panic attack. Not nice TurTur.” You wiggled your finger at the screen. 

He smiled, “I’m actually here in London as well. Thought you might want some company. And Vito invited me to see you drive tomorrow. I’m waiting in your room.” He showed you a room that was almost identical to the one you had at the hotel. You squealed at the thought of seeing him. 

It was a good thing that the car had pulled up to the hotel, because you seat belt flew off in record time. You barely were able to get a quick thank you to the workers before you got to the elevator. You’re sure you pressed the buttons too many times, but the damn thing wouldn’t open any quicker. 

The moment the doors open, you bolted inside, but came into contact with a body, that knocked the two of you over. You said a quick apology before darting to the side and getting in the elevator. You barely saw a neon hoodie and some brown curls before the doors closed. 

Pressing hard down on your floor button, you willed the elevator to move quicker. After what felt like forever, the box dinged. You dashed down the carpeted hallway as you took your key card out of your pocket. 

Although you barely swiped it, the lock beeped and let you into the room. 

Arthur was not expecting you to all but tackle him as you dive bombed into his arms. The forced knocked the both of you off the bed. The pile of limbs and bodies that you and your best friend were ended up in a pile on the floor. You could not stop laughing as you held him tighter. 

You needed him, especially after these past stressful days. Remembering what he did earlier, you pulled back and started to hit him. His hands raised up and tried to defend against your much smaller hands. 

“You” -hit- “are” -smack- “an” -whack- “ass Arthur Leclerc.” 

“Ouch woman, you hurt me,” he feigns as he puts a hand on his heart. Your attacks died down as you hauled yourself off the floor. You held out a hand, he took it, and you lifted him as well. But the moment he was upright, you pushed him over on the bed. His giggles left his mouth. Instead of getting up like you thought he would, he snuggled more into your bed. 

You might as well join him. Hiking your leg up, you rolled him over some before slotting yourself in the space next to him. He let out a noise of complaint, even though he basically opened you with opened arms. 

“I’m glad you’re here. It’s been very stressful,” your words were muffled as you put your head on his chest. 

He let out a scoff, “Sure. You’ve been playing around in the top of the line simulator.” 

Whack. 

“Would you stop that?” he questioned as he dug his fingers into your sides. Laughter soon tumbled out of your lips before you could stop them. 

“Arthur, stop it!” You tried to force his hands away. But because of your smaller build, he was able to continue the attacks. 

A knock at the door saved your life. You all but rolled off the bed, out of Arthur’s arms, and walked to the door. However, you flipped Arthur off before your hand reached the knob. On the other side of the door, Vito stood with his phone in his hand. He looked up once the door was all the way opened. 

“Hi Vito. What’s up?” you asked with head cocked to the side.

“You two up for some karaoke?” He looked over your shoulder at Arthur, who was still sprawled on the bed. 

“I’m down for it. Hey Arthur!” you yelled, Vito wincing at the volume. 

Arthur’s head popped up. “Yeah?” 

“Karaoke?”

He smirked. “Hell yeah.” 

A couple of hours later, you found yourself with Arthur in a karaoke room. Vito had been blacked out for a while on the couch. 

“COUNTRY ROAD, TAKE ME HOME, TO A PLACE, WHERE I BELONG!” Arthur sang into the very cheap looking microphone. 

You continued, sounding as equally bad, “WEST VIRGINA, MOUTAIN MOMMA, COUNTRY ROAD, TAKE ME HoOOoooOOOmE!” 

The song ended and you and Arthur took a mock bow. 

Arthur chanted, “Next song, next song, next song.” Yeah, he was definitely gone. 

“Since you ruined this earlier, I’m picking this one.” You clicked on a button. The familiar beats from earlier that day filled the small room. Arthur groaned from beside you. “Nuh-uh. This is your faut, and now you have to pay the price.” 

Half-heartedly, Arthur began to sing, “She my best friend in the whole world.” He pointed at you while singing the lyrics. You placed your hands on your chest and mocked a sincere look. He only shoved your head away and continued. 

You decided that standing on the table was a good place to sing the chorus, “AH AH BARBIE YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND” 

Arthur finally got into it, “JUMP INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT AND PUT IT INTO SPEED DRive…” the music was suddenly shut off. 

An angry looking worker walked in and told you to get off the table and to leave for the night. You sheepishly got down, walked over to Vito with Arthur, woke him up, and you three were on your way. 

The two of you looked like kids who had to be taken home after getting in trouble with the principal at the school. However, that wouldn’t stop the snickers and giggles that soon filled the whole car, Vito included. 

You were glad that it wasn’t too late. The next morning would be terrible if you didn’t have a good night’s sleep. 

Arthur made sure to get what time everyone was leaving before retiring to his room for the night. You made sure to post some things on your Instagram story before heading to bed. 

You were surprised you had gotten some sleep, because when you woke up, you couldn’t stop shaking. Not know if it was from excitement or nervousness, you got ready quickly. There was a fruit bowl in your room. For breakfast, you indulged in a banana and an orange. Vito probably arranged for a bigger breakfast to be served at the practice track. 

You met up with Arthur and Vito in the lobby. You nudged him as you walked passed. 

“You ready?” he asked as he followed you to the car that was waiting under the walkway. 

“As I’ll every be.” There was a slight hitch in your tone that told Arthur everything he needed to know. 

After the two of you climbed into the back seats, and Vito in the passenger seat, Arthur put his arm around you. Just the feeling of his company helped to ease the anxiety that was bubbling inside you. It seemed to grow with each corner that got you closer and closer to the track. 

There would be quite a few people there today, more than you would like. But each person was necessary. The track was farther and out of the city. 

You knew that Mitch would have your suit and helmet ready for you once you got there. You would be debrief on the track and how the car should behave. You would be doing a mock race, but it would still be shorter than most races – about 50 laps or so. 

Your goal that you had gone over with Mitch would be to set one of the fastest test laps. Your time to beat was 1 minute and 19.721 seconds. You thumbs-upped the message and said that you’d try your best. 

The car slowed down as it approached the entrance. And before you knew it, you were in your suit and balaclava as Mitch talked with you once more before you started getting in the car. It was one of the newer cars, the RB 17. 

You saw Christian approach and you checked over a few more things. 

“You like the car?” he asked, nodding his head over to the machine behind him. 

“I love it. Can’t wait to see how she drives. Was she driven for any races?” You were curious and wanted to know. 

He smirked. “That is Max’s championship car.” Your hands froze, holding your zipper. You looked up at Christian, eyes wide. You gulped. 

“Aha, very funny.” 

“I’m not joking.” His face was deadpanned. 

“Well, I will try to be careful with it.” He only laughed and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“You just drive the car like you normally do. The sim showed me everything I need to know.” With that, he walked closer to the wall and put a on a set of headphone.

“No pressure Y/n,” you told yourself. Breathing in and out, you put your helmet on. Arthur decided to walk up and clip the two straps for you, something he often did before your races. You both did your little handshake before he patted you shoulder. He was also given some headphones, along with Vito. They were all counting on you. 

You stepped closer to the car. Lifting your leg, you swung it over, then the other. You shimmied down into the car and connected the things that needed to be connected. The men around you started to lower the car and take off the different machinery. You would start the track on medium tires. You were told that after the first half, you could switch to the softs if you think you needed to. 

The final parts of the car were put on and you were handed the steering wheel. You carefully placed the connect parts together as you felt the car turned on. You could feel it almost breathing. It was alive. 

You were able to taxi the car out onto the mock grid. 

“Alright Y/n, radio check,” Mitch’s voice came on through your helmet. 

“If I can have a walk up song for Vegas, I heard a rumor that that was coming back, and if I get introduced, can it be Life is a Highway? Please?” 

“Radio is working,” Mitch responded. 

“Please Mitch?” you prodded. You heard a sigh as you smiled. 

“We can discuss later. I will ask Christian.” You did a small pump of your hands before getting back into the zone. From where you were, you had a good view of the lights. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Speed. I am speed. 

Red. Red. Red. 

Green. 

Your feet hit the pedals and off you went for the “warming up” lap. The track had a good mix of straights and turns to warm up the tires. 

The first few laps after went smoothly. But, you knew it wasn’t time for your flying lap. To keep it fair, the past drivers only had one lap to set a time. 

You pressed the button for the radio, “There seems to be some unbalance on Turn 5. I don’t know if it’s the track or the car.” Your voice sounded rattly. 

“Checking,” Mitch responded back at the “pit lane.” 

Christian piped up from her right, “Max has said that before about that exact turn. It’s uncanny.” 

“Ok kid, it seems like it might be an issue with the track. Try to avoid it by slowing down to go wide, but accelerate going out of the apex.” 

“Roger,” you responded. On the next lap, you did exactly that. And you were pleased to see that it actually worked. 

“Balance of the car is good.” 

“Thank you Y/n.” 

“Can I come in for softs? I want to try the flying lap.” 

“Ok, box for softs.” 

You pulled your car into the pit lane. It wasn’t the fastest pit stop you’ve had, but it really didn’t matter. You did a few laps on the softs. Although you knew the track would eat them up, you also knew that you did your best laps on slightly used softs. 

Christian spoke up again, “She knows that softs run out quickly. She should have done the flying lap on the first one.” 

Now, Arthur talked first, “She does all of her best laps on slightly used softs. It’s how she’s won so many races. Because Y/n knows her tires better than anyone.” Christian hummed as he watched your dot go around the animated track. 

The radio beeped as a message came from your car, “I’m gonna go for it. Starting the flying lap.” 

Mitch responded, “Copy.” The team waited with baited breath and you seemed to glide around the turns. 

You were truly one with whatever car you drove. 

The clocked seemed to tick in slow motion as you finally came to the last straight. Once you passed the line, you slowed down just a bit. 

“Ok Mitch, how did I do?” you asked. 

She breathed before responding, “One minute, nineteen point 7 seconds. Congratulations kid, you have broken our current record. Your cheers could be heard over the radio. They mixed with the team’s own cheering as well. You were just .021 seconds faster than whoever held the previous record. And you did it in a two, almost, three year old car. 

“Who used to hold the position?” 

This time, Christian’s voice came on over the radio, “It was Max, kid.” 

You let out a laugh of disbelief, before realizing that Christian was on the radio. 

“Christian, can my walk up song for Vegas be Life is a Highway. Please.” You waited for his answer. 

“Sure kid.” 

“Yes! Best day ever! Can I got another lap? I want to put this baby into speed drive. Vito! Arthur!”

“On it kid.” 

“Got it Y/n!” 

You guessed one of them held their phones to the radio. This time you would hear the entire song. You knew it. You shimmied back down into the seat and floored the throttle. 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @digitalizeduniqueness @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko

[itsalmostavengers]

Steve quietly helping a “finally at the end of his wick&burnt out” Tony out of his suit and into bed

The button was sticking to his fingers. It had to be. There was no other reason as to why the hell this was taking so long.

Tony looked down in confusion, observing his index and thumb as they battled to wrangle the slick white button out of its buttonhole. It wasn't going very well from the looks of it, which was strange, because he could've sworn he started to work at them almost as soon as he'd stepped through the door. That meant he'd been at it for at least 20 seconds now. This was not something that Tony could say he usually struggled with.

He watched his own fingers as they fiddled desperately at the contraption for a few more moments before, finally giving up and falling dejectedly onto the countertop. He could give that another go later, he figured. For now...

Well. Fuck. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Blinking slowly, Tony attempted to orientate himself. He knew he was in the kitchen at the tower. He knew it was... well, Tony didn't quite know what time it was because the meeting with the Secretary of Defence had run over, but it was dark now. 11, maybe? He knew that there was probably something else he needed to get done before he could call it a night. His to-do list had only been growing since he started it at the beginning of the week, and they weren't the kinds of things you could put off until the next day. They were the kinds of things that, if left too long, could get people killed.

Right. Okay. He needed a refuel. A bagel, maybe. And a coffee. And then he would... yeah. The kit for Natasha. Top priority. She was heading out to Alaska tomorrow and her old suit had been torn to shreds in the debacle last Tuesday. So bagel, coffee, workshop. Bagel, coffee, workshop. Bagel-

"Could I suggest, sir, that you substitute your coffee and workshop plans for bed instead? It has been two days since you last achieved REM sleep."

Tony was quiet for a moment. He stared at the wall, and then glanced up to the ceiling slowly, a frown folding into his forehead.

"Did you just read my mind?" He asked JARVIS.

"No sir. I listened."

"Oh. I was speaking?"

"Indeed sir."

"Ah."

See, this was the slight problem that came with spending a week hopping straight from one obligation into another. He started to lose track of himself a little. The overuse of caffeine probably didn't help either. But it was that or fall behind, and he quite simply didn't have time to fall behind. At this point, he'd never catch back up again. He had to do more. Keep going.

So he chose to ignore JARVIS's advice, and instead reached a hand into the pack of bagels on the side. His mind whirred disjointedly as it tried to work through the current set of problems plaguing Stark Industries. The biggest issue was tied into the aforementioned meeting he'd just had with the Defence Secretary. As a general rule, Tony Stark and military personnel did not get on too well. They'd never gotten out of the sulk they fell into with him after his whole 'no more weapons' epiphany, which was just fine by Tony. They talked a lot of shit about him behind closed doors and, occasionally, in public meetings, but they were normally content to leave it at that.

Except now they'd gone ahead and appointed this new guy into one of the top brass roles, and his sole mission seemed to be wrangling Stark Industries back into the weapons business. By any means necessary.

Tony would come out victorious in this stupid little power play, obviously. This wasn't the first time a government official had used thinly-veiled threats and blackmail against him. It was, however, the first time the pressure had come right from the top of the chain. And it implied there was a wider cultural change in the ranks of the US Military, which meant Tony, The Avengers and Stark Industries were all going to have to tread more delicately if they wanted to weather the storm.

He sighed, gaze losing its focus for a few moments. In front of him, the toaster ticked away. The smell began to permeate the air. Tony realised he wasn't even sure he was hungry. He had been, a few hours ago, but the sensation had since faded when it realised it wasn't being listened to. Now he just felt hollow. Like someone had scooped out his brains with a melon baller. He realised he was swaying back and forth on his feet - a slow, repeated motion that was starting to make him feel dizzy. He told himself to be still.

The bagel popped out of the toaster, and it was only then that Tony remembered there were extra steps to this process. Butter. And a knife. He needed both. Hopefully his hands would be able to handle this one.

Turning on his heel, he headed over to the fridge, because he was 90% sure that was where they kept the butter these days - but as his hips swivelled to the left, he felt himself bump against something that had not previously been in the kitchen. It was firm, but soft. Warm. It smelled familiar.

Tony was staring in mild surprise at the chest in front of him, and it took a moment before he realised that that wasn't where you were supposed to look when you bumped into people. And Steve was a stickler when it came to being polite, so he promptly lifted his gaze.

"Hi," he told Steve. This, he thought, was an appropriate thing to say - not too much, not nothing at all, just right. "I'm making a bagel."

Steve, however, didn't seem to care much about the bagel. He didn't even look at it when Tony gestured over to it, which was unusual, because Steve was a very food-oriented man. Instead, Steve was staring down at Tony, a strange kind of intensity in his eyes. They'd been arguing earlier this morning. God, he hoped Steve wasn't coming back to pick up where they'd left off.

Then Steve did something strange. He lifted his hands. Curled them gently around the place where Tony's shoulders met his biceps: soft at first, but then adding just a touch of pressure, enough that Tony's brain noticed it and perked up, flared back into life just a little. The sensation of it kicked off a chain reaction. He realised his thumb hurt, and he needed to pee, and that he'd somehow forgotten to turn on the light as he'd been walking through the kitchen because it was dark as shit and he could actually barely see the other man an inch away from him.

"Tony," Steve's voice was calm, firm, and left absolutely no room for argument. "You can stop now."

Tony didn't respond, too busy trying to process that in his head. It didn't sound right - he knew there was a list, he did, and it was his job to do it and he'd been working at it for the last five days and there wasn't time to stop, there just wasn't. That was what he'd been telling himself, over and over and over. But then, if that was true, it would mean that Steve was wrong. Steve was rarely wrong.

"You can stop," Steve said again. "It's okay to stop."

Was it really?

"Natasha needs--"

"She will be fine. You've created dozens of variants of that uniform for her. Her wardrobe is literally full of protective gear." Steve gave him another gentle squeeze, and it felt good, it felt really good for Steve to touch him. It'd been days since they'd touched. Tony had just been so busy, and then when they had seen eachother they'd been fighting about the fucking portal debacle from Tuesday and now, wow, it felt so good to be touched. The care, the love, it seemed to seep out from Steve's fingers. He'd not even realised he'd been in fight or flight mode all day until he was reminded, right now, of how it felt to be safe.

"I shouldn't," Tony's voice was quiet. He shook his head.

Steve just nodded his. "Yes you should. Come on sweetheart. You know you need to rest. You're doing no-one any favours by running around half-delirious."

"I'm not half delirious."

"JARVIS told me you couldn't even undress yourself. And you're bleeding all over our floor, by the way." Steve's head nodded downward, and Tony looked to see that yeah, Steve was actually right. There was a smattering of small, delicate crimson drops staining their cream tiles.

Tony frowned, recalling the vague memory of his thumb hurting. He glanced down, and spotted the nail that he'd accidentally removed about 20% of. It was a bad habit. Howard had absolutely fucking hated his nail biting - he used to rip Tony's hand straight out of his mouth if ever he got caught in the act, often taking the rest of the nail he'd had his teeth clamped around with it.

"Oh," was all Tony could say.

Without changing a shade, Steve moved again, hand slipping around Tony's and lifting it. He efficiently slotted Tony's thumb into his mouth, sucking off the blood, and then leaned sideways, delving into the drawer where they kept (amongst a plethora of other random assorted crap) the band-aids. He wound it around Tony's thumb, taking extra care to ensure that the raw skin of his cuticle was padded by the gauze and didn't touch the adhesive. When that was done, he shifted his attention to Tony's dress shirt, popping open the first few with frustrating ease. They'd definitely not been playing ball when it'd been Tony trying to make them open.

"It's time to call it a night," Steve told him. Now his hand was on Tony's jaw. His thumb was rubbing a little circle just in front of Tony's ear, like a massage, and God it felt so good that in that moment Tony lost sight of everything else. The work, the sting of pain, the frantic cacophony of 'do more, do more, do more' that had been looping uncontrollably in his head. The one thing that stood between Tony Stark and oblivion was Steve Rogers' right thumb, and man, it was fucking holding up.

Then, slowly, Steve pulled him into his arms. With one hand still pressing into the side of Tony's, the other circled around the his shoulders. They drew him into the impossible feeling of safety that came with being immersed in Steve's hug, and that was it. That was just it.

Tony sagged. He felt Steve's mouth press a gentle kiss against the top of his head. He was so, so, so fucking tired.

"Wanna go to bed?" Steve asked softly.

Tony nodded.

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

ft. the greatest meme I ever created

09.04.24 - I hate when I have a Monday off because it throws my judgement of time all out of whack. I have ADHD the time blindness kills me on a regular basis; it just gets worse when there's a holiday I forgot about and therefore didn't expect. I spent the entirety of yesterday thinking it was Monday, and a good chunk of Monday thinking it was Sunday.

Work - So that 946 page motion I was set to bind yesterday is so big because the lawyer for the plaintiff in the case has seven (7) exhibits that are just the depositions taken in the case reproduced in their entirety. Each depo is like 100+ pages. Rather than having the relevant pages extracted the way SJC had me do for her related motion, which is why hers came in at under 500 pages. I emailed her about this yesterday, asking if she wanted me to change up how I bound the thing, and she replies today asked essentially "[w]hy would he do that?" to which I answered "[h]e probably doesn't have a me to help him with that." So tomorrow, when I'm back in the office, I get to finish that binding. I'm remote today so I get a bit of a break

Background Noise - Okay well I'm remote working so I will be watching the DVR; in particular, there's a Ninja Warrior, a couple of Jeopardy episodes I want to watch, and for the last week my hunny is home I'm going to try and get off some more episodes of Bob's Burgers.

I still want to do YT, and I have a plan for it since a lot of my Watch Later list consists of two things: podcasts, and Mr. Beast drama. At least I can put certain videos on, turn the sound off, and add captions to like...check in on while I watch the aforementioned DVR stuff.

I did 11 videos yesterday, the majority of which were over 30 minutes; this number also contains two extra long videos: one which was over 2 hrs and one which was over an hr and a half.

Study - OKAY so yesterday I should have read news articles instead of doing case law, because it was actually Tuesday and not Monday; that means today should be 'visual study' day but I have no idea how that's going to work out today.

Now, because I was so busy printing and hole-punching yesterday, I didn't actually do case law like I usually would, and instead read about ten random articles I stumbled on so like. I accidentally did the study I was supposed to do instead of what I set out to do lol.

Extras - Okay it is Wednesday, so I have to clean out the catbox and vacuum; I'm also going to spend some time doing the Kitchen Project - the big reorganization and deep clean of that particular room. It is takeout day, so I won't have to worry about making sure I have counter space to cook; more Shinkenger while I eat and then Idk because hunny and I are running out of our current silly shows. Wrote a little bit today; don't know if I'll do more because I think I might do something else for my spiritual self-care today.

[vividentropy]

Entry #2

The Entries Catalog | Tuesday, July 9, 2024

12:34PM

I’m finally awake enough to start writing.

Internet is still wonky. Wifi isn’t working (I can connect but there’s nothing). This makes YouTube load slow, but at least I have something to listen to. Power stood on all night. My right eye still itches. Can’t seem to get comfortable.

I think today I will start packing my stuff for next week. My list is down somewhere in the mess of my room. To be honest, it shouldn’t take too long. I’m only going to be there for several days, so I don’t have to bring much. Maybe in the process I’ll go tidy up this room a bit. I messed it up trying to find one of my favorite band tees.

Sidenote, I still can’t believe it’s Tuesday. It feels like a Sunday. I miss my boyfriend.

2:11 PM

We’ve had Wifi back for about an hour now. Just ate my mom’s hamburger. Coffee is right beside me.

No lie, I feel relief having YouTube on. It’s nice having something playing on the background. It’s like my own personal soundtrack. I’m not left alone with my thoughts. I could later today put my first entry on queue. But first I need to throw my bag together. That’s my priority. Second is everything else – make a queue on my site, tidy this room, play FFXIV Online.

I just remembered that my parents went to Kohl’s. I wish I went with them because I gotta pick up something there. I have an order waiting for me. But they also handed me Kohl’s Cash, which is active the second to last day I have to pick up my order. And I was thinking about grabbing socks, so I’ll take advantage of that. For some reason, I’ve become picky on what socks I like. There’s no good reason other than they feel comfortable with my shoes.

9:01 PM

Of course, the internet goes out again.

It went out about ten, fifteen minutes ago. I was enjoying my time listening to YouTube, planning to put my first entry up in my queue. But of course, I didn’t think ahead or anything. All I got done in my time with the internet is packing my stuff for my trip to see my boyfriend next week. I need to make a list of things that I need to get. For sure, deodorant. Probably wipes too because I depend on those. Can’t spend too much money because I want to save some for the trip. I’ll need to make a bigger list tomorrow morning, since I’m going out with my sis to grab stuff. Either Walmart or Target. Probably the latter since it’s close to Kohl’s, which is where my pickup is. I also need to figure out a crossbody purse to bring, since I don’t think my mom wants me to use my fanny pack.

But I love my fanny pack, so I’m most likely going to bring it. I’ve devolved from crossbody purses to my pockets. But when I’m traveling, I do like to have my important shit close by me.

I probably should mention that my boyfriend gave me the fanny pack I currently use. It’s perfect. Fits everything I need with room for a few more things.

I guess for now, I’m going to wind down. Wash my face, brush my teeth, try to cool down. If I have time, maybe I’ll get creative with something.

Until next time,

Vivid Entropy

[invisiblerambler]

Unfortunately for all of you this is the last place on the internet I let myself be truly earnest and honest. Mostly because I do still treat this website like my journal because as far as I'm concerned this is mostly just for me.

ANYWAYS

Tomorrow marks my first month in LA and jesus christ what a month it has been. I don't even know how to begin to describe what I'm feeling right now because frankly it's everything and in a way nothing because I can't even pick out one emotion to have.

First of all, I didn't expect to get here. Yes, there was a point where LA felt inevitable, but that was only incredibly recently. Someone I met in 2018 via Al Gore's internet lives in LA so we got to meet up for the first time. We went to a bucket list event on Tuesday (more on that later) and she reminded me that when I met her, I didn't even think LA was going to happen. So it was okay, normal and probably even healthy to soak in the accomplishment of even making it this far.

As usual, she is right. There is a huge part of me that is trying to not let the awe of my current situation wear off. I imagined living in LA about as long as I can remember. It was the five year plan post graduating from college (pre-pandemic) and I did make it out here less than five years after graduating from undergrad.

It is and I hope will never be lost on me how unlikely all of this was. Based on my life circumstances, my childhood and about a million other things, this outcome of being in LA pursuing my lifelong dream of working in entertainment was literally anything but inevitable.

I told my therapist about a month before I left Pittsburgh that none of this was by accident. She agreed with what I said and told me that I had worked very hard to get where I was. I have a tendency to let outward gratitude overwhelm any effort I may have put into the process.

But frankly, I did work hard and honestly survived for a long time to get to this point. And I didn't think it would happen. I assumed that a mid-sized city probably in the Midwest working a job I tolerated was all I was going to get.

So I feel lucky and grateful and am also aware of the fact I didn't get here alone, but I also didn't get here without me. There are a lot of people in my life that didn't see this as inevitable but definitely saw it in my future, much more clearly than I did.

It's probably borderline delusions of grandeur but everything else I want feels so attainable with everything I survived the first 20 to 25ish years of my life. It could easily be naivete, but for now I'll let it carry me some of the way towards what I want.

While it's only been a month, I think the biggest lesson I've already learned is that in a lot of ways the hard part is over. I have no plans to take my foot off of the accelerator of my ambitions, but I am realizing it's okay to not have it all figured out. Tiktok by a mixture of algorithm and coincidence has sent me a lot of videos about not having to figure out the how of the universe, just the what and the why. Thankfully, while I am less clear than ever about the how, the why most of all feels in stark relief.

If you've read this far I might as well reward you with some highlights of my experience in LA so far, I want to preface by saying this is crazy atypical, but I want to document it for my posterity.

A noncomplete list of cool shit I've done this month

Documentary for your consideration event

Disney panel of music directors/composers of various TV fiction and documentary series and features

A tour of Disney Imagineering in Glendale

AND last but to me not least,

ATTENDING THE RED CARPET FOR THE SEASON 3 PREMIERE OF THE BEAR

The red carpet thing was hardly as glamorous as it sounds and open to the general public, but it is a night I will never never forget.

Like I am saying ad nauseam, I am so lucky and so grateful, and the way that these opportunities keep falling into place feels like beautiful confirmation from the universe that everything I want is in reach.

Unfortunately because of the way my brain works, there is a part of me that won't shut up about the fact that it can't always be like this, and I'm just setting myself up for disappointment and failure.

I am trying to keep that as quiet as I can. I suffered for a long time to even have half of what I am able to have now. Most things on that list were things I hardly even dreamed of, and yet I'm terrified of them being taken away.

The way everyone else views my success as inevitable terrifies me. I was and in many ways still convinced that without the right steps in the right order, I will never achieve the things I want.

Full well knowing that every single person in every facet of this industry takes a different path to the things they want, so why would I be an exception.

Everything feels more within reach than it ever has, meeting my heroes in professional contexts, working with people whose work I have always admired, and yet the proximity makes it feel all the more fleeting. That many years of pure survival is a hard programming language to rewrite.

The trajectory I am on is in someways (almost all ways) terrifying even to me. I am getting a crash course in learning how to internalize success and trying not to self-sabotage in the process.

Moving here in a particular way has felt as fundamental as learning to walk again. I felt immediately at home here in a particular way, but I am learning to adapt myself to the way I feel here.

Getting here at once felt completely natural and like the most jarring thing I have ever done, because it was and it is, but I'm learning how to let things be easy. The ways in which the universe can be kind because sometimes you have suffered enough. My relationship with the metaphysical is a fluctuating one, but something that I hold close to me is the idea that things get easier when you're on the right path. Doors open to you, and resistance falls away. Nothing, nothing has ever felt like that quite the way moving to LA has. There is so much more to do here, in almost every direction imaginable, but I am ready and willing to receive it all.

[jodilin65]

SATURDAY, MAY 21, 1988 I’ve come to have quite a crush on singer Gloria Estefan.

I got my hair extensions. It looks good so long as I style it to hide where my own hair is. It cost $140. Ma hung up the phone on me when I told her.

Claire and Tammy, the girls who did my hair extensions, said if I want another row to thicken it up, it would cost $200, so I’m avoiding that by doing all kinds of braids and tails with it. Love it so far.

I quit La Baron cuz I got so sick of it. I don’t know if my heart was really truly ever in it. Mom and I are gonna check into getting me back into school for just the manicuring, rather than the whole hairdressing course since they fucked up my financial aid application anyway.

Sasha has been limping quite badly the last two days and Ma said to ask Nervous if he’d take me to the vet with her, but I’ve had enough of that jackasshole.

MONDAY, MAY 9, 1988 I am here on my lunch break with some very interesting news. First of all, Nissan proved to be the jerk I began to suspect she was and she is history.

Last Friday in school I accidentally ended up singing and they loved it and there was this new girl Elliot who said she knew this guy who had a band and knows the business really well. I had my doubts as I’ve heard this before but she called me and I spoke to the guy. His name is Jimmy. Of course, I told him up front I’m gay and I don’t get along with males and he said he doesn’t mix business with pleasure. Who knows for sure? They all say that. I just don’t want to be with males or travel with them but this guy sounds as serious as I am and like he knows what he’s talking about but I’ve learned never to trust or listen to a male. Especially a black one. I’ll have to see for myself but I’m sure if I sing with this band, either he or someone in the band will try to hit me for sex. I’ll kill them. No way am I gonna get into a situation I can’t get out of. It scares me to have to put my trust in someone. If this follows the usual pattern in my life, then he’ll prove to be a crock and I’ll know something’s punishing me. But this really sounds positive. He and Ellie are supposed to come to my place today or tomorrow.

FRIDAY, MAY 6, 1988 Last Saturday went great. Nissan and I got to know each other a lot better. Kevin was impressed although I saw her Tuesday and it was the pits. I fucked up bad and discovered she’d really never want me. I wrote a list of 30 encouraging hints Nissan gave me which I thought were signs of her being interested in me and I showed them to her like a fool. Guess what? She stole them! Must’ve been when I went to the back of the bus. And come to find out all those things weren’t true. It wasn’t until after I got off the bus that I realized she took them. I had asked her if she was going to tell her girlfriend Julie and she said no, but why else would she take them? Obviously to show Julie. She hates me. I know it and I’m petrified about getting on the bus tomorrow. She probably won’t even let me on! And if she does, what if Julie’s there? What if she lies or denies it? She could never want me yet Emily, Nellie and Philip said maybe she took them for herself because she was flattered or so I wouldn’t tell Julie. No way! She wouldn’t take them for her own reading pleasures. I never stood a chance with her and I never will. Even she told me, “I’m spoken for and I’m used to people liking me.” I’m afraid to get on the bus tomorrow, but if I do, I will confront her and ask her what’s going on.

[muerteporfavor]

Hola!

It's been a bit again. I've been busy. (Not too busy for language study- although I do want to get a better structure for that soon.)

Today won't be a listing day. As it is pretty late where I am currently. But I wanted to write up an update about my life and this little Muerte Por Favor mission.

On Sunday of this week I made a decision that I would section off one day of the week to clean up one aspect of my space that I had been neglecting.

Monday: washing blankets. to be honest I had not washed my blankets for probably almost a year if not a little more. (granted I did switch out my comforter and one of my throw blankets during that time, but i didn't wash them. I just put on new blankets to replace them and moved on) Which is kinda gross but I have clinical depression so I get a pass.

Tuesday: (today!) I set up the mission to dust my room which I also have not done in about a year give or take. But I did it!! It took me like 4 hours because I also had to clean out my desk, reorganize my bookshelf, and hang some posters. But I did it.

Both times I did the thing even though I really did not want to. I wanted to curl up and not move or do anything. But I did the thing. And still had plenty of time to do fun things or work on other projects. I also called my dentist (got an appointment for tomorrow yay!) and I called a business about my application (to receive no response. Not so yay).

But I did the things and I'm proud of myself. I stuck to my goals and I followed through for me. The only point of this silly little thing. I didn't do the tasks when I intended to. I wanted to do them in the morning but alas I ended up doing them mid afternoon both times. Which I'm going to say is okay. Because they still got done.

Tomorrow I have to do laundry (which I'm actually going to have to force myself to get up early to do because I have dentist at noon so it has to get done before then).

Then Thursday I have to buy new jeans (I have none that are workplace appropriate- prior I had just been wearing leggings at my old job cause they allowed it but few other jobs seem to. So I'd like to get ahead of that) and clean out my car.

And then Friday is celebration for a long week of Getting My Shit Together. (I'm thinking I might go try out a cute coffee place that I've been meaning to for months now.)

I started this because I'm not sure what I want to do with my life right now. And I decided to completely reset my life in terms of cleanliness. Just to have something concrete to focus on in the meantime. I'm thinking I might go back to school but nothing is set in stone at the moment as I'm still trying to work on my commitment - follow through ratio.

So far I think its going well!!

That's all for now.

Its Muerteporfavor <3

[fractallogic]

Now TOMORROW. We are being very intentional with the order we’re doing everything in.

We’re giving ourselves time to dawdle and get out of bed (but earlier than today)

We’re going to do the big anxiety things (what if I fuck up this paperwork. I am so behind on these contracts) EARLY, first thing in the day. The once those are done, immediately we’re taking a brain break for a solid two hours, minimum. (Also I did a bonus task today and put CLEAN SHEETS!! on the bed while I was already sweaty and tired from vacuuming! Which is great because the sheets can go in with the socks and underwear I didn’t fit into the laundry today, instead of me doing like a quarter load of laundry just so I have more clean socks for the week)

Then after the walk, we’re going to get inspired by reading this writing book and then spend just 30 min putting together however much of an outline we can put together for this section of the grant due on Tuesday for the class, and then we’re going to adjust and post the followup experiment

Once that’s done, it’s time for a reward dinner at my favorite Vietnamese place up the street because I will have done all essential tasks in the house for the weekend!! for the first time in a very long time!!

And not on the list because it’s not a must do tomorrow, but it’s definitely a please do soon, is to get Artemis a new cat bed, because her current one is. it’s so gross I don’t even want to put it in the washing machine. Our best baby cat deserves a nice clean bed. Honestly I should probably get her one of those closer storage boxes I have upstairs and a bunch of hand towels, because she seems to love napping in that box in the closet upstairs… but cmon, that’s not a bed

[nancypullen]

Fifty Shades of White

It’s official, I’ve submitted my color to the cabinet painter and there’s no take backs.  On Saturday the mister and I drove into Easton to the Benjamin Moore paint store to study all of the shades of off-white.  As I lined up paint chip cards and looked at them under different lighting, walked them over to the windows, then back to the shadiest corner, Mickey asked, “Can you narrow it down to four?” After another dozen chip cards and some agonizing comparisons, I did. We headed home with sample pots of Cream Linen, Feather Down, Winter Wheat, and Navajo White, stopping at Walmart to pick up some project board in the school supplies section.  I cut up that board and painted sections with each color, labeling them on the back. Then the fun started. I moved them all over the kitchen, trying all four colors in different lighting. Cream Linen was the first to be eliminated.

Different times of day, against the wall color and the floor color (I ignored those ugly countertops because they’re being replaced_ I’d shuffle them and see if I picked the same color each time.  My final choice is the middle color in that last photo - Winter Wheat.  It does have a hint of peach in the undertone, but with the green(ish) walls it works.  It’s the creamiest and that’s what I wanted.

The work starts on February 5th and I. Can’t. Wait.  I have a dream that on the first anniversary of our arrival (May 6th) all of the major stuff will be done. After the cabinets are painted that just leaves granite and hardware.  The ugly carpet on the stars will just have to wait.  If that happens, meet me back here in May for a video tour.  I wish I’d done a “before” video. I can probably find the real estate listing photos.   Anywayyyy, that’s the color and soon the kitchen will be well on its way to being PRETTY.  I received a message that said the cabinets were find and I shouldn’t spend the money to paint them.  I’d like to invite that person to come have a look.  They’re not in great shape and I don’t like the color.

NOPE, these girls need some help.  Just putting a little makeup on them. Speaking of makeup, Sephora sends me fabulous samples all the time. I love it. I have drawers full of samples.  Today I had some morning errands to run so I put my face on and popped a baseball cap on bed hair. I’d pulled a sample lip gloss out of a drawer because I was in the mood to try something new.  I ended up running around town looking like Id just finished a two piece and a biscuit from KFC.  I mean, I like a little gloss, but this is crazy. It’s a Fenty product, I don’t remember the shade, but I think it’s meant for someone younger than me.  I go out looking a little wonky all the time though, so what?  I’m going to try to make it a trend.  We’ll call it Grancy Chic.  Comfy shoes, bad hair, questionable makeup, a bra that has given up - what’s not to love?

Ye gads. Yep, those lips were a mistake, but at least I’m certain of my cabinet color - and that’s a lot more permanent, right? I’ve got laundry chugging, after I toss that load in the dryer and start a load of jeans in the washer I’m going to sit down at my desk.  There are new ideas for jewelry banging around in my head and I also have some cards to make.  I’ve got a dear friend who will need a cheerful get well card and Valentine’s Day is coming. Fun!  Time to turn on a murder podcast and get creative. Sounds like a perfect Tuesday afternoon. I hope that your Tuesday is delightful.  Do at least one nice thing for yourself today, whether it’s a walk in the sunshine or snuggling under a blanket if your weather is gloomy.  If all else fails, buy a new nail polish - that always works. If you’re feeling the winter blahs, check the calendar.  It’s just 55 days until spring!  I’m a winter lover, still crossing my fingers for snow, but I understand those who are longing for the next season. It’s just around the corner.

I’m off to play with clay. See ya’ tomorrow. Stay safe, stay well, stay hopeful.

Nancy

[the-firebird69]

Had a huge day that was huge. They went after the warlock themselves. Little dirt bags and they're not worth anything. So we went after them too. By the end of the night before morning we should have cleared out most of them. And we could draw the rest out we should he said it's pretty smart is there going to be desperate and angry and no matter what so we're going to work on that. Right now John Raymond Lord this is the final phases of his life and is responsible for the destruction of his entire race the morlock and he's on trial while hes gallivanting they say. Some of them are killing him anyways and that would be Mary fulls Brad German bja Jenna and many more. And he is dying quite often from their hits. They're all so hate squads all over the place going after trumpsters for what he's been doing to them and their families. Covid-19 for example probably killed half the trumpsters over the years and they're up now and out the door and thier going after him. Well the characters of his is The Big Lebowski and he's out in clearing talking about covid and that's what it means it means you're dead you're in a meadow. And the guy is stupid it doesn't get it. Pple will hate that man hate him. They clearly do not want him here he keeps coming back with some sort of Love struck homo. And our son lays into him and destroys half his stupid cadre every time. He is a he is a loser that guy he's a loser doesn't get it at this time he's not coming back and he won't have anybody here to pull him back or to allow him in they'll all be dead because of him. Right now getting rid of them all all of the trumpsters every single one of them in Florida. By the end of tonight I won't be any here were going to destroy you trying to get here he's a freaking jerk and a loser and a f** and it's not even human hes so stupid.

Today is cesario and it's the second night of it coming up and they move the money today and tonight it's over. The money goes up to Utah today and we'll sit there and tomorrow will fly to Vegas and then early in the morning Tuesday to Alabama and then to New Orleans then to Cuba on Tuesday.

While at Guantanamo Bay, it is learned here what Trump has been doing and I made a list before he said and really it will be seen much more clearly and there is a list I developed before and people were shocked that could reiterated a little and add to it

-Trump has been committing grand larceny on your property and stealing things a lot of things and principality mostly laptop computers and other computers

-Trump has been taking items from your houses for quite a while he has been breaking in and taking valuables he has not broken into the apartment but he tries to all the time he's a thief

-Trump has been taking large amounts of gold and diamonds from you for ages and stashing them in Florida from all over the world. He has killed tons of your men and women who are guarding them and they were people of rank, and exposed just an untold number of them to being captured. He is the one in Mexico putting them in the wall and preserving their brain it's not very good at but it works because they removed rather quickly and because he drains some blood out some of them but he's a pig uses other bodies to question people and they're not really with it when he does and usually die before passing valuable information

-is massive pig but he's a terrorist and you'll find when he's in Guantanamo that he is responsible for every single terrorist act that you've ever heard of it's been terrorizing you and torturing you and horrifying you and bother you and pestering you Non-Stop

-you're going to find these emptied out your piggy banks your stashes and cash is here and your bank accounts many many times if he's a pretty piece of s*** and does it on everybody.

-and you're going to find out that all of it's true and it is conjuring a whole bunch of terrorists I've been running around kidnapping your kids torturing and killing them for ages and the sponsored and grew terrorist groups in the Middle East non-stop over the past 20 years and they hated George senior when he was doing let's have threatening to kill him and he said what for and they wouldn't tell him you found out one day and I found it on his doorstep don't have any kids tell you anything else so get rid of you. And Trump heard by the sunset and said we'll get you and a sense it will get you now and rip your fingers off myself little b**** well I have power in this little s*** that needs to go down so he grabbed them and that's something and ripped his fingers off he never forgot it and he also does not have his fingers so they used to have and all brand new and stupid that's what it means

-he uses things like that for revenge. But we kill him anyways and you people are slow and in the way sometimes and get killed a lot or to try to go just intercept him. Well you said to Trump just now is don't come near me or will kill you. And it's too bad if you're stupid because we're going to kill you. And then you'll try cuz we're going to kill you anyways. The stupid s*** is trying and just fell over in his apartment. Just have a good memory so you can't remember us grabbing him and ripping his fingers off and thumbs soon we should gravity and ripped all his toes off. Chop his hands off for thievery.

-his own wife hates him and can't wait till he's dead and he won't stop pestering her at all he won't leave our son alone for the price of tea in China and we have taken almost every single business he has he's a loser and does things to people as a matter of what he wants to do in life so we're killing all his men and women and children and clones and showing them and he doesn't care he's a shit head. I'm pulling his men in and taking his stuff in by the huge container ship every few minutes in Florida gigantic loads of his stashes and cashes white gold yellow gold rubies diamonds and gems and the mountains of them huge piles of jewelry you would have thought that we're in China it's incredible how much stuff there is and the massive massive piles of skeletons in caverns here are from Trump he's a huge huge killer for just about anything you have you have to understand it and you start to understand it and when he goes there to Guantanamo bay you see with his men are up to and you pull them out of Cuba as they arrived and interrogate them and that's how you learn mostly

Her son can't stand you because grinding his teeth when he sees you has to hit you you're told not to be here it says it right in your ear and just stand there like some sort of retarded idiot trying to be obscure and he's telling you to get the f*** out of your dead and we kill you and walk your body out and you're so stupid you can't figure it out we get rid of every single one of your idiots here to move you out every time and that's what we do this barbaric but you don't even know most of the time you're so damn dumb

These are just a few of the things they're going to learn about you John remillard you f****** pregnant cow it is caverns here full of thousands of trillions of bodies, it's all riding and it's rotted in the aquifer is poisoned. You're attacking your son and his mom with the water and you get sick yourself and keep drinking it and you forgot and your brain with a Swiss cheese and we used against you because you were attacking our son and started killing your people off you figured out pretty quick ness with terrorism and we killed s******* of them. Tommy F kept you away from the shadow dome and they were not rigged that much by comparison and now they're safe because of your actions yeah that's right you are the one who caused it and Aaron miank. But we don't want to explain it it's kind of simple though you were scared out by tommy f. He was put there because it was aggressive military style and we had control over huge areas down there cuz he was so verbose and you wanted that wanted us to make sure the place didn't blow up the only problem was Tommy F prevented you from having access to your precious shadow which may hv actually helped you but you ruined it. Now you're on your last days and you're sitting and threatening the one boy who's an inventer, thinking it's going to save you. And your Petty pesky little s***. But you listed on the terrorist list as number one

Thor Freya

You give up all that wealth and power sit around with you a piece of s*** like Garth is forced to me and he hates you and he should

Hera

What is jerk off you are you're lame too. But holy s*** we didn't see how angry he is about that he's out there wasting all your time and energy no you say you wasted his they could have held that stuff with bja and other instead you're wastoid. I'm getting revenge you're taking my pennies making so I couldn't advance in life, obstructed me in every job and holding my savings illegally now I have your investments your bank accounts about 50% of your personal accounts we hold all of your business accounts which is more money than anybody could ever dream of having and we fired you from 100 Fortune 500 companies because we are going and they're the top 100 and you're going to be fired from the rest because you're just wasting time in the boardroom when you're an idiot and show up for a few minutes and you blab and just make no sense I know I can tell what you said so they fire you. And really we're killing all your people and then business and surrounding and you're the one who's initializing it. We've taken all your stashes and caches in every area that's cleared out and from every business that we bought or took. And we took some legitimately it's just that you're an idiot most of them going to court and we won and you were found guilty of stealing from me and mine and nobody wants you around and they didn't know how many businesses it was but by now it's too late. It's strange too it's still question for a lot of people and even myself I would trade all that for nothing now you don't have power over people especially us and you're not going to come back after Guantanamo of and then you're going to be dead. So getting revenge on you you ruined my reputation now yours is gone you're known as a terrorist you're not going to be a president here or anywhere you're being pulled out of all your positions you're known as someone who killed your entire people morlock your group they've got you in trial your shunned everywhere you go by them. I'm an inventor that others need in your realm and you don't recognize it so you're just dying. And the cleanest best revenge that I've ever seen is you being dead for harassing me it's hands-free m*********** I don't have to do anything and you be dead and you just sit here having me put an effort into it and that's even better people can see you doing it and they tell you and I tell you it's going the other way buddy every time you do that you get killed

Zues Hera

That's what her son has to say about it because it's absolutely true and when you go there to Guantanamo Bay they're going to learn enough not to let any of you survive and the information you give up about bja and bG and others gets them killed personally gets them killed they send assassins after them all the time.

And the peace to resistance that they learn the best thing that they learn that we could figure out that they learned was it you are the one who's sitting here making a son do things that are for what they want you're the one who they have to get rid of and it saves him and our people and he's part of their program and you're out and he's going to make it because of you talking

Thor Freya again

I'm going to use this as an example of things that some people don't pay attention to when they're going out and they really should but they're too far gone it's a sign that they need to die immediately and this guy needs to die right now. Is a dead person if I've ever seen one I'm going to apply ourselves now to get them out of here

Olympus

[salazarslytherin]

full (r.l x y/n)

requested: yes! [hi i got a request! can u write a smut where remus has a breeding kink and he’s scared that it’ll freak the reader out but she’s actually rlly into it n he just cums a lot into her (this is probably the spiciest thing i’ve ever typed in my life 💀💀)] send in your own request here!

🃛 masterlist!

cw/tw: tiny bit of angst at the beginning, insecurities?, breeding!kink, slight degradation, fem!reader, handjob, fingering etc. just SMUT.

word count: 2.3k

a/n: i hope you like it y'all! if you do, pls do reblog/follow!! x

☯︎ join tag list here tag list: @marvelslut16, @siriusbarnesslut, @marimorena06, @weasleysbitch2, @reg-arcturus-black

Remus had been avoiding you for the past three days. Three days since you’d spoken to your boyfriend, two and half since you’d even seen him. It sucked.

The reasoning behind it was somehow worse - you’d tried to tell him you wanted to sleep with him, and he had literally run away.

So you were set on finding the boy and talking it out , and if it came to it, breaking up with him.

You didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want you, especially to the extent of intentional avoidance.

You were in a relationship, not an extended game of hide and seek.

So you’d concocted a plan - Tuesdays were when the other boys had quidditch practice, and Remus would be in his dorm on his own for at least three hours, studying, doing homework, or whatever it was that he would do on his own.

Now, today was Tuesday, which meant that tomorrow morning you’d either be very satisfied, or very single.

You weren't even quite certain what you'd expected to come out of the confrontation – a screaming match where you found out all the reasons why he didn't want you? A startling confession where you found out that your boyfriend was a virgin?

Nevertheless, you stalked towards the Marauders' dorm room, intent on confronting him, only to falter as you reached the heavy doors, hearing sounds coming from the other side.

Registering what the noises were, you ground your teeth loudly, clenching your jaw as you gripped the doorknob.

"Oh fuck off."

⚔︎

You slammed the door open, Remus rolling off his bed in shock at the sound.

"Are you joking?!"

Remus looked at you in confusion and fear, kneeling beside the bed with his head peeking over the side, a sheepish blush coating his cheeks.

"Um, Y/N, do you mind? I was kind of in the middle of something..."

You let out a laugh of exasperation, throwing your schoolbag on the ground in frustration.

"Yeah, I know. I could hear you outside. Am I just so unattractive to you, that I basically tell you to fuck me and you had to run away from me? You'd rather fuck your own hand than me?!"

Bending over to pick up your bag, you could practically your heart breaking as Remus scrambled to put on his pants.

Your fears had been confirmed – he didn't find you as attractive as you found him, and it hurt. You just wanted to run far, far away from him, to hide yourself away and be able to release the tears that were threatening to escape.

But as you turned to run from the room, that familiar grasp landed on your wrist, stopping you from leaving the dreaded place.

"Y/N, wait–"

"No, I get it, okay? I don't need to hear you say it out loud."

Your voice cracked as you tried to wrench your hand out of the werewolf's grip, unable to hide your sadness and hurt as you were turned to face the boy.

"Y/N! Please, let me explain myself, please. If you want to leave afterwards, you can. I just, please?"

You didn't really want to hear his explanations, but some masochistic, yet hopeful, part of you wanted to know just why he didn't want you.

Maybe you could change for him?

You relaxed in his arms, still not quite looking into Remus' arms as you no longer made any attempts to run away.

"You're right, I did run away from you when you said you were ready to sleep with me."

Your eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to hear the rest of his words.

"But that's just because I was afraid you wouldn't want to be with me anymore if I told you what I wanted."

Your eyes opened slowly as you lifted your head to look at the boy, your brows furrowed in confusion as you peered at him.

"What d'you mean?"

It was Remus' turn to become flustered now, his hands moving from your side to cover his face in embarrassment.

"I–okay. You know how you thought I ran away from you because I didn't find you attractive?"

You nodded, still half-convinced that was the truth, the reason why he'd avoided you for so long.

"It, it was the opposite."

You raised a brow in disbelief, unable to stop a skeptical laugh from escaping your mouth, Remus' hands falling away from his face so he could look into your eyes.

"It's true! I, fuck this is embarrassing, and you're probably going to run away from me if I tell you the truth."

You crossed your arms with a huff.

"Well right now I'm not quite certain there is a 'truth' that you speak of! I'm quite certain you're just making it all up, trying to hide the fact that you think I'm unattractive."

Remus grit his teeth, his hands gripping your shoulders firmly as if to shake you awake.

"No! That's absurd. I, I find you so bloody attractive, and, fuck it I'm just going to say it and if you break up with me I won't even blame you. I've been having dreams of you and I, but in those dreams," Remus' hands relaxed from your shoulders, falling to his side in embarrassment, "I would, um, cum inside of you, and uh, fill you with my pups."

Your jaw fell open at the boy's admission, his right hand rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably before continuing to speak.

"And I've never even thought of that before! I think you're just so bloody hot that you've awoken some sort of primal instinct inside me, I just want to ruin you, and–and breed you. Fuck this sounds so creepy doesn't it."

You were incapable of shutting your jaw at this point. This was far from what you thought you'd hear from your boyfriend's mouth today.

"Y/N... I've scared you away, haven't I? I mean, of course you'd be freaked out..."

The boy continued to mumble to himself, terrified that he'd ruined your relationship, certain that you'd break up with him.

Contrary to what he thought though, you found his words incredibly hot.

And you'd be damned if you didn't make that a reality.

⚔︎

In the middle of Remus' ramblings, he was barely able to register that you'd moved towards him, placing your hands onto his cheeks until your soft voice rang in his ears.

"Remus?"

The brunette's eyes snapped to meet yours, gaze darting between each of your eyes as he awaited your words.

"Fucking ruin me, please."

Before the last word even left your mouth fully, Remus was already on top of you, his lips capturing yours hungrily, like you were his first meal in weeks and he was dying to have you.

As Remus devoured you, he backed the two of you onto his bed, his legs lodged between yours as you gripped onto his neck, eager to have him.

You arched your back as you were overcome with need, trying desperately to grind your clothed cunt onto his hard-on, but the boy only tutted at you, moving away from your lips to push your hips down on the bed.

"Such a desperate little slut, hmm?"

You only whined in return, trying to grind into his legs that were between you, Remus smirking down at you.

"Take your clothes off love."

Your hands moved to unbutton your school shirt without a second word, fingers moving in a flurry to throw it off before tossing your bra across the room, Remus moving at very much the same speed as he removed his clothes.

You both quickly found yourselves naked, admiring each other through lust-filled eyes as the boy lowered himself slowly towards you, his lips ghosting over yours as you laid yourself back down.

"So beautiful."

His lips quickly captured yours, both your hands exploring each other's bodies for the first time – tingles of excitement running through your bodies.

Your hands traced his scars as his ran down your curves, him stopping to suck in a breath as you cupped his cock, fully hardened under your fingers.

"Fuck, don't tease me Y/N."

You only licked the boy's lips in return, but was treated with a taste of your own medicine as his hand brushed your lower lips softly, tracing your slit teasingly slowly.

"Remus... Please."

Your cupped hand became a grip – encircling the werewolf's member as you began to pump up and down his shaft slowly, eliciting a low moan from Remus.

He responded by slipping a finger into you, the kiss broken as both your lips were preoccupied with a mixture of swears and moans, asking the other to hasten their pace as you two built up your orgasms.

"Wait, fuck stop. Stop Y/N."

Remus' other hand came to stop your hand as he kept himself up on his knees, pulling away from your close contact to look into your eyes.

"'m too fucking close, wanna cum inside you."

You swore you could feel your eyes darken at the boy's words, and so did his.

"Then fuck me."

⚔︎

Remus gripped your thighs tightly as he kissed down your body, spreading your legs and leaving a kiss on your soaking centre. You let out a shaky moan as he planted his tongue against it, licking a stripe up your lips.

"For next time."

The boy moved back up your body, his head hovering over yours as he looked down at his cock, pumping the already erect shaft before tracing his head along your lips.

"R-Remus, please. Want to feel you inside me."

The boy tutted at you mockingly, before sinking himself inside you slowly, moaning at the feeling of your walls stretching around him.

"Fuck, you're so tight baby."

You moaned around him in a mix of pain and pleasure – his fingers not at all preparing you for his cock, stretching you in a way that none of your exes could ever compete with.

"You're so big Re, please, fuck."

Remus pressed a wet kiss to your forehead, his face contorted in pleasure as he awaited your green light to start moving.

After a moment, you nodded as the feeling of being full sent tingles down your spine, letting out a loud moan as the boy began moving out of you slowly, shifting himself so he could grip your hips more firmly for support.

"F-faster."

You muttered out as you clenched your walls around Remus, your orgasm already building from when he prepared you.

"Yeah, my desperate little slut wants me to go faster?"

His hips hastened the speed as his words made you whine loudly, his head lowering to leave kisses on your neck, marking you for the world to see.

“I’m close Re, fuck.”

“Me too princess.”

The boy buried his face into your neck as he began twitching inside of you, his speed faltering for a second as he let out a moan that could border on animalistic, cumming inside you.

The feeling of being filled more than you knew possible pushed you over the edge as Remus continued thrusting his seed deeper into you, moaning as your walls fluttered around him, cumming at the feeling of your boyfriend inside you.

"You look so fucking gorgeous right now love, such a good little cumslut for me, hmm?"

You could only whine in response as Remus continued fucking into you, his cock hardening yet again at the thought of you full of him.

"Gonna look so pretty filled with m'pups, love. Going to fill you up over and over and over again, watch my cum leak out of you because of how full you are."

You moaned at Remus' filthy words, turning to kiss his neck, softly nibbling on his earlobe as you gripped onto his shoulders.

"Yes Re, fuck. Fill me up, feel so good with you inside me. Making me feel so full. Wanna have your pups, want you to cum inside me. Make me yours Re."

It didn't take long for a second orgasm to start building, and it definitely didn't help that Remus had moved one hand to start rubbing at your clit, making you moan at the overstimulation.

"Feel good, hmm, love?"

You nodded into the boy's neck, your eyes squeezed shut as pleasure coursed throughout your body, unable to process proper words. The only sounds that filled the room were the sinful slaps of skin against skin, and a faint noise that made you blush.

It was the sound of Remus' cock slipping in and out of you, slick with the combination of both of your cum.

"Re, I-, fuck, close, again."

Unable to string together a proper sentence, your walls began fluttering around Remus yet again.

"So am I love. You feel so good, making me lose control. Wait for me, we'll cum together."

Your eyes rolled backwards, waiting for Remus. The task seemed impossible as pleasure pulsed throughout your body, your toes curling and legs shaking at the feelings.

"Re, please, I need to cum so badly. You feel so good."

Your nails dug into Remus' back, the feeling burning into him and making him groan into your neck.

"Yes, fuck Y/N. Cum with me love."

Finally able to release, you let out a moan that bordered on pornographic, seeing stars as your eyes squeezed shut much harder than before. You felt ropes of Remus' cum hit your walls, another animalistic groan reaching your ears as he bit into your neck, making you moan softly in the midst of a post-orgasmic bliss.

Panting, your chests rose and fall in tandem as Remus fell on top of you, his cock limp inside you. After a moment, he spoke up.

"Y'know you squirted?"

Your eyes shot open, staring at the boy who craned his neck to look down at you.

"I-, what?"

The werewolf let out a boyish smile, tongue running over his teeth as he stared down at you.

"It was hot."

[mountswhore]

hi bestie, could you do one on your fluff prompts list the one "am i dreaming?" w/ mason please? maybe the reader surprise him on his training before the game against aston villa? super in love with your imagines <3

𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 — mason mount

summary: after being apart for so long, it was only right you surprise your boyfriend before his match.

notes: requests are open, ask away!

“Am I dreaming?”

"If only you were here," Mason sighed into his phone, you on the other end with a smile on your face, "it sucks that you're all the way up north." You were up north visiting your family for a wedding, and Mason couldn't attend as he had work. It sucked, but your family knew how busy he was.

"Won't be long now, only a few days until I'm home," you reminded him, sitting on your suitcase as your sister quietly zipped it up, "I think I'm still recovering from the hen night, you know how long my hangovers last." Mason chuckled, his heart clenching at the thought of you so sick and without him.

"God, I miss you." He admitted with a whisper, rolling over in bed and sighing. 11.49pm. He should be asleep, his intense training sessions were almost over, as the game was now two days away. Little did he know that it wouldn't be a few days until you see him, it'd be a few hours.

"I miss you too, you should probably get some sleep. Don't want to be off your game, do you, captain?" You joked, the word captain causing his cheeks to tinge pink. He'd told you that he would be getting the title of captain for this match, and you were over the moon for him.

"Yeah," he hummed, "see you Saturday. I love you."

"I love you too." You ended the call, rolling your eyes at your sister, who was pretending to shove her finger down her throat.

"He really has no idea," your sister laughed, lifting your suitcase and placing it by the door, "it's cute. You're both dummies, you were made for each other."

"Shut it," you laughed, embracing her tightly. It was Sunday night, her wedding on Wednesday. And when coming to her with this idea, she laughed and agreed. It was a lot of driving and petrol money for you, to only see Mason for one whole day, but it was worth it. Ben was constantly texting you about how unfunctional Mason was without you, joking that you were his battery.

"See you Tuesday night." You called out to your family, waving them off as you began your drive. You detested night driving, it gave you nothing but a headache and a short fuse. But it was worth it, you couldn't wait to see the look on his face when you arrive at Cobham tomorrow.

It was now just after 4am, and you'd arrived in Surrey. Luckily, you weren't the least bit tired, as you'd slept into the afternoon yesterday. Sneaking into your shared house would wake Mason up, he was a light sleeper, so Ben agreed to let you have his guest room. He'd told you where the spare key was, and you let yourself in. Attempting to get a few hours sleep before training started, you tucked yourself in.

"Morning, soppy," Ben mumbled, watching you stretch in his kitchen, "how was your drive?" You smiled and quickly hugged your long-time friend. You'd met Mason through Ben, after knowing Ben since school days.

"Terrible, you know I hate driving at night. Now I'm just nervous." You confessed, grabbing your freshly made cup of coffee. "I'm going to shower and get ready, see you later."

Two hours later and you were in your car, driving to the familiar Cobham training grounds. You had began to feel sick, nerves racking your body, seeing his car in the car park. You'd walked into the building, greeting a few familiar faces before finding the team on the pitch. You could see Mason laughing with Kai and Timo, your cheeks burning at the sight of him once again. You hadn't been apart long, but you sure did miss him.

You'd decided to sit on one of the chairs, making conversation with Tuchel until Mason spotted you. He couldn't believe his eyes, he thought he was in some kind of fever dream. You were here, in Surrey, no longer up in Manchester with your family. He'd stopped his conversation with his teammates, approaching you to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Am I dreaming?" He called out, getting your attention. All you could do was smile at him, standing up as he picked up his pace, finally holding you in his arms. It took everything in him not to bawl into your shoulder, he was so overcome with emotion.

"These have been the worst few days of my life," he whispered into your shoulder, squeezing you tightly, "how have you managed to pull this off?" You giggled, finally pulling away from him and putting your hands on his cheeks.

"I drove through the night," you mentioned casually, taking in his features and smiling at him, "we have until Tuesday afternoon together."

"I can't believe it." He breathed.

"Well, believe it. I'm going to get lunch, I'll see you at home."

[letarasstuff]

Making the Voice quieter

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it!

Summary: Spencer finds out about his daughter's eating disorder, he will he react?

Warnings: Angst, discription of an eating disorder (bulemia to be more specific), discription of (binge) eating, bad body image, self hatred, abuse of pills (diet pills)

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨

______________________________

Prison. Cat. Diana. All those things happened close to each other. Luckily a few months have passed since then and slowly everything settles down. Spencer is able to get his feelings sorted through, processing the events.

Ever since his imprisonment he follows a more or less strict routine, given the uncertainty coming with his job. Spencer still tries to keep it up. So is every Friday dedicated to buying the majority of groceries and needed non food articles.

Sometimes (Y/N) tags along, other days she already has plans with her friends. Her father doesn’t mind it much, he is happy to see her socializing with people her age. The two of them have one father-daughter-night in the week anyways.

“Sweetheart, I’m heading out! Did you put everything you need on the list?” He shouts into the apartment. A faint “Yes! Love you!” echoes back to him. A smile forms on the doctor’s face. Oh how he longed to hear those words from her every night while he laid in his bed, locked up for a crime he didn’t commit. “Alright, love you, too!”

Meanwhile her father has to deal with Karens being their ignorant selfs, (Y/N) is under the biggest stress she has ever been. The end of her sophomore year and suddenly every teacher thinks it’s alright to give the students a load of work in every single class.

It’s beginning to get to her head. Four essays, three projects and studying for two tests and everything is due next week. She can see herself sitting at that very desk for the whole weekend, trying to contain control of her current situation.

As (Y/N) begins to read the page in front of her again to pull any information from it, it feels like her brain shuts down. Only one thought possesses her. One thing that can assure her, make her happy again.

Her body moves automatically, into the kitchen to the fridge. Her hands grab what they can. Puddings, yogurts, bananas, apples, last night’s dinner, everything that she can carry. Then the teenager sits down at the floor and devours everything she just got out. (Y/N) doesn’t stop until she gets to this intense feeling of being full.

It seems like she snaps out of a trance. Upon seeing what she ate in the shortest time, the girl feels even worse. Quickly she tries to destroy any kind of evidence, getting the trash out, making the fridge appear more full than it is, anything.

In her panicked state she remembers the small container of pills in her room. Relief washes over (Y/N), thinking everything will be better. She takes two of them for good measurement.

With the relief also guilt takes over. What just happened wasn’t normal. But (Y/N) tells herself that she can stop any time she wants. It’s not like she is sick or something, everything is fine. It’s just her way to copy stress. A way she discovered while her father was in prison. The diet pills help her to undo her mistakes. Someone from her friend group, who is already 18, got her them from the doctor for a fair price.

Feeling calmer now, the teenager sits back at her desk. A new perception of control helps her to continue her school work. She has to get done as much as possible, because in not even half an hour (Y/N)’s best friend will be the toilet.

Spencer is completely obvious to it. Sure, he is a profiler and he noticed his daughter’s new view on eating healthy food and working out. He just assumes that (Y/N) and her friends are on a healthy trip and he doesn’t see a problem in this. On the contrary, he is happy that she wants to be good to herself and her body.

But as the weeks go on, a suspicious feeling captures him. “(Y/N)? Why is the fridge nearly empty? We got groceries last Friday and it’s only Tuesday. Did you have a party over here while I was away on the case?” Spencer enters his daughter’s room, trying to joke about it.

(Y/N) freezes. Of course she isn’t able to say that the food went bad and she threw them away, her father is meticulous regarding this subject, always checking the best before day date. “Uhm, please don’t be mad. But Alex, you know her, the short one with red hair, uhm her parents are on a business trip and she is not the best cook. So I brought her lunch and dinner over. I’m sorry for not telling you.” She looks down at the floor, not only to feign sadness but also to avoid his eyes.

The second the teenager talks Spencer knows there is something fishy. Her voice is higher and she fidget with her hands. But he writes it off as being nervous for not telling him. Ever since he is out of prison, it feels like his daughter is withholding something.

“It’s fine, Sweetheart. Just give me a heads-up beforehand, so I know to buy more groceries. What do you think about ordering something tonight? I heard from Luke that a small Chinese restaurant opened a few streets down. We can celebrate the end of the stressful phase in Sophomore year.”

It seems like (Y/N) is calculating something in her head. Spencer knows exactly what she thinks about. “You can forget about your calorie intake for one night. I see how much time you invest in living healthy, but we can let loose for a night together. Just some noodles with chicken or spring rolls and us trying to use chopsticks and giving up after two minutes and resorting to forks. How does that sound?”

The teenager would love to sigh, but it would only alarm her father further. “Yeah, you are right. Let us let loose. But only if I can choose the movie we watch after dinner!” (Y/N) feels bad for eating unhealthy food again. Her last binge was only yesterday and usually she tries to consume lighter things. But she has to bite into the sour apple, else her father will be more suspicious. After all, she can just stop. (Y/N) promises herself to not think about her weight, her shape or the calories she will eat.

Well yeah, no. Just after the first noodle hits her tongue, intrusive thoughts take a seat in her mind, getting settled.

‘You already look like a potato.’

‘Are you sure this is the right thing to eat?’

‘Can you really stop?’

‘Dad is going to hate you when he finds out.’

All of them and more enter her head. (Y/N) is unable to shake them off. She is fine. She doesn’t have a problem. She just doesn’t feel like eating now, that’s fine, right?

“Uhm Dad. I’m full and really tired from the day. Is it ok if I go to bed? Maybe we can rain check on that movie?” The girl asks, feeling even worse for ditching her father. Usually it’s the other way around.

“Are you feeling ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick?” Spencer fires his question canone being the borderline helicopter father he always is. “Yes, just really exhausted from all the assignment and school work. A good night's rest and I will be good as new.” (Y/N) attempts a small smile, but fails miserably at it.

“Ok, sleep tight baby. I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for you tomorrow.” Quickly she goes into her room. The thoughts in her head scream louder and louder with each step she takes. Can she really stop? Maybe she should come clean to her father.

‘And risking him hating you? Look at you, thinking you are sane is the only thing keeping him from abandoning you. How would you explain him keeping you otherwise? It’s definitely not for your looks.’

Later that night, (Y/N) hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep because of the voices, she makes her way back to the kitchen. In an attempt to distract herself, the teenager scrolled through her social media sites. There she was met by pictures of perfect people.

Perfect bodies. Perfect lives. Perfect smiles. Perfect family. Perfect friends. Everything about them is perfect.

And then there is her. Her body is unperfect. Her life is a mess. Her smile is not that of a model. Her family is just her, her father and the people he works with. Her friends aren’t always the best associates.

The stress of not feeling enough is getting to (Y/N)’s head. Like several times before that her body goes into auto. She doesn’t control her movements, though she tells herself all of this is willently.

Like so many times before the girl goes through the fridge and eats everything up she can get her fingers on. But this time one thing is different. Her father is at home. And he isn’t a heavy sleeper.

The movement in the kitchen wakes him up. Immediately his brain jumps to a burglar or even worse, an UnSub they once arrested coming after him. Quickly he gets his revolver and sneaks through the hallway to the source of the noises. As Spencer only sees his daughter sitting there, he instantly relaxes.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing up? It’s a school night”, he softly asks in order to not scare her. Still, (Y/N) gets startled at the sudden voice.

“Uhm, nothing much. Just hungry. Probably because I didn’t eat dinner”, she explains, looking at her father like he caught her with her hand stuck in the cookie jar. Spencer watches her closely. “This is it? Because from what it looks like you not only ate your dinner but also tomorrow’s breakfast and right now lunch.”

(Y/N) swallows her bite, feeling that sinking reality in her stomach. The pills. She needs the pills fast before her body begins to digest the food. “Uhm, yeah. I probably should go to bed. I need my sleep. Just let me tidy up. Good night, Dad.” But he is quick to stop her.

“(Y/N), I want you to sit down. There is something we have to talk about.” Hesitantly (Y/N) takes a seat. “What is it Dad? Are you reprimanding me for eating? I thought you wanted me to let loose for a night.”

Spencer sits, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Baby, I want you to be alright. But I think you are not.” His eyes get a sad look. “I’m alright. I am fine, Dad. What do you think is wrong with me?”

“Look, (Y/N), I don’t need to be a profiler to see that you are struggling with something. Do you want to tell me about it?” Her answer is a tight lipped smile and a “I’m fine. There is nothing to talk about.”

The father sighs. She is not leaving him much of a choice. “And what about them?” Spencer asks after getting something from the highest shelf in the kitchen, the one (Y/N) barely reaches by stepping on a stool. He sets a little container down on the table.

“Dad I-” “No (Y/N). You don’t need to explain anything. It’s my turn to talk. I found those in your room yesterday while I was looking for a book. At first I thought nothing of it, I mean you are trying to live healthy, so I thought this is part of the process. But then I saw that they have to be prescribed and I know that these aren’t yours.

“I wanted to talk about it with you anyway. But now I know that I caught you binge eating and I see all the signs. I see them and I’m sorry for not acting sooner. (Y/N), you need help and I’m here for you. I know the last few months were especially hard on you. I can’t change what was and what happened, but I will be here for you now." Tears stream down on boths their faces.

(Y/N) is stammering for words. “I-I am fine. I can stop anytime I want. Th-this was a conscious d-decision.” Her father envelops her in a hug, cradling her head to his chest. She begins to sob.

“I know, Sweetheart. It’s hard and it won’t get easier from here on, but I’m here. You know you can’t stop, it’s only an illusion your eating disorder wants you to believe. But we get through it together. You, I and the team if you want to. We take it at your pace.” By now the two are crying loudly.

“I want it to stop, Dad. Please make the voice go away.”

He can’t make it go away. No one can. But Spencer helps to quiet it. Together they tackle the disorder, through the good and the bad times. He takes off from work for a time and (Y/N) out of school for a few weeks to be able to work on it together, to make the voice quieter and her life better.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Two)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, oc is a bad friend:(, sexual tension (?), body image issues, oc is feeling a lil insecure, mentions of sex, sounds of sex, crying, male masturbation, fantasy includes: spanking and vaginal intercourse.

Notes: thanks for the love for the first part…heres part 2! I hope everyone enjoys:) get ready for drama to come hahaha. If you wanted to be added to the taglist just send me an ask or whatevs, and feel free to send one if you want to discuss the story!

Taglist: @monvieesdaebak @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

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Gentleman: “A civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man.” Is how the dictionary defines the word but if you were to look up the term in your own dictionary it would just be a picture of Taehyung’s handsome as hell face.

Opening the car door, pulling your chair out, holding your hand, softly gripping your waist, making you feel like the only one in the room—Taehyung is doing everything right. Your mind should be overwhelmed with the thought of Taehyung. He should be filling your every sense, he should be the only thing you can understand. He should be. But every time his perfect lips land on the skin of your cheek, your mind somehow finds Jungkook. That son of a bitch.

There’s a string of warm lights dangling on the restaurants brick walls, and it’s almost picture perfect but one of the bulbs is out and it’s making the scene less ideal. Your eyes keep going back to the one bulb that refuses to shine. You just want everything to be perfect.

“I know I already told you…” Taehyung is sitting across from you, his gentle smile making your heart flutter, “But you look so pretty tonight.”

You know you should be gazing into his chocolate eyes but you can’t keep your eyes from shifting towards that stupid ass bulb. All the other bulbs are lit up just fucking fine but this bulb wants to be difficult. It just hasto go against everyone else. Your eyes narrow at the string of lights and you scoff. This stupid bulb reminds you of someone.

Taehyung brought you to a decently fancy restaurant, the food is alright but he says the main attraction is the monster baked cookie with ice cream melting over the top. He is excited like a child at the mention of his favorite dessert, you can’t help but smile fondly towards him.

“So…” Taehyung slides the dessert closer to you, “I never asked but how did Jungkook take the whole not really talking in public thing?”

Your eyes shoot up to the stupid bulb and you blink at it a few times. “I…” Your gaze drifts back to him. “I didn’t tell him.”

Taehyung drops his napkin at the news, his eyes slightly widening as he processes your words.

“We just aren’t talking right now.”

You wince as the words leave your mouth, but it’s true. You are a coward who is just ignoring her best friend because you don’t have the balls to face him. You don’t have the balls to forgive him and you definitely don’t have the balls to inform him that he’s out of the picture for a month. Because you don’t have the balls to admit to yourself you chose a boy over your friend. Basically you’re just a bitch with no balls!

“Yeah, he isn’t really talking to me either.” Taehyung chuckles bitterly, “He’s really against this…I mean, I knew he was protective over you but—”

“Protective my ass.” You lean back in your chair, “He’s just being stupid.”

Taehyung looks at you and frowns. It makes you want to kiss his pouting lips.

“But thank you.”

Taehyung’s quizzical expression makes you snort,

“For the compliment. Thank you. You look really handsome as well.” You smile, your hand sliding across the table to hold his. You gently squeeze and pull back, letting go. Taehyung smiles at you but something strange settles in his eyes. He’s struck with an awkward expression as he forces another smile, his lips pulled together tightly.

“Thanks y/n” He opens his mouth then closes then opens, “For doing this. Seriously, thank you.”

“Well, you’re kind of supplying me with free coffee.” You laugh into your hand.

“Regardless,” Taehyung leans back in his chair, “You’re a good friend.”

Right. Friend... But you feel optimistic you will flee this place! The god forsaken friend zone! You smile at Taehyung, grabbing your fork and cutting into the cookie with it. You stare into Taehyung’s dark eyes as you bring the fork to your lips—okay yes, you are most definitely trying to make this sexy—you open your mouth wide and wrap you lips around the piece of cookie, you never break contact with Taehyung. You chew slowly and roll your eyes to the back of your head, like the dramatic ass bitch you are. You open an eye to see his reaction, you see him gulp and a small smile begins forming on his lips.

“mmm” you moan again.

“RIGHT?!”

~~~

“We got some pretty insta worthy photos!” Taehyung chuckles into your hair as he pulls back from the hug. “I would say tonight was a success!”

Right. A success. Because this is all for show. To get this Anna girl off his back. Not because he likes you or anything. You can’t help but feel disappointed in his words.

“That’s good Tae.” Your hands linger on his back, not wanting to let go completely. “I’ll see you tomorrow right?”

“And the next day and the next day,” he teases, “And don’t forget this weekend is the pool party at my friend Jin’s house.” Then Taehyung nibbles on his lips, “Jungkook is going…so you should probably talk to him.”

You probably should of figured Jungkook is going to go…but that doesn’t stop you from feeling shocked. You should tell him he needs to lay low in public for a month but you guys aren’t talking already so do you really have to have that discussion with him?

“We’ll see.”

Taehyung steps forward and grabs your hand, “y/n…I know I said no Jungkook but I really just meant that you two aren’t all over each other in public…you don’t have to ignore him at home too…I’m sure he isn’t feeling great about it. And honestly, it makes me feel guilty too.” He admits softly, his hand feels sweaty in yours.

“He’s an asshole.” You let go of his hand, you feel your chest tighten and you hate yourself.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter. I should get inside now.”

“Okay…” Taehyung leans in for another quick hug and places a kiss on your forehead. You wish you could enjoy it but on the other side of this forehead are thoughts of Jungkook. Once again, that son of a bitch.

~~~

The next few days pass quickly, you and Taehyung have gone on two more dates.

The second date felt like a movie—it was classic and dreamy. Taehyung picked you up and drove you over to the next town that was having a carnival. You walked around holding hands, eating cotton candy and laughing at his jokes. The night ended with the ferris wheel, where you two got some insta worthy pictures—one shot including his lips on yours.

It felt so surreal. He posted it on Instagram that night with the caption ‘Her’ with purple hearts and within a couple hours there were at least 50 comments congratulating the two of you.

Third date you two went to a drive in theater. You fed each other popcorn, talked over the radio’s audio and took snaps to prove your date to the world.

This week has been nothing short of amazing. Taehyung is absolutely perfect. You feel like the only girl in the world with him. Like you don’t have to compete with anyone. Unfortunately, the week may have felt amazing on the outside, on the inside it’s been…weird.

The weird part of this week is the lack of Jungkook. Your usual cereal at noon on Tuesdays didn’t happen, your usual weekly episode of My Hero didn’t happen, your usual chit chat and banter didn’t occur. Just silence and awkward passes.

It’s all your doing though…Jungkook has tried. He still sat at the breakfast table munching on Apple Jacks while you passed him by, walking out your front door to meet Taehyung. He saved this week’s episode to your list so you could watch it. He has sent you multiple texts saying he’s sorry and he misses you but you ignored them. You have purposely started putting a distance between the two of you and it makes you uncomfortable.

You remind yourself that, besides doing this because Taehyung requested it, it is also for the best.

~~~

You sit at the edge of your bed staring at the bouquet of flowers Taehyung had sent you this morning. You eye the flowers, taking in their gorgeous appearance. They’re open and full and colorful. But why do you look at them and feel disappointed?

They seem to be begging for water, so you stand to your feet and grab the bouquet. You head for the kitchen to find your mothers crystal vase so you can place the beautiful flowers in it.

Jungkook is sitting at the breakfast table, slurping on some noodles and playing on his phone. You completely ignore him as you walk into the kitchen.

You stand on your tip toes to try to reach the vase in the cupboard but it’s too high for you. God damn it, you think. There’s no way in hell you’re asking Jungkook for help, no way in hell!

*about 10 pathetic seconds later*

“Jungkook, will you help me?”

You don’t even turn around to face him, you just raise your voice so hears you. Yeah, you’re a coward. You hear the screech of the chair against the tiled floor and you shiver. Jungkook doesn’t say anything as he walks up behind you, his chest coming flush against your back and you swear if he tried to pay attention he could probably feel your heartbeat through the contact. You stay frozen as he reaches his arms above you and grabs the vase. He must of just done laundry because his detergent fills your nostrils, its clean and refreshing. He sets the vase down on the counter and he continues to stand closely behind you, his scent now overwhelming your senses.

“These flowers are pretty.” He leans down to say in your ear. His hand coming down to hold on to your waist. “But you only like tulips.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, “These are fine too.”

“Yeah, they are.” He admits. “But they’re not what you want.” He squeezes your waist, then he’s backing away from your body and a chill is left behind as he gets further away. It’s like the further he walks away from you the colder you become. As if Jungkook is the source of your warmth.

~~~

It’s Saturday afternoon and you are finally done getting ready. Taehyung is taking you out to a pool party today, hosted by one of his close friends—Jim? No, Jin. You know you’ve heard Jungkook talk about him before but haven’t gotten the chance to meet him since he’s a bit older and already graduated.

You look in the mirror as you tug your oversized shirt over your shorts. Underneath is a plain black bikini but unfortunately today is not a good day—you’re bloated as hell and it shows. At least you think it does. You continue to rate yourself in the mirror when Jungkook walks past your room.

“Didn’t know you were so self obsessed.” He pops in to say.

You turn to face him and as soon as he sees your frustrated expression he knows you’re on the verge of waterworks.

“Woah woah, whats wrong?” Jungkook is quick to rush to your side. You’ve been ignoring him for a week yet he still rushes to you when you need him. You’re a god damn bitch.

“I feel fat but I have a pool party to attend to and—”

“You’re going to that too…?” Jungkook eyes the ground under his feet. He sounds disappointed.

You try to steady your breathing but you feel a breakdown coming and Jungkook can sense it too.

“You’re not fat.” He states plainly.

“You wouldn’t know with these clothes I’m wearing.” You try to reason.

“Then take them off and show me.” He’s obviously aware of the bathing suit underneath but still, his words do something strange to you.

“No, I’m ugly.” Is all you respond with.

“y/n I don’t have time for this, either show me or like, don’t go.”

“Fine!”

You begin unbuttoning your shorts, painfully slow. He watches as you fumble with the zipper as you slide it down. You drag the shorts down your legs one by one and then you reach for the hem of your shirt pulling it over your head. This leaves you half naked and feeling incredibly vulnerable.

Jungkook eyes you up and down quite shamelessly. His tongue darts out to lick his lip and he muffles a groan,

“You look fine.” He says so nonchalantly it makes you want to pull his hair out.

“Just fine?”

“You look good y/n” he says, his eyes sliding to the left. You don’t feel quite satisfied with his answer so you step towards him, getting so close he is forced to step back until his back is against the wall.

“How good?” you say, your voice dipping lower than usual, “So good you would—"

Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr bbrrrrr bbrrrr

Your phone.

“Hello? ….Hey Tae. No need, I’ll just meet you at your car. Okay, bye.” You click the phone off and throw it on your bed. You gather your clothes and put them back on as Jungkook stands there awkwardly. Once you have your things you turn to face Jungkook.

“Well Tae is here…” you motion towards the door. “Look, if you’re going to be at the party can you try to…respect my fake relationship? We wanna make it as real as poss—”

“I get it.” Jungkook snaps before walking out your bedroom. Fantastic.

~~~

“And this is y/n.” Taehyung pushes you forward by the shoulders as you stumble in front of all these new faces.

“Hi everyone.” You squeak out.

Everyone gives you a warm welcome, many handshakes and hugs later you feel well acquainted. You notice a familiar face. He’s laughing with Jin over some beers and you smile in their direction. Namjoon, a friend you met freshmen year. He notices you look in his direction and he waves you over. So you walk towards him and Jin, Namjoon handing you a drink as you get closer.

“Long time no see y/n!” his dimples light up the entire backyard. He glances between you and Taehyung, who is chatting with some others.

“You and our Taehyungie, huh?” He grins at you, “honestly, I thought you would end up with Jungkook.” You can’t help but blush at that. A real deep blush. Namjoon chuckles but his eyes hold pity.

“no no not Jungkook.” You laugh awkwardly.

“Well, Jungkook has always spoken really highly of you so I am sure Taehyung is a lucky guy.” Jin chimes in.

For some reason you feel sick at that. Jungkook speaks highly of you? Yet here you are ignoring him for another guy. You are avoiding your own best friend because of a boy. Fuck, you are the worst.

“thanks guys…well, I’m gonna go see Tae.”

You walk over to Taehyung, and when he spots you he absolutely lights up. His boxy grin taking over his entire face.

“There’s my girl,” he pulls you in for a hug and places a kiss to your head. You want to melt, you want to feel the lava of love drown you but instead you feel anxious as you notice Jungkook from across the yard. He’s got a beer to his lips and his eyes on you.

“Thanks for doing this y/n.” Taehyung also catches the pair of eyes watching the two of you. He meets Jungkook’s hard gaze and automatically Taehyung is filled with anxiety as well. Jungkook just shakes his head towards his friend and takes a generous sip of his drink.

“Everything okay?” you ask, squeezing his hand in yours.

“Everything is fine.” He says with a tight lip smile. “Just glad you’re here.” He says honestly.

A few hours pass, and the whole gang is crowded in the pool. Mostly everyone is drunk, but you are pretty sober. Not wanting a repeat of last weekend. Yikes, amirite ladies? Taehyung has his hands all over you, which you don’t really mind. The thought of him touching you was once something that might make you faint but you’ve grown comfortable. Your eyes scan the pool when you notice Jungkook is nowhere to be found. Did he go home already? Maybe he was feeling so down because you’ve been ignoring him…god, you hate yourself. You just need to talk to him. You’re a shitty friend, for sure.

“I’m gonna be right back,” you whisper to Taehyung. He only nods his head and continues chatting with his friends.

Jin’s house is beyond nice, and also huge. You are trying to find the bathroom but feel like you are opening every door but the one you’re looking for. There’s only one door left at the end of the main hall and you bet your entire ass it’s the bathroom. You reach for the door knob when you hear something muffled on the other side. Oh, it’s taken.

“Thanks for this.” It’s a woman’s voice.

“No problem.” Its Jungkook. You feel your stomach drop. What makes you feel worse is how detached Jungkook sounds. He sounds far away and broken. The doorknob begins to rattle and you try to make a run for it in time but are too late. The door is swinging open and one of Jin’s friends is walking out and in the background you see Jungkook zipping up his pants. His eyes meet yours and you want to run the fuck away.

“y/n?” Jungkook’s eyes expand twice their size as he spots you.

“I was…I was just looking for the bathroom.”

Jungkook’s face hardens, “Well, you found it.” He makes his way to pass you but you grab on to his arm to stop him.

“Wait,” you breathe in and out, trying to give yourself time to think of what you want to say.

���What is it?” his voice is somehow softer than he probably intended.

“I want to talk to you…explain to you why I’ve been ignoring you.”

“Yeah, you’re still pissed at me, I fucking get it.” He spits out bitterly.

“It’s…it’s more than that.”

“More than that? Did I do something more? What did I do? y/n just tell me…” He rocks back and forth on his heels, his eyes glued to the ground.

“You’re going to be so mad at me, maybe even hate me—”

“You know I could never hate you.” He whispers, sounding so sincere it crushes you.

You glance around your surroundings, making sure no one is around and drag him back into the bathroom for some privacy. You shut the door behind you, trying so hard to ignore the smell of sex.

“Tae thought—” you begin but Jungkook is already rolling his eyes to the back of his head.

“Of course Tae thought.” His tone almost scares you. “Let me guess? Taehyung doesn’t want me around while you guys are fake dating. That’s not fucking weird to you?” He grits between his teeth. He balls up his fists at his side, you see his knuckles turn white and it makes you feel uneasy.

“He made some good points…”

“Oh really?” Jungkook laughs bitterly, “Like what?”

You looked into Jungkook’s doe eyes and feel a sense of guilt, like you somehow made the wrong choice.

“He thinks we’re too close. And he’s right. It would be weird if I’m super closer to another guy while dating him.” you reason, but your face falls when you see Jungkook’s scrunched up expression.

“You think we’re too close?” he whispers.

Well, yes. But also, no. Of course not, but also yes. How do you tell Jungkook all of that?

“People always think we’re dating or fucking or—”

“Oh? And all the sudden we care what people think?” his voice wavers from the rollercoaster of emotions he is feeling.

“Jungkook wait, I’m wording this all wrong. It’s just for a month okay?”

“You wanna date him that badly? That you would throw me away?” he grits out.

“Hey! That’s not fucking fair.”

“So what? Say your little fantasy comes true and he decides he wants to date you for real? Am I still out of the picture?”

“No no, of course not…” you shake your head and reach for his hands but he pulls away.

“So then what’s the difference now?”

Jungkook has a good point but you’re at a loss for words. Too choked up to speak.

“And you know what y/n? Fuck you for choosing him over me in the first place.” And with that Jungkook breezes past you, swings open the bathroom door and is out of your view.

Jungkook has never spoken to you like that before, you stand there with your mouth hung open and tears forming in your eyes.

He’s right. You fucked up. You did a fucked up thing. You chose a boy who may not even actually like you over the one guy who has always had your back.

“y/n?” you snap your head in the direction of the door to see Taehyung standing there. A look of disappointment decorating his face.

“I was told you and Jungkook were in the bathroom…” he spits out.

“I had to talk to him, that’s all.”

“Yeah, but how does this look for me?” Taehyung speaks sternly. You did NOT need this right now.

“Tae—”

“You couldn’t even last more than a week y/n.” he scoffs.

“Listen could we just talk about this later?” you ask with pleading eyes.

“I’ll call an uber.” He motions towards the hallway, “we can talk tomorrow.”

You slump your shoulders and nod your head, tomorrow sounds like it’s for the best.

3 days have passed and neither Jungkook nor Taehyung have talked to you.

You hear Jungkook come in and out of the apartment but you’re too shy to make a move outside of your bedroom. He’s either coming from classes, the gym, Jimins, or some girls house and you’re dying to know which.

You have been hibernating in your room, taking comfort in your bed when you get a notification from Instagram.

@V tagged you in a post.

You scramble to unlock your phone so you can view the post. Once you are on the app you click on you notifs and click on the post.

It’s a picture of you eating cotton candy from when he took you to the fair on your date. With the caption:

“Missing my girl tonight”

And a bunch of heart emojis. Your own heart sinks. He misses you? You close the app and instead open your messages.

y/n 9:08pm

You miss me for the show or is there some truth behind that?

Taehyung 9:20pm

Maybe it’s both?

Taehyung 9:22pm

I am sorry for how I left things…I was just kinda embarrassed that my supposed girl was with another guy,,,in a bathroom.

y/n 9:24pm

trust me I know how it looks and im sorry…

y/n 9:26pm

If it makes you feel any better Jungkook isn’t talking to me either.

Taehyung 9:26pm

Of course that doesn’t make me feel better, he is your best friend…

y/n 9:28pm

tae, I hope we can continue this…I still want to help you…

Taehyung 9:34pm

Ill pick you up at 6 for a date tmrw: )

y/n 9:34pm

I cant wait: ) : )

You click your phone off and toss it on the other side of the bed, you squeal in excitement as the realization hits that Taehyung still wants to do this with you.

You hear Jungkook on the other side of the wall, yelling into what you assume is his headset. He’s gaming. You miss him so god damn much. He has no idea what his silence is doing to you. You try to focus your attention on tomorrows date with Taehyung but you can’t help the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Guilt. You were an awful friend and now thinking about it you are continuing to be an awful friend. If he even counts you as friends anymore.

“fuck you”

Those words ring loud and clear in your ears. You didn’t even know Jungkook was capable of speaking to you like that. It fucking hurts.

Jungkook is in his room pacing back and forth. He saw it. The insta post. And he feels like he’s losing you. Neither of you have made a move to speak to the other. He’s just too hurt and you continue to see Taehyung? You obviously don’t feel too bad about the whole ordeal. And 3 days is just too long. A week was too long, but somehow these 3 days are worse.

Jungkook grabs his phone and opens up tinder. He messages one of the girls that’s been teasing him lately. He figures now is the time to make more of a move.

Jungkook 10:00pm

Hey ;) what are you doing tonight?

Leslie 10:10pm

Gonna be thinking about you probably;)

Jungkook 10:12pm

Instead of thinking about me, come see me.

And that was it, that’s all it took. She was quick to agree and he is already sending her the address.

It’s after 11pm when you hear the front door open, you quietly get out of bed, curiosity getting the best of you. Was Jungkook leaving? But then you hear a girls voice and you immediately frown. Oh. She sounds pretty. Is that even a thing? Well, she does. And it has you feeling weird. You thought you were over this.

You hear the patter of their footsteps walking towards Jungkook’s room, the sound of his door opening and closing just like that.

You walk back to your bed feeling ashamed for spying, but now you know you won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Fanfuckingtastic.

“aaahhh…” the random girl whines out causing you to shift uncomfortably in your bed.

“More?” you can hear Jungkook’s muffled voice, he sounds strained. Probably because he’s fucking some girl a few feet away from you.

You reach over to your nightstand for your headphones when you hear Jungkook grunting as the beds headboard bangs against your wall, he groans and moans and you feel yourself getting hotter.

You try not to imagine Jungkook in these scenarios but he sounds…no, you won’t have those thoughts…you don’t want to remember. Your hand is still midair when you retreat it back to your bed.

“Fuck yeah baby.” You hear him gripe. And you squeeze your thighs together. No, this cannot be happening.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” Fuck, she sounds so fucked out.

“Feels so good, feels so good” he pants over and over and you feel the back of your eyes burn.

“gonna come” he groans out and your chest is heaving now, your breathing becoming a chore. You can’t cry, not over this. He hates you and he’s buried in some other girl. And you want to fucking crying about it. You hear him moaning on the other side of the wall and then—

“Fuuuuuuccckk” his orgasm is fucking apparent. He’s obviously coming and you’re lying in your bed all fucking pathetic with tears staining your cheeks.

Jungkook lays in bed totally fucked out of his mind. This girl is sleeping next to him, trying to her best to cuddle but he resists. He wishes he had time to himself to think properly. He just fucked another girl and thought of you the entire time. He is 100% fucked up. Wait, wait. He needs to explain himself…it’s not like he thought of you like, sexually. It’s just you’re all that’s on his mind. Even during fucking sex. And he hates himself for it.

He decides to sneak out of bed to have a shower. He creaks open his door for any sign of life and when there is none he tip toes to the bathroom. Jungkook stands in the shower letting the warm water cascade over his skin, he just stands there lifeless.

Images of you cross his mind and he sinks to his knees, pulling them into his chest and he quietly curses under his breath. He misses you so much and things have gotten so messed up he just doesn’t even know how to fix it.

He scrubs himself clean, ridding the scent of the random girl he brought over. He sniffles under the raining water hating himself.

Jungkook dries himself off with your towel, and puts on his shorts. His chest left bare.

He exits the bathroom when he notices a light coming from the kitchen and sees you sitting at the table with a glass of water.

“oh.” Jungkook slips up.

“oh?” you wonder.

“I thought you were fast asleep.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

“Just woke up.” You lie through your teeth with a strained smile. “Couldn’t sleep…”

“I know the feeling…” he admits, walking closer to you.

Jungkook makes his way to the table before pulling out a chair and sitting down next to you.

“Listen—”

“Jungkook—”

You both begin talking at the same time. Jungkook ushers you to go first.

“I…I’m still fake dating Tae.”

“I know.”

“But…” your eyes gloss over, getting choked up trying to continue. “But I am so sorry.” A few tears spill from your eyes.

“I know y/n.” he reaches his hand to squeeze your knee. You feel so much better with him touching you. “I’m sorry too…I was really harsh. And it pains me every day that I haven’t talked to you.”

“Trust me, I get it. I wanted to like, kill myself not talking to you.” Your eyes slam shut as more tears threaten to fall.

Jungkook’s face morphs into a deep frown, “You know I don’t like when you say that…”

“Right…sorry.”

“Honestly y/n…I don’t know when I will be okay with this, but I’ll respect your wishes for the month.”

“Jungkook…” Your hand flies down to his and you squeeze it but he’s quick to let it go.

“I’m mad at you right now.” He admits softly, his breathing is slow and steady. “So just give me some space.”

~~~

Like magical clockwork you hear light knocking on your front door. You scramble to find your phone and your purse to make it to the door in good time but you hear it being creaked open and the voices of two men. Shit, Jungkook got to the door first.

Ever since you started fake dating Taehyung it seems Jungkook has been keeping a distance from him. You aren’t sure why but they’ve been weird. So you want to avoid as much awkwardness as possible. You grab all your belongings and rush to the living room and find the two men sitting on the sofa quietly chatting.

“Can you keep your voice down dude?” Taehyung peers over his shoulder, looking in the direction of your room. “Would if she hears?”

“I wish she would fucking hear,” Jungkook grits through his teeth, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, “Why don’t you just tell her?” he leans back on the back of the sofa, “She might be understanding, hm? Do it before it’s too late or I swear to god Taehyung I will tell her myself.”

“You swore you wouldn’t say shit. Just like how I swore not to say any—”

“Okay.”

“I’ll tell her dude. Just give me some time to—"

Jungkook’s eyes shoot up when he hears the light creak of your bedroom door open, he waits expectantly for you to walk through.

“Hey guys,” you announce your presence and both boys look up at you and smile. Taehyung with his boxy grin and Jungkook with a tightlipped smile.

“Hey y/n, you look nice,” Taehyung stands to his feet and walks towards you, “I mean, you always do.” He stops just in front of you and hands you a bag.

“What’s this?” you take the bag and jingle it around a bit.

“just something for our date.” He grins. “You can open it later.” Taehyung glances over at Jungkook, “Anyway, let’s get going. See you later man.” He nods toward the boy and faces you again. “shall we?”

You smile up at Taehyung and take his hand in your yours and lead him towards the front door but before you leave you and Jungkook make eye contact and he frowns.

Taehyung being the gentlemen he is runs to the car before you and opens your car door.

“Feet inside?” he asks and you’re nodding yes when he shuts the door for you. He runs around the other side and enters the car himself. Taehyung settles on an old 50’s station with the volume just right. He’s humming along with a dopey grin on his face, feeling satisfied with his choice.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“Let’s get some dinner first then we can do our date activity I have planned” he chuckles to himself, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

You drive around in comfortable silence when you decide to take your phone out and shoot Jungkook a text.

y/n 6:14pm

You okay?

Jungkook 6:16pm

Don’t worry about me while you’re out with another guy

“Everything okay?” Taehyung asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“hm? Oh, yeah. Just thinking.” You reply quite honestly.

“About Jungkook?”

“What?? Why would you assume that?” your voice rises in panic.

“Well, we were all just together and I know you and him are fighting…I thought it was a safe assumption.” He laughs awkwardly.

“Oh…right. Actually, me and Jungkook sorted things out kind of but we’re still barely talking.”

“oh? Really?” Taehyungs grip on the steering wheel tightens.

“He said he will steer clear for the month, ya know, in public.”

“He—he agreed?” Taehyung coughs a few times, his head pushed back in disbelief.

“Something like that.” You don’t really know what to say, this is an awkward thing to be talking about and you wish the subject would change.

“Anyway,” you begin, “How did things with Anna escalate?”

Taehyung freezes. The color draining from his face as his knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

“Um.” Taehyung feels sweat beading on his forehead as he tries to come up with an answer.

“You know how it is,” his mouth feels dry as he tries to speak, “She just won’t leave me alone and I want to show her that I am taken so she will get the hint.” Then a sly smile spreads across his face “and I think it’s working.”

“You think so?” you raise a brow in question.

“Well, you are such a convincing girlfriend after all.” His right arm extends towards your knee and he squeezes it. “Thanks again y/n…” he almost sounds…guilty. But you push that thought away and smile at him. Your sweet smile making him feel even guiltier.

~~~

“Dinner was sooo good.” You raise your arms above your head, stretching your body, a satisfied moan leaving you as you lower your arms again.

“I knew you’d like it! Best pizza in town!” Taehyung sets his credit card in the bill holder on the table. “Ready for what I have planned next?”

“hmmm, yes.”

The two of you wait for the server to return so you can finish paying so you can leave. Once all finished up at the restaurant the two of you head back to the parking lot and get inside his car to go to your next destination.

“Your apartment?” you ask as you notice his building coming into view.

“Yes. But you’ll see.” He turns his head quickly to flash you his pearly whites.

The two of you walk to his front door as he unlocks the door. Taehyung has a two bedroom apartment but lives alone. You’ve only ever seen his kitchen and living room and you’re wondering if you’re lucky enough you’ll see his bedroom. Hehe but that’s wishful thinking.

“You have that bag?” Taehyung asks,

“yup,” you say lifting it up and showing him the precious goods.

“Great go put it on!”

You tilt your head in confusion but you see how excited he is so you walk to his bathroom and shut the door behind you. Would if it was lingerie? You giggle to yourself at the ridiculous idea.

You open the bag to find some type of clothing. First, you pull out a large white t shirt and next was an…apron? The apron was a light pink color with a pocket in the front with your initials embroidered on it. You gasp once you realize it, your heart beating out of your chest as you melt into a puddle on the floor. He got your initials on an apron? You hurry to change into the white t shirt and put the apron on.

“Cute.” You murmur to yourself in the mirror before you’re out the door and back into the living room.

“How do you like it?” Taehyung asks from behind you, surprising you with a glass of water. You take the water gratefully and gulp down a few sips before answering.

“love it, but what’s it for?”

Taehyung beams, grabbing your arm and leading you into one of the bedrooms. He stands in front of the door and bounces on his heels.

“Ready?”

“Yes?”

“Never showed anyone this room but I feel like you’re special” Taehyung giggles, “Plus I thought it was a cute date idea.”

“hmm, okay. I’m ready.” You are such a fool for this boy, his cuteness doing a million things to you.

Taehyung begins to slowly open the door revealing a room with tarp covering the ground and easels taking up space. There are buckets of paint, a variety of colors spread all across. And many, many art pieces.

“You…” you begin to say in awe, “You’re an artist, Tae?”

“Aspiring.” He chuckles a bit bitterly. “How would you like to paint together?”

“You feel comfortable enough with me?” you ask, surprised.

“Something about you….” He starts but leaves it hanging. “Let’s paint!”

You dip your paint brush in purple paint and stroke it across the canvas, the color joining a mess of other colors. That’s art, right? Fuck, you are not good at this. You sneak a glance over at Taehyung to see him painting a scenic art piece. There’s mountains and flowers but somehow in an abstract kind of way, you tilt your head to the side trying to eye it more carefully.

“Hey, no peeking!” his bottom lip jutting out in the cutest way. You just want to kiss it.

You stand from your stool and walk over to his, your eyes never leaving his art work.

“I’m trying to figure out what I am looking at. Don’t get me wrong, its super cool. But like there’s this beautiful tree with flowers but also shapes??”

“Its abstract, y/n.” his tone is light and makes you flutter. “I like it this way.” He says softly.

“me too.” You look at him, his eyes meeting yours. His gaze shifts to your lips.

“heh really?” Taehyung’s cheeks turn a wonderful shade of pink, like the flowers on his canvas.

“You really are amazing, aren’t you?”

“Me? Let’s see what you got!” He stands from his stool and begins walking over to your art work.

“No!” you stand in his way, your arms flailing above your head. “It’s not good!” You laugh and push his chest back with your hands, Taehyung wobbles in place as he laughs at your dramatics.

“It can’t be that bad.”

You finally let him walk past you, he stands in front of your canvas with his finger on his chin,

“Okay, it can be that bad.”

Taehyung bubbles with laughter and you hit his shoulder but end up laughing with him.

“I told you.” You pout. Taehyung stares at you, his eyes once again shifting towards your lips and you aren’t going to play dumb, of course you’ve noticed.

“What?” you jut your lip out even more, walking just a bit closer to him.

“Nothing, you’re just cute.” Taehyung admits. His long fingers brush against your cheek as he pushes a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Like, really cute.”

Well, holy shit. Your heart and also your vagina cannot take this.

“How cute?” you breathe out.

“So cute I could kiss you.” Taehyung walks closer, his foot bumping into yours. “But…” He looks down at the ground, guilt beginning to surface, “y/n I have to tell—”

You tilt your head up and meet his lips for a peck on the lips taking him by surprise. Taehyung knits his brows together and is about to say something when he sighs out instead. One of his hands travel to cup the back of your head to bring you closer to him and he kisses you again. He deepens the kiss. Its slow and there’s no tongue, just lips moving tenderly against one another. You feel so light and airy like you could just float away until he abruptly pulls back.

“What’s wrong?” you panic, worry filling your eyes.

“We—we shouldn’t do that.” He finally says after a moment. Why? It was just some kissing between two people who possibly like each other? It’s not like you were delusional right? It’s not like you were making this up in your head. The flowers, the apron, the dinners, the car door, the ‘missing my girl’, the way he treats you can’t just be because of some fake dating bullshit. You know he is known for his kindness but to this extent?

“Why?” you finally say.

“Because,” Taehyung drags a hand across his face, “No one’s around. Let’s just take our pictures—”

BBrrrrrr bbbrrrr brrrrrr bbbrrrr

Taehyung’s phone is sitting on the table next to where the two of you are, it’s going off and you naturally glance over.

Incoming call: Anna

Taehyung races to turn it off, his face flushing and his hands have become sweaty.

“She…she just doesn’t give up.” He chuckles awkwardly, his phone in his grasp as you hear the buzzing of incoming messages.

“Is that her too?” you ask, feeling sorry for him.

“Uh, yeah…probably.” He says, his eyes looking all over the room but never on you.

“Well, let’s see what she’s saying.” You say nonchalantly, reaching for his phone but he yanks his hand back and barks a loud ‘No’. Startled, you step away from him.

“Sorry, I just…” he rubs his neck.

“No no, it’s okay, I shouldn’t have reached for your phone like that…” Something is off, You can feel it. But you want to push that feeling away.

“Let’s just take the pictures, I need to get home soon.”

“Yeah, okay.” Taehyung forces a smile.

~~~

Something is off with Taehyung. The way he wanted to kiss you but then pulled back. The way he got super weird after Anna called. Has she traumatized him that much? Is she like a real, legit stalker who is totally and completely obsessed with him? You feel bad for the guy, he seems like he probably has trust issues or something. Maybe he thinks you might turn out to be like her and he’s scared of that so that’s why he is pushing you away.

That’s gotta be it. You roll around in your bed about to finally get some sleep when you hear music blaring through the wall. Jungkook. You roll your eyes at his choice of timing. The clock reads after midnight, why the hell is he blasting music at this time?

You rise from your bed and storm into his room. Jungkook looks surprised to see you as he is in the middle of doing pushups—shirtless.

His muscles ripple with every movement and it has you practically drooling.

“Uh, can I help you?” Jungkook doesn’t look very annoyed, mostly amused.

“It’s late, Jungkook. Can you turn this shit down?”

“Can’t. Didn’t get a work out in today…so here I am.” He rises to his feet, shrugging.

The music is some horrible rock back that you can’t stand and Jungkook knows this. He fucking knows this. Wow, he really is mad at you still.

“Listen dude,” you put your hands on your hips, “I’ve had a weird day and I just want to relax.”

“Oh baby, I can think of a way for you to relax.” He winks. You want to puke, why is Jungkook so gross.

“Ew.”

“So…how was it?” Jungkook’s eyes fall to the ground.

“What?”

“How—how was your date with Taehyung?” he doesn’t raise his eyes, they stay glued to the floor.

“It was…” you get flashbacks to the awkward date, “fine.” You finish, not wanting to give Jungkook any more reason to dislike you and Taehyung together. “Yeah, it was fine” you force a smile.

“You know I know better than anyone when you’re lying.” He says, finally looking at you again.

Fuck. He’s right, if anyone knows you and your lying habits its Jungkook. He can read you like his favorite book. And it’s like, a picture book. Super fucking easy.

“It was fine Jungkook.” You lie again.

“What happened?” his tone eases into something softer, something more comforting and it almost makes you break and tell him the truth. Almost. But not quite.

“Nothing happened. Keep the music down, I’m going to bed.”

Jungkook watches as you spin on your heels to exit his bedroom, his eyes caving and watching your ass the entire time. He has a love-hate relationship with your house shorts, they’re sexy as hell and that’s the problem.

Jungkook turns the volume down on his speakers and sits on the edge of his bed. His head falls into his hands as he thinks about your date with Taehyung. Something must have happened. He knows it. He feels it. But he can’t force you to tell him.

He lays back on his bed and his face hardens as he thinks more about your fake relationship. He wants to beat Taehyungs ass. He wish he could tell you but it’s not his place and he just wishes Taehyung will do the right thing.

While staying loyal to Taehyung is he betraying you?

~~~~

Best friend: “A person you value over other friends in your life, someone you have fun with, someone you trust and someone in whom you confide.” That’s how the dictionary would describe the word but in Jungkook’s dictionary it would just be your cute face. Everything about you is cute to him, the way you walk, talk, dress, sneeze, just everything.

Even when you look gross as hell in the mornings dealing with a nasty hangover he still viewed you as…cute.

When Jungkook first noticed you was in his Literature class that took place on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He knew you always sat in the back and took your notes without really paying him any attention. And not to sound like a cocky bastard but…why not? He obviously thought you were pretty and there was something about you…

The second time he noticed you was at some frat party where he caught you staring at him and he thought he finally might have a chance at talking to you. Or get in your pants at least. He could one and done this situation and move on with his life but much to his surprise you weren’t interested in getting dicked down by him. No, you were interested in just…hanging out. Which he wasn’t use to. Most girls just wanted to say the got with the Jeon Jungkook and don’t pay him any mind for something serious. Because apparently he isn’t the type of guy you could be “serious” with. It’s not like he doesn’t hear the rumors. He hated this honestly…but he guesses it’s his own fault.

He even playfully offered to take you upstairs that night but you refused him. Much too shy. So he got a better idea: the 24 hour diner down the road.

You ended up talking until 9 am the next morning, laughing and snorting, telling tons of stories that cracked the two of you up. He even shared deeply personal information with you that shocked the both of you. But it just felt right—talking to you. He felt like he could open his heart to you, like he was making a real friend.

Jungkook doesn’t have much of a dating history…he mostly just sleeps around and is okay with that—because he has to be. Like what was said earlier, Jungkook isn’t a guy you get “serious” with and all the girls knew that. It just started with one girl spreading the fact he isn’t the type to ‘do’ relationships. He thought this would cause girls to try harder and try to change him or whatever. But none cared enough. He guesses…he just isn’t worth it. Does Jungkook yearn for something more? You wouldn’t know because he has never voiced it. Even though he isn’t lucky in love, he did get super lucky in a friend. That’s you. He cherishes your friendship more than anything in the world and wouldn’t do anything to risk ruining it.

3 years ago

“What about you?” you smile at him with all your teeth, “What are your parents like?”

You didn’t know at the time but this question made Jungkook feel the very dread he avoids feeling.

He looked into your wide eyes and couldn’t help the sigh that escapes his lips.

“Dad cheated the whole time and moms not around anymore.” Jungkook picks at his cuticles.

You felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up…but you were too curious to stop.

“Where did she go?” you can’t seem to stop yourself from asking.

Jungkook pauses his bad habit, his fingers coming to a halt.

“Can we change the subject?” he finally says, a small smile spreading across his lips, “It’s like, uh…a touchy subject. Ya know?” he almost looks as if he feels bad that he can’t confide in you.

“I promise I will tell you about it someday.” He swears with his pinky joining your pinky. You felt content with his answer but somehow you knew he probably never would.

Jungkook lays in his bed with his head dangling off the edge. Its 10 at night and you’re still not back. You had another date with Taehyung today—he knows because he follows the both of you on Instagram and you posted a photo of Taehyung in front of a mural that’s located just downtown. He grabs his phone to check your location and unfortunately you are still in the same spot—Taehyungs apartment. He hates this. Why does he hate this? Because Taehyung doesn’t deserve you and what he’s doing is not right. But he can’t tell you that because none of this is his business. Instead all he does is piss you off and he hates himself for it.

He truly thinks the world of you, he truly wants nothing but the best for you and he truly loves you. You’re his best friend.

Jungkook starts to doze off when he hears the front door being unlocked. It’s you.

Quickly, Jungkook jumps to his feet and scurries to his bedroom door and places his ear over the wood. He hears you talking…then another voice. You’re not alone. Its muffled but he makes out what you’re saying.

“It was amazing T,” oh, you’re with Trina. “He got me flowers, took pictures of me and got all my best angles.” He hears you giggling then another voice joins you in your laughter.

“I told you! This was a great idea!” Trina says, Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“He was such a gentlemen the whole time and it…I know it’s not real but I don’t know man…it feels real sometimes.”

“Girl, he would be stupid not to have a thing for you.” For once, Trina and Jungkook agree on something.

“I would actually kill myself if he did!” you giggle.

Jungkook goes rigid at your words, his jaw clenching so hard it ticks. He hates when you say shit like that, it creates a suffocating bubble around him that’s too hard to pop.

.

Jungkook decides he’s eavesdropped enough and settles back on his bed. He lays back, his arms folded behind him. He feels beyond frustrated and doesn’t know what could cure this. Well, maybe sex? Maybe he should call up some girl…maybe that could make him feel better. But somehow that didn’t appeal to him so much in this moment when his brain is occupied of you. So he settles for himself. It’s been a while since Jungkook gave himself a handy but he’s not opposed of going for it.

The lights are off and Jungkook is deciding if he wants to watch porn or settle for his imagination. A girl he use to hook up with enters his mind and he decides to roll with it, he dips his hands underneath his boxers to feel up his hardening length. He reaches for his nightstand to squirt some lube in his hand, his cock is only half hard by the time he’s gently stroking himself. The skin on his cock is smooth with few veins decorating the length, he’s already leaking precum while his imagination starts up.

He thinks of this girl and her lips, how she looks with them wrapped around his greedy cock and he becomes even harder. Fuck, he can’t remember her name—a piece of shit move but he doesn’t care at this point. He’s stroking himself faster, gathering the precum at his tip and smearing it around. A light moan escapes his lips as he tugs on the head of his cock harder. His other hand drags his boxers down his legs as his continues to stroke himself and then reaches to fondle his balls. He groans at the sensation.

He then thinks of the girls ass in the air, her wiggling it around and begging him to fuck her. Her ass is round and plump, it jiggles slightly as she squirms below him. His hand moves quickly as his thoughts get dirtier. He doesn’t see her face just her ass and her voice sounds a lot like…yours. Fuck, he can’t be thinking of you right now. He’s pissed at you, his thoughts growing angry yet somehow his hand doesn’t stop. He’s so close it fucking hurts.

“Fuck…y/n..” he whimpers into his shoulder. He now sees your face, underneath him, your hair all splayed out. Your lips are swollen and you whine for him, begging for him to fuck into you faster. Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut at that image, his hand stroking him impossibly fast as he is beginning to lose all composure. He shouldn’t be thinking of you right now, or ever—not like this. But he hears you beg for him, he imagines flipping you over, demanding you to raise your ass in the air. You beg to be punished, you beg for him to spank you, and he does. He pulls his hand back and slaps your needy ass and you whimper. He does it again and again.

He sees himself insert his cock into your pussy and he’s thrusting in and out like his life depends on it. Jungkook’s hand squeezes desperately around his throbbing member, he cries out quietly as he fucks you in his mind.

He imagines you reaching your own high, your moans and screams ringing in his ears and that’s what sets him over the edge. His cum spurts out of his swollen cock, spraying all over his hand as he begins to come to a stop on himself.

“fuck fuck fuck fuck” Jungkook is out of breath, his fantasy too much for him to handle. “What the fuck did I just….”

He sits in complete silence as his breathing comes down. Did he just? He is not supposed to do that.

[hoodievixen]

The Voice of God [Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Priestess!OC] Part 10

Summary: Steven and Godeleve thought they finally found some normalcy with each other. Little did they know they would drag each other further into the mysteries ands secrets in their lives. (Godeleve can see and talk to Gods - mainly the Greek kind)

Word Count: ~ 2.2k

Warning: angst, getting into Moon Knight spoiler territory, author has forgotten what a normal conversation is after the end of the world, no beta we die like men

A/N: I introduced two characters in one chapter. Layla is sorta more of a force of the plot than a character, but that will change. This chapter is sorta all over the place...  but it is what it is. This is not a fic of art it is a fic of fun.

Part 9, Part 11 ,  Master List

Godeleve's phone started ringing. It was complicated when Hermes changed her phone number, thought there were few people that needed to be told the new number. It was one such person who was calling her. "Hey Zen," she answered her phone, tucking it under her shoulder so she could continue working.

"Do you have time tonight?" they asked, "I have something I want to show you. I promise it won't take long. I know you have to go and do your thing. So I promise, one hour, then you can disappear into the shadows, and I won't get annoyed about you doing that."

"What is it?" she wondered. Recently Godeleve's time has been rather rare, taken up with responsibilities that she put on herself. Though Zen was also one of her responsibilities. Zen had the same ability as her. No similar to her. Zen could hear gods, but not see them, of course unless they were in corporeal form, but anyone could then. Godeleve met them three years ago, and decided to take Zen under her wing, and teach them about their abilities, and to live with gods bothering them.

Zen actually sounded excited, which was rare about something related to the other realms. "So you know how you told me to look into different religions and mythos. I started doing that, and I found something I think you would like. So I want to show you."

Godeleve leaned back from her project. "Alright, I can be free in half an hour, do you need me to pick you up?"

"No, just meet me there, I'll text you the address," Zen told her. "I'll see you in half an hour. Oh, and please don't bring any weapons. It's not that kind of place."

"I still might wear a wig, or something," Godeleve warned them, "I don't know if the cops are still looking for me, best to have a different face."

"Okay, I know how to spot you at this point," Zen said, "If you come as an anime character, I'll take you our for lunch next week."

Godeleve laughed. "Alright," she agreed. "Did that thing I asked you to do?" Godeleve had asked them to deliver something for her, but Godeleve had growing worries about if she even should have.

"Shit," Zen hissed, "No, I was at the museum yesterday, then I got caught up in all of this. I'll go tomorrow and give it to him."

Godeleve let out a sigh. "No, it's fine. Just throw it away. He's probably forgotten me already."

Zen was silent for a moment. "I still think that one is more of a curse than a blessing. Can't you ask her to get rid of it?"

"I'll see you in half an hour," Godeleve told them, hanging up.

--------------------------------------

Zen had indeed gotten good at being able to spot Godeleve, even in disguise. "Hello Tuesday," they greeted her by the name of the character she was dressed as. Easily being able to recognize it by the white frilly dress and blond wig. "Let me know where you want to go," they said, keeping to their promise. "And you honestly need to teach me how to contour that well.

"It was Apollo," Godeleve informed them, adjusting the back pack they had.

"Of course it was," Zen told them. They started leading her down a sketchy looking alley way. "I know it looks super sketch, but it's not."

Godeleve continued after at her usual switch pace, that matched up well with Zen's long strides. "Now this neighborhood used to be one of the most crime ridden areas in the city. But thanks to what they did, people don't even need to lock their doors at night."

The two came out to a larger alley which the way it was set up reminded Godeleve of markets and plazas in small villages. There were garden boxes along the side walks all with fruiting plants. Children and teens were playing soccer in the street, while adults were easily conversing. There were even small farm animals such as goats and chickens. It was like she walked onto a commune in the middle of London.  

Zen skipped ahead to be able to face Godeleve. "I remember how you used to complain about how hard it was to grow plants in the city. But look," Zen dramatically gestured to the plant boxes. " Fresh tomatoes. The even have a large hydroponic garden inside of spices and budding plant."

Godeleve just gently nodded her head. This felt almost too good to be true. There had to be something else going on here.

"And then everyone had the goal to learn three languages," Zen continued, leading Godeleve further in, to the inside. "We know you already have that passed covered, and I'm on my way with Spanish. But some of the teens know mandarin, which is super cool to think about."

Inside there was more people watching what looked to be a documentary from a projector. Indeed there was a hydroponic garden. There was also a large communal kitchen and dining area. It reminded Godeleve a bit like a college communal room, which she had seen when visiting Zen on campus.

"Whose words are you regurgitating?" Godeleve asked plainly.

Zen stopped walking to be able to face her. "What?" There was a look of pain on their face.

"Zen," Godeleve said calmly. "You don't care about things like this."

"But..." they were clearly shaken, "You do..."

Godeleve nodded. "Yes, you were right that this would be a place I would like. However, there needed to be sacrifices to make a place like this. And I don't trust those sacrifices that I don't know about."

Zen's hurt was quick to turn to anger. "Is there anything I can do to please you?" They wondered.

"What?" Godeleve asked, it was her turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

"I did what you told me to do, I found a practice of an old religion, and now you're scolding me?" Zen pointed out.

"Wait, old religion?" Godeleve asked, catching that. "Which one?"

Zen perked up. "Egyptian, they worship Amit. Punishing the evil doers. They want to cleanse the Earth and bring peace."

A pair of people walked past them, both of whom Godeleve recognized. One being Arthur Harrow, the person causing her so many issues for not just doing something in front of her. Then Marc, what was he doing not fighting him? No, that wasn't Marc, that was Steven. Marc said Steven wasn't involved in all of this.

"That's Arthur," Zen told them, " He's the head of all this, I'm sure he would love to talk to you." Zen grabbed onto her arm, wanting to bring her over but Godeleve stood her ground.

"Zen this is a cult," Godeleve told them. "That man is the cause of all the monsters coming to this world. He kills innocent people and damming them to an eternity they did not deserve."

Zen froze, staring at Godeleve with a blank look. "So no different than you," he stated.

Godeleve froze, mouth agape. "You don't know anything, " she said after finally finding the words.

"Thanks for finally saying what you think," they hissed.

With a huff Godeleve spun on her heal to leave, happy she didn't listen to Zen and hid her foldable bow in her back pack as well as plenty of arrows. She was rushing to find a good place to hide and pull it out. There was a dark gap between the main building an an empty one.

Godeleve slipped into it, pulling her bag of her back. Standing down the way, standing on tippy toes to peak in through a window was a woman with curly brown hair. "What are you doing?" Godeleve asked.

The woman jumped into a fighting stance. Godeleve held up her hand, her bow in one. "I think we are on the same side," Godeleve told her. "And you couldn't probably walk in. For a death cult, they are rather peaceful."

"You sound like you deal with a lot of death cults," the woman commented.

Godeleve shrugged, "You'd be surprised."

"Do I need to be scared of you?" she asked.

"As long as you aren't in a death cult," Godeleve answered plainly, returning her back pack to her back, up it was half unzipped for her to be able to grab arrows from inside it.

"I'm not," she answered.

Godeleve nodded, "Good, I'm Godeleve. If you're reading in, I'll cover you from above."

The woman looked confused. "Alright... I'm Layla."

"Nice to meet you," Godeleve said with a smile, "I promise not to shoot you." She then returned inside with her bow in head, prepared to fight anyone asking for it.

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Godeleve had just stood there and watched as Marc destroyed the mirror, his own reflection. He had to know she was there but he didn't acknowledge her not until Khonshu started to approach her.

"Fury," he addressed.

Godeleve sucked in a breath. "I don't go by that. I know sorta confusing, but just Priestess is fine. And congrats on figure some of it out."

"You are a strange creature," the god commented. "Which make me hate to ask this any more. Will you grant us your help."

Godeleve threw up her hand in a shrug. "I think that was going to happen even if you didn't ask."

"What do you mean?" Marc asked, still standing on the dais.

Godeleve sighed. "Someone like me has joined Harrow," she answered. "They can hear the gods. They are young and even younger to their abilities. I thought I was teaching them well. But turn out I wasn't. They were swayed by his words, and my failures as a mentor."

"Who do they serve?" Khonshu asked, wanting to know what he was up against.

Godeleve shook  her head. "They haven't decided."

"So they are nothing more than a human," Khonshu concluded.

"Rude," Godeleve scolded, poking the bident at the god, though it went right through him. "But yeah."

"Then there is nothing for us to worry about" the deity said before disappearing, leaving behind he avatar and the priestess.

Marc and Godeleve just watch each other for a moment. "What are you wearing?" he asked.

"Cosplay," Godeleve said simply, " I thought you said Steven wouldn't get involved."

"Things happen," Marc explained. "But why didn't you help him? You can take care of those things easily. And I know you were there." He held up the two arrow which had previously been in the jackal.

Godeleve stormed over to grab them back. "Because, he's just as capable as you." She grabbed the arrows back from Marc. "I was helping out to make sure Layla stayed safe. She isn't involved in all of this."

"You know Layla?" Marc questioned.

Godeleve was putting the arrows back into her back pack. "Met her momentarily."

"Can you do something for me?" Marc asked.

Godeleve glared at him, "I still don't like you."

"I know, but it's for Layla," Marc started. Godeleve crossed her arms, as a signal she was listening. "She will get involved with all of this. Which, as you said, she shouldn't be, but that's just who she is. When you can," he stressed that part, he knew Godeleve had her own stuff going on, "Could you keep her safe."

"Why?" Godeleve asked harshly.

"Cause... Steven might take control, and despite your beliefs, he's not as capable as I am. And, you are capable of more than me," Marc confessed.

Godeleve let out a dramatic gasp, and pulled out her phone. "Sorry, I didn't hear you," she was holding up her phone to record, "can you say that one more time."

Marc groaned, and pushed down her phone. "Can you do that?" he asked her.

"Why?" Godeleve asked in a more curious tone. "What is Layla to you?"

Marc refused to make eye contact. "She's my wife." Luckily with him refusing to look at Godeleve, he couldn't see the color drain from her face.

"I'll try," she answered. "But I have my own thing to take care of." Godeleve walked off the dais and then disappeared into the shadows.

She reappeared in her bedroom. That was the same moment she fell to the ground. She didn't know the last time she felt this strong of emotions. She cried and screamed, wanting to pull her heart from her chest and stab it. While love was shared by the mind and soul, and despite what may be believed what they had was a division of the soul, but they shared a mind. They shared the same love. The same love of her.

"Oh dear," someone gasped out. Godeleve looked up to find the one being she hated most at the moment. Aphrodite, the goddess of love. "Maybe you should have listened to Artemis."

"Go away," Godeleve begged through the sobs.

Aphrodite crouched down next to Godeleve, "Honey, I am the anger you currently feel. You are practically binding me to you." The god then sighed in pity at the state Godeleve was in. "I'm surprised you can even be in such a mess with the state your in, practically a miracle."

"I hate you," Godeleve hissed out. "I hate you so much. I never wanted to be like you. But here I am, 'the other woman'. You could have told me. Spared me and him all the pain. If he even had any. Because of you, everyone forgets me! Every feeling I've ever had for someone is destined to be lost to them, and mourned by me. I hate it! I hate it! IHATE YOU!"

Aphrodite huffed, standing up and crossing her arms. "I have done you nothing but a service. You never needed to fear someone finding you, thanks to me. And you got to experience love, shouldn't that be enough. How you were going, you were going to die again without ever experiencing it."

"GO AWAY!" Godeleve screamed. "I DON'T CARE IF IT TEARS APPART YOUR EXISTENCE! LEAVE ME ALONE!"