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buglife · 4 years ago

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Terra Lumina

A hollow knight au guide that I keep writing in. You can read all my writings and art stuff in the #terra-lumina tag. Mostly so I can just point to this post when explaining things awee. :3 Post subject to edits and changes.

Terra Lumina is an au where both Ghost (the little knight) and Quirrel are together and are the new rulers of Hallownest. So it's a royalty au! Pretty much it's slice of life where they do their best to be a better ruler than the Pale King ever was, ruling with kindness and intelligence. Seriously, like, the Pale King could have just talked to the Radiance instead of letting things snowball like they did. They both live in the new palace which is pretty much like the White House in that it's mostly dedicated to government with an apartment for the rulers to live in. It's where the old palace used to be, but now it's much greener and 100% less buzzsaws. It is post embrace the void ending and an everyone lives/nobody dies au where the only characters that are dead are those that were found so at the start of the game. Takes place about 5-7 years after the end of the game.

The two romantic rulers.

Ghost:Now taller than Quirrel and is the Shade Lord, god of void and dreams. Sovereign of Hallownest and rightful ruler due to king's brand. Can use telepathy but only does so with family/friends, as they are nervous about scaring people so uses sign language with them. Is very happy to have family/friends and overall liked by most folks. Is still scary to some and is sad about that. Married Quirrel. Considers Mato their adoptive father and calls them such. Still enjoys fighting (but for fun now). Since dreams are now their aspect, they gather up nightmares to help the population (and gives to their adopted grimmchild, Allegro, and Grimm themselves.)

Quirrel: Now called the Scholar King, rules alongside Ghost. He still has trouble believing that this is his life. Chaotic Good. Mostly deals with the logistics in running the kingdom. Adoptive mother is Monomon who found him when he was teeny tiny. Did not attempt to drown themselves, instead isolated himself when he thought Monomon was dead so Ghost had to find him. Still fights and can practically teleport. Spends free time in the palace library where a copy of all the surviving books were moved to and is free to the public to check out and read.

Family/Friends

Hornet: Still the Princess of Deepnest and was happy to have her mother Herrah rule again. Is officially Deepnest's ambassador and works closely with her sibling to be sure things that need to get done, get done. She won't admit it but she loves spending time with her siblings. Also randomly jumps Ghost to keep them on their toes and make sure they don't lose their skill. This can happen at anytime, anyplace. Is a close ally with the Hive and is helping the new Queen get used to her role. Also demands spars with Quirrel all the time because she does like her brother and law and the fact she doesn't kill him is proof enough in her eyes.

Mato: Dadmaster. Pretty much raised Ghost in between the end of the game to present day (and did a damn good job). Still lives in the Howling Cliffs and teaches students still, especially knight candidates. Is always on hand to cause trouble if needed. Is so proud you guys can't even. Keeps his home open in case Ghost and Quirrel need to hide for a bit. Officiated Ghost and Quirrel's wedding because of course.

Hollow: Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Hollow the Kind. Still likes to help people, and after having lots of care and therapy, is now more expressive and open. Is pretty much free to do what they please, and they choose to mostly patrol the kingdom and help when needed. Is constantly sneaking frogs into the palace because Hollow loves them. Can only use telepathy with other void beings and uses sign language to communicate otherwise. Is still missing an arm but had a magical prosthetic built. Loves to be in cuddle piles.

Tiso:Big brother figure and part of the new great knights of Hallownest. He is known as Tiso the Daring. Is actually a badass Captain America type fighter, just couldn't dodge a house sized mawlek and nearly died back then. Taught Ghost all the swears and often invokes 'Big Brother Rights'. Is also Captain of the Guard and has matured a lot since the end of the game. In a relationship with Myla and Cloth.

Cloth:Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Cloth the Strong. Makes sure people behave. Has healed from her near suicidal want to join her late lover, and now has a more positive outlook on life. Tends to organize tournaments that aren't fucked up and fatal like the Coliseum. In a relationship with Tiso and Myla.

Myla:Was saved from the infection, but it left her prone to sickness and a little weaker than most bugs. Compensates for still being cherry and wonderful to be around. Actually wicked smart and has helped Ghost restart the mining industry. Enjoys going to musicals/plays in her free time. Still loves being a geologist and provided most of the geological samples in the Capital's museum. Is in a relationship with Cloth and Tiso.

Ogrim: The only surviving great knight of old Hallownest. Is part of the new knights as Ogrim the Defender. Is the leader of the new knights and is a brilliant tactician. Has moved up from the Waterways to a new home and no longer lives in exile. Likes to plan parties and is generally doing better. He deserves it.

God Tamer: Real name is Xena (I seen it used around and I like it.) Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Xena the Tamer. Still works alongside her beast, ‘Pickles’. Has an uncanny ability to befriend dangerous beasts and pacifies them. Now has a small zoo’s worth of ‘friends’ that come and go for pats and treats. Dunks on Tiso a lot. Is surprisingly a conservationist. Will beat the shit out of people without hesitation if needed. Often fights new recruits to judge areas needing improvement. Has no tolerance for idiots. Was saved from the infection, but was not infected long enough to cause long term damage.

Allegro: The Grimmchild. Has chosen female pronouns. She is now past the grub stage and has left the kingdom to travel with her father, Grimm, to learn how to take over the Troupe. Still keeps in contact with Ghost through dreams and loves Ghost very much as their ‘Ren’. Was and still is, a little shit. Ghost misses them a lot but is comforted by her visits. Ghost saves nightmares to give to her so she can get big and strong!

Grimm: Considered a friend at this point, and taught Ghost about the dream realm. Visits through dreams. Ghost saves nightmares to give to him. Often has advice when needed.

Sheo/Nailsmith: Uncles. They both run an art school with Sheo teaching fine arts and Nail(Smith) teaching forging. They also run an art gallery. Are up to cause trouble whenever needed.

Oro: Uncle. The real sour one. Teaches new recruits and tends to weed out those that can make it from ones that can’t. Pretty much a drill Sargent. Ghost pays him not only in geo, but candy. Special, custom made candy just for Oro. It’s the only way they could get him to do this job. Oro won’t admit it’s also because he loves his former pupil no sir.

Monomon: Quirrel’s adoptive mother and currently is the royal researcher. Teaches classes as well. Ghost pretty much told her to do whatever as long as it will improve the lives of bugkind and she loves them for it. Is always down to cause trouble. Chaotic Neutral. Has some type of explosive with them at any given time. Tends to ‘vanish’ people who have wrong her or her son. Embodies chaos. Craves gossip. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Herrah: Queen of Hallownest and considers Ghost one of her children. Is happy to be Queen of her own people and is making up for lost time with her daughter. Likes to meet with the Hallownest rulers for a good shit-talking session. Is made of sass. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lurien: Watcher of the Capital. Disaster. Will stay up for days on end working on things to accidentally invent new things in the process in sleep deprived delirium. Often gets drunk or high and contemplates the universe. Has the best edibles around I tell you. Is actually good at his job, which is finding suspicious things and investigating them. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lemm: Runs the Hallownest museum and works in the back where he catalogs and studies findings and doesn’t have to talk to anyone and is the happiest he could ever be.

Seer: Holy shit she is old. Still lives in the resting grounds. Ghost visits often and brings tea and snacks. Grandma energy. Is currently working with Quirrel to recount as much as she can about moth legends and society so it can be preserved forever. It’s slow going because she is old, but it’s going.

The siblings: Are now at rest.

Everything else

White Lady: Is still alive and has left the gardens. She resides in a little hidden cottage outside the palace where she grows flowers. Is often called in to overlook agriculture efforts. Has long since revoked her crown and is content with a quiet life. Is not considered a mother by Ghost, and Ghost will not forgive her for her role in things. She is okay with this and hopes to atone someday for what she did.

The Pale King: Still fucking dead. Rest in Pieces you shit.

Eternal Emilitia: Is a member of the new noble class and takes her job seriously. She mostly keeps the other nobles in line when she can and helps delegate orders to places where they need to go. It’s like herding cats but she’s getting better with it the longer she’s around. Is respected by Ghost since she knows what it’s like to hit rock bottom and is quite sensitive to the needs to the people.

Radiance: Dead. Was going mad and in pain by the time Ghost got to her. Is now at rest.

Greenpath/Queen’s Gardens:Given back to the moss-kin and Unn. Unn has started to awaken more now that the infection is over and her children are freed from it’s influence. Is considered it’s own ‘kingdom’. Is in good relations with Hallownest.

Fungal Wastes: Still thriving. A hivemind made up of everything from microscopic spores to the entire fungal waste itself. The mushroom tribe trades with Hallownest and is in good relations with them. Still considered weird to most but they are good and peaceful people.

Mantis Tribe: Is in a good relationship with Ghost, Hornet and Quirrel, and not much else. Has complete independence but was asked nicely if they could help train the most dedicated of new guards/knights. Did not pass up the opportunity to be allowed to beat the shit out of willing Hallownest citizens who wanted to train.

Deepnest: Ruled by Queen Herrah and Princess Hornet. Good relationship with Hallownest and enjoys full independence. The beasts that reside are no longer hassled by Hallownest encroachment and thus does not push back into it. Exports silk products and is now a very prosperous nation.

Dirtmouth/Crystal Peaks: Still the same, but with now more people. All our favorite Dirtmouth folks are doing well. Elderbug is delighted to have a full town to be a mayor over.

City of Tears: Now called the 'Capital'. Plants are now on the ceiling to redirect water and stop the constant rain. It's much more pleasant now.

Colosseum of Fools: Left alone mostly. Ghost cannot stop people for wanting to go there if they are of sound mind to make the decision.

The Hive: Is now ruled by the new Queen Apis. Is fully independent and enjoys a cushy trade agreement with Hallownest and the rest of the various nations. She wonders if she will ever live up to her mother, Queen Vespa, but has many friends to help her grow into the role. Hive Knight is her loyal friend.

#hollow knight #terra lumina #au stuff #ruler au #ghost #quirrel #ghost/quirrel #myla/tiso/cloth #sheo/nailsmith #dreamers are alive au #everyone lives/nobody dies #my writing

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amane-by-together · 4 years ago

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Blue Hour || Amane Yugi pt. 1/5

(Amane Yugi x Fem!Reader)

genre: romance, drama, and a bit of fantasy

summary: amane was assigned to send letters to [name] from another school for a quarterly pen pal project in their class.

"You and I found in the sky in 5:53"

Amane grabbed a white pen from his black cylindrical pencil case and wrote some finishing touches for his letter on a black sheet of paper. He doodled some stars and constellations around the paper before folding it carefully then placing it inside a navy blue envelope.

He added some photographs of stars and moon stickers inside the galaxy themed parcel that he designed a day ago. Amane smiled proudly to himself after tying the twine around the parcel, he also slides in some post cards inside the twine.

“You sure are taking this pen pal project seriously, Yugi.” Yamabuki looked over to his dark haired friend with his phone on hand. “I barely even put effort on mine.”

“Look at Yashiro's though,” Amane pointed at the cream haired girl with teal tips sitting in front of him. She was putting a lot of designs for her pen pal letter so that her assigned sender would think that she's a creative person that matches their own aesthetic. “Hey, Yashiro-san, who do you think will be your pen pal?”

“I hope my pen pal is a boy,” Yashiro sighed dreamily as Amane deadpanned at her being a simp for hot and tall guys. He used to like her back then until he realized that he wasn't good enough for her. “And while we're sending letters, we'll fall in love—”

“Okay that's enough delusions, Yashiro.” Amane raised his hand up to prevent her from speaking more of her fantasies. “I've heard enough of them.”

“What did you put in your letter?” Yashiro asked.

“Pretty much about myself, I added some stickers and post cards, just incase my future pen pal would like them.” Amane explained while counting his fingers. “Hopefully they would because I made a lot of effort in it.” he said while scratching his cheek.

“I heard that our letters will be sent to another school and students from our grade will be our pen pals.” Akane explained as he went towards Yamabuki. “If Ao-chan gets a pen pal that is a guy, then I guess I have to eliminate the offender—”

“Whoah chill, Aoi.” Yamabuki glanced up to the red head whose expression quickly changed with a scary one. “What's with the bat though—?”

“Sometimes your obsession scares me.” Amane raised a perfect brow at Akane while resting his cheek to the heel of his palm.

“You're the one to talk.” Akane slightly glared at the smaller male. “At least I have a love life.”

“Fair enough.” Amane grumbled under his breath, looking away from the distasteful Akane. “Wait, you two are dating—?”

Amane was interrupted by their homeroom teacher entering the class. “Good morning class, did you have your letters ready?” Sensei asked as he scratched his chin. “To those who didn't know yet, your letters will be delievered to another school. Expect a letter from your new pen pal on the next day or two.”

The dark haired boy feels his eyes slowly drooping, it's always like this, getting sleepy in the middle of class. The cause? Stargazing.

Amane, ever since he was a little boy, he loved the moon and stars. He would open his window at night and look into his telescope to admire the star studded sky. Looks like he stayed up a little too long before dawn, you can't really blame him, who wouldn't like stargazing.

His eyes can't take it anymore, he needed to snooze off, just for a moment to rest. Amane folded his arms on top of his desk and puts his head down to take a nap.

“The other world at 5:53 is beautiful.”

In a dusk turning into dark, there stood a glowing carousel, spinning in a clockwise motion that seemed like it was twisting forever. Amane wandered around the place, wondering why he standing in front of a lonely ride.

He felt his ears ring and the ground slightly shaking. Amane closed his eyes as he felt the wind blowing against him, then everything stopped.

Amane fluttered his eyes open and saw a girl wearing a different school uniform than theirs. She was around Yashiro's height, he estimated, but nonetheless he never seen this girl before.

In a blink of an eye, she disappeared.

Amane raised his head up immediately from the sleep and panted heavily. Beads of sweat came rolling down from his forehead, his chest rises and then it lowers for a second, and he couldn't breathe properly after that. ‘What was that?’ he thought, drawing his hand near his chest to calm his breathing. ‘Who was that?’

He was sure as hell that he was confused, having a dream about a glowing carousel and a girl wearing a school uniform, whom he had never seen before, whatever that dream was about, he felt goosebumps on his skin. Amane fixed himself, he probably looked like he ran in a marathon and never got to drink water after that.

“Amane-kun, why do you keep sleeping in class?” Yashiro asked with a stern tone like she was a mother scolding her son for doing something wrong. “You shouldn’t sleep in classes anymore, okay?” she added while handing him her notebook which contains the notes that she took during the lesson.

Yashiro, as one of Amane's friends, was concerned for the boy. She was worried about him, but that doesn't mean the cream haired girl has feelings for the choppy haired guy. Like she said, she isn’t his type. “I’ll try not to sleep in class...” Amane receives the notebook from his female friend.

“If you sleep again, I won’t lend you my notes anymore.”

“Okay okay, I won’t sleep next time.” Amane assures her in a sweat dropped expression. “But I make no promises though---”

Yashiro snorted. “By the way---” Amane was interrupted by the school bell beckoning them to go eat their lunch. He sighed, he always gets cut off whenever he says something interesting. The teenage boy slumped his shoulders before going to the rooftop to eat his food.

All alone by himself like he usually does.

Amane was puzzled by the dream he had while he was napping during class. A carousel and a girl he had never seen before, perhaps that it was a lost memory of his or he had actually seen this girl but he doesn't remember her.

He'll figure that out on his own.

The next day felt like any other day. Amane groaned loudly, waking up from his slumber (surprisingly he actually slept) and not wanting to get up from the comfortable bed that he was laying down. He buried his face on one of the pillows. ‘I don't want to wake up, I swear to god.’

“Amane, Amane—”

“What?!” Amane shot his head up and shouted fiercely at his younger twin, Tsukasa who was standing on the door with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“Wake up, we have classes!” Tsukasa reminded him. Amane sighed and slammed his face against the pillow, he felt himself close his eyes to sleep again, until Tsukasa grabbed his face and forcefully removed his brother's face from the pillow. “WAKE UP!”

“I'm up, I'm up!” Amane removed Tsukasa's hands from his face and glared at him. “Jeez, you don't have to scream on my face.” he added while getting off the bed towards the bathroom.

Amane looked into the mirror with half lidded eyes while brushing his teeth, his dark choppy hair was disheveled with few strands of hair slightly sticking out, and his long sleeved shirt that two buttons were unbuttoned where a bit of his chest is showing.

After taking a bath, Amane wrapped a towel around his torso while drying his hair with another towel. He grabbed his uniform that was hanging on the wall and wore it in a speed.

Amane notices that Tsukasa left early which is unusual since he usually leaves early leaving his brother behind. He smiled to himself before heading on to school.

When he arrived, he saw that his classmates are crowded over to his very own desk. Amane pushed his way towards them. “What's going on?” he asked.

“Letters from the other school got recently delivered.” Yashiro answered. “Your pen pal letter is here, and I must say they're very creative.”

Amane felt intrigued all of a sudden, he went to his desk to see the pen pal letter for himself and when he did, his jaw dropped.

A navy blue parcel with constellations around the paper. It was tied by a twine and dried flowers. A smile ghosted upon Amane's lips, the pen pal knew his aesthetics and his love for stars.

He gently grabbed the parcel from his desk and examined it. To Amane's surprise, he saw a tag clipped from the twine, he reads.

[name] [surname].

The name of his new pen pal.

Amane unwrapped the parcel, there's an envelope that was sealed with wax. 'Fancy' he thought to himself as he slightly sticks out his bottom lip. Other than that, there are polaroids and moon stickers, but there is one thing that caught his eye.

A thin book.

Amane picked up the book, it was an astronomy journal that [name] made for him. 'This person must have made a lot of effort, I admire that.'

Amane opened the envelope first, inside was a neatly folded letter, he carefully unfolded it using his fingers.

Hi Amane Yugi-san,

I'm [name] [surname], your pen pal for this quarter! Well I made an astronomy journal since I saw your letter talking about yourself, hope you like it though ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

After reading the letter, a smile broke down from Amane’s visuals. His pen pal is revealed to be a girl who is a first year highschool student, like him, studying from Sanaol Academy, which is far from Kamome.

Time flew by like a shooting star in a dark blue sky, Amane went home feeling giddy to write his response to [name]. When he got to his room he immediately grabbed a lot of art materials to work on the letter.

Hello [name]-san,

Thanks for the journal, I love the contents inside of it. Anyways, I hope we'll meet someday and talk about the stars together! I have a playlist where you can listen while stargazing hehe~

Amane smiled to himself, resting his cheek to the heel of his palm while writing his letter to [name]. Maybe this pen pal project isn't going to be bad after all.

Meanwhile in [name]'s side, she was sitting on her swivel chair with a cheeky smile on her face while reading Amane's letter. The strands of her hair are falling to her hair, admiring his words.

“[name], dinner's ready!”

“Coming!” [name] grinned before going downstairs to eat dinner with her family.

“The door of my dreams unreal, you from my memories become real”

@closetweebsmh @closetwaffle

#amane yugi #amane yugi x reader #fluff #hanako x reader #jibaku shounen hanako kun #anime #tbhk #yugi amane x reader #yugi amane #amane #blue hour

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daredevilexchange · 4 years ago

Photo

Want to be featured here? Head to this page and fill in the form!

See what this is about here, or if you’re using the app here.

What’s your fannish ID? inkforhumanhands but until recently I went by hxcpanda. I took my name from a poem I wrote that used discarded newspapers as a metaphor. The part I took it from went like this: "and the ink that is meant to rub off on human hands but bleeds into itself quietly instead."

What types of fanworks do you create? I write fics! I might possibly make some DD icons someday though. And I wish I could do art but frankly I don't think my brain is wired for the kind of patience learning to do it requires.

What are your favourite types of fanworks, when you're not creating? Honestly I enjoy a bit of everything, but I consume the most fics, gifs, and art.

What do you like in particular about this fandom? I like that everyone is really supportive of each other! People will cheer you on with your WIPs, etc., and I don't think I've ever seen anyone receiving hate for something they'd written, either, which is a huge plus. My favorite genres and probably angst and hurt/comfort, and I love a bit of good crack. I'm also a sucker for mutual pining and friends/idiots to lovers which is why I love mattfoggy so much.

Do you like participating in fan events? I do! I've participated in the past two DD Exchanges and one for the Mattfoggy Discord server. However I'm also a very slow writer so it's always a struggle to make events on time (and I was actually late once, oops). But events are cool because they make me feel like more an active part of the fandom I suppose, and they also force me to publish something!

What about your creating process? Lately I've pretty much only been able to write while doing sprints because it gives me the extra focus I need. I also tend to work best right before bed because that's the only time I stop procrastinating! And I usually save this for school projects, but every once in a while I fire up the Shia Labeouf "Just Do It" video for extra motivation! (It works, I swear)

Do you interact a lot with other fans? I didn't a ton before, but ever since I finally joined Discord (inkforhumanhands#9298) I've connected with a bunch of cool people! I also have some very cool tumblr mutuals. :D

Is there any particular piece you'd like to showcase for this post? You Would Never Call Me Baby (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29978820)! I picked it because I think it's the best thing I've ever written and I also think it's a good example of how I enjoy mixing poetry into my prose on occasion.

Do you have other fandoms you'd like to talk about? I'm obsessed with the movie Matthias & Maxime and it's just a regular drama (no superheroes) but it's also about two friends figuring out they love each other just like mattfoggy so...I was destined to like it. I'm also in the process of writing a DD mattfoggy fic that follows the movie's premise (they get roped into kissing for someone's film project and it changes their friendship).

Where can your fanworks be found? They can be found at AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkforhumanhands but sometimes I post snippets from WIPs on tumblr @inkforhumanhands usually tagged "six sentence sunday"

Thank you, @inkforhumanhands !

banner by @context-is-for-kingpins !

[ID on a white background, four black triangles that look like spotlights from above. Each illuminates one of the Defenders silhouetted in white: Jessica, Luke, Danny, Matt. A hand on the left is holding a pen writing the words Content Creator Spotlight. There is a little Punisher skull on the pen. End ID]

#mattfoggy #daredevil #Matt Murdock #foggy nelson #marvel #content creator spotlight

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loth-wolffe · 3 years ago

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celebrate with me ✨

my baby @anartisticfighter kindly said

-Clone pairing pleaseee. 💖💖 Doesn't matter which one at ALL, but right now I'm really crushing on Hunter. 👀😶

-I'm the oldest of six kids, so I'm sorta the bossy, self-proclaimed leader of my tribe. 🙃

-My hobbies/interests are a whole bunch of things-- martial arts, music, reading, health stuff, *some* writing, ART, old movies, and Star Wars 😂.

-Biggest dream is to travel the world someday

-I really like chocolate, like really, and... LOL I can't really think of anything I don't like. Awkwardness and judgy people, I guess. 😂

-I think my weirdest quirk is that I sometimes fall into a Kiwi accent, probably because of all the clone content I watch. But also, I swear in Star Wars, so I don't know which is weirder. 😂😂

-LOL Short little description™: 5'1", short light-brown hair (little above my shoulders), olive skin, dark brown eyes, and athletic build.

-Misc. traits: sassy, sarcastic, daydreamer; aware of pretty much everything around me; I will nottt let anyone walk over me; always looking to learn new things; I smile a lot; when I get mad or annoyed with something, I'll do this narrow-eyed death stare; I'm super protective of my loved ones; I'm one of those people who'll stand up for the little guy; and I'm *apparently* an old soul.

Thank you sooo much for doing this, and if you don't get around to it (I mean, come on, you've probably got tonss of requests) that's totally fine. 💙

And congrats againnn, on your milestone!! Your writing is amazing, and so are you. 💖

i actually laughed with the tons of requests thing bc made me feel like a famous lil bitch and I look at my ask box and it's growing spider webs and all (not really but. u get the feelin) but you're so sweet and your ask brought me the biggest smile.

i know you said hunter but. listen. fives.

it's just. your dynamic would be so good. and hear me out. your relationship would be like, those kind of couples that love each other so much but also are like, best friends?

fives is a cheeky bastard, so he'd have quick responses to your sass and he'd be SO sarcastic with you. and teasing is a must between the two of you.

AND. the bossy stuff. imagine. you and echo would team up to tell him to fuck off and he'd be sO done. but he mostly listens to you because 1. he loves you and 2. u look kinda hot when ur bossy. (his words not mine).

baby boy loves doing literally anything as long as he's busy, so he would take you to any places you like, (in my post order 66 au where palps dies and the republic wins), he'd love to show you the prettiest planets he visited during the war and that didn't got a chance to actually enjoy them bc. well. war.

he likes when you read him, and when you play some music, sometimes he'd invite you to dance right then and there, in the living room or the kitchen or in the middle of your office. just for a moment or two.

and he'd love sparring with you even if you kick his ass 4 out of 5 times and he'd be sO ridiculously cheeky about it.

he quotes old movies with you and sometimes sings your favorite songs bc he has heard them enough to actually know the lyrics, and he loves learning new stuff with you

when you go and start speaking with an accent for the first time he was sO confused, but he masked it with teasing, as usual.

"what are you doing?" he asks, an amused glint in his eyes and you frown.

"what?" he motions your face with his hand.

"the accent" you frown, before eyes widening in surprise and embarrassment, cheeks flushing.

"what accent?"

"what accent?" he mocks, his accent thickening a ridiculous amount before laughing, wholeheartedly, a rich sound that makes you sink further in your spot on the couch and yet your heart beat wildly in your chest because the sound comes rare in these hard times.

"you're an ass," you push him away, the smile in your face betraying you from getting angry at him.

"I'm joking babe," he kisses your lips chastely, "it was cute, do it again."

he totally asks you to imitate rex or echo sometimes and he loses his shit every. time.

#AKDJSJ it took me so long to answer this im sorry baby #but thank you for asking #you're so sweet<3 #mwah #hope you like this tho #ari answers #ship games

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overwatch-does-stuff · 4 years ago

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Lindholm Family Headcanon Dump!

I know Michael Chu retracted the statement that Torbjorn has a bunch of kids, but Chu just quit so I make the rules now. It’s a LONG post under the cut because I got carried away. Mostly starring Torbjorn, but featuring Ingrid, Reinhardt, and Brigitte (plus a bunch of other kiddos that exist but I don’t have headcanon names for yet oops.) There won’t be any Bastion in this one because that’s an entire other post’s worth of content.

- Torb has a big family. He and Ingrid had a couple children of their own while he had a stable position in Overwatch, but they found out that they loved having little children around the house, so after all of their biological children moved out, they chose to volunteer in the foster system! This lead to them adopting at least four more kids. - Which means they drive a huge van everywhere. - Both Ingrid and Torbjorn are masters at driving as a result. - They’re exactly equivalent in skill with one exception: Ingrid can parallel park the van, a skill he has yet to figure.

- Their house is pretty big (the Overwatch paycheck paid well, that, along with Ingrid’s income,) so there’s plenty of room for all of them. - There’s three levels: upstairs (for the bedrooms and playrooms,) downstairs (for entertaining spaces/the kitchen and stuff,) and finally, the basement, which is Torbjorn’s personal workshop. - Most third world countries would kill to have a workshop as good as his. - It’s all because Ingrid spoils him so much. He gets just as excited for Christmas as his kiddos do. - “The latest arc welder? Aww, honey, you shouldn’t have!” - Ingrid doesn’t work in his field, but she listens to his special interests dumps, and puts in enough research of her own, that she knows just what to get him every year. - Ingrid doesn’t like getting gifts as much as he does, so for Christmas, he always makes sure to spend quality time with her. He jokes that he ‘sucks at planning dates’ but he really doesn’t! For her, it’s nothing but the top restaurants and most exciting experiences. She loves going ice skating in particular, something that he hates but will always do with her. - Torbjorn and Ingrid split the cooking equally. They’re a bit traditionally gendered with what they like to cook, with Torb leaning more towards grilling and Ingrid preferring baking, but it suits them just fine. - Their grill, along with every other cooking contraption in the house, has been upgraded in some way. In fact, Torb’s the one who grills only because Ingrid still can’t figure out how to use the damn thing since he upgraded it. - Their house is covered in contraptions of all sorts. Other than the grill, Ingrid utilizes every single one of them. Meals get served and sent around via chutes. The floors sweep and mop themselves automatically when they’re dirty. The dishwasher loads, washes, and unloads itself in record time. - You know the zany contraptions in the Addam’s family house? Think that, but more brightly colored. - However, Ingrid’s taste in interior decorating is the opposite of gothic or minimalist- she loves quirky, unique features and bright colors. - She loves thrifting. - The huge chair they got for Reinhardt in the living room was a thrift store find that she’s still very proud of. - She also has an old-fashioned “live laugh love” wall with all of the family portraits. She knows it’s cheesy, but it’s nostalgic for her. - She doesn’t just bring furniture home. She also brings home cats. - That’s right. Brigitte got her cat love from Ingrid. - It’s a long-standing tradition, with the first cat she brought home was over thirty years ago when they were a new couple. - Torbjorn swore that it would be her cat and that he wouldn’t take care of it. - He was wrong. - Very wrong. - He now loves his cats and calls them cutesy nicknames in whatever language he feels like in the moment. - He built them automated feeders, automated litter boxes, and even some automated toys. He spoils them rotten. - Every time Ingrid brings home a new cat it’s the same routine. He swears that this will be the last one and that he’s not taking care of this one! But that’s wrong and he knows it. - But, because Ingrid’s always bringing things home, she’s a little more tolerant when Torbjorn brings. . . a specific Omnic. . . home.

- But that’s a whole other fanfic that I would need to write, so instead, back to the parenting! - Ingrid is 100% a feral soccer mom. Torbjorn is just as bad. - They’re the ones screaming their lungs out at sports games. - They have a house rule where their kids have to participate in one extracurricular sport. It can be school teams, club teams, or even just working out on their own, but fitness is something that both Ingrid and Torb consider important. - Torbjorn, of course, built his own gym in the basement. He trained with Brigitte, and now he trains with another one of his daughters who’s taken an interest in weight-lifting. - But this all doesn’t mean that the Lindholms discourage more creative talents! - Torbjorn crafted a giant steel board where any arts and crafts get hung with magnets. One of his little boys is an artist and he couldn’t be more proud. - Brigitte experimented with metal art when she was a teenager, and many of her pieces are now permanent fixtures in the Lindholm home. - She crafted a particularly beautiful string of lights that hangs above the dining room table.

- Now it’s time for Uncle Reinhardt!!! - Okay, so maybe he’s called just ‘Reinhardt’ by the older kiddos, but everyone knows he’s essentially an uncle in all but blood. - He’s been invited to every holiday celebration for about. . . actually, he’s just always been there. - He’s a true multi-generational staple. Brigitte can’t remember a holiday without him, and now the younger kiddos are getting doted on by him every Christmas. - Rein loves telling stories for the children. He spends the entire car ride there planning his multi-hour epics. - Now that she’s older, Brigitte sometimes helps with the storytelling, contributing sound effects and such. - Something which just causes Torbjorn to laugh and shake his head. - Reinhardt also loves nothing more than being a walking jungle gym. As soon as he walks in the door, he’ll grab the nearest kiddo and put them on his shoulders. He’s often seen walking around with a kid in each arm and usually an extra hanging off his back. - Sometimes he gives Ingrid a heart attack when he starts throwing kids around, but hey, she’s known him long enough at this point that she (mostly) trusts him. - Everyone gets sad when Reinhardt has to leave, but he insists that there is justice that needs to be done. He soothes the kiddos by promising an even better story when he gets back.

- Now it’s time to get sad. . . here’s my Brigitte headcanons. . . - Brigitte was REALLY close with her father growing up. She spent so much of her time in his workshop learning from him, as one of the only Lindholm children to take a liking to machinery and engineering. - However, when she moved out. . . she found it difficult to escape his legacy. Everyone, many of the older industry professionals and the like, expected her to be just like her father. They tried to cajole her into finishing old weapons designs that Torbjorn had abandoned. - It was then that she learned the full extent of Torbjorn’s involvement in the Omnic Crisis. - She had a lot of trouble reconciling this news with her love for him. It’s still something she had great difficulty with. - This shock played a big part in her decision to give up on finding a job in the industry and instead accompany Reinhardt on his travels. - It wasn’t a decision that Torbjorn endorsed, which hurt their relationship even further. - But it’s not like he doesn’t try to keep in touch. They call every other weekend or so to catch up, but there’s always a tension between them that neither one is ready to address. - They will talk about it someday. They’ll figure things out. They care about each other too much for either one to give up. - In the meantime, though, Brigitte has gotten a lot closer with her mother. She calls her much more often. - They talk about all of the things that Brigitte wasn’t all that interested in when she was younger. Stuff like fashion, makeup, and more traditional advice, such as how to get a date or what it feels like to fall in love. - Ingrid also makes sure to show her how the cats are doing over the online call.

- To be truthful, Ingrid isn’t too worried about Brigitte’s decision to live the rough-and-tumble lifestyle. It reminds her a lot of her own young adulthood, where she decided to pick up everything and move to the big city to get away from her parents. - She’s quick to remind Torbjorn that her own little rebellion is how they came to meet whenever he gets worried about Brigitte’s decision. - (They met at Ironclad. The only job Ingrid could find after her big move was working secretary. She fell head-over-heels for him immediately, while it took him a while to warm up.) - (Their first date was just walking around the city, with Torbjorn talking almost the entire time about random things he saw. He’d see the newest cars on the street and dive into what he knew about that industry. They’d pass by a construction sight and he’d point out what tool designs were similar to the ones he was working on.) - (When he realized that she was actually listening to him and taking him seriously, he agreed to a second date and never looked back.) - They aren’t a perfect couple- they’ve had their fair share of arguments, especially because they’re both deeply stubborn, but they’re always able to work it out in a way that makes them both happy. That skill is why they’ve lasted so long. - One thing they’ve never argued about, though, is Torbjorn’s commitment to duty. When they started dating he made it clear that his work was very important to him. Ingrid made it clear that she was willing to be patient. - It got hard when he was away for months at a time with Overwatch during the Crisis and its aftermath, but through constant online calls they managed. - The biggest surprise of Ingrid’s life was when he told her he wanted to have kids when the Crisis ended. - Turns out, having a major life crisis about how your career impacted the world makes someone want to find another purpose in life besides their career. - And thus, they dove into parenthood together. - Now they both couldn’t be happier :)

#overwatch #torbjorn lindholm #overwatch torbjorn #ingrid lindholm #reinhardt #overwatch brigitte #brigitte lindholm #I have so many feelings about Torbjorn and his family. . .#I'm not sure this is very articulate but eh #who cares #it's content

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wannabepygmalion · 3 years ago

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30 factoids let’s gooo

( i just felt like doing these for fun... seeing briar do it + the ask memes got me thinking and i had the urge lmao )

1. His favorite Sanrio character is Cinnamoroll!! Also a fan of Marumofubiyori and Pompompurin.

2. Domino enjoys some music from pretty much any genre, but his favorite music usually is of the pop rock-pop punk-rock umbrella of sounds. He likes music that you could shout along to for Emotional Release (even though he will not actually do the shouting. he just still likes that vibe).

3. He likes Animal Crossing. Probably doesn’t care too much about having a super finished and decorated island, but I imagine he tends to drift towards fall/autumn aesthetics and cottagecore vibes for what he does do… I think some of his favorite villagers would include Sylvana, Marshal, Teddy, Patty, Chief, Benjamin, Anabelle, Eunice, Shep, Hazel… he likes most of the Sanrio villagers too.

4. His favorite season is autumn, unsurprisingly.

5. Domino really likes dyeing his hair! He likes the sensation of looking in the mirror afterwards and his reflection feeling Different.

6. He’s just so into art and art history. Once you get him to open up and he doesn’t feel like he’s annoying you, he will happily talk your ear off about (checks watch) the Corinthian order of Ancient Greek architecture.

7. Also he does enjoy himself a little K-pop. He’s not super, super into it, but he has some groups he follows. Likes some songs he comes across. This is largely because I like to think about what kind of idols he’d bias since I”m so into it. I would name some groups he’d like, but I doubt any of them would still be around by 2030--

8. Growing up, his family never had any pets! Too busy. I think, honestly, Domino’s maybe never lived in a household that had pets, only met other people’s briefly. He would enjoy having a pet someday, but right now he doesn’t feel stable enough or like his life situation is good for a pet.

9. He has a couple fake succulents in his bedroom. He is currently too nervous that he’ll accidentally kill one and feel awful about it to try looking after a real plant.

10. His roommate’s name is Atlas! Atlas is a Twitch streamer who’s been getting more popular recently due to Minecraft roleplay, and is also a musician. Atlas’ online handle is Bird; his real identity is not public information.

11. Which. Yes, Domino has played Minecraft. But only on creative mode. He thinks it’s fun to build when his brain needs to chill, not really here for combat and all that.

12. He has a tattoo of a larkspur flower on one of his forearms; he got this pretty recently! Within the last 3 months or so.

13. He is banned from every Jamba Juice. If you ask him about this, he will either avoid it or tell you a different story every time.

14. Domino is actually really good at drawing as well as sculpting, but he heavily prefers sculpting. He’s been drawing for longer, but, when he first tried sculpting, something about it just clicked with him that he’d never experienced prior.

15. He doesn’t drink alcohol, nor does he consume caffeine!

16. Atlas is also a faceless streamer -- his audience doesn’t know Domino exists beyond Atlas mentioning he has a roommate. Domino would like to keep it that way as much as possible.

17. He’s not a big spender… a good chunk of the money he earns from working goes to general life expenses -- rent, groceries, etc. He is not rich by any means. Money that’s leftover gets put away for when he needs to buy more art supplies; he spent a hot minute saving up for his tattoo since he wanted it to be nice.

18. Domino has an Instagram, but he doesn’t really do the “social” aspect of it. He just uses it more like a portfolio to post his work. Doesn’t respond to comments or anything, doesn’t look at it otherwise.

19. In general, he kinda avoids social media besides, like. Youtube and Twitch, and even then, he’s a diehard lurker for everything. He has spent some time browsing R/ddit, though, because it’s a decent place to see people talking about extremely specific experiences. Been on some specific forums too. Sometimes stuff like that makes him feel more validated and shit. Only valid R/dditor on the planet, etc. He absorbs other internet culture via osmosis from Atlas anyway.

20. He doesn’t drive! He still has a license for the sake of having a valid ID, but doesn’t drive with it. Doesn’t even have a car.

21. He has an older brother, who’s an engineer. He’s a couple years older and is off married somewhere else having an extremely normal life. Domino is estranged from his brother and has never met said brother’s wife. Probably didn’t even go to their wedding, honestly.

22. Domino doesn’t do commission work! He just kinda… does things at his own pace, then displays and eventually sells his work when it’s done.

23. The agent Domino works with is an older woman who works at a local art gallery that kinda took him under her wing. For obvious reasons. I mean, look at him. Her name is Veronica McCoy. Yes, I just took two names from Riverdale and slapped them together.

24. He doesn’t believe in soulmates! Or love at first sight, for that matter.

25. Domino’s usual typing style is actually a lot more laid back and casual -- no capitals, more prone to shortening words, etc. However, he types a lot more formally when it’s appropriate and/or he’s not comfortable with everyone in the convo. Similarly, he’ll loosen up a little in-person as he grows more at ease with you. To no one’s surprise, he will not give anyone nicknames unless they tell him to call them something else… he doesn’t want to offend.

26. Yes, he can and will swear if he’s comfortable with you. Yes, Domino can and will say ‘fuck’ -- though, he doesn’t throw it around constantly like some of my other characters.

27. Domino has read a translation of all of Ovid’s ‘Metamorphoses.’ He loves that shit.

28. I think cows are one of his favorite animals… he just thinks they’re cute and have very sweet faces. He never wants to touch T/kTok (or its future equivalent) with a 10-foot pole, but he would be very pleased if you sent him videos of cute animals. Curated content with none of the stress.

29. When very focused working on something, he tends to stick his tongue out. :P

30. Some plants I would associate with him include: cyclamen, columbine, and meadow saffron!

#ooc ;#domino factoids ;

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meibemeibelline · 4 years ago

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part 3 (FINAL) of highlights from that 32k word doc i wrote when i marathoned gazette songs (2012-2018)

PART 1 | PART 2

once again:

This is a combo of thoughts on music, lyrics and other random things I wrote while listening. Not every song will be featured, sorry.

I sometimes directly quote translations and when I do, I’ll specify whose it was. Here are the masterposts of lyrics by Heresiarchy , Defective Tragedy and Trauma Radio

I will write song titles for which there are warnings in bold and all caps

So this part will be a bit different because mental health and The Band became really prominent themes in their music in a way it wasn’t really before, so rather than simply writing about songs as they come, I do (attempt to) connect some dots between songs and albums

Also this is REALLY LONG (~5k words)

If you read any of these posts, thank you <3

CONTENT WARNINGS: murder (In Blossom), reference to abuse (In Blossom), suicide/suicidal thoughts (Kagefumi, Deux/Blemish), reference to PTSD (Incubus). Overall LOTS of discussions about mental health.

buckle up folks it’s gonna be a long one

So I listened to Division according to the limited edition version where the songs got split into the ‘story-like songs’ and the ‘hype songs’. Just while we’re on that, I like to think that Vein is the story part because these songs (the blood) are meant to go TO our hearts, while Artery, which is the ‘raw emotion’, is the heart doing the talking and supplying the oxygen that will do its thing. LIKE HEADBANGING.

“Ibitsu is not the first song they’ve written about changes in the music industry, but it’s quite different from others like 13Stairs[-]1 and Dim Scene. They were quite angry about the state of things, lamenting it. But here, Ruki is writing his and the band’s place in all of that. It’s like in the other two songs he’s like, “wow look at all this rubble. This sucks.” But in Ibitsu he’s writing about how he’s also in that rubble and thinks about what HE feels about it in relation to himself and the GazettE. And I find that quite interesting. Also hell YES imagery – skies as ideals, the world around them collapsing into ruin, the band as a flower amidst the rubble that can’t reach the sky. It sounds like he’s trying to navigate how he’s supposed to move forward when his ideals and what’s happening in the industry oppose each other quite a lot. He doesn’t reach an answer in this song and ends by asking whether it is actually in ruins or whether he’s just afraid of change, I think.” - interestingly, he uses this same imagery in Kuroku Sunda Sora to Zangai to Katahane to write about anxiety and not feeling good enough.

Quick disclaimer on KAGEFUMI: I do want to say first that I’m talking about this purely as a piece of art. Not as in, like, “this is peak romance”, but just as an artwork I can have Opinions™ about, even if they’re possibly in disagreement with that of the creator. “The shadow tag metaphor for a couple committing double suicide meaning that they’re ‘becoming one’ and being together in death is A Lot. There’s an incredibly strong belief in an afterlife where they can be together makes (what Ruki describes) this stronger bond between them that literally lasts or even transcends the boundaries between life and death, rather than a tragic end (unlike Tokyo Shinjuu). Musically, I love this song and think it’s gorgeous, the way it’s sad yet hopeful. We over here with that bittersweet stuff again but lyrically it’s a WILDLY different route than others before it.”

“Yoin is such a heavy end to disc 1. The ending lines, “The sea of loss / Understanding of helplessness / That day we grieved” about the Tohoku earthquake/tsunami and the nuclear disaster is just so ……. And not only that, but how even though people still struggle to survive, people are moving on like it’s a thing of the past. It’s SO heavy.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“I think [Derangement] is about a massive internal struggle between wanting longing for the past, knowing it won’t come back, but also wanting to destroy the past out of self-hatred. There are aspects of the past, perhaps ambition and drive for example, that are good, but other parts that are not. It’s almost like a continuation of Remember the Urge but like…angrier and with more hatred towards his own past rather than only the longing of it. Which is also really interesting.” – this is definitely one of the themes that comes up A LOT from now, ESPECIALLY in Ninth. We’ll get to that.

“IS KAI GOOD??? That man is NOT human. I swear to god his drums in Required Malfunction are INSANE. ANYWAY, this song is about how people cannot be perfect and we all have flaws, especially in the context of relationships. I like that even though people argue and butt heads sometimes, there’s that Japanese verse where he sings “Let’s send a song without stains / to that innocence without lies / so you can swallow those wounds” and the last lines “Because you are always here, I can advance” to mean like…them being together can ultimately make them better and it can be a good relationship (if they work on it, imo). Also, I love the language he uses here – viruses and malfunctions and inputs – a very non-human way to write about human relationships.” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

(Dripping Insanity) “Solitude drenched in red laughs / in the insanity dripping in silence” is SUCH a good line yes hello I appreciate this. (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“EYYY HAVEN’T HEARD FORBIDDEN BEAVER IN FOREVER. At first I was wondering if this might be judgmental but honestly? I think this is satirical, especially from the line “May the truth you spew on taboos going frantically around / Shred the rhythm of high society”. Like the fact they’re gossiping about a famous woman who has a lot of sex and just TARNISHING her name bc of it, to Ruki, is a load of bullshit. Also, some of the lyrics in the chorus are funny coming from Ruki – “She has a sex addiction / Bang! Bang! / Cute luv machine” – like he does NOT ever write like this and this song is just a huge satirical joke I’m YELLING.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The transition from Malformed Box to Inside Beast >>>>”

“[Inside Beast] is definitely about having a ‘beast’ inside you that’s like all your demons and ugly feelings and to let them all out. He wrote about demons in Derangement, but the way he writes about acceptance is like…empowering and freeing. Not necessarily through words but through the music and just how hard this song slaps.”

“I really love the lyrics of [Until it Burns Out] and its whole thing about valuing the time they have as a band and to be together making music precisely because it’s going to end someday, and it’s going to be their last shot at living their dreams, which is to make music and perform TOGETHER as the GazettE. Like that’s so meaningful, and powerful in the way they just…grab it by the fucking throat. Breaking down the walls that hold them back, TOGETHER, towards the future in which they see their dreams. Like they’re not letting this be the end. They won’t allow it. UGH. UGHHH. The middle eight is so beautiful and I love the lines “The light that colours this irreplaceable scenery / burns the significance of standing here into me / Until the last” like they just love performing SO MUCH UGGGHHH FEELINGS”. (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“[REDO] IS SO GODDAMN SENTIMENTAL I’M IN MY FEELINGSSSSS. Kai being the composer, I can’t help but feel this is him paying homage to jazz, which is the music his mother plays and he loves her so so much. I’m probably reaching but THAT’S JUST HOW I FEEL.”

“EVERBODY SHUT UPPPP IT’S LAST HEAVEN TIMEEEE. It’s so gd gorgeous and sweet. I’M GETTING REALLY EMO WHAT THE FUCKKKK. BRUH. BRUUUUHHH. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL //THROWS. SHUT UPPPP. TOO MANY SKY, STAR AND FOREVER REFERENCES FOR THIS TO BE OKAY BITCH. This is Ruki’s love song to the cosmos, wishing to be eternal like the stars but acknowledging that all he can do is chase it knowing his life will end, BUT THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO GRIEVE BECAUSE THEY WILL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE IN SOME WAY WE /ARE/ ETERNAL. IT’S LOVING AND INNOCENT AND WISTFUL. This song is the goddess to all the GazettE love songs. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. “The distant sky, this infinite moment / I now wish from the visible stars / in this youthful merry-go-round / that continues to turn endlessly / I want to be eternal like you” – is just…such a beautiful image. “Let’s stay like this, having dreams we cannot reach / Long road which leads to the calm hill / I go, leaving my sadness behind / Good night…my beloved / Last heaven of mine” – it’s yearning but it’s the yearning for LIFE. And to leave behind sadness…Ruki very rarely writes about pain like this. And to call the ‘beloved’ his last heaven, the last thing in his life that’s just THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AND THE THING HE WANTS TO BE ETERNAL WITH goodbye………GOODBYE. “Love without shape changing day by day / Close together / we become / one shooting star” – AAAHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Also, for him to say ‘memento mori’ which means “Remember, you must die” in the middle eight of a song about wanting to be eternal just gives the entire sentiment a new meaning ;-;” (Cr: Trauma Radio)

“There’s a particular sound to Division and Beautiful Deformity (but more in BD). It sounds like rushing water. Loss in particular sounds like this. Like, the sound isn’t just ‘dark’ and ‘heavy’, it moves A LOT and there is sooo much emotionality in the songs on this album. It’s really dynamic.”

“The Stupid Tiny Insect revisits the theme of inner demons. Specifically, in this song it sounds like negative internal self-talk. It’s interesting though, the way that Ruki writes it as an entirely separate being to how he writes inner demons and whatnot in other songs, where it’s either another entity within a person that is part of them OR just…themselves. Here, they are VERY separate, and that probably allows him to feel and express rage instead of helplessness or confusion. I also love the reference to pretending to be okay – “I get high on delusion / And act as if I made them die out / ‘Just like a summer moth to a flame”.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“IN BLOSSOM is pretty fucking brilliant lyrically imo. It reminds me a lot of 32 Koukei no Pistol in that a protagonist who was abused/neglected by the parents kills them, and in the latter’s case only, also themselves. Some other differences: In Blossom is WAY angrier (and a lot more loaded) and the protagonist is trying to ‘make their own life’ (even if the way they choose to do that DOESN’T WORK), whereas the narrator in 32 Calibre Pistol was mostly lamenting that they’ve ‘lost their way’ and deep-down were wishing for their family to be happy together. I can’t say WHY that is. But it’s interesting that in In Blossom, the abuse just…DESTROYED their concept of family that they used to believe in entirely, and the fact they cannot separate themselves from their abusers neither by dying nor killing them is A Lot. So, they try to free themselves and ‘get hope’ by killing their abusers as revenge (“Die away, along with these wounds I’d counted”), but it doesn’t bring them happiness or heal them (“Even if I slash so much it’s unparalleled by the wounds I’d counted, it still starts to ache / It doesn’t even fight off the decay, much less heal me”). It’s very much saying that despite pain, revenge is not the answer. I also love the line “They adorn vividly – have blossomed beautifully / The sun that has started to set makes sure of it” to describe the wounds as the narrator kills their abusers and their loss of sanity as they do so.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“To Dazzling Darkness is about that moment when a concert is over and the lights start to come on. It’s so gorgeous. This is sort of like, the other side of Until it Burns Out. If UIBO is about the band then TDD is about the fans, and the band’s place in the world. I love the imagery in the first verse – darkness is usually associated with bad things, but here darkness is peace, escapism and unity that are part of the happiness of a concert, while the light symbolises the continuation of life. The scenery here is the same scenery in UIBO, which is the scenery of a concert that this band cherishes. There’s also the acknowledgement that time is fleeting and nothing is forever. Like, this is really the other side of the coin and I love it.”

“Dogma defines their new (2015) sound so well, which is HEAVY AND DIRTY AS FUCK. Like, it is SO conceptual and experimental and the painting is just GORGEOUS. I love the harpsichord in this song – as the predecessor of the piano, it was used in a lot of churches and religious music in the Baroque period (1600-1750ish), so using it here in a song where the band is likened to idols (the religious type) is super cool. And to combine it with these really low and heavy guitars just gives the DARKEST image.

And there’s so much going on in the lyrics – MANY MOTIFS, MANY MEANINGS. They bring back the concept of darkness as a symbol for escape from harsh life and of unity during concerts. As for death, Reita has an iconic quote where he said something along the lines of: “we often say in lives ‘to die’, but what we actually mean is to live. Live and be free”. I see death for GazettE as a kind of transformation – and end, yet also a beginning to become something or someone new.

Ruki hasn’t really mentioned god since Ogre in Dim, in which he basically wrote “idk if God exists but I don’t really care – all I need is me”. But here he likens the band to an idol of worship. We as the fans worship the GazettE, and they are also gods to us, their followers, in the sense that they provide us with life and unity (referred to here as death and darkness, respectively). The GazettE as a band brings darkness and death to the world (with their own meanings, of course).

This is also a song about the band breaking away from current gods and dogmas of the music industry, and from its greed. I also love the line, “The rite I must face is cloaked in darkness and isolation” – this process of their journey to finding their truth is lonely, and no one but them can do it for themselves. To do so also isolates them from everything they once knew. It’s them navigating what is expected of them by the masses and those they work with vs doing what they want without getting shunned for it.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“DAWN IS ABOUT REDISCOVERING THEMSELVES. I love the number of metaphors he brings back in this song – 13 stairs, death, merry-go-rounds and again dogma. Death here is about the transformation of them as a band, which occurs at the top of the 13 stairs to the gallows. And I find that so interesting because he uses the image of gallows (eg: 13 Stairs[-]1 and Forbidden Beaver) as like…an actual Death that means the end of a genre or a person’s reputation, but here it’s a place of transformation. In Last Heaven, the merry-go-round is a symbol of life – it comes back here but this time it’s red instead of blue (youthful) and is paired with the image of a mad banquet with emotions running wild (ie concerts). Basically, this is about the band’s life and, like, their life being about concerts. My favourite part is “Overcoming a period of confusion, I took those stirring emotions / And hung them up high on the 13 stairs” because there’s also the line “I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune / The ruined gallows towers above me” -> WE WENT THROUGH SOME SHIT BUT WE FOUND OURSELVES AND SURPRISE BITCH, BET YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SEEN THE LAST OF ME.” (Cr1: Heresiarchy, Cr2: Defective Tragedy)

Not from my notes directly but I feel like the difference between Bizarre to Juuyonsai no Knife (ie the only two songs about Real juvenile criminals) is a REALLY good representation of how Ruki’s lyrics have changed over the years. He went from taking perspectives of people who perpetrators of violence (to write horror stories, imo, but also to generally Explore their minds through art) to making comments about society and how systems affect people in real life. Not to say he doesn’t write about killers anymore or that social commentary is NEW for him, but just…a big change in what’s PROMINENT.

“Interesting that Wasteland is next, which is about Justice on the Internet. I know Ruki has always been really critical of the internet and the kind of social processes that occur online (see: Nakigahara) and here it’s about morality and justice, but more importantly the way it’s about crowd mindsets and CONTROL. And he just summarises it SO WELL in the first verse: “The thousand eyes that can kill even God / Transform into rebels that lust for control / If the time comes when right and wrong disappear / It will all end with a blood-red moon”. There’s also the line “Innocence gives way to sinful judgment” ie the innocent go along with their ways or it’s the innocent (the weak, as he says later) that are scrutinised. And I think about this a lot considering…some other fandoms I’m in >.>” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(INCUBUS) “The song is a lot of wondering what they did to deserve their trauma and how they want the dreams/nightmares to go away. I do like that at the end of the song they come to the conclusion that they cannot change what happened and decide “fuck the why”, accepting they didn’t deserve it. Even though the narrator is still stuck in the maze (of trauma), the letting go of asking why it happened is like, a really important step in healing. Because it’s the end of self-blame. So, I hope narrator can heal :( “

(DEUX) “My dumbass never realised this but the music of Deux itself has DUALITY. Metal with solo piano. IT REALLY TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO REALISE THAT HUH. It’s about two conflicting selves (which to me sound more like intrusive thoughts, considering Blemish’s VERY LOUD “These days I’m better dead”) and the effect that has on like, your emotionality and how it leads to loneliness. His use of nightmares in this song is fascinating – the Japanese word he uses (sakayume) is like…a reverse dream, like if a child has a nightmare you tell them it’s a sakayume so it means what happened in their dream definitely won’t happen AND something good will happen instead. And this is something Ruki prays for.”

(Ominous) “The imagery is really dark in this – “A prayer crushed under wreckage / Reflects in your eyes as you start to fly / I see you in the sky thick with shadows / Spinning around with nightmares” – there’s a desperate attempt to fly and get better and do Well but still they’re surrounded by darkness and nightmares, unable to escape. “Don’t forget that a heart cannot die / Don’t forget that dreams aren’t predictions of the future” –There’s hopefulness in a heart not dying yet a very strong despair when he says dreams don’t predict the future, not even reverse dreams. “It steals away my still-unformed future, and whenever I step forth / I can’t see a thing in that shadowed sky / My screaming can’t save anything / when I’m killing myself with sadness” – oh that hurts, that hurts A LOT. He wants to fly but he can’t. This is just SO MUCH. And they didn’t even have an instrumental outro, IT JUST ENDS WITH ACCEPTANCE OF HOPELESSNESS AND DEPRESSION.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“The drums in Goddess uggghhh UGGGHHH. AND THE GUITAR TOOOOOO. Lyrically, this is really a mid-point between depression and healing. It’s A Lot. He writes about his suffering, wanting to make something of his mistakes and his sins and actually WANTING TO LIVE. But it’s so sad that in the end he still feels really helpless – the subtle changes between “I want to become the stars that fill the silence” vs “I can’t become the stars that fill the silence”. But I think that on some level he knows what the next step is. He wishes in the last two lines, “If only I could share my grief that can’t be put to words / If only I could face reality and live accepting my crippling despair”. THAT’S THE FIRST STEP!!!! THAT’S A STEP!!!! TO HEALING!!!! “These bleak thoughts are my sacrifice that will one day begin to thaw into a selfless, smiling heart” – this line is fucking LOADED. Like, he sacrifices his bleak thoughts by expressing them and by making art out of his pain in hopes that he will be able to acknowledge and accept his suffering and his pain as a means to heal, as a way of allowing him to have a selfless and smiling heart. Like, this is SO much of what his art is about and what it has been for SUCH a long time it makes me so emotional that this is what he’s saying about his own lyrics.” I realise too that the goddess is likely the same goddess from Blemish. I’m still unsure what to make of it because Blemish ends in Ruki writing he doesn’t wants to be reborn, and not abandoned. But here he ends with wanting to heal. Wanting to move on and live.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO UNDYING.

“WHEN HE BROUGHT BACK “SLEEP, COUNT ME DOWN AGAIN” >>> God, this song is so powerful. THERE ARE SO MANY CALL-BACKS TO DOGMA. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THIS BUT STILL. BITCH WHAT THE FUCK. It’s a direct continuation of Ominous (“I won’t arise from this”). I think in this song he’s becoming that figure that is flying in Ominous, and the one that is surrounded by nightmares and shadows – the first verses are about how the future is drenched in misfortune yet we must continue to live (and suffer, but WE CAN AT LEAST BE A BIT HOPEFUL). Ruki says this YET HE IS STILL DREAMING, EVEN AS THE END COMES (“My heart starts to disappear along with the spirit of my words / And though it knew the end was near / It dreamt of things it shouldn’t want / And even now I am still—“). There’s also his mentions of sins again that he continues to drown in :( But overall, this song is really about living despite all the pain, which is really meaningful after Dogma ended on such a note of hopelessness. There’s so much power in this song.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

“Vacant doesn’t necessarily sound like a romantic relationship breaking down as much as it is about making a mistake and being unable to fix it between you and someone else (or other people), even if Ruki said he wrote it with a band’s image in mind. But the gist is is that there is yet again a struggle within the self (“Self-condemnation distorts the answer / And I lose sight of what I should be / Because of those unconscious actions / I can’t even dream”). The line “In the pain of not being able to tie back the undone thread / The traces left by stopping time keep piling up” really got to me – being stuck in time and constantly wishing for something that was and being hurt by the fact it’s gone is something I personally relate to. But even as the narrator is stuck in time, their grip on the past is loosening – they are forgetting, memories fade, and they lose their strength (“Vacant, you are withering”).” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

(Faling) ““Together, embracing the same pain: it’s only temporary / Don’t forget that this is not the end / So come on, let’s open our eyes and fall / We just believe in ourselves to die / Sometimes it’s okay to be broken” THIS MEANS SO FUCKING MUCH AFTER THE AMOUNT OF TIMES RUKI ENDED DOGMA SONGS WITH HOPELESSNESS AND AT BEST “WE HAVE TO KEEP LIVING AND SUFFERING AND BEING IN PAIN” BUT IN FALLING, PAIN IS TEMPORARY. PAIN IS TEMPORARY. WE WILL HEAL, BITCH. WE WILL GET BETTER, BITCH.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

Can’t find my notes bc it’s somewhere else in my Tumblr drafts but basically: I consider Mortal, Utsusemi and Sono Kore wa Moroku like a Depression Trilogy™ in Ninth. Mortal is about depression, loneliness and loss but like, tying it to a singular person or event in which the narrator felt grief. Utsusemi is about loneliness and depression as well, AND RUKI USES THE CICADA SHELL METAPHOR, WHICH IS THE SAME AS CRUCIFY SORROW (ALSO ABOUT DEPRESSION, BUT SOMEONE ELSE’S). But then, Sono Koe wa Moroku is THE turning point and where he first mentions (in this album) and actual DESIRE to heal and like, ON HIS OWN. IT’S ABOUT BEING STRONG FOR HIMSELF AND THAT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. And as I mentioned before, Falling also ends on a hopeful note about sadness not lasting forever – it’s like he’s prefacing the album with the fact sadness IS temporary and that there IS a turning point.

“Babylon’s Taboo is interesting…so apparently Babylon is a figure of western imperialism and capitalism in the Rastafari movement (an afro-centric anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist movement from Jamaica). The narrator is COMPLETELY aware of the oppression and injustice that goes on around him but confesses to doing nothing. I interpreted this as complacency to violence, which Ruki has written about before. Also, he describes a starry sky (which I presume represents wealth and happiness) as a lie, and that they are actually black eyes that watch and look down upon you. In the context of anti-capitalism, my interpretation is that the ‘guaranteed fate’ he writes about is the life-long struggle to attain wealth and happiness – we are doomed to dedicate our lives to this, futilely, to no end. and there’s nothing we can do about it. Another line that stood out to me most is “all I need is sanity but uncertainty will do”. this, along with the rest of the song, implies that the narrator is PRETTY DAMN SURE that we’re all fucked so like....HAHA COOL.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Two of a Kind) Okay so…another motif I noticed in this album is an I and a You. And I know this sounds weird considering almost EVERY SINGLE GAZETTE SONG uses first and second pronouns, but mental health is SUCH a prominent, overarching theme in a way no album concept has been before, hence why I’m saying this. Two of a Kind is really solidifying this for me, but they appear in almost every song (but the You is known as ‘she’ in The Mortal). This pair are connected in an extremely emotionally intimate way. For one, they share pain and understand each other’s pain. Secondly, the narrator falls into depression after they’re gone. A part of me thinks it could be a past self and a current self, considering Ruki’s said this album involved the Most introspection from him and Falling writes about sins and past mistakes again. So, it could be a way of separating a past and current self – a past self that was perhaps lost, and made mistakes, but ultimately creates his current self.

But it could also be another person, as this You figure is also a source of light – someone Ruki shares his wounds with, in Two of a Kind. If it’s another person, it may also make sense that the depression and loneliness written about in The Mortal and Utsusemi is triggered by someone extremely close leaving him. Either way, it is this understanding and connection between the I and the You that also bring hope for the future and I REALLY love the way that hope is conveyed in the chorus of Two of a Kind. There’s so much light in it compared to the parts of the song where ruki calls himself filthy and ugly, and when he writes about negative feelings that never go away and bleed into this other person. but i think this other person understands it, and that’s why he can move on.

“Abhor God is a REALLY dark and heavy take on MOVING FORWARD. Like there’s so much rage in the way he writes about killing his lust, pride and anxiety and stringing up his nightmares in a noose, yet so much power in how he moves forward and sings victory with his music and his art. This is likely connected to Ninth Odd Smell and Uragiru Bero - where he writes about the band’s history and his imposter syndrome as an artist despite the band never going to die just because of that. He contrasts ‘too fast to live’ and ‘too young to die’ like, he’s really in a sort of purgatory where he’s constantly making too many mistakes to be happy but has too much to do for him to give up. So it’s here that he chooses to keep going no matter how weak the beat is. Imagery-wise this feels like.....continuing to live not because you have happiness to look forward to but just out of sheer willpower. Like it’s just so angry. Angry at the world, at yourself, but carrying that anger to try to be better and move forward.”

“And Unfinished is about the fans being his reasons to live and IT MAKES ME VERY EMOTIONAL THAT THIS IS HOW THE ALBUM ENDS!!!!!!! WITH HOPE!!!!! AND MOVING FORWARD!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ENDED THEIR ALBUM THAT’S ABOUT THEM ‘MAKING THEIR MARK ON THEIR WORLD’ WITH LIGHT AND HOPE AFTER LIKE TWO STRAIGHT ALBUMS OF /DEPRESSION/. EVERYBODY GO HOME WE LOVE HEALING IN THIS HOUSE.”

AND THAT’S THE END FOLKS!!!! if you made it here thank you so much for reading my ramblings and i appreciate u so so much <3 i hope you learned something new about the gazette’s music (i sure did - it’s why i went on this marathon in the first place!!) and again i have a list of posts i might write (which will definitely be shorter than these) so! yeah! anyway!! it’s past 11pm and i have no more brain cells. thanks again love ya have a good day/night <3 <3

#the gazette #gazetto #ruki #uruha #aoi #reita #the gazette kai #kai #the gazette ruki #the gazette uruha #the gazette aoi #the gazette reita #why am i tagging this #anyway i just want to say #i tried to stream bts' new song while putting this together #but i physically COULD NOT #the dissonance was too much #anw i love dynamite it's such a great serotonin boost haha <3

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kinktae · 4 years ago

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hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

#ask

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espresso-cookie · 4 years ago

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Since Tumblr has a new pinned post feature, I guess I don't need the about pages that I have on desktop.

Hello!

My name is Ziron and I am a male (He/Him). I am 18 and this is my cookie run side blog! I mainly reblog posts, but I sometimes post original content on my art blog @tuscanaa. I am only SFW on any of my blogs besides the occassional swearing.

My all-time favorite cookies are Aloe Cookie, Hero Cookie, and Knight Cookie. They're all my comfort characters so I love to see art of them! :)

I have two cookie run AUs. My main AU is the Robopocalypse AU which can be found on @electric-alt-cookie ! It's about robots and it's kinda messy but feel free to look around! All the information on it is pretty old and I'd like to actually remake it someday without losing motivation.

Do not interact with me or any of my blogs if you are a proshipper, transphobic, and/or sexualize child-coded cookies.

ig that's pretty much it. I'm very chill so dont be afraid to talk to me! i dont bite. im just a bit nervous when it comes to responding to people

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quiet-in-the-book-hoard · 5 years ago

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Welcome post

Hello there, I’m Rae!

This blog is where I’ll be posting anything about my Arthurian project(s), and possibly any other writing projects I have going on.

In this post I’ll try to answer whatever questions I can come up with, but please don’t be afraid to message me with questions or comments, related to Arthurian content or not.

What kind of content will I be posting?

I plan to post drabbles, sketches, completed artworks, notes, pretty much anything that’s related to this project that has physical and/or digital form. This is also where I’ll reblog most of the Arthurian content that comes through my dash, as well as any writing prompts, advice or content from other creators I reblog. (though I’m sure a fair amount will still make it’s way to my main.

I do plan to keep all the content on here clean and safe. If anything contains swearing it will be tagged under ‘potty mouth’, any art or images with nudes or partial nudity will be tagged under ‘nudies’. Any other sensitive content will be under ‘nsfw’ and changes or updates to my tagging system will be posted separately as well as added to this post.

(Don’t expect the same from my main, though. There my tagging is only regular when it comes to writing resources-- most of which will be moved here.)

How often will I be posting original content?

At the moment I can’t really answer that. I’m as new to this as you are, so much of it will be learning as I go. I would like to post original content a few times a week, but I’m not making any promises and we’ll have to see how it goes.

What is my Arthurian project?

There’s a bit of a summary on this post of the three parts (which I call ‘The Merlin Arc’, ‘The Camelot Arc’, and ‘The Space Arc’), but I’ll try to explain better here and will likely put up a more comprehensive summary in the future.

It’s difficult for me to pinpoint when this idea began to bounce around my head, but I’d say it definitely picked up steam my Freshman year of high school, by which point I had begun taking notes and making a family tree. (That family tree has become a monster and it’s still not complete-- I get awed and slightly horrified looks when people glance over my shoulder to see what I’m working on.) A real kick-starter was when I decided to use the first arc as the basis for a school project where we had to make a podcast. (I think I still have the two complete episodes buried in my computer, I might post them someday. I’m actually rather proud of it-- quite the feat considering I’m not really proud of anything I made my Freshman year.)

I think it was about a year ago (but it may be more or less, my brain is terrible at judging time) when I decided to look deeper into Arthurian lore. I even joined a discord, the link to which can be found at @fuckyeaharthuriana, so go check that out if you’re interested. (Though I mostly just watch other people discuss-- I’m terrible at being regularly active on anything that isn’t Tumblr or Ao3.) Unfortunately, it doesn’t feel like that particular resolution has gotten very far. Between trying to plan out my future for the next four or five years and working to not fail in a school system where about 40-60% of my teachers aren’t prepared or willing to work with a special ed student, this may not have been the best time to take on a(nother) massive personal research project. Also, Arthurian lore is massive. t’s been growing and changing for fifteen centuries, plus there’s it’s relationship with Celtic and Welsh lore, not to mention how it interacts with real history-- so yeah, there’s a lot. I’m still very much a newbie to the Arthurian fandom-- there are people who have dedicated their entire lives to the subject and still don’t know nearly everything. But I’m nothing if not persistent, and there’s something thrilling in taking on something that could very well take my entire life.

Please note that The Arthurian Project may also be referred to as The Camelot Project or The Chronicles of Camelot, which was the name of that Freshman podcast.

What is my plan?

My plan is to eventually publish as a series of novels, though for a short period I had considered retaining the podcast format and for a while I had my heart set on a webtoon so that might change. Right now I’m continuing to write and develop.

I’m really just trying not to stress myself out about it too much since I know far too well that I freeze up and nothing gets done if I panic. This is something I’ve enjoyed doing and would like to continue to enjoy.

Other questions?

If there’s anything you want to know about me or my project that isn’t mentioned in this post, please message me! Even if you just want to say hi.

#arthurian #my arthurian #welcome post #arthurian project

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cryptoriascollectiblog · 6 years ago

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Monster High doll collecting Questionnaire - answered

Finally had time to take photos for this thing. Hope it’s worth the wait!

1) Introduce yourself and tell us how long you’ve been collecting Monster High dolls! Hey y’all! My name’s Tori and I’ve been collecting Monster High since I think...either the end of 2014 or early 2015. Before S5 of the webisodes aired.

2) How many MH dolls do you have?

Can I just say “a lot” and leave it at that? I kid I kid. I have like 27 Monster High dolls. That may not seem like a lot but I swear I just had 13 like four dolls ago...fingers crossed I didn’t forget to count anyone. That’s a sign of too many dolls :’D I also have two vinyl MH figures (Frankie and Draculaura) and a Rock Candy Draculaura figure.

3) Is Monster High your favorite doll line? Why or why not? Yes. Yes it is. Forever and ever. Took me a little while to realize it but as I accumulated dolls I realized most of my passion for collecting (as well as creative inspiration) revolved almost entirely around Monster High. That line is perfect for me in every way: tied to/inspired by classic Monsters, bold and edgy gothic fashion, a unique art style...I can’t tell you how much I’ve evolved as a creative individual since embracing my love of Monster High.

4) Who’s your favorite MH ghoul?

I wish Cupid had stuck around in MH a little longer. I would’ve loved an elaborate dress (and makeup) for her!

5) Favorite Manster? My favorite Manster is actually Andy Beast from Skull Shores. Since he never reappeared in more than background shots and Mattel never produced a doll of him I’ll go with this guy:

6) Do you own any dolls of your favorite ghoul and/or manster? How many? I own one Deuce doll, his Boo York doll. He came with Cleo and I love Boo York Cleo so I had to get both. I actually hate how the writing team handled Deuce and their relationship in the movie: as far as I’m concerned it isn’t canon. (He fell so far from Ghouls Rule! Definitely the best part of that movie including his friendship with Frankie.)

I own many Frankie and Draculaura dolls. Stay tuned for pics~

7) Do you own any playsets? If so which one(s)? If not, is there a reason?

I found this at a thrift store. It didn’t have any accessories though. Still, I’m glad I own it <3 Considering I photograph Draculaura more than any of my other dolls. I do wish I had another playset--either the catacombs or the Deadlux high school: they’d make such great backdrops for photography! Sadly I have no space.

8) Of the original main ghouls (including Ghoulia, Spectra and Abbey) which is your favorite? Got any dolls of them?

TA~DA! I’d actually also love to add Ghouls Rule Frankie to my collection but she’s not an immediate must-have.

9) Favorite character with only one doll release?

I know there were technically two but they’re essentially the same doll so it doesn’t count.

10) Character with too many dolls (in your opinion?) Uh...Toralei honestly. I don’t like her, I’ve never liked her but she pops up a lot more than I expected. Is this so there’s a matching bully in some of these sets or is she that popular and I’m the odd one out?

11) Any character you would’ve liked to see in a doll line that didn’t make it? (i.e. Lagoona in Sweet Screams or Draculaura in Power Ghouls, etc) Apart from another C.A. Cupid doll in like Dawn of the Dance or Dot Dead Gorgeous (can you imagine??) I would’ve loved to see Draculaura in Freak du Chic. I’m aware she had a Scarnival doll but that’s not the same thing. I want a doll with a similar design to her circus mini. I also think adding Lagoona to the “Scarily Ever After” line would’ve been neat (a la Little Mermaid, of course.) I know we saw her as a Mermaid in Great Scarier Reef” but I would’ve loved to see one with a fairytale twist.

Also more Sweet Screams dolls. Best line ever <3

12) Any ideas you would’ve liked to see in a doll line? An eighties glam-rock n roll band stylized after Jem and the Holograms but with a gothic edge. I’m not talking Fierce Rockers, I mean all of the core ghouls (with Ghoulia as like the manager) along with a better-designed Clawdeen. I didn’t mind what we got but she wasn’t “outrageous” enough for me.

Also a “vintage-themed” line as an homage to the ghouls’ famous parents (including Operetta.)

13) Is there a “grail” MH doll for you? If so do you own it? I feel like my grail dolls keep changing. For a long time it was Collector Draculaura, then OG draculaura, then Dawn of the Dance Draculaura...then Ghouls Rule Frankie and the whole Sweet Screams crew. I guess I can’t make up my mind ^^; Truthfully I have most of these now so I’m pretty content with my collection. I still want a couple older dolls (CLAWDEEN and maybe OG Lagoona) as I’ve said and I must have all the Sweet Screams dolls. Beyond that I’m good.

14) Thoughts on the cancelled Ever After High crossover? Okay so I will be forever annoyed Mattel didn’t wait to reboot everything until after the crossover. That said what I saw in the storyboards and posts floating around didn’t really impress me. There’s so much potential here and I feel like Mattel took the easiest route possible with it. If you’re going to crossover these two lines a) go ALL out with the designs and b) INVOLVE C.A. CUPID. Plus we’ll never know now if Astra Nova is the blue fairy/her daughter.

15) Thoughts on the 2016 reboot faces?

Why Mattel. Why was this necessary.

With Vampirina and now Super Monsters you really should’ve stuck with your older audience. Or saved the “Monster Family” line exclusively for said younger audience and just scaled down the original line to remind your older crowd, collectors included, why we love this line.

Heck, at this point I’d be happy with detailed collector-only lines released on like Amazon. A limited line is better than no Monster High at all, especially if it’s highly detailed and exceptionally spooky.

16) Thoughts on the 2016 “Monster Family” line?

So I like the idea behind this line but loathe the articulation. I held off buying Alivia and Kelpie for a long time because I hoped for better quality with later releases. Whoops. All of this said there was potential here to attract a younger crowd exclusively with a brighter and less-articulated family line. Siblings or not they could’ve avoided directly crossing over by merely mentioning the OG ghouls, instead focusing on friendships and relationships with their parents. That’s what I’d have done at least.

17) How bout the SDCC exclusives? What was your favorite? Do you own any? No and I wish I did ;-; While I wasn’t as impressed with them as the Ever After High exclusives I would’ve loved a Hexiciah doll. He’s actually my favorite “manster.” (Heck! You could’ve incorporated him into the crossover, being as he’s half fairy!) I should check ebay...

18) How about Amazon exclusives? I have two! The amazing and unique Draculaura who as far as I’m concerned is the best MH doll ever released and Zomby Gaga. The others never impressed me or lived up to the same quality promised in the first exclusive. I just couldn’t pass up a Lady Gaga monster!

19) Favorite Frankie Stein doll?

Aaah this is tough. All the Frankies I own are my favorite ^^; Sweet Screams, Freaky Fusion, her classroom doll I turned into a fearleading one, and while I don’t own her original doll (mine is the 2014 release) I love that one two. I also like Wave 2 Frankie and as I said Ghouls Rule. (Honestly though I thiiiiink Sweet Screams is number one...which is funny because I did not want her when I first started collecting. For whatever reason I thought I’d be happy with one doll of each character. Again I say: whoops)

20) Favorite Draculaura doll?

21) Favorite Clawdeen Wolf doll? Freak du Chic, her OG doll and I think Boo York. I’m so mad her outfit isn’t more stylish. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it to buy her and like one of her fashion packs...but that’s actually more expensive on Amazon than her original doll!

22) Favorite Cleo de Nile doll?

Originally Dawn of the Dance wasn’t a favorite but now that I own the doll I realize just how much she stands out (why wasn’t purple lipstick used more often???)

23) Favorite Lagoona Blue doll? Skull Shores, her OG doll and I think Dawn of the Dance. I’m not a big fan of the mohawk but I appreciate the detail in her outfit...plus I love blue makeup.

24) Favorite Ghoulia Yelps doll?

I also like Sweet Screams (although she’s my least favorite of the line) and Dawn of the Dance. Honestly maybe I should’ve set my sights on that whole line XD Except I’m not the biggest fan of the Clawdeen and Frankie.

25) Favorite Spectra Vondergeist doll? I’m not as familiar with Spectra’s dolls but I think either Dot Dead Goregeous or Ghouls Night Out.

26) Favorite Abbey Bombinable doll? Sweet Screams <3

27) Favorite Venus McFlytrapp doll? Zombie Shake

28) Favorite Rochelle Goyle doll? Zombie Shake

29) Favorite Operetta doll? Either or OG doll or Scaritage (the latter kind of reminds me of Lucille Ball for whatever reason)

30) Favorite Toralei Stripe doll? I’m really not a fan of her dolls (Orange is such a hard color to compliment correctly) but I do kind of like the stark design in her Fierce Rockers doll.

31) Favorite Jinafire Long doll? I’m not a big fan of her dolls either (I feel the same way about Green that I do Orange) so I’ll say her “New Scaremester” doll.

32) Favorite Skelita Calaveras doll? Scarnival! I’m still half-tempted to purchase this doll one day...provided I can find her!

33) Favorite Howleen Wolf doll? Her original doll. I wish she hadn’t switched to straight/pink hair! The orange stood out in a good way. Someday I hope I find her in a thrift store...

34) Favorite Twyla Bogeyman doll? Freak du Chic

35) What do you do with your dolls? (Display them, take photos of them, etc) I display them, sometimes change their poses and I take photos! I’m still an amateur at that but I’m learning as I go and I think I’ve improved!

36) Is Monster High the only doll line you collect? Why or why not? Sort of? It’s the only line I primarily collect now. I keep my eye on a couple others in case something catches my eye but like I said I’m low on space. Some of my other collections include: Ever After High (complete with maybe the exception of TriCastleon Lizzie Hearts one day) Super Heroes (this also includes high quality collectibles. One day I’d like Mystique but she’s only available on ebay and out of my price range right now. Plus I’ve found the production condition of each varies...) Disney Princesses/Frozen (sometimes I tell myself I should get Mulan for varying reasons but I’ve only taken photos of my Elsa doll so what does that tell you) Vampirina + Hotel Transylvania (This includes toys as well. HT seems to have wrapped up for the time being and as I’ve stated numerous times I’m fickle with Vampirina merchandise. Nonetheless both of these are technically ongoing) Equestria Girls (Done unless Hasbro releases a new Adagio Dazzle doll. Also fashion packs or a dAYDREAM SHIMMER DOLL COME ON--ahem-- I’m still planning to get rid of most of my older dolls.) I tried getting into Disney’s “Attractionistas” but only acquired two before they stopped selling in the parks. To be honest the quality dropped anyway and they’ve only got basic articulation. I’m not sure I’m going to keep the ones I have...we’ll see.

37) Do you still collect Monster High dolls? (i.e. scour the internet and/or secondhand stores?) Technically? I got three for Christmas and still poke my head in thrift stores now and then. For the most part though I’m essentially finished, I only say I keep going because there are a few older dolls I will definitely have someday.

38) There’s a lot of new Monster doll/toy lines out now: thoughts if any? H’okay so here’s the Earth--

jk jk I’m old XD

I make it a point to investigate new Monster lines: monsters are my life, nothing gives me greater creative fuel so it is my duty!

Right now there are technically three others out there although like I said, Hotel Transylvania seems to be out of stores. Don’t know if it’s still available on Amazon. The other two are Vampirina and Super Monsters. I’ve talked about them before--they’re largely for a much younger crowd, even younger than the MH reboot audience but there are some highlights for us older collectors if you love monsters as much as I do. I’m a big fan of world building and the spooky aesthetic: I love seeing how different franchises approach this. Character designs too: it can be a little tricky in the “family friendly monster” genre: a successful one balances spooky with well...friendly. I think Vampirina is most successful in this department. Super Monsters leans more towards the cutesy side. That said, I actually prefer their world set up over Vampirina. As well as the approach to being a monster which isn’t surprising since Vampirina is essentially one giant whimsical metaphor.

Super Monsters has only just joined the merchandise department which I know I’ve said before. I look forward to seeing how it evolves. Vampirina too: most of the toys, while cute, are more “toy” than doll and I’m not a big fan of gimmicks so I haven’t bought any of the singing dolls. Fingers crossed we get something a little more...elaborate? Even if it’s just a limited release (I do love the one figure/doll I have though! Best of the merchandise released so far <3)

Going back quickly to Hotel Transylvania...I maintain Jazware’s wasn’t the best choice of manufacturer. So many little things that needed a touch more thought. Although I will give them points for clothing quality and faceup!

39) And finally, what’s your favorite thing about Monster High? Can be past or present!

I think I’ve covered why I love it throughout this questionnaire: Monster High inspires me. It came into the world fresh and with a lot of creative power behind it. It turned so many heads and shook up the doll world as we know it. It brought monsters back into the light and that’s never gone away. If anything it’s blown up even more: that may not have happened without Monster High. Was the writing great? No. But the theme songs, the designs and especially the original lessons taught stood out on their own: Be yourself. Be unique. Be a monster.

Hell yeah, Monster High <3

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norcumii · 6 years ago

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Reblogged from the prior tumbl, originally posted 02/04/2016. Question submitted by @makiruz. Slightly reformatted to avoid a readmore cut and whatnot.

In Full of Sith, they always ask new guests how they got into Star Wars. And you know? That's a good question, how did you got into Star Wars?

HEH. Oooh, that’s a bit of a loaded question. So I’ll give you the short answer, which I suspect would fit the thing you mentioned what I haven’t heard of; and then because I’m a wordy bastard what overshares, the long answer which is more accurate and has content warnings for self harm and suicide.

SHORT ANSWER

It was the 80’s. I was young, in single digits, though I couldn’t tell you exactly what age. I was already dealing with an irregular sleep cycle, though all I knew was I had a flashlight, a pile of books near/on my bed, and a thick pound puppies duvet to read under.

I don’t know if I was in my room or on my way to/from the bathroom, but I could hear my parents watching something downstairs. Swooshy noises, a shrill screee, and some thwoom bzzts.

Of course I went downstairs.

I don’t know if it was episode 5 or 6. I’ve a fondness for 6, but carbonite left a HUGE fucking impression on me, and my parents have always approved of muppets, so Yoda.

I knew I loved it. I didn’t have any toys, though I think somewhere there was a print edition of A New Hope running around. I do recall multiple sleepovers at my grandmother’s place – a tiny house on acres and acres of woods – and she’d sometimes pull out Return of the Jedi and we’d watch it together on her tiny TV. Later on I’d be in bed, staring out at woods and trees that I knew, but seemed huge to a little kid, and I’d dream of Ewoks.

RotJ was Gram’s favorite, and for many years mine, too.

I like Ewoks.

VERY LONG ANSWER

TW: mental illness, depression, self harm, suicide, abuse

In late elementary, early middle school, my brother and I were basically reading ANYTHING we could get our hands on. He sometimes dove into books that didn’t interest me, so I’d read the first of something and then be bored and he’d keep going.

Star Wars EU was one of those. It was too grim for me. I think I didn’t run into any of the really good writers. It was all Han and Luke and Leia on the covers, so take that for what you will. There also was no Wookiepeia, so I was depending heavily on the writers’ abilities to convey things to someone very visual, yet pretty impatient with descriptions, so it never took.

I was in high school when The Phantom Menace came out. Mine honorable brother was off at college, so it was with great excitement on my part, and bemused tolerance on my parents’, that they and I went off to the theater.

On the one hand, I was dazzled.

On the other, there was Jar Jar. There was the fact that I hadn’t been impressed with the re-release of the OT – Han shot first. FITE ME. There was the fact that TPM didn’t feel like Star Wars, which was darker and grittier and…simpler to me.

So I wrote it off. Packed Star Wars away as “one of those things” that I’d been into, but felt like I was moving past. I was obsessed with Gargoyles, I was looking at going to college, and I would keep m’damn ewoks without needing to try to extend that vision with gungans.

College sucked. I went in, not sure if I wanted to go into English, for writing, or Psych, because I had always been what I’d now call The Mom Friend. I met a nice guy who tried, but things never really clicked between us, and there was an interesting bit that he was mad about Star Wars and insisted that I read the Rogue Squadron books.

That was a Good Decision. Dating him, not so much.

I had a huge assortment of Life Issues. Got into an abusive relationship that would end up lasting 14 years. Transferred schools. Got the fucking Psych degree, though literally only by the grace of a professor who didn’t want to see the kid not graduate just ‘cause she couldn’t numbers and I did go in and try. Talked to him and still couldn’t with the maths but the effort was there to bump me a few points above failing.

I was burnt out. I was depressed. I tried killing myself a few times – not very good at it, as you can see. Took up self-harm as a coping mechanism. Failed in the still never successful search for a decent therapist in Pittsburgh. Got a job slinging food, because needed some kind of income, and people without pressure was nice. The keeping on a schedule thing failed, leading to an average of 4 hours sleep a night. Losing contact with family and friends because I couldn’t stand the pressure of “how are you?” and “what’s going on in your life?” Clinging to Warcraft because repetitively farming was better than clawing open my back or neck again, and the people there were ok with some rando dropping out of sight on a dime, and only a persistent few had the grace and spirit to make it past some serious defensive issues of mine.

I stopped writing. Stopped caring about Gargoyles, stopped being able to see into that AU I’d made for myself of a crazy clan and the weird human who survived cancer with them.

Stopped going on IM, for the same reasons I stopped talking to people.

I still kept track of some folks via LiveJournal. A handful of the Gargoyles folks who were determined, gods know why and thank you, since I know several are here on the tumbles and I genuinely love you to bits.

I quit my job after five years, because enough was enough between the fact that it had all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship and I was fucking tired of being a manager without any actual authority, and the endless hamster wheel of hiring and people quitting because it was a nice, but highly dysfunctional place.

I missed the customers, though. Several of them are here too, and it’s kinda funny ‘cause I know in at least one case I talked to them about Star Wars. I still hope they’re not too shellshocked that I kinda went down the rabbit hole pretty deep.

Started getting more sleep. Not less anxiety, not less depressed. Tried out a few depression medications, with very mixed results.

Then one day @dogmatix came into the LJ area I still hung out in. Enthusiastically recommending to all and sundry that if there is even a shred of interest in Star Wars, THERE IS THIS THING YOU SHOULD READ.

She drew a Wookiee. That was a character?

I’d always liked Wookiees.

And I needed something to read.

Star Wars was one of those things, from back in the day before things went to shit. Low investment, since if I didn’t like it or didn’t care, then eh. Whatevs. Dogmatix was one of the Gargs holdouts still in my circle (or whatever it is that I was hovering at the edges of), and in the past I’d liked her recommendations more often than I disliked them.

I’m also endlessly weak to her art.

Wookiee.

So I did that thing. That so many of us here have done. It took me about 2 weeks to get through Re-Entry. It had trouble taking root in the depression, but Obi-Wan going crackers was something I could empathize with and appreciate.

There was the hope that had been missing from the EU novels I’d tried reading back in the day.

There was Wookieepedia, which meant I could stop and see what a Nautolan was. I had tabs open for DAYS so when someone named Adi or Gallia who were apparently the same person? I could see who that was. I got stupidly distressed that Abella didn’t have an entry, until I twigged and checked for a Chitanook, and holy shit I could never tell what character was going to crop up as canon, obscure EU character, or home brewed.

I honestly expected to set it aside, get updates as they happened, and gradually step away because that’s how things were going at the time.

But I still needed something to read, to stave off empty hours when my brain was too full of screaming.

On Ebon Wings. I’d loved The Crow when I’d seen it back in high school, and that story tapped into the powerful visuals and the lovely message I’d adored and in ways I still don’t quite understand it somehow validated that I could be mad and still be ok. Maybe. Maybe not now, but someday.

Maybe.

So I gave in and got a Tumbl. I’d been a stubborn holdout, regularly checking the same half dozen feeds daily because dammit, I don’t wanna go through the trouble and I was close to giving up on LJ and another journaly thing? That was stupid. But I wanted to follow Flamethrower and Dogmatix, and it made it infinitely easier to follow several blogs (and oh GODS one of those is a mutual and holy fuck I swear I screamed the day that happened and it’s still a high to realize).

Dogmatix wrote Möbius and Accidental Timeshare, wherein Venge goes universe hopping. That’s also a weakness of mine.

I’d been kvetching IRL about the treadmill and wanting something to watch, and someone mentioned in Dogmatix’s feed The Clone Wars – which conveniently was on Netflix. So I figured what the hell. I was disinclined to like clones – ‘cause yeesh, they’re the reason the Jedi all died, and yeah, ok, the Order was SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP, but.

I still had never seen Episodes 2 or 3.

I turned on the Clone Wars movie, and within ten minutes I nearly fell off the back of the treadmill due to crying.

THIS was the Star Wars of my youth. THIS was what I remembered. A little grim. Lots of quips.

That sound. Lightsabers igniting. A-wings rumbling overhead. Blasterfire, and that music.

I had to stop and calm down and for the first time in ages WRITE [, because I just had to ramble about how it all hit me in the feels]. I had no idea I’d missed this.

By the end of the movie I’d decided ok, I wanted more. Wasn’t sold on these clone fellas, and damned if I could tell one set of armor from another (this is ALSO due to the treadmill screen being calibrated to be a compromise of a very short person – me – and a very tall person, which means neither person gets a decent view but that’s not what the treadmill tv is for).

I’d been told there was an order to the episodes, but I didn’t care. Continuity is for those who think about the future, and I was still regularly suicidal.

So the first episode I watched was Yoda romping around a planet, playing with droids while three clone troopers tried to babysit his mad little ass.

They had me, all in one episode. I loved these guys. They had individuality, I could tell them apart by the voices (which is sometimes just as important to me as visuals) even if I couldn’t name them, and the personalities –

They were loyal. Their primary concern was old batty Yoda which I had adored as a child because MUPPETS. They were willing to die to keep him safe and there was this lovely reciprocity in taking care of each other and all of them, clones and Jedi alike were doomed to extinction and I don’t think I knew yet HOW the clones were except they weren’t in the OT so there was shit going down.

Tragic figures, loyal found family, incredible voice acting, Batty Old Yoda who OH YEAH FUCKING KICKED SO MUCH ASS I COULD NEVER GET ENOUGH.

I wanted to keep those three clones. I was willing to keep them all.

Final blow, that knocked me into the fandom so hard I’ll be surprised if I ever leave?

THIS.

The origins of Balance. This is the post that started a simple notion, to try to write something when I’d gone….anywhere from 7 to 10 years of not writing A SINGLE. DAMNED. THING of substance – and that was after thinking I might try to get a degree related to it.

Darth Wraith was a tentative idea. I was scared @deadcatwithaflamethrower would be irked I wanted to play in her sandbox (oh my gods I was inserting myself into a conversation with her this amazing person who wrote blindingly well and so damn much and how the FUCK was I daring to speak up about a silly half DREAM I’d had because once again I couldn’t sleep).

Then, because I was trying to break out of the depression, the cycles of mental ill health, and if I was on this tumbls thing, fuck it, I’d try the IM thing again.

I’d been gone long enough that pretty much no one on my contact list was still there. That…was ok. There wasn’t the pressure.

And Dogmatix popped on, asking if I wanted to share details about this Sith Qui-Gon thing.

I had A SCENE. ONE. SCENE. And she was spinning it off into this EPIC, which at first I was gleeful because she had neat ideas and I couldn’t wait to see what she would do with it and then wait, she’s not talking about writing it herself, this is more about something WE could work on.

Thank gods it was IM, because I had a little panic about commitment to a project when I regularly was sure I wasn’t going to see tomorrow and if I didn’t wake up one morning that’d be MORE than ok.

Still. There was that itch. The visuals in my brain. The characters I’d started to like in Flamethrower’s universe, which had formed my mental voices for them.

The only sound in my head for so long was just screaming.

Writing down that scene in Knock On Effect, where Venge meets Wraith – that felt good. It never changed much from the first draft to what was posted. The rest grew, and quickly. It was clear if we were doing this, then there were multiple stories, spanning in universe years.

And then there were spinoffs. Wonderful ideas and plots spiraling away from this one notion, and gods I wanted to write about those glorious clones.

How’d I get into Star Wars?

Chance. One strange little step at a time, and a bunch of miracles and horrors that kept me bleeding but not dying. Damn good fic. The kindness of friends. The generosity of strangers.

The tragedy of a once great order of space monks, and their allies-forced-to-be-betrayers clones.

One little picture, of Qui-Gon Jinn with Sith eyes.

#tumblageddon #reviving from the purge #star wars #tw #self harm #suicide #depression #mental illness #abuse #emotional #Norcumi has Opinions again #deadcatwithaflamethrower #dogmatix #i did not expect to cry when writing this #star wars saved my life #literally

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alo-piss-trancy · 6 years ago

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Hello, you have been identified as An Awesome Writer™! Congrats, you rock! So that all of your readers can shower you with some extra love today, please tell us your favorite five (or as many as you want) stories of yours and why you like them and then send this to another five fic authors you think deserve this title! ❤

Gee, I wonder who this could be from? c; (Thank you so much I love you!)

Okay so I’m doing seven because as you all know from my zillion ships and characters I’ve written for/screamed about, I’m incapable of picking a specific favourite lmao. But it’s still less than half my fics so it’s fine. Also none of these are ranked, I enjoyed them all equally tbh. (Forgive my lack of heart emojis RIP, I’m on desktop for this one)The Troubles Rain Can Bring (Pers/ona 5) : Of course I have to bring this one up, since it’s the one I consider my first legit omo fic (Jade was my first foray, but since it’s unfinished and I picked a dead fandom specifically so I had less chances of getting mean comments, I consider it more of a practice run). This was my first time writing for a very active and current fandom, so it was really intimidating, but I was also really excited to participate in creating for a game I was so passionate about! Also that fic was just a total labour of self-indulgence and love (excuse for fluff with my otp? combining all my fav tropes? Gratuitous Akira Suffering? Including the others for fun towards the end? I was in hog heaven!) While I definitely can find parts where I could improve the writing now, I still love it for all of the effort I put into it, and I got such a lovely response that made me feel really welcome on ao3, the omo tag on tumblr, and in the p/5 fandom! It’s kind of nostalgic for me, even if it was only written like a year and a half ago, haha.All Bottled Up (Dang/anRonpa: THH) : I’m just really proud of this fic, and I had so much fun writing it! I think it’s probably one of the few fics I’ve written that was a completely smooth ride of inspiration and fun from start to finish, without any hitches in the writing process or me getting bogged down with other projects. Seriously I think I hammered the entire thing out in like a week or two lmao. I love Naegiri so much, and the idea was a treat to work with even if it’s some of the most cliché omo scenarios, it was just a nice relaxing bit of indulgence! Also I got to dig into Kirigiri’s character, which I didn’t get to do in my other fic of her (since that one was so short and oddly styled). My favourite bit was probably getting to mess with the drawbacks of her gloves/hand injuries, and of course those fluffy bits with Naegi! Getting Your Feet Wet (Pers/ona 5) : This one, hoo boy. Definitely one of my longest fics, and while at the time when I posted it I kind of hated half the stuff in it (just because I had been nitpicking it for so long lmao), now that time has gone by I can genuinely say I love it and it’s probably one I’m proudest of. Not only was it my first full dive into snut (and I’d like to think it isn’t too shabby), but I got to work with a rarepair that I’ve been intrigued by, with two of my fav npcs from the game! So fun times all around! It was great to imagine how Sae might have changed and opened up since the game’s ending, and what Tae could do to help draw her out of that strict shell while still making her feel secure and comfortable. Also I got to include pet/p.lay which is something I’d been dying to write since I started that account, so bonus points for that! And I got a way better response than I was expecting, so that was nice!A Sinking Ship (Pers/ona 5) : ((Okay I swear I still plan to update the other half of this one someday soon, I literally have the draft halfway done I just haven’t been able to get it finished to the level I want.)) Anyways, I have a soft spot for this one because 1. It’s Makoto, and you all know how much I adore her, 2. I finally got to write some legit palace battling and shenanigans, which I really enjoyed and want to include more of in future projects, 3. I literally put so much detail into this one, from the setting descriptions to the dialogue and going out of my way to include the entire team interacting with her instead of just one or two chars, and I’m giving myself a fat pat on the back for that. And then throwing in actual anxiety and plot issues instead of just making her desperate for the sake of it, which may have been ambitious (hence why it’s kind of on a cliffhanger right now while I finish the comfort half), but I really just wanted her to have one of my best fics possible because Makoto deserves the best (of the worst suffering oops sorry bby). Also did I mention The Shumako Bridal Carry scene? That was absolutely necessary to include okay? Also there’s gonna be quality Shumako bonding in the second chapter so I’m biased to love this in advance. Basically I love this one specifically because it’s my own self-indulgent bullshit, which is kind of every fic I write but this is definitely one of The Most Indulgent. I also consider this one my very best omo fic in terms of the actual omo writing/content, even if it’s long AF, because at least you’re getting desperation and wetting for pretty much the entire thing, even when other stuff’s going on around it. So yeah I guess if you don’t mind a cliffhanger ending (for now) and have a decent knowledge of p/5, this is the one I recommend reading!Conundrums Lead to Collapse (Doc/tor Who - 13th Doc/tor) : I really liked writing this one because of the whump, actually. I rarely have excuses to injure characters for Even Worse Omo Suffering/Comfort, so the fact that I could write based on a canon injury was the perfect excuse! Also I’m just weak for the 13th Doctor so I’m always down for omo of her, but it was also a fun excuse to explore her character. We hadn’t gotten to see her angry or broken down at the time it aired, so I enjoyed getting to play around with how things affect her when she does finally lose the positive attitude and confidence, and bringing a character as powerful (and semi immortal I guess) as The Doctor to the floor was just a fun exercise. Also it’s kind of hard to find whump fics focused on female characters that don’t involve a certain kind of violence (or just female whump in general actually), so I just really enjoyed using all of the fandom tropes I’ve read over the years in those fics to create something for those of us who wanted it the other way around! I would also like to say this one gave me the excuse for Found Family Coddling, everyone comforts and helps her towards the end which is perfect for my fluff-craving heart after all of the angst.Holding More than Cards (Ka/kegurui Compulsive Gambler) : Oh boy, I’ll be honest the reason I love this is purely because it’s pretty much the only fic for this pairing that I’ve found for my tastes and I had to make it myself dang it (They basically had a whole two episodes where Midari creamed herself for Yumeko and they had that scene where they held each other’s faces staring into their eyes, HOW is no one jumping on this ship??? There’s literally 5 fics total on ao3 I’m not joking). I really enjoyed getting to dig into Midari’s characterization for this one, especially since I had such a tiny bit of canon to go off of and had to set it after the anime’s s1 developments. I got to write Yumeko being a dom and dropping her cheerful attitude too, which was really satisfying. Also while this doesn’t have full on snut in it, it was the closest I’d come at the time, so that was an interesting challenge. This was a rare chance to indulge in unhealthy ships too (bc literally every ship in that show is unhealthy on some level lmao) so that was entertaining to try and navigate.Capture the Fly with Nectar Sweet (The Ch/illing Adventures of Sabrin/a) : I just posted this one recently but I’m adding it anyways, because I had an absolute blast working on it. It’s so starkly different from anything I usually write, because you all know I love close friendships and found family and all that quality fluff and caring. But instead this one was me staring at my laptop thinking of how I want to tell this character to go to hell, except that would be pointless because that’s literally where she came from. I really got to stretch my wings outside my comfort zone and dig around in the dark, manipulative side for a while, and it was so much fun to study one of my favourite villains (anti-hero? she’s such a mysterious mess idk how to classify her) and her relationship with Sabrina. I also got to attempt writing desperation from the outsider’s perspective instead of the victim’s, and while I feel like I definitely still have room to improve with that, it was a nice break from the way I usually write my omo fics. I also got to shift around my writing style for this one, using words like ‘betwixt’ (which I love but never get to use lol) and using a bunch of metaphors and similes to showcase how Madam views Sabrina. This is probably the fic that makes it obvious that Language Arts was my favourite subject in school and that I’m Extra when it comes to predator/prey comparisons lmao. (Note: Please read the tags on this one, the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat warning applies here.)

I actually don’t know who else to send this to that I haven’t already, since like half the omo tag has vanished and I’m blanking on usernames, so if any of y'all are reading this post and you write fics: consider this me asking you to do it so I can hear about your fics! :D

#bear gets a letter #omorashi #fandomo #fictomo #ao3fic #might as well tag that since I have all the links here lmao

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docholligay · 6 years ago

Text

Thanks for kind words behind the cut

sphinxfeathers replied to your post

“I’m a little nervy about the con/my life right now, so if anyone had...”

Your stories always make my day. Having been a fanfic reader and writer for many years, I’ve seen a lot of people come and go in the fandom and your writing is by far the most amazing and emotional. I hope someday that you write a book and I will be able to enjoy it.

Thank you so much, this is so kind

verbforverb replied to your post

“I’m a little nervy about the con/my life right now, so if anyone had...”

Your fiction always makes me smile. Your non-fiction always makes me think. Your eye for detail in both is incredible, and I find the way you describe the craft of writing incredibly interesting and useful as well. And writing aside, you're kind of an amazing role model and also hilarious, A+ would yell at about eurovision again.

Thank you so much and I swear if the UK ever wins eurovision (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I’m going to be there and we’ll figure out a way to go.

@themiscyra1983 said:

Your canons have supplanted actual Sailor Moon and Overwatch canons for me, and did so BEFORE J.K. Rowling finally drove me into full on ‘death of the author is a valid practice we should all as fans adopt like crazy’ mode, so that’s the regard I hold you in, and I’m sorry I can’t come to Toronto but I’m sure you’ll be awesome.

Thank you so much! I love so much, because I am vain, when people tell me I *am* Overwatch to them, and this is the first time I’ve ever heard it about sailor moon and I am THRIVING.

@skylineofspace said:

I find your honesty and integrity incredibly admirable, and your advice and example has helped me a lot to be better and more satisfied in my own life. Have fun at the con, and be there very slightly nicer Michiru we all need.

ahaha, THANK YOU. THis was so sweet.

rhiorhino

replied to your post

“I’m a little nervy about the con/my life right now, so if anyone had...”

Idk if like this is weird or cheesy or w/e but I really look up to you a lot, as like a writer and a person, and I've gotten a lot more confident pushing myself to talk about wlw and stuff just from saying "my friend doc and her wife jill" "my buddy, her wife is a vet and-" y'know, stuff like that. It's really helped me push myself to be more open, through you kind of? I really appreciate your frankness and willing to be open about hard truths and what's *needed* Not just what's *wanted* I’m like a super anxious and “shaky pink thing” in general but just being in chat with you and jet and everyone, y'all were immediately welcoming and funny and I really enjoyed myself tonight. It was super fun!!

No,this isn’t cheesy, this is LOVELY, thank you so much! And you were a delight!

@notesfromtheidiotbox

I enjoy your writing and bought Overwatch partially because of them. I adore your fried chicken recipe. And I enjoy that you take no shit from anyone including yourself. You intimidate me, but I still like seeing your thoughts on things even if I haven’t heard or, or even have any interest in them. You are truly unique. The hard-drinkin’, straight-shootin’, fast-writin’, femme-as-hell-but-tough-as-nails, Lesbian Queen O’ the West. -The one, the only Doc Holligay! Yeehaw

THANK YOU SO MUCH also that part made me laugh so hard ahah.

@sittingoverheredreaming Your writing had honestly made me such a picky reader, you’re one of the only authors anywhere that has a style I’m super into (I love how artful you are and how much your phrasing and word choices make me think) AND content that I’m starving for. There’s so few works that make me feel the way your fics do. I’ve had maybe a handful of novels and short stories ever even come close. You’re amazing, as a writer and as a person.

I feel so weird about whether I’m a good writer or not, and this is so wonderful and affirming andlovely. Especially since I know you studied writing too!

madegeeky

replied to your post

“I’m a little nervy about the con/my life right now, so if anyone had...”

You're one of the most talented writers and brilliant public speakers I've ever had the honor of interacting with. Listening to you speak about something your passionate about is mesmerizing in a way I've never experienced before. I could listen to you talk about the things you love for hours.

Thank you so much this was so kind!!

I am also, and will forever be, angry that you made me love Tracer and her Winston so completely and utterly. Because that’s just how good your writing is: you dragged me kicking and screaming into a fandom I don’t even play the game for. And I’m so happy you did because I love Tracer and Winston and this world you built. But I’m also still angry. ;)

AHAHAH YES YESSSSSSSS THIS IS MY LARGER GOAL IN LIFE (and her Winston, god do you know how to kill me)

Your writing is so beautiful and so glorious. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but you have a way with images that’s breathtaking. Your fics are so amazing and intricate and beautiful that I don’t read them when I’m sick because I’m scared I’ll miss something and I don’t want to miss anything. I currently have a while backlog and I’m so very excited for when I can finally catch up.

Thank you so much and thank YOU for always leaving such amazing comments.

You’re one of the bravest people I know. Sometimes, when I know I need to do something but it seem too big and too scary, knowing that you’d do it even if you felt the same way helps me get it done. I admire your gumption tremendously.

WELLNOW I HAVE TO BE BRAVE AND DO THIS DON’T I

@taperwolf I like your writing: fiction, nonfiction, and scribbleage. You’re consistently interesting, entertaining when you want to be. I think of you when I think of good people.

Thank yoU!!

@paksenarrion-reader you taught me a lot, and pushed me to seek out more knowledge. Thank you for that.

Thank you!!

@shavedjudomonkey You’re a person I look up to. I don’t always share your opinions, but you’ve helped show me that that’s okay, and if I’m going to believe the things I do, I need to be willing to step up and defend them.You’ve also encouraged me as a writer. Thank you.

No, cause if you agree with me then you’re stll not doing your research and thinking about stuff! I totally WANT you to come to your own conclusions and disagree sometimes!! Thank you!

@Mizunosakura You’re an amazing writer, whether it be non-fiction, fanfiction, or commentary, they’re all amazing to read and really engaging. You’re honestly a super interesting person and I always love all your posts even if I suck incredibly when it comes to commenting.

Thank you so much!

@keyofjetwolf Whoever bid on those Metallica cassette tapes hasn’t paid yet, and I’m pretty sure now they aren’t going to, which means I made less than ten bucks on about thirteen hours of feverish hard work. That comes out to about 77 cents an hour, but doesn’t factor in the fifty cassette tape shipping boxes that I bought in an act of both obscene optimism and critical overestimating. In conclusion, I spent half a day peddling my garbage to no one and paid for the privilege, THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

Everyone was very sweet but you took the prize for something that made me laugh no less than every single one of the three times I read it.

#sphinxfeathers #verbforverb #rhiorhino #madegeeky #tumblr replies is being REAL garbage so apologize for the weird formatting #thank you all so so so muh

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