#i will not pain you all with the other possibilities because law has been hurt ENOUGH

[cozage]

Hi! :)feel free to decline this if it’s not up your ally or you don’t really have anything else to say about it but, I was very interested when you mentioned law having anxiety about if the amber lead disease would be passed down to his kid, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to write a little offshoot of that (hcs/short fic/whatever format you want) about law and his partner trying to ease each other’s anxieties about it and just how he’d handle it in the long term plus maybe if it wasn’t able to be told if they had it or not before it was born seeing Law finally get to see the kid and his reaction him it having/not having it (it’s up to you what kind of route you’d want to take with that) but anyways it’s just a suggestion because I was really interested once you brought the idea up of how Law would handle something he’s probably tried to block out of his mind since he was young

The post that anon is talking about for reference

Guess what Anon? This is literally the best ask I’ve ever gotten because I think about it ALL the time and all the possible outcomes of that one little thing and I will literally never shut up about it. So here’s some fun* ideas on how I think Law would respond to bringing a child into the world. 

*these are not fun they're so angsty it's not even funny

Transmission

Characters: female reader x Law

Word Count: 1k

CW: talk of abortion, talk about loss of pregnancy, talk of fatal diseases, lots of pregnancy angst, (happy ending though if that makes up for it!)

He runs a scan and finds out he has a lot to worry about. You can see the panic on his face and you know your fear was not misplaced. You’re pregnant.

His shoulders suddenly feel so heavy. Like a weight he is forced to carry, no matter how many times he tries to cast it aside. 

He doesn’t tell you about the burden. Not yet. You all talk through your options together, and you consider them heavily. You weigh the pros and cons of each option for days, but he doesn’t ever try to sway you one way or another. 

In fact, he becomes very distant. He locks himself away in the study, turning through a new book everyday. You can enter his study whenever you wish, but he barely acknowledges your entrance.

One day you’re talking about it with him, trying to decide what to do. It had only been about a week and a half since you found out, and Law’s cold shoulder has impacted you a bit. “What do you want to do?” you ask him.

He doesn’t respond. His nose is buried in a book, and you realize he hasn’t been listening the entire time. You suddenly burst into tears, upset with him and his coldness to you recently. “Just get it out,” you cry, punching at your stomach with your fists. “Get it out of me so we can get back to normal again.”

He looks up, surprised by your sudden outburst. “Hey, Y/N-ya! Stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!” He jumps up and grabs your wrists to keep you from harming yourself further. 

“I’m tired of being alone!” you cry out, tears streaming down your face. “You can’t even look at me anymore! I just want things to be normal again.”

He’s staring at you, unsure of what to do or how to respond. He guides you over to a chair, still holding your wrists, and sits you down in it. He sits across from you. “I need to tell you a story,” he whispers, and he has your full attention.

He tells you the story of Flevance, and of the Amber Lead Disease he inherited. How his entire city disappeared in a matter of years. How there was no cure. How he was the only survivor.

You had known a piece of that story. Law had told you about Corazon and that he had helped secure the Op-Op fruit for Law to find a cure for his disease. But you hadn’t known the rest of the tragedy. 

“I’m scared,” he admits, his voice quivering. “Amber Lead Disease is passed down from generation to generation, and shortens the lifespan each time it’s passed on. My sister got sick when she was six. I was supposed to die before I was fourteen.”

“But you got better. You’re okay now,” you reassured him. But you could feel the panic growing inside of you now too. Of course he didn’t want to talk about a child with this kind of trauma weighing on his mind.

“It doesn’t mean that the symptoms are gone. Each generation, the life expectancies go down at least ten years. What if…” he hesitates, and you can feel his grip around your wrists tighten as he squeezes his eyes shut. “What if our child dies before it’s even born?”

You can feel his pain and his sorrow emitting from him. You lean forward and wrap him in a hug, holding him tight. You can hear him choke back a sob, and you allow yourself to cry too. Both of you just hold each other, letting all of your fear and anger and sorrow wash away with your tears. 

Both of you start to calm down after a very long cry. “I want to keep it,” you say finally. “I want to try.”

You feel Law nod, and his body relaxes just a minuscule amount. At least he won’t be alone this time. At least he’s cured it before. 

During the pregnancy, he’s more stressed than you. It’s a weird relationship having Law as both your boyfriend and your doctor, and sometimes you have to remind him which hat he’s wearing. 

He’s always giving you vitamin supplements in the morning and making sure your diet is perfectly balanced. Sometimes you go to eat something and he starts with “as a pregnant woman, you shouldn’t-” but a quick glare will usually quiet him down.

You have checkups and he runs scans on your body at least once a week. There are nights he can’t sleep, his mind riddled with what if’s, and he has to do a quick scan just to make sure you and baby are still okay. He breathes a sigh of relief each time your scan comes back clean, but he doesn’t let himself get too comfortable. 

Both of you have your days. Some days you’re over the moon, others you feel like your lives are ending. It’s a hard middle to find. Both of you typically stick to the extremes and manage to mellow each other out while also validating each other's fears.  

He cries when he finds out it’s a girl. 

He cries even harder when you offer up a name. Cora.

His devil fruit ability makes the childbirth thing insanely easy. The “pain of childbirth” was a foreign concept to you for the most part. 

He counts Cora’s fingers and toes, and then counts them again. 10 fingers, 10 toes. She’s perfect. Just looking at her, Law already knows he would die for her. 

He wraps his sweet baby girl up in a blanket and passes her off to you. He brushes your hair and kisses your face while you hold her. He’s resisting the urge to run every scan he can think of. You were adamant that the three of you needed a few minutes together as a family before he went full doctor on you both. 

Finally you hand Cora off to him. “Go ahead, I know it’s driving you crazy.” He scans her, and finds her completely healthy. No Amber Lead Disease, no sickness, not even a slightly abnormal temperature. Law holds Cora close to his heart and he weeps. For his family, for himself, and for the new generation that’s finally free.

[mapis-putellas]

Trust in me

Pairings: Natasha x you

Words: 2418

Warnings: none that i know of

Summary: Natasha gets injured on a mission, and as a result, allows you to carry her for the first time.

It had been a complete accident. Something she knew could have been avoided had she only been paying attention. One second, her widow bite had attached itself to the metal grating, and she was falling with the knowledge she'd land safely on her feet. The next, she'd hit the concrete with a thump, and a cry of pain she didn't even know she was capable of emitting had slipped from her lips without permission as her hands clutched the gravel below.

It hurt. Oh god did it hurt. But she had no time to really take it in before she found herself being hauled to her feet by non other than Clint. He'd all but dragged her back to the quinjet, and Natasha had collapsed onto one of the seats doing everything possible to swallow back the sobs she knew were desperately trying to escape.

She didn't know what happened. She doesn't know what went wrong, even now after making it back to the Avengers compound. She'd fallen from further heights before. More times than she could even count and every single one of them she'd come out completely unscathed. Not a single bruise on her.

She stares down at the bruised and swollen appendage with a look of distaste on her face, eyes stinging with tears she refuses to let fall. How could she have been so stupid?

You rush into the compound slightly winded, skin clammy with sweat as you head straight towards the medbay. You'd been in the middle of dinner when a phone call from Clint had halted you mid task. It was Natasha. She'd fallen and had hurt herself in the process. She wouldn't let anyone near her, not even the doctor on call.

You hadn't waited for further details before you were grabbing your things and scrambling out of the house. Natasha was hurt. She was alone and you had to get to her. You were pretty sure you break several laws doing so in fact.

You hadn't been dating for long. A little over six months perhaps so the honeymoon phase was still very much in progress. You spent practically every waking moment together with the exception of missions and such, and you knew full well you'd never loved anyone as much as you'd loved her.

That very L word had yet to be spoken aloud however, because despite how much you clearly adored one another, she was still Natasha, and Natasha's walls were built so high you sometimes feared you'd never be able to tear them down. There were moments though. Moments when you see that soft gaze and hoped that one day, she'd let you have her completely.

When the medbay door comes into view, you hasten your pace slightly until your hand was pushing on the handle and you were stepping inside. The sight that greets you all but breaks your heart. There Natasha was, sat on the large medical bed clad in only her tactical suit that was half off and tied around her waist. Her leg was elevated in front of her, bruised and swollen beyond recognition and your stomach all but clenches at the sight.

What breaks you further was the look on her face. She looked small, so scared, and when those green irises meet your own, they immediately become shiny with tears. Instinct alone seemingly has her reaching for you, and you don't hesitate to comply with her silent plead. You cup her cheeks first, thumbs tenderly grazing over the soft skin. That seems to be permission enough alone for the dam to break, the first hot tear of what you suspect would be many streams down her cheek leaving a wet trail in its wake.

"Oh baby, it's okay." You murmur as you bring her into your arms, her hands immediately scrambling for purchase and clutching the material of your shirt at the small of your back. You cup the back of her head, pressing your lips against the slightly tangled and sweaty tresses. "You need to let them look at you okay?" You find yourself somewhat pleading as you run your hand up and down her back, but Natasha simply let's out a choked sob as she shakes her head.

Her hands tighten around you, almost as though she was terrified you were going to push her away. In a desperate attempt to sooth her fears, you tighten your arms around her trembling frame and take a small step closer to the bed. It was a few minutes later before you dare to speak again.

"Baby, you're hurt. Please." But Natasha's almost silent cries seem to grow slightly in volume, and you decide it would probably be best to give her a few moments. You continue with the gentle ministrations against her back, your lips pressing continues tender kisses against the top of her head and to any part of her body you could reach from your current position. Her body soon becomes still, and you crane your neck slightly to peek down at her.

Her eyes were red and bloodshot, nose tinged red and cheeks soaked with tears. Feeling your own throat constrict at the sight of seeing your girlfriend so upset, you give her hip a gentle pat to get her attention. In response, you get an almost timid hum of acknowledgment.

"Would you let them fix you up if I held you?" This wouldn't be the first time Natasha had allowed you to hold her. In fact, behind closed doors, she was quiet the snuggle bug contrary to popular belief. It had taken a while for her to get to the point though. When you first started dating, simply resting a hand on her arm without warning appeared to be too much, and she'd often flinch away without really meaning to.

She'd always apologise though, eyes shy as she'd cautiously reach for your hand to encourage it back to her body, and you'd comply with her silent implication, using the pad of your thumb to trace gentle circles on her skin making sure your hand remained within her line of sight at all times.

It took many months if trial and error, mainly on your side, to get her to the point of being comfortable enough with affection, and now, a part of her body always has to be touching your own, and she was always the little spoon when it came to cuddling.

Her favourite position, however, was laying completely on top of you with her head nestled just beneath your chin. Her legs would curl up on either side of your hips, and she'd spend hours in your arms if you let her, hands clinging to your shirt whilst your own would slip beneath her sweater and simply rest on the bare skin at the small of her back.

Outside closed doors however, she couldn't be more different. The most she accepted was hand holding and the occasional kiss on the cheek or forehead, and even then it wasn't often. It was why you were so wary of asking despite the fact you knew it was the only thing that would sooth her.

Natasha remains silent for a while, so long in fact you feared you may have said the wrong thing. But then you feel it. A timid nod against your chest, and you knew then she must be in some pretty horrific pain.

"Okay, hang on tight angel." You murmur after pressing another kiss to the top of her head, coaxing her arms to wrap around your neck as opposed to your waist. Once you were sure she was hanging on, you slip an arm beneath her legs and situate the other around her waist. You then, for the first time in your six month relationship, lift your girlfriends body up into your arms.

It was no secret that Natasha was petite, and it was also no secret that should she allow it, you could lift her with absolutely no issues. But Natasha wasn't the kind of person who lets herself be coddled to that extent, even behind closed doors, so you take a few moments to relish in the feeling of holding her like this knowing you may never get the chance to again.

She was lighter than you anticipated she'd be, and the way she clings to you has you falling all the more in love with her. A few quiet moments pass before you turn and gently ease yourself down onto the spot she'd just vacated, the red head sat comfortably on your lap with her legs sprawled out on the bed next to you. Her upper body twists slightly as her arms curl up in between both your chest, and she hides her face in the juncture of your neck before you could really get a good look at the current emotion on her face.

With the knowledge of how hard this must be for her, you allow her to remain hidden in her little safe space as you murmur gentle words of encouragement into her ear, one arm holding her close to you whilst the other rubs gentle circles across the length of her back.

It was only after her nod of consent a few minutes later do you finally allow the doctor into the room, and just like you had suspected, her ankle was well and truly broken. Natasha doesn't utter a single word as her ankle was casted, nor when asked about her pain on a scale of one to ten so you take it upon yourself to answer for her and listen to whatever instructions the doctor throws your way.

An hour later, it was all over, and it was just you and Natasha again. Your lips quirk up into a gentle smile when she finally peaks her head out of your neck, letting out a quiet huff at the sight of the massive, bulky cast on her leg. It went from her toes all the way up to just below her knee. She turns to you, a pout on her lips, and you tenderly lean up to kiss it away earning yourself a shy, yet genuine smile.

You secure both hands against her hip and give her a gentle squeeze before speaking.

"Are you ready to head home?" The pad of your thumb slips beneath her tank top, grazing gently against the bare skin of her hipbone.

Natasha doesn't hesitate to nod her head, a soft exhale slipping from her lips and hitting the skin of your neck leaving a pleasant sensation in its wake. You give her another soft squeeze before beginning to rise to your feet with her in your arms with the intention of grabbing a wheelchair.

"Me too. Let me to grab-"

Before you could even begin to lift your butt from the bed, a small no slips from Natasha's lips prompting you to look up at her up at her with your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Baby, you can't walk." You regretfully inform, but Natasha shakes her head again. Her lips part, and you wait for her to tell you the problem but not a single syllable seems to want to escape her lips. She lets out a deep, slightly frustrated sigh before trying again, clutching the material of your shirt in her hands in what you knew was her attempt at keeping you sat. You comply, knowing that whatever she was trying to tell you must be important if it was so hard for her to say,

"I.." she trails off, letting out another sigh before shaking her head, "No wheelchair." She mumbles, her voice holding an air of finality despite its quiet tone.

"Nat," you try, but she cuts you off with another shake of the head.

"No. No wheelchair. I want...will you..."

"Will I what baby?" You soften your tone slightly, giving the side of her thigh an encouraging squeeze.

Natasha looks down at her lap, her quiet, almost bashful voice filling the room just moments later.

"Carry me."

It was said so unsurely, so hesitantly you feel your throat constrict with the onslaught of tears. Pushing them back, you reach up and cup both her cheeks before pressing a gentle kiss to the spot just between her eyebrows.

"Of course I'll carry you, angel." You reassure, and Natasha flushes a light shade of red when your lips move down to meet her own in a tender kiss. That doesn't stop her from reciprocating however, and she does so without hesitation, her hands rising to cling to the shirt situated either side of your waist.

After a few moments, you force yourself to pull away knowing you'd never make it back home if this were to continue. Natasha pouts, and you can't help but playfully nip at her bottom lip as you rise to your feet with her cradled in your arms. That earns you a quiet giggle, and your stomach flutters at the sound as you somehow find it within you to temporarily set her down so you could pack up her things.

Once everything was stored away in her ops bag, you temporarily set it aside before heading back over to Natasha. You bend with the intention of lifting her up again the same way you had before, but before you could so do, she leans forward and wraps her arms around your neck.

Your hands rest on her sides for only a moment before her intentions become clear, and with a soft kiss to her neck in acknowledgment, you slip a hand beneath each of her thighs and lift her slight frame up into your arms. You bounce her up slightly before bringing both arms down to rest underneath her behind, easily supporting her weight in your arms as you bend to grab the discarded ops bag and throw it over your shoulder.

As silly as it sounded, she fit absolutely perfectly in your arms, and you knew for a fact  holding her like this was going to be your new favourite thing. Her chest was flush against your own, arms secure around your shoulders as she buries her face into your neck. You smile at the feeling of the tip of her nose grazing against your skin.

"Ready baby?" You give her behind a few soft pats, and all Natasha was able to give you was a sleepy hum of content.

Your heart melts at the sound.

"Okay, angel. Let's go home."

**

It took a little more time than intended but I finally got this finished. I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

[alexa-fika]

Hi again I loved the dad mihawk fics 🐼💕

But is it possible to write a dad law story in which he becomes afraid when his son becomes ill because it is the same illness he had as a child?

( Am still not good at English 🏃‍♀️)

A/N: Hello 🐼 (is that your anon name?) Hopefully this is somewhat what you were looking for, not as wholesome and lighthearted as my other pieces, but hopefully it still hits the feels!

Dividers by @/saradika

Breaking the cycle (Law x gn!child! reader)

He sighs at the sound of knocking on his room.

“Come in.”

He lifts an eyebrow when he hears what sounds like slamming against the door, the sound becoming clear when the door opens his child hanging from the door’s handle.

He sighs 

“What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t reach the handle,” they said, dropping down.

He sighs again, gesturing for the child to come close.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel very good, Dad.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, concerned at the sudden statement.

 “Are you sick?”

They shrug, walking closer to their dad.

“My Body hurts.”

The concern on his face grows as he takes his child seriously.

“Your entire body? All of it?”

They nod, 

“Just a little bit, though,” they said, going around the desk to face him.

He picks up his child, cradling them in his arms as he looks them over, feeling around for any sign of sickness. 

“How long has this been happening? All day? Or only just now?”

“Since the last island we stopped in.”

“For that long, and you’re only just telling me now?”

“Room”

“It barely hurt before,” they say, watching their dad grab their sword to scan them.

“I see…”

“Scan”

He stands up, holding his child, scanning their body for any signs of illness using his sword, being thorough in his movements.

His eyes widen in horror once he spots what’s wrong.

“Reader-ya, listen to me, this is really important. On the last island, did you go through any white pashes? Snow White flowers?”

“Yeah… there was this pretty field of white flowers near a mine; even the dirt was white! I got this flower from there,” they say, pointing to a flower tucked in their ear.

He looks at his child again, feeling that same rush of horror as before

He quickly grabs the flower and shambles it out of the submarine into the deep sea.

“Reader-ya, do not ever touch those again!” he growls.

They flinch at their father’s sudden anger.

“I -Im sorry!”

“No, it’s not your fault,” he corrects himself, his voice softening in response.

“Listen, that flower had Amber Lead, it can and has caused Amber Lead disease when exposed to your skin.”

“Amber Lead Disease?”

“Yes, it’s a very dangerous disease that is found on some of the most isolated islands in the Grand Line.”

“And it seems you have contracted it.”

He says standing up and gently placing them on the examining table.

He sighs at the look on Reader’s Face.

“I’m sorry for screaming at you; this condition just brings bad memories,” he says gently working to remove what had been infected by the amber lead.

“I’m sorry”

He looks up from his work, meeting his child’s gaze; he sighs deeply as he sees tears on Reader’s face.

“Don’t be, you didn’t know,” he says again, his voice a bit calmer as he holds Reader close.

“Is this why grandma, grandpa, and auntie are gone?”

His eyes harden when he hears the question, his hand clenching the table as he closes his eyes in response.

“Yes….”

The words escape his lips in a soft mumble, something clearly weighing upon his heart.

He opens his eyes again, feeling the pain of his heart again.

“But you will be okay,” he said, picking them up.

“Are you okay?” Reader questions

“I will be. I won’t let anyone else die, not anymore,” he said, cradling his child close.

Reader smiles, nuzzling into him.

“I’m okay because Dad is the best doctor!”

His face growing a red hue, feeling a sudden lump in his throat at the sudden praise.

“Thank you.”

He chuckles, rubbing Reader’s hair with his free hand.

Idk, more grim than im used to, but I tried to end it wholesome, cause my heart can't take angst especially angst with no comfort

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I maybe Request a oneshot of a Friendly alternative Reader who is comforting Mark after saving him from the other alternatives? This man needs a break..and some of his fav movies with junk food like pizza and such while wrapped in a blanket. :(

"GET OUT!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! NOW!!"

Despite the loud shouts of the terrified human who held a gun in his trembling hands, you just calmly stared down at him. He had been screaming nonstop ever since you and two other Alternates broke into his house.

However, he didn't realize that those ones were gone...because of your intervention.

Sure, it was common for Alternates to fight each other over human victims, but you didn't chase them out just so you could take over this one's identity or drive him to suicide.

No.

You in fact arrived here to save him.

You've been watching him for quite some time--ever since that encounter with the "Intruder". Yet you never made yourself known to him, curious about his behavior as a human.

And it made you want to protect him from all things evil and vile. It sounds ironic, considering you're one of those evil and vile things that haunted his existence, and showed up at his bedroom door on this very night.

But you only look the part, deep down you've developed things like "empathy" and "compassion"...and you wanted to show Mark that you're not out to harm anybody. You hoped that by fighting the other Alternates, he'd see that and at least put the gun down.

Yet he kept it trained on you, finger on the trigger.

Every time you tried talking, he believed you're attempting to inflict MAD on him and would start shouting curses, prayers, and whatnot, demanding you to leave.

"You don't understand, little one. I'm here to help you-"

"You can "help me" by dropping DEAD!! I'll fucking do it, I swear!!" He screamed, his voice nearly giving out.

It was very much obvious that his vocal cords couldn't take the strain. With his dehydration and all of the screaming and crying he's done for hours on end--begging for his parents and for his God to help--it's a miracle he could still even speak.

But it's clear that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. Talking's not the solution.

So you decided to let him shoot you and see what happens. As much as you hated for him to learn the truth...what else could you do in this moment?

You knew the bullet wouldn't hurt, but he didn't.

When you reached for his gun, he yelled and pulled the trigger--

Yet you barely even flinched, much to his horror; not even a slight wince of pain escaped your mouth.

"Wh..What..?" Mark shuddered, eyes growing wide as they darted all over your shadowed form, not finding any wounds nor blood whatsoever.

Where the hell did the bullet go?

It was like..you absorbed it or had some bulletproof skin.

'But those broadcasts...they told us that firearms would-'

"They lied to you, Mark. No manmade weapon can kill us." You regrettably told him, seeing the realization hit him. "Despite what your government has told you, a gun will not keep you safe. We may mimic humans, but we do not follow the same laws of biology as you."

"..n-no..that's..." He seemed to be in utter denial, dropping the gun as his arms fell back to his sides. "I don't believe it.....why would they..?"

Staring at you in shock, he could see a look of sadness flashing in your eyes. And he felt tears filling up his own, his whole body trembling as he wondered what else those broadcasts could have possibly lied about.

"I-Is that true?"

"Unfortunately, yes." You nodded your head. "But that's not the only thing: your law enforcement won't be here to help. They were given orders to ignore people who cry "Alternate"...because they fear mass causalities and assimilation attempts."

".....no...I....I-I called them so many times, and they said they'd help me! They said someone was on the way!!" His voice cracked as he slumped back onto his bed, face buried in his hands; the shock was slowly becoming too much for him to handle.

"I'm sorry.." You muttered. "But nobody is coming. Those are just comforting lies disguising a painful truth."

He couldn't understand any of it.

Guns didn't work?

The police won't deal with Alternates?

Did they just give up on protecting terrified, innocent civilians like himself?

How could he put his faith in them..or anyone, for that matter?

What was the point of surviving if nobody was going to save him?

Why bother living?

Mark put his hands down, his gaze flickering to the gun on the floor. And for a brief moment he considered just ending it all...right here, right now.

He wouldn't have to hide anymore.

He wouldn't have to feel this pain.

He wouldn't have to feel so...afraid.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to immediately grab it. Instead he stared at you, wondering why you attacked those two Alternates and didn't try to harm him now that he let you in.

What was so special about him? His life was meaningless. He didn't know where Cesar was, his sister was out of town, and nobody at school noticed he was missing class...he was all alone.

If anything, he was a perfect target.

Why spare his life?

"..j-just leave me be.." Out of pure distraught, he began to weep again, curling up on the bed and hugging himself like a terrified child. Hot tears streaked down his face as he begged you to go away, not wanting to hear one more horrible truth from you.

You frowned slightly, feeling some guilt in knowing you've told this man things he didn't wish to hear; yet it wasn't anything metaphysical that would've given him a severe case of MAD.

If you went any further and mentioned that he had been praying to a false god his entire life...he probably would've grabbed that gun already.

Surely, some other Alternate would have jumped on that opportunity But not you.

Instead, you wanted to comfort him, though you weren't sure what to do at first. He wasn't threatening you, but obviously he was still quite freaked out.

So you stood up and looked around his room for anything that could help him calm down, eventually spotting a blanket tossed into the corner. It looked slightly dirty upon closer examination, but otherwise soft as you picked it up.

Looking back at Mark, you could see his head resting on his knees, shoulders trembling and jolting every other second. 'Is he cold?' You wondered.

The air did feel quite chilly in this room. Perhaps this blanket could help.

As he sensed your presence becoming closer, he raised his head rather quickly, about to scream at you to leave--

Only to stop when he felt the weight of the familiar cotton fabric being wrapped around his shoulders, and he watched your claws gently adjust it so it didn't fall off.

You kneeled in front of him, ensuring it was brought around the front of his torso, your eyes seemingly smiling at him. "Does that feel better? You must've been so cold..you humans have such fragile skin. Very vulnerable to the harsh elements of your world."

Sniffling, his eyebrows furrowed as he just stared back at you in silence, utterly dumbfounded by your behavior. Yet he couldn't help but nod in agreement to your words, feeling a warmth overcome him.

Why were you acting like this?

After all, he tried to kill you. So why were you so merciful?

He didn't know what to say.

Your eyes wandered to the home phone that was on his bed, taking it. "I learned that..humans like to eat when they're in distress. You must be famished, little lamb. You hadn't left this room for days...do you have food out there?"

"...n-no." Mark shook his head, surprised when you handed the phone to him, and he shakily grasped it. "What..do you want me to do?"

"Takeout."

"...huh..?"

"The youth of your kind like "takeout". So get takeout for yourself." Standing up, you backed away and smiled, seeing that he looked a little more comfortable.

Although he had so many questions, you simply left the room, ensuring the nightlight in the corner was still on beforehand.

He sniffled as he wiped the tears from his eyes with the blanket, sighing and staring at the numbers on the phone. Then he finally decided to dial the local pizza place.

He could go for some after all the hell he's been through.

..........

When the delivery guy arrived to Mark's house, you were nowhere to be found, and so he tried to act as normal as possible while paying for the pizza.

It was a rather awkward exchange considering he hasn't had any human contact in days (not to mention going through one of the most traumatic experiences of his life).

But when they asked if he was alright, he lied about going through a "tough breakup". And they wished him a good day before leaving.

After closing the door, he turned around--

Nearly dropping the box in fright when he saw you standing by the couch.

"What did you get?"

"God-!! D-Don't do that." He spoke through gritted teeth. "Why are you still here? What do you want from me?"

"I'd like to know what pizza tastes like." You tilted your head like a curious cat.

"......"

"......."

"....it's cheese." Sighing, Mark just went over the couch, setting the box down on the coffee table. In the blink of an eye, you were sitting beside him.

Since you were awfully tall, you knees were touching your chest, and you rested your arms on them as you smiled down at the human. You noticed he still kept the blanket wrapped around himself.

He looked quite cute, if you'll be honest.

It was awful quiet in the house as he took a slice of pizza and chewed on it, seemingly staring off into the distance, thinking.

You had taken up a slice, too, revealing your sharp humanlike teeth as they bit down on the gooey cheese. And your eyes lit up with delight at the flavor....before you rapidly consumed it.

"Woah, what the hell?!" Mark was startled, watching you swallow it whole with wide eyes. "Damn, I guess..you were hungry, huh?"

"I don't need food, but..it was quite delicacy."

"..you mean delicious?"

"...yes." You realized your error. "So...what else do you usually do?"

"Why do you wanna know?" He scowled, his hostility returning. "So you can mimic my routine when you takeover-?"

"Mark, I've already told you..that's not my intention."

"But why? Those other two tried to kill me! One mimicked my best friend..th-the other tried getting inside my fucking head...but you...you just attacked them. Why?"

"Because unlike most Alternates who lack empathy and compassion...I happen to have those." You gently explained to him. "Think of me as...a sheep in wolf's clothing, if you will. I don't follow the Savior's-"

"Wait..the Savior?" He blinked slowly. "You don't mean-"

"No, no..not yours." You reassured him. "We have a different Savior who says we should annihilate humanity, but I disagree. So I chose my own path. I wanna help your kind because...well...there's a lot of beauty to be found in it. Like you."

"Me?" Mark raised an eyebrow, doubting that he exemplified anything "beautiful" about humans. "I'm just a kid who pointed a gun at you."

Looking down at him, you shook your head. "There's beauty in your desire to survive, little lamb. You showed fortitude while most would have crumbled at the first sight of me. That alone was impressive."

"...yeah, well..my "fortitude" was great before I knew that the broadcasts fucking lied to us." He felt his eyes starting to sting again, and he hastily wiped them, not wanting to look pathetic and helpless in front of you anymore. "So is that their plan? To leave our lives in your hands and basically tell us to fuck off if we call about an encounter?"

"......."

"...right, you told me. I guess we'd be even more screwed if Alternates started mimicking cops." His shoulders slumped, suddenly losing his appetite as he stared at the few pizza slices that remained, only now realizing you've eaten most of them.

But he didn't care.

He just wanted to be done caring.

You could tell a lot of this new information was weighing heavily on his mind, so you wondered if a distraction could help ease his anxieties.

Then your eyes landed on the TV in front of you both, the remote on the table next to the pizza box. It still intact and untampered, and with your influence over it you could stop another Alternate from overtaking the signals. "You like TV? We should watch some."

"But-"

"Nothing bad will happen to you. No Alternate will set foot in here other than me." You promised, shifting a bit closer to him. "You have my word, Mark Heathcliff."

Finally, he gave in and decided to trust your words. But only because he had nobody else to turn to and you seemed to show sympathy towards his situation. So he reached for the remote and turned on the TV, unsure of what to expect as he flipped through the channels.

Part of him worried he'd see that same man that he met in his childhood all those years ago..

Yet all the stations were normal, and he eventually found one where a favorite movie of his was playing. You could see the way his eyes lit up, realizing he found something he liked given the way he curled up and relaxed.

You simply watched the movie with him in silence. Neither of you knew how much time had passed, although judging from the light outside the locked windows, it was night.

Then you became surprised upon feeling something soft against your arm; you looked down to see it was his head, the top of his messy brown hair visible to you.

"Mark?"

"......."

There was only more silence from him, but since you could sense his gentle breathing, you knew he had fallen asleep.

You mused at how quickly you managed to gain his trust.

Only a little while ago, this young Christian boy was condemning you to hell and back, thinking you were some vile "demon" coming to kill him.

But now? Your presence seemed to comfort him.

Smiling, you carefully put your arm around him, hugging him a bit closer to your side. He snuggled closer to you out of instinct, not having felt the comforting touch of somebody in a long, long time.

'How could Gabriel ever want to destroy these precious creatures?' You pondered.

You knew he needed this rest, and so you let him be, keeping your eyes on both the television and the shadows all the around the house.

You'll make sure no other Alternate harms this soul.

Never again.

[sashi-ya]

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐬. Trafalgar Law x F! reader & Crew

✦ a sweet comfort scenario after ch. 1081. Do not read if you are not caught up with the manga!! HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD. We will miss you, Polar Tang. ✦ wc: 1062

His wounds were something you haven’t seen before; even after Dressrosa the cuts and hits weren’t as deep and severe as those.  

Quickly, those who still can swim freely or with some difficulty, pull the ones at risk out of the water into the coasts of Victor Island.

Ahead of them, some yellow pieces of your home sink into the cold abyss of the Grandline. That in which Polar Tang had been surrounded and hugged, now seems to be its graveyard.

You can only focus on the pain your soul can feel, the physical wounds are nothing compared to it. But it's not just yours; it's what Law will feel when he finally wakes up.

Because he will. And your hands will make it possible.

A day or so has passed, the wounds have been treated. Bepo has returned to his usual form, and besides Penguin and Shachi nobody can stop asking him about his Sulong state. You were able to smile for the first time since the incident because of it. Seeing such a sweet polar bear turn into such a beast and then go back to his apologizing ways is always a little funny.

However, there is something that you can all agree… there wouldn’t be enough gratefulness towards him for saving Law from getting his most precious treasures out of him; his life & the Ope Ope no mi.

A new night came and the still pretty tired -but alive- crewmembers head to their improvised beds still on the coast of that island. Law, continues to be submerged into unconsciousness. Maybe is not that he is not strong enough to wake up, but he doesn’t really want to.

You snuggle on his side. It’s a blessing to be able to grab his hand and feel it so warm. It could have been different. It could have been terrible.

Inside that little cave where you dragged him in, the soft brilliance of the moon only reaches the entrance, and the sound of raging waves fill the place. You wonder if those same waves are softly lulling Polar Tang to its eternal rest and some tears sprout from your eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbles. Soft tattooed hand sloppily reaching for your cheek. It gets wet because of the tears.

“La-Law! You are awake!” you chime, trying to choke back tears that won’t stop falling. “Don’t try to move, you are still pretty hurt” you tell him, while grabbing his hand and planting a kiss on his palm.

“Your face… it’s hurt… I’m sorry… I couldn’t protect our home” he murmurs, with just one eye open because that’s what his swollen eyelids allow him to do.

You don’t care about anything; your wounds are nothing. He protected you all, he fought against a man who plays it dirty. Who is a coward and can’t win if he doesn’t steal other’s dreams. How dare him speak of dreams, when he goes around this world snatching them from others?

“No, Law. You are such a strong man. You protect us all. Your mission was completed, you put yourself in front of us to fight!” you try to make him understand he is not weak, that he should be the winner because Teach wasn’t able to take what he came to steal; the Ope Ope no mi.

Law turns to you with difficulty and grimacing in pain. His hands reach your cheeks, and his forehead presses against yours. “I’m glad you are alive. How is the rest?” he asks, with trembly voice. He is scared to hear what he doesn’t want to.

“The whole crew is alive. They are all safe and sound!” you inform him, allowing the poor doctor to breath a sigh of relief.

He nods, closing his eyelids tight. A tear tries to scape. Because there is yet another crew member he knows he lost. But, there is even more he wants to discover… He lifts his arm, putting his hand in the classic form to cast his “rooms”.

“ROOM…” he shily says, still with eyes closed and trembling lips.

With difficulty, a blue bubble of light sprouts from his palm illuminating the surroundings with its magical hue. Law barely opens his eye, and lets his body fall limp on yours. He is so relieved. His fruit, the reason why Cora-san died, the heart of his life is still inside him.

“Bepo saved you. He was the one who gave Teach the final blow to prevent him from stealing it. Bepo turned into Sulong… he saved you as a vice captain should” you proudly inform your captain -and lover-.

Law fixes his watery icy eyes on yours. And a smile you rarely see appears on his beaten-up countenance. “I’m so proud of my brother… I wont have enough life to pay him for this”

You know Bepo doesn’t need anything back for doing what he did, but you agree with Law either way.

However, Law’s sight reach for the sea outside the cave. And countless silent tears bathe his cheeks. He knows there will be no coming back, and his only home for the last 12 years is definitely gone.

“What will you do, now? I lost our home… how am I gonna face Mr. Wolff after this?” he murmurs, burying his head on your chest.

“We lost it the physical body of Polar Tang yes, but we didn’t lost our home Law…” you whisper, kissing his ruffled black hair with delicacy and tracing circles on his back with your palm.

You let him cry all he needs. After all, he is just human. And soon shy eyes surround you all. The whole crew wait to say something, they were all sleeping but his captains heartbeats surely woke them all.

“Law… are you sure we lost our home?” you ask, again, making him look up towards his nakama surrounding you.

You make them all come to him, slowly. Bepo is the first, however, to run and hug him. And in a big, sweet hug you all melt. “Captain, you are alive!” they all chime. But Law can’t stop apologizing for losing Polar.

“Law, I’m gonna ask you again… are you sure we lost our home?” you repeat, grabbing his cheeks. He blinks, in between blurry sight he keeps silent.

And you all, at unison repeat; “Captain… home is where the heart is!”

[sroloc--elbisivni]

Fic roundup: Heart Pirates, post Winner Island

After seeing @purplehairedwonder's post rounding up her fics from the aftermath of the Law-Blackbeard fight now that it's been animated, I thought I'd make one putting together as many as I could find or remember. These are ones where it's the main focus--I realize it does feature in like, various longfics, as a background/inciting event but my goal was to sift out the ones that are focused on it. If there's one that is post WI focused you know and love I'm missing feel free to toss the link in the replies and I'll update the list. I've done some minor sorting into sections for Lulaw, Heart Pirates crew fics, bad end, and various, and within those things are listed alphabetically.

Lulaw

a beating heart by Heartprts (jiaaa27)

After successfully escaping Egghead, the Straw Hats are on their way to Elbaf when two individuals made their way to the Thousand Sunny. The ensuing events led Luffy to realize his feelings for the dying captain. Prompt: confession | heart swap | i thought i'd lost you

A Thing Both Terrible and Beautiful by purplehairedwonder; E, 3.5k, complete.

Law wants it rough, wants it to hurt, because it’s what he deserves after losing everything. Again. Luffy knows he needs something else.

as I hold your hollow heart by betsib; M, 25k, complete.

The Straw Hats pick up Bepo and an unconscious Law after the events at Winner Island. Luffy is more than ready to help him, but when Law opens his eyes, he is a stranger. Meanwhile, Law wakes up in Dressrosa, with Doflamingo's symbol tattooed on his chest and servants calling him "Corazon".

Ballast by SyrupFog; NR, 7.3k, complete.

Law stands at the helm of a ship that isn’t his. They need supplies, they need to recover (he needs to recover), they need to go back. He can’t— he doesn’t have another choice. They have to go back to Winner Island as soon as possible, as soon as they’re able. There’s just no other option, here. Not for him. Not when his entire crew, save for Bepo, is somewhere out there. They’re strong. They must have survived. Law needs them to have survived. Law and Bepo have commandeered a small marine vessel, but there's a ship that simply won't stop following them, and Law-- Law's having nightmares.

Bet by Salemmcit0; G, 1.3k, complete.

Luffy wants to take care of Law while he's wounded, and he lets him. Both pirate crews are freaking out. And betting about it.

Broken Hearts by Dragon_Fallss; M, 33k, complete.

After retreating from Blackbeard, Bepo takes Law to the Thousand Sunny for help. Law's broken. And on top of that, the virus from the battle makes a surprise return. He now has to deal with his grief and a new body. And Luffy is so kind it's painful.

Call You Mine by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead; T, 8.8k, complete.

“Who would even be crazy enough to date Straw Hat Luffy?” “It’s gotta be someone who’s pretty strong,” one of the bar’s patrons mused. “I don’t see Straw Hat falling for a weakling.” “Strong enough for Straw Hat, and crazy enough to accept his advances,” another patron mused. “There aren’t many people that can say they’d meet those requirements.” “It’s pretty much just the Worst Generation, right?” someone else pointed out. Law scowled at his drink and wished Penguin wasn’t such a busybody. “Makes sense. Those Worst Generation guys all seem pretty close. When they’re not trying to kill each other, anyway,” the bartender pointed out with a shrug. Law had to admit he was right, at least when it came to Luffy. The idea of Luffy dating someone in their exclusive little band made sense to him, too. Or: Five times Law was jealous of Luffy's mystery boyfriend, and one time he realized the mystery boyfriend was Law himself.

Dead Defend No Honour (Day 9 of LawLu Week 2023) by KhepiAri; G, 2.7k, complete.

What if Luffy found out, Law lost it all at the hands of Blackbeard? Will he let Law suffer alone, or will he drag him back to Sunny?

Dissecting a Captain by devils_regrets; E, 10.8k, complete.

Law's anguish and hatred drives him to lash out at the Straw Hat Captain, but Luffy of all people knows that's not how to heal the heart.

Grounding Exercise by heart_sen_ya; T, 2.5k, complete.

The panic didn’t leave Law’s body, but he managed to slow his movements, grip tightly at his first mate’s sleeve. “Bepo?” he huffed. “Real?” The question hung heavy between them. “Yes,” the word was dripping with sorrow, with apology. “Not dreaming. I’m sorry, Captain.” Tattooed fingers curled deeper into Bepo’s sleeve. Law leaned forward into him, his body screaming in protest. He didn’t care. How could he? Here he was, alive amidst tragedy. “Again,” he hissed, vocalizing the thought. “Again?'' The word tasted like poison.

Healing of the heart by Tchell1; G, 10.5k, complete.

In the aftermath of Law and Black Beard's battle, Law is left broken and hopeless. Monkey D. Luffy will not allow Law to fall into despair.

Look Who's Laughing Now by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead; T, 13.2k, complete.

I really like Torao, Luffy thought contentedly. I like him, too. The words felt like a warm echo of his own thoughts, bumping against the inside of his skull in a gentle but insistent way. That was weird. But not the weirdest thing Luffy had ever experienced, so he ignored it. “Did you get something in your eyes, Mugiwara-ya?” Torao asked. “They look a little pink.”

Loss & Regret by CaptainButterBuns; G, 1.4k, complete.

Blackbeard has dealt a crushing blow to the Hearts and Law is left to deal with the trauma but an old ally could be just what he needs to help him through it.

Lost and Found (You) by purplehairedwonder; T, 7.5k, complete.

Five times Law and Luffy almost lost one another and one time they did something about it.

My Heart in Your Hands, My Hands around Your Heart by purplehairedwonder; G, 1.9k, complete

In Luffy's lowest moment, Law takes Luffy's hand and promises that his story will not end. In Law's lowest moment, Luffy takes Law's hand and promises the same.

My Heart, Fragile in Your Hands by purplehairedwonder. T, 2.3k, complete.

“I failed them,” Law whispered, and it felt like a confession—like at church in Flevance. Confession was supposed to absolve someone of their sins, right? He doubted there was a god anywhere who could absolve him of his. And yet, he confessed at the altar of Luffy. “They were my responsibility, and I failed them.” Or, Law wakes up in the Sunny's infirmary after Winner Island.

On fire by Suwym; T, 367 words, complete.

Law has lost practically everything: his father, his submarine, his crew, and that vivre card.

Our Hearts, Made Whole in Each Other by purplehairedwonder. T, 2.3k, complete.

Luffy cupped Law’s cheek with his hand, softly grazing his thumb over a yellowing bruise. “Torao is so pretty,” he said quietly, a note of awe in his voice. Law flushed. “Torao’s heart is beating so fast.” “Yeah,” Law agreed, swallowing. “It is.” Luffy’s, despite a few flutters, was beating steadily in Law’s chest. Law, on the other hand, felt pinned to the spot, one hand holding Kikoku and the other in Luffy’s grip. “You should stay.” Law blinked. “What?” “You should stay,” Luffy repeated. “On the Sunny. With me."

Passing Showers by daggermoon; G, 6k, complete.

In which Law is extremely irritable, lost at sea with an idiot strawhat burrito, and very much out of his depth. ______ He is helpless, no more than an insect in a puddle, clinging to a leaf in order not to drown. Even worse, he has a particularly dumb fellow insect to take care of. Now part of a series *grins sheepishly*

Tattoos by Salemmcit0; G, 4k, complete.

Luffy takes Law and his crew to Swallow Island to build a new Polar Tang, and retouch his tattoos. Nobody knew that Mugiwara-ya was planning on getting one too.

The Heart is a Thing to Be Broken by purplehairedwonder; T, 5.5k, complete.

The Straw Hats learn about Winner Island.

The Lost Case by felsefeslegen; M, 24k, WIP.

SPOILERS AFTER 1081 IN THE MANGA. What happened to Law and Bepo after they defeated by Blackbeard and lost in the ocean? How will they survive and what will happen after Law and Luffy meet up in Elbaf? --- After the total defeat of Heart Pirates, Law and Bepo washed up on a deserted island. After that the thing made them survive became their nightmare, they were rescued from there like a miracle. Yet, Law was broken enough to hurt both himself and others. And mostly, Luffy.

Then Came You by Raiya

„Please Captain don’t die.“ Law could hear Bepo repeat the words over and over. The seawater around him felt like it was holding him in a breathtaking grip, but maybe it was Bepo carrying him. Law did not know if he was unable to move because of the water or his injuries but it did not matter much, he barely could keep himself conscious but tried his best.

These Petals Surface And Scathe by Cooknumber3; T, 17.8k, complete.

What had begun as a flicker of curiosity in Sabaody had turned into an unfortunate crush by the time Punk Hazard rolled around. Dressrosa saw it deepen into devotion, and it sweetened on Zou. Then Wano came and went, leaving him with something he now has to recover from. (Or: Hanahaki disease is cured by confession, not reciprocation. This is the aftermath, where Law tries to move on.)

What once was lost, now found by Callunar; T, 7k, complete.

Transcription for Chapter 1082 OFFICIAL!!! THIS IS DEFINITELY WHAT HAPPENED IN CHAPTER 1082. DON'T LOOK AT ANY OTHER SOURCES, JUST TRUST ME.

You didn't have to come by Salemmcit0; G, 1.6k, complete.

After parting ways while leaving Wano, Luffy can't stop looking at Law's vivre card. Days later the paper began to disintegrate. Or, Luffy goes to look for Torao as the Winner Island encounter is going on Day 1 of Lawlu 2023 week - Loyalty

your hands in mine by betsib; T, 1k, complete.

Luffy has always liked Law's hands.

Your Heart, Broken in My Chest by purplehairedwonder. T, 3.6k, complete.

Luffy was far from an expert at having someone else’s heart in his chest, but he was pretty sure what was happening with Torao’s heart wasn’t normal. AKA, Law and Luffy switched hearts after Wano, and Luffy feels Winner Island happen.

10 Days of LawLu 2023 Day 6/8/10: Holding Hands/Hurt & Comfort/Confessions by Straw_Heart3; M, 4.6k, complete.

The aftermath of Law's fight with Blackbeard on Winner Island.

Heart Pirates major role

A Last, Beating Heart by HyperbolicReverie; G, 1.4k, complete.

“Oh, my wonderful crew,” you think, thoughts hazy as bits and pieces of yourself begin to drift in the currents. “Oh, my dear, brave little boys. I hope you can forgive me for not being able to carry you further. I can no longer be your heart.”

Your journey has ended. But this? This you can do.

A Swallow's Cry by Heartprts (jiaaa27); T, 3k, complete.

Klabautermann: a spirit that dwells in ships, an incarnation of a ship that has been well loved and cared for. Tangs, surgeonfishes: a family of marine fish with a distinctive characteristic of having scalpel-like scales at their caudal peduncle. or Polar Tang fought for her family, to her very last breath.

At Our Dream's End by chioccowine; G, 2.5k, complete

A snippet between the Heart's captain and his first mate after chapter 1081 - - - “But, Bepo...” his captain’s body shivered as he uttered softly, like the blossoms of the epiphyllum under the moonlight, silently withering in the gentle wind without anyone knowing. “What lies at the dream’s end? What lies at the end…when there’s nothing left to dream about?” Bepo sniffed to hold back his tears, and he reached out his paws determinedly. Like how the three of them used to do for him when he was still a little cub, he hugged his captain tight, sheltering him from the long freezing night.

Bioluminescent Hearts by Harmonica_Smile (Rescue_Remedy); T, 5.7k, complete.

"No bodies?" Blackbeard fumed. Doc Q and Stronger had bounced across rocky Winner Island when that bear had gone all Sulong and knocked them out. Van Augur's range for warping wasn't that great, and was tricky over open water. He could sharpshoot the skin of a hangnail, but the bear was fast. If he'd managed to get a shot in, they could've finished the Mink off, and pulled the shitty doctor from the water, taken his heart and returned triumphant. Once the horse had woken up.

blessed, not cursed by Heartprts (jiaaa27)

For a few years now, Jean Bart feels like his life is cursed. It all happened too quickly; one moment their ship capsized, and the next moment he's wearing an explosive collar. It was the start of all the curses.

Caught by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.2k, complete.

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad death, Hakugan thought as he felt darkness beginning to encroach on his vision. He’d been on the crew of a Warlord, had helped in the fight that defeated two Emperors, and had seen more incredible, unbelievable things than he would have once thought possible; it had been a much more fulfilling life than he would have had if he’d stayed in his boring, backwater home in the North Blue. He would never regret agreeing to join Trafalgar Law all those years ago. He only hoped that his captain would somehow live on to fight another day; as long as Law lived on, so would the Heart Pirates.

Celebration by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.6k, complete.

As the Heart and Straw Hat Pirates celebrate the jailbreak of the imprisoned Hearts, Shachi tracks down a guilt-ridden Law and offers his captain some moral support.

Cursed by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.4k, complete.

After Wano, Jean had never been prouder to sport the Heart Pirates Jolly Roger on his back, tattooed over the slave brand that had marked him as cursed for so many years. But they had failed Law on Winner Island. Jean had failed him on Winner Island.

Clang, Ding, Zing by Mekachu04. G, 489 words, complete.

Still, it surprised him when Kidd approached him first, a thick pad of blank newsprint that Law hoped he'd gotten permission for before liberating from Franky's workshop. Kidd dropped the heavy booklet on Law with no preamble. an *extremely* short snippet of two very much down on their luck pirate captains dealing with their recent losses. More light-hearted than it sounds.

Food by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.2k, complete

“Sorry for borrowing your kitchen without asking. I just...” “It’s fine,” Sanji said easily before starting to roll up the cuffs on his sleeves to his elbow. “You wanted to make something for your people, didn’t you?” “I...” Clione blinked in surprise. “Yeah.” “I get it,” Sanji said. Once his cuffs were rolled up, he crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the counter. “It’s how people like us show our love, right?” Sanji went on. “Through our cooking.”

going through by aghhhhhh; G, 1.1k, complete.

Hakugan has an idea. Written for Heart Pirates Week 2024 Day 8: Hakugan and Caught

Heart to Heart by MorWicked; G, 1k, complete.

The Heart Pirates have been destroyed, and now they need to help each other remember what matters most. ----- Digging his fingers in amongst the flotsam of pebbles and broken shells, Law wrestled his harrowed anatomy into a position somewhat less prone. Slumping against the familiar form of his salvation, Law found it a little easier to breathe. A heavy paw settled over his shoulders, somehow easing the gravity of devastation even as it rested in a fashion that belied a bone-deep exhaustion.

'homeless heart' by fab_ia; T, 4k, complete.

“They’ll make it,” Bepo says. “They always have before, haven’t they? From the North until here…” It isn’t survivors' guilt. Bepo refuses to call it that, at any rate, because that would mean expressing some degree of doubt that the rest of them have managed to survive. He isn’t sure that he’ll be able to keep going if he lets go of that hope, if he doubts them for even a moment.

Last nights with Tang by Lyy30; G, 6.5k, complete.

Ikkaku has her first and last conversation with Tang.

Loyalty by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.2k, complete.

The only solace the Hearts had after being taken captive by the Blackbeard Pirates was the revelation that Bepo had gotten Law away from the battlefield. They’d all sworn in Wano that they would do whatever it took to protect their self-sacrificing captain, and any of them would have made the same choice, had they been able. They were the Heart Pirates, and Trafalgar Law was the beating heart at the center of the crew. They would hold out until Law came for them, and they would give the Blackbeard Pirates nothing.

Low Battery by killyhawk; T, 1.5k, complete

Two times Shachi carried Law, and one time he couldn't.

Night by purplehairedwonder. T, 1.1k, complete.

Their rescue comes at night.

Wish the 4 of us stay together forever by Horsehead_557; G, 837 words, complete.

Penguin, Shachi, Law and Bepo are all waiting outside to see the shooting star while drinking some tasty hot chocolate until Bepo suggest that they make a wish

Bad end

Broken Hearts by CaptainButterBuns; E, 736 words, complete. Graphic Depictions of Violence + Major Character Death warning.

Law has bitten off more than he can chew with Black Beard and the Heart Pirates pay the ultimate price.

Forced Disease of Despair by ProfessorDatenix; E, 6k, complete. Law/Blackbeard and Blackbeard Pirates. Rape/Non-Con warning.

Law gets turned into a woman in the battle against the Blackbeard Pirates near Winner Island, but something goes wrong and ends up captured by them, being completely at the mercy of mean that want to show their new slut what it means to be a captured woman by an enemy ship

From the Ashes by purplehairedwonder. T, 10.8k, WIP.

Blackbeard takes Law and the defeated Heart Pirates captive after their defeat at Winner Island.

Some version of you. That I might not have, but I did not lose by ImpassiveMoon; T, 3.2k, WIP.

Law doesn't escape Winner Island. Luffy and the Strawhat Pirates, sailing high after their escape from Egghead Island, find out far too late. A butterfly flaps its wings and creates a tornado. What then would a beetle do? A god? Brace yourself. For D will bring a storm.

The promised I have to keep by Horsehead_557; G, 3.35k. Graphic Depictions of Violence + Rape/Non-Con warning.

the young captain taking out his den-den mushi and vivre card luffy like calling the other captain while looking at his vivre card cause it makes him feel like that torao is infront of him “wh-where is” luffy panicked he cant find torao’s vivre card - in something happened to law and they cant do anything about it

the steps to an foretold conclusion by aghhhhhh; T, 3.2k, complete.

Law was always going to die. He is on the altar, heart torn out for the sun.

to the victor go the soiled by Anonymous; E, 8k, complete. Rape/Non-Con warning.

Law had been Doflamingo’s slave-concubine for some years before escaping the clan in his late teens and starting his own crew, but no-one left Doflamingo’s harem. Doflamingo was excited that Law now had a hole that he and other members of his crew had not yet sampled. Variety was the spice of life and all that. Another thing Doflamingo liked was how docile the constant fucking from Blackbeard’s crew, the transformation, and the specially designed seastone adornments had made Law. Straight into the PWP. Hurt, no comfort. If it's not your thing, click right back. Tags are not for show

Other

Aftermath by purplehairedwonder; G, 1k.

The aftermath of the fight at Winner Island.

A Most Surprising Alliance by Cygnus_the_Harper; G, 13.3k, complete. Users-only.

After the battle on Winner Island Bepo and Law flee across the ocean. Finding themselves stranded on a winter island they try to pick up the pieces, find a plan for moving forward, and worry about their crew. This was written after the cover page art depicting Law napping with a leopard and a bottle of vodka. It was such a fun picture that I had to write the adventures of Law and Bepo on that island, and their eventual rescue.

A Promise Fulfilled, 13 Years Later by betsib. T, 5.8k, complete.

Rosinante wakes up on Minon Island on the exact spot where he died, 13 years later. He's surprised to find Law is now a notorious pirate, and sets out on a journey to find him. Written for CoraFest 2024.

a victory every year by betsib; T, 6k, complete.

Law finds himself imprisoned in Impel Down, injured and possibly dying. His only company is Doflamingo, who tells him Luffy has been captured too. All in all, not the best way to spend his birthday.

A Wave Across a Bay by Sleeping_Songbird; G, 785 words, complete.

The aftermath of The Hearts fight with Blackbeard.

Beautiful Savior by Captainkreuger; G, 1k, complete.

Cavendish and his crew save Law and Bepo after Blackbeard defeats the Heart Pirates.

Faded by meowmystery; T, 819 words, complete.

Alone with his thoughts, Trafalgar Law begins to think his past over, which he has done over a million times. No matter how much he tries, he can't seem to come to a conclusion. Is there really an answer?

Fem Law on Winner Island by SilverSphere; G, 1.4k, complete.

This is just a canon-divergence drabble of Law getting stuck as a girl on Winner Island : )

Give Us a Little Love by cptrum; G, 2.3k, complete.

Law and Bepo get away from Winner island, but now what? Bepo is stuck trying to help an injured Law and also get his crew back. A what happened after chapter 1081 (since we still have zero resolution for that).

Hurting by lostsometime; T, 808 words, complete.

It hurts different, is the thing.

In the Light that Falls at Moonrise by Rimetin; T, 12.7k, Smoker/Law.

"The Captain,” the mink repeats, “trusts you.” Smoker chews on his cigars, letting his head fall back again. “Yeah, you said that.” “And you trust him.” Smoker and Law speak with their respective seconds-in-command, gain some valuable insight, and come face to face with some difficult to admit facts. Part 3 of Bitten by the Cold

Magneteers by Mekachu04; T, 2k, WIP.

After fleeing Blackbeard, Law & Bepo have been rescued by the Strawhats. Luffy is more than happy to help Law find his ship and crew, but his crew rightly points out that finding a submarine under the water is a big ask. If only there was someone they knew who could find large metal things and easy move them around. Possibly bring a sunken sub up to the surface with his magnetic abilities. So they detour to hunt down the Kidd Pirates. Unfortunately for Law, Shanks found Kidd first.

Polar Bear, Ocean Blue, and A Glass of His Dreams by chioccowine; G, 8k, WIP. Shanks/Law.

In order to bring Black Beard down to his demise, the Captain of the Hearts seized the opportunity to propose an alliance to the notorious red-haired emperor. The young captain’s willing to offer anything - - As he had nothing to lose.

Salt for Salt (Bone For Bone) by Friendly_Neighborhood_Asexual; NR, 2k, complete.

Bepo didn’t know how long he had been swimming, only that his lungs burned and his limbs ached and that he could not stop until his captain was safe. Law was tucked firmly under his arm, pressed close to his side with all the strength the mink could afford, and Bepo couldn’t tell if he was still breathing anymore. He couldn’t dwell on that though - wouldn’t dare to entertain the thought that he might be - his captain was strong, strong enough to survive Doflamingo, strong enough to survive Kaido and Big Mom, strong enough to bring emperors to their knees. Law would be strong enough to survive Blackbeard. Bepo didn’t know if he would be strong enough to survive Law’s death.

Seeing the Light by CaptainJoJo; T, 1.4k, complete.

Law doesn't want to talk about it and Luffy isn't pushing him.

Suns Will Sink to Shade by Rimetin; T, 7.3k, complete. Smoker/Law.

Smoker gnaws on his cigars, puffing thick clouds of off-white smoke. “I’m trying to help you, brat.” “I didn’t–” Law cuts himself off. It dawns on him then that he did, in fact, ask. Involving Smoker was his own express decision, however impulsively made. Bepo certainly hadn't made it for him - hell, he hadn't so much as questioned it. And he hadn't been the one to bring the rumors, either: it had been an innocuous bit of conversation Law overheard, and his traitor brain had latched onto it. Pushed to his breaking point and beyond, he'd heard Smoker's name and only thought refuge. Fuck. Smoker and Law talk some things through. Plans are made. (now with art!) Part 2 of Bitten by the Cold

The Aftermath by RitsukoRyoku; G, 3.5k, complete

This is how I envision the aftermath of that fateful battle as the Heart Pirates recover and recuperate.

what we have left by betsib; G, 716 words, complete.

Bepo and Law are picked up by the Straw Hats after the events on Winner Island, and Law proposes another alliance.

When Stars are Silver by Rimetin; T, 7k, complete. Smoker/Law.

When the air around him thins and fills with bluish static, Smoker knows exactly what it is. He turns in his chair just in time to catch two of his meditating rocks poof out of existence, replaced instead with… A man and a polar bear. SPOILERS for ch. 1081. After Winner Island, Law finds Smoker. Part 1 of Bitten by the Cold

I II II L by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse); T, 764 words, complete.

Bepo worries about his Captain

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 7a

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 5046

TW: Idiots in love; angst; hurt feelings and apologies; talk of cheating; talk of panic attacks.

AN: The prompt was "I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen."

You weren’t sure if it was possible to feel worse about yourself, but over the next few weeks, you sunk to new lows.  You were always so good about thinking before speaking – you always had a thoughtful, measured approach to your words.  You knew that words could be a weapon.  They could cut deep or hit with a heavy weight.

Your flippant, unkind comment to Barba had been like a cudgel.  He hadn’t done a single thing wrong.  He had looked so hurt when he left you that night, and you felt like a complete asshole.

You tried sending him a few texts – he read them, but never replied.  You called twice and left voicemails.  You knew this was probably karma for the way you shut Sonny out when you’d broken up.  That thought – that Sonny had probably tried to reach out to you too, and you had ignored him – gave you fresh waves of shame.

You saw Barba a few times at the courthouse, but he pointedly ignored you.  More shame.

All told, you were probably at the lowest you’d been in a while.  You had a terrible case – a seventeen year old being held at Rikers who hadn’t even been formally charged with anything yet.  Your father had called a couple times and you’d missed each call.  You had a tension headache that hung with you for a week, never loosening its grip on you.

And you felt terrible about Barba.  You could logic out a lot of why you’d been an asshole.  First Jason, then Sonny – wonderful boyfriends until they just stopped loving you or wanting you.  Barba had just been a fun hookup at first.  When he tried to start a feelings talk with you, your stomach had dipped pleasantly for a split second before it twisted.  If he was developing feelings for you, then it’d be a short journey from that to breaking up, hurting you. 

In other words, Barba might have feelings for you now.  In a year, he’d be out of love with you and cheating (like Jason) or out of love with you and possibly cheating (like Sonny).  There was something about you that reeled men in, but they never stuck around.  Why bothering signing up for future pain just for a bit of affection now? 

Still, the guilt weighed on you.  Barba was a good man, after all, and it would have been be all too easy to fall for him.  You remembered how he had comforted you that day in SVU, when you’d seen a pregnant Rollins and assumed the baby was Sonny’s.  You remembered how Barba hadn’t said a single snarky thing, taking you to lunch instead and being perfectly kind and consoling.

You remembered all the times you argued, but how he had smiled at you like he enjoyed it.  You remembered how he used to call you “Girl Wonder,” but then took to calling you “Fordham law” until he found out about your other nickname - then how he’d call you “Sparky” with a wide grin.

You remembered how it felt when you danced with him at the swanky lawyer event.

You needed to see Barba.  At the very least, you needed to apologize, and if he didn’t stalk away from you with cold fury in his green eyes, maybe you could explain yourself too.

*****

Barba felt like shit.  He’d gone over to your apartment with the intention of broaching the topic of maybe being more than just hookup buddies.  It had been getting harder and harder to pretend that it was just physical for him anymore.  Even when you got dressed and left him, he spent the rest of the night thinking about you. 

Every encounter, he managed to learn a new bit of information about you.  You couldn’t cook, apparently.  You had been training for a half-marathon but had abandoned it because of work.  You didn’t sleep well.  You lost pens at an alarming rate, which was why you just used cheap rollerballs instead of fancy fountain pens.  You knew the best swear words in five different languages, because you had a weird aversion to swearing in English.  You read your favorite book, ‘Possession’ by A.S. Byatt, once a year, usually over Christmas.

It wasn’t enough for him anymore.  He wanted to sleep with you after sex.  He wanted to fall asleep with you in his arms and wake up in the morning to wild hair and bad breath and multilingual swearing at the alarm.  He wanted to go to dinner with you and get to know you better than the scavenging of facts that he was doing currently.

You did not feel the same way.  You’d made a snarky comment about hate-fucking that cut him to his core, and he got out of there as quickly as he could.  You’d stammered out some half-assed apology, and he wondered if you even realized what you were saying when you said it.  Still, it hurt.

He ignored your texts and calls.  When he felt you nearby at the courthouse – and he could:  you were like a storm rolling in, making every inch of his skin hypersensitive to a changing weather front – he kept his gaze carefully ahead of him.

When you stopped calling and texting, he tried to put it all behind him.

-----

It was a Wednesday, late-morning.  Barba was in his office and going through a stack of potential cases that McCoy may or may not want to take to trial.  Barba took notes, summarized each case, and sent them up to his boss to decide, depending on which way the political winds were blowing.  It was a quiet day otherwise. 

Until it wasn’t.  Barba heard you before he saw you.  Clear as day, he heard you walk up to Carmen and ask if he was in and available, and when Carmen answered, you blew into his office without even knocking.  You, better than anyone, should know enough to at least knock, but you were like a storm.  Blowing up out of the blue like a summer squall.

Carmen was on your heels, but Barba stood and nodded at his assistant to let her know it was okay.  Carmen shut the door behind her, and Barba looked at you with an impassive gaze.

You were in tailored pants and a cashmere sweater – the weather was colder and you probably didn’t have court today.  Your hair was down, and the overall effect was that you looked more casual.  But you also looked tired, except for your bright eyes gazing back at him.

“Before you kick me out,” you said, holding up a hand to preemptively silence him.  “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”

“So explain,” he said.  He sat back down and looked at his notes.  He couldn’t bear to look at your face.  It still hurt too much, your cruel rejection.

“I’m sorry,” you said, and your voice was soft.  He glanced up and saw the remorse on your face, and he felt his own resolve weaken just a bit.

But only a bit.  “I know,” he said, terse.  “I got your texts.”

You hung your head, and your loose hair swung down so that you had to brush it back and re-tuck it behind your ear.  “When I said…what I said, that evening…” you started.  You took a deep breath before you continued.  “I was judging you unfairly against…other people.  Other situations.  It wasn’t fair to say that.  Or to treat you like that.”  Another pause, another deep breath.  “You’ve been nothing but nice, and I…wasn’t nice to you.”

Barba snorted at that last bit.  “You’re lying.  I’ve been other things that ‘nice.’  I wasn’t nice when I fled your place that first time.”

You gave him a small smile at that.  “Well, true.  You’ve been nice, but also frustrating and annoying.”  Your smile slipped, and you added, “but more than anything, you’ve been nice.”

He didn’t say anything, so you fidgeted for a moment, picked at an invisible bit of lint on your sweater.  Then you continued.  “I like you, Barba.  A lot.  It’s just…I’m not very good at dating.  I’m unlucky.  I have…baggage…”

His stomach did a curious turn when you admitted that you liked him, but before you could continue or he could interrupt, his office door swung open to admit both Olivia and SVU’s new guy.  Dodds.  You turned, startled, at the intrusion.

“We interrupting?” Dodds asked, and Barba murmured a “no” while you shook your head.  The two detectives watched you as you nodded first at Barba, then at them, then left the office altogether.

********

You had your chance to talk to Barba, and you had managed to apologize.  You had even managed to explain yourself, a little, before SVU interrupted.

It would have to be enough.

You still felt terrible, but it was the best you could do.  Besides, in the entirety of your bad feelings, you could only afford so much bandwidth to Barba.  You had other things to feel badly about.

There was your father, locked up in Missouri.  You kept missing his calls, and it wasn’t like you could exactly call him back where he was.  You sent him a quick letter explaining that you were busy in court and not ignoring him – it was important that he knew you weren’t abandoning him.  Everyone else in your family had.

There was your case load, crushing in the best of times, but you had a case that was especially terrible.  Your client was locked up in Rikers, and half the time when you went to visit him, the guards made it unnecessarily difficult:  once your client was in lock-down, once he was put into a holding cell on the other side of the complex.  And your client shouldn’t even be in jail – he was accused of shoplifting, but he was dirt poor and couldn’t make bail.  You filed motion after motion, but you were low on the docket and in the meantime, your client was suffering.

There was your health in general:  you weren’t sleeping at all.  You couldn’t fall asleep because of your racing thoughts, and in the rare occasion that you did nod off before two in the morning, your dreams were unsettling.  You didn’t have much of an appetite anymore, and you found yourself shaking from hunger sometimes, or nauseous from low blood sugar.

And your panic attacks had resurfaced with a vengeance.  You tried to will them away, and then you tried to make an appointment with your doctor, but he couldn’t see you for three months.  So you managed them as best you could, which meant that you found little hiding places all around the city, places that you could be alone and let the panic attacks tear through you without an audience. 

When you went to SVU, there was a file room a floor up that you could hide in.  Other precincts had other places to hide – cleaning closets, boiler rooms, ladies rest rooms in precincts full of men and, therefore, rarely used.

At the courthouse, there were the stairwells.  Almost no one took the stairs, so you weathered your attacks there, mostly alone.

*****

Barba wasn’t sure where he stood with you after you left his office.  He would have tried to reassure you – maybe call you “Girl Wonder” again to let you know that you’d lost ground but that he still liked you – but he didn’t see you.  Your schedules were out of sync again:  you seemed to be on a stretch with Major Crimes, dealing with assaults and a few burglaries and other minor, petty stuff.

You weren’t at the wine bar either.  He went there more, hoping to see you, but you never turned up.

You had looked sad that day in his office, and if he were honest, he had forgiven you once you apologized.  He knew the walls you had up, and he knew the baggage you carried from past relationships.  He could have pointed out that it had been unfair to judge him against past boyfriends, but hadn’t he done the same in his life?  How many subsequent girlfriends had suffered because of Yelina?  How many relationships had ended because Barba assumed that he’d be cheated on eventually?

He forgave you because he had been exactly in the same spot you were in – but with less insight.  If you had done some soul-searching and realized what you’d done, maybe there was hope for you yet. 

If he saw you again, he’d tell you as much. 

But the next time he saw you was at the courthouse.  You were in your usual courtroom suit, but with thicker tights against the drafty building and cool weather outside.  You shoved your way out of a conference room, and you half-walked, half-jogged towards the stairwell.  You walked right past him, but you didn’t see him because your head was down.

He saw you though:  your face was wan, and your hands were balled into fists along your sides.  You shoved the fire door open to the stairwell, but in the moment before it slammed shut behind you, he didn’t hear your heels clicking on the steps.

He made his way over to the door and listened for a moment.  At first, he didn’t hear anything – but he could feel you.  You still carried that electric charge with you, and he swore he could feel it through the metal door.

Then he heard it – quiet sniffling, and shuddering, ragged breaths, like someone crying but trying to do it quietly. 

Barba considered his options – he could leave you alone, or he could go to you.  It wasn’t really much of a choice, though. 

He pushed open the door carefully, and you were standing there on the landing, leaning against the wall.  You were startled, and you looked up at him with glassy eyes.  Your wan face was gone, replaced by a flushed lividity that didn’t look healthy.  You were pulling in great gasps of air, and his first thought was that you were having an asthma attack.  Stupidly, he reached for your bag, dangling limply from your hand.  He thought maybe you needed an inhaler or something, but you slid down the wall into an awkward sitting position on the landing, and your legs were bent at an uncomfortable looking angle under you.

He knelt in front of you in alarm.  “Do you need an ambulance?” he asked, but you shook your head. 

Between your hyperventilating, you answered him.  “It…will…pass.”  Then he noticed your trembling hands, and he realized what it was.  Not an asthma attack after all.

“C’mere,” he said, and he helped you move until you were sitting on the edge of the stairs.  He laid a gentle hand on your upper back and guided your head to your knees, folding your body in half and cutting off some of the air you were hyperventilating on.  Your breathing calmed, but you still trembled uncontrollably.  Barba, for his part, just put an arm around your shaking shoulders, and he waited for your panic attack to pass.

It eventually did, and you raised your head to glance at him.  “Sorry,” you mumbled, not quite making eye contact with him.  Your voice was ragged.  He kept his arm around you, and he gave a quiet laugh. 

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked.

You gave a feeble shrug.  “It’s embarrassing.”

He laughed again and gave you a comforting squeeze.  “Sure.  Wouldn’t want anyone to know that the Girl Wonder is human after all.”

You glanced at him again, this time with a small smile on your face.  “Don’t tell anyone.”  You turned to face him a bit, your eyes searching his face, and your smile fell.  “Barba, I’m so sorry.”  He knew, from the sorrow in your eyes and the way your voice cracked on the last word, that you weren’t apologizing for the panic attack.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, and he pulled you against him in a sort of side hug as you sniffled and hung your head.

“It isn’t.  I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“Well, I forgive you,” he replied.  You sat together in a moment of quiet, the sounds of the courthouse muffled in the stairwell.  “Luckily for you, mercy is sexually transmitted,” he added with a smirk.

“What?”  You pulled away from him in surprise and turned to look at him.

“Turns out I caught it from a bleeding heart public defender,” he continued.  He grinned as the woebegone look on your face was replaced by an expression somewhere south of scandalized.  Then you laughed – really laughed, deep in your belly until you were swiping away fresh tears from your eyes.

“What’s the incubation period on that, exactly?” you asked, and your voice was shaky again, but at least it was from laughter and not panic or shame.  “Is there a cure?’

Barba shook his head sadly.  “It’s terminal, sadly.  The best we can do is resign ourselves to a life of compassion and clemency.”

You smiled at him, and then you smacked him lightly on his knee.  “How dare you make me laugh,” you scolded him.  “I was committed to feeling maudlin for at least another month.”

“Don’t do that on my account.  That’s an order.”

Your smiled widened.  “You’re not the boss of me, Barba.”

He released his hold on you and stood up, and he went and picked up your bag from the landing.  He held his hand out to you to help you stand, and he watched you brush yourself off and smooth your hair.  Then he handed you your bag, and you murmured your thanks.

“I’m not your boss, but here’s another order:  go home early and take it easy.”  He hesitated, and added, “I know that panic attacks can wear you out.”

You looked at him thoughtfully and then nodded.  “Maybe I will.”  You started to turn to leave but paused, rethinking it.  You turned back and surprised him by wrapping your arms around him for a sweetly chaste hug.  He froze for a moment and then hugged you back, savoring the feeling of you in his arms.  When you broke away a moment later, you ducked your head, almost shyly, and thanked him again.  And then you left.

-----

He finished out the day with you in the forefront of his mind.  He imagined you at home, curled up in your pajamas with a cup of tea, but then he revised the mental image.  You and he were too similar.

What did Barba do after a panic attack?  He went back to work.  He would be willing to bet his paycheck that you had gone back to work too.

Your office wasn’t too far from his own, so when he wrapped up for the day, he took a slight detour to your sad office building.  There was a lone light burning, and Barba swore it was yours.  Probably.

He dialed your cell, and you picked up on the third ring.  “Feeling better?” he asked, skipping over the formalities.  “Relaxing at home?”

“Yes,” you replied.  “And…yes.”

Barba smirked.  “So you’re not at work?”

A pause.  “No.”

“Liar.  I can see your office light on.”

Another pause, and a disbelieving huff of laughter.  “Creep.  Are you watching my office?  Do I need to call SVU on you?”

“It’s a good thing you’re not a prosecutor, Sparky,” he replied.  “What a flimsy case you’re pushing here.  Textbook circumstantial evidence.”

Another huff of laughter, and he continued before you could return his volley.  “Wrap up and get down here.  Coincidentally, I’m parked out on the street in front of your building.  I’ll give you a ride home.”  He paused and looked at the clock on his car’s dashboard.  “If you get here in the next five minutes, I’ll buy you dinner.”  He hung up.

He timed you – you were sliding into his passenger’s seat with a playful glare in all of three minutes.

*****

When Barba forgave you, you felt a massive weight lift off of you.  You still felt the sharp sting of guilt, and maybe you’d always feel a bit of shame, but if anything, you hoped it would be a caution for you to always measure your words before you spoke.

His forgiveness also made you feel something else, unexpected:  a slender bit of hope.  You knew now that you had feelings for him – you were able to admit that much to yourself.  As you sat across from him at the sushi restaurant he took you to, you allowed yourself to explore those feelings just a bit.

On the shallow side of things, he was painfully handsome.  He was amazing in bed, and you readily admitted that the two of you had great chemistry together.

More profoundly, though:  he was kind.  He didn’t present that way – he came across as arrogant and snide – but it didn’t take much to realize that he was a good-hearted man.  Maybe the arrogance was a sort of armor, or maybe it was for the benefit of his role as a hard-hitting prosecutor, but the reality was that he was unbearable thoughtful and gentle every time you fell apart in front of him. 

If you’d had a panic attack in front of Sonny, for example, you would have probably felt more ashamed of it.  But in front of Barba, there was a bit of embarrassment, but his arm around you had been comforting.  And he joked with you – and implied that he had the same issue.  That it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. 

You wondered about his dating past.  He seemed like someone who should have been snapped up and married off young, to a high school sweetheart maybe, but he led a pretty monkish life.  Aside from hooking up with you, of course.  Other than that, you didn’t know of a single girlfriend or boyfriend or casual fling, and you knew more gossip about New York lawyers than you cared to admit.

Now, at dinner, you ate and chatted like old friends.  You didn’t even talk about work – he told you about his favorite book, his favorite movie, and asked you about your own.  You realized that he was trying to get to know you better, and it gave you a pleasant, warm flush.

You realized that you were both Vonnegut fans, and you finished dinner and ordered dessert – a sampler of mochi that you split – and you argued over which Vonnegut was the best.

“Slaughterhouse-Five, hands down,” he said.

You shook your head.  “No way.  His essays are the best, and his short stories are a close second.  Harrison Bergeron?  Come on, Barba, there’s no contest.”

“His essays are so bleak,” he protested.

“And a book about reliving the firebombing of Dresden is a playful romp?”

You caught the smile he tried to hide as he raised his glass to finish his whiskey.  “Are you going to argue with me on everything?”

“Stop being wrong on everything and I’ll stop arguing with you,” you retorted with a smile.

“Hmm,” he replied.  “Let me think of something we can agree on.  What are your thoughts on politics?”

You leaned forward.  “The further left, the better.  Anarchy and free rides for all.”

He snorted.  “I’m further left than you give me credit for, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“There’s probably even some overlap in our beliefs,” he added.

You spooned another scoop of mochi and let it dissolve in a wash of sweetness on your tongue.  “So, here’s the question.  As a New Yorker, the political quandary of our time:  in the last mayoral race, did you vote for the Wall Street fat cat or the left-leaning pervert with child porn on his phone?”

His grin fell instantly, and you knew you’d overstepped, but you weren’t sure how.  Your mind raced to figure out where you messed up – Alex Muñoz had been an SVU case, but you remembered O���Dwyer in all the press conferences when it went to trial.  It hadn’t been Barba’s case…

“I wrote myself in on that ballot,” he said, and he tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

You sighed and laid your spoon down, your appetite gone.  “What did I say wrong?  I thought that was O’Dwyer’s case, and anyway, Muñoz pled out halfway through trial…”

“Alex was my friend,” Barba said quietly, cutting you off.  “My best friend.  We grew up together in the Bronx.  I supervised SVU’s case against him in the beginning.”

“I didn’t know that.”

He nodded.  “Well, there were some press conferences that called me out by name.  You probably didn’t see them, or didn’t remember.”  He winced.  “But my family did.  My neighborhood.  And they have long memories.”

You tried to think back to that time.  You remembered the press conferences, of course, because they were like any other press conference where a politician got caught being a sleaze:  contrite but vowing to fight, with a stony-faced wife standing beside him because she had to.  Muñoz had been the same, standing beside his gorgeous, disappointed wife.  But that’s all you remembered – none of the content.

“I knew his wife too.  Yelina.”  The way he said it made you look at him closer – his face was downturned as he ran his finger restlessly around the rim of his empty glass. 

“You grew up with her too?” you asked gently.

He nodded again.  “Alex was my best friend.  And Yelina…was my first love.”

“Ah.”

There was a long beat of silence.  “She thought I was targeting Alex specifically,” he continued.  “As revenge.  Because she left me for him.  Years ago.  A lifetime ago.”

You reached out to take his free hand, the one that wasn’t fussing with his glass.  You grasped it gently and gave him a reassuring squeeze.  “I’m sure she realized deep down that you were caught between a rock and a hard place, and her husband was literally caught with child porn…”

He shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  She was always blinded by him.”  He twisted his mouth into a sardonic smile.  “Alex had the charm.”  He looked down at your hands, intertwined as they were, and he gave himself a little shake.  “Sorry.  This isn’t how I planned on the evening going,” he said, and when he smiled this time it reached his eyes. 

You cocked a suggestive eyebrow at him.  “How did you plan on it going, counselor?”

He didn’t return the suggestive look, though.  He replied earnestly, “I planned on asking you out on a proper date.  I didn’t plan on rambling about ancient history.”

“Ancient history came up organically,” you said.  You tried to ignore your heart hammering in your chest at Barba wanting to ask you out, properly.  “You need to balance the scales, hear about my first love?  His name was Wayne Crawford, it was the second grade, and when I tried to hold his hand during a school assembly, he shoved me and said I smelled like hot dogs.”

He chuckled at that, and you added, “there was no press conference though.”

But you felt…trusted, like a confidant, that Barba had opened up to you, even if it was unplanned.  So you added, more seriously, “my first real love, though, was Jason.  Undergraduate at Fordham.  We dated for a couple of years, and I found out he cheated on me for most of it.”

You glanced up to see Barba staring at you, but he had a sympathetic look on his face.  You felt uncomfortable to open up, like you were exposing a raw nerve that might get irritated, but he had opened up to you.  Quid pro quo.  Give and take.  You had learned that much from your failed relationship with Sonny:  you had to open up more, take more leaps of faith.

“Well, I’m not a cheater,” Barba finally said.  You smiled at him, and he continued, a sly look creeping across his handsome features.  “And you got that hot dog smell problem sorted out now, so we’re good.”

You plucked your hand from his with as much dignity as you could muster, and you feigned like you were getting up to leave, so Barba reached out to snag your hand again, holding you tight.

“Does Friday or Saturday night work better for you?” he asked, and while he still smiled at you, his voice sounded earnest.

You wavered before you answered.  “Are you sure?  Even after what I said?”

Barba flagged down the waiter for the check, and he handed off his credit card to settle the bill.  “You don’t seem to understand ‘forgiveness’ as a concept,” he told you.  You shrugged a little ruefully, and he kept going.  “Firstly, you forgave me when I fled the scene our first night together.  You didn’t make me grovel.”

He paused as the waiter returned his card, and you watched as Barba signed the slip with a flourish.  Then he picked up the thread of conversation.

“Secondly, I have people march into my office all day, every day and say rude things to me.  I’m always being accused of being too political or too cautious, or not smart enough to find legal loopholes.  The Muñoz case?  I got it as bad from SVU as I did from Alex.  And I never get an apology.  Not a real one, anyway.”  He sighed, and you could see how his job did wear on him, much like yours did to you.

“So it was novel, getting a real apology from you,” he said.  “And thirdly, I understand now why you said what you did, so I probably would have forgiven you even without an apology.”

You hung your head a little.  “I’m so….”

“…sorry, yes.  I got that,” he cut you off to finish your sentence, his voice dry.  “So Friday or Saturday?”

When you took too long to answer (caught between wanting to see him on Friday, but worried that you’d be too tired from the work week), he casually added a third option.  “Or both?”

Your broad grin, wide enough that it hurt your cheeks to smile that wide, was all the answer he needed.  Both.

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

"She can't leave me" ... "Agatha can't abandon me"...

Consider this: Simon holding on to "me and Agatha are a sure thing" and the idea of marrying her to be part of a family not because he actually envisions himself as a married man and or a father (his true belief being that he will die in battle meaning he doesn't see himself growing up or actually marrying) but because he wants to feel like a son. The Wellbelove family is the first and only family who ever welcomes Simon, consistently giving Simon the only taste he ever had of a comfortable, perhaps even luxurious house, and welcoming adults who view him positively/"accept him"... so it is any wonder that Simon, an orphan child who desperately wants family, would unconsciously try to feel that void with them? That he would feel the only way to "secure a spot" there would be by becoming a son-in-law? That a break-up is all it takes to lose it all, even though Simon knows on some level that what he has here isn't right? (and he gives it all away in his thoughts – the dad calls him son, but not like "I think of you as a son"... the mom calls him handsome but that's all she ever says to him, etc)

Agatha breaking up is painful for many reasons that have nothing to do with Agatha herself ("the prettiest girl rejecting you means you are not aspirational and thus you have failed at proving yourself – you simply don't belong" it says, self-esteem-wise) (when it's about Agatha herself, and not what Simon has attached to her, what hurts is the possibility of losing a friendship). But what hurts the most is perhaps the feeling of abandonment. The reminder that, at the end of the day, you're still an orphan. "The happy ending is where my life will begin, it's all I've been working towards" except nothing has changed... You're nobody's son. (Except a lot has changed, and Simon is giving away that things have not been good for him thus far! even though he has been dating her for years! He has not been happy with her at any point in their relationship, which is worth highlighting because Simon is constantly happy when things are good with Baz... because he actually wants to be with him, instead of wanting thing he's attaching to him). "I have to fix this," "I'll say whatever she wants me to say," all say a lot: at no point is Simon ever wondering what he wants, he's just focusing on whatever he thinks other wants him to do so he can distract himself from the awful belief he'll die alone and lonely. That his days are numbered because he'll fight until he encounters something too big, too powerful to win against.. and that he doesn't actually want that... what he truly wants is to live to have a family. That's what the HEA represents to him.

Agatha leaving him is upsetting not because Agatha is abandoning him, but because the idea of family he could experience by attaching himself to her is abandoning him. The idea of being part of a family is abandoning him – that's what can't leave him. (Baz leaving him is upsetting, however, because Baz is leaving. A future without Baz is unthinkable because he wants to be with Baz. It's just completely different, the way he thinks about these things, and why he can easily think about "happy endings," which implies a future, while the thought of an actual future is so scary it makes him want to shit himself. It's not a contradiction because he didn't truly believe he was having a future until after he survived the events of CO, hence the breakdown that followed)

[gynnnicsworld]

So I found this sterek fanfic that has so many parallels to the teen wolf movie, BUT this fic was written in 2019.

And I really need to talk about this fanfic because 1. I don't have anyone to do it with and 2. I was really surprised by some of the parallels in the fic.

This is the fanfic; It was a wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt

Words; 80k+

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐(x∞)

Tags;

Okay, the fic has parallels but is not identical, for example, there is no Eli and I have no idea how many years later the story is set.

First I have to say that the fic is about trying to find Stiles, because he is missing, he has been missing for 3 years,and the pack was destroyed because Stiles was basically the glue that held the pack together but with him missing, everything went down the drain.

Everyone loses their mind, everyone hates each other, and Derek returns to Beacon Hills.

→The first parallel I found was that the sheriff and Derek became close and Derek basically took care of the sheriff because he relapsed into alcoholism. As we know in the movie, the sheriff and Derek get along very well and the sheriff even acts as a grandfather to Eli and a father-in-law/friend to Derek.

In this fic things become a little darker due to the sheriff's pain at losing his son and saying many hurtful things to Derek.

→ The other thing I noticed was that the pack was no longer together, each member went their own way, and the entire first part of the fic is about the pack getting together. I mean we have all these EPIC moments of the return of all the members, Kira, Isaac, Liam, Cora, Peter, Lydia, Jackson, and basically EVERYONE.

Except those who are dead, they remained exactly the same; dead, of course they remembered them in the fic, but it was all quite appropriate.

And we all know that the teen wolf movie was about exactly that, about bringing the pack back together but the movie was a million times less epic and very poorly developed 😬. Sorry but not sorry, we all know I'm right about this.

→ Another parallel that surprised me quite a bit was that Derek was a semi-owner and worked In a car mechanical workshop. And that place was really important to Derek.

To be honest it's not my first option to think that Derek was a mechanic, of course after the movie was released that possibility made sense in my mind. But I haven't really read too many fics with that theme, so seeing that the author of the fic even agreed on that with the movie was pretty impressive.

These were probably the main parallels but I guess I could say that "one call" was what changed everything for Derek. And can we please remember how in the movie Derek tells the sheriff to call his son? Yes, thank you, and I honestly think that call would have changed EVERYTHING.

I really recommend this fic, if you have already read it please tell me what your favorite part was and if you are going to read it, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUN READ IT! And then come back here so we can talk about that fic. Seriously, Jeff Davis should have opted to hire writers from the sterek fandom to make that movie...the sterek fandom knows how to do things well and they make works of art like THIS.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Count the Cost [Emily x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@lone-nyctophile) Center (@weemsicalweems) Right (@paracosmoon)

Prompt: An unspoken conversation rocks Emily and the reader's relationship when Prentiss gets shot on a case. 

Pairing: Emily x Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns. 

Category: angst/comfort 

Word Count: 5.1K

Content Warnings:  Use of nicknames [sweetheart, love, etc.] throwing up/nausea, airports, Emily getting shot, not described in detail, hospitals [waiting rooms. IV’s, medical equipment.] brief mention of periods/chronic pain/migraines.

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The dialog prompt this was based on was “There are a million reasons not to do something.” This is the fourth part of my Emily x Non-BAU!reader series. You can find Part I, Part II, and Part III here (all fics linked). However, you can read this as a standalone. You just need to know that the reader works for a senator. I had fun writing a bit of angst between these two. Of course, I hope I made the ending worth the angst. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading.  Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_y/l/n_ = your last name 

_y/f/s_ = yuur favorite senator 

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

The tiredness and dryness of _y/n_’s eyes didn’t stop her from keeping them open. There would be no sleep on the small dark cabin airplane tonight. The early morning flight to Kansas had been as unexpected as the call from a number _y/n_ had never seen at 2:47 a.m. At first, _y/n_ had thought it was just spam, but when she listened to the nurse on the other end of the line say he was trying to reach Emily Prentiss’s emergency contact, _y/n_’s stomach dropped like a stone. _y/n_ panicked, hit answer, and with a shaky voice said, “This is _y/n_ _y/l/n_. What’s happened to Emily?” There was a pause as the nurse took a moment to properly identify _y/n_, who was standing up and pacing with worry. Finally, the nurse replied, ‘Miss Prentiss was brought into the hospital about a half hour ago. She’s been shot.” _y/n_ nearly dropped the phone and said, “Shot! Shot where? Is she seriously injured, is there anyone there with her like law enforcement? She has a dangerous job. Someone might be after her. Try to kill her even.” _y/n_ realized that the last question was stupid because, generally, if you shot at someone, you were trying to kill them. But _y/n_’s thoughts were too paranoid and catastrophized to notice more than that. There was a pause that only deepened _y/n_’s fear. Finally, the man on the other end of the line replied, “Miss Prentiss was shot in the shoulder, has remained unconscious, and has lost a significant amount of blood. We aren’t sure about the type of bullet. And we can’t speak about anyone else on the hospital grounds, ma’am. The hospital is aware of Miss Prentiss’s situation.” _y/n_ took that to mean that they knew Em was an FBI agent. At this point, with  _y/n_ knowing that Emily was hurt, potentially significantly, without any idea if she was alone or not, convinced _y/n_ that she should get to the hospital as soon as possible. Even if it meant having to phone bank, raise funds for the campaign, and edit _y/n_’s _y/f/s_ speeches in a hospital waiting room. This was the first time that Emily had been in serious, medical danger since _y/n_ and Prentiss had started dating. Sure, Em had come home once with a few cuts and scraps from a fall or a scrap with an unsub. Fights that Emily always won, it seemed. But this, _y/n_ didn’t know what to do about this, as she threw some clothes into a backpack along with some work stuff. 

_y/n_ sat on the edge of her bed, the room illuminated by a single lamp, as _y/n_ looked for the earliest flight to Topek, Kansas. _y/n_ had at least had the foresight to ask for the name of the hospital from the nurse before saying that she’d be there as soon as possible. It seemed like a miracle that there was a flight leaving for Kansas at 5:00 a.m. that morning. It was a blessing, but the price of the ticket and the circumstances under which _y/n_ had to book them were like a living purgatory or limbo. Time seemed to barely pass. _y/n_ got to the airport, moved through security, and then waited for the plane to land on the tarmac. _y/n_ sent a hasty email to work letting them know that an emergency had come up, but that she’d brought her computer with her and could be accessed through email or her cell after she landed. The flight from D.C. to Kansas was no better for _y/n_’s nerves. _y/n_ had put on her comfiest _y/f/c_ sweater and kept ordering coffee after bland and burnt coffee. The acid taste of the hot liquid left _y/n_ feeling queasy and by the third hour of the flight, she was ready to be on the ground again. That wouldn’t happen for another hour and a half. Once in the Topeka airport, _y/n_ moved to the bathroom and threw up. The nerves and too much caffeine had that effect that made her body reject anything trying to keep it going. It was one of _y/n_ least favorite things about herself. 

Emily had been so worried one day after a very stressful workday when y/n_ had to run to the bathroom and threw up. Em had pulled y/n_’s hair back and then handed her a cool damp towel to run over her face. After _y/n_ had rinsed her mouth and sat back down on the bathroom floor to take a few breaths, Emily sat down across from her in the small space. Prentiss took hold of _y/n_ delicate hands and asked, “What’s wrong, love? Are you sick?” _y/n_ let out a sigh and said, “I’m not sick, sick. This happens pretty often actually. When I get very stressed, it just kind of happens.” Emily nodded and said, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. That has to be awful.” _y/n_ shrugged and replied, “You get kind of used to it, I guess.” Prentiss squeezed her hand and said, “Well how about we get off these cold tiles and make you a cup of ginger tea to settle your stomach?” _y/n_  nodded and accepted Emiy’s hand up. That was one thing about Em that _y/n_ would never get over, just how caring her girlfriend was. The warm memory washed over _y/n_, and she was reminded that Emily was now in a hospital somewhere, possibly alone. This thought had _y/n_ get up quickly and rinse her mouth in the bathroom sink. _y/n_ grabbed her backpack and moved outside, flagging down a cab. She told the driver the name of the hospital to take her to. The closer they got to the hospital, the more anxious _y/n_ got. She was almost buzzing in her seat. She was also feeling sick with worry, but there was no time for that now. At the hospital, _y/n_ paid the driver and moved into the bright light of the room. 

_y/n_ hadn’t gotten a follow-up call from the place of healing which made _y/n_ assume that Emily hadn’t taken a turn for the worse, but there was still a huge amount of dread as she approached the front desk. The charge nurse looked up at her and said, “How can I help you miss?” _y/n_ wrung her hands together and said, “My name is _y/n_, _y/l/n_. The hospital called me a couple of hours ago about my partner being shot. Emily Prentiss? Is she okay? I came as quickly as I could.” The woman gave her a soft smile and replied, “Let me check with the doctor for a moment. I’ll be right back.” _y/n_ stood and waited. The bright lights in hospitals always put _y/n_ on edge. She was more of a lamp and soft light person. Sometimes, when the lights were bright like these, _y/n_ could hear the electricity above. _y/n_ waited with anticipation when a slightly familiar voice called out, “_y/n_? Is that you?” _y/n_ whipped her head around and saw the bright colors of Penelope Garcia. A flood of relief washed over _y/n_, and she nearly ran to Emily’s team member. Penelope opened her arms and _y/n_ nearly fell into them. Garcia enveloped her in a hug, saying, “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” _y/n_ felt the panicky feeling bubble up in her and said, “I got a call from the hospital. We’re each other's emergency contacts. It sounded bad so I came right away.” An older man, whom _y/n_ had never seen before said, “I guess y’all haven’t had the talk yet.” _y/n_ lifted her face from Penelope’s shoulder and asked, “What talk?” Garcia let _y/n_ go slightly and turned her toward the man, saying, “_y/n_, meet David Rossi.” Dave gave the young woman a small smile and extended his hand saying, “_y/n_ it’s nice to finally meet you. Emily talks about you all the time.” Rossi didn’t mince his words, as he added, “You make her very happy. I’m sure she’ll be glad to know that you’re here.” _y/n_ nodded, taking his hand in hers. Now that she was here, _y/n_ was beginning to feel better, but there was still the worry, and now _y/n_ had more questions than before. _y/n_ started with the big thing, asking, “Is Emily alright? The charge nurse was just going to check for me.” Rossi let out a sigh and said, “The last we heard the doctor in charge of her care was trying to stabilize her.” _y/n_ nodded and processed the information. The next thing _y/n_ asked, because her head was buzzing with many thoughts, and not all of them were as important as the rest. So _y/n_ just asked, “What’s ‘the talk’ Emily and I were supposed to have had by this point?” 

Before Rossi had a chance to say that was a conversation that should probably happen between Emily and _y/n_, Aaron and the doctor emerged from a hallway that led into the hospital's interior. _y/n_ didn’t recognize either man, but the members of the BAU team present, Rossi, Spencer, and Penelope seemed to. Everyone turned to the two men and waited with bated breath for information. The doctor approached the group and Aaron moved to the left flank of the team. The somber leader of the BAU noticed the new edition to the party immediately but didn’t want to cut off the doctor’s statement. There would be time for questions later. Doctor Smith took a breath before saying, “Miss Prentiss is more stable now. She left a significant amount of blood and the bullet was lodged in her left shoulder. The shot was dangerously close to her carotid artery, thus the excess loss of blood. However, I’ve managed to dislodge the bullet. It was a 9mm soft point bullet. The damage could have been much worse. I gave her a transfusion and stabilized the wound. She should make a full recovery. It will take time but she should be okay if she takes things slow. I’ll let you see her when she wakes in a few hours. I’ve given Miss Prentiss a mild sedative for now.” The doctor walked away to speak to a nurse nearby. The team seemed to instantly relax, but _y/n_ didn’t take the news so well. _y/n_was shocked to hear what Emily had been through, the pain, and the near-death experience of her partner The suddenly relaxed attitude of the team also surprised _y/n_. How the group could suddenly be so calm was beyond her. _y/n_ wanted to say something, but she was cut off by the last man that she didn’t know in the group. By his demeanor and solemnity, _y/n_ had to guess that the man was the leader of the BAU, Agent Aaron Hotchener. _y/n_ was proven right when the tall man said, “Hello. I’m Aaron Hotchner. I assume you’re _y/n_?” _y/n_ nodded and Aaron took on a look of understanding. With a tone that was slightly softer than his normal demanding voice, he said, “Can you give the team a few minutes to talk, alone?” _y/n_ wanted to protest, but then realized that this was all their job, she was just here. Emily was alive, and there wasn’t more she could do here until Em woke up. _y/n_ sat down in an uncomfortable chair. The tiredness seemed to hit her all at once and _y/n_ closed her eyes. She was too far away to hear what the BAU members were saying, but the tone was serious. After the conversation, _y/n_ watched as Spencer and Rossi left the hospital. This left Aaron and Penelope standing in the hallway. _y/n_ watched as Agent Hotchner put a hand on Garcia’s shoulder, said a few words, and then pulled a cell phone from his black slacks and took a call. 

Garcia moved toward _y/n_ and sat next to her. The normally bright and spunky tech wizard held out a hand for _y/n_ to hold and anchor to. _y/n_ took it and sniffled. _y/n_ asked, “I thought you didn’t go on cases, Penelope? At least, that’s what Emily said.” Gacia smiled and replied, “I don’t normally go on cases, no. They needed my tech skills in person on this one. I’m happy Hotch, Aaron, asked me to come because I was able to find Emily in time.” _y/n_ squeezed Penelope’s hand. She knew that Garcia was as upset about what had happened to Em as she was. _y/n_ knew the whole team was, even those not at the hospital. However, Penelope showed that concern more openly. _y/n_, like Garcia wore their heart on her sleeve. _y/n_ looked at the technical analyst and asked, “Can you tell me how you found her? Is the um…” _y/n_ tried to remember the word for unsub, and it clicked. “...unsub been caught yet?” Gacia gave _y/n_ a small sad smile and said, “I can’t tell you, _y/n_. The investigation is still ongoing. I know it’s frustrating, but I can’t say.” _y/n_ nodded in understanding. In some ways, it was annoying but more than anything it was just difficult. Up until that point, Emily’s job had been something exciting to talk about. And _y/n_ did worry about her when she was on a case, but Em had never been seriously wounded while they had been together yet. But now the possibility that Emily could die, could be stripped from _y/n_ forever, every time she stepped out the door to a case, became a possibility. This was a new kind of dread that _y/n_ realized she was going to have to live with. That possibility felt like the discomfort of knowing a period was coming next week. And that menstruation could be better or worse or not happen at all some months, but the possibility was always there. At least until menopause. Or if someone had migraines or other chronic pain. _y/n_ realized how gross and juvenile those comparisons were, but it was the best her brain could come up with at the moment. There was a shift when Aaron came back, the phone still in his hand and pressed to his ear. The tall man walked up to Penelope and said, “Garcia, Morgan has a question for you.” Penelope stood and took the phone from Hotch and moved over to the corner where he had just been standing. The hospital was pretty crowded and the chair Gacia had just vacated was one of the only ones open. Hotch looked down at Emily’s girlfriend. The woman had a look on her face of understanding of what a job at the BAU really meant. Aaron pulled _y/n_ from those thoughts when he asked, “May I sit here?” _y/n_’s eyes snapped to his firm ones, and she said, “Of course, Mr. Hotchner, Agent Hotchner?” _y/n_ strumbled through the possible names to call him. Neither she had tried to work. The man let out a small breath that might have been a laugh as he said, “You can just call me Hotch, or Aaron.” There was a small silence before Aaron said, “It’s nice to meet you, _y/n_. I wish it was under better circumstances than this.” _y/n_ nodded and said, “It’s nice to meet you too, Aaron.” The next half hour was spent making small talk and _y/n_ looking at her hands or the hands of the clock slowly ticking by. As the time moved, the dread returned and Aaron could feel it like a weight on _y/n_’s frame. 

Hotch understood. Not from _y/n_’s point of view, but the other way around. He knew how it felt to leave Haley and Jack and not know if he’d see them again. He knew how those feelings for Haley had been so great that she had to step away. He didn’t blame her for that. It was clearly all new to _y/n_ and he softly said, “It’s not fair.” _y/n_ looked over at him and said in a weary voice, “What do you mean?” Hotch shifted in the chair and sighed very softly before saying, “It’s not fair for the people who stay behind. I can’t speak for Emily, but I know she understands that too.” Feeling slightly defeated by the circumstances and new reality, _y/n_ replied, “I was living in a fantasy world where she never got hurt, and that’s been shattered for me. I know fantasies are silly things and we don’t live in them, but I’m not sure how to deal with this kind of uncertainty.” _y/n_ turned and Aaron, the man Emily had spoken so highly of as the fearless leader of the team, was looking right at her. Not just right at her, but right into her, with an understanding that _y/n_ was unaware was possible. _y/n_ suddenly understood why the man was so respected. Hotch replied, “I think that’s a conversation you should have with Emily. That’s the best advice I can offer you.” It was with that last full conversation they shared before the doctor returned and told them that Emily was up now. They both stood up, and _y/n_ realized that Aaron was going to need to speak to her alone. Emily probably had some information that he needed. Hotch turned and said, already a step ahead of _y/n_, “I’ll make it as quick as possible, _y/n_. You’ll see her soon.” _y/n_ nodded. The anxiety came back to the surface. She spent the next forty-five minutes pacing the waiting room and counting the ceiling tiles. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a nurse came back and led _y/n_ to the back of the hospital. _y/n_ watched from the closed blinds as the shadow of Hotch stood from a chair near the shadow of the bed and the medical equipment. He opened the door and held it open so _y/n_ could slip into the small room. _y/n_ looked at Aaron and they exchanged a brief nonverbal “thank you” with each other. Once the door was closed, all _y/n_ could think of was Emily. _y/n_ rushed into the room and to her bedside. The brunette turned her head to see _y/n_ and tried to fake a smile. _y/n_ saw right through it as she sat down in the chair and took Em’s hands in hers. Prentiss had an IV in her arm and there were multiple monitors attached to her chest. Then there was the large bandage wrapped around Emily’s left shoulder. _y/n_ could see it under the flimsy hospital gown covering Em’s body. _y/n_ took a second to look Prentiss over and then asked, “How are you feeling, please don’t try and make it sound better than it is because, to be honest, you look rough.” Emily let out a shaky breath that _y/n_ knew to be a laugh. The sound could make _y/n_ cry at that moment. _y/n_ did start crying once Em started talking. Her voice was hoarser than usual and it sounded thin, but Prentiss said with sincerity, “Well I’m on a lot of drugs, so I don’t feel anything too much right now. Even with that being the case, my shoulder feels like a mountain either got dropped on it, or something burst out of it like Aliens or something. And there are some scrapes and bruises from when I fell.” _y/n_ nodded along noting how pale Em looked. _y/n_ was amazed that Prentiss could even speak as coherently as she was. It was a reminder that Emily could be tough as nails. However, _y/n_ could see the hints of pain in the corner of Emily’s eyes and the firm line of her mouth. She also looked tired. _y/n_ knew there needed to be some conversation between them to address what had happened with her injuries and _y/n_ being there at the hospital. Prentiss had seemed surprised almost when _y/n_ walked through the door, though it was clear that Aaron had told Em that she was there. Deciding to postpone that conversation for when Emily was a bit stronger, or at least in less pain, _y/n_ said, “Why don’t you rest for a while, Em? I’ll be here when you wake up.” Emily nodded and closed her eyes. The only sounds in the room were the soft beeping of the machines in the room and _y/n_ and Em’s soft breathing while both of them rested. 

An hour or so later the doctor came back and checked on Emily’s vitals and administered another dose of the various medications Em was on. A nurse also raised the head of the bed and promised to bring Emily some food. Once the medical professionals were gone, _y/n_ looked at Emily. They were both slightly refreshed in a way, and with the prospect of food on the way it gave them a timeline of something happening. It was helpful because time in a hospital just seemed to stretch on forever. Lunch provided a definite finite point in space. Both Em and _y/n_ just knew that their conversation was going to at least start before Prentiss’s food arrived. _y/n_ started the dialog by asking the hard question, “Am I not supposed to be here, Em? Is there something I’ve missed? The team seemed very surprised I guess when I showed up.” Emily, with her piercing eyes, looked at _y/n_ and sighed, knowing she couldn’t avoid this talk forever. She replied, “No _y/n_, it’s okay that you’re here. If it wasn’t, Aaron or Rossi would have sent you away by now. It’s just they didn’t expect you. Partners don’t normally come to see an agent until after the case is over.” _y/n_ furrowed her brow and said, “But how would I know that, Em? You never told me that. I just heard that you were hurt, maybe seriously, and I didn’t know if you were alone. How could I not jump to be here with you?” Emily nodded, knowing this wasn’t on _y/n_ and wanting to reassure her. Prentiss said, “_y/n_, you didn’t know because we haven’t had that conversation yet.” _y/n_ bit her lip wondering if this was “the talk” that they hadn’t had yet. _y/n_ released her lip from her mouth and asked uncertainly, “Em we’re almost five months into this relationship, what is this important conversation we haven’t had yet?” 

Em could see that this lack of information was distressing to _y/n_ and Emily said, “The conversation about what happens if I get hurt. If I die doing this job.” _y/n_’s eyes widened and she said, “That seems like a pretty important conversation to have. I mean, we’ve talked about the risks. I just assumed that if the hospital called I should come.” Emily looked at _y/n_ and replied, “It’s not always that easy, _y/n_. Sometimes they can’t tell you. Even if it’s bad. So bad that I might not make it. If the hospital does call, like I said, most people just wait until the case is over, or their partner lets them know.” _y/n_ struggled to process the information and said, “So if the hospital, or you, or Garcia tell me you’re seriously hurt like shot in the arm say, I just have to wait and see what happens? If that’s the norm, why didn’t you tell me that, Em?” Emily listened to the desperation in _y/n_’s voice, at the fear of being left out of such important information. Meanwhile, _y/n_ struggled to comprehend having to just wait and see for something as important as Emily’s life to be had or lost. Finding out that Emily being shot had nearly put _y/n_ into a downward spiral, having to just wait and hear if the love of _y/n_’s life had made it or not at the end of a case seemed unsurmountable. It was asking too much. Em watched these emotions play out on _y/n_’s face, and _y/n_’s expression of what she was being asked was why she had avoided this conversation for so long. Because the reality of what loving an FBI agent entailed often sent people running in another direction. To something or someone more stable. A place where the likelihood of pain and uncertainty was far less. Prentiss swallowed and said, “I let you down, _y/n_. By not telling you this earlier. At how much of a sacrifice this is. I didn’t tell you because I had been so lucky that I hadn’t been hurt before. At least not when I was with you. I suppose I was naive and just hoped my luck would keep going, but it didn’t. I also didn’t tell you because when that conversation happens it forces people to choose whether or not this is something they can take. I was careless with your feelings by not telling you. I just love you so much that I couldn’t think about losing you because of that conversation. I’m sorry, _y/n_. I’m sorry for putting you through this the way I did. What happens from here is up to you, _y/n_. If you don’t think you can take that stress, I understand. You just have to count the cost of if it’s worth being with me and understanding how it works sometimes. Just know that every time I step into the bullpen, or onto the plane, I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of making the world a safer place for you.” 

Emily realized that she wasn’t letting _y/n_ get a word in edgewise, because she was afraid of what _y/n_ might say or do. But it was up _y/n_ now, and Emily thought that perhaps _y/n_ was going to get up and leave right then and there. It had happened to her once before. _y/n_ sat silently in her chair and closed her eyes wondering if she could take it. _y/n_ did feel like Emily had kept this from her, but it had been out of a fear of losing her. Their relationship flashed through _y/n_’s mind and the love, passion, and warmth filled _y/n_ nearly to the brim. She tried to compare it to the anxiety she had felt and would feel in the future if Emily got hurt again. As painful the uncertainty was, the love outweighed the fear, and _y/n_ looked at Em and said, “There are a million reasons not to do something. A million reasons why you didn’t want to have this talk with me, a million reasons why I could walk away, but I just need one reason to stay, and that’s you, Emily Prentiss. I’m picking you. I’m going to pick you every time. But no more secrets. No more missed conversations. If we’re going to make this work for the long run, which is what I want, then we have to be honest with each other. Even if it’s conversations that are painful.” Em nodded with tears in her eyes as she said, “You’re everything to me _y/n_. I promise to tell you everything. The good and the bad, there won’t be any more surprises. I’ve never met anyone so willing to love me. To choose me over the uncertainty.” _y/n_ leaned in and kissed Em’s hand. She would kiss Em all over if it wouldn’t hurt her. 

Their brief moment of intimacy was interrupted by the nurse bringing in a plate of soft foods for Emily. _y/n_ pulled back, and the woman looked at them for a moment before setting the tray on the bed. The older woman said, “Make sure to use your right hand only. You shouldn’t move your left arm or shoulder at all.” Emily looked at the stern woman and nodded. With that missive, the nurse left them again. _y/n_ watched as Emily attempted to poke at some jello with a spoon unsuccessfully. _y/n_ couldn’t help but chuckle and Em looked at her saying, “Hey, no laughing at me. I’m injured.” _y/n_ fixed her face and said, “Well then let me help you because that jello is fighting for its life right now.” That comment had Em laugh slightly and it felt good to have their dynamic closer to their normal. Em teased, “Hey I’m a big girl. I think I can handle it.” _y/n_ sighed and took the spoon from Prentiss’s hand as _y/n_ said, “Listen, love, you’re the bravest person I know. We just had a brave conversation, now I just need you to be brave enough to let me help you, okay?” Em smiled and gave in saying, “Okay love, and for the record, you’re pretty brave yourself.” Though their relationship had been rocked, momentarily, their foundation was strong, built on trust and love that could endure hard storms and conversations. _y/n_ and Em were affirmed of their love for each other as Em allowed _y/n_ to feed her in an intimate act of caring. 

That evening when Morgan and Penelope moved back to the hospital to check on their teammate, Derek asked, “You really think Prentiss didn’t tell _y/n_ about coming during cases?” Garcia replied, “She couldn’t have, or why else would _y/n_ have shown up here?” Morgan nodded and said, “Well I bet that was a tough conversation.” The pair moved to Emily’s room and stopped. Inside the darkened space, they could see Emily sleeping while holding _y/n_’s hand. _y/n_’s head was resting on the edge of the bed and they both seemed to be at peace. Penelope softly said, “Maybe it wasn’t so hard after all.” Pen let out a sigh and said, “Let’s get a coffee or something, we should let them rest.” Derek agreed, and they let the couple rest and recuperate in the love they had for each other.

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[princess-of-the-corner]

QuirkSwap Soulmate AU

2 major thoughts, device being weird, so submission to be safe (all ideas may be altered to fit, or discarded):

1) My idea with Himiko, was like. In this, she is a year older. She should already have swapped with Hagakure and Sato. However, her parents have had her on Bond Blockers basically since her Quirk CAME IN. In addition to forcing her to suppress her Quirk, essentially starving her, they also are terrified she’ll meet her Soulmate, Quirk Swapping them, and letting everyone know about their “demon child”, so they put her on Bond Blockers. Himiko doesn’t know that’s what they are, of course. She actually thinks it’s “medicine” to help control her “deviant tendencies”. Or, alternately, to help with whatever “condition” she has (ie, BEING STARVED). Himiko basically takes the Bond Blockers until she flees her home, at which point she stops because a) she doesnt have easy access, but also b) she doesn’t actually know what the medication is CALLED, so even if she had access, she wouldn’t know what to look for. Also, as far Himiko is concerned? She doesn’t have a Soulmate. At all. Her 16th birthday came and went (her parents upped her dose that day, just in case) and no swap happened, so …

Now, I headcanon that part of the reason Bond Blockers are seen as so … is insidious the word? It’s probably not, but anyway. Part of the reason it’s seen as a “dangerous” drug, is that if you take it “recklessly”, it can seriously fuck you up. It is possible to “OD” on Bond Blockers - you won’t necessarily die, but it can really screw with your head, like the world’s worst drug trip, even make you physically ill. If you take the meds while you have an active Soulbond, it feels like submerging a part of you in a flash-freeze, it is actively PAINFUL. Which, is probably ironic, cause I see the function of Bond Blockers as “numbing agents”. They are meant to “numb” the bond, so you can’t feel it, hence their use for people with broken or severed bonds. But you have to be careful, cause the wrong dose, or the wrong kind can REALLY hurt somebody.

And one of the big things is you DO NOT give Bond Blockers to someone UNLESS THEY HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND TO BLOCK. If The bond is already in place, said bond is usually stronger than the meds. The moment you stop taking them, it snaps right back into place. But if the bond hasn’t quite “formed” yet? The Bond Blockers “numb” the part of you that SHOULD form the bond, making it anywhere from hard to impossible to actually FORM said bond in the first place. You are essentially crippling someone if you do this. I’d see it as a LAW that you cannot give out Bond Blockers to anyone under the age of 16, under threat of outrageous fines, and maybe almost 10-20 years in prison. The only exceptions are medical emergencies, and you’d better hope to hell you can prove your patient has an established Soul Bond that would have caused problems if you hadn’t given them the blockers. If you can’t, whatever happened had better have been life-threatening, and even then, it might not save you from legal, social, and financial ruin.

There’s probably a study, or famous in-universe story, about a kid who got put on Bond Blockers, and even after he went off them, his Soul Bond never kicked in. Like, he was thirty with no bonds. It had a serious psychological effect on him, (similar to how Himiko being starved makes her a little … uh, murdery?) and maybe even gave him long-term health problems. It affected the Soulmate too - his Soulmate was younger, that guy thought he didn’t HAVE a Soulmate, until these two met in person, but even the First Meeting didn’t actually awaken the Bond. The two had to physically TOUCH each other (they shook hands) for the Bond to snap into place. So, even after Himiko stops taking the Blockers, she doesn’t swap with Haga, or Sato (who can probably vaguely feel SOMETHING from Himiko, but like. Nothing actually HELPFUL). Then, during the training camp, Himiko fights Haga or Sato at some point, and physical contact kicks their bond into gear - maybe even drags the other person in too, like, chain reaction, if she doesn’t encounter them both.

I’d imagine, in addition to about 48 hours of NOT feeling like she’s been starved and left on a deserted island, the Bond also is a massive (no better phrase currently) mental boost. Like. Have you ever taken a medication that gives you something you are currently lacking, and man, you feel awesome!? Himiko is having that. For the first time in her life, she isn’t starving, and whatever part of her brain is wired for the Soulmate stuff is getting the right “nutrients” or whatever. Or Like. Chronic pain, suddenly not having it? She’s having that kind of high.

(other thought, if we go with this, and Kurogiri and Tomura are on Bond Blockers. Kurogiri already had bonds, and he’s been through A LOT, so while said Bonds need a bit to recover, they do slowly snap back into place on their own. Tomura stops taking them … and nothing happens, cause I imagine AfO was making him take these as a kiddo, so he’s having the same problem Himiko did, only Tomura has a lot of, like, justified feelings about physical touch. My thoughts are either he bumps into Spinner, and suddenly has scales and a tail, or Momo or Hana, or someone else grabs hold of him to pull him to safety, immediate swap.)

2) I like to imagine Dabi and the rest “jumping ship” isn’t exactly a smooth process. Like, “we desperately need a hospital, or us leaving was pointless cause we’ll all be dead” kind of not-smooth. So I just have the image of Dabi rolling up his house with his very beaten, bloody friends behind him, like. “Heeeeey Fuyumi, you remember when we were like, 8, and we promised we’d help each other if we had to evade the law?” And now the entire Ex-League of Villains is just hiding out at the Todoroki house. Enji and Rei would probably have more problems with this, except, ya know, turns out their son isn’t dead, and part of the reason he isn’t dead is bleeding out on their couch, so. Guess the family just got bigger.

Thoughts on the LoV’s Soulmates:

- Still a big fan of Magne/Jin, so I’m pulling for these two. They meet at the LoV, like officially meet their Soulmate, think this might be a good sign (which … debatable??). Also, I know Magne’s in-universe name is still her birth name, cause she hasn’t really been able to start her physical transition (which, again, anytime I think of her leaving the AfO Employ, that’s the first thing I see her doing), but I was thinking - do you think she just straight up changes her name to Magne? Or is that kept as an alias, and she goes with … idk, Kimika? Jun? Megumi?

-other Jin thought, that info-broker guy? Giran, I think? I’d see him and Jin as possible platonic Soulmates. Like, in canon, Giran (who seems to be aloof and strictly business with everyone) treats Jin like a friend, regularly checking up on him, going out of his way to help the guy out. He even apparently shelled out the cash and resources for Jin’s costume, and outright REFUSED any kind of repayment, which seems wildly out of character for him. And later, when he gets nabbed, Jin’s the first one pushing for them to save Giran - not because he has loads of info on them, which Tomura’s concerned about, but because “[he’s] my best friend!”. And there isn’t even his usual double line right after, saying the opposite. I don’t know how he’d survive the eventual League of Villains possibly becoming the League of Vigilantes or whatever, but I can definitely see a bond there.

-Kurogiri/Oboro, of course, has Aizawa and Mic, I see his bonds kind of … no better phrasing, fading in and out like a bad radio frequency, at least until he either regains more of his memories, or meets the two in person.

-Also a big fan of Spinner/Tomura. Mimi and I dubbed them the GamerGecko ship, and I adore these two awkward losers. If yes, then Spinner is probably feeling BIZARRE around Tomura at first, cause. Tomura’s still taking the blockers, but also, they are like. Right next to each other on the regular, their bond is TRYING, DAMMIT, WILL YOU TWO JUST BUMP SHOULDERS OR SOMETHING-!

-Mr. Compress … hear me out, but I kind of like the idea that Compress just … doesn’t have a Soulmate? Like, either he did, but they died before he ever met them, or (the one I’m thinking of) he simply never had that kind of bond AT ALL, but like. He’s fine, ya know? Ok, I realize he’s a criminal, but I mean. He isn’t super torn up about it. He doesn’t feel “incomplete” or “like half a person” or any of the other ways people describe not having a Soulmate. And it isn’t even “if he DID have one, he’d realize what he’s missing”, it’s more “if you managed to give Compress a Soulmate, he’d be ‘what the hell is this??’ about it”. Like, he’d adjust, but it would be HELLA WEIRD for him, and he would be real uncomfortable until he got used to it, which would take a WHILE. And I’m not even billing him as AroAce, I kind of see Compress as, like, the token cis, straight guy of the group? Like, Soulmate or no, he has romantic relationships. I can even see him settling down and getting married, having kids. He just doesn’t particularly need (or want) a Soulmate for any of this. As Mimi put it, if you swapped the Soulmate AU with CC, only Compress would be exactly the same. Any of this make sense?

(thoughts, feeling, opinions?)

-

OKAY SO

1.) My thoughts on Himiko:

I think I vote for the idea of her being on them but not knowing that’s what they are. Just her parents put them in her daily vitamins and such. And then she’s off them when she runs away. I do want to keep her age being dropped like in CC because it doesn’t change much except when the Soulbond kicks in. Because it’s either first meeting or when the youngest turns 16. So their first meeting would be during the Forest Training Camp Arc, which is after Hagakure and Sato turn 16. So she would’ve gone in knowing at least one of her Soulmates is invisible rather than dealing with it mid-fight.

Anyway!

Re: Saito! With Himiko not knowing she’s on the blockers, she gets a crush on Saito and because he’s either Quirkless or doesn’t have a flashy Quirk she /thinks/ that the instant obsessive crush she gets means that he’s her Soulmate because she’s a bit of a romantic like that. She does find out he’s not, but she still likes him and he likes her but yadda yadda blood frenzy and she nearly kills him and then runs away.

Himiko stops taking the meds after she runs away, but it’s not until the LoV and the discussion with Shigaraki and the same ‘idk what you’re talking about these are totally just normal vitamins’ conversation happens and she realizes what her parents were doing to her and laments the fact that she may have missed her Soulmate.

1.5.) As for the blockers! I wouldn’t say they’re seen as ‘insidious’, but because of both cultural stuff surrounding Soulmates and the fact that there’s evidence that unless the Soulmate is actively causing distress it is healthier to be with the Soulmate in some capacity. The meds themselves are less ‘insidious’ as much as there’s an instant ‘oh you’ve been through some shit’ if you see someone taking them. 

Officially, the blockers are untested on people who have yet to trigger the bond. Because of the age trigger, they really can’t get mass-experiment in people 15 and under. There’s definitely been some people who never triggered the Bond on them, but those are usually adults who /should/ have triggered the Bond.Though also yes like any medication it can be abused and overdosed on. Which is why it’s only prescribed by licensed professionals!

Now, because of the previously mentioned lack of study on it, there’s no real protocol. But they have noticed that the only time the blockers stop working is on the initial First Swap when the Bond kicks in. They still can’t feel the Bond, but it’s now active and forces the Swap. So in the case of the Shigaraki-Momo Bond, they did swap that first 24 hours! Only Momo noticed because Decay is easy to accidentally activate. But she couldn’t pull on the Bond because the blocking meds effect both parties in that regard.

But again there’s little study on it because people are only supposed to be on the meds after the Bond is active. It’s really only cases where like ‘A and B already bonded, A went on the meds, then sometime later awakens a Bond with C’, which is always rare.

So on the three being on the meds and then recovering….. I think their dosages are probably normal despite them being gotten illegally. Kurogiri and Shigaraki’s meds are through Dr. Garaki who might be committing so much medical malpractice but his other identities are licensed to prescribe them so he knows the dosages that would be okay. Himiko’s parents are getting them in a similar way: bribing doctors who know what they’re doing rather than buying them from back alleys and guessing at dosage.

Kurogiri is pretty fine. Once the meds are out of his system, the bond is back in full swing. Pretty much no issues.

Himiko has some issues but not a lot. She’s been off the meds long enough to get them out of her system by the time she runs into her Soulmates. Her end of the bond is a bit quieter and lethargic, but that’s one of the reasons the group shoves her at her Soulmates. Close proximity helps healing.

Shigaraki has like. A Lot. Because he’s still numbed out when the Bond first activates and doesn’t notice it. Then a few months later he gets off the meds and deals with the withdrawl symptoms and such. But the Bond is very quiet on his end. It’s hard for him to grasp because it’s so foreign to him and even quieter than Himiko’s is. And he can’t fix it by proximity. Especially as he has no idea who his Soulmate is or what their Quirk does or how to find them.

2.) Oh yeah there’s some difficulty in jumping ship! In part because they’re a little on the run and also they’re trying to get away from AfO’s influence because he’s not gonna like that and he’s ESPECIALLY not gonna like Shigaraki getting away. Like fuck everyone else that’s the one he’s hunting down to drag back.

re: lodgings…. I have this headcanon that I actually used for CC where Enji has a handful of safehouses planned out and used for Hero Work things. Toya knows where most of them are and how to tell if they’re in use so he just shoves the LoV members in one of those for a bit.

As for coming home that’s a wild ride because like. How many people know Toya’s alive. Because

Hawks finds out when the Soulbond re-activates after Toya wakes up from the coma and they end up swapping for a bit. Hawks told Endeavor because…. honestly he was kinda freaking out and doesn’t have many people he can go to for that sort of thing.

Enji…. didn’t really. Didn’t tell the rest of the family. Because he knows that clearly something is going on ofc. But he doesn’t know what and clearly Toya is still in danger and… if he tells them that Toya is alive only for them to lose him again……

So like. I still have Shoto get kidnapped with Katsuki in CC because AfO thinks yoinking Toya turned out great! (Himiko is already there so no need to yoink her but I might yoink Shinso? Both in general but also for this). And Dabi thinks that Shoto knows because he reuinited with Hawks who admitted that Enji knows but Shoto is like ‘hey what the FUCK????’ when Dabi shows up to let them escape (another reason he’s jumping ship from the League).

So ofc Shoto called Enji out on that when he got home and now Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo know too but they’ve had like a day before Dabi shows up with Himiko under his arm and is like ‘hey you might notice a safehouse active that’s totally fine ignore that’.

3.) LoV Soulmates!!

Okay yes Magne/Jin! They’re having fun because they’ve had the Soulbond active for years but never ran across their Soulmate until now and are very much riding a honeymoon phase about it.

Kurogiri is having his weirdness in like. Because of the blockers he assumed his Soulmate must be dead as he didn’t feel them. Once he stops the blockers the bond clicks back but it’s. It’s like a lot of things with his other Amnesia qualities. There’s plenty of muscle memory but not a lot of active memory so some things he does on reflex and it feels so familiar but also he has no idea what he’s doing.

I am 100% here for the GamerGecko but I’m also here for 1.) Soulbonds that are platonic and 2.) romances that aren’t Soulmates. So we have the Tomura-Momo Soulbond and idk who Spinner’s is yet but it’s also something platonic but then the gamergecko ship still sails.

Honestly while I can NOT see Mr. Compress as straight, I do agree that I can’t see a Soulmate with him so yeah I’m rolling with him not having one due to them dying before the Bond triggered. But also yeah while there’s people who feel absolutely devestated by the loss or feel like they’re missing out, there’s also plenty of people who cope really well and feel fine! He’s never even considered the blocking meds he just kinda rolls with whatever. Maybe when he was youger he felt more out of place about it, but mostly he’s just fine.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Looking at your username: what is it about the Wen Kexing character that grabbed you? And are there any more recent BL characters that you feel similarly about?

Ohhhhh Ginny, I love you for this question.

I just have a massive soft spot for monsters. I think the monsters we see in stories are often so complex, so interesting, so hurt. The reason my username is wen-kexing-apologist is because Kexing did nothing wrong (I say this partially in jest). I love when the wrongs a generation, a family, a society has done to someone is what fuels their rage, I love when characters decide to embrace the label they have been branded as and use it to destroy the very thing that created them.

And I love when people see past that rage, that pain, that loneliness and are able to reach out a hand to it, and to love the person who has been buried underneath the fate that others pushed upon them.

WKX was a child who lost his family violently, whose family had been betrayed, who was taken in by the ghosts, stripped of his memories, and abused. Then when he got old enough he set off to kill everyone that had done him wrong. To destroy the martial arts world because they had destroyed his life and happiness.

[And as an aside, I love when stories allow for personal slights to be compared to the ruining of nations. In this case, that justice for Wen Kexing can only be served when the whole martial arts world has burned for what they let happen to his family.]

There are many other characters that work like this for me, who are outside of BL: The creature in Frankenstein, Nimona in Nimona, James Flint in Black Sails

In BL, honestly, I haven't seen that many BLs with characters that have the same vibes, they don't tend to have the time to unpack those types of characters. That said, I have such a soft spot for Vegas in KinnPorsche and Charn in Laws of Attraction (although that is technically a lakorn).

Getting way too personal here for a minute, I know how much room within me I need to store my rage. The rage I carry with me every day scares the fuck out of me, it is something I never want to unleash, because there have been moments in my life where I've let just a fraction of it loose and I know how good it felt. There are reasons, beyond just the fact that I am a massive fucking nerd, that swordfighting is my sport of choice, and some of that has to do with the fact that violence is the point. You aren't tackling someone to get a football, you aren't accidentally connecting shins to steal a soccerball, you are learning in swordfighting very specifically how to duel, how to fight, how to draw blood (but you're doing is safely, with protective equipment, and weapons made as safely as possible). All of which to say that there is a part of me that worries I am capable of channeling the level of rage characters like Wen Kexing have, and it is extremely comforting to me to see those characters heal, and to see those characters be loved by people who have seen the worst parts of them.

Perhaps it is conceited of me to say that I watch media so I can see myself in others, but that is so much of it for me. Seeing my relationship to one of my parents played out in Jam and Li Ming's relationship the first time we see the two of them on screen in Moonlight Chicken, the relationship I have to my other parent in the complexity of Sawsimol and Wang's relationship in 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us. It's why I have a soft spot for Sand in Only Friends taking care of people who have shit on him, because I am a compulsive caretaker, who has given care to people who have treated me like shit. There are just terrible parts of me that recognizes the terrible parts of characters like Wen Kexing and finds comfort in that.

Also, Wen Kexing just serves major cunt, which is the only excuse anyone needs really.

[alexanderlightweight]

Prompt for Wednesday, if it pleases 💜

I know you literally just posted marriage of inconvenience, so totally get it if you don’t wanna think about it anymore, but I am obsessed, fascinated, been thinking about it all day. I especially love that we got Magnus’s take on things, and also Jem taking one look at Alec and being like “lmao Magnus of course when you steal a Nephilim you pick top shelf”

The actual prompt—what is everyone else’s reaction!? Jace, bereft of a sucker to tie Clary to? Maryse, mother-in-law to Magnus Bane. The Clave, suddenly missing their scapegoat/fix it guy? How does the warlock community take Magnus suddenly being married/bonded after like four hours of conversation. Do the NY shadowhunters loyal to Alec (because we love a competent, well-loved and respected HOTI Alec) think Alec’s been enchanted or are they just happy he’s with anyone but Clary?

And, of course, any Malec post-fic vibes you have are always loved, valued, and appreciated.

i actually wrote half of it three years ago and the rest just recently when my health got better, so i'm not exhausted with it or anything, but thank you for checking that's incredibly sweet. i actually really love that verse and have filled a few other prompts for more of it so this was fun and I finally tackled a non malec pov for this fic. i hope you enjoy!

also please remember Jace is an unreliable narrator dealing with a lot of trauma and also self-denial. he thinks he's in love with his sister and he's really struggling with that. A LOT. he canonically doesn't think of alec's feeling and wellbeing until last or when alec's injuries pain jace (which he doesn't have in this verse). he's so caught up in clary and wanting clary that he can't even try to understand why alec would be upset with marrying her when it's all jace wants/ed.

--

Jace is pacing frantically through the Institute halls.  

Alec hasn’t been seen since he went out for a lone patrol and reported everything was fine and that he was marking some new streets that had been renamed.

That was fine.

Everyone knows that Alec is trying very desperately to spend as little time as possible in the Institute because of the impending wedding.

Which is just selfish to Jace.  

Alec gets to marry Jace’s sister. The girl Jace thought he could love, Clary. Who is absolutely amazing and perfect and Jace still wishes, sometimes though he never lingers on it. 

But Alec is acting like he’s being stabbed through the heart and tortured or even deruned.  Jace has never seen him so miserable in their entire life and he doesn’t get it.

He wishes, once again, that Alec hadn’t backed out of their parabatai bond. That Alec hadn’t made the excuse of, ‘we want different things and positions in life, Jace’.  Like it was that big of a deal that Jace had no intention of someday being a Head of Institute or Consul or Inquisitor or some higher position like Alec wanted. Jace would be happy to be a commander, but he also wasn’t fussed about when it happened. 

Sure things got a little boring, but commanders had more paperwork and weren’t sent out on as many missions. Jace wanted to wait before he stuck himself half-behind a desk like Alec was trying so hard to do.

So in that way, he had understood a little, that it would have been hard when Alec achieved his goals and went to Idris and Jace stayed at whatever Institute he was a part of. It had hurt though, the rejection and this hurts even more. They could finally be brothers, since they aren’t parabatai.  They could call each other brother and it would be recognized and if Jace can’t have Clary then the only person he would want to, is Alec. 

“Izzy!” He calls when he sees her.  She’s been hot and cold since the marriage was announced.  Acting like she’s both thrilled Clary is going to become family and also guilty, avoiding Alec who isn’t even talking to her. 

Which may be why she’s avoiding him. Izzy hates it more than any of them when Alec shuts them out.

“Jace.” And she’s not smiling, she hasn’t been smiling much unless Clary or that mundie pest of Clary’s is around. “Have you seen Alec?”

“No, I was just about to ask you. Any ideas? He should have been back by now, even if he did spend all night out alone to avoid everyone, it’s noon. He never stays out this late.”

Izzy looks as worried and miserable as Jace feels and he’s about to suggest they go talk to Hodge when a fire message appears out of the air and Izzy snatches it with whip-like reflexes. 

“It’s from Alec.” She sounds relieved but instead of a smile her face twists further into a frown.

“What is it, Iz?” Jace asks leaning close over her shoulder to peer at the note. It’s weird, Izzy still feels more like his sister than Clary and he wishes he could figure out how to have that kind of easy, sibling relationship with Clary.

He’s hoping it will be better after Alec marries her, he would never covet Alec’s wife. Couldn’t, it would be too big a betrayal of the bond they share and have nurtured since childhood. That Alec was and is the only one Jace would tie his soul to, because he wants Alec to be tied to him in return.

To always be Alec’s little brother, to be protected and cared for the way Alec has always done for Izzy and Max and Jace once he became as close a Lightwood as he could come.

“He’s not coming back until the day of the wedding, apparently he’s decided that he just needs a few days to himself.”

Jace wants to hit something, preferably Alec at the moment.

“So what, he’s just going to leave before the wedding? What is Clary supposed to think about this? Did he even think about how she’s going to feel?”

“I’m pretty sure you’re more upset than Clary will be,” Izzy says slowly, watching him carefully. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay! Alec is ruining this for everyone, why can’t he just stop for a minute?”

“Hey!” And Izzy sounds upset now and Jace hates it when she’s upset. It reminds him of her when she was eleven and crying because Jace wasn’t handling the transition of living with the Lightwood’s very well. Alec had told him that if he ever made Izzy cry again, Jace could forget Alec being his brother, because he wasn’t going to be a brother to someone who purposefully made their siblings cry. 

“Alec didn’t choose this. Remember! This was picked by everyone but him.” And Jace recognizes now what the guilt he’s seen on her is from. “If he needs a few days to wrap his head around not getting a choice, then he gets them. No tracking him, Jace. I’m serious.” And Izzy clips off, only her hands clenching and unclenching again and again betray her guilt and what Jace thinks might be shame.

He does feel a little bad, but not enough to be guilty. 

Anyone should be honored to marry Clary, Jace’s sister. Alec is just being stubborn because he and Clary butted heads when she showed up. Once Alec’s back and the wedding has happened, things will be fine. Better than fine, they’ll all be family.

[arpmemething2]

Loony Tunes Sentence Starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.  Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

“It’s supply and demand! They supply the ghost, and I demand the money!”

“And remember, 'mud' spelled backwards is 'dum'.”

"Go ahead! I’d love to see the audience boo you off the stage!”

“Consider yourself as lucky because you are getting another chance from me to draw a gun.”

“Go on! Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers and gunpowder and cordite!”

“Jumpin' without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?”

“Don’t think it hasn’t been a little slice of heaven…’cause it hasn’t!”

“I do so enjoy observing the flora and fauna of that tiny planet.”

“I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque!”

“You know, sometimes me conscience bothers me… but not this time.”

“It just goes to show ya that a one-eyed jack rabbit can beat a king.”

“I didn’t say I would be nice. I said I would try. It was too hard.”

"He’s about as sharp as a bowling ball."

"What's up doc?"

“Oh dear, now I shall suppose I have to use force.”

“Help me, please. I’m too moist and tender to retire.”

“Okay Okay I'm shuttin' up. Why should I continue to keep yappin' when I'm told to shut up. I'm not the kind that don't know when to stop.”

“Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!”

“I wonder what the poor bunnies are doing this season?”

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive!”

"What a perfect time for me to go on a diet."

“When I say whoa, I mean whoa!”

“Brace yourself for immediate disintegration.”

“I don't want to be grown up anymore.”

"You wasted a wish! I wish that burrito was stuck on your big dumb nose!"

“Carrots are devine… You get a dozen for a dime, It’s maaaa-gic!”

“The way I run this thing you'd think I knew something about it.”

"Sssshh... Be vewwy quiet.  I'm hunting wabbit!"

"Champagne nights, tropical music and a heavy bank account!"

"Thufferin' thuccotash!"

“I’m in my own little word. But it’s okay, they know me here.”

"You rack'n frack'n varmint!"

“Oh, drat these computers. They’re so naughty and so complex. I could pinch them.”

"Well, it's 5 o'clock somewhere."

“Do you happen to know what the penalty is for shooting a fricaseeing rabbit without a fricaseeing rabbit license?”

“Wait! I haven’t tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I’m still begging here!”

"Cats don't lay eggs. There's something screwy here."

"Of course you realize, this means war."

"His muscles are as soggy as a used teabag."

“I know this defies the law of gravity, but I never studied law!”

"Looks like the boy genius is tryin' to show me up."

"It was a terrible storm, the boat wocked and worked up one wave and down the other."

"You're despicable."

"If you're gonna be two-faced sweetie, then atleast make one of them pretty!"

"F-f-first they told me to lose the stutter now they tell me Im not funny anymore. "

“Well, what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?”

"That's all folks!"

"I don’t know the meaning of the word fear!"

"Beep beep!"

"I don't ask questions, I just have fun."

"Hungry!"

“Just when I’m getting used to the voices in my head, one of them starts stuttering.”

"Say your prayers!"

“Me? Normal? How dare you insult me like that?”

"You know, it is possible to be too attractive."

"I am positive, I am mental and I know I have attitude.”

“I’m not like other people, I can’t stand pain, it hurts me.”

"I tawt I taw a puddy tat!"

“Well, what do you know … there’s the little Wiener Schnitzel now.”

“If you’re happy and you know it, you're probably annoying someone who isn’t.”

"This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!"

"Who's responsible for this unwarranted attack on my person?"

“I'll be scared later. Right now I'm too mad.”

“If an interesting monster can’t have an interesting hairdo I don’t know what this world is coming to.”

“You say the Loch Ness Monster is living in your jacuzzi? Well, call Roto-Rooter!”

“I hate it when people are at you house and ask, ‘hey do you have a bathroom?’ No not at all...”

[braveclementine]

Chapter 2

Warnings: Mentions of break in, slight physical abuse, Readers under 18 can read this book. It is solely fluff- nothing sexual

Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.

.❤️.

"𝕯𝖆𝖉?" 𝕴 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 as I walked inside the house. There was no answer. He must still be out. Full moon had been last night and he usually traveled so that he was far away from Muggles and other human beings. I rushed upstairs so that I could change and have dinner ready before he came home.

I'd gotten the job at the snack bar a few days ago and I was full of excitement. Of course, Dad didn't know but that was alright. I could slip the money into the money jar every so often and he wouldn't notice. Well, hopefully he didn't notice. There were a lot of holes in my plan.

I got into Muggle shorts and a tank top. I quickly checked Dad's room to see if he'd possibly fallen asleep. He wasn't in there- but I hadn't ever really thought he was. Then I leaped back down the stairs and went into the kitchen.

We didn't have much left in the cupboards. I was going to have to go grocery shopping tomorrow before work. No wait, after work because if I bought meat, eggs, and milk that would go bad waiting in the sun while I was working. Yes, I'd go after work was over.

I threw something together, not really paying attention. Dad still wasn't home when I was finished and I started to get worried. He was usually home by now. I looked out all the windows. It was starting to get dark and there was no sign of him. He was usually back before the sun set and it was nearly down.

I put lids over the pots so the heat would stay in and keep the food warm, and went out the front door. I walked a little ways towards Trang's house and then walked back the opposite direction. There was no sign of him.

The uneasy feeling in my stomach grew more profound. Had a ministry Wizard or Witch seen him last night? He wasn't a registered Werewolf, almost no one registered themselves voluntarily. It wasn't mandatory for him to be registered either, so he wasn't breaking any laws. . .but still. . .why was he taking forever to come home?

There had never been a problem before, he was always home before it got dark out so that I was never worried. He knew I would be worrying.

I went back to the house and called out for him again. There was no answer- he hadn't come home while I was out. It was nearly dark, the sun had almost completely set. Then the door opened some minutes later and I rushed to it before skidding to a stop. It wasn't dad.

The man was tall and pale with blue eyes. His hair was curly and long, perhaps a bit past his ears. He had stubble under his jaw and chin. He was wearing a black buttoned down shirt, looking a bit like the type of guy in a movie that's good looking but the villain. He looked slightly surprised to see me and quickly covered it up with a scowl.

"Who are you?" I demanded angrily, though in reality I was scared.

"Alright look, I have no need to hurt a little girl like you. Sit down and we won't have any problems" He sneered. He wasn't British, he had a thick Scandinavian accent. Why the heck was he here?

Robber, I thought. Lovely. He strode towards me. I took a step back. He lunged at me and instinctively, I raised my knee towards his groin. He grunted in pain and his arm came down across my face.

I yelled and fell to the floor. I had never been hit before and though I had always expected it to hurt, the pain still came as a shock. My cheek was throbbing.

"Stupid kid." He muttered, standing back. There was something funky about his movements. "You weren't supposed to be home."

"It's not like my dad has anything valuable." I snapped, standing up quickly. "So get out." I could feel my cheek throbbing. It was going to need ice quickly or it was going to swell up and leave a mark.

He laughed, brushing me aside. "Old houses like these always have something valuable. Something passed down through families generation by generation. Something that, even though they live in a crappy house, don't want to sell for a couple thousand bucks because its a family heirloom. You know what an heirloom is little girl?"

"Of course I do." I snapped. "I'm not stupid." God I sounded childish. We didn't have valuables. We didn't have heirlooms.

He attempted to grab my wrist and I punched him in the gut. Since I was in the corner, I took the advantage to dart under his arm and run for the door.

"I don't think so." I felt pain shoot through my scalp and fell backwards. I gritted my teeth so I didn't scream.

He grabbed my arm and yanked me off the floor and threw me onto the couch. "Now just stay there. No funny business."

I gritted my teeth, waiting for him to turn around so I could make a run for it. If I could get into my dad's bedroom and get the door closed, I could lock it and climb out the window onto the roof. The door was made of solid oak. He wouldn't be able to get through it very easily unless he had a chainsaw.

Did he have any weapons? That would make escaping much harder if he had a gun. He seemed clumsy though. He could miss his shot. Was I willing to take the chance? I tried to think through escape routes and different possible scenarios logically. Or, as logically as a ten year old could think through it anyways.

If only I had a wand I could stun him. Of course, I didn't know the stunning spell or the killing spell or really any spells at all. Dad rarely used magic around the house, letting me do chores by hand.

He turned around, scanning the shelves, but kept glancing over his shoulder every millisecond to see if I was still there. I settled into the couch, it was going to be a long night. Or, I could speed this up. I sat forward. I really didn't learn from my mistakes. I was a very stubborn child.

"Like I said, my dad doesn't have anything, so clear out." I said, standing up. I crossed my arms.

He crossed the room and towered over me. He was extremely annoyed. He also must've been about six feet. He took my by the shoulders and shook me. "Damn it kid. You don't know what you're talking about."

Stupidly, I kicked him in the knees and he threw me to the floor. I felt my glasses fall off and heard them break. Oh, bloody hell.

My left eye was a little blurry but my right eye was still clear and I looked around for my glasses. They were underneath the couch. I didn't need them to see, only to read. I glared up at him. "Stupid robber." I mimed him under my breath. Apparently, he heard me.

His face turned purple with anger. He took two steps towards me, his fist raised, and then I heard, "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER."

I looked over to my left and saw Dad standing there with his wand pointed at the man. His face was red and his hair was windswept as though he'd run fast to get here. I'd never seen him so angry.

The man laughed at him, "And what are you going to do with that twig, mister." He bent over me, grabbing my hair and pulling me to my feet. I threw my hands up instinctively to grab my own hair and yelled out in pain, squeezing my eye shut. What a knee jerk reaction. Squeezing your eyes shut didn't stop you from feeling pain. I could feel a motion from his body as though he was reaching into his jacket pocket.

He's going to pull a knife, isn't he, I thought. He didn't have time.

"STUPEFY." Dad yelled. The man let go of me and fell to the floor, stunned. Dad stormed over, pointing his wand at the man, hesitating.

Then he turned to me, taking a few steps forward, "Are you alright? How did he get in the house?"

I got to my feet uneasily, shaking. I fell into him and his arms wrapped around me securely. I'd never felt more safe in my entire life than right now which was funny because I was shaking from fright. "I left the door open, I went looking for you. I didn't know if you were hurt or not. I must've left the door unlocked. I'm so sorry." I sobbed, openly crying now. I'd never been so scared in my entire life which was funny because I felt safe.

"It's alright." He murmured, smoothing my hair and I hiccupped and did my best to stop my tears. "Everything's fine."

I pulled away gently, sitting down on the couch. I wiped my cheeks, embarrassed. My knees were still shaking. "Can I have some ice?" I asked. "For my cheek?"

Lupin went into the kitchen and brought me back ice. I put it on my cheek. Lupin looked at my cheek, observing the bruising. "It'll be fine. It'll probably clear up in a day or two if you keep the ice on your face. Remember you have to alternate it every twenty minutes."

I nodded, closing my eyes. I was suddenly very tired. "Dinners on the stove." I murmured. Then I drifted to sleep.

.❤️.

𝕴 𝖜𝖔𝖐𝖊 𝖚𝖕 in my bedroom a little disoriented. Bless dad, he must've carried me up here. He shouldn't have. He was going to end up hurting his back. I sat up slowly in bed, squinting at the alarm clock. 10:01. Crap, if I didn't get a move on I was going to be late for work.

I threw aside my covers and quickly got dressed in denim jeans and a T-shirt. I slipped my feet into my flip-flops. Turning around, I quickly made my bed.

Rushing downstairs, I found my dad in the kitchen. Well crap, I hadn't thought about him being home today.

He looked up over his tea. "Oh good, you're awake."

I didn't respond to his smile. "I am so, so sorry about last night. I was such an idiot. I was thinking of other things and I just left the door unlocked and I'm so sorry." Tears rose up in my eyes again and I turned away quickly. How immature of me. I was ten for Merlin's sake. I shouldn't be crying anymore.

I heard dad get up from his chair and his arms went around me. Slowly, he settled back in the chair and I was sitting on his lap like I was five. But suddenly the bothersome idea of immaturity disappeared. I was safe.

"You don't need to apologize." He said. "Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone learns from them. I don't want there to be any tension between us so I need to talk to you about something else as well."

I nodded. I moved my face so that my chin rested on his shoulder.

He sighed and then said, "When were you going to tell me that you had gotten a job at the pool?"

I cringed. "Never." I answered truthfully.

"Why?" He sounded almost amused and I took this to be a good sign.

"Well. . . you didn't want me to get a job." I said. "But I was worried because you had lost your job and I wanted to bring in a little money, at least until you got a job. I know you're worried about my studies but I'm keeping up with them, I swear. Plus, once I get my Hogwarts letter and my booklist and I get the books I'll start studying those too. I promise that I will. I just wanted to help and I'm sorry I did it behind you're back."

Dad openly laughed. "Well at least you're being honest now. But Elizabeth, no more secrets alright."

I scowled but he didn't see it. "Okay then, where were you last night?"

He sighed, the good humor gone. "The pool manager stopped me on the way home last night. Wanted to talk all about the good work you're doing in the snack bar."

I looked at him, "Now tell me the real reason."

"I'm being dead serious." He said, even though I knew he wasn't. Even with this lecture about honesty he wasn't going to tell me.

"Dad!" I half laughed, pulling at his shirt.

He stood up and swung me around, setting my feet back down on the floor and bopping me on the nose. "I am being serious. Now then, you have work today, correct?"

"Yes."

"Alright, hurry up and get to work then. Connections are important and references are even more important in the future." Dad sipped his tea, "I should know."

I grinned at him, glad this conversation had gone in a good direction, though I was curious about what he was hiding. I hurried into the kitchen and helped myself to the eggs and bacon that was still on the stove. I poured steaming hot water into a cup and added a tea bag. Looking in cupboards for sugar and honey I asked, "Hey dad, what did you do with the man last night?"

"Nothing that he didn't deserve." There was that hard note of anger was in his voice again. And yet, there was something thoughtful on his face.

I refrained from asking anymore questions about the man. I looked at myself in the mirror while setting the plate down. The bruise on my face looked weeks old. Dad probably did some healing spells or put some medicine on it while I had slept.

I scarfed down the food and put the dishes in the sink. "I'm going grocery shopping after I get off work, okay?" I asked, bending down and kissing him on the forehead.

"Sure, but be safe, okay?" He asked, his brow furrowing. "Maybe take Trang or Kat along with you."

"Right!" I said, and I hurried out the door. I looked up at the bright yellow sun. Today was going to be an amazing day.

If only dad would tell me what was going on.

⬅️➡️

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Longass Crop Circles Notes (I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter Two):

I don't want to talk about how many weeks these notes have been sitting in my notes app because I couldn't bring myself to go through them yet. My sincere apologies @spicymiilk

-Ah that incredibly relatable feeling when you want to get to one part of your story and you have to force yourself to slog through to get to it. It happens to us all.

-KIRI AND LO’AK GOING TO SPECIAL SCHOOL WHILE NETEYAM IS REGULAR IS SO FUNNY TO ME. Poor Lo’ak I’m being so mean to him. But you really want their asses GONE gone.

-Calling Jake a white man and saying he can’t understand their hair is so funny. Dude NEVER helped with ANY of his kids hair ever??? He’s never done Neytiri’s for her because he’s her bitch? Come on Jake, I expected more. Even I’ve done my cousins hair a few times. Maybe Spider will fare better?

-Obsessed with the way Neteyam is about his morning routine and solitude, it jives so well with my opinion of him. He’s got to have things his way, and under his control. Taken care of well. He’s going to have a field day with Spider. I see we are already leaning heavily into Neteyam’s "I can fix him" complex. Even when he wants to help Jake, which I know is something wheelchair users don’t often want if it’s something they do all the time themselves. It’s the innate feeling of standing by and doing nothing while watching someone struggle, when it’s their day to day life. And if that isn’t Neteyam’s whole thing? I’m obsessed with how he just cannot handle anyone else’s bad vibes without trying to fix it right away. Speaking of;

-If there is not a moment where Jake allows Neteyam to help him when he needs it, I will throw myself off a bridge, Andrei. ~growth~ the opportunity is there and it’s ripe.

-JAKE AND NETEYAM BANTER, I did not realize I was in a drought until I got a little bit of rain and I realized I was DYING OF THIRST. PARCHED FOR THEM.

-Jake “Detective” Sully: You are gay, son, try not to be too gay to the new foster kid you stalk at the local Micky Ds.

-I am literally obsessed with My Father Jake Sully who was neglected and hurt as a child being the most desperate man alive to connect with and heal kids in the same situation he was in. It fits so so well in his character for me. I feel like he spends most of his life trying to heal old wounds and make up for the past, in a way.

-Neteyam “I thought this kid was named Miles for years but I guess legally on his birth certificate it def must say Spider because it couldn’t be a nickname, that’s for sure” Sully

-I am CACKLING at them both lying to each other about McDonalds as though they both don’t know exactly how often the other one is there because they both find the other hot I’m dead.

-Spider mad at Norm for enforcing child labour laws has me wanting to make memes about it. The children truly do yearn for the mines.

-All the tiny little details of how Spider focuses on the people around him, on their moods and their movements and the way his brain works is so well done. That survival mindset takes years and years to unlearn, if you ever can fully. It’s well done as always.

-OH MY GOD EVEN NEYTIRI ALSO THINKS NETEYAM IS BEING TOO GAY THIS IS AMAZING.

-Justice for Jake, I will get him one of the cars paralyzed people can drive. Also his joke about driving Neytiri up the wall? HE’S A COMEDIAN. GET HIM A NETFLIX SPECIAL.

-Spider can’t look at Tuk because he was close with a little abused foster girl, where is the nearest bridge. NO REST FOR US, ANDREI?? ALL THE PAIN AND TRAUMA POSSIBLE CRAMMED INTO ONE EPIC.

-God the line about Spider’s therapist saying that his habit will lead him down a dangerous path, but he doesn’t understand why because he only ever hurts himself because he doesn’t see damage to himself as damage because he doesn’t see himself as worthy? Not worthy of the phone, of food, of attention or love? Truly my fav paragraph of the chapter. You are a master at establishing a character in a few subtle lines. It's a tactic that I only get after a few rewrites; instead of saying "Neteyam wants to fix everyone" you show us him in a situations where he wants to and can't help. Instead of telling me Spider doesn't care for his own safety, you tell me he's confused by his therapist saying his coping is dangerous. Instead of saying emotion, tell me something that would make me feel that emotion. Writing 101, and yet so hard to pull off properly.

-I laughed out loud at Neteyam trying not to look at Spider’s muscles I am dying. Neteyam should ask him out loud.

-EVEN TUK HAS IT ON LOCK, SHE SAYS NETEYAM HAS A THING FOR PEOPLE WHO SOUND A LITTLE SAD. This is so not funny but so funny because it’s all specifically for me.

-Neteyam later in life is like that dumbass gum commercial where the guy reveals he’s been keeping the gum wrappers every time the girl gives him one and drawing on them when and where she gave it to him? That’s Neteyam when the piles and piles of smiley face receipts fall out of his trench coat pockets.

-“I didn’t realize that was you” filthy liar. Spider’s smiley face drawing rizz is crazy. You bet your ass he wasn't doing that to every fuckers receipts.

-WHAT ON EARTH IS LO’AK DOING AT SMART PERSON SCHOOL, EVEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANDREI.

-THE CUTE BOY AT THE WINDOW ASKED FOR HIS NUMBER? AS IN, SPIDER, PHONELESS SPIDER, OR ANOTHER SNEAKY BASTARD BUTTING IN.

-Also these people have real memory problems, I’ve never forgotten any awkward interaction I’ve ever had in my entire life, especially not with a crush. I couldn't hear my crush at a party last year and I just laughed and said yeah and she was like "no I asked what you think" and not a single day goes by it doesn't play behind my eyelids like the DVD in The Ring. So, unless Spider has asked every single man at McDonalds out, he remembers when he asked a guy out and the guy sped off like he had a warrant out from Dominic Toretto.

-Oh my god, it was Spider. And this man sURVIVED that encounter? This man who can’t survive a strong breeze rn? What was he going to do with number, call him from phone booths? Send smoke signals to the write telephone wire? I am cackling at the idea that he had rehearsed this so many times and yet never actually thought through not having a phone.

-The smiley face on the paper. That revived Spider from his death post awkward encounter. There will be smiley faces on the invitations to their wedding and only Tuk will understand.