#i will never. never ever be okay about coe day 4

[doctorwhoisadhd]

friend who has just finished s1 of torchwood was just talking about how jack is to ianto what the doctor is for jack. and they fucking said "and as someone who shipped jack/doctor i am trying to figure out how to make it not feel bad for ianto"

oh no bestie.......

[atonalginger]

Thank you for the tag @silurisanguine ! this looks like fun :)

okay let's see

1) How many works do you have on AO3: 10 works atm

2) What's your total AO3 word count? : 104.077 works

3) What fandoms do you write for? atm It's Starfield and Saint's Row crossover with Joe Ledger. There will be more (ominous music plays) eventually

4) Top five fics by kudos? The Starborn Saga, Rekindling the Heart, Work-Life Balance, (I'm very new on a03 and a large chunk of my fics have been up for less than 24 within slumbering fandoms)

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?: Most of them I do. Sometimes I can't think of anything to say because I'm a shy overthinker but I try to respond because its so exciting to hear from readers and have conversations about the work.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None of my fics currently end angsty (only one of them has ended) but chapter wise it would be either chapter 44 or chapter 58 in Starborn Saga. Those are left on heavy angsty notes.

7) What’s the fic you write with the happiest ending? The Starborn Saga :)

8) Do you get hate on fics? I have not.

9) Do you write smut? Yes I dabble with spicy things. Starborn Saga is a Romance Novel. I'm rusty, as I had avoided writing smut for a while, but I'm back. My smut usually goes with the plot but could be skipped if someone wasn't into that sort of thing. I've also just written smut for the sake of smut but never posted it. (who knows maybe I'll dig that stuff up one day if I'm bored)

10) Do you write crossovers? Yes! My Saint's Row series 'A Tale of Two Bosses' is a crossover fic with the Joe Ledger book series. The Santo Ileso boss is Joe Ledger, if he went into crime instead of the force.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of...

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Not, not that I'm aware of

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have brainstormed but never co-written anything. Much like SiluriSanguine I am too much a control freak to be able to pull that off.

14) What’s your all-time favourite ship? Just of all time, regardless of whether I've published it or not? Shakarian (Shepard x Garrus Vakarian). Sam Coe x starfarer is up there too.

15) What’s the WIP you hope to finish but doubt you ever will? O_O so many...so many you have no idea the extent of my compost bin that is old WIPs lol. I'm trying to break that habit though.

16) What are your writing strengths? This is hard to answer. I think I'm good at building a character and developing their stories and Dialogue. I'm also starting to accept that I can in fact write an interesting action sequence but I don't know if I'd call it a strength just yet.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Grammar and burning out.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I tend to avoid it because I'm worried I'll mess it up and I don't want to offend. If I'm going to use another language google and native speakers are referenced.

19) First fandom you wrote for? O_O oh gods that I wrote down? I was daydreaming stories for so many things but my first written story was in Saints Row. I'd just never thought to write them out and let them play in my head like daydreams and one day it hit me: write this down. Those stories are lost on a forgotten harddrive now but hey, I'm still playing in one of those sandboxes.

20) Favourite fic you’ve ever written? I'm kind of partial to The Starborn Saga. It's my first fully completed work and I'm really proud of what I did there. That feels like cheating to say but that story is what got me to put myself out there and be proud of my work so yeah. Thanks Starfield/Sam and everyone who liked it and made me feel all warm and fuzzy

20 questions for fic writers

thankyou @poetic-poltergeist for the tag!! <3 (starting a new thread as the other was getting looooong.)

okay let's see

1) How many works do you have on AO3

23 currently!

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

245,631 and counting...... (as i new chapter of a fic should be going up any day now)

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Starfield, Deus Ex, Vampyr, Dishonored, Thief and one for Destiny2 at the moment.

4) Top five fics by kudos?

Savages, Paradigm Shift, To See Beyond Forever, Starry Starry Night and Take me Away from All this Death. (would love to see some of my Starfield fics get in here by next year! ).

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always do, comments fuel me! Seriously the serotonin boost from getting a comment is often exactly what i need to keep writing.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Shattered Reflections i'd say. (but chapter wise, it's my new one Chasing Your Star..._

7) What’s the fic you write with the happiest ending?

That will be.... [redacted].

8) Do you get hate on fics?

First fic i published on Ao3 got a unsolicited crit. One point was valid but the other i thought was unwarranted...and in fact incorrect anyway. But other than that, i've had nothing but positive comments.

9) Do you write smut?

haha.....oh ...OH YES. But always with plot and in context of story.

10) Do you write crossovers?

Yes i have one crossover right now - Emerging Shadow (Dishonored/Thief), but i plan another -( deux ex/ Assassin's Creed).

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Probably by AI.....

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, i dont believe so.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, i'm too much of a control freak for story telling, though i do work with others to work out plot points sometimes.

14) What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Named ships? Emsider and McReid.

15) What’s the WIP you hope to finish but doubt you ever will?

Im not jinxing anything. I WILL finish all my fics. It just might take a while...But i doubt i will write any more for the Destiny fandom.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Story telling and scene setting I'd like to think.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Expanded grammar and finishing stories.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I try to find someone who speaks the language natively to help me with any foreign dialogue i might add.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Xena, Warrior Princess. Back in my Live Journal days.

20) Favourite fic you’ve ever written? I have to admit i have a soft spot for Obsidian Dreams and Take me Away from All this Death. But i am absolutely loving writing Chasing Your Star Until I Find Home. I tag - @lakritzwolf @eridanidreams @bearlytolerant @atonalginger @fangbangerghoul @booburry @toxiclizardwrites @aro-pancake @aislingdmdt @onewhoturns @lisa-and-shadow @thatsgoodsquishy0 @despicablediet @themortalscout

[captains-simp]

hi!! can i please request “waking up from a nightmare” from the situation prompts and fluff prompt #4 with yelena? thank you :)

I wasn't sure if you wanted R or Yelena to have the nightmare so I went with what I thought was best. Feel free to request again if you want it the other way around

"Wake up, dammit!"

Warnings: nightmares and implications of PTSD

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dreams had never really bothered you. They were strange scenarios you barely remembered and seemingly never had the connection to real life everyone said they did. Generally, you were unaffected by them.

But Yelena? Yelena was a different story.

You knew she was haunted by her past. That the ghosts of the people she had killed crept up on her at the worst of times, as did the finer memories of everything she had ever done both in and out of the Red Room.

You reassured her whenever you could. Told her she wasn't just good, but one of the best. Certainly one of the most genuine and caring people you had ever met. You told her she meant the world to you too. Comments like that were whispered to her in the night when it meant the most. When you weren't just cowering under the cloak of darkness, but wanted her to hear you clearly in the most vulnerable of times. And so she could have the chance to say it back.

That night was particularly bad for her. She was stuck in the memory of one of her worst missions. One that broke her heart to think about. But not just that, judging by the whimpers and small muffled cries she gave into the pillow, you knew it shattered her very soul too.

"Lena." You whispered over her sleeping form. You always hoped it wouldn't take much to wake her. You were nearly always wrong. "Yelena." You said more firmly as you placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. You didn't want to startle her more.

Still she didn't wake. Her whimpers were getting louder and her sweat ridden body convulsed as she fought off the memories of her violent actions.

"Wake up!" You said louder, becoming increasingly worried and distressed. Murmers left her lips incoherently but you could make out small words. 'Stop!' 'No!' 'Didn't mean to' 'I'm sorry!'. You could have sworn you felt your heart break with her.

"Wake up, dammit!" You cried out and finally Yelena opened her eyes with a start. She went to grab the gun she always kept under her pillow but you had already put it on your nightstand, not wanting her to hurt herself.

"It's okay!" You assured and reached out to her gently. "Baby, it's okay. I'm here, it's just me." You started to coe as Yelena's frantic eyes finally met yours in the dark and she visibly calmed.

She shakily bought her hands up to cup yours face and you held them back as you whispered words of reassurance in the dark. It took a while for her to calm, a while of you both sitting like that and slowly creeping towards each other in search of the other's embrace.

"I got you, it's okay." You said again as you guided both your bodies to lay back down on your bed. You stroked Yelena's hair and kissed her forehead as her trembling eased off.

"I did something terrible." Her voice broke as she spoke and you clenched your eyes shut to hold back tears at her words. It was heartbreaking to know after all that time she still blamed herself. When she hurt, you hurt with her.

"It wasn't you." You told her.

"But I-"

"It wasn't you." You defied and the blonde fell silent. "It wasn't the girl I know. It wasn't my Yelena." You told her and her grip on your waist tightened. You knew she struggled to believe you, but you would keep telling her until she did.

"I don't want to go back to sleep." She whispered. She still had a hard time being vulnerable.

"That's okay." You whispered back and reached for the remote to turn on the TV. Neither of you would be watching it, it would just be background noise.

You didn't have any plans for the next day so being sleep deprived was okay that time. You and Yelena would be bound to take numerous naps together the next day.

"Thank you." Yelena said so quietly you almost missed it. "For staying." Your heart ached at her words again. It was more than understandable she never expected anyone to stay because no one ever did. Except you.

"Always." You promised and kissed her forehead again. "You're not getting rid of me easy." You teased and felt her chuckle softly against your chest. You could never fully describe how much she always made it swell with love.

[hollyhomburg]

You make me Happy

(Hybrid! Jungkook x Reader)(Drabble) 

Summary: When Puppy Jungkook finds out you’re depressed, he makes it his mission to make you happy! ...with a little help from the others.  Tags: Depression, references to not eating due to depression, night terrors, allusions to polyamory- specifically Hoseok x Reader x Puppy! Jungkook x Cat! Jimin x Cat! Yoongi W/c: 1.9k A/n: well- I sent this over text to @peeachypop last night at like midnight and then woke up and made it a full little Au! hope you guys enjoy it! happy birthday, Jungkook!

Like okay, imagine puppy! hybrid jungkook who is a little nieve, and Doesn’t exactly understand how the world works cuz he grew up on a farm and never lived in a city until he was adopted by the reader. 

The city is so nice!!! With so many interesting smells and foods that make his mouth water and things that he hasn’t experienced like VR clubs and coffee shops and bars- not that he really ever gets the chance too because his new owner is a little bit of a recluse.

And you don’t really keep a lot of yummy things in their fridge but you let him order anything he wants! “Oh my god, this is the best you mean I can call talk to someone on the phone and then food shows up! That’s magic!” And maybe you don’t really eat a lot of it but like! Jungkooks never spent a lot of time around humans so he doesn’t immediately register it as an issue. 

And on the days that Jungkook manages to convince you to go out of your apartment it never lasts for long because the sick sticky smell of anxiety clings to you, and Jungkook can only tolerate so much distress from his owner before his protective instincts kick in and he takes you home. 

There are other things too, nights when you hold your head in your hands or he hears you crying in your bedroom. or how listless and sad you seem, how you seem to pull away some days and go silent or answer Jungkook’s many questions with one-word answers. 

there are better days too- when you take Jungkook to the hybrid park and seem genuinely okay for a little before you get bad again

he finds a few old photographs pushed in the back of a drawer- you smiling with a man who seems a little reserved. and when he asks you you snatch the photo from him and push it back away where you don’t have to think about him. “my ex” 

Jungkook is confused, “you mean your mate?” Jungkook doesn’t understand because aren’t mates supposed to be forever? he relays as much and you shake your head a small smile playing on your lips. “not usually, though if you’re lucky they are,”  

“Why did he leave? did he-” Jungkook tucks his chin in, suddenly embarrassed because you don’t talk about this- about why you don’t get out of bed some days and why you always look exhausted and worn out and shakey. “Did he leave because you’re sick?” 

and maybe it would have offended you before, but Jungkook is looking up at you with such worried eyes, so Ernest and careful. You hesitantly reach a hand up and rub over his ears scratching around the base of him, and his tail starts wagging up a rhythm against your couch. 

“I’m not sick Kookie I just have depression” and he tilts his head to one side because he Doesn’t know what depression is and you explain it like “it’s just when someone gets really sad sometimes or all the times okay?” he nods quick, because that he can work with, that he understands. 

Jungkook makes it his mission to make you happy. He’s just trying to be a good hybrid and he loves you so much, you deserve to be happy!

So he does everything to try to keep you smiling, doing more house chores and making up elaborate games to play with you. The day he takes a bath and starts blowing bubbles in the water (i mean have you seen those videos of german shepherds blowing bubbles and getting so happy and like yipping at it? that’s Jungkook) and you giggle so loudly that now every time you give him a bath he does it. 

he even starts to sleep in your bedroom too! because one night he hears you crying and can’t leave you alone. He whines and nuzzles into your cheeks, licking away your tears a little and running a hand through your hair, because humans need pets too, and you actually let him comfort you, bury your head in his chest and sob. 

He knows enough that sometimes you just wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, has woken up to the sound of you crying and come to scratch at your door before you started to let him in. 

He starts sleeping in your bed and sometimes you grumble a little and hover, a few inches away not sure if he wants to cuddle, and he always snuggles up to you and grins, kissing your cheek and making you blush and smile shyly before you shut off the light. And on those nights when he can hold you close- safe from sadness in his arms- he feels accomplished, feels like he’s making you better. 

Sometimes he knows he fails. sometimes you wake with shadowed eyes and immediately go back to sleep no matter how Jungkook tries to pull you out of bed. on those days he feels powerless and like he’s not making a difference at all. 

One day you take an afternoon nap because for some reason you’re just too tired today, and Jungkook decides that oh! He can go get you some snacks at the conscience store across the street! He’ll be back before you wake up and then you can wake up to something sweet. And maybe you’ll give him one of those small sleepy smiles and you’ll eat it in his lap while he plays video games in your living room. 

And he doesn’t really understand that hybrids aren’t supposed to be let outside in their own. It’s not exactly against the rules but like, if he was causing trouble he knows that he would be picked up by hybrid control. And though the shop keeper gives him a weird look, he lets Jungkook peruse the small isles of snacks for a few minutes before he comes over- it’s pretty quiet after all. 

Eventually, he asks him if he needs help and Jungkook is like all pouty because as much as he’s wracking his brain there are just so many choices and Jungkook doesn’t want to choose wrong. Jungkook explains to the shopkeeper, he looks like he would know. he’s got a kind smile and auburn hair that curls against his temples and a little enamel pin of snoopy and a little purple horse pinned to his work shirt.

“I don’t really know what my owner likes and I’m just trying to make her happy” and the attendant nods along like it’s the most pressing issue of the day, “I see, well you could always go for something sweet?” he smiles, and it’s so charming, so bright too, it makes Jungkook blush, and suddenly a lightbulb goes off in Jungkooks head. 

“I know what would make her happier!!! You definitely would!!!” Queue Jungkook dragging a confused Hoseok over to your apartment and you being shocked and concerned when you open the door (Jungkook forgot the code again) because you never thought Jungkook would like- bring in an actual stranger to your apartment to make you happy.

But Hoseok is so chill about it and just laughs it off “it’s okay really! I was gonna take my break anyway- and he seemed like really concerned about you too. And I have a hybrid of my own so I know how protective they can be/”

And he lingers in the doorway, before you offer him a cup of coffee- better than the stuff they make in the convenience store, and he accepts (luckily you favor the to-go cups when you have to go to work) and you sit and talk about his hybrid for a moment (a cute kitten hybrid named jimin who according to Hoseok used to pout for hours whenever Hoseok had to leave for work.) before he has to get back to work. 

 but before he leaves he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cookie package or something and he’s like, “oh yeah he said you like things that were sweet and I don’t have time to eat anyway! by the way, if you ever want to stop by and talk about hybrids my schedule is-” And maybe Jungkook sees the way you smile at Hobi and thinks “mission accomplished!” 

And takes you by the store whenever Hoseok works sometimes for ramen 4 times in the same shift. And of course, you meet his hybrid who ends up becoming Jungkook’s best friend! even though you remind him that like- best friends don’t help each other through heats and ruts, or kiss on the couch, to which Jungkook replies, “Then why did you and hobi sleep together after you went out drinking to celebrate his new job? and you help me with my ruts all the time and how are we not friends?” which makes you change the subject verry verry abruptly 

And then a few months into your sort of friendship Hoseok finds injured hybrid Yoongi in the alleyway behind the store and brings him to your place because its closest.

and then maybe months later when Yoongi has moved into your apartment and Hoseok has gotten a better job and actually moved into the apartment across the hall from yours (all so he can coe-own hybrid Yoongi with you- and not because like- he wants to be closer to his friend who he like might have a crush on). 

Maybe you’re just washing dishes or something with Jungkook drying them and putting them away, and both kind of lamenting because its almost been a year since you adopted Jungkook. 

And Jungkook says something about the time you used to be sad because like- thankfully you’ve gotten a lot better, and he’s a little wistful and a little insecure because he feels like it was all of them who made you happy and not Jungkook. 

And he says something like “well the others are what makes you happy so I don’t know why you’d want to go on a date just us too on the night that Yoongi and jimin are going out to a movie with hobi,” 

and you’re like stunned, because you thought Jungkook knew how much he meant, you’re instantaneously like “Jungkook, you make me happy all the time, without even meaning too, everything you do makes me happy, even when you just like, sit next to me on the couch or hold my hand I’m happy” 

and Jungkook just legit bursts into tears and pulls you close, because really- he had absolutely no idea that he did and it makes him so over the moon. And he just like, happy cries into her shoulder and they sit for a while and end up going and getting chicken by the river or something for their date and to celebrate and Jungkook’s a little sniffly all night and holds you close because like yeah- you make him super happy too. 

and you know, no matter what happens with the others, as long as you have Jungkook you’ll be happy too. 

[thelittlesttimelord]

I had so, so many questions for DW Universe question game. Sorry if I trouble you. Number 3, 6, 7, 9, 11, 17, 18, 21, 24, 28, 30, 31, 34, 36, 37, 40, 42, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 51, 53, 56, 61, 64, 68, 70, 72, 75, 77, 78, 79, 81, 84, 88, 91, 92, 94, 95, 96, 100.

Well, here we go!

3. First DW episode you ever saw? 

I can’t actually remember. I know I kept seeing pictures of “Let’s Kill Hitler” on Pinterest and memes from series 6, so I just started watching. I started with Nine, so I’m pretty sure the first one was “Rose”.

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child? 

THE FUCKING SCARECROWS from “Family of Blood/Human Nature”. I fucking hate those things. The mannequins from “Rose” and the Snowmen are a close second though.

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid? 

I didn’t really understand River’s story the first time around. I still don’t really, but it makes a bit more sense thanks to YouTube videos.

9. Who introduced you to DW? 

Like I said, I kept seeing things on Pinterest and started watching because of that.

11. Who is your Doctor? 

ELEVEN. But is anyone really surprised?

17. Best multi-Doctor story? 

50th Anniversary, but only because it’s the only one I’ve seen.

18. Best Doctor monologue? 

Shit. That’s a hard one. It’s a tie between Eleven’s final speech and Twelve’s angry one during the Zygone two-parter.

21. Favourite companion? 

Unlike most people, I really like Clara. I also love Bill. I wish she’d had more than one series.

24. Best TARDIS Team? 

Eleven, River, Amy, and Rory. I love their little space family.

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t? 

Oooo. I don’t know. So I’ll answer it this way, I would’ve liked to see some companions from RTD era meet Eleven.

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now? 

Twelve. I stopped watching Doctor Who when Eleven regenerated, because I didn’t like what I saw in “Deep Breath” clips. When I went back and rewatched, I slowly fell in love with him.

31. Favourite episode ever? 

The Doctor’s Wife. I love seeing Eleven and his TARDIS interact. So many good one liners!

34. Best two-parter? 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead. Mostly because of River and the Doctor’s interactions. It also hits a lot differently now that we know River’s whole story.

36. Episode that will always make you smile? 

Vincent and the Doctor. I struggle with depression and anxiety, so I connect a lot with the story. I also live by the quote about life being a pile of good things and bad things.

37. Episode that will always make you cry? 

It’s a toss up between Doomsday and The Time of the Doctor. Doomsday because of that final scene between Ten and Rose and Time of the Doctor because of Eleven’s regeneration.

40. Favourite Christmas special? 

A Christmas Carol. It’s so bittersweet and I love the song at the end. Although I also kinda like Last Christmas because Twelve is such a mood.

42. Favourite series? 

I really love series 4, because of the shit Donna and Ten get up to. They have the best dynamic out of the Doctor/Companion relationships.

45. Favourite series opening? 

Eleventh Hour. It’s a perfect opener for Eleven. It shows off his personality and how much he will come to care for Amy.

46. Favourite series finale? 

I really like The Pandorica Opens/Big Bang.

47. Best series arc? 

I have to say “Bad Wolf” because none of us saw that coming. It was subtle and it was really clever.

48. Thoughts on series 11/12? 

Looks okay. I haven’t really watched it. I’ve seen clips and Thirteen seems like a sweetheart and Graham is a straight up MOOD.

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen? 

Absolutely none. I’ve seen clips here and there in YouTube videos and I know some storylines, but other than that I know nothing.

51. Favourite monster/villain? 

Probably the Daleks. But only because they’re so stupid sometimes. Like in Victory of the Daleks...HOW THE FUCK IS A DALEK GONNA MAKE TEA?!?!?!

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Weeping Angels.

56. Monster you want to return? 

I’d love to see the Doctor face off with the Midnight entity. Maybe she’d handle it a bit differently...

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures? 

Torchwood. I’ve never seen it, but I feel like I’m too grown up for the Sarah Jane Adventures.

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

I think given the choice, I’d probably rewatch Miracle Day because I know what happens in Children of Earth and it breaks my heart(s).

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish? 

I want to read some of the comics, but they’re hard to find in physical form. I have read some of the novels and I listen to Big Finish. I will take my Doctor Who in whatever form I can get it.

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)? 

Oh yes. Those are my favorite kinds of videos.

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music? 

Either Eleven or Clara’s theme music. Eleven’s theme is so epic, while Clara’s is flighty and whimsical.

75. Favourite Doctor outfit? 

I’m a sucker for Eleven’s classic tweed and red bow-tie, but i also like Twelve’s look in series 9 (the old rocker look).

77. Best show runner? 

I feel like if I answer this, I’ll be shot so I’ll say each show runner has brought something different to the show (whether that be good or bad). They’ve left their mark in a unique way.

78. Best writer? 

Neil Gaiman, hands down. Or maybe Mark Gatiss. I love every one of their episodes.

79. Best opening titles?

Series 5. I hate the voiceover Amy has in series 6.

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor? 

Chicago in the 20′s. I’d wanna meet mobsters like Al Capone.

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with? 

Donna or Martha. I feel like we’d get along pretty well.

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet? 

Anne Boleyn. I admire her so much.

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW? 

Maybe the French Revolution. Don’t know why. I just think it’d be cool.

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW? 

Maybe more about sexuality. We have Jack, who is Pansexual and Bill, who is a lesbian. But they kinda just go “this is this character’s sexuality and that’s that.” I’d like to see them go into it a bit more and maybe have companions with different sexualities. Like maybe an Ace companion. Or have a Transgender companion. I guess just more diversity really.

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to? 

HOW DOES JACK BECOME THE FACE OF BOE. I need to know this before I die.

95.  Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor? 

Tom Hiddleston. Because if he kept his natural hair color, the Doctor would finally be ginger.

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

I’d like to see another American companion (besides Jack), but I’d never really thought about it.

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do? 

Well Gallifrey “stands” now right (disregarding what the Master did in series 12)? I’d like to see the Doctor go back to Gallifrey and maybe find his family. I’d like to see his Timelord wife and maybe his children because they’re not dead now. I really just want the Doctor to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

[braincoins]

Rules: answer the prompt and tag 20 blogs you would like to know better!!

I was tagged by @duckydrawsart! ^///^ And I forgot until you did this that YOU AND I SHARE A BIRTH MONTH!! *already scheming*

Wow, 20 blogs? Um. NO. How about... @yliseryn, @pyromon, @fenarri, @kilerya, @rainwindandstars, and @tuptaju? Only if you want to do it, and if you want to do it and you don’t see your blog here, it’s in digital invisible ink, and I totally tagged you.

Nickname(s): Socks, and sometimes still Kat

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Gemini

Height: 5′4-and-3/4″

Time: almost 6 PM

Birthday: The day after Voltron Season 6 drops!!! :D

Favorite bands/artist: Hoo boy, we’ll be here a bit. Um, off the top of my head:

DEADLIFT LOLITA, Abney Park, Aerosmith, Seanan McGuire, Måns Zelmerlöw, Epica, Lindsey Stirling. I also listen to a lot of soundtracks, especially Disney ones.

Song(s) Stuck in my Head: Right now I’m going back and forth between Six Pack Twins by DEADLIFT LOLITA and You Never Even Called Me By My Name by David Allen Coe (aka the Saltiest Country Song Ever Written xD)

Last movie I watched: I... actually don’t know? I put movies on in the background almost daily. Though lately it’s been mostly documentaries or mini-series. The last I watched in theaters was Infinity War

Last TV show I watched: “Trollhunters” season 3. 

What I post: Mostly random stuff I reblog from others, but occasionally VLD/Shallura fics :) 

Do I get asks: Not on a regular basis. Usually only when I say I’ve opened ficlet prompts. ^_~

URL Meaning: Okay, I am a “Hamlet” nerd. Act 3, Scene 4, Queen Gertrude says to her son, “This is the very coinage of your brain.” In other words, “You’re imagining it.” (with a heavy implication that he’s nuts, because this is Hamlet, of course) And I post about the things I imagine (when I’m not reblogging other people’s stuff). “coinageofmybrain” was too long for a URL, so: braincoins. :3

Average hours of sleep: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Nationality: USofAmerican. NOT CANADIAN. Though I totally understand why people think I am. xD

[amaliaonly]

Introspeksi 2016: Ziarah (Part One)

Let’s see how do I start with Ziarah? The event that changes everything and the start to a never ending commitment. The event that shaped me to be the person that I am. The event that I lead for the first time on a very big scale not knowing of the possibilities and venturing into the unknown. This is Ziarah part One.

After Iman was over, I don’t recall having any post production blues with the other cast mates or crew/subcomms like how I felt after the next 4 years of Intro (it can either be the best or worst kinds of feelings ever). So after Iman ended, I wasn’t sure if there will be another Introspeksi the following year in 2016. There wasn’t any discussions about it, no AAR or whatsoever. They only thing each of us had to do was write an email to the PDs on why Introspeksi should still continue and what are the good/bad experiences from Iman. I am not sure if that email still have in the archives of the Introspeksi Gmail but there were some saltiness in there haha but of course I wrote on how we should still continue this event. Again no follow ups after that email and there were no updates. The 9th exco continues to be busy back to back with our events back then which was Halaqah, Project Giveback, Macritchie Hike, Member’s Night, Networking events and to prepare and close for our term and last event which was AGM. So I didn’t give much thought to being PD after Iman then came this one night. On the last few days of 2015, I always have this habit to write the things I have achieved so far for that year and write the things that I was looking forward or things that I planned to do the next year. This is where I took a piece of paper and wrote down the things, travel plans, activities that I plan to do. One of the things I wrote was to go Summer Abroad in 2016 and the other one is… yup taking the role of PD for Introspeksi. So in the month of December 2015 I wrote down the names of people that I wanted to work with for Introspeksi. The first name that I wrote to be in subcomm was Shaik Zabir then secondly was Audi then in no particular order after that was Kak Nab, Shazleena, Luqman, Sha, Fatimah, Hanif, Raudhah, Fareez & Nizam. They are the ones whom I want them as my subcomms and alhamdulillah after some convincing almost all of them agree then came in my other half of the subcomms (will mentioned later). Of course not forgetting Abangmok too.

So in January 2016 was the month where I had to find successors to take over my role in the excos. I was also being asked to continue exco as VP/P for the term 2016/2017. Nobody offered me to be the PD or takeover Intro though boohoo but I know deep down being Project Director for Introspeksi was something that I really wanted over continuing to be VP or P for MCMS. After weeks of meetings and talks I finally told my very awesome, wonderful and strong women President Hiddy back then that I don’t think I can continue the exco term and my reason was that I was going Summer Abroad for 2 months but I think all I wanted to tell her is please I wanted to be PD of Intro instead and please let’s continue Introspeksi.

Then came FEBRUARY 2016. No plans or discussions whatsoever if Introspeksi will continue that year. Then came the week of my AGM. I don’t exactly remember when or how or which day but this conversation happens in the car between myself, Atikah (my awesome Islamic VP), Hiddy (my awesome President) and Fazi (my awesome finance officer and incoming President 2016/2017). I think we all were from buying stuffs for our AGM then Atikah strike a conversation saying that I should continue Introspeksi. Then I said to her that there were no confirmation or whatsoever from the previous PDs. Then she said that it’s not their event anymore and it’s up to the Upcoming President to decide if they would want to have Introspeksi under their term. So Fazi being there hears the conversation that I asked her if I could continue. After much discussions in the car she gave me the half green light that I could continue Introspeksi that year in the presence of Hiddy and Atikah. Thus with no official handover or whatsoever and with no confirmation, the week after AGM I was all out in crafting the plans for Introspeksi all by myself without knowing who my APD was because it was being undecided on who should be APD. I crafted the roles for my subcomm, the message, vision and mission for Introspeksi etc. I crafted proposals after proposals on my own. Made my own recruitment collaterals. Then after the 10th exco had their first meeting and I think they already plotted their COE I was introduced to Asyraf. Someone whom I have never worked with and someone who I have never to that much.

March 2016 was when it all begin officially. Let me say it here to let all my other PDs from 2017, 2018 and 2019 know when Ziarah was started. MARCH 2016 OKAY (hehehe). I have Asyraf as the one and only confirmed member of the subcommittee as APD and we both officially started work together after the March Open House event. So here comes Introspeski 2016: Ziarah part two. Ziarah is my own definition of Dream, Believe and Make it Happen! Till the Second post of Ziarah. Happy Wet Weekends guys! All my love, Fitri Amalia

[simontams]

HEY NAT NAT BEN BEN WHAT ABOUT TORCHWOOD 🔥🔥🔥

I feel personally targeted. And I want that in writing.

Okay here goes nothing. *Rolls up sleeves*.

Warning: Will likely evolve into a long, in-depth, Torchwood analysis

Favourite Character:

I’m half asleep as it is and you go and encourage me to talk about Ianto Jones, who is not only my favourite character in this show, but probably overall.

The question is, can I pinpoint why?

Can I articulate how much this character genuinely means to me without just giving up and keyboard smashing at like 2am?

Okay, to start with, he’s not in the first two series an awful lot, however much I try to convince myself otherwise, but the development he does get is credit-worthy. And I think from the start, I was won over by his priceless expressions, sarcastic humour and sweet demeanour. Yet, throughout my numerous rewatches, the occasional bleaker episode, and low-key audio addiction, I’ve learned that there is more than meets the eye and maybe that's what makes him so interesting to me- All characters have more to them that originally assumed but there’s so many aspects to Ianto’s personality that slowly reveal themselves that you cant possibly know everything. You keep on learning and wondering about his past, his motivations, his true feelings- I’ve seen on countless occasions people labelling him as overrated and simply seen as that outside innocent coffee boy (sure, its the button on the top), but I think his clear popularity could be because a lot of people, dare I say, relate to him?

One of my favourite things about the Doctor Who universe especially and, in turn, Torchwood, is that it is real, it has real characters who have real emotions and real flaws, which shouldn't be excluded as they only add to their human degree of complexity- what would the series be without returning home to a concerned Jackie Tyler for a cup of tea every once in a while? without seeing characters reach behind that innate curiosity at the science-fiction and occasionally express fear at what is uncomfortable and unknown?

Doctor Who is not about aliens, it’s about people- and Ianto Jones is no exception. And in some ways, he can be the most human of them all- his excitement and confidence when he’s viewed as Jack’s boyfriend, his maintained calm exterior that he chooses to present to the world, his friendship with Tosh and the others, his weird habits and his humour, right up until his brutally heartfelt death scene.

 Ianto Jones is one of the only characters that I am sure will remain this close to my heart, and I constantly switch between connecting to him and marvelling at how much more there is to see. Not to be too deep or over-exaggerated, but under everybody's excitable obsessions with TV shows, bands, books- there's something that genuinely helped them learn more about themselves and grow as a person behind it, they represent a certain time in that individuals life and that has to be appreciated- in the same way, that can be said for my attraction to Torchwood as a whole and towards Ianto as a character.

Second Favourite Character:

Now that we’ve accepted me as a high-key, over-the-top teenaged fan, hence somehow continuing reading, let’s move on to the impossible choice of, who do I prefer more: Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper or Jack Harkness? (I’ll mention my  Gwen angst later).

Firstly Jack, will always, in my eyes, be one of the most deep and fascinating characters from what I’ve seen of the franchise as a whole- the contrast between the self-assured and flirtatious alien, the darker side of his immortality, and even the earlier con-man interpretation of his endlessly gripping character. Some of my favourite aspects of him in Torchwood are when we see him through his own outlived eyes; his loneliness or anger or even fragility, the latter being especially in regards to his relationship with Ianto and his over-arching knowledge that nothing lasts for him. And while he will always be one of my favourite characters in general, this one is a close call and I regret to view him as anything less than such- but I’m gonna have to go with Owen.

But first, let me appreciate Tosh- underestimated, brave, intelligent and affectionate Tosh, who is so close to Owen in terms of my tribute, it was near impossible to choose between the pair- in fact it still is and if asked this another time I would probably change my mind repeatedly. She tries so hard to gain approval and security, she's just genuinely lovable...and she did good.

I know Owen- apparently I’m having an Owen day- is disliked by the best of us in season 1, and some still after, I mean he is outwardly an arsehole, he's even aware of such, and the way he treats others including Tosh is inexcusable- but it’s season 2 where I genuinely fell in love with him, if not, mid-way through the first season after seeing the affects of Diane’s departure and his more sensitive self. Because like I said before- these human qualities, however negative, only add to him as a character.

When all the ‘dying drama’ goes down we realise how truly fragile he is, and in Fragments we see this to an even greater extent pre-torchwood: he's had a bad time of it, to say the least. And I will place him in second place after Ianto primarily due to this drastic turn and the realisation that he is such a prime example of ‘messed up and imperfect yet completely misunderstood’ and deep down, one of the most sensitive and caring of the lot.

I especially love when he begins to open up to Tosh and the numerous scenes in ‘a day in the death’ such as running into the bay or Ianto telling him to not let himself get beaten after all he has done, and that's also why that is one of my favourite episodes- I love this side of his character and how it contributes to him on the whole.

Character I’m Most Like:

God. Okay.

I honestly think this has to be the shortest reply yet. And for all the explanations worth, it has to be Ianto. Owen is angsty as hell, Tosh is kind and smart, Jack is tired, above everything and Gwen is adamant and sociable-

Ianto is humorous and loyal.

-Yet, somehow has the potential to be all of the other things too, and at times, has been. Which only furthers my previous point of him being relatable to most viewers at certain times throughout because of that.

Favourite Pair:

Now we’re talking.

There’s a word, a cursed, ancient term that’s been floating around the internet for a while now....: Janto.

Typical romance story, boy meets boy, boy is immortal alien, boy falls in love with welsh nerd who looks good in a waistcoat, the usual, yet...

Next, the heavy stuff :)

Ianto has so much love to give and he chooses to give it to Jack. His last serious relationship ended in tragedy and he finds himself in a casual fling with this, said immortal alien guy, who’s also...his mysterious boss. He appears genuinely happy and confident for the first time in a while and his utter joy will purify souls for many years to come.

But it’s not that simple, is it? It never has been. Because it gets serious and they can escape into their own connection outside of their work and all the other crap the team go through. They begin to understand each other on a deeper level despite their differences- and it’s fated to end in disaster:  Ianto’s death.

One of the most heart-breaking yet beautiful and bittersweet factors of the show is this relationship. The most traumatic realisations? moments when Ianto acknowledges his mortality compared to Jacks curse to out-live everybody he loves (The dead line and Day 4, I’m looking at you). Maybe it’s on Jacks behalf that the extent and importance of their bond get highlighted- He unwillingly falls for Ianto and he in no way wants to recognize the unwavering sincerity of what they have, or at least publically, hence his hesitance when Ianto is proud to be seen as a couple at the beginning of Children Of Earth, because he doesn’t want to see something so good end and hurt him, again.

Also, the fact that their relationship is so private? It’s got a significant part to play when prompting the importance of what they have. Jack is characteristically flirty and outgoing, yet he keeps his feelings for Ianto close and guarded-  because they mean that much to him. All of their intimate conversations- they're alone. It just develops and adds meaning and weight to their taboo ending.

That inevitably brings me onto the unspeakable death scene. I can wholeheartedly say that I have never witnessed such an emotional scene where a character has been killed off? It just, it gets to you? and I probably don't need to say that twice.

I don’t even know what it is, and I don’t care about the ‘he should never have been killed off’ or ‘he died for nothing’, god I want him to live as much as anybody, but they did choose to kill him off- and it was art.

The entirety of COE was, it was horrific and too close for comfort and one of the best pieces of television that I will ever have the pleasure to watch. Because it is raw and it’s soulful and it’s real and it breaks you- and god I wouldn’t want one of my favourite characters to go in any other way than something with this level of reputation and emotion.

The way Jack falls onto the floor next to Ianto, the ballad of Ianto Jones playing, the bigger picture of the theme of the series, them out of their comfort zone, beyond their control, influencing this, the government officials overlooking such an intimate moment, the way Jack tells them 'not him’ (that’s where I loose it, god I’m choked up just thinking about it), after Ianto tried to be the hero and stand next to Jack and help him confront the mistakes of his past- showing him that he's there for him when others doubt him, showing him that he can change and resolve it with him by his side, yet seeing that their efforts do not directly succeed? its not showing Ianto died with no final influence, its to show the extent of the bigger issue, it is out of their hands and that's why Children Of Earth is so, for want of a better word, scary- Gwen relating this degree of destruction to the absence of our established hero, The Doctor- terrifying.

How Jack wakes up and sees Ianto, how the audience see this character they've grown to love, dead, how defeated Jack looks with the knowledge that he will have to move on and can’t do anything about what had happened- it is seriously too much and can anybody who is that deeply connected to a scene, really hate on it for whatever reason?

God Jack blames himself, God Torchwood was the death of me-

you know I watched Children Of Earth over the evening of Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning? I watched Ianto Jones die on Christmas day 2015. Yeah.

Least Favourite Pair:

What the ever loving shit is Gwack.

(I like how you tiptoed around this Evie, and I just-)

Okay. I don't like Gwen. 

Now hear me out, I don't like her in the first and second series. She was a cheat and I accept this as part of her character, and Owens, but it doesn't mean I have to ignore or like it- she also treat the others like they didn't understand, like they couldn't feel and aren't affected by what they see like she is when they've been through so much more in terms of their background- she is rash and selfish and Rhys deserved better.

There I said it- however, it is party due to the writing, she had a lot of potential but she can’t be treated as such a ‘nice’ or relatable character and role model, as the person who enters this alien world for the audience to relate to when she gets away with these things. But I’ll hold my hands up and says she grows up a lot come COE and in the books and audios.

Despite my feelings about Gwen- she has still got a boyfriend either way. No offence, meh, ish, but there is nothing between her and Jack romantically- if anything she merely represents the normal life that Jack cant have. The many, many, uncomfortable scenes when she stares at Jack while kissing Rhys, the flirting with who she thought was him on her wedding day, the part where he's teaching her how to shoot, its just that, its awkward and there's nothing to it. Why voluntarily choose to treat her as this person who uses people and makes excuses for herself when you can emphasise and focus on her other truly good qualities like her bravery?

Why dig for something that isn't there, they have a great friendship, why simplify that? he mentors her and she has Rhys, he has Ianto, there's so much depth to that relationship as I've been through, why choose to overlook it?

But ‘don't like’ isn't as strong a word as ‘hate’, I just don't understand why somebody would make it this hard to view her as redeemable- I know she is flawed, like the others- I just find it harder avoid and grasp why people want to  further those parts of her and view it in a positive light and accept or ignore her cheating.

Gwen, I can hesitantly can get on board with, she is still part of the show I love, and while I can’t admit forgiving her I can say that her character, in turn, deserved better and while I acknowledge the problems she has, I appreciate her in COE, etc, because she does begin to develop and prove herself a bit more.

Nonetheless, I will never ‘get’ Jack and Gwen, it just doesn't rub me up the right way and seems pointless, it seems like ‘bait’ that some fans have fallen for and for me, it takes away so much of all of the characters involved and I’d rather view them for who they are rather than hinting at a negative version of who they could be.

And I'm sorry but Gwen and Owen are just bad for each other- they both deserve better than that.

Owen and Tosh? Beautiful and they should have gotten that date, they know each other so well and their death scene- why is this show so traumatic. But don't even get me started on that one-

‘Because you’re breaking my heart.’

Favourite Moment (s):

To be blunt:

Day 4- Ianto dies, yes really, #1, sorry...yeah..

Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, (Janto, in Adam)

A Day In The Death- Owen underwater, also in top 3...

‘No, ‘cause the phones aren't working’,

Captain Jack Harkness- Jack & Jack Dance, close second

‘Who’s for Chinese?’ ft. actually eating it and having a nice time Tm

When, in fragments, Owen first enters the hub and he is talking to Jack about how he's going to try to save as many people as he can but it'll  never be enough

I’m not sure of the episode, likely ‘A Day In The Death’, but Tosh and Owen have a talk, wait was it ‘Dead Man Walking?’...yeah it was...

Broken, audio- Yeah, that- the car scene where their relationship truly begins and ‘stop the car’, ‘my coffee.’

‘Space Pig, Yeah?’

Fragments- ‘Jones. Ianto Jones’. ‘Captain Jack Harkness’

Does the John Barrowman ringtone blooper count? ;)

Not to approach the unapproachable, and it's not my favourite ‘cause that's like twisted but- ‘the Steven thing’ deserves a mention just for the fact that Jacks expression will haunt me forever

‘The world’s always ending, and I have missed that coat’

Did I mention the entirety of COE?

A Torchwood Captain and an ex-time agent walk into a bar...

Virus short story, ending and the part where Ianto goes rogue and badass

The goodbye in COE- should have ended there, it lost its weight

Consider this: In the shadows audio- Ianto, he just-

‘The Sin Eaters’ audio, cat falls through lift, that's all you need to know really, isn't it?

‘house of the dead’ when its all over and somebody approached jack and he answers them but then they go away and he- ‘goodbye Ianto’

‘Gwen....mine’s got a bell’, ‘Jack and Coffee’, ‘Lost Souls, audio

Honestly I've probably forgotten moments that I mention 24/7 but these are the ones that come to mind

I warned you that it was gonna be an uncharacteristically long one

Rating:

10/10...

Did you expect anything else after all of that? For all its imperfections, this show will always welcome me back with open arms, I’ve taken so much from it and it will remain my favourite show along with Doctor Who itself.

Funny Story: 5am

I told you Evie, I did.

[thefudge]

Hi :) I was wondering which are your book OTPs.

so you mean my literary otps?

get. ready.

1. SO. since you started me down this path, there is a little known book by barbara pym called excellent women, about this spinster-in-the-making young woman (called mildred) in england’s 1950s who becomes friends with her downstairs neighbors and develops an innocent crush on the husband of the family. now, that’s not the otp. oh, no. see, the neighbors have this anthropologist friend that is this haughty impatient dude who sneers at everything and seems perennially vexed (he’s not really proud, he’s just super particular and doesn’t have patience for artifice and good manners). IN COMES our protagonist who just doesn’t really know what to do with him. they just sort of accidentally spend time together and they have this amazing dynamic that i’ve looked for in other otps but haven’t found since. basically it’s this fascinating ease they have with each other and this natural grouchiness they share; he doesn’t treat her as a “woman” per se, but as a human being, whom he questions and challenges. he doesn’t put her on a pedestal and he doesn’t really love her for any special quality, it’s so fucking charming and effortless. there is this JEWEL of a scene where he awkwardly invites her over for dinner, and mildred thinks he’s your average asshole bachelor trying to get a free meal out of her (basically, having her over to cook for him) so she rejects him. she eventually does come over and when she acts surprised she doesn’t need to cook for him, he’s SO outraged like “wtf cook for me??? no thank u??? that’s not why you’re here grl”. it is PERFECT. i may be super subjective, tho, but these two owned me and still do. oh also, the dude’s name is EVERARD. it truly is perfect. so yeah, mildred/everard 5ever. 

2. elizabeth/darcy is a given, but i will like to say that from austen’s plethora of delightful ships, my angst-sucker-punch will forever be fanny price/henry crawford from mansfield park. yeah yeah, fanny ends up with dreaded cousin edmund for…sigh, good reasons i guess. like, it’s probably just my weird hang-up and perhaps austen thought this ship was too much “reformed rake” for her taste but maaan, when this tiny ship sailed, it sailed (i’m also always a sucker for playa dude plays himself with feelings)

3. here i go with my obscure shit again, but this novel from amelie nothomb. it can be translated as “the sparrow’s diary”, and it’s such a weird otp, because this dude is hired to assassinate a whole family, from what i remember, and he goes through with it, but he discovers the diary of the teenage girl and keeps it for some reason. and he falls for her, post-death. it’s messed up and amazing. and i won’t spoil the ending, but whoa. yeah, so assassin/sparrow. my jam. 

4. eliza doolittle/henry higgins. grouchy marrieds seems to be a theme. i love how unsentimental this ship is, when you get down to it.

5. beatrice/benedick from much ado about nothing. def see a pattern here.

6. phaedra/hippolytus. yes, the original mother/stepson ship yall. euripides was my guy. also, here’s a delightful pic from one of the stage adaptations

6. eve/the literal devil in paradise lost. the original sinful otp. i remember milton writing about lucifer pining over eve and her coolness. the BEST. 

7. robin/cormoran strike from the cormoran strike series by jk rowling. THESE TWO, lord oh mighty, you know, i do have harry potter ships aplenty, but rowling never ever managed to kill me with feels UNTIL ROBIN AND CORMORAN. fuck me. they are the exact mixture of banter/tough-love i adore so much. and what should be obvious from this entire list is that i love it when the gents treat the ladies like fully formed, complex human beings.

8. amy/nick from gone girl. one day i will wrote a whole “post” on my theory that gillian flynn actually wrote the truest romance ever with these two. yes, also great commentary on the patriarchy and the capitalist twist on marriage etc. BUT deep down, this is a story of two people who come to really, finally see each other for the first time. and what they find is that, paradoxically, they match really fucking well. U HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. nick doesn’t just stay with her at the end because he’s “trapped”. it’s a larger metaphor for me. he’s trapped because no one will ever know his soul like amy, and vice versa. it’s only after you’ve shat on each other forever that you can come out of it remade. FIGHT ME. (my second secret theory about gone girl it’s that wuthering heights with reversed genders and a sordid, amazing HEA for cathy(nick)/heathcliff(amy).

9. iago/othello - i would argue iago’s deep loathing was desire, mixed with a desperate need to subjugate othello.

10. onegin/tatiana. yall. YALL. if you have never read “evgheni oneghin” by pushkin, remedy this mistake immediately. it’s a tragicomic lyrical novel about a young dandy who is doomed to ignore love when it is presented to him. but it’s also great, trope-wise. basically, he meets this young woman, tatiana, whom he finds pretty but simple and too romantic. she falls for him and tells him earnestly she wants to be together. this takes place circa early 19th century in russia. he rejects her. skip to 10 years later, she’s married to some important dude, he’s still embittered asshole, but he meets her again and falls for her. the roles are reversed, however.  BOOM. weep on that. 

11. lestat/louis/claudia for my anne rice fans. what a trash fam.

12. alice munro has a short story called “passion” which forever owns my soul. in it, this young, kind of naive girl goes on a drive with her boyfriend’s brother and well, it’s the best thing ever. the saddest, too. basically, those two. 

13. clara kalliam/ vincen coe. okay, yall, you may have no idea who these folks are but hooo boy, did they ruin me. so daniel abraham has this fantasy series called the dagger and the coin. basically, clara is part of the upper class society and is married to a baron. vincen is her husband’s servant. he is several years younger. their bond can never be. enter lots of angst and yearning and hot chemistry. what’s hilarious/painful about this ship is that clara is a lot like catelyn stark and vincen is a lot like jon snow, soooo if you ever thought that would be an interesting pairing, you’re welcome (i should say, they’re hardly the main focus/main ship of the series but they do play an important part and they’re my bbies)

14. there’s this book by yukio mishima called “spring snow”, it’s part of a bigger trilogy of his on love. but anyway, the two lovers in that book are sooo fucking intense i die every time. he wants to hate her, but ends up worshipping her. she’s engaged to a prince, ofc. it’s hopeless. the aaaangst. (in later novels, there’s a great queer subtext involving reincarnation and two male friends, but! those two crazy kids).i had to look up their names again, but they’re called kiyoaki & satoko.

15. dunya/svidrigailov - sooooo. these two are from crime and punishment, by dostoyevsky. basically, it’s a petyr/sansa ship that goes there. there’s a scene where she threatens him with a gun and it’s the hottest thing ever. he’s kiiind of obsessed with her but she’s also drawn to him. it’s weird and tragic and hopeless, in the end, but sooo good.

16. pretextat/nina - another amelie nothomb novel, this one called “hygiene de l’assassin”. so, you have this author dude who is scum of the earth. erudite and refined but absolute piece of fucking shit. enter girl who read all his work and wants to interview him. she thinks she’s uncovered the fact that he murdered someone in his past. pretextat falls in love with her in the course of one conversation. at one point i remember there’s a scene where she spits on him. it’s the fucking best. 

i think i’ve got many more, but just to give you a taste of my diverse literary menagerie lol. (jane/rochester should probs be there too but i decided to go with lesser known, more personal choices).

[sweetme86]

11 Question/tag thing

I was tagged by @tdgal1 Thanks so much! I like doing these things though it often takes me a while to answer all the questions ;)

Rules:

post the rules

answer the questions asked by your tagger

ask 11 of your own questions

tag 11 more people 

1. If you had the time and money to work with any charity, which one would it be?

Oh wow, that’s a good question. I’m not sure about charities, but if I didn’t have to work for a living I’d probably be volunteering at pre-schools or daycare centers or at the library with those kids or school programs. That’s actually what I went to school for, I’ve got my Bachelor’s in Social Work but it was so hard to get a paying job because every business/workplace I looked into was basically low on funds and ran mostly on volunteers...

2. Do you cook?

I do, but lately I’ve been so busy with work and nano that I’ve skipped cooking a lot and have just gotten take out... I need more veggies...

3. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?

Probably going camping during my trip up the west coast? Because I’d never met the guys I went camping with, only talked online over on couchsurfing.com... I did do a lot of checks online to see if they were who they said the were, but still! Amazing experience though, camping in Henry Coe State Park, sleeping under the stars, hiking 5 miles down to a stream and going swimming, then hiking all the way back! ...uphill... So. Exhausting Much. Fun. Probably the most memorable couple of days from my five week vacation! And possibly of my life.

4.  Have you ever been on a cruise?

Nope.

5.  Would you go meet one of your followers if you had the chance?

Absolutely, that would be so much fun!!

6.  Favorite holiday?

Probably cliché, but Christmas. I love the cozy feel of that time of year, spending time with my family, getting out that 1000pc jigsaw, Christmas songs all day every day for a week, the smell of pine permeating the house because of the Christmas tree... Hot chocolate with marshmallows, baking Christmas cookies. Okay I’m going to stop now because I could probably go on and on!

7.  What is your favorite troupe?

Fake relationship.

8.  What is your stress reliever?

Reading. And a few times a year I treat myself to a massage!

9.  What troupe do you avoid?

Under age, mpreg, noncon/love potions

10.  Do you love yourself?

I... really want to say yes and on some days I do. Still need to work on making the answer to this question a definitive YES though.

11.  If you write, would you ever co-write?

I’ve never tried it and would like to try, though I’m worried it could harm a friendly relationship if things don’t work out well... I’m not a very consistent writer and that might be very annoying for my co-writer. 

I’d love a beta though, so if there are any volunteers out there... ;) 

I’m tagging @absentlyabbie​, @fallingmeleth​, @anogete​, @green-arrows-of-karamel​, @quiveringbunny​, @nerdyandturdy​, @bitchwhwifi​, @thebookjumper​, @denialanderror​, @redgillan​, @dust2dust34​

 Absolutely no pressure if you don’t want to do this, just because I like doing these things doesn’t mean other people like it too ;)

My questions for you are:

What type of weather do you like best?

What is your native language and what other languages (if any) do you speak?

What is your own best quality?

What’s your creative outlet (if you have one)?

Do you like celebrating your birthday?

How often do you check your refrigerator/cupboards before truly giving up on snacks? 

Favorite take-out?

Is there anything you can’t resist buying if you see it on sale?

What’s the one thing you would like to change about other people’s perception of you?

Favorite type of holiday? (road trip/beach/city/nature/etc.)

What’s your favorite book and do you recommend reading it?