#i will never forget how when i was a teenager she banned me from watching star vs foe because a character vaguely referenced menopause
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katniss-evermeme · 7 months ago
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My mom: *routinely watches R rated thriller movies with generous amounts of gore and excessive usage of the f-bomb when my little brother is around*
Also my mom: *freaked out when we got to the bomb dog episode of Spy X Family, relentlessly asked why I'd watch something so brutal around my brother*
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genderisareligion · 6 months ago
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Have you ever heard of the blackgirlgamers sub Reddit? No one knows for sure why it was banned but it was during the time when Reddit was banning every “non inclusive” sub reddits. The girlgamers subreddit is still there but it has so many tims. I don’t know if you watch gaming/league competitions but the “women’s” team is always 70% male. Or when you look up girl gamers on twitch it’s a bunch of tims. It s hard out her for girl gamers. Everyone always talks about how they’ve infiltrated women’s sports but forget that are taking over women’s esports and gaming too. (What little esports and gaming women had to start with)
I'm a very casual video game player and only watch Super Smash and Pokemon competitions lol but even in those I've noticed the saturation of TIMs. In fact a friend just sent me a seemingly innocuous article about the first female protagonist from the Pokemon games in the 90s only for it to detail how important she was for trans women actually 🙄 Wouldn't be shocked to find the "former" Gamergate incels and transbians Venn diagram to be a circle.
I've never heard of the sub but considering how especially pissy these men get when Black women don't kowtow perfectly I'm also not shocked it got taken down in the mass transphobia ban
I would be more than a casual player like I was as a teenager if it weren't for misogyny. I could be decent at Pokemon if I tried my highest ranking on Showdown is 1600 lol
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footballandfics · 2 years ago
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julian girl here again😩 so imagine this….. he’s in a game all serious then he see his gf (aka us) wearing his shirt and he gets so flustered so he starts to play bad then his teammates (man city since he doesn’t play there alot) starts asking him why and he’s so shy SHSIDNDISNAIA i love him😔
Dying at aka us but you're right
Thank you for requesting, this was fun to write.💗
Julian had asked you to come to his game for the first time.
It was a very important game for him and the team.
It was the semifinal for the FA cup
You are there cheering for him and his team
He didn't see you yet
But you saw him search for you in the crowds
The few times he could look away from the ball
It was draw
2-2
Julian scored an amazing goal
The other goal was scored by haaland
Finally it seems like he saw you
And from his reaction
He definitely notices that you're wearing his shirt
Because after he saw you he lost the ball and the opposite team stopped man city's attack
Then he nearly falls when he starts running
Luckily his mistakes didn't lead to any goal
And now the first half of the game is over
Grealish his teammate
"Who was that guy in the last five minutes"
Jokes with julian
"Yeah if he didn't score I was going to think they paid him"foden adds
"Sorry guys I just.." julian didn't finish his sentence feeling shy and flustered
How can he say his mistakes are because of his girlfriend watching him play
And wearing his shirt
Like a teenager in love they'll never let him forget this moment
He wants to see you closer
But he can't
He needs to focus on the game or else pep would sub him off
"The world champion coming back in this half right?" Grealish teases again
"Yeah it just was I saw my girlfriend .." he couldn't continue and teasing sounds starts
"It's the misses fault, we should ask pep to ban her from coming"
Grealish teases again
"No it's just the first time she sees me play in official game at least"
"I'm kidding Julie, I know you're going to score again today"
Which he did
Minute 87 he scores again
The winning goal
And celebrate it towards where you're sitting
While he's pointing at you
The game ends
3-2
Man city winning
And they're set to the final
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soulmate-game · 3 years ago
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Not related to the other two Bio!mom Harley AUs that I did. Just... similar. I wrote this instead of sleeping, as per the usual.
—*—*—*—*—*
“I need your help.”
No accent, no threats of violence, no beating around the bush (figurative or otherwise). No fighting or unconscious bodies.
Just Harley Quinn with her hair down, no makeup, and completely serious, in the center of the Bat Cave. Even though her usual exaggerated Brooklynn accent (circa 1950s) had become a pretty inseparable part of her personality over the years, every now and then she forcibly stuffed it down and used her mostly unaccented voice. The one reminiscent of days with less colors on her face, a high bun, and a pristine white lab coat.
Every single one of the Bats and Birds present, fresh from an interrupted patrol thanks to her, could count the number of times they had seen Harley like this on one hand. Bruce would have the most recollections, but everyone else would have plenty of fingers left on said hand. So they all knew, especially when Bruce willingly pulled down his cowl so he could look Harley in the eye, that this was the start of something they were not likely to forget. And maybe their chances of survival were slim too.
“Harley,” Bruce’s voice was still gruff, seeing as he was still mostly Batman at the moment, but his eyes were soft. “Maybe you should tell us what you need help with first. And sit down. You look exhausted.”
Sure enough, there were dark circles under Harley’s eyes. She let Bruce-man lead her over to one of their debriefing tables and sit her down. She let out a huge sigh, her fingers tangling in her loose blond locks.
“I have a confession, and it isn’t gonna leave this cave, capiche?” The slight return of her accent relieved a little of the tension, but not much. Taking this as their cue, the rest of the bats spread out into their usual seats at the table. Bruce stayed near Harley, keeping a hand on her shoulder in silent support. Harley didn’t continue talking until he gave her a solemn nod in agreement. She gulped— an action that immediately returned the tension.
“... fifteen years ago, back when I was still with Joker, I disappeared off the Gotham scene for a few months. I’m sure a few of you remember,” she looked up, and a couple of the older vigilantes nodded. Really, Jason has still been Robin back then. But the memory stuck out in his head now that he was thinking about it.
“Yeah, you were breaking away from him a little bit, which was weird at the time,” Red Hood mused aloud, arms crossed. “I think you helped us out a couple times and did some of your first team ups with Ivy before you vanished. Then a few months go by and you were back in action with Joker, so we mostly ignored it as you just being you.”
Harley nodded. “Ah, my Ivy’s a lifesaver, even back then. She helped cover up the timeline by keeping me in action for longer than I should’a been without putting me at too much risk.”
“Timeline…” Red Robin spoke up, eyes huge even behind his mask. “You don’t mean—“
“Harley,” Bruce breathed, having also caught on. “You were pregnant?”
The air went still. Harley sniffed, eyes watering even as she smiled.
“Oh yeah. Shouldn’t have been possible, ya know? Me ‘n Joker being dumped in that damn acid should have made us both more sterile than an operatin’ room. But I knew I couldn’t raise a kid, so after she was born—“
“You kept her?” Damian interrupted, earning a gentle cuff over the head from Dick. Harley just snorted.
“Yeah. Not gonna lie, I thought about abortion. But the baby didn’t do nothin’ wrong, and I was still in love with Joker back then so I was ecstatic that I was able to make something new with part ‘a him in it. Still, I knew a baby didn’t deserve to be raised in Gotham. Especially not my baby, not with my enemies and history. Not with who her father was. I knew he’d never want her, never let me keep her. So I spent the last five months of my pregnancy lookin’ around for the best possible family to take her in. And I found them in Paris, France. A sweet couple, both of them bakers. Sabine, she’s both adorably sweet and super kickass. Comes from a Chinese family that is crazy about teachin’ their women martial arts. But nothing shady about it, I triple checked. Just bonding through kicking people in the face. Which is perfect, I wanted my baby to know how to defend herself. I knew she’d need those skills eventually. And Tom, that’s Sabine’s wife, he’s a gentle giant. Same size as Bane, but as harmless as a puppy and makes the best croissants ever. Seriously, the best.”
“Harley,” Bruce gently prodded, but there was a tiny grin on his face. Seeing her behaving so… so normally, so proud and reminiscent, was a rare treat. Bruce would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of how far the woman had come. How she had freed herself and become a better person, mostly on her own.
“Right, right. The point,” Harley took a breath, rubbing her forehead. “I came clean to Tom and Sabine, but apparently they knew who I was the whole time. They just didn’t care— did I mention they are perfect? Anyway, once I explained everything, they agreed immediately to adopting my baby. They’d been wanting kids, but it would’a been too risky for Sabine’s health. That’s how I found them anyway, they were in the market to adopt. We named her Marinette. She took Tom and Sabine’s last names, hyphenated. We decided Quinn would be her middle name. And after that, I came back to Gotham and told myself that she was in good hands and I needed to forget about her. Cuz I was no good for her. I knew that. I went back to my old tricks. And then…” Harley chuckled, but it was self-depreciating.
“Then a few years passed, and I started breaking away from Joker for real. Then we broke up, I blew up Ace Chemicals while you guys were outta town doing Justice League and Young Justice shit. I started dating Ivy. And—“ she smiled softly at the table, clearly seeing something the rest of them couldn’t. “Then Ivy convinced me to go see her. Visit my baby, see how she’s been. And I did. Marinette was seven years old, but damn it to hell she was gorgeous. And say whatever you want about me and Joker— most of it will even be true— but neither of us are stupid. And she inherited all of our intelligence. All of it. She got my blue eyes. But she got his hair, which meant Sabine teased me relentlessly about ‘are you sure she isn’t that Wayne’s kid?’ And don’t make that face Bruce, you’d be lucky to have a kid half as beautiful as my Mari-pie. No offense, Damian. Anyway. Anyway, this is the important part. Or part of it.
“She sat there and listened to everything I had to say. Everything. A little seven year old, who could barely understand English at the time, and she listened without interrupting once. She never threw a fit, she wasn’t angry or confused. I told her about the things I’d done in the past— well, G rated versions— and she didn’t care. She called me Momma Harley right away, said she wanted to meet Aunt Ivy sometime soon, and started telling me everything about her that I’d missed. From that day on, she became my sunshine. The light of my life, and I still call her at least once a week every week. When I disappear for a few days out of the city? I’m visiting her—“
“You’re banned from international travel, Harley,” Dick scolded, but he sounded way too amused for it to work. He knew she had her ways, anyway. Nobody could actually stop Harley damn Quinn from doing whatever she wanted.
“—Ugh, she tells me the same thing every time! Disappointed glare and everything. I don’t know how I gave birth to such a goodie goodie, but somehow I did. Not important though! The important thing is, I’m always the first to hear when something new happens in her life. And we had decided that she wouldn’t visit me in Gotham until she was at least eighteen, but apparently she disobeyed me— which I should have expected honestly— and entered you guys’ WE international scholastic competition.”
“Oh no,” Bruce pinched the bridge of her nose. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The contest winner?” He finally pulled out a chair and sat down. “The winner gets an all-expense paid trip to Gotham for them and their whole class.”
“Exactly!” Harley threw up her hands. “Mari told me last week, and I’ve been trying to talk her out of coming ever since. But she’s inherited both of our stubbornness too, and she isn’t budgin’ a bit. ‘Momma Harley, I wanna see you and Auntie Ivy though!’ And ‘Momma, Gotham’s nothing I can’t handle,’ or my favorite, ‘Maybe you’ll finally get to see me dropkick someone three times my size then, and I’ll prove it.’”
“So that’s what you meant by you need our help,” Tim said as he leaned forward over the table. “Joker just broke out of Arkham yesterday. You want us to protect her.”
“I’d prefer if one of you was with her outside of the mask too, as often as possible,” Harley confirmed. “I can’t stop her from coming here anymore, but I also don’t trust Joker for a second. As soon as he sees her, I’m afraid he’ll make the connection.”
“She looks like him?” Damian asked, scrunching up his nose at the ugly mental image of Joker as a teenage girl. Harley shook her head, solemn.
“She looks like a dark-haired mini-me,” she corrected. “She even keeps her hair in pigtails as her way of showing support for me. And I know Marinette can kick ass, Sabine’s trained her well. But Marinette inherited more than I’d like from me,” Harley ran a hand through her hair. “I didn’t notice it until she was thirteen. She got a crush on a classmate, and it was almost like watching videos of me back during the early days of— well, of Harley Quinn. Just without the crime and insanity. She didn’t even realize that she was almost stalking the poor kid until I pointed it out, and luckily I was able to put my doctorate to good use and we nipped that right in the bud ASAP. She never meant it that way, anyway. As soon as I explained things to her, she was horrified and immediately asked me to help her learn how to have a healthy relationship. That was a fun discussion,” Harley grimaced. “But she still gets attached to people really, really easily. Once she grew out of her crush on that boy, she adopted him as her unofficial brother. She already calls Selina “Auntie,” even though I’ve barely mentioned her to Marinette. She gets attached fast, and deeply. And I’m afraid that even after all the warning I’ve done, all the stories I’ve told her—“
“You’re afraid she’ll get attached to Joker just like you did,” Bruce finished for her, closing his eyes. “Because she knows he’s her father.”
“Yes,” Tears were slowly dripping down her face already, her hands curled into fists so tightly that her knuckles were paper white. “You know how he is. If he finds out she’s his biological daughter, he’ll immediately try to take advantage of that. And he’s far too good with his words for people like me and Mari. I’m worried outta my mind. Please. Help keep my baby safe from him.”
“We will,” Jason no longer had his helmet on, or the domino mask that he usually wore underneath it. All of them knew masks were merely formality with Harley nowadays. And he needed to look her directly in the eye so she could see how serious he was. “I can sign up as a bodyguard for the class. It won’t be weird, seeing as they’re tourists and this is Gotham. They also have several rich kids in their group if I remember right.”
Bruce nodded, agreeing with Jason. “That’s a good idea. I can lead the class on their tours of WE personally. That’ll serve the purpose of keeping an eye on her and shutting up the investors that keep begging me to make more public appearances for the sake of the company. Marinette’s name is already released to the news as the winner of the contest, so we can’t keep her out of the spotlight long. Tim, you’ll have to keep an eye on any and all pictures of the class. Try to erase or doctor the images with her in it well enough that connections between her and Harley can’t be easily made. Dick, you and Damian will be in charge of keeping an eye out for any activity from Joker. The slightest hint, and you notify all of us. We’ll decide on a case-by-case basis who is necessary to stick with the class and who goes after the clown.”
“She’s gonna sneak out of her hotel to stay with me and Ivy,” Harley admitted, bringing the (now slightly judgemental) attention back to her. She raised her hands up in surrender. “She didn’t tell me that, and I didn’t approve or suggest it! I just know my baby too well to not realize that that’s her plan. Could ya provide an escort?”
Bruce sighed. “This is gonna be an eventful month.”
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captnjacksparrow · 3 years ago
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Why did Sasuke have sex with Sakura if he did not like her? He did horrible things to her and yet he made a baby with her so it means that he finds Sakura attractive. He is not that type of guy who would put his d just like that and I do not believe that he did not know about protection so he wanted a baby with Sakura.
To that Anon..... Who once asked me who is hornier, NaruHina or SasuSaku???.... And I told you my answer.... And if you are reading my post today... This ask is the literal proof for you!!!! Look at the proof of their Love.... 
God!!! I'm really uncomfortable talking about sex in an ask. Anyways, this will be my last time...
Disclaimer: The Word ‘Sex’ is used many times in this post. If you feel uncomfortable, please don’t read it.
Reasonable Answer:
The Studio forced Sasuke to do 'the thing'. That's all.
Prediction Based Answer:
Why do you think 'Having Sex' must always be related to attractiveness and romance????
Your question makes me doubt your Media Observing experience. I mean, maybe you are a 12 year old kid who never watched modern Movies other than Disney Stuffs.... 
Do you really think every sexual experience that everyone had so far was romantic????
Have you heard about 'One Night Stand'???? Or 'Casual Sex'??? Both of them were done just for experimenting... I mean horny teenagers get hormonal rage and they just do it and then forget about it. I'm sure you must have watched it in many Hollywood Movies. Popular Movie Example.... Iron Man... Tony Stark had wild sex with Christine Everhart for one-night but he never loved her or even remember that thing.
He is not that type of guy who would put his d just like that
Since you yourself had admitted that Sasuke is not that type of Guy... Surprisingly, I also agree with you on this, Anon.... So, can we safely eliminate One Night Stand and Casual Sex out of the possibilities?????
With that being said.....
There is something called 'Obligatory Sex'.... Like Back in those days, Kings cannot marry the girl they really loved. Because of Social Status. So, they marry a socially sound girl and make them into a Queen. Their purpose is solely for making Prince and Princess. They really won't share the same bed chambers because the King don't really love the Queen. But most of the Kings take their loved girl as their Beloved Concubine with whom they can share their true love in an honest way... Go and watch Historical Chinese and Korean Drama.... They are full of these themes. Or watch Game of Thrones Season 1...  The King, when he was trying to have sex with the Queen, he whispers his Beloved Girl’s name.... That irritated the queen... So the Queen went behind King’s back and had sex with her Br.... Sorry, some person and ended up having 3 kids.... What’s more?, She passed all those 3 kids as the King’s Children. The sex portrayed in this series are mostly either abusive, non-consensual... if it is romantic, it always ended up in a Tragedy, if it is an One-Timer, one of the partner will dump the other in the end..... or if it doesn't belong to any of the above, then it must be the sex that happens in Brothel House.
And there is something called 'Give and Take' Sex... Like having sex for one time, just as a favour. There is this Oscar Award Winning movie called 'Forrest Gump'... in which Tom Hanks mother have a one-time sex with a School Principal... Just for making her disabled kid to get admitted in his School.
And there is something called ‘Societal Pressure’ Sex... In Patriarchal Societies, such as mine, most of the marriages are Arranged Ones. So, Couple’s don’t really love each other in the beginning and they were forced to marry. And it’s this girl’s responsibility to bore a Baby within 10 months, otherwise, the Mother-In-Law or her Neighbours will pester that newly married girl.. .. And finally they consummate the marriage just for satiating her ‘New Found’ Family. Because Infertility thing will not be tolerated. This is how my Grandmom had her 5 kids... that is, without loving the Man she married. To this day, she still resents my Grandfather because she hates him for personal reasons. This is very common from where I come from.
And finally.... ‘Brokeback Mountain’ Sex.... Rather than me explaining it...You must watch this Oscar Award Winning movie. Oh, By the Way.... This movie was directed by Ang Lee from China... A place where homosexual contents in contemporary media were strictly banned and censored by their Government but they are the best in producing successful and soulful Shounen Ai novels...
He did horrible things to her
He never did anything horrible apart from rejecting her love advance... If she stayed quiet and remained non-horny in Chapter 693, he wouldn’t have put her in that Genjutsu. 
So, Stop making Sasuke as this monster just to portray your Kween as a Victim. She is the harasser in SS. 
I have given 2 Oscar Award Winning movies, 1 Most Emmy Award Winning TV series, Culturally similar TV series from China and Korea, 1 Blockbuster movie which gave rise to a Biggest Billion Dollar Franchise called MCU, Real Life Experience..... And yet here you are living in your la-la-land thinking that every Sex is based on Romance. Sasuke might have ‘did the deed’ based on any of the above... If he did as you said, that is, having Sex out of Attractiveness, he wouldn’t have abandoned her and Sarada for 12 years, he wouldn’t have asked her, “What are you doing here?” on seeing her face after a decade, he wouldn’t have refused to Kiss her.... The very natural response after seeing your beloved person is to Hug.... or atleast have a Brimming Smile. Sasuke did neither.
Please come to the real world instead of staying in your Colourful Disney World, Anon.
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zediina · 3 years ago
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hi! sorry if this comes off as rude, but i’m learning german and was wondering if you have any german tv show/film recommendations? i’d really appreciate it if u do, thanks so much!
Hello!! Don't worry, this isn't rude at all :) I haven't seen many of these in a long time but here are a few I really enjoyed (I linked the trailers to the movies/the first seasons of the shows too):
MOVIES
Die Feuerzangenbowle (1944)
Yes, this movie is very old; it's black and white. But it's still shown on German tv and it's pretty funny. A famous writer goes undercover in a school, pretending to be a student since he never got the classic school experience (he was home-schooled). He and the other students play a bunch of pranks on the teachers, and other shenanigans happen.
Das Boot (1981)
This is a classic and was nominated for several academy awards, including best director and best cinematography. It takes place on a German submarine during ww2, so it's a war movie. Usually not my favorite genre but this one really kept me on the edge of my seat. There's also a series that came out recently, but I haven't seen that. I can't imagine that it's better than this though.
Good Bye Lenin! (2003)
Takes place shortly after the fall of the Berlin wall and tells the story of a young man from East Berlin. His mother just woke up from a coma, and the doctors say she shouldn't get any big surprises (like, you know, the of the fall Berlin wall) so he tries to fool his mom by pretending the GDR still exists; which is harder than it sounds. The premise sounds a bit ridiculous but it's a really great and funny movie.
Das fliegende Klassenzimmer (2003)
Based on a very popular children's book, this movie tells the story of a boy who's new in a boarding school. He and his new friends find the book for a musical and decide to practice and perform it. (There's a bunch of other stuff happening like a rivalry with another group of students. I haven't seen this movie in forever but it's good and the story is very well known).
Die Welle (2008)
This is based on a true story about a social experiment a history teacher did with his class; maybe you've heard of it before. They create a mock-nazi party to try and understand how they became so popular and how people could buy into their rhetoric. Things go sideways pretty quickly. A great movie and a reminder that none of us are immune to indoctrination and radicalization. There's a tv show with the same name, but I don't think they're connected.
Fack Ju Göthe (2013)
I feel like everyone in Germany has seen this comedy at this point. Objectively it isn't a very good one but I'm going to recommend it simply because every German person I know can quote at least one line from this movie. A criminal takes a job as a teacher for the owrst class in that school, because his accomplice buried the money they stole underneath the school and he needs to get to it. Let's just say his teaching methods are a bit... unconventional.
Labyrinth des Schweigens (2014)
Another movie based on a true story, and one of my favorites. This one really stuck with me. It's about a young state attorney in 1950's Germany, who starts interviewing holocaust victims and prosecuting nazi officers who served in Auschwitz. This movie really shows that many people in Germany would have preferred forgetting the holocaust ever happened and pretend everything is fine rather than confront it.
Tschick (2016)
We actually read the book to this in school. It's a bout two 14 year old boys who steal an old car and go on a road trip together, and all the crazy stuff they experience. To be honest I don't remember that much about it since it's been so long since I've seen it, but I do remember really liking it!
Kästner und der kleine Dienstag (2017)
Remember that really popular children's book I mentioned? Well, this movie is about the author of that book. He's one of the authors who stayed in Germany during the Nazi regime, even though his works were banned and burned. It's about his friendship with a young boy that inspired a character in another famous book of his.
Die unheimliche Leichtigkeit der Revolution (2021)
This movie is about the east german environmentalist movement that started the peaceful revolution, which lead to the fall of the Berlin wall. It's about a teenage girl whose younger brother died due to pollution, and the state is trying to cover it up. Also shows how the GDR was trying to suppress any criticism of the state. It's definitely not the best movie on this list, but I really enjoyed it.
TV SHOWS
Ku'Damm 56, Ku'Damm 59, and Ku'Damm 63
The three mini series tell the stories of three sisters, whose mother runs a dancing school on Kurfürstendamm in Berlin. They take place in 1956, 1959 and 1963 respectively. It touches on a lot of topics, including domestic abuse, antisemitism, homosexuality, rape and more. I particularly loved the first season, where the youngest daughter who doesn't really fit into her mother's plans discovers her love for rock n' roll dancing.
Charité
The Charité is a prestiguous university hospital in Berlin with a long history, which this series exlpores. Season 1 takes place in the 19th century, where Robert Koch is lookig for a cure to tuberculosis. Season 2 takes place in Nazi Germany and among other things talks about the euthanasia practices at the time. Season 3 takes place right when the wall is being built (which passed right by the hospital). The show includes charcters based on real people as well as fictional ones.
Deutschland 83, Deutschland 86, Deutschland 89
An East German soldier has to go and work undercover for the GDR in West Germany, at a time where cold war tensions run high. I never got around to watching the last two seasons, but I remeber that the first one was really good.
Club der roten Bänder
This is based on a true story, and there are other versions of this show for example in the US. It's about a bunch of kids with different conditions who become friends in a hospital; two of them have cancer and got their legs amputated, one has an issue with his heart, one crashed a motorcycle, the youngest is in a coma, the girl has an eating disorder. There are other characters who show up as well. The show can get pretty sad, but their friendship is really touching.
Türkisch für Anfänger
This show was wildly popular back when it came out in the early 2000s. A german woman marries a turqish man, and create a patchwork family with four kids; who are absolutely not excited about it. But they have to figure out how to live with each other.
Oof, this escalated a bit, but I didn't want to exclude anything :) I hope you find something you like on this list!
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heliads · 4 years ago
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Goodbye in C Minor
Luke Patterson was dating this incredible girl, Y/N, until he died along with Alex and Reggie. Now that he’s been stuck in the present day, he doesn’t know how to move on from the girl he left behind in the 90s.
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A girl leans against an open doorway. She takes in the band playing around her, the black and white Sunset Curve banners streaked with color. Her eyes flash over all members of the band in turn, but they tend to linger on the lead singer, a boy with a shock of brown hair and enough passion for an entire band of his own.
In fact, he doesn’t even notice that the girl has arrived until the song ends and he looks up, finally snapped out of his reverie. Instantly, a smile shoots across his face and he jogs over to her, unslinging his guitar strap from around his shoulders and setting the instrument down on a nearby stand. He picks her up and twirls her around in the air. The girl laughs, and her eyes meet his again once her feet touch back down on the ground.
One of the boys from the band shouts something to her from across the studio, his voice hopeful. “Did you bring us lunch?” The girl turns to face them, attention finally diverted from her boyfriend. She holds up a plastic bag full of boxed containers. “I did! Takeout, hope you don’t mind. And yes, Bobby, some are vegetarian.” A light-haired boy, Alex, does a silent fist pump. “You’re the best, Y/N. Honestly.” 
Y/N hands the bag of food over to the hungry bandmates, and all except one hurriedly dig in. Luke stays, interlacing his fingers with Y/N’s. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Y/N waves his concern away. “I absolutely did. You’ve gotten me into the Orpheum for your upcoming show, the least I can do is make sure you’re all properly fed. If I can’t help with music, I can at least help with this.”
Luke grins. “Trust me, I think the food is the best thing ever. By the way, Reggie wants me to tell you that we’ll invite you to every show on the planet if it means he keeps getting free lunch. Although technically you don’t have to worry about that- I want you by my side every step of the way, lunch or no lunch.” Y/N laughs. “That’s one of the most romantic things I’ve heard all week. Maybe you should put that into a new song. ‘I’ll love you even if you don’t bring me takeout.’”
Luke pouts, and Y/N giggles at his mock sadness. “I’m kidding. Mostly.” Luke leans forward to kiss Y/N. “You had better be.” From across the room, Alex yells something at them. “If you guys keep making out in the middle of practice we’re going to ban you from the studio.” Y/N waves her hand at him. “I brought you food, you can’t ban me! I’m too important to the future of the band.” Reggie shrugs. “She’s right, you know. We might starve.” Alex swats him on the shoulder, and Y/N turns back to Luke with a slight smile.
“I can’t believe you’re playing at the Orpheum in a week. That’s so exciting!” Luke nods fervently. “Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. Like I’ll wake up and find out we were actually booked to some other place, not the actual Orpheum.” Y/N smiles at him. “You’re going to do great, and that’s final. I can’t wait to see you guys perform.” Luke absentmindedly runs his fingers over Y/N’s knuckles, tapping out the beats of half-written songs. “I know we’ll do great. I’ve got my muse. All of my songs are about you, you know that.” Y/N raises an eyebrow. “Even ‘My Name is Luke?’” Luke groans. “Okay, maybe not that one. Almost all of my songs are about you. How about that?” Y/N beams at her boyfriend. “That sounds perfect.”
Luke jolts back to reality. He’s still standing in that same studio, but he’s back to the present day. He’s not in the 90s anymore, and it’s been decades since he was writing songs with Sunset Curve, preparing to take on the Orpheum for the first time. He’s standing in the exact same place as that one memory, when he’d been talking to her. They’d both been so happy, so exhilarated at the prospect of Sunset Curve’s Orpheum performance. Neither of them had known that Luke, Alex, and Reggie would die that night, permanently taking Luke away from everything he knew best. Away from her.
There’s a slight motion next to him, and Luke freezes before remembering that he’s not alone in the studio. Alex has just walked up beside him, although his friend’s gaze softens when he sees the troubled look on Luke’s face. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you? You’re thinking about Y/N.” Luke sighs. “Yeah. I just- I can’t believe that all this time had passed. She isn’t here with us, and she didn’t eat those street dogs, so she must not have died. That means she grew up and she’s probably older now. I don’t know what to think about that.”
Alex nods slowly, placing his hand on Luke’s shoulder in a show of comfort. “We left so much behind that it’s hard to think about. If you ever want anyone to talk to, you know we’re all here. Julie too, although that might be more of a difficult conversation.” Luke blows out a slow breath. “That’s the problem. Things are going so well with Julie and the new band and everything that I feel like I should be happier, and I am, and then-” His voice trails off. Alex finishes the sentence for him. “And then you remember what life used to be like.”
Luke walks over to a photo tacked onto the wall. Julie had found some old snapshots of Sunset Curve and set them out in the studio. They were nice to see, but sometimes they tended to hurt instead of inspiring fond memories. One in particular catches his eye- the band and a couple of friends, mere hours before the Sunset Curve show at the Orpheum. It’s a faded Polaroid, showing a group of beaming teenagers pointing up at the Orpheum’s sign glowing in neon lights above them. Look what we’re about to do, they seem to say, look what we never got to finish.
Luke’s eye strays on the far right corner. He’s standing there, arm wrapped around a girl. Y/N. They’re both smiling, although in this shot neither of them are looking at the camera. Instead, they’re both turned towards each other, as if delighted by the simple fact that both of them are together. Luke remembers the details of that night in perfect clarity. They’d all arrived at the Orpheum and taken the photo, and then the boys had headed back to begin their sound checks. Y/N had watched them perform, making friends with a girl who worked at the venue. Rose, who Luke now knows is Julie’s mother.
Y/N always had this easy way of making friends. One smile, a few words, and it was like she’d known a stranger all their life. She and Rose had both cheered when Sunset Curve had finished their warmups, and then looked down at her watch in surprise. She’d said something about how she had to run and do some final checks with the venue staff, and she’d be right back. Y/N had kissed Luke quickly before dashing out the door with a promise that she’d be back in a second. Luke, Alex, and Reggie had disappeared down the block to get some street dogs. By the time Y/N had gotten back, papers and signatures held triumphantly in her hand, it was too late.
Luke doesn’t know what happened after that. He’s not positive that Y/N was there when he died, maybe arriving a few minutes after the fact. He’s not sure if that makes it better or not- although she’d be furious with herself for not being there to save him, Luke knows there was nothing she could have done. Would it have hurt more to be next to him, unable to do anything but watch as he breathed his last, or to have missed the entire thing? He supposes Y/N has had years to think the issue over.
Luke turns away from the photograph. His legs are itching to take him away, his heart racing to find something to do. The band doesn’t have practice today, so there’s nothing to distract him from the awful loneliness beating against his chest. He has to do something to get away from all of this, from the memories and the photographs and the knowledge that he had left the girl he loved behind and there was nothing to do to get her back. Luke mumbles something to Alex about how he’s going to take a walk, then poofs out of the studio, no clear destination in mind.
Luke reappears in the middle of a path. At first, he’s not quite sure where he is. There’s a line of pavement under his feet, leading away in front of him. Spring green boughs wave overhead, framing the way before him. The trees eventually clear out to form a clearing, and only then does Luke realize where he is. It’s the local cemetery, the place where all of Luke’s family have been buried. The place where surely he, too, lies at rest. His head must have some twisted sense of humor to bring him here.
Luke wavers one last moment, then decides to take off down the path. He’s never actually visited his own grave, as it seemed too morbid an activity to actually set out and do, but if he’s already here he might as well see it. There’s some sort of curiosity affixed to seeing your own headstone, weird as that may be, and at least now he can glance at it once and forget about it.
Luke passes between the long lines of gravestones, reading through the names. It’s late afternoon, and there’s almost nobody here at all. At least, there isn’t anybody here except one woman, who’s crouching before a headstone in the middle of the cemetery. On second thought, she appears to be around the place where Luke’s family is buried. As he walks over, he realizes that this woman is actually next to his grave. 
She’s speaking quietly. “Nothing much happened today, but it’s a Saturday, so I had to drop by anyway.” Her head drops. “You’ve been gone for 25 years. Can you believe that? 25. I miss you still.” A bittersweet smile cracks her lips, and Luke’s heart twists at the pain in her voice. “I have children now. They’re just beginning to enter double digits. At some point, they’ll be older than you. I wish you could have met them, Luke. I think you’d like them a lot.”
Luke’s head flies up when she says his name. The way she said it sounded so familiar, like he’s heard this woman before. Like he knows her, and knows her very well. The woman freezes slightly- she must have seen his small motion out of the corner of her eye. But that doesn’t make sense, because lifers aren’t supposed to see ghosts like Luke. Yet the woman still stands, lightly brushing dirt off of her legs. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your way. Didn’t see you there.”
The woman turns to face Luke, and her eyes widen. She stands for a moment, staring, and then her voice comes again, faltering and weak. “Luke?” She looks away from him, studying her own hands as if expecting them to be ghostly and translucent. “But you’re dead. How can you be here- Am I dead?” Luke shakes his head. “No, you’re not dead. I mean, I am, but I’m a, uh, ghost. You’re not a ghost. At least I don’t think so.” Luke’s voice trails off when the woman looks at him again. When she’s finally turned towards him, her face seems so familiar. It takes him a moment, and then he realizes who she is. “Y/N.”
It has to be her. There’s no way around it. Indeed, the second her name passes through his lips he knows it’s true. The Y/N standing before him is far older now, maybe in her late thirties or early forties. That would make sense, wouldn’t it? They were teenagers when he died, and if it’s been 25 years since then, she would have to be older. A slight lump forms in Luke’s throat. What would it have been like if he hadn’t died? Would he have been like this too? Would they have grown old together?
Y/N rubs a hand over her face as if in shock. “This makes no sense. I mean, you sound just like yourself and everything but-” Luke laughs quietly. “But ghosts aren’t real.” Y/N gestures loosely with her hand. “Exactly.” Her eyes flicker over him again, taking in every detail of his face as if committing it to memory. This small action itself is so strange to see- Luke remembers Y/N doing this at shows and practices, and it doesn’t feel right to see this similarity in a version of Y/N that is so much older, especially when Luke himself is still a teenager.
Luke’s voice is quiet. “Do you always visit my grave?” Y/N nods. “Every other Saturday. I think your mom and dad come all the time too. I try to give them some space.” She looks back at him, as if she can understand what he’s thinking. “We haven’t moved on so easily. There was a time right after you died when I thought we never would. I didn’t see how the earth could keep turning without my boys. And then the years kept passing by, and although the pain never got any easier we learned how to be happy too, how to keep the grief but remember you with brighter memories instead.”
She smiles, although her eyes are tinged with pain. “I’m married now.” She holds up her hand, and Luke’s gaze is drawn to the ring on her finger. “I think you’d like him a lot. We have two children, a boy and a girl. They know your parents well, we get together all the time. They supported me when I was in over my head, they pulled me out of a well when I was drowning in grief. I check in on them, and they check in on me. We were trying to do right by you.”
Luke feels like his legs are about to collapse underneath him. To see Y/N like this, so much older and calmer, feels like an earthquake tearing him apart. He doesn’t know why, but some part of him had almost assumed that she wouldn’t grow old either, that if he looked hard enough he could find her and they could be the same again. He knows now that he was wrong, although the sight of Y/N is still so reflexively exhilarating that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
Luke forces himself to speak. “Are you- are you happy? Now, with your family?” Y/N nods, a radiant smile breaking out across her face. “I’m incredibly happy. Things are good now, and they’re going to keep being good for a very long time.” She looks at him, seeing the questions he’s too afraid to ask. “I’m sorry that things happened the way they did. I would have liked nothing more than to see you shine on that stage and have your star career the way that we always planned. I have a feeling that you’ve got a new chance now, a way to move on. I’d take it. You’ve always been able to stay on your feet and keep running forward. Don’t let that go.”
Luke nods. “Thank you, Y/N.” They exchange their goodbyes and then Luke disappears back into the trees. After a moment or two of walking, he poofs back into the studio. Luke walks on leaden limbs towards his songwriting notebook, flinging it open and reaching for a pencil. He turns to one page in particular, a song he’d begun writing for Y/N a few days before their performance at the Orpheum. He changes some lines, adds new chords, transposes the song from a major to a minor key. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, but when he looks up at last, the song is finished.
The title sits at the top, a blurry gray after recent erasings. ‘Goodbye in C Minor.’ The beautiful start to a love he never got to see through.
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steve0discusses · 3 years ago
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Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters
Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)
Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:
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I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.
Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.
Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.
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Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.
(read more under the cut)
Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.
Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.
Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.
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It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.
And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.
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And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.
But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.
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Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.
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For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.
Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.
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Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.
Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.
Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.
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After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.
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Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?
Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”
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Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”
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Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?
Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.
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They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)
So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.
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Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.
Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.
That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.
Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.
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After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.
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and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.
Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.
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Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.
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There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.
Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.
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Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.
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In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.
Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D
Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.
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Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 
How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”
Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.
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This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.
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And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.
Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.
And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)
And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.
So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.
Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
See you next time!
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engie-ivy · 4 years ago
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I've written a part two for this fic! Read part one here.
What Chance Do I Have?
Regulus has agreed to tutor a classmate in statistics, but quickly comes to regret his life choices when the only chance the guy seems interested in, is the chance of getting to snog Regulus’ older brother.
“You want to snog my brother!” Regulus points his pen accusingly in Remus’ direction.
Remus huffs and straightens his back. “In my defence, your brother is very snogable!”
Part one: Crushin'
Part two: Fallin'
What Chance Do I Have? Part two: Fallin'
Dating Sirius Black is like a dream. No, a fantasy. A teenage fantasy of summer romance.
Dating Sirius Black is sneaking up to his room after Remus’ tutoring sessions and snog for hours on his bed. Dating Sirius Black is hurrying outside when his motorcycle pulls up, while Remus’ mum throws him a worrying look. Dating Sirius Black is Remus’ arms tightly wrapped around his waist while sitting on the back of his motorcycle. Dating Sirius Black is driving up a hill to watch the sunset and wearing his leather jacket when Remus gets cold. Dating Sirius Black is eating take-out pizza in the park late at night with him teaching Remus the constellations. Dating Sirius Black is skinny dipping in the lake at midnight. Dating Sirius Black feels like homecoming and an adventure, an obsession and an escape, too much and never enough.
Also, Remus’ statistics are actually going better. Regulus has given up on banning Sirius from their tutoring sessions. Sirius would just go outside to do all sorts of distracting activities in front of the window, like watering the plants in just his swimming trunks (“What the hell are you doing? We have a gardener! You haven’t watered a plant in your life!”), washing his motorcycle (“If you want to wash that thing, at least pour more water on your motorcycle than over yourself!), or doing his stretches (“What muscles are you even trying to stretch? You’re just standing there bend over. Get your arse away from the window!”). After Regulus sending Sirius away, Remus would go to the toilet and disappear for twenty minutes.
Regulus eventually allowed Sirius to stay, when Sirius came up with the idea of rewarding Remus for each good answer with a kiss, which remarkably improved his performance. Except for one instance where Remus had solved a particularly difficult problem and Sirius had gotten a bit carried away in his reward (the hoisting Remus up on the table throwing the statistics book on the floor-kind of carried away), and Regulus had muttered something about rinsing his eyes with bleach, it was a good arrangement for everyone.
Today, Remus is having drinks with a few girls from his class, Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans. They had apparently taken a liking to him and decided to befriend him, which Remus still finds surprising. Lily Evans and her boyfriend James Potter are the school’s it-couple, and the most popular people in school.
Remus and the girls have gathered for brunch, and some much-needed catch up-time.
“How’ve you been, Remus?” Marlene asks, sipping her tea. “Hardly seen you since the summer hols started.”
“I’ve been good. Keeping myself busy.”
“Ah, right,” Lily says. “You’ve been having those tutoring sessions with Regulus. How’s that going?”
“Yes.” Mary not-so-subtly steaks a pancake from Marlene’s plate. “How are you bearing spending beautiful summer days in the stuffy Black manor?”
“It’s not that bad.” Remus does his very best to sound casual, but he can’t help the corners of his mouth curling slightly upwards thinking about some of the times spent in the Black manor.
“Oh oh,” Mary says, staring at him with a piercing gaze. “Look at his face.”
“Ah, yes,” Marlene says. “I see.”
“Maybe it’s just the heat?” Lily suggests weakly.
“No,” Mary says decidedly, shaking her head. “The combination of a blush like that and the dreamy look in his eyes can only have one explanation.” She points her fork accusingly in Remus’ direction, pancake pieces flying through the air. “You’ve met Sirius Black!”
Remus tries to look unaffected and calmly meets her gaze. “I may have seen him around.”
Marlene leans forward resting her head on her hand. “So he still looks like that, huh?”
“He does Marlene,” Remus replies, forgetting about seeming unaffected. “He really does, and I was very unprepared.”
Mary chuckles. “Some things there’s no preparing for.”
“It doesn’t matter what he looks like,” Lily interjects, looking at Remus pointedly. “You cannot start being friends with Sirius Black!”
Remus rolls his eyes. “I haven’t started being friends with Sirius Black.”
Lily lets out a relieved breath and takes a sip of her tea.
“I’vestarteddatingSiriusBlack,” Remus murmurs in one breath.
Lily spits out her tea, Marlene drops her fork with a clatter, and Mary actually shrieks.
“What?” Lily coughs, dapping her chin with her napkin.
“You… are dating… Sirius Black?” Marlene asks, stunned.
Mary just stares at Remus with something like awe.
Remus shrugs. “We kind of clicked.”
“Dating Sirius Black,” Mary whispers. “Many have tried, and many have failed.”
“Including you,” Marlene says to Mary.
Mary sighs wistfully. “I should’ve taken tutoring sessions with Regulus.”
Marlene whacks her over the head. “I’m pretty sure Sirius Black’s type is cute, freckled guys with big eyes and floppy hair. Not whoever his little brother happens to be tutoring at the time.”
“You shouldn’t be dating Sirius Black!” Lily points her finger accusingly in Remus’ direction. “That guy cannot be trusted! He’s bad news, Remus.”
Remus arches an eyebrow. “He has been nothing but respectful towards me, and has never given me a reason not to trust him.”
“Well, maybe you don’t actually know him that well,” Lily retorts.
“I’ll find that out for myself then, won’t I?” Irritation seeps through in Remus’ voice. “I’m very much capable of making my own decisions.”
“You are,” Lily replies. “If you were making those decisions with your brain and not some other body part.”
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Lily, Remus,” Marlene says hesitantly. “I think you can’t see that Sirius Black is no good for you.”
“Yeah,” even Mary chimes in. “While I know it’s easy to get distracted by that hair, and those eyes, and that smile, and those shoulders, and that arse- wait, what was I saying again?”
Marlene whacks Mary over her head.
“Look, I’m not just dating him because he’s a walking definition of physical perfection,” Remus says. “He’s so clever, and he’s always doing nice things for me, he actually listens to what I say, and he always makes me laugh…”
“Oh god.” Lily is staring at him with a horrified expression on her face. “You’re falling in love with him!”
Remus can feel his cheeks reddening, but he refuses to look away and stares back defiantly. “If I was, I’d be none of your business.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Remus!”
“I appreciate your concern,” Remus says cooly. “But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Fine,” Lily scoffs. “If he does break your heart and you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me. And whatever you do, do not mention him in front of-”
“Hi, Lilyflower!”
“James!” Lily shrieks, whirling around in her chair and her voice sounding three octaves higher than usual. “Hello. Hi. How do you do? Fancy seeing you here.”
James gives her a funny look. “You mean where we agreed I’d meet you to give you back your car keys? Thanks again for letting me borrow your car, by the way.”
“Oh, right. Silly me,” Lily says with a very unnatural chuckle, as James places the keys in her hand.
James glances around the table suspiciously. “What were you talking about?”
“School,” Lily says, at the same time Marlene says “the weather”, and Mary says “cows”.
James looks at Remus, but he looks just as confused as James is.
“Alright then…” James says. “Well, sorry for interrupting your school-wheather-cow discussion.” He bends to give Lily a kiss on her cheek. “See you tonight, babe.”
“Yes, toodles!” Lily says, and James gives her an amused look before walking away.
Lily slumps in her chair.
“I think that went pretty well,” Mary says.
Marlene whacks her over the head. “Cows?”
“I panicked!”
Remus arches an eyebrow and leans forward in his chair towards Lily. “Care to tell me why I can’t mention Sirius to James?”
Lily sighs. “Back when Sirius Black was still in our class, he and James were best friends.”
“More than best friends,” Marlene adds. “Like brothers. Platonic soulmates.”
“You never saw one without the other,” Mary chimes in. “They were on the football team together, sat next to each other in class, were always pranking the teachers together.”
Marlene snickers. “The teachers always said ‘PotterandBlack’ in one breath.”
“Well, yeah,” Lily says. “But then Black started skipping grades, and I don’t know, he must’ve thought he was too good for James suddenly. He just stopped hanging out with him, quitted the football team and didn’t speak to James anymore.”
“That’s rough,” Remus frowns. “Without giving any explanation?”
Mary nods sadly. “It was a though time for James.”
“It really threw him off,” Lily agrees. “It was hard to see.”
“I thought you said you hated James back then?” Remus asks.
“Nah, she didn’t,” Mary replies.
Marlene smirks. “Unless it was in a ‘I hate James Potter and his stupid face, with his stupidly sexy hair and that stupidly cute grin, and those horribly pretty eyes and outrageously broad shoulders’.”
“Anyway,” Lily says pointedly, her cheeks flushed. “The point is that you deserve better, Remus. Someone who treats people as if they’re disposable is obviously no boyfriend-material.”
Remus thinks about it for a moment. “Alright,” he eventually says. “I’ll admit that I see where you’re coming from, but still. I have to make my own judgment from my own experience with Sirius.”
“I respect that,” Lily replies, only a tad reluctantly. “All I ask is for you to be on your guard.”
Remus walks home with Marlene, who’s going in the same direction.
“How are you going to handle it, though?” Marlene asks. “I mean, it must be stuck in your head, the question what Sirius Black’s deal was with that whole thing with James?”
“It is,” Remus replies. “But I’ve come up with an ingenious plan to find out.”
“Which is?” Marlene asks.
“Out-of-the-box as it may be,” Remus says. “I’ll go up to Sirius and ask him ‘what was your deal with that whole thing with James?’.”
Marlene grins. “I can see Sirius Black didn’t just like you for your pretty face!”
“Oh Marls,” Remus throws an arm around her shoulders. “You forget that he met me while I was doing statistics.”
Marlene throws her head back and laughs. “I take it back! It was definitely your pretty face!”
Remus decides to go and see Sirius that very evening. They didn’t make any plans, but Remus figures he can always check if he’s home. He walks up to the Black manor and knocks. After a few moments, an anxious looking Regulus opens the door, only slightly.
“What are you doing here?” Regulus hisses, the moment he recognizes Remus.
Remus is about to answer, when a woman’s shrill voice sounds from the living room.
“You ungrateful brat! After everything we’ve done for you, you’ll choose to shame us?”
Remus blinks, and Regulus looks over his shoulder and then back to Remus.
“This is not a good time,” he tells Remus. “You should leave, quickly!”
A man’s heavy voice now comes through. “You’re embarrassing yourself. And worse, you’re embarrassing your family. I’m starting to doubt whether you’re even worthy of being our son.”
Suddenly, Sirius bursts out the living room, pushes the front door further open, and stalks out into the street. He’s walking fast, jaw tight, and eyes fixed on the floor. He doesn’t even register that he walked right past Remus.
Regulus makes a move as if to follow him, but then the woman’s voice sounds again. “Regulus! Regulus Black, where are you? You get over here immediately. I will not have you talk to your brother!”
Regulus looks terribly conflicted between hurrying after Sirius and making sure his parents don’t freak out more.
“I can go after him,” Remus offers in a quiet whisper. “Then you can deal with your parents.”
Regulus nods gratefully, before disappearing back into the house.
Remus finds Sirius sitting on some steps not far from the house, his head in his hands. He looks up at Remus’ approaching footsteps and startles.
“What… what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. I was at the door.”
Sirius shakes his head. “I didn’t even see…”
Remus smiles. “I noticed.”
“Did you hear…?”
“Only some bits.” Remus sits down one step above Sirius and threads his fingers through his hair. “Wanna talk about it?”
Sirius shrugs. “I told my parents I was thinking about becoming a veterinarian instead of a doctor. I thought they’d might be okay with it, as it’s still a medical profession, not too much of a deviation from their plan, but apparently veterinarian is ‘an inferior profession much below their status’ and I am ‘selfish, stubborn and ungrateful to even consider it’.”
“I’m sorry,” Remus says softly.
Sirius sighs. “Yeah. I’m just sick of it, you know? Sick of trying to live up to their expectations instead of my own.”
“Is that also why you stopped being friends with James?” Remus asks hesitantly.
“I ruined my friendship with James for the same reason I’ve ruined each good thing I’ve had in my life,” Sirius replies bitterly. “My bloody parents.”
Remus stays silent, and after a moment, Sirius continues.
“They said I couldn’t become a doctor if I kept wasting my time on playing football and acting childish with immature people. Being a dumb fifteen-year-old, I believed them, and considering the option of not becoming a doctor never even occurred to me. It was the plan they had set out for me since the day I was born, it was a given.” Sirius turns his head to look at Remus. “Did James tell you?”
Remus shakes his head. “I heard from others.”
“Right,” Sirius looks away again, but Remus can still see the pained expression in his eyes. “I knew that. Regulus already told me James never even mentions me anymore.”
“Well, you’ve never given him a reason,” Remus says. “James is a good person-”
“He’s the best,” Sirius immediately says.
“Right. If you had just explained the situation to him?”
“I know,” Sirius sighs. “But James was like… the height of cool, and I had somehow managed to convince everyone I was the same. I just couldn’t bear the embarrassment of telling him it was because my mommy said no, so I took the cowardice approach. I just stopped talking to him. I regretted it soon after, but by then I was convinced he already hated me, and it seemed futile to make him hate me again for a different reason.” Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “Now I regret ending the friendship in the first place. Hanging out, playing football, pulling pranks… Life was fun back then, you know?” Sirius looks down at the stone pavement. “Life hasn’t been fun in a while.”
“It’s supposed to be!” Remus says. “Especially at our age. Life’s supposed to be fun.”
“I mean, life was fun these past weeks with you, but those years in between…” Sirius shrugs.
Remus moves down a step and takes Sirius’ hand in his. “Look at me, Sirius. You deserve to play football and pull pranks, to become a veterinarian and live life according to your own expectations, and you deserve to have fun!”
Sirius just stares at him, his eyes seeming glassy.
Remus, suddenly feeling awkward, drops Sirius’ hand. “So, I don’t expect I’ll be meeting the parents any time soon?” Remus meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, especially since he and Sirius aren’t even officially together, but Sirius looks at him intently.
“If you want me to tell them about you, I will.”
“What?” Remus asks, bewildered. “They’ll kill you!”
Sirius shrugs. “Most likely.” And Remus hates the casual certainty in which he says it, and he hates even more that he’s not sure if Sirius means it in a manner of speaking.
“But I want you to know I’m not ashamed of you.”
“I appreciate it, really,” Remus says. “But I don’t want you doing anything stupid for my sake!”
“But Remus,” Sirius says. “Isn’t that the foundation of our relationship? Me doing stupid things for your sake?”
Remus chuckles. “Perhaps, but this is not something that needs doing for my sake! I don’t mind. Well, I mind for as much as that I whish you had decent parents whose heads aren’t so far up their arses, but I don’t mind for my sake.” Remus smirks. “I think it’s kind of hot, actually. Our romance being-” He lowers his voice to a husky whisper. “forbidden.”
Sirius snorts. “You’re insane.” But he’s smiling again, so Remus considers it an absolute win.
“I mean it! We’re like Romeo and Julliet!”
Sirius raises his eyebrows. “You do know their romance lasted five days and six people died?”
Remus shrugs. “We can break that record.”
Sirius raises his eyebrows even further.
“Oh, god, for the number of days! Not the number of deaths! I don’t want anyone to die for our romance! Although, if some tragedy were to befall your parents…”
“Remus!”
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!”
Sirius shakes his head, but Remus likes to think it is the fond sort of headshake. His suspicion is confirmed when Sirius cups his face between his hands and strokes Remus’ cheeks with his thumbs.
“You’re insane, Remus Lupin,” he says softly. “And I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Part one
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maplecornia · 3 years ago
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chapter 24
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𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.94K
𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?
𝔞/𝔫: things are getting heavyyy
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language
tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo
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If you're still enough, you can hear the inner whispers of your heart.
Have you noticed?
You're able to hear everything you have kept locked away. It tries to break through the cage, and you can feel the chains growing weaker and weaker with each passing moment. Each tick of the clock drawing closer and closer to the moment where you can no longer hold it in.
Where you finally break down.
Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair, the meeting room now empty and dark. It's hard to believe that at the break of day it was filled with conflict and torn decisions.
-
"I'm against it."
At the sound of Yoongi's sharp dismissal, it's as though the room wakes up. Some in protest, some in shock. Suga raises his brow at the reaction, almost scoffing when he sees it.
"It's too much of a risk." He sighs almost in contempt. "If you want her so badly, why not sign her with Source or Pledis? They're our shareholders for a reason. Plus, since we're all under HYBE it will be exactly like she were a BigHit affiliation. Given the way this industry runs, however, she's probably best out of Kpop and should be signed under HYBE America. After all, she is a foreigner."
Though they are harsh, his words make sense. This would be the most logical approach rather than breaking their ban on female trainees. They made the ban for a reason, Yoongi doesn't understand why they would throw that away for someone who is slightly talented.
Besides, what about every other talented girl before her?
What reason should she have to achieve the dream which they were denied?
"I have to agree with Yoongi," Jin speaks up, his brow furrowed in concentration. "She has a unique and beautiful voice, that much is true. It'd be a shame to let it go, but if you think about it, we wouldn't be letting it go. Giving it to another company under HYBE might provide a better chance for her in the industry."
Taehyung bites his lip, not liking where this is going.
Jin glances around the table, hesitating before he says his next piece.
"We just got back, can we trust that they'll accept us if we do this? Next thing you know there'll be rumors of a scandal."
Though it was all on their minds, it still hurts to hear it out loud.
Can they trust ARMY to be there for them this time?
"It is a bit concerning. She'll be the only female trainee in an all-male company. Can you imagine the rumors? The field day Dispatch would have? She'd be hated before she even had a chance to show them her worth." Jhope murmurs under his breath, his eyes sparkling with deep worry.
They've all faced that. The fear of being hated for just being you. For existing without the mask.
"But I liked her," Jimin says, leaning forward. Though his words are simple, they are said with the most sincerity. "She's someone you hardly ever see, her voice stays with you, it doesn't leave. It's the kind that people can't get enough of. That's something special...shouldn't we take that into account?"
Biting his inner cheek, Taehyung glances up at BangPD, wondering if he knows. Did Jungkook tell him? He knew about Yen, why wouldn't he have found out about him as well?
If only he hadn't saved that recording. If only he hadn't been so careless, then none of this would have happened.
Somehow he feels as though those moments are being stolen from him.
"Jimin has a point, Yoongi. Did you hear her?" Jin speaks up, his gaze glazing over as though he were looking into the distance. Or recalling a long forgotten memory. Yoongi scoffs and smirks bitterly.
"Of course I did, I have ears."
"Are you sure?" Jin mutters in response, but it's almost as though Yoongi can't hear him.
"Think of this realistically, you have to know there's zero to no chance of her making it. Even if she's talented." There's a moment of uncomfortable silence at his words, words which no one wanted themselves to say. Sighing, Suga gestures towards Namjoon.
"Come on, Joon back me up here."
The room turns to Namjoon, waiting to hear his response.
He stays silent for a moment, his hand resting on his chin as he ponders the situation, his deep eyes calculating moves and countermoves. Possible situation and solutions.
All while trying to forget that the possible trainee is Yen.
Biting his bottom lip, he can't help but remember the way she was in the studio. How her eyes lit up with unimaginable love and devotion. A look only a fellow artist would be able to recognize. She was made for this, he can tell. She yearns to sing, to be lost in music, enveloped in a world of her own making. To be able to share that with others.
Looking over at BangPD, he narrows his eyes thoughtfully.
"What are you planning to do?"
Yoongi's eyes widen at Namjoon’s question, and he leans back, looking to BangPD's response. Bang Sihyuk smiles softly, almost as though he expected this.
For some reason, that look irks Taehyung.
Don’t think you can control us. We weren’t made for your chessboard.
"It will be on a purely trial basis. I am planning to sign her as a trainee, but the public will not know about it until I am sure that she will be a good addition." He looks towards Suga, pointedly directing his next statement towards him. "I understand your concerns for her. After all, she would be our first female trainee for a while."
Suga bites his inner cheek in protest, leaning back in his chair and brooding.
"However, I have been planning this for a while now." The room goes silent with the revelation as they turn to him, waiting for him to reveal more. "Ever since you've left for the military, I've been thinking of possible trainees to recruit for a new girl group. The first girl group to be officially under BigHit entertainment. They would be managed, produced, and signed underneath our label. Not through a loophole like BE:LIFT, Source Music, or Pledis. This would be ours and ours alone."
Jimin shakes his head in confusion. "Why now? What changed?"
BangPD sighs, his careful eyes scanning the room in a calm and collected manner.
"I don't know entirely myself." He rubs his face before continuing, playing with the portfolio of Yen. "I thought it was time to expand our horizons, to try something new...I guess you could say I was inspired."
He glances towards Namjoon, and Joon can't help but remember that day all those years ago.
The day when BangPD proposed a plan, an inspiration to him, not quite unlike this one.
Namjoon’s brow furrowed in concentration, he turns to your smiling photo, still spread across the table.
Was it you?
Were you the reason for this inspiration?
"In any case, before I moved any further, I wanted to see if things would work out with her. One trainee. I didn't want to make a mistake like last time, hence the trial period." Bang Sihyuk continues, swaying a bit in his chair.
"Who would train her?" Taehyung mutters underneath his breath, unable to look away from your photo this whole time. Turning to BangPD, his eyes are aflame with conviction. "If we have our normal staff take part in her training, we won't be able to control who else could find out. If her existence were to be completely secret, who could we trust?"
It's a valid question, but Taehyung doesn't like the glint Sihyuk gets in his eyes at the notion. Silently, he wishes he never spoke up. Maybe then he would've been able to stay under the radar, and BangPD would never have to suspect he had any affiliation with the girl.
With Yen.
"You would."
Two words is all it takes.
Two words and the room is in an uproar.
"What are you talking about?! We have enough on our plate with our comeback, and now you expect us to train a girl who shouldn't even be here in the first place?!" Yoongi is so outraged that he stands, his chair rolling back into the wall.
"Yoongi, calm down--" RM begins, but Suga isn't willing to listen to anyone at the moment.
"Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under? And now you want to add an inexperienced trainee to our list of burdens just because she can sing?!" he snarls, his lip curling in disgust, his eyes dark with anger.
"Yoongi-hyung, you heard her voice. You have to admit that we found something here." Jungkook speaks up, meekly. Taehyung narrows his eyes his way.
Just what does Jungkook get out of all this? Taehyung knows he has to be the one who gave BangPD the file of your voice. He was the only other one there, besides Taehyung. Taehyung himself couldn’t bring himself to give you the flash drive, but Jungkook didn’t even think to tell you. He went straight to BangPD as though this were his decision to make. Did he even think of asking you what you thought?
What’s your angle?
Yoongi rolls his eyes, gesturing to the portfolio on the table.
"Yeah, we found something. But not something worth risking everything we built over!"
"Don't you think you're being a dramatic? We aren't even sure if this will work out. It's just a trial, and it's the best option for us to train them given the situation." Namjoon murmurs, rationally. Suga's eyes flame with defiance at the rebuttal and slams his hand on the table.
"And what happens if word gets out before we're ready?"
The room goes silent with the ultimatum, and they all avoid his gaze.
"What happens when we're the cause of her downfall?"
Glancing at each other, they ponder the question. A question that has weighed heavily on them ever since they debuted, ever since they became the star in the public's eye. Ever since the world knew about the boy group...
BTS.
Scowling, Yoongi pulls away.
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have time for this. I have work to do, work that has been waiting for us for 2 years! Or did you all forget our promise?" When they don't answer him, he scoffs, pulling his backpack on his shoulder and walking out the door. "I'll see you at practice."
There's a moment of silence as soon as Yoongi leaves, silence uncomfortable and pressing. Licking his lips in nervous anticipation, Hoseok looks at the rest of them, almost unsure.
"Is he going to be okay?"
BangPD leans forward, folding his hands on the table.
"Don't worry about Yoongi, I'll talk to him later. But what about the rest of you?"
His quick, analytical eyes scan the table, hovering over every one of them. Almost as if he were trying to predict what exactly they would say next.
"Do you agree?"
-
Now, Taehyung grits his teeth. His grip tightening around the water bottle he was playing with in his hands, he throws it across the wall. As he watches it crumble at the force, he finds the ruin in his mind easing. Water drips off of the wall, and he feels a sort of sadistic satisfaction at the sight of destruction.
Now he’s not the only one broken.
But once that fades, he's left once more with his memories and his regret.
"Dammit." He groans, dropping his face in his hands hopelessly.
-
Standing, Tae grabs Jungkook by the hand before he can follow the rest of them out. The door shuts behind them, leaving only him and Jungkook in the meeting room, an uneasy silence hanging over them. With words they need to say, questions waiting to be answered.
"Taeh--" Jungkook begins, but in his rush, Tae interrupts him.
"Were you there?"
The silence that blossoms between them grows to a deafening roar as Jungkook gently pulls away from Taehyung's firm hold. It creates a bitter but necessary distance between the two of them. It lets them know that they're different, that what happened back then was something that belonged to one as much as it did the other.
"You heard her too, didn't you?" Jungkook murmurs, his words turning Taehyung's blood cold. Smiling softly, Jungkook runs his hands through his hair. "I saw you as you were leaving, you were the one who recorded her, aren't you?"
Biting his bottom lip, Tae can't answer. Even though he knows that moment wasn't his, even though he knows that his ideas of fate and chance have been destroyed, he's unable to admit to it. He can't find it in him to voice the fact that he was there, that he gave birth to her chance, and he wanted it to be his and his alone.
Jungkook chuckles nervously at the silence before speaking once more.
"I wonder...why didn't you have the same idea as me?"
-
His hands tangled up in the locks of his hair, Taehyung stares at the slick wooden table, his heart in knots and his mind jumbled.
"Why didn't I?" he mutters to himself, a soft whisper that lingers empty on the air. "Why couldn't I say anything?"
Pulling away from the table, where Yen's future was decided this morning, he swallows hard. By the end of the day, he found himself lingering around this room, the studio, anyplace that reminded him of her.
Laughing bitterly, he rubs his forehead.
"Why..." He whispers, holding his phone tightly to his chest.
"Why can't I forget you?"
Biting his bottom lip, he quickly messages you, having the sudden urge to see you. Maybe then, would he realize what he can't find? Would he be able to create another memory, another moment in time? One that was yours and yours alone?
After a couple of moments, you don't answer.
Maybe...I was just afraid of letting go.
Standing almost decisively, he rushes out of the room, and down the hallways of the building.
I need to know.
As he rides the same elevator you rode yesterday down to the lobby, he holds his phone tighter in his hand.
If I don't find out now, I may never get another chance.
Desperate, he sends another message to you.
One more time.
Catching his face in the metallic walls of the elevator, he can't help but imagine yours smiling up at him. A face that makes everything seem alright again.
That's all I need.
What happens when that is taken away from him? What happens when he can no longer see the person who gives him courage? Biting his lip, he can feel the pain in his chest grow.
Just let me see you one more time.
He doesn't want to let you go.
As the elevator dings and he steps out, he pauses, seeing Namjoon right in front of him. Namjoon glances up, his eyes glazed over and tired, but when he sees Tae, they widen in recognition. Taehyung smiles inwardly to himself, he knows this look. A look lost in the wilderness of creativity and desolation.
"Oh, Taehyung!" he says, and Taehyung nods to him curtly before brushing past him and continuing to the front door. Namjoon, however, catches him by the wrist and Tae pauses, turning around.
"Namjoon?" His face is blank, but something in his eyes tells Tae to be wary. They are sort of dark, not really there, but urgent and anxious. Taehyung wonders how eyes can hold so many words, and yet tell you nothing at all.
"You knew, didn't you?"
At his words, Tae blinks, his heart pounding.
"I..."
"That's why you followed her, how you knew about her injury."
How does he know?
"When were you going to tell me?"
Biting his bottom lip, Taehyung can't help but feel a bit of aggravation towards his older friend. Why can't he keep anything to himself? Why is it a crime for him to live his own life, without everyone looking in? Yanking his arm out of Namjoon's grip, he scowls, turning on his heel.
"When it became your business."
Namjoon stands there, a bit in shock before rushing forward and taking Tae forcibly by the arm once more.
"Taehyung, wait!" At his touch, Tae tries to pull away, but Namjoon won't budge, his eyes desperate and wild. They unnerve Taehyung, make him want to escape, hide away until everything turns back to normal again. "If she's going to become an idol, any affiliation you have with her will only hurt her."
Tae's eyes widen at his words, snapping a hidden string he didn't know he had inside of him. RM doesn't notice, instead, his grip tightens around Tae until he feels as though he's suffocating from the inside out.
"You know that right?"
Gritting his teeth, Tae pulls away from Namjoon, staggering back until he's a good distance away. Raising his eyes to his hyung, Namjoon finds a look he's never seen in his younger friend before.
Loathing.
"Don't act as though you know everything." He spits before turning away and walking out of the door.
Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave before glancing over at the now empty lobby. The lobby where just a day ago, he met a sweet, cheerful girl. Someone who filled his mind with inspiration and wonder.
Smiling sadly, he rubs the back of his neck, looking up at the sky as though that will offer him the answers he seeks.
"Just who are you, Yen?"
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𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: this one was actually pretty hard to write, i'm ngl ;-;
chapter 25 here
check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters
check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content
check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics
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The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 10 of 18)
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Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader
Word count: 2.7K
Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...
As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?
<- Previous part (09)
Next part (11)->
{Stranger Things Masterlist}
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Monsters Lurking In The Dark
Yesterday's happenings are making a lot of people talk to you today. They ask if you're alright, if you had to go to the hospital, why Billy ran like a lightning bolt to reach you... Some of them are actually being kind. Others, not so much. It feels like they're trying to get you to say something else, scavenging for a secret. Jason is the only one to actually get into a long conversation, making sure you're alright and giving you tips to avoid heat exhaustion again. But the others, mostly the girls, make awkward questions. You get that Billy's behavior is changing. Monica is often telling you about how some girls ask her if she knows what's going on between you and Billy. She never answers though, saying this isn't their business.
As you pace around the pool, a bottle of water on your hand since Billy is literally forcing you to drink water by the hour, you spot him chatting with some of his friends. Tommy and Carol are the only ones you can name, and you never got why you only hang out with your friends and not his. Billy has his eyes on the pools and the whistle between his lips. Tommy goes on about something, and suddenly, Billy lets the whistle fall, giving Tommy a weird stare. You giggle a little at his expression, crossing your arms.
“Look who's staring now,” Monica says in a provoking tone, stopping by your side. “But I totally get it. I'd be shamelessly staring too if I didn't have my sweetheart.”
“How's Christopher by the way?” She told you he had an accident in the garden, which got him a nasty cut on the leg.
“Complaining. But I'm enjoying taking care of him.” She smiles, and her eyes shine. Every passing day you're more convinced they're in love with each other. That you'll be attempting to their wedding one day. “What about you? You gotta be careful with the sun.”
“I am.” Raising your hand, you show her the bottle. “Billy is driving me insane. I swear I can't drink any more water today.”
“Can you blame him? I thought he'd have a heart attack yesterday.” He tilts her head to where he is, across the pools. His eyes meet yours and he winks. “Poor guy, he has it bad for you.”
Giggling, you look down because you're surely blushing. “Oh, tell me something. Some people came to talk to me, you know. Asking if I was alright. But some of them made some very awkward questions.”
“Yeah, that's because they think you're pregnant.”
Your eyes go wide, and you gasp, feeling your whole body numb for a moment. “What the hell,” you exclaim, a little too loud. Looking around, you notice some eyes on you. “Holy shit, Monica. Tell me you're joking.”
“Small town, (Y/N), people talk.” She puts a hand on your shoulder. “Trust me, half the women here went through something like that. They'll let go in a few weeks.”
“Do you think Billy knows?” You lift your eyes to look for him, but you only find his friends.
“Probably. But look, don't worry about it. You're the new girl who managed to hook Billy Hargrove, the town's bad boy. People will talk, but don't let it ruin what you have with him.”
“No, of course not.” As much as it bugs you, it doesn't change anything. “You know I'm falling for him, right?” You burst out, feeling the sudden need to let it out your chest. “Completely.”
“I'm noticing. You–”
She's cut short when you're pulled into something. Someone. You roll your eyes because you know who it is. Billy pulls you against his chest, his lips on your ear. “Do you know what they're saying about yesterday's episode?” He whispers, a hand coming to caress your belly.
Great. Now this will certainly make people forget this story. “Yeah. They think I'm carrying a tiny Billy.” You mutter, waving at Monica as she walks away with a smirk on her lips. “Was that what Tommy told you? You made a funny face.”
“Yes, but he said it in a way that almost had me breaking his ugly nose.” He keeps you close, despite the public. And honestly, you don't mind. A few days ago you'd push him away, but now... They'll speak anyway, so it doesn't matter.
“Hey, why don't we never hang out with your friends?” You take the chance to ask. “You don't want them to see you with me?” It's impossible not to follow this train of thought, and it does sound stupid judging by the way he's holding you right now, for everyone to see.
“Of course not. It just that I know the kind of assholes they are and I'm sure you won't like them.”
“But it's weird. I don't want you to think I'm forcing you to only hang out with my party.”
He takes a deep breath, and you feel his chest moving. That reminds you he's shirtless... “I'll introduce you to them... In the funfair tomorrow.”
“Oh my God, the funfair!” You exclaim. People have been talking about it for a few days, but you totally forgot. “I've never been to anything like that.”
“You're gonna love it.”
“You two. Back to your chairs.” The manager shouts from somewhere behind you, and you both roll your eyes at the same time.
“Talk to you later,” you tell him, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek.
“Remember to–”
“Yeah, yeah. Water, stay in the shadow. If I feel dizzy I'll shout for my knight in shining armor.” Walking backwards, you smirk at him. “Eyes on the pool, Hargrove,” you warn him, turning around and making your way back to the chair.
You're glad you're feeling good, no sign of anything you felt yesterday. And it isn't as hot as it was, so that's a bonus. You're peacefully watching the kids, yelling at some, threatening some teenagers to ban them for life, just the normal stuff. Through the corner of your eye, you notice Billy gesturing. When you look at him, he shows you his bottle.
Shaking your head no, you try to ignore him. But you are a little thirsty, so you sigh before jumping to the ground. On your way to the cafeteria, you stop by his chair. “Want some?”
“Nah, I'm good.”
“Don't act like you can't be beaten by heat exhaustion too, Hargrove. I'm bringing you some cold water.” Punching his leg playfully, you go to the cafeteria.
You're a little startled to find James in there, seated on the table next to the wall, both hands on his head. As you silently open the fridge, you wonder if you should just leave him alone. You never really spoke, and since he switched his schedule with Billy, you have seen less of him. Today should be his day off if you're not mistaken.
“Hey, James,” you say in a soft voice, standing by the fridge as you take one of the bottles Billy has for you. “You ok?”
“Huh?” He looks up abruptly, suddenly aware he's not alone. “Hey.”
You were going to leave, but he seems scared... Red eyes as if he didn't get any sleep. “Is something wrong?” You sit before him, placing the bottle on the table. “You look... sad.”
“Oh, it's just... Nothing, really. It's stupid.” He's mumbling under his breath, a line of sweat on his forehead.
“Whatever it is it's not stupid. Who told you it was?”
“My parents, my brother.” He breathes out, his eyes suddenly meeting yours. “You're new here, right? Did you move from a big city?”
“New York. Why?”
“I'm from Washinton. Have you ever crossed paths with something in the woods? Some... Some kind of animal? And when you told someone they just said it was because you're some big city kid who's not used to live so near the forest and because of that you're easily impressed by anything weird you see?” James speaks fast, so fast it's hard to keep up.
“Actually yes.” You nod, keeping your voice low and soft in an attempt to calm him down. You never saw anyone so scared. “A few weeks ago I saw something, but I didn't get a good look at it. Don't know what it was.”
“I don't know what species of-of... Things they have here, but what I saw... I couldn't sleep. I thought about telling the chief of police but everyone keeps saying I'm crazy.”
“What did you see, James?”
He puts his hands on his head again, looking at the table. “It... It was the size of a dog. And I thought it was a stray dog so I stopped the car and followed it.” His voice cracks, so you get up, moving to sit on the chair beside him, touching his arm. “It was so damn dark and I had no flashlight. It was near a tree, eating something. I started calling it, trying to show it I was just trying to help but then... It-It turned at me and... Shit, the damn thing had no face. It was blank. Sticky... no fur, no eyes, nothing.” He moves suddenly, holding both your shoulders roughly. You gasp at the sudden change, looking at him, tears threatening to roll down from his eyes. “I ran like hell. I told my parents the moment I got home but they said it was something in the woods playing tricks on me but I know what I saw. The damn thing had no face, I swear–”
“Let go of her right now.” Billy's thunder voice makes James jump up, making his chair fall backwards. “What the hell do you think you're doing?”
“Billy, it's alright.” Quickly, you stand up and walk over him.
“I'm sorry, I just...” James tries to speak, hands raised in defeat. It looks like he didn't know what he was doing. “Sorry, (Y/N).”
He walks around the table, eyes on the floor. Billy gives a step towards him, but you hold him back, both hands on his chest. “Billy, no. Listen...” You whisper to him, your eyes meeting his when James finally leaves the cafeteria. “He wasn't trying to hurt me or anything, he was just scared.”
“Scared of what?” He looks down at you, his hands softly rubbing the skin of your shoulders. “It'll leave bruises. What the hell did he think he was doing?”
As much as you melt a little to feel his touch after the sting from James' grip, you have this feeling in your stomach. You can't seem to shake it away, and the more you think, the worse it gets. “Billy... Remember when I told you I saw something in the woods?” He nods, confused. “James saw it too... Same description. He... He said it had no face, and I... I think that's exactly what I saw.”
His expression changes, and you can't read his face. Taking a deep breath, he sits on the table, pulling you to sit beside him. “James came here a few months ago. From a big city too, so it's normal to be scared when–”
“He was desperate because that's exactly what people are telling him.” You cut him off, running a hand through your hair. “Billy, he wasn't scared. He was terrified.” Your voice gets lower, as your mind floats back to what you saw. Naked skin, as if it was green, covered in some disgusting thing... “I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to God his description matched what I saw that day.” It suddenly comes to your mind... There was a lab here. A lab and a bunch of weird stories about it. “Hawkins National Lab!” You exclaim, jumping to your feet. “What if they made an experiment with some kind of animal and now it's free in the woods?”
“Hawkins Lab was closed years ago.”
“I know but–” Billy takes your hand, pulling you close. He holds you by the hips, raising his head to meet your eyes from his seated position.
“Princess, listen. It's true there was a lab, and it's also true that the darkness and these woods play tricks on people who aren't used to them.” He speaks slow, eyes never leaving yours. “It may be something but it could also be a big misunderstanding. If it happens again, if you or anyone else sees anything like that, we'll tell the cops and let them deal with it.”
Taking a deep breath, you decide to let his calming tone relax you. “Alright...” Nodding, you take a look at your shoulders, spotting the purple marks of where James fingers dig into your skin. “The guy was really out of his mind,” you mutter.
“Yeah...” Billy stands up, placing a kiss on both your shoulders before straighten up, his index finger on your chin. “Let's go back there before Anthony notices we're gone again.”
Nodding, you follow him back outside.
• • •
You wish you knew how to draw. If you did, you'd make a scratch of the animal you saw, and another one of what James described, just to see if they would really match.
You're staring at the ceiling, on your unusually empty bed. Having Billy here was amazing. Beyond amazing. Having his strong arms around you, and waking up next to him on the morning was pure bliss. You never thought such a feeling existed. It felt like home, like life was nothing but a long road leading you to that very moment. To his embrace, so warm and calming.
You chose to think about that instead of the unclassified animal. That brings a shiver down your spine, different from the shivers Billy causes. The last ones are made of nervousness, excitement... All those silly things. Tossing around, you sit up, your feet on the cold floor. Your eyes fall on the necklace, that you always keep on the nightstand. Billy kept his promise, and he wears his piece every day. You have to tell him he doesn't have to, not anymore. He already made his point, and you know he has other earrings to use.
Smiling to yourself, you pick the necklace up, fingers caressing the metal. You need to tell Billy what you feel. Openly. You do have something going on, but it's still unnamed. And there's no reason to remain that way. If he wants you, if he truly wants to keep you... He has to know you want him too. That you want to be with him, and screw the rest of the world. Screw the past, the gossip, whatever people of Hawkins think. This is about both of you, nobody else. It's useless to keep pretending Billy Hargrove doesn't own your heart. This torture can't continue, there's no reason to.
Your train of thought is interrupted by the phone's loud ring. You're about to answer when you hear your aunt's footsteps downstairs. It's probably Robert, she was saying something about him calling her today. As she picks up, you put the necklace down and walk over the window, feeling the fresh summer breeze tickling your skin.
“(Y/N)!” Diane shouts, and her urgent tone startles you. “(Y/N)! Pick up the phone!” Her rapid footsteps bring her to your bedroom, a worried expression on her face. “Pick up now. It's Max, she's crying. I don't know–”
The mention of Billy's sister has you moving, picking up the light pink phone you have on the nightstand. “Max?” You breathe out, eyes focused on Diane as she breathes fast.
“(Y/N)..!” Her voice is weak, like a low scream. You hear voices behind her, and you immediately recognize Billy's. But there's someone else, a man's voice. “(Y/N), please, you need to–” She's cut short by something breaking. “It's Neil. He's here, please–”
“Hang up the damn–” Then it's over.
For a moment, a second, you just stand there, frozen, looking at Diane. But on the next one, you're moving, your heart threatening to beat its way out of your chest.
“Honey, what is it?” Diane follows as you rush downstairs, grabbing nothing but the car keys.
“Billy's father. I gotta go.” It's everything you manage to say before storming outside.
×
A/N: Things are about to get chaotic...
×
@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @tilesandtokens @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @dontxfearxthereaper
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politalysis · 4 years ago
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# What has happened to JK Rowling?
Growing up in the early 2000s immediately made Harry Potter a huge part of your childhood. Even if you never read the books or watched the films, you can probably name the three main characters. Even if you weren’t interested in Harry Potter in the slightest, you probably know your Hogwarts house. It’s incredible what Harry Potter did for our generation all over the world. Children would stay up on their eleventh birthdays anxiously awaiting a Hogwarts acceptance letter, knowing full well that owl was never going to come. Our imagination kept the dream of going to Hogwarts and learning magic alive anyway. Even now at the age of 23, I can for the most part keep a conversation flowing with anyone who has read the books or even just watched the films. You could even go as far as to say it was our generation’s Lord of the Rings.
JK Rowling came from very humble beginnings. She suffered with depression in her childhood and early teens, and lost her mother to multiple sclerosis in 1990. These struggles inspired her a lot when writing Harry Potter. She channeled her grief and pain into her writing. In 1992, she married a man she had met whilst living in Portugal, but Rowling suffered domestic abuse at his hands and the couple separated a year later. She lost her job and moved to Edinburgh in Scotland, where she had to sign up for welfare benefits, which left her a poor and depressed single mother spending her time writing in coffee shops. When she finished writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, twelve publishers rejected the opportunity to publish the book. Once someone finally agreed to publish the book, it became the best selling children’s book of the year.
We all know how the story goes from there. Rowling wrote six more Harry Potter books, eight films were made, and Rowling went from a poor vulnerable single mother to a multi millionaire in the space of a few short years. Harry Potter is now a global brand estimated to be worth about $15 billion. The last four books have each consecutively set the record for the fastest selling book in history. Rowling is now the richest author in the world, with a net worth of $92 million. But as well as money, JK Rowling has over 14 million followers on Twitter. This gives her massive influence as well as money. Rowling seemed to initially use this influence for good, spreading mental health awareness, LGBT inclusivity, interacting with fans and creating a website for all us Harry Potter fans to determine our houses and let our wands choose us.
I remember being 8 years old when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released, and I was attending a religious school where some parents complained and called to ban Harry Potter over the controversial decision JK Rowling made regarding Dumbledore’s sexuality. Rowling had made the claim that Dumbledore was gay. Looking back, the controversy was ridiculous and I can only imagine how embarrassed some of those parents must be. I also remember as I got older, re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I noticed more that the emotion behind Dumbledore’s relationship with Grindelwald was one he held with a romantic love. So years later, when several members of the LGBT community attacked Rowling for only deciding Dumbledore’s sexuality after the books were written, I publicly defended her with my knowledge that that simply wasn’t true. I had this image of Rowling in my mind, that she had always been on the right side of this debate. She had always been inclusive and supportive of LGBT people as far as I could see, and I just didn’t understand the issue. Rowling had always expressed a centre-left political perspective, and although I didn’t agree with all her views, they seemed relatively uncontroversial.
When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released, I hated it. It was a literary disaster, completely disrespectful of the original book series, the characters were a shell of the characters we had grown up with, the plot was almost deliberately ridiculous and overly elaborate and I immediately dismissed it as not canon. I have never forgiven JK Rowling for publicly stating the book was canon. She almost destroyed a whole two decades of her own hard work and the franchise that she’d built that had been like a home for a whole generation. All because she wanted to grab a few extra quid for a terrible book she didn’t even write. To this day I can’t help but wonder if she has even read the book. If I had written the masterpiece that is Harry Potter, I would view the Cursed Child as an insult. Perhaps I’ll even write a review one day, just for fun. Rowling also annoyed me by going back on her story, regretting pairing Ron and Hermione together and not pairing Hermione with Harry. Ron and Hermione are my favourite couple from the story, and their relationship had so much meaning. I couldn’t believe that the author who wrote such a clever and consistent relationship between two beloved characters could ever regret it. At this point in my life, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps Rowling was losing her mind. It was almost like she was trying to destroy her legacy.
As more years passed, the Fantastic Beasts films were released. The first film looked promising, but the second film was yet another disaster. Again, it was inconsistent with the franchise as we knew it, for some reason Hogwarts was full of people wearing 3 piece suits instead of the robes they wore in the Harry Potter series and Minerva McGonigall appeared as a teacher despite the fact that canonically there is no way she could have been old enough. The film was a disaster with both fans and critics hating it. Amongst this mess came controversy in December 2019. Rowling lost all respect she had once held amongst the transgender community when she made a public statement supporting Maya Forstater, a British woman who lost her employment tribunal case against her employer who fired her over transphobic comments. Six months later on June 6 2020, Rowling criticised the term “people who menstruate” and stated: "If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives." Rowling’s views on these issues were heavily criticised by GLAAD and even by the actors from the Harry Potter movies including lead actors Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson.
Rowling published a 3,600 word essay in response to the mass criticism of her views four days later. The essay did her no favours, as she wrote: “When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.” She seemed to be suggesting that trans women are often just men disguised as women in order to trick or even harm other women. This obviously angered the transgender community even more, and women’s refuge shelters that allow trans women were reporting no rise in violence as a result, children’s charities that support gender non conforming children were criticising Rowling, she was being made to give back awards and ultimately Rowling was labelled a Trans exclusionary radical feminist, a term often abbreviated to TERF.
JK Rowling is the perfect example of how money and influence can make someone forget their roots so easily. For someone who survived poverty, domestic abuse and sexual assault, she is so lacking in self awareness and how the things she has said and done can be harmful to transgender people. It is widely reported that transgender women are at more risk of harm in female restrooms than cisgender women. With acceptance becoming the norm, transgender people are feeling more safe to come out now than ever before, and so the rise in numbers of the community is huge, especially amongst our generation who grew up with Harry Potter. For a young transgender teenager to grow up wondering how Hogwarts would accommodate them, only to hear the author who gave us Hogwarts in the first place disapprove of equal rights for transgender people, must be very disheartening. However, JK Rowling has proven that she has no idea how powerful the legacy her books created really is. She was tasked with following up the Harry Potter series, and what she gave us was inconsistent and very poorly written screenplays. I have read better sequels on tumblr. Lots of them. Hogwarts doesn’t belong to JK Rowling, it belongs to the fandom. And I’ll be willing to bet my last penny that if Professor McGonigall witnessed any bullying of transgender students in her classroom (or indeed the girls bathroom!) she’d absolutely defend the victim without a moment’s hesitation. Hermione would decorate the Gryffindor common room with little blue, pink and white flags in support of a transgender first year who’d just been sorted into Gryffindor. Luna Lovegood would sit and befriend any trans student who looked lonely, and Ginny would dish out a bat bogey hex to anyone who dared pick on them. No matter what JK Rowling thinks, Hogwarts is not hers to ruin. It is ours. Regardless of what makes us different, Hogwarts is our home.
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nautilusopus · 4 years ago
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do you have any favorite books?
Coraline by Neil Gaiman is the obvious answer lol. Still my favourite book to this day, obviously hugely influential in my own bullshit. Seriously check it out if you can find a copy, it’s pretty short and absolutely worth your time.
The Devil’s Storybook by Natalie Babbitt and its sequel (The Devil’s Other Storybook) are more of an anthology of short stories starring the Devil, who occupies every role from vague background presence to put-upon protagonist that are funny and thought-provoking and genuinely clever and that pissed enough people off that it was a banned book for a while. “The Imp in the Basket” is the kind of short story I wish more people knew about and wanted to sincerely discuss what actually happened at the end.
ugh i haven’t read a book i actually enjoyed in over ten years at this point uhhhhhh
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I think potentially the only classic I had to read in school that I genuinely liked and actually finished in one sitting on my own time. And I think the first time any themes a book had for me actually clicked and I was able to do any kind of meta analysis of it completely unprompted. Baby’s first literary comprehension. Slaughterhouse-Five is a semi-autobiographical piece set during the bombing of Dresden in WWII, and also some period in the “future” (the 80s lol), and ALSO on an alien planet as the protagonist is abducted and taken to a human zoo. The story is told achronologically, and I feel is hugely influential to my own shit where it skips around, building a narrative almost entirely by juxtaposing specific moments in time against one another. It's surreal and thought-provoking, and if you only ever make yourself read one classic, it should be this one. *
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien. Bear in mind this thing has fuck-all to do with the movie, and while in retrospect I now am able to enjoy the Don Bluth movie as its own thing, I remember being fucking furious when they busted out a goddamn magical amulet. It’s a different kind of story, but is more magic realism than outright fantasy, and the titular rats get a lot more backstory, as does the late Mr. Frisby iirc.
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo. God that book fucked me up. It is about a snotty porcelain toy rabbit that gets dropped overboard a ship into the ocean one day, and the various owners he has over the years as he changes hands, and the impacts they have on him, and it makes me fucking cry every time and is to date the only book to ever do so so fairly warned be ye. Fucking shit I wish I could dish out gut-punches half as good as that book could.
The His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, which in and of itself is an angry rebuttal against everything the Chronicles of Narnia has to say, as well as Christianity in general. You’ve probably seen shit floating around about the HBO series, which I have not watched. Lyra is a horrible gremlin child running wild around a parallel universe Oxford until she accidentally stumbles onto a conspiracy that goes all the way to the Church which unofficially runs the government and eventually starts an interdimensional war against God. The first two books I think are better than the last one, which really drags in spots (and in a twist of irony had Lyra’s sexual awakening censored from the North American release which like... come on man). Absolutely worth checking out though, especially if you’re an angry pedant like I am.
Tales from the House of Bunnicula, by James Howe. Honestly the entire "Bunnicula Expanded Universe"(???) is great, but in particular I'm mentioning this sub-series because I think it actually kind of taught me to write. The framing device used is that they're being written by Howe's pet dog and sent in to him to publish by proxy. On top of having just a lot of good storytelling tips for beginners (how to create a plot! how to create character motivations! how to write female characters like actual people!), they're also fun little satire pieces of various kinds of genre fiction. Like, the third book is a riff on Harry Potter and making fun of all of JKR's worst writing tendencies, like her compulsion to phonetically write out everyone's fucking accent.
these days i'm just too picky to enjoy books anymore idfk. you have no idea how fucking disheartening it was growing up with actual taste (snooty snooty snoot) and watching everyone go nuts over stuff like divergent and eragon and maximum ride and fuckmothering twilight and shit. like, yeah misogyny absolutely played into why people shat on it because teenage girls aren't allowed to like anything, but lest we forget they were still shitty books guys. that never stopped being true or anything. and you were a social pariah if you didn't like them and that sucked. and then a couple ostensibly good series, like harry potter and artemis fowl and hunger games just dropped the fucking ball for one reason or another as they went on and never picked it back up. i think the mid 2000s almost singlehandedly just killed any real enthusiasm i had for reading altogether (this is not even getting into the fact a lot of really fucking bad "grown-up" novels came out around that period too. whole era was a baaaad time for books). so here i am writing, i guess, because i've decided you fuckers can't be trusted to make anything good yourselves. if you want something done right...
(*I like to think if Cloud wrote a book he’d write something like Slaughterhouse-Five. I think at one point I was even working on a fic along those lines -- a fictional story vaguely based off the burning of Nibelheim and the fall of Shinra that was written, in-universe, by Cloud several years later. Abandoned it just because of how fucking complicated it would be to do. Might come back to it one day.)
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chayacat · 4 years ago
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Devil’s Sweet Star (28)
Fandom: Dead by Daylight
Ghostface x Female Reader  
Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  
***
Do you have a favorite season? I love spring and winter. Ah spring... the most beautiful season, where flowers bloom just like love stories. Cherry blossoms... the petals that fall... a romantic movie scene, isn't it? And winter! a cold a little dry certainly ... but that is where we see the thing that amazes children. I'm not talking about Santa Claus, no. I'm talking about... Snow. There's so much you can do with snow! Snowmen, snow angels, snowball fights etc...
The falling snow brings magic to the scenery, the frozen lakes offer an incredible spectacle that allows you to play and fish... if we're careful not to break it. Because I don't know if you've ever tried swimming in a lake where the temperature is... icy, but if you want to fall into hypothermia, this is a good way to get there. but it's a good place to ice skate. If you are good enough then you will have no problem! but if you start then... you'll often hurt. Generally, what inspires you to ice skating are figure skating competitions. Unfortunately, at the moment, it is not winter. So, no ice skating. Or... You have to go to an ice rink. And that's exactly what Melina had planned to relax everyone. Especially Danny.
What put him in a bad mood? The fact that you went out with Melina last night? No no... You have the right to have fun with your friends from time to time. And he sincerely hopes you had a good time! After all, if you ever come to leave Roseville, with him, if possible, you may not be out again for a little while. No, what put our dear Danny in a bad mood is this asshole who tried to charm you at the restaurant. This wretched little bastard had the audacity to come to you, to talk to you, and in addition to touching you? And the whole thing, like he honestly thought it was going to work?
And the worst part of all this was you and Melina made it clear to him that you were already with someone. But that bastard didn't want to know. Danny finds his next victim. Thanks to you, he knows what he looks like, and when he comes into action, Danny won't miss him. No spectacular staging. A hard-line massacre. A Ghostface classic. No one has the right to touch you, even less seduce you. He doesn't know what he just got himself into. Want a good way to know when Danny's angry? Look at his eyes. They are a piercing blue as normal, well when he is angry or when he goes crazy, they are even more piercing. Like the eyes of a cat.
“Jed? Are you...Are you sure you’re alright?”  
Danny came out of his macabre dreams to watch you. Your voice, like a sweet melody to his ears, will give him a smile, his beautiful angel smile.
“Yes, excuse me. I was thinking of something else. Were you talking to me?” He asks, putting his glasses back on his nose.  
“No, I was the one talking to you. I told you not to worry about that asshole last night. We said to him to go f*ck himself, (y/n) and me. And believe me, he was doing one of those faces... he won't forget me.” respond Melina, looking in the rear-view mirror.
“I'm surprised you didn't give him an arm wrench. Or a kick where I think... I'm really surprised!” said Mattew to her with a sneaky smile.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Like what, you see that I can perfectly behave as a responsible person and act with tact and diplomacy ... before moving on to the offend. But believe me, it's not the desire that I missed. I didn't want to get banned from this restaurant anyway, it would piss me off.”
“Anyway, Melina's right. You don't have to worry about that jerk, Jeddy. It does not reach your ankle I reassure you! You're a lot sexier!” replied Mattew with a wink.
“You know if Chris finds out you said that, he's going to be jealous? but... Thank you Mattew. You're right, I don't have to get in my head for bullshit like that. But is it really necessary to go ice skating? we still have work to do you know...” said Danny. He was not going to take his head for very long, since he intends to kill him. And just that image made him shudder. He was looking forward to it.
“It's going to be good for everyone! and then we'll have fun! Don't be shy! This is not the first time we have done so. Especially you Jed.” respond Melina.  
Indeed, this is not the first time that Danny went ice skating. The Zanesville ice rink is quite large and there are not many people at this time. It's perfect, you're going to have the whole ice rink just for you... for at least two hours. Melina parked in front of the rink entrance and indeed, seen up close she was big. very big.
“How long has it been? Two years? it has not changed in any case .... I wonder if the boss still remembers the falls he took here.” says Mattew before entering, following by the others.  
“Don't worry, I think if you tell him, his lumbar will remember it. And his ass too.” respond Danny who makes you laugh.
Each one your turn, you rent ice skates. And one thing that made Danny laugh was that if he wears 40, you only wear 36. How cute, you have such small feet, in a sense it fits perfectly with your body and size. Everything is small in you. It's cute and it's funny, especially when you react to it. So small, so fragile... And yet a hell of a temper!
The ice rink was practically empty at that time, there was only a couple and two teenagers who visibly didn't have class today. Melina entered the ice first once everyone was ready, and if the start was a little difficult, she quickly took the hand. This was not the case for Mattew, who kept clinging to her every time he was about to fall.
“Have you ever done one? Or would you rather I give you a few classes? It looks like I'm a very good teacher...” said Danny to you with a wink.  
“Really funny Mr Olsen, but before you teach me, I'd like to see if you can last more than ten seconds without finishing your ass on the ice.” you respond with a little laugh.  
“Ok...as you wish miss.” Danny replied with a smile, entering the rink, getting on the ice with a disconcerting ease. “So? Convinced? I am still waiting for an answer to my question.”
“Convinced. and... No. I have never had the opportunity to do it before. So I would need a couple of lessons.” you answer.  
“Ok, first...give me your hand. Trust me, I will not let you go. Promise. I know what it's like to fall your ass first on ice and believe me, it's not pleasant at all.”
Hesitating as you step on to enter the rink, Danny gently taking your hand to bring you back to him. Well, he had to quickly catch up with you in his arms because you were slipping. If the beginning was quite complicated, because Danny had to prevent you from falling several times, after several minutes, you start to take your marks. Little by little Danny let you go and gave you more space. And once he feels you're ready, he let you go completely but stood by you just in case.
“You see! it's not that hard in the end! You're doing very well!” He said with a smile.
“I confirm, you're an excellent teacher! Thank you so much Jed!” you respond, kissing him as he kisses you back.  
Danny left you for a few moments with Melina and Mattew to skate a little on his side. The agility he had, allowed him to move perfectly on the ice. If he wanted to, he could become a skating champion, but he knows the ruthless world of the sport. All shots are allowed. And he cared a little too much about his legs to lose them in an unfortunate "accident". And then be a sportsman and a killer... don't really go together. Fame is a good thing, the problem is that when you are also a murderer, your private life... is no longer as private. Generally, there is always a clever little journalist who hangs around... And as if by chance always at the right time. At least as a journalist, Danny is quiet in his private life.
During these two hours of tranquillity, the whole small group had fun, laughing every time Mattew fell. And when he fell, Danny was always the first to go to him and pick him up. While you and Melina laughed and chatted on your side. Then the crowd began to arrive. It was time to leave because when it has too many people, it's almost impossible to skate without falling, even when we're as good as our dear assassin. So, you leave the rink, return the skates and get out of the building to get back in the car.
“So, this ice christening? it went well to what I see!” Said Melina cheerfully.  
“Speak for yourself! I didn't stop falling to the ground or catching up on the railing!” respond Mattew, a little grumpy.  
“ haaawn poor little Mattew! You'll ask Chris to give you a little massage.... If you know what I mean.”  
“... the worst part is that I know very well that it will end like this, if I ask him for a massage. If I provoke Chris once... he can quickly become wild.”
“You're not going to complain about it... it's better to be like that than not. At least he is more tactile than before. If I remember correctly, he didn't even dare hold your hand for fear of breaking it.” Replied Danny with a little smile.  
“It's true... I'll always remember, he was really too cute.” answer Mattew.  
Melina started the car and drove off towards Roseville. The return trip was more enjoyable. Danny felt a little more relaxed. But he didn't forget the other asshole. And he intends to make him regret his actions in a way... irreversible. A good old-time murder will bring back memories. Like when he slaughtered that bastard Doctor who let Carla die. He hadn't missed him that day... or rather that night. That's where his career in murder began. Because of an asshole.
But the past is the past as they say! It is better to move forward. Melina offered a fast food for lunch, all while landing at the park to enjoy the fresh air before the hot days that will arrive. The whole small group moved the rest of the day to the park, chatting and telling old family anecdotes. Except Danny, of course. He had made a cross on his past with his "parents", it was not to talk about it now. He was free of it now. As the last light of day disappeared to make way for the night sky, Melina took Danny and you back to your building.  
She greeted you both with a wink not to go crazy, to which Danny answered calmly but with a smile not to worry about it. Then both enter the building laughing when they see Mattew's reaction. As you both arrived at your apartment, a noise was heard from inside. After a brief exchange of gaze, Danny took the keys to your apartment from your hands and opened the door cautiously. Lighting the light of the living room, he did not notice anything strange, for the moment.
“We must have been dreaming... Or maybe it came from your home?” you said looking at Danny.
“No. I checked three times before I left. It's all closed. The noise comes from here.” responds Danny before hearing another noise from the kitchen.  
Danny walked quietly to the kitchen, taking something to defend himself. If there’s a thief and he's armed, he's going to spend a bad time too. Arriving in the room, he suddenly turned on the light and raised his arm ready to strike before stopping cleanly in front of the source of all the noise. And this thing emits a very different sound this time.... a meow to be more precise.
“I think we have a little thief in your kitchen.” he said, laying the object he was holding before taking the frightened kitten in his arms.
“Haaawn, poor little guy... How did you get home?” you answer looking at the kitten.  
“Hum... It's a girl. And given the room I would say she came through your window. And visibly she enjoys your cakes. You've got two that's gone.”
“Oh... I had left the window open to let them cool and to prevent the apartment from smelling like bananas... But hey the main thing is that you ate well. You don't look like you have a necklace... I think I'm going to keep you!” you replied caressing the kitten who began to purr.
“You're going to have to plan on feeding her and a basket to sleep in... as well as a litter box, a cat tree... I think there's a pet store in Zanesville that owns it all for a cheap. And then she's going to need a name." responds Danny giving you the kitten.
“I'll see all that tomorrow. With a rested head. In the meantime, I'm going to set up a little corner for you in front of my bed. That way you won't be alone. It's convenient to keep old plaids. They're going to be able to re-serve again.”  
“In that case, I'm going to let you take care of that kitten. I still have a lot of work to do. Maybe tomorrow we'll see each other? If the boss doesn't make us run in the direction.”
You nod before kissing Danny, who kisses you back. Then he left your apartment to go back to his, locking the door. He sighed; it feels good to be at home. Not that he didn't enjoy the day, but since he knew about this guy at the restaurant, he had only one desire: to find him and massacre him. He went to his office to pick up his things. He took the opportunity to look at his hunting board. You can count yourself happy, Hoggins, to have gained extra life time because of the incompetence of the Roseville police officers... For once, and even if it hurt him to admit it, he felt sorry for Inspector Wilhelm. It's not easy to stay calm when you're the only 'smart' person in the whole police station.
He took his bag, and walked out of the building without making any noise. He got in his van and hit the road to the restaurant where you were last night. He parked a little further so as not to be noticed. When that bastard quits his job, Danny will follow him quietly home. It will do as usual, observe, note, analyse. And he'll do it again and again. Until the day it's time for him to meet Ghostface. And that night...
The massacre will begin.
Let’s the countdown begin.  
***
(My little finger says to me that you are 52 people whose following me! From the deepest part of my potato heart, I wanna say thank you to all of you! I never imagine to get so far and please so many people! I hope you will continue to be as numerous or even more numerous!  I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)
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Note
This time can you do a very romantic just Jeremy Gilbert request I’m really sorry if I keep bothering you or annoying you I really love how you write in the style I am how do you put it all together it’s amazing but if you’re tired of me I completely understand
Oh no it’s fine I gottcha! Here it is! 🖤
Warnings: smoking weed, talks of drugs, drinking? Idk what else.
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Y/n smiled as she woke up to a drooling Jeremy. She was wrapped in the arms of her boyfriend who was going to sleep the day away. Y/n tried to get up without waking him, but the two were tangled up together.
She continues to carefully struggle, but she just didn’t have the heart to wake Jeremy up.
“I know your awake I can hear your heart beating faster.” She looked at Jeremy who seemed to be half awake and half asleep.
“I forget my girlfriends a vampire sometimes.” He said as he pulled her impossibly closer to her.
“Jeremy please let go. I have stuff I need to go do today.”
“What’s more important then staying in bed all day?” He asked as he stared into her Y/e/c eyes.
“Maybe helping my brothers before they get themselves killed. If I don’t get up and ready they’ll leave without me.”
“She’s right.” Damon said all of a sudden inside the room making the two jump.
“Damon, what the hell?!” Y/n yelled as she threw a pillow at her older brother.
“Y/n you need to get ready we leave in 5 minutes. So chop chop. Little Gilbert let my sister go before I snap your neck.” Y/n rolled her eyes at her brother as she vamp sped to him. Grabbing the coller of his black shirt and running him out of the room. Locking the door behind her as she shut the door.
“I mean it five minutes, no fonduing!” Damon called from the other side of the door. Y/n rolled her eyes at her brother as she walked back over to the bed. Getting back onto the bed she leaned over to Jeremy giving him a passionate kiss. He tries to takeover the kiss but she wouldn’t allow it. As soon as he tried to make the kiss deeper.
“I love you, but I gotta go.” She smiled kissing him one more time then getting up. Walking over to the closet of her room and grabbing clothes to get dressed.
She came back out of the closet wearing a gray v-neck t-shirt, blue jean shorts and black converse tennie shoes.
“How is it you can dress as casual as can be and still look so freaking beautiful?” Jeremy asked as he stood up from the bed walking over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Giving her a tight hug, secretly trying to keep her home for the day.
“I know what your doing.” Y/n spoke as she felt Jeremy kiss the space between her neck and shoulder. “And what is that?” He hummed as he continues kissing up her neck.
“You are distracting me so I’ll have to stay home. It’s not gonna work, Jeremy.” She said as she pulled away from him with a smile. Walking over to her dressed she grabbed her hair brush. Brushing through her hair. Then after she was done twisting it into a braid.
Then walking over towards the bathroom to brush her teeth.
She could hear Jeremy groaning. Telling her she should stay with him for the day.
“It’s only 9:34 I should be Home by 12.” Jeremy looked at Y/n and tried to give her puppy dog eyes.
“Fine, but you are mine tonight. I have a special night tonight.” Y/n nodded at a serious Jeremy Gilbert.
“Alright tonight I’m all yours, I promise.” Jermey nodded as he gave her a kiss letting her go with a soft smile.
Y/n grabbed phone off charge and left the room. A minute later she left with her two brothers.
“Alright we have a couple hours to get the place decorated for Y/ns birthday so let’s get started!” Caroline exclaimed as she looked at her friends in front of her.
Stefan and Damon were distracting Y/n while Elena, Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie, Matt and Tyler worked on everything for the party.
“Tyler, Matt you guys are on food and drink duty.”
“Elena, Jeremy you guys are with me working on decorating the boarding house.” Elena and Jeremy nodded.
“Bonnie you are to find a cake for y/n and help us decorate the house.” Everyone understand what they should be doing?” Caroline I asked her friends with a smile on her face. They all nodded and Caroline clapped her hands together. Making them jump at the loud clap. “Alright then let’s get started.”
Hours went by as Y/n sat in the back seat of Damon’s Camaro. She was told they were going to a meeting with Elijah at the Mikaelson mansion. But when they had been driving for a little more then what they should’ve been she was confused.
“Where are we going?” Y/n finally asked her two older brothers.
“We are doing something for your birthday. This year is the first year we three are together for your birthday. So I decided that we would do something we haven’t done for a very long time.” Y/n looked over at Stefan confused. But was about to ask questions when they pulled into a familiar dirt road.
“Are we where I think we are?” She asked as she looked at the Woods around them and then the rumble of what used to be their home.
“Welcome home y/n.” Damon said as he put the blue camaro in parked.
Stepping out y/n looked at the house and smiled.
“There’s so many memories here.” Y/n spoke softly as she looked at the property in front of her.
“We figured since its been so long since we’ve been together for your birthday we would go back down memory lane.” Damon said as he pulled at a foot ball from the trunk of the car.
“Are you for real?” Y/n asked as she looked at her two brothers.
“Umm. Yeah.” Damon said as he threw the ball to Y/n.
The whole time Y/n had a great time with her brothers. Playing football together playing tag and playing hide-in-seek.
“I don’t understand how you hide so good still. It’s been like 200 years and we still can’t ever find you.” Stefan told his younger sister as they got into the car.
“Well, I guess I’m just that good.” Y/n said with a smile laughing at her brother who seemed confused at how he couldn’t find his sister.
“Alright, lets get back to the house. We’re going to be late.” Damon said as he got into the car.
“Late for what?” Y/n asked as she looked at her older brother.
“Huh? Oh I was just saying how I didn’t want to be here so late. You know with spirits running around here.” Damon made you randomly. Y/n squinted her eyes at her brother and sighed. Mumbling a dragged out, “okay.”
The three got out of the car and walked up the side walk to the door. Opening the door Y/n heard a shush and then a snickering.
She walked further into the house and seen her friends and other people jump up, “happy birthday!!” They all exclaimed. Y/n looked at her friends with a smile on her face. Music started playing for background sound and y/n looked at her brothers behind her.
“You guys were distracting me so they could do all this.” Y/n said looking at her two brothers.
“You guys are the best.” Y/n said looking at her brothers and then her friends.
“Well, lets get this party started!” Caroline exclaimed pulling y/n to the crowd of people who were already dancing to the music. Y/n was dancing beside Caroline, Bonnie and Elena. The four girls having them time of their lives.
“Here you go!” Jeremy called over the music handing Y/n a red solo cup of beer from the keg.
“Thank you, baby!” Y/n called over the music. Hugging him and then placing a kiss on his cheek. She took a couple sips of the cool beer and started dancing with Jeremy.
After a while of dancing and drinking Y/n was pulled away with Jeremy to another room where she noticed a few stoned teenagers were smoking.
“Are you kidding me?” Y/n laughed at Matt who was smoking a blunt in his hand.
“What? You wanna hit?” Y/n giggled as she took the blunt.
Y/n laughed at something Matt said when Alaric walked in.
“Y/n I thought you were the good influence.” Alaric told y/n as she handed the blunt to Jeremy.
“Sometimes you just gotta let loose some.” Y/n laughed right before taking a swig of her beer.
“I’m all out I’ll be right back.” Y/n leaned over kissing Jeremy then left the room to get a drink. The three stayed quiet until Y/n left the room completely.
“Do you have the ring?” Jeremy asked Alaric who had been out all day getting the ring Jeremy had bought for Y/n.
Alaric nodded reaching into his pocket getting the promise ring Jeremy had asked Alaric to get.
“Here it is. It’s a really nice ring. I thought it was an engagement ring at first.” Matt nodded as he leaned over to get a clear look of the silver banned ring with a small blue stone in the middle.
“What kind of stone is that?” Matt asked pointing to the blue shining stone.
“lapis lazuli gemstone. It’s the same stone that’s in their daylight rings. I thought I would make the ring special by putting a daylight stone inside of it. I even got Bonnie to activate it.”
“Got Bonnie to activate what?” Y/n asked as she came back into the room. A solo cup in hand along with a jack daniels bottle in hand. Jeremy jumped quickly putting the ring into his pocket.
“Oh I had to get Bonnie to activate my phone. You know me, not that tech savvy.” Alaric came up quickly as he gave Y/n a smile. Matt and Jeremy nodded agreeing that’s what they were talking about.
“Okay, well I stole a bottle of whiskey so we don’t have to drink any of that cheap beer. No offense Matt.” Matt shrugged and smiled.
“Alright, well Matt and I are gonna go in here and see if we can find the others.” Matt looked at Alaric confused, but Alaric gave Matt a glare which made him nod. “Yeah, Caroline owes me a drink anyway.”
Y/n watched as Alaric and Matt left leaving the two in the room alone.
“What was that all about?” She asked looking at Jeremy confused.
“Who knows, I think they’re a little too drunk.”
Y/n nodded as she looked into Jeremys brown eyes smiling.
“Thank you for everything. I’ve never had a birthday party.” Y/n thanked him leaning on her tip toes to kiss him.
“You’ve lived for over 100 years and never had a birthday party before?” Jermey asked as he laced his fingers with hers.
She nodded looking him.
“Yeah, I’ve never had one. I mean I was told happy birthday by my brothers and mom, but never had a party.”
“Well I guess we need to have this party even more memorable.” Jeremy said as he grabbed the ring out of his pocket.
“Baby, we’ve been together for three years. I’ve never been more in love with anyone that I have for you. I got you a promise ring,” he started pulling out the ring and showing it to Y/n. Y/n smiled as she looked up at Jeremy.
“This ring is a promise to you from me. A promise to be there for you whenever you need it. A shoulder for you to lean on in the time of need. To love you and to hold you at night. This promise ring is a symbol of my love to you. To show you my love. It's a promise to be faithful and love someone. Will you accept my promise?” Y/n was in tears, she had never had someone tell her they were so in love with her. It made her heart burst with love. She nodded with a teary smile.
“Of course I will!” She smiled as she slipped the ring in her ring finger.
“Now in a couple years you’ll be trading that for an engagement ring.” Damon spoke up as he walked into the room following close behind him were the rest of the gang.
“You guys knew about this?” Y/n asked as Jeremy wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Uh, yeah. Kinda the reason why we made you stay out all day.” Elena laughed at Caroline who was being so blunt.
“Well, thank you! This is the beat birthday ever. I couldn’t think of a better birthday.” Y/n smiled as she leaned her head against Jeremys shoulder.
“I love y’all.” Y/n said looking at her friends. Caroline smiled as she clapped her hands together. “Group hug!” She said forcing everyone to hug.
Yup definitely one of the best birthdays ever.
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flourchildwrites · 3 years ago
Text
Six years after their escape to the human world, the Grace Field children live together in a happy, harmonious home. Twenty-one-year-olds, Ray, Norman and Emma, have folded themselves into modern society and work tirelessly to provide for their younger siblings, putting the greater good of their family before their personal needs. But as children turn to into teenagers, new house rules come into play. Norman, convinced that Emma will never remember their unique childhood bond, makes a bold proposition — to prohibit romantic relationships between the Grace Field children and end his hopes for something more with Emma once and for all.
Ray knows all too well how dangerous it is to reignite a spark, but for the happiness of Emma and Norman, he's always been willing to burn.
Fandom: Yakusoku no Neverland | The Promised Neverland (Manga)
Relationships/Pairings: Emma/Norman (Endgame), Emma/Ray (Fake Dating), Norman & Ray, Emma & Ray
Genre: Post-Canon (Spoilers for Anime-Only Fans), Fake/Pretend Relationship
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 12,930 words (incomplete 3/5)
A/N: Oh, hi! So it's been a while, but I have neither dropped off the face of the Earth nor given up on this fic. Sometimes, I just have to wait until I'm in the right state of mind to write a chapter. Until next time....
Chapter 3
The cuckoo clock on the wall of Norman’s study is an ornate piece of artistry.  It does its job fashionably and without complaint, keeping time with as much precision as its pendulum can muster.  Norman likes to lose himself to the details of the carved wood.  The dancing animals and crisp steeples that surround the clock face never fail to interest him when his thoughts turn sluggish at the end of the day.
Norman would happily wile away his evening hours waiting for the clock’s melodic chime to sound at the top of the hour, but this is not the gift’s purpose. Instead, it is meant as a constant reminder that time itself is a precious commodity.  Mike Ratri gave him the clock upon his admission to law school.  And though Norman’s enthusiasm for the present has dissipated, he cannot disagree with the principle behind the clock’s coded message.
Time can be a beautiful, but unforgiving mistress; yesterday’s opportunities are lost in the past, gone forever.
Perhaps, Norman muses, for his next graduation, he will receive a high-end watch from the Ratri clan.  Then he, along with his time, will be literally and figuratively shackled to the course the family’s scion has mapped out for him.  Norman knows he is regarded as the best of the bunch, the poster child amongst the extraordinary children born and raised in the demon world.  Ever rational, he cannot disagree with that conclusion.
Still, he rakes a finger under the collar cinched around his neck to loosen his tie and fusses with the first few buttons of his pressed shirt.  The emblem of Lambda 7214 peeks out from underneath the scoop neck of his undershirt, and not for the first time, Norman traces the tattoo’s hard lines where they are exposed.  Compared to this marking, the numbers on his neck are practically forgettable.
Norman isn’t like the other Grace Field children, not since Peter Ratri’s malicious experiments.  Neither can he lump himself in with the other Lambda survivors.  Though Barbara never shies away from advocating for the latter.
“Are you even listening?”  Barbara’s voice is shrill as it comes from the cellphone wedged between Norman’s shoulder and ear.
In the background, he can hear boxing gloves rhythmically pound against a punching bag.  Norman doesn’t like lying to Barbara; he knows what the woman is capable of when she’s feeling feisty.  But after hearing the juicy gossip from the younger children in his house, concerning a date between two certain someones, Norman’s mind refuses to focus on administrative matters.  Still, he tries to soldier on as if nothing is amiss.
“Of course,” Norman fibs.  “You’re concerned about the benefit, just like you are every year.  And every year, it turns out fine.  We get our funding; the Ratri family keeps their moral high ground.”
The sound of hard punch startles Norman, and Barbara pauses, slightly winded, before responding.  “But the problem is that they want Zazie to attend this year.  Zazie!”
The thought causes Norman to pause.  He is wont to recall Zazie as he once was — a child stuck in an overgrown body with a paper bag hiding his face and twin swords strapped to his back.  But Zazie, like his brothers and sisters, has grown into his shaggy hair, and in his case, his mental strides are much more impressive.
“What does Zazie think about attending the benefit?”
Barbara scoffs.  “He’s fine with going for a little while as long as he isn’t on his own, but why should he waste his precious words on that family ?  They don’t fund his therapy out of charity; they pay for it because his hardships, all our hardships, are their fault.”
Normally, Norman would play devil’s advocate.  He would remind Barbara that Mike isn’t like Peter and point out that most of the advances made on behalf of the cattle, Lambda and farm children are funded by the donations of the benefit’s attendees.  But tonight, Norman has no such fight in him.  He has four cases to read and brief, an argument to draft for his legal writing class and a Ray-and-Emma-shaped problem that seems to become more bizarre by the minute.
“I’ll talk to Mike and see if we can defer Zazie’s involvement,” Norman capitulates, rubbing at his neck as his to-do list grows longer.  “He may look like an adult, but he’s still a teenager.  It can be easy to forget.”
There’s a pregnant pause on the other side of Norman’s cell phone connection.
“Are you feeling alright, boss?”
A part of Norman wants to laugh, a great big belly laugh that would draw the kind of attention the household head does his best to avoid.  Of course, he isn’t alright.  It was a relief when he first made the decision to impose a fraternization ban, but then, Ray went and asked Emma out just to spite him.
Clever, impulsive asshole.
How could Norman go through with it after that?  Either he would have seemed like a heartless roadblock or a jealous cockblock to his siblings.  And neither alternative comes close to the truth, an inconvenient conundrum that’s been eating away at him for years.
Norman exhales, long and slow, and because he can ordinarily be (somewhat) honest with Barbara, he doesn’t lie to her this time.  He won’t divulge the whole, messy truth.  For that, he wouldn’t even know how to begin.  Heavy the head that wears the crown, or in this case, Norman thinks it’s more along the lines of a cape.
“No,” he responds, “I’m not alright.  But I’m sure I’ll be fine after exams.  I just need some time to rest and get my head on straight.  No need to be concerned.”
There’s a flurry of movement coming from Barbara’s side of the connection, and when she speaks again, her voice sounds unflinchingly clear. Norman braces himself when he realizes she’s paused her evening workout and taken herself off speakerphone.
“Far be it for me to suggest that you shouldn’t be living with the Grace Field kids, but you’re also one of us — a Lambda experiment.  We have different needs, and Lambda House could provide you with much more support or at least a break from being in charge.  Come live with us and let someone else run things over there.  We all miss you, boss.  Maybe someone could help you for a change.”
A lump sticks in Norman’s throat, and he swallows it, ready to make excuses that never arrive.  Words fail him for the umpteenth time in a handful of days.  Suddenly hot, he scratches the back of his neck and shrugs off his collared shirt entirely.  The top of his Lambda 7214 tattoo remains on full display.  Sometimes, he hides it so well that he begins to believe his own lies, but there are moments when the truth corrodes his carefully constructed facade.
Norman may be the brightest child from the demon world, but he’s also damaged goods, marked in ways that Ray (for example) is not.
He could live at Lambda House.  Correction, he should live at Lambda House to better avail himself of the on-call therapists for his night terrors and have his medication managed with more regularity.  But then, there would be no reason for Norman to oversee the Grace Field children’s home.  He wouldn’t be able to drag himself down to breakfast each morning to find her, Emma, sipping her coffee and joking around with the younger children, or feel his heart flutter when wishes him well in the evenings.
Norman stays because she’s worth all the small inconveniences and then some.  The time in between, the numbing hours spent studying, problem-solving and balancing the books, are a means to an end.  Emma always tips the scale in Grace Field’s favor.  Even with an anti-fraternization rule, Norman doesn’t expect his feelings to change.
Nevertheless….
“I’ll think about it,” Norman hears himself say, and he ends the call promptly with promises to be in touch soon simply to put the matter to rest.
Read the rest on AO3!
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