#i will literally leave again if gero comes back

[tenshindon]

if i think about tien fretting over chiaotzu and yamcha’s safety one more time i think i might explode so For Once i’m writing out my thoughts in the main part of the post :)))) under the cut of course :))))))

We all know that Tien’s concerned over Chiaotzu’s well-being all the time, like that’s a defining part of their relationship. Even when they’re already dead Tien’s still horrified at the prospect of Chiaotzu dying during their spar with Piccolo. However it isn’t until Resurrection F that we’re given a notice that Tien’s concerned over Yamcha as well. Whether this was a development exclusive to Super or it’s just been a background thing that’s only now manifesting in the subtlest of ways, we will never know <3 Either that or my memory of Everything Ever is very hazy <3 however I will talk about it anyways because my brain is decaying as we speak because holy shit 

Like through Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, we repeatedly see Yamcha extending his heart out to Tien: Yamcha repeatedly pleading with Tien to reconsider learning the mafuba, Yamcha granting Tien reassurance before he goes off to fight Tao and subsequently understanding Tien needs time alone after the fight, Yamcha wishing to stay with Tien and Chiaotzu in the afterlife, and so on. From these instances alone, we know that Yamcha is certainly more open about his affection and care towards his friends (which is a whole post I can make on its own, Yamcha’s incredibly emotionally intelligent and it’s so good).

However this type of care isn’t exactly reciprocated towards Yamcha- or not as obviously, anyways. Which isn’t all too surprising; pardon Chiaotzu and especially by Z, Tien’s very reserved and generally just keeps to himself and Chiaotzu. 

However, as aforementioned, Tien remarks that he left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind away from the fight. It’s a rather innocuous line when you think of it: on the surface, Tien’s just clarifying- well, he just left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind because he feels it’s too dangerous for them. But then you have to ask the question: since when did Tien have authority over what Yamcha did? And why was Yamcha so willing to listen? Was Yamcha just not clued in on what was happening and Tien figured he wouldn’t tell him? 

Chiaotzu is understandable; despite Chiaotzu being just five years younger than Tien and thus being in his early 40′s by Super, Tien still treats him like a younger brother and as his guardian. So when he so casually adds Yamcha to this- to just so naturally say “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. The danger seems too much for them,” it just really makes you think a bit. Because Tien made a conscious decision to leave Yamcha behind for his well-being.

In this instance Tien is putting Yamcha on the same- or at least similar level as Chiaotzu, someone we’re all very well aware that he would literally kill someone for, even if that someone is himself. The meta explanation for this could very well just be Toei didn’t want to bother giving Yamcha and Chiaotzu anything to do during the movie, and since they were already perceived as the weakest among the cast it was much easier to leave them out of it entirely (though that’s a rant for another day). The issue that arises however is that Toei accidentally (or maybe intentionally) adds a layer to Tien and Yamcha’s relationship, or at least shows us that Tien does care about Yamcha’s safety and shows some type of growth to Tien. As I talked about before, Tien is reserved and doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve- so for an action like this to occur on his part, it demonstrates a great leap in his development as a person and opening up.

And the thing about this is that it’s not entirely out of Tien’s character to leave people behind to protect them- it’s completely in character, in a way. During the Saiyan Saga, Tien initially attempts to dissuade Chiaotzu from attending the Saiyan fight, forming a similar excuse as that it would be too dangerous for him. With an instance like this, it shows us that if Tien isn’t confident he can protect Chiaotzu on the battlefield, the most he can do is make sure he’s at home and assuredly safe. He does this again during the Cell Saga by leaving Chiaotzu at Roshi’s abode, once again asserting that it would be too dangerous for Chiaotzu.

During Z Tien doesn’t show this type of concern towards Yamcha, which isn’t wrong or even irrational. Amidst Z, Yamcha was more than capable of taking care of himself and looking after his own back; Tien didn’t reason it would make sense for him to look after him. Not only that, but Tien and Chiaotzu’s relationship is just seemingly more natural to him: he’s known Chiaotzu since he was a child, it makes sense for his care to be more open and at the ready. Tien knows Chiaotzu and his boundaries, and vice versa.

The important thing about Tien though, as I already mentioned right- he’s reserved. Coupled with the fact he was raised by Shen and Tao of all people, it’s probably hard for him to make deep connections with people, let alone traditionally express care. That’s why Chiaotzu is such an anchor for him: he’s really all he has at the end of the day, if not himself. And he’s already demonstrated he’d rather die than live without his brother.

Shifting to Yamcha, it’s... a topic that really should be touched on more. When Yamcha dies during the Saiyan Saga, the anime offers a particular reaction shot on Tien. It’s not much all things considered, but it does allow the viewer to be able to identify that Yamcha’s death had somewhat of a significant impact on Tien specifically, as he’s the only one with an isolated reaction shot (which is especially telling considering Krillin was friends with Yamcha longer and logically would be more devastated and more deserving of a singular shot. He gets this, however by actually checking on Yamcha’s body but I could touch on that whole topic another time). Later on in the Cell saga, Tien is subjected to watching Yamcha die (or be on the precipice of dying) again via Dr. Gero; Tien is the first of the Z Fighters to show up to the scene, thus giving us another Tien-specific reaction shot.

Obviously, Tien’s reactions to Yamcha and Chiaotzu differ severely; we’ve already gone over why Chiaotzu has a greater bond to Tien, and despite the friendship Yamcha and Tien have been able to build over the years it would be near impossible for Yamcha to ever be totally on the same level as Chiaotzu. But at the very least and looking at the Resurrection F dialogue, Yamcha’s deadly experiences have had a lasting impact on Tien.

It wouldn’t be improbable to assume Tien suffered from guilt from Chiaotzu dying during the Saiyan Saga- he even warned Chiaotzu about coming along, so being helpless to protect his brother as he watched him be bashed before he ultimately kills himself could have been certainly traumatizing. Chiaotzu’s death in the Saiyan Saga, in my opinion, is more devastating than his King Piccolo death.

Against King Piccolo Chiaotzu was killed swiftly, and he was at least able to leave a body behind. Of course, there definitely comes feelings of guilt at the fact Tien was the one who instructed Chiaotzu to get into danger in the first place- which is probably why he’s more open to the idea of letting Chiaotzu sit a fight out in the future. During the Saiyan Saga, Chiaotzu is thrashed over and over again and rammed against mountains while Tien is found in a similar position of being physically incapable of protecting him. The whole display definitely lasts much longer than the King Piccolo incident, and it’s far more agonizing as Chiaotzu telepathically communicates with Tien during this. All for it to culminate in Chiaotzu uselessly sacrificing himself, Tien even hallucinating Chiaotzu amidst delirium.

Tien best shows his care through action and protecting those he loves- he’s just incapable of verbally saying he cares and thus best does it through service. For Tien to implicitly order Yamcha to stay away from the fight with Chiaotzu, it shows us that he harbors similar feelings of fear, guilt, and care that he does towards Chiaotzu towards Yamcha as well. Tien does his best to keep Chiaotzu away from fights because he’s afraid of losing him again because he wasn’t strong enough to protect him- it’s a fair-enough bet to wager this fear extends towards losing Yamcha as well.

Which not only makes Tien’s underwhelming reaction to Earth blowing up so fuckinnnn aggravating like oh my god like fucking he actually kept his loved ones behind and they still died can you imagine the fuckin turmoil and angst jesus christ im going insane Also this is why I needed a fucking scene of these three knuckleheads talking about chiaotzu and yamcha staying behind like toei im begging you throw me a bone LMAOOOO

[deadlybeautydbz]

Last First Date

Neeeeew story time my friends! I had originally planned to have this finished for Valentines Day, but that didn't happen. It’s here now though, so I hope you enjoy!

As always, likes, reblogs and comments are apricated, as are reviews and followes over on FFN when this is uploaded there. If you would like to suggest a prompt for me or chat about anything K18, DBZ or anything else, my ask box is always open.

I hope you like this one, I really enjoyed writing it.

Story under the cut.

Last First Date

The thing with 18 was, that it was complicated. Or maybe it wasn’t and Krillin was just doing the same stupid thing he always did, where he made his life way more difficult that it needed to be.

It wasn’t that he was completely inept when it came to ladies. He’d had girlfriends in the past, and more recently even a couple of short summer flings. And growing up around Bulma and Launch – especially when she was a blonde – had taught Krillin how to recognise a sign when he saw one.

And that was the thing. He was sure there were signs. 18 did indeed seem interested. Their banter was playful and free flowing, and all too often seemed to tip over into flirtatious territory. They were comfortable around each other and 18 would often seek Krillin out while he was doing chores around the island, keeping him company while he worked on whatever mundane task he was doing to keep their tiny pink home in tip-top shape.

Then there was the time that she had fallen asleep against him while they watched some awful movie together on the couch one night. From the second her head hit his shoulder, Krillin couldn’t have recounted a single thing that happened on the screen. All he was focused on was the pressure of 18’s head resting on his shoulder and the warmth of her breath against his bicep. Even when his arm started to tingle and eventually went totally numb, he dared not move and risk waking his sleeping beauty from her slumber. And when she eventually did wake that night, there had not been an ounce of awkwardness between them over the intimate moment they had just shared. 18’s eyes had simply fluttered open, she’d asked what she’d missed in the movie, and she’d continued to watch, never moving from her resting place against Krillin.

Oh how he’d wanted to pull one of those dorky teenage fake-yawns that night, and put his arm around her. It was all he’d thought about for the rest of the movie, and every second of every day for the next week, but he’d never worked up the courage and eventually 18 had taken herself to bed.

The point was though, given what he knew, he didn’t think his chances with 18 were totally zero.

But what if he was wrong?

Krillin liked 18. Like, he reeeeally liked her. Like, if it was a choice between having her in his life as a friend, or confess his feelings and risk scaring her off for good, he would pick friendship, because at least that way he got to see her every day.

Unless of course, she decided to move off the island because she thought there was nothing for her here. To the city or something. And she made friends with people who weren’t short, bald, losers. And one of her new tall, handsome model friends asked her out. And she got married and had babies and never thought of Krillin again. He’d get to see her everyday unless all of that happened.

Fuck.

If that happened, if 18 left – and Krillin knew that eventually she would if nothing changed, and he’d never mustered up the courage to tell her the truth, he’d hate himself forever.

 “Hey, stranger.” A voice, 18’s voice, dragged Krillin from his melancholy thoughts. “Whatcha doing?”

“Oh, nothing,” Krillin responded.

“Really?” 18 seemed sceptical. She motioned toward the paintbrush that Krillin was holding in his hand, and the little puddle of paint that was dripping off it and onto the roof where he was standing. “Looks to me like you’re making a mess.”

“Huh? Oh shit,” Krillin followed 18’s eyes down to the roof and he winced. Prior to getting so distracted by his thoughts, Krillin had been repainting the window shutters on the upstairs rooms of Kame House. Roshi was very proud of his little island home and took pride in keeping it looking ship-shape. He would not be happy if he saw this. Quickly, Krillin whipped off his shirt and started trying to wipe up the blob of paint. But it was no use, it was about five hundred thousand degrees out under the hot midday sun, and even hotter than that up on the roof, and the paint had already started to set. All Krillin did was manage to smear the sticky, half dry paint across the red tiles, making the situation even worse. “Shit,” he muttered again.

“Hmmm.” Krillin noticed a certain tone in 18’s voice and looked up from smudging paint everywhere to eyeball her. 18’s hands were stuffed deep into the pockets of her shorts and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Are you enjoying this?” He asked. “Roshi will kick my ass over this you know? And don’t think he won’t notice because he’s a thousand years old. He notices everything!”

“No, I’m not enjoying this.” 18 replied, and shrugged her shoulders. She was totally enjoying this. She loved when Krillin got all riled up. He was cute when he got flustered. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah right. Just help me clean this up, would you?”

“Are you trying to get me to take my shirt off? That’s very forward of you, Krillin.”

“What?! No!” A blush raced up Krillin’s cheeks. “You know that’s not what I meant! Under the sink in the laundry there’s a bottle of turpentine and some old rags. Can you please get them for me?”

“Okie dokey” 18 nodded and climbed leisurely back through the window she had appeared from, leaving Krillin to deal with the rapidly worsening situation. “Here you go,” she said when she returned a minute later, holding the requisite cleaning supplies, and tossed them to Krillin.

“Thanks, 18.” He quickly doused the rag in the strong chemicals and prayed as he wiped it over the paint that it would work. Success! The paint lifted and Krillin let out a sigh of relief. “Hallelujah,” he said, and readjusted himself so he could sit down on the roof. “Thanks for your help, 18. I owe you one.”

18 sat herself down beside Krillin and shrugged her shoulders. “Hardly.” she scoffed. This was a man who had literally saved her life, not once, but three times, without expecting anything in return. He’d stomped on that godforsaken remote control on what was the worst day of her entire life, he’d cared for her after she’d been inexplicably regurgitated by a monster, and then he’d gone and tried to use a magical dragon wish to return her to her human form, without ever expecting to see her again. The least she could do in return was run down a flight of stairs for him. In fact. “Let me cook dinner for you tonight.” the words had blurted out of 18’s mouth before she’d really even considered them. She didn’t know the first thing about cooking. “Unless you have other plans, of course.”

“Other plans?” Krillin laughed. “Have you ever known me to have other plans?” He wasn’t sure where 18’s offer had sprung from, but he would have cancelled dinner with the Queen of England if an opportunity to spend time with 18 presented itself instead. “Dinner sounds perfect.”

---

Several hours later and 18 was regretting her stupid ideas and big mouth. Cooking?! She didn’t know the first thing about cooking. Surprisingly, the main chef in this small, dysfunctional home, was Oolong – it was just about the only thing the perverted little pig was good for. He would cook for himself and Roshi each day and usually leave enough extra for Krillin and 18 to help themselves too when they were feeling hungry. His dishes were simple but delicious and today, after scouring through every piece of information in her databases, and coming up with absolutely nothing about cooking – thanks Gero – 18 had to swallow her pride and take a leaf out of Oolongs book. He usually cooked a modest combination of vegetables or soup with rice, and so 18 was attempting the same.

Vegetables and rice. How hard could that possibly be?

Surprisingly hard, it turned out. 18 almost threw a spoon at Krillin’s face when he popped his head into the kitchen to see how things were progressing.

“Everything’s fine, Krillin! What, do you think I can’t cook or something?!” she demanded, while whipping around the kitchen in a disorganised frenzy.

“No, no, that’s not it at all!” Krillin threw his hands up to cover his head from any more projectiles that 18 might hurl his way in her frustration. He noticed the piles and piles of dirty pots and pans that were stacking up by the sink and what looked like smoke billowing out from the oven, but very wisely chose to keep his mouth closed on what was clearly a sensitive subject. “I just came to see if you’d like me to set the table or if you’d prefer to eat on the beach?”

“Beach!” she snapped back, although instantly regretted her sharp tongue. “Krillin, stop!” she called, noting that Krillin had, rather wisely, already started to retreat from the tense air of the kitchen – not that she could blame him. Even she knew she was being feral. He turned back around, and the kind look in his eyes took just enough of the edge off of 18’s frustration for her to try again. “The beach would be nicer, I think.” She said. “Roshi is always hanging around in the lounge watching those disgusting exercise programs.”

Krillin beamed a bright and radiant smile. “Beach it is,” he winked and pointed a couple of dorky double finger-guns in 18’s direction. “I’ll be outside waiting whenever you’re ready. Please don’t rush though.”

It was a little over half an hour later when 18 trotted down onto the sand holding two bowls, which represented her hours of hard work and determination. She was most certainly content to let Oolong keep the title of Cooking Champion of Kame House, that was for sure, but for now, she was proud of what she had achieved.

“What’s this?” 18 asked, as she rounded the corner of the house, to where she knew Krillin would be waiting for her. This side of the beach was where they always sat because a) it was away from the prying eyes of certain stickybeaks in the living room, and b) it had the best view of the magical sunsets that the island was treated to each night.

Krillin, upon hearing 18’s voice jumped up from the sand and turned to face her. “Oh, this” he replied casually to the beautiful spread he had set up for them. A picnic blanket, cushions, a bottle of wine, “This is nothing. You went to so much effort to cook us a meal, I thought the least I could do was provide somewhere nice to eat it.”

“It’s lovely,” 18 handed Krillin his dinner and they both sat down on the blanket. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you!” Krillin poured two glasses of wine and handed one to 18. He was acutely aware of the fact that 18 had had the entire picnic blanket on which to sit, and yet she had chosen to sit right next to him. So close in fact that their knees were touching. ‘Focus, Krillin’ the ex-monk had to remind himself. “Cheers.” He held up his wine glass and clinked it against 18’s, before they both sipped from their glasses.

“So, how is it?” 18 couldn’t even wait for Krillin to swallow his first mouthful of food before she was seeking his approval. She had worked so hard on this meal, and she wanted Krillin to enjoy it. “I know it’s not much, but do you think I have potential?”

Oh, Krillin thought that 18 had potential alright.

“Absolutely,” he shovelled another forkful into his mouth, making sure to chew thoughtfully this time and savour the flavours before swallowing. “18, this is delicious. Where did you get the recipe?”

“Recipe? It’s rice and vegetables Krillin, don’t get to ahead of yourself here.”

“Honestly though, it’s delicious. What type of sauce did you use? I’m very impressed! I thought Oolong was the only one in this house with any cooking skills!”

“Well, I’m full of surprises.”

“I bet you are.” Maybe it was the wine going immediately to Krillin’s head, in the annoying way that wine always did for him, or maybe it was the romantic backdrop of the slowly setting sun – he wasn’t sure, but that last sentence had come out a lot more sensually that Krillin had intended and a blush raced straight up his cheeks. “Sorry, that uh… I didn’t mean that to sound so well… so creepy!” he laughed bashfully and he briefly considered getting up and drowning himself in the ocean.

Quickly, in a last ditch effort to prevent anymore unfiltered nonsense spewing from his lips, he stuffed his mouth full of food and committed to chewing each piece 100 times.

Beside him, 18 shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”

For a while, there was a content silence as the pair sat and ate their food, sipped their wine and watched the sky change from bright blue, through rich yellows and oranges to a deep, dusty pink as the sun sank towards the horizon.

18 remembered vividly the first Kame Island sunset that she had been witness to. A view like that; the most magnificent melting together of colours that she had ever seen, it had taken her breath away. 18 had been sure that it had been a once-in-a-lifetime display. There was no way something so captivating could ever be repeated. But there it was again the following night, igniting the sky with its glory, and again the night after that, and that was when 18 had begun to realise that there was something special about this place.

And it wasn’t just the glorious sunsets that made it so, or the fact that this house seemed to somehow magically exist in the middle of an ocean surround by nothing and yet still had power and running water. No it wasn’t any of that at all. It was the people who lived here. From the moment that Krillin had invited her, and 18 had stepped foot on the islands warm white sand, she had felt welcome.

Roshi and Oolong – disgusting perverted tendencies aside – had been nothing but hospitable when Krillin had humbly informed them that 18 would be making use of the spare bedroom for the time being. There had simply been nodding of heads and they turned back to the TV. No one here cared about her murky past, or that she was a capable of becoming a deadly killing machine if the mood struck her. It was nothing they hadn’t encountered before. 18 quickly learned that over the years, Kame House had been somewhat of a safe haven for the Z warriors, many of whom had started out an enemies, and its door were always open to those who needed it.

And then there was Krillin. He really was something else. He had a heart that was kinder than anything 18 had ever known. She felt at ease around him in a way she had never felt around anyone, not even her own brother. He had invited her to stay with them on the island without any expectations and with no strings attached. It was simply an offer of a warm bed and a roof over her head for as long as she needed. She never felt any pressure here to be anything more than she was.

It had been almost six months now, since her arrival, and 18 was noticing a change in herself. She wasn’t the cold hearted monster she had come here believing that she was. She had just been scared, confused and in full-blown self-preservation mode when she arrived. “Totally normal,” Krillin had said one day, when she’d mentioned her changing emotions. “So many of us, me included, came here as angry little shits, hell bent on making life difficult for everyone around us, and then something happened. This place has a way of bringing out peoples true selves. Like it knows who you were always meant to be.” They were words that 18 would never forget.

And as far as she was able to tell, it was true. Sitting here now with Krillin, sipping on her wine, listening to the waves gently breaking against the shore, she felt a world away from the person she had been six months ago. She felt like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, anew, and awash with opportunities and possibilities. For the first time, 18 was beginning to feel like her life was truly hers to take control of.

The sun had set now, and they world seemed to exist inside a glorious twilight bubble. 18 buried her bare toes into still warm sand and lay back so that she could rest on her elbows and stare up at the sky. “This is nice,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Mmm,” Krillin agreed absentmindedly. He was deep in his own mind too, having picked up his train of thought from earlier in the day. It had dawned on him that this was his moment. The moment. Maybe the only moment he would get, to let 18 know how he felt. He needed to clear the air, and his conscious, once and for all, no matter the consequences. He had to know that he had at least tried. “Do you like it here? On the island?” he asked.

“Of course.” 18 either didn’t hear, or was choosing to ignore the awkwardness in Krillin’s voice.

“And are you happy?”

This time, 18 sensed that there might be more to this than just a casual conversation. She sat up and shuffled herself around on the picnic blanket so that she could better face her companion. “I am happy. Krillin, what’s this about? Is this because I got frustrated at you in the kitchen ea-”

“No, no,” Krillin cut 18 off mid-sentence. “That’s ancient history. It’s just important to me, y’know. That you’re happy here.”

“I am. I’m content here.”

“Good. Because it’s important to me that you are. Happy, I mean.”

“You just said that. Krillin, are you alright?” 18 could see, even in the muted light of nightfall that Krillin was flustered. His cheeks were pink and his hands trembled. A closer, more technical inspection of his vital signs revealed that his pupils were dilated and his heart was racing.

“Because you know, if you’re not happy here, I hope that you wouldn’t feel obligated to stay.” Krillin continued on, totally ignoring 18’s growing concern.

“I don’t feel obligated to-” something dawned on 18. “Krillin. Are you asking me to leave the island?”

“NO!” Krillin snapped back with so much intensity that 18 jumped. “No, I’m most definitely not doing that.”

“Then what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m…” Krillin faltered. What was he doing exactly? “I’m making a mess of this is what I’m doing. I’m sorry 18.” Krillin knew there was no going back now, 18 wouldn’t let him just walk away from this train wreck of a conversation, so he was going to have to go all in. Which was going to require more wine. He topped up his glass and drained it in one smooth movement, and hoped that the liquid courage would give him the boost he needed to get this over the line. “Let me start again.”

“I think that would be a good idea.”

“Okay.” Before he continued, Krillin closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. “I don’t want you to leave 18, I’m sorry if it came across like that. What I actually want is the total opposite. What I want is for you to stay for a very, very long time. Maybe even for ever if you’d like.”

“Forever?” 18 asked, not exactly following along with this conversation.

“I like you, 18.” Krillin finally blurted it out, and that was the cue for the floodgates to open. “A lot. I like you a lot and I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. And I dunno, but I think maybe you like me to and maybe we could have something here. And I hope I’m not wrong, because the last thing I want in the entire world is to make our friendship weird because it means so much to me, just having you in my life at all. But I was worried that if I didn’t tell you and there was even a chance that you might feel the same, that you might think I wasn’t interested in pursuing this and then you would leave and I couldn’t let that happen so I just had to-”

“Krillin. Stop.” 18 placed her hand on Krillin’s forearm and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You’re rambling. Stop.” Her hand travelled down Krillin’s arm until it found his, and she let her fingers intertwine with his – and chose to ignore for now how clammy Krillin’s palms were. “You can relax okay. I like you to.”

“Really?”

A long sigh came from 18’s lips before she replied, and when Krillin finally worked up the courage to look at her, he could see that she was smiling. There was something about that small upward tick of her lips that soothed Krillin. It was clear that 18 wasn’t feeling uncomfortable about this strange turn of events. “Really.” She eventually said, and Krillin could hear just a hint of bashfulness in her voice. “So what happens now?”

“Now?” Krillin’s mind drew a blank. Honestly he hadn’t thought any further ahead than this exact moment. “You could let me take you on a date?”

18’s raised a cheeky eyebrow. “A date?” she mused. “Alright. A date. How does tomorrow sound?”

“Tomorrow?!” Krillin swallowed, “Are you sure that’s not too soon? I don’t want to rush this.”

18, it seemed, was much more pragmatic about the situation, and was keen to tackle it head on, and right away. “We’ve both agreed we’d like to pursue this. What’s the point in waiting?”

This was panning out better than Krillin could have ever hoped for, but he was still nervous. There was nothing in his life he had ever wanted to work out more than this, and he was weary of getting ahead of himself. It wasn’t like he was about to get down on one knee and propose, hell, he wasn’t even asking 18 to be his girlfriend right now. All he wanted was this one date, and he wanted it to be perfect. “Alright. Tomorrow then. I’ll pick you up at seven?”

The sound of 18 laughing filled the air, and in that moment, Krillin could have sworn he’d died and gone to heaven. Here he was, sitting out under the stars, holding hands with the woman whom he was pretty certain he was going to spend the rest of his life falling in love with and it couldn’t have been any more perfect if he’d tried. The emotional load that had been lifted from his shoulders was intense, and Krillin almost felt like he was going to cry – there was every chance that could have been the wine though. He never wanted this moment to end.

Desperately, Krillin was trying to think of the perfect thing to say next. Should he recite a poem? Sing a song? Do an interpretive dance? No, that last one was definitely a solid no. So caught up in his own head, as he so often was, Krillin failed to notice that beside him, 18 seeming to have her similar internal debate on how best to progress from here.

He blinked when he heard her say, “Ah, screw it.” There was barely a second to register the words before a firm hand yanked his head around and a pair of soft lips were pressed against his own. The kiss only lasted for a second or two and was over before Krillin had even realised that it began, but it was enough for the memory to be burned into his brain for the rest of his life.

18 had kissed him!

By the time he was able to process words and thoughts again, 18 was standing up and brushing sand from her legs. She looked down at him and smiled coyly. “See you tomorrow,” was all she said before disappearing up the beach and into the house, leaving Krillin to sit stunned in the sand.

 See you tomorrow indeed. Krillin needed to get busy, it was time for him to plan his last first date.

Hope you liked it!! Please let me know, I love to hear your thoughts, feedback and what you’d like to see from me in the future!

[aotopmha]

I really appreciate how Dragon Ball Super went back to being about Dragon Ball's original theme of self-improvement.

The original Dragon Ball series was about Goku's journey to becoming a master martial artist - about him above all learning patience and understanding of his limits and that no matter what, there will always be ways for him to improve.

These turning points happen in his fight against Jackie Chun and during his training with Kami, which are, in large part, rounded off during the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament, but are revisited at various points in the story in various guises.

Along the way he spurs his antagonists and friends alike to improve and grow stronger and better, as well.

I've talked about how most of the thematic substance in the story is very loosely connected and more arc specific, especially in the Z portion of the story and I think it all has to do with very little effort being put into connecting any of the ideas of the story to each other.

The theme of self-improvement is slowly buried behind all the other ideas the story decides to focus on and as time goes on, even contradicted.

It still works when Goku is revealed to be an alien because he is established to be a low class warrior of his race - the theme is simply related to him not being bound by his birth status and being able to grow beyond it through hard work. We also have Krillin, Tenshinhan, Gohan, Piccolo, Yamcha and Yajirobe stepping up against the Saiyans and showing their growth through that - as much as I dislike that Yamcha's and Tenshinhan's character arcs are never highlighted.

They are treated like generic nobodies, rather than long-time members of the cast. You could argue it's to show how terrifying the Saiyans/Nappa is, but you can do that while respecting their characters.

Despite this issue I have with how their characters are treated, I don't think any of it shakes the story thematically yet in the big picture.

However, this arc does also introduce the Saiyans and their special race traits and through that the story's habit of throwing many of the other characters aside. This is something the prevails across the whole story and into much of Super, too.

The Freeza saga is about becoming stronger and better than you already are in much more vague ways. Only Gohan's and Piccolo's continued character journeys and the idea of the Super Saiyan adhere to it and Gohan and Piccolo are pretty clearly side characters in it.

They do matter in terms of several plot points, but the story doesn't really zoom in on the idea of their growth specifically - the arc is more about identity and racism, however basic way they are covered.

The most significant thematic part of the Freeza arc to me is Goku's Super Saiyan speech as the acceptance of his Saiyan heritage. He is one and makes peace with it - having questioned it before he let Vegeta go (this actually is much better executed in the anime because of Goku initially straight-up denying his relation to the Saiyans).

Self-acceptance can be part of self-improvement because it grants inner peace, but the story doesn't really connect or explore the two ideas in any meaningful way. There is never any substantial struggle for Goku about controlling Super Saiyan, either, so it's all a very surface-level representation of the theme of self-improvement.

On the other hand, the Cell arc really does seem to go back to this theme and actually even connect it's arc specific theme to it.

The Cell Saga is about Gohan finally stepping up. Goku's ultimate sacrifice and Vegeta growing to care and helping to defeat Cell by the end kind of count, too - bringing long-term arcs to their ahead.

As much as I love Piccolo's remerging with Kami from a symbolic POV, his actual substantial growth happened in the Saiyan Saga and was done by Namek. I feel like his actual principles and character didn't change in signficant ways through the mergings with Kami and Nail (the plot importance laid in Piccolo having to grow stronger), but they still were expressions of his growth in the Saiyan saga.

Cell doesn't actually really start off by being about Gohan's, Vegeta's or Goku's arcs - the Cell portion actually feels kind of disconnected from the rest of the arc.

The initial theme of the arc is actually "you can choose your fate". This is expressed through the Androids' rebellion against Gero and the very premise of the arc - Trunks came back so the fate of everyone could be changed.

You can connect this theme to being related to the idea of self-improvement - after all, how our lives go should be of our own choosing, but at the same time, we can choose to be good or bad people when we have the choice. Gohan brings it up in the battle against Cell. Add to that, as poorly as I think it's handled, Cell is supposed to be the manifestation of all the negative traits of the characters.

So, seemingly the only problem with the Cell arc thematically is that it's theme is confined to a select few characters - for a series talking about how anyone can achieve anything by working hard and can always be better than their current selves, it sure takes the chance from a lot of the cast to do so.

The problem I have with the Cell arc is that while I think it works thematically in isolation, it doesn't in context of the bigger picture.

After Cell comes the Buu arc, which I think is an absolute thematic disaster and my biggest example of how DB lost it's direction.

I love the direction it goes in tonally because it's the closest to how Dragon Ball originally felt, but it's a complete mess otherwise.

Yes, we have Vegeta's redemption and him willing to work together with Goku and we have good Buu's arc with Mr. Satan, but we also have Goten and Trunks being introduced and never learning anything or amounting to anything and Gohan's arc not getting any follow-up - his newly discovered flaw of arrogance and how his power influences him is never substantially addressed or resolved in any way. We see it again when he gets his Ultimate Gohan power-up, but nothing is really done with it.

Add to that, the power-up is the most unearned one of the whole arc - Goku's SSJ3 transformation and Trunks and Goten getting SSJ are bad, too, but Gohan's is extra bad because he has setup behind him. They all grow stronger, but it's not tied to any character growth.

The fusion is introduced as a means to have the characters learn to fight together, but by the end it isn't that effective and thus doesn't work that well thematically.

Goku's sacrifice means nothing not because he comes back, but because him taking responsibility isn't treated like it's part of his arc and followed through on. It represents the self-improvement theme just fine in isolation, but it's not something that is consistent.

EoZ even straight-up trivializes Goku's journey by just having him leave everyone - he says he'll visit, but the issue here isn't in the established details, it's the thematic significance of it and the connotation it decides to leave the story off on. Along with growing stronger character and strength-wise, his whole journey was about finding his place in society, too - how everyone around him shapes him and is important to him.

Even if it actually isn't the intention to trivialize this theme, it *feels* like it's just sort of thrown away within the span of a few chapters/episodes - the last chapters of the story at that.

It leaves you asking what the point of following these hundreds of episodes/manga chapters was. Maybe it was Toriyama's way of being subversive by saying "it doesn't really matter what it means, it only matters that we had fun", which is unique and certainly a twist in terms of storytelling conventions, but it's really frustrating and feels like being contrarian to the story's themes just for the sake of being contrarian.

There really isn't a single thematic thread that isn't contradicted in the Buu saga at some point, but there is also no consistent theme at all. It's a confused mess.

So I appreciate how Super kind of refocuses itself thematically.

In BoG, Beerus is introduced as lazy and uncaring, but by the end of Super changes for the better and starts caring just a little bit.

Goku is also reintroduced to the old lesson that there is always someone stronger than him out there. I don't particularly count him putting his selfish wishes aside to save everyone as new because he basically always ends up doing that in most of his fights.

I have a bunch of problems with RoF.

Whis spells out the ways in which Goku and Vegeta could improve themselves, but the ultimate thematic point of RoF doesn't work because Whis is the one who saves everyone - Goku and Vegeta didn't overcome any of the flaws Whis highlighted in any capacity. As much as I dislike that and how obtaining Blue wasn't connected to any shown character development, either, it was actually about Goku and Vegeta having to overcome their major flaws. In addition to that, Freeza is linked to the theme of self-improvement, too, which offers a new perspective on it because it's a villainous version of it, particularly come the ToP.

It's actual character substance that is actually connected to one of the main themes of the story.

The U6 arc has Cabba and Hit as the biggest examples.

You could argue that Cabba getting SSJ so quickly is annoying, but narratively SSJ hasn't been relevant for a long time, so I feel like it doesn't really matter. It was also established that the U6 are different from U7 Saiyans - not only because they are stated to have evolved differently, but also because they have different designs. They are clearly intended to be distinct from U7, only sharing basic traits.

The U6 arc's final battle is about surpassing limits in the most literal sense and also creates an arc for Hit - he learns to enjoy himself again and we later see him also softening up and learning to care.

However, later on, Botamo, Magetta and Frost get a share of this theme, too.

Botamo and Magetta learn to work together, something foreshadowed in the teamwork of the baseball episode.

Frost is shown to have grown stronger when he meets Hit again.

Going back a little bit, though, I think the FT arc is excellent when it comes to this theme. Zamasu's arc is a direct negative parallel to Goku's journey of learning patience - he has no patience for mortals because of all the negativity he sees in them and simple cynicism grows into hate. He is straight-up in a direct opposition to the idea that people could become better people, more specifically.

The ToP is the direct thematic follow-up to this.

Most major and some minor characters go through arcs.

I think they are not always perfectly written character arcs and Jiren specifically should've been set up across the arc, rather than just saved for the end, but I still also like most of them and I think most of them work out by the end.

I like Kale's arc and her standing on equal grounds with Caulifla by the end.

I like Ribrianne realizing her perspective on love isn't absolute and perfect.

I like that Jiren softens up by the end.

I like Cabba taking the lesson he learned from Vegeta to heart.

Going to the main cast, when looking at Goku and his role in this arc, Ultra Instinct is pretty much perfect as the pinnacle of his growth so far. It combines his lessons from Roshi, Korin, Kami and Whis and makes it into my favorite power-up of the series. It's not "new", but still a perfect representation of Goku's journey and the lessons he has learned.

I like that Gohan's arrogance was addressed, but also that his whole arc across the story was made about his indecisiveness. So, he was actually connected to the theme of self-improvement again.

17, 18 and Freeza actually feel like they have the most natural arcs of the ToP to me.

17's and 18's most signficant actions in the tournament are selfless actions that consider others. 18 saves 17 and 17 wishes the universes back. They have come a long way from being directionless jerkish brats.

Freeza is an extremely fascinating example thematically because his arc is a parallel to Goku's: learning patience, but also learning to work for what he wants. He simply uses these lessons for the sake of evil.

Krillin is also a great example of self-improvement: he faces his fears and decides to fight again.

The note the story decides to leave on is disapproving of Zamasu: all of these character arcs and 17's wish show that people can change.

Next, Broly is actually also a little more vague about this theme again, focusing more on the other main idea of the story - the value and importance of the connections with others to us and how the people around us shape us.

The most significant thematic parts are Goku telling Broly to not follow bad people and Broly's SSJ transformation - they bring the movie together thematically for me.

The change of Bardock from Minus does adhere to the self-improvement theme, though. It gives weight to Beerus's initial indifference because Bardock was a Saiyan we saw wanting to be better.

Perhaps if Beerus had given them time, they could've grown to be better? This is bolstered by how the U6 Saiyans actually did grow to be better.

Finally, I like Moro so far because he currently challanges the heroes by different means than they have been challanged so far, leading to a different kind of self-improvement being possible for the characters.

So, I think Super itself is an extremely thematically tight story because it has very few divergences and contradictions (most of them being in RoF).

Unlike the original story, I think it validates the struggles of most of the characters and makes the story directly about one of it's main themes again.

Now it's important that the story wouldn't go back on all these arcs and development because that would just repeat the Buu saga problem of leading to thematic contradiction and confusion.

[ryoseirui]

[Live Report] 5/12 Chang-Gero Sonic: 4th Stage [PointFive(.5), that, halyosy]

Because I just want to be able to put this out there, probably the most detailed English live report of PointFive(.5)’s performance, or I guess, 4th stage in general, at Chang-Gero Sonic 2018. The rest of my report will come at a later date, sorry about that... (I just want to spend my last few days in Chicago having fun before I move back to Boston for the new school year.)

Long post.

During the final song for the 3rd stage, SKILL, I knew that the 4th stage had to be the stage for PointFive(.5). PointFive being a huge part of my life, my only time I can see them perform live... I knew I had to start heading over in order to get good spot. I started moving from my spot, and ended up in about the fourth row from the stage, towards the right of the stage (I was really close to Mi-chan and Asamaru).

From the banners, the other performers for 4th stage also included that and halyosy, and Tourai, who had to back out last minute. (The song he had planned was Roshin Yuukai.)

Once 3rd stage had finished, there was a small DJ portion between the transition, and everybody around me was really antsy. We all couldn’t stand still, but it was just... silent in the front. The back had a lot more people talking and singing along, but in the front, we were all intently watching the stage... waiting. 

We’ve done 7 years of waiting... and that wait was over.

Right before the stage started... Mi-chan tweeted a picture of all 5 of them. “Ittekimasu”. They’re off. I got Mi-chan’s notification on my phone, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My breath was absolutely taken away.

(left to right: amu, Dasoku, clear, Asamaru, Mi-chan)

For the other stages, they started the first song with just, the beginning of the song, but there was a little introduction that I immediately recognized. It was the introduction to “Kimi Reflection” that they used in the live album XFD (it starts at 0:18), the exact same one. 

Hearing that intro… I was thrown back into that time, and I immediately started crying.

Once the real song started, all 5 of them ran on stage: Mi-chan first, then Asamaru, then clear, amu, and lastly, Dasoku. It was a little hard for me to see, because my eyes were just flooded with tears.

It’s been years. It’s been 7 years since they sang this together. 

Dasoku's the first batter in the song, and his microphone was having a little problem, and you couldn’t hear him loud enough. But it started getting louder as the song went on. But his lazy charm... was really there. The emotions didn’t show on his face, but his voice was amazing.

amu was next, and he was having so much fun. He was smiling so much, enjoying singing his lines so much.

clear and Marutan’s exchanging lines were next, and they were looking at each other, smiling, Marutan’s hand on his ear, either trying to fix his earpiece, or to make sure he was audible.

Mi-chan was next, starting off the chorus. He was like amutan, smiling, enjoying this time together.

The lead in the chorus was handed to clear after the line “baka mitai” which the whole crowd sang together... and that last word of the first chorus, “rhythm”... clear was bent over, belting out that note, perfectly. His singing has only perfected over time, and there was a lot more power, more breath control, making it even more powerful than what you here in the recording.

And that’s when everyone in front started to cheer loudly. Reality had sunk in for all of us, that they were all here, all gathered, right in front of us.

Their voices changed so much over the years... they themselves have changed... but it was perfect. The rest of Kimi Reflection... was perfect. Their harmonies were so... together, their colors melting and mixing together, making the world just a bit more colorful, magical. 

And amutan’s high note at the end of the song, he was like clear, bent over, pouring his heart out into this final note. The music finished, and everyone was cheering, screaming things like “Okaeri...!”

(One thing I’d like to note, something that I haven’t seen in other unit lives, is that the screams for each member were pretty equal. The amount of screams for Asamaru, were the same amount as for clear, and the same for Dasoku, Mi-chan, and even amutan, who’s been so inactive on Twitter until the first Chang-Gero lineup announcement... It’s like that on their videos too, which I find something so... intriguing... The love for each member was so balanced...)

It was my first time seeing Asamaru, and honestly? He’s exactly like what I imagined. Small with tired eyes, wwww. He was so cute...

They started talking a bit while the crowd was still applauding.

clear introduced themselves.

clear: Hello, we’re PointFive(.5)! Eh, after our live at the Hibiya Open Air Concert Venue 7 years ago, we went on hiatus. We said that we would come back one day, and even though it’s just for one day, because of Chang-Gero, that wish came true.

The applause started up again.

clear: It’s been 7 years, isn’t it incredible that we’ve gathered again? You guys waited for a long time, huh (w). How have you guys been lately? Has anything changed?

Dasoku: I’ve changed. I’ve gotten fat.

Gero, from backstage: Ojii-chan! Your stomach is poking out!

amu, in English: Me too!

clear: Ah, me too. Marutan and Mi-chan haven’t changed at all, huh (w).

The whole crowd laughed at how those three bluntly said they’ve gotten fat, and that clear just turned to his left and said the same line to the other two. Marutan looked a little startled at the sudden change of direction the conversation was going.

Asamaru: I don’t think I’ve changed.

Mi-chan: I haven’t changed either.

Dasoku: Mi-chan says that, but he’s gotten a little bit macho.

Mi-chan: I gained muscle!

Which then, Mi-chan lifted his hoodie a little bit, and Marutan felt his abs. Everyone in the crowd was just laughing, and the other 3 were just speechless.

Dasoku: Don’t emphasize that it’s been 7 years so much (w).

clear: But 7 years! Elementary schoolers back then...

clear then looked back at the crowd, unable to finish that sentence.

Dasoku: After you’re done properly thinking about it, talk (w).

amu: If it’s been 7 years, elementary schoolers... 

clear: If it’s been 7 years, then they’re in university...! They graduated from high school!

I felt so outed at this moment... WWWW. PointFive(.5) debuted in 2010, so I was in my last year of elementary school at the time. I was in my 3rd year of university during Chang-Gero.

Dasoku: Yep, that’s right (w).

amu: Newborns have entered elementary school during that time... 

Dasoku: Yep, you just keep adding years.

This made me laugh, I love this awkward singing ossan. You’re so old--

clear then returned to the original topic.

clear: But nothing changed!

Dasoku: I already said, I got fat. 

clear: Okay, but besides physical appearance!

Dasoku: Physical appearance (w).

Mi-chan: Oh yeah, Dasoku-san, you became a YouTuber!

clear: But he was banned from YouTube...

Everyone started laughing at this part, because it was just a running joke throughout the whole concert that he got banned from YouTube for a bit. But once the laughs died down, clear tried to get everyone to speak again.

clear: Hey, it feels like no one else is talking! Properly hold the microphone! 

Asamaru: Well, I thought it would be okay if I just left the speaking parts to you, clear...

clear: But I’m not the type to speak much either, you know! It’s because no one else would say anything, so! Someone has to do it! At the end of our live, when we were asked how we felt, everyone just...!

He then started pointing fingers at the rest of them, starting from Dasoku, and ending on Mi-chan. 

clear: “It was fun.” “It was fun.” “It was fun.” “It was fun.” Everyone said that! 

Dasoku: We can just leave it at that, too.

clear: No, we need to have at least one person to do it properly! If there isn’t someone, wouldn’t it be bad! Think about the people who want to write about this!

The banter between those two was so funny.

clear then proceeded to tell them all to say something because they were all quiet.

Dasoku, in a small voice: Everyone has a towel, huh.

clear: Say it in a louder voice, no one can hear.

amu: Eh, I can’t hear, what what?

Dasoku, still in a small voice, a little stubbornly: Everyone has a towel, huh.

Dasoku is so cute. wwww It died down a little bit after that, and clear went on to introducing their next song.

clear: ... Well! We’re all together again, and we’re really thankful for Chang-Gero. I know it’s troubling, but we have one more song together as a group. Well then, please listen. Select me.

Shobon, on the drums, started clicking his sticks together, and clear started off with the iconic first line. “Kakuse~nai~”

I think one of the biggest things that stuck with me during their Select me performance was the sight of all 5 of them, at some point of the song, grabbing onto their chest. The song is about a one-sided love, and Mi-chan before has mentioned “ah, so it’s that kind of love song”. It’s a kind of rough love, where the feelings are so strong you can’t hide it, but you’re too scared to admit it.

That’s exactly how it felt at that time.

clear and amu told us already at Canaria that it would be their last stage together. In the interview with Gero and PUPI, they all expressed that even though they’re excited to perform together, there’s still a lot of anxiety. Those raw feelings seeped into their singing... They didn’t want it to end like this.

I remember there were a lot of tears around me during the lines: “If everyone is smiling, then there’s nothing to fear in these joyful days that seem like eternity.”

During the last chorus, when all of them sang their own “please select me” line, you could see the pain on their faces, even though they were smiling.

At the end, everyone was clapping so hard, cheering for all of them once more, saying thank you for keeping your promise... “We’ll definitely come back.”

They all exited the stage, and about 15-20 seconds passed, and clear came back on. He had taken off his glasses.

clear: Honestly, it’s so amazing... PointFive(.5), huh... I’m really, truly, not the type to talk a lot. But now, I’ll be able to walk while I talk! The next song is a solo ballad that I’ve been given the honor of singing. I believe this is my most popular solo...? Please listen. Little Traveler.

The lights had turned blue, and clear started to sing. 

... let me say this. clear’s voice doesn’t know decay. There are days where his voice is rough on cast, but every performance I’ve been to his, every single live... he delivers. When he belted “hibike” during the bridge... the whole stage vibrated, it shook. The emotions he put into the song, the sheer amount of power... he’s incredible. He really, truly is. 

(I also have not stopped crying since before the stage began. I don’t know how I didn’t pass out from dehydration.)

At the end, he bowed deeply and thanked the crowd, and left the stage.

When Dasoku headed towards the stage, the intro of Shinpakusuu #0822 played. The lighting had turned from blue, to blue and pink, and without saying a word, he started to sing.

When me and Linn saw Shinpakusuu on the setlist, we wondered who would sing it, but hearing Dasoku sing it was just so... calming. Having two ballads in a row like this, by two amazing singers, was just so... much for my heart.

Also, he’s just improved so much since his uploaded version... his voice was so much more stable, and there wasn’t any strain. Listening to him sing really just, showed me the true meaning of “安心感”... just, that sense of security... 

Just as he came on, he left without saying a word. 

Mi-chan came on, and as he came on, the intro for Iroha Uta started playing. The lighting had turned red. 

Mi-chan’s voice has changed so much over the years, it’s not as rough sounding as it was years before when he first covered it, it was pretty smooth, but it still had that... fervent? appeal to it. It was honestly so sexy, the way he just, controlled the stage.

When he was done, he also bowed and thanked the crowd for listening, and he smoothly walked off stage.

The string of smooth transitions ended here... w

clear hurriedly got on stage.

clear: Hurry, hurry!

Dasoku: But it’s far.

clear: It’s not far!

Dasoku... your laziness will never seem to surprise me.

clear: It’s really been such a long time! It’s been a long time since we sang together, the two of us!

Dasoku: Yeah, it has.

clear: ... It’s like you have no feelings... There’s nothingness...

These two are so awkward, I swear...

Dasoku: Yeah, it’s been a long time. Ever since then, we had this terrible argument.

clear: We did not!

Dasoku, trying to imitate clear: I have nero now, so it’s fine.

clear: No, no!! I never said that!

They looked at the crowd, and said their iconic line.

“Ready, go.”

The music for magnet started to play, and they sang it properly until the end of the bridge.

“Daijoubu to sasayaita, anata mo naiteita no?”

The music stopped all of a sudden, and Gero enters the stage.

Gero: This is so great! Dasoclear! “Ready go!” 

Gero then puts the microphone in front of Dasoku’s mouth, waiting for him to say it again. Dasoku says it in such a deep voice, clearly unamused with Gero’s... somewhat incoherent fanboying.

Gero: I heard it from backstage, it was just awesome! It’s sad that Jack-san wasn’t able to make it today.

Dasoku and clear are just looking at him, the looks on their face just screaming “eh, what is this guy doing...”

Gero: You know, I sang this as well~ I sang it together with someone named Faneru-kun. Where do you all think he is right now?

Gero then looked up into the sky.

Gero: Fa-kun! I’m doing fine!

The crowd was just laughing, saying things like “he’s not dead!” and “don’t kill him off like that!”

But then a voice answered.

?: Don’t kill me off like that.

THE WHOLE CROWD WAS IN SHOCK. WE KNEW THAT VOICE.

?: I’m not in a place like that.

Gero: Can you see us?

Faneru: I can. Hello, everyone. It’s been a couple of years. This is Faneru.

Gero: This is so nostalgic, we also uploaded this. We were called “Negero”.

And then Faneru literally just jumps into the dialogue from the intro of their magnet. “To iu wake de...”

Gero looked so offended when he went for the lines, but played along and recited his lines as well. But after Faneru’s “outobutsu damare” line, Gero was laughing too much to keep going, but Faneru continued. Faneru changed the lines a bit, and instead of saying the request for magnet, like in the video, he said “what are you doing now?” It was a question directed towards himself.

Gero: Ohh, that’s a good question! I’m interested too!

Faneru: Eh, right now, I’m actually in charge of doing the mix at this live. 

The whole crowd was honestly just yelling nonstop now between each line exchange.

Gero: I can always count on you! I rely on you for so many things, that’s how I can make a living. Even today, you flew out from Kumamoto to Tokyo for me.

The whole crowd just goes “Eh?!” in unison.

Faneru: Everyone, where do you think I am right now?

Everyone was just looking around at this point, trying to find out where that voice was coming from.

Faneru: I’m above the stage.

Gero then just goes “hah?!” and looks up, and calls him “Ten no Koe”. He goes “Ten no Koe, Ten no Koe-san, yeah!”

Faneru then says the finishing blow. “Thank you for always supporting me.”

4th Stage literally had everyone in ruins by this point, if they weren’t already.

Gero then takes the mic and says “Who here like Faneru!” AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING FOR HIM AT THIS TIME, so many hands in the air, waving, hoping that he can see all of us...

Gero: But I really do want to thank you. Therefore! For the last chorus, let’s all sing together. To reach the guy backstage. And also, to the creator of this song, who wasn’t able to make it today.

He points his finger into the sky.

Gero: Make it reach Tourai-san!

The music starts to play again, and Gerorin screams his iconic “gigabyte”. The whole crowd sang magnet together, starting from “dakiyosete hoshii, tashikamete hoshii~” of the last chorus.

clear and Dasoku leave the stage, and Gero’s the only one left. He announces the next performer, and that walks on stage. Everyone’s just in the crowd, torn by hit after hit from 4th stage.

that walks on stage so professionally, and the music starts playing, and it’s a ballad. rain stops, good-bye. Everyone’s emotions are in ruins, and the way that was singing it, was just so full of emotions, and everyone who was crying already was just crying even harder, but at least our souls had calmed down a little bit.

that walks off, and halyosy gets on stage, and he sings Konbini. I love halyosy’s voice so much, its so strong and stable... And this soft song just matches this soft man so well. At the end of the song, everyone was just in a very fluffy mood, all just smiling at halyosy’s softness.

that comes back on stage, joining halyosy! They introduce themselves as “thalyosy”, saying that they were actually part of the same band a long time ago named “absorb”, and it’s been a long time since they disbanded. 

that then goes into his usual self, and immediately starts to roast halyosy. He points out that halyosy is just wearing an all white outfit (white dress pants, white collared shirt, white suit jacket, and a white hat), and halyosy starts to get flustered and defensive.

that: You’re wearing an all white outfit, you look really strange, you know that?

halyosy: What are you saying?! When I called you last night about what to wear, you told me that white matches with white, so I ended up just picking an all white outfit!

that: I can’t believe you fell for that~ But that’s something that makes you so likable, holyasy (horuyashi) (w).

halyosy: Who’s holyasy?!

Everyone was just giggling at how cute halyosy was, everyone knows how much of an airhead halyosy is. 

They move on, saying that the next song was a song that means a lot to them, it’s a song that they had written a long time ago. It was popular at first, but then it had fallen from the rankings until they sang it at a high school graduation... and then it became a staple in high school graduations all around Japan, something they didn’t expect to happen at all. They then announced the song, Sakura no Ame.

... 4th stage really wasn’t fair. Their vocals together were so beautiful, so soft... Sakura no Ame is such an iconic song and it really does deserve all the love and attention it gets every time graduation season rolls around in Japan. 

(Also, I love how everyone tweets halyosy during graduation season, sending videos and their thoughts and feelings about singing Sakura no Ame at their graduation. halyosy replies to the tweets, and also RTs the performances... it’s so sweet, he’s so sweet.)

Once they’re done, they invite PointFive(.5) back on the stage with them. Once they get on stage, that sudden speaks about Asamaru.

that: Earlier, I was watching Asamaru-san from the back, and I just thought he was so cute. I was wondering why he was holding an empty water bottle while he speaks, it was really so cute.

Everyone was laughing, saying that that’s really cute, and Asamaru was trying to deny it (but no he was really so cute).

They talk about how it’s been so long since they’ve all been standing on stage together. They said were also happy to be able to sing the song halyosy had written for them one more time, and halyosy was a little embarrassed, saying that it means a lot to hear it be sung again.

Their thanks transitioned really well into them announcing the next song.

halyosy: The next song was another song we had written, and you sang it for your first album!

clear: The arrangement was really amazing...

halyosy: It’s been 7 years since we all sang this song together at Hibiya. Let’s all sing it together. Fire◎Flower.

The crowd sang along the whole time, just like halyosy wanted us to, especially screaming along to the “ah oh, ey yey yey!” part! It was so energetic, everyone around the stage was having such a fun time, dancing around and smiling together, and to each other. 

Something really cute that happened during Fire◎Flower is that amutan had gone behind Marutan, taking his hands and waving it around during the chorus, and Marutan was just, letting him do it... WWWW... They were both so cute.

As the song ended, PointFive(.5) talked about how they were happy to be back for the day, thanking PUPI and Gero for this chance, and thanking everyone who came to watch them. that and halyosy also thanked everyone, and they all started walking off the stage, everyone cheering for them, people still screaming out “okaeri”... 

At the end, while everyone was exiting, Marutan actually took his phone out of his chest pocket, and faced the camera to the whole crowd... We were all wondering what he was doing, until he announced it at the very end...

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x01 recap

Okay so honestly, until the episode actually aired I wasn’t sure this recap would happen. This hiatus has been all too easy for me, because the finale-- or, specifically, the time jump paired with the realisation that Weller really was going to have a kid-- really made me question whether this was still the show I fell in love with, and if I really wanted to dedicate any more of my time to it. Plus, since I avoid spoilers, there were some serious concerns-- for example, whether Weller even knew why Jane left-- that I had, that I didn’t have the answers to yet.

Which meant that basically I went into this episode not really expecting to feel particularly positive about it. But instead-- like with the second half of S2 after that rather unpleasant start-- damn Gero managed to pull me back in, as he somehow always does.  

So here goes. Recap time. But fair warning: this review is about my personal feelings towards the show, and therefore you may not agree with what you read. Feel free to come and talk to me about it anyway.

Honestly I (like everyone else) knew a wedding was coming, but unlike everyone else I wasn’t all that interested to see it. I mean, I’m happy for them and all, but I’m more interested in seeing the being-married part than the actual getting married. But then the flowers, and the music, and the family looking so beautiful, and Patterson OFFICIATING, and Hirst and Stuart being there (side note: I am only now recognising Stuart as an actor from Gero’s old show the LA Complex, along with about six other actors who have been on this show over the years lol). But anyway, considering my biggest problem with S2 was the baby fiasco, I was expecting to feel the same nausea when seeing the baby onscreen as when I thought of it at any other time (it’s literally one of my least fave tropes, guys, so I’m sorry but I will always hate the existence of the baby), but it was fairly easy to just ignore it. I was bummed not to see Sarah or Sawyer, who would literally have never missed this wedding and tbh would have been a waaaaaaaay better inclusion in S2 and 3 than the unwanted offspring, but whatever. #Foreverbitter

That said, seeing the team laughing and dancing and having an amazing time was just the best. And of course the Jeller lovey-doveyness was so great, and maaaann I really wish we could have heard those speeches. Reade and Tasha dancing was a little bit borderline for me-- they’re so cute and I love them as best friends but PLEASE GERO JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS. DON’T PUT THEM TOGETHER. PLEASE DON’T.

Ngl I don't at all like that Jeller moved to Colorado. Big nope for me, though I understand why it happened, and god I did love the scene with the fam helping them pack and then tough-as-nails Tasha crying??? Let me die. But I also identify with her the most rn, bc she GETS it. With Jeller gone, their family will never be the same. The roadtrip montage was cute, and the carrying over the threshold???? Ughhhhh save me. I love that they took on the project of the house, the two of them making the perfect team (was there a baby in this montage? Nope, not that I saw. No babies here. Maybe just Allie’s new puppy that they look after from time to time. Yeah, let’s go with that. Bethany is a puppy they babysit and no one can force me to view it as anything else).

So as much as I’m enjoying this montage of domestic bliss, I’m kinda ready for it to end because GUYS PLEASE I’M TOO USED TO ANGST AND SLOW BURN, YOU CAN’T OVERLOAD ME WITH FLUFF LIKE THIS.  And then phew it ends, leaving us in the new Jeller residence with Weller just returning from napping in the laundry beside Bethany’s basket because she still howls when she’s left alone and so he had to pet her until she fell asleep. Awwwww, so nice of these two to look after Allie’s puppy while she works nightshift. I love that Jane cooked dinner-- I bet Weller’s been teaching her and lots of sweet and sexy kitchen times have ensued. Jane gushes about the puppy’s cuteness and Weller suggests maybe they should get one of their own. Good thing they’re talking about a puppy and not a child because wow “one of our own” sure had a very exclusionary implication, like Jane was not at all connected to any other puppies/babies that might exist. But anyway I gotta move on before the world I’ve carefully constructed in this Matrix starts glitching. Saved by the bell, or rather the phone-- it’s Keaton with a warning that their lives are in danger, and here’s yet another topic that threatens to glitch my reality. Keaton tortured Jane for THREE MONTHS. Brutally and without true remorse. He should be persona non grata with literally everyone (the team and the fans alike), but instead the writers have turned him into the team’s new buddy. This is the biggest issue I’ve had with the show, I think-- not Keaton specifically, but what he represents. Because honestly when I think about certain plot points in theory, I feel very strongly and very negatively about them; but when the show goes “no it’s fine everything’s actually great” it somehow sucks me in and I just go ‘oh okay cool everything is great, that’s good then’’, and I just?? For example, I really enjoyed watching Keaton in the finale, and then I thought about it after the episode ad was like ‘wait no I hate him, how did I forget I hate him?’ Like I stg Gero is a wizard, and like anything truly magic related, that’s both a good and a bad thing. But anyway rn I’m appreciative of Keaton because he just helped save Jane and Weller’s lives. So I guess he gets points for that, though technically Jane has saved his life a couple of times already now. Jeller proceed to beat the crap out of their attackers, and aaahhhh, isn’t this so much more THEM than painting walls and picking out cushions? Their Colorado life was a nice little holiday but it wasn’t them.  Naturally the gunshots wake little puppy Bethany who is now barking in distress, but they check on her and she’s fine. Keaton rocks up to explain that some Sandstorm member has put out a hit on Jane for $10M, and now no one can stop a shit-ton of mercenaries from coming after Jane. Keaton and Jane are in agreement about putting Jane into a version of WitSec-- hopefully with much more comfortable lodgings than the last time she was put up by the CIA. (#Yesstillbitter).  Weller tries to reject the idea, then decides he’s coming too, bc “You’re my wife” ughhhhhh, but Jane can’t let him walk away from the rest of his life. She knows what that’s like, after all, though lbr giving up her life as Remi was the best thing she ever did. Unfortunately for Weller, he has a very hardheaded wife and he sleeps very heavily when he’s cuddling a fluffy puppy, so Jane bails in the middle of the night, and nope nope nope  I never needed to see her crying as she pulled off her wedding ring, thanks Satan (I mean Gero). But lbr, Weller is Jane’s everything, and she would do anything-- including break her own heart-- to keep him safe. Oh, Jane, you noble idiot.  At least this whole scene has allayed one of my concerns going into this season-- Weller definitely knows why Jane had to go, so he knows it was done out of love, and not for the lack of it.  I still think she could have kept the ring, but I suppose by leaving it she was telling him that she was okay, that she was leaving of her own accord and hadn’t been kidnapped or murdered or anything.

Have I mentioned lately how much I really hate time-jumps??? After the finale, I desperately hoped that they had been married the majority of that two year gap and that their separation was only like three or so months. I even mostly-completed a oneshot postfinale fic along those lines, but then we found out about the 18 month thing and I was like “well screw you too, show” (#yepdefinitelybitter) and abandoned the story entirely. Plus, it’s been otherwise proved non-canon now, so that was rather a waste of time. But anyway, it’s now 18 months after Jane disappeared (undoubtedly aided by Keaton) and you just know the whole family will have been scattered to the winds. Another reason to hate time jumps. Speaking of the team, Hirst shows up at Weller’s apartment-- which he somehow still has; renting it out, I guess?? But damn he’s clearly richer than I thought he was. He’s about to sell it though bc he’s spending all his time and money searching for Jane, just as he has for the last 18 months. And on one hand, I can totally be like “awww he loves her so much” but on the other hand I want to be like “wtf you sadistic writers, you’re literally going to rip apart a couple who loves each other for A YEAR AND A HALF, which is a FREAKING LONG TIME (seriously where were you 1.5yrs ago? Think about that and how much of forever ago it was) and then also literally have the love of Weller’s life disappear into thin air, when he had already spent 25 years of his life searching for the last person he loved who disappeared, and OH YEAH, WHO TURNED OUT TO HAVE BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME???” Legit, if you actually take two seconds to think about it, this entire plotline is freaking awful and upsetting and yet the show will literally brush it off like it’s nothing, or merely a tiny insignificant blip in their lives. Just watch. And so again, this is one of those moments where Gero bedazzles us into not being upset by things which very much should upset us. But ANYWAY, Hirst is there because the team has been kidnapped, and I use the word ‘team’ lightly here, because they literally haven't seen each other in like a year because everything fell apart after Jeller abandoned them to go puppysit in Colorado. Anyhow, a mysterious box with Jane’s name on it (or her maiden name at least, no one can convince me that the woman for whom Weller is her home wouldn’t have taken his name and the belonging that went with it) was left in Reade’s apartment, likely because he’s the only one left in NYC because all the others bailed. Seriously I feel like this team’s breaking apart has given ME abandonment issues, so I have no idea how they’re all managing. But anyway the other nifty thing about the box is that it has coordinates on it, very possibly leading to Jane’s location. Congrats, Weller, looks like you don’t have to sell your apartment after all. And you totally have all the info you need to go find Jane, plus an excellent excuse, given that only she can open the box and help them save their friends (who they completely ditched two years ago). Fun times.

Jump to Nepal, and the scene from the finale. Now we know for sure that the hug was because Jane had never wanted to leave him, which is nice. Also that whoever left the box (lbr we all already know it’s Roman) literally made it so the two of them HAD to solve this together. Looks like someone ships his his sister and brother in law lol…  Aaaand okay now Jane is glowing. She admits that it must have happened when she was in an accident some months ago that had her in and out of consciousness for days, and wow how must that feel for Weller? Hearing that she literally almost died months ago and he would never have known about it? Dammit Jane, I know you suffered without him too and that you were doing it for ‘good’ reasons, but I still think you were wrong to do it. If anyone has a time machine up their sleeve, please donate it to these guys so they can go back and make better choices.

But all realistic feelings aside, the pair are straight back into tattoo solving mode (admit it guys, you’ve missed this) and quickly figure out that the first clue is a reference to the place that Weller proposed to Jane-- St Mark’s Square in Venice. Which on one hand is ugh so sweet and romantic but on the other is… kinda unoriginal? Lol. But regardless I need to hear more about his proposal. How long were they in Venice? How long had they been together? Did he intend to propose the whole time or did it just happen? Why did they holiday in Venice as opposed to other locations? Tell me EVERYTHING, GERO. But anyway Jane’s like ‘It’s happening all over again’ and it’s easy to assume she’s unhappy about that, but then again, maybe she’s actually not? Technically working with the team on the tattoos was the best time of her life (with some exceptions here and there). Weller offers for her to stay out of it if she wants to-- which is big of you, Weller, it really is. I mean we all know you're desperately hoping she comes with you, but then again you want her to be safe, so… this must be conflicting lol. But of course Jane is down to rescue their best friends (again, friends that they abandoned #irrationallybitter), and lbr is probably super sick of climbing that damn cliff, PLUS can’t face leaving her hubby a second time, so together they set off to Venice. Yay!

Weller has taken some full-body shots of the new tatts (I feel like that had to be slightly awkward for both of them) and sends them through to the lab, where they are received by Stuart (onya for moving up in the world, buddy), Hirst, and… RICH DOT FREAKIN COM. I mean, we’ve all known for a while that he was returning, and suspected long before that, but honestly this is the moment that makes the episode for me. My fave is back and is making jokes about nudes, and all is right with the world.  Jane is like ‘wtf’, and so Weller gives her a rundown on all she missed-- namely, that her entire ‘family’ has become estranged-- Reade is working in a position that tbh feels above his ability and experience level, give that his predecessors are the superhuman Mayfair and the wonderboy Weller; Tasha the CIA-hater is now working for the man who tortured Jane; Patterson has literally moved as far across the country as she can, to do work as far from their FBI work as possible. See what happens when parents abandon their children, Jane?? Everything falls apart, so you better go fix it. Also, two things: first, I wanna know all about Rich’s dealings with the FBI in the last two years. Give me a spin off just about that, please. Secondly, did Rich and Patterson try to find Jane after she disappeared and how did they feel about their (apparent) lack of success?  But anyway ugh literally every line of Rich’s is pure gold. I love that he’s staying in the same safe-house she did?? Keeping it in the family lol.  And then ugh for all his jokes about the nudes etc, you can tell he’s legitimately concerned that they’re about to walk into a trap. Oh my baby loves and misses his friends and wants them back in one piece and I juST LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Meanwhile, in the fun bunker, Reade and Zapata wake up after being drugged, and while he’s all business, she’s like “it’s good to see you, even if it takes being kidnapped for it to happen” and we discover that they haven't spoken at all in the year since Zapata went to the CIA. Dammit Jeller, see what you did??? Everything is broken!!!  And now a long-haired Patterson is herded into their cell, and is understandably all ‘wtf’ about it. Well, at least they’re all in the same room again, right?

Seeing Jeller in Venice is weird. I walked right there in the spot where they're walking, many times. I saw everything they’re seeing now. And ugh Jane says it seems like forever ago that they were last here, whereas for Weller it feels like it just happened. Which subtly demonstrates how they’re no longer in sync, and then ugh Weller tells her that this was the first place he came to after she disappeared, going straight to the place that only they knew about, hoping that she was waiting for him. But she wasn’t, and ugh you can tell how much that hurt him, realising that she was never going to come. How long did he wait for her before he realised that?? Ugh. But I appreciate that she immediately stops to apologise and try to explain herself, including making it clear that her love for him was the driving factor behind everything she did. The choice of language by the writers is clever, though, because we (and Weller) hear her say ‘loved’ and neither of us know for sure if that love is still present tense or not. Which of course it is, but still, the suspense… But ugh poor Weller. He’s still so hurt. Jane can you just give him another hug please? For longer this time? Like, say, forever?  

Also sidebar: I’m holidaying in Vanuatu atm, and there’s an old guy swimming in the pool that I’m sitting beside, and he looked up at me as I was writing that last sentence and at first I thought maybe it’s because he’s a man and I’m female in a bikini, but then he goes (in a cute, accented voice) “Don’t work so hard. You’re on holiday! You should be relaxing!” hahaha. Don’t worry, buddy, I’ve been lazing by this pool for hours now, and I’m currently writing about some of my favourite fake humans. I’m all good.

Meanwhile back in the Blindspot world, Jeller find a case on the roof that has her tattoo on the side, and while Weller is all ‘wait for the bombsquad!!’ Jane ignores him and immediately opens it. Ah, Weller, did you miss this? I mean it’s just like old times.  Inside the case there’s a phone, and Jane calls the number, and Roman answers almost too eagerly. He’s clearly pleased to be interacting with them both, and proud of himself for his genius plan for ‘tormenting’ them (while also bringing them back together, freeing Jane from the hit on her, and giving him an excuse to interact with them whenever he wants). Aw, my psychopathic lil boy just misses his family. Honestly it sounds like he’s gone through a fair bit of trouble to get to the guy who holds the hit out on Jane and give them a way to take him down… a way that involves kinda almost killing Jane but eh, could be worse? And then ooooh they realise from the bells that he’s right there in the square too, and omg as Jane is asking him how they get their friends back (answer: apparently they don’t) she’s spinning around looking for him, and right behind her is a walkway with a snack bar on one side of it, and man I have such clear memories of walking along that walkway to our hotel or stopping into that snack bar for gelati. Ugh, I miss Venice. And then he says her name again (dude it’s Jane WELLER, not Doe) and she spots him and takes off after him and Weller suddenly panics because he doesn’t know where she is (ugh my poor boy) but luckily he manages to take the exact right turn to find them (do you know how easy it is to get turned around in Venice?????  He’d have never found them) and he jumps onto Roman’s getaway boat which is badass, and after what seems like several minutes of an unpleasant upper-body workout he manages to pull himself up on the boat and attack Roman. Meanwhile Jane, who got left behind earlier, has managed to just about catch up to them despite having commandeered what appears to be the Italian version of a motor-pontoon.  Also Roman manages to keep his sunnies on throughout their fight which is pretty damn impressive considering that Weller has bodyslammed him a couple of times as well as punching him full on in the face more than once. But eh. Weller does manage to dislodge Roman's jacket as he gets literally kicked off the boat, though. Good thing Captain Jane and her trusty vessel aren't far behind, and pick him up. I like that she called him Weller; that’s right Jane, just because it’s your name now too doesn’t mean you can’t still call him that. Oooooh but rather than being grateful for the rescue, Weller is too busy being upset with Jane for ditching him, which he’s understandably just a tad sensitive about these days. Looks like these guys have still got a little bit to go in terms of getting their groove back. And while Jane is lamenting Roman’s escape, Weller shows her the phone from the pocket of Roman’s jacket, his voice all proud. Yeah, son, you did good.

Back at the lab, Stuart is still being antagonized by Rich, who I have to say pulls off those flowered shirts better than I would have believed possible. Though lbr, I gave up on trying not to be inexplicably attracted to Rich a long time ago. While they’re cracking the encrypted phone, Jeller go ahead with Roman’s plan to get rid of Jane’s bounty. Not that the munchkin is happy about it, of course, but Jane is determined to have her life back-- lbr, after getting to see Weller again after all this time, there’d be no way she could ever let him go again. While Weller’s super against the death-mimicking drug, it gets support from Stuart and Rich, the former in simply confirming that it does what Roman says it does, and the latter detailing his own uses for it which include faked-death border crossings and, of course, ‘some sex stuff’. Not sure I wanna hear the sex stories, but the border crossings one sure has me intrigued. The guys do bring up one catch: if she doesn’t have the antidote within 90 mins, she’ll actually die.  Weller is NOT down with that, but before he can even get past the opening statement of his list of all the reasons why this is a Bad Idea, Jane stabs herself in the leg with the needle. His face is the most hilarious thing, like ‘Aaaaand she did the thing. Of course she did the thing. Why do I even ever try to talk her out of the thing, she always just does it anyway.’ lol. But let’s not forget there, he could literally grab the antidote right out of that case and stab her with it right now, completely counteracting the drug’s effects and preventing the plan from being able to go ahead. But she begged him to do it for her-- for them-- and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Especially if it gives him the love of his life back. And come on, it’s not a true Jeller moment until one of them does something the other tells them not to, nearly dies, and is saved by the other, so…

In the fun bunker, the (now loosely defined) team is trying to figure out where they are (no clue), and why they were taken, and Reade immediately assumes it’s something to do with Zapata’s work at the CIA, and the two of them are immediately at each other’s throats about it before Patterson plays mediator, trying to get everyone to focus. On one hand I agree with Reade, bc the CIA is pretty shady and I don’t trust them, but Zapata’s probably right when she says that it must be about their time in the FBI since all three of them are here. However some Spanish-accented military dudes appear a moment later and tell them to break into a fancy safe or die, and hmmmm that is not quite what I expected. While Patterson assesses the crackability of the safe (fairly easy apparently, and dude how could I ever forget how much I love Patterson) Reade gets his wet-blanket on, and starts preaching about how they shouldn’t open it bc it’s a government safe and might have dangerous secrets inside etc, whereas Zapata is all “pshh, that’s a problem for another day. Today’s problem is not dying” which I fully support. And then they’re at it again (and not ‘at it’ in the sexy way, which in this moment would be uncomfortable for all kinds of reasons) but in the squabbly bickery way, but Patterson interrupts with some much needed truth bombs: Reade is mad at Zapata for leaving, Zapata’s mad at him for freezing her out after she left, and the team fell apart after Jeller left and they’re all still trying to deal with that loss. And ughhh everyone missed each other and they’re all unhappy in their separate lives and clearly the solution here is for everyone to come back to the team and stay together forever and never let Gero break them up ever again ugh. But anyhow, like all Patterson rants, this one results in everyone being like ‘sorry mom what do we need to do’ and ugh I’ve missed themmmmmm

Back in Venice, Weller is rolling a duffel bag with his estranged wife’s death-adjacent body inside. Act natural, Weller, because this would be a really awkward time to get stopped by the cops. Also sidenote, he’s rolling that bag like it doesn’t weigh much at all, which I'm going to pretend is just because he’s jacked and not because there’s actually nothing in the bag that they filmed with lol. Anyhow, the bag is now up on the altar in a church filled with bad guys, and time is running out before Jane needs the antidote. Of course the bounty guy is late. Thanks for my blood pressure issues, Blindspot. Also another sidenote, but the guy who greets him is totally a silver fox. Too bad he’s soon to be either arrested or dead. Finally his boss arrives-- he got caught up watching a glassblower, which tbh I completely understand, bc that kind of thing is awesome-- and then lolllll he listens with a stethoscope for like 2 seconds and then does a blood pressure and then declares Jane dead?? Um, no. As someone who has certified the deaths of many people in the last three years, and also interacted with a lot of death-adjacent people, let me tell you that a) a blood pressure is useless, b) he would need to listen for at LEAST two minutes with the steth, and c) there are several other simple checks he should have done that totally would have given Jane away.  But whatevs, his lack of any medical understanding totally works in our favour.  Weller is all “cool I love that she’s dead and that I’m getting all the moneys for it, hey can I have a sec with the body please?” but nope, the dude has his cronies ready to take her to the in-house crematorium (wow, talk about a one-stop shop) and Weller’s al ‘coolcoolcool’ *punches the dudes out and stabs Jane’s body right through the bag before being pulled away and having his ass handed to him*. And okay Jane would not have woken up instantly like that but DAMN if it doesn't look cool with her slowly emerging from the bag like an avenging angel (cool parallel with the pilot, of course) and then she’s all ‘how dare u hurt my man’, leading to a shot like in those cartoons where two characters are brawling inside a closed room or building and all you see is like the door bending outwards and clouds of dust puffing up and windows rattling etc, and then BAM BABY, JELLER IS BACK AND KICKING BUTT and also looking like they’re both a little turned on by it which is kind of awkward but at the same time I fully support it and Idk there’s just a lot of emotions going on rn

Rich excitedly confirms that Roman’s plan actually worked and Jane is now free, and ugh I like to think that it’s not just because he can’t believe it worked but more that he’s just really happy for them bc he ships them so much and it also means that they’re going to be coming home and basically I just  want the whole gang back together ugh. That might be a little difficult though, as Rich informs them of the not-so-good good news-- Roman sold the other three into slavery, but thankfully he’s freaking awesome (and knows it) because he’s managed to figure out where they were taken. Lol at Weller's “Ugh he’s worse than Patterson” hahahaha. Ugh I just LOVE THESE GUYS. And so the others are apparently being held by the Venezuelan government, and Rich tells Jeller where, but they can’t have any official help (Oh Stuart: “shouldn't we just call the president or something?” my sweet summer child) and so Keaton is there to hook them up with some of his contacts and goddammit why is hating him so damn hard. And awww I love that lil baby Stuart is getting to play with the big kids these days, and awww Hirst is determined to get their ‘friends’ back (not their ‘agents’ or their ‘team’) and ugh this FAMILYYYY. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the original family of five has now been joined by the cool wine aunt, the awkward and often annoying but also kinda useful uncle, the wacky flamboyant cousin, and the shy young nerd cousin now added into the mix.

In the fun bunker, Patterson is casually cracking the safe while snacking on her MRE, while Reade whines about his own food and Zapata messes with him for entertainment. Ah, good times. Then Patterson opens the safe-- literally the others seem to be barely there for anything other than moral support-- and they realise that  the safe contains a government computer, probably with a bunch of dangerous secrets on it. Uh-oh. Before they can argue more about the merits of dying for the cause, though, the baddies arrive. They want Patterson to decrypt the computer which is gonna take a hella long time. Awww ‘we paid for the best computer specialist in the FBI’, and ughhh she really is. And then it turns out that Reade and Zapata are literally just there as incentive for her to get crackin’ or they’ll be killed. Eeeep. But our Patty Pat is a genius, and the baddies made the epic mistake of providing sustenance in the form of MREs. Basically if they use the hot packets from the food to turn the computer into a flashbang, they can distract the baddies long enough  to overpower them and escape. Ugh I’m so proud of my lil baby genius. And she makes Reade apologise to the food for badmouthing it hahaha. Man I have missed this lil team so much!!

Up in the sky, Jeller are rushing to save their buddies, but also having The Talk-- aka the ‘what are we now?’ talk, bc lbr Jane so desperately wants their life together back, both as a married couple and as kickass FBI agents, but she doesn’t know if she has the right to have it back or if it's even what he wants, and then he’s all ‘yep let’s be married again we can just sweep this past 18 months under the rug please I’m good with that let’s just do that’ and ugh Jane admits that leaving him and their life was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but-- and man does he feel the ‘but’-- she really found herself after she left him. Oh man, what a kick in the guts. I totally get what she’s saying-- it’s not that she doesn’t want to be with him, or that she can only truly be herself without him, it’s that the puppy-sitting life in backwater Colorado is just not for her (Well, duh). She did it once to make him happy, but she can’t go back to it again or she’ll go stir-crazy. Well, good thing these new tattoos have given them both the perfect excuse to go back to their lives of kicking ass in NYC! Poor Weller though, he doesn’t understand yet, and the way his voice gets a little choked up just kills me. Oh Weller, just because she discovered who she is as a person without you (bearing in mind that pretty much her entire life that she can remember, you’ve been there), doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you with all her heart!

Now Jeller are at the compound, about to search every building individually when the others save them a bunch of time by causing a hell of a ruckus (exploding computers, gunfire, all-round hell breaking loose-- you know, the usual) and so Jeller have to adjust their plans. In a big, kick-ass way. I love the three making their big escape and then seeing the tank a roll up and aim towards them and they’re all ‘shit alright you got us geez we surrender’ and then BAM, the tank destroys the bad guys’ vehicles and probably everyone’s eardrums as well. I just love the wtf moment that these three must have when Weller suddenly pops up out of the tank-- dad’s here guys! Time to go! And then they’re inside and mom is driving and they all probably think that they’re hallucinating from something in the Mexican Style chicken stew and ughhhh they must be so relieved and Jane literally drives over a car bc ain't nothing getting in the way of getting her family to safety. Also lol Patterson must have been raking it in with the app designing because she’s all ‘I gotta buy me one of these’ haha. I’d love to see her cruising around NYC in one hahaha. And then ugh Jeller are all in sync again , taking out the baddies following them and the team is half-confused, half-happy and they have so many questions and then Reade’s “We got time, this tank is slow as hell’ lolllll. Well he’s not wrong…. wonder how long it took for things to get awkward??

Aaaand the team is safely back at the NYO, and Jane is in the scanner again, and Keaton is there again for whatever reason-- oh, because he wants the CIA to take the tattoo cases, while Hirst is all ‘bish please” in her excellent southern accent. So lemme guess, this is about to be a joint task force… and yep, Reade is all ‘this is the most sensible option’ like he totally doesn’t just want Zapata back. Haha yeah Keaton, you get me on this. It’s nice to see Reade stepping up and going head to head with the big kids, though I still don’t think he’s ready to be in this position (Are we forgetting the whole Jones thing and the drug binge??). But whatevs. Reade goes to tell the team about the joint task force and they’re like yeah duh, we’re all already in’. Well, except Patterson, who is playing a little hard to get. Maybe she’s still struggling to deal with all the Sandstorm trauma? And then omg “Rich is gonna brief us in Stuart’s lab” was the perfect sentence to say right then to convince her to stay haha. Well played, Reade. Patterson is not happy at all about Rich being involved, though Reade defends him which feels kinda weird but I also like it. I wanna hear more about their interactions. Again, spin-off, anyone?? Weller is all ‘oh god please where is the briefing just give us the briefing’ so after a lil more Patterson/Rich bickering (ah how I’ve missed that), Stuart tells them what they already know-- lots of tattoos to crack, so they better get…. Cracking (*insert finger guns here*). Patterson is now all in, refusing to leave this to Rich and Stuart (“No offense Stuart” hahahaha), and Jane is in too, despite Hirst offering for her to be free if she wants. Aww, Hirst. You are a sweetie pie. And then Rich: “Backstreets back alright! Six best friends and Stuart!” And UGH YES. Give me all the Rich, and all the Patterson and the Stuart and the ughhhh all of it. I do love that all joking aside, Rich does very genuinely tell Jane it's nice to see her again. He loves his Jane and he would do anything for her ugh

Oooh Jeller in their old apartment, and he’s all unsure whether she really wants to be there with him and she makes it clear that there’s nowhere else she wants to be, and yaaaas my boy acknowledges that the move to Colorado really didn’t fit her and that she’d given up a lot of her own happiness and personal meaning just to make him happy. So now they just need to strike a balance, which is all she wants-- to be there with him and be happy and in luuuurve while also kicking butt and saving people.  And then ugh he pulls her ring out of his pocket and he’s been carrying it EVERY DAY since she left and he rushes to tell her that she doesn’t have to put it back on until she’s ready and ugh she takes it and kisses him and then lord save me from how husky her voice goes when she tells him she’s missed him so much and ughhhhh he’s missed her too and ugh my babies are about to have reunion sex on multiple surfaces in the house and I’m so happy for them. Damn Gero yet again you have managed to make the thought of 18 awful months completely disappear in the face of this excellence, and it’s all too easy to just let you make me forget, and ugh I want to stay upset about it but I just can’t. Damn it you crafty wizard, how have you gotten me so under your spell….

Lol Aunty Hirst checking in with Reade, seeing if he’s okay with all his fam coming back, but also warning him (and us) that none of these people are the same as they were two years ago. And to prove that point, uncle Keaton and Zapata are having their own, much shadier  little conference about one of the tattoos, one that clearly points to something related to either them or the CIA in general, but it’s something they’re both very familiar with and won’t let the others find out about. Oooh, secrets. Speaking of secrets, Rich and Patterson have apparently been interacting regularly over the last two years??? And before anyone goes there, NO, I  I don’t think their relationship is at all romantic or sexual. I think they’ve been business partners of a sort (probably with Boston as well, since he and Patterson kinda became buds) and I also think that Patterson has been secretly helping Rich help the FBI with their cases. But again, I want to hear ALL about whatever they’ve been up to bc ugh I love these two and their dynamic though I also kinda wanna give Rich a hug and tell Patterson to be nicer to her weirdo cousin haha. Oh wait, you thought we were done with the secrets???? Nope, Jane is looking unhappy and  hiding a bunch of passports (probably given to her by Keaton) away the moment Weller leaves, and he steps outside their (apparently-renovated) building and immediately encounters Roman, who basically blackmails him to help him with tattoo-related stuff or he’ll tell Jane about ‘what happened in Berlin’. Weller is agrees to help immediately, which kinda makes it seem like whatever happened in Berlin was really, really bad. And again NO IT WAS NOT SOMETHING ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL. Geez, people. Neither Jane nor Weller would have slept with anyone else during their separation. To think so would be to have no understanding of either of the characters, or their character growth. Far more likely Weller did something that would be considered illegal or amoral, like killing someone, or something. Personally I think he and Roman encountered each other in Berlin and had an altercation wherein Weller injured and very nearly killed Roman, and Roman only survived by pure luck? That feels like a thing he’d want to keep from Jane, that he nearly killed her only family? Plus then he would kind of ‘owe’ Roman as well,. But idk, maybe it was something even shadier. Guess we’ll find out….

And so okay, I admit it. You've won, Gero. You’ve done a ton of things that have upset me or that I object to on multiple levels, but try as I might I can’t escape from your web. Looks like I’m stuck with this show, which means you guys are stuck with me and my recaps...

[krillin-fanfic]

It Started With A Kiss

Cliche title? Hell yeah, and I don’t even care! I managed to get a GOOD entry out in about an hour before bed, so I’m hype!  Prompts for today were Music/A Kiss, I opted for the latter. I wanted to once again go back to one of their most iconic moments, and examine how and why they were drawn together within the confines of the series itself. It’s basically a meta post disguised as a fic, but I do hope you all enjoy it.

It had started with a whim. He'd been such an amusing sight, the little man. Legs shaking, visibly terrified, demanding to know their goals. She'd thought him a fool at first; he'd witnessed them take down his friends moments before, several of them far, far stronger than he. Was he honestly going to dare to challenge them? It really hadn't seemed worth her time to even entertain the notion, perhaps her brother would deal with it. But then, something she hadn't expected. “I'm begging you, don't. Don't do this. Gero is dead, you don't have to listen to him anymore. Please...” Stunned wasn't quite the feeling, but she was taken aback. This one wasn't as bullheaded as his peers, it seemed. Not so devoted to proving his manhood, unlike Vegeta or the others, or even her own dear brother. It was a nice trait to see. It was refreshing. Perhaps, she allowed, even a bit sweet. Her next actions had been on impulse, but she felt compelled to do it. Perhaps as a teasing reward, perhaps just to reassure him his life wasn't in danger, if only to stop his knees from knocking. But without a second thought, she'd walked up to him, leaned down, and pecked him on the cheek. She could feel him freeze, almost instantly, his face a look of pure shock. She smiled and offered him a goodbye, before taking off with her brother, presumably never to see the silly little man again. And for some reason she couldn't quite identify... the thought made her the slightest bit sad.

When next she had seen him, he quite literally held her life in his hands. The monster had taken her brother. Her only friend was nearly destroyed, his systems barely functional. Now she was forced to become a mere spectator, watching as the man she hated most in the world was inexplicably their greatest chance of survival. And then, from nowhere, the little man had stepped forward, holding a remote. The remote. Gero's shutdown controller.  How? Where? Who could have made it? In that moment, she herself knew what it was to be afraid. To see that now he held her life in his hands. The tables were turned, the irony noted. She wasn't a fool; she was aware of what his plan most likely had to be. She would be shut down, her life ended. The monster would be denied its goal, his friend would live. He had every reason to do it. And yet... he hesitated. He stood, feet planted firmly on the ground just looking at her.  Was he teasing her? Was this to repay her for what she and her brother had done to him and his friends? Could what had seemed a harmless gesture be coming back to bite her now? No. He was trembling again, she noted. Gripping the controller tightly, breathing heavily. And then, suddenly, he stopped. The controller fell from his hands and clattered onto the ground between them. He  muttered something under his breath, some sort of apology, raised the foot... and brought it down full force on the device, crushing it beyond repair instantly. To say she was shaken would be an understatement. She'd demanded answers; why, why on earth would he have done such a thing? Why would he have thrown away a guaranteed victory now? He'd offered no answer, merely offered his hand to her, to help her run, hide, to keep her safe from that creature for as long as she needed. She hesitated only a moment, noting a seriousness in his face. There was only honesty there; no ulterior motives. And so, for a short time, they ran. Or tried,before the world went white. Everything happened so fast after that. She was aware of pain, being slammed to the ground. She was vaguely aware of a struggle, of that strange little man's cries, his attempts to fight that monster as she was enveloped in slime and muscle and a sharp pain... And then, darkness.

She awoke on a floating fortress, a tiny slug boy standing over her, declaring her healed. The larger slug man, Piccolo, had told her of the short man's actions, how he'd objected to her destruction at Vegeta's hands, how he'd kept her safe, watched over her well-being the entire time, putting her safety above even his own. And she... had assumed the worst. “You like her!” the son of Goku, had said, and that had been all the answer she'd thought she needed. She berated him for being fool enough, pig-headed enough to assume she would fall for him if he so much as helped her, as if she were some damsel in a fairy tale, and had fully intended to take her leave. When the midday sky turned to black, however, and the giant dragon appeared in the sky above, she had decided that may merit further investigation. And there she had learned the truth; the man hadn't ever once assumed her to be his. He'd helped her and her brother fully of mind that he would never have had a chance with her, awkward assumption her brother had been her boyfriend notwithstanding. At the time, she entered into brief denial; he knew she was there when he wished that. He had to have known, and she'd told him so to his face. There was no way she could have misjudged him so badly, Was there?

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she'd last seen him on that Lookout. And now she and her brother stood in front of him once again. He'd had answers she needed, and she would have them. The monster had spit her out, he said. Just some sort of misfire. She had felt the change herself, like a shift in a dream, but to learn the scale or the battle that had occurred shocked her. Perhaps even more shocking, however, was learning that same small man who had held her life in his hands twice, whom she had assumed had only helped her for his own gain... he had helped 16. Her only friend. He'd done the same for him as he'd done for her; he defended 16 from a friend who had deemed him not worth keeping alive. He took him to the foremost robotics expert in the world, the one with the best chance of fixing him, and even removed the prime directive that ran so contrary to 16's nature. He told them with affection of 16's sacrifice, how he'd been so willing to give his life in order to save them all and the animals he'd loved so much. He told them how their friend had been the key to pushing Gohan to be capable of finally ending the monster who'd taken them. A part of her had felt a great sense of pride in that; despite being a machine, 16 had shown far more 'humanity' than an actual human monster like Gero had ever possessed. When he offered them a place to stay, her brother had declined. Something about finding a nice cabin in the woods, wanting time to reflect and be alone, adjust to this new chance at life. She had almost agreed. Almost. There was something in the little man's dark eyes that had felt...warm. Calming. Like there was more he could teach her, more answers that she sought. She accepted his offer. And, as she walked to the door and prepared to start her new life, she stopped next to him, leaned down, and gently kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

[dragon-ball-meta]

I left a comment in there but I’ll just repost my rather easy rebuttal here for your convenience. Okay, here we go: 15. Goku allowed Vegeta to think he was matched with him in hopes he would give up his psychotic obsession with catching up to or surpassing him. The very obessesion that landed them in that fight in the first place. 14: Vegeta was the one who wanted to face the Androids to the point of threatening to kill anyone who'd try to prevent their arrival. Goku wanted to fight them, yes, but he also didn't believe it would be right to hunt down and kill Gero if he hadn't necessarily done anything wrong yet. 13: This is already patently ridiculous. Vegeta allowed himself to fall under Babidi's influence, yes, but WILLINGLY. He CHOSE to do this. And anything Babidi tried to order him to do, Vegeta ignored it, full stop. He was not being "controlled" by Babidi. Goku also made this choice as Vegeta was threatening to kill even MORE people, and said he wouldn't stop until Goku agreed to fight him. Another detail you've intentionally left out. 12. If you think ribbing a friend over something you know they're self-conscious (and in denial) about is being a jerk... I guess everyone with a friend is a jerk. There's also a rather obvious stated reason Bulma came to mind, but we're not gonna discuss that now. You're looking way too hard into a comedic scene to try to score points. 11: You're... you're literally blaming Goku for something a Fused being did. By that logic, Vegeta deserves just as much blame, but I don't see you handing that out. That aside, even as a kid Goku never "toyed with his kills". 90% of them weren't even intentional kills, was mostly an enemy's own machinations coming back to bite them. Plus, Vegetto deliberately taunted Buu to encourage him to absorb him so that he could, hopefully, free the others and end him without killing them as well. 10: The entire point of Goku NOT ending Buu, if it would even be possible all things considered, is that this is NOT his fight anymore. Goku had opted to stay gone for the sake of his home and his friends and family. He figured staying gone meant less danger, and thusly, he felt that he HAD to push and encourage the others to step up. With him gone, they can't always rely on him being there to help. Hell, he couldn't even have been there when Babidi came had Baba not used her 24 hour fighter selection to have him compete in her name. That's not something they can come to rely on at that point. 9: ...are you... are you seriously blaming him for the actions of someone else? Holy crap, you are literally blaming him for Zamasu being a genocidal douchebag. And ffs that's not even what happened. Goku DID fight Zamasu in his timeline, and no, he did not "know full well" what happened. Black IS the Zamasu from his timeline, and his visit there with Beerus was to investigate the fact that Black was wearing a time ring. The fight was encouraged as part of the investigation as it's how they learned Black was indeed Zamasu. 8: ...they're rivals. They compete off each other. The heck are you even talking about? Vegeta rubbed it in Goku's face when he got the edge for a bit too. 7: Goku came back to visit regularly, and his sons were grown. They were not children. And you're taking GT into account, which isn't even remotely canon. Why? 6: So now he's a jerk because he DIDN'T make a selfish call? You think he SHOULD have left Mr. Satan and DENDE, who you're also conveniently leaving out, to die? 5: HE. HAS. A. JOB. HE. SUPPORTS. HIS. FAMILY. AND. MAKES. SURE. THEY. HAVE. MONEY. ABOVE. EVEN. GOING. TO. TRAIN. 4: So skip saying your goodbyes knowing you're likely gonna die in exchange for MAYBE being able to grab four other people and teleport elsewhere? Man, this is a reach and even YOU know it. 3: You're kidding, right? Right? Raditz was psychotic and trying to murder his son. Goku DID give him a second shot and he literally, immediately turned on him and tried to kill him again. Piccolo was spared both because Goku could sense he wasn't as evil as his predecessor and because he wanted to face him again. Vegeta was spared at Goku's request, which even Goku knew at the time was selfish, but he wanted to have a chance to face him again someday That aside: why is Krillin lumped in with the likes of Piccolo and Vegeta? Or even the Androids? The Androids never actually did anything overtly evil, and Krillin was just a bratty kid who played tricks on Goku. Why are you lumping him in as a villain? You really didn't watch this series before making this list, did you? 2: He also did it as a psychological tool and so that Gohan would take this fight seriously. Gohan abhors fighting as it is, but he would even more so beating up on a tired opponent. Even as it was, he was flat out refusing to actually get angry enough to fight. 1: Those universes were going to be destroyed regardless. Goku bought ONE of them a chance to survive. Been stated three times already. WATCH. THE. SHOW. BEFORE. WRITING. THIS. KIND. OF. CRAP.

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x22 recap

(Aka the one where they stop Phase 2 and Jeller finally get their act together)

Delayed by long work hours, an interstate trip for a traditional Indian engagement ceremony (which was AWESOME), and not in the least by my complete inability to deal with any of this episode at all ever.

There is so much screaming ahead, oh my god.

Alright kids, buckle up. This is gonna be a long ride.

Aaand we're back with Weller and Keaton in the Doomsday bunker, and you just know it's gotta be the end of the world when these two are willingly teaming up. As much as I still hate what Keaton did (like really, really hate it), I have to say I really enjoy his and Weller's dynamic as reluctant partners. I also enjoy that Weller is waaay taller than Keaton, and that he's the more dominant one in the pair, with Keaton totally following along like a lil sidekick. Damn straight, son. Know your place, which-- except for this brief excursion-- is in the trash. And okay tbh I would have actually been a little bit intrigued to see what the ‘New America’ would have been like with the COGS in command? I mean it’s not like the current governing body is doing a particularly stellar job.... plus I always really liked Julia Chang and Agent Valentine... and we all know Weller is a great leader. Too bad he and Keaton couldn't have included those two ladies in their little escape plan tho, that would have been a badass team. But obviously we have no idea who is Sandstorm here and who isn't. It's interesting that Weller chose to trust Keaton-- like could he really be sure Keaton wasn't one of them? Though I guess Keaton nearly lost a daughter through his involvement with one of the tattoos, so that makes him being Sandstorm fairly unlikely. And he had Jane for months, so surely he would have just taken her to Shepherd. Anyway lol I love that Keaton practically has to run to keep up with Weller's long, determined strides. And when Keaton is slowing him down with questions etc, Weller’s all like SHUT UP AND MOVE, I GOTTA GET BACK TO MY TEAM. And ugh Keaton, bless you you little jerk: "Your team, or Jane?" Um, why not both?? He can care about both. But lbr mostly Jane tho. But omg I love Weller's 'excuse u??' face as Keaton is calling him out on basically not trusting anyone-- except for Jane, despite everything that’s happened. Uhhh, it's because he looooves her, idiot. And he's kinda sorta almost sure she loves him too. Maybe. Hopefully. Which is all the more reason to get back to her so he can find out. And lol he just shuts down the conversation and continues looking for a phone and Keaton just like rolls his eyes and follows haha. Oh Keaton, you’re a pile of trash but you’re our pile of trash 

Ughhhhhhh now Jane is wandering in Weller's office, leaving him yet another in what is obviously a string of voicemails. Like I wonder when she started calling? I assume this is in the morning after the attacks, so he's probably been gone a max of like ten to twelve hours so far. Like I wonder if she called him sometime last night-- maybe she couldn't sleep and just wanted to hear his voice?? But she couldn't get through-- presumably bc he was on a plane or in a meeting or something-- so she just called a couple of times just to listen to his voice on the voicemail message. And eventually she drifts off to sleep, expecting to wake to a message from him-- except there's nothing, and so she calls again, the worry starting to set in. And now here she is, leaving another message, admitting that she's worried about him. It's only been a matter of hours since they were together but already it's so hard for her to be separated from him. And then ugh she's standing over his desk, staring at it like she’s trying to make him appear behind it, when ooooh the new director appears. Tbh I like her instantly-- that soft Southern accent, her genuine consideration of Jane's wellbeing, her tininess but clear boss-attitude... I feel like she’s going to be good for the team. And then ugh Jane immediately asks her about Weller and ughhhh my baby is so worrieddddd about her maaannnn. And then omg Hirst acknowledges that Nas' deal made Jane practically a prisoner-- so glad to hear someone other than Roman pointing this out! And aww she offers her her freedom, and the ability to go anywhere in the world-- and so where does Jane's mind immediately go with those words? To her dream of her future life with Kurt, together and happy, of course. Good lord, Gero, how did you just hit me so hard with literally like two seconds of footage?? And then ugh "I'm a part of this team". I want to cry because it’s so true; Jane belongs here, and she knows it. Bc lbr, Nas' deal might have made her a prisoner of sorts, but this is Jane. If Jane wanted to go, she could have escaped. Jane CHOSE to be right where she is. I do love Hirst's concern though; she sees Jane as a person who deserves to choose her own path, telling her that she needs to ask herself what she truly wants. And oooohhh yeahhhhh you just know that this is going to be a big theme of the episode, with Jane knowing what her instinctive answer is but not knowing if she can actually have it....

Lol at the little tech coming up to talk to Big Boss Patterson-- who is like an old, battle-weary sergeant now, the kind who walks with a limp and stares off into space puffing a cigar as they make vague, trailing statements about 'back before the war...'. But anyhow, the tech tells her about the explosives testing, and Patterson guesses correctly what was used and is all "I know my plastic explosives" and blows the tech's mind a lil bit. God, all of her staff must have such a crush on her. Except maybe Stuart, who is too busy being terrified. Poor boy. And then Jane comes to her and offers to help, but Patterson shuts her down a little bit, grimly telling her it's already over-- but then she sees Jane's face and shakes herself out of it, because Jane doesn't deserve her jagged edges right now. Jane has gone through every step of this right there beside her, going through the same hell she has. And ugh I love the way she softens and apologises and then Jane reaches out to her about whether she would leave or stay, given the choice-- and ughhh I can’t deal with the way Jane is looking at her, like she's desperately hoping to hear that she should stay, that she's wanted, that Patterson knows the team would hate to see her leave-- but instead Patterson just tells her she deserves to do what she wants. Which is also true, but also carefully on the fence, without nudging her one way or the other. And then ughhhhhh  “What if this is what I want?”, because it is. She may have ended up here through means outside her control, but this is home. This is where she has a purpose, where she has a family. Where she belongs. But Patterson challenges her on it, and she's kinda right; Jane doesn't know anything else. And I think Patterson would hate it if Jane were to stay-- to give up all other possibilities of a happy life-- purely because this was comfortable or she was scared or felt obligated to stay. And on one hand I'm surprised by Patterson's blunt attitude, and the way it seems like she's pushing Jane to go-- but she just wants her to be SURE. She wants her to fully think things through, to know that their little team-- their little world-- may not always stay the same forever. Reade may soon be gone, and Weller does have a baby on the way, one that he might decide he wants to be closer to, now that their battle with Sandstorm is over. Plus they have no idea what direction Hirst will take the team in. And ughhhh I just want to hug Jane, because she was hoping for reassurance and instead only feels more lost, especially at the thought of Weller leaving. Oh, honey. Just because Patterson MIGHT turn out to be right doesn't mean you should give up on the things you want... And ugh Patterson herself looks dejected and so tired and ugh my babies let me wrap you up in blankets and cuddle you foreverrrrr

I find it hilarious that Weller and Keaton have been able to just wander freely around this top-secret bunker without any army dudes trying to stop them. Tbh I thought they'd be a little more supervised? And they find an old rotary-dial telephone (man I remember using one of those) and a large transmitter thingie which Keaton conveniently knows how to use. Handy. Good work letting him tag along, Weller. And then of course he immediately calls Patterson, who kinda wastes a little time by being confused by the area code-- this is not the time, girl! Also lol good thing she's not like me, and actually answers her phone for unknown numbers. But then aaahhh he's telling her that Phase 2 isn't over and then BAM Keaton nearly gets shot in the head. Excuse you, beardy guy, but no one is allowed to hurt our Keaton but us! And then ugh New Beardy is Sandstorm (sigh, of course, I mean he’s literally directly from their mold) and is about to execute them both when Keaton distracts him just enough for Weller to throw the phone at his head. God I love watching Weller throw things at people. Also lol good thing the cord was long enough to reach... And oooh now it's two-on-one and I'm actually really enjoying watching Keaton and Weller fight together. Just for today, they are 100% on the same team and they will have each other's backs. Also I find it ironic that Weller saves Keaton from being choked to death? Ah, how things change... (Doesn't mean he wouldn't still let his wifey beat the crap out of you though, Keaton). And well, at least now they have a keycard to escape with? Literally though I have so many questions about what's going to happen once they're outside. Like, isn't this some deserted mountain fortress that Weller had to fly to get to? Won't they be surrounded by army dudes?? But no matter, bc no force in the world could stop Weller from getting back to Jane. Ain't no mountain high, ain’t no valley low...      

Awwww Reade is still in his bloody clothes-- he's sat by Zapata's bed all night. My baaabies. And ugh the moment she wakes she's like “Did we get Shepherd?/This isn't over" and tbh idk how she knows (gut feeling?) but she's right. And I so wish we got to see her response when Reade got the call from Patterson, telling him what Weller said? And ugh now the team-- or what's left of it, just the three of them-- is in the bullpen, desperately trying to figure out what's about to happen. And ugh Jane immediately wants to find and rescue Weller, but surprisingly it's Reade who steps up (trying to do Dad proud, lbr) and says they'll focus on Sandstorm instead, just as Weller would want. And ugh together they realise that yesterday's bombings prompted a huge security meeting today a the White House, where many government bigwigs will be attending-- just like they do after every major attack. The perfect way to wipe out the whole government is by getting them all in the same room. And then ugh again Reade takes it on himself to be fill-in Weller, giving the orders and going to brief Hirst. Makes sense, given that Patterson is far too important and busy to play messenger haha, and Jane doesn't quite have the FBI cred yet. And ugh good thing the two ladies are left to work together bc they figure out that the explosives Sandstorm used are also rocket fuel, and luckily they know just the person to question about it. It's a good throwback to the last Rich episode, bringing back the Riley guy that we have already known is linked to Sandstorm. And the team is intimidating the shit out of him in the conference room, working hard to break him, when suddenly the SIOC elevators open, and Weller and Keaton step out, fresh from their great escape. Man, I so wish we got to see the particulars of that adventure. I bet it was badass. Or maybe it involved just a bit of badass action as they stole an army jeep, but then got kind of embarrassingly dull as they had to roadtrip together in silence back to NYC. Ah, the awkwardness. But anyhow Jane immediately sees Weller-- lbr, she's been keeping half an eye on that elevator all day-- and ugh I can’t deal with the way she says his name, initially in disbelief, then more loudly as she realises she's not seeing things, that he's really there. And ughhhhhhh kill me now because she legit runs across the bullpen, breath escaping in a relieved little laugh, and literally throws her arms around his neck and holds onto him tightly and ughhh he never got any of her messages so it's almost a surprise to him that she's so relieved to see him, and ughhh since their kiss last night it's like one more wall has crumbled from between them-- I mean, before that kiss she wouldn't have dared to be so open in leaving him worried messages or throwing herself into his arms in the middle of the bullpen but now this is how they are, this is them, (lol Patterson and Reade must be like 'well this is new... but not at all surprising' haha) and ugh he holds her close and they rock a little (rude) and ughhh the little puppy-whimper noise she lets out just kills me. And the way she shakes her head a little to clear it, like she's trying to steady herself, and her "I thought you were..." and ughhhh it kills me so much that she would have had to acknowledge the possibility that he was dead, that getting the message out to them had cost him his life, and she would never see him again... and ugh he assures them (her) that he's alright and gets straight to business. I love that when he calls Keaton over (who, lbr, was probably standing over there shaking his head like 'be more in love with each other I dare you'), Jane is all 'wtf??' and I kinda love that she literally didn't even notice that one of her arch-nemeses was only a few yards away bc til now she had been able to see nothing but Weller. And ugh I wish we got to see Weller's face here, because her eyes barely leave his even as Keaton approaches and ugh I bet he gives her this apologetic look and little nod and it's enough for her; she will always hate Keaton but she trusts Kurt, trusts that he wouldn't ever bring someone like him near her unless it was unavoidable, and ugh our babies are reunited and that’s all that mattersssss 

So the team heads back to the lab, joined by their new members-- that cool aunt who is all ladylike and lovely on the surface but will literally beat someone's ass into the dirt and dispose of the body if they dared lay a finger on you, and that awkward cousin who has always been kind of an asshole in order to cover up his insecurities, but has grown up a bit and now is actually trying to be less of a shitbag-- and their focus turns to the last remaining pieces of the puzzle: the still-unused guidance chip, and Shepherd herself. Jane mentions that Shepherd was in Thailand the week before, putting Keaton in the spotlight when he explains that the CIA picked up intel on nuclear material being stolen-- leading to a little squabble between the kids until Aunty Hirst steps in and puts her probably-cowboy-booted foot down. Weller pairs Reade with Keaton, which isn't exactly a deliberate punishment on Reade but hey, two birds one stone. Patterson is tasked to keep finding info to use on Riley. Jane doesn't get given a specific job, but turns and leaves when all the others do-- I guess she assumed Weller would be heading out as well? I'm just surprised she didn't wait for him, tbh. Though maybe Keaton's presence just has her on edge. More likely tho, it was just a choice by the show’s director to have Jane conveniently out of the room for the upcoming conversation. Weller's so cute, literally checking that everyone is gone before asking Patterson about Hirst. And ugh bless my baby's heart, she gives a concise assessment of Hirst (’maverick’ is an interesting choice of term; you wouldn't think someone would get to her level by playing outside the rules) and then tells Weller that she's going to release Jane. And oooohh my boy gets his crinkly face on because ??Wifey is leaving??? Does not compute??? And ugh the stunned look on his face and the disbelieving 'why??' just kill me because he's literally reeling from this news, unable to even process how it could be happening when they had just finally found their way back to each other and ugh he must be wondering if it was the kiss, aka him, that somehow sparked her decision and ugh my poor boy is so distressed-- and then Patterson is all 'well yeah I kinda told her to go' and ooooh big bro is NOT PLEASED. How dare his little sis do this?? But ugh she calls him Kurt (literally has she ever called him that before?? Bc if she has I don't remember) and oooohhh she drops the truth bomb on him that Jane didn't choose this life (I think he forgets that sometimes? Like to him Jane is just such an intrinsic part of the team and what they do, that he forgets that she came to them through less-than-voluntary circumstances), and she suggests if he's got something to say to Jane he should do it now, allowing her to make her decision with all the facts. OOOOHHHH, TEN MILLION POINTS TO PATTERSON. This kind of forceful Jeller-encouragement almost makes up for all the Jeller-interrupting she's done in the past year haha. Almost. Now go on Weller, listen to your lil sis.... 

Aww poor Zapata is not having an easy time sitting on the sidelines. I feel you, girl. And then she realises from Reade's tone on the phone that something else is going on, and she'll be damned if she's not going to be there with her team for it. Also lol she rips out her drip and somehow it doesn’t bleed at all. Mmm-hmmm, sure. I see no flaws in this whatsoever. But god, the local hospitals really must dread having these guys as patients, because they literally never do what they're told haha

Oh, so this is why Weller didn't give Jane a task like the others. They both already knew that they would be going in to finish interrogating Riley together. Jane was probably already waiting outside the interview room for him when he showed up, wondering what had delayed him in the lab and why he looked somewhat shaken all of a sudden. And of course she would have asked him if everything was alright, instantly knowing by just the tone of his reply that it wasn't but that they wouldn't be able to broach it until after this mission was done. Luckily Patterson has discovered that Riley's sister lives close enough to DC to be endangered by a nuclear attack, allowing them to get the truth out of him-- he launched a satellite for Shepherd. And well this seems like a big deal, especially considering Patterson literally sprints from her lab to confront Riley-- and oh the satellite will launch a glider that will head straight to DC. He thought it would just hit the white house, but instead it'll be aimed at the nuclear material, making things about a million times worse. The attack would wipe out the whole eastern seaboard, which would be very, very bad. Hold on, that also means that it will kill both Shepherd and Roman as well?? I mean, they're right there in DC with the truck, so unless they have a private jet, surely they don't have time to get to a safe distance? Lol I love when the team finds Zapata in the bullpen and she's all 'wait, there’s nukes??' and the boys are all YOU SHOULD BE IN HOSPITAL because they're Expert-Level Hypocrites haha. God I love her sass 'you two done mothering me?' and Weller's faaaace-- the poor man has been spoiled by Reade and Keaton's obedience today and keeps forgetting that he has zero control over his ladies haha. Also speaking of Keaton, he is SUPER quick to offer to brief Zapata, and ugh I love how annoyed and disgusted she is to see him there. Glad Jane has someone on her side with this haha. And then Keaton's all 'I used to fly jets/ oh the domestic drone program is upstairs' and ugh she is so done with him already and it's been like ten seconds. I love her. And he seems to just like her more for it, and oh buddy, you don't stand a chance. Just give up now (also aren’t you married??). Then in retaliation for her bad behaviour, Weller partners them while the others try to hide their smirks. Keaton is naturally pleased, while you can literally almost feel Zapata's eyes rolling lol. Clearly ready to be out of there, Weller all but grabs Jane and heads to the elevator to catch their plane-- I mean, they're the best partnership the FBI has, and if they fail, at least they die together--  completely cutting Patterson off when she suggests saying their goodbyes. Come on, Patterson, you know big bro doesn't deal with either emotions or the prospect of failure well. Still, I bet Jane totally looked back and gave them all a sad little wave before following him, because while she's ready to die beside him, she hates the thought of leaving her team-- her family-- behind ugh 

Ughhh Zapata and Keaton scanning DC with drones looking for the nuclear stuff is so funny-- he tries to mansplain it to her and she's all ‘YEP FULLY AWARE THANKS’ and ugh she calls him Jake which is kinda funny, since being part of the 'team' means getting called by your last name (Jane is a special case because everyone knew her last name would be Weller too one day) and so it's like she's deliberately degrading him a little and reminding him he's not one of the club. And ugh he persists (bc of course he does) and asks how she's doing and tells her he admires her and asks her to work for the CIA and ooooohhhhh buddy. Don't you know your predecssor tried this same thing, and ended up dead a short time later? In an unrelated incident, but still. Asking her to go over to the CIA is like asking a die-hard sports fan to convert to their arch-rival team. Not gonna happen. She'll be carrying that FBI badge til the day she dies, bucko. (Which will hopefully be man, many years in the future btw)

Aaaahhh the plane. Jeller on a plane. I'm having very pleasant flashbacks of hearteyes and handholding rn, so I’m crossing my fingers for more of the same. Poor Jane, though; she clearly still does not like planes at all. She looks so uncomfortable haha. And Weller does too, but for a completely different reason: "Patterson told me that you're thinking of leaving". And oh my godddddd this conversation is killing me because they're both idiots who are operating completely on assumptions; like Weller is trying to be a good guy and support her right to live life how she chooses, because he already believes she'll leave-- bc why stay with damaged goods like him when she now has the whole world at her feet?-- and she thinks his encouragement is because he believes she should go, and ugh she puts out feelers, trying to gauge his mindset, talking about maybe California and then asking him about Colorado, and ugh she encourages him to take a spot in Denver because she wants him to be happy and ughhhhh you idiots, just SAY WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL, WHICH IS THAT YOU BOTH WANT TO STAY BY EACH OTHER'S SIDE FOREVER AND EVER AND NEVER LEAVE EACH OTHER EVER. (Also known as marriage. Just put a damn ring on it already jfc). But ugh instead there's this soft little moment where they acknowledge that they're both allowed to be happy, and again you dumb children each keep assuming that the other means going their separate ways but actually literally means the exact opposite. GAWD STOP TRYING TO SPEAK IN SUBTEXT AND JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. AND THEN GET SOME MILE-HIGH JELLER LOVIN' HAPPENING LIKE LITERALLY YOU'RE ON A LUXURY JET ALONE WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND IT MIGHT LITERALLY BE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH LIKE WHY ARE YOU WASTING THIS OPPORTUNITY I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Thankfully, I have Patterson and her sass (dissing Riley) to make me feel better haha. And then the NASA people arrive and she's all 'hey I know barely anything about this but'-- *poses incredible, literally-out-of-this-world theory and is met with well deserved awe and admiration* haha. Also lol Eileen "Oh that is not to scale" hahahahaaa. I love having Reade and Hirst represent the viewers who are all sitting here like me going 'yes.. spaceships will save them. Mmm-hmmm I totally understand everything that is happening right now. Spaceships.' lol. And speaking of genius ladies, Zapata realises that Shepherd has hidden the nuclear stuff in something lead-lined (just watch Keaton's crush growing ever larger lol), leading to her finding Shepherd's location and giving it to Weller and Jane, who are now firmly on the ground, right in the danger zone. Man, I wish we got to see more of that car ride from the airport. I know Weller is very anti-goodbyes rn, but I feel like Jane would have wanted to say something? Though then again she's probably decided she'll hold it in right until she's sure they're done for, then confess everything to him. Meanwhile he's probably thinking the same, because they are a pair of idiots who like to torment me with their inability to use words properly when it comes to literally any emotion that’s not anger

So Shepherd and Roman are hanging in the truck, then she sends him to kill a couple of cops who are likely just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Well, this is certainly reminding me of this season's premiere. Also I totally bet Roman is wearing gloves because of Luke's injury. Seriously tho dude you can't walk towards cops with a knife in your hand and not expect to get shot??? (Oh wait, that's right, you're white. Nvm.)

Meanwhile the supergeniuses in the bullpen have hit a rather apocalyptic snag-- the launch sequence for the glider has already started, and there's no way to hack it in time. Well, shit. Patterson yet again comes up with an idea, suggesting using the mini spaceship to push against the satellite and stop if from getting to its firing location, giving them more time. Good on you, lil Patterson-spaceship. Good luck against Shaquille O'Neal haha. 

Aarghhh Weller and Jane and their band of merry men have caught up to Shepherd, and ohhh this makes me nervous. Aaaand yep, a bunch of Sandstorm dudes just came out of nowhere, taking out pretty much everyone but Weller and Jane before being taken down themselves. So now it's very much a family affair; daughter and son-in-law vs mother and brother. And ugh have I mentioned lately how much I love how in sync these two are?? The way they move, the way they communicate-- they really are the FBI elite. And then surprise, a wild Shepherd appears, giving us another Jane/Shepherd showdown-- which lbr Shepherd was def about to win before Jane's hubby showed up and shot her haha. Ah, this gives me such satisfaction. So on one hand, yay, they've got Shepherd-- but on the other, everything has just gone to hell anyway because the glider just launched, giving them thirty minutes until impact and no way to hack it. It's headed for a homing beacon, and I love that when Weller comes up with the idea cloning it and sending it after a fake one, Patterson's already in the middle of doing just that haha. Jane's convinced that Shepherd has the beacon, and Weller pats her down for like three seconds before being like 'I can't find it' haha. I'm so surprised by that Weller, I mean you were so thorough?? Anyway Keaton and Zapata find a railroad tunnel that they could get the truck to which would prevent a lot of the effect of the blast-- but even if they get it there, they won't make it back. And ughhhhh the heavy silence in the bullpen and the way Jane and Weller are staring at each other... this is too much. I can't deal. And then Weller tells Jane to stay, that he'll take the truck, and ughhhh her voice is all thick as she fiercely tells him that she's not letting him go alone and ughhhhh she would rather die by his side than live without him, and he would rather die alone so that she could live. Either way, I'm already dead because these two have killed me. Goodbye, world. And then ughhhh Patterson has tears in her eyes as she tells them they both have to go. They have to find the homing beacon and destroy it, while also getting the truck as far away as possible. They accept that like champs, because this thing is far bigger than just their own lives. So Weller has Jane drive, saving her from having to deal with Shepherd, while Patterson reprograms an app and sends it to him to use as a bug-sweeper. Man, she is amazeballs. Remember how screwed this team (and the world) would be without her? Also Keaton and Zapata have rejoined the rest in the bullpen, and ugh what an intense situation to be in, all of them there, just (for the most part) watching helplessly as the seconds tick down to Armageddon. I think some of the randoms in the back are on the phone and I totally identify with that. Personally I'd be on the phone to my mum lol

Speaking of moms, Shepherd is waxing poetic over Weller, talking about how great he is, and ummmm lady it's weird to have a crush on your son-in-law. And then he realises that Shepherd swallowed the beacon, and literally whips out a knife-- but hold up, son, what’re you doing? Like yes, you could actually cut her open and try to fish it out. I mean, circumstances ARE dire, but still... and also you know how much gastrointestinal tract there is?? If she swallowed it hours ago it would be well into her intestines by now, and trust me, that junk ain't easy to fish around in. But that's about to become a moot point, because Jane and Roman are playing the world's most intense game of chicken, and dear lord what even is this. Like he knows that he is in a car, right? One that's a hell of a lot smaller than a freakin' reinforced truck?? And ughhh she saw him there in the driver’s seat. She knew it was him, and did it anyway, because she had to. She couldn't let her love for her brother cost so many lives. Too bad the impact knocked her out. And ugh poor Patterson dials back in (since their comms had been off coz they messed with the bug-sweeper) only to hear Weller groaning out Jane's name, clearly injured. God, it would be awful being in that bullpen right now, so completely unable to help. And ugh Weller pulls a shard of metal out of his leg, and dammit son do you not remember ANY first aid skills?? Leave it in, you idiot! I mean it's too far to the outer side to have hit the femoral artery or vein, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other very bleedy vessels in there just waiting to spurt all over the place. Gah. And ugh both Zapata and Patterson are in tears as they tell him he has to get up and keep looking bc they only have two minutes until the glider hits the point of no return. Damn, that half hour went fast. And ugh he tells them that Shepherd swallowed it and they all look so stunned and desolate, like they're out of options. But Weller has one more idea, and it's a shocking one. (Yes, I did just wink at my screen just then. You’re being winked at. Jsyk.). Meanwhile Jane regains consciousness and immediately calls Weller's name, and ugh never mind about the nuclear bomb, these two are definitely going to be the death of me first. She's trying to get to him when Roman attacks her-- damn, son, are your bones made of admantium or something?? And now it's two epic showdowns-- brother versus sister, and Weller + defibrillator versus Shepherd + beacon. And for a second I'm actually legitimately stunned bc I think Weller must know that his plan will very possibly kill him too-- after all, they're both kneeling on the same metal surface, which WILL CONDUCT ELECTRICITY-- but wait nope apparently this is TV science and therefore Weller is unaffected haha. Mmmkay. It doesn't work anyway, and ugh my baby Patterson can barely speak through her tears as she tells him so. He tries again, partly bc what other option does he have, and partly bc he just wanted to hurt Shepherd for doing this to them all, and this time it works, with the decoy beacon taking over right at the last moment and sending the glider harmlessly into the ocean. And ugh the celebration in the bullpen is like the most adorable thing ever-- honestly I recommend pausing this scene a few times and looking at everyone's reactions haha. My personal fave is Hirst. And ugh Patterson tells Weller it worked and he tells her she did a ‘nice job’ (understatement of the year haha) and ughhhhh this lil familyyyyyyyy

Speaking of families though, Jane and Roman are still battling it out, and Jane is absolutely winning, bc of course she is. She was always the stronger one, in every way. And ugh she has her gun on him and he yells at her to do it, to kill him, but she won't, she can't. And Weller hears his shout, instantly realising what's happening, and drags his exhausted and bleeding body up off the floor because he needs to protect Jane. Not necessarily from Roman, but from having to make a choice that would break her. Noble thought, buddy, but I think you'll find standing up is a lot harder than being on the floor. Your body ain't gonna like it. (Mine doesn't even on the best of days haha). And ugh Jane lowers the gun and lets Roman go, because she can't kill him. It's the same as in 2x01 when she could easily have shot Weller, but didn't. She loves them and could never hurt either of them. And ugh Weller tries to jump down from the truck to give chase, but I told you buddy, your body ain't made for the vertical plane right now. So he literally falls at her feet, rapidly losing consciousness (bet you wish you'd left that damn spiky thing in now, huh??) and ugh she's so panicked because she has no idea what happened in there or what his injuries are and she's all 'say something!' and so he uses his last ounce of strength to tell her not to move to California, to stay with him instead... and that he loves her. Literally if he'd died of these wounds, his very last words would have been 'I love you'. Honestly sometimes this ship makes me want to scream. And by ‘sometimes’, I mean ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. And ugh I'm going to ignore the rather unflattering camera shot lol (poor Sully haha) and focus instead on Jane's face, because for a woman who has already been through hell like eighteen different ways, she looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown rn because he loves her and he might be dying and I'm not even sure if she heard what was happening over the comms before or not-- hell it might have been knocked out of her ear during her fight-- and so she might not even know if the attack is still about to happen or not and ugh this is just a lot for my poor precious girl to deal with rn. Though I'm sure she gets her shit together pretty quick and gets Patterson to send an ambulance bc no way is she letting him leave her now, or ever, and lbr she goes with him when they take him, staying by his side with her hand around his-- whispering I love yous into his ear that he'll later think he only dreamed he heard-- right until he's taken into surgery, and only then allowing anyone to patch her up while anxiously waiting for news. Hirst arrives just a little later, allowing Jane to sit at his bedside for a few hours while he sleeps, and while Hirst deals with Shepherd and the nukes and everything else, then she eventually returns to make Jane take the plane back with her so she can give her full statement at the NYO. And even with the threat to her life now over, she sleeps in the cell again, calling the hospital for regular updates overnight, heart thudding painfully when the nurses tell her that he's been muttering her name in his sleep. The next afternoon, she knows when he's been discharged, knows that he'll come straight to the NYO once his flight lands-- and knows that she can't face him. Not there, where so many eyes will be on them, where she'll be forced to hold back how she feels. So she goes to Hirst, who understands, and who tells everyone she needs to go to medical for an assessment. Instead she goes back to the safehouse, sits on the couch, and lets herself cry. Cry about it all finally being over, cry about losing Roman, about almost losing Kurt-- and then finally when she can breathe again she pushes herself up and goes to shower and dress, immediately picking the red blouse, because during that scavenger hunt red had been their colour, the thing that marked them as trusted partners, and she wants him to see it and know that she’s in this, that their fates really are forever intertwined, that he is hers and she is his.

In the meantime, though, Weller arrives back at the NYO, steeling himself as the elevator doors begin to open. He remembers what he said, and he knows Jane heard it-- and possibly everyone on the comms, too. And then ugh the doors open and they're all there cheering for him and for a split second his eyes look for Jane-- hoping to see her right there at the front with the team-- but she's not there and Reade is already approaching him and so he goes with it and hugs his people-- ugh I love the way that each hug is different; Reade's is a congratulatory, dude-you-scored-the-home-run happy kinda hug, Patterson's is a little more tender and sisterly, while Zapata's her usual sarcastic-but-secretly-softhearted self and jokes about not being that worried about him, even though they both know she was. And ugh the happy grin on her face as she grips him tight for a moment is just so sweet. And ugh Weller telling them all how glad he is to see them and ugh he's just so totally their dad. For everyone outside the main team, he's Work-Dad, and ugh he's so proud of his lil secret agents. But even so, he's had a moment to look around now, searching the crowd, looking for one face in particular, and it's not there. He's barely even finished acknowledging all these people-- let alone started on the obligatory big speech-- and he's already asking for her. He may have had reservations before about being too open in his feelings for Jane (FYI, everyone could see it anyway, buddy) but now he literally does not care one bit who knows it. Good old Hirst quickly reassures him that she's fine-- because give him even the slightest indication that something might be wrong and he'll rip those stitches right out as he goes running after her-- and uses the medical excuse (after all, that's what she's been telling everybody), and then gets him back on track with the whole, you know, saving the day thing, and ugh now work-dad is giving his speech and ugh he's so good at it and ughhh even I'm feeling validated on their behalf rn, so I'm so happy for them haha. Also lol I love that little twirly hand gesture thing he does, bc thanks to instagram we now know that's totally a Sully thing and it just makes me giggle okay

Oooooh Shepherd is in the fancy magical MRI lie detector, and ugh again another ridiculously unrealistic needle is being given. Find an actual vein, guys, don't just stab it into the elbow! Sigh. And she's acting all tough with Keaton, bc lbr, he may be a torturer but he's still kinda lame? But then Nas walks in, and Shepherd looks like she's pooping her pants. On one hand I'm excited for the intel they'll get from her and for Nas to finally get her revenge-- but on the other, I still worry about Nas' trustworthiness and what she might do with the knowledge she gains. But I guess we'll see...

Lol Zapata is so cute, bringing Weller the newspaper about Riley's arrest. Yep, being a government agent sure is a thankless job. But then, Weller would never want the limelight anyway. Kinda reminds me of that scene in Kingsman where Colin Firth's office walls are covered in the front pages of newspapers on days where he's prevented some huge disaster, with the lead stories always being something completely inane. I love that Weller's first question is to see how she's going. Ugh, he just cares so much. I also really like that Audrey is having her injured arm hanging limply at her side-- finally, someone on the team actually continuing to look visibly injured! Though I'd prefer her in a sling. And in hospital. But whatevs. And ugh she asks about Roman, because of course she has to know. She's had a thing against him (or for him?? I’m still hopeful lol) from day one. And ugh his words are almost a warning when he tells her to read the report, that Jane didn't have the shot. He's telling her that that's the only answer that there will ever be to that question, that there would be no more arguing or questioning or digging. His loyalty is with Jane, and therefore Roman is off limits. Ughhhhh such a good hubbyyyyy

Meanwhile in the lab, Patterson already has the booze waiting (ugh, again on the touchscren?? How could you??) and there are only three glasses... looks like it's just the Three Amigos tonight. And Reade gets there an ugh they both just look so exhausted and then she's all 'what now' and surprisingly Reade has apparently decided that this is where he belongs-- Quantico is forgotten, and he's already ready to take his next stand with the team. But Patterson isn't, and oh god the way she just crumbles and ughhhhh our baby has been so strong for so long and now she just can't do it anymore. Ugh can she at least just have a holiday? Let them all go to some tropical island and be served drinks by handsome dudes (or in Reade's case, beautiful ladies) and just unwind. And ughhh Reade looks exactly how a loving big brother always does when his little sister cries-- incredibly dismayed and at a loss for what to do. A moment later Zapata appears to back him up, though looks taken aback herself to find out that Patterson-- their indefatigable little genius machine-- is falling apart. And ugh Reade has recovered enough to give a reassuring speech-- "this job takes everything” sounds very reminiscent of S1 Weller's outburst at Sarah-- and ugh who would have thought that Edgar Reade, recent Human Disaster and near-deserter, would be the one holding the team together now?? 'It gives us a way to fight back. It gives us family. It gives us hope.' and ugh if that isn't the heart of this show, I don't know what is. Unless it's Zapata's loving snark: "Is that right, Quantico?" hahaha. She may be sarcastic, but then again she just made Patterson laugh when a minute ago she was near-breakdown. I mean I just love this family so much??? They are just so perfect together and ugh they make a toast to family and I am overwhelmed

Speaking of family, they're now all gathered at Weller’s-- tho he's out on the balcony in a moment that's very reminiscent of 1x01, undoubtedly thinking about Jane, and his confession, and the future, and lots of stuff that is definitely far too heavy for a celebratory get-together, so he pulls himself together and joins the others, who are laughing and relaxed and lounging around his apartment like it's their own. Remember when none of them had ever even been there, and now it seems like they're hanging out there every other week?? FAMILYYYY. And ughhh Patterson looks so much lighter and happier and dude I agree with Weller-- I wanna know what they were laughing about? But alas we'll never know bc all of a sudden Jane appears, letting herself in without knocking bc of course she does, it's practically her apartment now too, and ughhhh look at her excited lil face and the lil wave she does and lbr Weller has literally forgotten the other three even exist bc rn all he sees is her, and he walks toward her with this slightly awed but also questioning look, like he can barely believe she's really there, and then "I didn't think you were coming"-- bc you just know he probably tried to call her or at least send her a message but couldn't get hold of her, so he'd already half-convinced himself that she was already pulling away from them all, or even right at that moment getting ready to head to California, and ugh when she asks to talk to him outside you can just see the apprehension that spreads across his face and for a split second he can’t even force himself to move because he thinks this is it, this is goodbye, and god he can't do it but he knows he has to and so he forces his feet to move, following after her-- but seriously he's so busy freaking out that he doesn't even register the air of nervous excitement that's literally radiating from her or the way she glances back to make sure he's following, or the eager light in her eyes as she turns to him and draws in a deep breath-- and dude, c’mon. This is not the face of someone who is about to drop a rejection and a goodbye in the same sentence. This is the face of someone at the very top of the rollercoaster, who is simultaneously terrified of the drop but also feeling more exhilarated and alive than they ever have before, and who is SO READY to tip over the edge and take the plunge. And then she takes that deep breath and begins "So they told me I could go anywhere..." and omg. She's literally rehearsed this. Jane Doe is using a ~line~ on Kurt Weller. She's literally paused for dramatic effect, letting him imagine all the very far-away places she might choose. And now here it comes: "...But this is where I wanna be." BAM. Damn, girl, I am so proud of you. From the girl who made that super awkward dinner invitation to Oliver however many weeks ago, this was so smooth. And then aaaahhhh the fear on his face just disappears (melted by the sunbeams of PURE LOVE that are shining from his eyes) and he gives the lil Kurt Weller smirky-smirk and then she does the bravest thing she's ever done and tells him she loves him back and ughhhhh just look at these two idiots?? She's already trying to find the words to follow that confession (words? what are words??) and he just gives a little shake of his head-- because she loves him and that's all he's ever needed to hear-- and steps forward and just. CLAIMS HIS WOMAN. And well I guess the background music is pretty damn fitting, given that the main lyric is "I wanna make out with you". Can't get much more accurate than that. Also lol since that song is technically "playing" in his apartment, does that mean he chose it? Did he literally make an entire spotify playlist full of subliminal messages just in case Jane came to the party? Like just imagine if she'd come inside instead of talking to him out in the hall, and then as he hands her a drink he comments very pointedly on really liking this song, that it has good lyrics, and then Jane listens for a second and then stares at him and then they immediately find an excuse to go out on the balcony or to the nursery and maaaake ouuuuttt. But of course this way is much better than that anyway, with the two of them FINALLY ON THE SAME PAGE, grinning at each other and making out in the hallway like a pair of TEENAGERS who have no concept of PEEPHOLES. Because you KNOW that at least one of the others witnessed this whole thing through that little spy-hole-- I mean let's be real, when Jeller walk back into the apartment (trying to play it cool and completely failing haha), literally none of the others are where they were when Jane arrived? Reade is now sitting with his back to the door, wearing his jacket and a ruefully amused expression, Patterson is standing way around the other side of the counter from where she was before, grinning and playing with her fingers like she just can't keep still, and Tasha's standing near her-- tbh my main bet for the one spying on them would be Peeping Patterson, though I can't rule out Zapata joining her at the doorway and giving a sniggering play-by-play for (a thoroughly unwilling) Reade before the two of them scurry back to the kitchen when Jeller are about to head inside. And then speaking of our happy couple, the two of them have literally barely stepped into the apartment (Weller opens the door for her ugh, having to lean in close to her to do so, which is such a little thing but kills me so much) and immediately Reade is all like 'wooop, gotta go, some never aforementioned bro needs help with some unspecified thing' and bails (also ughhh I never noticed the little grin he and Weller share for a split second  right as he passes him?? Ugh someone save me from this familyyyy) and then Zapata's all 'yep, gotta go with him, no possible way for me to get home in NYC except with Reade, nope not at all' and follows him out, and oh my precious supergenius Patterson is just all 'no way am I third-wheeling you two after a year of pent-up UST so I am going to go literally anywhere else' lol and ugh she tells them to have fun and that she'll see them sometime, pretty much implying that she doesn't expect them to emerge from their sex-romp for quite some time and omg I can't even imagine what it's like to be in a situation where your friends literally... uh, what's the opposite of cockblock?... for you? It's awkward but not, and oh god Weller's breathy little 'and... goodbye' and then ugh the stupid little grins they exchange, like I look at her face and I can literally almost hear a Wild-West-era petticoated belle saying 'My, how are we ever going to pass the time?' while batting her eyelashes coyly at the cowboy and he gives his sly heartthrob smile and answers in a low drawl 'I have a few ideas, ma'am' and DON'T ASK ME WHY THIS JUST TURNED INTO SOME WILD WEST HARLEQUIN ROMANCE. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHERE (OR WHEN) MY BRAIN GOES. But regardless, lbr here-- that was pretty much exactly the wordless conversation that was had (okay maybe sans accents), and Jane seems to very much approve of Weller's ideas, which involve a lot of making out and manhandling-- shoving her against a wall and then carrying her to bed and putting her down so delicately ughhhhhhhh-- paired with the enthusiastic removal of clothing haha. And you know what, while I'm in no way a particular supporter of the strobelight sex scene, the more I watch it (errr... for scientific reasons of course), the more I find it cute rather than ridiculous. Plus if you let your eyes go a tiny bit out of focus and don't try to look at any particular thing too closely, and instead just let it like wash over you, it's not that bad at all. I do love the sheer amount of grinning happening all throughout though-- remember how we all thought their first time would be so serious and emotional? Instead they are literally giggling like the idiots they are and I love it. Like can you literally give me an example of two happier people?? Didn’t think so. And ughhhhhh I'm just so happy for themmmm, our babies are finally together where they belongggggggggg aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, so that's a cliff, and that's Jane climbing it... but there's too much hair. Way too much. Takes-months-and-months-to-grow kind of much. Also on one hand this is cool because I recently just got back into rockclimbing myself and I'm like DUDE SHE'S FREECLIMBING A FREAKIN' GIANT CLIFF WITH A BACKWARDS INCLINE and then it's like my excitement literally falls off a cliff of its own as the 'two years later' appears on the screen. God, I don't even know what my face must have looked like in this moment, but I am certainly well aware of my stomach abruptly dropping about five feet. Tbh to me a timejump is possibly the worst non-bad thing that can happen in a show??? Like it's not up there with people being killed off or anything, but... two freakin' years. Two years where anything could have happened, and two years full of events that we may never get to see. In some shows, that wouldn't really matter much. But when that two years includes your OTP's first morning together and subsequent canon-coupleness, losing two years feels like a punch to the gut and a spit in the face all at once. Like two years is pretty much double the span of the entire past two seasons. The only comfort I have right now is that this show does flashbacks so well, and possibly may continue them into S3, giving us little glimpses of Jeller and the team along the way. God, I hope so. Also my other problem with this timejump thing, I’m realising, is that we never got the resolution I was expecting with the whole Allie thing-- honestly, I was expecting her to die before ever having the baby (I know, I’m awful) and now that’s unlikely to be the case, meaning in this new future Weller has a toddler-aged child... and if you thought I was awful a second ago, prepare to think worse of me because I’m actually legitimately upset about it. I went through this whole season believing the pregnancy was either a lie or that it would somehow never eventuate, and I’m not dealing well with the now-inevitability of this child. I feel like this is going to be one of those canon details that just gets erased from my brain, tbh. Where’s that Nick Fury gif about ignoring the council’s stupid-ass decisions? Because that’s literally me rn. But anyhow, back to more important things than non-existent progeny, aka Jane and the cliff. To get to the top she literally has to climb out on an overhang and then up, and good lord this woman is a superhuman. And then she's at the top and I want Kurt to be waiting up there for her but lbr if he was here he would have climbed with her or at least forced her to use ropes and idk how but that climb also felt very much like a ~journey~ and oh this is so worrying. So worrying. And some cute monk lady approaches and tells her there's still longing in her eyes and Jane closes her eyes and looks away and oh no. No no no. Longing implies separation from the things you love. Help me, I am withering inside because whatever happened in those two years, somewhere along the way my babies were torn apart from one another. And Jane says she's climbed this mountain dozens of times-- but why? In search of inner peace? I can tell you right now you're not gonna find it without Kurt by your side, honey-- and ugh the monk lady tells her to go home and YES LISTEN TO HER BC YOU’VE ALREADY CLEARLY BEEN GONE FOR FAR TOO LONG and then "No, I can never go back"--- *insert agonized wails here because I don't have words for this* (Okay maybe I do: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????!???????!!!???!????????!?!!?????????!!!) and then ughhh soon after she's sitting alone in her little tent thing, sketching (how many pictures of Weller are there in that book?? I need to know immediately) and then the girl tells her she has a visitor and IN STEPS KURT WELLER. In a blue shirt, of all things, because of course he is. And wait did he literally just trek up a mountain to find her??? (Somewhere up in heaven, Marvin Gaye looks down approvingly for a second time this episode) And ugh she looks so stunned to see him, like she can't believe he's really there, really real, and for a couple of beats they just stare at each other and it's not clear whether she's terrified of his anger or if they parted on bad terms but then tears shine in his eyes and he drops his bag and she lets out a little whimper and literally throws herself into his arms and ughhhh they're holding each other so tight and he says he can't believe he 'finally' found her and she just holds him and presses her face to his neck and this is most definitely not a pair who parted on bad terms. This is two people who are still completely and utterly in love with one another and have been pulled apart by some external force and ugh this is simultaneously beautiful and awful. And then he gently but firmly pushes her away a little and admits, voice shaking, that he was scared for her-- because of course he was. All the people he's loved most in the world, he's lost (even Sarah and Sawyer moved away). And to be so far from her, to now know where she was or if she was okay... god, it would have near killed him. And she would have known that, which would have near-killed her. And ughhh she apologises over and over and he does that thing he does when he's trying not to cry, where his eyebrows draw together and he looks away and she tells him she can't explain, but why????? Literally what Bad Thing could exist that she couldn't tell the love of her life about??? And then she lowers her eyes, unable to meet his, and suddenly she chokes up even more and she says 'you're still wearing your ring' and I AM SCREAMING. WEDDING RING. ON WELLER'S FINGER. JANE BEING A COMBINATION OF HEARTBROKEN AND RELIEVED THAT HE'S STILL WEARING IT. JELLER ARE MARRIED. I REPEAT, JELLER ARE MARRIED. And ughhhhh he fiddles with it and just says 'yeah' and she looks like she's literally about two seconds from a complete breakdown. Oh god. Sometime in that two years, they literally got married. They planned on spending the whole rest of their lives together. And then SOMEONE (lookin' at you, Gero) forced Jane to leave. Because god knows she would never have left him willingly; only if she thought she had no other choice, and only to protect him. Ugh, I really, really hope they give us a good reason for this and not something that she should have just talked to him about and faced with him. Also uhh I've seen a strangely high number of people concerned that Weller is married to someone else??? Literally that would make zero sense, not only from the character perspective-- what, you think Mr Too-Choosy could somehow fall out of love with his soulmate Jane, meet someone else, and marry them, all within two years? Yeah, not gonna happen, son-- but also from a human-interaction perspective. If Weller somehow did marry someone else, firstly Jane wouldn't have hugged him the way she did bc something would have had to have gone super wrong between them for him ever to try to move on, and secondly she certainly would never have commented on him 'still wearing it' because that would already be her default expectation? He would have been married when she left, so of course he would still be married now. And that's not even to mention her visceral reaction to the ring-- that combination of devastation and involuntary gladness is so telling, bc on one hand deep down she's so happy to see him still wearing it because it means that he hasn't turned his back on her, that he still considers himself her husband and there's still hope for the two of them, but also devastation because his faithfulness only makes it more clear how much she's hurt him, and also hurts worse because she thinks (for an as yet unknown reason) that there's actually no way for them to ever be together again. And god I just feel so sad for both of them rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why did you have to separate them, Gero, why???? (Well, for drama, I suppose, but honestly THAT'S A TERRIBLE REASON. LET COUPLES JUST BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY GODDAMMIT. TRUST ME IT CAN STILL BE GOOD TV.) And then ugh she's trying so hard not to cry and Weller can't bear to see that so he gets down to business, telling her she has to come back bc the other three have been kidnapped. Which is awful but tbh I'm more focused on how the others felt when Jane left? Did the kiddies feel like mom had abandoned them? Are they mad at her, on Weller's behalf as well as their own? Will they forgive her straight away and joyfully welcome her back when she and Weller rescue them, or will there be that distance and frostiness like at the start of last season? And Jane asks him if Roman was involved-- and while he doesn't know, this mention definitely bodes well for getting to see Roman next season. Then Weller pulls out a box with her name on it in the same style as his tattoo on her back (clearly they didn't get the memo about her new last name tho) and ugh he holds it out to her, telling her no one has been able to open it but that he has a theory-- and looks like he was right to come all this way to find her, bc only she can open it. Possibly even only the two of them together, but it's unclear if that’s the case. Also ok I really need to know, did he already know where she was, like Patterson had figured it out or something, but he'd just been giving her her space and had only come now that the others had been taken? Or did he only just find out now? In which case that’s pretty damn lucky timing... I mean I bet Patterson had been looking for her this whole time, so...? But anyhow there's a random metal disk thing inside the box, and it's only when Weller touches it with her that it shows a reflected image of her bird tattoo. And then because he's a smart boy, Weller lines it up with her bird tattoo and presses it against her skin, and suddenly Jane lights up like some kind of bioluminescent christmas tree. Surprise-- there's a whole new layer of tattoos to discover, with a whole new set of clues hidden within. Which is completely whack, but undoubtedly something among all that will lead to saving the others-- which means it’s something Weller can't do without her. And well, Jane, in the eternal wisdom of Smashmouth: you'll never know if you don't go, and you'll never shine if you don't glow...

And so that’s it. It's over. Another season, another cliffhanger that will haunt us for months-- and like last year, the question is 'Will Jane and Kurt ever be able to come back to one another?’ (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes. They will always come back to each other. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take a whole damn season this time....) But anyhow, thank you so much to everyone who has read these and liked/commented/sent me messages-- I've loved sharing these with you guys, and I'm glad you've loved them too. So cheers, and see you all next season :P