#i will have been in this city almost 48hrs when i leave and i was out for about 2 of them

[evidently-endless]

being depressed is literally so lame and embarrassing but only when it’s me. everyone else is doing great and i love and support them

[moo-blogging]

Could you make a part 2 of the fic were Levi holds the reader close before he leaves for a mission? Could part 2 be about what happens when he comes back?

Only if it’s ok😊

You only had a glimpse of him when the flying machine touched ground. His small figure behind Zeke's massive physique, rushing him to somewhere only Hange and he knew. You did ask him where would he be at. At least you could stare at the direction of where he would be. But Levi being Levi, he let nothing slipped from his tongue except kisses on your lips.

It was only a 15-hr operation, but time seemed to stopped while they were gone, and since the flying machine came into sight, time sped up faster than usual. The city was a sandstorm of adrenaline and eye contact between personnel who knew only their part of work. Levi ensured you were positioned within the city, where you would have a good chance of tackling any form of attacks using your Maneuver Gear.

"Run, if you can't." It was the first time you heard from Levi to run away from your responsibility as a soldier. "Promise me, you would run."

"I will."

.

It was over. The walls crumbled and the rumbling started. You slumped on the remnants of the walls, unable to comprehend what had happened.

"Wait.." you croaked, "where is Levi? Where did you lose him? DONT LEAVE BEFORE YOU TELL ME!" You tried to run toward the Founding Titan. You wanted to get hold on Zeke and punch his face and make him tell you where was the love of your life. One of the soldiers caught you and pulled you to safety. You couldn't think straight now.

.

When you saw Hange by the window, you thought you had been insane. You tried so hard to force any information out of their mouth but they refused to give out anything about Levi until you saw him.

"Is he alive? Please tell me this." You begged.

Hange hesitated. "Yes."

.

You head went blank. You had expected him to be hurt, but what you saw was far from what you had expected. Levi was heavily bandaged and strapped onto a cart. Your blood run cold and your knees threatened to give way. Trembling, you moved toward him. With shaking hands, you cupped his cheeks and you exhaled in relief. His cheeks were warm.

You sat by the cart, gently holding his hand as everybody sat by the fire. You had cried as you walked, and now all you hoped for was no pain for Levi. You hoped he was so deeply asleep he felt nothing. It broke your heart when you saw his hand. He had lost 2 fingers. You held his wounded hand in yours so very gently and every time you looked down at his palm, your heart broke and you had to force your tears back. You felt a pain so deep in your heart you couldn't stop tearing up.

"Y/N, my love?"

You jolted. You looked at his face and he had already been looking at yours. His greyish blue eye was tinted with relief and love. Out of control, you broke into a loud wail. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sobbing your heart out.

With his rough, bandaged palm, Levi stroked your face. You held onto his shirt, shaking and crying all the unexplainable emotions you had been holding in.

"Forgive me, my love. I almost didn't make it." Levi pressed his face onto your hair, inhaling you again. Levi was glad you were alright. He swore you got skinnier compared to 48hrs ago when he last saw you. His heart broke to the sound of your crying. He wanted to hold you so bad but his body was too heavy to control.

All he could do was gently stroking your face, staining your tears on his bloodied bandage. At least tonight, you had each other.

[peachywontyell]

i have a crush on jenny and jaime and im brainrotting really really bad. this is all purely self-indulgent. the chances of me doing this again with 18+ thoughts are high.

poly jaime & jenny��🏾

-being friends (the kind that definitely have something going on but neither dare to name it) with jaime through uni. after graduation you both promise to keep in touch; it falls through immediately.

-thinking it's something you did, but really his life just got turned upside-down in less than 48hrs. hes a little occupied.

-you hear the news about kord industries, but it's not like they say what- or who- happened. all you know is the company has a new president and she's gorgeous.

-bumping into jaime en la tiendita de la esquina after impulsively moving to palmera city a year or so later. he somehow looks better. buffer, more confident- and so apologetic after he recognizes you.

-he invites you out for drinks later that night, begging with those pretty brown eyes of his. so you say yes, cause you both know you can't say no when he's looking at you like that.

-it went well. well enough that you're heading back to his apartment. and you know nothing is going to happen, but you're still nervous.

-yes, you both crash on his couch after even more (very drunk) soft chatter. no, you didn't expect to wake up to the smell of coffee and gentle clatter of plates.

-here you are though, half awake, using jaime as a pillow, really confused cause he didn't mention anything about having a roommate.

-sitting up to greet whoever it was and the words die on your tongue when you see who it is, cause what the hell is jenny kord doing in his kitchen and why is she offering you coffee and waffles with a smile so sweet you're not sure you can stomach any more sugar.

-but you do. her waffles are delicious and you're sure she's made of pure magic cause she got your coffee perfect first try. you almost spit it out when jaime gives her a sleepy good morning kiss though.

-you were already blushing, a bit flustered sure, but you were playing it off like you were just nervous to meet such a prominent figure. but this you couldn't play off.

-after many apologies and saying that nothing happened between you two, jenny looks as calm as ever as she tells you that it's okay, even if something had happened, it would have been okay. there is a flicker of something in her eyes and you can not put a name to it, but it's not negative.

-you run out of there, spewing something about remembering that someone was coming over for repairs. you're sure you only began to breathe again as soon as you stepped through your door.

-they both find it hilarious sure, but jaime tells her she can't just say those things to you, cause you fluster easily. she makes it a little game, which one of them can fluster you the most.

-you feel like you are going crazy. a month or two after the first introduction with jenny and lots of hangouts...now you're sure that they're both...hitting on you? but that's crazy, right?

-wrong. you're being guided to a more secluded part of the dancefloor at a strangers party by jenny and you know you're wrong.

-yes, you're drunk, so is she and her hands are on your hips pulling you closer and closer while some reggaeton plays in the background and now you find yourself throwing ass on your....friends? girlfriend while her fingertips sink into your flesh deliciously. you could get used to this.

-too focused on trying not to die from the feeling, you completely miss jaime and jenny sharing a smirk and a nod.

-you're sure they planned it cause it was too perfect of a coincidence. jenny left you, obviously hot and definitely bothered, saying she was gonna go get you guys drinks and all you could do was nod. as soon as she leaves, you blink, and there's jaime.

-you start to apologize for what just happened and shut up as quickly as you started because he is suddenly so close and asking if he could also have a dance and you're sure you're dreaming.

-the next morning, the only thing you know is that you're in a bed, it smells familiar, there is someone playing with your hair and a different arm across your waist.

-you don't know who changed you out of your clothes and both of the options have your head spinning so you choose not to think about it. a very needed conversation is had like that, cuddled in bed. you almost turn into mush when they ask you to join their relationship.

-now you've got two partners. and you gonna make up for lost time.

[autodidact-adventures]

World War I (Part 9): July 29th-31st

Wednesday, July 29th, 1914

At 1am, Tsar Nicholas sent a telegram to Kaiser Wilhelm, signing it “Nicky” (they were first cousins).  It said: “In this serious moment, I appeal to you to help me.  An ignoble war has been declared to a weak country.  The indignation in Russia shared fully by me is enormous.  I foresee that very soon I shall be overwhelmed by the pressure forced upon me and be forced to take extreme measures which will lead to war.”  He asked the kaiser “in the name of our old friendship to do what you can to stop your allies from going too far.”

As the telegram was being sent to Potsdam, one from the kaiser was going to the tsar, signed “your very sincere and devoted friend and cousin, Willy.”  In it, he said that he hoped for peace, and that “I am exerting my utmost influence to induce the Austrians to deal straightly to arrive [at] a satisfactory understanding with you.”

The tsar and kaiser wrote to each other in English, which they were fluent in.  Their exchange was hopeful, but the kaiser did not believe that Austria was creating an “ignoble war”, he agreed with Austria that “Serbian promises on paper are wholly unreliable.”  In the margins, he wrote that the tsar's message was “a confession of his own weakness, and an attempt to put the responsibility on my own shoulders.”

Sazonov (Foreign Minister) was still under enormous pressure.  Later that morning, the War Minister Vladimir Sukhomlinov, and the army Chief of Staff, spoke with him, telling him that their solution to the crisis was to mobilize.  This would make Austria-Hungary see that they were completely serious.  If they didn't mobilize, then they wouldn't be able to respond if Austria invaded Serbia.  And if there was a great war, then they would be completely unprepared.  Sazonov agreed quickly.

The Chief of Staff travelled by train to the tsar's summer palace (the tsar hadn't visited the capital since the assassination).  He had two decrees for him to sign.  The first decree ordered the mobilization of 12 army corps (55 divisions) in the four military districts where the preparations were the most advanced.  This was less than half of Russia's full military force, so it wouldn't be a huge threat to Germany, but it was bigger than the whole Austro-Hungarian army.  The second decree ordered a general mobilization, for all districts (including those next to Germany), which would of course make everything worse.

The tsar signed both decrees, but he thought he was just getting the paperwork in order for possible action later.  He told the Chief of Staff that neither decree was to be carried out without specific authorization from him.

That night, the army headquarters was preparing to carry out general mobilization.  Sazonov continued to lie to the British ambassador that they were considering no action that could upset the Germans. In the middle of all this, the tsar sent his decision – they could only partially mobilize, and there must be no move against Germany. He was still communicating with Wilhelm via telegram, who was truthfully assuring him that he was still trying to slow the Austrians down.

During the day, the French President Poincaré and PM Viviani landed at Dunkirk, and took the train to Paris.  They learned, to their surprise, that Austria had declared war.  Crowds had gathered to meet them, and they were shouting, “To Berlin!”  There were also crowds eager for war in Vienna, Berlin, Hamburg, and London, where the city was in “a state of hysteria”, according to a bank clerk.

Not everyone was eager for war.  Bertrand Russell, a British political activist, was in London, and “discovered to my horror that average men and women were delighted at the prospect of war.” Socialist leaders throughout Europe were gathering their followers to oppose the conflict.

Political and military leaders were grim.  Grey, in his office, said that “the lamps are going out all over Europe.  We shall not see them lit again in our lifetime.”

Poincaré was moved by the crowds' enthusiasm, and determined not to let Russia doubt France's support, but he also didn't want to escalate hostilities any further.  He and Viviani telegraphed St. Petersburg, saying that Russia shouldn't do anything to provoke a German mobilization.  However, this telegram arrived after the tsar had approved partial mobilization.

Winston Churchill was excited for the war, writing to Prime Minister Asquith's wife, “I think a curse should rest one me, because I love this war.  I know it's smashing & shattering the lives of thousands of every moment – & yet – I enjoy every second of it.”

However, things were looking better on Wednesday, and the probability of war was lessening.  The tsar and kaiser were communicating, and trying to hold back the Austrians.  There were two things necessary for the crisis to be resolved – Russia must not fully mobilize (the kaiser accepted temporary & limited measures that didn't directly threaten Germany), and Austria must agree to the Stop-in-Belgrade plan, or something like it.  The latter would probably happen, because Germany wanted it to, and Austria needed their support.

So the question was whether or not the Russians would mobilize and provoke the Germans into doing the same.  Germany's War Ministers were unsure about this.  War Minister Erich von Falkenhayn was afraid of not responding to Russia's mobilization, and wanted preliminary steps towards their own mobilization.  But Chief of Staff Helmuth von Moltke didn't want to do anything that might provoke Russia into full mobilization.  He wrote a memorandum to Chancellor Bethmann, saying that if war came, “the leading nations of Europe would tear one another limb from limb...in a struggle that would destroy the culture of almost all of Europe for decades to come.”

Bethmann sent a telegram to Ambassador Pourtalès in the evening, telling him to “kindly impress upon M. Sazonov very seriously that further progress of Russian mobilization measures would compel us to mobilize and that then European war could scarcely be prevented.”

Thursday, July 30th, 1914

By now, the European public were fully aware that war was likely, and many were withdrawing their money, leading to runs on banks. Austria, Germany and Russia were withdrawing their reserves from foreign banks, and the financial markets in Brussels (Belgium) and Berlin were shut down because of panic selling.

Nicholas and Wilhelm were still communicating via telegram, but things started to go wrong there as well.  Sometime in the middle of the night, the tsar tried to assure the kaiser that Russia had no hostile intent against Germany, telling him that “the military measures which have now come into force were decided on five days ago for reasons of defense on account of Austria's preparations.”  But the message the kaiser took from this was that Russia “is almost a week ahead of us” and so Germany had to mobilize, too.

On the morning, the army general staff told Sazonov that partial mobilization wasn't possible – it would have to be improvised and would throw the army into confusion, leaving them helpless if Germany attacked.  Sazonov accepted this, and the Chief of General Staff phoned the tsar, asking him yet again to approve a full mobilization. Nicholas refused, but grudgingly agreed to meet Sazonov (who was already on his way) at 3pm.

When they met, Sazonov spent a long time arguing on the general's side.  However, he was misinformed on most of what he said.  He told the tsar that Austria was refusing to talk, and was preparing to destroy Serbia (only the latter was true).  He also believed (incorrectly) that Germany was pretending to restrain the Austrians, and was far ahead with an undeclared mobilization; that Russia couldn't afford not to respond; and that only full mobilization was possible.

The tsar kept refusing, saying, “Think of the responsibility which you are asking me to take!  Think of the thousands and thousand of men who will be sent to their death!”  But eventually, he gave in – unnecessarily, as most of the reasons that persuaded him were incorrect.  Germany was the only European power that hadn't taken any military action at all yet.

Sazonov also was wrong in arguing that a general mobilization wouldn't provoke the Germans to mobilize themselves.  In fact, it would send the German generals into a panic, and they would demand their own mobilization.  And Russia didn't know yet how fast Germany would be able to mobilize, or that their mobilization plan was so inflexible that they would have to invade France (thus definitely setting off a European war).  Even the kaiser and Chancellor Bethmann didn't realize this yet.

So Russia began its general mobilization, just over 48hrs after Austria's declaration of war.  It added another 900,000 active-duty troops, and called up the reserves of 4 million.  And the possibility of negotiations, or the Stop-in-Belgrade plan, was all but ended.

Not only was there no need for Russia to mobilize, but there was no need for them to enter the war at all.  Their security wasn't threatened, and even if Austria had destroyed Serbia, it would have had little impact on Russia's strategic position within Europe.  They had the biggest army in the world, and they were still in the beginning stages of an program that would increase it by 40% within three years.

Also, it was a strategic gift to the Austrians (if Conrad had taken advantage of it).  Previously, they hadn't been sure if they were going to fight Russia, or if they could focus only on Serbia.  Now they did know.

The monk Rasputin was currently recovering in his home village from a stab wound that had nearly killed him.  Because of his health, and the fact that he was so far from the capital, he couldn't have known what was going on in the major European capitals.  But he sent a telegram to Tsarina Alexandra which said: “Let Papa [the tsar] not plan war.  With war will come the end of Russia and yourselves, and you will lose to the last man.”  It was shown to Nicholas, and when he'd read it he tore it into pieces.

Britain's Foreign Secretary, Sir Edward Grey, had previously been doing almost nothing about the crisis, because of the divisions within his cabinet.  But now he was alarmed at how serious it was getting, and he finally acted.  He said to Germany's Ambassador Lichnowsky (without the knowledge of his cabinet) that unofficially, and in his opinion, “unless Austria is willing to enter upon a discussion of the Serbian question, a world war is inevitable”, and that he expected Britain would fight on France & Russia's side.

When Wilhelm and Bethmann heard about this, they gave up hoping that if war came, it could be a “local” one, between only Austria and Serbia.  They tried harder to restrain Austria, but it was really too late.  If Grey had said this a few days earlier, then Germany would have switched their position more quickly and more firmly, and perhaps Austria would have deferred its declaration of war, and Russia wouldn't have mobilized.

And now Bethmann realized that Russia thought that Austria was refusing to talk with them.  He got Tschirschky (Germany's ambassador to Vienna) to inform Berchtold about this, but things were happening too fast for Austria-Russia negotiations to be of any use.

Bethmann was sending many telegrams to Tschirschky, getting more and more frustrated.  In one of them, he said that if Austria refused to negotiate with Serbia, it would be not only “a serious error”, but “a direct provocation of Russia's armed intervention.”  In another telegram, he said that “We are, of course, ready to fulfil the obligations of our alliance, but must decline to be drawn wantonly into a world conflagration by Vienna, without having any regard paid to our counsel.”  But by now, Berchtold was no longer listening to anything, determined to have war with Serbia.

Poincaré informed Ambassador Paléologue to inform Russia that they could depend on France, but also that Russia should proceed cautiously.  Poincaré didn't know that Russia had already mobilized, and Paléologue only told Sazonov the first part of the message.

France and Russia were still getting incorrect reports that Germany was carrying out extensive military preparations.  France was beginning to prepare themselves, but very slowly and very cautiously – they wanted Britain to see Germany as the aggressor.  They didn't call up any reserves, and no troop movement by train was allowed.  Poincaré ordered that all troops be kept six miles away from the border.  General Joseph Joffre (French commander-in-chief) asked for permission to mobilize, but he was denied it.  Poincaré wouldn't even allow limited movement of troops towards the six-mile limit, although he relented when Joffre threatened to resign later on in the day.

Poincaré summoned the British ambassador to Paris into his office, and asked for a firmer line in London.  He told him that if Britain declared its intention to support France, then Germany might be deterred, and thus they could avoid war.  But the ambassador knew how divided the London government was, and only said “how difficult it would be for His Majesty's government to make such a statement.”

General Helmuth von Moltke (chief of German general staff) checked on Austria's mobilization status, and saw that Conrad was still deploying large numbers of troops to the south, against Serbia. Moltke panicked, because the Austrian troops on the Russian border would be outnumbered two-to-one, which meant that if Germany invaded France, they would be unprotected in their rear.  Moltke telegraphed Conrad urging him to shift his main force north.

He also warned Conrad that they must not have anything to do with the Stop-in-Belgrade proposal (as a general, this was not a matter for him to be involved in).  This was the opposite of what Bethmann was saying.  When he heard Moltke's warning, Berchtold exclaimed, “What a joke!  Who's in charge in Berlin?”

At 9pm that evening, Moltke took War Minister Erich von Falkenhayn with him to Chancellor Bethmann's office.  These two generals told Bethmann that Germany had to mobilize, and that if they put it off any longer, they were putting the country at risk.  At the very least, a State of Imminent War (like Russia's Period Preparatory to War) must be declared.

Bethmann was reluctant to commit to any military action, but he also didn't want to leave Germany undefended.  He promised to decide by noon the next day.  In fact, he was beginning to see war as inevitable, and so he was beginning to think about preparing for war, rather than keeping peace.  He knew that Conrad had declared the Stop-in-Belgrade plan to be infeasible, and that Berchtold agreed. If Germany's enemies were going to go to war against them, he thought, now was better than later.

Friday, July 31st, 1914

Unofficial reports of Russia's mobilization had reached Germany almost immediately after it began, and when the German generals heard about it, they increased the pressure.  Germany was still the only European power who hadn't taken any military action, and this could not continue.  Even Britain had taken some action – First Lord of the Admiralty Winston Churchill had ordered the Grand Fleet to take up position in the North Sea.  From there, it could respond quickly to the German High Seas Fleet if it took action, and it could also protect France's Channel ports.

The situation wasn't fitting to Germany's war plans like they'd intended.  No-one had predicted that Russia would mobilize without declaring war, or that war between Germany & Russia would break out with France waiting on the sidelines.

The generals, including Moltke, wanted action now.  Germany was in a better position to win a war on two fronts than they would be in a few years' time, after France & Russia had improved & increased their forces.  Every day they delayed would cost them.

Wilhelm refused to approve mobilization, but he did approve a State of Impending War.  Soldiers on leave were recalled and Germany's borders & railways were secured; so were their postal, telephone and telegraph systems.  Like Franz Joseph and Nicholas, he was deeply reluctant, but gave in because the military men who were now taking charge in Germany, Austria and Russia were insisting there was no alternative.

Bethmann was worried about keeping Britain out of the war, and about making sure that Italy joined in on their side.  He only agreed when the earlier reports of Russia's mobilization were confirmed, a few minutes before noon.

Germany kept asking Austria to show some willingness to negotiate about various proposals that were being offered, but Berchtold was still not listening.  Wilhelm telegraphed the Emperor directly (cutting across diplomatic channels), and asked him to intervene. The Emperor spoke with Berchtold and Conrad, and told Wilhelm that they couldn't do anything more than they'd already done.

He didn't tell Wilhelm that Austria, too, was having issues with military plans – they had no plan that would send the army into Belgrade, but no further.  Conrad believed that it would lead to chaos, and with Serbia mobilizing, and Russia assembling their forces on the border, it would lead to disaster with Austria.

But Conrad was in many ways out of touch with reality – he was still obsessed with punishing Serbia, even as war with Russia became more & more likely.  He also believed that Italy would definitely enter the war on their side.

Power was moving from the diplomats & politicians to the military leaders.  Non-military options were becoming impossible.  The military was motivated mostly by fear, and as the Austrian ambassador to France had said on Thursday in a message to Berchtold, “Fear is a bad counsellor.”

Still trying to keep Britain out of the war, Germany informed them that if they (Britain) stayed neutral, Germany would promise to restore France and Belgium's borders at the end of it (but not any overseas colonies that they seized).  But no-one had mentioned Belgium yet – it was a neutral country – and so their diplomatic attempt backfired.  Grey was furious, seeing the offer as nothing more than bribery, and he said to the British ambassador in Berlin:

“You must inform German Chancellor that his proposal that we should bind ourselves to neutrality on such terms cannot for a moment be entertained.  He asks us in effect to engage to stand by while French colonies are taken and France is beaten so long as Germany does not take French territory as distinct from the colonies.  From the material point of view such a proposal is unacceptable, for France could be so crushed as to lose her position as a Great Power, and become subordinate to German policy without further territory in Europe being taken from her.  But apart from that, for us to make this bargain with Germany at the expense of France would be a disgrace from which the good name of this country would never recover.”

He also promised that if Germany helped to avert this war, then they would be rewarded, and fundamental changes in European alliances would be made so as to prevent anything like this happening again. He also implied that until now, he had not understood Germany's fear of encirclement, and that now he did:

“If the peace of Europe can be preserved and this crisis be safely passed, my own effort would be to promote some arrangement to which Germany could be a party, by which she could be assured that no hostile or aggressive policy would be pursued against her or her allies by France, Russia and ourselves, jointly or separately.”

With the approval of his cabinet, Grey asked France & Germany to declare their intention to respect Belgian neutrality if war broke out.  France did this easily – their plans for fighting Germany were based in the Alsace-Lorraine, far south of Belgium.  Poincaré knew that British support was far more valuable to them than any use they could make of Belgian territory.  But Germany couldn't respond, because of their mobilization plan.  This was the beginning of Britain's entry into the war.

Germany sent a “double ultimatum” to France and Russia.  They warned that German mobilization “must follow in case Russia does not suspend every war measure against Austria-Hungary and ourselves within twelve hours,” and they asked France to declare themselves neutral.  The deadline was Saturday afternoon.

There were two, rather contradictory, purposes to this ultimatum. First, they were still trying to escape the need to mobilize – hence asking Russia to cooperate and suspend theirs.  But second, they were trying to create a justification for their westward expansion into France, if they did mobilize, as it is unlikely that Germany expected France to agree.

If France did agree, the German ambassador to Paris was instructed to demand the temporary surrender of the great fortresses at Toul and Verdun, with the promise that they'd be returned at the end of the war.  There was no way that France would agree to that. In his memoirs, Bethmann would say, “If France had actually declared her neutrality, we should have had to sit by while the French army, under the protection of a specious neutrality, made all its preparations to attack us while we were busy in the East.”

Wilhelm and Nicholas had another exchange of telegrams.  Wilhelm told Nicholas that he was still trying to calm Austria down, and that “the peace of Europe may still be maintained by you, if Russia will agree to stop the military measures which must threaten Germany and Austria-Hungary.”

Before he got this message, Nicholas sent one saying that it was “technically impossible” to stop their mobilization, but that Russia didn't want war and still didn't see it as unavoidable: “So long as the negotiations with Austria on Serbia's account are taking place, my troops shall not take any provocative action.  I give you my solemn word for this.  I put all my trust in God's mercy and hope in your successful mediation in Vienna for the welfare of our countries and for the peace of Europe.”

Then Wilhelm's earlier message reached him, so he sent another telegram, saying that he understood that Russia's mobilization might mean that Germany would also need to mobilize, and he accepted this, but it didn't have to mean war.  He asked the kaiser for “the same guarantee from you as I gave you, that these measures do not mean war and that we shall continue negotiating for the benefit of our countries and universal peace dear to all our hearts.  Our long proved friendship must succeed, with God's help, in avoiding bloodshed.  Anxiously, full of confidence await your answer.”