#i will get to these this evening when i am done with my notes for the day

[bkghq]

ᝰ GRWM ft. y/n & bakugo

— INCLUDES pro hero! bakugo katsuki x pro hero fem! reader

— CONTENT WARNING ⋮ v wholesome bkg, lwk ooc i think, y/n being a woman of taste

— BONUS ARYA ⋮ i absolutely love this sm!! i think im gonna turn this pro hero yn/ tiktoker thingie into a series hehe

"Hey guys get ready with me for work while i tell you 10 facts about me and my boyfriend!" Y/n spoke to the camera, getting ready for her patrol, already wearing her hero suit.

"So me and my boyfriend— Katsuki, we met back in highschool. We were classmates and started dating around our second year." She said using toner pads on her face and neck.

She then moved on to the next step in her skincare routine, "Next i'm using this COSRX vitamin c serum— which by the way my very amazing boyfriend got me! i swear this guy does not, and i mean does not let me run out of anything—" She applied the serum on her face with the dropper, "— it's like he has this magical power of knowing when my essentials are almost finish and he'll just get it for me, UNasked!"

"In our relationship, Katsuki does all the cooking." She continues, now using the Milk makeup cooling water under eye gel but not before showing it to the camera. "And yes he definitely is the better cook— I try to cook from time to time, and he really appreciates when i do, but it is as clear as day that his cooking is wayyyy better than mine."

"Oh and he does the dishes too!" She adds smiling at the camera.

"When me and Kats met, we absolutely hated each other." She said putting emphasis on the word hated. "I used to call him potty mouth, and he used to call me spoilt brat, so it was quite shocking when he told me he liked me!" The girl chuckled putting on her moisturiser from clinique.

"Even though I am a pro hero myself and earn hefty, 'suki pays all our bills—" she said next putting on her sunscreen. "— He insists that it's his job since he's the 'man in our relationship, and it's a man's responsibility to provide for his girl' girls, take tips, don't settle for less!" She added acting like an older sister.

"Okay I'm done with my skincare, so moving on to the minimal makeup i do everyday." She said, while showing her too faced concealer.

"Even though he comes off as extremely mean and rude on camera, 'Ki is one of the most thoughtful people you will ever come across, he will not think twice before doing something for the people he loves." She spoke to the camera, unaware of the new company of the said man, who now stood at the door watching her, his figure also coming in the frame.

"Now im using this sacheu lip stain, this is literally my holy grail! it lasts me all day. I could be fighting like 10 villains and it will stay intact." She remarked, applying the lip stain.

"Fact number seven, we never go to bed mad at each other. It's a rule Kats made. No matter how big the fight we always resolve it before hitting the bed, and honestly it's such a healthy way to deal with fights and arguments." She said as a smile made her way to her aswell as Katsuki's face. A soft look in his eyes, as he watched her, arms crossed over his chest.

Y/N moves on to her blush. "Even though we've been dating for a long time now, we never stop going on dates!" She says putting blush on the apple of her cheeks. "This is a great way to keep your relationship interesting i feel like, since due to our work there are times when we are unable to see each for weeks at times."

"On that note— when either of us get assigned any mission overseas, we make sure to facetime atleast once a day even if it's just for 10 minutes. time differences suck, but we pick a time which is suitable for us both." The girl says as she puts her hair down from her messy bun.

"Last but not the least—"

"Is that i love this dummy here s'fuckin' much." Katsuki grumbles, finally making his presence known as he makes his way towards the girl, kissing her forehead. Y/n chuckles at his sudden appearance, because he wasn't one to make constant presence in her tiktok videos.

"You'll be late for patrol now ge'ddup dumbass." He says with no bite behind his words, giving her another kiss this time on her lips.

"Yeah!—" She smiles up at him, and looks back at the camera again, "See you guys soon, b-bye stay safe!" She concludes, hitting pause on the record button on her phone.

"You look cute today." Katsuki hums, as Y/n gets up from her chair, interlocking her hands around Katsuki's neck, his hands instinctively grabbing her waist.

"Thanks ki." She replies with a smile, standing on her tiptoes and kissing the blond man deeply.

Later that day, after patrol when Y/N posted that video. Not expecting it to blowup as much as it did, getting around ten million views, 2.5 million likes and a few hundred thousand comments.

@/ynsluvr : LOOK AT THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER !!!! @/greatexplosionmurdermypussy : if he ain't like this I DONT WANT HIM @/dekusillegitimatechild : omg queen drop links for the products @/pinky : ugh! get married already! @/chargeboltofficial : mama e papa MAMA E PAPA @/redriot : bakubro this all is so manly! proud of you @/serophane : @/chargeboltofficial he's so whipped LOL @/deku : I'm so glad kacchan treats you well y/n san ☺️

She sure was having a field day reading all these comments.

THNX 4 READING <3 RBS + COMMENTS APPRECIATED ིྀ

[queersyourgender]

Robby is literally in love with Jack and reader’s relationship and loves hanging out with them, but doesn't realise they actually want Robbyto join in and try to woo him.

Dream Vacation — Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x GN!Reader x Jack Abbot

Notes: None here, just Robby getting rizzed up by Jack and Reader, like he deserves!!

———

“Hey Robby, what's your dream vacation?” You ask him casually as you hop onto the couch beside him, wriggling yourself underneath his arm as you're wont to do. Jack watches you fondly, mouthing a teasing very subtle in your direction, which you don't grace with a response as you turn to look up at Robby instead.

He's blushing, bless his heart, and you don't know if it's from the proximity or the affection, but you know it's absolutely adorable all the same. Jack grabs the fancy wine, the one you two keep tucked in the back of your cabinet for special occasions, and starts pouring glasses for all three of you while Robby computes.

The older man looks down at you with a smile, entirely pretending that his face isn't red. “Honestly? I've always wanted to go to Hawaii,” he says, shrugging his shoulders slightly and gently tapping your arm in a way that tells you doesn't even realize he's doing it. 

You gasp dramatically, shooting up like a bullet and looking at him with wide, incredulous eyes. “Am I hearing this right? Are you saying you've never been to Hawaii?” You demand, only lightly playing it up for effect, because you're genuinely shocked by this information. When the older man nods at you, you turn to your partner with a look.

“And you just let this stand?” You ask Jack, exaggerated horror lacing your voice, and he laughs as he hands you and Robby your respective wine glasses then takes a seat on the opposite side of him, squishing him between you two. You bury yourself back where you were and start aggressively tapping away at your, pulling up hotel-booking websites right then and there. “I can't believe you've never been when you know Jack and I have gone, like, a gazillion times!”

“It was twice,” Jack corrects you from the other end of the couch, leaning into Robby's side and not-so-subtly pushing the sides of their thighs together. Now it's your turn to mouth his words back at him, and all he does is wink at you in return. “But honestly, babe, you're right. How come you've never been, Robby?”

Robby snorts at the words, looking between the two of you in amusement. “Why would I go?” He asks easily, like it was just that simple. “What's the point in paying all that money if I'm just going to spend my time off sleeping anyway? I don't have anyone to go with.”

Both you and Jack look at each other above his head, your eyes connecting with lightning speed as you both notice the opportunity at the same time. Immediately, you seize it. “Well…” You start coyly, leaning further into his side and looking up at him through your lashes. “You could always come with us.”

You see his eyes widen significantly, and you see the way his pupils physically blow, as if the image of the three of you being on a romantic getaway is flashing before his eyes. He swallows and laughs nervously, cocking a brow at you like he's unsure he even heard you correctly.

“Oh yes, rather than go on vacation alone, I'll just go on vacation as a third wheel,” he jokes, and you can't help the way your face turns into one of pure exasperation. You turn to Jack like he's an invisible camera from The Office, and your man, the traitor, immediately throws his head back and starts laughing.

Robby glances between the two of you, looking more confused than he's ever been yet still smiling just because of the mere fact that Jack is laughing. It fills your chest with so much warmth that that's all it takes to make him happy, you two's happiness. If only he wasn't oblivious to the fact that it goes both ways.

“Oh, brother, you're hopeless,” Jack says, after finally being done laughing at your miserable expression. He puts his wine glass down on the table before the three of you and turns his attention to Robby. Very deliberately, he settles a hand on his knee, just medially enough to be practically between his legs, and looks him dead in the eyes as he corrects him. “Trust me, that is not what we meant.”

Robby's jaw drops in disbelief, his face turning an alarming shade of red as he looks down at Jack's hand then back up at his best friend's intense gaze, and you immediately leap forward and smack Jack on the shoulder. “Abort! Abort! That's way too forward!” You exclaim. “You're gonna scare him off!”

“Scare me off?” Robby repeats, once he finds his voice, glancing between the two of you like he's never seen either of you in his life before this moment. “What do you mean, scare me off? What's going on here?”

Jack looks gives you a deadpan look, as if to say see? And you can't help but laugh slightly. “What's going on is that we've been trying to woo you for ages,” you finally say, laying your cards out on the table for all to see as you look at Robby fondly. “We know you like us, and we like you, too.”

Robby's face radiates heat as he looks between the two of you. You place a hand on his chest, and grin hard when you find his heart racing underneath your palm. Jack hums and leans ever closer, placing his hand above your own. “What do you say, Robby?” He murmurs softly. “Wanna go on that dream vacation with us?”

“Yes,” Robby says quickly, so quickly he seems to startle himself with the speed he answered with. You squeal your happiness and wrap your arms around his shoulders, while Jack laughs brightly and pulls both of you close.

[bybobbysbeard]

8 - Bucktommy for the fussing prompts, please 🫶🏻

Kelly, I continue my streak of answering these asks several weeks later.

Prompts here. Bucktommy, 1.6k words, mentions of chronic medical conditions, no other warnings.

The house is quiet. 

The main floor is dim, windows covered, and overhead lights off. There’s no documentary playing in the living room, no radio blaring from the garage. Buck stands at the kitchen island, lit only by the morning sun shining through the patio door and the cool glow of the range hood LED. 

He’ll have to shut the drapes again soon, but he wanted to see what he was doing for this part. The tines of his forks clink together as he shreds the boiled chicken as quietly as he can. His favourite stock pot simmers gently on the stove. Celery, carrots, and onion have already been chopped and added in. A package of dried egg noodles is waiting next to the burner. Ideally, he would have made fresh pasta, or even refrigerated the broth overnight, but he didn’t want to make more noise or take more time than was absolutely necessary. Buck got home over an hour ago, and after showering in the guest bath and dressing in the cleanest clothes from his work duffle, he started on the soup. He could have used the master bath, and dressed from his own dresser, but cracking the bedroom door open for a quick peek already had Tommy stirring from his slumber. His boyfriend is a notoriously light sleeper at the best of times, but it’s even worse after a night like the last. 

It’s nearly 9:30 am now. According to the series of increasingly garbled texts Tommy sent while Buck was on shift, it’s been ten hours since the migraine hit. 

In their first six months together, Buck had no idea that Tommy got chronic headaches. Over the last twelve months, he’s seen Tommy through five attacks like this. By the third migraine Tommy stopped trying to hide his symptoms. 

Buck’s done the research, and he knows that ‘chronic’ implies headaches or migraines on half or more of the days in a month. They’re trying to be honest with each other, so he also knows that Tommy meets that qualifier, but will never see a doctor about it. A diagnosis like that, with the associated prescriptions, would definitely trigger an FAA review at his next recertification. So, Tommy manages his symptoms with over the counter meds, and a host of tricks to get him through the worst of it. 

However, like most chronic conditions, sometimes there’s nothing that can be done to avoid a trigger. A massive low pressure system rolling down the coast, combined with a 48 hour shift and 6 hours of unscheduled overtime to create the perfect storm. Tommy’s earliest text noted he was finally headed home, and that he was already feeling that tell-tale throbbing behind his right eye. The messages devolved from there, as looking at a screen became more and more uncomfortable, and Tommy started relying on autocorrect and voice-to-text. 

He can guess when the nausea hit, as Tommy just sent the words sick face instead of the barfing emoji he was probably hoping for. 

Buck tips the cutting board over the pot, scraping the chicken in. Hopefully by the time Tommy wakes, he’ll be in the mood for some cozy, homemade, chicken noodle. He gives the soup a quick stir and is just setting the spoon down when there’s a soft creak of sound from the hallway. Buck comes out from behind the island, peering into the shadowed doorway. There’s a muted shuffling and Tommy appears, one broad hand wrapping around the door frame, the other arm raised, hand covering his eyes. Buck takes a hurried step to the right and pulls the heavy blackout drapes closed with a rattle of grommets against the curtain rod. Tommy flinches at the sound.

Sunlight shines through a narrow gap between the two panels, throwing a beam across the hardwood. The little bulb over the stove is still on, but Buck is blocking most of it with his body. Tommy slowly lowers his arm. He’s pale, washed out and layered up in Buck’s sweatpants, rolled at the ankle, a long sleeved shirt, and a ratty hoodie. His eyes are bloodshot, and his hair is a riot of curls. He’s blinking at Buck, tired and clearly still in pain.  

His voice is a gravelly whisper, “Evan.”

Buck steps forward, reaching for his free hand, and keeping his voice low. “Hi honey. How are you feeling?” 

“Thirsty.” Tommy’s palm is clammy, fingers shaking minutely. 

“I can help with that. How's your stomach? Do you want something to eat?”

“No.” He pauses, starting to sag against the doorway, and closing his eyes. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Don’t apologize.” Buck pressed closer, wrapping a careful hand around Tommy’s waist and shifting him upright. Tommy groans, but leans into him instead of the door. “Let’s get you back to the bedroom.” 

They shuffle down the halfway together, some weird mimicry of a three-legged race. Tommy left the door open, and the empty frame is a void, absorbing the meagre light from the hallway. The bedroom itself is totally dark. Even the red LEDs on their alarm clock have been covered. Thankfully, Buck’s been living here long enough that he could navigate it blindfolded. 

As he gets Tommy seated on the mattress, his eyes slowly start to adjust. The sheets are rucked up, twisted and bunched with the duvet. At the head of the bed there’s a microwavable heating pad, a gel ice pack half wrapped in a tea towel, and their flattest pillow. The nightstand is cluttered with two empty water glasses, a coffee mug, Tommy's reading glasses, and his phone, face down. There are four different pill bottles. Buck squints at the the labels, tilting them towards the scant illumination coming from the hallway. They’re Tommy’s preferred migraine combo of anti-inflammatories, pain relief, anti-nausea, and caffeine pills. 

He straightens the sheets and duvet with a few sharp tugs, and grabs the heating pad and gel pack. Both are room temperature. He sets them on the nightstand next to the empty cups and pushes lightly on Tommy's shoulder. His boyfriend tips backwards and sideways, dragging his legs up and laying down on the flattened pillow with a groan. Buck pulls the sheets closer, within Tommy’s reach. 

Buck leans in and smooths a hand over his unruly hair. “That's it, you go back to bed and I'll bring you everything you need." 

Tommy hums in reply, his eyes already closing. Grabbing the items from the nightstand, Buck straightens up and steps away. He leaves the door open behind him, wanting Tommy to stay mostly awake until he gets more hydration into his system.

The dim kitchen feels positively blinding after the darkness of the bedroom. The soup smells and looks great, only the noodles left to be added, but that’s easy enough to do when reheating. He moves the pot off the hot burner, and once the simmering stops, the kitchen is nearly as quiet as the rest of the house. The gel pack goes in the freezer, and a frozen one gets wrapped in the tea towel. The heating pad sits in the microwave for ninety seconds; Buck watches the countdown so it doesn’t have a chance to beep. He fills a clean glass with room temperature water from the tap. 

He’s done this enough times now to know Tommy’s preferences, even if he won’t admit to most of them. 

Walking back into the bedroom is like walking into a cave. He blinks a few times, until he can find Tommy’s pale face against their dark sheets. He’s under the top sheet, and has shuffled further towards the middle of the king-sized mattress, leaving a ledge that Buck perches on. He sets the pad and tea towel on Tommy’s other side before reaching for one of his hands. He’s still a little clammy, but no longer shaking now that he’s horizontal again. 

“You still awake?” A slow hum answers him. Calloused fingers slowly wrap around his own. Buck traces scarred knuckles until tired blue eyes blink open. He smiles encouragingly. “When was your last dose?”

Tommy presses his lips together, thinking. “Before dawn. After I got sick. Time?”

“Almost 10.” Letting go of Tommy’s hand, Buck uncaps the pain relief and the anti-nausea, and shakes a pill from each out onto his palm. Tommy pushes himself upright on weak arms and accepts them with the glass of water. He drains half in a few gulps. Buck reaches for the hot pad, laying it along the bottom of the pillow and helping Tommy to lay back down with it positioned at the base of his neck. The wrapped ice pack goes over his eyes. Tommy sighs, from deep in his chest, and melts into the bed, like all his strings have been cut. The wrinkle in his brow relaxes and his fingers go lax on the sheets. Buck brushes those dark curls back again.

“I’ll be in the living room. If you need anything.”

Tommy hums, considering. One hand slides the ice pack onto his forehead; a bloodshot eye cracks open. “I need something.”

“Oh. Y–yeah, of course. What can I do?”

“I need an incredible, big-hearted, hot-as-hell guy to keep me company while I nap.” Tommy smirks. A heavy hand lands high on Buck’s thigh. “Know anyone?” 

Butterflies swarm in his belly and Buck feels his cheeks heat. “Tommy. Don’t start something you’re in no condition to finish. And I don’t want to disturb you. You need to sleep.”

“So do you. You just got off shift.”

So stubborn. Buck fights the urge to roll his eyes. “I can rest on the couch.”

His boyfriend doesn’t say anything, but that perfect cupid's bow dips into a pout. 

“Oh my god, okay. You know, everyone thinks I do the ‘puppy dog eyes’ to get what I want, but they have no idea. Your face is a lethal weapon.” He stands, and strips his shirt off. Tommy hums again, higher-pitched and interested. Buck laughs softly before tugging the ice pack back down, covering his boyfriends eyes, and crawling into their bed. 

[lumosflairr]

Can I request a fic where George gets knocked out in quidditch practice and reader aka his girlfriend runs to check on him he's all confused and dizzy and flirts with her? Like those memes "hey girl you got a boyfriend?" "You are my boyfriend" "hEelL yeAH"

Dazed and Devoted - George Weasley

summary: George gets knocked out during Quidditch practice. When he wakes up, confused and concussed, he flirts with his girlfriend like he’s never met her before. And honestly? It’s kind of adorable.

warnings: none!

Word Count: 1.5k

Fred and George were showing off, as usual, turning every drill into a competition. You were perched in the stands, legs swinging off the edge as you watched George zip around the pitch like he hadn’t a care in the world. You’d told him earlier to please not die today, and he had given you a wink and said, “No promises, love.”

Typical.

Oliver was barking out orders below while Katie and Alicia ran plays overhead, but your eyes stayed on George. He always looked so alive on a broom, golden in the sunlight, wind-tossed hair everywhere, laughing like there was nothing else in the world to worry about.

And then—just like that—it changed.

One moment he was banking left to avoid a Bludger, and the next—

WHAM.

Bludger to the head. Clean hit.

You heard the thud before you saw it. George spun midair like a ragdoll, his broom zigzagging before he tumbled off and hit the grass with a dull, sickening sound.

“GEORGE!” you screamed, dropping your notes and sprinting from the stands before Madam Hooch could even react.

By the time you reached him, he was flat on his back, eyes half-lidded, a crooked smile on his face like he had just had the best dream of his life. He blinked up at you slowly.

“Hi,” he said, voice drowsy and slurred. “Are you an angel?”

“George—Merlin, George, are you alright?” you asked, dropping to your knees beside him, brushing back his hair to check for blood. “Fred! Someone get Madam Pomfrey!”

He blinked again. “Whoa. You’re really pretty.”

You froze, eyes narrowing. “Okay, yeah. He’s definitely concussed.”

George propped himself up slightly on his elbows and squinted at you, like he was seeing you for the first time. “Hey… hey, uh, do you have a boyfriend?”

You stared at him. “Seriously?”

He grinned goofily. “Because if not, I’m available. Just saying.”

You bit back a laugh. “George, I am your girlfriend.”

His face lit up like a Christmas tree. “No way. For real?”

“For real.”

He pumped a lazy fist into the air. “Hell yeah.”

Fred, who had just run over, nearly tripped over himself laughing. “He’s either dying or just scored the best news of his life.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “Both, apparently.”

George reached up and gently patted your face, missing your cheek and hitting your chin instead. “You’re so soft. Have I told you you’re soft?”

“You’ve told me lots of things, love. Most of them nonsense.”

“Bet I said them real smooth though.”

Fred muttered, “He flirts better concussed than I do fully functioning,” earning a glare from you.

Madam Pomfrey finally arrived, puffing and muttering under her breath. “Step back, step back, what did he do this time—bloody Weasley twins—”

“He caught a Bludger with his skull,” you said flatly.

“Coolest catch I’ve ever done,” George mumbled.

You brushed his hair back again gently, watching as Pomfrey waved her wand over his head and began muttering incantations. “You’re going to be okay. Just… try not to flirt with anyone else on the way to the Hospital Wing.”

George’s eyes fluttered closed briefly, then opened again, still dazed. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Got the prettiest girl right here.”

“Sweet-talker,” you said quietly, cheeks warm.

He smiled at you, soft and crooked. “Still can’t believe you’re my girlfriend. That’s like, winning the Triwizard Tournament but without the dragons.”

Fred piped up. “You do realize you’re gonna have to live this all down when you’re healed, yeah?”

George didn’t miss a beat. “Worth it.”

Pomfrey sighed. “Someone help me levitate this lovestruck idiot to the Wing before he starts serenading her.”

You stood up, still grinning as George kept his eyes locked on you, even while floating in mid-air. He reached out lazily, fingers wiggling in your direction. “I love you, random pretty girl.”

You leaned close and kissed his forehead. “Still your girlfriend, dork.”

He beamed, all bruised and dizzy and delighted. “Hell yeah.”

[swagpeachhumanoidgarden-blog]

NICOLANDRIA….. walk with me!!!!

Nic still wants Olandria, he pulled a Kordell from szn 6 and went with what olandria said because he is extremely observant and saw that Olandria wasn’t over taylor so he pulled back. FAST FORWARD TO THE RECOUPLING. He was absolutely NOT letting his queen leave, he had to have talked people into saving her because everyone was gung-ho about keeping Coco until he said his piece. His FACE when taylor opened his mouth to say something negative and delusional about Olandria…. He was looking at him soo sideways because he fumbled the FUCK out of that girl. Thennnn she was saved (led by Nicky Poo) and he smiled at her with stars in the eyes and she went STRAIGHT to Nic for comfort. I know yall peeped it.

NEXT EPISODE: I think that Nic is going to comfort Olandria because he’s the only one who saw everything that happened with Clarke in taylor in the villa with her and they’re going to get even CLOSER then BAM he says he’s interested in exploring a romantic connection and the win the 100 thou.

I am curious how upset Cierra is going to be that her good friend and her couple partner made out in soul ties outside of a challenge but…. Don’t let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife.

I need to ALSO talk about the fact that Nic was a gentleman the ENTIRE TIME THEY WERE DOING CASA TOGETHER starting when they were walking up to that date. He kissed her hands, called her his queen, couldn’t wait to talk to her about what happened, said HE missed her, immediately shut down her thinking they would just be a friendship couple, waited for VERBAL CONSENT before kissing her in soul ties, held her lip combo in his POCKET, said he was the most attractive/beautiful woman he’s ever seen in HIS LIFETIME (he is 24 years old and has been to 44 fucking countries mind you), GAVE HER THE SHIRT OFF OF HIS BACK WITH NO HESITATION AS SOON AS SHE SAID SHE WAS COLD, had the patented kenny stars in his eyes when he was looking at her after (and before tbh) their kiss, HELPED HER ONTO THE BLEACHERS (s/o to Pepe for leading her to her man btw), and looked at her with sparkly eyes while she rested her head on his shoulder.

AND ANOTHER THING Nic is literally more attractive when he’s coupled with Olandria, maybe it’s the pure joy he feels knowing he got his woman but who’s to say.

Let us ALSO not forget that his mom and sister have been rooting for them to be together SINCE THE BEGINNING. they literally talked more about Olandria than Cierra in BOTH of the videos they’ve done talking about their thoughts. If anyone would be able to see that Nic is smitten would it not be his MOTHER? I don’t know you guyssssss I’m thinking they’re gonna find their way back to eachother.

In the words of the wise Jeff Buckley….. it is quite literally never over. I am going down with this ship. They can rip it out of my cold dead hands.

Side note…. I need a Nic.

[icyboineptune]

Mi Vida Loca and why it's about Ivan

(editor's note: this post started being made the day before Karma but since I've seen it, I've added lil things)

Vivimeng, you've done it again. Broken my heart. I'm terrified for tomorrow with Karma, but hey, what better time to go on an ALNST rant.

(Look at my boy. I love him.)

First off, my delusional ass wants you to take note of the Ivan written in the large, leftmost heart.

And then, the shirt of Till. Normally, it's covered in a mixture of Mizi and Ivan's signatures, but not today! Rather, that cat with an eye mimics when Ivan is portrayed as a cat chasing Till in official art.

The background colour is Paratise's blue, inverted. In fact, whilst the preview was the inverted colours of the Unknown Till The End, the actual album doesn't fit into the same colour scheme at all. It's... well, I'll show you.

Remind you of anyone’s colours, hmm? Look how little pink and green there is (Mizi colours) compared the overwhelming red/white/blue/black representing Ivan.

Now onto the lyrics! See, as of right now I'm unsure whether Till meant the song directly for Ivan, or whether he meant it for Mizi and Ivan snuck in there. Regardless.

"I feel so pathetic whenever I stand in front of you/I can't say a word, I turn back around every day"

Do you remember in Black Sorrow that scene where Till and Ivan were so close to escaping Anakt. Till hesitated and turned around to head back for stability in the form of reliable faces and reliable punishments in the garden since he couldn't face the unknown of freedom like Ivan could?

He is expressing his guilt here over not taking the opportunity now that it is much too late. He wants to turn back around every day that he did not, back to Ivan. But just as he couldn't say a word back then to explain himself, he cannot say a word even in this hypothetical idealised world he wishes to have made.

Doomed yaoi, am I right?

"Scenario: CRUSH"

Remind you of a certain pink-haired lady's desire to crush, anyone?

It's similar perhaps to 'error: no better options' which refers to how the deep idolisation and love for Mizi Till felt was a product of his socialisation, deeper than anything he could say in words (hence his performance of Unknown to show that no, it was much more than her being 'pretty' that meant he cared for her)

I think this demonstrates a sense of awareness from Till that he is susceptible to crushes, without the agency to act upon them the way he wishes.

"My stimulating love explodes"

There's not as much to note about this line yet imo other than the idea that his feelings are kept so badly in check due to how earnest he is in essence that they will always build up and explode out of him, thanks to this lack of self-regulation he has.

"Open up your ears, please understand me"

Ivan does not listen to any sign that he could be genuinely happy around anyone, I don't think. He doesn't pay much mind to the people that admire him for his princely persona, he's put off by Mizi's false optimism, and he's jealous of Sua's reciprocated love.

The latter makes me laugh in hindsight because Mizisua has just as many issues in their relationship. If anything, the perspective that it's better not to tell a loved one your feelings till the end (get it?), though it made Ivan deeply unhappy and ended up with the mess that was round 6, turned out to be a lot kinder on Till than Sua's love was on Mizi.

But yeah Till asking him to listen and understand instead of 'shaking it off and stand(ing) tall' like Ivan sings despairingly about in Nowhere feels very purposeful in recontextualising unrequited love as miscommunicated requited love, something I will defend with my life

"Don't you leave me"

Till has never once shown himself to be demanding of Mizi like this, even in Unknown he innocently 'want(s) to know all about (her)' rather than ever make a demand about her presence.

Rather, this is a call to Ivan, an urgent demand for him to return and explain himself. He doesn't want to be a victim of Ivan's 'shallow emotions', goddamn it, he wants him back! The biggest constant in Till's life cannot simply just up and leave to the Great Anakt after throwing the competition and a tantrum by unexpectedly kissing and choking him. He can't leave him, not like this.

It reads almost like a plead to which he'll never know: if you loved me, why did you leave me?

"I'll probably get it across to you for sure"

*klaxon noise*

press X to doubt

There have always been little signs that Till cares for Ivan, even if we have been robbed of a Till POV comic so far that depicts his side of things. But not enough for Ivan to notice.

"Close the distance between us/To be inside your heart"

Up until now, the main one to be mentioning being 'inside' another person as a representation of their desire to forever occupy a space in someone's life is Ivan!

Though 'to live in you like parasite', works as a parallel in that they both wish to be within each other, 'bury my secret deep within my heart' captivated my interest because it feels as though Till is saying to Ivan what he was initially to Mizi: he wants to know about Ivan through his heart, his love, his secrets, everything.

One of Till's love languages seems to be the wholehearted desire to acknowledge and accept a person and all their hidden facets, and part of his frustration thus stems from the fact that he ironically cannot seem to fully break past the masks people hide behind until it's too late.

"Do you love me? I do" AND "Don't you hate me"

Ivan and Till had a love-hate relationship in their lives, and too often I see people disregarding one side of their relationship simply because the hate is more easy for Till to express than his love.

See, while Mizi is more someone to uplift Till, or at the very least make him flustered enough to not express himself properly as seen in the comic where he could say nothing but "you're pretty", Ivan called Till a loser. Like, literally called him a friendless loser that he plays with and Mizi doesn't.

That will hurt coming from someone you spend a lot of time with, especially Till who has - as far as I know - barely any other people who actually like his presence to converse with, save for his bisexual awakenings.

Ivan beats him up and teases him a lot in general tbh. They had to stop because Ivan and his '4 hours of sleep for the GAINS' scheduling meant their physical difference was too big.

"I get scared again like an idiot/Widen the distance between us"

The meteor scene is going to actually kill me. The meteor scene is going to kill meeeee aughhhh

Till once again lamenting for what could have been in his life had the mutual awful communication skills and fear inherent to their beings as pet humans not widened the gap between what is done and what is meant, driving a rift between them.

"Mi Vida Loca"

Damn, boy, your life do indeed be crazy

"They say this is a beautiful song/And they open their arms wide for me"

Till has a 2.5 vocal skill rating (absolutely FOUL, Akugetsu is Ado's brother from another mother and deserved 5/5) but still made Alien Stage because he has prodigy level musical talent. He was stolen from Io because he genuinely liked singing and they took notice of that. I have the feeling aliens don't like the rock-ish genres as much as others, hence All-In being how it is. Mi Vida Loca being loved since it's a pop song thus makes sense, and Unknown skyrocketing him to Top 3 status is because of his performance and stage presence.

His rebelliousness is commoditised despite its existence causing him suffering; he is only conditionally 'loved' by alien society, directly contrasting Ivan's love for his authenticity.

"But more than the countless spotlights I want you/My light is born from you"

OHOHO. Tasty line, this. Light is born from shadow, one cannot exist without the other. Well, Ivan describes himself as Till's shadow: 'What's closer than light is shadow'.

Till's connections with the people around him are the things that keep him going, in essence, which is something I truly admire about him.

"You(r) smile that doesn't love me"

This can apply to Mizi and Ivan to be honest. Mizi smiles and fawns as a way to dissociate from her reality, and Ivan practiced fake smiling in front of puddles to the point of it being one of two expressions he allows himself to show (the other being apathy).

Till's unreliable narrator shows again though, because both of the two definitely cared for him. It's the classic self deprecating thought process of: I really hope they care for me -> of course they don't, just look at me -> but what if I did something new, maybe I would have a shot then -> they're pretending to but they actually hate me, etc etc it goes on forever

"I'll also smile at me that doesn't love myself"

My son has self-expression and self esteem issues. No wonder, what with literally everything that has happened to him in his life. I'd have issues too, gawd dayum.

Why I wrote this is not out of malice for my girl Mizi (girl you're not a witch ahufwdfggsobbinf).

It's because Ivan makes me a sad little man since every one of his songs, original or covered, is the most fucking depressing piece of music to analyse the lyrics of from his perspective. Whether the fact Till loved him back is a win or not is debatable, because that means he hated himself so much he doomed his own relationship (TvT)

Anyways. I DEFINITELY didn't cover everything, but here. My two cents! :D

Yours sincerely,

a guy who submitted an essay analysis of Ivantill to be graded and got a Distinction.

[moonlitcelestial]

Chapter 32 

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C ~14,280 

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾ 

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 31)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer. This story will follow several of the events that Ateez have done in the past year for Golden Hour Part 2, that being said I will not be able to include everything. 

Contains she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures and the Pinterest boards linked above (which will be updating as the story goes on).

General Warnings: cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness. 

CHAPTER WARNINGS - GET THE TISSUES!!! ANGSTY AHEAD!!! YOU WILL CRY!!! (like I did while writing this 😅) Conflict and Mentions of grandparental death, READ WITH CAUTION AND AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I bet you weren't expecting a double update this weekend 😈😈😈 I was too excited to make you guys wait soooooo THE MASTERPIECE HAS ARRIVED!!! This chapter might be my favorite to date! It's a little on the short side compared to the other chapters here recently but I think it's perfect (and also so I don't torture you too much) 😘 Let me know what you think! (Sorry, not sorry) <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

“What day is today?”

“Monday the– Ohhh fuck.”

“It’s the 15th why’re you– Oh no–”

“Fuck.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

Today you woke up like a normal person without a schedule. Of course your mind never lets you sleep past 7:30 but it was still nice not waking up to an alarm. You reached to the bedside table and grabbed your glasses and phone. When you turned it on it lit up with several notifications.

Your heart locked up, you had been so involved with everything going on that you hadn’t even realized the date. Your body had though, and that’s probably why you had a feeling of dread right before you went to bed last night. You slowly peeled Yeosang and San’s arms off of your waist and scooted off the side of the bed. Before you went anywhere you turned to look at the peaceful men cuddled up together.

San had curled up tighter since you moved and by that same token so did Yeosang. You readjusted the covers and tucked them over their shoulders; taking extra care not to wake them. As quietly as you could you grabbed your headphones and the cardigan that was discarded on the back of the chair at the desk before sneaking out the door to head to the main portion of the suite. Today you wouldn't be able to deal with silence so you put your headphones on over your ears. 

Your body was moving on autopilot as you flitted about in the small kitchenette to see if they had your favorite morning drink stocked in the cabinets somewhere. Alas your luck was not that good, with a grumble you slipped your shoes on, grabbed your wallet and headed toward the front door. You paused, shit you should at least write them a note on where you were going. You searched around the living room before you saw a small pad of paper and a black pen with the hotel logo on it. 

My loves,

I am going downstairs to get my morning caffeine fix because they don’t have what I like stocked in the suite. If I am gone for long you might find me at the piano in the lobby. 

With love

Your North Star

You folded the letter and placed it standing in a tent on the small coffee table situated between all of the couches. With one last look over at the note you completely slipped on the cardigan that you had slung over your shoulder and walked out the door making sure to close it gently. 

As you were walking down the hallway it seemed almost too quiet. Gone was the chaos that was yesterday. Replaced with the serenity of sleep and down mornings. The elevator dinged in front of you and you stepped in without a conscious thought. 

You were smiling and dancing with Dahlia in your Granny’s piano room. Something that always happened if the two of you were present while she was practicing. Your Granny was playing the melody of a tune you couldn’t even name now, something so minuscule in the back of your childhood brain. All you were focused on was Dahlia and how the two of you were faeries fluttering about to the piano music. Your mother and Aunt sat on the couches close to each other just watching everything unfold with smiles on their faces. You turned to Dahlia and sprinkled some ‘pixie dust’ on her and she got even more wild with you. The two of you, when together, always had the same mindset. Although she was about four years younger than you she kept up pretty well. 

The music floating around the space was coming to its head, and when it finally hit its crescendo you stopped and just watched your Granny. Utterly and completely enamored by the music she was producing on the large piano. 

The elevator dinged and you almost leapt out of your skin. With a quick step you slid out of the doors just in the nick of time. You walked over to the drink bar and immediately clocked your favorite, with years of habit under your belt you started making your drink. Something was cathartic about performing the mundane task in the swirl of the storm beginning to brew in your mind. As soon as your drink was finished you walked over to where you knew the pristine white piano was. You sat close to it and just admired the gorgeous thing. 

“Granny, why do you perform in front of so many people?”

“Because it brings me joy, my muse.” She was sitting at the ivory piano turning pages to get to the next piece she was going to practice before her performance that night. You were sitting on the floor of the massive stage, close enough that you could see her hands as they moved but far enough that you weren’t a hindrance; just like you had been taught. 

She must have finally found what she was looking for because within the next second she cracked her fingers and started playing again.

“Are you the one that was in here playing the piano in the early morning the other day?” Your head snapped up from staring down at your drink. You took off your headphones, laid them around your neck and offered the older gentleman a single nod. 

“You play beautifully, it reminds me of someone that my wife loved to go see any time she was near. Her name was Nell Starling.” Your heart stuttered in your chest then it started attempting to do backflips. You took a deep breath before meeting the man’s soft brown eyes again.

“Thank you, that’s the highest compliment you could give me.”

“You’ve heard of her? I would have thought you were too young to know her.” He chuckled as he took a seat in the small chair opposite you. 

“I know her very well, I’m Y/n Starling.” His eyes widened and mouth parted. You were giving him a small smile as he processed the words that came out of your mouth. 

“Wow. Of all the people I would have thought I would run into you were definitely not one of them. She spoke so highly of you when we went to see her each time. She called you her moon and her muse.” You gave him a nod, you knew that she had mentioned you in her concerts sometimes but it didn't cross your mind that it could have been every concert.

“She always said you kept her going even when she wanted to leave the scene of being a pianist.” You knew she struggled with staying with it while you were in your teen years, but you didn't realize that you had been the reason she kept going. Of course, she mentioned you in her last performance but you thought it was just her thanking you with the rest of your family. 

“My wife absolutely loved being able to hear her play, each time she would gush about her for days afterward. She also loved the stories she would tell of you in the intermission of her concerts; each time it was a different one.” 

“Stories?” He gave you a grin and a nod. 

“Each time we saw her it was a different story. She gave us great detail on how tiny your hands were against the keys of her piano at home. Then she told the audience about the first time she helped you play the piano when you were five. We laughed with her as she recounted how you played chopsticks for the first time; she called you dedicated but clumsy. You kept trying until you got it perfect and she said you were just like her; a pianist in the making. Her final show was my favorite by far, it may not have had a story but it was the beautiful ending of one.”

”I don’t know why that surprises me.” You took a sip of your drink and set it down on the small table next to you. He was just grinning at you. 

“You look a lot like her, you know.” Your heart almost stopped. No matter how many times people told you that while you were in the states it was still heart wrenching. You could feel the tears building in your lash line while you looked at the man who had so much appreciation for someone he didn't even know. Who somehow knew you without knowing you. 

“Many people have said that to me, it always makes my heart warm knowing I carry a piece of her with me anywhere I go.” He nodded at you before he reached across the table to offer you his hand. You took it with a small watery smile. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss, I know it was a while ago, but it still hurts nonetheless.” Your heart cracked open in your chest, there it was, the words you had dreaded to hear. It made it too real. Too harsh of a reality to face. The tears finally fell. He gave your hand a squeeze while you put your head down. 

You offered him a whisper of thanks and he just held your hand while the tears dripped down your face. His hold on your hand was firm, like a grandfathers, one that you missed since both of them had left you. He sat there in silence with you, offering you comfort in the best of ways. When you finally looked back up to him the tears had stopped. You wiped your face with the back of your hand before placing it on top of his hand that was holding yours. 

“Thank you for sharing your fond memories of her. While remembering it might be difficult I am always happy to hear how she impacted people. It makes me proud to have been related to such a wonderful woman and each time it only increases. She left her legacy –of joy and music– behind with me and everyone’s hearts she touched along the way.”

”She left her legacy in you my dear. I know you don’t see it but you are just like her when you play. I stood there watching you and could feel my wife standing next to me in that moment. She’s been gone for some time now but each year I come here around the time of our anniversary because it brings back those fond memories of our honeymoon. She always sat here in her free time just waiting for someone to come play, and that is exactly what I was doing while sitting at the bar the other night. Then you began to play and I saw it as a sign she was here with me. You brought back Nell’s legacy and my dearest Amelia’s as well. So thank you, for making both of them smile down on us during some of the hardest times of our year.” 

“I don’t even know what to say other than thank you— Would it be alright if I give you a hug?” He nodded and stood with his cane gently pulling you toward him. Without hesitation you got up and hugged the man, whose name you didn't even know. Those two had brought the two of you together when the both of you needed healing. His hug was warm and gentle, and it reminded you of your Papa. You looked up to make sure more tears didn't fall and stain his cute sweater vest. When the two of you pulled away from each other you looked over him and he was fighting his own tears as well. 

“Could I play you a song?” 

“Our favorite was Moonlight Sonata, do you by chance know it?” 

“That was my Granny and Papa’s song, I would be more than happy to play it for you.” He gave your hand another squeeze before he settled back in his chair. You looked over to the piano and took slow steps toward it while running your hand over the glossy white varnish. When you got to the bench you flourished your cardigan like she always did and sat. With a deep breath and a tip of your head to the heavens you began the beautiful melody. 

“N/n (nickname) you should play Granny and Papa’s song! I'll bet that they come in and dance to it!” You snickered at Dahlia while she was sitting next to you watching you play the piano. The two of you were being watched by your grandparents for the weekend. Your mom wanted you out of the house and your Aunt Mel needed to work some overtime so they both dropped you off and went about their adult lives. With a crack of your fingers –and a noise of disgust from Dahlia– you began to play. 

Not too long after recognizing the tune your Granny and Papa appeared in the room to watch as you played the piano with Dahlia sitting at your side. Dahlia was giggling as you moved across the keyboard, jesting and teasing you as she always did. Before it could get out of hand your Papa scooped her up and held her in his arms. 

“Now my star, if she is playing we don’t interrupt, remember? How about you dance with Granny and Papa instead.” You looked up over the piano to see them holding her in their arms as they started to sway with the tune of the music. You couldn’t watch for long but you could always see them swaying even while your head was down and you were watching the keys. Even back then you knew that this place was more of a home than your house could ever be. It was later that you found out that home wasn’t where you were, it was where she was. 

Your eyes refocused into the room you were sitting in while playing. It was more than just the older man now. Seonghwa was sitting in the chair you previously occupied. You gave him a smile and he returned it ten fold. The older gentleman was just watching you entirely focused on the song you were playing for him; and maybe for yourself. 

When you finished the song you stood up from the piano and walked toward the man who was silently crying now. You squatted in front of him and offered your hand. He took it and looked up at you with a watery smile. “Thank you, you played beautifully. It would make her proud.” 

“Thank you for letting me play for you, I might not be a crowd kind of person but I’m glad I got to play for you and your Amelia.”

”My Amelia would have loved listening to you play. Please, for both of them continue playing, even if it is just for yourself.” 

“I will, I promise. Thank you for your stories, it was wonderful getting to meet you.”

”You as well my dear.” You gently stood up from your crouched position with a pop of your knees. Seonghwa was immediately there, steadying you and offering you his hand. You gladly accepted it and gave it a squeeze before leading him back toward the elevators. 

“Oh, and Y/n?” You looked over your shoulder to the man, who was now standing while leaning on his cane. “Keep that man of yours, he looks at you like your Papa looked at your Granny every time she was on stage.” 

“I plan to.” You gave him a slight bow of your head and continued on your way. Seonghwa didn’t ask questions, he just took the lead toward the elevators. The two of you silently entered and stood together, he let go of your hand and pulled you into his side. When you reached your floor he kept you with him and continued back toward the room. 

“I don’t think any of the other boys are up quite yet so if you would like we can just lay in the living room until the chaos begins.” 

“I would love that.” He pushed open the suite door and let you in first before closing the door. You stood there waiting for him and he led you over to the biggest couch. You set your headphones on the table on top of the note you left earlier while he got comfortable. When you turned back to him he was lying there with his head near the armrest, he offered you his hand before pulling you down to rest on top of him. 

“I can tell you’re down today, let’s just take it easy and have a good rest day.” You nodded against his chest and completely melted into him. His heartbeat was soothing in your ears as you laid there, it offered you a steady rhythm to keep focus on. His gentle hands started running through your hair and you could have just laid there with him for the rest of your days. 

“Hwa?” 

“Yes dalnim (moon)?” 

“You remember how my family was at the concert last night?” 

“Yeah, they were at the barricade right behind you while you were filming.” 

“We get to go see them in my hometown.” His gentle movements stopped and he turned his head to get a better look at you. You had tilted your head against his chest to see his reaction and it didn’t disappoint. He was smiling so widely that you couldn’t help but to offer him a small smile in return. 

“We leave this evening right after we finish dinner. Jiwoon-nim is going to be driving the minibus for us which seats eighteen people so we will have enough room for the nine of us, my team, Asher and a couple of people from his team. It’s about a three hour drive so we will get there in decent time to be able to see my Aunt’s shop before we head to her house to crash for the day.” 

“That’s amazing Yeobo (Darling). I can't wait to officially meet them.” 

“I can’t wait for it either, we just have to make it through until dinner. I haven’t told anyone but the team about it so they can’t beg and bug me to leave earlier.”

”That’s probably the best thing you could do.”

”Thank you for not freaking the hell out, I’m not sure I can handle it right now.” 

“Oh, I’m freaking out but I can control it a lot better than some of the others.” You snickered at him before resting your hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes. You smiled at him again even though he couldn’t see it.

“My moon and stars, what are you up to? It’s too quiet.” Your Papa was nearly singing with each question while he was looking around for you and Dahlia. The pair of you giggled under the table while he continued looking around. 

“Darling, did you see where our two girls went? I can’t find them anywhere.” 

“I haven’t seen them dear.” Another round of snickers came from under the table before the tablecloth was lifted and your Papa appeared. The two of you let out a squeal and ran around him to get to your Granny. She was laughing while you picked up her blanket and hid under it. 

“They’ve disappeared again, they must be magic.” your Granny was still snickering while the two of you cuddled up to her as close as you could get. The blanket you were under was a knitted one so he could very clearly see you and you could see him. He walked over to the three of you and leaned down to look at the book your Granny was reading. 

“What do you have there, love?” 

“A romance novel, something you wouldn't like in the slightest.” He gave her a roll of his eyes but stopped as soon as her hand met his cheek with a smile. He leaned into it and just rested there with his eyes closed. You and Dahlia looked at each other before closing your eyes because you knew exactly what was going to happen next. You may not have seen the kiss but you felt the love pouring off of them. Dahlia let out a squeal and ran out from under the covers leaving just you unburied from the blanket and smiling at your grandparents. 

“You’ve got cooties now!” Dahlia shouted from the other end of the room. Your Granny just looked at her and shrugged while your Papa laughed and started chasing her. You curled back up with your Granny and she put an arm around you while she continued reading; content with just having you close. 

You felt the gentle hands before you saw them. Seonghwa was looking at you while he held your face in his hands. “Why are you crying Yeobo (Darling)?”

You hadn’t even realized that you let go of the tight hold you had on the tears that were going to be perpetual throughout the day. “Sorry, just a memory is all.” 

“I can tell there is something more going on, you don’t have to tell me about it but I’m here if you want to.” You gave him a nod of your head before you settled back against his chest. He resumed his earlier care and you just laid there with him; happy that he didn't push. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“What are you doing hyung?” Seonghwa’s responding shush was loud enough for San to hear but not so loud that it woke you up. He put a hand over your ear just in case you stirred while San approached the two of you.

“She left our bed where we were sleeping to come sleep out here?” San had taken the seat across from where you and Seonghwa were cuddled together, you had shifted in your sleep so you could barely be seen between the back of the couch and Seonghwa which is what prompted the question in the first place. 

“She went downstairs to get her morning drink originally, when I found her she was playing the piano for an older man.” San nodded his head before scooting closer to the edge of the couch so he could see you better. 

“Has she been crying?” Seonghwa offered the man a small nod in answer. “Why?” 

“I’m not sure, she just seems down today.”

“Do you think she burnt herself out yesterday?” 

“No, it’s something else. I’m not quite sure what it is though.” San nodded before snapping his head to look at someone who had just come out of one of the rooms. They didn’t even get a word out because San had his finger held up to his lips to make sure they were quiet. 

“What’s going on? Why do I have to be quiet?” Mingi’s gaze followed San’s gesture to you and Seonghwa on the couch. 

“She’s sleeping out here instead of her own bed?” Seonghwa nodded and looked down at your sleeping figure. 

“She’s been out for almost an hour now.” With a gentle move he pushed some of the hair back out of your eyes. His touch had made you bury your face further into him and he let out a small chuckle while the other boys cooed at the sight. Seonghwa was happy he took your glasses off right after you fell asleep otherwise they would be digging into your nose and his side at this point. 

The remainder of the men had emerged within the next ten minutes. Each of them questioned what was going on to receive the same answer each time; no one knows. All of them had curled up together and were either watching something on their phones or the tv which was set to a low volume with subtitles on. Hongjoong had taken to sitting right next to Seonghwa’s head on the floor while they watched videos together. The entirety of the time you were out like a light. A small knock on the door startled everyone in the room. Yunho was the first to get up and away from Mingi and Yeosang to go answer the door. 

When he pulled it open your team and Asher had stepped in. “We came to check in, we haven’t heard anything from Y/n this morning.”

Yunho motioned to the couch and all of them turned to see you and Seonghwa. Aurora and Willow almost immediately walked over to see the two of you closer. Forrest and Asher just gave small nods and stepped back out the door. Everything was off today, why weren’t they saying anything?

When Aurora got to you and Seonghwa she smiled down at the two of you before repeating the same motion Seonghwa had not too long ago. “Be gentle with her today okay?” 

All of the eyes in the room snapped to Aurora before falling to Willow who had started speaking. “Today is a hard day for her, before you ask, it isn’t our place to tell you what constitutes it. But know if she is a little more emotional or down it’s because of that. Just– Don’t pry too much unless you want to deal with her being upset and pissed alright?” 

“Do you think she would tell us if we asked?” 

“I’d say no, she doesn’t like to bring it up unless absolutely necessary because it hurts too much.” 

“And you can’t tell us what’s going on?” 

“Like Lo said, it’s not our place or our story to tell. We just wanted to warn you that how she acts today isn’t uncommon for her.” 

“Thank you for letting us know, do you think there is anything we can do to help her?” 

“Don’t coddle her too much, if you do she will just lock herself in a room and not come out until tomorrow. Don’t ask too many questions about it, let her offer anything about it up willingly. Don’t let her sit in silence for too long, have her focus on something and if she loses focus gently ease her back into the real world. She has a tendency to be extra spacey which isn’t good for her today. Don’t force her into eating, her stomach has never liked heavy meals when she is like this. Keep her stocked with snacks and small things; which we can go on a run for here shortly. Did I miss anything?” Willow turned to look over at Aurora who was focused on you entirely. 

“Don’t be too loud or move too fast, just take it slow and gentle. But not so slow and gentle that it makes her feel like glass; it has to be the perfect balance. Which I think Seonghwa has achieved already.” Some of the men let out small chuckles and looked over to the man mentioned. He had a small blush on his face while he looked down at you and back to the women standing behind the couch. 

Another small knock sounded on the door and Yunho opened it up again to be greeted with Forrest and Asher who had their arms full of grocery bags. “What did the two of you do?” 

“We went to the lobby to pick up the groceries we ordered. We got snacks for everyone for throughout the day and the things to make her favorite meal if she is up for it later. We have enough to make plenty for everyone here too.” 

“When did you become such a softie?” Everyone looked between Aurora and Forrest, the latter of which was giving her his best death glare. 

“Fuck off, you know good and damn well that we do this every time she is like this even when she hates my guts for it like last time.” 

“What happened last time?” Wooyoung –the tea master– had asked the question all of the other boys were wondering.

“I made her food and brought her snacks as an apology for pushing too hard. She took them and slammed the door in my face and said thank you a week later.”

”It was quite comical, she said thank you to me immediately.” Forrest’s death glare turned from Aurora to Asher. The two behind the couch giggled lightly.

”It’s probably because she knew you made the food and not Mr. Burnt Toast over there.” 

“That was one damn time!” 

“Yeah and so was fartlek and you see how long that has lasted.” Asher fell into a fit of giggles beside Forrest who was rolling his eyes so hard they almost went into the back of his skull. All of the boys let out chuckles at the memory of the first time they had heard that come from Willow’s mouth. The unbridled giggling joy that you had on your face was something none of them would forget. 

“Do you guys mind if we stay here with all of you today?” Aurora’s voice was quiet as she asked, something in her really didn't want to let you out of her sight. 

“Why would we ever mind that? You guys are our friends too.” Aurora looked over to Yunho with a small smile before returning her eyes to you. 

“We consider you the same.” Willow answered for the younger woman. She looked over all of the men in the room. They were watching the three of you, happy you had people who looked out for you outside of them. People that knew you better than they did right now. They were eternally grateful for everything they had done, and would continue to do for you. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You woke with a grumble and rubbed your eyes to clear your vision as best you could. Your sight was horrid which meant your glasses ended up off your face somehow. “Here dalnim (moon).” 

You looked up to Seonghwa and what he was holding close to your face. Thank god you hadn’t lost your glasses in your sleep; finding them was always a pain. You took them from him and put them on while sitting up in the process. You were met with the smiling faces of all of your forged family. “How long was I out?” 

You stretched your arms above your head and popped like a glowstick in the process. “Right around three hours.” 

You looked over to Seonghwa who was now sitting up with you. “You could have woken me up to move Hwa, you couldn’t have been comfortable.” 

“I wasn't about to incur the wrath of sleepy Y/n-nie. I was perfectly fine cuddling you while you slept, Joongie kept me company.” You offered the stubborn man a roll of your eyes and looked toward the man that was sitting on the floor. 

“Hi Shutterbug, did you sleep okay?” 

“Like a baby, Hwa’s pretty comfortable.” Many grumbles of agreement echoed around the room before you heard someone clear their throat. Your eyes flicked to Forrest who was looking at you with an amused grin. 

“You're a simp.”

”Like you’re any better.” He flipped you off and you offered him the same gesture while Aurora and Willow laughed. 

“We have snacks and we have movies and plenty of games to play, does anyone have a preference?” Your gaze slid over to Yunho who pulled out his switch and shook it in offering. 

“I’ll kick your ass in Smash Bros!” Wooyoung, ever the person ready to get into a yelling match over a game, had piped up almost immediately with his answer. 

“You’re on!” Yunho had run to his room to retrieve his dock. Hongjoong took a spot on the couch next to Seonghwa and gave you a smile before handing you a sweet snack. Your eyes widened and your stomach grumbled in response. You looked down at your stomach and let a small huff of laughter out from your nose while Hongjoong and Seonghwa chucked. Without hesitation you took the snack and opened it up so you could munch on it while watching the boys battle it out. 

Everyone was making themselves comfortable to watch Wooyoung and Yunho battle it out. You were shaking your head at your team while they argued over which kind of popcorn was better. The rest of your boys had scattered to gather materials to make a giant pillow and blanket pile on the floor so they could cuddle down together. Seonghwa and Hongjoong had joined the pile on the floor and you were just getting up to do the same before Mingi came over and scooped you up. You looked at him and he offered you a small smile before sitting on the couch closest to the pillow fort. 

“Hi Mingles.”

”Hi Muse.”

”I thought we were going to cuddle with them?” 

“I wanted you to myself for a little bit.” You let out a small laugh and cuddled up to him. He rested his head on yours as you watched Yunho and Wooyoung start their match. The smell of popcorn and many other snacks was floating around the room. You were trying not to laugh as Wooyoung got his ass kicked in Smash Bros. A small bowl of popcorn appeared in front of you and when you looked up you were met with Asher’s smiling face. 

“Don’t worry I didn't let Forrest touch it.” 

“Hey! Rude!” You were laughing in earnest now, their banter and teasing always got you; especially when it was about Forrest’s cooking skills. You accepted the bowl and set it in your lap before offering some to Mingi as well. He looked down at you from the TV and accepted it with a grin and a hum of satisfaction. Throughout the entire time the boys were playing you were just watching and listening to the chaos unfold. Eventually Wooyoung got tired of Yunho and handed off the controller to San who wasn't much better. He made it all of two rounds before handing the controller to Jongho who was more evenly matched with Yunho. 

You watched in amusement as they took turns kicking each other off the map, when it came down to it Jongho had been just a hair quicker. Down Yunho went and up everyone else went. The entire room was practically screaming and patting Jongho on the back for finally being the one to beat Yunho. You smiled softly at the men before turning to Mingi and whispering that you would be back.

Everyone exchanged looks and Hongjoong was the one to get up and follow you quietly. When you made it to your room you noticed that your bed had been completely torn apart. Your comforter must be amongst the giant pile on the floor out in the living room. You dug through one of your suitcases and produced the celestial quilt blanket you had brought as a comfort item. Honestly you could have gone without it but subconsciously your brain knew you would need it; especially for today. You wrapped it around yourself as you turned to your carry on bag and grabbed your switch. 

When you turned back toward the door Hongjoong was standing there with a smile on his face. “Didn’t have enough blankets for you Shutterbug?” 

“There can never be enough blankets Songbird.” He shook his head at you and turned to head back into the other room. You followed like a scary cloaked figure and when everyone caught sight of you with the quilted blanket tucked over your head so only your face was visible and your switch in hand they lost it. You paused and squinted at them, Aurora and Wooyoung both had their phones out to take a picture of you. As soon as they had whatever they wanted, phones started pinging simultaneously. With a roll of your eyes you settled back down on your own chair across the way from Mingi. He gave you a tilt of his head and you just gave him a small smile back. 

You had been held enough for the time being, You really didn't want to say anything but you could tell they were curious but they respected your decision. With the click of a button you started up your switch and got into one of the games that you could play when you didn't want to think too hard. Animal Crossing. As soon as the music started you turned it down and just sat there waiting for Isabel to get on with her daily news. What you didn't see however was how Seonghwa’s eyes lit up as soon as he recognized the music. He had almost immediately leapt up out of his spot on the blanket hoard, nearly knocking Hongjoong and Jongho over, to run to his room. 

“You have no idea the monster you just unleashed,” you looked up from the small screen to San who was watching you with a fond smile. 

“I know he loves it, I just wanted to play something that I don’t have to think about.” 

“Dalnim (moon)! Can I see your island?” Seonghwa had practically leapt over the armrest of the loveseat you were sitting on while he asked. The rest of the people surrounding you snickered at his enthusiasm. You just watched as his eyes sparkled with absolute utter glee. 

“Sure love, I will warn you. It’s not all that great because I don’t play much.”

”If you want I can help you with it, we can get you all of the black flowers and everything.” You gave him a nod and handed over your switch so he could set up the things he needed to so he could visit you. 

“I like the name of your island Y/n-nie.” Seonghwa hadn’t even looked up from your switch in his hands.

“What is it?” Your gaze flickered over to Yunho who was already watching you.

“Skyline.” 

“That sounds like a fancy place noona!”

“It’s really not, I’ve barely started.”

”It’s got lots of potential though! I especially like the grove in the middle with all of the fruit trees.” 

“I wanna see!” Wooyoung got up and padded over to the back of the loveseat you and Seonghwa were sitting on. He leaned over the back and watched over Seonghwa’s shoulder briefly before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Seonghwa only briefly looked away from the screen to acknowledge Wooyoung. 

“Do you want to hook it up to the TV so we can all see?” You gave Yunho a shrug and he took that as a yes. He got up from under San and Yeosang and gently took the switch from Seonghwa to set it up. When he was done he gave Hwa the controllers back and took Seonghwa’s switch and handed it to you with a kiss on your forehead. 

“You can run around on his island, I think he is too preoccupied with yours to protest too much.” You gave him a faint grin and turned to look at the screen in front of you. His map was immaculate, it had a vibe that just screamed Seonghwa. You took his little character and started running around to explore the island and meet his villagers. 

“Yah! What’s that in the sky Hwa?” 

“It’s a package! Y/n-nie do you have a slingshot?” Your eyes peeled from the fishing you were doing and looked at the large screen, sure enough there was a cute little white gift with a red bow floating across the top of the screen. 

“It should be in my toolbar somewhere, if not I might have the materials to make one I think.” Seonghwa let out a small noise of triumph as he found the slingshot and let the small rock fly, catching it on the first try. San and Wooyoung were clapping animatedly while he opened the gift. It was a recipe, something you don't have yet. 

“I’m going to have to get the things to make it for you, you’ll love how it looks!” 

“Is it something that is on your island?” He turned to look at you with a large grin. 

“Yeah, let me show you!” He gently took the switch from your hands and ran off to one of the corners of his island. When he handed it back to you he pointed to the small archway that led into his flower garden.

”That’s really pretty, I haven’t even made it this far on your island yet.” 

"There’s so many hidden gems I have stashed throughout it! I can’t wait for you to find them!” 

The majority of the rest of your morning and into the afternoon was spent snacking, playing games and all around distracting you. It was hard not to notice that they knew something was up and were eternally curious, but they hadn’t said a word. Most likely thanks to the four of your best friends that had been sprawled on the couches throughout the room. 

All of you fell into easy banter, you may have been more quiet than usual but you weren’t absent from the conversations in the slightest. They would ask you simple questions that you could nod or shake your head to and that was that. You just didn’t have the energy to hold a complete conversation but you knew the people in the room could talk plenty for you.

You had just gotten to your room to grab your charger when Seonghwa walked past and into his room speaking in hushed Korean. You watched him with curiosity. His shoulders dropped and his hand flew to his mouth. Oh no. You threw your charger on the floor and rushed to catch him as his knees buckled. The two of you hit the floor with a sickening crack of both of your knees. You took the brunt of the damage as he released a choked sob and curled into you. With gentle hands you took the phone from him and held it to your ear. 

“Hi, this is Y/n I’m not sure who you are but Seonghwa is not able to completely answer the phone right now. Is there anything I need to be aware of?”

”Y/n this is his eomma (mom), I was calling to let him know that his harabeoji (grandfather) passed away.” Her voice was struggling to hold on to some level of normalcy. 

“Oh eomma (mom), I am so sorry for your loss.” You had never met her, but from the little you had heard about her from everyone you knew she would be okay with you calling her mom. 

“Thank you, you are just as kind as he told me. Please take care of our boy.” And apparently she knew about you, you might have to ask Seonghwa –and the rest of the boys for that matter– if they had told their families about you. 

”I will, I swear it.” 

“Tell him I love him, and that I hope he can come home.” You repeated the sentiment to Seonghwa who nodded against you. 

“He loves you too eomma,” she whispered her thanks with a crack in her voice before ending the call. You dropped your arm and pulled the trembling man closer to you. He finally released everything he was holding back while his mother was on the phone. 

His sobs were the kind of sobs that completely wracked through your entire body. Ones that if they went on for too long you would feel it in the coming days. He was limp in your arms as you held him, your hand was tangled in the strands of his long hair just holding and grounding him. His face was buried in your neck and you could feel his lip trembling as he continued. He was leaning on you so heavily that you had to lean into the bed to completely support the both of you.”I’ve got you, let it out my star.” 

His sobs grew louder and you heard the rush of people coming down the hall. Hongjoong was the first into the room. You held your hand up to stop them from getting any closer as he bawled. He didn’t need to be overwhelmed right now and that’s exactly what would happen if all of them came to his aid. Aurora pushed her way through and you could see the surprise on her face that it wasn't you. “Go get some kind of tea, preferably something with chamomile in it for his sore throat, make sure to add some honey. Get comfort snacks and anything you can to soothe him. Just bring it to the living room because that’s where he will be shortly.” 

Yunho and Mingi immediately took off in search of the things you listed. “Someone go and get HyunJae, Jiwoon, and any head managers you can find. I need to speak to them immediately.”

This time it was Yeosang and Jongho who ran off. “I need help to get him off the floor and into the living room, he will need to be present in the meeting I am about to have.” 

San and Asher gently pushed their way through the crowd of people just standing in the doorway to get to you. “Aurora, grab my blanket and have it ready. Hongjoong go with her and be ready to hold him.”

The two you listed had immediately turned to leave the room. You looked down at Seonghwa who was clutching you so tightly you weren’t sure he would let you go. Your voice immediately changed from commanding to soft when you addressed him. “My star, we need to get up and go to the living room, do you think that is something you can do?” 

He shook his head into your neck, you held up your hand to the two that were standing close. “Do you want someone to carry you?” 

He shook his head again, he was still trembling. “Do you want to stay here for a minute until everyone gets here?” 

He nodded and released another choked sob. “Okay, that okay love. We can wait until they get here.” 

You looked up at the two standing close and they were just waiting, Wooyoung was still standing in the doorway watching everything. “I need the rest of you to do as much cleaning up around the living room as you can. If we are going to be having managers and important people here I don’t want it to look like a mess. I don’t care if you just throw it in one of the rooms, as long as it is out of sight I don’t care.”

Willow, Forrest, and Wooyoung nodded and walked away toward the living room to tame some of the chaos that was left behind. “You two stay close, I know I will at least need some help up.” 

Seonghwa’s shoulders had stopped shaking as bad while you were giving orders. He was still trembling just slightly. You knew, sadly out of experience, that this would come in waves. He would only be okay for a few minutes before he remembered and broke again. “I’m here my star. I’m here, always. I love you so much. We will get through this together, I promise.”

He gave you a small nod before tightening himself around you further. Your hand started running through his hair again and the one you used to signal people came down to rest on his back. There was a slam of the front door and you assumed Mingi and Yunho had hopefully come back with some kind of tea. Asher peeked his head out and let his tense shoulders drop which confirmed your suspicion. 

“Love, are you in a place where we can move?” He hesitated before offering you a singular nod, he pulled his head back from the crook of your neck and you moved both hands to cup his face. His eyes were bloodshot, the tears hadn’t completely stopped flowing yet. He rested into your hold as you wiped what tears you could. 

“Sannie, why don’t you take our star and go to the living room.” San looked between the two of you and gently helped Seonghwa stand. You watched as the younger man held almost the entirety of his weight as they shuffled out the door and into the hall. You looked to Asher with tears threatening to spill down your face. 

“His grandfather passed away.” Asher’s face dropped and went so pale you wondered if he was going to be the one who needed carrying. He straightened just slightly before offering you a hand to get up with. You gladly took it and he practically yanked you up off the floor in one swift motion. With a squeeze of his hand you let go and shook yourself loose. This was going to be one of the hardest conversations you were going to have on one of the hardest days for you. You reached up and wiped the tears from your eyes, let your mask slip into place, and walked out of the room with your head held high.

When you entered the living room everyone was seated just watching, no words were said, not even a peep from Wooyoung. You locked eyes with your team and their eyes widened. They had only ever seen this calm of a mask twice. The door opened and your boys walked in first followed by three people. Two of which you recognized and one you didn’t. 

“We heard you needed to speak with us and that it was urgent.” The man you hadn’t recognized stepped forward to address the room. 

“That would be me. Thank you for coming so quickly. I have just been notified of something that will most likely impact the next several days and even the next stop on the tour.”

“And that would be?” 

“Seonghwa’s grandfather has passed away.” A collective gasp resonated through the room and you didn't have to be looking at Seonghwa to know that he flinched. 

“And why would that impact the next several days and the next stop on the tour?” Your jaw dropped just slightly, you caught it in enough time that your mouth hadn’t parted. 

“It will affect the next several days because I would like to request on his behalf that he be allowed to go home to mourn with them, even if it is just for the next couple of days.”

“Request denied.” 

Excuse me?

“Do you not see the shadow of a man curled up in a ball on the couch?” You motioned in Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s direction, he followed the motion with his eyes before returning back to you. 

“I do, but he is a performer. We have fans to meet and things to do.” 

“Do you think the fans will want to see him like this? A shell of himself obviously hurting and not in his right mind?” 

“He can act.”

”So what I am hearing is that you have no sympathy for a man who’s role model just died?” 

“Not at this moment, no.” 

“Clearly you need a lesson in basic human decency then.” Jiwoon and HyunJae choked. There were a couple of slaps behind you; which was most likely someone covering their mouth. The man in front of you tilted his head like he was still processing the jab you took, so you decided to continue.

“Listen to me and listen very closely. I know exactly what he is going through right now. If I wasn’t allowed to grieve with my family I would not be standing in front of you right now. He has a right to go home and be with them in one of the hardest times of their lives. And in no way shape or form are you going to be able to stop me from getting him home so he can mourn with his family.” 

“I would like to see you try. I am in charge here and what I say goes.” 

“No, that’s where you are mistaken. With my family and partners what I say goes because if it doesn’t you are in for a world of hurt.” You stepped close to the man. 

“I have the entirety of the group behind me in agreement that he deserves to go home.”

“Just because they agree doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen sweetheart.” Oh, so he was one of those people.

“Alright, here’s what will happen if you do not agree to let him see his family. You see—“ you stepped away from the man and shrugged off your stars cardigan and laid it on the back of the couch close to your boys. Once you were happy with how it was laying you started wandering around the room picking up and looking at miscellaneous bits and bobs they had out. When you looked back at him you offered a smile, he was not about to do this to Seonghwa; you wouldn’t let him. He seemed to be regarding you with a little more caution now that he could see your tattoo covered arms; almost as if you were a threat to his authority. Which you most definitely are.

“I have a large following of people that would absolutely destroy this company and only leave Ateez and Xikers standing in its rubble. I have connections absolutely everywhere and if I were to, let's say, mention it in the presence of some of my college friends who currently work in dispatch it would be everywhere before you could say,” –you offered him a tilt of your head– “Request Denied.” You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly and stole a glance at HyunJae and Jiwoon, they were watching you with shadows of smirks. 

“I have a following of many Atiny who would riot in front of KQ at this mistreatment. I also have the authority to pull my entire team and leave you stranded without logbook videographers thousands of miles away from your hiring team. Which would be a massive loss for your company not only because you would be out here stranded without a filming crew for some of your most popular media, but also because if I even breathe a word of this to my friends and colleagues that I have made in the media business about this; they would never come to work with the company. To name a few, JYP Entertainment, more specifically Stray Kids and the now separated Got7, Isabell Marant, Louis Vuitton and even Taejong Song.” With each name you listed you held up a finger, your smile was menacingly calm as you recalled your friends in the industry.

“And you want to know the cherry on top?” Your smile dropped into the cold mask and you let your voice do the same. You fixed him with a glare that would send even the worst criminals cowering back into their cells.

“I have the balls to do every single thing I just said and more. So tell me— what’ll it be? Deny my request, and get filleted like a fish, lose your job, and bring the company down with you. Or accept my request and I won't speak a word of it to the outlets I have on speed dial?” 

“Are you threatening me?” 

“No, I’m making you a fucking promise.” You stalked over to him with the grace of a predator, getting close enough to see the flecks of color in his dark eyes. His eyes widened just a fraction, the only emotion he was showing on his stupid face. This was the calm fury that your teammates were afraid of, the one they had only seen twice before. How fitting that this happens to be the third time.

“I have been where he is. I have seen the damage it causes. I have mourned the loss of one of the most important people to me for the last three fucking years. I have thought back to the times I last saw her and cried because she is gone. I can still hear the monotonous beep of her heart flatlining. I can still see her sitting in that hospital bed while she took her last fucking breath three years ago today. And the only fucking thing that got me through that was my family.” You gestured to your team and Asher, before returning your body back to its previous head on position with the man that thought he had all the power here.

“You didn’t sit there and watch him fall apart while he was told some of the worst news he could have been over the fucking phone because he is a world away from his family. I did. I caught him when he fell to his knees with tears in his eyes. Me, not you.” You poked the man in the chest, he took a fraction of a step back at the harshness of it.

“I was in the same position he is right now when my Papa passed away because of a fucking prick like you and the only way I got to go see him was because my family demanded I get to leave. So you will not stand in my way of letting one of the men I love go home to his family who just lost one of the most important people to them. If it takes me paying out of my own damn pocket to send him home, I will. But you will not be leaving this room without agreeing and if it takes all night and a hundred damn promises then so fucking be it.”

The silence in the room was deafening. No one spoke, no one moved, no one even fucking breathed. The man in front of you was staring at you with wide eyes, he had shrunk back in your tirade. Jiwoon and HyunJae were both stock still and watching the man in front of you for his reaction, what you didn’t see however was that they checked on you too. Tears were rolling down your face and hitting the floor with silent grace. You stood there, head held high like a diplomat waiting for the right answer from the man just standing there in shock. You took a step toward him and he took one back before straightening himself out. He must have realized that he was cowering from a woman half his size. 

“He may leave as soon as we get a ticket back to Korea. HyunJae will begin her search immediately and Jiwoon will drop him off on the way to see your family.”

”Thank you, I hope you have the day you deserve.” You offered the man a tiny bow before turning your back to him. The click of his shoes against the linoleum was the only sound that echoed through the room. There were hesitant steps that followed him and then the door clicked shut. Your knees buckled –no one was quick enough to catch you– and you hit the floor for the second time today. You leaned forward on your hands and just stayed there. The tears spilled faster now, nothing was going to stop them. You slammed your fist against the floor and let out a wrecked sob.

“Fuck— Fuck!” You leaned down and rested your head on the floor curling into yourself. You couldn’t hear anything through the blood rushing in your ears. Your heartbeat was thundering throughout your body like a war drum preparing for a fight. A gentle hand met the curve of your spine, you flinched away from it. 

“Don’t touch me –Your voice wobbled– Don’t touch me, please.” 

The hand never left, “Kkulbeol (Honeybee)–“

“Please.” –Your voice cracked and you sagged farther onto the floor– “It’s not real. It can’t be. She’s not gone. She can’t be. Sangie, please tell me she’s not really gone.” 

You looked up to the man who was sitting before you trying to hold back his own tears. “Please—” 

He moved quickly, pulling you to him by the waist and the hand closest to him. “Sangie. —Please.”

“I can’t. I’m so sorry.” You fought against his hold, you fought as hard as you could until the words he uttered rang through you like a church bell. And finally, you broke. 

She’s gone. 

She left you. 

She’s really gone. 

She’s been gone for three years.

You’ll never get to hear her laughter.

You’ll never get to see her smile again. 

You’ll never get to hear her play again. 

The sob that erupted from your throat was earth shattering, just like the ground shattered beneath you when she took her last breath. You fell into his arms and let him hold your broken pieces.

You couldn’t think, you couldnt breath, all you could do was sob. Sob at the loss of one of your favorite people. Sob at the hurt of denial that she really is gone. Sob at the fact you will never get to see her again. The only thing you have now are memories and right now those didn’t feel like enough.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

Two of us. Two out of the nine of us were broken and on the floor. I locked eyes with Hongjoong who was cradling Seonghwa and he gave a nod over to her. Before I could move, Yeosang had made his way over to her. Nothing in the universe would have prepared me for her broken voice while she begged Yeosang to tell her it wasn't true, or the sob that ripped through her body when she finally let go. Everyone froze eyes locked on the pair that were sitting in the middle of the floor. Aurora, Forrest, Asher and Willow moved immediately. The four of them slid to the ground surrounding them. They sat and watched as their best friend fell apart; as our girl fell apart. 

She was gripping Yeosang’s shirt so tightly that it might rip. Her body heaved with her sobs as she let go of three years worth of grief and pain. Yunho passed me moving toward the group on the floor with the quilted blanket the others abandoned. Forrest and Asher split and let him settle behind her, without a word he settled it around her shoulders. Which only seemed to make her cry more; it must have been a gift from her Granny. She had moved to be more at the center of Yeosang’s chest as she sobbed. He was sitting there just holding her with his own silent tears falling. Yunho gently wiped his tears away before getting close and putting their foreheads together above your trembling form. A show of love and support for both you and the man holding you.

With one more look at Seonghwa, Hongjoong, San, Wooyoung and Jongho, I walked over and knelt close to Aurora at Yeosang’s back. All I could see of our Y/n was her arms and the crown of her head. She was trembling so bad that it was a wonder that she could keep a hold on Yeosang. I took one of the hands that she had clutched to his shirt and gave it a squeeze, she responded by squeezing my hand so tight it almost hurt. 

She was almost silent now as the sobs went through her like a freight train. She was hardly breathing because of them. Yunho had started running his hand up and down her back in a motion meant to ground her; it only served as a gateway for her to let more of this out. The sobs got worse and her grip loosened on my hand while mine tightened on hers. 

“We are here, you don’t have to hide from us.” Yunho’s whispered words reached my ears and in the silent room they echoed to the other half of the men that held my heart. Seonghwa and Y/n both let out choked noises as if the words spoken so reverently had struck them like a physical blow. 

“We love you both, so much. You will never have to go through this alone no matter what.” Y/n nodded her head and for the first time since the entire thing started I could see her beautiful eyes as she looked up. Her glasses were covered in tears and behind them her eyes were bloodshot. I reached out without even thinking and took the thick frames off her face. 

Her voice cracked as she offered a small thank you. The tears were still running down her face as she buried herself into Yeosang’s shoulder. Y/n’s team and Asher immediately got up and walked over to the kitchenette, which left only the four of us sitting here. 

“How about we get up off the floor princess.” She offered Yunho a shake of her head and buried closer to Yeosang while letting go of my hand and clutching onto him again. 

“Sitting on the hard floor isn’t good for your knees and you know it, let them help you up boo.” Willow’s voice carried over from the kitchenette, she had a small cup of what I could only assume was the tea Yunho and I had left to get. I looked back down at her and she had wrapped herself around Yeosang who was resituating himself so he could get up while carrying her. Yunho had already gotten up and was offering me a hand while Yeosang stood effectively carrying her like a baby back toward the couch. He had sat down and she didn’t separate from him in the slightest. 

Seonghwa had made it back onto the couch opposite her and was a lot better off than she was right now. Everyone watched with bated breath as Seonghwa got up and started toward her. Wooyoung was up in an instant making sure to unknowingly support the eldest of the men. He hovered his hand behind Seonghwa’s back as he made his wobbly traverse over to Y/n. When he sat down next to her she looked at him and then flung herself off of Yeosang’s lap and onto his. Who she was trying to comfort I had no idea, but as they collided everyone seemed to let their breath go. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“I’m sorry for your loss Hwa.” 

“I’m sorry for yours too, Y/n-nie” You grabbed his hand and just held it. When Yeosang moved you looked up at him with a tilt of your head. 

“Where’re you going?” You didn't care if you sounded like a little kid when you asked. All you cared was that he stayed close, that they all stayed close. He didn't even say anything as he scooted closer to the arm rest and just patted his leg in offering. You looked at Seonghwa who was already looking at you. Some kind of mutual agreement passed between the two of you as you moved to lay the back of your head against Yeosang’s thigh and Seonghwa moved to lay his head on your chest. 

“There you go, that’s a little better isn’t it?” You offered Yeosang a small nod and looked down to Seonghwa. He was facing the back of the couch and you could feel the tears soaking through your top. You gently started to comb your fingers through his hair in a hope to soothe his mind into a languid state. Your own tears threatened to spill again but you held them back.

”Don’t do that for his sake. He would want you to let it out too.” Yunho was looking over the back of the couch at you and Seonghwa before he draped the blanket that fell off of you over the pair of you. You slightly nodded and let the tears fall. Yeosang let his hand slide over the top of your head and comb through the strands of hair that had fallen against his lap. 

“Boo, do you want some chocolate?” You glanced up at Aurora who held out one of your favorite chocolates to you. You accepted the chocolate with a nod and expertly opened it. Without hesitation you offered some of the sweet treat to Seonghwa who gently accepted it from your fingers. Your other hand continued its soothing motions and before long the chocolate was gone and your hands were slowing. He had long since fallen asleep, the toll it had taken on his body finally catching up with him. You tried to fight it but with Yeosang’s gentle ministrations you couldn't. Your mind and body finally agreed on something and that was to let you sleep. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“Did I hear him say that we were going to see her family?” All of the men in the room turned to look at your team and your team plus Asher turned to look at Willow. 

“Yes. She was going to tell you before all of this happened. She has everything planned for all of us to go and meet the two that were in the crowd yesterday. We were going to leave not too long after dinner but I’m not sure how this has rattled her plans; especially because we will be making a pitstop to drop Seonghwa off at the airport once they get his tickets.”

”He is going to hate that he is missing it, but at the same time, him missing it needs to happen.” 

“Have you ever seen her like that before?” 

Willow’s gaze fell to Wooyoung. “This is the third time. The first one was when she demanded to go to her family right before her Granny passed. The second was when we quit the godforsaken company we left from before we made Beyond the Lens, she didn't break like that after that one though, we celebrated a new beginning. And well you saw the third one.”

”Why didn’t she fight to go see her Papa after he passed?” San’s question hit hard for your best friends, it brought up a lot of not so great memories surrounding that time. 

“She was catatonic– The loss of both of them within such a short period of time shattered her. We had to step in and threaten to quit unless she got to go see her family. She was there but she couldn't speak, it was fairly similar to the way she was acting earlier, only ten times worse. She didn't speak, she didn't move, she just sat there and stared into space. I ended up having to go with her to that one, and that was the first and last time we spoke about it.” Willow was staring at the tea she was stirring before bringing it up to take a sip of it. 

“Willow is the one person she tells about a lot of the things she struggles with. She tells me some things but she generally will default to her. She is the emotionally mature one out of all of us.”

“She has a normal brain while the rest of us are a little fucked in the head.” –Aurora and Willow both looked at Forrest and he raised his eyebrows– “What are you going to tell me any different?”

They burst into giggles in agreement with his oddly true statement. There was a series of small knocks on the door. Aurora was the first to reach it and as she opened the door HyunJae and Jiwoon both walked in. 

“I have secured tickets for him to fly but we will need to leave within the next twenty minutes for him to make it in time.” Everyone straightened, at the time crunch. 

“You guys pack their stuff, we do this without having to wake them up until the last minute. They need as much rest as they can get right now.” Hongjoong had fallen back into captain mode naturally. All of the men immediately nodded and scattered. 

“We will get her things around.” Aurora and Willow started their trek to your room and Forrest followed. 

“I’ll get your things ready Sangie, you stay here with them so they don't freak out if they wake up.” He offered San a nod of his head, before San got too far he left a small kiss on Yeosang’s cheek. 

It was some sort of organized chaos as they all packed things quickly. Thankfully your team could help because they had already packed their bags. Asher had gone down the hall to retrieve Athena and Ben and the two were waiting in the living room helping organize luggage when it was brought out. When he brought them to the room he immediately disappeared again to grab all of the bags from their suite he could. It may have taken him a couple trips but it got done nonetheless. 

“The minibus is ready for all of you to bring your luggage down.” 

“You two go and start taking the luggage, I am going to grab a couple more of our team to help out so we can get this done and dusted in the timeframe.” Athena and Ben nodded at Asher and started gathering what they could. Forrest was running back and forth between everyone toting luggage to the living room and leaving it for them to take down. A few staff members helped as well. By the time fifteen minutes had passed all of the luggage was packed into the bus downstairs, all that was left was to wake the two of you.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You were awoken by hushed whispers of your name. Your arms tightened around Seonghwa before your eyes opened to squint at the light filtering in from the blinds. “Our loves it’s time to get going.” 

“Hmm, what?” 

“Hwa has tickets back home but we have to go right now so he can make it in time.” At the mention of his name Seonghwa turned around to look at Hongjoong. He didn't even say a word before he lifted himself off of you. You watched with blurry vision as he shuffled off in the direction Hongjoong was leading him. 

“Come on Muse, let's get you up and to the bus.” Mingi helped you up and off Yeosang’s lap and you grabbed your cardigan and slid it on and then you snatched the blanket off the couch and wrapped it around yourself too. Before you could take a step Yeosang had his hand on your covered shoulder.

”We don’t need you emotionally and physically hurt so let's put these on yeah?” He gently slid your glasses onto your face while you offered him a small giggle. 

“There you are, come on let’s get moving.” Yeosang wrapped an arm around you and Mingi followed the two of you, close enough that you knew he was there but not so close that he crowded you. The staff who had helped were standing out in the hall waving at everyone, you smiled the best you could before getting in the elevator Yunho and Wooyoung were holding for you. 

“Wearing a cape in this hot weather is very daring of you noona.”

“I just wanted to be comfy,”

”Comfy and cute more like it.” You turned around and pitifully glared at Yunho who was grinning at you wholeheartedly. 

“I’m not cute, I’m ferocious.” Yeosang burst into laughter at your statement, the rest of the men standing close to you did the same. You cracked a small smile and the doors dinged signaling your arrival to the first floor. Athena was standing close to the front doors and gave you a small wave. She was dressed casually in a pair of deep green cargo pants and a muscle tee which accentuated her built arms very well. When you got close enough she started showing you to the bus where a crowd of people were standing. 

When they’d spotted you some of them snickered and others were covering their mouths trying to hide their smiles. “Everyone on the bus now that you’ve seen her.” 

Jiwoon was herding the men and your team onto the bus, it looked like he was herding cats. They had begun shuffling around aimlessly to put off getting onto the bus until you were close enough to go first. With a roll of your eyes and a dramatic blanket cape swish you got on the bus with laughter following you. 

When you stepped into the bus you were surprised at the way everything looked. By no means was this anything short of luxury. In the seats closest to you were piles of bags which were more than likely everyone's carry ons with their essentials in it. There were seats in a small lounge in the back and several single seats and double seats on either side of the aisle. You decided to take one of the seats in the lounge area for six. Once everyone else got on the bus there was a high possibility that you might be shuffled around anyway. Sitting down you tucked yourself in the back corner closest to the small tv setup. 

The boys were next and Seonghwa immediately came to sit by you in the middle seat. Followed by Hongjoong in the last seat and then Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi on the opposite side. Wooyoung and San had taken the two seats directly in front of the table. Willow took the seat across the aisle, Aurora was in the one in front of her then it went Athena and Ben. Forrest and Asher were directly in front of San and Wooyoung. 

“Is everyone on and comfortable?” There was a grumble of yes and Jiwoon had stepped onto the bus. A taller man had followed him and took the seat closest to the front of the bus. It was safe to assume that was Seonghwa’s personal manager. Not even a minute later you were moving. You looked over to Seonghwa who looked just about as miserable as you felt. Awkwardly you untucked the large blanket from yourself and threw the other half over him. The three across from you let out a snicker which meant you may have hit Hongjoong in the process. The man in question leaned forward to look at you with a smirk. You offered him a shrug and a half smile, he shook his head at you before returning to his lounging in the oversized reclining seats. 

“We will be at the airport in about thirty minutes.” This time no one really responded, you could feel the downtrodden mood of everyone here. Today was meant to be a happy day, why did the world have to fuck shit up when you were actually looking forward to this day. 

Your mom’s words echoed in your head. “Grief comes in waves my moon, and to be able to move past them you have to let them wash over you and recede at their own pace.” 

You took a hold of Seonghwa’s hand and he stole a glance at you, his face was swollen from all of the crying he did. You were positive you weren’t much better off. No words had to be said as you gave his hand a squeeze and leaned your head on his shoulder. He put his head on top of yours and the two of you just sat there and mourned together in the almost awkward quiet of the bus. 

“For the love of god can someone speak, it’s too damn quiet in here.” You snickered at Forrest who spoke loud enough that it almost made you jump. 

“Let them be quiet, it's been a hard day.” Asher was always the one that scolded him –aside from Aurora of course– but this time you felt as if it wasn't completely warranted. It was too quiet, it was awkward, and frankly you hated it. The normal chaos had completely disappeared from the group surrounding you. The weight of the emotions you and Seonghwa were emitting had taken everyone down with them.

“Rora, where’s my phone?” Aurora turned to look at you before she got up and walked toward the front of the bus. She pulled it out of your backpack and brought it back to you. 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem, you’re surrounded. I don't think you would have been able to get up even if you wanted to.” You offered her a smile before turning on your phone and finding some of the things you had. The mood on the bus wasn’t something that you liked to see, sure you could be grumpy, but when it came to the rest of your favorite people you wouldn’t let them feed off of your energy. Without any kind of hesitation you sent off the Pinterest board of memes you had been saving since your early days of being an Atiny. All of the phones you had phone numbers for went off simultaneously. Aurora was the first to check hers and she immediately lost it. She had helped you put this together forever ago and had completely forgotten about it. 

Within the next several minutes the bus was alight with laughter and maximum teasing. Wooyoung was cackling so hard you worried he wasn't breathing properly, Mingi’s laughter was silent and his mouth wide open. Yeosang had been covering the bottom half of his face the entire time, and from what you could see of Hongjoong he was covering his eyes but peeking through them to see the memes. You were grinning to yourself while you showed Seonghwa what you sent to the group chat. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face while you scrolled through all of the pictures. Small indignant noises came from him when he saw one of himself but other than that he was happy –which is exactly what you wanted– even if it was short lived. 

The laughter of everyone filled the ride until you reached the airport. As soon as the bus stopped everyone went silent, remembering why you were here. Hongjoong had moved quickly and held his hand out to Seonghwa. You lifted your head off his shoulder and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. “Please let us know when you make it, alright my star?” 

He gave you a small nod of his head and turned to press a light kiss on your lips. He put his hand on your cheek and briefly rested his forehead against yours before pulling away and taking Hongjoong’s hand. That simple goodbye may have been the hardest goodbye you’ve had. Hongjoong helped him up and you followed him out of the bus. When you stepped into the warm air you almost regretted keeping on the stars cardigan. You could see on Seonghwa’s face that he was trying to hold back his tears. His manager gently ushered him to the back of the bus so he could grab his small travel bag. You watched with a broken heart as the two of them walked toward the entrance and disappeared into the crowd. 

You didn’t have the energy to speak. Not after watching him walk away from you and into the airport. You quickly turned on your heel and got back on the bus, when you made it back to your seat you grabbed the blanket and pulled it up and over the top of your head. The three boys across from you watched silently while you laid your head on your arms on top of the table and let the tears fall. 

He was hurting and you couldn’t do anything about it. He was going into one of the hardest moments of his life by himself, sure his manager was going to be there but it wasn't the same as having a loved one with you. His family was going to be happy he got to come back but sitting on a ten hour flight with only your thoughts was only going to make his heartache worse before it could even start to get better. You had gone through the same thing, and it had torn you apart even if Willow was there. 

A hand met the back of your head gently and you could tell Yeosang was offering his silent comfort. You could feel your shoulders shaking as you quietly cried. The seat next to you creaked and you knew Hongjoong was back. He rested his hand on your back and rubbed small circles onto it. 

“Shutterbug, can you look at me please?” You shook your head. 

“I want you to see something.” You shook your head again. You didn't care about the meaningless thing he wanted you to see, you just wanted to stay in the dark comfort of your blanket. 

“Y/n. Look at me.” When he used your full name it both surprised and frustrated you. You flung off the blanket and glared at him, he didn't flinch like you would have expected. He was now standing at the end of the table offering you his hand. 

“Come here.” His voice was laced with quiet authority, something he didn't use on you very often. 

Your glare had worsened but you moved nonetheless. As soon as you were in range he pulled you up and settled his hands on your waist before speaking. “They’re still watching over you. They might not be here physically, but I know they are here.” 

He placed a hand over your heart briefly, gave you a small smile and pointed to something out the window. There on the banister of the airport was a pair of mated cardinals taking care of their young. 

You smiled with tears rolling down your face. Cardinals, messengers from the beyond carrying the thoughts and love from those who have passed; a symbol of hope and new beginnings. 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 33 Coming Soon)

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[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I think I am slowly understanding her business model. She looks around for products that fit her 'brand image' (I think she really enjoys this ... she has always enjoyed online shopping), has a smallish amount produced with her homemade labelling, adds a massive mark-up for selling price, and then sells online through a packaging company. She needs minimal staff because she finds the products online and makes the deals herself, usually with a few emails. (Her business model is not going to work if she makes too many or significant changes to the product she is buying for reselling, so none of her products are bespoke ... except maybe the wine, which she would want for stocking her own wine cellar.)

My conclusion is that she is not going to become a self-made billionaire because she is not selling enough product for that. But, she does have a loyal fan base who will buy whatever she is selling. The handwritten note with the parcel, the images, and videos and stories provided via social media are all aimed at this fan base. They do not care about the quality of the product or even that it is so expensive. A jar of runny fruit preserve delivered to them with a handwritten note from their idol makes them feel special.

So how much is she making, and is it enough to save her from bankruptcy in the future? And, most importantly, is there life for the brand after flower sprinkles?! I have been trying to work out some numbers but am making far too many assumptions to get an accurate answer. To independently support herself (or to become multiple properties, private jet and yacht wealthy) she needs a huge after tax annual income, which I do not think the brand is giving her. Luckily she still has Harry's money, so As Ever can be mainly an ego project!

Has anyone done some reasonably accurate calculations of how much pocket money this project is giving her? And do you think she realizes that As Ever will not grow beyond that, using the present business model and modus operandi?

Meghan's business model is dropshipping. She's just hiding it behind PR and fancy packaging, but that's essentially what she's doing - selling products she doesn't physically have but has to get direct from the manufacturer each time she holds a sale.

And of course she isn't going to be a billionaire with this, but she's definitely making some money because we know she's upcharging the tea three times over. The rest of it, there's far too many assumptions like you found, but we can safely say that based on the expenses we know the Sussexes have - mortgage and utilities (and water ain't cheap in California), lawyer and private security costs, Archewell and household staffs, the kids' schooling, the Disney trip - they're spending a hell of a lot more money than they're bringing in.

The only reason As Ever is profitable now is because of the brand's affiliation with Netflix, who does most of the heavy lift for Meghan. She's using their suppliers after all. Netflix is lending her their reputation to do this with/for, since Harry's so uninterested he abandoned ship. And because Netflix is doing more for Meghan than Meghan does for Meghan, I'm expecting a lot of it to crash and burn when the Netflix contract ends, which Meghan will hide behind her umpteenth rebrand relaunch.

Also, just want to make it clear - the Sussexes don't have private jets and private yachts now, so it's not something Meghan will/would have on her own. What the Sussexes actually do is mooch off friends to use their private planes and/or they have what's called fractional jet ownership (which is essentially like a timeshare or a co-op for private planes and includes programs like NetJets, which is like an uber but for planes).

[nostalgebraist]

Unsurprisingly, I have also done stuff like this. (Asking LLMs to read and review my fiction, I mean.)

In my most recent and elaborate attempts, I've framed the task as "liveblogging" rather than reading and digesting a whole book at once. I split the book into short batches of chapters and send the batches one by one to the LLM within the same context window, and ask it to make notes/comments/"liveblog entries" after reading each batch. And if we're nearing the end of its context window, I'll ask it to produce a longer notes-to-self document including anything worth capturing from the batches so far that it didn't include in earlier notes, then start a fresh context window and give it all of its earlier notes but not any of the text of earlier chapters, and proceed from there with additional batches of chapter text.

This is the same idea I described in this post (before I had tried it), in the parenthetical beginning with "A fairly obvious [?] idea [...]".

Compared to just putting in a whole book at once, this does make the LLMs noticeably better at following long and complex stories. In this setup I am often pleasantly surprised by the various nuances and connections they're able to pick up on, whereas if I give them either of my last two novels all at once (or in a few large, roughly context-window-sized chunks), they get hopelessly lost – often making very basic comprehension errors like "conflating two different characters," "losing track of the order in which events were narrated," "treating something as unknown because it was initially presented like a mystery, even though it got resolved later in the provided text," etc.

But it still feels like there's something basic that's missing.

I don't know quite what to call it... it's something like "the ability to notice things that 'don't fit', and to react with an appropriate level of surprise and investigative thinking."

This is not quite the same as "picking up on subtleties that some readers wouldn't notice," because they are often quite good at that – as long as they are the kind of subtleties that appear in books all the time, and which perceptive readers point out all the time. Relatedly, they are capable of producing intelligent-sounding and appropriate commentary on themes and writing quality and stuff like that, but only if that commentary... "fits into a familiar stylistic shape," I guess?

Like, given my prompts and my current setup, they can always produce things that sound in the abstract like "the kind of thing that a 'smart and perceptive reviewer' would write." And when the text/topic is conveniently shaped so that "generically smart-and-perceptive-sounding commentary" has a good chance of being correct, then they will often be correct in practice. But if a particular insight requires "reading against the grain" somehow, or "waking up" and realizing something bizarre is happening and saying "wait, wait, what the fuck??" in response, the LLMs will miss that insight every time.

From a human point of view, it feels like they're "not fully awake" in some sense. Or maybe "crashed," in Almost Nowhere's terminology. Like they're doing this often-virtuosic performance, but doing it from "muscle memory" in a rote and unreflective way. Unable to break out of a familiar and comfortable pattern once they've fallen into it, even when it's contextually appropriate to do so.

----

The reaction you report to TNC's ending feels like another instance of this familiar trait.

I'm not saying "they shouldn't have liked the ending, that's objectively a mistake" – but rather that this particular way of diverging from human reader reactions feels familiar to me. If they're already producing smart-perceptive-reviewer-babble that's broadly very positive, then a "sudden swerve" like "...but even though the first 80% was great it took a nosedive at the end" is just not the kind of option that's available to them in the moment.

It's quite possible that the underlying model still (internally) "notices" some of the things that human readers find odd or different or frustrating about the ending. And presumably it also "knows" in some sense that "it's great up until the ending" is actually not that uncommon as a reader response to fiction. So I don't totally know what the underlying causes are, here. In this case, the glaze/sycophancy thing probably plays a role; there's also the fact that saying "it was great except for this one part which sucked" requires making additional choices (which part sucked, and why?) and could end up looking very wrong/strange if done badly, whereas "I loved it!" is at least a safely mediocre take as long as there isn't anything about the text that obviously "requires" objecting-to (like a beyond-the-pale ideological stance or something).

----

Here's another example. My novel The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen does something unusual with the story's position in time. At first it looks like the story is set sometime in the 20th century, probably the 1950s or 60s, but as you continue reading you keep running into these odd details that don't fit that period but do fit some other part of the 20th or 21st century.

There are a ton of these "anachronisms," and they're not very hard to pick up on (if you're a human). Most people who've commented on the book have mentioned this aspect, and as for the ones who didn't, I imagine they noticed it but just didn't feel like mentioning it.

However, although this time period thing is obvious in a certain sense, it has some properties that (I suspect) stack the deck against LLMs "noticing" it in practice. For one thing, it's very uncommon for stories to play with time in this exact way, so you can't get there just by "saying the sort of stuff that smart perceptive readers often say" – you need to actually notice specific things that are true about this particular book even though virtually every other book doesn't have them. Also, this aspect is never explicitly brought up by the text at any point, so you really do have to notice it all by yourself. (It's very noticeable! But if you somehow fail to notice it, the book will not pick up the slack for you.)

Anyway – as you no doubt expect give the above – when I have LLMs read TAoHS, they make plenty of perceptive comments about other aspects of the book, but they never notice and comment on the "anachronisms"!

This is a glaring point of divergence from human reader responses, which almost always mention them.

Sometimes, the LLM will silently pass over the topic of the time period. Other times, it may even praise the consistency of the temporal setting (which in fact is inconsistent on purpose), as in this unfortunate compliment from OpenAI's o3 (spoiler-ish stuff glossed in brackets by me):

Minor note: I appreciate how the book grounds its 1960s setting through specific details - [three specific elements consistent w/ a 60s setting] all feel period-appropriate while serving the larger themes about [accurate brief account of some larger themes].

The best I've seen any LLM do on this front was Claude Opus 4 praising "good worldbuilding about this alternate 1960s" in one liveblog entry, although it didn't elaborate on this, or mention it later as a notably distinctive quality of the book (which, again, is a thing that most human reviewers do).

Thoughts on Chilli, Northen Caves, and When I Win? Personally they're probably my favorite things on the whole list, but I feel like they never got as big a reception as a bunch of the other stuff. :(

The Northern Caves: I really really loved the first 80% of so of this. I grew up with forums and their particulars, the ways in which you'd come to know the personalities, and how the superfans would get into these long, drawn out debates that were steeped in the prior histories of conversations. There's something really magical about how TNC does this, and the "found media" elements work really well. It reminded me of the better parts of House of Leaves, I guess, and was also just hugely nostalgic (since I was in high school during the Forum Years). The philosophical stuff was also great, and the series they were reading felt rich, and nost is a great writer with wonderful prose. And then I just did not enjoy the ending at all. I think that in spite of that, I recommend it highly, and think it's one of the things on the webfic bingo card that's most worth reading.

Chili and the Chocolate Factory: I adored this one from start to finish, and also Dahl was one of the authors whose works I was steeped in growing up and also at the time it was coming out I was rereading a lot of Dahl's books with my son and also there are a few references to me and my discord server within the work. So I'm biased heavily in favor of this one, but I also also think that it's got this crazy energy to it, an insane density of ideas and weird things, and a wonderful sense of humor. Remy would probably hate to hear me say this, but I think he's one of the best writers I know. It's really really rare for me to read something and have so many individual pieces of it stick with me. I do wish that it were easier to get people on board with, because I have no clue how to pitch it to prospective readers.

When I Win: A few things here: I am just not a Pokemon guy. Red and Blue came out in 1998, when I was 12 years old, and everyone at my school was obsessed with it, and I just did not get into it, and had to suffer through a lot of Pokemon conversations I wasn't interested in. It's like the opposite of FOMO, then you wish that everyone would shut up about this thing you're "missing out" on. So whenever I read Pokemon fic, it's an uphill battle to care about the core thing, and I have enough Pokemon knowledge to get by, but sometimes it'll end up feeling like homework if I have to look up references or jokes or just understand things. Another thing is, I think Bavitz and I have very different tastes in character dialogue. I noticed this with Cockatiel x Chameleon too, and I suspect that when I get around to Bavitz's other stuff I'll see it there too. The differences in speech seem really exaggerated to me, blown out of proportion, idiolects heightened, and I think I've gotten in disagreements with people over whether this is actually true or not, but it's definitely how it feels to me. I found Cely in particular to be fairly grating whenever she spoke. This is a personal preference thing, and I don't know how much it generalizes to other people; I'm not sure that I've seen anyone else mention it, but I also haven't read a bunch of reviews.

So with that said, Bavitz is a skilled author who goes into a story with Something to Say, who milks the premise and theme for what it's worth, and brings a literary sense to his works. The fight scenes are really well done, even for someone like me who is not a Pokemon guy. There's a lot that I found interesting about competition and stagnation, the capture of competitive drive. Bavitz likes to think about the end of history a lot, and it shows here. It's thankfully a concept that I find interesting. I enjoyed the core relationship of Cely and Toril, it's a good, interesting dynamic. Without spoiling it, the ending worked well for me. Well worth reading.

[joaosnovia]

Can I ask João something? Where the reader is disappointed with her brother for treating her badly because his girlfriend doesn't like her. So João, the reader's best friend, ends up helping her – he likes her – I don't know if that got confusing... That was the dream I had about him It was so cute and sweet, that I woke up bursting with cuteness!

love you girl 🫶🏻💞

ꨄ - 3005.

WARNINGS:: none?

WRITERS NOTES:: first of all my bad for this taking too long but IM DONE WITH EXAMS atleast! best believe all the fics remaining will be posted 🥰. also ive come to the conclusion that fics WILL be named after songs if i can’t find a good title

TAGS:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp @universefcb @mariejuli

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you’re sitting on the curb outside your house when he pulls up.

joão doesn’t ask questions. just parks, gets out, and sits beside you. hoodie low over his forehead, rings on his fingers, quiet warmth in the way he bumps your shoulder.

you don’t say anything.

not at first.

because how do you explain that your own brother, your built in best friend since diapers, has started acting like you’re too much, just because the girl he’s dating can’t stand you?

‘was it bad?’ joão asks gently.

you nod, eyes stinging.

‘he told me to grow up. said i make everything about myself. all because i asked if we could hang out for a little. just us.’

joão goes silent.

too silent.

then:
‘you know he’s wrong, right?’

you shrug, wiping at your cheek. ‘maybe he’s not. maybe i am too much.’

‘don’t say that.’

you almost laugh. not because it’s funny. because it hurts.

‘he’s my brother, joão. if he doesn’t like me, who will?’

he turns to you. fully. and it’s like the whole world stills.

‘me.’

you blink. heart stopping.

‘what?’

‘me,’ he says again, quieter now. ‘i like you. i always have.’

your lips part. nothing comes out.

joão’s hand finds yours on the cold concrete. his thumb brushes your knuckles like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

‘you’re kind. you’re loyal. you’re real. you care too much, which isn’t a flaw, it’s the best part of you. your brother’s lost in his own world right now. but i see you. i always have.’

your chest tightens. something sweet and unbearable rising in your throat.

‘why didn’t you ever tell me?’

he smiles, soft and sad.

‘because you always looked at me like your best friend. but tonight? i couldn’t just sit there and let you believe that you’re hard to love.’

you stare at him. warm eyes, hands on yours, like he’s been waiting for this moment without even knowing it.

‘you don’t have to say anything,’ he adds quickly, nervous now. ‘i just wanted you to know. you’re enough. more than enough.’

i see you. i choose you. always.

it’s just easier that way. soft little moments stolen in between life, his fingers brushing yours under the table, his voice in your ear when no one’s looking, his lips on your forehead when he thinks you’re asleep.

he’s gentle with it. with you.

like love should never have to be loud to be real.

and you’re so full of it, the quiet kind, that you don’t even care that it’s secret.

until your brother finds out.

it happens one weekend at a family lunch. you hadn’t planned on it. joão was just supposed to drop you off. but then your mom insisted he stay. and your brother, already moody, already attached to the girl who still doesn’t like you, was just… waiting to pick a fight.

so when joão grabs your hand under the table and you forget to let go?

yeah. game over.

‘are you serious?’ your brother blurts, eyes flicking between you two like he’s seeing ghosts. ‘you’re dating him?’

you flinch a little. not because he’s loud, because you weren’t ready for this to turn into a thing.

‘yes,’ you say quietly. ‘we are.’

he scoffs. leans back in his chair like it personally offended him.

‘you’ve got to be kidding me. is this some attention thing? or are you just trying to piss off my girlfriend?’

you freeze.

and joão, ohhh he’s already sitting up straighter.

‘don’t talk to her like that,’ he says, calm but sharp.

your brother narrows his eyes. ‘stay out of it, man. this is between me and her.’

‘not anymore,’ joão says, jaw tight. ‘you lost the right to speak to her like that the second you started choosing your girlfriend’s opinion over your own sister. and for what? because she’s kind? because she wants time with you?’

your brother’s mouth opens. then shuts.

you just sit there. stunned. breath caught in your chest.

joão turns to you, voice gentler now.

‘you don’t have to take this. not from anyone. not even family.’

and something clicks in your chest.

because for so long you thought standing up for yourself meant starting fights, or walking away, or crying in secret. but now, now there’s someone who looks at you like you matter. who backs you without needing to be asked.

you reach for his hand.

he squeezes it tight.

your brother is quiet for a while. then:
‘so this is serious?’

joão doesn’t hesitate.

‘it is.’

and you… you smile.

because yeah.

it is.

[gihussysupremacy]

After the pushback I've recieved for my anti spinoff takes, I have carefully considered my stance and decided to shit on the spinoff more.

Note: I am open to discussion about this, I would not mind different points of view on the matter. However if you come to my inbox to tell me I need to do everyone here a favour and delete my tumblr, there is no discussion to be had between us. Thank you.

Anyway, back to the topic.

Why did S3 end with the implication that Korean games were being played in the US? That is idiotic. Idc that they started in Korea or whatever.

The point has been that they are "easy" and everyone already knows the rules and most likely has played before. So what gives?

Way to drill in how utterly unoriginal, surface level and sloppy this spinoff would be. As if we don't already know.

Also, you are going to have a hard time convincing me that rich Hollywood fucks would create a meaningful, nuanced and delicate way to show the struggles of working class and poor people, or hate on capitalism as beautifully as HDH has done.

THE capitalism country publishing deep meaningful anti capitalist art while staying true to the source material? Yeah ok.

The spinoff feels cheap and insulting to the original work. It shows that HDH wanted there to be one season and one season only. Netflix and corporate greed destroyed a good thing.

Stop kicking him he's already dead.

Sorry for being so anti-usamerican it will happen again.

Even before s2 and s3 it didn't feel good seeing Squid Game merch this and that everywhere I looked.

I get that you need to promote stuff for people to see it. I get that everyone needs to be paid for their work. But that didn't even happen did it? As per usual, the worker (HDH) was being exploited and got measly dimes for his work, especially considering how much money the series brought in.

I don't want an Inho redemption arc!!!

I obviously don't know if that's what this is aout but it frightens me that it is possible.

That character is irredeemable in my eyes and I don't want to see attempts at making him the good guy. Let him be an evil cunt in peace. That is his right. And it is our right to have a villanous villain.

Inho is an abuser and while yeah, he might not have created the games, might not be in control of them either, he DOES uphold the system. He DOES contribute to it. He does NOTHING to stop them before it's his ass and the VIPs on the line.

What kind of a message would it send if we were suddenly supposed to forgive a man like that?

And I know there are people who do forgive him already, who can justify his redemption. That is fine. That is your right. But again, you're going to have an easier time teaching a fish to climb a tree than convincing me of this.

Note that I am not an Inho hater, I love the character despite what they did to him in S3. But I'm not an apologist either. Two things (loving him and needing him to die) can be true at the same time.

This might also seem like I'm hating and shitting on seasons 2 and 3. And while yes, I have been shitting and hating on S3, there ARE good things to it too. I will make a different post about them when I feel like I've marinated in my hatred enough.

But you can not convince me that S3 was anywhere near the quality of S1 and S2. Especially S1.

Sometimes it's best to let things go. Let them be as they are. Things go off rails, it happens, but you don't keep trying to drive the train after that happens, do you?

Then there is the fact that the spinoff ALREADY can be blamed for bad decisions and outcomes when it comes to the series.

As @pascalation originally said in the ask, it HEAVILY seems like S3 was used as a stepping stone to get to this fuckass spinoff. How it seems that was more important than giving us answers and closure.

The characters of S2 got butchered for this too. All that love and care they were introduced and handled with, only for it to turn superficial and meaningless just so we can get it over with.

How is it that after that injustice, I'm supposed to believe that the root cause of it is going to be.... Good? Satisfactory? Worth sspending my time on?

You know what, if there really is a spinoff, I'm eternally thankful to HDH for killing Gihun. Thank you for protecting my beautiful wife from the absolute shit they would have dragged him and everything he stands for through.

I'M NOT SAYING ANY OF THIS BECAUSE I DON'T CARE FOR OR LIKE THE SERIES (including S3), I SAY ALL THIS BECAUSE I CARE ENOUGH TO BE MAD WHEN IT GETS WRONGED.

Thank you if you read it all. As I said, I am open to perspectives. I am not an authority on this, I am not a god, I can be wrong.

I'll open my asks again soon and you can yell at me there or if you can't wait, in my messages.

im not watching the american spinoff either. as if im gonna give my time to the thing that led to the sloppy ending of one of the best shows ever made. it felt like season 3 was so rushed and tied up quickly just to lead in to the american version. like they reduced a masterpiece into a stepping stone to get to the spinoff. western media ruining things as per usual. taking attention away from lesser known (lesser known worldwide) directors/writers/actors to add to a market already saturated by americans and america centric views and stories. without my beloved korean players, culture, stories & language im simply not interested.

You're so right! Completely agree.

Squid Game has been an amazing story and also a great oppurtunity to learn the nuances of Korean culture. The nuances of the relationships and the characters and their world view is tied to the context of their culture.

It has not only enriched the story, but made it.

I'd like to highlight Sangwoo and Gihun here. In western culture you would not see that, or if you did it would be considered odd.

Sangwoo's need to respect his older brother ( 형 ) and the conflict his frustration with Gihun brought into that.

How much of Sangwoo's need and pressure to be/appear perfect was tied to the need to please his elders, parents and Gihun too, who were proud of him for sure but who I believe drove him to a workaholic repressed adulthdood.

These nuances can be seen in other relationships too, and in attitudes and behaviours the characters exhibit.

This will not be present in western media. OBVIOUSLY in western movies, series and literature there are meaningful relationships, complex characters and intruiging points of view.

But as you said, we have seen that. We continue to see it.

For me personally a big part of enjoying Squid Game was the new environment, removed from the western context.

(I have watched other Kdramas but this was a social commentary so of course it highlights the society it is commenting on differently than romance or horror pieces)

I also don't want to see a redemption arc for Inho, and I'm scared they're going to do that. I don't want it. The thought makes me SICK to my stomach.

Not to even get started on how ironic it is that Netflix is milking dry this work of art that was made to critique corporate greed and how it rots everything it touches.

[mosspodge]

HEY MOSSY WHATS UR FAVORITE SONG im looking for new music :]

first of all, thank you for the huge compliment!!! you should also know you are saying this to someone who spent 15 minutes listening to the spider man game pizza theme in the car yesterday so. Yeah!!!

All that sillyness aside, I listen to way too much music (my usual playlist is +1,300 songs) of way too many different genres and i am happy to share them with anyone and everyone!! Gonna try and limit this to 10~ish songs for now, since otherwise I will end up with a list 100 songs long lol. Also I am a rare Apple Music user so I'll try and link all the songs to youtube so that they're easier to listen to!!! also bc Spotify confounds me lol OK there was WAY more text than i thought so MUSIC RECS UNDER THA CUT

MOSSY'S COOL MUSIC RECS

DRIVING MY LOVE - Anri GOSH her entire TIMELY!! album is amazing, but this is the song that's been sticking in my mind the most lately. Citypop is a very fun genre of music that came about in Japan in the 70's, and Anri had (to me) some of the most fun songs in the genre :>

New River and Soap - The Oh Hellos OH BOY OH BOY THE OH HELLOS!!! I LOVE this band!!!!! If you were on art social media a couple years ago you probably have heard Soldier, Poet, King, which is by and large their most popular song. New River is one of my go-to songs when I am going through it. Absolutely love the imagery of the song, allowing new and difficult experiences carve new landscape through yourself. Soap, it is important to note, is the culmination of their four-part EP series Four Winds, and is kind of the resolution to that whole series of songs. It's really interesting and worth looking into! I must note that this is a Christian band in case you find that uncomfortable, but I would still recommend checking them out even if you do- the Four Winds EPS focus specifically on their struggles with God amidst the uh. Bad US Political Climate and all that. Most of their music on the topic is pointed and metaphorical (see: Passerine) and so that knowledge isn't super necessary to enjoy the music, I just think it's neat :] And not every song necessarily touches on the subject- these two specifically don't! Also I GOT TICKETS TO SEE THEM THIS YEAR LETS GOOOOO sorry this section is so long i just really like this band

No More What Ifs - Persona 5 Royal, covered by the 8 Bit Big Band Ok back on track lol. This song is absolutely my favorite from the game, but MAN THIS COVER. The 8BBB is one of the best video game cover bands out there imo, and they COMPLETELY outdid themselves with this one. They actually added a few extra lyrics to the song to better round out the overarching theme of both it and the game and MAN. i will never listen to another version again. The album this will be a part of isn't out yet sadly, but I would 100% recommend checking out their other stuff!

Bones in the Ocean (2023 vers.) - Longest Johns There's a lot to be said about this one but it's best if you just listen to it tbh. I will say that this is a new recording of one of the band's first original shanties, and that it includes all former and current members. Would highly recommend all the other songs on this album too, aside from this song it's a very fun listen! But ourgh this song,,,, if i had time I'd make a dozen animatics for it

エビチャーハン! (You’re Telling Me A SHRIMP Fried This Rice?!) - JamieP best miku song no quastion

'Tis Autumn - Nat "King" Cole Trio There's only one song to kick off the fall season and it's absolutely this one! Also The Autumn Leaves, which Nat King actually sung in Japanese once which is cool. He was an incredible musician and all of his songs are great, but Tis Autumn is probably my favorite :>

Catch You Catch Me (Card Captor Sakura OP) - Gumi Do you want to get ready in the morning feeling like a magical girl? Boy howdy do I have a song for YOU! Seriously the amount of people I've shown this song to under that premise who have come to me the next day saying that it worked is a lot lol. Card Captor Sakura has been a big comfort show for me and MAN the music is *chefs kiss*, especially the OPs!!! Linked the full song, but I would also recommend watching the opening itself :D

#41 - Dave Matthews Band "wow you like dave matthews lol thats such dad music" ok listen. I have been listening to DMB since before I was born. Saying I'm biased is probably an understatement here. But his songs are very good and I like them ok. Anyways #41 is a really stupid name for a song but I love the band in it, the weird lyrics, just the overall jazziness of it. If you wanna listen to more Dave stuff I would highly recommend the stuff from his solo concerts with Tim Reynolds- its just 2 guys jamming out on guitars, it's great. Stuff like One Sweet World, Still Water, Grey Street (This one's a tough listen for me but I love it). For the fun full band stuff I love So Much to Say, Ants Marching, just the older albums in general

Stay I Pray You - Anastasia (The Musical) I am allowing myself ONE (1) musical song. My sister is a huge musical fan and an even bigger Russian History nerd and an even BIGGER Bolshevik Revolution nerd so I watched Anastasia with her a lot growing up. Eventually they made the musical and it's actually tied for my favorite (Phantom is pretty hard to beat)! I got to see it tour and MAN. all the music is amazing, but this to me is the standout song- largely because this song, despite not being in the movie, actually was kinda in the movie- there's this bit in In the Dark of the Night that they took and made into a completely different song which is a fun nod to the movie!!

Music to Soothe The Savage Snake Plant - Mort Garson Got overwhelmed by my options at this point so I'm defaulting to one of my favorites! I believe another song off this album got popular recently, but I will forever know this one from it being used in the final scene in The Adventure Zone, my first and favorite DnD podcast! Honestly I could recommend a dozen songs from the podcast, but this one in particular always sticks out to me. While I'm here you should also go listen to The Adventure Zone, it's a great podcast, especially their first story (Balance, just start at the bottom lol).

wow that. was a lot more than I meant to write lol. Special shoutout to Virtual Insanity, the bane of my existence and my personal hell. It was my #1 most listened to song last year coming to a total of *checks replay* 239 plays, over 50% of which occurred within the span of a week. another shoutout to The Housebuilding Song. i swear i listen to you once a year how are you always in my top 25

[angy-grrr]

I don’t get why ppl keep saying bkdk is dead or Horikoshi broke off bkdk. If that were true, this extra would look very different as you pointed out multiple times. The extra was still heavily focused on them and I hate how ppl are letting one no dictate the entire relationship. Izuku asks him to be a special lecturer too. I think the no just needs more clarification but other than that it is mostly fine. If a ship were to be shut down by the creator, it would look very different. Same logic for if a ship were to be canon, it would look different than what we got in the end for izu///ocha. This extra was bad in different ways from ships. It was just a whole lot of nothing that doesn’t meaningfully add anything to the story but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised since it is an extra. It is still an ambiguous ending that can be pretty fixable by one shots by Horikoshi in the future or even better by fanfiction lol. Except for the Toga part. That is just inexcusable

himiko-chan :(

and yeah! like even tho 431 is terrible not only for pairs but also for the whole story, it only confirmed Katsuki feels something really strong for deku and he doesnt notice bc he doesnt consider himself to be that great; they keep talking, and they keep being in each other's lives with no problem -they also imply they will work on communicating their feelings, as the special lecture is about this topic and deku also thinks katsuki doesnt see himself in a high regard. This is actually something that could be used in the future, as their relationship and arc isnt completely finished -in the way that they arent at a point of no miscommunication, no yearning, etc. They still need something to work with in regards to themselves and each other in the process. When it comes to midoriya and uraraka, idk what exactly could develop from what 431 tell us -seems to be mostly about paying attention to the ppl in your life instead of just letting life happen I guess? But idk what conversation or arc they could have together that wasn't resolved already, it was a really weird choice to focus on them as if there needs to be more explored -which is why choosing to not make them talk to each other nor think of the other in these years is potentially interesting, like the only way they could actually need to talk things up or have a separated special moment is if they just stop being friends and want to talk more from now on. Like, if they kept their friendship these years and were part of the other's life, there wouldnt be a moment like this at all.

I think it hurt mostly ochako -and deku if we interpret it as "deku just wants to be teacher, he is super happy about it, and loveeees so much his ex bestie after 8 years of no contact and never thinking about her"-, more than the bkdk relationship.

It would be interesting to see those one shots, if he does them -I know he said he wanted to do more things and little drawings and content for it, but idk if he will do something elaborate or just one page of something silly. I think he still has to opportunity of working with the material and make something at least not this bad -or completely ignore 431 and just continue with their adventures like 430 implies lol If he wants to double down with the "romance" I have no idea how he could do it with what he has tbh, unless he just ignores the plot and their personalities.

[cosmicterrorthe8th]

Another Grant headcanon:

I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.

Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.

[a-gay-bloodmage]

Short Breeches

(Blackwall x Mallory Trevelyan, Sera & Mallory Trevelyan)

Sera figures that at least half of the Inquisition has a crush on the Inquisitor, Mallie. As a gift to the people, Sera devises an ingenious prank—seal Mallie's wardrobe and leave her with nothing but a tank top and a pair of homemade shorts. The Inquisitor, Mallory Trevelyan, does not exactly appreciate trying to keep up a fake female identity when nearly everything is on display in front of the Inquisition and the Warden Blackwall.

[james-stark-the-writer]

just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.

the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.

putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.

ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.