#i will edit and add them what I find them tho!!! :DDD!!

[ronnyraygun]

Buzz and Tim…my awful little creatures…ily…

[twig-in-a-wizard-hat]

ya know what making my first post post cuz sick of my phone crashing :C , it killed my tags, it did. funny commentary gone, it is. also worried there is a char limit for tags overall and maybe that killed them :c , I’ll have to look that up later I want my old thoughts to exist into the world (hello void/world, and probably OP who is reading this)

cannot totally recreate vibe, so just shooting them out there, sorry for any whiplash or spelling errors

can’t remember most of what I said about Lilly (rip), but although her death would be totally deserved, my love for her definitely absolves her of all of her crimes against humanity.

also very exited to see oliver shared between Lex and Fitz :DDD , he does not stand a chance between themmm. He will prob turn to puddyyyyy, and I would like to watchhhh. Also, wonder what Roger is like when enthralled by the two. Mainly cuz he gives off very diff vibes from oliver. Roger gives off tired old man (prob from his full time “job” of taking care of Fitz, dudes prob aged a few years from that, and see some things). Oliver on the other hand gives off kitten x sacrificial lamb. but I could be projecting.

Also, not killing Edith!!! DDDD: the thralls would dieeeeeeee. Like I do not trust Jessica one second to provide healthcare to her thralls. I feel she would cringfail on a minor cold. She gives off immediately calls for a doctor (cuz ew she doesn’t wanna deal with that, fix it) vibes or waits till their practically on death’s door (cuz she had more important things to do, like looking pretty, or throwing parties). Also Idk how in Character it is, but I think it’d be funny if she might attempt some basic care, like wet towel on their head, but forget even more basic stuff like giving the poor thing water, and then get upset when that didn’t improve the thrall’s condition or make it worse, then throws a small tantrum and then leaves them. She does not have the attention span or empathy to figure out proper human care.

can’t remember if there was anything else…. Did add to it tho (like Jessica attempting below bare minimum to take care aid a thrall and giving up after a whole five sec of that now working)

(Welp, goodbye, idk how to end posts, would I just have ended it there? Idk. Thanks for reading :D

goodbye again)

Sike the post is not over I was re-reading in editing (coming after u spelling errors, except puddy idk how that’s spelt and I’m too scared to find out) and realized bit about wanting Vivian to save killing vamps like Lex and Fitz to later (much later) cuz perhaps if she kills enough of the vamps that treat their thralls poorly she can change the culture of the vamps in the area :D , so even if she fails (at killing all of them) at least quality of thrall life could go up, and that’s at least a little win for humanity. (Also now thinking it’d be really funny for Lex to lord over Jamison how he could be the next target cuz he treats his thralls so bad lol.)

wonder how long till vamp society starts sweating over Vivian’s kill count. I doubt Edgar’s absence would be totally missed (although some *cough Lex and Fitz cough* might be a little happy at the news, till it sinks in a powerful vamp like him was slain)

ok now I think that’s it fr. Goodbye Fr.

The Rare Bookseller Part 62: Vivian's Blood

Previous > Masterlist

tw: conditioning, mind control, mention of hand whump, mention of blood related ritual

October 1925

As Jenny slowly awoke, there was a strange warmth on her face, and something unusually soft underneath her. She luxuriated in it for a moment, comfortable and sleepy, before bolting upright as though she'd been pulled by a string.

Her master! What time was it? She was awake, and she couldn't remember what tasks she was meant to be performing, and she'd probably overslept. She could practically feel the sting of her master's crop.

It took a few moments for her to return to her senses and realize that she was not in her master's manor. She was in a small room, sparsely furnished, and the warmth on her face was the sun streaming in. It had been so long since she'd seen the sun that she couldn't help pressing herself against the window. The view wasn't much, just a dingy alley and a brick building next door, but the small glimpse of blue sky was enough for her.

She was out. She was free. Her master was dead.

Exhilaration churned with dread in her stomach. She'd spent so long under his spell, conditioned to obey and serve, that she couldn't help but feel empty without his presence. As much as she'd longed for her freedom, now that she had it, she couldn't help the smallest twinge of regret. The manor had been a prison, but she'd always been told exactly what to do and what to think, and there was a kind of comfort in that. There was comfort in having a purpose, even if that purpose was serving a vampire.

What would she do now? What did she even want to do? She'd long since smothered any dream more ambitious than seeing the sun again. Worry and doubt filled her mind, and she wished she could just go back to sleep… sleep… and obey… sleep… and obey…

She was woken again by a knock on the door. "Good evening, Jenny. May I come in?"

Jenny was on the floor, kneeling for an imaginary master who would never return, and judging by how sore her knees were, she'd been there for a while. The light through the window was now the long-forgotten orange of a sunset. Embarrassed, Jenny scrambled back up to sit on the bed. She was still wearing her clothes from yesterday, but that would have to do. "You can come in!"

Vivian entered. "How are you doing?"

"I'm well," she said, not wanting to cause any trouble for her savior.

"It's all right if it's hard on you. It's hard on most thralls, to bring their minds back from years of enthrallment." She sat on a wooden chair next to the window. "I thought you might like some breakfast, if you want to come to the kitchen. I'll show you the bathroom and give you a clean set of clothes, too."

"That's very kind of you, miss," said Jenny, only growing more uneasy. Kindness always came with a price, but she didn't have a choice but to rely on the vampire hunter's charity for now. She meekly followed Vivian to the kitchen, where a large pot of porridge was steaming on the stove. Her mouth watered.

"I hope porridge and milk is okay. It will be easy on your stomach," said Vivian. "I woke you in the afternoon so you can start adjusting to a daytime schedule again."

Jenny stared down at the food. In the rare moments when she got to imagine being free, she always pictured it as somehow triumphant -- running through a sunny field, carefree. But it wasn't like that at all. Everything felt wrong, wrong, wrong, her conditioning still clawing her mind back to the place she had escaped from. It felt wrong to eat fresh food at the table, wrong to not have anyone to serve, wrong even to be awake for so long.

"You don't have to serve me," said Vivian, gently. "It's all right."

Jenny blinked, and realized that she was kneeling at Vivian's feet, somehow. A hazy memory bubbled up in her mind of when she had first been conditioned to serve her master, how she would be aware one moment and groveling at his feet the next, his glinting pocketwatch heavy in her mind. A memory tinged with her shame and despair at her inability to resist his hypnosis.

Another blink, and she was sitting at the table again, spoon in her hand and the porridge half gone. She must have eaten her breakfast while entranced.

"Feeling better?" asked Vivian.

Jenny's face burned. Being asleep and entranced would almost be preferable to the humiliation of fading in and out. "I'm sorry," she said, choking back tears. "It's my master's spell. He enthralled me to remain asleep… well, not asleep exactly, although that's what he called it. I'd be under his spell and have to do the… do the chores… while my mind…" Her vision was blurring, her thoughts evaporating, even as she tried to explain.

"Hey, stay with me." Vivian snapped in front of her face, startling Jenny back into wakefulness. "That sort of trance is common for thralls."

"Common for thralls…" Jenny repeated numbly. It was one thing when she'd been trapped in her master's manor for years, surrounded only by other thralls. There was no point to having shame in her condition, because there was no one else to see it. Now, returning to the world of humans, that shame burned inside her, mixing with her worries.

"I need to ask…" Jenny wrung her hands in her skirt. "What is going to happen to me now? I… I don't have anywhere to go home to… I used to work in a lace factory, but I can't work there any more if I'm… like this…" She could just picture the scolding she would get if she dared to nod off at work, not to mention the danger of slipping into a trance when she was operating one of the huge machines. She'd seen a girl get her fingers ripped off, a sight that not even a vampire's thrall could ever erase from her memory.

"It's all going to be okay!" said Vivian in a tone that made Jenny doubt she really grasped the gravity of the situation. "You can stay here while you're recovering. The enthrallment will fade in time, and I have a way to help you with it."

"But I can't pay you back for your hospitality --"

"Don't even worry about it. Do you remember those trinkets I liberated from your master's bedroom? I sell the treasures I take from vampires to support thralls who need it. Don't you think you deserve to use his money to support yourself?"

The conditioned part of her wanted to protest that her master had given her food and shelter and purpose, and that was enough. The rest of her, though, was nodding along with Vivian's reasoning. After all, she'd worked hard for Lord Edgar for years without getting paid a wage, and her living conditions had been meager. She did deserve some of his money.

"The hunters' guild visited your old manor today to collect the remaining thralls and start sorting things out."

"The remaining thralls? Are they all okay?"

"They were fine, from what I've heard, and I'm sure they'll be taken care of. What's more, the guild is going to start liquidating the vampire's possessions. The money will be split between me, guild upkeep, and the thralls. You should expect a decent windfall - at least a few thousand dollars."

"A few thousand?" said Jenny, astonished. That was far more money than she'd ever had in her life, more than she'd ever dreamed of. That was enough money to go to school and get an education for a better job. That was enough that she wouldn't need to share a room with three other women, one that was always frigidly cold in winter and filled with insects in summer. That was enough for a new coat and shoes, good ones that didn't require constant mending.

"I thought that would cheer you up," said Vivian.

"That's… that's wonderful. I can't even imagine what I'll do with all of that money, besides go back to school," said Jenny. Of course, her mental condition would be a problem at school, too. Even now, she could hear the whisper in her mind telling her that thralls didn't need to think, just obey --

"Jenny." Vivian was shaking her by the shoulder. "Jenny, wake up."

"I'm so sorry!" she said, coming to.

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

She simply couldn't keep blanking out like this, couldn't keep falling back into a pointless need to serve a master who was now dead. "You said you might be able to help with the enthrallment?"

Vivian nodded. "There's something I can do for you, but the technique absolutely must remain secret, and it's a bit -- Tell you what, I'll show you after I take Bobby his breakfast. You can come with me and meet Bobby if you'd like. He's another former thrall, but one less fortunate than you."

As much as she was interested in meeting another former thrall, one who might understand her troubles, Jenny couldn't help but be nervous about what would count as less fortunate than her. "Sure, I'd like to meet Bobby."

Vivian scooped a bowl of porridge from the pot on the stove and swept down the same hallway where Jenny's room was, this time entering a door on the left. The room was small and furnished only with a bed and chest of drawers, but it was neatly kept. On the bed, there was a sleeping man mostly covered in a thick blanket. Vivian shook him gently. "It's time to eat, Bobby."

Bobby sat up with an unnaturally stiff motion. His vacant eyes didn't seem to react to Vivian or Jenny, instead fixed on a spot on the blank wall. Vivian held the bowl of porridge in front of him with one hand and a spoon with her other hand, and Jenny was surprised when he took them both and began to eat. He ate quickly and rhythmically, looking as though he didn't taste or even know what he was eating.

"Bobby, this is Jenny," said Vivian, motioning towards an uneasy Jenny. "She used to be a thrall, just like you. Do you want to say hello?"

He looked up at her -- or really, through her. "Hello, Jenny," he said in a dull voice.

"Hello, Bobby. It's nice to meet you."

So this was what Vivian had meant by less fortunate. He didn't even seem to know what was happening around him. Could this have been her fate, if she had been purchased by a different vampire? Was Lord Edgar somehow a mercy?

Bobby finished his porridge and cleared his throat. "What are my tasks today, sir?" he said to Vivian, handing the bowl back.

"You can sweep the floors and clean the kitchen if you please, but you're not required to do any tasks at all, remember?"

"Yes, sir." He swung his legs over the bed and walked out of the room with that strange, stiff gait.

"You must think it's awful that I'm making Bobby do chores," said Vivian, once he'd left the room. "Because of the way he was conditioned, he gets dreadfully upset if he doesn't have any tasks for the day. It's been the only way to keep him calm."

"I can understand." Jenny also felt an aching void, a lack of purpose, one that used to be filled with the chores Lord Edgar always had her do. Even knowing her master was dead, even seeing his now-lifeless corpse disintegrating on the floor, she was still so nervous that she wasn't serving a vampire. A superior being… one of her betters…

She managed to shake off the daze before it took her again. "If it isn't rude to ask… what happened to Bobby?"

"He was erased," said Vivian. "It's a process the vampires use to remove a human's free will, memories, personality… everything they are. It turns them into a shell of their former self. It's almost impossible to fully recover from, even with my techniques, and even if he did, he'd never be the same."

"That's horrible…"

"It's done at auction houses. Did you come from an auction house?"

Foggy memories of prison cells surfaced in her mind. "Yes." She hoped Vivian wouldn't ask her how she'd ended up there. How she'd practically volunteered herself like a damned fool, believing a vampire's lies about a better life. She'd already paid the price for her foolishness many times over.

"Do you remember anything about how you were enthralled there?"

"I'm not sure…" Many of her memories of her time in vampires' captivity were vague and muddled, since she'd spent so much of it in a deep hypnotic trance. "I remember a big chair. I was trying to fight it, I think, but the vampires were so much stronger than I was. They strapped me in, and one of the vampires started to hypnotize me. She did something that made me so sleepy that I just couldn't stay awake… and after that, I had to obey anything they told me."

"That sounds like a typical experience. Do you know who it was who enthralled you?"

Jenny could just picture the blurry outline of that vampire, the way she'd looked through unfocused, half-closed eyes. Her memory was mostly of that beautiful voice, how lovely she'd felt, better than she ever had before or since. "She was small, I think. Smaller even than me. She really didn't look like a vampire at all -- or at least how I would have imagined a vampire to look."

"That would be Lily."

"Miss Lily! Yes, that's who it was. You know her?"

"Oh, she's a notorious vampire. She seems to be in charge of hypnotizing humans at the local auction house. So many of the thralls remember her that we know quite a bit about her, including where she probably lives -- but every hunter who has gone to try and kill her has ended up a thrall. Now none of them will go near her."

Miss Lily had looked like any ordinary woman you might pass on the street. It was terrifying to think of vampires like that walking among ordinary people at night, stealing them away and erasing their minds. "Are there many powerful vampires like her?"

"Unfortunately, yes. This city is overrun with vampires who seem to think they're untouchable, like Lily and your former master. I'm always searching for new leads on the most troublesome bloodsuckers. Maybe you've heard of some of them… have you heard of a Lady Martha? A Lord Jonathan, perhaps? Lady Jessica? Mistress Lotus?"

She shook her head. The names she'd heard and the vampires she'd met were all swirled together in Jenny's mind. Lord Edgar had taken her to a number of social events, but she'd spent them all in a daze, dressed in a ballgown worth more than her and kneeling at Lord Edgar's feet while he chatted and laughed.

"Dr. Edith?"

"Dr. Edith! I do remember her!" Jenny felt triumphant at having remembered at least one bit of knowledge. "Once, I had a terrible case of flu. I was so ill that I fully expected I'd die right there, in a bed in my master's manor. He called for Dr. Edith to help me," she explained. "She brought me medicine and soup to drink, and cool cloths to soothe my fever. She was very nice, not at all like some of the other vampires."

"Edith is an old vampire, a doctor they bring in to help keep their thralls alive. A lot of thralls have stories like yours."

Jenny realized what her knowledge was going to be used for. "You're not going to kill her, are you?"

"She's a vampire."

"But she helped me…"

"She also keeps at least one human enslaved for her blood, probably more," said Vivian. "I don't doubt that some vampires are kinder or more reasonable than others. I've seen myself the differences in the ways they treat thralls. But all of them, even the most kind and reasonable vampires, capture humans to feed on their blood. They all need to die."

"I guess you're right…" Jenny swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't entirely comfortable with the thought of Vivian slaughtering that kind old woman who'd brought her soup when she was so desperately ill. "Are there a lot of hunters?" she said, hoping to change the subject.

"No, there aren't. That's one of the reasons why the city is so overrun," she said. "Twenty years ago, everyone in the hunters' guild was killed by a legendary vampire in a failed raid of his manor. Since then, the guild's had barely a handful of qualified hunters, and the bloodsuckers practically have free reign of the city."

"That's dreadful… The vampire who killed all of those hunters, is he still…?"

"He's certainly still out there. No hunter has attempted to kill him since, for obvious reasons. We don't even know where his manor is, since all hunters with that knowledge died, and none of the thralls we've rescued know more than a scrap of information about him." Vivian restlessly balanced her chair on two legs. "You haven't happened to have heard of the Maestro, have you?"

"No, I haven't."

"It's not surprising. We only just recently got a lead on him, the first in years. A famous ballerina was kidnapped, and one of the perpetrators matches his description. It fits what we believe to be his motives, too. But actually tracking down a vampire like that? No one's done it."

"Are you going to try and kill him yourself?" said Jenny anxiously.

"If I can find him."

"You aren't scared?"

"I'd be an idiot if I wasn't scared. But with my magic, I can defy his powers, and I might be able to succeed where the other hunters failed." She looked so determined that Jenny couldn't doubt her. "A vampire like that can't just be left to roam free and kidnap whoever he wants forever and ever. Someone has to kill him. But I don't have enough information, so I'm hunting down other vampires for now."

"…I see," said Jenny. "What about Miss Lily, then? You said you know where she lives, right?"

Vivian's bravado noticeably faded. "I suppose I should go after Lily. But I'd really prefer not to."

"I can understand that… but she does seem a lot less frightening than that other vampire would be. Don't you think so?"

The only sound in the room was the squeak of chair legs as Vivian fidgeted. "…The Maestro killed all of the hunters, that's true," she said, finally. "But Lily has turned at least a dozen hunters into helpless, mindless thralls. I'd much rather die than be a thrall."

"Oh…" So that was how she must look to Vivian, someone who suffered a fate so shameful that Vivian would rather die.

It wasn't as though she didn't understand. There were times in Lord Edgar's service when she'd woken up enough to understand that years of her life were slipping away, and sometimes she thought that she'd rather be dead.

But she hadn't really meant it. After all, she'd thought she'd never again see sunshine, and yet today she'd woken up to blue skies out of her window.

Even with everything that had happened, she was still glad to be alive.

"I have another reason, as well," Vivian said, breaking into Jenny's thoughts. "My mother was a vampire hunter, and a damn good one. And that night, the night of the failed raid, she never came home." Vivian's hands clenched at her pants. "I have to kill the Maestro, no matter what. If I don't do it, I don't think anyone else will."

"I'm sorry about your mother," said Jenny, uncertain what to say.

"It was a long time ago," said Vivian, although there were tears in her eyes. "I've spent all this time learning to be a great vampire hunter, to resist their tricks and their enthrallment… which reminds me. I was going to help you clear the enthrallment from your mind."

"Oh, yes, please."

"Follow me upstairs."

Jenny followed Vivian up a rickety and dark spiral staircase, where every step was a different height and the boards creaked. They reached a cramped space, dimly lit with the last of the day's sunlight, with thick cobwebs in the ceiling and dust on the floor. There were books and candles and other strange objects strewn about, and in the center of the floor, a large white symbol was painted. It was a circular kind of seal with words written in a language Jenny had never seen, and it was splattered in many places with what looked like dried blood.

"It's a ritual circle," Vivian explained. "It's a way to remove a vampire's influence from a thrall. I'm still refining it, so it isn't perfect, but I think it will help you."

Jenny's mouth was dry, making it hard to get the words out. "Is that… is that blood on the floor?"

"Oh! That. No need to worry, it's only my own blood."

Previous > Masterlist

It's good to have lofty goals.

Next week, Oliver is shared by his masters.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin

@whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist

@xx-adam-xx @vampiresprite @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10

@sowhumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada

@typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia

@a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

@enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot

@cinnamoncandycanes @avvail-whumps @tauntedoctopuses @secret-vampkissers-soiree @whatamidoingherehelpme

@strawbearydreams @ghost-whump @tippytappytyping @natthebatt @fire-bugg14

@fuckcapitalismasshole @slightlydisturbedbeans @paperprinxe @demetercabingreen-thumb @the-broken-pen

@pokemaniacgemini @jumpywhumpywriter @basica11ywhumped

[lizbotw]

Okay. I think I’ll finally confess, because I’m way too excited for us to have matching themes. (Also gonna put that you’re my “buddy” in my description if we are gonna match themes lmao👀)Since you’re favourite character is Reiner, mine is........

......

......

......

.....Bertholdt!!!!! :DDD You’ve guessed right this whole time but it was hilarious watching the entire progress of my keeping info away from you and leaving you in the dark😌ALSO PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THINKIG PROCESS AND HOW YOU ALREADY HAD AN IDEA OF MY “TASTE” WHAT-you have idea how hard it was to keep it from you without bursting into my endles compliments I have for this tall precious boy who deserves the world🥺 I’ve been having some ideas but also wanted to let you guess..however it was too painful to wait because you were RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT but you still were unsure and thought it might be Marco or Reiner still aha, and none of this would’ve even been possible if I never mentioned the name because apparently you didn’t even remembered that he existed in the anime😭 So underrated.....Okay I was thinking of changing my quote in the blog name to one of Bert’s quotes and maybe you could do one too? Not to mention matching icons?🥺It sounds like so much fun but idk if you’re up for it..?? 😌Anyways you’re response to my ask was so soft, I’ll just go happily cry in a corner while doing my hw-

KRISTY ISTG I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU I FUCKING KNEW IT as soon as i saw him i was like “i just KNOW kristy is heads over heels for this fucking man” what other guy would you like!!! the answer is none of them!!! only him!!! okay the rest is under the cut because this was an entire journey and a half smh but you ASKED FOR IT

my thought process? whooo this is messy but okay. also if i say it now i won’t have to say it later so i’ll just unload everything here. much easier than ranting in ur dms. also you don’t have to like... reply, you can just read it because i am just delivering what you asked for

okay i’ll confess too, i wasn’t unsure about my answer AT ALL, that was just a cover up 😭 IDK AJDNSJAJ i was so SURE it was him, but there’s always the chance there’s someone else but also literally could not see you liking anyone else. i 100% knew it wasn’t marco bc um... he’ll be gone soon ❤️ idk when but soon. so he’s not exactly a good choice for a long-term fav, but i was like let’s just add him in for some ~mystery~ and also tbh you kinda exposed urself that it’s not him when you said a long time ago that ur okay with jean-marco matching icons but that you still really want me to figure out ur fav

i was trying to figure out how to say it ¿¿¿ as soon as i saw him i was like this is it. i’ve got to tell her. but i didn’t know how to word it AJJSJDJSJ “why do i feel like you like bertholdt 🤡” “ur in love with bertholdt aren’t you 😐” “bertholdt” (that’s right. just his name. and then i’d see how you react.) “him” “reiner’s bff... u like him don’t you” ALL OF IT and we weren’t as close then so i was like AJSJJSJDJ HOW TO WORD THINGS- the amount of times i almost said it but was like hmm... nvm let’s go back to discussing eren, that’s the safest thing to talk about rn. grrr i was just “it’s bertholdt, u like bertholdt u ABSOLUTELY LOVE BERTHOLDT I KNOW IT 🤡🤡🤡” like i could not figure out how to... convey. it was just 😐🤡😐🤡😐🤡 bc it’s HIM. but i was like ur gonna hate me if i say it like that but those were my emotions BC IT’S SO OBVIOUSSSSS

AND WHAT REINER????? nooo i absolutely KNEW you did not like him, plus you said you already had ur reiner phase smh kristy u are so obvious. SO OBVIOUS KRISTY IT HURTS but you also said you were being very careful and not giving me clues??? so i was thinking maybe i’m looking at things too surface level here. I AM NEVER SECOND GUESSING MYSELF AGAIN

i knew it was a guy even tho you kept saying “they” bc YEAH INTUITION 🧘‍♀️ only maybe i’d think you like christa or whatever but idk she’s like... not the first choice. hmm WAIT LMFAO ALSO YOU ALREADY SAID HANGE WAS UR FAV FEMALE CHARACTER kristy the things you say... the clues were enough to confirm my initial suspicions 😈 man me mentioning bertholdt = opening the floodgates for you YOU WERE SO EXCITED

let it be known that i was onto you from the start 😠 if you told me it was someone else i would be like “okay... lies” but in the back of my mind i would have known you must have an intense bertholdt phase at some point. it’s him. it’s always been him.

okay let me explain my relationship with bertholdt because i didn’t forget him ENTIRELY nooo don’t think that 😭 so he shows up with his buddy reiner and talks to eren ❤️ instantly is on my radar bc talking to my boy??? already am like “kristy vibes.” cut to jean existing 🥰 am only focused on him during trost arc bc eren died :( see reiner and annie together, so cute 💞 but where is bertholdt? i decide to write a thing about my thoughts on all the characters. i end up writing a paragraph on why bertholdt is sus bc he’s all but disappeared at this point 😐 felt bad bc it felt like i was slandering him unnecessarily and i knew i should be nice to him bc you like him and i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. i stare at the draft for weeks. decide to go back and look for bertholdt bc i felt like i had missed him (this brings us to current times). i see him, think he’s an okay guy, however seeing him also just leads to me gathering even more evidence that he’s sus. am panicking bc i want to share my thoughts but i don’t know how you will react. this leads to me tentatively telling you about how i think he’s pretty cool so you can see that i am NOT a bertholdt hater. slowly start mentioning my suspicions of a few different characters, etc. you know how it goes from there. i wanted to say it was bertholdt when i sent you that message but i chickened out idk so i was like “haha, this is NOT my official guess okay <3” 😍 grrr the fact that rn i was just going to be like “it’s bertholdt kristy. i know it and you don’t have to tell me i’m right because i already know i am” because i was like okay, we’re good friends at this point, anything i say will be fine <3 plus i was tired of living with this burden of knowledge AND NOW YOU’VE TAKEN THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME that’s it, i’m going to find a new fav and not tell you about them and make you guess who it is. this is what you deserve.

he’s always been vaguely on my radar but anyway the point is i kept trying to figure out where he was but i’m blind so therefore i assumed he was up to no good. now that i have looked for him and seen him, i still believe he is up to no good (I MEAN THIS IN A NICE WAY PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME). omg i have things to say about him but i still don’t want to be mean 😭 he must have redeeming qualities bc you like him??? but. he gives me certain ~vibes~ LIKE LITERALLY LOOK AT HIM just standing there with reiner (speaking of which reiner is not off the hook either)

gahhh okay i should really just show you the theories thing okay it’s not so much theories now that i look at it but more so my thoughts on the characters i wrote bc slowly it’s becoming more and more irrelevant the more we talk so like... give me a sec and i’ll show you. ugh you know what i won’t even bother to edit it, you’ll see my RAW thoughts 😭 they haven’t really changed much anyway because i haven’t watched much aot lately. just use ur intuition and you’ll be able to tell which thoughts have changed for me 💆‍♀️ (read as: anything i say about “where is bertholdt” = he was there all along but i accidentally ignored him) he’s so endearingly cute tho... i am infuriated because i cannot love all these characters. this show... how does it do this to me. also you said you really hope i like whoever it is and i feel like for all the other characters it’s very obvious i’d like them bc they’re all so AKDKDKDK. plus i talked about how much i loved most of them anyway, he was one of the few i barely discussed my feelings about 👀

when we were talking about him i just KNEW you wanted to scream about how much you love him. i was like “do it kristy DO IT prove me right” but ur self control is unmatched, i could never. like you sprinkled in some praise for the other characters but i knew who you were REALLY thinking about ;))))) I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOOK AWAY THE CHANCE FOR THE REVEAL AWAY FROM ME this is the equivalent of instantly knowing the answer to a question as soon as the teacher says it but then someone raises their hand faster than you 😐

hhhggg this is getting long but you wanted to know your type as i see it? (okay i just noticed you said “taste” actually but whatever, same thing) dude, bertholdt is the BLUEPRINT for all the guys you like rn. so sweet... like ur suga selfship. it’s so clear. potentially will do something i don’t want to say evil buuuuut, like hello??? DABI. there’s more but you get the point. the day you tell me you don’t like someone like bertholdt is the day i give up on eren. HAHA THERE’S SUCH A PATTERN plus the fact that bertholdt is legit all of those qualities rolled into one??? perfection. also before i even watched the show i saw pictures of him and he looked like someone you’d like so i kind of had that idea in my head from before to look out for him but i kept forgetting his name bc i can’t spell so i was like “who was that guy again” AND I COULDN’T SEARCH HIM UP BC I DIDN’T KNOW HIS NAME... oops? wowww if i wasn’t so shy and scared of you telling me i was wrong and then never talking to me again we would have been done with this whole thing a looooong time ago damn

matching icons yes omg reiner 🥰 he’s all mine now 🥰 damn wait i just changed my icon and i kind of like the vibes it gives off for me. hmm tbf i’ve been meaning to change up my theme and make a new header but i’ve been lazy. it was going be a cute dark blue/purple halloween theme but </3 yeah. i even had the pictures ready and i just had to edit them akjajsjsj. so if you have a bertholdt quote that means i should have a reiner one right? 👀 well he’s said eren’s name before right? so i’ll just keep my current title 🥰 JKJK AJSNSJAJJA i’ll go look for something. hhhggg wait okay can we do them for november? i know i’m going to want a change when november comes 😭 it’ll be like cleanse from october bc man is life kicking my ass rn. plus if i do it rn i’m going to be obsessed with making the new theme PERFECT and i just Do Not have the time to be busy graphic designing my blog 😭 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO but ahhh man i love designing things like this so i’m going to be so focused on that. the fact that i briefly considered changing to an eren icon at one point but then i thought you would judge me </3 yes i have a problem with my obsession, what of it also we are more than just buddies, we’re practically aot soulmates at this point because we keep liking the different halves of all the iconic pairs. jean/marco, reiner/bertholdt... um okay well only those two but yeah i’m just kidding, buddy is good hehe that’s so cute omg pls use that 🥰

okay i hope ur happy, i have just exposed all of my thoughts. this is what you deserve for your precious boy so here ❤️ also i was feeling bad and was about to ask you if it’s okay to be sus of bertholdt because he’s truly a cute baby to me plus he has ur heart so maybe he’s truly good :( but then i remembered you like the villains in bnha so i wouldn’t put it past you to like someone who may or may not do something... suspicious. so i will be deciding myself who’s sus and who isn’t 😠😌 no criticism allowed this man is UP TO SOMETHING it’s always the quiet ones

ALSO I WAS GOING TO GO BACK AND LOOK FOR HIM EITHER WAY I SWEAR not just bc you mentioned him!!! 😭 he was always in the back of my mind ❤️ well i didn’t know exactly who he was but i was vaguely like okay the tall soft one... need to look out for him for kristy’s sake. okay maybe you DID influence me in some way to go look for him because technically i only ever even considered him bc he stood out as someone you’d like. but ur right, so underrated 😭 lo siento bertholdt u are actually too cute for this world and i am a dummy for not realizing that sooner :(

anyway now back to our regularly scheduled program of me talking about the armored titan ❤️ whoever you are mr. armor pls hmu ily ❤️ poor reiner watching me be unloyal rn. so weird that i’m going through a phase for both of them but here we are. this stupid titan is the only thing i’m looking forward to in the rest of the trost arc and if he doesn’t show up i’m going to wail pls,,,,,

mwah yes do ur hw kristy very good. i will not do mine but that’s okay ❤️ ur the responsible one out of the two of us also the fact that you said my response to your last ask was soft and now here i’m boderline yelling at you about bertholdt... duality please talk to me about how much you love bertholdt now or else ❤️