#i will do a loser poll at least

[bestfurryhusband]

*results not binding

[cringefaillosersummit]

hey man at least you didn’t reblog Danny phantom dissection fanfiction to your poll account <- tournament runner who did exactly that. and then didn’t notice all night

you know what thats fair

[jazz-kity]

i forgot i was gonna make a poll about team xen characters

[anistarrose]

So, it's not a moral failing to be bad at what I'm about to describe. But collectively, most of Tumblr is bad at identifying polls that function as bait for bigotry and harassment. Polls that, either intentionally or unintentionally, encourage people to spew hatred about a marginalized queer sub-community — because that sub-community is considered, at least by some, an acceptable enough target.

Most of us have probably seen that polyamory poll go around (as of September 2024). Fewer people have probably taken a look at the notes on that poll — and in many ways, that's for the best, because a lot of the notes are fucking vile. I won't link the poll itself, but content warning for threats of domestic violence and suicide in just this sampling. I don't know enough about the poll creator to make assumptions towards their intent, but that poll was functionally bait, acting as encouragement for people to spew vitriol and bigotry.

And none of this is specific to that individual poll! In December 2023, a single person made a series of polls about friends with benefits, and the "question" of whether aromantic heterosexual cisgender men were queer — and those polls led to huge waves of arophobia and sex negativity (inseparable from, let's be honest, some mask-off radfem shit). On top of that, multiple polls about people's feelings towards sex, or experiences with such, have turned into a festival for bashing both asexuals and virgins — insofar as the people doing the bashing use those words as anything but interchangeable insults.

Polyamorous people. Aromantic people, especially aromantic allosexuals. Asexual people, especially those who are virgins or sex-repulsed. That's a clear and obvious trend — they're all people who do relationships differently. People whose relationships and identities are considered "cringe." Who are considered acceptable targets to mock within the queer community. Making fun of "polycule drama," making fun of "queerplatonic," making fun of a-spec microlabels.

So many people who call themselves sex-positive refuse to extend that positivity to polyamorous people and aromantic people. To casual sex, to sex without monogamous romance. They insist that the polyamorous, the aromantic, are in fact the predators, the abusers, the degenerate queers that the conservative pearl-clutching queerphobes were right about. They tack on asexuals to the "abuser" category, too, because allegedly no one could ever be happy in a relationship with an asexual; because allegedly it's manipulative to your partner to refuse sex! Meanwhile, asexuality and sex repulsion are conflated with the completely different concept of sex negativity, twisting the language of sexual liberation to demonize asexuals further...

And yes, polls play a role in all of this! Of course, not every poll about sexual experiences, for one example, is a poll intended to bait or to harm people! But if they blow up, there is a high risk of people feeling emboldened to comment things like: "so many people are okay with casual sex, or multiple sexual partners! this is what's wrong with the world, it's all just toxic hookup culture!" Or if not that, then things like: "look how few people on this virgin loser website have had sex! this is what's responsible for cultural sex negativity! they'd all be better, more progressive queers if they just got laid more!"

And that's not even getting into the obvious, and obviously intentional bait. The "cishet aromantic men" poll, most egregiously. Clout-chasers hide behind the veil of "I'm just curious about people's opinions!" and then, put out a poll catered to the most rancid, exclusionist, verging-on-radfem opinions. At the very least, catered to platforming them seriously, when people inevitably feel emboldened to say that shit they've been thinking.

And "emboldened" really is the key word here. These polls increase the social acceptability of saying cruel shit about polyamorous people, a-spec people, and whoever else becomes the queer community's acceptable target of the year. The groups discussed in this post are by no means the only popular targets for harassment and exclusionism, but they are some of the most egregious examples I've seen personally, and they are tied together by their non-normative approaches to relationships or lack thereof. Moreover, the groups overlap — I am personally aromantic and asexual, not polyamorous — but even then, my struggles with amatonormativity overlap with those of polyamorous people.

And I bring this up because for years, I've witnessed popular Tumblr bloggers attack a-specs and polyamorous people within the same posts. With the same tactics, using cringe culture in addition to demonizing alternative types of relationships. Now, polls are another weapon for harassing us. And, it is... absolutely exhausting.

Of course, there's obviously a sliding scale of how prone polls can be to harassment. I don't think polls just asking about people's sexual experiences need to be totally anathemized and blotted off the face of the earth, for example — but you know, maybe consider searching OP's blog for "asexual" and some other keywords before you reblog one?

Furthermore, maybe just don't reblog polls about "does X count as LGBTQ," even if you're in support, because you're still legitimizing the poll to begin with. Maybe proceed with caution with posts that mention polyamory, even if not in an inflammatory way, unless maybe you know that OP is polyam themselves. Maybe block, obviously don't harass, but just silently and unceremoniously block people that make a lot of clout-chasing polls about controversial queer issues.

I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I'm not an expert on catching these red flags myself — the first time I saw the polyamory poll, I ignored it just because it was irrelevant to me as a non-partnering person, not because I clocked it as something that would generate hate and threats. So really, if I do have a plea to end on — it's just to listen to people, polyam and a-spec and otherwise, when they say that some post is generating hate and threats towards them. And then, maybe, try to learn some red and orange flags from the experience.

None of us are part of every queer sub-community that Tumblr loves to harass. We all have blind spots, and that's inevitable, not a failure of you as a person. But after seeing so many of these bait polls go around, after seeing multiple rallying effects in the communities followed by people letting their guards down, and circulating a slightly different bait poll... well? I just hope that eventually, people will be willing to learn.

[fave-fight]

ROUND 2, MATCH 25

NO MAGIC, POWERS, WEAPONS, OR ADDITIONAL HELP FROM OTHERS

Perry the Platypus/Agent P:

“I can't submit Dr. Doofenshmirtz without also submitting his nemesis! Perry is just a platypus but he regularly beats up a full-grown man with nothing more than his little platypus fists. He's also a master of disguise as even when Dr. Doof sees him without his signature fedora, he has no idea its really Perry.”

“He always has the element of surprise”

“He's a semi aquatic Egg laying mammal of action (Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah) (Doo-bee-doo-bee-do-bah) He's a furry little flatfoot Who never flinched From a fra-ee-ay-ee-ay (Fray) He's got more than just mad skill He's got a beaver tail and bill And the women swoon Whenever they hear him say (Perry's sound) He's Perry, Perry the platypus (You can call him Agent P) Perry (I said you can call him Agent P) Agent P Agent P Agent P”

Reigen Arataka:

“he has so many silly anime special moves like . throwing salt”

“Well, he doesn't break the super strength rule, so he'll at least be allowed into the fist fight! That's something! As for why he'll win, he um. Well I'm not sure honestly, but I'm sure he'll do it somehow. Maybe he'll find a way to sneak some table salt into the match so that he can perform his special technique, the Banishing Salt Punch. Though, if he doesn't cheat, he'll be left with a plain ol punch. The special technique didn't so much damage, but that was on a ghost, and I'm not sure if there will be any ghosts here, and his punch has proved somewhat effective in the series. Maybe he'll somehow get the participants of this poll in a con or something. Maybe the charm that got him the title of the #2 Tumblr Sexyman and made him sweep so many polls will be enough for him to win. Maybe his patheticness will loop around and make him win somehow. He has options”

“Reigen is an "exorcist" who pretends to have psychic powers, but mostly gets his psychic employee(s) to do the exorcisms for him. His primary techniques include throwing salt at his problems, running away, and punching. My favorite technique of his is Self Defense Rush which is where he punches a terrifying psychic but yells "SELF DEFENSE!" in hopes of preventing legal trouble.”

“Remember that one time he dropkicked a psychic? that was fun”

“He’s such a loser he’d lose at anything”

[lfcgirlie866]

The Girl Who Broke A Million Hearts ~ Jude Bellingham x oc

Ok so you guys really surprised me by voting for this fic the most in the poll! I was expecting this to be the least popular option tbh, and I feel like it's really badly written 😭 I apologise in advance if it is!

Summary: 'I know the baby in your belly isn't mine, but if you let me, then I'll love her like she is'

Tropes: Childhood friends, not realising their feelings until it's (maybe) too late, pregnancy, found family

Warnings: fmc mentions death of a parent, there may be smut eventually in the story but idk yet

Prologue

As I sit outside in the mild Spanish night air, looking out across the horizon, I simultaneously wish for the darkness to end and also for the day to never come. The light means I won't be left alone with my thoughts anymore, but it also means that I have to leave Madrid behind and book a flight back to England. It means I have to leave Jude and face up to what a disaster my life has become in the last week.

How could it have all gone so wrong so quickly?

Last week, I was engaged to the man I thought I would be with forever, six months pregnant with his baby, too. I thought I knew where my life was going.

Now I'm just pregnant and alone. I don't have a home to go back to. No family. Nothing. No one.

I'm slowly spiralling, worrying about what the hell I'm supposed to do next and regretting almost every decision I've ever made.

You're a failure, Sapphy. Your mum would be so disappointed in you, I think to myself, trying to hold back a sob. You're a loser. You're too weak to do what she did and raise a baby alone.

Maybe I should just suck it up and go back to my ex, Aiden. Give in and do what he wanted me to; Move halfway across the world with him. At least then I'd have a home again

But you wouldn't be happy, Saph. Not there, and not with him. Not after everything that's happened. After what he said...

'You'd do it for him, though. Wouldn't you?'

And the answer has been plaguing my thoughts ever since.

"Jeeze, Saph. It's almost 4AM. What 'er you doing out here?"

Jude's familiar voice startles me out of my thoughts, almost like I'd summoned him here with them. I turn around and drink him in. Lit only by the lights in the pool beside me, he looks just as beautiful as he always does as he walks over to where I'm sitting, and my stomach twists and turns at the mix of emotions he churns up.

Jude Bellingham. The boy I've known since he was eight, the one I grew up alongside of, the one who I watched become a world-class footballer right before my eyes. He is quite possibly the sweetest human on this planet, and I'll never, ever forget the truly heartfelt words he spoke at my mum's funeral. He means everything to me, but he's always just been a friend. Always. There was never a time when it could have been more. At least, it never crossed my mind at the time anyway.

But since Aiden said those words to me, I can't help looking at Jude differently. I wish I could stop, but now that I've seen the light, I don't think I can ever go back.

When his brother called me and asked if I wanted to fly out and watch Jude's game yesterday, I didn't hesitate. I jumped on that plane and then screamed my heart out watching him play. I forgot all the bad stuff for a while, but being in his home just brought it all back and I started drowning in my thoughts again.

"Jobe said he was worried about you yesterday. Now I am too, Saph." He says quietly, his fingers lightly stroking down my back, making me shiver.

I should tell him what's happened. I know I should, but at the same time, how can I?

He's THE Jude Bellingham. He's on top of the fucking world right now. I can't drag him down from that. I can't burden him with my own issues. These are my problems, I'm the one who has to deal with them. And, if I tell him I left my fiancé then he's going to want to know why. I'd have to tell him that I've become one of those girls, someone I never ever wanted to be; Just one of the millions who've fallen for him.

Some kind of dam shatters inside of me and as hard as I try, I can't hold it all back any longer. The story comes pouring out with a mixture of sobs and tears as he holds me tightly in his arms.

But there's one thing I don't mention: the fact that I might now have feelings for him, and maybe I always have done.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~☆☆☆☆~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

A/n: Ahhh I'm so scared to see what you guys think of this 🫣 This is definitely just an introduction and the story will go back and explain how they met/ became friends etc etc.

If you're interested in reading more then please let me know ❤️

[wosemi-sama]

HEY CHAT. the silly (it was mammon. we all knew it was going to be mammon) won the poll so i am now legally obligated to write smth for our first man. hope u guys like it 🫶 also. i dont. have. yellow on mobile. so we have to. deal with it. and. use orange instead. #sad

mammon relationship hcs

OH THIS FUCKING GUY.

Loser.

Will do stupid shit to impress you.

"Hey, watch me carry this comically large box!"

"Mammon, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Don't be ridiculous! Look!" *dies*

You mention it's kind of cold? He will immediately take off his jacket and have you wear it. His brothers will not hear the end of it.

"Hey, guys! Guess who wore my jacket? That's right, it was-"

"Mammon, nobody cares."

After a lecture from Lucifer, Mammon will look for you in search of comfort (and cuddles)

He'll bury his face in your shoulder and complain while you rub circles on his back

He loves affection, but he gets embarrassed easily

Super clingy once he's comfortable in your relationship, but don't be fooled, he gets flustered all the time.

He's amazing at giving gifts. He knows exactly what you want without fail. Mammon just knows you best.

He's also surprisingly good at knowing where you are??? Like, Lucifer will ask him where you are and he'll respond with "I dunno, try the cat cafè." And you're there??? You didn't even tell him where you were going, he just guessed.

So annoying about you. He won't shut up about you, but he can't help himself!! He just loves you so much and everything about you is so perfect that the list would be over 30 pages long! Don't tell him I said that-

He may not be the Avatar of Envy, but he tends to get jealous easy.

You're hanging out with his brothers a little too much for his liking? That's it, you're legally obligated to spend the day with him now.

Physically cannot be more than 30 feet away from you or else he will implode.

So, so many movie marathons. At least once a week.

He tends to fall asleep easily though, so they usually never get finished.

Wakes you up in the middle of the night for the dumbest reasons and pokes you until he's sure you're awake.

"Hey. Hey hey hey hey hey hey-"

"...What..?"

"Ya hungry?"

He would never admit this, but he likes making you laugh. He just finds the way you scrunch up your face so adorable. And your laugh too. He loves your laugh. He could never get tired of it, even if he wanted to.

It is genuinely so difficult to get this guy to say "I love you" because he recharges his courage to actually say it every 6 weeks because he thinks it's SO embarrassing.

Just because he doesn't say it a lot doesn't mean he doesn't. Mammon just finds it difficult to say. So remember that he loves you, will you?

[bl-bracket]

Mini-Bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL

So, as many of y'all may have heard, as of June 18, 2024 the marriage equality bill just got passed in Thailand, making it the first Southeast Asian country to legalize same sex marriage and also only one of three countries in all of Asia to legalize it (Taiwan legalized it 2019 and Nepal legalized it in 2024 as well). While technically it won't fully go into effect for another 120 days, I've planning to do something to celebrate it for a while so with great pleasure I introduce the first mini-bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL!!!

What's a mini-bracket? Well since we are currently still in the Most Unhinged Bracket (currently in the finals and about halfway through the loser bracket) and I have a planned hiatus coming up due to traveling, what it really means is that there will be a shorter submission time, no prelims, all one-day long polls, and will be running at the same time as everything else. This is just supposed to be a little fun thing to celebrate marriage equality!

Same base rules apply (which you can read in the form and in the pinned post) EXCEPT this time I'm going to open it up to all QLs! While GLs are still in the early stages of becoming an established industry compared to BLs (and thus it still feels kinda unfair to them if I were to say that that the brackets were for all qls but would still be like 90% bl at least), it didn't feel right to not include them in this one!

Also there's some extra rules this time!

For the purposes of this poll, the proposal MUST be for a queer couple (mlm or wlw)

While this is to celebrate gay marriage being legalized in Thailand, any East Asian live action bl is eligible

It must be a legitimate marriage proposal, not just an offhand comment about wanting to get married in the future or making some other type of serious commitment as a couple that isn't marriage (like moving in together). Those are all good, but not what I'm wanting to highlight here. 

Submissions Close on June, 22 @ 7 PM GMT

Submit your favorite marriage proposals in a QL Here!

@tournament-announcer

[fairytale-poll]

WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT POST!!!!!!!

The finals are over, so it's time to announce the winners for the Little Merpoll!

As always, thank you to everyone who participated! If you submitted characters and/or propaganda, if you reblogged the polls, even if you just voted, it was a pleasure having you! I've done fairytales poll before this & hope to continue for a while after this, and it's been a pleasure having you guys along for the ride!

Now, for our 5 winners.

The first winner to announce is the winner of the Mod's Choice poll! The Mod's choice poll is the "least important" of all the polls, as it has the least amount of contestants (this one had the last of any of the previous Mod's Choice polls) and are nominated simply based on which ones I like, but it holds a special place in my heart regardless.

This time, the winner was Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, who was also notable for being the runner-up for the Loser's Bracket. While I'm not as big of a fan of Madoka Magica as I used to be, I still love Sayaka, so it was delightful for her to do so well in the Mod's Choice poll & almost win the Loser's Bracket. Congratulations Sayaka and Sayaka fans!

But while Sayaka was the runner-up for the Loser's Bracket, she was not the actual Loser's Bracket winner. That honor goes to Mira from Dimension 20: Neverafter. While I haven't ever listened to Dimension 20, I was pretty about to see her take the win. After one Dimension 20 character won Red Riding Poll, no character from it ranked at all in Cinderpoll or in the main tournament for Little Merpoll, which is why I was glad to see Dimension 20 make a comeback for this Loser's Bracket. Mira's design is pretty cool, too, I love the pirate look. Congratulations for the win!

NOW, onto the MAIN TOURNAMENT WINNERS...

For our two bronze-place winners it's The Little Mermaid from the original Hans Christian Andersen fairytale & Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid 1989! To my surprise, it was actually the first time both the original fairytale and the Disney adaptation ranked! Honestly, these are some pretty good ones to rank, too. The original fairytale is a great read (and super short, so if anyone hasn't read it already, you should go do so) being both beautiful and poignantly tragic. Whereas the Disney adaptation holds up surprisingly well and is a beautiful piece of animation. Congratulations to these two bronze-place winners!

For the runner-up of the tournament is Bug from Starship by Team Starkid! I know that Team Starkid is very popular in certain parts of the Internet & the Starship itself did very well, but even then it felt like Bug was an underdog going up against giants like Disney, Studio Ghibli, and the original fairytale the tournament is based on, so I have to congratulate this guy for getting so far regardless! Good job, and I hope your fans are happy for you getting the silver!

Now, finally, the moment of truth-- the winner of the Little Merpoll, the certified best Little Mermaid as voted by Tumblr--

CONGRATULATIONS TO PONYO FROM STUDIO GHIBLI'S PONYO!

I watched this movie for the first time during the course of the tournament and it is truly a breathtaking marvel of animation, one of the best visuals I've ever seen for a movie ever. I will quote the propaganda submitted for Ponyo and say this little ham-loving girl deserved the win simply for the fact that there is no force more powerful than 5-year-old girls!!!

Our next tournament will be Best/Worst Modern Fairytale Adaptations. I'll open submissions up after a short hiatus, as I am in midst finals & will be graduating soon, which will take up most of my time in the next 2 weeks. See you for the next tournament at the end of May!

[candiid-caniine]

dumb dog's guide to self-denial

this was by far the most popular option in my last poll so here goes! full disclosure, i am a drooling idiot so i can't promise i won't miss some things. i can promise, however, that 1) i will do my best!! dogs are v enthusiastic!! and 2) there will be no bioessentialist kink of any kind within this post. adding to it with such things will get you blocked. if you're looking for that, go the hell elsewhere :)

disclaimer: i cannot give you advice that will "simply work" because nobody can. your body, your effort, and your time are all variables which I cannot account for with any certainty, so this is meant to get you started with finding your ideals when it comes to orgasm denial. it's not about learning to edge as much as me/for as long as me/as hard as me/whatever - everyone is different!

my approach to this is basically...building a dom/owner/whatever you'd like to call your ideal "denial partner" in your head. if you're single, either by choice or by chance, or you have a partner/s who isn't interested in being involved w/ your denial, this basically means being your own owner! so how does one do that? and how is that supposed to help with denial? you may be asking.

well, denial is about self-control, at least at the beginning. if you're new to this, that's probably what you're struggling with! your body loves orgasms, and it's used to getting release when it's stimulated. you start off a session wanting to edge, intending not to cum, but...you just can't; your body pushes you too far. when you've cultivated self-control, at some point your body starts to accept that edging also feels good, but until that point, it's all willpower.

only, part of being a submissive is wanting to surrender your willpower. so my solution to that was always playing both sub and dom, sort of at once, and to make a habit of it, so that even when you're in subspace it's not too far beyond you. how does that work if you're not a switch? you may be asking.

well...when you touch yourself, you probably fantasize, right? or you watch porn, or read erotica, etc. you may not be a switch, or have any urge to dom, but odds are you have an idea of how you'd like to be talked to. so start there.

want to be praised and trained like a beloved pet? when your body starts to get more excited, talk to yourself, and yes, it always feels stupid at first. "good boys don't cum without permission, isn't that right?" "so close to the edge, aren't you? now stop. stop right now. good girl." "be a good puppy and leave those puppy parts alone, calm down for me. good pet." whisper it if you have to, but do say it aloud. repeating it in your head isn't going to be enough at the start. eventually, maybe, but not yet. or do you want to be degraded and talked down to? tell yourself you don't deserve to cum, you're a pathetic toy, you're such a loser for obeying. then obey. in essence, emulate the dom that's in your fantasies. this is step 1. let your inner dom set some arbitrary, easy limits: just one more edge, then you can cum. or five more minutes, then you can cum. don't take away the goal of cumming just yet. and i do mean easy.

what if you don't have concrete fantasies/are imagining more sex acts than actual dirty talk? then get some! set aside 20-30 minutes before your edging attempt and get to dirty daydreaming! visualize the way you like being talked to, then enact it to, for, and by yourself. note the time to start this is before you've ever touched, if it's not already natural to you.

step 2: get comfortable with it. work a little of your "inner dom" into other aspects of your life; don't worry too much about the edging sessions, just get comfortable with this new persona or habit. when you finish a hard task, call yourself a good boy/girl/pet. when you're getting undressed for the shower, ask yourself, sexily, "is this for me?" and then your choice of pretty/handsome little thing or dirty little slut. invoke your inner dom in other areas of your life you imagine enjoying control. remember: you have to learn to bear through edging on self-control alone before you start to really lean into it from an internal perspective. and when you're edging, it's really hard for that to be the only time you're trying to do this.

step 3: when it's becoming more habitual, it's time to bring the edging up a notch. start setting true limits, experimenting with various things. these are the parameters i recommend experimenting with, one at a time, empirical-style:

how many edges can you do in one session before your urge to cum outweighs your inner dom? can you stretch this, with practice?

how does your body feel edging over and over again for 1 hour, vs. edging once per hour the whole day? more desperate and fuzzy, or less?

how does your body feel being teased slowly up to the edge vs. brute-forced into as quick an edge as possible? can you shorten, or lengthen, the times for each?

how close to the edge can you get yourself before a ruin becomes inevitable? what signs in your body point to this - tightening, contracting, throbbing, temperature, tingling? from there, can you roughly estimate a timeframe or amount of certain types of stimulation?

does setting aside specific times of day to edge, and not permitting it outside those times, frustrate/distract you more? or does allowing yourself to edge whenever you have time/feel like it frustrate/distract you more?

is it better to (eventually) cum directly after a long edging session, or to allow yourself to cool down completely and *then* cum?

how many methods of edging (insertion, fingering/stroking, vibration, humping, nipples, etc) can you perform, and in how many positions?

is it more frustrating to gently stroke/fondle yourself once every few minutes for the whole day without edging, or to edge repeatedly in a short period for an hour once a day?

there's a lot more you can try out. i recommend keeping a journal for all this. setting these kinds of goals and experiments for yourself will both a) keep you engaged intellectually and motivated, and b) get you in better communication with your own body. throughout all this, continue practicing that inner dom persona. praise yourself, degrade yourself, have dialogues with yourself; tell yourself to be useful or good, then respond with a pout and a "yes" and your choice of honorific.

more ideas/challenges can be found all over BDSMlr if you look for "edging challenges," but be aware many of them contain bioessentialist themes/language.

step 3.5: most d/s relationships have a reward/punishment hierarchy. so as you're taking step 3, explore what motivates you more - punishment, or reward - and, conversely, what gets you subbier: having more, or less of what motivates you. i'll explain, but:

when you fail a goal by going over the edge or ruining, what's the punishment that makes you feel the most repentant? is it impact, humiliating yourself somehow, some other unpleasant sensation, writing lines or other tedium? what makes you feel the least inclined to disobey again?

when you succeed at a goal, what reward makes you feel most fulfilled? is it an orgasm? several orgasms? sweet treats? a good smoke session? buying new lingerie? some combination of them?

from there: what successes or failures feel most, to least, deserving of the worst/best punishments and rewards? can you rank them?

and then: are you noticing you meet goals more when you're punished strictly, or rewarded fairly?

then here's the complex bit...does it align more, or less, with your desired form of submission to be consistent like that, or inconsistent? do you want a dom who always gives you the same caliber of reward/punishment for the same actions, or one who's cruel enough to keep you guessing at their whims? do you want a dom who adheres to you being more reward- or punishment- motivated, or a dom who doesn't care what motivates you, but rather what pleases them?

when you reward/punish yourself, thank or apologize to yourself, too :)

step 4: keep taking notes, but ask yourself these questions (you may want to take a break from edging just to have a clear mind):

why do i want to stay denied? is it because i like the challenge, or because i like a feeling like helplessness, neediness, vulnerability, or dumbness?

once you have that question answered, move on to: which of the ways/variables i tested while edging best gives me the feeling i'm looking for? was it more frustration, or less? was it frustration in small doses through the day, or all at once at a predictable time? was it switching up my methods, or staying consistent?

do i want to feel dumb/humiliated/put in my place/crushed by denial, or do i want to feel empowered/secured/confident because of it? which of the variables i tested made me feel the way i wanted?

your answer to many of these may be "both" or "i don't know," to which i suggest you spend some time on each. you'll either have a preference, or you'll switch back and forth, or find some middle ground - up to you.

one thing i've noticed is a theme among my advice asks is: how do i stay denied as long/edge as much as you, and that's for you to figure out if you even should. it's time to ask the question, what feels more doable for me: longer time periods without orgasms, or more edges total? you might say "both," to which i'd say, you and every newbie denial sub! it is 100% more feasible to pick one or the other as a goal at a time. hone those skills separately, and they'll naturally come together eventually if you decide you want them to.

step 5: reach for the stars! if you want to, that is :) you may just find you like a stable pattern of denial. you may find that pushing too hard past a certain point causes dropping. you may find that pushing too hard causes life stress. orrr you may find that "more" is never enough...like myself lol. any/all/it changing/some of each is 100% okay. or maybe you get off (or not) on setting impossible challenges and reaping the punishment for it :)

by this time, your body will have hopefully gotten past the awkward "mind thinks edging is hot, but so hot that i cum when trying to do it" phase. a combo of inner dom chatter + having intellectual/introspective challenges to work through was what got me to where i am right now lol. at some point, having my owner there to take the mental load off was great, but also, i'm so used to it that i still dom myself a lot lol. and a quick note: this may not work for you. that's okay, too: that's all part of your learning process. maybe you need external validation, and that's all there is to it - you're at least one step closer to understanding how denial works for you!

i'll finish with some lecturing to your "inner dom:"

good doms obey limits. if you don't like something you try, no matter how mean your inner dom is, you don't have to put up with it again.

good doms know life happens. if real life gets in the way of edging/completing goals, a good dom would never presume to come above that shit. if edging/completing goals is getting in the way of real life, a good dom would adjust so that it doesn't. responsibilities should continue to take precedence.

good doms are risk-aware. if you're experimenting with pain, bondage, anal, sensation play, etc., do what every good dom should do and educate yourself first! know the risks, and implement strategies to mitigate them.

good doms provide aftercare. take care of yourself on the comedown. try to allow time between a session and IRL responsibilities to recenter.

and finally, just a bit of affirmation for you, the person, as you navigate this exciting new lifestyle:

if you're not having fun, don't do it!

you are fully capable of this. whether it's my method or someone else's, if this is what you want, and it feels good, you can do it. you are not a bad sub if you can't, or if you can't do it the way someone else does.

this is not a masculine thing, or a feminine thing, or an enby thing, or a straight thing, or a gay thing, etc. it's not even a sub thing, really, but the sub perspective is the only one i can speak on. it's a kink, or a kink enhancer, that is "for" anyone who likes it!

in that vein, reject that which does not work for your body. do not be afraid to pass up edging advice just because someone seems to know what they're talking about. you also do not have to accept bioessentialist undertones just because it seems like good advice.

and finally: yes, you can dom yourself. you are capable, you are trustworthy (probably more so than even some doms lol), and you are absolutely worthy of your own submission and devotion.

have fun, stay safe, and drip a little, if it suits you c; (and don't hesitate to ask questions on my blog if you still have them!)

[utilitycaster]

In honor of that poll, which has apparently been answered by a bunch of loser rogue-fuckers, and was also written by someone who doesn't even have the update that gives you twelve poll options, please have a good ranking of sexiest D&D 5e classes, from me.

This only has the 13 officially published 5e classes so do not ask me about classes that are not that. Also, the existence of a handful of sexy or unsexy characters of that class does not a sexy or unsexy class overall make. I'm sure these two statements will not shut down all annoying people but by god I hope they shut down some.

Paladin. Self-explanatory: if you don't agree, you better explain yourself, unless you think they are outranked by...

Wizard. As Liam O'Brien said, what's sexier than wizards? And I said "paladins, but no one else." I'm also going to fuck up an Octavia Butler quote and say that her journal did not explicitly state that single-minded devotion is sexy but it is, and that's why wizards and paladins are, undisputably, the top two.

Warlock. Would be higher than wizards on the basis of sheer raw charisma but some warlock classes (archfey, hexblade) are extremely sexy and some are...pots in need of very unique lids, shall we say.

Bard. This is for competency and knowledge of mythology and musical instruments. If you're into some kind of memeriffic 20 CHA 7 INT Roll To Seduce bro shit, get the fuck out of here.

Ranger. Their combat abilities are not as great as they could be but this is also without a doubt the class that will invite you over and make a delicious foraged mushroom risotto and have lit candles they made themself. They are good with animals and can identify constellations. Entire package.

Barbarian and Fighter are tied. Do you prefer a flow state and passion or do you prefer dedication and persistence? Axe or sword? Raw power or precision? Equally valid; it's a matter of personal taste.

Cleric. One of the gods thinks they're special; it's hard not to be drawn in by that. Also, healing is the sexiest magical ability. Points off for the possibility of sanctimonious behavior.

Druid. This is just personal taste but I would find it weird if my partner was sometimes a giant scorpion, and I feel rangers are just the far sexier nature-loving option. People for whom druids are #1, I see you, I respect you, I disagree with you, but I do think you're valid.

Monk. Here's the problem. Yes flexible; everything else is kind of a solid "eh" for me. Honestly I think it's because D&D separates out dexterity and strength even though monks technically need both, and so the low-strength monk archetype really doesn't do it for me. It's not unsexy but it never wows me, and honestly in real life martial arts is usually more an aesthetic joy than a sexy one for me.

Sorcerer. Often physically attractive but I do not love a nepo baby, and absolutely the class least able to make you breakfast. Class most likely to attempt to make you breakfast and manage to fuck up scrambled eggs.

Artificer. Love the class but unfortunately I can only think of Belle's father in Beauty and the Beast (1991) when I think of what an artificer looks like. Wizards claimed the hot nerd spot; artificers never had a chance.

Rogue. Anyone can wear black leather. Anyone can twirl a butterfly knife and the ranger is going to be better at using it. You know what rogues are best at? Leaving through the window without waking you up. That's it. Bards have the same skills and then some and they're hotter by design. There are other classes with superior physical skills. Burst damage is already not actually that useful in 5e combat and even less so in the bedroom.

[redrandomposts]

IM SCREAMING NOT UNSHA'S WIFE DIY-ING HER OWN KPOP IDOL 😭 she's so valid for that tho i admit

unsha's wife : my little pet deserves to sing more bc hes more talented than any other pet out there but i dont want him to be killed in a singing death match bc thats just bad for business

unsha's wife : time to set up a new entertainment agency

unsha's wife accidentally causing the final downfall of alien stage the show bc aliens start to realise that it's better for business and overall entertainment to have their fave human pet idols not get killed onstage and instead are able to release new songs every few months 🧍 they learn the appeal of fanservice and fanmeets !! maybe anakt garden starts the trend of human pet idol groups by making the first survival show. 5050 on whether they kill the losers of the show however 🤷

(our levels of copium is incredible 😭)

till discovering ivan's still alive and speedruns the 5 stages of grief AGAIN. he blacks out and suddenly he has a concerning amount of illegally-acquired navi merch ? what is he DOING ?! he needs to get his shit together and find a way to get ivan out of there bc that's the least he could do ???

hyuna watching tillivan pine for each other from afar and questioning how her life has gotten to this point

— 🌦️

unsha behind his wife: so, like, how much money are we making here?

unsha's wife: what money?

*ivan raking in billions.*

unsha: ...okay, honey.

always listen to the wife, folks!

till, the #1 contributor to illegal ivan merch in the hideout. mizi is close at #2, but that's only because she's always accompanying till on his little... fibbits. I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED. till brings back so much that they have no choice to sell it... which increases their funds by, like, 270%. ivan the money totem?

for publicity, ivan wears multiple outfits and there's a poll each week to which one they make merch of... till manipulates the votes by getting hyuna to hack into the system and raise his favorite outfit's votes.

heperu sends luka to unsha's wife's company when he sees the success. ivan first meets luka on livestream, where it's like, surprise! here's your enemy from years ago! and they vibe together.

ivan will often give luka more food and then is like, "so where's the best place to disrupt the making of robots?"

guys im fixing luka too he needs to eat more (for the baby too).

the rebellion wanted to save ivan... and then luka showed up and hyuna and mizi is much more reluctant, like, ew it's the blonde twink why is he there?

sorry till your wife is being shipped with another man. what can you do.

[uncharismatic-fauna]

May Mammal Madness

Although this is about 2 months late, I'm announcing the official Tumblr version of March Mammal Madness-- a bracket to determine the Superior Animal!

For those of you who aren't mega-biology nerds, March Mammal Madness is a tournament based on the basketball competition of the same name, which pits different animals against each other. The battles are simulated, using real-world data, and the results are posted throughout March. You can read more about the tournament here.

This tournament will be following the 2024 bracket with some slight variations. First, all the plants in the original bracket will be replaced by animals of my choosing, due to my objection that plants are not animals and therefore are not qualified to compete. Second, rather than simulating the battles, which I have neither the time nor the resources to do, I will allow Tumblr to vote on the winner.

Otherwise, the rules are the same. Each animal in its respective section is ranked by how likely it is to win, with 1 being the most likely and 16 being the least likely. Assume that the combatants represent the most prime-aged, healthy and strong specimen of that species. The "battle" does not necessarily have to be to the death-- the winner can also "win" by displacing the other, or the loser may simply wander out of the arena in search of food/shelter/a mate. In rounds 1-3, the higher-ranked animal has the home-field advantage; for example, if a great white shark is facing a red squirrel, the shark is the higher-ranked animal and the battle will therefore take place in the Pacific Ocean. In rounds 4-6, the location will be 1 of four biomes-- Savannah, Tropical Forest, Arctic, or Deep Ocean-- randomly determined by me.

I will post approx. 2 polls each day, along with a short post detailing the basic information for each competitor. Each post will last 24 hours, at which time the winner will move on to the next game in the tournament until only one remains.

The first round of info posts will be put up on April 31st, and the first round of polls will be up on May 1st, so stay tuned!

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[fascinatedscrawls]

A Nice Day

"I don't know about this, Tucker. I just feel so," swiping another hand through the waist high water, Danny wrinkles his nose and fumbles for the right word. Not slow like when he can't keep up with Dash (ha, accidental pun!) at PE, but more, "Sluggish."

"Dude, it's just water." His friend points out unnecessarily before splashing a bit at Danny just to see him sputter. "How is this any worse than when you fly around in the Zone? Don't you, like, swim around in ecto?"

"No," well, actually, "kind of, but not really. It's more like flying - I will it to happen and the ecto responds."

Halfway through another splash, Tucker pauses. "Wait, if that's how you fly then how do you do it without ecto everywhere?"

Not waiting for him to recover, Danny retaliates by swiping an arm through the water. It feels even heavier at this speed, but it sends a respectable wave at Tucker who sputters.

"He uses his ecto, duh," Sam answers from under her dark umbrella a safe distance from the pool. Her boots are missing, but she looks even paler than usual as her dark clothes clash with the bright summer day. Pulling down her sunglasses she grins at them before asking, "how does it feel flying around in all that ghost blood while in the Zone?"

Tucker makes a grossed out face, but that thought occurred to Danny ages ago so his mind immediately applies that logic forward instead.

"I wonder if swimming in actual blood would be easier?"

"Come on, man," Tucker complains, "I'm trying to have a nice day!"

Conversely, Sam perks up. "Well, considering we're mostly water, I'd guess pretty similar to the pool, right?"

"Probably a little more like a salt water pool," Jazz chimes in from where she's sunbathing, an activity Danny's convinced she's doing wrong considering how much sunscreen she put on. "That wouldn't help Danny's 'sluggish' issue as I believe that's denser."

"Ugh, no thanks. I'll take normal pool water over that."

"Why not go intangible then?" Tucker asks, exasperated.

Well, it's worth a shot. A moment later and the pool water goes rushing into where Danny's standing. Swiping a hand through the water, he frowns as it meets no resistance.

"This is somehow worse," he complains, then gives Tucker a flat look when he tries to splash him again. He gets an annoyed look in return when the water goes right through him.

"Yeah, how am I supposed to win the splash fight like this?"

"You weren't going to win anyway," Danny refutes before abruptly turning tangible. All the water that rushed in immediately displaces itself and Danny uses Tucker's flinch to press his advantage, ignoring how Jazz and Sam complain from the poolside as they both get some splash damage.

"Oh, yeah?" Tucker finally manages, spitting out a bit of water before grinning back at him in a way that has Danny wondering what the trick is. "Well, at least I won't be the loser!"

Danny doesn't understand how that's possible before two more fighters enter the pool looking for revenge. He yelps, but can't quite go intangible fast enough to dodge all the water coming his way.

When he resurfaces it's to laughter and more blessedly cool water on this hot summer day.

He might lose, but Danny thinks it's still one of the nicest days in a while.

—————————

Thanks again for voting on the prompt! This one may be a little long, but I typed it on mobile and Tumblr won't let me check the word count lol

I'll be putting the next poll up shortly if you'd like to help me pick my next prompt!