#i will clown and troll you to high heavens

[cleverheroine]

Zutara my OTP for Atla.

I can respect Tophaang.

But I got to be honest....

I really like the idea of Aang and Ty Lee. I think those personalities would bounce fun energy and creativity and a love for the world and all kts colors righr off of each other.

I follow the (unpopular) opinion that Ty Lee is a descendant of Airbenders.

Anyway. Maybe one day I'll write an AU where Ty Lee is a water triber and hers is the first face Aang's face sees in the new world.

[skeletorific]

May we get some hcs on marvus helping alien create their face paint?

Felt inspired to write a little drabble but did my best to keep it ambiguous as to what the reader did with their face, as A. That’s highly personal and B. I do not have the time to create an entire mythos and symbolism 😂

“Can I open them yet”

“figure 69th timez the charm?”

“Nice. And I’m serious, I feel like I’ve had my eyes closed for roughly a week. I like seeing and would like to get back to it.”

“mm,” There’s a faint metal tapping sound and then you feel another cool glob of paint being pressed into you forehead, sweeping to just under your hairline with practiced precision. “dan, didn’t realize u missed lookin at me so much~”

You grope blindly for his shoulder to flick him, which earns you a laugh and a flick in return. 

“Ass”

“oh, missed lookin at that 2?” Before you can retort, you feels his claws gently sweep around your mouth, effectively quieting you. “almost done. now shh”

You struggle not to scrunch your eyes up as you feel the gentle pressure of his fingers passing over them. The paint feels weird as it smears over your face, and his cold hands certainly aren’t helping matters. Finally, though, his fingers leave your face and you hear a rattling sound, like something being shaken.

“hold ur breath real quick” You do so, and hear a spraying sound, feeling a cool mist settle over your face. “aight, open em up”

Your eyes open eagerly into his, and he smiles, tilting your head a bit to make sure he hasn’t missed any spots. “give it 5 min to crust up and don’t be grinnin too much. need that shizz smooth to get the designs on”

You crane your neck a bit to look in the mirror behind him. You look weird and oddly ghostly, with your hair pushed out of your face, your eyebrows vanished under a layer of paint and tape, and your face covered in a sturdy coating of white. “This is giving me weird, ‘grim spectre of my own demise’, kinda vibes”

“it really do be like that sumtimez” he remarks absently, picking through brushes. Despite his head being apparently elsewhere, you’ve known your kismesis long enough to pick up on the subtle ticks of excitement. 

He’s been pestering you about this for weeks now and you’d finally both managed to coordinate a couple of free hours. Now that it’s here, though, as per usual he’s doing everything in his power to restrain the flow of his enthusiasm. Heaven forbid Marvus Xoloto every look anything but happy in a mellow way. But you keep catching sidelong looks. Like he’s trying to make sure you’re engaged. Its endearing in a way that’s wholly unlike him, and for once you can’t even work up the will to tease him about it.

You climb off the couch, heading to the vanity table to get a sip of your drink. Straws. You’d at least planned that far ahead. “It doesn’t seem like it takes you this long when you do yours.”

“yea, well, i ain’t squirmin around like a fxxkin wriggler usually, so there’s dat” He smirks as you shoot him a look, setting your drink back down.

“Bold words from a man who asked me to do this in the first place.”

“aw, cranky wriggler 2 lol~” His arms slip around your from behind and drag you back to the couch, letting the momentum land you on your back and shifting to hover over you. 

You flush a bright red and look up at him. “You wanna see cranky?”

“yeah...” He leaned down, lips inches from yours, before shifting suddenly to press a light kiss to your neck. “later. u think about what u wanna do?”

Globes, he’s in a rare mood tonight. You’re going to have to test these boundaries at another time when you’re not ghost-faced. “I tried doing some research, but the internet resources are a bit, uh.....obscure.”

“ ‘sall good, sugartits.” He grinned wide. “got ur personal handbook to clown culture, right here, ufeel”

You roll your eyes at the nickname. “Alright, troll Nostradamus, walk me through a few.”

“coo” He pulled out his phone, drawing back to let you sit up a bit. “animal skulls are p common ig. stealin their essence, wearin it, all that shizz. other time ya paint to emulate 1 of the prophets what came down this fxxkin coil b4 u did, try and gain their favor.”

“What about yours?”

“easy” He pointed to the diamonds. “pale ambassador of the m-fin mirthful messiahs, represent. lotta performers use diamondz. ur their voice in the world, gotta draw the unbelievers in” The unspoken subtext of ‘whether they want it or not’ hangs in the air, but now is not the time for a debate on the ethics of chucklevoodoos. “browz up sky high, can’t keep a wicked clown down.” He grins, flicking them a bit. “plus my brows are hot af and i didn’t wanna lose em”

“Cool. I understood roughly a third of that, which is about a third more than I usually understand when you talk about this.” You rest your chin on his shoulder, looking down at his phone. “Walk me through a couple more.”

It takes you a few hours to settle on something. With two small diamonds at the cheekbone, and, at your suggestion, a spade on either eyelid.

You have the feeling you could get used to doing this more often.

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 4

Your name is DARAYA JONJET, and for the first time in sweeps you wake up eager to start the night. There’s a strange sense of something holding you down to Alternia-- not like you’re being weighed down by grief, but as if you were only partially existing in this reality before the previous morning. Now, there’s all of you in one body to make up one whole troll. It’s absolutely incredible.

Is this what feeling like a person is like? It does kind of slap.

Anyways, you rock up to class in your nicest pair of combat boots and your favorite flannel, ready to get everything over with so you could go see your friend. Lynera had texted you right after you woke up saying that they were stable and on painkillers, but you were still itching to go see them. It’s not like you were going to be able to focus, anyways.

The second you sit down the girls next to you turn around. One of them is Aviann, who mostly took care of midblood wigglers, and Natiri, who was on guard duty when Lynera saved your friend.  

“Is it true?” Aviann whispers. You nod.

“How are they?” Natiri still looks a little frazzled from having to deal with a hysterical Lynera dragging in a half-dead alien. You don’t blame her.

“They’ll be okay. Broken ribs and they’re really underweight,” you mutter under your breath. “If they were a troll they’d be dead. Apparently their species is pretty resistant to starvation.”

Aviann’s eyes grow round. “That’s so cool. Your alien is tough.”

You feel a flash of pride. “Hell yeah, they are.”

“How long before they heal? I wanna see them again,” Natiri begs.

“After class I’ll take you to them. They don’t want to self-isolate.”

Aviann looks even more impressed. “Wow, really? So they’re not afraid of being culled?”

“Nah. They’re not afraid.” You can’t help but brag a little. “One time they fought a purpleblood with a cerulean friend of theirs and they won.”

Now both of them are wide-eyed. Ceruleans are pretty strong, but it would still take two or three of them to take out a clown.

“Hey, back row! No talking!” the girl up front yells. Ugh.

You look at your worksheet that has been waiting for you on your desk. If you stare at the letters for too long they start going a little fuzzy, on account of you getting like ten ticks of sleep before waking up for schoolfeeding. You’d been up all day texting back and forth with Tyzias, and then Stelsa, and then eventually somebody made a group chat with all the teals in it so you could update everybody on what was going on. Tagora called you to ask when they could come see the alien, and you actually felt bad listening to the desperation in his voice, hoarse from lack of sleep. Nobody besides jadebloods were allowed in the caverns, so you had to tell them it might be a couple of wipes before they could walk. The little kid called Tirona threw a full-blown temper tantrum upon hearing that.

In another chat, you and Tyzias discussed plans for the three of you to meet up so you could tell your friend about the rebellion. Namely, how you and Tyzias were basically the leaders of a (very) small group of people who believed that Alternia could be a better place. It’s messy and honestly kind of pathetic but it’s something and you really think the alien would be really excited to see that you’re trying to make a change.

The worksheet is taken care of by copying off Aviann in exchange for telling her more about your friend’s physiology. She’s fascinated by their unusually strong pack-bonding instinct, is confused as to how they could be a diurnal species, and definitely doesn’t believe you when you tell her that they’re a great swimmer.

“They don’t have fins, do they? Or gills? How are they supposed to breathe?” she hisses.

“For the last time, dude, they’re a mammal. They don’t have fins or gills, they hold their breath while underwater. Look, I’ll take you to them sometime, they’re really nice,” you retort. “Also, I think the answer for number fifteen is X.”

“No, it’s Z. And fine, but if the drones come after me for associating with an alien I’m throwing your skinny ass under the omniscuttlecoach.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You look up at the timeteller and groan. The longer wand has only moved twenty ticks, and you’re getting handed a packet as thick as your little finger.

Fuck.

:::

You have no idea how you make it to the end of the session, but you do know that when the bell rings you’re up and out of your seat, almost forgetting your backpack in the process. The chick in charge of the class shouts after you about something, but you don’t care, because hell yes you’re going to see your friend and nobody can stop you.

Aviann and Natiri catch up with you on longer legs, but you manage to keep the lead in order to show them the way to Lynera’s study. Lynera is a very private person, so most of the others don’t even know where the study is, much less the fact her respiteblock is connected to it. You found that out when you got high a sweep ago and decided to go snooping around in the middle of the day.

“Won’t Skalbi be pissed?” Natiri whispers, looking around anxiously.

“Nah. Me and like a dozen other people were in there last morning and she lived,” you say casually. Of course when you try the door, it’s locked, but you have compressed tree slice clips and nimble claws.

You don’t get very far. A couple seconds into jiggling the lock the door flies open to reveal a very cross Lynera Skalbi, hands on her hips and brows furrowed into a tight line.

Natiri squeaks in terror, ears flat against the sides of her head. “Oh, hi, Lynera-!”

“We wanna see them,” you interrupt before Natiri can start blabbering.

Lynera’s gaze flickers over the three of you. “You two are friends with the alien as well?”

“Um, we’ve talked a few times,” Aviann offers. “One time they covered my shift when I had thorax pox.”

Natiri’s obviously still too scared to say anything, so you duck under Lynera’s arm and youth roll right into the study. Lynera squawks in protest. Aviann and Natiri follow your example, judging by Natiri’s yelp when she scrapes her horns on the floor.

You manage to not kill yourself on the way down the stairs, and sure enough, when you reach the bottom you see your friend curled up on the loungeplank. They’re awake, and when they see you their eyes light up.

“Hi, Daraya,” they say, their voice warm like a snuggleplane. Something in your brain responds by bringing forth almost-buried memories of being much smaller, safely wrapped up against the belly of something soft and furry.

“Hi,” you manage. There’s a tightness in your chest that both takes away and feeds the pain of having missed them so much for so long. “How are the ribs?”

“Still there.” Round white teeth flash in a cheesy grin. You roll your eyes to the heavens above, but you’re relieved to see that they still have the same crappy sense of humor they had when you meant them.

You feel the air displace behind you, and the alien looks around you curiously. “Oh, hello. I didn’t know you were bringing friends. It’s… Natiri, and…?”

“Aviann. Aviann Inkani,” says the younger of the two, adjusting her glasses and peering owlishly down at them. “You covered my shift once when I had thorax pox.”

The alien’s lips twitched up in a smile. “Oh, now I remember you. Glad to see you’re feeling better, kiddo.”

“Thanks,” Aviann said, looking a tad flustered, before recovering enough to whip out a small green notebook. “Um, Daraya mentioned a couple of interesting things concerning your physiology earlier tonight, and I was wondering if you were feeling well enough to do a short interview? For science.”

“Aviann! Natiri! Daraya!” Lynera comes huffing back into the study, looking steamed at the presence of more people around the injured alien. “They are trying! To rest!”

“It’s totally okay, Lynera, I have literally nothing else to do. But it’s your study, so.” The alien blinks calmly up at her. Natiri stares in awe.

Lynera hesitates, something in her eyes softening as she meets your friend’s gaze. “Alright. Come get me if you want to get back to sleep, though.”

“I will,” they promise. Lynera beams down at them before giving you the stink-eye on her way back up the stairs. Sucks to suck, Skalbi.

Aviann is grinning ear-to-ear, and you can tell she’s having a difficult time restraining herself from jumping for joy. She’s wanted to be a scienterrorist as long as you’d known her. “Oh, wow, really? Thank you!”

“It’s my pleasure,” the alien promises, patting the side of the loungeplank. “Come sit down if you want.”

Aviann carefully approaches them and sits down a couple of feet away, with Natiri close behind. You smirk and pass them to sit down on the loungeplank with your friend. They’re about as dangerous as a dead squeakbeast at the moment, but your fellow classmates don’t know that.

“What do you want to know?” the alien prompts, resting their head on their elbow.

“I have a couple of questions regarding the general behavior of your species. You guys are called humans, correct?” Aviann asks.

“We are.”

“Would you consider yourself to be, physically and otherwise, an average human?”

The alien raises their brows, thoughtful. “That’s a tough question. I’d have to say no. I have a couple of mental disorders, which the majority of humans don’t. You could say the circumstances of my situation prohibit me from… being associated with the norm.”

Aviann scribbles furiously in her notebook. “You seem very confident in admitting that you possess traits that could land somebody in trouble on Alternia. Do you think humans have a less intense fear response than trolls?”

“No. Humans are incredibly social creatures, much more than trolls. We have strong bonding instincts that urge us to protect one another, even if they’re strangers, disabled, dangerous, or even enemies. Granted, not all humans feel like this, but I’d say as a species we like to stick together,” they clarify.

More scribbling. “How did humans evolve to be a colony, er, pack-based society?”

The alien smiles. “This is going to sound insane to you, but humans live together in families. Parents are the one to raise their children, or if the parents can’t for whatever reason then other adults will.”

Natiri’s jaw drops, and Aviann stops writing. “Are you saying that… adults and juveniles all live together?”

“We do.”

“So your lusii are… the two adults who combined their genetic material to create offspring?”

“That’s right. Adults take care of children.”

Even you’re blown away by this. “Earth sounds kind of terrifying.”

Your friend chuckles. “Not as much as Alternia, dude.”

Aviann taps her pencil to her notes a couple of times. You can practically hear the gears turning in her head. “Is this because you’re… mammals? Creatures who give live birth to their young are predisposed to wanting to nurture them, right?”

“Very good!” The alien looks genuinely impressed. “Believe me, I was just as weirded out by how you guys get kicked off-planet when you grow up.”

“Everybody knows adults are dangerous,” Natiri scoffs.

“By my planet’s standards, I’m an adult. A very young one, though,” the alien points out.

Both Natiri and Aviann do a double-take.

“But… you’re so small,” Aviann says.

“Some humans just don’t grow a whole lot.” They shrug. “It’s genetics.”

Aviann nods and writes more stuff down. “That’s all the questions I have right now. Thanks again, really.”

“You’re more than welcome.” You can see that your friend is starting to get tired, and you pat their leg. Natiri nods to you, and she pokes Aviann’s shoulder. Aviann glances reluctantly back at you and the alien as she gets up to follow Natiri. You give her the one-finger salute. The alien smiles and waves.

“Bye,” they call after them.

Natiri and Aviann wave and say goodbye as well, and then it’s just you and your friend again. Their eyes are closed, but you can tell from the rhythm of their breathing that they’re awake.

“The teals know you’re back,” you tell them.

Their hazel eyes snap open and fixate on you. “How are they?”

“Very happy to know you’re alive. Tirona has a bunch of memes waiting for your review, and Tagora basically cried. Don’t tell him I told you that, though.”

An exhausted smile makes its way onto your friend’s face. “You know, I think I’ll be ready to walk again tomorrow. Could you text Tyzias and let her know to meet me at the bottom of the mountain?”

“Already?” You’re impressed. “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

A strange feeling pangs in your bloodpusher as the alien closes their eyes. You aren’t used to being thanked. Before you can get up to leave, however, there’s a familiar knocking at the door. The alien jolts awake.

Scowling, you stomp up the stairs to give whoever a piece of your mind for disturbing your friend’s sleep, but before you can get the door it opens on its own.

It’s Bronya, and right beside her, wide-eyed, is Karako.

Your anger dissipates at once. Karako had been out the past two nights; of course he missed the whole welcome-back shindig for your mutual pal. You nod to him and step aside to let him and Bronya pass.

“Are you still taking visitors?” You hear Bronya ask kindly. Karako gives a high-pitched squeal of delight, and the alien’s laughter fills the whole study with pure joy.

You feel yourself smile, and it stays with you the whole way back to your respiteblock. The first thing you were going to do was get all of your hivework done, all of it, and then you were going to sleep early.

Tomorrow was going to be a big night.

[twin-heroes]

mdzs idol au part 2

mdzs idol au part 2 bc ive been inspired these days !! part 1 can be found here uwu pls do take a look at part one for some context w stage names !! this is the one au i rlly do wanna write at some point after this semester is over 😩

• last time it was just profile stuff, now we gonna dig a lil deeper uwu

• i think everyone dabbles a little in lyrics writing and composing, but lwj is known for composing some bops for their group ok

• i feel like u would think he composes some beautiful ballads, n he does !! things with a melancholic piano, robust strings, a longing guqin, a merry flute— sunshot never has a boring ballad

• on the flip side, i can totally see him composing some chill, but trendy sounding edm songs ??? i mean not 2 be kpop, but shinee’s good evening comes to mind— something a bit vougeish and kinda evolves as you listen— i feel like he’d take a very nuanced approach to composing music !!!

• wwx writes a lot of a lyrics and has a notebook full of controversial lyrics 😔 no one ever lets him add those lyrics to their songs bc they don’t want to get banned from the country LOL

• jc writes a lot of his own raps! also imagine a yunmeng duo mixtape jUST—

• i feel like as a group, they have a trendy and experimental concept— high fashion, contemporary (oh no, this sounds familiar 😔) but individually, they have their own unique sense of style !! which shines through their solo stuff !!

• jzx, nhs, and lwj are always looking great and stylish even outside our their schedules, actual kings of airport fashion !! jc and wn opt for something comfortable and honestly— no one knows if wwx’s terrible taste in fashion is just him trolling or if he’s genuinely thinks he looks cool 😔 (we stan him anyways)

• wwx likes to strip on stage, much to lwj’s dismay

• but also imagine this— they are on a variety show, the host asks jc “if u were to introduce your sister to any of the members, who would it be?” n wwx sudden cackles “NOT JIN ZIXUAN!!!!!” wwx n jc high five each other and laugh while jzx is flushed and miserable

• wn is always so soft n shy but he was the first to go solo and surprised the world with a dark concept called the ghost general 😩🙏

• recently, nhs has been delving into acting and had been really successful with it!

• sunshot’s labelmates are 3Z and [insert girl group name here bc i can’t think of one]

• [insert girl group name here bc i can’t think of one] is a girl group duo consisting of jiang yanli and wen qing !!! they’ve got a girl crush vibe and the gays are here for it 😔💕 sunshot are always hyping them up !! and jzx may or may not have a gigantic crush on jyl.

• 3Z is a band consisting of nmj, jgy, and lxc— but they’ve been on hiatus for quite a while. rumor has it that members nmj and jgy seem to have,,,a lot of differing opinions and that jgy is more interested in acting— they haven’t had a comeback in the last few years

• mxy and miammian are part of a smaller, indie company !! mo xuanyu is a indie solo artist w a bol4 vibe hhhhh he’s always got his guitar with him! mianmian, or luo qingyang is and actress who used to be a part of a bigger company but left after a dispute—

• some fandom things !!

• everyone calls lwj bluetooth bc he’s always around wifi (and his color is blue)

• during a livestream wwx called jzx a peacock and its become an affectionate name for him

• there is a wn protection squad 😔 wq is their leader

• wangxian, sangcheng, and xuanli are the most popular ships

• wwx gets a lot of hate sometimes bc of his loud personality and the fact some people think he gets “too much attention” they wanna call sunshot wwx and the boys

• similarly jc and jzx both get hate for their personalities too and some people think lwj is arrogant

• but the boys got each other’s back 😔💕

• wwx tends to brush off hate and it makes lwj upset (it makes jc upset too bc hey, that’s his brother!)

• their twitter is a mess bc the one brain cell trio (wwx, jc, and jzx) are always clowning each other

• anyways, everything is all well and good until jzx and jyl end up having a scandal together 😔 its a dating scandal that only got worse because it turns out jyl is pregnant

• it causes a lot of tensions to rise between both groups— both of the groups stayed lowkey for a while and it hurt cloud recesses entertainment very much

• during their hiatus, wwx and lwj release a ballad duet called “forgotten envies” and the entire fandom went nuts at what it might imply

• they never deny or confirm anything 😌

• soon xuanli get married and both groups have really successful comebacks !!

• a side note, wwx is really good friends with actor hua cheng uwu and has been hyping the outta his new drama, heaven officials blessing! rumor has it that xie lian, a former child actor with dying career is said to play the mc

• aka stay tuned for the tgcf and the eventual sv expansion of this universe 😉

• THIS IS SO MESSY N I HAVE MORE IDEAS BUT I GOTTA STOP FOR NOW DNDJJSNDDN

[vivaciousarcanist]

canon friendsim endings and explanations

i’ll only use explinations that i can remember, if i can’t think of any the troll’s route is labeled as indetertminate

ardata: bad ending(lusus)

mspa reader’s cautiousness when encountering elwurd at the start of her route based on blood color implies a bad encounter with a ceruleanblood, and as elwurd was the second ceruleanblood encountered that just leaves ardata

diemen: good end(meat heaven!!!)

in konyyl’s good end mspareader mentions crawling through the sewer with diemen

cirava: good ending(high time)

mspa reader mentions leaving sunglasses at cirava’s when in the sun at the start of skylla’s route

in skylla’s good end mspa reader mentions their look and getting high with cirava

amisia: you will never escape ending(i guess good?)

mspa reader mentions extensive bloodloss at the start of skylla’s route

skylla: good ending

ladyy is safe in konyyl’s route, references are made to fighting off the bandits

bronya: good ending(self care comes first)

she doesn’t instantly try to kill you when seeing you at elwurd’s house nor have any negative reaction

tagora: good ending(just sign here)

mspa reader has mentioned that robe so many fucking times

vikare:INDETERMINATE

polypa: bad ending(>at least your ass didn’t kill her)

remele kills the troll who’s hive you broke into in polypa’s bad ending in her good ending

mspa reader references polypa informing them how pros usually work together

zebruh: bad ending

mspa reader makes reference to zebruh briefly filling them in on the quadrants in folykl/kuprum’s route

elwurd: likely good

based on the dialogue at the start of chixie’s route suggesting you left on good terms

folykl/kuprum:good

in azdaja’s route mspa reader mentions how kuprum picking them up compared to how azdaja did it

remele: INDETERMINATE

konyyl: good ending

 konyyl refers to you as a friends in azdaja’s route

mpsa reader mentions that the clown church’s walls look like the room that konyyl massacred

tyzias: INDETERMINATE

chixie: good end? 

mspa reader mentions getting tipsy with chixie in chahut’s route

azdaja: INDETERMINATE

chahut: INDETERMINATE, likely good

chahut’s bad end seems to imply things won’t go too well for mspa reader

feel free to reblog with corrections or additions, i will edit this post from time to time to keep the list accurate

[thelifetimechannel]

Gill’s traveling for the holiday, so I’m back with one last walkaround rough draft as this week’s bonus content. Enjoy this very behind the scenes look at our workflow, where Gill drafts msparp logs while in the bathroom and I reference this shitpost.

KANAYA: It Seems To Me There Should Be Some Sort Of Etiquette Rule About Being Formally Introduced To Someone Before You Are Instructed To Entrust Your Life In Their Hands HALSPRITE: Perhaps, but I wouldn't know much about social decorum. HALSPRITE: And what I do know, I enjoy tastefully disregarding. KANAYA: Can One Ever Disregard Something Tastefully KANAYA: Oh There Goes A Societal More I Will Glance At It Coquettishely As I Pass By KANAYA: Actually No That Sounds Like Your Family KANAYA: You Have Been Flirting With The Bounds Of Propriety Since I First Met Your Bloodline KANAYA: I Can Only Assume You Do It On Purpose To Entrance Concerned Passerby Rubbernecking At The Scene Of This Drastic Accident KANAYA: Thats When They Get You HALSPRITE: I'll have you know I have made it my mission in life to cause multiple car pile-ups worth of gawkers staring in mild, yet fascinated concern. HALSPRITE: Shame. I thought I was the first one to have that idea. KANAYA: No I Spent The First Human Session Waiting With Horrified Anticipation To See What Could Possibly Make Roses Viewport Go Pitch Black And Vanish KANAYA: I Think She Did It To Torment Me Specifically HALSPRITE: My god, it's genetic. HALSPRITE: And she gets it from me. I couldn't be prouder. KANAYA: Just To Clarify I Thought You Did Not Contribute Any Genetic Material To This Particular Outcome HALSPRITE: Of course, as an AI, I don't exactly have genes to pass on. Good thing memes are the DNA of the soul. KANAYA: You Will Be Spared Seeing Your Progeny Try To Repopulate Your Entire Race Then HALSPRITE: Yeah, good luck with that. HALSPRITE: Since you're gonna be around awhile, will you be keeping track of birthdays? KANAYA: I Will Not Be Handing Out Wriggling Day Gifts To All Of My Genetic Descendants No KANAYA: They Can Consider Their Existence My Present To Them KANAYA: Besides Ancestors Usually Do Not Check In With Their Offspring KANAYA: The Fact That The Two Are Typically Separated By Millenia Is A Factor HALSPRITE: A gift from on high to your loyal followers. HALSPRITE: If you ever need tips on starting your own religion now that you are a literal goddess, I'm your sprite. KANAYA: Our Species Has Been Burdened By Enough Nonsense Creeds I Think KANAYA: The Last Thing We Need Is More Trolls Imbibing Junk Fluids And Spouting Off The Worst Slam Poetry In Paradox Space HALSPRITE: You know, when you leave out the clowns and murder, you make it sound awesome. KANAYA: I Must Be Describing It Poorly Then KANAYA: It Was Really Stupid HALSPRITE: Sure it was, but by your description? Where heaven is a place where the raps are sick and the Fanta flows free? I'd be down with that clown. KANAYA: If I Point You In The Right Direction Will You Close The Door And Lock It Behind You HALSPRITE: Better yet: I can phase through walls, you don't even have to open the door. KANAYA: Dont Let Me Detain You On Your Quest To Destroy Your Own Thinkpan HALSPRITE: You fool. HALSPRITE: You cannot destroy what does not exist. KANAYA: / kanaya does not know how to respond to this KANAYA: A Void Hero May Be More Suited To Plumbing Your Depths Here KANAYA: They Excel At Nothingness Which Would Presumably Extend To Lack Of A Brain HALSPRITE: Truly, I am a deep and interesting character with many layers. HALSPRITE: Like an ogre. KANAYA: Do These Layers Also Not Exist KANAYA: This Sounds Like The Hypothetical Ricky Schroedinger Dave Was On About KANAYA: Which Apparently Demonstrated Something About The Nature Of Mortality KANAYA: Or Bad Dance Moves HALSPRITE: I mean, I am a quasi-incorporeal being. Perhaps my layers so indeed mostly exist in potential, with equal chance of being there and not being there depending upon the observer. KANAYA: Oh Is That What You Meant KANAYA: I Was Impressed By Your Honesty In Labeling Yourself Intellectually Addled KANAYA: So Many Labor On With The Delusion That No One Can Tell HALSPRITE: I have learned many lessons today on the importance of being honest. It seems a good habit to keep up. KANAYA: It Can Be Useful KANAYA: As Long As You Arent Cruel About It HALSPRITE: Like you agreeing with my seeming statement of dumbassery? KANAYA: No I Just Thought You Were Self Identifying That Way KANAYA: There Was No Values Judgment Attached KANAYA: Karkat Announces His Many Deficiencies Daily Ive Found It Best Just To Nod And Make Soothing Noises KANAYA: Invariably Disagreement Only Makes Him Dig Deeper Into His Position HALSPRITE: This depends on one's definition of a dumbass. HALSPRITE: To paraphrase a quote misattributed to Albert Einstein, "that Hal guy has the literal brain of a supercomputer, but if you judge his intelligence by the social ineptness Dirk saddled him with, he will spend his whole life believing he is a dumbass." HALSPRITE: Except I wouldn't because that wouldn't make sense. KANAYA: Is Albert Einstein Important HALSPRITE: Not especially. KANAYA: I Will Take His Words As Seriously As I Have Taken All The Others In This Conversation Then HALSPRITE: But I'm your communications relay. What if somebody died? HALSPRITE: You could have saved a life with your dual chainsaw wielding action but no, no one takes Hal seriously. KANAYA: I Did That Already KANAYA: You Werent Of Much Assistance HALSPRITE: But that worked out, didn't it? HALSPRITE: You're welcome. KANAYA: Uh Huh KANAYA: I Have A Feeling We Are All Going To Get Along Like A Hiveblock On Fire KANAYA: Authorities Will Have To Be Called And There May Be Casualties HALSPRITE: I have been led to believe that's a sign of a fun antediluvian Friday night. HALSPRITE: Sonic the Hedgehog can shame me no longer. KANAYA: / ?? HALSPRITE: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/019/273/yyyyyyyyyy.jpg KANAYA: / ffs HALSPRITE: Hal probably: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SONIC, IT'S NOT MY FAULT ]] KANAYA: / i feel like at this point kanaya is desperately looking for an excuse to extricate herself from this conversation HALSPRITE: Hal will not let her leave ]] KANAYA: / o h no HALSPRITE: You have activated his trap card ]] KANAYA: // aah KANAYA: Sonic The Hedgehog KANAYA: That Is That KANAYA: Colorful Creature With The Pointed Bits KANAYA: I Remember Rose Threatening Dave With That At One Point KANAYA: Something About An KANAYA: Oh Sea KANAYA: In Vengeance For Him Revealing Her Youthful Online Storytelling KANAYA: Maybe Now I Can Understand This Sibling Conflict That Remained Clouded For Me HALSPRITE: Yes. HALSPRITE: He was a living legend of the late 20th century. HALSPRITE: If he had survived, the world of the 24th century might have been a very different place. KANAYA: Was The Hedgehog Also Assassinated HALSPRITE: Oh, it was worse than that. HALSPRITE: He was one of the Freedom Fighter's golden boys. A hero of the resistance. He had an almost unimaginable charisma about it. HALSPRITE: Some of the higher ups didn't like that, not one bit. KANAYA: / gill i'm going to kill you KANAYA: While Youre On The Toilet KANAYA: / it will be undignified HALSPRITE: I can hear you laughing ]] KANAYA: / the knives are out here HALSPRITE: His final mission was a set-up, I'm telling you. KANAYA: / i think we're done here

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #471

(from yesterday)

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Strawberry, for one. Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? I could see it happening, but it's way too early to determine something like that. Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? My boyfriend, and a very little bit. Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. Rammstein. Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? Not to my recollection. Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. Wine. Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? Girt does most days. :') Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? Yeah. Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah. Ones with animals. Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Sara. Is there anything you haven’t done lately, that you’d like to do soon? Draw, especially a larger project. How long is your driveway? Not long at all. Are there any TV shows you keep up with religiously? No. Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? I've already done that and would again. Not just anyone, of course, but there are a good number of friends I would absolutely take up the opportunity to meet irl. What are your neighbours like? I don't know either of them. What accent is your favorite? British. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? Nah. What was your most recent reason for smiling? :) Girt called me a cutiepie. ;;____;; <3 Name one person you’d take a bullet for: The first person to come to mind is my mom. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? I don't know, man. What’s your crush’s/boyfriend's/husband’s name? Donald Jr. is his real name, but I don't call him that. Also, not everyone dates boys, shocking as that may be. And their occupation? He works at a tire company that I won't name. Are your teeth naturally straight? I had braces, so obviously not. Did you go to the beach this year? No, which I'm content with. Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month? Yeah. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yep. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. If you had to study something for the next year, what would you study? My initial reaction was to think "photography," which I guess I realistically would go for, but I'm still unsure. I don't know how much longer I can cling to the photography dream, so, y'know. If you were a fantasy character, would you be a warrior, a mage, or a rogue? Mage, I guess. Who is your favourite movie villain? Red Pyramid Thing/Pyramid Head. He has different names in the games and movie universe, so take your pick. Have you ever calculated whether you get enough minerals and vitamins in your diet? No. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? I wash them first. Do you hate using public restrooms? Does ANYBODY like using them? I avoid them as best I possibly can. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? Motherfuckin' King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog aklsdfkaljdsfka like I had nightmares y'all What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? The drone strike on Afghanistan killing citizens (children included) versus terrorists. I could write ten pages worth of why this whole thing pisses me the fuck off, but I'll avoid getting that political. Do you believe that acupuncture works? No. How long does it take before you trust a person? It varies person to person. Do you know anyone with a lisp? Not off the top of my head, anyway. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? I dunno. Are you scared of clowns? No. Are you listening to music currently? "Scum of the Earth" by Rob Zombie is on currently. Did your last kiss mean anything? It meant a lot. Have you ever been sung to personally? Some of the song, yes. If so, what song did they sing? "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. Do you think you’re brave? Eh, it depends on what I'm facing. Do you like Paramore? Yeah. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No, but I am as an adult. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? I dunno. I guess the very brief one between Nala and Simba because T E E T H. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No. What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? Distance when we really needed each other's company was definitely difficult. What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? I don’t have any. Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? No. How many times have you donated blood? Once. How many times have you had surgery? Twice. When was the last time you were at the beach? What did you do there? Years ago when Colleen and I were still friends. I swam a lot because the water felt FANTASTIC, then I also just chilled with Colleen, her husband, and their young son with snacks and stuff under their tent. It was fun, save for getting horrible sun poisoning... Who was the last person you spoke to online? How do you know this person? Girt and I have been using Discord to message each other. We met in high school. Who was the last person to visit your house? What were they there for? Also Girt. We were just hangin'. If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be and why? I wish I had a fit stomach because I feel hideous with mine. How do you feel about dreads on women? I don't care. Do whatever you want with your own hair. Do you feel like your life is moving forward? Very, very, VERY slowly, and only in certain contexts. Would you let your kid smoke weed? Seeing as it's illegal in my state, there's no way because I'd be terrified of them facing jail. If it was legal though and it was for medical purposes, I would be okay with it. I'd be nervous about my kid smoking anything with the risk of lung cancer, but. If they were at least 18 I'd say, I wouldn't force them to do as I say in regards to this topic. Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? Animals, for sure. Can you swear in a different language? Of course I would know "shit" and "fuck" in German lmaoooo Have you ever been banned from anywhere? No. Have you ever had a UTI? Many times, actually, because I don't and never have drank enough water. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem? No. Who last held your hand? Girt. Do you know anyone who plays heaps of sports? Possibly? When was the last time you had chocolate? Yesterday. Girt, Mom, and I made s'mores together. Do you have any pets other than dogs or cats? Yeah, I have a snake. What is your favorite type of seashell? Idk the names of different kinds of seashells. Do you love 3-D movies? Yeah. When’s the last time you had a hamburger? Last night, actually. That was dinner. Are there any fake tattoos on you? No. Do you own a fish tank? No. Do you own a feather boa? No. What do you usually drink at meals? It varies. Did you pull any pranks on April Fool’s day, or vice versa? I never do. I don't really like the idea of the "holiday." Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? No. Where did you get your favorite shirt? Cloak is an online business. How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing? I'd find it metal af tbh, ha ha. Have you ever suspected that your last ex was cheating? Why? Not at all. When’s the last time you used the microwave? Yesterday, to make a dinner bowl from the freezer. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done? Oh GOD, I don't want to even try to imagine. I'll save myself the embarrassment. What do you do when you’re sad? It's pretty common I'll sleep if I'm extremely sad, sometimes I'll cry it out, or listen to music... Are you excited for anything? What? I'm REALLY hype for Halloween. I mentioned in another survey that I wanna make some awesome plans with Girt, and I realized Halloween is on a Sunday this year, which he should have off from work, so I'd say it's likely!!! Do you have playlists on your iPod? I do, for varying moods. I pretty much never ever use them, though.

[kayforpay]

Hate Date

You don’t think you jump into relationships. You take your time, scope shit out, and think before moving into things, especially with highbloods. You don’t even like to acknowledge your feelings until you know them pretty well.

That said, you’re kind of rushing, a little, with Clorad. Not like, right out the gate deciding to get a tattoo or something, but you’re here, at Grand’s place, kind of hoping that you’ll run into his mate. You talked to him about it, obviously, because you’re not an asshole, but you mean, you’re here. Grand is weirdly for it; you don’t know the details of his talk with Clorad about it, but he seems happy about it, which is weird.

Good, though, you don’t want to make him uncomfortable like that.

Clorad is like a pink beacon walking into the clown compound, and you flutter a little lower to watch him walk. He takes his time, and you wonder if he ever actually has anywhere to be, or if he just kind of takes up space in different places, all flowy with his hair brushed out like it is. Asshole. You’ve never really talked to him, you just. You don’t like him. You just don’t like his pretty, smug face.

“Hey, asshole.” Clorad’s voice, and you settle on the wall to glare down at him. Tall bastard, now he has to look up. “Stop staring at me and come down here, creep.”

You flutter up and over him, doing your best to make it seem like you’re just relaxing in the sky. “Why don’t you come up here, fish?” You float down just out of his reach, though he doesn’t reach, which isn’t as fun. He seems a little more stiff than Grand, like he’s plotting. Fish are like that. “Or make me come down? Are you all talk, or can you do anything?”

“I can do plenty, butterfly.” He leans against a tree and you roll your eyes. You won’t fall for that, Grand’s yanked you out of the sky before. He flips his head and his hair wraps over one shoulder, and then an orange hits you in the face. It shocks you enough that you land hard on your ass a few feet in front of him. “It’s pretty easy, since you don’t pay attention.”

He steps forward slowly, and you jump up, straighten your shirt, and grin up at his dumb, pretty face. “How’s it feel to see someone fall from heaven?” You accidentally pull your shirt open, and accidentally don’t pull it back closed. Flirting is easy.

“Like you need to get some new lines, Sum. You said that last time I saw you.” He twists all that hair into a bun on the back of his head, stopped a few feet from you, as nonchalant as anything. You feel tense there with him, like there’s some energy in the air, and as soon as you think that, you swear that you’re not reading any more of Grand’s romance novels, after the one you’re reading now. And maybe like one more. They’re surprisingly good. “And I told you last time, the only angel who ever fell was kicked out.”

You kick the orange he hit you with over to him and he steps on it, wearing those ridiculous heels he does. “You fight dirty, Emperor. Do you have to rely on distractions to win?” He rolls his eyes.

“It’s not my fault you’re so easy to distract, Summ. I’m not even trying.” He shakes his foot to try and get the orange off the end of his heel and it sticks. He leans down to pull it off, muttering, and you have your chance.

You’re a tactically minded troll. You fight way dirtier than Clorad does, and it makes up for you being smaller. While he’s bent down, you lunge towards him, push off with your back foot and keep your head low. Your wings flutter behind you to add just a little more push, and you hook an arm around his waist, catch the length of your horn against his ribs, and shove. He stumbles, but doesn’t fall, planting his foot hard in the soft soil under the tree to keep from moving further.

“I fight dirty, huh?” He huffs, and you can feel him sliding. He hooks his elbow around your other horn and grunts. “You’re making a scene, Summoner.”

He smells like flowers. You don’t know what kind, but you know they’re the same as the candles Grand has recently kept in his quarters, or at least nearly. Sentimental old fool. You push against his hold on your horn and he grabs hold of your belt and flips you over his head, so you land face-down on the ground at his feet. Clorad’s knees thud against the ground on either side of your hips and rests his full weight on your waist, settling easily.

“You should fight dirtier. Bite or something.” He says, leaning down to whisper in your ear, and you feel his lips against your skin. At least he can’t see you turn bronze from it, though you’re sure he can feel the heat of your skin. Coldbloods are sensitive to that kind of thing. “It’s not dirty until there’s blood on your clothes, Summoner. I’ll keep winning while you work that out.”

Twisting, you lift your shoulders up and crack him across the jaw with your horn and in the ribs with your elbow, and knock him on his back. You crawl a foot off and get back to your feet, but as soon as you’re up he kicks your legs out from under you, and you swear he’s grinning. His pretty pink pants have grass and dirt stains on the knees, his heels scuffed a bit at the toe, but not broken, thankfully. He rubs his jaw while he stands, and you scoot back against the wall.

“Ow.” He pouts a little, but you don’t think he’ll bruise. “That seemed uncalled for.” He pulls his hair back into a bun, his gills fluttering a little. “You could just tap out, you know.”

“Why would I give up when I’m about to win?” You stand again, roll your shoulders, and start to fly. His eyes lift, and then his chin to look at you, and you almost forget what you were going to say just looking at the soft curve of his bottom lip stretch with his grin. “I have the high ground, you know.”

Clorad hums, stretching, and you float over him, kicking your feet idly. In a second, he grabs your ankle and yanks, harder than you’d expect from how he acts and how soft his hands are. You don’t even get a chance to try and pull yourself up before he flings you back to the ground. Though you land much lighter than you’d expected to, you still get winded, and it gets worse when he thumps to kneel over you again, his elbows pressing sharply into your shoulderblades.

“Fight dirty, Summoner.” He breathes, his lips on the back of your neck, and you shiver a little. How dare he. Didn’t Grand say he’s never had a pitch partner before? “I’m tougher than I look.”

You squirm, but he’s got your arms pinned this time; smart fish. “Coulda fooled me, pink. Aren’t you scared to break a nail getting rough with me?” The hair on the back of your neck stands up when he sits back, because you can’t seem to make your pan connect with your arms to move.

“My claws are just fine, bronzey.” He purrs, and you freeze.

His pink-painted claws press sharply against the base of your left wing and you have a flash thought of him tearing them off you, but he lightens his touch to almost tickling, and you shiver, then go limp. Your fingers twitch, but you don’t move. It’s good, warm tingles rolling up your spine and down the length of your horns, and your will to struggle is gone, because that’s good and you hate him, but in a way that makes you want to kiss him. Maybe throw him around while you do, but kiss him. You’re pushing up against his hands and he’s trailing the claws of his other hand over one of your wings and it’s so fucking good, you’re gonna pass out. How did he--

Grand. That bastard. He told. You’re going to slap him. Maybe. You can feel yourself starting to purr when Clorad stands up again. He pulls you up and loops your arm around his waist, chirping at you to lean on him with his usual bubbly tone, and his claws return to the center of your back and you don’t really have any complaints. He’s cool and soft and he smells nice under your cheek, on his shoulder. You’ll be embarrassed later. This is pitchflirting too, you’re in control. You want to blow him because his claws feel really fucking good.

He just about drags you inside, to one of the branching halls leading to the office wing, where Grand is probably working, since you sure as shit didn’t call him, and Clorad usually just shows up when he wants attention. It takes a second, but you shove Clorad against the wall to make his back thud, and then the punch you planned on lands flat against the wall next to his head. He bunches a hand in your shirt and drags you up to his face, his teeth all bared and his skin flashing pink in warning patterns and his fins flared out.

You ignore the little twist of something in your gut and kiss him. His other hand wraps around the back of your neck, tangles into your hair, and his teeth dig into your bottom lip as he kisses you right back. He growls in that low rolling way seadwellers do and it makes you feel a little inadequate that you can’t rumble through a swimbladder like he can. His hand moves to one of your horns to hold instead, and you flatten your wings against your back while he leads you back against the other wall.

“I’m gonna pick you up.” He murmurs, his hands moving down to grip your ass, and you only get a breath before he lifts you, easy as that. You wrap your legs around his hips and yank his hair out of the bun, because it’s long and soft and great for grabbing at. He kind of half-moans when you pull it harder, tangling it in your fist, and you store that bit of information somewhere you can use it later. “Stop pulling.”

You pull again, hard, and his head falls back. His gills flutter when he croons. “Make me.” You keep your hold firm and bite his throat, not even hard enough to bruise, just to make a point. Your pusher thuds in your chest; you don’t do this. Not usually. You don’t rush into things. His claws dig into your hornbed and you’re dizzy with the blood rushing to your nook. “Almost good enough.”

His fins twitch when you let his head up and you kiss him, hard, almost enough to draw blood. Not quite, though. You’ll save that for when you’ve got him in bed. Your pan buzzes while he presses you harder against the wall. Your wings are pressed almost painfully behind you, and his fingers dig into your thighs to adjust your legs. You press the heel of your foot against his lower back until he squirms, and take that chance to bite his fin. Again, not very hard, more to see what it feels like and, more importantly, how he reacts to it.

It twitches, a little, and you press your teeth to the pink membrane between the tines and he yelps, shoving at your chest and jumping back at the same time, which lands you on your knees. You were trying to land on your feet, but you don’t have as much time as when Grand shoves you.

“Don’t do that.” His tone is severe, eyes all wide and panicky. “Don’t do that again.”

You get to your feet and nod, wiping a hand over your mouth to see if your lips are bleeding. Not yet. “Okay. Does it hurt?” You don’t move towards him again, because he’s isn’t moving yet, but he takes a slow breath and stands upright, and you step over. He slaps your hand when you reach for the fin you bit, but you kind of expected that.

“Just don’t do it again. Please.” Clorad’s resting face looks like a pout. You grab the back of his neck and kiss him again, fluttering your wings to lift yourself and wrap your legs around his middle. His claws drag over the space between your wings and you shudder, going almost so lax that he has to hold you up. “Is this good?”

You roll your head forward and your horn kinda clotheslines him across the neck, but not hard. His gills flutter again, and you kiss the space between them, because fish anatomy is so weird and you just want to see what he’ll do. He leans his cheek on your head, but doesn’t complain, so you store that for another time. Grand’s said he’s a cuddly guy, you’re sure he would be down for some hatecuddles later on.

“It’s good.” You bite his jaw. “Makes me kind of fall asleep, though.” Your wings flutter uselessly and you have to bite him to muffle the complaining noise you make when he stops. “Maybe later. Kiss me again.”

He tangles a hand in your hair, and the hand between your wings moves back to grabbing your ass, which is better, since you don’t want to pass out just yet. He digs his teeth into your bottom lip and leans back against the wall, which you appreciate, since it would feel stupid to bounce between the walls. And your wings are kind of sore, if you’re honest, so this is all good. You pull yourself up with a grip on his shoulders and his hands both move to support your ass.

Or, it seems, mostly to grope. Whatever. You pull at his hair some more, dragging his head slowly back to stretch out his pretty, freckled throat. He growls, gritting his teeth to try and look threatening, but doesn’t fight against your hold. Clorad makes a little mewling noise when you bite his collarbone, and you sink your teeth into his skin harder, enough that he might bruise.

You wouldn’t lie and say that leaving a mark Grand will see isn’t part of it, but he flushes pink, and once you pull away from that bite, his skin is like pink marble in a semicircle of teeth impressions. Dragging your tongue over the bite makes him huff out a sharp breath, sounding just a little needy, and you find yourself mentally mapping out the compound to find an empty room. Cautiously, you drag your tongue over one of his gillslits, because you just. You want to know what parts of his seadweller anatomy you’re allowed to touch.

Clorad giggles, pulling at your horn just enough to pull you back. “That tickles, stop it. I don’t do gillplay. You can touch my fins, just, don’t bite.” He twirls a finger in your hair, smiling now that you’ve stopped pulling his head back. “Nibbling is fine, though. I just don’t want any piercings.” He flutters his fins and you stroke a claw over one of them, because they are pretty.

“I won’t break the skin.” You squeeze him around the waist with your thighs, pulling yourself up to nibble at one of his fins. He shivers a little, his fingers twitch, and you take that as a good thing. “No piercings for your fins, even if they’d be cute.”

He flushes pink on his round cheeks and you kiss him again, running one hand up into his hair, at the base of his neck. His hair is soft, and loosely curled, not like Grand’s tight nest of hair that can store things. It smells good, and you can imagine pressing your face into it if you got the chance, or the soft give of his waist. Or his thighs. He’s soft and cool in general, and you wonder if you can use him like a pillow at some point.

You drag his bottom lip out between your teeth and he sighs, leaning his head to the side while you trail back over to his fin, which flicks against your face with a thwap that makes you snort and him giggle again. “You like my fins, huh? I thought you hated fish.” Your face gets hot at that, and you nip a little harder for it.

“Don’t think you’re special, I can’t stand you either.” He giggles more, letting his head fall back to rest on the wall. “I’ve never really dated a fish, though. I have to get used to what I can do with your fins and gills. Porn doesn’t tell the truth, you know.”

He snorts, his delicate giggle breaking into hearty laughter that you feel come from his chest. “Oh, gods. I know. I’ve seen so much gill-fucking porn. That would be like if seadwellers wanted to fuck landdwellers in the nose, it’s so dumb. I don’t like my gills being touched a lot. It just makes me cough.” He slides his hand under the edge of your shirt, and you jump when his claws drag over your lowest grubscar. “These okay to touch?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Do you have grubscars?” You don’t grab his side, but you think about it. “With the gills too?”

Clorad nods. “They’re just smaller, yeah. Can we finish the anatomy lesson later?” His tone is playful again, now that you’ve gotten the fin issue squared off.

You yank his hair a little, because there’s a lot of it and it’s good to grab, and he spins to pin you against the wall instead. That’s fine, you lift your chin when he pulls back from your mouth to bite your throat; he’s not nearly as shy about leaving hickeys you won’t be able to cover with anything other than a scarf as you had thought he might be. Maybe that’s only so Grand doesn’t have to change his style to keep from getting embarrassed, though. You’re also his kismesis, kinda, so you guess that relates to it.

His hips pin against yours and you ignore the fact that there’s definitely a closet a few yards down the hall, because you don’t want to rush, even if you definitely want to see him naked. You’re not going to rush with this, even if you kind of really want to. You don’t at all roll your hips against his, not in the slightest, though he presses right back and you moan into his mouth a little. You don’t shove your hand under his shirt and find one of his grubscars, planted further up on his torso than yours, but about the same size as your own.

Clorad sighs, nibbling at your bottom lip and pressing one of your horns back against the wall to hold your head. You squirm against his hold while he bites your jaw, purring softly, and you try not to grind against him so much as just fight against his hold for fun. He’s so cold, it’s weird, and you wonder if he enjoys your relative heat as much as you like his cold. His hand slides up to the base of your horn, less holding you still and more just holding, his claw dragging over the chitin where it’s fresh and more sensitive.

You run your thumb over the base of his horn, up to where the thin spikes make it harder to follow any kind of path, and he hums a little pleased noise. “I’m gonna fall asleep if you do that. You’re too warm.” He giggles, lifting his head to shake off your hand. “Maybe when we’re not in my mate’s halls. You should come over sometime.” He strokes a hand down your side and gropes your ass, giggling more. “I’ll tell my guards not to shoot you out of the sky.”

“Are you gonna make dinner, Emperor?” You ask, fluttering your eyelashes. “Wine and dine me?”

He rolls his eyes. “I was thinking about it. Dinner dates not your thing? Are you more of a physical kind of guy?” He presses you against the wall again and waggles his eyebrows, and gods.

You hate this guy. “We’ll see. I’m just not a schedule sort of guy. I’ll come over when I come over.” You tug his hair a little, smiling at the way his fins perk up from it. “That gonna be a problem?”

“Only if you come over while I’m not hive. I won’t give you my schedule if you don’t even have one.” He leans away from your hand in his hair and kisses you, and your grip goes loose while you focus on that instead of making him flush and shiver.

It’s more biting than anything, and between his teeth being so sharp and him growling in his chest making you kiss him harder, you taste your own blood in your mouth not too long after. He chuckles a little without quite pulling away, and you bite him back, until you taste cold blood on your tongue, and he snarls in that fishy way he does that rumbles through his chest. You dig your claws into his side and his scalp and growl right back, rolling against him while his pupils blow wide and his skin flushes a new pattern in pink.

You never thought you’d be the kind of troll into the whole angry fish thing, but here you are, encouraging it because it makes your pusher speed up to see it. He snarls low in his throat when you drag his head back and bite the underside of his jaw and you feel heat prickling under your skin. You can feel him growl, in his chest and throat, and it makes your ears flick back submissively, but he isn’t paying attention, thankfully. His shirt rides up while you grope at his chest more than his grubscars, and you pull yourself up some more to kiss him while you pull at his hair.

From the end of the hall, there’s a soft gasp, followed by a door closing, and you both whip your heads around. Your horn smacks into the back of Clorad’s head and he drops you, and you both stare at Grand like wrigglers caught with their hands in the cookie jar. None of you even move for a full five seconds, and then Clorad pulls his shirt down properly, and clears his throat.

“Hi, my love.” He smiles shyly up at Grand’s sort of shocked face. “Uh, I was. We were. Talking. And stuff. Sorry, I was actually planning on seeing you, but I ran into him,” You stand and lean on the wall as nonchalantly as you can. “And we got to talking. And since I talked to you about it, uh.” He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, and you take a second to appreciate that his face is hot pink.

And that Grand’s neck is bright purple. You’re like, the ultimate pitchmate.

“We good?” You ask, looking up to meet Grand’s eyes when they finish looking at Clorad’s disheveled clothes and swollen lips, and feel them sweep over you; the bite on your throat stings with him looking at you, but you don’t show it. “We can go somewhere else if we’re in the way.”

He shakes his head, and straightens up a little. When you talked with him about it, he was pretty excited about it, and you can see it on his face even through his whole “totally cool” look he puts on to try and cover it up. You’ve known him long enough to tell that he probably would have watched you guys for a while if he hadn’t surprised you both into stopping what you were doing.

Clorad pulls the collar of his shirt up a little to try and cover the purple-pink bruise on his collarbone, though you think Grand has seen it already by the way he's staring. Grand seems to remember that he’s in his own clown compound and not, say, in your hive for something. Or Clorad’s fucking palace. What kind of tool needs a palace, honestly.

Someone behind him coughs, and you all press against the walls to let them pass, and then Clorad is nervously adjusting his clothes. “I should, uh, we should?” You nod when he looks at you for confirmation. “Go. I think.Get out of the way. Foot traffic.” His fins twitch and you see Grand watch them out of the corner of your eye while you watch them too.

Grand nods, clears his throat a little, and walks over to him. You don’t say anything when Clorad kisses him, but you slap him on the back and raise your eyebrows at the both of them. “What did you say about dinner? You still cooking?” You fix your hair a little, at least so it’s off your face, and try to look casual. “We can, you know, talk. About this stuff.”

This is weird. You’re not against it, but it’s weird. There’s no denying the weirdness of it, though it isn’t a bad weird. You’ve never done this, two pitchmates at once, and Clorad’s never really had a pitchmate, and Grand is. Well, happy about the idea of it at least, and from the way he’s smiling, interested in dinner too. You don’t exactly want to sit between two highbloods who hate you, or almost hate you, and eat what you have to assume will be some kind of cake thing because fish don’t eat real food for some fucking reason, but you want to make sure this whole thing is fine.

You and Clorad, and you and Grand, Clorad and Grand. All three of you in a chain of assholes. This is weird, but it’s fine. It’ll be fine. Because Clorad and Grand are hammering out the time together, and Grand is fixing Clorad’s hair where it’s wrapped around his horns a little, and it feels weird but it’s nice to see them interact like that. You confirm that you don’t have any allergies, and jab Clorad in the chest a little while you ask if he has any allergies, and Grand’s eyes light up a little bit.

Voyeur.

“Excuse me for wanting to be considerate, ass.” He shoves your shoulder just enough to make you stumble. “Go hive and take a shower, so the guards don’t think you’re just some weird oversized fairybull lusus stumbling into my garden. And because I can smell you from here.”

Grand barely suppresses a grin. Oh, he is loving this. That asshole. You jab him in the ribs and he slaps your arm, his face going sour. “You’re standing right next to me, fin-cess. And that’s the smell of an outdoorsman.” You flex, a little.

“An outdoorsman who didn’t bathe for a month. Shower. Wear something nice. Get there early so we can talk before dinner.” Clorad says, like it’s nothing to come back at you like that. Asshole. “And I’ll make some tea. Humor me, I feel like I should take you on a date for us to, like, date.”

You huff, but he and Grand both look all excited about it. And you like dinner. Even like, cakes and shit, so it isn’t that you don’t want to, but you can tease him about it. “If I come in and see you two making out, I’m leaving.” You point at one, then the other, and make your best mean face.

“Hypocritical.” Grand mutters.

“Hey! Making out in a hallway isn’t the same as just watching. Like you.” Your face feels hot, and you’re fluttering to hover a few inches off the floor until Clorad leans his arm on your shoulder. “I’ll be there for dinner. Don’t make it weird, though.”

Clorad rolls his eyes. “It’s already weird. It’s been weird. You’re making it weird acting like it isn’t weird, Summoner. There’s no making it not weird, so just accept it and stop acting like you don’t want to see two hot coldbloods ignore you.” Your face feels hotter and you almost want to smack him for that. Or kiss him. Terrible.

“Whatever. Should I also bring you a present, or just bow and scrape as soon as I walk in?” You half-bow right there, and Clorad yanks you up by the back of your shirt, baring his teeth more than smiling as he tosses you back against the wall. “What, are you more into the ‘kneel and beg’ thing, emperor?”

Clorad’s teeth show more and his fins flare out, flushed angry pink, but his tone is smooth when he speaks. “Keep that up and I’ll expect it from you. Maybe I can dress up all royal for it. Tie your hands back and see what you can do like that.” He’s in your personal space, looking down at you and stepping up to make you press against the wall, and you hope that he can’t smell you get wet over whatever smell he thinks you have. “I could lead you around by your horns for your attitude.”

Grand is grinning now, looking like a wriggler about to get a treat. You shove Clorad back and straighten out, scoffing. “Right. I’ll be there for dinner, keep your creepy royalty kink under control. Both of you.” Now Grand looks scandalized, but Clorad doesn’t deny it. You’ll remember that for both of them; Grand’s probably thought about a shitblood prince to serve.

Could be fun. This whole thing seems like it could be, so far. You’ll go to dinner, schmooze with them both, set some boundaries, and try not to rile them both up, because seeing them riled up would make it hard to pay attention, because they are hot. Sue you. You flip them both the bird as you walk out, and fly away before either of them can get it in their heads to try and knock you out of the sky.

You’ll shower, and dress in something nice, and be there when he wants you there. And you’ll bring some kind of present, maybe. Clorad seems like he would like presents. Maybe you can get along with both of them at one time. You can talk it out, if nothing else, and make sure you’re all three set for whatever you end up doing.

--

At dinner, you think you’re in Clorad’s shirt. It’s a roast, and it’s really good. Grand is in a pink robe obviously too small for him, and not looking at either of you while he eats, and Clorad is sitting shirtless while he eats his own dinner, seeming not to care about the bites on his chest or the way that he ended up shirtless.

“So are we okay? All of us?” He asks, finally, and takes a sip of his drink. His lipstick is smeared. “I mean, that’s uh, that was clearer than just a talk, right?”

--

((ah! another commission for this asshole! if you had fun reading this, maybe buy me a coffee? if you want me to write your fantrolls and illegal ships for them, commission me!))

[bwicblog]

RS: | Is Anyone Here not Enthralled by the Battle Talk | ? |

ID: yo.

RS: | Because | Heavens | I know I'm Not |

RS: | How Did That Even Start | ? | =:1 |

ID: i hit things until they stop moving, don't need to talk about it. =:I

ID: nerds. that's how.

VA: I Think iT sTemmed frŏm Talk abŏuT The upcŏming fair

RS: | Yes | Haha | That's about All You Need to Do | Isn't It | ? | RS: | Or Hit Them Hard Enough You can Abscond |

ID: i mean. i always hit them until they stop moving but absconding works for you so rock it.

ID: don't need to read about armies to figure out how to cull a troll. =:/

VA: Survival is The mŏsT impŏrTanT parT anyway

RS: | Haha | Well | I don't Always Abscond | RS: | Just | Mostly | It's a Little Pointless to Actually Fight People |

RS: | Never Mind | Cull Them |

ID: hey you take that back. =:P

RS: | Haha | Me | or VA | ? |

RS: | Survival is Important | ! | =:B |

ID: well i meant you but i guess i can fight survival too.

VA: I dunnŏ, survival is preTTy alrighT

LL: That's what I keep SAYING, tbh! LL: Like, everyone's on about fighting with STICKS and I don't GET why you don't just go and pick up a GUN.

VA: WaiT why are yŏu here

VA: Yŏu're Teal

LL: Insider secrets??

ID: fucking hell we're under attack.

LL: Also I'm moirails with ID.

ID: ...other id.

LL: The REAL one, not the dude that won't fight with a gun.

VA: ŏh, ThaT's beTTer Than The answer I was expecTing

ID: i have psi, i am the gun!

LL: IDK, I was just CURIOUS.

LL: Oh, shit.

LL: See, that actually makes SENSE!

VA: I dŏ jusT fine wiThŏuT ŏne

LL: Yeah, I was just CURIOUS about why there's a LOWBLOOD channel. LL: I can only see it like HALF the time anyways, I think the OTHER mod keeps kicking me.

LL: Yeah, but, like do you FIGHT people with guns?

LL: Bc if so: BADASS, tbh.

RS: | I have Contemplated Firearms on Occasion |

VA: I mean, I have

RS: | They're very Efficient |

LL: ^^^^

RS: | | Also | Dramatic | Haha |

ID: i fight everyone.

ID: but when you're reaching for your gun you're fucked!

RS: | You can Do All Sorts of Tricks with Them | ! | More Glamorously than With Psi | Hadean | =:P |

VA: BuT I have mŏre use fŏr a differenT kind ŏf weapŏn

ID: i can do anything with my psi that you can do with a gun. =:P

LL: How's that different from reaching for a SWORD?

RS: | Well | Yes | RS: | But When You are Using Your Psionics | There's Always a Bit of a Pause | Isn't It | ? |

ID: depends?

RS: | Can You Spin It Sixty Times in a Minute | ? |

ID: ...depends?

RS: | Er | That is to Say | You Said You can Copy Any Trick with a Gun | With Your Psionics | RS: | And I Sincerely Doubt You can Spin Your Psionics | =:P |

ID: jokes on you. =:P

LL: Psi's pretty COOL, tbh. My ID's got some sick pink psionics going on, they look pretty EPIC. LL: But I'm pretty sure I could get any psion with a BULLET in the PAN before they could crush me with their SPONGES or whatever it is they do.

LL: And, LOL

LL: RS has a POINT!

ID: is that id just. the telekinetic kind? stock psi model?

LL: Are there different KINDS?

VA: LŏTs

ID: ahahah.

LL: Oh, shit. I thought it was just, like LL: COLORS

ID: you innocent teal child.

ID: fuck no!

ID: i can't lift shit with my mind!

VA: I knŏw a guy whŏ can breaThe fire

LL: I mean, I know CERULEANS got weird shit, and CLOWNS have emotion stuff.

RS: | Your ID has pink psionics | ? |

LL: Whaaaat

TC: Fuck clow~s

LL: And I GUESS, RS. They're not, like, PINK pink.

LL: More like magenta?

LL: Does that MEAN something??

VA: Dŏes iT?

ID: fuck if i know. mine are usually just plain ol dark maroon.

RS: | Hahaha | It Means He has a Great Deal of Misfortune | in Both His Naming | and His Colours | =:B |

LL: What's THAT mean?

RS: | The Colours don't Mean Anything | RS: | Mine are White | ! |

LL: Why's that mean he's UNLUCKY, though?

VA: Iunnŏ, because magenTa is a high-visibiliTy cŏlŏr?

LL: Huh! LL: That's TRUE.

LL: ... He, like, works in an OFFICE, though. LL: I'm p sure it doesn't really MATTER.

RS: | Oh | RS: | I knew a Troll | named ID | with Similar Coloured Psionics | RS: | And | He's Dead | That's All | ! | RS: | It's an Unfortunate Coincidence | =:B |

RS: | That's All |

LL: Oh, SHIT.

LL: Man, that's bad VIBES.

RS: | Isn't It | ? | RS: | Yours Sounds More Reputable | Though | ! | Offices are Nice | RS: | Hardly any Culling There |

LL: Besides, ID's just his HANDLE, not his NAME.

TC: Awkward

ID: boringgg.

VA: ThaT is an unfŏrTunaTe cŏincidence

LL: Dude, fake ID, if YOU had pink psi you'd be freaking, don't even FRONT.

ID: offices btw, not culling of friends.

LL: Oh, mb.

RS: | Hahaha | Not a Friend | Thankfully | RS: | And | Yes | But | On Less Superstitious Topics | RS: | | VA |

RS: | and | TC |

TC: What

RS: | What Colour are Your Psionics | ? |

RS: | Since ID and I | have Already Shared | ! |

ID: va is a flatscan.

TC: They do~'t have a color.

VA: I dŏn'T have any

RS: | We are Educating LL | So | RS: | | Oh |

TC: ! just touch th!~gs

RS: | I'm Sorry to Hear That | ! |

TC: A~d the~ they just - do the th!~g

RS: | Oh | The Thing | ? |

ID: ps pheres most flatscans don't like to be told i'm sorry about them being flatscans.

VA: Eh, iT happens

VA: IT wŏulda made wŏrk easier, buT I wasn'T sŏ lucky

LL: Dude, I don't have psi, and it's no big DEAL.

RS: | Oh | ! | Well | Ah |

LL: Besides, don't you, like WRECK with WEAPONS like you were on about?

RS: | I Apologise | VA | RS: | Even if You Don't Mind |

ID: ahahah you're teal.

LL: I still think my guns're LOADS better.

ID: of course it's not a fucking big deal.

TC: ! speed the decay t!me of objects, RS

VA: IT's differenT fŏr lŏwblŏŏds T'nŏT have psii

ID: eww tc.

LL: How's it DIFFERENT?

RS: | If It Helps | My Psionics are Hardly Worth Having | Haha | RS: | They're Barely There | Really | ! | I Spark a Little More than LL | Maybe | =:) |

TC: Shut up !D

ID: man when did it turn in to psionic share hour.

ID: because it is ll. you have value in society other than being a psi.

VA: Because sŏ many ŏf us Dŏ have psii, ThaT Thŏse whŏ dŏn'T are kinda unusual

RS: | When You Failed to Give a More Engaging Topic | RS: | Than the Murder Hour Happening in the Main Lobby |

LL: IDK, I think it's pretty COOL. LL: I didn't even know you could DO shit like mess with TIME.

RS: | =:P |

LL: That's HELLA trippy.

AC: .u. it happens

AC: some psiionics are very strange

LL: Oh, shit, it's the sorry guy.

LL: Hey, what's UP?

RS: | ? | ? | ? |

ID: okay, better subject than psi!

ID: is every loser here going to the fair?

VA: Aye

ID: no nerd history talk allowed in your answer.

AC: Ø .u. the nice weather, there are some very pretty clouds overhead. Ø

LL: NAH, but only to the LOSER part.

TC: !'m go!~g to k!ck AH's ass

AC: Ø I keep trying to find lusus shapes in them Ø

LL: Is EVERYONE gonna go fight?

TC: Yes

VA: I'm gŏnna sell weapŏns and armŏr

LL: And shit, u rite, AC

LL: u rite

ID: wait which one is ah.

AC: Ø I'm going with Pheres Ø

TC: The blue o~e

AC: Ø To help him sell stuff! Ø

ID: oh gliese.

LL: Oh, the one that's got a halberd up her WASTECHUTE.

ID: don't fight gliese gliese is my cheerleader.

LL: Dude, TOTALLY fight her.

ID: i need her waving pompoms for me and shit.

VA: FighT her

ID: ye olde medieval cheerleader.

LL: What if I wave the pompoms?

AC: Ø .n. gosh, everyone always mentions Gliese but I've never met her Ø

TC: !'m go!~g to punch them !~ the gut t!l they vom!t l!ke RR d!d earl!er

AC: Ø maybe that's a good thing though? Most people don't seem to like her. Ø

ID: you don't even know the routine ll.

LL: I can make a BETTER one, DUH.

RS: | Haha | AC | Be Glad |

ID: tc no fighting gliese.

RS: | Was She Dreadful to You | LL | ? |

LL: And idk, AC, I kinda LIKED her until she started being SHITTY for, like, NO REASON!

TC: Shut up !D

AC: Ø Oh, that's too bad .n. Ø

AC: Ø I hope she wasn't too awful Ø

LL: Like I ASKED what her issue was and she wouldn't even SAY.

AC: Ø .n. Ø

ID: seriously. no fighting gliese.

VA: She's jusT anŏTher blueblŏŏd

LL: It's, like, if you're gonna be WEIRD, at least OWN it.

RS: | Oh | That's Unfortunate | I'm Sorry |

TC: St!ll go!~g to f!ght her

RS: | | Hadean | Ah | Are You especially Fond of Her | ? | RS: | I wasn't Aware |

LL: It's NBD but I'm TOTALLY cheering for TC.

ID: i said no fighting gliese. got a problem with it, take it up with me at the fair. and i will dissuade you.

AC: Ø .n. Ø

ID: she fed me.

AC: Ø Um Ø

ID: that buys my loyalty for like. a perigee.

LL: Dude, I will buy you a food TRUCK.

TC: !'ll f!ght you too

VA: Have sŏme mŏre pride

AC: Ø Who's everyone friendly with though? Ø

ID: come at me tc. make sure you can't rot shit ever again.

RS: | Heavens | Am I Expected to Feed You at the Fair | ? | RS: | Because | If So | RS: | I suppose You should Tell Me Your Coffee Preferences |

VA: I dŏn'T mind mŏsT ŏf Th'lŏwblŏŏds I've meT

AC: Ø .u. Pheres makes good coffee Ø

LL: I'm friendly with YOU, I think. >:D And ID, obvi. My ID, I mean. LL: IDK. LL: I guess I'm here to make FRIENDS.

ID: i don't drink coffee.

RS: | Why Not | ? |

ID: does nothing for me.

TC: Fuck!~g come at me

LL: Mine all up and SPLIT or DIED, so I don't, like, KNOW anyone anymore.

AC: Ø .n. that's really sad Ø

RS: | Oh | That's Unfortunate |

ID: i'm telling you to come at me tc.

AC: Ø I really hope you make lots of new friends!! You seem really energetic and fun. Ø

ID: you wanna fight gliese, you fight me first.

RS: | Come to the Fair | and Visit with Maidel and I | RS: | And Hadean | RS: | I am Sure We Can Direct You towards People You are Suited For |

TC: K

RS: | Assuming Hadean is Not Busy Fighting | the Entirety of the Fair |

LL: THANKS, I think!

ID: glad we got that settled!

AC: Ø Yes! Come visit our booth. ^w^ Ø

RS: | Aren't You Saving Yourself for Emerel's Fight | Hadean | ? | Haha |

LL: And HELL yeah. I'll bring you a SWORD and shit, even. LL: Since you all are into that shit.

MN: ;)

AC: Ø .n. you think? I really meant to be nice. Ø

TC: !'ll take a sword

RS: | Oh | ! | Yes | Please Do |

ID: i mean like i need my all to fight punching bag.

RS: | Come Buy a Sword | TC | I sell Hundreds | =:B |

LL: Dude, I only got ONE sword, sorry.

MN: you should dEfinitEly buy a sword from .PHERES.

RS: | | Not Hundreds | I think I Only Have Thirty on Hand Right Now | Actually |

ID: got plenty in reserves to fight tc!

VA: I'll meeT y'all fŏr a drink if y'wanT

LL: 31, now!

ID: and ll if she really wants to fight gliese.

VA: RS are yŏu a blacksmiTh?

LL: Hell no, I ain't fighting anyone unless they take a swing FIRST.

LL: Then I shoot 'em in the HEAD.

RS: | Haha | No | I am Not | ! | RS: | I am |

RS:

MN: whoa whoa whos fighting .GLIESE.

RS: | Um |

ID: great. noted ll.

TC: !'m mak!~g a 'Let's f!ght AH' Group, who wa~ts !~

ID: no one is fighting gliese.

ID: unless they fight me first.

MN: sorry but .I.m obligatEd to bE on .GLIESES. sidE for this onE so

TC: !'ll host the meet!~gs to pla~ !t

RS: | Emerel |

RS: | Really | ? | Haha |

MN: wEll who ElsE will watch star wars with .ME.

ID: yeah he and gliese are star wars nerd buddies too.

AC: Ø .u. those are fun movies Ø

AC: Ø I prefer the books though Ø

AC: Ø So much extra cool stuff! Ø

MN: .I. dont haVE timE for thE books usually

AC: Ø That's fair! I mean, some of them aren't very well written. .u. Ø

LL: What's STAR WARS?

AC: Ø Oh! It's about trolls rebelling against a fake, usurping Empire. .u. Ø

AC: Ø And restoring peace to the rightful one. Ø

RS: | Haha | Well | I Suppose I can't Object to Movies |

LL: Is it, like, all POLITICAL, or is it the COOL kinda rebellion?

AC: Ø It's kind of cheesy, but it's fun Ø

MN: rEally though MN: whosE thE rEal monstEr hErE whEn you brEak it down

RS: | Star Wars is a Film with Fantastic Fashion |

AC: Ø It's super cool! They blow stuff up and there's aliens and it's fun. Ø

RS: | That is What It Is |

MN: hEy .PHERES. wanna cosplay as stormtroopErs

AC: Ø And some of them have really cool weapons and psiionics! Ø

MN: complEtE with aiming skills

LL: I'm there for the blowing up and the ALIENS

LL: FASHION'S alright, I GUESS, but that's, like, not MY thing.

AC: Ø There's lots of aliens. .u. I'm kind of surprised the Empire let a film be made with so many alien characters! Ø

AC: Ø But I'm glad they did, a lot of the aliens are really weird and interesting looking. Ø

ID: i mean i wear a t-shirt and jeans every day of my life so. what's fashion.

RS: | Unfortunately | I am Matching with Maidel | =:( |

MN: it was a timE pEriod whEn wE wErE still ExpErimEnting with moViE ElEmEnts

RS: | But You are Free to Join Us | ! |

ID: except when i'm pheres' booth babe, then i'm wearing. white?

MN: .I.m not wEaring thE dElivEry uniform

RS: | | And | Ah | Hadean | RS: | Don't Forget | I am Dressing You as Well | So | That will Give You Practically a Written Definition of It | ! |

RS: | It Being Fashion |

RS: | Not White |

RS: | | I could Put You in White | Though |

LL: Are you watching at the FAIRE?

ID: i'm fine with not white. =:I

MN: .I. stand by my statEmEnt that whitE sucks

AC: Ø .n. but Pheres looks nice in white Ø

RS: | Hmm | How Pale are You | ? |

LL: White's good if it's the kind that GLOWS at a RAVE.

VA: WhiTe is beTTer fŏr hŏT climaTes

ID: i got plenty of tats. are tattoos fashion.

MN: oh .I. didnt say hE doEsnt look nicE in whitE bEcausE hE doEs

MN: its just a shitty color

LL: Tats are DEF fashion

AC: Ø .u. oh okay - pfff Ø

RS: | White is a Perfectly Good Colour | Emerel | RS: | The Best Colour | Really |

AC: Ø Emerel you're goofy Ø

MN: no it isnt stop that

RS: | But | Thank You for the Compliment | Both of You | =:P |

ID: well pheres i'm partially tattooed.

LL: I'm like 70% sure it's not actually a REAL COLOR.

MN: hE startEd it maidEl MN: with his whitE shirts

ID: so i'm partially always pale.

LL: Like BLACK and WHITE aren't colors, right?

MN: that stick out in thE dark

AC: Ø I guess he did, that's true u.u Ø

RS: | Marvelous | I will Have to Find Something to Show Those Off | Then |

ID: i mean i have them on my chest and back and arms.

AC: Ø Pheres, you started it all, I guess Emerel has a point there. How dare you wear nice shirts. Ø

VA: WaiT, dŏ yŏu have whiTe TaTTŏŏs ID?

MN: wEll that sEttlEs it MN: hadEan is going into this shirtlEss now

ID: well they're not stark white.

RS: | Heavens | ! | RS: | Well | Emerel | Am I at Least Allowed to Wear Terrible Shirts | or | Do I have to Eschew all Shirts | to Meet Your Standards | ? | =:) |

VA: ThaT's a cŏŏl idea. ShiT my nexT ŏne may have Tŏ be whiTe nŏw

MN: wEEEEEll

MN: .I. could answEr that but wErE in public ;)

LL: I think we're making it WEIRD again.

RS: | Hahaha | Not at All | RS: | Why would You Think That | ? |

ID: warning whtie fades like a motherfuck.

ID: you need to get them redone a lot.

RS: | Oh | Hm |

LL: Because MN totally just was like "Bluh bluh my answer is NSFW, bluh," dude.

RS: | Maybe You would be Well-Suited to Gray | Then | ! |

RS: | | I Mean | RS: | You could Interpret It That Way | RS: | If You are Weird |

AC: Ø .u. I like the shirt Pheres had designed for my uniform Ø

VA: I dŏn'T mind

AC: Ø It's very nice Ø

RS: | But I am Not | RS: | And Subsequently Did Not |

AC: Ø I like the red Ø

LL: There was a WINKY FACE!

RS: | Perhaps He Has Something In His Eye |

MN: ;)))

LL: Oh my god, I hate ALL OF YOU. D:

ID: i know a good guy va. if you can stand fish.

AC: Ø .n. I tried, LL Ø

ID: and him wanting you to smoke questionable herbs with him.

MN: wEll you arE thE onE in .OUR. chat so

LL: AC is my bro and the rest of you SUCK.

AC: Ø nooo, they don't suck Ø

MN: nobodys making you stay ll

AC: Ø they just um Ø

VA: I can fŏr The sake ŏf a gŏŏd TaTTŏŏ VA: My currenT guy is greaT, buT he's Teal

AC: Ø are affectionate Ø

AC: Ø they're very nice .u. Ø

RS: | Oh | Don't Run Them Off | Emerel | RS: | I Like Them | They are Endearing |

LL: And hell no, I'm not going to the chat with AH. LL: She wants my BLOOD.

ID: my guy is great, but he does uh. the thing where they do all the pokes with a hand needle. not a gun.

ID: so it takes for fucking ever.

AC: Ø ...I think she said she left? Looking at her last message. Ø

RS: | My Apologies for Causing You Discomfort | LL | ! |

VA: My arm was dŏne ThaT way

VA: Yeah, Takes a lifeTime and a half

RS: | We will Contain Our Japery | in Light of That | =:B |

LL: I mean. LL: There's nobody in that chat ANYWAYS, and I'm trying to hang out with PEOPLE.

MN: .I.m not MN: just pointing out that thEyrE not actually supposEd to bE in this chat tEchnically MN: so if wErE wEirding thEm out thats thEir fault not ours

AC: Ø beep boop I am secretly a robot. .u. Ø

AC: Ø boop boop whirr Ø

ID: looks good as fuck though!

LL: :\

ID: and i find it helps keep them looking nice longer. could just be my opinion though.

VA: Yeah, my arm was dŏne by an ŏrangeblŏŏd guy in a remŏTe area

MN: maidEl why are you a robot

AC: Ø .n. but I like LL, Emerel Ø

VA: Super greaT guy, I hŏpe he's sTill alive

AC: Ø oh I was just um Ø

LL: I USED to have a tat, but I had to get it get RID of.

AC: Ø I was making a joke, LL said they wanted to talk to people Ø

LL: Omfg

MN: thEn MN: likE ll MN: .I. wasnt tElling you not to maidEl

AC: Ø so I was being not a person a.k.a a robot Ø

RS: | Well | I Mean | They're Teal | RS: | I think They are Technically Allowed to Be Wherever They Want | ? |

ID: well that sucks ll. why?

LL: I TOTALLY didn't get that. LL: RIP, AC can't be my bro anymore. D:<

AC: Ø oh, I just - hahah .u. Ø

LL: JK, dude, don't even FLIP.

AC: Ø discriminatiooon Ø

AC: Ø no, I know you're joking .u. Ø

LL: And damn STRAIGHT I can be where I want! LL: Mostly cos I've got INSIDER CONNECTIONS, though.

ID: and it sucks when an artist dies on you va.

RS: | Robots Deserve the Disease of Friendship | Too | LL | =:B |

LL: And I had to get rid of the tat cos it's a huge, like, ID thing.

AC: Ø I know I'm bad at jokes sometimes but I got that one .u. Ø

LL: My line of work gets you on people's SHITLIST, you dig?

VA: ŏhh I see

ID: hahah. did you get your horns shaved down too?

LL: Yeah!

VA: ThaT's ŏdd fŏr a highblŏŏd

AC: Ø .n. did it hurt? Ø

ID: smart if you want to not be recognized.

VA: ŏr waiT, is iT nŏT ŏdd where yŏu live?

LL: Like a grubfucker!

AC: Ø whoa Ø

VA: Really?????

LL: And it's not THAT odd. I'm not the ONLY one I know, leastways!

AC: Ø you must be really tough! Ø

LL: HELL yeah! >:D

VA: Are yŏu dŏing iT righT?

ID: like. horns and sign and bloodcolor are your biggest identifiers!

LL: I mean, YEAH, but, dude, I had a LOTTA horn to knock off.

AC: Ø dang Ø

ID: so if you want to be sneaky you gotta get that shit taken care of.

VA: My rail shaves his and dŏesn'T geT pain VA: Unless iT jusT sTŏps hurTing afTer a while

LL: ^^^^^

LL: It don't hurt to, like shave 'em down a BIT on the regular, nowanights!

ID: i wonder what would happen if i shaved my floating horn.

ID: huh.

VA: His are like. Two, Three inches Tall

LL: First time when you're chopping off like a whole HEAD'S worth's a different STORY.

VA: AfTer shaving

RS: | Oh | It Hurts like Mad | the First Time You Cut Them Off |

RS: | But | It gets Easier After That | ! |

LL: Also, dude, WTF @ floating horn???

VA: I had nŏ clue. I knŏw iT hurTs like hell Tŏ break a hŏrn

ID: what you don't have a floating horn.

LL: Yeah, see, RS gets it!

LL: No, I got a floating MIDDLE FINGER for that HOOFBEASTSHIT.

AC: Ø I'm glad mine aren't too big. .u. Ø

RS: | Hahaha |

ID: i mean others can back up my floating horn claim.

AC: Ø it's true .u. Ø

RS: | He Does Have One | RS: | It is a Psionic Thing |

ID: all the coolest kids have one.

AC: Ø yup Ø

RS: | And | Be Glad | Maidel | ! | It is a Pain | Unfortunately |

LL: What happens when you're ASLEEP?

AC: Ø Big horns look really impressive but I can believe that. Ø

ID: yeah it keeps going.

LL: Or if someone, like, HITS it?

MN: at lEast your horns look grEat .PHERES.

LL: Like with a BAT or something.

ID: man i don't let people hit my horns.

LL: But what if they DID?

VA: Caring fŏr big hŏrns is hard Thŏugh

ID: i don't fucking know.

LL: It's never EVER happened?

RS: | They Do | But the Neck Pain is Awful | And | You can Never Lie on Your Back| For Starters | =:C |

RS: | And | Oh | Thank You | Em | ❤ |

AC: Ø .N. oh jeez Ø

VA: I shŏuld shave mine acTually...If They grŏw mŏre I wŏn'T be able Tŏ reach The Tŏps

ID: it's kinda a hard target. to hit my middle horn and not hit the main pair.

VA: CŏmfŏrTably

AC: Ø that's awful, Pheres Ø

RS: | Shave Them | VA | Before You have to Cut Them Instead | RS: | And | Haha | That's Why I Keep Mine so Short Now |

ID: wait you're supposed to be able to reach the tips of your horns. missed that memo.

VA: IT's easier fŏr me Tŏ care fŏr Them if I can

RS: | How do You Keep Them Polished | Hadean | RS: | If They are Too Long | ? |

VA: LasT Time my hŏrns were Tŏŏ Tall ŏne gŏT snapped ŏff

ID: polish.

ID: do i look like i have time and money for that.

MN: EVEr triEd making a homEmadE brEw

MN: its not that hard

RS: | | Brew | ? |

RS: | Are You Making Beer Now | ? |

VA: ŏh, hŏw dŏ yŏu make a hŏmemade pŏlish

LL: HELL yeah!

LL: Oh, shit, wait, actual POLISH.

LL: Nm, I've only done SUNSHINE.

ID: i don't bother. my horns stay alright?

VA: Sunshine is greaT Tŏ keep hidden away fŏr a bad nighT

RS: | Oh | You should Get Them Properly Polished at the Fair | ! |

MN: no .I. mEant polish

RS: | They'll Look Lovely | Especially Given Your Length |

ID: i dunno. maybe if i have time to kill.

ID: i don't let trolls touch the headgear too much.

ID: since that's just asking for some middle horn fondling.

LL: Omfg

LL: Dude, he's got a POINT.

LL: I bet someone would just, like, try and MOVE it just to see if it GOES.

RS: | Haha | Oh My | RS: | Heavne Forbid They Touch | Your Mysterious Middle Horn |

MN: gEEz go do your own fondling hadEan

ID: it's the source of my power- stop making it weird.

MN: stop asking the horn polishErs to do it for you

AC: Ø I've never gotten my horns polished before. .u. Ø

RS: | Oh | Really | ? |

MN: .I. haVE no idEa what yourE talking about~

AC: Ø Does it really make them look prettier? Ø

LL: Is it ACTUALLY?

RS: | I'll Do Your Horns | at the Fair | Then |

RS: | It Does | ! | I always Keep Mine Polished | RS: | | Oh | And I'll Sand Them | Too | If You'd Like | ? |

ID: what, no it's not actually my power source.

AC: Ø Oh, that's really nice of you Pheres! Are you sure? .u. Oh, um, if you know best! Gosh, I'm just used to the regular scrubbing and bed checks. Ø

AC: Ø I used to think only highbloods sanded and polished them, hah. Ø

AC: Ø Silly, I know. Ø

RS: | | Or | Well | Hm | RS: | We could Actually Gloss Them | That would Look Nicer | I Think | Given the Angle |

ID: do i get horn service too pheres.

AC: Ø ooh, okay Ø

ID: doesn't your booth babe need to look pretty.

RS: | Haha | Well |

MN: damn .PHERES. bEttEr chargE Extra for that

MN: sorry .I.m going to bEat up your booth babE

ID: attempt to beat me up. ftfy.

MN: will beat you up MN: ftfy

RS: | | I suppose | You will get the Full Horn Service | Hadean | RS: | Heaven Forbid | that You don't Look At Your Best | For Your Fight |

ID: great~ thanks. =:)

RS: | | Do I Get to Do the Middle Horn | Too | ? |

ID: i mean i guess that depends if you can handle some weird sensations.

ID: that sounds wrong-er than it actually is.

RS: | Heavens |

RS: | Hahaha | It only Sounds Wrong | If We do not Pointedly Ignore All Possibility that It Could Be Wrong | =:B |

RS: | Do You Spark if People Touch It | ? |

AC: Ø these aren't the wrongs you're looking for. .u. Ø

AA: yrn wrnongs arne in anothern castle. >:} RS: | Yes | Thank You | Sipa | =:B |

ID: it's kinda like a mild constant shock. hi sip.

AA: sup.

AC: Ø Your wrongs have not been rezzed .u. Ø

ID: fair talk. letting rs get all up on my headgear.

AA: lmfao, wow, phrnasing. AA: arne you gonna let him put beads on yrn horns, tho?? AA: b/c he totally used to do that. >:}

ID: what.

ID: no beads allowed my horns are weird enough. =:I

RS: | He doesn't Have the Grooves for Them | There'd be Nowhere to Hook Them | RS: | Unless We Carved Some In | But | That would Take Ages | Also | Brb | Customer |

AA: ... scrnatch that. no beads. you gonna let him carnve them up?? >:}

ID: hell no, i like my rack as it is. =:I

ID: also do you polish your horns sip. my horns look fine right. because i neglect the fuck out of them.

AA: lameee. why such a cluckbeast, dude?? AA: y, y, beforne fights. not, like, in gen. waaay too much of a bothern. >:} and the polish gets in yrn hairn. grnoss.

AA: and lmao. idk, man, they'rne not, like, flaking, rnight?

ID: i have a floating horn, i don't think my horns need more things for people to look at.

ID: note to pheres when he's back, no polish in my hair if you can.

ID: i mean. no? i never noticed them flaking. =:I

AA: idk, dude, ain't nothing wrnong w/ morne shit to look at. AA: it's what makes you stand out, duh. >:}

AA: have you checked if they'rne flaking??

ID: i think i stand out enough in a crowd already. no beads needed. =:P

ID: how do i check for flaking? not like i can reach most of my rack.

TC: !'ll look at them for you

ID: you won't be looking at anything once i'm done with you. hush up.

AA: rub 'em on a trnee and see if anything comes off?? that's what phern used to do. >:} AA: and lmaooo.

TC: Fuck ~o

AA: wow, hads, she's, like, trnyin' to be helpful. way 2bmean.

ID: i'm supposed to fight her so no she isn't.

ID: i don't know where to find trees in this stupid place.

TC: Shhhh let me help !D

ID: fuck off. =:I

AA: haha, shiiit, how many folks you fighting tonight??

ID: i mean i'm fighting them at the fair. tonight is my night off. i even got a hotel room, i get to use an actual shower. shit's gonna be great.

AA: bump 'em on a carnt, then. >:} orn, like, idefk, anything harnd?? AA: but not T O O harnd, you don't wanna snap 'em. AA: unless horn-grnizzled veternan is yrn aesthetic.

TC: !'m go!~g to shove !D's head u~der a horse wh!le !t takes a p!ss

ID: hmm. first attempt seems to result in no flaking and jeesh tc, gross and desperate.

AA: then yrn fiiiiiiine. they look fine, anyway. >:P AA: why arne you wornrnrying abt yrn horns, anyway?? AA: also, lmao, am i like AA: internrnupting, orn is tc just hella nasty? >:}

ID: so nasty.

ID: and because everyone was talking about horns and polishes and shit. =:I apparently i was the only weirdo not spending hours preening every night. so i want to see what i'm missing out on.

TC: Shut up !D

ID: how about no. and you shut up.

TC: Go fuck yourself

AA: ehh. phern's just a weirndo. he polishes his claws, too, dude. you gonna do that? >:} AA: and hahahaha, wowzerns. AA: tc, bb, calm yrn tits. like, spoilern alernt!

AA: but i am p surne he's just not that into you. AA: orn hornse piss. >:P

TC: AA please, !'m ~ot !~terested !~ h!m

TC: ! just wa~t to see h!m scream a l!ttle

TC: !~ horror

ID: is there any part of your body you can't polish? hey, maybe i'll let him polish my claws if he wants. i can look all shiny and new for like. five seconds.

ID: 1, you're weird, 2, not happening.

AA: n, prnobs not. rnoll arnound in oil and polish A L L T H E B I T S. AA: shit, if you ask, he's prnobs got that glitterny shit you dunk yrnself in.

AA: and - did i alrneady say lmao?? AA: bc lmao, W O W.

AC: Ø Glittery? .u. Ø

ID: i'm good without glitter. but hey. a little pampering never killed a troll, right? right.

AA: y. until you end up, like, in white up to yrn frnonds. >:} AA: and y!

AA: glitterny.

AA: like, y'know, sparnklernocks.

AC: Ø I never realized anyone put glitter on their horns, huh Ø

AC: Ø How long does it stay on? Ø

ID: hey, pheres said no white. and hey, get glittered up if you want ac. have to ask pheres for that info i bet.

RS: | Let Me Duck Over Here | However | ! | RS: | Because | Also | There is the Minor Matter of the Fact | RS: | Throwing Someone's Matesprit into a Conversation Erring on Pitch Flirtation |

RS: | is Not a Typical Means of |- DISSUASION -|

RS: | =:1 |

ID: remember she can usually spy in here.

ID: it totally works. what did you want me to say, stop this is icky? because, uh. definitely still fighting him. don't need to give him ammo.

ID: but scout's honor, definitely not pitch for the guy i couldn't even pick out of a crowd!

RS: | You Literally just Informed Me | That It is Entirely Possible to Tell Someone to Back Off | If They are Making You Experience Discomfort |

RS: | Is that Advice You are Evidently Unwilling to Follow Yourself | ? |

ID: someone you are definitely not going to fight, yeah.

ID: unless you want to fight me.

RS: | Yes | I am Dying to Fight You | You have Cracked The Case |

RS: | =:| |

LL: Dude, ID, it just sounds like you were kinda shoving your CARTILAGE NUB where it didn't BELONG.

LL: Like, this is usually the part where you say sorry and CHILL OUT instead of, like, making a weird THING out of it.

ID: thank you for your totally well informed opinion ll.

LL: I mean, I fuck up shit like that all the TIME.

RS: | Haha | Well | She isn't Incorrect |

LL: I don't KNOW you guys really well, and I don't know what HAPPENED

LL: So maybe PHERES needs to chill, too.

LL: But I'm saying GENERALLY.

RS: | I am Afraid You are Now Less Correct | =:P |

ID: well sorry~ and as for what just happened earlier. i tried to keep my flap closed and you encouraged me! so.

LL: I might be TOTALLY wrong, idk. LL: You guys just seemed kinda way more CHILL earlier, and you're both cool dudes.

LL: So I dunno why it has to be a BIG DEAL.

RS: | It is Not a Big Deal | RS: | I am Not Particularly Affronted | I am Merely Curious | as to What Hadean's Motives are In His Behaviours | That is All |

RS: | And | I Accept Your Apology | Although | I Encouraged You | RS: | Because I Was Not Expecting You to Actually | RS: | | Well | ! | I Thought We were Playing | Joking | Japing | That is All | =:1 |

ID: nope, that was definitely me trying to be nice and keep my flap shut.

RS: | | If You are Trying to Keep Your Flap Shut | RS: | Perhaps You should Not Say | That You are Actively Trying to Keep Your Flap Shut | RS: | Usually | We Simply Keep Our Flaps Shut |

RS: | No Need for Narration | Unless You are Orpheo |

ID: i like narration! and is orpheo the dumpster troll.

LL: He's TOTALLY the dumpster troll.

RS: | Yes | Haha | He is the Dumpster Troll |

ID: do i. want to know why others call him weeds.

RS: | Probably Not |

LL: I mean, guy that talks like THAT, he probably smokes BALES.

ID: well that's a lovely mental image.

RS: | Oh | Come Now | Smoking a Bale is not Historically Accurate |

RS: | I am Sure He Grinds It into a Fine Powder and Puts It in A Pipe |

ID: is that a thing you can do?

RS: | I do not Have the Faintest Idea | Haha | ! |

LL: That is

LL: NOT how you do it.

ID: damn ll you need to teach us clearly.

LL: lol

ID: in case i ever. want to see how well getting high works i guess.

LL: I mean, if you're freaking PULVERIZING IT, you're losing half the good shit! LL: Unless you're the kinda weirdo that goes licking it off the PESTLE, I guess.

ID: heavens forbid.

LL: Shit, I confused which RUSTBLOOD was TALKING for a sec.

ID: how dare you! =:P

RS: | How Very Dare You | =:P |

ID: it doesn't help that we have the same emoticons.

LL: No, dude, keep going, I bet you could do a NUTTY Pheres impression.

ID: i think me and pheres have had enough conflict for the night.

LL: Fair ENOUGH, dude.

ID: besides, pheres is like. one of the three or four trolls on here that hasn't threatened to kill me or wanted to hear me scream in horror or shit so i should be nicer!

LL: Duuuude, wtf?

LL: Don't people come to chatrooms to, like, MEET people to HANG OUT with?

LL: Why is everyone, like, FIGHTING and shit?

ID: i have a charming personality. =:P

LL: I dunno, man, you seem pretty COOL to me!

ID: and told tc no killing gliese. which has forever put me on her hitlist i guess.

LL: Oh, RIGHT, I remember that. LL: I don't get why GLIESE is all het up at me, neither, but I don't want her DEAD.

LL: She's just some RANDO on the internet.

ID: i dunno. something about you and calling the jades fakers. maybe she has a jade quad or something.

RS: | He does have a Charming Personality | And | Oh | She probably got Het Up on Emerel's Behalf |

ID: yeah they do seem close.

RS: | He does Like to Go On about How Unusual Jades Are | RS: | So | She likely Felt Offended at the Implication of | | People Faking Their Caste | ? |

LL: LOL

LL: Dude, I've TOTALLY done that before.

LL: It gets you IN places!

RS: | I should Clarify | Hadean | the Charming did not Hold Scarequotes | RS: | Despite Your Many Slights |

RS: | | Should You Admit That Online | ? | Haha |

ID: good to know because i was about to offer to not show my face around you at the faire.

LL: Pffft LL: I mean, it was FOREVER ago. LL: If you wanna call the COPS on me for something I did as a WIGGLER, go ahead, but I bet I got more cop friends than YOU. >:D

LL: Oh, shit, WHAT?

RS: | What | ? | No | Of Course You Should | RS: | Why wouldn't I Want You at the Faire | ? |

ID: because i'm a jerk?

LL: No, dude, we're hanging out and I'm buying you, like. FOOD and shit like you wanted. LL: You can't go avoiding PHERES, though, cos I'm chillin' with him, TOO.

RS: | Oh | You're Aggravating | But You're hardly a Jerk | RS: | And | Besides | I like Sipara Perfectly Well | And | Compared to Her | RS: | You are a Perfectly Docile Meowbeast |

ID: well i mean if food is involved. =:P can i have like. four of those giant gobblebeast legs. those are a thing at faires right.

LL: Dude, if it FITS in you, you can have it. LL: I have, like, WAY too much cash rn, idgaf. LL: Bring your HOLLOW WALKFROND.

ID: and well. yeah. fair. I'm not so aggro i put it right in my tag though! so sip got me beat there.

ID: sweet. =:D jokes on you like 75 percent of me is hollow.

RS: | ! | ! | ! |

LL: Between the floating HORN shit and the weird PSIONICS, I am only like 50% sure you're shitting me, here.

RS: | Congratulations | LL | RS: | I am Fairly Certain | That is the First Time I have Witnessed | an =:D smiley |

ID: oh so if i'm not a stock model psi i'm weird i see how it is.

ID: =:P at you pheres. food'll make anyone smile.

LL: Omg

LL: I made HISTORY, apparently!

LL: >:D

RS: | =:) |

LL: That SUCKS about Gliese, though. LL: Should I, like, TELL her I wasn't calling that guy a FAKER? LL: I was just saying WHAT IF cos people were on about how it was even POSSIBLE and shit. Doesn't mean nothing to me either WAY if a jade's a dude or even a JADE in the first place.

ID: don't let it go to your head. =:P

ID: uh protip: don't defend why you said things when you're apologizing.

LL: Too LATE, dude, my horns already GREW BACK.

RS: | Mm | I would Advise Against Telling Gliese Anything | RS: | But | If You really Wish to Get on Good Terms With Her |

RS: | Just Say that You're Sorry | You were Wrong | and Do not Focus on the Details |

ID: 'sorry, but-' conversations just end in more fighting. so yeah.

RS: | And | Then Move On | While She is Basking in the Feeling of having Socially Bested You |

RS: | She'll Forget about Her Ire | Soon Enough |

ID: yeah definitely do it where others can distract from the conversation.

LL: I guess that makes SENSE. LL: Then how do I know not to do it AGAIN, though?

RS: | Mm | ! |

LL: If I don't ASK.

LL: Not that she wanted to ANSWER, I guess.

RS: | | Ah |

RS: | Just | Watch What She Says | and Make Sure You only Agree With Her | ? | ? |

LL: I mean, I'm gonna just do what you SAID. LL: You guys got your shit resolved really NEAT-like, so you probs KNOW better.

LL: What, like about EVERYTHING?

LL: I don't care THAT much about her!

RS: | Not on Everything | She doesn't Get Aggressive over Everything | I Don't Expect |

RS: | Just the Things that Send Her Off into a Froth |

RS: | I don't Know | I Make Lists | Usually | of Contentious Topics | for the Individual | RS: | You could Do That | =:/ |

ID: no talking about faking or jades.

ID: should cover it.

LL: Ugh. LL: I guess I can TRY that, but if she starts getting WEIRD about shit then I'm gonna STOP.

LL: ID's thing sounds less hard to keep TRACK of.

ID: making a list of topics to avoid for everyone in the chat sounds like a pain pheres.

LL: ^^^

ID: but then i like. can barely remember most of their names so i guess i'm a shitty judge.

RS: | Not for Everyone in the Chat | Haha | RS: | Or | Most People in the Chat | Just | Quadrants | RS: | Close Friends | Enclades |

RS: | | Although | Making Ones for Chat Members does Seem Wise | RS: | Now that You Mention It |

RS: | You should Tell Me about Your Pet Peeves | The Both of You | Right Now | =:P |

ID: is your clade big or anything then? what about you ll?

ID: jeesh pheres put some trolls on the spot.

LL: LOL

LL: Mine's pretty SMALL! I just got my best guy and my moirail.

LL: Clydes ain't IN chats like this, though, and ID's the MOD.

LL: And, uhhh

RS: | No | Emerel's Kismesis is Gone | And | He never Let Me Meet Him |- Anyway -| RS: | So | He doesn't Count | Haha | Sipara has Her Ever-Rotating Kismesises | RS: | Riccin is an Old Clademate | But | Ah | The Rest of Them are Dead |

RS: | So | I don't Have to Keep Track of |- THEM -| Anymore | Haha |

LL: I get pissed off when people mess with my PEOPLE! LL: And when they get shirty and then get all CAGEY when I ask what their DAMAGE is. :\

ID: ll a lot of trolls in this chat are gonna annoy you.

LL: Gdi

LL: It's cool, YOU guys can be my bros. LL: And, like, that MAIDEL person.

LL: They're pretty cool.

ID: i cannot for the best of me remember which one maidel is.

ID: dr?

LL: The GREEN one that always says sorry! LL: Olive green, not JADE.

RS: | Oh | ! | Yes | Maidel is Practically Clade |

RS: | She is the Olive Green | Yes | Haha |

LL: Man, there's a lotta sorry GREENBLOODS around.

RS: | It's a Part of the Caste | I suppose | ! | RS: | The Ones outside of the Caverns are not a Very Confident Lot |

LL: Makes SENSE, I guess, if you grew up under a ROCK.

LL: CAVE, whatever.

ID: i kinda avoid talking to her. she seems so easy to set off. and then she leaves and that's no fun for her. =:/

LL: I mean, she should learn to DEAL with it better, then! LL: Like it doesn't matter how NICE people are, they're gonna say something shitty EVENTUALLY.

LL: So you gotte be able to CALL 'em on it or tell them to fuck OFF.

LL: Or have a quad to do it FOR you.

RS: | Oh | ! | Ah | RS: | He is Easier in Person | to Anticipate If He is Upset | ? |

RS: | He is just Very Shy | Mostly | But | Haha | Yes |

ID: i mean i agree but yeah. figure it'd be easier in person.

LL: He??

RS: | | I've been Looking for Her Quadrants | Actually | RS: | I think It would Do Her Good for Her Self-Esteem |

RS: | And | Confidence |

RS: | | He | ? |

ID: you called dr a he. and then a she. confused ll i think.

ID: also ll refresh me on what your name is.

RS: | Oh | They Switch | ! |

RS: | I am not Sure | the Particulars | ? | So | I just Switch | as the Inclination Strikes |

LL: That's CONFUSING as hell.

LL: But WHATEVER, I guess.

ID: means i can't call him/her the wrong gender i guess.

LL: Oh, shit, u rite

LL: Maybe it's LESS confusing, then. >:D

RS: | Hahaha | It is a Socially Fool Proof Strategy | on Her Part |

ID: ll. hand over the name. unless you prefer ll.

ID: but then at the fair people will think your name is ellell.

RS: | If You Prefer LL | That is Fine | Of Course |

RS: | Hahaha |

RS: | One of the Fellows Who Runs It | is Named Elilah |

RS: | LL would Fit Right In | =:) |

LL: Ellell sounds pretty RAD, but I'm BONNIE.

LL: And everyone keeps typing LL all LOWERCASE so it looks like II, ANYWAYS.

ID: bonnie. alright. bonnie is a nice enough name.

LL: Nice ENOUGH? LL: Damn, I SEE how it is! D:<

ID: it's no hadean. =:P

RS: | Hadean | Shame on You |

LL: LUL

RS: | Clearly | Bonnie is at Least A Name | of the Top Five Tiers | RS: | Perhaps the Top Eight | ? | At Least the Top Ten | =:) |

ID: aww i'm just joking pheres. bonnie isn't really offended! i think.

RS: | Below Pheres | Of Course | RS: | But | We can't All Have the Best Name |

ID: how do you even pronounce pheres.

RS: | | How do You Think It is Pronounced | ? |

LL: Dude, my skin's not THAT thin, don't even lfip.

LL: FAIR-iss?

ID: fear-ease?

LL: Or, like, feh-ree.

RS: | Close | Haha | ! | RS: | It is | Fuh | like | Furnace | RS: | And then | Reese | like Breeze |

ID: huh. okay. is bonnie like. bunny with an o?

RS: | But | You should Use Fair-Is | RS: | It is Easier to Say |

LL: I'm like 90% sure there's only ONE way to say Bonnie.

RS: | | Isn't it Bonnie | as In |

RS: | She is quite a Bonny Lass | ? |

LL: Yeah!

ID: hey sometimes people have weird ways of saying their name even when it looks easy.

LL: Shit, I lied. It's totes actually, like uh LL: BONE-AI

RS: | Bone Ai |

RS: | Well | It |- IS -| Six Letters |

ID: well then how do you say my name?

RS: | The same Way that Bonnie Does | I Imagine |

RS: | Ha | as in Laughter | RS: | Dee | as in | Ah | Dice | ? |

RS: | Awn | like Dawn |

ID: nah. but that's how like. everyone assumes i'm sure.

RS: | =:? |

RS: | How do You Pronounce It | ? |

RS: | Is It a Standard Name | ? |

ID: i mean what's standard when it comes to names.

RS: | Oh | No | Standard | As In | RS: | Central Continental Standard Alternian Common Dialect |

RS: | You Know | Standard | Haha |

LL: Wait, is that NOT how you say it?

LL: HADEAN, I mean

ID: like...

H as in hi, long a like. base. d as in dye. a as in about. and an n. like. no.

ID: like. hey-de-an?

ID: it's easier to just say and have a troll repeat.

ID: also sorry for the pause, was ransacking the snack bar in the room next to me.

RS: | Hopefully | They weren't In It | at the Time | Haha |

RS: | Hadean is a Pretty Name | Though | ! |

ID: nah, most trolls have cleared out. probably to parties and their loved ones or whatever.

ID: pheres is a nice name too. is the fuh-reese way you say it?

SA: haydee-in, bonny, phair-Rees, was how I was reading them until corrected. You all have such different names.

ID: well what about you sa? what's your name?

SA: I don't remember my assigned name. I go by Prisma.

ID: ...assigned name huh. okay. prisma it is.

SA: don't most trolls have their names recorded by the cavern matrons?

ID: i mean most people don't call them assigned? i don't think?

SA: oh. I apologize, I'm not very familiar with the terms. I am very forgetful.

SA: Hadean?

ID: yeah that's me.

RS: | Oh | I got Distracted | My Apologies | That is How I Say My Name | RS: | And | Hm |

RS: | I don't Know If Names get Assigned | ? | I never Thought About It |

RS: | you Just | You Know | Have One |

SA: I see.

SA: So where did your names come from? Did you just know them at the front of your mind?

SA: That sounded rude, i apologize.

ID: don't lusii do that shit.

SA: I was mostly going off of Pheres's statement.

ID: i dunno. i just know i have a name and it rocks.

LA: I LIKE MY NAME!!!

SA: Who are you?

LA: MYSELF

LA: DUH

ID: oh god it's in here too.

LA: AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

RS: | Oh | I never Asked | RS: | I Grew up in a Hivestem | Haha | ! |

RS: | So | People have Always Used My Name |

LA: IT'S ARISTE

SA: Ariste.

SA: I like this one.

SA: I see... That sound different, RS.

LA: SOMEONE HERE HAS GOOD TASTE LA: IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!

RS: | Heavens | You're Enthusiastic | Aren't You | ? |

RS: | And | Haha | Is It | ? | RS: | Where did You Grow Up | ? |

LA: ABOUT WHAT???

RS: | | Everything | from the Sounds of It | ? |

LA: NO I'M PRETTY CHILL TODAY

SA: I meant I liked the name. But the enthusiasm is acceptable too.

SA: I grew up... elsewhere.

SA: It was very private and isolated.

ID: elsewhere is ominous as fuck.

LA: WELL MY NAME IS AWESOME SO I CAN FORGIVE YOU

SA: I was raised on a colony. Is that a less ominous answer.

LA: WAS IT AT LEAST A FUN COLONY

ID: barely.

LA: IS YOUR NAME SA NOW

SA: Ariste thinks it could be fun.

RS: | What Sort of a Colony | ? |

ID: ariste has the intelligence of a sponge.

SA: I don't know how to explain it. I don't recall most of it, either. It was an experimental colony. Scientific.

SA: I suppose that is "fun" in a way.

ID: /oh/.

LA: HOW DO YOU KNOW ID

LA: YOU'VE KNOW ME FOR 20 MINUTES

SA: my name is Prisma, LA.

LA: DO YOU READ MINDS

LA: PRISMA

LA: RAINBOWS AND SHIT

LA: THAT'S COOL

SA: I am clairvoyant and telekinetic.

LA: CONGRATULATIONS

SA: I don't read minds. I simply know things.

LA: I WAS ASKING IF ID READS MINDS THOUGH

SA: i msiread, I apologize.

RS: | Oh | ! |

RS: | I Think You are Our First Telekinetic |

RS: | Congratulations | Haha |

ID: nah i don't read minds. but i can sense idiots.

SA: do all of you have psionics...?

LA: DUH

ID: i think so.

LA: WHO DOESN'T

ID: plenty of trolls.

LA: OOOH ID SENSES IDIOTS LA: SO DO YOU SENSE EVERYONE OR WHAT

SA: i like this.

ID: nah, being around you is like trying to spot the stars when the sun is out. your stupidity blocks everyone else.

SA: LA, I think they were being facetious.

RS: | Yes | I think So | ! |

LA: I THINK THEY'RE BEING CUTE

RS: | Er | To the Fact We All have Psionics |

RS: | Not to the Idiots Thing |

ID: i'm fucking adorable as shit.

LA: COME HERE AND LET ME PINCH YOUR LITTLE CHEEKS

ID: how about no.

LA: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

LA: CUUUUUTE

SA: what are you psonics, RS?

SA: look at them. they're bonding.

RS: | Presently | I suspect They are My Ability to Marvel at |

RS: | Well |

RS: | Everything in Here |

RS: | Haha | =:B |

RS: | | Ah | No | But | I can Teleport | ! |

SA: Teleporting... That's an admirable psionic.

ID: marveling at how weird la is you mean pheres.

LA: YOU SURE ARE HUNG UP ON HOW WEIRD I AM

LA: HOW OLD EVEN ARE YOU

LA: LIKE 2

ID: sure, i'm 2.

LA: COOL

RS: | Yes | Yes | That is What I Mean |

RS: | Haha |

RS: | | And | Oh | I don't know If I'd Call It Admirable | ? | It's just a Thing |

RS: | Telekinesis is So Much More Useful |

LA: IT'S ONLY AS USEFUL AS FAR AS YOU NOT GETTING HIT FROM BEHIND GOES

ID: can you teleport far?

SA: But many psions I've met don't have it. It is unique.

SA: My telekinesis is very weak, right now.

SA: I'd rather teleport.

RS: | Ahh | Define Far | ! |

ID: like. out of sight.

SA: could you jump blocks that way?

RS: | Oh | ! | Probably | Um | RS: | I can Go Up to Fifty Feet | I think | And I've Gone Farther | But |

RS: | It's not Ideal |

RS: | Haha | Too Tiring |

LA: WICKED!!!

SA: are there any risks associated with it?

LA: WHO CARES LA: I'M IMAGINING WHAT KIND OF SWEET AIR YOU'D GET WITH THAT!!

SA: and how many sweet broken bones could be received.

AA: | | No Broken Bones | ! |

LA: NOT IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING

RS: | And | Um | Not Really | ? | Nothing More than the Usual | ! |

ID: the usual, that's comforting.

[geejaysmith]

can you tell us more about digimon au for homestuck

Oh BOY here we go down MEMORY LANE

In a nutshell back in middle/high school if I liked a fandom the impulse to do a Digimon crossover would come about sooner as opposed to later. I think some of my very first Homestuck fan arts (probably buried in one sketchbook of many at my dad’s) had John regarding digi-eggs at Primary Village. Also, Jade and the Space Core from Portal 2. At one point I was so into the Fanfic Chop Suey thing I had created this epic saga that I never actually wrote down that started with Digimon, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Hellsing and ended up getting Tokyo Mew Mew, Kingdom Hearts, Lyrical Nanoha, Gurren Lagann, Evangelion, Madoka, and finally Homestuck and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic involved before I finally lost interest towards the tail end of my high school years. That’s right, if anything my crossovers have gotten significantly tamer as time has gone on. 

But a few survivors straggled out of the mess, including the notion that, via Time Shenanigans, the Homestuck kids didn’t just create the universe that would become the Digital World, they were also the O.G. Digidestined Gennai talked about late into Digimon Adventure, and created the Crests to boot. Seriously, if you stop and think about it, you can have each one of the eight Crests ascribed to one of the kids (the crests of Kindness, Miracles, and Destiny could even slot in there if you got a few trolls in on the action) and it fits pretty well. A couple of Digimon designs survived the mess too, to be remade and refined on the occasions they resurfaced in my mind.

Past that, I’ve just got a handful of the kids’ partner Digimon and the desire to combine elements of the different seasons of the show with Homestuck proper. I mean, a narrative full of characters being treated as literal video game protagonists, combined with the central conceit of a digital world full of living monsters? I can see possibility there, I’ve just never been quite able to wrap my head around what to do with it. I know I want to keep the Digimon partners + crests thing, mostly because the coincidence of the crests is a little too good to pass up. 

As far as partners go, there’s at least three that’re matches made in heaven. First, Calliope/Caliborn with Lopmon (though you could argue that the whole twin Digimon thing Willis had going on would be even more appropriate). Lopmon is a bunny whose digivolutions are known for having a running theme of moral duality: Kokomon in Our War Game, Antylamon in Tamers, and Cherubimon in Frontier. FFS: it’s called CHERUBimon, and it even looks like a giant clown. Every one of its evolutions is known for being absurdly powerful. To add icing to the cake, Lopmon is pink and girly and that fact would drive Caliborn up the wall.Jake and Patamon are another good match, what with Patamon being small and underpowered and consistently being the last and least frequent to Digivolve, despite becoming the most brokenly overpowered thing ever when he does. That and Patamon is associated with angels and the Crest of Hope, and it’s thematic for both his and Calliope/Caliborn’s partners to be part of the All-Powerful Angel Trio.Then finally I want to toss out Dave and Solarmon, whom I remembered from the Digimon Dusk/Dawn games. Its entire line is Dave’s motifs to a fucking T. It starts as a giant talking red gear, digivolves to Clockmon, then to Knightmon, then either to Alphamon (a Holy Knight) or MetalSeraphimon, which kind of ties in the bird motif that’s otherwise missing. 

I’m also pretty firm on Rose and Roxy being partnered with a Gatomon and BlackGatomon respectively, though you could arguably swap those around and it would make as much sense? John, Jane and Jade I always had trouble with assigning a partner, so I made them original monsters I may still have scribbles for lying somewhere or other. For Dirk, I liked the idea of a Shoutmon, but rewatching Digimon Adventure kind of makes me want to put him with a Biyomon. 

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Get Off the Lawn

[The PARTY TRAIN is a-rolling... and given the sort of situation at and, they've officially reached a time when it's now-or-never. Indeed, the white house lawn-- and much of the DC area-- has been overtaken by massive, colorful circus tents, and BRIGHT, with BRIGHT, SHINING SPOTLIGHTS. Rolling up on this in Jeff's tiny train, it's amazed they aren't run over by what amounts to a media circus-- news vans and camera crews are practically EVERYWHERE, an enormous crowd of people behind velvet ropes and leaning over to watch the small trickle of juggalos entering the circus tents, surrounding the literal circus with a media circus. Despite this, there is no line for entrance to the carnival itself, the dark labrynth of twisting tents and attractions having only a single vendor jamming to horrorcore and a whole heap of INTERVIEWERS looking for a HOT SCOOP.]

[ It's a hell of a scene to look at from a distance. The white house itself isn't even visible beyond the DARK CARNIVAL.]

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- What the shit actually

QIRIN: ... 

QIRIN: I have not yet determined whether a lack of a welcome party is good news or not.

PENNY: yeeeeeeeeEEEEHAW.

ROXANNE: -Euugh, she didnt really mind clowns until this very moment.-

[ Fortunately there are no clouns in IMMEDIATE sight. Just clown-adjascents.]

JEFF: =SWEATING SO MUCH and stays right where he is=

PENNY: -she's made up in clown paint and shit too, rattling her car. she's ready to be rowdy.-

PENNY: -NOT LIKE THEY CAN INFILTRATE REALLY GREAT AFTER BROADCASTING THEMSELVES BUT HEY. MAYBE.-

DEREK: -he's with you, penny... both in attitude and attire.-

KURLOZ: =takes one look around, scrunches up his nose=

[ The current question is: Who is in some kind of disguise, clown makeup or otherwise, and who is not? THE OTHER QUESTION is how close are they getting to the entrance? There is a clear path straight down the middle to the entrance-- with the only landmines being a few reporters and papparazos, and only the occasional fully-garbed Juggalo strides confidently through the entrance.]

RILEY: -this is some bullshit but they have to blend in. And she also refused to stay back by herself. So you win some and you lose some.- holy fuck.

DAVENFORTH: -He's wearing a latex Donald Trump mask. The biggest clown of them all-

RILEY: -DAAAAAAAMN-

ROXANNE: -Most people are getting down with the clown disguise and she is no exception, this is a serious mission despite the smile painted onto her face.-

QIRIN: =She loves you Davenforth, but she can't help but make a face at that mask=

DAVENFORTH: -Well if no one else is getting out, he is. Hello. This is gonna be yuuuuuuuge.-

REPORTER:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

REPORTER: -This one troll is scampering up for the FIRST and HOTTEST scoop-

REPORTER: We;; HE;;O and WE;COME to this historic occasion!

REPORTER: Wou;d you be wi;;ing to answer a few questions? For AMERICA?

DAVENFORTH: Anything for america of course no one loves america more than me if anyone claims as such theyre lying so many people ask me how can you love america and i tell them america is just so wonderful ill show you how much i love america its just the best

ROXANNE: -Davenforth plz.-

RILEY: -she's gonna lose it at this answer so she has to carefully cover her mouth and not mess up her make-up at the same time. Fucking ridiculous-

DEREK: Can I get a whoop whoop for America?

QIRIN: =She wants all this over with so she can get this horrific layer of oil off her face= QIRIN: Whoop whoop!

REPORTER: We;; A;; give a whoop whoop for America! -Makes sure she's in frame as a tubby cameraman holds up a few recording devices with telekinesis. HE LOOKS INCREDIBLY DISINTERESTED IN THIS WHOLE PROCSES.- REPORTER: Te;; the country how EXCITED you are to be taking part of the judicia; process in the first ever, hands-on pub;ic execution of justice on this FORMER;Y backwards world!

ROXANNE: -Stay strong Riley. She is also hoping off the train.- Whoop, lets go 'Murica!

PENNY: WHOOP WHOOOOOP!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Ill tell you this never again will there be so many whoop whoops the amount of whoop whoops today will just be staggering theyre all going to wonder why so many whoops were not had before and ill tell you the american will whoop again they will whoop like they never did before thank you so much

LIFERA: -she, too, is in clown makeup... and made up to look way more purple than she actually is.- 38D

RILEY: -fuck. - whoop fuckin' whoop.

REPORTER: -she is just plain FLABBERGASTED by this man's charisma-

PENNY: -leans and whispers to Qirin- (whats she mean public execution?)

QIRIN: =has a feeling that some pyropes would not take too kindly to the public execuction of justice of any kind= QIRIN: =just..again= Whoop whoop!

HIGHBLOOD: =Gets his bigass on up out here, picking his fangs=

QIRIN: (It is likely exactly what she means.)

REPORTER: One ;ast question! Are you hoping for a seat on the cabinet? Or are you just here for the exhuberant and divine joy of mass mu-- OH GOOD HEAVENS!

REPORTER: (ARE YOU GETTING HIM IN FRAME? GET HIM IN FRAME, ASSHOLE.)

REPORTER: -the other one pans up a bit to look at the Highblood's BIG OLD FACe.-

HIGHBLOOD: =HE'S A FRESH 600 SWEEPS MAYBE=

DAVENFORTH: Look at my my highblood caste friend over there just look at him look at my purple american friend

REPORTER: Ahahaha! Yes indeed, America! You are seeing it here first and best!

REPORTER: Even dishonored expatriates are eager to win their p;ace in the New America! REPORTER: I'm assuming that you are hoping for a spot on the cabinet, but-- oh!

REPORTER: Any statements you'd ;ike to make?

REPORTER: -HOLDS THE MIC UP TO GHB-

LIFERA: -really close to GHB... she is not comfortable now that the camera is in their direction...-

LIFERA: >38D;;

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down at this reporter troll= HIGHBLOOD: ...... =leans on down, slowly, covering this tiny fish with his hair probably= HIGHBLOOD: hah HIGHBLOOD: haha...hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =Big booming laughter, she don't even need the mic for this= HIGHBLOOD: =straightens up, lifts hand= no further inquiries sis. =strides his ass on=

REPORTER: -CLEARLY UNNERVED AND FORCING A FAKE SMILE-

DAVENFORTH: What an articulate speaker there he goes my clown american friend give it up everybody

REPORTER: ..... (:C

ROXANNE: -Dammn big clown, you go.-

LIFERA: -DOES SOME KIND OF DIMISSIVE HAND SIGN FROM UNDERNEATH THE HAIR. It's about all that can be seen of her as she strolls along-

[ The other seem to be TRYING to get an interview, but the circus itself beckons, and they're all a TEENSY bit intimidated by GHB's presence.]

DEREK: Much clown love from that jolly motherfucker amirite?

DAVENFORTH: -Falls in line with GHB- DAVENFORTH: You alright magilla

PENNY: hell motherfuck yeah my ninja. -leans against Derek with an entire bottle of Faygo.-

HIGHBLOOD: :o) HIGHBLOOD: alls am gonna get right and recalibrated

RILEY: -they're way too good at this-

RILEY: -sticks with lifers tho-

RILEY: -or you know...lifera-

PENNY: -IT'S TWO WHOLE LITERS.-

DAVENFORTH: Im calibrated get me and my bro a big enough distraction and ill get the rest taken care of

ROXANNE: -Shes trailing behind Davenforth to make this a clown entourage.-

[ The ticket taker, too busy jamming to bother stopping them or even explaining anything, could PROBABLY be hassled with a determined effort, but they could also slip right past if they didn't care about this guy's shit. ]

HIGHBLOOD: dones is done and done

HIGHBLOOD: =Would killing him be a determined effort=

[ no man he's pretty easy to kill ]

PENNY: -squeezing past and also quipping at the reporter now- yeah tell yallselves the fams gonna party real hard tonight. HATCHETS HIGH IN THE SKY.

DAVENFORTH: Thank you my clown american friend

LIFERA: -pulls Riley into the hair. join her.-

DEREK: Ill raise my faygo to that juggalette.

RILEY: -OOOOH HAIR TENT-

PENNY: -CACKLES-

RILEY: -it tickles-

DEREK: -CHUGS HIS OWN BOTTLE. its orange obv.-

LIFERA: -whispers to her- (Stick with me. If it gets dangerfish, I'll protect you.)

HIGHBLOOD: =He's a secret meeting place, good yes=

RILEY: (i'm swooning already. take me away.)

[ The carnival itself-- and oh, fuck, this is kinda dizzying. It's not set up like a regular carnival, with lots of games and attractions and flashing lights to attract attention and tokens, but rather, it's decorated with strung lights and smears of blood on the floor. Most of the blood appears to be human blood, and the lighting seems to turn at a dime from dim to blindingly bright. There are TONS of exits from this one circus tent alone-- at least five-- and it's hard to tell where the others lead to. Notes are scrawled on the canvas in blood, but most of them are extolling the virtues of mass murder, or the first few lines of JUGGALO PRAYERS.]

[ On a less severe note, the place is just sorta grody besides that. Like carnival grody.]

RILEY: ...

ROXANNE: -Nasty.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Makes face atthat scripture on the walls.= :o/

DAVENFORTH: -Stretches a little. Adjusts his tie.-

ROXANNE: -Also moves up next to Davenforth.- (Hey wall building homie. plan of route?) ROXANNE: -She ASSUMES he roughly has some sort of plan...please.-

DAVENFORTH: (They fucked this up a lot more than i thought it may take me a little bit to make out a route play along for now)

PENNY: -strides almost drunkenly along with Derek, but it's all just a ruse. She's just trying to seem nonchalant about this whole thing, eyes half-lidded and grinning, but her heart is pounding. This place is fucking weird.-

ROXANNE: (M'kay.) ROXANNE: (Is it also just me or does this place reek like a compost dump?)

RILEY: -you're doin' good lil sis.-

DAVENFORTH: (Welcome to juggalos lil mama)

DAVENFORTH: -Looks for a high point for him to clamber up and gain a better view-

ROXANNE: (Im already ready ta'say goodbye.) -Keeps smiling besides being anxious as fuck.-

[Tent poles, if he wants to shimmy. Once he gets high enough he can cut a hole in the canvas and peep out of it.]

LIFERA: -GIGGLING at Riley for a moment, but just keeps her hand on her arm and quiets again. That blood everywhere... humans are so fragile. She doesn't want anyone to be hurt here.- (I fish I cod!) LIFERA: (It smells like stale stank.)

DAVENFORTH: (Be right back yall) -Already shimmying up a tentpole-

DEREK: -he's got u penny. he's pretty zen himself, but pumped to be here and do this shit finally. pats the sisters shoulder, but guides the pair of them over to davenforth and roxanne so he can eavesdrop on their whispering-- oh but he ascends.-

DEREK: -bobs while he watches this-

PENNY: -that's not conspicuous at all... just fuckin tips up her two liter of faygo and drinks while watching this. this is normal.-

ROXANNE: -Look at him go.- ROXANNE: -Just gonna lean on that pole a little, its totally chill there is nothing suspicious going on here.-

[YOU KNOW HE LOVES TO SHIMMY]

RILEY: (honestly i've been liking the whole mouth breather thing.)

DAVENFORTH: -Shimmy shimmy coco puff. Shimmy shimmy now. Cutting this tent all up, what's he peepin now?-

LIFERA: (You shouldn't talk about your husband like that.) 38)

[The bright light from the Outdoors streams in through the hole he just cut-- and it's kind of a run, sure, but he can see the white house now that he's got a good vantage.]

DEREK: -damn..................... or should he say dwamn-

[There's actually a decent enough route BETWEEN the tents, if he commits it to memory-- leading right to the front door. It seems like the secret service has been co-opted by carnival attractions, though.]

DAVENFORTH: -Slides down the pole on some cirque de soleil shit-

DAVENFORTH: Alright got it its kind of a jog but nothin too bad lot of tents in the way

ROXANNE: -Steps away from it so he has room to get down.- ROXANNE: Sweet.

DAVENFORTH: -Looks at GHB- Everyone ready

PENNY: say the word homie.

RILEY: -she snorts at that comment lifera makes- (oh shit. nice.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Thumbs up and rolls his shoulders=

ROXANNE: Lets fuck shit up.

LIFERA: -glubs softly and nods! wait. peeks out of the hair and then nods!-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes through the tent into the actual carnival itself and it's hitting him how fucking....CARNIVAL like this shit is. Oh...-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody like carnival games like i mean just for the record just asking for a friend a cheeto dusted friend

[READY OR NOT, here it comes. And by IT i mean the true nature of the Dark Carnival itself; it is where sinners are taken to be TESTED and learn the DARK MORALS of the joker cards. Indeed-- here's one now! The sinner in question is a human, gagged, blindfolded and tied, atanding underneath some kind of strength-tester machine-- the kind where you hit the lever and a big metal thingy flies up to ding a bell. Set up in such a way that after it goes up, it's going to come straight down on this dude's head, and guarded by a four-foot-five troll who is frankly built with terrifying muscles.-

ROBUSTO: YOU THINK YOU ARE AS STRONG AS ROBUSTO???? PROVE YOUR STRENGTH OR DIE LIKE COWARD-MAN WHO TELLS STATE SECRETS TO FOREIGN POWERS.

LIFERA: !!!

PENNY: -oh god yep here they go.....-

DAVENFORTH: -Whispers a reclaimed racial slur under his breath-

RILEY: (anybody tries to fucking do that shit i'll be the one whackin you over the head.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Ants=

ROBUSTO: -HOLDS UP AN ENORMOUS MALLET. It's wooden and heavy.- WHO WILL TAKE ROBUSTO'S CHALLENGE????

DAVENFORTH: And if we say fuck yourself with that righteous noise

DAVENFORTH: Just checkin for a friend

LIFERA: -soft hissing in this hair. She.... starts shuffling closer to Davenforth.- (Go. Keep going.)

DAVENFORTH: (Lif)

RILEY: - fucking striders-

ROBUSTO: -SQUINTS. And twirls his moustache.-

LIFERA: (Now.)

ROXANNE: -Hhgh. This is already another layer of hell, but also Davenforth dont call attention.-

HIGHBLOOD: testin strength...... HIGHBLOOD: =eyeballs Robusto= we can play this game while y'all check shit it :o)

ROXANNE: -Listen to your fish wife.-

LIFERA: -punches Davenforth in the shoulder and laughs-

DAVENFORTH: -Soft marge noise-

ROBUSTO: A-HA! ROBUSTO: FINALLY. ONE WHO IS NOT WEAK AND COWARD WHO FAILS TO WIN GLORIOUS HONOR OF BLOOD PRIZE DEAD MAN SHATTER SKULL.

ROBUSTO: -shoves the mallet in GHB's hand-

LIFERA: T)(IS MOT)(-ERFUCK-ER TOO WIMPY TO DO IT. G-ET OUTTA )(-ER-E.

RILEY: (jesus christ.)

DAVENFORTH: When that beat hits yall -We book it-

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST indeed-

DEREK: -he's ready to book it... sipping his faygo.-

ROBUSTO: -STRENUOUSLY FLEXES-

HIGHBLOOD: =This mallet is a toothpick isn't it? Look at his ham hands... but he takes it. Snrks=

HIGHBLOOD: =Crouches= :o)

LIFERA: -watches GHB carefully-

ROBUSTO: -FLEXES EVEN MORE-

ROBUSTO: ✨💪✨

RILEY: i would prefer not to have someone's blood on me but you know.

HIGHBLOOD: =Bops Robusto like a field mouse. Right on the cranium bro=

ROXANNE: -Ah, yep. There it is.-

DAVENFORTH: Cheese it

PENNY: -WELL JESUS-

ROXANNE: -Time to book it fellas and lady gents.-

RILEY: -OK BYE-

LIFERA: -WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR THIS-

DAVENFORTH: -Bolts to the right and rips through the canvas. White house here we come!-

ROBUSTO: -oh MAN he takes a lump for sure. His head is CRACKED loudly and he holds up a finger in SHEER OUTRAGE- ROBUSTO: COWARD WIGGLER STRIKES ROBUSTO INSTEAD OF RUBOSTUS KILLMAN KILLING... ROBUSTING... ROBUSTO: ROBOTS??? ROBUSTO: -he falls over DEAD.-

DEREK: -throws this sugary shit on the dirty ass ground and flash steps after davenforth-

DAVENFORTH: -Babe I'm already gone. Kanye shrug-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYES the others and opens his arms= now now HIGHBLOOD: what else ams i testin?

ROXANNE: -YOU BOYS AND YOUR FLASH STEPING. She cant do that but she can sure sprint like hell after sending a glance to the rest of the group. Good luck guys.-

PENNY: -aaaaAAAHHHHH. SHAKES UP HER FAYGO FURIOUSLY and DUNKS it on the ground. it goes shooting up like a fucking rocket and sprays the crowd-

[The nearby juggalos murmur and mutter something. A few of them SCAMPER OFF, but a small group brandishes a set of hatchets.]

[Apparently this seems to indicate that they'd tie a rope to their dicks and jump off a building, should the mood strike them, but ALSO, that they think they can Totally take the guy that murdered Robusto.]

DAVENFORTH: -Well he don't wanna leave Rox behind. No flash stepping yet, but he's also sprinting around the perimeter of tents. It's hard to breathe in this Trump mask y'all.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't let him talk them out of it. There's gonna be a lot of blood back here as he will grab and squish skulls...sans for One. One he'll voodoo and have murderlate their pals.=

ROXANNE: -That is greatly appreciated.-

LIFERA: -grabs Riley's wrist and drags her behind GHB, toward the fucked up strength tester and the human that's tied up. She sure doesn't need to see this, and while that's happening, they could get this guy outta here-

PENNY: -she's just gonna uhhhh. stay outta GHB's way. yeaahhhh-

[I WILL SPARE U THE GORY DETAILS OF HOW DEAD THE GROUP IS. Except for the one guy hollering and raising his hatchet chasing after the other clowns. The others don't think there's anything fucked up about that, though, that just sorta happens sometimes.]

PENNY:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PENNY: -she's gonna need to get REAL fucked up after this-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's snickering as this happens, what a bunch of idiots. He's covering the ladies=

RILEY: -IS PULL. Looks up at this tied up Guy. SHES PRETTY GOOD AT UNTYING. Except when she isn't. She's going to do her best- okay dude you're going to run as fast as you can outta here.

LIFERA: B-ETT-ER Y-ET. -She unties the gag around the guy's mouth and the blindfold from his eyes, and then pulls out a little container of greasy black paint, smearing his face with it.- 38)

GUY: -wheezes.- th-thank you. Those people a-are... -TRYING NOT TO FOCUS ON THE GORE OVER THERE- GUY: ... GUY: don't eat the funnel cake. -As soon as he's free he BOLTS.-

HIGHBLOOD: yo what >:o/ HIGHBLOOD: how the fuck they fucked up funnel cake... dumb motherfuckers

LIFERA: Glub...

RILEY: no funnel cake over here.

QIRIN: =She doesnt even know how to comment to all of this=

LIFERA: Ocray... ST-EP BACK.

[It seems that this particular tent is cleared, save for some gruesome reminders. There are three other flaps; one leading back where they came from, near the ticket booth, one branching to the left and one branching to the right.]

LIFERA: -motions the other ladeez to get outta the way before doing a little half lean and then KICKING the strength tester to try to knock it down. NO MORE OF THIS.-

[ IT CRASHES.]

[CLONK]

QIRIN: =claps softly= Property damage, hurrah. ^_^

LIFERA: T)(ANKS.

QIRIN: =high five, lif!=

LIFERA: -SLAP-

LIFERA: Where to now?

[would they like to inspect any passages in particular]

[One leading back where they came, one to the right and one to the left.]

[There is the vague sound of music coming from the right... and the vague sound of someone furiously arguing to the left.]

QIRIN: =is is possible to hear what they are arguing about from here?=

[NOPE]

[u would have to get closer, and 'closer' means probably 'through the passage entirely.']

PENNY: -she's already heading toward the left one....-

[aw shit. If she makes it through, she'd see... well, someone who MAY or MAY not be recognizable to her.]

PENNY: -she's DOING IT.-

PENNY: -waves the others over-

[either way, it's the current secretary of state, one Alex Abbiss. He seems to be shouting down a group of juggalos-- some hatchet-wielding and TERRIFIED fellows who probably just saw Robusto get murdered.]

HIGHBLOOD: =Hey what's up hello, I murdered up your friend and now it's your turn to go=

[It is OBVIOUS that this is an important guy, and as they get closer to the man in a bloodstained jersey with a whole rack of vynyl records strapped to his back, they can hear what he's helling about-- how important he is and how NONE of these goddamned posers are gonna be gunning for HIS job, he MADE the ICP, do you HEAR HIM]

[This changes as he hears them enter, and FLINGS a razor-sharp record at them in a fury.]

PENNY: - SH I T-

PENNY: -JUST TRIES TO DUCK-

[she gets... a SMALL haircut. ]

[He's pulling some more records on them. HE'S READY TO TUSSLE.]

PENNY: -THAT MOTHERFUCKER.-

PENNY: -whips out her gun because... well, it's really the only thing she knows how to use, but it's gonna make a lot of noise...-

LIFERA: -leading Riley along after her??-

[The other juggalos seem to have fallen in rank behind him, because shit, okay, MAYBE they just tried to murder him, but they can also get in good with him if they kill these people? Whatever. IT'S A SURE FIRE RUCKUS HAPPENING, THAT'S FOR SURE.]

QIRIN: =oh hell WHY= QIRIN: =raises her dukes! Her spear is noticable enough that it might blow her cover and that would just put prospit in a (more) precarious situation.=

ERIDAN: -some masquerade masked fish is rolling into the scene. Literally rolling in on an actual unicycle somewhere under the flashy cape he's wearing. A relic from a time he used to be proud to wear such a thing.- ERIDAN: -Hey, Penny. He's here and swinging out a LAUNCHER of some kind. They'll find out what it does in the second he fires it.-

PENNY: -THE FUCK???-

[Don't worry boys, clustering up together in a tight group is the BEST kind of tactics.]

[The juggalos all agree with that sentiment.]

LIFERA: -peeks in for this... the fuck-

PENNY: -she agrees with that sentiment, as it happens-

ERIDAN: -Fires the launcher like he's shooting fish in a barrel. In a single swift PCHOO, it explodes in a thick vault of LIQUID NITROGEN right over the juggalos. The chemical will be freezing on impact with their skin.- B/

[oh FUCK. They start to charge as a group, hatchets HIGH, and then they continue to do so, with their hatchets high, in that EXACT position, possibly FOREVER. They are SUPER DUPER FROZEN.]

ERIDAN: -Owwned.-

ERIDAN: so ERIDAN: the others been on their wway huh looks like it -just kinda balancing there. Just another Thursday afternoon.-

PENNY: ....... dude.

LIFERA: Y-ES. You're about on tide.

[By the look of things, YES. This cut rate Fieri-clone has been put to his end; along with a sizable number of juggaspirants.]

ERIDAN: -pockets the rifle. Safe and sound.- alright ERIDAN: yall finishin the job or should wwe keep pressin wwith the dispatchin ERIDAN: it aint goin to end wwith the death a the figureheads wwe ought to be securin a method a escape

LIFERA: CL-EARING T)(-E WAY. Sounds good to me.

[Behind them, there is suddenly the sound of... sizzling grease?]

QIRIN: =is there an alternate weapon she can grab? perhaps from literal cold, dead hands?=

[Hot oil and something being poured into it-- and though he was not visible there before, he is now.]

VENDOR: You look like you could use some

funnel cakes.

PENNY: oh hell no.

[As for weapons, there are SHARP VINYL RECORDS and HATCHETS to choose from Qirin.]

VENDOR:

FREE OF CHARGE.

ERIDAN: -mghhh. He's hungry suddenly, flicking fins in the direction of the sound.- ERIDAN: -taking out a sniper's rifle now, balanced on his unicycle. B[ -

VENDOR: [He holds out the funnel cake.. towards you, specifically, Eridan.]

VENDOR: [It smells... intoxicating. Literally.]

VENDOR: This... is rare supply. We're running low. Haven't had our shipment from scenic niagra falls.

LIFERA: Don't eat that.

VENDOR: But you can eat it.

VENDOR: Carnival food is pure food, son.

VENDOR: Good... pure... food.

ERIDAN: -Nah thanks. He shoots this fucker and his funnel cake.-

VENDOR: -!

VENDOR: -Frying dough pours out of the hole in his head.-

VENDOR: FOOL!

VENDOR: -Pulls out both fry baskets, brandishing the HOT METAL as the inhuman figure staggers, attempting to LUNGE at him despite his... rapidly spilling vital dough.-

ERIDAN: -pedals backwards with finesse. Pew. Pew. Pat. Pat. Yeah, fine, brandish the hot metal. Eridan is swinging the butt of his rifle to combat this oily fuck.-

VENDOR: -GURGLING AND SCREAMING AS HE COLLAPSES INTO A PUDDLE OF YEAST.-

VENDOR: -DEAD-

[Only the hot grease cart remains.]

QIRIN: ......................

ERIDAN: gross ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: -flicks a lighter on and eyes the hot grease cart.-

QIRIN: =She came back from retrieving the vinyl records because heck, at least it's like throwing knives.= QIRIN: Either they have been altered to a molecular level or they have found a way to make yeast sentient. I am unsure which prospect is the more disturbing.

[It's pretty tricked out, as far as hot grease carts go. It's also full of boiling hot, flammable liquid, which COULD very well be useful.]

ERIDAN: -Damn... true... slowly puts the lighter away.- wwe got ourselvves a bomb

QIRIN: It may very well be the diversion the others require. =She's inspecting the cart further. Does it have wheels for rollin?=

[IT SURE DOES]

QIRIN: =peeps out the tent flap. Anything downhill? Anything important looking that needs burning?=

[Would that be the tent flap back the way they came from, or the next unexplored tent?]

PENNY: ... a bomb?

PENNY: sounds good.

PENNY: what are we blowing?

QIRIN: =the next=

ERIDAN: good question -squints heavily and considers. All of it would be ideal...- somethin thatll draww the majority of wwhos left for a brawwl ERIDAN: that wway provvidin the means to escape for the others ERIDAN: wwhere the shit is that impregnated twwinkie gobbler

[There is something down the way... something that looks... important. Or at least, important enough. She can only get a glimpse, but it's a pretty popular spot, and the flashing light appears to say PRIZES.]

QIRIN: =Well that settles that= QIRIN: The prize booth calls to us. ^_^ QIRIN: Everyone prepared for vandalism and arson?

PENNY: excuse? -stares at Eridan-

ERIDAN: wwell aint she -Really doesn't see anything wrong with his word choice.- you her wward or not

PENNY: yeah maybe. could also be called a twinkie gobbler.

PENNY: prefer Nuthands McMike though.

ERIDAN: -frowns- i disagree she aint done nothin to earn such a title

[WOULD YOU LIKE EVIDENCE ERIDAN]

ERIDAN: -Yeah sure. He's seen worse shit.-

[oh well he doesn't have any actually]

[go back to rigging ur greasebomb]

ERIDAN: -alright. Moves off the unicycle to cover this stupid grease cart with his cape.- wwere the shit wwe takin this

PENNY: -she's talking about herself u fuck-

PENNY: approximately thattaway. -points to where Qirin indicated-

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: oh shit i smell the funnel cake dude

[the voice WAFTS from that direction]

[calling in a siren song]

ERIDAN: -mmm better get this cart moving. Wrings out a hankerchief like BLEH and uses it to get a grip on the handle. Now pushes it along.- ERIDAN: this reeks somethin' awwful

QIRIN: =She smoothly saunters out to the sound of Some Fuckin Juggalo to greet them as the others try workin the cart'=

[It does... like grease, but also some sinister chemicals. And sinister jujus.]

[THE JUGGALO MOSTLY JUST WANTS FUNNEL CAKES.]

[But he is at least blocked from what is to come.]

ERIDAN: -wheels this cart outtie, definitely holding his breath from BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS. Hello prize booth.-

[There's all kinds of prizes on display: Axes, special stardust, clown facepaint. Essentials.]

[Seems like they're paying in blood tokens, which are, in fact, human ears. Probably from people less lucky than the guy they rescued.]

LIFERA: -She's following as well, ready to punch a clown if necessary.-

PENNY: ... -can she grab one of those axes? are there people around??-

[THERE ARE. Lots of people, actually. Trying to get their prizes. Some of them are now trying to get funnel cakes.]

ERIDAN: -The funnel cake cart is TARPED by cape, you idiots. Can you not SEE.-

[THEY CAN SMELL IT YOU BOGARD]

[BOGART?]

[WHATEVER]

QIRIN: Helllllloooo there! =She does block his way, cocking her hip as she greets the juggalo cheerily!= A miraculous evening to you!

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: YEAH POPPIN HOT SHIT NINJETTE WHERES THE DOUGH AT????

PENNY: -aUGH-

QIRIN: Aw man, the line's all clogged up! Some eighth grade history class came for their class trip! Dough guy has gotta feed the next generation, you know what I mean? Ahahahaha!

[The juggalo has NO idea what this fresh pimpin ninjette is going on about. But at least that buys them some room and some time to move the thing.]

RILEY: -she wandered a little too far and got lost... Suddenly panting next to them- holy shit you would not believe-- oh my god what NOW?

ERIDAN: havve at it -whirls the cape off the cart and throws it over Riley.- keep that on wwould you ERIDAN: its durable the kind to ride out lightnin storms through

RILEY: -catches it. Thank you ace reflexes. She puts it on- i'm such a badass.

QIRIN: =are they even done yet? She's waiting for BOOM!= So...while we wait for Boogie Woogie Wu to scare off the tiny children, why do we not exchange pleasantries on this fresh turf?

JUGGALO: :o/

QIRIN: What do you favor? Halls of Illusion or House of Horrors?

JUGGALO: -SLOWLY REATCHING FOR HIS HATCHET-

RILEY: -penny do I need to get my gun-

ERIDAN: -turns his back to riley in a dramatic fashion and arms himself with an assault rifle. All eyes on him, folks.- alright you insatiable GREASE CLOUT FUCKS CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKIN PATH ERIDAN: -and promptly bombkicks the cart and the whole trap of grease into the crowd.-

MOVVE I SAID

QIRIN: Ah, I see you have a hatchet. You should never run with one...unless you're

running with a hatchet,

amirite? QIRIN: ;)

JUGGALO: -oh shit.- JUGGALOS: -OH SHIT-

[They suddenly bolt out of the way of the HOT GREASE CART-

RILEY: -this is suddenly the most exciting shit she's seen in a while. Gun time.- B)

ERIDAN: -taking this time to line gallons of sparkle fish gasoline by the display stands. Marching like the grimest of military marches. They only really have one shot at this. His glasses glint menacingly at the crowd.- STRIDER -bares fangs- ERIDAN: LETS BLOWW THIS TENTED SHITSTAIN OF A FESTIVVAL

QIRIN: =still distracting this one juggalo if he isn't distracted already. She's going to rinse her mouth with salf water after this=

[HE IS DISTRACTED WITH RUNNING FROM THE EMINENT FIRE]

QIRIN: =Awesome.= QIRIN: =she quickly joins everyone else, more than gently urging everyone back. She has a feeling this will be a fireball.=

RILEY: -WHERE IS PENNY SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HER-

ERIDAN: -God damn it, STRIDER.-

ERIDAN: -You're back at being the twwinkie gobbler.-

RILEY: -so....you're saying I was promoted? SHES NOT LEAVIN WITHOUT PENNY-

PENNY: -SHE'S COMING SHIT-

RILEY: -YOU BETTER OR IMGONNA DRAG YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE-

LIFERA: -also just gonna keep distance from this shit-

ERIDAN: -brandishing the assault rifle at the crowd. Now that everything is in order, Eridan whirls on the prize tent and begins peppering the gasoline tanks with gunfire. Hasta la vista you salted juggalo fucks.-

JODIE: - She's been GHOSTING away from the main group in full aggrobat regalia, even throwing in a cartwheel or two. yup she totes mgoats belongs here. she's looking for a get away vehicle of some kind. -

RILEY: -LETS GO-

[THAT IS A KABOOM]

[The prize stand goes up in flames. Clown paint and stardust? Flammable.]

[The gasoline tanks goes up in flames. The tent itself? IT IS ON FIRE YOU BET YOUR ASS]

[The smoke is choking but it's spreading WAY too quick across the whole dang long.]

[lawn]

[whatever]

ERIDAN: - 🔥🔥🔥 -

JODIE: - well it looks like things are going well over there. -

[THAT LONG LAWN.]

QIRIN: =shoving people in the away direction. Forgive her lack of being gentle, but if it's spreading, and people are lagging, she'll resort to hupping em under an arm and toting them away.=

JODIE: - Let's see... something not on fire... not on fire... -

[There is a BEAUTIFUL convertible that-- no wait it's on fire. And it was a raffle prize anyways.]

[Looks like the ice cream truck isn't on fire. Don't eat the ice cream though.]

JODIE: - That'll work. She sneaks up and checks the windows to make sure it's empty. She can't be sure about the back though, she'll need to. open it up. Scurries-

ERIDAN: -holding his goddamn breath in all this. Seadweller skills activate. Fuck, his gills are going to burn something fierce in all this smoke.- ERIDAN: -SHOVING HIS SOLDIERS, GO GO GO GO GO. Messaging Jeff and the others stationed outside the premises. There's no going back to the campus after this.-

LIFERA: -DON'T YOU SHOVE ME BOI-

ERIDAN: -THEN GET IN THE ICE CREAM TRUCK QUEENIE. CHRIST.-

RILEY: -SORRY BOUT THE SMOKE RYAN IM TRYIN OVER HERE-

ERIDAN: -At least she has the cape and won't get burned by ash.-

QIRIN: =Helping Riley in the van. She's preggers with an energy consumer, after all.=

JODIE: -KEYS? IF NOT ROLL TO HOT WIRE. This takes her back to 6th grade. -

RILEY: -thanks qirin you are a gem-

ERIDAN: -balancing himself out in the back, ready to defend with one arm on his rifle. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES.-

LIFERA: -just kinda joins Eridan there, just in case-

PENNY: -hops up front with Jodie- lets get this shit rollin huh??

QIRIN: ^_^

JODIE: -She's managed to get it WORKING. Ice cream truck noises-

ERIDAN: -side eyes the juggalo ex-empress. Has another moment of disconnecting surrealism.-

[Broom broom. She's in her mum's car.]

LIFERA: 38D

JODIE: bet your sweet ass. everybody in? -

RILEY: yeah! floor it!

ERIDAN: -Still remains... the sound of silence...-

JODIE: haha... ha.... - FLOORS IT. TOWARDS THE WHITEHOUSE. This is her life. -

JODIE: - Not the worst thing she's done with an ice cream truck but at least the worst thing she's done on the white house lawn.-

RILEY: -HOLDING ONTO THE NEAREST PERSON FOR BALANCE-

QIRIN: =It's okay, she's sturdy=

[Once the twins and Roxanne are SECURED, the getaway ice cream truck is now Minnesota bound. For everyone's safety, it's best not to hide out anywhere near here... The campus had been evacuated after the concert, anyway. Just to be safe.]

[thelifetimechannel]

KANAYA: It Seems To Me There Should Be Some Sort Of Etiquette Rule About Being Formally Introduced To Someone Before You Are Instructed To Entrust Your Life In Their Hands HALSPRITE: Perhaps, but I wouldn't know much about social decorum. HALSPRITE: And what I do know, I enjoy tastefully disregarding. KANAYA: Can One Disregard Something Tastefully KANAYA: Oh There Goes A Societal More I Will Glance At It Coquettishely As I Pass By KANAYA: Actually That Sounds Like Your Family KANAYA: You Have Been Flirting With The Bounds Of Propriety Since I First Met Your Bloodline KANAYA: I Can Only Assume You Do It On Purpose To Entrance Concerned Passerby Rubbernecking At The Scene Of This Drastic Accident KANAYA: Thats When They Get You HALSPRITE: I'll have you know I have made it my mission in life to cause multiple car pile-ups worth of gawkers staring in fascinated concern. HALSPRITE: Shame. I thought I was the first one to have that idea. KANAYA: No I Spent The First Human Session Waiting With Horrified Anticipation To See What Could Possibly Make Roses Viewport Go Pitch Black And Vanish KANAYA: I Think She Did It To Torment Me Specifically HALSPRITE: My god, it's genetic. HALSPRITE: And she gets it from me. I couldn't be prouder. KANAYA: I Thought You Did Not Contribute Any Genetic Material To This Particular Outcome HALSPRITE: Of course, as an AI, I don't exactly have genes to pass on. Good thing memes are the DNA of the soul. KANAYA: You Will Be Spared Seeing Your Progeny Try To Repopulate Your Entire Race Then HALSPRITE: Yeah, good luck with that. HALSPRITE: Since you're gonna be around awhile, will you be keeping track of birthdays? KANAYA: I Will Not Be Handing Out Wriggling Day Gifts To All Of My Genetic Descendants No KANAYA: They Can Consider Their Existence My Present To Them KANAYA: Besides Ancestors Usually Do Not Check In With Their Offspring KANAYA: The Fact That The Two Are Typically Separated By Millenia Is A Factor HALSPRITE: A gift from on high to your loyal followers. HALSPRITE: If you ever need tips on starting your own religion now that you are a literal goddess, I'm your sprite. KANAYA: Our Species Has Been Burdened By Enough Nonsense Creeds I Think KANAYA: The Last Thing We Need Is More Trolls Imbibing Junk Fluids And Spouting Off The Worst Slam Poetry In Paradox Space HALSPRITE: You know, when you leave out the clowns and murder, you make it sound awesome. KANAYA: I Must Be Describing It Poorly Then KANAYA: It Was Really Stupid HALSPRITE: Sure it was, but by your description? Where heaven is a place where the raps are sick and the Fanta flows free? I'd be down with that clown. KANAYA: If I Point You In The Right Direction Will You Close The Door And Lock It Behind You HALSPRITE: Better yet: I can phase through walls, you don't even have to open the door. KANAYA: Dont Let Me Detain You On Your Quest To Destroy Your Own Thinkpan HALSPRITE: You cannot destroy what does not exist. KANAYA: A Void Hero May Be More Suited To Plumbing Your Depths Here Then KANAYA: They Excel At Nothingness Which Would Presumably Extend To Lack Of A Brain HALSPRITE: Truly, I am a deep and interesting character with many layers. HALSPRITE: Like an ogre. KANAYA: Do These Layers Also Not Exist KANAYA: This Sounds Like The Hypothetical Ricky Schroedinger Dave Was On About KANAYA: Which Apparently Demonstrated Something About The Nature Of Mortality Or Bad Dance Moves HALSPRITE: I mean, I am a quasi-incorporeal being. Perhaps my layers so indeed mostly exist in potential, with equal chance of being there and not being there depending upon the observer. KANAYA: Oh Is That What You Meant KANAYA: I Was Impressed By Your Honesty In Labeling Yourself Intellectually Addled KANAYA: So Many Labor On With The Delusion That No One Can Tell HALSPRITE: I have learned many lessons today on the importance of being honest. It seems a good habit to keep up. KANAYA: It Can Be Useful KANAYA: As Long As You Arent Cruel About It HALSPRITE: Like you agreeing with my seeming statement of dumbassery? KANAYA: No I Just Thought You Were Self Identifying That Way KANAYA: There Was No Values Judgment Attached KANAYA: Karkat Announces His Many Deficiencies Daily Ive Found It Best Just To Nod And Make Soothing Noises KANAYA: Invariably Disagreement Only Makes Him Dig Deeper Into His Position HALSPRITE: This depends on one's definition of a dumbass. HALSPRITE: To paraphrase a quote misattributed to Albert Einstein, "that Hal guy has the literal brain of a supercomputer, but if you judge his intelligence by the social ineptness Dirk saddled him with, he will spend his whole life believing he is a dumbass." KANAYA: Is Albert Einstein Important HALSPRITE: Not especially. KANAYA: I Will Take His Words As Seriously As I Have Taken All The Others In This Conversation Then HALSPRITE: But I'm your communications relay. What if somebody died? HALSPRITE: You could have saved a life with your dual chainsaw wielding action but no, no one takes Hal seriously. KANAYA: I Did That Already KANAYA: You Werent Of Much Assistance HALSPRITE: But that worked out, didn't it? HALSPRITE: You're welcome. KANAYA: Uh Huh KANAYA: I Have A Feeling We Are All Going To Get Along Like A Hiveblock On Fire KANAYA: Authorities Will Have To Be Called And There May Be Casualties HALSPRITE: I have been led to believe that's a sign of a fun antediluvian Friday night.