#i will be updating every week or so i don't wanna burn myself out on this cause its gonna be long

[novelcain]

Isekai'd to the West

You moved to the city in hopes of outrunning your past and starting anew. As it turns out, that’s a little easier said than done. But when a bad day turns worse, you are given the chance to redeem yourself by an unlikely benefactor. Should you except the burden of knowledge, you may be able to earn a second chance at life, but is it worth the hardships that lie ahead? Only time will tell. 

Masterlist

Chapter One

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

I've finally managed to start reading Purple Haze Feedback recently and was hit with a flashback of how shitty Fugo was seen by some people in the fandom(at least people I was around at the time).

Like- yeah, it was kinda disappointing when he left the other instead of also going to go betray the boss, but shit I wouldn't wanna go either! He was still young and had a lot to live, i don't blame him for not wanting to go on a suicide mission!

Also, going in a more fanfic/yandere centered idea here, I always thought it would've been a lot funnier if more authors wrote the Reader also deciding not to join the gang to go defeat the boss instead of just following along

Bruno: We're going to betray the boos, so as soon as you enter this boat, you will be considered a traitor! I won't pressure or force any of you to do it, so enter at your own discretion!

Reader: Wow... that's a very difficult decision ...well, good luck to all of you!

Bruno: Yes ,thank- wait, you're not coming?

Reader, the moment they heard "betray the boss" leave Bruno's mouth:

*

Another idea that always comes to mind when talking about Fugo is the fact that at first, he was going to be a spy amd would betray the gang (If i remember it correctly).

I always thought it would be an interesting concept to have Reader working for Diavolo since the beginning (bonus points for angst if the gang ends up finding THAT out in the worst moment possible lol)

Reader, messaging Diavolo every few minutes to update him on the gang's behavior:

(Narancia probably just got stabbed by Fugo for the third time this week)

Note to self : be careful to not burn myself out on answering asks next time. Took the week off, just because I was that stuck. It’s good advice in general for anyone else that has a blog here 👍

It’s a rather tall order to ask some sixteen year old teenager to casually betray the whole mafia and specifically the most powerful man on top who they have never met before. I’d like to think Fugo was thinking over every unknown they weren’t guaranteed to find out. Let alone if they even had a chance to even fight at all. I never personally blamed the dude for peacing out personally.

So being Yandere I could absolutely see him do just about everything to get you to hesitate to go with Bruno and the others. He’d bend over backwards to do so, especially if you were hesitant yourself. Like sure there’s a chance you and the others by some miracle could defeat the boss, but depending on how he utilizes his organization and stand users against you, it would get ugly real quick. He even insists it’s just not worth getting hurt/killed over.

It’s likely his selfish desire to keep you to himself talking but he won’t back down in trying to keep you there with him. I always felt like Fugo could make a very compelling argument too, it’s almost scary how convincing he’d likely be. (That’s if you were unsure which way to go, if you didn’t want to go with Bruno and the others I’m certain it’d be much easier for him to take advantage of)

Spy! Reader with a Yandere Diavolo would be fantastic, almost scary in a horror sense. As you can easily doom the gang with your extra intel and knowledge with hanging out with all of them. Not to mention any calls or eventually bumping into Doppio would lead to some very interesting interactions. I can already hear the “dearest y/n” at some point once you succeed on sabotaging the Bucciarati gang.

[iamamikcals]

🎀INTRODUCTION🎀

Hey babes ! I am iamamikcals, 🔄51 years old, she/her, french 🥖🇨🇵.

My hobbies are listening to music, watching kdramas, watching my fav YouTubers, counting calories, restricting and working out 'till I pass out (kidding...or am I 🤨).

My "weightloss journey" story :

I remember that the first time I ever got into weight loss was back in middle school. I wanted to be skinny and sh!t and it worked pretty well because I reached 49kg REALLY quickly. Back then restricting was very easy because 1. I was always keeping myself distracted that sometimes I was forgetting that I had to eat (doing my homework, I was always at school, couldn't go and eat outside, ect...) And 2. I didn't know what those m0therfuck!ng calories were... That's why I wasn't stressing about how much I was eating and I was losing at least 1kg per day (I miss the old days 😩😞🙏🏾). Unfortunately my sister caught my quite unhealthy eating habits and forced me to eat and gain all the weight that I lost. Now I wanna get back on track and lose it 'till I see my f*cking bones, 'till I feel like I'm going to faint every time I stand up, 'till I fit in every clothes, 'till I hear those "you are too skinny", "you should eat more" or "you look sick" every time I step outside of my house. But now that I know what calories are and that I don't have anything to keep me distracted because I don't like anything anymore it is way harder than before...but I'll do it. I lost all my personality now that I'm back on my weight loss. I don't like studying anymore, now I only dance to burn the calories, going out with my friends is scary because I know d@mn well that we are gonna eat and the only thought of going to school is stressing me out like crazy, school is scaring me, it makes me wanna kms just by hearing any words related to it and I don't know why...I only go there because it makes starving easier (even tho I can't do a single week at school without skipping a day or two). I can't even talk to my friends because the only thing that I have in mind are calories, what am I gonna eat and why am I so fat. My personality is all about my weight loss now, I hate and love it at the same time. It makes me feel so sad but I only feel alive when I see the number go down the next morning. So i told myself "If I can't be smart then I will be skinny and pretty" because that's the only thing that I know will make me feel like I'm worth it.

Thanks for reading it 💓. I hope you will like this account I will update on my weight loss every day. If you wanna be friends tell me it will be a honour 🩷🎀

°~`iamamickals.

[torasteals]

The End Of Tora Steals Things: A GW2 Fan Comic/Novel

Hey! So with the end of Amulet Of Bolli having gone up on Dec. 23rd, 2023, it's time to talk bout something I've been putting off for awhile now.

You read the title, let's get into it: The End Of Tora Steals Things.

Amulet Of Bolli is the last story I will make for Tora Steals Things. That's it. There's no more. It's ending there as I move forward with Apocalypse Child (which launched on Dec. 21st at apocalypsechildcomic.com!).

So why is it ending?

Those of you who've watched my streams probably already knew this as I've been talking about it ending for awhile now. Hell, many of you may have figured out it was singing its swan song when I first announced Apocalypse Child, or changed the update schedule to once every two weeks, or changed it to a webnovel format... Many of you probably knew it was dying before I was willing to admit it myself.

Truthfully, I have roughly 16 or so stories left for Tora Steals Things, and I really wanted to make them all. TST means a lot to me: it taught me how to make comics and it brought me joy during some of the hardest moments of my life. I'm honestly so touched that so many people read and enjoyed it over the years. You guys made it worth it, you really did.

However, TST has long lived past its due date, and this last story proved that to me. Amulet Of Bolli Part Two took six months to write--six months where I had no time to edit past a first draft, could not build a decent buffer, and had no time to work on writing for Apoclaypse Child. Did it take less time than it would have as a comic? Yes, absolutely, but it still took far more time and energy than what it's currently worth. It exhausted me to my limit to make.

I don't know what else to say, really--I burned out on TST years ago but just kept pushing. I'm sad I couldn't complete it the way I wanted to, sure, but I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally allow myself to stop working on it.

For those last 16-ish stories, they're now available in written summaries as bonus material for the deluxe edition of the third and final e-book for Tora Steals Things. I hope that will satisfy those of you curious over where the story was gonna go, had I kept making it.

On that note, the last e-book collecting the last of the comics and prose for TST is out and available for purchase: Volume 3--Contract Complete which you can pick up here.

What's next?

As my focus moves onto Apocalypse Child, the Patreon for Tora Steals Things has been made to re-focus on that as well. I'm still keeping all the previous rewards for TST available on that Patreon. In the future, time-willing, I may collect those rewards to sell in digital bundles alongside the e-books so that those of you interested in just the Tora Steals Things sketch pages, scripts, thumbnails, and so forth, can just buy it instead of signing up for the Patreon. I'm also considering doing a live Q&A stream for the ending of TST near the end of the month. Might not do it. Depends on interest, really.

If this is something that interests you, I'll be sure to update this space or my twitter (@GriffinSBNorth) if and when anything happens.

All that said, I wanna just like, thank those of you who read my work all this time. Tora Steals Things was always a bit out there as a fan project and it means the world to me that so many of you loved my hot mess of a plant thief and all his friends.

Really, truly, thank you.

And please, feel free to ask me questions if you have any.

[johnslittlespoon]

just spammed the bestie about 100 times on discord with brainrot... am i back?? am i so back?? i'm sitting UP i'm BRAINROTTING i'm having LUCID THOUGHTS i'm not hacking my LUNGS UP

it may be time to crack open the dog coded fic but fuck me i'm gonna have to reread the whole 6k word draft doc to refresh myself after a week of not touching it lmaoaoo but oh my god i have so many things i wanna do at once y'all don't understand i've been legit losing it laying here doing nothing not having energy to put my thoughts anywhere it's my nightmare scenario and this is proof

i giggle every time i think ab that msg. anyway. fuck i have thoughts for so many asks i wanna get back to, i've got like 10 edit ideas, i wanna turn that buckbucky service top!john drabble i did into a full oneshot for ao3, i have so many incoherent brainrot related things i've scribbled into my notes for future not–brainfogged me to decipher (and it is now future me's problem)... how am i meant to be normal i feel like i've gotta make up for lost time HSDKL burns self out in 10 minutes flat

thx for being patient w me while i've been sick as a dog jfc i'm ticked off at how long i'm gonna go btwn updates w yad(iym) since i couldn't touch it for the better part of a week but oh i am ready to yap my face off and get back to ch4 <33 i missed never shutting the fuck up so much !

[karizard-ao3]

HI HI HELLO KAR!!! OH MY GOD I JUST FINISHED CLUELESS TEENS (it was like 1 or 2 weeks ago 😭) and i said I'm gonna pour my heart out in this long ass appreciation message right after but life got in the way, fucking uni. ANYWAY 😭 ITS 2AM AND I FINALLY GOT TIME AND I MIGHT FORGET TO DO THIS (i won't, it's gonna eat me up).

I AM KIND OF, SO GLAD THAT I READ THIS FIC NOW THAT IT'S FINISHED BUT NGL I ALSO KINDA WANNA EXPERIENCE THE ONCE-TWICE A WEEK UPDATES. But oh my god idk where to begin. THIS IS CANON CASTE AU FOR ME OKAY!!!! THIS WAS IT!!! literally every chapter i say to myself good god isayama pls pls contact kar to get ideas for the spin-off (I'm like 89% sure we're gonna get caste au I KNOW IT) I love it I love it so much, the miscommunication, slow burn, IT WAS SATISFYINGLY FRUSTRATING I FUCKING LOVE IT AHAHA i love every part of this fic and i miss them already. And tbh it was such a worthy break from smut. This saved me from going crazy okay do u understand. I WANNA HUG THEM. ALSO, i don't really comment a lot on each chapter bc tbh i don't want to sour my mood when i see comments that just you know. It happens a lot, idrk if you had some negative comments on that but seeing some of ur notes i guess there were some. BUT SEE. I GOT TO ENJOY ALLL THE WAY. AND OH BY THE WAY. THE DOODLES WERE THE CHERRY ON TOP. Okay honestly I'm running out of things to say. I JUST WANNA SAY YOU'RE A GENIUS. SOME OF THE LINES, THE PLOT OF SOME CHAPTERS, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE COULD EVER COME UP WITH THAT. THAT'S ALL I GUESS HAHWH U R AMAZING

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I had so much fun writing Clueless Teens and it always makes me smile when I hear other people had fun reading it.

I would watch the hell out of a school castes anime, no lie. I hope we get it!

I did start getting some hate towards the end. I think it was just one or two people with too much time on their hands, but they were spamming the fic with hate comments over a period of several days and even tried to reset my password a couple times??? I deleted most of the comments and now I keep comment moderation turned on, which seems to be a deterrent. It was not a good time.

Anyway, I am so happy you liked the fic and thank you for this ask!

[clairethecutepup]

Weekly Update: 4/3/2023 - 4/9/2023

Happy Easter, everyone!

Anyhow, I don't think I managed to get as much done during my "down" week, as I hoped to... I think a main reason had to be the concept of "burn out," but I think my new "30 min per activity" rule should help with that. I mean, it's harder for my brain to get furious about a drawing not being finished yet, or failing to think up a next part to write, if I give it a break before that point.

Speaking of writing, you may have noticed I'm starting to submit these "practice writing" posts. After all, writing is the major backbone of ANY entertainment: pretty pictures only get you so far in comics, stunning and beautiful animation alone is more eye-candy than anything of actual substance... I think the only exception to that rule are games, but that's because the main point of a game is to be played than simply viewed; although, many people would agree that a good story, on top of great gameplay, makes for an even better product. So, I guess my point still stands.

Anyhow, if I'm gonna make entertainment myself, I gotta get into the habit of decent writing, at the very least. Of course, "practice makes perfect," especially if people have an opportunity to speed up the process by flat-out stating where you're falling short. Plus, it may give others something they may find nice to read, so bonus points there. So yeah, don't feel afraid to say if something needs a touch-up here and there, as I can tell the difference between: "This writing sucks," and, "You're hopeless as a writer!" Trust me, you're only going to be deflected if nothing about your message seems constructive, like it's meant more to insult or doesn't offer actual advice.

Also, is it me, or does this new "Tumblr Livestream" thing seem more... Perverted than anything? Like, every time I see an icon, someone's showing a lot of skin or appearing "provocative" in other means. It wouldn't be so bad, if Tumblr allowed me to hide livestream icons for MORE than 7 days, like permanently; but apparently, I gotta look at tits and pecs, every time I wanna log in... Please, this is Tumblr, not Tinder.

Anyhow, that's all I've got for now, so see you later. Tschüß!

[babymetaldoll]

"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)

My gif 😉

Requested: Yes

Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.

Warnings: Cursing

Category: Fluff

Word count: 4,5K

A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!

Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.

That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.

- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.

- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.

He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.

- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.

- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.

- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"

- "Hey. I'm..."

- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.

- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.

- "Yeah."

- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?

- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"

- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.

- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.

- "Who are you guys talking about?"

Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.

- "No one"- I lied and looked away.

- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.

- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."

- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."

- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.

- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.

- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."

Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.

- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."

I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.

- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.

- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.

- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."

- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.

- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.

- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.

- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.

- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.

- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.

- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.

- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.

- "I didn't want to think of that!"

- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."

- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."

- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.

- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."

- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.

- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."

- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.

- "That's how good it was."

The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.

- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."

- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.

- "Why not?"

- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.

- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.

- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"

- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."

His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.

He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?

Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.

- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.

- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.

- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."

- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."

And Spencer just snorted at my words.

- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.

- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.

- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."

- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."

I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.

But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.

I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.

- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.

- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.

- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.

- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"

- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."

- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.

- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.

Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.

I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?

I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.

I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.

Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.

But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.

Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.

I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.

But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.

It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.

- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.

- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.

- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"

I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.

- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.

- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.

- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."

Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.

- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.

- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.

- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"

- "I didn't mean to."

- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."

I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.

- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.

- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.

- "I was wrong..."

- "Why did you do it?"

I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.

But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.

- "I did it because I am in love with you."

Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.

- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.

- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."

There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.

I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.

Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.

I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.

My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.

- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.

- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."

- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.

- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.

- "Me too."

That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.

But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.

- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."

- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.

- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.

- "I'm so sorry..."

But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.

I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.

- "Come here."

I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.

I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.

It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.

- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.

- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.

- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.

- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.

- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.

- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.

- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.

- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.

- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.

- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.

- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.

- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.

- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.

- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."

- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."

- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.

- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.

- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.

- "You are adorable when you ramble."

- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled

- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.

- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."

- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."

- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.

- "Anything for you."

**

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego

[halleymacleod666]

So update on how it's been going cause I have posted updates on tumblr in a while.

So after I reached my lowest weight in the summer, after summer was over I managed to gain like 10kgs in a few months. I started binging and I couldn't stop, like I've been starving and then binging for years now but it always changes, like I'll starve for a week and that will make me binge and so on... and I've been stuck in that cycle for 5 years. I never had a long period of starving (few weeks usually) and I have never had a long period of binging either (usually about a week at most) but after summer I just started craving junk food so so so bad and I couldn't stop myself from eating it, gained 5kg in a month and another 5 the next month. For the first time in 5 years I gave up on starving completely, like I just ate what I wanted when I wanted and there weren't many healthy choices, I didn't make myself throw up or burn any of the calories off and I didn't tell myself I'll starve tomorrow to make up for it, I just didn't care, I was depressed as fuck, I was sick of trying and I just kept on eating. And then I had reached my highest weight ever, my highest weight used to be 77kg, now it was 78kg. I was at such a low point, I am pretty tall so that was like normal weight per BMI although it might have been slightly overweight.

Anyway, recently (8 days ago) I decided it's time for a change, like I can't live like that anymore, almost none of my jeans fit and I feel absolutely disgusting in my skin, my belly has always been flat but it got so bloated and it even collected a layer of fat, so that had to change asap.

So yeah 8 days ago I started a diet, today I weighed in at 74.7kg so I lost a bit over 3kgs. I started a 30 day challenge where I eat no more than 1500kcals and if I eat more I have to make up for it some other day. It's not starving. The calories are a lot more than what I ate in the past while starving. I do want to starve so bad, I want this weight off of me, I wanna be so fucking thin, but what I want more is to keep the weight I lose off. I always fucking gain it back when I starve. I gain back more than I lost. So I'm eating healthy food, a lot of vegetables and I'm working out and I refuse to regain any more weight ever. I'm gonna stick to this until my weight loss slows down then I'll cut the calories more. But my main priority right now is losing weight and not gaining it back ever again. I haven't binged in a while, I didn't have the need to because before I started my diet I would it whatever I wanted and now I'm eating really healthy foods so I'm satisfied and don't crave junk food.

I've been trying to lose weight fast for years and years, it never works permanently, the puking doesn't work, the overexercising doesn't work, the 500kcal a day doesn't work. None of it will last. It took me a while to learn but I think I need to let go of the idea od fast weight loss and complete starvation and just count my calories but eat a higher amount. I know there will be days when I'll be tempted to overeat and I'll do it willingly in order to avoid binging but I'll also likely make up for it another day by fasting. But no more all or nothing mentality. Like that "I'm gonna eat nothing or everything" is what ruined me, it's perfectionism that's killing me. "I already fucked up so I might as well fuck up more" and shit like that is what ruined me. There is no "I'll start tomorrow" anymore. I'm done with all of that. If I realized this before and didn't tell myself every other day "okay you can eat all of this now but tomorrow we eat nothing" I'd already be super skinny. I sabotaged myself.

Trust me guys if you have this type of "restrict/binge" eating d1sorder just fucking stop doing that to yourself. You will gain more weight if you keep telling yourself "just one more day of eating like that and then I'll starve for a week". Yes you'll lose weight but you will gain it just as quickly. I have 5 years of experience with this. When my eating d1sorder started I was 16yo and 65kg. And 5 years later I managed to gain 12kg. Don't repeat my mistakes. I still want to be really thin but that is not the way, it got me nowhere, I ruined my body, I will fix it tho. As long as it takes. So what if it will take me a few months longer to reach my goal, if I keep going like I have been then in 5 years I still won't be at my goal. So better to get to 58kg in 6 months than to be at 75kg in 5 years. Quick results aren't always good. I understand you want to lose weight as soon as possible I do too. But I promise you, unless you have a typical restrictive disorder (without binging) then you will be much better off doing it slower

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 5

▪️for parts 1-4, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, angst (?)

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends✨i hope you all are doing well:)) just a friendly reminder to eat something today and stay hydrated 💕 as always, my inbox is open for anything and everything so feel free to reach out:) and the taglist for this fic is still open if you’d like to join✨ okay, enjoy xx

•

Five: best friends

“Okay do you have all your bags?” You asked. Bokuto nodded, holding a backpack and small suitcase.

“Yes Y/N.”

“And your phone? And your pillow, because I know you hate hotel ones. And-“

“Y/N calm down you’re going into ’mom mode’,” said Kuroo. You rolled your eyes.

“I just wanna make sure he has a good trip.”

“Akaashi will take care of him, don't worry,” smiled Kuroo.

“Do you not want me to have a good trip?” pouted Oikawa. You put your arm around him and smiled.

“Oikawa, I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t come back.” You joked.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled, pushing you away. You laughed and ruffled his hair.

“I love you both okay, now get out of here, Iwa and Akaashi are probably already outside,” you smiled. The four of you gathered for a group hug. Oikawa was off to his mini getaway with Iwa and Bokuto was joining Akaashi for his writers conference. The apartment would be just you and Kuroo.

“Hey, Y/N,” called Bokuto. He pulled you aside and whispered something in your ear.

“Remember what I told you.”

You sighed, remembering well what Bokuto had told you those days ago. You nodded.

“Farewell my lovely apartment! You two better not burn the place down while I’m gone,” said Oikawa.

“No promises,” smiled Kuroo. He pushed Oikawa out the door as Bokuto followed.

“Bye you two, we love you!” You cheered. Kuroo shut the door behind Oikawa and Bokuto, leaving you alone with him.

“You act like they’re never coming back,” laughed Kuroo.

“Not my fault I’ll miss them. I don’t remember the last time I went more than a week without them,” you explained. Kuroo nodded.

“Wanna grab some food after class?” Asked Kuroo. Your face felt warm.

“Uh yeah that sounds good.” You and Kuroo both had a lecture together today for your marketing course.

“Just give me 10 minutes and we can head to class,” you said. Kuroo nodded. You went inside your room and saw that Oikawa had left something on your bed. You picked it up and it read: “I suggest you use this before it expires”. You turned the card over, and saw that it was a coupon for 10% off a purchase at Party City. You groaned and threw the card away.

“Dickhead,” you mumbled.

“Who, me?” said Kuroo. You jumped.

“Kuroo oh my god you have to stop sneaking up on me like that,” you ordered. Kuroo laughed and sat down on your bed.

“Hurry up I don’t wanna be late.” You sighed and grabbed your jacket and shoes from your closet and slipped them on.

“Fine then let’s go.”

~

You and Kuroo walked a couple blocks to campus. Your lecture hall wasn’t too far away.

“A 3 hour lecture never gets easier,” you sighed. Kuroo patted your shoulder.

“Come on Y/N, don’t you just love getting all that knowledge thrown at you.” You rolled your eyes.

“Marketing is boring, even a nerd like you could agree,” you joked.

“Okay fair,” smiled Kuroo. The two of you reached the lecture hall and took a seat next to each other.

“Hi Kuroo! Mind if I sit here?” a voice said. You turned to see a girl standing next to Kuroo.

“Oh Calie, hi, yeah sure,” said Kuroo. The girl joyfully sat down next to Kuroo, causing you to clench your fists.

“Uh Calie, this is my friend Y/N, Y/N this is Calie, we have organic chemistry together,” explained Kuroo. The girl flashed you a dazzling smile. Great, she's pretty and smart. You shook her hand firmly.

“Wait aren’t you guys roommates too? That must be so fun living with someone like Kuroo,” giggled Calie. You gave her a sarcastic smile. I already hate this bitch.

“Yeah we’ve been friends forever so I definitely get my fair share of Kuroo.”

“Well you’re probably so sick of him, mind if I borrow him after the lecture?” She asked. Calie wrapped her hand around Kuroo’s bicep. You had to stop yourself from beating the shit out of her.

“Well actually-“ you began.

“Sure that sounds fun. You don’t mind right, Y/N?” said Kuroo. Is he being serious right now?

“So I’m supposed to grab dinner by myself?” You whispered, without thinking. Kuroo’s eyes widened. Calie gasped.

“You can come with us! I’d hate to leave you all alone,” She smiled.

“Yeah come with us,” said Kuroo.

“No no it’s fine, you two have fun. I’d rather be alone anyway,” you muttered. Before Kuroo could reply, your professor had walked in and began his lecture.

~

Your lecture felt longer than normal. Probably because all you could focus on was Calie’s giggles as she whispered with Kuroo throughout the whole 3 hours. Kuroo was always good with the ladies. His confident nature caused girls to be drawn towards him. Yes, you liked him too but you liked all of him, not just the surface level of Kuroo.

You tried to contain your annoyance with Calie and Kuroo. It was obvious she was flirting with him.

“See you next week,” said your professor as he wrapped up his lecture. You got up from your seat and began packing up your things. You didn’t look at Kuroo and headed right out the door.

You began walking back to your apartment when you heard Kuroo call after you.

“Wait Y/N-chan!” You turned around to face him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang with me and Calie? She’s really nice once you get to know her,” he said. You almost rolled your eyes.

“No it’s fine. I promised I’d FaceTime Oikawa now anyway,” you lied. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

“Well if you say so. I’ll grab dinner with you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah sure. Make sure you have your key to the apartment or else I’m locking you out,” you said. Kuroo laughed and nodded.

“Bye Y/N!” cheered Calie. You gave her a wave and watched as Kuroo ran back towards her.

-

You walked back to your apartment, upset. Kuroo had every right to hang out with other girls but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It was just another reminder that Kuroo might not share the same feelings as you.

The apartment felt weird being so empty. All dark and quiet. You threw your keys on the counter and plopped onto the couch. You checked your phone and saw a plethora of texts from Oikawa.

i've been in the car FOREVER -sent 5:35pm

my legs are cramping -sent 5:40pm

do you think if i asked Iwa to stop for a bathroom break he would be mad? -sent 5:41pm

bc we just stopped 30 minutes ago and i said i didn’t need to go -sent 5:43pm

but now i do -sent 5:47pm

update: he stopped for me🤩 -sent 6:01pm

y/n answer me -sent 6:37pm

im bored -sent 6:38pm

you better be buying that maid costume -sent 6:40pm

that coupon expires soon -sent 6:41pm

btw bokuto forgot his pillow but he told me not to tell you -sent 6:52pm

oops -sent 6:52pm

wyd -sent 7:03pm

You laughed at your phone. Good to see you weren’t the only one missing your friends.

well im currently sitting alone in the apartment as kuroo ditched me for some girl -sent 7:15pm

HE DID WHAT -sent 7:18pm

maybe im being dramatic but he’s kinda on a date with some girl from his organic chemistry class -sent 7:19pm

i bet she’s ugly -sent 7:19pm

no she’s gorgeous -sent 7:20pm

fuck

well

im gonna beat his ass

how dare he -sent 7:20pm

it’s fine

maybe it’s better im alone rn anyway

gives me time to get over him -sent 7:21pm

come on hun

don’t say that

don’t give up -sent 7:25pm

idk toru

i feel like it’s never gonna happen

especially when he could have someone like her -sent 7:27pm

bokuto said it best: kuroo would be stupid not to like you -sent 7:28pm

i guess he’s stupid then -sent 7:30pm

:(((

okay Iwa and I got to our hotel but I’ll talk to you later okay love? -sent 7:33pm

okay

bye shittykawa -sent 7:34pm

why do you hurt me? -sent 7:35

You set your phone down and checked in the kitchen for anything worth eating. You weren’t in the mood to go out anymore.

Rice. We have rice. Well, rice it is.

You took out the rice cooker and began to prepare your sad dinner.

Why didn’t I just go with them?

As the rice cooked, you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. You put on ‘Gilmore Girls’, wishing your friends were there to watch it with you.

~

It was late. Close to 11pm. Kuroo still wasn’t home. You laid on the couch, basking in your loneliness. A little dramatic yes but you hated being without your friends. It was a weird concept that they had friends beside you.

You heard keys jingle outside the door and you felt a wave of comfort come over you, knowing it had to be Kuroo. You got up from the couch and peaked at the door.

“I was starting to wonder what happened to you…” your voice trailed off when you saw that Kuroo wasn’t alone.

“Hey Y/N! Oh my gosh your apartment is so cute!” said Calie. Your jaw dropped and you looked over at Kuroo.

Your expression had to be screaming: “are you fucking kidding me right now!?”

“Oh uh thanks,” you muttered.

“Is it cool if Calie stays for a bit? Her roommates are having people over and she doesn’t know them too well,” explained Kuroo. Hmm I wonder what that’s like.

“You don’t have to ask me, it’s your apartment too,” you said plainly. Kuroo raised a brow.

“Just checking…”

Calie walked around your small apartment, admiring all the decorations that you had up.

“Aw isn’t this the cutest photo!” She said. She picked up a picture of you and Kuroo. It was when you had gotten dressed up together to take graduation pictures. Your smile was the brightest it’s ever been. Holding your diploma as Kuroo wrapped his arm around you. In the background of the photo you could see a faint image of Oikawa and Bokuto.

“Yeah I love that picture,” Kuroo smiled. Kuroo took the photo from Calie’s hand and looked at it.

“Best friends, right?” He looked at you. Your heart sank.

“Yup, best friends,” you whispered with a dull smile. Kuroo smiled and showed Calie to his room. You tried not to react. You walked over to your room, locked the door, and curled up onto your bed.

Is best friends all we are ever gonna be?

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @tetsoleil @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway @answer-the-sirens @simpletype @ysatrap @stinkybitch1919 @bokutory ]

[imaseawitch]

Let's start with the part you don't wanna hear. I'm in a bit of a financial pickle and I could use some help over the next few weeks. Even if you just want to reblog this post, that would be great. Any small thing helps!

Venmo @andicarreon128

Paypal @andicarreon

Now, if you'd like more details, here goes.

TL;DR: I tried to unionize my fellow bartenders in Texas and I lost my job in the shadiest way possible right after.

At the job where I was working, we had a tip pool and all of our earnings went into the tip pool and got divided up based on your position. Bussers are 6 points, food runners 8 points, and servers and bartenders each got 10 points. They never really explained it well.

The issue is that they were working the bartenders way harder than the servers. We would stay later, have way more cleaning/stocking duties, we were responsible for all cash transations as well as depositing the bank, we had a 21 seat bar, and then they started expecting us to take a section of tables the same size as the server. Plus of course we were making all the drinks, and not just alcohol. We didn't have a soda fountain. Every soda, tea, espresso, latte, cappuccino, and even every cup of ice came from the bar. It was ridiculously overwhelming.

So, I got frustrated and sent them an email saying I would give them two weeks notice and they could transfer me to server or accept my resignation. The manager on duty that night assured me that they would accept my transfer. She admitted to me that the bartenders have more responsibilities for the same pay, but that's just how it is. I had the next few days off but when I came back, that manager and another manager sat me down and asked me to explain why I wanted to transfer. I explained that the bartender duties were overwhelming and if I can get the same pay as a server, then I would both bring in more money and be happier. They verbally accepted the transfer. They said the schedule was already made for the upcoming week, but after that they would schedule me as a server. They even thanked me for giving them time to get it worked out.

But then all the other bartenders, my friends as well as coworkers, were still in this shitty position. Everyone was still bitching about the same issues, and it was getting worse instead of better. I told them about how quickly they were willing to transfer me to keep me on the team. I suggested we write something up to ask to be treated more fairly. All but one bartender agreed to sign their name to it. I sent it from my email, but signed the names in alphabetical order.

The managers freaked out about our letter. We didn't threaren anything. We simply stated that the work is overwhelming and that we get ignored when we bring up our complaints. We requested to be paid a base hourly rate of $7.25/hr in addition to our cut of the tip pool, as compensation for the additional duties (without taking money from our coworkers). We also addressed a couple of health and safety issues that we had reported a few times before that had been ignored. (The placement of the coffee machine right next to the POS system, which a bartender already burned her face on, and the rickety and inadequate glassware storage that has dropped wineglasses on several customers because it's wobbly and very difficult to reach.)

We were scheduled without any notice (the schedule just updated in the app) for a meeting at 9:30 on a Saturday. They didn't even tell us about it as a group. The manager casually mentioned it to myself and the other bartender on duty as we were closing on Friday. With the exception of one bartender who had requested the day off for a family event months before, every bartender showed up, including the one who wasn't willing to sign their name to the original email.

We were met by the store director (our bosses' boss's boss), an HR rep, and the director of restaurants (our boss's boss). We were asked to explain why we sent the email. We all participated, explaining how conditions were unfair and occasionally unsafe.

The store director said he would spend more time observing the bar for our restaurant. He said he'd work with the bartenders to make the work "feel more equitable" but he wasn't going to pay us more. So I asked, "How does it work if I'm there an hour later than the servers, cleaning or depositing the bank [which is sometimes a huge problem]? Do I take money from their tips for the extra work I do after close?" And that's when we got hit with the really bad news.

The store director explained to us that there is a 6 hour cap for how much you can earn out of the tip pool. Our shifts are minimum 7 hours long. Weekend closing shifts can exceed 9 hours. But we stop earning more after 6 hours. The servers who get cut early and leave before close make the same as us. We were absolutely shocked. The tension in the room was electric. And then the store director told us we make way too much money to complain. He told us he'd worked management jobs where he didn't make as much as we do.

After that meeting, we all agreed to wait two weeks, see what changes, before we complain further. They moved the espresso machine over, which is actually very helpful, but other than that everything is the same.

So, that meeting was on Saturday morning. I worked Saturday night, Sunday night, and then I came in for my scheduled shift on Monday night. Monday should have been my first day of being a server instead of a bartender. As soon as I got there my manager said, "Oh, they want to talk to you in HR." And walked me down to the HR office. I knew what was happening right away, although I thought I was getting fired.

I have 0 history of misconduct with the company. I haven't had any write ups or verbal warninga about anything. In fact (not to brag) I'm possibly their best employee. I have knowledge and experience beyond what some of my managers have, and I do my job well every day.

It turns out they were accepting my resignation. Even though they already said they were accepting my transfer. They told me to turn in my keycard and go home. They would pay me hourly for today's shift, for my trouble. They told me that they'd already filled my position as bartender and that they aren't hiring anywhere else in the store so they can't transfer me.

They very much are hiring. I see their posts online while I search for new jobs. And not only have they not filled my position, they've actually fired one more bartender (the one who had requested off the day of the meeting) since I left. Because they are accepting my resignation rather than terminating me, they don't have to pay me unemployment. They also did it with less than a week left of the calendar month, so I only had that time to take advantage of my expiring health benefits.

I'm also supposed to move at the end of the month, so that's going to eat all of my savings. I already started a new position at the restaurant where my husband works, but it's only part time, plus there will be a lapse in my paychecks. I'm still searching for another job to try to make up the difference.

So yeah. I'm still active in the group chat with all my former coworkers which is how I know nothing has changed. This company really sucks. I know really feel very optimistic about getting away from them. But the short term financial issues are real.

[tswaney17]

so I maybe found IDBTWY (i hope i put the letters in the right order my brain is so slow HAHAHAHA) on ao3 and binged all of it (+ the prequels) last night and WOW😩🥵🤩🥰!! It was beyond amazing! You are an incredible writer and the whole story was so engaging and well balanced (the angst:fluff ratio 😤👌🥵) and I COULD NOT STOP READING PLEASE IT WAS SO GOOD??? This should not be allowed I am not okay and how dare you release something THIS GOOD😩🥰!!!! You are SO TALENTED I love this story sm please I can’t believe you’re letting us read this for free TYSM☺️💛. Something about Elriel AUs just hits different and this one >>>>?? NEXT LEVEL! I loved it so much please I just wanna reread immediately but I will wait until I have enough time to reread here and give you the praise and appreciation and hype that you deserve because this story is INCREDIBLE. Truly. I AM OFFICIALLY A (n even bigger) TSWANEY17 STAN😌😌💛💛!! Because I remember you def also wrote Across the Hallway which is ✨burned into my head✨ because I’ve read it so many times I’m not even sorry😌😌😌. Definitely my comfort story too, everything about it is so warm🥰🥰 (except for that very smutty chapter😈)!!! As you can tell I’m definitely not the writer here🤣. But I hope I managed to convey at least a little bit of my gratitude and appreciation for you and your writing🥰🥰. You’re amazing and I think IDBTWY has dethroned and replaced Across the Hallway as my fav Elriel fic because I am HOOKED😌😩😭!! TYSM for writing it and I’m so glad I found it💛💛💛

P.S. No pressure at all, but I was just wondering if you had a schedule for updates? Just so I remember when to pop back but all good if not🥰)

P.P.S. I was already convinced the story was CHEFS KISS TOP NOTCH but then you made Cassian and Elain sing Exile🥺🥺. A Taylor Swift stan and your name is Taylor too I am crying!!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Oh my god...

This is... I just... 🥺🥺🥺

I have no words for how incredibly wonderful it felt to read this. I'm totally not going to be able to express myself well enough for you to understand how much my heart swelled to get this.

LITERAL TEARS IN MY EYES!!! 😭😭

I feel like I say this all the time, but I never expected to get the kind of reaction I have over this fic. Here I was, just a random newbie to the writing world (at least for public consumption), and to get the amount of amazing and responsive feedback I've gotten has just been astronomical to me. You are the reason I push myself to continue and improve my writing. I seriously cannot say thank you enough, but truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Across the Hallway was my first baby. It was this random idea that I just needed to get out and when I look back on it (knowing that it needs A TON of edits), I can't help but smile at how far I've come. IDBTWY has been an absolute joy to write (yes, even when everyone yells at me to just make them kiss and to stop hurting them 😈).

I can't say I blame you for letting IDBTWY dethrone ATH, because, in my heart, it has too. I don't usually give myself kudos or talk about things I've done that make me proud, but this fic is one of the proudest things I've ever accomplished (-ish, since it's not done yet).

As for a schedule, I tend to post every other week - but I'm not always successful. Life gets busy, ya-know? For notifications, you can always subscribe to my fic blog (I only reblog snippets and actual fics, nothing else so it's not obnoxious), @tswaney17fics. Or you can subscribe to my ao3 account as well. Those will probably be the best options for keeping up with my posts.

I am a HUGE TSwift fan! I had the idea of Elain and Cash singing Exile together for months before that part came out. It just hit me as Elriel, especially in this fic. But more ironically, my last name also begins with "Sw", so we're almost the same person… 😬 (A girl can dream right??)

Anyways, this answer has become ridiculously long, so to summarize, THANK YOU x1000000000000000000! It truly meant everything to read this. 💙💚💜

[doodle-doodie-doo]

UPDATE ON THIS BTW (I think you should read if you wanna learn something from someone whos been going to therapy for 5 years: I think It's pretty obvious right off the bat that I am no Christian, I have basically been this way my entire life-- I have never really had a connection with no Jesus or god, and I probably never will, so ask, why I go? epically in the deep conservative south where these Christian beliefs are way far from my understanding and harmful in my personal opinion. Well, I started going at a young age due my grandparents putting me in, and I thought it was so cool that I was FINALLY getting help, I didn't have the nerve to say that I didn't want to go--I don't blame myself for that either, I was just finally excited to get some help. Before I get started, I should of course state I am no professional, I just have a lot of experience, so if my statements don't apply to you, feel free not to agree with me. Ive had three therapists in the span of 5 years, though the last one I had was sweet and a great lady to talk to, all of them has had some sort of negative impact on me one way or another, either that be one of them states they believe gays do burn in hell (Yes I am so serious this happened) or feel like they are shaming the sexual you, you belong in a place were you feel save and belonged (the point of talk therapy is to be completely honest anyways) so though these people were nice, sweet, and kind. It was not my place, I had to leave, At this point I have been out of talking therapy for a while, and I've actually found out I've been fine without it, I will talk about why talking therapy might not be for everyone: Though you could argue that I got "bad luck" and though I did in some ways, I feel like talking to someone once a week can also have negative impacts in a way because, for me, every time I went I had to talk about negatives and spill them all out, so every week I had to either think of something bad to talk about or bring up my past traumas which brings me back up in the past and that's the last thing I need. They're really needed when you are at a low point in life but if you are on the correct path....then I think that's up to you, to me, there's noting stronger than letting go. And if you are in my situation, or feel like you are helpless and have to talk to someone but the only therapy that's provided around you is SUPER conservative like mine, I say that choice is up to yours and whatever your mind and body currently needs. For my newest update; when I went to this new place they basically told me that there was nothing wrong with me, no serious or depression or anxiety or anything, and yes, I understand how in a way that can sound raging, everyone needs help in their own ways, I am doing so much better than ever, and I get what they were saying, you can't truly understand what someone is going through until you look inside their homes, answering a set of questions won't do much, and every therapist is different, and excuse my language, but some of them are FUCKING AWFUL. (of course now my mental state is gonna change since Boon-kaa died but you know)

New therapy place here I come (goodbye Christian counseling lmao) for my first walk in….at 6 in the morning