#i will be making a bad decision (texting my ‘ex’) and sleeping on it in case he does respond

[giyuulatte]

my phone just died in the middle of me reading i’m so devastated and embarrassed

[monzabee]

bad idea right? – ln4

masterlist

Summary: The one where seeing Lando tonight is a bad idea, right?

Pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of breakups and also fighting, cursing, kind of a toxic relationship?, allusion to smut, it's criminal how long it took me to finish this fic

Request: this wasn’t requested, but the idea is veeery loosely from this tiktok right here! (i might def write the scenario in the tiktok in the future though)

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! it has officially been a month since i started my master's programme and i have to say it is absolutely kicking my ass, but thank you all for bearing with me while i adjust! this song has been stuck in my head for the last two-three (?) months and i really wanted to write a fic based on it. i also wanted to say that i've received all of your guys' requests, and i'm working on those, but it's harder for me to get out a request than a fic that just popped in my head because i tend to be more of a perfectionist with those - so, those are definitely on the way, don't worry! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

It’s not that you don’t like spending time with your brother and his girlfriend – because you do, but considering the fact that spending a mere hour with them causes you to suddenly question your life choices (of being single), you are very eager to leave them alone for the night. Which brings us to the current situation, with you standing in front of your brother’s apartment complex in one of the hoodies you stole from the sample boxes, waiting for someone you should’ve never hit up in the first place. It was probably not your brightest idea to message Lando to ask him if he wants to go for a ride, especially because a) the last time you saw him a year ago the two of you were yelling and throwing things at each other and b) you’re definitely buzzed from the bottle of wine you hogged upstairs. But you know what they say; absence makes the heart go fonder, right?

So there you are with your phone in your hand, texting Lily in hopes of getting the tiniest bit of reassurance about your decision.

To lily m: i texted lando To lily m: he’s gonna pick me up From lily m: WHAT? NO To lily m: seeing him tonight To lily m: it’s a bad idea, right? From lily m: YES From lily m: DO NOT GET INTO THAT CAR To lily m: yes i know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?

Fuck it, it’s fine, you decide as you quickly delete the last two messages. With a soft sigh, you wrap your arms around yourself to shield yourself from the cold air of the night. And while you could just wait for Lando inside the apartment building, you really don’t want to attract more attention to yourself. You can feel yourself getting more and more nervous as the minutes pass by, and you even contemplate cancelling the whole thing and going upstairs to sleep. Just as you’re about to give up on the whole thing, a car honk grabs your attention. When turn to look at the source of the sound, you see Lando’s unamused face through the open window.

He motions you to get in with his head, his voice as equally detached as he calls out, “Get in.”

Rolling your eyes at his behaviour, you do as your told. But you tell yourself that it’s not because he told you to, but because you’re cold. And so you get in the car making sure you slam the door as hard as you can, which makes him scowl as a small smile forms on your lips. “You know, you could really try on being more polite.”

“I’m picking you up in the middle of the night,” he points out as he puts the car on drive and starts driving off, “and put your damn seatbelt on.”

You give him a sideway glance as you put on your seatbelt, letting out a sigh, “Are you okay? I’m sensing some serious undertone.”  

Lando doesn’t answer you, mainly because he is smarter than he looks and he knows you’re trying to goad him into another fight. That’s what the two of you had always done, not that he hated you or vice versa, but the two of you mainly got along in fights which ended up in both of you twisted between the sheets of the whatever hotel you were currently staying in. And it had worked for a while, until of course it didn’t, and Lando was mature enough to admit that he had a huge role in fucking up your relationship.

“You changed your car,” you point out.

“Thought you’d appreciate a roof over your head this time,” he replies.

The car is silent as Lando drives down the now empty streets of Monte Carlo, and you find yourself involuntarily checking out his side profile because well, he always looked so good while driving. You suppose it’s only one of the things that didn’t change with time.

“So,” his voice draws you out from your thoughts, “why’d you call me tonight? Are you drunk?”

“I am not drunk,” you scoff, crossing your arms across your chest, “if you don’t feel like being here Lando, I can just get off and go home.”

“Now I didn’t say that, I simply asked a question.” He steals another glance at you, but this time a little smirk forms on his lips when your eyes meet and he sees your scowl. “It was a harmless question, really.”

Your voice comes off as clipped as you answer, “I’m not drunk.”

“Your cheeks are red,” Lando points out but the playfulness from mere seconds ago is gone, in fact, he’s more serious than you’ve probably ever seen him, “you either had wine or your rosacea is acting up.”

It takes a moment for you to take in his words, and there is no humour in his voice or on his face when you look at him to see whether he’s joking or not. “I had some wine,” you confess, voice much lower than before as you add, “but I’m not drunk.” One of his eyebrows rise up, and you find yourself mumbling, “Fine maybe a little bit, but not a lot.”

His jaw ticks as he mumbles, “Okay, whatever you say.” And as you try to assess whether his voice is cold or not, you see his hands tightening around the steering wheel.

“What?” You ask, a bit quicker than necessary (in your opinion), “What did I say?”

Now it’s his turn for his voice to be clipped, and his eyebrows furrow as he asks, “Did you only call me because you’re drunk?”

“No,” your reply is truthful to some extent, you suppose, you would’ve texted him even if you had no alcohol in your system. “I wanted to see you.”

He lets out a hum, “Why?”

It’s a hard question, and you contemplate not being a hundred percent honest – but deep down you know he deserves better, even if you had your differences. So, to reveal the truth, you turn your face away from him to look outside the window, “I missed you.”

He doesn’t say anything, and you don’t turn to see what his reaction will be. Everything is peaceful for a moment.

He takes you to a hill, the very one he took you for your first date. Though, it doesn’t carry the same excitement this time around. The two of you remain in the car with the windows rolled down, but the colder air doesn’t make you chilly. It’s silent, but it’s not an uncomfortable one. Neither of you make the first move to start a conversation, and you don’t know if that’s because you’re both obstinate or he doesn’t want to be there. Though, you suspect he would’ve told you ‘no’ if he didn’t want to be there – not that he could ever tell you ‘no’.

It's unnaturally hard, you realise, not looking at him on purpose when he’s seated so close to you. Especially because you haven’t seen him in months. Not that you’d confess that to him, or let yourself have another weak moment where you say you missed him. Because you can’t. Because it’s not the way the two of you operate. Because he broke your heart but you’re not strong enough to let him go. With that last thought, you take a sharp breath, undo your seatbelt and get out of the car. You lean against the hood of the car and he soon follows suit. But where your hands are splayed behind your back, his arms are crossed over his chest.

“You’ve not been sleeping.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Because he is not dumb (or blind enough) to let the circles under your eyes slide.

And it’s a statement that might be true. You only give him half of a shrug, “So?”

“It means that something is bothering you.” You’re about to object, but he quickly shuts you down, “I once drove you around for four hours so you could sleep in my car, honey,” his fingers move to gently turn your chin towards him so he can look into your eyes, “and that was because you forgot to bring me back junk food from Australia.”

Even if you’re taken aback by his physical touch, you don’t show it as you stubbornly maintain your eye contact. “It’s the jet lag, I haven’t travelled in a while.” You gulp down a breath as you gently push his hand away, “And don’t call me that.”

“Why?” He turns his body to face you, “You’re just as sweet, aren’t you?”

“Lando,” you warn him, “don’t.”

He raises a brow, “Why not?”

“Because we’re friends,” your response comes off in an instant, “I only see you as a friend.” The biggest lie you’ve ever said.

“Friends,” he repeats, tests out the word, then shrugs, “sure. Now tell me what happened tonight that made you call me. Did you and Daniel fight?”

“What?” an involuntary laugh leaves your lips, and you catch the corner of his lips turning upwards just the smallest bit. “No, we didn’t, it’s not about Daniel. Can we just not talk about it, please?”

He gives you a firm nod, and you catch his grimace as he turns his attention back to the view in front of you. “You can tell me, you know,” he mumbles, “you used to.”

He’s right, you realise. You used to tell him all the little thought that popped into your head, whether it was nice or not, and he’d accommodated your thoughts. It was easier to talk to him, once upon a time, and you’re not really sure why it hurts so much right now that you can’t.

“Why do you care?” The question comes out quickly, and your voice is not as strong as you’d like it to be. “After everything, why do you care?”

“We’re friends, right?” The words tastes unbelievably sour in his mouth, and he has to restrain himself from making any sort of face, but it seems harder than it actually is for him to do and he questions whether it is worth it to

“Friends,” this time it’s your turn to test out the word, and it tastes as bitter as they come, “sure, can we ride around a bit more?”

“Fine,” he gives you a nod and motions you to get in the car, “but I have to get gas first.”

The fluorescent lighting of the gas station is definitely not the most flattering thing. So much so that you’re sure the unflattering light outside is exaggerating the bags under your eyes. But that situation of course doesn’t apply to Lando because even under the harsh lighting, he looks too pretty. And compared to earlier in the night, you don’t try to hide the way your eyes focus on him while he’s driving, though you hope you do a much better job at hiding the thoughts that come to your mind. Even after he’s parked the car in the nearest pump, you find yourself staring at his side profile a bit too long, which earns you a sideway smirk and you try your hardest not to react, but the smile you keep trying to fight is too strong and eventually you find yourself with the tiniest smile playing on your lips.

Lando turns towards you, meets your eyes and leans over the console, “Do you want anything from the shop?”

You blink once, trying to come up with anything, twice, then “Can you get me those gummy bears that I like?”

He gives you another nod, reaches into his pocket and then hand you his phone. Ignoring your questioning stare, he explains, “So that you can play music or something, the password is still the same.” Before he gets out of the car, he does the unexpected and leans in just a little bit more to press a feather-light kiss to your temple.

You watch him get out of the car and walk away from you with your mouth slightly hanging open. You contemplate trying to unlock the phone, because why would he tell you that his password is the same? And why would he trust you with his phone when the two of you have been broken up for over a year? With shaky hands, your fingers put in the password, calling Lando’s bluff. Oh shit, you think when the phone unlocks, now what? Throwing the phone out of your hands onto the driver seat, you grab your own and quickly type a new message to Kika, who of course got the news from Lily and has been blowing up your phone, while ignoring her dozen other messages who went unread in your text thread.

To kika: this was a bad idea kika Tokika: a very *very* bad idea From kika: please tell me you’re going home To kika: um… To kika: sure From kika: GET OUT OF THAT CAR AND GET YOUR ASS HOME From kika: NOW!!

Chewing on your lower lip, your eyes linger on the messages spamming your phone, and you contemplate just getting out of the car and trying to find your way back home. But you also can’t help yourself but think… what’s the worst that could happen if you stayed? Clicking the button on the side of your phone, you place it face down on your lap after making sure you silence it for the rest of the night. With the reminder of the abandoned phone on the seat next to yours, you open your window to let some of the night air in. As your phone keeps buzzing on your lap, your eyes focus on the figure that comes out of the convenience store – and by some grace of God, he doesn’t realise the way your eyes basically undress him as he approaches his McLaren.

There’s no smile on his face, in fact, if you didn’t know Lando, you’d say he looks like an asshole; not that he occasionally doesn’t act like one. He gives you that boyish smirk when he’s next to your window, signalling you to roll it down by tapping on it twice. Lando leans against the car, his eyes locked onto yours. “Got your gummy bears,” he says, holding up the package and handing it to you once you roll it down. “It was the last one too, you’re lucky.”

Giving a tight lipped smile to the man looking expectantly at you, you accept the packet of gummy bears. “Thank you, Lando,” the softening look in his eyes is, ironically, strong enough for you to choke on the next words that are on the tip of your tongue. “I–”

“I’m sorry to bother you, are you Lando Norris?” A third voice interrupts you, and you find yourself moving your gaze from Lando to the woman who’s excitedly waiting for a response.

“Yes,” he breathes out, and you can tell he’s trying to keep his voice polite but he’s also very annoyed at the same time – though the way he eyes up the stranger definitely makes your blood boil.

With his attention on the woman, you find yourself feel the tension in the air and quickly look down at the packet of gummy bears in your hands. You start absentmindedly picking at the wrapper, your mind racing with a mixture of emotions. As the conversation between Lando and the fan continues, you steal glances at them from the corner of your eye. She's gushing about a recent race, talking animatedly about the thrilling moments she witnessed. Lando, for his part, is gracious and engaged, taking the time to listen and respond. And despite the polite exchange, you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. It's a reminder of the world he's a part of, a world where fans approach him with admiration and excitement. A world you used to share, but now only observe from the sidelines.

You watch the woman place her hand on Lando’s bicep, laughing at a (rather mediocre) joke he made about the understeer of the car. It’s not a funny joke by any means, and you are not scared to admit that the woman’s laugh that fills your ears makes your insides twist uncomfortably. You remind yourself that you're here by choice. You could have left at any moment. But there's something about this night, about being with Lando again, that you can't quite let go of. It's a confusing mix of nostalgia and longing, wrapped in a blanket of uncertainty.

The woman’s voice hits your ears as you hear her ask, “Do you want to come back to my place?”

Without letting them both know that you’re actively listening into their conversation, you attempt to subtly let out a warning cough, but Lando covertly smirks as he leans towards the car with his hand grabbing the lowered window – without caring about the possible finger prints he might leave behind, might you add. Without any hesitation, you let your fingers go of the packaging to thread your fingers with his.

While his thumb gently starts to draw circles on the knuckle of your thumb, he does his best to supress the chuckle building up in his throat. “That’s, um, very kind – but I’m with my girl, you see, and we are both pretty tired.”

Maybe you would’ve given her a friendly smile over a misunderstanding if you were in a better mood, but as the woman looks at you with wild eyes, all you can offer her is an annoyed pout, and soon after she leaves after apologising to you both for interrupting your plans. You watch her leave until there is a good enough distance for her to not hear you, and then turn to Lando and give him a glare as you hiss, “I am not ‘your girl’.”

He finally lets out the chuckle he’s been holding as he watches you letting go of his hand with an exaggerated push, and then diverts his amused eyes towards you, “Sure, whatever you say, jealous girl.”

“I am not– I wasn’t jealous!” you exclaim, eyes narrowed. When he starts walking towards the driver’s side, you can’t help but call out, “I’m not jealous!”

Lando is still chuckling to himself when he gets in the car, and even as he starts driving, completely ignoring your whining complaints. “That’s alright, honey,” he says, voice full of condescension, “it was very cute.”

“You are an ass.” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms across your chest. “Maybe I should’ve gotten off when I had the chance, that way you could’ve fucked her in the back seat.”

“Bold of you assume she’s the one I’d want to fuck in my back seat,” he raises an eyebrow, then shrugs “but sure.”

Your face scrunches up in disgust, “You’re, ugh, you’re just the worst, Lando.” Shaking your head in disbelief, you add, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with you over you fucking girls in your car.”

Lando manages to get out a disapproving tut, and then contends, “I never said I’d fuck girls in my car, I’d said I’d rather fuck you in my car.”

Completely baffled by this revelation, not that you should’ve been, you turn to him in disgust, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He shrugs again, noncommittally, and without paying you any mind continues to focus on the road.

“Well,” you laugh, breathlessly, “good thing that’s never happening.” Gently clearing your throat, you later can’t help yourself but add a silent, “Again.”

“If you’d rather a bed, that could also be arranged, honey.” Lando assures you, and you realise the little fucker has a smirk growing on his face.

“As if I’d sleep with you willingly,” you scoff.

A boisterous laugh is what you get from Lando, who tilts his head towards you, “Come on, I’m a good-looking bloke.”

“And I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter man,” you sing, but you just can’t remember when. So deciding to block out what Lando is rambling about, you pull out your phone to message someone who has the answer for you.

To lily m + kika: can you tell me someone who is hotter than lando? From lily m: alex From kika: pierre To lily m + kika: ew, be serious please From kika: what about the guy with the accent, from hungary? From lily m: the doctor? To lily m + kika: i think she meant the reporter From lily m: god no he was a creep From lily m: what about the surfer? From kika: oh yeah he was cute too To lily m + kika: i need someone hot, pleaseee From lily m: THE MODEL FROM MILAN From kika: WITH THE ABS From kika: and also porche From lily m: BUT ALSO THE ABS To lily m + kika: okay thanks To lily m + kika: love you guys

Getting lost in the conversation, with the aid of your ambition to prove yourself right and, naturally, Lando wrong, you don’t realise that he’s actually driven you back to his apartment instead of a bar or literally some other place that sells alcohol in that ungodly hour.

“This isn’t a bar.” You point out, eyebrows furrowed.

Lando dignifies your comment with a scoff, “Well aren’t you quite the detective?”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you basically hiss at him this time, “This is basically kidnapping.”

Lando glances at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “Kidnapping? Really? I thought we were just catching up.”

You shoot him a sarcastic look, but can't help the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Yeah, sure. Catching up in the middle of the night at your place.”

He parks the car and turns to face you, a smirk dancing on his lips. “Well, here’s my proposal. I’ll go to my apartment and you’re free to either join me or drive my car back to Daniel’s – I’ll come pick it up tomorrow.”

You hesitate for a moment, considering your options as you watch Lando give you an assuring smile and handing you the keys before getting out of the car. Going back to your brother's place doesn't sound all that appealing, and Lando's offer, as questionable and a bad idea as it may be, seems like the lesser of two evils. Though, there is also the reality that if when you go up to his apartment, you’re probably going to do something that either you or your friends will regret tomorrow morning. Watching Lando’s retreating figure move further into the apartment building, you think, fuck it, it’s fine.

So, you wait for a few minutes, anxiously twirling the car keys in your hand to make him wait – but you’re pretty sure it makes you suffer just as much. You take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and then climb out of the car. Locking it behind you, you follow Lando into the building. The familiar scent of his cologne hits you as you step into the elevator, and a wave of nostalgia washes over you. The elevator ride going up to the second floor is pure torture, and it leaves you squirming in your place the whole time. Basically throwing yourself out of the elevator once it lands on the second floor, you realise that Lando has been waiting for you, standing and smiling at his door.

He gives you a teasing look as you approach, clearly amused by your slightly dishevelled state. “Took you long enough,” he remarks, unlocking the door and holding it open for you. But instead of saying anything or retorting back, you quietly follow him inside his apartment. Lando closes the door behind you, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment. The dim lighting casts a soft glow, creating an intimate atmosphere. The first thing that catches your eye is the helmet collection he keeps in the living room. Without saying anything, you quickly make your way over to the shelves that display the helmets, trying your best to avoid his approaching footsteps behind you. The familiar design of a particular helmet has you instinctively tracing the number at the top, and the arms that hug your waist from behind makes you freeze for a moment. Lando's touch is both familiar and foreign, stirring up a mix of emotions you thought were long buried.

“That's from Monza, 2021,” he says, his voice close to your ear. The warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine.

You clear your throat, attempting to regain composure. “I remember,” you reply, your fingers still lingering on the helmet.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The weight of the past and the uncertainty of the present hangs in the air. Lando breaks the silence, his voice low and measured. “I wasn't sure you'd actually come up.”

You turn to face him, meeting his gaze, but don’t attempt getting out of his arms. “I didn't think so either.”

Without breaking eye contact, he slowly leans in, his lips brushing against yours. It's a tentative touch, a testing of waters, and you find yourself responding to the familiarity of the kiss. The taste of the past lingers, and for a moment, it's as if the years haven't passed. But reality crashes back in, and you pull away, the distance now a necessary boundary. Lando looks at you, a mix of emotions playing on his face. There's longing, regret, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the complexities that bind you.

“I thought we could just catch up,” he says, his tone a mix of apology and yearning.

You turn in your place, facing him. “Catching up was never our strong suit, was it?”

“Not really,” Lando shakes his head, “no.”

You bite down on the corner of your lip, threading your fingers through his curls as you pull his face down to meet yours as you rise on your tiptoes, “It’s a bad idea, right?”

Lando lets out a supportive hum as he lets his lips softly brush against yours, “The worst.” And maybe he should have been the gentleman and pull away, but when he sees your eyes closing, he just leans in further to press his lips against yours – and the way you respond to his kiss? It's as if the world outside ceases to exist. The kiss deepens, each brush of his lips against yours reigniting a long-buried flame. Lando's hands find their way to the small of your back, pulling you closer, erasing the physical space between you.

You don’t complain as he pulls you towards his bedroom, or when he gently throws you on his bed, the anticipation hanging thick in the air. As he hovers over you, the weight of the past and the intensity of the present converge. His hands trace the contours of your face, memorizing every curve as if committing it to memory. And when the two of you get lost between each other within his sheets, the only thing that ends up coming from your mouth is either his name, or some sort of encouragement to keep him going. After he manages to wear you out, Lando decides that you’re definitely not going anywhere as he wraps you in his arms around you. The room is filled with the soft sounds of breaths syncing, hearts beating in tandem. Lando's fingers draw absent patterns on your skin while you check the messages that have accumulated in your phone. The glow of your phone illuminates the dim room, creating a subtle contrast to the warmth that envelops you. Lando's presence beside you adds an extra layer of comfort, a silent acknowledgment of the shared intimacy that unfolded moments ago.

From danny: please tell me you didn’t get kidnapped by the organ mafia From danny: wink twice if you’re alive From danny: this is not funny, where are you? From danny: fine i’ll ask alex to ask lily

Rolling  your eyes before sending him a text to let your brother know you’re okay, you decide to turn your attention to the group chat with Lily and Kika.

From kika: did you get home safe? From lily m: daniel is pretty stressed about it From lily m: please for the love of god tell us you’re home and not with lando right now To lily m + kika: omg just calm down i’m in bed To lily m + kika: and i’m going to sleep To lily m + kika: love you guys

You catch a glimpse of Lando’s grin over your shoulder as you click your phone off, but he only chuckles as he buries his face into your neck as he leaves small kisses to the skin there. “Well, I’m not lying, I just didn’t specify where I was.”

“Or in whose sheets,” his laugher gets louder as you jokingly slap him on the arm, “go to sleep, honey, we’ll be tired in the morning.”

And it might’ve been a bad idea to message him in the first place, but it certainly doesn’t feel like one.

[hunnysahara]

˗ˏˋ 𝒲𝒽𝓎’𝒹 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒪𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝒞𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝑀𝑒 𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒴𝑜𝓊’𝓇𝑒 𝐻𝒾𝑔𝒽? ˎˊ˗

Hamzah x fem!reader

It's harder and harder to get you to listen, more I get through the gears. Incapable of making alright decisions and having bad ideas.

Premise: Your ex friends with benefits calls you in the middle of the night and you know before you answer why he’s ringing you.

CW: cannabis usage / suggestive / crude + sexual language

WC: 2.6k

The soft glow of your phone screen fractures the darkness like a sliver of unwelcome light, casting long shadows across the room. It's the dead of night when the world holds its breath in a hush, yet here you are, wide-eyed, heart knocking gently against your ribs. You had been unpleasantly woken from your sleep by the sound of your phone vibrating itself off your bedside table.

Hamzah's name lingers on your screen. The messages spill one after another, frantic and garbled, like a stream you can't dam—misspelled words, scattered thoughts like he had thrown scrabble tiles together to form texts.

You aren't even able to fully read one message before it's replaced with another. You throw your phone down beside you on your bed, running your hands down your face and grumbling. It had been months since you heard from Hamzah.

The two of you had a very casual friend-with-benefits relationship though you took the initiative to end it when there was a landslide shift and the unceremonious hookups turned into mumbled confessions against your neck. It was too intimate, it breached the contract the two of you initially agreed on.

Though here he was, blowing up your phone like he would die without another word from you.

The phone buzzes again, his caller ID taking over the screen of your phone. You groan, your thumb hovering over the screen, debating whether to answer just to tell him to stop, to leave you alone. Maybe then, maybe if you hear the slur in his voice, the edge of something broken and far away, he'll finally understand that you're not his to call anymore.

The phone lights up again, and this time, you answer.

"Hamzah, stop."

"I knew you'd pick up," His words are thick like velvet, his voice groggy and coarse.

"Why are you calling me?" You ask, voice sharp like a bullet through skin.

"I just wanna hear your voice," On the other end, you can practically hear the smile in his voice. The way the words drowsily fall from his lips brings you to one conclusion.

"You're high?"

"Perchance," He takes a sharp inhale. After a moment of virtual silence, he giggles and coughs eventually settling down "Fine, you caught me. I'm very high."

"What do you want?"

"Why are you being so mean? I just wanted to say hi," There's a hint of playfulness in his voice and you can imagine him sprawled out in bed, hair a mess and glassy eyes half drawn.

Your head throbs as he jumps from one half-finished thought to another, rambling through memories like they're fresh scabs he needs to pick at, unravelling every thread you've tried so hard to tie up neatly. "Maybe I'm being mean because you called me at three AM."

"Yeah, that's kinda annoying," He laughs to himself. His voice filters through the phone, slick with an edge of playfulness that sends a ripple of irritation through you. "It's been too long since I've seen you," Hamzah says, drawing out the word in a lazy, teasing way that always used to make you laugh. But tonight, it feels grating like sand paper against your skull.

"Not long enough." You press the phone tighter to your ear, walking barefoot across the cold floor to the kitchen. The hardwood creaks under your steps, and the cool air feels sharp against your skin.

"Oh, how you hurt me," He adds a tinge of melodrama to his sarcasm.

"Hamzah," you sigh, but he barely gives you a second to speak.

"Did I wake you up?" He pauses to take a breath and you can hear the blunt crackling, and paper shuffling in the background.

"Yeah, you did."

"My bad, my bad-" He coughs again "What are you wearing? Is it that Grateful Dead shirt that hangs off your shoulder?"

You look down at your pyjamas, you were in fact wearing the Grateful Dead that hung off your shoulder and draped past your hips. "No." You lie through your teeth.

"Damn," He mutters before his brain hooks on another ramble "Remember that time—God, you were wearing that little white sundress, you remember?—and we went to that park with the swings? You kept pretending you were too good to be on a swing, but you ended up laughing like a kid when I pushed you too high."

You roll your eyes, frustration simmering beneath the surface. His tone is light, and flirtatious, like he's trying to conjure up a nostalgia that never quite sat right with you. The kitchen light flickers to life as you reach for a glass, the soft hum of the fridge barely audible over his rambling.

"Hamzah," you cut in, more firmly this time, holding the phone between your ear and shoulder as you twist the tap open. The sound of water hitting the glass is oddly soothing, something real and grounded amidst the chaos of his voice. "You're not making any sense."

"No, I think I'm making sense. You just don't wanna admit it." There's a slurred chuckle on the other end. "Come on, don't be like that. I know you're smiling right now. You miss this."

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice, and it makes your skin crawl. You take a sip of water, trying to quench the heat building in your chest. He always does this—twisting every conversation into something flirtatious, something playful.

"I'm not smiling, I’m frowning if anything," you reply flatly, setting the glass down with a little more force than necessary. "And you really need to stop calling me in the middle of the night. This isn't funny."

"But it's not the same during the day," he says with a laugh that feels too close, too familiar. "Night's that thing in that one song- made for saying things you can't say another day," He paraphrases poorly. His voice lowers, taking on that soft, honeyed tone he used to use when he wanted to get his way. 

Your jaw tightens as you lean against the counter, fingers tapping impatiently against the cold surface. He's pushing, and it's infuriating how easily he slips back into this—this game of his, like he can flirt his way out of the chaos he's caused.

"Hamzah, I don't have time for this. You're high. Again."

"And you're still talking to me, aren't you?" he teases, his voice laced with a kind of smug satisfaction. "You didn't have to answer. Y'know there's this magical button on your phone that makes it so I can't message you? I think that you want to talk to me."

The audacity in his tone sends a spark of anger through you, your fingers curling around the edge of the counter. He always knows how to toe the line, to keep you teetering between frustration and the pull of something that's sweet on your tongue but now feels like quicksand.

You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. "Hamzah, I'm not doing this. You need to hang up and sleep this off."

There's a pause, and for a second, you think he's going to listen. But then he chuckles softly, voice dripping with mischief.

"You're so hot when you're mad at me."

You nearly groan aloud, the exhaustion catching up with you in waves. This is pointless. You've been here before, hearing the same lines, feeling the same tired tug of emotions you've long since buried. But there's a part of you—a small, quiet part—that almost misses this, misses the ease with which he used to reel you in. And that's what makes it worse.

"Hamzah," you start, your voice sharper now, "go to sleep. Seriously."

"What if I told you that I really missed you?" He adds like it sweetens the deal. 

"I would tell you that I don't care."

"When did you turn so cold on me?" 

You pause, the phone still pressed against your ear. "Hamzah," you mutter, exasperation thick in your voice. The glass of water in your hand feels heavy, like a tether pulling you back into his orbit, even as you stand there in the dim kitchen, staring out at the quiet darkness outside the window.

"Just hear me out," he says, voice too smooth for someone who's supposed to be slurring. "I think me and you should do something together."

You don't answer, your hand moving on autopilot as you rinse the glass and set it down in the sink. There was always a certain ease between you and Hamzah, but that was before it got complicated, before the lines blurred. You clench your jaw, stepping away from the kitchen and into the hall, eyes scanning the house for some chore to distract you, to keep your mind from wandering back to those nights.

"Come on," he continues, undeterred. "I know you heard me."

You sigh, frustration buzzing beneath your skin, but your feet carry you to the living room where a few stray magazines and an old blanket still sit crumpled on the couch. Might as well tidy up while he babbles. Maybe if you let him talk himself out, he'll fall asleep or something. You grab the blanket, folding it with quick, jerky movements as he keeps talking.

"Can I come over?" He asks abruptly.

"No?" You furrow your eyebrows "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Damn, I really thought that would work."

As you sit down at the kitchen table, leaning your head into your hand, you notice the faint hum of traffic coming through the phone—tires on wet pavement, the distant growl of an engine passing by. Your brow furrows and a flicker of concern sparks through your irritation.

"Where are you, Hamzah?" you ask, voice sharper than you intended. It's late, and the sound of traffic at this hour doesn't fit into the picture of him sprawled out in bed, half-asleep and rambling, like you'd assumed.

"Why do you want to know?"

"So you don't show up at my house."

He chuckles to himself "Why on earth would I do that?"

"Maybe because you're obsessed with me?"

"I'm not- no, yeah. I am obsessed with you." There it was, the confidence that he so lacked when he was sober. With the help of cannabis, his tongue was as loose as his morals.

You press your lips together, gaze flicking toward the window, though the night outside your house is still and quiet, completely unlike the soundscape on the other end of the line. You disregard his admission "So, where are you?"

"I'm... walking. Clearing my head or whatever."

Your chest tightens, frustration mixing with a flicker of something you wish wasn't there—worry. "Walking where?" you press, though part of you already knows he's not going to give you a straight answer.

"Just around. Nowhere dangerous, alright? You don't have to freak out." He tries to sound nonchalant, but there's an edge to his voice that betrays him. 

"Hamzah, you shouldn't be out right now. It's late, and you're—" You pause, choosing your words carefully. "You're not in the best headspace to be wandering around." You're caught between the urge to scream at him or call Martin to pick him up and haul him home.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," he cuts in, that cocky smile returning to his voice. "I'm always fine, babe. You worry too much."

You want to hang up, to cut the thread between you and the mess that is Hamzah, but the thought of him alone, on some random street at this hour, makes it hard to press the button. "Go home," you say softly, barely above a whisper.

"Stay on the phone with me a little longer, alright? I'm almost home anyway," Hamzah pleads, voice taking on that boyish, playful tone you've heard too many times.

You rub your temples, eyes drifting toward the clock on the wall. It's well into the night, and here you are, listening to him stumble through whatever story he's trying to spin. "You always say that," you mutter. "But somehow, you're always ten minutes from home."

"Hey, it's not my fault time slows down when I'm talking to you," he says with a sly grin you can practically hear. "Like, relativity or something. I saw that in the Spider-Verse movie."

You roll your eyes, walking back toward the kitchen to grab another glass of water, your mouth feeling particularly dry. "You would know."

"Didn't we see that together when it came out?" He asks to no answer. "We should watch it again."

"I don't think so," You lean against the counter, cradling your glass as his words wash over you.

"I want to see you, I like the way you laugh," He humbles "That's why I was such a goof around you. I didn't mind embarrassing myself because it made you smile and god- that smile..."

 "I don't really care what you want."

Hamzah lets out a low whistle "And yet, here you are," he shoots back quickly. "Still on the phone. Ah- I got you there."

You lean back against the counter, the weight of his words sinking in. He's right, of course. You're still here, still wrapped up in this bizarre late-night conversation, still listening as he spirals through his endless stream of nonsense. There's an odd comfort in the banter, as much as you hate yourself for it, there's safety in the familiarity.

"Yeah, yeah," you say finally, shaking your head. "You know how to run your mouth. That's about the only thing you're good at."

"Hey, don't forget I'm a man of many talents," Hamzah quips, the humour softening just a little. "And one of them is keeping you on the line way longer than you should be."

"Trust me, I'm very aware," you mutter, though there's a strange warmth behind your words now.

"Yeah, but you still picked up," he says, almost gently this time, his voice losing some of that playful edge. "That's gotta mean something, right?"

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"Do you miss me? Like at all?" He asks, the words falling from his lips with ease "You can be honest." 

You roll your eyes, though there's a slight warmth blooming in your chest despite your irritation. "Please, Hamzah," you deadpan, pacing slowly across the kitchen. "Do you ever stop?"

A knock sounds from your front door, sharp and unexpected. You freeze, turning toward the noise, the sound cutting through the warmth of your late-night banter like a cold breeze. Your heart skips a beat, the suddenness of the interruption making your stomach twist with an uneasy kind of tension. "Hang on," you mutter into the phone, already moving toward the door. "Someone's at my-"

You trail off, eyes narrowing as another knock echoes through the quiet house. Your pulse quickens, a strange feeling creeping up the back of your neck as you grip the phone a little tighter.

As you open the door, the cold air hits you first, followed by the sight of someone standing on your doorstep. Your breath catches for a moment when you see him. There, leaning casually against the doorframe with that signature lazy grin, is Hamzah.

"What the fuck," You draw out. 

"C'mon, don't be like that," Hamzah says, giving you a crooked grin. His phone is still pressed to his ear—well, it is until he lowers it slowly, that playful glint in his eyes growing even more mischievous as he hangs up, ending the call without a word. “So- are you gonna let me in?”

[gyuzgrl]

her //kmg// pt.3 happy ending

summary- as confusions build to an overbearing crescendo, a sudden visit by Mingyu's sister leads to an unplanned encounter with your ex-husband. will seeing him one last time help you make up your mind?

Things can't possibly get any more confusing.

For Mingyu and for you.

While on one hand, he wants to do right by you and let you go, he can't escape the simple fact that he needs you. Long, hard days filled with thoughts of you are his reality now- they have been for the past week or so. Unable to move, to eat, to sleep, Mingyu finds himself at the lowest he's ever been.

And that message- god, he feels so stupid for contacting you when you clearly didn't want to talk. The tiny letters below his text, marked 'read' feel like little needles moving deeper into his heart every time he clicks on your chat.

That isn't to say he resents you, though. It's quite the opposite. Mingyu's time alone has given him the opportunity to grow a newfound hatred for himself, and he spends every waking moment wishing he was someone else. Someone who didn't hurt you.

You, on the other hand, are confused too, but for a different reason altogether. Although you love him, and long to be with him, the question of your self-respect remains. Letting him back in would mean giving the man who cheated on you a second chance, but staying away would mean losing the man you love, over a mistake he regrets making.

As you sit across from your lawyer, hand trembling with the weight of consequence, your thoughts race around like jolts of electricity- flooding your head with doubt.

"...and this is the last of it, so you can jus-" he trails off, noticing your shaken state.

"ma'am?"

Your head snaps up, eyes widening.

"y-um, yes, I'm listening- sorry-" you mumble, swallowing hard as you blink away the tears welling up in your eyes. Thankful for the opaque, white table separating you, you suck in a deep breath, trying to hide your trembling limbs.

"don't be,"

He offers a gentle smile, eyes filled with pity as if to say- 'oh, you poor thing...', and slides one final paper your way.

"here's the last of it- after this, you'll be free for good,"

For good? As in permanently? There's no going back? You look towards the man before you, helpless and confused. Although this is all your own doing, you can't help but feel a pang of doubt at the last leg of your journey.

"so after this we would have officially separated? he'll no longer be my husband?"

From the slight tremble in your voice, your lawyer gathers that something isn't right. It's the same quiver he detected in Mingyu's words a few days back.

He sighs, retracting the final document.

"ma'am, we can do this on another da-"

"no I just-"

"there's no rush, is there? I can tell your mind isn't completely made up just yet, and the last thing I want is for you to make a decision you aren't 100% sure of."

You feel a tear slip down your cheek, dripping onto the papers below. And then another. And another.

The universe can be so unfair, so cruel, sometimes. What twisted satisfaction do the Gods get from watching you suffer like this? Things could've been so good with Mingyu. He could've treated you so well, been the perfect husband, loved you so truly- but no.

They had to come in and ruin it all.

"you can take your time, I'll be at the front desk if you need"

You barely acknowledge his departure, staring blankly at the table as tears blur your vision. It shouldn't be this hard. It really shouldn't. After all, this was your decision- your choice.

Mingyu fucked up. He broke your heart. He's the reason your self esteem is at the lowest it's ever been.

So why...

Why does this feel wrong? Why does it hurt so bad?

Your breaths grow shallow, each inhale speeding up until your heart thuds against your chest. The rapid rise and fall of your shoulders paints a pitiful picture, and you want nothing more than for the Earth to open up and swallow your sorrow.

That night you spent with Mingyu, opened up a world of possibilities- a world of hope- only to have it all come crashing down in an instant. For one night, you got to lay with him, to love him, to be loved by him and that was it. You saw a faint glimmer of hope, that shining light at the end of a long tunnel, but it slipped away just before you could reach out and grasp it.

Reality shook you awake and now here you are- crying in a cold meeting room, all by yourself, wishing none of this ever happened.

It pains you to say it, but the truth is these past few days have been really hard. You've spent hours scrolling through your phone in search of Mingyu's pictures, spent every night forcing yourself to put your phone away only to have him haunt your sleep- you just can't push him away.

All of a sudden, there's a knock at the door. Your head jerks up, eyes making out a petite frame through the translucent glass doors.

"come- come in," you call, rubbing your eyes furiously, "I was just about to leave"

The door creaks open and a familiar face comes into view.

"oh-"

Mingyu's sister.

Minseo's eyes grow watery at your state and she hurries into the room, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"how did you-"

"word travels fast," she interrupts, cradling your face as she stares sympathetically at your puffy, red eyes. "I thought I'd check in on you both, but neither of you has been answering my calls..."

"sorry I-"

"don't be! I just wanted to see if you're doing okay, y'know?"

Her eyes lock onto yours, asking silently- 'you are doing okay, right?' and you can't help the way your gaze falters. She looks so sincere, so apologetic, you don't want to lie to her.

"y/n,"

"I'm fine"

"y/n."

Her voice is firm.

You meet her stare.

"let me buy you something to drink, hm?" she smiles, veiling her concern. "starbucks?"

"I don't go there anymore,"

"someplace else, then."

You nod, offering her a small smile, and you make your way to a coffee shop nearby. As you find a table and place your orders, Minseo's smile falters ever so slightly.

And then she begins to speak.

"I know this is the last thing I should be asking, but um- you haven't- you haven't heard from Mingyu, have you?"

You sigh, shaking your head.

"oh."

The slight quiver in her voice has you on edge, and your fingers itch to reach out and hold her hand. Before you can stop yourself, a hesitant- "why're you asking?" slips past your lips.

"it's been a little over a week... all of us have tried to call or text or- I don't know, we've tried everything- fuck, I even went to his house, but still, there was no response. I'm a little worried, you know?"

Attentively, you nod along, brows furrowing as she goes on to explain further. A few minutes pass, and her story moves from bad to worse. So far, from what you've gathered, it isn't clear where or how he is.

Minseo's eyes begin to glass over, lips quivering as she speaks on.

"I know what he did is wrong, I would hate him too if I was you, but he's-" she cuts herself off with a trembling sob, "he's my brother, my family- and- and I don't know how to fix him, y/n. I don't know what he's doing in that house, I don't know if he's even in there anymore-"

Before you know it, your own eyes begin to water, and she takes in a breath.

"I don't know what to do, y/n"

"listen- Minseo I, I'm the last person he'd want to see right now- I'm not sure what you've got planned but-"

"no- no he loves you don't you get it? he only wants to see you right now. not me, not his friends, certainly not that other girl- just you."

You stay silent.

"I'm asking for a lot, I understand, but he's- I just need to know he's okay. and- and you're the only person he'll let in"

That's how you find yourself here, standing before the doors to your apartment. The familiar frame floods you with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, and you're almost about to turn around when something catches your eye.

Newspapers, bills, letters- all scattered at the foot of the door, unopened, piled upon each other the way you've seen before at abandoned homes.

Tentatively, you press the doorbell, cringing at how the sound seems to pierce through the still air. The sharp twang echoes all throughout the house, like a bullet ricocheting, and your heartbeat quickens.

For about a minute, there's no response- just silence. Maybe this was a bad idea. He probably isn't even h-

"leave me alone, Minseo." a hoarse voice interrupts suddenly, drawing your attention right away.

He's here.

Right behind this door, he's standing, breathing.

"it's um, it's y/n, actuall-"

Before you can finish your sentence, the door swings open, and to your dismay, Mingyu looks like shit.

Standing before you dressed in the same old pajamas, your ex-husband looks a mess. His eyes are so red and swollen you can't tell if he's slept at all. He's lost weight too... The once proud bulk of muscle he sported has drastically reduced to a much slimmer, skinnier figure.

But this all seems like nothing when you notice something held tight within his grasp-

"is that my-"

"no! no- it's uh, it's" he sputters helplessly, stepping back to let you in, "I was jus-just cleaning up! yeah just um, just cleaning,"

Your heart twists. The iron grip he's got on your t-shirt tells you a completely different story, but for now, you let it be. You don't need to dig up his feelings. Not when you haven't sorted your own out.

"how come you're- why are you here?"

"oh uh, m-my stuff? yeah! all my stuff is here and I need it, so..." you lie, looking around the house as you walk to the living room.

It's colder than before, somehow. Haunted. There's not a light or a lamp in sight, no fire burning in the fireplace- just total darkness. Everything is just as you left it too; your mug of coffee is still on the dinner table, Mingyu's briefcase is still set near the couch, the wall clock still hasn't been wound, now telling the tale of the past.

He notices your wandering gaze and suddenly feels conscious. Scratching the back of his neck, Mingyu ushers you quickly to the couch, blocking your view from the side so you don't see the true mess.

The bedroom.

Your bedroom, rather.

Oh, if you saw the state of that room-

Dark, heavy blinds shut off the outside world, a swirl of your clothes and blankets litter the bed, and the air hangs heavy, with spritzes of your perfume clinging to every surface.

The last thing Mingyu wants is for you to see the state of that room.

"could I-"

"have a seat-"

You both start at the same time, turning to each other awkwardly. He let's his gaze linger on yours for a moment too long, and all hell breaks loose. The air of pretense dissipates within seconds. Mingyu's eyes tell you all you need to know.

You're the first to look away, suddenly overwhelmed by the emotion behind his stare. The longing and guilt and hurt etched deep in the universe of his eyes is too much. If you stared any longer, there's no holding either of you back.

"you first," he urges, "you were saying?"

"nothing really, no I uh, I just wanted to get some of my stuff, so if I could just go ins-"

"I'll do it!" he interjects suspiciously, his body going rigid at the thought of you walking into his pathetic little chamber of secrets. "I'll um. tell me what you need"

Unable to catch on, you insist further, telling him- "no! no really I can do it myself, please-"

A few dozen fruitless protests later, you've won.

Somehow.

Mingyu tried his best, although in vain, and now he's got you sitting on the couch as he scrambles to tidy up to the best of his abilities.

But of course, he should have known.

With your level of patience, it was only a matter of minutes before your curiosity got the better of you and led you straight into the bedroom.

"hey, you really don't have to bother so mu-" you start as you walk in, freezing at the door when your eyes glance over what once was your bedroom.

With a bunch of your t-shirts tucked away under his arm and a couple more scattered over his pillows, Mingyu halts his actions, paralysed.

The air is damp and clammy and it stinks of your perfume- strong enough to give you a headache. It feels as if time itself has stilled, as if it hasn't moved past that night you spent together.

Your bra is still in the corner of the room, your slippers are still at the foot of the bed, your pillow still has tear stains at the edge; it's like you were here just yesterday.

"Mingyu..."

He looks guilty. Like a puppy that got caught red handed with it's little snout burried deep inside a can of treats. You hate to say it, but it tugs at your heart a little more than you would've liked.

"I know how this looks-" he starts, still clutching desperately onto your clothes, "but I promise I'm okay." His voice cracks at the end, a slight quiver making it's way through the tough facade he's put up, and you feel your eyes begin to water.

Your eyes glisten with the saddest tears you've shed- the brightest, most sorrowful stars in Mingyu's galaxy- and suddenly, it doesn't matter to him that he's not yours anymore. Taking long, purposeful strides towards you, he closes in, dropping the clothes in his arms and taking hold of your face instead.

"I'm okay." he whispers, cradling your face, "I promise."

The tears begin to fall, one after another, and soon you're sobbing like a lost child. Your face crumples into the most devastating look Mingyu's ever seen, and before long, a heavy drop cascades down his cheek.

He thumbs away your tears continuously, swiping gently at your skin in distress with an expression that reads- 'but why are you crying? baby, please stop crying-'

It's a pathetic picture you two paint, but the moment means more to you than the he would know. All your thoughts of revenge and rage have cooled and now you see things for what they truly are.

He loves you.

He loves you and he knows he's fucked up so he's letting you go, no matter what becomes of him. To give you a shot at finding someone better, someone who won't hurt you like he did.

"please don't cry-" he begs, "I'll stop! okay? I'll clean up and give you your things ba-"

"you idiot"

The quiver in your voice silences him in an instant.

"you- why are you-" your voice gives way, cracking as you choke back a sob, unable to speak further.

Mingyu's lips tremble watching you. This is all his fault. You don't need to see this. You don't need to feel sorry for him. Yet, here you are, crying terribly for the man who hurt you.

Crying for him. After all he's done.

As if he hasn't given you reason enough to cry, Mingyu seems to have managed to add to the list, albeit unintentionally.

"baby-" His thumbs wipe away your tears and he lowers his face towards yours. "baby, please don't cry,"

He looks defeated. Like the last standing soldier, helplessly outnumbered by the enemy. If he felt like an asshole before, this just took the cake. Despite vowing to himself every night to never hurt you again, never make you cry again, here he is.

"c'mere, we'll go outside, okay? don't- don't stay in here"

Dumbly, you let him lead you to the hall, standing beside him as he grabs a tissue from it's holder. With the most gentle touch, Mingyu dabs at your skin, blotting away your tears, unaware of his own.

The proximity between your faces is dangerous. He's too close. While he's focused on wiping away your tears, you're torn between your thoughts.

His lips are right there, a mere inch away from yours. Technically, kissing him would be the easiest thing in the world- afterall, he's right there,- but somehow, he couldn't feel further away.

"did you stay in there this whole time?"

Finally, your voice finds it's way back.

His fingers halt their movements, and his eyes meet yours.

"yeah." he sighs.

There's an immeasurable guilt in his eyes, one that almost forces you to look away.

Almost.

Screaming from within, your mind urges you to draw your eyes back, but your body doesn't yield. It can't, rather. This was a bad decision to begin with- going to see your now ex-husband, when you yourself aren't certain where you stand. Do you still love him? Are you going to be okay without him? Will you be able to forgive him?

Despite being on shaky ground, you decided to come see him, and now, whatever resolve you've managed to build over the past week, comes crashing down.

One thing sticks out to you.

If there's anything that hurts more than a divorce, it's this- seeing the man you love turn into something unrecognizable, seeing him so struck with guilt and grief he barely seems alive.

As if connected by string, your eyes stay on each other's, neither one of you daring to look away. The pull of a strong magnet draws your bodies closer, and he whispers- "I miss you,".

With the gap between your lips closing soon, your eyes flutter shut, lips trembling ever-so-slightly with a mix of anticipation and anxiety.

Mingyu's breath fans over your face, the heat of his body burning softly against yours, and you lean closer, trying to close the gap between you and him, when all of a sudden, that warmth disappears.

Your eyes snap open, widening when you see that he's backed away.

"what ar-"

"we shouldn't-" he gulps, turning away as he steps back, putting safe distance between you and him. "it didn't uh, didn't end too well last time,"

Oh.

Right.

You hang your head, shoulders drooping- "you're right I shouldn't have forc-"

"no! no, I want to kiss you so bad, god I wanna kiss you- I just, let-let's talk first? before rushing into things, I just, y'know, I think we should talk. and- and I need you to be sure that this is what you want"

Your stomach flips hearing him speak.

'god I wanna kiss you'

"just kiss me, please" you whisper, holding back another wave of tears.

"I don't want you to leave again" Mingyu's brows scrunch together, a look of pain painting his features as he reminds you of what happened. Of how you made love only to part the next morning.

"I-"

"we c-"

You interrupt each other once again, growing tense as the air begins to weigh down on you both. There's a stale, heavy feeling clinging to everything, and it smells distinctly of the past.

"I can't lose you again," he says softly, eyes glossing over. "I won't be able to live with myself if I get to feel you again only to let you go in the end"

Here lies the last step, the final decision.

Mingyu's words mark the end of your dilemma- you have to choose now.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you shake your head, trying to stop the free fall of tears- "I'm so confused-"

"you're confused and I've hurt you and I wish I could change things but-" he winces, running his hands through his hair, "but I- no matter how I think about it, I love you. I love you and I've never stopped loving you. If you want to end things here, I understand, okay? I really do. After what I've done- I don't want to be forgiven I just- just please stop hurting"

He pauses, sniffling.

"and if moving on is what you need, if someone else can help you heal, I'll gladly let you go. so stop caring about me, okay? I'll- I'll be fine, I am fine, see?" he laughs through tears, clenching his fists, "just- I want you to be sure of whatever you decide."

"Mingyu..."

"I love you, okay? I really fucking love you and that's why I'll be alright. just show me that you'll be okay, that you'll find someone better-"

"there is no one better you idiot-" you sniffle, stepping towards him slowly, mind miraculously made up. "I'll find a good man, an honest man, a man who doesn't make me cry but I'll know for every second that I breathe, that he isn't you."

The air stills. The sound of cars and people and the city suddenly disappears as if in a vacuum.

Marching towards you, Mingyu closes the distance between you and him, wrapping his arms around your waist as you throw yours over his shoulder. His palms press down on your lower back, fingers splayed, and he burrows his head in the crook of your neck.

"I love you- I love you I love you I love you," he chants, lips pressed against your skin.

A hand slides up to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer still, and your grasp tightens around him.

It's like a scene straight out a movie- like perfect fiction with it's tear-stained confession and reconciliation- and you swear you hear music. The orchestral build, the grand crescendo that plays when two lovers are finally reunited at long last.

There's violins and cellos and harps and rhythm, and it all feels complete. It all feels right.

A tear wets the skin of your neck, and you pull back, gazing intently at Mingyu. He opens his mouth, taking in a sharp breath.

"I've missed you-"

"I missed you too,"

You reach up briefly, standing on your tip-toes, and press a chaste kiss to his lips, smiling sweetly with tears swelling in your eyes.

He clears his throat.

"what's next?"

You shrug, eyeing him mischievously.

"I've just gotten divorced", a humorous smile lights up your face, "don't I need to find myself a handsome young man now?"

Mingyu matches your grin, pecking your lips quickly before saying-

"how 'bout I take you on a date- say, Saturday, 8 o'clock- and we see where it goes?"

"mm, I'd like that very much"

[mayajadewrites]

but does he know?

pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader

rating: explicit, minors dni

summary: levi is your toxic ex boyfriend. you've been dating someone new, jean, who you've been having a great time with. but he's no levi ackerman, which leads to bad decisions.

warnings: toxic af, infidelity (don't try this at home pls), unprotected sex, oral (male & female receiving), slight phone sex

song to listen to while reading: moth to a flame; swedish house mafia with the weeknd

comments + reblogs are always appreciated, they make my entire day actually hehe

ao3

"Goodnight, Jean." You smile as your cheek leans against the glass of your touchscreen. You and your boyfriend, Jean, have been on the phone for 2 hours. You're laying down on your stomach on your bed, legs crossed above your ass.

"Goodnight my angel. See you tomorrow. Can't wait." Jean spoke with a yawn. You can tell he's tired from his long day of work, but he adores talking to you at the end of his day.

You press 'end' and begin to scroll through your photos. You're nowhere near tired - you are somewhat of an insomniac.

Your eyes glaze over the pictures you and Jean took together last weekend, his lips on your cheek as you smile ear to ear.

As you scroll a little farther, your eyes flicker to a photo of you and your ex boyfriend, Levi. You must've forgotten to delete it after you broke up. Your cheeks burned as you looked at the photo - it's one of the many you took when you were intimate with each other.

You're both sat in front of the mirror, you're sitting on his lap as his legs spread on the chair he's on.

Levi's eyes were glued onto your figure, his right hand gripping your thick, plush thigh, his left hand wrapped around the front of your neck. You're holding the phone to take the picture, you're wearing your favorite baby pink lingerie set, that just so happened to also be Levi's favorite.

You close your eyes when you remember how your ass felt against his hard cock against the fabric of his pants.

No, no, no. You can't miss him.

He's the most toxic man you've ever dealt with in your life. You gave 2 years of your life, of yourself to him and for what? For him to tell you he never wanted to get married, never wanted to have kids.

You couldn't hold onto what you wish he was. So, the relationship ended.

A deep sigh left your lips as you scrolled through your contacts, hoping you deleted Levi's number.

Of course you didn't. Because this isn't the first time you've wanted to call Levi late at night.

There he was.

No emoji next to his name like before, no silly nickname.

Simply, Levi.

Your thumb hovered over his name. You knew he was awake. He was always awake when you were.

Are you proud of what you've been doing? Talking behind your boyfriends back to your ex boyfriend? No.

But there's something about Levi that you could not let go of. Every time you spoke to him, you deleted it from your call log and any lingering texts.

1:22 AM.

Calling 📞 ... Levi.

1 ring was all it took.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Levi's voice purred at the other end of the phone.

"Couldn't sleep." You mumbled, sitting up on your bed. You crossed your legs as you spoke.

"You haven't even tried to sleep, have you baby?"

You ignored he pet name. "...Maybe."

"So what can I do to help you sleep, hm?" You heard Levi's chair move, presumably as he sat on it. "Over the phone, at least."

"I just wanted someone to talk to."

"Your boyfriend wasn't available?"

"He went to bed already. He had a long day."

"Poor thing." Sarcasm was leaking from his tone. "Having to have a job and deal with your ass."

"He deals with me just fine, thank you." You turn your head to the side. "If he was here, he would've taken care of me already."

"So why isn't he there? Is it a school night?"

"He's not that much younger than you, Levi."

"You didn't answer my question."

"We just didn't hang out tonight. That's all."

"You used to be at my place every night."

"That's because you and I had an unhealthy attachment to each other. Codependency on my end, at least."

"Your spot on the bed is still there. Sometimes I let my hand wander to that side and feel the contours of the shape your body left."

"L-Levi." You sit up on your bed, feeling a familiar heat rise through your body.

"Say my name again, princess." His voice was husky, you closed your eyes so you could picture his mouth moving. You could almost feel his touch through the phone.

"No. I can't." You bite down on your bottom lip, refusing to give in to the temptation. His voice was so familiar, so warm.

"Hasn't stopped you before, has it?"

You stay silent, squeezing your thighs together in attempt to silence your needy cunt.

"I know she misses me." You heard Levi shift in where he was sitting, presumably spreading his legs.

If your pussy could talk, she'd be screaming at you right about now.

"She misses the way I caress her, the way I devour every last drop, the way I-"

"Enough, Levi." You couldn't take it anymore. You had Jean in your head, he would be so disappointed if he knew you were doing this.

But it's Levi.

Your dainty hand palmed over the fabric of your teeny-tiny shorts, so sensitive you almost moaned at your own touch.

"Sounds like you don't want me to stop. I know you're touching yourself right now."

"Are you?" Your curiosity got the best of you.

"I am. I'm picturing your beautiful hand wrapped around my cock, your lips sucking on the tip the way you always do-" He pulled the phone away from his mouth, grunting as he pumped his own cock.

"L-levi." You pushed your hand inside your shorts, pushing one finger inside your soaked cunt. "I-I need you." You whine as you add another finger.

"I'm right here, baby."

"No. I need you here."

"Give me 10 minutes."

You brush your hair right after you hang up. You look at yourself in the mirror. Is this really you? Are you gonna do this to Jean?

The answer to your question walked through your door.

"You still have a key?" You walked out of your bathroom in your low cut tank top and barely there shorts.

"I made copies, and copies of copies." Your eyes ran up and down Levi's body, he's wearing a (freshly ironed?) black expensive looking sweatsuit, his hair a bit damp. He must've showered quick.

You moved to his half lidded steel grey eyes - which looked like they were drunk off of your figure. You're not skinny, you have meat on you which Levi always appreciated. You had thick thighs that lead to your plush ass, then your soft stomach and supple tits.

You both stared at each other for a few moments, not sure if this is real or not. You took a deep breath in, the scent of his eucalyptus shampoo filling your nostrils.

Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

Your heartbeat was pounding in your ear.

Levi slipped his hands into his pockets, letting you know that the ball is in your court.

Slowly, you take a step toward him and press your hands to his chest. You can feel his muscles through his hoodie, all too familiar to you.

Levi watched as you touched him, almost like it was your first time again. Your nails dragged along his chest to his biceps, to which you gave them a squeeze.

Your eyes met his and it was done.

You pushed yourself upwards towards his lips, claiming his lips as yours once again. Your hands cradled his face as you kissed him, your tongue slowly moving in and out of his mouth.

Levi's large hands finally left his pockets to make home on your hips, one hand wandering to your ass as he kissed you. Almost like his hand never left, he started kneading your asscheek.

The room filled with light moans and sounds of kisses before he trailed kisses down your jawline to your neck.

Dangerous.

But you let him anyways.

He kissed your soft spot gently before taking the skin between his teeth, sucking on the spot to make his mark. Your nails dragged to his scalp, tilting your head to the side as he claimed you as his.

You let your hand wander to the elastic of his sweatpants, feeling the outline of his hard cock against the ironed fabric.

Levi moaned against your neck, freezing for a moment as you touched his clothed cock.

"He missed me, hm?" You purred, using your middle finger and thumb to massage his dick outside his pants.

For once, Levi had nothing smart to say.

You kneeled down onto the floor, pressing your knees to the cold wood. Your doe eyes found his half lidded ones, full of lust. He visibily gulped as your hands pressed against his lips, pulling his pants and underwear down.

His cock sprung free, and god, did you miss this sight. He's so girthy, almost too big for you.

"What were you saying on the phone, Ackerman?" You grabbed his cock with your right hand, letting your thumb graze over the veins on the underside. "You were thinking about my lips wrapped around the tip of your cock?" You moved yourself closer to the fat tip of his cock, pre-cum leaking from the slit.

Levi nodded, pressing his hand to the back of your head gently. His fingertips buried themselves in your wavy hair, massaging your scalp gently. He was always so caring, even when you were sucking the life out of his dick.

You kept your eyes on him as you wrapped your plush lips around his tip, sucking on it gently like a lollipop. A moan escaped his lips at your touch, feeling your tongue swirl around the head and the slit.

"Fuck, baby." He pushed your head gently, wanting you to take more of him. "No one does it like you."

"How many other bitches have you fucked since we broke up?" You flipped your hair to the side, waiting for his response as his dick began to disappear in your mouth. You took as much of him as you could, swirling your tongue around the width of his cock.

"N-none. I haven't even looked at another woman since you." He threw his head back, being a bit more forceful with his hand as you bobbed your head.

"Really?" You moved your mouth to his heavy balls, sucking on them gently as you watched his eyes. His body twitched, he loves when you do that.

"Y-yes. You t-think I could m-move on j-just like that?"

You slid the entirety of his cock into your mouth, the head hitting the back of your throat. You bobbed your head as you sucked on his sensitive flesh. You gagged, which only made Levi want you more.

"I don't want to come on that pretty face." Levi pulled you by your hair to stand up. "Bed. Now."

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you led him to your room, which he's familiar with.

He laid down on his back, pulling his hoodie over his head as he moved. You followed his lead and slid your shorts off, revealing your soaking, aching cunt.

You crawled over to him, pressing your lips to his as you straddled his waist. His hand gripped the back of your neck as he kissed you, pushing you into him.

"Sit on my face." He broke the kiss, laying down on the soft fabric of your comforter.

"What?"

"I'm sure I spoke clearly." He grabbed your thighs roughly, pulling you to his face. You grabbed your headboard with both of your hands as you felt the contours of his face.

"O-oh." You felt him blow air onto your clit, sending shivers down your spine. His mouth wrapped around the sensitive nub as his hands gripped the fat of your ass, sucking you dry.

You looked down at his inky hair, his lashes fluttering against your thighs as he devoured you like he hasn't eaten in a year. His mouth left your clit with w 'pop' as his tongue plunged into your pussy.

Lewd, wet noises filled your bedroom as he pushed your asscheeks toward his face, burying his face inside of you. Once he felt your walls twitching, he pressed the pad of his thumb to your clit to rub gently circles.

"You can't come yet though, princess. I want us to come together." He mumbled against your cunt.

You're about to lose your fucking mind. Your fingertips gripped the headboard as you began gently rocking your hips back and forth on his face, feeling his nose poke your aching clit.

Levi removed himself from your cunt, your arousal covering his lips. His rough hands flipped you both over so he was now on top, his lips trailing kisses on your chest before pulling your tank top off.

You felt his tip press against your heat, almost making you come then and there.

His eyes were locked on you in that moment. It felt like there was no one else in the world but you and him. You brought your hands to his red-flushed cheeks, kissing his lips gently. You whimper against him as he pushes himself inside of you, stretching your gummy walls.

Your moans intertwine as he thrusts in and out of you, his muscular arms holding onto you. His eyes looked... lonely. Like he missed you. It wasn't the non chalant facade that you normally hear when you call him.

He was aching for you. Not only for your touch, but for everything you are.

Your eyes were locked on his as his strokes were deep and slow, watching his mouth gape open just a bit.

"Baby," Levi grunted, quickening his pace.

"Yes, Levi?" You pressed your hands to his bare, muscular chest.

The sound of you saying his name sent him over the edge. He watched your lips move as you said his name, a glossy sheen on your lips from his cock. He buried his face in your neck as his pace quickened, his fat balls slapping against your skin.

"Oh, Levi." You moan as your cunt clenches around him. "I'm gonna come." Your toes girl as he thrusts faster and deeper. Quickly, he brought one hand to your clit and massaged circles once again. You slammed your eyes shut, feeling the euphoria overtake your body.

Your entire body twitched and let out moans as you came, your brain almost short circuiting. Levi removed his hand from you as he became sloppy with his pace - he's close.

Levi's eyes met yours again as he lost himself inside of you.

"I, I love you." He thrusted inside of you once more, letting his juices cover your walls, filling you up.

He unloaded inside of you out of habit, you both preferred it that way.

You cradled his head in your hands as he came down from his high, caressing his cheek. You watched his face when his eyes fluttered to yours, his lips pressing against your swollen ones.

Once he pulled out of you, you couldn't help but whine at the loss of him. He got a towel and cleaned your body for you, covering your skin with kisses.

"Levi, did you mean that?" You looked at him as he cleaned you, like the neat freak that he is.

"I don't say anything I don't mean." He didn't even look at you. He got up, threw the towel in your hamper, and found himself at your side again. "I'll never stop loving you, princess. Even when you're not with me, I'm eternally yours."

You pulled the covers over your bodies and tangled your legs with his, mending into his body.

He pressed one last kiss to your forehead before you dozed off together.

Safe to say this wasn't the last time you called him late at night.

[boyfiejay]

Just One Chance

PAIRING : Nishimura Riki x gn Reader

GENRE : potential f2l, hurt, comfort, crack

Warning : break up, crying, riki overthinks

Word Count : 0.8k

Author's Note : wrote this in the library while my friends were actually studying 🥸

In your 8 years of friendship with Riki, you two have been at each other's doorstep in the middle of the night countless times. But this time it was different, it was 2 A.M and you stared at the text from Riki saying he was tired and going to bed early

Was this really worth waking him up and ruining his sleep? But it seems that your broken heart had already made the decision.

Riki wasn't expecting to wake up to the sound of his doorbell, he reached for his phone, squinting his eyes at the bright screen. 2:07 it read. Who could it be so late at night? Only one person came to his mind.

He opened the door, taking in your form. You looked guilty, but above all you looked sad, heartbroken even.

He let you in, already knowing who this was about. He watched as you took small steps towards the couch, the same one where you first told him about your now ex-boyfriend, at least he hoped it was an ex now.

He silently sat down beside you, waiting for you to speak. Riki had never pressed you to tell him anything, and you were thankful for that. He has always been good at comforting others despite what he likes to say.

"He.." you trailed off, emotions getting the best of you as tears streamed down your cheeks. Riki put his arms around you, pulling you close till your head was buried in his chest. He stroked your head, running his fingers through your hair.

"He was angry about s- something, I asked him what was wrong b- but he just started yelling at m- me." you said, sniffling and stuttering throughout the sentence.

Riki didn't say anything, letting you collect yourself. "So I left him alone. After a while he told me that he saw me talking to you and he got jealous. Said he was already having a bad day and didn't need to see me being all over you." you said, hurt swirling in your eyes as you stared into the distance.

Riki held your face in his hands, wiping the remaining tears on your face."I'm not going to say sorry for that. If that's what you were expecting." he said in a small voice, afraid to scare you if he sounded offended.

Honestly, he didn't know what to feel about this, should he feel guilty that he was the reason for a fight? But then again it wasn't his fault that your boyfriend had such low self-esteem.

"No, I don't want you to apologise. But..." you said looking in his eyes trying to find reassurance for what you were going to say next.

"But what?" he asked, his hold just a tad bit tighter. His mind raced with thoughts of what that guy might have said or done, every single one making him want to beat him up.

"He said he would break up with me if I continued talking to you." you said, looking for something anything in his eyes.

Riki looked away, he wasn't surprised he knew that sentence was coming the moment you started to date him. What surprised him was that your boyfriend had survived without saying this for almost 5 months.

"What did you say?" he said, his voice coming out choked. So this was it then? He would never get to hangout with you again just because of some guy.

Above all he regretted not telling you his feelings sooner. Did he ever have a chance?

"Of course I said no. He was being too much, so i told to go fuck himself and came here." you said, half asleep, because well Riki was extremely comfortable and you were tired.

But Riki couldn't believe his ears, of course he had some hope that you wouldn't leave him just like that. But the way you sounded so nonchalantly had him seeing red.

Here he was being sad and sappy about how he wouldn't get to be your best friend now and you were sleeping?

He lightly pushed you off him, holding your face in his hands with an exasperated expression on his face.

"You couldn't have told me this sooner. I was about to start crying, you dimwit." he said, shaking your head in his hands.

You groaned, pushing his hands away "You seriously thought I would leave you just for some guy I've known for like half a year? You have no hope in me." you said, crawling back into his warmth. Damn him for being so comfortable.

He watched with an opened mouth as you pushed your head in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around him. Both of you are half lying on the couch.

He stayed still, knowing you would fall asleep like that, comfortable in his arms. While he will have back pain the following day, but it was okay. As long as he could have you this close to him. As long as you give him a massage tomorrow.

Now that you were single, Riki was going to make sure you see him and no one else. He was going to make sure he tells you his feelings that he's been hiding for so long.

And he knew you would give in. That you would give him a chance. 

[noosayog]

001 bad idea, right?

✧ wc: 600

✧ warnings/content: suna x fem!reader, sfw, suggestive, making bad good decisions, mentions of cheating (not by reader or suna), characters are post-time skip

✧ GUTS masterlist, regular masterlist

divider from @/cafekitsune

You’re huddled in the stall of the grimy bathroom of a bar, squinting at the text message on your phone in the dim light. 

You up? 

You know you shouldn’t. You know this is a bad idea. But you can’t help yourself. And who are you kidding, you wouldn’t be hiding in the bathroom, lying to your friends about needing to go pee to contemplate something you shouldn’t be. 

That’s when the door gets kicked open, rusted lock giving in right away. You jolt up to meet the glare of your best friend. 

“What are you doing?” she snatches your phone from your hand. 

“Hey!” 

She scans the screen then looks at you exasperatedly. 

“I wasn’t really going to…” 

She says your name in long, drawn out syllables, in warning. 

“I swear! But I am tired, so I’m going to get an uber home.” 

She eyes you suspiciously. “I’ll go with you.” 

“No!” you say hastily. “Seriously, stay and have fun. I’m just going to go to sleep.” 

Not a total lie. You just don’t specify where.

Reluctantly, she nods, walking you out to the door. You give her a hug good night and step out into the night. The night wind is refreshing and you feel the alcohol vaporizing from your system as you walk further and further from the bar. 

After getting about a block away, you pull out your phone to call the uber. You take one more cautious look behind you to make sure your friends aren’t surveilling you before typing in the familiar address of your ex. 

You send a text. On my way. 

You get a devil emoji and thumbs up back. 

As you sit in the backseat of the car, you scroll through your last text messages. The majority of them from months ago when you were still together: you asking him where he is and him replying he’s at lunch with his friends. The conversation on that day ends because you surprised him at his apartment only to be surprised yourself when his roommate opens the door and reveals that your boyfriend was with another girl. 

The next text message comes from only a few weeks ago, the same simple message, you up? That one went ignored. 

Before you know it, the uber pulls up in front of the apartment building. You thank the driver and begin walking up the stairs to the second floor apartment. You knock on the door, grinning in the excitement of doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

When the door swings open, he’s standing there, leaning one arm against the door frame, the other propped on his hips. A sleazy smirk sits comfortably on his lips.

“Hey,” he gives you one head nod, the same way he greets his gym bros. 

“Hey.” you nod, shouldering your way in. 

“So, wanna head up to my room-”

“Hey!” a voice from further in the apartment sounds out. Your ex’s roommate. 

You break out into a smile, speeding over to him and throwing your arms around his neck.

Your ex sputters in confusion as his hot roommate who has one arm around your waist holds up his phone, flashing your last text message to him. On my way. 

“Thanks for getting the door. It’s for me,” he says obnoxiously, as if it wasn’t obvious. 

You jump into Suna’s arms and he easily catches you, giving you a searing kiss. You’re sure that your ex can see him sticking his tongue down your throat, wildly inappropriate for prying eyes, but you can’t seem to care. You feel Suna’s lips curve into a wicked grin, flashing your ex the middle finger before walking you into his own room and tripping into bed with you.

[ode2cheol]

when you spoke to me..

doctor!joshua x f!reader 4.1k words, readers ex keeps texting her to take him back, fake dating au, honestly doesn’t focus much on joshua being a doctor other than at the beginning but he still is a rich doctor, fluff, angst, one sided love (?) (you’ll get it when u read it), part of waves will take us far away series !

why were hospital layouts so complicated sometimes? now you’re accidentally in the room of a really cute doctor embarrassing yourself while you fumble with your phone trying to find the correct room your friend was in.. but wait is he smiling at you?

“you what?” you screamed to your friend over the phone, “who the hell is stupid enough to go on a hike when they have a broken leg?”

“ankle. it’s a broken ankle. besides it all worked out in the end right? at least everything with cheol got cleared up” she giggled, and you sighed remembering the crush she’d developed on her doctor of all people.

“yeah yeah i guess, look you get some rest i’ll come visit you tomorrow with jeonghan. feel better alright!” you let out another deep sigh when your friend hung up. you loved her but she really did make some terrible decisions sometimes.

the bed sheets were warm beneath you, it’d started getting warmer as spring approached and you knew you were definitely grateful for it. the cold weather always made the skin on your hands rough.

the notification sound on your phone went off. confused you checked your phone again in case it was from your friend. you let out a groan when you read who the text was from. ‘i’m sorry i miss you’ read the text from your ex. you’d blocked him weeks ago but he kept finding ways to contact you through new or his friends’ accounts. annoyed, you put your phone on mute and put your head on your pillow ready to sleep.

balloons tied to your wrist and three gift bags resting on your forearms, you walked through the hospital halls keeping a lookout for any staff that could help you find where the room you were looking for was.

you didn't usually visit this hospital so you weren’t familiar with the setting. room 139. you just passed 122 so surely you can't be far, right? after walking for a few more minutes, you found room 139. something seemed off though.

you were sure jeonghan had told you that he was already here and after peeking your head in, you couldn’t catch sight of him. weird. maybe he just stepped out to grab something. oh well.

pushing the door open you could've cried at the sight in front of you. yeah you were right to be wary. instead of your friends you were met with an elderly man currently getting a cast on his arm.

“i am so so sorry” you said breathlessly as you tried to get out of the room. before you did, your eyes met with the second doctor in the room, was he.. laughing at you? ‘jerk’ you rolled your eyes before walking out of the room.

turning on your heel, you gave one last apology before trying to find the correct room. before you could make it far, you felt someone grab onto your arm to get your attention. ‘what the hell did he want?’

“can i help you?” you told him curtly.

“i can help you if you need actually. i’m guessing you’re here to visit someone and it wasn’t that man back there” he smiled at you. okay now you felt bad. he was just a cute doctor that wanted to help you out.

“oh.. thank you” you smiled at him, “uh this was the room that my friend has told me. i’m visiting her, she had a fractured ankle..”

“oh!” his eyes widened, “do you know who your friend’s doctor is? is it choi seungcheol?”

“oh that’s right!”

“yeah come with me i’ll take you to where it is. you were in the wrong ward”

you frowned. why would the hospital use the same numbering system for every ward? it’s so over complicated. whatever. at least you were getting there now. you continued to follow doctor.. well actually what was his name?

“excuse me doctor? what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking”

“hm? oh i’m doctor hong but you can call me joshua i don’t mind” he smiled again at you, and when you saw it you don’t know how you managed to dislike him at first when he had such a kind smile. “and what’s your name?”

“my name’s yn. sorry for making you go through all this trouble by the way, you must’ve been busy”

“oh no don’t worry about it, i wouldn’t have offered if i didn’t want to”

after about ten minutes of walking joshua showed you to where the room was, and you saw all of your friends. thanking joshua one more time you made your way in before waving back at him.

when visiting hours were done, you and jeonghan we’re making it out of the hospital together before you heard your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket.

you groaned at how it kept going, knowing it meant that it was your ex that found another way to contact you.

“you know, this should be considered borderline harassment at this point. he won’t leave you alone!” jeonghan sounded annoyed when you both confirmed it was your ex texting again, “he’s got no shame too, he’s the one who cheats and now he’s begging to have you back”

“i don’t even care anymore, i planned on getting a new phone and number soon anyway. so he can have fun texting the phone that nobody’s using” you sighed, exasperated at his efforts.

you’d told him weeks ago to stop contacting you, that no matter how much he did this wasn’t going to ‘win you back’. he was a terrible human being and you didn’t want anything to do with him.

“oh? yn?” you heard a familiar voice call out not too far from where you and jeonghan were.

turning to identify where the sound was coming from, you relaxed when you saw it was the doctor that helped you earlier.

“hi joshua, you getting off work now?” you waited for him to catch up to you.

“yeah. hey jeonghan” he waved to the man smiling deviously next to you, “uh yn do you have a ride home?”

“she doesn’t! i had to meet my parents for dinner right after so i couldn’t” before you could answer jeonghan was already doing it for you, faking a pout. “but hey, you could take yn home, couldn’t you shua?”

“if that’s okay with you yn i’d be happy to” joshua smiled at you again, that same too sweet smile.

“if it’s not any trouble to you” you told him sheepishly, “then i’d really appreciate it”

joshua’s car was nice, you could tell he took good care of it, making sure everything in the glove compartments were organised and that the seats were as clean as the carpets. you’d spent the time talking and getting to know each other. falling into conversation with joshua was too easy, almost as if you’d known each other for years. you’d learnt about how much of a kind person he was, but he never bragged about it, just about how incredibly grateful he was to be able to give to others. there was no way someone as nice as him really existed. and he looked that good too? oh it really wasn’t fair.

but you can really never have too much of a good thing because here came the 703rd call from your ex in the last few weeks. groaning you decline it but then came the bombardment of texts saying how he ‘loved you and didn’t mean it’.

“is that your boyfriend?” joshua asked, and if you weren’t so distracted with blocking the new number he was contacting you from, you would’ve caught the masked disappointment in his voice.

“thankfully no. but i don’t want to bother you with the whole story” you turned to look at him, but he was silently telling you to go on, like he doesn’t mind if you vented to him despite only knowing him a few hours. from what jeonghan had told you after being friends with joshua for a few months now, he was definitely a good listener. “he’s my ex. we’d broken up like a year ago or something but a few weeks ago he kept trying to reach out again out of nowhere. i’m guessing he realised that no girl wanted him so he thought i’d take him back”

“and what he’s just been bothering you for the last few weeks? have you tried telling the authorities?”

“i’ve thought about it but he’s harmless. i saw him at the store about a week ago and he didn’t even approach me. he’s all bark and no bite. i think if he sees i’m with someone else he’ll definitely back off” you sighed rubbing at your temples, you could feel yourself getting a headache already.

“are you? with someone else i mean?” he looked nervous. it was so cute.

“no, but why do you ask?” you asked him with a teasing lilt in your voice.

“well, my parents have been annoying me for weeks about finding a partner. so how about we just help each other out and pretend we’re going out with one another?”

it honestly was a good idea but you couldn’t help feel a little disappointed that it would just be fake dating. joshua was fun though so you’d push back your own brief hurt in favour of at least hanging out with him more often.

‘morning !! do u think u can meet me at this cafe at around 3 today ? need to ask u smth’ read the text that joshua had sent you today. it had been a few weeks since he drove you home and you’d both been texting back and forth getting to know each other more, and he mentioned that you both might have to meet soon last night. you texted him back, and agreed to meeting up. after getting ready, you left the apartment at around 2:30 to get to the cafe that joshua had told you about.

you texted joshua again to let him know you were outside and he told you that he was waiting at the table near the window on the left. when you stepped in you found him immediately. he was dressed casually, you’re guessing he didn’t have work today.

“hey, do you want me to grab you something to drink?” he smiled at you, helping you with your things.

you looked over the menu before he recommended something, promising you it would be good as he’d visited the cafe a lot. he went to place the order before joining you again at the table.

“did you have work off today?” you asked him.

“oh yeah, i don’t usually work fridays” he took a sip of his drink, “but anyway. the reason i asked you here was because i was wondering if you could come with me to some dinner my aunt’s hosting this weekend. her daughter graduated and my parents mentioned they wanted to meet you”

this weekend? that’s so sudden. i mean it’s not like you really had any plans anyway but it was still really sudden, “i’m free so i can go just.. well how formal is this dinner? like should i dress up or..” you trailed off, mentally trying to remember everything in your closet and if you had something fit for the occasion.

“it’s pretty formal i guess” he said sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck, “it’s at some fancy restaurant and i’m going wearing a suit. of course if you need me to i can definitely help you find a dress!”

“don’t worry about it” you laughed, pulling out your phone so you could find a picture. “i have a few formal ones but this is one i wore to my friend’s engagement party a couple months back, you think this’ll be alright?”

joshua looked at the picture, lips curving up into a smile before he met your gaze, “you look really pretty in that dress”

you flushed, taking a sip of your drink while thinking of a way to not let him get the upper hand, he can’t make you fall for him it wouldn’t be fair.

“thanks.. i just remembered! i have a high school reunion on the 30th. are you busy that day? i’m pretty sure it’s a friday”

you saw joshua frown thinking over it before opening what you’re guessing is his calendar app on his phone, “nope. i don’t have anything that day so i can go with you”

“great! my ex should be there too so after that he should stop bothering me too”

maybe it was all just in your head but you felt like you saw joshua tense a little at the mention of your ex, “has he texted you since?”

“i think he’s finally getting the hint. he doesn’t text as much anymore thankfully”

you were finishing up the last touches on your makeup when you heard someone ring your doorbell. you checked the camera to see it was joshua, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. you let him in, instantly taking note of his appearance.

you could hardly appreciate it from the cameras but in person you could see in detail how the suit he was wearing hugged his figure so well. the suit itself was black paired with a white button up and a purple tie.

“i remembered your dress was purple and thought i’d match the tie with it” joshua told you sheepishly when he saw how focused you were on it. “these are for you! i saw jeonghan today and asked him to make a bouquet for me”

you took the flowers, grinning at his thoughtfulness and thanking him, “is jeonghan still trying to win over your guys’ surgeon friend?”

joshua laughed at your comment, remembering how jeonghan had once called him at 3am to know what type of flowers his friend likes, “yeah he is. think she’ll say yes any day now”

you hummed, nodding. “how much time until we have to be there by the way?”

“about 45 minutes, it’ll only take us fifteen minutes to get there from here” he told you, checking his watch that you could just tell was expensive. you nodded again, telling him you’ll be right out after putting your dress on and grabbing a few things.

joshua waited on your couch for you to finish getting ready, scrolling through his phone to pass time. after a few minutes, he looked up when he heard you clear your throat nervously.

“you look amazing, yn. really, you do” and joshua wasn’t lying. he always thought you were pretty and right now was no different. but joshua bit back those thoughts though, admitting to himself would mean he’d also have to admit that he can’t ever have you. “so uh, you ready to go?” joshua winced at the lump in his throat and the way his voice cracked ever so slightly, and he was grateful for the fact that you were checking over the things in your purse one last time so you didn’t notice it.

you nodded and the both of you made your way to his car.

joshua was oddly quiet on the car ride, opting to just play music to fill the silence. when you arrived at the restaurant, joshua opened the door for you and helped you out. “the restaurant’s technically part of some five star hotel” he explained when you looked at it a little confused.

“ohh it looks really pretty” you smiled up at him while he held your hand leading you to the entrance.

joshua told the receptionist his name and she led you both over to where joshua and his family were waiting. when you actually saw them, the nerves finally hit you. what if you accidentally let slip that you and joshua weren’t really dating? what if you embarrass joshua?

joshua seemed to take notice of your nerves, squeezing your hand gently and whispering a “you’ll be fine, they’re going to love you”.

and it seems joshua was right. the night did go smoothly and you congratulated joshua’s cousin for her graduation. his family was kind, they didn’t once make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, instead complimenting you and making sure you didn’t feel left out.

by the time the dinner was over you were honestly sad that you’d have to leave his family, they were so fun you wanted to be with them more often. you left for a few minutes to go to the bathroom and when you came back you found joshua looking for you.

“joshua? what’s up?” taking note of how he looked a little annoyed and out of breath.

“yn i’m so sorry. my uncle just told me now that they’d booked rooms for all us to stay at the hotel tonight. if you feel uncomfortable with it i can just say you have a work thing tomorrow and we can’t stay” you really didn’t mind staying, but you were surprised and did feel guilty that they paid for you. he wasn’t saying it for your sake but you knew joshua secretly wanted to stay. his job makes it hard for him to see his family often so he’d appreciate this time with them. at the same time, you knew that staying would only make you more regretful of the fact that joshua didn’t feel the same about you.

“it’s fine, i don’t mind staying”

surprisingly enough, you’d managed to fall asleep pretty quick considering when you fell asleep joshua was still taking a shower.

when joshua got out he saw you on the bed and couldn’t help the soft smile breaking at his features. he saw your phone was still unlocked, a video still playing. ‘you must’ve fallen asleep watching it’.

he was about to turn it off before rolling his eyes at the texts from your ex again. he was about to block it for you until an idea crossed his mind. joshua fought mentally with himself as he debated whether or not he should go through with it. he sent a picture the two of you had taken together earlier to your ex, a ‘can u leave us alone ..?’ text attached to it while he silently prayed you wouldn’t think he was crossing any lines by doing so.

you met up with joshua a lot more after the dinner with his family. but the both of you getting closer was not doing anything to help your own feelings. joshua by no means felt the same about you. when you’d gotten to know joshua and the people close to him, you learnt that he was always the bold one when it came to people he liked. he’d always be the one to ask someone out, the one to go the extra mile for them. so the fact that he hadn’t done that for you, or even implied he wanted to, it wasn’t hard to assume that he just simply didn’t like you in that way. joshua wanted you as a friend and nothing more or less and you just had to live happily with that.

the reunion was soon. you’d texted joshua about it again, reminding him the address and time it was. you noticed your ex stopped texting you and part of you felt a little disappointed at it. you were grateful he finally took the hint but sad because what if this meant joshua wouldn’t have to keep up the act anymore? you were aware you probably seemed crazy and pathetic clinging onto a fake relationship that was only proposed for convenience, but that’s how you felt and you couldn’t help it and were too tired of it all to make an excuse.

dressed in a plain black tee paired with black slacks and a blazer, joshua picked you up for the reunion. as hard as you’d tried to make it seem like nothing was up, you knew joshua could tell. you silently hoped he would just assume it’s nerves because you still hadn’t thought of a way to tell him that you wanted to break off the agreement of fake dating.

why was this so complicated? it’s not like you two were actually dating so it’s not like it’s an actual breakup, but it still felt like you were losing something. what if joshua only talked to you so much was because he needed someone that was willing to pretend to be his girlfriend?

you shook the thoughts out of your head as you both pulled up to the place the reunion was being held. stepping out, you could already see some familiar faces, smiling and hugging them whenever they came to greet you.

the night went by with you catching up with old classmates, introducing them to joshua too. it was scary how well he was able to get along with people instantly. you were honestly surprised that your ex hadn’t bothered you all night, guess he saw joshua and backed off.

when you decided to leave the reunion, joshua suggested you both grab dinner somewhere. the food served at the reunion wasn’t the best so the both of you hadn’t eaten much all night. and that’s how the both of you ended up in the parking lot of some takeout place, laughing while you both told stories of your high schools together.

it was fun, and you hated the part of yourself that always made you overthink. ‘none of this is even real, joshua doesn’t care about you like that. so stop thinking this means the two of you are really dating’.

“yn, what’s wrong?” joshua sounded alarmed, and it was only then you took notice of the tears welling up in your eyes, rubbing aggressively at them immediately.

“think that the contacts are just irritating my eyes, don’t worry” you assured him but he still didn’t look satisfied with your answer.

“here let me help you-”

“it’s fine joshua” you sighed, “look about this whole pretending to be dating thing. i really can’t do it anymore. pretending to be in a relationship with you is killing me-”

“fine. i’m sorry if i did something to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. it was stupid of me to send that picture to your ex-”

“what picture?” you looked up at him confused, what the hell was he talking about?

“the one i sent to your ex and i told him that we were happy and to leave us alone..”

“is that why he stopped bothering me? oh well i didn’t know about that but thanks because it’s the only thing that managed to shut him up”

“wait what? so then what are you mad at me about?” he pouted.

you stayed silent. you knew exactly where this was headed and if it carried on you knew it’d lead to you spilling your guts to him, and you weren’t sure you could do that. because if you did you’d lose joshua forever.

“nothing, don’t worry about it” you mumbled, going back to swirling the plastic spoon around the ice cream in your cup.

“no no no” you heard joshua say, his fingers holding on to the underside of your jaw gently so that you turned your attention to him. “tell me, yn”

“i can’t” you whispered, tears welling up again, “if i do i’ll lose you forever. i don’t think i can do that, shua” you knew tears were freely spilling past your eyes at this point but you couldn’t care.

“yn, i promise you, you’re not going to lose me. i love you far too much to let you go” you still shook your head at him sniffling and unbelieving of his words. “yn you mean so much to me that i’m willing ignore my feelings for you because i know you don’t feel the same way. you mean so much to me that i’d rather wake up knowing i can’t have you the way i want then to wake up not having you in my life at all. you mean so much to me yn, so please don’t think i’d try leaving you”

you sat, stunned at joshua’s confession. it was like he could read your heart and turned all the feelings and words you wanted to give him into his own. he looked at you warily for a few seconds, scared you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. if only he knew how much you’d been thinking the same about him for months.

you inched closer to him, closing your eyes as you brushed your lips over his. joshua tensed before melting into the kiss too, and your heart grew warmer and how you could feel him smile into the kiss.

when you both pulled away, you were both smiling, “you know this doesn’t serve as a confession right? i want you to list every single thing that made you like me!”

you laughed at his words, whining “no don’t make me say it, you just want to tease me”

“oh so you’re allowed to hear me pour my heart out to you but if i wanna hear you say it back it’s too much?” he jokingly pouted, bringing you closer for a hug while he fought off his own giggles hearing yours.

🏷️ @smilehui @suzuyamitsuki @minhui896

[tarotbiscuits]

ℌ𝔬𝔴 𝔡𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲?˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚🫧

Hey guys, long time no see <3 i was at the beach this week and got inspired by seashells to make a beach themed pac! It was supposed to be 9 piles, but i got sunburned🥲 anyway, maybe there's a message for you in one of these piles. This is going to be short and sweet🩷

Pile 1 (brown seashell)

(devil horizontal clarified by seven of wands rx and queen of cups, nine of cups rx, seven of cups clarified by nine of pentacles rx, ace of pentacles)

They feel very unhappy with themselves and their life, so they often daydream about you to forget reality. They can't make up their mind if you're bad news or not, pile 1🤭. I see that you've treated them well, you showed them that you have feelings for them, perhaps you offered them something without asking. They feel like it's "too good to be true" and what if it's all just a facade? "What if pile 1 is playing with me in order to get something?" They might have been deceived in the past, so they find it hard to believe your kind nature to be genuine. They see you as very feminine and nurturing towards them. If you're in NC, they'd like to start fresh with you. If not, they wish they could spend more time with you

Pile 2 (small grey seashell)

(three of wands rx clarified by king of cups rx amd temperance rx, page of wands horizontal clarified by judgement rx, two of wands and queen of wands rx, the star clarified by three of swords and the wheel of fortune, eight of wands horizontal, high priestess horizontal)

This is my exes pile😬. Pile 2, i'm sorry but your person is a coward lmaoo. You two have history, you have either been in a relationship with them and broke up OR you were in some kind of situationship that had a painful ending. They don't want to reach out to you because they know that they need to level up and show you their true feelings without playing games. They know they have to make a decision tho. "Should i try rekindling things with pile 2 or not?". They feel like your ending was fated, so they hope that the stars will align again to bring you guys back together. If they would listen to their intuition, they would text you already, but they're such a loser damn

Pile 3 (pale seashell)

(three of swords horizontal, two of cups rx, the sun rx clarified by three of wands rx, page of swords clarified by page of wands, king of cups rx and temperance rx)

This pile is similar to pile 2, so if you felt drawn to it, maybe there's a message for you in pile 2 too. Anyway, this is a romance that went sour. Things ended between you two because they wanted to play the field. Since you two have parted ways, they feel very depressed about you. They feel like they didn't explore your connection to its full potential. They have a lot of "what ifs" moments. Unlike pile 2, they are likely to reach out to you in the near future to rekindle the connection, but beware, pile 3! If they previously were emotionally unavailable or they showed signs of emotional immaturity, they haven't changed. Despite having feelings for you, they are not very sure about your connection

Pile 4 (black seashell)

(ace of wands rx, ten of wands rx, nine of swords horizontal, death)

They aren't interested in you, period. I feel like your connection was a burden on them and they feel better off without you. I see that at night, they overthink your connection. "What if i made the wrong choice in letting pile 4 go? ..ugh, i should go to sleep". They probably feel like they made the right choice in ending the connection, but they will truly realise this only later. They believe your connection has reached its course and there's nothing else to explore, discuss or repair

[peachhcs]

sharks development camp

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

a blurb of macklin talking to will about samy and their breakup while at the sharks development camp.

i got inspired from that one post i saw where will and macklin are roommates at the dev camp, so i produced this short little snippet. it's actually kind of cutie because will's being like an older brother in a way :)

au masterlist

the two boys practically collapsed onto their beds as soon as they were back in the room. the few days they'd been in san jose were extremely fun, but also very exhausting. they were on the ice from sun up to sun down basically, so breaks were far and few between.

at least it was good for getting a full night's sleep because all the boys were out by the time the day finished. will rolled onto his side, reaching for his phone he stuffed into his backpack that was a little bit more than an arm's length away from him at the moment. he stretched a little bit farther and was able to wrap his fingers around the device in the side pocket.

he scanned down the list of notifications for anything important. there were a few texts from his mom and the family group chat, but other than that, things were pretty quiet on will's phone. it'd become a lot quieter now that there was no multiple messages from samy.

will didn't want to admit to himself that he missed seeing her name on his screen with about 10 different messages from her in the time he was at practice.

"can i ask you a bit of a..personal question?" macklin's voice broke will from his thoughts. the older boy rolled to the side macklin was on who stared up at the ceiling.

"what?"

"you're not a virgin, are you?" well, that definitely was a personal question. will's expression twisted for a second before shaking his head.

"uh..yeah, no. i'm not," shit. every. single. conversation. led will right back to samy. at least he didn't spiral this time unlike last time back at the combine where he pretty much made himself look super pathetic.

"okay, sorry. that was like..weird and personal. i don't know. i feel like every person i've talked to isn't and it makes me feel weird sometimes because like..i haven't done.." macklin trailed off realizing this was a weird conversation topic.

"no, it's fine. i get it. i was the same too for a long time," the blonde said and he felt like he was being some older brother right now.

"really?"

"yeah, i didn't like..actually do anything until i was 18," will said almost in embarrassment, but he knew that wasn't anything to be embarrassed about.

"oh. wow. was it like..a hookup or like.." macklin kept asking which will didn't mind. he kind of wished he had someone like himself when he was 16, 17, 18 to talk about all of this. none of his friends really talked about it a whole lot, or they did but it was always in a weird, gross way.

"no, it was with my ex girlfriend," will flinched saying ex girlfriend. it felt so weird calling samy that.

"wait, ex girlfriend?" macklin sat up, confusion on his features.

the blonde's face flushed a little, "oh, i guess we haven't really told people. uh, samy and i broke up."

he watched the brunette's eyes widen in shock, "you broke up? when?"

"like..early june?"

"wait, why? i thought you two were like..oh my god, is that why samy like avoided you when you came over and talked to us at the draft?" macklin's eyes widened in realization.

"yeah..basically. i don't know. i..i kind of realize it was a shitty decision on my part, but i don't really know how to fix it," the older boy admitted, sitting up some.

"did something happen? like what happened?"

"nothing bad..i just..i freaked a bit when i signed on last month. i think i got into my head a little too much and i made the decision without talking it out before i did. she won't talk to me really, though so i can't talk to her," will shrugged, a frown on his lips.

"oh, wow. i'm sorry. i didn't know," the brunette frowned too.

"don't worry. it's my fault and i kind of deserve being avoided."

"maybe i can talk to her? she kind of took beckett and i under her wing at the draft, so maybe we can talk her up," macklin laughed a little.

"no, it's fine. i'll see her anyway at our family vacation, so maybe i can..talk to her or something," will waved the boy off.

"well, if it's any consolation, i think she'd take you back if she heard you out. from what i knew, you guys really cared about each other," macklin shrugged a bit.

"thanks, i appreciate that," will managed a small smile.

the two started getting into talking about something else, but samy lingered on will's mind for the rest of the night. when macklin fell asleep will seriously thought about reaching out to her. his finger hovered above the send button and he deleted and retyped a bunch of messages, but he ultimately decided he shouldn't because why would she even want hear from him anyway?

[feralsteddie]

blame @grandwretch for telling me to listen to bad idea right?

Steve cringed at himself, contemplated bashing his own head in on his steering wheel, and got out of the car.

He was still slightly covered in glitter, some of it his, some of it Robin and Chrissy’s.

The two of them were still at the club. Where Steve left them. After getting a literal ‘u up?’ text like Eddie hadn’t watched Chrissy get ready to go out with them in their shared apartment and knew he'd be awake and out until 2 AM at the earliest.

God, when had Steve fallen so low?

He’d blocked Eddie’s number months ago, had even gone on a couple of dates! The last one had been with Levi. Steve liked Levi. Even if he kept making Dead Kennedy’s jokes that Steve didn’t get and kept insisting that Steve would just love The Front Bottoms if he gave them a try.

But he was nice.

A real gentleman.

Didn’t seem to have a whole subscription of issues that meant he was too afraid to use the L Word, or talk about the future, or even really answer any questions about what he wanted out of the relationship besides sex, all while being a completely possessive asshole like Steve already had his last name and a ring on his finger.

… Not that that was pointed or anything.

Anyways.

Point was, Steve had been doing good.

And then Dustin had given him a long speech about how they were all adults (Steve refused to believe the kids were adults, they would be kids until he was in the ground and half-rotted) and the weird tension between Steve and Eddie was making it very difficult to plan events if they were always having to take into consideration Robin’s Steve’s no contact rule.

So, Steve had unblocked him. Hadn’t made any move to text him though, just had a couple of stilted phone calls while coordinating who was giving who a ride to Nancy, Jon, and Argyle’s anniversary party.

But apparently Steve’s luck had run out. Some time between getting to the club, Chrissy posting a bunch of half-blurry videos of them dancing, and Steve getting very up close and personal with some guy who had tattoos up to his neck and biceps bigger than his, the universe had decided to tempt Steve.

He’d only seen the text when he’d broken off for a bathroom break, and despite the chorus of drunk girls he knew he would have had if he’d opened his mouth and said the magical words ‘Should I call my ex?’ his fingers had already made the decision for him.

Five minutes later he was telling the girls he had a headache, and that they should keep enjoying themselves.

Robin was going to kill him.

But that was a Tomorrow Steve issue.

He was already climbing the stairs- taking them two at a time even like the desperate bastard he was- and knocking before common sense could kick in and tell him to actually go home and sleep.

He was barely pulling his fist away when the door swung open, and god.

Eddie leaned against the doorframe, stretching his arm up as he smirked at Steve. Fucking shirtless and in sweatpants like the fuckboy he swore he wasn’t, and Steve’s thoughts were just static.

Did Eddie have to be so fucking hot?

It was truly annoying, like Steve was pretty sure he’d have been able to get over the asshole if he didn’t look like that. It was a travesty about his personality though.

“Damn, baby. You get dolled up all for me?” He was looking at Steve like he was a piece of meat he couldn’t wait to dig his teeth into.

Steve rolled his eyes and shoved his way into the apartment, “Actually it was for whoever I was going to bring home from the club, but you knew that already.” He snarked, looking around the living room like he hadn’t been there to help Chrissy and Eddie move in.

The door slammed behind him, making him jump a little, and jump again when he felt hands slip under his fuzzy blue sweater.

Eddie was a line of heat against his back, his long, thick fingers trailing up his sides and over his stomach, stopping to dig into the thick of his hips.

“But you’re not with any of those guys, are you?” He was halfway growling, like he had any say in what Steve did anymore. Possessive bastard.

Steve tilted his head back, resting it against Eddie’s shoulder while he placed little kisses up and down the offered skin.

No, I’m not. He wanted to say. Or maybe I don’t want them. Or even I wouldn’t have to settle for them if you had just loved me.

He didn’t say any of those, because they were too real for what was happening and Eddie would get spooked again and Steve was already there and thinking about Eddie’s dick, so.

“There’s time for that to change.” He settled on instead, curling his lip with all the bitchiness he could muster.

He felt teeth latch onto the side of his neck briefly, Eddie biting down hard enough in those couple seconds he knew it’d be a pretty bruise come morning, “Don’t be like that,” He sounded almost pained when he said it, and Steve had to clench his jaw, “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be.”

“God, do you ever shut up.” Steve turned in his arms and grabbed either side of Eddie’s face, pulling him into a kiss. Fuck, Steve missed kissing Eddie. Missed how soft his lips were, the curl of them like he couldn’t help the smile, the way he gentled it, slowed Steve down even when he wanted the frantic and messy, so he didn’t let himself think of it as romantic.

Steve pulled away slightly, “Bed. I gotta be in my own before Robin gets home.”

Eddie reattached their mouths, walking Steve backwards, down the hall and to his bedroom that still smelled like weed and the patchouli incense he always swore were fooling his landlord. “Don’t worry about them.” Steve felt his knees hit the side of the bed, and Eddie pulled his sweater and shirt off as he fell back onto the mattress.

“Yeah, you say that until Chris and Rob string us both up-”

“No, I mean her and Chris are heading over to Vickie and Eden’s.”

Steve paused, thumbs hooked into the waistband of his shorts, “… Did you plan this?” He kind of wanted to kick the stupid grin off of his face, and the urge only increased when he snorted.

“She texted me just before you got here, they ran into each other after you left.” Steve ignored the brief bout of disappointment in his stomach, covered it with an eye roll as he finished shoving the rest of his clothes off.

Obviously, it hadn’t been planned. He was booty called with the most obvious line in the history of texting, and he was probably just the first person desperate enough to take him up-

His thoughts were cut off by a hand grabbing his face, fingers and thumb pressing into his cheeks and pulling him into another kiss, “But I’m gunna count myself lucky I get to take my time with you now, sweetheart.”

Steve felt his chest crack a little, and he was so fucking stupid, it was such a bad idea, a colossal bad idea, he was going to make Dustin invent a time machine so he could go back and break his phone and tell him it wasn’t worth his stupid heart again.

Then Eddie was kissing him again, slow and deep and enough to scramble Steve’s thoughts because rule of thumb was Steve and Eddie were never not kissing when they were together and it was still his favorite thing in the world.

His face was released so Eddie could keep touching him, the calluses on the tips of his fingers scraping down his neck, over his chest and waist and hips until Eddie could grab a handful of his thigh and-

Fuck it, it’s fine.

[stealeroflemons]

eah thingy ma bobber #26 because I said soooooooo and I haven't done one of these in forever

again all of these fit into my dark version of eah and what i think fits with the canon stories from the world. gonna be pretty short and sweet because my head hurts

TW: if you are triggered by mentions of sa, r*pe, substance abuse, physical pain, murder, or any of the morbid canon events in the grimm brother's fairy tales, please be gentle with yourself and don't read these headcanons. it's important to take care of your mental well being <333

Lizzie somehow in my head could be a total serial bride. She has had so many suitors try to marry her so they can have some of her wealth and she goes for it every time!

She goes through the engagements and wedding rings and flouncy dresses and cake tastings. But the second they slip up the wedding rehearsal dinners become beheading parties

In addition to that, Lizzie keeps all the gifts her ex fiances give her and gives them to Kitty

Kitty and Faybelle totally know their way around drug dealing but rarely ever use themselves

Much like the folklores of faerie fruit being kind of hallucinogenic trip for humans, faerie drugs are 10x that

Since there is a canon story where Sleeping Beauty is r*ped and woken from childbirth, Briar has always been warned about the dangers of what could happen to her especially since she had a big party girl reputation and would partake in drugs to try and override her narcolepsy

Rosabella can type really really fast because she would text Briar all the time and she knew that when Briar would overdose and have bad depression trips it was vital to message her quickly so she didn't make any bad decisions in the times between messages

Cerise has always been afraid of hunting her friends by accident because it's in her family's story to hunt and kill each other

Ramona however, has hunted her classmates before on instinct and has come close to murdering them too

Cutting off faerie wings is basically a living death sentence because not only does it mutilate them but it also tampers with their magic

[gyuzgrl]

her //kmg// pt3. (sad ending)

summary- as confusions build to an overbearing crescendo, a sudden visit by Mingyu's sister leads to an unplanned encounter with your ex-husband. will seeing him one last time help you make up your mind?

Things can't possibly get any more confusing.

For Mingyu and for you.

While on one hand, he wants to do right by you and let you go, he can't escape the simple fact that he needs you. Long, hard days filled with thoughts of you are his reality now- they have been for the past week or so. Unable to move, to eat, to sleep, Mingyu finds himself at the lowest he's ever been.

And that message- god, he feels so stupid for contacting you when you clearly didn't want to talk. The tiny letters below his text, marked 'read' feel like little needles moving deeper into his heart every time he clicks on your chat.

That isn't to say he resents you, though. It's quite the opposite. Mingyu's time alone has given him the opportunity to grow a newfound hatred for himself, and he spends every waking moment wishing he was someone else. Someone who didn't hurt you.

You, on the other hand, are confused too, but for a different reason altogether. Although you love him, and long to be with him, the question of your self-respect remains. Letting him back in would mean giving the man who cheated on you a second chance, but staying away would mean losing the man you love, over a mistake he regrets making.

As you sit across from your lawyer, hand trembling with the weight of consequence, your thoughts race around like jolts of electricity- flooding your head with doubt.

"...and this is the last of it, so you can jus-" he trails off, noticing your shaken state.

"ma'am?"

Your head snaps up, eyes widening.

"y-um, yes, I'm listening- sorry-" you mumble, swallowing hard as you blink away the tears welling up in your eyes. Thankful for the opaque, white table separating you, you suck in a deep breath, trying to hide your trembling limbs.

"don't be,"

He offers a gentle smile, eyes filled with pity as if to say- 'oh, you poor thing...', and slides one final paper your way.

"here's the last of it- after this, you'll be free for good,"

For good? As in permanently? There's no going back? You look towards the man before you, helpless and confused. Although this is all your own doing, you can't help but feel a pang of doubt at the last leg of your journey.

"so after this we would have officially separated? he'll no longer be my husband?"

From the slight tremble in your voice, your lawyer gathers that something isn't right. It's the same quiver he detected in Mingyu's words a few days back.

He sighs, retracting the final document.

"ma'am, we can do this on another da-"

"no I just-"

"there's no rush, is there? I can tell your mind isn't completely made up just yet, and the last thing I want is for you to make a decision you aren't 100% sure of."

You feel a tear slip down your cheek, dripping onto the papers below. And then another. And another.

The universe can be so unfair, so cruel, sometimes. What twisted satisfaction do the Gods get from watching you suffer like this? Things could've been so good with Mingyu. He could've treated you so well, been the perfect husband, loved you so truly- but no.

They had to come in and ruin it all.

"you can take your time, I'll be at the front desk if you need"

You barely acknowledge his departure, staring blankly at the table as tears blur your vision. It shouldn't be this hard. It really shouldn't. After all, this was your decision- your choice.

Mingyu fucked up. He broke your heart. He's the reason your self esteem is at the lowest it's ever been.

So why...

Why does this feel wrong? Why does it hurt so bad?

Your breaths grow shallow, each inhale speeding up until your heart thuds against your chest. The rapid rise and fall of your shoulders paints a pitiful picture, and you want nothing more than for the Earth to open up and swallow your sorrow.

That night you spent with Mingyu, opened up a world of possibilities- a world of hope- only to have it all come crashing down in an instant. For one night, you got to lay with him, to love him, to be loved by him and that was it. You saw a faint glimmer of hope, that shining light at the end of a long tunnel, but it slipped away just before you could reach out and grasp it.

Reality shook you awake and now here you are- crying in a cold meeting room, all by yourself, wishing none of this ever happened.

It pains you to say it, but the truth is these past few days have been really hard. You've spent hours scrolling through your phone in search of Mingyu's pictures, spent every night forcing yourself to put your phone away only to have him haunt your sleep- you just can't push him away.

All of a sudden, there's a knock at the door. Your head jerks up, eyes making out a petite frame through the translucent glass doors.

"come- come in," you call, rubbing your eyes furiously, "I was just about to leave"

The door creaks open and a familiar face comes into view.

"oh-"

Mingyu's sister.

Minseo's eyes grow watery at your state and she hurries into the room, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"how did you-"

"word travels fast," she interrupts, cradling your face as she stares sympathetically at your puffy, red eyes. "I thought I'd check in on you both, but neither of you has been answering my calls..."

"sorry I-"

"don't be! I just wanted to see if you're doing okay, y'know?"

Her eyes lock onto yours, asking silently- 'you are doing okay, right?' and you can't help the way your gaze falters. She looks so sincere, so apologetic, you don't want to lie to her.

"y/n,"

"I'm fine"

"y/n."

Her voice is firm.

You meet her stare.

"let me buy you something to drink, hm?" she smiles, veiling her concern. "starbucks?"

"I don't go there anymore,"

"someplace else, then."

You nod, offering her a small smile, and you make your way to a coffee shop nearby. As you find a table and place your orders, Minseo's smile falters ever so slightly.

And then she begins to speak.

"I know this is the last thing I should be asking, but um- you haven't- you haven't heard from Mingyu, have you?"

You sigh, shaking your head.

"oh."

The slight quiver in her voice has you on edge, and your fingers itch to reach out and hold her hand. Before you can stop yourself, a hesitant- "why're you asking?" slips past your lips.

"it's been a little over a week... all of us have tried to call or text or- I don't know, we've tried everything- fuck, I even went to his house, but still, there was no response. I'm a little worried, you know?"

Attentively, you nod along, brows furrowing as she goes on to explain further. A few minutes pass, and her story moves from bad to worse. So far, from what you've gathered, it isn't clear where or how he is.

Minseo's eyes begin to glass over, lips quivering as she speaks on.

"I know what he did is wrong, I would hate him too if I was you, but he's-" she cuts herself off with a trembling sob, "he's my brother, my family- and- and I don't know how to fix him, y/n. I don't know what he's doing in that house, I don't know if he's even in there anymore-"

Before you know it, your own eyes begin to water, and she takes in a breath.

"I don't know what to do, y/n"

"listen- Minseo I, I'm the last person he'd want to see right now- I'm not sure what you've got planned but-"

"no- no he loves you don't you get it? he only wants to see you right now. not me, not his friends, certainly not that other girl- just you."

You stay silent.

"I'm asking for a lot, I understand, but he's- I just need to know he's okay. and- and you're the only person he'll let in"

That's how you find yourself here, standing before the doors to your apartment. The familiar frame floods you with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, and you're almost about to turn around when something catches your eye.

Newspapers, bills, letters- all scattered at the foot of the door, unopened, piled upon each other the way you've seen before at abandoned homes.

Tentatively, you press the doorbell, cringing at how the sound seems to pierce through the still air. The sharp twang echoes all throughout the house, like a bullet ricocheting, and your heartbeat quickens.

For about a minute, there's no response- just silence. Maybe this was a bad idea. He probably isn't even h-

"leave me alone, Minseo." a hoarse voice interrupts suddenly, drawing your attention right away.

He's here.

Right behind this door, he's standing, breathing.

"it's um, it's y/n, actuall-"

Before you can finish your sentence, the door swings open, and to your dismay, Mingyu looks like shit.

Standing before you dressed in the same old pajamas, your ex-husband looks a mess. His eyes are so red and swollen you can't tell if he's slept at all. He's lost weight too... The once proud bulk of muscle he sported has drastically reduced to a much slimmer, skinnier figure.

But this all seems like nothing when you notice something held tight within his grasp-

"is that my-"

"no! no- it's uh, it's" he sputters helplessly, stepping back to let you in, "I was jus-just cleaning up! yeah just um, just cleaning,"

Your heart twists. The iron grip he's got on your t-shirt tells you a completely different story, but for now, you let it be. You don't need to dig up his feelings. Not when you haven't sorted your own out.

"how come you're- why are you here?"

"oh uh, my stuff? yeah! all my stuff is here and I need it, so..." you lie, looking around the house as you walk to the living room.

It's colder than before, somehow. Haunted. There's not a light or a lamp in sight, no fire burning in the fireplace- just total darkness. Everything is just as you left it too; your mug of coffee is still on the dinner table, Mingyu's briefcase is still set near the couch, the wall clock still hasn't been wound, now telling the tale of the past.

He notices your wandering gaze and suddenly feels conscious. Scratching the back of his neck, Mingyu ushers you quickly to the couch, blocking your view from the side so you don't see the true mess.

The bedroom.

Your bedroom, rather.

Oh, if you saw the state of that room-

Dark, heavy blinds shut off the outside world, a swirl of your clothes and blankets litter the bed, and the air hangs heavy, with spritzes of your perfume clinging to every surface.

The last thing Mingyu wants is for you to see the state of that room.

"could I-"

"have a seat-"

You both start at the same time, turning to each other awkwardly. He let's his gaze linger on yours for a moment too long, and all hell breaks loose. The air of pretense dissipates within seconds. Mingyu's eyes tell you all you need to know.

You're the first to look away, startled by the emotion behind his stare. The longing and guilt and hurt etched deep in the universe of his eyes is too much.

It's disgusting.

"you first," he urges, "you were saying?"

"nothing really, I just need to get my stuff." Your voice holds no emotion, surprisingly.

"I'll do it!" he interjects, his body going rigid at the thought of you walking into his pathetic little chamber of secrets. "I'll um. tell me what you need"

Unable to catch on, you insist further, telling him- "no! no really I can do it myself, please-"

A few dozen fruitless protests later, you've won.

Somehow.

Mingyu tried his best, although in vain, and now he's got you sitting on the couch as he scrambles to tidy up to the best of his abilities.

But of course, he should have known.

With your level of patience, it was only a matter of minutes before your curiosity got the better of you and led you straight into the bedroom.

"hey, you really don't have to bother so mu-" you start as you walk in, freezing at the door when your eyes glance over what once was your bedroom.

With a bunch of your t-shirts tucked away under his arm and a couple more scattered over his pillows, Mingyu halts his actions, paralysed.

The air is damp and clammy and it stinks of your perfume- strong enough to give you a headache. It feels as if time itself has stilled, as if it hasn't moved past that night you spent together.

Your bra is still in the corner of the room, your slippers are still at the foot of the bed, your pillow still has tear stains at the edge; it's like you were here just yesterday.

You're... appalled.

You've never seen Mingyu like this before. For a man with as much pride as him, this is a complete shift in his narrative. He looks pathetic, standing in shock, clutching your clothes to his chest as if they'd fade if he didn't hold on tight enough.

Seeing him like this should bring tears to your eyes. He is- was- the love of your life after all, wasn't he?

But it doesn't.

Blinking twice, you look past him as if he were made of glass.

"I'll wait outside."

Your tone is icy- frigid. It makes his hair stand.

"you don't understand-" he pleads, rushing towards you as he drops the clothes in a hurry, "I was just-"

"no, I get what's happening, Mingyu." you dismiss, stepping back with his advance.

Helplessly, he pants, arms itching to reach out and pull you close, but he holds himself back. Every cell in his body yearns to touch you, to feel the warmth of your skin, to love you and repent under your alter day after day until his body gives out.

It appears, however, that you're no longer willing to give him that chance.

They say that pity is given least to those who create the situation they've fallen victim to. A self-made problem doesn't seem quite as unfair as one that arises when the universe simply deals you a bad hand.

And this... Mingyu's done this to himself. He's the cause of his own misery and for some reason, realizing this frees you.

"I shouldn't have come-" you mutter, turning around to walk back outside.

Your heels clack against the cold marble floor, echoing over and over in Mingyu's head. This can't be happening again. You can't leave him again.

Forcing out a sharp exhale, he strides over to your departing frame, taking hold of your wrist. Mingyu's grip is firm as he tugs you back, preventing you from taking a step further.

"Mingyu."

Your voice is a warning.

When he doesn't let go, you twist out of his grip forcefully and yank your hand back.

"just- just listen to me, okay?" he urges, stepping towards you. "I've been a fuckin' mess this past week and- and I realized that I- god, I need you"

You stay silent, watching him with cold, dead eyes.

"I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think- Y/n I can't do this without you. I can't live without you," Mingyu eyes you cautiously, awaiting your reaction, disheartened when he receives none.

"okay. I fucked up. I know I fucked up, yeah? I thought I could be the bigger person and let you walk away, but I can't. I can't bear the thought of you not being here with me, I can't think straight when you aren't by my si-"

"are you done?" you interrupt.

His brows scrunch up in confusion, before deepening into frustration.

"am I done?" he echoes, voice raising. "am I done?"

The bored, far-away look in your eyes makes his chest feel heavy and before he can control himself, he does the unthinkable-

"I'll try, Y/n." he trembles, getting onto his knees, "I'll try over and over, beg for your forgiveness again and again, apologize until I can't say anything else- and I won't stop until I get you back home."

You stare down at him, kneeling pathetically before you.

"an apology won't change the past, Mingyu. you're bearing your cross, and I'm not going to help carry it. after all you've done, I still decided to make sure that you were alright- that you were alive at least-"

"baby please-" he tries to interrupt, but you silence him, holding a finger out in front of his face.

"I'm talking." your eyes harden, "and I'm not- don't call me that."

He hangs his head, nodding, and lets you continue.

"despite everything, I came to be the bigger person and see to it that you're okay, so that your family can finally sit easy- but god, Mingyu I don't even know what you're doing right now."

Mingyu presses his palms together, holding his hands in prayer, and mutters a soft- "I'm sorry"

You sigh.

"I know you are. I just- I just don't... care. You reek of self-pity- you're-you're stuck in the past trying to bring me back with whiffs of my perfume and my clothes- do you not know how fucking pathetic you look right now? how dare you make yourself the victim, when I'm the one that got cheated on? this is hard for you- of course it is, divorces are never easy- but have you stopped for one goddamn second to think about what I've dealt with?"

He stays silent.

"I was the one that heard her call. I heard about the fucking- what was it- the 'set' you requested. I had to watch you leave, knowing that you were headed into the arms of another woman. I read your texts saying you'd be home late cause of work, fully aware that you were with her."

Your eyes begin to water ever so slightly, and Mingyu shuffles to get up and wipe your tears, but you shut him down.

"don't-" you grimace, pointing your finger down, "don't you dare get off your knees."

Steadying yourself, you continue.

"knowing all of this, I let you love me."

Mingyu looks up at you, tears falling from his eyes. His fingers twitch by his side, wanting to wipe his tears, but he keeps still.

"I saw the marks she left on you and decided that it was still okay. that's how much I loved you. that's how goddamn desperate I was to have you close. and after it was done- after I let you have me, knowing damn well I wasn't the only one- I felt disgusting. every spot you touched left marks that wouldn't come off no matter how hard I scrubbed. whatever you said clung to my mind and all I could think of was how she must've heard the same things. my pride, Mingyu. that's what you took from me. anyone can heal a broken heart- but this? building myself back from the ground up? I-"

"and it's all my fault..." you hear him whisper, thick tears dripping onto the floor below.

"it's all your fault."

After a moment's silence, you step away, dabbing at your eyes. Big girls don't cry.

"you've broken something you can't fix, Mingyu," you spit, "don't delude yourself into thinking a shattered vase can hold water just 'cause you pieced it back together."

His tears give way to heavy sobs, sounds of pain and helplessness echoing through the house and Mingyu collapses further, pressing his palms to the floor.

Hearing your words flipped a switch somewhere deep within, and finally he realized the gravity of his actions.

A million words run through his head. All the things he should say, the things he wants to say, dart to the tip of his tongue, but he bites down hard to keep them in.

You've said your piece and from what he's heard, you're not coming back. It's up to him now, to make this easier for you. He can either beg and plead and cry and make you feel like the bad guy, or, he can let you go.

He can watch you leave, once and for all, knowing he won't cause you any more pain.

A watery smile makes its way to his lips as Mingyu lifts his chin. His lips quiver terribly, stretching to accommodate a half-convincing smile.

"a broken vase, huh?" he trembles, blinking away tears, "I think I can see some of the cracks healing already"

Your heart clenches momentarily, unable to bear the sight in front of you. He's trying to be strong for you, trying to hold himself together so you won't have to see him crumble in the end.

As much as he deserves to feel this way, you can't bring yourself to leave. Not like this.

One last time, for the sake of the love you shared, you reach down and place your hand on his cheek, brushing your palm tenderly against his damp skin. Mingyu nuzzles into your touch pressing his skin to yours, committing how you feel to his memory.

His eyes flutter closed and his brows furrow, giving way to a single tear drop. It slips down his cheek, pooling under his jaw for a second before plopping softly onto the ground below.

"I would've loved you like they do in the movies," he says quietly, letting out a shuddery breath. "till my heart burst from abundance, till my breath stopped with time."

You can't help the tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill with his words. They blur your vision, setting the world in glass for a moment before you blink them away.

"I know," you whisper.

The heat radiating off his skin takes you back to that night, and you close your eyes. He was warm and soft and sturdy, his lips cradled yours with just enough desperation, his arms made you feel safe and secure... until they didn't.

For a few moments, you stay like this- caressing his cheek in silence-before re-gaining your footing. This isn't how things are supposed to go. You draw your hand back, watching as Mingyu's face chases after it with a look of pure despair, and you clear your throat.

He watches in horror as your lips move to say-

"goodbye, Mingyu."

But his ears ring so loud he can't even hear the words coming out of your mouth. The sharp metallic clanging in his head cuts off your voice, and his eyes widen.

These are you last words to him.

Your last words, and he can't hear them.

This is the last time you'll say his name, the last chance he'll get to burn your voice into his heart.

As you turn swiftly and head for the door, he scrambles towards you, reaching out to grasp whatever he can. Crawling, Mingyu manages to grab the edge of your trousers, gaining your attention. You gasp.

"what are y-"

"say- say my name one last time-" he pants, "please."

You sigh sadly, pulling out of his grip.

"I think we both know that it's best I don't"

And with that, you leave him a crumpled heap on the floor. Mingyu reaches out, grabbing the air as your footsteps fade to silence. With his arm outstretched and his head hung low, he looks like a renaissance painting- like an angel fallen from grace, clinging desperately to the Lord as he begs for forgiveness. The deeply etched creases in his forehead, the swollen red bags under his eyes, the uncontrollable tremors in his hands- they tell the tale of loss.

You move swiftly, not sparing him even a glance over your shoulder as you exit what once was your home for the last time. You feel your shoulders straighten, a heavy burden lifted with each step you take further away.

Walking out gives you a surge of confidence, something you haven't felt in a while, and you smile to yourself.

I think... this is how you heal.

As for Mingyu, healing seems far off. He'll go on to spend his days unable to look at another woman without thinking of the best he's ever had.

You.

[surfinminho]

Tell me

Genre: Suggestive(?), angst

Warnings: Chan is readers ex, gn!reader, fwb

Word count: 780

_________________________________________

"you want water?" He asked. You hummed in reply staring up at the ceiling.

You always liked pillow talk. Specifically with Chan. It was always different, funny or quiet a. It interchanges every time.

You aren't supposed to be here though. No where near him.

He dumped you 2 years ago over text. Yea he knows that was a bitchy move. He deserved all the hatred you can give to him.

Regardless, as soon as he sends you a birthday text it was hard to deny you still had feelings for him. 

You didn't mean for it to happen. One thing led to another and you guys ended up naked in your bed.He fucked you the same way he always did. Till' you guys broke it off of course.You do miss him and the sex. Maybe not the way he would constantly ignore you, going days if Not weeks not uttering a single word to you.

He wasnt a great boyfriend but you couldn't help but like him more than you ever did.

It's pathetic really. All your friends tried to get you to stop liking him. Even set you up with other guys! But nothing worked, you wanted Chris back.

So when you end up in his bed for the nth time. You wonder. Wondered if this whole "friends with benefits" thing is even going to work out.

Staring at the ceiling, you let out a rough sigh with worries him.

"What's up?" Voice laced with sleep, even though he's not getting any.

"Chan, be honest with me. Can you do that?" You sit up slightly to face him in his eyes.

You see him nod before continuing.

"Why did you break up with me." you were genuinely curious. Even with the amount of small petty fights you guys would have, your love was never lost. People even referred to you guys as soulmates. Its like you guys were meant to be.

To randomly break it off, hurt and confused you.

"I.." he trails off like he's trying to make up an excuse. An excuse to not hurt your feelings.

"Making up excuses. Nothings changed has it." You scoff turning around.

"There is no excuses, '__'. I loved you I did it's just-" you cut him off before he could finish his stupid confession.

"Reject me."

"What?"

"I said reject me. I need you to reject me so I can move on with my life." You turned to the nightstand to check the time.

"1:36 A.M" you weren't supposed to be here. Lying next to him in his bed. Naked, With the feeling of unreciprocated love deep in your chest.

" __ , I can't say I don't like you, I love you. But I just can't date you." He grabs your hand and entangles it with his own.

You felt your heart drop. You wanted to be with him for ever. For eternity even. You still loved him, even after two years.

"I broke up with you, because of you. For you. I can't stay with you without feeling any guilt. I hardly saw you, we would go weeks without talking for fucks sake." He paused to take a slight breather. Not wanting to get mad over something so little.

"I can't say this enough, I love you."

"You do?"

"I do love you"

"This isn't what love is Chris." you didn't want to cry. Cry over a conversation you started. Unfortunately, Crying was inevitable.

"We can't be together, I don't want to hurt you" he tried to reason.

"You don't get to make that decision. You aren't hurting me. I still need you." By this point, you were ready to breakdown in his arms. You had to stay strong, not to let your emotions take over this stupid thing you want to call a conversation.

"I was a bad boyfriend. You deserve someone who can be there for you, always talking to you, keeping you company when it's late at night. I am not that guy. Believe me baby I want to be with you. It wouldn't work out." Was he crying? He didn't know. He didn't know what he felt. All of it was just mush.

"You are that person. You are, please." You were begging at this point. Begging for someone to see themselves like you see them.

You swing a leg over his lap to get closer to him.

"For us, please." Your voice was barely above a whisper.

He doesn't say anything. Instead he looks you in your eyes, grabbing your chin before kissing you.

His hands slipped around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. You felt him press his lips deeper into yours before pulling away.

"We can try."

[calicomarie11]

Chat 2

DartKing: Someone just asked me for a dick pic and it reminded me of you. Why are men like this?

GrimmReader: Unless I’m reading your profile wrong, you are a man so I don’t know what to tell you.

DartKing: What’s wrong with wanting a little romance? At least ask my favorite color or dinosaur before you try for a glimpse down my pants.

GrimmReader: What’s your favorite color?

DartKing: Ha, ha. Yellow, by the way.

GrimmReader: Hunter Green

DartKing: That’s very specific.

GrimmReader: I prefer precision. If I just said green, you might think I’m the type of person who likes lime green or avocado green or pea green.

GrimmReader: Favorite dinosaur? I haven’t heard that one before.

DartKing: My son went through a dinosaur phase and that was always the first thing he asked new people.

GrimmReader: My daughter has been obsessed with skeletons lately, so she’d probably ask what your favorite bone is.

DartKing: Now that is a loaded question.

GrimmReader: And now that I read that back I realize how that could be misconstrued. I really didn’t mean that to be dirty.

DartKing: No worries, I know you didn’t. So how old is the little princess?

GrimmReader: She’s 4 and more of a warrior queen than a princess. Your son?

DartKing: Turning 10 before I know it. He lives in the states with his mom.

GrimmReader: I’m sorry. My daughter lives with her mother most of the time and that’s hard enough. I can’t imagine her being on the other side of an ocean.

DartKing: Thanks. We FaceTime everyday and text. I go back whenever I get the chance. It’s not ideal, but I don’t have a lot of good options right now.

GrimmReader: Must be some job to keep you here.

DartKing: I’ll say. It’s like nothing I’ve ever done before. The people make it worth it and the money’s not bad either. Not that money is the most important thing, but it is nice to be able to fly first class when I go back to the states. And to be able to afford the big LEGO sets for my kid.

GrimmReader: I can’t say I’ve ever flown first class. My job typically books the cheapest travel options available or makes me drive myself.

DartKing: To be honest, I feel weird about it. I keep wanting to offer my seat to the flight attendants and go serve drinks so they can have a break.

DartKing: I didn’t exactly grow up in a first class family. I keep thinking I should find some charities to donate to, but I also don’t know how long this job will last and I want to bank enough to not worry about college tuition. Plus, alimony and child support.

DartKing: That I’m happy to pay, no mistake.

GrimmReader: I get it. I felt so guilty over my divorce I let her keep the house.

DartKing: Same. Although moving to London did factor in to the decision.

DartKing: so…your ex is a woman and you have a 4 year old but your profile says gay.

GrimmReader: is there a question in there?

DartKing: seems like there’s maybe a story there …

GrimmReader: A story for another time. It’s getting late and my daughter will be waking me up all too soon at an indecent hour.

DartKing:Got it. night, night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.

GrimmReader: Don’t even joke about bed bugs. Good night.

DartKing: Good Night. Chat again soon?

GrimmReader: Sure.

Read on AO3

[sameoldrigmarole]

We need to talk about Friend-zoning

No one will read this, but I need to get it off my chest. Friend-zoning needs to stop.

In the recent past, I changed jobs. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. However, to an ex-coworker, this apparently made me a target.

I’ve known this boy (I call men, men, when they act like it) for 4 years. I’ve never treated him any different than any other person I’ve worked with. Because I wasn’t a raging bitch to him from the start we just have a “connection”.

It started with him texting me when he was drunk. I’d blow it off and tell him to sleep it off. It progressed to texting me at a work function I was invited to while his wife was on his arm (did I mention he was married?). I again asked him how many drinks he’d had and when he insisted he was being sincere I, gently but firmly, told him we would never be more than friends.

The way he turned so quickly. “I really feel a connection with you and I know you feel it too.” Strike one was telling me how I should feel. He only knows me through work. He’s never seen the real me. Honestly strike one should have been trying to hit me up when he’s MARRIED. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Then he tried to imply I wasn’t interested in men. Like there’s no way in the world he could ever be turned down, I must be a lesbian. Sir, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’d honestly prefer a woman to speaking with you at this point. But I’m asexual. I don’t give a shit about anybody, but that’s none of your damn business and I don’t have to explain myself to you. Not to mention he’s 13 years my senior and MARRIED. Strike two.

I SAID NO. But when has that EVER been enough.

He started texting me in the middle of the night last weekend. I realized the day was coming where I was going to have to be professionally mean. I didn’t respond to the texts stating that he wanted to see me “can you get away?” As if I’m the one that’s sneaking around. He texts again two days later “why didn’t you text me back?” I was sleeping and I don’t owe you anything! He had the audacity to tell me there was no way I was asleep. Boy! I’ve made every decision to NOT have you in my bed. Are you seriously trying to tell me why I didn’t respond.

And you’re thinking. Why entertain this? Why don’t you just tell him to fuck off? Well, the industry I’m in, I can’t lose the connections I have at my old job. Not in a bad way at least. So I’m doing everything I can to not turn this into a bad situation for either of us. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s life here.

TODAY he texts me while I’m at work in meetings all day. “Let’s go get a drink tonight.” I didn’t respond right away. I’m at work. I don’t have time for the bullshit. If no one’s dying, I’ll talk to you later. This fucker texts me an hour later saying “I’ll take that as a no, sorry I won’t bother you anymore.”

Strike three.

One thing that people don’t know/understand about me, I do everything I can to make time for people. I’ve always felt like I’ve bothered those around me. Call it childhood trauma or whatever. This was possibly one of the worst things someone could say to me. I go out of my way to make sure people don’t think I’m bothered by them. This was my tipping point. It infuriated me and I don’t take things sitting down. I put it out there. Told him I wasn’t going to apologize for not getting back to him when I was at work. I’m neither his wife or girlfriend. I owe him nothing. I’ve now said multiple times that this wouldn’t go further than a friendship and I’d hoped that he would respect me enough to accept that and not accuse me of being bothered by him when I make time for people when it’s genuine. And I told him that saying that and treating me this way hurt and I don’t deserve it.

He went off. Apologizing if I misunderstood him and telling me that he would appreciate it if i stopped speaking about it because it’s getting around the office. Boy! I’ve spoken to you. Sorry if you can’t stop running your mouth. And what’s with the gaslighting. I have the receipts. There’s no misunderstanding what you were doing.

But back to the main topic. The whole time he accused me of friend-zoning him. Because I was friendly? Because I listen when people talk? I never asked for anything from him. Never lead him into thinking that this was anything more than friendship, but I’m doing him wrong because I didn’t give in and go out with him? I cared more about my female coworkers than I ever did about him, but I’m the problem because he’s delusional?

Stop saying you’re friend-zoned. YOU misinterpreted a situation. It sucks. It doesn’t feel good. But just own up to it!

We are not to blame for your hurt feelings if we didn’t know or reciprocate them in any way.

I refuse to be villainized because I didn’t go along with a predators schemes. Because that’s all this was. He was trying to manipulate me into doing something that I didn’t want to do. Does that make men feel better? Having a girl give you a sympathy lay because they feel bad for you? Does that not make you feel as small as you are?

Get yourself out of the damn friend-zone and grow the fuck up.