#i will admit him just being a fucking monster cus he can is honestly pretty funnny & even fun if you will

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

We be trolling in the 80s

[simplive]

not really a req, but a thought: do you think (since you wrote scens for them), and of the mob boss! au dream team would ever fall in with w. reader? how would they go about falling in love? ( is this anonymous lol i can’t tell sorry )

indeed i can !! there is still love in them, damn ya love that au.. guess ya love to see it. maybe ill do relationship hcs next time, i just touched lil in here

DREAM.

dream is scared of love. it’s something he hasn’t given even a thought at all this whole time. that wasn’t important at the time, wasn’t supposed to be, and yet he finds himself wanting to do things with you that seem so farfetched. no one’s ever heard of a player, and a monster sharing an intimate relationship. never able to bring it up during conversation, having a hard time looking at you in the eyes, making up excuses for him to leave ─ everything seems difficult now. way challenging than fighting off curious individuals who look up at him as a reward. so he starts to ignore you for the next few days.

do not be discouraged by that, someone is in need of a bit of time. he’s busy trying to come up with an answer of his own, desperately searching. surely these feelings will fade away on its own if he doesn’t pay them any heed... but that doesn’t work. dream’s mind still drifts to you, and he’s about a second or two from deciding to kill you to end this juncture ─ until another friend notices him seething internally at the corner of their eye.

it’s good ol’ george. he takes the time to tell his disgruntled peer that everyone adores someone at some point. there’s nothing wrong with falling in love, and it is okay to do so, even if there is no one to catch him. no need to be disheartened about the drastic differences. if you two mutually return the same desires, are you two able to overcome the toughest of obstacles.

all in the name of love.

takes him a few more days to confess to you in the most mundane way, but you’ll accept because it takes a lot of work to admit such things like this so openly.

[ relationship ting. ]

super duper protective, like, almost to the point where it’s honestly a little extreme. he should know you can handle yourself alone, it’s been proven when you defeated him for the first time... but these haunting thoughts won’t ever cease away. so don’t complain whenever he starts bickering at you for not being careful enough when getting yourself hurt, might even consider trapping you in a base if the paranoia gets too much.

GEORGE.

george is unsure at the start, is it possible for you to love him back? an entity who was meant to prevent you from reaching your goal by killing you, ending the last chapter in your life... though he hasn’t, as did you too. but how can he not catch some sort of interest for you if you visit his temple three times a week, ensuring that loneliness and boredom cannot get to him ─ he truly appreciates a lot of things you do.

although, when he catches that pretty smile of yours, he learns to accept it. i mean, what can possibly go wrong?

the worst thing is for you to not feel the same, which is entirely okay, but george probably won’t be able to face you afterwards. the awkwardness will soon eat at him, and eventually start to distance himself noticeably. can you blame him? rejection is something he has yet to come to understand. fortunately though, player seems just as happy to hear about the news so he doesn’t have to deal with the repercussions ─ just the whole, relationship thing. you are both new at it cus adventurers and mobs don’t typically fall for one another, and that is alright.

guess only time would tell.

[ relationship ting. ]

gentle as always, nothing new. just, expect to be pampered and cherished a lot more than usual, he will not shy away from that. in the waters, don’t expect any mob to hurt you anymore now that they know now that you’re involved with their boss. they’ll get something far worse than death :))

SAPNAP.

unlike the rest, sapnap has no qualms against his feelings. he’s already come to terms with it as soon as realization hits him, there’s nothing wrong with feeling like a normal person. nobody can tell him that this isn’t going to work, their throat ain’t gonna work anymore if they keep talking that stupid shit any longer. fixing to straight up ask you out on a... date? is that what people called it, yeah, a date to clear some dungeons. not so romantic but, who the hell has the time to set up one?

not sapnap, he’d rather impress you in other ways.

will probably play it as a joke if you dismiss his feelings, still hurt tho too, maybe a bit spiteful about it as time passes by. not as much mischievous, his whole demeanor just changes, a lot less welcoming. probably best to just either stop being friends at that point...

but, of course we know that player feels just about the same as him in this case. no angst right now.

[ relationship ting. ]

still chaotic as ever, takes it as his goal to annoy the fuck out of you which means smothering you in all types of love. suffocating hugs, stealing kisses, all sorts of affection cus he know damn well you ain’t gonna try to stop him. some play fighting cus he wanna test your strength here and there to see if anything changed in the past few months, but that eventually shifts into a short make out session.

[asterekmess]

1-4 What the fuck is a true alpha? A recurring joke? A convenient plot armor? A desperate attempt to make an irrelevant character look ‘relevant’ despite canon showing otherwise? Scott/Posey Stans think that Scott McCall has a right to command and dictate everyone’s life because he is a tWuE aLpAhA; Scott has a right to play judge, jury & executioner with his “inferior” friends, and he has a right to determine what is wrong or right based on his own benefit and bigoted black and white mentality.

2-4 If you think that this sounds an awful lot like the Divine Right of Kings, you are absolutely right. An unearned (and undeserved) mystical superiority or blessing, a fabricated sense of purity, goes a long way in ameliorating Scott McCall’s Failures and Fuck-ups. And like kings who rule by Divine Right, he can do as he likes. Which is why Scott can patronize and lie to Allison and Kira to control them, assault Isaac and Jackson due to his own pathological jealousy and possessiveness,

3-4 use Hayden (Liam’s girlfriend) as bait against the Dread Doctors without her consent to play the hero, dehumanize Stiles and accuse Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer for daring to accidentally kill his abuser in self-defense, sell Derek and his Pack to the hunters, refuse to tell his girlfriend Allison the truth about her mother’s death to look ‘good’ in her eyes,

4-4 plot/conspire with Gerard Argent and Deaton behind everyone’s back to violate Derek Hale’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent for his own benefit, claim that the Argents had a reason to slaughter the Hales (including HUMANS and CHILDREN) in front of Derek Hale and of his comatose uncle – and then Scott/Posey Stans will consider everyone kicking Scott’s whiny, toxic excuse of an ass to the curb and not giving an utter crap when Scott died in Season 5 as an act equivalent of treason

I put all your asks together so I didn’t get confused (which is v likely to happen) and I thank you for numbering them for me. <3

The concept of a true alpha...sigh. Look, I see the intention, okay? I see the goal, the idea that you don’t have to kill someone to become an Alpha. That there can be “Good” Alphas who haven’t killed anyone. But I also think it’s lazy writing. This is one the few instances where TW hadn’t actually shot themselves in the foot yet. They gave us so little information on werewolves that they never actually said that the only way to become an Alpha was by killing another Alpha. They could very easily have said “Also, you can become an Alpha this other way” (Be it by passing the Alpha spark down to children willingly, or being beaten in a special kind of combat, or through a ritual of some kind)

But they didn’t just want another way to be the Alpha. They wanted a way that didn’t take any effort. It would be too hard to introduce another Alpha that would give up their spark to Scott, or to have him put in the effort to do a ritual. They needed a way to make Scott an Alpha without any additional effort. Part of me honestly wonders if they did it because they knew they’d lost a lot of Scott fans by the end of Season 2, what with all of his betrayals and lies and what he did to Derek. They needed a way to reaffirm that Scott was the good guy, so they made up the True Alpha thing and said “Look! He’s so pure and goodhearted and he has so much good will, that he can’t even help but become an Alpha”

They demonized werewolves by reducing them to murderers who had to kill for power (In Derek’s case it was survival, and i’ll fight for him.) and then held Scott up as a saint because he managed it without killing.

Except that he had killed. Or at least tried to kill. How could he be this pure person they claimed if he spent weeks poisoning a cancer patient, lying to everyone around him, and he took Pleasure in it. He was Proud of himself for his lies and his tricks and for getting back at Derek by hurting him. That’s the kind of behavior we expect from Stiles, who is established as a morally gray character. You cannot have Scott do something like that and then make the claim that he is morally pure.

Once Scott finds out from Morrell that killing someone will take away his True Alpha status, he goes out of his way to avoid killing people even when it puts others at risk. This ISN’T an Avatar moment, okay? He doesn’t summon the power of his ancestors and render the villains completely incapable of harm. He just fucking lets them go! Deucalion gets his fucking eyesight back for fuck’s sake. He was MORE dangerous than before and they let him go! (I know Derek was part of that, but I’m pretty sure Derek was possessed by a pod person by that point)

He never said he’d behave. No one checked on him or watched to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone. They just let him leave. He could’ve just rebuilt a new Alpha pack. Could’ve killed dozens more people.

Jennifer would have too, had Peter not killed her.

Even better, he brings Ethan and Aiden into his pack. They walked right up to him and told him “Everyone is hunting for us because we killed a ton of people” and he just took them in? Gave them protection from the families of the people they’d slaughtered? All because they followed him around for a bit and said “We’ll only kill for you from now on.”

And this is why I get so frustrated about the blue eyes. The concept of ‘taking an innocent life’ is so fucking vague? Scott is indirectly responsible for countless deaths throughout the show. Whether by inaction or because the people doing the killing were acting on his orders, or whatever the fuck else I can’t think of at the moment. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t intended to kill anyone. He should not still have his True Alpha status. Period. But he does, so apparently Scott can kill as many people as he wants, actually, so long as he doesn’t do it with his own claws and teeth. Or maybe he just can’t kill a human who hasn’t killed anyone else? Who the fuck knows.

I’ll say it again. If The Alpha spark can be used to heal someone, why didn’t Scott use it to save Allison? She wasn’t cursed. She was stabbed. He could’ve done the same thing Derek did. Peter even said that it can be done on accident. All it requires is that he do the pain drain and not stop when it starts to hurt.

To be quite honest, I don’t blame Scott’s True Alpha eyes for his entitlement and his belief that he can do no wrong. He held that same notion way before his eyes ever turned red. The eyes are to blame for no one else calling him out for his actions. You’re told by the only fucking person who seems to know what’s going on in the supernatural world that this kid’s eyes turned red all on their own because he is meant to be an Alpha. That it’s because he is good and pure and it’s a sign of his worthiness. He literally was just gifted extra power, apparently because he’s the only one worthy of it. How the fuck are you supposed to deal with that? Are you supposed to be the one person who tells fucking Werewolf Jesus (technically Derek is Actual werewolf jesus what with the evolution thing, but before that Scott’s as close as it gets cus’ Peter’s just a zombie.) that he doesn’t know best? That he’s doing something wrong? If the Powers that Be made Scott an Alpha, what will they do to the one who tells him he fucked up? Everyone is just supposed to trust that Scott must be in the right. That his reasons are good enough. That he knows what’s best. Because if he doesn’t, then why the sudden Alpha eyes? Peter questions Scott often and happily, mostly because he doesn’t care if he gets struck by lightning or something. It’ll always be worth it to get that last quip in. Eventually Stiles starts to argue too, because he’s reached the point where he doesn’t care if he dies so long as everyone else important to him stops getting hurt. That’s when Scott starts cutting him out. When he stops believing Scott knows best.

And honestly, it’s like the first post I made that sparked this whole ranting binge. Scott cheats. He cheats and he uses his abilities to his advantage without ever thinking of what it does to other people. Except this time he’s not cheating at lacrosse. He’s not taking credit for bowling six strikes in a row. For some reason his eyes turned red, and everyone else is taking it as a sign that he must know better and he should be in charge, and he never disagrees.

Sure, he complains. “Why me? Why does it have to be my responsibility?”

Guess what buddy? It fucking doesn’t. If you stopped fucking ordering people around and admitted you don’t know what you’re doing to someone besides your MOM and you want someone else to take the lead? THEY WOULD. But because he will not admit any kind of weakness or that he isn’t sure what to do, he puts the weight on himself. He blames everyone else for the lead weights he tied around his waist. He doesn’t want to have to do the work, but he hates the idea of someone else being in charge. Of not being important. We’re told right off the bat that Scott wants to be important. He wants to be on first line not because he loves the game, but because he wants to be popular. He wants Allison to go out with him. This is just another way he wants to be important, and he won’t ever let go of it. He gives orders and makes calls on who gets to know what and who is worthy and won’t take responsibility for the failures, but happily takes credit for the successes. When he fucks up by not talking to people or by lying to them or making a bad call, he doesn’t admit it. He doesn’t tell anyone. He lets them think that he’s blameless so that when he actually says shit like “I lost them” someone will say “They’ll come back because you’re their leader” No. He’s not. He lost them because he pushed them away. It was his fault.

Whatever. I’m salty. *pouts* Anyway. True Alpha is dumb, and I’ve read a couple theories about how Deaton made it up, and tbh, I’d follow that logic. If you’re curious, I think I tagged it ‘true alpha’ or ‘deaton’ on my blog.

[arcadequeerz]

Zeno |Non Fandom OC|

tHIS Is zeno! Another of my v early Oc’s his info mentions another of my OC, Bloodloss, aka: piece of fucking shit(He’ll be posted next.)

Zeno stands just a Little under 5ft tall. Body type is quite frail and skinny. Body is covered in pure white, soft feathers. A few light grey feathers are mixed in with the white. They have a dragon like Muzzle, and the feathers down their muzzle have a very slight red tint to them. Has bandages on their muzzle that covers holes in the flesh that show bone. Muzzle ends in a rabbits like nose.

Left eye is a very dark purple, right eye is a very bright purple color. Pupils are like goats pupils. Atop their head they have a long cockatiel style crest of feathers. The feathers are a mix of white and light silver, and much like a cockatiel they are able to flip the crest up, or lay it flat against their head. The tip of the crest ends in a curl. On either side of their head they have two long feathered ears, the ears are wide towards the base, and are thin towards the tips, the ears are covered in soft, long feathers, the ones at the ears tips end in black. Their mouth is full of long, sharp teeth, and they have a long forked tongue thats red. On the back of their head, and down their neck they have fluffier feathers. These fluffy feathers go down along their spine and stop right before their tail.

!!Light Body Horror Warning!!

Tail is completely void of flesh, and is just white bone. Their tail is long, and at the tip of it it ends in a canine like skull with a longish muzzle. It has no Eye sockets and its jaws are filled with very sharp teeth. Moving their tail it makes a rattling like sound. Tail at times can have a mind of its own, likes to loudly snap its jaws shut making a loud CRACK like noise.

Like their tail, their feet are nothing but bone. Feet are paw like and have long, sharp talons on them.

!!Light Body Horror Warning end!!

Hands had rotten away at One point so they were replaced with metal hands, the fingers on these hands end in sharp claws.

!!Needles/Syringe Ment!!

Has a second set of hand they can switch the other out with, these hands are made of kinda rusted metal, and fingers are syringes that have long, sharp needles. Usually has very brightly colored liquid in the syringes vials. Able to pull out the viles from the fingers to replace them. Simply able to stab one into someone to inject whatever is in the vile into them.

!!Needles/Syringe Ment end!!

Zeno is in a constant state of rotting. They’re Constantly rotting and falling apart, their flesh tears and rips occasionally, usually along their spine and on their neck first.

They created a serum to use that delays the rotting but if they go too long without taking it they’ll start to rot and fall apart again. If they Do not keep taking the serum, they would rot away till they were nothing but bone.

Zeno is usually prettysickly, or generally very tired/not feeling well due to them constantly being in a state of decay. They hide how they feel really well though. Usually has a tired look to themselves. They also have a Awful memory, and are really Really bad at memorizing names,

Overall Zeno is a very energetic person, having transitioned from: so exhausted that they can’t stay awake, to being so tired their Awake as all hell. They’re a tad odd, very talkative but overall are quite friendly. Likes to crack jokes at people and could be described as ‘eccentric’. Hyper and rarely ever stops Moving.

They live currently with another one of my OCs, Matora, in their cabin. They care and love Matora very much.

For Zeno’s backstory I’ve been having trouble with thinking up one, I do have a idea for it, its not fully Fleshed out though.

Zeno used to be a very well known Doctor, best in the area they lived in. They saved Many people who were on 'deaths doorstep’ many times. They cheat death out of Many, many souls, and Death doesn’t like to be cheated, so Death visits Zeno, and curses them, cursing then to be eternally Decaying/rotting.

Death tells them if they kill, every single person they saved from their grasp, they’ll lift the curse.

In the beginning Zeno is so desperate not to rot away, they manage to kill a few of their past patients. But eventually, the guilt starts to eat away at them, and they no longer want to keep Killing innocent people. They can't bring themselves to keep doing it. They start to accept their fate, of simply decaying into nothing, and go back to their home, and lock themselves inside of the house to wait out until they've rotted away and die.

But instead of that happening, Bloodloss learns about the once doctor, turned rotten monster, and grows interested, they visit Zeno and offer them a opportunity to work for them, Zeno accepts.

Then Eventually, years later, Zeno’s usefulness to him runs out, and Bloodloss nearly beats Zeno to death, and leaves them for dead in the middle of the forest(Darkwood) where Matora lives. Instead of dying, Matora finds Zeno and takes them back to their home, where they fix Zeno up as best they can. After that he lets Zeno stay with him and the two become close.

Zenos a cliche character, I’ll admit that, doctor becomes Monster trope kind of thing, but their one of my First OCs i ever made (Matora being the first) and this whole 'rotting doctor Dude’ has been their Basic idea from start when i first created em

So I don’t rlly wanna change it honestly, their story might be changed up a lil later on if I figure it out better, but Thts the gist of it.

Zeno is Genderfluid, and their pronouns are they/them only. Their also very queer! Zeno loves wearing pretty clothing, they like wearing skirts and dresses, and also like to wear high heels. They usually wear a brown turtle neck sweater and pair of black pants though because they don’t always feel confident in wearing other clothing. Also Most of the time doesn’t wear shoes to cover their skeletal feet, unless they plan on going out in public.

Zeno has pretty bad anxiety at times, flares up randomly and makes them go quiet usually. They also have bad body image issues, and often see themselves as ugly, and nasty.

Both sets of their hands were made when they worked for Bloodloss.

Since their in a constant state of decay they usually feel cold, and also sometimes cant feel touch. These times happen randomly, they used to get real freaked out when they happened, but their used to it now. Since their usually cold, they love Warm things, likes wrapping themselves up in a heating blanket.

Zeno can make all kinds of bird like noises and can even mimic certain sounds, like cell phone ringtones, running water, and can make a laser beam noise (that they like to use to annoy Matora.). They can also make Really Loud bird like noises. Also like most parrots, they can make themselves look Really puffy, or v skinny.

Skinny zeno, with crest stood up = alerted/scared Zeno.

Puffy, fluffy, round Zeno = happy, content, comfortable Zeno! Also can sometimes mean their sleepy.

!!Abuse Ment!!

Zeno is Really scared of Bloodloss. Their relationship was..really Bad. and Bloodloss used and treated Zeno horribly, and they were to scared to say no to Bloodloss or try and get away cus if they tried, Bloodloss would get Real angry. Cus of this they have a hard time telling people No, or letting people know when they're uncomfortable or not ok with something. They also flinch a Lot with sudden movements, or when people raise their hands real fast.

The feathers on their chest, and upper stomach are a bit shorter then the rest, and look kinda messed up. This was from they were beaten by Bloodloss, who burned them on their stomach and chest. Under the feathers n down on their skin they have a large, burn scar. The feathers are very Slowly healing, but will always look a tad shorter/noticeable different then the rest of the feathers on their body. They also have Pyrophobia and hate the smell of things burning.

!!Abuse Ment End!!

If they hadn't worked with Bloodloss they’d never of been able to create the serum that delays their decaying.

[flaildoodles]

#Sidlinkweek: Day 4 - Uncertainty

I know, I know. Image doesn’t seem to fit the theme. I tried my hand at writing (because I didn’t want to draw ANOTHER comic today...) No idea if my writing is any good, so I sketched out my fav part of dialog real quick to make up for it if it’s shit <3

It wasn’t anything different from previous nights.

The railing he was sitting on cold beneath his fingers, but not cold enough to give any discomfort as he held onto it. After all, when given the choice of cold fingertips and the risk of falling to your death… there was no room to complain really. And maybe he should just stand behind the railing instead of sitting on it, but seeing his legs dangle so high above impending doom had some sort of charm to it as the mind wanders into the same old once again.

Mipha’s statue wasn’t far behind him, staring off into the distance. He hadn’t been able to look her in the eye (or, what was sculpted to represent it) as of late, whereas he’d normally feel better after sharing anything that bugged his mind, this was something he’d prefer to keep to himself.

Even with a hundred of years having passed, you don’t really tell your dead girlfriend you’ve got it bad for her brother…

A deep sigh, stating it like that didn’t make it any better.

Neither did the hand that suddenly placed itself on the railing, not too far from his own. A bright, crimson color and the blond already knew the phrase ‘speak of the devil and he is sure to appear’ had never been more fitting than it was right now.

“What wrong, my friend? You seem more… ‘quiet’ than usual.”

The Hyrule Champion bit the inside of his bottom lip, keeping a sigh from escaping as he leaned back, making sure he wouldn’t fall off as his hands carefully let go of the railing. He didn’t even look up to meet the other’s gaze as he signed.

[ It’s nothing really.]

As expected, this answer didn’t please the Zora in the slightest. It never did.

“Link, you are my friend. If something is bothering you to this extent, of course it is important… to me at least.”

A long silence played between the two of them. It was more nerve-wracking than anything, the blond fidgeting with his fingers as he seemed to go over his options in his head. For a small second, blue eyes glanced up to catch a quick glimpse of the prince, looking at him as intensely as ever. Sometimes the Hylian wondered if he didn’t have some kind of sensor, the way Sidon would always find him when he didn’t want to be found.

Someone up there must find his struggles rather amusing.

With a deep sigh, hands started signing once more, a little more shaky than he’d like them to be.

[ You know the feeling when you want something so so SO badly, but there is just no way you could actually ever have it? Like someone is playing some sick joke on you, just for a good laugh?]

“Ah…”

That last part seemed to apply to every bit of this moment, most moments in his life actually. For example, every time he’d think the worst had passed, something ten times as bothersome would be tossed at him instantly. Like that time he had finally cleared out that entire fort of monsters without taking any damage, and then went out to get his ass frozen in place by some Ice Wizzrobe.

Any pride he could’ve had instantly shattered.

Back from his thoughts to the real world, Sidon seemed to have turned his attention to his sister’s statue behind them. Staring at it quite intensely, a sad… no… ‘bothered’ expression on his face. After what seemed like an eternity, the taller of the two let out a sigh of his own before turning to look at Link once more.

“… This is about my sister, isn’t it?”

How he had gotten to that conclusion was understandable, they were only a few steps away from her statue after all. And the blond had to admit, he was being a little bit vague… on purpose of course. Though, maybe he should be a bit more forward with this, before he’d have the prince sinking off into memories of the past again.

[ It’s about you, actually.]

That sure seemed to drag the other out of his own thoughts relatively quickly.

“Me?! Goodness Link, why do you speak of me as if I’m the one that passed on? I see no reason for you to worry about such things!”

A little oblivious. Something he could find to be charming, but right now made it all the more difficult for him to just be blunt about it. Maybe with some more hints he’d figure it out without the obvious having to be stated.

[ You’re the only one next in line for the throne. Aren’t you bound to get married to some girl at some point?]

Something in that sentence seemed to have clicked the puzzle pieces together for the Zora, as his face changed into a mix of confusion and surprise for a moment, before he started laughing loudly. One clawed hand clutched at his stomach as the other held onto the railing, keeping him from toppling over. Soon enough, the prince straightened himself out again, voice shaking as he was obviously trying his best not to have another laughing fit.

“To be fairly honest, I will marry whoever I will damn well please, excuse my French.”

That sentence appeared to have given him the control again, clearing his throat to get the final ‘giggles’ out before continuing with his response.

“Besides, it’s not really something I have put my mind to yet, considering my father is alive and well. Goddesses, I wouldn’t even know what to do if he weren’t, I’m far from ready to follow in his ‘shoes’, so to speak. Mentally mostly. I’d have Muzu on my tail from dusk ‘till dawn, he already calls me ‘unprepared’ with every chance he gets. As I am right now, the throne wouldn’t suit me in the slightest.”

That idea seemed to humor him almost as much as Link’s remark had done before, though the blond still couldn’t really understand why it had been so funny? Heck, he couldn’t even figure out if the other had even realized what he was trying to get through the zora’s thick skull with all this. Might as well be as forward as he could be.

[… you DO realize I just… confessed to you, right?]

Another silence.

“Right… sorry…”

Leave it to the Zora prince to drop in an apology where it is not needed.

[ it’s okay.]

Link didn’t know why he responded to it either, probably just out of habit. In the meantime, the continuous silences where starting to get on his nerves more so than the time he couldn’t even take a nice stroll around the village without getting a bunch of monsters on him. Or worse, villagers with the most STUPID requests imaginable.

“”Find me ten crickets.””

Go find them yourself…

“You know, your words remind me of the one I kind of have my eye on.”

…

Oh.

Now this rollercoaster conversation was heading into a whole different direction. The Hylian was just hoping it wasn’t going to derail, as in, ‘please don’t crush my feelings like a grape’.

“No really! They’re the worst! They rarely respond to my letters, just waltz into the Domain whenever they please and claim absolutely all of my attention. It’s frustrating sometimes really, because they’re a handful, getting themselves into any bit of trouble you can imagine, in worse shape with every visit. I’d almost feel like I’m their medic sometimes!”

The red Zora spoke with as much enthusiasm as he did with pretty much every little thing. Luckily, Link wasn’t as oblivious that he needed much of a hint to whom those words were referring to. BUT… it was fun to give the other a little bit of payback… and playing dumb wasn’t the hardest thing to do.

[ Sounds like a hassle.]

He could barely contain the smirk that dared to creep up on his lips, biting his lower lip once again as to get any control over his facial muscles. For someone so often called emotionless or expressionless, he was terrible at keeping them from showing sometimes.

“Oh they sure are! Honestly, there’s moments where their stupidity and recklessness hits a peak, and I want nothing more than to strangle them with my own two hands.”

Now that, was hurtful.

Link turned to look at the other, obviously insulted and at the sight the other let out a quiet chuckle.

He knew the blond knew who he was talking about. And Link knew that Sidon knew… but chose to drive the ‘oblivious’ act to its absolute maximum and just tilted his head in fake confusion a second later, as if he still didn’t know who this was about. If only to see if it could piss the Zora of in any way.

“… But then there’s that smile, one so real, it just makes any negative feeling fade away instantly… as well as my heartbeat by the way… it’s quite concerning.”

The last bit of his sentence, Sidon put a hand on his chest where, presumably, his heart was beating underneath his ribcage. Giving Link a judgmental look, the blond couldn’t hold back a loud snicker, covering his mouth with a hand before signing at the other again; shaking where he sat as he tried holding back his laughter.

[So, WHO are we rambling on about here?]

A question that was answered with the biggest grin the Zora prince could possibly muster. One that just spelled out ‘As if you don’t fucking know, you little shit’. And goddesses did he love every little bit of it.

Another small moment of silence.

But not an awkward silence like the ones before. This was just the both of them appreciating the weightlessness of this moment, and Sidon awaiting somewhat of a response, probably.

[… it’s about me, isn’t it?]

“Maybe.”

Another chuckle escaped the blond’s lips, shaking his head slightly as his hands just kept signing.

[ You’re the worst.]

This seemed to only make Sidon’s grin wider, and that was definitely not a point of complaining. Though, maybe something to note down for the other later to not do that if he wanted his hyrule Champion alive and breathing.

“I thought we established that you hold on to that title pretty strongly.”

Link rolled with his eyes excessively, making sure the other would notice him doing so without having to make much of an effort to look at him directly. For the first time that night, the Hylian opened his mouth, a quiet, raspy voice coming out of curled up lips.

“Haha…”

The sound seemed to draw the other closer to him, distance clearing between the two of them as a hand placed itself on his shoulder. For a moment, the blond froze in slight fear, the thought of being pushed off the railing flickered in his mind for less than a second.

“My friend, your real laugh is a lot more pleasant to hear than whatever that was supposed to be.”

It wasn’t hard to notice the laughter being held back at the back of his throat as those words left his mouth. It made this whole conversation a lot more enjoyable, to know he could say anything from casual chitchat to some serious confession bullshit, and they’d still be laughing together all the same.

[ Then make me laugh.]

“Are you challenging me?”

[ No.]

“Darn, could swear that you were.”

[ Nope.]

The Champion contemplated his next words for a moment, before giving in to impulse, already seeing his hands move before he even thought of doing so.

[ Also, since when do you swear?!]

Bright golden eyes moved up to lock onto his own, the two of them just looking each other in the eye before both bursting into the umpteenth laughing fit. Sidon actually placing both his hands on Link’s shoulders and standing behind him now, to make sure the smaller male wouldn’t slide off the damn railing with how his body was shaking.

When they settled down eventually, Link tilted his head backwards to look at the other again. All was quiet, just stares and smiles, and for a moment he’d almost forget the whole conversation they just had, if it weren’t for the smirk appearing on the Zora’s face as he spoke.

“You DO realize I just confessed to you, right?”

Mimicking his own damn words from earlier.

Sidon could muster up whatever bullshit he wanted on Link being worse, whatever. But that darn prince was definitely just as bad of a terror.

[sanjipussyindulgence]

Bloody Ocean Waves: Chapter 3

All of the breath in my body left all at once. I could feel my heart rise to my throat. Keith was without a doubt the one holding me at sword-point. I mean I can feel him pressed against my back. And I’d recognize those abs anywhere. I knew this was unavoidable. It was only a matter of time but I didn’t expect it to come so soon. I’m going to die today by Keith’s hands. Or should I say sword? Hell, I don’t know how he’s gonna react. He might throw away his blade and then beat me to death. I mean it’s not likely but anything’s possible I guess. The real question is what I’d prefer. Definitely sword, it’d be faster and less painful. I mean I’d prefer to live but that is becoming less and less likely as the day goes on. I wonder if I don’t die right now how could this day get worse? Somehow I don’t think that could happen but I’ve been surprised before.

“LANCE!?”

Oh shit right, Keith’s talking to me.

“Y-yeah.” My adam's apple pressed awkwardly against the sharp blade when I spoke. “Yeah, it’s me.”

I felt Keith stiffen behind me. Speaking of which could he possibly back up a little? I really don’t want to feel him basically grinding on me in my final moments. Then again I once heard this phrase that was something along the lines of “The weak don’t get to choose how they die”. I’ve thought about that phrase a lot during my time in space. A weakling like me doesn’t get to die surrounded by my family like I’ve always wanted. Since becoming the Blue Paladin I’ve thought that I’d die on the battlefield. A battlefield millions of light-years away from everyone I’ve ever cared about. Instead, I’m gonna have to die uncomfortably close to Keith’s dick. Who would have guessed?

“Prove it.” He growled.

“You’re a dick.”

The sword pressed against my throat slowly moved away.

“Okay, it’s you.”

Once free I quickly stepped away from him and turned around. Keith had a firm grip on the handle of his sword but kept it lowered. His stance was clearly defensive but not aggressive. His bandaged hand was pressed tightly against his chest. It was clear that he was in pain, I just hope that he didn’t reopen his wounds. I mean I hope that he didn’t erase all of the hard work I put into taking care of him. I don’t care about his well being at all. Nope, not in the slightest he could drop dead for all I care. Anyway, this situation was, by all means, a surprise. Yeah, he knows that it’s me but he also knows that I’m a ghoul so why am I not dead? I avoided looking him in the eye.

“What happened?” To my surprise, he didn’t sound angry. He just sounded confused and… frail. This was wrong. Keith didn’t do frail. Keith’s an awesome pilot that does crazy stuff like fly through asteroid belts on the regular. He’s easily the best fighter out of all of us and Shiro’s right-hand man. Both figuratively and literally seeing as he forms Voltron’s right arm. He has been nothing but confident in both his skills and his decisions since we all became paladins. Seeing him this unsure was worrying. And those new drooping ears sure didn’t help the situation. Honestly, with that heartbroken face and those ears, I’d even go to say he looked cute. Like a cute little puppy dog, you had just kicked. Though to be fair the fact that he’s covered head-to-toe in blood and holding a deadly weapon sure negate that puppy dog effect.

I should probably answer him but… how? What exactly do I tell him? That I was born a monster but I’ve tried my whole life to be human? What does he even want to hear?! Fuck it I’ll just shrug that’ll probably work.

I bit my lip and gave him a half-hearted shrug. Well more like half-shouldered shrug since one of mine is completely unmovable due to excruciating pain. Keith’s grip on his weapon loosened and his lips tightened. He glared at me though it was lacking any actual anger, instead, he looked concerned? It’s kind of hard to tell with his new Galra-like eyes. At least he’s still got his pupils, I’ve only seen completely yellow eyes from other Galra. Pfft, I just came up with a funny pun, he “galred” at me. ‘Cus he’s Galra and he just glared at me. Haha, classic Lance. Right, serious conversation time Keith’s talking again.

“Lance that’s not an answer, what happened?!”

I didn’t want to admit it. Saying the truth out loud would make this all too real. I’ll just keep avoiding the question for as long as I can. “Alright alright calm down, we rescued Allura and you got injured while fighting Zarkon” I mumbled ‘big surprise’ under my breath “Then both of us were hit by some weird magical beam courtesy of Haggar. And then while we were warping away something went wrong with the wormhole and all of us were separated. After having a pretty rough landing myself I found you looking all Galra-like and patched you up, and now we’re here.”

“You know that’s not what I meant-” He paused while his eyes grew in fear. “What did you say?”

Oh no, please god no this conversation doesn’t need to get any more awkward. Please spare me one moment of peace. He’s got to know right? I mean how do you just not know that about yourself. I mean I would have never guessed but... Keith has to already know he’s Galra right?? Please don’t make me explain to Keith that he’s Galra. How am I this unlucky why is it always me in shitty situations like this? Might as well bite the bullet already, who knows maybe the universe will give me a break today and not force me to explain to my teammate that he’s a monster. Keith is strong, stronger than I could ever be, but anyone would break down when they realize that they’re part of the species that we’re supposed to be fighting. “That I found you looking all Galra-like?”

“Y-You’re joking right?” It sounded like even he didn’t believe what he was saying. Guess that confirms that theory. Keith didn’t know he was Galra and now I’m the bringer of existentially bad news. Man, this whole situation just sucks.

Then Keith caught sight of his hand. He dropped his weapon in shock and brought his hands to his face. His furry, purple, and clawed hands. The hands of a monster. He dropped to his knees and just kept staring at his hands blankly. His face was devoid of emotion. He just kept inspecting his hands. Like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His pupils were shrunk to inhuman sizes and his breathing panicked. Despite his fragile state he still refused to cry. Even in his toughest moments, he stayed stoic. I think he’s having a panic attack. How do I help him? I’ve helped Poco out of her panic attacks but Keith and she are completely different people. And I’m not that close with Keith I don’t know how to help him. I wish Shiro was here. Shiro was Keith’s adopted brother if I’m remembering what they told me correctly. Shiro would know just what to do. But I’ve got to try anyway.

“Hey, Keith budd-” I was cut off by him suddenly and violently scratching his hands apart. As if he could tear the fur right off of him. His new claws were doing serious damage to his already messed up hands. Purple blood started flowing from the new and deep wounds he had created. The sight of his blood only seemed to worsen his mood. He started scratching with even more force behind the movements. I had to stop him.

“HEY HEY WHOA!!” I screamed while I took him by the hand. He tensed up at the action as if I was hurting him. I loosened my grip in fear that I squeezed his already messed up hand too tightly. Ghouls are scarily strong, strong enough to accidentally break bones when all I want to do is a help. The moment my grip loosened he broke away from my hold and went to grab at his hair. But his hand brushed past his new ears. His lips tightened. He started clawing at his ears leaving deep gashes in the vulnerable flesh. I grabbed his hands without care for how strong my grip was. I held his broken hand in mine and the other with my kagune. I pinned his hands to the ground.

“Keith! KEITH!”

Now that he wasn’t ripping apart his ears I could see the damage. Both his ears and his hands were torn open showing just how sharp his new claws were. A large chunk of flesh was missing from his right ear. I could probably find it if I looked down. Keith was struggling under my grip but I kept him restrained. I was trying my hardest to not use too much force but with every second of struggling it seemed like it was my only option. After all, Ghouls are strong, but Galra can easily keep up with them when it comes to strength. I tightened my grip and called out to him again.

“Keith you gotta calm down!”

He wasn’t listening to me and I wouldn’t be able to hold him forever. I did the only thing I could think of. I smashed our foreheads together violently. He stopped struggling.

“Keith look at me.” I said seriously while making no room for protest. My temple was in a lot of pain, I ignored it.

He looked up and our eyes met. One pair a sharp and ugly red against pitch black. The other a deep indigo highlighted by an acidic yellow. Neither were human yet both would give anything to be.

“Repeat after me, alright?” I said before his attention could switch away from me. He slowly nodded while biting his lip. Poco always calmed down when I used this technique. Hopefully, Keith will react well to it as well.

“My name is Keith Kogane.”

“My name is Keith Kogane.” He repeated.

“I’m the pilot of the Red Lion.”

“I’m the pilot of the Red Lion.”

“A member of Voltron, defenders of the universe.”

“A member of Voltron, defenders of the universe.”

“I have a stupid mullet.”

“I have a stup- LANCE!” Damn, he almost fell for it.

“And I’m not a monster.” He hesitated to repeat after me. “Keith please.”

“And I’m not a monster.” He said at long last but it sounded dishonest. He wasn’t fighting me anymore. Instead, he was just sitting there looking lost and confused. It was pitiful to see such an incredible person at his weakest. If there’s a God out there he sure is a bastard, forcing such wonderful people to hurt themselves like this. Forcing them to be something that they never wanted to be. It’s funny that it took me this long to see his but Keith reminds me a lot of Poco. Both are undeserving of their situations. I wasn’t able to help Poco but I refuse to let Keith go down the same path. I would do anything to save him from himself.

“Could you let go of me?” He said in a tired tone.

“Only if you promise not to hurt yourself again.” He nodded softly. I reluctantly let go of him. He didn’t hurt himself but he didn’t move either. He just kept looking down at the floor. I extended my kagune to grab the med-kit lying on the other side of the cockpit. I slid it over to where we were sitting. I took a piece of cloth and soaked it in disinfectant. I softly took one of Keith’s hands and starting patching him up again. He didn’t protest.

Damn these are some serious scratches. Both of his hands were borderline mangled and drenched in purple blood. I pressed the cloth against his hand, he flinched but kept silent. I wonder if I should have cleaned the blood off first. Man, I really wish Poco taught me more about medical stuff. Once I figured that his wounds were clean I took another cloth and started wiping the blood off. Would be better if I had some water. Wait, I’m pretty sure Coran said that Altean bandages were waterproof during his med-kit explanation. That means I could clean myself off in the river without having to re-bandage anything. I would love to clean up after Keith’s better. Like seriously I’m sure being coated in blood isn’t good for my complexion. Once his hand was deemed clean enough I started wrapping it up.

I took his other hand and winced once I saw how bad it was. This was the hand that already broken, to begin with, so that was a good start. Keith really didn’t go easy on himself. For the most part, it looked like his other hand, deep gashes but nothing too serious. But there was one gash that was deep enough to reveal bone. I started patching this one up a lot quicker than I did the other hand. I pressed the disinfectant cloth into the wound and Keith jerked back in pain. I saw him bite down on his tongue to prevent a scream. I kept the cloth on regardless. I took another cloth from the med-kit and started cleaning up his hand.

“Haggar did this to us didn’t she.” I paused in my cleaning and looked up at him. I really wasn’t expecting Keith to speak up first.

“Yeah, she did.” I answered before continuing my rather poor patch-up job.

“We can’t return to the others like this.” I hummed an agreement.

“There’s got to be a way for us to fix this.” He continued.

“Maybe another druid could help?” I suggested.

“Maybe.” He mumbled while inspecting his bandaged hand with a weary expression. Guess he doesn’t trust in my ability to patch him up. Though to be fair I don’t either. I don’t have a clue to what I’m doing.

“Allura never mentioned that druid magic could do something as radical as a species change.” He said mostly to himself. Wait, what?

“Could you repeat that?” I paused in the cleaning of his wounds. There was no way what I think is happening is happening. The universe would never be so kind to me.

“I said that I didn’t know druid magic could change someone into something else?” He answered with a confused expression. Probably wondering why I would ask him to repeat that.

Oh my god, I can’t believe that something this good is happening to me. All of my good karma is coming together to create this one great act. Keith doesn’t realize that neither of us are human, he thinks this is completely due to druid magic. I have a chance to keep my secret. He doesn’t think I’m a monster. He still thinks I’m human. I can’t let him realize the truth I can’t let him know that I’m a disgusting freak. But this should be easy. I mean I’m already used to lying on a daily basis to the people I care about. All I have to do now is find a druid that can fix this while keeping the fact that neither of us are human a secret. Holy shit I could break into tears right now, it’s been a long day but things are finally looking up for me. Just have to keep the act up.

“Oh yeah! I mean I was super confused when I woke up like this.” I lied easily as I starting bandaging his hands up. He nodded his agreement but the action was cut short when he suddenly reached out and grabbed my shoulder. Honestly, I was surprised how gently he held me. He looked terrified and… concerned?

“Lance what happened to your arm!?”

“Hm? Oh, I had a bit of a rough landing, I’ll manage.” I waved his concern off.

“I’ll manage!? Lance, you lost an arm!”

I shifted out of his grip and returning to bandaging his hand up. If I act casual he won’t think it’s a big deal.

“It’ll grow back.” I said with a shrug.

That seemed to calm him down a bit though he still looked concerned for me. Though his concern was quickly replaced by discomfort.

“Oh, right.” He said awkwardly. He fidgeted slightly in his seat and avoided looking me in the eyes. Guess he doesn’t like being reminded of my “ghoulness”. Can’t really blame the guy, no one should be completely comfortable with a man-eating monster. Just goes to show how I need to do everything I can to keep the truth from him. Better switch the topic before things get even more uncomfortable. I’ll just start bickering with him like we always do, that’ll get rid of this serious mood.

“Took you awhile to notice, though.” I said slyly. “Guess you’re slower than I first thought.”

“I had other things to worry about.” He growled while his cheeks flushed a strange lilac color. Huh, I guess Galra do blush purple.

“Oh? So you’re admitting that you care more about yourself than me?” I said, though my words were lacking any real anger. Keith seemed to pick up on the fact that I was just playing.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He grumbled just as I finished bandaging his hand.

Now how do I treat his ears? Guess I’ll just wing it. I reached up and cupped his chin. He leaned into my touch, guess that means he’s letting me work on his ears. I moved his face to the side so I could get a better view of his wounds. His left ear had a few cuts on it but his right ear was missing a whole chunk of flesh. I gently dabbed the disinfectant on his cuts. He tensed at the action but stayed still enough for me to properly work on him.

“Man, you really owe me for this.”

“I feel like you should owe me.” He eyed his bandages with a raised eyebrow and a grimace.

“Excuse me! You don’t get to complain to the person who just saved your life.” I stopped cleaning his wounds so I could put my hand on my chest in an over-dramatic offense. He let out a huff of air in a mix of amusement and annoyance.

“You don’t have to do this you know. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Oh please like you could do this any better.”

“It’d be a challenge not to.”

“A challenge huh?” I eyed him with a raised eyebrow and a sly smirk. I planted the still wet cloth in his hand and he winced at the sudden pressure on his injured hands. But he didn’t let that wince show for long. In fact, a normal person wouldn’t have even spotted it. But I’d like to consider myself a pretty observant person. And I know that Keith can never back down from a challenge, no matter how pointless it was. Though to be fair I’m just as bad. Actually, I’m even worse considering I’m the one starting these challenges most of the time. But it’s not like I’d admit that to Keith, I’d never admit a lot of things to Keith.

“Prove it.” I said with a cat-like smile as I sat back criss-cross apple sauce and planted my chin on my hand, elbow resting on my thigh. I could feel my kagune wave lazily behind me. Keith rolled his eyes at my tendency to make everything into a competition. Whatever, he can roll his eyes all he wants but he’s still the one that agrees to my challenges. At least this will give me a chance to relax while Keith does all the work. Besides, Keith would be much better at this than me. Not that I’d ever admit that out loud. He’s just so naturally gifted at everything, well everything besides talking, but of course, he would be just as talented in medicine. Though that’s not too much of a compliment considering I’ve been doing all of this with only one hand.

Keith set to work immediately leaving no room for messing around. He took some of the patches used for smaller wounds and set to covering all of his cuts. I would have figured the regular bandages would have been better but now that I’m thinking about it I’m not exactly sure how you would wrap his ears without covering his eyes as well. I eyed his wounds wearily. Most of them would probably scar. I figured they’d look kind of like tiger stripes once fully healed. The lines thinning and thickening in an intricate pattern that covered most of his ears. I wonder if it’s possible for Ghoul’s to get scars. I’d love to have a cool scar like Keith will. Girls love badass looking scars. Something noticeable like on my face but not big or messy enough to be considered ugly. Something like a cut on my eyebrow. Keith is gonna get so much attention from those sweet looking scars. Though, I guess his ears would look a whole lot less cool once Human again.

Once his ears were properly bandaged he started ripping off all of his other bandages and re-wrapping his wounds. My expression soured but I kept quiet. Those bandages were just barely clinging to his form before. As much as I’d hate to admit it he really does need proper care. And even with damaged hands, he could deliver that much better than I ever could. Man, why is Keith so badass? He’s super injured and just had a panic attack but he isn’t letting him phase him at all. He’s even dressing his own wounds while I just sit back and watch. What did he do to become so great at everything? Why is he so much better than me in every way? I mean he’s a better pilot and a better fighter, plus he’s Shiro's favorite. When all of us were still on Earth Shiro was my hero and I always dreamed of getting his attention. And now that we’re all soldiers against our will I still lack his recognition. I mean I’m always trying my hardest but that’s always going to be nothing compared to Keith.

“Lance?” Oh looks like he finished redressing his wounds. And now he’s looking at me all concerned like. Damn, my expression must have given away my depressing thoughts. I can’t let this get to me, not in front of Keith. He doesn’t need another reason to see me as weak. I just have to stay strong until both of us are human-looking again.

“What’s up?” I hastily put on my signature smile and met his gaze. The moment our eyes connected he looked away from my face. My eyes must really freak him out and I can’t really blame the guy. I mean he must have been raised on scary stories about ghouls just like all other humans. Back on Earth ghouls lived hidden not out of personal choice but due to fear of death. All known ghouls were hunted and killed like wild animals. Even the “peaceful” ghouls that didn’t kill, like my family and I. It’s almost funny how humans were raised to fear ghouls yet ghouls were raised to fear humans even more.

“Never mind.” He muttered awkwardly. Keith has never been good at emotions. He dealt with swords and ships not talking and emoting. I guess a sincere looking smile is enough to ward off suspicion for now. Better change the subject before he could push me further.

“Hey, you’re one of those weirdos that prepare for the apocalypse right?”

“The term is survivalists but yes I am.” He looked sour at my comment about his weirdness. And I stand by my statement about him and his weird hobbies. Like seriously who spends their free time on stuff like cryptid hunting, conspiracy theories, and survival scenarios? He could be doing much more useful things in his spare time like actually taking care of that thing attached to his head he calls a mullet. I don’t think his hair has ever actually seen a shampoo bottle in his entire life. I mean that’s what I do in my free time, skin and hair care is no joke.

“So have you decked Red out with anything useful? Specifically a change of clothes and some towels?”

“Yes?” He said, clearly confused to why I was asking for such things.

“Because we, my now furry friend, are going for a dip.”

“A what?”

“We’re gonna go wash off.”

“Oh, yeah that’d be nice.” He said with as grimace as he looked down at his bloody and torn undersuit.

“So lead the way?” I got up to my feet and offered my hand to Keith. He took it and I pulled him to his feet. I looked down at him with a small smirk. Keith might be better to me than everything, receives Shiro's affection, and isn’t a bloodthirsty monster but at the very least I’m a good deal taller than him. Keith took off to the other side of the cockpit and crouched down to a large metal box that had been attached to the floor. Looks like he had Red’s cockpit modified just like I modified Blue’s. Nothing big but just a few additions that we felt were necessary. Pidge and Hunk probably helped him just like they helped me since those two were in charge of mechanical stuff.

The box was locked and Keith took the padlock in his hand. A holographic screen with a keyboard filled with Altean symbols projected from the lock. So it’s an Altean padlock then, I haven’t seen one before. The Altean language is complete nonsense to me in both spoken and written form. But I guess that’s to be expected from an alien language. Keith started typing in an over complicated password that really should have ended at the fifteenth symbol. But no instead it kept going until I had lost count of how many symbols long it was. How does Keith even remember this code? Why did he make it so long? Oh wait I know the answer to that question and it’s because he’s a paranoid weirdo.

Finally, the lock clicked open and the holographic screen dissipated. Keith opened the lid of the box and inside was everything you’d expect and so much more. To the left were a collection of knives bundled together by a piece of red cloth, four folded up ponchos which of course were all red, several boxes of matches, a catalytic heater and some bottled gas fuel, and finally a folded up red sleeping bag. To the right were four Altean first aid kits like the ones we had in our lions, three canteens all full of water, a water filter, a mass of canned foods which ranged from “Canned Corn” to “Canned Narsfluf Meat”, a large net, some kind of super advanced space radio, six red flares, a notepad and a box of pencils, and a compass. And underneath all of that were a collection of sharp weapons which included a Swiss Army Knife, a hatchet, a machete, and a pair of bladed brass knuckles?? What would you ever need bladed brass knuckles for?! Holy shit man, what else is in here? That half broken pencil I lost in third grade!? My little sister’s misplaced teddy bear!? My long gone self-esteem!?

“My god Keith how did you even fit everything in here!?”

“Practice.” He said with a stone cold expression while looking me dead in the eye.

“Wha- you know what never mind, just get me a set of clothes and a towel.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt this defeated before.

“Alright.” He said before unpacking some of his supplies to reveal a second layer of bullshit hidden underneath the first layer. In this new layer I could see six sets of Keith’s usual outfit, a load of folded up towels and blankets, a portable stove, a bow saw, a set of armor, several red glow sticks, a few candles, a bunch of trash bags, and a parachute. Why would he even need a parachute? What is wrong with this box. I, a man-eating monster, and Keith, a furry purple alien cat-human hybrid, pilot giant mechanical lions and were hit by a magic lightning bolt cast by a space druid. And yet somehow a single metal box manages to be the strangest thing to ever happen to me. I’m pretty sure it is physically impossible to fit all of this shit into a single room and yet somehow he fit it all in a box.

“Why do you even need all of this...”

“It’s good to be prepared.” He said with a shrug and an innocent look on his face as if he didn’t break the laws of reality to pack this box.

“Look, man, there’s being prepared and then there’s whatever the hell this is!”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Keith! Look at everything in here! What is RIGHT about is!?”

“Lance.”

“No I’m being serious here I’m sure some law of nature was broken today!”

“Lance stop.”

“If I had taken every object in my house and stuffed it all into a box, which I should mention isn’t POSSIBLE, it still wouldn’t be anywhere close to how much shit you’ve got here!!”

“Lance you’re being over dramatic.”

“I am not being over dramatic.” I said dramatically with a hand on my chest “What do you even plan to do with bladed brass knuckles and a parachute!? I could maybe understand the rest of it but what would you ever use a pair of bladed brass knuckles and a parachute for!?”

“I just wanted to be prepared.”

“FOR WHAT!?!?”

“Everything.”

I wasn’t going to win this. I let out a deep and tired sigh as I rubbed my template. How did he even get all this stuff? Did he ask Allura or Coran for some Altean versions of regular Earth survival gear? Did he bring all of this from Earth!? No, I would have noticed I was the one that flew everyone off of Earth. There was no way he could have hidden this box while we were flying to Arus. I don’t even understand what half of this stuff would be used for. Keith is weird.

“Whatever, let’s just clean up already.”