#i went through the five stages of grief trying to update this post with the link for part 2

[that-one-enby-ranger]

Ranger's Apprentice Characters in Hazbin Costumes Pt. 1

I didn't have the right colors for everything but it'll have to do. I started off proud of it, but when I outlined it and added color I started to hate. Just like everything else.

Pauline - Rosie

Halt - Alastor

Crowley - Vox

Duncan - Lucifer

Part 2!

[diaryujin]

𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃

summary: being part of a gang that murders isn't as badass and cool as those silly romance novels make it out to be. it involves questions, regrets and tough decisions, including ones related to your ex, jay.

genre: angst

includes: exes to (not so) lovers, inaccurate gang life pls bear with me i don't do illegal shit *sob*, murder, death, blood, curse words, guns, jay is mentioned as a nepo baby, mentions of (g)i-dle minnie and soyeon and le sserafim chaewon, quite some flashbacks, not that good ngl, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything

pairing: ex! gang member! jay x ex! gang member! fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i apologize for 1. not updating 'diary entries filled with her' i've been busy writing this and i've been too drained to upload those :( i'll start with them again tomorrow and 2. if this isn't all that good idk why i wasted time writing this but oh well

“Y/N, your target is agent JJXNG. He’s an assassin like you who’s part of the team trying to track us down.” You focused on Minnie in front of you, the leader of the gang you were a part of. You were her most trusted assassin and the one she assigned the most difficult targets to. Sometimes, you didn’t understand what kept you in this job, but all your doubts would clear whenever you saw the stacks of cash as your monthly salary.

“JJXNG. How long has he been with the squad?”

“Two years. He’s a formidable force though — sneaky rat. He slips out from right under our noses.” “I see. Any specific date I should get him dead by?” “As soon as possible, honestly. I’ll tell Chaewon to set up a lead in one of our usual alleys.”

“What about alley 96?”

“Perfect. See, this is why I love you so much.”

She patted your shoulder, grinning a little. You chuckled, but it was weak. Seeing that, her face wore a look of concern.

“Are you okay with doing this though? I know you’re going through that break up…”

You shook your head.

“I’ll be fine. Can’t let emotions get in the way, right? Anyway, it’s not like this involves him.”

“I understand if not though. I’ll just ask Soyeon.”

“Seriously, I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head questioningly, and you nodded. She sighed before letting go of your shoulder.

“Alright then, I’ll call you once Chae is done. Take care of yourself until then, hm?”

“I will. Take care, Minnie.”

She smiled, and you reciprocated the gesture.

Upon reaching your apartment, you went into your room, looking for a change of clothes. Hands moving through your wardrobe, you froze as they landed on a certain hoodie.

Jay’s.

You must’ve mistaken it as one of your own when you were returning all his stuff. You ran your hands slowly over the fabric which was surprisingly still somewhat warm. He bought it in the USA, and it was rather expensive. You often stole it from him to the point where he just gave up and gifted it to you.

Unfolding it, you had an internal debate over whether you should wear it. In the end, you took off the clothes you were wearing and wore the hoodie and a pair of comfortable leggings. Why leave it to collect dust?

Soon, you were on your bed, lazing around as you scrolled on your Instagram feed. Your eyes were looking at posts, stories, and reels, but your brain processed nothing. 

Jay.

Homemade cooking.

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled.

You buried your face in your mattress, groaning. Hell, you missed the taste of his food, but worse — you missed him.

You were yet to reach the acceptance bit of the five stages of grief, and it was hindering all your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you closed Instagram and opened your gallery.

A major part of getting over someone was deleting the more intimate pictures with and of them.

Fuck it, you didn’t.

How could you, when the man was way too fine to be real?

You were holding on to slivers of what you used to have, and you knew it was unhealthy, but who were you to care?

Scrolling through all the pictures, different memories played in your mind by a broken record. Smiley, hot, cute, straight from hell, meme-worthy, sculpted by Michelangelo, jawline sharp enough to cut through a watermelon, goofy, with a guitar — your photo album of him had all genres of Park Jongseong, even his darkest and deepest ones.

If everything was so perfect, what went wrong?

You reflected on your three-year relationship with him. Arguments were few and far between the two of you. You spent a lot of time with him, he spoiled you a lot (even though you told him not to), he treated you like a princess, and you reciprocated it as much as you could. Even with all your missions with the gang, everyone would call you both the perfect couple.

Your parents adored him — he was their ideal son-in-law — and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the shy look on his face as they explicitly told him that. His parents were friendly with you. Sure, they were a bit awkward and haughty, but you had seen worse.

All this got you wondering…

Where in the middle of this dreamy paradise did the devil find his home?

He wouldn’t have cheated. He was too good-hearted for that…or at least you hoped.

You did a little digging after you both ended things, but (un)fortunately you had no evidence to support your claim, and couldn’t have any justified hard feelings towards him.

You had the events of that day burned in your memory — the day when the safe little bubble you lived in burst.

He was at your place, and you both were watching a movie together. Usually, you’d be cuddling with him, but that day, it was like he was doing his best not to let even an inch of his skin come in contact with yours. It hurt your feelings, sure, but you just brushed it off as him being on his man period.

A scene appeared on the screen where the main character and her love interest were having a cheesy date, and you turned to look at Jay, expecting a comment about how your relationship with him was better or a lovesick smile, or his lips puckering out in an awkwardly endearing manner, or- or- anything other than a blank stare and a frown. He noticed your gaze and his jaw tensed.

“Y/N…this-this- you and I…”

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t do us anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed like a fish. Your hand reached for his instinctively, but he drew it back, showing that he wasn’t joking. 

“But- why? What’s-What’s going wrong? It’s nothing we…we can’t fix, you know- I’m sorry if I did anything, I’ll-I’ll change my ways, just please don’t-”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I just- my work is getting more time-consuming nowadays, and I don’t want to end up neglecting you in the process, Y/N. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need anyone else, Jay! You’re more than enough, you’re my everything! I don’t care if you have to spend less time with me, I understand and I’ll manage-”

“No Y/N, trust me. Plus…”

He looked away nervously, eyes staring at the paused screen as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Plus…?” “My parents disapprove.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

You couldn’t say anything against that. You knew how much Jay loved his parents, and you would never want to come between them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“That’s okay. I know- how they mean the world to you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, but-”

“It’s fine, really.”

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, Y/N. I’ll never forget you. I just can’t.”

“You too, Jay. Good luck with your work.”

And just like that, he left.

A month ago.

You wanted to scream. This was like the millionth time that you thought about that day.

You seriously had to get something better to do in your life. 

Suddenly, a call came on your phone. You looked at the ID, and as you expected, it was Minnie.

“Y/N? Hello.”

“Hey, Minnie. Something up?”

“They took the bait literally an hour after Chaewon set it up.”

There was a snicker of amusement from her end, and you grinned a little to yourself as well over how stupid the squad was.

“Damn, they’re confident.”

“I know! They didn’t even wait!”

“It’s dumb.”

“Mhm. Anyway, those bitches set up the meeting date as fuckin’ tomorrow. Wild, no?”

“Seriously? So soon? Kinda feeling bad for JJXNG, the poor guy most likely isn’t even prepared.”

“Fools, really. Deserved. You’re up for it, right?”

“Of course. Time?”

“11 p.m.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at the base at 10:30 p.m. tomorrow. That good?”

“That’s perfect. Alley 20, by the way.”

The alley was quiet, the streetlights providing just enough luminescence for you to notice the outline of a man slowly approaching you. You gripped the pistol in your hand tighter, setting your arm to the side so that the guy wouldn’t notice.

The soft but heavy sound of his footsteps was slightly muffled by the drizzle that left you a bit soaked. Drops of water trailed from your hair to your face, and you wiped them off with your free hand.

The man was now close enough to you. He wore a mask just like you did, but his was black with ‘JJXNG’ written on it in bold, red letters.

This guy was bloody stupid.

There was something familiar in his gaze, but you brushed it off as deja vu. He seemed to be sizing you up, so you did the same. You noticed that he had a gun too, so you moved yours further behind your back. Looking into his eyes, you saw that there was a bit of confusion swirling in them.

“Agent JJXNG? Hard to pronounce.”

You chuckled dryly, but his eyes widened.

“You’re…ENZ? Wait, but-”

Why…why was his voice so familiar? The guy had the same tone as…as someone who had been a vital part of your life until a month ago, and then became a permanent resident in your head.

“Y/N?”

You froze.

“How- How the fuck do you-”

The same surprise. The same shock. The same concern.

“Jongseong…?”

He lowered his mask at you saying his name, and you could see how his mouth was agape with shock. You did the same, although your lips were pursed together in a thin line. 

“I didn’t expect to be seeing you so soon.”

His hands fidgeted with his pistol, and you realized.

You were tasked to kill him.

He stood still for a moment, seemingly going through the same dilemma.

“So, Jongseong, this is the work that’s been so time-consuming, hm? Did your parents approve of this?”

He gritted his teeth, remembering how he said those things as a reason for breaking up with you.

“Look, Y/N-”

“I’m not about to get together with you right now.”

“I’m not that desperate.”

That hurt, and you had no idea why.

“Do you promise to never keep secrets from me, Jay?”

You held out your pinkie suddenly, catching him off guard. The poor boy was just trying to cook.

“All of a sudden?”

He chuckled, before instantly locking pinkies with you.

“I promise, only if you do the same, love.”

You smiled at him, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

You shook your head, not wanting to remember unfulfilled promises right now. Suddenly, your eyes focused on the gun pointed directly at your forehead and you winced, mentally slapping yourself for losing focus.

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this ever in my life, but here we are.”

His tone was cold yet cocky, which was annoying as hell. You reciprocated the gesture calmly, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming.”

He was in a pissy mood. You were in a pissy mood.

An irritated Jay plus an irritated you equaled disaster, which was why you usually avoided each other when both of you were emotionally heightened.

Unfortunately, circumstances didn’t allow that. You were at his house already mad, and you wanted to be with him to blow some steam off. He got some news from work that seriously angered him by the time you were there.

It started with you forgetting to wash the dishes once and ended up with the both of you having a screaming match in the living room. He complained that ‘you never cared about his feelings’ and you retorted by saying ‘he had extremely high standards’.

That was your first major argument, and it ended so badly that you didn’t contact each other for a week.

Why were you having all these flashbacks? You weren’t some anime protagonist. 

“Is this a race of who kills who first?”

“It’s always like that. I thought you had two years of experience under your Prada belt? Or are your targets handed to you on a silver platter as well?”

He scoffed at your remark. He never liked to be reminded that he was a nepo baby. He was always extremely humble and sweet, even if he occasionally didn’t understand seemingly normal things due to his upbringing.

But fuck it, to hell with him and his kindness.

“It just feels weird, since I’m killing you.”

Your grip on your pistol loosened.

“...yeah.”

His eyes were now filled with remorse as they softened.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t-don’t really know how I’ll go on- move on from this.”

He cared.

He still cared.

A week after that big fight, you had someone at your door — Jay.

When you saw him at your doorstep, all of your favorite snacks cooked by him in one hand and a necklace box in another, you didn’t know how to react.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

He genuinely looked like he was going to burst into tears. You hugged him tight, and he buried his head in your shoulder, sniffling a little.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”

“I thought I lost you, love. Please- don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, Jay. I never will.”

The rest of the day was spent with you both cuddling, eating, and (re)watching your favorite movies amongst many kisses.

And that’s how you both made up after every fight.

You struggled to come to terms with the fact that the same guy you used to watch Lady and the Tramp with was now pointing a gun at your forehead.

In his defense, you were doing the same thing.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’ll count to three, and we pull the trigger at the same time when I reach 0.”

You didn’t know how to feel about that suggestion — it made too many things real.

You were going to die.

He was going to die.

You’d be the reason he died.

He’d be the reason you died.

You didn’t want to continue living after this. You didn't want to live holding the huge guilt of having murdered the sweetest guy on the planet. At this point, you were struggling to hold back tears.

“Sure.”

You steadied your arm, and he copied your action.

“3…”

The first day you both met.

“2…”

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

“1…”

Life while dating him.

“0.”

The day you both broke up.

The loud bang of your gunshot echoed throughout the alley, the rain accentuating it. The sound overpowered the clang of his gun falling to the ground, and his soft words.

“Y/N…I can’t. I can’t kill you. I still love yo-”

You opened your eyes and froze.

How did you just do that?

He should’ve killed you, you were dea-

Your eyes fell upon Jay’s body in front of you.

There was a hole in his forehead, and blood was trickling out of it. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, and you could only see the whites. There he lay, limp and lifeless.

And it was all your fault.

Then it hit you.

He didn’t shoot. 

He broke yet another promise.

You kneeled in front of him, letting yourself cry. You cradled him close just like how you used to whenever he had a bad day and you would comfort him.

“Jay…Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why-Why didn’t you shoot?! Bastard, how do you want me to live now that you’re gone! You piece of- of absolute shit! I loved you, I love you and I will- simply continue to love you, and-and it’s going to hurt ‘cause you’re not here, damn it!”

You held him close, your salty tears mixing with his blood.

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t continue life knowing you were the reason he died.

You remained in that position, Jay’s body in your arms. Your warm hand gripped his cold one. It was weird how it still gave you comfort.

Your eyes darted around, before focusing on his gun in the pool of blood. You took it, deciding to finish his mission for him, not minding the red liquid staining your hand.

His gun was now on the side of your head.

“I love you, Park Jongseong.”

Another loud bang echoed in the alleyway.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO no because Nagi’s blanket is FLYING off the bed I can just see it there’s no way that man doesn’t wake up looking like he went through the five stages of grief

SHDGSHS im very excited hehe I know your lineup of fics is gonna be scrumptious

Omg I remember mass feeding my dragons and seeing them transform into adults like WHAT IS THAT fountain of youth for the win I specifically remember getting the ouroboros dragon leveling it and being like what the fuck is that nightmare fuel and throwing it into the fountain

Honestly so real for that LMAO I could see yuki picking peach too for whatever reason LMAOAOA

OOO wait I was NOT aware that’s what sheik was because I haven’t played any of the Zelda games or dived into the lore I only really know them by name LMAO omg wait that’s so cool though and I can def see Otoya picking sheik then LMAOAOA on a related note I remember getting Mr.game and watch once via the random selector and I kept falling off the field HAHAHA definitely not for the weak LMFAOOO I FORGOT THE WII FIT TRAINER EXISTS thats actually so hilarious I definitely remember the Wii fit battlefield setting though I’d always push people to the very edge with Charizard and just slam them out of bounds

Also OMW TO READ NOW SHDGSJXJSJ will return with commentary o7

-Karasu anon

that one epinagi chapter where he wakes up w his shirt is half off and his limbs everywhere…i know what you are nagi (the world’s most problematic sleeper)

THERE’S SO MUCH I PLAN ON POSTING SOON!! since i just updated hollyhock i’m back in request mode hehe which means next up are some hiori oneshots i think?? also at some point i want to try writing smth for yukimiya even though no one requested for him because how can i claim to be a tabieitaKEN fan without writing anything for yuki 😭💔 plus he has even less stuff out abt him than karasu and otoya so yk i have to contribute 😓

the flower and poison dragons were my first heartbreaks…they’re sooooo cute as babies but WHAT are those adult forms 😒

HAHA i haven’t played zelda either but when i first played smash w my best friend i pulled up a list of all of the female characters (like i said i only play as girls) and sheik was on there so i played as her for a bit and my best friend (who has played zelda) told me the lore. tbh i didn’t like playing sheik that much which is why i moved on to zero suit samus but she just has such otoya vibes that i know in my heart he’d pick her LMAOAO also the wii fit trainer is so ANNOYING to play against but also so funny because it’s so random?? tbh smash in general is such a random game 😭

I’M GOING TO GO RESPOND TO YOUR COMMENTARY NOW HEHE 🫡

[safyresky]

happy may 13th on the 29th wednesday! have some FROSTMAS

Year Five

Jacqueline makes a startling discovery.

I know, I KNOW. I have GOT to stop giving vague summaries! But this one tickled my fancy so it stays 🥰 Check out Year 5: 2024 edition on ao3 HERE [updated to match on ff dot net too, of course, right here, BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT HER]

What's 🆕NEW🆕 this time around:

Lore drops cut, updated, and hopefully more succinct now

Yet another cold-front-retelling-scene-jump has made its way into the chapter

All instances of third person POV have been YEETED; it's all Jacqueline, baybe. Even the Jack bits.

Upped Bernard's sass levels

Added 5k extra? somehow? We went from 8,333k to 13,185k. I genuinely don't know where or HOW given the lore cuts. AH.

And a brand new Frostmas: Behind the Scenes for Year Five!

Frostmas...who is she...I hear you whisper, your plea carrying through the internet winds right to my me. I shall tell you her secrets! With my handy dandy summary!

The Twelve Years of Frostmas

Nobody but he and I knew the truth. Jack wasn’t supposed to be Santa; I wasn’t supposed to be Jack Frost. He thought being Santa would fix everything. He was horribly, horribly mistaken. [My take on Jack’s reign as Santa during the Escape Clause. MAJOR OC involvement AND First Person POV from said OC. Finally cross posting THIS behemoth! Enjoy!]

Want to KNOW her? Take it from the top: [ao3 | ff dot net]

And without further ado, a Year Five snippet for you below the cut!

"[...]It’s been what. Five years with you in the red jacket?”

“Just about.”

“Five years where I’m busting my butt, Jack Frosting about and trying my darndest to prove that this timeline is the wrong one. And all I ever get is shoved aside! Dismissed! Told I’m too stressed and should go home and rest and everything is how it should be, Jacqueline! Deal with it. So I did. This,” I placed the cup down (very reluctantly, I might add. North Pole cocoa is very good, there's no way you can forget about it for long while ranting to your slightly evil brother who is under the impression that you are now slightly evil as well) and gestured to my frosty exterior, “is me dealing with it.”

He was quiet for a moment. Thoughtful. “No appreciation, eh?” he finally asked.

I breathed in sharply, internally cringing before I spoke again. “None! And I’ve just about HAD it with all the shoving aside of Jacqueline and dismissing all her concerns. And I have tried, over and over and over again, to just be listened to and nobody has! I’m done,” I plopped back into my seat, doing my best impersonation of a deflating balloon. “I’m done with it all and it just seemed easier to do THIS,” I gestured down at myself with both hands. “Then to keep on fighting about it.”

Jack perked up. He shifted, sitting on the edge of his seat.

“So you’re giving up?”

No. “If that’s what you want to call it, sure.”

“Just like that?”

Man, he wished. “Yep.”

“No more, accusations? No more fighting? No more insisting on timelines that don’t exist?”

“None whatsoever,” I lied.

Jack smirked, leaning back in his chair. “Wow. You know, I had hoped patience would win out! Glad to see you’ve finally reached the acceptance stage, Jacqueline.”

I blinked. The what? Did he think I was going through the five stages of grief? “Sorry, the what now?”

“The acceptance stage! You did do them a little bit out of order, though. And I think you may have skipped one or two or most of them.”

“They don’t actually have to be in order.”

“You certainly showed us that. So, let’s say all is forgiven.”

The WHIPLASH. “All is what now?!”

“Forgiven!”

--

What is Jack ON about? WAIT. HOLD UP. DID JACQUELINE FREEZE HERSELF OVER? AND WHAT ABOUT THE SABOTAGE? THE THEME PARK? WHAT'S GOING ON?

Check out Year Five to find out...

[wastelandcth]

best years - cth

summary: dovey and calum go through a rough patch, leading dovey to believe she gave up her best years. 

author’s notes: hello everyone...this is angst and part one out of two. good luck! inspired by this tik tok. 

warnings: angst and sad overall

masterlist || request || more doves

I’ve got a million reasons to hesitate and baby a million more are added every day.

Dovey had always been there for Calum. She'd been there through the drama that came along with being in a well-known band. She'd been there through the highs and the lows, through the rumors and controversies. Dovey had stuck through everything and every day it seemed like more and more came into light, like the man she had fallen in love with became a stranger. Suddenly, Calum was no longer her best friend who would tell her everything, he was the stranger in her bed who hardly was around. 

The fight hadn't been intentional. Most of the time, the Doves would talk anything out. Whether it be a disagreement over something small like where the pillows on the couch should go or whether it was something big like how their lives would be affected by the latest album release. This time, it was different, stubbornness and yells meant that Dovey found herself in a lonely bed while Calum locked himself away in his office. And with only a few days left before Calum left for tour with no plan on when or if Dovey would join him, the Doves went to sleep in different beds. 

It had started when he'd left for tour. Usually, Dovey would drive him to the airport and stay until the band's flight was called and she had given him one last hug until they were reunited again. This time, Calum had suggested saying their goodbyes at home that it would be the best since there would probably be a lot of fans at the airport. Although she wasn't too please with their break from tradition, Dovey found herself hugging him on their doorstep, whispering a soft I love you before the man she loved stepped into the car that had been waiting. 

The next time Dovey realized something had changed, she had been on facetime with him. He'd seemed distant, his eyes drifting off from the screen and his interest in whatever conversation he and Dovey were having being torn away at some joke Michael had told. Dovey thought he might've noticed something was off when she had hung up on the call, hoping he'd call her back and she could claim it was an accident, but her phone never rang again that night. It felt like the harder Dovey tried to connect with the man who was an ocean away living his dream, the more she realized exactly how disconnected they were becoming. 

I spent so much of me on you I forgot who I became.

The longer that Calum was away on tour, the more Dovey found herself. Days that would've been spent alone in a foreign city while Calum was in a radio gig were now spent with friends in the city she'd learn to call home. Mornings, where she’d usually wake up in a cramped bunk next to a grumpy Calum, were spent taking Duke on a hike and clearing her head. 

One day after she'd gotten home from the grocery store, a pang in her heart threatened to ruin the good mood she'd been in when she saw Luke's partner post a picture of them all in front of some monument miles away. But with a shake of the head and a double-tap on the screen, Dovey put some music on and danced the tears away. It wasn't until later that night when her mind was awake that she clicked on the picture again, finding those brown eyes she'd fallen in love with two years ago staring back at her. She could tell something was different, that the smile he had on didn't reach his eyes and his eyes didn't shine like they normally did when he was having the time of his life. But things were different now, and Dovey wasn't going to let her life revolve around him as she did before. If he wanted to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, he would've called. He had her number and for some unknown reason, had decided to not use it. 

Finally found a reason to walk away. 

The final straw had been a picture. Dovey had been used to seeing fan meetings on her social media, smiling fans grateful to have been able to meet Calum and talk to him for even just a second. But the second a video of him had started circling around the internet and made its way onto her screen, Dovey had just about had enough of the stupid shit Calum had been putting her through the last two months. She understood being too busy for at least a phone call or text. Touring was hard work and Calum was known for pushing himself to the limit. She understood wanting space from one another that maybe this tour was something Calum needed to do on his own in order to clear his mind and think about what their relationship meant to him. But the one thing Dovey wouldn't stand by his side when he was the one that had been telling people she was the one who hadn't wanted to join him. She wasn't going to stand by his side while he told his bandmates and the rest of the world that she hadn't wanted to join him because she was being dramatic. If Calum wanted drama, Dovey could be dramatic. 

The house that I built you made it a mess. 

Dovey had been out of their house, the house that had been filled with memories of them and their love, for about two weeks now. Duke had joined her in the passenger seat of her car that sunny afternoon when she had stuffed all her belongings into the back seat and rode off out of the city. Her parent’s house that brought along the comfort and warmth she had been craving for months was a few hours away and far enough away that any reminders of Calum could be put aside. The small town she had left all those years ago brought her peace and gave her the space she needed from whatever waited for her back in LA, if anything even did wait for her. 

Her mother had met her in the driveway, a tight embrace and promises of better times made Dovey's heavy heart lighten up as she saw her childhood home still pretty much the same as the day she had left it. The living room still had candles everywhere and the tv was playing the same movie channel her mother loved to watch on her days off from work. The kitchen was still stocked with snacks and fruits that seemed too real to be fake. And the backyard was still a playground for any and every dog Dovey had brought home, even Duke who had settled on laying in a sunspot to nap. 

Her bedroom had brought on a new set of challenges, the posters on the walls and the albums on the shelves brought tears to her eyes as she saw those brown eyes looking back at her. He'd be back in their house soon. Dovey wondered how he'd react to find himself in an empty house. What he would think of when he saw the letter she had left him on the kitchen counter since at that point any attempt to call or text him was met with radio silence. He'd probably try to call her at that point, she hoped, but only to see where Duke was or he'd get Ashton to do it for him. Dovey wasn't too sure about anything when it came to Calum anymore. She wasn't sure if he would even care that she had left the gold band on the counter next to the letter or that she had left her keys to the house in the little ceramic tray they had painted on one of their dates so many months ago. 

I’m left with broken pieces can't help how I ran out of tears.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the tour had ended and Dovey hadn't heard from any of them. She hadn't heard from Calum since before she'd left the house almost a month ago and she hadn't even gotten a text message from Luke, who would update her on what had been going on during the tour. It was been one week since Dovey had run out of tears. One week since she had decided that leaving was the best option and that she had made the right choice. 

It had been a week since she realized just how much of herself she'd given away to Calum only to have nothing left for herself. It took her two weeks to realize that if he had wanted to talk to her, he would. If he had wanted to see her or even Duke for that matter, he would've driven to where she was. So when her tears were dry and the pain in her chest was nothing more than a dull pressure whenever she thought about him, she began to fix whatever broken pieces she could. 

It began when she packed away all the old posters that hung on her wall, the smile on every single one leaving her breathless like it always would when she saw it in person. The sparkle in his eyes bringing fresh tears to hers, tears that she would blink away and continue on with taking him out of her life. By the time her childhood bedroom was nothing more than the furniture and bare walls, Dovey felt lighter than she had in months. It didn't last long. As sleep called her name and her eyes closed, Dovey was brought back from whatever dream she was about to enter when the buzzing noise went off next to her head.

I'm sorry. 

I lost all my best years just missing my best years. past love burned out like a cigarette im free now baby all I regret are my best years. 

Sitting in the living room, watching back old family movies and nursing the drink in her cup, Dovey couldn't help but feel like an idiot. She'd given Calum the best years of her life. Gave him all the good times and shared the most wonderful moments with him all for him to leave her with silence and no explanations. She'd gone through the stages of grief, had tried to make her new life without his work, and then he had shoved his way back in with no warnings in the middle of the night. 

The text message hadn't been the only thing Calum had sent, no matter how hard Dovey had wanted it to be. He'd sent her a voice note, a five-minute ramble where his accent had gotten too thick for Dovey to try and decipher what he was saying through the tears and sniffling. He'd apologized for the silence, apologized for the lies, and even apologized for forcing the silence he'd caused from the rest of the band. But Dovey wasn't going to just let him into her life so easily, she wasn't going to let him in after the months of silence and heartbreak. She'd lost all her best years and she needed to find herself again before she could ever consider letting Calum have more of the best of her. 

taglist:  @hoodhoran​ @finelliine @moonlightcriess​ @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver​ @calpops​ @karajaynetoday​ @notlukehemmo​ @calumrose​ @devilatmydoor​ @lyss-xo​ @lowkeyflop

[mkstrigidae]

from the ask meme abt writing, i have a few questions about your writing process! how do you stay organized with so many pov’s in AWPH? i always wonder what writing app/site fic writers use (word, google docs, etc.), and if it’s not too much, could you show a screenshot of how that looks?

Hi friend! :) I am terribly sorry it’s taken me a while to answer this- life has gotten in the way

Oof- so the answer to that question ‘how do you stay organized’ is probably ‘I don’t’, but I’ll do my best. (this ended up long and fairly disorganized)

About APWH POVs:

For the different POVs, there isn’t really a process I have to choose whose POV is used for what scene- I’d probably be more stern about it if were writing a novel, but because it’s fanfiction, I kind of just go with whatever feels right at the time. There is one thing that’s absolutely deliberate, though- I’ve never written a scene from Petyr’s POV, because he’s the exception to narrative omniscience.

There have been a few instances where I’ve had to switch whose POV i was writing from as I went along, or after I finished a scene- Meeting Jon Arryn is an example from the most recent chapter. Initially, it was from Sansa’s point of view, but Sansa overthinks everything and so it kept going off in all sorts of weird directions and I couldn’t pin it down. Once I started writing as Robin, it got much easier.  

The single most difficult thing about keeping all the different characters straight is remembering who knows certain things, and who doesn’t know certain things.

Take this, for example. The two characters closest to omniscience are Oberyn and Sansa, but where Oberyn knows Baelish’s history and can understand certain aspects of his motivation because of years of working on the case and studying him (in addition to a hefty understanding of human psychology), Sansa isn’t always completely aware of how important certain pieces of evidence are, or how relevant certain things are to Petyr’s motivations. The two of them understand Baelish more than anyone else, but in drastically different ways. The biggest thing is that Oberyn is aware of Petyr’s relationship with Catelyn, and how he feels about her, whereas Sansa has no idea about that, and still doesn’t really understand why Baelish took her in the first place (although she’s been doing a repeat speedrun through the five stages of grief throughout the entire thing, poor kid).

But there are basic facts of the story, and then there’s the ‘who knows what’ aspect of it. Someone broke into the Stark’s home in White Harbor and stole Sansa from her bed- this is a fact. But only a few people know who it was that broke in or how it was done. An assassin was hired to kill Petyr Baelish at the airport and failed. The Lannisters know who the assassin is, but Oberyn and Daemon don’t yet.

There are lots of complicated relationships among the characters too- Jon knows more about Robb than any of the rest of them, except maybe Rhae, who only ever shows vulnerability to Willas and Marg, and so the rest of us don’t really get to see her soft side. Arya’s relationship with Catelyn is extremely complicated, and as such, she has a lot of baggage going into meeting Sansa that Sansa has no idea about. Lyanna is aware of what’s generally going on politically, and is working on several important stories that could provide some insight to Oberyn, but they haven’t talked about politics too much recently, because Oberyn’s too busy with the investigation and Lyanna’s busy with her job. There are secrets that Robb has been keeping for an extremely long time, and secrets that Sansa’s keeping without even realizing it. There are a lot of things that were odd or abnormal or red flags in Sansa’s childhood that she doesn’t even realize are odd, because she has no other frame of reference.

In terms of keeping the other stuff straight, I have a page at the beginning of the APWH Master Document (it’s so long dear god), that basically has character names, ages, locations, and time zones written down. I’ve tried making like, character info compilations, but I’m not very good at updating them so I stopped that (although I found a particularly funny bit about the targs in one that’s sampled below).

Generally, I think it’s more important to understand how your characters react to certain situations and their most basic personality traits and values, rather than just having a long list of stats on them, so that tends to be my approach. If I’m worried that I’m about to write something that conflicts with a previous plot point, generally, I’ll go back and skim the story for mentions of them to double check- I’ve reread APWH so frequently that I am genuinely sick of the first five chapters, haha.

Unfortunately, a lot of it tends to just be that I have an extremely good long-term memory for details. The trade-off is a god-awful short-term memory, though. It’s partially the ADHD. I’m on the verge of trying to keep things straight with an excel doc, tho.

The timeline is one of the trickier aspects, so I tend to scribble them out anytime I’m thinking about when and where certain events happened. Generally, I use Sansa’s abduction as year zero, because I do not understand how years work in Westeros and have elected to just use my own- here’s a sample of one I scribbled down the other day when I was trying to figure something out.

(Sorry about the post it notes- those are covering some spoilers! ;D)

About my writing process:

It is…. Not as streamlined of a process as I would like, haha. Generally, I go by chapter. I kind of have a rough idea of what I want to happen in each chapter, and generally that evolves as the story does.

For each chapter, I kind of just bullet point out some things that I want to have happen, and then try my hand at writing some of them. Some of my best ideas happen after this process, though, like the scene where Robb and Sansa find out that Baelish moved them out of the city while Robb was in town to avoid a confrontation. But I have those bullet points, and usually rough chapter titles and rough summaries before the chapters start. (Some things blacked out because of spoilers ;D)

I think that if I waited until I was inspired to sit down and write, then APWH would maybe be done by like, 2070, so I usually kind of sit down and just start writing- some of it is good, some scenes I discard completely, and usually, once I hit on something that works, the plot flows where I want it to.

I generally know how I want the chapters to start, based on how the previous chapter ends (My writing time for them usually overlaps bc it’s a natural continuation). Once I figure out roughly how I want the chapter to end, though, the whole thing starts coming together, and it’s easier for me to figure out what doesn’t belong in the middle, and what might be missing.

I started using one master document on word, because I swear to god I did not intend for this story to turn into the behemoth that it is, and that lasted for about twelve chapters before I realized that the damn thing was 368 pages of tiny font (I don’t double space my lines when I write bc I like seeing as much of it as I can). So I’ve switched to individual word docs for each chapter as of chapter 13, and used google docs to share the chapter with the wonderful @nowmywatch-begins who was kind enough to beta read the thing and remove the excess of commas I tend to use. I use color coded highlighting to indicate different things- turquoise means I want to go back and rework something, green means I need to check to make sure something doesn’t conflict with something I wrote previously, yellow is for sections that I might not want in that chapter and might need to move, etc. Anything I end up discarding goes in a section at the end of that chapter labeled ‘outtakes’. I used to have a lot of trouble rewriting things because I hated to get rid of them, so this circumvents that particular issue. I get to keep what I wrote, while still improving the story by being willing to throw out certain parts.

I write out of order frequently so I keep a separate document called ‘APWH- Bits and Pieces’ that I use whenever I’m doing something like that- it acts as sort of a holding tank for these scenes until I feel like they fit in the story. I also just keep random notes in there, questions that I think need answering, random sentences that just come to me, ideas I’ve jotted down when an idea sparks, etc. There’s a lot of stream of consciousness kind of stuff because I tend to process ideas by writing them down, and so I have stuff like ‘okay so what if Lysa did X and Petyr was here and does Sansa have a college scholarship???? Is the Braavosi prison in the northwest or the south? Why is Westeros still a monarchy? do the tabloids follow the royal family like in britain???’

Like, I have the ending for APWH written, but it’s fairly disjointed, and i think I’ll be able to flesh it out more as the story goes along. I like having a general idea of where I’m going with my writing, but I also will modify those ideas frequently as I go- sometimes the characters really do write the story for you.

This is probably not very organized, and waaaaay longer than you wanted, but I hope this answers your question!!! Thank you for the ask! :)

[mxadrian779]

Working title: “Fire & Ice,” an ATLA fanfic (draft 4?)

I’ve been trying to figure out posting this on Fanfiction (under the same username), but things aren’t going through right, so in the meantime, have my fanfiction as it stands (draft post 4, I think? Sorry for all the separate updates)

........

We were just a bunch of kids who had to save the world. What did we know about love?

 ===

             He was madly in love with her. He knew she belonged with him. They had shared so much together, all of their highs and lows, regrets and dreams, weaknesses and strengths. They were made for each other.

             He had found the perfect betrothal necklace. He had picked the perfect date. The night was perfect, and their costumes were perfect, and everything was just...perfectly perfect.

             It never occurred to him that she might say “no.”

 ===

           It was the second Harmony Festival, the second anniversary of the fall of Ozai. The azure sky was clear, the air was crisp, and the orange Sun was blazing its way toward the horizon. The celebration was going off without a hitch. It was going so well, in fact, that it was held over into its second day. Seems the people couldn't get enough of celebrating an anniversary of their freedom.

             The Harmony Festival is a celebration of peace and diversity, but its attendees were largely Fire Nation. This continued to baffle Team Avatar, who assumed most of the nation would still be loyal to the previous Fire Lord and his politics. A lot can change in the space of two years, but it would be understandable if the citizens had not quite adjusted to the younger Fire Lord and his benevolent way. It would take a lot longer than two years to smooth over a century of tyranny.

             The members of Team Avatar were now two years older and ten years wiser. Sokka and Suki had been tending to the Earth Kingdom, helping rebuild the kingdom and implement new security measures with Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi Warriors. Aang, Katara, and Toph had been spending considerable time in the Fire Nation, trying to hold the country together as it adjusted to its new rule. Zuko had been hard at work restructuring political and military policy. He had considered creating a peace army to aid the most war-torn areas, but his friends convinced him it might not be well-received. “Knock-knock, hi, I know I wanted to kill you before, but I'm here to help you now,” Aang had commented.

             Cheerful chatter filled the air around them as day melted into night. Aang heaved a sigh as he spied the full moon beginning to rise. As moonlight crowned the darkness, the flora of the night started to wake and release their scents. When the breeze picked up, it carried with it the playful and delicate scents of fire lilies mixed with robust ceremonial incense. There was nothing more perfect than this. He knew she must say “yes.”

             The teenage Avatar fumbled in his robes and carefully withdrew a little cloth pouch. He checked on Katara out of the corner of his eye. The beautiful waterbender was immersed in the crowd, surrounded by eager young citizens who could never tire of hearing about her adventures. Anxiety started to trickle into Aang's heart—it would only be a short time before Fire Lord Zuko would deliver his closing speech, the celebration would conclude, and the young Avatar would have missed the opportunity to propose to the love of his life.

             “Aang!” The Southern Water Tribe girl was heading towards him. “There are some kids here who would really love to hear your stories.”

“Katara!” he almost yelped. He lunged forward and took her hand with a nervous grin. “I'll meet them later. There's something we have to do first.”

“Okay,” she replied hesitantly, spotting a glimmer of fear in his eyes and wondering whether she should be excited or wary. Katara let the airbender lead her away from the crowd to the far end of the palace gardens. They came to a decorated bench placed under the open sky, with a trellis of fire lilies behind them and a sparkling pond ahead. Brilliant moonlight danced on the surface of the water. Katara breathed a sigh as she gazed.

             Aang studied her as she closed her eyes and allowed him a moment alone with his panic. He fumbled with his thoughts, struggling to figure out the proper way to do this. “Katara,” he said, rousing her. She fixed her sapphire eyes on him. The Avatar reached out from behind and presented her with a cloth pouch. “What's this?” asked Katara with a puzzled look.

He left it in her hand as he gingerly untied the pouch, then pulled out a carved necklace and held it up to her.

 ===

             “Aang...?” the waterbender started, holding his gaze and trying not to look at the necklace. Her heart beat hard in her chest; she was sure she could even feel it in her throat. Katara tried her best to appear baffled, but she knew exactly where this was going.

Aang held out the betrothal necklace, with smooth wooden beads and an intricately carved crescent moon, from which a crimson tassel hung. “Katara,” he began in an unsteady voice, “I feel like I've waited my whole life to say this, and I can't wait another minute. I love you with all my heart. I know we're meant to be together.”

Katara found herself in a daze, taken aback by the beauty and detail of the necklace and the heartfelt gesture behind it. When she looked back to Aang and traced the next words his lips made, fear shot through her veins like ice water.

“Katara, will you marry me?”

             She was sure her heart must have stopped. Marriage...! Katara ceased to hear anything but those five words humming through her mind like an angry buzzard-wasp. She was frozen, unable to think or respond for many long minutes. Marriage...?!

Katara loved Aang. They were best friends. They went through hell and back together, lived and laughed and fought and won for each other. But...marriage? That was something else entirely. That was a universe away from them. She loved him, but...

“Aang,” she said when she finally mustered a voice, “I can't do this.” She placed the necklace in his hands and folded his fingers around it. She held her hand atop his for a moment and squeezed. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she whispered, “I'm sorry, Aang.”

             Katara saw the light leave his eyes when Aang stared down at their hands. Just as his face started to wrench into grief, an obscure expression glazed over. He pulled his hand out from hers and let his arm drop to his side. Aang wouldn't spare another look at her as he picked up his glider and walked out of the palace gardens. A few minutes later, Katara saw his silhouette pass over the full moon, dragging a small cloud over it and dimming the night. She threw her gaze back down and sighed, wiping a falling tear. After a few more moments, she stood up, brushed off her skirt, and continued back into the crowd.

 ===

             “Hey, where's Twinkletoes?” asked Toph when Katara fell in beside her. “Zuko's about to start.”

She heard a deep sigh from the waterbender. “He's...out for a walk.”

“Now is when he takes a walk?” Toph started to ask, but caught herself when she noticed the stress in Katara's voice and ground vibrations. She detected anxiety and a hint of deception, but decided against pressing the matter. She'll find out sooner or later.

The crowd roared when Zuko ascended the stage, then quickly fell silent with anticipation. She heard the rustling of the scroll and the clearing of his throat. After the first few sentences, Toph tuned it out. It was the same speech he gave last year, and would probably be the same the next. Zuko had many strengths, but creativity was not one of them.

             All the buzzwords hit Toph's ear: “peace,” “love,” “balance.” She'd heard them enough times coming from Aang. Sometimes it still surprised her to hear them come from Zuko. He repeated his promises that the Fire Nation would atone for its sins and would never return to tyranny. He highlighted the progress they'd made thus far and the milestones they've yet to achieve. Toph started tuning back in when she could hear the Fire Lord reaching his conclusion. She couldn't help but smile when the passion in his voice took her back in time to the end of the war. It was their little gang that was responsible for ending a war that had been waged for a hundred years, while no adults could even make a dent in it. Toph gave a sigh of nostalgic satisfaction. Somehow, that felt like a lifetime ago.

             Suddenly, her wistful mind snapped back to reality when Toph noticed some distinct vibrations through the ground. While the crowd had mostly been standing in one place, she felt a few jerking steps stealthily weaving their way through. The earthbender threw her senses into the ground to focus on the footsteps. They were light and agile, barely detectable were it not for their rapid movements that drew her attention. They were now such a distance away that she couldn't tell how many there were, but it seemed like more kept coming. Toph did notice they all had one thing in common: they were all darting towards the stage.

 ===

             Tears threatened to fill Zuko's eyes as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause when he finished his Harmony Festival speech. He rolled up the scroll, passed it to one of his sages, and returned for a bow. It wasn't long ago that he would have been unable to imagine a crowd ever cheering for him. For much of his young life, he had been legally considered a traitor to the Fire Nation for nothing more than insulting his father. Zuko had been disgraced and was in fear for his life from all nations, especially his own.

And now?

Now, he was their leader, and they accepted him, and they honoured him.

Zuko was proud—of his people, of his world, of himself. He had long doubted whether there was any good left in the Fire Nation save for his uncle. He couldn't imagine that there was any good left in himself. Now, he and the Avatar had the world back on the right track, and they couldn't be prouder.

             Fire Lord Zuko scanned the crowd before taking another bow. He looked back to his sage, who nudged his head towards the palace. Zuko nodded and started following him inside. As he turned his back to the crowd, one cry in particular reached him. He started to turn back to the caller when something exploded before him. Clouds of smoke surrounded the stage, and Zuko lost sight of the caller, the crowd...and everything else. Another explosion of smoke, and something barreled into him, knocking the air out of his lungs. As Zuko fought for a breath and flailed against his invisible attacker, suddenly a cold fire surged through his veins. The Fire Lord cried out with the last of his breaths. Burning, numbing pain ripped through his body and seemed to cluster in his chest. His vision and breaths were quickly leaving him, but somewhere on the fringes of his mind he captured her fearful cry.

“Zuko!!”

 ===

             He remembered blurred sapphire orbs. A glowing light above him. Warmth throughout his body. The thick pain settling in his chest, holding back his gasps for air. The numbness pulsing through him, rendering him unable to move. The moments he spent wondering if he could even remember how.

             He could feel the warmth working its way through him. He could feel it pulsing, throbbing, getting caught on its way. It circled around the tightness in his chest. His breaths kept catching in his throat. The warmth couldn't penetrate the tightness. It would have to try again tomorrow.

 ===

             It was soothing in a painful kind of way. He didn't open his eyes. He was afraid to witness what was happening. He could feel the warmth working in his chest again. Somewhere beyond him there was a strained sigh. The warmth pulsated, seemed to start beating through his chest now. It beat faster, harder. He wondered if it matched his heartbeat.

             Suddenly, it felt like the elephant-bear had been lifted off his chest, and he was able to draw in a solid breath. His lungs were not used to a full breath yet, and he started to cough, which set his body on fire. Someone somewhere beyond him shushed, and placed a hand gently on his chest to nudge him back down. The warmth radiated freely through his body now, seemingly victorious about defeating the tightness. He couldn't tell anymore whether it felt better or worse. He tried to focus on “better.”

 ===

             Zuko wasn't sure how much time had passed before he had the strength to open his eyes. The warmth no longer beat through his body; now, everything felt stiff and fragile. He couldn't tell how much time he missed. It could have been anywhere from hours to years. He admitted to himself that he felt a hundred years older.

             His vision was blurred for several troubling moments. He kept trying to blink away the bleariness to no avail. It was only when he caught sight of a figure beside him that he could begin to focus his eyes.

“Katara?” he mumbled quizzically.

She turned her sapphire eyes on him, and seemed stunned for a moment. Suddenly, she broke into a smile. “Zuko,” she gasped, leaning down to lightly hug him. “You're okay.”

The ache in his bones seemed to suggest otherwise, but Zuko didn't have the energy to contest. “What are you doing here?” he murmured hoarsely. “What happened?”

Her face contorted with worry. “You were attacked at the festival,” she replied. There was more Katara wanted to say, but only whispered, “It was bad.”

 ===

             Katara easily remembered the festival last week. The celebration. The joy of its attendees. The heartbreak between her and Aang. And the attempt on Zuko's life.

Toph had given her a hard nudge and said something, but the roar of the audience swallowed her words. Minutes later, a small, lithe group stormed the stage and attacked the Fire Lord, and then Katara knew what Toph had tried to tell her. Panic flooded Katara, and she made a beeline for the stage. She yelled back for Toph to find Aang as she rushed to Zuko's side. The palace guardians leapt into action and held off the attackers while Katara tended to the Fire Lord. A Fire Sage ushered her and the wounded firebender into the palace for safety.

             The last several days had been agonising. Katara's patience and healing abilities were put to the ultimate test. The damage was bad, to say the least, and there were many times Katara was sure her friend wouldn't survive. But still she persisted, sending the healing water along his wounds, imbuing him with healing chi. She had come across several deadly blockages in his arms and especially around his heart, and struggled to release them. Katara only wished she knew what had been done to him.

             The waterbender gave a hard blink, and tried to put the terrible event from her mind. Zuko was here and he was awake, and nothing else mattered. He longed to ask her more about what had happened, but she put a warm cloth on his forehead to hold him still. Katara shushed him, held his hand, and calmly threatened that she would never tell him if he didn't just shut up and try to get some rest. Zuko chuckled softly, which turned into a painful coughing fit. Katara readied her healing water and circulated it over his chest, opening his airways and steadying his breathing. Closing his eyes, he sighed his surrender. Katara sighed too, and rubbed his hand.

 ===

             He found himself no longer sure how long he had been sitting under the banyan-grove tree. He had forgotten how long he had been staring into the distance, replaying visions of Katara. He came out here to let her go, but whenever he looked up between meditations, he would see her again, and his heart would break again.

             Visions danced in the fog around him, showing Aang again and again his first kiss with Katara, their first dance, even the first time he had ever laid eyes on her. Her soft skin, gentle eyes, and loving smile were all permanently etched in his mind—perhaps sewn into the very fabric of his existence. It anguished him to think that it was all over.

             Aang kept trying to pack away these visions, but every time he would start to seal them, they would burst forth and assail him, and he would find tears in his eyes all over again. He gave up this attempt, and decided to close his eyes and try to get some sleep. He took a deep breath, and let his mind fade to black.

             “Aang?” an echo came somewhere in the back of his mind. It called again. “Aang!”

The Avatar's eyes flew open to find a slim figure in the distance, carefully crossing a tangle of thick roots. The figure stopped and cried his name again.

Aang squinted and tried to discern the figure. She was still far from him, but he made out the blue attire and long, dark hair. His heart leapt jubilantly and he couldn't spring to his feet fast enough. “Katara!” the Avatar exclaimed, rushing towards her. “Katara, I can't believe you're—” Suddenly, Aang skidded on the dewy grass, and went hurtling into the young woman. Both yelped as they tumbled to the ground. “Hey, what's your problem?”

             “Sorry, Katara, I—” Aang gasped and lurched backwards when the girl stood and began brushing herself off.

“Don't you ever watch where you're going?” grumbled Toph.

Aang's mind went numb. His heart squeezed, threatening to break once more. “What are you doing here?” he asked sourly, turning away from her.

“Good to see you too, Sunshine,” she replied. Toph moved to face him, and seemed to actually meet his eyes. Aang was stricken by the emotion in her face. For once in her life, she looked...worried. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

The Avatar heaved a sigh. “I just...had some stuff to work out.”

“What was suddenly so important that you had to leave in the middle of the festival?”

“Katara broke up with me, okay?!” Aang burst out. He paused for a moment, and studied the earthbender for a reaction. She didn't flinch, but her expression seemed to sadden. Aang continued in a softer, almost apologetic tone, “I'm going through a lot right now, and I just want to be left alone.”

Toph was silent for a few minutes, never taking her eyes off Aang. “I'm sorry,” she murmured.

Exhaustion was starting to overwhelm the Avatar, and he sat down on the ground and dropped his head into his hands. Toph came down beside him and pressed close to him. Neither would speak for quite some time.

 ===

             “This isn't really working, is it?”

Zuko pried his eyes from his paperwork and focused on her. “What isn't working?” he asked as he tried to blink away the mathematical figures still floating in his vision.

The nonbender sighed, dropping herself onto the crimson lounge. “Us,” Mai said, her normally plain, emotionless face scrunched into distress.

The Fire Lord frowned at her. This again? It seemed like every other day, his girlfriend was fretting about their relationship. “Mai, can this wait 'til later? I'm trying to work out these new formation plans.”

“Whatever,” she grumbled, pulling out one of her blades. “That's all you ever care about lately.” She absentmindedly dragged her fingertip over the blunted side of her dagger. Mai flung it back into its holster on her wrist and threw herself off the lounge. “Why don't you just marry your work while you're at it?”

Zuko let out an exasperated huff and slammed down his papers. “What is it with you?” He rose from the table and whirled to face her.

             Mai met his eyes squarely as she veiled her expression once more. Her voice had become as cool as the look in her eyes. “Well, excuse me for wanting a little attention every now and then. Your plants get more attention than I do.”

“That's because all I have to do is water them once a day, and they'll shut up!” Zuko stepped back and clipped a sigh as he tried to rein in his temper. “What is it you want, Mai?”

The shift in Zuko's response caught her off-guard. She also loosened her anger a little bit and looked away from him. “I don't know,” Mai admitted softly, sitting back on the lounge. “I'm just...sick of being stuck in this awful castle while you get to go out and play.”

“What?” growled Zuko, his lips getting caught between a grin and a snarl. He gave a breath of a chuckle. “You think this is fun for me? Trying to figure out how to put the country back together after my father and grandfather screwed it up? Trying to prove to the world that we're different now than we were a year ago?” He threw his gaze away from her and fell quiet for several moments. “I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure and responsibility. I would think that you could respect that.”

“I do respect that, but Zuko, you have a responsibility to me, too.” Mai mentally cringed as soon as the words left her tongue. She knew what a terrible response that was.

             Zuko's eyes widened, and he studied her for several moments.

“That's not what I meant,” she said hurriedly, and tried to frame it more gently. “I just mean that—”

Zuko sighed heavily, letting his nerves relax a tad. “I know what you mean, Mai.” He didn't, really, so he searched her face for clues. She tried to keep her expression indiscernible, but he knew better. The desolation in her grey eyes was subtle but unmistakable. “You feel neglected, and I understand that, but I don't know what I can do about it.”

“We could take a vacation,” she said hopefully, putting her hand on his shoulder and attempting to nudge him closer.

             Zuko paused and considered this for a minute, but the list of responsibilities kept cluttering his thoughts. He shrugged off her hand and turned back to his desk. “You can take a vacation,” he replied curtly. He sat down before his paperwork and resumed studying the figures.

Behind him came an irritated groan. “Fine.” There were several minutes of rustling and shuffling and angry footsteps crossing the room. Zuko snuck a glance over his shoulder to see his girlfriend hastily grabbing her stuff. He heard her throw her knapsack over her shoulder and head to the door.

“Where are you going?” Zuko called, immediately feeling regretful.

At first, Mai was silent, and Zuko almost wondered if she'd heard him. “My parents',” she replied flatly before slipping through the door.

             He heaved an infuriated sigh, and stared at his papers. The mathematical figures might as well have been dancing on the page; Zuko's mind was a world away. His heart began to ache as their fight echoed through his head, and the stumbling evolution of their relationship unfurled before him. The two teenagers were no strangers to arguments—it felt like they'd fought every other week for the past several years. But they had long ago decided to give no credit to their fights and to assign them no ultimate meaning or consequence. They'd yell at each other, storm around and stamp their feet, and then resume their relationship as normal, quickly forgetting the bitter words exchanged and the sour feelings evoked. Zuko, however, never forgot all the bitter words and sour feelings passed between them. As much as he loved Mai and treasured their bond, he always knew it must be a matter of time before all the negativity they shared would suddenly stack up and topple over. Arguments were an inevitable part of their relationship, and each time, the young Fire Lord wondered if it would be their last.

             But Mai had never left before. Usually it would go like this: they would fight over some ridiculous thing or another, they'd puff out their chests and stand their ground, but within a few minutes or a few hours, they'd end up deflating. They might spend a few hours apart and sulk individually, but they'd be back together afterwards. There might be apologies, there might not—it didn't really matter to them. Their truce would be apology enough.

But Mai had never left before. She would sulk on the lounge, or in her room, or in the gardens, but she would still be there and would still be with him. Zuko almost felt naked, felt raw and numb and cold. Only fifteen minutes had passed, but Mai's absence was burning into him. Zuko gave a hard blink to clear his head, and stared at his papers again. He tried to put their fight from his mind, but it kept rushing back. Zuko released a frustrated grunt and brought his fist down hard upon the desk. After a hiss of pain, he buried his face in his reddened hand. He kept chasing away bad thoughts, but they kept returning fivefold. Scenes from their childhood, friendship, and relationship rolled through his mind. Somewhere behind the scenes—somewhere behind the memories—a small voice told him that Mai was gone.

 ===

             Zuko suddenly sucked in a breath, startling both himself and the young woman beside him. His eyes flew open to find Katara hastily readying a stream of healing water. “Zuko,” she sighed when he regained a stable breath. She bent the water back into its pouch and set it aside. “You scared me.”

He scoffed. “Scared me,” he laughed, relishing in the absence of pain. He forgot what it was like to breathe, let alone laugh, without being sent into an episode of agony. His body still felt stiff, but it didn't feel like it could shatter at any moment, and for that he was grateful. He carefully brought his hand to his forehead, imagining his joints might sound like grinding metal. “How long was I out?”

Katara's face was gentle as she responded, “Some time.” After a thought, she admitted, “A couple of weeks.”

             “Wow,” Zuko murmured, absently running his hand down his face and flinching in surprise when his fingers were met with coarse hair.

“Long enough to start a beard,” Katara remarked playfully.

He toyed with his beginner's beard for a few seconds, humorously imagining a royal portrait of him with a full beard. Then, the injured Fire Lord leaned forward and tried to rise. Katara held his arm and slowly guided him to a sitting position. “You okay?” she asked before releasing him.

“Yeah,” Zuko grunted, taking a deep breath and letting his body catch up. He blinked hard, visually devouring his surroundings as if for the first time. His room was still and glowing red as the rising Sun lit up the various crimson effects. Paperwork was stacked neatly on his desk, waiting patiently for his return. On a small table against the window stood several bottles of various medicines and Fire Sage potions. It looked as if they had been hurriedly shoved to the far end of the table to make room for Katara's healing water. Knowing her, Zuko was surprised the bottles hadn't ended up broken on the floor.

             “Do you think you're ready to stand?” asked Katara, studying his face and the halting movement of his limbs. She leaned over to lend her arm.

Zuko hissed a breath as he rolled his weight forward, taking her arm more desperately than he'd have liked. “Just a second,” he muttered. His eyes accidentally met hers as he was readying himself, and it was then that the reality of the situation set in. The Fire Lord had been seriously injured. Without Katara, he would be dead. She saved his life, and here she was, still committed to his care. Zuko found himself gazing at her in admiration. Her azure eyes glittered with concern. Her features were relaxed but focused. The thinly-veiled exhaustion in her face told Zuko that she must not have left his side since the attack. He became acutely aware of the strength of her presence, not merely as friend but as defender, and he felt humbled that such a fierce warrior should swear herself to his side.

             He braced himself and let go of her arm, determined that he should rise to his feet himself. Zuko pushed himself slowly off the bed and wobbled to his feet. When he started to stagger, Katara was quick against his side. He resisted leaning on the young woman at first, but he still had little strength of his own. “I'm not hurting you, am I?” asked Zuko, trying to shift his weight independently.

“Don't worry about it,” she replied. “Let's just get you out to the parlour.”

             Carefully, they made their way through the long hall and into the next room. What was normally a moment's trip seemed to take half an hour. Zuko was prickling with frustration; he could only imagine how annoyed Katara must have been, but she was never anything less than supportive. Finally, they found the parlour, and Katara helped him down onto a velvet chaise. He sank onto the daybed with a long groan, a combination of pain, stiffness, and disappointment in his diminished abilities. The waterbender came down beside him and helped him adjust his posture. She grabbed a couple of pillows and laid them against his back. “Is this okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Zuko sighed as he leaned back. He caught her eyes and smiled appreciatively. “Thanks.”

             They sat together in silence for a small time. Zuko's breathing sometimes still came in harshly, and he noticed Katara tense up every time his breath caught in his throat. She avoided staring at him, but he knew that she was closely monitoring his condition and his movements. Suddenly, Zuko was stricken by the fact that she was still with him. “Why are you still here?” he asked.

She looked at him, and furrowed an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean?”

“Shouldn't you be out there with Aang?”

 ===

             Katara froze, unable to answer and unable to meet his eyes. She could feel Zuko's gaze burning into her as he awaited her response. She ran her finger along the velvet arm of the chaise before finally saying, “He's been busy.” Katara hoped that would be answer enough, but when Zuko didn't reply, she added delicately, “We decided to spend some time apart.”

“Oh.” Something in his voice, and the fact that he didn't press her further, seemed to indicate an understanding. When Katara glanced at him, his eyes were gentle and almost sympathetic. “Well,” he began with a small smile, “I'm glad you're here. Thank you, Katara.”

She mirrored his smile, and felt her eyes start to moisten. She threw her gaze down to her feet before a tear could form. “You're welcome, Zuko,” she murmured.

 ===

             Toph was ready to scream in frustration. It felt like she and Aang had been sitting in silence for ages. How much longer does he need to pout? Jeesh! “Aang?” she quietly prodded, gripping his shoulder lightly.

The Avatar stirred abruptly, and lifted his head from his knees. “What?” he asked in a surprisingly stable voice, trying to fool Toph into thinking he had not fallen asleep.

“Are you ready to go back?”

He sighed heavily and looked away from her. “I don't know.”

“Well, how much more time do you need?”

“I don't know!” he growled. He looked at her now, and the anger in his eyes quickly melted away to desperation. “Sorry,” he muttered.

She gave a slight grin. “It's okay; I understand. It's gotta be tough.”

             “I just...” Aang gave a combination of a sniffle and a gasp. “I just thought we'd always be together.”

“So did I,” remarked Toph in earnest, stunned to think of a time when Aang and Katara wouldn't be a package.

“What went wrong?” he muttered.

“We grew up.”

Aang ignored her and went on. “We seemed so perfect together. It made so much sense to me.”

Toph leaned forward to study him for several seconds. “Maybe that's the problem,” she said, watching his expression closely.

Finally, he looked up at her. “What do you mean?”

“Aang, just because it made sense to you doesn't mean it made sense to her.”

Something glazed over his eyes, and Toph struggled to read his face. She searched his expression for clues to his thoughts and emotions, but came up empty. She continued cautiously, “I mean...maybe it didn't mean as much to her as it did to you. You loved her, but did she love you?”

“Yeah,” he replied strongly. After a moment, his voice seemed to falter. “I know she did,” Aang murmured, more to himself than to Toph. “Why else would we have been together?”

             Toph stared at him as she assembled her thoughts. “Well, things change. People grow up.” Becoming confident of her next words, Toph let herself relax a notch. “Think about it, Aang: we were kids. We were just a bunch of stupid kids who had to stop a war. We didn't have time to think about what we wanted. We were too young to even know what we wanted.” She looked over to see Aang staring out into the distance as he processed what she had said. His face wrinkled, then smoothed; his eyebrows furrowed, then relaxed; his mouth started working a response, then stopped. Finally, Aang's shoulders dropped in defeat, and when he met her eyes, his face looked forlorn and empty. “Maybe you're right,” he replied in a small voice. “Maybe it wasn't real.”

             Her eyes widened, and she almost lurched forward as if to stop his thought. “Don't do that to yourself, Aang. It was real; we all felt it. But...maybe it just wasn't meant to be forever.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Aang sighed, and forced himself to chuckle. “I mean, what are the odds of marrying the first girl you've ever seen?”

Toph chuckled too. “Pretty slim, I would say.” She watched as his expression gradually relaxed. “You'll get through this, Aang; I know you will.”

A sliver of sorrow shone in his eyes. “It doesn't feel like it.”

“I know.” Toph snorted as she recalled the past. “Remember that crush I had on Sokka? I was downright crazy about him. When I finally realised that Sokka and I were never gonna happen, I felt so crappy and so silly, but I got past it.”

“How?”

Toph was quiet for a second as she pulled forth her memories. “Well, it took a while to get over it, actually. But I started to realise that we still had a good friendship, and that was all we needed.” She pulled on his shoulder to make him meet her gaze. “You and Katara have a past, and you still have a future as friends, and no one can take that away from you.”

             Aang's lips hesitantly stretched into a smile, and the look in his eyes softened. “Thanks, Toph.” There was still uncertainty and sorrow, but he looked significantly less troubled.

The earthbender let go of his shoulder and started to her feet. “We need to go back,” she said rather suddenly. “There's been some stuff going on out there.”

“What stuff?” he asked as he took her hand and rose to his feet, straightening out his robes.

“At the festival.” Toph paused, debating whether to tell him the truth now or wait for him to find out for himself.

“What stuff?” the Avatar prodded, stress returning to his voice.

“Bad guys crashed the party. Zuko was attacked. The usual.” She struggled to maintain her nonchalance, but her heart started racing as she recalled the events—the intruders, the smoke, the panic in Katara's voice, the alarming stillness of the Fire Lord's body.

“What?!” Aang almost yelled. “Let's go!”

“It's about time,” Toph muttered before falling in behind Aang as he raced to the edge of the grove.

             “How do we get out of here?” panted Toph, struggling to keep up with him.

“I know the way,” he called back. He led her through the misty grove, over thick, gnarled roots and under glistening canopies of weeds and branches. Finally, Aang stopped in a still clearing. Spiritual sunlight beamed through the trees, illuminating the tiny particles of dust and mist. The Avatar sat down and brought his fists together. Toph watched with awe as his tattoos started to light up, and the swamp seemed to hum to life. Ribbons of fog swirled around him, and Toph saw Aang's memories dance on the mist. She watched the scenes of Aang and Katara, studying their faces and practically feeling the emotions passed between them. The earthbender felt a pang of jealousy that she had not yet had such a bond. She tore her eyes away and focused on Aang, whose tattoos glowed brighter as the memories on the mist seemed to glare. “Aang?” she said, her voice trembling. The entire swamp was shaking now, and the spiritual energy was heavy in the air. Toph's skin tingled, and the spots of sunlight danced wildly around them. “Aang...!” She lunged forward and gripped the Avatar's shoulder, hoping to rouse him from whatever bad thing might have possessed him. Heat surged through her hand and arm, but she couldn't break herself away from him. Toph looked up, and noticed that now the scenes from the Avatar's mind were starting to break apart. As the spirit swamp shook, the memories on the mist crumbled away, and the Avatar's glow was blinding. Toph tightened her grip on his shoulder just as the world around them exploded in light.

 ===

             The smell of fresh, dewy grass filled her nose, stirring her mind awake. The chatter of various little creatures echoed in the distance of the swamp. Darkness had fallen back over her eyes, and she knew they had returned.

“Aang?” She prodded the boy beside her, and he also stirred to consciousness.

“I'm awake,” he said quickly, and leaned forward to rise. Toph took his hand as he then pulled her to her feet. She staggered for a moment, collecting herself and her senses. The sudden need to rely upon her earthbending again was dizzying. When she was finally steady on her feet, she turned to Aang. “We have to get back to the palace.”

“Was everyone okay?”

Toph was quiet for a minute. “I don't know,” she said weakly. “Zuko was in pretty bad shape when I left. It's been a couple weeks, and...” She trailed off, refusing to entertain whatever theory might come next. In an attempt to be optimistic, she added, “Katara's been with him, so I'm sure he's—”

“Katara's with Zuko?” Aang cut in. Toph tried to discern his mood, but his voice was smooth and flat. She immediately regretted having mentioned his ex-girlfriend and the Fire Lord in the same sentence, and could only imagine what must have been churning through Aang's mind now. Toph grabbed his arm and started leading him away, as if to also lead him away from his thoughts. “Let's just get out of here.”

 ===

             It was evening when they returned to the Fire Lord's palace. Aang's heart dropped when he saw that the gardens still bore signs of the attack. The ground was scuffed and burnt, and the stage Zuko had stood upon was torn apart. The attack had been nearly three weeks ago, but the fear was very fresh. The air was still, eerily so—Aang could almost feel the anxiety and anticipation of another attack. He found himself very aware and cautious of where he stepped, even though his earthbending told him the coast was clear. “What happened out here?”

             “I'm not exactly sure,” replied Toph. “I felt a bunch of people rushing through the crowd and homing in on Zuko. There was a commotion. Zuko screamed. Katara screamed. Everyone screamed.” Toph paused as the memories came to the fore of her mind. “I don't know what happened after that. Katara sent me to find you while she went up to help. I don't know who it was, or why, or what happened to Zuko.” Fear tugged at her heart, and Toph quickly tried to shift her thoughts.

             Aang and Toph continued through the scarred gardens to the grand front doors of the Fire Lord's palace. Before Aang even had the chance to knock, a palace guardian appeared and stood in front of him defiantly. When he noticed the Avatar's tattoos, he bowed his apology and stepped aside. Aang asked him to bring them to Zuko. A Fire Sage came and led them inside, dropping them off in the foyer as he promised to fetch the Fire Lord.

             A few minutes later, a tall figure in crimson robes came limping into the foyer, a crutch on one side and Katara on the other. Aang quickly averted his gaze when the waterbender neared.

“You found him,” she said to Toph as she guided the Fire Lord to a chair. Aang snuck a glance when Katara had her back to him. When Zuko was settled, she turned to Aang. “Where have you been?” she demanded, but her voice was tired and troubled.

Aang ignored her and asked the firebender, “How are you holding up?”

Zuko groaned perfectly on cue, and leaned back to show the bandages around his chest and abdomen. “I feel like hell,” he chuckled. “But I'm still kicking.” Aang tried not to notice the appreciation in Zuko's eyes when he exchanged glances with Katara, and he tried not to notice the jealousy boiling in the pit of his stomach.

“Well,” he began, struggling to keep his tone positive, “I'm glad you're doing better.”

 ===

             “Who were those people, anyway?” Toph asked, breaking the tense silence that ensued. “What did they do to you?”

Zuko carefully took a breath as he collected his memories. “I...I'm not sure, exactly.” He gave a quick laugh. “You're going to think this is crazy, but...it almost felt like my insides were tied into knots. Like the veins in my arms and chest were just knotted up, and I couldn't move.”

A chill ran through Katara when she heard his description. “Knots?” She shared a horrified glance with Aang. “That sounds like bloodbending.”

“It was a full moon,” Aang pointed out.

Toph scoffed. “Wait, I thought the only bloodbender out here was Hama.”

Katara furrowed her brows. “Maybe not.” She turned to Zuko, whose quizzical gaze passed from Aang to her. “There could be more bloodbenders with a grudge against the Fire Nation.”

             A long pause followed as the team mulled over their theories. Could it have been Hama? Katara wondered. But she seems a little old to be involved in something like this. Could she have a gang?

“So, what do we do now?” asked Toph.

“I can send my men out in search of the assailants,” Zuko said.

“Weren't they sent out just after the attack?” Katara asked.

“They couldn't find anyone—”

Toph snorted. “That's some crack team you got there.”

“—but they didn't search that far,” Zuko finished, ignoring the remark. “I'll send them out farther, out to wherever this Hama was.”

Aang shook his head. “I don't think that's a good idea. If it is Hama, then it'll just be like the Fire Nation is hunting her down again, and that won't go over well.” His voice softened as he recalled Team Avatar's run-in with the aged bloodbender. “Besides, you don't know how powerful she is. She manipulated all of us at once.”

Katara shivered, remembering all too well the betrayal of her tribeswoman. She could still feel the knots in her veins and the stiff, mechanical movement of her muscles as someone else controlled her like a puppet.

             “We have to find the bloodbenders before the next full moon,” Aang concluded. “Who knows what the next step will be?” He stood and turned to Katara. Toph had already risen beside him. “We'll have to start the search first thing in the morning.” Aang looked at Katara expectantly.

She shook her head. “I have to stay here. If the bloodbenders return, I'm the only one who can take them.”

The Avatar's eyes seemed to glint with sorrow, and he fell quiet.

“Katara,” chuckled Zuko, wincing as he leaned forward to meet her eyes, “I'll be fine. I can handle myself.”

“Not in your condition,” scoffed the waterbender. “I'm not taking any risks.” To Aang, she asserted, “Go without me. I'll stay here and keep an eye on things.”

Aang held her gaze for several moments, seemingly searching her eyes for an alternate answer. Finally, he nodded. “Okay, if you say so. Toph and I will head out and check the colonies first thing in the morning.”

             After another twenty minutes of light discussion, it was well into nighttime, and the group decided to disperse. Toph was the first to head out the door. Zuko summoned a sage, who ushered him back to his quarters. Aang and Katara stood alone in the foyer, lost in awkward silence. Katara watched him, trying to figure out the emotions in his face. He kept his expression obscure, except for the sadness still in his grey eyes. Finally, Katara stepped forward. “Aang, I—”

He held up his hand to stop her in her words. “Don't. Katara, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stormed off like that. I just...” Aang heaved a heavy sigh and let his shoulders drop. “I just didn't know how to handle this.”

Katara eyed him carefully. “How are you handling it?”

He paused, lowering his gaze and his voice. “It'll take some time.”

“Are we okay?” asked the waterbender, leaning in to catch his gaze.

Aang stared at her, and let a small smile creep onto his lips. “Yeah. We're okay.” He sat back down on the lounge. Katara followed suit, taking her seat across from him and waiting for him to continue. “I'm sorry about the proposal thing. I didn't mean to push you into anything. I...I thought we were ready.” After a deep sigh, he murmured in a defeated voice, “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

             Hearing the defeat and desperation in the powerful Avatar's words made Katara's heart sink. In this moment, she longed to be able to take back the last few weeks. “I thought so, too. But...” She reached back into her mind, running through her thoughts and emotions throughout their relationship. She found herself struggling to identify a moment when she loved, truly loved, the Avatar. There had been many times she loved being with him. She loved who he was—a gifted boy with a kind heart and a strong soul. Katara had great affection and admiration for him. But love?

“I think I just felt kind of obligated.” Katara stifled a sigh as the words left her tongue. Finally, all the questions she struggled to answer and the feelings she couldn't discern came together. She wasn't in a relationship with Aang out of love—it was out of a sense of obligation.

Aang looked puzzled. “What do you mean by that?” he asked defensively.

The waterbender tried to cushion her response with a giggle. “Well, I was a kid. You were the Avatar. I felt honoured at first that you chose me. I was dazzled by it all, I guess—plus, there was a lot going on, and it was hard just keeping our heads on straight.” Katara sighed. “As time went on, I just felt like I was in too deep, and...”

“Basically, you felt roped into a relationship,” Aang offered.

“Well...” Katara hesitated, but couldn't think of a gentler way to put it. “Yeah.”

             “I'm sorry,” Aang replied, furrowing his brows. “If I had any idea you felt that way—”

Katara shook her head. “It's okay. I'm just glad we're able to talk about this,” she said with a smile.

“Me, too.” He tried to reflect her smile, but there was still something troubling his face. “So...Zuko, huh?”

Katara raised a brow. “What about him?” she asked, angling her head and peering at him guardedly.

“You're with him now?”

The waterbender lurched backwards and gaped at him. “What?” She wasn't sure whether she should be offended or amused. Her mind reeled at the accusation. “What the hell are you talking about?!” she yelped incredulously. “Are you out of your mind?”

Aang leapt to his feet defensively. “I see the way you two act and the way you two look. I know there's something going on between you.”

Still she gaped at him, unable to believe what he was saying. “Are you out of your mind?!” she repeated. “Zuko and I are just—how can you even think—?!” Katara stammered helplessly for another minute until she finally collected herself. “What is wrong with you? Aang, the only reason I'm here is to help Zuko. He was almost killed. He's still in danger, and I'm the only one who can protect him. That's it.” Katara glared at him furiously, but inside she wanted to break down and cry. How could her best friend be so mistrustful of her? How could he think something so ridiculous?

             They stared at each other, glared at each other, neither knowing where to go from there. Finally, Aang backed down. He took a few steps back, and softened his voice, but his words were still clipped with anger. “Fine. You're right; I'm sorry. It was a crazy thought.” He stood awkwardly, shifting on his feet as if trying to work up something else to say. “Never mind,” he muttered. “I should get going.” He turned and shuffled towards the grand doors. A Fire Sage suddenly appeared to usher him out. “Good night,” Aang said over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Katara huffed. “Good night.”

 ===

             “Am I a monster, Katara?”

She looked up from the crackling fire and studied his face. She searched his eyes—they were the same eyes as all the other monsters, but there was something different in his. His amber eyes lit up like the fire before them, but they were softer and gentler than the flame. “You used to be.”

 ===

             The eyes. Those amber eyes. They haunted her childhood. And now she was surrounded by them.

She, Aang, Sokka, and Toph had plunged into the heart of the Fire Nation, hiding in plain sight. It was the last place on Earth she wanted to be, surrounded by people who looked like the monster who killed her mother.

             Katara knew how important it was for them to be here, so she never let on how much it was destroying her. With every day that passed, every day that they remained in the Fire Nation, Katara felt more and more of herself being chipped away. She felt lost and bare, felt like she had been stripped of her Water Tribe identity. What was she without her necklace and traditional hairstyle? She might as well have just been one of them.

             She felt exposed and vulnerable—these were the same people who hunted her tribesmen down, and she always wondered if they would come for her next. Sometimes, she would try to assuage herself by thinking about what Aang must have been feeling. The Fire Nation took his entire race from him, and still he refused to let that skew his perception and judgment of them. There were good Fire Nation people—he had known a few. But Katara had never known a good firebender, and couldn't convince herself that it was possible. Even when she looked around at the children of the Fire Nation, all she could see were little monsters in the making. She hated when she thought like that. She knew they were as much victims in this war as she, but she also knew what they would become. After all, the monster who took her mother away from her was once a child.

             Zuko's joining of the group was traumatic, to say the least, for Katara. She didn't know what to make of it. She didn't even know what to make of her feelings about it. She worried that the enemy had infiltrated her group. She knew she couldn't trust Zuko, not ever again. He had been the one firebender Katara thought might have been good, the one firebender she thought she could trust. In Ba Sing Se, she got the impression that he was as lost in this war as she—that he was a lost boy who didn't know how to find his way out of the mess his family created. Katara was sure he had it in his heart to do what was right and to break the cycle of terrorism and tyranny, but then he stood against her and betrayed her trust, and she was certain that nothing good could ever come from the Fire Nation.

             Now Zuko was promising he changed, and seemed desperate to make her believe him. Aang, foolhardy optimist that he was, trusted the firebender's word, and Toph assured her that he was honest. But still Katara couldn't bring herself to trust him, or to forgive him for his crimes or the crimes of his people. The monster stole her mother's life, and Zuko stole her trust, and she was never going to let herself be vulnerable to a firebender again.

             But then he offered to hunt down the monster for her. He struck a very sensitive chord, and she couldn't turn down the offer. Katara was skeptical, naturally. What was the Fire Lord's son up to this time? Would he lead her into an ambush? Or the opposite—lure her away so he could ambush and kill the Avatar? But Aang had faith in Zuko, and Katara trusted Aang's judgment, no matter how much she might have disagreed with it. Curiosity and a need for closure overrode her suspicions, and Katara took him up on his offer.

             Her resentment had festered leading up to the confrontation. The closer they came, the more Katara played with thoughts of killing the monster. She had a few different methods figured out, from drowning him to stabbing him with ice daggers to squeezing his heart with bloodbending. The moon was full, the dark power of her ancestors pulsed through her veins, and she relished being in control of the monster's body. Katara wanted to end him that moment, but it didn't seem proper. She bent her silky stream of water into shards of glittering ice and menacingly held them over his head. Hatred surged through her, and she didn't know why she had paused. But as she suspended the ice over his shivering, cowering body, she remembered who she was, and she wasn't a killer. Something, the glint of terror in his amber eyes, reminded her of her mother. She imagined Kya must have had that same glint, and Katara suddenly saw herself as the kind of monster she'd spent her life despising. She let the ice darts melt and drench the monster, now reduced to nothing more than an empty, pitiful coward.

             Katara and Zuko spent most of the night in silence. They lit a fire on the coast and huddled around it. Katara found herself lost, glaring into the flames, hypnotised by the element as she wondered how her mother had suffered at its hands.

“Katara?” Zuko asked after a very long time. When she didn't answer, he inched towards her. “Are you okay?”

She tried to keep her eyes fixed on the fire, but finally looked at Zuko. She was silent at first, just staring at him absentmindedly. “I don't know.” Her mind was blank—or, rather, she wished it were blank. So many thoughts and emotions filled her head, and she couldn't begin to sort through them. One emotion in particular stood out as she suddenly realised how drained and raw she felt. “I've spent my whole life hating that man. My whole life wanting to kill him, and I couldn't do it.”

“You're stronger than I am, Katara,” said the firebender. “Believe me, I understand wanting to kill him, but I'm glad you didn't.”

“I just didn't have it in me,” she said dejectedly. “I'm not like him.”

“That's a good thing,” Zuko replied quickly. “You're not a monster.”

Katara shivered, pulling her knees up to her chin and crossing her arms atop them. “This place is full of them,” she muttered bitterly.

“What about the kids?” he countered. “They're not monsters.”

She gazed back into the fire as a low buzz overtook her thoughts. “But they will be,” she said in a voice as frigid as the night air. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the firebender shift uneasily. He was as unnerved as she by the venom in her words.

“Am I a monster, Katara?” he murmured, angling his head down to catch her gaze.

She looked up from the crackling fire and studied his face. She searched his eyes—they were the same eyes as all the other monsters, but there was something different in his. His amber eyes lit up like the fire before them, but they were softer and gentler than the flame. She remembered them being wild with rage. She remembered fearing him and abhorring him. But now his eyes were kind and his presence was comforting, and it felt like it was a lifetime ago that she hated him. “You used to be.”

 ===

             “Mai broke up with me,” said Zuko one day during a healing session.

Katara let the water fall from her hands and looked at him. “Oh,” she said finally, furrowing her brows as she processed his unsolicited statement. “I'm sorry.” She pulled the water back over her hands and continued. She focused her mind on the pulsing water, hovering it over Zuko's chest as it began to shimmer with healing energy. “Aang and I broke up a couple of weeks ago,” Katara offered in response as she moved the water over him.

“How did that go?”

She resisted a shrug as she pressed the healing water onto his wounds. “Okay, I guess.” Katara bent the element against his skin, running the energy through his wounds and letting it loosen his chi. “I mean, what can you say about a relationship that felt like it lasted a lifetime? Somehow you thought you were supposed to be together, it doesn't work out, and you're not sure what to feel.”

Zuko groaned as the water hit a sore spot. “Empty?” he suggested through gritted teeth. “Like you're suddenly missing half of yourself?”

“Maybe,” she murmured absently. Katara was silent as she pressed her hands gently against his skin. Zuko sucked in a breath, but relaxed as the soothing energy circulated throughout his body. Katara watched the sapphire glow absorbing into and rejuvenating his skin. She smiled when she saw the last of the bruises finally lift, and Zuko's pained expression loosened. “Is that it?” he asked after a time.

“For now,” she replied, helping him sit upright. “There's still a bit of internal damage. I can feel some blockages.”

“So can I,” said the firebender, grunting on cue and gripping his abdomen. “It's like there's a dagger stuck in there sometimes.”

“Sorry about that. There's nothing else I can do right now,” Katara said with a shrug. “We'll have to wait until the full moon. I'll try to unblock the rest of your chi with bloodbending.”

He eyed her. “Is that going to hurt?”

“Probably,” she responded, stifling a grin.

             Katara watched him as he shifted uncomfortably on the lounge, trying to find a sitting position that didn't give him a bolt of pain. She searched her mind for something to lighten the mood. “You know, Aang actually was convinced that you and I were—”

“An item?” Zuko guessed.

“Yeah.” Katara started to laugh, recalling its absurdity. “Can you believe that?”

The Fire Lord shared her laughter. “Really? Wow.” He smirked as he added, “It took me this long just to get you to stop hating me. Remember when you wanted to kill me?”

Katara gasped emphatically as heat flooded her face. “I never wanted to kill you!” she replied. After a thought, she added sheepishly, “I just wanted to scare you a little bit.”

“Well, it worked.” He chuckled lightheartedly, perhaps taking joy in her embarrassment. “Good times.”

             “Has there been any news on the attackers?” Katara asked, abruptly switching the topic.

The jovial look left his scarred face. “No,” Zuko replied, seemingly embarrassed. “My agents couldn't find anything or anyone. It's like the group just vanished into thin air.”

“They'll be back,” the waterbender said grimly.

Zuko stared into the distance. “Tell me about this Hana.”

“Hama,” Katara corrected. “She was a waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. Many years ago, she and a bunch of other Southern benders were captured and imprisoned.” She paused, watching for Zuko's response as she added, “But she later escaped.”

Surprise flickered across his face. “How? Fire Nation prisons are impenetrable.”

“Bloodbending.” Katara shivered at the thought. “She, uh...she figured out how to bend the liquid—the blood—in the elephant-rats in the prison and manipulate them. Then she used that on the guards.” She swallowed against the lump that was forming in her throat. Her memories of that wicked waterbender were fresh in her mind, even nearly three years later. Katara's heart dropped like a stone as she recalled the destructive devices of her element. She gritted her teeth, detesting Hama for corrupting the art of waterbending. “I learned how to bloodbend from her. I thought it was a great resource at first, but after experiencing it for myself...” Katara paused, suddenly feeling a little nauseous at the memory. How she wished she could erase that part of her history, and wished she'd have never learned that corrupted art. “I swore that I would never use it. Fighting people is one thing, but to actually control them like that, to have that kind of power...”

 ===

             Zuko watched helplessly as Katara grappled with her memories. It was deeply unsettling to see the valiant waterbender in such distress as she recounted the past, and Zuko longed to be able to comfort her. He easily remembered his own near-fatal bloodbending encounter a few weeks back, and remembered watching in horror as Katara bloodbent the murderous Yon Rha some years ago. Katara was a fierce but benevolent spirit, and Zuko knew the dark art of bloodbending went against everything she believed. He could see now the trauma it created in her, could see how much she hated and feared having such a power, and he desperately wished he knew how to take away that pain.

             “You know,” he said, leaning forward and eyeing the fresh sunlight pouring through the window, “I've been going stir-crazy the last few weeks. Would you want to join me out in the garden?” He looked at her and waited for an answer. Katara met his gaze, but there was a faraway look in her eyes, like her mind was still stuck in her memories. “I bet the turtle-ducks are hungry,” added Zuko with a smile.

Katara blinked as she returned to reality. After taking a moment to absorb what Zuko had said, she too smiled. “Yeah, okay. That sounds like a good idea.”

             It was a beautiful early afternoon. Sunlight splashed onto the clouds smudged against the sapphire sky, and the colourful blossoms set the garden aglow. Zuko delighted in hearing the breaths that escaped Katara's lips as she took in the scene. “Nice, huh?” he prodded.

“It's gorgeous,” the waterbender said in awe.

He staggered to the far side of the garden, towards the private park. The front of the gardens were manicured and were the site of many public dealings, but farther behind the palace was a quieter and more natural setting. It was where the Fire Lords and their sages meditated, and where Zuko used to feed the turtle-ducks with his mother and sister (when she was a little less insane). Zuko seldom liked to visit this place because of its history. He hated thinking of his mother and the fate she suffered at the hands of his own father. He hated being his father's son, growing up in the shadow of a tyrant. Zuko often found himself lost in such moments of self-loathing, especially while recuperating from his most recent injuries.

“Zuko, you're not your father,” Katara would assure him. “Ozai was a treacherous coward, but you are brave and strong and kind. In spite of everything, you found your own path, you helped end the war, and you're rebuilding an entire nation. And you've made a lot of people proud. You've made me proud.”

             Katara followed him to the pond and helped him to the ground. Soon she knelt beside him and waited. Slowly a small family of turtle-ducks paddled out, squawking as they ran right up to Zuko. He withdrew a small pouch from his pocket and opened it to reveal a mix of seeds and specially baked bread rolls. He held them out to Katara and offered the first pick. She took a roll, broke off a piece, and gingerly held it out towards the pond. She clicked her tongue to draw the attention of the turtle-ducks, but they were more attracted to Zuko and his mother lode of bread. He spotted a flicker of disappointment in Katara's face, so he broke off a piece of bread and tossed it in front of her.

“What—?” Her question was cut off as a swarm of ducklings rushed her. She was stunned for a second, then burst into laughter as the little creatures gobbled up the bread Zuko had thrown and begged Katara for more. The waterbender surrendered her bread roll, letting it fall from her hand and watching as the ducklings dashed for it.

Zuko smiled to himself as he watched, savoring the sound of Katara's laugh, and the way her face crinkled when she smiled, and the joyous glimmer in her sapphire eyes...

             Something within him stirred, and in this moment he realised how truly fond of Katara he had become. Of course, Zuko admired her immensely and was grateful for her aid, but there was something much greater at work. He found himself craving her presence, and when she wasn't near he didn't feel quite the same. They'd spent a great amount of time together lately, talking and reconnecting and filling in what their previously strained acquaintanceship forbade. They shared all of their deepest feelings, regrets, fears, and traumas, shared all the darkest things which had never before been unveiled to another. Katara listened patiently and openly as Zuko unraveled his entire history before her, and he in turn listened to hers. Each was quietly in awe of the other's resolve and their ability to overcome their adversity, and each gained a new respect for the other.

             Zuko looked on as Katara played with the turtle-ducks, and he realised how content he was. He had managed to salvage some good moments from his childhood and thought about them often. But now it occurred to him that he was never as happy, genuinely happy, as he was in this moment. Observing the glee in Katara's face, the delicate way she handled the turtle-ducks, her melodic laughter—

And the way she seemed to glow as the sunlight hit her, highlighting the gloss of her chestnut-coloured hair and illuminating her blue Water Tribe dress against the dark red backdrop of the Fire Nation palace—

It all looked perfectly natural, perfectly in place, almost as if this was where she belonged.

             Some time passed—Zuko wasn't sure how long it had been—and the Sun hung lower in the sky. They had run out of bread to toss and things to say, and reluctantly decided it was time to head back in. Zuko had a meeting in the morning, he reminded himself, and Katara had to reconvene with Aang and Toph. Katara rose to her feet first, and when she leaned down to offer her arm, Zuko insisted on getting up on his own. He struggled to his feet, forgetting how stiff his muscles still were. Katara turned to lead the way back into the palace. Zuko followed at first, then fell back and hovered near a patch of fire lilies. When she hadn't stopped to check on him, he quickly plucked a flower, hid it behind his back, and caught up to Katara.

             When they crossed the threshold into the parlour, his eyes hadn't adjusted from the sunlight. The room was dim, and the outer edges of his vision seemed to glare, but he made out a round figure seated in the parlour.

“Uncle?” asked Zuko as the now familiar figure came into view.

The old man stood and turned, a grin appearing on his face when his nephew neared. “Zuko,” he exclaimed, at first opening his arms for an embrace but pulling back as he sized up the young Fire Lord. “You're hurt. What happened to you?”

Zuko exchanged a glance with Katara, hoping she would respond eloquently for him. When she didn't, the firebender said simply, “There was an attack a while back. It's no big deal.” He gave a stiff, awkward shrug.

Iroh's face wrinkled with concern. “Why haven't I heard of this?”

Zuko glanced down for a moment, feeling a twinge of guilt for keeping his uncle out of the loop. “We've been trying to keep it quiet. We still haven't found the attackers, and we don't want to stir the public into a frenzy.”

The elderly firebender tilted his head as he considered this, and nodded approvingly. “Wise move,” he acknowledged before pulling a face and adding, “But you still should have informed me.”

“Next time,” Zuko said with half a smirk.

             “What brings you here now?” asked the young Fire Lord.

“I just came down to make sure everything was okay,” replied his uncle, “and to help you with the military meetings.”

Zuko gave a dismissive chuckle. “I think I've got it handled, Uncle.”

“No, you don't. Who's the general here? You might have thousands of men at your command, but you still don't know what to do with them.”

Zuko's cheeks started to redden, and he opened his mouth to argue, but quickly thought better of it. His uncle was right—he was always right. Zuko admitted to himself that he still faltered sometimes in his leadership, and his uncle had more experience than anyone on his staff. He also had to admit that he had not fully recovered from his injuries yet, and wasn't always as sharp as he should be.

Iroh grinned, accepting his nephew's silence as surrender. “We should outline our plans before tomorrow's meeting.”

             Katara stepped up beside Zuko and said, “I'll leave you alone, then.” Before turning away, she she advised gently, “Don't overdo it tomorrow, Zuko—take it easy. Remember to listen to your body. If something hurts or doesn't feel right, let me know and we'll schedule a healing session.”

“Thanks, Katara.”

She touched his shoulder lightly before disappearing down the hall.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko noticed his uncle also watching her leave. When she was gone and Zuko turned back to Iroh, he quickly started to feel warm with embarrassment, especially as a curious, knowing glint trickled into the old man's deep, golden eyes. “What?” Zuko cautiously asked.

Iroh's grin seemed to broaden, and he angled his head peculiarly, but whatever was on his mind was determined to stay there. “Nothing,” he answered innocently. “Now, about those outlines. Let's discuss it in the boardroom, shall we?”

 ===

             Iroh let his nephew lead him into a large, bunker-like room at the end of the left corridor. He had been in the council chambers hundreds of times, and it always took him back to when he was a war general. Iroh had a bittersweet feeling about his history. He was proud of his accomplishments, but ashamed of having been on the wrong side of the war. He deeply regretted his role in the war and all the devastation he contributed, but perhaps what Iroh hated most was that he couldn't see the damage until it affected him. The ruins of the war were none of his concern—they happened outside of his world. But when he lost his son in the fray, his eyes were opened, and Iroh saw then everything that was wrong. He partially blamed himself for the death of his son for many years. If he hadn't gotten so swept up in his loyalty to the Fire Nation, he would have seen the havoc it was creating, he would have tried to stop it, and his son would still be alive.

             “Uncle.”

Iroh roused from his thoughts and turned to his caller. “Yes, sorry.”

“You were thinking about the war again, weren't you?” his nephew asked sympathetically, casting his gaze around the various nostalgic effects in the room.

The elder frowned and gave a single nod. “Yes.”

“I do that too,” Zuko said somberly. “I wish none of it had ever happened.” He raised his eyes to the Fire Nation map mounted on the wall, staring at it defiantly as he added, “Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how we correct them.”

Iroh glanced at him, surprised to have heard that come from the troubled young Fire Lord. He's certainly come a very long way, he thought fondly. “How have you been these last few weeks, nephew?”

“I could be worse,” Zuko replied plainly. “If it weren't for Katara, I wouldn't be here at all. She's been amazing,” he finished with a soft chuckle.

“You've become good friends, I gather,” Iroh ventured lightly, putting a careful emphasis on 'friends.'

“You could say that, yeah.”

“Maybe a little bit more, Zuko?”

A trace of alarm flickered across his nephew's face. “What do you mean?” he asked.

             Iroh grinned, having already received his answer. “I was watching you in the garden. You seem very happy together.”

Zuko's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “We're not together,” he said, his voice taking on a defensive inflection. “We're just friends.”

Iroh studied him intensely. Zuko had become good at concealing his emotions, but Iroh always knew better. The fresh, rosy tint in his cheeks, a certain gleam in his eyes, and the way the corners of his lips threatened to curve up into a smile, and Iroh knew. “I don't remember the last time I've seen you look so well and happy, Zuko,” said the elder, watching as the Fire Lord allowed himself to relax and smile. “When were you planning on giving her that fire lily?”

“Oh.” Zuko reached back and pulled the flower from his belt. His eyebrows furrowed sadly when he saw the lily had crumpled a little. “I forgot about it.”

“You really like her, Zuko,” said Iroh, not even pretending to frame as a question what he could plainly see.

“I think so,” the younger firebender responded, turning the fire lily over in his hands. “I never expected this to happen.” He sighed. “We've spent our whole lives as enemies. Then I ended up joining the Avatar and trying to prove myself, and she still hated me.” As Zuko studied the lily, he bit his lip and laughed weakly. “I remember when all I ever wanted was for her to stop hating me. All I wanted was to redeem myself for her. And when I did, I was over the moon.” He looked away from the flower as he added quietly, “Now, all I want is to be closer to her, and I don't know how.”

             “Have you tried just talking to her?” Iroh asked. “She's a sensitive, intuitive young lady, and talking can work wonders.”

His nephew shook his head. “Earlier today, she laughed at the thought of us being together. She thinks it's ridiculous. I could never talk to her about this.” Zuko was quiet for a couple of minutes as he played with his thoughts. Then, he looked back up to his uncle with an indiscernible facial expression. Iroh couldn't tell whether he looked giddy or desperate. “I'm not even sure it's real,” he said in a lighter tone, sounding almost relieved at this thought. “Maybe I'm just not thinking straight. I have been sick for the last few weeks—”

Iroh frowned as he listened to his nephew try to shove away his feelings. “Zuko, it's not healthy to dismiss something like this. This is the happiest I've ever seen you. I can see it vividly in your face—and in hers. I think she likes you, too, but she may be as afraid as you are.”

Zuko kept his eyes fixed on the flower in his hands, and Iroh couldn't tell whether he was listening. Iroh leaned in, trying to get him to meet his eyes. “Talk to her, Zuko.”

Finally, his nephew did meet his gaze, and gave a curt nod. “Okay,” he said in a small voice. “I will.”

Iroh leaned back, content in his victory. He rose to his feet and ambled to a desk against the wall, pulling open a drawer and digging through its papers. He took a few scrolls back to his nephew, and started unraveling them. “Now, about those outlines...”

 ===

             “I'm sorry, by the way.”

She raised her brows and turned towards him. “What for?” she asked, setting aside her tea.

“For yelling at you,” Aang responded with a sigh, “back in the desert.”

The earthbender stifled a laugh. “Aang, you don't have to apologise for that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“It was a year ago, anyway.” With a shrug, Toph added, “I got over it.”

“I know, but—” He took a breath. “It's something I've been holding onto. I keep replaying that period in my mind. I remember the things I felt.” Aang's voice was suddenly closer, and she knew he had turned to face her. “And the things I said. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. We wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for you.”

“Aang, stop,” she said, holding out her palm. “There was a lot of crap going on then. We all said and did things we regret. But I never blamed you for exploding like that. I didn't like it, but...” Toph paused as she pulled on her memories. She frowned as she let herself relive that moment���as she let herself relive the muscles that ached from holding up the sinking library and the heart that ached from feeling like she'd failed the Avatar. A part of Toph longed to tell Aang just how terrible she had already felt, and how much worse he had made her feel, but she resisted. Instead, she swallowed those words, and sighed. “But I know you were going through a lot, so I already forgave you.”

             He echoed her sigh, but his was deeper with relief. “Thanks, Toph. I was miserable. I mean, I—losing Appa was like losing myself. After what the Fire Nation did to my people...” Aang's voice started to crumble as he said, “Appa was all I had left in this world.”

“But you still had Katara and Sokka—and me,” she added in a shy voice. Toph hesitantly reached out and took his hand in hers. “And I'm always here for you.” Butterflies filled her belly and heat filled her face when he unexpectedly placed his hand atop hers and squeezed.

“I know,” Aang murmured.

Time seemed to stand still as Toph's mind went numb and her heart raced, and she was scarcely aware of anything but their joined hands. She could practically feel her heart beating in her throat, and she didn't know why she was so tense and anxious. After what seemed like an eternity, Toph managed to speak. “Aang...”

“Oh,” the Avatar almost yelped, quickly pulling his hands from hers, leaving her feeling cold and empty. “Sorry.”

Toph didn't know how to respond. She wasn't sure she would be able to say “it's okay” because that didn't seem entirely true. She didn't want Aang to feel sorry for having held her hand. In fact, the only thing she wanted right now was to have his hands again. Toph couldn't begin to make her mind work to untangle her thoughts and emotions. All she knew was that her hands felt naked without his.

“Anyway,” Aang started, and Toph knew he could feel the awkwardness in the air. “Thanks.”

“Oh, uh...” Toph finally snapped herself back to reality. She flung her hands to her sides and straightened her back. She willed her voice to be strong and nonchalant as she said, “Anytime, Twinkletoes.”

             Later that day, she set aside some time to replay that peculiar event. Toph tried to analyse it and make sense of what was going through her head, and she was as clueless as before. She practically lost her mind when Aang put his hand over hers, and she couldn't figure out why. It was just Aang, and they were just hands. They've held hands before without it meaning anything. Toph had never felt anything before. It was just that second, and all of a sudden...

...all of a sudden, it was like she couldn't live without Aang. It was like she could be content to hold his hand for the rest of their lives. Toph remembered how acutely aware she was of their closeness, and how it felt like it was still too much distance. She remembered how rapidly her heart was beating, but she didn't want it to stop. She was breathless, frightened, anxious in that moment, and she loved it...and she loved Aang.

             No!! she mentally screamed at herself. Stop thinking like that. He's got Katara, and they're your friends, and you can't... She couldn't finish her thought. She bit her lip as her eyes moistened with tears. You just can't, Toph.

The earthbender heaved a shuddering sigh. She uncurled her fingers, replaying that moment and imagining his hand in hers one last time. They were friends. Nothing less...and nothing more. Toph packed away the event and buried it far in the recesses of her mind, determined to let it rot like the butterflies in her heart.

 ===

             She heard the stiff, uneven footsteps before he entered the room, and jumped up to pour out a cup of tea for him. She smiled when they locked eyes, and he ambled to a chair. “How was the meeting?” asked Katara as she reached into the cupboard.

“It was okay,” the Fire Lord responded.

Katara handed him a cup of jasmine tea before pouring one for herself. “Just okay?”

He took a sip and shrugged. “It went well. We're finally pulling out of the colonies,” said Zuko. “They're going to form a new government independent of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom.”

“Wow,” Katara breathed. “That's great.” She sat down at the table and waved her hand over the tea, stirring it with waterbending.

“Yeah,” he replied with a proud smile.

Katara held her hands against the porcelain cup, relishing the heat against the chilly air of the evening.

             She curiously studied Zuko, who seemed tense and kept averting his gaze. “Is something wrong, Zuko?” she murmured. “You seem...”

“I'm fine,” he replied hastily, still avoiding her eyes. “Just...thinking about...” The firebender trailed off, grasping for the next word. “Stuff,” he finished weakly.

Katara narrowed her eyes at him briefly, scrutinising his expression and trying to figure out what he was hiding. “Oh,” she chirped innocently, “what stuff?”

“Just stuff,” Zuko repeated. After a puzzling ten minutes of silence, he finally lifted his head from his cup and met her eyes. They stared at each other for some time. Katara found his eyes searching hers and his mouth trying to work up something to say, but every time his lips quivered like he might finally speak, he kept quiet instead. Katara tired of waiting for him to say something. “Zuko,” she said gently, “I know something's bothering you. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here.”

Zuko struggled to hold her gaze. She noticed he had suddenly paled, and seemed to be short of breath. “Are you feeling all right?” Katara asked nervously, already reaching for her water skin.

“I'm fine,” he murmured shakily. Zuko glanced down into his tea, and his voice strengthened as he said again, “I'm fine. I...” He shook his head and rose from the table. “I can't talk about it right now.”

Katara gaped at him, thoroughly baffled and worried. “Why not?”

The Fire Lord didn't respond as he shuffled out of the room. Katara leapt to her feet and rushed to the doorway after him, but he had already disappeared down a corridor. “Zuko?” she called, but no one answered.

 ===

             Katara closed the door behind her and collapsed onto the bed. What's wrong with Zuko? she wondered. Is he sick again? Did something bad happen at the war meeting? She couldn't remember ever having seen him look that anxious. He was practically scared sick. The full moon is next week, she realised. Is he thinking about another attack? She thought about his appearance and demeanor. She knew when he first walked in that there was something he was hiding, but it seemed the more Zuko considered talking about it, the more afraid he became. What was he afraid of talking about? Katara was certainly no stranger to peril, and the Fire Lord knew that. If there was something troubling, or if he was worried about an impending attack, why wouldn't he share that with her? They had been sharing so much lately. They had become such close friends. For Zuko to leave Katara in the dark like this was greatly distressing.

             Katara surrendered her thoughts for the night. She changed into her nightwear, fluffed up her pillows and folded over her blankets. She laid down her head, willing her eyes to close and her mind to calm.

             She didn't know how long she had slept before a clamor outside her room pulled her awake. Katara sprang upright, holding her breath as she listened. More clamor—furniture crashing, wood splintering, fists flying, people yelling and grunting. One cry in particular reached her ears, and Katara bolted out of the room in time to see Zuko being thrown back by an angry blast of fire. He staggered and collapsed to the ground, little wisps of flame eating away at the edges of his clothing. “Zuko!” gasped Katara, diving back into her room and grabbing her water skin. She popped open the top and drew out a few drops of water, bending them to his robes and snuffing out the flames. She scurried beside him and ushered him to his feet, quickly running her eyes over him and observing no serious injuries. “I'm okay,” Zuko breathed as he pulled himself together.

             Out of the corner of her eye, Katara saw three dark figures speeding towards them. They were lithe and nimble, and they were wrapped in black. She couldn't see their features, and their eyes all seemed grey. One of them lunged toward her and unleashed a ball of fire. Katara quickly dove out of its way and retaliated with a bolt of water. She bent a stream around the firebender's arm, then pulled back and wrenched him to the ground. Another figure rushed Zuko, drawing up a fist aimed for the Fire Lord, but Zuko swung out and deflected the attack. He pushed the figure back, and leapt into a firebending stance. The Fire Lord threw his fist, but nothing followed. He tried again, adjusting his stance slightly and attempting to throw a firebending punch, but no fire came. Katara saw panic fill his face, and as a burst of flame shot towards him his eyes lit up with fear. Katara dashed in front of him, whipping out a stream of water. Within a blink, the stream was broken, and another figure came before them. They gathered the remnants of Katara's waterbending attack, pulling the stream back together and whipping it against Katara, knocking the breath out of her lungs as she rolled to the ground.

             A firebender and a waterbender... Katara thought, mentally sizing up their attackers. Zuko leapt to his feet and hurled himself at an attacker, who humoured him and allowed him a clumsy swing before barreling into him. Katara watched him hit the floor like a rag doll, bruised and breathless and powerless. Her heart ached to see Zuko so defeated. She swallowed hard and focused her attention on the attackers, drawing out a ribbon of water and crunching it into shards of ice. Katara moved her hands out towards them—and froze. The muscles in her arms wrenched tight. She willed herself to move, but she was no longer in her own power. One of the masked figures approached her, their arms angled towards her. She could feel the blood in her body churning, and it felt like her veins were being twisted. Then the figure curled their fingers and raised their hands, and Katara's back arched stiffly and her body was pulled straight. She stared at the figure who was bloodbending her, and slid her eyes towards Zuko, who looked on horrified and helpless. Suddenly he screamed as his body was wrenched upwards, and he too fell under the bloodbender's spell. Katara looked back to the figures, who were now all in the same stance as the first bloodbender. Terror flooded her as she realised they were all in total control...and it's not even the full moon!

             Katara shut her eyes and took a deep breath. But they're not the only bloodbenders here, she thought, throwing her senses inward and searching for that dark power within herself. She found it nestled deep inside—as she had promised herself she would never use it again—and called it forth. Katara's blood warmed as she summoned the corrupted art, and she could feel movement returning to her, loosening the bloodbenders' hold on her. She directed her power on herself and started to reclaim her will. Inch by inch, Katara broke free, feeling the dark power pulsing through and releasing her. At last, the waterbender took back her power, and she assumed a defensive bending stance. The figures stepped back, momentarily stunned that Katara had broken their bloodbending spell. She looked back to Zuko, who was still in their control.

             The waterbender started to lunge forward with a whip of water. One of the figures took a quick step back, and Zuko yelped as he was yanked towards them. Katara threw a glance to him, and the figures took notice. “Maybe you can escape bloodbending,” they hissed, “but he can't.” With that, all three figures pulled their arms into their bodies, and Zuko flew helplessly towards them. One of the bloodbenders reached out and caught the Fire Lord by the neck. Sheer panic ripped through Katara, and she moved towards them. “Don't hurt him!” She steadied herself and lifted her arm, trying to concentrate on Zuko's blood. She attempted to manipulate him out of the attackers' power, but their hold on him was too strong. Katara saw the bloodbender's fingers tighten around Zuko's neck, and she frantically released a wave of water, hurtling it towards the figures. Suddenly, Katara's arm stiffened and the water dissipated. Her arm wrenched behind her and her knees buckled, and she dropped to the ground. “Katara...!” a voice gurgled. She looked up to see Zuko also being wrenched to the ground, his limbs being bent in grotesque ways. The colour was rapidly draining from his face and his eyes were wide and bloodshot. Katara watched in horror as the Fire Lord collapsed, limp, pale, and gasping for air. The figures stood over him while he struggled to breathe; then, their forms vanished.

             Katara regained a little bit of strength, and pulled herself to Zuko's side. Tears immediately came to her eyes when she got close and saw exactly how bad the young Fire Lord's condition was, and how much worse it was getting. His skin had lost all colour save for a bluish tint, and his eyes were glazed over with agony. Katara carefully placed her hand on his chest, and she could feel the beat of his heart and the pulse of his blood slowing. In between ragged breaths, Zuko struggled to speak. But the pain was too much, and no words could come.

             “I'm sorry, Zuko,” Katara murmured, taking what little strength she had left to curl up beside him. The pain in his eyes softened, and Katara's heart sank to think that, soon, she would never be able to look into his eyes again. She would never hear his husky laugh again, or share a cup of tea with him, or feed the turtle-ducks with him in the garden. All of their shared memories, the good and the bad, hung in the small space between them. With every shallow, grating breath, their memories fell away, leaving Katara and Zuko alone in darkness. Katara felt his heartbeat falter, and knew that he was leaving her. She gingerly took his hand in hers and closed her eyes, begging the spirits that, if he should die, she would die with him. Katara squeezed his hand as if she could hold him in her world, and willed herself not to cry. But the tears came anyway, and when Zuko's hand finally fell from hers, her heart was shattered, and the world around her crumbled to pieces.

[enthralleddd0112]

What They Say about Do Kyungsoo  (Compilation as at July 2017 - will be periodically updated)

Note: List is arranged in chronological order of project’s screening Disclaimer: LONG POST AHEAD

Drama <Its Okay, It’s Love> (2014) Kyungsoo played supporting role, Han Kangwoo, a high school student, the hallucination of male lead actor, Jo Insung. 

Kim Taeyong (Director)

“In his previous project <It’s Okay, It’s Love>, he managed to portray the perseverance of a scarred child and was also able to express righteousness through his eyes. His acting is so outstanding that others around his age is unable to rival his standards.”

Kim Kyutae (Producer)

“Kyungsoo-ssi delivered way beyond my imagination and showed me his potential. Having said that, we still put him through a challenging pre-filming training…his work was definitely above my expectations, especially during the later stages of filming. He gave me the feeling that I discovered a gem.”

Noh Heekyung (Screenwriter)

“Kyungsoo will become a great actor. I like his humility and how he’s focused on delivering his character to his best.”

Jo Insung (Costarring Actor)

“D.O. definitely has what it takes to become an excellent actor. To help, I even shared with him the knacks of acting and everything I knew.”

“D.O.’s biggest charm is his individuality and assertiveness.”

- 韓国TVドラマMagazine Interview

“As everyone knows, he’s really a very busy kid, even during filming intervals, he’ll be required to fly back and forth (Korea), but despite that, it never once affected our filming schedule. He’s also always focused and puts his best foot forward and persevered to the end. Perhaps him being this way helped us achieved such a great outcome.”

- MONTHLY ASIAN NEWS

“Although many may think that he’s here because of (his affiliation to) EXO, but Do Kyungsoo’s acting is really beyond my imagination and I am so surprised. We have really found ourselves a brilliant actor; it's acting that even amazed screenwriter Noh Heekyung and Producer Kim Kyutae."

- TV Drama ‘It’s Okay It’s Love’ Press Conference

Gong Hyojin (Costarring Actress)

“Kangwoo’s expressions are really great. He looks innocent and the appeal of his eyes is really unbeatable. Kangwoo is this drama’s touch of brilliance, really.”

- TV Drama ‘It’s Okay It’s Love’ DVD

Yun Seokjin (TV Drama Critic) 

“D.O. has played his character in such as astounding and in-depth manner…D.O. has a good feel of the role and had successfully played the hallucinated character (in <It’s Okay, It’s Love>)…his growth rate is the fastest among idol-actors.”

- Entertainment Weekly

Lee JeongHwa (Ten Asia News Editor)

“D.O., who played Han Kangwoo in <It’s Okay, It’s Love> is a newcomer actor who’s able to accurately grasp and portray deep sadness. Even when he smiles, he expresses an innocence and immense grief that he may not have even realized. Every time he appears in the drama, he moves the audience. Of course, his stable vocal projection and acting need no further mention.”

Heo Jiwoong & Park Jiyoon (TV Show Hosts)

Heo: “Initially, I didn’t know he was an idol, and he left such a deep impression in that signature scene when he was running alongside Jang Jaeyeol (played by Jo Insung). It’s a pretty challenging scene to do well, but it didn’t appear awkward or pretentious at all.”

Park: “This scene is really one that’s challenging, but he acted really well, a new acting idol is born.”

- JTBC TV programme ‘Ssulzun’ [2014.08.14]

Film <Cart> (2014) Kyungsoo played supporting role, Choi Taeyoung, a high school student, son of female lead actress Yum Jungah. 

Boo Jiyoung (Director)

“He did really well. The casting director recommended him as someone with great eyes but when I saw him, he wasn’t really like the bright, smiley kid shown on the picture. It seems like he has a quiet world of his own, somewhat melancholic, but at the same time having the positive energy of what someone his age should possess. I had a really great first impression of him. Although it’s the first time he’s participating in an acting project, he was able to earnestly absorb and deliver comments and requests that I gave, which is really challenging for a first-timer. Needless to say, I saw potential in him.”

- MONEYWEEK Interview

“When I have only seen his photos that were taken with his ‘idol group’ in his singer capacity, they were all pictures that showed his bright and happy expressions so I could not decide if he was suitable for the role (of Taeyoung), but when I saw him in person, I was genuinely surprised by him. He did not appear like an idol, and is mature and rather quiet. At that point, I was struck by my instinct that this kid will be able to handle the role.”

- IVY Magazine

“Kyungsoo participated in the casting together with other idols. He competed and won the role of ‘Taeyoung’ honourably. Compared to the other actors, his expressive set of eyes was the best.”

Yum Jungah (Costarring Actress)

“Given that this is his debut acting project, he did really well. But what really surprised me was his character – he’s righteous and very courteous – I hope my son grows up and be like Kyungsoo.”

“Do Kyungsoo is really a kid worthy of praise. His acting’s great and he’s also kind. Additionally, as an actor, he’s also prepared himself in many ways, it’s really hard for me to find any weakness.”

- KPOPSTARZ Interview

“D.O.’s acting will change one’s perception on K-Pop idols’ abilities.”

- Apple Daily Interview

Kim Sooan (Costarring Child Actress)

“I like D.O. oppa! I grew to like D.O. oppa as we filmed <Cart> together. His acting is really good.”

- StarNews

Kim Heewon (Costarring Actor)

While attending SBS Power FM ‘Kim Changryul’s Old School’, Kim Heewon was asked, “Among the movies and TV dramas, who is the hoobae that you think have the greatest potential?” to which he revealed, “…the other (actor) that I wish to work with is EXO member D.O., he had an extraordinary charm when he acted for movie <Cart>. Before meeting him, I didn’t know he was a singer, his cold persona in the movie looked really great.”

- SBS Power FM ‘Kim Changryul’s Old School’

Kim Young-ae (Costarring Actress, but shared no scenes together)

“When I watch Kyungsoo’s outstanding acting performance, I’d want to hug him. His acting really amazed me.”

- Movie ‘Cart’ Press Conference

Uhm Junghwa (Actress)

Actress Uhm Junghwa on her twitter, “I attended <Cart> VIP premiere today and it’s really such a great film. It’s heartbreaking…sad…and leaves a deep impression. All the actors were good, and our cute Do Kyungsoo-ssi’s acting is really good too~”

- Uhm Junghwa’s Twitter (@love_tangle)

Roh Hoechan (Politician, Former Parliament Member)

“I had to try very hard to hold back my tears during the premiere of movie <Cart>. Both Yum Jungah’s and Do Kyungsoo’s acting are excellent and the movie’s main lead character is actually E-LAND Union. To be reunited here to watch this movie after 8 years, it feels even more impactful. (The movie is) Highly recommended!”

Drama <I Remember You> (2015) Kyungsoo played cameo role, Lee Joonyoung, as a psychotic serial murderer.  

Jung Sunghyo (Chief Producer)

“Lee Joonyoung is a challenging character to play since he’s supposed to be a beast-like character that’s will strike viewers in a frightening way. Do Kyungsoo was able to digest and deliver the character in a way that’s shockingly great.”

“When acting, Do Kyungsoo isn’t copying anyone (or take references), he really immersed himself in the role so as to portray the character, which is really different from other idols’ acting, allow the outcome to feels whole and rich. After watching <I Remember You>, I think he will definitely receive invitations from many projects.”

- SportsQ Interview

Seo Inguk (Costarring Actor, but shared no scenes together)

“What’s regretful this time is that I don’t have any scenes with D.O.; I was really looking forward to it as I’ve heard how good his acting is. Particularly, he played the younger rendition of Lee Joonyoung, which turned out far beyond my imagination and I am really astonished! I feel that although he’s my hoobae and younger brother, there’s still much for me to learn from him.”

- IQIYI Interview

Kang Yewon (Actress)

During 25th Seoul Music Awards, Kang Yewon mentioned that she has recently watched <I Remember You> and revealed that she’ll like to work with Kyungsoo once. When the cameras pan to D.O., the audience went wild, which shocked Kang Yewon. Thereafter, she mentioned, “If Do Kyungsoo is available/willing, she’d like to collaborate once.”

- 25th Seoul Music Awards

Shin Jaeha (Actor)

“I will refer to similar-aged actors’ projects and recently I have taken a lot of reference from Do Kyungsoo’s performance in <I Remember You>. He feels like a really good actor, I am genuinely astonished by his natural acting talent.”

- Tenasia Interview

Film <Unforgettable> (2016) Kyungsoo played his first lead role, Beomsil, a high school student, who has a innocent and huge crush on of female lead actress Kim Sohyun, and was willing to do anything for her. He shared lead roles with a total of 4 other actors including Joo Dayoung, Lee David and Yoon Joonseok, as the movie depicted the friendship among the five friends. 

Lee Eunhee (Director)

“I actually watched all the projects that Do Kyungsoo was in, so naturally I see him as an actor and not an idol. He has expressive eyes and a good vocal tone. After meeting him, I felt that he was sincere, honest, yet bashful. It’s exactly who Beomsil is. During the filming of the movie, my opinions and perceptions of him were then confirmed.”

- EDAILY

“While I was writing the script, I didn’t really care until I found Do Kyungsoo. He left a really deep impression on me with his performance in <It Okay, It's Love> and his maturity level seems to surpass my imagination. At that time, I thought to myself, ‘How can I possibly not know him when he’s a member of the wildly popular idol group EXO?’ Thereafter, I went to research and collect many of his previous interviews articles as well as a lot of information about him before we eventually met up. Although I still wasn’t sure at that time, I pretended like I knew a lot about him. He’s very conscientious in his work. While he may not have a mature, masculine outlook, but neither does he look like a child. While we filming, I didn’t think he was that good looking. But while we were at the post-production stage, I realized how handsome he truly is. To have debut as an idol, it must have been very challenging. It’s like fighting a war everyday, having to firm his ground in the competitive environment, be it back in the days when he’s a trainee or all the way until now. There must be a reason that keeps him unwavering and a belief that’s spurring him on. To have successfully completed his first lead role movie while showing no signs of fear throughout the 70 scenes that were filmed, it’s highly possible that’s he someone who has what it takes to bear the weight of the crown."

- StarNews

“I find their pupils (of their eyes) very similar. I have previously mentioned that Kyungsoo has eyes seemingly like windows; so does Park Youngwoo sunbae-nim. They can’t hide emotions in their eyes; they can naturally convey emotions through them without having to try too hard.”

- SBS Power FM Cinetown [2016.02.18]

“Kyungsoo is an actor with eyes seemingly like windows such that he’s able to express all emotions through his eyes.”

“When he’s practising the scenes with his co-actors and they need to look him in the eyes - D.O. doesn’t pre-plan how he expresses the scene in his head, he lets his heart and feelings lead him in his acting and expression of the needed emotion, which the scene even more powerful.”

Kim Sohyun (Costarring Actress)

“All the staff on set liked actor Do Kyungsoo.”

“As I have participated in several dramas previously, I carry with me a preconceived image that the audience expect of me due to past projects. Conversely, Beomsil (Kyungsoo) is able to act freely and present a fresher image to the audience. The director had requested that we interacted naturally and I was able to do so, responding realistically to Kyungsoo oppa’s natural acting. Kyungsoo oppa is really expressive, and helped bring out a lot of my genuine emotions. With that, I could respond with even more ‘sincerity’.”

- Star Daily News

“Do Kyungsoo poppa has a manly charm. He speaks considerately and is always courteous to the people around him. Such acts show how mature he is. He’s also very serious when it comes to acting which encourages his co-stars to think deeper too.”

- Focus News [2016.08.31]

“When filming with D.O. oppa, I don’t think of anything else. Oppa is able to present and showcase the character’s emotions at every moment, and so I don’t have to try too hard to evoke my own emotions. I just need to follow oppa’s (acting) momentum to act.”

Joo Dayoung (Costarring Actress)

“I had originally only thought of Kyungsoo oppa as an amazing actor. I wasn’t aware that he is a member of EXO. I am not one that pays much attention to idols and had previously noticed him through drama <It’s Okay, It’s Love>. After costarring in the movie together, I then found out the existence of EXO-Ls.”

Park Youngwoo (Costarring Actor)

“I have never mentioned that only Kyungsoo is great, but I must admit that I did say he’s really good looking. But based on what Director Lee said, it seems that I become expressive whenever I see him. It must seem that I really like Kyungsoo a lot. Whenever I meet Kyungsoo, I will naturally give him a hug first.” 

“I suppose I behave that way since he’s ‘me’. I don’t really understand Kyungsoo, so I can’t say we are close. But exactly because I think of him as ‘me’, I can naturally do that (give him hugs and/or take care of him). Don’t overthink matters. No matter what, since we play the same character, I may have been being more emotionally attached to him.”

Hwang Seokjeong (Costarring Actress)

When responding to what she thought of the five lead young actors, “They are all kids with strong desires. They all had their ideas and opinions, which included portraying their respective characters well and not to let down the entire movie. They accorded ‘pure love’ to their characters. Although Kyungsoo had the least acting experience, he is gifted with an extraordinary charm which is amazing.”

- The Fact Interview [2016.02.24]

“I don’t have many scenes with Kyungsoo nor Sohyun, so we aren’t that close. However, whenever I see them on set, I often wind up asking myself ‘What do I do to have such innocent and bright eyes (expressions)?’ It’s amazing, I should have experienced those when I was at their age too.”

Web Drama <Be Positive> (2016) Kyungsoo played lead role, Kim Hwandong, a university student who received funding for his film project but encounters many other problems that he needs to overcome. 

Lee Byeonhyun (Director)

“I had observed D.O., Xiumin, Suho and Kai’s acting in great detail.”

“Because of the desire to work with him (D.O.), I’ve been observing him a lot.”

- MBC every1 ‘Video Star’ [2016.09.20]

“I already liked D.O. during his performance in movie <Cart>. I’ve never expected him to act so well, I’m truly astonished. I’ve watched his projects such as SBS drama <It’s Okay, It’s Love> and movie <Unforgettable>, among others. When I saw him in person, his eyes are clear and deep, I’m totally absorbed by them. I would like to collaborate with him at least once and wasn’t expecting an opportunity to come by so quickly. As compared to movie <Twenty>, I believe this character that’s really cheerful, healthy and youthful, matches D.O. really well.”

Joo Woojae (YGKPlus Model, DJ and Radio Show Host)

“A web drama that I’ve been following recently. (His) Acting is really good. It’s as if he’s a person just like Hwandong. He’s really natural. It’s funny. #BePositive #DoKyungsoo”

- Joo Woojae’s twitter update (@toysiesta) [2016.11.03]

Lee Song Hee II (Director)

OP’s acquaintance works in filming industry and knows many directors. He (she) said whenever he (she) meets his (her) friends, he (she) hears many praises about Kyungsoo saying that he cooperates well and he’s nice and very polite. Director Lee Song Hee Il  is one of the members of jury during BiFan this year. He knows Director Lee Byeonhyun (who directed <Be Positive>) and also close to OP’s acquaintance. After Director Lee Byeonhyun praised Kyungsoo, he watched <Be Positive> and during drinking party, he talked to OP’s acquaintance for 3 hours and a half praising Kyungsoo non-stop.

- via twitter fan acc @dyominati [2017.08.15]

Film <My Annoying Brother> (2016) Kyungsoo played lead role, Goo Dooyoung, an up-and-coming national judoka who lost his sight during an accident in a competition. He played against Jo Jungsuk, who played his elder brother, who’s a swindler, and made used of his accident to obtain a parole out of prison.

Kwon Sookyung (Director)

“It’s extremely lucky and I’m grateful that the two actors that I had in mind (referring to Jo Jungsuk and Do Kyungsoo) for the respective roles passed the casting.”

- 韩EToday

Jo Jongsuk (Costarring Actor)

“He’s really cute and polite, and one can conclude that’s he’s got a good upbringing. While we do share some age gap, he’s really such a courteous kid, so despite only meeting a couple of times, I have a good feeling about him. I have been interested to film a movie with a warm storyline for quite a while, and audience will be able to feel warmth from the movie <My Annoying Brother>."

- OSEN News

“All thanks to the staff, filming has ended smoothly. Kyungsoo, my young brother also displayed a never-before charm in the movie, please look forward to it.”

- Movie <My Annoying Brother> Celebration Dinner

“As I've watched movie <Cart>, I didn't have any negative perception of him. In fact, it even felt good after meeting. Do Kyungsoo’s got very good focus. I had previously shared with him that ‘his many emotional portrayals doesn’t seem to be captured onscreen,’ to which he accepted graciously and even worked on improving his acting It’s undoubtedly challenging to portray emotions, but he does them well. I think he’s a very sensitive actor.”

- TV Report [2016.11.16]

“To be honest, you know how it's like to have brothers at home, and we would have the feelings that "we are not so alike"? But it's amazing that after spending more time together and staying together, we start to become similar in some way and this is what I experienced with Kyungsoo during the filming of movie <My Annoying Brother>...yeah...I actually felt that way during the three months of our filming together. As compared to the first half of the movie filming, I started to have the thoughts of, ‘we are really alike’ a lot more often during the second half of the filming process. Actually, instead of saying that we look alike in terms of our appearance such as our eyes, ears, mouth or nose, don't you think that we are similar is more ways than that, such as our aura and image? By being alike in those ways, it makes me feel good.”

- KBS TV Interview [2016.11.16]

"When I was watching Do Kyungsoo in the movie <Cart>, I enjoyed his performance. Coincidentally, both of our first movies were produced by Myung Films. I feel that his acting is really good. During his appearance as supporting character in drama <I Remember You> to which he was playing a psychotic patient, I again felt that his acting was outstanding since he managed to create an impactful presence. I thought to collaborate if there was such an opportunity." 

"When working together, I feel that he's really smart and learns really fast. I looked up the web drama <Be Positive> that he was in and it was really interesting so I kept on watching. A character that's vibrant yet a little annoying, he played it really well. While acting with me, he presented yet another side of him." 

"I look forward to seeing his future. I got word that many have shared their advice and feedback with Kyungsoo. He's also got a group of close hyungs, to whom some are really good actors. I believe that would also be helpful to him."

- xportsnews [2016.11.17]

“...I had previously thought of Kyungsoo as a good actor, so I thought it would turn out well. When I saw Kyungsoo, it felt like I saw my younger self.”

“(He) Knows how to take care of seniors, polite, gentlemanly and very kind. One can observe these qualities easily. I sort of understand why he has that ‘AlMoKyung’ nickname but am unable to explain it in words. But it's really quite a fatal quality of his.”

“Dooyoung is the younger brother who's righteous, strong and man(ly), yet have an innocent and pure heart that's very much like a crystal ball. When others ask me how's Kyungsoo like, I'll say he's very masculine. I find him a very good match with Dooyoung.”

- Allure Magazine [Dec’16 issue]

“Before our meeting, I was under the impression that he may be a little weak and someone who may be immature, but he was nothing like that in reality. He’s very handsome and especially manly, somewhat the feeling of a strong masculine presence in a man, I was really surprised. Although I believe that the fans already know, but he’s someone who’s very manly despite his baby face. He’s one with that kind of charm.”

- Vogue Japan Online [2017.05.16]

“D.O. is really multi-talented and his focus is really great. Although he may look like a cute maknae, you’ll realise how bright and masculine he really is, after getting to know him better. By being that way, he can make the character of Dooyoung live on strongly.”

"Hmm, actually there’s really only Kyungsoo (laughs). Just recently, I have watched Kyungsoo in his web drama <Be Positive>, and felt that his acting is really good. So when I meet Kyungsoo, I’ll say, ‘you are the best.” That web drama demonstrated Kyungsoo’s personal charm and acting abilities perfectly. I feel particularly pleased for him, that he’s got such a promising future and will continue to anticipate his future performances.”

- Marisol Online [2017.05.19] Related post here.

“To me, he’s a unique one-of-a-kind brother. Despite only knowing each other through the filming of movie <My Annoying Brother>, he’s a kind, polite and a very charismatic younger brother. While filming, I’ve not just fallen in love with actor Do Kyungsoo, but am bought over by him as a person.”

- ETNEWS [2017.06.17] Related post here. 

Kim Woobin (Actor)

“I watch movie <Hyung> recently because of Kyungsoo, our maknae is doing so well once again. (smile) Why is he doing so well from the beginning (of the movie)? I don’t understand.”

- Interview [2016.12.19]

Film <Room No.7> (2017) Kyungsoo plays lead role, Taejung, a 20-something young adult who needed to repay student loans and hence worked as a part-timer at the DVD viewing shop, had to battle against 'Doosik’ (played by Shin Hakyun) in the film. 

Lee Yongseung (Director)

"While on set, I spoke many times and at length with Kyungsoo when  filming. ‘Taejung will do this during this situation,’ or ‘if it’s Taejung, he’ll probably do something else.’ While listening to his analysis and thoughts, I was surprised at how much he has prepared (for the filming/movie).”

- Cine Diary Volume 2 handed our during BiFan 2017 (2017.07.14)  Related post here. 

Owen Cho Wonhee (Director)

@joydvzon: “Please look out for actor Do Kyungsoo - <Room No.7> review”

@joydvzon: “There are 3 acting geniuses in <Room No.7> - film’s frontliner, acting genius Shin Hakyun; up-and-coming star, acting genius Do Kyungsoo; and black horse acting genius Kim Dongyoung. The way Do Kyungsoo show distinction and portrayed between calmness and excitement is extremely scary (implied in an unbelievable positive way), yet also maintain meticulousness in the all areas in between.”

@sarozabda​: “He’s totally an actor right ㅎㅎㅎ"

@joydvzon: “He was already one since film <Cart>…”

- Personal Twitter @joydvzon (2017.07.14)  Related post here.

Film <With God> (2017 & 2018) Kyungsoo will playing supporting role, Private Won Dongyuen. Little details have been revealed of his character in the film. 

Won Dongyuen (Producer)

“Why would I have a negative impression of idols-actors after watching Yim Siwan in movie <Incomplete Life: Prequel> and Do Kyungsoo in movie <Cart>? Ultimately, it is not a matter of whether the character is played by an idol but rather exactly who has been chosen to portray the role in question. Nevertheless, up until yesterday, I did not know who Do Kyungsoo is but after watching the movie <Cart>, I have now become his fan.”

“Being an ahjussi, I can be declared innocent by not knowing Do Kyungsoo, but as a movie producer, I am guilty.”

- Won Dongyuen’s Twitter (@shywdy) [2014.11.04]

“My focus is not on EXO’s D.O. but instead on actor Do Kyungsoo. It’s not a matter of a few days, I have noticed him since movie <Cart> in 2014 and I have been keeping an eye on him over the past 3 years. I have always been astonished and pleasantly surprised with his acting abilities. He’s a good actor.”

- Won Dongyuen’s Twitter (@shywdy) [2016.04.18]

Animation Film <Underdog> (estimated to release Spring/Summer 2018) Kyungsoo voiced over for lead character, Moongchi.

Shim Jaemyung (Producer)

“Prior to the filming of the movie, I met Do Kyungsoo with the Director in the office. He gave a cordial 90-degree deep bow and appeared to be very nervous and even his ears turned red. I could feel his passion and sincerity from this. His acting basics is also better than I have expected.”

- NEWSEN Interview

Oh Sungyoon (Director)

“His voice acting was exceptional. I decided to cast him because I was deeply moved by his acting in the movie <Cart>. I’ve seen his voice acting three times, and he’s so good at it that I see him as an acting genius.”

- <Underdog> Rough-cut Premiere and Stage Greeting during 2017 Seoul International Cartoon and Animation Festival (SICAF) [2017.07.28]

“For actor Do Kyungsoo, I had the thought of ‘I must definitely work with him in the future’ after watching film <Cart> (2014). But after finishing that film, I realise I couldn’t see any other actor besides Do Kyungsoo (laughs).”

- Cine21 Interview [2017.08.14] Related post here.

Film <Swing Kids> (Estimated 2018) Kyungsoo will be playing lead role, Roh Kisoo, a North Korean soldier who’s also a Prisoner-of-War in a refugee camp, that finds himself falling in love with and fighting for tap dance in the chaos of war and survival. 

Kang Hyeongcheol (Director)

“The moment I saw Do Kyungsoo, it seemed as if he’d jumped straight out of the movie’s scenario. I even wondered if his path had taken him here just for this movie to happen.”

“Swing Kids will be a film that features dancing - rare in Korea. [The lead] can’t just be good at acting. His character must seem like a boy teetering on young adult, and he has to dance well too. All that made Do Kyungsoo seem like fate.”

“I wasn’t aware that Do Kyungsoo started as an idol. I wasn’t particularly concerned with how established my lead would be, just that he would best fit the role […] Large budget films need conviction behind careful casting. I haven’t had second thoughts since meeting Do Kyungsoo.”

- Star News [2017.05.10]

Others interviews and mentions

Gong Hyungjin (Actor)

“Take EXO’s Do Kyungsoo as an example, who’s seen a breakthrough in the (acting) genres that he does. I am in awe of idols that can act well and I’d think ‘Ah, I’ll want to become a recognized and widely accepted idol too.’”

- SBS k.star

Im Juhwan (Actor)

“I was hanging out with Kyungsoo recently, he’s got a stage name, so calling him D.O. should also be correct. Initially, as he’s an idol, I am curious how he’s like as a friend. Besides, I’ve heard a lot about him having a huge desire when it comes to acting. Jo Insung hyung is not someone who will comment on hoobaes often, but he’ll keep mentioning him and how this friend of his is not bad, so our gatherings now have a newest addition of a maknae. During such gatherings, ‘acting’ topics take up 75% of our chats, and it’s really nice and sincere. Among us, if anyone were to be participating in an upcoming TV drama or film, the rest of us will support and evaluate…because we will help to evaluate, we believe you can do it well.”

- My Daily Interview

Yang Seongmin (CJ E&M Casting Head)

“Many insiders have expressed interest on Do Kyungsoo. There are only a handful of actors in their 20s that can take up a lead role position and it’s undoubted that he should be included in this list. His fan base is pretty stable and this comes partly from his natural acting. I believe he’s more than qualified and competent to undertake the lead role position. He has also used his acting abilities to breakthrough from viewers’ possible prejudice against singers. He’s also immensely interested in acting so I think he’s more than capable to overcome viewers’ misperception on idol-actors.”

- XSPORTSNEWS

Yoon Sangho (Director)

“If there’s a remake of a Leslie Cheung movie, Do Kyungsoo would make a good fit of his characters.”

- Park Ji Yoon FM Date [2016.02.14]

Yoo Youngjin (S.M. Entertainment’s Producer, Lyricist, Composer and Singer)

“On 19 February, upon the release of collaborative duet ‘Tell Me (What Is Love)’ between Yoo Youngjin and EXO member D.O., the song achieved an all-kill record across major Online Music Sites. “Singer” Yoo Youngjin’s comeback has taken far too long…So why did Yoo Youngjin suddenly decide to return in the capacity of a singer? What more a collaboration with hoobae D.O., an EXO member. Regarding this, SM explained, ‘Yoo Youngjin once mentioned that D.O. reminded him a lot of his singer days and hence planned this project.’”

- XSPORTSNEWS

Miryo (Brown Eyed Girls member)

Brown Eyed Girls’ Miryo has mentioned in one of her interviews that she’ll like to collaborate with Zico, Shinee’s Jonghyun, EXO’s D.O. and Zion.T at least once.

- BNTnews

Doyoung (NCT U member)

“D.O. hyung is my role model, I’m already his fan during my trainee days. He’s good at acting, sings well and also humorous when he speaks.”

- Kim Shinyoung’s Noon Request Line

Jeahyuk Jung (Vogue Korea magazine Editor)

“This year’s best actors include Chun Woohee, Esom, Choi Wooshik, Do Kyungsoo, Dane DeHaan…and Sota Fukushi.”

Min Yongjun (Elle Korea magazine Editor)

“An idol’s power, Do Kyungsoo is doing really well. I’m puzzled; how is it possible that idol these days can act so well?”

So Jaewon (Author, notable book titled ‘Wish’)

“Just like Kyungsoo’s beautiful eyes, his fans’ supports are equally beautiful, it’s very moving…I believe that even if he weren’t a singer, he’ll also still be a cool person as an actor. I’m quite certain that he’s a man with a warm heart.”

Choi Sooin (Child Actress)

“...Although I like EXO, I’ll pick D.O. if I had to choose one member.”

“I watched the movie <Unforgettable> at home. D.O. seems to do everything very well - he sings well, also dances well, and seems very good in acting too.”

- Cine21 [2016.06.17]

Movie Poster Photographer 

“For the many idols that challenged acting, there are many that surpassed expectations and does it well. They are familiar with what to do in front of the camera, in particular Do Kyungsoo, he left a deep impression.”

- Woman Sense [Sep’16 issue]

Yoo Jaesuk (Variety Show Host)

“Kyungsoo was taking care and supporting me from behind. He had noticed and came forward to teach me. I am very thankful for Kyungsoo.”

- Infinity Challenge [2016.09.17]

Reporters Kim & Chung

Chung: D.O., he’s been promoting a lot as an actor with the name Do Kyungsoo, right? I heard that SM doesn’t send people to his interviews often, because he does so well by himself. Apparently he’s like this when he talks [rubbing leg and speaking softly], to the point that it makes you wonder why he's so nervous.

Kim: Also (laughs), female film reporters really like Do Kyungsoo. A reporter can publicize things, so one of my team members went to Hyung’s premiere as one to promote Jo Jungseok. She’d been a fan of him, but she ended up falling for Do Kyungsoo (laughs).

- Kim & Chung Studio [2016.12.29]

Unnamed Film Director (who has never worked with Kyungsoo before)

A film director went to OP’s school to give a lecture and OP asked him what he thought about actdols? Film director mentioned that most of them don't really like actdols? The only recognised actdol is Do Kyungsoo. OP asked what’s Do Kyungsoo like? Film director say he’s very kind and polite, exactly the way we imagine him to be. (Film director also mentioned Im Siwan and T.O.P)

- Fan Account (@baekthelove_) [2017.08.08]

Professional Photographer

“I was at a lecture by a professional photographer and got surprised when I saw Kyungsoo among the idols they had worked with previously. The phoitographer said of those idols, Kyungsoo had the most noteworthy character. At one point on the job, they mentioned wanting to eat Seollein (a portable shake). Kyungsoo actually said he would go pick some up and the photographer had to stop him. 

That was usually the work of the staff and it was the first time the photographer ever had a celebrity offer to personally pick something up for them TTT It happened around the time Kyungsoo started acting? It was for taking a profile picture, but they remember it because he had such a good personality.. Kyungsoo is full of moving anecdotes T”

- Fan Account (@soleil_SH412) [2017.08.12]

Compilation Cr: weibo @都暻秀网络特工组 (for accounts before 2016.04.29) Chi Trans (weibo): weibo @都暻秀吧_DohkyungsooBar, @Only都暻秀_嘟骑吧,  @ValentinesDay, @dada_onlyDO, @你在大街上动没动过心 & @Nacho_都暻秀资源博, twitter @CaramelDO, @hana_korean Eng Trans: twitter @enthralleddd, @fydk-translations

[writingcommons-blog1]

“Racism is Still Alive in 2017″ by Alex E.

I went to a different high school than most, it was a private boarding school. I went there when I was 13, and I became best friends with my two roommates. Dan and Dusty were both a year ahead of me, but they accepted me as soon as we met. I was a shy kid, I didn’t talk much, especially to people I had never met, but they quickly pulled me out of my shell. We did everything together, watched tv, played Dungeons and Dragons, we were all on the soccer team (although I was the only one that was any good), and met each other’s families.

I have many fond memories of us staying up way too late arguing over how a Beholder can use a fireball spell when they can’t even use a torch spell in the Cave of Unending Darkness. 

By the way Dan, it’s been ten years, and you’re still wrong.

Now Dan was never afraid to voice his opinion. He liked to debate, and was actually quite good at it. But he did have some “quirks” at the time that we all thought were weird, but attributed it to his personality. See, Dan was originally from South Carolina. And he had what he liked to call “Southern Pride”. He liked to whistle and sing the confederate anthem “I wish I was in Dixie”, instead of “cowboys and Indian’s” he played “Confederates and the Union”, and he dressed up as a Confederate soldier and had Confederate flags everywhere.

Each of these things on their own are fine, weird to a degree, but when you combine all of this, you start to see a pattern. Now Dan and I lost contact after high school, I moved back home for a while, he decided to stay in St. Louis, which is where the boarding school was. We saw each other once after high school, but that was it. We were friends on Facebook too, until about a month ago when I found out who Dan really was.

I was on Facebook, and reading through my news feed when I saw an update from Dan. I saw him almost a year ago, I went back for a funeral and we went out the night before and had some beers. I met his son and girlfriend, his son is 6 now and when I met him, he had to show me his comic book collection in his room. He’s 6. What kid reads comic books in this day and age? And his girlfriend was the nicest person in the world. She seemed good for him, and just as importantly, Dan seemed happy. So when I read Dan’s update, I was taken aback. Who was this person that was spewing out this hateful vitriol? He typed that the majority of violent crimes are being perpetrated by the minority of African-Americans, and that white people should segregate themselves away from other races, and that will solve all of our problems. As I read through the comments, I was shocked to see other people agreeing with him. Others were defending Trump, and heralding him as the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I pushed back, finding articles that dissected the term "Alt-Right" and linking quotes from them. I asked for a simple explanation, respectfully wanting to at least try to understand or empathize with their thought process, and was met with anger and hostility by complete strangers. I was called "Reverse Uncle Tom" and a "N-word Lover" for having the gall to ask a question.

Dan attempted to defend me. He said that I was uninformed and linked a page to www.stormfront.org (which is a white supremacist website) that argued how African-American's were hurting our country for the crime of existing. I couldn’t believe it. Who was this person? This was not my friend that I grew up with, this was not the same person that I spent weekends playing Dungeons and Dragons in his parent’s basement.

I gave up. I resigned myself to the fact that Dan wasn't going to change. He had surrounded himself with like-minded, hateful people that were hell bent on pushing their racist agenda, and my voice of dissent was never going to be enough to get them to change their mind. I posted one last comment, saying that I felt sorry for him. We were friends for a long time, but I couldn't be his friend if this was how he felt. I attempted one last time to sway his opinion, I asked why he was friends with Ray, who was black, a mutual friend of ours from high school. They played basketball together. More importantly, they were friends on Facebook. I asked Dan how do you think Ray would feel if he knew that Dan wanted him and his entire family gone because of the color of his skin.

Dan responded by deleting the entire thread and blocking me from Facebook. At first, I was angry. 13 years of friendship thrown away, and for what? To impress your other racist friends? I imagine I went through something similar to the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I’ve realized that Dan is his own person and can make his own decisions and I’ve made mine. My decision is to create awareness that racism is still very much alive, and our current president is inciting it.