yyyuyuyu

[kisaraslover]

How do you like to imagine the Millennium Arc would have go down has Takahashi not been been too sick to give Priest Seto and Kisara the story that they deserved? T.T

see, reason im not a writer but an artist is that i SUCK at writing probably. best i can do is analyze and ask the story reinforce its pressure points? like for Seto and Set as the reincarnating single soul the story has these recurring beats that act as bridges for his arc,

Brief happy childhood interrupted by tragedy

Followed by prodigal formative years rise to power UNDER an oppressive father figure

The years above resulting in The Iconic Seto Kaiba Personality, power obsessed, proud, self righteous, unbendable will, complete commitment to his status, cold, cruel, crass, uncaring, except for affection for exclusive people.

Death of the father figure

Set(o) in now unquestionable power position, Set having become a sad but fair ruler, Seto having been placed into the plot of DM for further tests of fates

Kisara is placed in the middle of this fated story in ancient Egypt, supposedly forever changing the fabric of his being by the very tangible and very powerful and FELT effect of her undying loyalty and submission always backing him up. with her established points of;

a life of oppression and exclusion because of something as inherent and simple as her looks (truly a test to the cruelty of mortals) (neatly drawing a line between her and Others, making her out to be otherworldly)

followed by her, presumably multiple times, losing control of her Ka and punishing said mortals when she herself is in mortal danger, to unknown extent, always outside her control or will, contrasting her from Set(o) who bends, if nothing else, his own self to his will relentlessly, Kisara is outside of her own control,

which would be followed by her confusion, guilt, anger, grief, regret, self-hate, unknown feelings around her Ka

the exception to how world treats her being Priest Set, even if with wrong intentions in the beginning, which in return catches her interest and takes away her breath

them being Forced by outside forces into a single unit, oppressive conditions taking the Priest right from where he stands, opposite of her, and placing him cleanly in front of her, protectively.

then, as the concluding beat for them both, now forever changed and linked by their connection, Kisara's uncontrollable power is placed under his control, and his unbendable, ruthless and cruel force of will, bends for her, established by the final "All I wanted was your light" not your power, not your death, you by my side, having been changed

We can more clearly see the picture. So far everything ive said is inferred from canon, but like ALL of it could stand to be reinforced by a writer that Cares about what happens to Kaiba or Kisara in the story. What could stand to be said again better, THE MOST would be their love connection, the last two points. As you see, im already plenty happy with the exposition of both characters it gives us believable grounds for "and in the end, hes forever the master of the power of a woman who he'd rather have by his side no power and its his single saving grace and its what she would choose to do in every life" the characters can believably fall into this conclusion.

the problem is HOW they fall into that. it was HURRIED. Kisara's dramatic personality and Set's dramatic personality, seen by the other, appreciated, FORCED into allyship and the growing affection of both sides. the plot could have been slowed down, if by nothing else then prolonging her prisoner status, giving them some alone time. things i would like explored like:

her thankfulness and his interest in her Ka morphing into genuine care. We needed to see his compassion and her loyalty grow. Could have so many moments....

theyre ALWAYS going to end in tragedy IN THAT LIFE so why not commit fully. he feels resentment his mother died the day he saved her. that same day is the shining most beautiful moment in kisaras life where a complete stranger showed her compassion. finding this out breaks his heart.

if she and him are, at the time of the story, two people whose fates are crossing or were they ALWAYS meant and created for each other: to explain, im curious if BEWD, whose power rivals gods, did have godly roots before becoming a Strictly worldly being made of 2 working parts, the mortal vessel and the Ka. Set and Seto both have blue eyes. doesnt seem like the work of a Ka.

is it sadder if they kiss or is it sadder if they dont. idk but im voting kiss

the themes of control and will and dominance and submission. HEAR ME OUT OK Kisara, let alone her life, even her own self and body is outside of her control, things outside of her control like her coloring make everyone elses reactions to her out of her control, spiralling and living a lost life, wandering and walking into the one man who is obsessively, relentlessly a Problem to fate itself by sheer force of will, who's single moment of gentleness towards her rewards both of them with her favor, therefore the dragons favor, therefore relative control of it for the first time, should have been shown and spelled out. she surrenders to him with such trust, which inspires good in him in return. its a breath of relief to both, her power out of her hands, finally listening to someone and him being gifted SUCH a loyalty from a woman, SUCH absolute surrender......jesus im getting lightheaded..

so in general as you can see 1-im not good at making up my own plot points and 2-the point of contention isnt how ancient mizushipping is handled, while it needed more time to cook, im p good at squeezing out of canon MANY interesting threads and implications, so the way its hurried is ultimately forgivable to me.

my problem is modern world writing around Seto, BEWD, Kisara. i think the writing was generally wack all around and especially callous to Kaiba, therefore resulting in inconsistent Kisara, basically erased for other than moments establishing his obsession w power and feeding his narcissistic characteristics which is so sad to me, as Kisara represents HIS melting and HIS softening and HIS light. the entire canon makes BEWD just his ally outside of some minor moments, which dont have lasting consequences.

and this ⬆ is all about Staying In Canon and how It Could Be Improved, with answers to Fuck Canon How To Make It Better? being infinite and very interesting.

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

On Transformers and Human soulmate tropes...

(i do personally attack starscream at the end, i'm sorry starscream lovers, i love him too, but he's just a sad, devious little guy.)

Just a little thought here, so, I love soulmate tropes. Depending on the plot, they can be really fun and take so many interesting paths as a medium used within storytelling, whether romantic or platonic.

But what i want to talk about specifically is Transformer x Human soulmate tropes. Like, you have this super sweet side to it where the bot can be like 'I have waited my entire life to find you, finally, I can hold you in my arms and we never have to part again'. Depending on the character/story/type of SM (soulmate, shortening it because I'm not gonna keep writing it out) trope of course.

Can I just say how...instrumentally fucked this is though? So you have this race of robots who live for, what is essentially millennia out in the wild unless they catch the smoke. Their soulmate ends up being this little creature that lives for 80, maybe 100 years tops before dying. -Unless we're going for some kind of mind switch body type thing, but we all know how that went with spike in g1.

Our beloved robo blorbos will eventually have to cope with the fact that their soulmate, the person or creature they're MEANT to be with via laws of the universe, will die a LOT sooner than they will.

This especially hits hard with the decepticons who, depending on continuity -- hate humanity already. Bots who've gone through so much, losing their home, friends, and their dignities; have to learn to put up with and accept this creature as their fated mate/spouse/conjux endura, whatever you want to call it- SOULMATE.

Then the decepticons just have to deal with the fact that they're going to lose this person too, just like they've already lost everything else and oh GOD. Maybe they choose to forget about them and move on, stay alone and mourn what could have been if the universe hadn't had such a fucked sense of humor. Maybe they choose to accept it, but never let their SM too close because they know they'll just be hurt so much more hurt when the inevitable comes.

Then you have to think about decepticons having to possibly protect their SM from other cons! From being taken and 'saved' by the autobots.

Imagine some bots or cons just flying off the handle, going crazy just to try and keep their human alive in any way they possibly can, afraid of running out of time.

(Starscream lovers forgive me for the angst)

And Starscream especially, Maybe he'd try. He'd have a great time, take a chance, and give it a go. But what if he's actually terrified? Maybe he'd also self sabotage a little, knowing the relationship will never last too long anyways; not in the short blink of time it would be next to his life. Maybe, he doesn't actually know what to do with himself in a positive relationship after being, i dunno, consistently dogged on by megatron and he freezes.

There's something actually good for him, and since he isn't sure how to receive or accept that fact, he's gone. And maybe he'll come back, but the cycle could repeat.

(Im sorry, unless you put a tracker on him and call his ass and really give him some therapy. get him some god damn therapy.)

But yeah. All around, the angst potential is immense for this stuff and it makes me sad to think about so I thought i would share it instead of just write about it in an actual fic because my character analysis and ability to comprehend my own thoughts is so shit.

Okay, CIAOOOOOO~

[danrifics]

you all pestered me for it and here it is. the closeness analysis/ theory.

now if you didn't see I basically had this theory that the closer to BIG and COTY we get in the DAPG timeline the closer dan and phil sit to each other. Dan made a comment about how them playing Heartthrob being like a gay soft launch and that got me thinking of some other ways they could have done it and one of those being the idea that as time goes on you get less and less strict and worrisome about what others think of you and so they end up gravitating closer and closer.

This post will be under a see more cos its probably gonna be long af.

I will be splitting it into stages.

2014 -15

2016 - 17

2018

revival

sorry the screenshots arent clickable to make bigger tumblr only allows for 30 on a post so i had to group them together!

(i will not be covering horror games apart from in the revival stage and i will also not be talking much about gamingmas 2023)

2014 - 15

now when i initially went to collect my evidence, i was suddenly worried maybe i kinda had things wrong because i feel like in Donkey Kong Country (the first dapg video, see screenshot below) they're sat pretty close but honestly when we get to how they sit a lot later on you'll see that this is actually pretty far apart

now here are some screenshots for the inital look at at the end of them we'll talk (this will be the layout for most of this post i think)

now of course this is only a selection of those year's videos if i screenshotted them all i fear this post would never end. now these first 2 years are a good mix of at desk videos on sofa videos. i noticed from some other videos not show here that in sofa videos they rend to sit a lot closer to each other than they do at the desk, this is kinda funny to me cos really they definitely have room for a wider frame on the couch if they wanted to sit like normal people.

2016 - 17

2016 and the start of 2017 feel like a mixed bag of how close together they are but i did notice that the more into 2017 we got the more they seemed to be shoulder to shoulder! these also started to wean out sofa sitting games (not 100% gone yet but almost). now if you're wondering why i've kept this screenshot apart its cos this is the last one in the first london apartment.

and honestly from here on out is where i believe the "soft launching" begins!

so lets finish 2017 and see if im right!

just had to single out this screenshot for a sec:

in case anyone wondered that is the face dan made during dream daddy when phil reads "we were roommates for a while too"

softlaunch?

anyway moving on

watching these videos definitely feels like something changed btw, while they still arent as close as we'll start seeing them sit, i definitely noticed more often they were shoulder to shoulder. but like a new room has definitely changed the vibe a little bit between them, and now we can move on to the next and final year of pre hiatus dapg, where things as you will see immediately start to change.

2018

like i said... immediately we are met with this, i would also like to let everyone know that 2018 is my favourite era of pre hiatus dapg

lets see what the rest of this year will bring

now i'm splitting 2018 up into parts because i need to do a whole talk about the tour situations so for now lets look at the above screenshots, now its very obvious that they are sitting so much closer to each other which i think is really funny considering how big that room is and often in this section of videos there is a lot of room either side of them so they literally do not need to be that close.

now lets talk about the tour bus. this is how close they're sitting

thats for sure a 1 person seat yet they've both forced themselves on even tho the sofa literally behind them would have been perfectly fine to sit on, and they cant give me "this is the only place to set up the camera" babe its really not theres a whole surface behind you.

okay thank you for listening to this, moving on to the final part of 2018!

(the last 2 screenshots are out of order oops)

idk about you but yeah i think they are definetly a lot closer than they were way back in 2014. i really dont have a lot to say other than that, and i have definetly proven my theory so now we've established that lets have a brief look at post hiatus dapg!

Revival

Now this is gonna be really brief its just a summary of where we are post BIG/COTY and post hiatus (things my brain still cant quite believe is real)

now here are the revival moments i wanna give a mention!

firstly sims season ep 3 when dan moves his chair away from phil and their wheels are literally locked together, pushing phil's chair too

heres dan looking into the monitor and then moving closer to phil <3

and finally

hand hold

thanks for reading all this and sorry if it didnt live up to the hype lmao

[smilingcrittersuniversityau]

The thing is, Elias's and Charlie's relationship could have worked out. They both went thru a traumatic experience which both were able to relate to one and other and Charlie gave what Elias really needed. A friend he could rely on. But unfortunately, Elias ended up becoming basically the thing he hated his parents for. He became an abusive partner. It's the abused one becomes an abuser. He became nothing more but a spiteful and an angry man who basically then tried to control Charlie, who he hangs out with, who he can rely on, what he can and cannot do and so on. Definition of a possessive and controlling partner. Whether or not you choose to agree or disagree, and whether or not you hate the guy. Elias can be classified as a tragic character who due to his upbringing and trauma became a horrible person. Even if he still loves or cares for Charlie, he is going way too far and now went ahead and assaulted Charlie (pretty sure kissing someone without their consent and or them not liking it can count as an assault on someone) and now is gonna go ahead and try to murder someone (Dakota or possibly Charlie's other friends). Kind of am mixed on whether I should call him a psychopath or a sociopath. Ya'll be the judge of that. Either way, Elias should be held responsible and face the consequences of his actions. Whether Charlie chooses to forgive him is up to him, but given what we have seen Elias do and will do in the future, there is a high chance Charlie never forgives him at all. It's hard for a victim to forgive someone who had abused them and hurt them in many ways. Overall, Elias is a tragic character who could have been a good partner to Charlie, but due to his past, he strayed down the path of being a horrible person and hurting the one he loved, or more rather hurting the one he was so unhealthy obsessed with so much. (Ya'll can also debate whether he had genuine feelings on Charlie or nah).

This was honestly just a big ass analysis on Elias and also I guess his relationship with Charlie because god-

(THEY RESENT IT! JOYOUS TIMES!!!!)

(IM SO SORRY I DELETED IT I AM SO SORRYYYY)

Also despite all of how he did genuinely care about Charlie, he still did hurt him. Isolated him from his friends, called him names, lovebombed him so he'd forgive him, always trash talked his friends. Cracks was a small breaking point for Charlie where he kinda sees the red flags in Elias. He finally snaps after he sees how Elias treats Dakota, who's been nothing but helpful to Charlie. He doesn't really understand that Dakota likes him, and hence he feels like Elias is just pushing it too far when he assumed he was helping him just cause he liked him (even if he didn't, he still would cause he does care about his friends)

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3

[wildflowerdoeeyed]

𝑀𝑜𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒪’𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒶

(the character overlook)

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

these are all my opinions, totally open to the conversation about molly’s character also totally fine with people fact checking me, anyways i’m starting to fw o’shones

in the words of @krayzie-jelli the autism is autisming (don’t cancel me i have referrals to get tested 😔😔)

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

small credit;

the red dead fan wiki

@/reaperqween on tik tok (for the almost ten minute tik tok about mollys outfits which i ate up)

^ her tumblr is @river-of-wine send some love yall want 💕

colour analysis & general observations

🪞💋🍓🌹🍰

colour theory is heavily used based on honor, the best example of this is dutch, he consistently wearing red, mostly on his back until guarma when the red is on the front, when dutch’s true intentions become more apparent, anyways onto molly.

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

COLTER

(i went quite quick through colter so im actually unsure how she is with dutch, but from what i remember she doted on him a whole ton, constantly staying at his side and at one point saying “dutch is all the company i need”)

💋though a lot of people relate the red in different characters with low honor i think the fabric, the pattern itself points back to her privileged past

💋the necks scarf being green, i feel like it doesn’t imply much at this point but as the game continues it implies way more

💋the rest of the outfit being blue means a lot to me, there’s never anytime molly oversteps or is aggressive to anyone (obviously except from the obvious with karen, i’ll go back to this later)

💋i’d like to note that she’s still doing her makeup freezing and starving in the mountains

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

HORSESHOE OUTLOOK & CLEMENTS POINT

(i honestly will end up mixing these up so i grouped them together)

(tbh my honest opinion is horseshoe is one of the best chapters based on the relationships in camp (tho sadie’s still going through it, you can’t have everything))

💋her first outfit has a good amount of blue in this outfit, her necklace has its first appearance with the red (i always got the vibe that dutch had gifted it to her as it’s more shiny than a lot of the metal in her outfits and it’s like a part of him)

💋she wears a thick belt with this outfit and the brass (?) seems worn, even coming from a wealthy background she holds onto clothes that look old and worn

💋she always wears white boots, she’s doesn’t have to do any work, and she’s not expected to do anything

💋the majority of the mornings in game, molly is constantly checking herself in a mirror

💋i’m going to be honest i hate this shirt

💋but i’d like to think this shawl has always been with her and that she holds it close to her

💋her outfit is quite shapeless, and i think that’s how she liked to dress personally

💋i would love to talk about this outfit

💋does this eat? yes, but i don’t think this was a honest choice for her

💋this outfit mirror mary-beth’s a lot, who seems to be dutch’s new interest

sorry for the bad quality i used my own screenshot for this

💋this outfit particularly ^

💋there’s now a lot of cleavage in her outfit and she’s dressing more akin to other girls in the camp

💋and the gold in her outfits bright, and with mirroring marybeth, I also think this mirrors dutch’s style, with more red and gold incorporated

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋her relationship with dutch is starting to crumble, i heard a voice line where she says that she loves him and he thanks her (?!) you wouldn’t see me again personally

💋but to contrast that there’s some scenes were dutch kisses her hands and they’re all giddy and cuddly, and they eventually dance when sean’s rescued from blackwater

💋she’s also not well received by a lot of the gang, we get the first glimpse of that when you take mary-beth, tilly and karen to valentiene and karen says that molly’s “too high and mighty” to come with them

💋she attempts a to interact with numerous members

💋she also attempts to talk to tilly, tilly quickly brushes her off as she’s working and molly isn’t attempting to help her

💋i also saw an encounter with dutch and molly where, he approaches, and honestly he could be covered in shit and molly would still look up to him like he’s a messiah. dutch says “should i compare thee to…” he quickly cuts himself off asking her what he should compare her with, even asking arthur if you pass by (he actually says that dutch could compare her to an idiot if she actually believes dutch cares about her)

💋 throughout clements point, dutch talks down to molly as if she’s a child and then will quickly back himself up by calling her dear (to which if arthur intervenes when she goes off at him, dutch says she’s just leaving and she’s stomps away)

💋when she approaches abigail about the subject of dutch, abigail tells her “dutch don’t love you, not in the way you want to be loved”, molly gets defensive saying that she doesn’t get what she’s talking about, to which abigail says she does (implying drunk john?) and molly stomps away

💋i think this is the first time molly actually goes a bit crazy about dutch, she calls him a degenerate liar and stomps off when dutch wont argue back and (i think) goes to sleep, he at least turns away from her

💋i think people who discredit mollys character (men) don’t realise that her and dutch’s relationship show early signs about how manipulative dutch can be, he dumbs down what she says then calls her dear, eventually he only calls her miss o’shea, which she obviously goes off at him for

💋adding onto this i’d love to talk about her character item request of a pocket mirror and her asking arthur if bad lucks a thing, i feel like this is meant to reflect how young she actually is, like how kieran still referred to his parents as ma and pa, and that she genuinely seems nervous asking arthur for a mirror and the superstition of a broken mirror giving bad luck (which i guess you could say she had

💋and i feel like her vanity that the gang and from an outsiders perspective that she’s self absorbed but i think she’s more conscious about how she looks, she doesn’t have to lift a finger and not having much to do around camp because everyone distances themselves from her (i’ll obviously elaborate more when i get to writing about shady bell) i think she’s left alone with a mirror, which i feel is more implied that she’s had for a long time, i’d say since childhood, you become more conscious the more you look at yourself and if your man seemed to be going for someone younger than you, you’d loose it too

(tl:dr - molly doesn’t deserve any hate, the girls that get it, get it, men don’t, im so ready to talk about chapter 4&6)

The poem

-

Uaibhreach

(the irish gaelic word which means “being proud and arrogant to the extent that it alienates & isolates you from those around you, leading to loneliness)

I was a girl - until your call

(i’m not going to annotate this everytime but the religion of this actually makes me feel like my hearts being ripped out)

Commanded me to cross the sea.

(she was driven out of ireland looking for freedom and adventure and she was enthralled by dutch’s charm, to be honest i always saw her “privileged upbringing” being her family owning a big farm, or in a big industry, a lot of irish people immigrated to canada after the potato famine, then crossed to america)

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

(i think she means this in, like, every sense)

My darling Liffey was so small.

Your land and love are vast and free.

(‘MERICA)

I was a girl until your call.

You stood so strong, and dark and tall.

You stole the heartbeat out of me.

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

Your lips enchant, your eyes enthrall,

Your empire is of ecstasy.

I was a girl until your call.

Your parasites and lackeys crawl,

(now do i think this is the gang or her fault that they don’t like her, i think its a mutual thing, they see her as a spoiled woman and she doesn’t help that opinion but i think she’s a young woman manipulated by an older guy, and that she thinks they’re all just jealous (which im sure she even says a few times)

Mocking a love they dare not see.

(going back to when she try’s to seek abigail’s help, or when she confronts karen later on and that she can’t see that he’s really not interested in her)

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

I sit in solitude and scrawl

These wretched words, and wait for thee.

I was a girl until your call.

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi Shaz! Im feeling so down today, i had been stressed out for the whole week as I have 2 audits and 2 assessment for this month, I dis not pass one of my assessment today. Pls give me some Jikook content to lift my spirit up 😘 I know reading ur blogs will make me feel good, that’s why I run here after hahahah

I got u my lovely. There is never shortage of Jikook content! I didn't do it when u asked me but better late than never, no?

To start us off, how soft is this image?

No seriously, how soft is that?

(Which reminds me, @youaremy-parkfilter I haven't 4go10 your ask. I just haven't had time to rewatch the episode but I will, I promise)

It's a subconscious act too, that's what I love about it. Their size difference though! Gets me everytime

I love them sm 😩😩😩😩😫😫😫😫

Okay, okay. Let's get it together. Too fluffy..too much fluff. I know just the thing to get me back on track. 😏 see this photo of JK where he looks like a professional wrecker?

No, but he really do be looking like he does indeed wreck Jimin seven days a week 🥵 Anyway, remember how he adjusts the Jungkonda during this clip? Isn't it funny who he's talking about while he does that? 🤭🤭🤭

😂🤣😂 Look, this isn't what you would call a typical Jikook moment. It's just one of those things someone with a brain like mine would notice, alright? It's JK adjusting himself, of course I noticed. But it was JK adjusting himself while talking about Jimin. 🤭🤭🤭

Moving onnnnnnn.... what do you reckon Jikook have been saying to eo all these years?

And why do they have to be that close? Its that lack of personal space thing they've always had going on 🤭

Anyway, let's do a tiny analysis because we can. I was watching this because it doesn't matter how long you've been around there is always BTS content to catch up on, and I noticed something that really tickled me.

So Jimin was asked to pretend he's preventing his gf from breaking up with him. V wanted to pretend to be the gf but JK quickly beats him to it.

He stands up incredibly fast and stops infront of Jimin 😂😂 JK did not want another member to play this role. He really wanted to be Jimin's pretend girlfriend 🤭🤭🤭

The best part though, is when Jimin still names his girlfriend Jeon Jungkook. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm sorry but that was too funny to me. Jimin and his girlfriend Jungkook 🤭🤭 Not RM finding it cringy 😂😂😂 RM's reactions never fail y'all.

Then, Jimin was asked to pick an actress he would love to work with.

And so he did.

Then an outraged JK was like, what about me???

Umm... okay? You're not even on the list bro, maybe chill? 🤭😂

It's the little things guys. It's the little things. And of course satellite Jikook are sitting next to eo. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Next I'm gonna share this extremely soft Jikook moment. Like, he didn't even hurt him. That punch was so soft and yet here Jimin is just hugging on JK and apologising for the clearly painless punch. But its the tight hug at the end for me 🥺

Alrighty! Back to another BV analysis. So remember when they went to that tourist place with all the dinosaur carcasses and Jimin was soooooooo excited? As soon as he spotted it he told us about how he loves dinosaurs

He couldn't wait to get off the ATV and ran towards it.

And there he goes telling RM all about it. Super super excited he is.

As soon as he was given the go ahead he got inside one of them.

Now, JK could you please tell us your favourite animal just one more time?

Thank you JK ☺☺☺

Out of the million things Jikook have in common, quickly add dinosaurs to the list if you haven't. 🥰🥰

While we are on BV there is this one moment that I didn't understand. Like Jimin was just there... he wasn't even talking it was RM and someone else talking. But JK was just.... staring at Mimi

Like for no reason. And as soon as Jimin turned back to his food JK quickly looks away.

This JK habit absolutely fascinates me. Like fr fr. What is it? What goes on? Like Mr. Jeon can you speak your thoughts outloud? That's your man, you've known him for years, why do you look at him like you've never seen him before? It's just... I don't understand... but I know it ain't normal. Like, friends don't just stare at their other friends for no reason.

Okay so I just thought this was cute

And this will always be very eyebrow raising for me. Why u blushing for your bandmate Jimin?

And why does JK always look so cocky when that happens? 🤔 Guess we'll never know 🤷🏽‍♀️

Satellite Jeon my favourite! Look at him be subtle!

Oh what's that? V showing Jimin his phone?

Oops, JK must know what Jimin is looking at. On time, like clockwork. Peekaboo!

This one i clicked on by accident but I'm not mad at it. For me, It's how deep Jimin's fingers are digging into an erogenous part of JK's body 😏

Sorry I'm late my dear. But hope this post finds you well 💚💚💚

In conclusion:

[tossball-stick]

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 

he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

[zorosnavigator]

So here's the promised part 2 of the Zonami fics rec!!

Part 1 can be found here

(i havent got the time to read or do much on this blog and post the rec with all college stuff last week and the beginning of class, sorry !!)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10264637/1/The-Bounty

Already recommended it in the 1st rec (author dreamsinword ) but i still put it again here because i'm in love with her writing, and frankly the experience not only made me smile like in the manga, (Zoro and Nami dynamics, (besides the obvious romantic tones) and the rest of the crew are on point! ) but it nails the characterization of everyone, and with OCs that you feel could belong in Oda's world!!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37865146

(warnings: if ABO genre is not to your liking then dont read this one!)

So i only went through 1 chapter,( it has 11 chapters up) but so far (which is, not very far, but bear with me 😅) it doesnt seem to fall into the cliche of the'strong omega who doesnt like alpha but in the end falls under the alpha's charm anyway because uuh uh, sexy and smells goood!!!!- a trope that i personally hate because of consent issues... (no flames if you love it though 🙃)

it describes the strawhats crew with a dialogue that seems pretty thoughful (of what the scenario want to do and tell us) and not just in a way it only copies the anime (luffy screamed: i'm hungry!! Nami said: Baka!/ Robin was reading in a chair and Franky was building something that i found often in fic). (also i love any Abo writers who dont focus totally on smut, smells, dominance, and physical side of the genre and rather works on the system, the world and how the implications of the second sex impact the psychology and story as a whole! ) that said, the story seems promising!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48206047

@cutieininferno on tumblr!!!!

fic where you feels the very obvious attraction between them (but without the too much cringy emotionally stuff like 'he had nice abs, sexy and she was love with him! so strong!) but it still make room for the plot and you want to know what happens next!! (also bonus point for including the witch nickname in the actual plot, love it!! ) all in all, go read it what can i say more beside im sad there isnt more kudos???!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22678642

Good plot. Nami centric (and her origins), friends - to lovers, i enjoyed that one too!

One shots, short fics

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/776756/Rasetsu

Sweets little drabbles,

angstier than the previous one (and can be read as friendship)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2430733/1/Because

oh boy this one is a little messy but it hurts in the best way (also mention of implicit sex) love the 'mature' take on them!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6358367/1/Small-Steps

more friendship, and analysis of Nami from Zoro pov

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6375303/1/Moments-Like-These

how to write perfect Zonami in 642 words. No comments.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49450201

ANgst angst angst, implied sex, sort of...friends with benefit, (still happy ending) again, from Zoro pov!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8336653

They made out in the storage room. this is uditory torture for the rest of the crew. I laughed during this one!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330107

again, a make out, a drunken kiss and a stupid competition. Love it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128823

Drabbles so sweet i have to brush my teeth.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8336968

One shot abt Zoro first time - do you know how much i like this headcanon???? no? now you know. Virgin Zoro with accidental rizz is awesome!! (Luffy is always this element in the fic who made me crack up!!!)

[starzfandomblog]

Rody Lamoree Character Analysis (At least I think.)

I'm really bad at doing analysis of characters + this is my first time doing one so here I go!!1 Note that quotes from the game are paraphrased bc I can't remember anything ------------------------------- Rody is shown to be a bright, but brash man. (Described as "brash" in the newspaper review about the bistro.) Rody is also described as "exhausting" by Vince. (During the climax.) Overall, Rody could be described as exhausting, bright, forgetful, messy, and an optimist. Looking closer, RODY IS JUST SOME SAD SILLY AND HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER. But all jokes aside, Rody seems to be going through a lot during the events of the game, despite how "happy" he may act/be. At the end of his first shift when he returned home, we see his apartment, and it's a mess. It looks like he hasn't cleaned it and days/has the motivation and/or time. When you enter the hallway, Rody exclaims, "The bathrooms flooded... again!" When you interact with the dirty dishes in the sink, he says, "I'll get to that. Someday. Eventually." Literally almost everything you interact with is messy. He doesn't exactly have a proper apartment either. I'm pretty sure having no motivation to do things you NEED to do/used to enjoy is a sign of depression. (I could be like entirely wrong on this point.) Also while watching many gameplays, (cough I've only watched two) I've picked up that Rody is a people pleaser. When Vince asks his favorite food, he says, "I eat whatever my girlfriends into." When Vince asks why he needs so much money, Rody needs it because he wants to buy a gift from Manon. He's basically devoting his life to her, he's so in love with her he can't see how terrible-ish of a girlfriend she is. ("WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!? SHES AMAZ-" SHH I'LL EXPLAIN ON A LATER POST.) Imagine the pain in his voice when he found out Vince killed her. The desperation in his voice just to hear Manon's voice on the phone. He doesn't realize how much he's hurting himself, he's oblivious. Also what I found interesting is that the creator has stated he's "bi and bi-phobic at the same time." I'm prolly thinking about this way too deep, but maybe Rody's just like, in denial, for Manon. Moving on, there's various reason as to why people will become people pleasers. It could be trauma, stress, childhood experiences, etc. I imagine Rody being from the poorer side of France, as he grew up in a somewhat loving family. His parents pressured him to be good in school, and although Rody KNEW his parents had good intentions, but he couldn't help it. Despite this he just brushed it off, and continued to please everyone, although this isn't exactly possible. Basically burnt out gifted kid. (ok i just realized that went on to be a hc thing SO LETS MOVE ON TO THE MORE LIKELY ANSWERS) In the ending where Rody burns down the bistro (I forgot the ending name) Rody seems so desperate for Manon not to leave him. But she just kind of did anyway. He could have become a people pleaser because of his (maybe) deep fear of rejection. He made Manon his whole word, and it fell apart when she left him. Also, I feel like Rody's prone to comparing himself to others, especially after the interaction with his former classmate at the dinner party. Seeing how well his classmate was doing, the feeling that he wasn't doing as great just stung. Overall, Rody Lamoree tries his best to be happy, but he NEEDS to take care of himself more, maybe insecure, and realize he can never please anyone. ---------------------------- im sorry this was so random uh

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I don’t remember if I or anyone else has given this song yet… but Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives is so Alex

I love this song, but i usually relate it to Desert Duo (from third life and double life, idk if you know what that is but it's a cool minecraft series and its amazing so you should lol) so I'd never even thought about it in the context of Sorry, It's Locked.

But oh my god?

You're so right?

It's so Alex?

Anyway, uh, Too long and very armature analysis incoming. As usual lol. I have far too many thoughts, as always, about my babies, and I've been writing sorry its locked Jam for the last couple days so I need to remind myself of the dumpster fire of a relationship the fic started with :D (I'm kidding, i love Jaylex in this fic and wish I hadn't done them so dirty, they could have been amazing. but also i love angst)

This whole song feel's like Alex kinda, like, reminiscing over his and Jay's relationship? Or, like, how it ended, but like, reminiscing in the moment? Do you know what I mean? Or is reminiscing over something while it's still happening just a me thing lol. Anyway, super long thing incoming (I'm so sorry, it's so long. This song has me in a chokehold).

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel It's all that I can give to you, my dear And when you come in quick to steal a kiss My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

As far as Alex is concerned, his relationship with Jay didn't start out bad. Back in college, when they started their fwb situation it was pretty healthy (though that did go downhill relatively quickly) It started out fine, but tension grew as soon as Alex realized that Jay actually liked him and that he couldn't bring himself to like Jay back, or to allow himself to like Jay back. That started the friction between them, but they kept fucking because it was fun, they both enjoyed themselves, and Jay didn't call it off yet. Alex definitely liked Jay, but he didn't necessarily know he liked Jay back. And didn't know how to express it, so he just didn't.

Then obviously the stuff with the Operator started, and that changed Alex's personality a lot, making him irritable and unpleasant to be around, even for the people he'd been friends with the longest. His mouth grew sharp and cruel, but he didn't break off his thing with Jay because it was the one place where he actually felt in control of his life. Jay did what Alex told him to, and Alex didn't have to wrestle with himself to not be unkind to him, because that was what Jay wanted (as far as he'd made Alex aware, that was what he wanted out of their dynamic)

If Jay tried to initiate anything softer, or more romantic with Alex back in college (or even just mentioned it, sometimes) Alex would shut him down. His teeth cut Jay's lips when Jay went in to steal a kiss, because Alex couldn't let himself get attached, and if he let Jay kiss him without it being used as something to spur them on to acts where Alex was definitively in control, he wouldn't be able to cope with it.

(jesus this is already so long. im so sorry if you decide to read all of this dude)

And I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

Jay trying to help Alex after they meet up again is pretty much the last thing Alex actually wants. He asked Jay for help to find Amy while his thoughts were being edited and glitched out by the Operator, so when he first got in contact with Jay again, he did it so he could try and kill Jay. Then he regained his senses a little and realized that the absolute worst thing Jay could do was stick around. Like, obviously Jay meant well in trying to help Alex, but Alex hadn't meant well when he'd asked for help.

Jay wants to help, and he want's to rebuild the friendship he once had with Alex. He wants to help find Amy, despite Alex leaving him for her. He wants to help figure out what happened to Alex back in college. He wants to help figure out how to save Alex from what he's figured out happened. But Alex isn't the person Jay's well intentioned helpfulness should be aimed towards.

Alex doesn't really think he needs saving, he's convinced he has to save everyone else. But he has a twisted understanding of what it means to save people, and his idea of saving people often directly lines up with the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him do. He doesn't (can't) realize that the things he does to save people (killing them) and the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him think it's okay to do (killing those same people) are the same thing.

When he has a bit more sense about him, he realises that killing because it's what the Operator put in his head is awful and not something he wants to do. But he doesn't see killing people to 'save them' as the same thing. He barely even sees it as killing half the time, and even when he does, it's for the greater good.

So he doesn't think he needs help and he doesn't think he needs saving. And even if he did realise he needs help, Alex doesn't believe himself worthy of being helped or saved, not when he knows what he really intended to do when he first asked Jay for help.

I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything And if you're fine with that You can be mine like that

SO i have two lines of thinking about what this verse could mean

Post College:

Alex doesn't break pretty items that Jay owns (he doesn't have any that Alex could break, really) but he does break Jay in a way. After they argue in the parking lot, he realizes that Jay isn't going to stop trying to help him, no matter what, so he'll have to force him to, by breaking Jay's heart and making him hate him.

Jay's heart is a pretty thing: It was loving even when Alex was giving it nothing but a good fuck in return. It made Jay help Alex with his student film even as Alex became more and more unbearable to work with. It made Jay come back to help Alex all over again when his girlfriend 'disappeared'.

Alex had to save Jay, and his own (deeply buried) feelings for Jay stopped him from just killing him like he had to save Amy, and Seth, and Sarah, and all the others. He had to find another way, and the only way he could think of was to wring Jay dry of every ounce of care he still held for Alex.

OR

During College:

Alex wasn't trying to hurt Jay and break his heart, if anything he felt constantly like he was doing nothing but breaking his own heart over and over again by denying himself the chance to actually date Jay. So he kept up the fwb situation with Jay because it 'suited' both of them (aka neither of them voiced the issues they had with it to the other) until he'd wrung Jay dry and an opportunity to escape having to deal with his own sexuality (Amy) came along.

But, if Amy hadn't come along and offered Alex the perfect way out, he would have kept the fwb going for as long as he could, not willing to give up having Jay in the only way he felt he could until he absolutely had to. If Jay could be fine with that, he could be Alex's like that, with their relationship never progressing and only ever wearing the two of them down until they resented each other and couldn't take it anymore.

They were never not going to go down in flames, but they could light the fire with wet wood and suffocate slowly on the smoke until the fire finally took and burned them up quickly and painfully.

Abandon all your stupid dreams About the girl I could have been, my dear 'Cause in the night I know you burn with feelings I cannot return, my dear Oh, my dear

In college, Alex was silently begging Jay to give up his hopes of ever actually dating him, of them being together officially. He knew what Jay wanted him to be to him, but he also knew that he couldn't be that. He wanted to, somewhere squashed deep down, he really really wanted to be the soft, loving, romantic partner that Jay was waiting and hoping he'd turn into, but he knew it wouldn't happen. Maybe he didn't realize all of that consciously. Consciously he probably just thought he didn't like Jay like that at all, that he was just a good lay and that was the end of it. But he had one too many dreams about taking Jay on quiet, gentle dates for him to really only see Jay as a good fuck.

The thing is though, that he knows what Jay wants them to be to each other. He knows from the way that Jay looked at him whenever he messes up and starts treating him a little nicer, a little gentler, a little softer, when they fuck.

He knows that during those moments where they still together and catch their breaths, and Jay looks up at him like he's hung the stars just because he's brushing his sweaty hair out of his face, that Jay has those feelings and those hopes. And he knows he can't return those feelings. He can't return the love that Jay lavishes on him by not telling him to fuck off and going and finding someone who is willing to treat him the way he really wants to be treated. It kills him, but there's nothing he can do about it.

(Also good news, you're about half way through :D whoooooo, the torment isn't eternal!)

You gotta know that this won't last Desperation will erase the fact I'm keeping all Of the answers in my cigarette box Yeah, the answer's in the second before the other shoe drops And if you're blind to that I am fine with that

Back in college, Alex needed Jay to know that their arrangement couldn't last, that as much as Jay wanted it to work and wanted Alex to magically sort out the shit in his head that left him too scared to even properly date Jay in secret rather than just being fwb, it wouldn't. Alex needed Jay to know that it wouldn't change unless it was to break the whole thing off entirely, which is what happened, it was what was always going to happen. But if Alex could have made Jay realize that that was what he should have expected, and that nothing he could do would 'fix' that, maybe the not-breakup wouldn't have hurt Jay so badly.

Alex didn't want to hurt him, he wasn't trying to hurt him back in college, he was just trying to stop himself from hurting by continuing their fwb relationship. Alex's life was spiraling out of control, his own thoughts were spiraling out of his control, as were his actions sometimes, and the only time he felt secure in his control over himself and his life, was when he was controlling Jay in scenes.

The answers he always gave Jay when Jay got up the courage to try to talk about their relationship, and what he hoped it could become, weren't the truthful answers. Alex told him he didn't like him back, told him he was just a good fuck, when the real answer was that he was terrified out of his mind, and the idea of changing their relationship even a little felt dangerous. Because their fwb relationship worked and it gave Alex the control he needed, if they started dating that would bring in a huge amount of unknown variables, and if it ended up not working? That would leave Alex with nothing. Not to mention the general internalized homophobia, and the homophobia all around them meaning that it could be genuinely dangerous for both of them if the wrong people found out.

So he keeps all the real answers hidden away in a place Jay won't look for them, in a 'cigarette box' (behind the lies he tells instead) because it's something easily hidden, its something that wouldn't look out out of place, just like the lies he tells don't look out of place. Jay has no real reason to question the answers Alex gives him, they make sense and Alex's behavior seems to back up the idea that he doesn't like Jay the same way Jay likes him.

And Jay's desperation to have a relationship with Alex blinds him to the fact that it could actually be possible if only Alex would stop lying to him. Any time Jay sees a crack in Alex's facade he second guesses himself, insisting that it's just wishful thinking and that little glimpse behind the walls Alex has built was just something his hopeful, lovesick mind made up. It's always a split second, something so tiny and easy to miss that Jay automatically dismisses it.

Oh, I will ruin you Oh, I will ruin you It's a habit, I can't help it I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

After college, when Jay and Alex meet up again and everything that happens after the argument in the parking lot happens, Alex knows that it's a terrible idea. He knows that all it'll do is reopen old, half healed, half festering wounds and rub salt in them, but Jay wants it, and he wants Jay so he doesn't stop them. He's lost all of his friends (whether to death or just distance), he's lost Amy, and the only thing he has left is an old, already failing not-relationship with Jay. So to tries to make himself feel better by rekindling that.

He and Jay fuck in the parking lot and Alex realizes that this is most likely going to be the last chance he ever gets to have Jay back, even just for one night. And if this is the last chance, he doesn't want it to be exactly the same as it was in college, so he takes Jay back to his house and does all the things he'd been too scared to back in college. Because who would find out? And if anyone did? Why would it matter, Alex's life had already fallen apart and become controlled by fear and a monster, what was getting beaten up for being queer in comparison to that?

This was his last chance to have Jay back, and Alex knew he had to make sure of that. He couldn't drag Jay into all of this, so he had to ruin everything in the worst way possible, and having taken Jay back to his house and treated him so nicely was (instead of coming back to bite him in the ass) going to work in his favor. Even in being nice, he was going to be hurting Jay, but that was what he had to do. Hurting Jay is a habit he can't kick, it's woven into his dna at this point and there's nothing he can do about that other than try to twist it into being something that's for Jay's own sake.

If he can just make Jay hate him enough, he can save him, he can drive him away and Jay won't be a target of the man in the black suit.

I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything But if you're fine with that If you're fine with that

Same as earlier :]

I will poison all your happy thoughts I will love you like the ashes in my cigarette box And if you're fine with that You can be mine If you're fine with that You can be mine, oh

Jay's 'happy thoughts' that Alex is poisoning are the memories of how nicely Alex treated him when they got back to his house. In the moment of it all, he wasn't thinking of anything other than showing Jay how much he actually cared about him and how he should have been being treated all along. In the moment he just wanted to be good to Jay. It was only afterwards that he realized what he'd have to do, and he took the next morning to spit poison into their breakfast, which could have been a turning point in their relationship if only they weren't doomed by the damn narrative.

So Alex ruins the night before for Jay by telling him he hadn't even wanted to remember that it was him he was fucking. He poisons those memories forever, as well as poisoning the idea of being treated well in general for Jay.

Alex loves all those truthful answers that he kept hidden away behind lies back in college. Those truths are what he was trying to finally finally let out when he and Jay spent the night together at his house.

He loves Jay like he loves those truthful answers that he never got to give him back in college, bitterly. Those truths were things he never thought he'd get to, never wanted to get to tell Jay, they sat rotting behind the lies he told, and now he can only look at them with a painful sort of nostalgia because it's too little too late.

[justbonusstagethings]

feel free to delete this if you’re not comfortable answering, but what’s both of the mods’ take on joelphil? both just in general as a fanon ship and relative to canon. (what i mean by that is, even though its a fanon ship, do you think they actually could have worked out if it were hypothetically canon despite joel’s pattern of behavior when it comes to romantic relationships. like. do you think theyd be different towards phil because he’s phil? more importantly, do you think phil would even have romantic feelings for joel in any capacity?)

sorry if this doesn’t make any sense snsbbdbxxbababzvzvx. also when i start psych 101 next month im thinking about doing a joel psych analysis video (/hj but that would be cool)

mod kitty: oh my gosh first of all i’m so sorry that this response is so late fjdkasjfk we went on a trip and then i started work again after some time away so i forgor

second of all this totally makes sense!! if you ever made an analysis video we would love to see it lol joking or not. and to answer your question! personally i love joelphil (or as we like to call it... jophi :D) in fanon because i always thought of them as having that kinda dante/randal from clerks relationship and used to write little fics for them that never got finished...

i drew a lot of what i wrote from the sorta vibe high score gave off i think, where they were just two friends trying to make art together. i loved exploring it even though i see it as complicated and not necessarily working out. i always saw joel and phil as really caring about each other as friends even if it didn’t necessarily come across that way in canon due to the situations they got into, and i could see that potentially translating into a relationship on both their ends. i wrote a lot about how i thought phil would definitely struggle with their upbringing/catholic guilt/internalized bs, but that joel would maybe have an easier time with it/with understanding his own identity (espec now that we see julie!)

all this to say that all of the activity in the bs fandom has made me want to revisit the unfinished stuff ToT thanks for your patience! c:

mod azka: hey, thanks so much for the ask! this brings me back to one of my first reactions to joel and phil’s relationship in canon, when i came to mod kitty (who introduced me to the webtoon) and i said to her, “do they even actually like each other?” i’ve had enough time now to sit with their dynamic and process it through my own fanon preferences, and even though that isn’t quite where i land anymore—since it’s been about 9 years—i do admittedly still have some misgivings about the ship. and not just because of the reasons i listed before about joel not being ready for a romantic relationship… it goes both ways, after all.

i do think they’re good for each other, and i can appreciate their relationship for what it is in the long term. but i suppose jophi just isn’t my cup of tea, and i really prefer them as friends. ^^; that’s not to say i can’t see the ship’s merits, though. i just think you’d have to bend canon too much to make it work in a way that would satisfy me.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

hello, bkdk shipper here.

Katsuki seems like an izuku simp these days, just look at the latest chapters. Makes me scramble to remember his other traits. Anyways.

There are some analysis u might want to read, mainly how japanese culture works. Cuz like, i only really forgave Bakugo after learning tht it's encouraged to bully the person who doesn't fit in. Ok so to me bakugo bullied deku bcause he saw deku was a better hero then him n lashed out in insecurity; was enabled by his peers and didn't think it was bad. Teenagers shud hv a good grasp on whts right and wrong, but also consider what they are taught.

I mindlessly used to ship bkdk before bcz i read them talking after dvk2. I was like 14 i think 🤔. I hv been there, been the cringe shipper u guys all hate so i understand why u dont like shippers.

Mostly just dropping by to admit i, a dumbass bkdk shipper, went diving in the anti tags, n came out alive. Why is it tht the antis n shippers only see the worst of each other? I only engage with the tumblr bkdk fandom n they're pretty chill n stay true to the material, hardly see weird headcanons. But i do see some. Mitsuki being abusive? What? Anything to make Bakugo sympathetic, amirite? To me, Bkgs story is tht he is a natural asshole but is learning to be a hero. I'll wait till the end of the story to full judge how hori deals his story. I hv a life outside of it n can wait.

Bkdk fandom is the same as any other fandom, has its good and bad sides. I dont wanna interact with the bad side so im turning on anon and venting in anti bkdk lmao.

i hv some complaints abt the execution, SPOILERS (hawks came in too suddenly for me. Like, ik as soon as his quirk was stolen tht he wud play a major role. But it still icks me how it was done. Bakugo has been thinking abt Izuku for unrealistic amounts of time. Yada yada.)

Sorry for the ramble in ur ask but im technically venting ✌️ thanks for letting me use ur space

Of course 😊.

You are right in saying that there are good and bad parts of the Katsuki and BkDk fandom. It’s why I always make sure to refer to the bad side as Stans and the good side as fans. I’ve got no issues with fans who simply like the character. At the end of the day, it’s whatever. I personally just hate Katsuki and I have issues with the Stans who swarm people who have different opinions. Sadly, like you said, this is something that happens in all fandoms. A BkDk shipper who frequents this blog mentioned how IzuOcha shippers started sending them death threats for not liking the ship which is horrible.

I will say that I definitely agree with you in a sense that Katsuki’s character is utterly attached to Izuku. He really can’t function on his own without him.

[ssruis]

Long list of prsk related things I’m working on that may or may not get finished idk I never finish anything and I love abandoning my works

Art:

> several meme redraws (‘I’m not a hater’ ‘I am’, ‘y’know. Nya.’, ‘ok fine I am a homosexual’, ‘we look like a couple’ ‘a couple of bestieees’, heart/thumbs up, ‘sorry *sleeps* sorry *sleeps more* sorry *sleeps more*’)

> redraw of the emunene hug thing

> actually finishing that ruikasa drawing

> niccori rap ending pose ruikasa w live nene reaction

> ruikasa w Barbie movie outfits that im only doing because that one fixer/barbie girl mashup is so inspiring. To me.

> nene looking at ruikasa: tsukasa is so dense idk how he can’t see that rui likes him if someone acted like that around me I’d definitely notice (while emu is clinging to her)

emu having flashbacks of her being even more obvious and nene not noticing: …uh huh! You’re so smart nenechan!

> emu hugging each member of wxs & grading their hugs (every1 gets an A plus)

> tsukasa & rui with the demon core

> wxs fantasy au drawing

> emu emu beam

> at some point I’d like to draw at least a bust for all the characters but. So much effort and so little skill.

> go for it kusanagi (emunene)

> there are several outfits I want to put wxs in but that requires me to study clothing because I am so bad at drawing that

Writing:

> early wxs days emunene focus nene & tsukasa fic where nene is having a category 5 wet cat moment over what to get emu for Valentine’s Day and tsukasa sees this & is like “I’ll teach you how to make chocolates :)” & they bond. because I love rotating the early nene&tsukasa dynamic in my head. actually started this forever ago & still kinda like it so it may get finished. (Shocking)

> tsukasa has glasses ruikasa fic (also started it a while ago but whether or not I’ll finish it depends on nailing down the characterization better)

> soul eater ruikasa fic w background emunene (mostly written but inside of my head which means it’s barely written)

> emu focus wxs fantasy au (partially written in my head but it’s like 30 different fics & id like to know that i can finish something before attempting to wrangle it)

> cpdb/space opera au (would be. Such a long one shot. Again partially written but I want to know I can finish things)

> HMC/several other inspirations ruikasa w background emunene fic (only has barebones framing)

> what I’m choosing to affectionately call “tsukasa & having a weird relationship to romance” fic that’s 1/4 extrapolating from canon & 3/4 projection

> emunene fic where they’re the romantic leads in a musical due to ruikasa meddling

> that one future ruikasa rui&asahi go on a date and rui is forced to confront things abt himself fic that exists in my head (framed out but i started writing the emu&tsukasa companion piece and it became 2000 words which made me realize the entire endeavor would get out of hand and idk if im that motivated to do that. Also was like the first thing i wrote both pjsk wise and fic wise and idk if i still like it that much. Sad bc there was a nene&rui scene i really enjoyed)

> emunene fic w emu & nene eating lunch with rui (started but needs. So much more work.)

> ruikasa fic where an wants to eat lunch w nene but she’s already going to go eat with rui bc tsukasa is sick and an is like i still feel some responsibility to the disciplinary committee and tsukasa being gone means rui is probably up to some truly crazy shit so she tags along and is forced to witness rui acting like tsukasa went off to war. Rui isn’t even up to anything he’s like ‘there’s no point if tsukasa isn’t here 😔’. Requires me to read more vbs stuff to get a good grasp on a though.

> emu + rui or emu + tsukasa fic that’s just deus ex emu towards their feelings. And then whoever she’s talking to forces her to talk abt her own feelings (like wrangling a cat)

> nene fic abt her feeling like she can’t properly convey how much emu means to her & then at the end emu’s like but you do in ur own way

Analysis/long ass posts

> emu + agency/being treated like a child and her relationship to her brothers

> emu and her dream being both motivation and a burden (for this and the above one it’ll probably be easier to wait for ohe on eng)

> tsukasa and his maturity/big brother complex

> emu + tsukasa adhd moments

> a good sekai can’t be made alone (WxS sekai + how emu/nene/rui have some degree of influence albeit minimal) (quotes are all pulled and transcribed im just being lazy abt writing it) (idk i also might decide to add another 2000 words of quotes if i go find the specific things im referencing wrt WLE… Might just do that for emu though because i feel like that goes more unrecognized and nene is more cut and dry/i already talked abt rui and his hang ups I don’t wanna do it again)

> nene wet cat/she’s actually so fucking weird moments

> at some point I want to talk abt the saki+tsukasa mental illness but this would require me to become a saki scholar and that would take so much time. I mean I’ll do it but I’m also lazy.

> nene + rui relationship decay lore crumbs and them not being able to really help each other/encouraging each other to stagnate (at least in the early wxs days)

> emunene momence….

> really long character voice guide for myself that will be very labor intensive. Nobody wants or asked for this I’m just neurotic.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

for the character ask thing, Barbara please (also hiii)

hiiiiii hiiiiiii hello hiiiiiii!!!! Headcanon A: realistic she's a narcissist and has bpd or smth

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious i feel like i don't have any hilarious headcanons about her at all 😭 anyway i think she's the kind of person who would make voodoo dolls and stuff becauseeeeee it reminded of a scene from fic i've been writing for a while now: beginning of s4, barbara makes a to-do list (i believe she makes to-do lists), things don't go according to plan and things get crossed off the list, by the end of the day it only consists of "kill (name)", the last item on the list is Lee Thompkins (i know it's a cliche alriiight🙄🙄🙄im just having fun w my fictional women in love) UPD: NOOO WAIT WAIT i have smth funny. there's a scene where Barbara goes to Oswald to get him drunk and whine about Lee all night (unfortunately half of the time she has to listen to him whine about Edward). i even have sketches for this scene lmao

and another one: Barbara broke Lee's tooth during their first kiss (don't ask how😭)

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends unfortunately unlike m2 i don't have any chat for hehehaha gotham hcs soo it's just heart-crushing and awful (and realistic?). she has a million mental problems bc of her parents (god I have a shit ton of text with the analysis but i still haven't finished it). i also have hc that she went to business/economy school against her parents but ended up having to drop out anyway? idk this woman would've be so good at business also. in the same fic there's a scene where Barbara slowly catches a mental breakdown after Tabitha and Selina refuse to work with her in s4. it's like. mac demarco's "chamber of reflection." alone again etc etc (i associate her so much with that song btw???)

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. she doesn't show her sincere emotions and the only sincerity we see are outbursts of anger/despair/etc, emotions that can no longer be contained + i think she was in the psych ward before Arkham and she's in love w Lee sorry it's canon to me

[aemiron-main]

HELLO AGAIN!! Just wanna say that I love your analyses as always. THE NATURE DOCUMENTARY ONE, LITERALLY UNHINGED IT'S SO GOOD. YOU'RE SO GOOD!!!

You talking about how Mike used to be open about his emotions, but isn't anymore with the milk analogy???? JAIL!! PUTING YOU IN JAIL AGAIN- IT'S SO GOOD.

Anyways I've been reading on repressing and suppressing emotions?? Ok so I'm not claiming to be a professional or anything, I'm just reciting what I've read about!! IT'S JUST REALLY INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT in the case of Mike.

Ok before I go on a tangent, I found something interesting-

CRYING!! MIKE WHEELER??-

Anyways suppressing is when you avoid talking or expressing an unwanted or uncomfortable emotion and in order to do that, some may do something to distract themselves, in the case of Mike (Him playing video games in the basement.) BUT there's also controlling your intake of food!! which is what Mike might also be doing. He's looking for some control.

Suppressing emotions happens when you don't know what to do with said emotions (aka his feelings for Will, he's having thoughts about Will so he ignores/avoids them by playing video games.) Basically suppression is something that you actively do whilst repressing is more unconscious. Mike might be a mix of these 2.

I think by the end of S4 or something he might be leaning more towards repression.

I wanna talk more about how his family life causes this, cause it's soo interesting. Mike doesn't know how to healthily express his emotions, because his parents are emotionally stunt. They've never talk about their emotions, so it's just uncomfortable for him to do so because he didn't grow up in an environment where doing so was considered normal. I think this effect the entirety of the Wheeler kids. They just don't know what to do with feelings, so they shove it down aka suppressing them. Just shoving them down so they don't have to deal with them.

Wonder why Mike feels more dull in S4? Going back to watch clips from S1-2 felt like experiencing smth different. Mike felt more explosive you could say, he was moody and angry, but at least it was an emotion. S3-4 felt like watching the colors drain out of him, because that's when he learns to shove them down, cause they're bad. Feelings like anger, frustration, sadness anything!! He shoves them down. Cause 1) he's shown that he can't express these feelings without repercussions, his parents punishment for acting out instead of understanding him. 2) He's been shown that these emotions are not important.

He thinks he shouldn't have these emotions, because he's not allowed to, he hasn't suffered enough to feel these.

Feels like I'm just repeating things, but he's SUCH an interesting character to talk about!!! Anyways just came here to say that you're probably my fav (personally) Mike analyst. You do it so well!!!



AAAAAAAAAAAA HELLO OMG!!! IM SO SLOW AT REPLYING TO ASKS IM SORRY BUT FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU SO SO MUCH YOU'RE SO SWEET AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY ANALYSIS!! I LOVE UR ART AND I LOVE UR MIKE'S LACK OF SELF VALUE ANALYSIS (i have a rb of it in my drafts i promise i havent forgotten abt it)!! AFBJHJBH THANK YOU THE MILK POST WENT FROM BEING A SHITPOST ABT HIM DRINKING MILK WHEN HES STRESSED INTO AN ACTUAL ANALYSIS BC I WAS LIKE 'wait... wAIT... a pattern is appearing..." AND YES OMG HELL YEAH IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOUR THOUGHTS!! Okay so YES!!!!! THAT ABSOLUTELY SOUNDS LIKE MIKE AGHH!!! YOURE SO RIGHT!! Mike in the basement, but also mike controlling his food intake!! I personally think that when it comes to mike & food as a source of control, its more of a subconscious thing rather than actively being aware of it, like he lacks appetite and isnt eating for a variety of reasons which i need to make a full post on one day, and so he then associates not eating w that feeling of being in control and so then it’s just another reason on his list of various reasons as to why he ends up avoiding food! Esp since i think mike’s food issues are also tied to his repression of his emotions and queerness and guilt and again how he’s subconsciously seeking control through food, but also how he associates ‘real food’ in s1 with family and karen’s cooking but as that relationship w his family deteriorates, esp bc of his guilt abt his queerness and bc of his depression/mental health in general, his relationship w food also deteriorates. Mike’s life has had so many moments of a loss of control, esp w the supernatural stuff, but I feel like a.) the continuation of his relationship with el and feeling like he has very little control over that relationship bc theres so many expectations for him and b.) feeling like he’s lost will are two core losses of control that are really affecting him pre-s4, esp feeling like he’s failed and lost will and out of control of his life bc his sense of stability (will’s presence in his life) is gone, and so he’s seeking a sense of control through food while simultaneously punishing himself/neglecting himself by not eating. And that is SUCH a great point both about a.) mike’s feelings for will and focusing on videogames and b.) the distinction between repression vs suppression. I def think mike has a mix of those two, and is leaning towards repression in s4, yes!!!!

“I wanna talk more about how his family life causes this, cause it's soo interesting. Mike doesn't know how to healthily express his emotions, because his parents are emotionally stunt. They've never talk about their emotions, so it's just uncomfortable for him to do so because he didn't grow up in an environment where doing so was considered normal. I think this effect the entirety of the Wheeler kids. They just don't know what to do with feelings, so they shove it down aka suppressing them. Just shoving them down so they don't have to deal with them.” And that’s another fantastic point/great way of framing it, as if he feels “more dull,” in s4, because he DOES, because he’s tired and struggling and pushing down his emotions and feels like he’s always going to be demeaned or ignored if he expresses them!!! Mike’s parents are SO emotionally unavailable and not only do they fail to encourage Mike to show his emotions, but they also punish him for it too! In s2, when he’s upset and expressing himself about having to give away his toys, Karen reprimands him for his upset & reminds him off things that he did like graffitiing the bathroom stall- which is odd because he’s already BEEN punished for those things, he’s already lost his Atari, and the toys aren’t actually tied to his “bad behaviour,” but rather, Karen wants the toys to be given away & is using mike’s “bad behaviour” as an excuse. It also struck me that Ted, who’s usually pretty silent, chimed in to give Mike shit with his “strike 20 you’re on the bench, son” comment but we never see Ted chime in to defend Mike in any of the dinner scenes, only to reprimand him. We don’t even see Ted and Mike have a nice normal conversation at the dinner table- or EVER! When was the last time we saw Mike and Ted just. Talk. At all. An actual conversation, not even a deep serious one but just anything that isn’t just “Ted making snarky comments at Mike”? Hell, Mike doesn’t even respond to Ted’s snarky comments at the s2 dinner table, nor does he respond to them in the kitchen scene in s4 ep1. He’s responding to Karen in both scenes but not Ted. We literally haven’t seen an actual conversation between Mike and Ted at all. The CLOSEST we’ve gotten to that is s1 ep1 where Ted is fixing the tv & Mike tries to ask about staying longer for dnd but Ted shuts him down and tells him to talk to/listen to Karen. This is REALLY interesting to me because that’s the only time we really see any sort of two way dialogue between Mike and Ted where they’re even just. Responding directly to eachother at all. And it’s because from that scene, Mike has learned that he can’t go to Ted and that Ted’s just going to redirect him to Karen & not listen to Mike, so then in Mike’s mind, why should he even bother with Ted? Mike shoves down his feelings SO MUCH, we see him get shut down so often and eventually he just starts shutting himself down & repressing his own emotions before anyone else can try and shut him down. “S3-4 felt like watching the colors drain out of him” THIS IS SO SO TRUE AND ACCURATE AND AGAIN IS A FANTASTIC WAY OF FRAMING/PHRASING IT!!! THATS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!! And i completely agree, at least he was EXPRESSING himself, at least it was emotions, but then in s3-s4, he REALLY starts shoving them down, because exactly like you said, he’s been shown that not only are his emotions deemed unimportant, but they’re also actively punished. 

He thinks he shouldn't have these emotions, because he's not allowed to, he hasn't suffered enough to feel these.

EXACTLY!!!!! He feels like he isn’t suffering enough because of how he compares himself to others & invalidates his own experiences and emotions & how other people, including El (with the s4 bedroom fight scene and her invalidating him when he talks about being bullied) have invalidated and shut him down too. And that’s part of what frustrates me about some of the discussion surrounding Mike’s mental health in the fandom too- they fall into that same “Mike hasn’t suffered enough to have mental health issues,” trap, and compare Mike to other characters and use that comparison to invalidate and willfully ignore his struggles and it’s NOT frustrating because that approach completely misses the POINT of how Mike’s character aligns with people who feel like they are suffering enough & who are invisible & who invalidate themselves because of how they’ve been invalidated by others.

HES SUCH AN INTERESTING CHARACTER AND I LOVE THE THOUGHTS YOUVE MENTIONED HERE!! And thank you so, so much omg that makes me so happy because i LOVE analyzing him! YOURE SO SWEET THANK YOU SM AAAAAAAAAAA!!! 💗💕