#i watched the episode and promptly sat my ass down doing this for 6 hours ✨

[dragon-spaghetti]

I don't think you meant to hurt me 🎶

Cause I don't think it meant a thing at all 🎶

(Please click for better quality!!)

[smartcookie727]

Iron Booty Shorts

Hey peeps :) final day of lovefest, but not nearly the final thing from me. Thankfully I’d written this one before the steam started to run low. NSFW. It’s lovefest after all. Also this is the AU. Woo. This time I was inspired by a headcanon I’d come up with a while ago, and I wanted to explore it a little. We’re semi public here cause I could not think of a good public idea and I’ve written them doing the deed in the guild already (here). I hope yall enjoy. As always, leave me a comment, reblog, tag, whatever you want to interact so I know what yall like! I’ll be back in a bit with prompts 4, 5, & 6! :D 

Pairing: Gajevy, hint of Nalu

Prompt: Public Sex

Length: 2.4k Iron Booty Shorts

The television droned in the small living room, but neither Levy nor Gajeel seemed to care. They were curled up together under a heavy purple blanket on the couch. Gajeel couldn't even remember which episode was playing; his entire attention was focused on Levy. Rough hands roamed across her delicate stomach, and her ass was pushed wonderfully against his growing erection. It would have been perfect, had it not been for Levy's roommate who kept flitting around the apartment.

Lucy was constantly grabbing new snacks, refilling her drink, and running to the bathroom for just a sec. What was even more irritating was that she never bothered to pause the damn show when she got up from her chair, insisting that it was probably not an important part. It always was, according to Levy later, and she'd have to sit up and rewind it, trying to find where Lucy left off. He couldn't care less if it was an important part of the show, he wasn't watching it. But he would damn show up at her door when she invited him over for "Once Upon a something or other crap" marathon at the bookworms'. He would be guaranteed hours of cuddle time with his little girlfriend and a good dinner. There might even be beer or wine if neither had work the next day. No, he'd never turn down an opportunity like this, but as much as he considered Lucy a friend, she was testing the limits of his patience.

Gajeel swallowed his frustration, returning to cooing in Levy's ear. "Ya know you've got the sexiest ass in the world?" She squiggled against him appreciatively. He squeezed the aforementioned ass, eliciting a giggle. "I just love it." Gajeel slipped a finger below the waistband of her booty shorts, caressing the sensitive hidden skin. "I love that too, ya know." He didn't need to see Levy's face to know she was blushing.

"I know you love that; I love it when you play with that," she whispered, "but have you forgotten that Lucy is right there?" She felt Gajeel shrug against her back.

"We got this big blanket to cover up, and she's so into the show, she ain't gonna notice your—" he rubbed his finger in circles around her pearl over her underwear, "—noises." True to his words, Levy suppressed a moan, and Lucy sat with her eyes glued to the screen, unaware of what was transpiring on the couch. Gajeel rolled her earlobe in his teeth for a minute and Levy relaxed against him, her inhibitions melting away.

Levy began to rub Gajeel's cock behind her. She knew he would grow bolder as he grew harder, and while part of her felt bad that they were being so intimate with Lucy in the room, the thrill of not being caught was more powerful. Levy ground herself against his length, working her fingers under his jeans and swirling the skin around his head. Gajeel cursed, loudly, and bit his fingers into her hips.

"I know!" Lucy responded, misunderstanding his outburst, "I can't believe she forgot about him again. Ahhh, this show is so good." She turned around to smile at the pair. "Glad you're liking it now, Gajeel."

He did his best to smile back, masking his embarrassment. Levy had pulled the blanket over her mouth and was stifling a flurry of giggles. Gajeel dug his fingers harder into her skin, and she returned fire with a jab of her elbow. Slightly mortified that they'd almost been caught so easily, he sunk his face in Levy's shoulder and pulled her closer. Levy shuffled to face him and placed a long kiss on his lips, calming his nerves.

That is until she flicked his nipples over his shirt and gave him a smirk, clearly wanting to continue their game. She turned back around and encouraged Gajeel touch her wherever he wanted. Moving his hands to an appropriate area, she relaxed, letting him take control. Levy’s head arched against his shoulder when he found any number of particularly pleasurable places, and Gajeel instinctively raised a free finger to her mouth to help muffle her reaction. Levy had been known to bite or otherwise clamp down on anything she could to stay the noises that threatened to fill the room when they made love. However, this time, Levy took his finger into her mouth and sucked on it, catching remnants of the wetness from when it had been elsewhere inside her. The action quieted her, but at the cost of Gajeel’s grunting growing louder, imagining his cock in place of his finger, barely contained by her soft lips. Another episode passed this way, Levy and Gajeel teasing each other to their wits ends, until the doorbell rang, startling the pair an inch into the air.

Lucy stood from her chair and pranced over to door. Taking deep breaths, Levy and Gajeel quickly calmed themselves to the point where they could interact with other humans.

"Who's here, Lu? You didn't mention anyone was coming over." Levy asked, her speech barely even.

Lucy didn't bother to answer, merely opening the door to reveal a man grinning from ear to ear, his wild, pink hair peeking out from his work hat.

"Shit, Lucy. Why'd ya have to bring over this jackass?" Gajeel complained from his place behind Levy, sitting up so he could stare down the other man.

"You wanna fight, metalface? I'll take you on right now!" he barked back.

"No. Natsu, Gajeel, there will be no fighting in this apartment. You nearly put a hole in our wall last time you went at it," Lucy commanded. Both men deflated within seconds. "Plus, I told you both last episode that he was coming over. You kinda grunted, and I figured you were fine with it." Levy's eyes grew wide; Lucy had heard more than she’d thought. If she’d been paying attention to anything but the show, she might have caught them going after each other under the blanket. "What? Were you so engrossed in the episode that you don't remember?" Levy nodded meekly in response. "Well the rule is boyfriends can come over for binge day—both boyfriends."

"Yeah, Lu, I know," Levy said bashfully. "Natsu hardly ever comes by is all. I guess it didn't register, I’m sorry." She smiled back at her friend. "Gajeel will be fine. They like each other—they just like to fight each other more."

Lucy laughed and dragged Natsu back to the chair with her. "Trust me, I know." She sat down across his lap and gave his cheek a peck before turning the show back on.

Gajeel grumbled against Levy's shoulder, something about punching the smile off Natsu's face, until Levy pressed her hand against his length. His complaining promptly stopped when her fingers wrapped around his skin.

Levy whispered against his neck, "You haven't forgotten our game, now have you?" His teeth lightly bit into her shoulder, answering her question. The world dissolved around him, replaced by every nook and cranny of Levy's creamy skin. Gajeel grabbed her shorts and worked his hands over her backside, teasing her over the black fabric. In his world, Levy's ass was a blessing sent down to meet him from a magical realm. It was perfection only befitting the most perfect woman. Gajeel had made certain to show his appreciation--and his claim--with a special touch: black booty shorts with the word 'iron' emblazoned on the back.

"Ya know, I love it when ya wear these shorts, Shrimp," Gajeel crooned.

"I thought you liked it more when I didn't wear shorts," Levy countered.  

He laughed. Her ability to banter was one of his favorite qualities about her. "That is my favorite, but it makes me happy when you wear them."

"Well, they were a gift, and I enjoy them." Levy drew out her words as her fingers danced along his abs. "And my boyfriend gets super turned on when I show them off."

"Gihihi. I sure do." Gajeel rolled Levy over so she was laying on his chest. He placed quick, soft kisses on her jaw. "Wanna know why?"

Levy simultaneously ground her core against his cock and grabbed his shirt, pulling them together into a fierce kiss. Her tongue mingled with his, and she felt him moan into her body. Pulling away suddenly, she hovered over him, lips just a breath away. "Why?"

"Because," Gajeel’s hands roamed down to her shorts, "a big guy like me needs a lot of iron, and I wanna eat that ass as a snack." He gave her firm skin a squeeze and tugged sharply on her shorts, pulling them down to her knees. The way Levy's body responded to his touch nearly sent him reeling. Gajeel wanted nothing more than to toss her on a bed and smother his face with her ass; he’d do anything she asked to make her feel good. Gajeel helped Levy discreetly wiggle the rest of the way out of her shorts, holding the blanket evenly above her. She placed her legs on either side of him and laid against his chest. Levy felt him move her underwear to the side and start to play with her folds. They both inhaled sharply as he teased his finger inside her core. Levy deftly unbuttoned his jeans, exposing just enough of him to grind her clit onto. The feeling of skin on skin was nearly too much for Gajeel to handle. He pulled his jeans down further, pressing his tip against her soaked opening and pushing in just a little.

Levy looked at him cautiously. She moved her body forward, removing his pulsing cock, and rested her head against his cheek. "I thought we were just teasing. We can't actually have sex out here with Lucy and Natsu a few feet away."

Gajeel whined in response and pouted. "I know, but I don't give a damn about them or the show. I just wanna be with you." His words hit her heart. She wanted that too, but it would be a long road to forgiveness if Lucy caught them fucking on the couch with her and her boyfriend in the same room.

The credits began to roll in the background. "It would be different if we were alone. Then I wouldn't mind doing it here on the couch." Levy rolled her hips and listened as his pulse surged. She loved to tease as much as Gajeel did, but she was generally the one being teased. Not that she minded; it definitely got her in the mood, but she wouldn’t let this opportunity pass her by. Levy’s game of cat and mouse pushed Gajeel right to his breaking point. A soft moan escaped her lips when she rolled over him particularly roughly, and his composure shattered.

Gajeel hiked his jeans up and ripped off their blanket. Leaping to his feet, he lifted a bright red Levy into his arms. Her cheeks were a harsh contrast to her extremely visible light blue panties. Within seconds he bounded to Levy's bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Lucy and Natsu stared at Levy’s door in shock as the theme played on the television. She turned to look at the couch where they'd been resting. Levy's black shorts were unmistakable against the heavy, purple blanket. Lucy's eyes went wide as her brain pieced together just what had been happening between the two—and what would be happening soon. There came a roar from behind her roommate's door, followed swiftly by a breathy moan.

Shivers shot up Lucy's arms. "Do you want to go anywhere else but here?" she stammered. Lucy turned to look at Natsu. His face had gone pale, she tried to laugh, hers probably was too.

"Yep." Natsu swallowed hard. "Let's get the hell out of here." He grabbed Lucy's wrist and her purse and practically flew out of the apartment. They didn't even bother to turn off the television, still playing their show.

Levy panted as she came down from their combined high. Gajeel laid next to her, planting soft kisses against every inch of her hot skin. Sweat trickled down her face. He hadn't gone easy on her, and Levy had enjoyed every rough thrust, roar, and bite. She liked it just as hard as he did, especially this time when they’d had so much foreplay. Walking would be a wobbly endeavor when she got up. Levy's breath steadied, as she laid in her bed. She was still a mess of embarrassment and bliss, torn in two from the events of that afternoon. Her heart and body were filled with passion for her boyfriend, but it made Levy cringe knowing that her shorts were lying on her couch, implications clear as day. As if her being carried to the bedroom and the consecutive moans weren't enough. Levy sighed, she knew they were alone. She'd heard the front door slam shut in-between Gajeel's grunting before she'd lost herself to her desire. The end table buzzed, Levy's cellphone lighting up the dark bedroom. She peered over at the small device, ignoring Gajeel's protests when she broke their contact. A text from Lucy flashed across the screen.

Just let me know when it's safe to come back…umm have a good time ;)

"I think you traumatized my best friend," Levy laughed, her voice full of embarrassment.

"It got us alone, right?"

"Yeah. It did." She was thankful that they had been left alone to act upon their lust, unburdened by the thought that her roommate would hear their exceptionally vocal appreciation for each other. Neither one could be too quiet unless they both tried extremely hard, and when they were actually making love, being quiet made the experience less enjoyable. Gajeel kissed her lips until Levy thought her lungs might burst.

"And now you can just let her know to not come home, and trust me, she'll stay away."

Levy giggled, at least there was a silver lining to this experience, other than the incredibly sexy man that had just fucked her silly. "Ok. Lemme text her."

Gajeel plucked the phone from her fingers and placed it face down back on the nightstand. "Oh, we aren't done yet.” One hand reached down between her legs and the other folded her forward. Levy felt teeth graze her ass. “I think we both need a snack."

[isolavirtuosa]

Post-Post Traumatic: The Second Time 5-6

Post-Post Traumatic [fanfiction] NaruSasu (in progress)

A series of “drabbles” following the events of Post Traumatic.

Previous Parts

The Second Time

5-6 under the cut

- 5 -

             It was a typical loud Sunday morning as I dragged myself out of bed and down to the kitchen.

           Naruto had a clone cooking breakfast and another clone bandaging up some kind of horrible injury on one of the kids.  The real Naruto was eating breakfast with the other kids, but jumped to his feet when he saw me, ready to smother me with affection.

           “Morning, love,” he said, giving me half a dozen smooches.

           “Morning,” I echoed.

           His grin could have burned the house down.

           “I made coffee,” he said, bumping his forehead to mine before going to get it.

           I took my seat, and promptly found a hot coffee in my hands.

           Two of the brats were fighting about something, so I glowered at them until they shut up.

           “More eggs?” Naruto asked, nudging my foot with his under the table.

           “Okay,” I said, playing footsie back with him.

           Naruto lit up again.

           We’d been having some kind of second honeymoon lately.  Naruto had decided to fulfill me in every way possible, whether it be making me coffee at all hours of the day, rolling my cigarettes, giving me massages, or running to the bakery and back whenever he thought I might need a baked good to lift my spirits.  He hadn’t nagged me about anything since Ino had gone back to Konoha.  He didn’t look at me judgmentally when I went to the opium shop, and he didn’t bat an eye when I skipped therapy to take a nap.

           All this was on top of his usual 24-7 work that had put giant bags under his eyes and a subtle weariness in his voice.

           It made me feel like shit.

           “So Gaara and I have a meeting with the delegation from Iwa,” he said, fixing a plate for me.  “But I was thinking maybe we could have a late lunch together before your appointment with Maiko?”

           “I’m not going,” I said.  I watched him carefully.

           His brow crinkled.  “Why not?”

           One of the kids started pulling on his pant leg, whining insistently.

           Naruto bent down to talk to him.

           “I don’t feel like it,” I said.

           Naruto glanced up at me.  “Well do you want to get lunch anyway?”

           “Don’t really feel like going to Suna.”

           Naruto gave me a little pout.  “If you change your mind, send me a message, yeah?”

           “Sure.”

           “You’re never home,” one of the brats complained.

           “Hey, the ninja world is in crisis,” Naruto said, ruffling his hair.

           “The ninja world is always in crisis,” the kid whined.

           Naruto grinned, picking him up suddenly and tossing him in the air.

           The kid shrieked with joy.

           “Naruto.”

           He turned his smiling face to me, still holding the boy.

           “I’ll meet you for lunch,” I said.

           His smile got even wider.  He went back to playing with the kid.

           I poked at my breakfast.  I knew that I was testing him by skipping out on therapy and refusing to meet him.  I had to recognize the bad behaviors and change them.  If I could do that on my own, then it wouldn’t matter that I had just pretended to take my pills and made them disappear with a jutsu.

           Recognize the bad behaviors and change them.

           I took all six kids with me to Suna for the afternoon along with Jugo.

           Naruto seemed surprised but pleased when we all joined him for lunch.

           He also looked tired and stressed, all hidden behind a wide smile and an easy laugh.

           “Don’t work too hard,” I said, pulling him aside as we were leaving.

           “I know, it’s just with the Earth delegation…”

           “Are you coming home tonight?”

           “I’ll try.”

           I touched his face, giving him a brief kiss.

           “You’re so cute, bastard,” he said with a grin.

           I frowned.

           Naruto grabbed me in a spontaneous hug, then skipped off to say goodbye to the brats.

           I waited up for him, but he didn’t come home.

           I felt nauseous when I got up.

           One of the older boys (Jun?  Jin?) was up and complaining about the lack of food.

           “Then make it your damn self,” I growled.

           Some of the smaller kids shrank away from me.

           Recognize the bad behaviors and correct them.

           “I need a cigarette and coffee, and then I’ll cook,” I said, moving into the kitchen.

           “I’ll help!” Mari said cheerfully.

           “Thank you,” I said.  I didn’t have to be ruled by my mood swings.

           My mouth felt dry, and I ended up drinking two cups of coffee before making breakfast.  The brats were all wary as I set food in front of them, and I didn’t blame them.  I was a ticking time bomb.

           Quitting all my medications had seemed like a very good idea yesterday.  Now I eyed the bottles lined up at my place at the table.  I just couldn’t accept that I had to spend the rest of my life being controlled by those damn pills.  I was in control.

           Suigetsu was coming down the stairs, scratching his stomach.

           “Run the house today.”

           He looked at me through bleary eyes.  “Me?”

           “You’re the only one here.  Jugo went out this morning and Naruto’s in Suna.”

           “I’ll just wake Karin up…”

           “Do not wake her up, I don’t want to hear all that screaming.”

           “You okay, Bossman?  You’re kind of pale.”

           “I’m always pale.”

           “Whatever,” Suigetsu said, waving his hand around in a way that I assumed meant that he’d run the house for me.

           I went to my room and locked the door.  I sat on the bed, rubbing my temples.  I looked around the room slowly, letting my eyes focus on everything.

           No dead Uchihas floating around the room.

           I pulled out my pipe and drifted off into a haze.

           “Smells like a temple in here,” Naruto grumbled, nipping my ear.

           I let my eyes flutter open.  “It’s nice.”

           “I’m sure everything is nice to you.  You look relaxed,” he said, scrutinizing my face. “A little sweaty, though,” he added. He smoothed my sticky bangs away from my forehead.  “The way Suigetsu was talking, I thought you’d be having an episode.”

           I guffawed.

           “Babe, you are so high,” he said, shaking his head with a little smile.

           “I’m glad you’re home,” I said, touching his face.

           He let out a heavy breath.

           “You’re leaving?” I asked.  I started twirling a blond strand around my finger.

           “Shika and I are heading out to Kumo tomorrow. You got any business there?”

           “Tomorrow?” I repeated.  “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

           “Okay,” Naruto said, tucking his head under my chin. “I’d really like it if you came, though.”

           “You should just stay home with me.”

           I felt the chapped movement of lips against my collarbone.  “I would love that.  But ninja world in crisis and all.”

           “Fuck the ninja world,” I murmured.

           “Yeah, yeah.”

           “Your hair is dirty.”

           “Didn’t have time for a bath.”

           “It’s okay.  I kind of like it.”

           I could feel Naruto laughing into my skin.

           “Don’t laugh at me,” I said, but I wasn’t angry. I was the opposite of angry. Everything was very, very good. “You’re pretty.”

           Naruto peeked up at me, a delighted look on his face. “Am I?”

           “No,” I said quickly.

           He was crestfallen.

           “No, no, I’m lying, you are.”

           “My heart can’t take all this,” he complained, leaning up and kissing my temple.  “I gotta pack.”

           I watched him open up his weapon cache.  It occurred to me somewhere in the recesses of my mind that Naruto was getting into something dangerous.  “Be safe.”

           He flashed me a canine grin.  “Of course, babe.”

           I flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

           “You’re really spaced out,” Naruto complained, lying on top of me.  “Pay attention to me.”

           “Heavy.”

           “I’m not that heavy!”

           “Fatass.”

           “My ass is perfect and you know it!”

           I groped it to the best of my ability with my floaty hands.  “Not bad.”

           Naruto cracked up.  “You are too cute.”

           “Mm.”

           “Mm?”

           “Mm.”

           “You sure you don’t want to come?”

           “I can’t,” I said.  I couldn’t remember why not, but it seemed important.

           “Okay,” he said.  He looked so tired.

           “Quit your stupid job,” I said, smoothing my thumb over his cheek.

           “I love my job.”

           “No, you don’t.”

           “Well, okay, no, but I love what I can accomplish, you know?  Sakura and I are really making meaningful changes, and the other villages are following us.”

           “You look tired, sweetie.  And unhappy.”

           “Hey, no, I’m not unhappy,” Naruto said, peppering me with kisses.  “How could I be unhappy when I’m with you?”

           “The fact that I can think of more than ten reasons is worrying.”

           “Sasuke.  Come on.”

           “Can’t come,” I said with a laugh.

           Naruto sat up, straddling my lap and pulling me up with him.  He pushed up my eyelid with his finger, pulling down the lower lid with his thumb. He leaned in to study my eyes.

           I felt like I was drowning in blue.  “Your eyes are so beautiful.”

           His cheeks tinged red, and he smiled softly as he let go of my lids.  “Thank you. You feeling okay?”

           “Why, because I said something nice?”

           “Well, there’s that,” Naruto said, pressing his forehead to mine.  “But you always say nice things when you’re drunk.  Or high.”

           “I have to pick and choose when to say nice things.  Don’t want you to get narcissistic.”

           “Thank you, I appreciate you looking out for me,” Naruto hummed, nuzzling my nose with his.  “But like I was saying, your pupils are really small, and your skin is hot to the touch.”

           “I’m fine.  Better than fine.”

           “Okay, just tell me if that changes,”

           “Yeah.”

           “Love you,” he said, pressing his lips briefly to mine before getting up.

           “Where are you going?”

           “Gotta meet with Gaara before I go.”

           “Yeah,” I said, already starting to drift away.

           “Sasuke?  I gotta go.”

           I blinked at Naruto blearily.  “I thought you already went?”

           “I mean to Kumo.”

           “How long was I asleep?” I muttered, rubbing at my eyes.  “My throat…”

           Naruto handed me a glass of water.

           I sat up and drank it in its entirety.

           Naruto was petting my hair, a look in his eyes that I didn’t like.

           “More,” I said, holding out the glass to him.

           “You could ask more nicely.”

           “I’ll blow you if you get me more water.”

           “Not that nicely,” Naruto muttered, shuffling out of the room.  He came back with a full glass, handing it to me.

           “Thank you.”

           “Mm.”

           “Did you sleep at all?” I asked.  Gaging the level of darkness in the room, it had to be about five in the morning.

           “Didn’t have time.”

           “And now you’re going to travel all day?”

           “Yep.”

           “Come lay down.”

           “Shika and Temari are coming in like an hour.”

           “Then sleep an hour.”

           “Might as well just push through it and sleep tonight.”

           I glared at him.

           “What?”

           “You are going to take care of yourself and lay the fuck down.”

           “I’d rather spend my time productively-”

           “Naruto.”

           “You’re such a nag, jeez,” Naruto muttered, crawling into bed.

           “That’s hilarious coming from you.”

           “Heh.”

           I pulled the sheet up over his shoulders.

           Naruto nestled into the pillow and sank right into sleep.

           I rolled my eyes and drank my water.  I felt like crap, but I’d slept enough, so I got up and went downstairs.

           When Shikamaru and Temari arrived, I informed them in no uncertain terms that Naruto would be sleeping some more before they left.

           “This idiot could use some sleep, too,” Temari said with a shrug.  “I’m going to do some summoning.”

           “Summoning what?” I asked, but she was already gone. “Whatever.  Go sleep in one of the empty beds,” I said, gesturing Shikamaru towards the kids’ rooms.

           I started making breakfast.

           Doing the everyday minutiae of life wasn’t a way of appeasing others, it was a way of taking control.  So I did it, because I was in control.

           “Sasuke,” Mari said, tugging on my sleeve while I flipped pancakes.

           “What?” I asked, using a neutral tone.

           “You look upset.”

           “Goddammit, I’m not!”

           Mari looked side to side.

           “I’m fine,” I corrected myself.  “Pancake?”

           She held out a plate and accepted one, though she didn’t look appeased.

           This was never going to work.  I was completely on edge.  I needed my medications to take the edge off, but they took everything else off, too.  I wasn’t willing to give myself up like that anymore.

           Temari came back, looking nonplussed as usual. “The boys still sleeping?”

           “Yes.”

           “Oh, well, let them sleep.  This shit can’t get any worse if we delay a few hours, can it?”

           “My sources are saying that the protests are still peaceful,” I said, serving her some pancakes.  “Do you really think it’s best to put Naruto in the middle of this?”

           “It’s because he’s Naruto that we’re doing it,” Temari said with a shrug.  “Goddamn, Uchiha, you can cook.  Anyway, put Naruto in front of a crowd and he’ll have them all wrapped around his finger before he’s even finished.”

           “But isn’t that exactly why these rebel ninjas hate him?”

           “Who hates Naruto-sensei?” one of the kids asked.

           “Half of Kumogakure,” Temari said.

           The kid looked appalled.

           I was dissatisfied.

           A rebel faction had started surging to power, mostly in Kumo, but with pockets in all of the hidden villages.  The faction was tired of ‘dictator’ Uzumaki forcing reforms on them.  They wanted to go back to traditional ninja policies, and they wanted Konoha to remove Naruto from power, citing that a village could not have two kages.

           It was all the dumbest shit I had ever heard in my life.

           Naruto was amazing.  Not that I would ever tell him that, but he was.  He had placed a minimum age restriction on all ninja promotions, fighting for kids to just be kids, not child soldiers.  He had pushed for mental healthcare to be more of a priority for all ninjas, and had fought to take away the stigma from receiving counseling.  He and Sakura had even opened up the council to have a representative from every ninja class, and even a non-ninja representative.

           Also, he saved the world every damn time it was in trouble (obviously with my help).

           But these idiots thought that he had too much power, and that he used that power to manipulate others into following his agenda.

           Which was ridiculous.  Sure, Naruto could whine someone into doing his bidding, just to get him to shut up, but using the threat of his superior strength and chakra to take control of the ninja world as a shadow dictator?

           He wasn’t that smart.

           There were also those who thought that I was controlling Naruto from the shadows.

           That seemed more likely, but those people clearly didn’t realize how mentally unstable I was.

           “You watch his back every second,” I told Temari.

           “Of course,” she said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.  “You could just come with us if you don’t trust me with the job.”

           “That’s not a good idea right now.”

           Temari shrugged.  She didn’t push, though, which was why I found her tolerable.

           When I knew they couldn’t delay their departure any longer, I went to wake up Naruto.

           He was disoriented, and slightly sour about me not waking him up sooner.

           “You have to take care of yourself,” I said, squeezing his cheeks between my hands.

           He pouted.

           “If you do, then I’ll take care of myself.”

           He nodded vigorously at that.

           “Good boy.”

           There was a solemn air as Naruto, Temari, and Shikamaru set off.

           We all watched until they had disappeared over the horizon.

           I went to my room and lit my pipe to take the edge off.

 - 6 -

             Detoxifying was shit.

           “Sasuke.  I’m not leaving this house with you like this,” Karin said, looming over me while I rested my cheek against the toilet seat.

           “Do your goddamn job, Karin.”

           “You realize there are six children in this house who need looking after?”

           “You hate kids.”

           “I don’t hate them…”

           “I’m fine.  I can watch six brats.”

           “Move away from the toilet and try saying that.”

           “It will pass.”

           “How long since you stopped, Sasuke?  A few days?  You might be in the worst of it, but it’s far from over.”

           “What do you know about coming off of psychiatric medicine?”

           “Uh, well a whole damn lot since I live with you, not to mention that I’m a scientist.”

           “Whatever.”

           “You’re ridiculous.”

           I responded by dry heaving.

           Karin sighed loudly and squatted next to me, patting my back.  “Why do you always have to think that you know best?  If you had just stuck with Maiko’s weaning plan…”

           “It’s my fucking body.”

           “I know this.  I understand.  I do. Stop shaking your head.  I was a guinea pig for Orochimaru, in case you forgot. Things for me and Jugo and Suigetsu weren’t like what they were for the Uchiha prince.  We didn’t have our every whim catered to.  We were tortured and experimented on.”

           I was quiet.

           Karin continued to pat my back.

           I ended up putting off sending her to Iwa, against my better judgement.  There were rumblings of another uprising, and I needed someone there.

           But I needed someone here with me more.

           It made me feel weak, but I needed to recognize the bad behaviors and change them.  Sending Karin away when I obviously needed help would just be me continuing my usual bad choices.

           I was perfectly lucid off of my medications.  I was in control.  Everything was going to be fine.

           I just needed to throw up once or twice a day. And I had a terrible headache. And my whole body ached.

           I’d been through worse.

           Karin dealt with the kids’ schooling and training, and brought me hot tea while I tried not to look like I was dying.

           Opium helped.

           “You look… better,” Karin commented a few days later, poking and prodding at me.

           I swatted her hands away.

           “Think you can run your empire on your own now?” she asked, sitting on the bed next to me.

           “Of course.”

           “Of course,” Karin agreed.  “Hey, Sasuke?”

           I let our eyes meet.

           “Suigetsu and I…”

           I felt a little stab in my chest.  They were leaving.

           “Don’t look like that.  We’re just thinking of basing ourselves in Kiri.  We’d still report in to you.  We’d still be part of Taka.”

           I didn’t know what to say.

           Say something honest.

           “I’d miss you,” I finally said.

           Karin teared up and threw her arms around me.

           “That wasn’t an invitation for a hug,” I muttered, trying to pry her off.

           “I kind of like the new un-medicated Sasuke,” she sniffed.

           “Hn.”

           “It won’t be right away.”

           “I don’t care.”

           “You obviously do, ya big softie.”

           “I take back everything I’ve said in this conversation.”

           “No take-sy back-sies.”

           “Why are you talking like a toddler?”

           “Because you’ve had me watching over your brood all week.”

           “They’re not mine.”

           “Oh, I see.  Is that why you don’t bother to learn their names or anything about them? So then you don’t have to feel responsible for them?”

           “Do you ever say anything that isn’t annoying?”

           “Yeah, all the time.”

           “Why am I never around at those times?”

           “You’re an asshole,” Karin said, smacking me in the arm.

           I frowned at her.

           “Well you are.  Anyway, it’s not looking good in Iwa, so I’ll head out tomorrow.”

           “Okay,” I assented.

           The withdrawal wasn’t as bad now, and I felt like I had overcome something.

           Naruto finally came home, sunny smiles and warm blue eyes.

           The kids went crazy, jumping all over him.

           I was the only one who could see the strain in his every movement.  The reports out of Kumo had not been favorable towards Naruto.

           “Enough,” I said, and the kids all froze.  “Naruto and I need to talk.”

           There were some whines of protest.

           I glared them away.

           “What’s up, baby?” Naruto asked as I closed the bedroom door behind us.

           “You tell me,” I said, studying his strained smile.

           “Whaddya mean?”

           I stared at him.

           It took about five seconds for his bottom lip to start trembling.

           I suddenly found myself with an armful of sniveling hokage.  “Hey,” I said, rubbing his back awkwardly.

           “Why are things like this?” he sniffed into my shoulder.

           “People are stupid.”

           “That’s your explanation for everything.”

           “Yeah, well.  People are stupid.”

           Naruto sniffed loudly.

           “Are you done?”

           “Sometimes I wish you were a little more comforting, ya know.”

           “I’m sorry.  Poor baby.”

           “Are you being sarcastic?  You sound sarcastic,” Naruto said, peeking up at me.

           “I was trying not to be…”

           “Yeah, yeah,” he said, putting his arms around my neck.  “Sorry I broke down like that.”

           “I like when you’re the mess,” I said, pushing his bangs from his eyes.  They’d gotten long.

           “I’m not a mess,” he complained, stealing a kiss.

           “You freak out when everyone in the world doesn’t love you.”

           “Sasuke, those people hate me.  For trying to help them.  I don’t get it, I really don’t get it.  They said that we’re secretly training child ninjas in Konoha while making all the other countries hold back their best and brightest because of the new Chuunin Age Restriction Law.  And they said I’m trying to destroy the clan system.  Just because of the Hyuuga thing, and eliminating the branch house and the main house system.  But Hinata came to me with that!  It was her idea!  I’m not interfering in the clans’ way of doing things!”

           “I know,” I said, sitting him on the bed. “Naruto.  People are stupid.”

           “You said that already,” he said, pouting up at me.

           I lowered myself onto his lap, resting my forehead against his.  “They don’t like change, even if it’s good for them.”

           “I don’t want to be hated,” he said quietly.

           “Then go downstairs and be with all those brats who love you more than anything.”

           He smiled a little.  “You were supposed to tell me that you don’t hate me.”

           “Now you’re telling me how to comfort you?”

           “As has been previously mentioned, you suck at being comforting, so…”

           “See if I ever try and be nice to you again,” I growled.

           “Nooo, be nice to me, please,” he whined, holding me tighter.

           I finally felt comfortable enough to throw my arms around him and cling.  “I love you,” I mumbled into his hair.

           “I love you, too,” Naruto said, because he always had to say it back, like a compulsion.  “I love you so much, baby.”

           “I’m not an infant,” I said, but my protests were getting tired.  Naruto knew if I didn’t want him calling me something, I would make it so he would never call me it again.  His superhuman healing abilities really came in handy.  He hadn’t even so much as tried to call me his ‘wife’ in years.

           “Mwah.”

           “Gross.”

           Naruto smiled, studying my face.  “Everything okay here while I was gone?”

           “Peachy keen.”

           He paused, looking at me more studiously.

           I stared back.

           “Okay, well I’m gonna go help Tori with-”

           “You’re going to take a nap.”

           “No, but-”

           “Naruto.  Please.”

           “I don’t see what the big deal is…”

           “The bags under your eyes are deeper than Itachi’s.”

           “I cannot possibly look that bad.”

           “Are you saying that my brother looked bad?”

           “No, he was a smoking hottie like you, but-”

           “I’m sorry, did you just say that my brother was a… ‘smoking’… ‘hottie’…?”

           “Well, yeah, but you see-”

          ��“Lay down.  Now.”

           “Whatever, bossypants.”

           “Why do you talk like a teenage girl?  You are thirty-two fucking years old.”

           “I don’t,” he whined, pulling off his pants before crawling under the sheet.

           “You know what, you’re right, that’s an insult to teenage girls everywhere who have a far better vocabulary and are significantly more intelligent.”

           “Bitch.”

           “Keep proving my point, Naruto.  Keep proving my point.”

           He snored in response.

           I rolled my eyes and went back downstairs.

           He was calmer after his nap, looking slightly less exhausted.  Of course he then opted to spend all his time doing things with the kids.

           I decided to draft Sakura a strongly-worded letter about sending Naruto out to soothe crowds of protestors.

           He came in while I was cooking dinner, stealing vegetables as I chopped them.

           I brandished the knife at him.

           Naruto smiled easily and took it from me, taking over the chopping.

           I felt about a million times better just having him near.  It was annoying how dependent I was on him.  Maiko had suggested I look at it in a different way.  It was comforting to have someone who could make me feel better just by being near.  Then she told me that codependency was awful, and that Naruto and I were the grossest couple she’d ever met.

           I didn’t disagree.

           “Why are you smiling, love?” Naruto asked, pushing a piece of tomato between my lips.

           I chewed on it.  “No reason.”

           “I’m smiling because I’m happy to be home.”

           “Okay…”

           “I saw B and them while I was in Kumo.”

           I was quiet.

           “They’re doing real good.”

           “That’s nice.”

           “Yeah,” he said, giving me a soft look.

           “Maybe they should come visit sometime,” I finally muttered.

           “That’d be nice.  Kurumi said she’d love to see you.”

           Naruto was supposed to be the one with the abandonment issues, not me.  I kept stirring the pot on the stove, not looking at him.

           “Oh, I got you something,” Naruto said, catching me around the waist and kissing my cheek.

           “Was that it?” I asked, looking unimpressed.

           “No, silly, you know I always have lotsa lovin’ for you,” he said, covering my face with kisses.

           I wrinkled my nose.

           “Say, ‘ahhh.’”

           I stared at him.

           Naruto pouted.

           I opened my mouth.

           He grinned, pushing something past my lips.

           I chewed on it thoughtfully.

           “Good, right?” he said, grinning.  “Not too sweet.”

           “It’s good,” I agreed, sucking on the bitter chocolate.

           “I thought you’d like it,” he said.  “I got some sweet ones for the kids.”

           “Thank you.”

           Naruto’s smile lit up his face, and he slipped the open box of chocolates in my pocket before going back to the vegetables.

           Being home seemed to be healing him.  The worry was starting to fade from his eyes, the tightness in his gait was loosening.  His smiles crinkled his eyes and made my stomach twist in the good kind of knots.

           After the little kids had gone to bed, Naruto decided it was a great time to regale the older kids with stories of his youth.

           “You sound like Lee,” I murmured, nestled into his side on the couch with a book on my lap.

           “I do not sound like Lee!” Naruto cried, flailing around.

           “I’m trying to read…”

           “Then stop interrupting my stories!”

           “Then stop talking about the ‘autumn of your youth’.”

           “Lee says springtime.  It’s clearly different.”

           “Clearly.”

           “Anyway.  Ahem. Like I was saying.  The Land of Waves.  There I was, facing off with Haku!”

           “I was there, too, idiot.”

           “Read your damn book!”

           “Hn.”

           “Yeah, yeah, so he was using his kekkei genkai. Those ice mirrors were no joke, but somehow Sasuke could see them, right?”

           “That’s when he awoke his sharingan!” Mari piped in. She’d heard the story before, but was for some reason not completely bored by it like I was.

           “You got it!” Naruto said enthusiastically. “So Haku looks into those swirly red eyes, and is like, ‘oh, shit.’”

           “I don’t think he said that,” I interjected.

           “It’s what he was thinking!  God, do you have to keep messing with the flow of my storytelling?!”

           “Sorry, please continue.”

           “Thank you.  Yeah.  So. Anyway.  He decided that since Sasuke was cheating with his magic eyes, that he’d go after me, the love interest.”

           “You were not my love interest at twelve.”

           “Liiiar.”

           “You’re bad at telling stories…” one of the boys murmured, and Naruto got affronted.

           I pretended to read my book.

           “This is the best part, okay?!” Naruto said, flailing around and making it very uncomfortable to be pressed into his side.

           I slid my fingers into his hair, rubbing soothingly.

           “We’re listening!” Mari said, eyes glowing. “Haku attacked you.”

           “Right, so he launches his attack, and there’s just no way for me to know where it’s coming from.  I thought it was over.  I thought I was dead.”

           “And then Sasuke jumped in front of you and took the attack!” Mari said.

           “Yes!” Naruto said, taking his hand off of my thigh and grasping Mari’s hand.  “He said that his body just moved on its own.”

           “That’s so like him,” Mari said, the two of them grinning at each other like mad.

           “I thought he was dead.  The light went out of his eyes.  His whole body just went limp.”

           “And then Kurama took over your body!”

           The boys got interested in the story again.

           “Did you use the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode?”

           “This was before Kurama and I were friends,” Naruto explained.  “So it was more of him possessing my body, and making me go batshit crazy.”

           “What?!”

           I listened to Naruto talk, occasionally scratching behind his ear.  He would lean in and nuzzle the top of my head that rested against his shoulder. My little puppy dog.

           The kids were rapt as Naruto remembered punching Haku through his mirrors and breaking the jutsu.  They weren’t that excited at hearing that I had survived the near-death experience.

           “We already knew that he lived,” one of the boys pointed out.

           “So is that when you knew that you were in love?” Mari asked.

           “It was when I realized how much Sasuke meant to me,” Naruto said, kissing the top of my head.

           “It was when I realized what a hindrance Naruto was.”

           “Oh my god, jerk, say something nice for once!”

           “Physically incapable.”

           “You’re setting a bad example!”

           I looked at the way that Mari’s eyes were shining.  I didn’t like this newfound streak of romanticism budding up in her.  She wasn’t a lost and lonely 7-year-old girl anymore, and someday she was going to grow up and leave the house.

           I was so selfish.

           Naruto yawned loudly.  “I’m going to bed.”

           “But you didn’t finish telling us about Zabuza!”

           “Tomorrow, okay?  I’m beat.”

           “All right…”

           Naruto stood up and stretched.  He looked down at me.  “You coming?”

           I bookmarked the page in my book and followed him up the stairs.