#i watched stuff and doodled as fast as my shaky hands would let me i need more time to study him

[inuringly]

that man cat man cube man questioning existence who man? quick asuka doodle.

[osita-iza]

Tadashi Yamaguchi: Notes Along the Pages

Summary: Tadashi falls for the bookworm he’s friends with in class. He decides the best way to confess is to leave you notes in one of your favorite books. 

Word Count: 2.5 k

Warnings: Vague spoilers for Jane Eyre lol

A/n: Self-indulgent fluff of someone who enjoyed English class 

A hopeless romantic is a person who holds sentimental and idealistic views on love, especially in spite of experience, evidence, or exhortations otherwise.

Tadashi was one of the first people you became friends with in secondary school. Most people’s eyes would begin to glaze over after two minutes of you raving over books, which was one of your favorite activities. Not Tadashi’s though. Even if he didn’t know any of the characters or plot points, he would nod excitedly as you ranted over how the main character needed to grow a backbone or how the heroine was blind to the love interest’s advances. That was the foundation for your friendship that continued all through to third year. 

That’s why you didn’t question him when he handed you a copy of Jane Eyre, one of your favorite books. He was blushing more than usual, but you knew he could sometimes overthink things and be embarrassed. He had listened to you rave about every aspect of the book for years at this point, and you had borrowed it from the library countless times. “I actually read it,” he muttered. His cheeks burned brighter when your eyes shined as you took in the book. “It was as good as you said it was,” 

“I told you!” You pulled him into a hug. “But you really didn’t have to buy me this Tadashi. This is so sweet,” 

He shrugged, and you didn’t notice how his eyes softened at your excitement. “I figured you’ve read it so many times, you need your own copy at this point. Plus, it’s a classic, so it really didn’t cost that much,” 

You two continued on to class like normal. At lunch, you decided to go to the library to read, a common habit for you. You smiled to yourself as you cracked open the spine. You were almost completely alone, the only companions being students doing homework at the library’s computers. On the first page, a sticky note greeted you. 

This was one of the first books you talked to me about in first year, and I actually bought this that year. You complained about some of what Rochester did, but that you knew that he needed to fall in love with Jane. I remember I could feel the love you had for this book and its characters, and I just wanted to experience that too. I wanted to see what it was about this book that made you love it so much. What was so special? 

Then I read the book. While it is an amazing book, I did realize something. 

You were what was special. 

Your chest felt tight as you finished reading the sticky note. His writing was tiny and scrunched up together, something you always teased him about how difficult it was to read at times. As if he was so shy even his writing was trying to hide. You remembered how he listened to your overenthusiastic ramblings about the budding romance between Rochester and Jane. He was the first one who did, only one in fact. 

Without hesitation, you skipped through pages until you reached another sticky note. It was the scene where Jane met her best friend, Helen; the bright sticky note staring back against the black print. 

Okay I just finished this section and why didn’t you tell me what happens to Helen?!!! That really hurt. 

I get why you love Helen so much though. She’s so calm and peaceful. She’s  an angel, kind of like you. Even though it was her comforting Jane, I kept imagining your face.

I remember when we first met. Don’t tell Tsukishima, but I was terrified of going into high school. There were so many new people, and rules, and things I had to remember. Tsukishima was the only person I knew from my middle school that came to Karasuno, so I was worried about feeling like an outcast. 

And then I got assigned to sit next to you for my first class. I don’t know what stars aligned for that to happen, but I’m really happy that it did. You were so excited that someone would listen to you about a book that you weren’t disappointed when I didn’t know how to respond. I never said it, but I could listen to you talk about books all day. You get so excited; it’s like you’re a battery and I get some of your energy when you do. When I was upset cause I was a coward, you told me that my shyness was cute to you. That me being quiet meant that I had more time to understand people on a deeper level before I spoke. Doesn’t mean I don’t still feel like a coward sometimes, but I always hear your voice reminding me I’m not when I do. You were my Helen. 

There was a bright smile on your face as you reread the sticky note’s sloppy writing on the front and back. You remembered that day too. He had been tense in the seat next to you, and you chose to ignore him until you saw him trying to catch the title of the book you were reading. That observation sparked the strong friendship between the two of you- one that transcended summer breaks, finals, and different schedules. It bloomed into trips to the mall, late night phone calls, and studying with each other on the weekend. 

Skipping through the pages, there were more and more annotations. Comments on the amazing writing, the “expensive” words the author used that he had to look up, and the amazing romance between your favorite characters. You made a note to go back through and read all of them later on. Right now, you were focused on finding more of these sticky notes. 

The next sticky note was during the proposal scene between Jane and Rochester, when they admitted that they loved each other. Large sticky notes that covered almost the entirety of the page were placed there. 

One time I asked you why you liked reading romance books so much, especially because you didn’t watch a lot of romance movies. I was walking you back home from the library because it was dark. You got this dazed look in your eye when I asked you. I wonder if you remember what you said... 

You did. 

You told me, in books, the author can’t rely on swelling music, or a pretty face, or fancy camerawork to make you believe two people are in love. They can only use words. You said that people were forced to use their words, and that reading it was so sweet and intimate, and you loved it. That the idea of someone thinking you’re as beautiful of the stars sooooo strongly that they have to tell you- that they’ll explode if you don’t know- was one of the most passionate and romantic things you could imagine.

You said you couldn’t imagine someone doing that for you, but the idea was really sweet. Ever since I heard you say that, I realized that the idea of you not getting that left a bad taste in my mouth. Because, god, you really deserve it.

You let out a shaky breath as you reread his words over and over again. Tadashi had never hinted that he felt that strongly about you. It felt nice that he thought of you so often, that your conversations replayed as much in his head as they did in yours. That he cared about you a lot, and he needed you to know that. 

Your nerves were going crazy as you imagined Tadashi’s face. His smile and burning cheeks was one of the cutest things you had seen in your life. He was one of the cutest things you had seen in your life. You wondered what his smile would be like when you saw him next. Would his cheeks burn that beautiful rosy pink when he saw you holding the book?

You skimmed the pages, some having doodles in the margin, and you got to a page that had one of Jane and St. John’s conversations on it when you saw another sticky note. You giggled at the first line: 

He is one of the worst people I’ve ever read about >:( 

I understand every single rant you went on about him. I still don’t think that I fully understand everything you said about him because you talked a lot about history and Victorian patriarchy, and it’s sometimes hard to keep up, especially because when you get excited you talk really fast. 

I love when you talk like that. Even if I never understand what you’re talking about ever again, I want you to keep talking to me like that. You look so cute and passionate about it. Your voice sometimes goes to a higher pitch too, god, I love it when you do that. It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. 

You skipped ahead, catching him comment ‘Thank god’ next to the sentence where Jane decided to go back to Thornfield. It made you smile, happy that he got excited by the plot too. 

The amount of annotations increased, but the comments got smaller and smaller throughout the rest of the book. You were somewhat disappointed until you got to the last chapter. The only visible line was “Reader, I married him.” The rest of the book’s page was covered by a piece of notebook paper that was taped to it, folded up to fit inside the book’s cover. 

Okay, so I saw this book at a bookstore first-year. I bought it, read it, and I planned to give it to you and ask you out at the same time. Obviously, that didn’t happen. I was too shy to give it to you, so instead it built up dust in my bedroom. Then, you said that you never 8thought you would get to experience all of the stuff that happened in your books. 

And I didn’t know how to respond because whenever I read a line that would be considered romantic in this book, or any book, I always thought of you. All of the love songs, rom-coms, books, and cliches became about you. I understood all of those deep metaphors English teachers tried to get me to care about because I happened to sit next to you in class. So I’ll be completely honest with you and all of the ways that I’ve unknowingly found myself romanticizing you.  

In simplest terms, you’re existence is pure poetry. 

Sometimes you would wait for us after practice, and the sunset would come down and reflect off of you in the best way. You’re usually on your phone or reading a book. There’s a moment before you notice that we’re outside, and you’re completely at peace. I think I fall in love with you every time I see the light reflect off of your peaceful face. I wish I was an artist just so I could paint that picture over and over again. 

Your voice is like music, whether you’re whispering snide comments to me in the middle of class, or ugly singing to songs when we’re alone, or ranting about how amazing the couple you’re reading about is. If I had to give up music or listening to your voice, I would give up every song in the world in a heartbeat. 

I’ve spent so much time getting to know you, and I don’t think I could ever associate you with disappointment. All I want is to keep learning about you because there’s always something new to learn. Everything about you, from your personality, to how you speak, to that face that must have been sculpted is just captivating to me. You’re being is a museum dedicated to you, and loving you is getting the chance to explore just a corner of the museum. If it were up to me, I would spend everyday for the rest of my life trying to explore the rest of the art that is you. 

Honestly, I think I’ve been in love with you ever since first-year; it just took me a long time to figure out how to verbalize it. Even if you don’t feel the same way, I need you to know that someone has loved you that much. I love you that much. 

Folding the paper back up, you checked your phone, seeing that there wasn’t that much time left in lunch. You wanted to see Tadashi, but what were you supposed to say to that kind of confession? There was an intense energy in your body, but you had no idea how to utilize it. 

You grabbed the book and your backpack, knowing Tadashi was likely at lunch with some of the other volleyball boys. As you stepped into the cafeteria, heart hammering against your chest, you saw him laughing along with his friends. He glanced over to where you were, as if he could feel your presence. 

His cheeks immediately began to burn pink, and he said something to his friends before leaving the table and walking towards you. All of his friends turned their heads to look at you as Tadashi stepped in front of you. “So... did you read the stuff I wrote?” he mumbled. His eyes avoiding yours. 

“Yeah, I did...” You began running your finger up and down the pages of the book in your hands, sometimes catching a sticky note that was sticking out of the side. 

Tadashi nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if any of it made you uncomfortable I just want-” 

“Are you free Saturday?” His eyes widened, and he stared at you for a couple of moments. You let out a stilted laughter at his silence. “So... is that a yes?” 

“Yes!” Tadashi said, cringing when he realized how loud his response was. “I mean... of course.” 

You nodded, not knowing what else to say. He looked so adorable right now. You wanted to pull him into your arms, tell him how beautiful you thought he was, how you had been staring at him for just as long, how you loved everything about him. 

The bell rang before you could though. Plus, you weren’t sure if you had the courage to say all of those things to him in the moment. You settled for grabbing his wrist to pull him closer to you. Tadashi furrowed his eyebrows at your action before his face somehow turned redder as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “I think you’re poetry too, Tadashi,” you whispered. 

His body felt like jelly as you said his name. A soft smile came across his face as you leaned back. “I’m glad I told you then,” he said. 

You giggled before holding up the copy of Jane Eyre. “I am definitely keeping this,” you replied. 

“Not too cheesy?” 

“Never worry about being too cheesy with me,” you giggled before you stepped away from him. “I’ll see you Saturday.” 

He nodded, watching you hold the book close to your chest, as if you needed it to remind you of all of the words he wrote. And Yamaguchi promised himself that he would remind you of those words himself at every opportunity he would get. 

[zap-writing]

The sun sets on another day - TRSNS fanfic

@redstone-sun‘s fic fucked me up so I did what I know and wrote about it to cope asdfghjhgf

the basic summary of this fic: Mumbo has a Bad Day(TM) and we stan Good Guy Iskall 

AO3 Link

On days like these, Mumbo felt his guilt like concrete weights tied tight around his throat.

The actual impulses and desires to obey that sanguine call no longer affected him as often as they used to―perhaps out of sheer necessity rather than true recovery, but the fine details didn’t matter. Not to Mumbo at least. The intrusive thoughts and feelings, however, were another story.

Sometimes he wished he could just press a button and fix all of his problems like one would a faulty machine, force him through some kind of psychological reboot. His prescribed process was tedious enough as it was; exposure therapy was a snail’s race by nature, and the transitions were mind-numbingly gradual. From mentions of redstone, to discussions of redstone, to looking at redstone, to touching redstone, to holding redstone, to――

And so on and so forth.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and the process was anything but linear and orderly. For a long while it felt like every step he took forward, something would send him three steps and a stumble back. One moment he was setting up semi-complex circuits from memory in his obsidian home, the next Grian would make an off-hand comment about a test contraption one of the hermits built nearly killing him and Mumbo would find himself involuntarily wishing it had.

Those moments scared him. He knew that it wasn’t really him thinking then, that it was just some heinous, corrupted part of him, some deep innate brand of the Red Sun festering behind his eyes. But it wasn’t any less terrifying to catch himself tempted by the crimson voice in the back of his mind that told him he didn’t belong in the overworld, that he needed to continue wiring in the quartz covered plains or he’d never be satisfied, to beg and steal and lie and cheat if it meant getting back to the Sun’s dimension, that if anyone got in his way he had to kill kill kill kill kilL KILL KILL KILL KILL K―

. . .

Those nights, Mumbo felt pain beyond anything he’d known before, from the crescent welts of his fingernails dug deep into the meat of his forearms, to the once-foreign hopelessness that left him wondering why anyone thought he was worth saving anymore.

--------------------------------------------

On days like these, Mumbo found himself convinced that he’d never be released from his blood-stained binds.

It hurt more than he cared to admit, having redstone so intrinsically ruined for him. Sure, he had brute-forced his way into standing it enough to look over blueprints with Iskall and play with it like a child when he was alone, but it was never the same. Nothing compared to the satisfaction of improving on an existing design, nor the pride and excitement of inventing something entirely new.

Inventions. Redstone was such a progressive material, a resource far beyond any of the hermits’ understanding. It was able to do just about anything if only someone could crack the code to get there. Most of them already knew of the wonders it could provide--plenty of the hermits used redstone-based bionics, or at the very least a form of enhancement.

Iskall was no stranger to them, obviously. Perhaps Mumbo shouldn’t have been surprised, then, when the man came to him amidst his wallowing with a stack of crudely arranged notes in hand. He was somehow more chipper and cheeky than usual if the bright smile on his face was anything to go by. There was a proud sort of flourish as he handed the papers to Mumbo, who sat with wariness and confusion. That apprehension, however, was quickly replaced with curiosity.

Blueprints and notes regarding the conception of redstone-powered contraptions and devices would typically be a quick read for Mumbo, but even having been friends with Iskall and Grian for quite some time, there was no way to scan through the chicken-scratch handwriting and less-than discernible doodles in a short amount of time.

Mumbo’s initial attempt at cracking the code that was Iskall’s notes was interrupted not ten seconds in when two loaves of bread, an apple, and a bottle of water was set down in front of him, making him flinch slightly. He stared at the selection for a moment, mouth suddenly dry, before nodding his thanks and reaching for the apple. It was in that instant that Mumbo realized he didn’t remember the last time he had something to eat and swallowed down his embarrassment.

The two men soon fell into silence as Mumbo worked through the notes bit by bit, often pausing to right papers that had somehow folded or flipped upside down in Iskall’s attempt to organize them. Though it took a while, a careful read through informed Mumbo of Iskall’s plans to research a possibility of mechanically repairing his vocal cords.

There was a prominent section on the usage of prismarine crystals and diamond powder to color match the box with his eye prosthetic, and another that explored the possibility of controllable pitch and volume settings.

(In a better scenario, Mumbo would have been terrified at the possibilities that would come with giving Iskall such power, and even now he wondered who the first prank victim would be.)

All of it was quite clearly in the early stages of development, but Mumbo could help but brighten up at the thought of Iskall being able to talk again. It wasn’t something he liked to think about for long or often, but he missed Iskall’s voice. Before the incident, his friend’s laughs and sly comments were one of the things that helped the days go by, and Mumbo knew he wasn’t the only one who thought so. The man deserved his voice and more for what he’d gone through.

But information on Iskall’s voice-box plans came to an unexpected stop halfway through the stack of notes. Suddenly Mumbo was reading through two different handwriting styles about mechanical joints and synthetic muscle fiber and artificial nerve endings and――

He stopped reading. This section contained far too many things he knew too little about.

Head spinning from unfamiliar jargon, he looked up at Iskall in question.

“F...f-for Gri..ian,” came the harsh rumble from Iskall, startling Mumbo in the process. Both of the men stared at each other for a moment, each sheepish in their own right, before Iskall pulled out a relatively new-looking book and began writing.

[Doc let me take a look at his arm a bit ago and helped me out with the technical stuff. I’m hoping that we can replicate a pair for Grian. Took much more work comin up with this blueprint than it did for my voicebox plan lol ]

Mumbo went from bemused to ecstatic as he read Iskall’s explanation, feeling surprisingly hopeful for the first time in a long time. The sheer thought of his friends getting back what he took from them made his heart swell with guilty joy.

The technician’s part of his brain fired off a million different inquiries about how they could get these plans to work, but his heart ached knowing this was a project he wouldn’t have much part in if any. He didn’t specialize in bionics for one, but even if he felt like dabbling in the expertise for the benefit of his friends, Mumbo didn’t want to get too involved out of fear of relapse.

Especially not after today. He just wasn’t ready.

“These plans are incredible, Iskall.” Mumbo whispered in awe, flipping through both sections of the packet thrice over. A part of him yearned to add notes and suggestions of his own along the margins of the already messy prints, but he swallowed down the eagerness and handed the papers back to Iskall with a shaky hand. Far too fast for him to subdue, bubbling apprehension rose into his chest again as a presence beneath his ribcage scolded him for not ripping the notes to shreds when he had the chance and Mumbo turned away from Iskall in shame. He didn’t even notice himself staring off into the corner of his room until the scratching of a feather pen against paper got his attention again.

[I was hoping you would say that. Wouldn't be Architech patent-worthy without your approval :) ]

Mumbo gave a half-hearted as smile his dear friend stored the notes away in a light blue shulker box he hadn’t seen get brought out. As Iskall packed the box up, a red hot silence burned within the room and Mumbo flushed at the uneasiness of it all, hating the fact that he couldn’t enjoy the company of the people he loved anymore. It made him feel like an ass when he was so unresponsive and caught up in self-pity, but at the same time it felt like acting as if nothing ever happened would be a slap in the face to everyone he wronged. He was halfway through a mental reprimand when Iskall huffed through his nose and came to sit beside him at his birch wood table.

A beat or two passed in silence before a steady hand reached out to fix the uneven part in Mumbo’s hair, smooth out the collar of his dress shirt, and pat him gently on the side of his face. The warmth of Iskall’s hand damn nearly drove Mumbo to tears. With cloudy eyes, he watched as Iskall tilted his head, expression a melancholy mix of fondness and sorrow.

[It’s bad today, huh?]

With a sharp intake of breath and clenched teeth, Mumbo glanced away from Iskall. He’d rather pretend he was fine than admit to the Red Sun’s influence holding strong sway over him today. But before he could come up with something to say, Iskall was already shoving his book back into Mumbo’s hands.

[Don’t try to lie to me, I can see it in your face. And in the stubble on your chin.]

“I…“ Mumbo started, cotton-mouthed and ashamed, closing his eyes to prevent the tears from glossing over his vision.

Sweet scarlet whispers pricked at the back of his head and swirled behind his eyelids, reminding him the Red Sun never sets the Red Sun never sets the Red Sun never sets, and he tensed his jaw to try and drown out the words with a high-pitched strain. The world around him grew warm and tight and dark, and despite his best efforts, the voices seemed to just get louder.

All at once, Mumbo realized that Iskall was pushing at his shoulders and letting out determined, wordless noises as he tried to bring the man from his panic. Mumbo brought down his hands from where he found them pressed firmly against his ears, noticing that his face felt warm and wet. He silently wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve, defeated.

“...Yeah. It is.”

“I-I...It’ss oh-k-kay.” Iskall offered gently, releasing his hold from his friend’s shoulders and sliding them down to his arms as he scanned Mumbo for any more signs of distress. As soon as his hands were free, he reached for his book again.

[It’s a nice day out today. Let’s go for a walk. I’ll shoot Grian a message to meet us in the shopping district.]

Before Mumbo could begin to read, Iskall plucked the book from his hand and began writing frantically, leaving Mumbo to wipe at the heavy tears that pooled over the edge of his eyelids once again.

[Let’s not tell him about my plans yet. I don’t want to get him excited for something that could take months or more to even start on. Promise to keep it a secret for now?]

Mumbo couldn’t help but flash him a warm smile. This man has done so much for both him and Grian even in wake of his own obstacles and responsibilities. There was nothing in this world or the next that Mumbo could offer as retribution.

“Sure thing. You have my word.”

Iskall huffed a laugh, grabbing and immediately shaking Mumbo’s hand with unnecessary earnest.

[Jolly good cheers mate! Let’s get you ready for our stroll, shall we lad? Pip pip!]

With a good-natured roll of his eyes, Mumbo stood from where he’d been sat since early that morning, bones audibly popping from inactivity, and made towards his room to change into a clean white button-up and dress pants, leaving his coat on the bed. It took him a moment to brave the mirror in the corner of his room, but once he could stand to look at his reflection, he made an honest attempt to make himself presentable. After smoothing out the folds and wrinkles in his shirt, Mumbo pulled at his mustache a few times in an attempt to style it, lamenting that he didn’t have the time to shave the shadow from his jaw.

There was a soft, gentle hum from Iskall that got Mumbo’s attention as he exited his room, and he walked closer to read what his friend was saying.

[Handsome.]

Bashful, Mumbo blushed and shut the book. Compliments always made him somewhat embarrassed before, but it hit him much harder nowadays, especially when he felt bad about not being able to clean up as much as he preferred. Despite his self-consciousness, Mumbo was grateful for Iskall’s encouragement and offered a small smile in thanks.

As he and Iskall locked up his house and began the journey towards the shopping district, Mumbo watched him message Grian and shake with silent laughter―probably at something stupid Grian responded with, knowing them, but he was too engrossed in thought to catch what was said―and noticed that for the first time in a while that he couldn’t hear the honeyed song of the Red Sun, nor could he feel its pull deep within his bones.

Truly, Iskall and Grian were gifts from the universe he didn’t deserve. It was a bloody wonder that they still stood by him after all they went through. Despite everything, his friends still cared for him. Still loved him. There was nothing he could do to repay them for that. And nothing could compare to the outpour of adoration he felt for them in return.

--------------------------------------------

On days like these, with his best friends at his sides, Mumbo felt free.

[rainbows-fanfics]

Two Dearest Friends (Chapter 17)

Summary:

Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, meets Sally, a ragdoll created by Dr. Finklestein. A friendship blossoms between them as he introduces her to the world outside of her tower. Sally is falling for him as their relationship grows into something more, and Jack finds the same is happening to him.

A story where the Christmas incident never happens, and Jack and Sally find their happiness on their own.

Pairings: Jack Skellington/Sally

She keeps running until she finds a generous shadow cast from one of the walls. She ducks into it and hides, trembling and holding herself together while she listens to Finklestein's voice in the distance. His wheelchair buzzes closer in her direction. She squeaks when he comes into view. He's still wearing a scoff, his lips quivering from the position as if he's held it for hours. He looks around angrily but winces. The bare sunlight must be bothering him. He never really leaves the tower, so the lighting must be awfully hard for him to adjust to. And it's a good thing it is, because if he looked around any closer, he'd have found her only a foot away from him. He finally turns his wheelchair around and disappears out of view, leaving her to sit there in utter silence until the beating stops sounding in her ears. "Oh, now I'll be grounded even longer..." She groans to herself. Why did she have to run!? She could've just let him take her and save all the effort. That's where she was going to end up, anyway! She hears footsteps coming in her direction. Not just one pair, but many. She curiously looks from her spot and finds the Halloween Town band looking around while fumbling with their instruments. They scan every part of the floors and walls, and she doesn't move from her position. Eventually, John's eyes find hers in the dark, and he points in her direction while resting his other hand on his chest. "There she is, fellas!" The members follow his finger and come rushing over. She finds no need in hiding anymore as she surfaces from the dark. She keeps her head down in shame, ready for the judgement of her friends. For them to bring her back to Dr. Finklestein... "Dolly!" James exclaims. "We were lookin' for ya! Are ya' alright?" She frowns but nods her head slowly. "I am. Were you looking for me?" "Finklestein." Jimmy explains as if it was obvious. "He's been looking for you. Said something about locking you up for life once he finds you." "We just wanted ta' make sure yer' okay." James clarifies. She looks at them worriedly. "You aren't going to tell him I'm out here, are you?" The three of them shake their heads, making her sigh in relief. For a moment there, she was worried that they were going to actually blab about her whereabouts. They all come forward to lay assuring hands on her shoulder. Despite the feel of their cold, bony hands...she can't help but smile at their company. "We promise we won't tell. N' anyone who does will be hearing from us." James said. "Don't worry, Dolly." "I don't know how to thank you...really, I appreciate it." "No need. Yer' our friend, n' it's th' least we can do." James assures.

Sally tenses hearing those words, remembering the time Jack said them. It causes her to smile softly, and she brushes a strand of her hair out of the way. The four of them continue to converse as they bring her back to their usual spot in the Outskirts. She decides to catch up with them in this time - asking them about their routines and more of themselves. Getting to know them more was the least she can do as a thanks for helping her out. It turns out that the three of them are homeless, and they describe themselves as "starving artists". They survive off of what monsters tip them, usually getting quite a sum from Jack. They described to her the things the skeleton would do for them, like offering them shelter from the rain and giving them extra blankets when the nights were cold. All this talk raises her admiration for her friend, reminding her of such a wonderful person he is. She knew beforehand that he was friends with the band, but hearing how much he did for them reminded her of what he has done for her as well.

She eventually dismisses herself in fear of overstaying her welcome. She thanks them one last time before wandering around, keeping an eye out for the Doctor. She doesn't know where to go exactly. She decides to follow the path to wherever it may lead, finding a lot of other wonderful sights in the Outskirts while she's at it. There is a hidden garden full of dead trees and plants somewhere, and finds future potential hiding spots if she ever needs them again. She comes back into town and finds Jack is nowhere to be seen. The others he was with are now spread out around town, and she isn't very interested in talking with any of them. She sticks to the corners and backgrounds of the scene before sunset comes. That's when she leaves for the Outskirts again and stands a few feet from Finklestein's Tower. She debates going back. Climbing the steps and sneaking back in...but there's a strong urge pulling her away. She turns on her heel and rests her back against the wall, watching as the sun soon turns into the moon. In the next moment, she's fast asleep with her head on the wall. ------------------------------ "Cock-a-doodle-do!" She wakes to the sound of a dead rooster crowing. It comes from the direction of the Skellington Manor. She jumps up with a start before finally coming to her senses, realizing she's now on the streets instead of her bed. She looks around and sees some of the Vampires shielding themselves from the sun and scurrying into the shadows. The lake dwellers are surfacing from the water and other monsters are walking down the paths into town. She helps herself up using the wall, finding her back hurts just a tad bit. Her hair must've gotten ruffled sometime during the night because she feels her yarn in knots. Her clothes are dirty and she hadn't slept the greatest. She kept waking up, and all she can recollect are the sounds of crickets and footsteps during the night, but nothing else. She rubs her eyes for a moment, ridding the blurriness of her vision. She wonders what to do for the longest time. Then, she remembers what happened yesterday and makes a firm decision to not to return to the Doctor. But where else can she pass the time? The answer is obvious as it was morning. Sally picks herself up and wobbles over to the Graveyard. She pushes through the unlocked gates and climbs down the path. She feels quite shaky this morning - she probably slept on her legs wrong. She keeps having to use nearby graves to support her as she drags herself along. She stops just before the Witch Hazel and Deadly Nightshade, and goes to put her basket down before realizing she no longer has it. She panics and looks around frantically, wondering where it could have gone if it wasn't in her hands. "I lost it!" She exclaims to herself, placing distressed hands up to her face. "No, no, no..." In the midst of her panicking, the gates open. She has no time to hide as the footsteps grow closer and closer to her. When she finally looks up, she finds Jack coming towards her. Unlike her, he seems to be wide awake and as energetic as ever. She can tell by how quickly he skips over to her. He doesn't seem to be surprised to find her here, contrasting to her open mouth and frozen pose. She feels embarrassed as he reaches her and waves at him shyly. "Hello, Jack." "Sally! It's great I found you here. My next guess would've been the Doctor's place, and I didn't want to head there so early in the morning." He moves his hand from behind his back to present her basket. "-You left this yesterday. I tried finding you to give it back, but, well..." She takes it from him, the smile widening on her face. She wants to hug him in thanks for finding it, but has to restrain herself. "Oh, I'm so sorry I ran off like that...I just didn't want to be seen-" "Don't worry about it. I would've spent all morning looking for you. I had a feeling you were going to need it eventually." That reminds her of what she was thinking about only a few minutes ago. She dips her head in thanks before collecting some more witch hazel and deadly nightshade. Jack watches her from the side and remains quiet until she's finished. She tucks them into the basket and shyly looks away, unsure of what to say to him after everything that happened yesterday. Should she apologize for running away? Thank him again for getting her basket? Explain to him why she's here? "Are you alright?" He suddenly asks. She blinks once or twice. "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" "You look like you've suffered a rough night. I can only assume something is wrong." She pats her hair down and adjusts the ends of her dress. So he did notice the change in her appearance...it makes her flustered knowing he pays attention to that, and she regrets not fixing her hair before coming out here. Still. It wouldn't hurt to open up to him, right? He already lied to the Doctor for her countless of times before, so this shouldn't be anything new. Taking a deep breath, she decides to spill the truth. "I just wanted to get out. So, I left." "I can see that." He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Would you believe me if I told you that's the sixth time I've ever seen that man leave the tower?" Her eyes widen. "I wouldn't." "At least he didn't catch you." His shoulders relax. "I heard a rumor he couldn't find you and gave up. I figured that's what happened." "I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble..." "Oh, not at all. I'm here because of our prior engagement. Today's when we were supposed to meet; that's why I'm here." She gasps, placing a hand to her chest in surprise and grimacing at her appearance. "-I'm so sorry! I should have dressed right, fixed my hair, certainly not cause trouble with the Doctor-" He places a hand on the side of her arm to calm her down, and she relaxes under the contact. As if it is her body's natural instinct to succumb to anything under his touch. It feels nothing like what she experienced when the Devil touched her in the same place just yesterday. She calms down instantly as she stops talking. He's wearing that smile of his that always manages to send chills down her spine, and wonderful butterflies into her stomach. He soon removes his hand and her side goes cold without it.   "No need to be sorry. I could really care less about your appearance." He pauses. "I think you look just fine." "That's rather silly to say..." She blushes. "Seeing as you're wearing a suit and all..." "I always wear this." He corrects her. "I didn't say a thing then, and I won't say a thing now." She smiles and looks at his suit, admiring it once more. She's always loved his taste in fashion, though she has yet to tell him. It's a flattering combination of a pinstriped jacket and a black getup. His clothes fit him snugly and reveal just how thin he is underneath. It's a perfect match for him that nearly fits his tall frame. She becomes interested with it and takes a step forward to get a better look, turning her head to admire the tails resting against his legs. How has she not noticed them before, from all this time being around him? "I do love your outfit. Who tailored it?" He watches her carefully before replying, "A seamstress, long ago. Back when we had one, of course." She hesitates as her hand hovers over the tails. Her eyes meet with his for a split second before she goes forward to feel its fabric. She feels hot being so close to him like this, and touching his clothes is giving her the same sensation as touching any other part of him. He isn't objecting either; he actually looks interested in what she's doing. She flushes as she slowly drops them back to their rightful place. "What's the story with your bow tie?" "This guy was my inspiration, funny enough." The skeleton taps it. "Bats are my favorite animal. And what wonderful creatures! Quiet things that love the shadows. I'm quite fond of them." She looks at his chest and holds a hand in front of her face. She may not see it herself, but she knows she's completely red by this point. An innocent look at his undershirt made her thoughts go wild, trying to picture what could be underneath that. She tries to rid these provocative thoughts while he glances the other way. "Shall we sit on the Spiral Hill?" He asks politely. She nods and grabs her basket, lifting the ends of her dress up to step over the fence. She's getting used to climbing over it now, finding it was a little of an issue. She's accustomed to its steepness and she knows how to maneuver her way along the hill nowadays. She sits by his side while he rests himself beside her, and they both take a moment to absorb their scenery. It is still very early in the morning - there's a dampness in the air that gives slight chills, but the pumpkin sun should be warming them any moment now. "I'm glad I found you here. It's good to know you're okay. I was worried about you after seeing what happened." "Really?" He nods. "I thought something bad had happened to you when the Doctor threw in the towel. If he couldn't find you, I was hoping I at least would." She feels something soft come into her heart. Like the butterflies that are in her stomach are climbing her body to flutter around in it. She sighs and smiles. It touches her to know that he was concerned about her. The Band was worried as well, but...well, Jack is different. He's everything to her. A "I'm okay," She concludes. "Thank you for worrying about me. I can handle on my own." "I'd say. Hiding from Fink earns a spot in my book. That man's always so thorough with everything he does. You must be good at hiding." "Only if it's necessary...I really didn't want to, but he just looked so...so..." "-Scary?" He finishes. She nods, causing him to chuckle. "He can be persistent. I'd know." She looks at him curiously, the thought of Finklestein's life now coming to mind. He was always so cruel that it never occurred to her how he can be friends with someone as great as the King. The Doctor once told her that she was a burden, and as guilty as that made her feel, she wasn't sorry for it. A question lingers in her mind, and she plays with her hair to grow enough confidence to ask it. "Jack, was the Doctor ever...happier, before I came along?" He looks down at her for a moment before returning his gaze to the sky. He ponders the question for a moment. "He's always said his greatest goal was to create life. I'm guessing he got tired of being alone with his work. Igor was his friend, but I think he needed more love in his death. That might be why he made you."   She tsks. "I think he just wanted a slave. And he didn't get what he wanted, either way." The skeleton looks like he wants to disagree with her, but doesn't. He rubs the back of his skull and passes her a look. "I guess he didn't...I suppose that's what he deserves for treating you like this, after all." "It serves him right." She concludes with a firm nod. The smile returns to his face as he shakes his skull to the side gently. The pumpkin sun is getting ripe in the sky. Afternoon is approaching. Sally wants to take advantage of this time. He's the one who suggested being together like this again, so she isn't going to bore him with sitting here and staying quiet. He's always so informative - maybe she can learn some more out of their session today? She'd love to ask about Halloween, but ever since the topic of the Doctor came along, she can't get her mind off of it. She unknowingly plays with her hair again as she pries once more. "Was he ever nice, before I came along..?" "Oh, Sally, he's always been a good man. Some of the things he said were unpleasant, but he's honest about everything. That's usually what comes with being around for so long; you call it as you see it. People were distant with him, but I always found his intelligence to be inspiring." "Inspiring?" "Believe it or not, I used to hang around his lab often when I was younger. It made me want to do science. I couldn't get anywhere with it, being the Pumpkin King and all, so it's just a hobby of mine nowadays. But the Doctor was who inspired me to try it out in the first place." She listens to the story, trying to picture a younger Jack. Was he shorter? Thinner? It was hard imagining him as a child or anything but an adult. He notices her silence and picks up his story, getting her attention again as he motions around with his bony hand. "The Doctor is a smart man. He's just grumpy after being around for so long. The dead kind of get tired of being dead." She frowns and brings her knees closer to her chest. "He can be nicer to me if he tried..." "I don't mean to be the devil's advocate here, but try and put yourself in his shoes. If you created someone you loved, but they didn't feel the same and poisoned you all the time, I think you'd be a little disgruntled yourself." "I hadn't even thought about that." She presses her finger against her chin. He waits for a moment or two until she shakes her head again. "-I still don't want to go back, though." He laughs. "You really are something, aren't you?" Her cheeks burn while the thudding in her chest beats intensely. She feels tingly with these emotions again...she attempts to distract herself from these feelings with another question. With all of this information he's giving her, she can only assume he and Finklestein have known each other for a long time. And if that's the case, what kind of relationship did they have? The Doctor looks at him highly, but the two act like they've known each other their whole death. There must be something about them that she doesn't know. "Were you two close friends?" She asks. "He's more of an old idol of mine. We've spent a lot of years watching the town grow. We used to partner in experiments, but I haven't done those in awhile. It's hard to keep in touch when he's all the way out of town." "But you stay in touch with me." She points out. "You even invited me to meet you here again." "That I did, Sally." He admits. "That I did." She gently lifts her legs down and plays with her hands. "It's nice to know a little more about him...he doesn't open up to me. Back when I wanted to know, of course." "Do you two talk a lot?" "No. I'm too busy doing what he wants, and even then he tells me not to interrupt him with his work. I'm not interested in what he has to say, anyway. I'd rather talk to you." She looks at the skeleton with a hopeful smile. He returns it, and she finds he's getting more adorable every time she compliments him. She can see the way his shoulders move and the way his stitched smile stretches. She thinks it's very flattering, and wants to see it more. To push her shy boundaries so she can see him, even for a moment, flustered - to fill her hopes in which he may reciprocate what she feels. "I enjoy talking with you. I really should visit the Doctor's more often...A chat every now and then doesn't hurt." He pauses before adding, "-You can try it with him, too, you know. Get his attention by complimenting him." She cringes. He notices her look and rolls his eye sockets. "-I still think it's ironic how the man wants to marry you, but you two know nothing about each other. What would you even do if you were married to him?" She bites her lip nervously. "I don't think he'd appreciate me seeing you, for one..." He looks troubled at her response. "I'm sure I'd have wanted to see you anyway, even if you WERE courting him...You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?" She notes, right away, the apprehension in his voice. She hasn't noticed, however, the way his posture stiffens and the worried expression spread on his skull. That he truly does believe, for a moment, that she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him if she was already committed to someone else. "Of course I would..." He sighs in relief. "That's good to know." She thinks more about his words. There is no possible way she would ever consider courting the Doctor. He treats her badly and she isn't interested in him. He's very different from Jack. She's already at terms with her feelings for him, which means she loves him and no one else. Even if he doesn't quite feel the same about her...Her eyes travel to the skeleton frowns. Does he even like her? He's giving hints of slight fondness, but the impression he gives elsewhere is different. There's still the possibility he's courting someone else - but why make a big deal of her being with Finklestein if he was? She doesn't know what to think. "Well, I don't want to take up too much of your day." He suddenly stands beside her, noticing the sun burning high in the sky. "I'm sure you have other things to do besides talking with me." I don't, she wants to say, but instead winces. "I..." She corrects herself and fakes a smile. "-I want to thank you for doing this with me, again. And telling me all of these things I don't know." "That's partially why I'm here, isn't it?" He leans down and offers a hand to her, which she takes and lets him help her to her feet. "I'm just letting you know you're welcome to be curious around me." She flattens down her dress modestly. "Yes, that's true. But I still enjoy your company. As...a friend and all." The end of his stitched mouth falls for a second, but rises the next. He nods and starts climbing down the hill, constantly checking behind him to see if she's following. He doesn't understand this sudden feeling of doubt - of course she'd follow him. Why did he get so much uncertainty after that last question? What could possibly be bothersome about the idea of Sally being committed elsewhere? "Shall I walk you back to Finklestein's?" He asks, ridding these thoughts right away. She waves it off. "Oh, no, I'll return to him later." "Are you sure?" He presses. "He seems quite upset. I could make up an excuse for you if we went now." "No, I'm fine." There it is again. That feeling of doubt - or something along those lines. The skeleton's hand clenches as he returns it to his side, and looks around in thought. The sky is now a healthy orange, but he isn't so much as concerned with the time as he is with...finding what to say. There's plenty he can talk about with her, but the matter was feeling right about it. To discuss marriage and the Doctor...and an uncomfortable combination of both... "Can we do this again?" She asks. "I'm quite enjoying it..." He looks down at her and smiles. She wants to see him again? That's...incredible! And he knows for certain that he feels the same. His talks with her are the highlights of his day! He mentally works through the calendar in his head and thinks of when would be the best. A puzzled look suddenly comes across his skull. "I'm busy the rest of this week with a little more planning." He admits, rubbing the back of his head. "But if you'd like to meet back here Tuesday, I can do that." "Tuesday." She repeats. "That's fine." He grins at her. "You don't ever seem to have any prior engagements, do you?" "I don't talk to anyone much besides you," She rubs her arm. "The Doctor just wants to keep me home, so I can sneak away any day..." He turns around and climbs down the hill to approach the gates. He goes to leave the graveyard, but stops to glance over his shoulder. She is still where she is, watching him with curious eyes. He turns around completely to face her but keeps one hand on the gate. His mind suddenly processes over what to say...he knows it should be a proper goodbye or something meaningful...why else would he hesitate for this long? He'd have already left if it was anyone else. "I'm sure the Doctor misses you." He suppresses the burning in his throat. "And he cares about you, in his own way." "He sure has a funny way of showing it," He hears her mutter to herself. He chuckles and lets his grip release for a second. "If I were him, I'd never give you a reason to leave." Before he can explain himself any further, he leaves through the gates. She eyes his direction in complete awe. There is nothing but silence after his presence is gone. She shuts her jaw and looks around in thought, getting filled with many emotions all at once. She starts to feel tingly again and shifts her weight to her other foot. He is right. If Jack was the one she was supposed to be engaged to...she'd be euphoric! There is no doubt he'd treat her better than the Doctor ever could. He'd probably tell her sweet and gentle things. How much he loves her and how important she is to him...and he'd probably sleep with her and wake her up with kisses on her cheek. And then he'd make breakfast for her so she wouldn't ever have to leave the bed. She blushes at these thoughts and holds a hand to her lips. She can only dream...        

[highfivecalum]

The Bet {CH} 11

ooooof y’all get ready for this heartbreak

CLASS WAS a drag. It always was on Monday’s. You doodled all over the blank piece of paper that was supposed to be filled with notes. Your phone vibrated against your leg and you pulled it out of your back pocket to see who was texting you. You knew it wasn’t Peyton because she was in class as well and rarely ever used her phone in class and you knew it wasn’t Michael because he got drunk and dropped his phone in a puddle and broke it.

A smile made its way on your face when you saw the text was from Calum. You had talked and hung out nonstop since the night he slept at your house and you felt yourself falling for him harder. It was scary, sure, but you felt a little bit better about it since Calum liked you just as much as you liked him. Or that’s what you thought.

Cal: come over after class?

You quickly replied, letting him know that you would be over after class, and continued to text him for the rest of the class, which was only an hour. You packed up your stuff and shuffled out of the classroom and started the walk to Calum’s house. It was only ten minutes away from the building your class was in, and the weather was great, so you didn’t mind walking. He offered to pick you up, but you so nicely declined.

You texted Calum to let him know that you arrived at his house and knocked on the door, but no one answered and he didn’t text you back, so you turned the doorknob and let yourself inside. You had been to Calum’s house a handful of times so you didn’t think he would mind you letting yourself in. “Hello?” You called out and got no answer in return.

You walked up the stairs and turned the corner to Calum’s room, but stopped when you heard Calum and Ashton talking. About you. You had heard Calum say your name and you weren’t sure what he was talking about, or why he was talking about you, so you stood outside of his door and eavesdropped. You knew you shouldn’t have, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“I just- I don’t know Ash. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” You heard Calum sighed and you furrowed your eyebrows. What wasn’t supposed to happen? You continued to eavesdrop, not thinking it would harm anyone or anything, but you were wrong. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for her. This was just supposed to be a stupid bet and now, fuck, now I like her way too much.”

You pushed the door open completely to see Calum sitting on his bed and Ashton on the desk chair spinning around. They hadn’t noticed you yet so you made yourself known and braced yourself for what was to come. “I was a bet?” You barely whispered, your voice cracking in the process, and you cursed at yourself for crying. Calum’s head shot up from looking at the floor and his eyes widened when he saw you standing there. Your own eyes wide, jaw slack, and your eyes glossy.

“Y/N,” Calum jumped up from his bed and stalked over to you, but backed away, your shouldering hitting the doorway, before running down the stairs and out of his house. “Y/N, wait!” He followed you outside and grabbed your hand to stop you. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Oh, really? I wasn’t supposed to hear?” You laughed humorlessly. “You don’t fucking say!”

“Please, just, let-let me explain. Please.” Calum begged. He would have dropped to his knees and begged for your forgiveness if that’s what it took to get you to listen to him. To let him at least explain. He didn’t expect you to forgive him, but he wanted you to give him a chance to explain.

“Explain what, Calum? I was a fucking bet! What else is there to explain?”

“I-”

“What exactly was the bet, Calum?” You asked. You were curious, honestly. You wanted to know everything, even if it hurt you even more, you just wanted to know. Calum gulped and stayed quiet, just staring at you and how distraught you looked. “What was the fucking bet?”

“I-It was- fuck, okay,” Calum stumbled over his words and you stood there, an expectant eyebrow raised as he tried to find the right words. “Ashton and Luke bet that I couldn’t get you to sleep with me in a month. If I lost I had to pay them two hundred dollars and if I won they paid me.”

“Two hundred dollars?” You scoffed. “That’s all I’m worth?” Your bottom lip quivered and you tried hard not to cry, but it was hard not to. Finding out the guy you were slowly starting to like more and more, almost love even, was only with you because of a bet really hurt. Who wouldn’t cry? “Is that all this was to you? All that I was to you? A bet?”

“What? No! Of course not.” Calum exclaimed. He didn’t blame you for thinking that, but he really, really wished that you didn’t. “Did you not hear me tell Ashton that I like you? After hanging out and being around you so much, I really fucking like you, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I heard you, but how the hell am I supposed to believe that? This whole thing, us, it was just a lie, a fucking bet, Calum!” You let the tears fall freely, not even caring about trying to be strong anymore, the realization hitting you much harder the more you said it and reminded him.

Calum was still holding onto your hand, hoping that you would stay, but when you yanked your arm out of his grip and furiously wiped the tears off of your cheeks, Calum knew that you weren’t going to stay. He knew that he fucked up beyond belief and he wished so badly that he could turn back time and prevent any of this from happening. “Y/N, please, don’t go. Please let me make this up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up. It was a bet, a lie, and it wasn’t real. There’s nothing else to it, Calum.”

That was a lie. You knew it and he knew it. It was real to you, there was more to it, but you couldn’t admit that you had fallen for him so hard and so fast when the only reason he even talked to you in the first place was to get into your pants and win two hundred dollars. You were humiliated and the only thing you wanted to do was get away from the guy that made you feel that like.

“It was real, Y/N. You know it was real.” Calum pleaded. “It wasn’t just a bet for me. Well, it was at first- but now? Now it’s real.”

“Even if that was true; how do I know you’re not lying to my face? How am I supposed to trust you, Calum?” Your voice was stronger than you felt and you hoped that maybe, just maybe, Calum couldn’t see how badly you were hurt. Calum stayed silent because he knew you were right. How the fuck were you supposed to trust him after that? After finding out you were a bet? “That’s what I thought.”

Without another word from you or Calum, you stormed off, leaving Calum outside watching you walk away from him and walk out of his life. He knew he fucked up and he didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t sure he could.

You didn’t go to your apartment, instead going to Peyton’s dorm, since you needed your best friend. You didn’t cry the whole walk to her dorm, which you were proud about, but once she opened her door for you and you swung your arms around her shoulder, all the tears came falling down.

“What happened, Y/N/N? Why are you so upset? What’s going on?”

You pulled away and wiped your tears away, only just noticing that Luke was sat on Peyton’s bed in nothing but a pair of jeans. He looked at you, frowning when he saw you crying, and then all the guilt that he was pushing aside came forward. He knew you were crying because of Calum and because of the bet.

He wasn’t sure how he knew, he just had a feeling that was the reason.

“It was a bet.”

“What?”

“Me, Calum, everything. It was a fucking bet, Pey.” Your voice cracked again.

Peyton turned to Luke, who was looking guilty like one would expect, and she narrowed her eyes at him. She could have kicked his fucking ass. “Did you know about this, Luke?”

“I-uh. Yeah I did.” He admitted and Peyton’s blood boiled. “But it wasn’t my idea! It was Ashton’s idea.”

“I don’t give a fuck whose idea it was!” Peyton yelled at him. “You knew about it and you knew Y/N liked him and you just let it happen! You’re just as guilty even if it wasn’t your idea. Get out, Luke.”

“But Peyt-”

“Get the fuck out, Luke!” You had seen Peyton mad before, but this was a whole new level of mad for her, face red and eyes filled with fire, kind of mad. Nobody fucked with her friends, especially you, so it didn’t matter that she was actually starting to like Luke for more than just sex, if he was even just partly responsible for you getting hurt, she was going to kick his ass to the curb.

Luke got his clothes on and gathered his stuff, but before he left, he apologized to you. You didn’t accept it, and Luke didn’t expect you to, but he knew he needed to apologize, which you appreciated. You laid down on Peyton’s bed and exhaled a shaky sigh. You didn’t want to cry anymore, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“I can’t fucking believe him!” Peyton went on and on, calling Calum every name in the book, and paced across her room. You knew she was thinking of a way to get back at him, even though you didn’t want her to, but you knew she would. “And fucking Luke was in on it the whole time and didn’t say a word! What an asshole.”

“I know you like him, Pey.”

“I can’t like him! Not anymore, at least. I can’t like somebody who is friends with somebody that placed a fucking bet on you, Y/N! You’re my best friend that would be like, betraying you. Whatever Luke and I had, it’s just it’s over with.”

You didn’t bother arguing with her about it, you didn’t have the energy to argue, you just wanted her to play with your hair while you rested your head on her lap and cried, like you did every time you had a breakup or boy troubles. Peyton let you cry to her about Calum and she felt herself wanting to cry, too. She knew you liked him more than you had liked anybody before and she was sad because you were so sad and she hated seeing her best friend in the whole world sad over a guy that didn’t deserve you.

“I’m going to kick his fucking ass!” Michael shouted as he slammed Peyton’s door shut. You figured Peyton texted him to let him know what happened and you were glad she did so you didn’t have to. You opened your eyes to see him standing there with a frown on his face at the sight of you. Michael wasn’t one to fight, he hated physical contact like that, but he was willing to beat Calum’s ass for hurting you. You gave him a sad smile knowing that you wouldn’t be able to muster up a real one. Michael had actually gotten to liking Calum, he thought he was a cool guy and all, but after finding out what he did to you, he hated him.

“It’s okay, Mikey.” You mumbled even though you all knew that it wasn’t really okay.

“No it’s not okay!” Michael huffed and plopped down on Peyton’s bed. He lifted your legs up and let them rest in his lap and you felt a small, miniscule, smile tugging at your lips. You were glad you had two best friends that loved you and would drop what they were doing to come to your aid. With Peyton and Michael by your side, maybe losing Calum wouldn’t be so hard after all.

❀❀❀

Taglist: @babylonshood @mysticalhood @friendly-neighborhood-michelle @peyton5sauce @honeycombcal @my-world97 @lukesflaredpants @backstreetbarakat @tothemoonwithclifford @grreatgooglymoogly @therainydays4 @lukespenguin-97 @lifeakaharry @akacalciumhood @ashtxns-hxe @rexorangecouny @fivewachinessos @visioninwords @pancahke @monster-among-michael @calumhoodslays @wantirwinback @cartiercalum @sumlariss @calumsbabydolll @juliabrghs @shawnsbooties @whosash @insecuritieeseatmealive @ashtonwahs @hopelessxcynic @werealrighthough @trinitychico @ghostofhood @comingcalum @calistajs @sleepysavya

[softbookboi]

Lovesick Schoolgirl (a snowbaz fanfic) Chapter 2

Summary: Baz is sitting in class and starts doodling all kinds of Snowbaz stuff in his notebook. When he’s snapped out of his musings and realises he’s doing it, he starts blushing. And then - curse his luck - the teacher calls on him to answer a question. He just starts blubbering and stammering and since Simon is there, its even worse. After class, he’s visited by Simon before he can sneak off to their room to take a nap and Simon insists of Baz telling what he was writing in his notebook because he thinks that Baz is plotting something. Baz refuses but Simon grabs it and before he’s able to open it, Baz lights it up on fire and then watches it burn to ashes. After Baz leaves, Simon becomes hell-bent on figuring out what was in that notebook.

Simon

I tell Penny everything. She thinks I'm crazy.

"Simon," she says, emphasising my name. "You're acting irrational. How am I supposed to know that Baz really created a huge scene in class? And what if he really was just taking notes? How are you so sure that it was a plot? Maybe he just remembered something. And he was obviously just taking notes!"

The students on the tables surrounding us look over as Penny practically yells at me. I look down bashfully, embarrassment taking over me. She sighs, apologising and then turns to me again when the students are back to their own business.

I actually didn't tell Penny everything.

I didn't tell her about what I felt when I looked at Baz. I don't know how she'll react and I don't wanna lose her. She's my best friend. She won't object to me being gay, but she probably will object to me having feelings for my worst enemy (or worst crush).

But I'm not sure. I'm just scared. This is all so weird and so new yet all so familiar. And it's moving way too fast. I only had the revelation an hour ago of Baz, and I'm still not that sure. (That's a lie. While telling Penny, I kind of realised that I was being really creepy and obsessive and I had done these types of things before so it makes the perfect sense.) (I'm done for.)

The thought of feelings for someone isn't new to me. I had feelings for Agatha. But Baz? That's different. One, I'm going to have to think about my sexuality. (But that will be later. I need to focus on more important matters right now.)  

Two, I had feelings for Agatha since about a few years ago, but it all fizzled out eventually. I even knew that before I knew about my feelings for Baz. I knew it while me and Agatha were dating. I wanted to break up with her, but I felt like it would be too mean and I didn't wanna lose her as a friend, so I didn't. Until she broke up with me. She said the exact same words that I would've said if I were the one dumping her. So I guess we both wanted to break up, but didn't have the courage to do it.

Three, this is Baz we're talking about. My arch-nemesis. The one I'm supposed to battle before I battle the Humdrum. I'm getting used to the idea of it being Baz a bit, but it's obvious that it can never happen because he hates me. He literally tried to feed me to a chimera in 3rd Year. Of course he hates me. He would never have feelings for me. And even if he did (which is impossible), we'd have so much stuff standing in our way. The Mage. The Old Families. Politicks. Politicks wouldn't let us be together. They would make our life hell. I'm willing to fight them, fight for our rights. Because they don't get to control us. We shouldn't be their pawn. But Baz. I don't think he'd try that. (Of course, that is if he had feelings for me.) I would. I've had feelings for Baz for a long time, even if I didn't realise it. That has to mean something.  

Four, didn't he like Agatha? He tried to break us up for years and even subtly flirted with her. But ever since he had broken up, he kind of forgot about her. He hardly ever glanced her way and didn't really chat with her. He just...forgot about her. And I'm pretty sure that Agatha liked him. She blushed whenever he would look at her or talk to her. I don't really know how she feels now. Ever since we broke up, we just stopped hanging out. She stopped sitting with us and talking to us. And she even goes out of her way to avoid us now. I think it's because she probably thinks that Penny and I are dating now. We aren't, though. We're best friends. She used to think we liked each other. I think that's another reason why she thought we should break up.

Right now, even though I know that I like Baz, I'm still not sure that he isn't pulling something. There actually is a chance that he might be plotting, and getting me to fall for him is a part of his plan. (But I don't think he'd do it willingly though. If it is a plot, then I think that the Old Families might have told him to do that even before he came to Watford. Baz isn't necessarily a horrible person. He is a git. But..a not-so-bad git. Like if he ever liked someone or were friends with someone, he'd still be really snarky and sarcastic, but he would be a good friend too. I don't know if I'm making sense. I'm not good with words.)

If he is plotting, then I need to know. Desperately. Because that is bad. Really bad. Now that I know that I have feelings for him, he could easily use that to his advantage, to make me weak. Willingly, unwillingly. And that look I got from him in class. That affected me. More than it should have. So I need to know if he was planning something like that so that I can be prepared and not fall for whatever he's trying to pull.

I need to know that he isn't planning to make me fall for him and then break me before I actually fully accept these thoughts. Before I go around lusting after him and having daydreams and shit. Before I allow myself to actually think about what will happen next. (I won't be able to fight him. I was never able to fight him, I just thought I wanted to because that was a way to cope with these feelings I hadn't realised before. But now I really can't.)

But how do I explain this to Penny without actually telling her everything? I won't lie to her, she's my best friend, I wouldn't do something like that.

And this time, she actually seems done with my shit. I can practically see the fume coming out of her ears from frustration at my doings.

Can I do this without Penny? No. No, I can't. I don't know how to find these type of spells. How to find the correct one for this. And they're really old and most of them are illegal too. I need her help with this.

I'll have to tell her. I'm going to have to tell Penny. Merlin. When I stepped into the dining hall, I didn't think that I would have go explain everything to Penny. I'm totally unprepared. I just thought she would disapprove but still help me. That's what she always does. I just assumed that's what she'd do now too. I didn't think that she'd probably had had enough.

I guess it was wrong of me to think that. Penny's a person too. I can't just use her for myself.

I take a deep, shaky breath, trying to prepare myself for this impromptu confession. She looks at me while sporting a puzzled expression. She already knows that I have something big to tell her. She's smart and since she knows me very well, she can tell that this must be big for me, so she's just sitting there. She's allowing me to take my time, not forcing me to tell her right now.

"I-I'm not sure that he's actually plotting something, but...I just-I really need to know. It's important. I can't risk it."

My voice wavered at the last sentence, and I avoided Penny's eyes. I couldn't get myself to tell her the whole thing unless she didn't ask. And I know that she's going to ask now.

Her hand creeps up on mine, grabbing it and squeezing softly, reassuringly. I know she has a sweet look on her face now, that shows that she's not pushing me to tell her anything.

"Why do you need to know, Simon? Why can't you risk it?" She says this in a really small voice, so as not to let anyone let anyone else hear what I'm about to say. I stay quiet for a long time, and finally, muster up enough courage to look up and start talking.

"I think I have feelings for Baz. Romantic feelings. I think I'm gay. A-and...in class...Baz looked at me when he was stammering. And we had this-this look. This kind of soft look. And awed too. And I just realised that he can easily use this to his advantage. But before I start accepting all of this, I need to know that this isn't some plan. And...I haven't worked out my sexuality yet. I just figured that I could do that later. And I know that we can't ever happen...but Penny, my feelings for him seem strong, and I just-I just can't risk anything like that. I'm the Chosen One. I can't be heartbroken over something like this. And I...I'm sorry."

I don't know what I'm sorry for. I just felt like I like I had to say it. Had to. That it was important. That I had somehow let everyone down by liking Baz because goddamnit, I'm not supposed to. I'm supposed to be worrying about saving everyone from the Humdrum, not falling in love with my enemy. This was just...I don't know.

Penny had this unreadable look the whole time. I couldn't tell what she was thinking and I still can't now. I'm looking at her warily, scared of her reaction.

Finally, she breaks into a soft smile and says "You don't need to be sorry, Simon. No one can control who they love. That's the heart's job. And don't think that just because you're supposed to finish off the Humdrum that you shouldn't have a normal life like any other 18 year old. You deserve to do all those teenage things too. And having feelings for someone is normal and not something you should be ashamed of. And...as for Baz, I kind of already knew you had feelings for him. Not knew, per say. But had a hunch. You were always obsessed with him and talked about him all the time. And you sometimes even indirectly told me that you thought he was good-looking. And honestly, it's not so bad that you have feelings for him out of all people. Sure, politically speaking, it would be wrong. But politicks don't matter. It's what you want. You shouldn't let some other person tell you who you can and cannot love. That's despicable. And I don't think your love for him is as unrequited as you think. He might like you back. And...I'll help you look for a spell. I understand that you're feeling very vulnerable right now with this new information. But I also just want you to know, liking the same gender doesn't make you a bad person. Liking your arch-nemesis doesn't make you a bad person. Love is love. It can happen anytime, anywhere with no explanation. And I think that if you and Baz were friends or more, you would really hit it off. You'd be good with each other."

I love Penny. I love her so much.

She's so understanding of everything and she helped me with my feelings a lot too. Before, I was thinking tat I shouldn't have had feelings for Baz, out of all people. That it was wrong. But now I'm seeing it better. She's right. You can't control who you love. It just happens. And being the Chosen One (I really hate that name) doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a life of my own except for fighting the bloody Humdrum or his 'workers'. And she's okay with me liking boys (and girls, I'm probably bisexual). She's so right. I can't believe I have her as my best friend. I'm really blessed.

Although, her use of the word 'love' didn't go unnoticed. I was about to correct her, but then I didn't.

I don't know why.

And I really don't think Baz likes me back. That's impossible. He's tried to kill me, for Merlin's sake. Of course, it's unrequited love.

And on another note, she knew?

She said so much stuff in her 'speech', but the "I already knew" part is the only one I can focus on right now.

"What? You knew?! You mean you actually knew? How? I didn't even know."

"You're not really subtle, Simon. As I said before, you were completely obsessed with him."

"Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that I like him. I could just be a little obsessed. Or have OCD." I argue, but she shakes her head.

"Believe me, Simon. You were obvious. Really obvious. In fact, I think that the only person who didn't know you had feelings for Baz was...well, Baz."

I just gape her, shocked. Wow. I was really that obvious? I mean, I knew I was quite trash at hiding my feelings or opinion about something, but I didn't know I was this trash.

Suddenly, I'm terrified that Baz knew about my feelings and that just makes me more thrilled to have Penny help me find a spell so I can know for sure what's going on.

I shake my head and just concentrate on eating, telling her that we'll do some research about that when she's free. She says she doesn't have any free lessons so we can just got to the library after dinner.

Penelope

I'd had enough of Simon constantly blabbing on about Baz and his 'plots'. (I'm pretty sure that he was never plotting something and that Simon was overacting.) I was wondering about when Simon would finally realise what he was actually feeling and him suggesting that we should look up spells to find out what Baz was 'plotting' just sent me over the edge. (I actually found that Baz shutting the notebook like that was suspicious, but I would never admit that in front of Simon. And Simon was probably exaggerating. He does that a lot when it comes to Baz.)

I was snapping at him and I felt really bad doing it. I was supposed to be a good friend, not lecture him and refuse to help. But Simon was just being too unreasonable.

At least, that's what I thought before he told me everything.

I could tell it was hard for him to tell me. And I knew that whatever he was gonna say was important. So I patiently waited.

From his facial expressions when he was telling me everything, I could tell he was really insecure about that. He didn't mention a lot about liking boys, so I think that he doesn't have that much problem with that, which I'm glad for. But I could tell he was feeling insecure about all those other things, and he shouldn't.

I meant what I said. I think Baz reciprocates his feelings but I'm not sure. I always catch him subtly watching Simon just as much as Simon talks about him. But there is a good chance that he might not.

I think that Simon really shouldn't care about politicks. Not because I don't like the Mage, but because it's true. The Mage and the Old Families are using Simon and Baz as a pawn in their own game of hatred. I truly think that Baz and Simon would've really hit it off together. They could've become more than friends. But alas, the politicks had already plagued Baz's mind, so he refused Simon's friendship. (At least, I think that's the reason why he didn't take Simon's hand.)

Simon starts bickering with me about how I knew about his feelings before he even knew them. If only he could've seen himself.

I agreed to help him after dinner and that's why right now, I'm sitting in the library on the most far off table with Simon, reading old and ancient books on spells.

We've been sitting here looking for a spell that might help him find out what Baz was writing for a few hours now and have turned up with nothing. Well, not nothing, exactly. We did find some spells on reversing the damage done to the object, but they required much more data and objects.

For example, we found one where the notebook could be put together, but we need a strand of hair of the owner of the notebook and we also need a bit of his blood. And another where the owner of the notebook has to be in the exact spot where they previously were when they demolished the book in some way.

Simon and I agreed that these were all too much work. So now we're trying to find a spell that'll be much easier and won't require anything too hard to retrieve. And will be legal.

It was really hard to find spells that weren't illegal but we managed to find a few. But they were all too hard for me. They were all advanced level spells.

I'm going to have to be the one who spells the ash of the book because we're not sure that Simon will be able to do it. He already has trouble with the easiest spells because he can't control his magic, it would probably end up in a disaster if Simon spelled the ash and it backfired. We would have to explain to the teachers or even the Mage what we were trying to do and why we were doing it. That would cause a lot of trouble. And the news of what we were doing will probably spread through the school like wildfire. Everything spreads like wildfire in Watford.

It's very near to the curfew now, and the library is about to close too. I'm about to tell Simon this and that he should just pick up a couple of books and take them up to his dorm and read them there and I'll do the same when he emerges from the shelves with a thick, fat and ancient book while a grin covers his face from ear to ear.

"I found it, Penny! I found it!" he exclaims.

He drops the heavy book down on the surface of the table in front of me, on top of the book I was currently reading. He has a specific page opened that's titled "Fixing Spells". There are about 25 spells  which don't require anything but are still specific on the page. They're are different spells for different ways the object was broken or demolished. When I turn over to the next page, there are about 10 more there.

"Wow. Did you find the correct spell?"

He shakes his head. "No, but it shouldn't be that hard. I'll just go over them now." He smiles. "Thanks for helping me, Penny." I smile back and hug him.

"But you might wanna go over them in your room because is in about 2-3 minutes and we need to go before we get stuck in the library for the night."

He nods along and closes the book, sticking in a finger on the page of the fixing spells so as not to lose it and stands up, adjusting his jumper. I stand up too and we power-walk out pf the library just before the curfew ends and split paths when we're outside to go our separate ways to our dorms.

Simon

I'm really excited that we finally found some spells which will help me fix the notebook. I'm practically slipping over to the Mummers' House and praying that someone doesn't see me doing that.

I race up the stairs and before I walk in the room, I hide the book's title with my hand. (I don't want Baz knowing what I'm about to do.) But when I walk in, I don't see Baz in his bed and I don't hear the shower on in the bathroom, so that means he's not there. Probably draining rats down in the Catacombs or on late football practice. (They've started practicing until late at night to prepare for the big match in just a few weeks. They stay practicing late 3 days out of 5 schooldays in the week. It's Friday today, so they must be practicing right now.)

I put the notebook under the duvet on my bed and decide to take a shower since I don't have any homework to complete and I have some time to go through the book until Baz gets back.

As I strip off in the bathroom, I think about Baz. What was he writing in that notebook? Was he actually plotting my demise? That actually seems quite less likely now. Baz really doesn't seem like the kind of bloke who would make a plan to kill me and then proceed to blush and stutter about it in front of everyone.

I can't stop thinking about Baz in that classroom.

He was writing with such determination shining bright in his eyes, but his mouth was pulled into a sloppy grin. (That's another thing. Nothing Baz does is ever sloppy.) His chin was resting in his palm as he wrote and this one strand of silky, onyx hair kept falling onto his face. He kept pushing it away, behind his ear but it just kept stubbornly falling back. In the end, he just decided to leave it like that. His tongue kept darting put every few seconds to wet his lips and it stayed out for a few seconds before sliding back in. Every once in a while, he would run his hand through his obsidian, shining hair and shake his head as he continued writing. When he shut the notebook and stood up to answer, the blush adorning his cheeks and neck was positively adorable. I had never seen Baz like that and while others may have thought it was weird, I think that it was captivating. The red blossoming on him was matching perfectly with his sudden averting of eyes whenever he met someone's puzzled gaze and his repeated coughing and spluttering. He looked shy. (And also beautiful.) And that was definitely not like Baz.

Baz was more cocky and confident and walked into a room with his head held high like no one there was worthy of his presence. He was always full of himself and never doubted his answers on anything because he was smart and he knew it. And he always raised his hand in class with the correct his answer on his tongue without making himself look like a nerd. Baz looked cool whatever he did and he knew he looked cool.

Seeing him like that in class made me feel a little better about myself. Because maybe Baz isn't who he pretends to be. Maybe he's secretly a dork who reads fantasy novels late at night and blushes when his crush gives him attention and compliments and has insecurities like the rest of us too. Maybe he's just a normal human being who actually needs glasses because he reads in the dark too much and likes having his hair played with by someone he loves.

Maybe his bold and self-assured demeanour is a facade because he doesn't want to become a target for bullies and appear weak cause of his intensive insecurities and raging fears and lack of security because his mother died when he was just a babe and then he got Turned into one of those things who killed his mother.

Maybe he's not a villain, or whoever people make him out to be, just a boy. A boy who went through just as much as anyone else did, but has a different way of showing it.

I believe this.

Baz can't be a villain. He just can't. It's just not correct in this story. He's supposed to be the one person who went through so much shit that now they just don't know the true meaning of love. And then they find someone who also isn't perfect but shows them how to love. Shows them what real love feels like. How it feels to be loved.

Like me.

I know he doesn't feel anything but hatred toward me. He's done enough for me to know that. But how perfect would it be if he did. How amazing. How wonderful and spectacular and brilliant and phenomenal and magnificent.

I don't care what the Mage would say. And how the Old Families would react. I would just give this thing between us a chance. Because. . .

Because. . . I don't know. I don't know why I would do that. Because we both would like each other? No. Because we both would be perfect together? No, we wouldn't be. Because it would be the perfect cliche for a fantasy story? No.

I don't know why.

I just would.

I don't realise that I'm out of the shower and dressed until I'm sitting at the edge of my bed, staring off into space. I snap out of my reveries and look down at the book in my hands.

I shouldn't. I should wait until tomorrow, for Penny to do this. But I can't. I run off to my bag, grab the tiny purse that bas the ashes pf the notebook from it, and run back. I jump onto my bed, cross-legged, and open the book to the pages of the Fixing Spells. (I lost the page when I when I put the book under my blanket. I have to find it again now.)

When I finally find it, I start to go through the spells.

Not that one, not that one, not that one, not that one, not-yes! This one.

I finally find the one for 'burned' and read the passage underneath the spell.

Warning: This is an intermediate level spell. If casted wrong, it will burn the object more than it was before.

This spell is used to fix an object that has been burned. You will need the ash of the burned object and, for good measure, the owner to cast it. The object must be placed on a hard surface with no other item surrounding it, so that it doesn't backfire and burn any other thing in its way.

The object will not be fixed. This spell varies on what you want from it. When you’re casting it, you need to concentrate hard on what you want. For example, if it is a toy you want to fix, then think about playing with it when it is fixed.

What you specifically want is the thing you should be imagining in your head, and then, if all goes correct, the thing will be in front of you. It doesn’t matter what form it is in because the form won’t bother you. The exact thing you need will be right there, in front of you.

The spell is in Korean (Hangul) and you need to pronounce the words properly for the spell. Since the pronunciation has to be precise, the way to pronounce is written down below.

I’m quivering with anticipation at this point. I know I shouldn’t do this. I’ll probably mess this up somehow with my uncontrollable magic.

But I’m desperate. I need to know what Baz wrote.

I look at the actual spell, the words I need to utter. It’s quite hard to pronounce the words since they’re in another language so I try them first without my wand or any magic in my words.

Once I know that my pronunciation is precise, I work on my magic.

I need my magic to work perfectly right now. I can’t afford any mishaps.

I focus on getting my magic to my fingertips and I feel this light hum in my body as it does. Just like every other time I lose control, the hum is beginning to grow. It’s rapidly becoming stronger and stronger until I’m sure the people in the dorms next to this one can hear me and smell me. Smell the burning that’s my magic.

But this time, I don’t let it go.

I relax. It’s hard, but I do. The magic in me starts to settle. I don’t dare let it go any further than my knuckles. I let it return back to that light hum as I relax my whole body, my arms and legs and hands and head and my mind. The smell is gone now. Completely gone. I keep the rest of the stronger magic captive as I let the tiniest bit of magic travel over to my fingertips and leak towards the ash as I utter the incantation out.

“Bultaoruene.”

The words are soft and small on my tongue and as soon as I say them, I see a small glowing light start to emerge from my fingertips and glide on over to the ash and encircle it.

I imagine the notebook in it’s whole form. But then I imagine the page. That specific page where Baz was writing. I focus on that page. I keep it in my mind.

The light keepings glowing brighter and brighter, thicker and thicker, until there are waves of light all around the room.

I’m entranced. It looks beautiful.

I feel the magic move all around me. Feel the carefreeness feeling the magic gives off wherever it goes.  

I don’t think it was supposed to do this.  But I’m not sure, so I just keep going.

I keep thinking of that page.

The golden rays of brightness suddenly leave all nooks and crannies of the room and all come together at the top of the notebook. They all start circling each other, and a faint hissing sound begins to burn my ears.

They start to move quickly, and the sound grows. I’m confused as to whether this is my magic or the spell itself. But I don’t have time to dwell on it.

In one sudden burst of yellowish white and magickal particles and light whipping to cover all corners of the room and then slowly disintegrate, I see a huge wave of magic right above the notebook, taking the form of a notebook page  -  Baz’s notebook page -  and I see it.

I see what he was writing (or rather, doodling.)

Baz

I was on the stairs up to the Mummers’ House, near to the room when I felt it.

The magic.

My first thought was Snow. And that he was going off and kill everyone here. But it wasn’t that.

The feeling and the smell of magic was different.

It was still his magic, I could recognise that. But it was different. It wasn’t like when he was about to go off. It was like. . . him.

Just him.

Simon Snow and his magic.

His magic controlled.

Simon Snow and his marvellous magic being used to its potential, controlled.

I ran up the stairs.

I had never seen this before. There wasn’t a day when I saw him control his magic and still use it to its potential. And there wasn’t a day when I thought he could.

As I galloped (once again) up the stairs and stood right in front of the door, I was mesmerised.

There were these beautiful strings of magic and light coming and swirling about around me from under the door, illuminating the dark path from the stairs to the door. They were white with a bit of pastel yellow in colour and they felt like heaven. Actual, pure heaven. I felt like flying, like the whole world was just waiting for me to grasp. . . anything.

To grasp absolutely anything I wanted.

I felt like magic.

And I knew that this was Simon’s magic. Simon’s real magic.

Even though standing there felt like absolute bliss, I knew that something was definitely going on in there, something either horrendous or astonishing. So I knew I had to go in to make sure Simon was okay. But the magic wouldn’t let me leave. I was captivated. Captivated by its utter beauty.

But then, it started to move away. It moved back under the door into the room. I was too stunned to move and see what was going on. And before I could get my bearings, I heard a tiny hissing sound. And it was growing. My ears started to hurt from it and I had to cover them.

And then, all in a flash, it went away. The hissing sound ended, the light glowing inside the room that was visible through the cracks in the door vaporised, and I was left standing there as this wave hit me. The wave, as it passed through me, felt exactly like it had when I was surrounded by those rays of light.

I should’ve just turned back. I should’ve just left.

That would’ve been better. It wouldn’t have hurt and I wouldn’t have felt as much anger as much as I did, walking in that door and finding out what was going on.

But I did anyway.

And now I’m here, standing at the front of the room, door still opened, stunned the second time today, as I watch Snow read and look at everything I had written in my notebook the other day.

I watch as his eyes blow wide open in shock and he gasps, looking over at the tiny sketch of us kissing. His cheeks turn pink and he doesn’t even notice me standing there, gaping at him. His breath hitches even further and his cheeks redden more as his eyes flick over to every part of the page.

I hate him. I hate him so much. I hate that he pulled this. I hate that now, because of his stupid self and his stupid beautiful hair and stupid ordinary blue eyes, my secret is out. He knows.

I bet that was a spell. I bet he had Bunce help him look for that spell and then cast it to see what I was writing. I bet he hates me even more now. I hate him. I hate the world. I hate the fact that the universe played this stupid fucking trick on me.

I turn around to leave and slam the door in his face.

chap 1, chap 3 (last one)

[thelastspeecher]

64, Stan-at-home au :)

64. “Just don’t buy a goat.  I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

Send me a number and characters and I’ll write a drabble!

               “How much do thestraw-strawberries cost?” Ford asked.

               “Two bucks a carton,” Stanreplied.  Ford nodded and carefully wrotethe price down on the small chalkboard. He huffed when he was finished, frustrated with the shakylettering.  Someone put a gentle hand onhis shoulder.  

               “Looks nice, Stanford,” Angiesaid.  Ford shook his head.

               “No, it does-doesn’t.  But thank- thank you anyways.”  Ford grimaced.

               “Not pleased by that stutter,huh?” Angie asked.  Ford nodded.  To his surprise, his sister-in-law threw herhead back and laughed.  “Sounds ‘boutright.  Keep it up.  You’ll get there.”  Ford felt a slight tug at thechalkboard.  He looked down.  Danny and Daisy, his adorable twin nieces,were busily trying to grab the chalkboard out of his hands.  

               “Hello, girls,” Ford said.

               “Daddy needs th’ board!” Dannysaid firmly.  

               “What’s the magic word?” Angieasked.  

               “Please can we take it?” Daisyasked.  Ford smiled indulgently.

               “Certainly.”  

               “Yay!”  Danny and Daisy carried their loot over totheir father, who was setting up a trestle table a few feet away.  Stan ruffled his daughters’ hair, then setthe chalkboard on top of the table.

               Ifsomeone told me Stan was at a farmer’s market, I’d assume he was lost.  Or pickpocketing.  Not selling produce.

               “Yer marvelin’ at seein’ Stansellin’ fruits ‘n veggies at a farmer’s market,” Angie remarked.  Ford stared at her.  “I can tell when yer thinkin’ ‘bout myhusband’s behavior bein’ dif’rent from what ya expect.  Been tryin’ to come up with a name fer it.  Stan shock, maybe.  Like culture shock, y’know?”

               “…There are probably bet-betteroptions,” Ford said.  Angie nodded.

               “Yeah, it’s a work inprogress.  Daisy’s the one what’s goodwith comin’ up with things.”  Fordsmiled.  He was well aware of his niece’screativity.  

               Both ofthem are incredibly creative.

               “Anyways, I started up a garden‘bout as soon as we moved here,” Angie continued.  “I’m a farm girl, born ‘n raised.  Didn’t feel right to not have dirt under mynails.  It sort of spiraled out fromthere.  Helps that Stan knows ‘boutgrowin’ things ‘n sellin’ ‘em.  My folks did employ Stan as a farmhand, afterall.”

               “I’d imagine you nev-never haveunsold produce,” Ford said.

               “You imagine right.  He’s quite the salesman, that husband ofmine.  But the cute lil girls bouncin’ ‘roundthe stand definitely help.”

               “I would agree with thatassessment.”  Ford watched Dannymeticulously stacking tomatoes on the table, her head bobbing with the tune shewas humming.  Daisy was doodling on Stan’sleft arm with a marker she had found somewhere. “Danny hums while she does things. Like you-you.”

               “Hmm.  I s’ppose so.”  Angie’s tone carefully hid her pleasantsurprise at Ford’s observation.  Fordfought back a small grin of pride from impressing his sister-in-law.  A woman approached the stand.

               “Oh, my, did your daughterswrite the prices?” the woman asked.  The warmthin Ford’s chest was abruptly replaced with ice.

               “Doesn’t matter who wrote thesign,” Stan said gruffly.  

               “But it had to have been a child-”

               “Lady, drop it and leave,” Stan snarled.

               “But-”

               “Scat!” Stan bellowed.  The woman left with a disconcerted glance inStan’s direction.  Ford’s gaze dropped tohis feet.  

               “It really does look nice,”Angie insisted.  Ford shook hishead.  “It does!”

               “No!” Ford snapped.  “No, it doesn’t!  It looks terrible!  I- my handwriting took a shit, I can’t-can’t even speak properly, and I’ve forgotten myown-own name five times!”

               “Ya had brain surgery lastmonth,” Angie said firmly.  “Do ya haveany clue how incredibly fast yer recoverin’? It’s makin’ me wonder if yer part salamander, or axolotl, or somethin’.”

               “Because amphibians haveremarkable regenerative capabilities.”

               “Exactly.  Stanford, it’s been a month and a half.  Yer stutter’s almost gone!  It took me six years to fix mine!”  Ford stared at her.

               “You- you were-”

               “It was a long time ago,” Angiesaid softly.  “When I was a kid.  And don’t get the wrong idea; I ain’t jealousof ya.  I’m happy fer ya, to get over itso fast.  I ‘member what it waslike.  Ya know what ya want to say, butsomewhere between yer brain and yer mouth, the message gets confused.”  She sighed heavily.  “I know yer frustrated.  But ya don’t have to be alone in yerfrustrations.”

               “I-”

               “What is it with you Pines men?”she burst out suddenly.  Fordblinked.  “I have to hammer the samething into Stan’s skull every other week.  Ya don’t have to suffer on yer own, insilence.  Yer not alone!  What’ll it take fer you and Stanley tounderstand the concept of talkin’ to someone? When ya tell folks what yer goin’ through, they can help!”  She shook her head.  “Okay, I’ll stop yellin’ at ya.  I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, right afterthat woman said that.”

               “Speaking of her,” Stansaid.  He turned to Daisy, who was stillscrawling on his arm.  “Daisy, put her onthe banned list.  She can’t have FlowerTwins Produce any more.”

               “Got it!” Daisy said.  She rummaged around in the box they hadcarried cucumbers in.

               “Uh, Flower Twins Produce?” Fordasked.  Stan shrugged.

               “After ya set up a stand longenough, it’s nice to have a name.  Evenif ya don’t have much produce to sell. Came up with the name after the girls were born.  Angie was the one who thought of it.  Both the girls have flowers in their names,after all.”

               “Danica isn’t-”

               “Her middle name’s Viola,” Angieinterjected.  “That’s the genus violetsbelong to.”

               “I wanted it to be somethin’like Double-D, but Angie shot it down,” Stan said.  Angie frowned at him.  “Yeah, see, she still doesn’t like it.”

               “Done!” Daisy said proudly,slapping a piece of paper on the table. Stan beckoned Ford over.  Fordsquinted at the paper.  It was acollection of drawings, with scribbles resembling letters underneath eachone.  “Lady is banned.”

               “So’s pig, and bad dog, andsmelly man,” Danny informed Ford.  Fordnodded.  

               “I see.”  Ford glanced at the chalkboard again.  His heart sunk.  

               “If ya need a break, ya canwander off,” Angie said softly.  “There’ssome interestin’ stuff here.”

               “I-I overheard you say youwanted to buy some groceries here?” Ford said. “I could pick them up for you.”

               “Stanford,” Stan said, shakinghis head.

               “Seriously.  Don’t treat me like an in-invalid,” Fordsaid.  “I can help.  I should, given all you’ve done for-done forme.”

               “…All right,” Angie said.  She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocketand handed it to Ford.  “Get the thingson the list, but use yer best judgement.”

               “Just don’t buy a goat,” Stansaid.  “I don’t care what you do, just nogoats.”

               “You’re never going to let thatgo, are you?” Ford asked.

               “Sixer, I’ve woken up to a goateating my hair twice, ‘cause you bought that dang thing on a pain med-inducedbender,” Stan said flatly.  “I’m notgonna let it go.”

               “Do they even sell goats here?”Ford asked.

               “Doesn’tmatter.  You’re not gettin’ one.”

[tokyoteddywolf]

Fishy Feathers Chapter 3

Can’t stop won’t stop~💙

Pidge was minding her own business, collecting shells with her pod member and close friend Allura, when she saw something swoop overhead, a shadow cast across the water. Clicking in curiosity, she surfaced… and promptly had to duck because of the young Avian diving out of nowhere. “AAAAAAHH!!! SORRY!!!!” The young teen screamed as he careened away, wings flapping frantically to stay above the water. "Lance?!?” Pidge gaped, eyes wide as another Avian, an older male, she noted, swept in to lift her feathered friend away from the waves of the sea and back towards the sky.

Allura surfaced next to the stunned guppy, clicking worriedly. “Katie, you need to dive, I don’t like the looks of those Avians-” Pidge shook her head and started following the two sky high birdies. “No way, Allura! I’ve never seen an Avian fledgling having first time flying lessons before! This is so cool!” Allura took one look at those starry golden eyes and groaned, her friend a goner. Curse Katie and her uncontrollable inquisitiveness! “Ugh, fine, but I’m telling Matt and Shiro!” The white haired mermaid warned before diving away to do just that.

Pidge rolled her eyes and swam closer, circling under their swooping shadows overhead and squinting up at the sky, barely making out the two flying figures up in the clouds, one shaky and unstable, the other graceful and practiced. She knew better than to call out to her best friend, since this was an open area and she wasn’t dumb enough to let it slip that she knew this particular Avian. She settled for watching from below, cheering when he managed to stay up and fly straight and yelping with panic when he fell, groaning when he flapped wrong and went sideways and whooping when he performed a perfect loop.

She was having so much fun watching Lance fly that she didn’t notice when the other two Mermen appeared, until Shiro spoke up. “You seem like you’re enjoying that flying show.” Pidge practically leapt out of the water in surprise, spinning around to stare at the amused male Mer watching her. “Ah! Shiro! Matt! Uh, what are you, I mean why, um, I was just-” the guppy stammered, caught in the act.

Matt laughed. “Allura told us you were bird watching, so we decided to join you.” He swam closer and wrapped his bright teal colored tail around her own grayish green one in a greeting hug, and she sighed and hugged him back before pulling away to sit on the rock she’d been watching from, occasionally dipping back into the water when it got too hot and dry for her liking. Shiro and Matt surfaced as well, grabbing spots next to her and enjoying the sunshine.

Shiro’s deep black scales were quite unique, in the sense that while most Mer stayed solid colored with the occasional striped or spotted pattern, his faded from black around the upper area to a rich indigo at the tail fin. Plus he had faint speckles of white and purple scattered over it, his fins themselves a gradient from deep rich violet to dark near black blue. Such a pretty tail meant he was constantly being admired and praised, much to his embarrassment.

Matt was more simple, a solid shimmering teal with a fin gradient of soft green to a gentle gold. Pidge envied their tails, her own adult one still a mere 3 years away. She often wondered what it would look like, but shook off the thought and tilted her head back up to try and find Lance again. She face palmed with a groan when she found him spiraling out of control through the air, Matt and Shiro laughing at the goofy Avian. ………………………………… It was much later, during the evening, when she finally found him at the beach having a sand bath. She crawled on land to lay next to him, the sun warmed sand soaking into her belly and easing sore growing muscles. Guppies never stopped getting bigger, her mother always said. Smirking, she propped her head up on one hand and locked her eyes on the tuckered out birdy boy. “So, how were flying lessons?” She said casually, amused at the sudden embarrassed flush on Lance’s face.

“Ugh… my wings feel like they’re gonna fall off.” Lance whined, digging the arches further into the sand. Pidge hummed and pushed some of the warmer stuff onto his wings, until they were completely buried in the grains. “I bet. I saw you flying over the sea earlier. Was that your dad helping you out?” The mermaid asked, but Lance shook his head.

“Nah, that was Uncle Lupè. He’s the top flyer in our family. Which also means he teaches all of us to fly when we come of age. Which also means he drives us relentlessly until we finally fly straight for more than ten minutes.” He groaned, Pidge patting his stomach sympathetically. “You put on a great show though! Two of my pod came to watch with me. It was pretty funny when you did that sideways spiral.” She snickered, much to Lance’s embarrassment.

“Ugh… I can’t wait for the tables to turn on you, my fishy friend. When you start shedding, it’s my turn to tease you about uncontrollable appendages.” The Avian pouted, shuffling his wings to free them from the now cooled off sand. Pidge huffed, frowning. “Oh yeah. Right. Scale shedding. My fins are supposed to get bigger while I shed… I can’t believe I almost forgot I’d have to relearn how to swim with my new tail and fins! If I thought Shiro was awkward after his scale shedding, just think about how it will look when I’m the one going too fast through the water, unable to stop?!” She covered her face with her hands and whined while Lance chuckled and started grooming the sand from his pinions.

"It’s sure gonna be fun to see, I’ll give you that Pidge!”

What’s this? Two chapters in one day? Preposterous! Blasphemy! Impossible! Yet here they are, defying logic ;3 here have some Pidge POV, Lance being a goof and finally some Shiro introduction! Even though there’s no Shance….. yet ;3 (Also, I doodled and colored what Lance’s wings and what Pidge’s tail look like in both chick/guppy form and Adult form :3)

[lonedailydoodle]

Daily Doodle 200/365 - July 19, 2017

Oh man.. I forgot.. Oh man.. Oh mAN

I CAN SEE SOUNDS!! AAAA I WANNA HIT THE GYM WITH A TRUCK AND LIFT A BUILDING!!

Today was a relaxing day for me, I wanted to sketch some stuff but my commissions are on hold as I’m waiting for feedback.. which I didn’t get today. Plus my wrist was hurting a bit, so I decided on playing Sims 4 for most of the day

Nothing much happened around the house, I just staying in my room playing. The game crashed on me a couple of times which made me get frustrated and stop playing, but I finally managed to get my Sims to move from a small apartment all the way to their own penthouse.. my Sims are Pixie and myself by the way, Pixie already mastered the music career and Lone is soon gonna master the painter career.. though I noticed Pixie’s career is like.. orchestral stuff, not the celebrity stuff from Sims 3.. oh well

Lots of grinding to do in that game indeed, but it’s worth it.. for a week..

Anyways, while I didn’t do much other than that and watching vaporwave mixes. I uploaded some art to my galleries and blogs and then decided to play again after dinner (Mmm quesadillas)

A game crash later and I had finished playing for the day

I hadn’t drank anything and didn’t want to drink any of the Jones soda my friend sent me as I want to make them last, so I opened the can of Monster that Pixie got me yesterday

Now.. Monster is an energy drink, and I only drank these when I was sleep deprived at the university. They made me a bit jittery and made me wake up enough to not fall asleep while driving home.. they also made me talk fast

Buuuut, I seemed to have forgotten that when I finished the can. When I finished it is when I though “Wait.. I should have not done that..”

Recently I’ve been completely sleepless.. Like, I cannot get tired or sleepy. Only time I got tired is after I almost fainted from donating blood. My body needed to regenerate that blood, so it wanted rest. I think the reason that I don’t get tired is because I don’t move much now, I mostly stay in my room and even though I go to sleep very late, I still usually wake up at whatever time I want as opposed to the 7am time I had to wake up every day for university. If I have to wake up early, it’s at 9am to be at Pixie’s at 10, but that’s enough sleep for me

Now, because I drank that whole long can of energy drink, I started feeling hot and my hands were shaky, I could hardly type, let alone draw. So I noticed I made a mistake. I thought it would be manageable and it would go away just fine like before but no.. it got worse..

I got a massive urge to just stand up and move. I tried to sit down and just keep using my PC but no, I needed to MOVE

I felt like doing exercise because of all this energy, maybe I could use it (Though that hardly works for me) I was moving everywhere

Mom suggested I take a cold shower, which I did and enjoyed.. but probably cuz my body temperature went up a bit and I could barely feel the cold water. I started jogging in the shower even!

Back in my room I still felt jittery but it was toning down until late at night where I was back to normal.. but now I’m sorta getting a crash.. I feel tired (Not sleepy) like.. my arms don’t want to move much and stuff.. I guess I’ll lay down and sleep now, but that was scary. I felt like Hammy from Over The Hedge drinking an energy drink

I’m always awake, but when I drank that, I was   W O K E

[creacherkeeper]

fitzmay coffee shop au

Faults and Faultlines 

3289 words 

post-framework. spoilers for 4x17 

A/N: EVERYONE GO WISH @agentcalliope A BIG FAT HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! my little sis, growing up so fast :’) 

read on AO3 

He thinks it’s Jemma that tipped her off.

He doesn’t mean to isolate himself. Really, he doesn’t. It’sjust a byproduct of not being on base anymore.

And, okay. Maybe he meant to a little. But would anyone really blame him? Did anyone even wanthim around, after everything that happened in the Framework? Jemma says heshouldn’t blame himself, but he does. He helped create it (in anot-as-roundabout-as-it-should’ve-been way). He helped create AIDA. He vouchedfor Radcliffe, when they brought him in. So, yes, it is (it is, Jemma) sort of his fault. And he didsuch horrible things there, things that hurt the team, people he cares sodeeply about.

So … isolation. Best policy.

This is his line of thinking, and he’s sticking with it.

It was just natural that he retire from SHIELD. At least fora little while. At least until everything settles back to normal. Until he canlook all of them in the face again. Until he can look his own reflection in theface again.

Jemma doesn’t like that he’s away. She’s just worried abouthim, she says. Worried about the path he’s going down. She knows trauma, shesays, and she knows isolation, and it doesn’t work. It doesn’t help.

(Even still—she’s gone back to live on base, for the timebeing. They just … need a bit of space, that’s all. And she wanted to be closerto everyone. He doesn’t hold it against her, he wouldn’t want to be aroundhimself right now either, not with everything she’d borne witness to. And she’sstruggling. A lot. More than she lets him see, he knows. Being around him justmakes it worse, but she still comes to visit, every so often. He doesn’t pushit.)

But Jemma knows his schedule, mostly because she’s the onewho made it (because she knows he’d just lie in bed all day if he didn’t have aroutine to follow), so it makes sense.

He gets up, takes a walk around the block, works on projectstill midmorning, and then goes to the little coffee shop down the street,usually 10:30 on the dot. He sits and has a cup of tea (which isn’t as good aswhat he can make at home, but it’s the ‘going outside and being around people’thing that made Jemma put it in) and people watches. Sometimes he draws. Eitherfuture designs or just little doodles. A lot of monkeys. They’re not very good.

He kind of hates it. He hates being out in the world. Hehates the chaos of the shop, all the people, the music, the smells and sounds.He’d much rather be at home. In bed, or watching TV. But apparently thatwouldn’t be ‘productive’ or whatever, and he’s trying to make an effort onJemma’s behalf, so he goes anyway. And sits, and watches, and draws, and justexists on this planet. This real, real planet.

But it’s definitely Jemma, he decides immediately, who toldher about this. Who prodded her into coming. Because why else would May bewalking into a coffee shop at 10:41 on a Tuesday morning, twenty minutes offbase, dressed in civvies?

He watches her, brows scrunched, pencil clenched tight inhis hand, as she makes her way up to the counter, orders a tea, and then hoversuntil it’s done. She doesn’t even look at him as she slides into the seatacross from him at the table, just blows over the steaming liquid and takes asmall sip.

He’s still staring, slack-jawed, as she scans over hissketchbook. “Cute,” she says, nodding at the page full of monkeys.

He pulls it closer self-consciously. “Wh-What are you doinghere?”

She raises her eyes to scan over his face instead, givinghim a pointed look.

“Jemma?” he sighs.

“She might’ve mentioned it.”

He raises a hand to scratch through his beard (Jemma hatesit, but honestly, why should he even bother shaving? It’s not like he’s seeinganyone regularly. And it makes him look different. Different to how he didthere, so clean-cut and groomed. He needs the reminder that he’s not livingthat life anymore.) “You really didn’t have to come.”

“Coulson won’t let me on missions still,” she admits. “Allthe therapy gets boring.”

Fitz snorts. “I hear that. Although, I didn’t know Coulsonhad to ‘let you’ do anything.”

A smirk crawls its way onto her face. “I like to let himthink he’s in charge.”

Fitz smiles, looking down. He swirls the tea that’s left inhis cup and takes a gulp, then grimaces. “Are- Are you here to ask me to comeback?”

“No.”

“Good. ‘Cause I’m not ready.”

“Okay.”

He looks back up at her. “That’s it? ‘Okay’?”

She shrugs. “Did you want more of a fuss?”

“No.”

“Good.”

He reaches up to tug on his ear, watching her as she sipsher tea and examines the baristas behind the counter.

“The girl in blue is cheating on her boyfriend.”

He blinks, surprised, and turns to follow her eye-line. Thegirl looks normal to him, just filling people’s orders. “How do you figure?”

When he turns back, she shrugs again. “Just have a feeling.”

“Five bucks says you’re wrong.”

A challenge glints in her eyes. “Deal.”  

-

She shows up again on Friday. He’s surprised, again, butmore pleasantly this time. (He’d missed her, okay? He misses all of them. He’sjust- He’s not ready to go back. He can’t. Not after all he’d done.)

“No new info about the barista,” he says as she slips intothe seat across from him.

She quirks an eyebrow. “Sure you’ve been paying enoughattention?”

He scoffs, indignant. “I am every bit the spy you are, thankyou very much.”

She huffs a quiet laugh, because they both know it isn’ttrue, but says nothing.

For a while they drink in silence. Fitz eventually has toput down his tea, because his stomach is rolling with something unpleasant andhe needs to get this off his chest. “May, I—” He sighs, looks away. “I need toapologize.”

“I think you’ve done enough of that.”

“Not to you I haven’t. I- I need to say I’m sorry. For how Itreated you there. It wasn’t right.”

He can see her watching him from the corner of his eye, buthe doesn’t look back at her.

“We were different people,” she says eventually. “Badpeople. Both of us. It wasn’t you.”

“I remember it, so it was me.”

“I remember doing a lot of bad things, too. So I should feelbad?”

He shakes his head. “It’s different.”

“How?”

Because you’re not me,he wants to say. But instead he doesn’t respond, and May doesn’t force him to.

-

She comes again next Tuesday. He wonders if that’s going tobe a thing, her coming twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays, like a standingappointment. He wonders if he should add that to the schedule, Tea with May. It’s kind of weird, if hethinks about it. But it’s nice, too. Even if she’s only doing this out of someobligation to Jemma.

“What’s this?” she asks as she sits down.

Fitz slides the file closer to her. “Just some new designs.I thought maybe Mack could … Is he back yet?”

May shakes her head.

“Oh.” Fitz nods, twiddles his fingers. “Then maybe- uh- oneof the other lab techs could take a look at them.”

“Why didn’t you give these to Jemma?”

“I- I didn’t know the next time she was coming over, so Ifigured …” He shrugs.

“She’d come if you called.”

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly, doesn’t say that that’s why hedidn’t call.

“Have you been working on improving the ICERs?” she asks,moving to take the folder and flip it open.

“No, no, it’s- uh—” He waves his hand as she looks throughhis designs. “Medical stuff, mostly.”

She glances up to watch him for a second, then nods andcloses the folder. “Okay. After Coulson looks over these he’ll make the checkout to—”

“No, it’s- it’s a donation. Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?”

“The apartment isn’t that expensive, and Jemma’s stillpaying for half, anyway. I’m good for a while, I don’t need the money.”

“If that changes—”

“I have options. I could … I could get a job somewhere.”

“Stark would take you in a heartbeat.”

He nods. “Or maybe just … just a repair shop somewhere.Something slow.”

“You’d get bored.”

He shrugs, and she considers him.

“Bored can be good,” she continues. “Bored can be safe. Itcan be okay, for a little while, until you get back on your feet.”

He nods, glad she understands. “I think I could use some‘bored’. I just feel … restless, I guess.”

“Have you been talking to anyone?”

“Besides you?”

“I meant professionally.”

He shakes his head. “Who would I talk to? I can’t tellanyone about this.”

“SHIELD has therapists.”

“I’m not SHIELD.”

“Not right now.”

“Maybe not ever.”

She watches him. “Do you really believe that?”

He sighs, scratches his nose. “I don’t know.”

“You could still talk to someone.”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “Not right now.”

“If you change your mind—”

“I’ll let you know.”

She nods, and then starts drinking her tea. He follows suit,and they drink in silence.

-

He doesn’t even realize what he’s done until she comes in.It’s only the next day, so he wasn’t expecting her. But the bell above the doorrings, and he glances up, and it’s her staring back at him, and all of a suddenit hits him what he’s done, who he’s drawn.

He looks back down, down at his sketchpad. It’s not a gooddrawing, not by any means, but the face is unmistakable. The nose, thesquareness of her jaw, the eyes looking back at him in graphite. By the timeMay sits, his eyes have already flooded with tears.

She looks at the drawing, looks at him, and doesn’t sayanything.

“I—” His throat works around the words, mouth bobbinghelplessly.

“Which one is it?” she asks.

He doesn’t know. His lips tremble, mouth gaped. It’s her face—but whose?

“It’s all my fault,” he manages, and feels two tears trackdown his face. “It’s- It’s all …”

May watches him steadily.

AIDA, or Agnes? He can’t decide, can’t tell. Does it matter?

“Fitz—”

He rips the page free from the sketchbook, crumples it, andholds the wad tightly in one fist, breath coming in shaky gasps. He tips downuntil his head is resting against the sketchbook, fisting his other hand in hishair, tugging until it hurts. His heart is hammering unsteadily behind hisribs. He feels like he’s going to be sick. This might be a panic attack, herealizes. He’s been having those lately.

A touch on his hand startles him, but not enough to look up,just enough to make his shoulders jump. May loosens the grip he has on hishair, and holds his hand between her own instead. He tries to focus on thewarmth of May’s hands over his, the coolness of the paper against his forehead.People are probably looking, but he tries not to think about that.

He just breathes, in and out, feeling his breath tickle hisnose as it curls out of his mouth, hits the paper, and rolls outward. Lets thesounds of the shop flow over him, the shuffle of newspapers, the beep ofcellphones, the clinking of mugs. Remembers that he’s not there anymore, he’snot that person anymore. She doesn’t control him.

Eventually, he settles. There are two wet spots on thesketchpad when he pulls his head up, and he stares down at them, sniffling, andthen wipes his cheeks with the back of his wrist. May lets go of his hand, andthen holds one of hers out. He deposits the sketch in her waiting palm, and shegets up and throws it in the trash. When she sits back down, she watches him,and doesn’t say anything.

“It’s all my fault,” he repeats, mumbling, not looking ather.

“If it was,” she starts, voice not giving anything away, “isthat something you’d be able to live with?”

“I don’t even know how,” he admits.

“You get up, get through the day, and then go to sleep. Thenyou do it again the next day. That’s all it means.”

“So … what I’m doing now.”

She nods.

He huffs out a sigh, rubbing over his face. “I- I don’t knowif there’s anything else I could do.I d-don’t know if I’d …” He trails off, gaze caught by a reflection of a cardoor on the window.

“I’m not saying you have to accept it, not yet. I’m notsaying you have to be okay. You just …” She shrugs. “Live.”

“And one day …”

“One day you might look back on this situation differently.Might think of yourself differently. But that doesn’t have to be now.”

“And until then—”

“You live.”

He nods, sighing again, finally glancing over to her face.“I don’t think I’m very good at it.”

“You’re still here. That’s enough.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“I know.”

“So … until I start thinking about myself differently, I-what?” He holds up his cup. “Sit around drinking tea?”

She tilts her head. “Or … you get off your ass and learn howto fly again.”

He realizes that they’re not just talking about him anymore(thinks that maybe they never were). Somehow, this is the thing that comfortshim more than anything else she’s said.

-

The next time she comes in, she’s carrying an envelope, sealedwith a cartoonish monkey sticker. It’s the first thing he notices when shewalks through the door.

He fidgets while he waits for her to come over. Obviouslyit’s for him, or she wouldn’t have brought it at all. The sticker rules out afair number of people who could’ve written it. If it was from Jemma, shewould’ve brought it to him herself. Which really only leaves …

He already feels sick when she sits down in front of him. Heshakes his head before she even hands it over.

“I don’t want that.”

“You don’t even know what it says.”

He considers that, lips twisting. “What does it say?”

“I don’t know.”

Grudgingly, he takes the letter. On the front is onlywritten Fitz, in Daisy’s unmistakablehandwriting.

While he’s staring at it, May asks, “Anything new about thebarista?”

He blinks, shaking his head, and tucks the envelope in theback pocket of his jeans. “No. But I think Joe, the owner, smokes pot. And Ithink the landlord is dealing it to him.”

“Should we bust them?” she asks, a little smirk coming toher face.

“Then they might replace this place with—” He scrunches hisnose. “A gym, or something. This is the only coffee shop in walking distance ofmy apartment.”

“There’s a pizza arcade a few doors down.”

He looks at her like she’s grown a second head. “I can’timagine you in an arcade.”

She leans back in her chair, takes a sip of tea. “There’s alot you don’t know about me.”

“Try me.”

“I could probably beat you in pinball.”

“I happen to be very good at pinball.”

“I happen to be better.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Let’s go right now.”

They do.

(She wins.)

-

“Have you read it yet?”

“No.”

She nods, says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that.

-

She comes in on a Wednesday, and she’s later than usual.It’s almost 11. He’d said to himself he’d wait until 11 on the dot, and then hewas opening it whether or not she came in. She sees the envelope clutchedbetween his hands, and comes and sits at the table without even ordering hertea.

He takes in a breath, lets it stutter out of his mouth, andthen opens the envelope, the sticker splitting in half. He takes out theletter, smooths it onto the table in front of him, and then reads, slowly, eyesscraping over the words as carefully as he can manage.

After he finishes, he reads it again, just to be sure.

She doesn’t speak as he carefully folds the letter back up,and lets it sit on the table between them, drumming his fingers over the paper.

“She—” He stops.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“She wants me back in her life. She says she’s forgiven mefor what happened and she wants to try and be friends again. How—” His browsscrunch, and he runs his hands over his face. “How has she forgiven me? I don’tknow if I could.”

May shrugs. “That’s Daisy.”

“What—” He looks at May, eyes wide. “What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

He looks away, fidgeting with the edge of the letter withhis thumb. “I could … I could invite her over to dinner?” he says, half aquestion.

“Yeah, you could.”

“I could make spaghetti. She loves my spaghetti.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“You do?”

She nods, and he nods back.

“Okay. Yeah, okay. This Friday night, maybe? Could you askher?”

“Sure.”

“You can- um- get your tea now. Sorry.”

She throws away his empty cup and orders two.

-

She comes in Saturday morning. She’s never come in on aweekend before.

“How’d it go?” she asks, once she’s sitting across from him.

“What did Daisy say?”

“I want to hear it from you.”

He sighs. “It was … hard. I do believe she’s forgiven me,but it still happened, and that stillmeans something. And anyway, I still haven’t really forgiven myself for it.”

“Things are going to be hard, at first. There’s no gettingaround that.”

“What did she say about it?”

“That it was hard.”

He nods, tries not to let it sting. “She- um- she made funof my beard.”

“Good.”

His mouth pops open. “Good?”

She nods, looking down at her cup, smirking. “It’s a terriblebeard.”

A disbelieving huff comes out of him, and he looks away,around at the shop, then back to her. “I- I can’t believe … You know what? Itake it all back. Everything I said. I’m not sorry. My beard’s not terrible—you’re terrible.”

May just keeps smirking, and Fitz stews. Eventually, shesays, “I heard you got a job at the auto shop.”

“Oh- Yeah. I start Monday.”

“I think that’ll be good for you.”

He nods. “That’s what I’m hoping.” And then he adds, “It’san afternoon thing, so I’ll still be here in the mornings.”

“Good,” she says.

He doesn’t ask if she’s still going to come around, becausehe already knows the answer.

-

“We were both wrong,” he says without preamble. He’s beenworking a few weeks at the auto shop, and he can tell it’s making a difference.He feels a lot better, being useful again. Doing something with his hands.

She hasn’t even sat down yet, and she pauses, hovering nextto the table, then sits. “About?”

“She’s not cheating on her boyfriend. She’s cheating on hergirlfriend.”

May sets her cup down, blinking. “I’m not sure where thatleaves the bet.”

“Settle it over a game of pinball?”

“Deal.”

(He feels like she’s going easy on him, but May still wins.)

(He doesn’t mind so much.)

[bluesakurablossom]

Life's Gift of Love: Miley's Love Story

Chapter 3 Sky's Pov... Banging my head side to side and my hips swaying, I listened to my favorite songs on my speaker as I cleaned up my work station. I dusted my shelves of paints as I spun around getting into the beat of listening to "Need Your Love by Shaggy" and I swayed towards my reclining chair and sprayed it with furniture polish and wiped it clean till it was all shiny. I straightened out my canvases of spin art work on my wall as the best part of the song came on and I began to sing along to it while dancing all around the room. I need your love, I need your love, I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love I need your love, I need your love, I need your I need your love, I need your love, I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love Let me love you o-o-o Wo o-o-o, wo o-o-o Let me love you o-o-o I need your love, I need your love, I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love I need your love, I need your love, I need your yes, mi amor I need your love, I need your love, I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love Let me love you o-o-o As I did a final spin leaning back singing the last line of the chorus, I stood up giggling but then without warning, a face was staring at me through my small window I had and I shrieked and fell backwards doing a flip on my chair landing on the floor with a thump. I quickly got up and looked over and saw Mikey staring at me with a huge grin. "Nice moves! You got groove dudette!", he said, with his voice sounding muffled behind the glass I quickly went over sliding the window open. "Dude seriously?! You scared the crap out of me! I thought I was going to have a heart attack!", I said, sounding a bit annoyed "Sorry", he said, smiling sheepishly "I didn't want to make anyone see or hear me, I thought you were alone, besides I got distracted by your dancing" I took a breath, knowing he didn't mean to do it on purpose and that he was only watching me. "It's okay, and sorry, I had no idea you were coming by down here", I said "I was in the neighborhood", he said "Just chilling out, I'm sorry I scared you" "Its cool, just let's make a further reference to make some kind of signal to let me know you are going to sneak up on me", I said, smirking "Yeah right", he said, rubbing the back of his neck sounding awkward "Here come on in, my boss just left and its just you and me", I said, walking back to my tray Mikey started to wedge his small but yet thick body in through the small window, wiggling like a worm trying to get out of the dirt. "Wait how did you even know where I worked?", I asked "Well it was the only tattoo shop that was on your block here", he said, craning his head to look at me "Mmmmmm point taken", I said, shrugging my shoulders nodding "Sorry about the mess I was just cleaning up my place by the time you had gotten here" "Nah don't worry you should see my room, its way worse than anything!", he said, jumping inside "I can imagine", I said, giggling He closed the window as he started looking around my work station. "Hey nice gig you got Sky! I love the street art", Mikey said, looking around "Oh thanks, yeah when I first got hired here we were allowed to design our own station how we wanted to", I said "I always saw graffiti all the time when growing up, so I used my artistic skills and made it look like graffiti, but the good kind that police wouldn't arrest you for" "Were you always this good? These are awesome!", he said "No surprisingly not, I stunk at drawing", I said, giggling "I was never any good at it" "Seriously? But it looks like you have been doing this all your life", Mikey said, surprised "Nope", I said, shaking my head "All my artwork was scribbled, slanted or just plain out messy. But I never gave up on it, I took art classes in school to improve till I got my tattooing license" "Well you certainly got quite an artistic view my friend", he said, sitting on my chair kicking back "Thanks, doodling in my notebook when the teacher did a boring lecture in class did bring in some extra practice", I said, cleaning a needle "That's something I would be doing if Leo gave us a boring lecture about the whole ninja thing", Mikey said, laughing "Oh? Who is Leo? A friend of yours?", I asked "He is actually my older brother", he said "I got three of them, I am the baby of the family" "That's cool, I wish I had siblings growing up", I said "They can be a bit of pain in the shell though", he said, shrugging "Got two of them fighting most of the time, and one that causes explosions from doing crazy experiments and using my stuff as test subjects" "Wow, not your typical siblings you would hear about", I said, surprised "Yeah but even though we do have our differences we still love each other deep", he said "Well that's always what matters", I said, smiling "No matter how crazy the relationship might be" "I wouldn't call it crazy, I would say its more insane", he said, snickering I couldn't help but giggle. "Well you are sure are lucky, that sounds better than having to do things by yourself all the time", I said, looking away "What do you mean?", he asked "I was kind of left to myself growing up, really kind of like the kid who had to grow up quick at an early age and take care of herself", I said, cleaning a needle with my rag "Why?", he asked, looking at me concerned I sighed and gulped hard, this subject was always hard to bring up to anyone, as I set my rag and needles down on the tray. "Because of my parents splitting up", I said "I was kind of forgotten in the whole process" "How come your parents split up?", he asked "I really honestly don't know", I said, shaking my head "It's just like one minute everything was okay and then the next moment it goes to shit" "Well that doesn't sound right", he said "Don't you still talk with your parents?" "Mom hardly anymore since every time we talk it always ends up in an argument and dad haven't talked to him since he left us", I said, shaking my head "That doesn't make any sense", he said "Just getting up and leaving like that" "You are telling me", I said, nodding my head I looked down and stopped with my cleaning with my rag. I stood still what seemed like an eternity until I finally felt myself moving, but it was small movement, my lip quivering. I then began to shake uncontrollably as emotions began to build up inside of me. "Sky?", Mikey said, worriedly I tried to put on a straight face as I looked up at him, trying not to make it obvious. "No, no its fine Mikey, I am okay really", I said, with my voice sounding like it was cracking "Hey, come here", he said, holding out his arms out to me I didn't think twice of walking to him as I wrapped my arms around him and he brought me into such a warm embrace that was filled with comfort. "Just let it out Sky, just let it all out", he said When he said those words, it was like a chain reaction and everything that was bottled up inside of me for a decade had finally been released from the damn. I started to cry into his shoulder as the years of pain, sadness and loneliness poured out of me. As much it hurts me, it felt good to finally have someone be there and let me take everything that was torturing me everyday out of my system. I was worried I was making this uncomfortable for Mikey, but all he did was just bring me close to him and his hand rubbed my back in soothing circles, encouraging me to keep going. "It's okay Sky, just let it all out, I am here for you", he said, softly Although I only cried for another good ten minutes, it seemed like I was crying for hours. I honestly would not have let my emotions spilled out if Mikey was not there. I slowly pulled away from him but he kept me in his arms as I let out shaky breathes while Mikey rubbed my shoulders helping me calm down. "Are you okay?", he asked "Yeah, yeah I am good", I said, nodding my head "I am sorry, you just get to a point where you hold it in for so long, it just finally breaks" "It's perfectly fine Sky, everyone needs to cry every now and again", he said "Yeah, but I should of done that a long time ago, you know I am going to be honest with you", I said "I haven't cried in ten years" "Seriously?!", he said, looking shocked "Just couldn't do it", I said, shaking my head "I had to keep focused and keep moving, I had no time to grieve since I was so busy taking care of myself and other things" "I can't believe you held it in for that long", he said "I am surprised myself, it's just I really don't know why I lost everything so fast, it was just out of my reach when I wanted to fix it and make it right and it's just not fair", I said, feeling my eyes fill up more with tears Mikey gently took his hand and wiped away at the falling tears down my cheeks. "Hey, don't worry, it will get better", he said I nodded managing to smile a little bit. "I do hope so too, thanks", I said, nodding "You feel better now?", he asked "Much better than what I have been feeling in this past decade", I said "It feels good to finally let it all out" He smiled. "Hey I think I got an idea, wanna head down by the shores for a little while? If you have nothing to do, you know to get your mind off of everything", he said I looked slightly away thinking about it for a moment till I smiled up to him. "That sounds really nice, I would love to", I said, nodding in agreement "Great!", he said, enthusiastically, making me giggle "I have never been down there before and I really always wanted to go" "Seriously? You haven't?", I asked, surprised "Not allowed to, could be seen", he said, shrugging "Well tonight we can make it an exception", I said, grabbing my bag "Cause I know the best spot where you won't be seen" "You sure?", he asked "Have I ever stirred you wrong?", I asked, giving him a cocked eyebrow "Well we did just meet only two days ago", he said "Close enough", I said, smiling "Come on, let me lock up and we can go!" I made sure all the lights were turned off and security system was up and running before peeking outside the door, making sure no one was around to see Mikey. "Coast is clear, come on", I said, looking back I walked out with Mikey following close behind me as he jumped up swinging on the tattoo parlor lit up neon sign and swung up to another building on the rooftop beside the shop, then looked down at me. "What are you doing up there?", I asked "Be safer, don't want to get spotted, always do this when I am out", he said "Ahhh okay then, follow me, its close by here", I said, walking away I walked on the sidewalk, occasionally looking up to see Mikey was doing all these cool moves while moving across the rooftops. He made it look so easy to do, though if I did it, it would probably leave me with a broken bone or possibly pushing myself to an early grave. I slipped on my aquamarine Aeropostale zip up hoodie as it started to get breezy out and made sure that my green bandanna with white flowers on it was tight around my head, not wanting it to fly away. Walking for a few more blocks we made it to the sea side, I looked up to see Mikey had flipped down trying to do a smooth landing, but had hit a flagpole that was hanging off of someone's balcony and he shrieked as he landed hard into a dumpster, with the lid closing down on top of him. "Mikey!", I called out, worriedly He then opened the lid up with his arm, giving me a dizzy look, like the one you would see if someone was seeing stars floating around and gave me a thumbs up. "I'm okay", he said, with his head spinning He fell backwards with the lid closing in on top of him. "Oh brother", I said, rolling my eyes walking towards the dumpster After Mikey recovered from his leap of faith, we walked down the board walk and climbed down the stairs getting down on the sand. "We made it", I said, smiling "It looks way better than seeing it from a distance!", Mikey said, looking around "This is awesome!" "Race you to the water!", I said, shoving his shoulder playfully I took off running across the sand looking back seeing Mikey wasn't too far behind me. "Hey! No fair Sky, you got a head straight!", he called out, trying to catch up "Snooze you lose big guy!", I called out, running backwards before running forward again "Catch me if you can slowpoke!" "Oh its on girl! Just wait till I get a hold of you!", he called out I laughed as I did a cartwheel showing off since I was far enough ahead where I didn't think Mikey would be able to catch up. But I guess I showed off too soon as Mikey started to come straight at me like a bullet and I shrieked trying to pick up the pace as Mikey laughed trying to grab at me with his arms. "Who is the slowpoke now?!", he said, with a smirk "No! No!", I said, laughing and screaming He then finally caught me as he grabbed my arms bringing me to him, but he tripped in a hole in the sand and before you know it we were both rolling over each other continuously on the damp sand, grunting. We finally came to a stop as I landed on top of Mikey and we both looked at each other now covered in sand and we both struggled not to laugh, but we then suddenly bursted out laughing our heads off. "I feel like I just came out of being buried alive", I said, laughing "I feel like the Sandman put too much sand on me", Mikey said, snickering "I might sleep for an entire month!" "Wow for a turtle you sure can run fast", I said "You are no slouch yourself", he said I giggled as I slid off of him as Mikey sat up and a gush of wind smacked into us. Mikey tried to block the wind with his arm while I held on to my bandanna with my hands and scrunching my face up. "Yikes very windy tonight!", he said I opened my eyes slightly to see, but then went wide seeing what was in front of us. "Sandstorm!", I said, pointing straight ahead A huge whirlwind of sand came straight for us as the wind blew hard. "Duck!", I yelled "Yipe!", Mikey said We turned on our stomachs with Mikey's arm going around me as the sand blew over and around us as we hid our faces down, avoiding the flying minerals. When I felt the wind had finally died down we both slowly started to sit up. "Woah that was close", Mikey said, shaking off some sand from his shoulder "Too close", I said, giggling shaking the sand off of my bandanna I then noticed something out of the corner of my eye that looked like a small ditch and something shining out of it from the glowing moon up in the sky. "Hey what's that?", I asked, crawling over "What's what?", Mikey asked "There is something buried here", I said, moving closer I began to move some of the sand that the wind had blown away and I gasped amazed. "Woah Mikey, look what I found!", I said "It's a nest!" "No way! Seriously?!", he said, quickly coming over to check it out "It's a sea turtles nest", I said "Look all these eggs!" "Woah that's a lot of eggs! How many are there?", he asked "Probably a good hundred in here, that's the average size of any sea turtle", I said "I wonder what species it might be" "Well I think we might just find out", Mikey said "Look one is hatching!" One little egg on top of the clutch began to move and we both moved closer to get a better look. The top of the egg made a slight crack and a little black head poked its head out. "Come on you can do it, move your way out of there", Mikey said, encouraging the baby It then gave a few more wiggles before it made it out of its previous home and slid down over the other eggs and began to look around. It had a little hard black shell and light grey flippers and I then realized what species it was. "They are leatherback sea turtle eggs!", I said, surprised "Look there are more coming out!", Mikey said, pointing The sound of eggshells cracking filled the air as the baby turtles wiggled their way out of the protective shells they have been growing in for months as they started to explore the outside world. "Awwwww they are so cute!", Mikey said, completely adored by the little hatchlings while laying on the sand "They sure are", I said, agreeing I noticed one was on its shell wiggling about as it tried to get back on its belly flapping its little flippers. I gently picked it up with my hand turning it over on its right side. "There you go little fella", I said, putting it back on the sand The baby turtles then started to make their way over the small dunes of sand which seem huge to them out towards the ocean. "Where are they going?", Mikey asked "They are off to start a new life, out into an unknown world of discovery", I said "Let's hope they make it", he said, watching them go over the sand "Come on, let's follow them", I said, crawling behind them "Hey wait for me!", he said We both crawled on our stomachs following the little hatchlings in front of and beside us, as if we were turtles ourselves. Well count Mikey as already being one. Over the sand as they made it closer and closer towards the edge of the water. "They are so tiny, I wasn't even that small when I was little", Mikey said, looking at one crawling over a little dune "And to think, if most of them make it out there, they will grow up to more than seven feet long and weigh nearly as much as a car", I said "Wow that's huge! That's bigger than my brother!", Mikey said, amazed I giggled as we made it closer to the water and we watched all the baby turtles swim to the water and being swept away by the current. "Good luck little dudes and dudettes!", Mikey called out "Let us know what you find out there!" "If only they could Mikey", I said, shaking my head smiling I then got an idea as I saw one of the inflatable boats with a motor attached to the back on the dock. "Hey I got an idea, come on", I said, getting up and running towards the edge of the dock "We can head out there and see if we can find more critters" "Wait up!", he called out He followed close behind as I jumped in the boat with Mikey hoping in front. "Light it up captain!", he said, doing a salute I started up the motor as we began to quickly move out into the sea. "Wahoo! This is awesome!", Mikey said, holding his arms out imagining like he was flying through the air I couldn't help but giggle at his behavior of imitating the scene in the Titanic. "Hang on Mikey, you don't want to go overboard!", I called out, laughing We drove the boat out till we were out where you could just see the beach and I could hear splashing being heard. "Hey there is something out there!", Mikey called out, looking back at me "What is it?", I called out "I don't know but its really big!", he said I took a peek beside him and from the glowing moonlight on the surface of the water, I could see slender white animals jumping out of the water as they landed diving back down. I thought at first I was seeing dolphins, but as I looked closer they were much bigger than dolphins and as one jumped up again making a shadow in front of the moon I couldn't help myself but get excited. "Woah beluga whales! I have seen them from the shoreline but never this close!", I said As I moved the boat closer, two of them dove under the water while two others jump out of the water, diving back down into the dark abyss of the water. When I stopped the boat and there was no sign of them as the water settled and there was silence. "Where did they go?", Mikey asked "I don't know, they were just here", I said "Maybe we might of scared them with the motor" "Wait there is one!", Mikey said, pointing Suddenly one appeared on the surface and began to swirl around, as if it was dancing and we both started laughing and then it blew air out of its blowhole and swam closer to us, poking its head above the surface before it dove down. Then the others started to swim around us and one as it dove down swung with his huge tail on the surface of the water splashing us both. "Hey!", Mikey said, shaking himself free of the water I giggled and then one suddenly came straight towards us and it jumped out of the water flying over us and the boat. "Wow!", I said, amazed "Cool!", Mikey said, sounding excited like me The other whales started to swim around us and started to jump out of the water splashing us repeatedly. Like we were in our own splash zone. As each whale breached landing down on the water, we both got soaked to the bone but we didn't care, we were just laughing and laughing at the performance. One more then came out in front of us leaning backwards and splashing down in front of us, making a huge wave splash on top of us and even making the whole boat sway back and forth before it settled, making us both shriek with laughter. "Oh my god!", I said, giggling "Dude I am soaked!" "Me too! And I thought you get more soaked at Sea World!", he said, shaking his head from the water Then the whales appeared in front of us, poking their heads out beside the boat. "You guys sure got skills, but nice job on getting us wet", I said, petting on its head "Yeah dudes, that was awesome!", Mikey said, petting one too One then jumped more in the water where it was at my eye level moving its flippers side to side, like arms moving to me. "Awwwww sure, you can have a hug", I said, hugging it gently for a few seconds before it dipped back down in the water One swam up towards Mikey till it flipped on its back showing its underbelly and Mikey gently stroked it, as it held itself still. "Awwwww they are adorable like the little turtles!", Mikey said, looking at me "These whales are very social with human interaction if they are out here, but I have never seen a pod that was this social", I said, stroking one's head "Let alone will allow you to actually touch them" "I guess we are considered lucky tonight", Mikey said "Yeah really lucky", I said, smiling The whales then dove down as the tide started to come around again and they began to swim off into the moonlight. "Bye you guys!", I called out, waving "Hope we will see you again soon!", Mikey called out As if by coincidence one whale stuck its tail up in the air and waved it side to side, like it was waving back to us as we both laughed. "Now that was awesome!", I said "Totally! Great night on the sea side!", he said "Come on, let's head back to shore", I said, as I started up the motor I stirred the boat towards the dock as we rode along the waves carrying us faster. We ported the boat where it was last put and we climbed back on the stairs to the top of the boardwalk. We decided to go hang out at my place for a little while before Mikey had to head home. As like how we walked to the shore, Mikey ran along the rooftops while I walked on the sidewalk below. I was listening to my music on my phone through my earbuds jamming out, not acknowledging anything and I learned my lesson of not to do that, as my leg ran into something causing me to loose my balance. Luckily I had caught myself on a wall catching my breath. Mikey seemed to have noticed me trip as I saw him quickly jumping down on the staircases of a fire escape landing in front of me. "You okay Sky?", he asked "Yeah I am cool", I said, giggling "That was my fault, I was jamming out, whatever was in that box sure is heavy for it to make me nearly fall on my face" We looked over seeing the small box, but then we suddenly heard a noise coming from it, making it shake slightly. "Uh did you just see that?", I asked, a bit confused "Yeah I did, what the heck was that?", he asked, looking at it freaked out I moved closer towards it as it moved again, this time pushing up on the closed flaps on top of each other, making us both flinch back. "Okay something is definitely in there", I said "What if its a snake?! Like a rattlesnake?! Or a cobra?!", Mikey said, in fear "There is no is snake in there", I said, laughing "We would know if there was one in there" "What if there is one in there? It could like lunge out at us!", Mikey said, laughing "There isn't, there is no hissing or rattling", I said, giggling "It's probably jumping beans or something Mikey, someone probably delivered it and they are waiting to get it in the morning" Mikey cautiously went to the box and began to tap on the flaps of the box. "Maybe there is nothing in there", he said "Knock knock" I then noticed one of the flaps of the box push down inside. "Wait push that flap down a little more because I have my flash now", I said, taking out my phone and turning on the flashlight "Maybe I can get a better look" He pushed down on the flap as I got down on my knees and peered inside and then a pair of glowing eyes met mine and a twitchy nose looked up at me. "It's a bunny!", I said, looking up at Mikey quickly "Its a bunny Mikey!" "What?! Oh my god!", he said, shocked "Look!", I said, pointing inside He peered inside and gasped as the little rabbit poked its head out of the opening. "Oh my god, its a little rabbit!", Mikey said "Here hold this!", I said, handing him my phone He took it as I started to open up the box and inside was the cutest rabbit I have ever seen. It was a good size that can fit perfectly in my arms, with black and brown patches with black hairs and a cute pink nose with long whiskers and long black ears. "Is there anymore in there?", Mikey asked "No its just this bunny", I said, completely awed The bunny stood up on its hind legs resting its front paws on the rim of the box and I carefully picked it up as it tried to climb on me. "Awwww that's a cute one!", Mikey said "Oh my god hello!", I said, petting its head gently "You are so freaking cute!" "What do we do with it?", Mikey asked "I don't know its just Mikey oh my god!", I said, struggling to hold my tears as well as my awe "Oh my god! Who does this?! Mikey, he is freezing, he is shaking in my arms!" "Oh he is scared!", he said, petting his back as the bunny curled up more in my arms "You know what he is coming home with me", I said, tucking him into my jacket "Yeah definitely go with you!", Mikey said, nodding eagerly "Can't believe that, who would dare do this to you?!", I said, kissing the bunnies little nose "Oh my god! We just rescued a rabbit!", Mikey said, running up beside me "Jesus Christ, the little guy could of died out here", I said, looking at him "Is he okay?", he asked, looking inside my jacket "Looks like it, he is settling down, I will have to give him a good look over when I get home", I said, pulling him closer to me "Climb up on the rooftops, we will head back to my place" "Gotcha dudette!", he said, running off into the alley and jumping up to the top I did a quick walk with Mikey following close beside me from up above as we headed back to my place. Luckily we didn't have to walk too far before we made it back to my place. I quickly walked up the stairs and went inside my apartment and it wasn't long before Mikey came in through my back window, climbing inside. "Get my blanket, off the couch!", I said, as I quickly went to the thermostat Mikey quickly got my thick blanket off the couch bunching it up as I turned up the heat to make it warm up quickly. The air started blowing soothing warm air as I got the rabbit out of my jacket and into the blanket. Mikey bundled him up rubbing him gently to warm him up. "Keep him still I am going to see if he is going okay", I said I did a physical check on the rabbit to make sure he wasn't injured or showing any signs of illness from being out in the cold. "I think we just saved him in the knick of time", I said "He doesn't appear to have any injuries and no signs of contracting any illness" "Oh that's a relief!", he said, letting out a huge sigh "He just needs to warm up", I said "Keep him in that blanket for a little while, he needs to stay warm, I'm going to see if we can make him eat a little" I went into my fridge and I grabbed a few pieces of parsley, a baby carrot and a leaf of kale and went walking back into the living room and I smiled seeing the bunny sniffing at Mikey's face. "He feels like Lola and Iggy", he said, chuckling I giggled. "Here baby, I got some food, you must be hungry", I said Mikey turned the rabbit around as I held out the piece of kale and the rabbit quickly bit at the fresh vegetable and started eating it like crazy. "Oh you were starving honey", I said "Poor little guy", Mikey said, looking sadly at him "Why was he left out there?" I sighed. "I am afraid it was human ignorance and lack of care, respect and love for this little guy and decided they didn't want to care for him anymore", I said "How could they?", Mikey said, sadly "That's just...terrible" "I am not so sure why Mikey, but I hate to say this, but this happens everyday all around the world", I said He looked at me scared and then down at the rabbit and he held him closer, afraid that he was going to be taken from him. He petted him along his head and back, and rocking him side to side. He looked like a child that was scared during a thunderstorm, hugging his beloved stuffed animal to him for comfort and security. "Mikey", I said He looked up at me with small tears in his eyes. "But there are people out there who are trying to stop this, so that it never has to happen again, like what you and I did tonight. We saved his life and he is going to be okay, he won't be alone anymore and he will be safe from harm and will feel nothing but love", I said "Really?", he said, hopefully "Yes, I promise", I said "Are you going to keep him?", he asked "I am, besides I have been wanting to get a rabbit for quite some time and he is just the sweetest thing I have ever seen", I said, scratching his ear "He will live here with me, better for him anyways than leaving him out there or taking him to a shelter" "Yes!", he said, in a victory voice I giggled and the rabbit looked up at Mikey and began to sniff his face again as he laughed. The bunny then began to chew on his mask tugging on it with his little teeth. "Hey cut that out! That's my mask", he said, laughing I laughed along too. "Be warn Mikey bunnies love to chew on anything", I said The bunny then jumped down from the couch and began to hop around, exploring his new home. He sniffed at my furniture and rubbed up against it and without warning he binked into the air and began to run around. Mikey and I laughed as he ran around the couch several times. "What is he doing?", Mikey said, looking over the couch "He is happy, rabbits do that when they are really happy", I said The bunny then stopped running and he then flopped against the baseboard. We both couldn't help but awe as he was trying to catch his breath from his burst of happiness. "Oh my god, he is so adorable!", I said "What should we name the little guy?", Mikey asked "Mmmmmm well since you were the one to find him, why don't you name him?", I said "Awesome! Mmmmmm let's see", Mikey said, getting on the floor and looking at the bunny as it sniffed his face and climbed on to the back of his shell Mikey looked to be in deep thought of trying to think of a name, tapping his fingers on the hardwood floor, as the rabbit jumped down from him and sniffed his face. The glow of the white moon came in through the window as it made the whole room shine white casting a shadow on everything. "Hey I got it!", Mikey said, snapping his fingers "What?", I asked "How about Usagi?", he asked, looking up at me "Usagi? What does that mean? Is it Chinese or something?", I asked, curiously "It means rabbit of the moon in Japanese", he said, pointing towards the window "And since the moon is out and its casting out on him" I looked out the window briefly seeing the moon, then looked back down at the rabbit. "Usagi, I love it!", I said "Usagi it is!" "Yes!", Mikey said, doing a fist bump Now the known rabbit named Usagi went hoping towards Mikey as he carefully picked him up and scratched the back of his ears as Usagi licked the side of his wrist. "Woah that feels weird", he said, watching him "Awwwwww how cute, he has complete trust in you, he loves you", I said Mikey smiled up at me and he began to pet Usagi more smiling, as Usagi enjoyed the affection by laying on his chest. I just smiled. You know I haven't smiled this much in ten years and it was all because of this guy. Mikey seemed to be healing my wounds and broken spirit not like anyone else could. I don't know why out of all people I have been with or seen, that this out of the ordinary person, a stranger of the outside world could make such a difference in me. Maybe this was a sign, a beacon of hope, that maybe I was suppose to meet him and that he was the one to help me bring out of my sad and depressing life. Maybe he is the friend that I have been finally waiting for.

[cicadablog]

<p>She smelled warm and lemony, salty like the sea breeze…I looked over to her sitting on my bed, the sun was setting outside my room and few orange rays made their way through the blinds and caught her legs. I followed them to the brim of her dress then looked away. I felt my confidence go down the drain as my cheeks flushed hot. I wondered if she had seen me looking…I attempted to distract myself as she flipped through the channels of the TV. I sat cross-legged in my chair, grabbed my sketchbook, and began to doodle  - I started with long fluid lines, then I pictured her in the ocean earlier that day, how she ran toward me touching her wet hair, I couldn’t decide what I wanted more…the lines became shaky. I was happy then to remember people had always said we could be twins.</p> <p>I turned my chair to face her and pretended to draw…smirking the entire time, as if it would help me gain an ounce of confidence back to make her more uncomfortable than I was. She looked away from the TV to look at me, then back to the TV, then back again and smiled. “What are you doing?”</p> <p>“Shh…” I replied coyly raising my eyebrow. </p> <p>She sat up a little and her dress inched up her thigh. Before I could convince myself not to look, I was lost following the outline of her long legs stretched over my bed, the white fabric contrasting her dewy tan skin, bright orange rays of sun over her shins, and her graceful feet pointing straight at me. This time, there was no hiding my embarrassment, and for a moment, I was thankful for how little sunscreen I had worn at the beach, my summer skin hid what I imagine were bright red cheeks. She raised her eyebrow back at me and ran her fingers through her long hair, I had seen her make that face before, at cute guys at bars…not to me. I closed my sketchbook, and moved to sit at the end of my bed. “Is anything else on TV?” I asked, then I blew a bubble with my strawberry gum.</p> <p>“Hm…I don’t know, what do you want to watch?”</p> <p>I didn’t want to watch anything, I wanted to sink my teeth into her neck, for her to be lost under a veil of my hair as I kissed her shoulders.</p> <p>“Hm…I…don’t…know.” I answered looking at my nails.</p> <p>“Cool, in that case, I’m picking a movie.”  </p> <p>Just a week earlier, I had convinced her to dye her pale blonde hair to a lavender cotton-candy-like color. She wasn’t afraid to try it, and as I helped her rinse the dye off over the tub, the water ran a neon pink and purple…I couldn’t help but laugh at what I may have gotten her into, but as she blow-dried her mass of pastel mermaid hair, I couldn’t imagine a color suiting her more.<br>Against my coral walls and sprawled over the creamy color of my sheets, she looked mythical, she flipped her hair out of habit and got up to look through my movie collection. I laid where she had been laying, my spine relaxing with my heavy stillness, my breathing still mimicking the waves I swam in. She made her slender fingers tip-toe over the covers of my movies. I didn’t try to look at what she picked, it would be dishonest for me to say I even cared, my mind was in a million other places and yet, all of those places were only a few feet from me.</p> <p>She made her way back to the bed, “You stole my spot, jerk.” She poked me and we both giggled. She crawled up the bed and laid behind me. I turned my body away to face the TV and the movie began to play previews. She followed by laying in the same position so close I could feel her breathing, her body-heat close enough to warm my already very hot skin. Two previews in and I recognized the movie she had picked, it was one about young lovers, betrayal, and lust. I shuddered lightly at the cool breeze that had blown in from the open window, the strap of my shirt had fallen off my shoulder before I lay, I never bothered to pull it up. I waited till I felt her eyes on me to do something I had only done with boys. I gently and slowly grabbed the strap between my fingers and dragged it till it was over my shoulder. She was close enough for me to sense that her breathing had changed. We laid on our bellies towards the TV in the same way, chins rested on our hands, stillness. Kira sighed and turned onto her back, her head hanging off so that her hair made a mauve pile on the floor, “I’m bored already, let’s do something else.” She nudged my arm with her nose, the feeling of her lips trailing off the gentle goosebumps on my skin, I sank as I felt the anxiety build up, a desire to tear at her, my heart pounding so fast I was afraid she could hear it. In my head- my only thought was to control myself and my movements- to not be obvious, something I was hoping would override any other idea, but I lunged at her, hands pulling her dress up. A mess of breathing, of energy, of desire, of wanting Kira to want me too, and for a second, I think she did, curving her hips into me as I filled my mouth with her flesh. Every part of her body on high alert, I could sense a difference in her scent, she wanted me to want her, I filled my hands with her breasts, her nipples pushing back into the center of my palms, hard now like she had been waiting for this. I felt a tug on the belt loop of my jean shorts, her hands wandered as she kissed me back, completely lost in some idea of how long we’d been there. She shifted her knees as if to my closer to my hands…*KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK…we stopped in our tracks, both looking at the door, hair wild and lips flushed. “Leila! Can you guys move Kira’s car, I need to move some stuff into the house…” The voice trailed off, it was my older brother, my guardian…the one person who had always been there. </p> <p>Kira looked at me and flashed her big white teeth, we shared a secret relieved laugh, natural, not awkward, and she grabbed her keys as she slid on little tan flip-flops. Kira fixed her dress as she walked out of the room, leaving me, a teenage girl completely in lust, drowning in my bed. In Hawaii, you’re always liable to drown if you go out for a surf, not always from being completely enamored with perfect mermaid girls.