#i watch this like every day and i am dying of laughter

[fandomsmeantheworldtome]

This is pure gold😂

video source

[thekissofaphrodite]

Angel Eyes

Luke Castellan X Daughter of Aphrodite!Reader

Summary: Look into his angel eyes, You'll think you're in paradise, and one day, you'll find out he wears a disguise. Don't look too deep into those angel eyes.

Warnings: Explicit scenes *smirks*, angst (Remind me if I missed one!)

Author's note: I was listening to ABBA and realized that Angel Eyes describes Luke PERFECTLY. When Yk yk.

——

You laid on top of Luke's bare chest, still panting heavily, He pressed his nose to your hair and inhaled your scent. His muscular arms wrapped around your breasts.

"Do you love me?"

Luke immediately laughed, His throat bobbing as his laughter echoed through his empty cabin.

"Is that even a question? Of course I do, " He said, His eyes looking deeply at yours, carefully analyzing your reaction.

You didn't answer. Instead, you got up and pulled his blanket to cover your bare chest while trying to search for your clothes.

Luke immediately sensed something was wrong, He sat up and leaned against the headboard, Carefully watching you as you put on your pink bra.

"You're Upset" He said.

"Am I?" You asked sarcastically, You remembered the prophecy perfectly.

Someone who you deeply love lies, manipulating one until your own eyes sees the bright blue skies.

Someone you deeply love.

The oracle felt like it was pointing at Luke, the love of your life. The one who saved you when you were a mess. The one who kissed you every night, The one who wiped your tears when you were crying. The one who held your hand when you were scared.

It's impossible.

He wouldn't do that.

Not Him.

Not Luke.

As soon as you're fully clothed. You looked into his eyes, Searching for any signs of betrayal you might suffer, But instead, He winked and kissed your cheeks before you left.

——

He betrayed you, He really did.

He wasn't Luke anymore, He was now Kronos.

You laid beneath the road. The sun hitting your face as you stared at skies, Rethinking your choices.

You're fatally wounded after ethan nakamura shot you with a deadly arrow, The poison spread slowly inside your body, making you weak. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought his name all over again.

Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke

As if tho his name was a prayer, You were dying. You were about to lose a life, A life you had future plans, a life that you deeply deserve.

Then, You saw someone towering over you, It was Luke, with a scythe in hand, His scar was still on his face, Ever so beautiful. You tried to say his name but was greeted with a pool of blood choking you as soon as you opened your mouth.

"Shh...There there now..." Luke, Or should I say Kronos caressed your hair as you started gasping for hair, Indicating that the poison had spread now.

"Sleep well darling" He whispered as he planted a kiss on your forehead.

You then closed your eyes and stopped struggling, You were now free, The last thing you saw was the blue skies and Luke's angel eyes as Thanatos' silhouette appeared behind you.

A/N: THE BETRAYAL?!?!? I HAVEN'T READ THE BOOKS BUT I KNEW LUKE WAS A TRAITOR. HOW DID I DO?! IM NOT GOOD AT ANGST SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF THIS IS A SHORT ONE 😔😔

[f1girliefics]

Finally

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Of course, everyone wanted him. He is a Champion after all.

A/N: Massive thank you to everyone who voted! Hope you enjoy!

You understood.

He was a winner.

The most wanted man currently. He was a Formula 1 driver, rich, single and famous.

Every woman wanted him.

But it didn't help your jealousy.

You have had a crush on him for the longest time. You knew him from the moment he joined Red Bull.

Keeping it a secret had been difficult as everyone around you knew about it. Even Chris made jokes about when you two will get together.

And yet, he had no clue.

And you liked that.

You didn't want him to find out.

It's not like you had a real chance with him.

He used to date models for God's sake. They were all thin, rich and had the personality of a moth. Okay, you might have added the last part. 

But still.

You were simply the social media manager for Red Bull.

You were… simple. 

But jealousy hit like a truck out of nowhere. He showed up at an event with a woman. 

She was pretty but she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She fully believed DRS means “Doing Rather Shitty” after Lance made a joke. 

Then Fernando made a joke about how the cockpit is called that because they used to have chickens running around and they jumped on the cars. 

You were dying of laughter. And she fully believed everything. 

But she was beautiful. 

You had to agree with that.

But when they walked back to his car, hand in hand, your stomach sank.

"Jealousy is dangerous." Fernando stepped closer to you as he sipped his drink.

"Talking from experience?" you turned and smiled at him. 

"Maybe." his look made you laugh.

Little did you know that Max watched you laugh with Fernando and he couldn't help the feeling in his stomach.

---

Much like everyone else's, the Monza Grand Prix was your favourite.

You just loved the buzz and the excitement. Everyone hoped Ferrari would win.

Even you had a little soft spot for the team during a weekend like this.

You would steal glances at Max when he wasn't looking, and your heart would flutter whenever he smiled as his engineer was talking to him.

The Grand Prix ended with Max coming out on top.

As a way to celebrate, he invited you to a picnic in the park. 

You just couldn't resist the opportunity to spend more time with him, so of course you said yes. 

You spent hours picking out your outfit.

And when you arrived, Max had everything ready. It looked... romantic.

As you sat on a blanket under the shade of a tree, you felt your heart pounding in your chest. 

You knew that this was the perfect moment to finally confess your feelings to Max. Even if it would ruin your relationship, you didn't want to hide in the shadows any longer.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered up the courage to speak with your heart hammering in your chest. 

"May, there's something I need to tell you," you began, voice trembling slightly. But you knew, you couldn't watch him with other women any longer.

Now or never.

Max turned to look at you, his eyes filled with curiosity but he allowed you to continue with a simple nod.

"I...I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember," you confessed, and felt your cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. "Ever since Chris introduced us... and I am tired of pretending that I am not."

To your surprise, Max's face broke into a wide grin. 

"I've been in love with you too, from the moment I heard you laugh" he said, reaching out to take your hand into his. 

Your heart filled with joy as you realized that your feelings were returned. You sat there in the park, basking in the warmth of your newfound love, knowing that you had finally found happiness in each other's arms.

All of your worries just left you when he leaned over to kiss you.

What a weekend.

From that day on, you two started sharing secrets, and dreams and laughing together under the stars. 

You couldn't believe that you had kept your feelings hidden for so long. 

The next day, when you announced your relationship everyone just said, "Finally." and congratulated you.

Looked like you two were truly blind, but you didn't care about that anymore.

All you could care about was that you were finally his and he was yours.

[thesecretsofthedivine]

Pick a Pile Reading | Messages From Your Future Spouse 💍🪐

Business Carrd 🍶🧺

Paid Services 🍇⭐

Tip Jar 🍾🎱

*Disclaimer: This is a collective reading - take what resonates and leave the rest. If this resonates with you, please show support by reposting (with credit), tipping, or booking with me! :)

*Exchanges with other intuitives/readers are available via dm's

──────

PILE 1 COLLECTIVE

• I love the sound of your laughter.

• You’ve turned me into a more carefree person.

• Let’s spend the day baking/cooking then heading right back to bed to cuddle!

• I feel like we could never have enough quality time together.

• You’re my favorite person in the world.

• I’m addicted to your scent.

• We should start a family (🐾/👶).

• You’re my lock screen.

• I tell all my friends about you. If you checked my notifications, all you’d see is a group chat roasting me for how obsessed I am with you.

• There is no place I’d rather be than here with you in my arms.

• I like to watch you sleep. You just seem so peaceful and still that it’s intensely captivating. I hope you don’t mind 😵‍💫.

~ miscellaneous: earth sign placements. homebodies. 2 introverts or an introvert & an extrovert. hard-working, masculine qualities in your spouse. wholesome domestic moments.

PILE 2 COLLECTIVE

• I want to drown in the sea of your existence.

• Dedicating poetry and art to you — my favorite muse.

• There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t give to have more time with you.

• I’m afraid of loss/dying, but entering old age with you would make my existence complete.

• Please don’t leave me.

• Can I wake you up early if I’m craving your attention? It’s hard for me to contain my excitement when you look this beautiful/attractive.

• Let’s watch the sunset together and stay up late talking for hours.

• Every detail of your existence does not go unnoticed by me.

• We were meant to love each other in this life/I know that we are past life lovers who have found one another again.

• Come on, baby. Don’t be shy with me.

~ miscellaneous: water sign placements (especially scorpio or for their moon sign). 2 night owls or a night owl & a morning person. hozier songs. romantic moments caught on camera/posted online. artist x muse trope.

PILE 3 COLLECTIVE

• You light me on fire with desire.

• I love teasing you more than anything else in the world.

• You’re my best friend and lover, all wrapped into one.

• My heart feels warm and glows from the inside whenever you’re around.

• I can’t lose you. If I do, I’ll go crazy.

• Let’s go for a drive, listen to music, eat food, and forget about our worries.

• I want to be the first person you call when you’re in trouble.

• I will never judge you.

• We will travel everywhere and make the world our own.

• I want to surprise you with grand gestures (especially via gifts or shared experiences).

~ miscellaneous: fire sign placements. ready or not — bridgit mendler. sneaky smirks that make you smile uncontrollably. spontaneous memories or communication. fluffy hair & tan skin features for some.

PILE 4 COLLECTIVE

• Pulling out all my best jokes just for you.

• Give me a nickname and I’ll give you one back.

• How can I possibly deny your charm?!

• Your style is impeccable. Every time we’re in a shop together, I just want to watch you pose in front of the mirror.

• I’ll make you homemade snacks and share my family’s recipes with you!

• Spoiling you with acts of service.

• We don’t even have to speak to understand one another. Mere eye contact is enough.

• You bring out my (good) crazy side 🤪.

• I love how we can always bounce off each other’s energies so well.

• I wanna give you expensive jewelry or items with my initials on it.

~ miscellaneous: air sign placements. a quirky sense of humor. distinct eyebrows. friends to lovers trope (Monica & Chandler came to mind). latin/hispanic backgrounds for some.

[yandere-romanticaa]

It's 8 PM. I am listening to Frank Sinatra. And Jing Yuan makes me emotional therefore, I need to write some shit down. When will I ever write for any other HSR character that's not him???

Jing Yuan, a long living species, who falls for a regular human. A short living species.

He is a man who is able to play the waiting game, he is that kind of person who can and is willing to analyze every single possible move his enemy, or ally, can and is willing to make. Centuries of long and hard battles have desensitized him to certain brutality. Now, he is not some beast who is not capable of compassion but when you've lost so much, it's only natural for your heart to harden.

That is why the realization that he cannot play the waiting game with you dawns on him.

You may stand by his side now but where will you be in the next 10 years? The next 50 years? A century means nothing to him. It will all go away in the blink of an eye, forgotten and unnecessary.

His heart sinks at the thought of you not being with him. The way in which you coo after him, it gives him a reason to actually enter his office and leave it with a smile on his face. Who will be there for that cheeky little Cloud Knight of his when he's feeling pouty? Who will be there to smack Jing Yuan back to his senses as he takes yet another unnecessary nap?

One day, you will grow old and he will stay the same as he is. He will hold you in his arms and weep as he watches the life leave your eyes for good. Jing Yuan will be forced to watch the final piece of his heart be ripped away from him, stolen by cruel destiny. He could already taste the blood in his mouth as he bites back a scream of pain.

Curse the Abundance. Curse the entire Universe for taking you away from him. Curse your silly mortality, curse the fact that you were so perfect to begin with.

That is precisely why right now, he must have you. He takes you away and locks you in some private estate, where you can be safe. The thought of making you a long living species is tempting but he is not sure if he's willing to play that card.

You scream sometimes. You weep and cry to please let you go, that you love him but that this is not alright. And Jing Yuan can do nothing but to kiss your forehead and mumble sweet nothings in your ear.

He may perhaps even marry you in secret. If he does, his wedding ring would never come off his finger, not even after your passing. This sparks so many rumors on the Lofu but Jing Yuan does not acknowledge them. He is the only one who needs to know the true meaning of the ring.

Jing Yuan is not ready for your death. He may try to prepare but really, who is ever ready for something so painful?

He sits quietly next to you, the sheets beneath you all silk and perfection. The room reeks of medicine and flowers but it is missing the bright sound of your laughter. You are gone. Jing Yuan bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks of funeral arrangements.

But it's so hard to concentrate if his vision is filled with black spots.

Jing Yuan stands up, his feet shaky, his soul shattered. His heart is either dead or dying because you took it with you, wherever you may be. The General can feel the walls around him tightening, the air in his lungs knocked out as the floor is suddenly covered in golden leaves.

Ah, they look pretty. You would have liked those indeed. Jing Yuan reaches towards them, a long, ink black talon gently picks it off the marble floor as his long white hair covers his face.

Odd, he thinks to himself. His hands never looked so black before.

A nearby caw of a raven breaks him out of his trance as Jing Yuan looks to his left, where a massive mirror hangs. He is greeted with something that should horrify him, something that should make him weep but he has no tears left to shed.

The Mara is taking over him. It is too late to fix him.

Maybe, just maybe, the General of the Lofu does not want to be fixed. Perhaps he can be slain in battle and be reunited with you in the afterlife. Would you be happy to see him? Would you hold him in your arms, play with his hair and sing him songs in the quiet evening?

Perhaps you wouldn't show him such kindness. After all, he has hurt you in so many ways. He does not deserve your love. But he can't help but to reach out for it.

A final tear cascades down his pale cheek as Jing Yuan smiles at his reflection. A maid opens the door behind him and lets out a loud scream, her eyes shaking in fear as she witnesses the General transforming into the same kind monster he swore he would keep in check. Jing Yuan sighs as he feels his heart beat, for the final time.

He was coming to see you. He was going to see you again. He was ready to grovel and beg as much as necessary, if it meant that you would be by his side. Yes, that truly was a pleasant thought. You and him, together as the sun sets. He can still see the faint glimmer of the golden ring on his finger, his eternal promise to you. It shines like a lonely star in a massive galaxy, with no way to protect itself.

However, not even stars can live forever.

And just like that, the world goes dark.

[felis-rach]

This world needs more bowsareach! So here's a little something I wrote for them! (It was part of a bigger fic I didn't finish, but it doesn't need context)

Mario was starting to think that all the “hero” thing made him forgot how to deal with mundane challenges.

He realized that when he saw himself using the cat-bell to climb up the wall and get a book from the top of the shelf. And when he tried to explain the claw marks to Peach, saying, “but what ELSE could I have done?” Her answer was silently pointing to a chair.

Bowser thought this was all hilarious, of course. And Mario had to remind him of who breathed fire into the oven when it wouldn’t turn on. And the reason they had to eat microwaved food for a week.

It was just a simple memory of some random day, but it made Mario feel so nostalgic. Their little home, hidden in a hill on the edge of the kingdom and accessible through a warp pipe they built, was no less than a dream come true.

After all, dating two monarchs meant that the three of them couldn’t simply rent an apartment together. Peach had to stay at her castle, and Bowser, at his, and when they eventually arranged the marriage that would unite the two kingdoms, it would be time to live together and Mario would come along.

But for now, the three of them settled in getting a little house to be the place they could run away to when Peach and Bowser got a moment of peace. It was great, especially when they managed to spend a whole weekend there.

Mario had the time of his life watching The Royals get used to the cottage. Peach, as a regent who always placed herself at the same level of her people and hated to be perceived as superior, gave her best to act naturally, so Mario tried to hide his laughter when they sat down to eat and her face just read “Oh, indeed, this table has but four chairs and doesn’t occupy the whole room.” He could see her dying inside a bit when all the plates and cups got too cramped up.

Bowser, on the other hand, being made of ego as he was, absolutely made sure he was seen as superior by his subjects (which never prevented him from being a caring ruler, going personally to a civilian’s house if they had any trouble, and screw his schedule). So he didn’t even pretend to be comfortable there. It was such an ordeal to prevent him from turning the house into a second palace. The most that Mario and Peach gave in was to make a living room big enough to fit a grand piano. Even so, he complained at every possible time about the house’s size.

“Pff. The fifty-second heir to the mighty koopa empire, living on an ant’s house like this… Of course, we left it to Mario to lead the project. He measured the house based on his own size.”

And Mario simply answered by sitting on the table in front of him. “Truly, I am so very small.” He placed Bowser’s hand on his back. “Look, I even fit on this huge and scary koopa’s hand. Oh, my stars! I sure do hope he doesn’t take advantage of all this size to grab me and kidnap me to some dark castle. Poor me!”

His voice was casually innocent, and Bowser’s face was on fire since he was still a mess whenever Mario and Peach gave him attention like that (and the two of them abused the heck out of it).

“Don’t you tempt me, plumber.” Bowser warned, holding his breath.

“Your hand is still around me.”

“…”

“Oh, no! That terrible monster is kidnapping my Mario!” Peach entered the room, and Mario fondly smiled with the “my”, dumb as their playing was. “Will I have to rescue him? But what if he kidnaps me, too?” She threw herself at Bowser with a hand dramatically at her forehead.

“STOP THAT!” Bowser jumped out of the chair, like Mario and Peach were contagious. “You two, you’re… you’re unfair, that’s what you are!”

“Weeeeeee?” They got closer, blinking innocently at the koopa, who got all the more red.

“…Dddddon’t you blame me when I actually kidnap you.” He turned to leave, visibly wanting to die in some corner and regain his dignity before he could even think about flirting back. And hit the doorframe with his shoulder. “STUPID small house! That’s YOUR fault, Mario!” They heard, as he ran to the room. And just laughed together.

“I definitely won’t mind if he goes through with this threat.” Mario smirked. “What about you, Peaches?”

“Not at all.” She agreed, before placing herself in front of her boyfriend, pinning him to the table with both arms. “Just beware, or I might take you first, sweetie.”

And she kissed his nose. Yeah, he’d definitely not mind that too.

[arcanesea]

take care

PAIRINGS: boo seungkwan x reader GENRE: established relationship, sick fic, hurt-comfort WC: 511 WARNINGS: mention of dying (in a joking manner)

"Seungkwan, I am so sorry for everything…" you said. Seungkwan let out an exasperated sigh, setting the tray he brought on your bedside table.

"You're not dying, my sweet, stop being dramatic."

"I feel like I am though," you said, coughing dryly. It seems like your cold isn't getting any better so you had to cancel your date with Seungkwan. You're also thinking of taking a day off on Monday.

Seungkwan sat on the edge of your bed, placing the back of his hand on your forehead, making you hiss at the contact.

"Jeez, you're so.." he stopped himself from complaining, realizing that he's more or less the same way around you; dramatic.

"I'm gonna go buy some medicine and a first aid box. You need to keep at least one thermometer around." He stood up. "I made you soup, try to eat."

"What if I die while you're out, Kwannie?" You asked, holding on to your boyfriend's hand, not allowing him to go.

"Well, who told you to not bring an umbrella?!" he scolded you. The cold started Friday night after you carelessly walked home despite the rain. In your defense, it was only a drizzle, and the bus stop is literally across your apartment, so that's not much of a distance.

"Fine, I'll just order them," Seungkwan said, sitting back down. "And don't look at me like that."

You smile, wiggling to give him some more space.

"Can you sit? I don't think you should eat while laying down," he ordered. You move up a little, feeling a sudden headache. He snickered at your expression before helping you place a pillow

behind your back for a slight support.

Seungkwan ordered some stuff while feeding you the soup he made earlier. In no time, you've finished the whole bowl. Seungkwan put away the bowl, feeling proud because he managed to scoop out the exact amount of soup for you to finish.

He helped you with water and the last of your medicine, ruffling your hair after you made a disgusted face.

"Will you die if I leave to grab the meds and put this away?" he asks you. You let out a laugh, coughing in the process. "Aigoo, my sweet."

You shooed him with a grin. He smiled at you before leaving you with the finished meals. A sudden wave of drowsiness washes over you, you're not sure if it's the meds or you're just tired. You fix the pillow a little, laying back down. it doesn’t take long for you to fall back asleep.

"Do you want to use this?" Seungkwan walks in with a bunch of stuff he bought. The sight of you already asleep stopped him in his tracks, making him cover his mouth quickly.

He puts down the stuff on top of your drawers and walks over to your bed. He then continues to place one finger under your nose, all while trying to hold back laughter.

He fixes your hair before tugging you in tighter.

"You're not gonna die, my sweet, not on my watch."

a/n. every strong independent person needs someone to take care of them when they're sick

[sorrowsofsilence]

memento mori • n.s

pairing: noah sebastian x gn!reader

words: 1.6k

warnings: ANGST, grief, loss, death, mourning (this is kinda heavy, please do not feel like you need to read im getting out feelings)

summary: "if you're watching this, im dead."

note: i think i was feeling some kinda way because i don't really know where this came from lol, but here's a quick little blurb if you enjoy angst <3

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING A REAL PERSON IN A FICTIONAL SCENARIO! I AM NOT IMPLYING THEY WOULD ACT THIS WAY OR DO THE THINGS IN MY FANFICTION- IT IS FOR FUN, AND IT IS SIMPLY FICTION! <3

I sat in front of my computer screen, shell-shocked as the haunting words of his last video echoed in my ears.

"If you're watching this, I'm dead."

My heart clenched at his words, chest tightening as my breath caught in my throat. My room around me felt cold, too large and too empty, even with the myriad of knick-knacks and photos that adorned every available surface.

With trembling hand I reached out a to replay the video, but hesitated before I could do it. His face was frozen on the screen, eyes full of sorrow and resignation. A face I had fallen in love with; a stranger’s face that had brought so much unanticipated joy into my life.

His voice echoed through the silence again, the words heavy with grief and regret.

For what? For whom?

Refreshing the page, I watched his face light up the screen- his brown eyes warm and laughing, a stark contrast to the somber look from the end of the video. I watched as he talked about his day, his love for music, his appreciation of movies and games. It was all so normal, so Noah. It was easy to forget, just for a moment, what the end of the video would bring.

Then came the shift, where his bright demeanour began to fall away, replaced by a solemnity that felt unnatural on his usually vibrant face.

"I have some news," he began, his voice cracking slightly under the weight of his words. Even though I’d already heard him say it, part of me still hoped the next words out of his mouth would be different.

"But before I tell you," he said with a long pause, staring directly into the camera as if he knew I was watching, “I want you to remember the fun we had. I want you to remember the laughter, the joy...how I always kicked ass at super smash," His voice wavered with a stiff laugh, vulnerable and raw.

"I want you to remember me as I was, not as I will be."

My vision blurred with tears as his gaze bore into mine through the screen. Pulling my knees to my chest in an attempt at comfort while sitting at my desk, I choked back the tears that threatened to spill.

His words, even though for thousands, felt painfully intimate; like we were alone in an empty world, sharing a private moment of heart-wrenched farewell.

The long-haired brunette continued, "If you're watching this, I'm dead."

The harsh reality of his words hit me again like a physical blow, the tears falling as saliva grew in my mouth, lips quickening.

I watched his face crumple with sorrow before he collected himself, taking a deep breath. An inked hand came up to rub his face, as though he was struggling with words.

"There's no easy way to say it," he said, voice trembling with held-back tears, "I've been sick for a while... I didn't want anyone to worry. So, I kept it to myself."

Taking my sleeve, I rubbed my eyes as he continued.

"But now..." His voice wavered, "Now, I'm gone."

I watched in helpless agony as he tried to smile through his tears, a raw attempt to offer comfort, that he may have needed more.

The image of Noah, smiling despite everything, was a painful reminder of just how much I had lost; what the people in his life had lost.

“And I’m sorry.”

And here he was, apologizing to us for dying.

His brave facade crumbled then, and he broke down, weeping openly on screen. Noah’s sobs echoed through the quiet room, filling the spaces between my cries. I wanted to reach out to comfort him, but he was no longer there…only his digital ghost remained, memorialized within the code.

"I don't want you to mourn me," he said, his voice merely a whisper. "I want you to celebrate me for the life I've lived, and not the life I've lost."

His words knotted in my chest, a cruel irony in the face of the anguish that strung me. How was I to celebrate him? When every fibre of my being felt shredded by grief?

"You’ve been my friends," he continued softly, “and in a weird way, my family. You’ve joined streams with me through my best and worst times. I read every comment, every message; you didn’t know it but you gave me strength and laughter when I needed it most.”

Tears welled anew in my eyes. The impact of his sincere words left my heart racing, and limbs warming in misery.

"I need you to promise me something," he choked out after a moment, his gaze unwavering from the camera.

I sniffed, wiping my eyes again, his plea holding an intensity that made it impossible for me to look away

"Promise me you won't let my story end with my death," he said, sharing a small smile.

His voice tremored, yet it was filled with a surprising steeliness. "Promise me that you'll remember the joy, the laughter... the love."

His eyes held a fervour that pierced my heart; a vow exchanged under the silent witness of testimonial sorrow.

"I want you to take whatever you’ve found in my videos. Every smile, every piece of advice- every Mortal Kombat combo,” He paused, swallowing harshly with a dismissed laugh. "I want you... I want you to live."

The weight of his words hung in the air like a solemn promise. Live. He wanted me to live, us - fully and completely

"Love generously," he whispered, "Don’t take being here for granted.”

Noah smiled, nodding towards me, “You are worthy, and you are cherished. You make an impact on this earth, whether you believe so or not. You have a purpose.”

I continued to sob as his words flowed out of the speakers, dancing through the room in a mournful ballad.

His brown eyes bore into mine from the screen as he tucked a strand of brunette hair behind his ears.

"But most of all," he added, his voice barely more than a whisper now, "I want you to know that even though I'm not physically here anymore, I'll always be with you."

His words wrapped around my body in a comforting hug, and I squeezed my knees closer to my chest. As I rested my chin upon them, letting the tears stain my jeans I shared a bitter smile with the man I appreciated more than life itself.

The finality of Noah’s message was there – stark and painful – yet beneath it was an underlying message of hope and resilience.

"Thank you," he smiled after a pause, wiping away his cheeks with the sleeve of his black hoodie, "Thank you for being a part of my journey."

The screen blanked as the video ended, leaving me alone in the silence.

A sense of loss washed over me, raw and broken, desolate and despondent.

I sat there for a while longer, holding my body as his words echoed in my mind.

'Love generously. You are worthy. You have a purpose.’

The sentiment clung to the edges of my consciousness, like a mantra slowly seeping into my being.

My steps felt heavy and slow when I found the strength to leave my room, each one an effort to move forward.

Grief was insidious like that, invading every thought and action with its hollow grasp, embellishing its roots deep beneath the skin of heartache.

Yet, was I allowed to mourn someone who was ultimately in the end, a stranger?

But when I crawled back up the stairs, into the safety of my room, I crawled into bed and let myself open his channel once again.

Unwanted tears welled up again as I glanced at the screen, scrolling through the various streams and uploads. For so long, it had been my window to Noah - his thoughts, his creations, his heart-warming smiles.

Now, it was merely a screen- the end of the illusion that I had been a part of his life, even though we were strangers separated by thousands of miles.

The digital veil was a beautiful thing; allowing us to feel a brief sense of connection- until it’s pulled away.

And although we were strangers, he reached out to us in his most vulnerable moment.

He had shared his pain, his fear, and ultimately his hope for those of us left behind.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I hovered my thumb over another video title - 'Noah's Adventures: Ocean with the Boys’.

When I hit play, there he was. Alive. Vibrant.

His infectious smile tugged at my heartstrings as he pointed excitedly at the stunning sunset around him, knocking into his best friends. The brunette’s laughter filled my room, dispelling the stifling silence that had taken hold of my heart.

With every passing second of the video, I cried, my chest aching as my throat tightened with grief and pain- yet nostalgia and laughter as I smiled with him.

"Ya boy Noah here," he said with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, "Me and the gang thought a picnic would be a good idea,”

He then held up a container of sacramental bread, his bizarre favourite snack.

“I got jesus bones, Nick’s got the vodka.”

The chorus of laughter that erupted as Noah smiled cheekily into the camera left my heart aching at the sight of his friends- his family.

I mourned for them, too.

This was the Noah he wanted us to remember: full of life.

As the video drew to an end, the screen filled the brilliant hues of orange and purple splashed across the sky, as if painted by an ardent artist.

Noah looked at the camera with a serene smile.

"Life is a masterpiece," he said, out of breath as he stood upon the hill, capturing the water behind him, "Each day is a new brush stroke adding to its beauty.”

The video ended with a shot of the sky, Noah's laughter dancing into the twilight.

His last phrase lingered into the silence:

"Remember to appreciate it."

memento mori.

tags:

@thefallennightmare @xxkittenkissesxx @deathblacksmoke @nyxisnotok @anameunmusical

@sitkowski @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86

@whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13

@somewhere-diamond @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak

@darkmxgician @sprokat @thatchickwiththecamera @reyadawn @xserenax-13

@philomenie @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @blend-in-with-the-madness @rumoured-whispers

@anything-more-than-human @blacksoul-27 @sweetwombatpizza

[itevilhag]

those who cling to death live...

joel miller x platonic!reader | joel miller x daughter!reader | joel miller x reader summary: a humorous but sincere talk about death.  warnings: mild angst, hurt/comfort, father-daughter dynamic, mentions of death, FLUFFFFFFF.  word count: 989 a/n: hiiiiiiiiiii, me again! so, this is the thing that I’ve been writing! this was supposed to be a one-shot but i’ve decide to split it into two parts, because i was feeling guilty about not posting anything yet, and i didn’t really want to keep anyone waiting, soooo here it is! hope you enjoy it! . . . "Are you afraid of-" you started to ask, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between you, Joel, who sat right next to you with his rifle in hand, and Ellie, who was curled up by the fire, out cold from the exhaustion of the long trek the three of you took today. "Of you? Yes." Joel interrupts you with a slight grumble in his voice. However, you knew that It held no bite. "Very funny, Joel. I am dying of laughter." you dramatically remarked, sarcasm dripping off your tongue heavily. He only chuckled lightly and shook his head, but gave no further words and continued on with his watch. And given that he hasn’t spoken much to either you or Ellie in the past few days after a group of raiders ambushed you, seeing him crack even the tiniest of smiles or hear a barely there chuckle from your incessant pestering or Ellie’s stupid jokes, you considered it a win. After a beat of silence, with the sounds of crickets chirping and the occasional crackle of the dying fire beside you, you asked again. "Do you know what I'm afraid of?" 

Joel shot you a tired look and sighed before answering. "I don't know, what?" 

"Dying," you answered quietly as your eyes focused on the fire in front of you. In your peripheral, you saw Joel visibly go rigid beside you, and It reminded you of the way Joel's demeanor would change when he heard the crack of twigs in the distance or phantom voices flowing through the air while on a trek or keeping watch at night, the need to protect his young heightening before telling you and Ellie to stay close to him and be more alert. 

He slowly turned his head to look at you, and you took his silence as an encouragement to continue. "We live with death every day, but we know little about it." You thought softly, while Joel listened to you intently. 

"Like, what happens when you die? Is it like sleep? If it is, how do I know I'm dead? And what happens after that? Do I go somewhere, or is it just darkness, and it's like that forever?-" 

"Kid, you're not gonna die." Joel softly assured, and though you appreciate that he tried to soothe your worries, it did little to comfort you, you just had to let it out. 

"I know that! But-" you turned to face Joel, exasperation flowed out of you like a raging river until there was nothing left but a defeated sigh that made its way past your lips. Your shoulders sagged as you continued. "Eventually I will…"   

"And it terrifies you," Joel concluded.

"I know, It's silly," you chuckled humorlessly. "Because I see people die every day," 

The public FEDRA executions. 

The Infected. 

People caught within the crossfire at the QZ because of another Firefly attack. 

Your mother. Your sister.  

As you spoke, Joel noticed you absentmindedly touched your star shaped necklace, before your hand trailed down to your ring which had a spiraling red carnation wrapped around the band. 

"And I know that at some point it'll come for me too. I shouldn't be scared of it, but then I see the fear in their eyes-" 

"Please don't kill me. Please- NO!" 

The words of a dying man. The man that you had to shoot to save Joel and Ellie from a raider. It wasn't your first kill, but It was the first time you saw the fear of being on the other side of the gun. 

"'Can't even imagine what it feels like…to be out there helpless and alone. Just left with the fact that you're about to go and you can't do anything about it…" 

It broke Joel's heart to see nothing but fear cloud your eyes as they started to glaze over the fire once more. Someone as young as you shouldn't even have to think about death so much, despite it being the world you were born in. He felt guilty for having to subject both you and Ellie to the horrors of this world, for making you do something you shouldn't have had to do to save his life. 

"Hey…I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?" His tone is firm, but his words are gentle. A promise that he's going to do whatever it takes to fulfill. 

"You promise?" you asked, your voice quiet.

Joel, without hesitation, said. "I promise." 

"Now get some sleep, kiddo. I'll take it from here." Joel told you while he stood up to adjust his grip on the rifle, probably about to scout the perimeter again. 

"But, I'm taking watch with you." You lightly defended, your brows furrowed in confusion. 

"I'm not hearing it. Go to sleep." And grumpy old Joel was back again. And even though you wanted to fight him on it, exhaustion was catching up to you, so you let him win. Just this once. 

"Fine," you muttered begrudgingly and dragged yourself to your sleeping bag that was placed closer to where the fire and Ellie were. You wiggled into your sleeping bag, trying to get comfortable when you called out to Joel without waking Ellie up. 

"But, next time I'm taking full watch." you started as you smoothed down your bag and placed your pistol right next to your head.

 As you settled into the night, a thought popped into your head, which made a small grin grow on your lips. "With your rifle."  

You hear Joel lightly retort in the distance. "You wish."

"Oh, I will. I will wish very hard." 

You heard Joel's barely there chuckle. 

"Yeah, you do that." 

You closed your eyes with a grin on your face as sleep started to guide you into its embrace. 

Joel glances at you and Ellie from where he stands. A familiar warmth settled into his chest as he saw you two sleep peacefully.  

"Goodnight, kiddo."

[zhongrin]

bajsbdjs hi hello it's me, the anon who was complaining about childe always finding his way into my teams, and i come bearing great news:

i finally got alhaitham!!

i slapped on all the artifacts i prefarmed for him + harbinger of dawn (bc i don't have any good 5 star sword and he needs more crit rate) and wow. just. wow.

for context, my alhaitham is stuck at lvl 70 atm with his talents barely leveled up (only his e is up to level 3 lmao while his basic is at 2) and let me tell you, the way i CACKLED when i realized that not only does he absolutely shred all the bosses/camps i've thrown him at before his dendro infusion even ends, but he also kills the wenut faster than my childe (who has r1 skyward harp, 5-8-8 talents, and honestly better artifacts) does. i am on the floor, dying of laughter and honestly i don't think childe or i could ever recover from the fact that alhaitham outdps-ed the character who carried me through every boss, abyss, and domain in just one day.

to say that childe is pissed would be an understatement.

he's livid. he watches you dote and praise your beloved new dps, al dente or whatever his name is, spoil him with enhanced artifacts blessed by yours truly - a luxury he was deprived of despite his show of devotion for you, and just overall ignores him altogether when he's right there.

the brunette seethes when the newest addition to the team glances at him at hearing your detailed comparison, and he nearly shoots his hydro arrow in reflex when the insignificant vermin's eyebrows raises - as if mocking him.

oh, he'll show you.

he'll show you that he's stronger. better.

just like how he had always proven himself countless times on your journey.

at the end of the day, you'll come back to him again. he'll make sure of that.

[thoughtsafterdark]

Veni, Vidi, Vici

She exists, breathes, quirks her neck to the side, thinks, breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Soft air escaping baby pink lips like a moan, floating away and away. Her breaths are the kind you dream of. The deep contended sighs that carry you to sleep on a soft bed, toes burrowing into cold sheets. The peach haze memory of flaring nostrils in the backseat of your parents car on a late night trip when you were 3, the sound of rain pattering on the roof. The weight of your mother's arms around you as she carried you to bed. The comforting voice of your father in the next room.

And I think to myself, oh to be dead. To slash at my jugulars and pour myself all over her. To bathe her and tarnish her, pale white gooseflesh turned red and sticky, thighs matted together. To lie dying and festering at her feet, to rot and fill the grove with heat as her tears water my grave. To feed the nightcaps and worms until my nitrates become sweet nitrogen and at last she can breathe me in too. To be on the inside of her chest, rising and falling like the rolling tide. Pillowy and graceful like that of a swan. To mark her and paint in her a tapestry of indecency. An insult to the virgin goddesses she reminds me of. To love is to destroy. To collapse a wave function. We cannot see without touching, touch without seeing. Our hungry hungry eyes grow teeth.

She sits against windowsills, legs tucked underneath her, making notes, sipping coffee. I take her in before she notices me and the cold glass silence around her breaks. She is so gloriously mundane it exerts a kind of regal stillness. Her hair is chocolate brown, tinged with bronze. Like salted caramel on my tongue. Like straw spun to gold by cursed princesses in tales of old. She ties it into an effortlessly messy bun, stray strands framing her face, she is running late but is still put together. She is organised chaos. She is that girl. The one we all wanted to be, with the alarm and the watch and the bag and the car, the sports captain who eats pizza over the sink by the window. The one men want and we are meant to hate. She is voyeurism made flesh. She exists to be seen, a walking wet dream.

What kind of monster am I, who loves like a man. The way Orpheus loved Eurydice. Faithless and desperate.

She is steely moonlight across a grey green plain. Tendons and muscles gleaming, lithe and strong and leaping. Teeming with ichor. Amber eyes burning with resolve. Leather bow and quiver hitched over a shoulder as she glides across creaks, crouches in the underbrush. Nimble as a doe, fierce as a lioness. The huntress with the unforgiving gaze and the unwavering arrows. The one who skewers men and whispers to wildlife amongst the pines. Who nurses a tender and loyal heart. Artemis the eternal maiden, voice of the wilderness and protector of the young.

As I sit here on another grey drizzling morning in the hum of traffic I wonder if you remember. The sound of splashing water and girlish laughter, tangled limbs in freshwater lakes, honey sweet kisses like freshly pressed olive oil and figs. The crunch of red earth between toes and the hard rock cliffs at Ephesus, the glittering aquamarine of the Aegean below as we run and chase and hunt and spar until the copper tang burns our lungs.

I look at you now as you drive and I know that I would clutch at your putrid corpse and tell it stories of my pain, until my mother and comrades dragged you from me until I dragged your murderer three times around his own city until his father begged me for mercy until they mixed our ashes and laid us to rest on the hill.

Do you see it with the clarity I do? Our story already written? I know how this will end, as it has a thousand times before. But I wait for you every morning anyway, on the curb we've agreed on. I get into the car, I watch you drive. And every day I lose a little more of myself to the thing we will become .

[champangekisses]

Afterglow | R.C. & J.M.

Part One

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: swearing, banter, arguing, anger, suggestive, flirting

Summary: Reader’s first day back in the OBX after a year away is one to remember.

A/n: Part one to my first fic. I’m as excited as I am nervous to post this, I hope you enjoy!

All I could hear was the shouting, the constant rustle in the trees, the dogs barking uncontrollably. The flashlights shone through the trees and bushes as the sheriff and fellow deputies tried to desperately catch up to us. The fear set in, the rush of adrenaline still persistent in my body. I started to go numb as the limbs of the trees and bushes consistently smacked me all over. Then finally it happened, right before my eyes—my greatest fear became my living nightmare.

One Month Earlier

“Y/n! Make sure you pack yourself something nice to wear, remember no white!” My mom yelled up to remind me for the one hundredth time from the base of the stairs. I left the OBX a year ago, moved out to the middle of nowhere with my mom and her new husband and started a completely new life with them. Today, I finally get to go home, but unfortunately only for a week.

The Thornton’s eldest daughter is getting married off to some kid who graduated from law school, nothing special other than the groom comes from a wealthy family, and that's all that really matters out there. Keeping the rich - rich. My mom was always obsessed with the idea of me having a lifestyle almost identical to hers but I never was one for the shinier things in life, I just wanted to smoke pot and surf.

I had a plan though, she had always promised me that we would return off of one condition. “You will never see those worthless kids ever again.” Her words replayed in my head like the unmistakable tune of the piano keys I kept tapping ever so faintly as I waited by her bedroom entry, only to retain her opinion of the attire I had picked for the dreadful day to come.

“Y/n? Do you need something?” I quickly zoned back in, collecting all of the vindictive thoughts and stuffing them in a folder labeled drafts. I turned quickly to face her, she was in the middle of packing almost every nonessential item in her bathroom.

I gradually made my way to her bedside, settling down while staring at the ardent red dress in the palm of my hands. “What do you think about this one?” I spoke excitedly, masking the deceitful thoughts I was creating effortlessly in my head.

“I love it! The red dress has always been my favorite.” Her eyes glimmered at the thought of seeing me finally fit in with the kooks or as my step dad would say, the well educated kids. I gave a gentle smile to her before proceeding back through her reimposed bedroom doorway, gliding my fingers ever so delicately over the keys of the piano once more before continuing back up the staircase.

The trip there was awful and boring, outside of the plane windows you saw nothing but the many shades of green, luckily we were there within the matter of a couple hours. We took the latest flight that ultimately landed us at Charleston around eight in the evening. Exhaustedly as I am, I took it into my best interest to sleep during the next three and a half hours of our drive to the Outer Banks.

My body started lightly being pulled in one direction, then the other with every winding turn the old road took. With my eyes closed and slowly waking up, I started imagining the scenery of the old famous hang out at John B's. It was like dreaming in slow motion, watching as the sun kissed the water while we overcame the dying urge for a good time with uncontrollable laughter. Before my imagination concluded the car slowed, turning unhurriedly through massive gates that sat imperishable at the end of the elongated driveway.

Pulling up to the front doors of the old Tanneyhill Estate, I glanced into a dining room window staring at the distinctive profile of well-known Rafe Cameron. Our arrival made the inevitable distraction from the conversation at the dinner table which caused him to turn, concentrating on the moving vehicle on the other side of the very same window. The car stopped and I regained focus, grabbing my hand bag from the floorboard of the SUV before undoing my seatbelt.

Glancing down at my phone to check the time, I rested my hand on the door handle. Before I could put the energy into finally pulling it towards me, Ward swiftly swings the car door open—smiling almost as if he has never seen such a wonderful sight in his life. While demanding he help my stepdad with an argumentative tone, he reaches out for my hand and mildly holds it to help me out of the car.

I mumble a soft thanks before glancing to the front doors, locking eyes with the golden boy. Meanwhile behind me, Ward was continuing to the next car door, assisting with any need my parents had. Rafe never broke eye contact, even when he shifted his posture to lean against the framework, crossing his ankles while his hands stayed in his pockets. His smirk turned into a devilish grin that wreaked nothing but chaos. He sent chills that vibrated my bones, and even once received was not sufficient enough for the goosebumps coming to life on my neck.

I stared at the walkway in front of me, with each step the pit in my stomach grew. I could feel his eyes on me like the force of rain during a downpour. The closer we were, the weight of his stare grew even more burdensome. I felt so compliant around him, so timid. I finally reached the top of the stairs, I swung my arm out to grab the handle but Rafe had already beaten me to it. My hand gently landed on his, my anxiety quickly rising as I ripped mine back to me. His daunting smile let out a faint chuckle that only I could hear.

“If I don't get the door for you, I'm sure I'll hear about it later from my dad.” His tone was so taunting, as if he wanted me to react. I continued through the entry room, following the long narrow hallway to the backside of the home. Sarah was sitting on the love seat that was shared by her younger sister Wheezy. She wasted no time swiftly moving her head to look at the shadowed figure stepping into the light of her living room. Sarah immediately shot up, pushing everything from her lap directly on top of her sister. I prepared my body for the impact of Sarah’s as she pulled me in. We stayed continuously hugging for what felt like forever—neither of us comprehending quite yet that we were in reality. Ward hurried with the luggage, trying to push us in and assign us our rooms. We wasted no time getting ready for bed, I was anxious for what my tomorrow would bring.

I ended up sleeping in for far too long though, waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs way past the time I should be. Shooting myself up off the floor, I scurried into the bathroom across the hall. I shut the door quickly and immediately started the shower water. The only problem was that I forgot the clothes I needed to change into, so I wrapped a towel around me as my hair stayed drenched. Cracking the door open, I checked the hallway making sure nobody was able to witness the embarrassment I was about to endure. I darted across the hall, running through the entry of the bedroom I assumed was mine. I slammed the door a little too hard before turning around to look for my nonexistent clothes on the floor. Rafe, laying down on his bed, props himself up using his forearm and elbow.

“Since when did we share a room?” I jump by the sudden question asked towards me, not prepared to potentially be interrogated. I almost lose my towel in the process while Rafe begins to chuckle at my distress.

“Excuse me?” I questioned as I felt my face starting to warm as his stare intensed.

“You’re excused.” He replied with a smirk as his tone quickly became playful, I started to become flustered before popping off on him.

“You disrespectful brat! All of our interactions have ended with me being uncomfortable. You couldn’t even open the door for me out of courtesy when we first arrived! Now I'm here, sitting in a towel and you won’t even get up and help save me from this embarrassment! You’re such a jackass.” My voice started to raise as the fire within me started to spread.

Rafe shot up out of the bed as if he was being demanded to by a drill sergeant. His mood switched, intimidating was an understatement. He approached me with the same devilish smile he once had just last night, his hand reached out to hold my jaw—gentle yet firm. My breathing stopped, I couldn’t even say a word to him. Rafe brought his mouth to my ear, the closer he got the more submissive I became.

“Do you really want me to leave?” His voice made my skin crawl, my heart started pounding and my breathing came back but in manual.

“Get off of me, you mutt.” I smacked his hand away from my face which caused him to laugh before his tone shifted once again and he turned away from me.

“Get out.” He demanded. I felt even more embarrassed, I glanced at my feet noticing that I still wasn't dressed yet and it was going on late morning. I started to make my way to the door as Rafe seated himself on his bedside, I grabbed the handle and swung open his door. Walking out as if I meant to, I attempted to keep my confidence. I knew all too well that he watched me leave, my mom’s words played in my head as I proceeded down the hall once more. A dog will always remain a dog.

I finished getting dressed before making my way to the kitchen, my mom already had a cup of coffee waiting for me.

“What happened to you? I heard you get out of the shower and then it took you quite some time to get ready.” My face began to burn, Rafe’s words replicating a broken record in my head. My eyes wide open looking down at my feet with the mug full of coffee to my mouth, I sipped at it before placing it back down onto the island where she was sitting.

“I had some trouble with putting my outfit together.” I replied, hoping that was enough to get her off of my back. I couldn’t exactly tell her what happened or she would take it as a connection and mentally start wedding planning.

“Y/n! Come over here!” Sarah yelled from the back patio. My mom shaking her head in approval, I went on my way from the previous conversation and walked into an even more enlightened one. Sarah approached me with a growing smile while pulling what looked to be Topper away from Rafe whom he was actively having a conversation with. Rafe from afar glanced over at them approaching me before sitting down on patio furniture and gluing his face to his phone.

“Y/n, I wanted you to be reintroduced to my now boyfriend, Topper.” Sarah announced as I smiled, knowing that eventually they would connect. Topper has always had something special for Sarah, it was only a matter of time before she noticed.

I stepped aside from the conversation, staring off into the distance, watching the waves ever so lightly wash against the dock and the sailboats glide effortlessly against the water. I missed this, but I missed my friends more than anything. I stood there, with my mug in my hand and the coffee sitting dormant inside soon growing cold. Dreaming of the moment I see them, the Pogues.

Then, as my imagination settled, a figure started walking towards the house from the dock. Taking all of my attention away from my long forgotten wishes, they looked worn from a long day's work. When they grew closer to the back patio we shot each other a curious glance, our eyes locked which then became intense within seconds. I lost my grip, everything going numb before the mug shattered beneath me.

John B.

My lifelong best friend, walking through the yard of my now greatest enemy. Not one soul wasted time to come to my side, except for Rafe. He kept a glare on John B. as he continued down the pathway, you could see in his dark malevolent eyes that he was not welcomed here by him. Meanwhile, Ward ran to us from around the house while my mom and Rose came from the back doors.

“Y/n are you okay!? What happened!?” My mom grabbed my wrists and pulled me to her for a reply.

“N-nothing mom, I'm fine. Please.” I pushed away from her, running inside as Ward cleaned the pieces of porcelain. I went straight to the bathroom, not even sparing a moment to close the door. I turned on the cold water from the sink, staring motionless at the unrecognizable girl in the mirror while my eyes started to burn as the tears formed. I cupped the freezing water before bending over to splash it on my face, hiding any evidence of my emotion.

“I can’t believe I'm asking this but, are you okay?” With both hands gripping the bathroom counter I turned my head sharply to the door, Rafe stared at me with one eyebrow slightly raised while keeping one hand on the doorframe for support as he stood. I gave an angry chuckle before I collected myself.

“Yes, I'm fine. You can go now.” I seethed, Rafe rolled his eyes before making his way back down the hallway, mumbling the entire time before he stepped outside and back to tending to his dad’s needs. I wouldn’t go back outside, solely to prevent myself from becoming even more embarrassed by the scene I left behind. I went into the kitchen, watching my mom and Rose laugh over something that I had absolutely no interest in hearing about. Rose kindly handed me a glass of water before asking if I was okay. I felt myself turn pink, before I could even thank her and reassure her Sarah ran in from outside.

“Y/n! If you’re up for it, Topper wants to take us out for a ride in his new boat?” I turned to my mom waiting for her approval before running away from this nightmare. She sent me a soft smile before returning to her gossip session. I followed Sarah back out to the patio, ignoring the urge to apologize a hundred times for the mess I had created.

The boat wasn’t much to brag about, I don’t even remember the name of it honestly. I did enjoy the scenery though, and being able to let the water hug my fingers as we cruised back toward the dock. As we pulled up to tie off Rafe just couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer

“So Y/n, why did you freak out like that back there at the house?” He questioned with an upward curve forming at the corner of his mouth. It made Sarah and Topper turn their heads to give me their full attention, and I couldn’t help but to glare at Rafe. This made him smile, his sunglasses hiding his eyes that had probably nothing but pure enthusiasm as he taunted me.

“So Rafe, why did you come check on me when I ran inside?” I teased, his smile soon fading while Sarah and Topper turned their heads back forward, hiding the smiles they held from the total humiliation they had just witnessed. Rafe had nothing to say but I felt accomplished knowing I officially put the pretty boy in his place, reminding him that two can play his game.

Once Topper tied the boat off we all hopped out. Rafe was of course the first one while I was last, which I didn’t mind because I wouldn’t want the help out. We all walked back to the house together until I realized I had forgotten my sandals, I turned around not even sparing a second to tell anybody. I hopped back into the boat and within seconds had found them, once I stepped out a familiar voice chimed in my ears.

“Hey there, stranger.”

My heart skipped a beat as I instinctively turned my head to look on the second level of the yacht that sat beside me. We made eye contact before I cracked a smile.

“I'll be damned; John B. Routledge.” I replied, he already had a glowing smile on his face, the same one as when we first met in school.

“Why don’t you come down here so we can be on the same level?” I tried to convince him, but luckily for me he had the same idea. John B hurried down, grabbing onto the side of the boat for him to throw himself over. While running to me to trap me in a hug, the strongest one I've been in so far. He pulled away from me but not letting go just yet.

“Y/n, you have to come to the bonfire tomorrow night. Everybody will be there and I know Kie, Pope and JJ would love to see you.” He encouraged me as I froze, not knowing how to explain that my parents absolutely despised him and the Pogues.

“I’m sure we will see each other. I know Topper and Sarah have been talking about going while we were out today.” I replied warily. John B had a concerned look on his face that had a splash of frustration before popping the one question I wished he hadn’t.

“So, you’re hanging out with the Kooks now?” I pushed him away from me.

“It's not as easy as you think it is to go back to how I once was; I have strict rules to follow and if I want to stay here for as long as I intend to do so, I have to play along.” I retorted as he stared at me wide-eyed. I knew he was confused and probably a little hurt by my reaction but that was the easiest way to tell him. I was suffocating myself staying in that home but I had another six days to try to prove to my parents that we should come back.

“I’m sorry John B., but my parents told me the only way I could come back is if I stay away from you. But -” I bit my lip, staring off into the horizon as the sun started to trinkle its way down to the water. John B grew impatient while I questioned myself to tell him my plan.

“But what Y/n?” He whined, making me snap out of my trance.

“But—if they just think I am a Kook, then they should get convinced quickly. Making it easier to hang out with you, since you know…they won’t be keeping a close eye on me.” John B sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he kept a stare down at the boards of the dock.

“I mean, I don’t think we have any other choice.” He replied looking back up to me, a soft smile formed once more on his face.

“Look at it this way; we finally got the Pogues back.” I smiled in response, it felt refreshing talking to John B. His voice reminded me of the soft waves as they caress the sand on the shore, the crackle of a fire that's burning at night to devour the darkness around you.

“I will see you tomorrow John.'' I smiled as I turned away from him.

“Don’t keep me waiting Y/L/N.” he replied as I started my way back to the house, blushing with a smile as I continued down the dock.

John B. was my best friend. I would be lying if I said he wasn't cute, but my eyes were on somebody else—precisely from a year ago. I stepped in through the doors that welcomed me back into the kitchen. Ward had taken Rose and my parents out for a nice dinner on the water for a warm welcome home. Sarah, Topper and Wheezy got dressed in time for the remaining two hours to be filled with laughter in the pool out back. I rounded the corner into the hallway before I was stopped by none other than Rafe, he was leaning against the wall with a look of disappointment growing on his face.

“So what was that all about?” He questioned, I stood there making awkward eye contact. Was he watching me?

“Hello?” Rafe poked once more, I furrowed my eyebrows before sending him an attitude.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” I pushed myself past him as he turned to watch me leave.

“It could be mine or it could be your parents’.” He barked back to me. I stopped walking as he slowly progressed towards me. I stood in fear of what my parents would do if they ever knew. I could feel his presence behind me, the goosebumps rising on my back and arms like a mountain range protruding through my skin. I turned around, finally gaining the courage to face him.

“Excuse me?” The anger spilling through my teeth.

“You heard me.” Rafe shot back at me, as if he planned out exactly what I would say to him. He lived for this, the mess he creates in my head and the endless ways he taunts me just to get me to react. He was a soulless, mediocre bastard of a person. The devil was such an understatement at this point, I only wanted to hit him but I wouldn't hear the end of it from my parents.

“Leave them at the cut, Y/n. You’re on figure eight now. You need to start acting like it.” I scoffed at him before ditching the conversation by walking away and into the guest bedroom I was staying in. Rafe followed, but stayed at the door.

“Don’t think that I don’t know how bad you want to come home, if I was you I would hang with us.” He suggested, I sit on the bedside before looking over to Rafe, one eyebrow raised before laughing at him.

“You really think I want to be friends with you? Sarah is the only kook I actually enjoy being around, but you? You are a plague that walks the earth, you only want to cause harm and enjoy watching as everything falls apart. I would never want to be associated with you, ever.” I felt my rage start to rummage through me as Rafe rolled his eyes before shutting the door, mumbling some more as he made his way back down the hallway towards the kitchen.

I put myself to bed, anxious that Rafe now has something to control me with, but how did he know that I wanted to come home? I’ve only told Sarah, and I know she wouldn’t ever tell Rafe anything, so was he eavesdropping? I brushed it off ultimately, it doesn’t matter how he found out. What matters now is that he knows.

After my cup of coffee with my mom the next morning, I wasn’t too excited to be having to go to the bonfire with the Kooks, but I don’t really have a choice right now. I tagged along with Sarah for the afternoon while Topper and Rafe did. I don’t know, Topper and Rafe things?

“So Y/n, what made you change your mind about the bonfire? When Topper and I brought it up, you seemed super uninterested.” Sarah didn’t hold back her question as she was incredibly suspicious. It caught me off guard so I took a minute to think about my response.

“Honestly, I just needed to get out and enjoy myself since I'm not promised more than this week.” I lied while the pit in my stomach grew. What if I don't stay? What if I go back? I couldn’t stand the thought of it, but I had to prepare myself for the worst. Sarah didn’t seem too convinced with my answer, giving me a raised eyebrow with a smirk following really gave it away.

“Okay, well we need outfits for tonight. Almost everybody in the OBX will be there, sometimes school aged visitors show up too if they’re looking to get away from their family.” Sarah continued on about the bonfire, while I searched through the never ending clothes racks. We finally finished our shopping spree and made it back in enough time to get ready for the fire. I was a tad anxious not knowing if I looked good in what I picked. Honestly though, every woman out here has the same fashion sense unless you're a visitor. As Sarah was finishing up I gradually made my way to the kitchen, lazily pouring myself a glass of water before becoming interrupted with an unwanted guest. Leaning against the counter’s edge closest to me, Rafe rested his chin in the palm of one of his hands while sneakily trying to reach under the cabinet for his father’s whiskey with the other.

“Can I help you?” I mucked up the courage to speak while avoiding any eye contact, back facing the glare I knew he was giving me.

“Your shorts, pull them down some.” He spoke as if he was agitated, I immediately felt the rage take over my body once more as if I was becoming a wildfire that couldn’t be put out.

“How dare you comment on my shorts! You don't own me nor my body nor my mind, and I will never and I mean absolutely never do a single thing you tell me to do!” I screamed at Rafe in a tone as if I was scolding a troubled teen, but he wasted no time to crack a smile before chuckling a bit, switching positions so his back can rest on the wall behind him and tucking his hands back into his front pockets before closing his eyes and pulling his head down towards the floor beneath him.

“I never said to take them off, but when your shorts are riding so high that it looks as if your ass is suffocating it just looks…I don't know, it's funny.” He replied with a soft attitude, the embarrassment raced across my face as if it was in a marathon going for first place. Swiftly yet unsuspiciously, I grabbed the bottom of one side of my shorts as I tightened the grip I had on the glass with my other, tugging the god forsaken things down as much as I could. Rafe had a steady grin while keeping his eyes closed, knowing only too well what I was doing. I gulped down the cold water before flipping the glass upside down in the kitchen sink, then without a second thought started my way back to Sarah’s room. Leaving Rafe with his new found bottle of whiskey, and the satisfied smirk he continued to hold onto that only made the night jealous with how dark its intentions were.

I quickly stepped into Sarah’s room, shutting the door with my back before elegantly sliding down until my bottom touched the freshly installed carpet. I shut my eyes before exhaling the breath I held in for what felt like eternity.

God, I hate him.

My mind was full of anger while my body said otherwise, I couldn’t ignore the fact I desired him. Everything he does, he knows it’s working as if he needs me to want him. As if he wants me to need him.

“How does this look?” Sarah’s voice intruded my thoughts. Luckily, she didn’t seem concerned for my growing silence moments after following the slight blush spreading across my cheeks.

“I think you look great. Are you finally ready?” I quickly spoke, before jumping to my feet with a mask of excitement that only hid pure anxiety. We made our way down the spiral staircase, following Sarah’s lead as we made it to the last step. My fingers effortlessly slid down the white handrail as every imperfection of the wood protruded from the thick sealant, so well that I was forced to acknowledge the splinter left behind from it. I winced at the pain as Sarah bolted to Topper, jumping into a hug which resulted in the air being filled with laughter.

I realized a little too late that I should’ve brought a jacket to the bonfire. The ocean left little kisses on my cheeks as the breeze picked up, which carried the slightest bit of mist from the crashing waves in the distance.

“Y/n?” Topper spoke out softly, my concentration returning to him as I snapped out of the trance that the water had on me.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” I asked, ignoring the worrisome look on his face as he continued.

“Why exactly do you wear that ring all the time? You’re not like, engaged are you?” You shared a quick chuckle with the blond as you mindlessly played with the tiny band with your thumb, examining the delicate piece of silver that carried a microscopic engraved heart. Your mother requested it to be on there, she said it would add character or something like that.

“Oh, this little thing? It’s a purity ring, gifted to me by my parents for my birthday last year.” I answered, glancing back up to Topper who was taking another swig of his beer before lowering the bottle with a soft sigh and pink cheeks.

“Oh, interesting. Uh, do you see Sarah anywhere? She said she was grabbing herself another drink but she never came back.” He asked as the air thickened with tension, his eyes frantically scanning the faces of the individuals in front of us.

“I just want to make sure she’s o…” I turned to face him, curious yet concerned about what had made him lose his train of thought. His eyes darkened while his knuckles turned white from gripping the now empty bottle in his hand, I couldn’t get a word out before he made his way forcefully through the hoard of people in between us and his target.

I scan the crowd ahead of him before my eyes land on Sarah talking to John B. My heart started racing as I prepared myself for the conflict about to happen. Looking at my surroundings frantically, I feel a hand snake around my waist.

“Now, how has the Kook life been treating you?” A familiar voice spoke out while leaning towards my ear, the music so loud it was almost impossible to think.

My heart fluttered as every butterfly made its way to my stomach as I turned to face him, JJ’s smile matching mine as we sat in silence for what felt like eternity. I would leave this Kook life within a blink of an eye if it meant I could stay here in this moment with him forever, and surely by the looks of it, he felt the same. I glanced down at my beer, a soft pink grew on my cheeks but luckily the dim light of the fire hid my embarrassment quite extensively.

“Terrible.” I whispered, looking back into his eyes with only inches of separation between us. His breath reeked of bourbon and cigarettes while his eyes searched mine, as if trying to find the life they once emitted. Sadness soon filled the space between us as the memories washed over him and I. We stood in complete silence as if we were waiting for the other to speak, sharing the suffocating tension we had created. I stepped towards him, never breaking the gaze we held as I wrapped one arm around his neck and closed the space between us with a hug.

“I just want to come home J.” I whimpered in his ear while trying my best not to shed a tear, especially not at a party full of Kooks.

“Then come home, baby.” JJ hummed before hugging me tightly. Before I could process what I had just done, a scream echoed through the area and I remembered.

Topper.

[simsim54]

2017: You are 13 and your friend introduces you to a song, and makes you learn it’s lyrics and then asks you to hear it in real life and then you, go to a cousin’s home just to listen that one song on youtube, and the moment you ears fill with those voices calling singing what makes you beautiful and the moment your eyes land on those 5 boys you are gone for life, but in that moment you don’t know that, you are just experiencing your first crush or first five crushes.

2018: You are 14 and your life has changed, you are obsessed with a band called one direction and listening to their music is your entire personality, you know everything about them, you know every song, you know their birthdays, their blood groups, the time and place and even weight of their births, you know what they like and what they don’t, you’ve watched every video there exists of those 5 boys and you are in love, you are also heartbroken because you know that the band is on a 18 month hiatus and you came to know of them only after they had broken up, you weren’t there when one of the boys left, but your heart still aches at that very thought.

2019: You are 15 and you know that 18 months was a lie, but you don’t let that deter you, you are still as obsessed, you’ve now started following all the boys solo career and spend your days making playlists for all your moods, you sing strip that down out loud every time you take a bath, you are hooked on back to you, flicker and sign of the times make you cry so much and i don’t wanna live forever makes you feel like you are part of dark romance story, you have a fan account now on both instagram and twitter and there you’ve meet the most amazing people who match your level of crazy, you celebrate 10 years of one direction and wish you had known them longer.

2020: You are 16 and the world has gone to shit, you are stuck inside your house and people all around you are dying and it sucks because you don’t know if you would be next, but there is still hope for there is one british boy from the band you love so much, who is doing virtual concerts and while you know you can not really afford the tickets of real concerts these you can, so you beg your mother, give up all you savings, and then you buy a ticket, you are so excited and the day comes and it is the best day ever, you have not known happiness like that before, you make your little brother sit with you and watch the whole show and make him fall in love with the man on the stage just like i did 4 years back, once it ends you cry but you are also left with hope knowing that somehow you will make through the pandemic.

2021: You are 17 and life has been tough, you’re still stuck inside your house, but it is easier now, you’ve learnt how to live like this, and you know that even when things get tough there are some people out there whose voices make everything better, school is kicking your ass but you still find time watch the video diaries and find your laughter in theirs, you make a bucket list for yourself and write all the things you want to do before you die and the first thing on the list is that you want to see the boys perform live, just once, you want to meet the people who taught you to live.

2022: You are 18 and are now in college, it is tough and there are days that you are so tired that you don't even have the energy to charge your phone, studies are so hard and the only way you can concentrate is if made in the am is blasting in the background on full volume, you don't really post on your fan account anymore, but you open it from time to time just to check on the family you made there, you listen to there new music and makes you so proud and excited for all the success they are gaining for they deserve it so much, you are an adult now and it's been 12 years of one direction and you are sill hoping for a reunion, even if it seems unlikely now.

2023: You are 19 and you've started to feel a bit old, you meet someone who does not know who one direction is and you are shook at the fact that you along with your boys are so old now, but you also know that is just life, you've started writing stories a lot in your free time, most of which are based on lyrics for 1d song, you even manage to get an award for a story you wrote based on live forever, if only you knew back then how much listening to that song will hurt the future you, you are still a directioner but you are more of a harrie, louie, lover, payno and zsquad, and even if it hurts you are also happy because this is what makes your boys happy and that's what matters the most doesn't it?

2024: Your are 20 and you’ve heard the most devastating news of ever, you’ve spent the entire night finishing your assignment and you are finally winding up and you get an email and the headline stares at you while you stare at it right back, you are not ready to accept it, you just saw his story an hour back, but your brain knows that it’s the truth, so you are crying, silent sobs for you don’t want anyone to wake up and get worried, you are checking all the social media sites and it’s everywhere and now there’s a hole in your heart that nothing will ever fill, you text your friend, the very friend who introduced you to them 7 years back, the very friend with whom you have planned to attend every single 1d members concert, but she is asleep and you don’t call her because you want her to get the sleep you know you won’t, so you just lie there on your bed staring up at your ceilings with your tears gathering on the pillow under your head, you watch the sun come up and you hear you mom call you to wake up and you do and then you check your phone again because you still hope it was a lie, it is not, and you see and read things you wish you hadn’t, you turn off your phone after that, you tell your mom what happened when she asks what happened on seeing your red eyes, she tells you she is sorry and that hurts more because you’ve lost something you never really had and even your mom knows how much this is affecting you, you put on a brave face and try to get through the day but you end up crying alone in your college's washroom because you just can't stop thinking about, by the time the day ends you are so exhausted from crying, from thinking, from everything, you were happy to be in a world where liam payne existed even if he did not know about you, but now you have to live in a world where he doesn't exist at all, and it's all gone, all your plans for the future of meeting him, of watching him perform in front of your eyes, of getting to hug him and maybe take a picture, but he is gone, and one direction is gone, for one direction can not ever exist without him, and nothing else matters anymore.

rest in peace, liam payne, you were loved, so much

[peppymintdreams]

uh hey forgive me for this but uh could you write Luca x reader that’s dying from a disease I am curious as to what he’d do if they’d slowly die especially considering out of all saku’s characters he’s the only one that’s married (maybe Andrew will)

You are... EVIL THIS IS ABOSOLUTLY EVIL but because i love you all i will write this for you my child... i will note that i actually cried writing this i had to watch golden girls to help me through this so enjoy this very depressing novel i wrote and please don't bring pitch forks and torches to my door.

 “Fading”

The room was unnaturally still, the only signs of life: the mechanical beeps of the heart monitor, the soft hiss of the oxygen machine, and the muted shuffle of nurses outside the door. The air felt heavy, thick with the sharp scent of antiseptic and quiet dread that clung to every sterile surface. Luca sat slumped in a worn chair beside your bed, his fingers interlaced tightly with yours as if holding on for dear life. His knuckles were white, gripping you like he could keep you here, keep you from slipping away. His eyes, rimmed red from days of sleeplessness, flickered between the machines and your pale, fragile face, searching for any sign of improvement though he knew, deep down, what was happening.

The world beyond these four walls felt distant now, like a place he couldn’t reach anymore. The sun streaming through the window each morning was too bright, almost mocking him with its warmth. Out there, nothing felt real. No sunlight, no laughter, everything good was here, lying in the hospital bed before him, slowly fading. He hadn’t left your side for days. He refused to. Sleep had become an impossible luxury; food held no appeal, not when you couldn’t even eat. Every taste felt like ash in his mouth. There was only you and the endless waiting for something, anything, to change.

Luca’s body ached from exhaustion, every muscle sore, but none of it mattered. It couldn’t compare to the ache in his chest that had settled there ever since the doctors had broken the news to him. The cold, clinical words had shattered his world. But even with no hope left, he hadn’t given up on you. He couldn’t. He had spent the last week trying to surround you with everything that had ever brought you joy, hoping, in vain, that it might spark something inside you, something to bring you back.

On the small table beside the bed, he had placed a bouquet of white lilies, your favorite flowers though they had begun to wilt, neglected in the oppressive quiet. Next to them, a box of your favorite chocolates sat untouched, waiting for a moment that might never come. He had even brought books stacks of them, because you loved to read but they remained unopened on the nightstand. A small stuffed bunny, one he had won for you on your date at the carnival, sat perched on the window ledge, its once bright eyes now dulled by the dim light filtering through the blinds. A framed picture of the two of you, laughing and carefree, stood beside the bed a reminder of better times, of a happiness that now felt so far out of reach.

Luca rubbed his tired eyes, his free hand brushing against the small silver necklace he always wore the one you had given him, shaped like a tiny star. “So you’ll always have a piece of me, no matter where you are,” you’d said when you placed it around his neck. Now it felt like a cruel reminder of what he was about to lose. He stared down at your face, memorizing every detail: the curve of your lips, the faint freckles that dotted your skin, the softness of your hair. You were still beautiful, but it was a fragile beauty now, delicate, as if you might shatter under the weight of it all.

“I got you flowers, babe,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and cracked from days without use. He didn’t know why he kept talking to you; you hadn’t responded in days, but he couldn’t stop. “They’re lilies. Your favorite. I thought… maybe when you wake up, you’d want to see them.” His voice faltered, his smile brittle. “And I got you chocolates… I didn’t eat any, I swear. They’re all for you.”

His eyes drifted back to the lilies. He reached out, brushing a petal with trembling fingers. “They’re wilting,” he muttered, voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t think that could happen here… It’s like everything around you is giving up.” A tear slid down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away. “But I’m not,” he added fiercely, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m not giving up on you. I can’t. You’re still here with me… You’re still here, okay?”

His gaze dropped to your hand, the one still tangled with his. The ring he had put on your finger that felt like it was not so long ago was loose now, hanging on by the thinnest grasp, almost slipping from its place just like you. The sight broke something in him, a silent scream caught in his chest. You had lost so much weight, your body withering away, as if the disease had drained every ounce of life from you, leaving behind nothing but a shadow of who you once were.

He carefully adjusted the ring, sliding it back into place, his fingers trembling. "It doesn't fit anymore," he whispered, voice cracking. "But I... I can't take it off. I won't."

But the silence that followed was deafening, the rhythmic beeps of the machines and the faint rise and fall of your chest the only response. The waiting, the helplessness was killing him slowly. Yet he held on. He had to, even as he felt you slipping further away with every passing second.

The doctors’ words still echoed in his mind, each syllable hitting him like a sledgehammer to the chest.

“There’s nothing more we can do. The disease is too advanced. Your body’s attacking itself, your organs are failing, and eventually... it will be too much.”

Corpse syndrome, they had said, as if slapping a label on it made it any easier to bear. The medical term felt like a cruel joke, a cold, clinical way to describe something so monstrous. The doctors hadn’t sugarcoated it, but it didn’t make the reality any easier to swallow.

He looked at you now, his beautiful, fragile spouse. You looked so small in that bed, your once vibrant self reduced to a frail shell of who you used to be. Luca’s heart ached with the memories of better days, when your laughter would fill the room, when you would teasingly steal the last piece of chocolate from him, or when you’d snuggle against him on lazy Sunday mornings, your kitten Mocha curled at your feet.

You had so much life in you then. Now, it felt like that life was slowly draining away, one agonizing second at a time.

Luca’s eyes flickered down to your hand in his, his thumb absentmindedly stroking your knuckles. Your skin was pale, almost translucent, and cold to the touch. He remembered a time when your hand in his was always warm, soft, reassuring. Now, it was as if your warmth was being stolen by something he couldn’t fight, something neither of you could.

“I don’t know what to do,” Luca whispered, his voice cracking. He leaned in closer, his forehead gently resting against your hand. “I don’t know how to help you… I’m so scared.”

His voice trembled, and his body shook with the weight of unspoken fears. He wasn’t the strong one. Not here. You had always been his rock, the person who made everything make sense. You were calm in his storm, and now… he was losing you.

Luca squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back the tears that burned behind his lids. He had to be strong, for you. He couldn’t fall apart, not yet. But the pain… It was suffocating.

He exhaled shakily and raised his head when he felt your fingers twitch in his hand. His heart leaped in his chest as your eyelids fluttered, slowly opening. For a moment, it was as though the entire world held its breath, waiting.

“Hey…” Luca whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. He leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. “You’re awake…”

Your eyes found him, though it took a moment for them to focus. Even in your weakened state, there was recognition in them, a soft warmth that had not yet been extinguished. You gave him a small, tired smile.

“Luca…” Your voice was so faint, it was barely a whisper.

“I’m here,” he said quickly, squeezing your hand gently. “I’m right here.”

You swallowed with difficulty, your throat dry, and Luca hurried to pour a glass of water, gently guiding the straw to your lips. You took a small sip, your lips trembling with the effort. It hurt him to see you like this, every little action taking so much out of you.

“Thank you,” you rasped after a moment, closing your eyes as the strain of even that small effort washed over you.

Luca set the glass aside and sat back down, his fingers tracing idle circles on your hand. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence was heavy, weighted with the unspoken knowledge of what was coming.

Finally, you broke the silence. “How long?” you whispered, your voice thin and broken.

Luca’s chest tightened. He had been dreading this question, but he knew you deserved the truth. He swallowed hard, his voice catching in his throat as he forced himself to answer. “They… they don’t know. They can’t say for sure.” He tried to keep his tone steady, but the tremor in his voice betrayed him.

You closed your eyes again, your brow furrowing as you processed his words. “It’s getting worse,” you whispered. “Isn’t it?”

Luca couldn’t lie to you. Not now. “Yes,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… it’s getting worse.”

A long silence fell between you. Your hand in his felt so fragile, so breakable, and Luca was terrified terrified that if he held on too tight, you’d slip through his fingers completely. He wished more than anything that he could take it all away, that he could bear the burden of your pain himself. But he couldn’t. He was helpless. Powerless.

Your eyes opened again, and you looked at him with a sad sort of resignation. “I don’t want this,” you murmured, your voice trembling. “I don’t want to… leave you.”

Luca’s heart shattered all over again. The tears he had been holding back spilled over, and he brought your hand to his lips, pressing it against his cheek. “You’re not leaving me,” he said, his voice breaking. “You’re still here. We’re still here.”

You smiled faintly, though it was tinged with sadness. “For how long?”

The question hung in the air, raw and real. Luca didn’t know the answer. He didn’t want to know the answer. He just wanted time to stop, for everything to freeze so he could hold onto this moment, this fragile, painful moment forever.

“I don’t know,” he whispered finally, his voice barely audible.

You closed your eyes again, your breathing shallow and labored. “I hate this,” you murmured. “I hate… being so weak.”

Luca leaned forward, brushing his lips against your forehead, his tears mixing with your skin. “You’re not weak,” he whispered fiercely. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

But the words felt hollow, even to him. How could he convince you of something he didn’t believe in himself? You were fading, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The disease was relentless, unstoppable, and he was powerless to protect you from it.

Your breathing became more strained, and Luca could see the exhaustion weighing down your every movement. He knew your time awake was running out, that soon you’d fall back into that restless sleep where the disease would continue to ravage your body from the inside.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice so faint it was almost lost in the beeping of the machines.

Luca’s breath hitched, and he leaned down, pressing a trembling kiss to your forehead. “I love you too,” he choked out, his voice breaking with emotion. “I love you more than anything.”

You smiled faintly, but it was a tired, worn-out smile. “Don’t forget me,” you whispered, your eyelids fluttering as the weight of sleep began to pull you under.

“Never,” Luca whispered, his voice breaking. “I could never forget you.”

And then, as your eyes slipped shut, Luca was left sitting there, holding your hand, tears streaming down his face as he watched the person he loved most in the world slowly slip away.

The weight of those words settled heavily in the room, lingering in the sterile air like a presence all its own. Luca kept his gaze fixed on your face, memorizing every detail: the faint lines near your eyes, the curve of your lips, the gentle rise and fall of your chest with each shallow breath. Every bit of you felt sacred, etched into his memory even as you were slipping away.

He let out a shaky breath, his thumb still caressing your hand. "You know, I was just thinking..." His voice was barely a whisper. "About that time you dragged me out to that café on the edge of town. The one with the neon lights and the world’s worst coffee."

A faint smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded, though your eyes remained closed. "The one where you... complained the entire time?" you murmured, your voice laced with a gentle teasing.

Luca huffed a small laugh, though it broke halfway, twisting into something sadder. "Yeah. But... you kept insisting that it had the best view of the stars. And... you were right." His thumb paused, pressing into the back of your hand as he gathered the strength to continue. "I’ve never seen anything more beautiful since."

A silence fell between you, broken only by the gentle beeping of the machines. After a long pause, you spoke again, voice weak but resolute. "Luca... promise me something?"

"Anything," he replied instantly, his voice trembling.

"Promise me you'll keep looking at the stars... even when I can't."

Luca’s hand tightened around yours, his heart shattering anew. "I don’t know if I can. Not without you."

You opened your eyes, weak but still filled with that soft, steady warmth that had always grounded him. "Promise me," you whispered, a slight urgency in your tone.

He looked down, swallowing hard, and nodded. "I promise. I'll keep looking at the stars."

Your eyes fluttered shut again, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against your hand. "I wish I could give you more," he murmured, his voice thick with grief. "More time, more... everything."

In the faintest of whispers, you replied, "You've given me everything, Luca."

Minutes passed, stretching into something timeless and fragile. Luca didn’t move, afraid that if he let go, even for a moment, you would vanish altogether. And even as you drifted back into sleep, he stayed there, holding on to you as tightly as he could, whispering stories, memories, promises anything to keep the silence, and the inevitable, at bay.

The world outside the hospital felt alien and too bright, as if it didn’t understand the magnitude of what had just happened. Luca’s feet carried him on autopilot, away from the sterile walls, down endless hallways, and out through the sliding doors to the dimming evening. The cool air bit at his skin, grounding him, and yet his heart felt as if it had been left behind in that hospital room. He pulled his jacket closer around himself, numbly walking toward home.

The house was quiet when he entered. The sound of his own breaths echoed as he stepped through the door, the familiar scent of your favorite vanilla candle lingering faintly in the air. His eyes swept over the small, well-loved space you had both called home, but it felt foreign now, haunted. He set his keys down in the bowl by the door, next to yours, still there as if you’d be coming back to grab them.

Luca barely noticed the click of the lock, his steps dragging as he stepped inside. The air felt heavy, thick with memories, as if the walls themselves knew the weight of his grief. Everything was just as you’d left it, unchanged, yet so different without you there.

A soft meow pulled him from his daze. He looked down to see Mocha sitting by the door, her wide eyes fixed on him as she tilted her head, waiting. Her gaze flicked past him to the door, expectant, as if any second you’d be walking in behind him, greeting her with that familiar smile, a gentle scratch behind her ears. But when no one followed Luca in, she let out another soft meow, looking up at him with confusion.

“Oh, Mocha,” Luca murmured, his voice breaking. He reached down to scoop her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She nuzzled against him, but her eyes kept darting toward the door, a quiet hope lingering in them. Luca knew she didn’t understand. To her, you were just gone, and she couldn’t comprehend why. In her mind, you might return any moment, back from wherever you’d gone.

Carrying Mocha, he drifted through the house, letting his fingers brush over every memory of the photos on the walls, your favorite throw blanket draped over the couch, the coffee mug you had claimed as yours and yours alone, still sitting in its place on the kitchen counter. Each item whispered your presence, and yet each one stabbed at him with the bitter realization that you’d never use them again.

He made his way into the bedroom, where the bed was untouched still neatly made from the last morning you’d left it, as though you had simply stepped out and would return at any moment. Your pillow faintly retains the scent of your shampoo. Setting Mocha down gently, he looked around, feeling the weight of your absence press harder on his chest.

His gaze drifted to the nightstand, where your wedding photo stood in its frame. He reached for it, his fingers trembling as he lifted it closer, taking in the image that now felt like a lifetime ago. There you both were, in each other’s arms, lost in laughter. You were mid-laugh, caught off guard by something he had whispered, and he was gazing at you with the kind of quiet adoration he’d never had for anyone else. It was a moment captured in time, a promise, a future that now felt shattered.

Luca pressed his lips to the corner of the frame, as if he could somehow bridge the distance between that moment and the aching present.

Your clothes hung in the closet, vibrant and full of life, mocking the silence around him. He reached out, running his fingers along an outfit you had worn on your last anniversary, remembering how you had laughed and spun around in it, making him promise a thousand times that he’d take more pictures.

There was your jewelry, carefully organized in the little tray beside the bed. He could still see the imprint of your fingers, the slight tilt of the rings you wore daily. He picked up one of your necklaces, the one with the small, star-shaped pendant he had given you years ago. It was cold in his hands, and it sent a chill down his spine. This was something you’d never wear again; it would remain here, a relic of a life that had ended too soon.

Mocha meowed softly again, her gaze still flickering between him and the door, as if waiting, hoping that somehow her other human would come walking in.

“It’s just us now, Mocha,” Luca whispered, his voice hollow. “It’s just you and me.”

The kitten padded over to the edge of the bed, glancing at the door once more before curling up beside him, her small form a gentle, grounding warmth. He could still feel the imprint of your hand in his, the way you’d looked at him one last time, a faint smile despite the pain.

He took a shuddering breath and lay down on the bed, pulling the wedding photo close to his chest. The ache of loss settled deep within him, a wound that would never truly heal. As he lay there, holding onto the only memories he had left, Mocha curled up beside him, her head resting on his arm. He closed his eyes, feeling the void of your absence and yet clinging to the fragile threads of the life you’d shared.

staring to his left at his phone with trembling hands. He’d lost count of how many times he’d hovered over your contact, his thumb hesitating before finally pressing the call. There was something hauntingly surreal about it calling your number, knowing you wouldn’t answer, knowing that it was only a recording. But he needed to hear your voice, even if it was just a memory preserved in a voicemail.

The phone rang, each tone feeling like a painful echo in the empty silence of the house. He held his breath as he waited, his heartbeat quickening until, finally, it clicked to voicemail.

“Hey, it’s Mc! I can’t pick up right now, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, okay? Love you!”

Your voice was warm, cheerful, so alive in a way that felt almost cruel. He closed his eyes, letting your words wash over him, each syllable like a ghostly embrace. For a fleeting moment, he could almost pretend you were still here, just out of reach.

He listened until the message was cut off, then, without thinking, called again. And again. Just to hear you say it one more time, just to hear that “Love you” at the end. It was a piece of you he could still hold onto, even as the rest slipped further away.

When the voicemail finished for the last time, he stayed on the line, whispering quietly, “I love you, too… so much.”

But the line was empty, the connection was lost. Only the faint static answered him, and he sat there, phone still pressed to his ear, letting the silence consume him.

In the quiet, he could almost hear your voice, a whisper from the past. He held onto that, just as he held onto Mocha, lying together in the silence that neither of them knew how to fill.

End

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

rewatching the original star wars trilogy at the moment but i had to pause halfway through TESB because i think i'm one of the few people on earth that just cannot stand han solo's fuckboy attitude and gets super annoyed and disgusted with it idk it's not sexy to me, it just makes me feel icky. ANYWAY will be giving notes on those films when i've watched them all but i rewatched rogue one because it's my favourite star wars film and i'm an exhausted, tear stained mess rn enjoy these ramblings - spoilers under the cut

i love this film so much, could go on about it for ages and ages tbh but that would be a crazy long post even for my standards, so my biggest takeaways are that it's honestly the best looking film from all of the star wars movies we've got that i've seen (i haven't seen solo yet but i'm not really interested in it tbh but if people think i should see it maybe i will). the music is phenomenal, the visuals are stunning, the casting is spot on, and the storyline is cohesive. brava fr on this one

i was so into the first half i legit didn't really make notes so that's what you get for like the first half of the film lmao i was just too glued to the screen

i am so in love with this group of people, i think they're the most dynamic of all the groups we see

i haven't seen andor yet but you bet your ass i'm gonna after this because i forgot how much i love cassian - diego luna is fantastic

cassian and jyn <3 also K2 i love you

baze, chirrut and bohdi also just fill me up with joy this whole crew is *chef's kiss*

when baze calls jyn little sister 😭

the pure joy on literally every single rebel's face when they fly in and start shooting the AT-AT's is enough to send me into a fit of laughter and tears 😭 🙌

star wars ships designs are so unique and awesome i love them

K dying had me crying it always gets me

chirrut 💕

CHIRRUT 😭

general raddus is such a g oh my god

baze, you mean so much to me

that hammerhead corvette is so powerful what

jyn and cassian are like, yeah they're, they mean a lot to me, their relationship means a lot to me, i'm fine

lies i'm literally sobbing at this point and can no longer type

had to come back eventually just to write that i'm forever grateful they hugged at the end because they could have done a cheap kiss shot but they didn't and i love and appreciate gareth edwards for this + vader's entrance is fucking astounding

this is genuinely the only star wars film that always makes me cry because i care so much for all the characters and they all fucking DIE - the skywalker saga doesn't have this level of stakes in the fact that we know they all survive at the end of the day, but this movie literally isn't like that, they all die for the cause and it's fucking heartbreaking and powerful and it wasn't for nothing!!!! 10/10 fr imo, i need a fat glass of cold water now because i'm a total wreck dudes like i am this emoji 😭 rn no lie (i cry laughed through writing this final bit because damn dude y'all should see me i don't get this emotional for movies that often but i'm a complete mess and my throat hurts)

[luetta]

i just want to talk about the effect everything everywhere all at once had on me. it saved my life. before it i was just living day by day, not giving a single fuck that my life was being wasted and that i was miserable. my inevitable suicide was approaching closer every time i woke up and i didn't care. but then, i watched the scene where evelyn travels to another universe, another version of herself, a different life. and i realised how badly i wanted things to change. every single night i wished and begged and imagined a different life for myself. to be an entirely different person. and then, to see this, this deep ungraspable yearning, represented visually, just broke me. sobbing with open eyes, tears streaming. i wasn't even on e yet and i cried like a bitch. it was amazing. it took a few weeks or so to internalise that message but i definitely realised that, i had to actually take action. make some sort of change. to become the person that i want to be. the other specific scene that irrevocably changed me was right at the end, where joy is being pulled from the void of the bagel and the rock is falling down the cliff. this obviously being a metaphor for suicide. and the imagery of two planets colliding being analogous, as absolutely important, as NOT dying. oh my goodness. what a message. i really do think that, it made me not suicidal anymore. i wasn't actively self harming or planning anything, but i was just. passively suicidal. i had an age in mind where i would reach that, and be able to look around and think "well. i've proved to myself and everyone that i am a failure. i can finally travel to iceland and find a cliff to throw myself off." but after seeing this movie and realising that. to kill myself would have such cataclysmic effects on not only the people around me, but to the unrealised future me. really made me not want to do that at all. i would never have the chance to have a positive impact on so many people's lives. there would be so many beautiful, tranquil experiences i would never experience. so much love and joy and laughter that would be rendered null before it even happened. and that is a terrible, awful thing. to deprive the future of that. i don't want to waste my life away. to contentedly let it fall through my hands like sand. i want to live. i want to chase happiness. to find the source and scoop it in my hands. to drink that pristine glacier water. and i did. 6 months after watching this movie i accepted i was transgender. the thing i wished, begged, cried for, the person i wanted to be more than anything. i was grasping that unreachable dream in my hands and drinking it. it tasted better than i could've ever imagined. i really am happy now. i'm not suicidal anymore. i'm excited for new things, loving my friends, aging. i can't wait to grow older. in about 4 months i'm going to turn 23. 5 years after coming of age. that was the age where i would fantasise about ending my life. now, that thought is quite unfathomable. so yeah. i think everything everywhere all at once saved my life. it's a really great movie.