#i watch cr less then half a year and i am exhausted

[meadowsofmay]

why am i so lucky with getting all of these discourse tiktoks about critical role when all i wanna do is just watch edits and campaign moments in peace?

how, and that is more weird than anything, these people are talking so much and yet, say absolutely nothing?

[kenmascatears]

Yours

You haven’t seen Shinso in a year, with him moving away for his job. So when you visit him, harboring secret feelings, you don’t know what to expect.

Genre: an actual plot, smut at the end, fluff

Warnings: alcohol usage, dubcon(sex under the influence of alcohol), public sex (bathroom), squirting, creampie, possessive themes during sex, multiple orgasms, slight dumbification (reader gets fucked out)

a/n: let me know if i forgot any warnings or if you want me to tag anything!

Word count - 3.8k

“______!” You heard a voice call out to you. You had been weaving through hordes of people at the arrival gate for the past 10 minutes, lugging your suitcase behind you, looking for Shinso, who had promised to pick you up. 

You twisted your head around to try and locate the tall purple-haired man, but couldn’t spot him. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your back. Whirling around you turned to face the smiling man.

“Hitoshi!” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his frame and burying your face in his chest. 

Shinso laughed, and warmly returned the hug. The two of you stayed like that for a while, basking in the feeling of seeing one another again. 

He hadn’t changed since you had last seen him, the muscular arms encircling your back were the same ones that had hugged you when you had last seen each other. His cologne was still the same, you noted, the woody scent that invaded your nostrils was the same that he had worn for the past 5 years, ever since high school when he claimed it made him smell “manly.”

The two of you finally let go of one another and as you pulled away you noticed a flush covering his cheeks, You didn’t have time to dwell on it, however, as he took your suitcase into one hand, and yours in the other and began pulling you towards the exit.

“Shit your suitcase is heavy ______, did you bring your whole closet or something?” He asked, laughingly.

“Fuck off Toshi, I packed less this time and you know it.”

It was true, Shinso did know how much you had packed. The day before your flight you had called him in disarray, asking what kind of clothing you should bring and what activities the two of you would be doing. It had taken the purple-haired boy half an hour to convince you to bring what made you comfortable. 

It was always like that between the two of you. Shinso always grounded you, always took care of you. 

As the two of you shot jabs at one another on the way to the car, you began to slip back into the familiarity of his physical presence, having been limited to video calls and texts since he moved away for work.

Your conversation had calmed down and shifted to your plans for the week, by the time you got into the car, where you wanted to go and what you wanted to do. You hadn’t visited Shinso yet, nor had you been to the city and you were eager to explore everything.

Throughout the car ride, your energy had begun depleting, and as you arrived at Shinso’s apartment, you wanted nothing more than to eat a meal and pass out. However, as Shinso opened the door, the person in the kitchen was presenting a challenge. 

As the door clicked shut behind you, the figure turned your way, the expression on their face going from bewildered to excited.

As you and Shinso took off your shoes and removed your coats, the person rose from their spot at the table and spoke. 

“Shinso you didn’t tell me ______ was arriving this early! If I had known, I would have attempted to clean the apartment” His voice held no trace of malice, and you found yourself smiling at his words.

“Shove off Kaminari, you wouldn’t clean the apartment for the life of you. And I told you ______ was coming, your dumbass just forgot.”

You smoothed down the front of your outfit, suddenly self-conscious of your appearance. You knew Shinso had a roommate, he often spoke of the energetic blonde and you had seen him briefly on video calls, but you wanted to make a good first impression. Shinso noticed your hesitation and placed a hand on the small of your back, prodding you further into the room. 

Stepping forward to formally introduce yourself to Denki, you reached out your hand. To your surprise, he avoided your handshake and pulled you into a hug. 

You squeaked in surprise but quickly returned the favor, wrapping your arms around his lean frame. 

As he let go of you, stepping back, he spoke.

“It’s really great to meet you ____, Hitoshi has said so much about you over the past year. In fact, he won’t shut up about you.” He exclaimed, throwing a cheeky grin at Shinso.

You glanced inquisitively at Shinso who was suddenly staring intently at the carpet beneath his feet, pretending like he didn’t hear the statement. 

You turned back to Denki and smiled, “All good things I hope” you replied cheerily. 

“Nothing bad, just all about how you’re his best friend and your job and how much he depends on you, sometimes he acts like a schoolboy with a cr-“

“Kaminari,” Shinso cut him off, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he glared at the blond-haired boy, “you don’t need to repeat to her everything that I say.”

Your stomach flipped upside down as you processed Denki’s comment. You had been harboring feelings for Shinso for about half a year but hadn’t felt like he had felt the same way. 

Countless nights had been spent pondering your emotions, wondering if you should confess your feelings or keep them to yourself. And here Denki was, hinting towards Shinso liking you. You knew he hadn’t had a girlfriend in the past year, his excuse being that he wanted to focus on his career, but before that, he had gone through a slew of them. You never thought that he could like you, after all, you were simply friends.

Shinso touched your arm, breaking you out of your train of thought. “You good? You zoned out there for a second.”

You turned to look up at him and mustered a smile. “Yeah I just need some sleep and food in me, I’ve been up for almost 24 hours.” 

Shinso nodded in understanding, hand reaching up to ruffle his purple hair. “I’m about to heat up some leftovers for myself. I’ll make some for you as well. ”

You smiled at him in relief. “That would be great Hitoshi, thank you.”

“20 minutes?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna take a shower and get the airplane smell off of me if that's okay.”

“Yeah, of course, the bathroom is down the hall, first door on the right.”

After your much-needed shower, where you spent more time thinking about Shinso’s reaction to Denki’s comment than you should have, you were seated at the table with the two of them, downing some leftovers. 

In between the flurry of questions that Denki was sending your way, you realized something.

“Where am I gonna sleep?” You asked around a mouthful of noodles. You knew that the apartment Shinso and Denki lived in only had two bedrooms and not much room for guests. 

“You’re sleeping in my room and I’m taking the sofa.” Shinso replied decisively, twirling his fork around the noodles on his plate.

“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly. You knew Shinso didn’t sleep well and that sleeping on the sofa was going to cause him to get even less sleep.

“Yeah, I’m sure ______. You’re the guest here and if my mom caught wind of me having you sleep on the sofa I would never hear the end of it.”

After finishing up your meal, the three of you kept talking, sharing stories, and discussing what to do tomorrow. To Shinso’s dismay, you and Denki had bonded over a shared love of goading him, an act that continued throughout the evening. Eventually, you realized how tired you really were. Glancing at the clock, you stifled a yawn.

You stood up and began clearing your plate, stating that you were tired and it was best for you to go to bed. 

“I cleared my stuff from my room and there are spare blankets on the chair in there” Shinso replied, “Goodnight ______ and let me know if you need anything.”

“Yeah, goodnight _____” Denki chimed in.

“Goodnight guys.” You replied back, before heading down the hall to Shinso’s room. 

As you laid in bed that night, you played back your time knowing Shinso. He had always seemed more receptive and warm to you than the rest of his friends, but he’d told you during a drunken night a few months ago that he wasn’t looking for anyone at the moment. 

Exhaustion taking over, you drifted off to sleep.

****

The next few days went by quickly. Denki and Shinso took you around the city, visiting museums and monuments, or simply just walking around. At nights you guys hung out, watching movies, or going to explore the nightlife. 

The city fascinated you. Musutafu was a big city, but where Shinso lived now was even bigger. With bustling streets, buildings so tall they disappeared into the clouds, and more attractions than you could count, you loved it. 

You had grown closer to Denki over the course of the week, with him asking all about your life, and him telling you all about his. The blonde was a nice contrast to Shinso, who was usually reserved, the calm to the storm that Denki was. You hadn’t ignored the way he looked at you and Shinso when you interacted, however, staring at the two of you like you were a couple. You were only glad he hadn’t asked if you had feelings for Shinso. You didn’t think you could confess that to anyone yet.

You had realized a long time ago that you and Shinso were closer than the average friends, but for the longest time you had chalked it up to being lifelong best friends. 

You sighed, clutching the glass of water you held with both hands and lifting it to your lips. You supposed it wasn’t normal, the dynamic the two of you had, but you wanted to convince yourself otherwise. No use getting your hopes up for him to end up not having feelings for you. 

You were in a restaurant with Shinso and Denki, a few train stops away from their apartment. It was your second to last night with the two of them. For today's activity you had gone to an exhibit at a museum you wanted to see, and as the evening was coming to an end, so was your energy. 

Throughout the meal, you had been opting to sit and listen, or rather overthink in your head, instead of contributing to the conversation Shinso and Denki were holding, and Shinso, inquisitive as ever, noticed that. As Denki got up to use the washroom, he leaned towards you.

“______ Are you okay? You seem distant?” He inquired with a concerned look in his eyes.

You turned to face him, smiling gently at his expression. He was so adorable when worried, you mused, with his eyes crinkling softly and a small pout adorning his face. His hair was down today you noticed, the soft strands framing his face beautifully. He had once let you make little braids in it, and you reveled in the memory of his silky hair between your fingers. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” You finally replied, “I didn't know walking around a museum was so tiring. I might have to take a nap when we get back.”

Shinso laughed at your reply, “I didn’t know the girl who pulled all-nighters to study for final exams in high school couldn’t handle a little museum.”

You scoffed at his reply and punched his arm, “You’re the one who’s been taking naps at every opportunity. Have you not been sleeping enough?

Shinso gently shoved you back, ignoring your question and the momentum sent you into his body. You leaned against his arm, relishing the familiarity of him. You were going to miss that when you left.

Shinso’s arm moved, draping itself over your shoulders so you were now leaning against the side of his chest. You stayed like that for a few more seconds, the both of you basking in the softness and peace of the moment until Denki came back. 

As the three of you paid for your meals and left, the moment the two of you shared was still in your mind. The way you fit so perfectly next to him, almost as if it was meant to be.

The thought consumed you for the rest of the evening. It was at the forefront of your mind while you watched a movie, hyper-aware of Shinso’s body next to yours, knee bumping into yours every so often. It consumed you as you took a shower, as you bid the two boys goodnight, and it consumed your mind as you drifted off to sleep.

You woke up abruptly to a voice. Disoriented, you turned to the door to see Shinso standing there. 

“Are you okay?” You blearily inquired, checking the time which stood at 3:27. 

“The sofa is really uncomfortable and I can’t take it anymore” he whispered, “The spring keeps digging into my back and I was wondering if I could sleep with y-I mean not with you but like in the b-”

You cut off his rambling with a simple “Sure, I put the spare blanket on the chair if you want it.”

He thanked you and began to move towards you as you scooted towards the side of the bed to give him more space. 

Your heart was pounding. Even though you guys were best friends, you had never slept in the same bed before, and with your feelings toward him, you were getting anxious.

After Shinso had settled in, tucking the blanket around him, you bade him a good night, which he said back sleepily. 

You laid awake, not daring to move in fear of disturbing him. The bed was big enough for the both of you, you mused, and you could feel his warmth from where he was, could smell the remnants of his cologne. It seemed just right. This is how you had wanted it to be for so long, the two of you together,  

You woke up the next morning stiflingly hot and with a weight on top of you. In the course of the night, you and Shinso had found your way to the middle of the bed, covers puddled by your intertwined legs, while his arm was draped over your side, keeping you close to him. 

This is how it could be, you thought, lazy mornings curled up with Shinso in bed if you told him how you felt and if he reciprocated those feelings.

Shinso was still dead to the world, soft snores leaving his mouth. You watched him for a bit, not wanting to leave his side, nor the warmth he was providing you. When Shinso was asleep he looked at peace, almost childlike, in contrast to his usual blasé face. Smoothing your free hand over his forehead, you brushed some strands of hair away from his face. 

At the soft touch, Shinso stirred, dark purple eyes meeting yours. You smiled softly, uttering a “good morning” to him. He hummed in reply, raising his arm away from you to stretch. 

“ ‘m sorry about the contact,” he finally stated, voice scratchy, “I hope you didn’t mind it”

“No, it was fine,” you quickly replied, heat rising through your face, “You were warm anyways.”

He smiled, a slow, sleepy smile that made your heart melt. 

“Thanks for letting me sleep here,” he said, “I slept so much better than on the sofa.”

“You’re welcome Toshi,” you replied, “It was no big deal.”

Pulling away, you got out of bed, shivering at the loss of warmth that Shinso had provided. 

“I’m gonna get ready for the day, okay?”

****

That evening found you in a club a few blocks away from Shinso and Denki’s apartment. Denki had found someone and left a few hours ago, leaving you and Shinso alone. The two of you had been downing drink after drink, and they were starting to kick in, making your head all fuzzy and your actions unpredictable. 

Shinso, when drunk, wasn’t as serious and collected as he normally was. So when you asked him to dance, he accepted.

That found the two of you on the dance floor, Shinso opting to stand and sway to the music, while you danced to your heart's content around him. 

You always felt more carefree around him, felt safe and protected, and with the alcohol flowing freely through you, you had no qualms about sidling up to Shinso when a particularly suggestive song came on, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your body against his.

Shinso’s hand dropped to your hips, holding on to them as you moved. 

As you danced, chest to chest, you stared at his face in wonderment. 

The strobe lights made his face glow, the colors distorting his features. However through all the colors, through the haze, you could see one feature clearly, fierce, dark purple eyes, violently staring at you, almost as if he was trying to figure you out.

It was the alcohol that made you pull Shinso’s face level to yours.

It was the alcohol that asked him oh so boldly, “what’re you thinking about Toshi?” with your mouth pressed against his ear.

And it was the alcohol in Shinso that made him reply.

“I’m thinking about if I should kiss you.”

And it was the alcohol that pressed your lips to his, bodies flush against one another, in the middle of the dancing bodies.

That found you in the bathroom 10 minutes later, sitting on the sink, dress shoved up around your waist and underwear pushed to the side.

“Fuck Toshi,” you moaned out, dick dragging along your folds.

“You’re dripping,” Shinso said in amazement, staring at where the two of you connected. “So wet and all for me.”

He was enthralled, at how your little pussy was all stretched out for him. You were gripping him so tightly, pussy fluttering and creaming around his dick. 

The second he had slid his dick inside, you had come almost instantly, moaning and clinging onto him. At that moment, he knew you were made for him. Only he wanted to please you, to satisfy you. And he was determined to do just that. He wanted you drunk on his cock by the end of the evening. To send you home with the reminder of him. To make you unable to be satisfied by anyone by him. And most of all, he wanted to make you his.

“‘s so big Toshi” you moaned out, enraptured from the feeling of him so deep inside you, filling you up. Enraptured with the feeling of the alcohol that was flowing through your veins. 

His cock was filling you up so nicely, pressing against your gummy walls as you clung to him, legs wrapped around his waist. That was consuming your every thought, Toshi, Toshi, Toshi.  

You didn’t realize you were crying out his name until he gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

“What do you want princess,” he asked lowly, eyes burning with desire.

“You Toshi, please, want your cock, wanna cum.”

With that, he began moving, hands gripping your hips tight enough to leave marks.

“Good girl,” he groaned out, “you’re taking me so well.”

And you were. With each thrust, he could see the translucent ring of slick you were leaving at the base of his cock, your juices dampening the neatly trimmed hair. 

You moaned out without regard to those outside the bathroom. Right now, there was no one but the two of you. All that mattered was right now was you and Shinso.

Wrapping your arms even tighter around his neck and arching your back to meet his thrusts, the new angle made him hit that little sweet spot inside of you, and you keened at the sensation. 

Your orgasm was building up fast, the knot in your stomach building up and Shinsou could tell.

“Hitoshi ‘m so close,” you cried out, head foggy.

Thumbing at your clit, he began thrusting faster, feeling you tighten up under his ministrations.  

It didn’t take much, and you were soon sent headfirst into an orgasm, the pleasure rippling through you. 

Shinso was convinced that the alcohol enhanced your orgasm, as you trembled and cried out, nails digging into his biceps. 

Continuing his ministrations, you were sent straight from your second orgasm, into your third. Maybe you hadn’t even come down from your second. 

Suddenly, your juices squirted from your cunt, coating your cock and his thighs, as you trembled and shrieked.

That was the most filthy and erotic thing Shinso had ever seen. You were completely fucked out, twitching underneath him, the only thing coming out of your mouth were broken moans and his name, over and over again.

The feeling of your walls gripping him, along with that visual sent Shinso towards his orgasm.

Shinso stilled, head falling into the crook of your neck, moaning, as he shot his load into you, your cunt milking him for all he was worth. 

As the two of you came down from your highs, he slowly pulled out, putting your panties in place to ensure that his cum wouldn’t leak out.

Even when drunk, Shinso was attentive.

"You okay ______?" He asked you softly.

You could only groan in reply, eyes fluttering. 

He had tired you out, and along with the alcohol, you had reached your limits.

"'m fine Toshi" you managed to get out, "just wanna go home with you."

Adjusting your dress, he scooped you up, in his arms and took you home.

****

The next morning, you woke up with an ache between your legs, a pounding in your head, and a warmth next to you.

Groaning, you turned to the source of heat.

"Good morning," Shinso said, leaning over to grab some painkillers and a glass of water before handing it to you. "Do you remember last night?"

You downed the pill and water, before turning to face Shinso. "Yeah, I remember the club and bathroom."

Shinso hesitated before speaking, his voice quiet, "D-Did you regret it? Did I push you too far? We were both drunk and I know that might have impacted your judg-"

"Toshi, I wanted what happened last night. I like you Toshi, and I always have. And I hope you like me too. And if you don't, we can forget all about last night." 

As you spoke those words, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. After all those years, you had finally confessed to Shinso how you felt, and it felt calming, to know it was in the open now.

Shinso blinked, and a slow smile grew across his face. Pulling you closer towards him, he cupped your face, planting a soft kiss on your lips. 

"I like you too ______," he said against your lips, "and I want you to be mine."

You kissed him back eagerly, arms wrapping around his neck. 

As you pulled away, with the sun filtering in through the curtains, creating a halo around you, you spoke.

"I would love to be yours Hitoshi."

[settiai]

some spoilery cr rambles

I posted two threads on Twitter earlier today, one here and then a follow-up here. Considering some of the comments I’ve continued to see throughout the day, though, I wanted to elaborate on those tweets a bit. And, well, Twitter isn’t the best medium for long posts.

First things first: I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to stop watching Critical Role for awhile

I've seen several people making similar comments to my own about how, for personal reasons, they're going to need to take a break from the show. And I've seen many more people making derogatory comments about people in that situation, acting like anyone who needs some time to cope with what happened isn’t really a fan and doesn’t deserve to be in the fandom. That's what prompted me to make my initial tweets and now this post.

First of all, I want to make this clear: just because I'm having my own personal issues with current events in the show doesn't in any way mean that I agree with people who are harassing the cast. That's bullshit behavior. A large part of D&D is decided by the dice, and it's rude as fuck to blame the cast for the way that the dice fell when it's clear that they're just as hurt by the turn of events.

But on a related note, it would be nice if the CR fandom in general would stop trying to support the cast by saying things like "if people stop watching because of this then they aren't real fans" or "people who are upset right now don't deserve to be in this fandom." There are plenty of us out there who need to take a break for at least a while who very much are real fans, ones who support the cast wholeheartedly and are against the hate that some of them are getting. So it's really getting exhausting seeing people saying that we're not over and over again.

Permanent character death is a hard "no" for me, especially when it's so early on in a story, and that's been the case for a long time. It doesn’t matter the medium: movie, tv show, book, rpg. It’s something that I have a lot of trouble dealing with, and when it happens? It takes time for me to do so. I know that it's not anyone's fault when it comes to Critical Role. It was mainly due to a series of bad rolls, mixed in with some questionable decisions, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it once it started down that path. And that fact will hopefully let me start watching again in the future instead of completely leaving the fandom like I've had to do for scripted shows in the past when similar things have happened. But that doesn't make it any less of a hard "no" for me.

I've seen lots of people making comments about fans who are upset about Molly’s death, asking questions like "what do they do when they watch Game of Thrones?" Here's the thing: some of us don't watch shows like GoT because we know that we can’t handle it. I purposefully don't watch shows or movies where I know people are going to die, and characters dying in a TV series often means I stop watching a show. It's just who I am. Fandom is an escape from the real world for me, and when events in said fandom start mirroring the real world too closely, then I need to step away at least for a time.

I understand that D&D has rules, and death is quite often up to a roll of the dice. Unfortunately, that aspect of the game is something that I can have issues with in some situations. There are plenty of people who don’t have any problem with it! And that’s great! But for me, personally, I can handle a permanent PC death more if there’s at least a chance of resurrection and then it fails. It’s the fact that in this case there really aren’t any options that’s making it hard.

One of the things that I love about D&D is that it's a world where magic exists and death doesn't always win like it does in the real world. So when death does win, especially in a situation like what happened last week where it came out of nowhere and took a character whose story was just starting, one who I identify with quite a bit, it throws me out of the fantasy world. It makes my brain go "oh, this is just like the real world, so everyone's going to die and the bad guys are eventually going to win because that's how the world works." And even though I realize intellectually that's not the case, it takes awhile for my brain to realize it. Hence the needing to step away for a bit.

If I try to keep watching, all it's going to do is give me anxiety and potentially send me into a depressive spiral. And I have enough of that just dealing with the real world right now. I don't need to get extra from what's supposed to be my escape from reality. Which kind of sucks, to be honest. I've said in the past that when I started watching Critical Role back in 2016, it helped pull me out of a pretty dark place, so it hurts more than I expected for that same show to be pushing me back into one. Especially with everything else that 2018's been throwing at me lately. Critical Role and my own D&D games have been my escapes, and it's painful that I'm losing one of those out of nowhere, with no real warning that it was coming.

That said, I'm really hoping that I'll get to start watching Critical Role again in the future. My tentative hope is to give it a month or two for the new character to find their feet and mesh with the group, so that I can press through with a marathon and get back to watching it. But that doesn’t change the fact that I need to take some time off to process things, as do plenty of other people who are having similar reactions, and a large number of people are acting like that’s a bad thing that we’re trying to take care of ourselves.

I've been trying to look at spoilery fanart, in the hope that it would help my brain accept the new status quo and let me keep watching, but it hasn’t helped. I’m at the point where I've tried to watch the second half of last week's episode several times, and my brain has immediately gone "nope" each time. Right now, I haven't even been able to go back and rewatch episodes from earlier this year. As soon as I do, my brain is basically going "why bother? there's no point in getting attached to any of the characters because they're all going to die in the end," which... definitely isn't a fun place to be.

I get that people want to support the cast when there are so many people sending hate in their direction. But it would be nice if you could do so without throwing fans who are upset but not reacting that way under the bus. Seeing comment after comment from people saying that I'm clearly not a real fan of Critical Role because I need to stop watching the show for awhile to take care of my own mental health... well, it hurts a lot. I'm taking a break from Critical Role because I do love it, and I don't want my bitterness over recent events to ruin it for me.

It would be nice if people could remember that just because someone is reacting to recent events differently than you doesn't mean they don't care for the show, the cast, and the fandom just as much as you. Everyone is different.

[jimlingss]

First-Date BAIT!

Words: 11.3k Genre: Fluff Read the sequel drabble: here Read more at Service Series

Cr.

First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!

With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!

First Date Bait. Why waste your time with awkward first dates?

He’s late.

That’s not a good sign.

You tap your foot impatiently, eyes sweeping the premises while sipping on your water. You deduct five points mentally on his tardiness.

The restaurant is rather fancy but it has dim lighting, something you never understood why restaurants did. Was it for the mood of the place? Maybe their cooking was so bad that they needed to cover it up with the darkness. At this point in time you were getting more light from the street lamp seeping in from the window next to you. When you turn on your phone, the mere brightness of it (that’s already turned down halfway) blinds you senseless and lets a curse slip through your lips.

You do another quick look around the dark restaurant, indifferent to the waitress who gives you a glance of pity - as if your date bailed out on you but he isn’t technically your date. And you can’t even manage to give a shit, you’re getting paid either way; so you continue to leisurely drink your water, chewing on the free bread that they gave you while you play a game on your phone.

But your fun doesn’t last very long when a shadow creeps up beside you. “Are you Boyoung?”

A husky voice makes you crane your neck slowly, looking up at the dark-haired man who gives you a lethargic, dead expression. Your eyebrow lifts slightly as you sigh, turning off your phone. “Are you Kihyun?”

“Answer my question.”

“Answer mine first.” You retort, boredly leaning your cheek in your propped up hand.

He sighs, falling into the chair across from you. “I’m a friend of Kihyun.”

“So you’re not Kihyun.”

“Answer my question.” He demands, toying with the petals of the fake flower centerpiece.

You smirk at him, finding amusement in the stranger. “I’m not Boyoung either. I’m filling in for her.”

His eyes flicker to you and he tilts his head. “You could say I’m filling in for Kihyun too.”

The waitress stops by the table to give Yoongi a glass of water, giving you a quick smile full of relief and you suppose that she’s happy that you weren't ditched after all; your date really did show up. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“Well to be honest…” He begins, after a long yawn. “Kihyun didn’t want to show up. It was a blind date so I’m his substitute. But since you’re not her either, let’s just call this quits, okay? We can both leave and go back into our warm homes.”

You probe your eyes deeper into his skin, your amusement tripling ten folds on how brutally honest and straightforward he is. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to the nervous guys you always sit across from, stroking their clammy palms together and too afraid to look you in the eyes. This one is different - he isn’t scared of you.

“Are you listening to me? And can you stop looking at me like that?” He raises his eyebrows. “Is there something on my face or am I just too handsome?”

“Neither.” You spit out with another smirk. “What’s your name?”

“What’s yours?”

“Answer me first.”

“I’ll only answer you if you answer me.” He matches your lips, one side upturned slyly.

“Fair enough.” You cock your head to the other side. “I’m Y/N.”

“Yoongi.”

“Pleasure.” You clear your throat, finally sitting up straight and scanning the restaurant. Sure, you could leave like he suggested - it wasn’t like he was actually your client’s date after all. This guy was just some random. But on the other hand, you wouldn’t get paid if you left.

If you stayed, your delicious meal would get paid for by the company. If you left, you would walk home on an empty stomach to scavenge in your empty fridge, nibbling on lettuce and ice-cubes.

The choice was obvious and since he was just some random, you didn’t even have to waste your efforts or try that hard. It’s a win-win situation.

“Since we’re here…” You muster up a stiff, pretty smile and a chirpy voice that makes him frown. “...let’s just enjoy some food. What’s the rush in leaving?”

The man sighs, taking one that lasts ten seconds. “I mean-”

“Are you ready to order?” The waitress saunters back in time, interrupting right in the middle of Yoongi’s sentence. She smiles at the two of you, notepad in her hand.

“Yes.” You smile at her. “I’ll take the classic filet mignon, medium rare with a side of mashed potatoes and seafood chowder. Could we also get a bottle of Cabernet Franc red wine?”

“Certainly.”

When you turn to Yoongi, you nearly double over in giggles of how wide his eyes are. He quickly does a scan of the menu, scrambling and trying to decide. “I’ll take the lamb salad with fregola.”

“Great. It’ll be out as soon as possible.” She whirls on her feet and disappears behind the corner.

You cross your legs, staring out the window as Yoongi gapes at you. “Do you always just decide things on your own?”

With your lack of response that follows, he scoffs and falls back into his seat. You only turn your head when the waitress comes back with your wine bottle. Yoongi scoffs again when he notices how you lick your lips as she pours the deep, red liquid into the glass. After a simple ‘thank you’ and she leaves, you lift the glass to your lips and you almost down half of it.

“Alcoholic much.” He mutters under his breath but you manage to hear, narrowing your eyes at him.

“It’s been a long day.” You glare. “A lot of long days.”  

“No. Don’t worry. I’m not judging you.” He shakes his head with a tiny smile. You wonder if the alcohol is already beginning to work it’s magic….but he’s kind of cute. “I understand how you feel.” That’s when you notice the black bags below his eyes, the exhaustion slowly seeping through his skin.

He raises his own glass to his lips and takes a sip of the red wine, orbs instantly brightening in the dark restaurant. “It’s good.”

“Damn straight it should be.” You murmur, flicking your hair over your shoulder. “Through the years of adulthood, I’ve finally narrowed it down to the best one.” The liquid swirls around as you rotate your hand. “Plus, it was expensive.”

“How expensive?” He raises a brow.

“Doesn’t matter.” You smirk back to him. “My company’s paying for it.”

“Company?”

“Nevermind.” You quickly answer, realizing that you shouldn’t tell him about the whole business when his friend is still a potential suitor and someone you have yet to meet or go on a first date with.

“You’re kind of strange.” He grins, gums showing as his eyes crinkle. You pause, halfway from taking another gulp as you gawk at him.

Oh. He’s definitely cute. There’s no doubt about that.

You gulp the rest in the next few seconds, still not peeling your eyes away from Yoongi. You don’t even feel any shame ogling him. It’s not like you’re ever going to see him again. “Maybe you should take it a bit slower.” He frowns and stares when you fill your glass up again but you ignore him.

That’s when it really hits you. The world is big and unless you were really (un)lucky, you’re never going to see this dude on the face of the planet again. Never. Ever.

Never again.

You giggle at that, hysterically while shifting your cup away when you realize that maybe you should take it slower. Yoongi stares at you in concern, brows slightly furrowed and eyes big at your complete hysteria. But you don’t even care if he thinks you’re a complete nut job, which he probably does.

This is your only chance - doing the complete opposite of your job. It’s your chance to conduct an experiment that you’ve been wondering for a long time. How fast can you lose a guy?

You take a deep inhale, settling down until you deadpan- “How much money do you make?”

Yoongi nearly chokes on his own spit. “What?”

“When we get married and I pop out a few of your little babies, I need to know that you can support them. I don’t want to be the only one busting my ass off.” You give him another giggle as he watches you, completely flabbergasted.

“Enough to buy bread.” He answers after a blink, short and sweet.

“Specifically.” You eye him closely with the side of your lip tugging upwards. “How much?”

“Definitely not enough to satisfy your expensive tastes.” He flickers to your wine and recalls your dinner order, one of the most costly items on the menu.

“Tch.” You click your tongue in annoyance before stealing another sip of the intoxicating liquid. “Shame. Minus ten points.”

“What?” A grin spreads across his cheeks as his bewilderment alters into amusement.

You wave your finger around in the air, speaking in a light voice. “You’ve lost fifteen so far and haven’t earned any.” A part of you wonders why he hasn’t run for the hills yet since in anyone else’s shoes, you’d consider yourself completely insane.

“How can I earn points?” He matches your lips in a smirk, staring at you in interest.

“Maybe if you left.” You point to the doors.

It didn’t matter that Yoongi wasn’t the person you were suppose to be meeting, all you had to say was that someone replaced him and you still went on a date. Only then would your expensive meal be paid for by the company and at this point, you merely wanted to be left in peace. Was that too much to ask for?

“Is there any other way?” He leans his chin in his propped up arm, staring at you. “I don’t want to leave.”

You don’t understand. You’re trying your best to lose this guy but the more you talk, the more you can see his orbs spark with interest.

Instead of answering, you take another gulp of the red liquid since the alcohol makes it easier for you to let go of any shame. That’s when you suddenly remember - an atrocious pick up line that was once said by some dude that you never recommended to your client.

“You must be Jamaican…” You’re already cracking with laughter. “...because Jamaican me crazy!”

There’s a horrendous awkward silence that kills your laughter. His face void of any emotion, telling you that he isn’t impressed in the least bit. A tiny smile bursts on your lips from your success and victory, presuming that he’ll probably leave the second he gets a chance. You’re sure that he’s just a mere second from asking if you want to check in to a mental hospital or turning around and running as fast as he can away from you. As he opens your mouth and you’re anticipating his excuses of leaving-

You’re both suddenly interrupted by the waitress. “I’m sorry that it took so long. The kitchen’s a little bit busy for tonight.” She places your flaming hot steak in front of you, your mash potatoes and your soup while Yoongi’s plate is placed in front of him. But as the waitress continues on her little ramble, Yoongi never peels his strong gaze away from you.

“Enjoy your meal~” The waitress chimes out with a smile.

“T-thank you.” You almost break out into a sweat with the way Yoongi’s still burning holes in your skin.

“Ah.” A quiet nose leaves his mouth and his expression washes over, as if reaching an epiphany and seeing right through everything that you’re doing. It’s as if you’ve turned completely transparent in his eyes.

You shift uncomfortably and Yoongi chuckles, taking his second sip of the wine as he continues his scrutiny. “So…”

And suddenly it becomes a battle of who will leave first.

His eyes challenge yours without needing to speak and any sign of discomfort is an indication of weakness that leads to a smirk plastered on his mouth. Sparks fly as you try your best to remain composed while enjoying your meal. Somehow, you and Yoongi both end up touching on the absolute worst topics to discuss during a first date - from his mother’s relationship to the dream you had last night.

If your boss saw you now, he would faint.

//

“My ex was the worst.” You sigh, rubbing your forehead. “Like the sex was alright at first but then it got worse and worse. I tried to brush it aside for the sake of you know…‘love’ but god...I was a complete idiot. And I can’t believe I let him dump me!”

Yoongi laughs, swallowing his mouthful. “At least you didn’t get cheated on.”

“Damn.” You set down your wine glass, leaning across the table. “Spill.”

“I was working my ass off to try to buy her an engagement ring and I should’ve known..she was acting so shady.” He shakes his head with a smile of remorse. “I came home one night to find her in my bed with my roommate.”

“Then what did you do?” You blink and he chuckles at your curiosity, not carrying any spite.

“I kicked her out to the curb, what else was there to do?” He exhales tiredly. “What a fucking waste of two years.”  

“At least you found out then. It’s a good thing that it happened.” You scoff. “You deserve better.”

He pauses for a moment before smiling at you. “Thanks.”

“-but I don’t know how you would know that after being with me for only an hour.” He adds on, lifting an eyebrow up.

“Call it my intuition.” You chime out with a grin. “You seem alright.”

“Does that mean I get points?” Yoongi teases and you ignore the heat in your cheeks.

“No. That means you get reset to zero.” You reach over to pat his shoulder. “Don’t worry. You were in the negatives before.”

“Wow.” He shakes his head. “I’m incredibly honoured.”

You giggle. “I’m glad.”

The conversation continues like that, the both of you discussing your past relationships while not bothering to close your mouth while chewing. There’s no time to swallow or cover it with your hand if you want to be able to eat at the same time and you don’t even give a shit of what he thinks. He shares your sympathies and with his stories, you get enraged for him. It’s the first time that you’re able to talk about your exes without anger but laughter instead.

You even dabble a bit of your storytelling into your old college days and partying self. “How many people have you slept with?”

Yoongi nearly chokes again, this time with his food but he manages while tossing his head back in a deep laugh. “I really didn’t expect you to go there.”

“Well?”

“You have to answer the question too.” He leans in and you follow, the two of you mere millimeters away from each other. It’s almost scandalous to be talking about such subjects amongst high class folks in the fancy restaurant.

Yoongi’s hot breath carrying the scent of the red wine fans over your lips as he whispers. “Too many to count.”

Your eyes widen and he chuckles, moving back. “Nah. I’m just kidding. Three or four, maybe five?”

“Nice.” You nod your head, taking another bite of your steak.

“What about you?”

“Me?” You look up, batting your eyelashes innocently. He chuckles at your attempt to evade the question. You sigh, chewing and swallowing slowly. “Double your numbers.”

He raises a brow and nods, looking rather impressed. “Don’t judge me.” You grumble at him. “I was just….a bit wild back in the day.”

“I’m not judging you.” He shrugs and then grins, gulping some wine down.

You do another eye sweep of the restaurant, making sure that the waitress isn’t approaching and that the next table isn’t eavesdropping. “What are your kinks then?”

As the words leave your mouth, Yoongi sputters and gasps, pounding on his chest. The wine goes down the wrong pipe and as he coughs, it almost shoots out his nose. A few people even look over but upon your laughter, they resume back, assuming that it isn’t serious.

“What?” He manages to croak out.

You’re still giggling, taking another small sip. “Oh, you heard me.”

You take the opportunity to let your eyes sweep him from head to toe - or at least whatever you can see from above the table. Yoongi doesn’t have that big of a physique but that didn’t mean he was scrawny, no...not in the least bit. He had wide shoulders and looked well built but you couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t the tallest. You couldn’t help it either when your mind started to wander what he looked like ‘down there’....down in the basement….down in his pants-

Okay. Maybe you should really lay off the wine.

Yoongi finally settles down and you smirk, still observing him carefully. “Wait. Let me guess….hm…” You put a finger on your chin, tapping away and thinking out loud in a hushed voice. “On a first glance basis, I would guess that you’re pretty vanilla…”

When he wasn’t frowning, he looked extremely cute with his natural pouty lips, his round cheeks and soft eyes, almost innocent. “But I know that the calmest ones outside are usually the freakiest ones in bed.”

He laughs and you smile. “Do you have a daddy kink?”

“God.” He shakes his head as if unable to believe the conversation that you were having with him. He definitely did not expect this when he walked in with plans to bail. “I mean...it’s okay. Like I’m not going to stop a girl if they call me that, it’s nice once in awhile but not my preferred one.”

Your eyes sparkle. “Then what is it?”

He leans in and you follow. Yoongi whispers in your ear, warm breath triggering goosebumps to raise all over the back of your neck. “Breath play.”

He takes another long chuckle at your stunned expression as he pulls away. Your eyes are saucers as you gape at him, really not expecting that kind of answer and you have to swallow all the spit that gathers in your mouth before you speak again. “So like….choking?”

He nods with pursed lips. “Now let me guess yours….” Yoongi crosses his arms and tilts his head to the side, scrutinizing you again. “You’re right about the whole ‘the calmest ones outside are usually the freakiest ones in bed’ but I’m going to guess that you only know that because it applies to you.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re into wax play.”

“Nope.” You curl your mouth into a smile and for a moment his gaze flickers down to your perfectly red stained lips. “Begging.”

“Oh?” He smirks and you match it. “You like begging?”

You shake your head with a small laugh. “No. I like when the other person begs.”

“So, you’re a dominant?” He says it slowly with interest.

You shrug. “Sometimes. But I do enjoy getting tied up on the occasion.”

It’s exhilarating to share your deepest secrets with a stranger without having to worry about judgement. It’s freeing in a way and only easier when the alcohol is seeping into your veins and he’s as willing to share as you are. But the waitress stops by to check in with how you're doing and before your pupils can get any darker or he bites his lip while staring deeper into your skin, you both move onto a lighter topic...well…‘lighter’.

You end up talking about how sometimes you get so angry that you go bat shit insane and he nods in understanding, going on a tangent of sometimes forgetting his surroundings when he’s working. He talks about how people often misunderstand him for not caring enough or for disregarding their feelings but most often than not, he didn’t even realize. That conversation somehow stems into ranting about work and how you both hate but love it.

You learn he’s composing music and selling them to idols and stars - you won’t lie that you’re extremely impressed (plus ten points) but when he asks about your occupation, you speak broadly. It’s not like many people understand when you try to explain it and you don’t want to waste your breath too much. Yoongi would probably understand but you don’t want him to think you’re completely bonkers.

For some reason or another, you don’t want him to leave anymore.

“If you’re trying to eat like that to be as unattractive as you can…” Yoongi pipes up, eyes staring at your mouth and the way dressing is smothered all over your skin, the salad hanging down to your chin. “...you’re doing the complete opposite.”

You almost choke, your food nearly going down the wrong pipe as you break out into laughter. “You think salad hanging off my mouth is sexy? Oh my god.” You lean in with a look of disbelief, yet he keeps staring at your mouth. “Are you turned on right now? Jesus, what’s wrong with you?”

“Hey.” He shifts the wine away from him, wondering if that was the reason his words slipped through his lips. “Don’t blame me for my dry spell.”

“Maybe I can help you with that.” You wink mischievously and he goes completely blank. You wonder what he’s thinking until you break the overwhelming silence with a giggle.

“Kidding.”

Maybe you’re going crazy but you swear he frowns for a split second, perhaps angered that you toyed with his feelings...or maybe it’s disappointment. You don’t dwell on it. “I’ve already told you how I’ve left my partying and one night stand days behind.”

You sigh tiredly. “I’ve reached a point where I might even try to be abstinent for the rest of my life.”

He laughs. “Are you trying to go as long as you can?”

“Yup.” You beat your chest proudly. “Two years so far and in counting! What about you?”

Yoongi hums for a moment. “I think I’m at two years too.”

“Tch. Are you trying to compete with me on this?” You roll your eyes at him and he grins. With yet another sigh and a sip of your wine, you begin again. “I’d go to the mountains to try to be a nun but I don’t think they let you drink wine and I can’t live without that.”

At some point through the night, Yoongi goes on a long discussion about his mixtape, venting about all sorts of things but you surprisingly find interest in it. He ends up sliding his CD across the table and you snag it into your purse, finding amusement and promising to listen to it. After that, you realize that the entire wine bottle is empty so you order another.

“K listen...listen to me.” Your words slur together.

“I’m listening.” He laughs a bit loudly. “I’m listening.”

“What-...what kind of baby names do you like?” You nearly fall over in sleepiness, barely managing with one finger in the air. “How many? Do you like kids?”

He chuckles again, gums showing in his grin. “Why do you talk about having kids so much? Do you really want to have my babies?”

“You’re cute.” You admit without considering any repercussions, your mind hopelessly free of any thoughts. “Like….really cute.”

“Keep talking and I’ll be happy to give you my kids.” He whispers, downing the rest of the glass. “You’re-...you’re crazy attractive yourself.”

“Tch.” You scoff, rolling your eyes with a huge smile. “Stop. You’re too much….we gotta get married, you know! If we want kids and to build a family and a nice house. We gotta get married. So...so...so- let’s just do it now! HELL YEAH! Let’s get married right now! You wanna?”

He laughs hysterically and you join in, feeling all jittery despite your drooping eyelids. “I think...somehow…..that’s a bad idea.”

“Why?” You don’t feel sad with his rejection but rather still ecstatic, practically floating on cloud nine. “You….don’t wanna have...have a future with me?”

“It’s not that.” He sighs. “I just...don’t know you well enough.”

“But I know your kinks and alllll the bad things about you. How you’re crazy and how I’m crazy.” Somewhere in your hazy mind, a light goes off. “But hey...hey...listen!”

“I’m listening!” He stammers out, squeezing his eyes shut for a split second to become alert again.

“Why didn’t you leave? I mean...don’t you think I’m kinda...kinda crazy?”

“Nah.” He waves his hand. “I like you. You’re the kind of...crazy that I like.”  

Suddenly you feel tears well up in your eyes and you’re on the edge of choking out a sob. “You...you’re fucking sweet.” Yoongi reaches over and begins to pat the top of your head as you bury your face in your hands, repeating the word ‘sweet’ over and over again, like a mantra. That’s when another shadow appears next to you and you peel your hands away, looking up with misty eyes.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt…” The waitress smiles. “-but we’re closing now. Would you like to take out anything?”

“What?” You frown before clearing your throat, trying to not stutter or slur. Your attempt to not act drunk is completely futile, cheeks burning up and your swaying body. “Excuse me. Madam. Miss.”

“Yes?” She smiles at you.

“What time is it?”

“It’s eleven pm.”

Her words swirl in your brain, over and over again and it takes a long five heartbeats before it registers. How did time pass so quickly? What the hell? Impossible.

You turn to Yoongi, the both of you staring at each other and he nods. “Yes. We’ll take the bill now.”

//

The two of you are out at the curb of the road, waiting for your taxi. The chilling night air drags you more onto the sober side of the world but still far from it. At least you’re not stumbling on your feet anymore or unable to stand straight on your legs.

Yoongi’s standing with you, hands dug in his pocket as he stares at the cars driving past. When you asked how he was going to get home, he told you that his apartment was in walking distance. You nodded in understatement, a bit excessively as he laughed. He then outstretched his hand and stopped your head before you broke your neck; all you did in response was giving him a wide sheepish smile.

“Oh. Taxi’s here!” You declare with a baby voice as it parks at the curb. You begin giggling and Yoongi gawks at you. “Isn’t the word taxi kinda funny? Taxi. Taxi. Taxiiiiiii. Say it with me! It sounds funny.”

He shakes his head with a gummy smile. “Just go.”

“Yes sir!” You salute him before opening the door but then another light sparks in the back of your mind - this time it’s not a very bright light but still a light nonetheless.

“Give me one tiny second~” You chime to the taxi driver before turning around to Yoongi.

“Wha-?”

He doesn’t even get to finish before you crush your lips against his. It’s rough and sloppy, chaste for less than two seconds until you slip your tongue past the seam of his pillow softness. It’s plush and warm, heat surging and pooling downwards into the pit of your stomach. You moan and he smirks against your lips, hands grabbing your hips to press closer to his body as you snake your own arms around his neck. The both of you are shamelessly making out, drunkenly french kissing on the curb of the road with the taxi door still open and unable to drive away.

You wonder how long you’ve been kissing for, maybe half an hour, maybe one minute but in reality, it’s closer to the latter. By the time you simultaneously pull away, both your lips are wet with saliva and swollen red. You giggle once more. “You’re good. That was really good.”

He’s staring at you shocked before it melts into desire. “...really good.” He repeats you breathlessly.

You smile one more time at him, brightly with a laugh before pressing a fleeting kiss to his cheek and slipping in the taxi.

As the vehicle drives off, you catch the man through the wing mirror; still standing on the curb and watching as you disappear from each other’s sights. All you have about him is his name, a few of his deep secrets, a CD in your bag and one mesmerizing kiss still pulsating your lips.

Somewhere in your rational mind, you’re immensely thankful for never seeing him on the face of the planet again. That’s the only way you’d be able to live with yourself and your shameless acts of the night.

It’s absolutely dreadful.

The yellow glow of the lights dim down, a sweet melody playing in the air as the orchestra hits each note with precision. Every diminuendo is played softly with the gentle flute and it only makes everything worse - you’re dying of exhaustion.

It’s not like they were bad at playing, not in the least bit and it wasn’t like you were uninterested in the profound music but the problem was…. the guy next to you. He was another suitor of your client’s and you were testing out the waters, on a first date with him to know if you should recommend a second one to your client. But truth be told, you didn’t even remember his name - he was so utterly boring.

Boring. That’s what you’ll settle on as his name.

Boring here liked to chat about the driest subjects, about his garden at home and how he used to get the highest marks in physics back in high school. He’s a math enthusiast, ranting about pi and trigonometric equations. As you nodded, in the back of your mind, you wondered if he was the ghost of your math teacher that came back to curse you for failing. He was cute, sure but looks could only get you so far.

Boring made you yawn behind your hand and never gave you a chance to speak. Boring liked to sneeze without covering his face and enjoyed picking his nose when he thought you weren’t looking - he failed to realize you had peripheral vision.

So now in the marvelous concert hall with chandeliers and an echoing ceiling, you were painfully dozing off in the third row of the balcony floors. Every time that you decided to close your eyes for just one tinyyyy second, your head ended up rolling to the side, making you jolt awake once more. When Boring asked you if anything was wrong, you brushed him off and then he whispered something about ‘pine trees’ to you but you didn’t pay attention. All you wanted to do was to lay down, even on the ground for one second. You just needed one mere second to drift off to sleep.

The double bass slowly sweeps in the background, lulling you and the snare builds and builds, the drumsticks rolling against the surface like a wave building. The moment you begin to doze off once more, the cymbals crash together and the wave blasts on your skin, making you jerk into alertness and nearly lurching forward. No one seems to notice but for the rest of the symphony, you’re in a daze between the unconscious and conscious world.

//

“Wasn’t that so wonderful?” Boring asks while staring down at the menu.

“It was great.” You mumble with a tight smile as he glances at you.

“It really was!”

Boring and you were now at some restaurant that he had booked, open concept in a hotel lobby. It was a nice place, dim lighting with marbled floors, a fountain of water and the lobby desk still in view while the hotel bar was only a few meters away. The menu looked great too but the only problem was once again...Boring.

“Thank you.” He hands the menu back to the waiter before he nods and disappears with your orders. Boring turns to you with enormous eyes as he sips on his water. “So..how do you know Ahjoong?”

“Oh well…” Ahjoong was your client and part of your job was to not reveal so. Usually people didn’t like the fact that their date didn’t want to waste time and hired someone else to take their place. Most people took it personally. “There was a family emergency and she-”

“Speaking of family emergencies!” Boring interrupts. “There was this one time my grandma was really ill in the hospital but I was competing in the preliminary rounds of the international math competition.”

You nod with a tense smile. “Is that s-”

“But all my teachers begged me to stay to compete in the round and so I did!” He grins at you.

“Isn’t that really terrib-”

“And guess what? I won!” He boasts to you, pounding his chest. “I even appeared on television and the newspapers right next to the obituaries!”  

“Oh really.” You’re not even trying to fake enthusiasm this time around. Your frustration is at an all time high with the way he keeps interrupting, even when you’re trying to be as kind as possible.

Boring was already in the negatives with his points, you were docking marks off left and right by the first five minutes you met him and now you didn’t even bother keeping score. You were just considering how lucky your client was for not having to sit on this date instead.

He stares at you as if expecting a better, more impressed reaction. You internally sigh. “What channel were you on?”  

“I think it was the shopping channel?” He shrugs. “I don’t even know why but did you see me in the newspapers? I’m famous, you know.”

“Oh. Are you now?”

“Yeah. You don’t know?” He tilts his head, giving a condescending expression like you’re terribly ignorant and that you should be grateful for sitting in his presence.

You take another sip of your water, looking around for the waiter. All you want to do is eat and go home, escape this bastard and tell your client to run for the hills.

It’s not too unbearable to be around Boring despite him being as fun as watching paint dry and highly arrogant for no good reasons. You’ve been through worse, sitting around with misogynistic or down right rude people criticizing your appearance. At that time, you simply walked away from the date but most often than not, unless in dangerous circumstances, you had to stay.    

“Are you going to finish all that?” Boring eyes your plate.

You drop your utensil, the fork clanking against the table. “Excuse me?”

He shrugs, fabricating an innocent expression. “It just looks like a lot….that’s all.”

“Uh huh.” You answer, ripping your cold gaze away as you begin to slice your steak with a hard motion, scraping the plate in the process and making him wince. “Thanks for your concern.”

Despite your dead voice, he has the audacity to genuinely smile. “No problem. Gotta keep that body in shape, you know?”

You take it back. This was definitely one of the worst dates you’ve been on. For a long moment, you debate standing up and leaving.

But, as you turn your head towards the bar, shifting your seat to stand up...that’s when you see it - no, it’s him.

A mop of black hair, casually leaning against the marble counter with a drink in hand and a cocky smirk. He lifts his glass, lifting an eyebrow up and his gaze is completely plastered straight onto you. You rip your own gaze away, instantly lowering your head and you can already hear his chuckle ring inside your brain.

“Oh my god….”

This can’t be happening. You shut your eyes tight, repeating it over and over again internally while dread drowns you whole. You’re cringing, biting your teeth together and pretending to be invisible - hey, maybe your secret magical powers will come alive and you’ll somehow melt into the chair. And that’s all you can pray for.

You don’t remember much from your night with Yoongi, it’s more so a highlight reel that plays in the back of your brain and it was far from a pretty sight. From the memories you do have, it consists of being drunk with him, talking about your exes and your horrendous dry spell but the memory that stands out the most is that you......like an absolute maniac….you...you kis-

Ring. Ring.

You snap out of your trance and Boring stops talking. He was chatting to himself the entire time, not even realizing that you weren’t paying any attention and you didn’t even know if he cared if you paid attention or not - he seemed content with just talking out loud.

The phone continues to ring and Boring takes it out of his pocket. “Oh.” His eyes light up as he turns to you. “This is a very important call.” He emphasizes the word ‘important’ as if it’s the name of his first child. “My boss really needs me. I might even get a promotion!” He boasts and you groan inwardly, giving him another tight lipped smile.

“You should pick it up then.” You motion to the phone with gritted teeth as the screen is still lighting up, vibrating and ringing obnoxiously in the open restaurant.

Boring gives you an egotistical grin as he stands up and takes the call. “What is it mom?” He whispers out harshly while walking away and you facepalm yourself.

As he leaves, you wonder if this is the golden opportunity that you need to seize, running without looking back. But then your mind draws to him and you quickly dart your head over to the bar but the man is gone.

“Well, well, well. Just who do we have here?” A shadow creeps up from the opposite way you’re looking, making you flinch, nearly banging your knee on the underside of the table.

You put a hand on your chest as it pounds wildly, glaring straight into his mischievous dark orbs. “Are you trying to scare the living daylights out of me? What the fuck?”

Yoongi slides into Boring’s abandoned seat with a grin. You watch cautiously as he props his elbow up on the table and leans his chin in his hand, gazing at you as if you’re a puzzle he can’t solve. “Do you always go on first dates for other people?”

Your face flushes pale and you stammer for a moment before realization slaps you across the face. You gape at him with your jaw fallen to the ground. “Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?”

He smiles at you. “Why don’t you answer my question first.”

You scoff, looking away from him with crossed arms as a tiny smile reaching your lips for the first time that night. “I’m just filling in for someone else.”

“Uh huh.” He smirks. “You seemed sleepy and bored out of your mind.”

“Don’t pretend you know me.” You snap at him, opening your mouth to defend the other man; the sole reason that Yoongi’s egging you on. “And for the record, Boring is-”

You force your throat to stop, the words running off your lips accidentally like butter. Yoongi immediately grins, all the way up to his cheeks and crinkling his eyes, pink gums showing after white teeth. “You don’t even know his name?!”

“I forgot, okay?!” You flush in embarrassment. “Don’t blame me. He’s been boring all night.”  

He leans in closer, murmuring. “How about a second date then? Me and you.” Yoongi pouts his lips and tilts his head, looking at you in amusement. “I think our last date was really...interesting. But we never got a chance to meet up for a second round.”

It had been a few weeks since you had seen him which was a lot faster than ‘never again’. You were mortified the morning you woke up, the only reason you were able to walk out in the world again was the belief that you would never again see him on the face of the Earth for as long as you lived. You didn’t know his last name, where he worked or even had his phone number. But here he was...Yoongi is sitting in front of you with a smirk once again.

But instead of feeling humiliated or embarrassed, you feel the same wave of excitement as last time.

“I can’t just leave the poor guy.” You huff out. No matter how horrendous the date is, you still would feel a microscopic amount of guilt if you just ditched him.

“Why not?” Yoongi lifts up a brow. “He treated you like shit.”

Your long silence prompts a long sigh from him. Yoongi pushes back on his chair, hands at the edge of the table, preparing to stand up. “Suit yourself. You can sit here for the rest of the night with this jerk who obviously can’t treat you like you deserve and you can leave afterwards, feeling like you wasted your time. Or you can leave with me right now and I’ll make sure to give you the time of your life.”

“Wait.” You hold out your hand to halt his movements. He freezes, a sly smirk reaching his mouth and one that makes you frown. You’re still contemplating inside your head but the moment the word left your mouth, the both of you already knew your answer.

The devil stands, outstretching his hand with one promise- “It’ll be a lot of fun.”

The microscopic guilt is crushed by your overwhelming desires. You find yourself believing every single sweet word that falls from his honey dripping lips.

“You’re right.”

You take Yoongi’s hand, grabbing your jacket and purse while he pulls you up. The both of you match each other’s smiles, sauntering off hand-in-hand. And there’s no shame or regret in your decision.  

//

The neon strobe lights flash in front of your eyes, jumpy music all mixing together and the children’s giggles are barely audible as they run by. “Is this your idea of a date?”

Yoongi turns to you once the words leave your mouth but he relaxes upon seeing your huge grin. Your inner child appears, having been hidden away deep in your soul and you don’t hesitate to grab Yoongi’s hand, dragging him into the arcade with enthusiasm. “What are you waiting for?! Let’s go!” You can barely hear his chuckle as you turn around to flash one excited smile.

Before you can even realize, your back is pressed against his and you’re clutching a gun to your chest, as if you were models in a spy movie poster. Your eyes narrow to the screen as the deep voice announces, flashing the numbers by. “THREE. TWO. ONE. START!”

“AHHH!” You shout, getting into stance with feet shoulder length apart and Yoongi matches you, the both of you completely serious as you begin to shoot the zombies that appear on the screen. “DIE!”

“I could use a little help here.” He says and you turn, shooting a few off his back. The two of you absolutely demolish the game through teamwork, so much so that a group of kids even gather around to watch. As you make it to the fifth round, even the teenager worker gives you an impressed expression, slowly stopping to watch.

“CONGRATULATIONS! YOU SURVIVED!” The machine answers, the screen spiraling to show the scoreboard and how you’ve topped off everyone else.

“Oh yeah!” You turn to your side.

Yoongi grins at you and you reach out your hand, the clap rebounding as you high five each other - except he doesn’t pull away afterwards and closes his hand around yours, clutching it. “To the next one!” He leads you through the parting sea of children that are already jumping at the machine to play.

Yoongi chuckles to himself, your stunned expression burning to the back of his eyelids.  

Your toes are scrambling, sweat is building on your forehead as your eyes are glued to the flashing screen but you can’t help but be thankful for abandoning your heels this morning. The only thing that keeps you going, despite being horrible is that Yoongi is even worse than you are. “How are you-?”

In the midst of your breathless giggles, before you can even finish, he’s already defending himself. “I’m not the dancing type, okay?!”

Dance Dance Revolution was your next game and unlike the zombie one, the both of you are too clumsy on your feet. You’re missing every other step while Yoongi, instead of getting a winning streak is getting a failing streak. He’s like a toddler learning how to walk, stumbling and off beat in every move, slowly getting more and more frustrated as his body refuses to go where his mind wants. The only thing that keeps him going is your laughter.

“Try again next time!” The words in neon colours on the monitor flicker and spin around, nearly making you blind in the dark arcade.

“Wanna play aga- wait..Yoongi?” When you turn to your side, he’s already gone and when you finally spin around, he’s waiting for you with a disinterested expression.

“Let’s go.”

“No second round?” You tease, hopping off the metal dance pad.

“Never again.” He mutters, walking away with hands in his pockets. You laugh, catching up to him.

//

Your hands are pressed against the glass, face illuminated from the bright, white light inside the machine. He slips the tenth coin through the slot, hand gripping the joystick so hard that his knuckles are white. The playful music only adds fire to the burning annoyance within him and the both of you don’t speak, absolute silence with furrowed brows. Yoongi positions the claw, right above the smiling taupe bear.

“Right there.” You murmur, shifting your eyes up to the mirror at the back of the machine and you grin at his concentration, his teeth slightly nibbling on his bottom lip.

“No. A little more to the left.” He mutters back, shifting the joy stick.

“No.” You protest sternly but his stubbornness refuses to listen to you and he presses down on the button. You lightly slam your head against the glass in exasperation and right as you predicted, the claw grabs onto the nuzzle of the teddy and then it slips out as it rises back up again.

Yoongi grunts out in frustration, wanting nothing more than to get the damn plush animal out, even more when you sigh in disappointment and your eyes no longer carry the size or sparkle to fight. The prize is simply beyond thin glass, yet he cannot obtain it, despite already trying ten times.  

In a moment of rage, Yoongi wraps his large hands around the machine and tries to shake it. “You’re going to get us kicked out.” You tilt your head, arms crossed. “Here move. Let me do it.” You jut him over with the nudge of your hip, taking the joystick in your hand.

Yoongi hands you a coin and you slide it through the slot, the playful music once again emitting in light, mocking notes. Your eyes narrow and he moves in closer, forehead pushed against the machine. “There.” He commands and you shake your head.

“Nope.” You shift it more towards the right and then you smack the button with vigor. The claw descends and clutches the ear of the bear. The two of you stop breathing, watching as it slowly elevates, the plush hanging on the tips of the claw. It jostles and sways as it moves towards the opening and the both of you move even closer if it were possible, like two children watching with big eyes.

The claw moves over the opening and let’s go, the bear moving into the shoot and you can’t help but grin. You smoothly take it out of the prize slot, spinning on your heels to Yoongi and pressing the soft bear to his chest.

“Not all of us can be winners.” You whisper in his ear as he grabs hold of the cute teddy and he turns with his mouth baffled as you saunter away.

You might’ve been good at claw machines, you might’ve even taken your victory as a chance to boast but it only comes around to bite you back in the butt when he challenges you to a basketball match. Yoongi does a small jump before each shot, getting it in flawlessly even when the hoop begins to shift back and forth, his points racking up. You, on the other hand, it would be kind to say that you were struggling. Somehow the basketball hits against the rim, rebounding off and out the machine, making you have to chase it across the floor. Some kid even laughs at you and tosses you the ball and your wrath only increases when Yoongi starts snickering too.

Basketball feels more like a game of catch to you.

A crowd of pre-teens end up gathering around Yoongi, asking about his technique and if he’s part of any professional team. He brushes them off as the game ends, striding towards you to murmur in your ear- “Some winners can turn out to be losers too.”

He pats your shoulder with a smirk, walking away and along with the other kids, you’re baffled.

//

“Hey...watch it.” He huffs out, squished between your body and the wall. With the lack of space, he throws his arm over your shoulder and when you glance at him, he’s avoiding your gaze. “There’s no room.”

You scoff lightly before sliding the coin into the slot. The two of you are cramped together in a photo booth, fluorescent lights overhead and a curtain separating the quiet space to the noisy arcade. “Ready?”

“Go for it.”

When you click the button on the monitor, it gives you a three second countdown and you lean back on the bench. You tilt your head against Yoongi’s and he pulls you closer with his arm still draped around your shoulder. The both of you smile and it snaps. “Okay, a silly one now!”

You shift a bit more, puffing your cheeks out while focusing on your nose to go cross eyed. Yoongi gives an exaggerated grin, one that shows all his gums and that you’d probably see on a kid in elementary school during picture day or at the dentist office when they’re trying to show off their dentures. It snaps and then you break out into a massive giggling fit, unable to stop before the third photo is taken; one of you and Yoongi laughing together.

When you manage to calm down, Yoongi stares at you and you notice through the monitor. Turning to him to see if there was anything wrong, he kisses you and the last photo snaps.

Your eyes flutter shut and his hand moves to gently cup your cheek. Unlike the first kiss you ever shared, it isn’t rushed or sloppy, filled with intoxication or full of lip bites. Instead, it’s slow and calculated, soft and warm with his plush lips pressing against yours to linger in your taste. He kisses you with eyes still slightly open, cherishing in the way your long lashes dust on your blushing cheeks and how you’re completely relaxed in his touch.

Yoongi pulls away soon after and you let a gentle sigh leave your faintly pulsating lips. When you open your eyes, he has a shit-eating grin as if he won a marathon race or was given the nobel winning prize. “I never said you could kiss me.” The words leave in more of a whine than you mean it to. Yoongi laughs at your pouting as he tries to repress his smile, climbing out the booth.

You snag the photo strips from the slot outside, eyes growing wide at the last photo of him kissing you while you’re still stunned. “What is it?” He grins again, trying to see but you turn around.

“I can’t believe it caught it in that second!”

“What? Show me!”

“No! It’s embarrassing!”

“Since when did you have any shame?” After spinning around and him chasing you, Yoongi finally manages to snag one of the two strips. He brings his arm up, protecting it from your grasp even when you try to jump to take it back. If possible his smile widens more as he stares and you eventually give up. “Can I keep it?” He asks, lowering his hand and looking at you with an endearing gaze.

“Fine…” You grumble. “I mean….there’s two of them anyways.”  

Yoongi smiles, tucking it away before the both of you wander back into the arcade. “Sorry for kissing you.” He clears his throat, avoiding your fixed stare. “I...should have asked you.”

“It’s fine.” You mumble back. “I don’t mind.” not in the least bit. “Last time….last time…” Memories of pulling him in spontaneously for a smooch flood in as quickly as your face rises with heat. You cringe, the humiliation coming back to slap you in full force.

Yoongi laughs. “Let’s just say we’re even then.”

“Fair enough.”

//

As if things couldn’t get more childish, someone you’ve ended up in a game of laser tag. The arena is completely pitch black except for the neon lights lining against the walls and occasionally on the floor. The gun is held in your arms, finger on the trigger to shoot and you’re turning around constantly. Never before has children’s giggles sounded more menacing, worse than shrill screams in a haunted mansion.

“Yoongi?” You whisper out harshly. He had disappeared by your side, gone into the abyss and you wondered if he was getting mobbed by kids somewhere. The thought brought merciless shivers up your spine. “Yoongi?!”

“I’m here!” His voice shouts out and you stare at the ceiling.

“Where?!” You’re starting to run, passing walls through the endless maze.

“Here!”

As you turn the corner, you come roughly colliding into another body and before you can plunge backwards, arms snake and grab around your waist to keep you steady. “It’s me. Calm down.” His voice soothes you and you notice the neon band around his arm is the same colour as yours. “I’m here.”

You feel safer with him by your side, breath instantly settling.

The both of you had registered together as a team and now you were against twenty kids who were here for a birthday party. You didn’t even understand why the kids were here so late at night but they were and they were absolutely heartless.

With your backs pressed together and the gun held up in your hands, it felt like it was just you and him against the entire world.

But it was quiet. Too quiet.  

“Y/N! WATCH OUT!” Yoongi shouts as someone jumps from the corner, their giggles evilly ricocheting in your eardrums. It takes less than one heartbeat for them to pull the trigger and time slows down even more as Yoongi dives, putting his hands on your shoulders and spinning you around. A sharp gasps leave your lips as he hugs you close to his chest and then you feel the force of him being hit.

He grows limp in your arms and you cry out. “God! PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!”

“I’ve….I’ve been shot Y/N.”

“No! NO!”

He falls to the ground and you embrace his body. “Yoongi! Please! Talk to me! Talk to me!”

“Listen…” His voice barely manages to croak out as he lifts his hand to cup your cheek. “I...I lov-”

All the lights flicker back on, the fluorescent streams blinding your eyes as the children’s laughter drowns out as they leave the arena. With his head in your lap and the gun abandoned by your side, the both of you burst out into laughter. “C’mon. Let’s go.”

//

The rest of the night ends as you tear it up at the karaoke place next door.

Driving one day, the radio was playing songs that you had listened to a million times over and a thought struck you. Digging in your bag, you placed his mixtape in and you were pleasantly surprised. Yoongi wasn’t lying when he said he had a passion for music but he was much too humble about it - he was amazing. You found yourself jamming out, the entire car shaking to his beats and voice and then when you got to the skit part, you almost died. Literally.

His husky voice is soothing to the point where it was practically asmr. Driving home from work, you almost fell asleep at the wheel. It was dangerous. Yoongi is a very dangerous man.

Unfortunately, his singing skills don’t seem to be on par with his rapping skills but you don’t mind. It’s not like you’re that great either and you wondered what it sounded like to outsiders as the both of you were screaming melodies into the microphone. The karaoke machine wasn’t giving you points on the quality of your voice but rather the volume.

As you both screamed together, singing with passion that made your voice raw, you both kept scoring 100’s.

By the time the night ended, you couldn’t speak anymore and neither could he.

At the entrance, you both paid equally and you pointed your thumb to the door, signally that you were going to call it a night and go home. He quickly grabbed onto your wrist and mouthed ‘wait’. He then mouthed something that you couldn’t understand so you turned to the lady behind the desk.

You pretended to hold up a pencil and used your hand as a notepad and she understood, eyes lighting up as she handed you a sticky note and a pen from her desk. You handed it to Yoongi and he wrote with haste- ‘Can I have your number?’.

A smile reached your lips but then it died just as quickly. ‘No.’.

He frowned and took the pen immediately. It stilled as you saw the gears in his head turning. He finally wrote back one word- ‘Why?’.

It was true that you enjoyed your time with Yoongi, loved it in fact and it was so much better than how you were expecting your night to turn out. A few weeks ago, you would’ve been mortified to see him again and never would you have guessed that there would be a second time.

And it scared you.

After you’ve had your heart broken numerous times and sitting through a hundred first dates for other people, you had decided that you were done with romance. There were so many times that people dated for fun, in the heat of the moment and it never turned into anything serious. You were done with wasting your time and you didn’t want to head down the same path to get hurt again.

You liked Yoongi and it scared you. You just didn’t have the confidence to do everything all over again, to love all over again.

‘I don’t date’.

With that, you set the pen down. You slid the paper over the counter to him and walked away without looking back once.

The feelings that made your heart stutter needed to disappear.

There are two knocks at your door. “Come in!”

There’s a held silence after the door opens and you peel your eyes away from the computer screen. “There’s a meeting in the conference room with your new client…?” Your timid intern mutters and you nod, saving the documents that you’re working on.

With every new client that comes, an interview is an absolute necessity to know what they’re looking for in order to filter through their potential suitors. “You’re going to ask some questions today, okay?” Your intern is trailing behind you, quickly matching your strides. She nods. “Don’t be shy. You’ll do fine.”

It’s when you reach the conference room, do you falter yourself. There’s a familiar mop of black hair sitting at the front chair, back turned to you and you do a quick prayer that it isn’t who you think it is.

“A-are you okay?” Your intern pipes up and you snap out of your trance, clearing your throat and finally pulling the door open.

“Good morning…” Your intern flips the page on her clipboard. “....Mr. Min.”

He turns around and as you walk past to sit on the other side of the table, both of your eyes glue together. You nearly end up tripping on the carpet and over your heels and he smirks at your surprise. He opens his mouth, a husky voice emitting- “Good morning.”

You curse at yourself for not looking at the file beforehand, being too swamped up with other paperwork. Had you known, you would’ve gotten someone else to conduct the interview.

Your intern hands him a contract and she introduces him to the entire company, running through the procedures. She glances at you a few times for confirmation but upon hearing nothing, she continues. The entire time, Yoongi’s gaze is fixed onto you with eyes that you can’t decipher and you’re stuck in a daze, frozen and unable to think.

“We’re just going to ask you a few questions to be able to match your future suitors with more accuracy.” Your intern flips another page. “Are you looking for anything in particular in regards to appearance?”  

Yoongi smiles at you. “Someone really beautiful….especially when they smile.”

“Okay.” Your intern jots something down and with the intensity of his gaze, you can’t look away. “Anything else?”

“No.”

“Alright. Is there anything you’re looking for in particular in regards to personality?”

“Someone critical of others, blunt and straightforward.” He smiles. “Someone shameless enough to outright stare at me on the first date but also someone who can get easily flustered.”

Your intern jots things down at the speed of light, too focused and nervous to notice the sparks exchanged between you and Yoongi’s stares. ‘What are you doing here?’ You try to convey a message through telepathy and he smirks at you. You curse at why the conference room had to be made of glass, all the employees walking past and glancing in. He’s a potential client and there are strict rules in place. You can’t outright stand up to leave and even if you came up with an excuse, with the way he scrutinizes you, you don’t have any strength left in your legs.

“Anything else?”

“Someone who wants to start a family with me.” A tiny chuckle leaves his lips as he finally turns to your intern.

“Are there any interests that you would like this person to have?” She asks, moving on to the next question on the form.

“A wine enthusiast.”

Your intern gives you a quick glance, aware that you really enjoy wine since she had been witness to your drunk self once at a work party. She brushes it off and jots it down. “Someone who abandoned their old partying days but still likes to play games and lose their voice at karaoke.”

There’s a pause and your intern can’t hide her frown at how oddly specific it is. “Al...right then.”

“Someone who thinks I’m cute.” Yoongi turns back to you with an all too knowing smile. You can’t help but let the side of your lip tug upwards as you roll your eyes at him.

“We’re just about done here.” Your intern nods her head. “Is there anything special? Any other details that we haven’t mentioned yet?”

He purses his lips in thought, staring at the ceiling. “Someone with a kink in begging. Oh. But they like the other person to beg, not themselves.” Your intern’s pen freezes on the paper and your jaw drops. “And they like to be occasionally tied up.”

She clears her throat, looking at you for help but your eyes are stuck on Yoongi’s. She swallows and looks down at the form. “And….and...um….uh..are you looking for a serious relationship or a fli-”

“Marriage.” He cuts her off with a smirk, enunciating each word carefully and slowly while boring eyes deep into your skin. “I don’t date. I’m looking for marriage.”

There’s a long silence, terribly long for an entire minute.

Your intern is hit with realization with the way you’re both gazing at each other and she slowly slides next to you. “Um...boss….should I go?”

“That...would be nice.” You nod your head. “Just for a moment.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice and bolts up from her seat without pushing her chair in, running out the room and closing the door behind her.

You immediately frown at him, crossing your arms and scoffing. “What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing here?” He smirks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Playing games with me.”

“No.” His lips turn into a straight line and he sits straighter. The serious tension builds up and you swallow hard. “I’m not playing games.”

“Then what?” You ask him in a softer voice.

“I’m not looking to just date or play around. Isn’t it obvious?”

There’s another pause until he grunts in frustration and declares- “I fucking like you so much, okay?!”

Your heart flips in your chest and your cheeks heat up. Suddenly you're angry with his tone. “Well how am I supposed to know? I’m just tired of all this okay?! I’m tired with love.” “And I’m tired of you!” He retorts. “Stop making me feel this way!”

“That’s not my fault!” You shout back at him. “I can’t control how you feel!”

“Well you did this to me!” He points at you, his usually calm demeanor being casted over with a red tide that somehow you can only cause. “How was I supposed to know that I would meet you on that first date? I was expecting to just leave after two minutes!”

“Well it’s my job.” You nag at him. “I go on first dates for other people.” Then it hits you- “How did you even find out that I worked here?!”

“How was I not suppose to find you?” He scoffs out, settling back in his chair. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Well-! You-! Ugh!” You’re defeated, mouth filling with cotton at his endless confessions and you can’t find any more words when your face is beet red. He smiles at you, crossing his arms.

You’re defeated. It’s his victory.

“Really..the things you make me say.” Never would Yoongi have admitted those things out loud for the life of him but you made him do it, easily too. “I really like you...okay?” His voice softens up and you’ve learnt how to read people enough to know how each of his words carry absolute sincerity.

“I like you, Y/N.”

You sigh, mumbling without looking at him. “If there’s a third date….there has to be a twentieth or a thirtieth…..don’t leave me hanging. I don’t want to fall in love by myself...”

“Girl.” He smiles, gums showing in his grin. “There won’t even be a hundredth. It’ll be forever.”

[ikonmenow]

maze » chapter one » jcw

cr. of the gif to the rightful owner(s)

chapter one | chapter two

A pair of eyes landed on the grave right before them; they belonged to a female whose knees had lost strength and whose brain carried the guilt of the situation. Her anger had consumed her long ago; it had been two years since the incident happened. Two years without finding the body that was replaced by a simple photography inside a small box and buried under the dirty ground. However, to lighten the sadness, the ground was nice enough to let some grass grow on it, making it somehow less disturbing to stare at. ‘’I’m so sorry, Chanwoo.’’ she whispered quietly as she touched the grass. Countless theories had ran across her mind thanks to the body that was missing. ‘’I’m so sorry.’’ she cried out, yet again, resting her forehead on the grass as her hands turned into two tight fists. ‘’I promise you, I’ll find the person who did this to you and we’ll have a proper goodbye…’’

The female got up slowly, after half an hour of crying. She straightened her outfit and stared down at the place her boyfriend was supposed to be buried in. ‘’It’s a promise, okay?’’ she whispered as if she was actually talking to him. Sighing, she walked back to the car that she parked. It gave away there was an officer. The blue and red light on top of the car called out police. ‘’So, you done for today?’’ a guy asked as she entered the car. The female looked away, wiping away a last tear she had allowed to roll down her features. She didn’t talk back to him, she was too sad. ‘’You have to let go of this, he’s long gone. He can’t possibly be alive, he died when you pulled the trigger.’’ the female bit her lip at how the truth was hidden. She didn’t pull the trigger. The last thing she remembered was a darkness she hated and hearing Chanwoo whisper to her everything would be alright.

He lied. Things were not alright. She was suffering and if he wasn’t dead, then he was suffering as well. She never brought herself to tell what really happened because she knew that people would just call her crazy. She would probably lose her job and that was the last thing she wanted - she promised countless times, she would find her boyfriend, dead or alive. She would. She knew she would. Even if nobody believed him.

‘’I don’t think you understand how much this is affecting your life. I don’t think you even notice what you’re doing to yourself. You shouldn’t be holding onto something like this!’’ the male groaned loudly, frustrated at the female who gripped the wheel tightly. ‘’I have a promise to keep.’’ she answered him, smiling a bit at what she just said. She promised it to Chanwoo. ‘’For fuck’s sake. He’s dead. His body was buried! He no longer is here, don’t you get it? And what if you find his body? You won’t be able to recognize it. Do you think it’d do any good to you? Huh?’’ he was her friend, all he wanted, was to her to realize how her efforts would result in nothing. The female decided to simply nod her head to mask the fact she was not going to give up just because he told her to.

Starting the car got the male quiet. He sighed, shaking his head as he rest it back, finding the female’s actions more than annoying. He couldn’t understand why she couldn’t let Chanwoo go. He was friends with Chanwoo, if anything, he was the one she should thank for meeting Chanwoo. If he wasn’t there, they wouldn’t have meet. ‘’Look, I get that you’re suffering. I am too. He was my best friend but there are some things you have to open your hand from. You can’t save someone who’s condemned.’’ the honesty in his words made the female frown. It was all thanks to her. Thanks to her, her boyfriend went missing and by the looks of it, he was dead.

After a long day at work, Jisoo came home exhausted. Waking up in the morning to hit work was just not something she looked forward anymore as there was no Chanwoo to compete against. Her hands rest her gun on the bedside table she never really looked at for long enough to appreciate it. It had a photo of her and Chanwoo, a goofy one he forced her to be part of on one of their dates. Right in front of it, the alarm clock and by it’s left, the gun she just rest there. The lamp was pushed right on the back and maybe that was the only thing she would bother to look at. Looking at the photo brought bad memories back, memories she wanted to erase - at times like these, she thought the past should be kept in the past.

Jisoo stripped off her clothes while walking to the bathroom. She wanted to take a shower before going to bed. The day was long and without the shower, she wasn’t probably getting to sleep straight. It was Chanwoo’s ‘’death’’ anniversary. It was rare for her to sleep during that day. Something kept her awake, either crying or obsessed with the case they had in hands before he went missing. The way the water hit her body, washing off the deepest of her worries made her smile. She felt relieved. But nothing really lasted for long. She was well aware of it.

Once she was done with the shower, the female sighed, wrapping a towel around her body. She sat down on the bed, looking at her feet just to peek at her boyfriend’s picture. She frowned. A letter was on it. The female reached for her gun, looking around as she wondered who left it behind and most importantly, how that person managed to come in without making any noise. She made sure nobody was at home before she came back to her bedroom to read the letter.

Her eyes carefully read each word. Her brain froze for a second as she thought about what was going on. ‘’I never wanted to be hurt. Thanks to you who has hurt me, I now have the opportunity to repay you for the life you gave me.’’ she read quietly, frowning a bit just to notice it wasn’t signed. The female scoffed - she didn’t want to know about this threatening letter. She had nothing to lose anyways. Chanwoo was long gone, what could they get back at her with?

Before she could pull away the envelope, she noticed that there was something, other than the letter, waiting to be seen. She pulled it out, raising an eyebrow at the wedding invitation. Her eyes carefully examined it, trying to understand if she could figure out where all of it came from but there was no clue. She carefully opened the invitation, scrunching her nose at the name of the bride. ‘’Jihyo Shin?’’ she whispered to herself.

It was no surprise for her that even after the shower, due to the letter she received, the fact her eyes didn’t close. She didn’t sleep that night as the thought of who that Jihyo Shin was. Jisoo was a mess due to the lack of sleep. She got to work earlier, not paying attention to whatever she was doing anymore. ‘’Jisoo…’’ a voice called her but as she sat down, she didn’t mind whoever it was calling her. The voice, however, seemed to want attention. Her name kept being called out loud, only earning her attention after the owner of the voice finally slapped her arm rather gently. She glared at the direction she pictured the person on. It was Chanwoo’s best friend. ‘’It’s you…’’ the female sighed out, like it was an habit already. The male rolled his eyes quietly - who else would it be?

‘’Did you get some sleep?’’ he asked, sitting on the desk as the female stared at the computer she wasn’t going to work in as it was old enough to belong to her grandfather - it kept crashing. ‘’Of course.’’ she called out a simple answer that was just easy for the male to point out as a lie. ‘’You should’ve slept. What kept you up? You can’t just go around bringing up Chanwoo’s ghost. You’ll go cra-’’ she slapped the invitation she received the night before on his hands.

He stared at it quietly, examining it just to conclude it was a wedding invitation. ‘’What about this?’’ he asked, confused as he looked down at the female who was surprisingly looking at him. He raised an eyebrow as she shifted in her chair. ‘’This was sent to me last night but someone broke into my house. I was in the shower but when I came back, it was by Chanwoo’s picture. Don’t tell me it was his ghost.’’ she honestly told him, looking down at her hands as her brain still couldn’t get to whom that Jihyo was.

‘’What are you suggesting? Chanwoo left it there for you?’’ he laughed, ridiculing the situation even more. Her fierce eyes gave away just how keen she was on believing it was indeed Chanwoo who left it there. The male stared at her quietly. ‘’Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?’’ he shook his head slowly, obviously thinking she was crazy. ‘’Chanwoo’s dead. How many times do I have to repeat that for you to understand? He died when you pulled the fucking trigger. It’s your fault, okay? The only reason Chanwoo’s not standing here today, it’s because of you. I wanted to keep this to myself and help you get through this as well but I can’t. It was your fault and these ghosts you insist to keep living with, it’s the guilt consuming you!’’ he shouted, getting up from the desk just to smack the invitation on the dest. The female was surprised with his actions, with his words and hurt with the situation. He didn’t realize what he had said until the female looked elsewhere. ‘’I didn’t mean t-’’

‘’You’re right, this is my fault.’’ she admitted even though she knew it wasn’t the way he thought it was. It was her who told him the story and blamed herself therefore, she had to keep up with the act. ‘’I would turn back time and shoot myself instead if I could. I would trade places with him if I could but since I can’t… I’ll just keep living with the ghosts.’’ the male bit his lip, watching the female pick up the invitation and exit the building. He sighed quietly, running a hand through his hair. This was just not something he planned.

Meanwhile, the female had found her way to the outside. Her eyes read over and over the invitation, making her frown at the lack of the groom’s name. It was weird. Was the said Jihyo going to marry the air? She sighed. Her eyes came across an important information. The wedding would be held the day after. She wasn’t sure if she should go or not but she wanted to know who Jihyo actually was.

Decision made, she found out she should at least get dressed nicely. Maybe Jihyo was someone she knew and she didn’t remember and all the mystery was making her anxious. She just wanted the next day to come quicker so she could find out who was that female and who was groom. Could it be the ghosts she was accused of living with? Or was she just hallucinating? She wasn’t sure.

The sudden thought of the wedding made her stress. She was at work, and she needed to stay focused on what she was doing. It was decided, lunch hour would be for her to get her mind straight. The threaten she received only made her more curious about the wedding. What could all of it mean? Her mind was just full of questions. She bit her bottom lip, heading to the same care she drove the day before. ��’Chanwoo, should I go?’’ she looked up at the sky, as if admitting her boyfriend was dead. It was like admitting she was defeated. ‘’Give me a sign, help me out on this one…’’ she whispered quietly to herself as she knew she had gone crazy with all the situation.

‘’Jisoo.’’ a voice called out. She knew who that voice belonged to and she didn’t want to fight in that moment. The female got in the car as quickly as possible, hoping he wouldn’t catch up to her but it was Chanwoo’s best friend. He was alike him in some aspects. ‘’I didn’t mean what I said earlier.’’ he asked her for forgiveness but the female had already started the car. She didn’t want to listen to him. She knew she was alone in this and at some point, she knew he was right. Maybe she needed a distraction.

‘’The wedding it is…’’ she whispered as she drove off, leaving the male behind, frowning as he couldn’t understand what was going on even if he tried. He sighed, glaring up at the sky ‘’Why the hell did you leave me here with this… she’s so… UGH, JUNG CHANWOO!’’ he shouted his best friend’s name. The male was just frustrated.