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tiens-letters · 4 years ago

Text

upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

#genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x reader #zhongli #zhonglixreader #genshin impact drabbles #zhongli angst #morax

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lemonietrinket · 4 years ago

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Dreams Come True ||| Johnny x MakeupArtist!Reader

summary: johnny is kind to all the members of staff, and so you believe that he thinks no differently of you genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst but you have to squint, some more heated elements its john warning(s): slightly more inferred heated elements than i usually make, but otherwise none word count: 2189 song(s): ambience an: sorry anon for the wait! this really wasnt supposed to be long, i literally wrote it in my drabble format, and throughout it genuinely felt like it was only 1k words but... yeah. im not changing the format tho no sir. i havent the patience lmao

fem!reader

~~~

the beat of the bass bounced from wall to wall, thumping over the air at the stage and all the way through to the small room you and easily twenty others were mulling around in. a long time ago, the inability to see around the throngs of people—no matter if you knew them or not—would have unnerved you. but now, despite the way you had to curl over the counter of a vanity to make space for the other stylists, you felt at home. because even with your back to the wall, the vibrations running their unnatural fingers along your spine, the gentle smile of an even gentler giant was mere inches from your own, and it left you no option but to be enthralled by nothing but him.

he was grinning despite your repetitive comments asking him not to, as you extended the brush towards his cheeks—probably because you’d said them through small giggles of your own. it wasn’t your fault that his jokes were funny. he had the comedic timing of a god, teasing the others in such a way that it was impossible not to smile... right? he was too gorgeous to block out, but there was no way in hell you would admit that.

“what?” he enquired teasingly, eyebrows raising beneath the fluttering fingers of the hair stylist stood behind him.

you rolled your eyes, applying more colour to your brush just so you had an excuse to avoid his gaze. you knew full well he stared at people intentionally to make them nervous. you had no idea why he did it to you though. it made you take longer with his make-up and you were already falling behind—you didn’t even have to glance at the clock to know, the fact that you were working at the same time as another stylist was enough. you prayed the smooth breeze from the window was enough to cool the blush off your face as you attempted to focus upon your work, smoothing the rouge across his skin. but it was inevitable that he would capture your attention once again, and he did so with spending barely any effort. his chin tilted upwards for you to get a better view of your canvas, leaving you able to make sure everything was blended properly, but also very nearly unable to breathe.

johnny, the only man you were practically assigned to now after you’d proven your skills during a comeback late last year, was known for caring for the staff. holding doors, giving them space, sitting down so they can reach easier because it was his responsibility that he was a damn tree. since you were practically his personal make-up artist, it was thus no surprise that you were the focus of his caring nature. however, even you were beginning to question how far his gestures went. like now—now was one of those times.

“y/n,” he began, and you immediately caught onto that tone of mischief he always had when he was about to try and catch you off guard.

you sighed, biting your lip to try and remain serious in the face of what you knew would inevitably follow. “yes, john?”

he took that as his cue. “do you mind making my lips a little more red?”

glancing away from his eyes before you could get trapped in them, you stared intently at your handiwork instead. regarding his lips, you felt your eyes narrow. they were plenty bright enough, exactly how you’d done last time. ‘you sneak,’ you thought, ‘does he just find joy out of other people’s embarrassment?’ though you had to question yourself if you were really embarrassed, as a part of you was perfectly happy to bask in the opportunity of touching his plush lips. they were so full and soft that you couldn’t help but let your thoughts wander whenever you looked at them.

when you peered up, searching for the clock on the wall, you caught the hair stylist’s stare. she’d slowed her ministrations, and was now eyeing you blankly. only below the surface was there a glint of warning. you quickly glanced away, only to accidentally to meet johnny face on. he’d cocked his head on one side, brow creased in that way that threw your heart in a loop.

“pretty please?”

caught up in his handsome features you could feel the heat rising to your face once again. as much as you willed it away, deep down you knew it was no use. you cursed at yourself in your head, why do you take everything he says so seriously. there’s no way you actually mean anything more to him than just friendly coworker.

you swallowed with a nod, letting your fingers run aimlessly through your kit while you focused primarily on thinking about something else. dwelling on the impossible would do nothing but lower your mood and you knew that. still, it didn’t mean the tiny spools of daydreams didn’t occasionally slip through. they left you dazed when you came back to the real world, as if their tiny pinpricks of imaginary light grew to the size of blinding headlights in the pitch of night. upon your return you found that your gaze had barely left him at all—as soon as your eyes trickled away, they absently fled right back to him. a circumstance that he always looked so damn happy about. dreams don’t come true, y/n.

you hadn’t registered that the hair stylist had stalked away until johnny spoke up and his words left you fumbling in the mix of your own crush and the fear that someone had overheard.

“you look so cute when you’re focused,” he’d said, grin a hair-width from a knowing smirk, eyes curved in that gentle enticement. it was as if he wanted you to fall. had you not been reeling you perhaps would have scowled. you already had fallen, you didn’t need him to turn up the anti any more than he head—otherwise there would come a stutter that your heart didn’t recover from.

“sh-shut up,” you stammered, trying to hide the jump of your heartbeat behind a smile. but as his plush lips parted into a chuckle, your mind just trundled straight back to the dreamscape it always visited when you thought of them.

truly, no one would blame you, because kissing a man like that would be one of the true wonders of the world. the flashes of a possible time, where your lips melded with his and he held you close and safe, away from the rest of the world, where no crowd could ever hurt you, were tantalising to say the least. you bravely gulped them down.

it would not last however, as johnny was on a mission, it seemed, to make you blush as much as possible. so much for feeling calm.

when you poised your hand by his lips again, he merely insisted, “how can i? with someone like you right here... i just can’t help myself.”

you very nearly choked on those threads of dreams as well as the corniness, whilst he underlined all his words with a sweet smile. the one that made you want to cup his cheeks and feel the gravity of such a person before you.

you shook your head, to abandon the thoughts as well as shake him off. he’s just trying to make you laugh. “bleghh, now shush,” you managed, praying he’d take your simple response as a sign to quit.

alas, your poor heart, he did not.

“what? do you not believe me?” you didn’t peer up and instead took advantage of the tiny pause to brush more scarlet around the corner of his lips. it was short-lived however, as they then opened in exaggerated surprise, and you only just managed to pull away before you accidentally painted a faded gash across his chin. “you don’t believe me!”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, johnny,” you uttered, hesitantly peeking over at the clock to see the minute hand way too close to the hour for your liking.

he sighed, and had you actually regarded the entirety of his expression, you would have spotted how saddened he looked. “you don’t...? ah, y/n, how could you not realise just how beautiful you are?”

“johnny...” you tapered off. you had expected to come out in more of a warning tone, but with the seconds ticking by at an alarming rate, the elation at his words combined with the nerves and irritation at how you couldn’t do your job all combined to make it sound a lot more emotionless than its nature truly was.

“with your gorgeous smile, pretty eyes, adorable laugh, impeccable fashion sense...” he paused and you could have sworn his breath hitched in his throat, “really, it’s enough to ruin even the strongest of people around here, i w—”

in a desperate attempt to get your job done, without a single thought you raised your hand to grip his chin gently between your thumb and finger. and instantly, all the words he had been suddenly desperate to ramble in that moment were stolen off his tongue, the flirty smirk stilled.

for a few seconds you were stunned too, before the two minute call rose throughout the room like a game of chinese whispers. in a moment of sheer reflex, you attended to a minuscule patch of faded vermilion and further highlighted an extra line of shadow that in all honesty didn’t need renovation, all while your head span as you interrogated yourself and the world on as to what the hell johnny was playing at.

“there you’re done.”

your hand jumped away as if shocked by static, and you began to clean up your cramped workspace. you didn’t give a final look over your masterpiece, you knew the man could pull off pretty much anything thrown at, or in this case upon him. but he didn’t respond, and it was the uncharacteristic silence that brought out just enough confidence within you to turn your head towards him once again.

you find his honey eyes wide and a small and silent gasp upon those very lips that had said all those confident, sly things. his fingers were tentatively brushing against where yours had been, as if tracing the petals of a rose.

“i-i would know,” he finished out of the blue, expression still in his stupor.

“sorry?”

johnny’s pout was truly something to behold, and it was now different now. as the light in his eyes softened, he murmured just loud enough to be heard only by you over the chatter of staff and bandmates alike, “weren’t you listening?”

tracing backwards through the amalgamation of chaos that had been the past five minutes felt like it would take hours. somehow though, as in the peculiar nature of all thoughts and memories, you managed to trace back just far enough, for enough to fall into place piece by piece. and as soon as a part of the jigsaw was revealed, the wider picture came into focus. despite your own sheer disbelief.

“i... ruined you?”

he laughed sheepishly then, hand finally moving from his jaw to the back of his neck, the consideration of not ruining his hair style clearly skipping his mind. “well... in all the best terms of the word, yeah.”

silence filled the space between you, leaving the ruckus beyond to only grow and seep into your ears, like the cold of autumn through a forgotten window when the music stopped playing. instinct drew you forward then, as if it were pulling upon strings of fate. your hand twitched in your lap, ready to lift and hold him again, and it was as if both of you forgot where you were—johnny moved forwards in his seat much like you did.

but then came the frantic yell from the doorway. “johnny, what are you doing?! you’re on stage in literally thirty seconds—!”

the man swept to his feet, making sure to draw his face as close to your ear as he could get away with under the suspicious eyes of the staff surrounding you. you would argue that there was no way that could ever be construed as meaningless, but in the moment there was no way you could care.

“you’ll help me get this all off, right? after?” he asked, before he leant back.

you had offered him nothing but a smile, but he knew the gleam in your eyes. it was one of intrigue, one of excitement. with a final glance down to your lips, your crush strode off and out of the room, leaving you with a dozen pairs of eyes all focused intently on you and the bright grin on your face.

you cleared your throat, covering your mouth with the back of your hand as you nodded an apology to them, you hadn’t meant to make him late after all. but nothing could quell the joy that pulsed through your veins, and so you excused yourself for a small break outside to gather your breath in the cool night air.

maybe dreams do come true after all.

~~~

an: i dont like this. not one bit. i really struggled to write it bc creativity hates me so im really sorry :(( i hope ill edit it soon, for the benefit of everyone :/

also... im aware that the ambience isnt specific to the scenario right here, but—as much as i love the idea of the videos og scenario—this is the closest thing i could find to what i was after :(( please imagine more chatter with it

also can you tell i know nothing about makeup? ha

Masterlist

~~~

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narcissisticselfshippinsinner · 5 years ago

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ANGEL

DS Dream X DT Dream

This follows the head cannon that since Dream ate 1 apple he has mini wings instead of big ones like DS Dream.

DT Dream= Dream

DS Dream= Daydream/ Day

____________________________________________

Daydream found himself in the familiar land of the Dreamscape. The gold fluffy clouds spread over the land, looking soft enough to be cotton candy. Daydream ruffled his feathers before stretching out his wings and going air borne: making his way to the centre of the Dreamscape. There stood a mirror tree of the tree of feelings. Admittedly, the tree had seen better days: it being mostly dead. Daydream winced and pushed back menories: nostalgia filling his soul.

He looked for something to distract him from the onslaught of memories threatening to take him over. He always had control of his emotions and he wasn't going to loose that now. That's when he heard it: a hiccup followed by a sob. Successfully being distracted, Daydream searched for an aura releasing distress and negative feelings but was surprised to find none. The only indication of someone else being there, was the soul wrenching sobs and muffled chokes from the other.

Going the old fashioned way, Daydream used his keen sense of hearing: following the sound of hiccups and cries. He found himself under the mirror tree: on what used to be the side where the golden apples hung. He was close now- so close that he shut down his own aura to prevent the other from noticing him. As soon as he did, he could feel the other aura: though its posituvity was controversial to the soul stopping sobs coming from the other. It almost even felt like his own aura: though definitely weaker. He could feel his aura urging him to protect the other: get rid of the thing that was causing the other to cry. He pushed aside the feeling: only when Negativity ruled would he ever allow himself to succumb to his feelings and urges, which would never happen.

he could hear the others mumbled words followed by a series of sniffles and sobs.

"I-I *choke* failed h-him. Im s-such a *hic* h-horrible b-brother. Wh-why do I-I even ex-exist? A-all I-I do I-is *sob* g-get in t-the w-way of h-his ha-happiness. W-what ki-kind of b-brother d-does th-that?*choke* i-im such a f-failure. I-I should st-stob being s-selfish *sob* an-and g-give him his happiness. *choke* even...i-if that is m-my life-"

_________________________________________

Daydream gasped as he sat up in his king sized bed, his duvet falling to his lap. His golden eyes took in his surroundings as his wings twitched in agitation: feathers puffed up.

After gathering his bearings, he relaxed his wings: feathers smoothing out to their usual silky state. Shaking his head dismissively, he got up off the bed and went about his morning routine.

Leaving through his open window, Daydream gently flapped his wings as he lowered himself to the ground with grace only heard of through the legends of angels. His golden wings tucked into him as he limited his positive aura so that his presence could not be felt at all.

He had decided to take a walk. The woods outside his window seemed ideal with the woodland critters just waking up and small animals hustling about. The cool crisp clean air of the early morning provided a pleasant breeze as Daydream enjoyed the solitude of his walk. No expectations, No one to judge him- it was perfect.

Morning dew glittered on the leaves and petals of flowers and trees alike, giving the forest a surreal and magical feel. The sun hadn't risen yet: the sky a mix between pale blue and black: creating an odd harmony. The colours almost seemed nostalgic for some reason.

Shaking his head: Daydream continued his walk, determined to not let his paranoia and overthinking nature take hold of this relaxing walk of his. Alas, his efforts was is vain as the he spotted a odd tinge of yellow to the left of him. A golden yellow that definitely clashed with the cool colours of the morning forest.

'If I ever find out who decided to use this Forest as a dumping ground I swear I'll-'

Daydream's eye twitched in annoyance as he side tracked off the dirt path he was on and entered the bush. As he approached the yellow object, he could feel a weak but strangely positive aura. An aura that was strangely familiar. Rushing forward after realizing that it wasnt an object: bit was indeed a person, Daydream pushed through the thick foliage and found himself on a small clearing.

Daydream's golden eyesockets widened as he took in the person infront him. There: unconsions on the ground, lay a skeleton monster clad in golden yellow and black clothes. That wasn't the fact that seemed to leave Daydream speechless though. What put Daydream into shock was the golden glistening crown that sat snugly on the others head. That and how similar the other looked liked to him in the past: though, past Daydream was taller and less...rounded than the other skeleton.

Getting over his shock, Daydream went over to the other skeletons side. He could feel his suppressed aura screaming at him to protect the other: to make sure he was safe. Once again ignoring the pleas of his aura: he checked the other skeletons soul pulse. After finding it weak, he sighed and picked up the other skeleton: much to his auras delight. Hating himself for giving his aura what it wanted: Daydream spread out his wings and took off back towards his castle, the sun rise causing hues of gold, pink and orange to dance across the sky and light up the area. Not that Daydream noticed: his mind focused on the smaller in his arms.

_________________________________________

"Mmmgg"

Dream groaned as Sunlight penetrated his eyelids. Turning around, he snuggled himself into the warmth of the soft duvet covering him.

'...Wait- duvet?'

Snapping his eyes open before wincing at the bright light, Dream sat up in both panic and confusion: a million thoughts running through his head at once.

'Where am I?- what happened?- aren't I supposed to be in the voi-'

Luckily, his barrage of thoughts were broken by a groan next to him. Slowly looking beside him- Dream saw another skeleton leaned back on a chair: asleep. A comidic snot bubble grew and shrunk as the other slept. Strangely enough, Dream could've swore the other was Ink. The only difference being the others attire and paint mark.

Only when the others shot bubble popped and he woke up groggily, did Dream confirm that the other was not infact just Ink in another outfit. The other had a grumpy aura, shown though his heterocromic eyes: one a green square and the other an orange triangle. As the other blinked the sleep put of his eye sockets, Dream took note on how the others eyelights remained the same, further adding to his confirmations on the others identity.

The Ink lookalike groaned in annoyance as he noticed that Dream was awake, making Dream wince at the reaction. Focusing his aura slightly, Dream noticed how the others annoyed expression turned slightly happy before going back to annoyed.

"Stop that." The Ink lookalike spat, startling the guardian. "Stop trying to control my emotions. Your not even as good at Boss when it comes to that so why try?"

Dream tilted his head in confusion. "Who's... boss?"

FakeInk chucked before growling at the other, earning a whimper from Dream. "I don't have to tell ya anything pipsqueak. All I was told to do was watchya until you woke up. And now that your up, I'm outa here."

Before Dream could awnser, the taller got up and dragged himself out the door: the door clicking shut behind him.

Not knowing whether to try and leave or to stay: Dream sat in the bed awkwardly for a few seconds. Taking in his surroundings, Dream found himself in a bedroom: the themes that of warm colours and different shades of yellow. The bed he sat in was king sized and the duvet and pillows surrounding his were the fluffiest and warmest he had ever felt. Directly infront of him was a large arched doorway: surprisingly with no door as it lead to a small balcony: the blinding light reflecting off the floor indicating it was noon.

Before Dream had the chance to get up and explore the rest of the room, a swify knock was sounded at the door before the door was pushed open and closed silently. Dream watched the figure enter the room quietly, his eyesockets widening at the face infront of him. The other skeleton looked oddly similar to him, though his face was more defined, he was way taller, his eyesockets were fully gold and the two massive golden wings behind his back- not to mention his attire. Dream couldn't feel the others aura as he stared at his somewhat lookalike in curiosity and confusion.

The taller sat down on the bed next to Dream: his wings folded behind his back. Dream couldn't help the shivers down his spine as the other spoke: "Good afternoon. How was your rest?"

Dream looked around akwardly: avoiding eye contact with the taller. "Em... good I guess?" He mumbled passively.

Daydream's soul skipped a beat. Whether it was out of excitement or realization that the others voice was that of the person's in the Dreamscape, he would never know. His aura was once again urging him to comfort the smaller: love him, protect him and make sure he was alright. Luckily for Daydream, he had pretty good self control. And so, they ended up spending the rest of the evening, talking and sharing information: the uncomfortable sansation hanging in the air disappearing, leaving a pleasant and calm atmosphere.

_________________________________________

It had been a few weeks since Dream had started living at the JR. At first, he was sceptical of everyone: including Daydream, but after awhile, he got used to them. Kinda.

The first time Daydream had released his aura to Dream, Dream felt so overwhelmed he fell into a trance: his aura taking over his actions in replacement for his short circuited brain. Let's just say it was very difficult for Daydream not to snuggle the smaller as Dream clung onto him like an adorable koala.

Time, however, passed and Dream had slowly been getting used to the others aura: now able to stand Daydream's aura without short circuiting 65% of the time.

One can imagine the surprize (and hidden delight) when Daydream accidentally found out about Dream's wings. Usually hidden under his clothes, Dream had a pair of adorable little golden angel wings: formed due to his consumption of the last golden apple in Dreamtale.

After this discovery, Daydream had another problem on his plate: that being having to control the urge to preen the smallers wings.

___

Goddamn this stupid aura of his.

Daydream mentally grumbled as he finished his third load of paperwork for the day. A pale yellow blush was dusted along his cheekbones as he couldn't help but feel empty. Like he wanted something- no. Someone to be with him at that very moment. To sit on his lap so he could cuddle the other: nerves calm due to the feeling of the other tucked away safely in his arms.

Not that that'll ever happen. His stubbornness and mental inability to give into his feeling and urges preventing him. He had to stay in control: a perfect angel for those who follow him, a role model. And what kind of role model doesn't have control over themselves, physically and mentally?

However, history has a cruel way of repeating itself. So once again, Daydream walked upto the guest room: having to call Dream for lunch. After knocking on the door, he waited. After a few minutes, he knocked again. A unknown source of worry started coursing through him: His aura once again active in pushing him to check on the smaller. Before Daydream had time to think of it, he pushed open the door and took a step inside.

Just as he entered the room, the bathroom door swung open and in came a shirtless Dream: his ribs and small wings visible for the world to see.

Daydream felt something in him snap. Probably his patience and self control as he promptly walked up to the embarrassed and slightly confused Dream: and picked him up bridal style.

An ominous shadow hung over Daydream's eyelights, hiding them from view. Giving out a startled yelp: Dreams feathers puffed up as the taller held him securely in his arms. Dream struggled in the others arms: confusion and (gay) panic fuelling his actions. That is until he suddenly felt a somewhat familiar warm yet fuzzy aura surround him. Dreams brain felt like ooze as he felt himself melt into Daydreams aura and hold.

As Dream struggled in Daydream's grasp: Daydream could feel the panic and confusion radiating off the smaller. Therefore he had unconsciously released his aura: once again overwhelming Dream and causing the other to instantly relax in his grip. As Daydream made his way to his room, he could feel his soul dance with joy and his aura sing as Dream snuggled and cuddled into his chest.

Opening and closing his door using his foot, Daydream brought the smaller over to his bed. Sitting up against the bed, he pulled the smaller into his lap: spooning the other from behind. Daydream's eyes were glazed over by the (usually held back) emotions and feelings that had taken over his mind. His actions fueled by his aura and soul. Lovingly cradling the other, Daydream nuzzeled Dream's neck before moving his hands upto Dream's adorably tiny wings. Dream started purring in satisfaction as Daydream started to preen the others wings: smoothing out the small soft feathers. Dream learnt into Daydream, loving how the others aura covered him like a protective yet loving blanket. He had never felt safer and more loved than this. Dream felt relaxed and truly happy as his aura sang out a symphony of joy. This was the place to be: in Daydream's arms.

_________________________________________

Dream winced as he woke up to a slight head ache. Sitting up: he once again found himself in the first room he had woken up in: Daydream's room. Even though he was sitting up and the duvet that once covered him was in a bundle at his lap, Dream felt strangely warm. That's when he noticed the large jacket draped over him: Daydream's jacket. He also seemed to notice his lack of a shirt, leading the smaller to pull the coat infront of him: cheekbones lit up gold in embarrassment.

*thunk*

Dream almost jumped out of his nonexistent skin when he heard a strange banging sound. Eyes scanning the area, Dream came to the conclusion that the sound came from the bathroom. Getting off the bed silently and wearing the jacket properly, Dream quietly made his way over to the bathroom: the sleeves of the jacket covering his hands. Dream almost tripped over the jacket as its bottom reached just above his knees. Luckily he regained his balance on time and found himself peeking through the entrance to the bathroom.

His eyes widened in surprise as he found himself looking at Daydream with his head against the bathroom wall: the others fists curled up and pressed against said wall.

Dream felt a strange sense of worry overcome him, running up to the taller he pulled the other away from the wall: sighing in relief at the small bruise on the top of his skull.

"Why would you do that!?" Dream's voice tinkled making Daydream's aura activate and urge him into another cuddle session with the smaller.

Grinding his teeth, Daydream clenched his fists harder: almost drawing blood. Since when was it this difficult to control his urges and feelings? Dream could feel the others feelings spike: his positive aura being suppressed. Daydream's internal turmoil came to a stop as he felt two warm arms surround his torso. Though weak, Daydream could feel the others aura calm him as the storm that ravaged his mind came to a standstill. He didn't know when the tears had started fo flow, but once they did, they flowed like a opened dam: free of the artificial restraints holding it back. He found it hard to breath as sobs forced their way out of his throat: shaking his body to the core.

Dream smiled softly as he rubbed comforting circles on the others lower torso and wings: feathers soft to the touch. It had been the first time Dream had seen the other express their emotions freely: a strong and impenetrable wall bottling it up all this time. Dream could feel his aura begging him to comfort the taller, which he gave into instantly: arms pulling Daydream closer as the other collapsed into his arms.

Dream whispered reassurances and loving words to the taller as Daydream buried his face into Dreams slender chest: his tears soaking through his own jacket. He had never felt this weak before. So...not in control. And it scared him. How could he be their angel if he couldn't even control his emotions. How could he lead them it he couldn't even stop a measly break down such as this?

Daydream felt as though his head was splitting with all the built up and hidden emotions spilling out of him through his sobs and cries.

*Daydream cried for help.

...

*and somebody came

Daydream suddenly became aware of the smaller supporting him: whispering words of comfort and reassurance. "Your going to be okay, Day. Its alright to let them out. It builds up who you are and nobody should have to restrain them." Dream's calming and motherly voice soothed the other: bringing him down from his attack.

Daydream was emotionally exhausted as he leaned into the smaller, hearing the others soul beat. Hoisting himself up, with Dream's help, Daydream stumbled upto his bed: collapsing on the soft sheets. With a bit more struggling, he managed to slip under his extremely fluffy duvet. However, before Dream could say goodbye and leave, an arm reached out and pulled the smaller into the bed.

Orange beams of light shone through the balcony doorway, lighting up the room in mesmerizing shades of orange, gold and reds. The sun setting over the horizon was evident as Dream could feel a intense yet strangely delightful heat cover his cheekbones as his soul beat sped up. Dream could feel his aura relax happily in satisfaction as Daydream pulled Dream into him: his arms curling around the smallers waist and wings circling over him protectively. Snuggling into Daydream's embrace, Dream could feel sleep pull at him: the comfort of Day's hold lulling him into the calming darkness...

_________________________________________

A/N

My God that took forever.

3175 words :)

#Dreamcest #dream sans #dreamscape #ds dream #mini wings #undertale #undertale au #oneshot #onebizarrekai #jokublog #what am i even doing with my life #sanscest #sans #dreamtale #dreamswap

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bijoulilou · 5 years ago

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If Eva and Justin Duarte Lived pt 1

It happened it again, that strange rustling in the forest. I hold my gym bag closer to my side as Taryn goes on about our teachers and what I missed during the day. Thanks to lacrosse practice, I had to miss her rehearsal for drama club. That's usually how it goes. Dad is supposed to pick us up but he's so busy commissioning some pieces for a collector.

Taryn always frowns and gets embarrassed when we tell people what our dad does. Nerd is how many people describe him but mom tells us to ignore them. She does calligraphy and has organic toiletries that many uppety women from our town love to splurge on. She spend all day making batches and selling them. Aside from the usual clients we also get some characters that come in that my mother ushers in to the back of her shop.

"I wish Vivienne would take me to one of her parties." Taryn mumbles, breaking me out of my reverie. I ask what she means and she rolls her eyes and tugs on my braids. Her hair almost identical to mine except she always has it down and naturally highlighted by mom's many concoctions. Honey's tones in her chestnut hair while mine is held back in a braid, has more reddish tones from being in the sun. Her skin highlighted by makeup while mine is always bare except for sunscreen and the stuff mom makes on my lips. "Jude, how can you be so clueless? Vivi has been going into the woods behind our house. She said she might take us one day." She squeals with excitement.

Vivi wasn't like Taryn and I, she was different. Growing up people would make comments and point out her eyes and ears. It once brought a lot of attention and we had to leave where we lived once in the middle of the night. Taryn doesnt remember but I do, I remember Vivi's eyes glowing in the dark as we talked to man with funny face and animal feet, his eyes glowed just like hers. For sometime we were home schooled in this new house we were walking to, near the forest. It wasnt until Vivi put her foot down and begged our parents to let us go to regular school that we finally got to hang around with normal people. Normal. That word felt so strange on my tongue, I tried not to say much. Especially in front of Vivi. That's all she wanted-to be like us. For her eyes to be a dull brown instead of a fiery amber with rounded ears instead of pointed ones. Sometimes she would change her features, in the way she could to look like us, human. But I would still know. After a while I kept my eyes open for others like her, and after a while I started to notice them and saw that I was watching. I clutched the crude hawthorn necklace mom made us wear. And Taryn hissed for me to put it away. I didn't and she grumbled the whole way home. I saw movement in the trees, the same tall lean figure, as pale as moonlight and just as dangerous. I gripped my bag and pushed on forward with Taryn loudly complaining of my rush when a boy with red hair steps out, surprising the both of us. Taryn doesn't see it at first but I do, that same inhuman way of movement and the laziness to his features. The same thing happens to Vivi when shes around iron for too long, but it feels different. its as if he were to lazy to put on a good show. He's smiles and introduces himself.

"Hello, I'm a friend of your sister Vivienne. Do you know if she's in?"

We're just down the road from our house, I can see it right down the path, through the the thicket of trees. I shake my head and don't answer. Trying to move around him but he's too fast. Taryn makes a little noise at the back of her throat and I'm relieved shes behind me as I give the boy a dark look. I'm wary that my lacrosse stick is on my dominant side, and my hand twitches at the thought.

"Locke, let's go these humans don't know where she is. Let's go before I get bored."

The dark hair boy I had noticed before walks over and presses the red head's shoulder in annoyance. I notice their strange clothing and I feel Taryn start to respond back.

"What do you mean human? Aren't you human too?" She asks and I fight the urge to narrow my eyes at how naive she is.

The boys share a look and their figures shift again revealing what I suspected they were. Just like Vivi only not entirely human at all. They're both so beautiful that it hurts to look but theres also something so unnerving about them that stirs the same primal urge to bare my teeth and growl at them the same way I see a dog snarl at wolves. Necessary and hopeless at the same time.

The dark haired one lifts his a cheek into a lopsided smirk. "Obviously we share some similarities with your absent sister. Alas, I'm not surprised to see you haven't noticed. With humans being as dull as they are."

My jaw tightens and before I can play along and feign ignorance like Taryn the red head, Locke as he was called looks at me with deep interest.

"You noticed though didn't you." He tsks and gets closer to observe. "You must be the clever one. Perhaps that's why you've been so interesting to--" his eyes begin to shift to the dark haired one whose rolled his eyes back in annoyance but I notice his grip on his friend tighten.

"Let. Us. Go. I hate to repeat myself." Locke recoils away from us, he smiles in a way to seem nonchalant but its obvious that he is wary of his friend's bad mood.

Just as they are about to turn Taryn makes a small noise and we all turn. "Vivi is probably waiting for you in the woods. She always goes there right before dark. Something about a party."

My eyes widen and I try to convey to Taryn that these boys are probably dangerous and looking for our Vivienne for a very bad reason. But Locke looks pleased and looks his arm through my sisters in glee

"Ah, you're probably right. Why dont we go meet her there?"

"No!" I say a little too loudly, the dark haired boy looks surprised at my outburst and I quickly try to rearrange my features. "Maybe shes waiting for us at home. You know how she likes to get ready for these sort of things." I smile uneasily and try to reach for Taryn but Locke wiskes her out of my grasp, she is too enamoured by him to notice.

"Maybe we should all meet up later, let us get ready?" Taryn smiles, totally entranced by Locke while I'm silently dying to run into our house and lock up the doors. Locke shakes his head. "

You look good enough to eat as is. Why bother?" Locke chuckles and moves to push Taryn's hair behind her ear.

"At least let us put down our bags-" Taryn giggles and Locke looks amused.

"Nonsense, let us carry them." He takes Taryn's bag and I grip mine tighter. "Surely, even you Cardan have some honor to hold a gentleman's bag." Locke grins coyly, and the hairs on my arms rise up.

The dark haired boy, Cardan, hisses and reaches out for my bag. I shrink back but he takes it anyway with an outstretched hand. Taryn and Locke have already gone into the forest, their laughter going deeper into the woods. I look up at Cardan whose trying his hardest to look bemused instead of concerned for his friend.

"C'mon human, I won't bite...at first." His lips tilt into a real grin but it feels like a threat. "If you don't your sister is going to be left with the likes of him, in a dark forest with a bunch of others like him."

"Fine." I bite out and hand him my bag. I stare at my lacrosse stick longingly. "Let's go, Cardan." I say mockingly. As I turn to walk after them, he grabs me by the elbow and I almost think he's going to strike me. But he doesn't instead he loops his arm through my own and leads me after them. He awkwardly carries the bag and I actually stop to show him that it's better when the strap is across the body, he stiffens as my hands go around him to adjust it. Almost as if he's never been touched before. My eyes go up to his and I can almost feel the pulse beneath my fingers on his chest.

For the first time I smile, " Don't worry I won't bite...at first." And I put my elbow out so we can loop our arms together again.

"What do I call you?" He asks after taking my arm and leading me once again to where hopefully Taryn, Vivi and Locke are.

"Ah," I say with a hint of sarcasm in my voice I answer" most refer to me as their majesty the Queen."

His eyes narrow and I can tell he doesnt find it the least bit funny. Technically I'm not joking, I do have the Queen on my varsity hoodie for Lacrosse and soccer. My reputation is that good that I've already been scouted for several schools , but I can tell Cardan could care less.

"What do I call you, my Queen?" There is surprisingly a bit of humor in his voice. I can't help but laugh and he watches in awe almost. " You can call me Jude."

#The queen of nothing

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victor-artist · 7 years ago

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LONG STORY SHORT

Sigh.... I don’t feel that good today

I mean I am happy i did a doodle for my friend and alll

but I feel so empty and all....

Lately I have been trying to improve on art and have seen I am not that sued to the pen

I will work on that .

I also am almost dying inside over and over again the lately since

no matter where I go to in my pc, I have something saved that connects to people I loved and well still do love but I feel so disgusted with myself still

I am currently still trying to improve on getting better but

some people were really supportive to me and I can’t be grateful enough for them on nagging me to get back to drawing

welll

as I stated before in many of my journals I have made I am still heart broken over a person

I am still trying to forget that person since all it does to me is... welll

I remember the good times and how supportive I was to it,

I recall how I spent so much of my time just being there for that person and tried my best to make them feel good and whenever they were down I was there for it

Right now I guess like my psychologist told me I am on a phase oh god saying this makes me actually cringe He told me I’d have serious problems with trusting people which is still true, I barely trust anyone anymore and barely allow anyone to really get close to me in any form of closure and avoid accepting anyone admiting they like me

I know it si stupid but.... if a person I truted for so damn long without question could break my heart, who else wouldn’t ?

so yeah, that is also the reason why I have avoided being actually social and posted so small things besides the big poems here and there.

Haven’t really taken the time to tell all i feel for real so decided to really roll my sleeves up and take the time .

I was in the USA a few weeks ago, I think 2 now? eeeeh doesn’t matter

I went there to basically do this

I wanted to really just give the biggest gift for the person that broke my heart which was me spending time with it irl

I know it is corny and all but it was something I had planned for a while and set the cogs in motion by just admitting my love to it

Hence the said person didn’t seem weirded out or angry at me for it, and the fact i admitted my love in voice if i recall right i tried be closer but not be to clingy and all.... heh Back then when i said the second time I had bought and paid the tickets and made the plan to be there for the 4th time i’d say i love you to it, Like face to face.

I wanted make it a sure the person was ok with me and

one day that person and I had a call and I admitted my love for the thrid time and everything went fine

I had the tickets paid, planned the car route to around its area and well....

I think by now you all know fact I enjoy doing erps/rps and all.

I used to rp with said person in all ways as I liked to so it was common for us just to waste time with it I guess, well spending time together wasnt a waste so that means it was time well spent? bleh, look at it with a pinch of salt i guess SOOOOO..... how to start with it then, we were talking here and there and started rping but mid of it the person wanted to see me shoot a l9oad, which even though it is supposed to be “private“ and a thing a person shouldn’t admit online what so ever

.w. I don’t really care at all, no shame about what i did

so several times I have taken a jack off and had the rps in mind so the person liked to see me squirm away a load for our rps

so the person wanted to see me make a mess thanks to the thing but

once i started getting all romantic and hinte out a sign of love

I guess that was around the time the person said we couldn’t be dirty onto one another and I was like

“Oh you aren’t in the mood?“

it took a bit before the person started saying he couldn’t anymore until it started saying for me to guess

... well.... I told this person time after time about my feelings about people using me and having a relationship.... and then come and just smutt rp away with me

and welll....

alas

the person admitted it had someone in mind

for 3 months.... same 3 months I was planning the trip, the route, the everything really....

I was down right crushed, I didn’t know what to do, i just shut myself away from it, the following days I was nonstop sad and having near ep seizures. so I drugged myself with my meds to keep me safe, somehow I think it was either it or me who unblocked him and when i came to my senses the person was trying to befriend me .... it felt disgusting....

you know that feeling when your heart doesnt wanna admit the ruth but your mind clearly sees it.... knowing we did all those filthy things and it had a person in its mind

it felt so bad.... so yeah I was so sick of it i tried killing myself, i think i took around 5 pills of morphine I had left over from when I had a surgery and just slept

however I did wake up again and so, came the trip to the USA

it was really pleasant and i loved it all, I had to adjust the whole trip’s car route so i’d avoid the area where it lived but i did in fact pass by it and saw the person irl

heh.... you know how you’re so close and yet so frigging far?

that was the feeling i felt that moment, It was good we left the area as fast as we went there and went back to sweden .

I don’t think I am really ready to fully open up back to loving people or trusting them that much....

but hey, guess I will have to just try my best and all.

None the less, for whoever is actually reading this and all

I don’t really want any likes or reblogs on this ok? keep it here and all.

NONE THE LESS, I am back for good

#journal #Victor explain #victor-artist

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eatplaywanderrv · 7 years ago

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We took our boys out on a road trip to the coast for some ocean fishing and so they could try out the trailer. Our daughter stayed home because she had work and barbering school so she took care of the dogs for us.

On our way to Corpus Christi. Had to make a pit stop at Pilot Travel Center to fix a

malfunctioning break light/blinker on the trailer. Deputy Sheriff that pulled us over was kind enough to let us go with a warning.

We were still stuck at Pilot for over an hour whenever it started raining, so we took a lunch break in the trailer hoping the rain would pass soon. Lights still not working. 😢

We decided to call AAA and see what they could do for us. They located a repair shop that was at the next exit so we headed over to Groovy automotive. Our oldest son followed us in his truck pulling the boat. Since we were going to be a while, he asked if he could go ahead without us and check in to our campsite and then go do some fishing while he waits for us, so we let him go ahead of us. We were there about 3 hours, but the guys at Groovy got us fixed up and back on the road. Yaay!!

Yaaaay!!! Groovy Auto got us back in the road!!!#happygal — at Groovy automotive.

It’s a road trip rule that you HAVE TO stop at Buc-ee’s!! My kiddos love this place. We visited the one in New Braunfels, Tx. The place is HUGE. It has the cleanest public bathrooms evah!

#roadtriprules #gottastopatbucees — at Buccee”s #22 New Braunfels Tx.

This has NOT been our day! About 4 hours after getting back on the road from the issue with the lights, we had a blow out 30 mins from our destination in Corpus Christi, Texas .😡 Thankfully, the blow out was right at an exit and just at the end of the exit ramp we were able to pull over into a new and used tire place and the worker was still there! Yay!

Brizuela’s New and Used Tires.

9 minutes til we reach our destination!!! — at South Padre National Seashore.

We finally arrived at our campsite at Mustang Island State Park just after it started getting dark but still enough light to see what we were doing to park the trailer.

Finally arrived!! — feeling thankful at Mustang Island Corpus Christi Tx.

We were all starving when we finally arrived, our oldest son had been waiting quite some time for us to arrive so he was starving too. He wasnt able to catch any fish for us to cook up, so I quickly whipped up some dorito beef nachos. Already had the taco meat cooked and frozen so just had to thaw it out in the electric skillet, open a bag of doritos and add our toppings! It was super yummo and hit the spot!

Finally eating dinner. Dorito Nachos! Yummo.

The next morning, we cooked up some eggs and bacon for breakfast, packed up some sandwiches for lunch, then headed out for a day on the beach!

Aaaaaah!!!! — finally at the beach at Mustang Island Corpus Christi Tx.

The boys wanted to try their hand at some fishing, so we hooked up the boat and headed over to Padre Island to fish in the Corpus Christi Bay near the JFK Bridge. It didn’t go so well. 😦 After we got the boat out on the water a little ways, the engine died. The boys worked on it and got it to start again so we headed further out to do some fishing…. except that it died again and we were stuck out in the middle of the water.

Stranded out in the middle of the bay with a dead boat engine, we decided to have a picnic lunch while we waited for the current to drift us closer to shore. We had a couple of short paddles, so we paddled as much as we could and made it back to shallow water where my oldest son and Leo were able to push our boat back to the boat ramp. Once at the dock, my oldest son went and got the truck and backed in the trailer so we could push the boat back onto it. While getting the boat secured to the trailer, Leo slipped on the wet and slimy boat ramp and hit his elbow on a sharp metal piece of the trailer. He sliced his elbow on the sharp metal and bruised the bone. His elbow swelled up a bit and was visibly bruised a couple days later. 😦 But we finally got it back on the trailer and out of the water.

Some damn good clam chowder! — at Doc’s Seafood-Padre Island.

Bruised and sunburned, and bummed that we couldn’t fish from the boat, we didn’t let that spoil our trip. We stopped off at Docs Seafood and Steaks for dinner and had some damn good clam chowder. All the food we had was amazing, and it came with the most amazing view of the sunset over the Bay. After dinner, we took the boat back to the campsite, unhooked it, and called it a night.

Sunset o’er the bay — at Doc’s Seafood-Padre Island.

The next day, we trekked back out to Corpus Christi Bay at Padre Island. We grabbed a late breakfast at Whataburger. There is a Whataburger on pretty much every street corner in Corpus Christi. I kid you not.

After Breakfast, we visited a few gift shops before heading over to Clems Marina. They have a pier there that they will let you fish off of for a small fee. You can even rent fishing poles from them. We rented some poles, bought some mullet and tried our hand at fishing but didnt have much luck. After we used up all the bait we purchased, the guy at the bait shop said under the JFK bridge was the best place to catch live mullet. So we bought a casting net hiked over to the bridge so Leo and our oldest boy could try their hand at casting the net and collecting mullet, but it was a no go. They got nothin. We could see them swimming around, but apparently there is an art to casting and bringing in the net with fish actually in it! They obviously don’t possess that skill yet.

Meanwhile, my youngest son and I went scouting for sea shells. We found quite a few, but they were all inhabited by hermit crabs! Every single one of them!

Feeling defeated and hungry, we drove back to the camp to make some burgers for dinner, then ventured back out to the beach. The boys built a sand castle, and when the sun went down, the crabs came out!

Coming back from Padre Island, we noticed a nice little RV resort not far from where we were at Mustang State Park. We decided to spend our last day and night at the nice resort so we called and booked a reservation for the next day.

We are here — at Gulf Waters Beach Front RV Resort.

The next morning we packed up and drove over to Gulf Waters Beach Front RV Resort. It was a very nice resort. The property was immaculate, private showers were super clean, with a boardwalk to the beach, pretty ponds, and even a pool and hot tub!! Quite a few full timers live there. Everything is exquisite. This is my new vacation go to when we come to Corpus Christi. Gorgeous here. The mustang island state park where we started was yuk. I didn’t like it at all.

We are here — at Gulf Waters Beach Front RV Resort.

When we arrived at Gulf Waters Beach Front RV Resort, my oldest son was pulling the trailer with his truck while Leo drove with the boat hooked to the Yukon. I was in the truck with my son. When we arrived, Leo was supposed to trade off with our son and back the trailer into the spot, but he was busy parking the boat in the designated parking spot so the man who works there guided our son as he backed in the trailer. This was our son’s first time ever to back our 28 foot trailer into a space and he got it in perfectly his very first try. We were all quite impressed!

After we got our camp setup, we walked across the private boardwalk to the beach. We practically had the whole beach to ourselves!

The boys were getting hungry so we explored Padre for some grubb. We landed at Moby Dick’s Restaurant, where oh. my. gawd. my oldest son at a ginormous 1 pound hamburger the size of his whole face, plus fries!! He at the whole thing. Mamma didn’t raise no quitter! LOL!

After lunch we went back to the beach down at Port Aransas Beach Mile Marker 48 where we could drive the truck onto the beach. Our youngest son had a blast making sand castles while Leo and our oldest son practiced their net casting skills.

But alas, all things must come to an end. We said farewell to the beach and packed up for our long drive back home to dry land in Fort Worth, Texas. 😦

Sunday morning after breakfast we loaded up the trucks and trailers to head home. We were hoping to arrive home by around 8pm because our son starts his 1st day of High school Senior year on Monday morning. Our son was pulling the Travel Trailer with his truck while we pulled the boat with the Yukon, but a couple of hours into our drive, Our son’s check engine light started flashing, which is very bad. So we pulled over and switched tow vehicles. After that, his check engine light remained on but at least it wasn’t flashing. Thankfully, earlier on our journey we had stopped at Home Depot and bought a 3 ton jack “just in case” before we hit the road, because about an hour after we switched tow vehicles, the boat had a major blow out. We took the next exit along I 37 N and found a safe spot to pull over so we could change the tire. Unfortunately for us, we didn’t have the key to unlock the other spare. 1st spare, that wasn’t locked, is very low on air. Next gas station was 9 miles ahead. Our son tried to drive slowly on the flat spare we had just put on, so we could hopefully make it to the gas station but then that tire blew out. Dammit! I can’t make this stuff up! It was 5:30 on Sunday evening and we were still 4.5 hours away from home.

We unhitched the boat and left it on the side of the road so we could all drive to Lowes a couple miles away. We bought bolt cutters, rust remover spray, and an aircompressor. Thankfully we brought our generator. While the guys were working to fix the boat, I was in the camper cooking dinner with the electric skillet so I could feed those hangry boys. We finally got the tires changed and aired up and was able to get back home. We arrived home safely around 11pm. Good times.

In spite of all the troubles we had, we quickly found resolutions to our problems and were still able to enjoy our stay at the beach. NOTHING can ruin my happy place. 🙂

1st day of Senior Year!! Last year of high school!! ❤❤ My last kid in Public school!

1st day of 6th grade! Last year of elementary school! #homeschool #schoolday

What else could go wrong? We took our boys out on a road trip to the coast for some ocean fishing and so they could try out the trailer.

#adventure #corpus christi #family #fishing #fun #good times #gulf waters #hermit crabs #my happy place #padre island #road trip #RV #rv resort #texas #travel #Travel Trailer #usa #vacation

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harmonizedheroine · 8 years ago

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Winter2017

I. Confused - Jan2

Here I am, sitting at the mesmerizing cliffs of dover pretending that I am making decisions that are worthwhile, writing words that I thought could offer me solace. It is my last year here and I fear that there is no clarity near, like I will always be drowning in the same relentless cycle of malcontent.

It’s almost choking me at this point, the thickness of the grime from that past year inching up towards my cranium, threatening to fill up my brain with its thoughtless dark.

But, at the stroke of midnight all of that passed. The silent orb of brightness escaped the shadows and caressed my face… “You’re so beautiful.” I melt under rays of endless summer that promise me joy, joy and nothing more.

I remember, there was a cloudy shine awaiting me outside, but I shouldn’t have left. What if I missed it. The chance, the opportunity, the perfect one.

But, there’s a whole year. A whole year to figure out how I can near my inevitable bliss because I know one day I can reach it. I can achieve happiness and I am willing to persevere whatever obstacles I must in order to do so.

“This is my year,” they all say each year. But, I mean it. This is the year that I take control of my life because fate is passing. I have to do something because if I don’t, who will?

So, this is me…and these are the ramblings of a mad woman. I can’t wait to spend the next year with you and I hope this post grows as long as….the Nile River.

II. Ability - Jan5

I want to be able to…

reach the moon with only the help of one balloon,

break through the walls with a single push…pop,

make my childhood last as long as infinity

time and record the blissful surrender into calamity

witness the dark and passionate affair with a soul that of Dorian’s

worry even the smallest person passing me by

capture the attention of an untamed lion with a gaze

because god only knows what I’d be without you.

III. Weirdo - Jan7

Dude, so apparently it’s #wastemytime2k17 because I have been scammed, yet again. Honestly, it would have been dope if Joanne the Scammer herself had scammed me, but alas...t’was not. So, basically, Nate is over which is a rough situation for me to be in, having had liked him and spent a lot of time with him for several months. I still have his bracelet. He gave me literally $170 worth of Vans and I can’t return a pair because I wore it BUT I plan on returning the other pair because it just feels wrong.

He literally ripped my heart out. I drove to Megan’s after I made up a very smooth excuse that my mom needed me home. It was 2am. It made sense. I just didn’t wanna cry in front him...So, I just dipped. Like...it was just a boozy night. What the heckaroons, 2017 is MY year. People have to stop trying to ruin my year. But, you see, that only ruined my week. I’ll get over it. No one is worth my year. And, in the coming months, I will forget all about it and him. I just need a little bit of time!

Donald Glover’s Weirdo is one of the best one-hour stand-up’s I’ve ever seen. It is insanely funny and I love Donald Glover because he is an absolute gem. It totally repaired my night. And I found out that I’m the bomb. Like what an L for Nate. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I mean...he doesn’t like Kanye which is like fine whatever I guess I get it. But, then he said he doesn’t like Frank Ocean because he’s too mainstream. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEN. Also, he’s not into Star Wars??? I was shook.

I found out several things from my time with Nathan. If a boy says he doesn’t like the major things that I like....AKA FRANK FREAKING OCEAN (like who doesn’t like him), then that means that something is up. I also learned that I can be like really nice sometimes or...you know what I’m saying? Like I can be really really nice when people are really really nice to me. Reciprocation was a big takeaway word from this lesson. I honestly think that it ended because cuffing szn has officially concluded. Onto living life to the fullest. This is my year. And I can’t wait to makeout with cute college boys at parties again (haha kidding, but at the same time let me LIVE, mom).

IV. Quirky - Jan11

frick

frickity

frack goes the click clack

goon

fiend

shoots patoots

any form of the word baboon

baboon

baboonery

to be continued….

V. Takeaway - Jan12

I figured from a few posts ago that I learned something or, you know, a lesson from each of the boys that I’ve spent time with, whether short or long or recurring like Megan Fox on New Girl...it’s all a struggle. But, let’s take it from the start!

Ben - Cool cat. All I can take away from this is that we were both fetuses and it was the longest relationship that I’ve ever been in (1 year I think??), yet it wasn’t even one lol. But, he’s the bomb and we’re still really good friends. I guess I can take away from this that exes CAN be besties.

Nick - My on-and-off boyfriend. We’re currently off, obviously, and hopefully forever. I learned from this kiddo that I love funny guys, they’re the best. I was really sad to see junior Nick turn into a douchebag compared to the Nick I knew just a few years before. I learned that I don’t deserved to be cheated on and that boys can be boozy. It was just ratchet. And I’m dope. Also, friends with benefits works only in the rarest of occasions and please don’t enter that sort of relationship with you EX. Bad idea, buddy.

Ethan - He spent more time with video games then paying attention to me. Obviously, the lesson here is that that is completely dumb and I’m dope. Except, it also showed that drummers are my kryptonite (reference one of my two biggest high school crushes: Matthew Butler). But, yeah, I love video games and I can totally play and actually enjoy that shit because...they’re dope. But, it was just boozy.

Ted - Okay, this is the first boy to take me out on dates and it was literally so adorable and I loved how much effort he put into things because he liked me. We went to the city and the zoo and you know all of this cute shit. But, it was supposed to be casual. He was perfect and amazing, but it was destined to end. I learned that you can’t make someone like you. The whole time, I thought that he would maybe realize that he would want to actually be with me. FALSE. But, it’s okay. Because I still enjoyed my time with him.

Yash - Yeah, it was fun. But, I hate boys that love drama. I know he kept saying that he hates drama, but I literally told one person about Yash and he flipped shit and it wasn’t cute. Also, after a while, he stopped being all cute and nice. Not cute. I learned that assholes are never fun, to not take people’s shit, and that I deserve like waaay better lol.

Nate - He was absolutely too nice to me and he treated me fantastically. Totally sweet and caring and compassionate and kind. But, that can only amount to so much. That could only come to be so much, though, you know? From my last post about him, I could say that I learned liking a few of my major likes like Frank Ocean are kind of important. I want to talk to someone about everything, even like intellectual stuff. He was absolutely too good to me, but in the end I wasn’t enough. Which is okay because I’m enough for myself. I learned that nice guys definitely don’t finish last, that I’m a great girlfriend, and that I deserved someone who goes to the third floor (future me: I hope you remember what this means lol. I DESERVE SOMEONE WHO GOES TO THE THIRD FREAKING FLOOR, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR.

VI. Enough - Jan14

IM SORRY FOR ALL OF THE RELATIONSHIP POSTS... my love life is boozy and I promise to fill this szn-long post with more fulfilling and relevant life stories and shiz because this relationship drama is getting boring.

my relationships have all ended with one word in mind looming over me for weeks on end afterwards: enough.

i feel like i’m never enough. i get that boys like me, maybe even a lot do/could. but they never like me enough. i just want someone to care about me enough to not cheat and actively tell themselves that they would never cheat because…in all honesty, i think i’m a fairly good person. it’s not like im an awful girlfriend or even an awful person. you know…i get that people can “like” me, but they just don’t like me enough…enough to want to keep me in a real relationship, to try. because i try. i always try and lose myself to trying to make people happy, whether it’s with relationships or even just my friendships. i always exert all of my energy and find none of it reciprocated. and i guess im not really complaining, it just sucks you know?

all starts with nick. im not enough for him to stay loyal (these hoes aint loyal). for ted, i wasn’t enough for him to keep once northwestern started. for yash i wasnt enough for him to not eventually treat me like trash, straight up. for nate, i wasn’t enough to put his faith in, until college and maybe even further.

like i hate getting my hopes up, waiting for something that would never happen, and just trying so hard to care about people who couldn’t even…i dont know. its just…im tired. im so so tired and so discouraged and boys keep treating me like trash and ugh.

it might sound dumb or whatever, but i feel like i deserve more than this at least. because im enough for myself and that’s for sure. so if im not enough for other people, then that’s on them. seriously.

what just tears me apart is the whole nate thing right now. like yeah for sure im talking to danny right now and he’s an absolute dreamboat, but the whole nate situation still manages to upset me, you know? like he’s literally pretending that i don’t exist. it’s like we don’t know eachother. and he doesn’t wanna date me because college. well yeah, but that’s in 7-8 months. Also…I’m not the type of person to cheat or leave someone as soon as I see the first cute person at college. I feel like I would care more than that. rough. yet another case to validate the fact that nothing ever goes.

so here i am now, going back to my fall go-to of “casual” things with people. because i don’t want to cry over a guy again. freaking 2017 is my year. im over it. lmao. sorry i just needed to rant, please don’t read this :/

VI. Scammed - Jan20

There has been an update.

I’ve been informed by Megan and Max, two excellent sources, that I was, in fact, scammed by Nathaniel. So, it turns out that he kind of used me to see if he could get over Corey. Throughout the two-three months, I was actually just part of a social, personal-discovery-esque experiment. A lab rat, of sorts. Which is absolutely bogus, in my humble opinion.

So, right after he broke things off with me, he goes straight to Corey, pours his heart out to her, says he still loves her, and they kiss. Fast forward to him bringing her to the opening night of my show, the school musical which he damn well knew I was in. I didn’t know about the whole “Still In Love With Corey” thing at the time, so I freaked out to Megan and was super down about what I was hypothesizing was them being back together.

So quick for him to jump the boat. Anyways, after that, I heard that Corey told him she doesn’t want to be in a relationship again. Sucks for Nate, truly. And I really have 0% desire to be petty about this and talk about how karma had it coming for him. Because I don’t believe that.

Out of all people, I would understand very well the situation he was in. To like someone, but still be in love with the last one. I think I was just super unlucky to be caught in the crossfire of something happening. It’s kind of like Ross’ girlfriends throughout the show. Everyone knew he would end up with Rachel because he always loved Rachel and those poor girls in between were just unlucky people caught in the crossfire. Yeah, he liked them. But, Rachel was always the one. I’m not Nate’s Rachel and that is absolutely fine with me.

If I think about it, in the long run, it wouldn’t have worked either. He doesn’t know anything about politics and I love talking about politics. He hates Frank Ocean, Chance the Rapper, Kanye, and literally just everyone that I like but listens to heavy metal all the time because it has amazing drums YET he doesn’t like rock and alternative rock because???? He doesn’t go to the third floor. And he’s not planning to go to college and I am. I want someone who can care about me, make me laugh, and who I can talk to about anything. And it just wasn’t there with Nate.

(also, megan and max said it wouldn’t have worked out anyways because he’s a virgo and i’m an aquarius. sounds like bullshit, but i read up on it and it all was so real so i guess that theory checks out)

What I’m really just upset about is that I had to be the pawn in this. I wish I was just left out, that I never had my feelings hurt. You know what? I actually take that back. I wish that he told me the truth when he broke it off. You know? “I really like you, but I think I’m still in love with Corey and I’d hate to hurt you while I’m still confused and going through this,” would have been a lovely approach at breaking it to me. I wish you told me this BEFORE I wasn’t New Years hanging out with you :/ Well, whatever. New year, new me (minus Nate!)

VII. Questioning - Jan22

I just don’t know where I stand in the world right now.

I’m sitting here, on my couch, crying more than I have in a long time because I am so afraid that my parents won’t love me no matter what.

I was born into a faith, a life which was chosen and destined for me. Roman Catholicism would be my religion and that was the final word. As I grew up, with the influence of my environment and the people that I’ve come across throughout my years, I’ve slowly but surely come closer to finding who I am. And, with that, comes doubt. For a really long time now I’ve had so much doubt in my religion and so many questions and...it strikes me. What is the purpose of it all? I understand the reach it has for certain people; I understand the bond and importance of this religion and its impact on so many lives. But, I just don’t know if I believe in it all. I mean, of course, I think I do. But, was I just conditioned to think that way? Is this all the culmination of my whole life being surrounded and pushed into this lifestyle? I’m so lost and have so many questions.

Less than twenty minutes ago, I asked my parents if I could skip church this week to study. I have so much homework because of the musical and I still have a shift pretty soon. Of course, my dad freaks out.

I understand that I have amazing parents who are completely not strict on me at all and I am so thankful for my freedom that’s been allotted to me. But, what struck me was when I almost made my dad cry when I said that I feel no spiritual connection in going to church anymore. “This isn’t how we raised you,” he said, voice painfully cracking. He walked away to get some water. I just didn’t know what to say. Because it was true. It was the full disclosure: I don’t understand why church is important for me to prove my faith. Why is there more importance placed on this one hour of the week then actively trying to spend time with me or get to know me.

I want my parents to know me: know what music I like and how much I love it, know my political views and why and just take time to understand instead of debate against it. I want to have dinner with my parents again because I just have not been home this entire year. I study so hard and I just...I’m missing part of myself to this.

What struck me during my tear-driven talk with my parents was when my dad said something about “non-negotiable” and I was hurt. “Religion is non-negotiable?” I’ve known for years now that I wasn’t planning on attending church in college, but I’ve never said it out loud.

I think that before you further your spiritual connection at things like church and mass, you have to establish your connections here on Earth. Show activism in your connections to people, show you care, and strengthen that before you try and “prove” it in a setting like church. I think that one hour does not define you and that you can be a fantastic person and Christian without it. I think I want to work on being a better person first. Of course, Catholicism helps in matters of after-life...faith of a world after this one. But, how can that work of there’s not importance placed on the life we have now?

There is nothing more that I value than what my parents think of me and I never want to disappoint them-- one could argue that that is my first priority. But, it comes at a price because I find myself sacrificing who I am to serve this false facade, giving them the perfect image of the daughter that they raised the “right way”...

I’m still lost and don’t really know where I stand on this. I don’t know. And I don’t think I have to have all the answers, at least not yet.

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