#i wasnt free of guilt but ultimately i was a traumatized teenager. most of my shit was just me struggling with that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik

#i wasnt free of guilt but ultimately i was a traumatized teenager. most of my shit was just me struggling with that

orcelito · 2 years

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honestly. reading posts from that time period just makes my heart ache

18 is far too young to have to deal with those things

#speculation nation #like no one deserves it of course #but i was struggling even just figuring out who i was. figuring out my place in the world.#& they were just so awful to me. determined to misinterpret everything.#and then After Everything. after i decided Fuck That Actually #they fucking stalked me for Years. bc they were obsessed with me #an inflated idea of who i was as a person & a tendency to lash out at me anytime i didnt live up to that #which was often bc i was only 18 and Also mentally ill & self destructive #also in the sense of Them And Me #oh mutually destructive high school romance that feeds off itself to make something explosive #i wasnt free of guilt but ultimately i was a traumatized teenager. most of my shit was just me struggling with that #idk i know they apologized a few times (after they stalked me for years lol) but i still kinda wanna take potshots at them #like i dont care that ur trying to be better <3 go fuck yourself #i genuinely hope they have to deal with the guilt for the entire rest of their life #negative/#sorry for trauma posting i guess. just kinda processing #the fun thing is there was very definitely a Worst Time that triggered me finally cutting them off. but i barely remember it #from my posts at the time it's as stupid as you'd expect it to be #stupid as in the source of their anger was so fucking trivial #just. ugh.#this is stupid. i should stop digging through old shit.

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