#i wasnt even gonna post this on here but it blew up on the other site and it makes me laugh. so Whatever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lackofbrains · 1 year ago

Text

i dont really know how to work tumblr posts and im not really a good writer but i wanted to write a velvet x reader story since theres hardly any on here

story info:

its kind of angst but like ends with fluff or whatever its called

so basically you’re like a pop artists along with velvet an veneer, and you’re like almost more famous than them and velvet gets really jealous and starts to hate you, but in the end she realizes she doesnt.

—————————————————————————-

y/n's POV

"so y/n your new song is at the top of the charts!" the interviewer fred or whatever his name was said, i honestly couldnt care to remember his name. "yeah. im so greatful for everyone who listens to my songs i wouldn't be here without all of you!" i replied directing the last part towards the audience in front of me. they all cheered in response and i smiled a bit, loving the attention and thankful for the fans. "awww, thats so sweet! so we need to know, is there any new songs in the making?" he asked me really prominently on the need part. "welllllll" i drug out my word trying to thing of a good response. i get really awkward and anxious around huge crowds, kind of a bad thing for a pop star but. "i may be working on a new song, look out for teasers on my instagram." im so excited for the new song to release its definitely gonna be one of my best songs yet "okay we'll make sure to check!" he glanced down at his watch, i guess the interview was finally over thank goodness. "well, y/n. looks like our interview is sadly over, it was great having you thanks so much for coming" he said "no, thank you! this was great-" i stood from the comfy sofa i was on "and thank you all for coming!" as i said that the crowd went crazy, mount rageons screaming all over the place. it was kind of overwhelming so i probably walked faster than i needed to off stage, as i got backstage i blew out a sigh of relief, thankful for the opportunity to spread my music but also thankful it was over.

velvets POV

"ughhhhhhh" i groaned "i cant stand her and her goody two shoes self, shes so annoyinggggg" i complained to my brother, veneer. "shes not annoying velvet, she seems really nice." he replied to me, i abruptly took my feet off the coffee table they were on and turned to him. did he really just say that to me. "why are you defending our competition!" i basically screached at him, "sorry, velvet. i wasnt lying though, you just like to see the bad in people" he sighed, crossing his arms like the sassy twink he is. "i cant stand you sometimes! its like you want us to be second best." i really did not understand why he was defending someone thats trying to take MY crown. i got up off the couch and walked away from him, i mean yeah she may be nice and pretty but shes trying to take whats mine and that cannot happen."

(time skip to some award show thingy that i just made up bc it helps the plot)

y/n's POV

looking around i see so many different singers, some well known, some not as much and probably werent even invited in the first place. as my eyes scan the crowd of celebrities, looking for my friend, f/n, they land on no other than veneer himself, standing with my mortal enemy, velvet. the green haired twins were my competition and i had to beat them. i honestly didnt mind veneer too much, he seemed like a nice guy. velvet on the other hand, i had a totally different opinion on. ever since she basically said my music sucked in an interview of hers, and no i don't just watch all her interviews(yes you do dont lie), i havent liked her, thats an understatement. i cannot STAND velvet.

as i was in my own little word of dislike towards the prettier twin, i didnt notice someone standing right in front of me. i looked up expecting the brown caring eyes of f/n, only to be met with cold blue eyes. i sharply inhaled, to be honest scared out of my mind "y/n!" "what are you doing here?!" the green haired girl shriecked, "i was... invited..?" i replied in a hushed tone, not being able to find my voice. "well you shouldnt of been, your music sucks, and overall you dont deserve any award." she replied, flipping her hair asif i wasnt even there? "okay... well my song on top of the months best pop song chart says otherwise" i said turning around and walking away before she could hear the last part of that, she had really pretty eyes..

"y/n!" i hear from behind me, this time from a more scruffier voice. i turned around recognizing the voice was coming from f/n. "there you are! i was looking for you everywhere." "i saw.. i also saw your run in with the twins. tell me everything!" i groaned at that last bit "no f/n it was scary enough i dont need to repeat it." i replied also turning away from him "attention! all invited pop singers, please make your way to the stage!" 'finally' i thought to myself, ive had to wait an hour and a half through the rock, country andddd rap awards.

im going absolutely insane, why did i have to be seated RIGHT NEXT TO VELVET. its like torture, i could feel her eyes on me for the whole 10 minutes it took to introduce everyone, it was awful, but sort of nice in a way.

(time skip to the actual awards bc im a horrible writer and cannot care enough to try and fill the gap with sappyness)

"andddd the award goes to-" his eyes widened as he read the slip of paper with the award winners name on it "velvet and veneer-" he was interrupted once again only this time not by himself, but by the crowd behind him going crazy "wait!" he said and they all quieted down just enough to hear him, i looked beside me and velvets smile dropped hearing him say that "AND y/n y/ln!" the crowd went even louder this time, i gasped hearing my name "well dont just sit here come get the award..s?" all three of us walked torwards him, i looked to my left towards velvet and she actually smiled at me, and not even a condescending one! we both took the awards, as we walked back to our seats, velvets arm brushed against mine, i got so flustered i had to turn away so she didnt see me blushing. i dont know why i was acting so weird i hated her... right? "congratulations to the winners of this months most amazing pop stars!!" the crowd hadnt stopped yelling yet, i was fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat, picking at my hands, feeling a panic attack coming along, when suddenly i felt a hand on top of my own, locking fingers with me. i was so shocked i didnt even wanna look because i knew the amazingly pink painted nailed hands belonged to.... velvet.

she had held my hand the rest of the show, which in reality was about 10 minutes but felt like hours with her hand in mine, her hands were so soft.

(time skip to like after the show but like not left yet bc thats so unsexy an doesnt fit my amazing plot)

i was standing around the desert table talking to f/n, well it was really him talking about how much i deserved the award and how great my music is. he really knows how to make someone feel special. i looked around for velvet spotting her talking to her brother, i really wanted to speak to her, my "hatred" for her had turned to love in less than 3 hours.

"yeah you were obviously winning the awar-" f/n was cut off mid sentence by the green haired girl that i couldnt get out of my mind "hey y/n can i talk to you?" she asked me, her cold demeanor still up but i felt like there was something under her coldness, i followed her after muttering a quick "sorry" in f/n's direction.

we finally got to a deserted hallway when she finally spoke "are you okay?" she asked, cold demeanor slipping as soon as we were alone "y-yeah why wouldnt i be?" i asked stumbling over my words abit because of the close proximity between us..

velvets POV

her stuttering was kinda cute. "because you seemed like you were gonna pass out, babe" i couldn't catch myself before the pet name slipped out, i guess its out there that i dont reslly hate y/n now. i guess i just didnt like the idea of not being on top, but now that we're both on top its kinda nice. "oh yeah that..." she trailed off, blushing a bit, either from embarrassment or the pet name, probably the latter if we're being honest. "sorry, i just get a bit overwhelmed with thr crowds and loud screaming, which i know is weird since im a pop star- so i basically signed up for this-"y/n" "and they probably saw me too and they think i hate them now- and im gonna lose the award-"y/n" "and im not gonna be able to write music anymore because everyones gonna hate me, and ill have no money- and ill be homeless and-"y/n!" i finally got her attention finally silencing the rambling girl "sorry.." she looked really upset "its okay y/n, you dont need to apologize. you did nothing wrong i promise." i replied tucking a loose strand of hair behind her hair, finally noticing how close we were. "velvet" y/n whispered, as i cupped her cheek "hm?" i hummed leaning in a bit waiting for her to initiate what was about to happen(consent is sexy) "are you sure" she muttered "mhm" and with that she finally closed the gap, her soft lips meeting mine. when we finally seperated we were both panting from the lack of air. "that was..." "great" i finished her sentence. "would you wanna maybe, you know. go out tomorrow?" i asked, still a bit flustered from the kiss. "like a date?" she said teasingly "y-yeah. a date." "of course, what time are you picking me up" she said with a smirk "is 8 good?" "see you at 8 velvs" and with that she gave me one more peck and walked away.

#velvet and veneer #velvet trolls #velvet x reader #trolls

65 notes · View notes

secretcrawlspace · 1 month ago

Text

Since this is also a place for me to ramble about stuff I'm not totally comfortable with putting on my main blog...also more in depth venting

I saw a post here that said something about "getting better by getting worse" and it really rings true for me it seems.

I've had this problem ever since I started puberty that I would be a horny little degenerate but also super purity culture pearl clutching type prude. It def had something to do with how my mother raised me, she dumped all her trauma on me as a young child to the point I became TERRIFIED of men (until highschool but that blew up in my face lol).

It became so bad that it would effect my relationships with people. I was like the CEO of random kinkshaming. I think looking back the only time I was justified was when I found out my ex was still looking up fucked up porn, ranging from problematic fictional stuff to real life illegal materials. Aside from the illegal stuff, I also think I was justified cause he was my romantic partner and someone I was supposed to trust and feel safe with. Though overall that's the tip of my own NSFL iceberg.

After the falling out between me and my ex best friend over a year ago, I decided to go down some rabbit holes and do some soul searching. I know me kinkshaming wasnt the full issue with out friendship, it's just I was a cunt and a traumatized one at that so I'd just lash out randomly so.....yeah.

Anyways, I'd never say this on my main blog, but I kept seeing this thing on Tiktok people were like "OMG DON'T WATCH THIS IT'S FUCKED UP!", so I eventually bit the bullet and took a look for myself.

I watched Alfred's Playhouse for the very first time, probably around this time last year I don't remember exactly. I went down a rabbit hole watching most of the animations and finding out about the creator. I see why people are trying to warn folks not to watch it/research it because yeah it is pretty disturbing and the creator is a whole walking horror/tragedy herself with her alt-right ideals and white supremacist beliefs.

I found a weird sort of comfort within the main 3 Alfred's Playhouse series, and even more so oddly enough with the Alfred Alfer movie. It's a weird mix of enjoying edgy animation, to a dark comfort and also a weird study of the creators mental states.

With that being said, I obviously don't support the creator for who she is now. I will never give her money, I only watch what was re-uploaded by other folks. I'm even avoiding saying her name. Idk what to say about the fact there's even a "fandom" but I usually try not interact. Most of the fans seem to edgy kids going through their own trauma, which is really sad! Also I really don't think kids should be watching or interacting with this but I know that's not gonna stop anyone because I was the same when I was their age. The fans mostly seem to be on the younger side which just makes me really uncomfortable as someone pushing 30...but that's the internet I guess.

I do like the art style a lot, both from the og Alfred animations, up throughout the movie era. Also I could relate to it in a lot of ways, especially still trying to heal from a decade long abusive relationship with my ex bf, especially since I broke up with him a few years ago and have been still peeling back all the layers of damage he did to me.

Finding comfort in this, I finally decided to give vent art a try, especially stuff depicting the traumatic event or how the event felt to me. I use to be super against this, thinking it was a way to only make you feel worse by re-traumatizing yourself, but now I understand everyone has different ways to cope and ofc the one I was avoiding for years is the one that seems to be helping me the most.

I started drawing furry art and made my fursona Bitter-Berry, the deer/wolf hybrid. The art of Alfred's Playhouse really inspired me and that Goretober art prompt list made me more confident in my ability to draw horror/gore stuff.

And ofc now because of all this, it also went into a sexual direction too. I found out I am actually into piss, dub-con, ero-guro, cannibalism and other types of shit. I just realized I don't really like seeing characters from things I like going through all that, unless if it fits (ex: Michael and Trevor from GTA 5), I sort of self-insert myself into those scenes or wanna see those things happen to my fursona.

I'm just saying, being in a 10 year long relationship with someone you abused you in almost all the ways they could on top of being terminally ill themselves and then DYING without you ever getting any form of closure will make you weird and form weird coping habits.

That's why B.B is a cannibalistic slasher who isn't an overpowered character so he can also be fucked up and temporarily killed. He's semi-immortal but still a weak POS. Hence that one pic where he's wearing a shirt that says "Easy to kill. Easy to fuck." cause it's true.

I just feel bad cause I found out I'm also into gross and weird shit and if me from 2 years ago saw how I am now, they'd probably try to beat me with hammers lol.

Also naturally I've always strayed towards darker things, clothes, music, pieces of media/art. A weird interest in crime but also paranormal shit. I found out at 19 I really liked drawing people mutilating themselves and other fucked up things but my ex kinda took that away from me.

I'm still a sensitive bitch but I also contain multitudes. I just needed a place for me to feel comfortable enough to admit all of this lol I have a nsfw twitter/bluesky but eh i don't like talking on there cause post limit and tumblr is just way more cozy for me, despite being broken af.

Anyways uhhhh....yeah that's all I got to say for this post.

#B.B's bullshit #this bad boy is so full of fucked up bullshit #tw abuse #tw sa mention

0 notes

qingxintea · 4 years ago

Text

heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader

heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig

damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages

how oddly specific!

you moment.

TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig

it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable

abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"

and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy

of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all

you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .

i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"

stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."

he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying

"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."

"and how do i know you arent lying?"

you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."

"k"

"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.

sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.

ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.

you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo

its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf

and someone did! not the one you expected though.

"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"

ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .

guys i meant that ironically please

anyway

you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."

he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...

or was that what he wanted to believe?

cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.

he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself

(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)

a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk

then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"

skidoosh

so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes

no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)

you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.

no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.

no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid

albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you

i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you

like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside

"(y/n)."

you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.

"(y/n)?"

you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."

albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then

yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you

yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L

okay time to get serious !

you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.

so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you

"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."

you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently

"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond

"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.

he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.

he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.

"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."

you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."

your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.

"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."

doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.

"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."

"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.

"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."

he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.

yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.

"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.

even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.

and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.

yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.

#albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo #genshin albedo #genshin angst #albedo angst #sucrose #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin headcanons

270 notes · View notes

omegawolverine · 4 years ago

Note

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

75 notes · View notes

frenchphobic · 4 years ago

Text

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken

62 notes · View notes

thoughts-of-the-unheard · 4 years ago

Text

OKAY so ive been wanting to write this post since i started the books a few days ago but i have had absolutely no time so here we finally go

i recently started reading acotar and i finished the first one and im idk maybe 1/3 of the way through the second one and i. Hate. tamlin. okay i never liked him and first of all i thought there was more chemistry between feyre and literally anyone else like they were just having sex i really dont think there was a relationship there because they just thought they were each others only chance but i dont even think hes like a good person i mean yea he made sure her family was well off but that was definitely just to make sure she stayed so there would be that chance that she would fall in love with him and break his curse which by the way super beauty and the beasty anyway he has a damn temper and its not any normal anger issue thing like he could literally tear her apart in seconds if he got angry enough he trashed the manor so much that im surprised anything was ever unbroken and when they were Under the Mountain, not the best name btw, and feyres doing her trials and tamlin, supposedly the love of her life, just fucking sits there i couldnt believe that it was actually tamlin just sitting there and watching her go through everything without reacting at all i didnt even think it was actually tamlin until that one party the night before her last trial when they snuck back to have sex because thats literally all their relationship was and side note, i love rhysand and i always have but well get back to that in a moment because even if tamlin didnt have severe anger issues, control issues, overprotectiveness, or cowardice, i still wouldnt like him because hes boring like hes just not an interesting character Oh and when amarantha was literally beating the life out of feyre, tamlin just sat there. he didnt move. he didnt make a sound. he just sat and watched and then had the audacity to cry over her dead body meanwhile my babe rhysand was kicking and screaming to get to her and healed her after the trials and saved her and luciens lives during the second trial and wanted half the month with her because he cares for her and every single action he takes in the second book so far is because he cares about her okay first of all, he didnt steal her away or force her to go immediately he waited until she called out, until she wanted to leave to go get her and he was there instantaneously to get her out of that situation and i knew he would be she was like get me out of here and i was like rhys is gonna come and whisk her away and he did! he did and he was so sassy about it i love him and oh and back to tamlin being terrible when feyre got back from rhysands the first time and they got in a fight and tamlin bought her an art set even though she hadnt painted for months and rhys knew that but tamlin couldnt be bothered to notice and she upset him and he fucking blew the study apart with her in it and the only thing that prevented her from being showered with all those deadly shards of wood and glass and whatever else was her own new power that he couldnt have known about so if she hadnt instinctively done that, he wouldve hit her and i know it wasnt his hand making the blow but it was his power and thats still him, still his fault and thats abuse so fuck him and when she got back the second time, he literally locked her in the house either not knowing or not caring that shes now terribly claustrophobic and i honestly dont know whats worse because if he didnt know that means he didnt notice that she hadnt touched a paintbrush in months when rhys did, he didnt notice how she couldnt go into certain rooms when rhys did, he didnt notice how she kept having such horrible nightmares she’d throw up for hours when rhys did, and not only did rhys pick up on all of that but he unpromptedly accommodated for all of it he noticed she hadnt wanted to paint and got her a new hobby of reading he noticed she felt trapped in certain closed spaces and his mountaintop castle manor home is completely open her room especially and her room in the valeris house has this big like bay window and shes not waking up at night not knowing where she is and hurling her guts in terror but that one time when she was throwing up he just held her hair and rubbed her back and i love rhysand and the not caring on tamlins part right meant that he did notice all that and chose to ignore it supposedly the love of his life is so damn traumatized that shes half dead from malnutrition and sleep deprivation and he just fucking lets it happen he doesnt even remotely try to help he doesnt even acknowledge it and when she went back to rhys after tamlins explosion and feyre looked all gaunt he was so angry and concerned and when mor got her after her panic attack from being trapped in the house he stayed up all night in some chair by her to make sure she’d be alright and he feigns being unconcerned and uncaring but theres absolutely no way at all that he isnt in love with her

im sure i had something else to say but i cant remember so in short: fuck tamlin and i love rhysand

25 notes · View notes

ganondoodle · 5 years ago

Text

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds)

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning.

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent.

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer.

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained.

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

210 notes · View notes

lovelymaybankk · 5 years ago

Text

everybody talks - jj maybank

song one shot based on the song ‘everybody talks’ by neon trees!

tw - underage drinking, like 1 swear, bad writing

w/c - 1,971

a/n - sorry for not posting recently i haven’t been in the best head space! <3

hey baby, wont you look my way

i can be your new addiction

the first time jj maybank saw y/n, it was on the beach after a long day of surfing. he was with his friends, talking mindlessly about the waves that day or if they were hungry or not. he saw her first, almost dropping the surfboard he held so tight to his side. his friends noticed immediately, watching the boys demeanor change. they joked around with each other, saying he was ‘pussy whipped’ and he hadn’t even met her. jj rolled his eyes, “fine, i’m not pussy whipped. i’ll go meet her to prove it.” though that didn’t prove anything, the group didn’t stop him as he dropped the surf board and walked over.

hey baby what you gotta say?

all your giving me is fiction

“hey, baby.” jj flirted with the girl, who finally looked at him. she rose an eyebrow, looking him up and down. he was in a pair of swim trunks, hair smoothed onto his forehead from the salt water. y/n met the boys eyes again, arms crossing over her top which was poorly covered by a bathing suit.

“what?” y/n leaned back, putting her weight on her back leg. while the boy in front of her was good looking, she had no interest. she took in the way he stood, shoulders back as he seemed to be confident in the way she would flirt back.

“wanna come meet my friends? or my.. friend?” jj motioned to his crotch, making y/n’s face flush as she let out a laugh. she nodded, grabbing her towel before scurrying away from where her family’s items were laid out.

i’m a sorry sucker

and this happens all the time

y/n and jj walked to the group, talking about themselves. it wasn’t a long walk, but once they got there the conversation was cut short. jj introduced the new girl, getting a few smirks from pope and john b. there was a not-so-sly cough from john b, muttering the words pussy whipped and getting a chuckle from pope. jj introduced y/n to everybody, giving brief descriptions of them.

“so, y/n.” kie shook her hand, offering a warm smile. “are you new? to outer banks? or.. are you here for the summer?” she questioned, hand sloshing the red solo cup. jj slung his arm around y/n making her shrug it off quickly.

“i’m new. i live on martin street,” y/n smiled back, not looking at jj as she denied him. “i’ve heard people call it the cut? but i don’t know,” she shrugged, innocently looking at jj. she can tell by the look on his face he wasnt used to being shut down like that.

pope and john b conversed to themselves, watching the sight before them. coughing again, john b muttered the word sucker under his breath.

i found out that everybody talks

everybody talks, everybody talks

“right, yeah thats the cut.” pope interjected, stepping closer to them. “i live right by that street.” he hummed, looking at jj who was giving him a hard stare. putting his arms up innocently, pope left the conversation after he spoke.

“so out here in.. outer banks. we’re split into two.. groups.” jj nodded to himself as he spoke, “the pogues,” he gestured the group of them, “and the kooks.” that word made everybody shiver, making y/n more than confused.

“the pogues are people who have to work for everything. and kooks... have people work for them.” kie taught, eyes shutting as she shook her head. “anyway, if you live on the cut.. you’re as pogue as it comes. kooks live down in figure 8.”

y/n nodded, very interested in the fact that they’re split into two groups. “so i’m guessing kooks just swim in their pools all day, count their money..” she joked quietly, getting chuckles and giggles from kie and jj (i’ll leave it to your imagination who does what). “what do you guys do?”

jj shrugged, opening his arms and showing off the beach. “this. we surf, swim, uhh work, go on john b’s boat,” he winked at john b, who blew a kiss back. “and we throw hard ass parties.” this got whoops from the rest of the group. “speaking of that...” jj trailed off, looking at the girl with puppy-dog eyes.

“you want me to go to one?” y/n’s arms crossed, a grin on her face. jj nodded, making y/n sigh. “when?”

it started with a whisper

and that was when i kissed her

that night, y/n slid on her sneakers and looked at herself. she wore tight jean shorts and a black sweater. her hair was in a low ponytail, barely being held back. she slipped out of her window, leaving it cracked. she was supposed to be getting picked up by the ‘pogues’ to accompany them at her first boneyard party.

as the rickety van rolled up, y/n smiled to herself. jj opened the door for her, leaving room for her to slide in beside him. the drive to the boneyard from her house was short-lived, the group stepping out as fast as they had gotten in. y/n and kie walked together in front of everybody else, talking to themselves and laughing a lot. jj and john b carried the beer and pope held the cups, hopping over driftwood as they walked.

the party started immediately, music blasting as many people arrived. y/n hung around kie and jj for the most part, not knowing anybody else as well and not wanting to meet the ‘tourons’. y/n and kie were sitting beside the roaring fire, both holding red solo cups. the beer inside sloshed around the rim as they barely took sips, enjoying their energy with eachother.

jj watched from a distance, lips puckered together as he stood off to the side. pope pulled him out of his trance, tugging at his arm to show him a touron who had just pulled up to the beach. she looked a lot like y/n, except her shorts were even shorter and she wore a tight crop top. jj grinned, sauntering towards her and starting his flirting.

y/n looked away from kie, towards the boy she had originally met. “does he always do that?” she asked quietly, almost in a whisper. kie nodded, sighing heavily.

“yes. but its fine.. no pogue on pogue macking anyway,” y/n was introduced to this rule minutes ago, making her sigh again.

“yeah, right.” y/n muttered, pulling her attention from the blonde and back to kie. their conversation picked up again, y/n not noticing the blonde had left the touron and was headed toward her and kie. a hand brushed against the back on y/n’s neck, making her shiver. the hand never left her neck, headed to her shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. y/n turned, facing the blonde who wore a small grin.

“hey, baby.” jj whisper to her like he did the first time they met, making y/n smile.

“hi.” y/n turned towards him, taking a sip from the somewhat warm beer she held. it burnt her throat, making her face twist in disgust. kie watched them, excusing herself as she pushed through the crowd to leave them alone. “what happened to the girl?” she referenced the tourist, taking another sip of the beer.

jj shrugged, “she didn’t have that much of a personality.”

“ooh,” y/n grinned, “but i do? and anyway, weren’t you just trying to get into her pants?” she teased, legs crossing.

“wow.” jj held a hand on his chest, acting offended. “is that all you take me for?”

y/n shrugged, ignoring the burning in her chest from the beer. “maybe.” the two started laughing, catching their breath moments later. “how long do these parties last?” she questioned, turning her head to look at the fire.

jj watched her, almost missing the question. “eh. until everybody gets off the beach. why? already bored?” he slung his arm around her shoulder, blissfully unaware of the girls face flushing as they got closer. she was also unaware of his heart doing the same.

y/n shook her head, “maybe. parties aren’t really my thing.”

“wanna ditch?” jj stood quickly as she said that, taking her hand and pulling her up. y/n thought for a moment, before nodding. they both broke into the same, mischievous grin. chugging what was left of their beers, jj led them through the crowd and off of the beach. the wind blew through their hair, messing up y/n’s ponytail. but in the moment, they didn’t care. they ran down the road, starting to laugh as the music got quieter and as they could only hear their heavy breaths and crickets chirping.

the air around jj and y/n was still, tension rising as jj noticed he still held her hand tightly in his as they walked. he didn’t pull away, a small grin on his face as they hiked the streets and soon forest of outer banks. they ended up at the light house, legs aching in pain. all of their body parts felt heavy, dropping on the grass beside eachother.

“shit,” y/n gasped, falling onto her back.

jj smiled, facing her. “what? never done like a 3 mile hike with your favorite person before?”

y/n rose an eyebrow, staring at him with a content look on her face. “favorite person?” she questioned, smiling. jj nodded, shrugging.

“i’m cool like that.”

y/n broke into giggles, one leg crossed under her as the other was propped upright. they were both tipsy from the alcohol (i’m sorry but i just imagine y/n as a lightweight), staying quiet as they took in their surroundings.

“y/n?” jj’s tone was soft, turned away from the girl as he looked at the stars. y/n hummed, eyes closed as she let jj know she heard him. “can i tell you the reason i approached you today? i’m gonna tell you anyway.” y/n chuckled, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“i was kinda staring at you,” jj sighed, shutting his eyes. “i thought you were gorgeous from far away. and well, i wasn’t wrong. you’re also really nice and fit into our group amazing.” he gushed, leaning on his hands behind him.

“i think you’re gorgeous too. or handsome.” y/n mumbled, words slurring a little as the end.

“yeah?” jj opened his eyes, shifting so he was facing her. the action made y/n eyes open, sitting up.

“yeah.” y/n shrugged, smiling innocently at him.

“if you think that...” jj looked away, staring at the grass before looking back.

and then she made my lips hurt

i could hear the chit chat

“can i kiss you?” jj spoke in a breathy tone, moving closer. he pulled y/n a bit closer, keeping a gentle hold on her. y/n waited a moment before nodding. jj smiled, pressing their lips together. her arms wrapped around the back of his neck, pressing them closer to each other. when they pulled away, their lips were bruised and a little puffed up from the force.

a light shone on the two, making y/n groan and cover her eyes. car headlights were directly on them, making them stand quickly and dust themselves off. the door opened, and standing out of the car was john b. “jesus, fuck. you’ve been here a day y/n are you’re already kissing jj?” their was a large group of groans, making jj and y/n laugh. they made their way towards the car, hand in hand as they slipped in with each other.

#jj maybank #jj #maybank #jj maybank x reader #kiara #pope #kiara x pope #john b #john b x sarah #sarah cameron #pogue #everybody talks

218 notes · View notes

mychemicalaromanticism · 4 years ago

Text

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

#cat talks #lore #ok2rb but what a mess this post is

3 notes · View notes

indecisive-v · 4 years ago

Text

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fridaynightfunkin

1 note · View note

madisonrooney · 4 years ago

Note

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit. ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she��d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

#gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

4 notes · View notes

madiiko12 · 5 years ago

Text

new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls. ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )

hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end. if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079

BACKSTORY

haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??

it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.

as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling - - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.

it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.

she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction

but that didnt work

she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends

This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!

she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.

and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!

new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...

PERSONALITY

right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity

part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was.

she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities.

she just kind of is dramatic anymore

like everything about her

her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4

also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3 ....god chungha is magical

so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up.

definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes

when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances

fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!

definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party.

ED TW STARTS!!!!!

....

she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”

so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat

it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...

.....

END ED TW!!!!

idk why this is so long

always up for mischief!

does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals

is not scared of an ouija board

will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE

one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....

she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive

however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.

HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse

Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived

terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.

she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.

anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!

anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.

exes in general.

hookups/fwb

romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift

PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship

love triangles in general just get me going

best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together.

ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme

People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!

party friends

collabs !!

pranks. mischief. gimme

enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow

GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true

#wealthyhq:intro #zoo wee mama #pls love me honeybunnies #tw ed

7 notes · View notes

wangtaeil · 6 years ago

Photo

wow. hello everyone! i cant believe i really get to say this, but i just hit 3,500 followers. w o w. i've been making ateez gifs for exactly 3 months now and in those 3 short months i have gained over 500 followers, bringing me to an amount i am totally undeserving of. i honestly have no idea how this happened but i am so grateful for each and every one of you i didnt know what i should do to celebrate this amazing milestone. i considered opening requests for gifs or moodboards, maybe even start taking requests for the amazing writing skills i've developed recently. that might still happen (and would probably be for mutuals only i'm afraid) but for now i want to just give a shout out to my amazing mutuals who make being here worth it. its gonna get loooong so its under the cut thank you all so much for this, i love you all

here we gooo....

@cryiingemoji if i said everything i want to say to you here, it would take up this entire post. luckily you already know it all because its been 700 years lol. speak to you soon, ily 💚

@sooncheolie i’ve said it a thousand times in the what, 3 years we’ve been friends? but you are one of my closest friends on here, and i’d like to think that if we knew each other in the real world we would be basically best friends. you’re amazing and i’m so glad we stumbled into each other’s lives back when we were just imhobi and jinjackson. you got me into seventeen and taught me all their names, now i just have to get you into ateez... ily 💚

@mauloveskpop miss mau, anyone that is lucky enough to call you a friend is truly blessed. we’ve known each other for years and i’ve loved every damn second of it. you’re amazing and so hard working, a real treasure. i’ve discovered a lot of groups through you and learned how to gif by watching you grow, ily 💚

@1oonar my daughter... you’ve been gone for over a month now but i still think about you every day. i hope you are well and i will be here waiting when you get back, ily 💚

@whiteconfession laura, honestly, i’d be lost without you. you’re an absolute riot to talk to, every time i see your name come up in my dm’s i know i’m about to lol in real life. i’m so proud of you for all your achievements, not that i ever had any doubts. and its not that long until sungyeol returns woo! ily 💚

@visualsan i dont know that i’d be writing all of this right now if it wasnt for you and your sister, i think its all down to you two that the amount of atinys that follow me are following me. i remember being really scared to talk to you at first because i’d admired your blog for a while and i actually freaked out a little when you followed me. i’m so glad we became friends, you’re so wonderful, ily 💚

@smol-joong like i said to bea, i wouldnt be able to write a 3.5k follower post if it hadnt been for you. you told people to follow me and then everything just blew up. you did that for me, i cannot thank you enough. you’re very special to me and i’d take a bullet for you (or take a buffet for you as my sister would say...). ily 💚

@prettyseonghwa wow, where do i start with you miss yasmin? you are an actual angel. i dont know what i did to deserve you but i’m so thankful for you. you’ve been there to talk me through some rough times and you handle everything with such maturity. you’re so thoughtful and caring, even when you’re struggling yourself. i wish i could do for you what you have done for me. ily 💚

@softmingis wonderful miss luna. you were one of the people i was most intimidated by when i first became part of atinyblr. no matter what you say, to me you are a big account and i was scared to approach you. but look at us now! you’re one of my favourite people here and i love talking to you. i’m so happy you came back, ily 💚

@doorootu res, i’m so happy to have met you. your finals are almost over and i’m so proud of you! soon you will be all over my dash again and i cannot wait! ily 💚

@omg-gyu i’ve missed you while you’ve been away taking your exams, i hope everything is going well for you. i was honoured to be the one you asked for advice when getting into ateez, i hope you’ve been enjoying this comeback, ily 💚

@honeyboysan jules, i admire you so much. your love of all things nature is so pure and wholesome and its a joy to see. you’re so thoughtful towards other people’s feelings and weird phobias. allowing myself and your followers to share your nb journey is inspiring, i wish you nothing but happiness, ily 💚

@cherryjoong honestly maggie, you’re some kind of chaotic good, you’re the human embodiment of your ateez crack moodboards, so much fun and i love interacting with you. also you and jules are so EFFIN cute i cannot handle it. ily 💚

@moonctzen you’re so much fun and you’re taeil biased so that automatically means you’re awesome. i know we dont interact that much but i thoroughly enjoy seeing you on my dash. ily 💚

@moonitaeil we dont interact much but your posts on my dash brighten my day. i’m glad we share a love of taeil, ily 💚

@127-mile emilie, you’re a very talented writer and you bring so much joy to so many people with your au’s. i hope you continue to write and grow for many many years, ily 💚

@softforyunho it says it right there in your url, you are the softest. so lovable and seeing you share your love for yunho is heartwarming. ily 💚

@jaehyunay you are hilarious, i love talking to you and seeing all of your lovely wallpapers that you make. keep up the good work! ily 💚

@meinyunho natali you’re so lovely. watching your adventures in gif making has been a pleasure. you’re doing so well and i hope you continue. you’re doing so well, i’m proud of you, ily 💚

@honeyjoongie elli, you’ve been gone for so long but its like you’re still here because of the amazing queue you set up. its so thoughtful and you’ve really made everyone so happy with the posts you’ve tagged them in. you even remembered who my stray kids bias is, you’re so powerful and you dont even realise it. everyone is so excited for you to come back, including me. i hope your exams went well, ily 💚

@missminji miss harleigh. you are another person i was quite intimidated by when i first got into the fandom, but looking back i have no idea why. you’re wonderful and totally deserve to see your bias yuto when you go to see pentagon. ily 💚

@wooyuong inna inna inna... you are the one i was the most intimidated by. literally everyone i know already knew you, even people not in atinyblr knew you and i once posted that i wanted to be friends with you and then immediately deleted the post because i was scared you’d see it. but it turns out you’re not scary, you’re infact very cute and adorable and lovable and i might adopt you. ily 💚

@choisansbitch we dont know each other very well, but maybe that will change one day. you are chaotic, but sometimes we all need a little chaos in our lives. you’re fun, i like it. ily 💚

@dearmingi you are someone i would like to get to know better because i dont think we know each other too well just yet. that being said, i do love seeing you on my dash. lets talk more, ily 💚

@sonqmingi definitely was intimidated by you at first and tbh still am a little and i dont know why. you’re awesome though and i’d love to get to know you more, ily 💚

@soulofatiny an angel in disguise. you are so wonderful and kind and caring and i wish there were more people like you in the world. it would be a much kinder place is there were. ily 💚

@woovoung another little bit of much needed chaos on my dash. we dont really know each other that well, but you’re definitely fun. ily 💚

@multidino sometimes i feel like i can actually hear your posts. you’re always there and always first to interact when i say i’m bored for which i’m always grateful. ily 💚

@jonghostation i was a little intimidated by you at first because even before i followed you you were always all over my dash interacting with everyone. i hope we can become friends, ily 💚

@celestial-yunho the last of the people i was most intimidated by. you have such a big presence within the fandom that i didnt think you’d even notice if i followed you. i’d love to get to know you more! ily 💚

@kqyvnho we’ve been mutuals for 2 whole days but i didnt want to leave you out! i hope we can become friends! ily 💚

so there we go! thank you all so much for everything 💚💚💚

#this is so loooong omg #i'm sorry if i missed anyone

52 notes · View notes

agentbarton12 · 5 years ago

Text

Sticky Business

AN: so, yeah, i was bored and decided to post this so here we are! also, just in case it wasnt clear, this is a slow burn. like, really sloow. strap in, folks, its gonna be a looong ride.

masterlist | series masterlist

CHAPTER TWO

About an hour later, I was saying goodbye to Mr Torres and promising that I’d visit him tomorrow. I walked out and left for my apartment. I expected to see my mom waiting outside the locked door but the voices I heard from next door were a clear indication that she wasn’t done. Instead, I found a tall and well-built boy in basketball shorts and a loose Lakers jersey hanging off his body, revealing his perfectly toned arms. I swear he wears tanks on purpose.

“Where have you been? I have been waiting here for fifteen minutes,” he said when he noticed me. I brushed him off with a wave and proceeded to unlock the door.

I walked in with him on my heels and watched as he rushed to the bathroom. I chuckled at his childish demeanor and poured myself a glass of water. He came back with an angry look on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Where were you?” he asked reaching for my now empty glass and moving around the counter to fill it again.

I shrugged. “I was visiting Mr Torres.”

“Why?”

“Felt like it,” I said shrugging again.

He pushed no further. He looked around the room and sighed. “Where’s your mom?”

I pointed to the wall separating our apartment and Miss Crux’s.

“Miss Crux?” he asked incredulously. “Why?”

I shrugged for what I assumed to be the third time since I stepped foot in the place. “Spider-Man,” I said as if it explained everything. Apparently, it did not.

“Ah, because that makes sense,” he said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the couch and switched on the T.V. “Michelle? I’m talking to you,” he said frustrated.

“You know where to find me,” I called over my shoulder not looking back once. I was too transfixed on the T.V. to notice what was happening. Before I knew, he had dropped his heavy behind onto my lap and was squishing me with his weight.

“Terrance! Terrance, get off!” I screamed hitting his arm. It was no use; those things were like bricks.

“Do you promise to give me your full attention?”

“Terrance, off now!”

“MJ?” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Fine,” I huffed out. “You have my attention.”

“Thank you.”

“Now get off,” I said pushing him off my lap. I crossed my arms in annoyance and blew a strand of my curly hair out of my eyes. I shot daggers at Terrance who was looking over with me a cocky smirk. “What?” I snapped.

“Why’s your mom there?” he asked pointing at the wall behind the T.V.

“Spider-Man asked her to go.”

“How did she run into Spider-Man?”

“She was out on the terrace looking for me when he swung by.”

“Why was she looking for you?”

“I might’ve been on the roof.”

He raised a questioning eyebrow but continued nonetheless. “I thought you were with Mr Torres?” he phrased more like a question than a statement seeing as he didn’t know the details. I could’ve easily lied to him and he’d believe me, but when it came to Terrance, I felt inclined to tell the truth. Sometimes.

“That’s what I told mom after I came down from the roof. I just decided to visit him for an alibi, you know?”

“Wow. Using poor, defenseless men to keep you out of trouble. You are a monster.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I think that is all the honesty I can release for the night, so if you’ll excuse me, I was watching something.”

He raised his arms in defense and walked over to my room. It was silent for a while, just the sound of the voices from the T.V. filling the space, until Terrance broke it with his big mouth. “MJ!”

“What?” I yelled back.

He came out of my room and came around the couch to face me, standing directly in front of the T.V. Again. “You need to stop doing that,” I said gesturing to his body and the T.V. behind him. He ignored me and lifted a pair of shorts that he got from my room. His shorts.

“What did I say about taking my clothes?”

“Don’t,” I admitted.

“So why did you take my shorts?”

I shrugged. Terrance didn’t like that answer. He bent over me, his face inches away from mine. His breath fanning my face. “I’ll steal your sketch book,” he threatened. That sketch book was pretty important to me and I swear if he lays a finger on it I will not hesitate to snap his hand in two.

I kept my face indifferent when I spoke. “You…you smell like…sweat, perspiration and…broken dreams.”

He sighed as he backed away. “Sweat and perspiration are the same thing,” he said with a hint of a smile in his voice. “You’d think that someone going to that school for smart people would know that.

“Oh, I know. I said it thinking your little jock brain wouldn’t catch on. And besides, you sleep in my room, so of course your clothes are going to be in there.”

He flipped me off as he went back to my room, no doubt rummaging through my clothes looking for any other items of ‘stolen clothing’.

Terrance had been living with us since his last year of high school when his mom left for a year long work trip to the Middle East. Seeing as his mom is my dads sister, it made sense for him to live with us until she got back. He slept on the couch I was sitting on until we were able to bring his bed into my room. It was a tight fit, but we made it work anyway.

As the year past, we grew closer; no longer just cousins but siblings. Brother and sister. We kept the bond we had created even when his mom came back, and he went back home. We still had sleepovers and we’d go to the movies together, but ever since his mom found out about my mom and what she did, Aunt Rey wanted nothing to do with us. We never bothered reaching out to her, because we didn’t blame her. My mom was involved in some shady stuff and it made sense that she wanted to steer clear of that. We stayed in our corner and she stayed in hers. The only bridge between the gap being Terrance. He had some knowledge of what had happened, but he wasn’t going to walk away from the relationship we had created.

He came over more and would sleep on the floor in my room. Even though his mother opposed of it, she never said anything because that would require her actually talking to my mom about it. And anything that required talking to my mom, she stayed away from.

It was the second weekend Terrance had spent here since he went back to college. I was glad for his company because, and I will never admit this out loud, I kind of enjoyed having people around me. Select people. People that I liked.

I focused my attention back to the movie that was playing. I wasn’t really enjoying it, but laziness had overridden my distaste and I didn’t change the channel.

My mother walked in not so long after and dropped bags on the kitchen counter. I turned around to see if she had bought food. She had. My mood lifted substantially at the sight of it.

“Michelle?” I heard her call from the kitchen. I murmured in response. “Is Terrence here?” I murmured an affirmative answer. “Cool.”

“Terrance! Mom’s here!”

“Coming!”

Terrance stumbled out of my room not too long after and greeted my mom. He offered to help her prepare dinner, but she shooed him away. He came and plonked himself next to me on the couch. My mom heated up the food in the microwave and brought three glasses of juice and placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch.

When the microwave dinged, my mom brought the food. We sat together and ate, laughing at the movie that was playing. By the time nine rolled around, I went to my room to read after saying goodnight to Terrance and my mom, and I could’ve sworn I felt someone watching me through my window, but I didn’t see anything. I shrugged it off and climbed into bed with my book without bothering to change into my pajamas.

An hour later, Terrance stumbled in looking groggy and gravitated towards the matrass at the foot of my bed.

“Night, T,” I said from my perch.

“Yeah, MJ.”

The sounds of his soft snoring filled the room and I decided to join him in the land of slumber. I switched off the light and pulled the duvet over my head. ~~~~~

Being a loner was harder than it looked.

On the bus ride to school, I sat in the middle row — everyone gravitates to the back to do their…things or the front to avoid the people who are doing their…things — on the chair by the aisle. That way no one will bother asking if they can pass and sit next to me. At least that’s what I was hoping for.

A girl and her oblivious crush asked to occupy the two seats next to me. I’ve been watching them since they were the last people we had to pick up. Riley and Blake, Sophomore’s. When they got on, I did a quick and discrete sweep of the bus to see where all the empty seats were. There were a couple scattered around, but there were none where they could sit together. And I could tell that is exactly what they wanted to do.

I released an inaudible sigh as I realised that the only option for them was to sit together…next to me.

They didn’t seem to want to though. My reputation seems to have spread far and wide. Blake, being the oblivious gentleman, he is, opted to sit next to me. Bad idea.

You see, I had already pegged Riley as one of those groupies. Seeing as Midtown is more of a STEM school, it didn’t really focus on materialistic hierarchies (which is why no one cares about how much money Flash’s family has) but more so on the intelligence level. That doesn’t mean it didn’t have the occasional clique of people who thought the only way to showcase their brains is by making everyone else feel bad.

“She’s got to be kidding,” I heard Riley whisper not-so-discretely to her friend. “She is really wearing pajama pants. Pajama pants, Blake.”

Blake shrugged, glancing over at me ever so slightly. “So? Maybe she’s comfortable.”

“Or, she needs a serious fashion intervention.”

“Not everybody is a denim skirt loving fanatic like you, Riley,” Blake countered sounding a little exasperated.

Riley scoffed at that. “I think she purposely tires not to care, actually caring that she doesn’t care.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Riley.”

“Trust me, Blake. Girls do crazy stuff for attention.”

Blake merely rolled his eyes and stole a quick glance in my direction. I couldn’t tell (yet) if he had some personal struggle in the past when it came to clothing or if he really just wanted Riley to shut up because, duh, I was right there.

I kept my face devoid of emotion and burned my gaze into the chair in front of me. The bus finally pulled up in front of the school and I rushed to get off, not before confronting the Undercover Fashion Police.

I turned to Riley who was starting to get out of her seat. “I’m not looking for attention. You and this whole school just seem to want to give it to me because I don’t want to conform to the social standards of what is deemed ‘normal’ to wear. The same way no one says anything about your obnoxiously miniskirts because you want to wear them, I want to wear my pajama pants. So, you and everyone else can take their unwanted attention and shove it because in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t want it.”

And with that I turned around and got off the bus, leaving a very shocked bunch of students gaping at me.

It didn’t take long for word to travel about the scene I had caused on the bus. Did I care? No. Well, kind of. Did I care that I had caused a scene? No. Did I care that I was now the centre of everyone’s gossip? A little bit, yeah. But my loner reputation didn’t allow me to confront too many people about it. Two annoying girls in the bathroom, okay. A boy in my English class, allowed. A whole cafeteria full of people? No.

The staring didn’t bother me much. While I was eating my stale and sad excuse for pizza, eyes trailed all my movements. It didn’t bother me. I could always shield myself with a book thicker than my head and bury myself in the contents of its pages. And that’s what I did. Despite the thickness of the book, I could still feel a pair of eyes boring into my skull. It was unnerving and the fact that I knew exactly who it was, bothered me even more.

Without so much as a glance up from my book, I turned my head in the direction of the person in question and snapped. “What?” Brown eyes bulged out from their sockets after realizing they had been caught.

~~~~~

Peter was staring. Not Liz-Allan type staring, but creepy-stalker type staring. (Although Ned would argue and say they were the same thing. They weren’t.)

Could you blame him, though? He had just saw one of his school mates in their natural habitat and had to adapt with this knowledge, act nonchalant like he didn’t see them fall off the railing of a roof. Sure, he met a lot of his fellow class mates — sometimes teachers too — when he was out on patrol, but he wasn’t close with any of his class mates (besides Ned) so it was easier to act like it wasn’t him who saved their life. Like it wasn’t him who fetched their cat from a tree, or helped their grandfather cross the street. Because it wasn’t him, it was Spider-Man, and Peter had gotten pretty good at keeping the two separate.

But it was different now. Michelle was different. It was hard for him to act like he didn’t cover for her when her mom was looking for her on the roof the day before. Like he wasn’t worried that she was planning on jumping. Like the sight of her didn’t make him feel nervous about looking cool, because it sure did.

If there was one thing Peter knew about Michelle, it’s that she was a very tough cookie to crack. Really tough. It was hard enough to get her to acknowledge when one of his jokes were funny or when he got something right in AcaDec practices as Peter, but she didn’t know Spider-Man and he sure wasn’t going to ruin her first impression of him by doing something stupid, like staring at her without speaking (oh wait. He did do that. He was doing that right now).

It was worse when he found himself ignoring his usual route home after patrol and swinging in the direction of her apartment, ignoring KAREN’s constant reminder that home was in the other direction. It was even worse when he decided to watch her through her bedroom window. He was pretty sure she didn’t see him, but it was hard to tell. Again, tough cookie.

He didn’t know what time he left but he eventually did. (Keyword being eventually.) He swung back to his apartment and crawled through his window, only with the thought of Michelle sitting in her bed, her curly brown hair free of its hairband.

Telling Ned about it had been the absolute worst part of that day. He wouldn’t stop teasing and offering unhelpful Star Wars quotes as advice. It was in that moment Peter thought that he and Ned should widen their movie viewing spectrum. Ned didn’t like that idea.

But now, in this moment, with Michelle giving him her famous steely glare and pursed lips look, he was unable to form words. He knew exactly what she was talking about. The staring. He was just surprised she didn’t catch on and call him out on it sooner seeing as he’d been doing it the entire day. Then again, the whole school had been too.

“Your words, loser.” Michelle’s monotone voice broke him out of it. He needed to speak. Like now.

“Uh-I-um…”

“Right.”

Peter sighed. She was impossible.

“I like your book,” he blurted out. That was not supposed to happen. He didn’t even know what book it was. Ned and Michelle both seemed to have caught onto this and gave him skeptical looks.

“Dude, you read?” Ned asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I agree with nerdier over there,” Michelle admitted motioning with her book to Ned who was sitting in front of her. “I’ve never seen you with anything that the school didn’t hand out to us, and this,” she held up her book, “was not handed out.”

“Umm…I-uh meant I like how it looks. Yeah, yeah. I meant I like how it looks. Like the cover. It’s cool.” Nice save, Peter. This lie only caused Michelle’s eyebrow to rise higher (if that’s even possible).

“I didn’t know that you found black slaves being tortured and stripped naked purely for the amusement of the white man ‘cool’.”

Dang it. Peter had really just put himself up against a wall. How to get out of this one? “Well, I meant the concept of the cover was c-cool. You know, the-um raw and-and brutal truth of the uh…cover hits home. Like the honesty is super cool.”

That only caused Michelle’s eyebrow to rise even higher (how? Seriously how?). “What home does it hit for you, Parker? Were your ancestors slaves? Taken from the only home they ever knew and forced to raise children that weren’t their own?”

“What? Of course not. I just meant — ”

“ — Dude, shut up.” Thank the heavens for Ned Leeds. He shot Peter a warning look and shook his head. Peter read the signal clearly: Don’t even. Peter saw this look a lot on Ned.

The table was silent as Peter stared at the table and the wall behind Michelle, and the double doors over on his right and well, anywhere besides Michelle’s face.

If he didn’t look at her, it was as good as her not being there, right? Wrong. It was hard not looking at Michelle. It’s not like she wore a sign above her head that read Look at me! (if her scene earlier was any indication) but it was the absence of one that made it impossible for Peter to look away.

His neck hairs were on edge (like they have been since Michelle gave them her attention) and he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still watching him. Why? Maybe it was payback for the staring that he was doing, but it felt…different. Analyzing, even.

He heard her release a sigh. “You never answered my question, loser.”

He looked up and saw her giving him an unreadable expression. He glanced over at Ned, but he was no help at all, seeing as he had been watching the whole exchange with an amused grin. Ned raised his arms in defense signaling that this was Peter’s fight and Peter’s alone.

“I-uh-I did. The book remember?” It came more like a question than a statement, which was not what Peter was aiming for. He was trying to be confident, not to reveal too much about how nervous he was, but nervousness was in his DNA.

Michelle gave him a disbelieving look. “You and everyone here knows that is a lie and — ”

“I don’t think everyone knows that — ” Peter interrupted, gaining enough confidence to defend himself even though his attempts were thwarted by Ned’s comment.

“Dude, everyone does.” Guess who finally decided to join the conversation. Peter gave Ned an incredulous look because this was the second time Ned had sided with Michelle and Peter couldn’t tell if it was because he truly agreed with her or if he was just avoiding getting reprimanded. Peter chose to believe the second one.

Michelle regarded Ned with a nod as if to say to Peter, see? Even he gets it.

“Don’t worry, loser, I don’t blame you. I know you were born with this inability to lie and it shows in your everyday activity,” Michelle admitted shrugging. Peter just stared at her, mouth agape.

When Ned reached over and pushed his bottom lip back up, Peter finally collected his words. “W-wha-what are you talking about? I don’t lie every day.” That was a lie. He had lied on three occasions to excuse himself from being late. Peter hated it that Michelle was right.

“Yes, you do. You wanna know how I know?” She rested her chin in hands as she stared at Peter in a challenging manner, daring him to say yes, her book long forgotten. Peter wasn’t able to form words under the intensity of her gaze, so he numbly nodded, afraid and unsure of what he had gotten himself into. If he knew where it would lead, Peter would had said no.

“You are hiding something, Parker. The constant flaking, the unmistakable injuries, your inconsistent excuses, your — spider.”

Peter’s mouth fell open for what seemed to have been the fourth time since lunch started. His eyes were darting out and when he looked over to Ned, he wore similar expression of shock and bewilderment. How could Michelle possibly know? Sure, she was one of the smartest people at school and did have a reputation for sitting silently and watching and observing the lives of those around her, but Peter never thought he’d be the centre of her observations. He was sure that he and Ned were discrete and always spoke in hushed tones when talking about Spider-Man. They were always extra careful about where and when they brought it up — Peter more so than Ned — making sure there were no ears that might put them at risk.

But Michelle was known for being able to fade into the crowd, so it wouldn’t be so farfetched if she had happened to catch them when they were whispering to themselves.

But Peter couldn’t risk another person finding out about his alter ego — he drew the line when Aunt May stumbled into his room with the suit on — so he did the only thing he knew how to. He lied and denied.

“Wh-what I-I-um…I’m not a-uh-a spi-spider? Why would you-uh…why would you think that? Me? A spider? That makes no — ”

“What are you talking about?”

It never occurred to Peter that Michelle might be joking. Why would she? They weren’t friends (at least that’s what he thought), so it didn’t cross his mind that maybe, just maybe she was messing with him. Hoping to reduce him to a blubbering, stuttering mess. If so, mission accomplished.

“Uh, you-uh called me a spider? When you were making your point?” Peter wasn’t sure why he phrased it like a question. It’s like the fact that Michelle questioned him, he was questioning himself. She had that effect on people. Just one look from her could send you in a spiraling pit of self-doubt.

She cocked an eyebrow. Peter was now convinced that her eyebrow had a life of its own and acted whenever it saw fit. “I never called you a spider. I was making my point and then I noticed a spider and informed you about it.”

“What spider?” Ned asked, as scared and worried ad his friend, seeing as Peter was too dumbfounded to speak.

“That spider,” Michelle said pointing at a small creature moving near the sleeve of Peter’s grey hoodie. Peter and Ned released a breath they had both been holding.

Michelle noticed it and Peter hoped that she’d at least give them a break, but Peter knew better than to hope for the best when it came to Michelle. “But calling you a spider wouldn’t be too far from the truth.”

Peter looked for any signs that would inform him if she knew. He found nothing. Just a nonchalant look and a hint of a smirk on her lips, although that could be from the amusement that came with watching him squirm.

Michelle’s eyebrow quirked even higher. “It’s a metaphor, loser. A direct comparison between — ”

“We know what metaphors are, MJ.” Ned deadpanned. “But why would you compare Peter to a spider?” The nervousness in Ned’s voice was so evident, you could hear it from India.

Michelle rolled her eyes. “Please, Leeds. If I wanted to, I could make an entire list about the similarities between your friend and spiders.”

“Prove it.”

The words left his mouth before he could even begin to comprehend what he had just gotten himself into. His eyes widened and he visibly paled. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Peter wished he could time travel and stop whatever cosmic event happened in the past that caused him to be such an idiot.

“Fine.” Michelle shifted her body to face Peter and he swallowed the lump in his throat deep down to the deepest parts of his stomach. “Both Peter and that spider — a wolf spider, pretty venomous, someone should tell a teacher — are both small for their average age. Seeing as Peter is what, sixteen, and still looks like a fourteen-year-old, says a lot, and wolf spiders aren’t known to live quite long — unless they’re female — and the average size is around about thirty-five millimeters, this one is roughly nine.

“Both Parker and the wolf spider are dangerous yet are not known to cause any harm — don’t try and deny it, Parker, your oversized shirts are fooling everybody but me. I know that you and this spider could both easily take Flash down, but that’s just not how you role.

“That was merely a comparison between you and that spider. Not all spiders in general. If it were to be about all spiders in general, we’d be here way longer, and I don’t feel like spending any more time with you guys today.”

She had left both Peter and Ned speechless (major accomplishment) with nothing more than a few words and the casual eyebrow lift. She had returned to her side of the table and had gone back to ignoring their existence.

Peter and Ned shared a glance, and both just shrugged. Before any of them knew what was happening, she had gotten up and was making her way towards the door.

“Michelle,” Peter said to her retreating form. He considered it a minor victory when he saw her slow down and stop. She turned around fully and looked in his direction. He missed the way her eyes glanced down at the table, because it happened so fast it almost didn’t even happen.

Next thing Peter knew, Michelle was screaming in mock fear.

“Aah! Spider!”

She pointed at Peter’s table and sure enough, the spider was there. Everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing and started panicking and running out of the cafeteria. Amidst all the pandemonium, Peter still managed to find Michelle’s figure and what could be a smile on her face. He watched her weave her way through the melodramatic teenagers and exit in a calm manner. (Peter was sure that they were the only three who had even seen the spider.)

He watched until he was sure she had left.

And yeah, Peter was still staring.

| prev | next |

#spideychelle #peter parker #peter x mj #marvel #spiderman #michelle jones #ned leeds #may parker #oc #hoco #sm: hoco #spiderman: hoco #spiderman: homecoming #post hoco

13 notes · View notes