#i wasn't trying to put him in jail i was trying to save his life. not that he would believe me or care

[bazelgeuce]

I can't sleep :(

Rant in tags it's long

[yellowocaballero]

Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)

Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.

Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.

Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.

But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?

Because he's Spider-Man.

Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.

That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.

That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.

Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.

I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.

Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.

TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter eighteen: "Truth or dare"

Summary: Spencer and his wife go through hell and their final decision is made. It's time to move on from the BAU. But before they leave, there is a little more trauma to deal with.  Word count: 13.670 Warnings: Cursing, spoilers of Criminal Mind (shocking, I know) lots of hate, but totally justified. A/N: So we finally got here. We can't act like we didn't know it wasn't going to happen. I can save Spencer from going to jail, but this awkward moment was a must in this story, mostly because I needed Spencer to have moved on with his life. I hated how the show tried to convinced us they were these basically crossed star lovers. NOPE.  Not in my watch, thank you very much. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

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Spencer’s point of view 

Things I never thought I would say in my life: After being held hostage by a psychopath for the fourth time in my BAU career, me and my wife got serious about getting a new job and leaving the FBI.  

Which was my trigger? That time, she was there with me and held a point gun. And that's an image I will never erase from my mind.

That particular case was strange since the very first day. It all had started six months after the whole Linda Barnes disaster, when surprisingly I got an email that led me and a SWAT team to a storage unit, where we found what we thought was the corpse of an unsub’s victim, but that ended up being agent Owen Quinn, who had quit the FBI a year earlier.

- “So, how did we find him in that storage unit?”- Simmons asked when we reviewed Quinn’s history at the Bureau.

- “I got an email.”- I started explaining to the team what had happened when JJ interrupted me.

- “Spencer, you hate email.”- I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Her comment was absolutely out of place. Who cared if I didn’t like modern formats of communication before? I had changed and didn't have to tell everyone or anyone about it.  

- “I hated it but it’s a must use at work. Also, Raven’s grades and updates from her teacher come by email. Just because I didn’t like something doesn’t mean I will hate it forever. I can evolve.” 

- “I’m… sorry.”- she mumbled as I continued to explain. I didn’t mean to argue with her, I just felt her comment was unnecessary. 

However, she didn’t stop there. After I briefed the team on what had happened and Prentiss instructed us on how to proceed, JJ followed me and confronted me in the hall. 

- “Hey…”- I turned around in the hall and stared at her looking at me in honest concern.- “Tell me not to worry.”

- “About what?”- I asked her, not getting her point. 

- “You got an email?”- her eyes stayed on mine, questioning what I was hiding.

- “I did, I just explained it.” 

- “Ok, maybe I'll buy that. Maybe. But why didn't you just call the rest of us? And why take a SWAT team to a storage unit in the middle of the night?”- she questioned and stared at me, trying to read me in case I was lying. 

- “I don’t understand JJ, what is it?”- I asked her, trying to push her to go to the point, ‘cos I was honestly lost.  

- “You're keeping secrets, ok? And when you keep secrets, I get nervous. Because the last time...

- “I did drugs? Had problems with my mother? Ended up going to Mexico behind everybody’s back to get her alternative medicine?”- I raised an eyebrow as I listed some of the things I had done behind her back. Now, why did she feel I had to tell her I did? I still have no idea. 

- “Yeah. So… Tell me not to worry.”

- “Don't worry. I didn’t keep it a secret. I told Emily and (Y/N). They helped me.”- I rested a hand on her shoulder and she put her hand on mine immediately. I took it as a nice gesture of support, so I continued talking. - “Whoever did this wanted me to find Quinn, and I needed to know why.

- “Do you even know him that well?"

- “No. I mean, I've seen him in the building occasionally, but that just made the whole thing weirder. So, I told Prentiss I needed an exigent circumstances exemption to the sabbatical. She made it happen, and… Now you know everything."- I summarized the whole deal and stared at Jennifer. She raised an eyebrow questioning my story.

- “Everything?”

- “About this case? Yes, everything.”

- “All right.”

JJ smiled at me, and I just nodded and walked away. I thought it was weird she was acting that way, but I guessed after everything that had happened the year before, she was worried anything stressful would push me out of the team, considering I was still taking some time off every trimester to teach classes at the academy. 

The fact she was so worried about me was somehow endearing. JJ had been my best friend for quite some time, and though we weren’t as close as we used to be, I still loved her. She was like a little sister to me. The entire team was my family, and she was a main part of it. 

After a few days, we thought we had solved the whole case. Instead of a serial killer, there had been a cult behind every death. We trapped the leader, a guy called Benjamin Merva who liked being called “Messiah,” and we were sure things were done. 

How very naive of us. 

The team left for drinks at Rossi’s after the case was solved - or so we thought- but my wife and I stayed at the Bureau. We had taken the mission of helping Quinn and his teenage son rebuild their relationship, very seriously. Why? Probably because both of us were scared our work at the BAU would affect our relationship with our kids in the future, but neither of us was ready to face it.

- “Unfortunately, I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it tonight.”- I took a step closer to JJ as we stood alone in the bullpen and she invited me to Rossi's one more time. 

- “Tell me not to worry.”- she whispered and looked at me as if she needed to read me. 

- “Don't. I'm good. I'm really good. There’s just something else I have to focus on.”- I explained as my phone rang and I read (Y/N)’s text from another room. Quinn’s son had arrived.  

- “Ok. Well… It's not family without you there.”

- “I know. But there's another family that could use my help right now.”- I said and placed the phone back into my pocket as JJ stared at me questioningly, so I felt pushed to give her all the details.- “(Y/N) and I are gonna try to smooth things between Quinn and his son, Shane. And then we are gonna have an evening with our babies. They deserve some quality time with us before bedtime.” 

- “You are an amazing father, Spencer.”- I smiled at her and wrapped her in my arms out of the blue. I don't usually give it a lot of thought, but I know I’ve changed a lot in the last couple of years. I stepped from being a germaphobe who avoided touching people to a mostly regular human. Or so I like to think. 

- “What's this for?”- JJ asked, confused as I let her go. 

- “It's for all the times you worried about me. I never said thank you. Thank you.

- “You're welcome.” 

I walked away from her feeling a little closer to my friend, thinking we take for granted so many things, working with the people we love was one of those. I was glad I had her and the rest of the team in my life. 

But things went south quickly. Too quickly to suspect it was a coincidence. When I found Shane, Quinn’s son, (Y/N) wasn’t with him anymore, she had gone to pick up Quinn. We waited for them a couple of minutes, as I told Shane what had happened with his father the entire year he hadn’t seen him. When my phone rang and it was JJ, I barely had time to register what she was saying, ‘cos a gunshot made me jump from my seat, grab my gun, and run out of the room, asking Shane to stay put. 

(Y/N)’s point of view 

I knew my luck was gonna run out eventually. I had been at the BAU for too long not to get hurt on the field again, or get under any dangerous situation. That day, I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time: at the elevator when Agent Meadow, from ViCap, decided it was time to blow her cover, show us she was an accomplice of our unsub, and basically free her "messiah".

Penelope got in that elevator with us as well, she was on her way to Rossi’s and got in the middle of a very scary situation. Meadow shot Quinn and got me and Garcia into a car in the parking area at gunpoint. By the time Spencer was there, they had taken my gun, handcuffed me, and put me and Garcia into a car.

My husband came down the stairs and checked the perimeter. There he found Quinn, bleeding on the floor, and Meadow walked to him, pointing a gun at his head. 

- “Drop your gun, Agent Reid.”

- “It’s been you the whole time.”- my husband replied, not moving as he kept the gun in his hands pointing at her.

- “Yes, it was. Quinn somehow figured it out first. Pity having to shoot him, but he can’t give me what I want. But you can.”

- “And what is that?”- Spencer asked coldly. Penelope looked at me, as we both were kept in that car with a guy pointing a gun at our heads.    

- “You and I are gonna go upstairs and free my messiah.”- Meadow was clearly delusional if she believed Spencer would just do as she demanded. 

- “You are in the heart of the FBI”- my husband replied. - “As soon as the rest of my team figures out it was you, you’ll be dead before you walk out that door.”

- “Then we might need to work quickly.” 

- “I’m not cooperating with you. You might as well shoot me.”

- “I have a better idea.”- and after that bitch shook her head, the driver moved the car so Spencer could see me and Garcia had been taken hostage, and the asshole pointing a gun at our head pulled my hair to force me to stay still.

The second we locked eyes, I could read the fear in his look. He didn’t see it coming, obviously. I felt so stupid for being taken by the unsub. I should have been wiser.  

- “Spencer, just shoot her!! Shoot her!!”- I yelled, but my husband threw his gun away and surrendered in a second. He didn’t even hesitate. I knew he would never put my safety in jeopardy, but I hated helping those wackos get their fake messiah back and get away from the FBI. Which was exactly what happened next.

It didn’t get better when they took us to a warehouse filled with people and packed things, clearly they were moving somewhere else. Meadow walked to us with a briefcase 

- “I wasn’t planning on taking you, but let me thank you for your help.”- she said, staring at me with a delish grin.- “He's given me everything I need.” 

- “Of course he has, he is protecting his family. You do anything to protect those you love.”- I replied with so much anger and hate I expected her to get mad at me. But instead, she just shook her head. 

- “Funny. You say that as if I wouldn't know.” 

- “Do you know? Really? ‘Cos as fast as I know, you are a fucking psychopath, like all the ones you pretended to help us catch for years.”

- “Yes!”- Penelope supported me, her words filled with hate.- “You’ve abducted us, you've tricked the FBI for years, and you worship that Benjamin Merva guy.”

- “I need your handiwork.”- Meadow demanded as she opened the briefcase, showing Gacia a computer.  

- “Let me see Reid.”- my friend replied and didn’t hesitate. 

- “He isn't here.”- I huffed and shook my head while she was still talking.  

- “Come on, bitch, you are dealing with a profiler here. If you are gonna lie, do it better.”

- “Like I lied to the entire FBI for years?”- I wanted to end her, right there. It was so frustrating being handcuffed.  

- “Do you need my help”- Garcia asked.- “Then bring Reid.” 

- “Does it look like you are the one calling the shots, Penelope?”- Meadow questioned and my friend replied without hesitation. 

- “I will die before I help you.”- the guy next to Meadow grabbed his gun, but the fake FBI agent stared at us and walked away. I guess she really needed Garcia’s help, because less than ten minutes later, some random guy who looked like a bodyguard, completely armed, showed up pushing my husband. 

- “Oh my god”- I gasped at the sight of him. He was bruised, he had clearly received a heavy beating. He was thrown to us, and he fell on his knees right next to my chair. 

- “I’m ok, chipmunk. I swear.”- he tried to look at me with a smile, but my eyes watered up at the sight of him and I had to make a major effort not to start crying right away.- “How are you? Have they hurt you?”

- “I’m good, they haven’t… don’t worry about me.”- I tried to reply with a calm voice, but it kept breaking due to emotion, fear, and anger. 

- “Why are they doing this? What do they want?”- Garcia asked as I just bit my lips, staring at my husband, thinking maybe this time we weren’t gonna outsmart the bad guys.

- “Me. They want me.”- Spencer replied but didn’t stop staring at me like it was the last time.  I felt he wanted to engrave every detail of that conversation in his brain as if it were our last time together.

- “What? Why?”- I asked as Spencer moved closer to me.  

- “I’ll be their last victim.˝

- “Why you?”- Garcia asked the right question, I couldn’t even speak. I just looked at Spencer, fear all over my face. 

- “I don’t know. I overheard them. There have been hundredths.”- Meadows walked over and gave Garcia a computer. I tried to move closer to my husband, I needed to touch him, feel him, protect him. But what happened next brought me to the edge.  

- “I gave you what you wanted. Now it's your turn.”- Meadow grabbed her gun and put it against my husband’s head, staring at Garcia- “Or I'll blow his big, beautiful brains out.” 

And without another word, Garcia started working. Meadow kept a close eye on what she was doing, giving detailed instructions of what she Pen had to do. Meanwhile, I just stared at Spencer, trying to burn in my brain every feature, every inch of her skin, his hair, the way his eyes looked under the light. In case anything happened to any of us, I didn’t want to forget anything. My husband, the love of my life, was right there with me, but who knew what could happen to us in only a few minutes.

When Meadow’s cell phone rang and she turned her back to us, we were able to finally speak to each other. 

- “They've got a firewall, so there's no way to warn the team, but they're coming for us. You know they are.”- Garcia started rambling as he typed as if, literally, her life depended on it. - “We're gonna be ok. We have to be ok.”- I turned to her and tried to comfort her with a small smile, but I don’t think I made it, because as soon as she saw me, she continued talking.- “No, munchkin, it’s gonna be ok, right Spencer? We're not gonna die here. This can't be how our story ends.” 

- “Garcia…”- I started, but our friend just ignored me and continued talking.

- “What can we do? They'll trade. We'll make a barter!”- and before we could stop her, she raised her voice, but was luckily ignored- “Take me!”

- “No.”- Spencer’s words sounded bitter like he was already resigned.

- “The team needs you.”- Garcia pointed out with tears in her eyes. 

- “No, they don't. They need you.”- my husband stared at our friend, trying to comfort her.- “And you, chipmunk. You have to…-” 

- “No, we are not doing this.”- I replied and bit my lips so as not to cry.- “You are not saying goodbye.”  

- “Please, you have to listen. If I can’t make it… our babies.”

- “They need us.”- I said before another word could come from my husband’s lips. 

- “You two are the most brilliant minds in the entire BAU. What can we do to get out of here?”- Garcia whispered as Meadows walked to her and pointed at the computer. 

- “You've got one minute.”

- “I hate you.”- I don’t think I had ever heard Penelope say those words before. 

- “I don't care.”

The way that psycho bitch delivered those words confirmed my husband’s thought: he was who they wanted. She actually didn’t care about Garcia, and by the way she treated me, she also didn’t care much if I lived or died. However, Spencer was important to her. He was part of her plan all along. But why? 

- “(Y/N), listen to me.”- Spencer whimpered and nearly started crying, but I could read him from miles away. He was bluffing.

- “What is it, Spencer?”- I replied sweetly, playing along.

- “Please tell our kids…”- Meadow’s cell phone rang again, and as she walked away, my husband moved closer to me and Garcia and whispered. 

- “They're taking me and Theo.”

- “Theo's here?”- Pen asked, shocked

- “We'll distract them. The car we were in is right outside the door. We're 18 minutes away from Quantico. Turn left outside the parking lot, and take a right at the light. You'll recognize the rest. They stayed off the highways.”- I nodded as he kept his eyes on me, giving me directions step by step.

- “Ok, ok, but what about you?”- I asked, not willing to leave him behind. 

- “I'll delay them.”

- “Spencer, I don’t…”

- “(Y/N), get the rest of the team back here, and do not worry about me.”

It was how he had said my name and the stern way he looked at me. He had made up his mind, and there was no way back. If I wanted to do something to keep my husband safe, I needed to bring the team and rescue him. But before I left, I had to tell him something I had been keeping to myself.  

- “I think I’m pregnant.”- Spencer wide opened his eyes and for a moment, time stopped.

- “W… wh… what?”- he mumbled, trying to collect himself. 

- “So you better stay alive, because I am not doing this alone.”  

- “Time's up!”- Meadows walked towards us again and forced Spencer to stand up from the ground. I followed his every movement and stood in front of him. 

- “It's all happening. Ten twenty-three.”- he whispered right before they took him away from me. I couldn’t even touch him one last time. 

Had that been the last time I had seen my husband? I refused to think so. 

- “Get to it. Now”- Meadows commanded Garcia and turned to cut me a nasty look. My hands were still tight, so I couldn’t handle her myself, but I managed to spit her face when she was close enough, earning one nasty slap across my cheek. 

- “Don’t make me kill you before my master wishes.” 

- “Yeah, nobody wants to spoil that party.”- my snarky reply made that crazy psycho raise an eyebrow and then, her fist hit me right on the cheekbone, nearly knocking me out of my chair. 

Spencer’s point of view 

That day my entire world was upside down. I knew I had to keep myself together, that I had to trust the team would see the footage of our abduction and find my sign language hidden message, connect it with The Believers, and find us. I knew they would. But my main concern at that minute was getting my wife out of there. The two of us couldn’t be abducted. Our kids needed their parents, at least one of them, to be safe. And that had to be my wife. I knew she would take good care of our babies if anything happened to me. I also knew I could never continue living if anything would ever happen to her. 

Under any danger, she had to live. Even if that meant I had to die to save her. Especially after her last confession. If she was in fact pregnant, I had to save her and our baby. 

So I created a distraction, with Theo’s help. And (Y/N) and Garcia managed to escape. I knew they were gonna find me, I had given (Y/N) the way to discover our location. It was her and the thought of our babies that kept me sane the entire time. For hours, I held onto every memory I had with them to keep hoping I was coming out of that alive just to hug them tight. 

It hadn't been easy, I have to be honest. Not when I was already tight to a pole, surrounded by the entire cult, who were there to witness my death. I even tried to delay them by making a speech, with the lame excuse of having something to share before my sacrifice. They were actually repeating a “Protect us from all harm. Let the sacrifice behind” mantra as Merva said a prayer. 

Then, suddenly, we all heard a gunshot and the crowd started yelling and ducking. Merva knew what was coming: my team, So, he quickly grabbed a knife and ran to me, putting the blade against my neck in less than five seconds. (Y/N)’s voice was like the rumble of thunder that froze him when she yelled his name, but instead of yielding, Merva tried to fulfill his mission. And then came the gunshot. 

My wife pulled the trigger and ran to me so fast, I don’t think Merva was actually dead yet when she started untying me. 

- “I’m ok, I’m ok.”- I started repeating when I noticed her eyes were watering up as she moved her fingers frantically on the ties. Emily ran to Merva and checked his vitals as the rest of the team along with a SWAT unit cleared the perimeter. 

- “Thank you so much.”- I held (Y/N) against me the second she managed to free my wrist and felt her body shaking as she finally relaxed and all the emotions hit her at once. 

- “Did they hurt you?”- she mumbled against my chest and I just shook my head, knowing she knew I was lying, and tried to calm her down. 

- “I am ok, chipmunk. Thank you for saving my life.”- her arms kept me locked against her, but I couldn’t complain. That was exactly where I wanted to be.  

(Y/N) sobbed and I kissed the top of her head. A few of my own tears fell down my cheeks. For a second, I thought I wouldn’t make it out of there alive, and I finally felt it was the right time. 

- “We should start looking for another job.”- I whispered in her ear as she continued crying and nodded. It was just between us, we didn’t want to talk to Emily yet. But we had to start our plan to leave the BAU. 

Emily gave us a few days off, and we decided to spend them at home with our babies. The first thing on the list was hugging them, snuggling with them, and spending an entire day doing what they loved most. We drew, watched movies, played with dolls, cars, and trains, and had so many tea parties.  

I also stared at my wife as many times as I could. I stared at her as she cooked dinner for us, as she fed Vincent his veggies- though he argued he didn’t need them to grow up healthy. I kept my eyes on her when she read Raven bedtime stories and when she braided her hair. But mostly, I stared at her as she lay asleep beside me on our bed, thanking life for letting me enjoy another day by her side. 

The following morning after our abduction, I drove to the drugstore and picked up a few different pregnancy home tests. (Y/N) stayed at home with the kids and was probably getting mentally ready to deal with the outcome of that test. We always said we wanted a big family, but we had planned our previous babies. If (Y/N) was in fact pregnant, it would be a gigantic surprise. Not that I wouldn’t be happy, it would just be unexpected. 

When I returned home, (Y/N) was sitting on the floor with Raven, playing with her dolls. Vincent was sitting on her lap, fighting the nap he clearly didn’t want to sleep, though his eyes were closing every few seconds. 

- “Daddy!”- Raven stood up and ran to me.- “Mommy is teaching a class for all my Barbies, so they can be doctors, like you!” 

- “That sounds so much fun! Can I take the class?”

- “But you are not a Barbie, daddy.”- I picked Raven in my arms and kissed her cheeks and she started giggling immediately. 

- “Are you gonna do it now?”- I asked as my wife grabbed the paper bag with all the pregnancy tests I got her in the drugstore. 

- “Do you want me to do it now?”- she asked and smirked, probably knowing how anxious I felt. Yet, I tried to play it cool.  

- “No, you don’t have to do it now. Maybe after dinner.”- I pointed at the babies, hinting it was better to do it after they were asleep. My wife just nodded and continued playing with Raven. I took Vinny in my arms and let him sleep on my chest as I laid on the couch in the living room and just enjoyed the moment of peace I had knowing my entire family was safe, there in that room with me. 

But of course, I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of my wife being pregnant again. It seemed like a dream. We hadn’t even planned it, so I don’t know if it was actually possible, (Y/N) was very responsible with her pills. However, if her suspicions were true, I would have been the happiest man alive. The more kids, the better for me. If Raven and Vincent made me feel overjoyed, another kid would be a blessing. 

- “It’s killing you not knowing, is it?”- (Y/N) whispered as she leaned closer to me when Raven ran to her room to pick a few toys to play with. 

- “I don’t know what you are talking about.”- I murmured from behind the book I was holding though my mind was running so fast I wasn’t really reading, and Vincent still softly snored on my chest. 

- “Oh really? Then why haven’t you flipped the page in over fifteen minutes?”- I was busted and I knew it, but I didn’t want to be pushy. 

- “I just don’t want to disturb my son’s nap.”- I replied and raised an eyebrow as I stared at my wife, who had a cocky smile on her lips. 

- “Sure, sure.”- Raven ran back into the room that minute, and (Y/N) murmured before she could listen.- “Maybe I’ll wait until the morning to be really sure.”

- “Oh come on!”- my reaction wasn’t planned or even analyzed, I just lost it for a second, Vinny woke up and (Y/N) burst out laughing. 

- “I don’t wanna torture you, Batsy.” 

- “Don’t torture daddy!”- Raven said nearly shocked.- “We don’t have to be mean to our family.”- (Y/N) bit her lips and just nodded, as I shushed our son, who was still half asleep. 

- “You are right baby, I’m sorry hon. I’m going to the bathroom now. I’ll be back in three minutes.” 

I followed her with my eyes as Vinny fell asleep quickly on me one more time, and Raven kept singing the Baby Shark song underbreath, while she made her dolls dance along. 

Those were the longest four minutes of my life, and when (Y/N) came back, she sat on the couch next to me and sighed. 

- "So?"- I asked and she simply ignored the pink elephant in the room.

- “We are gonna have to get some groceries later today.”- I frowned, not getting why she said that when I was waiting for another information.- “I’m gonna need a lot of saltine crackers, ginger, lemon tea, and some jello.” 

I stared at my wife smiling at me, as I felt my grin grow bigger and bigger and the tears threatened to fall from my eyes. 

- “I love you so much, chipmunk.”- I managed to whisper as she rested her head on my shoulder and caressed Vinny’s head, who was softly snoring one more time against my chest.

- “I love you more, honey.”

(Y/N)’s point of view

The following months were crazy because we had to move to our new house sooner than we had originally planned. I didn’t want to do it too far into my pregnancy because I knew it would be extremely stressful and tiring for all of us. 

The entire family helped, our friends included. It was hard for Spencer to leave our old apartment behind, I could read it on his face. But it was too small for all of us, and our babies deserved more space, a backyard to play in, a neighborhood to ride their bikes on, and the best childhood we could give them. 

Those were some crazy months. We had decided to quit the FBI and then discovered I was pregnant. So we decided to stay for another year and leave when things weren’t as crazy as they were at that point. We didn’t want people to know our plans, so we decided not to share the news with anyone until the date got closer. 

Somehow, after that shitty case when Spencer and I got kidnapped along with Garcia, things were a little calmer. Luke moved in with his girlfriend, Emily started dating Special Agent Andrew Mendoza (and of course, thought she could keep it a secret from us) and Rossi got engaged to Krysstal, with a K. Spencer took a month sabbatical to teach a symposium on medieval violence and criminology, which was great considering how pregnant I got after the first trimester, that third baby wasn’t hiding at all. 

One of the good things that happened that year was that Mikey became a dad. He had married Rachel a year earlier, she was a coworker and the only nice girlfriend that poor guy had ever had. She was so cool we could all just hang out together and enjoy our time.

I knew my best friend felt he was “late” in things in life. He wanted to be a dad and do all the things he always dreamt of doing with his baby girl. The day Olivia was born, Mikey was ecstatic. He ran out of the delivery room and started jumping while his parents, Lu, Frank, Spencer, and myself stood in front of him, ready to hear the news. 

- “She’s perfect!!”- Mikey basically yelled and we all cheered. 

I remember hugging my best friend and hearing him sob against my shoulder. Tears of happiness and fear. Later on, one day I was alone with him and the babies, he told me the most touching and heavy thing I had heard from him since I joined the FBI.  

- “I always hated your job ‘cause it took you away way too often. But I had never understood how important it is what you do until Olivia got here. You make this world safer for her. Thank you, nugget.” 

It made me wanna cry to think I was ready to turn my back to that life. But I couldn’t fight crime forever. I had to do what was best for my family. 

Things started going south a few weeks before Rossi’s wedding. That was when we met Everett Lynch, the unsub that got under Rossi’s skin. Papa Pasta suffered on the field, he was nearly choked when he tried to fight the unsub, and the bastard got away. Poor David got the hit right where it hurts the most: in the ego. In the following weeks, he got obsessed with catching that dude but eventually was forced to let it go. At least for a while. 

Two days before Rossi’s wedding, we were running low on cases. The first day we finished all of our paperwork, but by day two with no work, we decided to kill time with some Poker.

I remember that day we were all in a great mood. We sat around the table in the conference room with some snacks. Garcia showed up with some jelly beans to use as chips for a poker game. Luke kept asking if we got to go home if there was nothing to do, and Lewis was teasing him about anything you could imagine. I was six months pregnant and my current craving was dill pickles popcorn, a mix none of my friends understood, and they all stared at me, disgusted as I ate.

I also remember clearly Spencer had scored 200 on his shooting qualification test that morning, and I didn’t like the way JJ looked at him when Luke told us. But I decided to put it aside ‘cos I was sure it was all in my head. I laughed when Simmons commented he thought Spencer would be the hot seat of the game, and I proudly informed him my husband was banned for life from every casino in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of his card counting ability. 

- “I love how you always sound so proud when you bring that up.”- Emily teased me and I just grinned, caressing my belly. 

- “I am very proud of all of my husband’s skills.”- I replied and noticed how JJ looked down as the rest of the team laughed.

- “Keep it G rated for Christ's sake! I don’t wanna have that kind of image in my head right now.”- Penelope argued and my husband just sipped what was left of his cup, looking away with a silly smile, blushed. 

- “Can we circle back to the casino banning?”- Simmons pointed out and looked at Spencer.- “Is it true?”

- “With a deck of 52 cards, the number of combinations is a factorial of 52. You simply need to calculate your outs and then your implied odds. Math is the basis of all card games.”- Spencer explained proudly and everyone just nodded, not following his mathematical explanation. 

- “All right, ladies and gentlemen. Today's game's five cards. Roll them out. The big blind is 50. The baby is 25.”- Lewis chuffed the deck and Prentiss leaned closer to me looking confused.

- “We are still playing poker, right?”

- “Yes ma’am, but I don’t know if I’ll follow it for much longer considering how sleepy I am.” 

- “You can nap on the couch in my office.”- she offered and I sighed with a smile. 

- “Thank you, Em. I will consider it if my eyes start shouting” 

Forty minutes later, I ran out of popcorn, which led me to start eating the jelly beans I had to bet, and ended up folding. I was too sleepy to think and it was fun watching my husband kicking everybody’s ass. That until the last hand. I remember staring at the scene from my chair thinking it was weird the way JJ pushed all of her jelly beans to the center of the table making eye contact with my husband the entire time. She was being seductive and it made me feel uncomfortable. Or was she just bluffing? Playing along with the poker charade. I couldn’t tell, I didn’t know and I didn’t want to be a paranoid wife. So I didn’t say a word and just stared at her and Spencer interacting. 

- “Do you think the lady's bluffing?”- Luke asked as we all stared at them in silence. 

- “I know the lady's bluffing because she has a tell.”- Spencer explained and looked at JJ with a cocky smile. A cocky and very hot smile, if you ask me. 

- “No, I don't.”- JJ whispered and raised an eyebrow. Spencer simply grabbed all of his remaining jelly beans and pushed them to the middle of the table saying he was going all in and then winked at me. I cut him a short smile, still uncomfortable, but knowing he didn’t even realize it was weird. Probably no one else did, actually. It was me who had always had a weird sensation when it came to JJ. Lu said it was because Spencer had had a crush on her before we met and I was crazy insecure, which was true. But no one could shake from me that there was something weird there. 

- “Oh, I like it. Live by the sword, die by the sword.”- Luke was really enjoying that game- “I call.”

- “All right, let's see 'em.”- Tara commanded and Alvez showed his hand. He had three of a kind, king high.- “Perfectly respectable, but not getting it done.”- Lewis added and we all looked at Spencer. 

- “Pair of kings, pair of sevens.”- he placed the cards in front of him and smiled evilly- “Oh, I'm sorry, three sevens.”

I chuckled at his excited and villainous smile. He looked so sweet. The rest of the team made “ohh” in a chorus and Spencer kept his eyes on JJ, waiting for her response.  

- “A full boat from the sassy Dr. Reid.”- Lewis announced and JJ simply left her cards on the table. She didn’t stop staring at my husband the entire time. I didn’t really like it one bit, but I thought it was the hormones. I didn't want to be a crazy pregnant woman, paranoid and scared to lose her husband. 

- “Oh, a straight flush! That has to hurt!”- Lewis was really enjoying the game.  

- “Gentlemen.”- JJ smiled as she collected all of her jellybeans. Spencer looked defeated for a second, but then a shy smile appeared on his face. I held his hand and he caressed it with his in a second. 

- “I think that Reid is speechless.”- Simmon teased him and he just shook his head. 

- “Guess I'm a better liar than you thought.”- JJ said and stared at Spencer for a few seconds, until he laughed and turned to me. 

- “Do you need a refill of popcorn, chipmunk?” 

- “No, thank you, hon. I’m actually considering a nap on Prentiss’s couch. She offered it earlier and I think I could use a little extra sleep. 

- “Sounds like a nice plan. I could come with you and read a little.”

Sadly, those plans were soon discharged because Emily turned to us after getting a text and said the words I learned to hate the most: 

- “We've got a case.” 

We took the jet to Los Angeles. Rossi included. He was with Krystall going through the last details of their upcoming wedding when we were briefed but made it to the jet on time. 

- “I don’t think you should be going to out-of-town cases anymore, (Y/N).”- Prentiss said as we got ready to take off.- “You are way into your pregnancy to fly.” 

- “I don’t think Rossi should be going on this field trip.”- I replied just to annoy my unit chief.- “Captain Cannelloni is gonna marry in two days. That’s sooner than my delivery date.” 

- “Just for your information, I promised Krystall I would be back on time for the ceremony, so let’s try to catch this guy as fast as possible.”- Rossi sat in front of me and added with a wink- “And it’s Papa Pasta for you.” 

- “Maybe we should consider this your last case out of town”- Spencer sat by my side and offered me a bottle of water. - “Garcia would be glad to have you as a sidekick again.” 

- “She will overfeed me and the kid would be thrilled.”- I replied with a little smile.- “But I’ll miss you too much.” 

- “Oh please stop it.”- Rossi argued right away.- “You’ve been married forever. There is no way you are still this adorable. I can not take it anymore.”

I rested my head on my husband’s shoulder and he caressed my six-month belly carefully. 

- “Don’t encourage them.”- Emily warned him.- “You know they can be worse.”

- “So much worse.”- I added and Rossi just smiled at me. 

Eighteen hours after we had landed, and already had identified the unsub and his M.O. Casey Pinkner was a piece of work, as Garcia categorized. He had spent most of his youth in and out of the system, had problems with alcohol, and had been in jail for eight years. In fact, he had been free for only four weeks and he was already deep in shit.

But that wasn’t the worst part. No. It was the fact Spencer was currently held hostage in a jewelry store by the unsub along with JJ, the judge who sentenced him to jail, and her daughter. 

It was the same shit all over again, and I couldn't deal with it anymore. Was my husband coming home with me that night? Was he going to make it safe? My heart and my stomach were a knot. My hands were shaking, I wasn’t taking it well. You can blame the hormones, I know I did, but honestly, I knew it was exhaustion. I didn’t want to be through that hell one more time. I didn’t want my husband in danger. We couldn't do that job for another day. 

I knew we had set our quitting date after the baby was born, but at that moment, I didn’t know if I could go on like that. My mental health was in danger every time my husband’s safety was in jeopardy.  

- “Rear entrance has been barricaded as well.”- Simmons announced as we stood out of the store. Emily didn’t want me there and begged me to stay at the station, but nothing would stop me from trying to save my husband that night. And I don't think anyone dared try to keep me away.  

- “Eyewitnesses put four or five people inside.”- the police chief added. 

- “What about security cameras?”- I asked, feeling Rossi put a hand on my shoulder, trying to help me stay grounded and calm. 

- “Employee says they're cheap, routed off of some server in China. We're trying to access them now.” 

- “Get Garcia on it.”- David asked Simmons, and he just nodded and walked away. 

- “Rapid response team is gearing up in the back."- the chief of police announced. -"As soon as they find a point of vulnerability, I want to go in strong.” 

- “No. No, that's a bad idea.”- Tara stopped the chief and shook her head. I nearly jumped on him to tell him that was the stupidest thing to do all things considered, but Rossi stopped me with his arm around me, as he said. 

- “Let's build a line of communication, start there.”- David's words sounded like a command, though he would have called his idea a “suggestion” instead.- “We've got two of our best agents in there. We need to trust that they'll keep things under control until we can find a way in.” 

The chief of police agreed and walked away. As soon as it was just me, Rossi, and Tara, I spoke my mind. 

- “The problem with that plan is that Casey is not likely to ask for anything. I mean, what he wants is the people who put him in jail and he has them. We can't negotiate with a guy who doesn't want anything.” 

- “We’ll find a way to get to him, (Y/N).”- Rossi assured me.- “They are gonna be fine.” 

But a few minutes later we realized building a fucking line of communication was impossible. No one picked up the phone inside, proving my point, which made me so angry I nearly started shouting curses at anyone who dared cross my way. Simmons’ announcement was the one thing that kept me sane that second. 

- “I got Garcia. She's seconds away from accessing the security feed. Go ahead, Garcia. We got the laptop.”- it took her a few seconds more, but finally, I had eyes on my husband.

- “This is live.”- Garcia announced.

- “I’m gonna kill that mother fucker.”- I whispered as soon as I saw my husband tied on the floor, JJ was standing, talking with the unsub, probably trying to find a way to get out of there.   

- “Ok. Alright, it looks like Reid and JJ are tied up, and it's the shop manager who was shot. Right? Look. She's still moving.”- Tara pointed out, but sadly, all I could see was Spencer. 

- “Do we have audio?”- Simmons asked. 

- “Yes, it should be on right… now.”- and as she spoke, we heard what was happening inside the store. 

- “Is that a door?”- Simmons noticed.

- “Where?”- I asked, trying to find it on the outside of the store. 

- “Right here. Far left wall.” 

- “Ok agent…”- the unsub asked JJ and she replied coldly. That was the first sound we got from inside the shop.

- “Jareau.” 

- “Agent Jareau. Truth or dare?”

- “Truth.”- Jennifer answered without hesitation. 

- “If I think you're lying or stretching the truth in the slightest, I'll kill him.”- Casey, the unsub, screamed and pointed at my husband with the gun. - “You ever shoot anybody before?”

- “Yes, I have.”- JJ answered right away. 

- “You enjoy it?” 

- “No.”- there was a deep silence after Jennifer answered. Casey walked away from her, and then suddenly, he turned around and shot around, screaming. 

- “Liar!!”- I gasped and held my belly. The shot had hit the chair right next to Spencer. A few inches and he would have been hurt. Maybe even…

- “No, no, no. I'm not lying!”- JJ argued frenetically- “I'm not lying! The people I shot I had no choice, but I did not enjoy it. I didn't!” 

Tara held my hand as we stared at the scene. I couldn’t deal with the image of Spencer just sitting there, defenseless at the will of a killer, while I just stood outside, unable to do anything to help him. 

- “Ok, you asked, and I told the truth, ok. I told you the truth.”- JJ continued talking.- “So now it's my turn. Right? That's how this game's played. We take turns.”- she was buying some time, but I didn’t know if Casey was gonna let her.- “Truth or dare?” 

- “Truth.”- of course he picked that. Psycho.

- “What's it gonna take for all of us to walk out of here alive, for this to end peacefully?” 

- “I ain't going back to prison.”- he simply replied and no one could argue with it.- “My turn. Truth or dare?” 

- “Truth.”- JJ said and kept making eye contact with the unsub, trying to find a way to get to him.  

- “I want you to say something you're afraid to say, that you'd never tell anybody.”- his face was red in anger as he kept pointing his gun at her.- “And you better make it good, 'cause if it's not, it's gonna be the last thing you ever say.”

Casey made a pause and I held my breath. All I could think of at that moment was how stupid I felt for being jealous of JJ. It had been stupid, she was my friend. I shouldn’t think of her that way, she would never do anything to hurt me or my family. Stupid hormones got me all crazy.

- “What's it gonna be?!”- Casey pushed her. 

- “There are only a few people I trust in this world.”- JJ’s answer wasn’t good enough. 

- “Boring!”- the unsub whined and shot the judge in the leg. I nearly jumped on the spot as I stared at the scene. For a second, I thought he was going to hurt my husband. 

- “Next!”- Casey yelled and pointed the gun back at Jennifer. 

- “Um… My…”- JJ started stuttering.- “My baby I lost, I, um… I wanted to name her Maggie.” 

- “Wrong! Come on, you can do better than that!”- the unsub yelled and my husband innocently tried to interfere. 

- “Casey…”

- “Shut up!”- but of course, he wasn’t gonna have it. He walked to JJ and forced her to kneel. 

- “Ok, ok, ok.”- she replete and nodded at him, surrendering. 

- “Last chance. Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partner here. Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me or I kill him.” 

I gasped and held my belly. I felt my whole body shaking at the thought of losing Spencer. 

Not a sound was made for a few seconds. JJ was crying, desperate to find something that would save everybody. But she was running out of time. 

- “Come on!”- Case wasn’t having any of it, his patience was nonexistent. 

- “Spence, um…”- JJ hesitated before she continued talking. My husband turned to her in silence, just listening to what she had to say.- “Um…”

JJ was crying, whatever it was that she was going to say, she wasn’t lying, and it was hurting her to confess it. Whatever it was, I was sure it wasn’t as bad as… 

- “I've always loved you, Spence.”

It felt like a bad joke at first. Of course, she was lying. She had to say whatever she could to get out of there alive. She was forced to say something like that.    

- “And I was just too scared to say it before.”- JJ was crying her eyes out as she clearly confessed the darkest secret she had ever had. 

I didn't even have to analyze the whole situation or use my profiler abilities to know it was real. She was confessing being in love with my husband and Rossi, Tara, Penelope, Simmons and I were listening. I wasn’t making it up. It was real. JJ was in love with my husband. 

My biggest fear was real.

- “And things are just really too complicated to say it now.”- JJ was sobbing and Spencer wasn’t moving. I bet he wasn’t even blinking at that point. His friend was dropping a bomb and he was there, silent, not knowing what to say, or how to react. - “I’m sorry. But you should know.”- JJ whimpered.  

- “Hot damn!”- Casey chuckled.- “That's what I'm talking about! Now those are some last words right there. But not good enough to save your life.” 

My heart stopped the second I heard a gunshot. But that time, it wasn’t Casey’s. It was Spencer. He had freed himself somehow and shot the unsub with his second gun. 

- “We are going in.”- Rossi announced a second later. I wiped off the tears from my face, grabbed my gun, and rushed in along with the team.

- “(Y/N), wait, I don’t think you should…”- Tara put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me, worried.

- “I’m not gonna shoot her, if that’s what you are afraid of.”- I replied and kept moving. I wish I could tell you I was certain of my words, but honestly, I didn’t know what I was going to do. 

I followed the SWAT Unit and Rossi’s lead, holding my gun tight. I heard JJ’s voice announcing we had three people hurt and that we needed an ambulance. I tried to ignore her voice and the reaction it caused in me as I rushed inside and looked at Spencer. His eyes were blurry, and his mind was clearly uneasy. My husband wasn’t well at all. I was sure that confession was messing with his head in more ways than he would ever admit. 

But as soon as he saw me, his eyes watered up and I rushed into his arms. 

- “What are you doing here?”- he asked as I sobbed against his chest.- “Chipmunk, you shouldn’t be on the field. What if…” 

- “I can’t… I couldn’t stay away. I…”- Spencer kissed the top of my head and held me closer.

- “I’m ok. I’m ok. Nothing happened.”- he whispered and caressed my hair. I tried to calm myself down, but things were definitely at a new level of wrong. 

- “We all heard her.”- I whispered and looked into Spencer’s eyes. He seemed shocked by the news, he probably thought I was never going to know what had happened. Maybe his plan was never telling me about it. It sounded like the type of plan Spencer came up with to deal with things he didn't want to burden me with. It could have been the right decision… or not. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever know.  

- “How… why… How are you?”- he asked and looked as worried as if I was the one who hurt the most by that confession. Around us, Rossi checked Casey on the floor, and the rest of the team took care of the hostages and the wounded. I wasn’t being professional at all. All I cared about at that second was my husband's well-being. 

- “I don’t know how to deal with this now."- I confessed and kept him close to me- "You?” 

- “I don’t think it’s relevant.”- he replied bluntly.- “I don’t even know if it’s actually true.” 

- “It is.”- there was no doubt in my words and Spencer knew it. He knew JJ wasn’t lying as well, but he kept trying to protect me. Or to deny the inevitable. 

- “We don’t have to talk about it now, ma cherie. Let’s get out of here, ok?”- that was when I realized Spencer’s hand had been cut.

- “You need a medic.”- I held his hand and stared at the injury. 

- “It’s not serious, just a small cut.”

- “Stop that. You have to get help. Come on.”

I held Spencer’s good hand as we walked out of the room. I refused to look at JJ because I knew myself. I was going to make a scene and that wasn’t the place or the time to face her. 

I could feel her gaze on us, though. I didn’t know if she was aware we had all heard her love confession, but she kept an eye on us, or at least on Spencer as the medics took care of his hand outside the jewelry store. We stopped by the police station afterward to pick up all of our things and finally rushed to the jet. We were all late, Rossi still had to get married the following day at noon. 

No one mentioned JJ’s confession, not when I was around, at least. I knew Rossi wanted to bring it up but didn’t know how or when. He had probably talked to Emily about it already. I don’t know. Maybe I was just being paranoid. All I could think of was that I had been right all along. All those times I felt JJ was staring at Spencer or acting flirty with him, or whatever detail that showed her true feelings hadn’t been paranoid. I had been right. 

Honestly, at that point in my life, I wished I had been wronged because I was forced to face the fact my so-called friend was in love with my husband. She had used the word “love.” Not crushed, not interested, not even hot for him. She was in love. 

And I wanted to kill her.  

- “Chipmunk, I….”- Spencer stood in front of me outside the jet, as the rest of the team boarded.- “I don’t care what she said. I honestly don’t. Even if it was true, I don’t love Jennifer. I am not in love with her. Never was, never will.”- he placed his wounded hand carefully on my belly and the other one cupped my cheek. 

- “I know that…”- I whispered and looked down at my feet because it was a lie. I had always feared my husband’s feelings for JJ. Ever since we were just friends. Why? I don’t know! It was irrational. Just plain fear and insecurities. 

- “The only thing that matters is that I love you.”- Spencer added under his breath, and caressed my belly.  

- “I…”

I wanted to tell him I knew it, but to be honest, I just wasn’t sure. The fear of JJ trying to steal Spencer from me had been real for too long inside my head. Now I just had the confirmation. And though I knew my husband loved me, did he just love me ‘cos JJ wasn’t available? He had a crush on her for so long before we met… and there has always been a fear inside me, an irrational, silly, mind-consuming fear that made me believe JJ’s confession could change everything. 

- “I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, but I don’t feel comfortable around her anymore.”- I whispered and bit my lips ‘cos I really couldn’t handle the emotions I felt at the moment. 

- “Chipmunk…”

- “I feel betrayed and lied to, and now I don’t know how I’m gonna look at her in the face. I don’t wanna be around her anymore. I don’t wanna work at the BAU anymore. And I swear I don’t wanna make it sound like I’m throwing a tantrum.” 

- “You are not, (Y/N). You are not.”- Spencer wrapped his arms around me.- “Let’s go home, please. We don’t have to talk about this anymore. Not now, not today. I just wanna be with our kids at our home.” 

And I wanted to keep myself calm, for Spencer, for our baby, even for the sake of the team. But as soon as I saw JJ heading to the jet, the anger surpassed my logic. 

Jennifer stared at me like a deer in front of a hunter with a firearm pointed straight at her heart. She knew it. I didn’t have to tell her, I could feel all of her guilt and embarrassment. But that wasn’t enough. No. She needed to know how badly she had fucked up.

- “(Y/N), listen…”- she started apologizing as I walked to her, Spencer following close every and each of my movements. 

- “What the fuck is your problem?”- I yelled at her face and pushed her once, forcing her to take a few steps back.- “You just tell my husband you are in love with him and you think I am not going to do anything?!”- I pushed her one more time and kept walking forward as she took a few more steps back. 

- “It’s not like that… I… I was trying to protect us.”- JJ argued, stuttering and looking embarrassed about her feelings, but never denying them. 

- “Oh! Thank you so much!”- I answered with the most sarcastic tone of voice possible.- “I didn’t get the memo when one of your friends confesses their undying love for your husband, you should thank them! Thank you for protecting us!!” 

- “It was the only thing I could come up with….”- she started explaining the unexplainable. 

- “You didn’t come up with anything, Jeniffer!”- I yelled as tears of anger threatened to fall from my eyes.- "If you had made up something you could have said you didn't love your husband anymore! Or is that one true?"

I made a pause and stared at JJ. Her eyes were watered up as she looked down at her shoes.

- "You could have said anything! But you confessed your love for Spencer, and you can't convince me you were lying!"

Spencer stood next to me and placed an arm around me, trying to keep me from jumping and breaking JJ’s face. Which was, in fact, my plan at that minute. It had been years of trying to convince myself I was being paranoid every time JJ stared at Spencer in a way I knew wasn't friendly. The longing, the calls, the text, the weird possessive attitude she had sometimes.

- “(Y/N), please… this is not good for the baby.”- my husband whispered, trying to calm me down. 

- “This is not good for anyone, Spencer!”- I regretted yelling at him, but I was too upset to control myself.- “She could have said anything! Anything else! Any other morbid secret! Bring up her sister’s death, her time in the CIA, shit! Maybe even how bad she felt about helping Hotch pretend Emily’s dead! But she decided to drop this bomb! What do you want me to say? How do you want me to act?”

I was in tears at that point, and the anger wasn’t subsiding. If anything, it was worse because having JJ there in front of me, crying as well, made me realize I was never going to forgive her. Our friendship was ruined after that day, and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. 

- “I swear, (Y/N), I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I didn’t know you were listening.”- she sobbed and covered her face with both hands. 

- “We all heard you, JJ! And you know what makes it worse? That I knew it! Deep inside, I knew this shit was real! You showed your true feelings for my husband so many times during the last couple of years, I had to constantly tell myself this shit was just in my head! But it wasn’t! You just confirmed it!”

My yells alerted the team, and soon Rossi and Emily were there to calm the situation.

- “(Y/N), you have to understand, I would never do…”- I cut JJ’s speech as she continued sobbing. I made an effort to put myself together as I stood in front of her and looked her in the eyes in anger.  

- “You would never do what? Try to steal my husband? Because that’s exactly what you just did!”

- “I would never do anything like that!”- JJ yelled in tears, looking incredibly offended by my words. Good. It’s what I was going for.

- “I don’t believe you, Jennifer. You lost my trust and won it back once. But not this time. Our friendship is over. If it depended on me, I would never have to see you again. Not me, not my family. And before you start whining that I’m trying to hurt you, no. I am not trying to hurt you, ‘cos if I wanted to do something like that, I would be on the phone with your poor husband right now, telling him the kind of wife he has. ”

JJ widened her eyes at my words, shocked and frozen in fear.

- “You wouldn't dare”- she whispered, scared.

- “Didn’t you just lose enough in a truth or dare game, Jennifer? Don’t push me.”- my voice was filled with more than anger and deception. There was hate in it. I loathed the woman in front of me, pretending she cared for the mess she had created. 

- “(Y/N), JJ, please. Stop.”- Emily commanded.- “We are all grown-ups here, we need to put this aside. We have to go back home, we have a wedding tomorrow. We are a team.” 

- “Are we still, Em? Really?”- I turned to my unit chief and whipped off my tears. Spencer held me and led me to the jet. Rossi followed us closely, in silence. I had to bite my lower lip to stop crying. I didn’t want to shed another tear for JJ ever again.  

- “Come on, chipmunk. Let’s go home.”- Spencer whispered and held me closer.  

It was the longest five-hour trip of my life. I couldn’t sleep. Neither could Spencer. He wrapped his arm around me the entire time and just held me close. JJ sat on the other side of the plane, on her own. I tried not to look at her ‘cos I didn’t trust myself after what had happened earlier. Only one thing could happen if I did: I was gonna break her face. 

And I was scared. Terrified to even think of what that confession was doing to Spencer. He said it didn’t mean anything to him, but I knew it was obviously killing him, the same way it was killing me. 

Spencer’s point of view 

JJ’s confession couldn’t have come at a worse time. Right after (Y/N)’s second trimester. Every time she has been pregnant, all of her self-doubt comes up after the fifth month. The bigger her belly gets, the more afraid she is. I can understand it, but I will never fully make sense of it. Many studies confirmed that pregnancy hormones can make women feel a mix of highs and lows, which can make them feel more vulnerable or anxious. It was clear that was my wife’s case. I couldn’t tell her that, though. I had commented on the subject back when she was pregnant with Raven, and it made her cry for so long that I regretted it immediately.

But now, things were serious. This was a whole new level of insecurity, and I didn’t want her to think I was even considering leaving her to be with JJ. I would never. 

That night on the plane, while we both pretended to sleep for the sake of the team, I held her close to me and kept her wrapped in my arms and away from JJ, just in case. I remembered a few years before in that very same jet, (Y/N) had faced Seaver after her first case. Each time she stood for what she thought was right, she did it regardless of the consequences of her actions. And consequences were all I could think of. 

For starters, how were we going to deal with Rossi’s wedding? We were invited, we couldn’t miss it. How were we going to stand there next to the rest of the team and celebrate?  

And most importantly, how were we going to deal with the following months? We had agreed to quit after (Y/N)’s maternity leave ended. But I knew JJ was going to get on her nerves, she wasn’t going to live at peace knowing how she felt, and most of all, knowing I had to work with her for twelve more weeks after the baby was born. 

My wife wasn’t going to agree to that. Not in a thousand years. 

We drove in silence all the way from Quantico to our house. I didn't know what to say that might give her peace of mind. Her mom, Sofia, was babysitting the kids that night at our place, so when we got there around three in the morning, everybody was asleep. 

We went straight to bed, I got under the covers and waited for her to get there. As soon as she reached my side, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. 

- “Hey… can you share what’s happening inside your head?”- I whispered and kissed her temple. (Y/N) sighed and met my eyes with concern. 

- “I’m scared.”- her confession was nearly imperceptible, but I heard her underneath the covers.  

- “I told you, what JJ said doesn’t mean anything to me. I love you.”- I explained, trying to be as sweet and understanding as possible.  

- “But… now that you know how she feels…”- she mumbled, fighting the tears.

- “It doesn't change anything, chipmunk. She is my friend, you are the love of my life.” 

- “I don’t want you to regret being with me.”- I had to make a pause before answering those words because it hurt me to think what was happening in her head. 

- “Why would you say something like that?”- it was painful to even consider her thinking I could regret my life with her. My wife moved close to me on our bed and I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs and kept kissing her forehead every once in a while. 

- “I just think… maybe you would have picked her instead of me if you knew how she felt about you.” 

- “Never.”  I didn't hesitate to answer ‘cos I needed her to understand how sure I felt about her. - “I don’t think you understand how much I love you. I’ve loved you since day one. Since the first time I saw you, interviewing for the position with Hotch.” 

- “You were still crushed on JJ when we met.”- she argued and I shook my head. 

- “You don’t understand, chipmunk. I fell for you the first time I talked to you, and since then, you have become the only one for me. You have been the one woman I want to be with ever since we first met. You asked me how old I was and I was so shocked by your presence, Elle had to answer for me.” 

My wife scoffed at my answer, and I reached her lips with mine, trying to soothe her fears with sweet kisses. 

- “Ask anyone…”- I murmured.- “Everybody knows I was a goner after day one.” 

- “Your… mom showed me all the letters you sent her since November 7th, 2005.”- she confessed, embarrassed to tell me their secret.- “Don’t get mad at her. She just… before we got married, she wanted me to know and understand how long you’ve loved me. So she let me read them.” 

- “I’m not mad. I’m glad you did. Can you see how long I’ve loved you?”- I asked her and kissed her lips one more time. 

- “But did you love me ‘cos she wasn’t available? Or…”

- “Chipmunk, I love you ‘cos you are the only one for me. Whatever I thought I felt for JJ back then, was never more than a simple infatuation. The second I met you and started knowing you, you became the only woman for me. You have no competition, nowhere in time or space.” 

My wife hugged and sobbed softly as I held her and ran my fingers through her hair. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until her breathing was calmer and she had stopped crying.  

- “I’m sorry, Spencer.”- she murmured - “I don’t wanna be crazy jealous or anything…” 

- “It’s ok. This is the kind of thing we have to talk about tonight. I know what Jennifer said was out of place, but I don’t want to make it our entire life from now on. I need to close that chapter.” 

- “I need to get out of the BAU.”- my wife replied and sighed.- “Should we set a date for our departure?”

- “If that makes you feel better, I’m in. Let’s set a date.”

- “I don’t think anything will give me any peace of mind right now.” 

- “Twelve weeks after our baby is born, we leave.”- I told her and she sighed one more time. 

- “Twelve weeks. Ok. I can do that.”- she paused and after a few seconds, she simply asked.- “When do we tell Prentiss?” 

- “Let’s give her a month's notice.”- I settled and kissed the top of her head one more time.- “And now, get some sleep, ok? It was a shitty day and you need to rest. The baby needs to rest.” 

- “Thank you, honey. For always taking care of me.”- her words were muffled ‘cos she was hiding on my chest and I just caressed her hair and back slowly, trying to give her all the comfort she needed.  

- “I love you, (Y/N). I am yours, my heart, my soul. Everything I am, it’s yours.”- I murmured and kissed the top of her head one more time.- “Never doubt that.” 

(Y/N)’s point of view 

Rossi’s wedding wasn’t a day at the beach, that I can assure you. Frank took care of the kids that day, so me and Spencer could have some time alone. With Mikey dealing with parenthood and Lu pregnant for the first time, we couldn’t really bother them much. Frank was the best godfather. He was always available to play and take care of our babies. He and Tarah didn’t have kids but still loved Raven and Vinny very much. And they love spending time together. 

I distinctly remember being in our room staring at my reflection in the mirror after I was done getting ready for David’s wedding, thinking I looked like a whale. Spencer walked over with Vincent and stared at me with pure love in his eyes. 

- “Doesn't mommy look gorgeous?”- he asked our baby son and he nodded. I couldn’t blame my husband for trying to make me feel pretty. He knew exactly what was going through my mind that second. 

- “Mommy is pretty”- Vinny replied as I turned to him and kissed his chubby cheeks.

- “You are more pretty! Are you ready to spend time with Uncle Frank and Auntie Tarah?” 

- “Yes! Uncle Funny said he was taking us to the aquarium today!”- Vinny replied, absolutely static with the plan, and Raven showed up holding her backpack. 

- “I’m ready! Let’s go!”- she commanded and grabbed my hand.- “Uncle Frank said if we got there early, we could have a picnic afterward! Come on!”- and just like that, Raven started crawling us downstairs. 

Being with the kids that morning cheered me up and took me back to reality. What really matters and who we were doing everything for: our family. 

- “Ok Nugget”- Frank stood next to our car as Spencer helped Tara with Vinny and Raven kept telling her about her week at school.- “Enjoy the party, don’t drink too much.-”- he joked touching my prominent belly and I just chuckled.

- “Sure thing, Paco. I’ll be the designated driver, so don’t worry.”- I replied and I know the smile didn’t reach my eyes ‘cos he noticed. Frank always noticed those things. 

- “Oh oh, what happened?” 

- “Don’t wanna talk about it now. I gotta look happy for Rossi”

- “Problems with Spencer? Do I have to hurt him?”- I stared at Frank, not moving a facial muscle until he chuckled.- “Fine, so Mr. FBI SSA can break my arm now, but he couldn’t do that when I first met him.”   

- “He is not the problem. He has been amazing” 

- “Then what?”- Frank crossed his arms on his chest as he stared at me, waiting for an answer. And I knew he wasn't going to stop asking until he got one.

- “Mom! Uncle Frank has to go!”- Raven appeared and held his hand, pushing him away from me.- “You can talk with your friend later!”

- “I’ll bring some wine when I drop the kids tonight.-” he decided and started walking with my daughter.

- “I can’t drink, Paco!”- I replied and he smiled evilly. 

- “It’s not for you, Nugget! I'll drink and you'll tell me the whole story.” 

- “So, how are we doing this?”- I asked Spencer as we walked into the venue. Rossi’s wedding was at a beautiful and cozy hotel, and it was only with close friends and family. Not a lot of places to hide. 

- “We have fun with the team, you try not to kill JJ. We go home early and never tell Frank, so we can have some time alone.” 

- “Loving the last part of that plan.”- I felt Spencer’s hand in mine as we took a look around. Matt and his wife were with JJ and Will, so we both moved the opposite way. Garcia and Tara were at the bar, so that's where we headed right away. 

- “Ok, I have just made this up. I call it the Rossi.”- Penelope announced and put a glass on the bar. I turned around as Pen continued talking about her drink, feeling someone’s eyes on me, and JJ quickly turned and looked away as I caught her staring at my husband. Spencer rested his hand on the small of my back and guided my focus back to Garcia. 

- “Will it get me drunk?”- Tara’s question made me chuckle right away.  

- “Totally.”- Garcia replied without hesitations. 

- “Then I will take a double.”- Lewis demanded and turned to her, surprised. 

- “Trying to get drunk before lunch? Bold move.”

- “Someone very wise once said: make every second count. And when there’s an open bar, trust me (Y/N), I always make every second last.”- her answer made me smile wider. 

- “Do you have any mocktails here, Pen?”- I asked and looked at my friend mixing nonalcoholic drinks behind the counter.

- “I have the perfect mix just for you, filled with vitamins for that baby Reid you are growing. Which reminds me, Reid”- she looked at my husband and raised an eyebrow. “ I came to this wedding by myself, but I will not be dancing by myself. Do you understand me, Dr. Reid?” 

- “Yes.”- Spencer replied solemnly and I sipped my glass. I looked at JJ and she was looking over from a distance, again. That was gonna be a long day to deal sober. 

The ceremony was perfect, just what Rossi and Krystal had imagined. But I was awkward the whole time, and I knew Spencer felt the same. He kept his arm or hand on me the entire time. It didn’t get better when it was time for speeches and Emily started talking. 

- “When Dave got engaged, he pulled out all the stops. Some of you might not know this, but he proposed to Krystall in our elevator at the FBI, which was perfect. If she said no, he could just go back to work and she had a built-in escape. But she said yes, and here we are.”

The entire room was listening closely to every word my friend said. Spencer, sitting next to me, held my hand upon the table. 

- “Penelope says that this was fate, that their marriage was in the stars. Dave and Krystall are twin flames, two souls that are always meant to be together. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes a parallel universe or something, but the thing about twin flames is that nothing can keep them apart.”

Spencer moved my hand closer to him and kissed it sweetly. 

- “I would love you in every universe.”- he whispered and I knew I blushed because I felt my cheeks burning. My heart skipped a beat at those words ‘cos I knew he meant them and for once I didn’t care if JJ saw us. Spencer loved me as much as I loved him. 

- “They are a magic unto themselves. And together, they light the way for all of us. To David and Krystall.”- Emily finished her speech and we all raised our glasses. 

The plan was to stay a little longer after lunch and then go home, but Penelope, Matt, and Luke were doing such a great job keeping everybody dancing, we were having a great time. And we deserved that. To enjoy our time with our friends. It felt special considering we now had a date to leave. No more thinking about it. It was a fact. 

Spencer was getting me water and I was resting for a while when I saw JJ approaching him. My stomach dropped when I saw her skinny figure in a tight red dress standing next to my husband. He was gorgeous in that tux. She said a few words, Spencer shook his head, grabbed two bottles of water, smiled and walked away. I stared at the entire scene from my seat, and JJ looked at Spencer walking across the room back to me. 

- “What was that?”

- “She was thanking me for saving her life.”- he replied and sat by my side.

- “And?”

- “And then she started rambling about when I got the ankle holster and how she just said what she said to get that guy’s attention.”- my husband held my hand as he spoke, and stared at my eyes, trying to reassure me he was telling the truth.  

- “Sure…”

- “I told her I didn’t care. That whatever happened, it was in the past. That nothing was gonna change ‘cos things were the way they were supposed to be. And then I left.”

I didn’t reply, I just nodded and stared at him as she finished his explanation. I didn’t want to be the kind of wife who keeps demanding her husband to tell her everything he talked about with other women, but JJ was, and probably will ever be, a sensitive subject between us.  

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered and he nodded, kissing my hand.

- “Are you ok?”- he asked me and I smiled at him, nodding as well.- “Good, ‘cos now we are going home to enjoy the house alone for a while.”

- "That actually sounds like a date."- I replied as he kept holding my hand.

- "Then how about a nice bath for the two of us and some hot chocolate?"

- "Let's get the car."   

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[kittykattropicanna]

it's 2 am and i should sleep but i just read your prison penpal!ghost now it's rotting my brain!!!! ><

reader would so try to send him gifts if they're allowed. special holidays aren't miserable for him anymore as he would be accompanied by reader's sweet little presents!!!

Sleeps for the weak baby, sleep when you’re dead ;)

Of course you're going to look after your man, he does so much for you, the least you can do is send him some money to treat himself!!! maybe a gift or two you dirty girl :3

I know I promised to upload this last night after work but I was sleepy. IM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME

TW: edging, Si fucks himself with your dirty panties, smut, masterbation (Reader and Simon) its just fucking disgusting and dirty, but also kinda sweet <3

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Absolutely, holy shit. After your first phone call, you’re his, he makes that so unbelievably clear through his next letters. :)))

Telling you how much he craves you, how you’re the only thing on his mind, describing in intimate detail how his gonna touch you, kiss you, fuck you :((((

His so fucking desperate for you, to the point he actually gets enraged knowing he can’t touch you. Just the thought of you being on the other side of the wall makes his skin crawl, you’re right there, only thick cement dividing him from you :(( 

Its even worse knowing that he can’t do anything about it >:(

Si’s a problem solver, he prides himself on being able to weasel his way out of practically any situation without a problem, if that’s  reducing his sentence down to basically nothing or getting away with his little late night phone calls with you. He always finds a way to make it work, but for the first time ever, he can’t fix this, his stuck here. No exceptions, no sweet talking to get what he wants, no amount of calculated manipulation could get him out of this situation, and it makes him go absolutely mad. 

At this point he has a year left of his sentence, his so fucking close to being let back into society, so close to finally being with you :(((

Letting his emotions (and dick) cloud his judgment, driving him to think about making stupid decisions such as an attempted jail break would be absolutely the worst idea of his entire life.

Ohhhhh, but its so tempting :(

But it would just put more time between you and him, as much as he wanted you now, he knew it was only going to rip him away from you again in the long run :/

And that’s if his even successful, one night with you would mean the world to him, but it wasn't worth being thrown back in jail, only separating the two of you for longer :(

He just needed to sit tight, let the days roll on and try not to think about your soft moans through the shitty speaker of the prison phone. :(((

He absolutely asked you to be official after speaking to you for the first time. It drives him crazy knowing when guys try and hit on you at the bar, you smile brightly and tell them that you're his, his to keep. 

One of the guards asked him what’s the first thing his going to do when he gets out, with a dopey smile he chuckles a little

“See ma’ missus mate” his so fucking cute, his actually so obsessed with you, so proud that you’re his ;))))

Of course the other inmates wouldn’t know, and technically he most definitely shouldn’t of told a guard, news spreads, but he couldn’t help it, it slipped out, and you know what, he was fucking proud of it :)))

You 100% would send him money and gifts, Si makes a little money, about £35 a week either cleaning, laundry duties, basic maintenance, basically anything the job program can offer him. 

The only issue being when he first signed up, he made sure that all his money was payed into Price’s bank account. He didn’t want to risk using it, the whole reason he started the work program was because he wanted to try and set himself up once he got out, at least have some type of savings waiting for him on the other side. Every now and then he regrets it, but he knows its for the best :/

Learning that Si was so strict with his money that he didn’t treat himself to anything didn’t sit well with you….and its not like you’re struggling financially, you work a good job and your daddy is always willing to send money if you ever needed it!!!!

A hundred odd pounds a month isn’t going to leave any sort of dint in your bank account, so of course your going to send Si some money to treat himself!!! You’re such a sweet, sweet girl :(((, his sweet, sweet girl. 

You start sending the maximum amount each month which comes out to about £150, its the least you can do!! His your boyfriend! he might be a felon, a little perverted and rough around the edges, but to you, his perfect :)))

His so grateful as well :(( treating himself to snacks :((( chocolate bars, skittles and gummy’s, buying himself a book or two, replacing his flat, stained pillow and ratted blankets, getting himself some actually nice soap and a new toothbrush, buying clothes that actually fit him!! 

His muscles have grown so much since being locked up :3 there’s nothing else to do besides lift weights, work and sit around :((((

“Sweetheart, I want ya’ to know, the second I get out of here, imma treat you real nice, give ya’ everything I can, look after ya’, protect ya’”

and

“The minute I get ya’ home, its all about you, yeah? Imma lay ya’ down and eat ya’ like a starved man, overstimulate that little cunt till ya’ beggin’ me to stop, fuck ya’ so deep and hard that you’ll forget ya’ fuckin’ name, whatever ya’ want darlin’ its all yours, been lookin’ after me so well….. imma show ya’ how much I appreciate it, as ya’ can probably tell, i’m more a man of action, poetry an’t ma style baby ;)”

Definitely learns origami from other inmates, makes little paper swans and hearts for you, the paper always being a little stained from his dirty fingers, obvious crease marks showing his folded it the wrong way and had to reattempt :))))

God he knows how to treat a women :33333

But what I really want to get into are the gifts you send him…..;)

As I established in my last fics about you sending things to Si, you absolutely send him innocent gifts. 

Photos, one of your favourite gold necklaces, an oversized tee that smells like your perfume…. Cute little personal things so he can have a piece of you, nothing crazy :3

I feel like you were reading a spicy romance book. It mentioned the main character stealing his lovers used panties out of her dirty laundry basket, very quickly and idea clicked in your brain :((((

You wanted it to be a surprise for him :(((( you didn’t mention it to him in your letters, only telling him your working on a little something that’s crafted just for him ;))

Waking up in the morning you make sure to fuck yourself with your fingers :(( 

Covering your panties with your juices, making sure their absolutely soaked in your cum :((

Rubbing your thighs together while you’re at work, soaking through your panties with your arousal :((( thinking about Si eating your pussy just like he promised while in important meetings, loosing focus…. your boss pulling you aside and asking if you’re okay :(( 

Scrambling to find an answer to explain your distracted behaviour and flushed cheeks >:(

He ends up sending you home because you’re distracting everyone with your aloofness :(( putting the rest of your team behind because you're a selfish girl with a dirty mind >:( can’t even focus in your workplace because Si’s dirty words have taken over every aspect of your thoughts >:(

At the end of the day your panties are ruined with your slick, soaked  all the way through and smelling of your orgasm just like you planned ;))

And when Si received your thong obviously used??? :000000 he let out a low grunt....

Just the idea that you did this for him, fully confirming in his mind that you wanted him, craved him just as much as he craved you made something animalistic set off in his mind….

Because he received your package in the middle of the day, he couldn’t hide and tend to himself like normal >:((((((

He needed you now, he needed to fuck his cock NOW, not wait till his cell mates were asleep, his heavy balls ached and he knew if he didn’t relieve himself soon, his blue balls would become unbearable >:(((( aching and hurting with each step, uncomfortable and frustrated :(

Purposely being a dick and coursing havoc with his inmates so he can be locked up for his disruptive and disrespectful behaviour ;)))))

A shit eating grin when his in handcuffs being walked to his cell, knowing your panties are tucked into his boxers ;))))) his won yet again ;)

Like I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again, he ALWAYS gets what he wants :)))

The second his cell locks his ripping his hard, leaky cock out and wrapping your used panties around himself :((((

Pumping his fat dick, the friction of the fabric making it that much more satisfying :((((

Closing his eyes and imagining you walking around all day, turned on and flustered for him >:((((( the idea of you restricting yourself from fucking other men because you're his, knowing all you want is to be filled with dick, have the feeling of a real cock fucking you, not your cold, rubber dildo >:(

His precum mixing with your juices only turns him on more, knowing that this is the closest he’ll get to fucking your cunt for now :(( 

As his big hands slowly pump his dick, wanting to savour the moment, he lets out animalistic grunts, slowly speeding up and then slowing his pace, he edges himself almost whimpering when he refrains from his release yet again :(((

Something about holding back satisfies him, his training himself for you, getting ready for when he fucks you for the first time, wanting to hold out long enough that he can rip orgasm after orgasm out of you, forming a white rim of your cum around the base of his cock :(((

Grunted whispers of your name falling from his lips as he tries to hold back yet again, legs twitching and face getting hot as uncontrollable ropes of cum finally release from his vainy cock :(((

His never cum that much in his life, your panties damp with his semen, dick so sensitive that even the feeling of the fabric from his boxes makes him flinch >:(((

You’re such a good girl, always knowing how to please him, feels like you know him inside and out already ;)

You just wait until he gets his hands on you sweet girl ;))) 

Y'all are so fucking obsessed with each other I CAN'T

PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

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[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 4

Part 3

"And you said yes?", Robin said, her voice impressively even.

"I did", Steve said, phone on speaker as he got ready for work. "I figure, if he's going to have a sugar baby, might as well be me, right? I think this is the universe giving me a break."

"Okay, yeah, sure, until he takes you out and gets you involved in like drugs or something, or takes his anger out on you when he doesn't win a Grammy or something. Or worse, you're a mistress and his actual spouse comes for revenge. OR you actually get really involved with him, help him get even more famous, have very talented children, but then his drug running gets you arrested and when you get out of jail he acts like he doesn't know you and estranges your children!"

Steve paused in putting on his shoes, grinning. "You've been watching Empire."

"Terrence did Taraji so dirty Steve."

"But not enough to learn their characters' names. I need you to catch up so we can watch season 2 together." It hurt being away from her. Before, whenever one of them started obsessing over a show, they could literally sit down and put aside one of their days off to binge a bunch of episodes.

"Sorry, let's get back to you dating a rockstar? Steve? Steve."

"We're not dating. He's just gonna text me whenever he wants to fuck. That's it. He might buy me something nice from time to time." Steve grabbed his keys and went out the door, nearly stepping on something left on the floor in front of it.

"Okay, yeah, sure, but isn't this the reason you cut your parents out? Did they want this exact life for you?", Robin asked.

"No, this is totally different. For one thing, Eddie doesn't want commitment. He doesn't want kids out of me. And even if I attend events with him, I'm just arm candy, but you know, in a good way."

"There's a bad way to be arm candy?"

Steve thought back to the functions he had to go to when still under his parents' thumb. There was definitely a bad way to hang off someone's arm like a decoration. He looked to the little box in his hand. No note, but it had clearly been placed in front of his apartment.

He opened it and found an expensive looking watching inside. The face was a cool navy blue color. He didn't need a card to know who it was from.

"Eddie's different from the guys my parents wanted", Steve said. "And when it's over, I'll at least have something to show for it."

"Just don't be stupid about this, dingus. If this goes sideways, I won't be close by to save your ass."

"Noted", Steve said as he closed the box and continued on his way to work.

-------------------

The next time Eddie texted him, it was to go to lunch. It was a more casual setting than before, but still a pretty high end sushi restaurant.

"I must admit, I called you here under false pretenses, Steve", Eddie said as they sat in a booth.

Steve smiled at his serious tone. "I gathered, given our whole arrangement." Being taken out somewhere was typically a prelude for something intimate later, even in a normal relationship. When Eddie asked him out, Steve full expected sex. He wasn't complaining, last time had been very nice. He wondered how long until Eddie sent a simple 'u up?' booty call.

"I have to attend some fancy lunch meeting in a couple days and they're taking us to a sushi place", Eddie started to explain. "Problem is, I hate sushi."

"...Did you...are we here to train your taste buds or something?", Steve asked.

Eddie nodded. "These are some pretty important people and I can't sit there and tell them my favorite fish is whatever they use for fish sticks."

"Pretty sure it's cod."

"What? Nevermind. I just need to get one of everything and force myself to acquire a taste for it", Eddie said, eyes narrowing in focus at the menu.

Steve smiled. It was cute how serious he was being. He thought back to previous gatherings when some alpha would try and force a drink on him or when the hors d'oeuvres being served weren't to his liking.

"Want some advice?", he offered, continuing when Eddie nodded with his big Bambi eyes, "Instead of forcing yourself to like something, you should be able to say why you don't like something."

"Sounds like complaining", Eddie said, putting the menu down.

"No, you sound cultured", Steve clarified. "Watch." He cleared his throat and held up his glass of water. "Thank you for offering, but I only drink water from a natural spring. I prefer Canadian or Icelandic, but I'll take Swedish if you have it. Nothing from Switzerland though, it has this horrid mineral after taste to it." He set the glass down, adjusting under Eddie's wide eyed gaze.

"I don't know if that was bullshit or not but it sounded legit."

"It's legit what some girl said at a party once. I've never sourced where my water came from, but it works for just about anything. If you can articulate why you don't like something, it comes off better than just saying you don't like it."

"What kind of parties did you go to?", Eddie smirked.

Steve shrunk a little. "Just, you know, parties. So what's your experience with sushi?"

"Supermarket stuff", Eddie said simply.

"....You're kidding. How long have you been a rockstar?"

"I didn't realize this was an interview."

Steve tapped the table as he considered something. He looked to the other part of the restaurant. The bar where chefs were preparing the food. He almost asked Eddie a question directly, but remembered his role as a sugar baby. It wasn't his job to ask how much something would cost or even to ask Eddie to spend the money. All he needed to do was ask for what he wanted.

So he moved over to Eddie's side of the booth and leaned in close to his space. "I think you need something a little more...fresh."

"Fresh?", Eddie echoed as Steve led him to stand.

"And flavorful."

"Uh-huh."

"And satisfying", Steve whispered the last part before sitting down at the bar.

Eddie didn't know when Steve got him here but he did and he ordered something called 'omakase' and suddenly the chef's hands got really busy. He put a little filet of something on rice and then took a blow torch to it.

"I didn't know you could cook the fish..."

It was placed in front of him, but Eddie was still skeptical, which Steve noticed.

"'Omakase' means you're trusting the chef to pick out the best for you", he said. Then Steve took his chopsticks and picked up his piece. He ate it in one bite and Eddie subconsciously swallowed as he watched it pass his beautiful lips and then slide down that gorgeous throat. He wasn't even eating sexily, that was just how far gone he was.

Then Steve picked up Eddie's piece and held it to his lips. Eddie didn't even hesitate to open up and let it in. Tender rice, delicate fish, a total opposite to the sushi he'd experienced before. And it didn't stop there. The chef served cut after cut and each time, Steve asked him what he liked or didn't like.

Eddie was no slouch when it came to language. So he was able to come up with that on his own. He had just never considered respectfully refusing food and to do so with a haughty air deserving of a celebrity.

"Mmm, great choice on the shrimp", Eddie praised the chef. "Texture is superb. Sweet on the tongue too. Nice one, Tatsuro-san."

"Better than the crab?", Steve asked.

"I'm sorry, but nothin' beats an old fashioned crab boil for me. It's the only way I can eat crab."

"You've got opinions and you know how to voice them. I never imagined that be an issue for you, but I think you're ready now."

"Oh I've got opinions out the wazoo. I was just taught to never complain about food."

"Good boy", Tatsuro commented as he prepared something else.

"Very good", Steve agreed as an oyster on a half shell was put in front of him and Eddie.

Tatsuro winked at Eddie and he tried not to think about it as they finished up the course. He was absolutely not thinking about how oysters were an aphrodisiac, or how he'd had a great time, or how this felt like a date and not an outing with a hot piece. He wasn't doing a good job of being a sugar daddy, was he?

Time to fix that up right away. He paid for the meal, leaving a generous tip and led Steve out the restaurant, arm around his waist.

"You were extremely helpful. I can honestly say I like sushi now", he beamed. "And I think excellent service deserves a reward."

"You gonna give me a tip too?", Steve teased. And there was certainly a tip Eddie wanted to give him. Really the whole thing, but he had another idea in mind. And thankfully the appropriate place wasn't too far from here.

"You're buying me a suit?", Steve realized as they walked into a tailor's.

"I've got an eye for these kind of things. And you need something to match your new watch", Eddie said. He had a feeling Steve knew what to do, so he let him free.

Steve gave him a look and Eddie made a 'go on' motion. So Steve went, picking out different pieces for himself to assemble a new suit. There was a man awaiting any need of assistance and did so once Steve came out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirrors.

Eddie was sitting before him, watching as Steve appraised his reflection and the tailor took some of his measurements. The suit was in silver, with a black shirt underneath. He finished of the look with a dark blue handkerchief in the chest pocket. It already looked great. Eddie knew he'd be breathtaking once it was bespoke. He ached to put his hands on him but public decency kept him from doing so.

"You look good enough to show off", Eddie praised.

"You look like you have somewhere in mind", Steve said, looking at the other man through the mirror.

"There's a shindig goin' down that I wouldn't mind having a date to."

Eddie put in the order for the suit to be done the day before the event. "Let's head back to my place."

This time, as they traveled, Steve was the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself. His hand stroked Eddie's thigh, getting close to where he wanted but never actually touching.

"What're you thinking about?", he asked when he noticed how hard Eddie was holding the wheel.

"Oysters. And you." And how he really should get a personal driver on hand.

Steve laughed softly and let a finger do circles on his crotch. "I think our chef was trying to be subtle. But I know what oysters are supposed to do."

"Oh?"

"And I don't need any culinary suggestion to get me in the mood." Honestly, he kind of felt like blowing Eddie now and probably would have chanced it if it wasn't still light out. "Can you be a good boy like he said?"

Eddie nodded.

"Good. Because we still have to take the elevator."

They didn't get as far as they did the first time they took this elevator but Eddie did attach himself to Steve's back and kissed at his neck. Once again, Steve could see their reflection in the wall. Eddie's eyes roamed his torso, wanting to go further but holding back. He only got bold enough to pinch a nipple through his shirt when the doors opened to their floor.

Steve only moved because of Eddie's prompting, finding it very easy to melt in his hold. They got about two steps out of the elevator before Eddie pushed him against the wall, kissing his lips and running his hands up under his shirt.

"Saw you lookin' at yourself in the elevator. Pretty baby likes how he looks?"

Steve's only response was to moan against his lips and rub against his leg. The closest camera was all the way at the end of the hall, though they'd be screwed if anyone opened up their door. He knew he looked good and liked looking good. And he'd seen the way Eddie's eyes were glued to him at the tailor's. That was a good feeling too.

Eddie took out his key card to open up his door and pulled Steve inside. They migrated to the couch, just needing to get horizontal. Steve lied underneath, Eddie's leg in between his again and providing friction as he rutted up against it. It was so hot, Eddie wanted to watch him get off just like this. If he got his pants off he could watch that sweet pussy drag-

Steve nearly jolted off the couch when a loud guitar riff sounded from Eddie's back pocket.

"Shit", Eddie hissed when he realized who was calling. He could ignore it, but he knew they'd just keep it up until they got to his door.

"You need to take that?", Steve asked, voice a little breathless.

"Just-just gimme a moment, it'll be quick." Eddie answered and Steve could be patient. He just couldn't be good and patient. He rubbed at Eddie's arm before taking his hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and swirled his tongue around his index finger, keeping his gaze down at first and then looking up at Eddie.

The man above him was speechless, up until whoever he was talking to shouted at him from the other end and got his attention again. Well, half of it anyway. The other half was on Steve sucking down two of his fingers now. Eddie groaned both in frustration and the beautiful man under him. Steve was only half following the conversation but it sounded like their time together might be cut short.

Eddie hung up with a sigh. "Baby...baby I gotta go."

"Right now?", Steve asked.

"Yeah but...but if you could, I mean you can stay here until I get done. It'll be quick, just a couple of hours tops. And I can take you out to dinner too."

"You want me to stay?"

Eddie's hair shook as he nodded. He stood up, glad he had a bit of time to calm his boner down. Then he saw Steve lying there on the couch, lips kissed wet and certain his lips farther down were just as glistening. He leaned over to cup him between the legs, feeling the warmth through his clothes.

"Don't forget who this belongs to", he growled when Steve whimpered.

"Okay." And because this man was sent from above, he whispered, "Daddy."

Eddie couldn't hold back then, kissing him hard, tongue marking his insides while rubbing Steve through his pants. He unzipped them, thinking he could just get him off quick when the ringtone sounded again. Pulling back was the hardest thing to do.

"Keep it nice and warm for me", Eddie said before fully removing himself.

"Hurry back."

And then Steve was alone. In a rockstar's hotel room. He thought about what a sugar baby might do when their daddy went off for what must be a very important but impromptu meeting, especially when it stopped such a heated moment. It became very obvious what he needed to do and so he headed straight for the bedroom.

Part 5

I need you to know that when I first envisioned this fic it was literally just supposed to be smut with connecting scenes but it somehow turned to "don't catch feelings" and "oops we're accidentally dating" the fic so here we are.

Tag Team

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @marklee-blackmore @dragonmama76 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @sllooney @starman-jpg @oxidantdreamboat @xxbottlecapx @chaosgremlinmunson @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord @beckkthewreck @greatwerewolfbeliever @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi

[moonlightkitties]

You are your fathers daughter - Red Dead Redemption Reader Insert (Part Three)

Summary: After you get shot at the O'Driscoll camp, you get close to two of the newer members of the gang.

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: None

Part One Part Two Part Four

Who knew how strict Miss Grimshaw was whenever someone was injured?

You sure didn't until you got shot last night and have been bed ridden ever since. Here you were, laying down, in front of the fire trying your hardest not to bite the next person who asks "How're you feelin?"

You tried feeding Whisky this morning, nope, go back inside and lay down. Sitting up? Sure, just don't try to pick anything up with your bad arm. It was annoying. You hated being stuck inside when there were chores to be done.

Oh, and you've been so busy with your migraine and bullet wound that you haven't notice that there's a new member of the Van der Linde Gang.

A Mrs. Sadie Adler.

Apparently when we first got to Colter, Dutch and Arthur went out to find Micah and John. They only found Micah and he showed them a homestead that, not really surprising, was already occupied by O'Driscoll boys. Well, Micah found her hiding in the basement, and then had the bright idea to terrorize her and burn her house down on accident. She was a miserable poor thing , always crying and hardly ever sleeping. You hardly slept too so she was good company. The pair of you would stay up late, talking. About the gang and the members, her husband, your mother and why Dutch wanted revenge. In a way Sadie was very much like a female version of Dutch. She was very keen on getting revenge as much as Dutch was about Annabelle.

Until one night, when your arm was feeling a bit better she asked "Is there someone special in your life?" you froze, your cheeks going red in embarrassment "Not really" you shrug, leaning your body into the fire, trying to get warm. "Really?" she asks, surprise in her voice. "Not even a small crush?" she teases, knocking her shoulder against yours. Your cheeks turn redder, although it wasn't noticeable because of the fire. "Well, there is, but he's back in the Blackwater jail."

"Oh?" she asked, her interest perking.

"Sean, though you wouldn't know him."

Your mind went to the red headed Irishman you were talking about, he was twenty-one, and although Dutch thinks he's "too old for you" he still managed to get you on small jobs with him weather it was robbing a homestead or keeping watch over camp with him.

It was a stupid schoolgirl crush but you noticed he was taking a liking to Karen so you never had the guts to confess your feelings to him.

A silence went over you and Mrs. Adler as you thought.

"My Jakey" she began, after a few moments of said silence "Was the most kindest, patient, understanding man I've ever met" her voice trailed off so she could let out a quiet sob, your heart ached for her. You never wanted to feel the pain of loosing someone you hold close to your heart. You couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Arthur, John, Dutch or even Hosea again. You were a family with them, your two old dads and two miserable wet dogs that you call brothers. You rubbed her back as she sobbed, and after a few moments she put her hand on yours.

"You're a good kid, (y/n), I never wanted kids but if I did, I would want them to be just like you."

Your heart swelled at her praise, you hardly got any and when you did it was usually from Hosea which, you weren't complaining, but it was hard growing up without being praised for things, big or small.

"Thanks" you mumbled, your voice going shy.

"Well" she said, getting up from her chair "I think I'm gonna head to bed" you gave her nod of acknowledgement and she went to her space on the other side of the cabin and laid down. You sat there for a few more seconds before your mind trailed to the O'Driscoll boy that saved your life a few days ago. You felt guilty at dismissing his plead for you to vouch for him but you knew it would only make his situation worse.

You overheard Dutch talking to Arthur about how he was "bound to speak soon" since he "hadn't ate in days" and that made you feel even more guilty so you pulled your coat over your underclothes and snuck out of the cabin, making sure to not wake any of the other women up. Pearson should have at least a few things out, right? You made your way to the area where he was prepping the food. And yes, you felt awful stealing but you couldn't just let the O'Driscoll starve, well you could, but he saved your life! You grabbed a can of the nearest fruit you could find and made your way into the barn where he was tied up.

The barn doors creaked and you cringed at the sound "No.." the O'Driscoll whimpered in fear "I don't know anything else!" the barn doors shut a little too fast for your liking and made a loud noise as it did. Lets just hope that didn't wake anyone up. The O'Driscoll looked up, his face bruised from being beat and his cheeks hollow from being starved. His eyes widen "You" he began "I saved your life and you didn't even help me!" he exclaimed, his voice, rightfully, angry.

"I'm sorry" you began, opening the can of fruit "I couldn't just call my dad out in front of everyone" you told him "Then do it in private" he spat out. You sighed, annoyed "I can't, why would I tell him an O'Driscoll saved my life? He would never believe me!"

"I ain't an O'Driscoll" he muttered, looking away from me.

"Do you want the food or not?" you asked, getting really annoyed at his pouting.

"Yes.." he mumbled. Once you brought the can of fruit to his mouth he started lapping at it like a dog. A cute one at that. The way he lapped at the fruit juices made you think…unspeakable things. He was cute, a shy look crossed his face once you realized you were staring at him. "Oh! Sorry" you let out an awkward laugh. He looked down, his face turning a bright pink. "Well I should get going" you tell him "But I'll come back tomorrow night, I promise." As you turned to leave you could hear snow crunching from the outside of the barn. You panicked and looked for somewhere to hide but you were too late and the barn door opened. Your heart stopped as John's figure came into view. He narrowed his eyes at you and glanced between the O'Driscoll and then you. "What are you doin in here, kid?" he asked, an annoyed sigh leaving his mouth. You stood there, not knowing what to say "Uhm" you began "I just…I felt bad so I came here to feed him." John let out a chuckle "Feed him?" he repeated "He's not some type of lost puppy we found" John told you, taking a step towards you "He's an O'Driscoll" he spat out "And I can't believe you of all people are showing him mercy."

"What do you mean you of all people?" you asked, glaring up at him. John scoffs "I mean, you're Dutch's daughter, if he catches you being nice to an O'Driscoll, he's gonna have your ass." You grumbled, who cares if I was Dutch's daughter, it's not like I was some innocent lamb that needed saving. John sighed after you didn't respond "Just…come on, you're not even supposed to be out of bed, you're arm is still hurt."

"No, it's not" you snapped "I feel fine!" John raised his hands up, surprised at your outburst "Alright! Sorry! Yeesh!" nevertheless, you still followed him out of the barn and back into the cabin.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting too, scar face?" you ask him, his eyes roll at your nickname for him "I had to get away" he shrugged "Between Abigail's griping and Arthur's complains I just had to find somewhere to relax."

"I don't know why you're complaining" you tell him "If I was Abigail I would have left you long ago." John gave me a warning glare "Don't you start" he huffed "No, because you left without any warning" you snapped "You left Abigail and Jack like they were nothing." John clenched his fists at your words "You don't understand" he told you through gritted teeth "You were fourteen when I left, you knew nothing about what I was going through."

"I was young, but I still knew what was going on. Abigail was counting on you and Jack needed his father in his life." you argued. John huffed "I'm not talking to you about this." As he walked off you felt a tingle of guilt, you didn't mean to make him upset, it's just you saw how much his absence hurt Abigail, but not only her, his absence hurt you and Arthur as well. It was like he forgotten all about you. You were four when he first joined the gang and you grew up with him. Arthur was, and still is, a good older brother too, he was the one that taught you to ride Whisky once she was old enough.

The sun was about to rise and you walked into the cabin to find most of the camp awake. Karen eyed you suspiciously but didn't say anything as you sat in front of the fire. You slept almost all day yesterday so you weren't tired, even though you were up all night talking to Mrs. Adler and John. Reverend Swanson took your bandages off and let out a grunt "What's wrong?" you asked, noticing how concerned he looked "Nothing, your shoulder looks better than it did the first night, I was just worried the infection got worse."

"So, I'm all good to start chores?" you asked, getting anxious for his answer "Yes, but take it easy" Swanson replied, standing up from his chair. Finally. You were good to go back to chores instead of laying around all day. You walked out of the cabin, your shoulder was sore but you wanted to work today. Most of the work was inside the cabin since it was still freezing outside, so you spent the day washing clothes, doing dishes, even helping Pearson prepare the food.

When night came around, you were exhausted, going without sleep and working all day did something to someone. You noticed the men mounting there horses and walked over to Arthur "What's going on?" you asked, patting his horses muzzle. "Were doin the train job" he replied, gruffly. "Really?" you ask "That was today?" Arthur nodded at your question "Yep, Dutch wants us to rob the train and then get us out of here before were caught." Your head turned to Dutch who was busy talking to Hosea, they both looked annoyed with each other and when Hosea stalked off you knew he didn't approve of this plan.

"Come on gentlemen!" you heard Dutch yell "Good luck" you say to Arthur "And be safe, please" Arthur ruffled your head and gave you an affectionate chuckle "I always am kid." you give him a grin "Not always" you say "There was that job with the wagon, that job with the bank and that time you nearly got caught by that bounty hunter." Arthur rolled his eyes "Yeah, yeah, don't remind me" he chuckled.

As Arthur and the others left, you were left outside. You longed to go with them but you knew you were unexperienced and Dutch would force you to stay anyways. The O'Driscoll boy was still tied up in the barn so you made a mental note to stop by there once you checked on Hosea, he was starting to grow on you a bit. You opened the door to the cabin where Hosea was and you found him in front of the fire, busy writing something down.

"Hosea?" you asked and made him jump "Sorry!" you said, putting your arms up "Ah, (y/n), what's wrong sweetheart?" he asked, patting a chair beside him so you could sit. You shrug "Nothing, I just noticed you and dad arguing and wanted to check up on you." Hosea waved your concerns away "I'm fine, your father just" he lets out a sigh as he trails away "Your father is a very stubborn man and won't listen to anyone" he rambled "I thought we were supposed to be lying down but when there's money to rob he jumps on the chance like a cowboy at a rodeo" Hosea finishes his ramble with a huff and a rub to his forehead.

"Just, please, don't end up like your father, (y/n), for my sake" he was teasing, but his eyes told you that he was being serious. You looked like Dutch, a lot, your facial features, your dark hair, you even notice you're starting to sound like his mannerisms as well. "I'll try" you tell him. Hosea nodded "Now was that all?" he asked "I need to get some sleep. In case this job goes well we'll be leaving in the morning" you nodded "Yeah, I just wanted to check on you." Hosea pulled you into a comforting hug "You're a good kid" he told him, kissing your head, something he always did ever since you were a toddler. You melted into his embrace and stayed like that for a little moments longer. You missed these moments, you missed Hosea, it seemed like you could never see him.

"You know I'm always here for you right?" he asked and you nodded "I know…I just don't want to let you down." he chuckled "You could never let me down, you have some fire inside you and I don't want to see it burn out."

His words clung to you that moment as you walked towards the barn. The men were gone and half the camp was asleep. The O'Driscoll was sleeping when you walked towards him and jumped when you tapped his shoulder. He calmed down once he knew it was you "Hey" you said "uh hey?" he said, confusion in your voice.

"I um, I never really did thank you" you said "For saving me" the O'Driscoll shrugged "It was nothin really" he mumbled "What's your name?" you asked "Or do ya like O'Driscoll better" you smirked "Kieran" he said "Kieran Duffy."

Kieran.

"Well, Kieran, do you have a family?" you ask, trying to get to know him "Why?" he asked, suspicious "You goin ta kidnap and tie them up too?" he asked. You scoffed "No, I'm just trying to get to know you that's all."

"Well, uhm, I-I don't, my parents died when I was young, from cholera" he explained "Oh, sorry about that" you told him and he shrugged "It's alright, it was a long time ago."

As you spoke with him he mentioned he was from Ireland and that he and his parents immigrated from there to America when he was little. He also told you he joined the army but it "didn't work out" and that he joined a gang way before he met the O'Driscoll's. In the end you knew a lot about him and you told him that being Dutch's daughter demanded a lot out of you and how stressed you were about following your father's footsteps like he oh so wanted you to. You thought about the conversation that night and how much you really wanted to talk to him more. He was good company and heat rushed to yours cheeks as you thought back to the way he was nervous and squirmed around you.

Maybe, you could grow to be something more.

[missmarveledsblog]

I'll show you different ( joel miller x reader) part one

Summary : y/n ( peach ) is learning to be free , learning to be her own woman again. Since life wasn't so easy for girl she ran from one monster into hands of another now back in her hometown back with her grandfather she learns being free is lot harder than she thought but lucky for her there's a couple of brothers help her along the way .

Warning : mentions and allusions to domestic violence and child abuse. Slightly angst but not much .

It’s funny when you hear thing repeated to you , that you begin to believe them and absence and time makes you take a step back and you realize how truly fuck it all is , when it takes an outside look to see the toxicity . y/n would always be indebted to her friends . she was a runaway , a product of a cycle that kept repeating from her mother to now her. She was afraid when she was younger no one would believe her so to escape her father she ran with the help of fake id , she crossed country ended up away from one monster to the hands of another . she thought he was one to save her , she should of seen the mask he held perfect man saving her like a damsel in distress . looking back it was stupid to believe it all but thank to good surprising people she was able to escape and only one place she could go that had family was austin texas , she was born and bred , only family consisted of her grandfather probably the only man in her life that didn’t hurt her , one that loved her no matter what . she felt guilty not seeing him in so long and yet when she showed up on his door step he said sorry , he apologized for not protecting her as if he was the one to let her down.

He set her up in one if his houses , his old home that he was going to rent out but couldn't due to it Being The one He shared with his wife. She spent many times in the confines of these walls Everytime her mother was in er or her father in jail . The house held the only happy memories from her broken past . She was happy to be home though this was always home whether it was just her or her grandparents This was her safe space , her breather The one place that didn't have fear laced In the foundations .

She Stood looking over the garden , knowing to sass her grandfather for its state . She checked the old shed door almost falling off The hinges But the things she needed taken care of pulling Them out And heading placing Them along the porch only thing she couldn't do was put on the gloves Those ones that kept her grandmother's hands safe tending to the once beautiful rose bushes. No those went into a draw In the house to be kept safe . She wrote list smiling at the freedom Of being just able to leave and come back without a fight Or more To ensue After . Checking the car she'd bought second hand , like it was second nature make sure nothing or none one was lurking Waiting . She watched the town passing By one she grew up in seeing the change and yet it was still the same . Few saying their hellos and what not she could tell it was to fish information out , the faux Friendly manners to fuel the gossip pressing at tip of their tongues . She and her grandfather even held A little bet on it one she was winner of the moment she got his text standing in hardware store .

Eyes scanning the aisle looking at the buckets of paint all looked the same and yet All claiming to be the best for this and that . She moved back trying to make out The buckets up higher only for her back to hid a solid Mass and clash of Metal making her tense up .

“ woah easy there darling” the voice rasped making her spin to see what or who she hit.

“ shit I am so sorry here let me help” she spun picking up the bit And bobs She knocked From his hands .

“ which one you need” he asked softly head nodding To the shelf .

“ white paint one up there says it weather bearing , I need like two cans “ she shrugged going to hand his thing only he Walked up effortlessly reaching for the ones she wanted . “ good brand actually does the job Too” he chuckled placing Them in her cart , glancing at other thing that sat there .

“ I hope so still getting used to the heat again it's something” she nodded finally handing His things to him. “ well thank you and sorry again for before” all she said heading off .

“ hey wait if you need help with anything build , repair heres my card” he smiled pulling it out and holding It out.

“ thanks … Joel but i got it covered” she glanced to the card.

“ actually I'm tommy work's my big brother , but we actually work in construction and since I'm guessing your new To town well handy man is handy to have right” he chuckled.

“ well thank you tommy but I'm Not new to town just back and I'll hold on to “ she sighed before completely leaving him standing there like a boy lost in dreamland.

“ tommy what you doing standing around, John's waiting” a gruff Snapped the man from his dreamy state.

“ met the hottest girl in town joel give a man a minute ” he smiled Brightly .

“ you said that Friday night too “ the older miller Rolled his eyes .

“ no this ones different I can feel it” he chuckled as two headed Get rest of their supplies.

The two brothers heading home for lunch Tommy miller non stop Chatting over the mystery Girl , while joel learned To drown his Little brother out knowing The man would move on , glance at the car cross the street wondering who the mystery tenant was knowing his boss wasn't In a rush to rent that property out at all. Seemed to special for him to do so but didn't question much when he did event catch the new car parked out there once no trouble was brought To the street well it was fine By joel .

Tommy eyes widened as He caught the person standing on the porch. “ that's her man that one from hardware Store” he clapped his brother excitedly On the shoulder.

Hell his brother was right she was beautiful, yet he even from where he stood he could tell she was way too young for him she barely looked mid twenties probably College kid needing place to stay he reckoned.

“ I should say hey welcome her to the neighborhood” tommy winked .

“ though it was her” the voice Of miss Benson taking A stand beside them sad look on her face. “ that boys is john granddaughter y/n, now don't Bother poor girl I'd say it hard being back here” her words more pointed to the younger of The two men.

“ hard, how ?”.

“ y'all not heard What happened surprised with the mouths Around here , her mama was killed By her daddy girl ran away when she was 16 all way across the country , think it was new York guess she finally came back “ she sighed remembering the little pick of a thing that used to stay in that very house.

“ shit That is ..” tommy voice dropped.

“ he got life and he should of gotten the needle” she scoffed. “ hey peach “ she called making girls head shoot over.

“ miss Benson you still here huh?” She smiled although staying away taking in the two men standing til gaze feel On one .

“ I ain't following you darling , that brother I was telling you about We live here” tommy chuckled as three headed over.

“ how you doing sweet girl , good to See you back” the elderly Woman smiled softly .

“ I Don't think all have those same feeling but you alway been Exception to most” peach shook her head shyly .

“ so your grandpa Is our boss and landlord” tommy smiled bright flashing his flirty grin only to return a head nod back .

“ you fixing up your grandmother's garden ,about time someone did I'm sick of giving out That stubborn man” miss Benson chuckled.

“ he got mouthful from me too , but he ain't got green thumb is his Excuse” She rolled her eyes.

“ well if you need anything you got our card” tommy winked again she didn't bat a lash at the action.

“ thank you again I don't think I do “ she smiled softly trying not to come off rude Or anything .

“ welcome party has arrived “ the cheery Voice called .

“ of course it has , although not happy I find out she here Days later “ miss Benson narrowed Her eyes.

“ letting girl settle In before you start with your casseroles is all Ellis “ he chuckled .

“ my fault miss Benson , just needed time to be back” she smiled Weakly it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.

“ I'll drop by Once your settle peach good Seeing you” the old woman smiled.

“ we best get our lunch but need anything darling” tommy smiled .

“ I got your card “.

“ come on , it was nice to meet you y/n” joel nodded.

“ you too , pop I got your Food ready come in when you finished” she smiled heading Into the house not Really used to the social Proprietary ties Being back .

“ hey boys y'all wouldn't mind keeping eye on her while she there , you know young girl living a lone and all that?” john Asked but felt their was more to his words .

“ course we don't not one bit” Joel called back something was different about the girl , he'd give that much to tommy but he couldn't place his finger On it. Something she was hiding. Some thing clouded over her like weight of world was on her Shoulder So to say joel was intrigued was understatement

Part two,

[shisekibo]

[Story Translation] Chapter Four - A Silent Mansion [Episode Two: Part Five]

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- Devil's Palace -

Some time after the hearing...

I was finally able to relax again at the mansion.

Haures' arrest still weighed heavily on my mind...

But I considered myself lucky to even make it back.

Berrien:

“Master, have some tea."

Berrien:

“You went through a lot at the hearing."

Berrien:

“I don't know all the details, but I hear they put you through a lot."

Choices:

“Yes..."

I told Berrien about everything that happened during the hearing.

About Teddy's statement... And how Haures was taken away...

And how I was almost arrested too...

I was saved by Lucas' negotiating skills...

I don't know what magic he used, but after he took some time to talk to Lord Finlay and the other nobles in private...

My punishment was downgraded from confinement in jail to house arrest.

Basically, I wasn't allowed to set foot outside Devil's Palace.

It didn't really change much from my life here before.

Berrien:

“We can always count on Mr. Lucas."

Berrien:

“I wish we could have rescued Haures too..."

Berrien:

“But I'm glad you were okay. I can't thank Mr. Lucas enough."

Choices:

“Yes."

Berrien:

“We have a new Intelligent Angel on our hands..."

Berrien:

“I don't think now is the time for humans to be fighting amongst ourselves like this."

Berrien:

“Anyway... We need to find a way to dispel any doubt about Haures' loyalty as soon as possible."

Berrien:

“We cannot allow him to be executed under any circumstances."

Berrien:

“And... No one is as cheerful as usual without Haures here."

Choices:

“You're right..."

Ammon:

“sigh..."

Fennesz:

“..."

Boschi:

“Tsk..."

Lato:

“I never thought Haures would be arrested."

Lato:

“I feel bad for him. They must be torturing him right now."

Flure:

“Torturing?! Lato, don't say that even as a joke!"

Lato:

“Oh...? I wasn't joking."

Lato:

“Aren't most people tortured after they're arrested?"

Boschi:

“Well... I guess it's not out of the question."

Boschi:

“He's a Devil Butler who they think is in league with the Angels. They're not exactly going to go easy on him."

Muu:

“No way... So they might actually...?"

Boschi:

“Don't worry. He's not so soft that he'll break just because they hurt him a little."

Boschi:

“We just need to get him out as soon as possible."

Ammon:

“But... How can we do that, Mr. Boschi?"

Boschi:

“You just gotta... prove his innocence."

Ammon:

“And how are we going to do that?"

Boschi:

“I don't know. I'd have done it already if I did."

Lamli:

“It'll be alright! Mr. Lucas is doing everything he can right now!"

Lamli:

“He went out with Nac as soon as he got back from the hearing."

Choices:

“Really?"

Now that Lamli mentioned it, Lucas and Nac weren't anywhere to be seen.

Lamli:

“They're probably running around right now, trying to find a way to prove his innocence!"

Choices:

“With their talent, we might stand a chance..." "I see..."

Choices:

“Yes..."

Miyaji:

“Hmm... I think even Lucas will struggle this time."

Choices:

“Huh...?" "...You're probably right."

Miyaji:

“It's difficult to prove that you didn't betray someone."

Miyaji:

“It was only us, the Grosvenor Family and the Sardeis family there when it happened..."

Miyaji:

“And we lost almost all the soldiers."

Miyaji:

“Where are we supposed to find proof? It wouldn't be a stretch to say there is none."

Lamli:

“That's true..."

Lono:

“So what are we supposed to do?"

Lono:

“Haures could be sufferin' right now? Are we supposed to just twiddle our thumbs and wait?!"

Miyaji:

“Well..."

Bastien:

“Hm. Talking about it won't change anything."

Choices:

“Bastien?"

Bastien:

“Master. I'm going to take my leave now."

Lono:

“Hey, Bastien. Just where do you plan on goin'?"

Bastien:

“I'm going to do some training and think of a plan. Let me know if you come up with anything."

Bastien:

“If I'm going to be of use to anyone, it'll be with my sword."

step... step... step...

Lono:

“Oi! Bastien!"

Lono:

“God... He's always so uncooperative."

Miyaji:

“No... I think he's so worried about Haures, he needs to find a way to calm down."

Miyaji:

“I don't want to admit it, but if we don't clear Haures' name soon..."

Miyaji:

“He really will be executed."

Flure:

“No... It can't be..."

Lono:

“But I thought Lord Finlay was eager to understand our point of view."

Lono:

“He won't go that far, will he?"

Miyaji:

“Sadly, I can't confidently say he won't."

Miyaji:

“From what I've heard, he isn't afraid to make a few sacrifices for his own gain."

Miyaji:

“If he executes Haures, we'll be much weaker..."

Miyaji:

“But it will soothe the worries of his nobles and be a peace offering to the Sardeis Family."

Miyaji:

“Executing him is much more profitable than not."

Miyaji:

“He could make the call at any moment."

Muu:

“No way... I can't believe it!"

Muu:

“I don't want Mr. Haures to die!"

Choices:

“Muu..."

Ammon:

“I'm getting even more worried..."

Miyaji:

“We know one thing..."

Miyaji:

“No matter how much we worry, he won't be executed right away."

Berrien:

“That's true. The nobles want information from him first."

Berrien:

“For now, we need to calm down and think of a way to save him."

Flure:

“Yes..."

Ammon:

“I know it's true but I can't stop worrying."

Fennesz:

“Yes..."

Fennesz:

(No, this is no good. At least one of us needs to remain positive.)

Fennesz:

(I need to be a leader in Haures' stead.)

Fennesz:

(But how am I supposed to lead when I can't see the way...)

Fennesz:

“If only Haures was here now..."

Boschi:

“Tsk..."

[peemanne]

ok. i'm sorry. i'm on that tomodachi grind right now. it just went down. i NEED to report this. truly historic moment in pee-land island just unfolded on my monitor

beautiful pee-land island right. nishiki's become a bit of a favorite for me. he was actually the first islander to reach level 20. he's kind of just been living the life so far on here. i sent the gallery awhile back. he's been doing real well for himself, between his massive closet, dyed hair, and living underwater because i got bored. he's one of the most popular islanders too, scoring an impressive top 2 on the popularity ranking, as well as getting along really well with a majority of the island

it's not all sunshine and rainbows for the island's #2 fish, though. he's been down on his luck in one specific aspect:

Romance.

in tomodachi life, your islanders can try to get two of their friends together. three (3) separate islanders have attempted to get nishiki together with cynthia (of pokemon gen 4 fame), but every time they walk away from it, still just friends.

(PICTURED ABOVE: Kazuma Kiryu attempts to get Nishiki and Cynthia together)

this would come to a head when nishiki eventually got the love icon. (pictured below is nishiki kicking his feet and giggling while love icons circle his head)

unfortunately he decided to confess his love with a really bad pickup line (sorry i don't remember the specifics but like. it was dire. i winced), and he ended up getting rejected.

(i had him change outfits)

however, in an utterly unprecedented event, nishiki turned his head right back up, and decided to have another go at it. i didn't even know this event could happen prior to this.

unfortunately, cynthia did not even show up to the second invitation. nishiki fell into a depression so i let him go to cambodia. as a treat. for morale.

but there were glimmers of hope. i noticed cynthia's opinion of nishiki only went up after all that happened. kiryu would again try to get them together to no avail, but after that, a prompt showed up for nishiki, going along the lines of "why would kiryu want us together? oh now i'm curious". she even returned to him his lost mug. and like, i don't know. i was feeling pretty optimistic after that. i was very much rooting for nishiki at this point. what can i say, it was really cute. it became my crackship. i wanted to see it happen. even took this picture in the photo studio cause i thought it'd be cute

how romantic. alright. now cut to last night. i boot up the game, get my fountain donations, yadda yadda it's cool. i check out the clothing shop for the daily rotation of outfits, and i spot this.

it looks exactly like the suit he wears in yakuza 1. and i'm like hell yeah. i've had him wear a bunch of outfits so it's nice to see one so accurate (I've been waiting for a suit for Kiryu since I've added him). i get excited and get him fitted.

(PICTURE ABOVE: Nishiki wearing a fish hat underwater as well as a dashing white suit)

i'm feeling pretty good after this. i go about doing the island rounds. eventually, cynthia's problem icon pops up and i go to see what's up. it wasn't just any problem icon though. it was the big heart

as i said before her opinion of nishiki was only getting better. and i'm like, oh my god. it's all coming together. it might be happening. i'm jumping up and down. then i open the door

KAZUMA KIRYU. SHE FELL FOR KAZUMA KIRYU

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. TOMODACHI LIFE CRASHED MY CRACKSHIP. HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF

AND IT WENT REALLY WELL. THEY'RE OFFICIALLY DATING NOW. STILL HAPPY FOR THEM BUT THEY CRASHED MY CRACKSHIP. STOLE IT FROM ME. RIPPED IT FROM MY HANDS. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENS IN YAKUZA 1 TOO WITH YUMI. WHAT THE HELL

that suit is cursed. i'm sure of it now. i gotta dye his hair back and put kiryu in the jail room now. fate never rests for the brothers. what the hell.

pictured below is nishiki immediately after this Incident (he is joined by Hatsune Miku and Sin Kiske)

i then saved the game and NISHIKI JUMPSCARE HE'S HERE TOO

i was still reeling over it, then i got curious. i headed for the beach and started up judgment bay.

19:2 ratio. i'm crying. only kiryu himself (As well as competitive Pokemon staple and famed #girlboss Landorus-Therian, who is standing behind Kiryu's massive head) still see the good in him. i'm in shambles

whatever this island has in store for nishiki i just pray it goes well for him. he was living the life here, and the last thing i want to see is that being taken away from him. i hope this does not cascade to another shirtless fistfight on an observation deck.

[my0vershareworld]

𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕪𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖

Pairing ; Sosuke Aizen x F!Arrancar reader

Genre ; Angst , One-shot

Word count ; 1532

CW ; typical asshole aizen

Requested by anon ; Can you do head cannons or maybe oneshot of Aizen with a female arrancar that’s like loyal to him and also REALLY powerful it doesn’t have to be romantic

you were one arrancar to a shinigami like him. you were powerful and mighty and could take over anything and anybody if you could, yet you only kneel and placed your head down for Sosuke Aizen, the one and only man that you'll ever love and respected.

it wasn't as surprising, Aizen is a powerful man, even you know it and also he himself know it. he found you in a middle of a dessert, he was like a savior that reaches his hand out to you and picked you up from the lonesome feelings that you have been in your entire life. you weren't put as an espada, no one knew of your existence except the espadas and he kept you away as a secret for no one shall be ever allowed to ever touch something as delicate as you. the espadas were not allowed to speak upon your name or they'll be punished. he sees you as a tool, but you see of him as a savior- someone you need to respect, love, and be the most loyal too.

you knew about everything about Aizen's plan, he tells you everything he could and you trusted him with your whole heart. his eyes and words tell no lies, after all, why would someone like him lie to you? you were a pretty dime found within chaos. Aizen couldn't resist to pick you up and cares for you like a divine glass. he was gentle with you than he'll ever be with anybody else.

but then he put you into a meeting with the espada putting you to sat besides him s he show a screen of the group of children coming in to save the princess. you have known about the princess being put into a jail by Cifer. but you didn't care enough. but now the thing is that, Aizen-sama might be in danger- are you looking down on him, perhaps? ah, how could you. you couldn't resist the thoughts- you were always the strongest, always the strongest of them all and forever will be. that's what you have always been.

you weren't put on the front row, in fact, you were put to be besides Aizen. "I must apologize for you must'nt fight with those group of ryokas, but soon you'll be able to fight with those that might be worthy of your power.. but I believed you would be able to kill them if you try" he believes in you. he put his trust into you. how could you break his trust- that was like an unspoken promise-

after, you were put within Karakura town, and put with a task to destroy the town and yet the captains was there. is this who Aizen-sama was talking about? ah, how reckless. they don't know about you nor your power, tch, some people like them wouldn't be able to make a scratch on you.

and you were quite correct! no one was able to scratch nor make you bleed, but oh how the only one that you didn't expect at all to cut you down, cut you down, Aizen Sosuke were behind you all of a sudden, his zanpakuto sliced through you like a piece of bread as you looked over your shoulder with shocked and betrayed looks as he smiled.

"how foolish to think I loved you, I've only held you as a tool thank you for being an important step to my succession, and I am sorry for that you're now useless within this war"

it was a harsh word. he slice you almost into half and as you fall you could only ever looked at Aizen as blood splatters and fallen over like blood rain. ah, how could Aizen ever do something like this to you- you were loyal to him for decades- for so long that you couldn't even count. Aizen was the only man that makes you truly feel worthy and realized onto your true potential and achieve what you have been hidden in with the sand. he was the only man that could reaches out his hand to you without a want to kill nor fight- the only one oh how can you be so cruel, Aizen-sama

you closed your eyes and you tears fallen down from your eyes- ah- how the betrayal hurts so much. you did everything and tried to killed everyone for the sake of him- and yet this it just how it will end? did all that loyalty of yours go to nothing? was this all his plan along? to use you as a puppet and then throw you out into the trash once you're useless? oh, how you wish you could move, but you couldn't, you weren't able to, the wounds were truly fatal. and yet you laid there.

Aizen-sama how could you be so cruel.

[cardentist]

evillious posting again, but I get a bit miffed when people Genuinely get mad at gallerian for cheating on his wife, insist that it's unforgivable and put it on the shelf with hetti media.

1: because it's just silly when people love characters who do cannibalism and blow up the literal entire earth in this series. the man caused fantasy world war 1, I think he's got bigger problems going on

2: ma's role in the whole thing and how what she did was narsty as hell

3: that the cheating was Like That.

Allow Me To Paint A Picture:

you're a teenage boy and a guy you think is your friend gets mad at you when you talk to his girlfriend. you both think it's weird but you don't say anything because you really don't have many friends in the first place.

but then your so called friend goes on a tirade about how you're inherently lesser than him and tries to literally hunt you for sport, and you get shot and one of your fingers never moves right again but you survive. and then you find out that your ex friend was a horrific monster who was born and raised by horrific monsters, and what happened to you is just one in a Very long line of lives they've tried to crush. so you use your status to help these people who saved your life put your used to be friend behind bars through lying and cheating and manipulation

and when it's over and done with his girlfriend who was never allowed to Really be your friend (she'd been His girlfriend, and you'd been His friend) confides in you that the way he treated her was awful and hurt her too. and you don't really like her and she doesn't really like you so much as you both know that it'd make him mad if he knew that you were sneaking off together. you learn that he killed himself in jail, and you miss the person who'd been your friend.

and now you're not even 18 years old and you're getting married, because trying to get back at someone who already wasn't there had consequences. but when your daughter is born you love her. you love her with everything that you have, you love her with everything you'd want to give a family.

you and your wife don't really get along. you'd never Really been friends before you were partners, and she doesn't get you in a way that you don't get her. she always had abundance even when she never had control, you've spent your whole life wrestling for control because you've never been given anything.

it's your birthday, and she's not with you. it's your birthday and one of the people who saved your life is here instead. it's your birthday and she wears the face of someone you lost a long time ago. it's your birthday and you've always wanted a family. it's your birthday and you've never had alcohol before but she bought it for you special to celebrate and she tells you to drink as much as you want. it's your birthday and you're wobbling on your feet. it's your birthday and you're laying in her bed. it's your birthday and she looks down her nose at you but she doesn't say no.

she keeps visiting you. she keeps holding you. she tells you what you want to hear. and then she's gone again.

both gallerian and mira were victims of circumstance, and Neither of them were good for each other. they didn't Deserve what happened but they weren't In Love. they married because their careers would be over if they didn't, they married because their child wouldn't have a family if they didn't, they married because they had to.

also gallerian is gay

(going into detail about what, Exactly, makes what ma did creepy as hell under the cut. 1: because it's creepy and 2: because a lot of people know and don't need to be subjected to it again)

warnings for: incest and grooming

so without getting into the Specifics of how ma happened (because that would take too much) here's the break down:

ma is an Amalgam that's hundreds of years old. she was made by smashing together a bunch of souls at random, and she wants to absorb more into her. but there are Also souls that she wishes to expel out of her.

to do this she needs to create empty vessels that meet the conditions that the souls will accept. namely they need to have the right magical potential (the souls that created her were, of course, some of the most magically inclined that's ever existed).

the problem with That being that essentially the salem witch trials are happening and have been for decades. most people with strong magical potential are dead.

enter gallerian's father. he's a judge with magical potential. she has a baby with him, that baby is gallerian. she then fakes her own death to dip out of being his mother by getting caught As a witch and being "executed."

the problem being that while gallerian has the right magical Potential (being a combination of her magical potential and his fathers), he's not the right Gender (the soul she wanted to get rid of is rather picky).

and so gallerian grows up without a mother, poor and with everyone knowing that he's related to a witch (there's Also something to be said about ma being fantasy japanese, with them living in fantasy america in roughly world war 1 and 2 era. though that part isn't elaborated on in text)

And Then All Of The Above Happens.

She Knows that she is gallerian's mother, She Knows that growing up ostracized without a family fucked him up, She Knows that he's vulnerable and why.

she was his mother, she met gallerian again when he was a teenager, he brought him back into her life specifically with the goal of having sex with him to get rid of the soul she was carrying, it was his 20th birthday the first time they had sex, she knew it was his first time drinking, he couldn't stand on his own.

if the soul had latched onto gallerian when he was born then she would have killed him, but it didn't and so she ruined him instead.

this is grooming, what she did was groom him. and it's not that gallerian doesn't have Any agency, but I simply don't think it's reasonable to treat the situation like it's cut and dry when it isn't.

Especially when she'd come back and does so much worse.

[yichens]

i find it so ironic how after becoming blind or, simply, disabled, day also turns invisible. suddenly, he's just not there, like it's not he who cannot see but he who cannot be seen.

ppl don't really talk to him, don't address him, barely give him any choices of his own. they talk over him and past him and around him, about him, surely, but not to him. it's like he's not there. he's this huge responsibility, but he's no longer a person. he's left to places like a dog or an object to wait for others to do all the things for him, and then he's just expected to agree with their plans. the same plans that still affect him and his life and future.

no wonder he's so angry and fed up with everybody. he wants to speak for himself. he wants to be heard and seen again. he used to enjoy having eyes on him – as a national athlete, there obviously were many (admiring, evaluating, assessing) eyes on him, and he liked the spotlight. he's obviously very proud of his own accomplishments and it must be frustrating to be suddenly reduced into nothing. like what he did never mattered. like who he is never mattered.

he is just this now. his blindness. someone who can be overlooked bc he cannot see it anyway. he's not far from being dead, as he puts it himself.

-

meanwhile, mork experiences the brutality of being abandoned over and over again. that's his wound. when his sister leaves, the pain gets the loudest, but even outside of that, he's hearing the same thing over and over again.

from what we got to know, no one ever really learned why exactly rung decided to kill herself. i assume it was the guilt over feeling like she failed mork, like she brought him more peril than was worth living for (debt?). she obviously wanted mork to have a good future, but i guess none of her actions ever translated to mork in that way.

to him, rung left after deciding that mork just wasn't worth it. she took "the easy way out" after realizing that fighting beside mork and tolerating his behavior just weren't worth the effort. mork really wasn't making the best choices, but i don't think he was ever "beyond saving". mork just thinks this is how it all went.

and then he keeps hearing the same thing from others:

after being in jail, his friends abandon him even if he took part in that fight for them. he wasn't enough for them to stick around (not that they were actually that good company, but he knew them, spent time with them, relied on them on some level)

porjai broke up with him bc mork was prioritizing his friends over his girlfriend. which porjai points out humorously, as is part of their friendship as exes, but which lands as a stab anyway. "you weren't enough as you are," it says. "you should've done better to not have me leave you."

no one wants mork to work for them bc all they can see is his past mistakes and not him trying to presently correct them. his skills aren't enough to overshadow what he did. him trying to be better cannot erase those mistakes he already made. "you should've been better to begin with," it says. "there's nothing you can do to change that now."

-

ppl keep turning their backs on mork, leaving him behind, labeling him unworthy or simply not good enough. even day's family does this, looking at him once and going, "you obviously do not belong here."

day disagrees. on some level at least, he disagrees. bc mork actually sees him. after all this time, someone actually sees him again.

meanwhile, well. we had that whole montage at the end of the episode to tell us how badly mork wishes to believe that someone is finally giving him a chance to prove he isn't a lost cause, that he is worth something.

-

my expectations for the second ep are that these two are going to learn just how bad it actually feels when someone is able to see you and how hard you will have to work to prove yourself to those who barely wish to listen.

[rorynn]

I'm so sorry I wasn't active I was doing something. Drawing some shit like this. I even made my sketchbook a bit chunky. (I'm using gramarly cuz English is my second language)

The first is Monkey Y/n, who is a half-human and half-monkey demon. And like she is a witch. I like thinking something about witches. THEY ARE MY SECOND FAVORITE MONSTERS. Like she used to be friends with Six-eared Macaque. Macaque was a pre-teen (9-11) and Y/n is in her early teens (13-14). Later as adults, they started a relationship. Y/n is a chill and confused gf while Macaque is like flirty and crazy in love. Everything changed when Y/n back from a mission while being away for like half a year until she heard that Macaque was killed by the hands of Monkey King. It outrages her and wanted to get her revenge on Wukong but realized her neckless wasn't with Macaque anymore. It was odd. You thought Monkey King stole it but you managed to find it it was covered in dirt and broken. It almost looks like it wasn't needed. Then there was a realization and breakdown then y/N promised to fall in love again or get tricked and yadayadayadayada she diseppierd for centuries. Then they met again

2. Then for the next hundred years, they meet again AND Macaque thinks Y/n will come back to him but nahh "Do you really think I the great Witch of Abomination? Think again" Then shoves the neckless she gave him when they were young adults.

3. In the Lego Monkie kid universe ( It's how I designed Macaque I mean people say drawing a character 'in my style' so yee) AS it is written on small papers what happens in different universes. So in the Lego Monkie kid universe Y/n just kicks him away because she has a job to do and doesn't want anyone to mess it up. While in my universe Y/n tries to kill him. Macaque has to die again. But he can't stop falling in love even more while Y/n fell out of love. She moved on and already has 3 kids. well, 2 are Macaques and y/ns while her youngest is fully human but has powers like Discord from mlp.

4. Okey so the woman that is standing next to Monkey Y/n is me as a Celestial guard or something. Monkey y/n needed help for something so she went for some help. Then I the Celstal guard would gladly helped.

5. I made myself as a Spider-woman. But like it says on icecream Chopstick. A mutated. This is very short so like there was a spider that had a mutated venom on her fat bunda. How I was bit well....I was filling my water bottle and I didn't see a spider inside so I drank it and bam I was kicked out of my home and became a vigilant Spider-woman, I have 16 eyes, I can spill my venom when I bit someone and forgot my toxic family, my school. my old life..... And 1 year later a Spider sociality came to invite me but I refused cuz.. Why should I mean they have a thousand spider people on it why do they need another one???? I refused multiple times.. heck they even tried to force me but I made it again very clear I will not join. So they stopped bugging me until an Indian Spider-man give me some weird tech bracelet and said to keep it if I in case need their help. Then this boy named Miles Morales came into your universe and said this was whole a misunderstanding that he came from the wrong universe and that he needs to go back to his universe to save his dad but he is being chased by multiple spider-people who is leading them is Miguel O'hara. Ahh that annoying bitchy grumpy man with a problem temperature. Then he explained that he is also being chased by a powler-version of himself. And I explain powler-version of himself is also the enemy I'm trying to put him in jail and also my sister's best friend. He was shocked. But I had no time to explain so I told him to stay at my place. I MADE HIM A BUREK S MESOM AND HE LOVED IT. Then he said that he will never be able to save his dad the one I wrote on a pic was a mistake. So i told him to not worry about them.

6. This is like a small doodle of me, Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, and Monkey witch y/n who sleeps naked alone. The reason why she sleeps naked it's because it itchy for her to sleep with pj's and sweets a lot which causes the bed to get wet and she stinks a lot and hates to take a shower twice a day. She only does it alone- when Y/n started to have a relationship with Macaque she was embarrassed to ask Macaque if she could sleep with no clothes on nothing sexual it is normal for monkeys to be naked which of course Macaque notices that and tells her that it won't bother him after all a lot of tribe monkeys sleep naked or be naked. It is actually common for monkeys to be naked :)

7. This is actually funny to me. I made an Eagle Y/n a very long ago I wanted to draw more of her with Golden Winged Peng From Lego Monkey Kid she is also a sister figure of a Macaque. I was listening to 'Ayesha Erotica - 9 am in Calabasas where there is a scenario where he talks about starting to fall in love with Eagle Y/n and yadadada not gonna make it longer and you guys probably that one trend on TikTok lalalalala ˛& okokokokok, yeah they are both okokokokok. Don't ask me why It's my opinion cuz they both are listening to each other.

And here is a little note for everyone to see better. I was even going to make Y/n shorter before I searched about eagles' height. What I was mostly curious about is the height and the types of eagles are called. Y/n is a golden eagle. MEANING he can sit on her lap whenever he can I even searched about Peng's origin in Buddhism. Mostly wiki. Also, Y/n has leopard-like teeth and it looks something like this:

8. And another Y/n Oc from Rise of the Guardians as Halloween spirit. A love interest for Easter Bunnymund. Yes, it is from a headcanon on Tumblr and l read it and loved it. The reason why I designed it like this is that I tried to find some clothes for her like:

-a witch hat and has a goth neckless,

-a Vampire cape,

-a stone candy that it's attached on her neckless,

-she has clown makeup on her face exept her lips,

-bones painted on her body,

-has a crow mask behind her back,

-witch reaped dress,

-wolf form

!and fun /sad facts about the Halloween spirit!:

After Halloween, Y/N'ween typically takes a walk in a dark forest and disappears.

When there is a child or a teen that is too scared of going alone to get jumpscares, Y/N'ween will make it less scary and leaves lollipops to feel better.

if selfish parent/s would force their child/ren to steal candies from others. Y/N'ween would give them a thousand of jumpscares till they learn a lesson.

Y/N'ween is actually shy but when you get to meet her she is really outgoing.

Hates it when she is called 'puppy'. mostly from Jack

has ADHD

has a mark that one of the Toothiana's fairies had pinched her thinking Y/n'ween was a threat.

she uses withes magical mop to fly.

Y/n'ween is being misgendered due to her muscular arms and makeup, which happens a lot.

at a Halloween a kid was being laughed at for being a scared cat which angered the teen, this teen started throwing rocks at them then the kids did the same thing to her but a boy threw a rock on her head. It knocked her out and her head started bleeding. The kids were scared and ran off leaving her dying. When Y/n'ween smelled blood she rushed to s find where the blood was coming from and hoping she wasn't too late...

unfortunately she was late....but the moon chose the kid to become her left hand as to help Y/n'ween with celebrating Halloween.

All Y/n designs are free to use EXCEPT!

My personas. AND ADD CREDITS PLS OR I WILL STALK YOU AND ADD HATE ON YOU!!!

[takeiteasyonmeimstilllearning]

hot take on a real life Jigen

I know that Monkey punch modeled Jigen on James Coburn, but hear me out. Robert Mitchum is Jigens spirit animal.

1stly, voice. They have the same timber. (Idk what else to call it) I would definitely say epcar and Mitchum are in the same category. Kobayashi is similar too but he is more animated, going into falsetto and such. I also think if jigen sang he would be baritone and talk-sing his way through lyrics.

2ndly, Mitchum's grumpy old man vibe just radiate Jigen imo.

Mitchum quotes:

They got so they wanted me to take some of my clothes off in the pictures. I objected to this, so I put on some weight and looked like a Bulgarian wrestler when I took my shirt off.

The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I've spent more time in jail.

I gave up being serious about making pictures around the time I made a film with Greer Garson and she took a hundred and twenty-five takes to say no.

[on his acting talents] Listen. I got three expressions: looking left, looking right and looking straight ahead.

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.

When I drop dead and they rush to the drawer, there's going to be nothing in it but a note saying 'later'.

I never take any notice of reviews - unless a critic has thought up some new way of describing me. That old one about my lizard eyes and anteater nose and the way I sleep my way through pictures is so hackneyed now.

Years ago, I saved up a million dollars from acting, a lot of money in those days, and I spent it all on a horse farm in Tucson. Now when I go down there, I look at that place and I realize my whole acting career adds up to a million dollars worth of horse shit.

I never changed anything, except my socks and my underwear. And I never did anything to glorify myself or improve my lot. I took what came and did the best I could with it.

[asked what jail was like] It's like Palm Springs without the riff-raff.

John Wayne had four-inch lifts in his shoes. He had the overheads on his boat accommodated to fit him. He had a special roof put in his station wagon. The son-of-a-bitch, they probably buried him in his goddamn lifts.

There just isn't any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying.

Sure I was glad to see John Wayne win the Oscar. I'm always glad to see the fat lady win the Cadillac on television, too.

I kept the same suit for six years - and the same dialog. We just changed the title of the picture and the leading lady.

[asked why he took on an 18-hour mini-series] It promised a year of free lunches.

How do I keep fit? I lay down a lot.

[1969] How the hell did I get into this picture anyway? I kept reading in the papers that I was going to do it, but when they sent me the script I just tossed it on the heap with the rest of them. But somehow, one Monday morning, here I was. How the hell do these things happen to a man?

[1948] I'm a natural hermit. I've been in constant motion of escape all my life. I never really found the right corner to hide in.

[1968] The Rin Tin Tin method is good enough for me. That dog never worried about motivation or concepts and all that junk.

[on working with Faye Dunaway] When I got here I walked in thinking I was a star and then I found I was supposed to do everything the way she says. Listen, I'm not going to take any temperamental whims from anyone, I just take a long walk and cool off. If I didn't do that, I know I'd wind up dumping her on her derrière.

[asked what he looks for in a script before accepting a job] Days off.

[on Jane Russell] Miss Russell was a very strong character. Very good-humored when she wasn't being cranky.

They think I don't know my lines. That's not true. I'm just too drunk to say 'em.

Look me dead in the eye and Tell me this isn't jigen

[bugslaststraw]

I want to write but I'm having really bad pain and no creativity so I'll just say this; there is something wrong with the Now Now and not a day goes by that I don't think about it at least a bit. Because what was that phase even about? The plot is so intricate. I guess the idea was "let's stick the guy stopping everyone from being their true free selves in jail n see what happens," right? That's about how Hewlett (or was it Albarn) put it. And from Murdoc's pov it's pretty easy to understand; he's jealous, alone, and going through both literal withdrawal and the horrifying realisation that his band doesn't need him. So far so good, right? (block o' text under cut)

Except that really, nobody actually seemed to have a good time during that phase. Or did they? They seem to want to imply it, since they speak vaguely positively. Saying things are calmer and cleaner and quieter now. That should theoretically be a good thing. Only all the songs are so damn sad, even songs that seem happy have some sort of underlying melancholy to them, and when asked why, Russel says "have you ever woken up from a dream to find out it wasn't real?" Speaking of, why did he trip 2-D over in Humility? We were never told. How come Noodle spends half the time worried that 2-D is possessed by something? Are those two reasons related? Are either of those people even relaxing at all? Did they talk about it? And what's with the sketchbook or notebook or whatever, why does that have so many odd scribbles- and the lyrics, he wrote all of them himself. He calls it his solo album when prompted. Why are those scribbled over pictures of Murdoc in there? There's a sketch of what looks like the clip used from Stylo next to the lyrics for Souk Eye. And what does he mean by "where have you gone"? Why does the demon drawn on one page look so much like the thing Murdoc said saved his life? What did all those slogans mean, like "G is the magic number" and "save us from him" and, actually, how did Murdoc even survive to begin with, since he already sold his own soul off and didn't have any convenient virgins to use instead? Why do Russ and 2-D go total radio silence as soon as he's presumed dead, giving no interviews or social media presence or shows or songs or texts for months while Noodle was in Patagonia? Why doesn't she mention them? What were any of them really feeling during the Now Now? What was going on-?? What is this fucking story even trying to say? That you become unbearably cocky if you don't have someone around to hurl insult at you 24/7, I think not? If that was the case why do they all come off like they're hiding some big awful secret the whole time and just pretending to be happy- gods I don't even know anymore fuck this here are some of the well scanned pages I have

[doctorhelena]

I can't believe it's canon that Steve becomes an obsessive workaholic with no self-preservation instinct in every universe where he's separated from Peggy or loses her. Scratch that, I CAN believe it's canon, I'm just deeply concerned for Steve and his 'my wiwwwfie wife is running an espionage agency/saving the world/went through a wormhole and i miss her' work ethic

Good news, I don't think you have to be worried! I'm pretty sure your first instinct, not to believe it's canon, was in fact correct.

Let's examine the Steves we've seen thus far. We have:

1) MCU Steve. Who yes, lost Peggy (twice, once when he was frozen, and once when she died of old age). But, I don't think we can say that his self-sacrificing streak and his not feeling like he can stop working comes from not having Peggy.

a) His self-sacrificing streak showed up well before he even met Peggy in CA:TFA. He was always picking fights he couldn't win, risking serious injury for people he didn't even know (eg. the fight he got into in the alley after telling that guy to shut up at the movies during the newsreel), and he risked jail time by applying to the army using false information, multiple times (after being previously rejected for being medically unfit) because, despite having a ridiculous number of medical reasons why he shouldn't, he wanted to go do his part to fight in Europe against the Nazis.

b) He hadn't only lost Peggy when he woke up nearly 70 years in the future. He'd lost everybody. Almost everybody he'd ever known and loved, every friend, every casual acquaintance, everyone he looked up to, everyone he disliked, EVERYONE. And the very few who were still there (including Peggy) were very old, and maybe, like Peggy, not completely there. The world was very, very different. He'd lost his cultural touchstones. He'd lost his sense of how he fit into the world. He was, quite literally, a man out of time. (And yeah, maybe he could have adjusted better to his new circumstances, but Steve is a very stoic guy, who is the type of person to tell himself that he's not doing so bad, that others have it worse, that he doesn't need help. That he can figure this out on his own, and if he can't, then he might as well keep helping others. And how many other WWII veterans were never quite the same again after the war? Were haunted by their experiences and who found that the world they came back to, their family and friends, had changed too, over the time they were away?) When Steve went back to 1949 at the end of Endgame, he wasn't only going back to Peggy (although of course, yes, he was going back to her), he was going back to an entire world that he'd lost.

2) Hydra Stomper Steve. Yeah, this Steve dealt with the loss of Peggy by teaming up with Bucky to try to wipe out the rest of Hydra. But - so did Bucky. Bucky was with him the whole time, they both put their lives on hold to fight Hydra. And after eliminating the last known Hydra base (the mission on which they believed Steve had died), Bucky moved on, got married, had kids, became Secretary of State (all of which we know happened after Steve was captured, because Steve didn't know that Bucky had settled down until Peggy told him in the What If S2 Winter Soldier episode). But, despite what Steve told Peggy in that episode (that he didn't see much point in "a wife, kids, the whole white picket fence life" if it wasn't with her), we don't know what he would have ended up doing after wiping out Hydra. We, and he, never had the chance to find out.

3) Rogers Hood. Yeah, this Steve was drawn to Captain Carter, another universe's version of his lost Lady Margaret, and she was drawn to him. But I wouldn't say that, before Peggy showed up, he was "an obsessive workaholic with no self-preservation instinct" in this universe. He actually seemed to be having a pretty good time stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, living in a cool treehouse village with his buddies/band of merry men. I guess you can say he lived on the job, but - would you call Robin Hood an "obsessive workaholic"? I wouldn't.

4) Zombie Steve. No real data here. We have no idea what his personality was like before he was zombified (we only know that he was a member of the Avengers).

5) Steve Dressed as Christmas Elf. This guy was a very cheerful version of Steve. Yeah, he looked a little concerned about the soccer moms cornering him, and unknown to him he was about to get socks for Christmas from Tony, but he was really excited that he'd correctly identified Happy Hogan in purple monster form! I don't think there's any real evidence that this particular universe's Steve is "an obsessive workaholic with no self-preservation instinct".

6) President Steve! No real data here either. Okay, I guess leaders of countries are usually workaholics to some degree (well, they are if they take the job seriously, anyway), but we don't know whether this particular Steve has Peggy or not, nor anything about him, really.

7) Steve who was unfrozen by Fury after Hank Pym killed most of the other Avengers (and then who Natasha from the Ultron universe ended up fighting alongside after the Watcher didn't send her back to her own universe at the end of S1). No real data here either: we don't know much about this Steve except that he was fighting on a helicarrier at one point in his life.

In conclusion, I don't see evidence that it's canon in any universe we've seen so far that it's Peggy's absence alone that makes Steve into "an obsessive workaholic with no self-preservation instinct".

And I also don't see evidence that it's canon that Steve is "an obsessive workaholic with no self-preservation instinct" in every universe where he's not with Peggy, either.

It turns out that Steve Rogers is an independent, complicated, three dimensional character whose sense of self-preservation and ability to enjoy life are not, in fact, solely based on whether or not he's with Peggy.

Steve chooses Peggy in many of the universes we've seen him in. But it's a big multiverse. If you would rather see him be happy with someone else, I'm sure it happens! And if you do like him with Peggy, then that happens a lot too, over and over again.

Peggy and Steve love each other. They miss each other when they're apart. But they don't need each other in order to be whole people. (That said, they do choose each other, it seems, whenever they possibly can.)