#i wasn’t gonna post these cus i’ve been annoying enough for one day

[badnewswhatsleft]

(x) :| -> :)

[datawyrms]

Half a Decade Late

Valerie was finally promoted to the main headquarters of the Guys in White. There she finally comes face to face with Phantom, who disappeared five years ago, locked in a cell. For Phic Phight 2021, @lexosaurus' prompt!

Nothing proved ’harder workers get ahead’ was only a capitalist lie than the absolute hassle getting promotions within the GIW. Of course she’d gone right to them for employment, it was the only organization large enough to actually pay people that took her resume of ghost hunting seriously. She had experience, actual knowledge and even her own gear but had still spent years getting jerked around to various small operations, basically just using her to train all their useless recruits while still just considering her a ‘fellow’ field agent. It wasn’t like she had the option to quit in protest, no one else was in the market for ghost hunters. As far as most people knew ‘ghost intelligence’ was just a joke cover story that the agents were very attached to. They didn’t want any more Amity Parks, so if she wanted to live somewhere new and still do her job...these guys were it. She’d been very clear, she wanted to be in the main office, where everything happened. That didn’t stop them from constantly assigning her literally anywhere but the actual headquarters. Maybe they finally ran out of other places, she still half expected to get stopped at the door and be told about a new field mission they absolutely needed her on immediately. It didn’t happen. Valerie Grey finally got to clock in as an Ecto Containment Officer at the main branch. Where they kept the strongest creatures, developed the new anti-ghost equipment and did more than just splattering a ghost down to nothing. Sure, she liked a good ghost obliterating, but it got boring after a while. There were only so many ways a ghost could beg for it’s useless afterlife before it became white noise. It didn’t stop any new ones from showing up, or tell her anything new. Just got rid of one pest, permanently. That wouldn’t help explain some ghosts, the powerful ones that showed up again and again. It wouldn’t explain the one that stopped showing up either. There was no way that life ruining ghost just got ‘bored’ and vanished without notice. It was still out there, plotting something. She just knew it in her bones. She had to be ready for it. There were traces of that ghost, hints of his ectosignature that she came across in the field, he was still out there. The GIW was just a means to an end, she didn’t trust them to be ready alone.

Sterile corridors and simplistic signs were expected, but even the break area was doing its best impression of a frozen tundra. Fantastic for morale? Probably not. Made the coffee pot easy to spot, at least. Even if she preferred to avoid the stuff in uniform. It stained too easily, and just made her wish for her red battle suit. She took a cup to at least have an excuse for her scoping out the place, she could pass it off to someone once she got to the containment area. A quick double check that everything was in place at the mirror before heading right back out to the winding halls. She wasn’t going to be late, she didn’t have time for that. Maybe a red tie was against protocol, but no one had been stupid enough to bother her about it yet. Judging from the deferential nods from her latest coworkers, that wouldn’t be changing. No one who worked here couldn’t know who she was. The only Ghost Hunter who got out of Amity Park without getting corrupted by the ectoplasmic monsters. It was a shame, Jack and Maddie Fenton used to be a serious force for humanity. Five years ago they suddenly flipped the script, denouncing their work and calling for peace with unreasonable fiends. Their daughter Jazz likely had something to do with it, but Valerie had her own theories. Danny, her friend and once boyfriend had gone missing around that time. Leverage to ensure the Fenton’s ‘good behaviour?’ The whole thing reeked of ghosts. To think she might have gone the same way. Back then she was actually listening to the pest, starting to really consider them a ‘good’ ghost. Like that was actually possible, when he’d just been playing to emotion and her own desire to give up in fighting a dangerous foe over and over. So much for that. That monster showed it’s true colours, sure enough. Something the GIW never bothered to look into, even as she wrote report after report about the incident, how unlikely it was for the Fentons of all people to change that drastically without constant possession. Not worth the resources, even when it was easy to see what tech was built on the foundations the couple had laid. They were throwing away so much to focus on little outbreaks of ghosts instead of making more of a lasting change. Stupid. That was what the funding was ‘meant’ to go towards, as if helping the Fentons would be less productive than making a slightly different ectogun.

She almost hoped there would be a problem, just to prove this is where she should have always been.Even if it seemed distinctly unlikely. She had to swipe to get into the lab, then yet again to actually get to the cells. Or the ‘vault’, as if the higher ups wanted to pretend the creatures in there were inert materials instead of cunning and dangerous beings. Even though they had someone posted at each door, and someone on guard inside as well, herself today. To get acquainted with the place mostly, she had more than enough training on ‘proper handling’ procedures.

“Hey, you can swap with me today, if you want.”

Valerie blinked, eyebrow already raised at the posted guard’s suggestion. “I can handle watching caged ghosts.”

They had the sense to look embarrassed, taking their hand away from the oversized ectogun to loosen their tie- which was tied rather poorly now that she got a better look at it. “I’m sure you can, it’s just, well.” They wouldn’t stop fidgeting with their tie now, eyes checking that no one was really paying attention to the guards. “H0G02 is awake today. No one likes those days.”

“Then all the more reason to get used to it early.” She didn’t give them time to sputter another excuse, swiping her card and striding past without another look. As if people should be worried about a captive ghost being awake. Maybe some of the people here never got a spine before joining up.

It wasn’t as cold as she expected it to be. Or as dark. It was actually brighter, thanks to the extra row of fluorescent lights. On some level she expected the room to reflect the monsters kept here, a shadowy icebox of a space. Of course it wasn’t. These were defeated creatures under human control, of course their cages would be bright and clean, the air warmed for human comfort. The ghosts might not like it, but why care what they wanted? It wasn’t like there were many to begin with, mostly green oversized vermin with blank red eyes. Most had the sense to cower back as she walked past, but a fair few didn’t even twitch. Calling a ghost of all things lifeless was foolish, but it was the only word coming to mind...she had to focus. She didn’t pity these things. Why so many creatures though? The real dangerous ones, the most monstrous ones were the ones that could play human, the ones that had conniving minds that only worked to cause destruction and terror. These were just feral things, annoying but hardly more impressive than a coyote when you knew what to do. Half of them she’d barely rate above ‘feral cat’. A light near the back flickered. Strange. When it flickered a second time she was already releasing her helmet to pull it on. Not nearly as easy as just willing it on, but at least she could carry it in a pocket without needing to rely on some ghost’s power. Three steps and her gun was ready, not that she expected to need it. Really, she worked on autopilot, legs still moving as she stared at the largest glass cage at the back of the room. Or more accurately, at what was in it.

“Oh, newbie. ‘Sup.” The ghost rasped out, blank green eyes watching the ghost hunter. A teenaged boy with a shock of white hair, a black jumpsuit, but the voice of a seventy year old chain smoker. Just sitting in a painfully bright cell, watching. Not exactly as she remembered him, but close enough.

“You.” The disgust was easy to voice, even as her brain struggled to catch up. He was here? Looking practically exactly as he had when she was still a soft hearted freelancer?

He only gave a sputtering laugh at the aggression. “Me? You’re not that mad about the light, are you? I’m bored, Tie.”

“What are you doing here?” That wasn’t the important question really, she should be more concerned that he apparently was able to manipulate light fixtures from his cell...but she’d been hunting after this ghost for five years. Protocol could go shove itself up the director’s ass.

“Same thing I do every day Tie, being some government property!” His laugh was wrong, not from amusement like she remembered. A desperate cackle that didn’t fool anyone. “You new enough to still have your soul in there?”

“Answer the question, Phantom.”

The smirk slid off the ghost’s face. “Wh’ad you call me? Like I’m only calling you Tie cus the red sticks out, I can call you Shooty if you don’t like it, newbie.”

The response made her insides run cold. It had to be Phantom, and the terrible sense of humour was just like him- but the ghost wasn’t quite right. What was this? It couldn’t be some copy of the ghost kid, could it? “I called you by your name, ghost.”

“Never heard of em.” The ghost crossed his legs and looked away, apparently bored of the person holding a weapon. “What day is it?”

Surely he was playing around. “What do you think your name is, then?”

He didn’t take his attention off the ceiling, looking more bored than anything.“Day first, Tie. Gotta know how much of a head start I’ve got.”

“Like you’re in any position to bargain.”

“Hm? Whatcha gonna do Tie? Let me be unconscious for a few hours? Scary. Day first.”

There was the Phantom she knew, snide and sarcastic when he really had no business being so. “I could do worse than that.”

“Doubt it. You gun grunts gotta listen to the freaks out there, remember?” His shoulders shook with a silent laughter, but it looked more like spasms. “No more mishandling the goods, yeah? Day Tie, comeonnnnnn”

Since when was he so interested in the calendar? Not to mention how weird it was how he kept referring to himself...and pretending he didn’t know his name. “It’s Monday.”

That got his attention, the casual rocking halting as he looked at her again, disturbingly still. “Monday, really?”

“Lying is your thing, not mine.”

He grinned. “I like you Tie, so you’ll probably be fired in like a week. Maybe it’s the red.” The tension left the ghost completely, she hadn’t even noticed how stiffly he’d been sitting until his spine relaxed as his elbows rested on his legs. “Pretty sure I’m H0G02. Least that’s what all your creeps call me.”

There was no way Phantom of all ghosts would call himself ‘H0G02’. He had to be a mimic of some sort, a ghost that modelled himself on the once well known Amity Park menace. “You like me because I told you it was Monday? Seriously?”

“I like the Mondays more than you, if that helps.”

“Not particularly.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” He was watching her again, more curious than anything. She shouldn’t be glad to see a spark of something in those eyes, but he was far less creepy this way.

“What’s so great about Monday? You’re a ghost.” She didn’t really care. She should be asking important questions. She was just...playing along to see if it really was Phantom. That didn’t stop her for being grateful for the helmet.

“Monday is the farthest day away from Friday.”

“Wouldn’t that be Saturday?”

“It hasn’t been Saturday or Sunday for...like four years? Those days don’t exist, I think you humans made ‘em up to prank me.” Phantom shrugged, sounding completely serious. Not even a hint of amusement or a grin. “Pretty good one, all you new guys keep it up.”

He was going to be completely useless if he kept saying nonsense. How could he be useful in finding out what happened to the Fenton’s son if he couldn’t even talk about the days of the week sensibly? “Fine, what’s so bad about Friday then.”

“Ohhhhh, you’re really new, Tie.” the ghost flopped onto his side, bored of sitting up apparently. “You know, the day they keep me around for? That day.” He wasn’t quite still, his right shoulder moving very, very carefully. Hiding something.

She didn’t have the patience for this.“What are you hiding there.”

“Tie has good eyes. Gotta remember that.” Phantom muttered, getting onto his back, a blue shard of ice melting off his arm.

“You don’t really think that some ice would help you out of there?”

“Out?” He looked mystified by the suggestion, but that could more be seeing his face upside down. “That glass doesn’t break for anything, I should know.”

Which didn’t explain why he’d been trying to hide the fact he’d made ice at all. He knew it too, but apparently playing stupid was still one of his favourite tactics. “Knock it off and just answer me.”

Phantom’s frown didn’t change, green eyes staring intently at her helmet as if hoping to see through it. “I could show you why?”

It didn’t sound like a threat. “Sure, why not. It’s gonna be a long day.” If it was? Then she’d show him that she wasn’t someone he could mess with.

Ice wrapped itself around the ghost’s lower arm alarmingly quick, a wickedly sharp blade of ice with serrated teeth jutting from the scrawny arm at an awkward angle. It was practised, something this ghost must have done often in all the time he’d been gone from her life. Yet it was so different from how Phantom usually chose to fight. That was a weapon to tear and maim, not to shock, stun or bruise. It looked wrong on him. The idea that this ghost wasn’t Phantom at all only grew more credible with that thing on his arm, even if ice powers were to be expected. His eyes flicked back to green, still fixated on her as he lifted the arm and stabbed down hard. Right into his other arm. Didn’t even blink.

“What are you doing!” She couldn’t remember the last time Phantom had ever been frightening on some primal level. This- with the disturbing snap of bone as the edges of the blade caught and tore made her hair stand on end. “Stop that, Phantom. What’s wrong with you!?”

“Cancelling Friday.” Phantom was laughing as the blade melted away into the pool of green rapidly spreading from his self inflicted wound. “I said you’d probably get fired Tie.”

“Forget Friday you idiot, cover the wound so you stop splattering everywhere!” He was just a ghost-a ghost messing with her. A ghost she’d fought with and had heard scream in pain. This...thing wasn’t him. Her heart didn’t care what her mind thought, insisting he needed help.

The ghost sat up, his left arm holding on by a shred of his suit before splattering into the puddle, but the left behind stump stopped dripping almost as quickly as he’d lost the limb. “Aw. Maybe Tie does have some soul left. You actually sound worried.”

“Of course I am! You slashed your arm off!”

“So?”

He didn’t seem to be in pain. If it wasn’t for the mess of green and the lack of a limb, she’d almost say she imagined it. Why did she care? “You wouldn’t do this sort of thing.”

“Uh. Yes I would? You just saw me do it. I’m down for an encore.”

The idea just made her feel ill. “Don’t.” Did she want this to be Phantom or not? “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Well I’m down an arm. So the coats are going to be very whiny about how much ectoplasm they can get out of me.”

“You must have felt that.”

“Sure. Isn’t nearly as bad as when they start ripping as much ectoplasm as they can out of you. Every single Friday.” He actually rolled his eyes, like she should just know this.

Why did they bother keeping Phantom around if they just wanted ectoplasm? He might be strong, but no ghost had limitless amounts. They’d just fall apart and stop existing. That’s why the weakest ones never even left the Ghost Zone, they couldn’t survive without constantly being around the stuff! “What makes you so special then? Not your attitude.”

“I’m just lucky enough to make my own ectoplasm. Who knew food was easier to get then high grade ectoplasm? Not me.” His remaining arm pointed to her weapon, his smile stretching. “Bet ya your weapon’s fully powered from Fridays. Yours and every other thing they use in this hellhole.”

“Ghosts can’t do that.” The lie was absurd. It went against everything they knew about ghosts, even before food entered the equation.

“Y’know, Tie. I think I knew a ghost hunter that wore red once.” the ghost’s eyes went unfocused, unmoving as he looked listlessly into space. “It’s a good colour.”

“You knew me. Quit fooling around with this not remembering crap.” Valerie threw her helmet aside, no longer caring. She had to know who this ghost really was. She had to know if everything he was blathering about was a lie. So what if it wasn’t ‘safe’.

His eyes didn’t change. “Y’know how hard it is to remake a brain? Cut me some slack Tie…”

“I mean it. Look at me Phantom. If you’re the ghost I know, you can stop pretending to be something else.”

“You lose the details. Arms and legs are easy. The brain though? Way too hard.” He kept rambling to himself, not reacting even as she put a hand to the glass to get his attention. “Y’know how many times they’ve cut it open? I don’t. I lose track after like. Eleven. Maybe. Pointy Shoe said my best was fifteen but I sure don’t remember that.”

She wanted him to just stop talking. She wanted this ghost to be some strange creature she didn’t know. To not have the only possible link to someone long lost a shattered husk. “Phantom. Do you remember the hunter in red’s name?”

He finally blinked. “I’m not this Phantom guy, Tie.”

“Okay, whatever, forget that part. The ghost hunter in red, what do you remember?” She insisted, knocking again in hopes it would keep the ghost’s focus.

“Wish I’d told em something.” he held up his gloved hand as she opened her mouth to speak. “Don’t remember what that something was, don’t ask.”

So he was Phantom? He couldn’t be. That was so non-specific it could be anything. “You never explained how you’re the only ghost that can make their own ectoplasm.”

“It’s in my name Tie! Come on. Thought you guys were smart or whatever.” He did a very awkward one armed attempt at crossing it, eyebrow raised. “The H? The feeding a ghost food thing?”

She didn’t really get the whole naming scheme they used here. The fact it mattered wasn’t making her gut unclench either. “What about the H?

“Hybrid? Might have been Human. That might have been a joke.”

Valarie’s mouth was drier than any desert when he said it that easily, that casualty while kicking his own arm aside. “You’re saying you aren’t all ghost.”

“Yup. Not yet! Trust me, I’ve tried,” the bubbly high pitched laugher clawed out of the ghost at that. “I tried so much. Guess it’s another thing I’m a failure at, eh Tie?”

Something told her not to ask. She had to know. Five years she waited, five years apparently knocked Phantom clear from reality.“Does Danny Fenton mean anything to you?”

He just laughed harder at the question. “Really Tie?”

“Yes, really.”

“That’s the name I scream at em. Don’t know why. Feels good though.”

“Is it your name?” Had he had contact with Danny? Been part of whatever made him go missing from everyone’s lives? He couldn’t be, there was no way.

“They get reallllll angry when I say it is.”

There was no way the GIW had a human captive for five years. There was no way Phantom could be the Danny she knew. The ghost was just lying. He had to be, she desperately needed him to be. “Were you fused with a human or something? Got stuck when possessing someone?”

“Nah. Been like this before I got here, pretty sure. You can check your fancy gear though. There’s some non-ghost DNA in it. Lucky lucky me,” he lay back down in the mess of ectoplasm, ignoring how it clung to his hair. “Thanks for the Friday off! I hate those.”

There was no reason to need air. Talking to a ghost she didn’t even like shouldn’t make her feel like she was being crushed under a boulder. Panting for air, outside the room would make her look pathetic and weak, but she needed the space, needed to be away from that...mockery of a ghost.

“He does that to everyone. He’ll repeat the whole thing in a week or so, but he’s a really good copy the first time you see it.” The guard gave a comforting word, apparently unsurprised by her sudden unscheduled departure.

Oh, there would be no ‘next time.’ Not if he was right about her weapon. But she nodded instead, letting her ‘coworker’ think she was just overwhelmed. Even if all she could think of was how many ways this place would burn if that ghost- that thing had been a human once. She was good at telling when ghosts lied. Phantom didn’t sound like he had. No matter how much she tried to convince herself he did.

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

here we are, folks, mama's gonna write another one of these things so sit down and enjoy some post-hoco peter starts to fall for mj shits

sigh why do i even bother

Caught Stealing

Peter likes to think he's been doing pretty good at this whole superhero thing for quite a while now; saving people, giving directions, catching thieves. Things have been going pretty great.

But the one thief he didn't expect to show up on his radar was one that didn't even show up when he was in spidey-mode, oh no, this one showed up when he was regular ol' peter parker for crying out loud. Just one day at another one of these acadec meetings, Peter Parker saw MJ try to steal a glance at him while he was on a call with Happy, and his brain was left on buffer for the rest of the call, the meeting, and pretty much the entire week after.

"Hey, Ned, hav you ever seen MJ like... look at me?" Peter asks Ned in the cafeteria while MJ wasn't there yet (he's brave enough to go through flames with a broken leg to save Liz's supervillain dad but hell if he's brave enough to talk about a potential crush just mere feet near said crush).

"Yes," answered Ned without even looking, and just continued eating his tuna sandwich lunch.

"What!?" Peter exclaims slightly loudly making him take a look around him to see if anyone (MJ) might have noticed. To his relief, no one did what with all the conversations happening in the cafeteria and MJ still wasn't there. "When were you going to tell me?"

Ned swallows the bite he just took, "I thought you did know."

"Well, clearly I didn't. I've been pretty busy with ~something~ as you know."

"Pfftt yeah and you were also crushing pretty hard on Liz if I can also recall."

"Okay, okay fine whatever, we've already established I've been busy. I just- how long have you known? Or how long have you noticed it was going on?"

"You seriously haven't noticed?" Ned asks genuinely a bit shocked that Peter didn't know.

"Dude, I'm telling you I haven't-" Peter repeats for the nth time, frustrated he still doesn't know how long this has been going on. "How long?"

Ned lets out a chuckle of disbelief, "Pretty much since halfway through freshman year, bro. Wow, I can't believe you really haven't noticed. Some Peter-tingle you've got there."

Peter lets out a huff of frustration, "It doesn't work that way. And ugh can you please not call it the Peter-tingle? I already get enough of that from Aunt May."

Ned turns his hands up in defeat and just proceeds to continue eating his lunch again.

"I can't believe this, has it really been going on for that-"

"Hey, losers," MJ greets to their table, finally showing up to their usual spot.

"MJ!" Peter almost shouts from shock. Man, Ned might be right, his (ugh) Peter-tingle just wasn't working right now.

MJ snorts from Peter's reaction, "Yes, Peter, it is me, MJ, the girl who's been sitting next to you guys for the better part of a year now,' MJ mock explains. "You doing okay there, Pete?" MJ asks finally taking a seat.

"Yeah, yeah, just a bit jumpy, I guess..."

"Alright, whatever. What can't you believe has been going on for that long?"

"What?"

"When I got here, you were saying you can't believe it's been going on for that long. What has?"

Peter looks to Ned in a panic and he blurts out "Spiders!" in response, making Peter face palm himself on the table.

"Spiders?" MJ still asks, being what Ned said did nothing to explain anything.

"Yeah... Peter's had this really intense phobia of them ever since we went on that fieldtrip. He accidentally slipped in the bathroom this morning cause he saw a spider and he couldn't believe he still hasn't gotten over his phobia," Ned explains lies so casually, but by the end of it sighs and gives Peter a not really that subtle thumbs up.

Peter on the other hand is semi-frustrated over having to lie to MJ about TWO things in his life now and the fact that his best friend just made him seem like a scaredy cat that actually slips in the bathroom from seeing a spider. His frustration doesn't last though cause he's just waiting to see if MJ actually buys Ned's load of spider phobia bs.

"Oh, okay-" MJ thinks about how they were probably talking about spider-man things before she came but decides to just go along with their excuse and thinks about a possible cause of the phobia on the very highly unlikely (at least in her opinion) chance that Ned was actually telling the truth, remembering Peter's uncle dying just a few weeks after the fieldtrip and feeling bad for Pete so she offers up a solution or maybe just something to comfort him.

"You know, they say that to get rid of a phobia, exposure therapy works, so maybe it'll make you feel better to know that humans swallow up to like 10 spiders in an entire year," MJ jokes a bit awkwardly and pointedly that she just proceeded to eat her meal after finishing her sentence.

It makes Peter chuckle for a bit though so MJ releases that breath she didn't know she was holding and continues to avert her eyes to her meal and just continue eating.

"Wow, MJ yeah sure, nothing'll make me feel better like knowing there's probably like hundreds of tiny spiders inside me right now," Peter remarks sarcastically making MJ laugh as he fake shivers.

"Glad I could help," MJ winks and then averts her eyes again to get her book so she could read while eating, signalling she was ready for this convo to end (she wasn't going to be able to talk after what she can't believe she just did).

And Peter's kinda glad she does end it because holy sh- did, did MJ really just wink at him right now? Did that just happen?

Peter looks to Ned for confirmation who could only shrug in response being just as unsure about what to make of it as well.

Wondering what the hell just happened is the last thought circling inside Peter's brain while Ned just changes the subject to something else that didn't even register to Peter.

MJ may actually ACTUALLY like him, and Peter doesn't have a single clue what to do about it.

Nothing as it turns out, cause as the rest of the week passes without fanfare, it seems like Peter's finally regaining his sanity again as he thinks that maybe MJ looking at him was just MJ being MJ and he goes back to thinking of MJ as his friend and not the smart funny pretty girl who might have a crush on him, which she doesn't.

Until, yet again, Happy interrupts Peter at this week's acadec meeting and he steps outside to take the call.

"What, Happy? I told you I was busy during saturdays with acadec, what do you want?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was talking to Mr. Bigshot here. You know, I started on Stark Industries as a dri-"

And with that, Peter just proceeded to wince and hit himself with his phone, knowing he just made this phone call twice as long as what it probably would have been. He starts to just block out what Happy is saying and takes a peek at what he's missing at acadec.

Flash is asleep at the sidelines, must have been that party Peter saw he was having posted and streamed all over social media, it was so annoying. Ned, Cindy, Sally, and Abe were all on a roll tossing out answers back to back, Eddie was blanking and swearing the answer was at the tip of his tongue, and MJ as usual, was running the drills.

Yet again, Peter was thinking about how wonky his brain must have been to actually think that MJ, don't give an f what anyone thinks acadec team cap MJ, actually liked him.

But it seemed Peter must have been staring for too long because MJ noticed and glanced at him too, making Peter panic and immediately avert his eyes to a different direction, any direction at that. God, why was he this awkward?

But god help Peter Parker who must just be an awkwardness masochist because he couldn't help but just sneak a peek once again, only to see MJ was still looking at him and he must have had some ridiculous shocked expression on his face because the slightest grin started to appear on MJ's face and she looked away with almost- was that- A BLUSH?? a blushing expression on her face??? did that? she just? whattttt????

But before Peter could even get himself together, MJ looked back at him again only to grin over the fact Peter was still looking at her and roll her eyes over how ridiculous this wordless convo they were having across the room was, that she just snickered and gave a silent hi and subtle wave hidden from their team mates just below the podium.

Peter found himself grinning like an idiot too and could only give one awestruck wave which made MJ snicker and avert her eyes back to their team mates with a barely noticable flush on her face and a blink and you'll miss it, moment where MJ had to think about what she was saying before she and Peter began this cutely wordless reparte across the room.

MJ had to think about what she was going to say. Cool, suave, witty retorts and comebacks MJ seemed to have a moment of speechlessness.

okay.

And so as Peter could only hear a faint "Peter? Peter, are you still listening to me?" from his phone, he knew that he was absolutely, one hundred percent without a single doubt in his mind, truly, and utterly, fucked.

Maybe MJ wasn't the only one who had a crush.

heeyy yooeesss i missed writing mah anxious boi's pov yallssss. i miss writing for them in general huhu. also im probs gonna write a bunch more of these how they fell for each other fics cus i think this version of em/phase of their relationship is pretty underrated hehe

plus i still cant get over ffh pj disapproval so fine i'll just write the middle man fics myself then. it's just so easy to see how pete could fall for mj, i just cant

toot toot and i hope yalls enjoyed dis folks. it's good to be back. rlly missed em, ya know?

[jay-bee-me]

Hey guys!

Here is my special for 100 followers! (in the meantime we reached 114!!! Thank you guys)

Like @emo-bi-mess requested it turned out to be a creepy pasta I wrote on my own. It contains topics like death, hallucinations and mental illness. If you don't want to read it that's absolutely okay and I don't want anyone to read it when you don't want to. I gonna tag it with as much warnings as I can...

But now starts the creepy pasta:

I sank into the mattress of my bed. I was to lazy to switch of the light and grabbed my phone to scroll through my Tumblr dash. Most things I've already seen. Suddenly it told me to upload my dash to see new posts and I did so. The first two or three posts were some I already rebloged from other blogs. Then there was one if these posts saying if you don't reblog this in the next 10 seconds you will be haunted forever. I rolled my eyes. I've seen hundreds of these posts already - 3 alone this day. I usually reblog most of because they're fun and sometimes they say positive things like that you will get creativity from them. I knew they're all made up but nonetheless I liked the idea of being blessed. But this time I was feeling to lazy to hit the reblog button. Alsoi didn't wanted to reblog the forth of these posts today to annoy my followers. So I scrolled past it and saw some comics and fanart. Some so inspiring I rebloged them. When I took a look at the clock in my smartphone it says it was already 1 am. I decides to sleep and put my phone away. I changed my clothes, brushed my teeth and switched the light off. In the dark I found the way to my bed and snuggled in the blankets. It was darker than I thought because clouds were covering the sky. I stared into the shadows and thought I saw something but it was just my mind playing me a trick I told me. I had to grin at my own childish fear. I sank into a deep dream less sleep.

I sat up. Shit. There were noises. I could swear I heard someone running upstairs. The light and fast steps on the wooden stairs. Something was at my floor. I cursed softly. My parents were on vacation. I only was here because they asked me to watch after the pets. Since I've grown up with them I agreed immediately. Shit. Someone must have broken in. But why hadn't Buddy barked? He usually barks as soon as someone steps on the path leading to the house. I wished he or one of the cats were with me. I wasn't sure if I should turn on the lights or not. A thief may would avoid this room or even left the house if I did so. But a murderer would know immediately where to go. I stared into the darkness to the place I assumed the door must be. I heard a loud rumble. What the hell was that? Who was that?! Cold sweat was running down my neck and back. I saw the outlines of the room more clear now. Adrenaline must be running through my veins. Another rumble. And then a painful animalistic scream. Buddy! I gasped. I looked around the room to find anything to defend myself and the pets. I saw no then in the shadows. Nothing but a movement. I froze. That can't be. It must be another trick. Induced by panic and the circumstances. But... But it wasn't. Something was moving in the shadows. Crawling. Feverish I searched for something to defense myself. But there was nothing. Then the Thing came outta the shadows. It was big and suddenly I saw it eyes. Red glooming balls. With pupils as dark as nothingness. It was staring at me. At my eyes. At my soul. It felt like it could see everything I've ever done and not done and am going to do. I was trembling. It came closer. Every step sounds like a door was slammed shut. I wasn't able to move. It groaned. When it opened its mouth it reveals several rows of teeth. Each the length of my forearm. It stopped 50cm in front of me and began to laugh. It was a horrific mocking laugh. The sort that gives one goosebumps and panic attacks. I smelled its odor of rotton flesh and death. Then it whispered four words: I will come back. The next moment it vanished.

I sat on my bed till dawn arose. Scared. Frightened. When the first sunbeams lightened up the room I stand up. When I opened the door I cried out. In front of me laid the corpse of what once must have been my dog. Its spine was ripped out and his throat cut open. His dead eyes were staring at me. I sobbed but I wasn't able to touch him. Trembling I went downstairs and was glad when I saw the two cats were still alive. I didn't knew what to do. My parents won't come back soon. I went to the kitchen sink and filled a glass with water and drank it. I wiped off the tears that were running down my cheeks but it didn't helped. My face stayed wet. I cued up on the sofa. The cats pressed their warm body against me. We stayed that way till dusk came.

I was back in my room. I haven't eaten all day and was surprised I got to went back into my room. Ignoring the corpse in front of it. The cats were with me. The last glimpse of the sun vanished and the sky turned from blue to black. I felt numb. I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep but nothing happened. I didn't had any tears left to cry and so laid silent in the dark. Then I sensed something. I couldn't identify it properly but it felt like something entered the room. Though I was pretty sure the door stood shut. My heard beats faster. I opened my eyes and tried figuring out what was it. I remembered the words the creature said last night:I will come back.

I stared in the shadows. And there was it again. A movement. The cats woke up and began to hiss at whatever the thing was. But to my surprise the thing came closer. The cats got in its way to me and their courage to protect me nearly broke my heart. Then the thing take a further step and- and snapped of their heads. I screamed. Their bodies collapsed. Then the creature turned at me and hissed: I will return once more.

With these words it vanished.

I noticed I was completely alone now in this house. Only now the thought crossed my mind I should have called my parents. But otherwise how should I explain them all of that on the phone? I decided to wait for their return tomorrow.

I somehow sensed I would be the next to be killed. So I considered to prepare myself. I took several knifes from the kitchen and put them under my pillow. Then I placed some knives at other places so I would have weapons if I had to flee in the house. Only then I thought about what would happen if would have just left the house. But no this wasn't an option. It would have followed me and harmed even more than it had already. I sensed it.

When I was ready I sat down on the sofa. Waiting for the night. Suddenly I asked myself why all of this happens to me. And I wondered it took me so long to ask this. I tried to remember what I did on that evening before the horror began. But I only remembered being on Tumblr. Then I remembered and the shock almost paralyzed me. There was that post. That post I avoided to reblog. That dumb little post that was meant to mean nothing. I heard myself cursing. But all of this couldnt just happen because one silly post? I didn't want this to be the truth. I took a look out of the window. The sun almost vanished. I ran upstairs, jumping over the corpses of the ones I was supposed to take care of. I hadn't slept since the first attack neither did I eat and I only drank a bit.

I was sitting on my bed. Waiting for the shadows to move. I waited and waited. My body went stiff and I waited. Nervously I glanced at my alarm clock. It said it was 5am. I waited more than 8 hours. But I continued staring in the dark. Then finally something moved. I grabbed one of the knives and as soon as the creature was close enough I stabbed it. But it only laughed. I stabbed it again and again. Then I felt it teeth closing around me and I screamed.

News report

On April 16th the Smiths returned from their trip. What they found when they arrived was horrible. Their daughter, that was supposed to watch for their pets, had some kind of hallucinations and stabbed down the pets and a neighbor that wanted to help. She is now in a clinic and gets medical care. The daughter claims that a creature from a Tumblr post were the one doing all her horrific deeds...

Thanks to everyone who read it! Sorry for spelling / grammar mistakes...

[rambling-at-midnight]

Don’t You Believe Me?

Request: Could you write a klaus imagine where it’s a couple years post-canon. the reader has been pining for him for ages but swallows it cus they don’t believe he returns their feelings. when he tells them that he loves them they’re just like “lmao sure” cus all of their friends and partners have left them and no one has ever loved them enough to stay so they don’t believe him. They aren’t like sad about it either, just resigned and making light of it to deal with how much it hurts to not be wanted.

Pairing: Klaus x Reader (Oneshot)

“He’s probably lying, though,” you mutter to yourself, chewing on your thumbnail as you pace around your small room, bare feet sinking into Emily’s plush carpet with every step. Your phone is in your hand, screen glowing as it displays the nine-word text that’s causing you so much anxiety. When the screen dims, you tap it again. You just need to look at the text in order to get a feel for it.

“What does he have to gain from lying to you?” your roommate, Emily, asks from where she’s laying on her stomach on her bed. Her hair is curled perfectly and her clothes are fashionable and look cute. You don’t know how she does it. You always look terrible no matter how hard you try and your hair can’t hold a curl to save your life. It’s especially impressive considering how just yesterday she’d been bawling her eyes out.

“He could humiliate me!” you exclaim, your voice loud. Someone in the hall down yells to shut up, which in turn makes other people yell at them, until everyone’s yelling and then it lapses into stony, brooding silence. You hiss, “He could be saying it to stand me up or something!”

“Y/N, we’re not in middle school anymore,” Emily responds. “Trust me, no one’s going to be putting in this much effort in order to stand you up.”

“I don’t know,” you say, your phone screen dimming once more. You tap the screen and accidentally on the new message, which means now Charles will be able to see that you’ve opened up the text. “Shit!” You drop your phone like a hot potato. The offending text glares up at you: You know, you’re actually rly cute. Wanna meet up?

“Haven’t you guys been talking for, like, weeks?” Emily asks, blowing a large bubble and sending her friend a SnapChat. “Yeah, trust me, guys like that lose interest after three days on average.” She should know; she did an actual study on the habits of boys and girls when talking to people on instant messaging, and if the male isn’t interested he apparently gives up after three days. You guess she hadn’t studied how many guys cheat on their girlfriends or she wouldn’t have started dating her boyfriend, but she hardly looks worse for the wear.

“What about the outliers?” you ask miserably. Charles is active on Instagram right now, which means he’s probably waiting for your response. He’s seen that you’ve seen it. He might be getting annoyed that you’re taking too long. He might be laughing with his friends about how they’re guessing you’re freaking out.

“The most extreme outlier was a week, Y/N,” Emily says not-so-patiently. She’s normally pretty good at handling you when you’re like this, but recently she found out her boyfriend’s been cheating on her, and she had to pull an allnighter last night to study for her Calculus quiz. Now she’s plotting her revenge on the cheating Michael. “Trust me. Nobody even finds that all that entertaining, anyway. You’re not going to get stood up.”

Your phone screen hasn’t even turned off before you decide, “No, I’m canceling it. Nope. Nope. I’m blocking him.”

“Y/N!” Emily jerks her head up to look at you, brown eyes widening with horror, but you’ve already done it. Her voice is surprisingly shrill when she exclaims againn, “Y/N!”

“Shut up!” somebody yells again, followed by multiple people shushing them.

“Oh, jeez,” you say, your hands shaking as you shove your phone in your pocket. “Nope, nope, nope. Did not like that.”

“You’re pathetic,” Emily sighs, shaking her head. “He was cute. He seemed sweet. You’re just being crazy.”

“I’m sorry, are you standing up for boys in general now?” you ask, putting your hands on your hips. “Last time I checked, your boyfriend’s a douche.”

“First of all, no, I wasn’t talking about all boys, just Charles. He seemed nice. Second of all,” Emily glares at you, “low blow, dude.”

“Sorry,” you groan, dragging a hand down your face. “I’m just… not good at this.”

“You just need to get over him,” Emily says, standing up. She puts a perfectly manicured hand on your arm and crinkles her brow at you. “Trust me. Pining over Klaus for eternity isn’t going to make you feel any better. Rebound dudes are the absolute best to date, because everything they do feels so crazy amazing!” She’s already got her rebound dude from Michael picked out.

“I know,” you insist, folding your arms. “I’m getting over him. It’s just… I had a bad feeling about Charles,” you invent wildly.

Emily crosses her arms and raises one skeptical eyebrow. “Mmm-hmm, sure.”

“What about you?” you ask, sitting down heavily on your bed and wiping your phone screen on your jean pants. “What are you thinking for Michael?”

“Honestly, I was thinking about cutting three inches off my hair and posting a selfie with the caption ‘Not gonna miss those three inches, Mike’.” Emily flips her hair over her shoulder and sends another photo to a friend. “What do you think?”

You laugh. “That sounds really funny. I’ll be the first to like it.”

“Honestly, now I think about it, why’d I stay with a guy that barely hits four inches?” she muses, tapping her chin with her pointer finger.

“I believe I asked you that when you started dating him,” you mutter. “And you responded that he was sweet.”

“Character is out,” Emily decides. “The length of the dick is all that matters now, as long as he’s not a total asshole and, like, a wifebeater.”

“As you do,” you nod.

It was the whole ‘your boyfriend’s a douche’ comment, you’re sure of it.

Emily has moved out of the room you shared together.

It’s not like you weren’t expecting it, either; since when has anyone ever wanted anything to do with you? Your own parents abandoned you and when you tried to track them down, they had another little girl and were not interested in talking to you. The rare times you’ve gotten a boyfriend he’d dumped you quickly, unable to handle your fears of abandonment.

Even the goddamn cat you adopted from the shelter ran away.

So no. You’re the opposite of a magnet. Nobody ever wants to be with you. They don’t even want to be in the same room as you.

Your phone buzzes. It’s Klaus Hargreeves, your oldest friend, and you’re trying to calculate how long it’ll be until he leaves you too. Everyone else has. It’s only a matter of time.

Klaus: Hey, Y/N, wanna come over? I’ve got a surprise for you!

Honestly, you’re surprised he’s texted you. He hasn’t in the last three days, which frankly isn’t very unusual for him, but your anxieties are in overdrive and have been since coming home and seeing the ‘Goodbye’ note on the door.

‘Y/N, I’m going to be living with some other friends for the rest of the semester.’

Translation: I’m finally ditching you for my better friends.

‘No hard feelings, right?’

Translation: I’m trying to be as polite as possible, don’t get mad at me for ditching you, you loser.

‘I’ll still see you around!’

Translation: But only in passing; don’t try to talk to me in public.

‘—Emily’

Translation: You were super fucking annoying. Thank God I’m out.

Within seconds, you text Klaus back, saying, What time? And what sort of surprise?

You good to come over like rn?

You don’t have any other classes for the rest of the day, and though you have an essay to write, you can do it when you come home later or tomorrow.

Yeah, sure, I’m on my way, you text back and slip on a pair of shoes before hurrying out the door. On the bright side, you won’t be able to get into any loud conversations and get yelled at anymore. You’re pretty sure the rest of the hall hates you and Emily for occasionally shrieking the most.

Come to my bedroom when you get here ;), Klaus sends you, and you have to stifle a grin. Maybe his teasing is what made you fall for him initially, and the way he’s so carefree. It hurts a little bit, though, whenever he makes a joke about being with you. You know you’re not even an option, but still.

Like Emily had said. You need to get over Klaus. Maybe you should have told him you had to write the essay, but…

It’s too late now for that. Plus, Klaus may get annoyed if you cancel plans with him and not want to hang out with you later on.

The Umbrella Academy mansion is quiet when you push open the doors. Grace must be cleaning elsewhere, and Pogo must be doing… whatever Pogo does when he’s not taking care of the kids. You barely even notice your extravagant surroundings anymore; far too used to them after visiting Klaus whenever you’re worried he’s OD’d on drugs or whenever he’s a little less high and wants to hang out.

Nothing’s changed when you see Klaus’s room. Well, things have definitely changed; there are balloons around the doorway like he’s celebrating something, but that’s just Klaus fashion. For all you know, he could be celebrating something—maybe this is his anniversary of getting addicted to drugs or something like that. Something like that would kill you a little bit to see happen, as it would kill all his siblings, but Klaus is just like that.

And you really do love him.

You push open the door cautiously, half-expecting him to throw something at you as a prank, but all that greets you is Klaus standing in the middle of his room, exclaiming happily upon seeing you.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You can’t respond. You have to take it all in for a second.

For one thing, his curtains aren’t drawn for once to keep the sun from hurting his hangover headache. For another thing, he’s shaved and cut his hair a little bit. The last thing that really stands out to you is that he’s wearing color. In all your life, you’ve never seen Klaus wear any color apart from that pink feather boa, but he’s wearing a tie-dye tank top and loose green cargo pants.

You laugh a little hesitantly, stepping into the room and looking around. He’s certainly seemed to embrace the color; confetti’s everywhere. “What’s going on, Klaus?”

“I’m sober,” he beams, holding up his arms. “Ta-da!”

You’re speechless.

“I know it’s taken me a long time,” he continues, “and I’m really glad you’ve helped me through all the years. But I’m sober and I’m planning on staying sober for the rest of my life. Ben’s helping me realize that I can’t just drink away my problems, you know?”

“Are you serious?” you manage to squeak out.

Klaus nods.

You squeal and launch yourself across the room, latching onto Klaus like a koala. “Klaus, I cannot believe it! Why didn’t you tell me you were getting sober?”

“I didn’t wanna let you down if I couldn’t,” he mutters, squeezing you so tightly you can’t breathe for a second. “And I was planning something.”

“What?” You pull away from him, already regretting the hug because it just made you love being in his arms more. Spending time with somebody probably isn’t the best way to get over them.

“Well, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to until I was sober.” Klaus sits down on his bed, pulling you down with him, and looks in your eyes seriously. It’s unnerving. You’ve never really seen Klaus serious. “Y/N…” He swallows. “Please don’t say anything until I’m done, okay? I just need to get something off my chest.”

You nod. Oh God, is he going to tell me he’s murdered someone? Can you honestly keep a secret like that for him? You nod, squeezing his hands tightly.

“Y/N, I’ve loved you for a long time,” he says, blushing a bit but refusing to look away from you. “I wanted to get sober for you. I want to have a future with you. You’re my best friend and you make me laugh. You’re supportive and kind. I know that people have left you before, but I promise I won’t. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but if you do…” He squeezes your hands for a second. “I’d love to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You want to vomit.

He’s really making fun of you in this way? When he knows how sensitive you are about being abandoned? When he’s probably the only person who knows about your parents and relationship struggles throughout your life?

You swallow around a lump in your throat and croak out a laugh. “Ha, good one, Klaus.” You stand up, avoiding his eyes. “I’m happy you’re sober, though.” You start to turn away, saying, “I have an essay to—”

Klaus grabs your hand gently and spins you around. “Y/N, I’m not making fun of you. I really do love you.”

“Yep, mmhmm, sure,” you say, nodding too quickly, clenching your jaw too tightly. “I know. I’m sorry; I’m not really in the mood for jokes right now; I’m stressed out about this essay that’s due—”

“Y/N, don’t you believe me?” Klaus asks, staring at you. He’d honestly not expected it to go like this—he’s sober; isn’t life supposed to start going right?

You wrench your arm out of his grip. “Sorry, Klaus, I really have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“No, you won’t,” Klaus mutters as you escape the room. He’d imagined that going in a million different ways except that one. “Shit!”

“Go chase after her,” Ben instructs. “We both knew she wouldn’t believe you. At first.”

Umbrella Academy Taglist:

@fentanvl @deathswretch @lightningidiot @five-hg @iamsnek666@ameliatrh @ihatecheesyusernames @dora-the-grownup @emilyt0314 @idklol707

Forever Taglist:

@lemirabitur @annymcervantes

Guys, take a look at the prompt list on my page—I’d love to take requests for them; it’ll be fun writing practice!

[sun-kissed-star]

could i request some extremely fluffy Elmer content please?

@suddenly-im-respecsable this is for you because i told you i’d post almer fluff tonight

also because Albert is a Tree Boy and i can relate

“El, you gotta take the bus home.”

Elmer looked up from his English notes. He wouldn’t say he’d put off studying for the test, except that’s exactly what he’d done and he was starting to regret watching Buzzfeed Unsolved all night instead of memorizing adjectives.

“Hm?” he said, swallowing a mouthful of cereal. “I thought you only work in the morning and evening on school days, though.”

Ed, one of his older brothers who also happened to be his usual ride home, rolled his eyes. “Big boss man’s giving me overtime. And everyone else’s got clubs, college visits, interviews, yadda, yadda. So you’re on your own. Sorry, kid.”

Elmer sighed, tapping his spoon on the table. “Gotcha.”

Some kid rammed into Elmer’s shoulder as he ran off at his stop, and as the bus jolted forward, Elmer’s face slammed into the seat in front of him.

“Take the bus home, he says, it’ll be fine, he says,” Elmer grumbled, rubbing his nose. He leaned his chin on his hand, staring out the window to watch for his neighborhood. He’d missed his stop four times in a row once when he was in seventh grade, and his sister had claimed he was being “dramatic” when he’d claimed he was traumatized, but better safe than sorry.

The bus rolled to a stop in front of a small pond a few neighborhoods away from Elmer’s. A few people got off, and as one shuffled past him to squeeze down the aisle, Elmer leaned closer to the window to make more room.

He turned his head out at the pond, focusing on a kid sitting in a tree down by the sidewalk. He was in a spot between thick branches, looking at the phone in his hand. When Elmer squinted, he could see red hair peeking out under a baseball cap.

Before he could get a better look, the bus started up again and turned around the corner.

Ed: take the bus again. covering for a girl at work

After checking the text for the seventh time, Elmer put his phone back in his pocket and dragged himself on the bus. Again. It wasn’t like he blamed Ed for working more or his other siblings for having lives more interesting than picking up their little brother from school, it was just that the bus smelled like sweat and high schoolers that didn’t know to use deodorant.

When the bus pulled up to the pond, Elmer found himself perking up a little. His eyes wandered out the window, and sure enough, the boy was sitting there again, in a higher branch in the same tree. His legs were dangling on either side of the branch, his hands tucked under his chin like a house cat.

He glanced up at the bus and Elmer’s eyes shot down, as if he could see Elmer looking at him from forty feet away. Eventually, the bus left again, but Elmer could still feel the heat in his cheeks even after the boy was nothing more than a blur.

Ed had work for the rest of the week. On Monday morning, he ruffled Elmer’s hair as he came into the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cabinet.

“I can pick you up today, kid,” he said, putting the mug under the coffeemaker. “I think my boss is finally taking pity on me.”

Elmer shouted, “No!”, almost choking on his orange juice, surprising them both. Ed cocked an eyebrow as he filled his mug to the brim, and Elmer rubbed the back of his neck and said, “I mean, uh, no. It’s fine, I’ll take the bus again.”

Ed laughed, taking a sip of his coffee without bothering to add creamer. “Didn’t know I was that bad,” he said, “but alright. If you wanna be squeezed in with a bunch of juniors that don’t take showers, go for it. I’m not here to judge.”

Elmer reached over the table to swat at him, and Ed caught his hand, still grinning. “Okay, okay. Maybe I’m judging a little.”

The pond (and, okay, maybe Mysterious Tree Boy) was starting to become a familiar that Elmer hadn’t even thought twice about before. So when the bus stopped and people started filing off, he automatically craned his neck to see the boy crouched in the tree.

He wasn’t there.

No bright red hair tucked under a snapback, no feet kicked up against the trunk of the tree, no awkward arms sprawled out on the branches.

Elmer felt his heart leap, and he silently cursed the anxiety pooling in his stomach for a boy he’d never said a word to. But he’d been riding the bus for a week and a half now, and he hadn’t given up Ed’s ride home just not to think about a boy he’d convinced himself was living in that tree.

Sighing, he grabbed his things and squeezed into the aisle. He would have to forget his seventh-grade fears of getting off at the wrong stop for a while if he wanted to finally put a name to a face.

He hopped off the bus, thanking the driver that was looking at him suspiciously, and walked down the sidewalk to the pond. It was peaceful. The second his shoes sank into the grass, the fresh air swept the stress off his shoulders. He shrugged his backpack off, feeling the pollen tickle his nose. He couldn’t blame that boy for spending so much time here, even if he was M.I.A. that day.

“You don’t usually get off here.”

Suddenly, it didn’t seem so peaceful when an unfamiliar voice broke through his thoughts. He yelped, jumping back from the tree. No one was around. So it was a talking tree now. Cool.

“Hey,” someone snapped their fingers, “I’m up here.”

Elmer stepped up to the tree again, peering up at the branches. Hidden by a bigger clump of leaves at the top, the boy he’d been looking for was perched up there, snapback and all. He was wearing a dark red sweater that covered his hands, a notebook and a pencil sitting in his lap. Definitely not a talking tree.

“Oh,” Elmer said, breaking out in a smile. “Hi.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Hey,” he said, tucking a strand of hair under his hat. “I said, you don’t usually get off at this stop.” Elmer stared blankly at him, words clogging his throat. “On the bus. Big yellow thing? Usually full of annoying kids?”

“Uh, yeah,” Elmer said, snapping out of it right when he realized he was acting more like an idiot than usual in front of a boy that was a lot cuter than he looked through a dirty bus window. “Um, my brother usually picks me up? I have eight older siblings and my parents are usually at work but he had overtime so I started riding the bus and - I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

The boy was looking at him with something Elmer couldn’t place in his eyes. He had that dumbfounded expression on his face now, and when he shook it off, he was blushing from the ears. “Nah, keep going,” he said. “You’re pretty cu- uh, company. You’re good company.”

“Not much more to tell,” Elmer said. “I was riding the bus today and I saw you weren’t here, so I got kinda -” He stopped. Huh. That was a little weird, now that he was saying it out loud.

“- worried?” the boy finished. He didn’t look creeped out. He was smirking. Grabbing the branch above him, he dropped his notebook to the ground and came down like he was swinging on a vine, landing on his feet. He was taller than he looked curled up in a tree. “Nice to know you care, uh…”

“Elmer,” Elmer said, pointing at himself. “Elmer Kasprzak.”

“Elmer,” the boy said, shaking it. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Am I gonna get a name? Y’know, so I don’t have to keep calling you ‘guy that lives in a tree’?”

The boy smirked again. “Albert DaSilva. And nah, I don’t live here,” he said, looking up at the tree. “Close, though. My brother raises me, but he has to drive my other brother to this debate club thing every day. I walk home and hang out here until they come back with whatever takeout they order for dinner.”

“Why don’t you just take the bus?” Elmer said.

“A junior on the bus is killer weak.”

“That’s from Be More Chill, right? I like you already.”

“Sure hope you do,” Albert said. “You’ve been here for,” he checked his phone, “ten minutes. That’s a new record from the kids that think I’m weird for hanging out in a tree for hours.”

Elmer laughed. “I’ve seen worse.”

They fell into an awkward silence for a minute, and just when Albert looked like he was about to scramble back up in that tree like a monkey, Elmer blurted out, “Uh, why don’t you have dinner at my house sometime? I’m pretty sure at least half my siblings know how to cook. Be careful around me, though. My mashed potatoes come out looking like cottage cheese in disguise.”

Albert nodded, unlocking his phone and pushing it in his hands. “We have one more thing in common, then,” he said as Elmer typed in his number. “I almost burned the house down trying to make pasta. I dunno why my brother keeps me around.”

“You can tell me all about it when you come over,” Elmer said. “I’ve got four blocks to walk to get home before my brother comes back and thinks I got kidnapped, and I’m sure you wanna get back to your tree.”

“I will,” Albert said. He waved, wriggling his fingers, then dropped his hand and wiped it on his pants. “Uh, yeah. Bye. Elmer. Elmer, right.”

Elmer ended up sprinting to get home in time, but by the time he stopped in front of his house, panting, he was pretty sure his cheeks weren’t red just from the long run.

TAG LIST

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[lifeofnickripley]

Game of Thrones: Fav characters and characters I dislike

(Long post) Kay so, today is the premiere of the final season, guess I'll do my top Ten favorite characters(it is pretty much my favorite show of all time). Show only since I have yet to read the books. If you wonder my opinion on any character not mentioned I either forgot to mention them or I didn't think they really earned a spot on the lists. Yes I do censor things in this a bit buuut I want my web comic to have a wider audience so yea, deal with it. (SPOILER WARNING, at this point, if ur not caught up tho, you have only yourself to blame) Liked Honorable mentions: - Melisandre - before I found out bout the necklace, I had the HUGEST crush on her. She's evil, yes, but she adds a sense of wonder and magic to the show, so I still like her character (other than that necklace scene obviously). Plus Jon wouldn't be back if it weren't for her so haters gonna hate. - Bronn- if he doesn't get his damn castle...lol I doubt I need to say why this wise cracking sword for hire is a favorite, I think most people love him. - Yara Greyjoy - Badass pirate/Viking chick on the high seas? Hell yeah! Plus I love Greyjoy armor, I don't doubt Euron will probably kill her though. - Oberyn Martell - Awesome character, the Red Viper was fierce with a spear and even moreso with his attitude. Unfortunately his pride wound up being his undoing in the end, arguably one of the most effective deaths in the series. - Tormund Giantsbane - How can you not love this absolute bro? I don't even like Brienne and I ship them. Geniune badass. - Jorah Mormont - Lord of the Friend zone, his loyalty makes him one of my favs, not top ten tier though - Petyr Baelish: The events of Game of Thrones wouldn't have happened without this slimy bastard. He was smart and cunning (which made him fun to watch) and though his death was cool, the build up was kind of weak (weird Sansa/Arya storyline) Favorite characters: 10.) Ned Stark - Everyone's original favorite character, his death cemented that GOT wasn't f*ckin around. I mean, damn, still a brutal death scene to watch to this day. Props to Sean Bean for making his so awesome. He was honorable to a fault in a dishonorable world. 9.) Ramsey Bolton - Kay, so I might get some flack for this one, but he was a great bad guy. I mean he was legit terrifying and despicable! Made the Battle of the Bastards have an entirely different level of intensity than most of the battle scenes. Dude was an absolute monster, but unlike another widely disliked villain, this psycho got his own hands dirty instead of beckoning others to. His death scene was poetic but I kinda wanted it to be gorier. (I'm an edgelord though) 8.)Jon Snow - Awesome character, obviously I dig him, so why so low on the list? Honestly, there's characters I like more. But he's still really cool, definitely has the best fight scenes of any of the characters. WE BETTER SEE GHOST THIS SEASON THOUGH!! Lol things are gonna be hella awkward when he finds out Dany is his aunt, yet we still root for them as a couple...that's wincest for you hurr hurr hurr hurr (sorry) I could see him living in the end cus tbh killing him again would be repetitive BS. 7.)Tywin Lannister - Kay...so he died on the sh*tter (imo probably the worst place to die) AND he was an absolute d*ck to Tyrion...but dude, he was awesome. He literally has a song about him in the world of GOT that is used as a warning to others to not f*ck with him!! He took a house that was laughed at and turned it into one of the most feared houses in all of Westeros. That is pretty frickin cool. 6.) Cersei Lannister - Another one I'll get flack for but whatever lol She's cool! So what she shags her brother and is an awful human being? She's a badass! Did you SEE how she blew up all of her enemies in the court and solidified her queen status in one fell swoop? That was dope!! She's vile but very entertaining to watch. RIP the Tyrells. Probably gonna get choked out though by her brother like Maggie the frog predicted. (By my second favorite character no less) 5.) Daenerys Targaryen - Dany! One of my cats is named after her! I love this character. The dragons are amazing, she's cute, she's powerful, maybe a little insane cus of Targaryen madness, and she's overcome some amazing odds. Her storylines could be a little meh in the grand scheme of things but Emilia Clarke's portrayal has made a character that we really root for. I suspect she'll die personally by the Night King buuuuut we'll see. 4.)Tyrion Lannister -Tyrion's writing has gone down a bit in recent seasons but still, most people's favorite Lannister. His quick wit and resilience make him a solidified favorite. Still seems like the person you'd most wanna drink with. I'd be pretty damn surprised if he bit the dust. 3.) Arya Stark - My other cat is named after her and there's a good reason why, SHE'S BASICALLY BECOME A FREAKING FACE STEALING NINJA!!! She was always likeable and I think I've enjoyed almost every storyline she's been a part of (excluding her main one last season) Maisie Williams is a great actress and I hope to see more of her in the future. I doubt Arya will die, but based on that one trailer, things do seem rather bleak for her. Who knows...maybe GRRM wants a divorce... 2.) Jaime Lannister - Yes. This dude is my favorite Lannister. In case you couldn't tell, Lannister is my favorite house. He's really had the best redemption arc in the series. He went from a character I disliked to my second favorite. I predict he will be the one to kill his sister, what happens to him after that, idk. It'll be awkward when he meets Bran again though... 1.) The Hound (Sandor Clegane) - CLEGANEBOWL BETTER HAPPEN!! Kay so... admittedly I screamed like a little freaking girl when this character came back. He... HE'S JUST SO FREAKING COOL!! Admittedly being a 6 footer and a rather grumpy individual, I probably relate to him more than I'd like to admit. Probably will die, but as long as he fights his brother, I'll be a very happy edgelord. Characters I dislike: 10.) Sansa Stark - Kay so I just...I dislike her, I never liked her. I feel sorry for her, sure. She's gotten better over time, sure. I still see her as very entitled and kinda whiny/bratty. She'll probably die. If not I won't be disappointed, still though, not a fan of Sansa. It was cool how she killed Ramsey, tho again, do wish the scene was gorier. 9.) Robb Stark - Ned Stark 2.0 but way less cool. Nuff said. I was okay with his death in the Red Wedding. Shouldn't have made a promise you weren't gonna commit to. Even if Walder Frey is a d*ck. 8.) Catelyn Stark - She was just such a jerk to Jon Snow and Tyrion, seriously. Even moreso in the books from what I have read of them. She got on my nerves. Honestly, I don't feel like Lady Stoneheart would've added much in terms of storyline. 7.) Brienne of Tarth: I find her annoying. Sure, her fight with the hound was FREAKING COOL, but she's kinda too self righteous for her own good. Duty is her thing and all but she is really not good at holding up to her vows. Still ship her and Tormund though. 6.) Theon Greyjoy - hated this dude, then felt sorry for him, now I roll my eyes at him. Honestly, Greyjoys other than Yara are pretty meh characters. Good for him finally regaining figurative cajones. Doubt he'll save his sister though, or survive the White Walkers for that matter. 5.) Euron Greyjoy - this one is a shame cus I hear the book character is amazing. Feels like a pretty generic bad guy of the week type for a show with outstanding villains. Funny like here or there, but kinda a weak character overall. Theon will probably kill him, though I'd love to see a twist where he kills Theon. 4.) Walder Frey - Old dude that got what was coming to him, props to the guy who plays Filch, portrayed two characters who were absolutely despicable. I doubt I really have to list the ways this cowardly character was despicable. Awesome death scene though. Winter came for House Frey. 3.) Shae - Grrrr. The actual actress I feel very sorry for cus I've heard her story, but man this character. Dumb but smart enough to screw over Tyrion. For personal reasons, I really hate this character, reminds me of people I've known. 2.) Tommen and Myrcella Baratheon - Most. Useless. Lannisters. Ever. I'm a Lannister fan so you could see why I roll my eyes so hard with these two. Tommen rolled over so hard you might as well have called him a wheel. And Myrcella was just kinda there, admittedly sad to watch her death scene though (pretty much moreso because it was the only time Jaime was really able to connect with his daughter) 1.) Joffrey Baratheon - Everyone probably saw this coming. Joffrey is that kid on the playground that'd hit you, you'd hit back, they'd start crying and get you in trouble. Everybody knew that kid, I think that's why everyone hates this character so. But man, his death scene was soooo satisfying. Props to the Jack Gleason for making him so horrible. There ya have it. My opinions on GOT characters. Freaking excited for tonight's premiere!! WINTER IS HERE!!

[kilnkin]

moire and aud part 2: post-promposal trainwreck

kilnkin i asked val btw she said shed try to swing the theme and tried to get me to show up at a meeting lol if that factors into all your planning and stuff (:

eldritchlulz !!!!!!! thanks!!!!!

eldritchlulz maybe i should just show up with tentacles we can try to find ye a pseudo globster from the lake a gleusbter

kilnkin lol yeah i can gleubster up my dress probably but the real fake thing would do wonders im sure and as much as i would love that and i would bc ive told you how cool the shifting is rofl your date might like it more and i just cant condone that ):

eldritchlulz oh gross yer right she won't like it if i hit her with them though

eldritchlulz maybe that's the way to go

kilnkin a solid plan. small fries though you gotta think big munro

eldritchlulz what do ye have in mind ms prankmaster supreme

kilnkin honestly?? and i loathe to admit this im kinda stumped everything i come up with im pretty sure she would just enjoy because shes a freak apparently

eldritchlulz hmm mostly what i know is that she hates losing that's the only thing i've seen make her lose her shit

kilnkin is beating her better than not engaging not judging just gathering intel

eldritchlulz it is if i don't beat her then she'll think she won

kilnkin oh thats healthy ok well. i dont know how to beat her or whatever so i guess youre on your own for "pranking"

eldritchlulz are ye pissed

kilnkin never im just not gonna be able to help in your mind games (: no worries

eldritchlulz fine

eldritchlulz we'll still have a good time

kilnkin yep

eldritchlulz yer not fooling me

kilnkin damn

eldritchlulz seriously

kilnkin ok well seriously yes im not happy with this arrangement but its not my business so whatever

eldritchlulz it'll be fine i don't think we're gonna fight i have to watch out for the dean anyways

kilnkin see yeah i wouldve said "how could you have any less fun than playing bodyguard" but then you went and got a date you cant stand lol. always outdoing yourself im impressed but as long as she doesnt punch your lights out!! great standards

eldritchlulz lmao i'm always trying to beat my previous records i was trying to have fun with ye there but if yer pissed maybe i'll just go for triple gold

kilnkin you know that rivalry shit isnt fun for anyone but you right

kilnkin do what you want though i dont care lol

eldritchlulz lmao the only people that it could hurt are her and me but whatever

eldritchlulz i want ye to come so ye can have fun and if it's not gonna be around me then whatever but ye should still come

kilnkin i mean fine but i dont know why youre always lecturing me about having a good time if youre gonna sabotage yourself or whatever. i mean ok

eldritchlulz ye sabotage yerself too

kilnkin were not talking about me?? we dont have to talk about any of this actually wow im gonna go so dont worry about it ok

eldritchlulz see yer doing it right now are ye gonna go hide in the forest for the next three days not to see me i thought we were gonna talk about shit sometimes now

kilnkin maybe i just like the forest!!! im not that sensitive moire i dont give a shit about some school dance i told you why im annoyed is that really not good enough for you lmao

eldritchlulz no it’s not good enough cus any time we talk about ye ye turn it around to make it about me and then ye fuck off and avoid me i think ye do give a shit i lecture cus ye talk yerself out of doing shit that ye’d have a good time at and then ye convince yerself that it wasn’t worth it anyways when it would’ve been good and ye'd make friends

eldritchlulz why let someone like daisy or even me if yer pissed at me stop ye from going

kilnkin because i wasnt even gonna go until you said i should

kilnkin and youre the one making this about me when it was about you and your dumbass mortal enemy so whatever!!

eldritchlulz fine whatever!!! i was trying to help yer my friend i want ye to be have a good time and be happy and shit don’t go if yer gonna be miserable do whatever ye want lmao whatever

kilnkin i was trying to help you but fine ignore me same old

eldritchlulz same here

eldritchlulz ye can have the room i'm going to ra

kilnkin lol ok now whos hiding im not gonna yell at you god

eldritchlulz lmao i'm not scared of ye yelling at me

kilnkin right youre just a hypocrite say hi to misha for me i guess

eldritchlulz fuck off i'm not hiding i just don't need this right now

kilnkin barf ok come back when you stop making a big deal out of nothing

eldritchlulz barf yerself yer the one who started making a big deal out of the thing with daisy

kilnkin you dragged that out of me but sure were all about sharing now right

eldritchlulz well that's the goal lmao it’s hardly dragging when yer all (: which means yer fuckin pissed but won’t say anything about it cus ye don’t want to admit ye get mad

kilnkin this "i know you better than you know yourself" shit is really great keep it coming

eldritchlulz it's almost as fun as ye constantly getting on my case about every fuckin decision i make

kilnkin i let you get away with so much shit dont pull that if i wasnt there when you found the note i wouldnt have said anything. happy?

eldritchlulz hardly

kilnkin shame

[0225pm]

currently listening to: nothing without you / 10cm please click on the link and give it a listen while reading the english translations of the lyrics because it speaks for me.

yo haha

han is probably not gonna like that i posted that first photo of him and his bird’s nest hair because he thinks it’s ugly but he’ll always sparkle in my eyes hehe.

anyway on this day i decided to run away from responsibilities (i need to find a shorter word or phrase for skipping work other than just “skipping work”) and went to see the doctor at bedok polyclinic.

did you know? bedok polyclinic has moved! after god knows how many years but ya they’ve moved to a new location situated in a building right beside fairprice. i forgot what’s the name of the building. i think heart@bedok or something idk LOL but yay to new facilities and the hospital-like interior! i actually really dig the new place.

ok so the night before i asked han if he can accompany me and he was like sure what time? and i said idk maybe around 2? and he’s like okkkkkk but then he came late anyway but haha forgivable cus i’m forever late also besides, even if he came early we would still have to end up waiting anyway cus even after he arrived, i was still waiting for my number to be called e_____e 

me: so long sia the person at the registration counter say maybe must wait 2-3 hours and told me probably around 4:20pm my number will be called han: ya la everyone today monday blues then want to see doctor cus all never go work me: >____> 

and then he went to the vending machine and bought some drinks and a snack. we decided to sit at the area near the vending machine for awhile before moving over closer to the tv screen thingy where your number will be shown when it’s being called. we sat there for like idk i think 15-20 mins just talking shit and me touching han’s face and neck LOLLLL because his body’s so warm and i was cold af even though i was wearing a pullover, until this lady asked us to move and sit inside.

lady: hi are you still waiting? if waiting you can wait inside. me: oh but my room isn’t in hub A, mine’s hub B.  lady: then you cannot sit here because here only for hub A. me: ?????????? han: ????????  me: oh really ah....... han: duduk sini bayar lain pe (i can’t rly rmbr what he said but i know he sounded annoyed hahahaha damn funny and he even said it loudly wtf gile boi want to carik pasal) me: *stands up* hahahaha let’s go bb there got seats *points to hub B area* (which is fucking just beside hub A LOOLLLLL) han: *moves along with me while still muttering the duduk lain bayar lain thingy*

and then!!!!!

me: bb come sit beside me la *there were two empty seats and i already sat in one) han: *moves his butt* random lady: *sits beside me* me: LOLLLLLLLLL  han:  me: you so slow LOL han:  han: *continued sitting on the arm rest of the sofa couch* me: are you comfortable haha do you want to move? *points to another area of empty chairs* han: i’m ok baby i’m sitting also what here me: um okkkkkk

but lol tbh i wasn’t even complaining bc him sitting on the arm rest thingy actually made me feel so fluffy bc i can grab his arm and smell his old man perfume jacket. idk why la but just holding his arm makes me feel so safe and warm and nice wtf idk how to like describe the feeling but i love it la ok. and then he pat my head hahahaha and i was being so passive aggressive about cus i said smth like it’s r00d but actually i like it wtf bodo sia me *facepalm* then he talked about how it doesn’t matter cus he’ll be paying for my head anyway and i was so confused at this point cus like uh what do you mean paying for my head??? then he explained about the zakat thing and how the man in the fam must pay all. quite interesting bc my parents did talked about zakat thingy before but i don’t really know much about it.

also!!! i’m not tryna like stir beef w old men out there but like i described the perfume as old man bc it smells exactly like the perfume my nose sometimes decide to take a whiff of when i walk past old yalam men going to the mosque. also!!! apparently the perfume is from a small bottle that his grandad gave him/used to use or smth i can’t rmbr clearly sorry this post is like 2 days old my memory is shit i need to learn the mind palace thing!!!

i also saw mustakim and his boyfriend!! at first i was like ooooh who is that familiar person and then i realised it was him but we didn’t acknowledge each other hahhahaha 

///////

ok ya so i went to see the doctor and decided to ask for doxycycline again to help with my acne and bumps. she also prescribed some 2.5% benzoyl peroxide for me though i’m currently tryna steer clear of any acne treatment products at the time being cus my skin is already super dry after washing my face and all those products i dumped on my face to help soothe and relief the pain when my face had a crazy ass breakout party the other time. also apparently you’re supposed to religiously take doxy for like 6 months before you can really see the difference wtf. i’ve been taking them for only a month and then i stopped cus i thought it wasn’t helping at all and the doctor before this that prescribed me doxy the 1st and 2nd time didn’t even tell me such basic info. but ya you’re supposed to take it for about 6 months but some people can see some changes in the period of 3-4 months. then she told me to just come back for monthly visitations and see if there’s any improvement. i should have probably also set an appointment for next month so i don’t have to wait so long for my turn but i didn’t ahhahahahaha

////////

then after more waiting for the collection of the meds, payment and official stamp for my mc, we finally went to eat!!! yayerz

han told me that there was fish n chicks at the coffee shop beside princess and i was like ?????? really???????? omg wow i didn’t know they have an outlet here in the east wah damn near leh!!!!!! so we decided to eat there! i would have taken better photos but nvm la hungry already also hahaha! i got chargrilled chicken with cheese pasta and fries for the sides, and han got black pepper chicken with the same sides. i’m gonna try their popular hawaiian chicken next time cus i saw a photo of it on the internet and it looks frikin delish!!! kinda wish i had ordered that one instead but it’s ok there’s always a next time!

and then we sat there for a really long time, the sun even set and the evening skies started taking over the day. we talked about so many things, mainly about what happened the other time at the hotel (will be in another post!), how cheated he felt when i didn’t wear matching outfits with him on the day we went to afa, how disappointed he was when he knew i wasn’t able to come on the day his mom got married after telling his cousins about me and styling his hair, grooming himself just to see my reaction when he pick me up, and then about NS stuff.

i felt so sorry.  and felt even shittier after he told me that he doesn’t wanna wear or try to initiate wanting to wear anything matchy anymore. but i guess, i understand. he doesn’t really like matching things (kinda sux bc i like it) and when he tried to do it, i ended up just brushing his efforts aside. 

sigh.

i was even more sorry about the day of the marriage. cus it was also our 9th month, an even special day for us. yet everything was ruined when all he wanted was to see me. i wanted to see him too, but circumstances wouldn’t let us. 

but i learnt something through this talk we had.  i’m also glad that he tells me things now without me having to force it out of him. i’m not sure if he realised that he tells me things but i really like that raw and vulnerable side of him when he talk about how he feels. not because it makes me feel like i have authority or whatever, but more so because he trusts me enough to confide and have a h2h talk about whatever he feels displeased with rather than just keep it to himself and letting his true thoughts and feelings consume him from the inside.

also by knowing our mistakes, and the hurt we caused each other because of our actions, we can learn from the mistakes and work things out together to try and prevent the same or similar things from happening again in the future. 

communication is really the key and i’m happy to know that han feels the same because he wants the relationship to go far. damn i’m starting to sound old. or maybe this is part of me adulting in a relationship. 

(to be continued)

[bataddictedloony]

Listen up, people, this is a self-therapy session, this is a thought process after a massive cry so just skip this.

So the trigger was the two last episodes of Orange is the New Black, of fucking course, but the source was, as usual,a whole clusterfuck of shit. Perfect wording. It’s 3 in the morning.

I’ve been telling myself I’m getting better, I’ve been telling others I’m getting better. And I am. I really think I am. You know, you don’t just fix a depression that’s been there more than half your life. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that. But it’s... annoying as fuck to keep discovering new things about having a condition, a mental one in my case but I’m 98% sure it’s the same with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses and such. You know, you think you finally have it all figured out and then something happens and you’re like “oh, I was wrong, this annoying piece of shit thing is also part of the process, learn something new every day.”  I have accepted that I’m a high sensitive person. I have accepted that that makes me an easy cryer and I have adapted to that accordingly. I let people know beforehand when I feel it’s a bad day, I bring tissues everywhere, I prevent situations that make me panic. I have accepted that I’ve been depressed ever since I was 12 years old and I have again adapted accordingly. I know what triggers bad thoughts and prevent them, I avoid stress or do anything in my power to make the stress less aggressive, I avoid drama, I avoid guilt-tripping posts on tumblr. I have accepted I have some kind of anxiety disorder, I’ll leave figuring out which to the professionals, but I have yet again tried to adapt accordingly. I have a comfort plushy that functions as a key-chain, I have friends who can take over when it gets bad, I taught myself sign language so I don’t have to talk when I can’t, I have post-its everywhere reminding me it’s not always my fault and that my brain is telling me to overthink and as long as I’m aware of that, I can handle situations, I have taught myself to stress for 5 minutes and then push it back to focus on the problem and how to fix it. I’ve done all that. In the 21 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve figured all that out, and I’m aware I’m not even half-way through knowing and understanding myself but... It’s just so annoying. To not understand, to not know. It’s annoying, cus I want to prepare myself for moments like today, where I explode.

In hindsight.... What the fuck. I’ve been working for school pretty much non-stop for a month, I stayed in school till 9 o’clock to work for school, I work every weekend, I’ve been working every weekend since December and it’s a stressful job with lots of yelling because that’s how restaurants work, I don’t eat healthy, I don’t exercise, I don’t take my vitamins like I should, I don’t sleep well, I didn’t sleep well last night, I had a terrible fucking night, I greatly dislike most of my friends, the people I’m currently closest with are my classmates, my cat and pet turtle, this bitch from another witch keeps coming into my life for no fucking reason, this generation sucks, the previous generation sucks, there’s wars going on, people starving, living on the streets, dying every single day and I hate that I’m not financially stable or emotionally stable enough to do anything about it and I hate that I keep spending time on a website that makes me feel guilty for it, I hate that I keep spending time on a site that makes me feel guilty for being white while on one hand I know I SHOULD feel guilty for being white because my skin colour is the biggest privilege I have in this current society but on the other hand what my ancestors did isn’t my fucking fault and I’m not hurting anyone for their skin colour or ethnicity, I’m not hurting anyone period, I hate that I’m against immigration but also pro immigration, I hate that I’m so in between sides and it’s making me unable to think of solutions for very real problems, I hate that all this shit is going on in the world and my biggest concern is that I cry in front of my boss and my teachers which a lot of other people don’t even have! I should’ve known it was coming, I should’ve known that I was gonna need a good cry and that it wouldn’t fix anything except put my hydration levels a little lower. That whole bullshit about feeling better after crying? I don’t know how the fuck people do that but it has never worked on me. The whole cumbaya stuff, the ‘good vibes’ look on things... what kind of half-baked bullshit... 

The world is shit and there’s nothing I can do about it, my mind is shit and there is yet again nothing I can do about it and crying and thinking positive does not. Fucking. Help. It resets the stress-levels button but it’s gonna happen again in less than half a year and I know it and I have no idea how to prepare for it. I’m gonna be okay for a few months and I’m going to get my hopes up but in the end I am always gonna be alone, in my room, with a tv show on, crying.