#i was writing a fic that i set before strive but now i'm gonna go back and add in some stuff

[perexcri]

AaaaaaaAaaaAaaaaaaaa the plot is plotting and sticking rose thorns into my heart!!! I should have known Will wouldn’t get to leave that room without something else terrible happening esp after that nightmare ;-; these poor boys

“Will’s like sand pouring out from a broken hourglass, running through Mike’s fingers, and no matter how hard he grasps, he’s never going to catch all of him, just fragments and specks and debris.” How are you always so good at putting amazing imagery into my head? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s like magic. This line and the line about sunlight catching on Will’s button. So so amazing.

Vecna ruining Mike’s chance to speak >:((( man does not believe in romance

“in that moment, he hears Mike’s voice and thinks: he’s going to save me.” I’m in Tears and on the floor orz

“Just trust me.” Im biting and ripping and killing Vecna right now >:((🔪

Aaa these chapters were so good and I devoured them and you are such a fantastic writer genuinely.

HI VEEE!! yes, unfortunately, the plot is, indeed, plotting right now. it only took *checks notes* approximately 20k words of pining to get there :'D

your writing compliments are much appreciated and work very well on me, because each time i get one, i strive to get better and better. i will try and give you all the imagery that i can >:)

Vecna simultaneously ruining Mike's chance to say something and then immediately turning to Will and being like "so are you two dating or?" was actually so fun to write aljfals. i feel like Vecna was lowkey made to be a fairy tale kind of villain...like in canon, i don't particularly care for or about him, but putting him in a fantasy setting has made him so much scarier and interesting to me lol

yeah Will thinking he's gonna get saved :'D welp. it wouldn't be a byler fic from me if one of them didn't suffer, right? poor child :(

Veeeee i'm so glad you liked these chapters!! i'm excited to get to work on this project more - a lot of the plot is pretty clear in my head, so it's only a matter of writing it all down now :D

thanks, as always, for your kind words!! i hope you're doing well and having a fantastic day :] <3 (i am once again emoji-less thanks to the constraints of corporate american workplace technology lol)

[golbrocklovely]

revenge of the nerd // sam golbach

A/N: the inspiration behind this fic is the photo below of sam. idk what came over me when i saw them (or the first time he wore that outfit), but i immediately had a whole fic idea when he posted them. i didn’t make this a y/n insert bc… the main character is super unlikable bc she is comically a popular girl, and i highly doubt any of yall want to be put in those shoes lol but anyway please tell me what you think about this fic ! i enjoyed writing it so hopefully you enjoy reading it.

prompt: stacy doesn’t like anyone that isn’t popular, and that includes sam. but when dared to kiss him, will she give into her feelings or win the bet?|| fem OC x sam golbach

trigger warning: SMUT, cursing, drinking/partying, over-the-top popular!OC, think of teenage comedy levels of caring about popularity but set in college, sam is a “nerd”, slight dubcon… but not really??, she actually likes it but won’t admit it at first, but then gives in, so… just be aware of that if that’s something you don’t like

word count: 3091

Being popular has always been my number one priority, ever since high school. I surrounded myself with only popular people; jocks, cheerleaders, - pretty people - and have kept it that way since I was 15. Now I'm 22, about to graduate college, and I'm still popular. I joined the best sorority at my school, cheer for our elite football team, and only talk to and socialize with the coolest fraternities on our campus. The idea of being around uncool people, nerds, is so... gross to me. Do they not realize how low on the totem pole they are? Like, why would you strive to be a loser?

"This party is so fucking lame." Heather, my best friend, sighed.

I nodded. "It's because Jared won't put on the good playlist, the one with all the early 2000s hits."

"What I would do for a Missy Elliot song right now..." Heather groaned.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll go tell him."

"You know he isn't gonna change it." She called back.

"You underestimate my abilities." I winked.

I shuffled through the party, making my way over to Jared who was by the speakers. Before reaching him, I pulled my skirt up, letting it show just a little of my ass, and shifting my bra around so my breasts were up and closer to my chin.

I seductively strolled up to Jared, lightly laying a hand on his shoulder. His eyes remained on his laptop. "What's up, Stacy?"

“Hey Jared, I was just wondering if you were taking some song requests.” I asked softly.

He shook his head, finally looking up at me. “Not at the moment, no.”

I held back my distain of the music playing around us, keeping my voice sweet. “Me and Heather would really appreciate it if you could play some early 2000s songs instead of... whatever this playlist is.”

“I don't know. I haven't heard anyone complaining.” He commented.

My voice dropped, annoyed. “I have. Plus, no one is dancing. If you play, let's say, a Missy Elliot song, people would dance. Girls... would be dancing.”

He glanced up at me, his eyes narrowing for a moment. Then he scanned my body up and down. "Would you dance?"

"Absolutely." I whispered, leaning towards him.

He cleared his throat. “After this song... I’ll play some Missy.”

"Perfect. You're ama-" A loud bunch of laughs cut me off, making me look up. Around a table right near us, were the worst kind of people. The type of people that stick out the most at parties.

Nerds.

I gasped, staring at them. "Who invited them?"

“Those guys? They're cool, Stacy.” Jared responded.

I scoffed. “Highly doubt that.”

“No seriously. I met them in a business class of mine. They're chill.” He replied.

One of them glanced up in our direction, their blue eyes landing on me. He flicked his blonde hair out of his eyes, looking me up and down.

“Who's that one?” I questioned.

Jared stared up at the group. “That’s Sam. He's really dope.”

“A man wearing that colorful of a shirt and khakis can't be dope. It's impossible.” I doubted, crossing my arms.

“Stacy, being friends with people outside of sororities and fraternities won't make you become a loser. Lighten up.” He remarked.

I turned to him, smiling bitterly. “So, are you gonna play that Missy Elliot song or not?”

Jared raised his eyebrows, scrolling over to the search bar on Spotify, and changed the song to 'Work It'. A bunch of people in the party cheered and I patted Jared’s shoulder. "Thank you."

When I looked back up at the party, that Sam guy was still staring at me. But he had a weird look on his face. He looked me over again, rolled his eyes, and took a swig of his drink.

Gross.

!!!!!

"Alright, alright. Who's ready for spin the bottle?" Heather yelled.

The party had been going on for a couple hours at this point, and everyone was feeling a bit buzzed. This was Heather's go-to to keep the party going.

Everyone in the room clapped and laughed, sitting closer to each other as a glass bottle was placed on the floor.

I sat down, smiling up at Heather. I gazed around the circle, looking at who was playing with us. A couple cute guys stuck out to me. I couldn’t help but bite my lip at all the different hotties.

"Okay, Stacy. Why don't you start us off?" Heather chuckled.

"With pleasure." I sat forward, gripped the bottle and spun it fast. It went around multiple times and finally slowed down. The bottle pointed to the left of me. I looked up, hoping one of the cute guys I saw was there, but instead... it was Sam.

Fuck! I didn't even see him!

His friends around him patted his shoulder, congratulating him.

“He's cute.” Heather mentioned, raising her eyebrows at me.

“I think the fuck not. Are you sure there isn’t someone else I can kiss?” I quickly stood up to meet Sam.

“Oh no. But we're gonna give you guys a more private setting to do this in.” Heather shoved me towards the closet, Sam's friends forcing him in as well. Before I could protest, the light to the closet was turned on as the door was slammed shut.

The light thumping of the music mixed with our breathing. I let out a huge sigh and leaned against the wall, trying not to knock over the coats next to me.

"I thought this was spin the bottle, not seven minutes in heaven." Sam mumbled jokingly.

I barked back. “So you know, I will not be kissing you.”

“Hey, that's your choice. I don't mind.” He threw his hands up defensively.

I hummed, my hands resting on my hips. “I'm surprised. I would think you would give any chance to kiss a girl.”

He scrunched up his face. “...Why would you think that?”

“Have you ever even kissed a girl?” I inquired.

“Yes I have. With tongue too.” He mockingly gasped, “I've also had sex.”

“That's surprising.” I deadpanned.

He cocked his head slowly. “Is there a reason why you don't like me? You don't even know me.”

“Look, I've tried my hardest to stay as far away from people like you since I was a freshman in high school.” I stated.

“And who are people like me?” Sam puzzled.

“Losers. Nerds. Non jocks and cheerleaders. You know, people who aren't popular.” I hissed.

He held back a laugh. “Wow. People like you actually exist?”

I scowled at him. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You still care about popularity.” He answered.

I jeered. “Like you don't.”

“No. I’m not still in high school.” He snapped back.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever...”

The silence in the closet was heavy, boring me senseless. I glanced at Sam. He seemed lost in thought for a second, and finally our eyes connected.

“The only reason you won't kiss me is because I'm a nerd?” He asked.

“Yeah. I know how guys like you kiss. It's gross and not worth it.” I retorted, leaning against the wall.

He sassed. “I thought you said you don't go near people like me.”

“Well, you gotta kiss a frog or two before you find a prince.” I explained.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “How about I dare you?”

“Dare me to what?” I glared.

Sam bit his lip, holding back a smirk. “I dare you to kiss me. If you hate it, you can go out to that party and tell everyone that I suck at kissing and that I’m a loser.”

“You already are that.” I spoke, mocking his smile.

“Yeah, but now you can announce it to everyone.” He added, getting closer, “You can embarrass me in front of all your friends… maybe then they’ll realize what a loser I am.”

I paused, humming for a second. Finally, I looked back at him, sitting up. “Humiliating you does sound like so much fun.”

“But what if you lose?” He questioned, his voice low.

I held back a snort, stepping up to him and slowly moving my hands to his shoulders. “If I lose? That’s cute.”

He grabbed my wrists before I could even touch him. “If you lose, I get the satisfaction of knowing you liked it and that I, maybe, turned you on.”

“Right, okay.” I snickered, rolling my eyes.

“I’m serious.” His voice deepened, his eyes narrowing in on my lips.

I shrugged, freeing my wrists from his surprisingly gentle grasp. “Fine. Whatever. Just kiss me so we can get this over with.”

Sam leaned in quickly, his lips connecting with mine. The kiss was soft, sweet. Something I hadn't really experienced all that much with guys. Most guys I got with were rough, which was fine, but this... was a nice change of pace.

I mean, for a nerd.

Sam lightly cupped my hips, his thumbs rubbing my skin. I drifted my hands up to his shoulders, tracing his collarbone with my fingers. His tongue glided across my bottom lip. I inhaled at the movement.

Does he really think I'm gonna let him put his tongue in my mouth?

Suddenly, I felt his one hand snake across every one of my curves as it moved up my body, his hand finally stopping to tangle his fingers into my hair. Then his other hand drifted down and smacked my ass, squeezing it firmly. I gasped against his lips and his tongue slithered into my mouth. He tasted intoxicating, like mint and vodka. As our tongues danced against each other, I pushed my body closer to him, deepening the kiss.

What the fuck am I doing?! Am I really... liking this?

No! Of course not. He's the one that needs to be humiliated, not me.

Before I could even think to pull away, he backed me up until my body was forced up against the wall, taking me by surprise. The hand in my hair pulled lightly on my locks, making me almost moan into our kiss. His other hand massaged my upper thigh, rubbing circles into my almost exposed skin. His hand dipped lower, grazing the back of my knee and bringing it to around his hip.

He pressed his body against mine, forcing my other leg to spread open further. Then suddenly, he began to grind his hips against mine. The slow thrusts made me feel dizzy for a moment, my body flushed with heat.

I must be going crazy... this feels so good.

Sam ripped his mouth away from mine, kissing across my jaw and down my neck. He found my favorite spot, under my earlobe, and began to suck and nibble on the skin. Hearing and feeling his breath so close to my ear made my stomach do cartwheels.

I bit my lip hard, trying to keep my moans from escaping. I knew I shouldn't be liking this, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't help but feel turned on by Sam's actions. He really knew what to do to make me wet.

My cheeks turned even more pink as I felt the dampness in my panties grow. I hadn't even realize how turned on I had become. Sam's mouth drifted even further down and kissed the tops of my breasts.

I felt his name leave my mouth in a breathy whisper. His piercing blue eyes glanced up at me for a second, an almost smirk appearing on his lips.

Oh my God, the bet! I completely forgot about it.

One of his hands rested high up on the leg that was wrapped around his waist. I could feel it inching closer and closer to my sex, the pooling heat between my legs. I didn't want him to know how wet he was making me.

“Are you turned on?” His mouth murmured against my skin.

“W-what?” I stuttered.

“I said, are you turned on?” He repeated.

“No.” I muttered breathlessly.

He pursed his lips, squinting at me. “Are you lying to me?”

I huffed, furrowing my brow. “Why would I lie?”

“Because…” His hand swiftly cupped my sex, pressing my damp panties against my clit. I shuddered out a gasp, gripping his forearms from the sudden sensation. “I think your body says otherwise.”

“That d-doesn’t mean anything.” I squeaked.

He pressed his palm against my clit, rubbing circles. “No? Do you get this wet for everybody? That’s pretty slutty if you ask me.”

My cunt throbbed at his words. “I’m not a slut.”

“I didn’t say you were. I just said that if you get this wet for any guy that grinds against you for two seconds… than you’re slutty. But I don’t think that’s true.” Sam uttered, his eyes gazing into mine.

“It’s not.” I whimpered.

“I know, baby. You’re wet because I made you feel this… good.” His lips grazed my skin as he pressed his body against mine. “Just admit it and I’ll actually touch you.”

My hips bucked against his hand, wanting more. The small circles he rubbed into my aching clit were not enough, and I could feel my pussy soaking my panties more.

I grunted, squeezing his shoulders tight. “Jesus, fine. You turn me on, Sam. Now fucking touch me!”

“Gladly.” He narrowed his eyes at me, yanking my panties down to my knees. Then he slid his hand down to my sex again and began fingering me.

I leaned my head back against the wall, my eyes rolling back in pleasure. His speed wasn’t fast enough, and I needed more than just his fingers. My hands drifted down to his pants, undoing the belt quickly.

“What are you doing? We can’t fuck in here.” He protested, pulling away from my hands.

“Yes we can.” I argued.

“We’ll get caught. Aren’t they gonna come back?” Sam puzzled.

“No. Heather usually just throws couples into every closet and bedroom that’s in this house and ends the game. She never actually times it. So, we can fuck and not get caught.” I informed, yanking him by his belt loops back into me.

“Is that what you want?” He smirked, staring me down.

I nodded my head, unzipping his pants and letting his bulge pop out.

He grabbed my hand, keeping his fingers still inside me. “Say it.”

“Say what?” I choked.

“Say what you want me to do to you.” Sam commanded.

I exhaled deeply. “Why don’t you say it first?”

He sped up his fingers, making me bit my lip hard. “Of course I want to fuck you. You knew that the moment we made eye contact a couple hours ago. But now, I need to hear you say it.”

“You already know what I want.” I whined.

“I don’t know… How can I be sure you want me to fuck you unless you say it?” He slowed his movements down to an almost stop again.

I growled, bucking my hips. “Fuck you.”

“I think one of those words is wrong.” He chuckled darkly.

I stared up at the ceiling as he closed the space, his lips running up my neck.

“Come on baby. Use that pretty mouth for me,” Sam whispered harshly. “Tell me what you want.”

“Sam, just fuck me already.” My breath hitched, the desperation dripping from my voice.

His fingers picked up their pace again, going faster than before. “Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, please.” I begged.

“You want me to make you cum around my cock?” As his fingers slid in and out, his thumb began to massage my clit.

I moaned loudly. “Oh my God, yeah!”

“Are you close?” He asked, gazing into my eyes.

“Mm-hmm.” I panted, unable to form words.

He kept his pace until suddenly he slowed his fingers down, pulling them out hastily.

“W-what are you doing?” I stammered.

“I won the bet.” He muttered, his eyes meeting mine.

My heart stopped. “The bet…”

“Yeah. Did you forget about it?” His mouth twitched, a smile almost appearing.

“No, I remember it.” I cleared my throat, wrapping my hands around his waist. “But so what? You were right. You turned me on. And now you get to fuck me. Congratulations.”

“I don’t want to fuck you.” He moved my hands off him.

“That’s a lie.” I let out a short laugh, glancing down at his hard cock.

He licked his lips, zipping his pants back up. “Yeah, it is. Actually, I don’t think you deserve to fuck me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” My face dropped, realizing he was serious.

“I’ve had popular girls before, and from personal experience… they aren’t that good,” he smiled smugly. “And even though you are dripping for me, you don’t deserve to cum.”

I scoffed loudly. “Fuck you!”

He shrugged, almost opening the closet door. Then he turned back to me. “Remember next time, be nice to nerds.”

Sam winked at me and brought his hand up to his mouth. He licked his fingertips, my juices still on them. My eyes widened at his action, watching as he tasted me. Then, he quickly grabbed the door handle and left me alone in the closet.

After a minute of catching my breath, I slid my panties back on, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of the wet fabric.

Oh my God, what if he told people at the party about what happened?

I rushed out of the closet, searching quickly for Heather. She was by the beer pong table, cheering on a group of guys.

“Did Sam say anything?” I asked, tapping her arm as I reached her.

“What?” She responded.

I groaned. “Did Sam say anything when he left the closet?”

“No. He came up to me, said he had to go back to his dorm, and just left. He didn’t even say goodbye to his friends.” She admitted.

I exhaled. “Oh thank God.”

Her eyes scanned my face. “Are you okay? Your face is so red.”

“Um… yeah.” My eyes made contact with Jared across the room, “I just… need to go do something real quick.”

I walked up to him, moving past the girl that he was talking to. “Hey Jared?”

“Yeah?” He questioned.

I pushed my body up against his, pressing my lips to his ear. “I want you to take me upstairs and fuck me.”

He choked on his drink. “What?”

“Take me upstairs and fuck me.” I stated bluntly, glaring into his eyes.

He nodded his head nervously, grabbing my hand. “Uh… sure thing.”

|| PART 2 >>

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

[septimusheapheadcanons]

Hey, this is a question for whenever you feel like it and have the time, but I'm curious what you think of each of the Heap's canon SO and why or why not you ship them?

this is gonna be me gushing a lot, but also kinda salty so be warned

Simon: Lucy. I love Lucy!!! She’s one of my faves. She’s so… atypical for a character in a book series, especially as one of the main “star crossed lovers”. She’s loving, strong, persistent, steadfast, strong-willed. But she’s also loud, nosy, overweight, stubborn, in-your-face, angry, and, most importantly to me, ugly. Lucy is not typically beautiful or soft or feminine, but she’s still the main love interest!! And even though she’s not typically feminine, she still likes things like pretty ribbons and silky cloaks and cute boys, which are traditionally feminine. She’s allowed to be complex, and have this strong dichotomy with both her personality and her role in the story. And!! She grows!! In my reread something I noticed and really appreciate is the arc that Lucy goes through. It’s easy to see how she saves Simon, but she matures so much on her journey. She comes to appreciate what she has, but also trying to do better for herself. She learns to (somewhat) keep a cap on her temper when she needs to, she becomes kinder to strangers, she tries really, really hard to be a good person. And it’s so good!! She makes friends, weathers hardships, lives on her own, helps pull herself and Simon up by their bootstraps. G O D  I love her so much!! And her and Simon together??? Incredible!! She is so important in his arc, and y’all know how much I love him. They’re both so… weird. They’re kind of outcasts, they have their issues, and they never once falter on their love for each other!! Never once does Lucy think of abandoning Simon despite everything. Never once does Simon see Lucy as anything other than an angel. When he thought she left him, he wasn’t even angry with her!! He was angry with himself for not being better for her!! I love crying about them!! And like, with Lucy being kind of ugly, this becomes so much more important!! When Lucy comes out in her god-awful wedding dress, everyone’s like “oh wow, that’s kind of ugly.” But Simon!! Thinks she looks incredible and loves it because she made it herself!! Could your OTP ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam: Marwick. G o d  I love Wolf Boy. I love him!! I always knew I liked him but my love for him has skyrocketed during my reread!! He’s… so incredible, and I’m a little mentally tired after that Lucy analysis so I won’t go into why I love him so much right now (maybe another time if y’all wanna know). And Samwick!! OK, so I only have 2 problems with Samwick, and neither makes me not ship them. The first is the whole thing about Keepers not getting married, which I wanna do a separate post about sometime soon, so I’ll leave it there. The second is the age gap. But, like Septyrah, it??? Doesn’t seem to really exist in the world??? Like, Sam is 7 years older than Marwick, but I’m pretty sure canon ages mean Absolutely Nothing to Angie Sage. And they’re both adults in Sandrider, so I’m cool with it, but I still think it’s kind of odd. Angie, why are you like this. B U T!!! They’re so cute!! Talk about a #battlecouple. They’re so nature-y and wild and intense, and they travel the world together?? Talk about #goals. Sam almost dying is like, my favorite part of Sandrider!! And the way Marwick is so sweet and trying to be calm and helpful?? 10/10

Edd: no canon S/O. (I ship him with Moira Mole for no real in-text reason, but as they both have like, no canon personalities or S/Os I’m allowed to!!)

Erik: no canon S/O. OK, so I headcanon Erik as a HUGE flirt who dates/hooks up with a lot of girls. BUT!! I also headcanon that when he meets the girl who will eventually be his wife, he’s stunned!! He’s still a smooth charmer, but he loves this girl like a little puppy, and he’s so intent on taking it seriously. He knows after like, 2 weeks that he wants to marry her, but they date for a while and he’s so happy!! He has no trouble transitioning from player to ready-to-wed. At first he has a bit of trouble not flirting with everyone on instinct before he realizes His Girlfriend also does that and they laugh and use flirting to get what they want, and never ever once worry about the other not being faithful. Then they have like 6 kids (first 2 are a set of twin girls). And it’s good!!

JoJo: Marissa. S i g h. I… have so many mixed feelings about Marissa and Jorissa. On the one hand, it’s so interesting, because they’re so fucked up. But also…?? Their canon state makes me so M A D!! I’m sure I’ve ranted about it somewhere if you look in the “Starchaser,” “JoJo Heap,” or “Marissa Lane” tags. So I can like, vibe with it I guess, but I would have to do a lot of work before I was okay with them canonly ending up together. Like, a multi-chapter Jorissa fic is something I eventually wanna do, working on how I want to make them work. But I love JoJo and Marissa does NOT treat him well!! So… IDK. It’s real complicated.

Nicko: Snorri. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The original childhood OTP, my dudes. I was so sad (and angry) in Fyre when Snorri left and they broke up. Like, nooooo!!!! My heart was broken!! So when they got back together pre-Pathfinder, I nearly lost my mind. They’re both adventurous, a little snarky boat people!! And Snorri jumped into the past for him and his fam?? And he stayed in the past with her just so she wouldn’t be lost alone!! And the way they’re both changed after the House of Foryx. They went through so much together!! I love them!! And I love Snorri!! She’s really cute. The scene where she meets Jenna and Wolf Boy, and she just keeps laughing about the ever-growing number of Heap brothers?? She’s so deadset on establishing herself as her own person, but it’s not until she goes on her own journey that she realizes she was still just following in her father’s footsteps. And she does get her own journey, and also learns to appreciate her mom!! And she can see ghosts?????? I love her!!!!!!!!!!

Jenna: Beetle. Sheesh, okay, this is where it gets a little messy, but until Sage puts in writing that these two broke up and makes S/e//p/J//e/n// canon, I won’t accept it!! Even then I won’t, but still. A N Y W A Y, Beetle is such a great character. I did a bit of an analysis on his inferiority complex compared to Sep here, but besides that he’s?? Such a huge loser nerd and I love him. He loves so completely, he strives to do what’s right, he’s so genuinely interested in things!! And his crush on Jenna is one of the cutest parts of the series, 10/10. And how do I even describe Jeetle. Two cinnamon rolls who love to have fun and help people fall in love and proceed to spread joy and love and sometimes salt throughout the kingdom. They’d fight anyone for the other. I love them.

Septimus: no canon S/O. OK, so Starchaser kinda implies that he and Driffa are gonna date, but even Angie has said no way that’s gonna last lmao. #Let SepDateSyrah2k17.

[talietikasero]

I went in aware of the (possible) retcons and shit but I watched the whole thing anyway. It’s some ungodly hour way past when I should’ve slept and here’s what I thought. I’m trying to be fair here when I give GG Strive’s story a 6.8/10

Visuals: This game is beautiful. 12/10

Voice cast: I enjoyed the dub. Not as much of a corny anime dub like Sign was, but the returning cast improved from that game -- or at least I thought so. 8.75/10

Soundtrack: One word: Incredible. The duo of Naoki and Aisha on vocals for all character themes -- ok they're only a duet on Ramlethal's [Necessary Discrepancy] but you know what I meant -- was a perfect choice. My favorite themes from when I played the second open beta back in mid-May were Giovanna's [Trigger] and Potemkin's [Armor-Clad Faith], but Leo's [Hellfire] really grew on me the most. 15/10

Game itself: Arcade mode was a fun challenge because I’m an idiot who did all 15 but I got really tired of fighting Nago over and over again. I’m not that great so I’m not worrying about getting the “Messiah Will Not Come” trophy where you fight him but he’s got an infinite blood gauge. Survival gives a good chunk of the lifebar back without making it too easy -- and the “mysterious challenger” at stage 10 being a shadowy Sol with neon red was an okay way to signal a checkpoint. 9/10 I’m not doing online any time soon because I don’t have a wired connection but I hear it’s ass and the tower placement is a complete lie.

Anywho, now on to the real post:

For a finale, the story was... slightly below average. But I’ll be honest here, I kinda had high expectations because of the hype from the past two (?) years, five if you count the total time between Rev2 and Strive's release dates.

The last time I was this critical of a sequel’s story was the gap between Borderlands 2 and 3, which was seven years. I'm going off on a tangent here but I'll sum it up so if you're not familiar with Borderlands you'll have an idea of what I'm taking about. In Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel, the Watcher (Eridian? that saved Athena from execution after telling Lilith and company of her adventures on Elpis with Nisha, Wilhelm, Timothy, Aurelia, and Claptrap) warned "Now's not the time for bickering, Vault Hunters. War is coming, and you will need all the Vault Hunters you can get". BL3 rolls around and there was no big war. Instead, we got a poorly delivered dumpster fire of a main campaign that spanned five planets and the main villains were some bratty livestreamer Sirens that run a planet wide cult. Seriously? The cast was poorly handled there too but I'll stop here.

In the case of comparison to another fighting game’s story, the game that comes to mind is Tekken 7 because if they aren’t a Mishima or Kazama or someone else in that fucked up family that’s plot relevant, they were given a shitty one-fight episode. Sure Nina and Claudio were in the main story mode but that's the thing: they were just there. The returning (dlc) series veterans, such as Anna, Lei, Marduk, and all the way to Zafina plus the newcomers Leroy, Lidia, Fahkumram, and Kunimitsu II weren't given much aside from a brief story snippet. Dare I say it but SFV did their new seasons newcomers and returning fighters justice as they all got episodes of their own. You read that right. Street Fighter V was better to its cast than Tekken 7 and Guilty Gear -Strive-.

Unlike the Xrd games, watching the story does not get you any money. The only difference I saw right after was that the Strive correlation chart updated. For what it’s worth, they could’ve done something like DBFZ’s story clearance unlocking a new character, or do an alternate costume where the outfit Frederick wears in the ending (and upon further inspection is the very same one he wore in the flashback) is useable in fights (it’d be hilarious but a good detail added in if you were to select that option but the name plate doesn’t display “Sol” lmao). If Ky has a palette that puts him in an open button white shirt, jeans, and what look like work boots, then let me play in the ending's lab coat, tanktop, and jeans dammit.

I kept track of how many of the playable cast showed up and played some part. Everyone except Ramlethal, May, and Faust appeared in the story -- these three were reduced to credit image cameos >:( Ram’s seen with Elphelt and Sin, while Ky and Dizzy are in the background. May’s with her crew, and Faust is in the desert somewhere or some shit with Chronus.

But even if they did show up, nobody else except like five people did jack shit. Giovanna, bless her heart, was absent for a long period then showed up to fight Nagoriyuki (who eventually sided with the good guys) but got her ass beat after he faked surrender. Potemkin helped but spent most of his time cruising at high speed trying to get to the White House. Ky and Jack-O didn’t arrive until the end either. Axl -- or should I say Will -- finally got to see Megumi again at the cost of I-No’s defeat. The dude got his girlfriend back at the loss of someone he considered a friend but the delivery felt forced as it was confirmed as she was dying -- wasn't part of her character that she has no recollection of a past? Her suddenly remembering a past boyfriend and being able to describe his appearance didn't really make much sense.

Chipp and Anji were in that comical highway chase scene, but then Anji's just wherever while Chipp's in the Pentagon control room. I get that someone had to stay behind and watch from the other side -- this role landing with Leo as he, Millia, and Zato were overseeing commentating on events from the castle’s war room like Brock and Misty during Ash's battles in the OG season of the Pokemon anime, while Daryl was at the G4 conference and Ky was on his way to the fight -- but the pacing and usage of the cast in this story was a mess. Yeah sure it has most of the GG cast in this installment's playable roster present but it didn't feel like a GG story -- really it felt like the live action Resident Evil movies where the source material's characters are sprinkled in, acting more as a "here ya go they're here don't expect much!" type thing.

Honestly, a step down from Rev because at least everyone in that arc were somewhat present with maybe one or two exceptions? Hell, even though they were added as dlc or in Rev2, Dizzy, Haehyun, Baiken, and Answer were in the main story. Being hopeful here when I say that I hope we see more of Goldlewis or get to play as him because his design is badass and so is his coffin flail weapon. On the side of fairness though, I have a feeling this isn’t exactly what Ishiwatari intended (this is unlikely but it's probably Katano's directing? Whatever in any case)? The general reaction I saw from others who’ve watched the story was that the subplots were half baked and the plot as a whole was pretty rushed. Happy Chaos / the Original as the main villain was Calypso Twins from Borderlands 3 level cringe and every time HC appeared on screen I wanted to mute it. There is the bonus story coming later this year, along with the dlc slots, so ehh? The interactions between Colin and Frederick were one of my personal favorite points even if this did turn into “Neon Genesis White House Down”.

“Brown bears don’t give birth to pandas.“

I’m sure like the others who actually paid attention to the story from the end of Xrd to Strive, my main question was this:

After the Justice / Jack-O fusion -- recall the “newly revived” Aria had purely red hair and Jack-O’s halo disappeared. During the mid-credits of Revelator, former friends turned sworn enemies turned frenemies Asuka and Frederick pretty much have one last declaration of war against each other, with Sin, I-No, and Raven as their witnesses -- Asuka even said “take good care of Aria”. Naturally from all of that, she’s not Jack-O anymore, right? Wrong. According to the game, what's inside of Jack-O is only a fragment / shard of Aria mixed in with Jack-O's projected personality (I think). How did they go from "let's do the fusion and guaranteed she'll return" to "yeah nah she ain't comin' back bro"

Xrd Revelator: "Pull this off successfully and Aria will fully revive as a human."

Strive: "Nah bruh. We lied. It just turned Jack-O human and what's inside her is only an unstable shard of Aria -- not the whole thing."

Back to the “final battle”, they don’t fight, rather Asuka removed the Flame of Corruption from Frederick's body (and somehow he got a haircut too). So really what was the fight in Rev2′s [After Story - A] for? Did he get nearly the life beaten out of him from Ky fighting dirty and left that crater in the park for nothing? Seems that way. Asuka lives on the moon and he's got a radio show now because (*bong rip*) that makes sense.

I’ll admit it’s a little cute that the feelings are mutual between Jack-O and Frederick -- he sees her as herself and not just a genetic copy but they expect us to think in the three weeks they've known each other that "oh shit I'm in love with this person" is believable -- and they live in the woods near a presumably 200+ year old space shuttle complete with the launchpad but come on now. That's some Russo Brothers level writing right there -- y'all remember Avengers: Endgame and how when he went across space and time to return the Infinity Stones, Steve Rogers threw everything away just so he could go back to his original era? The now depowered-so-he's-human-again Frederick Bulsara (the ex-gear and world's savior x times over formerly known as Sol Badguy) living in isolation away from his newfound family and friends gives off the same vibe. Especially after that one and only flashback where it's Aria's birthday and he was going to propose but the ring wasn't ready in time so he had that "error" to show instead.