#i was watching cherry magic and straight up told my sister if someone tried that on me it would sound like stepping into a packed hallway

[starrynite7114]

everything is you: nine

A/N: I figured, why not update this too? LOL So, I would like to already apologize. The first half of this chapter is very angsty and has mentions of sexual abuse. I know it gets tiring for this slow burn, but I promise it will be worth it. 

Thank you for all the support! I really appreciate it! Also, I posted the everything is you short: first meeting! Enjoy! Love you all!

everything is you

one : two : three : four : five : six : seven : eight

Word count: 9952

Warnings: Angst, sexual abuse, death

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life :  @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon  : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @itskiranbitch : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @aquamento : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen​

Thanks! @carlaangel86​ <3

Coco chuckled as he watched Alena take another shot. His baby sister called him over to San Diego and he decided to bring Riz over with him. Whenever Alena called he came and along with all his other brothers. They all had such a soft spot for Alena.

“Damn, so Monica is Cruz’s teacher? I mean, it’s been years, I’m sure it’s not a worry.” Riz reasoned with Alena.

“Doesn’t matter, he’ll be single soon and it’ll be just like all those romantic comedies and my Korean dramas.” Alena laughed before taking another shot. “It’s so smooth, I love drinking with you two. I hope we can still hang out once Angel and I are divorced.”

“Shut the fuck up Alena, we would disown Angel first before we would disown you.” Coco shook his head. “Why wasn’t Angel invited?”

“I don’t want to see Angel. We don’t always have to be together.”

Riz laughed. “Right, you tell him that.”

Angel has been blowing up Coco and Riz’s phone ever since they got to Alena’s. He was upset that he wasn’t invited, but he had to stay in Santo Padre and be with Cruz. Alena was in San Diego since she had a work emergency. 

“When was the longest time you didn’t see Angel? Was it the time he served?” Coco questioned. The club truly pulled through for Angel then, taking care of Alena and Cruz when he served time in jail a few years ago. 

It was a hellish 18 months and Cruz was only two years old. Alena held on strong and when he got out, Coco thought Angel would get his head out of his ass, he almost did, but this thing with the rebels popped through.

“Yeah, it was.” Alena frowned remembering that time. It was hard for her to be apart from Angel, but she tried to visit him all the time. His sentence was cut short to 18 months instead of the slated three. She was incredibly thankful for that. She documented every move Cruz made.

“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt when he got out?” Coco really hated watching this whole thing between Alena and Angel, mostly due to Alena. 

She was too good for him Angel. Not in the sense people thought, but more of the fact that, Alena was too kind to Angel. Out of her pure love for Angel, she stood by him regardless of his actions because she wanted to be there for him. He shouldn’t push her, but he wanted to. They were fucking adults, it was time to end the games.

“So when are you going to confess to Angel?” Riz questioned.

“The way I see it, you have nothing to lose Lenny.” Again, Coco was playing Devil’s Advocate, but maybe if Alena confessed, Angel would get his head out of his ass.

Alena was silent for a moment. She had nothing to lose, Coco was right. This also maybe the large amount of alcohol she consumed, but as people always said, her mother raised no bitch. “Fuck it, I’m going to call him.” Alena picked up her phone.

Riz and Coco picked up their shot glasses, encouraging her.

“Damn right, fuck social norms and tell that mother fucker you love him.” Riz encouraged. 

“You’re right!” Alena giggled, taking a swig straight from the Soju bottle. “Angel doesn’t love me, so the fuck what? I love him and he’s going to know.” 

Angel listened to Alena talking to whoever the fuck she was talking to, though he assumed it’s Coco and Riz since they told him that they would be going to Alena’s apartment. He wasn’t worried, he trusted them, but he was still antsy. His heart rate increased hearing Alena tell his brothers that she loved him, even if he didn’t love her.

He couldn’t wait to confess to this silly girl, the woman who’s had him since he could remember. 

“Cielo?” He called for her attention.

“Angel,” she dreamily greeted him. “How are you?”

“I’m good baby girl, are you doing okay?” He smirked, loving that tint of pink on her cheeks.

Alena nodded her head, biting her lip. “Do you have company?”

“Yeah baby, Cruz, but he’s asleep.” Angel moved his camera so she could see Cruz.

“My baby!” Alena squealed a little too loudly. She covered her mouth, giggling with Riz and Coco laughing in the background. 

“You having fun?”

“Always, they’re my favorite Mayans!” She blew kisses at the two who pretended to catch it. 

“What about me?” Angel pouted.

“You’re in a different league.” Alena scoffed, before she laughed. Angel loved seeing Alena so damn carefree. He just wished he was with her right now. “Angel, want to know a secret?” She moved closer to the screen, so she could whisper it to him. Drunk Alena was absolutely adorable, but she was also handsy. “I love you, not as a best friend, older brother type of love, which is disgusting, but I’m in love with you. I would give up anything for you. And I did, I gave up Paris for you because I just wanted you to have Cruz. When I first saw you hold Cruz, you should have seen the smile on your face.” 

Riz and Coco watched as Alena confessed to Angel. They slightly regretted encouraging her, but Alena needed this, so did Angel, Alena might not remember, which was fine, that’s what they’re here for, to record the whole thing. 

Angel felt his heart clenched as he watched the tears fall from Alena’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what Riz and Coco gave his wife, but he was appreciating this. It was definitely different to hear from Alena that she was going to walk away from him.

“I just want you to love me Angel. I want you to see me as more than a friend, I want you to love me, to hold me, to just be here for me.” Angel didn’t want Alena’s confession like this, but he figured this was as honest as he was going to get her without her self doubt plaguing her mind. “I remember during prom, I wanted you to take me because it would have been a magical night, but you took Emily’s friend to help EZ out. Then after that, every other woman came and you know, that’s okay, because you were happy. But I wanted you to look at me just once and tell me I was beautiful, that your eyes were only for me.” Alena wiped her eyes. “When I told you my coach was touching me inappropriately, you made no hesitation and helped me. When I told my father he accused me of not wanting to swim anymore, an ungrateful child. Then he kicked me out and you and your family took me in. I wanted to end my life, but it’s like you knew because you were always there when I was losing myself.” 

Riz and Coco’s heart broke as Alena told Angel how she felt. They always knew their relationship ran deep, but this was something else. Riz never knew about Alena’s coach, but Coco did. He also knew why Alena let the motherfucker touch him. Thinking about not having Alena in their lives, if she was successful with ending it all, their lives would be much dimmer, darker. And Angel wouldn’t be what he was, an obnoxious loved up puppy, who was honestly one of the best fathers’ they knew.

“But I know that you like being the hero, to take care of someone, which is why you tolerate me. I want to let you know that you don’t have to anymore. I love you, and because I do, I’m going to let you go. Fifteen years, I’ve been in love with you for fifteen years.” Alena smiled such a broken smile that Coco and Riz almost reached for her phone, but they were frozen. It was like she needed this, this had to happen. “You have Cruz now and when we divorce you’re free to do whatever you please, just please don’t take Cruz away from me. He’ll be all I have of you. I know he’s technically your son, but he’s my son too.”

Angel gripped the phone harder, the tears streaming down his face. Is this what he did to her? Is this how much he’s hurt her? He could never take Cruz away from her, he could never be away from her, neither of them could.

Alena took another drink of the bottle. “Want to know something pathetic?”

“Alena.” His voice was broken, running his fingers through his hair as the burden on Alena’s shoulders came out. 

“No, listen.” She placed her index finger against her lips, telling him to not speak. “I knew what I was getting into, knew what would happen if I let you in, but I didn’t care. For once, I felt like you saw me and it felt so good. We were a family, you, me and Cruz. You always made me feel wanted and loved during those brief moments that you would show how much you care for me. Dumb stupid and naive Alena.” She let out a sob, wiping the snot coming from her nose. “Every time I’m about to walk away you always reel me back in, but not this time. I’m letting you go, not to be with Victor or anything, but so you can meet the love of your life and have a family with her. I really wished we had a child, just so I can have them and Cruz.” She managed to smile into the camera. Finishing the bottle, she placed it on the table, not even registering Angel’s reaction to this whole thing. “I love you Angel Ignacio Reyes, and because of that, I wish you a lifetime of happiness and love, even without me. You don’t have to protect me anymore, remind me of my silly appointments and medication refills, you’ll be worry free, just like my father when he walked away from me. I won’t burden you with myself anymore.” She looked up at Riz and Coco. They could tell she was barely holding it together. The two looked at the broken young woman before them and immediately stood up. Riz took Alena, crushing her onto his chest while Coco took the phone. He looked at Angel who was a sobbing mess as well.

“I’m on my way.” 

EZ immediately came to take care of Cruz. He didn’t ask any questions, especially seeing how distraught Angel was and the fact he spoke to him. Angel got on his motorcycle and sped all the way to San Diego. When he arrived, Riz and Coco were on the couch, solemnly drinking. They looked up at him, ashamed of what occurred.

“Hermano, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She was telling us how much she loves you and we just encouraged her to confess to you since she had nothing to lose, we knew she had nothing to lose.” Coco sniffled, wiping his eyes. “I didn’t expect for her to,” Coco sighed. “You have to fix this Angel, Alena deserves better than this.”

“Where is she?” 

“Her room, she worked herself up and had an asthma attack.” Riz frowned. “She’s fine, we remembered how to use her nebulizer and gave her medications. She’s better now.”

“Thank you.” Angel’s eyes were locked on Alena’s closed door. “You two know where the futon and shit is.”

“Don’t worry about it, we got it. Just take care of your wife.” Coco’s heart broke watching Alena work herself up. They wanted to give Alena the night off, to release her inhibitions, but not like this. They both knew they wouldn’t leave till they saw Alena up and breathing later on in the day. 

Angel quickly made his way to her room, quietly opening and closing the door. He found Alena on the bed, still crying but not as worked up. She didn’t even get up to check who it was.

“Coco, can you get me more Soju, I feel like it’s leaving my body.” Alena giggled. “I can smell Angel.” 

Angel would have laughed if he wasn’t hurting so much. He did all of this shit to Alena, he hurt her so much. No amount of groveling would ever forgive his sins, but from now on, he was going to make sure he would treat her better, be better for her.

He was in such distress, he didn’t even put on his kutte. He just had sweatpants on and a hoodie. Taking off his hoodie, he placed it on Alena’s chair. Alena was facing her side of the bed. He put one knee on her bed and Alena still didn’t turn to face him. He laid on his side, placing a hand on her hip.

“Hey baby,” he whispered into her ear as he made himself comfortable.

Alena turned to face him then, her eyes were red from all the crying, eyelids puffy. She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek.

“Oh man, I must have drank so much, I’m imagining that Angel is here.” She caressed his cheek. “Hello Imaginary Angel, you feel and smell real.”

Angel had to smile at that. “You doing okay?” He brushed her hair back, making Alena close her eyes.

“Yes Imaginary Angel.” She offered him a small smile. “I hope Real Angel doesn’t hate me because of everything I put him through.”

“Alena, I could never hate you.” He felt his tears well up again. Hearing Alena say all those things, how she was going to kill herself, how he tolerated her, and how she was a burden, it shattered Angel’s heart. How could she even think that? “How can you think you’re a burden to me? That I tolerate you?”

“Because everyone does. I’m the girl that everyone walks all over and forgets. I’m the one that everyone needs till I serve my purpose. I’m the one that gives, because I want to help everyone. I’m sickly, weak, and everyone just tolerates me because they need me.” Alena took her hand off Angel’s face, placing it in between them. “All the women who befriended me wanted an in with Real Angel, EZ or my brother. Carla is the only person I genuinely have. Real Angel likes being the hero, he feels second best to his brother, which is crazy because he’s better than EZ. He has a big heart and he always saved me when I needed him. Maybe you can visit me imaginary Angel, so I won’t miss real Angel as much.” She closed her eyes, covering her mouth as she coughed. “I’m preparing for the day he walks away, but it’s really hard.” Her eyes opened, a few tears falling from her eyes, her voice breaking as she said the last word. Her voice was just above a whisper.

Fuck, Alena was killing him.

“Alena, listen to me. I love you, I really do, I’m sorry I took as long as I did, but you’re the love of my life. It’s not about tolerating you, you’re never been a burden to me. If anything, I felt you were tolerating me. That I was burdening you. You do so much for me and I’m a fucking idiot for never noticing. I’ve taken advantage of you, but never again.” And that was a promise. “You’ve done so much for me and Cruz. He loves you as much as I love you, maybe even more. You’re our life Alena. Don’t prepare for a life without me, because there is no life without you.”

Alena giggled, pinching Angel’s cheek. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Imaginary Angel is saying all the things I want real Angel to say. I hope you visit me often when Angel divorces me.” Alena snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her running his fingers through her hair.  “Imaginary Angel, I love Angel so much. Want to know a secret? The coach told me that if I didn’t let him touch me, that he would hurt Angel, cause he noticed how Angel always waited for me after practice. But don’t tell Angel because I never told him.” 

Angel froze hearing Alena’s words. 

That motherfucker did what now?

No, Alena would have told him.

No.

He pulled away from her and noticed how heavy her eyes were she was getting sleepy.

“Alena, hey, wake up.” He cupped her face, softly rubbing his thumb on her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered open, giving him a sleepy smile.

“Please tell me that isn’t true, please don’t tell me it is.”

“About the coach? It was imaginary Angel, he told me that if I told anyone, no one would believe me. That real Angel wouldn’t want me anymore cause I was tainted.” Alena intertwined their hands in between them. “He told me to think of real Angel while he was touching me, that I would enjoy it more. I didn’t, and he would get mad and hit me.” Alena frowned, looking at Angel’s chest as she spoke. “He tried to rape me the day Angel took that video of us. I never told Angel that my father let him in our home and he touched me there too. My father trusted him because he was the son of an old friend.”

Angel sat up, he couldn’t take it. Alena didn't do this, not for him. He wasn’t worth it. How could she let that happen? The rage within him was strong, beyond anything he ever felt. That motherfucker touched his precious Alena, using him for her nightmare.

He was going to find this motherfucker and he was going to kill him.

“Imaginary Angel, real Angel has been my hero and I would never want anyone to hurt him.”

“So it’s okay for you to be hurt for me?” Angel didn’t mean to be harsh, but he was angry.

“I can take it, for him I could. I’m strong to you know, for him and Cruz I am.”

“Alena,” Angel wiped his tears, running his fingers through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me? You had every opportunity to do so, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because he said he would hurt real Angel, I couldn’t risk that. Angel is all I have. My family could turn their backs on me, but he never did.” Alena looked down at him. “Can you hold me again imaginary Angel, you feel like real Angel and I just want to cherish every moment we have left together. Please come visit me when he’s gone.”

Angel hated that she was preparing for this life without him. That she was preparing to endure for him again as long as he was happy. He always planned on being better for Alena, but he definitely was this time around. There was no way Alena was going to do this again, keep things to herself. They were a team, a unit and he was going to have her believe it.

Angel immediately held her. He couldn’t stop the tears from coming down from his eyes. He was going to fix this, Alena would never have to feel this type of pain again. Once everything settled, he was going to find that coach and fucking kill him, something he should have done ages ago.

“It’s going to kill me to see him with someone else.” Alena was running her fingers up and down his back.

“You’re never going to see that cause I love you and only you.” Angel knew this reassurance wouldn’t register, but he would prove it to her.

Alena laughed. “Imaginary Angel, you really are saying everything I want Real Angel to say. You know, I hope he dates Adelita when we divorce. She would be good for him, he needs a strong woman to hold him down. Or maybe Monica, cause she’s good with kids and she was the one that got away.”

“You don’t think you’re strong cielo? You’re the strongest person I know.” And she was. For having to deal with him, Alena was the strongest person he knew. This was killing him. How could he want anyone else when he had her? “She isn’t the one that got away Alena, I willingly let her go.”

“Real Angel really loved her. And now she’s back, it’s like a romantic movie.” He heard her voice crack at her last word. He told her not to worry about it when they dropped off Cruz a few days ago, it was silly of him to think it would register or sink in for Alena.

“Alena, I fucking told you, Monica doesn’t mean anything to me.” 

“It’s okay, Imaginary Angel, you’re really boosting my confidence.” Alena giggled. 

“You’re driving me insane Alena. I don’t need anyone else, but you. If there is anyone that would be the one that got way, it would be you and that’s never going to happen.” Angel was determined to make Alena his, at least in her eyes because for everyone else, it’s been them for a long time. 

“Victor told me that he was going to help me become stronger. He’s such a nice guy. I would date him just so it’ll make the aching for Angel less.”

Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.

“That’s not going to happen Alena, I told you, it’s you and me. I’m not going to divorce you.”

“Maybe not you imaginary Angel.” Alena giggled again, rubbing her face against his chest. “You’re so warm. Want to know what sucks?”

“What?”

“I let Victor kiss me to see how it felt and it was nothing compared to Real Angel.” Alena sighed. “I’m pathetic. Everyone is compared to Angel, but I’m sure all the girls Angel dated, I fail in comparison to, especially Monica.” That wasn’t true. They failed in comparison to her. “When that woman was sewing his patch on, that hurt. But Angel was moving up in the club and I was so happy. I’m really going to have to avoid him, which is why I’m moving to New York.”

Angel did not like all the revelations that were going on. 

“New York?”

“Sssh, don’t tell Real Angel. Victor has been talking to me about this art program there and I really want to try. It would help since my life revolves around Angel. I’ll still be here for Cruz and visit him whenever I can, but I’m going to leave, unlike Paris, I’m going to go and nothing is going to stop me.”

She was doing it again. She was plotting to leave him.

Jokes on her because that just wasn’t happening.

“You think I would let you go?”

Alena pulled away from him, looking up at Angel.

“Well hopefully you don’t imaginary Angel, you’re going to keep me sane.” She bopped his nose with her finger. “But real Angel won’t care, he already has Cruz, I’m not useful anymore. Remember I told you, everyone cares till I’m no longer useful and I’m not. Geez, pay attention.” She laughed. “He can be with Monica.”

Angel wanted to shake Alena. How could she even think he wouldn’t care about her leaving him? How could she think Monica was the one that got away? That was hardly the case. Most of all, how could she think that he was going to throw her away because she was no longer useful? This was ridiculous.

“I know this isn’t registering to you right now, but I’m going to prove to you that I love you and I’m worth it. You’re the love of my life Alena, I would never let you go. I’m a selfish bastard and that’s fine, as long as I have you. I would be lost without you.”

Alena remained silent. And Angel wasn’t sure if she fell asleep.

“You think he’ll miss me.”

“I always miss you.”

Alena’s breathing evened out, her body relaxing against his. Angel laid on his back, placing Alena’s head on his chest. He was done with the games. His girl needed him and he would give her the world, whatever it took.

Angel reluctantly left Alena since he didn’t want her to freak out knowing he came to San Diego. He knew Alena wouldn’t be ready to talk about it, he wouldn’t push her either. So now, he was waiting with Cruz anxiously as Alena made her way down from San Diego. Coco and Riz stayed and he requested for them not to mention anything. This was between him and Alena.

The door opened and Cruz immediately jumped down the couch.

“Mama!” He ran over to Alena and she picked him up, showering him with kisses. 

“Hey Cruzie,” she cooed, rubbing their noses together. “Mama missed you.”

“I missed you!” He wrapped his arms around her neck. He peppered her with kisses as well making Alena smile.

Angel stood up and walked over to Alena. He took Cruz and placed him on the ground, making the young boy frown.

“Daddy, it’s Cruzie and mommy time.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I know little man. Daddy deserves love too.” Angel chuckled. He couldn’t help it. He hugged her, pulled away, cupped her face and kissed her. “Hey baby.” He pecked her lips one more time before stepping away. He saw the blush on her cheeks as she smiled, looking down at Cruz, not wanting to meet Angel’s gaze. He wasn’t obtuse of the effect he had on her, but after last night, he knew to not take advantage of what he had with Alena. His heart was still hurting.

She let that despicable man touch her to protect him. 

The rage he felt was indescribable. He felt powerless because he should have ended this man’s life. Alena told him it was only for a few months, but he doubted that now.

He was certain that it was ongoing for more than six months and that hurt him again. His precious Alena endured for him and whatever he suffered through was nothing. She thought he didn’t want her. His hot and coldness towards her left a mark. This would be something he’ll try to fix for the rest of their lives, but that was fine because Alena was worth it. 

They all sat on the couch, Alena strategically placing Cruz in between them.

“I was thinking we should go to the zoo tomorrow.” Angel’s eyes were just focused on Alena. Her confession, New York, everything was plaguing his mind. 

“Um, sure, I’ll ask Letty if she wants to come.” Alena kept her eyes trained on the television, PJ Mask was a stationary in their household.

“How was your night?” Angel questioned.

“Good, it says I FaceTimed you, did I really do that?” Alena hoped she didn’t say anything crazy. She had the craziest dream that she had a full blown confession to Angel and she was talking to an imaginary Angel. God, her dreams could be so vivid at times. 

“Yeah, you, Coco and Riz were just messing around.” 

Alena nodded their head. “Yeah, I had like eight bottles of Soju last night, unwinding to the fullest.”

Angel chuckled. “I bet. You doing good baby?”

Alena finally looked over at Angel and she smiled, nodding her head. “Yes, why? Am I missing something?”

“I’m just checking on you cielo.” 

“You don’t have to, I’m okay.”

“How can I not, you’re my wife, I always have to make sure you’re okay.”

Alena nodded her head. “Well from now on, don’t even fret over me, I’m fine.” 

This was it, she was pushing him away again. But not this time. He wasn’t going to let her.

“Tough shit Alena, I worry about you so regardless if you want it or not, I’m always going to check in.”

“You don’t have to worry about me Angel, you know I would tell you if something is going on. I’m an adult, I can handle myself you know.” Alena was curious why Angel was looking at her like she would break apart any minute. She didn’t like it and made her feel something else occurred last night.

“But that’s the thing, you wouldn’t tell me if something was bothering you because you’re trying to spare me.”

Alena was confused by his statement. Though it was true, she wondered why Angel was bringing it up.

Cruz looked at his father then his mother, cuddling closer to Alena. “Do I have a sibling yet?”

Alena and Angel looked at one another, bursting out in laughter. The tension that was rising was broken by their son.

“I thought we agreed on a puppy?” Alena scooped Cruz in her arms, blowing raspberries on his tummy. The gleeful shriek he let out made Angel chuckle.

“No, baby sister.” Cruz shook his head looking over at his father. “Right daddy? Baby sister?” Angel nodded his head in agreement. He wanted a little Alena.

“Why do you want a sister Cruzie? You don’t want a little brother?” Alena questioned.

“No, little sister so she looks like you.” Cruz crawled onto Alena’s lap. He placed his hands on her cheeks. “Then I can take care of her and protect her.”

Alena smiled, thinking of how much of a great big brother Cruz would be. “Yeah Cruzie? What will we name your baby sister if you get one?”

“Mmm,” Cruz thought for a moment. “Alena.”

Alena and Angel both chuckled. 

“Little man, we can’t name your baby sister after mama.” Angel turned to face them, his hand resting on Alena’s thigh. “How about Isabella?”

“I like that!” 

Alena and Angel listened to Cruz as he talked about all the things he could do with his baby sister. Angel looked up at Alena, her confession last night was still in his mind. He was thinking of all the things he could do for his wife, to prove to her that he was as devoted to her as she was to him. Maybe he couldn’t give up opportunities outside of Santo Padre like she could because he was a fuck up and stupid compared to his brother, but he’ll show her he was worthy.

==========

Angel pushed the cart down the aisle, looking at the list Alena gave him. Every once in a while, Angel did the grocery shopping to let Alena rest. She always did the grocery runs for the club and Vicky’s, the least he could do was to do it for their family. He left Cruz and Alena asleep on their bed after a morning of family painting. Much like while they’re sitting watching television, Alena kept her distance, mostly sticking by Cruz. 

He knew what she was doing, and this was not going to go on for long, not if he could help it.

Coco dumped four bags of chips in the cart, Angel giving him an incredulous look.

“First of all, who the fuck needs these much chips. Second of all, Alena likes the kettle chips, not plain old Lays.” Angel kept the Lays Cheddar Cheese and Sour Cream since he knew Alena liked that, but otherwise he took the other three bags, giving it back to Coco. “You call yourself her best friend? She doesn’t like any of the other ones.”

“They’re for me, idiot. Gilly has Alena’s picks.” Coco scoffed, placing the bags back down. Sure enough, Gilly came with a bag of the Lays a Cheddar Cheese along with the Ruffles version of the flavor. He had the kettle chips, original and the jalapeño ones as well. 

“You don’t usually go grocery shopping, you in the dog house?” Gilly questioned as he placed the bags down. 

“Surprised you haven’t told Gilly.” Angel continued to push the cart, adding the pasta sauce Alena requested. She made it easy on him, listing the exact brands and the alternatives he could get.

“He told me.” Gilly had his arms crossed, blocking Angel’s way. “So what’s the plan?”

“With what?” Angel grabbed a box of spaghetti, fettuccine and penne. 

“Alena, are you going to confess soon or are you going to continue to let her wallow on feeling unworthy of your love.”

Angel placed the list down on top of the eggs, narrowing his eyes at Gilly. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I don’t have to explain anything to you. What’s going on between me and my wife is between us. I appreciate your concern for my wife,” he emphasized the last two words. “But I plan on telling her what is going on soon.”

“You always say that, then you get fucking cold feet and you take back what you say. It’s different this time, I know. But how much more can Alena take? This girl devoted her life to you and the best you can do is confess to her? I get it, that would mean the world to her, but you have to give her a little more Angel. She’s moved mountains for you and took care of your son.” Angel was his brother, something he recognized and held dearly, but much like everyone, he watched this dance for far too long. Last night was what broke the camel’s back for everyone. It seemed that it was a consensus that decided that if Angel took back his words this time, they would make it a point to get Alena the fuck away from him. They wouldn’t let her stand by him. Angel was their brother, but this was tough love.

“You don’t think I fucking know that? You don’t think I know that she gave up her dreams so she can help me? I don’t need you reminding of my shortcomings with Alena cause it’s always in the back of my mind.” Angel didn’t want to have this conversation in the middle of the grocery aisle, but he was thankful that it was early in the afternoon. “I’m not going to take it back. Even though you fuckers hope I do so you can make a move, you all can fuck yourselves.” Angel knew it wasn’t true, but he wanted to push this aside. This wasn’t the right place for this conversation.

“You’re a damn idiot.” Gilly shook his head, moving out of the way. 

The boys continued to get everything on Alena’s list, adding a few things they knew her and Cruz would like. As they made their way to the check out lines, Angel looked over to the side, almost bumping the cart. His eyes landed on Alena’s former coach, Coach Marvin Henderson. As soon as Marvin’s eyes landed on Angel, his eyes drifted to his kutte, Gilly and Coco before immediately turning the other way. Angel could tell how the fear just sunk in on his body, that tensed up. He kept looking back making sure Angel didn’t follow. He was with a woman who looked to be his wife, she was his girlfriend then, and she knew what he did then. Her eyes landed on Angel and she pushed him forward, to create as much distance as possible.

But no distance would be too great to Angel.

His clock was ticking and even he knew that.

Their reputation preceded them, everyone in this small town spoke of them, whether it was out of fear, disdain, or awe, everyone in the town knew what they were capable of. Marvin had left town twelve years ago, Angel made sure he wouldn’t dare return and since he had, the consequences of his disregard to Angel’s warning would be paid in full.

“You know that guy?” Gilly questioned.

“That was Alena’s coach.” Coco was already around then, he knew this guy. “Are you going to take care of that?” Coco turned to Angel. 

“Yep.”

==========

The three Mayans came home and found Alena awake. Cruz was still napping and Alena was doing the laundry. 

Angel noticed that Alena was wiping her eyes and frowned. He walked over to her, softly calling out to her. “Cielo?” Alena didn’t answer, tilting his head, he noticed that she had her headphones on.

She looked up and wiped her eyes. “Hey! I didn’t hear you guys.” She took off her headphones. “Sorry, it was the confession part in my drama and I was just listening to it.” She laughed. Moving to the side she waved hello to Gilly and Coco who were bringing stuff in. “Are you guys staying for dinner? I’m making that baked ziti you guys like.”

“Fuck yes!” Coco called out as he walked out of the door to grab the rest of the bags.

“You spoil us Lenny.” Gilly added.

“Wait, no, it’s family dinner tonight. They can go fuck off.” Angel wiped her tears, reminding him of how she looked last night. He fucking hated seeing her cry. It didn’t even matter if it was some show that made her cry, he hated seeing it.

“I’m okay,” she moved her face away, picking up the basket of clothing she brought in from the garage. 

“Why do you keep pulling away from me?” Angel also hated it when Alena wouldn’t let him comfort her. He fucking got it, she was trying to get used to living without him, but tough shit, that wasn’t happening.

“I’m not, I don’t need you to wipe my tears, I’m fine.” She walked over to her room and just as he’s about to follow her, Coco stopped him. 

“What’s up?”

“They found him, he lives two streets over.” Coco showed him the text message from Riz. “What’s the plan?”

“We fucking kill him.”

“Kill who?” 

Angel and Coco turned to Alena who was holding the empty laundry basket. She eyed them curiously, unsure of what she walked into. Alena wasn’t obtuse and Angel told her everything. 

“We’re gonna kill Creeper, he’s being such a pain in the ass.” Angel chuckled, lying smoothly. “He fucked the order up for our work shirts.”

“Oh, I ordered it for him.”

Coco had to hold back a laugh along with Gilly as Angel scrambled to come up with an excuse.

“Did I say work shirt? Sorry baby, I meant some club shirts he ordered.” Angel felt like an idiot. How could he forget that Alena was the one who ordered their work shirts?

“No it’s okay, no big deal.” Alena laughed it off, slightly enjoying how freaked out Angel appeared. She went back to the garage leaving the three stooges behind.

“You couldn’t tell me she was behind me?”

“I didn’t fucking see her either with you blocking her.” Coco chuckled. “So we doing this tonight?”

“No point in prolonging it, I want him gone. He’s never going to touch my wife ever again.” Angel was quite pleased that Marvin had decided to show his face again. From what they gathered, he’s been back for months, thinking past grievances have been buried. But they haven’t. 

“Are you going to tell her?” Coco nodded his head towards the closed garage door.

“She wouldn’t want for us to kill him.” Angel sighed. He should tell Alena, but she didn’t need to know. She didn’t need this in her conscience. 

==========

Angel walked out of the clubhouse, the night time sky finally taking over. He didn’t want to prolong this since Alena and Cruz were waiting for him. They already had dinner, and made some excuse that Bishop needed them at the clubhouse to keep Alena from questioning anything. But she hardly ever did. She always waited till Angel was ready to tell her. He walked past EZ, not sparing his brother a glance. Coco and Gilly flanked his sides. Gilly unlocked the van slipping in the driver’s seat. Coco covered the license plate.

“Make sure you do this clean, burn their bodies on the other side.” Bishop advised. 

Angel nodded his head and slid in the passenger side. God bless technology and Riz being a whiz, they figured out that the two lived at a home two streets away from Alena and Angel’s home. The fact this mad has the audacity to move so close pissed off Angel. There were no cameras and if there were, they were cutting the power. 

It was close to one in the morning and Angel was going to make sure these two wastes would never see the light of day again. 

They arrived at the street, parking a block away. Before going inside, they slipped on their ski masks, kutte tucked in the van. Angel’s signature chains were missing so they wouldn’t be able to identify them. Coco and Gilly went to the back, cutting the electricity off. 

The two were still awake, so a shriek was heard due to Marvin’s wife freaking out. Angel knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open it. The door opened, it was Marvin. Angel immediately punched him on the face, and before his wife could let out another shriek, he shot her right in the head. The silencer muffled any sound and she dropped to the ground. Marvin wanted to scream upon seeing his wife’s lifeless body, but he expected this.

He didn’t want to move back, but Sheila became cocky, thinking that whatever happened all those years ago was forgotten, he knew better.

Angel locked the door as Marvin moved away from Angel.

“If you want money, I have twenty five thousand dollars in the safe upstairs.”

“Why the fuck would you keep twenty-five grand in your safe?” Coco wasn’t even sure why he would ask, but why would a coach stash that much fucking money at home?

“Or do you want the drugs? They’re in the safe too.”

“Drugs?” Gilly looked at Angel.

Whatever this man was saying was not registering. All he could think about was Alena’s confession and how this man threatened to hurt him, how he used to hurt her, and how he made her life miserable.

‘He told me to think of real Angel while he was touching me, that I would enjoy it more. I didn’t, and he would get mad and hit me.’

Angel took off his mask and Marvin immediately backed away further.

“Angel, man, I left when you asked me to leave.” Marvin was intimidated by Angel then all those years ago. For a nineteen year old, he had an intimidating presence that even rattled Marvin. He knew sexually assaulting Alena was wrong, but she was such a sweet innocent girl, he couldn’t help it. 

“So why did you come back?” Angel made his way over to him, Marvin hitting the wall behind him, he had no more escape. 

“Because I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Do you know that her father kicked her out of their home? Cause he couldn’t believe that you would ever do something so despicable to someone you’ve known since she was a child?” Angel looked menacing. Coco and Gilly cleaned up Sheila, leaving Angel knowing this was something he needed to do on his own. “Did you know that she hasn’t swam in years because every time she did, she would panic thinking of you? Did you know that she had a hard time being intimate since the only thing she could think about were the despicable actions you did to her?” Angel crouched down in front of him, placing the muzzle of his gun resting against Marvin’s head. “You told her to think of me when you touched her, cause it would feel good since you knew she liked me.”

“She loved you Angel.” Marvin’s tears streamed down his face, mixing with the blood coming down from his nose. “I heard you were married, why does it matter what happened with Alena? You obviously got rid of her.”

Angel chuckled, leaning over so he was right beside his ear. “She’s my wife.” He growled out.

Marvin froze then. 

How could he be so stupid to think that Alena wasn’t his wife. He’s seen Alena around town, but he made sure that their paths never crossed, he knew once they did, he would be done for. Though he prayed that maybe Angel was no longer in Alena’s life since he was married. Unfortunately for him, he ran into Angel. He and Sheila were going to leave tomorrow and never look back. If he thought Angel looked menacing then, it was a whole nother level now. 

“Angel, listen, you want money? It’s yours. The drugs I have in the safe are worth at least ten grand. I’ll leave right now and never look back, just please, don’t kill me.” He couldn’t beg for Sheila’s life, but he could plead for his.

“When she pleaded for you to stop, did you stop?” Angel roughly grabbed his chin, pushing his head against the muzzle of his gun. 

Marvin sobbed harder, he knew he wouldn’t win this. Cause he didn’t stop, he would hit her or tell her to do it for Angel. 

“You didn’t right?” Angel let go of his chin, hitting him with the back of his gun. “Answer me motherfucker, did you fucking stop?”

“No, I didn’t.” He managed to sob out, sobs that increased when he heard Angel cock back his barrel. “Angel, I’m sorry, please, I can’t take back what I did, but if I could, I would.” His eyes drifted to Coco and Gilly who also had their guns out. “I apologize to her, I saw her a few years back, she was with her kid. She forgave me.” Well, maybe she didn’t and she looked frightened more than anything, but to him, he said his piece and he apologized. That counted for something. 

He remembered that, she called him frightened and was scared that Marvin would hurt Cruz. She thought she was being irrational, but he understood her fear and now, he further understood why she thought he would use Cruz against her.

She had nightmares for two weeks, screaming for Marvin to stop, she had to take some time off work. It was hell and Angel remembered how she wouldn’t tell him the extent of Marvin’s actions. He didn’t push her, he just held her.

He didn’t give a flying fuck if Marvin thought she forgave him. Angel didn’t, and even if she did that didn’t save his life.

Angel didn’t reply and stood up. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t end your life fucking sooner.” Before Marvin could even utter a reply, Angel unloaded his clip on him. He thought it would be satisfying, and it was, but it could never take back his actions towards Alena.

But at least he was preventing it from occurring again.

“You okay?” He heard Coco ask.

Coco and Gilly stood by, watching, hearing Marvin’s words. They felt for Alena and were glad that Angel took care of him.

“No, but I will be.”

==========

Alena woke up, rubbing her eyes. She fell asleep watching the Punisher. She was trying to make a mental note as to where she left off. She sat up and gasped when she saw the silhouette of a person sitting on her armchair. She quickly grabbed her glasses and found Angel sitting down. It was a deja vu moment when she found him sitting down, flipping his keys around after what occurred with EZ.

“Angel?” She called out. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“A few hours.” Angel came home and didn’t even undress. The dirt of the desert was still present on his clothing. When he entered their room, the Punisher was playing, with Alena sound asleep, her head on his pillow. He wasn’t even sure why he shed tears. It wasn’t for Marvin. It was for what occurred with Alena. He sighed. “Can you please come here?”

Alena followed his request, stopping a few feet away from him.

“Cielo, just please come closer, can I hold you?”

Alena was reluctant and her reluctance wounded Angel. But as quick as her reluctance appeared, she quickly sat on his lap, leaning back so her weight was more towards his knees.

“You know I’ll always protect you, right?” Angel placed a hand on her hip and another cupped her face.

She nodded her head. “Of course.” She placed her hand on top of the one that rested on her face. A few strands of his hair were on his forehead. She combed his hair back with her fingers, Angel’s eyes closing at the sensation.

“Do you trust me?” He opened his eyes.

“With my life.”

Angel pulled her against him, surprising Alena. He had his head buried at the crook of her neck, Alena wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you all those years ago, but that’ll never happen again.”

“What are you talking about?” Alena was confused, but she continued to hold him.

“With your coach, I should have caught on when you stopped hugging me, when you flinched whenever I came close to you. When you began to wear clothing that covered your whole body during the summer.” Angel sighed, his warm breath against her skin.

“It’s okay, Angel. No one could have known. You’ve done so much for me, please don’t fret over me. I’m good, I can take care of myself.” Alena assured him.

“Stop pulling away from me. I know what you’re trying to do, trying to practice some crazy scenario where I’m no longer around, pulling away so it’ll hurt less. Stop it.” He sat back, his hands resting on her thighs, running them up and down. “I love you Alena, there’s never going to be a life where I don’t have you beside me. I get it, you’re trying to protect your heart, but please give me a chance.”

Alena didn’t know what to say. Angel has said I love you to her before, numerous times actually. But this felt different.

‘No, don’t be stupid. This is how you always fall back in. You can keep Angel in your life without any expectations from him.’

She leaned forward, crushing their lips together and Angel immediately responded. She rested her arms around the nape of his neck, moaning against his mouth as she felt Angel’s fingers graze the skin under her breast, his hand had slipped inside her shirt. She pulled away, placing kisses on his jawline down his neck. She bit down, making Angel groan and thrust up into her. Kissing him one more time, she palmed his growing erection making Angel moan out her name. They hadn’t been intimate like this for some time and Angel needed her.

“Sorry, I’m on my period.” She stood up, Angel’s mouth dropping open when he saw the devilish smirk on his sweet, innocent Alena. He turned her into this and he was so fucking proud.

“Oh baby, just wait till you’re done with your cycle.” He smacked her ass. “Or we can fuck in the shower, is it your first day?” Angel stood up, wrapping his arms around her from behind. 

He nibbles at her ear making Alena giggle. “It is, sorry.” She went to use the bathroom, walking back to the room, Angel was waiting outside.

“I gotta take a shower, want to join?”

Alena shook her head, kissed his cheek and went back to bed. Alena was half asleep when Angel joined her in bed, pulling her against him. 

“You never have to worry about that coach ever again cielo.” She felt his lips on her forehead, and as much as she wanted to ask for clarification, sleep took over.

==========

Alena filled out the form for the eye doctor. Angel sat beside her, playing candy crush on his phone. Alena didn’t want him to come, but Angel insisted since he didn’t want for her to go alone. Currently, Alena was on a two week break from work since Mr. Johnson attended one of his nieces’ wedding. Victor invited Alena, but she declined. 

“So, your cycle usually lasts 4 days?” Angel asked in a low tone.

She looked at him and that devilish smirk was ridiculous, but honestly sexy. “Yes, it’s my 3rd day though, so, sorry.” Alena has been teasing Angel. He literally woke up to her giving him a blowjob yesterday morning. He wasn’t complaining, but as soon as he offered to do something to her, she would swat his hand away and walk away, preparing Cruz for school. Today, he woke up to her giving him a hand job and there was just so much he could take without touching her.

Alena was driving him insane.

“Cielo, you keep teasing me, you know payback is a bitch right?” 

“Ssh,” Alena shushed him as she continued to fill out the form.

Angel just chuckled, going back to his game.

Alena gave the form and did a few tests before the Ophthalmologist saw her. Alena really didn’t want Angel to go since her Ophthalmologist, Dr. Wu was kind of cute. It was definitely nice eye candy to have. 

When they called her to the back, Alena somehow convinced Angel to just stay behind. She was led to one of the examination rooms and thanked the assistant Maggie.

“Your husband is quite good looking.” Maggie commented making Alena laugh. Her eye doctor was in another town, so they weren’t exactly familiar with the Mayans.

“Thanks Maggie.” 

Alena sat down on the chair, waiting for Dr. Wu to arrive. Once he did, Alena sat up straight and smiled. He was a good looking man, who was kind and had a really nice smile. His hair was short in length, slightly spiked up on the front ends.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite patient, how are you Alena?” Dr. Wu walked in with her file.

Alena blushed. “Good, but we both know your favorite is my mother.”

“Not true, though I do tell your mother she’s my favorite so she won’t hurt me.” Dr. Wu was a family friend. Prior to her father leaving, she saw Nick often. They eventually lost touch and recently reconnected a few years back.

Alena laughed at that. “And I don’t blame you. My mother is quite intimidating.”

Angel was busy playing his game, wondering if Alena always took this long to finish with her eye appointment. It’s been thirty minutes and he was certain it didn’t take this long. The door opened and when he looked up, his brows furrowed. Alena walked out, eyes trained on the man with her. The waiting room was empty since it was lunch time and she was the last patient they took before closing for lunch. He gave her a bag and smiled down at her. Before Angel could even register what was going on, the doctor hugged Alena, a little too long for his liking and pulled away.

Now he knew why she wanted him to stay behind.

It was Nick Wu, her old childhood friend that he saw her with from time to time when he picked her up. He never introduced himself, and Nick never bothered either.

“It was nice seeing you again, you should definitely come to my parents’ wedding anniversary. Your mom and brother are going. And if it makes you feel more at ease, your father isn’t invited.” Nick wasn’t an idiot and knew what occurred with their family. 

“I’ll let you know, thanks again Dr. Wu.” Alena beamed up at him.

“Lena, you can call me Nick. It’s not like we haven’t known one another.”

“You ready to go babe?” Angel cut in, wrapping an arm around Alena’s shoulders. He looked at this doctor and smirked. “I’m Angel, Alena’s husband.” He stuck his hand out. 

“Nick, pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard great things about you.” He shook his hand. And he has, Alena’s mother always gushed about Angel and Alena has mentioned him a few times. 

“Wish I could say the same about you.” 

“I’ll see you, bye Nick.” She wrapped an arm around Angel and pulled him away from the office. 

Once they exited, Angel didn’t let her go until they got to her car. He opened the door for her and she slid in, placing her purse on the floor. Angel slid in at the driver’s side, turning the car on.

“What was that?” Angel turned to look over at Alena. 

“Hmm?” 

“Is that why you prefer to go alone? Cause it’s Nick?” Angel was jealous, he could admit that. Alena always preferred going to her eye doctor alone and now it made sense.

“Angel, he’s like an old family friend.” Alena explained.

“That I’ve never met.”

“Yes, it happens. Nick never came to Santo Padre.” Alena replied. “And you’ve met him, well sort of, when you used to pick me up from school.”

Angel narrowed his eyes. “Is he married?”

“No, he’s single I believe.” Alena wasn’t exactly sure since she never actually asked Nick. “I’m not sure, I don’t really ask him.”

“Is he one of the people your mother had lined up for you?”

“I don’t know? What’s with all the questions?” Alena smiles teasingly. “Are you jealous?”

“Alena, what kind of a fucking question is that? Of course I am. I didn’t even fucking know he was still a part of your life.” He didn’t like Nick then, he still didn’t now. Angel was unreasonable, but he always liked being number one in Alena’s life. Nick came close to replacing him and he could never forget that.

“Angel, he’s just an old family friend. Don’t worry about him.” Alena didn’t want Angel to be upset over nothing. She didn’t like Nick in that way. He was good looking, but she wouldn’t want to be with someone who had such a close connection to her father. And she also never saw him in that way. She admired him, but it just stayed there.

Angel didn’t reply and drove off. It’s not like he didn’t trust Alena, but it was crazy how he was more aware of all the men he could have lost Alena too. 

The rest of the day went off without a hitch, he just had a small run with the club and he went with Alena to her eye appointment. She got new glasses, so he was glad they went today. He was still thinking about that doctor. He didn’t think Alena was cheating on him, but it just made him uneasy. Were there other men that Alena didn’t tell him about? Alena was also oblivious to men hitting on her unless it was very straightforward.

“Angel?” He looked over at Alena who was standing at the end of the couch where his feet were. He was relaxing here since he wanted to watch television and not bother Alena. And he also might be upset at her little display at the doctor’s office.

“Cielo, you okay?” Angel grimaced seeing the tears in Alena’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you just hold me? If you don’t want to, it’s okay,” Alena approached him, frowning at how small she felt. She hated reliving that assault with her former coach. “Never mind, sorry.”

Angel grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. Alena laid on top of him, wrapping her arms around Angel. 

”I got you, I always do.” He never knew he would miss holding her as much as he did, but he truly missed her. He kissed her forehead, running his fingers through her hair.

“Thank you.”

“You want to go out to brunch tomorrow?”

“With Cruz?”

“No baby, just you and me.”

“Sure.” He could hear Alena fading and he felt himself fading.

This was all he wanted in his life, to have Alena in his arms. 

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen (pt 9)

A/N: it’s reader backstory time! This part also includes season 6 spoilers :) xx

word count: 4.0k 

tw: mentions of violence, abuse, cursing, other criminal minds stuff!

masterlist:

The beginning of letter #8 was scribbled out, like you’d written but decided the words weren’t quite right. Spencer tried to look through the black ink lines to see what you wrote, but most of it was smudged from tears. 

“This was the night everything changed, Spencer. This was the beginning of the end, but at the time it just felt like the beginning. It was a little over a year ago, sorry for skipping some of the middle. I could’ve written a 5,000 page novel about every little moment I had with you. If I had the time, I would. I’d write about every date night, every bouquet of roses, every case you held my hand through. I thought about writing about a lot more of the ‘happy’ parts, but they would’ve just been fun, little, anecdotes and made my heart hurt more. I decided on only highlighting the important parts, not that the happy parts were unimportant. I think they may be the most important, they’re the only things that kept me going at the end. Those parts gave me hope that maybe one day we’d get back to those people. But we didn’t and those people are long gone. Now all the bad memories outweigh the good ones. I need you to see the ugly parts. I always showed you those, and you still told me they were beautiful in some way.  

“Everything is a masterpiece if you look at it in the right way” 

So here’s the ugly Spence, any clue how to make this beautiful? How do I make this a ‘masterpiece’? Because I don’t know. 

Before I start, I want you to put on some regular clothes and pack up the box and put it in your car. Remember how in the first letter I said you’d need to go somewhere? This is that letter. So get in your crappy car that brought us together and drive to the place where it all started to fall apart: Meridian Hill Park.”

Spencer stopped reading and did as you asked. He took the sweatshirt off and hung it in his closet in a place he’d see it everyday. He didn’t really own any ‘regular clothes’ so he ended up in slacks and a dress shirt, his version of regular. He grabbed the box and the last of the coffee in a to-go mug and got in the car. He slipped the disc from letter 2 in and listened to Stacy’s Mom on a low volume. Between that and the snow, he felt like you were right there with him. 

When he got to the park, he sat in his car for a moment and reopened the letter. 

“There? Good. The bench we sat at is next to the blue bird bath and under that huge oak tree. Go sit at it.”

Spencer got out of the car, now wearing a heavy wool coat and scarf, and made his way to that spot. After most of your dates you’d go for a stroll around that park and always end up at that exact bench. You’d talk for hours, or sometimes you’d people watch. Either way, that bench became another one of your places. He set the box down on his left, the spot where you usually sat, and kept reading.

“That particular night was in December, during that weird week in between Christmas and New Years when time doesn’t feel real and the world is almost at a stand still. (My favorite week of the year) I had begged you to go to the movies with me. I dragged you to see Frozen. 

“Frozen?” You said, crinkling your nose, “Out of all the movies?”

I laughed and told you that I needed to see it because Mia had and already loved it. I think I said something like, “If I’m going to be her cool Aunt we have to see it.”

And you agreed, because you’d do anything for me. You always would. So two thirty-somethings went to see a six o’clock showing of Frozen on a Tuesday. We looked ridiculous; your messenger bag was overflowing with snacks and we were the only people there without a child. 

I loved it though, and you did too. When the movie was over we sat in the lobby at a table and I finished my slurpee as you told me about the real story of Frozen. 

“It’s loosely based on ‘The Snow Queen’ by Hans Christian Andersen from 1845. They both have a snow Queen, reindeer, trolls, frozen hearts, and snow creatures, but that’s where the similarities end. In the original story there is a horrible magic mirror and,” You finally paused to breathe, “ROBBERS!”

I laughed, “Aren’t all fairytales actually awful? We’ve just disney-ified them for kids?”

You nodded, “Most fairy tales in their original form were gruesome to the extreme. In Cinderella, the step-sisters had their feet mutilated to fit into the shoe.”

I yawned, “That’s why I always stuck to Pixar.”

We laughed and threw away our million candy wrappers. As we were leaving I saw a photo booth, one of those old one’s like I went in with all my high school boyfriends. I pulled you over to it and you grimaced, “It’s a small space CRAWLING with germs Y/N!” you whined to me, “Do you know how many people have been in there?” 

I rolled my eyes, “It’ll take thirty seconds and I will sanitize after!”

I tugged your arm in and we both barely fit in the booth. You pulled me onto your lap and four poses later we had two photo strips covered in pictures of you kissing my cheek and us smiling. That’s your momento for this letter.”

Spencer reached in and grabbed the photo strip delicately between his fingers. It was one of those tacky ones that looked like a roll of film and all the pictures were in black and white. The first one was the two of you smiling as wide as you could, the second you stuck your tongue out and Spencer scrunched up his nose, for the third he kissed your cheek, and the last one you turned your head to meet him. His heart softened for a moment, remembering how soft and sweet your kisses were. They were usually delicate, like you were kissing the finest of china. Or they were intense, like you were drowning and he was coming up for air. He felt warm, despite the snow falling all around him. 

“This is my copy. We printed two. I don’t know where yours is, I just hope it isn’t in the trash. I know it’s another photograph; you just got one of those from JJ’s wedding.  But I love photographs. I have a million of you and I. I always used to shove my phone in your face and you’d block it with your hands. I haven’t been able to bring myself to delete them yet. I just love pictures. They capture moments, the good and the bad. Sometimes the only thing that can get the feelings across is a photo, so here’s four. 

I remember sticking them in my purse as we walked out of the theater hand in hand and found ourselves in this park. I love it when the cherry blossom’s bloom, but they weren’t blooming. We found our way to this exact bench that you’re sitting on right now. I think it has the best view of the fountain. You put your arm around me and I snuggled into you. You were trying to talk about work; something about Rossi and Gideon? I didn’t know. I was so tired, I couldn’t even focus. I remember just staring at the dry fountain; they turn it off when the weather gets too cold. 

“Don’t you agree?” You said, but I didn’t register it, “Y/N?”

I looked up at you and blinked a few times. I sat up and moved myself off of you, “What? Sorry about that I—“ my own yawn interrupted me, “I’m just really tired.”

You looked at me so concerned. Your pretty, honey brown eyes always could see right through me. 

“Tired? But we went to sleep at ten last night, you should’ve had at least seven hours.”

I just shrugged and you raised your eyebrows at me, waiting for me to spill. 

“I couldn’t fall asleep the last few nights.”

I avoided your prying gaze that felt red hot on my skin even in the freezing air and played with the locket around my neck, as I usually do when I’m nervous. 

“Y/N,” You said and grabbed my two hands to make me look at you. I looked you straight in the eyes. 

“Talk to me.”

I sighed, “No.”

“No?” You looked offended, I don’t blame you. 

“No,” I said plainly. It looked like I was picking a fight, but I wasn’t. I just wasn’t ready to tell you. It’s so weird, we had spent over two years together by then, and I still couldn’t tell you. I don’t know why. It wasn’t you. You make me feel comfortable and safe. I think talking about it made it more real for me, you know? And I just didn’t want it to be real. 

“Is it the nightmares? Are they back again?” 

I just nodded. Of course you knew, you always knew.

“Y/N, we’ve been through this. You have to talk about them.”

I groaned and you dropped my hands to run yours through your hair. Frustrated is how you felt in that moment, and I don’t blame you. I was mad at myself too. 

“I know! But can’t I just not want to talk about it?”

You stood up and paced in front of me, “You have to talk to someone! Even if it isn’t me.”

“That’s the thing! I don’t trust anyone except you with it!”

You sounded defeated, “Then why don’t you tell me? You haven’t slept, Y/N. You need to take care of yourself. I can’t just sit back and watch you do this to yourself. It’s not healthy.”

That isn’t the last time I heard you say that, but it was the first. That became your favorite phrase at the end. “It’s not healthy,” as if you’re the judge of what’s healthy and not.

My heart ached at the sight of you; purple scarf disheveled and your eye bags a similar color. Your hair was tousled from running your hands through it and you looked like you might cry. I patted the seat next to me so you would sit down and then before I could even think them, the words were tumbling out of my mouth. Every. Damn. Detail.”

He remembered it so clearly, as if it were yesterday. The cold air bit at your skin causing you to shiver and pull your coat tighter. The only warmth either of you felt was what was radiating off the other. It wasn’t much. 

“It’s the nightmare, like the nightmare. The same one from Jacksonville. It just won’t go away. I wake up sweaty and disoriented and I can’t breathe.” 

Silence came. How hadn't he heard you wake up the last few nights? Why didn’t he notice? He silently scolded himself while watching your feet draw little shapes in the snow. The flakes landed on your hair perfectly and the light made you look like you had a halo. An angel. His angel.

You got yourself together and back tracked, “Do you know what I did before the BAU Spence?”

He thought for a moment and realized he didn’t. He had no idea. It was a strange feeling. He knew the last four or so years of your life so well. He spent two and some change of them with you, together, but he knew little about you before then. He knew about your family and your childhood, but that was it. Your early twenties were a secret. 

“No, I don’t,” He croaked, running his hands nervously down his pants, as if they were sweaty, “Rossi just called you one day and the next you were here.”

You sighed and didn’t dare look at him, “I worked with Organized Crime in California. With the Bratva.”

“The russian mafia?” His voice went high, like it always did when he was confused. 

“Let me start at the beginning,” You took a deep breath and held it for a moment, “I went to school, got my criminal justice degree, you know the usual stuff. I worked on various other criminal psychology and forensic degrees and certs until I turned twenty-three.”

“So you could join the bureau,” he finished your sentence. 

You pursed your lips and nodded, “Yeah, it was my life long dream. So I joined at 23, found myself in organized crimes twenty weeks later. I was on the fast track. Not as fast as you of course,” You smiled and bumped your shoulder with his, earning a warm smile that made you feel more comfortable. 

“I worked various cases for a year or two. Low level stuff, you know? Until they actually needed me.”

He was nervous to hear it now, half regretting asking, and half celebrating the fact that you’d share your deepest darkest with him. 

“You know like in old movies when the gangster has a pretty girl in a skimpy dress on his lap? And she pretends to know nothing about what he does? Yeah that was me. Turns out I was the right age and type for Alexei. So there I was. Twenty-five. Had no idea what I was doing, going undercover.”

“Like Emily did with Doyle,” he said. 

You nodded, “Like Emily and Doyle. That’s part of why we got along so well, we both had similar experiences. She knew what the long haul was like.”

“How long were you under?” Spencer whispered. 

“Sixteen months.”

His eyes went wide, “Sixteen?”

“Yup,” you popped the ‘p’. 

“That’s a long time.”

“You don’t become a mafia kingpin’s girlfriend overnight, Reid.”

He laughed. You didn’t. 

“See you guys do the short stints. A night, maybe a day or so. It’s different. It’s draining. Constantly worrying about knowing the details of my cover while also not losing myself in the process. Sometimes I couldn’t tell where the cover ended and I started. I was paranoid, looking over my shoulder constantly. If they knew who I was, I’d get killed instantly.”

He stiffened next to you, but you carried on. 

“And you can’t break character. You have to do whatever they want. I had to be his girlfriend. I had to pretend to love him. You know how tiring that is? Pretending to be in love with a man you’re trying to take down? Pretending to like what he likes? Pretending to want to be a part of the sick shit they did?”

He sighed, “You had to do everything he wanted.”

His heart sank and he suddenly felt angry. He needed to punch this guy in the face. 

“Everything,” You practically spit out, venom dripping from the words, “And Alexei’s favorite pastime was killing people who he thought were disloyal. He’d switch it up. Some days he liked to make them suffer, others it was one between the eyes and out. He liked to make me watch.  He liked hurting the dancers too. They had a club, they always have a damn club, and those girls were the only friends I had for months. He liked to hurt them too, defile them. ‘Ruin them’ he’d say.”

Spencer’s arm reached around you now. The cold was getting to both of you, but you didn’t budge from the bench. You didn’t curl into him for safety. You just stared at the snow. 

“He liked when it hurt. He liked to throw things at me. Bruise me. Pull my hair. God I hated it,” your voice was a mere whisper now. Spencer’s grip around you tightened with every word. He wanted to protect you. He always wanted to protect you. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” He mumbled into your hair. A few frozen tears dripped down your cheeks. You sat like that, silently sobbing while remembering what had happened to you. What you’d seen. 

“What happened to him?”

You took a shaky breath, “I begged them to let me out. We had enough. I had stacks and stacks of pictures and evidence. But they didn’t let me. My awful handler would always say ‘just a few more days, Y/N, just a few.’ Then that would become another month. The job only needed eight months. I was there double that. Finally, they did the raid. I got kudos and congratulations. A promotion and a couple extra bucks, as if that would take away what I had been through. I wasn’t myself anymore.”

You took a thick swallow, finding it hard to breathe, “So I quit.”

Spencer held you still, not moving a muscle. 

“I quit. I gave up my dream. I moved back to Connecticut. I made coffee at Starbucks for $7.25 an hour. I read. I went on trips and vacations. I needed to find myself again. Then one day you guys stumbled into them and Rossi called me since I knew first hand how they worked. That was all I needed. A taste of it again, and I was all in. So a week later I showed up, Rossi raving about my ‘ability to get information out of people.’ I developed the skill to survive, Spence.”

You turned into him now, head on his chest. 

“So the nightmares are those memories. The girl’s faces. The young kids who messed up jobs. They’re hurting and I can’t save them. That’s the nightmare.”

You sat in silence, letting the words hang in the air between you. You were tired and spent, leaning your full body weight into him. He was just trying to relax and keep calm. He was pissed, and a little bit was directed at you. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N, but thank you for telling me,” His voice was low and raspy, his head spinning. For just over two years he had been your person. Your rock. And he didn’t know this about you? Why couldn’t you tell him? He told you all of his dirty secrets; his dad, the kidnapping, the drugs, and you ‘couldn’t tell him?’ Why?

“That’s why I was so scared when Emily ‘died.’” You used air quotes around the last word, “Her nightmare came true.”

“Yours won’t.”

You sniffled and rubbed your ice cold nose, “I know. You guys keep me safe.”

You looked up at him, falling into his big doe eyes. They were hurt and twisty, but full of love. And you looked at him like he was everything in the world. In that moment, he was. 

He treated you differently after that night. He was always kind and gentle, but he approached you with a new sense of care. He didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. Someone finally understood you, and it felt so good. But one thing always bothered him, why did you wait so long to tell him? He didn’t think he’d ever know. 

“I loved you and trusted you enough to lay it all out for you, and you took it all in. You told me you wouldn’t let it change anything, but it did. I thought it changed us for the better. Maybe it didn’t, I’m still not sure. You told me it made me stronger, more resilient. It made you love me more, if that was even possible. It made me human. You told me Ernest Hemingway once said “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” You said I was strong at those broken places. 

So that’s what this photostrip is to me. It’s the day I officially took all of my walls down and showed you the parts of me that aren’t pretty, and you didn’t run away. You stayed and kissed me on that freezing cold park bench and warmed me up with a hug I never wanted to leave. I thought after that it would take something much greater than you or I to break this apart, like divine intervention. We were impenetrable, but then again, so was the Titanic.

That night I didn’t have any nightmares. I didn’t have a bad one until a few weeks ago. I missed having you next to me during it. You were right, talking about it does help. I’ll find someone out here to talk to, I promise. 

That night, all the walls were finally down. I think that was my fatal mistake, if only I kept them up a little while longer.

So look at us, all young and innocent before the world left us jaded and hurt. I miss your cheek kisses and the way your hands feel snaking around my waist. I miss your fact dumps and the way you feel like home. Thank you for taking me at my worst, loving me, and leaving me better than I was when you got there. Just like being under, it’s now hard for me to tell where I end and you begin. So many parts of you became parts of me. I’ll have to work on finding myself again, and this time I won’t do it over grande java-chip frappucinos, I’ll do it over case files. I’m finally done running away.” 

Spencer’s throat was dry and his palms were so sweaty the ink was bleeding underneath his fingers. How was he sweating when it was barely ten degrees outside? He put the letter and photo strip back in the box and stuffed it in the passenger seat of his car before walking back into the park. 

The fountain was off again, but he remembered what it looked like running. He walked the same paths you had walked with him a million times. He never wanted to walk them alone. He wondered if Seattle had any nice parks like this for you to walk through. He hoped you were close to Pike Place Market so you could order a coffee at the first ever Starbucks. He hoped you were happy. 

He remembered the way the park looked in the summertime, all lush, green grass and kid’s playing. He remembered the picnic you went on when the blanket flew away. He remembered kissing you under huge trees and feeding birds. As he walked around, he could almost see it, shadows of the people you used to be.  

He walked for maybe an hour before retreating back to his crappy car and crying for a moment. He didn’t turn the music back on as he drove home. He just thought of the way your body racked with tears at the nightmares and how he could always calm you down, almost instantly. He wondered who would see you through the nightmares now? They’re too hard to do alone. 

He didn’t remember when he got home, seemingly having driven on auto-pilot the whole time. When he got back inside he dropped the box and made a beeline for where his copy of your photo strip was, on one of his many shelves covered in books. He grabbed the book he had started six months ago. It was a gift from Rossi and he only read half of it, a rarity for him. When he got halfway through, everything happened and he couldn’t bring himself to open the book up anymore. He rifled through the pages of  ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and found the photo strip where it was acting as a bookmark on the page where he had left off. He took it out and slammed the book closed, not wanting to read any of the words, even by accident. 

He took the strip over and compared it to yours. His was worn and bent and the shiny photo paper had dulled from the many pages he had stuck it between. Yours was in perfect condition, still shiny and even a little sticky, like it hadn’t been touched. He stared at them, wondering what your life would be now if you could’ve held onto the people in that photo booth. There were so many what-ifs, he didn’t even know where to begin. He knew he couldn’t just leave it at these letters, he needed more. He needed to see you and he fully intended on breaking your ground rules, but not until he was finished. He walked back to the box with newfound vigor, and grabbed #9.

PART 10!

taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings

@ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog​ @blameitonthenight @goldentournesol​

(i think some tags aren’t working so if anyone knows how to fix that pls lmk :)

[gongju-juice]

8. Once Upon a Southern Night

The Wrath of Nature

Warnings: Fighting, the usual, language

It was a cold, damp morning when they arrived. Nature seemed to acknowledge the supernatural army’s presence, for not even a bird or cricket made a single chirp in the golden morning. Beside you, Jasper, your family, your friends, Zacarias, and the wolf tribe stood. You held your boyfriend’s hand, trying not to tremble from pure fear and the billowing wind that was so oddly cold this late in the spring. 

And when you saw her, your terror quadrupled. 

Her olive skin lightly sparkled in the morning rays, thick, black hair cascading elegantly down her bare, uncovered shoulders. She was dressed like she could be headed to Florida for vacation instead of the chilly environment that was Washington. Her piercing red eyes found yours, and your heart quivered in response.

Preston was even more unnerving. His hair had been let down, straight and free which covered his ears. He wore a long black coat that stopped at his mid-thighs as well as a wide-brimmed hat and leather black boots. He was eerily relaxed for a person who intended to go to war. 

Behind them were the newborns. They sauntered in the shadow of the trees, their glowing eyes full of hate and pure instinct. Some were young—looking no older than the age of fifteen. Others appeared to be in their late twenties. But none were over the age of thirty.

“Friends,” Maria called, but her voice was barely loud enough for you to make out. She was having a private conversation with the wolves, one she did not intend for you to hear. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen some of your faces. You, especially, Jasper. It’s been—what? Just over a century now.”

“Take your newborns and leave,” Jasper advised. “We left on a mutual agreement that you supported my search for tranquility. Does that agreement no longer stand?”

She tsked. “Jasper, Jasper, ever the romantic. You never liked violence, did you? I may be immortal, but a hundred years is still a long time. And besides, the Captain made such a tempting offer.”

Preston walked a few paces forward, his heels crunching in the soft grass. “I’ve waited forever for this. I thought my Camille was gone forever, that is, until I heard of a little baby being born in New Orleans. You wouldn’t believe how fast news spreads in the Crescent City.”

“So why didn’t you take her then?” your mother demanded. “Before I adopted her, before she had the chance to fall in love with Jasper, her mate?”

“I had to get my thirst under control. Living completely unrestrained is so satisfying, but when it comes to associating with humans, it’s impossible to stay decent. I didn’t know at the time that witches could change, but if I did, trust me, you or any of you rotten Cullens would have gotten to her first.”

Your breath caught in your throat. And to think this man had known about you along.

“That’s right, Jasper,” he chuckled, much to Jasper’s dismay. “I was watching from afar—every birthday, every school dance, and every vacation. You think she belongs to you? I know her inside and out, 19th century and 21st century. And when I was finally ready to bring her back with me, you just had to interfere.”

“You disgust me,” you spat. “You couldn’t win me over properly, so you had to become a perv. I will never love you.”

He lifted his head in the air, his dark eyes closed. “Well, then, I guess we’ll have to do things the hard way.”

The newborns behind him began charging, and those around you met them, alabaster limbs meeting alabaster targets. The young vampires were faster, stronger. But the Cullens and your friends’ combined experience forced them back until they could be dealt with individually.

In front of you, Zacarias and Ava worked hard keeping the waves of bodies back. It was then that you noticed the small, determined girl standing in between Maria and Preston. She looked no older than ten, someone who must’ve been easily manipulated to do their bidding. But one thing for sure, she was definitely a witch. And a powerful one at that.

“I should do something!” you cried. “I’m a witch, I can fight!”

Jasper held you back. “Your skills are not up to par. If you go out there, you’ll be killed. Or worse, Preston will get to you.”

Suddenly, a pale white arm came flying past you. Emmett barreled near carrying a decapitated body. His bulging muscles sparkled from the effort.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll have him ‘em all in no time.”

But that’s when Maria broke out of her formation. She wrangled Alice by her throat, her dainty legs swinging in the empty air. 

“If you won’t face me, then I’ll make you come.” 

“Alice, no!”

Jasper sprung towards them, his lightning speed barely registering in your mind. Alice’s face was contorted, the sickening crack of her neck like shattering glass. Maria smiled menacingly.

But before he could get there, his body was gripped in an invisible force that froze him in place. His amber eyes were completely overcome with a blue glow. Zacarias and Ava both worked to free him—Ava concentrating on Maria’s steele grip and Zacarias focusing on the tiny witch’s magic.

The hair behind your ear fluttered, you felt his cold breath in its stead.

“I told you. You are mine, you will always be mine.”

You tried to propel yourself away, but he snatched you by your arm, pulling you across his shoulder like a sack of rice. It was futile to fight like you did, to beat your fists on his back and kick your legs. But nevertheless, you struggled in vain.

“Y/N!” your mother called, but she was thrown down by a newborn so hard, her torso shattered from the force. And Ava, she tried to get to you, but the little witch wrapped her in blue light, her powers and range of mobility completely incapacitated. Meanwhile, Zacarias tried to hold the front for both the vampires and Maria.

This is it, you thought. Back to your chains. Preston would not give up his tirade. His muscles tensed and you sensed he was preparing to run. Before he could do so, however, a line of sun-tanned bodies emerged from the thick throes of the forest.

He stopped, his eyes widening in rage. “No! No! We had a deal!”

The first one to speak had long, gray braids covered in beads and ribbons that fell down her back. Her skin was golden brown and covered in elaborate tattoos which stretched down her arms. 

“The deal was that you’d take care of the girl, restore her back to her proper time. That was the only reason we allowed Maaliyah to come with you. But then we learned your true intentions—and no witch would ever bring you back to the 19th century.”

He shook his head, placing you on the ground beside him. “We belong together, Queen Lovie. In the 1860s. Help us restore the timeline, we don’t belong here.”

“No,” she said, “you do. You’re a vampire, you aged as a vampire should. But she was de-aged and taken to this time and century. She will go back, but you will stay.”

She waved her hand, and you were blinded in white light.

You looked around and you were standing in the Oakleigh mansion’s library. A wall of books lined the wall, silk curtains fluttering from the afternoon breeze. In the corner of the room was a crumpled American flag on the cherry wood floor, and up on the wall was the red and blue Confederate flag proudly displayed on the wall. 

You approached the glossy desk, examining the thin papers covering the surface. A broad newspaper, The Mobile Press Register, sat on one of the open bibles. The date at the top read, December 25, 1862.

“It’s you,” you whispered, lifting your eyes. “You’re my mother.”

She was dressed in a servant’s dress, her thick hair unmoisturized and unkempt due to the hard years of work in the fields. But she looked just like you, and she resembled your sister, Ava. 

“For years I’ve watched you from the spirit realm, watching you grow and mature under the care of a stranger. I watched you do things your father and I only dreamed we could see come true.” Reaching forward, she brushed her calloused fingers against your cheek.

You were filled with memories from another life—playing in dirt-floor shacks, braiding the other little girls’ hair with flowers and twigs, singing songs by the riverside on Sunday mornings. It was your life on the plantation, a happy, pleasant life. Your happiness did not solely revolve around Preston, and for years, the two of you encountered a rift from the ages of ten until fifteen. 

It wasn’t until his sixteen birthday did he start looking at you in that way, and it was only because his friends and male family members did it first. He wanted his own girl to call his own, something he could completely control and possess outside the realm of fancy dresses the daughters of wealthy girls flaunted when they visited the estate.

He never loved you—not the way a real man loves a woman. If his desire had a color, it would be blazing red. But Jasper. Jasper’s love was tender like lavender. Gentle and light like cornflower blue.

“I won’t let them undo what I sacrificed my life for,” she promised. “I knew they would try this eventually. That’s why I cast a spell, forever keeping you in the future. I won’t let you come back to this place, I won’t ever let you experience that pain—the pain you felt when my grandchild was lost.”

She waved her hand, and the view of the room began to fade.

“Please, Mama!” you cried, falling to your knees and the skirt of her dress. “I will never see you again! I lost so many good memories of you. . .I don’t even remember your name.”

She kneeled down, placing a feather-like kiss on the top of your forehead. Together, you cried in the receding reality of the room. She was sending you back home.

“Nothing—not time nor man—could take you away from me, baby. I will always be in your heart, even if you can’t quite remember it all. I would rather you hold on to the feeling, the love we had, rather than the details. Take that love and give it to Carmine, to the Cullens, and to Jasper.”

You opened her eyes, and she was gone. Elizabeth. Her name was Elizabeth.

“That damned woman,” Queen Lovie laughed mirthlessly, her hands resting on her hips. “She just don’t know when to quit—even after death. Well then, I guess if the Goddess would have it so, there’s nothing we can do.”

“But what about us?” Preston shouted. “The deal we had?”

“There is no deal, don’t you see? If she would have you, then by all means, I wish you a happily ever after. But it seems she hates you as much as you hate yourself,” Darla, Queen Lovie’s attendant, snapped. “And the witches have nothing to do with that.”

Maria’s grip failed, and Alice came bouncing to her feet as she ran away. Now the playing field was unequally matched. The newborns, in the meantime, were slaughtered by the Cullens and friends, it was just Maria and Preston on the opposing side. 

“It’s over,” you said. “You lost. Accept it, and move on. Life isn’t over, Preston. You have centuries to change your ways.”

He hung his head, fists curled at his side. He lunged.

You held him in mid-air. Your meeting with your mother completely empowered you. You were not some scared little girl. He did not own you, and he never would.

“I could kill you. Nobody would ever miss you. Nobody would ever care. But your life is not mine to claim. Every creature is subject to the wrath of nature, and you will meet that same fate.”

He shuddered violently before his eyes transformed from its vibrant crimson to their river gray. His brilliant pale skin became darker and darker until it was naturally tan, and the inhuman strength once residing within him gradually drained away.

“What. . .what did you do to me?”

“I made you human,” you explained. “To reflect on your actions. No matter what, if a vampire ever tries to turn you, not only will you die, but they will die too. You’re going to spend the next seventy or so years of your human existence regretting ever threatening my family. Since you blame Jasper so much for your vampiric life, you can thank him for delivering you back out into your second human life.”

He fell to the ground, coughing at the sudden impact. Maria’s wild eyes flashed at you, weighing her options. But you knew and she knew; she couldn’t get away.

“But you, bitch, I’m sending you straight to hell.”

When it was over, everybody rushed to their loved ones, throwing their arms around them, holding them close. The emotions were too much, you cried into Jasper’s chest as he cradled you. You refused to put him through the pain of killing two of the closest people in his lives. Yes, the Major would relish in their deaths, but Jasper—your Jasper would feel their pain. He would never be the same.

He didn’t have to say anything, but he professed his love for you as he held you quietly in the midst of the celebration. You were finally together, obstructed by no one or nothing. He reciprocated your emotions which multiplied twice as much, which then came back to you once again. It was a never ending cycle of love and joy, you felt high off of it.

“She really is the most powerful witch there is,” Zacarias said, breathlessly. “Her mother passed on her powers. She. . .teach me for crying out loud!”

Your mom, Carmine, wrapped you and Jasper both in her strong embrace. You didn’t feel the loss of a mother, but the addition of another. One to watch you on Earth and another to watch you in heaven.

One more chapter left and it’s sMuT.

Be safe mah bois, and remember: Black Lives Matter

@frozenhuntress67

Part Six  Part Seven

[arcadiaoaksusedbooks]

Event: Fountain of Youth

As his mother took a nap, Balor took her phone and tapped around the address book for a certain number. It should be about noon where she was in the world, he just hoped his aunt would pick up the phone when it rang. It ran about three times before going straight to camera mode.

“Hai, moshi moshi~!” Alora chirped with a high pitched voice. She had on sunglasses, a sunhat that didn’t flatter her at all, wearing a tank top and jean shorts while sitting in a grove of pink trees. All of this, along with the audio, took Balor a couple seconds to respond.

“Mushy mushy?” he greeted back with confusion, making his aunt laugh.

“That’s how you answer the phone in Japan. How are you doing, Balor? You’re just in time for my flower viewing picnic.”

“...what?” he asked flatly. Alora turned the phone to a small square shaped box with various foods Balor didn’t recognize in them. There were several more boxes nearby, unopened, as his aunt listed a bunch of foods and words he didn’t know. He was mostly tuning them out until Alora tilted her phone to bring her face back into view.

“...but you didn’t call to see what I brought on my picnic. What’s up with you and mom?”

Finally. Balor slumped in his seat as he tried to explain.

“My birthday is coming up--”

“Yep! I’ve got you a ton of stuff from here that I think you’re gonna like a lot.” Alora chuckled. “But you can’t have any of it until the end of the month, okay?”

“--but what I want most is a sibling.”

Alora paused before suddenly bursting out laughing. This just made Balor feel worse about his thoughts, and he slumped harder. Alora recovered after a few seconds.

“Booger, that’s up to your mom and pop, not you.”

“Everyone says that!” the young troll growled.

“Okay, well, why do you want a sibling so bad? You lonely? Need someone to share your toys with? Need someone to take the blame when you eat all the condiments from the freezer for the third time in a month?”

“No! I just want my mom to be happy!” Balor blurted out loudly. “She’s super sad and distant all the time, and all I really want more than anything else in the world is to just see her happy and smiling again! She’s always happy around babies! So I want her and dad to make more babies so she’s finally happy again!”

He felt like crying after that outburst and he wasn’t sure why. It also made Alora go quiet. She moved herself to lean against the tree, no longer smiling or teasing.

“Balor, you’re a kind and caring kid. You’ve really inherited your mother’s generous spirit.”

“BUT?!” Balor spat out, daring his own aunt to continue. She didn’t seem threatened at all.

“Wanting someone else to be happy for your own benefit is pretty selfish. I know you love your mom, and you want her to be happy or make her happy, but if you’re just doing it for your own peace of mind, well, that’s not a very kind thing to do.” This made Balor pause and start to wipe tears away. “Besides, it’s your birthday this month, not hers. You could save the ‘make mom happy’ wants for next month when it is her birthday, alright?”

“Yeah...” Balor groaned. “She’s just been sad a lot lately. I don’t like seeing her like that.”

“Something happen?”

“I don’t know. We don’t talk much anymore, or do anything together.”

“Have you asked her?”

“No...” Balor mumbled, hiding his face.

“That sounds like step number one to me. Ask her what’s up and what you can do. And think about what you’d like for your own birthday. Maybe ask in a passive way what she would like for her birthday, then focus on that when your celebrations are over. How does that sound?”

“I guess...” The whelp continued to mumble. Alora made a thinking face before smirking a bit.

“Is the adolescence kicking in finally?”

“...what’s that?”

“It’s the stage between childhood and adulthood. Most trolls sit through it for a good two hundred years. It makes you moody and indecisive, aggressive and not wanting to do anything people tell you.”

“Mmmmmph!” Balor grunted, making Alora chuckle.

“Sounds like you’ve got it tough. Double the reason to tell your mom about how you’re feeling. She can’t help you if she doesn’t know.”

“She treats me like a baby whenever I talk to her...”

“....have you told her that?”

“Whenever I do, she backs off and... stays backed off. Like she can’t help.”

“I think she’s just trying to give you space. You’re a growing boy, and as a Shardborn troll, you’re growing waaaaaay faster than a normal troll. You look and sound about a hundred and ten, and it’s your FIRST birthday coming up! You’re going through a lot in a very short amount of time, and it’s gonna be a couple hundred years until it all catches up. Or at least until you’re considered your average troll. None of that is your fault, and you’re Nadia’s first child. She has zero experience raising a kid, human or troll. You’re both working through your trials together, so you need to tell her how you’re feeling and what’s going on, and she needs to listen.”

Balor tried to listen, feeling more and more miserable as Alora explains, sounding pretty serious for once.

“....sometimes I wish I wasn’t Shardborn.” Balor grunts.

“Hey, I know it’s hard.” Alora sympathized. “But it’s not all bad, right? I heard you went to the zoo the other day and got to pet an elephant, ride a camel, feed some goats and chickens, watch a wolf howl..... you wouldn’t have been able to do that if you were still a diaper wearing baby, would you?”

“No.”

“Or explore your woods. Or get your own floor of a wizard’s tower. Or know magic that makes even your mom jealous. Would you rather not have any of that until two hundred years from now?”

Why did Balor hesitate? What made him wish he was just a normal troll? He did like doing all of those things, he liked who he was, but at the same time he hated feeling this way. And if being a quickly growing Shardborn troll was the price he had to pay to have all these wonderful things in life but feel so confused and horrible....

“No. I like doing those things now.” he said numbly.

“I know Elisi is visiting, and she’s raised at least fifty Shardborn trolls in her life. I bet she knows exactly how you feel and what’s going on. Why don’t you ask her, I’m sure she can help you out better than I could. And you know you can tell her anything, right?”

Elisi was one hundred thousand times more protective than Nadia was, and was terrible at keeping secrets. So was Alora, but at least the former Gumm Gumm didn’t judge like her sisters did. Balor wasn’t sure how to talk to Aunt E without feeling like a baby again.

.....wait.....

He felt an epiphany grow rapidly in his thoughts, and just barely kept his excitement at bay. He had the most AMAZING IDEA!

“Okay. I’ll do that.” he agreed to Alora, hoping to end the call soon. He had a lot of work to do. “But thanks for talking to me, Auntie A.”

“Anytime, booger.” Alora chuckled, which just made Balor frown again.

“...stop calling me booger?” 

“Anytime, shitbird.” Alora teased. “Anything else going on that you wanna chat about?”

“Nah. I need to go ask Auntie E about some stuff. Can I call you back later?”

“Sure. I’ll be out here for the rest of the day, having my cherry blossom picnic. By myself. I’ll send more videos with stuff I found I think you’ll like. Cheer up, my dude, okay?”

“Okay.” Balor nodded. “Have fun in Japan. Love you, Auntie.”

“Love you too, kiddo. Ja ne~!”

“Jaw-nay...” Balor wished awkwardly, and the call hung up. Quickly and carefully leaving his mom’s phone where he found it, he rushed off into the woods.

There was a lot to gather in a short amount of time!

-------------------------------------------

Moon up, Nadia and Elisi were just finishing dinner. Nadia was in a turkey mood and Elisi helped with some potato gratin and steamed veggies. Both were chatting about their day so far, things they wanted to catch up on, and plans for the rest of the week. Disneyland was in the cards, but it was going to get busy closer and closer to the weekend.

The conversation got a bit more hushed when it came time to talk about Balor’s birthday present.

“I’ve been hard at work on it for a week.” Nadia giggled in hushed tones. “Glasswork isn’t what it used to be. Now it’s just a matter of what to put in the tank.”

“How big is it?”

“Sixty gallons so far. And I’ve made an oval shaped one just in case. I think it’s a nice shape.”

“Fish prefer corners.” Elisi explained. “So the rectangle one will be better. Gods, it’s been ages since I last tried to raise fish. I’m sure someone at the pet store can give better advise than me.”

Nadia smiled brightly. Balor loved fish so much, so it was natural to assume his own fish tank with plenty of fish to care for would be perfect. He wouldn’t be so lonely, and maybe the pestering for baby siblings would stop for a month or so. By then, she’d be ready, maybe...

There was a thump in Balor’s room, which sounded like him falling out of bed. Again. Elisi chuckled.

“Speak of the handsome little devil.” she chuckled. “Want me to tell him dinner’s almost ready?”

“I’ll get him.” Nadia insisted, stepping away from the stove to Balor’s room. Elisi let her go to start putting turkey meat and veggies onto plates. Not even a minute goes by when the shriek rose in pitch up and down the tower. 

Elisi dropped the plate to run for it, immediately spilling food and porcelain all over the kitchen floor. She bounded up to the third floor of the tower to try and find her sister and nephew, ready to beat whatever startled or hurt them. The second she stopped in front of Nadia, she looked around frantically for the fight waiting for her. There was none.

Nadia was crumpled on the floor, with a look of horror, hyperventilating as her body commanded her to shed tears and cry. Balor was nowhere to be immediately seen. Elisi’s nerves started to freeze up. Something terrible happened and she couldn’t pinpoint what.

“Nadia?” Elisi asked in a frightened whisper. Nadia looked up to her older sister, and slowly raised herself to her knees, holding a cloth bundle in her hands. Something wriggled in it, peeping for attention. Elisi slowly came foreword, and moved the cloth away to see what Nadia was holding for dear life.

It was a baby Yateveo pup. No bigger than Nadia’s palm. Tanned in color, eyes still unopened, moving his head around and peeping for food. Some familiar horn jewelry was shuffled from the movement and clambered to the floor, with no owner to wear them. Or at least, the owner was now too young to wear them. 

Elisi was still not sure what was in front of her. Where was Balor? Who or what was Nadia holding? Before Elisi could instinctively call out for her nephew, a parchment of paper and a glass bottle caught her attention on Balor’s bed. She walked to it to investigate. The bottle was bone dry, and smelled sweet but strong. The paper had Balor’s handwriting on it.

Mom,

You’ve seemed really sad lately. But really happy when you have babies to take care of and watch over. I grew up from being a baby, so you stopped being so happy. So I changed myself back into one. I’m sorry if I scared you, but this way, you can raise me like a normal troll and I can grow as one. So we can be a normal family again, and you have a baby to take care of if dad won’t give you one.

I love you, mom. All I want is to see you happy every day again. Being a baby again is the only way I can do that. It’s all I want for my birthday.

See you again in a couple hundred years,

Balor, Son of Angor

“Balor, what the fu--” Elisi exclaimed as Nadia again shrieked in horror. Neither had any idea what to do now. Both were panicking. 

Tiny little Balor peeped louder and louder until he started to cry in despair. He was so hungry.

[kurtty-drabbles]

The Omen au (part 13)

N/A: MERCIFUL SHORT IF I CAN DO IT.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead

Michael remembers, oh so fondly as mixed with some bitter feelings, how some kids in the TV or rather some kids in real life in his mom´s school would play fetch or make up some games to entertain themselves and now, Michael is at the loss, because, he´s not a mere watcher and can´t change the channel of TV if he wishes.

Bobby Drake and Spike made up a new game using their mutations and are having fun and Michael is watching and is unsure of what to do or say, of course, he knows about bullies in his favourite show (over-exaggeration in those cases as TV´s bullies are a trope in itself) but how is bullying in real life?

"Hey, blue?" Spike speaks breaking the silence around Michael´s area and jolting the blue boy. "Were you really living in an attic?" Spike asked in an insensitive way even if is by accident. And well, Spike seems to get this is a personal question and tries to mend this. "I meet the Morlocks last month. It was ...something I´ll not forget"

Michael bites his lips and nods. "I lived in the attic as much I can remember" and Michael is ready to fight if they give him pity looks, but, to his surprise, Bobby told him about the things his family make him endure. So, is not just Raven who was delusional.

"Listen, blue, wanna play with us? You look like you could do something else besides think of anything else" Bobby suggested and Michael nods. Yes, he´s powerful and all that, but, in the end, what´s the big deal in being powerful if no one asks you to play with you?

Meanwhile, Kitty watches as Michael seems to get along with people. Yes, one day playing with others won´t heal years and years in the attic she knows that, but still, is a small step in the right decision.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Scott, for his own surprise, is taking Michael out and talking with him, not once he forgets what Prof X mentioned and how powerful the boy truly is, but, looking at Michael Darkholme right now it certainly makes Scott have doubts about Prof X´s judgment even if a little bit.

Michael can manipulate people by using the truth and that´s a more efficacy way to do so, however, when they´re having a bro moment someone enters the mansion calling for Kitty.

For a moment, Michael thought it was his mother, Raven, ready to kill everyone and take him back, but, turns out is not his mother, but, is Kitty´s real mother, Teresa Pryde.

"Kitty, sweetie, come here" the woman hugs her daughter without missing a beat as she´s speaking about tales of Nordic Gods and Thanos and only Prof X seems to know what´s she talking about. "Kitty, come with me, look all this magic stuff is dangerous...you can die, I...that witch told me and show me things that I still have a hard time to digest," her eyes meet with Michael as she speaks again. "Kitty, you saved the anti-christ and there are consequences for that"

"Mom? Don´t call Michael like that...and I can´t go" she couldn´t finish as her mother is trying to take her away but Kitty phase right away. "Mom, I won´t go"

Terry Pryde peering at her. "Kitty, you´re on a dangerous path...I can´t lose you"

"Then don´t make me choose. Be here with me, if you saw how dangerous it was, then tell me so I can avoid this so-called deadly fate. Don´t make me pick between you and Michael"

Terry then confesses something. "Kitty...I´m afraid. I´m really afraid and I don´t know what to do"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Mystique got the news that Sabertooth is more unstable then possible and is making love with trees and this means two things or the mutant finally lost any assemble of sanity or Michael´s power is growing enough to cast illusions this level.

Each option is worrisome and Mystique has to resort on her last plan. She calls Rogue and that damn Cajun she insists she has no feelings over to meet her, and as the Cajun is annoying enough to the point Mystique wants to punch the daylights out of him, and oh how she wants to do that, Raven needs all the help she can for this task.

"So, let me get this straight, this brother who was kept in the attic, you know like all rational mothers do, is the antichrist?" Gambit asked crossing his arms and having an ace fiddling in his fingers as his expression is passive at the best.

Rogue knows what the Cajun is thinking but she has no time to defend her mother´s actions now. "Look, we may have done some bad actions, but, all we wanted was to protect him. Remy, he´s the antichrist...do you know how many people would like to use him or kill him?" Rogue asked in a pleading tone and that´s a first since Remy knows Rogue she would rather punch you than ask for help.

"How can I say no to your request, Cherri, but...let´s be real, what´s the chance of Michael want to return to you is slim to none....even if I do find him...he may not want to go back and I don´t kidnap traumatized kids" Gambit conclude looking at Raven too long and is clear as day that Gambit scorn with Raven as much she does with the Cajun.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Veela is safer with Clea, which is a nice thought if one forgets that Clea works for Doom now, and this is something that is eating away all Wanda´s thoughts at the moment. Doom has no desire to hurt the child, but, Doom lies and Doom has no problem in exploiting the weak and vulnerable.

If the worst comes by...Wanda thought to herself if the worst comes by, maybe, me and Pietro could raise the kid...Only if the worst comes out.

And someone puts a hand on her shoulder prompting Wanda back to reality. Pietro is not entirely sure of Wanda´s plans nor her full involvement with Doom, but, he can get an idea. "Wanda, are you sure?" he asked in a barely whisper and Wanda would like to say no, she does not want to do this but she has no autonomy in the fact.

"He saved you, my only family, so I ought to pay him back." is her final answer as Thor, the God of thunder enters in the room and sees all the Avengers looking at Thor with a mix of sadness, betray and anger.

"Thor...are you making deals with Avengers´ enemies?" Cap America asked as Cap Marvel is more than ready to take this to a fistfight if is needed.

"Yes, I did that to save someone and I would do it again"

"Working for your crazy sister?" Cap Marvel shouts "disgusting! We thought you were better. Better than Loki but you´re no better than that lying snake"

Tony adds too. "Working with Doom as well? Thor, come on ....you´re brighter than this" and concludes "all this to have the antichrist...Thor...I thought you are better than us, but...I was wrong"

And Thor has little patience to explain himself and soon the Avengers expelled Thor from their group and Wanda is the only one who is conflicted about the situation, after all, all is happening according to Doom´s plans.

[lemonsandstrawberries]

The Pitted Olive

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

universe: Draq Queen!AU (Tony Stark as a drag queen)

summary: One of Steve’s favorite places in New York is a drag queen bar, where one day, he meets his queen.

length: 2 235 words

disclaimer: this fic is written strictly for entertainment. I am not a specialist on drag and my whole knowledge comes from mainstream media. if there is something you will find incorrect or offensive in any way, there is always an option to contact me and politely voice your thoughts instead of flaming. thanks!

a/n: the very first chapter! if you would like to read more of this fic, let me know, as this is still a work in progress. will have some references to Ru Paul’s Drag Race and the beginning is based on my very first contact with drag culture, which was a scene in Friends. hope you will enjoy the fic!

——————–

The Pitted Olive

(part 1, part 2, part 3)

It was a regular bar, with a regular bouncer standing outside, big, buffed and seemingly bored, and regular customers. From the outside, it didn't seem like anything special. A big sign with a neon and the name of the bar in a simple font embellished with a martini glass and an olive on a toothpick, flashing with purple, green and red did attract attention but wasn't anything special enough to attract the looking for adventures New Yorkers. Inside was inviting and warm, with round mahogany tables and comfortable chairs and a small lamp in the middle of every table. There were a bar and a stage with silver, glittery curtains, promising entertainment and a good time. It was a bar like many in New York. But late evenings, magic happened inside.

Steve's knee was bouncing in nervous excitement, not following the rhythm of the music seeping in the background, just pure nervousness dictating the rhythm. He had to be careful to not bash his leg on the underside of the table and cause the drinks to spill all over the red cloth. It wasn't his first visit to the bar. In fact, since the first time he stepped into The Olive, as regulars used to call it, he became a steady customer. A steady customer with a very good reason to keep coming back. A very good, embarrassing reason.

"Will you calm down?" Sam hissed, sitting at the other end of the table. The grip Steve had on an empty glass of Long Island Ice Tea was alarmingly tight and Sam began to worry that some accident involving shredded glass and blood might happen soon.

"Can't help it," Steve answered miserably, looking longingly at his wristwatch. Still, ten minutes remained. Why couldn't time go faster?

"Pathetic," Sam remarked, shaking his head at his friend's behavior. He knew Steve since forever and knew that the blond was usually better in control of his emotions. Just this place had such weird effect on him.

"Um, excuse me!" Steve called, stopping the walking past by waitress.

"Yes?"

"Is --- is she---"

The girl eyed Steve, nicely contoured lips curling into a smile. "Oh, honey, she is here. She is just getting ready for the show."

That calmed down Steve a little bit. The minutes before the show started were always killing him. "Thanks, Arrow," he answered, of course knowing the waitress' name. He knew all names of the employees of the Olive.

"Can I get you, boys, anything else?" Arrow asked, gently taking the empty glass from Steve's clutches and on putting it on the tray she was caring, a single strand of red hair slipping out of the green hood. Arrow's thing was fantasy looks. She rocked it in green cape going down to her nicely shaped butt, and a belt with big buckle was hugging her waist, bringing out the feminine shape of the body clad in a green leather suit.

"The same, please," Steve asked politely.

"And for you, sugar?"

Sam cleared his throat before answering, knocking his fist on the table. "Beer, please," he said, sounding an octave lower than usual.

Steve raised an eyebrow. He mouthed 'beer, really?' with an evilly happy smile and Sam clenched his teeth and gave a signal with his eyes to not push it. Despite being a regular like Steve was, Sam still had problems to order drinks with a straw and a small umbrella.

"Got some masculinity to prove there, pal?" Steve asked happily, just because he sometimes liked to tease his friend. Part of the being best friends deal.

"Steve," Sam warned.

"He will have the most vibrant and pink cocktail you have on the menu," Steve changed Sam's order, smiling gleefully at Arrow, who laughed in a voice deeper than she used to talk earlier.

"Hey," Arrow turned her blue eyes to Sam, deciding to jump on the torment Sam wagon. "Aren't you the one working at Mama's Little Bakery in downtown? The one with pink and frilly curtains in the windows?"

"HA!" Steve laughed, maybe a bit too loud, but the sound got lost in the already getting crowded room, and Sam's terrified look was just too priceless. Sam was someone Steve liked to call a closet baker, he could make the most amazing cakes, learning his whole life from his mom who was a master baker. It was obvious that one day he would take over the family business and continue to supply New York with delicious, homemade cupcakes and pastries.

"Beer, please," Sam repeated, his voice getting some squeakiness.

Arrow rolled her eyes and jutted her hip. "You're straight, I get it," she replied, walking away, her high heels clanking gently on the wooden floor.

"Damn straight, I am straight," Sam remarked in a low grumble, his eyes going to the bar area where Arrow was leaning and placing an order. "Straight as an uncooked spaghetti noodle…" he said, his voice losing its anger and getting a softer note that sounded a lot like longing when he watched a person behind the bar. Big, frilly dark hair, dark eye makeup, pink lips. She laughed hearing the order and started to prepare the drink for Steve first, moving smoothly and gracefully, the bright pink fur bolero and giant silver hoops in her ears, not constricting her movements in the slightest. Underneath the fur was a silver top with leopard print on spaghetti straps and knowing her, she had to wear small shorts and boots going way past her knees. Sam couldn't help but stare.

"You know, Sam, you could just go and talk to her," Steve advised gently, looking at his friend. "Under all that makeup, there is a regular person inside."

Sam turned his eyes away from the bartender and looked irritated at his friend.

"Really? You are the one to give me that kind of talk?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I am just saying," Steve said, grinning a bit too broad, knowing that they were heading into a dangerous topic, and leaned closer, minimizing the distance between him and his friend, "the world changed, Sam. Masculinity and femininity are not that far apart anymore. And who would be better to talk about this than a drag queen?"

Did we mention earlier that The Pitted Olive was a drag queen bar?

Sam just frowned deeper and for a moment, Steve sensed the tension in the air. He almost backed away, knowing that it was better to give his friend plenty of time to process, when it was Sam who first loosened up and lowered his shoulders, seemingly accepting what he heard.

"You know what?" Sam started, no hostility in his voice. "I will go talk to Tootsie, if you go talk to your girl."

Steve blushed, hoping that it wasn't too obvious in the dim light of the bar. "That's different," he said weakly, fidgeting in his seat. It really was different.

"Well, under all that makeup there is a regular person inside," Sam smiled a bit too obvious when Steve sent him a dry look, "someone once told me that. Can't remember who. Sounds dumb anyway."

Steve laughed. Reverse psychology. How cute. The moment ended when Arrow walked over and placed their drinks on the table.

"Here you go, boys," she said, putting a fresh glass of Long Island Ice Tea in front of Steve and a mug of ale near Sam. Sam gagged a bit in panic, when in the white foam he saw a pink umbrella, standing tall and proud. At the reaction, Arrow smiled and walked away, not before winking at Steve.

"I think that's a sign," Steve hummed, sipping his drink with a satisfied smile. Sam tried to be discreet and looked in the bar area, but the girl was already occupied with serving more drinks. The show was almost starting and she had to serve everyone before, not to interrupt her sister.

"Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention please!" came a voice from the intercom and the lights dimmed slowly, leaving a spotlight on the stage. Steve whipped around to face the stage and finally bashed his knee, but he couldn't care less about the pain, looking expectantly at the stage.

"Let's welcome the star of the evening, the sweetest and tastiest cake in town, Miss Red Velvet!"

Everyone started clapping to welcome the performer, but it was nothing in comparison to how rapidly Steve's heart started beating. Through the silver curtains showed a hand, and pushed the fabric open, letting it drape a bit over herself, and prolonging the moment. When the person walked out and to the middle of the stage accompanied by applause, Steve had to try hard to not stand up and start whistling.

She was stunning. Milky white skin, long dark silky hair flowing in a cascade down her shoulders and ending above a perfectly round rear. Steve knew that majority of the drag queens used pads to give their bodies more feminine shapes, but there was a rumor that Red Velvet wasn't one of them. She stood in the middle of the stage in a sparkly red gown hugging her hourglass figure and going down all the way to the floor, very probably hiding red heels underneath. A perfectly countered face and perfect dark eye make up showed nearly artistic skills. And those lips! Plump and red as cherries. Steve never saw Red Velvet in any other color than red, which was her trademark sign. She was absolutely gorgeous and Steve had been mesmerized since the first time he saw her on the stage.

"Hello everyone!" Red Velvet greeted the crown, smiling softly and charming. Her blue eyes scanned the crowd, which she could see perfectly thanks to the small lit lamps on every table. "I can see some new faces," she greeted the newcomers with positive energy, getting an overwhelming cheer in return as she waved and sent kisses. "And---" she continued, her eyes stopping on Steve's and Sam's table for two seconds longer than on everyone else, "--- some familiar faces."

Steve almost had a heart attack out of joy. The moment was magical, but before he could truly embrace it, Red Velvet took out the mic from the stand and began walking on the stage.

"I wrote a new song and would love to share it with you all," she said in her smooth, velvety voice, and Steve felt like melting. The crowd around him started to disappear and blend into the background. It was now only him and Red Velvet.

Red Velvet made some gesture with her hand and piano music started to seep, filling in the room and Steve's heart. Calming and soothing and sad. Red Velvet closed her eyes and started to sway her beautiful hips to the gentle music.

"This is the night I've been dreaming of forever. The mirror takes a look at my face. I'll never set foot in that rat hole again. But I'll drive to your place."

Steve watched and listened, adoring every word, every subtle gesture. The way light fell on her face and long eyelashes cast shadows on pale cheeks. Her voice was smooth and deep, but raspy on the edges, showing some masculinity. It was a beautiful mix. 

"This is a habit I'm breaking now forever, I'm weary from trying to shake it, so when I ask if you don't give me your hand I'll take it. Right now!"

Red Velvet opened her eyes and reached her hand forward. Steve wanted to take it, to hold it, to kiss it. To be there for her at every moment.

And then it hit him.

There was no her.

Red Velvet was a part of someone else. Someone else Steve didn't know and probably would never have an occasion to meet. Everything he ever imagined about Red Velvet might not be true.

"It's funny now when I don't show up on Monday, they'll go nuts, and eat their hats, well, what do you think of that?"

Steve bit his lip, his thoughts spiraling deeper and deeper. His dream woman would remain a dream. But… underneath all that makeup was a regular person. Oh, the irony. He had to listen to his own advice after all.

"He says, you're throwing life away, to move with a girl like me, he's not blind, he just don't have a mind to see…"

The song ended on a sad note and Steve was back again, together with the crowd and clapping with everyone else. His mind cooled down and he felt that he could think more rationally, yet when Red Velvet smiled gratefully at the audience, his heart did that weird flip-flop thing he heard about only from the movies.

His heart was telling him one thing, while his mind was telling him something entirely different. It was a struggle to separate the voices and try to tell dreams and reality apart.

But why try to break something that went together hand in hand? He just had to say it. For his own sanity. It was hard, but he had to, to quiet his heart and mind.

"I am going to meet with her, Sam," Steve said, his eyes not leaving the person on the stage. Time to meet his dream and face the reality. And saying that Sam's face became one of a pure shock, was an understatement.

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song lyrics - A Man Like Me from The Futurist by Robert Downey Jr, slightly altered

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next part --->

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tag list

(if you want to be tagged for updates in this series, send me an ask and I will add your username below)

@destiel-is-classic​

[magically-strange]

Costumed Craving...

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13

Marianne had to take a moment to collect herself before she could coherently answer Bog.  The thing about soulmates was that they weren’t just random individuals that fate threw together with a ‘best-of-luck’ shrug. They were specially matched to be both a balance and compliment to each other. Each was exactly what the other one needed and wanted, in whichever order they were to discover.        

Take Dawn and Sunny’s relationship, for example.  Believe it or not, those two had been best friends since childhood, with the latter blissfully unaware of the former’s biggest secret, not that it wasn’t difficult to hide as kids, but when puberty reared its ugly head, things got complicated.  

Sunny fell in love while Dawn went cute boy-crazy.  Marianne couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for him, watching her sister take on the more, eh…traditional M.O. of a succubus; dating a seemingly endless string of tall, white guys; his exact opposite. He thought all he did was blend in, little knowing how he left all those jerks in the dust when it came to who Dawn really valued the most as a person.  

She’d never once fed off Sunny.  Dawn always claimed it would be disrespectful to their friendship.  And through all her romantic flings and entanglements, she still made time to hang out with Sunny alone.  

Then came the night of their senior prom.  

It had been unusually cold and rainy that spring, and her date had come down with the flu at the last minute.  Dawn had been wrecked, afraid she was going to miss out on the most special night of her high-school life, until Sunny volunteered to escort her himself, despite his responsibility as the event’s DJ.  It was tricky, but they managed to make it work, with Sunny and his friend, Pare, taking turns manning the sound system so everyone could share plenty of dances.  

When the prom was over, it was pouring outside, so heavily, that by the time Sunny and Dawn reached his mom’s beat-up Volvo, they were soaked through to the bone.  Not realizing that Dawn wasn’t bothered by the chill as much as she was the wet, Sunny, like the gentleman he was (and is to this day), immediately switched on the heater, took off his tux jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, hugging her close in an attempt to get her warm before they drove home. Well, call it cliché as hell, but one thing led to another, and in the middle of their kissing, it happened.

Marianne would never forget how Dawn had later described it on the phone:  All of the sudden, I just knew it. I could smell it and see it and taste it all at the same time!  It was so weird and kinda scary, but so amazing!  Like feeding times a thousand, a million!  Everything was Sunny!  My fangs finally grew out and the next thing I knew, I was drinking the blood straight from his heart!

Afterwards, placing Sunny’s passed out body in the backseat and driving frantically to her house so she and her father could explain everything to him when he came to was…awkward, to say the least.  Dawn had been terrified that she was going to lose her dearest friend since kindergarten forever, but nature doesn’t make mistakes, and eventually, Sunny just smiled, saying he’d always believed there was something magical about her.    

They’d been virtually inseparable ever since, marrying in college once Sunny had a year or two to get accustomed to his transformation, and moving into their own house in the same neighborhood as Dawn’s father; Lilin liked to stay near their families.

Dawn, like her mother, was a free-spirit.  She was an almost obnoxiously peppy, optimistic, morning person, who’d try anything and everything at any given time, just for the fun of it.  And while Sunny was similar, he had a stronger down-to-earth streak that helped Dawn relax and keep things in perspective, while she brought out his confidence and courage.  He made her wiser, she made him stand out more; and together; they were deeply and truly happy.      

Marianne had tried to deny how envious she was of them.  Every Lilin longed to find their soulmate, and she’d been so afraid that she wouldn’t, even going so far as to lie to herself and think she didn’t want hers, thanks to the Roland disaster.  

But she had.  

Though she’d had a light handful of intimate partners in her lifetime, Marianne did not share her sister’s pre-bonding affinity for casual sex with all her prey.  She normally preferred to take the ‘thief in the night’ approach, less personal that way. She was like her mother too, just in wit and sass, rather than flight of fancy; even if she could be somewhat inquisitive and impatient.  Her mother’s passion had become her own, and that combined with her father’s rarely seen, but serious anger underneath his typically easy-going and friendly attitude, made Marianne a veritable hurricane when her small number of buttons were pushed.  

Marianne was wild and tough, and she needed someone who could match her fire.  Otherwise, her strength would crush them to bits, figuratively and very literally.  

Bog was a hard-ass. He didn’t bullshit her; if he disagreed with her on something, he told her so, and they debated the subject thoroughly, fervently, and respectfully.  They were also both fiercely competitive.  Their dates were chock full of races, trivia, contests, point tallies, etc. He’d even come to the gym a few times to work out and spar with her.  And the best part?  No pun intended, but he never pulled any punches. Despite her obviously needing to physically dial it back to avoid suspicion and/or injuring him, she could still tell that he gave it his all.  He didn’t take it easy on her because she was a woman; he treated her as an equal, right from the start. That’s how they were balanced.      

Furthermore, she’d never known the true calming power of the color blue until she’d seen it in his eyes. As much as he could stir her up, he could settle her down just as easily, with his kindness and empathy. He soothed and consoled her, praised and encouraged her; reminded her of all the beauty and good in the world.  

And for her part, she enticed him, beckoned him; drew him out of the lonely shadows that had whispered to him of his ugliness, his strangeness, his unworthiness to be loved. They gave each other hope, and that’s how they were complimented.        

All that being said, if Bog thought her temper was familiar and comforting, then he should’ve taken a peek inside Marianne’s head when he’d growled at her.  

Had she not been so stubbornly in denial, she could’ve saved herself a lot of torment.  It was incredibly difficult for a Lilin to court a human, especially when the human in question was the Lilin’s soulmate.  So much restraint, so much frustration!  Like having an unbearable craving for a banana split, but only being allowed to eat the nuts and sprinkles!  It was never enough!

But that was coming to an end.  Bog’s transformation was almost complete; she could feel it in every pore of her skin.  There was only one last thing he would need to do…

And if he accepted their bond on top of that task, then she wouldn’t have to hold back anymore.  Hurricane would meet tornado, and it would be glorious!  His show of dominance excited her; made the succubus rise in wanting to challenge him, but she had to stay in control!  Just a bit longer.  This was definitely not the time to be turned on.      

What was important now, was getting him to want this.

“You’ll be able to see, smell, and hear better than any animal on this earth,” she explained, “you’ll have the strength of a hundred men, and be immune to almost any disease you can name.”

Something passed over Bog’s scowling face at that.  Relief? Or awe, perhaps?  Was he thinking about his father?  Whatever it was, it vanished in a blink, and was replaced with concern.

“What about my mom?” He demanded.  “I’m all she has, Marianne.  I can’t leave her!”    

“You won’t, Bog.”  Marianne assured him.  “You can live your life the way you always have.  You’ll continue to age at the same rate you do now.  You don’t have to give up anything.  Not your friends, your family, your job, not even your favorite foods!”

“What?  How can-?”

“It won’t give you nutrition or sustenance anymore, but you can keep on eating out of habit or just to enjoy the taste.  My uncle Paul’s never stopped loving his bacon burgers, and I ate Poptarts as a kid; I still like ‘em.”  

As her boyfriend considered this, Marianne put the cherry on top:

“You’ll even be able to walk on air.”

Bog’s gaze snapped to meet hers, first in confusion as to her meaning, but soon his jaw went slack for several beats as understanding dawned on his features and he struggled to speak again.

“Walk on-?  Ye…y-y-ye mean we can…f-fly?”

He said ‘we’!!!

“Yes, Bog.”  Marianne grinned gently.  “We have wings!”

[metawitches]

So, that was a lively episode, y’all. There were deaths, rebirths, saviors proclaimed, religions explained, siblings revealed, lightning shooting from hands (told ya), medical comas induced, romances consummated and Liz still had time to identify the rare Libyan flower in Maria’s necklace.

And Ophiuchus came up again, which is very intriguing, since Noah used it to describe Max and himself, not himself and Rosa. Michael and Alex may be cosmic soulmates, but according to Noah, he and Max are also in a cosmic relationship. I think he was meant to be Max’s handler.

Max needs a Watcher or a Whitelighter. Use whatever title you want, but since female  prodigies always have them, the Roswell “Savior” can survive having one, too. He desperately needs guidance. It’s not clear that he can survive without it, based on his own actions.

The CW came through with good news, after the show left us with that cliffhanger last night. Roswell, New Mexico has been renewed for season 2. If you’ve been waiting to check the show out until you were sure it would continue, you’re all set. The entire season should be on Netflix next week.

Recap

Liz’s voiceover:

“When I committed my life to science, I stopped believing in magic, in fairytales with happy endings, in gods and in ghosts. But then, I met a demon, a creature who could possess an innocent. So, I can’t help but ask: If the devil is real, what else walks amongst us?”

Michael and Max are right where we left them at the end of episode 12. Michael is holding the syringe with the antidote while Max points his gun at Michael. Michael wants to give the antidote to Noah and finally get some answers about their families and home world. Max threatens to shoot Michael if he takes another step toward Noah.

Michael tells Max that he just found his mother, but she was brutally murdered by Jesse Manes as soon as he met her. Max pulls out his shallow sympathy and refuses to reconsider. Michael knows that Noah isn’t really who he’s looking for, but he’s the only option available. He starts crying as he explains to Max how much it would mean to him to get these answers, and his plan for them both to keep Noah under control.

Max answers with violence and a pronouncement, of course. He shoots the syringe out of Michael’s hand and says that Michael is his family. That’s all HE needs to know. Max needs Noah dead. Now.

Michael screams that he doesn’t care what Max needs and sends him flying through the French doors onto the patio, unconscious. We started the season in roughly the same way, with Michael sending Max flying into a desk in the police station because he unilaterally decided to heal Liz and reveal their secret. Michael was especially angry then because it was Max’s rule that they shouldn’t use their powers or tell anyone their secret, then he broke it and risked everything.

Here we are again, in virtually the same situation. Max has made a decision and won’t compromise. This time, it’s of vital importance to Michael and time is running out. This time, Michael has a chance to stop Max, and he takes it. But that means that he doesn’t have Max’s help dealing with Noah.

  He takes Max’s gun and tries to lead Noah out at gunpoint. Noah tells Michael that the antidote he stole is in the cave with his pod. Noah lurches, then falls on the floor, conveniently landing next to the broken syringe. When Michael reaches down to lift Noah up, Noah grabs the glass from the syringe and uses it to stab Michael in the neck. While Michael bleeds out, Noah picks up the other end of the syringe and sucks a few drops of the antidote out. It’s enough to keep him going, for now. He leaves Max and Michael unconscious.

Note: As usual, Noah doesn’t toy with Michael the way he does with Isobel and Max. Not even one snide remark. Michael asks him a question, and he gives Michael a straight answer. He stabs Michael, then stands and watches him while he drinks what’s left of the antidote. He barely looks at Max, even as he’s stepping over him. Michael is the one he’s worried about. He can hurt Michael, but maybe he can’t lie to him, the way he can to Isobel and Max? Does he watch Michael to make sure the wound isn’t fatal, or to guard against Michael waking up and jumping him, or both?

Also, Noah was faking being so close to death. He was still healthy enough to get rid of Michael, the strongest and smartest of the trio. He was just biding his time, seeing how far that scenario would go, before he got himself free.

Meanwhile, back at the Wild Pony, Racist Hank takes advantage of Max’s absence to check out Liz as she walks in the door. Liz doesn’t notice and goes straight to the booth where Maria’s sitting, wearing a cozy cardigan and drinking alone. Liz says she had a rough night and wants some best friend time. She notices Maria’s necklace on the table and picks it up to look at it, asking when Mimi gave it to Maria. Maria says she took it off of her own neck and put it on Maria’s the day of high school graduation.

Liz gives us a good look at the purple flower in the pendant, telling Maria that it’s a rare plant that only grows in the Libyan desert. The yellow powder that takes away the aliens’ power is the pollen of this flower. The necklace is a DeLuca family heirloom that protects them from evil. It’s always reminded Maria of the long line of strong women she comes from. Since Michael fixed it, the necklace reminds her of his various body parts…

Liz figures out that Maria is into Michael, and that they slept together. OMG, she didn’t figure out what Michael and Maria were doing together in the desert that night in Texas either? I guess that proves she and Max are meant to be together.

Liz gets excited for Maria, but Maria cuts her off, telling her that Alex is in love with Michael. Since Michael is Alex’s High School Museum Guy, he’s off limits to Maria FOREVER according to the Roswell friend code. Liz is stunned. She really thought it was okay to date whoever she wanted, as long as they weren’t with someone else at that very moment. Sorry, Cam.

She asks if Maria has talked to Alex about how she feels. Of course not. Maria just feels guilty for being interested in a guy Alex has treated badly for ten years and who he broke up with. Alex apparently isn’t required to feel guilt.

Liz counsels Maria not to feel bad, because you can’t help who you fall in love with. “If we could choose, we wouldn’t fall at all and what’s the fun in that? You can’t be guilty of something you can’t control.” Maria nods her head in understanding, but still looks sad.

She knows that as a woman threatening the happiness of a male-male couple, things will go badly for her with the fandom, and she remembers Clexa. She’s not sure she’s up for that kind of pain being sent her way for something that’s not her fault. Michael is, after all, a bisexual adult who can choose which lover he wants to be with, and most people move on from their high school partners by their late 20s.

  Alex finds Kyle going through security footage from the hard drives he salvaged from Caulfield. He’s found the footage of his father being pushed into N-38’s cell. Alex calls N-38, the alien who gave Jim a brain tumor, the monster who killed Kyle’s father. Kyle shows Alex more of the footage. Jesse Manes pushed Jim Valenti into N-38’s cell, then locked him in. Jesse Manes is the monster who killed Kyle’s father.

Jesse returns to town in the wake of the destruction of the Caulfield facility. Flint meets him and apologizes for the loss. Jesse isn’t too upset. The alien specimens (in other words, Michael’s family) were almost used up anyway, their research is backed up, and they keep the bomb off site, so there wasn’t much harm done. He’s more concerned that the intruders survived the explosion. Flint is shocked by the way Jesse talks about Alex, who’s family. Jesse says they’ll deal with Alex eventually. He needs to take care of Kyle right now.

  Liz goes home to the diner and calls Max to let him know that Noah’s handprint faded, so she can’t feel him anymore. She plans to grab some food and milkshakes to bring back to Max’s place.

Liz must assume that Max is done disposing of Noah’s body and cleaning up the blood. Or maybe she plans to help while the milkshakes wait in the freezer. Sounds like a romantic evening to me. 😜😱👽😳

  But wait- the diner door unlocks itself- Noah has let himself in, and he wants a cherry cola! He and Liz move toward each other, meeting at a counter where a large kitchen knife sits. Noah uses his power to pull the knife over to himself. He looks at photos of Rosa pinned up on the wall, and says even though Liz looks like her sister, they’re nothing alike. Rosa was hope and fire but Liz is jaded and guilty. Liz locks herself in the walk-in freezer.

Liz still has a vial of the anti-alien pollen in her jeans pocket, so she devises a clever plan to trick Noah into the freezer, where she scatters the yellow powder. She barely blocks the lock on the freezer, making Noah think he’s overcome her when he psychically removes the barrier. He even says, “I thought you were the smart sister.” The powder takes away his powers, so Liz gets away and locks him inside the freezer.

She baited him into following her into the trap she’d laid for him.

Max wakes up and finds Michael, who’s still unconscious. He heals Michael, drawing on the house’s electricity and causing the power to go out. He’s still retching in the corner, from the energy drain, when Isobel arrives. He tells her that they have to take off before Michael wakes up, presumably so they can kill Noah without Michael’s interference.

Max and Liz talk on the phone while Max is in the car. She tells him to come collect Noah from the fridge. Noah hurls threats and insults about Liz and Arturo through the freezer door. He tells her that she hardly knew Rosa, but her sister told him her secrets. Rosa blackmailed their mother into leaving, by threatening to tell Arturo about Mrs Ortecho’s affair with Jim and that Rosa was Jim’s daughter.

Oh right, that’s new information for Liz.

With that big revelation, Noah pops open the freezer door, tells Liz that Rosa will always be “Mine!” instead of hers, takes the knife back from Liz and stabs her in the abdomen, then races outside, after Liz throws yellow cumin powder in his eyes to trick him again.

Noah’s just so much fun. How many great entrances did he just make, in that one short diner scene, 3? If we can keep Noah next season, I promise to do less complaining about Max.

But what did Noah go to the diner for? The cherry coke and a snack? Just to terrorize Liz and provoke Max some more? To look at photos of Rosa? He didn’t ask Liz for anything and he could have easily killed her with any of his powers, but he didn’t.

Isobel and Max are still in the car. Isobel looks intense. Liz calls to say Noah escaped. She thinks his next stop will be to kill someone, to regain his strength. Isobel says she knows where he’d go, based on her wifely intuition.

Noah goes to the most obvious place, the Wild Pony, where he’s killed to recharge himself 14 other times. He puts his glowing hand on Racist Hank, who thinks Noah is Mexican. He doesn’t have his hand on Hank for long, so Noah might not have drank him dry. But Noah is in a bad way and a bad mood, so there’s a good chance that we lose Hank tonight.

Poor Wyatt, he’s lost his soulmate. Never forget. 😜🤓 # Justice for Hank

Liz called Kyle to tend to her stab wound, except she didn’t tell him that’s what she needed from him. He didn’t bring his medical bag and has to use a needle and thread to sew her up. He also mentions that he was followed on the way there and it took a while to lose the stalker.

  Noah’s waiting for Max and Isobel at the turquoise mine, having buzzed home for a shower and change of clothes after his Racist Hank snack. He clearly believes that to look good is to feel good, which leads to success, and he’s a success oriented guy.

He’s sitting on a log drinking Starbucks. Isobel silently gets out of the car and joins him, ignoring Max’s questions. Max doesn’t figure out that Noah’s been controlling her until he sees them speak in unison.

Always quick on the uptake, Max figures out that Noah had Isobel bring him to the mine, so he pulls out his gun and fires at Noah. Noah is faster than a speeding bullet and deflects the bullet away from himself, while taunting Max for his abysmal skill level with his alien powers. Then he ties Max’s intestines into a knot using telekinesis.

“The whole duel to the death at high noon thing is fun, man, but any redneck can work a gun. I prefer to get creative.”

Thank you, Noah, that’s exactly my point. Max is nearly a one trick pony.

Liz confesses to Kyle that Noah told her Rosa was a Valenti. She’s disturbed that Rosa knew, but never told her. Kyle hesitates, then says that maybe Rosa just never found the right time to tell Liz, letting her know that he also knows the truth. Liz figures out that Kyle lost a sister, too.

Michael runs into his trailer to change out of his bloody clothes. Alex is there waiting for him, uninvited. He asks Michael what happened. Michael just says that it’s not his own blood (some of it it is). Alex is there because he needed to talk to Michael, but it’s a bad time.

Alex starts to talk anyway. He’s probably been practicing his speech in his head and wants to get it out. He apologizes for leaving Michael behind when he enlisted, but he admits that after what Jesse did to Michael, he wanted to leave and to be the kind of person who won battles. It felt good at the time, but now, when he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t even see himself. He sees his father, and he feels like he’s still fighting his father’s battles.

At that moment, Michael gets a telepathic vision that Max and Isobel are in trouble. He tells Alex to come back tomorrow and they can talk more, then rushes out the door.

Michael has his own family battles to fight and can’t save Alex from himself or his family. Alex needs to save himself, maybe with Flint.

Max wakes up in the cave and finds Isobel unconscious next to him. Noah is melting down vats of silver. He tells Max that Isobel will be out for a while, since being possessed depletes her body. “But, she likes it rough sometimes.” Max: “I am going to kill you.”

Noah calmly flicks his hand and physically subdues Max. Max asks why Noah doesn’t kill them, what he plans to use them for. Noah pauses for a moment, with a thoughtful look on his face, as if he’s deciding which direction to takes his answers in. He stays turned away from Max when he answers:

Noah: “The alighting. They’re coming for us, Maximo. I’d hoped we could go as a family, but… plans change.”

He looks sad during this pause, like there’s more to his plans changing than just the trio’s lack of cooperation. Was he psychically connected to the aliens at Caulfield? Could he hear them through all their years of torture, but he wasn’t strong enough to help them alone, and the trio couldn’t be risked? Did he hope to rescue them eventually, then hear them die? What if Noah has been acting under the orders of his superiors at Caulfield all of these years? He might have been ordered to stay alive and close to the trio, no matter what. The other aliens wouldn’t care how many humans he had to kill to save his own life or to keep the trio safe, while he hid in plain sight.

Max: “What’s the alighting? Who are they?”

Noah: ” I told you. When we left, our home was ravaged by war. They are the ones who are victorious. Whichever side won, they’d never just leave us here. They’d never leave you here… You’re the savior. Now that you’re all grown up, they’ll come. Maybe not this year, or the next, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve had my fun with the three of you. Now it’s time to put you back in the pods, so when they come, I’ll be waiting to trade you for a ride home.”

Max tells Noah that he’s wrong, Max isn’t a savior. Noah responds that Max thinks like a human, only using a small portion of his brain’s potential and thinking he only has one kind of power.

Noah: “Unlock your mind, and you could be a god.”

Max still denies the truth. Noah becomes desperate. He grabs the front of Max’s shirt and yells at him.

Noah: “Come on! All those books, and you haven’t figured religion out? You haven’t guessed who those stories are really about? Strange creatures with familiar features, coming down from the heavens, parting the seas, striking people down with bolts of lightning.”

It seems obvious that Noah means that the gods and prophets from all the religions were aliens, which isn’t a new idea, but Max still just looks at him with a blank face. Noah puts his glowing hand on Max’s chest and says that he’s giving Max a heart attack. The others will want Max alive, but he doesn’t have to be very alive.

He’s clearly hoping to provoke Max into using new powers, but instead, Michael arrives and uses his mind to throw Noah across the cave. Michael runs over to Max, who tells Michael that he’s not strong enough. He asks Michael to hold off Noah, then runs outside. Noah is starting to recover and stares at Michael.

Outside, there’s a thunderstorm. Max runs onto a hill, then lifts up each hand, drawing a lightning bolt into each one. He’s finally put together what Noah said about powers, Gods and lightning bolts. Noah must be so relieved.

In fact, he is. He runs out of the cave, laughing. He yells, “We are Ophiuchus, Max. The man and the serpent, the serpent and the man.” He point to Max when he says serpent, and himself when he says man. “They’re not killing each other. They are one.” He gets an emotional, teary eyed look on his face. In the cave, Isobel’s eyes pop open. Michael is unconscious, and stays that way, protected or isolated from these shenanigans.

Max turns toward Noah and throws a lightning bolt at his chest. Noah stands still, with his arms thrown out to the side and his head thrown back, as if he’s ready to receive it. He does nothing to fight it or avoid it. If this isn’t something Noah wanted, his response goes completely against the character we’ve seen since it was revealed that he’s an alien, who’ll do anything to stay alive.

The lightning bolt extends between them like a serpent. The clothing on Noah’s chest burns away to reveal lightning fractals forming, but he doesn’t get burned. He stays conscious and rises into the air.

Noah enters the psychic space with Isobel. He asks her if it’s over, and she says yes. She tells him that she never told him she’s an alien (“her secret”) because she doesn’t love him and he’s not her person. She gives him back her wedding rings. Noah sadly, but calmly accepts this. Then he says, “Take care of her, Isobel.”

Isobel and Michael run outside. Max turns off the lightning and lets Noah fall to the ground. Max is thrilled with his own power.

Kyle stops at a gun supermart because the combination of alien uprising and being stalked by Jesse Manes have put him over the edge, so he wants to feel safer. The message is quite clearly that the gun dealer is very wrong in his willingness to sell the obviously upset Kyle a gun. I’m not going to argue with this. In case it’s not clear, the showrunner has given interviews stating that this is the point of the scene.

It’s interesting then, that she chose Kyle as the subject of her message. Calm, non-violent, always rational Kyle, who just happens to be Mexican-American.

We get nothing from the writers about the issues with Quick Draw Max, the white Alpha male and source of the majority of the violence on this show, excessively using his gun (and his power). But Cam, a woman, gets fired for pulling the trigger on her gun twice while off duty (obviously she can’t be trusted to treat her gun with the proper respect), and we’re told it’s scary that the Mexican-American doctor could buy a gun when he’s feeling unsafe.

Nevermind that Sheriff Mom likely has several Kyle could borrow, so why is he at the gun store anyway?

There are three people in Roswell who would make me feel unsafe: Max, Wyatt and Jesse. Now possibly Noah. But he’s killing to survive, not for the reasons the other three kill. Kyle and Cam have never done anything that would make me feel unsafe (since Kyle’s been an adult).

The trio are back in the cave. We aren’t shown what they did with Noah. I don’t think he’s in one of the pods, so I assume he’s in a shallow grave outside the cave. Looking forward to either zombie Noah or true vampire Noah. Just please, please give me the classic shot of his hand sticking up out of his grave as the opening shot of season 2.

Isobel tells her brothers about her last conversation with Noah. Turns out she does love him, so now she’s feeling weird about having her last words to him be a lie. Max is all jittery and jumpy, like he’s on drugs. He says some unhelpful blather to Isobel. She tells them that Noah’s last words were, “Take care of her,” and Isobel doesn’t know what he meant. Michael says, “A lot of answers died with Noah.” Michael and Isobel are sitting next to each other, in shock and somewhere in the grieving process.

Max ignores their feelings and says that Noah was evil, so it’s a win that he’s dead. Their past doesn’t matter and has nothing to do with them. Michael rolls his eyes at Max, so Max tells him to quit being obsessed with the past. He picks up Michael’s damaged left hand, and heals it, before Michael can stop him. Michael tells him no, very explicitly, but Max fixes his hand anyway, because Max has decided and he’s the savior. Michael worries that people will notice, but Max just says, “This is Roswell,” and walks out of the cave.

I guess Max has total control of the town, so it doesn’t matter.

As they are about to remind us, when Max heals someone, they absorb his emotions (echoes). For the next several days to a week, Michael will be flying high on Max’s current over-excited emotional state, his habit of denial and his need to oversimplify everything. He’ll also be able to psychically feel Max’s feelings even more powerfully than he already was. Keep all of this in mind for the rest of the episode.

Max must have spent the night walking home from the turquoise mine, because when Liz gets to his house the next morning, he’s just getting home, by way of walking across the fields outside of his house. Liz sees the destruction the fights caused to the house and starts to panic, but then she sees Max coming. She and Max do the thing where they run to each other across a long distance and end up in each other’s arms, then kiss.

Gag. Me.

Julie Plec directed this episode. If that sequence wasn’t done as some kind of fan service, the way Damon and Elena’s kiss in the rain was, or to show us that there’s something very wrong with Max and Liz right now, then I don’t know if there’s any hope for this show. That was just bad. Max murdered his brother-in-law last night. Liz was traumatized, again. Jubilation is a strange response.

Damon and Elena Max and Liz are overcome with lust and barely make it to the bedroom for their first time together. Max pauses when he sees the bandage on Liz’s abdomen, but he listens to her when she tells him to keep going, instead of stopping to heal her. I guess Liz likes it painful and rough, too.

Then she tells him to put his healing hand on the spot where her bullet wound was, so HE CAN FEEL WHAT SHE FEELS. Her turn into the Giving Tree is complete. If he’s going to use his hand, why not let him heal the wound? Trust me, it hurts when a man lays on your stomach and you have an injury there. Been there, done that, found another position.

Actually, it took me a while after writing the first draft of this recap, but I finally realized why she won’t even tell Max anything about the wound. She didn’t mention it the night before, either. It’s a stab wound from Noah, which was sewn up by Kyle. She’s currently doubly marked by other men. Max would go insane with anger and jealousy and probably pee all over her, or worse, to mark her a s his, then kill Kyle too, if he knew what happened. Sooner or later, a guy like Max wants to create a permanent mark of his own. Just sayin’.

Also?? After another shot of the glowing hand, Liz becomes a little Max zombie again for the next week. He wasn’t influenced by her feelings the last time. She was influenced by his.

They have epic, first time, glowing hand sex in Max’s bed.

Isobel and Michael spend the morning searching for Noah’s cave. She worries that loving Noah means she’s bad, too. Michael tells her that she’s not. He says, “We’re only defined by what we can control. Love is out of control. Love is the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I was in a spaceship crash.”

Isobel tells him that her relationship troubles are now worse than the flimsy closet he’s been in because of Alex.

Michael: “He knows everything. His family is involved in the conspiracy that tortured and killed the other aliens. He’s tangled up in all these terrible memories in my life and I love him. I probably always will. But lately, that love just hurts. Coming back to him, it always feels like a crash landing.”

Isobel tells him that maybe they should start looking forward, like Max said. Then she sees the cave opening.

The cave is filled with candles and books, just like Max had in the trio’s cave while Isobel was in the pod. They find Noah’s pod, covered with a blanket. Rosa Ortecho’s perfectly preserved body is inside the pod.

Now that Max and Liz are done, Liz jumps up and gets ready to leave. Max tries to get her to stay, but she won’t. She has to visit Rosa’s grave, right away. It can’t wait. He gets a text from Isobel, and Liz tells him to go to her, because Isobel has been through enough.

What just happened? That was clearly supposed to be the most epic sex ever, and it was their first time, but then Liz couldn’t wait to get out of there? And the best excuse she had was that her dead sister was waiting for her?

Jesse Manes finds Kyle back at the Project Shepherd bunker, working on the surveillance tapes. Kyle stands up and turns around to say something, but jesse shoots him in the chest before he has a chance to get it out. Jesse tells him to say hello to his dad. He leaves Kyle on the floor to bleed out and puts his gun down to have a celebratory sip of whiskey.

Kyle jumps up from behind and hits Jesse in the head with something rectangular and hard that I’m sure is kept around just for these occasions. While Jesse falls down, Kyle takes his gun.

Kyle is also clutching his chest. It turns out that he decided not to buy a gun, so New Mexico is safe from random crazed doctors for another day. Instead, he bought a bulletproof vest. Good thing Jesse didn’t go for the head shot.

Kyle and Jesse have a back and forth about who killed who and who covered up what. Jim wanted to shut down the Alien Guantanamo, even though he knew Rosa was killed by an alien. Jesse wanted to expose the aliens and start an intergalactic war. He’s starting to warm up into his villain monologue about his dream of becoming Will Smith or Darth Vader when Kyle jabs a syringe into his neck and yells that it’s barbiturates. Jesse will now be entering a medically induced coma, but Kyle will be sure to take good care of him once they get to the hospital. He has ethics as a doctor, after all.

The syringe is mightier than the sword, y’all.

Isobel and Michael called Max in to consult about Liz’s sister, so he’s in the cave now, too. They come up with some theories for how Noah got Rosa’s body from the morgue to the pod and Max gets angry. Michael and Isobel don’t want to tell Liz, but Max can’t keep a secret this big.

Don’t choke on the irony, kids. Michael and Isobel kept their secrets from their people forever, no matter the consequences, based on Max’s orders. Max can’t keep a secret from Liz for a second, because he’s special.

Max starts quoting Noah, just like Noah probably planned, wondering if he can unlock his potential to be the kind of savior who brings back the dead. Isobel buys into his dream, but Michael stops them. He doesn’t believe they can bring back a girl who’s been dead for 10 years. He says they should take some time to be normal and happy now, then make a proper burial plan for Rosa. They all seem to agree to the plan and leave the cave, but Max takes one last lingering look at the pod.

Michael goes straight to the Wild Pony. He judges his welcome by asking Maria if the bar is open or closed. She accepts his proposal that they spend time together by saying that they’re open. They passionately kiss several times, then just hold each other for a moment. Maria says that they really need to talk. Michael says that they will, but he really needs to settle himself by playing the guitar for a while first. Maria continues counting money at the bar while Michael plays acoustic guitar nearby.

Liz brings a red rose to Rosa’s grave and speaks out loud to her. As she begins, an acoustic cover of Dido’s Here with Me, the original Roswell series’ theme song, begins to play.

Liz tells Rosa that she’s in love with Max, even though Rosa told her to keep a cage around her heart. And even though she feels guilty for loving him because of what he did to Rosa. She knows Max loves her too. She wishes Rosa had lived long enough to feel the kind of love she has with Max and to let her heart out of its cage. She especially wishes She could still talk to Rosa for real.

While Liz speaks to Rosa, Max has gone back to Noah’s cave to bring Rosa back to life. He takes her burned body from the pod and lays her on the ground, then puts his hand at the base of her neck. He turns on his power and starts putting energy into her.

As Liz is saying she wishes Rosa was still alive, she feels something go wrong with Max and runs to her car.

Isobel sits in her house and concentrates on using telekinesis for the first time. She successfully smashes a framed photo of herself with Noah.

Alex waits outside of Michael’s trailer to continue the talk he tried to start the day before.

Michael keeps playing guitar. Maria notices that his hand is healed.

Max strains to heal Rosa.

Michael and Isobel, who notice whenever anything is wrong with their siblings, even when they are at the caves, continue like nothing is wrong.

Liz arrives at Noah’s cavesite, parks, and calls for Max. She hears someone call back to her and turns to see Rosa. We see the same distance shot of Liz and Rosa running toward each other, then embracing, as was used earlier for Max and Liz. Where it felt overdone and unearned for the first couple, it feels completely right for Rosa and Liz. I get chills every time I watch it. Every time.

The Dido cover is still playing.

Liz looks at Rosa and says, “How? I don’t understand?” Rosa replies, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here, okay? I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.”

Then Rosa looks at Liz with tears in her eyes and Liz asks where Max is.

Liz runs into the cave entrance and sees Max lying on the ground with his eyes open and his arms spread wide, apparently dead. She cries over his body.

Commentary

Amber Midthunder/Rosa Ortecho has been promoted to series regular for season 2. Can’t wait to see more of her and her relationships with everyone.

Carina talks about Kyle’s gun store scene:

TVLINE | I have to say, I was a little disturbed by Kyle’s darker turn this week. Are we saying goodbye to the Kyle we knew and loved? Carina Adly MacKenzie: “I was so proud of Michael Trevino in that scene, which we shot in a real gun store in a mall in Santa Fe. That scene was actually the most important one in the whole episode. We knew we were running long, so we didn’t have enough time to shoot everything we wanted, and people kept suggesting that we cut that scene. I just sort of said, “Hey, listen, we’re done suggesting that we cut that scene. Suggest something else.” There are a lot of guns on the show, a lot of casual-seeming gun fights, because we’re talking about cowboys and cops in New Mexico. I wanted to say something about how easy it is to get your hands on a gun in New Mexico when you’re clearly in a state of distress.”

I feel bad for Alex, because I don’t like to see people hurting, but I don’t blame Michael for moving on. If you go back and watch the season over again, you’ll be reminded that Michael has very good reasons for turning to Maria. He opened his heart to Alex over and over again and Alex shut him out, over and over, often with cruel words and actions. No matter how much two people love each other, love isn’t always enough. Sometimes, the obstacles in the relationship are just too much for even the strongest love to overcome. Some of the greatest real life love stories of all time have ended with the couple apart.

I might as well say it now- Michael is Harry Potter. Not literally, obvs. But he’s the important kid who was hidden so deeply that it looked like he was forgotten, so that enemies wouldn’t bother with him. Maybe one reason Noah wants to pump up Max’s ego and have him show off his powers is because Jesse’s paying attention to Michael lately. He needs the attention shifted away from Michael, toward Max and Isobel instead. Plus this increases Max’s powers so he’s a better protector.

St Max of the Handgun

Max tries to solve every problem, no matter how small, large or inappropriate, with his gun. This makes for an obnoxious, dull character, whether it’s a hero or a villain. He’s a blunt weapon of destruction, a peacemaker bomb, not a philosopher. In fact, he actively discourages everyone around him from thinking and questioning.

If Max is a savior, it’s of the political variety, and he’s meant to rule as a military dictator and front man, to stop the dissent that’s causing continuous war. More likely, he’s the terminator, and Noah is his handler. Noah understands exactly how to motivate Max and exactly what his capabilities are. He can get Max to do whatever he wants, even when he’s in poor health and on autopilot. No one who’s that easily manipulated will make a great leader.

OMG, THEY KILLED MAX!

LOL. Don’t get too worked up. Within moments of the episode ending, Carina was pointing out that they foreshadowed Max’s death in episode 2, when he told Liz that things never end well for the guy who can work miracles with his hands. The thing is, those guys also have a habit of coming back from the dead after a few days.

In the scene from episode 2, So Much for the Afterglow, which takes place in a church, Liz has just confessed that she no longer believes in God. She asks if Max does. He replies, “I read a lot of religious texts. Like, all of them. The stories don’t generally end well for guys like me. You know, men who work miracles with their hands tend to die bloody.” Liz says that she asked him to meet him there, where she’s just lit a candle for Rosa, because of his hands. She wants him to use the connection they share because he healed her to show her his memories of her sister.

He shows her the memories, but goes further than he planned, and she sees his memory that includes “fraudulent zodiac” written on Rosa’s hand. Liz doesn’t know what that memory means and asks Maria about it. Maria tells Liz that Rosa wrote those words on her hands a few hours before she died, and the season long mystery begins, which includes figuring out exactly how the aliens were involved in Rosa’s death

This episode brings us full circle from that moment in episode 2 in so many ways, not least because in the seemingly throwaway scene before it, Isobel is worried that Max is troubled about something and holding it in. Noah offers to talk to him, but Isobel shoots him down and approaches Michael instead. That scene now takes on layers of meaning. Noah must have been monitoring Max through Isobel all along, and finding excuses to be around him.

Ophiuchus

Fraudulent zodiac refers to Ophiuchus, Noah’s alias, which he brought up again this episode (more on that later). How much does Rosa know about the meaning of the alias and all of Noah’s secrets? Fraudulent zodiac could still be seen on her hand in the pod.

Max refers to himself as a savior in episode 2, then pretends to be just a guy from Roswell with severe control issues, then a God, then a savior who doesn’t want to live in the past and won’t let his siblings do so either, even if they did lose a close family member moments or hours before, then he decides to just go all out on the savior thing.

He’s been very consistent, all season long, with the idea that everyone has to act normal, unless he decides that he wants to use his powers for something. All of his rules have a Max exclusion. Since Max is a bonehead, this exclusion usually means trouble. I know I’m supposed to be all “OMG, Max sacrificed himself for Rosa and Liz!” But, while he was trying to do something nice for Liz, he died because was drunk on his own power and got carried away:

“He kind of feels like a god, and he makes the rash decision without remembering that he had a heart attack earlier that day; he’s not as strong as he feels.”

After watching how cruel he was to Michael when he’d just lost his mother and wanted to get answers to the questions that had plagued him his entire life, Max still gets no sympathy from me.

I hope no one who reads Metawitches regularly was too surprised that Rosa came back, since we’ve been talking about that for weeks now. The way Noah spoke about her in the present tense in the last few episodes was a dead giveaway, if you hadn’t figured it out before that. I didn’t correctly guess the twist that brought her back, so I’ll probably be wrong about how Max will come back, too, but, honestly, sometimes I have more fun making up alternate versions than I do watching the show. As is obvious, we have a love/hate relationship.

Max compared himself to Jesus in episode 2 and in this episode Noah told Max that he’s a God and the Savior. Just what Max’s ego needed. OMG. Then Max went and proved he’s Zeus or Thor-like by pulling the lightning out of the sky, and shooting it from his hands, as expected. It took a lot of lightning to take out Noah, who tried to tell Max that they’re bound together as Ophiuchus and the serpent.

Let’s review who Ophiuchus and the serpent are. When Noah as Isobel was platonically courting Rosa, he signed his love notes as Ophiuchus, which is a constellation and considered in some systems to be the 13th sign of the zodiac (November 30-December 18ish). The night she died, Rosa wrote “fraudulent zodiac” on her hand, which refers to both a Third Eye Blind song and Ophiuchus the astrological sign/constellation.

Mythologically, Ophiuchus is the serpent bearer, an image of a man holding a large snake who’s wrapped around his body. The man is generally described as struggling with the snake, but there is one myth that turns the snake into the man’s legs and another which has the man learning about healing herbs from the snake. Because of the association with snake venom, Ophiuchus is associated with poisons, medications and healers. As Kyle showed in this episode, a medication and a poison are only differentiated by the dose given and the skill of the healer.

There are two interesting stories about Ophiuchus and the serpent that might apply to Max and Noah. One is that they will struggle together forever, because their powers are equal. The other is this one (from wiki):

According to Roman era mythography, the figure represents the healer Asclepius, who learned the secrets of keeping death at bay after observing one serpent bringing another healing herbs. 

This would suggest that Max and Noah are immortal. Maybe Michael and Isobel as well, since Noah frequently lumps the three together as being valuable to their people, and all three had super premium pods, plus they aged very slowly in the pods.

But, more importantly, we just saw Kyle, a healer, put Jesse Manes into a coma, using poison, a deliberate reminder of Ophiuchus, in the same episode when Noah brought the serpent bearer up. It took only a few drops of the antidote to bring Noah back, which I expected, because he’s so strong. Then Max pelted Noah with energy until he was overloaded.

I don’t think that Max and Noah are dead. They are both in deep alien comas. All of the energy Max threw at Noah could be what he needed to heal him from the damage he sustained in the crash and during his 60 years in the pod. He could be dormant right now because he’s healing.

Max is probably very depleted, but basically unkillable. He just needs to suck some energy out of some people. Non-fatally, of course.

Or Isobel and Michael will discover their healing powers and bring him back. In the books, the aliens all have the same powers. Since Noah started showing off his multiple powers, I’ve wondered if the show was going to ultimately go in that direction. Given Michael’s increasing telepathy and and Isobel’s new telekinesis, it looks like that’s what they’re doing. They all just practiced whatever power came to them first and easiest, and left it at that, because that’s what Max told them to do. But in reality, they all have all the powers, they just need to practice. Noah is the snake that was supposed to teach the trio how to use them.

Maria’s Pollen Pendant

Noah said that aliens have been coming to earth for a long time, so it probably shouldn’t be surprising that Maria’s family would know of a way to stop them that’s native to northern Africa. But it does bring up some questions: How many people know about this pollen’s power against aliens? Is Maria’s family from that part of Libya? Is there or was there an alien stronghold in Libya? Did Mimi’s dementia start after she gave Maria the necklace? Is Maria part alien and the necklace suppresses most of her powers (except her psychic powers)? Did Isobel pass out when she tried to get inside Maria’s mind because of the pendant?

  Images courtesy of The CW.

Roswell, New Mexico Season 1 Episode 13: Recovering The Satellites Recap So, that was a lively episode, y'all. There were deaths, rebirths, saviors proclaimed, religions explained, siblings revealed, lightning shooting from hands (told ya), medical comas induced, romances consummated and Liz still had time to identify the rare Libyan flower in Maria's necklace.