#i was thinking of buying him but then when i realized he was just a fucking head i just left him there......

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Bucky realizes just how dirty minded reader is after playing Cards Against Humanity with their friends, and realizes how to use it his advantage.

Dirty Mind » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky finds out how much of a dirty mind you have during game night with your friends and uses it to his advantage.

Warnings: Smut (18+), language, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, fingering, vibranium arm kink, praise kink, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵 also, I’ve never played Cards of Humanity so this is based off of what I Googled and looked up on Pinterest

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞

You managed to convince Bucky to go to game night at your friend’s house tonight. Actually, you promised him that you would buy him plums if he would go with you. In other words, you bribed a Super Soldier with plums.

Anyway, now here you two are. You guys are in the middle of playing of Cards Against Humanity. Bucky isn’t playing, because he doesn’t understand the game so he’s just watching. He’s also looking at your cards, which are pretty graphic to him, but he’s not complaining.

Bucky watched you put a card down after your friends did. He leaned forward to read it. His eyes went wide when he read it. That’s when he realized how dirty minded you are. He leaned back against the couch and smirked to himself, thinking of how he can use your dirty mind to his advantage.

You decided to stay the night at Bucky’s apartment after leaving your friend’s house. As soon as you closed the door, Bucky pinned you against it, catching you by surprise.

“Who knew that you had such a dirty mind, doll.” Bucky says in almost a whisper.

You bit your bottom lip and giggled, looking up at him.

“I thought I was making it pretty damn obvious all along, Bucky.” You say seductively, rubbing your hands against his strong chest.

“I’m sure you were, doll face. I just didn’t realize it until now what a dirty fucking girl you are.” He says lowly.

Bucky’s eyes flickered down to your cleavage, getting a clear view of it in the shirt you’re wearing. He bit his bottom lip when he got an idea. He nudged his leg in between yours to move them apart. You gasped when you felt his thigh touch your panty covered pussy. “Good thing I wore a skirt today.” You thought to yourself.

“Are you going to be a good girl and take everything I give you, babydoll?” He asks.

“Yes, Bucky.” You answered submissively.

“Good girl.” He praises.

Bucky’s vibranium hand disappears underneath your skirt, finding its way to your wet panties. His vibranium fingers rubbed your clit through your panties before moving them to the side. A shiver went through your body when you felt the cool feeling of his vibranium fingers touching your pussy. His fingers rubbed against your folds, smearing your slick around. You couldn’t help but look down at his vibranium hand in between your legs.

“Looks like I have a dirty girl on my hands.” Bucky whispers in your ear.

Literally.

“I bet I can get you to cum so fast with my vibranium fingers.” He said softly in your ear. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you staring at it.” He says with a smirk.

“Bucky, please!” You whined.

“What do you want, babydoll? Tell me what you want.” He says, kissing your neck.

“I want you to- fuck… I want you to fuck me with your vibranium fingers.” You tell him through a moan.

You felt the tips of Bucky’s vibranium fingers circling your entrance before sliding two fingers in your pussy. A soft moan left your lips at the feeling of the cool vibranium in and against your pussy.

Bucky watched the expressions on your face change each time he thrusted his vibranium fingers in and out of your pussy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned your head against the door. He took the opportunity to kiss along the column of your throat. His teeth nipped at your skin.

“Bucky…” You moaned breathless.

“I love the way you moan my name, doll.” Bucky murmurs softly.

Bucky sped his fingers up, curling them and hitting your sweet spot perfectly. You bucked your hips against his vibranium hand and moaned loudly.

“Did I find your little spot?” He coos.

You moaned and nodded. Bucky curled his fingers every now and then as his fingers continued to fuck you. He curled his fingers against your sweet spot again, making your knees buckle. Bucky wrapped his free arm around your waist to keep you from falling.

“Your legs getting weak already, babydoll?” Bucky asks in soft voice.

Your hands held onto his chest and you nodded your head yes.

“Tell me, doll…” He begins, kissing just below your ear. “What else do you have on that dirty little mind of yours?” He asks curiously.

“I- oh fuck…” You paused to moaned. “I want you to fuck me in every position you can think of all over this fucking apartment.” You admitted. “I want you to spank me and choke me too.” You added.

“Fuck…” He growls, feeling his cock become uncomfortably hard in his jeans. “I’ll fuck you all you want as soon as you cum on my fingers.” He says.

Bucky sped his fingers up. His thumb applied pressure to your clit as he rubbed it. Your hands clutched the fabric of his t-shirt. Your orgasm was building up fast. It felt like you were going to fall apart on his vibranium fingers any second.

“Oh fuck! Bucky!” You moaned loudly, throwing your head back against the door.

“I know you’re close. Cum for me, doll.” He says lowly.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and a pornographic moan left your lips when you came. Bucky’s vibranium fingers fucked you through your orgasm. His fingers came to a stop and his thumb gave your clit one last rub before he took his fingers out of your pussy.

You lifted your head at the same time Bucky licked your cum off his vibranium fingers, moaning at your taste. You felt a new wave of wetness while watching him do that.

“You taste incredible.” Bucky said. “I hope you’re ready, because you’re in for a long night, babydoll.” He says lowly with a smirk plastered on his face.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[jiminrings]

anything

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 10k

glimpse: yoongi doesn't want to move on from his ex because she's everything he's ever known, whereas you want to move on from him because he's everything you've ever loved.

alternatively, yoongi's your best friend and you've been in love with him your whole life.

[ angst, fluff, friends to Not Friends to lovers, pitiful amounts of Yearning And Pining, emotional constipation, second lead taehyung being unbearable And delicious somehow, jealousy, the harrowing argument of what it means to seek growth n seek comfort, VINDICATION!!!, redemption ]

notes: because i've decided that i will never become sick of writing lovers who are doomed but not really, here we are 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ to get the full experience, pls listen to the song that was the inspo behind this!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! 

Yoongi's only ever been with one woman his entire life.

Ever since he turned old enough to introduce someone to his parents without them mistaking it for puppy love, which in his case was at seventeen years old, Yoongi quickly realized that he doesn’t ever want to introduce anyone other than Haein.

Yoongi, at his fresh age of seventeen, made a pact to himself to never bring someone home again if it’s not Haein, because bothering a nineteen-year old you for your own house slippers to lend to his girlfriend (he didn’t want to spend his allowance buying a nice pair when he could just sacrifice his dignity by groveling at your feet for it) was too much of a hassle.

He didn’t like the fuss that came with forming crushes. Yoongi’s spent countless nights scrutinizing his first love’s actions during recess and microanalyzing her tone towards him from the morning earlier— he doesn’t want to go through any of that again. 

He doesn’t want the grown-up equivalent of it either, because all throughout high school and some bits of college wherein he and Haein were together and totally not broken up in a perpetual on-off cycle as usual, Yoongi thought that he was set for life with her.

Unlike you, he hasn’t had his share of multiple first kisses. Yoongi, not even once, stepped into a bar with wandering eyes and a hopeful perk to his tone. He hasn’t worried about making first impressions again, nor has he ever had to ask how many people came into the picture before him.

In Yoongi’s eyes, it’s only been Haein the entire time. There’s no before, during, and after her, even if the last phase in time is just something he hopes for and is not set into stone. 

It’s still Haein for him, the kind, starry-eyed girl that wore your house slippers when she stepped foot into his childhood home for the first time to meet his parents, and it’s been her ever since.

It’s still her, because she never knew that the slippers she wore was actually yours, which made it her one and only designated pair, so much so that she even took it with her when she moved in with Yoongi in their shared apartment.

It’s still her, because you’ve gone through multiple pairs ever since, and so did the boyfriends you took home to meet your family.

It’s still Haein, because Yoongi hasn’t moved on from her even if they broke up for good (or atleast that’s what you’ve heard in verbatim and what Yoongi refuses to confirm) a year ago.

"There's nothing wrong with being with someone new," you snort, your tone bordering on condescending to which Yoongi predicted correctly, simply because you’ve had this conversation a million times already. 

You told him that in your attempt to comfort him when Haein broke up with him back on the second semester of their first year in college, wherein he found himself wailing against your sheets at your dorm.

You told him that in your attempt to appease him when he broke up with her during their junior year, wherein he had to wipe at his tears furiously before fixing his tie because it was only hours before your graduation and both your parents downstairs are calling for a picture.

You tell it to him now too, in your attempt to convince both Yoongi and yourself, as he starfishes on your couch while reminiscing what could’ve been another anniversary (albeit choppy and not at all continuous) of the first time they held hands.

"Yes there is," he groans, his emotions maturing enough not to cry helplessly unlike the past breakups, but not enough to stop glomming onto you. “I don't want to talk about my favorite color again. I don't want to answer how many siblings I have. I don't want to be asked the extremely quirky question of whether I think pineapple belongs on pizza or not, again!"

"It's only normal to introduce yourself again and again until you find the right one for you!" you laugh, your self-built amusement keeping the entire situation light for you because if you don’t find a way to distract yourself from Yoongi holding onto Haein pathetically, just like how you do so with him, you’d be as devastated as him.

You’d be devastated too if you realize that there’s little to no chance of earning back the only person you’ve ever truly loved, if not more— except you’re not Yoongi, and he’s not Haein.

What you have to go through is more devastating because Yoongi’s never really been yours in the first place.

"But I want Haein to be right for me," he whines, his eyes sleepy from all the fatigue that comes with driving all the way to your place, just so he could be miserable around you and not apart from you. “Even if she's not, I want it to be her."

You’re quiet for awhile, and Yoongi doubts your silence because you’ve only ever chewed his ear off whenever he started moping about Haein. He’s noticed it ever since you were young; you’d never let a single second pass without overwhelming him with your words whenever he thought too deeply, too lowly about anything. You didn’t give him a break to even think when it comes to times like these, so Yoongi grows even more concerned when you give him a break.

He’s used to the noise that is you trying to distract him from everything that pains him.

"For the record, you already did those things twice in your life,” you murmur after some time, looking up from the glass of wine that Yoongi poured you and bought for your collection before he made the decision of crashing out over Haein in your living room.

"Oh my god, did I kiss someone while I was drunk? When you dragged me out for drinks last week? When-… when it was, uh, when it was the anniversary of me and her moving in and-…”

"No, you monogamous asshole," you interrupt, rolling your eyes. "You did it with Haein."

"What are you talking about?" Yoongi tilts his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to comprehend what you’re saying.

You still look annoyed at him, as you’ve always done whenever he comes to you crying about her, but now, you look more subdued; like you’re a little more melancholic for god knows what reason (Yoongi knows it’s definitely not about him and Haein’s breakup), and a little less agitated at having to have this conversation for the nth time.

"I knew you first, Yoongi," you remind faintly, shoulders offering a weak shrug. "You had to do it all over again for Haein when she came into your life, but I don't see you complaining."

Yoongi hits pause on his agony to frown slightly, sitting up on your couch in order to nudge you with his shoulder. ”But that's different because I grew up knowing you. It's only natural for you to know me this way.”

The snort that leaves you borders on offensive, and Yoongi automatically narrows his eyes when he senses the hint of sarcasm in your smirk.

”You mean know you as intimately as your one and only girlfriend did? Maybe even more than Haein actually does know you?"

"If you put it that way it sounds weird, but yeah," Yoongi scoffs defensively, crossing his arms on his chest before looking up at the high ceilings of your apartment in surrender. “Aren't just close friends basically lovers without the formalities?"

Yoongi’s only ever been with one woman his entire life.

You figure it’s because of that so he doesn’t know what he’s saying. 

You figure it’s because of Haein’s monopoly on his feelings and experiences that you convince yourself that Yoongi hasn’t been kicked around enough, to realize that what he’s saying is enough for you to assume a higher, closer place in his life.

You figure that Yoongi only knows love because of Haein and not love itself, enough for him to tell you that being close friends with him is the equivalent of loving him in that light, only without the coveted crown that comes with being his first and only love that Haein still possesses.

"You're right," you mutter, downing the rest of your wine and the assumption that Yoongi knows it’s him whom your hearts yearns for. "It does sound weird when you put it that way."

( ♡ ) 

Yoongi’s a manny. 

More specifically and less confusingly, Yoongi’s a male nanny and he enjoys the job.

When you graduated two years earlier than he did, all he talked about was how happy and envious he was for you over being born earlier than him. He told you that you were unfair (and so were your parents) by bringing you to the world earlier and not as the same time as him, even detailing how he wants to be just a day older than you instead of you being ahead by two full birthdays.

When you graduated two years earlier than him, proving just how lucky you were (even if Yoongi argues that it’s your sheer intellect and not something as silly as luck) by landing a coveted job, all Yoongi could talk about was how he wanted to follow in your footsteps.

He’s not in the place where you are now, and although neither of you are bitter about it, some part of Yoongi still thinks what could’ve been.

“I should’ve never brought it up,” you apologize sincerely, nudging him with your knee to get the point across because you didn’t really mean to throw him into a loop.

You’re sure that Taehyung, your colleague who’s one year your junior and knew both you and Yoongi from college, didn’t really mean to offend the latter either, or atleast that’s what you think. 

You only opened up about your brush-up with Taehyung in the elevator because it was your first time bumping into each other having worked in the same company for so long, and you thought (read: thought) that Yoongi would be amused about the interaction too.

You thought that Yoongi would be amused about your encounter with Taehyung because the third question he asks you (the first asking how you were doing and the second asking if you were single) ventures straight to Yoongi and what he was up to. 

You thought he’d be amused that Taehyung still remembers how the both of you were attached to the hip despite being apart in year levels, but with the way Yoongi scowls (even for just the briefest second), you knew that you hit a sore spot. 

“Nah. It’s okay,” Yoongi exhales, glossing over the random question of Taehyung asking if you were taken before willing himself to forget it completely, and moving onto the facet that you thought offended him. “It pays well, honestly. I didn’t think I would ever score a job like this.”

“Me neither,” you shrug lightly, being relieved when you see the playful roll of Yoongi’s eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he whines, throwing his head back in faux annoyance, to which he may or may not attribute to Hwayoung’s (one of the children he looks after) tendencies.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way, Yoongs. It’s just that, well, I pictured that you’d be this hotshot data analyst, or I.T, or something equally as technical and now-…” you trail off, the smile in your face genuine. “You’re a hotshot nanny.”

“This wasn’t my dream. You knew that,” he snorts, asserting his point by once again bringing up your extensive knowledge about him. “But I was just strapped for cash this one time, and I was behind on rent and my stupid, complicated job at my old company didn’t pay on time– then you already knew about my neighbors being these newlyweds with twin babies and before I knew it, I was looking after them! I was making bank by staying up like I’ve always done, and I get an audience when I’m talking to myself!”

Yoongi doesn’t overestimate your familiarity for him, and neither does he overestimate your sincerity towards his decisions. You judge him, sure (you’ve never made your annoyance for his weakness for Haein and his affinity for their backwards-moving relationship a secret), but you’ve never actually discouraged him from anything.

You didn’t talk him out of getting back with Haein all those breakups ago.

You didn’t talk him out of applying for unrelated jobs outside of his degree.

You don’t talk Yoongi out of anything, even anyone, that’s capable of bringing him joy.

“You love what you’re doing and you’re earning a shit ton. You don’t have to be affected by what an old classmate is asking.”

“That old classmate is working in the same Fortune Global 500 company as you are,” he chuckles just a little bit bitterly, making you nudge his knee a little harder this time. “But still,” he deadpans. “It’s okay. I’ll get over it. I can consider this as practice anyway.”

“You’re… opening up a babysitting company…?”

“Stupid,” Yoongi snickers, squeezing your knee tightly before his hold disappears. “No! I mean practice before I have a family in the future!” he laughs, shaking his head at you as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world; as if his optimism for a future with Haein isn’t persistent. “I don’t know what’s Haein’s take on working if we ever do have children, but either way, it’s nice to know that I already have the basics mastered.”

Whenever you least expect it, even if you should know by now after spending so much of your life with Yoongi, he reminds you of your place.

“You and Haein aren’t even together now,” you mutter, keeping your gaze low.

“Can you shut up?” Yoongi groans, slouching in his seat. “I’m not saying we’re gonna have a family now. I’m saying maybe we’ll have one in the future.”

“But you’ve been broken up for years.”

“Again, Y/N,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, the playfulness between the two of you slowly but surely dissipating. “I need you to be quiet.”

( ♡ ) 

Your parents like throwing thanksgiving parties for you and your siblings.

It’s quite literally the joint event for all seasons because your parents don’t even dare to set out cake for anyone outside of your family to eat when the holidays come, promising to make the party they excessively fuss about to be an umbrella for the rest that they miss throughout the year.

It’s an event that none of you really asked for but your parents insist on anyway; mostly to celebrate their accomplished children, and just a tiny bit more to brag about the lives they’ve managed to cultivate.

Yoongi, like for every other thanksgiving party that your parents have thrown, shows up in his most prized suit. It’s his most expensive and cleanest one to date, and it’s a suit that he reserves only for your parents’ shenanigans; not for a relative’s wedding, and not for a rich friend’s event either — he wears it just for you.

“I’d hate to be your unemployed cousin during this time of the year,” he jokes, being unable to look around the room without locking eyes with atleast one of your relatives or mutual friends and waving at them, yet Yoongi’s not really peeved about it at all.

“Yeah, that side of the family hates us,” you laugh, the tension in your shoulders loosening when you realize that you have nothing to be anxious about, especially when you’re just across the person who knows you the most.

You have your fun in these thanksgiving parties, and Yoongi has his own. Your definition of fun means owning up to your achievements and not attributing them to luck, poking fun at your siblings behind their backs, and maybe striking up a conversation or two with a family friend that you forgot was more handsome than you thought he’d be.

Yoongi’s fun on the other hand, only ever revolved around you and Haein when it comes to these parties. Now that the latter wasn’t invited this year and he’s not capable of trailing after her like a puppy, feeling like an outcast amongst a sea of accomplished individuals, Yoongi can now trail after you, feeling like he belongs.

“Look at my parents. They keep boasting about you so much, you’d think they gave birth to you,” he nods his head to them, talking your aunt’s ear off as they keep gesturing to you, grinning when you catch their gaze.

“I don’t look at you as a brother. Gross!” your nose scrunches, making Yoongi roll his eyes and subsequently kick you lightly in the shin.

The two of you, thankfully, are okay. The awkward conversation that transpired about Taehyung’s curiosity and Yoongi’s own insistence of a future with Haein seems to never have sprung up in the first place.

You’ve known each other for a lifetime; it only felt appropriate, nevermind unhealthy, to let familiarity take its toll to make the two of you complacent enough to not apologize to each other and still be okay by the next day.

“My parents didn’t graduate college, but you knew that already,” Yoongi talks, gaze still holding out to his parents from a distance like it’s a stare he can’t break off because his eyes feel too comfortable. “They found a lot of things– a lot of people annoying because they made them feel inferior, but we never felt that way with your family, y’know?”

You’re not one to deny the distance between you and Yoongi; everything from your age difference, to how your childhood house overlooked his, and even to the feelings you share and don’t share, there’s an imbalance the two of you would never be able to tip.

“Your parents are genuine, close friends with my own, and your family never pitied ours,” he smiles, eyes crinkling in gratitude as he does so.

“I know that,” you return the sincerity, eyes set on his while his gaze is directed elsewhere. “But where’s all this coming from?”

“I see the way you look at me,” Yoongi shrugs, the second that it takes him to turn his attention to you making you falter.

You don’t know if you’re more scared or relieved at the possibility of Yoongi knowing about your feelings.

“And how do I look at you?” you test the waters, tilting at your head to try and closely gauge the tiny smile on his lips, but you come up empty.

“I can’t tell exactly, but you always look at me with some sort of guilt.”

“Why would I look at you with guilt?” a breathless laugh escapes you, the ease plastered on his face making you more and more pressured.

“I don’t know either! You tell me,” Yoongi laughs brightly, slinging an arm across your shoulder to which no one bats an eye to, because although they don’t know the two of you as well as you know each other, they have a semblance of it.

They know how you and Yoongi are friends; how you and Yoongi are close friends who are basically lovers without the formalities.

“We’ve known each other for a lifetime, Y/N. There’s nothing about one another that could surprise us anymore.”

“That sounds so boring,” you mutter, the words slipping out of you before you could even control them, effectively dampening the sentimental mood that Yoongi’s in.

“Excuse me?” he asks, a little bit offended but a lot more hurt over your comment.

“We’re not always gonna be the same, Yoongi,” you continue, staring at your feet with your voice low because it’s not like you can retract your words anymore; they’re as out there as you are when it comes to loving Yoongi silently.

“Do you… not want to be friends with me anymore?” he whispers, arm suddenly stalling as he tries to deduct whatever the hell you could possibly mean.

“Where did that come from?”

Yoongi chuckles uneasily, almost regretful he even said that outloud in fear of manifesting it. 

“I don’t– I-I don’t know! It’s just weird with the way you’re talking. Like you purposely want us to change.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t,” he emphasizes. “If you’re already comfortable with the life that you have now, you don’t need to change,” Yoongi blinks slowly, unfamiliar with the way your eyes lack emotion. “I have you. I have the manny job. I have Haein.”

You’re quiet as you let Yoongi think and simmer in whatever he had to say, and he hates it.

“Is this life not enough for you yet?” he asks hesitantly, the premature scoff that leaves his throat making the bitterness linger for the slightest second. “What more could you want?”

You want to say it’s only him whom you lack, but you stay quiet.

You give Yoongi both the silence and the space to think, and he realizes that he’s never wanted to be overwhelmed by you more.

( ♡ ) 

Things have been awkward between you and Yoongi.

You didn’t mean to sound beyond ungrateful and out of touch, but simply (and maybe even arrogantly) put, Yoongi just didn’t get it. 

He didn’t get where you were coming from because he’s only stayed in one place long enough to call her his future. He didn’t get what you could be possibly going through because Yoongi only longs for comfort and not change because the latter wouldn’t benefit him in any way.

He’s right about him having the manny job makes him happy because he gets a heavy check and a learning experience. He’s also right, even if he’s rarely accurate when faced with her, about having Haein because you figure that if you were in his position, you wouldn’t ask for anything more.

If you were anything like Yoongi by having had the privilege of harboring the person you love and the life-long burden of having to yearn for her, you would be satisfied too.

It’s been a full week since the two of you talked and it’s the longest you ever went without any communication. There’s no texts coming from your end, but there had been plenty of it coming from Yoongi’s.

Yoongi, your best friend, knows that you didn’t end your thanksgiving party in the happiest note because he happened. He felt apologetic about it ever since because he didn’t mean to sound self-absorbed to the point of projecting his selfishness onto you; painting you as the villain would be the last thing he’ll ever do because he knew that between the two of you, you were the stronger one.

You’re the more rational, focused one who studied the same degree as he did, yet actually amounted to something infinitely more even if he’s the younger one who had more opportunities than you ever did.

You’re the more unyielding one between the two of you, because you can stomach ignoring him for a week while he’s about to lose his mind.

Yoongi could send a hundred more texts wherein he pretends to have mistakenly sent a discreet, low-lying sorry to you (because the two of you barely ever apologized to each other) instead of another person. He could react to a message of yours from two months ago just to try and see if you would comment on it.

He could even call you by Haein’s name just to purposely piss you off because he’d settle for anything if it meant breaking you out of your silent treatment, yet you don’t even move an inch whether he calls you on your phone or lingers in the coffee shop you frequent at in your workplace.

Yoongi can pull a hundred different reasons with most of them involving how he’s running errands with the children he looks after. He can say that Hwayoung knows your name (and he’s not lying about it either) and that she asked where you worked, and the both of them just happened to be in the area during their morning walk. He can say every excuse under the sun just to try and get you to talk to him, but you won’t budge.

Yoongi doesn’t like change but he likes the days wherein you rant to him about your day and ask how his went, just like every week before this one. He doesn’t like growth in the guise of everything he’s comfortable with being stripped away, but he likes the nights wherein he could call you and ask you to look after the children in the living room while he goes to the bathroom, when really, he’s just standing from a distance to look at you coo at them.

So when Yoongi got the call from your brother, asking him for a favor to look after your nephew if only he was free for the day (he wasn’t, but he made it work nonetheless), he immediately jumped at the chance of maybe, just maybe seeing you drop by at your family’s home.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” he says under his breath when he locks eyes with you in the nursery, your presence only being a surprise to him alone because he didn’t think you were staying with your parents the entire week when normally, you’d be a little high-strung staying with them after three consecutive days.

“Just been busy. Sorry,” you reply quietly, your apology only being an afterthought because you’re unsure who’s at fault.

“Me too,” Yoongi clears his throat, bouncing your sleeping nephew on his arms as he indiscreetly makes his way to you. “I’m sorry too, I mean.”

It’s weird for the both of you to apologize to each other.

It’s weird for you to see Yoongi in your childhood house and have no one question his presence, because the scene of him cradling your brother’s baby with a cloth strewn over his shoulder and your sister’s headband on his head to keep his hair away from his face, only looks right.

It’s weird for Yoongi to see you so torn up over him, and it’s even weirder that all the anger he had towards you for ignoring him just immediately dissipated.

Yoongi puts your nephew down on his crib with a precise gentleness to him, his hands cramping up not because he spent so long trying to get him to calm down, but because he doesn’t ever know what to do with them whenever you face him.

“You didn’t have to do this for my brother, y’know? You shouldn’t feel pressured to say yes just because he asked,” you clear your throat, filling the silence in with your voice that Yoongi has missed so badly.

“What are you talking about? I’m not on the clock right now,” Yoongi furrows his brows, the frown on his face evident. “I’m not here as a manny. I’m here as an uncle.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh,” he snorts, the snarky expression from him cutting through the tension between you. You could just throw your head back out of relief, knowing that Yoongi’s not that mad at you, but the both of you know you’re far from the clear.

You’re far from the clear when you don’t make a single move to come towards him across the room, even if it’s the only thing you wanted to do the past week.

You know you’re far from the clear and even further from moving on when it’s Yoongi who comes to you, his pace slow yet definitive, his fists unclenched for once as he practically leaps towards you in the end.

It takes one, two seconds for you to realize that although it’s Yoongi who made the first move to get close to you, it’s you who puts your hands on his cheeks, forehead rested against his with your eyes closed, tightly. Painfully.

Yoongi opens his eyes when you do, staying in your grasp even if he realizes that you almost kissed.

“You can read my mind, Yoongi, right?” you whisper, pulling apart briefly to look up at him, yet close nonetheless because you could still practically hear his heart beating out of his chest.

“Yeah,” he swallows the lump in his throat, the hand he has around your waist loosening for just a fraction of a second, yet you don’t need it— you don’t need him to unravel further to confirm what you’ve always known.

“So I don’t need to say it out loud,” you smile tightly, the shaky sigh that leaves you making Yoongi’s lips purse out of guilt. “So I don’t need to say it out loud that I love you,” you say in your mind, eyes already stinging even if Yoongi hasn’t let go of you yet.

“You don’t,” he affirms, his voice hoarse as his hand on your waist still doesn’t budge, the other cradling your wrist because he can’t decipher if it’s him wanting to keep your hand on his face, or if it’s him keeping you away. “You can read my mind too, right?”

You nod earnestly, the smile that he gives you even being tighter than yours.

“Right,” he clears his throat. “So I can’t— I-I don’t have to say it either,” he whispers. “I don’t need to say out loud that the feeling isn’t mutual,” you read in his mind, the silent admission effectively relieving you of the weight you’ve carried ever since you knew him.

Yoongi’s phone ringing is the only thing that snaps the both of you from your daze, your immediate composure being shaky despite having prepared for this for so long because you knew it anyway.

You know that no matter how much Yoongi looks like he belongs to you, your life, and everything in between, you still won’t stand a chance against the person who’d make him drop everything new for the promise of coming home to everything he’s familiar with.

“It’s uhm— it’s Haein,” he explains, the nervous grin he has on face being infectious despite your very own appearing for a much different reason. “She wants to talk about things.”

“You don’t have to let me know,” you shake your head, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Go, Yoongi.”

.

.

.

You’re not ignoring Yoongi anymore.

Apropos of nothing, Yoongi and Haein are talking again.

They’re not together, yet, but you know how it always ends between them anyway, so you steel yourself for the worst despite it being Yoongi’s best.

( ♡ ) 

You badly want to change.

You badly want to change and although it’s not Yoongi’s fault, the way he hovers around you makes you feel otherwise.

You already made well on your promise of not shutting him out whenever things get tough for you, but even then, no part of the way you’ve been acting recently ever appeases Yoongi.

He’s accustomed to you growing like you always have been, yet he didn’t even think that you changing bit by bit could ever impact him this greatly, Sure, Yoongi’s happy that you’re no longer ignoring him intentionally, but his stomach still turns every time you do reply to him at an ungodly hour and he’s reminded of your little joke (he hopes it is) that you’re more active at that time of night because of your extracurriculars.

Yoongi’s happy that you still turn to him, but a large part of him, if not the entirety, grows bitter when he sees you looking happier nowadays and he can’t tell if it’s because of something you’ve already told him or if it’s because of something totally unrelated and how he could never know, because the one thing that he made you promise is for you to keep being his friend.

You’re still Yoongi’s friend before, during, and after your confession, and he doesn’t know if that placates him.

Yoongi doesn’t want to amount to anything less than a friend to you but he doesn’t want to be your family either. He wants to be whatever it is in your life that knows why you’re smiling so much and why you barely rant to him.

He wants to be whatever, whoever, it is your life in order to know that you’re seeing Taehyung right from your mouth and not from your brother’s like he’s a jaded suitor that’s been anticipating bad news.

Yoongi wants to matter enough, as if he already doesn’t, to know about you having a boyfriend.

“You have a boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?” he spits, the way he barrels into your apartment with his own keycard being unceremonious. 

Yoongi knows today’s your rest day and he knows that by this time, you’d be on a call with him to ask about his day and entertain Hwayoung who keeps butting into your conversation. By this time, it would’ve still been you and him, whether or not Haein and Taehyung were in the picture.

“You’re hooking up with the guy that talked shit about me, and you didn’t bother telling me?”

“Taehyung didn’t talk shit about you,” you scoff, closing the door after him as you follow him into your living room.

Yoongi’s eyes widen comically, heart clenching when he realizes that you have no comeback for anything else he’s said, jaw clenching as he points a finger at you.

“He fucking looked down on me-…”

“He was just shocked!” 

“Are you seriously defending him instead of being on my side?!” he exclaims, the sarcastic chuckle that leaves his lips rubbing you wrong because for any other person and any other instance, you’d laugh with him too.

“Do you not expect me to?” you snarl. “You’re dragging my boyfriend’s name to an argument that you started, and you don’t expect me to defend him?”

“You’re being a hypocrite,” he grits, nostrils flaring in sheer anger.

“And if I am, then what about it?!” you throw your hands into the air, poking your finger at his chest yet he refuses to get out of your face. “Have you not ever been a hypocrite when it comes to defending the person you love?”

It’s not your glare that gets him to back off.

It’s not your hostile, defensive nature towards Yoongi, in defense of Taehyung, that makes him deadly silent.

It’s you, holding up a mirror for the same blind defensiveness that he’d always carry whenever your words just barely graze Haein’s honor.

You’re guilty of judging Yoongi, but not of dissuading him from pursuing Haein like he’s always done — Yoongi, however, can’t say the same for himself.

“I hope Taehyung’s worth it,” he spits. “I hope he’s worth treating me like this, because not once have I ever made you less of a priority even when Haein was still in the picture.”

The use of was makes you pause, the past tense making you blink owlishly and finally take a step back from Yoongi as if it’s just your proximity to him that was the raging problem.

“Haein was my girlfriend but I never, never turned my back on you. I never made things awkward for us. I never stopped showing up for you, even if it costed me with her. I never made you feel the way you’re making me feel now,” Yoongi heaves, jaw clenching from how hard he’s ignoring the lump in his throat.

You chuckle sarcastically, the briefest glimpse you have of yourself in Yoongi’s words making you feel utterly pathetic. “Yeah? And how am I making you feel now?”

“Like we haven’t known each other our whole lives.”

( ♡ ) 

It’s been months since you and Yoongi properly talked to each other.

Life got in the way between the two of you and as much as Yoongi didn’t want to push, you didn’t want to grow out of the comfort that you already had with Taehyung either.

There were still texts and calls, but in between Yoongi getting whisked away for his employers’ vacation for a change and you being content with your job and your boyfriend as your comfort, neither of you made any drastic moves after your fight.

The only apology that Yoongi could get out of you after storming off from your apartment was you asking if he had already eaten dinner two nights after your fight, while the only apology that your close friend could ever give to you was that he hadn’t (even if he actually did), just to get your conversation rolling.

You feel guilty reserving parts of you from Yoongi, namely Taehyung and how he fits into your life, even if it’s always been established that there’s no use hiding. You know a terrible lot of information about how Yoongi and Haein are in bed against your will, and Yoongi has an awful amount of knowledge about your preference for condoms and how you like your men. 

There’s guilt in your chest and you don’t think it would ever disappear for as long as Yoongi’s still in your life. Being defensive about anyone outside of your family and Yoongi, specifically because neither are synonymous no matter how much Yoongi keeps recurring from your family’s mouths, is something entirely brand new.

Taehyung is new to your system, just as Yoongi was all those years ago, and it scares him more than it scares you.

The concept of lagging behind someone who had just been a casual topic of interest (more specifically because he had seemingly offended you and him) then became your boyfriend overnight feels like a giant slap on the face because Yoongi, not once, has ever entertained the possibility that you’d be as lovesick as him.

He didn’t think that you were also capable of being defensive about a loved one who isn’t him, just like he is over Haein. 

He didn’t think about how angry and offended he’d feel seeing you become so protective of someone who doesn’t know you like he does, because in Yoongi’s defense, Taehyung doesn’t know shit about you.

Taehyung does not and will never know you like he does, because he never trailed after you and idolized you in everything that you do, so much so that he only pursued his degree because you did before him.

Unlike Yoongi, Taehyung never had to be taught by you how to drive and what it means to have his family’s manual transmission car stall right after the stoplight turned green, because it meant you having to comfort Yoongi who was in tears after being honked at, and you lying straight through your teeth to his parents by saying that he was excellent and should definitely be trusted with driving the car alone with Haein to take her on dates.

Unlike the person you know the most, Taehyung never had to have the conversation with your dad about looking after you in college despite being younger, yet puffing his chest out nonetheless to agree because he made it his personal mission.

Taehyung will never be Yoongi and the latter takes pride in it, except now, he feels that Taehyung doesn’t ever want to be in his position—

Why would Taehyung vie for his position when it’s clear that he’s at an advantage?

Yoongi ignores his feelings and grievances the best that he can, yet unlike the old him who could endure so much shit because it meant having you to lean on, he can’t help but explode now that it’s you whom he can’t see eye to eye with.

“Taehyung and I were thinking of eloping,” you say out of the blue, your admission feeling appropriate (in your eyes, atleast) because you and Yoongi have so much to catch up on after being apart and he strayed the topic towards your sister who’s expecting her first child.

You thought it was your turn to say something equally as life-changing, because with the way Yoongi hasn’t talked about Haein once and you assuming that it’s because they were back together and he was just shy to talk about it, you bit the bullet first.

You thought wrong, clearly, because the happiness completely drains away from Yoongi the moment you finished your sentence.

“What?” he asks. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, don’t be stupid,” he repeats, eyes narrowing at you in anger. “You’ve only been in a relationship with him for months-…”

“I’ve known him for years-…”

“And that still doesn’t justify you marrying him just because you feel like it,” he spits, your revelation far from making him happy like you thought it would. “Stop being stupid, Y/N. You’re not marrying Taehyung just because you’re in another one of your impulsive moods.”

Your mouth falls open at that, scoffing in disbelief because Yoongi isn’t letting up in the slightest with the way there’s no hint of his outburst just being a sick joke.

“I’m not being impulsive. I really do want to marry him!”

“Oh yeah? How’s married life going to work out for you when-…”

“I only told you because I wanted to let you know. I wasn’t asking you to weigh in, Yoongi,” you snap, crossing your arms in defense while Yoongi only steps towards you.

The thought of eloping with Taehyung crossed your mind once after a weird dream, and you thought nothing about it at first so you texted him and went right back to sleep. What you didn’t expect was that he didn’t hate the idea at all (in fact, he was even happy that you thought about it), and Taehyung’s confirmation for something unlike you, for something that resembled to settling and being comfortable, changed you completely.

“You don’t expect me to interfere when you tell me you’re going to make the biggest mistake of your life?” Yoongi huffs, his eyes widening over your seeming indifference. 

“Who the fuck are you to tell me that getting married to Taehyung would be the biggest mistake I’ll ever make?”

“I’m your closest friend! I know you better than you know yourself and-…”

“You don’t,” you retort. “Clearly, you don’t know me at all or even respect me when you think the worst of Taehyung when you barely even know him!”

“I could know Taehyung for a decade and still think the fucking worst of him!” Yoongi raises his voice, laughing humorlessly as he runs his hand through his hair. “I could know Taehyung or any other guy for a lifetime and still think that they won’t ever be good enough for you!”

The laugh that escapes you is offensive.

It’s as offensive as Yoongi making your graduation about him by crying to your sheets because Haein broke up with him, and it’s as offensive as you scoffing to his face when he said that having his job serves as his practice for a future with her.

“What, because you’re in love with me?” you spit, trying to trigger something in him just so he could leave you be, for good, because everything that’s he’s saying to now– with the defensiveness you’ve only heard from yourself whenever he rationalized trying to get back with his first love — takes you right back to your previous pining.

Yoongi’s only silent, trusting that you could read his mind, and you’ve never hated knowing him as much as you do than now.

“You’re telling me that you’re in love with me, right when I decided I was sick of loving you my whole life?” you whisper, the tears stinging from the corner of your eyes making your heart clench. You’ve been called too stubborn. Too calculating and too heartless, even by your own family, and for you to unfold in front of Yoongi this easily makes you wail. “Are you shitting me, Yoongi? Are you— are you out of your goddamn mind to tell me this?”

Yoongi looks down in shame, the truth of him being over his first love not relieving the weight on his shoulders like he foolishly expected, because everything he falls short when he sees you crying.

“I didn’t want to get back to Haein with something weighing so heavily on my chest,” he whispers. “I didn’t want to get back with her because you just ignoring me for a fucking week hurt more than any breakup I’ve had with her.” 

Yoongi, vividly, can remember how distraught he was. He can remember how he can’t recall a time wherein he didn’t have you to depend on, as if he didn’t ever outgrow the phase of him idolizing you and following you wherever you went.

As if he’s still the seventeen year old him asking to borrow your slippers for Haein, while deep down seeking your approval for her because he didn’t want to do anything without you beaming at him.

“I-I felt… I felt like I was losing my mind, Y/N.”

“Can you read my mind right now?” you ask, shakily exhaling as you look down on the floor.

“That’s a really stupid thing to bring up right now,” Yoongi breathlessly chuckles, letting his hair brush past his eyes because he’s a little terrified of looking how distraught, how disappointed, you are. “But no.”

“Do you not want to say it out loud?” he asks, making you laugh silently as you gathered the strength to sit next to him, yet not as close as you always did. “Whatever it is, it’s not like I’m going to give up now,” he mumbles, looking down on your hand that’s rested on the cushion, your pinky finger just centimeters away from his, yet he can’t move to hold you like he wants to.

You wanted Yoongi and he wants you, and there’s only so much points where you could intersect until you say what’s been lingering in your mind, just like every other apology the both of you have passed up.

“We need some time apart, Yoongi. We need space,” you mumble. “We need to figure it out on our own before we figure it out together because-…”

Yoongi finishes your thought for you, head tilted down and hand outstretched with the hope that comes with being a little too late for someone who’s waited a little too long.

“Because we’ve known each other our whole lives.”

Yoongi refuses to break even if he comprehends exactly what you’re saying, because there’s no point in it when he knows he’ll never be angry at you. You can defend him and you can hurt him all at once, yet he’ll never curse you, simply because there’s no point picking at wounds he’ll keep on licking anyway.

“Do we just-…” he shrugs lightly, pinky finger painfully close to yours until he makes the heavy move of lifting it, just enough to to cover yours. “Do we find our way back to each other? Is that it?”

“That’s the plan, hopefully,” you smile, sucking in a breath you never thought would be this heavy. “I’ll find you if you find me.”

“I’ll find you when you find me,” Yoongi corrects. “We’ll find our way back to each other.”

You resent comfort and Yoongi abhors change, but there’s only so much the both of you could take until you realize that the only thing constant in your lives is each other, no matter how many seasons pass you by.

For Yoongi, it’s you.

Despite everything, it’s still you.

( ♡ ) 

The year that you spend with Yoongi flitting every once in awhile like he’s only a friend, and not the man you’ve first loved, is a year you didn’t think you’d ever spend.

Despite you and Taehyung separating amicably, he still took with him the love that you sincerely invested. He wasn’t the first boyfriend you’ve ever had, and although you were no stranger to heartbreak, he still imprinted a large chunk of him onto you.

At one point in your life, you did want to marry him; and at several points in your life after him that you don’t even think of denying, you really thought it would be him if not for the life that you led.

You don’t resent Yoongi for loving you a little too late because there’s no point in it, as much as Taehyung doesn’t even hate you in the slightest for letting him let you go in pursuit of the change that the both of you badly needed.

Yoongi could never bring himself to hate you either, even if being apart from you gnawed at him from the inside. Making something out of himself had been his biggest plan outside of pursuing you from a distance, because as soon he tendered in his resignation letter to his employers and cried right in front of the children he looked after, Yoongi won’t ever lie and say that he wasn’t scared.

Yoongi resents change even if you’re someone who yearns for it, and even with the terror that wracks his bones of starting new without you being there for him as his safety net, Yoongi does it scared anyway.

He does it scared with one eye closed as he puts the degree he’s only learned to love because of you to work, developing an app for families to look for certified, trustworthy nannies.

He does it scared anyway with his heart barely into himself and fully into you when he shows up a full night early before your family’s thanksgiving party, donning his reserved suit as he clutches a new pair of house slippers, which again, like always and just like he is, is only for you.

For you, it’s Yoongi.

Despite everything, it’s still Yoongi.

[dorabellingham]

Bed breaker

warning: there is a part where if your native language is not english, you can substitute :)

characters: jude x reader

summary: when you decide to do certain things and the bed ends up breaking

may contain spelling and translation errors!

You were relaxing on the couch, wearing a light and comfortable dress, still savoring the unforgettable moments of the day. The apartment was silent, except for the sound of your favorite playlist playing softly in the background. It was already night when you heard the front door open.

—Babe?

Jude called, entering the apartment with his hair still damp from the shower in the locker room after training. He was dressed casually, in a tight black shirt and sweatpants.

You stood up with a smile, going to greet him.

—Here!

Jude wrapped you in a tight hug, burying his face in your neck.

—How was the rest of the day? Did you have fun?

—It was perfect. —You answered, feeling his comforting warmth. —And your training?

—Tiring, but nothing I can’t get over. —He pulled you closer, running his hands around your waist, and murmured: —Now all I can think about is how I want to end the day.

You laughed, but you could hear the tone in his voice.

—Oh, yeah? And what would that be like, honey?

He tilted his head, looking into your eyes with a mischievous glint.

—I think you already know.

Before you could answer, Jude picked you up, ignoring the shy protests you whispered.

—Jude!

You exclaimed, laughing as he carried you towards the bedroom.

He gently placed you on the bed and climbed in right after, pulling you towards him. The atmosphere quickly changed from playful to intense, with the closeness of you and his slow, determined touches.

You always loved the way he made you feel —special, wanted, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. And in that moment, you knew he was completely focused on you.

Things heated up quickly, the two of you completely forgetting about the world around you. But then, as the rhythm grew more intense, a loud crack echoed through the room, followed by the sound of wood breaking.

You and Jude froze, exchanging confused looks. And then... the bed gave way completely, the mattress sinking to one side as the frame broke.

You let out a yelp of surprise and then began to laugh uncontrollably. Bellingham, who was half on top of you and half trying to balance himself, let out a deep laugh.

—Are you okay, Y/n?

He asked between laughs.

—I am! But the bed clearly isn’t!

You replied, wiping away tears from your laughter.

—That was a sign that we’re too intense.

Jude joked, sitting on the crooked mattress.

You shook your head, still laughing.

—I knew this bed was flimsy, but you took it to another level, babe!

While you tried to compose yourselves, you started talking without thinking, still lost in the fun of the moment.

—It's completely ridiculous... I don't know how this happened

Jude stopped laughing and looked at you with a mixture of surprise and delight.

—What did you just say?

You blinked, realizing what you had said.

—Oh, sorry, it was automatic.

—No, no, keep going. —He asked, still smiling. —I love it when you talk like that. It's been years since I've heard your accent, sweetie.

You blushed, but decided to continue.

—I don't even know what to say. Maybe you should buy a sturdier bed?

Jude laughed out loud.

—I'm sure I'm going to have to buy one now. But you talking like that… I almost don't want you to stop.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide your smile.

—You're really stupid, Jude.

—And I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cute.

He replied, leaning in to kiss you.

After a few minutes of joking and talking, you decided to improvise. Jude pulled the mattress to the floor and adjusted the pillows.

—This will have to do for now. And tomorrow, we'll buy a bed that can withstand our adventures.

You settled down next to him, still laughing lightly.

—I can't believe the bed broke today.

—I'd say it was a memorable way to end the day.

Jude replied, hugging you.

As the rain gently tapped on the window and tiredness finally caught up with you, you realized that, despite the setbacks, you wouldn't trade that moment for anything. You laughed until you fell asleep, promising that the next one would be even more unforgettable—with a new and much more resistant bed.

[heartandbow]

Midnight Blue

BUCKY BARNES X FEM!READER SMUT

summary: Bucky hated you in many different ways, and tonight was no exception. tw; smut, choking, dom!bucky.

Despite Bucky's reputation of being big, bad, and dangerous, there is yet to be a time he ever scared you. Even now, where he was in the very building somewhere to kill you, you knew his only weakness — he couldn't sneak around.

It's not surprising when you think about it. With his death stare and metallic arms, anybody would spot him coming from a mile away. You just have to make sure you're faster than him, which happened to be your specialty. Being a thief for the last few years taught you everything there is to know about blending in with the shadows.

Which was a shame, you thought, because I look nice today.

You did look nice. You were currently in a gala for some valiant cause or other, hosted by some rich businessman you hadn't bothered to catch the name of. You had on your midnight blue gown, embedded with pearls that reflected off the champagne glasses and Rolex watches.

"Excuse me," one of the attendees said, tapping your shoulder. "Are you Miss Malley?"

"No," you smiled broadly, knowing the guy was about to hit on you any second.

"Oh, my mistake." He had a sheepish grin. "I'm Shane. Can I buy you a drink?"

"The drinks are free," you said, grinning right back.

"I know."

"Aren't you busy trying to find Miss Malley?"

"Who?" The smile hadn't worn off.

This particularly uninteresting conversation was cut short by sudden silence at the gala. The foolish sack of a man had diverted your attention just enough that you saw a metallic death stare at the end of the gala — a stare that seemed just for your particular demise.

Don't panic, you thought, staring right back. He wouldn't dare hurt you with this many people present. Even then, he was making his way towards you. You moved away, silent as a ghost.

With each turn of crowd, you realized you might quite possibly be stuck. Bucky had brought in reinforcement ranging from Natasha Romanoff to Captain America, all of them in regal formal attire and in different corners. No one except Bucky had spotted you, possibly because he was the only person who actually had a personal vendetta against you.

Get out, your brain said clearly. Get out before they bring you to Stark. You had enough beef with that man to last for a lifetime.

You grimaced, then looked for the exit. Not the one that the attendees use, no, that would be too easy. You headed for the staff exit, the one behind the kitchen.

---------------

Half an hour later, you were walking through the dark alley, your heels clinking against the pavement. You were exhausted from all the walk, but you were used to this dance by now. Move until the target is off your back. That's how it's always been.

You wondered if you'd ever get tired of the steps.

Someone whistled. You turned to see a man around his late 40s, clearly drunk out of his mind.

"How much for the night, sweetie?"

You squinted. He looked harmless enough. You kept on walking, ignoring his continuous calls behind your back.

"Don't be like that! What, I'm not young enough for you? I thought your kind took money from anyone with a dick!"

You had half a mind to punch him in the face with the hidden knife.

No, walk on. Last thing you need is a corpse on the street.

A second passed, then two. The man's immediate silence ticked off your senses. You turned around to see him on the floor, unconscious. Somehow, it did not look like it was the alcohol that took him out.

You were almost impressed when a knife appeared at your throat from behind.

"You're getting better at sneaking around," you said proudly. "You didn't have to knock him out though. Chap was not laying a hand on me."

"Shut the fuck up." Bucky's raspy voice sent a jolt of adrenaline down your spine. His anger was controlled, but you still could hear it.

"Your wish." You stepped on his shoes. He let out a pang of hurt, not expecting your heels to feel that sharp.

One moment of distraction, that's what cost him. You whipped your gun and faced him, smile on your face.

"How did you find me?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"That hardly matters." He put his hand out, grabbing the gun, or trying to anyways. You stepped out of the way just in time and he grunted.

"You need to loosen up. Like the night we did the Catherbury mission, remember?"

That only seemed to rile him up more. You didn't think he even cared that much about the fact that you were in Avengers a good deal of time before you sneaked into Stark's office, got his card, stole a great deal of gadgets and sold them off the black market. You didn't think he even cared you were the biggest thief in the city, one that fooled even the avengers.

His vendatta against you was personal, because he considered you his friend. The cold, cruel Bucky was duped for the world to see.

"I really think we should sit down and talk," you said, the gun still held high. "Everything I did was business Bucky, stop taking it so personally."

Bucky's face showed just a tinge of hurt, but then he hurled — no weapons, no hesitation. Just full-on pounced on you, and your back hit the wall.

"If everything wasn't so fucking personal, shoot me," he practically spat out those words.

You realized you hadn't even thought of using the gun that lay hanging lifeless from your hands. You tried to grip it, but Bucky pushed his hand on top of it, bending the metal seamlessly in a way it was upside down. You let it go and tried to move.

Bucky clapped his hands on the wall on either side of your head. His eyes were smeared with charcoal and he smelt like musky cologne.

"Where's your disappearing act now?" he whispered, making you feel all sorts of things.

"Let me go," you said, gritting your teeth. God, he was standing too close.

He bent his head down and brought his lips near your ears.

"You've no clue how long I wanted to have you like this," he said, making your heart skip a beat. "Unescapable, vulnerable, scared."

"I'm not scared."

"You should be." He put his hand — the non-metallic one — over your throat. His touch was gentle, but the message was clear; he could kill you in a touch.

Though it didn't help that you liked it a little too much.

"How did you find me?" you asked again, calmly.

"Shane is my friend. He put a GPS tracker on you. I knew you'd run so all I had to do was wait."

You were impressed yet again.

"How did Shane find me? I was blending in the crowd well."

Bucky's eyes shone brighter. "You weren't going to blend in with a dress that beautiful," he stopped, removing his hand. It was as if he just realized how close he actually was to you. His eyes slid down to your lips just a second. His hands started lowering from the wall to your waist.

Then his lips were on yours, and you could have sworn he put all his anger into it. One kiss and he was prying your lips open, making out with you in that dark alley with a knocked out man five feet away.

"James," you whined between kisses, pulling him closer. The moans did things to his brain. He slid his hands through the slit of your dress, grabbing your thigh with a force that had you unnerved.

"Can I—"

"Yes."

He closed your mouth with his other hand. "No, listen to me first. I want you to mean it. Completely. Because I don't know the things I'll do to you when you say yes."

In response, you took his hand from your thighs and slid them higher, right into your panties. You pressed your body against his and you could feel him being hard.

"I hate you," he said curtly, then picked you up with effortless strength. Two minutes and you were in a secluded part of the alley, and he was setting you down on an old bench. He bent down, keeping eye contact with you all the while.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, placing a kiss on your neck. You moaned, but didn't move. He dragged your lips from your collarbones to the edge of your neckline, and pulled the dress down.

Without waiting a beat, he took off your bra and kissed your nipples.

"Bucky," you whined, and all he did was bite down harder. He let his hand drag down and pushed two fingers right into your pussy. The pain was immediate and pleasurable. His pace was slow and you started grinding on his fingers for more friction.

"Shush," he said, taking off his fingers and setting you up straight. "Do you want me to fuck you, Y/N?"

"Yes," you said, moving in for a kiss. He turned his head away.

"Beg."

"Fuck me Bucky, please." You moved your hand to his pants, and he looked like he might lose all control. A few seconds of unbuckling and he took you in his arms, pressing you down to the bench and spread your legs wide.

You were wet already, and the sight of his big, hard cock hadn't helped. You were dripping down your panties.

"Beg," he said again, taking off your panties and throwing them away.

"Please fuck me, James, fuck—" you gasped when he thrust his dick in you. A moment of holding onto his hand and he was fucking you like you were his. He leaned over and bit down on your neck. A kiss and a few sucking and you knew that was going to leave a mark.

You didn't care. You were being dicked out of your soul and you were taking every second of it.

Then it stopped. He pulled away from you, his dick still hard. You were confused to see that big smile on his face, even more so when he started zipping his pants.

"You left me three months ago," he said, straightening his hair. He leaned down to kiss your forehead. "Next time you think of me, I want you to think of me fucking you like you're my bitch. How having my hands on your throat was enough to make you wet."

Revenge. That's what it was?

"You wanted to fuck me to make me regret lying to you?" you asked breathlessly, feeling ashamed that it already worked.

Bucky smiled. "I wanted to fuck you for a whole lot reasons Y/N, but I also want you to knock on my door and apologize, preferably on your knees and begging. On all fours. I'd sacrifice the rest of the night to see that."

He pulled you up and put the dress on tidily. "Goodbye. And, you really do look beautiful."

Motherfucker, you thought to yourself as he left.

----------------------------------------

commissions info

kofi

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[free-for-all-fics]

So I binge watched Squid Game season 2 a couple days ago and the brainrot is back in full force for The Recruiter and The Front Man. So here’s some more Squid Game prompts! Warning: These prompts are centered around Season 2 and contain spoilers! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of these and I’d love to read it! 🔴🔺🟥

1. You knew The Recruiter when he was younger, back before he worked in the games and was removing and burning up the bodies of countless people. He was like the game players and homeless people at one point in his life, having hit rock bottom. His actions in the park are an expression of self-hatred and an attempt to set himself apart from them. The Recruiter has nothing but contempt to people who choose the lottery and is more than happy to stomp the bread just to spite them, but he happens to at least approve the people who pick the bread.

“These things aren’t human. They’re just trash, uterrly useless in this world.” He kept telling himself that and worked hard for a few years. Then they gave him a gun. It felt pretty good. Like his existence was acknowledged for the first time in his life. He doesn’t know which year it was but one day he was about to shoot a man who had lost a game. The guy seemed familiar. His dad. His dad was suddenly standing right in front of him. He was in tears, desperately begging him to spare his life. He shot him right in the middle of his forehead, and realized, “Ah. I’m cut out for this job.”

He had absolutely no qualms about shooting his own father dead. He even admits that when he killed his father in the games, he realized he was totally the type for his job, mentioning no remorse or guilt. But what if him shooting his own father proved his loyalty to the people he worked for and so they rewarded him by making him a recruiter and letting him keep you, the love of his life or object of obsession from his past life in the outside world. Asking the Host and his higher ups for a companion is just one thing, but it’s a big thing, and he’s scared to death that he will never see you again once he asks. Most of the staff are ruthless killers motivated by profit, but out of all of them, The Recruiter is one of the few who seems genuinely psychopathic, his businesslike attitude masking a vicious sadist who revels in humiliation, torture, and murder.

Still, it’s nothing short of a miracle in his mind that he’s allowed to have you. You’re just living your life, but then you get kidnapped and brought to an undisclosed location and while the room you’re in is admittedly very nice, you’re terrified. Turns out your kidnapper is your childhood best friend or college sweetheart who you lost touch with years ago when he went into the games. To you, he ghosted you or went missing and you were never able to find him. His own family hadn’t heard from him and didn’t know where he was. He’d go so far to keep you that he’d fake your death. He spoils you rotten but he also punishes you if you misbehave or act out of line. Treats you like a princess, fucks you like a whore kind of thing. He doesn’t keep around those dog bone shaped gags and possibly even sex toys or buy you nice lingerie and jewelry for nothing. He doesn’t want to break you as you’re his favorite toy, but he’ll do what it takes to properly train you until you learn to accept your place as his lover. His amiable facade comes down and it turns out he's psychotic and it frightens you but a part of him gets off on your fear. You see yourself as a prisoner, but he insists it doesn’t have to be that way if you just relax and love him back and be a good girl. You loved him once, didn’t you? You were his only friend. The only woman he’s ever loved. How hard can it possibly be to love him again? He’s the only one who can protect you and love you now. Everyone else thinks you’re dead.

He’d go so far as to kill anyone who stands in his way of having you, even your significant other if you have one or your family and friends. The Recruiter absolutely enjoys what he does to his victims, especially during the Russian Roulette game. You have no one else to turn to for comfort or conversation besides him. A part of him hates it when you cry but the other part of him is turned on by your tears and the fear in your eyes. He doesn’t have a god complex, more like a death complex. He’s given himself over completely to his philosophy of death. He believes he’s Death incarnated into a man with how people’s lives are in his hands, and that includes yours. And aren’t there so many famous artworks of Death and His Maiden? Why shouldn’t he be able to keep you as his?

If he was your first ever sexual partner, he’d make for damn sure he’s the only one through silently and stealthily arranging for your other potential partners to die in tragic “accidents” or go missing with their bodies never found. Just like he’s dedicated himself to the games, he’s dedicated himself to proving he’s worthy of you everyday by protecting you and giving you everything you ask for - except real freedom, of course. He can only give you semblances of freedom by allowing you outside under heavy guard watch or his watch. You can’t go anywhere alone anymore. You can’t have a cell phone that connects to the internet (or if you are allowed the internet, you’re only given access to certain websites while the rest are blocked) or any phone numbers except his. He’s practically isolated you.

2. Going off the idea of what if you knew The Recruiter back when he was younger and working in the games: Alongside him, you’re also a pink guard. You’re one of, if not the only female guard. The Recruiter is the first to find out that you’re a woman despite the mask covering your face, the voice modulator, and the suit covering your body. You spend a lot of time together when you have to shoot the eliminated players and then remove and burn the bodies. You use a separate channel on your walkie-talkies to have private conversations while you’re on a job during the games or to talk from your separate dorms after the day’s work is done. When other male guards try to attack or sexually assault you in your room for getting in the way of their illegal organ harvesting side hustle due to you shooting the bodies in the heart or head to ensure the players die quickly and make the organs unusable, he comes to your rescue when he hears the struggle over the walkie when you manage to press the button. He practically breaks your door down and takes the guards out with his bare hands or a random object in your room. He’s so strong and skilled he doesn’t even need to use a gun or a knife (in the show he subdued two men just with his briefcase). You watch as he subdues both guards, knocking them out with ease. He would’ve loved to kill them in that moment, but he doesn’t have the right to do that. He can only report the incident to the Captain/In-Ho. Pink guards cannot kill other pink guards. They’re only permitted to kill players. Only the Captain can kill pink guards.

After interrogating them and reviewing the security footage, In-ho kills the guards who attacked you and puts an end to the organ harvesting for that year by killing all of the guards operating it. Whether they sell off organs from the dead or devour them, he doesn’t give a damn. However, the most crucial element of this place is equality. Everyone is equal in these games, including guards. Players compete in a fair game under the same conditions. Guards work under the same conditions. They are to follow the instructions they are given. There is a principle to these games. And those guards that attacked you for being a woman and doing your job and the guards operating the organ harvesting side hustle broke that principle.

Later, after work is done for the day and guards are ordered to return to their rooms, The Recruiter sneaks into yours so that the two of you can have sex. When he saw you getting attacked, he wanted more than anything to rush to your side and comfort you and hold your hand and ride his adrenaline-filled high by having sex with you after subduing the guards, but duty called so he couldn’t. When In-ho is overlooking the security cameras and notices The Recruiter in your room instead of his own with both of your masks off, locked in a heavy make out session while he has you lifted in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangling in and pulling his hair while his hands cup under your thighs to hold you up against the wall, your pink jumpsuits half way unzipped, he changes the cameras to play back earlier footage of both you and him so that it looks like you’re alone in your rooms so his higher ups won’t suspect anything while you inevitably do whatever it is you want to do. The Recruiter and you have proven your loyalty. You both deserve a reward. As long as you’re both back in your own rooms by morning call, he doesn’t care.

After that, The Recruiter shoots his own father dead after he fails a game. You and he work your way up to becoming the recruiters you are now, possibly even posing as a friendly married couple to get vulnerable people to trust you more (even better if you’re actually married as it makes the ruse more convincing). You do love each other in your own way, but you also are well aware that love makes people incredibly easy to manipulate and you use that to your advantage in your line of work. Together you prey on people who are hanging by a thread and are the best performing recruiters the games have ever had. In the privacy of your home, you listen to opera music, share drinks, and get down to all kinds of kinky shit when you find yourselves in the mood. You take turns when it comes to who’s dominant and who’s submissive, and your sex games often include bondage, roleplay, pain, and blood. And sometimes the blood isn’t even yours or his. When people get nosy for their too damn good, you and/or he have to take care of that.

3. Underneath the smiling facade, The Recruiter is little more than a small fry. When Gi-hun repeatedly calls him a lapdog and considers him nothing compared to whoever he works for, it gets under his skin, although he doesn't have a complete breakdown over it. Getting reminded of this repeatedly is part of why The Recruiter eventually shoots himself in the chin. But let’s pretend The Recruiter doesn’t commit suicide. Instead of being strictly dominant or strictly submissive, this man is a switch. While he loves to be in control sometimes and use your body however he wants, there’s also times when it’s you who’s the dominant one. You dress up and behave as a dominatrix while you put a mask over his face to blindfold him, gag him with the bone shaped gags and tie him up, doing to him whatever you want and calling him your dog. Your good boy. He runs, barks, wags his tail, does whatever you, his mistress, says and you reward him with praise, treats, etc. You do the same thing when it’s his turn to be the master and for you to be his good girl, his bitch. This man would probably be into puppy play whether it’s you who’s the puppy or him. And yeah that would probably include either of you being locked in a human sized cage or an actual dog kennel as punishment for whenever you misbehave. You’d take turns between who’s holding the leash and who’s on it on all fours, etc. The sex acts you do together, this dominatrix and roleplay arrangement you have, it’s like therapy for him in a way. A way for him to reclaim being called a dog when he was young and poor and turning it into something good. Even if it’s dehumanizing at times. The humiliation and the sadism is part of what turns you both on. Of course you’d have a safe word, aftercare, and all of that. But let’s be real: He’s just as skilled as you are at taking orders, deepthroating objects, and being penetrated.

4. Inspired by the film “The Odds”: You join an underground game of pain endurance, hoping to win the cash prize of one billion won. But it’s not the traditional squid games where you’re competing with other players in person. This is something different. This is the squid games before the squid games became what it is today. Instead, you’re isolated in a windowless room with little more than a table, a couple of chairs, a cot to sleep in and a toilet to shit in. It’s like a prison almost. Whenever you’re given a shower, if ever, you’re heavily sedated so you don’t lash out against the workers bathing you. The Recruiter is one of many who are assigned to players to keep them company, explain the rules of each game, and oversee their progress. Each player has their own recruiter assigned to them and The Recruiter we’re familiar with in the show is the one assigned to you. You have nobody else but him to keep you company. You don’t ever see anyone, don’t ever hear anyone except for him. He looks awfully familiar and you have a strong feeling you’ve met him before, that you know him from somewhere. Throughout the course of the week that you’re there, you’re determined to figure out how you know him. In the meantime, you flirt with each other, playfully talk about getting married and having a house and kids when you get out.

But at some point during the course of the games, the playfulness erodes and The Recruiter turns dead serious, revealing that he’s so in love with you that it’s like an unhinged obsession. Maybe you choosing to come here was in actuality you being lured into a trap, all a part of his elaborate plan to finally get you right where he wants you to fulfill his sick and twisted romantic and sexual fantasies. Maybe before that, he paid sex workers and strangers who looked like you to sleep with him, just to keep him satiated so he wouldn’t snap and kidnap you before the time was right. He might’ve gone so far as to call them by your name and become really scary real fast if they tried to correct him. The things he did to those women might’ve been so bad that they were unspeakable. But he paid good hush money to keep them quiet. And if that didn’t work, a bullet always did. But sleeping with all those women could never live up to the real thing. Nobody watching you now would be able to hear you nor would they care if he had sex with you in between games. He’s done it before with desperate female players who wanted to stay alive a little longer. And if they performed sexual favors for him as he asked - more like ordered them to do - Who is he to deny pretty women an extra five minutes of being allowed to breathe before he pulls the trigger? A deal is a deal and he’s a businessman.

He’s a man of do the wrong thing, yield rewards. To him, he’d feel like he’s entitled to your love and your body after all he went through in his life to get to this point. He’s worked his way up from a nobody who just disposed of and burned bodies, then they gave him a gun, then he became a recruiter. One of the best if not the best in the company. He’d kill for you. Even if you don’t ask him to. Even if you plead with him not to do anything and let it go. But he’s also so unhinged he might even hurt or kill you if you fail to live up to his deluded fantasies. If he does hurt you, he’d do the classic, “Look what you made me do! I didn’t want to have to do that. I didn’t want to hurt you but you gave me no choice so this is all your fault and not mine,” shtick.

You soon discover the game's rigged, and your real opponent is The Recruiter - a sadistic psychopath, who works for the Host and the organizers of the game and knows everything about you. He knows why you’re here and about your child, bringing them up to keep you motivated to continue before you ever mention them to him. He’s just one of many of a network of people ranging from VIPs to guards who are part of this game. The way you see it, you have three choices: Provoke The Recruiter into killing you if you don’t die from the games before then, give into The Recruiter’s sexual advances to survive without playing all of the games and join him, becoming his lover/wife and possibly a Recruiter yourself, or survive through all of the games and kill The Recruiter. He keeps saying you can leave at any point but you realize over time that this is a lie and if you try to leave, you’ll be shot dead either by him or one of the guards.

(Below is some dialogue from the movie with some minor changes to showcase how Recruiter coded this scenario is.)

~

“So, yes, it is necessary to keep the location a secret due to the legal technicalities of the game. You know the rules, right?”

“Yup, but you can tell me again, Mr...”

“No names. It works better for me if we keep things less personal, you know?”

“Right. Kind of like a manager-employee relationship. I get it.”

“If you like. Anyway, the game, there are 19 other players at 19 other locations just like this.”

“In this city?”

“All over the country. There's a clearing house that receives and broadcasts the signal to select clientele. The same clearing house acts as a broker for all wages concerning the game.” He puts in his earpiece and presses a button. “Receiving end, online? Okay. Yeah, just a couple minutes, we'll get started.” He sits across from you at the table.

“Have you done this a lot?”

“A few times, yeah. There are five preliminary rounds followed by the finalist round. If you leave at any point during the preliminary rounds, you will leave with zero prize money.”

“I won't quit.”

“All players who get to the finalist round are committed to the game and may not leave.”

“I said I won't quit.”

“Okay. Now, the finalists will continue to play until there's only one player left. That winner will receive the money.”

“Have you ever hosted a winner?”

“Let's not worry about that. You just stay focused.”

“It's weird that people would bet on something like this.”

“Do you know any real gamblers? Real gamblers will make odds on anything.”

“And the prize money, it's a lot?”

“Some people think so.”

“I heard it was a billion won.”

“Where'd you hear that?”

“Same place I heard about the game.”

“Hm. That's correct, and the funds will be deposited in the winner's account.”

“They must pay you a lot. That's why you're here, right?”

“I'm here for the same reason as you.”

“I doubt that.”

“Now it's almost time.” He takes a candle out of his briefcase and sets it on the table.

“I thought there was gonna be a gun.”

“Not yet.”

“Have I met you before?”

He listens to his device. “Congratulations, your drug test came back clean.”

“Of course it did.”

“I'm sorry, we have to check. Some players come in high, performance enhancing drugs, so to speak.”

“Well, drugs are where you go when you can't stand the pain anymore.”

“Where do you go, if you don't have drugs?”

“I guess we'll find out.”

He listens to his device. “Hm. Yes? We're good. You're good? Okay, standing by.”

“I know that they can see us, but can they...”

“Hear us? No. Say what you want. Your secrets are safe with me.”

“I don't have any secrets.”

“Everyone has secrets.”

“No, all my shit's pretty much out in the open.”

“All the shit you know about.”

“I think I know my shit pretty well.”

“This game has a way of illuminating a person.” He lights the candle.

“Oh, that's nice. You gonna put on some mood music? I'll take the Chardonnay.”

“So here's what's gonna happen, round one, on my signal, you, along with 19 other players, will hold your hand over the candle and keep it there. When three people have removed their hand, the round is over. Those players are out of the game. Everyone else will advance to the next round. Understand? Hello?”

“Yeah, I just... I heard it was different.”

“Used to be. They like to change things up, keep it exciting. You don't have to do this. It's still not too late to leave.”

“I've got nowhere else to be.”

“How about a home?”

“I messed that up.”

“You must have family somewhere. Everyone has family.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Kids?”

“No.”

“But if you did, how would you feel if someone took him or her away from you?”

“I guess I wouldn't like it.”

“And how would you feel knowing that he or she should've been taken away from you...that she...he, was better off...and that maybe now the only thing to do is to win a big pile of money so that he or she could have the kind of life that he or she deserves?”

“Hm. I don't think I'd ever risk my life over a pile of money.”

“Well, that's all mine's good for at this point.”

“Hey, listen. Look at me. We're in this together, you and me. I'm rooting for you, you understand? So just settle in. We'll do this. Word of advice, this is as much a mental game as anything else, so just keep that in mind if you really want to see this through to the end.”

“I'm gonna hear the words ‘you win’, or I'm not gonna hear anything at all.”

“That's it. Visualize success, that's good.”

“You say that to all your players?”

“Just the ones that seem to need it.”

“Have you ever played, from my side?”

“Let's get through round one, then we'll talk. We're about to begin. Last chance before the pain starts.”

“The pain started a long time ago.”

~

Round One

You hold your hand over the candle, while The Recruiter encourages you the whole time.

“That's it. Keep going. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Focus on breathing. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Okay, focus on breathing. Focus on breathing. Another player's out. Just one more player. Just one more player has to quit. Number three's out! You made it. You did it. Let me see. Come on.” He takes out a first aid kit from his briefcase and treats your wound. “So, we made a deal, and no, I haven't played the game from your side of the table.”

“How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many times have you done this?”

“14.”

“And how many of those players won?”

“You don't want to know.” A long pause before he finally answers, “None of them. Most players quit before the final round.”

“But some of them made it.”

“I've seen two men and three women blow their brains out.”

“You're just a little bad luck charm, aren't you? Did you ask the other players why they did it?”

“Same reason as you, the money.”

“Same reason as everyone I'm playing against now?”

“I wouldn't worry about the other players.”

“I just want to know who my competition is.”

“Most games, you're competing against someone, right? But in this game, you can't affect the other players. Can they make you leave this room? Who can?”

“You could try.”

“Okay, take me out. Who does that leave? That's right, you. And that's what they're betting on, how much you can take.”

“I'll take whatever you throw at me.”

“It won't be me throwing it at you.”

“So there is someone else here.”

“I'm a facilitator. The challenges for each round, they've been chosen by the organizers.”

“So it's not you. You're just doing their dirty work for them.”

“I didn't make you come here. I didn't make you sit there. I didn't force you to put your hand over a candle. You think I enjoy watching you do this? You think I like watching people hurt themselves? Man. Things I've seen, you don't forget it, you know?”

“Then why do you keep doing it?”

“You've never done something you knew wasn't good for you? Sit down. We're on the same side. That's the thing about this game, it...” He’s interrupted by information coming through his earpiece. “Round two, ready.”

“The thing about this game?”

“What?”

“You were just about to say ‘the thing about this game.’”

“The thing about this game is that it changes you.”

“Good?”

“I don't know how good it's been for me.”

“Maybe you've been playing from the wrong side of the table. Are you sure we haven't met before?”

“It's time.”

~

Round Two

“Round two. Players will put their bare right foot inside the box. The three that remove their feet lose. The rest move onto the next round.”

“And there's something in the box?”

“Yes.”

“And you don't know what it is?”

“No.”

Something from inside the box moves and makes a noise, causing you to jump.

“Hey, hey. It's okay.”

“What's in there?”

“I don't know.”

“That's bullshit.”

“They don't tell us.”

“You said that you have done this before.”

“It's different every time. It's probably not as bad as you think.”

“Fuck it, I'm out of here.”

“Now wait. What about your child?”

“Why do you care? You get paid anyway, I assume.”

He removes his ear piece so the organizers won’t hear what he says to you next. “Are you afraid of rats?”

“What?”

“Are you afraid of rats?” He puts his earpiece back in. “You need to decide, soon. One player just dropped out. That just leaves two for elimination.”

“This is insane.” You remove your shoe and sock. “So it's just in there waiting for me to put my foot in?”

“There's a separation barrier. When I get the signal, I remove it.”

“How fun for you.”

“I'm right here with you.”

“That's a comfort.”

“No, I mean it, okay? I'll help you.”

“You better.”

“It's almost time.”

“I must be crazy.”

You put your foot in the box.

“You got this.”

“I got this.”

“I mean, nothing's gonna happen. Oh, god, it's moving. It keeps moving.”

“Breathe. Mm-hm.”

“It's touching me, it's touching me. It's on me. It's off, it's off, it's off. Oh, fuck!”

“Think something else, okay? Don't think about this.”

“Oh, God, ow, ow, ow! It's back on me.”

“Think of something else. Okay, think of something else, don't think about this.”

“Oh, shit. I can't do this.”

“You can, yes, you can.”

“Ow, it's biting me! It's biting me.”

“No, it's not... One player's out, okay? That just leaves one more left.”

“Ow! Ow, it's eating me!”

“Look at me, look at me! I'm right here with you. Do it for me. Say it. Say it!”

“Do it for you. Do it for you.”

“Good. Again.”

“Do it for you.”

“Good. Again.”

“Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you.”

“That's it! It's over. It's over.”

You remove your bleeding foot from the box and cry in The Recruiter’s arms as he holds you.

~

He’s wrapping your foot with fresh white gauze. “Don't look. Okay.” He kisses your bandaged foot. “I kissed your boo-boo.”

You have some time to kill while you and he wait for the next game. He gives you a bottle of water. You need to stay hydrated. Lots of water.

“Gonna figure out where I know you from.”

“Well, good luck. Okay, let's say you don't quit.”

“I won't.”

“Right, you won't. Let's say you make it. You've already told me what you're gonna do for your child. What are you gonna do for you? If you really think you're gonna make it through, you should have a plan.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not really big on plans.”

“No, seriously, instead of giving your child the money, why don't you take them somewhere instead? Find a nice quiet place, bring along their daddy.”

“You had me going till you mentioned that asshole.”

“Okay, not him, a nice guy.”

“Why is it that everyone thinks that if a woman has problems, a man is somehow the answer?”

“You don't believe in love?”

“Maybe some people just aren't meant for it. Maybe they're just not built...for it.”

“Maybe some people haven't met the right guy.”

“And that's you? From bad luck charm to Mr. Right?”

“You could do worse.”

“Okay. All right. So say it is you, Prince Charming, man of my dreams, we're living together.”

“Mm-hm, married.”

“Really?”

“I don't do that cohabitation shit. You either commit or you get out.”

“And that's you? Mr. Commitment?”

“Damn straight.”

“So, is this a proposal?”

“I guess it is.”

“Well, either it is or it isn't.”

“It is.”

“Sweep me up my feet, why don't you?”

“You don't find this place romantic? So, we're in our home...”

“I didn't say yes.”

“You playing hard to get?”

“No. Yes. Maybe. A little. I mean, come on, we just started dating. How do I know you're not just marrying me for my money?”

“What if I don't need your money? What if I already have money?”

“Great, then let's get outta here. I don't have to do this anymore.”

“Well, then again, maybe I don't have that much money.”

“Okay, so, no money. Why should I say yes?”

“Because, deep down inside, you believe in love too. So, what's it gonna be?”

“How about we get through the next round, then I'll tell you.”

“You are playing hard to get. Ready for round three.”

~

Round Three

“What the fuck is it? Or should I ask what goes in it?”

“Your other foot. We go till three players drop out. You can do this.”

“Have you ever done this one before?”

“No. This is new territory for me. They're telling me we need to get ready.”

“Should I sit or stand?”

“Whatever you prefer. We're ready.”

“I don't suppose anybody's dropped out yet. Just wait.”

“Okay. Round three, turn one. I'm sorry.”

“That feels as bad as it looks.”

“All players are still in. Second turn. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do it for me, remember?”

“Wait, wait for me. Wait.”

“Turn number three.”

You pass out from the pain. You wake up to his voice.

“Player three has quit.”

~

He wraps up your other foot. “There. All better.”

“You’re pretty good at that.”

“One of my many talents.”

“Nine players are out by my count.”

“You're knocking them down. So...what about the answer now?”

“The answer to what?”

“Are we gonna do it, when all this is over? Are we gonna tie the knot?”

“Sure.”

“Well, then. Well, then how about a kiss for your fiancé?”

He kisses you. While he does, he slips a pill into your hand. “It's for the pain. Don't let them see,” he whispers into your ear. “Well, passed the halfway point.”

“Yeah, after this, marriage should be easy.”

“Yeah. Maybe every couple should go through something like this.”

“It's a great story to tell the grandkids.”

“Grandkids? We haven't even gone on the honeymoon.”

“Please, honeymoon.”

“Why not? Must be somewhere you want to go. Vegas, Paris, Costa Rica?”

“Not really.”

“Come on, nothing? Nothing interests you? And afterwards, when we get back to our apartment in the city...”

“In our house in the country.”

“Country's boring.”

“Can't have horses in the city.”

“Horses? More than one?”

“You can't have just one horse.”

“I'm not shoveling horse shit.”

“Fine, I want a divorce.”

“On what grounds?”

“Irreconcilable differences.”

“Okay, fine. A house in the country with horses.”

“Wow, what a pushover.”

“What can I say? I'm in love.”

You lay down on the ground with him, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.

His hands are behind his head. “You know, you can rest in that house in the woods.”

“Then I'd sleep for a week.”

“And after you wake up?”

“I don't know, maybe plant a garden.”

“What do you know about gardens?”

“As much as I know about anything else, I guess.”

“You think you could keep a bunch of plants alive?”

“What about you, mister? You're just gonna live off my money?”

He sits up. “There's lots of stuff I can do.” He gets up off the ground.

“I didn't mean anything by it.”

“I know what you meant.”

“Come on, I was just joking.”

“Sounded like an insult.”

“Why would I insult you? You're the only friend that I have.”

“That's true. Standing by.”

“God, can't they just give it a minute?”

“I know, like, what are they in a hurry for? They'll make their money.”

“Have you met them, the people running this?”

“A couple. They're not like what you think.”

“I think they're a bunch of weirdos who get off watching sick shit.”

“That's not it, at all. They're more like researchers of human behavior, and this is the ultimate laboratory.”

“Come on.”

“No, seriously, how do you think they have the money to fund an operation like this? They get to bet on human behavior every day, and win. Of course they'd be interested in a game like this.”

“We're just pawns to them. I doubt they even see us as people at all.”

“But it doesn't really matter what they think though, does it? And anyway, you should be grateful they've even given you this opportunity. If you weren't here, where would you be?” He sits on the table and slides his body over to you. “On the street, in a crack house sucking dick for a fix until your looks rot away and your teeth fall out? Where would your child be? In a group home getting daily beat downs from all the other toss aways with fuck-ups for parents. You know, you should be thanking the people who created this game, and you should be thanking me. This is the best opportunity for someone who screwed up all their other options.”

“Well, I'll be sure to send them thank you notes later.”

He suddenly smiles. “Look at that, our first fight. Come on, I was just playing. Let's get back to our house.”

“Maybe later.”

“Time’s up.”

~

Round Four

“How long can you hold your breath? It's a simple question, really. How long can you hold your breath?”

“I don't know.”

“Round four is easy. You just have to hold your breath.”

“I just have to hold my breath?”

“Yeah, well, that is while I'm holding your head underwater. You don't have a fear of drowning, do you? Hydrophobia, I think it's called. 'Cause if you did, this will be pretty tough.” He takes a bullet out of his pocket. “Bite on this. I'm kidding, just hold onto it. Jeez. Here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna face the tank, and when the time comes, I'm gonna hold your head under the water. You... You hold your arm out. If you want me to let you up, you just let go of the bullet. See? First three players to let go are out. Everyone else stays. You trust me, right? Well, you should, we're married.”

“I guess.”

“You guess? What do you mean you guess? You wouldn't marry somebody you don't trust, would you? Good. You know, it's good that you trust me 'cause that way you know that when it's time when everyone drops out, I won't just keep your head under the water. Oh. Looks like we have someone afraid of drowning. Our first dropout. You're not gonna drop out, right?”

“Right.”

“Because you want that house in the country, and you trust me, right?”

“Right.”

“Say it.”

“I trust you.”

“And you love me. Say it.”

“I love you.”

“Oh.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Whoops. Looks like we got another dropout. Okay, we got to get this thing going before we lose any more. Deep breaths. When the third player quits, I'll let you up. Get ready. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”

While your head is underwater, you dissociate and experience flashbacks of your life before this, of your child. “I love you.” You hear their voice say. That’s the last thing you see before The Recruiter pulls you back up as you cough and move your wet hair out of your face.

“I thought you were gone! Jesus, why didn't you let go of the bullet?”

“I swallowed it. Only way to make sure that I didn't drop it.”

The Recruiter gives you a towel, admittedly impressed.

~

“You know, with a little effort you could be a very attractive woman.”

“What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Well, when someone compliments you, it's polite to thank 'em.”

“Thank you.”

“How many guys have you dated?”

“How's that any of your business?”

“Well, if we're gonna be married, it's something a husband should know. Come on.”

“Come on, what?”

“How many?”

“I don't know.”

“That many?”

“Do you want to know how many I've dated, or how many I've fucked? Because I didn't keep count, but it was a lot. And sometimes I didn't even know their names.”

“Now why do I get the feeling that you're saying this just to hurt me?”

“You're sick in the head.”

“I bet you were a real looker. I bet the boys couldn't keep their hands off you. Hey, how old were you when you did it the first time? Sweet 16, 15? Yeah. You were an early bloomer.” He cups your breast and you instinctively slap him. He slaps you back, harder. “I'm sorry, but you should not have made me do that.”

“You know, you can't do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Come on, don't be like that. Let's get back to how it was before. And, you know, to tell you the truth, I've been wanting to do that for a while now.”

“You can't do whatever it is that you want.”

“Who are you kidding? Like you didn't want me to.”

“What?”

“Look, if you didn't want me to do that, why are you still here? You could've left at any time.”

“I’m here for the game, that's all.”

“Maybe this is part of it. You ever think about that?”

“No.”

“No? Well, of course it is. Why else would you be here?”

“For my child.”

“No!” He slams his hand on the table. “Don't give me that shit. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We alone walk the path. The Buddha said that. He was a smart guy, everyone says so. You put yourself here. You decided to stay 'cause you know that we belong together.”

“I didn't ask for any of this.”

“Why else are you here? Look, you could've gone any time. There's the door. It's always been there. Go on. Go on if this is so wrong. Nobody's stopping you. You won't go, because you know you belong here. You deserve this. Your whole life has been a long, long path that's led you to me.” He grabs your face and forcefully kisses you while you sob. At that moment, a guard walks in with a long bag containing something for the next game, causing him to move away and break the kiss. “We're on a schedule. You might want to reconsider. This might be your last chance.”

“For what?”

“To make love as a whole person. Round five. Here's where you really start to leave some skin in the game, so to speak.” He opens the bag, revealing a red hot branding iron. “It's not that bad, really. The Yakuza, you know the Yakuza, right? Japanese mafia, they do this kind of thing all the time. When they've screwed up, they remove body parts. It’s how they apologize for... Oh, forget it. Just take my word for it, you're not the first, you won't be the last, unless you want to leave. You go through with this, you won't be the same. Some cultures would consider you heavily scarred. Personally, I think you'll be plenty serviceable, but, you know.... If you're afraid of the pain, I can give you another Oxy.”

You take the Oxy that he gave you out of your pocket and set it on the table. He quickly swipes it off the table and puts it in pocket so the organizers don’t see.

“Jesus! Suit yourself. After this round, you'll probably be a freak, probably have a limp, from your legs being burned so much. Who will want to fuck you then?”

“I’m sure as long as I have all my lady parts, any sick fuck like you will.”

He pulls out protective gloves from the bag and puts them on. He takes hold of the branding rod.

“We're ready. Scoot your chair forward and remove your pants.”

You do as instructed, not letting yourself feel embarrassed for being sat half naked in front of him.

~

Round Five

Your ears ring from all the pain you’ve suffered so far. The skin on your thighs is burning still, your once flawless skin now marred with dark patches. Luckily the brand isn’t engraved with anything, but you know The Recruiter still gets a sick joy out of branding you. Like he thinks doing so means he owns you. Still, The Recruiter admits to you that he’s impressed with how many burns you’ve been able to endure so far. Some turns he held the branding iron to your skin longer than others, making the coloration in your skin vary. As the rounds progressed, you moved up from your thighs to one of your arms.

“Well, it's about time now. Turn seven. After this, your wrist will hurt so bad you won't be able to pull the trigger with your left hand. That career in trick shooting, it's out. Go on, get ready. You know, think about it, you don't really use your left arm much anyway. It's a right-handed world, you know?”

You’re whimpering and sobbing from the pain. Despite how difficult it is, you get up from your chair and walk away. You stand in front of the door.

“You're about to lose. You go through that door, all of this would've been for nothing. Is that what you want?”

You knock on the door.

“Wait! Three players have all just dropped out. You made it. Don't do it.”

“I have to pee.”

A masked guard opens the door and escorts you to the bathroom. He’s standing there the whole time, watching you impassively while you wash your hands and have an emotional breakdown in the corner. You stare at yourself in the mirror and gradually calm down, your resolve hardening as you think about your child. You hold a middle finger up in the mirror and pretend you’re giving it to The Recruiter.

~

When you make it back to the room, The Recruiter is sat in a chair, holding your discarded underwear in his hand. At some point during the game, it was too painful to wear them when the fabric brushed against the burns on your upper thighs.

“You mind? I thought I'd hold onto these. You know, something to remind me of our time together. What? Like you're not gonna use 'em. I’ll buy you much nicer lingerie to wear for me when this is over.” He tucks your underwear into his inner suit jacket pocket. “Well, sit if you're gonna. You know, I'll tell you something. I knew from the moment I saw you that you'd go the distance.”

“Is that right?”

“Mm-hm. Damaged people are tough. Fire, temper, steel, and all that.”

“You could tell I was damaged, huh.”

“Honey, you shone like a lighthouse. I wish I could've bet on you.” He gestures to the revolver on the table in between you. “Ever use one of those before? Don't worry, they're pretty user-friendly. You just point and click. If you don't hear the click, you're already dead.”

“Have you been a dick to all the players you've done this with, or am I just special?”

“I mean, they're all special, really, but if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite.” He winks at you.

It’s finally clicked for you who The Recruiter is. “I knew I'd met you before.”

“No. I’d remember you.”

“I've known you my whole life. See, I watched you get drunk and smash my older sister’s head into the front door when you were dating her. I dropped out of high school when you got jealous of my friends because you thought I was sleeping with them. I lied for you every time the neighbors called the cops because of the noise. I know you, very well.”

“You know, now that you mention it, you do look familiar. You look like every smartass bitch I've ever known. All the teachers who thought they were so clever, thought that they could just push around a kid. All the bitches in school who thought they could just lead a guy on, tease him. Those women at the jobs where they just wiggle their tits and their ass to get ahead of some poor son of a bitch who does the real work, who carries his load and hers too. You look like every stupid cunt who thinks the world should bow down and worship her because she was born with a pussy made of solid gold.”

“Nice. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I don't know what happened. You know, we started out so good. How did we end up like this?”

“I guess it was fate.”

“You think?”

“I think...I think…you know what I think?”

“Tell me.”

“I think that you found the perfect job to indulge in your sick fucked up fantasies.”

He slaps you, causing you to fall out of your chair and back up against the wall.

“You're right.” He slaps you again. “I can do anything I want to right now. You know what's funny? That's what you want me to do. You screwed your life up so bad, you'll take any punishment I dish out ‘cause you know you deserve it.”

“Don't touch me again.”

“I'm not finished.”

“You asshole. You have sat there and watched me do everything that I've done and you think that you can hurt me?!” You slap yourself.

“Oh, that's cute.”

You slap yourself again.

“Stop it.”

You slap yourself again and again and again and again and again. “You fucker. You wouldn't have the guts to do what I've done.”

Angry, he slams the camera face down on the table so the people watching can’t see as he grabs the gun off the table and wraps his arm around your neck, holding you in place and cutting off your oxygen. “You think you're some kind of hard bitch now?! Is this what you want, hard bitch?! You want to play?! Let's play.” He presses the gun to your head and pulls the trigger three times, all blanks as the gun clicks.

“What? What?!”

“You…don't…scare me.” You choke out.

He lets you go, slams the gun back on the table, and puts the camera back up. “That round’s a freebie.” He sits back down and combs his hands through his hair. “If you're gonna stay... It's time.”

You pull the chair back up off the floor and sit back down. “Just out of curiosity, later, if I decide to quit, what's gonna stop me?”

“You take that chair. If you try to leave the game, either me or my compatriots will shoot you dead.”

You sit down and scoot your chair up towards the table, getting ready.

~

Final Round

“There are five players in the final round. This will consist of as many turns as necessary to eliminate four players. All players will pull the trigger simultaneously.” He puts the bullet into the chamber and spins it, then places the revolver back on the table. “Wait for my signal. Take the position, please.”

You put the gun to your head.

“We're ready.”

He nods at you.

You pull the trigger. Blank.

“Thought you'd be disappointed.”

He laughs. “No. I'm glad you make it through the first round. I hope you last a long time. I want to see you break. That'll be fun, to watch you break down completely before you die.” He removes the bullet from the chamber and sets the gun aside. “Just waiting on the report. And one player has been eliminated. Down to you and three others. Relax. We'll give them a minute to place their bets. Is it everything you hoped for?”

“This is the easiest thing I've done all day.”

“Maybe so, but there's another asshole out there somewhere who went through everything you went through and now he's just a pile of meat, brain splattered everywhere. See, you think your pain buys you something, that you earn some kinda big cosmic karma where now you’ll get what you deserve. I got news for you, pain is just pain. It doesn't get you anything.”

“You're wrong.”

“We'll see, when it's your brains that are on the floor. Oh. Time for turn two. You know, if you die here...” he puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “…nobody will know. We'll just scoop up your body, throw it to an incinerator. It'll be like you never existed. Nobody will know you were ever here.”

“But I'll be dead, so I won't care.” You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“Bang!” He yells, making you jump and drop the gun on the table as he laughs. “Oh. Oh, another one down. They're dropping like flies. The odds are catching up with you.”

“Yeah?”

“How many times you think you can beat this?”

“29.”

“That's a very specific number.”

“Well, it's as far as I ever got.”

“When?”

“When I practiced.”

“You practiced?”

“Oh, yeah. Bought a real gun, put an empty shell in the chamber, spun it around. It almost never came up, and I did it a lot.”

“What's the lowest number of times you went before it did come up?”

“3.”

“Hm. Well, just so happens we're coming up on turn number three.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it.

“What part do you enjoy the most, watching all the pain, or this?”

“Darling, I like it all. Take your position, please.”

You take the gun from his hand and put it to your head. You pull the trigger. Blank. You slide the gun across the table at him so fast it nearly falls into his lap as he gasps.

“Why don't you take a turn?”

“Because I don't have to play.”

“That's a shame. I bet if you had to play, you'd see things a little differently.”

“Lucky for me, then, that I don't.”

“Lucky for you. So?”

“So, what?”

“What was the outcome of that round?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“What?”

“No players were eliminated.” He tells you slowly, like you’re an idiot. “It happens, more often than you might think. Something wrong?”

“No.”

“Really? Because you look like every other dumb prick I've seen blow their brains out.”

“You ever see anybody win?”

“Not a one.”

“Then I'm due. See, it's kinda like the lottery, somebody's got to win.”

“Except when they don’t.”

“Every time you spin that cylinder, there are five chances out of six that that bullet won't come up.”

“That's true. Let's see if now is one of those times.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “I think I got you on this one. No, seriously, I feel good about this. Go on. Do you feel it? This is it. Am I right? I think I have you. Come on, take the position. Yeah. This is the one. You ready to say goodbye? Say it. Say goodbye. Say it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Pull the fucking trigger.”

You pull the trigger. Blank.

“No players eliminated.”

“You think they're enjoying this as much as you are?”

“Maybe, probably more. You know, you last as long as you say you will, you're gonna make someone a lot of money.”

“And that's why they're doing this?”

“Sure, I told you, gamblers will bet on anything. This is the best game in town.”

“So they're putting money down on me right now?”

“Even as we speak, they're betting against you. Some are betting for you. They're betting to see how many rounds this will go on, whether we'll have a winner or not.”

“Whether what?”

“Sure, maybe one of these times, all the players are eliminated. It's possible.”

“But the odds of that happening...”

“Are 50/50, either it happens or it doesn't.”

“But that's not how odds work.”

“It's time.” He spins the chamber and sets the gun back on the table. “Pick it up.”

You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank. You do it again. And again. And again. And again. You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger 12 times. All blanks. You set the gun down again. The Recruiter takes the bullet out of the chamber and sets the gun off to the side.

“No players were eliminated. You know what I think? I think your child would be better off with no money and you dead than rich with a crazy bitch like you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“They need me. They need to know what love really is. They need to know what it looks like. They need someone to help them understand that they deserves it.”

“And that someone is you? You just figured this out?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Well, then this wasn't a total waste.”

“Guess not.”

“You know what I'm gonna do after this?”

“Drown a puppy?”

“I think I'll go find your child. That one got you, didn't it?”

“Tell me, how have you made it this far without someone killing you?”

“Just my luck, I guess. Oh. There's been a change of plans. Seems the longevity of the current players has made the people upstairs change the rules around.” He adds a second bullet. “Now what do your odds look like?”

“It's not fair.”

“All the other players have the exact same challenge.”

“No one said...”

“Said what? You didn't practice for this? I'll be sure to tell your kid you said hi.” He puts the two bullets in the chamber and spins it. “Pick it up. Come on. You know the drill.”

You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“How many are left?”

“How many what?”

“Players. Someone has to have been eliminated.”

“Oh, yeah, that. One player was eliminated...as far as you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, as far as you know, it's just you and one other player.”

“I don't understand.”

“Then let me explain it to you. All that you know about this game is what I've been telling you, right? So, what if I told you I've been making up these last couple of rounds? What if I told you you've already won? Kinda funny if you think about it. What if you're the only one playing the game?”

“That wouldn't work. How would you bet on that?”

“Maybe the bet's not about who wins the game. Maybe you're the bet and it's simply how many times you'll keep pulling that trigger until you lose. Think about it. How would you know?” He suddenly laughs. “I'm kidding, yeah, of course. One of the other players really was eliminated. That leaves you and one more. And it's that time again.”

“So there really is another player?”

“I was just joking. Jeez, you got to learn how to lighten up. If the player could take their position please?”

“There really is another player?”

“Yes,” he says, highly annoyed.

“Prove it.”

“Hold on a sec. Assume the position!” He orders you.

“Prove that there's another player.”

“That's not how this game works. You got to trust me.”

You put the gun to your head.

“Ready.”

After staring at The Recruiter for a long moment, you remove the gun from your head, an idea coming to you.

“Pull. The. Trigger.”

You stare at him.

“Do it!”

You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.

“I've been instructed that if you fail to comply again, you forfeit the game.”

You laugh. “Forfeit?”

He pulls up his shirt, showing the other gun tucked in his pants. “Then I'm instructed to shoot you.”

“Your bosses, money is just their excuse for playing. They don't really care about winning. They just want to see blood.”

“Now you're catching on. And they don't care whose it is. Oh. And we're upping the ante again.”

He adds a bullet.

“You forgot to say whether a player was eliminated.”

“Did I? What if I told you there wasn't really a game? What if I told you this whole thing was just made up? What if I told you it's been you and me this whole time?” He asks as he loads the bullets into the chamber.

“You're a liar.”

“Well, I guess we'll find out.” He spins the chamber. “It's time. Position. Please. Mm-hm. You got it.”

You grab the gun but don’t put it to your head. “Let me ask you this. What if there is just one bet? What if it's a 50/50 one?”

“That wouldn't make any sense.” He taps his temple to signal you to sssume the position.

You put the gun to your head. You don’t pull the trigger. “You know what? I think I have already won.” You point the gun at him. “I think the bet now is simply who walks out of this room.”

“That's not how this game is played.”

“You said it yourself, real gamblers will make odds on anything.”

“What if I told you that gun doesn't have any bullets?”

“I watched you.”

“Dummies, blanks. The real bet was to see how long you'd play before you quit.”

“Liar.”

“Okay. Okay, you're right. It wasn't fair, so just put the gun down, and we'll talk about changing the rules.”

“You're gonna change the rules?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Guys like you don't get to make the rules.” You pull back the hammer and stand up. “Do you know what your mistake was? You thought that the show was all about me, but you forgot that there are two animals in this cage.” You notice him sliding his hand back towards his gun. “You won't get it out before I pull the trigger.”

“If that chamber's empty, I got you.”

“I thought they were blanks.”

“You don't have the guts.”

You shoot. Blank. He flips the table up and makes a run for the door, failing to notice his gun has fallen out of his pocket as you keep shooting at him, firing off three live shots and then nothing but gun clicks. The door slides open to reveal a guard. You grab The Recruiter’s discarded gun off the ground and shoot at the the guards, killing some of them. You then play dead behind the upturned table. They let their guard down and when they get close, you shoot them dead too. The Recruiter comes from behind and tackles you to the ground and tries to strangle you to death. But you manage to get the upper hand.

Even though he could, he’s too proud to beg for your help as he lays on the ground, convulsing, dying. He just stares at you as he chokes on his own blood until he dies with his eyes wide open. A smile still on his face.

You pull his earpiece out of his ear and put it in your own, listening for the person on the other end to say something. And then you hear those two words:

“You win.”

5. What if The Recruiter faked his death like how Oh Il-nam did in season 1? He died with his eyes wide open and none of the other characters checked his pulse. This man is so unhinged and was always five steps ahead of the other characters, always knowing they were watching him and looking for him. He eluded them for two years. He got the jump on them and subdued two men with just his briefcase. So what if he had planned for every possible outcome during the Russian Roulette game too and had piping lined underneath his suit to spurt out fake blood at the right time and the bullet was a dummy or a blank? Squid game men love to fake their deaths. Gi-hun winning the Russian Roulette game and not giving into his mind games throws him into abject shock. That's the second time he loses his smug smile. Gi-hun throwing his words back in his face only makes it worse, to the point he's driven to suicide rather than admit Gi-hun is right. But what if his “suicide” was just a part of a contingency plan so he could lie low for a while and then eventually go back to recruiting players once Gi-hun wasn’t a problem anymore and it was deemed by the people he worked for that it was safe to do so?

After his fake death, he’s left alone in the room when the main characters leave. He gets up from the chair he was playing dead in, cleans himself up by changing his clothes and washing away the blood on his skin, and goes home to you, his wife, as if nothing happened. You’re kept in the dark about what he really does. (Or you’re in on it and help him get the bloodstains out of his clothes, though you work behind the scenes and use your computer and hacking skills to find potential players and learn everything about them. He has to get his information from somewhere, after all. But you don’t go “out into the field” so to speak like he does.) If you don’t know the truth, he explains that he’s been granted extended vacation time from his work and suggests a holiday outside of South Korea. What about Thailand? Or Italy might be nice. Anywhere you want to go, just say the word. He has plenty of money to sustain the both of you during said vacation so don’t worry if you can’t get the time off. You didn’t really like your job anyway, right? Or maybe you’re pregnant so you take advantage of maternity and paternity leave early. Either way, a months or years long holiday would sound heavenly, wouldn’t it? If you do know the truth, you’re prepared the second he gives you a call on your restricted phone and says just a few words. You’ve been prepared for this day for years.

6. A scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of The Recruiter’s brother (Of course you know The Recruiter’s actual name but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll just call him The Recruiter so authors can choose whatever name they want to give him.) and get married. While he and his brother are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is the parents they share, they are very close despite having very different interests and personalities. You wonder if the only reason they get along so well is because of you since you’re the common link between them. The Recruiter decides to take part in a car race for money even though his brother, who is concerned for his safety, asks him not to do that particular race. With a heavy heart, your husband plans on attending the car race to support his brother. Running late, he has to hail a taxi. The speeding taxi crashes into a lorry, and your husband is seriously injured. At the same time as the taxi crashes, The Recruiter’s car overturns in the middle of the race and he is also badly injured. Both The Recruiter and your husband fall into comas.

A year later, The Recruiter wakes up but is unable to walk properly, due in part to his physical injuries. He is brought home by you, where you attempt to take care of him while he recovers. Over time, you realize that The Recruiter is behaving identically to your husband. He tries to convince you that he feels like he is actually his brother, your husband, unable to explain why. He agrees to go for a hypnosis test and his answers so reflect his brother's character, that the doctor concludes your husband’s spirit has entered his brother (The Recruiter’s) body. You’re devastated by this revelation. You, unable to accept The Recruiter as your husband, tell his girlfriend that you are unable to live with him. She offers to take The Recruiter away and he agrees to go with her for your sake. One rainy day, he appears to you just as your husband had before. You discuss memories together and you finally accept The Recruiter as the "possessed" spirit of your husband. The Recruiter and you then share a slow, emotional night together where you have sex after the tearful revelation. You start to live life together as a happy and loving couple. In time, you become pregnant with The Recruiter’s child. Meanwhile, your real husband is still on life support. The doctor suggests to you that there is no chance of your husband waking up and it may be best if he were allowed to die in peace. You agree, and watch with The Recruiter as your husband is taken off life support.

The Recruiter’s girlfriend returns and tells you that she has accepted the fact that her now ex-boyfriend is no longer himself, and that she can no longer love him. She decides to go abroad to study (she may or may not have been blackmailed or bribed by the Recruiter and the people he works for to keep quiet and get lost or else be shot dead and her body burned and never found). The Recruiter, living as your husband, continues life as normal. Recruiting players for the games and keeping you in the dark about what he does or who he really is. You’re not feeling well while you’re out and about with him, so you decide to go home to get some rest and let him stay as what he’s doing is too important for him to just leave with you. While you’re home, a weird looking package addressed to The Recruiter arrives. You open it and find a necklace which had been given to you by The Recruiter. It went missing one day. You thought you just misplaced it.

You read the accompanying note, from The Recruiter’s ex-girlfriend, saying that she cannot understand his crazy love for you and could never ever hope to be you, no matter how hard he tried to mold her into you. Frantic, you dig through The Recruiter’s workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by The Recruiter. You realize that he had loved you before you married his brother. You also find a notebook that The Recruiter wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother. You cry sorrowfully. You drive back to The Recruiter. You take him aside and ask him various questions about something innocuous like works of art and comment that some pieces may look good in your home and he should consider bidding on them or buying them outright. You continue to pretend that your husband’s spirit is in The Recruiter’s body despite knowing the truth. The Recruiter scatters his brother’s ashes across the sea. He loved you even before his brother, and had for the entire time you were with him. He faked his leg injury so you’d take care of him for a few weeks before he could pretend it was all healed thanks to you. The Recruiter also confesses that he made use of all of his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into him, to the extent of sacrificing his own identity and behavior. He claims that it was he who died after the accident. He tells his brother that you will forever love him under the identity of your dead husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.

7. Hear me out: A consensual non-consent/CNC roleplay fic with The Recruiter. While you’re not a loan shark yourself, you’re part of the team Gi-hun hires to help track down The Recruiter due to being an associate of sorts of theirs and being personally recommended to Gi-hun by them. You’re the only woman and the youngest amongst the many men you’ve worked with the past two or three years. Despite your gender and age, you’ve proven to them and to Gi-hun that you’re experienced and have had great success in finding people that don’t want to be found. You’re highly capable and confident that you can do this and you’re not just in it for the one billion won he promised to whoever finds The Recruiter. You’re with Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok when they spot The Recruiter at Jonggak Station. The three of you are told to follow him carefully but avoid making contact and do not approach him. You watch him in Tapgol Park when he gives bread and lottery tickets to homeless people, but he doesn’t approach you, Choi, or Kim. Secretly, while Kim and Choi are shocked at The Recruiter’s behavior and think he’s a total nutcase when he stomps on all the bread after making a short speech to everyone, you think he’s so hot when he’s a little disheveled after all his stomping and combs his fingers through his hair, slicking it back and tucking his tie back into his suit blazer.

Despite Gi-hun’s order to not engage, you get the idea to follow The Recruiter down the alleyway and tell Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that you might lose him if you wait and should just get him by yourselves. Before they can protest or tell you to wait, you’re running ahead, yelling for The Recruiter to stop. They don’t have time to argue and run after you to help you. When they get close, they witness The Recruiter hit you a couple times, so hard that the force of his hits causes you to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. You’re seemingly knocked out cold when your head makes impact with the hard cement. Despite Mr. Choi having a knife, The Recruiter easily subdues the two men with just his briefcase, knocking them unconscious for real. Once he tells you it’s okay to do so, you open your eyes. He grabs your hand and helps you up. You dust yourself off then help The Recruiter drag and carry Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok’s bodies inside to finish setting up the room for Russian Roulette. Together, you stand on the roof of a building and watch Gi-hun from above. When he tells you, you take your place in a chair that’s in the middle so you’ll be in perfect view of both men when they wake up and you’ll have The Recruiter standing directly behind you the entire time, his body pressed against the back of your chair and hovering over you. You nearly moan and rub your thighs together while he fastens your wrists to the armchair and pulls the ropes extra tight. As he ties the gag around your mouth, he gives you a warning to behave or else he’ll make use of your mouth later. But all you can think is, “Mmm. Don’t threaten me with a good time, daddy.” You see the lust swimming in his deep brown irises underneath his faux irritation with you. You know that if he could, he’d fuck you right now. But like you, he’s sticking to the plan and is going to wait to start the game until the real players wake up. On command, you let out a few tears to make your acting all the more believable.

Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok wake up and The Recruiter puts on opera music and explains the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One, and Russian Roulette, dramatically illustrating the penalty for the loser when he points the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. But there’s another twist. They may have noticed you’re tied to your chair a little differently than they’re tied to theirs. That’s because, unlike them, you’re not playing. You’ll be an observer of sorts and won’t need the use of your hands. To their horror, The Recruiter then takes a knife or pair of scissors out of his pocket and violently cuts your clothes off your body. When you try to thrash and pull away from him, he slaps you and orders you to sit still unless you want him to cut your pretty skin. He grips your hair to keep you in place as he grazes the knife or scissors against your cheek, not cutting you, but coming very close. You sob harder and squeal in fear as you comply until you’re left in just your underwear, (because he is the only man allowed to look at your cunt) your shredded clothes in pieces around you. You don’t even have your bra or socks anymore. He explains to Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that, for every time they tie and have to go again, he will touch you however he wants in front of them, seemingly without your consent. The first time they’ll tie, it’ll be for fifteen seconds. Then thirty. Then forty-five, and so on. And they’ll be forced to watch for the duration. He’ll point the gun and pull the trigger at whoever diverts their eyes before the time is up. He has so many fun toys he could use on you in his briefcase.

Your acting really sells it and adds to their fear and disgust. Whenever they tie, you pretend to cringe and sob every time The Recruiter touches you, letting out muffled screams as you beg him not to. He’d do all sorts of things to you, from fondling and squeezing your breasts, to sticking out his tongue and licking a long path on your skin from your wrist to your shoulder to your neck to your cheek before ending in biting your ear. He’d remove your gag for just a second, not giving you time to cry out before he’s tilting your head back to kiss your mouth, violating your lips with his own and the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He’d kiss you so hard that he’d bite down and your lower lip would bleed. After he’s done kissing you, he’d lick up the blood from your bleeding lip and immediately put the gag back in place. He’d drag the gun down between your breasts and to the inside of your underwear, rubbing it against your mound and teasing the possibility of inserting it inside your cunt, only to actually reach his other hand inside your underwear and finger you instead, using toys on you, etc. You’re such a pretty little actress, aren’t you? So good for him.

The exhibitionism, the humiliation, and Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi’s fear of death makes it all the more exciting for you and The Recruiter, especially when Choi and Mr. Kim beg him to stop, for you to be left alone. Though their pleas are just as muffled as yours. The shame and pity in their eyes as they’re forced to watch what they believe to be you being sexually assaulted by a sadistic stranger almost makes you want to laugh. But all games must end eventually. The time comes when The Recruiter puts five bullets into the chamber, increasing the chances of death to 5 in 6. When Mr. Kim refuses to take a hand away and sacrifices himself to spare Choi Woo-seok, The Recruiter shoots him dead. His blood splatters over the space between your breasts but only a little bit of it lands on The Recruiter’s cheek. As he passes by you, he strokes your hair with one hand, running his fingers through it and then letting it go as he bends down and congratulates a traumatized Choi on his win. He looks over his shoulder at your practically naked form, shivering and twitching with the aftershock of everything he did to you with just his tongue, hands, and toys thus far. He hasn’t even given you his cock yet and already you’re like this. He gloats that while Choi won the game, he’s the real winner who received the grand prize - you. He asks if they can have a talk. The Recruiter asks questions on Gi-hun’s location.

After the interrogation, The Recruiter knocks Choi out again and unties you so he can unbuckle his pants and manhandle you however he wants so he can have sex with you properly. Against the wall, on the table, on the floor, on the couch, it doesn’t matter. He’ll take you wherever and however he wants to take you. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One and Russian Roulette was just a warmup. But this…this is even more intense. Even more passionate, primal, painful. When he inserts his fingers and/or cock inside you, it always hurts so damn good. He’s demanding, he’s high maintenance, but you always are able to keep up and know exactly what he wants without him even having to say a word. You read his body language so well. He’s the same way with you. He can tell exactly what you want just from the noises you make. Though he loves to hear you use your words and say it. He can be such a tease sometimes. He loves driving you to the precipice but withholding your orgasm from you until he believes you’ve earned it. He planted you within the Loan Sharks’ circle and tasked you with earning their and Gi-hun’s trust by using the information he fed you so you could pretend to be good at finding people. The ploy worked. Good girls deserve rewards and bad girls earn punishments. And while you’ve been bad at times over the past three or more years you’ve known him and have been punished by him accordingly, you were such a good girl for him in the game, so he’ll reward you by fucking you however you want and then giving you amazing aftercare. He hit you rather hard to make the act believable and your skin might be bruising, but you took it so well. He’ll get out the first aid kit and make you feel better in more ways than one. This plan was as much your idea as it was his. God, you’re so fucking brilliant, a perfect match for him in mind and body. He fucking loves you, even if he’s not the kind of man to say it often.

You change into the outfit he picked out and bought for you, including new lingerie to replace the set he half-destroyed. Could be a nice women’s dress suit similar to his. Something expensive but overall inconspicuous. When he goes to confront Gi-hun and play Russian Roulette again, you’re hidden in an alley nearby, waiting behind the wheel in the getaway car for after he either wins the game or fakes his suicide/death. Whether The Recruiter wins, loses, or Gi-hun breaks the rules and tries to shoot him, it doesn’t matter. You’ve planned ahead for every possible outcome, and they all end with the both of you getting away and lying low for a while, continuing your work for the games from behind the scenes. It’s not long before he opens the passenger door and has you drive, opening his briefcase where he has guns at the ready. He gives you the directions throughout the drive and you’re off. You’re like a professional stunt driver at the wheel, having no issues going high speeds, making smooth and fast turns, and weaving in and out of traffic to evade pursuers if you have to. He needs to keep his hands free in case you’re followed and he needs to lean out the window and shoot at anyone.

8. Going off of a previous thought I had now that season 2 revealed In-ho had a wife who died young from acute cirrhosis of the liver, and that he took bribes when he was a dirty cop because of her condition: What if In-ho went so far to save you from your illness that it turned into a Nora and Mr. Freeze situation? You were just a happily married couple but then you started feeling unwell. You didn’t think much of it at first, thinking your symptoms were from something else like the flu or food poisoning. It possibly got so bad that you fainted and hit your head on the way down. When he got home from work, your place was filled with smoke but no fire as the smoke alarms went off. Covering his mouth and nose, he was quick to open windows to let the smoke out. He found you unconscious in the kitchen, your hair matted by the pool of blood forming on the floor from your head wound. He’d never been so terrified until that moment. As much as he wanted to rush to you and make sure you weren’t dead, he had to secure the house first. He had to make sure you weren’t attacked and that, if you were, the attacker wasn’t still inside, hiding somewhere. With his gun pointed, he searched every room. All clear and nothing appeared to be stolen or out of place. He didn’t care about the burned dinner you were in the middle of making as he rushed you to the hospital. He was there with you, holding your hand during every doctor appointment, every test. And that was when you got the news. When he has a heart to heart with Gi-hun while undercover as Oh Young-il/Player 001, he tells him the truth. Not the whole truth, but some of it: That you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant (or any other disease and treatment of your choosing). But when you were going through the tests, you found out you were pregnant. The doctor suggested a termination, but you wouldn’t listen. You said you’d give birth even if it killed you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. You were struggling to find a donor and your condition was getting worse.

“Breathe. I'm right here. Look at me. Where's the formoterol?” He kneeled down next to you, wrapping his arm around you as you coughed violently (possibly coughing up blood) and struggled to inhale and exhale properly. He found the bottle and gave you the pill, helping you to drink by tipping the glass of water to your lips. The attack gradually subsided.

“That was the worst one yet.”

“That was the last pill. Why didn't you tell me?”

“I'm sorry. I forgot. There's so many. There's so many,” you cried.

“If you have another attack and you don't have this medication, you could die. You can't let this happen again.”

“Why? Does it matter?”

“It matters. I'll be back. I need to get this refilled.”

He went to the pharmacy, leaving you alone in your house.

“Next.”

“I need to get this refilled.”

“Do you have the prescription?”

“I have the bottle.”

“That's not the same thing, is it?”

“Please, I just need it refilled.”

“The original prescription doesn't have a refill order. If it doesn't have a refill order, I can't refill it.”

“This medication is for my wife. She's sick. She's in pain.”

“Everyone that comes in here is sick or in pain. Have your doctor write a new prescription. Then I can refill it.”

“Just give me the medication.”

“No.”

“You son of a bitch!” In-ho lunged at the man, trying to strangle him. He was pulled off and away by two other workers.

“Get out! Get him out of here! Get out of here before I call the cops, you kook!”

Call the cops? He was a fucking cop.

“You shouldn't have done that. I'll be back,” he warned, pointing a finger as he left.

You were admitted to the hospital though you could barely afford it and your husband visited every day until his visits suddenly stopped. You were worried but he never returned your phone calls. For an entire week, you didn’t hear from him. He borrowed as much money as he could, but it still wasn’t enough. He was desperate, then one of his oldest vendors heard about the situation and offered to help. So he borrowed money from them. But people saw it as a bribe and he got fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. The games were his last hope. He really needed that money even if it was blood money. He needed that money to save you and your child. That all happened in 2015 during the 28th annual squid games.

When he came back after he won a week later, he was all in black, including gloves and a mask that covered his entire face and changed his voice (not his Front Man outfit, but something similar). He was carrying a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun and his Smith & Wesson Model 19 revolver from back when he was a cop. Though he’d gone against the protocol of leaving one chamber empty and another filled with a blank. He had five live bullets loaded in the chamber and ready to fire as he pointed it at the worker that denied him before.

“Formoterol. Now.” He demanded. Upon entering the pharmacy, he shot the only other worker and person in the building not to kill but to incapacitate him so he couldn’t call for help.

“Okay. Okay. Take it all. Please, don't kill me. Please. I’ll-I'll do anything you want.” The worker begged, holding his hands up. He wasn’t so smug now, was he?

In-ho took all of the medication you needed. “Thank you. You and your friend here...are helping to save my wife.”

He shot both men dead and left.

To make sure nobody would make a missing persons report or come looking for you when he inevitably kidnapped you from the hospital you were staying in and brought you to the island, he faked your death by doing something crazy like impersonating a doctor and drugging you with something that wouldn’t kill you, but make your heart rate so slow that it caused a Code Blue and set off the alarms, making it look like you were flatlining. He even forged legal documents making it look like you consented to a “Do Not Resuscitate” order so that medical staff wouldn’t accidentally kill you by shocking you or break your ribs from performing chest compressions. Once they disabled all the alarms and unhooked you from the IVs and monitors that were attached to your skin and moved you to the morgue, he kidnapped you and replaced your unconscious body with an unclaimed female corpse that was unrecognizable in the face and teeth but looked enough like you to pass by planting stuff on it so his family would false identify it as you after DNA tests matched with you. After whisking you away to the island to get you the treatments you needed to overcome your sickness, whenever you were awake, he smoothly lied to you to leave you oblivious and in the dark about where you really were and what was really going on, taking advantage of your confusion and disorientation and other side effects from your condition to gaslight you.

“In-ho...?”

“I'm here, darling. I brought you home,” he said, holding your hand.

The room you were in didn’t look familiar. It didn’t look like home. It looked more like a luxurious hotel room.

“I'm so tired.”

“I know. It'll all be over soon.”

“In-ho... I want you to let me go. Let me die,” you begged, cupping his face in your hands.

“Honey, you don't mean that. We can do this. A donor has been found. The surgery will work. I'll be there when you wake up. I'll be there.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head and he kissed you.

Just as you were about to be put under, you stopped him and who you assumed to be doctors standing nearby (though they were dressed rather strangely) from injecting you with the sedative or putting the mask with knockout gas over your nose and mouth by grabbing his hand. “In-ho, wait. My necklace. The one that you gave me on our first anniversary. I left it on the nightstand in my hospital room when I had to go in for scans. Did you get it for me? Please, dear, tell me you did.”

He hesitated, unsure if you were just stalling for the sake of stalling or not. He brought it with him. Of course he did. “I got it. I've got it,” he said, pulling it out of his pocket to show you.

“Can you put it on me? Please, honey. I know it’s silly, but it’d make me feel…less afraid.”

He complied with your wish, bending over you to put it around your neck, clasping it into place. You fiddled with it, the familiarity of the metal bringing you comfort under your fingers. Now that he was close enough, you put your other hand on his cheek, rubbing it as you ran your fingers through his hair. “In-ho. I love you. If I don’t make it off the table… Please don't blame yourself.”

“You’ll make it. I’ll see you soon.” He reassured you, giving you one last kiss. “I love you,” was one of the last things you heard. A few minutes later, you were unconscious.

It’d take months, possibly even years to even begin to get you back to where you were, though you’ve shown signs of improvement after undergoing treatment. You were often unconscious from the surgeries and operations during your pregnancy and he’d tell himself he wasn’t gaslighting you out of malice, but out of love. The less you knew, the safer you’d be. He’d go as far to make sure you didn’t find out that he keeps hidden cameras around his quarters and a tracker hidden in either a piece of jewelry he knows you always wear or possibly under your skin even, claiming it was part of your surgeries so you wouldn’t question the stitches or the healing scar. You don’t feel it so you don’t know it’s there. You spent most of your pregnancy on bedrest. He couldn’t drug or sedate you too much because of the risk to the baby’s health, but even when you were awake, he’d do his damnedest to keep you safe, healthy, and comfortable even while lying to you or expertly deflecting your questions. Where’s your cell phone? Deflect. Why can’t this Apple computer in his office connect to the internet? Deflect. When can you go home? Deflect. Where are you? Deflect. Even though the circumstances of your new living situation were unclear and left you unsettled, you were excited to give birth despite the somewhat shady doctors your husband brought to care for you. If he ever detected you trying to leave his quarters, an alarm beeped just loud enough for him to hear it, signaling to him to put his quarters on complete lockdown with a push of a button so you couldn’t wander off and he’d rush to check on you. He’d either sedate you again if he absolutely had to out of fear your lashing out at him would be a danger to yourself or the baby, or he’d otherwise distract or dissuade you from asking too many questions or wandering too far. If you asked questions, he’d tell you to think of it as a dream, that it isn’t a bad dream for you anyway since you’ll have your baby soon. When the time came for you to give birth, your husband was there with doctors that were hired for their discretion (or he’d just kill them afterwards) and you gave birth to a healthy baby and survived, though the birth was difficult and took a great toll on your body. That was in 2015 or 2016.

You thought you’d be able to go home eventually, but in reality, you’re still practically a prisoner on an unknown island. During the first couple years, you took care of your baby while your husband oversaw vulnerable people being driven to kill others or themselves out of desperation for blood money for the entertainment of bored rich people in sadistic death games. Whenever it was lights out for the players, he came back and gave you your much needed break, taking his turn to care for your baby while you rested. You’re not sure why you’re still here as you’re feeling much better, but your husband and doctors keep saying your condition isn’t stable yet, you’re not in the clear, a few more tests and treatments. It’s always something. He won’t let you leave. You can’t leave this place without his permission.

And even worse, when your child reached a certain age, maybe around three or four (old enough to walk and talk), he took them away from you, sent them to be raised and cared for by people he knew he could trust until the time was right for you to take them back. He couldn’t let your child grow up in this place and become old enough to have awareness of their surroundings or start asking questions. When children reach a certain age, they get curious. Too curious. He couldn’t risk that. And this is no place for a child anyway. They need proper socialization and a healthy environment to grow and learn. When you found out what he’d done, you yelled at him, screamed at him, hit him repeatedly. He took it all. Then you ignored him, gave him the silent treatment. He took that too. He’d understand if you never forgive him but he needs you to understand that he does all of this because he loves and cares about you and your child - his family - more than he does a bunch of strangers. He’ll kill however many he needs to if it means you both get to live. And that’s why when Thanos is talking shit while he’s undercover in the games, telling him to stop running his mouth and take care of his own damn kids, to save the lecture for his own children, he snaps and beats the shit out of him, nearly choking him to death in the middle of the dorms. But, unbeknownst to him, after your child was taken away from you, you became more proactive in discovering the truth and getting off this damn island. You weren’t just gonna lie down and blindly love and trust your husband anymore. You can play dual roles and keep secrets as well as he can. You know your husband would never kill you. He’s done everything to save you. And even if he does kill you for going behind his back, you’re not afraid of dying. Your resolve is strong, unwavering. You’ll either get off this damn island and get your child back or die trying, with or without your husband. It’ll be up to him what he wants to do, if he comes with you or not. You just have to bide your time and play your cards right.

9. You’re a player and while In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, you and he form some kind of connection and stick together during the games. You likely have a considerate age gap between you. He’s probably at least fifteen years older than you but despite that, you’re hot for each other. You have been ever since surviving the six legged relay race. You’re so thankful he and his team took pity on you and let you join and bonded with him in the dorms afterwards. He sticks by you during the Mingle game and saves your life by grabbing your wrist and running with you, keeping you close for every round so you’re always in a room with him, no matter how many people are needed. On the last round, he kills a man in ten seconds before your very eyes after he refuses to leave. After the game, he comes to you during lights out and asks if you want to go with him somewhere away from everybody else to have some “much needed alone time together”. You know, despite his use of euphemism or polite language, that he’s inviting you to have sex to blow off some steam and come down from the high that the combined stress of playing the latest game and left over adrenaline gave you.

You follow his lead when he knocks on the door and asks a guard to use the bathroom. Together you ditch the guard (unbeknownst to you, he used his authority as the Front Man and subtly signaled the guard to go away.) and he takes you back to the room where the Mingle game was played, now spotless from clean up. No blood or bodies anywhere. The lights are mostly off and the few that are on are low, making the lighting in the room look dark purple, almost black, with hints of red. He tells you to pick any door of your choosing. You pick a door that’s your favorite color and he grabs you by the hand or lifts you up to carry you bridal style or over his shoulder into the room, closing the door behind you. You barely pay attention to the sound of the lock clicking into place as In-ho/Young-il is instantly on you, his hands and mouth all over your body, touching and feeling everywhere he can before you even begin to take your clothes off. That comes soon enough as, finally alone, you have sex on the floor in the colored room, the light above reflecting off the painted walls and creating makeshift “mood lighting” as you meet his hot kisses and touches with equal fervor. The potential danger of being caught by the pink guards only further turns you on. Unbeknownst to you, there’s no danger at all since you’re having sex with the Front Man and Host of the games. You’d hate to admit it, but you thought he was so sexy when he was strangling that man to death. It almost turned you on when he didn’t break eye contact with you and you heard the player’s neck snap. While he’s thrusting in and out of you, you beg him to choke you. He asks if you’re sure, and you confirm your consent. He tells you to tap his shoulder or scratch down his back three times if you want him to let go. While he fucks you, he chokes you so hard that your vision begins to blur and you see stars as you struggle to breathe. He doesn’t apply enough pressure to kill you or knock you out, but it’s enough to make your orgasm that much sweeter of a high.

10. While In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, he becomes obsessed with you because you’re visibly pregnant and/or have a resemblance to his deceased wife somehow. Even if it’s just one thing like your smile, eyes, or personality. After his wife got sick and both she and their unborn child died, he was devastated at the loss of his family, believing he went through the games and won, but it was all for nothing as he got out only to find his family was already dead. He felt guilty for not spending time with his wife in the hospital and being there for her before she died. (“I should go and be with my wife at the hospital,” he said to Gi-hun.) He never really forgave himself for just abandoning her without a word. And with nothing to go back to in the outside world - no wife, no child, no job - he dedicated himself to the games as the Front Man. That’s why he snapped and beat the shit out of Thanos and nearly choked him to death after his insensitive comments about “save the lecture for your own damn kids”. He thought he lost his beloved wife and his baby forever, but seeing you makes him believe he can have both a wife and a child again.

He becomes immensely protective of you, so much so that it’s unnerving to the other players at times, possibly even you, but nobody would dare to say a thing to his face. He’s one of the most formidable players in the game. He kills several players in the games personally while telling you sweet and caring things when you’re given moments of respite during the games and when you’re back in the dorms after the games are over.

“When you get out of here, go see a doctor right away. You’ve been under a lot of stress. You need to get yourself checked out.”

He gives you his milk or shares his food with you, insisting on you taking it since you’re eating for two and need it more than he does. He lets you use his pillow or blanket during lights out. He’s always asking if you’re all right and cracking jokes to keep the mood light and make you smile despite the circumstances. He keeps you stuck to him during every game like velcro. During the six-legged race? Your arm is interlocked with his. During the Mingle game? He’s holding onto your arm or wrist so tightly when you run to gather enough players and get to a colored door in time that there’s no chance of other frantic players pushing you to the ground or separating you from him. When you need to go to the bathroom outside of hours and sneak out of bed, he’s awake and asks what you’re doing. When you sheepishly admit you need the bathroom, he’s there with you at the door demanding for you to be let out if the guards tell you no at first. Despite being a man, he’s in the women’s bathroom with you. You’re the only two people awake and using the bathroom, so who cares if he’s a man in the women’s bathroom? The guards definitely don’t care. (Because he’s their boss, but you don’t know that.) He’s leaning against the stall directly across from the one you go into or the sink and keeps you company, asking if you’re sick and if you need him to hold your hair back for you if you’re feeling nauseous when he notices you’ve been in there for a long time. If he hears you crying, he’s knocking on the stall before opening it and kneeling in front of you, immediately fretting over you, asking if it’s the baby and if you’re in any pain, are you in labor, is the baby coming? Then he’s holding you and comforting you when you admit you’re afraid. Same for if you have an emotional breakdown over not being allowed to go home after the vote doesn’t go the way you want it to. He’s there to hold you, stroke your hair and stomach (with your permission of course) and tell you you’re going to make it out of this and both you and your baby will be fine. You swear sometimes you hear him say “our” baby, or that he’s calling you pet names like darling, honey, and sweetheart, but he gaslights you and tells you that you must’ve misheard him whenever you call it out and ask him about it.

When he goes with the men to find the control room, you stay behind. While you’re not sure if you love him, you have grown to care for him and see him as a dear friend at least and are worried for him. After the game is over and he goes back to being the Front Man, the pink guards storm into the dorms, firing off two warning shots and ordering everyone to get down on the floor. The sight of the pink guards rushing forwards with their guns pointed and no sign of Young-il or any of the other players makes you fear for the worst. Curled up on your side on the floor, you panic when your water breaks at the exact moment you believe Young-il is dead. Other players might think you’ve peed your pants from fear, but you can feel the contractions already starting. Unbeknownst to you, the Front Man sees your water break on the cameras from the control room, the small puddle staining your sweatpants wet and forming on the floor under you as the women nearby try to comfort you. He orders some of the guards in the control room to escort you out of the dorm room and to his private quarters while the other pink guards are busy defusing the situation. He emphasizes to them to be gentle with you, meaning don’t walk too fast, make sure you don’t fall, and keep their guns pointed away from you at all times. You’re terrified when three or four pink guards approach you and two of them slowly lift you up by your arms and force you to follow them out of the dorms the second you get back on your feet. You’re the only player singled out and escorted away from the others. Your friends are yelling your name, asking the guards where they’re taking you, but they receive no answer. Once you’re in the hallways of many colorful stairs, they blindfold you so you can’t know where you’re going, making you more scared. Your arm is held the whole way to wherever it is you’re going. They don’t tell you anything or answer your questions. They only tell you when there are steps in front of you so you don’t trip and fall on them. But you think they’re holding onto you so you can’t run. You think for sure you’re going to be killed and your baby will be cut out of your dead body and sold to a black market along with your organs or something.

But when the blindfold is removed, you find yourself lying down on a plush bed in a very nice, almost luxurious room with the Front Man and who you think is a doctor of sorts. The Front Man orders the doctor to help you by giving you everything you need for a safe and healthy delivery. But while you’re given a clean and plain men’s t-shirt so you can change out of your ruined track suit, you’re unnerved that the Front Man won’t leave. He’s considerate enough to turn his back or let you change in his bathroom and doesn’t turn back around until you’re back in his bed with your lower half covered with the blankets and the men’s shirt, which is so big and long on you it’s like a nightgown almost. He stands either on your left or right side near your head so he can’t see between your legs. While a part of you is relieved you have that semblance of privacy, he just stands there, watching over you. And you can’t read his face since it’s covered by his black mask. And you can’t tell much emotion from his voice either. It unnerves you.

But the terror becomes confusion when he eventually asks if you need to hold his hand after watching you struggle through a few contractions despite the epidural you were given. What? He repeats the question. When you shakily say yes, he removes his black leather gloves to hold your hand in both of his, letting you squeeze as tightly as you can when the contractions are at their worst. Your strength is nothing compared to his so he barely feels it. His skin is so warm. This bed is warm too. Much warmer than the cot you were sleeping in. You hate to admit that it feels nice. He puts on some jazz music to help you relax. He tells you not to think and to just focus on the music, breathe, and push whenever the doctor tells you to. After who knows how many hours, you give one last push and hear a baby crying. Your baby. After the doctor cleans them up and does what needs to be done for aftercare for you including any stitches or disposing of the placenta, etc., the Front Man orders him to leave. Your baby is wrapped in a soft towel or sheet as a makeshift blanket and resting on your chest. For a moment, you’re too in awe of them to care about the Front Man or what’s happening around you.

But then you hear a soft click as he takes his mask off and reveals himself not as player 001, Oh Young-il - but Hwang In-ho, Captain and Host of the squid games following his predecessor’s death and, even more alarming, your husband and the father of your child. You can’t believe it. He joined Gi-hun's assault on the staff, dispatching several guards personally. He killed two players to effectively fake his death to resume his place amongst the staff. When you’re horrified and exclaim that all those players who went with him are dead because of him, he is quick to correct you that no, they’re all dead because of Gi-hun. Even worse for you, if the real father of your child is still alive, whether or not you have a relationship with him, he won’t be alive for much longer. Even if he’s in the outside world and not a part of the games, In-ho will still find a way to kill him discreetly and dispose of the body so he can have you and your child for himself. He effectively kidnaps you and keeps you and your baby captive in his quarters because he’s all kinds of fucked up after his wife and unborn child’s deaths. You thought the games made him so relentless, that the games changed him. What you don’t know is that this relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.

OR

If you’re not already pregnant when he meets you, he’d be determined to impregnate you and would go out of his way to seduce you through emotional and mental manipulation or bribes during downtime between the games. Even worse for you if it works and you sleep with him in a moment of clouded judgment due to your hormones and/or fragile mental and emotional state from the high stress of your near death experiences. Either in your bunk, a bathroom stall, the stairs, or inside one of the colored doors from the Mingle game. Whether or not you’re already pregnant, once you have sex with him, your fate is pretty much sealed. He’d be even more protective and possessive of you, as your consenting to have sex with him would affirm for him the delusion that you love him back and accept him as your husband and father of your child, whether or not he actually is the child’s father biologically.

Either way, it’d be like a Basement Wife trope but he keeps going back and forth between sweet and doting and cold and ruthless personalities so it’s like you’re dealing with a Jekyll and Hyde type situation while prisoner. He’d never hurt you, especially not while you’re in such a fragile condition. He doesn’t want to chain you to the bed or sedate you as it can’t be good for you or the baby, but he will if you persist in misbehaving and lashing out. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby. He has no fear about you harming him, he can easily overpower you without hurting you, but he won’t let you harm yourself or your baby in any way. He might strap a monitor on your wrist that you can’t take off because it has a very special lock only he has the key to. Kind of like a house arrest ankle monitor. But this monitor allows him to monitor your health, whereabouts, and call you if he’s away for any reason - like an Apple Watch. Either that or he’d implant a tracking chip under your skin somewhere on your body while you’re passed out from being sedated. If you wake up, he knows. If you get out of bed to get a glass of water, use the bathroom, take a shower, or otherwise move around his quarters, he knows. If you so much as get a goddamn paper cut from reading a book, he knows. He won’t let anything happen to you or your child. You should’ve known something was wrong with him when he strangled a man to death and broke his neck in front of you during the Mingle game just so you and he could be the only two people in the room needed to pass. He looked at you and you saw no remorse or horror in his eyes. Only pride at protecting you.

11. You’re pregnant during the games and go into labor at an inopportune moment, possibly during the games or during the “special game” of the lights out free for all when everybody was murdering each other. If it’s the special game, he’d hide under the bed on the bottom level with you and his “friends”, his arms wrapped around you and his body almost on top of yours like a human shield. His hand would clamp over your mouth to keep you quiet if you cried out from seeing a player get murdered right in front of your eyes. You’d cry out again and that’s when you’d both feel wetness coming from your sweatpants and you both know it’s not pee. However it happens, In-ho/Young-il is so fiercely protective of you, having a soft spot for you ever since you revealed you were pregnant when you approached him and his team for the six-legged race and since then giving you special treatment that you thought was just him being nice, like giving you extra food and milk or letting you use his pillow and blanket so you’d be more comfortable during lights out.

When pink guards burst in and the players enact their plan to steal the guards’ guns and infiltrate the control room to capture the Front Man, In-ho makes sure you stay down and out of the rain of fire as he shoots many pink guards dead. When enough guards are dead and the others have retreated, he gets ready to head out with Gi-hun and his team. He waits until everyone else in line is ahead of him before he helps you up and takes you out of the room with him, telling you that you can’t stay in the dorms and he knows a place where you’ll be safe to deliver your baby. While the others are being led by the pink guard they took hostage and aren’t looking at him and you at the very back of the line, he takes you down a different hallway. You’re confused as it appears to be a dead end. He looks up towards a camera and nods. You don’t have time to react or understand what’s happening when the wall behind you opens up and a couple of pink guards blindfold you and grab hold of you from behind, pulling you away as you scream Young-il’s name for help. The others are too far away and can’t hear you over the sounds of their own yelling and all the gunfire. The last thing you hear is gunfire and Young-il’s voice telling you to trust him and that you’re going to be fine before the wall slides shut again, cutting you off from him and everyone else. You have no choice but to go wherever the guards are leading you and hope you and your baby will be okay along with Young-il. That’s why when after In-ho shoots players 047 and 015 in the back, he tells the control room to start wrapping things up. The sooner Gi-hun’s failed attempt at playing the hero ends, the sooner he can drop the facade of being Young-il and be at your side while you give birth in his private quarters.

OR

In-ho arranges for you to be exempt from the game so you can be taken away and brought to a medical bay or his personal quarters quietly without the other players putting up too much of a fuss since you can’t compete while in labor. It wouldn’t be fair and the games are all about fairness, or so he likes to preach. (Just like how he exempted Mi-nyeo from the marbles game when nobody wanted to pair up with her.) Could be part of my previous ideas of you being pregnant or could be its own separate thing.

12. You’re his wife and you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant. (Or any other disease and treatment of your choosing.) But when you’re going through the tests, you find out you’re pregnant.

"What-what are you saying?" In-ho gasps out as panic and wishful thinking begin to battle in his mind.

You brush your hand against his and smile with teary eyes. "The doctor is saying I'm pregnant, In-ho. We're going to have a baby."

You’re happy about this. He can’t believe it. Under different circumstances, sure. He could understand you being happy then. But now? With you so sick? Being pregnant now is far too dangerous. Even the doctor suggests a termination, but you won’t listen. You tell your husband you’ll give birth even if it kills you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. But in the following weeks, you’re struggling to find a donor and your condition is getting worse. He borrows as much money as he can, but it still isn’t enough. Then one of his oldest vendors hears about the situation and offers to help. So he borrows money from them. But people see it as a bribe and he gets fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. He’s desperate. Desperate enough to do something terrible. An irrevocable betrayal.

The first scare is...relatively simple, in retrospect. That night, In-ho comes home to you, perfect and lovely, preparing a meal meant to be shared. He doesn’t have much time to stay before he has to leave for “work” once more, but just seeing you in your shared dingy little kitchen creating something with him in mind makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. It’s a wonderfully simple moment the two of you spend together, holding hands like lovestruck teenagers across the table while you eat. As he’s preparing to depart, you sit by the window and sip at a glass of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, illuminated by the lights of the city. In-ho is certain he's never seen you more beautiful. You take another sip of your drink before a strange expression crosses your features. It’s mostly an unreadable expression, but there’s the undercurrent of something...sad. It’s something In-ho has never really seen before, and it makes the first tendrils of anxiety curl in his stomach.

"Darling? Is something wrong?" he asks, walking over to where you sit.

"No, no, not at all," you assure him. When you look up at him, the twinge of sadness is already gone. "I just had...a strange thought, that's all. I'm being silly." You reach over and place your hand on his cheek. He can’t help but nuzzle into the simple touch and press a kiss to your soft palm. "Go," you say comfortingly. "Work hard, do good."

In-ho manages a smile and places his hand over yours for a lingering moment before pulling away. "I’ll see you soon, my love."

The two of you share a smile before he turns to go. He’s halfway to the door when he hears your voice again. And what you say makes his blood run cold. To you, it’s something so innocent, so innocuous. But In-ho almost drops what he’s holding. Just from that one sentence, he can tell you’re worsening. He scrambles to remember when your last injection was, and his mind is already cataloguing the work he will need to do to prepare your next one. He curses himself internally for letting it go so long, for putting you in this position. You need your medicine and he’s going to get it for you.

In-ho almost forgets about that incident by the time something else happens.

You place his hand over your stomach, encouraging him to splay his fingers out as if you’re expecting something to happen from his touch. "Do you feel anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not at all." He tilts his head at you with confusion and a hint of worry. "Why? Are you feeling all right, is everything okay, darling?"

"No, In-ho, everything is fine!" You still hold his hand over your stomach, gently stroking over the skin on the back of it with your thumb to reassure him. "I feel great. You...didn't notice anything?"

He shakes his head, brows furrowed but relishing in the feel of your soft skin.

"Oh," you say with an edge of...disappointment? "I guess it must be too early, then. I thought I felt movement. Must’ve been phantom kicks.” The smile on your features steadily grows nevertheless.

His throat tightens and he feels the beginnings of hot tears prick behind his eyes, so he has to look away from you. All he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears, your words falling away somewhere behind him. Imagining you pregnant was one thing. It gave him a private thrill, the idea of having a family. With you. It was a beautiful fantasy he kept close to his heart, but he knows now that you’re getting further along, that you won’t survive childbirth even if you do manage to carry to term. In the forefront of his mind, he knows that his fantasies of having a child with you has to remain exactly that. Fantasies. At least until your disease is cured or, if it can’t be, then at the very least, he can get you treatment to pull you out of danger and make you healthy again. At a different time, perhaps, your pregnancy would be a joyous moment. How exuberant he would be were things different, to prepare to bring new life into the world. How beautiful you would look, growing with his child, your body undergoing glorious metamorphosis. His child.

But that is not the reality he can live in while you’re still sick. You’re in danger, a danger he helped perpetuate. The thought makes In-ho shudder almost violently. There is no way to guarantee your survival if you go through with this pregnancy, or even the child's survival if you do bring him or her into this world. The thought of you suffering hours of labor, of dying…only for your baby to die after a few feeble hours of breathing in the NICU… That shakes him down to his core, makes him sick to his stomach. It would be better, merciful even, to not introduce a child to this world at this time. It breaks In-ho’s heart to realize, but worse, he’ll have to break yours, too. He can’t just tell you why there’s so much danger in this joy. He tried that when the doctors first gave you the news and advised you to terminate. You wouldn’t listen to him then and it resulted in an argument that he worried would only add too much stress onto you. He pretended to acquiesce to you, telling you that you’re right and together you’ll find a way, you will. There's always hope. As long as you're alive, there's hope, right? And you told him yes. There's hope. And that was the end of the argument. If he brings it up again, what will you think? You definitely won’t change your mind now. Talking to you will get him nowhere. He knows that. He has to do what he has to do.

It isn’t hard to get the pill. It’s a simple thing, a beige color, unassuming overall. Yet, it seems to have the weight of a brick in In-ho’s coat pocket. Since your pregnancy reveal, you had managed to find books on prenatal care and baby names and were going through them religiously. It’s...painful for In-ho to reconcile your eagerness, your pure unadulterated excitement, with what he’s about to do. It’s necessary, he knows that, and he hopes you will understand that. Eventually. He trudges into the house and sure enough, there you are sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the pages of one of your new baby name books with a highlighter. When you hear the door close, you smile up at In-ho and go to stand to greet him.

"Stay seated, darling, it's fine," he assures you, walking over and kissing your temple.

You giggle at him. "In-ho, I'm only three months along at most, I won't overexert myself by getting up to welcome my wonderful husband home."

"I know, I know." He plants another kiss on your forehead before he walks into the kitchen. "Hungry, my love?"

"I can make dinner, you've been working so hard lately. All that overtime at the precinct."

"Just tonight, honey. Let me do this for you. For...both of you."

Maybe it’s an underhanded manipulation tactic, but it works. You smile with a dreamy look in your eyes, turning back to your book.

In-ho isn’t much of a cook, but he grabbed a few fresh fruits and vegetables the last time he went out for groceries, purposefully so. With a blender he hasn't touched in years, he’s able to whip up a basic green smoothie. He hesitates when he reaches for the pill in his pocket. In that moment, he hears something from behind him: you begin humming to yourself. When he listens closer, he realizes the song is an easily recognizable lullaby. Nausea swirls in his gut and he has to fight the urge to look back at you. If he looks, he won’t be able to go through with it. He crushes the pill into powder and sprinkles it into the mixture, stirring it with a spoon before he can think about it anymore. It’s blended so much that you won’t feel or taste it at all. You won’t notice. When it’s finished, In-ho pushes a glass towards you and is greeted with a curious smile.

"Trying to keep me strong and healthy for the baby?" you tease. You smile warmly. "Thank you, honey. It looks great." You reach out and start to drink without hesitation.

It’s over. In-ho feels like he can breathe again, at least for the moment.

It doesn’t last long.

In-ho goes away to “work”, hoping you’ll be asleep while the pill works. He’s ready to be there for you once he returns, to be with you in any grief you feel.

The house is eerily silent and dark when he returns. In-ho climbs the stairs, eager to slip into bed with you for just a few moments of fitful rest. Just some time to be with you, before he has to face your hurt. The bedroom is empty when he walks in. The bedsheets on your side are haphazardly tossed aside, and you’re nowhere to be seen. He walks over and flips on the nightstand light, and notices out of the corner of his eye a discoloration in the sheets. A large stain rests in the middle of the bed, right where you would be lying, and when In-ho touches it, the tips of his fingers come back red. That’s when he notices the door to the master bathroom is closed, and a bit of light shines from underneath. If he focuses on the silence of the room, he can hear...something, from the other side. He makes his way over, slowly, a death march to the door. He reaches up to knock, but stops when he hears the faint sound again. Tiny gasps, hiccups. Sniffling. Muffled sobs. His heart shatters all over again.

"Darling?" He eventually calls, giving the door a strong but soft knock. "Darling, I'm coming in."

"In-ho?" You gasp out, your voice heavy with tears. "In-ho, no, please, don't-" you dissolve into more pronounced sobs, and In-ho hears something clatter to the floor.

"My love, please let me-"

"I said no!"

He freezes. He has never once heard you like this, the agonized sharpness turned to venom in your words. Not even when you were arguing with him in the doctor’s office over whether to terminate your pregnancy or not. He doesn’t try to knock or speak again, but he cannot bring his feet to drag his body from the door. He ends up sitting with his back against the door, listening to you cry. Alone. He doesn’t get any rest that night. Eventually, In-ho has to regretfully rise. Shady characters are in need of him once again and, in exchange, they’ll give him money he so desperately needs. It’s through such shady characters he was able to procure the medications that you needed so far. How he was able to get the pill to terminate your pregnancy. As he gathers his coat to go, he hears the door creak open, and turns to look at you. It’s like seeing a ghost. You’re pale, eyes red and ringed with dark circles, and even the way you hold yourself is as if you’re being dragged down to the earth. There’s a moment where the two of you simply exist in the same space. In-ho watches your features for even the most minuscule change, and it feels like hours pass as he waits. Eventually, you sigh in an attempt to speak, but your voice shakes with even the simple release of breath. In-ho takes a single step forward and waits again. This time, you meet him halfway, but keep your eyes firmly down and away from his own. Is it shame that motivates you to divert your gaze? The shame that rightfully only he should be feeling? The shame that is, in fact, burning in his core as he observes how much grief is weighing you down? You make an attempt to speak again, but just shake your head. You press your eyes closed to keep from outright sobbing but still stray tears escape. In-ho reaches up and brushes them away, letting his knuckles brush against your cheeks. The contact of his skin against yours shatters the tension and you walk forward into his arms, burying your face against his chest. He holds you close, knowing he’s wholly undeserving of the beautiful creature that is his wife seeking his arms for comfort. He allows himself a single tear that falls into your hair, not any more than that. How dare he compare his grief to yours, how dare he try and appropriate your sorrow? He can almost hear your voice in his head: How dare you? How dare you? Somehow, the embrace ends and he’s helping you into bed after stripping the bloodied sheets and putting on fresh ones. He pulls the blankets around your unmoving form, tucking you in and making sure you’re warm enough.

"I have to go," he whispers regretfully, not even sure if you’ll respond.

And you don’t. You don’t even look at him but, before he leaves, he kisses your lips and your hairline then steals a glance back at you. Your eyes fall closed, and silent tears are streaming down your cheeks as you cry yourself back to sleep.

But it doesn’t end there. You’re hospitalized shortly after and he’s driven to compete in the squid games after being recruited. The games are his last hope. He really needs that money even if it’s blood money. He needs that money to save you since he couldn’t save both you and your child. He could only save one. He wants to return home to you so he can get you the operation and medication you need to ensure you could one day have a healthy and safe pregnancy. He knows you still want a child despite the traumatic loss you suffered. You’ll never know what he did. After he won, you’re still in the hospital, waiting for him. As part of his reward for winning, a donor is found for you on top of the cash prize of 45.6 billion won. But he can’t go back to his old life after all the bridges that have been burned behind him. But he wants - no, needs to keep you. If there’s anyone or anything from his old life he will never let go of, it’s you. Bound by his duties as the Front Man for the games and his marriage vows to you, he has no other choice but to go undercover as a doctor and create a diversion to kidnap you from the hospital so he can whisk you away to an unknown and private island where you can receive the best medical attention for your condition. Somehow, police have already been notified of his activity and what he plans to do.

“He’s in the building, posing as a doctor. He’s armed and has already killed five people. Evacuation is underway. We have to go,” an attending physician says.

“No. An evacuation is exactly what he wants. The staff bailed when the alarms went off. This is a deliberate diversion to get everybody out and away from her. He’s here for her. We can't leave her alone in her room. She’ll die if we leave her alone here or if he takes her,” your personal doctor insists.

“So we take her with us. Come on. Careful.”

“Thank you,” you say weakly as your doctor helps you out of bed and into a wheelchair.

You don’t get very far when you’re stopped by your husband standing in the doorway to the ward you’re kept in, dressed in black scrubs, black gloves, and a medical face mask, just like the police said he’d be. He’s holding a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun that’s strapped over his shoulder and across his body. “Ah... I'll take it from here.”

“In-ho… In-ho, listen to me. We're trying to help her.”

“You're killing her.”

“No. No, In-ho.”

“In-ho...” you rasp, your voice and body incredibly weak from your disease. Your eyes water when you look at him. Despite his black attire, you can still see the blood on him and you know it’s not his. You’re terrified.

“I understand why you're doing this,” your doctor tries to sympathize.

“I'm saving her life.”

“At the cost of how many other lives?”

“Too many to turn back now. As soon as I've done what I need to do, I'll give myself up. But now we have to leave.”

“In-ho, listen to me. I'm her doctor. I know her history. I’ve known her her entire adult life. If we move her now, she might die.”

“Her doctor. Good. You're coming with us to push the wheelchair. Let's go.”

“No. No way!” The attending physician tries to stop this from happening.

“I'm going. She's my patient,” your doctor insists.

“I can't let you do that. I'll go.”

“It's not your call. She needs me.”

“I'm not gonna hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, unless I have to.” Your husband insists.

“I'm going.”

“In-ho, please...don't do this. Please, she’s pregnant.” Pregnant just like I was, you want to say, but you don’t have the strength. Your voice shakes like a rattle as you struggle to breathe while you beg for him to not do this, to leave your doctor out of it, trying to get through to him, to get him to see reason.

“Honey, don't worry. It's all under control.”

“Help...” you beg, your body already feeling worse.

“We have to go. Now.”

You sob when you hear bullets go off, your husband having shot dead the attending physician left behind. He can’t afford to leave any extra witnesses.

“In-ho, please think about this. How will you take care of her if you're in prison?” Your doctor asks as she follows behind him and pushes your wheelchair.

“I won't. You will. The city will. It's the law. As long as she's legally alive, she's a ward of the city and the city has to keep her alive and safe.”

“So I shall undergo countless operations and spend days or weeks in medically-induced comas only to wake up one day with you in prison or dead? A life alone isn't one that I want. There must be another way. Please, In-ho,” you beg him again to reconsider, but he doesn’t listen.

Holding your doctor at gunpoint in her car, he gives her directions and orders her to drive exactly where he tells her to go. You reach docks where a speedboat is waiting for you with masked and armed guards on board. He orders your doctor out of the car and to board the boat at gunpoint, then carefully lifts you into his arms bridal style and carries you onto the boat himself. You’re unconscious for most of the voyage, unable to bear the stress of the situation anymore, though it doesn’t take too long to get to your destination. Against your will, you’re taken to the island. You’re given the surgeries you need, the treatments and medications you need, etc. but despite the success of your operations and treatments, recovery still takes months. Most of it is spent on bedrest and In-ho is still hovering over you whenever he returns to your shared personal quarters, asking both you and your doctor how you’re faring, if you’re eating well and sleeping well, etc. as he comes to your bedside and rests his hand on your head to pet your hair and rub your cheek. You feel guilty that your doctor has been held captive alongside you all these months, kept by your side to attend your every need whenever In-ho is called away and can’t do it himself. You’re terrified of what might happen to her if you were to suddenly take a turn for the worst. It’s not rational, but you have a horrible sinking feeling in your gut that if anything involving you were to go wrong, In-ho would blame her, even if it’s something out of her control. And that he’d kill her if you were to die under her watch.

One day, when you’re alone, you confess to your doctor that she may be able to escape.

“I heard In-ho talking when he thought I was asleep. There’s speedboats and oxygen tanks docked on the coast of the island not far from here. If you hurry, you can take one and make it out before he gets back,” you plead to her.

“I'm not leaving you,” she insists, holding your hand to comfort you.

“This must be very stressful for you and your baby. And you’re almost due.”

“We're fine.”

“Could I have some water?” You ask instead, and she walks away to grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink. She hands it to you. “Thank you. You’ve heard him all these months. He's not a bad man at heart. You’ll get out of here alive, I promise. I’ll talk to In-ho. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so. If I’m not standing on the shoreline and waving you off as I watch you board a boat headed for home, then I’m not breathing at all.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine. The surgeries have been successes so far and your body has accepted the new organ with minimal issues. There have been no signs of rejection.”

“When you’re sent home, you have to tell them that he’s not a bad man. That he only wanted to save me because he loves me. Please.”

“I will.”

“And please tell them that I'm very sorry for my part in this. I saw the man that he was becoming and I did nothing. Because I loved him. You know what that's like, don't you?”

“I do.”

“Thank you. You've been very kind. Can you…would you mind if I ask… Have you picked out any names for your baby?”

You’re desperate to talk about something else, to think about something else. Something happy for her even if it’s bittersweet for you. You need a distraction from your current predicament. When she tells you about the baby’s gender (if she knows it) and the names she likes and has been considering, you smile and tell her about the names you highlighted in the baby name book you had at home. You’re not sure if you would’ve wanted to know the gender or be surprised. You talk about the dreams for the future you once had, whether you wanted your first to be a boy or girl, if you had a preference or not, etc.

During your recovery, your husband still acts as the Front Man for subsequent annual games and you’re kept in the dark. He’s in deeper than he was when he won the games. He’s now taken to arranging the games and acting as the Host following the original mastermind's death. He has continuously run the games for several years. It’s now 2024. Your doctor was set free and sent back home before her due date after all the precautions were taken to ensure she couldn’t find or disclose the location of the island, including having her being closely monitored by the pink guards, ready to shoot her dead and dispose of her body if she ever spoke out. But she’s kept quiet and gone along with the story that you and In-ho are dead, because of you. Because of you, she’s still alive and got to have her baby. And you? You’re still on the island. You understand that recovery for your condition could sometimes take more than a year, but you’ve been here nearly ten years. You can’t leave without his permission. You’ve tried more than once. Rather than tell you there’s no life for you to go back to since the world thinks you’re both dead, he keeps you here for so long by lying to you over and over and over. If he told you the truth, how could he admit to any of it without losing you? It’s his duty to protect you, the love of his life. Even if it’s painful. This relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.

But disruptions to his facilitation of the 36th iteration of the games have forced his hand to resort toward more drastic measures. As retaliation for Gi-hun's continued defiance against him for three years, he repeatedly tries to break him by forcing him to participate in the game. He joins the games specifically to break Gi-hun's spirit, and intentionally works his way into his inner circle, with no indication that he truly sees him as a friend, all to successfully sabotage his efforts to bring the game down by force. When Gi-hun's rebellion is successfully suppressed, the Front Man spares his life while personally ordering the execution of Jung-bae in front of him and telling him it’s the consequence of trying to play the hero. At the same time he’s undercover as a player, he’s still fulfilling his duties as your husband through proxy, having the pink guards give you whatever you need and keeping an eye on you so you don’t learn too much. He’s hidden the remote control he uses to watch the games on the big screen so you won’t know. But what if you’re stronger, smarter, and more resilient than you let on and manage to gather very valuable information by eavesdropping on In-ho’s conversations by feigning being asleep whenever he checks on you, sneaking away and stealthing around the building, etc., all to slowly discover the horrific truth your husband so desperately has kept hidden from you for the last ten years?

13. Like above with The Recruiter, a scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of Jun-ho and get married. While he and In-ho are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is that they’re both cops, they are very close despite only being stepbrothers. You’ve also been very close to In-ho, though you always thought of your relationship as strictly friendly due to him being your brother-in-law and himself having a wife that you believe he loves. You’re there for In-ho and his wife when she gets sick and she views you as a sister not just because of your relation as sister-in-laws but because you’re always there to support her and do what you can to care for her and comfort her, from little things to big things, especially whenever In-ho is away due to his job. He and his wife can always count on you. You visit her more in the hospital than her own husband does. You’re the only other person besides In-ho to learn of her pregnancy and when she confides in you about it, she swears you to secrecy in case the worst happens. She tells you that in case she dies, she doesn’t want Jun-ho or his parents to know and feel even worse. In-ho tries to get you to talk to his wife, to try to convince her to change her mind and terminate the pregnancy, but she’s stubborn and won’t listen to anyone, not even you, despite your pleads that In-ho is only worried for her health and she can always try again after she’s better. Sometime in 2015, In-ho goes missing for a week. Neither you, Jun-ho, or his wife can get a hold of him. You’re all worried. You were always concerned for his safety while on the job and even his wife asked him not to be away from home so much anymore, but he’s just as stubborn as she was. You can understand that he needed more money to help her, but you grew concerned that he was putting himself at risk. And when she worsens and later succumbs to her acute cirrhosis, you’re devastated. Even more so when In-ho returns home and you have to break the news to him. You’re there for In-ho, taking him through the worst of his grief. In subsequent years, he asks you to go with him when he visits his wife’s grave on her death day to bring her fresh flowers, etc.

But then he goes missing again. For real this time.

Your husband becomes so obsessed with finding In-ho that he neglects you. You don’t divorce, but your marriage is deteriorating and while a part of you still loves him, the spark is slowly flickering out. You feel less like a wife and more like a single woman as time goes on. With a heavy heart, you carry on with your life and try to move on and find ways to be happy despite all the loss you’ve suffered. But your depression worsens when your husband stops coming home and stops answering your calls. It’s like he’s also vanished into thin air, exactly like In-ho. You can barely stand to be in your house anymore and often spend time outside or in hotels. One night, you have to hail a taxi when your car breaks down. The speeding taxi crashes into a black van, and while the driver is seriously injured, possibly even killed on impact, you’re only knocked unconscious with minor injuries.

Unbeknownst to you, this is a deliberate and orchestrated car crash, part of a plan to kidnap you and bring you to an unknown island. Under the Front Man’s orders, you’re sedated during the whole transportation process. You later wake up in an unfamiliar room, strapped down to a bed. You freak out, but freeze in shock when In-ho enters the room and comes to your bedside. He looks older, which is to be expected since you haven’t seen him in over five years, but it’s definitely him. He calms you down from your lashing out and panic attack, explaining the situation in a way that’ll keep you in the dark about what’s really going on but also serve his ulterior motives for why he brought you here. He takes care of you while you recover from the minor injuries you suffered in the collision, nothing major besides a concussion and a minor head wound and other scrapes and bruises. He tells you a fabricated but believable story about why he went missing, which includes that Jun-ho is dead, that he was shot and fell into the sea while on a job. To “prove it” he shows you doctored but eerily convincing confidential police files and death records from when that random body was found with Jun-ho’s ID on him. It was so damaged it was unrecognizable in pictures. With evidence in front of you, you have no choice but to believe In-ho and everything he tells you. Still, you’re devastated by this revelation. But he swears to take you through the worst of your grief, just like you did for him when his wife was sick and died.

Years go by of you living on the island, still kept in the dark. Could be through the use of drugs to make you disoriented and confused and blurring that edge of reality, gaslighting, and other manipulation tactics. When he does take you outside his private quarters to get some fresh air, it’s always brief and he stealthily knocks you out so you don’t get a full grasp of where you really are. You never know how you got there or how you got back. It’s so subtle you hardly notice and think you just fell asleep. You and In-ho eventually share a slow, emotional night together and have sex after the tearful revelation that you’ve fallen in love. You didn’t confess to him your feelings sooner because you felt so guilty due to being married to his brother even if he’s dead and you’re a widow now, and because In-ho’s wife was like your best friend. You felt awful for “stealing” her husband even though she died and he’s a widower who suffered the same loss you did. He helps you to overcome that guilt and you start to live life together as a happy and loving couple, despite the strange and unusual circumstances. In time, you become pregnant with In-ho’s child. One day you’re not feeling well, so you decide to go back to your private quarters to get some rest after he takes you outside for fresh air. While you’re there, a package addressed to In-ho arrives. You open it and find a necklace which you remember In-ho had given to his wife. You read the accompanying note from her, saying that she cannot wear this necklace anymore as it wasn’t meant for her and she cannot understand In-ho’s crazy love for you.

Frantic, you snoop around the other doors and find an underground chamber. You dig through In-ho’s secret workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by him. You realize that In-ho had loved you before you married his brother and before he married his wife. You also find a notebook that In-ho wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother, Jun-ho. Through these secret documents, you discover your husband is possibly alive, having only been shot in the shoulder by In-ho himself and fallen into the sea. He lied to you just so that he could have you to himself. You were talking about getting married because you’re so in love and you thought it’s what Jun-ho and In-ho’s wife would want, at least for the sake of your unborn child. You were so happy mere hours ago and now, you’re crying sorrowfully. You don’t know what to do with the new information you’ve uncovered. Luckily, through some miracle, you’re not caught by In-ho. You put back everything exactly the way you found it as you’ve spent enough time in his personal office at home and remembered how he organizes his things, even down to which direction he sets down the phone receiver.

Do you take him aside and ask him various questions about his wife and where you are and when you can go home? Every time you tried in the past, he’d change the subject after giving you non-definite answers. Do you continue to pretend that Jun-ho is dead and you’ve moved on despite knowing the truth? You love In-ho and you know he loves you but this…this is much more than you could’ve ever imagined. You couldn’t have ever expected this. It’s been revealed that In-ho loved you even before Jun-ho, and had for the entire time you were with his brother. In-ho also confessed in a secret letter to Jun-ho that he’d never send that he made use of all of yours and his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into the perfect man for you. He tells his brother that you will forever love him as your husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.

14. In-ho’s wife managed to successfully give birth to a healthy baby girl despite dying in the process. That baby girl is you, born sometime in 2015. When In-ho returned home and went to the hospital his wife was staying in after winning the 28th annual squid games, he received the bittersweet news that his wife was dead, having died in childbirth, but that you, his baby daughter, was alive and would be fine. You were either being kept in the hospital still or staying with Jun-ho and his parents. When he saw you and held you for the first time, he almost didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to set you down or let you out of his sight. He gave you the name his wife picked. It’s now 2024 and you’re eight or nine years old. What would your life be like? Would In-ho take you with him to the island from infancy to keep you safe and under his watchful eye while he acts as Front Man/Host for the squid games because you’re the last living piece of his wife that he has and he doesn’t want to ever lose you or miss out on any milestone in your life? What would it be like, effectively being kept prisoner on the island but kept in the dark and oblivious about what he does? Having no real friends to play with except maybe the Pink Guards who are under strict orders to play with you or keep an eye on you? Or would he leave you to be raised by his parents and Jun-ho? Or would he keep your existence secret from Jun-ho and his parents and come up with a secret third option that entails you having a normal-ish life with other “family” of his that he personally arranged, but he visits you or sends you messages on a very special encrypted phone or through the mail through mysterious envelopes without return addresses on them whenever he can, even if it’s at the most random of times? Would you know he’s your father from the beginning or would you learn this fact later in life?

OR

For a darker and more fucked up version: What if Jun-hee isn’t the first heavily pregnant player to compete in the games? Sometime during his years working as the Front Man and overseeing the games, he kept a close eye on a heavily pregnant contestant. After she was shot and killed for failing a game (the guard responsible making sure to avoid her stomach and shoot her in the head), her body was quickly loaded up into a box and taken away. The guards working in the morgue only had about ten minutes if they wanted to save the baby growing inside her. And they were under clear and strict orders by The Front Man to do so. A post-mortem c-section was performed and, when they cut her open, they pulled out a crying and screaming baby girl. The baby was cleaned up and checked by the doctor stationed on the island, then wrapped in a blanket and handed over to the Front Man per his orders/request. And that’s how you came to be his daughter. He’s your father now. And as far as you’ll ever know, he’s your biological father who solely raised you after your mother, his wife, died in childbirth from complications of acute cirrhosis of the liver.

15. Being in a poly relationship with the Front Man and The Recruiter would include? I don’t know any specific plot ideas exactly or how you got to be their personal whore/toy, but just imagine being a sugar baby or lover to both of these men that are two different flavors of DILF. You’re given everything from clothes, lingerie, and jewelry to a car and a house, as well as all the money you could ever need to pay for whatever it is you need - college tuition, medical bills, etc., even if it’s not for you but for one of your loved ones. In exchange, you’re on call for whenever either or both of them are in need of you and your services. You do whatever they ask of you, no matter what it is. Doesn’t matter what time it is, you go to them whenever they call. (Or maybe The Recruiter would go so far as to having a key to your house and letting himself in through the door or through a window, without giving you prior warning he’s coming. He comes whenever he feels like it. Could be any time of the day. And if you’re not home when he gets there, he’ll call you and tell you to get your cute ass home. Now. Then he’ll make himself comfortable in your house while he’s waiting for you. But you know that the longer you make him wait, the worse your punishment will be. Maybe a stipulation to having the house is leaving the doors and windows unlocked. If it’s late at night, he’d just sneak into your bedroom while you’re asleep and rouse you awake by going down on you or something. Classic Somnophilia.)

You either drive to them yourself or a car and/or a boat is waiting for you to be picked up. Imagine being squeezed in between these men like a sandwich or being in an Eiffel Tower with them, whether or not either or both of them are covered in blood from shooting players. (They wouldn’t care if you were on your monthly cycle. If anything, your blood would turn them on even more.) Imagine getting fucked on the hood of or inside the white limousine. Imagine them taking turns to watch while the other one fucks you. Imagine them turning fucking you into all kinds of thrilling and borderline dangerous sex games along the same vein of the actual squid games. Like they tell you do something under a time limit and if you fail and the timer runs out, they won’t kill you, but they’ll punish you sexually. And sometimes their punishments are so intense they make you wish you were dead because being denied your orgasms over and over and over is a special kind of torture and the coiling in your gut from your building orgasm that’s unable to be released is almost unbearable. What if you’ve been at this “job” so long that it gets to a point where In-ho wants to give you a “raise” and get you pregnant because he wants a child after the death of his wife and their unborn child and he may or may not have a pregnancy kink?

That is all for now. Thank you for listening to my brainrot.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

A Misdemeanor Of The Heart: Chapter 30 (Human Alastor x Married Reader)

CW: It's disgustingly fluffy. Brush your teeth after. Oh, and anxiety.

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Alastor returned with a glass of water to find you dressed, sitting on the bed, bathed in the warm light of the setting sun that was quickly dying. He wondered passively if you had replaced the panties. He hadn’t given you a pair to do so with. Not that he had any intention of finding out tonight.

You were clearly overwhelmed again, and he didn’t want to push you. Even if you didn’t realize it, you could easily tip over. He wanted learning about what pleasure you were missing out on to be a pleasant experience, one where he left you wanting more of what only he could give you. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, handing you the glass of water. For a few short moments, you sat on the bed, sipping at the water. 

“I am,” you said after thinking, “tired, I think.” 

“You look like you want to cry?” Alastor whispered, kneeling in front of you and cupping your cheek with his hand. 

“It’s just a lot, I think.” You whispered, leaning into his touch. “Being here, sneaking away, and then… I’m scared I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone, that you’ll have decided someone you can have is better. Or that it was all a dream.” He kissed your lips softly, pulling back to let you continue. “I don’t want you to go.” 

“I’ll stay right here with you, alright?” Alastor said, running his hand down the back of your head as you leaned into him. 

“Okay,” you sniffled, not wanting to let the tears come. 

“I’ll stay here while I change even.” Alastor cocked an eyebrow at you as you blushed, “You don’t even have to look in the mirror to watch this time.” 

You choked on the sip of water you had been trying to take to calm the blazing fire in your face. “You knew?” 

Alastor kissed your wet lips one last time before standing, laugh filling the space. The sound of his laugh seemed to wrap you in a hug even as he walked to his bag, pulling his shirt from where it was still tucked into his pants. He looked over at you and winked as you tried to avoid shamelessly watching and failed. 

He worked the button on his pants free and sent them to the ground with no shame at all. You tried to keep your eyes on his torso but failed. When he had returned with the water, he turned on the lamp at the side of the bed and now that light was preventing him from having the cover of darkness to protect any bit of modesty. 

The dips of his muscles were cast in shadows, contrasting with the light shining over his skin to highlight every flex and jump of muscle. Your eyes darted around, bravely taking in his strong thighs and the curve of his ass, and then he turned. Your eyes traveled down lean abdominal muscles, following the line of his hips to…

Oh my, you darted your eyes up. It wasn’t like you’d never seen a man’s manhood before, but you avoided looking at Laurence’s. Alastor’s was larger, though he was far from ready to perform. 

Thinking back to the first time she had lain against Alastor’s chest, nestled between his legs and with his hand between your legs, giving you pleasure. You hadn’t felt him. His size was considerable. Surely, even if he wasn’t one that expanded much, you would have felt him. 

Again, you had been nestled against him as he and you shared cookies. You had kissed and indulged in the pleasures of romance, but thinking back, there wasn’t even a stirring. The same could be said about when you and he laid together on the beach. 

Was there something wrong with him? Surely not, Alastor had mentioned having experience with the bodies of women. Was it something about you? Did he not find you desirable? Was there something about you? 

Alastor returned to your side, loose pants tied low on his hips and lacking a shirt still. He took the glass from your hands and took a long, deep gulp. The act of sharing a glass felt… right, even as doubt ran through your head. 

“Are you going to finish dressing?” you asked as you watched his throat work. 

He set the glass on the end table before pulling you to stand on wobbly legs. “I need to shake the sand off the bed. If you are strong enough, you’ll sleep better with the sand rinsed from your hair. They have a shower if you don’t wish to run a bath.” 

Was there something wrong with you? You nodded mutely, walking into the bathroom and turning on the shower. You mechanically washed the sand from your hair and body, coming back to blankets pulled back and a tray of dried fruits. 

Alastor stood, lighting a third oil lamp before switching off the electric lights. One was on each of the end tables, already lit. 

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“A bit, yes.” You hated how timid your voice came out. 

“I figured maybe you’d need a little snack?” Alastor offered, crossing the dim dark space. “Sometimes it can help if you’re feeling a bit on edge after…” 

“Oh,” You tried to fight the flush rising in your cheeks. It wasn’t normal to flush so much. He would think you were nothing more than a schoolgirl. “Thank you.” 

Alastor caught your chin and looked intently down at you. Could he tell you had cried in the shower? You hoped not. You were being a silly girl, that was all. You didn’t want to say anything for fear of sending him away.

“Are you sure you’re just tired?” Alastor asked.

“I am,” you said, smiling. You wanted it to just be that, not the insecurities of a girl. 

He hummed, looking into your eyes before leaning down and kissing you softly. “I’ll take a quick shower, too. Don’t want to get sand in the bed. Do you want me to leave the door open so you can be sure I don’t sneak out into the night?” 

“Alastor,” you smacked his chest on impulse, brain shutting off as soon as your hand hit his the naked skin. You’d forgotten he was half dressed in the moment. “I’m fine, honest.” 

“Alright, alright.” Alastor laughed, kissing you one last time before stepping into the bathroom. 

He closed the door most of the way, letting steam and the sounds of water mix with his musical humming as he washed away the beach. You scrubbed your eyes and sat on the bed, picking at dried fruit. You didn’t know where he had gotten it, but that didn’t matter. 

You wouldn’t let your silly head get in the way of what you had. The plate was near half gone when he returned, curls freshly weighed down by the water. He still wore no shirt. 

“Are you going to finish dressing?” You ask as he ran the towel over his hair, glasses held by an arm in his mouth. It was strange seeing him without them. They were such a part of him. 

“Would you like me to?” he asked, tossing the towel onto the chair in the room’s corner. An odd choice, but a convenient place for a towel. You startled, eyes wide as you struggled to form words. How did you say no, you didn’t want him to, but the lack of propriety was confusing you? “I rarely sleep with a shirt, but if you’d rather…” 

“No!” The word was too forceful, too loud, and you couldn’t take it back. He would think you easy, eager. But weren’t you? “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

“And you won’t be either?” Alastor asked, closing the distance and wrapping his arms around you. “I can change or I can sleep on the couch. Just say the word. You don’t have to feel bad about it at all.” 

“It’s fine.” You braved resting your hands on his bare chest, running them up and around his shoulders. It was a one off. You were imagining things. You hadn’t been ready, so you just hadn’t noticed how he wanted you. You told yourself that again and again. You’d pay better attention and it would be fine. He wanted you the way men wanted women. You were good enough for him. “I don’t want you to go. I’m not going to want you to go.” 

“Then we should get some sleep,” Alastor said, sweeping your legs out from under you and carrying you around the room as if you were a bride. He leaned over you and blew out the lamp he had just lit before carrying you to the bed, lit by fire. 

“Why the lamps?” You asked as he settled you down into the center of the bed. 

“I find them more relaxing than the light provided by electric lights.” 

You didn’t know what to say as he crawled into the bed next to you. He reached over you, long arms letting him reach to the lamp on your side and turned the flame down low, so low it hardly cast any light off at all. 

Alastor then turned down his lamp, letting it cast a soft glow over the room before he settled into the bed. You sat, looking at him as he ran his hand through his damp hair. He waited, and you waited, unsure what you should do.

When you’d go to bed with Laurence, you would find yourself as far to the edge as possible, not wanting to touch him and invite his affections. Your mind warred as you chewed your lip, unsure if Alastor wanted you near or if you should keep a distance. 

“Are you going to come here or do you prefer to sleep sitting up, curled up around yourself?” Alastor teased, looking at you in the dim light. 

“Go there?” 

“Yes,” Alastor grabbed your arm and tugged you softly toward him, “Unless you’d rather I not hold you.” 

“No, I- I’d like that. I just,” 

“Have never done this before either?” Alastor teased as he pulled you to him, ignoring the heat in your face as he settled you against his side. Your head rested against his bare chest, cradled by his shoulder as he draped his arm around your waist, thumb caressing your hip. 

“Not really,” you admitted, “I mean- I have I just, it’s different with you.” 

“How so?” he wrapped your hand in his, pulling it from where you had it hovering under the blanket to rest against his chest, sandwiched between his beating heart and his warm palm. 

“I’ve never wanted this before,” you whispered, eyes unfocused, looking out into the dark room. “I’d alway stay to be as far away as I could at night. I never wanted to give him a reason to hurt me more. Everything always hurt with him.” You realized you were crying when a tear dripped from your nose, splashing onto his chest.

“It’s shouldn’t be like that,” Alastor whispered, holding you tighter to him. “You shouldn’t be in fear of being harmed. You should be able to seek comfort in each other.”

“Then why is that how it is?” You curled into him, “Why is it you’re so soft with me, that you care to make me feel good, but all he will do is hurt me? What’s wrong with me?” 

“Nothing is wrong with you, my dear.” Alastor soothed, rubbing your back. “You’re beautiful, strong and a lovely cook. You’re kind. There’s nothing wrong with you at all. He is simply a pig of a man who doesn’t know what he has.” 

Silence ticked on as you listened to the thump of Alastor’s heart, tears leaking down your face to wet his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

“No need.” Alastor said, kissing the top of your head softly. You had relaxed in his arms, still awake, but sleep quickly claiming you. When was the last time you had allowed yourself to cry, not from pain or fear, but from the weight of your emotions alone? “Do you wish he was like this?” 

You sighed in his arms, and Alastor was sure you wouldn’t answer the question. He had no right to ask you that question. “No,” you whispered. “If I knew it could be like this before you, maybe. But now? I don’t want him at all. I want you. Is that wrong? Is it selfish?” 

Alastor shushed you, lulling you back to the doze you had been in. “We’re allowed to be selfish. I swear, I will free you from him.” 

“How?” you asked, words slurring with sleep as you sank deeper into relaxation. “Gonna find the Shadow Butcher.” 

Alastor barked out a laugh that he quickly choked down. “Maybe. Would it bother you if he found his end?” 

“I don’t know,” you whispered. “I don’t think so. I just want to be free. I just want to be with you.” 

You woke slowly with the morning sun tucked into Alastor’s arms as he curled around you. Your legs were tangled together. As you blinked your sleepy eyes open, they instantly met his brown eyes, so close. 

“Good Morning,” Alastor whispered, “I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Morning,” you whispered back. “You didn’t.” 

“I’v been waiting to get up and get coffee made,” Alastor said, running his leg up yours as he pulled you closer. 

“You could have,” you whispered, nestling into his chest tighter. 

“I didn’t want you to wake alone,” 

“I’m sorry for being silly last night,” you whispered, only to have him pull back and wait for you to look up at him. Reluctantly, you did. “I was-” 

“Fine.” Alastor said. “You were, and are, fine. You did nothing wrong. This is so very new, it’s alright to find yourself emotional, overwhelmed. I’m here to take care of you.” 

“Because you love me?” you tentatively said, reaching out to caress his cheek, dotted with stubble he had yet to tend to. 

“Because I love you,” he reassured, taking the time to say each word clearly, voice naked of the accent he so often wore. He was making a point, Alastor, the man loved you. “Now let’s get that coffee made. I could use a shave too.” 

You watched as rolled over you, settling his weight on forearms on either side of your shoulders. Leaning down, he kissed you hotly, tasting the morning on your lips. He sighed into this kiss, as if it was what he had been needing all morning. 

Then he was pulling away, dragging himself from the bed, and you were chasing him. He chuckled as you sat up, arms around his neck and pressing a searing kiss to his jaw, missing his lips. His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you against him as he stood.

“Coffee, then the day.” Alastor said, kissing you between the words. “You have until coffee is done until I fix my hair.” 

“Do you have to?” you asked, reaching up and running your fingers through the wild curls. “I like it like this.” 

Hand in hand, you walked down the boardwalk. You each had ice cream cones in your hands, both nearly gone as you laughed. The morning had given way. Magical moments of sweet domesticity gave way to an afternoon out. 

“You have ice cream on your face,” Alastor said, leaning forward and placing an open-mouthed kiss on the side of your mouth. You froze at the brazen action while his tongue slipped against your lips, scooping up the ice cream smeared on your face. 

It was sweet, out of a storybook. As had the rest of the morning and right into the afternoon. Music floated on the air as Alastor lead out down the streets. 

“Fine young couple,” an older woman said, smiling as you walked by. You couldn’t help but smile wider up at Alastor. She was right, you and he made a fine couple. It was a shame that you were only a couple for the weekend. 

A man played his guitar, sitting on the street. The music was rich, clumsy and a bit out of tune but it didn’t stop Alastor from dropping a few coins into the man’s cup. 

“May I have this dance?” Alastor asked, smiling at you like he was a boy asking a girl for the first time. 

You allowed him to take your hand as he spun you around the sidewalk, stepping off and onto the street as he spun you around. You couldn’t help how you giggled, feeling like a young girl again yourself as he dipped you, bringing you up in his arms. 

Being with Alastor was magical, as the sun began to set on Saturday. People watched, couples joined in, but all you saw was Alastor. All Alastor saw was you.

Oh, how good it felt to be in love. This is what Laurence had stolen from you but that was alright, you had found it anyway. For the rest of your life, you would fight for little moments to find your way to Alastor’s side. 

As you laughed, spinning in his arms, you couldn’t help but realize you would face any battle for him. You’d burn your life down for him if you knew he would survive. Hell, if you even thought you wouldn’t. 

Alastor was worth everything to you. 

Join us at VoxTek for a Vox themed Hazbin Discord where we talk Vox, Hazbin, writing, reading, art and who knows what else. You may even catch some exclusive sneak peeks at upcoming fics from some of your favorite writers including the first page of the next chapter of MisD a day early!!

[nachrosas]

CUPID'S PUPPY | e.prentiss x romanoff!reader

summary: in which a walk in the park with your puppy gives you more than a little fun. pairing: emily prentiss x romanoff!reader content warnings: none, just pure fluff! word count: 1.2k a/n: night, night! first time writing for emily prentiss, so I'm nervous! i want to give a big thank you to @mggslover who encouraged me to start writing about this idea! i had fun writing this one and i really hope you guys like it! feedback is always appreciated! also, my inbox is always open to chat! till the next one!

The park was particularly busy on that sunny Tuesday afternoon, but the sound of laughter, chatter, and footsteps didn't bother you. You were holding the lead of Bucky, your Belgian Malinois puppy, who was trotting lively beside you, his tail wagging as if he were greeting the whole world with his contagious animation. The current of wind blowing towards you carried the scent of flowers, freshly cut grass, and… food.

“Bucky, slow down!” you ordered, adjusting the strap of your fanny pack on your shoulder. It was the perfect day for a leisurely walk in the park, and you planned to make the most of it — since you didn't know when exactly you'd have another mission-free day. However, something seemed to distract your puppy. He raised his snout, sniffing more intensely, and his posture became alert.

“Hey, kid, what now?” you asked, laughing as he pulled a little harder on the leash.

That's when it happened. And, to your utter panic, Bucky fired without warning, the leash sliding quickly through your hands.

“Bucky! Stop!”

That's when it happened. And, to his utter panic, Bucky took off without warning, running into a woman with brown hair in a messy ponytail, absent-mindedly eating what looked like a sandwich while leafing through a book with a faded cover. Without warning, he jumped up, snatching the food out of her hands and running across the park.

“Bucky! Stop! Drop it now!”

You ran through the park, your face red with embarrassment as Bucky, with all the enthusiasm of someone who thought he'd just won the lottery, held the stolen sandwich firmly between his teeth. He settled comfortably in the soft grass, chewing his snack as if it were the best meal he'd ever had.

When you finally reached him, you knelt down beside him, trying to snatch the remains of the sandwich from his jaws, but he only turned his head away, protecting his delicious prize.

“You're terrible, you know that? Terrible!”

“He seems to think otherwise.” a humor-laden female voice replied behind you, startling you slightly.

You turned around quickly and, a few steps away, there she was: arms crossed and with a relaxed posture. Her eyes were shining and a huge smile that seemed to be lit up with amusement took over her face.

“I'm really sorry!” you began, standing up hastily, the words running over each other. “He's never done that! He's usually very polite. I can buy you another sandwich… or anything else you want to make it up to you!”

She raised an eyebrow, still smiling, and shook her head. “You don't have to. It's not the end of the world.” Her eyes turned to Bucky, who was now licking his paws, completely oblivious to the mess he'd just caused. “Besides, he's got good taste…”

You opened your mouth to thank her, but she finished, her soft smile turning into something a little provocative:

“… just like the owner.”

The words hung in the air for a second before you realized what she had said. A wave of heat went up your cheeks, and any attempt to answer was shuffled off with a nervous laugh.

“I… uh… eh… Well, thanks, I guess?”

She laughed again, this time more softly, and held out her hand. “Emily Prentiss. Nice to meet you and this little sandwich thief.”

You accepted the handshake, your face still feeling hot. “Nice to meet you… even if that's not exactly the best first impression.”

“I disagree.” Emily blinked in your direction and, for a brief moment, the chaos caused by Bucky seemed to have been worth it.

Emily looked at what was left of the sandwich: a tiny piece, still wrapped in the crumpled paper, that Bucky had saved.

“Well, he left something. Do you want to share?” she asked, holding up the piece with a playful smile on her lips.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Eh, I couldn't accept it, especially after… that.” you gestured to Bucky, who was still lying on the grass, licking his lips as if he didn't feel a pang of guilt in the world.

“Okay.” Emily said, tossing what was left onto the table next to you with a thoughtful look on her face. “How about a coffee? The place around the corner has amazing sandwiches. And I promise to keep an eye on your dog this time.”

You hesitated. Accepting an invitation from a complete stranger wasn't exactly in your plans for that day — however, neither was Bucky stealing a sandwich. But there was something about Emily — her genuine smile, the relaxed way she had handled the situation — that made you want to stay a little longer.

“All right,” you said, smiling back. “But it's on me. Bucky's already put me in enough debt for today.”

Emily laughed, starting to walk beside him. “Fine. But only if he behaves.”

Bucky, as if he understood that the conversation was now about him, looked up with an expression of almost innocence. 

On the walk to the café, the conversation between you flowed naturally. Emily asked about Bucky: how long you'd had him, how he generally behaved — and you again assured her that he behaved much better than he does today. You told her about the various adventures and pranks you'd been on with him, and Emily, in return, told you about her childhood dog, called Max, who she also regarded as a “little terror”.

“I think he knew how to pick his targets,” she joked. “Max also stole a sandwich once. It was from the most annoying neighbor in the whole neighborhood. I remember he was quite furious, but my mother managed to get around it with an apple pie from a prestigious restaurant.”

“So, for you, Bucky was just an evolution of this legacy of thievery?” you teased, feeling more at ease with every step.

“It's quite possible.” Emily laughed, and the sound was light and infectious. 

The conversation between you flowed with such surprising ease that you didn't even notice the time passing. Emily was fun and full of stories that made you laugh and relax. When the waiter brought the bill, she insisted on splitting it.

“Consider it a draw,” she joked. “A sandwich was stolen for a shared coffee.”

The golden light of late afternoon illuminated the sky, giving the scene an almost magical tone. When they reached the door of the café, Emily turned to you, a shy smile on her lips.

“I come here often,” she said, putting her hands in her coat pockets. “Maybe we'll meet up again… if Bucky isn't too busy stealing sandwiches, of course.”

You laughed, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks again. “Maybe. Or, well, we could arrange a time, if you want to avoid food surprises.”

Emily arched an eyebrow, clearly holding back a bigger smile. “That sounds like a plan. Can I take your number?”

You nodded and exchanged numbers, the gesture accompanied by a slight feeling of nervousness, but also anticipation.

“Right, so I'll see you around!” Emily said, taking one last look at Bucky, who was watching everything curiously. “And if he needs a lawyer for his next prank, let me know.”

You laughed, nodding as she walked away.

As you walked home, you looked at Bucky, who was walking beside you with his chest puffed out, as if he knew exactly what he had done.

“You knew all along, didn't you?” you asked, and he wagged his tail enthusiastically, as if in agreement.

A smile escaped his lips. The day that had started out like any other had turned into something unexpected and special — all thanks to a dog with a refined taste for sandwiches and, apparently, casual encounters.

[angelltheninth]

First Time Meeting The Obey Me Brothers

Pairing: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor x Reader

Tags: fluff, teasing, first meeting, hand kisses, flirting, taking a nap, being spoiled, school council

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters

A/N: The demon brothers give me so many feelings that I can only express in text form.

Lucifer is your student council vice president and you met him when you first got to his office. He didn't think too much of you, yeah you had good grades, you were pretty and popular with the rest of the students but those traits won't be enough to charm him. With him you'll have to prove you're a hard worker and take things seriously if you want any kind of praise from him.

Mammon meets you at the shopping mall when he sees you looking at some earrings. They're pretty so you must have good taste, which also means you'd have no problem hanging out with him eventually. He buys the earrings and they're the first gift he ever gives you when you get into a relationship. Now he wouldn't spend money on just anyone so you better cherish those.

Leviathan doesn't meet you in person until later on but rather over the online game you both play. You start chatting more and more and over time the games become less about the game itself and more about the two of you spending time together and getting to know each other better. When he first meets you in person he gets a little defensive over the teasing, a little different than when he's online.

Satan actually meets you at the library when he's checking out some books. He realizes you work there part-time and starts visiting even more often just to see you. Not like he's hiding it either, he 's being openly flirty, asking you where certain books are even though he knows and kisses your hand every time you hand him a book. Eventually he does ask you to hang out outside of work.

Asmodeus meets you on the first day of school and he immediately starts flirting with you. Walks you to class, he asks you to lunch, he tells you about the school and how it works but he is more on guard when you're around his brothers. Does all he can to charm you as much as possible, but also his crush isn't superficial. Not anymore at least, not when he gets to know you so much better.

Beelzebub first sees you sitting alone at the café he frequents and likes to eat at. The more he sees you the more he realizes you're always alone there so one day he asks if he can sit with you because the café is pretty busy and full that day. You start talking and soon enough it becomes common for the two of you to sit together. The staff also notices and bring you special couples drinks and snacks.

Belphegor wasn't awake when you first met him because he was taking a nap at the time, in one of the empty classrooms. Startled awake he thinks you're gonna rat him out but you found his sleeping face so cute that you can't bring yourself to do it. While he doesn't like you're calling him cute he appreciates you not telling on him. Not only that time but also every week after.

[keep-wonwooing]

— Two Boyfriends

synopsis ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ ˗ˏˋ "I want two boyfriends so i can dress them up like twins!" ˎˊ˗

pairing ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ idol!seongcheol x chubby fem reader x idol!mingyu

warnings ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ poly, fluff, & physical touch (can't think of anything)

"Kim Mingyu, get back here!" My yell echoed through the house. My boyfriend of one years and 3 months, Kim Mingyu, who’s also an idol, had taken my PC holder that featured an official photo of Joshua—my bias.

"No! This is supposed to be me, not Joshua hyung!" he whined, hiding behind the couch.

He always whines like this, but normally, he’s fine with it. I don’t know what got into him today.

"Come on, baba, give it back, please?" I pouted, already feeling tired from chasing him around the apartment.

Shaking his head, he bolted upstairs, disappearing from my sight. I sighed and flopped onto the couch.

"I’m home!" I heard the door open, revealing my other boyfriend, Seventeen’s leader, Choi Seungcheol.

"Baby… Mingyu took it again!" I whined, rolling dramatically on the couch.

"Hi there, love," he greeted me warmly, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

Amazing, right? I have both of them as my boyfriends. It all started when I met them at an offline fan meeting.

flashback

⤷ I’m currently on my way to Seventeen’s offline fan meeting, and I’m super excited because this is my first time attending and seeing them up close.

While waiting for the guards to let us in, I’m double-checking all the bags containing the gifts I prepared for the boys.

Finally, the doors opened, and the Carats and I began lining up to keep everything organized. I noticed most of the fans were with their friends, while I stood alone. I’m not great at making friends with strangers, so I stayed quiet.

As I was checking my bags again, I suddenly heard squeals, and then Seventeen started appearing one by one.

I couldn’t help but smile as I saw them waving at us. As a fan finally seeing them up close, I enthusiastically waved back. I caught Hoshi looking at me, and he waved directly at me—I’m sure he noticed the tiger-themed t-shirt I was wearing.

"Say the name!" Seungcheol began, his voice loud and confident.

"Seventeen! Hello, we are Seventeen!" the members chorused, bowing after their greeting.

A staff member handed Seungcheol a microphone so he could speak.

"Good afternoon, Carats! We really appreciate all the effort you made to attend this offline fan meeting, and we hope you’ll enjoy your time with us. Thank you!" he said, looking around the crowd while waving.

Oh my gosh, he’s so handsome in real life! I fanned myself, trying to calm down my blushing face. Who wouldn’t be flustered with these guys standing on stage, looking absolutely fine?

The members finally took their seats, and the staff began assisting some Carats onto the stage. While the first fan interacted with Seungkwan, the other members started engaging with the rest of us in the audience.

"How are you guys feeling today? Isn’t it a little cold?" Dino asked, earning mixed answers of “yes” and “no,” which made him chuckle.

"Yah! I saw a lot of Carats wearing tiger shirts today. Where did you guys buy those?" Hoshi asked, looking amazed.

"Shein!" I answered. I felt embarrassed when I realized I was the only one who replied, while the others just laughed, finding Hoshi adorable.

"Oh?! Really?! How much is it? I’m willing to buy it!" he excitedly said, making the other members laugh.

My number was 21, but they were still on number 4, so it was going to take a while for my turn. We were given five minutes to talk to each member, which I felt was enough time to enjoy the moment.

Am I being delusional, or is Mingyu really looking at me? I waved at him with a smile, not expecting anything, but when he waved back, my cheeks burned, and I quickly broke eye contact.

After an hour, it was finally my turn. I had just finished talking to Seungkwan, Dino, The8, and Jun.

"Thank you so much for this!" Jun said, pointing at the cat plushie with his name on the collar.

"You’re welcome! Bye-bye!" I giggled, waving at him before finally moving on to Hoshi, who had been eyeing my shirt.

"Hey there!" he greeted me, starting to sign my album.

"So earlier, you asked us Carats where we bought our clothes, and I was the one who said Shein," I began, hoping to make the conversation more personal.

"Yes, yes! I really wanted to know where to buy more shirts, especially with that kind of design!" he said with a surprised expression.

"You don’t have to buy anything, though, because I bought you two tiger-themed shirts. I was nervous you might not like them, but I still wanted to give them to you," I said quickly, handing him a bag decorated with a cute tiger cartoon.

"I will definitely keep this bag!" he exclaimed, examining the bag before opening it. The Carats behind us gasped softly, admiring the gesture.

"It’s pretty, Hoshi-yah!" a Carat called out, and he proudly stood up to show it off.

We laughed, and he sat back down, thanking me nonstop. "I guess you’ll want more? I’ll tell you the shop then," I teased, giggling.

The next person was Joshua—my ultimate bias since the first day I started stanning Seventeen. He had always caught my attention.

"Hello, you’re really pretty," Joshua said softly, smiling as he began signing my album.

"You’re even prettier!" I replied, making us both giggle. I handed him a bag with a cinnamon roll plushie and a simple necklace featuring their group picture.

"Woah~ So I really do look like Cinnamon Roll, huh?" he joked, making me laugh and nod.

"Really! You’re both so cute," I replied.

"Oh my gosh, how much is this? I really love it!" he said, admiring the necklace.

While Joshua and I were talking, I felt someone staring at me. I glanced over and saw Seungcheol, who had just finished speaking to another Carat, looking in my direction.

"Thank you so much, really!" Joshua said, before the staff guided me to the next member.

"Hi there," Seungcheol greeted me with a warm, handsome smile.

I was stunned and stuttered when I greeted him back. "H-hello!" I nervously replied, making him laugh.

"How’s it going? Are you having fun?" he asked while signing my album.

"I’m really enjoying it so far! This is also my first time attending an event like this," I said, smiling.

"Woah, really? I’m happy you were able to attend this one," he said sincerely, looking at me with kind eyes.

He slowly held my hand, and I blushed so hard. I had held hands with the other members too, but Seungcheol had this special effect on me. Maybe it’s because he’s one of my bias wreckers.

"Here’s my gift for you!" I said, handing him a cherry hairclip along with one for his dog, Kkuma. "This one’s for you, and this is for Kkuma. I hope she’ll like it."

"She will, I’m sure!" he replied, examining the clips with a warm smile. "Can you put it on for me?" he asked, pointing at his hair.

I nodded quickly, my hands trembling as I clipped it onto his hair. "You look even more handsome with it," I said, smiling shyly.

"Really? I’m glad then," he said, smiling back and gently holding my hands again.

"I hope you guys aren’t too tired with your schedules and are getting enough rest," I sighed and pouted. "I was really worried when I kept seeing articles about you guys being sick."

He patted my head warmly. "Thank you, but don’t worry too much, okay? We’re doing fine right now."

After my conversation with Seungcheol and the other members, Mingyu was the last one I met before stepping off the stage.

"Hi, pretty~" he greeted me with a charming smile, glancing at me briefly before signing my album.

"I have a gift for you," I said, handing him a bag. "It’s a shirt you can use for working out or just as daily wear."

"So, your name is Y/N?" he asked, and I nodded immediately.

"You have a pretty name—just like you," he said, making me blush.

"I... uh... thank you," I stammered.

"I’ll definitely wear this! You’ll see it on my Instagram or in a random Going Seventeen video," he chuckled, holding up the shirt.

"Are you going to the Follow tour concert?" he asked me.

"Yes, I hope so. I’m nervous I won’t be able to get a ticket," I pouted.

"Don’t worry—you’ll get one. And I’ll make sure to find you!" he exclaimed.

"Really? I was planning to get a VIP ticket so I could jump properly to Aju Nice," I joked, making him laugh.

"Time’s up!" the staff announced. I smiled at the staff before bidding goodbye to Mingyu.

---

A few months later, tickets for the Follow tour in Seoul went on sale. I was sweating in my room, juggling three devices, anxiously waiting for my turn. On my laptop, my queue number was 961. I almost cried—I had a real chance to attend!

---

The day of the Follow tour concert arrived, and it was time for the soundcheck. I was so lucky to have a spot near the barricade.

They were performing Don Quixote, and I saw Seungcheol walking toward our side. He stopped for a moment, then ran over to Mingyu, dragging him back to our section and pointing at us.

The Carats behind me cheered loudly as Mingyu smiled widely and waved at me.

---

A few hours later, the concert started with Super. Everyone was screaming their lungs out and singing along. The concert went smoothly, with a few interactions between me and the members—especially Mingyu, who kept coming to our side of the stage.

At one point, he even took my phone, ran around the stage, and recorded videos. I was shocked—who wouldn’t be? My bias had just taken my phone to snap a bunch of selcas with the other members!

During Aju Nice, the members ran freely across the stage. Mingyu handed my phone back to a security guard, pointing at me to make sure I got it.

I thanked both the guard and Mingyu as he walked away, my heart full of gratitude and excitement.

The concert had ended, and I was waiting to leave the venue when a staff member tapped my shoulder. “Excuse me, please follow me.”

I looked around nervously, hoping no one noticed. Luckily, most Carats were too busy chatting to see the guard opening the barricade for me.

I followed her, confused. “Why do you need me? Who are you?” I asked.

“I’m Seungcheol’s manager. He asked me to find you,” she replied, leading me to a door marked Seventeen.

The door opened, and I saw Dino. “Oh! You’re the one who gave me the otter plushie! I brought it today—want to see?” he said excitedly before running off to fetch it.

He remembers me? I thought, stunned.

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right? The one who gave me the necklace with our group picture inside?” Joshua approached me, holding a water bottle.

“Yes, that’s me,” I said, smiling shyly.

He smiled back warmly and gestured for me to enter. Inside, a few staff members were tidying up while the members relaxed.

“Here it is!” Dino returned, proudly showing off the otter plushie.

“And it’s wearing the Dino shirt!” I exclaimed, giggling.

“Ah, you’re here!” Mingyu appeared beside me, flashing his signature grin.

“Well, yes. But why am I here? Shouldn’t you guys be resting?” I asked, puzzled.

He nodded. “We are, but…” Before finishing, he gently took my arm and guided me to the side where Seungcheol was seated, watching us.

“Are you our noona?” Mingyu asked suddenly.

“I’m a ’96 liner, and I share the same birthday as Jun,” I replied with a laugh.

“Really?!” Jun chimed in from across the room, making everyone laugh.

Seungcheol spoke up. “The members and I really appreciated all the gifts you gave us. Some of us are using them, and others are keeping them safe.”

“I’m just glad you liked them,” I replied, still feeling a bit nervous being this close to them.

“Here,” Mingyu handed me a blanket to cover my legs since I was wearing a short skirt.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

Seungcheol continued, “So, we were thinking of inviting you to dinner—if you’re okay with it. No pressure!” He raised his hands reassuringly.

“Oh? I’m fine with it. But is it really okay? I mean, it’s a group dinner, and—”

“Noona, please?” Dino interrupted, giving me puppy eyes.

“It’ll be fun!” Jeonghan added, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

I laughed. “Well, if it’s okay with you guys, then sure. I’ll go.”

The room erupted in cheers, and the members quickly changed so we could leave for dinner early.

---

Dinner

We ended up at a restaurant enjoying pork belly. While the others drank lightly, I stuck to soda since I wasn’t great with alcohol.

I sat between Dino and Jeonghan, playing the famous hongsam game.

“Wow, I’ve only ever watched this in videos, but playing it with you guys is so much fun!” I said, laughing until my stomach hurt.

“Noona got it wrong!” Dino yelled triumphantly.

“Eh? I did?” I asked, confused.

He eagerly explained why, and everyone laughed, telling me to drink my soda as a penalty. I agreed, and we continued playing.

After dinner, Seungcheol paid the bill.

“Seungcheol must be rich!” I teased, making him roll his eyes.

“Aye, don’t be humble!” I added, and the others burst out laughing.

When they offered to drop me off, I initially refused but eventually gave in. I ended up on their bus, heading home.

“Thank you for today,” I said sincerely.

“You’re welcome. The boys really wanted to be friends with you, especially after the fan meeting—Dino in particular,” Jeonghan teased.

“Can we have your number, noona?” Mingyu asked, blushing as the others teased him.

I laughed. “Is it okay?” I asked Seungcheol, who nodded.

“Of course, don’t worry,” he said with a warm smile.

When we reached my stop, I thanked them again and waved goodbye. It wasn’t until I was inside that it hit me: I was now friends with Seventeen, and Mingyu had my number.

---

A Few Months Later

⤷I had grown closer to the boys and often stayed at Seungcheol’s house, where they all lived. Each member had their own room—it was basically a mansion!

“Noona! Seungkwan keeps saying I’m bad at badminton!” Dino whined, sitting beside me.

“Because you are! Right, noona? You saw how I beat him in TTT,” Seungkwan smirked.

“I did, but don’t tease Dino so much!” I laughed.

Suddenly, I remembered something. “Wait! Oh no, my ramen!” I ran to the kitchen and found Mingyu standing there.

“Is this yours, noona?” he asked, pointing at the pot.

I nodded sheepishly. “I forgot because I was watching a K-drama with the guys.”

“Your ramen’s ready. I’ll grab a bowl for you,” he said, opening the cabinet.

“Y/N?” Seungcheol’s voice interrupted us.

I turned to him. “Oppa, why?”

“Can you both come upstairs to the balcony?”

I glanced at Mingyu, who gave me a small smile. “Let’s go,” he said.

As we followed Seungcheol, I yelled back to the others, “Don’t eat my ramen!”

Their smirks told me they probably would.

When we reached the balcony, Seungcheol was already waiting. “What’s wrong? I’m nervous!” I joked, standing between him and Mingyu.

Seungcheol nudged Mingyu. “You should go first.”

Mingyu took a deep breath and looked at me. “Just tell her,” Seungcheol encouraged.

"Why me?" Mingyu whined. "Fine, I'll tell her," Seungcheol sighed.

"I know this might end up awkward, but... me and Mingyu want to confess something to you..." Seungcheol began. "The day we saw you at the fan meeting, we were immediately attracted to your beauty, and we couldn’t wait to have a conversation with you. We were so happy to have the chance to talk to such a beautiful fan. After that, me and the guys couldn’t stop talking about you, especially Mingyu. I told them that we should invite you to dinner if we got the chance, and we immediately took that opportunity after the concert. As time passed, Mingyu and I started to develop a small crush on you. We’ve been hanging out a lot, and now we just wanted to share our feelings with you, hoping it won’t make things awkward if you like one of us."

I couldn’t quite process what he said.

"H-hey, no pressure. If you’re not ready—"

"No," I interrupted, "I mean, uh... how do I explain this? I do like you both too, but I... I don’t know. I don’t want to pick between you two," I nervously said while playing with my fingers.

"I also like you both personally—not just because you two are my biases, but for who you really are. We’ve all become so close, and I was confused about who I liked, but I realized that maybe I just like you both equally..." I confessed.

"Really? Maybe we can make it work?" Mingyu said.

"I don’t understand," Seungcheol said, looking at Mingyu in confusion.

"Well, I’m gonna admit that I find Cheol-hyung attractive—"

I stopped myself from giggling, and Mingyu noticed. He shyly hid his face against my shoulder.

"Aye~ don’t be shy!" I teased.

"Stop it, noona!" He whined.

"Continue, Gyu," we heard Seungcheol say. Even though he was nervous, Mingyu continued.

"Well... yeah, I do find you, hyung, attractive, and might have small feelings for you and noona. So I’m suggesting that we should work it out and try to be in a relationship?" Mingyu continued.

"Ooh! It’s like a poly relationship?" I asked, and Mingyu nodded as an answer.

"I like reading that kind of genre, though, so I guess it’s a good idea. What’s your thought on that?" I said, looking at Seungcheol, who was quietly observing us.

"Well, me and Mingyu already talked about this kind of setup. We were just thinking that you wouldn’t agree and might find it weird," Seungcheol explained, leaning against the railing.

"I don’t find it weird," I replied with a smile. "But what about the boys? I’m scared that their perspective will change towards me when they find out about this," I said, sighing.

"About that, we’ve already talked to them, and they were fine with it. They were actually supportive," Seungcheol reassured me.

I took a deep breath, absorbing everything they just told me. The idea of being in a relationship with both Seungcheol and Mingyu felt like walking into uncharted territory—but it also felt exciting and genuine.

"So... you’re saying the boys are supportive?" I asked cautiously, my fingers fidgeting with the edge of Mingyu’s blanket.

Mingyu nodded, his expression soft and reassuring. "We talked about it because we wanted their blessing before confessing. They even teased us about how nervous we were."

Seungcheol chuckled, the sound easing some of my nerves. "Yeah, Jeonghan especially had a field day with it. He said he ‘saw this coming from a mile away.’"

I couldn’t help but laugh. "That does sound like Jeonghan."

For a moment, we all stood in comfortable silence, the city lights twinkling behind us. Then Mingyu reached out and gently took my hand in his. "Noona, we just want to make you happy. If this setup doesn’t feel right for you, we’ll understand."

Seungcheol nodded in agreement, his gaze steady and sincere. "We care about you too much to push you into something you’re not ready for."

Their honesty and thoughtfulness made my chest tighten with emotion. I realized that what I felt for them wasn’t just a fleeting crush or admiration. It was something deeper, built on trust and genuine connection.

"I..." I hesitated for a moment before meeting their eyes. "I want to try. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I want to explore it with both of you."

Their faces lit up, Mingyu’s smile bright and Cheol’s soft and comforting. Mingyu pulled me into a playful hug, his excitement contagious. "Noona, you won’t regret this! We’ll make sure of it!"

Seungcheol’s arms wrapped around both of us, his warmth grounding. "Let’s take this one step at a time, together."

And in that moment, surrounded by their laughter and warmth, I knew I had made the right choice.

"So they finally had the guts to tell you?" Jeonghan teased as the three of us headed back downstairs.

"Shut up, hyung!" Mingyu said, making Jeonghan laugh.

- end of flashback -

back to present

⤷"What did he take?" Cheol asked, helping me stand up from the couch.

"My photocard!" I replied.

"Mingyu!" He called, and we saw him poke his head out from the door upstairs. I gave him a smirk after Cheol motioned for him to come down.

"Give it back," Cheol ordered.

"But love!" Mingyu whined before handing it back to me. I hugged him and leaned my head against his chest since he's taller.

"We both know you also have one, right? And it's always in my bag wherever I go," I said, making him nod sheepishly while smiling.

Cheol just laughed at us before dragging us to the kitchen, showing us the food he bought for us.

"Woah!" Mingyu and I exclaimed as we saw the spread.

"Thank you, baby!" I said, pecking his cheek.

"You're welcome, bab," he smiled, caressing my hair.

"Let's eat!" Mingyu cheered, taking the food out of the plastic.

I may or may not do a part 2 of this 😁 please tell me your thoughts about this at the comment section!

[avelera]

How do you think one should go when trying to "fix" the narrative or make it less angstier? Because when it comes to season 1, I feel like it's easier, but when it comes to season 2, you sorta have the impression that you HAVE to let all the events play up as they are even if you want to make Jayce and Viktor reconcile earlier. For example, Jayce could have tried to show Viktor the truth as early as episode 6, but he doesn't and instead blasts him. Same with episode 8. And it makes me wonder just what exactly Mage Viktor told him. Like did he tell him to let things go exactly like that or did Jayce just assume they should. And this is mainly a peev of mine, but to be honest, when I saw Puppet Viktor on episode 8, I genuinely assumed Singed had already healed Viktor and got baffled to see he only did after Jayce rejected him. So, how do you think things would've gone if Jayce had accepted Viktor? Albeit in a "Only if you listen to what I say and think REAAAALLLY hard if that's what you still want". The most I can think of the top of ky head is Ambessa being down an army and Singed being disappointed in Viktor once again not following his example. What do you think?

I'm going to assume this is for fanfic AU purposes because I'm not super interested in litigating how S2 "should" have gone.

As for why did Jayce not try to reason with Viktor in 2.06, I think we have to infer that it wouldn't have worked.

The theory I go with is that the Hexcore was still controlling Viktor too completely at that point. Jayce could have talked until he was blue in the face or he could have used touch to show Viktor directly what the future would hold, it wouldn't matter.

I suspect that Jayce knew that even if he had gotten through to Viktor, Viktor wouldn't have had the power to throw off the Hexcore's influence either (we're going pure Watsonian here, Doylist the explanation is: we wouldn't have a story).

So at that point, Jayce doesn't tell the future through touch or words to Viktor because he needs Viktor but more important the Hexcore to be ignorant of the events that will be needed to truly destroy it for good.

My guess is that the sequence of events had to go like this:

Even if Viktor could be convinced at the commune, it wouldn't matter because the Hexcore was more powerful than him.

Viktor would need an alternate source of power in order to cast aside the Hexcore's influence.

The only sequence of events that get Viktor to a point where he wants to and can separate himself from the Hexcore and then destroy it are what we see in canon.

It requires 1) Viktor and the Hexcore to gain the power of the Anomaly that resides at the base of the Hexgate tower. Jayce's attempts to remove the cores and talk to him were only stalling actions for the critical moments needed to buy time for Ekko to wake up because

2) Ekko needs to throw a bomb at Viktor's head made from an Anomaly from an alternate universe that Viktor has no awareness about, so it truly surprises him AND the Hexcore.

The Anomaly cracks the outer shell around Viktor, the Machine Herald, which is actually a manifestation of the Hexcore's influence over Viktor.

Then Jayce's pleas and the information about the future can get through to Viktor, through the crack in the Hexcore's influence.

Then, with the power of the Anomaly and the rune in Jayce's wrist (which is in turn powered up by Wizard Viktor), Viktor and Jayce together can withdraw the Hexcore's influence from all the people who have been assimilated (thus rendering the puppets immediately inert), withdraw the tendrils of influence from the people who have been captured, and use the power of the Anomaly to erase the Hexcore from existence. Without that exact sequence of events, they wouldn't have the power to do so.

Had Jayce tried to warn Viktor in 2.06, the Hexcore would have realized the Anomaly has the power to destroy it. So Jayce couldn't tell him about the Anomaly then or the Hexcore would have avoided going there. The Anomaly gave power to Viktor as well as the Hexcore.

That said, it's still a very narrow path to victory, which is one reason I think Jayce still tried to tell Viktor not to go to the Hexgates, perhaps knowing it would only goad Viktor to go there sooner, as was required by the plan, OR perhaps he truly hoped against hope that he could talk Viktor out of this inevitable sequence, like when he tried to reason with him at the base of the tower, only to be shown over and over that Wizard Viktor is right, there is no way to get through to him before Ekko's bomb goes off and separates Viktor's consciousness from the Hexcore's goals even by a fraction.

Also remember, Jayce's promise to Viktor, the one he references in his speech, was that he would destroy the Hexcore. All of this, from the beginning, has been about destroying the Hexcore.

Viktor once free of the Hexcore's influence thanks to the bomb and the realization brought on by Jayce's plea, tries to destroy and withdraw its influence alone. Then Jayce steps in, and they destroy the Hexcore and withdraw its influence together.

I think a lot of people lost track of the fact that the Hexcore is embedded in Viktor's chest and still active throughout S2. One reason Viktor warned that it had to be destroyed is that he knew it had taken over his mind enough and was physically controlled him enough already, just from the transformation of his leg, that he knew he couldn't do it himself, the Hexcore would stop him.

This also explains why Viktor isn't trying to destroy the Hexcore anymore in S2 and why he suddenly believes in Glorious Evolution. He knew before it took him over that he wouldn't have the strength to fight it. His look of disappointment at Jayce in 2.02 is, I'd argue, the last flicker of his awareness that he's doomed to carry out its will, now that Jayce has made it a part of him. He has been taken over by it through Jayce's attempt to save his life.

Anyway, I hope this answers your question!

[yinemw]

𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

context: taking care of bf Tamaki when he’s anxious (gender neutral reader)

warnings: none

character: Tamaki Amajiki from MHA

m.list

“Oh Tamaki” you say softly, walking up to the poor boy who was standing up against the wall. Head rested against the cold stone, hands in his pockets as his body quivered ever so slightly. Mirio had texted you that he was having one of his ‘meltdowns’ again, knowing you always manage to make him feel better. “Hey, it’s me”

“…hey” he replied, taking a step back from the wall. Knowing what was coming next, it had become a habit of some sort for the two of you, almost a routine. Moving to stand in front of him, you let Tamaki rest his forehead against yours instead of the wall. Hands wrapped around your waist instead of being stuffed in his pockets. He wasn’t a pda type of guy, but it was better than standing alone against a wall.

Your arms circle around his shoulders, pulling him even closer. His eyes close and you feel his body calm down. “So, what happened?”

“Oh you know…the usual” he mumbles, arms tightening a little around you. He liked the contact of your body against his, to feel the warmth radiating from you. With his eyes closed, all he has to focus on was your breath fanning his face and your sweet voice reassuring him. “I just want to go home”

You can’t help but let out a soft chuckle, rubbing his tense back with your fingers. “I know you do, but the day isn’t finished yet. We have one more class to attend, and after that we can go home, okay?”

“Not okay” he shakes his head slightly, leaning his head down to your shoulder instead and squeezing you in his arms suddenly. Feeling your heartbeat slowly sync up with his own. His heartbeat slowing down the longer you stayed standing like that, in each others arms. “They don’t look like potatoes Y/n, and I freeze up, unable to do anything”

You did truly feel bad for your boyfriend, his anxiety always eating up at him, making his daily life more difficult then it should be. But sometimes it also happened to be a little funny. Potatoes? You had heard that one before, first time he met you he had mumbled the same thing. Calling you a pretty potato and running off in embarrassment when he realized he had said the words out loud. “Maybe that’s a good thing? Talking potatoes would be creepy” you mumble into his pointy ear, continuing to rub your fingers into the muscles of his back.

Tamaki shudders, burying his head deeper into your neck. Eyes closed shut so all he saw was black and all he felt was you. “Let’s go home”

“Where exactly is home?” You ask softly, it’s not like you two lived together, but it seemed like recently you hadn’t been at your own place for ages. Always going over to Tamaki’s place, sleeping in his bed with him. Half of your clothes were in his closet and all toiletries in his bathroom.

“Wherever you are” he replies, not realizing the effect it had on you. He was being fully serious, meaning it wholeheartedly.

“What? That’s so cheesy…” you laugh nervously, trying to hide the fact you felt a clear blush on your cheeks.

“Is it?” He asks panicked, lifted his head from your shoulder, eyes slightly wide, looking into yours to see if he had done anything wrong to upset you or make you uncomfortable.

“No no! I was joking, it was cute. You feel like home too, why do you think I spend most of time at your place?”

His panic seems to fade, heartbeat still racing though, but for other reasons now. “O-oh, yeah, I like having you at my place”

You can’t help but smile, nodding your head in agreement. “Okay you know what, let’s call in sick for the last lesson today, I can say I got a fever and needed someone to take me home, and that someone is you, okay?”

He seems to light up immediately, letting out a relived sigh. “Yes please, I also need to buy some takoyaki on our way home”

“That’s fine, I’m pretty hungry anyways” you take his hand into yours and start walking with him. Leaning over and trying to press a kiss to his lips, you barely graze his lips before he pulls away.

“Y/n!! We’re in public!!” He covers his face in embarrassment and you don’t hold back your laugh, pulling him into a hug. Placing kisses all over his soft skin.

“I will always understand your anxiety and take care of you, but like hell I’m not gonna kiss my boyfriend no matter where we are. That’s just something you have to get used to”

Tamaki lets out a sigh, knowing you were right, he did have to get used to it. He couldn’t picture his life without you, and if it meant getting embarrassed in public by your kisses just to see your smile, he’d let you do it any time.

[loquaciousquark]

DAI Update

I haven't forgotten Tav's BG3 playthrough (I have the pictures put together, just need to assemble the posts), but now that I've gotten through the first Solas romance scene, I felt the need to share some DAI screenshots to mark my progress.

This is Adahla Lavellan, electricity/spirit mage. She likes history and religious study and puzzles and, much to my chagrin, Solas.

She's got the vallaslin of Dirthamen (secrets, knowledge) and a hunger to understand the roots of major historical & legendary events. I'm still learning her as I play, but so far I know she's very self-assured and has almost no regrets; once she commits to a path, she lets go of wondering what else might have been and completely focuses on the decisions still ahead.

I've been trying to lean into the spy stuff mentioned in the prologue & in her codex. I know she was a foundling left with the clan at birth by non-elves, and she has a fascination with other cultures and especially with the various theologies scattered across Thedas. (I'm pretty sure she devoured every Genitivi text she could find growing up.)

While she does worship the elven gods, she doesn't disbelieve in any of the others; rather, she's deeply curious about finding ways where the elvhenan tradition and Andrastian tradition can both be true, or where the legends of the Old Gods and Tyrdda Bright-Axe might have overlapped at their religious root.

Her familiarity with these cultures made her the most suitable to represent the Lavellan clan at the Conclave. The mark is more of an exciting mystery to her than a painful burden, and though she does believe in the diplomatic efforts of the Inquisition and is firmly comfortable in her place leading the charge against Corypheus (since he wants to kill specifically her), she's secretly most invested in the Inquisition's acquisition of ancient texts, access to libraries, and uncovering of secrets. For her, "Inquisitor" is a decidedly literal title.

Romance stuff under the cut.

I was very unsure of how the Solas romance would go with a character like her. As @silksieve said, I'm coming at the romance from the wrong end; I already know who Solas is and yet know literally zero of the romance structure. I needed to create a character who could survive a heartbreak, and I think I've done that, but I'm fascinated to see how the intermediary beats shake out.

However, the romance ended up sparking naturally due to lovely happenstance. I've been keeping Solas in the party almost constantly so I can learn to like him, which meant he was present as I worked through all the astrariums and ocularums in the Hinterlands, the Storm Coast, and most of the Emerald Graves. (Yes, even here, I'm still a completionist.) This led to a nice bit of headcanon that Adahla & Solas worked through a lot of the star puzzles together, which meant that later in the Graves, when I stumbled upon one without Solas in the party, Adahla & I both had a moment of seriously missing him and wishing he was there.

It felt natural, therefore, to examine (logically and methodically) why she was missing him so much, and after bringing him a copy of the unsolved map so she could watch him solve it and judge the number of tries it took him, I think she realized she was growing interested in more than his stories of Fade wanderings and legends out of time.

Considering this whole relationship started with him being grabby and rude while she felt like death, I'm amazed they've gotten this far. She may not have always liked him, but she has always respected him, and I the player was surprised at how smooth the change in her opinion felt.

Also as a player, I'm still a bit unsure of Solas myself. I like the deep wealth of history and knowledge he provides, but there's a...a sort of rigid pride to him that I personally still find off-putting. As I mentioned on stream, I'm going to need to see some chinks in the armor to really buy into the romance in any major way. Plus, he's just so...blandly designed! I dunno. Bald, beige, and a boring dresser? I know this is a me thing, but dang, seeing the concept art with dreads...well, a girl can dream.

Adahla, however, is having a great time. Once she decides on something, she commits with her whole heart, and now that he's admitted to being thrown off-balance during the Fade scene, she's made it her mission to keep him on that back foot as long as possible. I again have no idea how the romance plays out, and please God don't spoil me, but she & I are both hopeful that she'll keep him guessing through the end.

In terms of gameplay, I've about finished the Hinterlands, the Storm Coast, the Emerald Graves, and the Forbidden Oasis. I plan to do Wicked Eyes & Wicked Hearts (or whatever it's called) next, followed by Crestwood, and then will keep working through the maps one by one. The level gating isn't quite as bad as I remember, though still annoying, and my few QoL mods have shaved off the worst of the gameplay irritants (thank you @bettydice!).

All in all, I'm having a really good time! Like I said, I'm still a little doubtful about Solas myself, but the character concept coming into shape for Adahla feels sound, and I think she's resilient enough to weather some of the revelations that Priory wasn't. I'm excited to keep going and find out! :)

Also, my girl, because I still love her best:

[sheigarche]

girl shut up

I'm going to assume this is about Life is Strange because that's what I've been talking about the most in the last 2 months and I don't think any of my other fandoms would be bother by my posts.

So here are some hot take ideas for LIS posts I've never made because I thought it might upset some fans, but maybe I shouldn't be so quiet about it after all.

Pricefield vs DE

It seems like everything in Double Exposure was deliberately written to justify Chloe breaking up with Max.

Chloe showed that she was paranoid that Max may be using her powers to manipulate the relationship to make it work and that's exactly what Max did to Amanda and got call out for it in the end.

She also expressed how Max is unable to let go of the past and is haunt by it. So most of the game we see Max (and the player) holding on to it and struggling to move on until the very end. Some fans still can't do it and doesn't want Max to do it, but that's exactly why Chloe left.

Many people didn't realize it, but Max was struggling to establish herself as a real photographer in the years she was with Chloe, but quick became famous and recognized in the years after they broke up.

To me that's the game trying to sell the idea that they are better off without each other.

Chaseprice

Victoria and Chloe's posts in DE don't show anything explicitly romantic, it could just be friendship, but the intention to make it look like something more is pretty clear to me.

The writers chose sentences like "can you handle it, Chase?" and "I'll buy you a beer" on purpose and know exactly what the players will think of it.

Besides Victoria shows a desire in going from wherever she lives to see Chloe, and then Chloe makes plans to do a little detour to go see Victoria. Whatever this relationship is, they're making it work long distance with effort on both sides. Mutual interest.

I wouldn't be surprised if in the sequel we see one post or two subtly hinting that they're actually together. A picture on Crosstalk, maybe a comment from someone else on their posts.

Hell, I can even imagine an art gallery event of some sort where Max is invited and can bring her chosen love interest and Victoria is there with Chloe as her date... And that's how the devs manage to have a natural last conversation between Max and Chloe in person to give closure to their relationship.

And I kind of expect Victoria to come to them at some point, a little jealous or just proud of her girlfriend.

Langfield

Some people keep saying that Max wouldn't be interested in Vinh... But that's wrong.

The reality is that it was the first game's choices and Max's journey is what makes them fit together so well.

Yes, okay, maybe 18-year-old Max wouldn't like this emotionally dry 28-year-old Vinh. Maybe 18-year-old Max would have liked way more to know the enthusiastic drama student 18-year-old Vinh, who dreamed of being an actor.

Now this 28-year-old Max, full of traumas and complexes knows enough about life to see through 28-year-old Vinh's walls and realize that he is not dry, but afloat and barely keeping himself together. That's why she can really connect with him, as a friend or more.

It was the traumas and secrets that made her interesting to Vinh, just like his traumas and regrets are what make Max interested in him.

They fit together because they share some similar emotional experiences and they know how the other might be feeling in certain situations. And when they are together, they can laugh about it, have fun and be themselves, even if just for a moment.

Amberprice

Honestly I left this fandom years ago without shipping Pricefield or Amberprice, because of some reservations about Chloe's character. But now I'm back because of DE and I decided to finish Before the Storm... I can't get Rachel out of my head!

Seriously, what's this magic in their scenes and why can't I stop watching them on loop?

I always thought I had a crush on Max, but I actually have a crush on Rachel Amber of all characters. Maybe I am Chloe Price all along 😂

You know a ship is good when it changes your perception of the characters.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

The time my bf turned into a cat.

So, for the Meowstathon my mootie @itsargyle started I decided to write about the lil guy :D

Grumbling Star wiped at their eyes, wondering what was making that scratching noise? Grabbing their phone and checking it Star's eyes widen seeing so many miss calls from their boyfriend. Rushing out of bed Star threw on some clothes.

"Shit, shit, shit-" Cursing to themselves, Star tried getting ahold of Faust. But hearing the voicemail he made twice in a row they started over thinking.

"Oh my god hes dead and I'm the reason he died-" Rambling, Star flung the door opened and paused. Seeing a...cat?

The small creature looked at them and huffed loudly. Crossing his little arms, if Star wasnt so confused they would have cooed. But when the cat? Faust? Meowst? Started talking Star blinked.

"Oh 'm g! Thanks for picking up the PHONE!" Sassing, Faust watched as Star dropped down. Concern all of their face as they tried thinking of what to say. With a sigh Faust walked up to them and patted their leg.

"I think I pissed off a wizard? I dont know he had a tacky outfit on how could I NOT say something?" Explaining, Faust frowned hearing Star laugh. He didnt know if it was directed to him or they cracked.

Looking at the small black cat, that looked like he had a wig on. In Faust's usual outfit, looking stylish as ever. Star couldnt help but think that Faust would end up here because he insulted an outfit.

"So, is it permanent or?" Asking Star held out their hands. Watching as Faust, cat like perked up and went to them. Purring a but as he rubbed his cheeks all over their hands.

After realizing what he was doing Faust gently swatted at them. Then huffed and shrugged his little shoulders. God he was so fucking cute right now!

"I dont think so? But let me tell you paws are NOT easy to use on a phone." Complaining, Faust's eat them twitched, "That reminds me I kinda lost my phone....It was too heavy to bring!"

Nodding their head Star looked around the hall way they were in. Sighing they got up and looked at how, well smaller Faust got.

"So do you want to come inside? I can probably go find your phone? Where were you when you changed?" Questioning Star smiled softly seeing Faust walking in. He was plushie like and so adorable!

"Uh I was in the alley by my apartment. Hopefully it's still there if not I'll just buy another one." Indifferent Faust tried jumping on the couch. Then scolds when he couldn't lift himself up and turned to Star.

"Can you pick me up please?" Asking Faust also lifted his arms and made a gripping motion. As if an invisible arrow went through Star's heart they clutched it.

"Yeah- just hold on your so fucking cute I'm going to die." Giggling, Star then took out their phone and took a picture. Cooing they then threw it on the couch and picked Faust up.

"You better not keep that!" Pouting, Faust after being put down hissed. Turning away he crossed his arms and his ears went back.

Ut was hard not to giggle at how cute he was. But Star steeled themselves and began asking more questions. Since they both don't know how long this will last, also to see if maybe they could go find the wizard.

[lqveharrington]

could i request ‘the smallest man who ever lived’ & coriolanus snow

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived | C.S.

summary: the shell of the man you used to love haunts you every day.

pairing: president!coriolanus snow x first lady!reader

includes: hurt, comfort, angst, mentions of death, manipulation.

a/n: back in my element 🤍 (maybe binding my SRFS series 👀) (rules for celebration here!)

The day Coriolanus came back from the Districts was the day you realized everything was going to change. He used to be the boy you would run to when things got hard, the boy who would comfort you endlessly and buy you gifts when he had nothing. But now he was a man who only cared for power, a man who wanted to watch the District's rot for all the pain they caused.

Coriolanus Snow was a shell of the boy you once loved.

He became everything he once feared. The tyrannical president his father wanted to be. All his friends became pawns in his game, you were a trophy only meant to shine for publicity. His own cousin was pushed to the sides, quiet and disappointed in the man she saw making ridiculous speeches. The many sins he committed just to get on top decomposed his human nature. It was hard to watch him leave behind everything he knew and truly loved.

From sparkling summers to tarnished silver, it felt like pure selfishness. He dragged you along for the ride, refusing to let you leave the Presidential Manor in case you ruined his reputation. Coriolanus never knew, but your hope and innocence died along with your love for him. The time you spent wishing for him to come back to you became the time to write to your family, begging them to take you away from the horrid place.

He was never home when you woke up nor when you went to bed. It was like you didn't exist to him; all but a doll he could dress up and brag to politicians and governors about. However, on the rare occasion he was home, you walked on egg shells around him. His outbursts became more frequent and his rage overruled any kind of humanity he had left in him.

You only wished that this was all a terrible dream.

"Mrs. Snow?" A voice came from just outside the library, the room echoing the name as if it were taunting you.

Ignoring the call, you continued to let yourself feel fully immersed in the song you played on the grand piano. Your fingers fell gracefully along the black and white keys, each note perfectly tuned. But your eyes shot open when the voice called out for you again, the song fading as you stopped playing the piano. You slowly turned to face the voice, eyes tired yet still sharp.

“Yes, Marvin?” You sigh and raise a brow expectantly, doing your best not to look too annoyed.

“Mrs. Snow, the Taylors invited you and your husband for their annual fundraiser gala for the schooling.” He handed you the envelope and bowed before taking his leave, leaving you and the now silent library.

Pursing your lips, you peeled open the invitation and scanned the contents, heart breaking when you saw who they were commemorating the gala to. Swiftly yet silently, you made your way to Coriolanus’ office, knocking before entering. You heard his short murmur and you pushed the double doors open, eyes instantly meeting his blue ones.

“What is it?” He tilted his head at you and grabbed the invitation from you, eyes hardening at the familiar name scrawled on the inside. “We’re not going.”

“Coryo, you have to. We’ve gone every year.” You sit in the chair across from his desk, posture ever so perfect or there would be consequences you wouldn’t dare experience again. “It would be odd not to appear all of a sudden.”

Coriolanus ran his long fingers through his gelled hair, ruining hours of perfection. Not going would stir up unwanted drama and twisted stories. He stood from his seat and looked out the window, watching white snow coat the trees. He didn’t think people would still remember his departed friend, but it would have to be dealt with sooner than later.

“We’ll make an appearance and then leave.” He nodded and met your eyes through the reflection of the window, brows raising when you didn’t respond. “Do you have anything to say on the matter, darling?”

You hesitated and reached up for the necklace you wore, wetting your suddenly dry lips. “No, I don’t.”

He whipped around and sent you a sharp smile, almost like he wanted you to ask. “Good.” He moved around the desk and stood behind you, hands coming down to your shoulders.

The touch you once welcomed now made you shudder and tense. It felt like chills filled your entire body and your system learned to handle the pressure and pain.

“After the gala, we’ll have our units and peacekeepers rid of the name altogether.” He squeezed your shoulders a little too tightly before he leaned down and met your gaze once more. “The Plinth name will go down with Lucy Gray’s and life will be perfect, yes?”

You nodded and internally let out a breath of relief when he moved away from you and back to his seat at the desk. His eyes flickered over to you once more, narrowing them when you started to fidget again. You hated how much power he had over you, and the small reminders of his past love only brought more discomfort.

Before Coriolanus could ask about why you seemed nervous, another knock pounded on his office door. He kept his eyes glued on you as he muttered for the person to enter, only briefly looking at the person before looking back at you.

"Yes?"

After an hour at the fundraiser, you and Coriolanus left with a simple goodbye. You entered the manor with exhaustion written all over your face. From the fake smiles and uninteresting conversations, you were ready for bed. As you washed up and got ready for bed, you recounted all the times you had to present your best self to politicians and previous bigshots. Every single time you went to a gala or a red carpet event or a dinner, a piece of your old self chipped away. Your smile dimmed, the joy from your eyes faded.

All because you missed what you once had with the man who once loved.

Entering the bedroom after a hot shower, you immediately noticed where your husband was missing. If this was anything like his past episodes, you had to find him before something wrong happened. Quietly, you slipped on your silk robe and shuffled to the office, pushing the door open. You peeked in and saw Coriolanus staring at the fire with a blank face, almost like he was waiting for the flames to consume his every being.

Sighing, you entered and looked over his appearance. His tie was hanging loosely around his neck, his jacket was strewn across the floor, and his hair was no longer gelled in place — the curls he tried hiding peeking through. He was a mess and unfortunately, you were the one who always had to bring him back from the horrible memories that came back to haunt him.

"Coriolanus, come to bed." You spoke softly and carefully watched him, not missing the way his shoulders tensed or the way he casted his gaze to you for a split second. "Coryo—?"

"I'll be there in a minute." He murmured and played with the rug underneath his fingers.

Coriolanus hated when you found him in a dismal state, especially when it had something to do with his past. Everything he had done back in the Districts would have surely gotten him time in prison, but who was he if he didn't somehow make his way up the ranks like his father would have wanted. He tilted his head to find you curled up on the leather couch behind him, his folded suit jacket beside you.

"Darling, you don't have to wait here for me. I'll be there soon enough." Coriolanus took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, watching the faintest of smiles appear on your face. "Go to bed."

You stared at him a little longer before nodding, squeezing his hand and taking your leave. Although he didn't want your help, you knew he would just hide whatever was happening to him. He would never forget what he did all those years ago despite gaining everything and more.

After all, he was the smallest man who ever lived.

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[controversially-young-girlfriend]

the morning after • spencer reid x reader

quick little drabble! all fluff and mentions of drinking :)

happy new year! you wake up with a pounding headache and nausea like you’ve never felt before. panic sets in as you realize you’re incredibly hungover and very possibly made a fool of yourself in front of all of your co-workers at the bau.

however, one of those co-workers has made it into your bed this morning. you’ve had a crush on spencer reid, but you were never able to fully understand him. until last night, where your memories start to get fuzzy from the drinks you and garcia kept convincing morgan to buy you guys.

you know you were sitting beside reid, and knowing drunk you, you definitely leaned on him quite a bit. and maybe held his hand. and maybe kissed him while you guys went up to the bar for another shot. you wouldn’t have done it sober, and you know that reid wouldn’t have either. after that last shot the night goes blurry until it’s time to get home. thankfully spence is taking a cab home with you.

you remember getting home and kissing spence until he gently tilted your head and whispered, “uh as much as i would really love to do this, i think you’re a little more intoxicated than i am.”

“i guess you’re just intoxicating dr. reid” you slur. you watch him smirk and kiss your forehead, you’re glad he finds your drunken flirting so endearing.

he helps you take off your makeup and gets you into bed. you pass out near immediately snuggled against him and are almost convinced you’ve just been dreaming this.

so when the morning hangxiety hits you can’t help but lightly tap spencer to fill in the blanks of the night.

“good morning” he says incredibly groggy, “i hope you’re not too hungover.”

“i’m incredibly hungover sadly. but thanks for getting me home last night. i’m sorry if i acted completely insane, i don’t usually get drunk like that.”

“it’s okay. you’re quite cute when you’re drunk. alcohol usually impairs judgement and brings out aggression in people, however you just got incredibly talkative and affectionate. so i won’t remember your secrets or take all your cuddling on me personally if that’s what you’re worried about.”

you’re relieved but also scared at how oblivious reid is. a one night stand is one thing, but a one night stand with no sex and just professions of your admiration for him? how is he not getting the hint.

you look at him and smile, “normally i’d say forget it all, but i have absolutely no regrets about last night. subtract a few of the tequila shots and i’d do it all again.”

you love seeing him flustered by your words.

“y’know uh. i wanted to make sure you were sober before we did anything more, so if you’re still interested i have my entire morning free.”

he can barely finish his sentence before you grab him and kiss him. you two didn’t leave the bed all morning. or afternoon.

a/n: i’ve been gaining notes and followers so i may do an introduction! this one is very based on my own new years of getting drunk and hooking up with someone at a party 😵‍💫 if only i woke up to spencer reid and not a hangover and the immense regrets of being embarrassingly drunk at a party </3