#i was thinking he'd use it if Xaden ever hurts Violet

[queerpiratebrainrot]

I just realised that we haven't heared Tairn cuzs yet, and now I am SO EXCITED for the Single Fuck he gets

What do you guys think? When will he get to use it?

[taumoebaa]

hi oomfie imy 💗 would you mind sparing some of your favorite liam headcanons? 🤲🥺

omg hi ily. been waiting for this ask my entire life. -cracks knuckles- let's get to yapping.

my no.1 headcanon is that he's really good at everything except first aid. like absolutely clueless. i just think that he's never had much trouble winning fights so it follows that he's not used to getting hurt. and on the rare occasions that he does, he like, 'i'll walk it off.' but when he starts shadowing violet he decides to visit the healer's quadrant every now and then to learn a thing or two.

(i also just really love the idea that medicine in the FW universe is really underdeveloped because they always rely on menders for serious illnesses.)

this one is inspired by your liam headcanon but he definitely has old man habits. like whenever he's not out on some midnight shipment with the other marked kids, he's getting into bed at 9pm and waking up at 5am without fail, watching the sunrise through the windows of the dorm's walkways while he waits outside vi's room in the morning, and picking up new crafting hobbies whenever he finds the time.

also he thinks basgiath's dining hall food is bland as hell. will never stop yapping about how tyrrish food was better.

as a kid he probably played a lot of hide and seek with sloane, but sloane was always better than him at hiding. so when they got separated after the executions, he had this unconscious habit of looking around his foster home to find her, only to remember that she wouldn't be there, or anywhere. and that's my theory for why his signet is farsightedness.

on the opposite end, i love the idea that when liam started whittling, he'd leave a line of wood chips everywhere. so whenever xaden wanted to find him he'd know exactly where to go.

and of course, he prefers to walk behind violet when he's shadowing her, but if he's ever in the lead, he'll always look back just to make sure she's still there.

[cooliogirl101]

Per my last post, I mentioned how hyperintuition might be an interesting signet power to explore, combined with Violet's intelligence. Here's an experiment in how that might play out:

"Why?" Violet asked, sounding genuinely curious. Xaden blinked. Out of all the responses he'd expected, that hadn't been one of them.

"Why shouldn't we be friends?" Violet repeated, after Xaden didn't respond.

"The history between our families isn't enough for you?" Xaden scoffed, injecting as much scorn as possible into his voice.

"We agreed a long time ago not to let what happened between our parents influence our relationship," Violet said calmly, looking at him with those too-perceptive eyes of hers. "Try again."

"Look, let's not make this more awkward than it has to be. We're already tied together through our dragons which is difficult enough as it is. Adding emotions into the mix--" Longing, fondness, admiration so intense it made this chest hurt. "--is only going to complicate things."

"If anything, that only provides more reason for us to become friends," Violet argued. "You're right, it's not an ideal situation, but the fact of the matter is, we're bound together because our dragons are mated to each other. Your life is tied to mine, we're never going to be able to be apart from each other for any significant amount of time. If that's the case, why not make the best of it? If we're going to be stuck together, isn't it better if things are amicable between us? Otherwise we're just both going to be miserable all the time."

It all seemed very logical to Violet. She didn't understand why Xaden was being so stubborn about this whole thing.

"Have you ever considered that maybe I just don't want to be friends with you?" He asked bitingly. "That I don't care for you and I don't particularly want to try?"

Hurt bubbled up like a river of acid in Violet's throat and she swallowed, feeling the corners of her eyes prickle. She ignored it, shoving it back down and expertly wiping her face clean of any emotion-- say what you want about Liilith Sorrengail but she had taught her daughter some things, one of which was putting up emotional walls-- and focused instead on the feeling of wrongness sitting like a weight in her chest.

"That excuse would work better if you hadn't spent the past several months seeking me out," she murmured. "There's a reason why you don't want to get close to me. Or rather, why you don't want me to get close to you, isn't there?" There was a bell-like humming in her ears. She was on the right track. "And it's not because you don't care-- if you wanted me to think that, you shouldn't have made me those daggers or commissioned me that saddle, Xaden."

She tilted her head in thought as she considered what she knew about Xaden Riorson. Or rather, what she didn't know.

"The secret meetings you've been having. The trips you've been taking. The thing you've been hiding from me," Violet said, watching Xaden's face carefully. "That wouldn't have anything to do with this, would it?"

She exhaled as the air seemed to shift to the tune of a puzzle piece sliding into place.

"If that's the case, perhaps you don't want me getting closer to you because it increases my chances of figuring out what you're involved in. As for why you're so determined to keep the truth from me...maybe you think I'll report what you're doing? No-- that's not quite it. Or at least, it's not the whole truth," Violet mused as her chest twinged uncomfortably. "Maybe you're afraid it'll change how I view you? I think that's part of it. Or is it that what you're involved in is so dangerous that getting closer to you could potentially endanger me by association?" The thrumming in her ears got louder, even as she watched Xaden stiffen abruptly. "That's got to be it, hasn't it?"

Xaden fought to keep his expression blank as Violet continued talking with the confidence of someone who had Magic itself telling her she was right.

Even before receiving her signet ability, her mind was something formidable. Afterwards? Now it was more than a little terrifying being on the other side of that intelligence.

"Of course, that's only part of the puzzle. Now, as for what you're hiding...well, obviously you're not the only one involved. Garrick and Bodhi are clearly in on it, quite possibly all the Marked ones are. Now, a secret that involves the children of the rebellion leaders and is so damning that you worry I'll turn against you and that even being friends with you would drag me down by association--" Her voice faded into silence as she let the implications sink in.

Xaden's eyes widened with something like panic. "It's not what you think--!"

"No, I don't think you're plotting another revolution, Xaden," Violet said quietly, cutting him off. He relaxed slightly. "The thing is, whatever you know, Sgaeyl knows, and what Sgaeyl knows, Tairn knows."

Isn't that right, Tairn? She asked the dragon who had been uncharacteristically quiet until now.

I chose you for your intelligence. Tairn let out a resigned sigh. It was all the answer she needed.

"And if Tairn chose to keep this from me, then whatever you're doing is not something that will put me or Navarre at risk. But it is something that you would be killed for doing." Violet paused. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think any amount of ignorance or emotional distance between us is going to shield me from getting dragged along with you if you go down. So let me ask you again, Xaden, because I think I have a right to know-- what are you hiding from me?"

A pause. Then Andarna's voice piped up in her head, impressed.

You got all that from 'I don't want to be friends with you'?!

(Violet: I don't like to pry into my friends' secrets. They're entitled to their privacy.

Xaden: We're not friends.

Violet: ...

Violet: Gonna make you regret saying that.)

[gccdstories]

When he'd been drowning before, for completely different reasons, Sgaeyl had been there. A constant presence in his mind, pulling him back and grounding him and keeping him sane.

And while Xaden knows she's still there, can still feel her enough to know that connection isn't shattered-- the walls built around it, the steel and iron defenses that do not let a single thread of conversation through, of feeling through, the utter silence--it's almost worse than if it wasn't there at all.

He never quite realized how much he'd give for a snide comment from her--until weeks have passed without a single syllable.

❝ He was a threat. And whether you want to believe it or not, whether any of them want to believe or accept that or not-- Fuck, I don't know what to tell you. ❞

But was he? Or had the power rushing through his veins, the whispers and the addiction and the pull of just a little more that seemed to grow stronger with the exhaustion that he hadn't been able to quell either--had all of that only made Xaden think Aaric's friend a threat?

Everything seemed to be spinning out of control, faster and faster than he could even try and grip on, try and maintain any understanding, any remote sense of... of logic, of control, of--

❝ You know as well as I do that a moment's hesitation with threats doesn't work. It never does. It never turns out in our favor and will always end up destroying us. So I acted; I made the call. ❞

The power had insisted. The urgency with which it had pushed, with which it had flooded through him, the shadows pulsing even stronger, harder, darker than ever-- Like they had hungered for blood themselves, like they hungered for the death of that soldier and maybe (just maybe) a part of Xaden had... relished in it, in the kill--

No..

Xaden glanced over his shoulder at the closed door to the hall beyond, to where he knew, to where he could sense, everyone who'd want an answer. A villain and a person to blame.

A reason for death in this fucked up world in which there never was a reason for any of it--

He sighed, shook his head, fingers sliding through his dark hair before Xaden looked back to Violet as she sat on the edge of the bed. Taking a few more steps closer to her, Xaden finally said the one confession he didn't want to admit aloud.

Because to do so, to voice it, was to make it real.

Even if it already was.

❝ And you know what happened before. You are the only one that knows everything that happened... ❞ At least outside of the dragons, but seeing as his own wasn't even speaking to him, Xaden didn't think he wanted to count Sgaeyl right now. So he didn't.

❝ The whole thing that started that day-- I can't stop it. It's getting worse. I can't ignore it, I can't push it down anymore-- And everyone behind that door will figure it out eventually, Violet. ❞ Xaden knew she still had the dagger, knew she still had more than one, if he remembered correctly, if things turned even worse.

He didn't want to hurt her, but if it had been her at the door before, and not--

Xaden shook his head; he wouldn't think on that, the very fact that the slightest bit of doubt existed in his mind at all already making him sick.

❝ So yeah, I can tell you whatever you want to hear, but it's not going to change the reality. It's not going to change what's happening-- ❞

The frustration with Xaden is mounting to a new high, one that has every inch of her crackling with the familiar taste of lightning. She's done with his cryptic words, with the way he continues to pull further from everything.

From her.

Violet takes a step back as he does, closed fists down at her sides. "Stop it" She bites, nearly shaking. "Stop bullshitting me Xaden, what is going on?"

Violet is so tired, so goddamn tired of all the secrets and lies, the things hidden in shadows.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

She is over it, over every second spent splitting them apart. She doesn't want to be coddled, or seen as weak. Has she not spent the last few weeks proving that? She's in this as much as anyone, and yet Xaden still didn't see where she was coming from?

"I'm sick and tired of this circular conversation. Either tell me or get out. I'm tired, and you know as well as I do that everyone is going to want some kind of explanation. I want to help you but you won't let me"

Violet settles on the edge of her bed, her face falling into her hands. The heat is in her veins, the way it pulses as if willing a storm to come just to let out some of that magic. She is not a storm wielder, and now...she would never again see her mother wield a storm.

Her gaze lifts, the outline of his frame so familiar and yet a stranger all at once.

"It will always matter to me what you have to say. I'm just tired of trying to convince you of it"

[tragcdysewn]

"i'm very sure tairn will just hit me with a car when he remembers, vi." it's mostly muttered under his breath, though he's sure she'll both hear it, and have something to say about it. she always does when he says something he knows she won't like, but this one is absolutely valid, in his opinion. "and if i ever drain you or sgaeyl, i'll let him kill me. whatever part of me is still sane will beg him to." not that he'd have to do so, tairn wouldn't hesitate to destroy him entirely in that scenario. and if he went that far, if he ever hurt the two people he'd damned himself to save, it would be deserved, whatever happened to him. and he's sure violet won't agree with that, but if that's ever the scenario they're in? she'll be knocked out at best, and in no place to fight tairn on whether or not xaden should live. "okay, okay. i'll talk to sgaeyl when she remembers, i promise." if only to apologize, to tell her how thankful he was for everything, before he died. but that was hopefully far in the future, he hadn't taken enough power to really corrupt him, he still felt like himself, beyond the temptation to reach out to that well of power and take more of it. and even that was a vague temptation, moreso the ever present knowledge that he could rather than any real desire to actually do so. and he's taking comfort in that, that nothing is pulling at him to want to drain people, to go deeper into this shit and ruin himself. "nothing about that shit was normal, vi, i've got to assume it's not a super common thing, even around here. hopefully things stay calm for a while, and we won't have to worry about this for a while." as long as she and sgaeyl were safe, what need did he have to use any power more intense than his signet? it had never failed him before this all happened, and it felt doubtful that he'd end up in another situation any time soon that it would. he had to cling to that belief, until the last possible second, because thinking about the possibility of them in danger would just make him more likely to spiral. but when her expression shifts, he feels vaguely nauseous, knowing that whatever she's about to say is going to upset him. and then she's confirming his worry, that the venin had wanted this, had wanted him to turn for whatever reason, and she was likely the next target of it, and he's going to be sick. "why would they want that." it's a stupid question, he knows exactly why they'd want it, the two of them are some of the most powerful riders of their generation, and some of the only ones who had killed venin without dying in recent years, of course they'd want the two of them to turn to their side. 'until i join malek. after that, even.' there's no reality in which he doesn't want her and love her more than anyone else on earth, even when he's dead, he's sure he'll find her in the next life and love her then. 'i love you.' it's all he can say at this point, that he loves her, that he's sorry, that he'll stand by her for as long as he can. xaden lifts her as she kisses him, wrapping her legs around his waist and holding her tightly against him.

"tairn won't kill you." she's confident in that, in knowing that she could at least talk to him now. if he'd been a dragon still, gods knows there's nothing violet could've done if he made up his mind on xaden's fate.. but if sgaeyl is still bonded to him, and tairn knew how deeply connected violet was to xaden... she was sure he wouldn't go through with it unless it became absolutely necessary. "not unless you started draining sgaeyl, or me. and i know we can fix this before that ever becomes a possibility." she'd find a cure long before she ever would have to worry about xaden hurting either of them. he could control this, couldn't he? they were so far from the rest of the venin, so far away from those sages that may try to drag him down and away, hell they couldn't even get into their dreams here.. "just let me handle tairn, okay? keep sgaeyl on your side and i will handle the grump." she just needed to formulate a plan, and she'd have plenty of time before he started to remember.. she hadn't even tried to convince him that she knew him yet. xaden wasn't a danger to any of them right now, he was still so... freshly turned? gods, what was the proper terminology for any of this. she'd wished more than anything that she still had access to any of the books from home-- but she knew he wasn't going to hurt her. that he was going to control this, because he had to. like it or not, that was the only choice he had, control or death. and now he knew the consequences of his own death. "exactly. we just stay out of danger, and there's no need to even think about draining anything.. i doubt that maze was a normal thing around here or else there'd be way less panic when it all started. people start to get used to dangerous situations and that felt like it took everyone by surprise." or so violet hoped. if this place was as dangerous as back home, she'd have to rethink all of this control, but as long as they stayed away from deadly situations, she was sure they could buy some time to work on a cure. if anything, violet would be sure to get more people's memories back before the next disaster hit. hearing that she was that sage's next target, violet felt her stomach twist, nausea washing over her. "i.. i don't think they wanted me dead, xaden." the words are uneasy, knowing that he had given everything up for her, but there's this sinking feeling that the plan was never to kill both of them. "they kept saying, every fucking venin i saw, that i was the one he was looking for, or something along those lines. maybe he did just want to kill me himself, but i think they wanted both of us on their side." it would make sense, to either kill her, or control her, considering violet's powers were the ones that could in fact destroy venin. violet is sure, even if the plan was to capture her, xaden still would've made the same choices but, she can't help but feel the guilt in her chest knowing that he had given all of it up so she could be safe, and worrying that she was never in danger of fully dying. she should hate him for it, for turning into the very thing they were all trying to kill, and yet, she can't bring herself to be angry anymore. she's hurt, heartbroken even, but she doesn't want to lose him faster than she has to, and the moment she hears the plea in her mind, violet is nodding. 'for as long as you want me.' she doesn't care how utterly selfish and stupid the decision is, she can't bear the idea of turning her back on him when there's a chance she can fix this, when there's the chance that her running now would be the very thing that causes him to slip. she's pulling back now that the tears are.. manageable at least, looking back up at him. 'i'm not going anywhere. i'm staying.' and then her arms shift from around his waist, up to his neck, to pull him down, going up on her toes at the same time, finally pressing her lips against his.

[siderealxmelody]

Orsus glared at Xaden.

"No."

They looked back to Violet, slowly easing off anyway. They spun the blade, letting it disappear into their pocket. They exhaled, their fingers touching her to heal her skin.

"You say you're a tool but you've never been honed love. Being a tool isn't fun, it's a nightmare. The things I had to, willingly and otherwise. Those stains don't stop Violet."

They stepped back, slipping their hands in their pockets.

"They experimented on me, they collared me and used me. They all did Daglan, Valg, Ilken, Ridderak. Before Sebastian and Natalia no one has treated with me kindness in eons. Do you understand what that does to a person? I won't loose the family that saw more than the tool or weapon I was forged into."

The smile was sad, apologetic. They looked to Xaden.

"I'm sorry. I just - I don't want you to die. But she - we can't keep hiding things from her."

They looked back to her, exhaling.

"You want to know more about me? You want to know what they did to me? Go to the archives, search Reshaye...come find me when you have a list of questions...I'm sorry I hurt you."

They shut their eyes, exhaling. They shook their head, stepping back and back. They turned on their heel walking away. They were shaking, anxiety and rage tunneling their vision.

Their parents wing was quiet but they were sure they were awake.

"Mama? Mama please I think - I think I went too far. I think -"

Xaden would hate them right? He'd choose her over them right? They'd cast them aside and -

And they'd be alone again.

Alone and having to run. They'd tried to control their anger. They'd tried hard to be good, to not let those stained peices get free.

But the unimaginable fear of loosing the first true family they ever had was beginning to make them spiral.

They whined, sitting on the carpet and beginning to rock. Curling into a ball, they didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. They didn't -

They wanted to be good.

Orsus growled, lightning curling up their wrist, they flicked it, letting the burn scorch the wall.

"You'll never be good enough. Revelations should be taken in stride. What will you do if you're on the field and see Rhiannon or one of your other friends die? What will you do if you watch one of your siblings die and can't save them? Or what if you can only save one? Or have to choose between the enemy or my brother? I'd hope you'd choose to finish the war but knowing you -"

They moved fast, pressing their knife to her throat hard. The blood didn't bother them, they barred their teeth.

"You ask my brother about that time I'll kill you do you understand? The point was to see youe focus and compartmentalization skills Violet. But you choose to focus on the things that doesn't matter..and I didn't tell you about Xaden's time. I told you about your family's time there. You should be pissed at your mother, or father for coddling you."

They pressed the knife harder, not enough to seriously harm...yet.

"Or your siblings. My brother doesn't owe you those memories. Nod if you understand."

[mcrcki]

"tairn won't kill you." she's confident in that, in knowing that she could at least talk to him now. if he'd been a dragon still, gods knows there's nothing violet could've done if he made up his mind on xaden's fate.. but if sgaeyl is still bonded to him, and tairn knew how deeply connected violet was to xaden... she was sure he wouldn't go through with it unless it became absolutely necessary. "not unless you started draining sgaeyl, or me. and i know we can fix this before that ever becomes a possibility." she'd find a cure long before she ever would have to worry about xaden hurting either of them. he could control this, couldn't he? they were so far from the rest of the venin, so far away from those sages that may try to drag him down and away, hell they couldn't even get into their dreams here.. "just let me handle tairn, okay? keep sgaeyl on your side and i will handle the grump." she just needed to formulate a plan, and she'd have plenty of time before he started to remember.. she hadn't even tried to convince him that she knew him yet. xaden wasn't a danger to any of them right now, he was still so... freshly turned? gods, what was the proper terminology for any of this. she'd wished more than anything that she still had access to any of the books from home-- but she knew he wasn't going to hurt her. that he was going to control this, because he had to. like it or not, that was the only choice he had, control or death. and now he knew the consequences of his own death. "exactly. we just stay out of danger, and there's no need to even think about draining anything.. i doubt that maze was a normal thing around here or else there'd be way less panic when it all started. people start to get used to dangerous situations and that felt like it took everyone by surprise." or so violet hoped. if this place was as dangerous as back home, she'd have to rethink all of this control, but as long as they stayed away from deadly situations, she was sure they could buy some time to work on a cure. if anything, violet would be sure to get more people's memories back before the next disaster hit. hearing that she was that sage's next target, violet felt her stomach twist, nausea washing over her. "i.. i don't think they wanted me dead, xaden." the words are uneasy, knowing that he had given everything up for her, but there's this sinking feeling that the plan was never to kill both of them. "they kept saying, every fucking venin i saw, that i was the one he was looking for, or something along those lines. maybe he did just want to kill me himself, but i think they wanted both of us on their side." it would make sense, to either kill her, or control her, considering violet's powers were the ones that could in fact destroy venin. violet is sure, even if the plan was to capture her, xaden still would've made the same choices but, she can't help but feel the guilt in her chest knowing that he had given all of it up so she could be safe, and worrying that she was never in danger of fully dying. she should hate him for it, for turning into the very thing they were all trying to kill, and yet, she can't bring herself to be angry anymore. she's hurt, heartbroken even, but she doesn't want to lose him faster than she has to, and the moment she hears the plea in her mind, violet is nodding. 'for as long as you want me.' she doesn't care how utterly selfish and stupid the decision is, she can't bear the idea of turning her back on him when there's a chance she can fix this, when there's the chance that her running now would be the very thing that causes him to slip. she's pulling back now that the tears are.. manageable at least, looking back up at him. 'i'm not going anywhere. i'm staying.' and then her arms shift from around his waist, up to his neck, to pull him down, going up on her toes at the same time, finally pressing her lips against his.

"we're still bonded, she didn't break it when i turned." and he was holding onto that, at least, that sgaeyl seemingly didn't think he was beyond saving, that she hadn't immediately written him off. but really, sgaeyl not remembering anything was less appealing now that he knew he had limited time left, he wanted to speak to her with both of them as themselves before this all ended. "tairn is going to kill me, dragon or not, when he remembers." and maybe that'd be better, just let the dragon kill him quickly before things get too bad or violet needs to attempt to take him out herself. "i don't know how much you can say to convince him not to." he cared for violet, that much was clear, but the idea that she could convince him not to kill someone who had turned venin and was bonded to his mate? it felt incredibly unlikely when you looked at it from that angle. "yeah, maybe we can buy some time, i'm not just going to start draining people for no reason, if there's nothing spurring it on, i won't be tempted to do anything." but it's echoing in his mind, her screaming for him to help her in that maze, and he knows he would have drained the entire fucking city if it meant he could have gotten her out of there alive and unharmed. he didn't, but only because he'd had no idea he could. if it happened again... it wouldn't, he'd find some other way to protect her, keep her from getting injured or her life being at risk. it was doable, he could make sure she was safe. "they were going to kill sgaeyl, the wyverns were tearing her apart, and that fucking sage made it very clear that when i was dead, he was going to wring your neck and make sure you followed me." and he believed it, killing her would get rid of a powerful enemy to their entire kind, but he couldn't quite understand why the other had tried to convince him to turn, rather than just snapping his neck and moving on. it didn't make any sense, the sage encouraging xaden to take the power to kill him. but he couldn't linger on that, he'd drive himself insane looking for answers to questions that would likely never be given satisfactory conclusions, considering the one person who could answer them was dead. and if he was already destined to go insane, he'd rather not speed along the process with something entirely pointless. but he still had violet, she hadn't run off in terror at the knowledge of what he'd become, had made it quite clear that she had no intention of letting him slip away from her until they had absolutely no other choice. 'stay.' it's impulsive, and stupid, and idiotic, and it's all that he wants from her in that moment. he pushes back from her slightly, bending down to lift her chin and press his lips against hers, tangling his free hand into her braid. his throat is tight, and he's more than happy to continue the conversation through the bond rather than verbally, not trusting his voice to not waver at the moment. 'stay here, vi, don't leave, just... fuck, stay. please.'